#certain capacity when i’m bored idk what to tell you

[catastrxblues]

just wrote a very very sane piece <3

[trans-cuchulainn]

What are the major details that confused you about the Hound blurb? The major one that stood put to me was the "way of the farmer opposed to the sword" thing which felt very...un-Cú Chulainn. Also, if you don't mind expanding further, which details didn't you question/be confused by?

and also for anon:

okay so it is like. 2am so there are not going to be any sources here but i can't sleep so here goes!! i will go through this blurb line by line and give youse my thoughts

In 50 BCE,

reasonable. this is roughly the right time period for when the ulster cycle is set. maybe marginally earlier than i'd place cú chulainn, but i'm talking a few years, nothing to get worked up about.

Morrigan, the goddess of war,

fine. normally i'm wary of pantheonising impulses with regard to irish characters (almost none of them can be identified as a god of anything in particular, it doesn't work like that) but tbh the morrigan is like, the most plausible exception to that, so whatever. normally her name has the definite article attached to it because it's kind of a species term as well but whatevs.

has become restless as a long-lasting peace settles over Ireland.

dubious. closest i can think of to peace being reference in any texts is togail bruidne da derga talking about conaire mor's reign being like, prosperous and peaceful and whatever, and even there you've got díberg (plundering/reaving) which is what eventually fucks him over and starts the otherworldly hell spiral situation. that's roughly the right period here but conaire's doom proves you don't have to do much to nudge peace into war, and connacht and ulster are at each other's throats for years before cú chulainn comes on the scene anyway

Deciding the time of peace must end, she chooses Setanta, the nephew of the king of the north, to become her ward.

hmm. i mean. like, this isn't the WEIRDEST choice they could have made. it's still completely made-up, don't get me wrong -- cú chulainn has a lot of different foster parents in different texts and they don't agree with each other but none of them ever mentions the morrígan. but like, they do have a connection of some sort, as evidenced by their conversations. and there's that one moment in the r1 boyhood deeds where little cú chulainn is out on the battlefield and hears her (not sure which name is used here) calling out to him and it like. motivates him to do some deeds or whatever, and i guess you could extrapolate that into some kind of teaching capacity.

so like. could be weirder. if you're gonna pick anyone, you could do worse. still seems weird to me! but not on its own a major issue, i could get past this and consider it a Fun But Unorthodox Creative Decision

(the fact that she tries to seduce him in the táin probably wouldn't get in the way of this considering sleeping with his teachers/foster-mothers is far from unheard of where cú chulainn is concerned)

After a young Setanta slays the demon-hound of Cullan, he becomes known as Cú Cullan—The Hound of Cullan.

weird spelling choices, they could have at least bothered to use the genitive properly. also the hound isn't a demon, it's a ferocious watchdog -- making it sound all Otherworldly and Hellish like this kinda confuses the issue of why he would need to take its place. he needs to take its place because the cattle and people still need protecting because it is a watchdog!! but whatevs, again, it's a brief summary so they can't exactly give us all the details and this is not actively objectionable

As Cú Cullan grows older, it is apparent that an extraordinary power lies within him … and a great darkness.

ugh boring. this makes it sound like he's going to be ~tortured~ and angsty about it. give me an unapologetic murder teen please. is the ríastrad dark? sure i guess, if you're going to be boring about it. it's more like, grotesque neon in my head

When he chooses the quiet life of a farmer over the sword,

this would fucking never happen on like five different levels. obviously like anyone who has ever read anything about cú chulainn can see that this is not in his nature. he is never going to choose a quiet life. this is the kid who tricked his way into taking arms before everyone thought he was ready. also juxtaposed with the "darkness" comment makes it sound like he would Angst his way into this quiet life which. again. have you seen this kid. he is an unapologetic murder teen

the only thing i can think of that might make him temporarily want to walk away is connla's death which... depends where you position that in the timeline really, he does seem a bit fucked up by it and maybe he'd want a holiday although i can see that lasting precisely 5 minutes before someone pissed him off enough for him to murder them. but if he's being raised by the morrígan i can't see him going to train with scáthach so then he'd never meet aífe and therefore connla would never be born so that wouldn't happen. so like. whatever.

but also like. he would not become a farmer. he just wouldn't! it doesn't work! the ireland of the stories is super hierarchical, right? and this blurb has already fucking told us that he's the king's nephew (canon) so we can tell that being a farmer is Not His Place. when we see upper class figures becoming menial labourers in texts, like in cath maige tuired, it's because Things Are Fucked, Shit's Gone Wrong. people don't just decide to change their entire social class on a whim lmfao

if cú chulainn really wanted to turn his back on being a warrior he could probably make recourse to certain other Suitable Professions ... his grandad's a druid so he might have a route into that, though his dad's not so that might fuck things up a bit bc it's one of those things that's usually inherited. he does give "wisdom" in at least one text though and we also know he can write (he carves riddles in ogham in the táin) and he composes verses on various occasions so idk, maybe something in a poetic direction, though again, usually requires two generations of inheritance to be a real poet and not just a lower-class bard. warrior's kinda the main thing he's got open to him tbh. but farming? i'm not a legal expert but as far as i'm aware based on what i have read, that would fuck shit up

more likely an upset cú chulainn would just go off in search of an adventure somewhere conveniently far away until he'd calmed down (alba, or the tyrrhenian sea, or -- if we're going to get early modern about it -- somewhere like india, which frequently gets thrown into the texts with absolutely no cultural context and it's always hilarious)

Morrigan, angry at the betrayal,

of the entire social order, yes,

instigates an invasion of his homeland

i mean. if they intend this to be the táin then.... táin bó regamna does kinda make the morrígan responsible for it? not in the sense of triggering the pillow talk argument that it's in the book of leinster -- it's her getting up to her usual cow-nicking behaviours for shits and giggles. [note to readers: it is probably for more than shits and giggles but did i mention it's 2am]

but all in all, not particularly out of character that she would be at least some way responsible for this so i can vibe with this. echtra nerai also supports the TBR explanation with her fucking around with otherworldly cows and pissing people off so, yeah, whatever. the morrígan engineered this. sure.

and Cú Cullan must challenge fate itself

this is probably a controversial stance but fate feels like a difficult concept to apply to medieval irish texts. like are people sometimes Doomed? yes. there are prophecies, there are gessi, there's all manner of otherworldly fuckery that can trip you up. is that the same thing as fate? no idea. considering cú chulainn comes out alive from the táin though and his doom prophecies don't catch up to him for like, at least another decade, maybe 16 years depending on who you listen to, hard to see how that would apply here

to keep the goddess at bay.

again like she IS causing fuckery in the táin but also it's like... one time. really not the main character. but she or maybe just some crows, hard to say, do get implicated in the death tale so maybe they're doing what people often do and conflating the two? even though there's like 10-16 years in between them?

anyway as you can see i don’t think it’s wholly terrible / i’m not completely thinkshaming it. like, having cú chulainn raised by the morrígan is unorthodox but it could be a fun and creative direction so i don't object to it. making cú chulainn get sad about murder and choose to be a farmer is just fucking laughable tho, and makes me doubt their characterisations in general. so that's offputting and would probably make me think twice about buying it, if that had ever been on the cards.*

and of course sure, their cú chulainn can be a Sad Boy Who Likes Sheep, but that means he's not the cú chulainn of medieval irish lit / irish myth, because that cú chulainn is a feral murder teen who keeps killing his friends and also is way too high social status to ever be a farmer, and whose only relationship to livestock is as the watchdog who kills anyone trying to harm them (which is an important role on a farm! but like. not the same thing as Being A Farmer. mostly because it involves more murder and is essentially just an extension of his role as a warrior. or rather the other way around. he promises to protect mag muirthemne as a watchdog and this like. gets extended into him becoming its sole defender)

this has been my analysis of this blurb i hope you enjoyed it

it's now 2.30am i should try and sleep now that i've exorcised a few thoughts from my head

*as i mentioned in the tags of my other post, i don't tend to read graphic novels due to disability stuff. they're much harder for me to understand and follow than prose, to the point where some are incomprehensible, so i don't really enjoy them. there are a few i've read, but they tend to be short ones, and i'm usually not reading them in order, just admiring the art separately from the text. so it's unlikely i would read a graphic novel of this size anyway.

[yeoldontknow]

15 questions tag game

tagged by @chillingtae to do this fun game. thank you so much bright angel!! <3 i dont think ive ever seen questions like these around here so this is fun <3 

placing this under a cut because it is long !

1. It’s your birthday! What did you ask for and did you receive it?

uhm...im an old bean, and ive found that over time ive stopped asking for things necessarily and request more experiences. time spent with people matters more to me than items - i can pretty much buy things on my own if i want them. if im asking for anything id ask for money to put towards bills or savings or trips. this year i asked my parents for some money to convert to yen before i went to japan, which they gave me. of my friends, i asked if we could go for dinner and drinks which was a lovely evening <3 

2. What was the last song or album you listened to?

song = Kvrt in Space by Fraunhofer Diffraction

album = 1 Billion Views by EXO-SC

3. What is your go to snack when you’re hungry or bored?

depends on my energy level. usually chips and veggies with hummus because i dont have to make anything. my ultimate snack is popcorn so i have to be careful about how often i have it because i could eat an entire trucks worth and not feel the least bit guilty.

4. What is your morning routine?

check emails. text parents. catch up on group chats. roll out of bed and wash up. feed the cat. start the day!

5. What mythical/cryptic creature would you be?

god probably some bog witch or oracle on a mountain

6. How do you interact with someone that you don’t like?

i dont. if they are interacting with me i will be polite but the conversation will be curt and brief. 

7. How do you define a toxic person?

=> habits of  dishonesty, manipulation, gaslighting, deflection of blame for wrong doings  => reacting to criticism or conflict rather than responding => engaging or meddling or perpetuating drama simply for the attention, thrill/endorphins of it => someone who drains your energy in their company rather than heals it => inability to admit they were wrong or let situations go

8. Have you ever been to a concert or fan meet type of event? If not, would you want to?

ive been to a significant amount of concerts in my life. i love love love concert going and, before quarantine, i would list this activity as one of my favorite hobbies. while not a fan meet event, ive wound up meeting and becoming acquainted with a number of musicians - either by running into them on the street, working with them in some capacity, waiting in the queue before doors, waiting after a show, etc. i once was able to attend an after party of a show with @queenoftheimpala because i knew what a tubulum was after a band member jokingly posted about it on twitter and we started talking. one of my all time favourite bands provides ticket packages which are both a ticket to the show and an earlier event in which there are panels with therapists discussing the importance of mental health etc etc. 

regarding kpop, i have not attended a fanmeet and tbh i dont think i would. the set up feels unnatural, and it is not that i want to spend hours talking with an artist but it feels very rushed and not entirely personal enough for me to express what id truly want to say. this is just my opinion. i know many fans have attended these events and have had a wonderful time. i just dont think this would suit my energy as im quite introverted and feeling rushed would make me anxious.

9. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

oh for sure i do. when you research charts, planets, alignments, etc etc it can be quite revealing when it comes to personality traits, needs, expectations. while i dont believe it accounts for every single thing about a person (upbringing and societal/cultural influence matter too) it can account for the fundamentals. astrology, tarot, and light work have seen me through some extremely difficult situations in my life and reading tarot/charts has helped me understand why i feel what i feel on certain days.

10. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), what would you want?

i rely so heavily on all my senses that i just...dont even know how to pick this. i think id go with touch. taste is a sense omg you mean i cant taste food anymore? oh god. ok uh yeah im still gonna go with touch. touch helps you feel the connection with other people - hugs, hand holding. sounds have waves which you can feel on the body. the earth has texture. touch is how the body relates spatially to other and to itself so yeah i would go with touch.

11. Who is your favourite celebrity or idol?

non kpop = prince, david bowie, chris corner, maynard james keenan....mostly its women. rihanna or sabrina claudio or rosalia. women in the root of their power and sensuality. they are unforgiving in their bodied expressions and i respect them so much. they are unforgiving in their femininity. 

kpop = chanyeol lmao like....unfailingly so

12. If you could talk to your favourite celebrity(s) for a limited time, what would you tell them?

for the non kpop celebrities = im usually just really supportive of women in the entertainment/arts industries so id love to just hear their stories. in this instance i dont think me saying anything is beneficial, more that its important we listen to their journies and their path to success. they have a lot to teach us. chris corner ive met several times and have had many amazing conversations with so in this instance, id just ask if hes doing well, how california is, how his dogs are, give him the update on my tattoo plans etc. for maynard...idk just cry because hes the celebrity ive loved since i was like 4 years old.

kpop = if i had the chance to talk to chanyeol i think like...id just like to talk about his music, thank him for having women as his video editors/videographers, ask his genre tastes, talk about the sheer amount of retro/nostalgia modes on the recent sc album. maybe talk about astronomy. thank him for his power and remind him to eat and that he doesnt need to master everything. achieving perfection is a pursuit of pain, all he has to achieve is happiness within himself. again, remind him to eat.

13. I’m taking you out on a date and it’s your choice. Where are we going?

oooo lets go to an arcade and for dinner. theres some really great barcades in lower manhattan and on LES we can get some amazing dumplings for really cheap and just have a night of talking, playing games, drinking. then maybe walk along the river before we catch the trains home

14. Do you like sweet or savory foods?

my sweet tooth has a limit so while i do like sweet im more into savory

15. Do you have any band merchandise or merchandise from any of your favourite artists? If so, what?

i have a lot of band tees, signed posters, albums of theirs theyve signed for me. i have some drum sticks given to me by a few bands, signed set lists. one band gave me a turntable slip cover. i have a few first press or numbered records that ive framed. i have some lightsticks from when i attended some kpop shows. ive got lots of stuff!

tagging: @yehet-me-up @queenoftheimpala @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @j-pping @yoonia @jamaisjoons @ditzymax @jiminiethot @blackberrykai @hkynm @ninibears-erigom @readyplayerhobi @imdifferentshadesofpurple @red-exo and anyone else who wants to do this. as always please only do so if youre comfortable <3 

[tslasvegas]

Episode 9: “Dear Diary, it’s me, Jaiden” - Jaiden

I feel like I've had a breakthrough. I just survived my first merge vote of the game and I wasn't even having a meltdown. That's already miles and miles ahead of my last Tumblr Survivor season where I made the merge. Although I don't think my position in this game is locked yet, I feel pretty good about where I stand. I hope that the Touchy Subjects answers reveal my hopes that I'm not a threat to anybody and that people don't believe the common idea is that I'm shitty or too perfect or something. If that makes any sense. Basically I just want to know that I'm doing okay here so far. I feel good about my chances at that but we need some work to be done before I can say that for certain. I hate seeing Andrew leave because like I said he's someone that I wanted to work with, but I have to believe what people said about him being an over-player, a mess, etc. and just stick to my guns that I made the right call here. I kind of wanted to see if Joey would play his legacy for Ben but I'm glad I held back on that because I hope the legacy will come back in the future to save me. I don't have a lot of confidence when it comes to the literal minefield of idols and nullifiers out there. As long as I continue convincing people I'm on their side, or that I'm not the enemy at least, those things won't get used on me. Right now that we're on the jury, I NEED to focus on my jury management first and foremost. I am super okay with playing my strategic and social game the way I've been doing it thus far (obv learning from past mistakes.....) but the killer to my game 99% of the time I've made it deep in these things is how I get that jury to feel about me. Protect myself in game, but also set up a jury of folks who feel like they can trust me and only me. And.. hopefully some day I'll blindside Joey and he'll give me his legacy advantage.

