#carmilla sentence meme

[promptling]

CARMILLA by j. sheridan le fanu, edited by carmen maria machado

did you realize he killed her off?

who reads an introduction?

i long for the door to open.

i did not know that it was possible.

i did not realize my soil was not salted.

she is already dead.

someone did lie there, the place is still warm.

lord hear all good prayers for us, for jesus's sake.

the poor young lady is dead.

the letter appears to me to have been written in distraction.

i'm in one of my moping moods tonight.

i forget the rest.

was ever a being so born to calamity?

i cannot, dare not, delay.

it would be so delightful.

where am i? what is this place?

how do you like our guest?

tell me about her.

how very odd to say all that!

i hope i have not done a very foolish thing.

how wonderful!

i saw your face in a dream, and it has haunted me ever since.

i could not forget your face.

i don't know which of us should be more afraid of the other.

if you were less pretty i think i should be very much afraid of you.

i wonder whether you feel as strangely drawn towards me as i do to you.

i have never had a friend.

i shan't require assistance.

it is very hard to part with you.

young people like, and even love, on impulse.

heavens! if i had but known all!

your little heart is wounded.

if your dear heart is wounded, my wild heart bleeds with yours.

you are mine, you shall be mine, you and i are one forever.

what can you mean by this?

i don't know myself when you look so and talk so.

don't you perceive how discordant that is?

i think it very sweet.

you pierce my ears.

you must die - everyone must die - and all are happier when they do.

i don't trouble my head about peasants.

tell me nothing about ghosts.

i hope there is no plague or fever coming.

sit here, hold my hand.

that comes of strangling people with hymns!

i shall demand redress from him.

then you have been ill?

let us talk no more of it.

you would not wound a friend?

you are afraid to die?

girls are caterpillars while they live in the world, to be finally butterflies when the summer comes; but in the meantime there are grubs and larvae, don’t you see—each with their peculiar propensities, necessities and structure.

are you glad i came?

how romantic you are.

i have been in love with no one, and never shall, unless it should be with you.

i live in you, and you would die for me, i love you so.

is there a chill in the air?

it is the last time, perhaps, i shall see the moonlight with you.

i have been thinking of leaving you.

do you think that you will ever confide fully in me?

you do not know how dear you are to me.

i am under vows, no nun half so awfully.

you will think me cruel, very selfish, but love is always selfish.

how jealous i am you cannot know.

you must come with me, loving me, into death; or else hate me and still come with me, and hating me through death and after.

there is no such word as indifference in my apathetic nature.

you are going to talk your wild nonsense again.

were you ever at a ball?

i was all but assassinated in my bed.

love will have its sacrifices.

no sacrifice without blood.

you see it now with your own eyes.

you must not plague me with questions.

you are not to trouble your head about it.

i should tell you all with pleasure, but you should not believe me.

you puzzle me utterly.

i had no hope of meeting you so soon.

[goodnightmemes]

CARMILLA SEASON ONE SENTENCE STARTERS (PART TWO)

Lines taken from episodes s01e20 - s01e36 of the web series Carmilla. Feel free to change as needed. Part one is here.

❛ This need of yours to document everything borders the pathological. ❜

❛ Posterity doesn’t care. I should know, I live in it. ❜

❛ Whoa, you can’t tell it like that, like some boring history lesson! This is dangerous! This is exciting! This is flashback material! ❜

❛ You don’t think perhaps this makes light of my tragic back story? ❜

❛ I knew nothing of her, except she was very old and very wise and had pried apart the jaws of death to enact my rescue. ❜

❛ The wide world did open before me in death as it had never been in life. ❜

❛ I was never an abductor. I was a lure. ❜

❛ I couldn’t bear to give her up. ❜

❛ I had taken great lengths to hide what I was from her. But, [ name ] went to her in secret and revealed my true nature in the most horrifying light. ❜

❛ And so, my price for the disobedience was to watch [ name ] be taken away to some…certain doom. ❜

❛ I pretended to go along. I had no choice! ❜

❛ There can be great satisfaction in small revenges. ❜

❛ It doesn’t change the fact that my mom will scoop out your eyeballs and serve them in martinis. ❜

❛ Sorry, I’m not on board with untying someone who may eat me. ❜

❛ Pop culture has so much to answer for. ❜

❛ That’s some big talk, fresh meat. ❜

❛ Untie me and we’ll find out. That is what you’re here for, isn’t it? ❜

❛ Oh, yeah, victims who fight back are so inconvenient. ❜

❛ We don’t kill the targets! ❜

❛ Thank you for not letting him eat me. ❜

❛ That’s it? You just use me as a human juice box and I don’t even get an explanation? ❜

❛ Ugh, I’m a vampire and I’m pissed off. What were you expecting? ❜

❛ You never had much of a chance anyway. Sorry, cutie. Nothing personal. ❜

❛ Funny the way things work out, huh? ❜

❛ Fine. But only because I have nothing resembling a better plan. ❜

❛ Ugh, what are you whining about now? ❜

❛ Ethics are a ridiculous game played by children who think they can impose order on an arbitrary universe. ❜

❛ But the fact that we’re both not messily dead bodes well. ❜

❛ At what point in the last century did people give up on knocking? ❜

❛ The vampires loose. Why is the vampire loose? ❜

❛ Feel like telling me the secrets of your antediluvian vampire cult today? ❜

❛ So, after everything that she’s done to you, your big revenge is to be annoying? ❜

❛ And you know how you get to be centuries old? You pick your battles. ❜

❛ Not to ruin your big heroic entrance, Xena, but she’s not the one in trouble. ❜

❛ I have been doing my very best to be patient about the ambush and the hostage-taking and the starvation diet, but I am having difficulty remembering why it is I haven’t torn out your spine. ❜

❛ I was just…I was scared for you. ❜

❛ I care about you! Of course it’s my job to keep you safe. ❜

❛ Well, I’m sorry that my making my own decisions and being reckless is making it hard for you to do your job. ❜

❛ I like you. I really do. I like that you’re brave and strong and all kinds of righteous, but I don’t need a dad. I’ve already got that one covered. ❜

❛ It’s just, me and you…needing different things, y’know? ❜

❛ God, I hate this place. ❜

❛ So, it was kind of a long night last night. Seems the Alchemy Club lost control of this giant underground fungus. ❜

❛ Okay, you can stop pretending to be all callous and indifferent. They saw you save me. ❜

❛ Side note: what is it with people trying to burn that place down? Didn’t they already torch it back in 1904? ❜

❛ Well, nobody likes theater students. ❜

❛ Did you see [ name ] out there? Good thing she’s on our side, cause that was violent. ❜

❛ Yeah, I’d steer clear of her for a little while. Especially if she’s armed. ❜

❛ Yeah, sure. Okay, let’s just dissect my deeply painful past in excruciating detail. ❜

❛ Uh, yeah, crushes-on-vampires. ❜

❛ No! No. Okay. These are not things that happen. Vampires and evil, weird brain parasites, and giant mushrooms? No. ❜

❛ This needs to stop happening. I demand this stops happening. Just…be normal! ❜

❛ I get that this is all big fun for you. But you can’t just expect everyone to go along with all of this insanity. ❜

❛ Like it or not, weird is the way it is. ❜

❛ Yeah, or maybe just for tonight we stuff our faces with popcorn and watch bad scifi. ❜

❛ Blood…there was blood everywhere again. ❜

❛ Nothing should shine like that. Like the rotted heart of the world. ❜

❛ So, that’s not creepy. ❜

❛ Awesome. I didn’t need to sleep again ever. ❜

❛ Not to get all fascinated by weird things, but maybe it’s a clue. ❜

❛ How did you idiots ever trap me? ❜

❛ And since, uh, the subbasement where the archives are housed only exists after dark, a day trip was out of the question. ❜

❛ We are ready for the weird. We thrive on it. We tape our flamethrowers to our pulse rifles and we make the weird submit. ❜

❛ So we survived the research trip! Which, we should probably never speak of again. ❜

❛ Because somebody really did get absorbed into the Library catalogue. ❜

❛ Yeah, that’s the problem with the existence of horrors from beyond the dawn of time. Their lack of subtlety. ❜

