#cause i felt that so deep my my core hahahaha

[argeriant18]

So . . . weird realization today. ME AND GEORGE HARRISON'S BRAINWASHED ALBUM TURN 20 TODAY

[coffeecomicsgalore]

Unveiled Love

@smutember

Ao3

Chapter 20 – Adrenaline Rush

The akuma was another love battle akuma; exactly what the duo needed at the moment.

“Fuuuuuuuuuck.” Ladybug drawled out and Chat looked over at her incredulously. She let out another burp, and made a face at how gross it tasted. 

Chat would always love his lady, no matter how gross or odd she was, but seeing her like this, especially during a battle, only made him watch her every move with worry.

She squinted her eyes and watched at what the villain was doing, seeing if there was any clear indication of where the akuma could be hiding.

“Dammit. Now I need to go down there.” Ladybug grumbled and Chat placed a hand on her shoulder.

“No. I’ll go down there. You stay here while I taunt him.”

Ladybug let out a huff and crossed her arms, watching her husky cat catapult his way down to the akuma’s level.

“Lovely seeing you here.” Chat began, the akuma glaring at him with poison in his eyes. “You know, a way to a lover’s heart is not by his screams or beams, but by his words!”

“Shut up you stupid cat.” The villain spit back. “You know nothing of love. You’re nothing but a stray alley cat trying to play with his food.”

“Oof. That hurt.” Chat said, placing a hand on his chest in feigned hurt. “I would never put my hands on more than one person.”

The akuma chuckled out in a high pitched laugh. “Ha! We all see how in love you are with Ladybug, then you go after a new superhero? If that doesn’t sound like a tom cat, I don’t know what does.”

Chat eyed the akuma up and down as he tried to find another distraction. In the distance, he could hear Ladybug throw out her yo-yo, no doubt impatient about waiting to come down and help him. She was the one who always made the plans.

The moment Chat looked up to see where she was was the moment the akuma decided to attack. His blaster hit Chat right in the chest, and Chat turned to look at the akuma with shock written across his features. Ladybug got down to the ground and covered her mouth with her hands, the feeling of guilt ricocheting off her heart and into every crevice of her body. 

“Chat!” Ladybug called out, anger brimmed in her voice as she mentally scolded herself for her actions. 

“Hahahaha!” The akuma’s boisterous laugh filled the street. 

Ladybug stared at her partner, waiting to see what would happen now that he was hit. The beginning of a headache started to form, and was only gaining strength as the akuma continued to laugh. She refused to remove her eyes from her partner’s form, waiting for the inevitable. Every so often, she would look back at the akuma, ensuring her own safety now that they were probably down one hero. 

At first, Chat felt nothing out of the ordinary. He was ready to go back into battle, and he did so by crouching down and into position with the baton in his hand. Suddenly, Chat felt a rush of lust run through him, his eyes closing as he could feel the arousal building within him. He turned to the akuma and smirked at him, before turning to Ladybug and doing the same. 

Ladybug noticed Chat’s eyes grow increasingly dark, his smirk screaming something mischievous. His body language had changed, too. He seemed more aroused as he looked at her., like the gaze he was giving her was seductive in nature. 

Chat sauntered up to Ladybug and slid the back of his hand down her cheek, his fingertips lingering for a couple of seconds longer as he made his way around her body. Ladybug’s eyes closed at the contact, the familiar feeling of arousal building within her as she noticed his demeanor.

“Fuck, Ladybug. You look delicious.” Chat purred out, causing her to shiver in his grasp.

Ladybug head lolled back for a brief moment, the alcohol’s inhibiting effects making her forget what she needed to do. Her eyes widened as her duty to protect Paris finally edged its way to the front of her mind, and she easily whisked herself away from him to get a plan into action

Ladybug hid up near a chimney, surveying the ground. The akuma was zapping people left and right, making them lust over who they love most. Her stomach rolled when she watched a couple get zapped, then the woman removed her hand from the man’s grasp, leaving her to run to, presumably, someone else. The poor man that was left behind tried to run after her, saying things like, “I want you. Please want me too!” as he continued his trek.

The faint sounds of tapping shoes could be heard behind her, and Ladybug turned around to notice Chat licking his lips before biting the bottom one, letting out a sultry moan in her direction. The sound he made only made her quiver with anxiousness, the feeling of arousal and lust hitting her from all sides.

She wanted him. She wanted to jump his bones. She had been wanting to all day. But once she saw the news about Chat Noir and Multimouse, all sense of anything flew out the window with drinking as the only plausible resolution. Now with the alcohol coursing through her body, Chat’s sensual glare, his delicious body that looked incredibly amazing in the black leather - which now she noticed, housed a very prominent erection that she wished she could lavish - there was no way that she could say no to him.

I’m never drinking alcohol again, she muttered, finally recognizing  that she needed to move before things go too far.

Ladybug whipped her yo-yo at Chat, knocking him in the head, and he groaned as he rubbed the sore spot. She whipped it back, then repelled down the building, searching the ground for any signs of the akuma. 

When he was spotted, Ladybug called upon her lucky charm, receiving a deflated balloon to solve. Looking around to gather her thoughts, she noticed Chat crouching down on all fours, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce.

Ladybug slipped away before he could, leaving Chat to land in a dumpster behind her.

“Sorry, kitty.” She said, looking back as she ran towards the victim. 

Blowing up the balloon to get it to stretch, she ran into his space and opened up the neck of the balloon, engulfing the blaster with the latex.

She ran a little further, then broke the object causing the purple butterfly to fly out, and Ladybug captured it to purify it. She threw the lucky charm into the air, and restoring the city to its former glory.

Chat Noir came up from behind her and rubbed his head, looking a bit embarrassed at being pawned. Ladybug placed a comforting hand on his shoulder before looking over the victim. After they said their goodbyes, TVi reporters walked up to them to ask them questions about the newest superhero and the rumored love triangle that this has now created, causing Ladybug to go from okay to back to angry again.

“No comment.” She huffed out, angrily, and zipped her way out of the crowd. Chat rubbed his neck with his claws, before saying the same thing, vaulting himself out of view with his baton.

“Ladybug!” Chat called out as she jumped over to the next building. “Get over here.”

“No!” She called out, still bitter from the earlier incident. She wanted to go home and drink some more, betting that another akuma wouldn’t come back tonight. She would figure out how to handle this issue tomorrow, but today she just wanted to drink to forget.

That was until she could still feel the heat of arousal between her thighs. Chat jumped up behind her and Ladybug turned to look at him. She wanted to be angry, but her libido was taking over any rationality in her mind. 

“Milady. Wait-” Chat grabbed her hand to get her to stop, but all it did was cause any lingering rationale to fall. Ladybug turned and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down as she crashed her lips against his. At first, Chat wanted to remove himself from her hold, but he melted into her kiss, chasing her tongue with his.

As if the moment their tongues touched sent fire to their bodies, Chat picked her up and wrapped her legs around his waist and leaned her against the chimney that was away from view. 

The kisses became intense and heated to a point where clothes were extremely uncomfortable, and the feeling of his bulge pressing against her core elicited a moan from her lips. Chat scratched off the crotch of her suit, not even waiting to get home to ravish her properly. He did the same to his own suit, and mentally decided it was probably best to give Plagg and Tikki an array of special treats at this point for all repairs they have had to endure.

“Fuck. LB.” Chat cried out as he found the entrance to her pussy with the tip of his cock. 

“Chat…”Ladybug moaned out, gasping as she felt his hard cock fill her completely. 

Ladybug didn’t have time to get used to the feeling of him being inside her, as he began to thrust as quickly as he could. It was as if they were running out of time and needed to end this before all hell broke loose.

Ladybug grasped onto his collar with one hand, using his bell as leverage with the other, as he rhythmically thrusted into her warm pussy. Chat nuzzled his nose into her neck, smelling her delicious scent on her exposed skin. He placed pecks of kisses along her neck line, and Ladybug could only moan as she lolled her head back at the sensation.

She ran her hand through his hair, tugging on the blonde locks as their lips crashed against each other in haste. Fumbling and moaning through locked lips, Chat thrusted faster and more erratically as the coil began the turn deep within him. He gripped her ass, massaging the tender muscles with his fingertips, and Ladybug moaned again into his mouth.

She removed one hand from his hair and ran it over her collarbone, reaching her breast and caressing the mound. She found her way to her nipple, rubbing the nub through her suit until it was pert. She pinched and pulled on the nub, swirling the thumb around the peak as he continued to thrust. She then brought her hand down to her clit, running her thumb over the sensitive nub giving her an additional friction that she so desperately needed.