...five seconds later

Tbh I hope that Jake reads this after the season and realizes that I never once at this point in the merge find him annoying. Somehow in his own mind he thinks hes like, the worst person ever and I'm trying to tell him he's not, he's great, we have a lot of work ahead of, etc and he's not buying it at all. Idk if this is him trying to emotionally manipulate me or not, but.. like.. thats my gameplan tf! 

So Steph, Pat and Jeff were left out of the vote. But Jaiden said it was supposed to be unanimous. That means that Keegan, Liv and Joey purposely left them out. I don't understand why they would intentionally make enemies. Better for us I suppose. We just got to keep our ragtag group of 6 together: me, John, Jake, Kailyn, Jaiden and Ben.

So the merge vote was quite interesting. With this being a 13 person merge, I tend to believe it is best to play a tad conservatively early on. This made it to where I figure the OG Palazzo would get a good 1-2 rounds of things their way before Keegan, Jake, and I mounted our little rebellion. As it turns out, I woke up to Jake and Keegan wanting me on call because Andrew was being as messy as he was on our swap tribe. Jake said that Andrew confirmed the OG Palazzo chat, something Keegan and I had already did, and that Keegan threw Jake's name out in said chat and Andrew shot it down. In reality, Andrew is actually the person that threw Jake out. He threw Jake's name out first on our swap tribe and he threw it out first here. I am really unsure what game Andrew really wanted to play beyond making sure he had options outside of the OG Palazzo. So from this point, we went around and got a feel for who we could pull. Joey had already expressed to Keegan that he felt nervous about there being a massive numerical OG Palazzo majority. The game is better for all of us if it is a bad more fluid. We ended up kicking Andrew to the curb in a 9-4 vote with Steph, Jeff, Pat, and Andrew voting in the minority. We talked in the OG Palazzo chat and those left out seemed to understand once we explained some of Andrew's missteps in PM's. This is good because I want some form of OG Palazzo to be there if it becomes something that I need down the line. At this current moment, I have heard no one bring up the super idol that is in Keegan and I's possession so I can only assume that we got lucky and no one actually checked the vault after we grabbed it. This could be due to lack of chips at the time or people just forgetting to. So for now, I shall assume everyone thinks that the super idol is vibing on the idol board, which is very good for me. Typically with a super idol, it would be super easy for you to get voted out the round after saving yourself with it. That is why I would like for it to get as deep into this game as possible. At the end of the day, the best part about having it is knowing its whereabouts and not having someone else possess it. So after TC, Jake, Keegan, and I hopped on call to celebrate. Jake revealed that Joey offered a 4 to him and Jake said I am good and should be included. This is how many current alliances are looking: - F2: Keegan and I - Three of Us: Keegan, Jake, and I - Meninism: Keegan, Jake, Joey, Jaiden, and I - OG Palazzo: Keegan, Joey, Jeff, Pat, Steph, and I This makes it so that the only people I do not have some sort of alliance with are Ben, Kailyn, John, and Xavier. I like these people but that is kind of how the game is shaking out currently. Ideally, I want Ben out next as it would allow my 3 to fade into the background and let what should be a consensus boot happen. After TC, multiple people expressed that Ben hadn't been very social. Now the current challenge is Touchy Subjects and I hope I do not get too many positive ones just because they could result in me being targeted. I think I am in a good spot to where I am doing well socially and having one on one's with everyone in some capacity, but I am hoping I am not perceived as any sort of power player at the moment. That fucked me in Trinity: Deception Island and I would not like for that to fuck me over here. I do think I have the connections to make it through for a little while. I see a path to the end but as I get closer I will have to evaluate whether or not that is a winning path to the end. Below is a short synopsis of my one on ones with people: - Steph: like nothing because I have found her super dry premerge - Jaiden: we have been talking about reading and writing and books and it is a good time - Jeff: he is a king and we have been talking about theatre and work and past games and shit - Jake: not as much one on one stuff due to our calls with Keegan - Keegan: not a lot but I have been updating him prior to updating the 3 chat - Kailyn: college and majors and such - Xavier: not a whole lot but he seems really sweet and messaged me "i am glad we voted together :)" after TC and I found that super wholesome - Ben: he has not responded in a bit but he wanted to strategize for the idol hunt with me - Joey: a decent bit of memes back and forth - Pat: lots of small talk but we have had some good convos and he seems to understand the Andrew move - John: we talked a bit about Atomic Nova Scotia Overall, I think I am doing well but not overtly so. This is ideal when we are still at Final 12 I think.

I think Palazzo will vote out Stephanie :) They hate women

Wow. I'm writing this after immunity results. I'm kind of just gonna word vomit. I checked off individual immunity from my checklist. And it's this challenge. The one that eliminated me in 26. The one that crushed 16 year old Jake's self confidence, and made him never want to play again. I got Hero, want to win, funniest, and stop talking which is kind of my favorite. I never ever thought I'd come back after 73 seasons, win THIS challenge, and in an individual setting. I changed history a little bit. And now I'm in the final 11. Ben is the easy vote this round, personally I'd love to see Stephanie go so that I can have Xavier to myself. But I can't push too hard. I controlled last vote, let someone else have a turn in the sun. I get to chill for once.

Now that’s character development!

Move now or lay low?

Final 12 feels pretty good, but final 11 will be so much better. If I make it through this vote, this will be the longest I’ve made it in a merge! And I’ll tie my placement with India :) Obviously I am still focused on my goal of making it thru til single digits, but I’m celebrating the small victories now so I don’t focus too hard on strategy that doesn’t need to take place this early. I feel like everyone is going to be looking at Ben as the dude they need to get rid of, so I won’t be surprised if he ends up going home. I don’t think that is the absolute worst thing for my game right now, but I’d prefer Stephanie or Xavier going before Ben at least for right now. I suppose I don’t have a huge voice on the subject but my pitch to keep Ben tomorrow is that it keeps Kailyn away from trying to work with Stephanie and Xavier who, frankly, need to be part of the next couple boots if we’re thinking big picture.. I don’t know if Joey will listen to me. Another option is maybe see if we can swing votes to Pat. Would anybody be upset to see Pat go home? Who knows. But basically my relationships are so little with Pat, Kailyn, Stephanie, and Xavier and idk what to do about them right now. I really just don’t wanna see those four link up and go super far because that would be kinda boring and really devastating LOL Another big win for me today was that I got put into the Meninist alliance with Jake, Joey, Livingston, and Keegan. While I’m not particularly fond of Livingston yet, we’ll see if he grows on me :) if not he can say adios. Since Joey is looking REALLY dangerous I’m gonna try to distance myself from him more and more right now. I don’t want people to think I’m drinking his kool aid bc I’m not, but I don’t want him to think I’ve turned on him bc I definitely want him to still give me that legacy advantage.. This morning I was thinking about how I can really give myself a better trajectory to the end and I’m a little bit confused still on what my winning conditions are for this game. What moves can I start making today that will set me up for six tribals down the line when surely the game is getting messy as fuck and I need protection from all sides? Maybe discrediting people like Xavier, Stephanie, Kailyn, Pat, and even Livingston aren’t the best things for me to do right now. I want to keep people who are in my corner safe such as Jeff, Keegan, Jake, and hopefully Joey but we’re almost to the halfway point of the game and it’s not going to be easy to keep everybody including myself safe. It’s no longer a question of whether I’ll win this or not. It’s a question of how I win. The merge is what counts I think.. everything before that was just the foundation for success. My foundation is cracked and not the best but I’m picking up the pace, I think. Whatever. If I have to use my social connections to Joey or John or whoever, I’m going to manipulate them to what benefits me. I don’t wanna go down that path of being messy but some day soon these ppl are gonna realize they should’ve never trusted me to begin with... because I’m coming for them.

Me almost forgetting confessionals were a thing. Ben is really popping off here today because he knows he's the boot. And now he has created a "straights alliance". This... is such a weird day. I wanna just go back to bed and not deal with all of this because it's weird.

6 years ago I wanted to pull of a move like this. I can get Ben to explode in main chat and with everyone. Pick fights, freak out, tank people’s games, just be a monster. And without anyone knowing, I’ll give him my safety without power. Idols will be flushed, mass panic, and I have immunity so I’m just chilling. We’re about to gamble baby.

Dear Diary, it’s me, Jaiden. Ben went off the deep end today and proved that he was a wasted spot on this season to begin with. This tribe is only big enough for one messy bitch, and not only that but I'm one big fat messy bitch, so sorry Ben but your time has come. 

I always get a bad feeling before tribal. I just hope Ben goes, and it’s easy and smooth and there’s no issues. 

I thought Kailyn was horny texting me, turns out she's just high........ Kailyn, 5:15 PM so is the vote tonight ben ?? i’m kind of [redacted] rn don’t know what’s going on 😳 Jaiden, 5:15 PM yeah :/ i feel bad bc ive grown to like ben but no one is offering any sort of alternative omg whats redacted Kailyn, 5:16 PM 😳😳😳 legally, it’s a joke 💖 Jaiden, 5:16 PM IM??? Kailyn, 5:16 PM JSDJKSKA Jaiden, 5:16 PM WHAT do u mean uimm i cant find the up emoji but like UP u know?? Kailyn, 5:16 PM SJHDJDKSLA yes 💖 Jaiden, 5:17 PM omg queeeeeeeen i love that for u JOKINGLY of course hehe Kailyn, 5:17 PM for the laugh 💖💖💖💖💖 thank u Jaiden, 5:17 PM god we stan r u gonna be at tribal?? Kailyn, 5:18 PM if i remember yes ofc 😇 me trying to do my french hw rn: 🧍‍♀️🧍🧍‍♂️ Jaiden, 5:19 PM HAHA good...i wanna see u pop awf hopefully HJAHHAHA i love the emojis Jaiden, Kailyn, 5:19 PM NSHDJSJAJ ofc 💖 Jaiden, 5:19 PM god im truely living my best life thru u rn tell me something french Kailyn, 5:22 PM je can’t remember a word of français rn bc i’m so h word 💖🙏🥵 Jaiden, 5:22 PM *HAPPY!!* Kailyn, 5:27 PM so true 😇 Jaiden, 5:27 PM wait i hope we mean the same h word im starting to think its not the one im thinking of....... Kailyn, 5:28 PM DJDJDJKSAKALKAK uhhh not me accidentally calling Xavier 😭😭😭😭 Jaiden, 5:29 PM DID HE ANSWER Kailyn, 5:30 PM YEAHHHSJDJSKLALA Jaiden, 5:31 PM WHAT HAPPENED IM FUIOHWODIH thats so fucking funy Kailyn, 5:31 PM NDDHJDKSS I SAW MY FACE POP UP ON THE SCREEN AND I WAS LIKE FUCK Jaiden, 5:31 PM H9uhiudheiuhfH Kailyn, 5:31 PM AND HE WAS LIKE. DID U CALL Jaiden, 5:31 PM VIDEO CALL????????????? Kailyn, 5:31 PM AND I WAS LIKE UHHH Jaiden, 5:31 PM IM DYING Kailyn, 5:32 PM AND HUNG UP Jaiden, 5:32 PM KAILYN Kailyn, 5:32 PM NSHDHDKSLSLA Jaiden, 5:32 PM IM LAUGHING SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKIGNM HARD Kailyn, 5:32 PM ate some Good chocolate on this night 😤👼 Jaiden, 5:33 PM oh my GOD you're talking about the H i DIDNT THINK U WERE TAKING ABT Kailyn, 5:33 PM JDDHJDKSKALAP WHAT DID U THINK Jaiden, 5:33 PM maybe calling xavier wasnt on accident i THOUGHT you were talking about being high but UGHFWO)DJH CHOCOLATE IS AN APHRODISIAC Kailyn, 5:34 PM YEAH I AM WTF Jaiden, 5:34 PM WHAT] Kailyn, 5:34 PM DJJDDJKSLSPAPS NOOOOOO Jaiden, 5:34 PM I TOHUGHT Kailyn, 5:34 PM SHJDJDKDOEOEOWOWA Jaiden, 5:34 PM OMFG Kailyn, 5:34 PM BCUCNCNDODNDIEOEKOEW Jaiden, 5:34 PM WHEN U SAID CALLED XAVIER AND THE CHOCOLATE Kailyn, 5:34 PM WHAT THE FUCKODKSKSKS NOOOOOOO Jaiden, 5:34 PM I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING Kailyn, 5:34 PM DBHDJSKAKAKS BYE NOOOOOO DJDHDJSKALLAA Jaiden, 5:34 PM IM DETLTING MY FUCKING ACCOUNT IM DLEETING MY FUCKING ACCOT Kailyn, 5:34 PM HSHDHDKSKALA

[ckret2]

Out of all the human music, what do you think Ghidorahs heads would enjoy most?

It took over three thousand words to answer this question and I enjoyed every second of it.

So!

Did you know that dogs can communicate with each other through their pee?

I swear this is relevant to the question.

