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mrchiipchrome · 1 year

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When Y/n Met Alessia

W.C.- 13,8 k

Warnings: angst

A/n: I don't have all the life expericence for this but oh well.

June 26th 2017

Stepping into the airport, the cool air a contrast to the uncommon but not unwelcome air of the hot and sticky June day. It wafts over your exposed skin, arms and legs free for the world to look at as you avoid the early morning traffic in the large London airport.

You drag your suitcase behind you in a hurry as you look for gate 23, flight towards the so-called “land of dreams” waiting for you to board it. This time last year, you were looking at the mail telling you that you had the chance to play football in America on a full ride scholarship and further your ability to play the game.

The cheapest flight you had been able to find was one that required a stopover in North Carolina before taking you to LA, and UCLA. You didn’t mind the extra time it took to get to your final destination, always able to entertain yourself one way or another.

Finally arriving at the gate, you sit down for a breather. To the left of you there was an older gentleman and to the right was one of the most gorgeous people you’d ever seen, the girl taller than most with blinding blond locks and glittering blue eyes able to captivate any soul.

“Gate 23 boarding now! Gate 23 boarding now!” You hear over the intercom, reminding you of whenever you’d travel with your team as a youngster. Loud sniffling from your right has you looking up and towards the young woman, obviously saying goodbye to her family standing around her. You stop looking at them when you once again hear the boarding call, standing up and walking to where you get your tickets scanned.

Sitting down in the comfortable seat beside the window, you put your bag under the seat in front of you before clicking the seatbelt into place and leaning back in the chair. Louis Armstrong’s strong vocals flow through the headphones placed on your head as you take a moment to relax after the hectic morning. You feel the shaking of the seat as another person sits in the seat beside you, their soft arm grazing yours as she accidentally kicks your shin.

Peeking out one eye, you see the gorgeous blonde from before in the seat beside yours, the young girl sighing as she runs a hand over her face. Deciding to start a conversation, you quickly think of a point of conversation. You pull your headphones down around your neck, the music still playing loudly and providing a soundtrack to the whole scene.

“Grape?” Holding out the bag of grapes to the stranger, who looks at you with a rather astonished look on her face. As expected, she shakes her head and you simply shrug, popping one right in your mouth and chewing on it for a second before spitting the core back into the bag.

“So, tell me the story of your life.” You’re nothing if not persistent, and right now you were persistent on speaking with the girl who seemed about your age. Looking on as she sputters and throws out different filler words, you continue to eat your grapes.

“We’ve got 12 hours until we reach North Carolina” You add on to your earlier comment.

“The story of my life? It won’t get us very far, that’s why I’m going to North Carolina.” There was a slight hesitance to her voice as she vaguely told you about her plans. You’re quick with your response.

“For something significant to happen to you? Pray tell, what?”

“I’m on a scholarship to play football, so that’s what I’ll do.” She snaps back.

“So you can go and play professionally later?” It wasn’t really phrased like a question, rather a statement.

“Yes, if I get the right opportunities then I will.” Her mind goes to a different place for a second, while you suddenly feel that drop of the stomach associated with rollercoasters. You hadn’t even noticed the plane moving, too caught up in your conversation with the pretty stranger.

“Suppose that doesn’t happen, suppose you don’t get those opportunities and instead of playing football you live out the rest of your life behind a desk until you die one of those tragic deaths that no one notices until the stench of death becomes overbearing, what happens then?” You knew it was quite harsh, but it was something you had to live with as a footballer, the fact that you might not get those opportunities that someone else might get.

The girl looks at you for a second, surprise clear in her expression before it turns slightly sour. She doesn’t even bother answering you as she puts on her own headphones and picks up a book, not paying attention to you anymore. You shrug as you return your headphones to your ears although keeping one off your ear, still eating your grapes.

“You have a dark side” Comes from the pretty blonde next to you, making you snap your head up in her direction.

“What?” She wasn’t expecting you to hear what she said as she looks towards you with a deer-in-the-headlights kind of look.

“A…A dark side. I said that you have a dark side.” Your eyes express a certain kind of playfulness unable to be expressed by your tone.

“What a peculiar thing to say to a stranger. Nonetheless, it’s not like you’re wrong, the dark side is what draws them to me.” Your tone was full of mirth as you took in her closed off stature.

“Draws who to you?”

“The lasses, of course!” She looks at you skeptically, like she doesn’t really believe you before giving you a small smile. You shoot one back at her, feeling like she’s opening up slightly.

“Why don’t you have a dark side? I bet that you’re one of those people who dot their I’s with small hearts.” Somehow, it’s like the statement of her personality makes her open up fully to you.

“Hey! I’ve got just as much of a dark side as anyone.” The smile on her face gives you the indication that she in fact does not have the proclaimed dark side, instead being a ball of sunshine.

“Oh really? D’you want to know what I do when I buy a new book?” You don’t even give her time to answer before telling her. “I read the last page first so that if I die, I atleast know the ending. That, is what you call a dark side, my sweet stranger.”

There is a pause in the conversation as she thinks over what you’d just said, before she answers you with just as much confidence.

“Well that doesn’t mean you’re deep or anything, you know? So what, I’m a happy person-”

“Me too” She glares at your interruption before she continues. “And frankly, I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.”

“No, you’re too busy being happy to. Do you ever think about death? More than just a fleeting thought.”

“Yes” She responds, albeit a little nervously.

“Sure you do, pretty girl. I spend hours thinking about-” The footballer besides you blushes as you call her pretty girl, which you make sure to take note of, the reaction making it all more fun for you.

“That’s what makes you such a great person?” She scoffs as she interrupts you like you did not too long before.

“No but when it happens, I’ll be prepared for it, unlike you. That’s my point”

“So you’re ruining your life in anticipation for an event which could be years, millenniums away?” Her tone indicates that she thinks your thought process is ridiculous and with that she turns back to her book.

After dozing off for a few hours, you awake to the sound of the flight attendant asking you what meal you wanted. As soon as you get a hold of the meal, you dig into it, being hungry after your little nap.

“So, pretty girl, is there any chance for me to take you out for coffee?” You speak up between bites, the airplane food not really to your liking as you frown in slight disgust.

“What?” The fact that she isn’t laughing at you or optionally throwing her water in your face is a good sign to you.

“A coffee? You know the hot beverage you drink?”

“I know what coffee is, you moron” Holding your hands up beside your face in an ‘I’m innocent’ gesture, you don’t feel hurt by the remark in the slightest.

“So, coffee?” She runs her hand down her face once again before answering you.

“We are just going to be friends, okay?” She sounds serious, but you can’t help the small sting that comes with the rejection not really used to being rejected. Yet you slap on an unbothered tone when you say;

“Great, friends. The bestest of friends.”

The two of you eat in silence for a second before you once again interrupt it.

“Y’know, two attractive people can never be friends, which means that we can’t be friends”

“What? Why not?” She responds just as quickly.

“I don’t want you to think that I’m coming on to you or anything, but it’s just the attraction that comes between them” Alessia can feel herself losing brain cells as she listens to your commentary of friendship.

“That’s not true. I have a multitude of attractive friends who aren’t attracted to me.” Her irritation just serves as another reason to spur you on as you continue to babble on about attraction and how everything is made up. Under the short time you’ve spent together, she’s managed to learn how to tune you out and let your voice be part of the background.

“...And that’s why you can’t be friends with hot people as a hot person.”

“Mhm, yeah whatever you say.” You can tell that she’s tired of your constant babbling so you decide to just shut up and listen to your music. That leads to you once again falling asleep, although this time you sleep until the end of the long flight.

Coincidentally, it’s Alessia who has to wake you from your deep slumber, the woman muttering apologies as she accidentally hits you slightly too hard and making you wince. As you rise from your seats, you pick up the bag that you left before following Alessia out the plane.

You give her a small smile as she says goodbye, starting to walk away from you and effectively your life. That is when you realize that you hadn’t even introduced yourself before jumping right into the deep talk.

“HEY! Pretty girl, wait up!” She slows her steps when she once again hears your voice echoing through all the chaos, waiting for you to catch up to her. She hears rapid footsteps coming towards her as you seemingly run as fast as you can.

“I never caught your name.”

“Alessia, that’s my name” Trying it out on your tongue, you decide that you adore the name she was given.

“Y/n, pleasure to meet you.”

And with that you went your separate ways, at least for a little while.

3 months later

After a good start to the college season you had been called up to the U20’s squad along with a multitude of people. So after packing enough clothes for a week, you set off back to your home country of England along with a certain forward you’d been keeping your eye on.

After another gruesome couple of hours sitting on a plane, this time next to a screaming baby and a grumbling old man, you finally arrive at the London airport where you’re later picked up by a staff member. The drive towards the hotel is a relatively short one, and when you step out of the car you suddenly feel as though you don’t belong there. The hotel is big, much larger than any hotel you’d ever been to before with tens of different floors and a humongous lobby.

You get greeted by the concierge as soon as you walk in the doors, the place having been a drop off center for the footballers. Looking around the lobby, trying to recognise a few faces you suddenly feel a presence beside you.

Your eyes flit over to the left of you as you see one of your childhood friends from the Arsenal youth program talking with the gorgeous girl from the plane, Alessia the North Carolina footballer. You decide to slide up to the pair subtly, not interrupting their conversation as they laugh and talk. There is a pause as Lotte finally looks in your direction, gasping as she quickly takes you into her hold for a tight hug until she excitedly pulls away, ready to introduce you to one of her other best friends. Looking directly into Alessia’s breathtaking eyes for the first time since that flight, you decide to pretend to not recognise the girl who’d you kept up with even through all the time apart.

“Alessia, this is my childhood best friend Y/n Y/l/n, we played together on the Arsenal youth squad. And Y/n, this is Alessia Russo, we play together for UNC” Lotte introduces you to each other and you see as a flash of recognition passes her eyes, remembering you from the plane ride. Smiling, you stick your hand out for her to shake as a gesture of politeness.

“Lovely to meet you Alessia Russo, I would stay to talk but I’ve got to talk to one of the coaches so I’ll see you both later.” The woman clutches your hand in a tight grip before letting go so that you can walk away from the two of them.

You feel a slight sense of déjà vu as you walk away from them, your suitcase rolling behind you like it had done the first time you’d met. Overhearing part of their conversation even after you’ve walked away, you hear Alessia tell Lotte about your behavior on the plane 3 months before.

Eventually, after talking with your coach to get a clear picture of how camp was going to go, you are informed of the meeting taking place in a couple of minutes meaning that you had to run to get there in time. Barging in through the doors, the only open seat around the large circular table is one between a brunette girl who’s name you hadn't learnt yet and Lotte. Much to your luck, Alessia is sitting next to the girl who looks up as you take your seat beside her. The head coach jumps right into the meeting when everyone is present, explaining which countries you would play and a couple other things you’d already known about from your earlier talk.

Leaning your body forward to look around that of the girl’s, you try to get Alessia’s attention with a quick but quiet enough whisper.

“Alessia, psst, Alessia, don’t ignore me.” As the last syllable falls from your lips she snaps her head towards you harshly and you’re surprised that she doesn’t get whiplash from the sudden movement.

“What?” Her whisper is albeit a bit louder than yours, attracting the attention of the footballers around you as they watch the interaction.

“How’s life at UNC?” You reply back as she rolls her eyes dramatically, obviously annoyed by you talking to her. Before she can say anything, the brunette girl between you cuts in with her own question.

“Oh, do you two know each other?” She shifts her attention between you and Alessia, while you gesture for Alessia to answer.

“We sat together on a plane to America for 12 hours a couple of months ago” She grumbles out quietly, not wanting to pull more attention from the girls around her.

“Would you two like to sit together?” The girl offers.

“Yes” “No” Even with Alessia’s no, the girl gets up from her seat as you trade places subtly.

“So how’s life been at UNC? Have you found love yet?” You ask her excitedly, nosy and ready for some insider information.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but yes I have a girlfriend” Her tone is nonchalant as she speaks, her gaze turned forwards so as to not give you any indication of what she’s thinking at that exact moment. After a few seconds of silence, you replicate her as you turn your gaze towards the front of the room.

“How about you then? Have you found someone?” Like a parrot, she repeats your earlier question.

“Yes, I met a lovely girl the first week of being there.”

“You found a girl who actually likes you? I guess every dog gets its day” Your mouth drops open in shock at her comment.

“First of all, rude. Secondly, I’m a terrific lover, just ask your mother.” The stunned silence was interrupted by the coach clapping his hands to signal the end of the meeting. Alessia stands up abruptly, picking up her luggage and walking out the room without another word.

You quickly do the same, picking up everything and walking out the room at a fast pace to be able to catch up with the tall girl. Thankfully, your own legs were pretty long so it didn’t take long for you to be walking side to side with the blonde girl who was visibly annoyed at you. You laugh slightly as you speak up to get her attention;

“Hey wait up pretty girl, I’m sorry, sometimes my mouth moves faster than my brain can comprehend. How about you let me take you out for dinner as an apology?”

She sends you a glare at the suggestion, making you put one of your hands up in an ‘I’m innocent’ gesture before you turn back to the conversation.

“As friends of course” You gesture wildly with your hands to prove your point whilst she just continues to glare forward.

“I thought two attractive people couldn’t be friends” She quotes your exact words back to you, and seeing the opportunity to tease her even more, that is exactly what you do.

“So you think that I’m attractive then?” Out of the corner of your eye, you see how she splutters, trying to think of a reply before you decide to save her from the misery you created. But she seemingly gathers herself before you could speak the words on your mind, the girl obviously having some sort of resentment towards you by now.

“You’re insufferable, you know” After that she picks up her pace, walking away from you and effectively the conversation. It wasn’t like you didn’t know that you could be a bit unruly and insufferable sometimes, but that didn’t calm the sting any less.

You leave the blonde girl alone for the rest of camp, not wanting to upset her even more than you already had. When you return to America it’s with the promise of getting called up more and a slightly bruised ego.

5 years later…

“She broke up with me, said she fell in love with her co-worker. I don’t know what I did wrong and it’s not fair that she gets to go and be happy with someone else when I wasted five fucking years of my life on her” You pace the length of the living room of your teammate’s apartment in Frankfurt where you were staying for a bit. As soon as your girlfriend - now ex - had revealed that she was in love with someone other than you, you packed up all your necessities before leaving the apartment you had called home for the last two years. At first, the only emotion coursing through your veins was sadness and genuine misery but that quickly transformed into rage at how she possibly could have done this to you.

Now you weren’t really sure what to feel, rambling to your absolute best friend since freshman year of college who never failed to lift your mood. After the uncertainty of the 2020 college season, you did as many other internationals did and signed a contract with a club in Europe who could ensure top level football. That’s where Eintracht Frankfurt came in, signing you before any other club could even offer you a contract.

After spending the last two years in the German league and your girlfriend breaking up with you, you needed new scenery and people to surround you with. Your preferred destination was that of your home country, after experiencing your first major tournament at home you quickly realized that very few things could compare to winning on home turf. And with your contract ending later in the season, you were pretty sure that you would get your homecoming soon.

But until that, you’d have to play in Germany seeing as the transfer window was still a few months away.

“Jess, honestly I just want to go back to England and play. This city reminds me way too much of Heather, and it’s painful” The pure fatigue expressed through your voice over the crackling connection of her phone has Jessie worrying for your wellbeing.

“I think that it would be good for you to do what you want. I’m not going to tell you to stay or leave, do what feels right for you.” You stay quiet for a second, catching a glimpse of the clock situated near the entrance makes your eyes widen and you rush to apologize for taking up so much of her precious time before hanging up.

Slapping your hands over your face and sighing, you sit down on the couch while feeling the tears well in your eyes again. The emotional toll the last few days had on you put you right to sleep, unaware of the similar situation in your home country involving a certain blonde forward.

4 months later

Getting off the plane from Frankfurt to Manchester was a relief, even with the short duration it was a nightmare. A toddler seemed to think that the back of your seat was the perfect target for his feet to hit over and over, the young couple in front of you had decided to argue the entire time and give you a pounding headache, and to put the final nail in the coffin there was a horrible whistling sound that even your headphones couldn’t drown out. So to say that you were slightly regretting your decision to go on loan to the red devils was an understatement.

Instead of going directly to the hotel you would stay at while your living arrangements were in order, you were on your way to the training grounds for the mandatory signing pictures with the higher ups and to meet the team.

It was tedious to have to stand with all the men and pose for signing pictures but alas, it is part of the job, but what happens after that is what you’re looking forward to. Meeting your new team is usually a time where you get to know new people and a time of fun that you always take advantage of, which is exactly why when you stand beside the older man waiting for practice to end, you are practically bouncing off your feet in anticipation.

The whistle shrieking loudly wakes you from the slight daydream you were experiencing and you finally exit the tunnel behind the executive of the club. You can hear a faint introduction and how Marc tells the team about the arrival of a new player, trying to amp up the excitement of your new teammates.

