#cat-coded buddies are real

[stellocchia]

The best thing about my three all-time faves is that they absolutely could be friends.

I talked in the past about Killer and Lust having plenty of similarities (they both come from situations where violence was normalized to them, their souls and emotions were messed with against their will, and they both tend to be objectified a lot, with Killer being seen as a weapon and Lust as a sexual object). But also, they have plenty to give to each other. Killer can teach Lust how to defend himself better and Lust has a lot to teach him about self expression, individuality and so on.

They're a great duo already, but I can make the dynamic better by throwing Red into the mix.

My guy comes from a world that doesn't fit among the darker AUs like HorrorTale, DustTale, or Something New, but it doesn't fit among the lighter ones either. Violence was very much normalized there and he's used to being a weakling compared to those around him. Nothing but easy EXP (I don't doubt that he and his brother had come to rely on one another a ton during their time in UnderFell. Those two are codependent af and nobody will ever convince me otherwise).

He can empathize with Lust's and Killer's feelings of being something other because he was. However, he cam also teach them a lot. He can teach them how to stand up for themselves (because, while Killer knows how to fight, that guy is the worst advocate of his own boundaries), and how to truly trust. He'd be out there helping to reconnect with their bros (and maybe helping Color too since we're at it, because if Killer's there Color is never too far behind) and that's a hill I'm willing to die on.

Also, my brain gave me the name "shades of love trio" for them and it fucking slaps, so one more reason to make them buddies

[keeps-ache]

been telling my siblings 'you would NOT make it in vulcan academy' when they do smth goofy recently and nobody's been able to refute lol

[gatorbites-imagines]

Oh i get to offer Swatch to my favourite writer??? Excellent!!!

Please consider i'm so gay for that charming bird and i want to kiss him so hard his glasses tilt sideways.

If you ever write anything about him i will give you my life

Swatch x Human male reader 

Headcanons 

I love Swatch, I love so many of the characters from Deltarune and Undertale. Like, Rudy? Asgore? Spamton? Sweet Capn Cakes? Come on man, they should be happy theres a screen holding me back. 

I was the fucking worst when it came to being in love with Sans and Papyrus back in the day. All the AUs? Yeah, I knew them like the back of my hand. I even made my own AU, back in the day. 

No spoilers for chapter 3 or 4. 

You were the only other human living in Hometown. You had been adopted by Cat family when you were a baby. Apparently, your human mother, and your cat mother, had been friends in college. 

Being the only other human had resulted in Kris clinging to you when they were younger, especially when they were hit with the “I'm not a monster like my family” phase, one you had gone through too. 

You used to babysit Kris and Asriel when they were younger too, even if Asriel always claimed he was too old to be babysat. Instead, you guys just called it “hanging out”. 

After high school, you moved out of Hometown and to the bigger city, starting a degree in coding and computer science. You still came home at least one weekend a month though. 

You met Swatch on one of the lucky weeks where all your classes had been cancelled, for days even, so you took the chance and drove home. Of course, you spent the first while with your parents, then your sisters, even visiting Catti at the diner where she worked. 

But you felt a need to find your little buddy, even if Kris wasn't that little anymore. Call it your human alliance, but Kris had always felt like a little sibling to you. 

Jockington told you that she had seen Kris head towards the library after school, so you went there, assuming they were farting about in the computer lab playing games like always. 

How you end up in the Dark World is lost to you, it just... kinda happened. You couldn't really figure out what Class you were supposed to be, or if this world even had those kinds of things. 

It just reminded you a lot of the few sessions of Dungeons & Dungeons (because Dungeons & Dragons wouldn't be fantasy in a world with dragons) you had played with your art club back at college. 

But hey, you had magic. Something you didn't have back on the surface, or whatever you should call it, being human and all. 

You end up just kinda wandering around, talking to some different monsters, and you figure out that Kris is supposed to be down here and is wanted? By the Queen? 

Anyways, one way or another you end up at the Queens mansion, and feeling tired from all the walking you saddle up in the Color Cafe. It helps that the shopkeeper is so handsome too. 

Dess always giggled about your love for butler characters in media, so what if you loved Otome games and anime, she and Asriel were big nerds too. 

You end up spending the rest of the day, just sitting in the cafe and talking to Swatch. Hes all professional and sharp edges in the beginning, but you start to wear him down and you get to see the real him. 

You even pump a fist on the inside when you get him to blush. It hadn't even been on purpose, you just touched his hand, wanting to show him your cool new magic. 

It wasn't like you were good at it, you hadn't even figured out what your magic really did yet, but Swatch got all red in the face, and his feathers started puffing up. 

It was so cute you wanted to bite your plate hard enough to break it. It ends with Swatch clearing his throat, adjusting his glasses like an anime character (you had to contain your “Kyaah” at that one), and offering to teach you. 

And so, you guys spend a good hour, maybe two, working on your magic. There were no costumers during this time, so you get a feeling Swatch might have flipped the door sign to CLOSED. 

Especially because, he starts pulling the good ol “let me adjust your arm for you” move, getting up behind you and supporting your arms with his own. 

All was good and dandy until this purple monster girl you have only seen in passing barge in, complaining about the shop being closed. 

Imagine you, Swatch, and the group of heroes- and hey, there's Kris, all freezing. Kris is stoic as always, but you swear you see their eyes widen and mouth open in shock, and the other two just look equally shocked at the sight of you. 

Both you and Swatch cough and sputter, the shopkeeper fluttering back to his spot and brushing down his puffy feathers. Seeing him immediately snap into his butler-sona almost makes you crack up. 

It takes a bit, but you get yourself introduced, completely ignoring the situation they had walked in on, and you figure out their mission too. 

Kris seems to struggle against... something... for a bit, before they leave. Its a bit scary, honestly, but they free themselves from whatever is holding them back, and hurry over to give you a tense hug. You'll have to ask them what that's about later. 

But, you stay in the cafe as Kris, Susie and Ralsei, rush off to be the heroes the prophecy wants them to be. And you? You have a hot butler to keep flirting with. 

In the end, you do appear in the battle against the Queen, cuz nobody gets to kick your human pal's ass, other than you in Super Smashing Fighters. 

When Queen is defeated, and the Dark Fountain is shut down, you are heartbroken at the thought that your new boo would cease to exist.  

Imagine your joy when Kris and Susie bring you with them to Castle Town, where your pretty bird is now manning the bar? Restaurant? Cafe? 

Learning that Darkners can't leave the Dark World does mess you up, especially after you and Swatch get closer. You swear to find a way to make it possible, because you promised him a date in the big city. 

You do feel your face flush a little when the Swatchlings appear, all so big, sharp and ready to serve.  

Swatch lets out a barely hidden huff, his neck feathers puffing up differently to when he's flustered. You would never pick the Swatchlings over him, obviously, but they are really cute... 

Being one of the Lightners also means Ralsei makes you a room of your own too, the cute Darkner princess having been so observant during your conversations that he fits it right to your tastes 

And... it means you can bring Swatch there so you guys can be alone. Up until that point you guys would have mostly spoken in the cafe and the bar he runs in Castle Town.  

Here, you two can be completely yourselves and learn all the small things about each other. 

And here you guys can kiss, because by god you have been starving to do so since you guys meet. Swatch is so cute when he kisses, as his glasses get all skewed up, and he starts tittering. 

Hes so polite and careful, and admits he doesn't have much, if any, experience, because hes always been serving and doing other things. 

And you, you are ready to help him figure out everything he doesn't know. At least for the while you are still in Hometown, after that, you have to find a way to bring him with you... 

[jthealien]

Unfashionable Aroace Lesbian Rates Buddy’s Outfits

I may not be qualified to do this (see reasons above) but I do like making lists.