Dogs pee to mark their territory. And they have an incredibly sensitive sense of smell compared to humans. From a few drops of pee, they can tell another dog’s sex, whether the dog’s in heat if it’s female, whether the dog’s been spayed/neutered, which direction it was traveling, how long ago it was in the area, whether the dog’s stressed or sick…

So if you ask a dog what their favorite pee scent is, what are they gonna say? Probably something relevant to the data they’ve evolved to put into and get out of dog pee. They’re probably gonna say something like “mine, because it’s familiar and means that I’m home somewhere safe,” or “the smell of a lady that’s dtf” or “the smell of stress because I’m an evil dog sadist that relishes other dogs’ suffering” or “the smell of neutered dogs because it means there’s gonna be less fights in this neighborhood between horny dogs” or “i don’t care as long as there’s LOTS of dogs because play pals!!!” Something like that, probably. I’m making this up as I go.

If you ask a human what their favorite dog pee scent is, the answers you get are probably going to be “They have different scents???” or “idk, whichever pee smells the least" or “my puppy’s pee smells different when she’s sick, so, uh, whichever scent is Not That One.”

Ask a human what their favorite kind of music is, or assign a favorite kind of music to a human character, and it tells you something about them. If they say that they like 90s anime themes & JRPG soundtracks, then that’s going to tell you something about them. It’s going to tell you that either they’re from Japan and grew up with that on TV, or they’re a weeb. “Counterpoint: maybe it just tells you that they like that kind of music?” Yeah but where were they gonna stumble on that music if they aren’t either from Japan or a weeb? If they only like the music because of its sound, then they would also be interested in Hasidic Jewish music, right? After all, anime/JRPG music and Hasidic music sound a lot alike:

https://ckret2.tumblr.com/post/187677604232/krakenpocalypse-jewishmagpie-tlbodine

But you never see people say “I like JRPG soundtracks and Hasidic music,” because people don’t like music because of the way it sounds. They like it because of the way it sounds AND because they were exposed to it (you can’t enjoy music you don’t know about) AND because they were exposed to it frequently* AND because they feel at home in a community that values that kind of music AND because that kind of music is accessible to them AND because that kind of music has positive associations for them AND because either they heard a bit of that music and sought out more just like it or because they’re in a place where they were passively exposed to a whole lot of that music… etc etc etc. 

(*Fun psychology fact! Understanding certain sounds as “music” is learned, not just innate—if you hear a new song and it immediately sounds pleasantly musical to you, it’s because you’ve heard enough songs similar to it that your brain auto-interprets it as music. Which is one of the reasons why music in genres that you don’t listen to as often might “kind of sound all the same” or “blend together” or fail to hit any emotional chords in you the way that songs in genres you listen to all the time do. It’s not because you found the One True Emotionally Gripping Musical Genre and everyone else is listening to genres that don’t have that emotional punch for some reason; it’s because your brain is tuned, just like an instrument’s strings, to resonate with those kinds of songs, and other people’s brains are tuned to resonate with other kinds.)

I swear all of this is still relevant to Ghidorah headcanons.

So anyway, if somebody tells you that they’re into anime themes and JRPG soundtracks? It tells you either they grew up in Japan or they’re a weeb. If they tell you they’re into anime themes and Hasidic music? Then they grew up in Japan or they’re a weeb, and also they’re Jewish or close with Jewish folks which is why they were exposed to Hasidic music; OR, they’re a tumblr user who was into one of the genres, saw that same hundred-thousand-note post I linked above, and looked up the other genre. If a millennial says their favorite band is Backstreet Boys, that implies something very different about their overall musical tastes—and possibly their social circle, their fashion taste, their TV and movie preferences—than if they say their favorite band is Evanescence. That’s not to say you can’t be a goth-as-fuck dressed-in-all-black purple-dyed-hair vampire-lit-devouring Grown-Up Emo Kid if your favorite band was Backstreet Boys—but it doesn’t correlate as highly as Evanescence does, does it? Someone whose favorite band sings about the light of Jesus filling their soul probably has very different religious beliefs from someone whose favorite band sings about blowing Satan in a cemetery.

And all of those associations are massively intensified if we’re talking about fictional characters instead of real people. Me, grown up goth that I am, driving to work singing along with Evanescence songs and songs about blowing Satan—when I was a kid I had a phase where Backstreet Boys was my favorite band, and what’s that say about me, my personality, and my overall identity? Ultimately, not a lot, except that they were everywhere when I was a kid, I could name four of their songs (more than most artists!), and I thought three of them were pretty good. People’s tastes are varied, weird, pick up strange chunks, and drift around, and it doesn’t always tell you something deep about their character.

But, if you create a goth character but say when they were a child Backstreet Boys was their favorite band, why did you, the writer, assign them a favorite band that goes against their type so hard? What are you trying to say about them? Did something happen in childhood that changed them from the kind of kid who’s into pop (generally perceived in fiction and sometimes reality to mean a person is normal, well-adjusted, optimistic, mainstream, average, boring—or “has good taste” to other people who like pop) into the kind of kid who’s into goth music (generally perceived in fiction and sometimes reality to indicate a person is sad/angry/anxious, pessimistic, counterculture, overtly rejects the mainstream, weird, mysterious—or “has good taste” to other people who like goth music)?

Is it because something sad happened in their childhood and changing their style/music was how they coped? Is it because they met someone important to them who opened their eyes to The Beauty Of The Dark And Macabre? Is it because they were only allowed to listen to parent-approved pop as a kid and chose to dive into the most out-there genre they could find as an act of rebellion? Is it because they became a vampire and that’s apparently just what vampires do? Is it because they realized they were unconsciously faking being attracted to guys because they thought that was normal and picked an appropriate boy band to latch onto, but when puberty was kicking in at age 13 they saw a cute girl with black nails and clothes at the mall and went “hecc im love girls” and grabbed the first album they could find with a female vocalist in similar makeup on the cover?

What’s this character’s backstory? What’s the significance of that decision? Why did you give this character that favorite band? Why did you choose to have this music in this character’s life? Why pop, punk, jazz, rock, metal, rap, country? Why American, Japanese, Indian, Spanish, Arabic, South African? Why that mainstream, or why that obscure? Just the decision to make their favorite artist “Benjamin who plays his guitar at the local coffee shop” versus “Veniamin who plays his guitar in a coffee shop in Greece and puts the videos on YouTube” tells you something about whether they find their Obscure Favorite Artist in the local community or in Internet deep dives (unless they actually live in Greece). All those decisions tell, suggest, or imply something about that character’s position within their surrounding human culture.

That’s the key here: within their surrounding human culture. What music a character listens to suggests a whole lot about the millions of intricate connections they have with their surrounding culture when that character too is a human.

Assign a favorite kind of music to a non-human character, and you say something about them, too. What you say about them, before you say anything else, is “the way that this character’s brain is wired to interpret sound waves into pitch and rhythm is nearly identical to the way that human brains are wired to interpret sound waves; and furthermore, they’re familiar enough with human culture that they know and recognize different ‘categories’ of music and pick categories that they do like based on their assigned similarities versus categories they don’t like based on their assigned similarities.”

And that ain’t something that can be said about Ghidorah.

See I told you all that would be relevant.

To say “Ghidorah likes rock,” you first have to give Ghidorah the capacity to differentiate rock from rap, from country, from Bollywood, from 8-bit chiptunes, from whatever the fuck Tchaikovsky was up to—and even humans aren’t born with the innate ability to sort songs into categories like that. Hell, even humans who are familiar with music have a hard time telling apart different kinds of music the deeper and deeper you get into specific genres. Like, do you know the difference between Electroclash and Filthy Electrohouse? Probably not? Would saying that Filthy Electrohouse is Electroclash with a house kick help? No? What about saying that Filthy Electrohouse is basically the same as normal Electrohouse except that Electrohouse evolved out of House whereas Filthy Electrohouse evolved out of Electroclash? No? Sound like gibberish to you? You probably know the difference between rock and metal, though, even if only vaguely. Try explaining it to an alien who’s never heard either genre before. To the alien whatever you say is going to sound like explaining Filthy Electrohouse because they haven’t got any of the background understanding of the genres to sort them apart.

(And if you want to know more about what the hell is this Filthy Electro French Clash House thing, may I recommend https://music.ishkur.com/# as an absolutely terrifying but very interesting guide to the complete history of electronic music and its subgenres? I like to click on random things and listen to them. The above genres can be found way at the bottom under Eurotrash.)

So the tl;dr is: I can’t give Ghidorah favorite music. Not in a normal “oh, they prefer to listen to death metal/Italian opera/Tibetan throat singing/golden oldies/traditional children’s lullabies” way because all of that, any of that, implies a knowledge of and connection to human culture that not only do they lack, but just imagining asserting a preferred genre/artist like that mentally strains my internal willing suspension of disbelief.

And I had to say all of the above to say that tl;dr because, like, listen. Listen. “I can’t give Ghidorah favorite music” is a boring, uninteresting answer. It’s a lack of information. “I can’t give Ghidorah favorite music because the vast cultural background knowledge necessary to understand music on humanity’s terms is as alien to Ghidorah as the nuances of dog pee smell are alien to humans.” That, that actually says a lot about Ghidorah, and I think that it says something interest.

So with all that said! Lemme tell you what kind of music they do like.

Because they do like music. A whole lot. Lots of music from lots of alien species.

It’s just human music that’s unfamiliar to them. They will gain familiarity with human music—as soon as they gain access to a means to hear human music (and I do have that in the works!)—but the way they interpret and categorize it won’t necessarily have any correlation with how humans do.

Ghidorah’s wired for singing. Loooves singing. I haven’t decided yet whether that’s a natural dorat thing and over time they added in music from other species as they learned it, or if it’s specifically a trick that they picked up after being fused together and needing a way to weaponize their empath abilities. In either case, their singing is tied directly into their empath capabilities. Half of the “songs” they know aren’t “songs” in any conventional sense, but “the sounds that they figured out would interact directly with the way a target species’ brain functions in order to cause whatever emotion they want their target to feel.” I’ve talked about this before in my Ghidorah-as-siren post. https://ckret2.tumblr.com/post/185784244462/ghidorah-as-siren

(Things like that—specific sounds that directly cause emotions in a species due to an instinctive response rather than a learned reaction—are precedented in real life! There’s a certain sound frequency that causes humans to feel fear/panic/dread/paranoia and sometimes hallucinate ghosts, and it’s theorized that this sound might be found at a lot of “haunted” locations: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2003/oct/16/science.farout )

So, when Ghidorah does this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xA-QJUyBdJU

That’s literally a song, from their perspective. It’s a short song, but it’s a song. It’s a “become afraid and rampage against anything threatening (which means everything)” song. At the end of The Glorious Resurrection of Bouvet Island (here https://ckret2.tumblr.com/post/187594976987/the-glorious-resurrection-of-bouvet-island ) when Rodan is “ whistling a high soothing note” and then they do this:

“It took him a while to notice that the middle head had started copying his whistle, letting out a single endless note at the exact same pitch. Then the other two joined in, turning it into a high, trilling, reverberating sound, an “ii-lii-lii-lii-lii.” The sound got into his head, made him feel like he was floating. Made him feel like he was in the safest place in the universe.”

They heard Rodan making a sound (something like a single long high-pitched bird whistle) which Rodan instinctively knows as a “soothe somebody” sound; they learned the sound, and from it learned something about how Rodan understands and processes sound; and they immediately turned it around and used it to soothe him. When Rodan immediately feels Super Safe, that’s not just because they’re being all nice to him—that’s full-on song-based dorat empath mind control he’s under the effects of.

So a loud trumpeting roar that induces “be afraid and smash things!” feelings is a song. A single high-pitched continuous note that induces “you’re extremely hella safe!” feelings is a song. So far, those are the only two Earth songs they know, because those are the only two songs they’ve got that work on Earthlings. One they composed themselves, and one they remixed from a song Rodan accidentally taught them.

Based on this, the human definition of “music” and Ghidorah definition of “music” are very different. Our music can be included somewhere inside his definition; but his definition is far broader than ours and includes things we’d never hear as musical.

Ghidorah can sing, like, non-mind-controlling songs too. He does do that. Just sing for fun rather than for megalomaniacal world-destroying reasons. Songs composed for normal reasons! All the ones he knows at this point are alien but he could sing them. There’s a mention in the one-shot from Gigan’s perspective that he likes Ghidorah’s singing and wants to expose him to more.

However, he doesn’t have to separate “normal songs that sound like actual music” from songs that can evoke emotions. Especially if the song itself is somehow intended to evoke an emotion, it’s pretty easy for Ghidorah to learn the emotion that it’s supposed to cause and actually weave that into the song itself. Because, generally, if a species goes “ah yes this song should inspire This Emotion,” then they’re likely to include sounds that physiologically/psychologically help induce that feeling in the brain. Humans do it! So if he’s singing a sad-sounding song with sad lyrics, the odds are good that if a member of the species that produced the song hears it, they won’t just think it sounds sad, they’ll be telepathically forced to feel sad.

The songs they most enjoy singing are ones that can make use of all their musical abilities. Of course, they’ve got their voices—and when they’re singing, they tend to go for higher pitch ranges. You ever hear this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eogtlyDg4Y

Dude can pull off soprano if he wants. If they do hear enough human songs to be familiar with them, yes, they’re going to sing along with the music—and yes, they’re going to do it even if they don’t know the words, which they won’t, because they’ve probably never heard a human voice except when it’s screaming loud enough that they can faintly pick it up from five hundred feet above. They’re going to sing anyway. Don’t pretend you’ve never tried to sing along with a song in a language you don’t know and ended up going “AAA LALALA DA DADA GSDKLFJGLKJ” as you sing.

But like it’s not gonna be limited to human voices because they’ve been all over the galaxy, what separates a “voice” from an “instrument”? Nothing! They can sing violin & viola parts. They can sing brass instruments. They can sing piano.

You know that their tails rattle? Like rattlesnakes? They’ve got maracas on their tails. They can keep rhythm to music with their tails. Or their feet, if they’re on a hard enough surface that they can tap their claws.

You know this scene? With the wing thing?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhDdXXr9dfQ

Ever heard a tesla coil sing?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-f6GijQXaBI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ee5evlN8Bbs

Yeah they can do that. Probably with greater actual range than a tesla coil. I imagine it works best on synthesizer music and some electric guitar. Probably other things too that I haven’t thought of, but uh I listen to synthesizer & electric guitar so that’s what I think about when I imagine singing space dragons lmao.

