#cause we will ruin a society somehow by being different

[pageofheartdj]

Reading all the complaints about microlabels it seems like people have an idea that ‘you just want to feel opressed’.

Which is. No!

That’s not what microlabels are for. And honestly it feels pretty offensive to assume that you are the way you are just to be opressed. This is the core part of your identity and if you are not opressed or not as oppressed as others, you are not valid.

Labels are words. And you know what words are for? That’s right, to desribe something in the most accurate way.

Labels give people a sense of belonging and community. A sense of understanding and being understood.

When you don’t have to build this massive explanation, when you can say one word and this is you.

They are acting like we will rip away their spot light of poor opressed victim. Or we will take their piece of a pie by also being here jfc.

We are people and we are all living our lifes and you don’t get to order how we do it. We aren’t touching you and you leave us alone.

[rosesradio]

being a silly goose & i wrote a lawrusso drabble i guess--tw for mentions of harassment & implied trauma from silver

word count: 400

Johnny's hand is on his arm, but Daniel still looks distant. His eyes are glassy, breathing shallow. He's looking in the direction of those guys, but they'd been escorted out minutes earlier. Those assholes had been harassing girls all night, stir-crazy under the flashing lights and pumping bass--Johnny was familiar with the routine in high school. Daniel had looked at them almost longingly, like he'd wanted to step in; the Daniel Johnny knew would step in. It had only been a year since graduation, what changed?

Soon after, one of them had caught Daniel looking and rounded on him, jeering and egging him on. Johnny had tried to warn them to fuck off, but as soon as one of them had grabbed Daniel, security had come through to put a stop to it. Of course, Daniel's Little Guy Privilege--a privilege no amount of money in Encino could buy--bought his way into the guys getting kicked out. But that didn't seem to make Daniel feel better. He still stared, his breathing shallow, and Johnny could bet his heart was racing like a rabbit.

"Come on, Larusso," Johnny says, hand on Daniel's arm. Daniel tenses only slightly, but soon relaxes--as if his body forgot it was Johnny. Just Johnny. "We can still have fun here, right?"

"I...shouldn't have fought back," Daniel said, his voice a million miles away.

"What do you mean?" Johnny asked. "You hardly did anything--security took those assholes out."

Daniel nodded, eyes squinting and brows furrowed in the sense that he wasn't quite registering what Johnny was saying. "I didn't want to cause anyone trouble...or get anyone hurt...or ruin their fun..."

Ruin their fun? Now Johnny was the confused one. "Well, I'm perfectly fine with ruining their fun, 'cause they were gonna hurt you anyway. Why wouldn't you wanna fight back? You did so no problem in high school.”

Daniel finally met Johnny's eyes then, and when he did, Johnny's stomach sank. He felt a stab through his heart--this was not the same Daniel he'd known in high school. He still had the same charismatic, somewhat annoying nature, but he was also...different, somehow. Once, Ali had been reading a book for her literature class--a girl had been subdued by her placement in historical society, or whatever. Daniel was like that--reserved, distant, subdued.

And Johnny was going to find a way to draw him out again.

[windandwater]

having said that the only thing I don't like that has shown up in more than one Alice Oseman work that I've engaged with, including Loveless, as well as other queer media (usually YA), is plotlines wherein not coming out or telling friends about a queer relationship becomes a source of drama/a plot point.

I get it? I get that this is a genre and we need to drum up drama somehow? especially without going in hard on some of the more painful themes around coming out; you need a plot, but how do you get one without dialing in on outright misery?

but a person's queerness and their relationships in that space are not for anyone's consumption, even people they love and trust, until they decide that, and not telling another person (about their sexuality, about their relationship, about anything related to their queerness) is not about their hurt feelings. and it rubs me the wrong way to see it become all about the friend on the other end feeling like they're not trusted or like they were being used when it's not fucking about you no matter what happened. no matter what happened your job in that scenario is to set your feelings aside and just be there.

it sends the message that queerness somehow hurts your friends and family if you don't come out to them on their timeline, that this a hurtful thing to be. and it's not. society fucks us all over by making queerness unsafe for us but this does not mean your existence is inherently hurtful, that you cause pain unless you tell exactly the people who want to be told and don't tell exactly the people who would hurt you. it's actually on everyone who does truly care about you to understand and empathize with how hard this balancing act is and support you through it no matter when they become part of that support system.

I'm not saying that those hurt feelings don't happen but I wish the way it played out in media was less "both of us are at fault" and more "I'm sorry, this is not about me and I should've remembered that."

so yeah. can we handle this trope a lil differently? it bothered me a lot in Loveless where it was actively “you figuring out your asexuality hurt me personally.” that whole plotline set my teeth on edge.

and god knows coming out is scary though as it is, the last thing you need is someone yelling at you for doing it wrong or hurting them for how you did it. I went into a self-doubt spiral for years just because of aphobia on tumblr not even directed straight at me, if anyone had reacted to me in person the way they do in some of this media, it would have sent me right back into the closet. just. good fucking lord.

(to be clear: I for sure advocate for coming out once it's safe for you to do so, once you have good support in place, but you are not obligated to and no one is entitled to that information about you. you can tell whoever you trust when you're good and ready. protect yourself and trust your decisions. it's okay to take it slow and do it on your own timeline and in your own way.)

one more note: I know the creators making this media are largely queer and I also wouldn’t say the use of this trope ruins any of these works for me, or that it makes the creators or the works bad. I still like most of the media I’ve engaged with that had this in it! it’s not an all-or-nothing game! like I said, what I want is for us to think through this particular trope a bit more carefully and handle it differently.

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 playthrough - GATHER YOUR ALLIES, MUTHAFUKKERS

I thought “fight the elder brain” would be a relatively quick encounter but surprise: it is not! I thought I was going to be able to wrap everything up last night but I had to take a break. Spoilers below the cut.

The elder brain has a different and interesting conversation with you if you’re a durge - it seems I am still facing the consequences of my actions. When she said the plan would have worked if I had stayed in the group, I’m… gosh I don’t know how to feel about that… how.. Interesting to hear that I was… a great tyrant…oh… good…?

Voss said Orpheus would slander my name and indeed he did, accusing me of stealing an unborn gith child! I assume this is on purpose to make it seem like Orpheus won’t be friendly, and not a glitch where the game thinks I did something bad? Cause excuse you me I did not STEAL A CHILD, I was GIVEN an egg by the CRECHE BABYSITTER who was afraid that the egg was going to be destroyed, and I protected it TWICE from sketchy Society of Brilliance people who offered to buy it off me. Then Orpheus went on to say the CORRECT action I SHOULD have done was to let his attacking honor guard kill me honorably, and because I didn’t, all these deaths were on my head. Ok. Ok. Needless to say, I didn’t shed any tears when he transformed into a mindflayer.

I do like that the choice between Orpheus and the Emperor is not exactly clear cut, there are some people who like the Emperor and want to side with it. I do feel like in its own way it has been working hard to help, it has, and like I said, Orpheus sure didn’t exactly win me over. BUT, but, in the end the Emperor reminds me too much of shitty people in my past, gaslighting and manipulating me. Everything it says has an aspect of the truth, which makes it hard to argue against, but you know in your gut there’s something wrong there, even if you can’t articulate it. When WE don’t trust it and hide things from it, it’s us being unwilling to work together, us being prejudiced against mindflayers, etc, but when IT withholds things from US, oh well that’s a totally different story, it HAD to do it, that was DIFFERENT, it’s DIFFERENT when it applies to itself, and we have a different set of rules. Yeah, fuck that, I’ve heard allllll of that before. It’s funny because I DO kind of see its point of view, when it summarized all the things it had done to help us in the past, I had to agree, but… yeah. That lecture about trust, the attitude it takes with us, I mean amazing writing on Larian’s part - the way the Emperor talked to us in that scene felt sooo disgustingly familiar, made me sick, and it might be some of my player issues bleeding through into my character, but that was it for my tav, that was it.

So the Emperor fucks off and says now we’ve left it NO OTHER CHOICE AT ALL, it is FORCED to join with the elder brain. Yeah, no. That’s not the only choice left, that doesn’t even make any sense my buddy, and you’re not blaming me for that, this isn’t my first rodeo with this bullshit, fuck you. Byeee.

Alright let’s go. It’s stressful to see the city ruined like this - my tav is so protective of his people, but he has to just trust they’re going to be able to save themselves right now.

GATHER YOUR ALLIES - aaaaah I was looking forward to this for weeks!!! It’s so satisfying to see everyone I helped all gather together. Except the Gondians, who are in my ally list but don’t show up at the final battle, lol. It’s also really not great how Zevlor feels tacked on… here he is, he’s back and he’s a hellrider again, somehow, no we didn’t record any chat dialogue for him because we didn’t have time / didn’t think you’d want it? Like man even freaking VOLO comes and hangs out at my camp. Myeh. Whatever. I’ll take what I can get I guess. I’d rather have this somewhat incomplete conclusion than a fully complete version where he betrays the grove like in the EA.

I believe I managed to collect every single non-evil-choice ally. Eh. And… maybe one evil choice ally? If you count the strange ox as an evil choice? Oops? I dunno guys, I dunno, we had a good chat there at the inn in act 2, I… didn’t… lol I have no excuse. I helped the ox, I don’t know why. Let’s just hope it keeps its desire for bloodshed sated with smugglers and thieves hiding out in the sewers, I guess?...

After that you can give a rousing… well… a rousing single line of dialogue, anyways. But, if you have Minsc in your party, you can defer to him to give the rallying speech, (I guess a nod to the old games?) and it’s actually pretty touching. He says he used to count the steps he had taken away from his home in Rashemon. He had to stop and let Boo do the counting instead because the number got too high and it made his head hurt - and his heart. But now he considers the number of steps to be zero, because he feels like Baldur’s Gate is his home now, and he will fight to defend his home! Your one little voiceless line of dialogue really pales in comparison tbh. It’s a bit too bad… I wish your own character had a similarly rousing moment. I feel like this would have been a great place to have your tav VA record a couple dialogue lines for a little speech, and that would have felt really neat, similar to what happens when a durge fights Orin. Oh well.

PHEW. Onward to victory! Here we are at the end of the playthrough. Hard to believe.

(the cranium rats all stopping to look at me was a bizarre and fun touch!!! Guess how many times I had to reload back to the boat because I forgot the hammer or some other item?)

[jlf23tumble]

I would bet at least a few pennies that no actual swifties are hating on her, but lady-hating larries/harries? I'll bet actual dollars that's the case, lmao"

I know you probably don't care cause you don't know me but I expected better from you because are you honestly implying that in a big fandom like Taylor, there is NOT a group of swifties being hateful against women all the time? Like I promise you, someone somewhere is being sexist in Taylors fandom 24/7. I have to see at least one tweet every single day from a swiftie either coming at Adele, Beyonce and Ariana. I truly get you hate larries/ harries but don't let that blind you and I'm happy for you if you have found the side of the swiftie fandom that doesn't hate but trust me it exist. The difference between swiftie and harries/larries? Swiftie would never throw Taylor under the bus but larries would hurt Harry/Louis etc if it made larries happy ( remember them trying to ruin DWD). If you want, just take a look at 5 replies and 5 qoutes. Hateful and none of them from the 1d fandom. Not all of it is even from swifts/larries/harries. Olivia has become everyones punching bag. https://twitter(.)com/PopCrave/status/1710415243329851455

Oh, I *do* care, and I'm sorry for giving the impression that somehow larries/harries own the entirety of lady-hating in a celebrity space simply because I didn't caveat it up the waz, obviously, we live in a society, etc., that clearly, casually, constantly hates women 25/8, rest assured I know it's out there! That said, I took a spin through the link you sent, and I didn't get the vibes that suddenly "everyone" is hating on Olivia Wilde (more so than usual) for more than just being a famous woman commenting about another famous woman. In fact, that thread quickly devolves into Taylor's the fucking worst for flying in private planes and people defending Olivia for making an actual point, though sadly, nobody driving it home that she's not the only one (or even the first!) to make said point.

[luvpogl-music]

[And so know you psychologically swift sadistic sinners of the night; where did we last find that degenerate called Job, who's big ideas and faith of God left him derelict and neglected by even the best hands of society? Ah, yes if memory serves the correct feast, he had just got the notion that somehow, God found the only blessing he had, one item left to call his own; and throw it away in the hands of the beast!]

And so Job found ways to fill his hands with work, even while navigating the shifty underworld of the midnight streets. He wrote symbols and hieroglyphs of all magical sorts, not just for the ears, but rather a strange sensation of sounds, which when transcribe blinded the eyes and pierced right to the heart. By day he'd let those words speak mysteries to life's magical wonders, putting reality to the legends of old. And at night he worked just as feverishly with his lessons, but sometimes, yes sometimes even God saw he should break, and it was in those times The Beast would awaken and stir across the Aetherverse.

Seeing the joy in his heart and the blessings he attempted to give the world, it was then God spoke to him and said, "NOW GIVE IT AWAY"! And this conception caused constant rumination at the back of his thoughts. "But, who, how, what could be so deserving of the special nature of those words he'd writ?" at times becoming deranged by the thoughts. And so when his pen would no longer work, and he had not other adventures for the day to incur, he found a way to begin a search. He asked The Lord to put before him all the lost souls of the world, to which he should select from them, one, one chosen to receive something so powerfully precious and unique.

At times the search becoming more urgent in his mind as time was only further passing by. It was here God left him on his own search, as He ventured the world addressing other concerns. Days and weeks went by, Job pouring through the photos and talking with people from all walks of life; it was all seven continents coming together as one, from which he was to make this important selection. He'd spend time with one or two, but it was never long before they'd be gone, back to their routines; leaving Job sitting to ponder more alone.

And then one day, just as one passerby was walking away that a photo of another came across his view. This picture though, this picture was very different than the rest. There was a spirit of emptiness that ripped through the page, stabbing his chest with a pain he would never forget. And intrigued by the thoughts of just what could leave a person so beautiful that empty he began to investigate further if maybe it was her that was supposed to be given those words. Now, he'd given lot's of people words and thoughts to tickle and tease their desires and dreams, but the words of these books were more precious than that. For these words, had a power inside of them, that carried a power with them. A power so great that if wielded by the wrong person or taken before a thought complete, would bring ruin an demise to all those that did speak.

You see, those words had meanings behind them, but crafted in such a way that those who did not study and read the magical books of the world, there meaning they would obfuscate. And the twisted misunderstandings and confusion among them would make everyone sound only like they were babbling rather than displaying any truth of God's authority. And this too, every good and studious Jewish boy and girl knows to be in fact the gift with which their ancestors first blessed the world with. Unknown to most, but from the beginning of time, hated and revered those people were for Wisdom and Knowledge is how their God had blessed them, making them the first empire built by educated means. [I do believe that Jerusalem was the first city center dedicated to being a great center of spirit and scientific knowledge. Another hidden message displayed by the fruit of good and evil; given to man by the hand of woman in the Garden of Eden].

So after some time went by and Job, through the course of his daily discourse with the enlightened men he could find, he would keep a watch over that girl and find if it was her that should be delivered from the fires of hell that rage around us all. Time went by and he finally got the nerve to speak, here and there he'd toss clever and cunning comments just trying to get her attention, but she just kept ignoring him. To busy to bother with things that did not shine, more concerned with the leeches that clung to her. The scoffing he just brushed off, but something told him just to never give up; for he understood by now things far greater than she had even dreamed when she was young.

And so he continued with his contributions of little things, and those little things turned into medium things and more of his time did he dedicate to provide them for her to see. But Job was no fool you see, for it was Wisdom he asked God for; a lesson which turns out is a never ending curse and blessing. Never ending because no human can ever fully attain it, only get better at practicing it and a blessing, because it is through wisdom that pain becomes something easier to live with. He had come to discover this young lady's name was Noir.

Now, he'd heard of her before, but never paid her much mind. For she came from a place that he'd cut his teeth on before bubblegum was around. Those legends who built the foundation of the stage she stood on. Back when there was still music in the breath of the world, by now though most of it has been turned over to the hands of greed of Satan's hand. Once a little group of men from England demonstrated to the world, just how smart four pour kids from the East End could make a success of it, pariahs came to prostitute it all costs. Draining every piece of beauty from it, until there was nothing left but an empty shell of made up faces to sell the brainwashed fans.

It was that Job loathed from the menial model being sold to the mindless masses. But something about her rang different chords through his ears, after all, one should at least have a bit of courtesy to listen as well as they asking others to listen. The weeks turned to months and Job continued to work and develop strings of those symbols which might get her attention. And then one chilly October day, late morning it was, something happened, something that neither of them would ever forget.

[Well, children of ciphers, let us leave this demented derelict to his deceitful tactics and remember friends, these words like them; can be just as dangerous should you use them wrong. So astute in their use a studious one should become, or troubles worse than Jobs may just befall you].

[28dumplings]

To Love & Letter (12/10/2022)

“Survival was my only hope, success my only revenge.” - Patricia Cornwell

Did you do a self-check today? Did you ever think you’d reached the heights of your success? Has your perspective on success shifted?

Every man’s dream is to be successful. Some believe that if it’s for you, it’s for you; leave the rest to the universe, but I think that’s a bit of a shallow statement. A person will never be successful if he has a goal but does not try to achieve it. To carry out your ambition, you must pursue it with zeal and dedication. There are no shortcuts to success, only shortcomings.

Being young and free in the Philippines gives me the advantage to achieve my goals, but living in the Philippines is like living at the North Pole, where the sun takes longer to appear, and if it does, it can only appear as an eclipse. We can think of the sun as a metaphor for hope; it rarely appears here, and when it does, it can only give you half a chance. However, while waves of problems and catastrophes of misfortune may occur, I always remember that this is only the moment of the disaster and that overcoming it will make me stronger when I face my success.