Chat could feel that she was becoming increasingly aroused. She began to ride his dick as he rocked his own hips against hers, skin and balls crashing against each other as the sweaty mess of limbs became tangled tightly.

He moaned as his hips moved erratically, and Ladybug crashed her lips against his once more as she reached the peak of her climax. He shoved his tongue into her mouth as he thrust harder and faster, tilting her hips in the right position so his tip could brush against the bundle of nerves within her.

Ladybug cried out as she fell over the edge, and Chat felt her core clench around his cock. He followed suit, feeling the hot cum sputter into her pussy as she came down from her high. He slowly thrusted until he was completely spent, then dropped his head onto his shoulders as they relaxed their frantic breathing.

“So- good-” Ladybug stated, placing her forehead carefully against his temple. He looked up at her and shot her a satisfied smile, then tilted his head to capture her lips in a sweet kiss. Once they let go, Chat dropped her down to the rooftop, and they both laughed at the status of their suits. Detransforming and feeding their kwamis, Adrien gave her a play-by-play of what would happen once they returned home..

“Tonight. I’m going to give you a bath. No talking about this dilemma, no talking about our civilian dilemma either. I’m going to wash you up completely, feed you pizza… and water…” he added with a glare, “and then we are going to cuddle on the couch until we fall asleep. We will do damage control tomorrow.”

Marinette looked as if she wanted to say something, but instead nodded with a slight frown. Deep down inside, she was thankful for the idea. She needed time to just decompress, and after the way the akuma battle went, she didn’t want to drink anymore tonight anyways.

“Lead the way Chaton. That sounds like a lovely idea.”

---

“Well…” Hawkmouth announced as his transformation fell. “It seems like Ladybug has a bit of competition against this mouse. I mustn't let this information slip away.”

Gabriel crossed his arms behind his back as a plan formulated in his mind. “Yes. Your love will fall, Ladybug and Chat Noir. And I will get your miraculous. Even if it’s the last thing I do.”

[ladypyb]

Snowballing Into The Heart

Rating: T (for a little bit of cursing)

Relationship/s: USUK, Brotherly AmeCan

Tags: hetaliaxmasevent, Cardverse, Meet-Cute (First Meetings), and a lot of snow XDD

Day 4 of HetaliaXmasEvent: Snowball fight | Skiing | Christmas without snow

|ao3|

(Ooohh man, it’s past midnight in my place. XDD I hope you enjoy it!!!)

In hindsight, Matthew shouldn't have gone to fetch a towel and leave him, the Prince of Spades, bored and alone near the Mages' Tower. He should have just called a servant.

Time passed onwards, as usual, its pace made Alfred wonder if they have the capability to change it. How curious it made him. And how desperate he was to hurry for the warmer days.

The prince liked winter. He didn't hate it. He didn't like like it, either. This was when the power of their kingdom had significant growth, after all. But Alfred didn't love the long cold nights in the season. He didn't outright adore the fact that he had to wear multiple, thick woolen jackets and heat-producing amulets that hinder his movement and stealth. Not to mention the tales about the cold season his mother told him in his childhood. Bad things happen to everyone in winter. Terribly bad things. Brrr!

He liked the powdery snow, though. Its color and often ethereal shine made the scenery look so pure. The dusting they made on the landscapes made him grin and jump into the freezing powder.

It itched him to jump in right now. Anything to go distract himself while Matthew began narrating to him the activities he had for the day. Often, he found his brother's tone monotonous when in duty. No, definitely not 'often' but 'always'. Yes, that's the right word.

"Remember not to touch anything, you might get a curse for even holding a pen that isn't yours. Don't stray away from the floating white lamps and proceed to the violets, the Head Mage told me the young fae tend to use play-magic there. Mother would kill both of us if you tried to pick a fight with one of the mages-"

Bla Bla Bla. The prince slumped against the cold brick of the wall, crossing his arms. What was the point of visiting the Magicians' Wing if they weren't even allowed to enter their laboratories? What was the goal of even doing biannual safety procedures with Alfred, the future King of Spades, if he wasn't the one doing the procedures?

In his head, his mother would definitely reply to him in her babytalk: "Aw, sugarplum, you are only needed to show your face and let the mages do the rest of the checking. It's theirs, after all. You wouldn't want to ruin their threshold and be painted as the villain, would you?"

... Yeah... Listening to Matthew's nagging would be better than their mother's overly-sweet babytalk. Both were sadistic in their own way but his brother's words were blunt, unlike the queen's underlying threats.

"-To stop... Are you listening to me, Al?"

He groaned in his head. "Yeah, I was." No, he definitely wasn't. "How about this tower?" Alfred gestured to the one behind him but kept his eyes on the soft, beckoning snow at their feet. Hmm... He looked up to his brother so quickly he felt his neck crack a bit. "Can we at least have permission to rest in somewhere warm rather than in their freezing gardens?"  The garden wasn't biting in the least. He wore a heating amulet and multiple coats, Alfred was warm to the core and sweating inside his personal sauna.

Distract him, distract him, distract him. Alfred recited like a mantra in his head as he slowly crouched down to the soft ground, his eyes on his brother. As Matthew blinked at the tower's structure, the prince started to fist a ball of snow in his leather gloves.

Matthew studied the tower, contemplating. It was smaller than the other buildings on the property. The tower must be a storage room. The lights shining behind the elaborately framed windows stated otherwise, though.

"I don't know, Al. There might be someone important residing in the- Oomph!"

Something wooshed in the air! A cold and soft object hit the side of his jaw. Matthew paused and stared at the sitting and grinning person in front that was his brother. A snowball. Alfred hit him with a snowball. The prince guffawed heartily at his brother's expression of Thou-hast-betrayed-me-brother. Matthew's wide eyes turned into slits. This unbelievably childish tool-

Matthew bent low, scooped a handful of snow and-

"Hahahaha- Fwah!"

Bullseye into Alfred's mouth. Matthew smirked when the other began 'blech!'-ing and 'pswooh!'-ing out the melting snow out of his mouth. Heh, you aren't the only one who can throw snowballs, Alfred!

The blue-eyed prince stared at the violet-eyed ace with a sly look in his face. "You're on!"

Alfred scrambled onto the ground, embracing and creating a mound out of snow. He cupped a fistful and rotated it in his hands. He glanced back at his brother, crap, he's on his third ball! The prince started to quickly fist and cup the snow. The mound in front of him waned to his fear of losing.

No time! Alfred sprang to his feet and threw a snowball at his brother. On the face! Grunting, Matthew frowned and fired back at him. The prince dodged to the side as it almost hit his prized family jewels down below. Matthew cackled. Oh, man, this was war. A man doesn't aim for another guy's most sensitive area!

Then came the onslaught of the balls of snow. Missed and badly-aimed snowballs hit the walls, the hall near the entrance, and the plants carefully maintained in the garden. Bushes cracked and broke to the strength of their blows.

Passing servants and apprentices of mages paid them no mind as they passed by. It was no secret that both men in the royal family often behaved like children when they thought no one was looking. A few frowned at their display when they hit a third party, these occurrences were followed by a distracted 'Sorry!'.

Their roughhousing with the snow ended with a grand snowball from the prince to his brother on the stomach, sending poor Matthew falling on his back. Alfred fell to his knees, a goofy smile on his face in his triumph. He fell forward in exhaustion. Afterward, he moved to his side, panting.

Matthew managed to only hit him on his jaw and legs. Alfred hit him everywhere on his body with the help of his overzealous need to win every challenge and interest that crosses his path.

Matthew shuffled to stand, the other raised a brow at him, disbelieving. Alfred gave it all he had, ended up on the ground last and Matthew still stood up? What gives? He whined.

"Oh, don't be a baby. Stand up, you'll catch a cold." Matthew held his hand out to his brother which Alfred accepted. "Ugh," Matthew brushed off his clothes with his free hand, "I'm dripping. I'll never doubt these amulets, again."

Alfred flailed his arms like a dog, droplets flung everywhere. "Looks like it. Let's go ask for towels."

The older and logical of the two watched the other suspiciously. "No. You'll most likely slip away somewhere and get lost- "

"Impossible! I don't get lost."

"-Or cause some mischief on the way." Matthew crossed his arms, firm.

Alfred wiped his brow. "So are both just going to stand here? Baiting the cold and die of pneumonia?"

The ace pursed his lips. He clicked his tongue. "Fine," Alfred cheers at this, " But I'll fetch the towels. You," he gestured at Alfred, "Stay here."

The other pouted and kicked the accumulating snow below. Matthew enters into the open doors of the hallway. "Aww c'mon, Matt!"