As you come into view you hear a shout of excitement and you quickly brace yourself for the imminent hit of the Spanish girl’s body. Still, when her body slams into yours it knocks the air out of your lungs. She wraps her legs around your waist as you wrap your arms tightly around her midsection so that she wouldn’t fall.

“I can’t believe you’re here, I mean what are you doing here?” Her sweet accented voice expresses in disbelief, not really believing you were there.

“Onita, I’m the new player.” She releases her koala hold on you as she jumps down to the ground, but she doesn’t let you go too far before she wraps her arm around your waist while eagerly pulling you towards the rest of the team, who were watching the interaction with faces full of confusion.

Ona and you had a rather peculiar history, you’d met when you were vacationing in Spain when you were 7 years old. The two of you hit it off directly and that led to your entire vacation being spent with the Batlle family, culminating a great friendship between your families that led to you spending your summers in Spain. If you had international tournaments during the summer, then both you and Ona would take the same plane back to Spain, even if one of you had been knocked out earlier in the tournament. Her family was your family and vice versa, there was no denying how close the two of you were.

You timidly wave to the large selection of women before your rather lanky frame is pulled into yet another grip, this time into the strong grip of one Mary Earps who is clearly happy to see you there. Soon enough, you’re surrounded by the women in red asking question after question, to which you give answers.

Alessia hangs back, letting her teammates swarm you as she sits down on the grass pitch. She picks at the grass, pulling it out of the ground and twisting it between her long fingers as she waits for the team to be done. Eventually she hears everything quiet down as they vacate to the locker room to change and shower.

She hears the muted sound of you sitting down next to her, more flopping down onto the ground than sitting down you suppose. Alessia doesn’t give you any attention as she continues her minstations to the ground beneath her, although one question peaks her mind.

“How do you and Ona know each other?” With swift attention, you look at her before answering with a question of your own.

“The long or short version?” Your eyes stay glued to her side profile as she thinks, and your eyes ultimately meet hers when she turns her head in your direction.

“Long” With that you start telling the story, gesturing vividly with your hands to emphasize events and points of the story.

When the team finds you, you’re both laughing despite the cold settling deep into your bones, and they decide not to disturb you. If they’re being honest, they hadn’t seen Alessia that happy and at peace since she had been broken up with.

At last, the two of you notice how dark it suddenly had become and as you look at the time displayed on your phone, you’re quick to get up. Holding out your hand, you pull Alessia back up to her feet, telling her the time and seeing as her eyes widen exponentially.

“I’m so sorry for taking up so much of your time” Her gaze softens as she looks up at you with her big doe eyes.

“Don’t be, I had fun. Now come on, I’ve got to change and then I’m taking you home” You open your mouth to protest, but she gives you a stern look that tells you she’s not going to change her mind.

A soft smile grazes your face as you stand outside of the locker room, waiting for the girl you had been so desperate to befriend, the girl who hadn’t given you the time of day during all the camps since the one in late 2017.

“You ready to go?” You just nod your head instead of giving her a verbal response, not trusting your voice after you’d seen the way her eyes shifted around your face and how her wet hair was spayed out over her shoulders.

“So how’s the girlfriend?” She asks you, the question innocent in its own right, but it digs up some emotions you’d rather not deal with at that exact moment. So instead, you push them down, telling her about the break up.

“She broke up with me, something about falling in love with one of her co-workers. I wasted 5 years of my life with her, but it doesn’t matter anymore because I’m over her. How about you? How’s it going with the missus?” Alessia’s heart broke for you, spending 5 years of your life with someone only for them to betray your trust and fall in love with someone else while still in a relationship.

“Oh, we broke up. Grew apart, and it just didn’t work out the way we wanted.” Somehow, even after the revelation of your relationships ending the mood wasn’t dampened as she drove you to the hotel you were staying at and waved goodbye with a promise to pick you up for training in the morning.

—-

“No, the order goes like this nr 1 the original Die Hard, then Die hard 2, after that it’s Die hard 4, Die hard 3 and last of all Die hard 5. It’s the only acceptable order to rank the movies in, I can’t believe how much you butchered your list.” You exclaim as you’re exiting her car, closing the door with a little more power than usual as the two of you march towards the training grounds side by side. Alessia had been over at your apartment the last few days for your movie nights, and you had been watching Die Hard together which led to this exact discussion.

“What!? The second Die Hard movie is superior, it beats the first one by a noticeable margin.” She notices the offended look on your face as she continues. “It has more suspense, better bad guys, better storyline, superior cinematography and is just an all around better movie” By now, you’ve entered the locker room as she argues her point.

“No, you’re all wrong-”

“Girls, girls, leave your nerdy arguments outside of this locker room please.” Ella slid in between the two of you, looking much smaller beside two of the tallest players on the team. She reaches her arms up to wrap around you and Alessia's shoulders, nearly hanging off the ground as you and Alessia lower your heads slightly. You look at her quickly, communicating with her through your eyes as you both come to an agreement.

“Die Hard 5 is the worst one in the series, right?”

“Right” She responds.

—-

A morning without training meant that you and Alessia went out for breakfast together. You walk to the small local coffee shop together, talking and laughing along the way. After ordering your small breakfast sandwich and a coffee, you sit down outside to wait for Alessia to order whatever she wants.

The little bell above the door rings when Alessia exits and walks over to you, she sits down in the chair opposite your own. You sit in a comfortable silence for a while, waiting for the waiter to bring you the breakfast you’d ordered. When it finally arrives, you don’t wait a second before biting into the fresh bread.

“Lessi, when are you going back out on the market? I mean it’s been a couple of months since the break up, are you ready?” She sighs at the mention of her love life, knowing about the date Ella had set up for her later that day.

“Ella set me up with a blind date later tonight, so I can only hope that she chose a good one for me” That usual teasing look was back on your face as you tease her relentlessly for her date.

But when you’ve finished teasing her, you fix her with a soft smile, promising to help her get ready for the date itself. A decision you later regret as she looks between 2 shirts who in your opinion, looked the exact same.

“Less, they look the same. Choose one of them and move on, it’s not that hard. If you don’t hurry you’re going to be late.” She finally decides on the one she’s holding in her right hand and as she puts it on your jaw is on the floor, the girl in front of you looking nothing short of incredible.

“Well, what do you think?” She asks, sounding like she’s speaking under water as you just look at her, not uttering a word. She twists her rings around her fingers nervously as she awaits your reaction, but based on how you were looking at her she could only assume that she looked at least okay.

“You look…incredible, the woman lucky enough to get a date with you should be happy.” Her beaming smile and slight blush tells you everything needed to be known.

“Now, come on, you have to go or you’re going to be late. Be sure to tell me all the details later.” She blushes slightly before she rushes out her front door without closing it, already knowing you have a key to lock it all up behind her.

“So Lessi, how’d the date go? Was she everything you dreamed about and more?” You teased as she arrived at the training center the morning after her date. You had walked to training that day, not wanting to bother the blonde girl after her date.

“Horribly, she couldn’t stop talking about her ex and then she expected me to pay for everything. I don’t think I’ll ever find love again.” She exclaims dramatically, waving around with her hands before dropping them back to her side. You giggle slightly at her over dramatic behavior before you cut in with your own suggestion.

“Well, how about you join me for a double date? I have a friend who I think would be perfect for you.” At first, the girl beside you feels the need to decline the generous offer before she thinks of her friend who she’d consider your perfect match.

“Deal” She reaches her hand out for you to shake as to close a deal.

—-

Walking into the restaurant with your friend by your side, you look for Alessia’s familiar blond hair which you find after a second of looking. You walk over to where she’s sitting with her friend, her friend who seems more interested in your friend than you. The seat beside Alessia is open and you push your friend towards it, while you sit down in the chair opposite her.

“Less, this is Olivia. Olivia, this is Alessia.We play together for United.” You introduce the two women to each other as they look each other up and down, trying to see if the other matches their type. Alessia soon realizes that it’s her turn to introduce you to her friend.

“Y/n/n, this is Ava. Ava, this is Y/n. Ava, you and Y/n studied the same thing at uni.” Alessia tries to get you and her friend talking before trying to engage with Olivia.

“Oh, really? What did you study?” You turn towards the girl while speaking to her, curious about her major when she was in school. She shoots you an awkward thin lipped smile before telling you.

“Uhm, I had a major in journalism and a minor in sports science” The girl tells you, albeit a bit nervously.

The 4 of you around the table converse with each other the rest of the meal, bonding slightly and seeing the different things you have in common. But when the desserts come out is when the real party starts. You’ve all had a couple glasses of wine, to the point where you could be considered somewhat tipsy and conversation is flowing nicely. Your date, Ava, seems more interested in moving her dessert around on her plate than talking to you, talking at all. That is until the local paper is named, more specifically the send-in segment of the paper where you could send in all types of questions to be answered. You didn’t even know that anyone actually read the physical copies of the paper anymore.

“I read that for a successful date you need spontaneity, discovery and quality time.” You overhear Olivia tell Alessia, who nods diligently instead of responding. Out of the corner of your eye you see how Ava perks up at what was said.

“Wait, where did you read that?” She asks, making Olivia look at her instead of the fishtank behind you.

“In the local paper, why?” Olivia responds confusedly, not knowing where the conversation was going.

“No way! I wrote that” Ava exclaims excitedly, happy that someone was interested in her work.

Alessia and you give each other a look as the women beside you jump into talking, leaving the two of you out of the conversation. It goes on for a while before you all decide to wrap up the date, paying and walking out the door with your respective dates by your sides just all talking. Both you and Alessia pull your friends away to separate corners of a building after walking for a while, you and Olivia going to the left corner while Alessia and Ava go to the right.

“Are you planning on calling Ava?” She quickly asks you, hope present in her eyes, hope that spreads around her entire face when you shake your head no.

“But, just restrain from doing it tonight. Alessia just got broken up with and she’s still a little sensitive, y’know.” You respond, but your words just seem to go in one ear and out the other. Across the walkway, Alessia holds the same conversation with Ava.

“What do you think of Olivia?” She asks eagerly, Alessia seeing her friend's excitement.

“Meh, not really my type. I probably wouldn’t go on another date with her, but if you want to then it's totally fine. I’m just a little worried about Y/n, make sure you don’t reject her now, she’s going through a kind of rough patch you know.”

“Yeah okay, I understand.” She responds as the two groups join together again.

“Well, I don’t really feel like walking anymore, I’ll call a taxi.” Olivia waves her hand, much like they do in New York and luckily for her, a cab stopped for her.

“I’ll go with you” Ava exclaims as they cram into the back of the taxi together.

You laugh at their antics, slipping your fingers between Alessia’s as you pull her along with you.

“Come on, I’ll walk you home.” You and Alessia talk all the way back to her house, stumbling over your own feet a couple of times before reaching your final destination. You walk her up the steps before looking on as she opens her door.

Turning away, you start your descent down the steps you hear Alessia call out your name, and you turn back to her as she’s beckoning you over. When you finally reach her she puts her hands on your neck, pulling you in for one of the softest kisses you’ve ever received, from the best pair of lips you’d ever felt against your own.

“Bye Y/n”

—-

Two weeks later

You and Alessia were standing in the middle of the everything store as you called it, looking for the perfect present for one of your teammates birthdays. Your arm is slung around her shoulders as you look at the multitude of different stuff littered around the store.

Your eyes catch those of a woman standing in the middle of the store, her eyes displaying hints of recognition as she stares at you. The man beside her follows her gaze and his eyes widen exponentially at the glare he’s shot. It wasn’t like you didn’t recognise the girl you’d been dating for over 5 years and the man she’d apparently fallen in love with while still with you.

Alessia notices the lull in conversation and it makes her follow your gaze until it lands on the now approaching couple. Your fight-or-flight response kicks in as soon the woman stands a couple of steps in front of you. Alessia looks on in question as you refuse to meet her gaze, instead just looking at the woman you once called your own.

“Hi Y/n” She says and the sound of her voice revolts you to a point where you barely can hold back a giggle of disgust from escaping your throat. But despite your vivid reaction, the blood still drains from your face as you continue to look at the girl who broke your heart all those months ago and where she stands in the new town you now call home.

“Hello Heather, what are you doing in Manchester?” Your voice is strained and out the corner of your eye you see Alessia’s confused expression ease slightly.

“Oh, William and I are just out here visiting family to tell them we’re expecting.” Heather turns to her side, showing off the bump that came with being pregnant.

“Expecting what? A fucking demon? Well, have fun with that and one more thing, I never want to see you again so bye” You send them one last glare and a very sarcastic glare as you pull Alessia with you out of the store and down onto the sidewalk. You clutch her hand tightly as you move your quickest to get as far away from the store that held Satan and Satan’s spawn in it. You’ve reached the park where the old people reside when Alessia starts to call your name.

“Y/n. Y/n. Stop, we need to talk about this instead of running away from it.” She tells you, trying to get you to slow down. When you don’t, she pulls her hand away from your grip making you look at her.

“Who was that?” Alessia’s tone is as soft as a feather when she asks you, not wanting to spook you. When she sees the light sheen of tears covering your eyes, her heart breaks.

“That…was my ex” You confirm her earlier thoughts before continuing, “Fucking hell, I can’t believe her. How fucking insensative can you be to fucking do that to someone? Demented psycho.” You speak mostly to yourself.

“Hey, maybe we should go somewhere else for this conversation. There is a time and place for this, and it’s not now nor here.” She concludes.

“Well, next time I run into my ex I’ll make sure to schedule it and make sure it’s before your next lesson.” You say rather loudly, and make a few lingering couples look at you from their park benches.

“Hey! Don’t take this out on me, it’s not my fault that you ran into your ex.”She tells you in a more intense tone than before.

“I think I’m pretty entitled to throw anger pretty much everywhere, especially when I’m told how to live my life by Miss happy-go-lucky.” You know that your anger is directed at the wrong person but when you’ve started, it’s hard to stop. Alessia exhudes annoyance as she continues the conversation.

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” She asks you harshly, like she’d done in the beginning when you’d met each other.

“It means that you’re never upset! Over anything! Nothing bothers you, not even your ex.” Her expression shifts into one of anger at your words.

“You’re insufferable” She turns her heel, ready to walk away from where you stand with your arms crossed loosely across your chest, but that’s before she hears your apparent question.

“So you’ve told me! But tell me this, if you’re so over your ex then why do you not go out with people? Meet your match.” She stops in her tracks and looks back at you, fury prevalent in her gentle baby blue eyes.

“I go out with people” She exclaims angrily, walking towards you in the park. Her finger digs uncomfortably into your chest.

“Oh, you do? How many people have you been on a date with since your ex? Excluding our double date, the number is pretty low right?” Her finger digs deeper into your sternum, to the point of it hurting as she becomes even more infuriated. You see as her eyes gain their own light sheen of tears. That’s when you realize you’ve gone too far, never wanting to make the blonde girl you liked oh so much cry. But in your own misery you managed to cross that fragile line, going too far yet again. You know what they say, ‘misery loves company’ and this time your misery succeeded.

“What does that have to do with anything?” She questions, moving closer to you, so close that you can feel her breath wafting across your face. “Going on dates has no correlation to getting over someone, I can’t believe you sometimes” She shakes her head as a tear slips out the corner of her eye and tracks down her cheek, where you wipe it off with your thumb softly.

“Are you finished now?” The soft look is back in your eyes as you look at the sweet girl in front of you.

“Yes” She responds shakily, her voice matching her nervous expression.

“Can I say something?”

“Yes” She repeats.

“I’m sorry” You tell her, pulling her shaking form into your arms and comforting the shorter girl. “I’m so sorry, my love”

—

A week later, both you and Alessia had been invited over to your skipper’s house for team bonding. This time around it consisted of playing board games with the entire team. At the start of the night, Katie had the entire team get into groups of 2, you and Ona pairing up while Alessia and Ella paired up. Much to your ‘surprise’, Ona and you dominated every game. Monopoly, yes. Twister, definitely but you had been sat in quite the awkward situation with Alessia when you had to basically lay on top of her. Uno, you and Ona had always paired up for the game ever since you were 8 and you’d been winning ever since.

“Alright, gather around, gather around we’re going to play pictionary. Alessia, you’re up so take a card and draw.” Katie says as you all look towards the blue eyed beauty. She walks up to the drawing board, card in hand as the time starts. She draws different unintelligible squiggles and shapes, the seemingly randomly placed lines not making much sense. The time soon runs out and without anyone able to guess what it was she had drawn, Alessia sighs defeatedly.

“Come on, it’s a pirate in his ship” She throws out her explanation haphazardly and a few people around the room let out ‘ahhs’ in recognition of the now understandable picture.

“Y/l/n, your turn” Katie calls out for you to go up to the board placed in the middle of the room. You stand up taking a card from the holder, before you pluck the pen from Alessia’s hand as you send her a teasing wink. Her face darkens exponentially with the blush that covers it, breaking your eye contact as she looks away from you.