Either You Run the Day or the Day Runs You

When I was a sweet innocent Bea, I fantasized about having a pink-clothed mansion and living the Paris Hilton lifestyle. A young girl who dreams of becoming the princess she wishes to be. A princess who ruled, was beloved by the people, and always got her way. As I grew older, being a sophomore caused me to make somehow different choices. Most people never took me seriously because they see me as someone who only obeys rather than orders, which is tiresome. I still want to be a woman who dresses in pink, but I want people to perceive me as authoritative as men. Pink is associated with femininity in our patriarchal society, and being feminine implies that you are inferior to men and that everyone should see you as a porcelain doll, soft and cooperative, rather than a wild cheetah, strong and feisty. My desire to be a princess is still visible there, but it is likely not innocent, I want to be involved. If society refuses to change, be the change that forces society to change.

Don’t let society forget who you truly are. When you feel like giving up on your dreams, remember why you started in the first place. Everyday life presents us with challenges, but not allowing life to ruin us is a stepping stone to success. Put your heart, mind, and soul into even the most insignificant acts. This is the success formula. Believe in yourself. Your positive action combined with positive thinking results in success. Surround yourself with positive people and connect with people who are already successful in their lives. When I fail to consistently do and be consistent in myself, I remember my mother telling me that success is not final and failure is not fatal; what matters is the courage to continue.

Success does not occur by accident. Persistence, hard work, learning, and, most importantly, a love of what you are doing or learning to do are all required. Our way of achieving success is like a song, different melody, pattern, tempo, and genre, but we always have the Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti, Do basic key. Be gentle with yourself and learn to appreciate who you are; you are uniquely made. Success does not always refer to the bigger things in life; sometimes it refers to our ability to be what we want despite the odds of being different from everyone else.

Bea S. Gellangcanao

[lifeinpoetry]

I’m genuinely annoyed with this scheduling conflict with my therapist and it’s set off other points of contention. 

I was supposed to have 12-ish sessions with a therapist at a time where it works with my chaotic sleep schedule. We decided on 2pm since it works whether I stay up two days or go to sleep at 5am. Not sure what happened and am sure it was an honest mistake but only 3 sessions were scheduled and then my time slot was somehow given away. Now I am expected to do future visits at a different day & time every week, all but one of them in the morning. It is not a schedule at all. 

I have no problem pushing back therapy until that therapist has that time slot available again and am willing to just get a referral if it’s too difficult but I’m not going to do something that does not work for me being clear during therapy and does not work for me as a neurodivergent person who needs some sort of frame of reference to mentally prepare for therapy, have my ‘homework’ done, and actually make sure I make it to the session. It’s online but still.

Then I started thinking to her being like, I’m not sure that’s illegal in re: to my disclosing the medical (?) trauma that caused me to opt of going to psych wards forever. & being like, it’s good you don’t need them anymore. I don’t fight with therapists, instead I shut down, but what the actual fuck. Was that some sort of code for psych patients don’t have rights or the usual HCWs covering for other HCWs (full disclosure: both my parents work/worked as HCWs). Considering the fact that the hospital employing the nurse asked me if I wanted to press charges it was very fucking illegal so my disclosing what happened wasn’t supposed to elicit, I’m sorry it made you feel bad but let me cast doubt on your calm certainty that your rights were violated.

I also didn’t know how to say that not everyone experiences the hospital as trauma. I remember a psych I saw at the hospital telling my parents the psych ward was a place I went to recharge from all the shit going on at home, it was a place that felt safer than home. Which probably does not make sense to most people, even neurodivergent ones. That does not mean that every hospital stay was free of bad experiences with either staff or other people on the ward but it was better than home when I was at rock bottom. What happened in early 2016 changed that and I’ve not been back since but I don’t think it means I am magically improved, it simply means psych wards are not a safe place anymore.

Just another thing. Her mentioning that neurodivergence is a lot more accepted in general. I was like, anxiety and depression, yes, not so much schizophrenia/schizoaffective. She contradicted me so I dropped it. 

There have been a few recent books told by people with schizophrenia/schizoaffective but most of the memoirs are by the family or SO of a schizophrenic, complete with ableism and exploitation. It’s mostly a story told by others and I’m a kid of a mentally ill parent so not saying people don’t have a right to their life story but some of the memoirs are clearly mining a severely mentally ill family member for content. Some of these are even award winning so are elevated by neurotypical people. 

Mainstream society does not love schizophrenics and clearly wants the unhoused ones to disappear. Most news reports on schizophrenics are about crime, acts of violence, or re: unhoused people ‘ruining’ cities. I’m not sure if I’m missing something but I don’t feel accepted by general society, especially since the entire premise of the search for the schizophrenia gene was eugenics. I am pro-choice, btw, but let’s be clear, its people feeling schizophrenic lives aren’t worth living.

I really needed to type this out and vent that I have a really difficult time pushing back on anything in therapy and I am not willing to have the most chaotic therapy schedule/non schedule because of this.

[caustic-light]

This is not a hate ask in any sense, but what do you mean by, pedophilia isn't a genuine threat? There are adults who sexually abuse kids. I'm honestly not trying to be confrontational, I'm just genuinely confused.

It's about how abuse works and what abuse is.

The socially prevailing idea is that child absue is something that is being caused by some kind of personal moral and sexual corruption and deviance. That used to be attributed to gay ppl and other marginalized identities and as gay people gained more and more acceptance towards the 90s it was gradually overtaken by being attributed to pedophilia. The 90s and early 2000s had huge movements about being aware of pedophiles, very similar to the satanic panic of the 80s. Then with the emergin internet, the target largely shifted onto nebulous predators using the internet to abuse children.

"The danger of pedophiles is an evil force trying to take your children away, ruin them and destroy your families." And throughout all of it those attitudes never really changed. Ask ppl if they believe in childhood innocense for example, which is a concept that only exists to describe some nebulous sexual impurity that children can be struck by and ruined. The threat used to be being turned gay by the way and a lot of people still see sexual perversion as one of the outcomes to be prevented. (See also "abused children become pedophiles" and other offshoots of "gay men rape your boys and turn them gay.")

Now, the way child abuse actually works is that it's about power and social hierarchy. Adults abusing children do so from the position of parents, teachers, priests, family friends, ect. All positions of power. They're either trusted by the people whom near absolute power over the child is granted by the state (the parents) or those people themselves.

No form of sexuality plays a significant role here, not any more than male on male prison rape is being influenced by homosexuality, because the reason children are targeted with sexual abuse is not sexual desire, it's availability and inability to fight back.

Abuse is not a sexual act. It's an act of violence. Even sexual abuse. And the perpetrators aren't the societal boogeyman of a shadowy pedophile preying on your child, it's the people society trusts to prevent that abuse by holding unreasonable amounts of power.

But society holds on to the idea that child abuse happens because of some strange, shady creeps preying on the children of good, pure (christian) families. Society holds on to that image because then ppl don't have to examine their own compliance in the abuse of children. Their own silence when childrens basic rights are violated every day. When the way society treats children is at it's core a form of abuse, too.

The family must be good, power must be good, if the family doesn't have absolute power, who's going to protect these children from all those dangerous creeps who prey on them?

And right there pedophilia is created. (Mind you I know that pedophilia, as in the attraction to kids does exist, but that's not the one we are talking about here, these are two different words and concepts with the same name pretty much.) This is the point where suddenly it's really helpful for peoole in power to say "My power is unquestionable because I am not a sexual deviant."

And it's very handy for homophobes that they can keep scrutinizing queer people and suddenly liberals and lefists will not hesitate to believe them when they talk about the sexual threat to our society and suddenly we have kink at pride discourse because somehow queer people are suddenly very desperate to prove that they're not sexually defunct. We keep saying that we have proven that queer people aren't pedophiles but somehow we just keep getting more desperate to not be called into question on that, almost like making the threat ambiguous allows anyone to see pedophilia wherever they want and now we are just making the queer community anti sexual and conservative to escape from that.

But if we wanna actually address child abuse we have to completely get rid off the idea that it's caused because of some sexual perversion and impurity and examine the power structures that actually enable and enforce it. As long as we validate the idea of pedophiles abusing children, we will always hide the abuse that happens around us behind closed doors and in the power of the good, upstanding parents who's power we justify bc they're straightnot pedophiles.

[makeste]

some follow-up thoughts on BnHA 306

mostly Deku angst, but also a little Baku angst (and some TodoBaku angst) mixed in for good measure. because there’s plenty of angst to go around.

1. “if I’d only been stronger...”

I’ll talk more about Deku later in this post as well, because there’s definitely plenty to talk about; this is the most character development he’s gotten in almost 200 chapters. but for starters, I want to discuss the possible parallels between Deku’s current character arc, and what is arguably the most iconic moment of angst/character development in the series.

remember how this kid, who up until this point had rarely seemed to give two fucks about the world around him, suddenly revealed that he blamed himself for being the downfall of All Might? remember how it came almost out of nowhere? how he’d been hiding it, and trying to suppress it? “but even if I try to forget... sometimes it all just comes rushing back.”

yeah. so anyway, I got to thinking -- if being the cause of one hero’s downfall could affect someone this badly, what about being responsible for the downfall of all heroes?

what if a boy who wanted nothing more than to keep people safe suddenly found himself at the epicenter of a disaster that killed hundreds, possibly even thousands of people?

now obviously, this is not the sole thing that’s troubling Deku right now; this kid has a whole array of traumas as of the War arc. like, you know it’s bad when Society As We Know It Coming To An End Partially Because Of You is the least of your problems. but still, I think this is worth bringing up, because the hero kids blaming themselves for things that aren’t their fault is hardly anything new. and yet, what with everything else that’s been going on -- all of the Todoroki drama, and Vestige revelations, and hospital antics, and political strife -- I feel like it’s easy to forget or overlook this little detail.

the fact is that AFO put this entire plan into motion solely in the hopes of finally obtaining OFA. every single thing that happened at Jakku -- Tomura powering up; Machia waking up and going on his rampage (after being ordered to do so by Tomura); and even Dabi/Touya choosing this moment to finally strike (because he knew this was when the reveal would do the maximum damage -- when people’s faith in heroes was already wavering) -- every last bit of it can ultimately be traced back to AFO’s desire to steal OFA. which, obviously, makes it AFO’s fault, not Deku’s. but then, Kamino wasn’t actually Katsuki’s fault either. it wasn’t his fault the villains went after him (but he blamed himself anyway), and it wasn’t his fault that people got hurt in the ensuing battle to save him (but he blamed himself anyway).

just. I think we’re underestimating just how strong of an impact all of this likely had on Deku. we haven’t really had the chance to see him process it yet. he’s been too busy, and there have been too many other things going on. but I’m telling you guys, that empty look in his eyes in the final page of the chapter? I can all but guarantee you that at least some of that emotional weight is coming from this.

sure would be nice if he had a friend who knew exactly what that was like, and could help him process the guilt and all of the other associated emotions, just like Deku once helped him. unfortunately I’m not so sure things will be that easy this time around. anyways though let’s move on to a couple of other thoughts and speculations.

2. “...and I bullied him.”

one of my least-favorite BnHA fanfic tropes is the one where the rest of class 1-A somehow finds out about Katsuki and Deku’s history -- i.e. that Katsuki bullied Deku throughout most of their childhood. mind you, it’s not the concept itself that I dislike; it’s mostly how it’s used. a lot of times it’s just an excuse to have all of the other kids turn on Katsuki and ostracize him; either because the author thinks that’s what he deserves, or else so that Deku can eventually come to his rescue and defend him and shame the rest of the class for not seeing how much he’s changed. either way, it’s usually pretty awkward to read, and more often than not the characters are pretty OOC (especially Ochako and Todoroki).

however! there’s a big difference between fanfic and canon, and just because I’m not a fan of this trope in the former doesn’t mean it couldn’t be executed well in the latter. and lately I’ve been thinking about this a lot. mainly for three reasons:

the recent (can we still call it recent?? well whatever) scene where Katsuki confessed to All Might that he used to bully Deku is now one of my favorite scenes in the entire series, and proof that this can be executed well.

both Todoroki and Deku have finally had their respective big secrets revealed to the rest of the class. so like, idk. feels like it just might be secret-revealing season now, you know?

and lastly, as a result of Deku’s secret about OFA finally being revealed, the rest of 1-A now either knows, or can extrapolate, that he used to be quirkless.

and from there, I feel like it’s not all that hard to put two and two together with how terrible Kacchan and Deku’s relationship was when they first started at UA. that’s not a terribly difficult puzzle to solve. so I feel like it might come out anyway, and if so, I’d prefer Bakugou telling them himself, and taking responsibility as part of his atonement process. because we know that he regrets it. we know their relationship has changed. we know that he has changed. and so I think I might like to see this.

alternately, if confessing to the entire class is too much, at the very least I could see him confessing to Shouto, because I’ve always felt like this was one of the big things that made Katsuki so resistant to letting Todoroki call him a friend. because I feel like there’s a part of Katsuki that saw the parallels between Endeavor’s abuse of Shouto and his own bullying of Deku, and thought, he wouldn’t be so quick to call me his friend if he actually knew the truth. and so there’s actually been this roadblock wedged between them this whole time that Shouto doesn’t even know about. because Shouto hates Endeavor. and so it’s not such a leap to assume he’d hate Katsuki too if he knew just how terrible he’d been to Deku when they were younger.

not that I think he actually would! actually I don’t think either of those things is actually true (because Shouto clearly doesn’t hate his father either, in spite of everything that’s happened). but the point isn’t what I think -- the point is what Katsuki thinks. and I really do think there’s a good chance he’s worried about Shouto hating him, and it’s one of the things that’s made him so reluctant to accept his friendship. anyway, so I’m really just rambling now, but you get my point. I don’t know if this is actually going to happen, but it’s a scene I would like to see if Horikoshi decides to indulge me.

3. “...so when you wake up, please give him my best.”

and now, as promised, back to Deku.

ngl guys, when I first saw this image, my immediate thought was that Gran must have died. because I mean, hello, leaving U.A.?? donning himself in his teacher’s old cape?? empty, exhausted look in his eyes?? what else were we supposed to think lol.

but maybe that was an overreaction. because when I think about it more, Gran’s death isn’t strictly necessary in order to push Deku over the edge. first of all, there’s already the whole “hero society is in ruins now because of you” thing I mentioned earlier. but also, there are just so many other things. like, let’s just list them here because omg. what a rough couple of days this kid had.

he was forced to battle TomurAFO and was terribly injured in the process (most of which was his own fault, but he wouldn’t have gone that far with OFA unless he felt like he had no choice)

and it wasn’t just him that was injured, either. in fact, even though he tried to act as bait to keep everyone else safe, he wasn’t able to stop three of the people closest to him from nearly being killed right before his eyes

and of course that last one was especially traumatic, because it was Kacchan, and because he had to watch Kacchan nearly die just to protect him. out of all the things that Deku witnessed in this arc, this might be the one that had the biggest impact on him

he was also basically helpless to do anything to protect Shouto and Endeavor when Dabi showed up. so again, we have this running theme of people he cares about being hurt and him not being able to save them

and he also got sucked into the OFA Interstellar Dream Vortex for a brief spell during the battle, during which he learned that AFO had possessed Tomura. more importantly, he learned that Tomura was Nana’s grandson, a fact which was only briefly touched on during that scene, but which I think wound up being the trigger to the whole avalanche that ended with Deku leaving UA. but more on that in a moment

anyway so just to wrap this all up, the battle eventually ended, Tomura got away despite all of their efforts, and then Deku wound up comatose in the hospital for two days. which brings us to the most recent chapters, during which

Deku learns that he will be the last wielder of OFA, whether he likes or not

Deku learns the identity of the last two mystery OFA users

and then at some point, he wakes up and presumably talks to Gran, and winds up with his cape

something happened during these last two scenes which helped to push Deku over the edge. I won’t delve into the matter of the Second or Third users for now, although most of you already know my suspicions regarding that, and I do think that would fit into the general pattern here (that is, the pattern of Deku feeling more and more strongly that he is putting the people around him in danger, and his fear of losing them becoming so overwhelming that it eventually pushes him to leave).

but that’s not what I want to talk about for now. what I want to talk about is Gran. specifically, what it is that Deku discussed with Gran. and this is where we come back to that reveal I mentioned earlier -- that Tomura is Nana’s grandchild.

basically, what I think happened is that Deku mentioned seeing Nana in the OFA Zany Psychedelic Spirit Void, which led to the topic of Tomura, and the fun fact Deku recently learned about him being related to Nana. this, in turn leads to Gran divulging his various regrets about everything that happened with him and Nana and Kotarou. his intent is to apologize to Deku for placing the burden of their failures on him. unfortunately, the part that Deku actually gets fixated on instead is this:

All for One hunted down and killed Nana’s son (and probably her husband as well), and stole her grandchild and psychologically tortured him into becoming a mass murderer, for no other reason than that Nana had once held OFA

in other words, AFO can and will hurt and kill anyone Deku is close to, anyone who has any kind of connection to him at all, without mercy, and regardless of whether it actually gives him any kind of tactical advantage or not. he’ll do it simply to hurt him. no other reason necessary.

I don’t know about you, but for me that would be a terrifying realization. and for Deku, I think it just might have been the tipping point.

so, let’s recap.

Deku learns that AFO is after him

AFO/Tomura very nearly kills several of Deku’s most important people, including Kacchan

and then he learns that this is just the tip of the iceberg, and realizes that all of their lives are still in danger and will continue to be as long as Deku is AFO’s target

and then add to all of this the misplaced guilt about society already being shambles, and the heroes already having more than enough to worry about. they’re barely holding things together as it is. and we already know how Deku feels about being a burden to them:

and so instead, he leaves. of course he does. in hindsight, I think this was inevitable.

the question is, did anyone else also put the pieces together in time to realize what Deku was planning before he actually left? specifically, did Katsuki, who understands Deku’s self-sacrificial nature better than anyone else, see the signs and put two and two together? like he did back at Jakku?

and if he did, would Deku have been willing to accept his help again?

somehow, I can’t help but think it might not be that easy this time.

anyway, so that was a lot of rambling, lol. sorry about that. I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS about all of this angsty shit. tired nomad Deku needs hugs and comfort and someone to reassure him that he doesn’t have to face this alone, and that everything is going to be all right. HE IS JUST A LITTLE BOY. this is too much, and I cannot handle any of these feels, and oh my god, somebody please help him.