"Don't. Go. Anywhere." The ace commanded as he eyed Alfred and continued down the hall.

Alfred clicked his tongue childishly. So what if he'd stray away from the directions sometimes, it wasn't like he'd easily die! The blessings from their clocks prevented that.

... He did oftentimes find himself suffering from a curse or two, managed to almost get assassinated, have been on the verge of death more than five times, and have been poisoned while eating street food. But Alfred survived!

He could almost hear Yao, the Jack, mumble beside his mother while tending his wounds or whatever harm he was inflicted, "With the amount of curiosity, and stubbornness you are born with, I could only pray to the Maker your rule would be as peaceful as it can be."

Alfred sighed, looking up he traced the flying bird overhead. The feathered animal circled the garden and perched atop a small roof of a window sill of the tower. He wished he was as free as the bird, free to go anywhere and able to do what he pleased.

He observed the little bird, bright orange stomach- A robin! How strange, robin birds weren't native to Spades, especially in one of Spades' northern areas. Alfred moved to spy under the windowsill, it was a few feet above his head but nothing could stop him.

When he craned his neck to observe the bird, he noticed a messy mop of golden hair near the windowpane. Someone was there- Oh Blessed Time!

Alfred ducked and made himself be one with the wall behind him. The windows opened with a clank! and the snow sprinkled on the prince's nose. His nostrils tickled. Ah- He wants to sneeze! Alfred pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth.

"-Damned pests. No wonder the potion did nothing! I should have known they'd place it in the wrong flask."

An accented voice of a man. It was so light and deep at the same time, it made Alfred wonder if the man swallowed a piccolo and a bass at the same time.

Light thumps and a resonating clink. "... What in the name of Time happened here?" The mystery man groaned. "Those freshmen! I can't believe- My roses!" The man stomped away from the window. The sound of heavy steps receded with a bang from a door.

The prince released a breath he was holding. That was so close. If the guy looked down, he'd see Alfred's nose and furred boots. He moved away from the wall. Finally able to ogle freely, he found two open flasks filled with mysterious liquids. One was changing colors rapidly while the other alternated between gold and silver.

The robin from before chirped and fluttered its wings. Oh no. Don't tell him the bird wants to- It glided down unto the windowsill with the two very open and unmistakably dangerous flasks.

"Oh, damn it!"

Alfred scrambled and raised his foot on the side of the brick wall. His gloved hands gripped the windowsill noisily, the robin squawked at him. The prince grunted as he set his elbows down near the flasks, he faced the bird's screeching. He shooed the orange robin with a dismissive hand.

It flapped its wings and nearly bit off his ears as it flew away from him and the flasks. He liked birds but he didn't like them mutated or dead.

Alfred banged his head and resisted to groan at the ridiculousness of his situation. His top half was rested atop a mage's windowsill in an effort to avoid an unwanted experiment. He didn't even know exactly why he ducked to be seen by one mage when didn't even bother to care for his image while playing in the snow with his brother.

He shifted an annoyed glance to the strange fluids. With their swirling and changing of colors, he thinks of them to be potions. They certainly resembled like potions. He sniffed at both of their opening; butter, lilies, and peach. Yep, definitely potions. There was no way liquids could change colors with just these ingredients.

"Hey! You there!" The same accented voice shouted below him. "What are you doing?"

There was disapproval in the voice. Alfred seemed reluctant to look at the man scolding him. He has had enough of it today! Alfred prevented a bird from destroying your potions. The prince turned his head to glare at the man, a scowl on his face.

Eh? His scorned expression dissipated into a daze.

Bright green eyes that were the shade of grass in summer framed by spun gold locks stood out from the man's white robe and soft snowy landscape. The guy had half of his face overrun with caterpillars- Wait, no. He just had large eyebrows. Surprisingly, it made the other look distinguished.

This guy must be the mage! The mage furrowed his brows and growled something Alfred couldn't hear. He raised his brow in confusion and held unto the sill with only an arm as the handsome man gestured his arm aimlessly... at Alfred?

What was he- Whack! Alfred's hold on the windowsill slipped.

"Aaaaaa- oof!" He crashed down on his back. Groaning, he placed his hand on his chest. Fragments of a snowball began melting to the power of the amulet under his coat. The dull pain that throbbed in his chest was nothing to the sharpness of blow to the side of his head. Did he hit his head when he fell...?

The mage's face swam into his blurry view. The expression of the mage full of concern was badly hidden through the annoyed curve of his lips. Alfred decided the guy was adorably handsome.

"... Are... kay... ?"

"Hn."

The green-eyed beauty touched his cheek. The prince moved into the chilled fingers. Aaah. He felt hot and cold at the same time.

"Hold... I... get...  elp."

The angel's face blurred. Huh, did... Did Alfred lose his glasses when he fell?

He tried to focus on the other's fretting on him. Alfred's eyes closed, losing its strength to even move an eyelid. Darkness swallowed him and his consciousness.

Hm. It seems the Cupid from Hearts shot him in the chest with a snowball, instead of an arrow.

//end

[itschimmychimchims]

Etched Pt. 1

♡ jimin x reader

♡ smut, mafia!au

♡ pretty hardcore smut, also a little fluffy, oral, dirty talk, some violence and mentions of blood later on, hickeys, but honestly I’m going to make it a relatively soft fic in the end so...

♡ Hello ARMY! I’m pretty new here and I was contemplating putting this out somewhere and I really do love tumblr and all the fics and nice posts about bts here! Hope ya’ll enjoy this one! Supposedly a one-shot but I developed a storyline for it somehow HAHAHAHA (—:

—

What happens when you wake up in an unfamiliar room, faced with one of the most dangerous yet beautiful men you’ve ever seen in your life? Park Jimin from the rival White Mist Clan - and now your father has refused to pay your ransom.

—

| Part 1 (M) | Part 2 (M) | Part 3 (M) | Part 4 | Part 5 (M) | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 (M) | Part 9 (M) | Part 10 |

I awoke in an uncomfortable pain in my ankles and my wrists, blinking rapidly as my consciousness returned slowly. My neck was sore and it was humid with a faint scent of chloroform. I tried to move around but I was secured to what seemed like a chair in my hazy memory. As I grew more awake, I stared at my surroundings and panic started to creep in as I took in everything. Dark grey walls, black wood panelling, a single mattress behind me and I was restrained to a hard wooden chair. A large oak door was in front of me, no other exits, no windows, nothing. This wasn’t my house. Strangely enough though, I wasn’t gagged or muffled.

I knew my dad was caught up in something bad again. I had my suspicions of him being in the mafia many times but he merely brushed me off. Telltale signs - shady men coming to our house at odd hours, him getting me out of the country abruptly at times and flying me back home only weeks later, and him never letting me know what happened to my mother. Though this time, maybe he didn’t get to fly me out quick enough.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps nearing the door from the outside. I stiffened and looked around frantically to look for a way to get untied. The locks on the other side, multiple I heard, clicked open and I slumped back in an effort to conceal my awoken state.

“She’s still asleep, Boss.” A gruff tone said. I heard a small deep chuckle from behind the gruff-sounding man.

“Really.” The man who chuckled had a voice that could only be said to resemble honey. It wasn’t a low voice, but it dripped with sweetness and a hint of malice. It intrigued me slightly, even in the situation I was in.

“Maybe we gave her too much of the drug.”

“You can leave now, Yoongi.” The man said, and I could tell he was smiling a little. I tried very hard to keep my breathing steady to not cause any suspicion I was actually awake. Maybe he had a knife or something sharp on him so I could cut myself loose once I knocked him out somehow. I needed to escape and find my dad.

“Princess, I know you’re awake.” He said in a lilting tone. “I know my drugs.” I resisted the urge to stiffen at his words.

“We can play like this all day, baby.” He said again with that smiling arrogant tone. “But I’d rather you be awake for when I have my way with you.” I couldn’t resist my body tensing from that, so I looked up at him, glaring, but I was taken aback. He was gorgeous. His jet black hair fell loosely on his smooth skin that was slightly tanned. He had dark eyes that gave away no emotion and plump lips that curved into a smirk. He was lean and tall, wearing an all black suit.

“Ah, there we go.” He chuckled, pushing his hair out of his face. He knelt down extremely close in front of me, so close that my knees were almost touching his chest.

“Who are you?” I hissed. “Whatever you’re thinking of doing, my dad will get here and kill all of you assholes before you even finish your thoughts.” I pulled against my restraints but they were solid.

“So prickly, just like your father.” The man chuckled again. “My name is Jimin, and I’m from the White Mist Clan.” Even though my dad kept me away from the shady business aspect, I knew about the White Mist Clan. Ran by a young, cruel man that cut down anyone and everyone in his path to success. Park Jimin.