❛ Eh, 1871 was a dull year. I decided to read Gilgamesh. ❜

❛ I thought I’d just…check to make sure you weren’t dead. And you’re not. So, that’s fine. ❜

❛ Don’t start expecting heroic vampire crap from me, cupcake. ❜

❛ I sure as hell know better than to spit in the eye of something old enough to think it’s a god. ❜

❛ If you want me to stop having heroic notions about you, you should probably stop saving my life. ❜

❛ I did dream about that weird black cat thing again, but I think that’s just my subconscious being weird. ❜

❛ If anyone had told me before college that fighting evil required this much paperwork, I would not have believed them. ❜

❛ Because A) she meddled in things that were none of her business, B) Did you really think we wouldn’t find out what you were up to C) we are ancient and terrible D) None of you are safe; we’ll take anyone we want. ❜

❛ Told you I’m not the hero of this piece. ❜

❛ What if the last thing she remembers is that I was awful to her? ❜

❛ You are ridiculous and headstrong, and naive, and this whole Lois Lane, Jr. gig is doomed, okay? ❜

❛ You can send a dude to college, but you can’t make him think. ❜

❛ Must be nice sometimes, though. To be normal. Or oblivious. ❜

❛ We drank a lot and danced like fools. Waltzing was fun. It had a frisson scandal back then. ❜

❛ Partners were face-to-face. Chest to chest. All of that, um…whirling. In 1698, it may as well have been sex. ❜

❛ Worst crush ever. ❜

❛ Are we calling the police? Possibly hiring a private investigator? Mercenaries? Bloodthirsty killers for hire? We can do that, right? ❜

❛ Is that new stuff appearing on the book because you spilled blood on it? Right, of course it is. ❜

❛ God, this just gets creepier and creepier. ❜

❛ What do you mean I’m back? I didn’t go anywhere. Did I…go somewhere? ❜

❛ Please tell me you didn’t waste an entire day making brownies. ❜

❛ Well, why does anyone start a cult? Wealth, power, eternal youth, to get back at people you knew in high school… ❜

❛ Did you record your own kidnapping? ❜

❛ Well, hey! If we get sucked into an underground evil, your deadline will be moved. ❜

❛ Can I have an extension on my term paper? Just for, like, a week, until the big soul-sucking ritual I have to thwart is over. ❜

❛ If you can’t keep your supernatural affairs in order long enough to get your assignments done, that’s your business. ❜

❛ This place was cleaner when you were tied up. ❜

❛ We just need something a little epic quest and a little more “borrowed from the museum of warfare and atrocities”. Maybe a nice bazooka… ❜

❛ Don’t be an idiot. Of course I’m doing it for you. ❜

❛ You didn’t come when I sent for you. ❜

❛ So if you’re gonna kill me, why not just come yourself? ❜

❛ Kill you? When you think of the lengths I’ve gone to save you from your own foolishness? No, but I thought we should talk without your little “friends” listening in. ❜

❛ Threats to the Sacrifice cannot be tolerated. One day, you’ll understand. ❜

❛ I think you’re a practical girl and you’ll see that everything I do, I do for the best. ❜

❛ That silly little creature couldn’t’ve loved you ❜

❛ Oh, darling, there’s no way for you to fight and nothing to fight with. Sometimes, that’s just the way of the world. And we must learn to bear it as best we can. ❜

❛ So if it’s all doomed, why even bother coming to tell me? ❜

❛ I thought I’d offer you a deal. If you can keep your little…pet here from making more trouble, I’ll let you keep her. ❜

❛ Y’know, we’re up to being big damn heroes. ❜

❛ Remember, she’s safe so long as you keep her from meddling. If either of you get in the way again, all bets are off. ❜

❛ I will feel a lot better when we are all together and heavily-armed. ❜

❛ This plan keeps you safe. It keeps your friends here safe. That’s all we can do. ❜

❛ You’re right; it’s all that we can do, but what if there were more of us? ❜

❛ And then, unfortunately, I was hit in the head with a tomato. ❜

❛ And like all of their arguments, it quickly escalated into a free-for-all, with paintballs and quarterstaff combat and no concern for the destruction of property. ❜

❛ I won’t let you take her. ❜

❛ After everything, you didn’t even try. ❜

❛ Go away. Go run and hide. We’re done. ❜

❛ So, college isn’t turning out quite like I thought it would. ❜

❛ I won’t try and force you. There’s no way that we can win. We might not even be able to make a dent. ❜

❛ Some things are more important than whether you can win. ❜

❛ Goddamnit. Of all the imbecilic, idiot, suicidal…you just had to go and get yourself eaten. ❜

❛ I just got a text “Trapped in basement of old chapel. Come quick. Bring stakes.” ❜

❛ Yeah, I think we’re supposed to be filming our soppy heartfelt goodbyes or something. ❜

❛ We won. We actually won. We won, and [ name ]’s dead. ❜

❛ No, no, no, no. That was hardcore. We do not apologize for the hardcore. ❜

❛ The light was everywhere. You could see these figures in it, reaching out for you. ❜

❛ Y’know, I really am starting to hate this heroic vampire crap. ❜

❛ Oh, and she was doing the whole “you fools, you don’t know what you’ve done, you’ll regret this, zombies will eat your liver, blah blah blah blah” ❜

❛ People are finally coming around, realizing they probably should have been upset about going to a school that serves eyeballs in the cafeteria, has safety protocols for escaped cacodemons, and where mortal combat is a prerequisite for tenure. ❜

❛ You did it. You saved [ name ]. You saved almost everyone. ❜

❛ God, her sole possessions are, like, a pile of empty wallets and some punk rock t-shirts. ❜

❛ I’m gonna need all of the bleach. God, how did you not die? ❜

❛ So, we think she’s … I mean, she seems dead, but she’s a vampire, right? ❜

❛ Are you hurt? It looks like maybe you’re hurt. And I’m sorry I hugged you so hard that you’re hurt, it- it’s just that you were dead and- and now you’re not and- ❜

❛ Posterity can bite me. I have better things to do. ❜

❛ I have an idea. We just go. We leave for reading week and we never come back. I mean, we can do that, right? Right? ❜

[respctlss]

❛  here, you look like you need this more than me right now.  ❜ (for Carmilla. Get that stressed out woman a drink)

Carmilla looked at the glass. For a second, she almost turned him down. Even an Overlord of her status knew better than to accept an offering from the likes of the Radio Demon. However . . . Alastor was as much a friendly acquaintance as he was a danger to her well - being. She sincerely doubted whatever he might've put in that drink was strong enough to take her down anyway.

not that alastor would have. poisoning a drink seems too little and too boring, for a showman like him.

" -- thank you. " Her gratitude was short - spoken as she took the drink, swirling a bit in her hands. This was no longer about the prospect of poison. A woman of her standing knew the qualities of what made a good drink, though. Well, even if it was terrible, Carmilla's stomach could handle it. A part of her almost wanted it to be ; memories of life on Earth, knocking back moonshine tequila with her friends, their faces either red or puckered, flooded from her heart. It would be nice to experience something like that again -- a simple life with no worry of death or consequence, where one tomorrow seemed like a single lifetime away . . .

but, she thought, i am no longer that girl.

Carmilla's face hardened. She knocked back the whiskey, her tongue barely tasting any of the liquor as it passed through her lips. It left a satisfying burn, though, as she placed down the glass. A pleasant, familiar warmth settled into her stomach. It was . . . fine.

