#cat grant: dramatic asshole

[boo8008]

Three Months - Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Fem!Reader Chapter 02: Mince

Prologue | Chapter 01: Quadriller | Chapter 02: Mince

Series Summery: Its been one year since The Bear's soft open, and with everything running smoothly, Carmen's lost in his thoughts, until the final table of the night is seated.

Warnings: angst | fluff | ghosting mention | mentions of suicide | language | mental health | pining | unrequited love????? | substances (alc & weed) | yelling | grief | descriptions of panic attacks | eventual smut | mention of covid | self doubt | no proofreading just sleep deprivation & back pain running this show | awkwardness & cringe of a new friendship/relationship/situationship

Chapter Summery: After the minor introduction of you and Carmy, your about to prepare the first dinner post Covid and before Stevie and Michelle leave, one Carmen is also coming to. Only cooking dinner is not going as smoothly as you'd hoped.

Mince (v.) - to finely divide food into uniform pieces smaller than diced or chopped foods, prepared using a chef's knife or food processor

Word Count: ~3,865

My Notes bb: Hey….. How yall doin? Sorry this took so long to get out, work and life suddenly got busy and I didn't have time to write. I hurt my back though so it kinda forced me to write and crank this out. Hopefully its not as bad I as I still feel like it is but yea. Again sorry this took so long to get out. Hope you enjoy! (ps my therapist thinks this is a decent outlet though lol thanks Sandra)

2021 (December)

Carmen hardly ever came to dinner after those first few weeks, and Michelle said something about him working at Eleven Madison Park. While you were happy he head ended up at the high end restaurant, you knew he was working under one hell of an asshole. He seemed to be doing fine enough though. Granted, you would only catch small glimpses of him on nights when you stayed later than intended and he walked only into his room to sleep, with just a small mumbled ‘hi’ thrown your way. Eventually he managed to move out on his own and only came to dinner about once every two months when Michelle would insist on it.

Once covid hit though, you'd basically lost contact with him. Michelle even rarely managed to drag him into group facetime calls with you. They were mainly her or Stevie recounting their last two weeks of quarantine in a dramatic fashion and you and Carmen would be  listening half heartedly. If Carmen was there, he seemed to just sit out on a fire escape in his building and smoke, thinking about other things. Everytime you picked up though, missing being around the two people you actually liked. You would use it as a little reprieve from writing yet another ‘easy recipes for quarantine’ article, or to have company while you organized and re-organised random spots throughout your apartment. 

Mostly though you would use it to get away from the depressive thoughts of ‘what am I doing with my life?’ or ‘if something happened to me, only Michelle and Stevie would really know.’ you didn't realize how much you missed being around people until you couldn't anymore, just stuck with yourself and your cat in your apartment. You missed the mindless chatter from coworkers at your office and in person interviews with cranky chefs because they gave you more to think about than yourself. All you began to think about was how bad the piece you were working on was, even if your editor said it was great. You felt tired and tired of being tired. All you wanted was to have a nice dinner with Stevie and Michelle, and fuck even hearing from Carmen would be amazing even if it was another awkward conversation with someone you just barely knew.

In short covid sucked ass and made your already anxious brain even worse. Not to mentioned your sense of time became fucked and all of your normally scheduled daily things also hard to keep track of. While quarantine had somewhat ended, you all found yourselves too busy trying to get back into the groove of ‘normalcy’ and offices to have dinner again, canceling for meetings or being too tired. Leading to today, when after months of planning and rescheduling you had completely forgotten that dinner was not only being held at you place, but you were also cooking because Michelle and Stevie had nothing in their kitchen because they were leaving two weeks early to isolate before Christmas in Chicago, and to top it all off, Carmen was (for once) coming to dinner. You remembered only when Stevie sent you a text asking what time worked best to come over, and not wanting to cancel for the tenth time, you told them 7:00. So you left work early to run for the subway, then run to the grocers to get real food, and then ran home to start cooking. 

Only cooking was not going as planned. 

It was 6:30 and dinner was nowhere near done. It was like you had forgotten everything you knew about actually cooking, and you’re a food journalist for Christ's sake! This should have been something you could do fairly easy! You write about things like this all the time! Yet here you are, chicken suddenly burning in the oven from when you stepped away to check your recipe to make sure everything was going okay and you that were good to start the pasta. You quickly removed the now pucks from the oven and turned it off. You resolved to just sitting on the floor across from your oven and crying, thinking about where it all went wrong-not the dinner but everything. Quiet sobs racked your body as you sad down on your kitchen floor, forgetting about your phone and the fact your last text said “doors unlocked when you get here”.

Carmen didn’t want to go to dinner but knew he wouldn't hear the end of it from Michelle if he didn’t show up. And to be frank he wanted her to stop calling him a hermit too. So he grabbed his jacket after lunch service and headed home to shower and change, doing his best to not think of his shitty boss saying he was worthless for taking one evening off. He hadn't done that even during covid, constantly asking what the plan was or if the kitchen was open. He decided to head out early to your place sending a quick text and leaving. As he approached your door he could definitely smell burning, very unlike the pre-covid dinners you made. While not Michelin level, what you made were perfect home cooked and leftover meals to him. A nice change from his go to PB&Js with Doritos and a Coke. He checked his phone again making sure the apartment number was right and reread your last text again. He still knocked on the door before he opened it, out of habit. 

“Yo its me,” Carmen called out, peeling off his jacket as he looked around the entryway of your small apartment. You jumped at the knock and stood up as the door opened, and as Carmen called out, you turned to face the sink in your kitchen.

“In here!” your voice was wobbly but you preyed he wouldn't notice. Carmen followed the sound and walked into the kitchen, seeing the blackened chicken on the stove and the mess of the rest of the kitchen. 

“Jesus, the fuck did you try to cook?” he said it without thinking, and immediately you broke again. Crumbling in on yourself and to tired to try and hide it. Tears raining down your face and carmen short circuited, watching as you again sunk to the floor in a puddle. 

“Shit fuck I-I’m sorry. Fuck! Wh-what can I do? What do you want me to do? Fuck sorry I-I’m bad at this.” he panics as he looks down at you crying. “Wh-want me to go? I-I can go- I should go. Shit, Sorry again.” 

“S-s-stay?” 

“What?” Carmen's pretty sure he heard wrong, after all he just caused you to meltdown from his social awkwardness. 

“S-stay?” you say more clearly. You don't know why you ask it, let alone how it crawls out of your crying, shaking self. Its been so long sense you've been near someone else even a little close to you so maybe that's it. He stops for a minute looking down at you as you look up at him still crying. “Please?”

“... O-okay.” 

He isn't sure why he stays, or why he sits down next to you while you cry, but he does. The apartment is quiet outside of you sniffles and the occasional sob but carmen stays put. Neither of you realize how much you've started leaning towards each other until your head  is lightly lying on his shoulder. You’ve mostly stopped crying now but your face is still wet and your eyes are puffy. 

He isn't sure what to say, with his mom asking if you were okay was off limits. It made everything worse. It lead to screaming and yelling and throwing things. He thinks about what someone normal, someone like Stevie, or Pete, or Natalie, what they would ask someone they hardly know if they saw them having a panic attack and decides to just do it, praying you’d be somewhat normal compared to his mother.

“You-you okay?” you'd almost forgot he was there, even if you were leaning on him, and sat up straighter, wiping your face.

“Yea, I’m-I’m sorry dinners ruined and for getting like that,” you say. Tears of embarrassment springing up at knowing that this (basically) stranger saw you cry. 

“No no your fine-your cool,” he can feel panic rising again at making you cry again. “No no no offense but I-I was kinda in the mood for pizza anyways.” He's only partly lying, he wanted a home cooked meal but the pizza place he passed on his way here smelled greasy and amazing on his empty stomach. 

“Are you sure? I still have the kitchen to clean and I just don't want you all to think that I don't care o-or anything that i-its our last dinner before you guys go back to Chicago for Christmas and I just-” 

“Yea, your fine , its fine if we have pizza, I’ll text Michelle to grab it on their way over, they wont mind.”

“Okay…” you mumble, caving in on the choice of pizza and leaning your head back on the cabinet behind you. Carmens already pulling his phone out of his pocket when he spots the new texts from Stevie and Michelle on his lock screen. 

Stevie: ‘Sorry gang, we dont think we can make it tonight, we still have a lot to pack 😕’

Michelle: ‘Yea I’m sorry i know its so close to dinner but maybe you two can get along without us????’ 

Michelle: ‘Sorry again lovelies xoxo 😘’

Michelle: ‘Dont be a dick carm 💛😘’

“Well fuck,” Carmen mumbled. He was now on his own to make conversation. “Looks like its just us for dinner. ‘Said they still have packing to do.”