“I take your reaction as you’ve heard of me?” He smiled. His face was a far cry from his reputation, but you knew not to be fooled by looks at this point. This man was dangerous and you could possibly die by his gentle-looking hands.

“What do you want?” I spat.

“Oh no, my dear, I don’t necessarily need anything from you. You’re just my bait because everyone knows Daddy dearest loves you the most. I need something your father took from me a few years back, that’s all.” He said, coming closer. “Unless, you make me want something from you. Or your dad doesn’t want to cooperate with me.”

“Don’t. Threaten. Me.” I growled, tugging hard against my restraints, trying to hit him with my knees.

“Doing that will just hurt a whole lot for you, so I suggest you stop trying.” Jimin said, smirking again. I huffed and stopped moving. Jimin inched closer and his fingers ran across my bare thighs. Mind you, I was literally wearing a robe over my nightgown to sleep, and my robe was missing. I really wish I’d worn something less revealing to sleep. Only joggers from now on, I thought, if there was a from-now-on.

“If daddy doesn’t cooperate, then I’ll have to lose my manners.” Jimin said, almost in a snarl. He really was dangerous. “I don’t know which I want more, really.” He looked at me again with dark eyes, and I knew what he was talking about.

“You can’t-“ I said, panicking. Just then, the man called Yoongi came back looking flustered.

“Boss, he refused.” Ah, shit.

“Ok Yoongi, let him know we have his little princess here with us and he’ll be getting her back only when I’m done with her, or not.” Jimin hissed. Fuck.

Jimin now looked back at me with a slight glint in his eyes as he took out a sharp knife from his back pocket. I swore internally a million times, thinking yeah that was the end, I was definitely going to die here. I flinched away from the blade and shut my eyes tightly, trying to brace for any pain but it never came. Then, I felt the restraints on my ankles come loose.

“What-“ I gasped as Jimin shoved my legs apart. He filled the space with his body and his fingers snaked around my neck.

“Daddy didn’t play by my rules, so I’m throwing all rules off the table now.” He said, planting a small kiss on my neck, making me shudder. He removed his jacket quickly with yet another dangerous look in his eyes. “I’m going to completely ruin his little princess.”

“Please, I’ll do anything you want. Please don’t-“ I cried. Jimin ignored me and I felt his hands creep up my legs.

“Your skin is so soft it’s like touching silk.” Jimin murmured as he placed his plump lips on my inner thigh, giving the tender skin a hard bite. I whimpered, trying to move, but Jimin’s arms had my legs pinned apart. He licked the area he bit and sucked it and I shivered, letting out a small whimper again. I’d have lied if I said it didn’t feel good.

“Fuck.” Jimin swore as his hands moved up to my hips. “You keep making sounds like that I’ll fuck you here on his chair.” I shivered again. His hands bunched up the loose fabric of my nightgown, revealing even more skin that he continuously sucked. Small red marks started to appear, littering my skin.

“Jimin please stop...” I panted, trying to get my head back to earth.

“Sorry, I don’t think I can now.” Jimin said, pulling my panties down my legs slowly and I whimpered again. With my legs spread again, I felt bare.

“Fuck, princess you’re so fucking wet. I’d eat you up right now.” Jimin cursed as he touched my womanhood and I shuddered at his touch. I tried to move away from his mouth getting closer but Jimin held my legs firmly. His tongue had found my folds and I let out a small moan uncontrollably.

“Fuck.” I heard Jimin curse again. “You’re really testing my limits, baby. I really want to take my time but hearing you like that makes me want to fuck you so hard right now.” I whimpered as he sucked just above my clit, purposely denying me the pleasure and I moaned, bucking my hips.

“Fuck it.” Jimin said, getting his knife out again. He let my wrists free and whisked me up into his arms. He set me down on the large mattress just behind and pinned me down, ripping my nightgown in half.

“Be a good girl for me, okay princess?” Jimin’s voice was dangerously inviting and I couldn’t resist the urge and I kissed him. My head was spinning with thoughts but all the ones of me escaping had officially left as I was hungrily kissed. Our lips, teeth and tongues collided as if we were dancing or fighting. I moaned into the kiss as I felt his fingers slip inside my core.

“Fuck I really just want to fuck you right now, you’re so wet.” Jimin cursed, still pumping his fingers. “So wet just for me.” His thumb circled my clit almost methodically, denying my release as I drew close.

“Jimin please...” I let out a breathy moan as he continued to scatter love bites on my neck.

“Please what?” He smirked, turning me around so I back-faced him almost doggy-style. I heard his pants shimmy down.

“I need you inside me, please.” I whimpered.

“I thought you’d never ask, baby,” Jimin said, grabbing my hips. He teased my entrance a few times before slipping his stiff member inside me and I let out a long moan as I felt everything. Little sparks of electricity surged through my veins as he bottomed out deep inside me.

“You are so deliciously tight.” He groaned as he pulled out and pushed back in. Both of us moaned in unison. I could feel his teeth on my back, grazing and biting. His thrusts were fervent and pushed into me deep. I cried out as he continuously pumped into me wildly. My mind at this point was in a swirl of different colours and the last thing I wanted him to do was stop - against my better judgement of course.

“Jimin ah-, ah- fuck, oh god.” I moaned as I was reaching my high.

“Turn around.” Jimin said, stopping his thrusts and pushing me down onto the mattress. “I want you to feel all of me now.” His hands grasped at my neck and hip as he now pushed me into the mattress. My back arched in an attempt to feel him more and I couldn’t stop the moans that filled my throat.

“Shit, you look so good all fucked out for me like that, baby.”

“Jimin, fuck, I’m going to cum-“ I whimpered as my legs shuddered.

“Cum for me baby, I want to see your face as you cum for me. Show me who you belong to now.” Jimin moaned. I arched my back again and my toes curled as pleasure in tsunamis coursed over me. I could hear his grunts as he rode my orgasm out. My walls clenched around him and he pulled out.

“Suck me until I cum, princess. I want to cum in your pretty little mouth.” Jimin growled, pumping his member a few times before I took it in.

“Fuck yes.” He moaned as I filled my mouth with his shaft. I bobbed up and down for a while then sucked hard only at his head. He threw his head back and grabbed the back of mine.

“Keep going princess, i’m going to cum soon.” He said, and his moans kept flowing from him swollen lips. I could feel his member twitch more and more in my mouth and I reached out to play with his balls. That sent him over the edge.

“Fuck fuck fuck-“ he cried as he bucked his hips into my mouth, cumming hard into me. I pumped his member until he stopped.

“It’s ok to spit, I don’t judge.” Jimin said, coming back down from his high. He looked at me with slightly red cheeks and messy hair. Almost as if I’d received a challenge, I swallowed his load whole, licking my lips.

“You’re perfect.” He said softly with a bit of surprise in his tone, bringing me close so that I straddled him. He kissed me almost gently, sucking my bottom lip slowly. His kisses trailed to my neck, probably to plant even more hickeys. I moaned softly as he sucked the skin of my breasts, caressing with them slowly and gently. His fingers felt warm against my skin.

“I want you to look at all these marks and remember that I made them.” He said, arching my neck and running his tongue over the marks languidly. “Mine.” He said the last word so softly I almost couldn’t catch it.

| Part 1 (M) | Part 2 (M) | Part 3 (M) | Part 4 | Part 5 (M) | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 (M) | Part 9 (M) | Part 10 |

[whatrealityisthisagain]

EMDR: Suicidal Thoughts

Let me start this documentation of events off by saying, I had my therapist CRACKING UP today. 

Last week, I let him know - at the end of the session cause I’m sneaky like that - that I’ve been having suicidal thoughts again. 

At the beginning of this session - didn’t even let him start the session - I gave him my over thinking analysis of what I felt was a lot of the reasoning behind my drama at the moment. Long story short, the bloody flood gates of hell are opening next week and I’m PMSing. I’ve also been disasosiating hard core today, and felt that my PMS could also be a huge part of that. All of which he agreed with, and then handed me the EMDR tools to work through them. :’D

So the first time I go under, all I see is words, and all the feelings come up associated with them. Deep in the EMDR trance, I realize that 1. I'm competitive as hell; 2. I’m lonely; 3. My sisters are holding onto an old version of me, and not willing to get to know the me that I am now. 

1. Competitive: No one is willing to try to understand how I really am mentally. Instead they constantly ignore me, tell me I'm over reacting, or to just get over it. So naturally, I want to show them how wrong they are. I can't cut them out (even though they can be toxic as hell) because then I’m the bad guy and still over reacting; whereas, dying shows them really just how honest I’m being. Also how I don’t want to live if I have to cut off the people who have always been the most important to me. And that I didn’t win my battle over my fog just to lose my sisters.