Their preferred music, therefore, is going to be stuff that 1) give all three heads parts to sing, 2) also lets them use their tails and wings, and 3) ideally, gives them some interesting emotions to steal/replicate/inflict on others. Which is very broad! Covers a lot of things, no doubt!

Eventually, yeah, they’re going to probably develop more specific human musical preferences—but the preferences are going to be based on their own alien criteria, and it’s also going to be based on what human music they have access to. At least initially? That means that their musical taste is going to be limited to whatever music they can pick up on AM radio in the Gulf of Mexico just off the northeast tip of Mexico. Which, depending on the exact stations available where the Rio Grande dumps into the ocean will probably mean “the current chart toppers in Mexico & the US” and “extremely local Mexican music.“ 

It took over three thousand words to reach that answer. I hope you found the journey rewarding.

[hardlyfatal]

gary’s writing workshop: lesson 3:

Plot Structuring, Part 1

What is a story? Stories are accounts of transformations: situations, people, attitudes, establishments. If something isn’t changing, what is there to write about? Nothing.

Our job, as writers, is to describe the change and repercussions so that they’re effectively and entertainingly communicated to our readers with as much readability as possible. There are three components to managing it, which I’ll be going over here..

In this lesson, I’m going to ask you to change how you perceive and write stories.1

1. Plot Points & Purpose

Instead of looking at scenes from the outside – instead of looking at them from the POV of the reader, and considering their entertainment value – I want you to look at them from the inside. Or, rather, from below. From what basis, to what purpose, do they spring?

Scenes do not exist just to be entertaining. The wow factor is great, but it’s the icing on this particular cake. You can dress up a scene with elaborate setting, intense dialogue, brisk pacing, and boatloads of UST… but if they don’t move the plot along, they’re like a broken pencil: pointless.

Thus the new way to look at stories, at individual scenes, is to scrutinize them for purpose. The only purpose or reason any scene should make it into a story is because it moves the plot to its next point. These are in fact called plot points, and every scene requires one.

It’s a pretty existential way of looking at the matter, but it’s necessary, in order to create a satisfying tale that flows logically from one place to the next, that feels continuous and makes sense. Making sense is a very important, and often overlooked, aspect of storytelling.

Let’s use my story, Shoot the Moon, as an example. Going into it, I knew my overarching story premise: I wanted them to meet, hate each other, but slowly grow to learn about, become attracted to, eventually love each other, and then part. Not knowing that they actually lived in the same city, they meet again and reestablish their relationship. Finally, they find the motivation to overcome their personal demons to be together.

If you tease apart those plot points, you’ll see there are three acts:

They meet, hate each other, but slowly grow to learn about, become attracted to, and eventually love each other.

They part, not knowing that they lived in the same city, then meet again.

They overcome their misapprehensions about each other, and personal demons, to be together.

So how do I get them from A (beginning of each arc) to B (end of each arc)? The chapters in each arc have to have purpose; they have to have a point. Thus each scene was created to serve the purpose needed. A few examples:

I wanted Jaime to see how loving and gentle Brienne could be in contrast to her appearance and behavior to that point, so I created the scene where she shows the twins the bird eggs.

I wanted Brienne that, for all Jaime’s dickishness, he carried pain and perhaps deserved a bit of understanding and patience, so I created the scene where she confronts him and he reveals how he’s been parenting the twins by himself since his wife died.

I wanted to show Brienne’s persisting lack of self-esteem and reinforce Jaime’s attraction to her, so I created the scene where Arianne opened the door in just a robe, exposing most of her goodies, and Jaime hardly noticing because he was paying attention to Brienne instead.

As long as your story is driven by plot points– that make sense – that’s it. You’re probably suspicious of how simple it is, but it really is just that uncomplicated.

Despite that simplicity, I see a lot of people including gratuitous scenes, the purpose of which is to stroke the reader’s kink for whatever (hurt/comfort, fluff, smut, drama, etc.) instead of to push the plot forward. Either nothing much occurs in the scene, or it’s merely a reiteration of plot development and exposition that has already occurred before.

In the case of the latter, you need to have self-discipline and choose one or the other. There is no need to repeat yourself in romantic fiction – it just bogs things down and kills the pacing. Redundancy is wasted time and effort. If you’ve made a point, the point is made and does not need repeating. Have you noticed yet that I’ve said the same thing four times in this paragraph, just worded differently? Yeah.

In the case of the former, it just needs to go. If it’s dead weight, it’s dead weight. Be like Marie Kondo: thank it and let it go.

That’s not to say that hurt/comfort, fluff, smut, and drama can’t be included. They absolutely can and should be; they just need to have a point, and you only need to make that point once.

The point of a hurt/comfort scene could be one of them learning to trust the other, or discovering they have the capacity to be gentle and caring with another person, or that being vulnerable – with the right person, i.e. the other half of the couple – is not only safe but freeing.

The point of fluff could be one of them revealing they feel secure enough to let their inhibitions down and show spontaneous affection, or to show their joy in being able to openly express their love instead of having to keep it hidden and fearful.

The point of smut could be one of them developing the confidence to be a more active or even dominant lover, or show their surprise to be given pleasure for their sake instead of used for their partner’s satisfaction before their own, i.e. that they matter as well and that they doesn’t have to sacrifice their own pleasure in order to make the other person happy.

The point of a dramatic scene could be an expression of any of these – trust, capacity for gentleness, security in the other’s affections, confidence, realization of self-worth, revelations of secrets – possibly with some sort of action-y component. Is there a dramatic revelation that will somehow directly impact the romance between the couple?

To illustrate what I mean, I chose to deconstruct a scene from the show specifically because it is so spare of dialogue (relatively speaking), to show you how effective scenes can be even when there’s not a lot of verbal exposition, at least about the true reason for the scene.

This scene has nothing to do with her loyalties to the Starks or Catelyn Stark, though it may seem that way at first. It exists to give Jaime an opportunity to get to know Brienne better in ways that speak to her core personality and character.

Example:

TV!Brienne takes on three Stark men – who had killed a group of prostitutes after servicing Lannister soldiers – while Jaime watches. Youtube link, if you’d like to watch it to see exactly what happens..

Reason it was included:

To give the audience not only more evidence of her fighting prowess but also insight to her thoughts/feelings (her pity for the prostitutes in particular and of women’s plight in being under the control of men in general, and that she’s empathetic to the point of being vengeful on behalf of others who have suffered).

To make the audience understand that Jaime is now aware that Brienne is a formidable fighter; is not an empty braggart/can back up her claims of ‘knocking men into the dust’; is passionate enough about her convictions to fight and kill for them; is brave enough to face, and skilled enough to defeat, three men at once; is more committed to her loyalty to other women than she is to the Stark cause.

What was accomplished:

Jaime sees her as more than just her unusual appearance or another random person who loathes him like everyone else or a Stark lackey. She becomes a real person to him in this scene.

2. Making the Reader Give a Damn

You have to retain the reader’s interest from one chapter to the next. If you lose them along the way, you’ve lost any reason to keep going with the story. I know we all tell ourselves “I’m just having fun!” and “I’m doing this for myself!” but I think we all agree, though maybe just secretly, that it’s kind of bullshit: stories are made to be read by someone, somewhere.

If a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? If no one reads our stories, was it worth the effort of writing them? If we’re boring the pants off our readers, why bother? Maybe it’s because you love to know you’re making others happy, maybe it’s because you love the appreciation you receive, whatever. IDK your life. But for the most part, there’s some external validation going on, and if others are quitting your story in the middle, or foregoing your stories entirely because past things you’d written had been unreadable, you’re just shouting into a void.

The main issues where readership hangs in the balance are pacing and description (setting, blocking, inner voice/narration). We’ll go over all of these to a greater degree in later lessons. For now, I’ll just say… if these are compromised, you’re going to be giving a skimpier, shallower, boring-er version instead of the lushly-detailed story it could have been.

3. Making Sense

Getting them sucked in with your word-picture and the flow of plot points is only two-thirds of the job: you also need to make sense. And before you start yapping about suspension of disbelief, yes, that’s a thing, but it only goes so far. There are certain premises than can stretch credulity and still work, but others that go too far and just ruin it.

This is one of our Battles of the Balance: you have to find how far you can go until it just doesn’t work and starts to feel stupid. It negatively impacts readability because it’s so outlandish that it tugs the reader from their reading trance and makes them wonder WTF you’re trying to do because what you just wrote is highly improbable. It kills the story’s readability. It’s important to stay grounded and retain an open mind about your balance in this regard. You need to be able to analyze what you’re doing and seeing if it is going over the top rather than blindly trusting your first impulses and, worse, ignoring feedback that indicates that you need to tone it down.

This is why the work of A Certain Someone fails: she contends that human people are able to produce bodily secretions to a volume that is not physically possible. She loses us because she forewent logic for the payoff she was reaching for (presumably arousal?). Instead of us getting all into the smut and romance, grinning dirtily, instead we frown and grimace because we’re imagining rivulets and puddles and sodden carpets and crusty mattresses, etc. And her ego prevents her from understanding that she is imbalanced in this way, with the result that she keeps churning out fic after revolting fic that many potential readers avoid.

It’s also why Mary Sues and Gary Stus spur such a knee-jerk loathing in so many people. It’s fine to give your characters fine, admirable qualities, but if you heap them on, or don’t counter them with just-as-significant flaws, it will no longer make sense because it’s illogical that anyone would be so fantastic and lacking in defects.

Chekhov’s Gun3 vs. Deus Ex Machina

Chekhov’s Gun2 and Deus Ex Machina are two sides of the same coin: the need for continuity. If it happens earlier, there needs to be resolution later. If it happens later, there needs to be mention (aka ”foreshadowing”) earlier.

Chekhov’s Gun is a literary principle stating that elements in a story have to be relevant. The presence of superfluous details constitute ‘false promises’ on the part of the author, because they’re offering a concept to the reader that will never have any point.

This doesn’t mean you should never mention non-essential things that have no bearing on the plot for fear of creating Chekhov’s guns willy-nilly; you need to create ambiance with description of setting, etc. It just means don’t make a point of mentioning something beyond its level of importance to the story. Brienne’s nose is mentioned as being crooked to emphasize her ugliness as well as symbolize her atypically unfeminine lifestyle since the huge majority of Westerosi women don’t get their noses broken, due to their less active lifestyles. Jaime’s nose is mentioned… never, because it doesn’t matter.

Disclaimer: I am terrible at the Chekhov’s Gun thing, because I have a shitty memory and will put in a detail that I fully intend to do something with… only to completely forget it exists and never mention it again. This is bad. Do not do as I do on this one. I mention it because it’s a continuing issue I struggle with and continue to work on. My poor betas...

Deux Ex Machina is a plot device whereby a problem, conundrum, obstacle, or mystery is solved when an unlikely resolution presents itself without any hints or foreshadowing earlier in the plot, often in such a convenient way that it feels contrived and anti-climactic.

Example that I just cooked up: The big fight in King’s Landing, Jaime and Brienne fight a pitched battle to reach the throne room where Cersei is seated upon her pile of swords. Together, they manage to defeat Gregor Clegane and just as they’re about to confront the queen, Arya pops up3 from behind the throne to tug on Cersei’s left earlobe. Turns out, Cersei is actually an android and had been malfunctioning for a long time, hence her erratic behavior. Bran had a vision about where her off-switch was, and used magical mind-speak to tell his sister how to cut Cersei’s power. Et voilà!

Example that actually happened in the show: Dragons fly at the speed of light and can whisk people around a continent comparable in size to the United States in an hour or two. Similarly, ships can navigate long distances at a fraction of the time supported by actual reality, and horses can rocket down the Kingsroad like Maseratis, if the speed with which Brienne and Pod made it from Winterfell to the dragon pit is any indication4.

Homework

If you are currently working on a story: create an outline of its plot in terms of each scene’s purpose. Identify any gaps in the progression of plot points, and come up with ways to bridge those gaps.

If you are not currently working on a story: do this with one of the stories you have already published. Think up what you could have done differently, or what you could have inserted, to connect the loose ends.

If you are not currently writing anything, and have never published anything: Take one of my stories, nothing too short because it won’t have enough transitions to make the effort meaningful, and nothing too long because LOL this is supposed to be fun, and do as instructed above. I suggest Signs of Life, Vision of Love, or Full Fathom Five because of their middling lengths. Identify gaps, and suggest fixes for them.

Remember to look for connections and flow from scene to scene, NOT chapter to chapter.

Footnotes

1 – Unless you already do this, in which case… well done! Carry on! 

2 – This refers to Anton Chekhov, Russian author, not any Star Trek character.

3 – I SWEAR TO GOD I wrote this months ago, before the last season. Wish I hadn’t been prescient about it... *weeps*

4 – Like, I know about the compression of time through editing but COME ON.

© 2019 to me

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, CHARLIE! You’ve been accepted for the role of GONERIL. Admin Jen: You have no idea how happy we are that you’ll be bringing us Verona’s favorite firebrand, Charlie! Like you pointed out, it’s easy to write Grace off as just that -- a whirlwind of chaos and spite with nothing more to her other than that, but you’ve definitely succeeded in bringing her out of the shadow of that impression and exploring everything else that makes her shine. There is so much more to her than meets the eye, and your diligence and care when it comes to portraying that left us completely thrilled to have her flourish in your hands. We’re so glad to have you back, and we can’t wait to see what more you have in store for Grace! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | Charlie

Age | 22

Preferred Pronouns | she/her

Activity Level | 5-6/10. I’m a law student and working 20 hours per week. So it’s safe to say that my rl can be pretty stressful. In addition, I like to take my time with my replies so that I can actually be satisfied with how they turned out. I’ve found in the past that it’s the easiest and most efficient for me to do replies as inspiration strikes and queue them to post every 2-3 days which I plan to do as well. However, I’m available every day almost all day long on Tumblr and Discord to chat and plot. 

Timezone | CET

How did you find the rp?  | Originally, through Jen, but this time because I’ve been a part of the group before.

Current/Past RP Accounts | may I introduce you to  https://ofbellos.tumblr.com/ and https://ofdupont.tumblr.com/

IN CHARACTER

Character | Grace Daly aka Goneril. 