[deaddruid]

This argument is so silly. Watch this:

The pedophile-hating arguments parroted by [XYZ person] are exactly what Falwell used to say about gays and lesbians:

They're sick and evil

It can be fixed with therapy

It's not "natural"

They'll attack our kids

They're predators in the locker room

They'll ruin marriage/personhood for normal people

What's that you say? That's a ridiculous (even offensive?) comparison because the bases for the arguments are widely different? That being a pedophile and being gay are extremely different topics, especially since one causes harm to a vulnerable group?

The whole reason it's offensive and ludicrous that these arguments are applied to gay people in the first place, is because they are implying that people who are gay are mistaken/ill and causing real harm, when it's observable and true that it's simply a natural lifelong biological phenomenon and that no harm is done (in fact, acceptance tends to improve the quality of life of gay people immensely) by allowing two people of the same sex to love each other participate in society the way it is accepted that straight people can.

The problem is not that these are somehow illogical statements [X thing is just a phase, people who do Y are doing harm] in and of themselves, and we should disregard anyone who describes anyone else as a predator or going through a phase. It's that they don't have any real basis when applied to gay people.

On the other hand, criticism of gender ideology (not necessarily every point here) does have a real basis. Dysphoria is a real mental illness that the majority of children grow out of and can often be treated by therapy, unlike homosexuality. There are many, many documented cases of women and children being violated by males identifying as women, ie. exercising rights afforded to them by freedom of identification and gender expression. We do see the rate of transgender identification increasing at a massive rate, and we know it is a socially contagious phenomenon. And who is saying trans people ruin marriage?

But even if you don't think this criticism has a real basis, you should be able to understand why "well these arguments are used against this type of person and that was wrong!" is just a quippy catchphrase or potential viral tweet, and not a genuinely sound argument.

[adonis-koo]

Moon Child • knj

↳ Summary: You had never dreamed of a day where you weren’t an Omega, beneath the boots of all your brothers and sisters. In an untimely manner your life is quickly turned upside down at the unexpected Blood Moon Alpha being your mate. With a new home you are summoned to the Kingdom of Vampires all while struggling to get to know your new mate.

↳ Genre: werewolf!AU, a pinch of angst, fluff, smut, alpha!namjoon and omega reader dynamic, soulmate au, 

↳ Word Count: 16k

↳ Pairing: Namjoon/Reader

↳ Tags: whew okay um, brief thigh riding, dom!namjoon, alpha is used as a title, rough sex, vaginal fingering, doggy style (what else were y’all expecting?), heat sex, mating, a lil degradation (he calls her a bitch a lot), namjoon likes to call her little :(, size kink, a lil possession, breeding kink, begging, multiple orgasms, namjoon’s cum makes MC go feral??, 

Last Installment

Note: aaaah this has taken me over a year to write lmfaooo but it’s so worth it! I can never make a short fic for my husband so I hope you all enjoy! 

Run. Feet aching, heart rate spiked and head pounding and yet all you could do was keep running as if your life depended on it. In fact, it did depend on it. Your whole life, your freedom- or what little you had left of it, it all depended on how fast your legs could take you. The cool seeping air that was first sight of winter made your cheeks feel chapped and throbbing, your body near numb with a chill and yet all you could do was shove the branches away from your face away.

You made it obvious, you knew it too, there was no way they couldn’t hear the way your feet crunched over the fallen dead leaves and twigs, the little cuts of your skin was the biggest no-no above all else when escaping a pack- your pack to be exact. You see wolves thrived on scent, it’s how they hunt and track, Werewolves, are no different. 

You didn’t know where you were going but you were going to get there somehow. You could hear them in the distance, they were close. Too close. But the rattling up ahead had you spooked as well. You could smell a human and.... something else. A vampire maybe? No, it was strange. Your mind was frantic and you couldn’t go back from where you came. 

Shoving through the branches you nearly yelped as you smashed into the doe eyed girl who looked just as scared as you, you could hardly register the throbbing pain of falling down before scrambling away, a whine escaping you as you heard howling in the distance, “Please…” your words weak as you glanced up to the male. 

Silver hair and magenta eyes caused him to stick out like a sore thumb in the flora of green, he was immediately at the girls side helping her up as his nose wrinkled, eyes flicking to yours before the girls as he spoke,  “Sorry darling but I don’t deal in wolf affairs.”

The girl however couldn’t help but let her lips part, glancing between you and the male before she tugged in his shirt, “Jimin…” She murmured softly, your head frantically shot up at the sound of stampeding paws pounding against the soft earth, they were closing in, “She looks like she needs help...” 

Your lips quivered and now that you were on the ground you weren’t sure you could get up any further, your legs ached and your mouth dry and parched, the male gave you a sympathetic look before glancing at the women as he frowned, “Sorry love but wolves have their own court system, nothing we can do about it. Sorry.” He only spared you a brief word before grabbing the girl by her arms and just as you blinked they had dissolved into nothing but black dust and a leftover trail of something foul as you let out a loud whine.

“There she is! I found her!” You scrambled backwards at the sight of your packs head Beta, eyes viscous as he snarled at you. Whining you lowered your gaze as you curled up against yourself. You had one chance and you ruined it. Now what would become of you? It was like a flash, all of your pack hunters surrounding you as they gritted their teeth and snarled, tears blurring in your eyes as you curled into yourself. 

You had one chance and just like always, you ruined it.

 “Look at the pathetic bitch,” You could the two Beta girls snicker, fingers pointed in your direction as you lowered your gaze, feeling your lips begin with quiver slightly as they began laughing once more, “Her head must be empty if she thought she could outrun us. Omega, fetch us our drinks please.” She shouted, as if just to mock you further. 

Tonight was a celebration, and it wasn’t a celebration without the pack’s laughing stock. You, of course. Trying to run away was foolish, it wasn’t like an omega could survive on their own, but you were willing to risk it. Even if it meant just a taste of freedom before you died. Yet just like everything else, you failed miserably. 

The torn leather collar was just an added humiliation, a show of power and a show of just how low you were in the pack. You weren’t usually one for self pity, but you couldn’t deny the envy in your veins when you saw other omega’s in the pack. 

Omega’s were the lowest of low, they were considered dirt, but even they didn’t have it as bad as you, they continued their daily duties of watching the younger children, washing the pack’s clothes and any other domestic duties. You had all of these responsibilities as well the only difference was that they weren’t the Alpha’s favorite punching bag. 

Walking up ahead you held your tray, approaching the two Beta’s who were currently laughing at you before you gasped, feeling a jerking sensation of your body suddenly toppling over due to the Beta’s foot conveniently sticking out just as you walked up to them. 

The wooden cups toppled down spilling all over your dress before thudding to the ground making the two girls howl out laughing, “Lost your footing bitch? Awh the poor little omega is going to cry!” Your fists curled in absolute fury as your eyes blurred making them laugh further as you glared at the ground. A wad of spit hitting your cheek as the Beta girl spat at you, “Serves you right you filthy traitor. Abandoning your pack. How shameful!” 

They both cackled as they walked away, tears of anger dripping down your cheeks as your hands shook with rage as you harshly wiped the spit off your face. This was life, tormented by people all due to your rank. 

You couldn’t help it, you were born an omega. It wasn’t your fault you were born weaker than everyone else, that you couldn’t fight, that your sense of smell wasn’t as good or your sight, it wasn’t your fault you were worthless. Why did everyone's entertainment have to come at your expense? 

Sniffling slightly you rubbed the tears from your eyes as you sighed, attempting to not let the frustration get to you. It wasn’t like you could change your birth right regardless. But perhaps in time, people would simply forgot of your existence. Your dress would be stained now and the cups wouldn’t pick itself up after all, life had to go on whether you were the ass of every joke or not. 

The last thing you needed was a Beta walking by and scowling at how incompetent you were, “Miss Y/n..! Do you need help!” You glanced up at the bright pair of doe eyes, little Hueningkai stared down at you with that shy smile of his. 

You couldn’t help the tiny smile that pulled on your lips as you shook your head, “Don’t worry Kai, I’m fine…” You lowered your gaze a little as you sighed, standing up as you brushed off the specks of dirt from your skirt, your gaze softening a little as you glanced down at the little five year old, “You should get back to your mother. She wouldn’t want you talking to me.” 

Hueningkai frowned, those big eyes of his dimming a little before he stomped his foot, “My mom can’t make me! You’re nice Y/n why is everybody so mean to you…!” He frowned eyes looking somewhat glossed at the blatant mistreatment of you, your heart softened a little as you kneeled down, offering the boy a small smile. 

He was too young, too innocent to understand how packs- how your pack worked. Some days you couldn’t help but wonder if the little boy’s heart would always stay this soft, or if in time, he’d become cruel like everyone else.

“This is how the pack works Kai, don’t worry about me. I can handle myself. Now run along, the Blood Moon pack will be here soon and I’m sure your mom will want you close.” He parted his lips to object before sighing, bouncing a little in his spot before he nodded. You sighed as you watched him scurry away where the crackle of the large bonfire was in the distance and the moon was high in the sky tonight. 

Patrols would be heavy tonight and despite this being a celebration you weren’t a fool to the tension in the air. Blood Moon was one of the strongest packs in the realm, not only this but they recently made an ally with the vampiric Jeon Dynasty of Arestella which was a feat in itself. This was a big step for werewolves. You ran in packs and it was rare that society accepted your kind in their towns and villages for long.

But now having Blood Moon formally recognized, not just by civilization but by the Vampires, the most respected species? It was a massive honor and everyone wanted to jump to be allies with Blood Moon in hopes of also getting an ally with the Jeon Dynasty. Including your pack. 

Blood Moon was coming here to evaluate if your pack would be worthy of becoming allies. If it were up to you, you’d tell their Alpha to not waste his time and find a more compassionate pack then your own. If you were going to rot alone in this pack forever then you might as well make everyone just as miserable. 

Your pack was strong, but not enough to take on one like Blood Moon, perhaps that’s why the guard rotation would be high tonight, in hopes of making your pack look stronger then it was in reality. Who knows, if this went bad maybe they’d just kill you all. Maybe they’d kill you and put you out of your misery. 

The flames of the bonfire exploded as you watched the crowd pile around in the distance, cheers were loud and drums banged as you picked up the cups, gently holding one in each hand as you sighed, the wood had been brittle and cracks had become apparent as they bounced against a large tree root. Standing up you intended to throw away them in the waste bin not too far away from you but you stopped in your tracks at the strong smell. No, scent.

It was like firewood and cedar mixed together, maybe even a little pine if you sniffed hard enough. Your nose wouldn’t stop twitching at such a dreamy scent, you could almost smell the twinge of ash from here. How weird. You rubbed your nose as you dumped the cups into the bin. 

No matter how hard you tried though the smell wouldn’t go away, not that you minded of course. It smelt amazing, you just couldn’t help but wonder what- or who- was causing it. Maybe...No...who were you kidding? It was said mate’s had heightened smells, to find one another, but, you surely didn’t have a mate. And even if you did...You doubt they’d ever want you. The crowd seemed to morph into an even larger state as unfamiliar wolves joined in. Blood Moon must have arrived.

“What are you doing standing around bitch? The Alpha wants you.” You sighed as you lowered your gaze, the head Beta snarled at you, grabbing your arm roughly as he yanked you along making a small whimper escape your mouth. You were dragged through the crowd as they made a path for you both as you came up to the large bonfire, everyone standing at a distance due to its immense heat that licked at the air nearby. 

You strangled another whine as you were thrown at the boots of your pack’s Alpha, shakily you sat up on your knees wrapping your arms around yourself as you refused to look up at him. You could hear him chuckle as he kneeled down grabbing your chin harshly, “This is our pack's little bitch. I’m sure she’ll keep your beta’s nice and happy, won’t you?” He growled menacingly as you lowered your gaze once more, lips quivering as you sucked in a harsh breath. 

That scent from earlier suddenly suddenly invaded your sense once more, this time even more heady than before. It was all you could smell and even tenfold. Your thighs suddenly felt weak and arousal pooled uncomfortably between your legs.

“That won’t be necessary.” A strong deep voice cut in, making all the cheers from your pack stop as a new pair of thick boots stood in front of you. A squeak leaving your lips as you were suddenly pulled to stand up, large hands wrapped around your arms and you were glancing up at the tall daunting figure of the Alpha of Blood Moon. 

A hand quickly cupped your chin as your lips began to tremble, you heard him scoff, a twitch of irritation on his face as he lifted your chin higher as if inspecting the bruises you dawned.

You were confused and scared and yet oddly aroused, being face to face with the werewolves strongest Alpha and he seemed angry. Silently furious even, what had you done to even warrant this? Breath? Your lips trembled in fear as thoughts invaded your mind frantically, you were dead, you were really dead now. 

You hadn’t even said a word- “If this is how you’ve been treating my mate, then we have no business to attend with you.” Your lips parted, openly gaping at the said alpha who just claimed….you...you were his mate…

Oh...oh my god...you were his mate! You wanted to scream at the top of your lungs at how much of a complete idiot you had been for ignoring his scent earlier yet you were frozen in place staring up at the tall figure of Blood Moon’s Alpha, Kim Namjoon. 

He was even more handsome in person then what you had heard, you had an amazing angle of his razor sharp jawline and truthfully you couldn’t help but feel somewhat intimidated and aroused all at the same time. His k-nines looked just as sharp if not even more so and his tongue was tucked into his cheek, showing a dimple yet his expressions couldn’t convey anything but annoyance.

Your pack's Alpha’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head before he sneered, a gritty smile on his lips as he forced a laugh, “This? Is your mate? Namjoon surely you’re joking. We Alpha’s don’t associate with weaklings like them, they only slow our packs down.” You couldn’t help but lower your head in shame...He was right...you didn’t deserve to have someone like Kim Namjoon, Alpha of the great Blood Moon pack be your mate. You were nothing in compared to the leaps and bounds he had made in the werewolves history. 

“Omega’s are what we need to keep our humanity, they’re the softness we need in our pack to remind us that we’re still human. Omega’s are the caretakers of the sick and the hurt, they’re the ones that remind us peace is just as much of an option as war. I couldn’t be more proud to have an Omega as my mate.” Your gaze shot up to the wolfish appearance of Namjoon, his hair had been neatly styled but there were still a few stray hairs that gave him that wolfish look.

You couldn’t help but feel somewhat timid under the hellfire gaze of your pack’s Alpha, but oddly enough, having Namjoon stand beside you made you feel oddly...safe...Warm even, as if it was radiating off his body and you felt the urge to nestle against his side. As if it were meant to be.

Your wariness however stopped you from attempting to do so. You may know who Namjoon is, but you don’t know him personally. Is this just a set up? To get you to act out before you’re cruelly punished. You haven’t said a peep yet and you certainly don’t intend too. Especially with both pack’s present and not a single soul speaking, everyone's eyes wide at the situation that has unraveled so quickly.

“I’m surprised the Jeon’s choose your pack,” He sneered, eyes darkening as he growled, “Any Omega sympathizers are usually outcasts. What makes you think you can take my Omega?” He punctuated the word carefully making your heart squeeze a little. 

“What makes you think I can’t take her?” Namjoon suddenly snarled, his voice guttural making you jump, his eyes flashing a dangerous red as he bared his k-nines, “My pack is the strongest for a reason and I’ll make a demonstration of that just as easily. But because my mate is present I’ll make you a deal. And you sure as hell better take it. You let me take my mate, and I’ll leave this pack without a slaughter. No deals are being made and you won’t be allied, but you’ll be alive so there’s that.” Namjoon gave an icy condescending smile making your pack’s Alpha twitch in irritation. 

It was silent for a moment before he bared his teeth, your pack’s Alpha hated being made a fool and right now he looked like a whole circus as he snapped, “Go! Take the bitch, we don’t need her anyways.” Namjoon’s eyes cut at his words but he said no more. Waving a hand you squeaked at the sudden appearance of another wolf, Namjoon glancing at him briefly before down at you, “Take her to the camp set up.” 

You hadn’t even said a word and just like that, your life had been completely changed. Yet ironically enough, walking with the wolf as everyone's eyes glared down at you, you wouldn’t miss this hell hole for a second. 

You were wringing your hands as you paced in the lavished tent, a rug was even thrown down and there was a desk filled with plenty of papers, a foldable cot was set down at the end of the tent. You had never been somewhere so...luxurious before. You were subjected to sleeping on the ground most days and you were considerably lucky if it was closed to the bonfire. But not only was this tent set up close to the fire, there was a bed. 

You had never slept in a bed before. Well, a cot. But it was the same thing to you. You just couldn’t stop stressing though. Were you really mated to Kim Namjoon? Was he the one you’d spend the rest of your days with? You felt unsure, you needed to get to know him. To know if this was it. 

Werewolves had derived the term Mate, it was the closest you'll ever find to a soulmate. The Moon Goddess, had a mate planned for every wolf, someone who was your perfect match. The one you were meant to spend your life with. You personally, just always assumed you’d die both young and alone. It was hard believing Namjoon….Kim Namjoon, was your mate. 

You perked up at the sound of footsteps coming from a few feet away from the tent, they were surprisingly light compared to what you expected. Turning around you were met with the tent flap opening, your lips immediately quivering as your gaze timidly dropped at the sight of Namjoon entering. 

You could hear him chuckle softly making you fidget. What were you supposed to say? What were you supposed to do....Okay it was a dumb question, you knew what you were supposed to do. Mates would consummate and mark one another when they meet, mating was a universal thing to all creatures alike. But… you didn’t want to do that with someone you just met…

No matter how much your instincts were going crazy right now with the need to bend over his bed and present yourself in need. 

“You look scared,” Namjoon murmured softly, you jumped at his hand cupping your cheek, you hadn’t realized he was right in front of you until now, “Mmm, I won’t hurt you.” His growl was low, almost instinctive at the way his nose nudged against your hair, “I’ve been waiting to find my mate for a very long time. What’s your name?” 