Please note that I’m not trying to genuinely criticize any of the designs, this is all just for funsies! :3 Also my rating scale is very subjective and arbitrary.

Normal Outfit: 5.5/10

—If I'm being real it’s a little goofy,, maybe it’s the stripes

—It’s funny that this is one of his less revealing outfits, and it’s at a point where he hates Chase (having your boobs out as a metaphor for trust or something)

———

Toffee Break: 8.5/10

—I really like the gemstones and the headband, so shiny!!

—Idk I just think this one is nice

—Extra points for cat

—The chest window here was a gateway drug for him showing more skin in all the other outfits

———

We Need to Talk: 8/10

—Oh wow I like the sparkly outfit with gems/crystals who could’ve guessed

—The patterns!!

—And it’s blue!! I think he should wear other colors more often, they look good on him

———

Beach Boys: 6/10

—I mean the tattoo is pretty cool. Don’t have much else to say

—The bracelets and anklets are nice I like those

———

Dreams by Day: 9/10

—It makes me so sad that this is a one-off outfit. I love it so much.

—Like I said, he needs to wear more colors, green especially

—The earrings! Look at them!! He never misses on the jewelry tbh

—Also the scales are super neat

———

Sick Days: 9.5/10

—Guys this honestly might be my favorite outfit of his

—It ticks all the boxes of Things I Like (sparkly stuff, gemstones, feathers/birds, moons)

—I really love the gemstones below the eyes idk what is it about them

—The feather jacket with the big collar!!

—The sort of loose sheer top that fades into being opaque is also fun love that

—Something about this outfit makes him look so pretty. Is it the eye gems it seriously might be the gems (crow brain)

———

Dreams by Night: 7/10

—It’s cool, I like the sheer cape thingy

—He still has to dress up even when he’s dead and in some else’s subconscious <3 (commitment to the bit I respect it)

-(I’m not rating the tattered rag outfit in his own dream I think that’d be mean)

———

All that Glitters: 9/10

—The hairstyle really suits him, but it’s funny he changed it one (1) time and never again. (Honestly same, I never change up my hair I’m afraid of ruining it Forever)

—He kind of has the miles edgeworth cut going on, maybe that’s why I like it

—The waist cape is very pretty with the pattern (is it called a waist cape,, I don’t know fashion terms)

—Eye makeup!!!! Hell Yeah!!!!!!

—King of doing cool things one time and never again (please bring back the makeup)

———

Honor Among Thieves: 6.5/10

—eh

—Look I’m aware I’m not the target audience, I just personally think it was better with the hoodie on (that version gets an extra .5)

—The earring eats though

———

Requiem: 9/10

(Guess who just learned that there’s a 10 image per post limit on the app. I cba so we’re going imageless the last two </3)

—Devil symbolism let’s go!!!

—Love the top honestly, the web-like stuff around the cutouts is cool, and so are the thorns. (Bonus points for the thorn symbolism love that shit)

—The devil’s tail on the pants is a neat detail (pun not intended)

—The little horns! Cute!

—Might be the opposite of their intended effect but I think his fangs are really cute,, he’s so cat idk how else to explain it. I wish he had them all the time.

———

Still Waters: 9.5/10

-He’s so gorjus,,

-Listen. Ok. Something about this one makes him kind of look like a butch lesbian. Do we see the vision or am I insane.

-I really don’t have any other justification for why this one ranked so high, it’s the vibes

-Also return of the earrings!! Basically a cheat code to get me to like an outfit more

-Says something that one of my favorite outfits is the one where he’s showing the least skin (it says that I’m gay)

———

Final Ranking!!

1: Sick Days

2: Still Waters

3: Requiem

4: All that Glitters

5: Dreams by Day

6: Toffee Break

7: We Need to Talk

8: Dreams by Night

9: Honor Among Thieves

10: Beach Boys

11: Default Skin

[mazzystar24]

Things that make no sense except they make a lot of sense if you think how I think:

Eddie is a lesbian in another life and every wlw has a legit soulbond to this man

If they were cats Buck would be an orange cat or a calico and Eddie would be a black cat but specifically those straight haired long boys not the fluff ball ones (even if his real hair is very fluffy its about the energy these cats give)

Buck loves people (because I’m including past relationships too) like taylor swift or Maisie peters songs while Eddie loves buck like hozier or Mitski songs

Christmas makes buddie gayer

Regardless of what you think bucks actual hair colour is- he is a blond at heart

If they were makeup girlies buck would bounce from floor makeup girl to vanity makeup girl and sometimes vanity with floor makeup energy meanwhile Eddie would be a vanity makeup girl

Eddie is a morning shower person Buck is a night shower person

Said this in another post but if buck is Taylor swift coded tommy is matty Healy (with a hint of John Mayer)

Bucks name starting with a B fits his personality and vibe (other first letters that would’ve been acceptable would be C, O and MAYBE an A and the occasional E) it is also the right amount of syllables for him

[whitebookposts]

*skitters towards your ask box autistically* do you have any teth headcanons :3

OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED ITS BEEN A FEW WEEKS AND I STILL HAVEN'T ANSWERED THIS. I AM SO SORRY I LIVE IN SHAME EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Anyway, Teth! Our deeply beloved forest cryptid. I have to be honest, I don't have as many headcanons about her as I do about some of my other fave elders, which is a thing I should work to change because Teth is awesome. But here are some I do have for now:

CAAAAT I think my good buddy @krillking has already spoken about Teth having cat traits in his animal elder post, but yeah. While in my headcanons, the animal traits are less defined, Teth still very much has cat behavior, like her irises widening or narrowing like a cat's, and she likes to sleep in the sun (which is trouble because. Forest is 90 percent clouds and rain. Thankfully she has the yard behind her temple and the sunny forest segment, though due to the whole thing happening in the kingdom, she could visit those comfort places less and less :<) and most importantly - purring. Which she is a bit shy about, so she rarely does it. If you get to catch her purr, it means that she trusts you enough to do it next to you, though she will still be embarrassed if you mention it out loud. (Also do not leave her anywhere near fancy furniture she will try to rip it with her claws. Yes, lamed learned it the hard way.)

TRANSGENDAAAAAAAAA Idk how to explain it but Teth is just so transfem coded. Goes by both she\her and they\them. It just makes so much sense that I don't even need any proof to know that, she has told me this herself. Gotta give @dogedepan for this one though since I stole this idea from her (like many others. Can't help it Chi your headcanons are awesome)

BEEFCAKE Let's be real, TGC is a bunch of cowards for making her slim. How can you look at this woman, who is a blacksmith, and can catch a giant flying hammer with one arm like it's no big deal, and not think that they have some impressive muscle? If you draw Teth buff I am forever in your debt. PLEASE I WANT TO SEE MORE BUFF TETH ART PLEA-

BESTIE Teth and Ayin are literally fated besties, be they platonic or romantic. Even in early concept art, Ayin was described as "Teth's friend" and held the key to her realm, just showing the level of trust between them. Their realms also work with each other really well, with Ayin being the main supply for Teth's factories which is what allowed her realm to grow. I like to think of them being childhood best friends, and that they have been by each other's side through the good and the bad. Remember that headcanon about Teth enjoying sleeping in sunny places? Prairie is perfect for that, and if she decides to take a nap while visiting it is no rarity for her to choose Ayin as a bed for that (soft). I don't really see em as romantic because I already ship Teth with someone else, but as an aromantic person, it's important for me to show intimacy like that even between friendships. Ayin is always there to lend an ear to Teth, being there for her through her worst, and Teth is Ayin's "EXCUSE ME THEY ASKED FOR NO PICKLES". Although, if we go to the sadder territory, their friendship did suffer a falling out during the turbulent era of the kingdom, with Teth closing off from everyone, including Ayin, too caught in her work and darkstone production to meet the ever-growing demands, and that led to Ayin also drowning in work to keep up the light supply. That is not to mention the different world views about light creatures and how worthy they are of preservation.