“Oh,” was all you could think to say. Of course the universe would have the only two people you could actually converse with busy on the one night you were meant to see them. 

“Yea…” Carmen wasn't sure how to proceed. Does he leave cause the only bridge between you both isn't showing? Does he stay because he already committed to dinner? God he feels so awkward.

“Well we could still get pizza?” you ask. “I mean you came all this way so it kinda feels like a waste.”

“You sure?”

“Yea, I mean I still gotta clean the kitchen but theres a place around the corner thats amazing after crying,” you say with a bit of a laugh to help bring up the awkward mood.

“Let me help you and we can go?” he suggests, already rising to his feet and offering you a hand.

“Are you sure? I mean the chicken I think is welded on there at this point,” you say. As your taking his hand and he pulls you to stand from your floor, you see his forearms flex and your mind short circuits as you look probably a second longer than you need to at the muscles and veins there. Luckily he doesn't notice because he's already turning and grabbing the now cool baking sheet with the chicken on it. 

“Yea it’ll go faster, I think I can get this off too,”  Carmen quickly took charge of washing the bowls, cutting boards, and other kitchen utensils you had pulled out in your frenzy to cook dinner on time. 

In nearly no time at all the kitchen was clean and the two of you had left for the pizza parlor a block away. While yes the cleaning was a little awkward, the noise of the city on the walk made making any conversation difficult, meaning neither of you had to talk or struggle to make conversation. 

“Pepperoni good?” Carmen asked as the two of you stood awkwardly next to each other, both of your jackets zipped all the way up thanks to the near unbearable cold outside.

“Y-yea, they make bomb garlic knots too if you want some,” you responded, skimming over the menu even though you already knew what the plan was. 

“C-cool, um,” Carmen looked around the small shop, there was just the counter and a cooler for drinks, no seating. The place reminded him of the beef, dingy, and not that healthy, but god damn was this about to be the best food he could ever get. “Did you want to go back to your place? Cause… cause there's no tables and stuff…” Carmen cringed at the awkward way the words came out. 

“Yea if that's good with you?” you said taking a step forward, the two of you would look at each other before looking away, as if the tiled flooring was so interesting. You decided to take a page out of Stevie’s book, he was better with people than you were so you prayed the attempted joke would land. “I mean we could eat out in the cold if your more comfortable?” A smile pressed its way onto Carmen’s face and you considered that a victory. 

“Yea no, I love eating outside when its about to snow,” he snickered. “Reminds me of home.” You both shifted closer as the people in front of you pushed pass you both to leave with their pizzas. As you both stepped up to the counter Carmen was faster than you in not only placing the order, a large peperoni with a side of garlic knots, but also whipping out his wallet and paying, you on the other hand had barely stumbled out a hello and barely started shifting your bag to get out your own wallet by the time he was done.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you mumbled as you both stepped off to the side to wait.

“Yea well, its cool I got the money,” Carmen added. You only partly doubted it, he worked at the highest rated restaurant in the world but also lived in New York so it kinda balanced out. You both distracted yourselves for a few minuets looking at your phones, you taking to a word search game and Carmen playing the fun game of ‘who is this and why do I have their number?’ with his contacts. It felt a little more relaxing compared to earlier, more like the same air you both got when Stevie and Michelle would leave the room at your normal dinners, not pressured to talk but liking the fact another person was next to you.

“Order 447!” you and carmen both jumped as the number was yelled through the small shop. Carmen stepped forward and took the box and bag from the worker, turning to you, where you grabbed the bag and began to head out before he got up the words to protest that he's got it. 

Luckily the only awkward part of the walk back to your apartment was the elevator ride up. As you both stepped into your apartment you were both greeted by the loud yelling of your cat as she rounded the corner to yell at you for leaving for a whole 30 minuets.

“Yea yea your fine baby,” you told her as you took the pizza from Carmen. “You good with just sitting on the couch? I don't want to do anymore kitchen cleaning.”

“Heard,” Carmen carmen said as he took off his jacket. He was looking down at the feline weaving between his legs and bent down to let her sniff him so he could pet her, instead she smelt him and abruptly ran back deeper in the apartment and he smiled a little at the cat, following it with his eyes to you coming out of the kitchen with two cans of coke, paper plates, and paper towels. Something in him stirred at the mundane and domestic sight but he waved it off as more anxiety.

“Wait-shit-your not allergic to cats are you?” you asked panicked.

“N-no,” Carmen's voice broke a little as he said it and he cleared his throat. “No… My, um, my mom never let us have one when I was a kid, something about the furniture. I always wanted one though.” Why’d his voice break like that? Why’d he bring up his mom? Fuck now he's gonna have to explain everything.

“Cool-cool,” you were turning to head deeper into the apartment again and Carmen followed, getting a better look at the place now that he wasn't rushing to the kitchen. “That's Mince, cause when I got her she was tiny and I wasn't thinking ahead.” He took in the living room, a nice, small sectional couch with a blanket over the back was against one wall, and a tv with bookcases full of nick-nacks and heavy looking books with holiday lights around it. The center of the room had a buttery carpet and the coffee table with the pizza and garlic knots on it. 

“Make yourself at home,” you added. You’d never felt more aware of your actions than now, as Carmen looked at more of your space with posters and pictures around it and you were just trying to tell yourself to act normal. He took in the dining table with four perfectly mismatched chairs that was tucked into a corner on the other side of the wall from the kitchen. Mince catches his attention from the couch, batting at his hand from her spot on the arm rest. He again goes to pet her only for her to skip off and run to the opposite end where you are. Carmen finally takes a seat on the couch, the two of you as far as you could be. You both dig into the pizza and Carmen can’t help but think about how good it is. 

“Fuck,” he groaned. It definitely compensates for the shitty morning he had and the rollercoaster of emotions he felt around you.

“Right?” you said through a smile. You were turning on the tv and poking around for something to watch. 

“‘S so fucking good,” he said through another bite. “Chicago is still better though.” he mumbled.

“Fuck off,” you finally settled on Bobs Burgers that you left off on. You both ate in a mostly comfortable silence, focusing on the show and avoiding looking at each other. Once you felt you were full you settled back into the couch, and glanced at carmen sitting in your space, he had made himself more comfortable, and he looked nice there, leaned up against the arm of the couch with one arm draped over the back of the couch fiddling with a part of the blanket and his legs spread wide. You shifted your focus back to the television not wanting to make it more weird. 

“So… did you finish packing already?” you settled on conversation to distract you from the thought of crawling into his lap. “For Chicago I mean.”

“Oh um,” Carmen was a little startled by the sudden conversation, but fuck it you already cried in front of him today, it was his turn to share. “N-no I’m just staying here, rather not watch my mom drive the car through a wall and my brother fight my uncle again.”

“Jeez, I’m sorry,” Steve had told you some of what happened that Christmas, mainly summarized as a big blowout of a fight between Michelle’s cousin Mikey and her kinda-uncle Lee, and her aunt Donna driving her car through the living room. God why'd you bring this up? He probably didn't want to talk about it. “Did you have any plans then?” Please let this be a decent change of topic you think.

“Just work, go home, smoke and eat, sleep, just like the last two years,” he says with a sigh. “Wh-What about you?”

“No, I was just gonna stay in and watch some movies.” Carmen answers with an affirming ‘hm’, not wanting to overstep and ask more questions. Even with the both of you wanting to talk more, neither of you know how to go from here. You turn you attention back to the television as Carmen turns his head a little to quietly observe you. 

Curled up in the corner of the couch in a cozy, old, and ratty sweatshirt with some leggings and fuzzy holiday grippy socks, hair down, and face still a little puffy from the winter air and your tears, but still beautiful in the darkening light of your apartment, mundanely so. Not a supermodel ripped from the cover of vogue, or an unobtainable influencer with hair and makeup perfectly placed for pictures. You look like you belong there. You look real. Cozy and warm on your couch with the lights from the streets down below hitting you just so. Home he thinks, before quickly turning his attention back to the tv. Its not like he’d ever have a shot with you anyways, he’s always too busy, or too angry, or too much of an asshole in general. Where’d all of those thoughts even come from? He hardly ever felt at home with anyone, especially outside of the kitchen. 

As the show plays on the two of you get lost in it and enjoying the act of being alone together, occasionally steeling glances at each other. You find yourself kind of liking being with him, not necessarily talking or interacting but the feeling of another person in the same room as you feels nice. Carmen won't say it but he's enjoying himself too. The show and coziness of your apartment make him feel relaxed more than his barren dingy apartment ever could, and the abundance of stuff artfully placed helps give him something to look at and think on rather than get lost in his anxiety and self doubt. Why does she have a Halloween decoration out its December…right? He thinks. Your both trying to think on how to ask for what you want but you beat him too it. Probably because you grew up with Steve and his weird ball of encouragement always on your side.