His hands tenderly wrapped around your arms, his nose continuously nudging your hair as if drowning himself in your scent. You weren’t sure if his gesture was meant to be comforting, a part of you wanting to lean into his touch but the other had been bruised your whole life from touch. How were you supposed to learn to be okay with it again?

Your body naturally tensed in his grip as you murmured, “Y/n…” You didn’t want to be difficult, you didn’t want your mate to think you were stubborn and unattractive, but...You also didn’t want to give in right away...you weren’t sure you were ready too. 

Namjoon nipped against your ear making you jump, a playful smirk on his lips as he replied, “I’ll just assume you already know my name.” He decided to attempt a bolder move, nipping at your neck, this time making you whine. Except it wasn’t the good kind, you attempted to push yourself away as your gaze lowered back down.

Namjoon immediately paused, frowning as he pulled away somewhat to look at you. Your considerably smaller figure timidly glancing at the ground, as if expecting some sort of reprimanding. It was from this moment Namjoon realized this was going to take a bit more time then he had hoped. His hormones and your scent were driving him utterly insane with the need to mount you. 

But your comfort was and would always be more important to him, he wanted you to trust him, to be unafraid of giving yourself to him. While Namjoon wished being mates would magically make all this happen, he knew it wouldn’t, “Why don’t you get undressed and lay down. I’m sure you haven’t gotten a good night's rest in awhile.” 

Yet he couldn’t resist the urge to stroke a tender hand through your hair, pushing it back away from your eyes so he could properly see your face. Timidly you glanced up at him, nibbling against your lip as they parted before closing for a brief moment before you forced yourself to speak, “B-but...what….what about…” Your face felt hot as you tried to finish your sentence. 

“That can wait,” Namjoon replied promptly, offering you a gentle smile, “You’re here now, there shouldn’t be a rush. And you don’t look comfortable. Is there anything I can do to help?” 

Your lips trembled slightly, you weren’t sure what it was. Namjoon’s kind smile, those pretty dimples that showed up on his cheeks as he glanced down at you, or if it was his tender touch against your hair, as if he was calming a scared child. You didn’t know what it was but your eyes were watering before you let out a sniffle. 

“Hey, shhh! Don’t cry.” Namjoon was immediately cupping your cheeks, a frown on his face at the sight of your tears but before he could ask why you were crying you launched into his arms, wrapping your arms tightly around him as you buried into his warm chest, into the divine scent that rolled off him in waves. 

“T-thank you. Thank you so much.” You couldn’t stop thanking him in muffled sniffles, unsure of what you have ever done to deserve such an incredibly compassionate mate. You had never met an Alpha like Namjoon before. Most were cold and intimidating, but he was different. There was a reason he was the strongest. 

Rather than lock away his emotions, he weaponized them. 

Namjoon wrapped his arms around you soothingly as he pressed a tender kiss against the top of your head, “Shhh, you’re never going back there again. You’re home my little omega.” You had the biggest, most dumb looking smile on your face as you nuzzled into his chest, your cheeks burning at his nickname he had easily provided you. But for the first time in your life, it didn’t sound demeaning, it sounded endearing. 

You couldn’t get enough of Namjoon’s touch, it wasn’t even sexual. No matter how much your body thought it’d be better if it was. Just his touch was healing, it made you want more and more of it. You kept nudging him every time he’d take his hand off of you, wanting to be continuously petted. 

You might not have consummated with your mate, but you did spend the night tenderly in one another’s embrace, Namjoon showering you in the touch you were starved of your whole life. You never thought you were interested in physical touch until now, you wanted all of it, you wanted his hands petting your side, stroking your hair, his lips peppering your face in kisses.

You felt like a pup again when you fell asleep against his chest. Your life had changed drastically in a single night and yet you didn’t feel overwhelmed in the slightest. This was meant to be, you were sure of it.

“Looks like a storm is brewing.” You jumped at the soft sound of Namjoon’s voice, calm and steady behind you as you turned around from your spot where you had been currently watching the clouds brew and darken. You have been with Blood Moon for a little more then two weeks now. Everything was so...different.

Everyone was kind, they treated you with the utmost respect which you found yourself dumbfound at. You understood to a degree, being mates with the Alpha meant you’d….you’d be the packs Luna. There was no one to guide you on how to be a Luna and perhaps that was what had been secretly daunting you. This wouldn’t be an easy task, what if everyone judged you for making a wrong move? 

You wouldn’t become Luna of course, until you were mated to Namjoon, which you hadn’t partook in yet. But it was still lingering in the back of your head. Things between you both had been, formal at best. There was still much physical affection at night...and the occasional rutting- from the both of you before you both stopped your instinctual nature. 

“I’ve always loved the rain,” You offered a meek smile, you still had a hard time finding a way to converse with Namjoon in an informal way, he often told you at night he preferred when you spoke freely but...It just all seemed so foreign to you.

Turning back around you let the cool wind blow against your face, lifting your chin a little as you sniffed the fresh air, you could smell the crisp evergreen and the combination of rain on the horizon, “But thunderstorms always scared me as a pup. I have exceptionally good hearing so I didn’t like loud noises back then.”

Much like any other Omega you were considerably weak, but all omega’s had at least one strong sense, and yours just so happened to be hearing. But you often thought it came at a disadvantage, all you ever heard was the laughter of your brothers and sisters who looked down their noses at you. 

At least omega’s with speed had a better chance at running and those with good sight could see predators a mile away. Yet all you could do was cover your ears in hopes to drown out the noise of the world.

 “And what about now?” Namjoon asked, offering you an endearing smile as he sat down on the fallen tree that you stood behind, taking a moment to admire his beautiful mate. Turning to face him you gave a somewhat sheepish smile, lowering your gaze a little. 

It was hard some days to even look Namjoon in the eyes, he still carried the pheromones of an Alpha and it constantly reminded you that you were below him. That if you even so much as annoyed him he could easily snap your neck and there was nothing you could do about it. You felt guilty sometimes, for thinking this way. But it wasn’t as if you could help it, you had spent your whole life getting thrown around by your old pack’s alpha. 

“It doesn’t scare me as much anymore as it just hurts at times.The only thing that isn’t completely useless about me is my hearing,” You offered a weak smile as you rubbed the back of your neck, looking back out over the storm ahead, the clouds becoming darker by the second before you watched a crack of lightning strike in the distance, “It’s much more sensitive to noise then most wolves.” 

It was true, that was your one exceptionally good ability, you could nearly hear things a mile away, sometimes you picked up on interesting conversations. You had even known Blood Moon was planning to visit your pack long before anyone else found out in the regular ranks. It wasn’t a totally useless ability. But still, good hearing often came with disadvantages like loud noises that always had you whimpering and covering your ears.

“You aren’t useless.” You jumped at the way Namjoon suddenly grabbed your shoulders, turning you around to face him, his expression almost appeared like a scowl, looking somewhat angry as he continued, “You’ve been saying degrading things about yourself ever since you got here. You are my mate,” He let out a soft growl as you lowered your gaze, feeling like a pup being scowled at the moment, “Don’t mistake your softness for weakness. You aren’t useless. I won’t stand for you saying these things about yourself.” 

A loud crackle of thunder rumbled making you jolt a little, a low whine emanating from you as you rubbed your ears, “That’s easier said than done. You haven’t lived the life I have.” You tugged away from him a little as you kept your gaze lowered, pretending to not notice the look of mild hurt on his face at your rejection of his comfort, “I wouldn’t expect you to understand.” 

There were moments like this from time to time, moments of disconnect between you both. You couldn’t help but wonder somedays if the Moon Goddess made a mistake, if you were really meant to be with Namjoon. Especially when days like this happened. 

“Then help me understand,” You paused as Namjoon wrapped his arms around you from behind, letting his chin rest on your shoulder as he nudged your neck with his nose, “I only want the best for you Y/n.” But did he? You felt unsure of how to go forward with your budding relationship with Namjoon. Could you really open up to him? 

“I don’t know how,” You mumbled, feeling somewhat ashamed despite not knowing why. Maybe a part of you wished you did, you wanted to be with Namjoon, you really did. But the only thing stopping you was yourself. Glancing out over the dark clouds you sighed, feeling a droplet of rain splat against your cheek as you rubbed it away, “We should get back to camp to let the others know the storm is beginning. It’s going to be a long night.” 

Namjoon looked as if he had more to say but only nodded at your words, stopping for a moment before holding out a hand to you. Glancing down at it you nibbled against your lip before hesitantly letting your fingers lace in his. 

He offered you a small dimpled smile, free hand lovingly stroking through your hair before leading you back to where the pack was camped out.

You and a few of the scouts of the pack had searched for somewhere dry to stay before the storm fully hit, thunder kept rumbling from far away and the lightning was getting closer with each strike. 

Out of a pure stroke of luck you had found a large cave mass that went deep into the Northern Mountains. The rain had already started pouring down as everyone was being gathered into the mountain, Namjoon was soaking wet as he waved in the crowd of people, his eyes meeting your soaking figure as he paused, “You should go to the fire and get warm. Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold pup.” 

He smiled down at your cute figure that glanced up at him, you rubbed your cheek somewhat shyly as you shook your head, you couldn’t afford to lay by a fire when so many others were being drenched in the ice cold rain, “I’m okay. We need to make sure everyone is safe first. I’m going out to check to make sure everyone is together.” Namjoon nodded in agreement, a smile still adorning his face as you pushed through the crowd as you made your way outside. 

A loud clap of thunder booming down making you jump with a whine as you covered your ears as you pressed forward through the harsh rain that dropped down like ice against your skin. It was freezing outside! Rubbing your arms you glanced around at the line of people as everyone gathered inside.

You could hear something abnormal but it was difficult to make out what it was between the rain pounding on the ground and the thunder that rumbled loudly, whining you covered your ears, feeling a headache come on as you pushed forward. Your senses were going wild, you could hear something. You knew you could. You just couldn’t figure out what. 

A loud clap of thunder roared causing you gasp, covering your ears as pain throbbed in your head, closing your eyes. You tried to tune out the noise but it only became heightened, “Help! Somebody please!” 

Your eyes snapped open as rain poured down, trying to relocate the sound before quickly following along the line of the crowd that was becoming shorter and shorter by the moment until you reached a little ways past the end, “Help! Please! Help!” You found an older wolf, a mother by the looks of it drenched in rain, looking frantic as you ran up to her, she grabbed your hands as she cried, “My pups! Please! She fell in the river nearby while we were waiting! My boy can’t keep her much longer!” 

You felt your heart burst- you should go get someone you can help! But…! There wasn’t enough time! “Lead the way!” You replied almost immediately. You’d just have to try your best for the sake of the young pup and the mother. She fumbled as she brought you down the steep hill, almost falling but catching yourself as your eyes caught the dimmed vision of a young boy crying out, “Mom! Mom! I can’t hold on any longer!” 

Not having the strength to keep up his little sister just as you were in reach of the crying girl his hand slipped, the heavy stream of water coursing causing her to immediately be washed away by the streams current. You could hear both the boy and mother scream before you did the stupidest thing in your life. 

Diving into the water coughed as your vision blurred with water and ran mixed, the water was ice cold and caused your teeth to immediately clack as you were rushed along, the little girl calling out with cries as her head bobbed up and down in the water.

“Hold on!” You called out coughing up water as you grabbed onto the log that was lodged in the river that the little girl managed to grab. Grabbing onto it you spat the river water that entered your mouth once more before managing to get closer to the little girl, her arms around your neck and you could hear her pitiful sobs as you held her. 

Your body was trembling and the whiplash of rain and the strong current was making your muscles weak as you tried to keep steady against the log, water continuously lashed against your face and rain in your eyes as you slowly but steadily used the log to guide you back to the land. Your muscles were ready to give out, not used to being used so much as you crawled onto the cold muddy ground. 

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” The mother was the first to run over immediately crying out over the loud rain, grabbing her sobbing daughter as she hugged her close, “We own you so much Luna! Thank you! Oh..! Luna?” You couldn’t muster a word, your body trembling and your vision spotting before everything went dark. 

…

Whining a little your head felt fuzzy and your muscles ached with every little movement. It took a moment before you forced your eyes open meeting the dark ceiling above, a few stalagmites hanging above you as brief confusion washed over your figure. Your body trembled a little as you heard a tongue clack, “You should be closer to the fire.” 

You groaned a little as you rubbed your head, your vision a little bleared as you rubbed your eyes before glancing up to the familiar voice of Namjoon who had just finished placing a fresh piece of firewood onto the small little fire that wasn’t too far from you, “C’mere my little omega.” He scooped you up effortlessly making you whine. 

You didn’t have any energy to objection though as Namjoon sat down, his back against the cave wall and now closer to the fire where your body was trembling as much, “You’re soaked to the bone,” He tutted, letting a hand press against your forehead before sighing, “You should’ve got someone to help you Y/n. You could’ve been killed diving into that water on your own.” 

You trembled once more, shifting a little in Namjoon’s grip before nudging your nose against his neck, the overwhelming scent of cedar and firewood relaxing your senses as you buried against your mate, “If I had gone to go get help that girl would’ve died.” You mumbled in weak objection against his neck, closing your eyes tiredly as you felt Namjoon’s hand begin to tenderly stroke through your hair, “Besides, I’m alive still, aren’t I?” 

You smiled weakly as you glanced up at Namjoon, he didn’t return the sentiment though, his eyes were a deep mahogany brown, piercing your gaze with his own and the fire reflecting and exaggerated his high cheekbones that much more.

“That doesn’t mean you will be in the future,” He growled, this time in a more stern voice causing your lips to quiver as they dropped, “Take somebody with you next time. I…” He sighed, his expression relaxing once more as he buried into your hair, “I couldn’t live with myself if you died and I just- I just let you. You’re my mate, I’m supposed to take care of you.” 

You frowned at his words, feeling somewhat conflicted. You had dreamt your whole life of being taken care of, of wanting someone to care, to comfort and coddle your every step. But...You didn’t have that sentiment growing up, and now actually having it…”But I’m okay. Namjoon,” You pulled away a little, your hair still damp and clinging to your face as you pushed it away, “I can take care of myself. I’ve had too my whole life.” 

You lowered your gaze a little as you tugged on a strand of your hair, “I...I know...that I’ve been a bit distant. And that we should already be mated by now. And I know that I haven’t been the easiest to get to know but, I just...I just need time, to get to know you, to become comfortable with the pack...I’ve been on my own for so long, it’s overwhelming in ways that it shouldn’t be.” 

You felt insecure about how you felt, truthfully. You should be grateful, you should be happy that you’ve somehow, against all odds, found your mate. That you should let him mate with you and get a move on with your new life. But it was difficult, in ways you felt like it shouldn’t be but it was hard getting used to such friendly smiles, to having your mate tenderly take care of you. Being called Luna, was rather overwhelming. 

“Y/n,” Namjoon sighed, his forehead resting on yours as his thumb rubbed against your cheek bone, “I’ve already told you we don’t have to be in a hurry. You can take as much time as you want to get used to the pack and we can take our time getting to know one another. I’ll be just as dedicated to you now as I will when we mate.” he nipped playfully at your neck making a smile tug on your lips, “But I will always be protective of you. That’s my instinctive nature.” 

You sighed in understanding, no matter how it made you feel, Namjoon was right. Mates were always protective, Alpha mates in particular, some more so than others. Even if Namjoon didn’t display it as often as others it was still there. 

You closed your eyes as you curled up against him, letting his fingers continue to untangle your hair in little strokes, a few pecks against your head here and there, “Have you been told why we’re here at the Northern Mountains?” You perked up a little with a yawn as you glanced up at Namjoon in confusion, a smile on his face as he brushed the hair away from your face, “We’re visiting Arestella, to see the Royal family. The Prince summoned us not long ago” 

Your lips parted a little as you tilted your head, “The Jeon Dynasty?” They were considered one of the kindest Dynasties to rule over Arestella for centuries- that was of course if you ignored the current king who outlawed magick and had sentenced the Witch Hunt to begin. But that was nearly fifty years ago now. Otherwise they had a fairly peaceful rule, it wasn’t too big of a surprise to you that their Crowned Prince signed an ally treaty with Namjoon. But still, to actually be here with Namjoon and him saying you’d be going to the Kingdom of Vampires, it was all a bit surreal.

Namjoon’s smile widened as he nodded, “Yes, me and the Prince- Jungkook have some business to attend. Apparently there's been a massive stir in demonic energy. There've been a lot of rumored Demon sightings that’s caused fright among Arestella’s outer villages.” 

You frowned as you pressed your lips together, hesitating for a moment as you rubbed the back of your neck, “Demons? Are they really real?” You felt somewhat hesitant to ask. You mind going back to when you last attempted to escape your pack. Those magenta eyes and silver hair, they were almost otherworldly...and the way they just...disappeared into thin air...

Namjoon offered you a weak smile as he shrugged, “I think so, I don’t know about the Prince’s involvement with demon’s but if he believes they’re real then I’d be willing to bet they are. He has ties in all sorts of different affairs. Demonic energy doesn’t always equate demons though, sometimes it’s just been plagued by Witches for a long time.” 

You hummed in response. You could see where witches could build demonic energy- not that you necessarily believed all witches were bad. People liked to fear monger and point fingers and be done with it. But things were rarely that simple in life. You still felt bad for all the witches that died during the Witch Hunt, a dark period in time just in the passing of Magicks outlaw. 

“I guess we’ll see when we arrive.” You mumbled as you let your head rest in the crook of Namjoon’s neck, his arms wrapping around you as he held you close. 

“Soon enough my little omega.” There it was again, that giddy little smile on your face as you sighed in contentment. Life wasn’t all too bad, even in it’s less fine moments.

The journey to Arestella had been peaceful, the weather had become gradually colder with each passing day and soon frost would be covering the ground and nights would become freezing without fire. This however, wasn’t a big deal for wolves as you had been custom to this for some time. When the air was colder the pack would shift and the fur of your animal counterpart kept you warm.