CRYBABY I just like to think that despite appearing cold and serious, Teth is a very gentle soul underneath the hard facade she forced herself to create due to her position. But if you get to know her you will find a very soft, shy, and caring heart that makes it easy for her eyes to water, be it a happy or sad occasion, even if she is trying to hide it. She is also a pretty big introvert and starts getting nervous during events with big crowds, esp if they have to do a speech as an elder or something. This gentleness and softness hidden behind a cold surface is one of the things that attracted Priestess to her, which leads me to the next point:

LESBIANNNNNN You may know this already but I'm a big PriesTeth truther, which is the ship between Priestess (the original elder of the Valley from concept art, never made it to the final game but there is a pretty popular fanon that she is the mother of the twins) and Teth. Again, I was enlightened about this ship thanks to @dogedepan she is literally the CEO of this ship god bless. I know it's a bit silly to ship her with an elder who never even made it to canon, but I fell in love with the dynamic of the "serious and cold at first glance but soft and gentle on the inside x extroverted, energetic and mischievous but deeply caring and kind" that exists between them. Priestess was Teth's firework, the bright and colorful in the grey and cold of her life. Never had the elder of the Forest loved someone like she did this bright, giggly, and open girl who managed to always make Teth smile. And it hurt all the more when Priestess was lost. After the death of her partner, Teth closed off completely, lost in her work, just to not feel the pain because the grief was overwhelming. She couldn't make herself go to her backyard anymore, because it was the connection between Valley and her forest and where the two met most of the time, being there was just too painful. Some ancestors say that the rain became much more frequent after this loss.

Milf As I ship priesteth, I also headcanon that Teth is the other parent of Sah and Mekh. Unfortunately, their relationship is very rocky. Priestess died when the two were very young, and due to Teth being too lost in her grief, she simply couldn't care for them, causing the two to be raised by other elders (mainly Tsadi, who is their uncle) and kicked around from temple to temple until they were old enough to live on their own. This caused feelings of betrayal and neglect in the two, and it came to the point that they rarely acknowledged Teth as their other parent anymore. And she feels too guilty before them to try and get them back because she believes she deserves this for her mistakes. But perhaps not everything is lost, and some of this relationship can be salvaged if she finally gets brave enough to reach out.

WORSTIE She and Tsadi have a beef. That's it that's the headcanon. It's not anything serious, it's literally a "cat and dog" type of beef, the two can't even tell when it started, it's just that both will use any opportunity to roast each other. Why do I have this headcanon? Because it's funny.

INSANE SITUATIONSHIP Let's just say that the situationship between Teth and Nesting guide still left the latter one staring at her pictures every day for hours.

Hobbies Other than being a blacksmith, Teth enjoys all types of crafts, like sculpting from clay or woodworking. Girlie doesn't need any IKEA, she can make all the furniture herself (I mean, the Nesting guide had to learn this from someone)

Anddddd.... That's all for now! There's probably more headcanons but I can't remember them all rn. I hope these were written good enough and sorry for any grammar mistakes! AND SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WAIT SO LONG I PROMISE I DIDN'T IGNORE YOU DJHGDJGDJ Teth is best forest mama, and I really should put more thought into her, thank you for sending me this ask so i can brainstorm about this gal.

[porkchopshuey]

Practice-scene 1

Towering skyscrapers stretched high into the clouds like pixelated monoliths. Roblox Industries, a gleaming beacon of creativity and order. Developers from across the grid flocked to work under its banner, crafting intricate worlds, fine-tuning security, and patching exploits before they could be used against them. At its helm sat Roblox himself—sharp-eyed, disciplined, and always three steps ahead. His mission? To build, protect, and expand his network, no matter the challenge.

Roblox sat at his desk, eyes fixed on the screen, his fingers dancing over the keyboard as he typed. He had deadlines to meet, bugs to fix, a whole system to maintain—no time for distractions.

Unfortunately, fate had other plans.

On the other side, lurking in the shadows, was Corp.666 Unlike its rival, who thrived in chaos, recruiting all the most notorious hackers, glitch exploiters, and black-hat coders that the underworld had to offer. Their leader, Guest666, ruled with a devilish grin and a mind built for destruction. He didn't create—he corrupted. Every firewall, every new update, every so-called "unbreakable" security measure from Roblox Industries was a game, an invitation to crack the code and slither through their very wires.

Guest666: Miss me?

Roblox exhaled sharply through his nose and closed the window. He wasn’t in the mood.

Guest666: Wow, rude. Is that any way to treat an old friend?

Close. Ignore. Keep working.

Guest666: Hellooo? Guest666: Knock knock~ Guest666: I’ll keep going.

Roblox sighed, minimizing the chat entirely. He typed out a command to block all incoming messages from 666.

[Error: User permissions restricted.]

"What the—"

Then the real chaos began. Messages flooded the screen, one after another, stacking on top of each other in an endless barrage.

The screen flickered. The messages multiplied. The text turned red, distorting as if the very code itself was being rewritten.

Roblox clenched his jaw, his fingers moving to counter the intrusion. He opened his system diagnostics, started isolating the breach—

then a new window forced itself open.

A video call.

Guest666 sat on the other end, grinning wide, his red eyes glowing with delight. He rested his chin on his hand, tilting his head playfully. "Aww, you look so mad. I love it."

Roblox glared at him. "What do you want?"

666 stretched, yawning dramatically. "Oh, nothing much. Just wanted to see how my favorite rival is doing. You look stressed."

"You just flooded my entire system with garbage messages!"

"Aw, don’t be so sensitive." 666 smirked. "You should thank me—I’m testing your defenses for free."

Roblox took a deep breath, fingers already typing. "Fine. Let’s see how you like it."

A few keystrokes, a silent command—

Thus, Guest666’s screen began to glitch, his smug expression freezing mid-smirk. Then, his entire connection cut out.

Roblox leaned back in his chair, satisfied. "Idiot."

deep down, in the quiet corners of his mind, Roblox felt something strangely familiar in all this. It was routine now—the taunts, the teasing, the cat-and-mouse game they played through code. For every firewall he built, 666 found a way through. For every loophole Guest exploited, Roblox patched it before he could do real damage. ---------------

Roblox barely had a second to breathe after silencing 666's endless messages when the door to his office swung open without a knock.

"Hey there, sport!"

Builderman.

Roblox looked up, already dreading what was coming. The man strode in with the confidence of someone who owned the place—which, of course, he did. His suit was crisp, his smile unwavering, radiating that strange, corporate warmth that made it impossible to outright hate him.

"Got some fresh tasks for ya!" Builderman announced cheerily, slapping a thick folder onto Roblox’s already cluttered desk. "Nothing too crazy—just a couple hundred exploit reports, a few security patches, and, oh! A backlog of bug fixes from last month. You’re the best, buddy. Knew I could count on ya!"

Before Roblox could get a word in—before he could even blink—Builderman turned on his heel and strolled right back out. No pause, no waiting for a response, just pure, unshakable faith that Roblox would handle it.

Roblox stared at the folder. Then at the door. Then back at the folder.

A notification pinged on his screen.