“Watch and learn how it’s done, love” You tell her cockily, starting to draw as soon as it’s called out that the timer has started. Within a few seconds Ona had been able to correctly guess what you had started to draw, your scattered teammates claiming the two of you cheated. As you sit back down in your previous seat beside Ona, you send another stealthy wink towards Alessia.

A few more rounds of the game go by, Ona and you guessing right a few times and effectively gaining a couple points. Eventually, Katie concludes the game making Ona and you the winners of yet another game. You were just on the same wavelength.

It had managed to get really late by that point, time for you all to return home. But before that there was a small prize ceremony, you and Ona being coined the queens of game night where you were given a small trophy each and jokingly gave thank you speeches. You all helped clean up before calling it a day, leaving the house in herds.

Just as you were beginning to start your walk back home, still not willing to buy a car even after 3 months back in your home country, Alessia calls your name.

“Y/n, come on I’ll drive you home.” She tells you, and once again you realize that you don’t have a choice on the matter when you turn around and look her right in her eyes. Sighing, you follow her back to her car where you see a barely conscious Ella Toone sitting shotgun meaning you would have to sit in the backseat.

The music played over the radio is quiet and the silence between the three of you serene. You enjoy it thoroughly following a night of shouts and loud noises. After a while Alessia stops the car to let Ella climb out of the car and go back into her house, before continuing the drive towards your apartment building. When the car is standing still at a red light, you climb into the front seat that Ella previously occupied, still not saying a word. In fact, you don’t utter a word until Alessia pulls up to your apartment building.

“Thank you Less” Out of the corner of your eye you see her smiling softly at you and you can’t resist the urge to press a kiss to the corner of her lips, all the summers in Spain making you pick up on the overly affectionate nature.

“Good night miss Russo” With that you exit the vehicle, hearing a faint “Good night miss Y/l/n” back.

—

Watching a rerun of an old game alone in your apartment, you suddenly hear the specialized ringtone you set just for Alessia echoing throughout the apartment. You look at the device in confusion before pressing the green button to accept the call. The first thing you hear is her labored breathing coming through the speakers of your phone making you perk up. The next thing you hear is her desperate and tear filled voice,

“Y/n, can you come over? I need you”

There isn’t even a second thought as you tell her you’ll be over as fast as you could, hanging up you pull on a sweater hanging loosely on a chair in the corner of your room before rushing towards the entrance, your socks sliding across the floor a couple of times. You shove your feet in your shoes, throwing open the door and nearly forgetting to lock up the apartment in your rush. There is nothing else you can do other than sprint all the way to her apartment, and for the first time since you arrived in England you curse yourself for not investing in a stupid car.

You’re fully out of breath by the time you knock on the large wooden door, the run extremely tiring despite you being an athlete. The tear tracks on her face stand out against her fair skin, a sharp contrast from her usual look.

She pulls you into her house as she continues to sob violently, your heart breaking a little every time she lets out the heart breaking sound. After closing the door behind you, you follow her into her bedroom where she lays down on her bed. Sitting down beside her splayed out form, you put your hand on her shoulder which makes her sit up slowly. She gives you a sad look that has you pulling her body into your own, rubbing slow comforting circles into her back as she cries into your neck. The skin there quickly becomes wet with a mixture of snot and tears.

After a while, you pull her face away from its hiding place, holding her at arm's length.

“What’s wrong my sweet girl?” You ask her, wiping away the tears that just seemed to flow continuously down her cheeks.

“My ex is getting married” She sees the confusion on your face so she explains further, “it means that it wasn’t that she didn’t want to get married, she just didn’t want to marry me.” A new wave of tears flow down the premises of her cheeks as she mutters out the words that had been eating away at her conscience.

“Hey, Hey, Alessia let’s backtrack okay. Did you ever ask her to marry you?” You question the girl softly.

“No, but we always talked about how pointless it was and how we didn’t want to be stuck in a loveless marriage.” She whispers back to you, her energy low from crying.

“Okay, now would you want to marry your ex?” She shakes her head vigorously to make her point. “So if you don’t want to marry her, then why are you getting so worked up?” She gives you a small shrug in response, not really knowing what to say.

“Less, there are millions of people who would marry you in a heartbeat if they had the chance. Your ex is a very incredibly stupid person for letting someone as good as you go.” You reassure the forward softly, looking her directly in the eyes to show her that you’re telling the truth.

“Do you really think that?” She asks you timidly.

“No” You respond, “I know it.”

Alessia’s eyes flicker between your lips and your eyes, leaning in towards you. You stop her when her lips are millimeters from your own, feeling like you would be taking advantage of her vulnerable state.

“Lessi, I don’t know if this is the best idea. You’re not thinking clearly.” You whisper against her lips and she closes her eyes.

“I’m thinking more clearly than I ever have, and what I’m thinking is that I want you right here right now. Trust me when I say I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.” She moves your hands along with her words, and if your conscience was a little stronger maybe what transpired past that point wouldn’t have happened.

Alessia takes your face in her soft hands, pulling you with her as she lays back down on her bed. You lay on top of her, kissing passionately before moving your lips down the column of her neck kissing and sucking deep and dark marks into the skin. Alessia lets a multitude of pretty sounds escape her lips as she writhes underneath you.

You trail your kisses back up to her lips, mouths moving together in harmony and creating the perfect balance between pleasure and lightheadedness. The kisses you place on her move down her body yet again and as you reach the hem of her shirt, you pull on it slightly to signal that you want the piece of clothing removed from its place on her upper body. You look at her body with such an intensity that she squirms, moving around on her bed. After looking at her for a bit, you go back to kissing her neck and running your hands all over her body…

Waking up nude as the day you were born in your teammates bed wasn’t something that happened often, despite being known for being somewhat of a “playboy” you rarely ever took anyone back to bed.

So when you wake up to an unfamiliar ceiling and a weight pinning you to the bed, a weight with blonde hair nonetheless, you go into what can only be described as panic mode. Looking at the clock beside her bed, you realize that you’re really fucking late for the photoshoot you had planned with United’s management. Both Ona and you had missed the first shoot for the new kit, so now the two of you had to go in during your day off to do it so that the media could release all the pictures.

Carefully, you slide out from the death grip the forward had on your torso, replacing your body with a pillow. Quickly and soundlessly, you collect your scattered clothes from the ground and pull them on as you go. Just as you’re pulling your pants up to cover your legs you hear the slight rustling of the bedsheets, signaling that Alessia now in fact was awake.

She sits up, covering her upper half with the covers as if you haven't already seen everything, as she watches you getting ready.

“Were you just going to leave me while I slept?” She asks in slight disbelief.

“No, I was just going to put my clothes back on to get, y’know decent, before waking you. I have that shoot with Ona today, the one I told you about a few days ago.” She nods her head, remembering you telling her about it just a couple days before.

“I’ll take you out on a date after, okay?” She nods once again and you kiss her on her forehead before leaving. The first thing you both do after you close the door to her home is call your respective best friends. Ella and Ona both get a call at the same time, Ona in her car on the way to pick you up and Ella still in her bed. Both you and Alessia tell the women about what had transpired the night before and give them the full rundown of the happenings. You both end the call by telling them that you’d tell the other that the night was a mistake and that it didn’t matter. In her car, Ona laughs before quickly changing direction to instead drive to Alessia’s place.

As Ona pulls up in front of Alessia’s house, she sees the absolute state you’re in. Dark hickeys painting your neck and lips still swollen from the kisses you’d shared with the blonde the night before. She snickers loudly as you enter the car with tired limbs flying all over the place.

“Shut up” You demand softly, a small smile still creeping up on your face.

“I didn’t even say anything!” She responds but continues to give you more than telling teasing looks throughout the entire ride.

When you arrive where the shoot is supposed to be held, the make-up artist sighs and glares at you playfully when she notices the deep dark blueish purple bruises on your neck.

After having about 1000 different photos taken of you in the new kit and all the accessories, you and Ona are let go. She drives you back to your house to get ready for your date, well you get ready for your date while Ona plays games on her phone listening to you rant about your situation. You wear a simple dress shirt with a pair of black slacks and a black belt to accompany it.

Walking over to Alessia’s in good time, because you still didn’t have a car and you didn’t want to bother Ona more, especially when she was slumped over snoring softly.

Like usual, Alessia would be driving as she trusts very few people with her car. Knocking on her door, she steps out looking like she had just stepped out of the most prestigious fashion magazine, wearing a sleek black dress that hugged just the right curves. It knocks the wind out your lungs and you nearly regret your decision to tell her what happened didn’t matter, but it was the right thing to do. Messing up team dynamics was not something you were keen on doing.

The drive passes in comfortable silence and you reach the restaurant within 10 minutes. You get seated as soon as you walk in and you both order a drink that you sip on, waiting for the other to speak up.

“It was-”

“Last night-”

You let out a chuckle at the coincidence of you both speaking at the same time, motioning for her to take the stage and speak first.

“Last night shouldn’t have happened, it was a mistake” Her voice conveys a thousand different emotions, but you choose to focus on the truth in her voice and tune out all the other emotions. Alessia’s eyes tell you more than her words ever could, that she didn’t regret it and that she definitely enjoyed what had happened, but that like you she didn’t want to mess up dynamics.

“I agree” You speak up, just as many different emotions in your voice as there had been in hers.

“Alright, then. Now with that out of the way, let’s enjoy this outing.” She ends the conversation by starting another one directly after and you just go along with it. For the rest of the date Alessia and you converse about all things possible, everything from football to how the photoshoot had gone.

—

A small injury you sustained before international break left you unable for selection, and frankly making you that much more miserable. Two weeks had already passed since the ‘incident’ and the two of you had continued to act as normal as you could with the obvious shift in your relationship.You acted like you had before the shift around your friends, but the very minimal communication outside of training hurt more than you could’ve imagined. She no longer picked you up for training, meaning you either had to walk or have another teammate pick you up. The picking up part didn’t bother you all that much, the extra walking good for your health and stamina, it was the no communication that bothered you. Nonetheless, you knew she was there for you if you needed her.

But despite her going AWOL on you the first two weeks after it happened, except for training, you still expected her to call while she was away at camp or atleast check in with you from time to time. Much to your dismay, that didn’t happen.

You chalked it up to her just being busy and not finding any time to speak with you, national team duties and all. And even though Ona teased you relentlessly every time you checked your phone, looking for a message or a notification for a missed call (even though you had the volume all the way up to be able to hear if she called), you still did it. You couldn’t care less about looking desperate, because you were. And it was Ona’s fault she had to deal with your sulking, it was after all her who decided that she was going to live with you during the break to help out.

When everyone arrived back from the break, you all decided that a night out at the local pub was a great way to celebrate that. What more could you want other than a nice night out dressed up to the nines and the ability to down a lot of alcohol.

You and Ona arrive fashionably late, and together seeing as you had basically stuck to her side the entire break. The both of you are dressed your best, the traffic slowing you down significantly. Everyone was already there when you walked in the doors, mingling with each other and drinking different types of fruity drinks. You and Ona were deep in conversation, speaking catalan with each other like you usually did when you didn’t want the others to understand what you were talking about, it was a language you had picked up at the same time you learned Spanish. This time you two were talking about your favorite blonde’s absence.

Your captain waves you over to where most of the team was standing, your eyes immediately searching for Alessia’s as soon as you entered the small circle that had been created. When you can’t seem to find her, you quickly realize that she wasn’t there.

It doesn’t take long for you to be swept up in a conversation with Lucía in her native language, distracting you from your search for the blonde you adored.

You eventually notice Alessia moving towards the group, looking like she owned the entire universe and you couldn’t keep your eyes off her.

After a couple drinks, you finally gain enough courage to go over to the star-eyed forward whom you can’t get enough of. You come up behind her as she’s talking to some random girl you don’t recognise.

“Excuse me, can I steal this lovely girl away from you?” The unfamiliar girl looks slightly weirded out but she leaves nonetheless, taking up the space she occupied just a second ago.

“Hello” You greet her, albeit a bit awkwardly and like you hadn’t just scared away the girl she was probably flirting with.

“Hi” She replies just as awkwardly as you had.

“So, are you seeing anybody?” You ask her lightheartedly, aimed at the girl who she’d been with. Alessia stares back at you with slight annoyance present in her eyes.

“Y/n”

“What?” You retort with the same lighthearted tone as before, despite her annoyed one and the clear annoyance growing on her face.

“I don’t want to talk about this.” She tells you seriously, her voice leaving no room for the questions you ask either way.

“What? Why not?” Your tone quickly loses its lightheartedness, getting replaced by a seriousness that isn’t quite you.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She once again repeats and you sense her reluctance to talk about what happened between the two of you. You sigh, already tired of the conversation despite it not really having started yet.

“Can’t we just get past this? Or are we going to continue to act like nothing happened?” You ask the question that’s been playing on your mind since about 2 weeks back. “It’s been forever” You continue talking.

“Forever!? It just happened!” She exclaims angrily, throwing her arms up like she always does when she’s exasperated.

“Lessi, it happened a month ago!” Alessia seemingly didn’t have anything to add as she stays silent, not even looking at you and giving you the silent treatment.

“Y’know a year to a human is like 7 years to a dog” The statement regains her attention and makes her put on a sickeningly sweet smile, most likely sarcastic though you can’t really tell.

“Is one of us supposed to be the dog in this scenario?” Despite her sarcastic expression, her voice is appalled at your obliviousness. How could you possibly make this worse for yourself?

“Yes”

“And who, pray tell, is the dog?” She speaks nonchalantly, almost luring you into a false sense of security and almost making you feel like you’re out of the danger zone. Spoiler alert, you aren’t.

“You are” And that’s how you effectively made it worse for yourself.

“I- I’m the dog!?” She asks almost threateningly, not making you question your safety yet but definitely making you feel a little unsafe.

“Yep” There you go, making it even worse for yourself.

She grabs your hand in a death grip, pulling you in the direction of the bathroom where there’s more privacy and easier to hear each other. Alessia has to scream to be heard over the loud music as you near the bathrooms.

“I don’t see how I’m the dog, if anyone's the dog here then it’s you. It’s you who wants to act like what happened didn’t mean anything” She shouts into your ear, the music a bit overwhelming.

“Hey, I’m not saying it didn’t mean anything, it definitely meant something to me. What I’m saying is that it doesn’t have to mean everything. I mean, why does it? Have to mean everything?” That’s what you don’t understand about the girl, why did it have to mean everything?

“Because it does” By now you had reached the much quieter bathroom, able to speak to each other normally. “Not that you would know, you walked out the door as soon as it happened.” The muffled music serves as a nice distraction from the conversation, the thick walls of the bathroom shutting most of it out.

“I didn’t walk out” You quickly retorted, defending yourself from the accusation.

“No” Alessia responds, “you sprinted.” She concludes her argument.

“One, I was very late that day and two, we both agreed that it was a mistake.” She looks at you with so much venom in her eyes you would think she was part of the MCU.

“The worst mistake of my entire fucking life” Alessia manages to spit out in fury and through clenched teeth. By now the argument was just going in circles, a tiring back and forth that you had little interest in continuing.

“What do you want from me Alessia?” You ask her through a sigh,carefully choosing your words so that you wouldn’t agitate the woman even more.

“Nothing, absolutely nothing.” Her response just confuses you all that much more, as does her sudden protective stance.

“Fine, fine. You want nothing from me, but let’s make one thing clear, I did not go over to your place that night with the intention to make love with you. That is not why I went over there. You wanted to do what we did just as much as I wanted to do it, I mean you still wanted to do it even after I told you that your judgment might have been clouded. We’re both adults here.” You run your hands down your face, just wanting the ground to swallow you whole.

“I can’t believe you sometimes, you insufferable prick!” Her eyes fill with tears as she turns around, not wanting to let you see her vulnerable.

“Alessia, come on” You get out, before she turns around and slaps you as hard as she possibly can, rings and all still sitting on her pretty fingers. After that she storms out of the confined space, searching after Ella needing the comfort she provides. Tears once again run down Alessia’s face as she pulls Ella away from the dance floor, her best friend understanding exactly what she needs and she leads Alessia out of the club arm around her shoulder while whispering comforting words into the blonde’s hair.

Back in the bathroom you’re splashing water onto your face, the mark from her perfectly manicured hands making its very red way onto your face. You observe the handprint in the mirror, Alessia’s rings cutting deep into your skin and making it look all that more gruesome. One of your fingers come up to press on the rapidly bluing mark on your face, it hurts but maybe that’s what you deserve for fucking everything up yet again. You spit out the small amount of blood that accumulated in your mouth, wiping your lips with your sleeveless arm and the blood now stains the skin there instead of your mouth.