The one thing you were still struggling with was all the respect everyone gave to you. You felt yourself fumbling at times due to how friendly and kind everyone was. At first, you wondered if it was just because you were mates with the Alpha. It wasn’t the first you had seen everyone give special treatment to a Luna. 

Your eyes would warily watch over the other Omega’s in the pack who all appeared happy, anytime one was struggling a Beta was practically bouncing over to assist whenever needed. Things seemed so contrary to how you lived your life. Even now in such a spacious tent where the heat of the fire licked in the air where you settled against the small cot in contentment. 

Nudging against the pillow as you sighed, Namjoon and Jackson the head Beta had been talking about taking an alternate route to Arestella over the past few days which had lead to him not joining you until later. 

Hearing the soft crunch of leaves had your head perking and you could almost feel your inner wolf’s tail thwacking harshly as you curled up, the flap of the tent opening to see Namjoon’s- happy but obviously tired expression, “Happy to see me pup?” He teased lightly as you grabbed the stiff pillow to nudge against it to hide your smile. 

You were shameless in watching him pull the billowing shirt over his head to reveal the taunt thick muscles of his back to your view, your legs pressing together as you pulled the fur blanket over your chin, “How was the meeting?” You asked as Namjoon rolled his neck before taking a seat in bed, his hand resting against your head as he softly stroked your hair. 

“Good,” He hummed before laying down facing you, a soft smile tugging on his lips as he let his fingers curl around a strand, “We received a pigeon from the Sisterhood today.” You raised your brows a little in curiosity. 

The Sisterhood? You had heard of them of course, anyone who hadn’t was obviously living under a rock, or a century old witch perhaps, Namjoon chuckled a little at your expression as his hand met with your cheek once more, “We work in accord with them much like many other packs. We share the land with them and it only makes sense.” 

“Well yes,” You replied, it certainly wasn’t unheard of for the Sisterhood and wolves to work together, even your pack had assistance given to them by the Sisterhood from time to time, “But I didn’t realize you were that chummy with one another.” You snorted as you raised a brow. 

Namjoon clacked his tongue, his thumb stroking along your cheekbone making you shuffle closer to his warm body, “You know the story of how wolves came to be, yes?” 

“...Well...I’ve heard a few different variations.” You replied with a shrug, nearly every wolf knew a tale of how your species came to be but they widely varied. Your now curious as to what this had to do with the Sisterhood’s involvement. 

Namjoon gave a knowing smile as he replied, “It’s been passed down between generations of my family that a very long time ago, when the Moon was still young she- for the first time heard a prayer. It was of a young boy who had been attacked by our counterpart, wolves,” 

Namjoon tenderly pushed the strand of hair behind you as he spoke, “The young boy was crying and he bled beyond saving. As the life force left his body and he took his last breath beneath the full moon, pitied, the Moon Goddess took mercy on him and blessed him. Her powers only reigned so far, and so she turned him into a wolf. The Moon Goddess told the boy that once his wounds would heal he would be safe to return to human. But now he must bear the dual nature of both animal and human.”  

“When the rumors began to fester, the men of the villages nearby wanted to hunt the monster,” Namjoon hummed his fingers tracing down to your jawline, “The boy’s lover however, discovered who he was and pleaded with the men of the village. When they would not listen, the girl was sent a blessing by the Moon Goddess. The Bow of Lux. It became clear to her that if they would not listen to her, she would make them listen,” 

Namjoon gave a wry smile as he continued, “When the last man perished, the girl swore her life to the Moon Goddess and would continue to protect those who lived inside the forest and those who lived outside. The Moon Goddess, pleased, allowed her to form the Sisterhood and once she passed on, they say her soul turned to stardust and became Orion’s bow.” 

You perked a little as you smiled, “Is that why the women in the Sisterhood are only allowed to be addressed by celestial names to outsiders?” You had never heard that part of the story! It sounded so…! So forlorn yet, meant to be. Divine even. Namjoon chuckled as he patted your head, “Perhaps, that’s one of many theories. Orion is the patron of the Sisterhood, the first to protect. They pray to her for strength before they go into battle. My point however,” Namjoon tutted a little, his eyes crinkling in adoration, “Is that no matter what tale is being told, the wolves and the Sisterhood go hand in hand. We protect and work with one another when needed.” 

“Then what did the Sisterhood want?” You whined a little, impatient at Namjoon’s wordiness, he tapped your neck in gentle scold as you wiggled closer to him, his arm finally wrapping around you as he curved a brow. 

Clacking his tongue he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against your forehead, “Don’t be pushy pup,” You could hear the playful scold in his tone, “It was sent by one of the independent scouts; Vega. She asked that we keep our eyes out for a witch that lives in the North.” 

You frowned as you asked, “A witch? What could she want with a witch?” 

Namjoon shrugged, his fingers tracing against your hip as he replied, “I can’t say for sure. All I know is she wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important. I know requesting Arestella to find a witch would probably get her hanged.” 

“Are Vampires really that fickle?” You raised your brows, unable to stop the snort, you had never seen a Vampire before but you had heard about them plenty and how proud they were. You didn’t understand why the reigning king banned Magick as it was, especially when it seemed as if their society relied on it previously. 

Namjoon also scoffed out an amused laugh, “You’d be surprised. Nobody follows the rules more than the own royal court. The Mad King makes sure of it. Anyone caught using magick is either hanged or burned. Even the court is not excluded.” You shivered a little at the thought. 

“And will you keep an eye out then?” You asked, you supposed since Blood Moon was nomadic like any other pack, Arestella couldn’t hold you accountable for the laws of their lands. But it made you worried. 

Namjoon closed his eyes solemnly, “I will, I’d never turn my back on the Sisterhood. Furthermore, the Prince doesn’t know all of my affairs. If it doesn’t concern our relationship then he doesn’t need to know.” He finally pulled you against him as you squeaked a little, your nose immediately nudging against his neck as you coiled against him, “You’ve been awfully curious tonight pup.” He whispered in your ear. 

A smile tugged on your lips as you inhaled his scent slowly, you could almost vividly smell the crackle of burnt wood against his skin, the kerosene he had split earlier while helping build a fire, a whine suddenly escaping your lips as you felt heat pooling between your legs. Your face throbbing as you embarrassingly pushed against his neck to hide yourself. 

This had been happening a lot, putting off your consummation had taken a toll on your body, constantly making you become aroused when you became too close to your mate for too long. The need to be filled with him was a constant ache, as if sensing that Namjoon let out an instinctive growl, his thigh suddenly forcing its way between your legs as he whispered in your ear once more, “I can smell how wet you are little one.” 

Your face throbbed even harder as your hips began rubbing into his thigh in search of friction you needed, desperately. Namjoon and you both had agreed taking things slow was for the best….But that certainly hadn’t stopped him or you from testing the waters a little…

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you whined against, letting your hips drag against his warm thick thigh as your clit pressed gently against his skin, the pleasure nearly sent you pathetically howling against his skin, “This isn’t fair!” You whimpered, your thighs shaking and your panties becoming stickier within seconds. 

Namjoon’s laugh was deeper this time, as if amused at how frantic his little omega was, “Then take what you deserve my little pup.” He nipped against your ear as you jumped, his hands grabbing your waist as he rolled unto his back, forcing your to straddle him as your lips quivered into a pout. 

Your clit was throbbing though and seeing how inviting his thighs looked was an opportunity you couldn’t pass up, shifting to place yourself against one as you whined a little, unable to stare directly at him as your hips wiggled in need against his thigh. Pleasure swelled in your body and a muffled whine escaped you before you jumped at the sound of leaves crunching. 

Namjoon instinctively sat up as you curled against him, not a second later hearing the sound of footsteps as a voice called out, “Namjoon, I need just one more thing.” Jackson called out as you crumpled against your mate.

You felt embarrassed at letting your hormones get the best of you. Namjoon as if sensing this gently stroked a hand through your hair before pressing a kiss against your head, “Don’t look so disappointed, we can always try again later.” 

Your lips quivered into a scowl as you pouted, flopping against the bed as Namjoon chuckled before calling out, “I’ll be out in a moment.” It was just as well Jackson had interrupted when he had. Who would’ve known what that would spiral into if you had been left alone.

“You look wide eyed.” Namjoon chuckled as he watched you circle around yourself, lips gaping as you glanced around in curiosity. There were so many sights and sounds it was hard to take it all in at once, “C’mere my pup, I don’t want you getting lost.” He grabbed your hand attentively as he pulled you along. 

The journey to Arestella had taken another day and a half but you did eventually arrive and you were in near awe at the sight. You had never been in a Kingdom before, much less the grand jewel of the realm. You could smell the hefty scent of fresh baked loathes from the few humans that dared to reside in the realm of Vampires. 

Today was a beautiful day, apparently Arestella wasn’t known to be the sunniest Kingdom but today seemed to be different, the sky was a brilliant azure blue with fluffy billowing clouds to compliment it’s sky and the breeze was cool against the day’s warm air, “I’ve never been somewhere so...crowded.” You managed to say as you squeezed past a group of people, staying particularly close to Namjoon as you glanced around wide eyed. 

“There’s much excitement to see,” Namjoon chuckled, “If you think this is incredible, wait until we see the castle. That’s where we’ll be staying the next few days. Jackson will keep everyone settled in the outskirts of town meanwhile.”  

You couldn’t deny you were excited, you could see the gothic castle even from here despite it being so far away. The day was busy and everyone was bustling but if there was one thing you noticed...It was a lack of color...or thereof…What color there was seemed very organized, as if these people were all in groups. And then occasionally you’d spot a bright pop of red of some of the people you passed, “Why is everyone dressed so...dark…” You frowned as you kept close to your mate. 

“They have a very strict system here in Arestella, they use colors to keep classes separated. It’s mostly in jewelry you’ll see it. Humans must wear red in some form as it’s stated by law if they live in Arestella. Blue is often a color worn by wealthy families, a multiple array of colors can be worn by the average vampire. I’m not very familiar with how it all works though. Vampires have their own class system like us wolves have though.” Namjoon explained as he guided you through the crowd as you curiously looked around.

You felt a smile tug on your lips as you glanced around, excitedly spotting another patch of red on a young girls neck, she appeared around your age and she- unlike you- seemed used to the large crowds of people, yet oddly enough despite being surrounded by vampires she didn’t look the least scared, “How can humans live here despite knowing a vampires nature? I think we don’t give them enough credit sometimes.” You commented as you let your eyes focus ahead. 

“Most likely because humans here use sigils to keep them protected from feral vampires,” Namjoon snorted, looking somewhat amused at how fascinated you seemed by this strange new world, “They live quite peacefully. Vampires are a bit proud though, they don’t like admitting that they do need humans to survive. No matter how much they can argue that they can feast on turned vampires, they still need humans for that to happen.” 

You hummed in curiosity before laughing a little, noticing the mild annoyance in Namjoon’s tone as he glanced ahead, a hint of smile on his face when he heard you as you both walked hand in hand. Eventually you did make it up to the castle together. 

You had never seen anything like it, the way the dark brick walls towered high above your head and the wings of the castle stood large and proud. Even though the courtyard was filled with lush flowers and benches for rest, it looked like something straight out of a fairytale. You didn’t understand how guards and maids could walk by without so much as a glance at the beautiful scenery. 

Namjoon tugged you along as your lips parted, the castle doors opening upon your arrival and you were greeted by a smiling maid that curtsied to you both immediately guiding you up several flights of stairs, the corridors were long but you couldn’t help but focus on the beautiful marble flooring.

The way the original white swirled with black and greys and speckled gold with even some peacock blue highlighting. Or the doors and the Jeon’s symbol painted in silver on each door, or the way the handles reflected their polished shine against the light that flooded in rays of gold through the windows. 

You had never been somewhere so refined. All you had ever known was the wild untamed beauty of nature, mountains and thickets of evergreen and streams that clashed with marshes. Sleeping out in the woods were galaxies formed in the sky, where you could even see speckles of stardust in the sky. You didn’t realize two things could be so different, yet so beautiful in their own way. 

“Here you are Sir Kim! His royal Highness will be with you in a moment!” She curtsied once more before shutting the doors of the room. The room was spacious and wide, it appeared to be...an office of some sort? Your brows furrowed a little as you walked in, the fireplace was not lit up but there were four chairs, two on either side of a rug that was placed in front of it. 

Then there was the desk on the far end of the room next to a large window that overlooked the woods near the castle. 

On the other end of the room was an assortment of trinkets of...personal achievements maybe? You perked at the sound of footsteps padding down the hallway gently, “There’s something wrong…!” Your brows furrowed and your head tilted like a puppy at the sound of a soft feminine voice, they must’ve been at the far end of the hallway, walking closer to the door you tried to listen better. 

“Shh, worry not my love. I’ll deal with it. Right now you should be attending your lessons. I promise nothing will happen.” The other voice was deep yet soft, alluring in dulcet quiet manner, yet seemed attentive and in demand for everyone's attention, “I’ll discuss everything with Blood Moon’s leader.” 

You could hear a faint sigh, “Please Jungkook...I...I don’t know what I’d do if this turns out to be true.” You felt your face immediately burn in embarrassment. 

You just eavesdropped on the Vampiric Prince’s private conversation with his mate! 

You whirled away from the door as you fumbled to sit down next to Namjoon who looked at you curiously, “Heard something you shouldn’t have?” You scowled at his teasing words as you crossed your arms. Namjoon had been scolding you recently on your nosey habit of using your one good ability to your advantage far too often. 

The door opened quietly as your gaze immediately followed the noise. You were met with a tall man, who just like everyone else in Arestella was undoubtedly beautiful, but even then. Prince Jungkook seemed unnaturally beautiful, his dark raven hair contrasting heavily against his glossed pristine pale skin, his hair hung low on his face and one side tucked behind his ear giving him an oddly regal look. 

A smile graced his lips as he bowed while you and Namjoon stood up, “It’s good to see you again Namjoon,” His voice, confirmed the same dulcet tone you heard in the hallway before his eyes turned to look at you, they were a deep burgundy red not at all the bright red that Namjoon’s eyes usually glowed, “You must be his new mate. You have my congratulations.” 

You gave an awkward smile, feeling your face heat up at someone so beautiful staring directly into your soul as you fumbled with your fingers, a noise escaping you that made you all the more embarrassed as you hid somewhat behind your mate, “She’s a little shy,” Namjoon smiled endearingly down at you, a hand affectionately combing through your hair as you glared with a pout at the ground, “This is Y/n, my mate. You may call her Luna. She’s just here to observe today in case she needs to come in my place in the future.” 

Jungkook nodded before taking a seat across from you both as you sat down once more, “Then let’s start. We’ve been getting a heavy influx of demonic energy on the south side of Incúrsio. I’m aware you’ve had some tension with them in the past but it’s different this time. Despite the Ceremony’s passing they’re experiencing mass hysteria saying it’s the end of the world. After doing a little bit of poking…” Jungkook sighed, shutting his eyes as you sensed a vague annoyance fill him, “I found out there’s a reason why.” 

Namjoon tilted his head in observation, you had never seen his expression so quizzical before but then again you had never seen Namjoon in such an important meeting, “And that is?” 

“A...friend,” Jungkook offered a weak smile, “Has told me there’s been a bit of, descent in the underworld if you will...One of the Prince’s of Hell, in his words was: ‘Throwing a tantrum’ and to ‘not worry about it’,” Jungkook looked semi exasperated as you furrowed your brows, “But despite his words we’ve been getting reported demon sightings and if a portal to Hell has been weakened for any demon strong enough to push through the traversing barrier we’re going to have a problem. He said he’d take care of it but...I have some doubt.” Jungkook sighed. 

Namjoon frowned as he rested his chin against his head, “So what do you want Blood Moon to do about it?” 

“I want you to keep an eye out of any demonic energy, I know you’re a nomadic group and you travel all over the realm...Said friend, assumes it’s only the portal in Incúrsio but...Given the reports I’ve received from other royal officials in other Kingdoms, it doesn’t seem like it. And please, ignore the people of Incuriso should you go back to your homestead meanwhile. They’re unwell right now and cannot think straight.” Jungkook answered, his gaze looking out the window into the wilderness were the tree’s swaying with the wind delicately. 

“We’ll do what we can, but if Incúrsio tries to attack my people. I can’t make any promises Jungkook.” Namjoon hummed as he leaned back in his seat, “But I will do what I can to defuse the situation should it arise. Is that all?” 

“For now,” Jungkook replied, fixing the cuff of his sleeve before glancing back up, “But you’re staying the next few days for a reason. Please make yourselves comfortable in the palace. I expect to see you both at dinner.” You nodded as you and Namjoon stood up making your way for the door, “Luna,” 

You paused at the deep voice of Jungkook as he called out, “A word please?” You glanced at Namjoon as you frowned, he gave a small smile encouragingly, stroking your hair once before exiting the room, closing the door behind him as you timidly turned around. Something about the Vampiric Prince put you on guard, though you were positive it was simply due to just how intimidatingly attractive him and his kin were. 

You got an oddly seductive, yet dangerous energy from any vampire you had came into contact with since arriving to Arestella, Jungkook wasn’t an exception, “Please, don’t look so timid,” Jungkook offered a gentle smile as he folded his hands as if to appear non threatening, “I just wanted to speak to you for a moment. Much like my own mate, everyone has been awaiting Namjoon to find his other half. I wish you the best of luck on becoming Blood Moon’s Luna.” 

He stood up, elegantly walking up to you, eyes dark like pools of the blood yet there was nothing dangerous or malicious about them, “If you’re ever in need of a place to stay Arestella’s doors will always be open to you. My kingdom would be happy to serve Blood Moon’s Luna in any need or situation. I hope you enjoy your stay here.” 

Tugging on a strand of your hair you managed a tiny smile as you glanced up at him, “Thank you, it’s appreciated.” 