What drew you to this character? | Goneril is a character I’ve been intrigued by ever since I first stumbled across the rp. Back then, she was still a taken character so I’ve never really bothered thinking about whether I’d apply for her or not and when she was reopened, I had my fair share of characters that were keeping me busy. 

Somehow this fascination I have with her has never fully gone away, though. There’s something about her, her passion, her fierceness, how unwilling she is to be anybody but herself (and to hell with everybody who has a problem with that, quite literally, you'll probably end up dead if you insult her) that just really intrigues me. I feel like it’s easy to assume that Grace is downright crazy or doesn’t think at all about the consequences her actions might have, that she might not even have the mental capability of doing so. But while she’s definitely lead by her emotions and doesn’t fully know how to control her temper (and mostly doesn’t even want to), she doesn’t act without thinking about the consequences beforehand, very often, she acts a certain way despite having thought about it before. The ‘problem’ is that, in most cases, she simply doesn’t give a damn. She lives to provoke, to toy with the line of right and wrong and to run right through the wall that exists on that line for most people simply because she enjoys it. A part of her is eager to see just how far she can go simply because the search excites her. It’s most of the time not really about the other person (except for the times somebody managed to piss her off, which, admittedly, is not the hardest thing to do) but mostly about herself and what she wants to do. Everything else is secondary.  And quite frankly, there’s nothing that she hates more than being bored. She lives for the thrill, be it the thrill caused by a good old bar fight, killing somebody with your bare hands, a steaming hot fuck or a simple argument. And the power of winning the things listed before. In some way, everything’s a fight for her and the big thrill of life is in that fight and winning it. After all, Grace Daly is nothing if not a winner. Losing isn’t an option. However, despite what you might think at the first (or even second) glance, she’s not just all fun and games. There’s this blazing hot desire burning inside her to conquer and rule her own kingdom. I’m gonna stop right here because I’m gonna be exploring this aspect further in the future plot section. However, I definitely see these various facets Grace has to offer that are so unique to her in my eyes and I really want to explore those in greater detail. Grace is bold, loud, unapologetic, reckless and untamable all wrapped up in one fiery ball of chaos and she’s definitely a force to be reckoned with, not just despite but because of how unpredictable she is. It might have not gotten her where she wants to go so far, but that certainly doesn’t mean that there isn’t a certain kind of power in it.

She’s so unlike any other character I’ve ever truly played before and that’s one of the many reasons why I actually thought long and hard about whether to apply for her or not. She’ll be quite the challenge for me, I’m not ashamed to admit that, but part of the reason why I’m still so into rping after all these years is the desire to challenge myself and hopefully become a better writer in the end. Grace Daly will without a hint of a doubt be a challenge for me, but I’m so ready for that. Also, her uniqueness compared to other characters I’ve played - even characters I’ve already written here in DV - makes it possible for me to explore other plots, connections, and interactions I haven’t gotten to explore before which really excited me as well.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? | 

I’ve added some future plot points that are more ideas than already thought out plots which I’ve called ‘ideas’ instead of ‘plots’. For a better understanding and cohesiveness, I’ve mixed them together so that they fit contentwise, I hope it isn’t too confusing. If it is, I want to apologize in advance. 

PLOT 01

The Daly Sisters own a huge space of my heart when it comes to this rp. There dynamic is so unlike any other in the rp and, quite frankly, I cannot wait to sink my claws into that. I’d really love a family face-off, especially between Regina and Grace. After all, one of the reasons why Grace joined the Montagues in the first place - even if she’d never admit it out loud - is the fact that little, boring Regina got promoted to Captain by Cosimo after spending only a blink of an eye with the Capulets. She never earned her name the way Grace did, she did nothing to deserve it. And you can be dead sure that once word got out that Regina has been promoted to the position of a hitman - and sooner or later Grace would have found out, nothing stays secret in Verona forever -, she’d have been fuming. It’s just another promotion she doesn’t deserve. And here Grace is working her ass off - Grace Daly style, obviously - and has nothing to see for it. Actually, fuming would be a nice word. So yeah, I feel like a sisterly confrontation is overdue in Grace’s eyes. If you can’t ignore an annoying bug, you have to squash it to finally get rid of it. And Regina Daly is a bug Grace has been dying to step on for quite some while now. She tried to ignore her when she was younger, forget all about her existence in the first place, but apparently, that’s not an option anymore. So yes, I can totally see a sisterly face-off happen in the near future because sneaky scheming and planning to get rid of somebody isn’t really Grace’s style. She tends to rely on sheer brutality and cruelty and wouldn’t it be quite poetic to have one last fight to finally set an end to this argument (idk if you can even call it that cause I’m pretty sure Regina doesn’t give a damn about Grace)? Grace at least would love the poetry of it.

IDEA 01

This idea is related to the first plot in some way. It’s pretty established in her bio that Grace has never been willing to give her two younger sisters the time of day and would like to forget that she’s ever shared a home, not to mention blood ties with them. However, I want to explore just how deep this disinterest goes. I know for a fact that she wouldn’t shy away from killing Regina in cold blood. However, what about Catherine? Is there some small inkling in the dark hole that is her heart that does care for her? I’m not sure, but I want to find out. At the same time, I also want to explore if there’s actually a person (apart from herself) that she cares for or rather cares enough about enough to sacrifice? I don’t know if there’s a positive answer to that question, even though Grace is only human, after all, and it’s in the human nature to want to be connected to other people, but I just want to explore this question further.  

IDEA 02

If I cannot bend Heaven, I’ll raise Hell. Even though you wouldn’t necessarily suspect it, Grace is ambitious as they come. Blame it on her parents for always treasuring her like grace from God, telling her she can everything she sets her dark eyes on, but she’s always known that she’ll be a queen an empress one day. And she won’t stop at anything to get her way. So far, she’s had very little success, though. After all, despite having been involved with the mob for years now, she’s still nothing more than a soldier, a little pawn in the game of others.  While I’m not sure if she’d make a good ruler (in fact, I know the opposite is the case), she’s definitely a conqueror. Or has the potential to be once she figures out how to make the best use of the anger, passion, and fire that runs through her veins. She’s smart enough to figure it out. After all, as it’s already said in her bio “Every move she made was calculated, every strike meticulously aimed”. She definitely has the mental capacities for it. I think her biggest problem is that she needs to learn how to control her emotions and not have them influence her moves and the goal of her plans as they do now. However, learning is hard (read: almost impossible) when you’re as self-conceited as Grace is. I want to explore that struggle further, this dissonance of ambition & desire and her temper & boisterousness. 

PLOT 02 a

This plot is related to the second idea. 

If you can’t learn how to balance out your own strengths, you either need to accept that you might never reach your goal or team up with somebody who can provide what you’re lacking. The first one is clearly no option and the second one is not exactly the first thing that comes to your mind considering we’re talking about Grace either. After all, Grace isn’t really much of a team player either for she’s too selfish for that, not to mention too unpredictable, unreliable and many other things. However, I want her to seak out a partnership nonetheless. This is not to say that she’ll suddenly turn into a team-player or people person all of a sudden - hell no. No, it’d be a play really. It’d mostly be an idea born out of an alcoholic haze, nothing that serious at first. It’d be with somebody, who’s about just as desperate as she is to get to the top, and a partnership that is already doomed for a start because she plans to get rid of them as soon as the situation improves for her. She sure as hell doesn’t plan for one second to share the spotlight, they’ll just be a tool in some way. Not because she’d be manipulating them into thinking that she sees it as a real partnership, she’s no schemer, after all. No, they’d get into this with both eyes open and be ambitious enough to do it nonetheless, probably even thinking to cut her loose the first chance they get as well.  

PLOT 02 b

As it’s kind of a second part of the second plot, I wanted to split those up.

I could totally see the previously mentioned partnership turn into something of a cat and mouse kinda game. It’d actually be quite intriguing to see somebody to challenge her directly and on a personal level for a change because while the whole thing would still be somewhat mob-related, it’d be more focused on the power they’ve gathered together and that both of them wants the biggest piece of. Or rather the only piece without having to share it with the other person. It’d need to be somebody who’d be her equal, who could handle themselves around her, but then again, if they couldn’t, this partnership would have never seen the light of day in the first place. I want Grace to face a challenge/challenger she can’t get rid of that easily. I want her having to face them again and again, simply because they’re both too stubborn to die and to give up what they’ve earned. 

PLOT 03

This plot goes a little hand in hand with the previous plot, but I felt it still deserved a plot point on it’s own as it’s related to her connection with Ivan Rahal in particular.

Whereas Grace is chaos come to live and craves power above all, Ivan is a master chess player who craves chaos and destruction above all. It’s an unlike combination and yet one, that causes fear and terror among Verona’s citizens unlike any other for their united in their darkness and their thirst for blood. I feel like there’s so much Grace could learn from him and his talent for strategy. She wouldn’t ever ask for help nor would she want to change, after all, she’s perfect the way she is. Nonetheless, I want her to observe Ivan more closely, to study the way he thinks and does things, to get a feel for how he operates. I highly doubt she’d be able to employ these tactics for her own goals simply because she’s disciplined enough for that, but I feel like it’d be a valuable lesson for her nonetheless? 

PLOT 04

I feel like it’s only a question until her treacherous past truly catches up to her. After all, so far, she’s gotten away with turning her back on the Capulets to join the enemy’s ranks pretty easily. I mean she’s still alive and relatively unharmed which is more than most people could say in the same situation. Of course, she’s under the Montagues’ protection, but even that doesn’t have the same weight in every part of Verona. Knowing Grace’s recklessness and her tendency to live dangerously, she doesn’t shy away from Capulet territory. Probably even provokes them when she feels like it simply because she can (and because it makes her feel powerful). So it’s only a question of time until she gets into a situation where she has to pay for what she’s done. Unlike Grace, I’m not narcissistic enough to assume that she’s the Capulets’ main agenda, however, especially in combination with the connection with Vivianne provided in her bio (so I could def see Vivianne playing a role in that one way or another, maybe even assigning somebody to take care of her? Maybe even Regina which would kind of fit together nicely with Plot 01), I do think that this is still a topic worth exploring. After all, the Capulets won’t just forgive and forget. 

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Yes. With her recklessness and ability to piss off the people around her, I feel like it’s only a question of time until Grace is killed, not a question of if. 

IN DEPTH.

mentions of graphic violence tw

Carelessly she flicks the cigarette against her chair, her lips curled up into an amused smirk and her long legs draped on the table in front of her. Grace Daly has never been one to give a damn about the rules of properness and she sure as isn’t going to start now just because everybody around her does it. Just because, apparently, there some things you simply “have” to do, especially when being in a lion’s den. Idioti. No, following the rules is something reserved for sheep, people who aren’t bold enough to make decisions for themselves. And Grace Daly is most certainly not a sheep nor is she scared of anything or anybody. Fear? She laughs in the face of fear. It’s not like she’s stupid. Even though it doesn’t look like it, she’s perfectly aware of how dangerous this situation can be for her. How she might not make it out of here alive. The sheer thrill of it causes the adrenalin to rush through her veins, the smirk on her lips to grow just a little more intense. Other people might sit on the edge of their seats, all fidgety and nervous. Not just because of the fact that she’s currently meeting who’s supposed to enemy nr. one, but also because this meeting alone is enough to paint her as a traitor in the eyes of some people. But not Grace. Oh hell no. No, it takes more to get under her skin. Besides, it’s not like she asked for this meeting. No, Damiano Montague reached out to her, invited her. And well, who was she to refuse, even if meeting with him for any other reason to put a bullet between his eyes might be enough reason to some to try put a bullet between her eyes? Turning down the invitation would have been plain stupid. However, not for the reason most people might believe. No, it wasn’t fear that made her accept the invitation, It was sheer ambition. Fuck rules of decency and properness, fuck the rules of the mob if they’re getting in the way of what she wants. After all, when has she ever not taken what she wanted the instant she wanted it, no matter what it takes? Her teeth and ambitions are bared now more than ever, after having her potential ignored in favor of her younger, colorless sister. If it takes a swim to the other side, to change that situation, it’d be stupid to turn down the opportunity. 

Her head slightly tilted to the right, her dark eyes are focused on the man in front of her, eying him attentively. It’s quite ironic really how he looks nothing like Cosimo Capulet and exactly like him at the same time. There’s this air of confidence - arrogance really - surrounding him, the charisma of somebody who’s used to getting what he wants, who’s demanding it really. It takes only one look at him to know he doesn’t take well to being turned down. Not that she gives a damn. If he doesn’t offer her a deal she’s interested tonight, Grace won’t feel obligated in any way. Hell, if things don’t go the way she wants (and quite frankly, expects) them to, she might just try to ram or throw the knife she always has with her, hidden in her left boot, into his trachea. If she returns to the other side of the Adige with Damiano Montague’s blood on her hands - literally -, they just have to promote her to Captain at least. Better even, kiss her ass for quite some while. The smirk already gracing her lips grows just a little bit bigger at the thought of his face slowly losing all its color, the desperate death rattle of a dying man, maybe even some pleas for mercy. Somehow this turn of events would be almost just as nice as what she actually came here to do. So whatever is going to happen next, she knows she’ll come out of this little meeting with one sort of advantage in her hands. So much for Grace Daly being incapable of having a plan b.

Without taking her eyes of the mob boss in front of her - direct eye contact is important, after all, to assert dominance and to show that she isn’t the slightest bit afraid of him-, she stubs the cigarette on the wooden table, not giving a damn whether it’d leave a burn mark or not. After all, it’s not her table, is it? “Va bene, vecchio mio, how about you go ahead and make your offer?”, she says, her lips curled into a wolfish grin, “I don’t have all day, after all. Got some disloyal couriers I need to care of.”  Oh, the irony talking about disloyalty and treachery while she’s currently committing treason herself. It’s not wasted on her, that’s for sure, quite the opposite, really, it’s highly appreciated. The thought that the Capulets have no idea what might be coming for them, made this little meeting all so sweeter. Would serve them right for ignoring her potential.