Guest666: PFFFFTTT HAHAHAHAHA

[le-agent-egg]

About the fanon Ishimondo thing you were talking about, I feel obligated to talk about it because I also HATE IT SO MUCH

I feel like there's a lot to unfold here about how problematic and mischaractezing fanon Ishimondo is, like Taka being kinda autistic coded and people infatilizing him to no end acting like he doesn't know about anything and how he is such an "innocent beam" sounds kinda ableist to me? That's the same guy that joked around Makoto about a dead corpse in his bathroom, told him AND Mondo to get naked, and also canonically called Monokuma a son of a bitch??? He is NOT innocent 😭 he probably only keeps that stuff to himself. Plus I also feel like Taka being treated as so feminine is so.... trying to make them fit into heteronormative roles, dammit Mondo and Taka are both MEN!! Just because Taka is like. centimeters (I don't know about inches and I refuse to learn it) smaller than Mondo people make him super feminine????? HELLO????

And about Mondo..... You're so real for saying that it takes away from Mondo's character, Mondo is like that character that you look and immediately assume things about him because he looks like the typical bravo man character, but only looking at him that way is wrong, because he is NOT like that, Mondo struggles so much with his self esteem, he is an anxious insecure mess and he hides that side from others using his anger and what he thinks would make him manlier. Looking at Mondo as just the strong man character is like failing to look at what he truly is, AND THAT'S WHY FANON ISHIMONDO GETS HIM SO WRONG!!! BECAUSE PEOPLE FAIL TO LOOK AT WHAT'S HIDDEN BEHIND HIS MANLY PERSONA. No one can look at me and say that the same man who got rejected 10 times because he shouts when he gets nervous is a fucking playboy who dates different people every single day. MONDO IS A LOSER, he definitely doesn't get bitches, that's a pathetic loser bottom and no one can convince me otherwise

In this household we hate fanon Ishimondo, we should actually gather everyone who thinks the same way and make our own content because I am TIRED

MOOT!! YOU ARE SO REAL FOR EVERYTHING YOU SAID

i can’t believe i didn’t touch on how it’s lowkey ableist to make taka (one of like 7 or 8 autistic coded characters in this god forsaken dogshit franchise) just an “uwu soft submissive baby 🥺” like HOLY FUCK this guy literally says to makoto “omg i’m so sorry your girlfriend died anyway RIP OFF YOUR CLOTHES AND SHOW ME YOUR C*CK SO WE CAN BOND LIKE MEN 💪💪💪” saying taka is just an innocent bean who doesn’t know anything about sex and needs his big strong boyfriend to teach him everything is just?? wRONG?? listen if taka is a model student and gets top grades in every subject that INCLUDES sex ed (please laugh i’m hilarious)

and mondo… his WHOLE STORY IS ABOUT HIM KEEPING UP A FALSE PERSONA OF BEING MACHO AND STRONG TO MASK HIS INSECURITIES BECAUSE OF HIS TRAUMA!!!!! mondo what did they DO TO YOU 😭😭 he is literally one of the most sopping wet cat pathetic characters in not just thh but the whole fucking franchise. an. and you’re making him the stupid playboy. not to rant about leon but it’s a similar problem with him where in a sense, if you make them just dumb playboys who just want to fuck bitches or whatever you’re. erasing their trauma. mondo’s self esteem is so awful, how are you gonna actually fucking say “well since he puts up a mask of being confident, he must actually be confident!” media literacy isn’t even dead you’ve cremated it doused it in gasoline and lit it on fire at this point. just making him yell occasionally because he’s nervous does not equal him being a genuine nervous wreck. like mondo buddy i get you and i think that’s why it makes me so so angry to see people literally make a brand new character so they can write their hot yaoi fanfic 😍🥰 i know this is a serious conversation with serious undertones about mischaracterization of two fan favourites but MONDO IS NOT A TOP!! HE IS A BOTTOM!! HE IS A PATHETIC LOSER BOTTOM WHO SHOULD BE GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS!!!!!!!!!

and like i don’t wanna touch on what i put at the bottom of my huge rant but… cmon. i have such a huge problem with how taka is characterized especially as someone who’s. yeah. you can still write that but completely ignoring it just so you can write more hot yaoi sex is. come on. fuck off

moot you’re very correct i don’t trust anyone outside of like tumblr and a couple other people on other platforms with these two. fuck fanon ishimondo all my homies hate fanon ishimondo

[growling]

List of fictional* characters I am pointing at and going "PLURAL" they are plural trust me on this shit

Cinderheart warrior cats (actual canon basis for that lmao actually. though not anymore after Cinderpelt left her body)

Moonpaw warrior cats (once again. canon basis. she's literally got a headmate)

Jayfeather warrior cats (the whole time travel plot when piloting his previous incarnation like a flesh puppet and having two separate identities and lives was. hm. i would accept him lmao)

Izumi Kyouka, Lucy Montgomery, Nakajima Atsushi, Akutagawa Ryunosuke, Mori Ougai, Nakahara Chuuya bsd (why is every ability user in this hellhole so unintentionally (or are they....) plural coded. ah yes, bungou stray dogs, the plural anime sexypersons show. thank you bsd for feeling ur npd'ers with Edogawa Ranpo and Edgar Allan Poe and ur plurals with. literally almost everybody else)

Hinata Hajime & Kamukura Izuru danganronpa (actual popular headcanon I believe lmao)

Enoshima Junko danganronpa (i think some people have made posts abt that too at some point but im not really looking to find them... the silly)

Ouma Kokichi danganronpa (buddy trust me on this)

Yuma Kokohead & Shinigami rain code (i have been a massive believer in kokogami just being a system ever since mutual shinigamichan started posting about this)

Yomi Hellsmile rain code (little to no clear basis except for my own word (which is absolute) but i will stand by this. this man is plural. and also schizospec. and also a narcissist. and also msn autistic. and also he's got everything i got and maybe even more... the disorder collector)

*Except for Yomi that motherfucker got real. no one can contain a homunculus properly in this day and age anymore .

[gamercats-fight]

Morgana from Person 5 vs Krampy from Cattails: Wildwood Story. Vote for your fav!!

Need help picking? Check down here!

Morgana - P-Studio - 2016 - Anthropomorphic tuxedo cat:

-If we’re including his abilities in Mementos/Palaces then he has a clear advantage of being able to use his persona to cast spells as well as fight. He also uses a curved sword and a slingshot. If hurt he also has healing spells. His appearance in this form is mascot-esque, but don’t let his big head fool you—he’s quite agile. Having a persona at all grants the wielder extreme abilities. Fast enough to dodge lightning, take incredible damage and even able to fight against gods. This strength is only granted in places they can summon their persona, i.e. not the real world.

Even in his cat form while in the real world, he is extremely dexterous: able to pick locks. He’s also taken a kick from a guy and having a metal briefcase land directly on his head following a bit of a fall. Not altogether impressive but still something for a cat to endure. He’s also smarter than the average cat, giving him a nice advantage.

He does eventually become human in Persona 5 Royal, but is just a cat at the end of the original game.

-He can turn into a car and run over any competition. He’s a master thief and fought god once. Also he has a slingshot.

-1: THIS CAT IS A HEALER! He gets the best healing spell in the entire game and when I got it on him, I don't think he ever left my party

2: THIS CAT CARES ABOUT YOUR HEALTH AND WELL BEING! It's become a meme at this point, but Mona wants you to go to sleep >:(

(P5 Spoilers Beyond this Point)

3: THIS CAT IS THE COLLECTIVE HOPE OF HUMMANITY! It's explained late game, but Morgana was created through the last scraps of humanities hope against the false god that the party eventually fights

4: THIS CAT EXPOSED A MURDERER! Its not important but the scene IS funny so I feel obligated to mention it.

THIS CAT IS YOUR BUDDY AND I LOVE HIM AND WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY DYING BREATH!!!!

-Everyone hates him for the stupid “go to sleep” mechanic + some of his issues with another character but he’s such a good boy i love him so much. he’s always with you, helping you out and supporting you! plus he’s so little brother coded oh my god. baby. baby boy. spoilers for p5: also he’s literally the manifestation of hope like guys. hope is a cat. hope is stored in the cat.