“Did you want to hang out? On Christmas I mean,” you finally get the courage to ask. Phew, not that bad.

“I mean I-I don't want to intrude,” Carmen starts. “Plus I have work the next day.”

“You could sleepover? If-if you want,” you prepose. “We can still smoke, eat, and sleep if you want. All the traditions you enjoy, a-and I don’t think I’m far from the line you need?” 

You definitely aren't. In fact your apartment is somehow on a faster route to work than his own. The only reason you know is because of the Bake It Nice pop up bakery Eleven Madison Park does once a month that you always try to make time for. Carmen thinks on it for a second, and your sure he's looking for a way to let you down nicely.

“You sure your okay with me leaving at 5:00 in the morning?” he asks. 

“Absolutely,” you say with a smile, and something in Carmen stirs. “Plus I can pass the fuck out again when you leave anyways.” he smiles at that, still unsure what feeling he's having right now, but he likes it.

“Okay,” he says and you both return you attention back to the show smiling like children. Your legs a little more outstretched towards carmen and his body begging to sink further into your couch. Relaxing to the feeling of you.

[casanovawrites]

random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 3

if you’ve got something good, that just means someone wants to take it, right?

i am not gonna watch that happen again.

i like rules. they bring order to the chaos.

you’re my favorite person in the world, but you’re acting weird.

i don’t want to be anyone’s hero. i just want to be safe and boring and happy.

we did so many bad things. it’s all burnt in my brain.

i know that i am flawed, but i am trying to be better.

if you think i’m a killer, prove it.

i’m, like, perpetually single.

no one in the world had more reasons not to believe in me, but you still did.

everyone expects me to have it all together, but i just don’t.

i don’t care what other people think about me. your opinion is the only one that mattered.

if you’re always a disappointment, then it’s impossible to disappoint.

i got so wrapped up in my own dreams and feelings. i took what we had for granted.

what we are to each other is so much more complicated than any stupid wife or husband or girlfriend. 

it’s too much for me, you needing me.

i want us to go back. back before the mistakes, the lies. back to when we were unstoppable. 

i guess all the time i feel like i’m kind of trapped because i can’t describe how i’m feeling.

you deserve better than me.

everyone keeps saying the only thing that will make this better is time and maybe space.

i didn’t want you to leave last night. 

got to clear the skies for some blue skies, right?

i just don’t want to get hurt again.

everything’s still unresolved, you know?

nobody deserves romance more than you. 

i don't know when i'm going to get over this. but i want to be beside you when that day comes.

is it cold in here, or is it just me?

i’ll get blamed if something bad happens to you.

i’ve got one rule for you. dance with me.

why is this so hard?

can we keep having dramatic yet memorable dates?

if you tell me right now that you’ll never forgive me until the end of time, i’ll leave you alone.

i’m not the problem. you are.

you two are weird in all the same ways. 

forget other people’s definitions. be who you want to be.

if i love you now, imagine how much i’ll love the person you become?

i just don’t see it adding up to happiness for any of us.

i kind of felt like you were running away from me.

i’m not a stranger. i’m just strange. 

every time i do something to be happy, someone gets hurt. 

all year, i’ve tried to do the right thing, but what do i get in return?

you strike me as a queen without her crown.

we’ll always find our way back to each other. 

what’s the point of fighting so hard to stay alive if we’re just going to die alone?

you know there’s a chance. that’s what you can’t square. that’s what hurts.

things went bad for you, things went bad for me.

it’s not that i’m like you. it’s that i love you.

i’m losing my fucking mind, and i’m terrified. 

you knocked me off balance in a good way.

he knew what to do. he always did. and he was a fucking asshole about it.

you should get the hell away from me. i’m poison. i ruin people.

you sound like a bad romantic comedy.

i think we can make long distance work.

you’re not a victim. you’re a killer.

i know kids lie to their parents about stuff,  but you don’t do that. it’s not you. 

you can come back from this. i know you can. you have to. 

people die, they become a threat.

you’re either the cat or the mouse.

when you go down, i hope i’m there to see it.

we’ve always needed each other. that’s what our entire relationship’s been about.

i’m not evil. i just did an evil thing, one i deeply regret.

[damelola]

6 for Supercat and 9 for Deborah/Ava!

6. what would each partner say is their own best quality?

Well, Cat has sort of a list? Um, it goes on for a while. There's her brilliance, her business acumen, her communication skills, that rockin' bod, her capacity for winning, a recently discovered aptitude for ax-throwing... but if you get her three drinks in, when the Cat Grant Bravado has calmed the hell down? She'd tell you with no small amount of pride that it's being a good mother to Carter. The Adam stuff? She's still making peace with, but she really has put in the work to get it right second time out.

Kara would blush and claim she doesn't have one, because who talks about themselves that way? Cat would keep interrupting with all the things she loves about Kara, until Kara has to physically shush her and quietly admit that she's proud of her compassion. That's at the core of everything she does, both as a reporter and as a superhero. Caring about other people is cool, okay?

9. Who’s most likely to murder to protect someone?

My kneejerk reaction was oh for sure, Deborah. Mostly because lies about the fire or not, she has that spark of danger to her. That inability to forgive could be a real trigger point, too.

It's not that Ava doesn't care as deeply, although she is affected by Gen-Z malaise enough that it might rein in murderous levels of passion, but she's just generally not together enough to commit a murder. Manslaughter? Oh for sure. She could stumble into killing someone because they came for Deborah. But she's not going to be hatching plans over a matcha latte.

So that brings us back to Deborah. We've seen that she loves fiercely and not always in conventional ways. Killing someone to protect Ava (or DJ for that matter) would be something she could absolutely live with, within her own moral universe.

[fictorium]

Cat Grant Appreciation Week

Day 4: Favourite inspiring speech or advice.

This is a breakup scene. It packs more punch than Kara’s actual breakups, for a start. Cat is hurt. By the end, Kara is devastated. But even in such an emotionally charged exchange, Cat is still bringing it as a mentor. 

She isn’t even mean. Not in the way she could have been. Kara gave Cat something so unexpected: a chance to know the son she gave away. Not only by getting him there, but by smoothing the path once Adam arrived. So when he showed an interest in her assistant? Cat saw a way not just to get him, but to keep him.

Who better to trust than it’s worth it, family always is Sunny Danvers? Surely she’s the last person to send Adam away. She does, and she breaks Cat’s heart right along with it.

Does Cat call her names? Threaten to fire her again? No. She uses her own failings, the ones so freshly dragged to the surface, and gives Kara a lesson from them. About priorities, about putting the work before the people you care about. About the difference between a career (a calling) and a life. A whole and happy life.

In fact, from this moment on, I think our relationship should be strictly professional. Boss, employee. That way, everything is very clear. Nobody gets confused. Nobody gets hurt.

It’s a rejection, one that stings Kara (and Cat herself, honestly) but in a lot of ways it’s the best possible decision for Kara’s job security and progression. In theory. We all know it’s better when they’re close, when they’re up in each other’s business, but when their personal lives have encroached on work this is probably smarter.

But the fact that even in heartbreak Cat still points out the mistakes to Kara gives away just how much she cares, how much she’s desperately trying not to. Sometimes the best advice is the toughest to hear.

[mitski]

cat grant does not disappoint.

[caycep]

undefined

“It’s very clear that James is... not happy seeing you with another man” she says with a broken voice.

[belle-keys]

Reflections: The way Grace brings out the worst in James (Necessary incongruity in characterization)

This is just something that came to mind, but James’ characterization used to seem so strange to me sometimes until it finally, like, hit me why that was. (N.B. I’m stupid and this entire point just occurred to me recently okay so don’t pop in my replies telling me everyone already knows this, let me be Captain Obvious.)

The first time we properly met James was in The Midnight Heir, back in 2014 if I’m not mistaken, and DEAR GOD ABOVE, I remember thinking this is the angstiest and darkest Shadowhunter boy yet. No really, TDA then happened and literally nothing Julian ever did topped The Midnight Heir for me in terms of “wow, I’m kinda terrified for this boy”.

Like, I was just so shocked at how James was characterized in that short story. In a single story he: shot at the ceiling with a gun, got mad drunk in public, disrespected Magnus, embraced ducks, disrespected Jem, almost let himself DROWN for God’s sake.

“He was nothing but a shadow among shadows again. He was an infuriating Cheshire cat of a boy, nothing left of him but the impression of his smile. “My father was cursed,” James said from the darkness. “Whereas I? I’m damned.”

THIS WAS SO WILD MAN? Like this shit is so darksided right!?!?