2. Loneliness hurts. Even now, I feel that I could call every contact in my phone to find someone to hangout with or talk to for a moment and no one would pick up or have time. It's happened quite a few times before. Yes, I've fought alone forever, but I don't want to anymore. It's not worth it. 

3. I've mentioned this before, but I've done a 180° in my personality. I used to be shy, submissive, and outspoken. I couldn't say no. Ever. I did everything I could not to hurt anyone; physically or emotionally. Not even the people hate. And I changed depending on who I was with. Not just personality wise, but belief wise. I was whoever they wanted me to be. Now I'm not. Now I'm assertive. I'm bold and opinionated. I'm an Omega that protects my loved ones and myself, but will tear someone to pieces without hesitation. I feel as though my sisters are holding onto who I was, and aren't willing to get to know who I've become. 

That's my assumption though, I told my therapist. We *my sisters and I* are all so focused on our own problems that we’re not willing to honor each other's. And EVERYTHING is taken WAY to fucking personally. Anything any of us say can and will be manipulated and twisted into something fucked up and horrible. Because of that, it’s hard as hell to find anything at all to say without starting a raging fire, so I've decided I might as well just say what I mean and get torn apart for saying that. 

I ended that trance by telling my therapist that I very much so over analyze everything. Which he nodded and laughed at.

My next transe I started thinking that it would probably be easier without me, but before I could finish the thought I laughed in my head because I know it wouldn’t be easier just doable. My support team tried to come in, but it wasn’t time for them yet, so I had to shoo them away. 

I felt all this strongly in my chest; in my heart area. It hurt, weighed down, itched like crazy, and felt raved.

Went back in again and only felt, but saw red threads attached to my heart that my sisters were pulling. With each emotion I had or that flowed through me, they pulled harder and it. HURT! Fucking. Bad. But I realized that as they pulled and as the emotions grew, the pain was being pulled up my throat, and would be pulled out through my mouth if it kept going. 

I told this to my therapist, and he got that "we're getting there" twinkle in his eye. 

Went back in and felt loneliness again. How even though I’m surrounded by family again, I can’t ever rely on them. Even when I was going through my absolute WORST situations and would call for help, everyone had something more important to do. Or they just plain out didn’t answer. I didn’t want to fight alone but did.

And it hurts that I still have to.  

That brought to the surface how I’m just so tired of fighting and just want peace from all this shit, and even though we’ve worked on it, it just keeps coming back! I don’t want to keep up with these fights to the point that having suicidal thoughts aren’t scaring me anymore, but relaxing me. THAT’S scary. 

When I told my therapist this, he told me to focus on the peace I was feeling, and bring in my support group members. I couldn’t decide on who, so we decided to let it be a surprise. 

And a surprise it was my friends. It wasn’t even one of my support team members that appeared, but Lo-and-be hold! It was Ganesh. 

My first thought?

“Fuck.”

If you don’t know my Ganesh experience, it’s documented on here somewhere and is really fucking bad ass if I do say so myself. If you DO know my Ganesh experience, let me blow your mind again. 

In the same clearing, next to the same diamond sprinkled spring, Ganesh was sitting at the edge of the spring in all his normal-looking-meduim-sized-elephant glory, and I went to sit next to him. He just smiled at me because he knew that I knew why he was there. To remind me I wasn’t alone, and remind me that I’m strong. Then the rest of my support team and the Universe sat beside me. I felt other presences, but who fucking knows who they were. I’m sure one of them was my Grim Reaper. 

I opened my eyes and told my Therapist that this whole “Support Group” thing wasn’t fair because all they ever do is prove me wrong damnit. And this made him laugh again. Jerk. Who I fucking love because DAMN! That man is Fucking awesome. 

I went in one last time, and everyone was still there. What was the first thing I did this time you ask?

I looked at Ganesh and said “You’re an asshole” which he responded to me by grinning - his smile was slightly terrifying with teeth exposed and the tusks, but oddly cute and adorable too - like the amazing wonderful asshole he is that keeps reminding me that I’m not ever alone. 

The rest of my support team was also still there, because why wouldn’t they be there revel in my period-brain-melt-down-moment to share my humiliation? Just kidding, it was actually all really touching and-you guessed it-mind blowing, and just plain amazingly beautiful! I leaned over against Ganesh’s leg and we all chilled around the pond revelling in support and not being alone.

I hate being wrong, but hate loneliness more hahahaha!

-whatrealityisthisagain

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #162

“in catholic school, vicious as roman rule, i got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black, and i held my tongue as she told me, ‘son, fear is the heart of love,’ so i never went back.”