Krampy - Falcon Development - 2023 - Gray tabby medicine cat

-He's so autism

-Cattails is like Stardew Valley for warrior cat fans, and Krampy is a fan favorite for several good reasons. He's a kind of eccentric medieval doctor who also has trouble relating to other cats because of his weird experiments and love of leeches, but that passion also makes him very charming as a character. He's got a tendency to ramble and tell long stories and is just really wholesome all around. Also he wears a plague doctor mask which is just a really cool design choice.

-The iconic doctor of the Mystic Colony. Who doesn't want a medicine cat with a plague mask?? And they are a real character too. Some of their best quotes:

"“Actually, I don't believe we've been introduced. I am Krampy the doctor, and don't worry! I am not a bird. Although when I had that concussion, I did think I was... ... What was I saying again?"

“Greetings young kitten. Do you mind if I put leeches on your tail? It's for science. And, I think it would be funny. Or I could do it to myself... But then what will I do tomorrow?"

“I think you should wear a beaky mask, it will protect you in this world. I wish not to see my friends hurt. Although that is bad for business... bit of a double-edged sword. Don’t get hurt too often!”

“You have the worst-smelling miasma I have ever smelled! I can smell you from miles away! Why don't you roll in some garbage? - It can only improve your odor, and you end up where you belong!"

[purgemarchlockdown]

Ah what the heck I'll post it through here

So in some discord servers, you've seen me specualte that Amane's uniform is inspired by the private Catholic Fukuoka Kaisei girl's school affiliated primary school (福岡海星女子学院附属小学校)

Now, because of the name, I assumed this was an all girls primary school And that the picture above was of 4 girls and the school simply allowed children to wear either skirts or shorts (its uncommon for Japanese elementary schools to have uniform to begin with so I could see a laxer dress code when it comes to stuff like this)

However After a bit more reading of their website Turns out that the Fukuoka Kaisei girl's school affiliated primary school Despite the name Has in fact been a co-ed/mixed gender primary school for the last 50-so years And while I can't find a dress code on their website It does seem like all the students in pictures on their site who wear shorts are boys

Anyway to cut a long story short: Amane's uniform actually resembles the boys one more than the girls (shorts instead of skirt + no ribbon + more central buttons)

And I know you like the trans girl Amane theory so I figured you'd enjoy this info

The only disclaimer I have to give is that the long haired child whose father tattles on Amane is in the same uniform (shorts and all)

So like if this is a girl then occam's razor is that girls at Amane's school just wear shorts (also it'd be strange for Amane's cult to follow gender rolls Except for hair?? idk maybe im overthinking)

TRANS AMANE BELIEVERS WE MIGHT STAY WINNING!!!! It would be weird if they did follow the entire dress code Except for the hair. Additionally those buttons are tripping me up since their Buttoned like the girls so this actually comes somewhere more in the middle of the Both of them...if it does turn out my insane "Amane perceives gender in the same way a cat does, it's just there" catthing Amane idea is real I'm going to explode.

Regarding the girl though...I can't believe I can unveil my insane Queer Infighting Amane idea- okay so in cults it's generally heavily encouraged to outright spy and tattle on people who misbehave:

(BITE)

Information Control: Encourage spying on other members a. Impose a buddy system to monitor and control member b. Report deviant thoughts, feelings and actions to leadership c. Ensure that individual behavior is monitored by group

I think, and this is pure speculation there's is very little supporting this I just like the idea. It be fun if they were BOTH trans.

My reasoning behind this is, first of all Amane doesn't seem to have many friends. Her T2 distorted voiceline has her say:

Father is a very praiseworthy person. Once his virtue increases, he'll come back home, right? It's a little lonely, but I'm fine!

Which, okay it's fair that her homelife is lonely, this doesn't necessarily inform her school life. But if we go to the Prison she's rather isolated overall.

Even in T1. Yuno and Mahiru are people she considers "close" but that's after mulling it over a bit due to being asked.

T1Q10: Is there any prisoner you're close with? A: If I were to say, I guess it would be Yuno and Mahiru.

It's not for a lack of Trying, she tries very hard actually. It's just that people tend to note the way she acts is weird and that gets exasperated in T2 where it's said she's pretty isolated.

But also, I was discussing with a mutual about her relation with this peer and they said that it's possible that this question:

T2Q11: Did you love the person you killed? A: I loved them.

Is referring to a Second Victim (This child) and Not her mother because...well one Amane has shown Very Little Fondness for her mother, and two it's entirely possible she killed multiple people because her staff in Purge March has blood on it Before she gets to her house.

Second thing: Cat Symbolism, Cat Symbolism stay winning forever. There is substantial amount of subtext you can wring out of the Cat being representative of sin and impurity, and Amane taking care of it and also being the Cat. Same with having her be "found out" by a peer and then sold out to, to her Religious Fundamentalist parents.

So now we go into my insane, circumstantial evidence, idea of Queer Infighting. I love WKTD and a big thing in that game is that even if your a "bad kid" if there's someone "worse" than you, you can live another day. And this kid can be anyone, the devil can be Anyone.

Amane has stated an inability to be a good girl:

Only if, only if, only if I could be a good girl

And a lack of desire to exactly "be one" since it requires her not being...herself, and she's happy with who she is.

T2Q20: How do you feel about you not being like everyone else? A: Nevertheless I was born as myself, so I'm happy

So, I'm just saying on a purely speculatory "this would be fun" basis. If we got queer infighting 12 year olds who are trying their best to be "good." I would explode.

Also, she is paralleled with both Mukuhara Kazui and known Genderless Freak Es so, yknow.

[kipperlillyforpresident]

I’m so sorry but I gotta jump in as a guy who’s normal about warrior cats to offer some ideas that are mostly vibe and less similar to their real names:

For Lucy, Frostwish is honestly perfect but something like Echofrost could be nice- also the -heart suffix is often for very noble cats but Frostheart reads a little weird so I’d go with Flurryheart or something in that case

others: Frostflame or Flurryflame, Shiverheart, Brightfrost

For Kipperlilly, I like having Lily somewhere in the name because lilies are horrendously toxic to cats, also she needs four syllables it’s non negotiable. She’s Mad so there’s a fair chance of her getting a -claw name but I don’t really like that for her, I kind of am partial to Flicker as a prefix both for sound and because it’s sort of associated with fire (any name associated with the colour red would also be good for this reason)

various ideas: Flickerpetal, Cinderlily, Ripplewhisker

Ivyshade is also really good and Ivy is just already a great prefix, my only other ideas would be variations on that— Fernshade, Ivythorn, Ivydusk

Berrybee is 10/10, only other ideas is Bumbleberry

For Oisín I’m with you on the storm stuff, naturally— Stormclaw keeps it simple, otherwise Adderstorm to keep a reptilian element. Bonus: Oisín means “little deer”, it’s cute to think he got named something like Fawnkit and then got super buff so the leader was just like “uhh Fawnstorm”

Ruben: existing names that give a similar vibe to “hop” would be like,, Spring, Leap, Flight, Step- flight is funny to me because he’s getting mobbed for autographs he’s gotta go- I’m partial to the idea of him getting named Shellkit and later receiving an emo suffix but I don’t know what that would be jfjjfjdk.

ideas: Shellfang, Shellsong, Hopleap, Whistlespring (wait no that’s gorgug), Whistleflight

Buddy,,, hoo buddy. He’d be given a Sun name more than likely, Dawn or Sun or Ray or something, I kind of like the idea of Sundapple (patchy sunlight, wavering faith) but it sounds like a juice flavour. Risingdawn, Dawncloud, Sunfall, Lightseed

Bonus round: Kristen as Applebee for the meme, Porter rising to power as Shatterstar, Fig as Houndheart because German shepherd mode

bonus bonus: kipperlilly would hate to be average and unremarkable. Imagine she gets a suffix like -fur or -tail or -pelt

you and me discussing warrior cat names.