He seems so unhappy and bitter and it’s all so dramatic? Like not even young Will was like this cus Will always covered up his pain with jokes and doting over Jem but Jamie was just... yooo, shit was scary to me okay. Then, in Nothing but Shadows, Cast Long Shadows and Every Exquisite Thing we got the *real* Jamie, right? He was just a cute socially awkward bookworm with a good heart and not sure how to fit into society and NONE of that darkness was to be seen in those stories. Sure, he was closed-off and secretive if anything but that’s really it, nothing like what we saw in TMH.

Theeeeeen Chain of Gold happened and he was just such a sweet, dashing, handsome, literary bean (🥺)??? And I was still left wondering like why was he depicted like that in The Midnight Heir cus he definitely didn’t act out like that any time in Gold. I did not for one second see that rage in him. Like we’ve been reminded by Matthew and James himself that he has a rage yet I felt, even up until reading Gold, that I had not seen that rage and bitterness since The Midnight Heir.

However, the ending of Iron definitely clears things up for me: it’s the Grace Effect.

“You have not just made me think that I loved you, you have subsumed my will over and over until I no longer know who I am. Do you even understand what it is that you’ve done?”

“No,” James snapped. “Enough. Not another word out of you. You came here tonight thinking I was still under the spell’s power—that I would hide you from your mother because I was your duped, doting fool. You had no intention of telling me the truth—”.

“Bitterness made it hurt to speak. “I would throw you onto the street,” said James, “but this power of yours is no better than a loaded gun in the hands of a selfish child. You cannot be allowed to continue to use it. You do know that?”

From a literary standpoint, this seems to be an allusion to that moment where Pip tells off Estella for not having a heart and for being an asshole to him. Like you’re left wondering where on earth did the little pushover orphan boy go?

Within the novels so far this has got to be the harshest I’ve ever heard Jamie speak (Grace deserves it btw). Like he’s on the verge of snapping “stfu and listen to me: you have manipulated and gaslit me and if it were up to me and not for my stupid honor I’d cast you and your pathetic self out into the cold”. (Ugh he’s such a badass).

Granted, he was not drunk and is much more mature than he was in the Bane Chronicles BUT his words here are so loaded. He learned that Grace was duping him the whole time and then BOOM this man was about to throw her into the street like he was MAD mad at the whole situation PLEASE. And then it really hit me that only Grace can hurt him like this and bring out this very facet of his character that we very rarely see, yet, was used for us to be introduced to him? His rage. From a technical standpoint, only Grace can bring out this side of him, and in a way, she’s a narrative tool used to fuel his characterization.

The first time Jamie acted out in TMH, he had gotten that letter from Grace saying she was suddenly gonna break off their love (🤢) and then he shows the worst part of himself. Now, Grace shows up at his doorstep and he learns about the enchantment and he uses the most fiery language I’ve ever seen him use, jarring in contrast to his typically attractive composure. Thus, the discrepancy between that original means of characterizing him as rebellious and bitter is like, solved, in the grander scheme of the situation given where Grace falls into his narrative arc as a person. Furthermore, it gives us a really nice contast between Will and his father. Everyone lowkey thought in 2014 that Jamie would be like Will or Jace cus Herondale right yet showing this dichotomy between Will and James’ darkness is so effective. Will’s darkness, his “curse”, was a secret he hept hidden from the world. Jamie’s darkness, his “damnation”, is a secret he himself was (mostly) not privy to. He’s not his full self when Grace is in the picture so we get that wrath and lack of control in some form or fashion which is so cool from an analytical perspective? It shows Cassie like really planned this shit out to the tee so many years in advance and it actually wasn’t true incongruity in his characterization at all.

[ludwinas]

[sir-sunny]

(Lavender). Uhhhh. This is accidentally really long

Peko and Imposter friendship hcs it is! I haven’t watched the anime, so I don’t know much about Imposter besides what can be gleaned from the games and that does all have a Byakuya lens. But I love them and will do my best for them.

-Fun facts, I sent a Peko Friend ask as one of my first to you, and another Friendship ask including Imposter and Hiyoko! Still def stand by all those.

-Peko and Gundham was one I mentioned, but it forever lives rent free in my head. They’re both scary and awkward and love animals. They both respect each other a lot and are lowkey jealous of each other(in a cool friendly way). I feel like they have a sorta… Competitiveness? Where neither of them are on quite the same wavelength with others, but when it comes to being friends, they go all out as almost a way to help encourage each other to connect with others better. Like, “Fuhahaha! The gift I granted to Hajime for his day of birth was remarkable! I recalled that he loves fierce felines, but is allergic to their fur. So I scoured the internet for months on end, until finally finding a 5ft cat stuffed animal for him to cherish without pain. I’d like to see you beat that!” “Well in fact, every day for the week leading up to his birthday, I gave him a different packet of candy that I had remembered him mentioning offhand over his he years we’ve known each other. In addition, the week we met I overheard him complimenting Nagito’s jacket. And so I gave him a similar one on his actual birthday. Checkmate.”

-That was long but! Peko and Mahiru as friends I think about every day. What would Mahiru have thought during the chapter 2 reveal? What would she have said? I think it would’ve been a fairly strong reaction. She has such a sense of justice but is also so empathetic. I think they would clash, but in like. A friendly rival kinda way. They both can be very blunt, but their views of the world are so different. The thing where they get along casually, but as soon as they get into their values and beliefs, it’s A Lot.

-Peko and Imposter? Should be friends. I generally see Imposter as a very easy person to like and get along with anyway, at least outside of pretending to be an asshole. And even then, their kindness is unmistakable. I feel like they’re the kind of friends who aren’t afraid to ask each other difficult questions, especially when they both have such strong issues with identity. But they also are willing to point out just kinda things they notice about each other to help build up that identity. I just love two people who don’t know who they are finding themselves together.

-Imposter and Ibuki have canon basis, but also. They should talk more. I think Ibuki is so solid in her own sense of self, and admires Imposter so much. She almost is confused by how lost Imposter is when it comes to their self. A lot of it is Ibuki being Ibuki. Fun random nonsense hangouts followed by that patented Ibuki Wisdom.

-Honestly can’t stop thinking about Imposter and Hajime being besties. They’re so similar. How Hajime almost really does follow Imposter’s example at the end. Hajime helps guide everyone towards the future! He helps wake everyone up! But he also surpasses it with his own declaration of his identity. I just think they have such a respect for each other and can bond.

All this talk about lacking identity is just makin me think of how much of a theme it is. Brain go brr with all these character parallels.

MHMHMHM PEKO AND IMPOSTER SUPREMACYYY

i loOove the idea of peko and gundham having a friendly rivalry,, from an outsider's perspective, it probably looks like the two of them are always arguing but in actuality, theyre having a great time one upping each other aksjdsjh i imagine they bring out the most dramatic and scary sides of each other (omg these two having the most intense staring contest ever....)

yes!! i love the idea of mahiru and peko being friends,, these two get along cuz theyre the epitomy of ppl who take no bs. theyre also veeery intimating 😳 aksjdhsg

OOOOOO peko and imposter talkin abt identity!! these two only recently realizing they dont know who they really are!! these two trying to live for themselves!!! this good shit!!!

mmmmm ibuki and imposter would be great friends. she could show them how to express themselves in anyway they want,, she'd be like "what clothes do YOU wanna wear? whats YOUR favorite food? what kind of music do YOU like??" she encourages them to be their own self yknooo

YES HAJIME AND IMPOSTERR their fte are proof that theyd be v good friends. these two feel a sense of leadership and they just want whats best for everyone around them. theyre both good people who want to protect their friendsss,, these two can rely on each other ykno i just

i love parallels,...................

[the-wlw-cafe]

Supercorptober - Day 4: Dog

Read it on ao3 here!

„Sweetie?“

Lena and Alex shared a long look over their respective dishes. It was common knowledge that Kara only called her wife sweetie when she’d done something wrong. Granted, it wasn’t her only tell, the fact that she showed up twenty minutes late to their double date with Alex and Kelly was also a big indicator that there was something going on. Lena had stopped being upset when Kara turned up late for functions pretty early on in their relationship. Supergirl duties didn’t stick to a regular schedule, after all. But something about the way she had her winter coat draped tightly around herself, fists clenching and unclenching in the fabric, her facial expression the same as when she ate the last slice of Pizza that was clearly labelled Alex at game night clued Lena in that her tardiness wasn’t the only thing her wife was about to fess up to.

“Yes, honey?” Lena asked, one eyebrow raised as far as it could go.

“You love me, right?”

“What did you do?” Alex and Lena sighed in unison.

“Okay, it’s scary when you do that. You know me too well!” Kara exclaimed, wrapping her coat tighter around herself. For a split second, Lena thought she could see movement under there – but that would be ridiculous, not even Kara would try to smuggle a living, breathing animal into a restaurant.

“Kara, please, please tell me this isn’t another Robert Cat situation”, Alex said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Lena frowned. “Robert Cat?”, she asked, turning to Kelly as if to ask whether these words made any more sense to her. She was surprised to see Alex’ wife trying to stifle a giggle behind the palm of her hand.