To that Jungkook offered a dazzling smile that showed off the sharp teeth of his fangs, his smile could put nearly anyone to shame as he chuckled, walking to his desk as he hummed, “You should meet my mate while you’re here. I feel like you’d both get along rather well. And she’s often lonely these days. The court,” You could see the dismay in Jungkook’s eyes as he stood in front of the large window by his desk, “They aren’t accepting of commoners like her. She doesn’t like to worry me but I can tell she struggles by herself when I’m unable to keep her company. She could use a friend to confide in.” 

You swallowed thickly as you managed a smile, nodding, “Of course! I’ll make sure to introduce myself if I get a chance.” It felt like an incredible honor to have the crowned Prince of Arestella ask if you could keep his mate company but you’d try your best. 

You just didn’t know who she was outside of the news you had heard. Despite being in isolation word eventually made its way to your pack that the Vampiric Prince had found his mate, but not only his mate, but a commoner at that. 

Many in your pack sneered at that and often laughed, someone of low ranking suddenly becoming the mate of someone powerful? Unheard of. 

You felt a vague sense of empathy, you were in the same position as the Princess at one time. Except your new pack were very accepting of you...You supposed the same could not be said for the future Princess of Arestella, you couldn’t imagine how snide the Court must’ve truly been. 

“I’ll see you later then.” Jungkook offered you one last small smile before you left his office, closing the door gently before you noticed Namjoon waiting down the hallway, his eyes set on the artwork that displayed on the walls. 

“Finished?” Namjoon hummed as he glanced over to you, a hand falling to your head to pat it as you pouted a little as you nodded, “Then come along, they prepared lunch for us. What did Jungkook want to talk to you about?” 

You tilted your head, his tone rather strange. It sounded as if he was trying to come off relaxed but there was a tense note in his delivery. But then it struck you, most werewolves were naturally jealous of their mate associating with the opposite sex, alpha’s no doubt. 

You felt a teasing smile tug on your lips as you snickered, “Nothing, he just wanted to ask if I could speak to his mate, to become friends with her. Despite having similar class systems, it seems the court is rather….Icy about her becoming one of them.” 

“That’s not too big of a surprise,” Namjoon wrapped an arm around you, keeping you snug against him as he continued, “Royal court is always filled with people who look down their noses at one another. Civilization is an odd sort but they make it work. I’m sure his mate does feel lonely. I’d hate to be a commoner entering the court. Many are wolves disguised as sheep.” 

You tilted your head in thought, that was often an analogy humans used to describe people who pretended to be innocent when they were truly guilty. You supposed you could see what he meant by his words despite feeling as though wolves really weren’t all that bad, “It’s just odd. I can’t imagine being in that position.” 

“Well the good news is that you aren’t.” Namjoon pressed a kiss against the top of your head making you smile as you wrapped your arms around his waist, nudging his arm a little, a silent ask for affection, “And we don’t have to deal with any kind of courts fickle business.” 

Namjoon immediately complied, his hands stroking your sides as you paused in your spot, preening at his pet against your skin and the way his lips peppered against your cheeks, “You look like a little pup my omega.” He whispered, a small smirk on his face as he nipped the tip of your nose, “Always whining and begging for affection, always greedy for more.” 

You stretched your neck a little at the feeling of his nose rubbing against your neck, a surprised whine escaping you at the feeling of his scent gland suddenly knocking against you, “You smell like vampire.” Namjoon growled against your ear, a whine escaping you as you tugged on his loose button up shirt, “When you should smell like me instead.” 

He nipped your ear in warning to be quiet as he rubbed his scent gland along your neck. It was in your nature to be obedient, standing completely still as you allowed Namjoon to continue to scent you. Often a gesture done right before mating or simply a display of dominance. 

“Are you wet little omega?” Namjoon growled in your ear quietly making a pathetic whimper escape you, your thighs squeezing together as you lowered your gaze in embarrassment. Of course he could smell your heady scent, “Do you like being reminded of who you belong to?” 

His voice was deep and murmured in your ear causing you to tug on his shirt as he rubbed his scent gland one last time on your neck, “Come on, let’s get lunch. I’m sure you’re starving.” Your lips parted in almost offense at the way Namjoon suddenly pulled away, obviously satisfied with his work as you now were drenched in his scent and panties dripping wet. 

“What?” Namjoon tilted his head innocently but you could see that evil glint in his eyes that enjoyed watching you squirm as you glared at him, pulling away from him with a pout as you crossed your arms, “Don’t act like you don’t enjoy it.” Namjoon lovingly stroked your hair as he kept his arm loose around you as you began walking once more. 

This man was going to be the absolute death of you.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” The flecks of concern were apparent in Namjoon’s eyes as he frowned, sitting up in bed as he was preparing to attend another meeting with the Prince and his order of knights. His hand gently resting on your head, thumb soothingly swiping over your warm skin as you nodded, yawning a little as you tried curling closer to his body. 

You looked rather pitiful truthfully, stretching your arms out to him as a verbal whine escaped you, wanting his affection once more as he smiled endearingly, “Sorry little omega,” Namjoon cooed as he brushed your hair from your eyes, “I have to attend this meeting. I’ll come back once it’s finished and then we can stay in bed for as long as you’d like.” 

Your body trembled a little, a bead of sweat beginning to trickle down your forehead as you whined again, “Do you really have to go?” You mumbled, your head laying in his lap as his fingers tenderly stroked through your hair lovingly. You weren’t sure what it was but you had woken up in the middle of the night feeling hot and you had since been clinging to Namjoon. All you did know was you felt much needier than normal for affection. 

You didn’t want your mate to leave. 

“It sounds pretty important,” Namjoon leaned down to press a kiss on your forehead before frowning, “You’re burning up. I knew that cold rain was going to catch up to you.” He sighed with a tut as you offered a weak smile, letting your arms wrap around his waist as he shifted in his seat, “I’ll send a maid to make sure you’re taken care of while I’m gone. Now c’mon on little omega, I need to go before I’m late.” 

You let out a louder whine, the innate need for your alpha to be by your side running through your veins as you curled against him. You could feel sweat dripping down your collar bones as you nudged your nose against his stomach. 

Namjoon looked a little guilty as he pried your hands off him, tears welling in your eyes as you whined again curling up in bed as your body trembled once more, “Shhh, I’ll be back sweetheart. Hopefully your fever will have gone down a little by the time I do.” 

Namjoon let go of your figure as you weakly cried out, collapsing against your pillow as you whimpered unable to speak at the way your wolf was crying out in desperation for your mate to not leave you. The door closed gently as your body continuously began to tremble and with shaky hands you tied up your hair as you began shedding your clothes. 

You were so hot. Another whine escaped you as you laid down back in bed, a violent tremor sounding through your body and your muscles were beginning to lock and clench as you groaned. A few minutes later a knock gently sounded at the door before a maid appeared inside. 

She gave you a sympathetic smile, “The Alpha told me what was going on, I have some cool rags to help with the fever miss, we’ve sent a maid to get you a tonic to help cool you off.” She explained gently as she kneeled down, bless her heart as she gently placed the cool cloth over your forehead as you tried to suppress the whine from your lips. 

Your wolf was just about as pathetic as you right now, howling and crying at her mate leaving her. The rag was quickly to dry up as the maid gently patted your collarbones down as she frowned, “You feel much hotter than most with a fever, are you sure you don’t have any other ailments?”

Your lips trembled for a moment as you thought about it. Abruptly you stiffened as your thighs clenched together, the sticky feeling of arousal making another whimper force its way out of your lips, “I’-I’m okay! It’s um….It’s just a...wolf thing…” You forced a smile as you clenched your thighs together, the maid frowned not understanding your words before she sighed, “Very well, but don’t hesitate to call if you need anything.” You nodded rapidly, trying to ignore the itch to let your hands furiously get to work.

You groaned as the door shut, trying to squeeze your thighs shut as if it would make it any better. Most humans and vampires alike may have derived the word Mate from werewolves but...your nature was still a mystery to them. Your long delayed heat included.

Your body had been in survival mode for so long that your heat hadn’t come in a long time, you never expected for it to come so early. No wonder you had felt so needy for your mates attention. 

A whine escaped you once more as you flopped on your stomach, burying into the mattress before your hips immediately began rubbing into the bed in desperate need of friction, heat was suffocating you and pain was beginning to well in your lower body. 

Omegas were truly the worst off with monthly heats whereas Beta’s only experienced them every three months and once every six months for Alpha’s. Over all being an omega truly was miserable. You had forgotten all about your heat after your body kicked into survival mode causing you to miss. 

It made sense for it’s return though, you had met your mate, you not only were safe but you were taken care of and pampered. Your heat suddenly showering up was like your body telling you it was time to get pregnant. Your thighs began trembling at the idea of your mate, your alpha mounting you and filling you with his big knot. 

You buried your face into the pillow as you whined, it didn’t matter how pathetically you humped the bed it wasn’t a replacement for what you craved. What your body needed and why arousal was seeping from your tiny hole and walls that squeezed around nothing at the idea of your alpha’s cock filling you up to breed you. 

Just the idea of Namjoon’s scent was making you nearly delirious as your hips desperately rocked into the mattress once more, the strength of your heat intensifying with each moment before all you could do was tremble and whine against the bed, desperately looking for anything to help the pain. The mattress, the pillows, your fingers, anything. 

Two hours. 

That was how long Namjoon’s meeting took. Two hours before your ears perked up at the sound of the familiar footsteps, your wolf's tail was practically flying back and forth and crying out in need. Another wave of heat filtered through your body making sweat drip down your neck as you shakily sat up. The door quietly opened as Namjoon walked in, locking it behind him before he turned to face you. 

His expression turned to sympathy that had you whining and whimpering, too weak to stand up but if you could you’d already be climbing up his tall figure, “Oh my little omega,” His voice was deeper than usual, a growl vibrating in his chest causing arousal to slide down your thighs as he slowly approached, “I could smell you all the way from the staircase.” 

Your thighs felt weak at the way he stood in front of the bed looking down at you dauntingly as you fumbled against the bed, “Alpha,” You whined, lowering your gaze subserviently as you stumbled against the sheets, getting on all fours before presenting yourself for him your thighs shaky and pain coursing through you as you whimpered, “Please. Alpha it hurts.” 

“Does it hurt omega?” Namjoon’s voice was growled and dominance seeped in his tone as you flinched at the feeling of his hand resting on the swell of your ass, “Do you need your alpha to stuff you full of his knot?” You jump with a cry at his hand slamming against your ass with a sting, tears pricking at your eyes as your hips impatiently backed against him. 

A snarled growl left his lips as your cunt was met with the thick length of his cock hardened in his pants before his hands roughly grabbed your hips, “Be patient little omega,” His hands gripped your hips harshly and the smell of his scent wafting through the room was making you light headed as another drop of arousal seeped from your needy cunt, “Do you need your alpha to fill you? Do you need my pups little one? Do you need to be bred like a good little bitch?” 

It was taking every ounce of energy to not needily drag yourself against his hips as you cried out with a frustrated whine, “Please alpha! Please! I’ll be a good mommy! I’ll take care of our pups! Please.” You needed to be filled with his cum. 

Namjoon was filled with both arousal and his primal instincts running wild at the sight of you so subservient and pliable in his hands, your smell was thick and heady in the air causing a growl to escape his lips again, “Oh will you?” Namjoon growled softly, his cock throbbing his pants as his hands stroked against your soft ass, his hand dragging down before cupping you’re wet cunt as you whined.

Your toes curled as your hips began to frantically grind against his fingers, “Ah-ah! Alpha...!” Namjoon tutted, gripping your hips with his free hand as you whimpered against the sheets, your eyes filling with tears at the way your body burned and yet your mate was still teasing you, “You need to be patient little one.” Namjoon growled with a tease in his tone, his long slim fingers dragging against your wet folds as you whined, your back arching once more to try and coax him to give you what you wanted.

Instead his fingers only dragged down to meet your tender swollen clit, a cry escaping your lips as your walls clenched around nothing but air, “You’re so wet my little omega, do you need your alpha’s cock inside you,” Namjoon moaned his fingers circling and pressing against your sensitive sensitive bud as his eyes became lidded with desire watching the way you pitifully jolted and jerked to stay still for him.

Your muscles tensed before your hips began rubbing against his fingers, “What did I say?” Namjoon let out a low growl making you whine once more. His hand was not so light anymore as he struck your ass making you whimper before obediently stilling for him once more to do whatever he pleased.

His fingers dragged up your folds before you squeaked against the mattress as his finger pushing slowly into you, a second finger slid in with just as much ease due to your excessive arousal as you whimpered, “Alpha! Please! I need it! I need it please!” You begged with a sob as his fingers began jamming against your g-spot, your walls squeezing around him impossibly tight as your lips parted and your eyes snapped shut. This wasn’t at all a replacement for what you needed but it still felt amazing. You just needed more.

“You’re squeezing around me so tight little omega,” Namjoon cooed mockingly, you could practically hear the smirk on his face as his fingers began giving little thrusts as you felt drool dribbling against your chin, “How much do you need my cock bitch?” He growled, grabbing your hair as he yanked it, a gurgled cry escaped you as he pushed his fingers inside you once more. 

Your hips unable to stay still anymore immediately began fucking yourself against him as you moaned and whined, his finger pads dragging along that little spongy spot as you gurgled, “Please! Alpha!” You could hardy formulate words as tears dropped down your face pleasure was twisting in your body yet it still wasn’t enough. 

Namjoon let go of your hair to dive between your legs, his fingers dragging along your clit making you nearly cry out at the way your walls clenched around his fingers and the orgasm flooding through you. Your lips were parted and frantic cries escapes you as you rutted messily against his fingers, “Alpha!” Your cries were pathetic as the burning in your body only strengthened at the realization there wasn’t a knot filling your cunt.

Namjoon clacked his tongue at the sound of your pitiful sobs, your walls unbearably tight around his fingers and your hips attempted to back against him as he pulled them out of you, “My pretty omega,” He cooed softly, “Are you gonna be a good girl and let me fill your little cunt with my pups?”

His hands stroked against your sides as your legs violently shook while frantically nodding, “I’ll be a good mommy! Alpha please! Please! Need your knot! Please!” Your back arched harshly as you presented your cunt for him, desperately hoping he’d give you what your body was crying for.

Your head was becoming foggy and the need for something, anything to fill you with a knot became your number one need. Namjoon as if sensing you couldn’t take anymore teasing began to undone the knot of his pants, “You’ll be a good little bitch and carry my pups? You’ll let your alpha breed you like a good girl.” Namjoon let out a soft moan, his eyes closing as his cock sprung free, bobbing in the air in search for your cunt as his hands dragged against your waist, roughly petting down your sides as you whined at his praise. 

Your body tensed and swelled with excitement as you squeezed your eyes shut at the feeling of his thick bulbous tip dragging along your wet slit as another deep growl left him, “Be a good girl and stay still.” You were whining against the sheets as his bulbous tip pushed inside you, the pain hardly even there as your heat had caused you to become dripping. Unlike humans you were made to be pounded into. 

“Alpha! Alpha please!” You whined, your eyes shut tightly as you strangled a mewl while keeping your body obediently still. You could hear a low growled moan from Namjoon as he pushed his cock further inside you, your cunt eagerly letting him slide in further.

“Mmm so tight,” He leaned down as he growled against your ear making you squeak as your walls tightened around him, “My little omega likes presenting her cunt doesn’t she? Does she like to be fucked hard and knotted?” You didn’t get the chance to answer before Namjoon’s hips were slamming into you, his cock fixing the ache of your cunt as you moaned embarrassingly loud as your face pressed against the mattress.

Pleasure was immediate as you cried out, moans escaping you as your walls needily clenched around his cock, “Alpha!” You whined before squealing against the mattress at the feeling of his long fingers pressing into your tender swollen clit. You whimpered as pleasure welled hotly inside you, your body needy for him after denying your consummation for so long. Your body was being lurched with every powerful thrust of Namjoon as he growled, “That’s it omega, milk your Alpha’s cock, mmm that’s it. You want your alpha’s knot don’t you?” 

“Yes please! Please! I’ll be a good girl.” You whined not having the energy to do anything but stay obediently in place as his massive cock continued splitting your cunt with every thrust, just feeling his thick length was causing your head to spin and your pleasure spiking as you mewled, “Alpha y-your so big…! Alpha please.” 

Your hips kept trying to buck into him causing a low snarl to escape him, Namjoon sounded nearly primal compared to his gentle level headed manners, hand large hands tightly gripping your hips and forcing them still as you whined in impatience your body craved his knot badly but you had heard Alpha’s don’t knot as quick as Beta’s.

“Be patience bitch.” Namjoon growled, his hands would certainly leave bruises later as his hips slammed into you to sate your needy cunt, he growled in pleasure at feeling your tiny walls trap his throbbing cock, “Gonna have my pups, fill your cunt up until your tummy is filled with my pups.” You whined as your body jolted, walls clenching harshly at his cock roughly sliding in and out of you, your heat craving his knot as your thighs trembled in anticipation.

“Please alpha! Please! I’ll be a good mommy.” You whined and whimpered, your back aching from it’s uncomfortable arch but your ass perking, wanting the perfect angle for his knot. Namjoon’s fingers roughly rubbed into your clit only making your walls that much tighter as his hips snapped harshly into yours, his chest pressing into your back as he growled into your ear, “That’s right little omega you’re going to have my pups. Mine.” 

Your thighs were beginning to tremble at the feeling of his base swelling, “You’re going to be an obedient bitch and take my knot.” He snapped, his hand tangling into your hair to yank it only to shove your face into the soft mattress as his hips rammed into you at an unnatural speed.

Your moans and cries were muffled as your walls began to rapidly convulse, the feeling of his thick fat cock ramming into your tiny walls, his fingers rubbing roughly into your clit. His rough manhandling. You were like a howling pup when your orgasm snapped in your body, whines and whimpers escaping you as Namjoon growled, his scent was overwhelming and he leaned down snapping his hips as he continued rutting into you, his fangs dragging over your neck before he sunk them deep into your neck. 

A loud whimper escaped you, your cunt clenching around him harder as all of your sense overwhelmed you, you couldn’t smell anything but firewood and cedar, his cock only making your orgasm that much better as he dragged it past your g-spot with each stroke as he marked you.