THESE ARE ALL SO GOOOD. and YES i had thought about the -heart suffix, but i agreed it seemed like. well. it seemed like an insult. cold-hearted. but flurryheart is soo cute.

and all of your alt kipperlilly names... all so good.... this is the one universe where she wont be bullied for her name. WE ALL HAVE NAMES LIKE FLICKERPETAL!!!

and omg. fawnstorm is adorable.

and omg i didnt even think abt tying in his beach era. shell is such a cute prefix for him. it also makes me feel like all of the rat grinders are in riverclan tbh. because the bad kids are sooo thunderclan coded right. and so au where tbk and trg are just fighting over sunningrocks. (btw sunningrocks belongs to riverclan idgaf. THEYRE USING IT TO HUNT!! THOSE THUNDERCLAN FUCKS JUST WANT TO SUNBATHE!!!)

also sundapple does have such a cool meaning but ur right it is soooo juice coded JKNHGH.

and ohg my god waaittt. me when Phoenixstar (aguefort) renames Graystone (porter) into Shatterstone after a brutal injury .... and then Shatterstone and Shimmerdust (jace) kill him.... and Shatterstar rises to power...

[patrochillesvibes]

38 & 39?

I do have some thoughts on these topics...

38. If/when they have kids, what is their parenting style (or pets-who does what)?

Ah, so this is their one problem. Achilles is cat coded and Patroclus is a dog person. Achilles hates dogs, so can’t be pet parents. They’re just going to have to have babies, then.

Achilles is THE embarrassing (cringe) parent. He is a very active parent, involved in EVERYTHING. He does a lot of hovering, wanting to make sure his babies are okay and get everything they need. He cries about everything, first time baby walks, first loose tooth, first day of school, graduation, recital etc. For the first day of Uni, Achilles will act like his baby is abandoning him. He requires lots of hugs and kisses from his babies. And very sentimental too, he will frame every piece of art baby draws. I guess you could say that his life will revolve around his babies. He has too much separation anxiety to ever be one of those working parents.

Patroclus is a normal parent, or at least Achilles makes him look normal. He’s usually the one who says no mostly bcs someone in the family has to say no. He gives the best advice. If baby had any problems, Pat would know how to fix it. Pat is always proud of his babies, no matter what grades they get etc.

39. Do they get along with the other's family? If not, how do they deal with the other's family?

I don’t actually think Thetis dislikes Patroclus. It’s all in his head that his MIL is out to get him. She can be a bit tough on him, true, but she only wants what’s best for her son. She’s a little easier on him once she gets some grandbabies. I think Thetis would visit regularly once there’s grandbabies.

Peleus isn’t very good with kids. He doesn’t know what to do with them. Or he at least never knew what to do with Achilles and all his energy. He always let Achilles have or do whatever he wanted as it was easier than dealing with a 4-yo having a screaming tantrum so bad he passes out.

Peleus is old country club money friends with Menoetius, so the match with Patroclus is alright with him. Perhaps if Patroclus was more into cigars and old scotch and was a member at the club, then they’d get along grand. But he doesn’t, so Peleus doesn’t really know how to bond with him. They are very polite with each other. It used to stress Pat out that he needed to get Peleus’ approval, but he’s come to terms with who Peleus is. Whenever he’s around grandbabies he gives them money and a pat on the head. He visits for birthdays and holidays.

The Menoetius situation could be best described as a ticking time bomb.

Menoetius thinks there’s something wrong with Achilles and is not marriage material. He usually keeps his distance. He liked that his son and Achilles were friends, it’s a good connection, but Achilles is more fuck buddy material than anything more serious. Menoetius was a BIG fan of Pat’s ex-girlfriend (more about that in a sec). Each time they broke up he would try to set Pat up with some nice, normal girls to help him get back in the game and steer clear of Achilles.

Achilles is always very polite and nice to his FIL, despite the uneasiness. He is completely obvious to Menoetius’ feelings.

Okay, so about the “ex-girlfriend”… Well. There are days when Achilles feels rather femme. On these days, which are random, she prefers to be called Pyrrha. Now Pyrrha could best be described as High Femme. Think of the girliest girl you know, Pyrrha is girlier.

There were four occasions where Menoetius met Pyrrha. The first was an absolute nightmare. Pat was like ‘haha take off the disguise and get serious we’re about to have lunch with my father.’ Pyrrha was insulted. Frustrated Pat was like ‘Stop it you’re doing this for the bit’ and Pyrrha screamed ‘This is not a bit this is who I am.’ And it just crumbled into their first real argument. After a lot of tears, Pyrrha won. And so, Menoetius got to meet Pyrrha. Pat can’t bring himself to tell his father the truth.

Since no two sources can agree on who Pat’s mom was, I think it’s better we go with the hc she’s dead.

[mattapparentlystumbltourneys]

BRACKET REVEAL

Alright. At long last, I present to you the bracket...or should I say...*BRACKETS* for the Virtual Character Tournament!

Given the scale, the first round is going to be one bracket per week, 4 a day, with each lasting 24 hours. I know that this is still tight, but given how many contestants there are, along with the necessary inclusions of images and propaganda (oh and I guess also my job), it's what I can do to keep this semi-manageable. There's also no redemption round this time. It's gonna be a single elimination tournament. Be kind to your peers. This is not but a drop in the infinite ocean of the internet.

...oh yeah the brackets themselves. We'll be going in order over the course of 4 weeks. I'll make proper announcements for them as they commence. Given how many there are and what I want to get done beforehand, Bracket 1 will likely begin some time this week. But for the matchups...

Bracket 1:

Hatsune Miku (Vocaloid) vs. Elohim (The Talos Principle)

Flame (Yu-Gi-Oh! VRains) vs. The Supervisor/Mouthless (Tenkuu Shinpan)

XANA (Code Lyoko) vs. MetalMan.EXE (Mega Man Battle Network)

9-Jack-9 (Zot!) vs Poppy Pipopapo (Kamen Rider Ex Aid)

Sage (Sonic Frontiers) vs Mektryllis (Fate/Extra CCC)

Dot Matrix (Reboot) vs V Flower (Vocaloid)

Wizardmon (Digimon) vs Delta (Red Vs. Blue)

Sora (Ever17) vs Kasane Teto (UTAU)

The Doctor/EMH (Star Trek Voyager) vs Crash (Awful Hospital)

Burroughs (Shin Megami Tensei IV) vs Quorra (Tron Legacy)

The Machine (Person of Interest) vs The Rocket Dex (Pokemon)

P03 (Inscription) vs. M.X.E.S (FNAF Security Breach: Ruins)

Hakuno Kishinami (Fate/EXTRA) vs Data Riku (Kingdom Hearts)

Samaritan (Person of Interest) vs ART (The Murderbot Diaries)

Cortana (Halo) vs M-Bot (Skyward)

Mitsuko Miyazumi (Archer) vs Ritsu (Assassination Classroom)

Bracket B:

Ene (Kagerou Project) vs The Thunderhead (Arc of a Scythe)

Amadeus (Steins; Gate 0) vs D.O.M (The Adventure Zone)

AM (I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream) vs Theo (Meta Runner)

Colonel.EXE (Mega Man Battle Network) vs Daia (Kiratto PriChan)

Agumon (Digimon) vs The Bobbiedots (FNAF Fazbear Frights)

Felix the Desktop Cat (Real Life) vs SHODAN (System Shock)