At last, you walk out of the bathroom to find Ona and go home. Many of the patrons scattered around look at you with a mixture of pity and concern as you move towards where Ona stands, talking to a pretty girl. You can’t help but feel bad for her, having to take care of you because of your dumb decisions, but like the pact you had made at 14 led ‘your dumb mistakes are my dumb mistakes’.

A drop of blood lands next to Ona as you place your hand on her shoulder, and she can’t help the way her eyes widen at your state. She apologizes to the girl, telling her that you were family and that she had to help you home. Much to Ona’s relief, the girl reassures her that she understood, having her own friends to take care of.

She leads you out to the car, opening the door for you and helping you buckle in before moving towards the driver's seat. You slump quietly against the car door, not acknowledging anything, not even as she takes you to her apartment instead of yours, not wanting to leave you alone to your own devices.

She leads you up to her apartment, kicking the door closed behind her before she takes the familiar route to her bathroom. Ona pushes you to sit on the toilet cover as she gets her wipes from the cabinet under her sink, gently taking your face into her hands as she wipes away the dried blood and remaining sweat from your face. When she’s done she tells you to remain seated as she fetches a pair of your old shorts she had stolen from you many years ago and one of her oversized t-shirts. Your eyes fill with tears at the help you’re receiving from the shorter girl, and one of them escapes your eye when she gives you a kiss on the forehead. She wipes it away, telling you that you could sleep in her room if you wanted. You decline, taking the couch more than enough for you. A lingering goodnight later and you’re sitting on the couch in the pajamas you had gotten.

Suddenly you’re reminded of how you had been in the same situation all those months ago when you had just been broken up with. Sitting on a friends couch (although the friend was more family than friend) in deep fucking misery and feeling like your life was over.

—

Over the next month, you and Alessia don’t say a word more than necessary to each other, you only speak when absolutely vital and only put away your dislike of the other during games. Your teammates notice the more than obvious shift between the two of you, going from carpooling together everyday to not even saying hi in passing.

It wasn’t that you didn’t try, it was all you did the first two weeks but all Alessia did was ignore you, ignore your entire existence. Ella was also glaring at you now, a lot. Wherever you went you could feel Ella’s glare situated firmly on you. Another thing you noticed was how Alessia had seemed to want to make your life as much of a living hell as possible, tackling you hard every chance she got in training and making sure you got a fresh set of bruises every day you went home , most of them covering your legs and ribs.

Now the only two people you hung out with were Ona and Maya, who you had grown really fond of during your time spent at the club.

During all this time all you tried to do was make everything right again with Alessia, calling her every evening and making sure to leave a voicemail when she inevitably didn’t answer. The voicemails consisted of telling her about your day, small jokes Maya had told you, random facts and stupid things Ona had done.

What you didn’t know was that Alessia listened to every single one of them, laughing at certain points and catching herself smiling at your voice and sometimes even letting the sound of your voice lull her to sleep. Every night she listened to them she worked up the courage to answer the phone.

One day, after the last game of the season had passed she finally gained enough courage to pick up the phone when you called.

“Hey Less, no, hi Alessia” She hears you mutter into the receiver, clearly not having heard her accepting the call.

“What do you want?” Alessia cringes at her harsh tone.

“OH, Alessia, hi” You were obviously surprised when she picked up the phone, being used to it going to voicemail. “I called to say that I’m sorry, and to ask if you had a date to the end of year party tonight?” Alessia can’t help but roll her eyes at your stupid question, hanging up before you can say another word.

On the other side of the line you look up at the ceiling, defeated. The phone in your hand rings again and you look at it hopefully, but seeing Ona’s name splayed across your buzzing screen leaves you to flop back down onto the bed. Either way, you accept the call, Ona’s comforting voice flooding through the speakers.

“Are you done yet?” Her accented voice asks hopefully.

“I’m not going Onita” You hate to break her hopeful heart, but you do.

“Why not?”

“I kind of do not want to get a hole glared into my head the entire night.”

“Oh, okay. We’re still on for España right?” You smile at her through the screen.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world”

“Bye”

“Au revoir”

Over at the venue, the party is in full swing and people are dropping in like flies to a light. Alessia’s attention is on the door, waiting for your lanky form to stumble in. She perks up when Ona walks in but she quickly goes back to sulking when she notices that you aren’t behind the small fullback.

Throughout the entire event her eyes flicker towards the door, just willing you to walk through them with that stupid crooked smile on your face. Much to her chagrin, that doesn’t happen. She even resorts to asking your closest friends about your whereabouts, but all she gets is a mean glare in return.

Back in your apartment, you’re watching videos of the ‘96 Bulls championship games, something you’d picked up from your father. When either of you needed comforting, you’d watch the old tapes on the box tv in your basement.

Throwing the tennis ball up into the air before catching it and repeating the process all to help you think more clearly, you suddenly get to the point in the video you’d been waiting for.

“Y/l/n takes the buzzerbeater to complete the three-peat in a sweep. The ball is soaring towards the net, aaaaaaaand she misses to give the sonics the win in game 4.” You narrate as you throw the ball towards the plastic ring on your wall, missing the target slightly as you groan. The familiar feeling of a bad idea runs through your body, and you follow it without a second thought, your body on autopilot.

Pulling on your shoes, you sprint out of the apartment building, this time definitively forgetting to lock the door. But that doesn’t matter, not when you have a girl to get. You sprint all the way there, taking multiple wrong turns before finally arriving at the venue.

All while you had been running to get there in time, Alessia had started to prepare to leave, even going as far as to tell Ella that she was going home. Luckily enough for you, Ella manages to get Alessia to agree to stay until midnight.

But as the clock nears the little 12 at the top and you still haven’t shown up, Alessia decides to call it a day gathering her things and saying goodbye to Ella. She starts to make her way towards the entrance, looking down at her phone.

The doors slam open with a loud BANG, and like she had wished the entire night you enter through the opening. People turn back to their conversations as they notice that it wasn’t anything dangerous, just a lovesick girl.

Your frantic eyes search for the blonde head of hair that you’ve come to recognise, and you move towards her as soon as your eyes meet. Alessia turns on her heel, moving back into the party but you’re faster than her catching up easily and taking hold of her arm.

“Alessia, wait!” Your grip holds her in place as she turns towards you. “Listen, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and the thing is, I love you” Out of all the things Alessia expected to come out of your mouth, those were not on her list. She thought you would berate her, tell her you’re sorry or maybe even tell her you were going, but not that. All she can say is a confused:

“What?”

“I love you”

“How do you expect me to respond to that?” She asks you.

“Well, how about you love me too?” You respond with a question of your own.

“How about ‘I’m leaving’?” She asks the last question as she turns back around to walk away from you only to stop when you exclaim:

“Doesn’t what I said mean anything to you?” Your voice conveys the desperateness you’re feeling as she’s walking away from you, not knowing what else to say to get her to come back to you.

She walks back over to you, her voice a bit quieter than before.

“I’m sorry Y/n. I know you’re feeling lonely, but you can’t just show up here, tell me you love me and expect everything to be alright. It doesn’t work that way, it just doesn’t” By now the desperation has seeped into your facial features.

“Well how does it work then?” You question her.

“I don’t know, but not this way” She lets out.

“How about this way? I love the way your nose scrunches when you laugh. I love how you’re so bright. I love how you’re always blaming me for stuff I had nothing to do with. I love how you wear my shirts and how the sleeves are always too long. I love the smell of your perfume and how it sticks to my clothes. I love the way you laugh at my dumb jokes. And it’s not because I’m lonely or because you’re leaving that I came here this evening. I came here because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible!” By now the blonde girl has moved closer to you. So close in fact that you can see every spot and freckle spread across her face.

“I hate you. You know that is just like you Y/n, you say things like that and you make it impossible for me to hate you but I do.”

Her actions contest her words as she moves closer to you, her soft lips brushing against yours as she slides her arms around your neck, yours settling around her waist. You don’t wait another second before pressing your lips together firmly. The kiss isn’t like the ones you had shared before, it wasn’t rushed or quick, instead slow and patient testing the waters. It tells a story of two lost souls finding their way back to each other through the hardships of life. It’s an apology, a confession but most importantly, it’s a promise. A promise never to hurt each other the way you had ever again.

“Wow…that was fucking amazing” Are the only words able to come out of your mouth after you’ve pulled away, and Alessia laughs slightly pulling you into another kiss before telling you:

“You’re a dork, you know”

this is based on when harry met sally (1989)

#woso x reader #alessia russo #alessia russo x reader #woso imagines

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thedeviltohisangel · 6 months

Note

Blurb idea of Cass bringing John a gift back after her overseas trip?

All The Things I Did (Interlude): All I Brought Back With Me

CHAPTER 1 CHAPTER 2 INTERLUDE 1 CHAPTER 3

INTERLUDE 2 INTERLUDE 3 interlude 4

a/n: this got a little out of hand. cass and john have a mind of their own. i took the prompt in a bit of an evil direction but am i sorry? you be the judge. interlude ideas still open/come scream thoughts and questions at me. esp curious if you guys think cass should visit more? what does she do when she notices bucky's decline? does seeing her help or hurt? interested in your thoughts. love you all, enjoy !

When she landed at Thorpe Abbotts, her trip to rescue John failed, Colonel Harding was waiting for her on the runway. He looked like her father did when he caught her sneaking back into the house after night swimming with friends back in South Carolina. Hands on his hips and jaw twitching.

“You look like hell, Lieutenant.” Cass had spent the flight back biting her lip so hard it drew blood in an attempt to keep it from trembling. The tears had fallen silently but she was doing her best to keep them at bay. She couldn’t waste time crying over the current situation. Emotion would distract her from the task at hand. Prevent her from focusing the way she would need to do to break him out of the camp. She wasn’t going to sleep until he was back with her and safe.

“That’s where I came from, Colonel.” Her ribs were hurting with each breath, the bottle of whiskey the pilots had given her not numbing the pain at all.

“We’ve got to get you in front of an interrogator.” Cass nodded. She knew the drill. Knew they would want to know about the layout of the camp, the susceptibility of the guards, the process of transferring pilots. “For what it’s worth, Cassandra, I’m sorry about Egan. He was one of our best.”

“Is. He is one of the best. He’s at that godforsaken camp and I’m going to get him out.” She grimaced and reached for her side.

“I think your supervisors at the OSS have an opinion on that. They’re waiting for you inside.” Fuck. Now she was screwed. They had kept out of her business the entire time she was in the field. Had sent her instructions by classified mail or cable and praised all of her reports. For them to show up in person, she must have pissed someone off all the way up the ladder.

“Well, Colonel, I guess this is goodbye.” Harding removed his aviators and looked at her with sadness behind his eyes. He reached out and tenderly touched the bruise on her cheek before his hand dropped back to his side. “Cassandra-”

“Colonel, you already declared your love for me once. Don’t do it again.” Every professional wall she had built would break. She turned before he could change his mind and take the risk and walked into the building where she was sure her career was going to end. In there was a table with a man in a suit sitting behind it, a thick file open in front of him. All the chairs for her to sit in had been removed and she would’ve taken a deep breath if she thought it wouldn’t have killed her.

“Lieutenant Cassandra Ann Egan. Ink barely dry on the marriage certificate before your husband goes down over Germany and you recklessly insert yourself behind enemy lines. I might add, also in defiance of orders from your local, cover consistent chain of command, in direct violation of your training. Any comment so far, agent?”

“No, sir.”

“You’re lucky you were successful in Berlin last month. If you weren’t the only officer to ever accomplish that operational objective, I’d be here to escort you back to the states in handcuffs.” Cass gulped but maintained eye contact as best she could. “Instead, I’m here to promote you.”

“Sir, that doesn’t seem-” She caught the new rank he threw her way as best she could with one hand.

“Captain, you’re being sent on mandatory R&R back to the states until DC decides where to place you. Understood?”

“Yes, sir. Do I get to choose my location for leave?”

“I presumed South Carolina-”

“Wisconsin. There’s some people I need to meet.” He looked at her pensively but nodded.

“Very well. Now, let’s get a doctor in here and start the interrogation, shall we?”

----

When Cass finally made it back to her room, breathing was easier and the moon was illuminating a giant trunk that was now at the foot of her bed. She froze in the doorway. It was John’s. And now it was hers. She kicked her shoes off and padded over to her desk, his large sheepskin resting over the back of the chair. It still smelled like him when she put it on and it shattered her last will to stay strong. She dropped to her knees and wrapped his jacket around herself tighter, the sheepskin catching her tears like she imagined John would himself if he were here.

“You were right, Johnny. We should have never left London.” It had been the happiest two days of her life. It had been normal. Just like she imagined falling in love with a boy might be. They had gone to dinner and danced and danced and danced until her feet hurt. He had kissed her and ran his hands down her body and whispered in her ear how he needed her. They had gone to bed and claimed each other over and over until she forgot where she was and how awful the world around them was. Until she forgot how dangerous it would be to tell him she loved him and said it anyways. Had married him the next morning because neither of them could shake the feeling something bad was going to happen. That they needed to be each other’s fully in this life to guarantee they would find each other in the next.

Cass crawled over to the trunk and opened it shakily. There were the items she was expecting. Books, gum, cigarettes. A photo of his family back home and Yankees baseball cards. There was a pile of letters from home and then at the very bottom, an envelope with her name on it. And then she found another one and another one until there was a stack of letters he had written to her on the floor.

The first one dated the night she found the nerve to claim him in public. He wrote that he was going to tell her he loved her. That he couldn’t keep it in any longer so he wrote it down. That he knew she would be the one to get his trunk if anything happened to him because he had known she was it for him all along. She held that one close to her chest and felt the words seep into her skin and soothe the ache in her chest.

The rest of them followed similar themes of John pouring out emotions he was too afraid to say out loud. They all made her giggle because almost immediately after the letter was dated, he had said those words to her in person. He was never good at restraining himself when it came to her. The last one made her heart ache. It was the morning of the last mission, his handwriting rushed and sloppy. He poured out his love for her, how he was fighting for a future with her and hoped at least one of the men who owned the bullets she collected was down there today.

And as soon as I get back, we are going to celebrate our wedding and plan our trips to South Carolina and Wisconsin and practice our baby making. Cass smiled. The version of her that had met John that first night at the social club would have never guessed how broody he was. Now that she knew, it made her tingle. My sun. My moon. My stars. My wife. My precious Spook. I love you, Cass, and am eternally yours. She wiped the tears from her eyes and gently placed the letter back in its envelope. Sitting at her desk, her pen hovering over the blank paper, she looked up at the moon. Whenever her dad spent the nights camped with the farmhands in the field and Cass missed him, her mother would tell her to look at the moon and remember he was looking at the same one. John was looking at the same moon as her tonight. As she whispered her love into the moonlight and wrote the first of the daily letters she had promised him, she hoped the moon did her a favor and carried the message to Germany.

----

She spent the first day or two of her leave building up the courage to knock on the door of the Egan family. Her and John had discussed the eventuality of meeting his family. It felt odd to do it without him but she felt in her heart they deserved to know where he was and how he was doing. Selfishly, it was like getting a piece of him back.

After knocking on the door, she hoped for a moment it didn’t answer. Maybe this wasn’t going to make her or them feel any better. Maybe it would just break her heart all over again.

And then, the door opened.

----

A few weeks later she was pacing outside that wretched chain link fence. She had managed to make it without any broken ribs this time and she was thankful her contact hadn’t confiscated her canvas bag. In it were hats and gloves for John and Gale and the other men, enough chocolate to hopefully bring them some happiness and some mementos from Wisconsin his mother had sent with her. Cass wasn’t even sure how many of her letters had made it to him yet. If he even knew of the trip she had taken.

“There’s my beautiful, beautiful girl.” Her smile split her face, surging to meet his lips through a gap in the fence. “I’ve missed you.” Seeing her soothed the ache within him only incrementally. There was still something endlessly aggravating about the fence in between them but John knew he was lucky to even be able to see her like this. Counted her as his chief blessing before he tried to find sleep at night.

“I’ve missed you too but your face looks better than the last time I saw you.” John scoffed.

“Worried I wasn’t handsome enough for you anymore?”

“Worried you weren’t going to take care of yourself more like it.”

“Buck’s got me covered.” He pressed as close to her as the fence would allow. “I’ve gotten a few of your letters. Wrote you one back.” She smiled at how sheepish he seemed. Nervous that maybe she hadn’t liked what he had written.

“It hasn’t made its way to me but I’m sure it's lovely if the letters to me in your trunk are any indication.”

“You found those?” he asked while rubbing the back of his neck.

“It was waiting for me when I got back from here the last time. You loved me a lot earlier than you said it, John Egan.”

“Loved you from the moment I saw you.” He smiled, he thinks he only smiled when he read her letters or the one time she had visited, took any opportunity to escape into their solar system that he was allowed. “Your last letter said you got in trouble at work.”