The base of his cock was swelling rapidly and dominant pheromones were rolling off his body as he growled and snapped at your obedience, still riding the high of your orgasm as your body was jolted and tossled by his hips which were roughly smacking against yours before you heard a choked moan escape him. Letting his cock fully rest in you as you muffled a whine against the mattress.

Tears stung your eyes at the feeling of his knot, it was massive and plugged up your small hole as you felt the first burst of hot cum stream from his cock, nobody ever told you that your hormones were running so crazy that you’d cum just from him cumming. But here you were letting out the most embarrassing cries and squeals in pleasure and it was like your orgasm was tenfold at being filled up by your Alpha. 

Spit was dripping into the bed as you let out the lewdest moans, your hips grinding against his cock that was completely stuck inside you, a snappy growl escaped Namjoon as he released your neck from his mouth, his cock hyper sensitive yet your needy grinding earned the second spurt of cum from his knot , “Stop that you needy little bitch.” Namjoon snarled in command, your walls split open by his massive cock yet they were still so tight around him. His cum was like euphoria for you. Making your head spin and your body nearly black out in pleasure as your hips kept trying to grind against him for more.

Namjoon snapped again as he grabbed your hips making you cry out with a whine, walls needily clenching around around him earning a third load of his seed as you moaned pathetically, your knees trembling but your body was begging for more. Taking pity on your trembling desperate figure Namjoon let his fingers return to your clit nearly making you scream as you whine against the sheets, “That’s right little omega.” Namjoon purred against your ear, “Let them all know who you belong to.” 

You were trying your best to be still, you really were. Tears pricked at your eyes as he let his fingers circle over your swollen bud, your walls harshly clenching around him earning a low growl, “Keep milking my cock baby. You’re gonna be such a good mommy.” Namjoon nipped against your ear as you whimpered. You were in absolute bliss, being stuffed full of his knot, his fingers playing with your clit while filling you with his seed. 

Your inner wolf was howling in ecstasy. The pleasure was so much you weren’t sure when it happened but your vision began to spot before darkening altogether.

“I’m glad to see you’re feeling better Luna.” Your cheeks burned at the Prince’s well meaning comment as you gave a timid smile, trying not to think about just why you had gotten ‘sick’ according to the rest of the court. Namjoon’s nose nudging against your neck as you curled into your seat. Your heat would have been unbearable had it not been for your mate, but Namjoon had taken care of you the whole week and…

You couldn’t say for sure but you had a feeling it wouldn’t be long before a pregnancy was announced. You couldn’t say for sure, omega’s weren't easy to impregnate but, surely after being knotted for a week straight by an Alpha...Just the idea of little pups running around had you nearly bouncing in your seat, “Oh, thank you Your Highness, I’m feeling much better.” You nudged back against Namjoon, eliciting a small growl in your ear from him as he straightened up a little. 

A large hand stroked against your hair as Namjoon spoke up, “Thank you for letting us stay, we’ll be heading out later this evening to unite with the pack, I’m sure they’re all ready to begin our journey back to our territory.” 

Jungkook offered an easy smile as he nodded, long locks of raven hair shielding his eyes briefly with the movement as he replied, “I’m sure, wolves have always had the tendency to be nomadic in nature. I just have one request for you.” Namjoon raised his brows in curiosity as the Prince looked to his mate, a gentle encouraging smile on his lips as if trying to coax her to speak.

She withered a little, looking away in reservation as she mumbled, “Are you sure this is a good idea?” Jungkook’s hand squeezed against hers in confirmation as she took a breath in resignation before glancing between you both, “I’m...looking for someone...A powerful witch, they say she lives north, I don’t expect you to look for her, but if you were to stumble across one such as herself, please send her to me, directly.” 

You tilted your head in confusion before you glanced at Namjoon, witch of the north...? Was this the same witch the scout from the Sisterhood was looking for? You could see the a mixture of desperation and resignation in the Princess’s eyes as she glanced back at the table, her hands folded as Jungkook tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear with soft eyes, “Pardon my words but,” Everyone’s attention was on you as you tilted your head, didn’t Namjoon say the royal court enforced these rules more then anyone? “Isn’t witchcraft punishable by death…?” 

A tense air took over the table and it seemed your words were confirmed, while you didn’t live in any kingdom, you had known just as well as anyone else witchcraft was against nearly every kingdom's law. Jungkook bowed his head, as if in understanding of your confusion, “It is, which is why we ask you to keep this between the both of you. We’re looking for someone dear to my mate, but the only way we can possibly find closure is through magick. Please don’t go out of your way or put yourselves in danger for this.” 

Namjoon nodded in understanding though keeping what he had previously talked to you about a secret, “Of course, we’ll keep a lookout if we come across anyone with that sort of power.” 

“Thank you.” The Princess offered a small smile before letting her gaze drop back to her plate, the conversation between the Prince and Namjoon picking up once more with any last minute details of what to look out for. 

After your private dinner with the crowned Prince and future Princess you had made your way out of the palace. While you would miss the plush beds and elaborate meals you wouldn’t lie in saying you were glad to be out of the bustling city and into the open air where your new pack greeted you with open arms. 

Taking a long sniff of the fresh air you curled up against Namjoon where the big bonfire was, everyone conversed and celebrated another fruitful picking to eat well. Namjoon’s arms wrapped around you as he nudged against your neck, a smile on his lips as he hummed, “Should we tell the pack?” 

You felt a smile tug on your lips as you looked up at the man who had become your whole life, shaking your head as you let out a breathy laugh, “No, I’d rather not tell them until we know for sure.” 

Pressing a kiss into your neck Namjoon flirted, “We’ll give it two weeks.” You rolled your eyes with a smile as you leaned against him, his hands tenderly stroking your stomach as you closed your eyes. You couldn’t wait to begin the journey to a new land once again and experience everything with your mate in hand. 

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E127 (March 2, 2021)

Tonight’s guests are, of course, Ashley Johnson and Marisha Ray!

Marisha, on her thought process behind the date: “It was a fascinating study on designing something with another player in trying to navigating how to do that in a way that makes sense and wouldn’t be too metagamey or overly scripted or anything like that. I had a bunch of ideas thought out, then I just typed it out and sent it over to him, and then he interpreted it as such.” Liam had ideas, but Marisha wanted him to keep the details a surprise. The theme of “let’s start over” was the leading motif for the design. Three acts: pre-game cocktails at the Nestled Nook, picnic in a field of Xhorhasian wildflowers, and then close it with after-dinner drinks and hot tub at the Steam’s Respite. And the very last thing was “and all the cats were dogs”. Brian: “What was his response to that?” Marisha: “He texted me and was like, ‘Are you serious or is this dog thing a joke?’”

Ashley is asked what it was like to know it was coming but not know the specifics. “For both of us, I don’t think we thought it was going to be right then. I think because it’s been so long in the relationship between Beau and Yasha and it felt like such a natural progression for the two of them, and they’re both awkward together. I think there was something to just being thrown into it.” She spent time thinking about what things Yasha would talk to Beau about on a date. “We got to maybe one of them. It was just so fun! Exploring romance in D&D can be super weird, especially when you’re streaming. But it felt like that’s where our characters were going. There was that excitement of trying something that is out of my comfort zone, and I think so much of Marisha was part of that, as being the initiator as Beau, where I was like, okay, this is where it’s going it. Let’s do it, let’s see what happens!” She mentions how “fun and freeing” it is to trust your improv partner in something like this.

Marisha: “I just wanted Beau to be a fuckboi!” But she highlights that it’s hard to deny the deeper connections that come up in D&D scenarios. “They’ve been with each other through so much that it’s difficult to deny when those bonds start to happen.” She texted Liam in a panic before the game. “What do I wear? And he said, ‘In the game or in real life?’ Both!”

Marisha was expecting a Sam curveball at some point. “My/Beau’s reaction of ‘I love you!’ was pretty accurate. She does care! She’s not just  a troll trying to ruin our shit.”

Marisha on Yasha liking dogs: “I clocked that shit when you bought a dog figurine.” She keeps notes about all the members of the party when they reveal things like that.

Ashley has started taking more detailed notes, partly to play catch-up for events she may have missed earlier. “Turns out, notes are very helpful and can help you in your RPing!”

Favorite parts? Marisha: “The fade-to-black moment at the very end, and I think it’s because Ashley’s eyes--maybe this is going to get weird--we had this moment where we were in the hot tub at the end, and I looked over and was like, ‘hey’, and you looked over and were like, ‘hey’, and I was just dead. I will never forget the look on Ashley’s face. There was just a pure moment.” Ashley: “That’s so funny, because I was going to talk about this one moment with Marisha. It’s just clicking into the scene and clicking into the moment.” Marisha talks about how the moments associated with the game have real, tangible emotional connections. Brian highlights that the emotional side of things is what you remember the most after the campaign is done.

Character thoughts on Kima? Marisha: “I was like, step on me! Please! Both of you! We’d be friends.” Ashley: “It’s also that nostalgia that feels so good at the table. These characters we know and love are still living and breathing and happy together and just kicking ass. For Yasha it was an amazing example of a relationship that works in this world, and something beautiful that these people who are different but are connecting. It was a lot of-- it was cool. I think Yasha’s a very big fan of Kima and Allura. When she gave over the sword, Travis texted me and was like, it’s the Holy Avenger. Looking it up and talking about it, it was like, holy mackerel, this sword is insane. But there’s going to have to be some conversations had to attune with the sword. But I like that Matt presented that challenge, that this isn’t necessarily in your class, but let’s do some RP and see what happens.”

Where’s Yasha at with the Stormlord right now? “I’m curious to explore that more, but knowing that the Stormlord was the first person to bring her back to her own will, of pulling her out of whatever was happening with Oban and the Laughing Hand for however long. It’s also weird to see the relationship that the clerics have, and I think Yasha’s still figuring out how to be her own person, but also... not serving somebody, but still trying to figure out that relationship with her god. But again, he saved her from a very, very dark place, and I think that’s something she values and holds on to.”

Cosplay of the Week: An amazing Essek! (Blushingvioletcosplay on Instagram)

How is Beau handling the Eyes? “All the theories! It’s hard for it to not feel like a ticking time bomb. I always have to try and separate my theories from Beau’s theories. That’s acting and shit. I, Marisha, am very interested if I can somehow utilize this to our advantage. Beau, also interested but simultaneously terrified that it might be a bad idea and I might just get further initiated. When it comes to Matt, you know there’s always something more lurking underneath all of this. As players it’s kind of our job to navigate that.”

How about Yasha? “I think it’s one of the things that didn’t really come up in the date, which is funny, because it’s something I was thinking about. Me as a player, that’s something I’m extremely stressed about. We don’t know what’s going to happen. We kind of got into it, but I think the fact that Lucien was listening, and the Eyes, I think it made me as a player as Yasha very nervous about interacting with Beau, because I don’t know what they’re picking up on. There’s so much we don’t know, and Lucien is so confusing, and the Eyes, and with Matt... we don’t know! It’s a point of extreme concern for Yasha, especially someone that she has feelings for and cares about, it’s an extra level of I don’t know what this means and I can’t lose this person, but I need to protect at all costs.”

What was it like for Beau to discover that Dairon and the Soul not only listened but took action? “That moment was so deeply powerful. Honestly, I was just as taken aback as Beau was. I never in both mine or Beau’s thought process did I think Matt would take action in that way, or that would ever be handled. And I think that’s what makes it so emotional. You condition yourself to think these things just happen, so much so that they permeate your D&D game. So rarely do abusers get held accountable for their actions. What was powerful about it was that he was, and other people cared. That alone was so emotionally impactful, and I was completely thrown by it. I feel like I had to walk away from that situation kind of unpacking those things. What does that say, what does that mean? Same thing for Beau, where the cycle of abuse has happened repeatedly to her with no repercussions to anyone who’s causing it. It’s why she’s always had a weird tenuous relationship with the Soul. It throws you into these layers of reconciliation and thought. I didn’t think this was going to be addressed. What does that say about society? So many different layers to peel back. It all speaks to so many real-life experiences that happen every damn day to so many people. There’s not many examples in media of abusers getting handled, and especially not in a way that’s not some sort of device to motivate somebody.” She highlights how rare it is that the abuser was handled without pulling the victim into the mess. I’m definitely not doing what she’s saying justice with my speed-typing.

How is Yasha feeling about solidifying her identity as a protector? “Putting together this character and starting to play as her, there was a part of me that wanted-- when I work on characters, you go through the list of questions you have as an actor, what’s your motivation and all that stuff. But I very much wanted to see if I could have a character that doesn’t necessarily know what their purpose is, because I feel like a lot of people feel that way. I think when we see movies or TV shows, there’s always a character who says, I know what my purpose is. I wanted to explore what it meant to not know what that is. I left that open with Yasha, and I didn’t want to set that for her, because I thought that was an interesting thing. I still like that idea, but in the conversation with Beau and knowing the date was coming up, there were a lot of internal conversations I was having of how is Yasha feeling in this moment. At the end of the day, I feel that’s a very solid purpose for Yasha in this moment, of all I can really provide is protection - and of course she can provide more than that. But now I’m just, yeah, I think protection for her is the best way she knows how to describe her purpose.” Brian: “And once we arrive there, the goal is to find a greater purpose, to be of service.” Ashley has tied in Yasha’s protectiveness with her grappling with loss.

Fan art of the week: A second amazing Essek! (by Saturday_sky)

Thoughts on the amulets: set-up or bad luck? Ashley: “I thought they were a set-up!” Marisha: “I think [Astrid’s] an opportunist. But I think it’d be much more convenient if anyone other than her killed Trent. To what end, I don’t know.” Ashley: “Me, personally, how I interpreted her crying in that alleyway, I felt like she was crying because of a betrayal. But I don’t know! I think she definitely cares for Caleb.” Marisha: “I also got betrayal tears. That felt like guilt-crying to me.” Brian: “I don’t like any of this.”

What prompted Beau going full assassin? “If they were to get in and out and I could have jumped over that tower without killing that guy, I would have.” She didn’t have a lot of options as a monk and not a rogue assassin, but needed a quick and quiet way to get him out of the way. “I went through so many ideas in my head. I thought of an idea to dump all of the ball bearings under him, then light fireworks” to try to get him to fall off the edge.

Is Yasha’s hope for Molly still alive? “Yes. I think that because Yasha has been on the other end of doing terrible things under someone else’s influence, she has a lot of forgiveness for people. At this point, of course, it’s hope that he’ll come back or have some type of recognition of his life as Molly. There’s a lot of questions. I don’t think she’ll ever give up on him.” The only moment of hesitation was when Lucien was cool with Gelidon leaving with Beau.

How are they feeling about their odds? Ashley: “I feel really great about the ideas that the group has to get out of tricky situations. This one I’m nervous about.” Marisha: “I agree. We have our little side player thread, minus Matt, and I don’t see how we’re getting out of this without some sort of compromise that’s not necessarily in our favor. I think we’re going to get out of it, but I don’t think we’re going to get out of it completely.”

Ashley didn’t tell Brian about the date after the episode ended, but wound up blurting it out right before he was about to watch the episode for Talks.

[marieanneline]

wait wait hold up i am actually seething about the reveal

ya boi's not a dabi stan. at all. the only reason i'm remotely interested in his character is if he's actually related to shouto and how that would affect hero society in general. i remember reading the training camp arc, seeing him being one of the villains there, him saying todoroki's full name, and thinking "SIBLINGS?????" because agshdfjlk their EYES are SO SIMILAR!! i really want to give credit to horikoshi being able to portray their similarities from artstyle alone because that's talent.

(it's more apparent in the anime since you see the eye color— but appearance-wise, shouto takes after rei and dabi takes after enji the most, so this definitely isn't the best photo to prove my point...)

anyways,,,, dabi's ideals of heroics fall in line with stain's ideals and so we all already theorized how if he was the long lost big brother touya, it would be because of the fact that his father really wasn't a hero. this makes sense. and so, we're all fucking right. props to us, really, and props to horikoshi for all the foreshadowing because i had fun :)) in terms of story and plot, i think this reveal is fantastic.

alright, on to why dabi is a dick

(i'm assuming this was his choice and no one pressured him after all)

the todoroki family is on the road to recovery!!

- shouto finally visits his mother back in season 2 and visits her every chance he gets. you see the effort he makes and it's nice to see him change from season 1 to 2 (early-roki!!)

(guys he even sends her letters- look at that sparkle by his face!! he's sweet :)) and rei's smile!!!!)

- enji (whether we wanted it or not, i don't mind much personally) is trying to atone for everything he's done to his family

- natsuo, who originally wasn't fond of shouto because he had their father's attention (although he does come to the horrible realization that shouto was one of the most unfortunate) and mother's attention (because she wanted to protect shouto), has a closer relationship with his little brother now (can you believe he didn't even know shouto's favorite food was cold soba until ch. 192?? i was sobbing). he really regrets the prejudice he had against shouto and he's trying to be an actual brother to him now.

- rei's almost recovered enough to be released from the hospital!!

- fuyumi and her idyllic "happy family"– wHICH, BY THE WAY, ALMOST CAME TO FRUITION. their mother coming home, shouto connecting with his siblings, and enji being not-the-way-he-was-before is the best outcome they could have hoped for. and it was happening.

and i realize that all of that setup is for this very moment

this? this. this. this is being broadcasted. to everyone. that means the citizens know that their new #1 hero is directly related to a member of a really bad villain organization (i almost called it a terrorist group oop-).

by ruining endeavor, the citizens faith in heroes will collapse. this also affects shouto's reputation as an upcoming hero, and i am so terrified of what this could mean for him. imagine your career ending before it even started, just when you found your passion for being a hero again. all that progress he's made for himself since starting UA could be seen as pointless to him and i would hate for him to retrogress like that because it's not his fault. i would absolutely hate it if the media starts bashing shouto for being related to a villain, when he was also a victim of abuse.

seeing this look on shouto's face is making me dehydrated istg i'm fucking SOBBING— he doesn't even look angry!! in the last few chapters he was angry and worried for his friends, teachers, father maybe, other heroes... but he just looks sad. and the fact that the panel chooses to show the left side of his face is.... there's so much to unpack.

but yeah, this is being broadcasted. does fuyumi know? the cameo she had showed her working so maybe not. natsuo's cameo showed that he was at a lecture, so he also probably didn't see.

but rei did. that's like- that's the person i would want to keep this from the most.

the effects of this entire reveal genuinely scare me. how will this affect rei's mental state? she'll realize that what enji did is actually so much worse. their first child being a villain?? i'm terrified for how she'll react, she's doing much better in recent chapters after all. her kids are visiting her, shouto sends her letters to keep in touch, and enji sends her flowers and respectfully keeps his distance. i really don't want this reveal to result in a relapse. and if she does relapse, then fuyumi's ideal of a happy family is once again out of arms reach. the future of their mother finally coming back home is so far away again and it's genuinely so heart-breaking.