" . . . i see you're still drinking rye whiskey. you really haven't changed these past seven years, have you, Alastor? "

random dialogue sentence starters / @harteatiing

[rainedroptalks]

alrighty @svenka-the-meme-lord and anyone else who wants to hear me ramble about raph and her lack of a backstory

basically, in this hc, she was a scientist in the city from UDAD, and the olympians often tasked her with the stuff they didn’t want their names attached to (loads of unethical science) and when it was finally found out by the public, they made her take the fall. she was locked up in in a tower with no means of escape, but she managed to sneak in these weird ancient texts about mechanized appendages (dr carmilla visited back in the day and left behind a bunch of her notes). she gets to work building her wings and when she finishes them, starts flying around. she’s immediately spotted because, yeah, and is brought before the olympians. they sentence her to death via fire but oops! the wings made her immortal. after that she meets the rest of the mechs and joins their crew.

yada yada falling and rising from the ashes

[badassxbirdy]

@demcnsinmymind sent: From Lance: ❛ Side note: what is it with people trying to burn that place down? Didn’t they already torch it back in 1904? ❜ (maybe they're on a hunt together and the boy's trying to learn her ways post his canon? idk, could be a fun scenario :>>>)

Meme: Carmilla sentence starters

“Yeah, not much of the buildin’ survived the first time around.” Was it weird to feel proud of him for remembering research details so well? Probably. Tyler knew that he’d done a lot research into the history of his filming locations for the show, but she still hadn’t expected him to be so good at this. “Any chance you remember what the ‘official’ cause of the first fire was?” She might have known that already. Maybe. Okay, definitely. But he was on a roll and she wanted to keep that going. At least her ‘I’m trying to remember but I’m not sure’ face was pretty convincing.

[somerpmemes]

Carmilla S1 Starters

Change as needed

“We’re gonna get you in something cute… ooh, this is bad.”

“No, you can stop yelling!”

“Boom! Revenge is mine!”

“I mean, this is like a death threat, or a health code violation.”

“Are you really gonna try and pretend this isn’t a total freak show?”

“Oh, see, surviving. Yes, I like that plan.”

“A lot of problems can be solved by good communication.”

“That bunched-up little face you make when you’re angry is hilarious, buttercup.”

“Devastating interrogation technique there.”

“Well, there’s the scoop of the century.”

“Feel free to stuff it.”

“I really hope that it passes over you and I hope it doesn’t touch your face.”

“Are you really so damaged that you’re incapable of caring about anything?”

“And do you really think you’re doing a lick or actual good?”

“Hell, even you deserve better.”

“So, that was harrowing.”

“Sometimes a girl’s gotta manufacture her own excitement, y’know?”

“Sounds chivalrous.”

“What the frilly hell is this?!”

“Babes shouldn’t fight.”

“It’s only a matter of time before you get caught.”

“I think my brain has melted.”

“Huh. You do look like crap.”

“Try not to get all sweaty and delirious before I get back.”

“This is so childish. You’d think we were still six.”

“Schadenfreude isn’t very attractive, ___.”

“God, this age doesn’t understand obligation. It’s like an undersea anchor; impossible to escape.”

“You are entirely too sweet.”

“Well, that is gonna be incredibly boring.”

“Why are you wearing war paint?”

“Not that my excruciating awkwardness should even be a blip right now.”

“You’re jumpy.”

“Well, dreams are supposed to be strange.”

“How creepily specific.”

“That’s uncharacteristically considerate of you.”

“The devil you know, you know?”

“What contaminated your control samples?”

“You should have never gone out that late!”

“Everything in your fridge is made of glucose and palm oil. I’m surprised you don’t have scurvy.”

“Well, the fact that a terrible plan is our only plan is not really a selling point.”

“How do we feel about bear spray?”

“You look like you’re about to flee your brooding lover across the moors.”

“Don’t you look like a virgin sacrifice.”

“Parties should be a shimmering moment of possibility, not a collection of brutes around a piece of flaming driftwood.”

“Look, if you didn’t like it, you could’ve just said something.”

“Maybe I don’t feel like sharing you right now.”

“That would be more flattering if it didn’t make me sound like a canapé.”

“Such a cliche. I ought to know better.”

“Bumps and bruises, and the dubious legality of holding someone hostage in their own room aside, I think this is cause for a little celebration.”

“You know, at times like these a dude needs to be with his bros.”

“You cannot seriously think that we’re dumb enough to believe you’re innocent just because you say so.”

“Do I strike you as the type of person who plays well with others?”

“I hear they have a great collection of straight jackets and tranquilizers.”

“Buckle up, cream puff. We’re gonna be in for a long night. Or, you know, Wednesday afternoon.”

“This need of yours to document everything borders the pathological.”

“Posterity doesn’t care. I should know, I live in it.”

“This is dangerous, this is exciting… this is flashback material!”

“You don’t think perhaps this makes light of my tragic backstory?”

“Now I’m a creature of the night! I can sleep until noon every day!”

“There can be great satisfaction in small revenges.”

“All too tragic for sock puppets.”

“Sorry, ___, not on board with untying someone who may eat me.”

“Cute. Not gonna save you.”

“Yeah, victims who fight back are so inconvenient.”

“Fine. But only because I have nothing resembling a better plan.”

“That’s unethical. Considerate, but unethical.”

“Ethics are a ridiculous game played by children who think they can impose order on an arbitrary universe.”

“Well, if you were smart you’d take any advantage you can get.”

“Would you stop playing to the cheap seats for all of five seconds!?”

“I care about you, of course it’s my job to keep you safe!”

“Okay, you can stop pretending to be all callous and indifferent.”

“Like it or not, ___, weird is the way it is.”

“I’d like to find something to experiment on now.”

“Awesome. I didn’t need to sleep again ever.”

“Thirteen year old boys have so much more subtlety.”

“This morning, after a long night of fruitless research, it is more fruitless research!”

“None of you are safe, we’ll take anyone we want.”

“Alright, just stop all of this before I get queasy.”

“I get it, you guys are trying to help me because you think I’m dumb.”

“You can send a dude to college, but you can’t make him think.”

“Did you vacuum around me?”

“She might be traumatized but she isn’t wrong.”

“God, this just gets creepier and creepier.”

“It really doesn’t seem to be that scary. It’s probably a bad sign, right?”

“That silly little creature couldn’t have loved you.”

“Stone cannot love flesh.”

“If either of you get in the way again, all bets are off.”

“I will feel a lot better when we are all together and heavily armed.”

“Don’t you have a sword to go get?”

“After everything, you didn’t even try.”

“I won’t try and force you. There’s no way that we can win, we might not even be able to make a dent.”

“Some things are more important than whether you can win.”

“Yeah, I think we’re supposed to be filming our soppy, heartfelt goodbyes or something.”

“See you at the violence.”

“So, a completely unexpected thing just happened: we won.”

“I still cannot believe you used me as a human homing beacon.”

“That was hardcore. We do not apologize for the hardcore.”

“I’m going to need all of the bleach.”

“So, something happened and, um, I just wanted to come prepare you so you wouldn’t freak out.”

“Are you hurt? It looks like maybe you’re hurt.”

“We didn’t kill it?”

“I have an idea: we just go.”

“A holiday where you can’t kill people is a stupid holiday.”

“Alright, I’m going to regret this but, what’s wrong?”

“Murder her for Christmas! Murder her for Christmas!”

[quillwritten]

you can tell my current work is gay because there’s twenty-three (23) commas in every sentence

[definitelyyessnakedemons]

a list of the partially-written things i have laying around in my documents:

a fic in which Yennefer and Tissaia adopt a baby together

“Baby Roach 3: There’s a Baby Roach Loose in Kaer Morhen” which is approximately half written

part of a scene which will probably end up being put in “Baby Roach 5″ (none of “Baby Roach 4″ is written yet, but it has a specific theme which this partially written scene does not fit. it also does not fit part 3.)