“Colonel Harding ratted me out for not obeying his orders.” John’s jaw clenched at the mention of the man. The man who had used his rank to take Cass to dinners and dances and promised her the life of a General’s wife if she wanted it. “But you’ll be happy to know after I got my ass thoroughly chewed, I got promoted.”

“Promoted?”

“You are now the lucky husband to one Captain Cassandra Ann Egan.” He whistled, heart stuttering at the reminder she was his wife, as she did a little twirl and took a bow.

“Congratulations, Captain. You certainly earned the hell out of it.”

“You’ll have to feign surprise when the letter telling you all of this gets to you.” John watched as her face fell and grew concerned. “You’ll also see some letters from me that are postmarked from Wisconsin.”

“Wisconsin?” Then realization settled on his face. “Cass, did you…did you…” He was struggling to formulate the question.

“Please don’t be upset with me,” she breathed desperately. “When they mandated stateside leave it just slipped out. It was selfish of me. I’m sorry. I should’ve just gone to South Carolina and left it alone.”

“I haven’t been to Manitowoc in years,” he spoke wistfully. Had wanted to go back with her on his arm when all this was over. “My sisters give you a hard time?”

“I brought some fabric from my last trip to Paris to butter them up.” John laughed. Only his Spook would be able to tame his two older sisters. “I spent most of the time promising you were okay. They thought you injured your head when I told them we’d been married, something about you not seeming like the type.”

“Just had to find the right girl.”

“Your mom misses you. A lot. Wanted me to give you this.” Cass reached into her bag and pulled out a slightly tarnished silver watch with a date engraved on the back.

“My dad’s watch.” It was hard to swallow around the lump in his throat. “His dad gave it to him on my parents' wedding day. That’s what the date on the back is. Told me when I got married, it would be mine.”

“I can get it cleaned and upgrade the engraving and bring it back if you’d like.” John coughed and shook the fog from his head.

“No. It’s perfect. We’ll get the engraving done together when I’m out of here.” He tucked the watch into his shirt pocket.

“She also gave me this. Was horrified I wasn’t already wearing it.” Cass handed him a small ring box and he knew it was his grandmother’s engagement ring before he even opened it. “I told her it would be wrong to put it on my own finger. One more thing for us to do when we get you out of here.”

“Yeah but you best keep it safe while we wait to get the chance.” He removed the cross from around his neck, slipping the small diamond ring onto it and passing through the fence. She took the chain but slid the cross charm off and handed it back to him with a look. “I’d rather use it to protect you.”

“It’s not up for debate.” He took it and slipped it onto the same chain as his pendant. “Here comes our friend. Catch.” Cass launched the canvas over the side of the fence, John gathering it with ease.

“Thanks, baby. I’m sure all the guys will be very grateful.”

“I’m not sure when I’ll be back. Moscow is my new station.” She had asked for London but was turned down. Told she had earned more of a challenge than London presented. “I have to get the lay of the land and keep my head down for a little bit.”

“I’m sure you’ll win them over in no time, Spook.” She rolled her eyes and reached for a kiss. “I love you, Cass. Now and forever. I promise.”

“I love you, too, Johnny. I’ll see you soon.” Cass stayed until he was walked out of sight, the chain heavy against her chest once he disappeared from her view.

Soon was never soon enough.

#masters of the air #john egan #callum turner #mota #masters of the air fanfiction #john egan fanfiction #callum turner fanfiction #mota fanfiction #masters of the air fanfic #john egan fanfic #callum turner fanfic #mota fanfic

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blakelysco-pilot · 5 months

Text

P.S. I Love You

From the Love Letter Series

Robert “Rosie” Rosenthal x Josephine Harris (OFC)

As time moves on around them during the course of the war, Rosie & Jo learn the best thing they can be, is there for each other. While that may mean different things, their favorite thing to be, is in love with each other.

Read part 4 Here Follow along with the Love Letters Playlist

She had been home alone when the mail arrived. It was the first week in February, and her parents had taken the train down to the Carolina’s so her mother could visit with her sister. Mrs. Harris claimed that the cold weather wasn’t good for her as she got older, and so they had packed their bags and escaped for a few weeks.

Her mother had insisted; You’ll be fine, you’ve got Jean Crosby to keep you company, and Robert’s mother should you need anything. And Jo knew she was right- she’d been spending so much time with Jean Crosby as of late, the two kindred spirits connected by their boys off fighting the war together, that Jo often found she was sleeping at the Crosby home more than her own home.

And so, that had left Jo with the house to herself, though not for long. She was headed off to spend a long weekend with Jean, but as she neared the door to make her way, the mail had fallen unceremoniously through the slot and in a heap at her feet.

“Oh for Christ sake…” she murmured to the empty room, bending to scoop up the stack of envelopes.

Quickly thumbing through them, she found an electric bill, and a gas note that she made a mental note to pay when she returned home next week. Thinking the rest to be junk, until one slightly yellowed envelope caught her eye towards the back.

“Robbie…” she grinned.

Quickly checking that there wasn’t anything else from him in the pile, she dropped them on the kitchen table, and quickly sat down with her prize.

Her thumb slid gently under the flap at the back, and she was surprised to find three sheets of paper. She worried something might have happened, but reasoned that it had been the holidays, and even though he was so far from her, he must have had some stories of what he got up to with the boys in his unit.

Though a month late, his new years wishes still felt warm and cozy to her, his handwriting scrawled across the paper giving away that he’d wasted no time in penning that letter after the midnight bells. Christmas cookies baked with rations, and a complaint that Jean Crosby had replaced him, if only temporarily, as the official cookie taste tester.

“Oh he’s such a baby,” shaking her head with a grin, though no one but her was around to hear the words. “Trouble?! Oh Robert Rosenthal…”

Letting the first page come to rest on the table, Jo began letting her eyes roam over the rest of his letter. Melancholy, she had already known he would be, but the words he had written felt more than anything like an honest to god love letter. A kiss? She had dreamed it many nights since he shipped out, but now that he was asking her permission, wondering if she too, had spent countless nights dreaming of the same things he was, there was no doubt left in her mind. This was a love letter. Her Robbie wanted a life with her, a home, and a future. To leave Brooklyn, and start their life living in the city with their friends. To begin an adventure she wanted to commence right that moment. If only he were home for it to start. She would count the hours until they could be that way.

He must have been feeling so homesick, she thought, as she let the third and final page come into view. As her eyes fell on the page, her grasp on it went slack, the page floating to the kitchen table as she read over the words.

Hi Sweetheart,

I know this is coming with no context but, I want you to know how much I adore you. I know I’ve said it in different ways, and many ways by now, but, I mean it. Truly, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m sorry it took me so long to say it. And to say it from thousands of miles away, with a war on no less. I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to hit me once I’m back home.

Just know that I’ll always, always, carry your heart with the most careful of hands. I’ll keep you safe, and treasure every moment we have together. Anything you want, it’s yours, Jo. A quiet life together, or a herd of children that jump on the bed on Sunday mornings. I’ll make sure you have it honey.

Just know, I’m yours for however long you’ll have me, Josephine. I’m hoping for forever, but that’s a question for another day.

I love you,

Robbie

“Oh my god…”

She felt like time was moving slower than it should be when something big happens. It felt like ages to hail a taxi outside her house, and even longer still as the yellow cab rolled on towards the Crosby home. Jo sat in the back, foot tapping anxiously against the floorboard, purse in her lap, the letter on top of her purse. Her hands nervously clutching both. Her suitcase was in the trunk, and as she got closer to her destination, it took all of her willpower not to just throw a few bills up front for the driver, grab her things and run the rest of the way.

When the car finally came to a stop outside of the Crosby home, Jo quickly paid the driver, gathered her belongings and rushed up the front steps. Knocking on the door, she waited for Jean to answer, and when she took too long for Jo’s liking, the brunette knocked again.

“Jo! Hi!”

“I think Robbie proposed!”

The words tumbled from her mouth with nothing to stop them as she stood on one side of the doorway and Jean on the other, eyes wide.

“What!”

“I think he proposed,” she spoke again. “In his last letter. It just came today, and I don’t know if it’s actually a proposal or not!”

“Okay, well, come inside. Then you can tell me everything.”

Jean stepped aside, and Jo immediately entered the house, placing her suitcase by the side table. Jean took her purse and the letter that still remained with it from her hands, so that Jo could remove her gloves and shrug out of her coat. She watched as Jo took a deep breath, steeling herself before taking her purse and the envelope back, her thumb idly moving back and forth over one of the corners.

“Come on, I was going to make tea but I think you need something stronger.”

“Jean, it’s the middle of the day!”

“And you’re engaged,” She began walking towards the living room. “Or, at least we think you are.”

“It’s still the middle of the day!” Jo knew that she wasn’t going to win the argument, and resigned herself to the couch while Jean puttered around the living room.

“What’s that expression…” Jean giggled. “Bubbles used to say it all the time. Every hour is Happy Hour?”

“Well, he also left your husband with no quarters or boots after a weekend pass, so, no offense to Bubbles but I’ll get my advice elsewhere.”

“I don’t think Bing has quite gotten over the loss of his boots.” Jean sighed, her expression a mix of sadness and nostalgia for Bubbles. It was clear that her husband wasn’t the only one who missed him.

Righting herself, she moved towards the liquor cabinet to retrieve two glasses, and all the requirements for a martini. Jo looked on as Jean quickly pulled together two cocktails, before joining her on the sofa, handing her one of the glasses.

“Now, tell me everything.”

Jo, mid sip, simply handed over the envelope with Rosie’s latest letter, eyebrows raised as she motioned for Jean to open it.

“The third page,” She clarified. “Read that, and tell me what you think.”

Jean’s wide eyes swept over the page. Once, twice and then a third time, before placing the paper between them, and looking at Jo with a serious expression. She was silent for a minute, then took a long sip of her own drink before finally saying something.

“Asking your sweetheart for forever is typically proposal material. Speaking from experience.”

“That’s the first time he’s told me he loves me.”

“The first time ever?”

“We say it in different, sometimes indirect, ways but, neither of us have actually come outright with the words before.”

“Josephine!”

“Looks like he beat me to the punch…”

“I’ll say!”

“A house together, kids? I just… am I supposed to feel overwhelmed?”

“I’d be more worried if you weren’t!”

“But I don’t…” Jo looked over at her friend, reaching to place the glass she had been holding on the coffee table. “I don’t feel overwhelmed.”

“No?”

“I feel like I want him to come home right now so we can get started on forever. I feel like I’m sitting in limbo waiting for him. Waiting for the rest of my life to start.”

“So why are you telling me all of this!”

“Well there’s a war on. I’m here and he’s over there!”

“And…?”

“You’re my best friend. Our boys are best friends, no one understands this any better.”

“I thought Rosie was your best friend.”

“He’s the love of my life. It’s different.”

“Well, please pour your heart out to him in your next letter,” Jean placed a hand on Jo’s arm, her smile warm as she watched her best friend piece together in her mind, just what her future may look like. It was the same thing she did when she thought of Harry. “He should know how you feel about him.”

“Well, you might need to make me another martini if I’m going to do that.”

“Consider it done,” Jean winked. “Don’t worry. A little liquid courage and you’ll be telling him how many kids you want and what color to paint the living room.”

It was hours later that Jo found herself in the spare bedroom of Jean Crosby’s. The bedside lamp lit, illuminating the cozy bedroom with just enough light that she could see the paper in her lap as she sat up in bed. Propped up against the headboard, the blank sheet of paper in her lap, she rolled the words around in her head over and over. The weight of them is like a barbell; if she picked them up the wrong way, or didn’t balance it properly, she’d end up getting crushed. The idea of letting the wrong words or a poorly timed thought ruin things, with thousands of miles between them was a thought she couldn’t bear. It settled in her stomach heavy, like lead, as she sat there and stared at the empty page, practically willing the words to write themselves.

This was something she needed to face on her own; her future, with the man that she loved. She had asked Jean for advice, and listened with an open mind and honest ear. Her friend was right- she needed to tell him exactly how she felt.

“This would be a lot easier if you were home, Robbie…” She murmured to the empty room.

February 1944

My Darling Robbie,

Your warm New Year’s wishes reached New York a month later, but the sentiment remained I can promise you. The mail is too slow these days for someone as impatient as me. I did not paint the town red, and sadly there was no dancing, because you’re not here, my love, and I wouldn’t grant a dance to another. I did spend the evening with Jean. The pair of us cooked a nice dinner and sat by the radio until the bells. Did you know she makes a hell of a martini? You may have some competition when you come home! I’m glad you and the boys were able to spend something of a quaint holiday in the Officers Club.

That was sweet of the Red Cross girls to bake for all of you! Don’t be such a baby about Jean taking over as the taste tester this year, you’ll have your coveted spot back as soon as you’re home. And you had best be home by next Christmas. I don’t think my heart could take another one with you so far away.

My love, I promise that if you had been home, you could have had as many kisses as you wanted. I could never deny you anything, least of all, something that I desire just as much as you. I will save all of my kisses for you, until you return and can take them for yourself.

You’re in my dreams every night, Robbie, and in those dreams it’s always you and I. Together, pressed cheek to cheek as we wake on a lazy Sunday morning, fighting the blurry edges of sleep as we hold each other impossibly close. One day that dream will come true, and we won’t have to wish for it on paper. It’ll be me and you, and the life we built. I guess those burnt eggs are alright, so long as you keep your promise and spin me around the kitchen.

I did not think it was possible to miss anyone so much, but then you got on that train and you took my heart with you. Sweetheart, I know you are caring for it while fighting, but please, bring it back with you. I couldn’t bear the thought of it with anyone else. You may believe you took too long to say what feelings you’ve held close for so long, but then I would be equally as guilty for doing the same. Please know that I miss you terribly, my darling, and I long to be with you.

In case I wasn’t clear, I love you too, Robbie. I always have, and I will for the rest of my days. Please, finish the job and come home to me so that we can start on our forever- you don’t have to ask any other way, it’s yours.

All of my love, today, tomorrow & forever,

Your Jo

Jo let the pen fall from her grasp, and without thinking, jumped up from the bed to rummage through her makeup. She quickly applied a thin coat of lipstick, before bringing the paper up to her face, and pressing her lips just below her signature. Pulling back fully satisfied, she spritzed her perfume lightly to the paper before holding the letter close to her chest. The weight of his ask, and her words, fully settled into the place in her heart that had been vacant since he departed.

It wasn’t until the first tear fell that she realized she had been crying; scolding herself for getting stains on the paper she was holding close, she quickly folded it up and placed it inside the waiting envelope. Tomorrow, she would address it to Rosie, and say a little prayer that the mail would speed up a bit. Weeks between letters had bordered on agonizing; anything could happen in that time, and Jo was impatient as it was. She hated the extra wait time. With one final glance to the letter resting on the nightstand, she slid underneath the covers, fully intent on sleeping, but found herself unable to rest. She wondered what Rosie was doing, was he well, and was he safe on base with Harry Crosby? Were they keeping each other company the way her and Jean so often did? How close was he to finishing the job, and was the crew alright as well. She let the thoughts turn over and over, like flipping a coin, before she fell into a restless sleep of pieced together dreams. Dreams of her and Rosie. Of a cozy home, Artie Shaw on the record player and children with his bright blue eyes jumping on their bed to wake them.

————————-

“Rosie!”

Stopping in his tracks, he spotted Everett Blakely and his Red Cross sweetheart, Val, heading his way.

“Blakely,” he nodded at the man before tipping his hat at his companion. “Valencia.”

“Rosenthal, you’d better stop with the Valencia nonsense. You know my name, use it!”

“You’ve got a gorgeous name…” Blakely grinned at her, throwing his arm over her shoulder.

“Oh knock it off…” She scolded him.

Rosie watched the pair bicker, the same way he would often bicker with Jo. A sense of nostalgia and longing he often found plaguing his days as he counted down to the coveted 25. Shaking the thoughts from his head for a moment, he focused on the pair in front of him.

“You guys need something?”

Val nodded, reaching into her pocket and pulling out an envelope, handing it over to him.

“Mail call.” She grinned.

“Ah, thank you!”

“I was going to have Ev drop it on your bed but, Dougie’s in there… doing lord knows what.”

“Thanks Val,” Rosie beamed, seeing Jo’s familiar cursive scrawled across the envelope. “See you guys later…”

“Happy reading!”

Rosie barely spared them a wave as he headed for the Officers hut to grab his bike, and head over to the handstand, where he’d read the words from Jo under the shade of The Riveters wing.

“Soon, Jo… I’ll be home soon, sweet girl…”

Read part 6 Here

There you have it, friends! Did you see that coming? Make sure to follow along with Blakely & Val in their series: Beat Me, Daddy, Eight to The Bar.

A/N: Thanks for reading! This series will continue for Rosie & Jo, so if you enjoyed this, please like, comment, reblog- whichever is your poison. Feedback is always welcome & my ask box is always open. If you want to be added to my tag list, or removed, let me know!