Has a rainy day ever ruined your plans? I'm guessing at some point. Do you think you could survive a month of solitary confinement? HAHAHAHA NO I'd lose my fucking mind. What is something that you find utterly boring? TV in most cases. It's honestly really difficult for me to get into shows and be consistently entertained by them. What noise/sound can put you to sleep? Rain. When you are upset, do you tend to shut others out? It depends. Sometimes I seek comfort in others, other times I isolate. When was the last time you felt abandoned by someone? Recently. Does the sight of blood gross you out? Nope. Do you like red roses, or do you prefer another color? No preference, really. What is something you like to eat that is red? Strawberries. Have you ever gone through a red light? No. Do you fail to stop for stop signs, sometimes? No. When was the last time you were near the ocean? A couple months ago. What is your favorite eye color in the opposite sex? Bright blue. During which year of your life were you the most unhappy? 2016 was born of Satan himself. Have you ever seen a bluejay in person? Yeah, but now they give me a somewhat uncomfortable vibe, all the while thinking they're beautiful. Jason's nickname was "J Bird" by his father, and I collected feathers when I found them outside. Have you ever consumed a blue-colored drink? Mountain Dew Voltage is actually holy water. Is there anything you recycle, or should recycle? Ugh, we did recycle cans, but don't now.  Mom got tired of going to do it. However, we do keep plastic bags for cleaning up a mess the dogs might make, and I also use it when changing Roman's litter. Do you like leaves better in the summer/spring, or in the fall? Is ANYONE going to answer with other than fall??? What is your favorite aspect of life? Just. Experiencing it, experiencing the emotions, feeling alive and real and valid even with how incredibly fleeting we are in the eternal universe. I really can't stand nihilism. Like make a DIFFERENCE, because enough of those change the world. When was the last time you were purposely amongst nature? Not since going out on that walk like... forever ago. I can't do this heat, but here, I don't really. Have anywhere to go. What do you think of global warming & the greenhouse effect? If you don't believe in them, honestly, just don't talk to me. Do you typically like green-colored candies? Yessss, apple-flavored. <3 Who is the most energetic and happy person you know of? Hmmm, that I personally know? I'm not sure. Who makes you smile the most often? Sara and Mark can do it at a snap of the finger. Magicians. How do you express your happiness? I become very vocally affectionate and obsessively express love for others, care more than ever at cheering others up, and I smile, laugh, and talk more. Has someone helped you out in a big way, recently? I don't know about /big/ way recently. Do you like to sing? I think I'm starting to??? I don't like my voice, but. It feels good to do. Where is somewhere that holds fond memories for you? This fishing spot deep in the woods that Dad and I would go to a lot to catch mostly striper. I loved that it was in the core of nature. Sometimes I would just stop fishing to explore. Do you like to watch the setting/rising sun? Always when I get the opportunity. Do you know of anyone who is going down the wrong track? Shit, most people I know. Most people I was friends with. Have you ever encountered a black widow? I believe so? Pretty positive at least once. They're so pretty to me, buuut not touchin'. What scares you, more than anything else? Losing those that mean most to me. I fear them leaving me in life by choice more than them dying, possibly. If there was no afterlife, could you handle it? Uh, I have to???? I wouldn't be aware of anything????? When in life did you feel the most care-free? Obviously as a child. Are you well-hydrated? Do you like water? Technically, no. I drink about two bottles a day I'd say, but that's not actually enough. I'm not a big fan of water, but. I do it for my health. Has an animal ever peed on you? Lol Venus did once when she was chilling on me for a long time, and some rodents I've had probably have. What would make a cool substitute color for the sun? Let her be p i n k. Which do you prefer: purple or pink? Can you guess??? What is your favorite color of the sunset/sunrise? *screams in pink* Is purple a good color for a car? Yaaaas. Do you prefer green or purple/red grapes? Purple. The green ones usually aren't firm enough for my taste. What color is your birthstone? Purple. Do you prefer hardly toasted at all or burnt toast? Barely toasted. Do you prefer guitar or piano music? Guitar if it's electric, but otherwise usually piano. Have your parents ever suspected something untrue about you? I don't believe so. Have you ever wished you’d been born someplace else? Yup. I'd far rather prefer to have not been born here. Have you ever had, or wanted, a pet ferret? Wanted. What’s a habit you find gross? Smoking. What’s the worst tattoo you’ve ever seen? This girl got her boyfriend's name a c r o s s  h e r  f a c e. What’s your favorite name ever? Alessandra. Think of how you used to be 3 years ago: how do you feel about who you were back then? Depressed as fuck. What’s the strangest fortune you’ve ever gotten from a fortune cookie? None come to mind. Do people ever force you to eat? Biiiitch you ain't gotta force me lmao. Is there a TV show you’ve wanted to start watching but never gotten around to? When I actually watched TV, uh... I'm not sure. When’s the last time you felt pressured to do something you didn’t really want to do? Not sure. Who was the last person to mess with your feelings? Mini. When was the last time you were in denial about something? What about? Boy, so many "I dunno"-type answers lol. I'm not really one for denial. Is there any certain style of architecture you really enjoy? GOTHIC. What was the last thing you gave up on? Colleen. 110% done with her ass. How easy is it for you to talk to someone else about your feelings? IT'S HARD. If you watch Parks and Recreation, who is your favorite character? Don't watch. Do you like watching documentaries? About animals, yes. What’s the last DIY project you did, if any? If you can’t remember, what’s something you’d be interested in doing? I've never done one. I suppose I'd like some Halloween ones I've seen. When’s the last time you had a problem that nobody could help you with? Recently. Friendship stuff. Do you have any siblings you absolutely despise? Why do you despise them? No. How many times a week do you shower? Is this a healthy thing for you? Four, usually. It's good for me. How many times a day do you eat a full meal? Is this a healthy thing to you?  Like... maybe only once. Or none. What’s your favorite movie? Why do you like this movie so much? The Lion King. Who doesn't love it??? What’s your favorite genre of movies? Why is this?  Horror. They just give me adrenaline, and I think about what if that actually happened. How many times a day do you say I love you? Who to usually? Always before bed to Sara. Sometimes multiple times a day to her. Always to Mom if she's leaving to go somewhere for a while. Do you prefer hoodies or jackets? Why do you prefer this choice? Hoodies. Just more comfy to me. Have you ever contemplated suicide before? Ever attempted it before? Contemplated a million times. Attempted once. Do knives scare you? Is it from watching scary movies? Yes, and no. They have horrifying potential to cause serious pain and warrant torture. Then I was running to slit my throat the night of the breakup, but Mom had to physically stop me, so I'm just. Uncomfortable around them. What would you consider to be the worst television channel out there? MTV. Have you ever had anyone drop off animals at your house and what kind? No. Do you remember when some of the Walmarts had a McDonald’s in them? Both the two in my area still do. When was the last time you were stung by a bee and what kind was it? Early spring, maybe? It was a bumblebee. Do you know anyone personally who had their house burn down before? Yes. Do you think the media can further manipulate our teenagers anymore? HAHAHAHA IT'LL NEVER END. Have you ever had someone sympathetically lie to make you feel better? Probably. Do you know anyone who has their septum pierced and does it look painful? Yes, and for me personally, yes, because I have thick cartilage. Has anyone ever kissed you in the rain and did it seem romantic at the time? Yeah, and I guess. When was the last time you listened to a genre of you music you despise? A couple days ago in the car. "IDFC" by Blackbear came on and I love that song okay. Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? No. Does your ex still think about you? Probably not. Honestly, who is the last person to tell you that they love you? Sara. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? More like literally all night with a few pauses. What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Black. Have you ever been to an auto show? When I was very young because our family friend invited us to one. I was too young to stay home alone. Do you know anyone who still doesn’t have a smart phone? Maybe. Have you ever been on a cruise? No. Have you ever had an x-ray? Yes. What is your favorite Thanksgiving food? Honey ham, but I can't eat it anymore. What letter does your surname begin with? "D." Did you have a New Years kiss this year? No. Do you prefer to eat carrots raw or cooked? I hate carrots so much. What was the first video game you remember playing? Spyro. What is your favorite flavor of Skittles? Red. Have you ever met a famous political figure? No. What’s your go-to website when you’re really bored? I guess Facebook if it's been some hours since I looked. What is your favorite chocolate bar? The Reeses one made of little rectangles. But if you mean like, a *traditional* bar, Milky Way. What is your least favorite Sour Patch Kids color? Orange. Have you ever seen the movie Matilda? Yesss, adore it. Are you allergic to nuts or diary products? No. Do you have trust issues? "Pistanthrophobia: fear of trusting people due to past experience and relationships gone wrong." Do you think age matters in relationships? In romantic ones, yes it does if one is a juvenile. I can't find anything morally wrong with adults and big gaps, but they creep me out regardless. Has anyone ever called the cops on you? No. Have you ever had your nails so long that they curved down at the ends?
 Omg no. Do you always wear flip flops no matter what the weather is? Is this??????? A direct attack????????? Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty feet? No, but it'd creep me the fuck out. If you don’t have one already, would you consider getting an iPhone? I want one. Who would you consider your favorite stand-up comedian? Living, not sure. Actually, probably Gabriel Iglesias. Would you say you’re too experienced or too inexperienced for your age? The latter. What is your favorite neon color? Ever buy nail polish that color? Pink. I don't paint my nails. Has anyone ever mistaken you to be a member of the opposite sex? No. Would you ever consider yourself over-dramatic? Not usually, but I can be. How often do you text people? Who do you text the most? Everyday, and Sara. What would you consider your second choice as a dream career? I really don't know. Both my dream jobs aren't obtainable for me, but uh. I guess something involving art. What is the longest amount of time you’ve played video games consecutively? Ha, definitely when a new WoW expansion came out. Can't remember if I played WoD or Legion longer in one go. Do you ever use cheats when you play video games? The kind that makes shit easier, no. Aesthetic changes, sure. Does your family go 'all out’ during the holidays? No. What’s your favorite kind of lunch meat to put on a sandwich? Ham, when I ate meat. When will you next see the person you love or are in love with? OCTOBER 3RD. Do you have anything that’s limited edition?
 Maybe? How well can you handle vulgar things (i.e. gore, disturbing images, etc)?
 I have a pretty high tolerance. But not so much at like disgusting medical issues. Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? I'm most likely marrying a girl. And I'm a girl, so. Who was the last male you hung out with? My dad! Who is your favorite person to text? Sara. She texts just like she talks, so I actually have interesting and more "real" conversations with her. What’s one nickname your family calls you? Just "Britt," really. Has anyone ever mistaken you for being gay/lesbian/bi? I had a therapist once who thought I was gay in middle school, so before I realized I was bi. Explain why you last threw up? A medicine I was on REALLY didn't like me. Ever kissed your best friend's significant other? That would be me. :'D But if you don't count Sara, no. Everyone deserves a second chance, right? Nooope. Would you ever want to ride in a canoe? I'd love to!!! Gay marriage: love is love or a horrible stand against God? Fuck any "loving" god who thinks consensual, sincere love is evil. Honestly. I will never be able to fathom how I was once against it. Do people tell you that you have an accent? No. Have you ever had an eating disorder? No. Do you prefer road trips or traveling on an airplane? Road triiiips! Do you enjoy tanning? Not at all. Have you ever seen The Breakfast Club and what’s your opinion of it? I didn't get the hype at all. Have you ever touched a dead body? Dead pets. Which of the seven deadly sins do you commit the most? Sloth. Did you have a Furby when you were younger? Yes. Demonic creatures. What part of your body are you self-conscious about? Everything???? But my stomach more than anything. Have you ever made out on a couch? Yeah. Have you ever been drunk at school or work? Nah. Have you finished school yet? I'm resuming college in January. What is your favorite kind of fruit juice? Mango and peach. Have you ever used a muscle stimulator before? Did it hurt? No. Have you ever done anything dangerous enough to have risked your life? Overdosing. Other things that we don't really think about too, like driving. Do you consider yourself egotistical? Do people call you egotistical? Not at all. I don't think anyone has? What gives you anxiety? So much, but I'll try to list those I can think of. Socializing (especially with those I don't know well), deciding the appropriate amount of eye contact when talking, making phone calls, driving, public speaking, being beside 18-wheelers, talking about things I'm really really passionate about, asking for things, awkward silences, answering the door for anyone (like when pizza is delivered and such), most men making even the slightest move that could be seen as flirting, and the list goes on and on. Could you ever be a medical guinea pig? Fuck that. Whats your favorite letter of the alphabet? "Z," maybe. Or "x." Whats your favorite Disney movie? TLK. "Finding Nemo" is right behind it. Have you ever handled a snake? Plenty of times. Could you ever be a living organ donor? For my mom, Dad, Sara, or my sisters, yes. Mom only has one kidney so I'd give up one of mine in a heartbeat if the last one was going. Have you ever contemplated suing someone? No. Have you ever drawn on a sleeping or inebriated person? No. Is it acceptable or unacceptable to smack a child as form of discipline? Fuck no. What’s your favorite way to dress? I feel most like myself in a gothic or metalhead look. What movie/game/etc. helps you calm down? My best bet of calming down via media is watch Mark. Probably go to old favorites. No movie is guaranteed to help me. Playing Silent Hill can soothe me, though. Ironically. Primarily the second. I think its the subtle ambiance and the steady footsteps that just relax me a bit. BUT SH2 also has my favorite soundtrack, so the actual music in it just does it for me. Do you believe in auras? I think I might? The concept is very interesting and some people really are talented at picking up the vibes of others. Animals are especially talented at that. What instrument do you wish you could master? Guitar. What do you put on hotdogs? When I ate them, ketchup and mustard. Do you have an unpopular opinion? What is it? Guacamole is fucking disgusting. Have you ever legitimately saved a person's life? No. What's your favorite book genre? Tbh, if I was to start reading again, I almost feel like it'd be something like teen/young adult romance???? Or fantasy, idk. Actually why not both. Do dogs like you? No joke, I've never had a dog be wary of me for more than a minute or so when first meeting me, rarely even that. Even when I go to others' houses and they have a usually uncertain dog, it's always pointed out that it's strange how (s)he takes to me so quickly.