“Dancing in the Rain of Descending Ash” ch 6

a heckin’ awkward dialogue exchange for a Carmilla/Raman soulmate AU

“From a Shell” ch 28 (still in rough outline form at the moment)

the introductory sentence to what was supposed to be the main fic in the three fandom pileup crossover that is “Several Concurrent Apocalypses: Aftermath”

1 scene and 2 partial scenes from the second chapter of “Be Thou Bound”

the beginnings of parts 4 & 5 of “In the Grey of the Morning”

first 3 sentences of “Legacy” ch 4

approx 15% of ch 4 of “Mother of Little Bears”

two sentences of the next chapter of “Sidelines”

some dialogue exchanges from a fic in which a very depressed angel OC shows up in Aziraphale’s shop

part of a scene from a future installment (but not part 4) of “too late for whispers”/”too late for the blush”

partially written (but still mostly in rough outline form) body horror fill for the phoenix wright kink meme

beginning of the 4th installment of “While I Turn to Sand”

a fic in which at the end of s2, Hector tricks Carmilla into turning him into a vampire. (this is not a happy story)

nearly 3k words of a thing i’m just calling “the horrible thing” and probably won’t even post if/when it’s finished

a fic in which the title is longer than the single line of dialogue i’ve written for it

a fic in which Carmilla and Hector have a very bad time and almost get killed on their way to Styria, and end up being saved by Trevor and Sypha, and things only get more awkward from there

partial fill for the phoenix wright kink meme in which the challenge is to write a sex scene without using a single adjective or adverb..... it is not going well so far, but i am determined!!

Pet Shop of Horrors/Castlevania crossover in which Count D visits a rival pet shop to tell Hector to stop resurrecting kids’ dead pets with necromancy

an Isaac/Hector fic in which Isaac is a selkie, which further complicates things because Hector seems to like him a lot better when he’s a seal

drabble about Seras’s plasma arm

a dumb joke that i’m going to have build a fic backwards around

the second installment of “The Secret Dance of Snakes”

several documents that are blank except for the fic titles, as i have 0% of the next chapter written for them

the scrap file, which currently has nearly 9k words of various lines and scenes cut from my fics which i’ve saved in case i want to use them for something else later, but they just weren’t working out in what i was trying to write

[nyte-balter]

"I give up." [ Jocelyn ] /@ heartbreak single sentence meme

“... Give up on what, mon creampuff?”

Moments like this tend to happen. Carmilla playing medic to everyone’s injuries after a tough battle for the six of them. Morale seemed low, but at this point, it wasn’t wise to keep their feelings bottled up.

[kaeltale]

Last Sentence Meme

I got tagged by @merulanoir! ♥️

I’m in a really bad mood right now, due to the incoming Tumblr purge, so I needed a happy thing to distract me, and this was just the right distraction! There are supposedly rules for this meme, but rules are for douchebag social media companies that like to censor fanart... fuck that!

“Whatever are you doing here?” There was distance in his eyes and laughter in his tone, as though he was waiting for her to deliver the punchline.

This is the last line I’ve touched in my WIP: Mercy. It’s nearly ready to post, but I’m doing some last-minute edits.

I have a need to share happy thoughts, so here’s a bonus (my favorite lines):

“___ is a sick bastard,” Carmilla laughed to Emiel, and waved the rolled up monstrosity at him. “Is this what you were expecting?”

He hurried over and took it from her, peeling it open with wide eyes. “Well fuck me…” he gasped.

(It’s going to be another young Emiel Regis and Carmilla, the Queen of the Night, fic. Super excited! You can see their first appearance together in A Vampire, an Elf, and a Dragon Walk into a Bar on AO3. #ShamelessSelf-Promotion)

Tagging: @andordean, @sherlockedcarmilla, @asparrowsfall, and anyone else who was curious enough to look below the cut! ♥️

[goodnightmemes]

CARMILLA SEASON ONE SENTENCE STARTERS (PART ONE)

Lines taken from episodes s01e01 - s01e19 of the web series Carmilla. Feel free to change as needed. Part two is here.

❛ Nothing, not even the homecoming goat sacrifice, disturbs the pursuit of knowledge. ❜

❛ I passed the test! 62%. Which is pretty cool. It’s like a gentlewoman’s C. ❜

❛ This is our college adventure, come on! ❜

❛ And how is the Jäger-bombinatrix doing this morning? ❜

❛ And really, why does anybody do anything? ❜

❛ I found it next to a pile of ick that started growing mushrooms the next day. ❜

❛ Don’t judge. My dad thought I’d use an iPhone to send high-resolution selfies to potential stalkers. ❜

❛ If an incident is in progress, please dial 4815 or activate the nearest blue tentacle phone. ❜

❛ To report an escaped entity or poltergeist activity, please press - ❜

❛ Fine. I’ve got three weeks of a journalism class and I’ve seen all of Veronica Mars. I’ll find her myself. ❜

❛ I don’t know, things just got so foggy after the alchemy guys released, you know, the fog. ❜

❛ I’m your new roommate, sweetheart. ❜

❛ Oh, this is not happening. You are not my new roommate! ❜

❛ Boom! Revenge is mine. ❜

❛ See? Blood.In the milk container. ❜

❛ This is like, a death threat, or a health code violation. ❜

❛ Well, there’s no denying it’s a little…odd. ❜

❛ How many people you know take Type O with their Chocoa Crunch? ❜

❛ Are you really gonna try and pretend this isn’t a total freak show? ❜

❛ Oh, see, surviving. Yes, I like that plan. ❜

❛ A lot of problems can be solved through good communication. ❜

❛ A lot of problems can also be solved by taking hair and blood samples to figure out exactly what kind of freaky it is you’re dealing with. ❜

❛ You filled a milk container with blood as a prank? ❜

❛ It was food coloring, and…and corn syrup. ❜

❛ That bunched-up little face you make when you’re angry is hilarious, buttercup. ❜

❛ I kept on having the same dream before. ❜

❛ And the darkness is in my eyes and in my throat and I can’t breathe, and … ❜

❛ I-I’m sorry, I can’t be here anymore. ❜

❛ I really hope that it passes over you and I hope it doesn’t touch your face. ❜

❛ Are you really so damaged that you’re incapable of caring about anything? ❜

❛ You’re a child. And you understand nothing. Not about life. Not about this place. ❜

❛ You know what? The sooner you stop playing Lois Lane, the better off you’ll be. ❜

❛ No, I’m not just gonna give up. ❜

❛ So, maybe that’s just how it is, but that does not mean that I have to accept it. I deserve better. [ name ] deserves better. Hell, even you deserve better. ❜

❛ It’s a town hall meeting! Remember your training, we’ve got five minutes! Run, run! ❜

❛ Sometimes a girl’s gotta manufacture her own excitement, you know? ❜

❛ We should be reinstating our night marches. ❜

❛ And then the Zetas piped in with this chant that pretty much sounded like “pizza or death”. ❜

❛ I think we’d make a pretty great team. ❜

❛ Yeah, a team. You and me, absolutely. ❜

❛ Hey, is that fish in your hair? ❜

❛ It is very, very nice of you large, large gentlemen to offer to keep me safe, but as you can see, I’m in my room. Snug as a bug in a rug. So, you’re good to go. ❜

❛ If I decide to go wandering down some dark alleyways late at night, you guys’ll be my first call. ❜

❛ Get the hell out of here before I feed you each other’s spleens. ❜

❛ Dude, she bit me! That is so not cool. ❜

❛ Guess that’s it for the truce, then. ❜

❛ We have been working nonstop and, not that we’re geniuses or anything, but I think we’re really close to a breakthrough. ❜

❛ I think my brain has melted. ❜

❛ Chocolate is comforting in the face of epic failure. ❜

❛ And what kind of thrilling adventure do we find ourselves on now? ❜

❛ This is so childish. You’d think we were still six. ❜

❛ Schadenfreude isn’t very attractive. ❜

❛ But I so had it coming, didn’t I? ❜

❛ God, this age doesn’t understand obligation. It’s like an undersea anchor; impossible to escape. ❜

❛ They’re the ones using dander collected at parties to seed an immense interconnected fungus throughout campus. ❜

❛ Apparently, it’s a communications experiment. Or, maybe a really complicated risotto recipe? I don’t know. ❜

❛ Sorry, I just forgot that I have to be anywhere but here. ❜

❛ Oh, no. You are entirely too sweet ❜

❛ But you’ve got to admit it looks pretty hinky. ❜

❛ Confronting her has historically been about as effective as using bug spray on Voldemort. ❜

❛ Oh, wow. That’s…why are you wearing warpaint? ❜

❛ Come on! Why are the hotties in this room always trying to hurt me?! ❜

❛ That is unfair, okay, cause I’m here out of the, like, bro-ness of my heart, alright? ❜