:(

plus— how will fuyumi's little elementary school students react to her being related to a villain? will the school fire her because of her connection to a villain and how that might cause concerns for students and parents????

it's also hard to say exactly how this will affect shouto and natsuo. natsuo was the closest to touya when they were kids so what would his whole opinion be of what touya's become? will he have a moral crisis?

in terms of moral crisises, i guess i'm more concerned about shouto. the boy knows he wants to forgive his father, but this is just making it so much harder. and after this, will he still want to? and finding out that his own sibling is a villain... remember the stain arc? there were some parallels between midoriya's, iida's, and todoroki's positions in the last chapter and i'm worried about what that could foreshadow. from that arc alone, we know that shouto doesn't agree with stain's views at all [i forgot what he said but it was really compelling]. we know that dabi's a stain follower though, so will this disrupt shouto's sense of justice? i hope not.

but family has always been kind of a weak spot for shouto, hasn't it? i hope this doesn't affect his resolve to be a hero because i do think that there's a way to– somehow– not have a corrupt hero society and i want him to fight for that.

touya being a villain is perfectly valid though, i don't doubt that. it's just disheartening to address that while every other todoroki was working hard to become a normal family, here's their oldest brother, who's not really dead. what's going to become of that altar at their house now?

learning the extent to touya's hatred towards endeavor is truly terrifying. we know enji is or was a horrible person and his redemption arc is based on the very fact that he can't be forgiven, despite some of his family trying their best to do so or at least get over it. but the fact that touya has even thought about killing shouto? that's just. ouch. touya's definitely gone through too much abuse, and all of the todoroki family problems are because of enji's bad parenting. but this does not justify murder and especially that of his younger brother, who also got the brunt of the abuse.

needless to say, i am a fool. i don't know if anything i just said will ever be true, but the important thing to take from whatever the heck i just shat out is that all of this is/could be a result of this reveal. it's the fact that dabi seems to have no sympathy. it's the fact that he doesn't care if his blood related family crashes and burns. really, if this is solely about endeavor and what he did, there's no need to bring the rest of the family into this. rei was sent to a hospital for god's sake. shouto has a scar. it's excessive and unmoral and although questionable ethics and values are key traits of a villain, it doesn't justify how much he's hurting the todorokis.

(look at this shit eating grin he has. no remorse. he really doesn't give a shit about the others but I DO and I'M so SAD)

and assuming that the whole "endeavor's wife admitted into hospital" was swept under the rug in terms of media, will that suddenly come back to light? because it shouldn't. maybe it should be known that she's in the hospital because of marital abuse but either way rei should not be dragged back into this disaster, and neither should the rest of them. there's also a chance that the media will accuse rei of having abused her kids too, which is messed up for different reasons. they're trying so hard to have any semblance of a normal family, and if dabi's way of revealing this to the world ruins that in any way then i hATE THIS REVEAL ASDFGHJKL—

[alternatefandom]

Death of a Deity, or, resentment of fallen gods across Mondstadt, Liyue, and Inazuma

Inazuma’s release reveals a ton of lore with it, including three major world quests that involves purifying some sort of evil so that previously-dangerous areas can become safe again. As a Xiao main, the topic of evil and resentment interests me very much, primarily because Genshin never quite explains to us what, exactly, is the evil that Xiao has to eternally struggle against, and why he has to do it for all eternity. This post is my attempt to compile everything we know about the evil that Xiao fights against, not just in Liyue, but all over the Teyvat we know.

There are seven nations in Teyvat, each ruled by their own deity. Styled as Archons, these deities won their titles two thousand years ago when they emerged as the victors of the Archon War. But even though they are worshipped as gods, they are not immortal. Archons have died and new ones have risen to take their place. Still, the death of a deity is no simple matter. From Havria, whose death unleashes a shockwave that turned her fleeing followers into salt, to the great serpent of Yashiori Island, whose death unleashes the tatarigami, we can see that the death of a deity has left their marks upon nations...

...except for Mondstadt.

But before we talk about Mondstadt, let's start with what Liyuens have to say about their fallen gods.

Liyue

We are first introduced to the concept of resentment of fallen gods in Liyue. Liyue is a bountiful and peaceful land, but it is also the site of many battlefields of yore. Many deities have met their end in this nation; some passed away peacefully, while others very much don’t.

The leftover resentment of fallen gods is a dangerous thing. Unfettered, it can poison the land, spawn monsters, and cause illness amongst mortals. In Liyue, two notable entities safeguard them against such an occasion: the guardian yakshas, who literally fight agaist the resentment, and Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, who burn bodies of the deceased to ensure that any pestilence does not spread.

In Xiao's collected miscellany, Dainsleif states that the resentment of fallen gods is something to be endured, implying that the fight against resentment is one that will go on for eternity. However, it is interesting to note that Liyue's guardian entities seem to contradict this statement. In her story quest, Hu Tao flat-out states that the 'curse of the gods' have long since been eradicated.

In his own story quest, when talking about the demon-tainted monster, Xiao says that they were tainted by Xiao's own bad karma, instead of resentment of the fallen gods.

We can see that the state of the resentment of fallen gods in Liyue right now remains unclear. Has it been eradicated, or is it still a threat? Is the evil taint in Liyue caused by resentment of fallen gods, or remnants of Xiao's accumulated karma? What will happen if Xiao dies? Will the karma he accumulated be unleashed or will it die with him? Is there anyone who will be able to take over his job? Will anyone need to? The system of resentment suppression in Liyue right now seem fragile, but could Zhongli have retired if things truly are as precarious as they seem?

Inazuma

When we get to Inazuma, we see that the resentment of fallen gods is running rampant. In Liyue, we pretty much only fight demon-tainted enemies during Xiao's story quest, but in Inazuma, they're everywhere. The people of Inazuma call this phenomenon the 'tatarigami', and unlike in Liyue, they have dedicated systems to suppress and even harness it, even though they are defunct for one reason or another.

The first notable evil-purifying system is centered on Narukami Island, at the Grand Sakura Tree. The roots of this tree is connected to the Thunder Sakura roots growing all over Narukami Island. Thunder Sakuras are capable of absorbing filth and evil from the land. However, if the tree absorbs too much filth, it will die. This is why there are barriers placed at its roots. They serve as filters that can be cleaned out every half-century or so, preventing too much filth from seeping into the Grand Sakura Tree and killing it.

Outside of Narukami Island, around Kannazuka, there are also five Thunder Sakuras growing around Mikage Furnace. We know that Thunder Sakuras can purify filth, so it makes sense for them to be planted around the Mikage Furnace. Ostensibly, they can be used to purify excessive tatarigami, keeping the area around the furnace safe for everyone.

However, according to Miyuki (the miko in the Sakura Arborism quest), the Thunder Sakuras of Kannazuka are not used to purify tatarigami. Rather, they serve to suppress ‘the one who lies beneath’; whether it is a fallen deity, a sealed one, or something else, we do not know. In fact, it is important to note that while the Thunder Sakuras can purify filth and evil, it is never explicitly stated that it can purify resentment or tatarigami. The evil and filth that the Sakura trees purify may very well be different to the resentment of fallen gods. Which makes sense; nothing in Inazuman lore suggests that any deity have unwillingly met their end at Narukami Island or Kannazuka proper.

To the west of Kannazuka, though, lies Yashiori, an island battered by the full force of the tatarigami. It comes from the remains of Orobachi, a giant serpent-god slain by the Raiden Shogun. As a defense against tatarigami, the people of Inazuma placed wards to suppress Orobachi’s soul. However, the wards are not enough to suppress the tatarigami altogether: the Kitain family, hailed as the Yashiori Guardians, are tasked with hunting down the tatarigami to keep the people safe. The lore of the Kitain Cross Spear has this to say about them: “having been a demon hunter for so long, it is unavoidable that one might imbibe some of that miasmic, tainted blood.” 

Well, doesn’t that sound familiar.

The tatarigami in Yashiori seem to be the closest account of resentment that we know from Liyue. Like in Liyue, the people of Yashiori had to resort to literally battling the tatarigami, but unlike in Liyue, they have no immortal adeptus that can bear the burden of karma for them. Eventually, due to various factors, even the Yashiori Guardians succumbed to tatarigami. What remains behind is an island ravaged by illness and natural disasters, a grim example of a society built upon the ashes of divine war with no divine being who cares enough to protect them.

Mondstadt

Unlike Liyue and Inazuma, somehow, Mondstadt does not seem to be troubled with the resentment of fallen gods. This is probably because unlike Liyue and Inazuma, Mondstadt was never the site of grand archon battles. During Decarabian's reign, Andrius kept the land frozen in a blizzard, and after Decarabian's fall, Andrius chose to pass away peacefully, using his power to nourish the land instead of leaving resentment behind. There are no accounts of other gods dying against their will in Mondstadt, save for Decarabian himself.

And yet, we do not see traces of resentment anywhere in Mondstadt, not even in the ruins of Old Mondstadt. The darkness that corrupts Dvalin comes from the Abyss, and so is the corruption of the dragon Durin. So the big burning question is, where did Decarabian's resentment go? Did he choose to pass away in peace after all? Did Venti manage to purify his resentment somehow? Does this mean that resentment can truly be purged, and if so, what does this mean for Xiao? Or are we just reading too much into the whole resentment thing?

The Solution to Tatarigami

So, if the resentment of fallen gods is something that can never be purged, what can the people of Teyvat do to protect themselves? Is burdening a divine being with pain and bad karma the only reliable way? Well, the good news is that there may be another way. From the Tatara Tales world quest, we know that tatarigami can be harnessed and even purified, to an extent. So even though a solution does not exist right now, there may very well be in the near future. There is light at the end of the tunnel for our friendly neighborhood Yaksha; one day, he may be able to follow his lord into a peaceful retirement, after all.

[bard-llama]

Ciri contemplating on the Geopolitical chessboard that has formed: "Let's see, we have Meve in Lyria and Rivia, Anais could take up Free... Well, whatever... Temeria, Adda has a strong claim in Redenia, Skellige seems fine under Cerys, the Free Pontar Valley has Saskia, Kaedwen is leaderless, we don't care about Dol Blathanna... Stennis in Aedirn is a problem, but I'll find some way to get rid of him." Vooris is confused on why she would like to get rid of such a sycophant.

Ooooh, I like that! Like, politically, I think Ciri has to marry Morvran Voorhis, because we know that the Nilfgaardian nobles are displeased with the war and how much Emhyr has committed to it. So bringing in a daughter no one has ever heard of? Yeah, she would have to marry someone that appeases the noble families or she would face civil war.

Morvran was groomed by Emhyr as a potential successor (+ his dad was part of a plot to remove Emhyr and place Morvran on the throne, but he wasn't involved in it. Still, I might be a lil pissed if my mentor hanged my dad, even if my dad betrayed me). But we know that Ciri will be a very different ruler from Emhyr. She takes the throne wanting to make real change the way a lone witcher cannot, which likely means she'd enact a number of social reforms, even if she has to fight the nobility to get it through.

But all that is to say, Morvran's expectations of what his Empress will be like are probably wildly inaccurate at first, so he'd be very confused why she would get rid of someone who can so clearly easily be controlled.

But she doesn't want tools, she wants people. She wants to be able to make life better for peasants and nonhumans and other such marginalized groups. She wants to see leaders of other kingdoms that care about their people. That are reasonable and can be worked with. (That they all happen to be women is a happy 'coincidence'. But uh... turns out that in patriarchial societies, women tend to do a better job of not thinking with their cocks).

So there's the Free Pontar Valley with Saskia. There's Enid an Gleanna/Francesca Findabair in Dol Blathanna, Meve in Lyria and Rivia, and Adda the White in Redania/Kaedwen (Redania invaded Kaedwen and took over under Radovid). That's a lot of the North's real estate. All that's really left is Aedirn, like you said. And Stennis would be a problem, but it kinda depends on what state Aedirn is in. By which I mean, if Nilfgaard took over Aedirn after Demavend's death, even if Stennis was left alive (the coward probably ran from battle), then Aedirn would just need to be governed locally by someone loyal to Nilfgaard. Which some could maybe argue Stennis is, but uh... yeah, we know better. Also, he's a shit leader and if he was governor, then Aedirn is falling into ruin, esp after the invasion. So getting rid of him would be more like getting rid of an irritating beaurocrat. She could probably even do it without killing him, but where's the fun in that? Or maybe she extradites Stennis to Saskia and they put him on trial for the attempted assassination?

On the other hand, if Stennis takes over the throne after his father dies in W2 and somehow manages to not get taken over by Nilfgaard (which actually is possible, but only if we ignore the probable canon that Nilfgaard takes Lyria and Rivia too). Then you've got several strong (potentially) rulers and one weak link in the chain. But if Ciri wants to conquer Aedirn, then her army has to get there. Which is important for several reasons.

1) After the Nilfgaardian War + the White Frost, her army is... probably not in the best state. And Nilfgaard enlists their infantry, meaning if you're a farmer or whatever of eligible age and fitness, you are now fighting on the front for Nilfgaard. But a lot of their infantry dies (because they're inexperienced and not soldiers), which means suddenly her realm doesn't have enough farmers to bring in the crops or to sow new ones for next year. That's likely part of why Nilfgaard was demanding grain as tribute from conquered villages. But locally, they probably destroyed most of the crops ('cause walking an army over a farm will do that), so there's already gonnna be (already are) issues with famine in her empire.

2) If Ciri did somehow put together the fighting force to take Aedirn, she has to get there. This is getting super long, so I'll put the map under a cut, but the only direct way from her territory (i.e. all of Nilfgaard below the Yaruga + Temeria and Temeria's protectorates (Brugge, Sodden, etc.)) into Aedirn is north of the Mahakaman Mountains, through Iorveth's forest. Which means she's have to march her army all the way to the northern tip of her territory and then establish supply lines through a forest that is filled with monsters and murdrous squirrels (well, maybe).

Okay, I guess technically a second way to get to Aedirn would be to go by sea and then sail up the Pontar. But transporting infantry by sea is a huge undertaking, so it's still not terribly practical.

And, frankly, their ability to sail up the Pontar could be limited. Because they probably lost a lot of their navy during the White Frost thing, but also, it's in Redania's best interests to prevent Nilfgaard from accessing the Pontar. Even if it means blockading the busiest trade route in the north. Which doesn't exactly help with the famines.

Besides, even if Ciri's army could make land on the Aedirnian shore of the Pontar. That is a very narrow strip of land. Dol Blathanna is kind of on Nilfgaard's side, so they might agree (or not be asked) to letting an army travel over their land.

There is a river off the Pontar that goes to Vengerberg, so potentially she could make land there. But once again, that means supply lines dependent on waterways that she doesn't control.

So how does Ciri take Aedirn? Well, I'd say 2 ways, maybe 3:

1) Send in a covert strike team to assassinate Stennis and sweep in during the chaos. Which is good in that the strike team could probably get to Aedirn easily enough. But if she's going to occupy territory, she needs her army. Which leads to:

2) Try to encourage Meve to take over Aedirn, maybe even promise trade agreements and/or support to make it happen. The bright side: all that extra territory is not Ciri's problem and Stennis is still gone. The downside: well, if Meve is the expansionist sort (i don't know her well enough to say one way or another), then potentially Meve might try to conquer Dol Blanthanna (bad for northern stability and geopolitics, but not that big of a deal to Ciri personally) and might try to push Nilfgaard's border further south, because she knows that having an expansionist on your border signals future fighting.

3) Or, Ciri could negotiate with Meve, get permission to bring her army through Rivia to get to Aedirn. Some problems with this: Meve really kinda hates Nilfgaard, so is not likely to be inclined to agree. Ciri would have to establish supply lines through Rivia, which would at any time be subject to Meve's whims, plus probably attacks from the locals, who both hate Nilfgaard and might be short on food.

Hahaha, this is a very long and political answer, so sorry about that, but theorizing like this is really fun!

Maps:

Here’s the best map we have for the continent:

And here’s a map with some very messy political territories highlighted.

Okay, sorry it’s horribly messy, but essentially what we can see is that Nilfgaard owns the western side of the continent all the way up to the Pontar. Above the Pontar, Redania owns a HUGE chunk of land spanning east beyond Nilfgaard’s reach. Nilgaard owns everything south of the Yaruga and the territory west of the Mahakaman Mountains below the Pontar. (Just an interesting note: Mahakam was a Temerian protectorate, so technically Nilfgaard owns them. But having a city inside a mountain is not the same as getting an army across said mountains.) On the eastern side of the Mahakaman Mountains, we have the main territories that Nilfgaard doesn’t own. First, the northern border of Nilfgaard in the east is with Lyria and Rivia. Then there’s the huge chunk of land that belongs to Aedirn, except Aedirn might not have an heir to rule. And above that (previously a protectorate of Aedirn) is Dol Blathanna aka the elven state that Scoia’tael aren’t allowed in. Then, on the other side of a mountain range, the Free Pontar Valley lies between the Pontar and Dol Blathanna. 

Which is all to say: Aedirn’s fate is very questionable, but they’re actually in a pretty good location to avoid being conquered by Nilfgaard.