Tag List: @rowdy-redhead @winniemaywebber @sagesolsticewrites @rosiesriveter @bobparkhurst @victoryrollsandredlips @bcolfanfic @major-mads @footprintsinthesxnd @roosevelt-stalin-cocacola @justheretoreadthxxs @claireelizabeth85 @hephaestn @ktredshoes @barrykeoghussy @peachessndreamss @hellfirequinnie @prettyinlimegreenboots @precious-little-scoundrel @spinteresting

#love letters #love letters: rosie & jo #rosie rosenthal #masters of the air #oc: josephine harris #mota fanfic #rosie rosenthal x oc #Rosie & Jo #rosie rosenthal fic #rosie rosenthal x ofc #hbo war #gina baker writes

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atlabeth · 1 year

Text

fight or flight - rafe cameron

summary: you come back to the outer banks with an engagement ring and a wedding date, and rafe cameron crumbles.

a/n: so i said i was going to write something fluffy to get out of the writing rut and instead i wrote this. so

wc: 2.3k

warning(s): angst, unrequited love, no happy ending. i wrote unrequited love on reader’s side so it’s only fair that rafe goes through it too

based off the song by conan gray because apparently he's my main inspo for toxic rafe

Rafe Cameron didn’t exactly know what he was doing here.

It was the night of your wedding party, or a welcome back party, or some other fucking name for the party. Whatever it was, it was to commemorate you getting married to a guy that most certainly was not him. Clearly, seeing as you were doing your rounds with your soon-to-be-husband and he was downing his fifth glass of champagne. It wasn't doing anything, but he didn't really care.

This wasn’t how the night was supposed to go. Hell, this wasn’t how his week was supposed to go.

Rumors had started floating through kook circles that you were coming back to the Outer Banks for the spring, and the second the grapevine reached him, he knew he had to talk to you.

Rafe never really got to say everything he wanted to say to you before you left for college in Seattle, putting a mere 2,813 miles between the two of you. University of Washington got you and Rafe lost you, all while he stayed put in North Carolina, pushing his way through Chapel Hill with his father in his ear and a business degree Rafe didn’t even think he wanted.

So when he heard that you were going to be back in his neck of the woods for a week, he started thinking of all the things he had to say to you, things that he’d been too much of a coward to say when he still had you.

He couldn’t tell you how he felt about you—that was coming on too strong. Especially when he considered the fact that he’d had a thing for you since freshman year, ever since you were paired up together as lab partners in Mrs. Hawthorne’s biology class. Rafe credited that year as the first time he got A’s on every project while not remembering a single thing that was said. You had that sort of effect on him.

But he had to at least say something—how much he’d missed you, how he wished he didn’t leave things the way he did, how he’d thought about you basically every single day since you’d packed yourself into a car with your family for a cross-country trip you wouldn’t be coming back from.

Maybe. Maybe not.

He didn’t know. Rafe had never known when it came to you.

But then Sarah came inside a day later, carrying a load of mail. And within it, a Save the Date addressed to the Cameron family.

A Save the Date for your wedding.

It wasn’t much of a surprise to his sisters when he stormed out right after reading it and spent the rest of the day off the radar—there was a reason Sarah tried to keep it away from him.

The whole situation was almost laughable, how Rafe went from thinking about ways he could bridge the gap from the past few years to drinking away a sorrow he should have been able to leave in high school.

So Rafe was still in love with you, and you were getting married to some Seattle guy he’d never even met, and he was at your wedding party but he wasn’t part of your wedding party, and he was about two more drinks away from a full on breakdown.

Yeah. He was doing pretty great.

“Rafe!”

…Great.

He steeled himself as he turned around, and the vice relieved the slightest bit of pressure on his heart to see you by yourself. Rafe didn’t really think he could handle talking to your fiancé.

“Hey,” he said, a smile born solely of kook instincts forming.

“I haven’t seen you in forever,” you laughed. You brushed a strand of hair out of your face, the engagement ring glaring at him even from afar. “Thank you so much for coming!”

“Sure,” Rafe said. “You invited the whole family. Would’ve been rude not to.”

Your smile wavered but remained strong, the only sign of uncertainty the slightest crease between your eyebrows. Turns out kook DNA stayed just as strong thousands of miles away. “I guess, but I didn’t want it to be an obligation. I thought you would be just as happy to see me.”

“I am,” Rafe lied, and his throat bobbed. “It’s just… been a long night.”

“Oh,” you said, and you nodded, “I get that.”

Uncomfortable silence permeated the air between you before you, ever the diplomat, smiled even brighter and broke it. “So what have you been up to lately? Changing the world and all that?”

“Something like that,” Rafe said. His gaze moved behind you, and he saw your fiance talking with some parents a couple tables down. That potential conversation wasn’t something he could even think about handling.

You opened your mouth to say something, Rafe interrupted before you could. “Uh, Sarah’s calling me from over there. I gotta go.”

He didn’t look back as he walked off, and he was glad he did. Seeing the hurt on your face that he caused would have broken him.

Tonight had been… a lot.

It was one thing coming back to the Outer Banks after being on the West Coast for so long, back to the norms you’d steadily been growing away from. Seeing your friends was great, but you really didn’t miss the constant comments from their parents. You wouldn’t have even invited them if you had the choice, but your mom was planning a majority of your wedding, and her guest list was “nonnegotiable”.

So while you had the best time talking to friends you hadn’t seen in months and introducing them to your fiance during your rounds, you could have done without all the bubble wrap.

You loved the Banks, but Seattle had spoiled you with how… normal it was. There was a reason you were only getting married here, and there was reason you kept basically all of your romantic life a secret since you went to college—after all this, it was right back to the road.

With your cheeks aching from smiling so much and your social battery steadily running out, you entrusted your fiancé with pleasantries for a bit so you could get some fresh air.

If there was one thing you were thankful for with your hometown, it was the nostalgia. You’d run around and fished at this pier so many times when you were younger it only seemed right to hold your “welcome home, you’re about to get married” party in the same place.

As you stepped outside, you noticed someone else seeking the solace of silence. You would’ve given it to them, but then you recognized the suit and the hair and the way he leaned hunched over against the railing, and you couldn’t just leave it alone.

“Y’know, that’s not good for your posture,” you said, walking up to him with a slight smile.

Rafe turned his head, and when you registered in his mind, he sighed. “As you’ve told me for years.”

“And yet you never listen to me.” You leaned against the railing so you were facing him, and Rafe didn’t move. “What brings you out here?”

“Could ask you the same thing,” he said, still not looking at you.

You shrugged. “Just needed some space from it all.”

“Why?” Rafe finally looked at you, his expression almost vacant. “Having doubts?”

You frowned. “Of course not. It’s just overwhelming being back. Everyone has something to say about every part of this, and I don’t really care about anyone’s opinion but Jake’s.”

Rafe huffed a laugh, looking away again. “Jake. Of course that’s his name.”

Your brow furrowed deeper and you stood up. “Okay, what the hell is up with you tonight, Rafe?”

“Nothing,” he said, still staring off into the water.

“That’s bullshit,” you bit out. “You’ve been weird all night, and it's like you're trying to avoid me. Do you have a problem with me now or something?”

He finally pushed himself up and looked at you, all messed up hair and unbuttoned jacket and glimmering eyes, and you had to force yourself not to look away. “The opposite, actually. But I do have a problem with you inviting me to this whole thing and acting like it’s normal.”

“The opposite?” You stared at him in disbelief. “What the hell are you talking about? We’ve been friends forever, why wouldn’t I invite you?”

“Because I am in love with you!” Rafe exclaimed, and your eyes widened as he laughed. “God, I don’t know how you never realized—I’ve been practically tripping over you since freshman year, and then you go and do this shit!"

“You—” you laughed too, if only out of pure shock, shaking your head as you took a step back, “—you what?”

“I’m in love with you,” he repeated blatantly. The words didn't bring him relief—how could they, when they couldn’t do anything for him? “Surprise, I guess.”

“You can’t fucking do this to me,” you said shakily. “Not today. Not— not now. Tell me you’re joking.”

“Do I look like I’m joking?” Rafe ran his hand through his hair with a cold laugh, turning away from you. “I don’t even know why I came tonight. Guess I just had to see for myself if it was true.”

“Of course it’s true!” you exclaimed. “Why would you come to this if you just— if you just wanted to try and ruin this for me?”

“You think I want to ruin this for you?” Rafe shook his head and huffed another laugh. “You think I want this? To have been in love with the one person I’ve never been able to have?”

“Why didn’t you tell me in high school?” you demanded. Your voice wavered from anger over anything, a fire beginning to burn in your chest. “Why didn’t you tell me during any of the summers I was back? Why— God, Rafe, why now?”

“You think we ever would’ve worked out then?” he asked with another mirthless laugh. “I— I was a complete wreck in basically every way, and you were the most perfect person I’d ever met. It was a miracle we ever became friends, and even more of one that you stuck with me. I thought I would get over it, because I knew nothing could ever happen, but every year I just fell harder. For me, it's you. It has always been you, even with everyone else.”

“No.” You shook your head, the blaze growing inside of you. “No, no— it has not been me!”

Rafe shrugged. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

“You don’t get to tell me this!” you seethed, and you moved towards him. “You don’t get to try and uproot my life just to make yourself feel better, you asshole!”

“I never had the chance to tell you!” Rafe defended, and he counted off his fingers as he listed names. “Freshman year it was Tatum, and then it was Mason, then Jade, then fucking Kelce—” he threw up his hands. “Everytime you were single, you were very clearly not interested, clearly, if you were dating one of my best friends. And then it was senior year, and you told us all you were going to Seattle. What the hell was I supposed to do?”

“You should have told me how you felt before all of this!” The wind had begun to pick up now, the night chill biting at your skin, but you didn’t care. “Because you know what, Rafe? I liked you too!”

That stopped him in his tracks. “What?”

“Yeah,” you said, and you managed a shaky laugh. “Junior year, I liked you for a while. Kelce said a lot of good things about you when we were together, and it actually started to change how I saw you. Less of an asshole, more of an actual human. Just someone who was working through stuff in the worst way. Why do you think Kelce and I spent so much time together after we broke up?”

Rafe laughed, but it could barely be considered one, wholly without heart. “You’re fucking kidding me.”

You shook your head. “I thought it could have been something. But before I could say anything, you got with Tessa and I figured it wasn’t worth a shot.”

Rafe went silent as he turned away again, but you could see the clench of his jaw even from your position.

“This doesn’t mean anything,” you said, “okay? I don’t care how you feel about me, because I don’t feel anything for you. I am getting married next month, and that’s that.”

“I know.” He turned around, his signet ring glinting in the pier’s lamplights. “It’s not like I expected to change anything. I just…” he sighed. “I don’t think I could have physically kept it in any longer.”

“You should have,” you murmured. A spring night shouldn’t have been this cold, but you wrapped your arms around yourself as the chill bit at you. Maybe it wasn’t all external.

“Congratulations on your wedding,” Rafe said. “I’m happy for you. Really. I just can’t be part of it.”

“Really?” You huffed a mirthless laugh, looking him right in the eye. “This is it? After all the years we’ve been friends, you’re not even going to come to my wedding?”

“I can’t.” His tongue darted out to wet his lips and he turned away, shaking his head before meeting your eyes once more. “I should go. Have a good night. I—“ his throat bobbed, “—I’m sorry.”

Your sundress blew in the breeze, your cardigan doing nothing to help with the chill creeping through you. This wasn’t the way any of this was supposed to go, but it wasn’t like you had a choice.

You pushed back the tears threatening to fall and let out a shaky breath, moving back towards the doors.

You looked over your shoulder and watched Rafe Cameron walk out of your life for the last time, and then you went back inside.

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77 @simonsbluee @kwyloz @masteroperator @louderfortheback

obx tags: @milkiane @lilgoddesshines @sexytholland

rafe tags: @lurkymurker

#im actually rlly nervous about posting this because i havent posted anything on here in so long so please dont hate it #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron #rafe cameron fic #obx x reader #obx #obx fic #outer banks #outer banks x reader #outer banks fic #rafe cameron obx #obx rafe cameron #outer banks rafe cameron #rafe cameron outer banks #sadie writes

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qqueenofhades · 2 years

Note

Another optimistic result from last night. Michigan's state legislature went blue for the first time since the Reagan administration. Dems were a superminority four years ago and now we run the entire state government, thanks in no small part to the independent redistricting commission that was created via a statewide ballot proposal in 2018.

We also passed a measure to protect abortion rights and broaden/strengthen voting rights. Basically, last night I had stress dreams all night about the end of democracy and I woke up to some good news. Things still aren't great and I'm anxious about races across the country, but I'm hopeful for the first time in a long time.

Michigan, Colorado, and Pennsylvania all had particularly good nights. Michigan Democrats won the governor and secretary of state races against cuckoo crazypants Q-challengers, protected abortion access, flipped the legislature, and expanded voting rights and access. In Colorado, all the Democratic incumbents won in a walk and might get an extra House seat from newly created CO-8. The biggest news there is that MAGA Barbie Lauren Boebert is still behind by about ~3500 votes in CO-3 with almost all the votes in. This is a R+9 district and shouldn't even be close. In Pennsylvania, Fetterman picked up a Senate seat for the Democrats despite all the doom and gloom and the intense GOP focus on Dr. Quack, Democrat Josh Shapiro easily beat MAGA lunatic Doug Mastriano for governor, and the state legislature is agonisingly close to flipping Democrat or at least almost even control.

Other morning-after thoughts from about four and a half hours of sleep:

As I said last night, the Democrats and Florida are Charlie Brown and the football. This isn't entirely their fault, as DeSantis has made it into his personal fiefdom and redrew the already-red maps to be EVEN MORE RED, threatened voters with his own goon squad, and otherwise turned it into Fascist Disneyland, literally. He cruised to re-election (ugh), but we still don't know how that plays outside his carefully curated media bubble where he only does interviews with right wing hacks like Fox and never answers tough questions. Lil Marco Rubio likewise beat Val Demings. Double ugh. So yeah, Florida Democrats are MIA. At least we got the first Gen Z member of Congress, 25 year old Democrat Maxwell Frost.

Whatever its untapped demographics, and unfair restrictions from obviously nonsensical voting laws, on the institutional level, Texas is not a blue state either. It just isn't. Beto ran a good campaign, but yet again, it wasn't close and Texas is just... Texas.

Hey anyone else think we should just let Florida and Texas secede?

However, my heartfelt sympathies to sane Floridans and Texans who worked hard but still had to see the same old crazy win.

Ohio and North Carolina also had Republicans win their Senate races. Tim Ryan and Cherie Beasley ran strong campaigns but it wasn't enough to overcome the increasing reddish tilt of those states (especially Ohio, which is also starting to look lost for the foreseeable future). However, they were both replacing retiring Republicans, so no change as far as the balance of power. Still despicable that that carpetbagging hack JD Vance is in the Senate, though.

Jury is still out in Arizona, where both Democratic governor and Senate candidates have narrow leads (governor more narrow), but if Katie Hobbs and Mark Kelly can pull this out, every single MAGA election denier candidate for governor/SOS will have lost.

That is GOOD NEWS for democracy.

Swingy Nevada is still looking dicey, though. As expected, its Democratic governor and Senate incumbent are behind after Election Day vote counting. Senator Catherine Cortez Masto is in a slightly better position than Governor Steve Sisolak. If big blue Clark County (Vegas) delivers its usual tranches of Democratic mail vote, they could both still probably win (CCM somewhat more likely since her deficit is smaller), but Nevada kept us anxiously waiting for days on end and seems fully set to do it again.

If Senate control comes down to yet another Georgia runoff between Raphael Warnock and Herschel "Me Good At Concussions And Abortions" Walker, I am going to scream.

Warnock is ahead but probably not enough to avoid a runoff under Georgia's ludicrous Jim Crow Senate rules where a candidate has to reach 50% to win outright.

Stacey Abrams also lost again to Brian Kemp. Ugh.

New York Democrats won the governor, AG, and Senate races, in not too much surprise but some of the late polling was close. They've had some struggles in suburban and rural NY, though managed to keep Pat Ryan's seat from the recent special election.

Way too many white people are still voting for Republicans, with the noted exception of 18-29 year olds, the only white age demographic to vote Democratic (by almost 2 to 1).

Looking at the data, 18-29 year olds from all demographics voting Blue are quite probably the only reason there wasn't a red wave. Good job, guys. I give you a lot of stick on here, but well done.

God, when will all those old white Republicans finally croak. They vote like clockwork every time and it's always bad.

Abortion access won everywhere it was on the ballot, including in deep red Kentucky (not overturning the current ban, alas, but rejecting a state constitutional amendment to ban it). Abortion rights are popular! Who knew.