“Am I the only one who has no idea what on earth Alex is talking about?”

“Oh Lena”, Kelly said, her dark eyes twinkling with glee, “you’re in for a treat!”

“Alex, you weren’t supposed to tell anyone!”, Kara whined.

“Kara, I love you to bits, but there’s no way I would ever be able to keep this amazing anecdote to myself”, Alex grinned, taking a large swig from her glass of wine.

“Gather ‘round, children, because I’m about to tell you the tragic tale of unrequited love between Kara and Robert Cat.”

Kara huffed, but took a seat at the table anyway, pouting adorably.

“So I’m sure after two years of marriage, two additional years of dating and an eternity of hopeless pining you know that when Kara first came to earth she had some trouble controlling her powers and adjusting to life on earth. So, because humans are cruel – myself included, I was an asshole back then, sorry again, Kara-“

“Apology accepted!”, Kara interjected. “I mean, for the being mean to me when you were a kid thing, not the telling everyone my deepest, darkest secrets. You’re a traitor and I’ll be mad at you forever.”

“Oh, hush you”, Alex said, pushing some of her fries and chicken wings in Kara’s direction, which did make her pout dissolve just a little bit.

“Anyway, Kara started befriending this stray cat –“

“Streaky, I know.”

“-for fuck’s sake, will you just let me finish?”

Lena acquiesced, murmuring a half-hearted apology.

“Anyway, because animals seemed to like Kara more than most of her peers did, she started hanging out with them more and more, until one day she came running home, calling for mom, because she’d found a scared cat that must be starving, alone and scared, because it had hissed and swatted at her even after she’d offered it some of her salami. So mom, being the responsible adult, tasked Kara in bringing the cat home so we could take it to a vet, see if it’s chipped and if it needs help, you know how it goes. Kara was of course overjoyed and brought her new friend home. So you could imagine our surprise when Kara came home with…”, Alex paused for dramatic tension, clearly revelling in the attention Lena was giving her, “...a fucking bobcat!”

Lena, who’d been taking a sip of her wine, started violently coughing and had to spit it back into the glass in a terribly unladylike way.

“How was I supposed to know?”, Kara shouted from the far end of the table.

“I mean, you could have learned after Eliza told you to put that thing back where you got it from.”

Lena, knowing her wife to well, intoned: “But she didn’t, did she?”

“Of course not”, Alex grinned. “She actually tried to hide it in her room.”

“He couldn’t hurt me! I just wanted to feed him and give him some space until he calmed down, just like what Eliza used to do when I went into meltdown because of sensory overload.”

It never ceased to feel like a wonder to Lena, how after all these years of being together, so many moments of Kara being unapologetically Kara still made her heart swell and flutter with a sudden burst of love. She gave her wife’s thigh a quick, affectionate squeeze and shared a smile with her, the kind so full of open adoration it made Alex roll her eyes.

“The whole thing blew up right in her face when I came to collect her for dinner and this hellbeast jumped me. I actually had to get stitches in my forearm, but it was worth it for witnessing my sister picking the hissing, yowling mangy furball up by the scruff of the neck and tell it off like a naughty fourth grader. She actually -”

“Alex, nooooo”, Kara moaned, burying her head in her hands.

“She actually called it Robert Cat, you know, because I’m Alexandra to mom when I fuck up.”

“It does make perfect sense”, Lena snorted, patting her furiously blushing wife’s thigh.

“Well, it’s clear we are talking about a Robert Cat situation here”, Kelly said, giggling behind her hand.

“How do you know?”, Alex asked, brows furrowed.

“Well, either that or Lena isn’t feeding her wife, because while you were talking Kara’s been busy dropping chicken wings into her cleavage.”

One look confirmed Kelly’s suspicion true: Kara, caught in the act, was holding a chicken wing aloft just over her cleavage. Her very impatient cleavage, because it started yipping and wiggling towards the suspended treat, until a tiny, reddish-brown puppy emerged from her coat.

“To my defense, I’ve already taken her to the vet, she’s healthy and unchipped and I saved her from a ditch where she was stuck and I love her! Also, she��s the cutest.”

“Oh, I miss the days when you used to say these things about me”, Lena quipped, causing Kara to gasp in consternation, clearly about to recount the numerous times she had called Lena cute and beautiful and the bomb dot com this day alone.

“I suppose she is cute”, Alex agreed hesitantly, reaching out to give the little puppy some well deserved head scratches.

“Oh no, Lena, please say you like her too, we can’t let Alex get her fingers on her!” Kara mock-whispered, a wearing a theatrical expression of horror. “She’ll call her Gertrude!”

“Well”, Lena said, tickling the little creature’s chin, “we can’t have that.”

[evanstanhoney]

Too Little Too Late.// Badboy!Shawn

a/n: this one is a doozy kids. I wanted my first story back to be a fluffy little something but damnit I just couldn’t do it.

summary: sometimes saying goodbye can be the hardest thing.

⚠️warnings: angst, toxic relationships.

word count: 1.7k

You knew before you even opened the door. You knew he would be standing there, a smug smirk on his face, leaning against the door frame, before your hand even made contact with the doorknob. You had hoped that it would be someone else, literally anyone else, but of course, it wasn’t. Because right as you opened the door there he was in all his smug, arrogant glory. All you do is let out a sigh, and fold your arms across your chest. 

“What are you doing here?”

After the way things ended, you made a vowed to never speak to Shawn again. For your own good. Your relationship complicated and when your judgment wasn’t clouded by that curly-headed asshole, you were well aware of how unhealthy it all was. One minute you were in love, the next you couldn’t stand to be in the same room with one another, and then after that your fucking like nothing ever happened, with passion you’d never experienced in your life. It was exhausting. For both of you. But even knowing that a part of you craved it. You wanted the chaos, the uncertainty. Your life was always so boring, or so you thought. You’ve never...lived. Your life has always been planned out, you never strayed from your routine, and Shawn gave you something you never knew you could have. An adventure, a challenge. Just something….different. And different was good, for a while, until it wasn’t fun. It was work, and headache and just one more anxiety-inducing thing on your already long list of triggers.  

“I just felt like I needed to see you,” he smirks

“Well you’ve seen me.” you close the door, but he jams his foot in stopping you from closing it any further. 

“No, wait. I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what Shawn. There’s nothing to talk about.” 

“We have plenty to talk about.” He smirks and you cock your head to the side,

“Have you completely forgotten what we’ve said to each other in the last week? Have you completely lost your mind.” 

“No, I remember. Which is exactly why we need to talk.” your not sure what it is about the way the words leave his lips. Or maybe its the look in his eye that does it, something that seemed almost genuine. Regardless, you were losing your resolve and he could see it in your eyes. Your grip on the door loosened and he smirked, “Are you going to let me in?” 

Without saying a word, you step aside and open the door allowing him to slide inside. Without missing a beat, he’s moving past you taking a seat on your couch. You don’t say anything about how he completely makes himself at home, but something in your stomach twists at how comfortable he is at your place. With you. Even after everything he still has it in his mind that everything is fine. That things will go back to normal. That you will get back into your routine, and things will be as they always were. Toxic and dysfunctional. 

You walk over to the couch, standing in front of the coffee table, arms across your chest.“What do you want.” 

“I told you I wanted to talk.”

“And I told you there is nothing left to say.”

“I’m sorry.” He says sighs. 

“No. We are not doing this again -” 

“Will you hear me out.” He gripes, leaning back into the couch. How could he be so calm? As if he didn’t rip your heart out of your chest and into a million pieces. How could he act like you’re the problem? You’re the one causing an inconvenience because you’re finally standing up for yourself. The longer that he was there the more your blood began to boil. But still, you kept your tone calm but strong, and steady, refusing to back down. 

“No. I’m done. We agreed we are done doing this. We can’t keep going back and forth. I’m tired. I don’t have it in me to keep fighting for this anymore.” 

And with those words, everything in Shawn shifts. He sees it in your eyes, he hears it in your voice. 

You’d given up. 

He pushed too hard, went too far, and now you were done. Truly and really done. 

“You don’t mean that.” 

“Jesus Christ Shawn! You can’t keep doing that.”

“Doing what?” 

“Telling me how I feel. Assuming things, instead of actually listening to what I’m trying to tell you. How do you think we got here in the first place.” 

“I’m not - I.” he stopped taking a deep breath to compose himself. “What I’m trying to say is that I fucked up. Severely. I get that, and I’m sorry but I swear, on everything that I’m done playing the games, okay? I want you, and I can admit that now.” 