___

murder tw

Leaning against the door frame, her arms crossed before her chest, she just stands there for a moment, her eyes focused on Ivan, the corners of her mouth curled up into a lazy half-smirk. “Looks like you have the luck of having the best partner possible today”, she says as she pushes herself away from the frame and heads towards him. From everybody else, these words would have been meant as a joke and yet, even though there’s a slightly amused, teasing intonation to them, she’s dead honest. She might not have been a part of the Capulets for as long as other members, but Grace still knows she’s better than a lot of them. At his slightly amused “and I assume that special one is supposed to be you”, she gives him a little smirk and shrugs her shoulders just slightly. “What can I say? It’s not arrogant if it’s true.” Not that she’d care either way. Caring about what other people think of you is something reserved for pathetic people who aren’t sure of themselves. And she most certainly doesn’t belong in that category. “Sei pronto?” The little smirk still present on her lips, she puts the hand on the gun on her left hip. As a little extra backup, there’s a knife safely stored in the right back pocket of her jeans, hidden by her leather jacket. “Sí.” She’s ready in every possible meaning, eager to, hopefully, get her hands on some real action. Sure, this mission isn’t supposed to turn violent. It’s only planned as some sort of check-up meets interrogation to find out if the rumors are true and they’ve really gone behind their back and are dealing with the enemy. But then again, you could never know how they’d react to this checkup, right? And a girl could still hope, after all. 

Slowly but self-assured they head straight towards the building that, their silhouettes one with the shadows of the containers. Every now and signal horns of approaching container ships disturb the silence, but apart from that, there’s complete silence. It’s quite peaceful, actually, she can’t help but notice and at the irony, the hint of a smile sneaks onto her lips. It’s so peaceful that nobody would expect the attack that is going to happen within a few minutes. Which, frankly, makes it even more fun. There’s nothing quite like taking something wholesome and peaceful and turning it upside down. Judging from the information they got, it’s gonna be a relatively easy job from the information they got. Three people top, most likely only lightly armed. They aren’t expecting an interrogation not to mention an attack any time soon, it’ll be like taking candy from a child.

After exchanging another glance with Ivan, she kicks the door open. “Ciao, stronzi.”Charming as ever, she flashes a wolfish grin at them. If they wanted somebody who’s all polite and diplomatic, they wouldn’t have paired Ivan up with her and so she sees no need to be anybody but her usual, charming self. However, for now, she lets Ivan take charge of the conversation. It’s more his style anyway. She prefers to stand there leaning against the door - these fuckers better don’t assume they could get past her - and casually playing with her knife as not that subtle thread while she attentively observes the interaction, ready to jump into action at any howsoever small, wrong movement. 

It doesn’t take long, only a few questions to realize that their source was right, these bastardi are trying to cheat them out of their profit. They realize almost as quickly that their cover has blown as Ivan and she do and pull their guns. Too bad it’s only almost. Without thinking about twice, Grace throws her knife, aiming right at the left guy’s forehead. Ivan reacts just as quickly, taking out the other guy with one unerring shot. Everything happened so quickly, that it takes her a moment to fully process what just happened. Completely collected on the outside, she stares at the dead body in front of her with some morbid curiosity. Even though she’s already seen her fair share of dead bodies ever since having joined the Capulets, it’s the first time she’s responsible for one. It’s an intriguing feeling, really. A part of her is well aware of she should feel at least some sort of regret or guilt. And yet, there’s nothing of that crap on her mind. The only thing she feels is excitement and satisfaction. It felt good to bury that knife between his eyes before he could even fully realize what was about to happen, it still does, to be honest. Slowly she steps closer to the corpse and pulls the knife out of it without flinching. She’s never been afraid of blood and she most certainly isn’t going to start that now. If anything there’s something quite satisfying about seeing your work in all its unholy glory. Is this what it feels like to be God? This rush of power of having just ended one life simply because you chose to do so? For a moment longer, her eyes are focused on the body, eying it almost thoughtfully, before she turns back around to Ivan. “Well, this didn’t exactly turn out as planned”, she says, the hint of a smile in the corners of her mouth betraying her words. “Too bad we didn’t get to question them further before blowing their brains out, though. The info whether they decided to cheat on us all of a sudden on their own or were instigated by somebody else wouldn’t have been the worst to have.” It’s not like she particularly cares about the answer, what this answer could have gotten her recognition wise is the much more interesting question. Ah well, what’s done is done. She shrugs slightly as she wipes the blood of the knife on her jeans before putting it back into the back pocket. “Let’s go check out if we can find some more information on what these idiots were up to. Maybe they were stupid enough to store some important documents here that give us a better idea of how far this whole little boycott goes and if other business partners of us are involved.” Eliminating two traitors might be useful and a nice accomplishment, but it’s not enough for her. No, she seeks something more impressive to bring back to the headquarters. After all ‘nice’ accomplishments, didn’t exactly allow you to climb higher on the mob’s hierarchy, won’t get her the recognition she deserves and craves.

___

 Everett Craven - Emissary. Easton Craven - Captain. And darling Regina promoted as well.  Even hours later, her fingers grab the glass of Scotch in her hands more firmly, the knuckles from the pressure she exerts, the rest of her body just as tense. Honestly, if this was one big fucking joke it wasn’t remotely funny. And despite her rather unique, wicked sense of humor she could usually see a joke for what it is. Although it had to be one - it’d be the only explanation that made some sort of sense -, she knows it’s not. It’s the fucking reality that everybody, who so much as breaths, gets a fucking promotion. Hell, even on the Montague side, promotions are a dime a dozen and everybody gets one. A dry, sarcastic laugh dies in her throat before she can get it out. Everybody but her that is. It seems like no matter what she does, it’s just not good enough. Like she’s nothing but a slightly tamed but rabid dog you can’t fully control but the perfect tool for threatening and intimidating your enemies. The one you send out to do all the dirty, bloody, disgusting work nobody else is willing to get their hands dirty on. She takes a sip of her drink, the burning sensation of the liquor running down her throat is a welcome distraction and yet, it isn’t nearly enough to burn away the frustration. And she does what they want like the good dog she, apparently, is. Does jobs nobody else would want to do if they don’t have a choice, just to prove her worth. Follows orders, even though somebody like Henry Zhang - the thought of her Captain is enough to roll her eyes - really couldn’t handle her under any other circumstances. Plays nice with men like Faron Vasilev just to get in his good graces and have him speak out for her. Even now she can still smell his cologne, the air of arrogance and entitlement surrounding men like him. It tastes sour in the back of her mouth, her. Maybe she should have tried sleeping with him while she still had the chance, seemed to have worked out perfectly for that puta Calina, after all. She even plasters a (more or less) friendly smile she plasters on her face every time Damiano walks past her and keeps her mouth shut, even when they talk bullshit. Her stomach twists and turns. They could drop dead this instant for all she cares and yet, she still plays nice. 

And for what? A small part of her mind that is still capable of thinking straight knows that she might just haven’t been a part of the Montagues long enough to earn the position of Captain. Castora has been a Montague for longer than her, it’s true. But Damiano wanted her. With one loud, shrieking noise, a glass breaks into a million shards as Grace throws it against the wall, not giving a damn if its ember content ruins the wall. He invited her personally into the fold and she deigned to accept that invitation. And yet, she’s still left with nothing. Maybe she really should have slit his throat right there during that meeting that promised to be a turning point. Frowning just slightly, her lips curled up into a sneer, the drops of liquor on the wall turning into crimson red bloodstains in her mind. She could have painted the walls red with mighty Damiano’s blood. She should have. That at least ought to have earned her a promotion with the Capulets. And yet, she’d resisted, had believed the stronzo’s golden lies of how they could achieve something great together, of how he could offer her more than Cosimo ever could. She’d known that he couldn’t make her Captain right away, that wasn’t how things worked. Anybody, who’d promoted somebody who’d only just been accepted into the fold (not to mention from the opposing side) was plain stupid, Grace understood that. But hasn’t she waited long enough now? Isn’t it time for her patience and hard work to finally be rewarded? And instead, she simply gets overlooked again. 

It’s not the first time she’s been overlooked, she should be used to it by now. She used to be the center of their parents’ universe, until her younger sisters - it’s an insult really, not a term of endearment -, took it away from her. After all, ever since darling Cat came into the world with her blonde locks and angelic nature, their father would choose the younger over her, dote on her instead of always on her like he used to. Memories of a little Cat, innocence come to life, run through her mind and she scowls. Her sweetness tastes like acid on her tongue, always has. And Regina took away the recognition and respect of the Capulets. The thought of her passionless, disinterested attitude alone is enough for her body to tense up and yearn for something else to punch bloody. How can somebody be so bland and yet so successful? Grace has always been fire and action and still, no matter how intense and destructive her fire, Regina’s hollowness seems to swallow it whole. If she ever felt a small flicker of sisterly love it’s long gone, she should have killed both long ago. Should have drowned them both like you did with unwanted puppies and kittens. Being overlooked is certainly nothing new so she really should be used to it by now. And yet, it hurts all the same, the sting of rejection, of not being good enough or enough, really. Whatever she does, she always gets overlooked for somebody else. For somebody who doesn’t want it nearly as much as she does. Who wouldn’t be as a great fit for the position as she would. She knows she can do better than all of them, why won’t anybody see it? Why won’t anybody see her for the potential that she has to offer?

For a time, it seemed like Damiano Montague saw it, saw her. That he would value her like the Capulets never did. And now she knows how wrong she’s been. Red painted lips twist into a sneer as she forgoes the thought of getting another glass and grabs the bottle instead. One sip, then another. She could empty the whole bottle, drink herself into oblivion and the liquor still couldn’t wash away the all-consuming feeling of humiliation cutting through her intestines like a hot burning iron. How utterly stupid she’d been. If she’s completely honest, it hurts almost just as much as the disappointment and rejection that she’s partially to blame for her misery. She should have been smart enough to see through Damiano’s empty promises. Eyes focused on the wall in front of her, she glares a hole. One rapid breath, another, her body tensing with every single one - then she punches it, only barely noticing the dull pain quickly spreading from the via the arm to her shoulder or the sting of the bloody, torn open knuckles. She should have at least thought in greater detail about how her chances at a promotion, at validation, are, if she stayed with the Capulets. After all, if colorless, hollow Regina managed to get two promotions, it should be out of the question that she would have made it to Captain during that time. She needs to believe she would have. Her stomach slumps at the mere prospect of not having made the cut either way. No, everything else is unacceptable. And yet, despite priding herself on her cleverness, she allowed herself to be blinded her own and ambition. It’d felt so good to be seen, to have your potential and talent acknowledged, to be recognized for what difference you could make if you changed the teams, that she’d gladly taken the opportunity offered to her on a silver platter. The Capulets never valued her, so why should she burden herself with them if somebody else could offer her the opportunity to finally rise to the station she knows she deserves? Her eyes fixed on the mess she just created - the shards, her bleeding knuckles, the ruined wall - she can’t hold back cynical laughter any longer. It’s too much of a representation of the rest of her life. After all,  as it now turns out, neither do the Montagues really see and value her. She desperately wants to say that it’s their loss, that it’ll be their own ruin. And it probably will be. But if she’s completely honest, right now, it is her loss. She’s the one who has to deal with the humiliation of having switched sides for nothing. To have made a traitor of herself for nothing. To have started again from scratch basically for absolutely nothing. 

Extras:

A Mockblog can be found here. Pls ignore the ugliness, I couldn’t be bothered to make it fancy as I’d only use it to reblog stuff from if I should get accepted anyway.

You can find a pinterest board here.

MB Type: ESTP-A - The Entrepreneur

Eneagram Type: Type 8 - The Challenger (81%)                            Type 3 - The Achiever (61%)

Moral Alignment: Chaotic Evil

The Four Temperaments: Choleric

Archetypes: Rebel (56%) - The Wild Woman, The Criminal & The Rebel                      Explorer (22%) - The Adventurer & The Explorer                      Royal (22%) - The Excecutive, The Bully & The Greenvy

[rat-apologist]

A Semi-In depth Review of Anna Todd’s After

So I’ve been seeing the trailer for the movie adaptation of this book every five seconds on my Instagram feed, and as a proud dyslexic unwilling to sit down and read it, I listened to the audiobook.

Again, these are all my opinions, if you don’t agree that’s okay.

Here is a quick, spoiler free plot synopsis for those who want/need it: Being moved from Wattpad into the real world of publishing, After follows a girl named Tessa, who simultaneously has the mentality of a five year old and an old man from the 1800’s. She is eighteen years old and is going to college to be an English major. Tessa loves control, planning, and books. She's an introvert at heart, and “not like other girls” (i.e. dresses conservatively, is a virgin (the books words, not mine)). She has a shitty mom and a nice, preppy, boyfriend who is still in high school, and her life is completely planned out. That’s all turned upside down when the poster child for emotional abuse named Harden (harry styles) waltzes into her life during a frat party her first week of college. Your typical Wattpad/teen movie drama ensues.

(the actual review under the cut)

This review is chock full of spoilers for Anna Todd’s book After. If you want a good idea of what I thought about this book without any spoilers I’ll just say this: I can really honestly say I was never bored while listening to this book. However, that is not necessarily a good thing. Often times I was just too much in awe of the clunky writing and truly evil supposedly “redeemable” characters to be bored. On a one to five star scale, I’d probably give it a two. More on that later.

Here are the things I liked:

(this one is only applicable to the audiobook) the narrator was amazing, her voice acting was very appropriate (though she did tend to drop accents sometimes- but that is forgiven because of how otherwise amazing her line delivery was- especially considering the quality of the dialogue).

Landon and Dakota were my favorite characters, and even though they had no personalities beyond what they meant to Tess and how they interacted with Harden (Hardin? Again, I listened to the audiobook I’ve got no idea how to spell that lmao) they still made the book better to listen to.

Despite the repetition of plot/narrative structures I can happily say again that I was never really bored.

Okay moving on to more mixed-bag feelings:

So the last chapter was from Harden’s perspective, and I thought that was an interesting idea. Learning what one character thinks, especially since our protagonist is, how you say, a little bad at reading/interacting with other human people. However the execution left something to be desired for me. It quite literally was just the exact same scene we just saw from the previous chapter, but from Hardens perspective instead of Tess’s. Which was just ended up being unnecessarily repetitive at times.

I liked how Tessa tried to be less judgmental throughout the book, however her growth is very, very limited.

I liked the fact that they mentioned they used condoms in pretty much every sex scene, and that most of the time clear verbal consent/clear nonverbal consent was given for the sexual stuff. That does not happen often in books, especially in fan fiction from what I understand.