MegaMan.EXE (Mega Man Battle Network) vs Church (Red vs. Blue)

Shepherd (ENA) vs Dr. Coomer (Half Life VR But the AI is Self-Aware)

Sophie/Sophia (Persona 5 Strikers) vs Dizzy (Beyblade)

Miss J/SCP 5094 (SCP) vs Ultraman X (Ultraman X)

SAYU (No Straight Roads) vs Falulu (Pripara)

Incarceron (Incarceron) vs Benry (Half Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware)

Lea (Crosscode) vs Kiracchu (Kiratto PriChan)

Dragon (Prahumans) vs Murder-Bot 2.0 (The Murderbot Diaries)

Ai (Yu-Gi-Oh! VRains) vs Glitch Slime (Slime Rancher)

Eris (Wolf 359) vs Monika (Doki Doki Literature Club)

Bracket III:

Hera (Wolf 359) vs Shin AI (Your Turn to Die)

Alba (Star Twinkle Pretty Cure) vs The Denpa Men (The Denpa Men)

Guy (Free Guy) vs EDI (Mass Effect)

Aetna (Lore Olympus) vs Yui (Sword Art Online)

Nicole the Holo-Lynx (Archie Sonic) vs Gabumon (Digimon)

Jacqueline Box (Pripara) vs Mamechi (Tamagotchi)

Vanellope von Shweetz (Wreck-It Ralph) vs Cleverbot (Real Life)

The Phantom Virus (Scooby-Doo) vs Chiaki Nanami (Danganronpa)

Alter Ego (Danganronpa) vs Digit (Cyberchase)

Simulcast (Reflection TTRPG) vs SARA (Toonami)

Lumina Ichihoshi (Dig Delight Direct Drive DJ) vs The World Machine (OneShot)

Rumble McSkirmish (Gravity Falls) vs Holly (Red Dwarf)

HAL 9000 (2001: A Space Odyssey) vs Samantha (Her)

PAMA (Minecraft Story Mode) vs Noah Kaiba (Yu-Gi-Oh!)

Agent Smith (The Matrix) vs O.R.C.A (Splatoon)

Spunc (Alpha Betas) vs Porygon (Pokemon)

Bracket Delta:

GIFanny (Gravity Falls) vs Coco (Aikatsu Friends)

Vic Fontaine (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) vs Red One (The Last Angel)

Glitchtrap (FNAF Help Wanted) vs Holo (My Holo Love)

Avina (Mass Effect) vs Light Hope (She-Ra)

Motherboard (Cyberchase) vs Aya (Green Lantern: The Animated Series)

Bonzi Buddy (Real Life) vs Tama (AI The Somnium Files)

Dragon (Worm) vs Bip (Runway to the Stars)

Failsafe (Destiny) vs J.A.R.V.I.S (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

Aiba (AI: The Somnium Files) vs CanHaz (DC Comics)

SAYER (SAYER) vs Fey (Welcome to Night Vale)

Buddy (Buddy Simulator 1984) vs Ziggy (Quantum Leap)

Maggy (Hellspark) vs The Squip (Be More Chill)

Lyla (Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse) vs Durandal (Marathon)

Beta Jay 137 (Ninjago) vs Zero III (Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward)

Sergey Ushanka (The Magnus Archines) vs Demetra (Spy Kids 3: GAME OVER)

Alie (The 100) vs Lil' Hal (Homestuck)

As always, thank you for bearing with me during this long and arduous process. Sorry for the hassle, and be prepared, as it is almost upon us.

[a-mason]

[ooc: brainrot but modern au a-mason would absolutely have some small little keychain of toro inoue as a charm one of his guns. he'd call it his little buddy. he'd probably also run linux on his pcs, because you can automate everything on linux - he'd be able to code a simple program to compile intel for him so he can spend more time with his cat because fuck the real world / other people, that's stressful]

[infinitethree]

Daz, Lucid, Day, and Lee are all sitting together in Lucid’s cabin.

It’s the easiest place for them to meet for this– Daz’s house comes with blackstone exposure, Day’s entire area is basically guaranteed to have interruptions, and everywhere else they have control over poses other challenges.

Sure, the cats are a bit of an annoyance, but that’s solved by releasing a chicken into the zoomies track.

Lucid had not been happy to learn that that little prank started with Daz.

“--no, if you do that, the stasis state will be triggered while Innit sleeps,” said admin huffs, like that’s obvious.

Day argues, “If the trigger is linked to–” “It’s an entire extra fucking headache, because the line is thin. The trigger needs to be respawn. An extra failsafe can be made for niche circumstances, but also, that can literally be as simple as a buddy system! Innit or I have to check in regularly, to make sure neither of us are in a fuckin’ coma.”

Daz rolls his eyes. “Given I’ll literally be married, it’s the easiest solution.”

Lucid frowns. “Okay, but when does that even happen?” “Relatively soon,” Daz answers, shrugging. The ascended admin sounds doubtful as he sighs, “Define relatively.”

Uhg, Prime forbid he be allowed to keep some mystique. “A year or so, max. Even before then, Aster is like– literally spending nights with me.”

There’s a little snort from Day. “I heard about that. Theo looked ready to get into my cooking wine.” “Given he watched Aster flirting with me– which he did to be an asshole–” “No, I’m pretty sure he was doing it because you started it?” “Fuck off, he was doing it to be a dick.”

Lucid looks lost. “When was–”

He cuts himself off, looking increasingly confused as he must be shown that night at the training hall. That’s pretty much a given with this sort of conversation, and why Daz doesn’t talk about things he doesn’t want Lucid to know where San can see.

“Magic burns?!”

That’s what he’s gonna focus on?

Daz makes a face. “Yeah? I was hammered with a shitload of potions in a very short timeframe. Splash potions can soak into fabric if enough are used. They taste awful, by the way! Even worse than normal poison.”

As he makes sarcastic jazz hands, Lee states, “He had your code open, ready to do whatever it took to yank you back from Death’s embrace.”

Bitterly, Daz replies, “Then he fucked it up by subjecting me to infinitely worse. Even if– if, he thought it would protect me…”

An ugly laugh echoing with years of a wound left to fester and rot escapes the hollow cavern of his chest. “The fact that I screamed from every order should have made him rethink it.”

“...Not that anything excuses it,” Lucid starts, slowly, though flinches at Daz’s glare, “but– soul erosion…it wears away your common sense. Your ability to– to think, to be rational. To empathize, I suspect.”

Sneering, Daz tells him, “No fuckin’ shit. We planned to do Doomsday, and he was going to slaughter the entire server. You drove a guy to the brink of suicide, among other things.”

Flatly, Lee reminds him, “Your views on suicide are uniquely fucked up, don’t throw that out so lightly.” Definitely an effort to defend his dad’s feelings, Lee doesn’t care about Lucid that much. Probably.

“I don’t appreciate apologism for the single fuckin’ worst–” “It’s not apologism. I hate him too– I’m glad you killed him! Just because it explains why doesn’t mean what he did was right. I still have nightmares about– shit, Daz, I thought your fake backstory was ugly enough. The real thing is worse,” Lucid states, tone grim.

He looked ready to pass out. Day was leaning more towards hurling.

Because he’s that kind of person, Daz laughs. “You just about passed out, and Day was two seconds from puking. Honestly? Kind of cathartic.”

“Still wanted to kill us, though,” Day notes.

He shrugs again. “Can you really blame me?” 

The immortal grimaces.“...Not really. My own betrayals were bad enough, but that…”

It takes him a moment to recall the conversation they had…it feels like a lifetime ago, but it wasn’t actually that far in the past.

There are a lot of ways an admin can feel betrayed, but the one he’s interested in a very specific kind of action.