“Now? Shawn, you’ve had months. Months, to figure this out. I gave you time. I gave you the space, that you asked for by the way. And when it came down to you you decided that I-” you felt the lump in your throat forming and you hated it. You were always an angry crier and the last thing you wanted was to let him see you cry. You’d cried enough tears over this stupid immature boy and the last thing you wanted was for him to see you fall apart all over again. “You decided that I wasn’t worth it. That your friends and your reputation or whatever was more important than our relationship. And that’s fine. I’ve come to terms with that. But what you do not get to do, is come barging in here, with a change of heart like some kind of prince charming and think that I will just change my mind and forget all those things you said and everything you did. Because I can’t Shawn. You hurt me.” 

You broke me.  

“I know and I’m -” 

“No, you don’t.” 

It was a constant game of cat and mouse with Shawn. And at first, it was fun, chasing each other and sneaking around. You enjoyed being his little secret. Because he dressed it up to be romantic. As if what you had was special, and he didn’t want it to be tainted by anything outside of your little bubble. The reality was much different and the longer you were in that sweet little bubble the more clear it became what it really was. He was hiding you. Not only that but he was so concerned about everyone else, and their judgments that he kept pushing you away, just to pull you back in again. And in between the things that he would say...the fights you would have. It was all just too much. 

“What do I have to do? Just tell me that. Tell me what I have to do for you to forgive me and I’ll do it. Anything.” 

“There’s nothing you can do Shawn. I gave you chances. I’m tired of giving you chances. You made your choice.” 

“Honey.” 

“Don’t.” You seeth, whipping around, finger in his face

“Just one more chance. I’m just asking for one more chance, and I’ll prove to you that I’m different.” 

“Different? It’s been a week Shawn.”

“Yeah, and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking at that time and I’m different. I have...perspective.” 

“Perspective. Right, okay then enlighten me,” you say sitting down on the couch, crossing your legs. “Please tell me what you’ve discovered over the past week.” 

He’s taken aback by your demeanor. He’s never seen you so...angry. But it’s not rage, its pure hurt. 

“Well for one I know I was a dick.” he sighs, and you let out a dramatic huff. Any other time he would have stopped, gone on about your attitude and it would turn into a massive blow-up fight, but he didn’t say a word, just continued in a slow, calming voice as he could muster “I let other people influence my decisions and I shouldn’t have. I was disrespectful, and I said things I should have never have said. I took you for granted and I just...I was terrible to you. And I’m going to change that. I’ll do everything in my power to change that and to make it up to you.” 

Everything he said, he said with such sincerity, you knew he meant it. For all his faults, Shawn was above else honest. He said what was on his mind and he never backed down from his own beliefs. So as he spoke, you knew he meant every word. And it was everything you’d ever wanted to hear from him. Just for him to admit his faults, that's it. And now that he’s in front of you pouring his heart out in the best way that he knows how, stumbling and reaching for words...you felt nothing. 

“And so what, all of this is just supposed to make me feel better?” 

“That’s not what I’m saying.” 

“Than what are you saying?” 

“I’m saying that I recognize my mistakes and I am willing to work on it if you’ll let me.”

“You can work on them all you want Shawn, but not with me.” He looks at you, and then down at his shoes, before meeting your eyes again, and you see a flash of something you’ve never seen before in them. Shame. And for a moment you want to believe him. You want to belive that he’s changed, or that he is at least on the road to change. You want to sit down next to him and talk things through. You want to go back, you want to fix it. But you can’t. And you shouldn’t. “I think you should leave.” 

He doesn’t put up a fight, just nods his head and stands up, “Yeah.” He straightens out his leather jacket and follows you to the door. You open the door and he slowly shuffles outside, before turning to you one last time. 

“I’m going to be better. I swear, I’ll be better.” 

“Goodnight Shawn.”

masterlist // tell me what you think? // requests? // wattpad // AO3

Tag List: @outlandishnerd @justanotherfangurl272 @itrocksmysocks @turtoix

[aries-writingblog]

Stay With Me (7)

Summary: James Buchanan Barnes had never looked at himself as a family guy. He never even thought of it until she came around, flipping his world inside out. Bucky likes trouble and this girl? Well, she seems to invite chaos to dinner.

Pairing: Mob! Bucky Barnes x OC! Alex Grant

Chapter Word Count: 1939

Chapter Warnings: Language, threats, violence, blood, knives, mentions of the stalker

A/N: This is an OC story but I try to make them with the least amount of physical description as necessary. The pronouns used are feminine for the character.

“Alex- we’re taking Alpine to the backyard!” Wanda called over her shoulder, cuddling the white fur-ball to her chest. She was followed by a gaggle of their friends, all piling outside to watch the cat.

“I’ll come get you when the pizza’s here!” Alex responded, turning back to Pepper. The woman poured another glass of wine, pushing it over the counter. Alex accepted it, gulping down a few mouthfuls.

“Bucky isn’t coming today?” Pepper asked, looking over to Tony who was lounging in the living room with Pietro. Tony was wearing a crown that read ‘birthday girl’, he brought it as a joke and Wanda refused to put it on. Pietro, however, had taken the offer immediately. They had been passing the crown back and forth for the past half hour.

“No, he had business today. He took them out for dinner last night instead.” Alex explained, licking frosting off her fingers. She turned the cake once more, giving it a final check.

“So things are getting pretty serious, then?” She questioned, crossing her legs, cocking a brow. Alex scoffed, piping Wanda’s name under Pietro’s. They all argued about the dessert this morning- Pietro claiming he should be above his sister since he was older. Wanda claimed the spot because she was Alex’s favorite- which started a whole new argument, resulting in Alex refusing to make a cake at all. In the end, here she was, frosting the cake in her own decision- Pietro then Wanda.

“I don’t know about serious.” Her eyes cut over to Natasha who snorted. The red read leaned forward across the island, tapping a fingernail against the marble.

“Please- you should’ve seen them last night!” She crowed. “They acted like the cutest little family I’d ever seen! He acts like they’re his kids!” Alex scoffed, picking the cake up and putting it in the fridge. “And he looked at her like she was a goddess come to earth- it was fucking insane! And the gifts he gave them- it was absolutely wild, that man should come with a warning label.” Pepper chuckled as Alex reached over, snagging the bottle of wine from her sister.

“That’s enough of that for you.”

“Hey!”

“Why do you think it isn’t serious, Alex? It seems like Bucky wants to stick around, he loves you.” Pepper reasoned. Alex’s face felt hot, she avoided eye contact with the women, puttering around the kitchen. Natasha groaned dramatically, banging her head against the table.

“You’re not allowed to get cold feet on this guy, Alexandria Grant.” Natasha sat back up, staring at her half- sister. “I let you run from John, I helped smooth things over with mom and dad- not my best work but they still claim you as their daughter sometimes! I will not let you ruin this for yourself. That man is done for- he loves you, it’s in every move he makes. And I’ve never seen Pietro and Wanda that happy either, he’s willing to accept everything you throw his way, no questions asked. You’re never happy unless you’re failing, it’s always been that way.”

The kitchen fell silent, Pepper staring between the two women. Alex kept washing the dishes at the sink, her back turned to Natasha. Alex knew she was right, when things got good, she left before they could turn bad. She was a runner, it was how she lived, how she survived.