This is an absolutely stunningly good result for an incumbent president's first midterm in any year, let alone with 8.5% inflation, economic pain, crazy fascists, and all the rest. Obama lost 63 House seats in 2010. So far, there hasn't really been a major change, and we still don't know who will control the House, after a lot of doomsters were insisting it would be Republican by 9pm ET on election night.

Democratic incumbents also won several tough re-election races in seats they would probably have lost in a red wave year.

Sarah Palin appears likely to lose in Alaska for the second time in three months. HA.

Trump was by no means the kingmaker. Almost all of his handpicked candidates have lost, with the exception of Vance in Ohio. Jury still out on Laxalt in Nevada (come THROUGH for CCM, Vegas, PLEASE).

Midterms are now not quite over, but at least moving to the rear view mirror. So when is Trump gonna get fucking indicted. That is the major next step on the Save Democracy checklist.

I likewise didn't think it would happen right after the midterms, regardless of who won; early 2023 remains my best guess. But also, like. Soon, please??

Anyway. If we lose the House (still not for sure) but keep the Senate, we can at least continue to confirm judges and other such important things. Having a tiny Republican majority (bleck) in the House would at least make it more difficult for them to do anything outrageously stupid, or at least have it succeed, as they would be sure to waste everyone's time with pointless stunts anyway.

Meh.

Still, though. By any metric, a big failure for Republicans, considering what their expectations were and how goddamn hard the media tried to help them at every turn, and a good showing for democracy as Democratic control was retained in key swing states and election deniers did not win any of their targets.

Stay tuned for more Election PutinDestielNevadaNovember5th...uh...8th redux!!!

UGH, NOT AGAIN.

#liptonrm #ask #politics for ts

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bubbledtee · 1 year

Note

bub i dont think ill never stop thinking about those james nd his baby girl thoughts :((( couldn't help but think about this from some kind of monster........

WHAT IF I FELL TO MY KNEES AND STARTED CRYING IN THE FROZEN FOOD AISLE</333 the way the two of them would be inseparable and when james nd you are at the store with her hes always picking up those silly little 'daddys girl' onesies with frilly little flowers and hearts on em and he holds them up to her and asks her which one she thinks would look better on her... shes just babbling to him and ur just like !!!!!!!!!cause you just love them so much!!!!!

and when shes older nd you cant make it to her ballet lessons so james shows up and hes just converses with the other moms as if he *is* one..... like.... "oh that one over there is mine... yeah i know she always gets tripped up on her releves but i think she'll be alright" and the other moms are just staring at him in shock about how much he keeps up with his daughters ballet...

uuugghhhh and when your pregnant and the two of you are lying in bed he's just talking to the lil baby inside your tummy and kissing it all over cause he cant wait any longer</33 not to mention the amount of time and money he spends on the nursery... u come back home from running errands and james is just covered in paint talking about how he has a new changing station coming in the mail because he didn't like how the other one he chose looked too uncomfortable for the baby.....

and whenever she gets up at night he always ushers u back to sleep cause he knows ur so worn out after labor (lets not forget the baby blues and post partum depression :(((( )) so he always tells you he's got it handled (and he surprisingly does cause after a few minutes shes already back to sleep!!!!) and ur just sitting in bed wondering how u could score a man so perfect UGH can u tell that im not okay with these thoughts </333 he's literally soooo sweet carolina by lana del rey.....

it’s too early for me to be crying over having a child with this man. he’d be the perfect father to our little girl.

just imagine when you tell him you’re pregnant. that man is breaking down into (happy) tears and falling to his knees to hug your tummy and kiss it. especially if it’s with death magnetic to htsd era james because he’d have been worried he was too old to get you pregnant. but then his prayers would be answered when he came home from the studio one day and you gave him the best surprise he could’ve ever asked for.

and then at your first ultrasound, that man is an absolute mess. reality would be seriously setting in for him and he’s trying so hard not to bawl his damn eyes out. and when you get in the car to go home he’s just got the biggest, sweetest smile on his face and he’ll just start talking about how you should plan on doing the nursery. he’s also just so excited to tell friends and family he can hardly contain himself.

god and during your labor hes so supportive. he’ll sit with you and rub your back during your contractions, telling you how well you’re doing and how proud he is of you and how excited he is to meet your little girl. when you’re crying from how much pain you’re in, he’s kissing your forehead and trying not to cry himself because he hates seeing you in any sort of distress. but it’s all worth it for the both of you when she’s finally out and you’re both admiring how beautiful she is and the love you both have for her is so strong you can’t stop crying.

i need to stop talking abt this i could go on for hours.

#james hetfield #papa het #james hetfield x you #james hetfield x y/n #james hetfield x reader fluff #ask #velvetjar #bub’s thoughts

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roxyandelsewhere · 2 months

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Hello, I am Faten👋

I live in the Gaza Strip I am a mother and I have three children👩‍👧‍👧He lost his livelihood due to the war and now no one helps us. Please help my children suffer from malnutrition and skin diseases👇

Please help https://gofund.me/b4d9068c We have lost our home🏚 We are displaced in tentsزand our tent burned. We move from one place to another

Help meIn spreading my campaign and getting out of this genocide

https://gofund.me/b4d9068c

#carolina got mail #faten12sworld

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marta-bee · 11 days

Text

I know I'm harping on a lot about US politics and voting in particular. Bear with me, because it's been a rough few days in local news on the voter suppression front.

Here in North Carolina, RFK successfully sued to have his name removed from the ballot. Fair enough, except he asked for it after the deadline and after the ballots had been designed and were being printed. It was a 4-3 vote by elected judges, and it will mean mail-in ballots will go out several week later than the law requires.

There's also a legal challenge to University of NC students using an electronic photo ID issued by their school. Several physical school ID's are allowed as voter ID, the issue they're claiming here is no other electronic ID's were specifically included in the law until the state board of election authorized the UNC app, and electronic cards are less secure than physical.

North Carolina isn't a deep red state. There was a bit of a conservative turn after Obama was elected, and we've voted in some pretty ugly ballot measures in recent years that have made national news. But things have been getting better. Our outgoing governor Roy Cooper was a Democrat and on the short-list for Harris's running mates. We've got several largeish cities with a real progressive streak; I feel comfortable living in one. Our universities are quite good and well known. We're actually surprisingly purple, with the RNC usually winning for president but high state-level races going to the DNC candidates in the same election. And if the ads I keep seeing on TV are any indication, we're something of a swing state in 2024. (Honestly, please go away on that one....)

Shenanigans like this always raise my ire, both because they're so anti-democratic but also because they're avoidable. They happen because someone on a mundane, usually local-level position lets them happen. And local races are won by such smaller margins.

If you still needed a reason, let this be it.

#us politics #voting #marta blathers

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sweetjulyofmine · 5 months

Note

Hayy🌸🌸 you’re so beautiful + you&your bf are such a cute couple. Would you mind sharing how you two met? I’m an intrinsically nosy person lol

Hi :3 I am on my laptop so that I can focus on writing an adequate response because I am also an intrinsically nosy person and am almost always hyper curious about relationships I see online or in person (very obsessed with the guy on tiktok who posts videos about people's meet cute stories.) I also love love and have waited forever to feel this way about someone.. My story starts in August 2022, I (living in new york) was about to be in North Carolina to visit my best friend Piper and my boyfriend (colin) was here with his .... then partner now *ex visiting our mutual best friend Natasha (who lives in new york.) Natasha had suggested that Colin and I become mutuals on instagram because we are both fine artists and our work had similar visual cues and we found inspiration from the same photographers. Our paths didn't cross then as I flew down south for some much needed southern summer time and he got a small taste of NY. Even from his vague internet presence, I always had a tiny feeling that lurked (hidden deeeeeep deep inside of me) and told me that he would be the one. A few months go by and I grow secretly fond of Colin and his photographs online (not sure if he felt the same way but I should ask him to write up his version of this story.) In January 2023, Natasha is flying back to her hometown (in the bay area) for our uni winter break and invites me to tag along. This was super exciting to me not only because I had never really been to California (let alone the bay) and I also had an ex there that I was planning on seeing (haha.) I then meet Colin again (who was on his uni break and also visiting his hometown) and in short hangouts begin to develop a small crush on him. I have a hard rule about not falling for someone in a relationship, but I had learned that in his last relationship he was open and while I would never think to try anything, I let myself have hesitant feelings. We went to the SF MOMA during my trip, really only on a platonic excursion, though we both admit now that it felt like a date and our chemistry even back then in those circumstances was most definitely real. The funny part of this story is that after we went to the museum, I had him drop me off at my ex's place (lol.) I fly back to new york with Natasha and from time to time I begin to text Colin. Sometimes it was brief about an artist we had a shared liking for, music we were listening to (he has perfect taste,) or book recommendations. One night we text until 7 am my time (4am his time, he went to uni in portland,) and it was really then that I knew that he had the exact characteristics and soul that I could fall madly in love with. Some more time passes, he's living across the country and still in a long distance open relationship and I'm in another situationship that wasn't developing anywhere. Him and his ex part ways and I am sporadically going on random dates. Speaking of this time of my dating fiascos, I went on a date with someone to a museum upstate and ended up buying a postcard with the intention of sending it to Colin. That begins our real love affair! We start sending snail mail nonstop and I hint to him that I will be back in California, where he would return to after graduating uni that spring. August 2023 I am in LA with my friends and he tells me that he's been thinking about visiting his grandma who lives in southern california. To sweeten the deal I tell him about the book fair that printed matter is hosting in LA, and that if he comes down, we should go together. He (obviously) drives down and the morning of the book fair, he picks me up from my friend's place and we spend the day together. The date actually didn't end for almost 36 hours since he ends up staying the night and we spend the rest of the next day together. Before he drives back up to the bay, we spend one more day together and it was genuinely the happiest I've ever felt. I fly back to New York and he goes on a family trip to Japan and our feelings for each other sort of blossom and we end up writing emails to each other back and forth every day.

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wolfiemcwolferson · 1 year

Note

“I wanna get better”

Ok, this is more sad. Piarles. (I went cuckoo. sorry) CW for mental health stuff

Pierre in the midwest going to university while living at home - commuting 45 minutes to campus three days a week, driving to their research facility one day, and working on his dad's farm the other three.

Spending late nights when he can't sleep wandering through a pasture with a headlamp and his dog while he thinks about living on a coast - somewhere he can stand on a beach and feel small in a really different way - thinking about that time he was eight and his parents drove them all to the Californian coast and he knew what happiness was.

He goes to parties with his friends and he wants to feel something, but the girl he was dating for 2.5 years dumped him last year when he started anti-depressants because she couldn't get it and he can't get himself to ask out the girl in his physics class that has made it really clear that she likes him and he's like, trying really hard to make it work.

He starts his third year and his dad is asking him when he starts his practicum for his teacher's exam and Pierre doesn't know how to tell him he's been thinking about applying to grad school or that he's been seeing the therapist at university or that he's having those discount medical cards sent to his friends dorm room mailing address so he can pay cash for anti-depressants without his parents finding out, but he's making it, you know? He's making it.

And then he's sitting in the library right before his 21st birthday and he's got like 15 open tabs for colleges on the coast that offer master's degrees in biology and that's when Charles flops down in front of him, laughing and asking if he can sit with him. "Sorry if this is weird, but everywhere else is full and I just...really have to try and figure this shit out or I will fail this biology exam."

Pierre is entranced by him and obviously offers to help. Clears his throat a little and asks, "who's the professor?" and slides the textbook over to him, to highlight the important information, but he slides his computer away and Charles is laughing again. "Are you transferring to South Carolina?" before squinting. "Oh god, tell me I haven't managed to find the only other person from South Carolina?"

Pierre shakes his head. Explains he's thinking about going to grad school there and instead of him helping him with Biology, he's slowly being told about all the best places to hang out and all the spots that Charles loves and how he's really actually cold and miserable and he's been flirting with the idea that he will transfer and finally Pierre is like, "I'm so sorry, but I have to go to class, but I will help you with this. Give me your number and we can set something up." And Charles is so shameless like "God, I didn't even have to work to get you to ask me for my number." and obviously Pierre can't take it back, just blushes and laughs it off, but god. It sits heavy in his heart.

He sees Charles two days later and helps him with his biology, but he also looks at his dimples and watches the way he drags his vowels and he waits and waits and waits while he tells long and rambly stories that don't mean anything. And so when he says into the abyss of his car on his drive home that night, "I think I might be gay" and it doesn't scare him the way he thinks it will, he texts Charles and asks if he wants to go grab lunch with him - no biology homework this time.

It's a very fast and mad descent into being in love for the first time.

Pierre is so incredibly busy, but he's lying to his parents about school work and he's driving into town to spend whole days in Charles' dorm room, licking up his neck and explaining biology homework to him in great detail and learning about himself and about Charles in return and it's a bit like standing in the ocean again for the first time.

Charles understands loss and he understands that Pierre feels like he's trapped in a box and he makes him laugh and he makes him feel like he's on top of the world and they're sneaking around and it's everything young love should be.

Charles tells him he's staying for May-mester too because there's this class he needs and it's only offered in the summer and so Pierre knows they have four months together and he plans on making every single day count.

It's just that...he maybe gets so wrapped up in Charles, in thinking this was the thing missing from his life that he stops...filling his prescription and he...goes a bit wobbly in May.

Charles has class four days a week and Pierre doesn't have class at all and his dad finds out that he's been seeing someone from school and he kind of goes to the dark place and I think they have a really nasty fight the last week of May and Pierre accuses Charles of not giving him enough time and Charles is like, I can't go anywhere with you I can't go home I can't go to restaurants I can't do anything so how?

He goes to see Charles the night before his flight back to SC and Charles says, "I love you, but I think you need to...figure some stuff out."

And Pierre is...still at home. Watching Charles have the summer of his life in South Carolina before Charles posts a really vague thing at the beginning of August about being home and then he calls that night - for the first time all summer and Pierre gets really excited. Thinks he's coming back.

"I'm transferring, Pierre." Charles tells him quietly. "I just...I need to get my shit together. I was barely going to class last semester and I just...I can't be the only thing you have in your life. It's not good for either of us."

Pierre has half a dozen half finished applications and two letters of recommendation and an expired anti-depressant prescription and he decides that he can't do this. He can't be the person who has half a life because he's scared or can't get his shit together.

The next year is really really hard and it goes something like this: He tells his parents about the anti-depressants and he comes out and he tells them he wants to go to grad school and his dad is furious, but his mom holds him and cries and helps him make a list of what he needs to do. He applies to six grad programs. He takes his anti-depressants everyday and he goes to therapy and he tries really hard. He graduates with two acceptances and he has a text from Charles congratulations on graduating and it's the first contact they've had in months since Pierre unfollowed him on Instagram and it doesn't feel like it's going to kill him and he texts him back and thanks him and tells him he hopes he's happy. Charles reads it but doesn't respond. Pierre goes on a couple of dates with a guy he met online that summer, but he tells him he's going to grad school in the fall and so they remain friends and that's really it.

The fic ends with Pierre moving into his new apartment right off campus, meeting his roommates in person for the first time and they ask if he wants to go out that night as a welcome dinner and he's like, SURE.

They all walk into this place with garage sides that roll up and foamy beer and it's just so...Pierre can almost smell the ocean from here and he feels alive - just like he did when he was eight and just like he did when he fell in love with Charles and just like he did when his therapist hugged him during their last session and told him she was proud of him.

He's being introduced to one of his roommate's friends from his grad program and Pierre hears him - Charles.

He turns around and he's there. Talking to a group of people, laughing and talking too loudly like he's prone to doing, but he turns immediately when Pierre says his name. "Charles."

His eyes go wide and Pierre thinks he's pissed but then he's throwing himself across the group of people and Pierre almost tips backwards catching him and Charles is laughing. "What are you doing here? What are you doing here? Oh my god. Are you starting school here?"

And Pierre laughs, telling him that he is. he's starting his grad program next week - is Charles on vacation or?

"I transferred in. I finished my associate's at the junior college back home and I - this was my number one pick." Charles laughs and pulls his phone out. "I think I'm gonna need a lot of biology help this semester."

Pierre puts his number in. "Why the hell are you taking biology? Don't tell me you're trying to -"

"Pierre." Charles laughs, "It's a line. I'm never taking another biology class in my life. I'm just getting your number."

"Oh," PIerre smiles before handing the phone back.

"Listen, I do have to get back to my friends because they will lock me out of the apartment tonight, but I will text you okay? And we'll get together and talk, yeah? I know it's shit of me to say, but I've thought about you like, every single day and this is...kismet or something."

Pierre nods and accepts the hug and when he turns back to his roommates, he shrugs and says, "It's my ex." and they all laugh.

He doesn't stay his ex, and Pierre goes to therapy and takes his anti-depressants and he and Charles sit on the beach for hours and they talk about everything and nothing and Pierre reminds himself that he always wants to get better.