Evidently, they’re taking a bit of a break, so he stretches out and asks, “So, not to be too nosy, but– I’m curious. The fuck happened with that tattoo that got covered up?”

He nods to Lucid, who seems confused. “He’s not on too shitty terms with them, after all. What was the difference?”

When Day doesn’t immediately answer, he points out, “You know my trauma, shouldn’t turnabout be fair play?”

The immortal sighs, long and tired. “...When I was at spawn, at the very end. Styll was there, with Time– with the Scribe, I guess– speaking through him. It was raining. Smoke saw us. In a flash of thunder, I saw his arm.”

Ah. Daz is familiar with the tattoo on Sapnap Prime’s arm. He hadn’t given it too much thought, but knowing that that was Day and Lucid’s claim on him…

“Headband and goggles. Those were what my Dream used. One was thrown back at him for refusing to reject me,” he tells them. Might as well give him that.

Lee murmurs, “You wove the ribbon to mend the gaping wound his loss left.” “I did,” Daz confirms.

There’s a long, pregnant pause. His student stares at him. “...That’s why you don’t consider anything you’ve given so far to be real claims, isn’t it? You didn’t make them. At best, you designed them.”

He reaches out and taps the brooch on Lee’s shirt. “Yep. Otherwise, you’d be claimed already.”

Lee looks down at it, brow furrowing. “...You designed this?”

It’s kind of nice to be able to tell him that. He answers, “More or less. The ear cuffs were my idea, too.”

Unexpectedly, Lee surges forward. “Show me the one you have!” “I– what? You can see it–” “No, no, not that one,” Lee huffs at him, “The real one!”

He blinks several times, and then breaks into laughter.

“Real one?” The question from Day makes Lee huff. “Daz was the whole reason the Swords and Shields exist! The cuffs were his idea, so–”

The child points to the one he’s currently wearing. “Do you really think he’d have such a new one? I don’t even need vibes to know that much!”

Daz uses his console to remotely open his ender chest, into the contents of a shulker box, and withdraws the little box he keeps the cuff in.

He flips it open, showing it to Lee. “Satisfied?” “What number is it?” “First shield, second overall. Aster’s is the very first, obviously. Aleph and Khons have three and four. Raine has five– though, obviously, he wears a newer one like me. There’s a sixth, but it’s not used. We kept a sword and a shield in reserve for whoever wound up being our fifth.”

He traces the shape of the charm. “Those first six were the prototypes. After that, a mould was made. So…we all have ones that were hand-forged– the only ones like that. I felt like that carried too much meaning to pass up.”

Taking off the one he usually wears, he places them side by side. “See? You can tell elements shifted and were refined.”

They all stare at it.

Quietly, Day murmurs, “Every time I think I’ve wrapped my head around how insane you are…you reveal something new.” “And you’re aware all over again why Aster couldn’t rat me out, hmm?” “Yeah. Even if we have disagreements on some things…”

Day sighs, wings rustling a little. “I mean– I question the amount of it that’s for Lee, versus that just being an excuse to not deal with your shit.” “Definitely not zero,” Lee mutters.

I wish it was zero, Innit grumbles.

“Yeah, yeah, you still resent the literal child, get over yourself,” Daz scoffs.

I think I’ve earned my resentment. “I think you should stop being a fuckin’ pussy and hate the right person, actually!” You wildly underestimate how much I hate you, too. “Oh, trust me, I know you hate me.”

Bitch. “Fuck you right back.” I’m going to kill you at least once. “Good fuckin’ luck, you’ll have to get used to walking before you can come for my throat!” Watch your Prime-damned back, asshole. “Likewise. Good luck explaining why you stabbed me to the rest of the server,” Daz sneers.

“That’s still really concerning,” Lucid says, grimacing. “Don’t like you fighting your admin half.”

“Don’t like our pow-wow being observed, but there’s nothing to be done about either,” Daz retorts.

Day grimaces. “Why didn’t you say something?” “Why bother? They come and go as they please. Recently they don’t even say anything, so–”

Of course he has to be proven wrong.

Annoyed, he says, “I just know pity when I see it. Sometimes niceness is pity, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes concern is pity, sometimes it’s not.”

Day leans forward. “How do you know?”

Rolling his eyes, he says, “Because I know how to read everyone. You’re an extremely shitty liar, for the record.”

“Excuse me?” “You struggle to maintain the correct expression and your eyes are a dead giveaway anyway.”

The immortal looks offended, but Daz flips his false persona on. “Plus, like– you totally don’t modulate your tone or phrasing! I’m still kinda shocked nobody clocked your whole like, deal, even before you were forced to tell everyone!”

Day’s eyes thin. “Don’t think I’m not aware what you’re trying to do.” “Gosh, you make it sound like I’m doing something sinister!”

Keeping his tone bubbly, he makes his expression a tonally dissonant, teeth-baring threat display masquerading as a grin.

“Maybe you shouldn’t, like, poke a volatile person when they’re already on edge! It’s kinda like– a super obvious thing, you know? Sorta just common sense!”

Day levels him with a look. “Your caustic personality and violently cynical worldview do wonders to explain why you avoid letting people close, but try to remember that I’m not your enemy. I can be, if you really want. You sure you want that?” 

He reverses his acting; sneering tone, saccharine mask. “You sure you want to threaten me, DayDream? ‘Cause I guarantee you won’t win a war of attrition. My methods are outside your expertise. Can’t fuckin’ hit me to end it, you’d have to fight socially.”

Daz laughs, blatantly mocking. “And, gosh, I wonder who has better connections, better friendships– better ability to persuade, rather than intimidate?”

Lee physically gets between them. “Daz, knock it off. Dad…try not to let him get under your skin.”

“Hah,” Daz scoffs, flipping his masks off. Face and voice normal, he mutters, “As if anyone, especially him, can manage that.”

Day glares at him, wings poofed up in anger.

Good. He hates when people try to dig into his head, and even more when they try to threaten him.

Unlike most people on the server, he’s not afraid of DayDream. Wary, sure, but scared?

Fuck no. The man would be easy to take down in whatever ways Daz saw fit to do so. Sure, there would be consequences, but he’s still capable of that.

Lucid, who has tried to stay out of a pissing contest between the two people he least wants to upset on the whole damn server, jumps at the answer to a question he had asked several nights ago.

Yeah, you know what, that’s probably a good enough distraction from that whole…ordeal.

“Innit, Vio, and me are your favorites? That’s…huh. I guess I’m only more interested in meeting Innit, then,” Lucid says, loudly enough to ensure the others don’t have a choice but to catch it.

Daz makes a face. “That one– fuckin’ Asher?” “You know their name?” “Yes. Innit told me,” Daz huffs.

There’s a pause, and then he rolls his eyes. “Because Aster asked, yes, I’m aware you’re simping for him.” Another pause. “Then what the fuck am I supposed to call it, huh? You whine when I say anything negative.”

Daz glares at a wall. “Don’t twist my fuckin’ words. Just because we get married doesn’t mean I have to be nice.”

“Generally, people like their spouses,” Day mutters, earning a middle finger but no further reaction.

Daz scoffs, “This is still an upgrade, remember? He’s damn near crying tears of joy because I make his fuckin’ food.” “You’re cooking for Aster?!”

Ignoring Lee’s outburst, Daz rolls his eyes. “Why are you such a petty bitch?”

The guy’s expression darkens, seeming almost…guilty.

For once, Lucid wishes he could peek inside his head to know what could get under his skin like that.

…Then again, knowing what he already knows…it’s probably something nasty enough to fuck his sleep up even more.

Nevermind, then.

Quietly, Daz murmurs, “...Let’s get back to work, then. I want you out of my head almost as much as you want to be out.”

Yeah, whatever is going on in there is definitely not something he wants to be privy to.