“Do us all a favor and just... be happy. Don’t run again.”

~~~~~~

Bucky was fed up with the idiots surrounding him. They had been pushing for twenty five percent of all markets, all day. Steve made him swear he wouldn’t lose his temper when he heard. So, Bucky threatened to just leave- the deal would fall through. The men changed their stance on it- not much though. Bucky was now dead set on pushing them lower. Just because they were assholes.

“We’ve made more connections than some of your senior officers in less time- six months.” Rumlow argued, pushing Bucky to raise the margins. “You can’t argue we don’t do good work.”

“It’s not that you’re not doing good work- it’s great work.” Steve assured the men. “But you can’t come into the ranks above senior officers- that’s not how it works with us.”

“That’s bullshit!” Pierce shouted, slamming a fist to the table. Bucky simply sat back, lacing his fingers together. “Why should we sit lower on a pay grade if we’re doing triple the work?”

“Because of your lack of subordination.” Bucky finally spoke up, running a hand across his beard. He drug his eyes between the two men lazily. “You may sell more product, move more weapons, have more connections than seven of those pricks combined but, they’re loyal. I guarantee that you two gentlemen already have a plan in mind to kill me. So, I think I’ll pass on this deal.” He tapped the table twice, standing up.

“You walk out of this meeting and we’ll just have to pay a little visit to that bitch you’re hiding.” Rumlow’s voice cut the air, filling Bucky’s ears. His whole body filled with rage- white hot anger. Steve tensed beside him. He whirled around, pulling the glock from his holster, aiming it directly at the man’s forehead.

“You even think about her again, I’ll make sure you never see the light of day.” He growled. Steve stepped up beside him, hands on his belt. Pierce shrugged, as if his business partner was in no trouble.

“Well... look at that- you owe me twenty bucks, Brock.” He drawled, leaning back in his chair. A dangerous, dark smirk crawled it’s way onto his lips. “He’s not just using her to get his cock sucked-“

Bucky cocked the gun, firing a shot into Pierce’s abdomen. He then pointed the gun back at Rumlow, only to find the man had pulled a knife. Bucky chuckled darkly.

“I didn’t want any trouble out of you two- I was actually considering the deal you had when we walked in this morning.” Bucky admitted, waving the muzzle in Rumlow’s face. “Then, you disrespected my girl. You threatened her. And that’s a crime that requires the death sentence in my book. If I find any of you ex-Hydra dickheads, fucking around anywhere near her, I’ll obliterate your whole branch.”

“Oh please, if you were gonna do something... you’d have done... done it already.” Pierce panted, blood splattering onto his lips, dribbling down his chin. He kept his hands pressed to the wound, blood seeping out over his fingers. Bucky gave a sick smile, reaching over and pressing down hard over the man’s hands.

“I’m letting you off with a warning, Pierce. If I were you, I’d take it and shut my mouth.” He hissed. Just as he went to back away, Bucky felt a stab of pain enter his right thigh. He looked back over to see Rumlow’s knife lodged in the muscle, blood making his pants stick to his skin. “You wanna meet God today, fucker?”

Bucky fired a shot into Rumlow’s chest, another in Pierce’s knee cap, just for the hell of it. He backed away, shoving the doors open, following Steve out to the armored SUV.

“Call the guards posted at Alex’s house. Make sure they’re on the lookout.” Bucky instructed, wiping Pierce’s blood off his hand. Steve did as he was told, looking back over to Bucky’s thigh.

“You wanna stop and get that looked at?” He asked. Bucky grit his teeth, feeling his jaw pop with the pressure. Any other day, he would do it himself- hell, even get Steve to look at it. But right now, Bucky just wanted to be home.

“No- Davis,” he addressed the driver. “I'm going to Alex’s.”

~~~~~~

Bucky staggered up the steps, the street dark. The lights were still on in the house but it was quiet. He’d missed the party. His knuckles rapped three times, leaning against the threshold of the house. The door swung open, revealing Pepper. She gave a look of surprise before looking down, seeing the knife still sticking out of his thigh.

“Oh my- Alex!” She called, ushering Bucky into the house. He limped in, allowing Pepper to steady him. Tony and Natasha looked over from the living room, concern across their features. Alex came through from the garage, looking for the cry she’d heard. Upon seeing Bucky, her eyes lit up, approaching him. Then, she saw what Pepper had seen.

“You fucking idiot!” She leapt into action, shoving the man down to sit on the hardwood floors. “Nat, get some wet rags from the kitchen, Pepper I have an emergency kit in my bathroom upstairs. Grab a couple towels while you’re there.” She turned back to Bucky, examining the wound. “You’re a dumbass, you know that?”

“Yeah, sweetheart. I do.” He sighed, leaning his head back and giving her a weak smile. She carefully maneuvered around the knife blade, tearing the edge of his pants wider to get a better look. “But if you wanted to rip my clothes off, all you had to do was ask.”

“Not the time, James.” She barked, reaching for the towels Pepper brought down. She wrapped it around the knife, pressing down on the area. “I’m gonna pull the knife out, alright- there’s gonna be a big rush of blood but I’ve got you, okay. Do you trust me?” Bucky met her eyes, the answer already clear.

“With everything.” He murmured, watching as she steadied her hands and took a deep breath. Alex yanked the knife, Bucky flinched, grunting in pain.

“Sorry- I’m sorry.” She whispered, moving to quickly stop the bleeding. The door opened again, Steve coming in through the door.

“Oh, good. You’re not in the bushes outside.” He muttered, glancing at the audience of people. “Hello.”

“Steve- what happened?” Alex asked, pressing a fresh cloth to the wound. Bucky shot a glance at his friend, effectively communicating that it would be a very bad night if he told the truth.

“Just, uh... letter opener accident?” Bucky groaned, his head thumping on the wall behind him. The stairs creaked.

“Alex?” Pietro called. Her head shot up, casting a glance over to the group.

“Somebody- keep them upstairs.” Every adult rushed to do so, a stampede of feet going upstairs. Alex kept pressure on the wound, Bucky noticed she kept her attention solely on his thigh, never looking up to him.

“Hey- I’m alright...” he whispered, bringing a hand up to her cheek, pushing her loose hair behind her ear. “Alex... look at me. Come on, pretty girl. Let me see those eyes.” She reluctantly dragged them up to his, a smile on his face. “There she is. I’m alright, just a business deal gone bad. This is the best case scenario, really. I’m sorry that I brought this home to you- I just... I wanted someone I could trust.”

“I...” she shook her head, lowering her eyes again. “Bucky- I’m sorry... there’s... I’ve been getting these phone calls- they started Monday. It’s only gotten worse.”

“What phone calls?” He asked, gaze hardening, heart plummeting to his feet, smacking his stomach on the way down. When she didn’t answer, he pushed her further. “Alex.”

“Just- calls! A weird, voice calls and just describes my whole day in detail, when I got to work, when I drank coffee, took a bathroom break, slept in an on call room- you showing up! The kids, getting off the bus-“

“Okay-“ Bucky shushed her, his hand resting on her neck. “It’s alright. I’ll figure it out, alright?”

“James...” Alex looked up, true panic in her eyes. “I think it’s John.”

[damelola]

You know Cat would be like "damn I really have a thing for blonde haired blue eyed women who could whoop my ass" while Antiope is like "damn this woman is so sassy for something so small"

And she would be so impressed that Cat has built an empire without battle skills, without war in the sense that Antiope understands it. But one chance meeting and she knows Cat is every bit as fierce, every bit as wise, every bit as goddamned hot as the greatest leaders etc. 

Why is Antiope in that place, wherever Cat meets her (Athens or Rome or the backroom fights in a Boston bar)? Well she faked her death at the hands of those invading soldiers to light a fire under Diana, to get her out there and determined to tackle Ares. It was the only way to unleash the Godkiller after all. But what kind of trainer would Antiope be if she didn’t watch from Diana’s corner, silently cheering her on and absorbing every blow? (It was too much to ask of Hippolyta to lose them both, but these are the burdens of ruling, something Cat can empathize with all too well when she hears the story.)

Cat teaches Antiope how to be forbidding in fabrics other than leather, delights in sharing music and art and wine with her, marvels at how much they have in common despite the centuries and geography that have separated them. Then some drunk idiot gets too close on the sidewalk, maybe angling for a purse or just to disrupt a pleasant evening shared by two beautiful women, but Cat’s knees that go weak at his shout are weak for a very different reason by the time Antiope is done with him. 

( They make it as far as the backseat of the car, that first time. It’s not like Cat to dance around it, but she hasn’t wanted to risk the sheer companionship of it all. To hell with caution when Antiope kisses as deftly as she jabs, when she caresses Cat’s cheek with knuckles that are scraped and already bruising. There’s no leather, no silk, not even a scrap of lace between them by the time they’re three steps inside Cat’s penthouse. There are no secrets between them by the time Antiope is three fingers deep and Cat is panting like she can’t quite believe she’ll stay whole. )

It can’t last, of course. Antiope is a woman out of time, a general in need of a troop to command. Cat has new wars to wage every day, not least the ones where Kara leads the charge, and Antiope knows that quiet sigh of frustration or relief goes deeper than Cat ever intended it to.

They part as friends, mature and disciplined and maybe one last time because the wine is so rich and Cat’s skin is so soft and unscarred by battle. When Diana comes to town, the cavalry Kara so desperately needs, she has a general in support at last. Cat’s tremendously glad to see Antiope, but did it really have to take yet another near apocalypse?

And so it goes. 

[fictorium]

Cat Grant Appreciation Week: Day 1 - favourite scene

Livewire ended up airing earlier than it should, becoming the de facto fourth episode. It’s really a good thing that it did, because here we finally see Cat Grant’s layers. If her entrance was supposed to be Miranda Priestly with a twist, and the mentoring in the first three episodes more incidental, a product of her ego and thirst for a story, it feels like this was the first truly personal scene we got The Full Cat Grant.

She’s being a bit impossible, refusing to go to a safe place - something we see again later when Livewire escapes. Even then she’s willing to let Kara go, only to be genuinely touched by the news that Kara is an orphan. We’re two years in and Kara has never played that card before. Cat’s as intrigued as the audience. 

But we get more than the glimmer from the gossip queen, we get admission (via alcohol, because it’s Cat and she has her vices). Plenty of people in Cat’s position would buff and gloss their biography to create an image of perfection. For all her ego, Cat isn’t that vain. She knows the value of what she’s been through, of what she lacks as much as what she’s gained.