I like that Tess does stand up for herself, while I could sometimes see myself comparing her to Bella Swan considering how much of her personality does kind of revolve around her relationship with Harden, she certainly was more vocal about her feelings. And boy, did she have a lot of feelings.

Moving on to the things I didn’t like, this is probably going to be a mix on writing, characters, and plot points so bear with me. (I’m saving my many thoughts on the twist for last)

Okay so a big number one is the biggest plot driver, the love story. So, I feel like it goes without saying, but the main relationship is SUPER unhealthy. Harden constantly stalks, manipulates, and bullies Tess throughout the whole book. He is pretty much abusive, using her caring for him to his own advantage and then dropping her when it suits him. Plus his hyper-sexualization of her “virtue” is really really nasty. Tess pretty much cries in every interaction they have together, and even acknowledges how toxic their relationship is, and yet I’m supposed to root for them? Hmm… I don’t think so

The near constant slut shaming and girl hate in this book bothers me, especially when it’s mixed with the hints of “I’m not like other girls” from Tess

The character descriptions kinda weird me out considering how much Harden is described like Harry Styles, like literally a tumblr punk edit of Harry Styles

The dialogue is… bad. To all the writers out there (myself included) make sure you read your dialogue out loud to see if it sounds natural, that way if your Wattpad fanfiction ever does get published, and your book is adapted into audiobook, you’ll avoid a situation like this one. Because, especially listening to it, the dialogue in this book is really really bad. Honest to god it sounds like robots imitating humans are talking to each other, only they’re trying to convince the other robots that they are humans. For some reason Anna Todd avoided using contractions for most of the book, making the characters sound unnatural and completely out of their predefined characters. Why would these college students not use words like “it’s” “we’ll” and “we’re”? It is truly astonishing, and it makes the few uses of contractions really distracting. Normally I don’t give a shit about grammar since I don’t really understand grammar, and normally grammatical errors aren’t that obvious when listening on audio, but the dialogue was seriously that bad.

The pacing was bad, that’s kinda all I have to say. It was generally too quick during plot development but then took a screeching halt for each fight/sex scene (of which there are many)

The repetition of certain words/phrases really got annoying. Everyone's always screaming, biting on their lip, or smirking. Harden is rude, as Tessa mentioned about eight million times, and Tessa finds his dirty talk arousing. We know this, because Todd uses those phrases about a billion times a chapter.

The sex scenes kind of grossed me out. I’m (in general) fine with sex, but the way the sex scenes were written seriously ucked me out. These college kids avoid using words like “penis” “dick” “pussy” etc. and use really really juvenile words like “down there” and “length”. Maybe this is a fanfiction thing, and I’ll admit that I have not read essentially any fanfiction, but it is truly a disturbing way to write sex. Especially since Tessa is written to have the experience and understanding of sex as like a child, not even understand what an orgasm is and unwilling to say words like penis or vagina, something our loverboy Harden is super attracted to, by the by.

I hate that this book uses “girl almost gets assaulted so man can come in and valiantly protect her” trope. It is super gross and I hate it. That’s kind of all I can say, the use of women's pain so that men can get some amount of redemption is awful.

More on Harden: I am sick of the “violent, broken man that I promise I can fix!” trope. It is used to justify and excuse abuse and I hate it. Tess is honestly scared of him several times in the book and it’s played as a personality quirk of his? Like everyone just accepts that’s how he is? I know for the most part we aren’t supposed to “like” him for the first part of the book, but it’s obvious that the author wants us to root for him and Tessa in some capacity. Especially with the inclusion of his perspective at the end, which in a way is exactly the kind of manipulation that he is into so idk. Also he is possessive despite the fact that they weren’t dating, and he is very clear he does not date. That’s already abuse, but of course there is more. On top of that he is cruel, and pretty stuck-up throughout the book- making him pretty much insufferable to me. And all of this shit just gets worse once the twist is introduced, and no amount of his whining from his chapter could at all change that.

The rest of the characters are all either boring, or the worst people you could ever meet. Tess’s mom, Molly, Jace, all really terrible to offset the horror of Harden. To almost justify what he does- because comparatively he doesn’t seem as bad (up until the twist).

The twist. Dear god the twist. So, as it goes it isn’t an extremely inspired twist. I’ve seen it done before in a similar way (I’m looking at you, Ten Things I Hate About You). For those who are wondering: the big twist is that Harden only really pursued Tess in the beginning because after she revealed she is a virgin at a party early on in the book he makes a pricey bet with Zed (another side character only used to add ~drama~ to Tessa and Harden’s relationship) to see who can take her virginity. All of the subsequent bullying, possessiveness, manipulation, etc. were all a ploy to have sex with her before Zed could. I feel like it goes without saying that that’s disgusting, but let me tell you exactly why: at least if he was actually interested in her at first his weird behavior could possibly be passed off as hormones (I wouldn’t like it, but I’d understand it  more if you’d try to make that argument), but the fact that it was all for a bet not only makes his disgusting actions worse, but makes the fact that he supposedly falls in love with her so much more annoying. Plus, the fact that he literally tries to trap Tessa in a lease so she can’t leave him, and tries to bribe his friends into silence really shows how little he actually cares about Tessa and her thoughts and feelings.  

So, why two stars? Honestly, because I was entertained (for lack of a better word) by this book. Maybe if I actually read it and not just listened to the audiobook it my rating would be lower, maybe if there was just one more sex scene to slow down the pace I would have been more bored. Who knows, but I was entertained. Sometimes by how terrible the dialogue is, by how astonishing the characters decisions were, sometimes by the actual plot. It’s like watching a shitty soap opera, it’s not good by any means, but it certainly keeps your attention.

[kilvass]

20 get to know me questions, tagged by @ttogekiss (Thanks for tagging me)!

Under a read more, because I talk way too much.

1.      Nickname:

Most people call me by my nickname, Nando, instead of calling me Fernando. I also have a more feminine name that I use, Marlena, but I’m cautious about letting people call me that online because some bad people that I used to know knew me by that name. I don’t care about listing it here though because this is just my shitty furry monster sideblog.

2.      Myers-Briggs type: Every time I take a Myers-Briggs test I get ENTJ or INTJ. But I don’t really care about personality test stuff that much. The questions are always so shallow, I don’t think the results tell you as much about a person as people act like they do.

3.      Star sign: Libra.

4.      Height: Between 5’4 and 5’5…

5.      Favorite feature: My critical thinking and analytical skills. Unless this question is about physical features, in which case I’d say my hair. It’s very thick and very long, it goes all the way down to my tailbone.

6.      Favorite color: Violet, indigo, fuchsia, anything around that pink/purple/blue section of the color spectrum.

7.      Favorite food: Honestly, it’s way too hard for me to pick a favorite food, my favorites change all the time. I guess the one food that I’ve always loved most consistently is dark chocolate. But I also really like Italian food, Mexican food, Cuban food, Chinese food, etc. I tend to like stuff with meat, cheese, noodles or beans. It’s easier to say what I DON’T like: vegetables or candy.

8.      Favorite animal: I would have to say cats I guess, because they make very good pets. Other than that, I tend to like animals that look cool and exotic, like bearded vultures or gemsbok. I also like alligators/crocodiles a lot, there are tons of them where I live.

9.      Dogs or cats?: Cats. I like dogs, especially certain breeds (collies, huskies, borzoi), but they’re not as smart or independent as cats. With cats I feel like you have to put more effort into making them like you and want to be around you, while with dogs they tend to like you no matter what, even if you’re not that great of a pet owner. I feel like bonds with cats are deeper because of that capacity for failure.

10.   How many pets do you have?: Right now I have 3 cats, 2 turtles, and a snake. I used to have a LOT more pets of different kinds when I was younger though. Here’s a bad pic I took of my favorite cat snoozing on my lap while I was playing Radiant Dawn for the first time.

11.   Average hours spent sleeping: I always try to sleep at least 7 hours, if not more.

12.   Number of blankets you sleep with: One, any more and I get too hot.

13.   Number of pillows you sleep with: One.

14.   What’s your dream trip?: I don’t know, anywhere is good with me as long as I like the people that I’m traveling with and we end up having a good time. Maybe to a big pride parade or something? Or somewhere with good food. I just don’t want to be sitting around in a hotel room all day, I want to actually do something.

15.   Best places to visit in your town/country: I live in a very small, racist town in the middle of Florida and there’s literally nothing to do here lol, don’t visit here. I haven’t been to many other places in the United States, so this is a hard question to answer. Tampa and Orlando are good places to visit in Florida close to where I live, because there are a lot of theme parks and good restaurants and other places of interest. I also recall having a good time when I stayed at a cabin in North Carolina one summer and went white water rafting. I’m sure there are tons of other good places to visit, like in California or something. But I’m not very adventurous and have only visited a few places on the east coast ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

16.   Favorite ice cream flavor: Chocolate, mint chocolate… anything with chocolate, really. I like most other flavors too, it’s just that I get chocolate cravings a lot.

17.   What’s an ideal day for you like?: Oh god, I don’t know, either a day spent having fun hanging out with some friends, or a day spent playing a very interesting video game/reading interesting articles/etc? I’m very boring, sorry.

18.   Favorite book/book series: Uhhhhhhh I've never been that into books to be honest, I can’t think of an answer for this one. Like, I read a lot, but I prefer reading manga/plays/poems. I can’t remember any particularly good books that have stood out to me and changed me as a person or anything like that, mostly just books that were required for school. I should read more books 😕

19.   Favorite movie/movie series: I don’t like movies very much at all. Either Princess Mononoke or Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind. Or The Godfather. But only the first one, I hated the second one.

20.   Favorite video game/video game series: Oh jeez. In terms of individual video games, I guess I would say... Dragon Age: Origins Persona 2: Innocent Sin & Persona 2: Eternal Punishment The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne Shin Megami Tensei IV Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of the Sky Pokemon Emerald, Pokemon FireRed/LeafGreen, Pokemon HeartGold/SoulSilver, Pokemon Black/White... 2D Pokemon in general I guess... Chrono Trigger Generally I favor video games that have the most atmosphere and depth, strongest writing/characterization/worldbuilding, and/or balanced and challenging gameplay.

In terms of game SERIES, I have to mention Dragon Quest. It’s hard to list an individual game as a favorite because the whole series is extremely consistent in quality and content. Unlike other games series, where you tend to have some very good games and some very bad games, and/or wildly differing mechanics each time... Dragon Quest games are all about the same, just with different characters and plots. All the ones I’ve played are VERY good, if you like old style RPGs with challenging gameplay. I also like Resident Evil...... Okay I’m going to stop typing now before this gets too long lmao. I like video games a lot. I tag...anyone who sees this and wants to do it? IDK.

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 10 | “Calm before the storm” - Amir

so jordan pines went home, and im at peace. he was acting in a way to actively be detrimental to my game, and he also was bringing this kind of toxic energy to the game that i'm very much glad to see go. i also have... never felt such fear as when jordan called me out of the blue yesterday KJHASDFJKLASLKJFAS also i kinda wanna write an apology to kendall here? i made this whole ramble at tribal about how we shouldn't make this game personal, but i've also talked about how i dont like her energy and this kind of stuff, and i just wanna apologise? i think i had mega-preconceptions of her and just because we dont always 100% click as people doesnt give me any excuse to be rude! im gonna do better, that's the mission. moving forwards, me and tj squashed our beef which is fun. apparently people think i leaked that lovelis was the vote to him which JKASDLFAS hello?! i sure did not. also i wonder who leaked to jordan that he was the vote? i kind of assume someone told tj, who told jordan? jake suggested devon which i could see. i think this round jake is going to want duncan gone, but i think i want augusto gone? i think amir is a beauty who i want around because we are winners and i also? really like amir on a personal level. and then kendall is sweet, and also i think less threatening, while i could see augusto being able to continue to wriggle through which is scary. anyway so: who i'd vote as a juror: autumn > jake > amir > devon > augusto > duncan > kendall > adam > tj ideal bootlist: augusto > duncan > tj > kendall > amir > autumn > f4: me/adam/devon/jake I LOVE Autumn with my entire soul by the way, but I also do think its becoming apparent that I... would be a complete clown to go to the end with her... but i also do not think i can vote her out, so i hope someone else does...anyway we will see hehe 

Jordan Pines really left… I’m gagged! A whole lot of buffoonery went down during the last few hours and I felt like I had to talk MULTIPLE people off a ledge when it came to flipping. Devon for whatever reason wanted to use his double vote and get out Duncan or TJ but imo, those are very easy votes and we need to save the double vote for something that packs a punch. Adam told me if we should join Jordan in his plan to vote Duncan (which Jordan never told me about so I didn’t want to make it anyway) but I told Adam that if Jordan stays, he’ll go on a revenge rampage and who would be able to stop him. Not only that, but I know Adam and Autumn are close so I told him that we need to build more allies/connections so keeping Jordan could alienate people from working with us like Autumn. Even with Kendall, she did not want to do it for most of the round but as sis had to put his foot DOWN with all these people because Jordan leaving really helps me. I feel I did good also at getting TJ to really trust me? I let him know that he could be receiving votes and that Jordan’s name was out there and we really connected on being scapegoated by the others that round which helped. It’s interesting xoxo

Amir and I were talking about being scared of making match ups for this immunity and then I was starting to think about the tribe dynamics and who might be working with who. Side 1: me, Amir, Kendall (Devon lowkey) Side 2: Autumn, Ali, Adam, Jakey (?) Loose ends: Duncan (tighter with Autumn and possibly Jakey), TJ (tighter with Devon, Kendall, and myself) Am I perfectly right? Probably not but that’s just what I’m observing tbh. I do feel good that my connections to certain individuals (Devon, Jakey, Autumn, TJ, Adam) might be pretty strong which is cute! What I see happening is that Duncan leaves this vote (which is what I really really want), Ali or Kendall next vote (Ali is THE move I want to make because he and I are playing similar and he scares me. It would only be done if me/Kendall/Amir/Devon + his extra vote make it happen. I can see Kendall leaving since there would be big Beauty numbers still in the game which I get. I don’t wanna see her leave because I adore her but in a way, maybe it’d be good for my game idk?), and after that Autumn leaving would be KEY. After that, it’d be me/Amir/Devon/Adam/TJ/Jakey I think? And I don’t feel bad about that in the slightest. I’m getting ahead of myself but I’m a Virgo Sun AND Rising, it’s what I do ghfjdksl