❛ So, has it even occurred to you that while you’re duking it out, nobody is actually out there protecting anybody at all?! ❜

❛ Ah, it’s mostly just paintballs and anchovies. I’ll talk them down. ❜

❛ It just seemed so real…like…that weird moment of clarity during magic hour or the moment right before a car crash. ❜

❛ I was in my room and there was something in my bed. Something under my bed. This dark, prowling thing without a face. ❜

❛ I tried to pull the blankets over my face to hide, but the darkness started seeping through them like blood, more and more, until I was drowning in it. ❜

❛ Well, dreams are supposed to be strange. Last night I dreamt I was trapped under a bed. ❜

❛ But, just a dream. No reason for all of this…twitchiness. ❜

❛ There is no twitching. There is an absence of twitching. ❜

❛ You know, if it’s really making you so miserable, I could get you something to help you sleep. ❜

❛ That’s uncharacteristically considerate of you. ❜

❛ Yeah, well, I just don’t want you losing it and torching all my stuff. ❜

❛ The results are starting to look profoundly WTF. ❜

❛ I know Silas has some quirks, but I’m pretty sure spontaneous combustion, super strength, and an all-protein diet weren’t options on my roommate form. ❜

❛ Your Snape/Ron fic’s still on the screen, spaz. ❜

❛ It’s a charm or whatever. To help with the bad dreams. ❜

❛ So, in the spirit of all this newfound closeness, maybe you could tell me where you go all night? ❜

❛ Mmm, well, I have to keep some of my secrets. Otherwise, I’ll lose my air of mystery, won’t I? ❜

❛ Oh, you know, I miss my dad, I have papers due. I’m about to be my roommate’s next victim. ❜

❛ Come on. Let’s get you changed into something with a little less whiff. ❜

❛ Everything in your fridge is made of glucose and palm oil. I’m surprised you don’t have scurvy. ❜

❛ As soon as we got there, everyone was leaving the building, and yes, as the sun went down, we started to hear something…skittering. ❜

❛ Before you realized the staircase wasn’t in the same place anymore? ❜

❛ Before we realized we might have gotten a little turned around. And that most of the computer monitors we could see were warning us to “Run. Run now”. And the skittering was getting closer. ❜

❛ We created a flamethrower using a lighter and some mace. ❜

❛ I get a text that says “Come quick. Stuck in Library. Bring fire extinguisher” ❜

❛ Okay, yes! It was stupid, and we’re lucky that you didn’t have to save our souls. ❜

❛ Well, yeah, but we know she’s a vampire. I mean, we’ve known that since the blood in the milk container, right? ❜

❛ You all knew I was living with a vampire and nobody said anything? ❜

❛ She’s not a vampire. There’s no such thing as vampires. She’s a…light-averse octogenarian with extreme hemoglobin deficiency and really good skin. ❜

❛ My roommate is an honest-to-Lestat vampire. How do we stop a vampire? ❜

❛ No! No! We can’t immolate everyone that [ name ] thinks is a supernatural creature. ❜

❛ Well, I have an idea but you are not gonna like it. ❜

❛ Okay, explain to me again how offering yourself as bait to your blood-sucking roommate is not the worst plan ever devised by womankind. ❜

❛ Well, the fact that a terrible plan is our only plan is not really a selling point. ❜

❛ You guys know that I can hear you, right? Maybe instead of peanut gallery-ing you can help me figure out how we trap a vampire? ❜

❛ How do we feel about bear spray? ❜

❛ What would Mina Harker do? …Get bitten. Mina Harker would totally try and act all alluring to the bloodsucking fiend and totally get bitten. Let’s not do that. ❜

❛ Looking at the stars. It’s comforting, to think how small we are in comparison. All the lives we’ve led, the people we’ve been, nothing to that light. ❜

❛ “Black as the pit and terrible as the night was Bagheera”? I always loved that. It’s beautiful. ❜

❛ Behold: Vampire bait! ❜

❛ Don’t you look like a virgin sacrifice? ❜

❛ Parties should be a shimmering moment of possibility, not a collection of brutes around a piece of flaming driftwood. ❜

❛ Feels like more than that. Like something seen underwater from a great distance. ❜

❛ God, I’m a nostalgic idiot tonight. ❜

❛ Maybe I don’t feel like sharing you right now. ❜

❛ God, what am I doing? Naive, provincial girl. Entirely too tightly wound. Such a cliché. I oughta know better. ❜

❛ I oughta know better. And yet…there’s something about you. ❜

❛ Also, I got my head smashed into a table, if anyone cares. ❜

❛ There is not allowed to be some new horrible thing! ❜

❛ You know, at times like these a dude needs to be with his bros. ❜

❛ Well, don’t look at me. I didn’t want to kidnap anyone to begin with! ❜

❛ Definitely not untying angry vampire. ❜

❛ You can’t just keep a hostage in your dorm room! ❜

❛ I”m sure there’s all sorts of things we could figure out through some minimally-invasive probing. ❜

❛ It’ll seem dire once they start your tribunal. ❜

❛ So the sooner you ‘fess us and tell us what’s going on, the better this is gonna go for you because we have got…a spatula, and a stapler, and we are not afraid to use them. ❜

❛ You cannot seriously think we’re dumb enough to believe you’re innocent just because you say so. ❜

❛ Look, if I were really a vampire, would I just stay here, tied up, proclaiming my innocence as some sort of trick? ❜

❛ Yeah. That’s completely exactly what a vampire would do. ❜

❛ Do I strike you as the type of person who plays well with others? ❜

❛ Uh, we’re rehearsing a skit. Uh, yeah, the torture scene from Arsenic and Old Lace. Mmm-hmm, yeah, there’s a torture scene. ❜

❛ I hear they have a great collection of straight-jackets and tranquilizers. ❜

❛ I swear, if one more of your broken-hearted study buddies comes knocking at the door, I’m gonna start spritzing them like cats. ❜

❛ No, no, no! Please don’t die, please don’t die, you stupid vampire! Here, look, I’ve got blood. ❜

❛ The experience of being held captive by a clutch of imbeciles for something I didn’t even have the pleasure of doing is humiliating enough without having you wipe me up like a dribbling child. ❜

❛ Wait, you thought that was me trying to eat you? ❜

❛ Oh…Oh! So, when you were hitting on me, you were really hitting on me? ❜

❛ Could you just stake me now? Cause I think that would be less mortifying than this conversation. ❜

❛ If you want us to trust you, you have gotta tell us your side of the story. ❜

[chasingbutterfliesintoeternity]

tagged by @cafeleningrad in this tag meme: “write the first sentence of one of your works in progress and then tag as many people as you have words.”

(After debating whether to pick the Weimar AU sequel or the next chapter of Carmilla AU, I picked Weimar because it was shorter. It’s still longer though, so I likely will tag less people than words)

“ From experience, Ludwig knew that when things went wrong within their trio of roommates, it was usually Francis’s fault.”

I’m tagging: @lobsterhobi (I know you have like 5 gajillion kpop wips), @salytierra, @aliciasimaginaryfriends (I think I remember you writing something once?), @redbeansoup, @theconvictcolony, @rainbowbuttocks (it was either you or someone else with rainbow in their URL that I met through FFN)

Okay I’m definitely out of people. Umm tag yourself if you write and actually shoot me a message if we’re mutuals so I can tag you in the next meme >-<

[somerpmemes]

Carmilla S3 Starters

Change as needed

“How do you breach a wall? Not with a battering ram, you give them a helpless girl and let them invite their doom right in.”

“Low grade telekinesis is pretty much how it communicates.”

“None of us will be free until she’s dead.”

“But since when do you have a problem with me choosing handcrafts over mortal danger?”

“There’s a difference between learning from your past and letting it rule you.”

“Maybe if we back off, play it safe, we can find ourselves some leverage.”

“Let the mind-numbing boredom begin.”

“We’re not going in there. That is a bad room!”

“Sorry cutie, safety’s never really been a good look on me.”

“As far as defense mechanisms go, it’s been pretty effective.”

“So you think I’m too much of a coward to go in there?”

“My feelings are not squishy.”

“Look, if you’re not ready, you’re not ready.”