[bleunoia]

amour

pairing: jeff atkins / reader

genre: smut (lol someone needs to tape my hands in prayer form bc I NEED IT)

description: jeff wins the championship game and as the great girlfriend that u are… u know..u do some cool tricks…HAHAHAHA

The party was bustling, the music was pumping, and you couldn’t seem to take your hands off Jeff. 

A few hours prior Jeff had hit the home run that won your school the state championship and you couldn’t be prouder. Your throat was raw from screaming his name through out the whole game and your hair was a mess from jumping out of your seat every time he stepped out to play. 

The moment the game was won you ran down the steps of the bleachers and threw yourself in his arms. He greeted you with a loud, “baby!”, and spun you around while you smothered his face with kisses. He laughed as you attacked him with your lips, setting you down before taking your face in his hands and giving you a proper kiss. 

All of his team mates began hollering as they watched him kiss you, egging him on. “Get it at the party Atkins, we gotta go!” 

He pulled away with a sigh, “Come on, they won’t leave us alone until we go with them.”

So now here you were, back-against the wall, his fingers tangled in your hair as he pulled you closer to him. 

You hadn’t started off the party this way. You were once playing suck and blow until the dude that was supposed to pass it to you let the card fall. Jeff simply turned your face to his, kissing you before the guy could even begin to think about it. From then on a few kisses escalated into a full-blown make out session and Jeff was pulling you into the nearest room. 

With a giggle you pulled away from the kiss, slipping away from him to lock the door of the room you were in. He shakes his head at you with a laugh, “You know that this is someone’s room right?”

“Well what they don’t know won’t hurt them.” You say with a grin. You walk over to him, grabbing the collar of his jacket bringing him close to your lips. “Plus, i’ve been waiting to get you alone since the game.” 

He raises his eyebrows at you, “Oh yeah?” 

You nod up at him, a small smile on your lips. “You played so good today and I never got to properly congratulate you.” 

You were slowly backing him up towards the bed, until he hit the edge and plopped down. His eyes followed your every move as you brought your legs up to straddle him.

You set yourself down on him and he immediately placed his hands to rest on the side of your hips. He let you have the control, sitting quietly as you roamed your fingers down his chest, teasing him.

You finally brought your lips to his, kissing him lightly as you pulled his jacket down his arms. He sprung to action, wrapping his arms tight around your waist pulling you flush against his body. You rubbed your hands down his arms, feeling the softness of his skin and the ridges of his muscles. Your hands began trailing up to his neck, slipping into his hair, as you slowly massaged the skin of his scalp. He let out a small moan, separating from your lips. “That feels nice.”

You smiled in response as you brought your lips to the flesh of his neck, sucking lightly, earning sighs from him. You gently pushed him back on the bed, your mouth still on him. Your lips trailed down to his collar bones and you left his skin red in what you knew would blossom into purple bruises by tomorrow.

He sat up curiously, watching you with lustful eyes as you moved your body lower down the bed. With your knees on the floor and your hands pushing his legs apart, you faced his clothed erection. You could still feel his eyes burning into you as you kneaded his thighs, dangerously close to touching him where he needed it the most.

He brought his hands to your hair, running his fingers through it. His breath hitched as you began palming him through his jeans, his erection becoming painfully constrained.

“Babe, please” he breathed out, pulling lightly on your hair to alert you to his desperation. You looked up at him, holding eye contact as you lifted your hands to unbutton his jeans. He lifted himself up from the bed to help you pull his pants down, still leaving his underwear on.

You licked a trail from his inner thigh up to the front of his boxers, kissing him through the material. His thighs jumped at the feeling of your lips and warm breath against his cock and you placed your hands on them to hold him down. He let out a small grunt of impatience and you began rubbing soothing circles on his tender skin.

“Relax baby, just enjoy yourself.” You whispered reassuringly. “No ones going to come in here, I made sure of that.”

He smiled down at you, trailing his hands to cup your face. “I know, I’m sorry…you just have me excited.”

You let out a small laugh and kissed the tips of his fingers, before taking them in your mouth. His pupils were blown and he watched you intently as you sucked his fingers in your mouth, imagining something else in their place. You released them with a light pop, licking your lips slowly.

You saw the effect you had on him, his breathing deep and his jaw clenched tightly. He was being a gentleman- not even remotely forcing or pressuring you to give him what he wanted, but you could tell you were pushing his control.

Deciding you had tortured the both of you long enough, you brought your hands to the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down and releasing him. He hissed at the feeling of the cold hair hitting him, his fingers lightly tightening on your head.

As soon as your fingers came into contact a gasp left his swollen lips and he threw his head back, your name leaving his lips. You slowly began moving your hand up and down his length, working him up. You swiped your thumb over the head of his cock making him thrust himself up into your hand, his arms giving up on him as he completely fell back on the bed. You felt his intense reactions going straight to your core, enjoying how you were making him feel.

You lifted your hand off him and he immediately sat up, wondering why you had stopped. You reached up to pull the bottoms of his shirt up and he helped you take it off, throwing it to the side of the room. You continued right back where you started, wrapping your hands around him again.

You watched him, admiring how his face scrunched up in pleasure and his abs clenched at the feeling of your hands. His forehead was glistening as you quickened the pace of your movements, small whines and moans falling from his lips.

You brought your lips to the tip of his cock, pressing your tongue into the slit. He let out a choked moan, bringing himself up to his elbows so he could see you. You brought your lips around him, taking him as far as you could in your mouth.

“That feels so good.” He moaned out, dropping his hands to take your hair out of your face and into a make-shift ponytail. You used your hand to pump what you couldn’t fit, more moans leaving his lips.

You were soaking at this point, Jeff’s pleasured sighs turning you on beyond belief. You took him further in your mouth, swallowing suddenly around him. He bucked up into your mouth with a loud groan. “F-Fuck.”

Your hands gripped his thighs tightly, focusing on taking all of him in your mouth. Jeff’s whimpering fills your ears, along with breathless moans of ‘Y/N’ and ‘baby, please.’ 

He tugged on your hair, causing a moan to leave your throat, the vibrations pulling more whines from his lips. You harshly sucked his tip, leaving him shaking underneath you. You could tell he was close so you swallowed around him again, feeling him twitch in your mouth. He was so close you could almost taste it, but before you could continue Jeff was pulling you off. “As much as I’d love to come in your mouth, I’d rather be inside you.”

His words bring shivers down your spine and you let him pull you up onto his lap. He kisses you deeply, your lips moving desperately against his own as you grind down on his lap. He licks his tongue into your mouth, grabbing onto your backside and pulling you closer to him. You feel him bring down the straps of your dress, leaving your skin blazing hot from just the touch of his fingertips. 

“I wanna know why you’re not naked right now.” He mumbled against your lips, dragging your dress down to expose your lacy black bra. He let out a groan at the sight of you, descending his lips down to kiss the tops of your breasts. You brought your hands behind your back to undo the clasps, letting the material fall off you. 