#piarles #sorry for being insane #it will happen again #fic titles

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harryleatherfit · 1 year

Text

Upper East Side || AU

Chapter 1: The Letter

word count: 3740

warnings: mentions of unavailable parents, smoking, mentions of bad sex (BYE)

if i’ve missed any let me know!

authors note- hi!! first chapter is finally up! this may take me a while to plan but this whole plot i have makes me so excited to write. this is my first fic but pedro pascal has taken me off my harry styles feet and wow. god bless the met gala seriously.

🪩Main Master List 🪩 Series Master List🪩

—————————

“Hey have you checked the mail? You have a big ass envelope saying NYU on it!”

You immediately sprung from your bed.

You and and your best friend Laylah have been roommates all throughout college, deciding to stay in the dorms of UNCSA for summer because you both couldn’t commit to an apartment or afford moving back in with either of your parents.

Your senior years were 3 months away, and you both took this last summer to work, study, and humanly live. Laylah was majoring in Wig and Makeup Design, as you were majoring in Acting for film. The last three years have been a buildup to your applications for senior year at Tisch. The School of the Arts at NYU in New York City. Known for its alumni and seriousness in the performance world. You guys both decided to apply just to see what would happen, against all the odds. With no idea how to pay for it, it’d only be one final year for the both of you. No matter what jobs would be found, money would be made.

Before the previous school year ended, you played Sally Bowels in Cabaret and Laylah did the makeup for the whole company. A team from Ticsh came down to North Carolina to see one night of the show. It was the most exhilarating experience. The audience was packed, and you never let yourself slip up once, feeling the character in your heart. You were genuinely proud of your work, but the following day was your Spring Concert Recital and you had a feeling that the whole team from the awaiting college was going to go to that as well.

They did. You could see the bunch in the corner of the theater. Your eyeline was just catching them in the blinding light.

It had made you really fucking nervous but your voice teacher, Ms.Kim, let you know they left some comments, you didn’t care to listen.

Luckily Laylah already got in, she found out 3 days ago and this was the best news. Your best friend got into NYU Tisch. She’s fucking best of the best. You were truly happy for her, no matter if you didn’t get in.

“Go on, open it.” Pushing the envelope towards you.

You take the envelope and slowly, slicing it with your fingernail, pulling the paper out slowly.

You blanked and could barely speak. “Congratulations on your acceptance TO NYU TISCH SCHOOL OF THE ARTS.” You yelled.

Cheers and fits of screams came from you and Laylah. This was happening.

“Holy shit. Holy fucking shit, you realize what this means? We’re moving to New York City, TOGETHER! We're going to college with the pretentious shits at the best arts school in this damned country!” She cheered.

You couldn’t believe it, all your dreams and hopes bundled into one piece of paper, so much could happen in that city within one year. The year of growth and connections.

“We have to immediately start packing, oh my god. Make the long haul with all our shit. Goodbye North Carolina!” She skipped around the tiny room.

You weren’t too sad about leaving either, you’d miss Ms. Kim, but she would always be at your hand in a call. You’d need to meet with her to talk about the practicalities about what needed to happen in your year, but that can wait. You wouldn’t miss anyone, you had Laylah. She was the only person you needed. Your parents didn’t care about any fucking thing you did. You were independent and free from them. You would possibly call them during Christmas to catch them up, but that was if you were feeling generous.

Your dreams are finally real.

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“Ms. Kim! Over here!”

You were meeting up for the last time at a coffee shop. Your last day in this wretched town. Winston-Salem was not for the weak. Fucking red-necks.

“Oh sweetheart, I’m so proud of you! I knew you’d get accepted. Laylah get in?

“Yes!”

“Oh my sweeties, the dynamic duo! You’re the best actor this school has.”

“Please, I’m physically not and could never be.” You laughed.

“Well you’re my favorite so I can say that.” She smiled.

“I’m nervous Ms.Kim.” You felt tears start to shed. “I feel like I don’t deserve this, I know I worked hard and my years here are paying off but I’m so scared. What happens after college? Where is this money going to come from for the both of us? How are we going to be able to properly care for ourselves if we don’t immediately get into the industry?” You felt defeated.

“Do not let this get in the way of your determination. Do not let money hangover your head. Show that hoity toity school what they're worth. You’re truly the best talent I’ve seen in years of my teaching. I’m not just saying that honey, you will have the world at your feet.” Her southern accent shining through. “Did you ever listen to those comments I sent to you?”

“No, I couldn't. I was going to feel physically sick if I did. I also seriously couldn't bare to hear myself in the background.”

“Enough of that nonsense. You have the voice of an angel. Don’t worry I listened and you seriously have nothing to worry about. They all loved you, I’m serious.”

“Okay okay I believe you!” You giggle.

“Good. You have to believe in yourself, New York will be brutal. You can’t shut down or shut anyone out. You have to see yourself at the end. Let Laylah bring you back to life when you’re feeling down. You have to audition for everything and anything. Try to get into those school shows. Be nice to your professors and don’t build an ego.”

“I know I know.”

“If you need anything, I can always fly up and help you with anything.”

“Ms. Kim, thank you for everything. After high school, and my parents I was so lost but you helped me find my path. You were the one that helped me decide my future. I owe this to you.” You hug her.

“No honey, you owe this to yourself.”

——————————

You owe this to yourself.

“You okay?” Laylah looked over. She took over the driving, you were tired from crying.

“I don’t know I’m so damn emotional, I’ve lived here for like forever and I’m scared for the good change.”

“See.” She poked you. “It's a good change. You can come back one day and feel proud. Who knows we could end up staying in New York for forever. Start living there. We could be 23 and be able to show this city up.”

“Don’t get too hype, we have to move in first and meet people, introduce ourselves. Everyone already knows each other. First week of classes will be hell, those professors probably already know all of them.” You reply.

“Oh my god, we have to check out the hotties, there has to be so many. All those rich parties we could get into.” Laylah said.

“No, they’re all gonna be weirdo theater kids stuck in their hometowns. Just watch.” You smile.

You did theater, but you were not an obscenely obsessed Broadway kid growing up. You acted because it was the only way you could express your feelings.

“You're right but just you watch, someone will sweep you off your feet in no time and you won’t even realize it. It could possibly be a weirdo theater kid that you fall madly in love with.”

“Oh yeah and you could fall in love with a sound and lighting engineer, just our luck.” You laugh out loud.

Maybe this was your chance to branch out. Open your heart.

Previously in college you had a fling with a film major, but it felt too real and you couldn’t commit. You didn’t want to waste his time and you were too caught up with the show you were in for school. You felt like there was someone else out there for you. If you committed to him, that was it and you still felt too young to date. High School you only focused on your studies and couldn’t give less of a fuck on teenage boys. You only wanted to focus on your GPA and your friends.

You couldn't put your finger on it but New York just felt like a magnet to you. You wanted love. You wanted it to engulf you, make you feel heavenly, feel sick. You wanted to feel butterflies. You wanted the love of a relationship to feel like this person was your best friend, like you didn’t have to hide anything. No matter what state of life you were in, the value of love was always there.

You watched your parents' marriage fall apart as a young girl and it broke you. If you were to get married it would be a one and done deal. If you were ever cheated on, you would vow to never date again. Seal yourself off to your work. It’s what you already know what to do best.

You kept thinking it all over. You also wanted good fucking sex. Your fling was lame and boring. He could never make you cum like your vibrator could. His dick could never get you off, you felt guilty, but you just wanted more. You wanted the best sex that would make your body convulse, make you see stars. You wanted to be worshiped and praised. And you fucking needed someone who shared your sex drive.

No one these days can make a girl squirt. It’s fucking annoying. It’s not computer science. Stick your damn fingers up there, or watch a youtube tutorial.

“Remember Liam?” Laylah asked. She pulled out her dab pen and handed it to you.

“I was literally just thinking about him, holy shit.” You took a hit, this was going to be a long drive.

“Yeah he’s an example of what not to date, he bored you out. He wasn’t good for you. He didn’t match your passion and level of love.”

Passion.

“Life is gonna be real good in about 9 hours.” You giggle. Everything felt bubbly and surreal.

Due West by Kelsey Lu was blasting in the and you dozed off watching Laylah’s hair blow in the wind.

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You’ve gotten food on the road. Stretched out at Gas stations, but you finally arrived at your big destination. Laylah parked your car, you both had to go to the admission office to figure out your dorm situation, get your keys. Figure out the whole school.

You walked into the big historic building, you were taken aback at how beautiful the architecture was, you were even shocked by the city it was- it was later at night and all the lights were twinkling. You didn’t care if you looked like you were a tourist. This was one of the moments you could pocket.

You looked up through the school and there was a man staring down at you from a level above. You caught a glimpse of him before he walked away quickly. You feel like you’ve seen him before. That was weird.

“Come on, they close soon, they're probably waiting for us.” L rushes.

You both walk through a door and are greeted by a lady at a desk.

“Hi my name is Laylah, we’re the transfers coming in from North Carolina.” That perked the woman's interest.

“Oh yes! We figured you two would be coming in any day now. I have everything laid out, a map of the school. Your cards for meal swipes, parking spot tag, dorm room keys. Now with the dorm room you both are in a suite with 2 others, but these girls are fantastic, they aren’t in your majors so you won’t see them much but this was approved by the dean.” She smiled.

Just great, you thought. Meeting people right off the bat. How fucking lovely. You needed more sleep, and a joint.

You chime in, “Excuse me where’s the bathroom.”

“Just to the left there sweetie.” She replies.

You had to severely piss from the gas station diet coke. As you were walking you passed by the same man you saw on the second floor. Your eyes felt too heavy but he looked interesting. You give a smile and walk on without thinking much of it.

---------------------------

“Before we knock we need a game plan.”

But before you could think of anything the door to your suite opened and you both were entranced with hugs.

What? You couldn’t get a good look at the girls.

“We haven’t seen you guys in so long! How long has it been?”

Now you see, it was Hannah and Rose from the high school over in your hometown. You all knew each other through theater of course. You didn’t think about them going to Tisch though. They were their school's own duo.

“No shit!” You yell.

“Come in, come in. We’ll wake up the whole building with our reunion.” Rose says.

How did the dean know? This was the best you could’ve gotten but how could the dean known to put you in a room with the 2 girls you knew from your hometown?

You look around the suite. The living area looks well decorated and smells fantastic. It’s all you could have ever wanted.

“Where's all your stuff?” Hannah asks.

“We thought to just get it in the morning, it's late and we’re exhausted.” Laylah replies.

“I know it’s late but this calls for Wine.” Rose chimes in.”

She gets out the glasses and the bottle, you think this is such a New York thing to do. You don’t want to get used to it.

“What are you majoring in?” You ask, slouching onto the couch.

“I’m going for Stage Managing, Hannah is majoring in Film.” That makes more sense. They went to this school because they both had the money.

“I hear miss Actor and Makeup’s names are being buzzed around the whole school.” Rose says slyly.

“No way, how?” You ask.

“Eh, it’s not common I won’t lie but it’s crazy that two people from the same school are here. We’ve also heard that you're both insanely good so people feel threatened in your areas.” She responds.

Wow. You thought, way to kick off the year.

“Anyway there's a meeting with all the teachers tomorrow morning. All 400 sum of us are required to go, you get to meet the teachers, it’s kinda like a big lecture. You can ask questions but it’s the kick off for a new arts year. Super important. You guys can make your big debut there!” Hannah finishes.

You needed a shower and to get your shit in your room, not a lump meeting with new people you were going to be working with for the whole year. Not to mention most of them were going to be Actors.

“Well in that case we should all go to sleep to look the best then, have to make a good first impression, right?” Laylah asks.

“Right!” Rose and Hannah get up and move to their room and you move to yours with Laylah. “Goodnight.”

The door closes behind you, you don't know what to feel. Happy? Sad? Angry? You want to be able to take control of your situation and just be liked. Not immediately hated. Please for fucks sake.

“Dab pen?” L offers.

“Dab pen.” You agree.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and Laylah wake up early enough to perfect your makeup, pick out the clothes you have in your bag you brought up to make a good outfit. You decide with a light lacy dress for the summer, Laylah going with a beautiful dark green corset with black jeans. Hopefully you both fit in with this city's culture.

You and Laylah follow Hannah and Rose through the school grounds. It’s beautiful during the day. Not one person knows you at NYU and you feel reset.

You walk into this building and follow the girls into an auditorium. You immediately see it full in the center. Good you guys can sit in the back. You smell the auditorium. Notice your spatial awareness, look at the catwalk, look at who's on the stage. You immediately feel at home.

More people walk in and as the auditorium fills, you can feel more eyes follow to your area. That’s not good.

“Welcome everyone!” You look to center stage and see a line of people standing. There's the same man you saw yesterday night.

“I’m one of the schools directors, I’m Ms. Roylance, this is your choral director Mr. Miller, this is your dance choreographer Mrs. Cheot, and this is your technical director, Mr. Morales.”

Mr. Morales. That's him.

“We are delighted to kick off an amazing school year! We were looking forward to announcing this year's musicals on Halloween, so don’t get your hopes up just yet!.” Ms. Roylance chuckles. “As you all know this fall play will be Macbeth, and we always do the nutcracker for our dancers in the winter.”

You heard murmurs from around the room. Lady M was a good one, truly. It made you cry. You wondered who would audition and how long you would annotate that script. Shakespeare was no joke. If you master the seriousness of Shakespeare in modern society then you would have respect from anyone in the industry.

“This year, we also have the privilege to put our shows on at a Broadway theater.”

The whole room felt like fire. Everyone was erupting into conversation.

“Please calm down, this is big news. There will be more information in the coming weeks. Now, we wanted to introduce you all to our new transfers for their senior years. Coming all the way from Winston Salem!”

As she calls your names, she tells you to come on up on the stage.

“What!” You look to Laylah in confusion.

You guys get up and walk slowly to the stage. Now everyone was looking at you. You remained your eyes on the floor. You walked up the stairs and your heart started to race.

“Would you guys like to say anything?” Ms. Roylance starts to hand the mike to you, but you side step to let it be handed to Laylah. There was no way you were going to speak.

Laylah looks up, “Hi everyone! I’m Laylah, we're from UNCSA, we’re both really honored to be able to have our Senior year here. I think from the start of time we both wanted to come here and live in New York City.” She laughs.

You’ve been looking down the entire time, holding your hands. The skin of your fingers were going to go raw if you kept picking them. Everyone was looking at you, but the only eyes that mattered were Mr. Morales.

It felt like he was engulfing you with his dark gaze. You wanted to shift your body movement to get a complete look at him but you couldn’t move. You felt stuck. In the corner of your eye you could feel him. Was he smiling or frowning? Was he going to talk to you after this? Were you going to have to talk to all of them after this?

You could see his tall figure, he was in a suit, his brownish gray hair. His hands in his pockets. It unsettled you. Would he be one of your teachers?

Laylah pushed the microphone to you, shit what were you going to say?

“Hi.” You felt like Edward Cullen. The customer service smile was fucking real. “We just came in last night. I’m so excited to be here. This city has been my dream for so long, I think all of ours. I feel honored to be able to work with all of you, and teachers.” You moved to see the adults standing and you got a good look at him. He was breathtaking, it made you blank.

“Um, from a young age acting felt natural to me, making people feel what I feel on stage or through a screen. I’m not really good with words, but I feel emotions really hard and I want people to be able to feel me when I act. I know this will never happen but if there is ever a chance I could change someone’s life up on a stage, then I’ve done my job. I don’t know if that makes any sense.” You laugh. “But seriously we’re both extremely honored to be here. I genuinely would love to meet all of you. Thank you.” You hand the microphone back and the crowd claps for you two.

Your hands felt pruney. That was the longest 5 minutes ever.

Was he still staring at you? You get back into your seat and Hannah and Rose pat you on the back.

Mr. Morales looked like a deer in headlights, he excused himself from the panel. That got your attention.

Why were you so curious about a man, probably 15 years older than you at that, and could possibly be your teacher?

After the teachers finished, people came up to you to introduce themselves, having a slight conversation. There were a few people that would pass you and just glare. You definitely felt like you didn’t belong, but in due time you and Laylah would make your place here.

The money in this room overwhelmed you. It’s all you could think about. They all must have thought that we weren’t good enough to be here. You’d both show them.

You told Hannah and Rose you’d meet back with them in a few hours, you guys wanted to just sit in the House and chat, look around the campus.

Once the whole room was cleared you got up and dragged Laylah to the stage. It was huge.

“What are you doing?” She laughed.

“This is a celebration. I'm gonna sing a loud cheerful song to induct us into this amazing huge popular school.” You smile.

You start The Girl from Ipanema and Laylah starts giggling. You walk around her with her hands interlocked with yours, going in circles.

“Tall and tan and young and lovely the girl from Ipanema goes walking And when she passes Each one she passes goes, “Ah.” You sing.

You continue your little song with banter, and you look up just slightly to see someone watching you both in the back corner of the audience. It was him.

——

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