“She who jumps into death traps does not get to whine about her butthurt.”

“It is a very well-known fact that I made up just now.”

“It is so disappointing to offer an olive branch only to have one’s efforts rejected.”

“Whatever little plans you’re currently hatching, they’re already doomed.”

“Maybe it’ll make more sense after a good night’s insomniac staring at the ceiling.”

“I’m not doing this to punish you.”

“I’m gonna kill something to eat.”

“Seems healthier than the whole doomed relationship thing.”

“There’s only so much of space and time to hide in.”

“You’ve gone and forgotten who can rip out who’s spleen in this equation.”

“Ugh, can the business speak.”

“Are you feeling sorry for me? That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in ages.”

“You used to be terrifying.”

“Well, the blood loss was minor…”

“I’m sure it’s more complicated than what I’ve seen.”

“For a complete paranoid he is pretty cool.”

“The only thing my getting involved ever did was make it worse.”

“You’re scared, and you’re allowed to be. But no one’s coming to save us.”

“You’ll need to bring me something more substantial than excuses.”

“What good would you do anyways?”

“Guess I just never really imagined it ending this way.”

“You wanna keep me safe, and I get that, but this isn’t your decision.”

“No more gallivanting off on dangerous missions.”

“I am not wearing a biohazard suit again!”

“So I’ll just be anywhere but here.”

“Oh god, this is what an aneurysm feels like.”

“I don’t know what you’re getting all pink and huffy about.”

“Well, sorry my post-traumatic revelation was inconveniently timed for you.”

“Was becoming an expert in extinct languages supposed to be hard?”

“I carefully, stealthily, eviscerate anyone stupid enough to get in my way.”

“You never wanna admit how you feel.”

“You think nobody’s ever kissed me to make themselves feel better?”

“Hi! So glad you found time to care.”

“I can’t believe I thought this was gonna be an actual rescue.”

“Wham bam, totally a plan!”

“Shouldn’t we have known if gods were real?”

“Wow. So I guess that’s been happening.”

“Simpler and less prone to mid-air collision is definitely more our speed.”

“Is there gonna be a lot more of this gloating? Because I’m starting to miss unconsciousness.”

“That place is a cultural Chernobyl!”

“Do you think about what you did? How close you came to hurting yourself?”

“I don’t want you to be so scared for me all the time.”

“Sometimes there is no safe unless you fight back.”

“You really wanna feed that ego any more than you already have?”

“I can talk about being a realist all I want but I have no idea how to do this.”

“Time is shorter than we think.”

“I’m thinking the reason that we’re always in over our heads is that we keep on picking fights that are over our heads.”

“Alright. Here goes some witchcraft.”

“The dead are so many.”

“You’re not gambling your life twice in one night.”

“Ever consider switching sides?”

“I know it probably doesn’t matter but I’m sorry.”

“And when in doubt, aim for the eyes.”

“Okay, do you know how sick I am of this “you’re too young and innocent” spiel?”

“That is turning out to be habit forming.”

“Well, that was about as much fun as dental surgery.”

“You’d be amazed at what you can accomplish with a few elephant tranqs.”

“It’s been a while for me but I’m pretty sure it’s like riding a really violent bicycle.”

“You know, I’d say we’d regret this, but I don’t think any of us are going to live long enough for that.”

“It’d be easier getting a straight answer out of a snake.”

“The universe is huge and it’s arbitrary and uncaring.”

“I love you. Why shouldn’t that be something good?”

“Corporeality suits you.”

“You can keep talking, I'm just gonna be over here imagining your face in one of those masks from Silence of the Lambs.”

“Has love ever sold anything for anyone?”

“You get all set to snap a neck and then nothing? It’s like having the last page of your book ripped out.”

“We can’t afford to be squeamish.”

“Since murdering you might be counter-productive, let’s move on.”

“Alright, let’s get started before I get irrational.”

“One broken thing can’t save another.”

“You know, in general research goes better when the books remain landbound.”

“You’ve got nothing to lose when your heart is buried.”

“Sounds like it’s getting pretty rough for everyone.”

“The end is starting to look pretty nigh.”

“Look, I’m sorry you haven’t figured out a way to science yourself a happy ending.”

“You? You couldn’t stab a swimming pool if your body was the knife.”

“I’m fine with a viable plan A, because I can always go back on the violence.”

“No matter what mistakes you made I’m always gonna think of you as a hero.”

“That involved a lot less bloodshed than I expected.”

“It doesn’t matter how safe I try to make myself, there’s always gonna be disappointment and loss.”

“There’s no sense hiding in the shadows. You might as well come out.”

“Was that call not close enough? Be QUIET.”

“Do you remember that time I hunted you for sport? Good times.”

“I am so sick of everybody speechifying like the enlightenment never happened.”

“Science killed God once already. Let’s see about a sequel!”

“Somewhere in all that anger and darkness you lost all your hope, didn’t you?”

“You don’t get to call dibs on all the self-sacrifice.”

“There are no miracles without sacrifice.”

“Don’t let grief make you hard and cold.”

“We should go get some help. Or at the very least a first aid kit.”

“Tonight I’ll kill a god if I have to.”

[canmom]

What are the most kudos’d fics on AO3?

...thanks to a sudden curiosity. here’s the search page for you to read along. (this search performed on 19/2/17.)

The most kudos’d fic by far is a joke fic consisting entirely of the words ‘I am Groot’ with various formatting. It has nearly twice as many kudos as the next fic on the list, probably as a result of going really viral at some point.

The next four fics are predictably roughly novel-length M/M fics about white guys. I was kind of surprised to see the new Voltron on #3, since that’s a very recent show compared to the other two fandoms, Teen Wolf and Supernatural.

I was pleased to see a F/F fic come next, from that Clexa pairing I’ve heard of mostly in terms of the writers killing of one of the pair and this basically killing their show? It’s a beast of a fic at 170k words. I think there’s perhaps a tendency for large fandoms to have certain really popular mega-fics that everyone reads, which in turn might spawn their own fandoms.

Next up we have the classic a reylo fic. Again, joke fic, went viral.

I’m noticing that movie fandoms tend to have joke fics, TV fandoms tend to have serious fics? This may not hold up in general.

Teen Wolf dominates the first page, which is probably because it is new enough for AO3 to be the main archive, and has one of those wildly popular white dude pairings. Sherlock makes a couple of appearances, though fewer than I’d expect given its infamy on Tumblr.

There’s another couple of Clexa in there which are the only F/F showings. I feel like it’s unsurprising that the most popular F/F fic in fandom is a pairing of two normatively attractive thin white women, so even when fandom does consider women... you know.

The first (and it turns out only) book fandom to show up is a Harry Potter fic, naturally Harry/Draco.

I saw ‘Captain America’ and thought this was time for our first movie serious fic, but no, it’s another short joke fic. The Marvel Cinematic Universe continues to be well represented, primarily in whitedudefic Steve/Bucky.

Finishing the page, some numbers: 8/20 fics on the first page are rated Explicit (one of them being I Am Groot). 10/20 are Teen Wolf Derek/Stiles fic. 3/20 are F/F, all of them The 100 Clexa fic.

Moving more quickly over the second page (which is even more Teen Wolf heavy), the first anime fic is for Yuri!!! On Ice (unless you count Voltron as anime), which figures because it’s the kind of anime that’s popular in English-speaking media-fandom spaces - though again surprised to see a recent fic rank so highly. (But then it’s probably a healthy sign that the AO3 is growing...) This may be the first fic to have people of colour central.

One I’m kind of surprised to see up there is a Miraculous Ladybug fic, which has a memorable description of “There's a thin line between humor and crack and I am snorting that line as we speak.” and yet goes on for more than 150,000 words (+ a series) which is a truly astounding level of dedication to crackfic. It’s also the first fic to centre a het pairing. It’s the 35th most kudos’d fic. I think I underestimate the size of Ladybug’s fandom, perhaps because it’s not as popular in f/f circles?

The first videogame fic is on the third page, a 230,000 word Hanzo/McCree fic for Overwatch. That sounds like considerably more effort than the actual devs put into the game’s backstory.