Then she’s back to herself, to the surface Cat who’s instantly irritated when Kara announces her plans to go anyway. Get me Supergirl, do what you want, all very chop chop. But it lingers, this new information. It mixes in with the vulnerability of Cat sharing what she did. That’s why the payoff is Cat saying she should get to know Kara better. Even if that’s a threat to Supergirl’s identity, as it turns out to be, you just know Kara is thrilled to be seen. 

There’s a lot to be said about how they’re two façades presented to each other at first - Kara Danvers the non-special human persona, and Cat Grant the Queen of All Media. Season 1 is showing us what happens when the real people behind those fronts get close to one another, and that’s what makes it the heart of the show, right alongside the Danvers Sisters. It’s deep, and it’s meaningful, and it couldn’t happen with any two random characters. 

Cat has the biggest heart of anyone Kara knows. Big enough to be the heart of Supergirl, in more ways than we realised. I for one can’t wait to have her back for two episodes. 

[hellhaunt-moved]

@lawrising​​​​​​​​ sent:  “ you can love a monster, it can even love you back, but that does not change its nature ” // okay not from any muse of mine but id love to see ,, mayhaps ,, henry and danny with this!  /  accepting!

danny’s heart thuds in his chest. sharp. hungry. desperate. everything that henry’s always made him feel. shit he casts aside as envy, hatred, righteous anger... but it’s betrayal. it’s betrayal, plain and simple. he’s always wanted to grab henry by the shirt and shake him, ask him what he did to be shut out like this. it feels like one minute they were best friends, tangled up in each other in stitches on henry’s front lawn. and then it changed. henry stopped smiling, started scowling at him as he passed. bitterness had seeped into someone who had once been his friend, and now they’re left with nothing.

there hadn’t been any grand confrontation. if there had been, maybe danny would have felt better about losing him. at least he might have known what he did. but there wasn’t a thing. all henry ever says is that he’s a monster. that he’s a rich asshole who doesn’t consider anyone’s feelings. and maybe he is that, but he’s always been that. what had henry seen? can danny take it back? does he want to? what’s the point of getting henry if he doesn’t want him, doesn’t want all of him?

sometimes, danny thinks clearly like that. that he wouldn’t want someone who hates him so much. and other times, like now, he just wants henry to burn him down to the ground if it means he’ll keep his eyes on him. that side of him, that pathetic, desperate side? it’s been ruling him for a long time now. and when henry says that — says a sentence with the word love in it — it alerts danny to that heady feeling of obsession and need. makes him into that pathetic girly thing he’d always wanted to squash down. but he hasn’t undergone a final transformation. he can’t grant henry that satisfaction — not before danny gets an answer.

why did you betray me? what did i even do to you?

but he doesn’t ask. he’s not sure he even wants the answer. instead, he smiles lazily, ever-grateful to the aviators he keeps on to conceal the desperation raging in his eye. “sure, i’m a monster. i’ll admit to that. but what about you, henry? aren’t you a monster? i mean, takes one to know one. probably takes one to love one, too — eek!”

danny side-steps gracelessly to avoid the swing of henry’s fist. and then, he breaks out laughing. there it is, that betrayal again! he could almost die laughing! henry would swing a fist at him, because that’s what their relationship is! cat and fucking mouse! well, if it’s hunt or be hunted, danny knows full well where he wants to stand. he sighs dramatically, takes advantage of henry’s shock. henry’s so nonviolent by nature — it would kill him knowing that he’d thrown a punch even if it didn’t land. “guess i was right to call you uncivilized. let me know when you graduate from animal status so we can talk like people.”

the next day, danny takes a sick satisfaction seeing henry’s fist bloody and bandaged. maybe violence is the only language henry knows after all.

[delimeful]

sheer atrocity (2)

Day 26: Doll

warnings: captivity, fear, panic, vaguely asshole-ish giants

sequel to day 17: roasted! 

-

Virgil woke up slowly, relieved to have gotten enough sleep that his headache from earlier had faded. He sat up slowly, cracking his neck, and then tilted his head curiously at a hollow thunking sound from nearby. He looked down, wondering what the hell was making so much noise this early in the morning, and caught sight of the jar in his cloak pocket.

Oh, right. He had a whole new headache to deal with. 

The human was yelling at him, banging his tiny fists against the walls ineffectually and spitting vitriolic human curses for all he was worth. Still, the individual words were muffled pretty effectively by the thick glass of the container, so Virgil had no problem ignoring him as he rose to his feet and shrugged out the kinks in his back. 

He sniffed the air, ignoring the permeating human scent around him to scout out the nearest large water source. He’d slept all night, and if he wanted enough energy to pass through the next town unnoticed, he’d have to hydrate and find something to eat. Enchantments didn’t run on nothing, after all!

Luckily, there was a river nearby, and he meandered through the woods and hills at an easy pace until he could crouch and drink his fill. 

“Let me out, you great gluttonous creature!” 

He pointedly ignored the protests as he wiped his mouth, rising back to his feet. Water had been obtained, now something to eat. He brushed his hands through the trees until he found a hollow trunk; the poor thing had fallen victim to a lightning strike and was well and truly dead. He began to pry strips of it off, easily biting into the tough, burnt bark.

Before long, he’d uprooted the whole thing and left only freshly-overturned dirt in its place. The human had gone quiet at some point, and when Virgil glanced down to check that the little thing hadn’t spontaneously combusted, he was looking up at him with the nervousness of a mouse facing a hungry cat. Virgil rolled his eyes, pulling the jar out of his pocket to look at him better. “Quit it. I’m not going to eat you.”

“And why would I ever believe that, coming from a giant?” Roman sassed, glaring up at him fairly fiercely for someone trying to hide wobbly knees. The human had guts. Virgil was almost impressed.

“Because I’m not in the habit of eating humans, no matter how irritating. Clearly, whatever they’re teaching you slayers is out of date if they haven’t even mentioned natural giants.”  

“There is only one kind of giant! The evil kind!” 

Virgil frowned and flicked the jar in retaliation, knocking Roman back to the bottom of it. The glass echoed with a hollow tone, and the human clutched his head for a moment before glaring up at him again. 

“If you aren’t going to eat me, then what terrible plans have you concocted instead? You must at least grant me that knowledge!” He asked, not moving from where he was laid out flat on his back.

Virgil shrugged. “Dunno. Haven’t really thought that far ahead.” He pushed a few treetops delicately out of the way with his free hand. “I’m not letting you go, ‘cuz you’ll bring back more pests and I’ve got business in these parts for a while longer, I don’t need the added stress of looking over my shoulder for slayers every minute of the day. Besides, I don’t pity you enough to just let you off with a warning.” 

Roman scowled, kicking against the glass petulantly as though Virgil couldn’t see the trembling in his legs. “Just kill me now then, beast! Surely, you can’t intend to venture through the towns ahead with such a burden?” 

“You’d think for a guy in a jar you’d eventually start to understand that you can’t order me to do anything. No accounting for stupidity, I guess.” Virgil lifted the jar up, expression loosening slightly with amusement as Roman scrambled in an odd crabwalk to press against the far wall of it, glaring at him. “Actually, though, I totally can take you into town without a problem. Here, watch.” 

He clasped both hands around the jar despite the tiny prince’s protests, and focused on his size-shifting spell. The smell of ozone split the air, his vision blurring and bones creaking until he snapped back into awareness at a much different angle. A much smaller angle.

He was human-sized, now, including all his garments and gear, which meant that Roman was now splayed out in the bottom of the jar, the size of a doll to any random human child. He grinned smugly, turning the jar to show off the new perspective. “There we go.” 

Roman shot to his feet, pressing his hands against the glass and staring at the huge landscape around them. “I’m... small? H-How-?” 

“I told you.” Virgil wiggled his fingers, sparks weaving between them in a complicated pattern. “I’m much more powerful than a shifter.” 

“No… No, this can’t be happening…” The human sat back down heavily, looking stunned, and Virgil frowned slightly. He looked like he was taking quick, shallow breaths, and his face was pale. 

“Relax.” He commanded, tilting the jar slightly to snap Roman out of it. The human jolted as he slid to one side, looking up at Virgil with wide red eyes. “You might be doll-sized, but as long as you stay in the jar, anyone who wants to get to you has to go through me. And trust me, you’re staying in that jar.” 

“Re- Reassuring.” Roman griped sarcastically, but he did seem to regain some of his previous bravado at the reminder that Virgil wasn’t planning on killing him right away. He climbed back to his feet, pointing at Virgil dramatically. “Whatever… Whatever dastardly plot you have, villain, I will not submit no matter my size!”

Virgil rolled his eyes, tucking the jar back into his cloak as he spotted the town on the horizon. Slayers. Drama queens, every one.

“Whatever you say, Princey.”