You sighed as he took your nipple in his mouth, massaging his tongue against it. His lips trailed up to your jawline, sucking lightly on the soft skin. He pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses back down your chest, tugging at the skin with his teeth and leaving pink splotches along the way. 

He swept his hands down, caressing the tender skin of your thighs. Your breath hitched as he felt you through the flimsy lace of your panties, rubbing you lightly. He pulled the fabric to the side, dipping his fingers into your heat. 

“Shit.“ Jeff hisses between his teeth, feeling how wet you are. You let out a strangled moan as he begins thrusting his fingers in you, hooking them up.  

He switches positions, pinning you to the bed as he hovers above. You claw at his arms as he continues to slide his fingers in and out of you, grinding his thumb on your clit. This new position allows him to get a better angle between your legs, increasing the force of his thrusts. You are rendered defenseless from the onslaught of his fingers, his name leaving your lips like a mantra. 

“Jeff - fucking hell - you’re going to finish me if you keep going like that.” Your back arched off the bed as he circled your clit roughly, high-pitched whines spilling from your mouth. “I need you, please.”

His fingers leave you and before you know it, he’s on his knees, sucking bruises on your inner thigh. Your fingers twist in the sheet underneath you as he flattens his tongue against you, a groan leaving his lips as the taste of you floods his mouth. 

His lips wrap around your clit, sucking harshly. Heat flashes through you, making your toes curl and your head throw back. You helplessly rock your hips against his face as whimpers fall from your lips. 

“You taste so fucking good.” He whispers, voice raspy and low as he looks up at you with dark eyes. The vibrations of his voice on you has whimpers and incoherent mumbling of his name tumbling from your lips. 

“Jeff.” You desperately mewl, tugging at the strands of his hair. “I want you to fuck me.”  

His breath hitches in his throat and then his hands are on you, lifting himself up. His face was glistening from your juices and his eyes wild, looking at you ravenously. “God, I can never get enough of you.”

You grabbed his face bringing it to yours, tenderly brushing his hair back with your finger. You placed a small kiss on his lips, “And I can never get enough of you.” 

He smiled before putting his mouth on yours, his tongue lacing with yours immediately. He devoured the kiss, putting all his want and need into it.

You reached your hand down to grip his length, moving it towards your entrance. You rutted your hips upwards, desperate for him to move.

A soft whimper left your lips as you finally felt him push into you. Your chests were both pressed against each other’s and you could feel the rapid beating of your hearts overlapping.

“Jeff, move, please.” You choked out, gripping onto his biceps. He pulled out slowly, before thrusting back into you. Your nails dug into his skin, small whines spilling from your lips.

He descended his mouth to yours, kissing you to muffle his moans as he moved in and out of you at a steady pace. “Is this okay?”

“More than okay.” You groaned loudly as he thrusted particularly deep, brushing a sensitive spot. “This feels so fucking good.”

Jeff picked up the pace, his breathing heavy. You brought your legs up to wrap around his waist, allowing him to thrust into you deeper. Your head lolled back against the pillows as he dipped his head down to kiss your neck.

You were melting under his lips and thrusts, continuous mewls of pleasure leaving your lips. You brought your hips up, meeting him. “You feel so fucking good.”

You whimpered at his words, bringing your lips up for a heated kiss. He picked up the pace, hitting a spot that made your toes curl and your head thrash back with a loud moan. He continued lifting and dropping his hips to hit the same spot every time, your hands desperately clawing at his back.

You were falling apart, your body ablaze by the way he was making you feel. You clenched around him, a loud groan leaving his lips. You opened your eyes to see his face contorted in pleasure, the sight alone enough to make you orgasm.

“I’m so close- oh fuck.” You murmured, rocking against him.

“Me too baby.” He quickened his pace, moaning as you tightened around him like a vice. The feeling of you clenching around him was bringing him to the edge at full speed, but he wanted to hold off for you.

He moved his fingers down to rub on your clit furiously, trying to bring you to your finish.

“Let go baby,” he urged. “Let go.”

With a high-pitched moan you fell over the edge, the feeling of his fingers on you and his voice pushing you over. You shook as your orgasm ripped through you, your mouth agape as indescribable pleasure flooded your senses.

Jeff growled above you, thrusting into you as his fingers continued to move against your clit, helping you ride out your orgasm. He thrust into you faster, chasing his own high. You tightened around him again, loud whimpers falling from his lips as he got closer to the edge. You raised your head up to take his earlobe between your teeth, nibbling slightly.

“Jeff,” you coaxed into his ear. “Come for me.”

That was all it took and he was coming, his mouth biting down on the skin of your neck to keep himself from crying out too loud.

You were entranced by the sounds falling from his lips and how beautiful he looked coming undone above you. Your hands moved up to brush his sweaty hair from his eyes as he continued to thrust into you, his eyes shut and his face flushed.

With one last thrust he fell onto you, a tired sigh leaving his lips. You both lay there, your breathing synced as you basked in each other’s arms. It was as if the whole world melted away, leaving just the two of you in it.

He gently got off of you, pulling out and rolling over next to you on the bed. His arms pulled you to his chest and you immediately wrapped your arms around him, tangling your legs together.

You listened to the steady pace of his heartbeat, his fingers rubbing patterns onto your skin. You felt his head turn down to face you and you looked up to peer at him through your lashes. He stared down at your glowing face before tenderly placing his lips on yours in a sweet kiss. Your heart filled with joy and a smile spread on your face as he whispered against your lips,

“I love you.”

HELLO I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE OMG I was supposed 2 put it out on 4/20 but lol life got in the way HAHAHAHA ;-) ;-)

BUT ANYWAYSSS I hope this is what all those who were requesting Jeff smut were looking for!! i wont only write smut, I’ll switch it up to fluff too because I know some people aren’t into it. but I hope you guys enjoy it, again any feedback would be appreciated it’s like about to be 5 am but YALL KNOW THE GRIND NEVER STOPS 😤😤💯💯💯 ok I’m gonna fall asleep before my eyeballs fall out of my ass

[inhalareexhalare]

Is the Boat Sinking?

So it's been pretty productive. We had a core group meeting for our start-up music house. Let’s call it Peak. (I’m low-key paranoid shit, so I like to code things.) And then Sofi and I found a hole. One of our singers, Cece, had her name separate from the band. Frankly to me, it was just as easy as clarifying individual visions which would've easily decided whether that band remained a band, since our vision didn't seem to coincide with hers.

But it got dramatic.

Some emotion got in, especially for Ira who personally felt like he was being used, in the way that Cece was only treating them as background people when in fact, the lyrics are hers and the music is the rest of the band's. 

Cece left. I think it’s not a bad thing. It’s good for this to happen now than later. The nature of her vision does not coincide with Peak’s. It’s good to realize this as early as possible. For both our visions.

Then Karu talked (finally) to turn the conversation to clarity, asking the right questions (at least in my opinion) so that we could understand Cece's point of view. And then it was easy. Nobody was the perpetrator and nobody was the victim. I guess she’s back on board!

Karu can't sleep. He's having nightmares. I snuggle to him and give him warmth, and touch him with love as much as I can and I hope it at least gives him calm.

It's already the morning and he still hasn't gone to deep sleep.

I love Karu.

He's been feeling the pressure of having to be the "captain of the ship." He is, sort of.

I want him to know that a captain is never alone in the ship. He just has a different function from each of the crew. We're still one team. We are all accountable to one ship and one cause.

I wonder how I can give him more love? Not that he ever tells me he has little. I just want to give more.

To Karu:

You may be the captain of the ship, but that just defines your function. We are each and all accountable to one ship and to one cause.

Know that whatever choices we make, it's something we made together. We advocate freedom of speech and equal voices :) Nobody's role was ever a centralization of power. This is servant-leader. Know that we have your back, whatever happens.

You don't have to always know everything. The seas will most of the time be vast, and the wind uncertain.

Know that we are here with you not because you guarantee our successful sailing but because we believe.

And that is what matters.

And a leap is not a leap without the equal possibility of falling and flying.

I want you to know that I am proud of you, and proud of our team that truly showed last night the conviction for the vision. Maybe not everyone purely understood and stood for the same vision, but they believe in you, and they believe in us as a whole team.

They believe in a better world.

Let's do our best to keep the main thing the main thing! :)

Only Life really knows what it's doing hahahaha But fear not, Life establishes our steps :) It makes sure we always have a choice not to lose our way.

More lovin' tonight. Rest.

Pray. Meditate.

2018-10-09 0530 Philippines

(i know. I forgot to write last night HAHA)