Continuing to dig through an enormous pile of Teen Wolves, we find fics for Merlin and, soon after, the second F/F pairing on this list, this time from Carmilla - also the first web series on the list at rank 78.

At rank 84, there is a multi-pairing Hobbit/LotR fic that is, at 500,000 words, actually longer than The Lord of the Rings by about 20,000 words. It’s by far the longest fic on the list so far, the tags speak of meticulous research, and it was written for a single sentence kink meme prompt. Tolkien fans, let nobody ever doubt your devotion.

At rank 93, we find the first RPF, about the band One Direction, at 146,000 words. Also, more anime make an appearance: Naruto and Attack on Titan.

First comics fic arrives at rank 109, with Spiderman/Deadpool. It’s a short fic, and given the characters, probably a comedy.

That LotR fic is overtaken by, what else, a 558,500 word Sans/reader Undertale fic at rank 118, in which the reader is the game protagonist’s mother. I admit, that’s not fully what I expected when I saw Undertale in the list. This does bring us our third fourth (since one of those teen wolf fics had background F/F) F/F pairing with Alphyne. Given that Undertale is pretty playful with second person narration and the identity of the player character, I suppose it makes sense its fic might do the same, much as Homestuck fic makes much heavier use of second person. (Speaking of which, where is all that Homestuck fic?)

The first piece of media to show on the list that I’ve never heard of - speaking more to my ignorance of anime than its notability probably - is an anime called Haikyū!!. This turns out to be about volleyball.

For completeness’ sake, Hannibal makes some appearances. As does Skyfall. I’m genuinely surprised Bond movies are that popular honestly. Is there any character less interesting than James Bond?

There’s another Sans/reader epic, this time at 448,000 words. By a different author, in case you were wondering. Apparently there’s a sizable wing of Undertale fans who took some pretty different things from the game than I did? Which is to say, they really want to fuck the pun skeleton. Is this one of those weirdly specific massive offshoot fandoms like Fallout Equestria? In any case, it’s still going strong - the updated date is only four days ago.

OK, I’ve finished page 10, 200 fics deep, that’s enough commentary.

So, what do you write if you desperately want kudos? Ideally, you should be releasing a Teen Wolf Derek/Stiles fic back in 2012. Since that’s no longer possible, a good bet for present times might be be to write for Yuri!! on Ice, Miraculous Ladybug or Voltron. Writing an enormous Sans/Reader fic seems to have some potential, but the effort needed is pretty huge and your competition has been snowballing in popularity for some time. Clexa fandom still seems to be going strong - a lot of wildly popular Clexa fics have been updated within the last few months - but it’s not clear whether that would extend to new fics written now.

More abstractly, there are some obvious strategies: write a joke fic about a popular movie (unlikely to work, but incredibly rewarding when it does), or build up a following with years of updating one massive epic work in a popular or very dedicated fandom. Even if you’re not going for the epic, if you’re not writing a joke fic, then you want one with tens or even hundreds of thousands of words at least.

And of course... if you want to get top-200 popular with F/F, your options are very limited: basically, Clexa or Carmilla. You won’t get very far with het either unless it’s Ladybug or Sans/Reader. I’m not sure how much to read into this - AO3 is just one archive - but it does seem to bear out the thesis that a lot more attention is given to white dude M/M fics than any other kind. Not that that really needed proving.

At risk of reading too much into this, I think this is suggesting the most popular content of the AO3 is changing. The old fics are primarily the stereotypical white dude slash, but the newer fics are exploring such new niches as pale cartoon dude slash, white women femslash, and fucking that damn sexy skeleton at some length. But demonstrating such a trend would take considerably more rigorous investigation. I think @centrumlumina has made some pokes in that direction.

[martxoa]

Whichever of the questions you most want to answer! And number 20 :D. Love your writing dude.

6. First fic/pairing you wrote for? (If no pairing, describe the plot)

Funnily enough, my first fanfic was for Frozen. xD I hated, hated the ending with Hans so much that I wrote a fix it fic where he wasn’t evil...and ended up writing 16 chapters because I got such a good response. 

So I guess Hans/Anna was my first pairing. 

20. 4 sentences from your work that you’re proud of (or, in my case, 4 small snippets in some cases)

“Ell may have used a smile, and Carmilla a scowl, but both of them wore masks” (It Only Takes a Taste, ch. 19).  

“When Alex was six years old, her entire life had changed forever with a single sentence.

(This is your new sister.)

Every moment in Alex's life since then was always compared to how that one sentence made her feel.

But hearing Professor Olsen say ‘you're a wizard, Kara’? That blew it out of the water” (A Magic of Her Own, ch. 1). 

“Laura Hollis did not have the hands of a murderer. They were small and smooth, although she was starting to work a few callouses helping backstage. The paint on her nails from when she’d painted them light blue was starting to chip. No, these were definitely not the hands one would expect to strangle someone to death.

But that didn’t mean Laura wasn’t considering it” (How to Handle a Woman).

“You put an arm around your girlfriend, playing with the ring on her necklace, as you both look at the highway ahead of you, holding promises for the future.

Promises that--maybe--you’ll be able to keep this time” (Those Magic Changes, epilogue).

Lastly, thank you for the compliment! 

Fic Writer’s Ask Meme!

[fanwarriorsunite4life]

So my bad anon, I totally ended up screwing up your ask and shiz by accident but i promise i got it- you wanted me to answer all questions so you got it:

lets get personal.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

Its been varying a SHIT ton over the last two months especially, but ATM i currently love:

Body on Fire by Maggie Rose

Too Many Love Songs by Maggie Rose (notice a trend?)

B-A-B-Y by Carla Thomas

I Don’t Believe You - Pink

Life of the Party - All Time Low

Little Do You Know - Alex and Sierra

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

um, all the people I’m gonna meet at ClexaCon in April! Celebs, other fans, and all! IM SO EXCITED ITS GONNA BE THE BEST FUCKING WEEKEND.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

There isnt a book next to me? theres random magazines on the kitchen table. page 23 is an add for Poise Impressa bladder leakage shit lol

4: What do you think about most?

I kinda really want to plead the fifth on this, but probably two things: how I want to make my work ethic better and make a better difference and how I dont feel I can do that until I get my personal shit together. And how I really want a certain someone to be at my side while I do that so I can be on theirs too. guess thats 3.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

From my lil sis: “Okay, np”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

lmao it depends. If im really exhausted, then i may sleep without a shirt. If im with a SO then I will sleep naked, but I dont ever do that myself unless I’m just that hungover or something. So clothes it is. 

7: What’s your strangest talent?

I honestly dont know lol. erm... let me get back to you on that. Does it count if my left leg is wayyy more flexible than my right? dont ask me why. i have no clue 

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls are a gift to the world. boys are a gift to the world. 

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Not that I am aware of. Fun (not fun) fact: I’m way more afraid of not being spoken of than being spoken of poorly. idk man. if anyone has written a poem or song about me, plz feel free to share

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

holy shit, i have no clue. usually im more of an air drums person. in that case, yesterday. 

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

I HATE SPUDS ON POTATOES SPUDDY POTATOES SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME DONT PLAY 

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

not that i reminder? maybe a coin or something as a kid? its very possible.

13: What’s your religion?

if i identified with anything, it would be an agnostic universalist.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

hanging out with friends and family

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind, but i do have a secret desire to be in front of it. my insecurities currently outweigh my ego in putting myself in front of it, but if someone asked me to do it, i prob would. people just dont ask.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Halestorm. Without a doubt.

17: What was the last lie you told?

oh god. I probably told one while canvassing today. I said i donated to one of the organizations that i represent but i dont. oops. did it to convince people that they are good orgs to donate too (in my defence, they ARE and they are wonderful orgs, i just dont have the money to donate)

18: Do you believe in karma?

yes, but i dont really use karma for consistent rationalization

19: What does your URL mean?

WE ARE ALL FAN WARRIORS OF OUR OWN FANDOMS AND WE SHOULD ALL FUCKING UNITE IN OUR AWESOMENESS

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Greatest weakness? I’m loyal to a fault and will fight for what I want till the bitter end. I’m recently admitting that I have the martyr complex, im pretty sure. Strength? You get me passionate about something, you gain my love, then I’m all in. I’ll work my ass off for whatever that is. 

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Kat barrell and Natasha Negovanlis, as of rn. but i love so many others

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

nope

23: How do you vent your anger?

i dont. i bottle it up and try to avoid it. I’ve been trying to go to the gym tho; that helps when i actually do it. writing helps too, when i do it. Definitely need to find a better way to deal with my emotions. its harder to find time during adult life mayn.

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

comics, poetry books, my own writings, quarter collection... probably something else im not thinking of

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

FACETIME IS WHERE ITS AT

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Yes and no. 

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

Sound I hate? loud city noises, particularly construction shit. Love? ... I hate myself, but the sound of people I love telling me they love me too. SHUTUP ITS A SOUND I SAID NOTHING WHAT

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

Usually its “What if I didn’t fuck up?” or “What if I was reincarnated into something?”

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I wanna believe in ghosts but i cant say i do. Aliens: hell yeah.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Right - kitchen towel and my ECU bag and keys. Left - magazine and table

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

my house’s normal smell. and food i just ate.

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

My own mind at its worst. Or, physical place, probably a mental hospital.

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

I cant say; I’ve never been West. So East for now until I see the West.

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

I like never think about this. um. Zayn is cute?

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

Finding a reason to breathe. Sometimes its family, friends, work, money, power- I think everyone’s meaning of life is different.

36: Define Art.

anything you make to express yourself or help yourself heal.

37: Do you believe in luck?

I kinda have too, I was an athlete.

38: What’s the weather like right now?

dark and cloudy.

39: What time is it?

7:07 pm and im totally running late to pick up my sis. (update - finishing this around 11:11 ooo make a wish cause i had to go get my sis so)

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Yes. Never “crashed” but have hit someone before and have been hit.

41: What was the last book you read?

A poetry book by Lauren Zuniga. That counts.

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

No, but I like the smell of paint. 

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Laur-Laur, jiggles, cheesecake, Lo-ren, bean-bean.. others I dont think I should name i guess

44: What was the last film you saw?

Baby Driver

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Injury? Concussion. worst fucking thing of my life. it really was my fault though.

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

no

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

oh god yes. if you know me, you know i always obsess. right now, carmilla and wynonna earp are my top two. easily.

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

bisexual, preference for women, fight me

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

I honestly dont know

50: Do you believe in magic?

I want too.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

yeah. Well, yes and no. i dont hold a grudge to never have them apart of my life usually, but i never forget what they did to me. never.

52: What is your astrological sign?

Leo

53: Do you save money or spend it?

lol spend. i need to save. so bad.

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

groceries

55: Love or lust?

I know this may shock people that know me, but love. lust isnt any good without it. thats what i would pick if i had to choose, but i rather like the idea they exist together. they can exist separately, but they go best together for me personally.

56: In a relationship?

no, but i hope things will get better.

57: How many relationships have you had?

ones I actually really loved being in wholeheartedly? 1. total? 4. I’d say 5 but im not really counting one of them lol.

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

hell yeah

59: Where were you yesterday?

work and then home feeling down. then i played my video game, Just cause 3, till midnight

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

magazine

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

yes

62: What’s your favourite animal?

kangaroos and zebras

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

... be a huge fucking dork and hope they dont fucking hate me

64: Where is your best friend?

.......the ones talking to me? charlotte, greensboro, greenville, raleigh (NC), texas... the one not talking to me? ... virginia/dc area

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

any of the ones with funny text posts/memes on wynonna earp and carmilla

66: What is your heritage?

im a white asshole with some native american in me. Choctaw. I need to learn more about my family history AND remember it.

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

finishing up playing my name

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

angelface

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA dear fuck yes. duh. oh my fucking god im laughing so hard at this.

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

loyal to a fault and there at your beck and call? yeah. not always the best listener? nah

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

I’m gonna save the fucking dog and my boss can kiss my damn ass.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I’d definitely tell people. At first I wouldn’t know how, and id contemplate if its important enough to tell or not, but eventually i would. id start with those close to me. idk if id want to tell everyone. id want to travel a damn lot with those i love. go new places, try new things, build as many memories as possible. because hell yeah id be afraid. I’m terrified of death and the afterlife; not knowing what happens after we pass. 

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

I think love is built on trust, so love. trust isnt always built on love.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

love on top, beyonce. literally saved my life freshman year of college.

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

F8ME

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

kinda a big one, especially for myself lately. um. I think a great relationship has a good foundation. because in the end, every relationship faces struggles and is gonna be “tested”, for lack of a better word. and what can we turn back to when we feel things arent where they need to be? the foundation. its like a house; if somethings wrong with it, but the foundation is still sturdy, its probably possible and worth fixing. if the foundation is cracked, its more risky; if the foundation is completely crushed, then its probably not a great relationship anymore.

77: How can I win your heart?

Unless you’re the person who currently has my heart right now, you can’t. or if you’re a dog. dogs win my heart. if you’re a dog, congrats. the person who has my heart has to share. sorry, i dont make the rules.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

how is this a question? the craziest fucking people in the world are the most creative. Yes, yes, and more yes.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

this is intense. hmmmm. making a tumblr and going back on it in college. yeah. it led to my last relationship. best damn thing that ever happened to me.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

10 or 11

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

I’d want someone else to write a poem or something about me. i dont want to be buried. cremation bitch (after taking my organs out for science of course)

82: What is your favourite word?

currently i really just like cussing. fuck.

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

the name of my current ex. 

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

We accept the love we think we deserve.

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

i legit am trying to look at my iphone to see what last played in my car, but its being an asshole. I wanna say the last i remember is Craving you by Thomas Rhett. im already listening to wayy more country than i usually do lately.

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

in order: purple, blue, red

87: What is your current desktop picture?

A quote that says: “i know you’re sad, so i wont tell you to have a good day. Instead, I’ll simply advice you to have a day. Stay Alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and dont give up on yourself just yet. it’ll get better. until then, have a day.”

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Can I make an entire building explode? preferably -cough- a building that houses certain gov officials i am not happy with -cough-?

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Any question that I know would upset someone. I’m working on trying to not be honest to a fault. to be honest when need be, and to know when i dont need to be brutally honest. im terrified of being too honest again in general.

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

honestly, scream and be frozen in fear. idk man. wheres my baseball bat when i need it? idc if they arent doing anything, they need to GTFO of my room.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

teleportation

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

holy crap. wow. a half hour? idk. theres a lot. a recent one is the hayley kiyoko concert though. that concert was just absolutely phenomenal. 100/10

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

I wouldnt erase any horrible experience, because they made me who i am and helped me learn what i know. if i hadnt experienced what i experienced, that one thing not happening can change my entire life.

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Honestly, right now, I wouldnt. and i dont think i ever would. i get too starstruck easily and have way too much respect and awe for the celebrities i like. i honestly do think of them as higher beings than me (not gods but like, ya know, out of my league lmao) so nah. now if we become friends and theyre a cuddler? then yes i will SLEEP next to them. SLEEP.

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

i have that crazy urge to travel like a crazy person rn, so if i only had one free plane ticket, i’d go somewhere i otherwise couldnt right now, like italy. i really want to go to italy one day.

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

not that im aware of, but who knows

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

...actually yes! I was severely dehydrated once and my mom had me drink 3 bottles of water back to back. then we got in the car and as she started driving, i got sick, so she pulled over and i sat there getting ready to vomit when a cop pulled over and was like “hey, you okay?” and my mom just explained i was sick, and as he walked over to look at me thats when i threw up ALLLLL that water. he stepped back so quick and was all like “do you want me to call an ambulance?”. it was great. thats how you get rid of cops. throw up in front of them (sarcasm)

98: Ever been on a plane?

Yup! ive flown to new hampshire and kansas before.

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

probably some long ass rant about how fucked up the world is and how we need to turn around our governments and get them to work back for the people, not for fucking corporations and capitalism, or the capitalistic aspects of socialism.