It’s like 1 AM and I’m bored but I’ve been in so many alliances for some reason ghfjdks OG Hathor: Bringing Sexy Back (me, Amir, Kendall, Connor), Leaning Tower of Penis that is also french (me, Amir, AJ, Connor, Kendall), Quadruple A Batteries (me, Amir, AJ, Adam), and The Soviet Oreo Cheesecakes (me, Kendall, Austin). NuThoth: Thots R Us (me, Amir, Kendall, Jakey, Scott), Beauty/Brain Sandwich (me, Amir, Devon), Sexy Procrastinators (me, Kendall, Amir, AJ), and Hehehehe (me, Amir, Kendall, Scott). Merge: dumb betches (me, Amir, Kendall), Beauty/Brain Sandwich (me, Amir, Devon), real riders (me, Amir, Devon, Autumn) Not to mention the one on one alliances I have too (me/Jakey, me/Devon, me/Amir, me/Kendall, me/Autumn [ish], me/Adam [ish], me/TJ [ish]) like I-

me after that entire round https://twitter.com/TheMemesArchive/status/1248726674440695809?s=20 I had to take a day off Skype just to process but now that I'm back? Let me just say that was a masterpiece and some of my finest work. I really orchestrated Jordan Pines' demise from start to finish without getting a vote or an idol played a round BEFORE an all flash game round. I love that he said we've been planning this for a long time and I just wanna clarify. I ALWAYS wanted Jordan Pines out, I just never thought he would play into my hand that fucking early lmaaaaooo. The tea is I just wanted Jordan or TJ to be captain because they've been sitting on their asses all game and have never had to actually work to not be targeted or god forbid earn being in a good spot. Like the winners are awake, the POC's are awake, Devon's been to 50 tribals so he's awake, Jake almost died so he's awake, and Kendall knows she's on borrowed time so she's awake. Miss Jordan and TJ however? They're just along for the ride and I'm sorry if I'm not trying to carry anyone to Final 4 just so I get 4th. But no I had no idea that me organizing the captain thing would set it all off but here we are. These boys really thought y'all- they really thought they did something by choosing the bottom half of the list and hanging me and Duncan high and dry in the process wouldn't mean the end of that alliance. Oh OF COURSE it's the end and it gave me permission to now movely free about the cabin. That Jordan vote was airtight for 21 hours, got leaked, and still worked so know that I will be coming to collect my flowers when this is all over. AND it gets better because soooo many people told on themselves leading up to that vote. Between Duncan snatching immunity from Augusto after agreeing to vote Jordan and then pressuring Devon to vote Jordan in the final minute to Jordan going ballistic on the whole cast and people wanting him out just to have peace again, I have never been prouder of my gameplay lmao. I really turned on an alliance but got the allies to piss a bunch a people off in the process, which sealed the fate of Jordan, Duncan, and eventually TJ. I pushed one whole domino y'all and it done set the course of the ENTIRE merge I'm screaming God is really that good. Like all the men losing trust amongst each other?? Ugh it's glorious. Adam mad at Duncan for lying to his face and pretending that he never wanted Adam out. Amir mad at Duncan for never telling him about that alliance in the first place. Augusto mad at Duncan for snatching immunity all over Jordan just for it to get snatched from Jordan anyway. Jordan mad at Amir, Duncan, Ali, and the whole motley crew because "they were supposed to be friends." Devon and Jakey mad and want each other out because Jakey is onto Devon and they each want TJ to themselves. And I'm over here playing Veronica Mars trying to figure out who the rat is. WHEN I SAY I CANNOT MAKE ANY OF THIS UP But if there's one thing we can all agree on is that it's time for Duncan to go lmao I am getting NO votes in the end I love it. Literally name an ally I won't kill https://twitter.com/TheMemesArchive/status/1248726674440695809?s=20

heyo so... im having a kind of upsetting realisation right now, which is that i think i'm setting myself up for a path that ends in me being a losing finalist. autumn is legit the love of my life, but rn my game is too autumn-centric, and then my information is like a one way tunnel to jake. SO i need to turn my game around, because even tho i think i can get away with my lesser game presence so far as a winner, i cant keep coasting. i think at f9 i can ramp it up, i need to use f10 to set myself up. i think adam/devon are going to be crucial to my game and my differentiation from jake. i am gonna make moves that go against his agenda, because i know i can. i have idols to force through what i want to happen, so its time i get that done. goal bootlist: duncan > augusto > tj > kendall > autumn (!!) > amir > f4: me/jake/devon/adam and i boot out whoever is the biggest jury threat

BY JOVE I HAVE DONE IT I HAVE TURNED ALL MY FEELINGS INTO MEMES!!!!!!!!! PUT LEAST TRUST WORTHY PERSON IN THE GAME? MEME HAVING TO VOTE OUT MY OLDEST TUMBLR SURVIVOR FRIEND? MEME SPILLING TO SAID TUMBLR SURVIVOR FRIEND THEY WERE GOING? MEEMEEEEEEEE PUT IN A CHAT IN ORDER TO SAVE TUMBLR SURVIVOR FRIEND AND ACTIVELY CHOOSING NOT TO SAVE HIM? MEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PERSONAL ISSUES??? MEEMEEE THAT'S RIGHT NO LONGER DO I HAVE THE CAPACITY TO CRY OR SMILE OR CRY AGAIN IT IS ALL MEMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AJKDFADFJKSFADJKSKJDSDKSFMNVNVANFKKAVNNKVN MY SANITY IS GONE AND SO IS MY FEELINGS!!!!!!!! ALL HAIL OUR DEAD SAVIOR JORDAN PINES HAILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL This confessional was brought to you by Alcohol, Alcohol giving the support your family refuses to provide for you. 

Well well well....Going from 16th place on a unanimous vote to a guaranteed spot in the final 9 feels pretty nice. I've been able to leverage my double vote as a source of trust to others, and this could be the round in which I send out Duncan from this game. So ironic that he's the one on the bottom after all this time. I feel like I'm in a strong position in this game, but I'm playing with fire: - 2 person alliance between me/Kendall - 3 person alliance between me/Amir/Augusto - 2 person alliance between me/Ali - 2 person alliance between me/Adam - 4 person alliance between me/Amir/Augusto/Autumn - 2 person alliance between me/TJ This basically leaves my options past this round to Jake or a blindside. 

oh unkie dunkie. oh unkie dunkie. everytime we play together you underestimate me, and for what. literally duncan is pulling a jordan and trying to pull in the beauties as like.. one round numbers... like did you not see with jordan that that does not work hello? the beauties have brains and can see you are just trying to pull them in for a single vote like make it make sense. so duncan is gone tonight and im at peace. and then moving forwards i want adam around for the LONG HAUL. we had a great talk today and he is so fun!! i feel bad because i lied about the idol but hopefully i'll play it in a mutually beneficial way. i think a good f3 would be me/adam/devon? so the plan is bootlist: kendall > augusto > tj > autumn (!!) > amir > f4: me/adam/devon/jake (i think?) but getting jake to vote tj will be hard. but having all three winners at f6 would be PERF for me.

ok hello confessional time, ive been trying to cut back to like 1 confessional a round to make sure i dont just ramble on and on and keep the tea as organized as possible because things switch like a dime in this game, so to start, i think last thing i mentioned was how jordan was probably going home, even though i had told him to start a campaign against duncan, which he did and then i ended up not going with it hsfkdj love my mind, the bipolar TRULY jumped out.... however hehe now that jordan is gone, and since a lot of people already wanted duncan out, that could very well be the move this round. Devon is immune which is good for him, decent for me, i did NOT want immunity this round because i had it last time and 2 in a row wouldve put a target on my back considering i still have the challenge advantage from the auction and at this point everyone knows about it, so i made a really big risk throwing this immunity because of that and also because of how the challenge was set up, where if you won a round, you have to single out 2 people to be next, which would put an unnessecary target on my back and i still am trying to recover from my dumb lie, so it's about picking and choosing your battles, and after last round where someone went home solely based on shady immunity choices, i want no part in that! I'm also ABSOLUTELY trying to get my foot in everyone's kitchens serving you rachel ray teas, so that would expose who i do and dont really trust (which is pretty much no one ahkdsf), but devon winning is ok because i think he's with me (but idk i wanna trust him/autumn but im also well aware they're both kinda running around trying to play everyone a bit, so ill keep that in mind for future rounds) and now i just have to hope im not the target this vote, but i dont think i am unless people are even better than me at being fake the only person who picked on me in the challenge was amir which he asked me beforehand and i didnt wanna win so i gave him my permission, and now that it's almost vote time, things have got a little hectic, apparently duncan is trying to go around and tell people to split the vote between the 3 beautys besides me.....BUT THEN HE'S GOING TO THE 3 BEAUTYS PROPOSING TO THEM TO VOTE WITH THEM TO TAKE OUT ME OR ALI?? Duncan, strike 1 was throwing my name out 2 rounds ago, strike 2 was lying right to my face when i asked you about it, and now this mutiny you're trying to lead is strike 3. luckily for me i stopped being petty with the beautys and we're all kinda good again at least to me, so im hoping theyre not playing me since they spilled the tea to me all individually and duncan will be the only one blindsided tonight :) (love you as a person asdfh but game wise, get outta town!) also had some calls today, apparently people are starting to see me/ali as a duo....which while i do genuinely like ali as a person and i do trust him a little more than others, that could mean trouble for me down the line so ive gotta start causing doubt with people about that somehow, also me and jake spoke for the first time on call in years and...... i wanna be able to say that went good like i was making some jokes and laughs here and there and he mentioned he was making progress on the merge idol to me which kinda caught me off guard but he says he doesnt have it so we'll see.... also he seemed a little reserved, so im either a nutjob and being paranoid for no reason, or he's still got a grudge against me and ill have to deal with that at some point. But now is not that time yet, he did confirm to me devon has told other people about his extra vote which is funny because he told me it was just me who knew and has always been saying like "our extra vote" implying it's me and him 100% in it so consider yourself CLOCKEDT on that fib sir, unless youre lying to others and telling me the truth then carry on afshdkj also everyone is kinda figuring out how autumn is in good with everyone, and while i do want to trust her, it makes me nervous how close she is to jake because if those two together come for me..... i could be oop'ing my way right to the jury ... autumn is just giving me like kim one world vibes and im not trying to be her sabrina thompson even if i can trust her. I will have to make a move against her too eventually, hopefully im just around long enough for that to happen but anywho.... hopefully duncan goes tonight, im hearing he's just been saying me to people so i play my idol WHICH AGAIN I DONT HAVE. IS THIS HOW ELIZA FELT BECAUSE I SWEAR ITS JUST A FUCKING STICK IS WHAT I HAVE AT THIS POINT ....and if anyone but duncan goes ill most likely be soon to follow

Alright, so Damage Control TJ has been doing some work. Has it been perfect? Not even close. However, I think I've made some ground. So I started by having an open conversation with Duncan/Autumn in our chat with Jordan (I already miss you being here) and then with Ali who I think all had their suspicions of me after that last tribal. Can't blame them, but I used that time to hopefully get the target away from this next round and at least get a little footing. Then, last night I had calls with Devon, Augusto, and Kendall. They all agreed that the two biggest threats in this game are Ali and Autumn, which I'm so glad people understand this. So I think I've done a decent amount to connect with those two moreso than I had before (Devon and I were always close). And then I talked to Amir today, we talked for over an hour, and I genuinely cannot believe how much on the same page that we are on. Maybe I'm just being very optimistic about the convo, but I think I have another avenue that I could easily pursue at this rate. He basically made it known that he is close to Augusto and not as much Kendall (the exact quote was "I'm being put into a trio with the other two, but I'm not close to Kendall"... so like... yeah...), but even better he suggested a group of four between me, Devon, him, and Augusto which I think makes a lot of sense. It doesn't include my closest ally of Jakey, which probably is good because it gives me a couple roads to pursue, and it allows me to go after the two people who need to go in this game between Ali and Autumn (or else they would easily be two time champs). Yes, I know Amir is a champ too, and I will do something about that a little later, but for now I think this might be a good move to work with. So after this Duncan vote, I think I can make a move against Ali/Autumn (probably Ali by the sounds of it) and have some numbers that I don't become a target. But the question lies in where these idols are and how they will affect the next round or two.

duncan is so funny thinking he is gonna pull off this 4-3-3 blindside to send me packing... like it doesn't make sense or add up KJLSADFDAS. i'm kinda getting a rush and also getting votes is very good news for me because i was one of two who hadn't got votes yet hehe.

well.. provided i live through this 4-3-3 vote i should be set to make f9!! i just want to say how much of a king amir is, i had so many preconceptions of him and im so glad i could work through them. i think i want to go to f5 with amir/adam/devon/jake... they are five people who have been straight up with me and who i feel good about having in the endgame. autumn is the literal love of my life, but from talking to adam today, its clear autumn in the endgame is like kim spradlin. legit every single person trusts her and i'd be a clown to have her at the end even tho it breaks my heart. i would like to see duncan, kendall and tj as next three boots for sure. duncan is legit trying to blindside me so he needs to go ASAP jsakdfa. next up kendall, i kinda want a beauty gone so that their group is less threatening, because if i want someone like amir in endgame, i need one of the others gone. then tj because he is a loose end to me, plus he is gonna be a jury threat i just FEEL IT in my bones. but this all relies on me getting through this vote and who knows if that is gonna happen KJSDAF

If I go tonight! It’s been fun everyone! Thanks to the hosts for having me!

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Okay quick early round confessional, I kinda am like mind jumbled right now. Ali - Autumn - Jakey Ali - Autumn - Adam Tj - Devon Me - Kendall - Augusto - (Devon??) Me - Augusto - Devon Duncan - (on his own) Everyone wants duncan out, and like even I can’t trust him. He still is being fake to my face about most game facts and alliance, but he’s someone that would go after Ali, so I don’t want him to go, but it might be better to stay the course. I love him but this is what has 2 happen and It’s another round when me kendall and Augusto survive when we weren’t even suppose to survive one. Then Kendall is still a meat shield because she will get targeted first, but I want her to stay as long as I can keep her and I’m lucky I even got to keep her this far. If duncan and Kendall are the next to go, which like I hope it’s not but this may be what happens, then at the 8 me Augusto devon, his double vote and I more person can pull a move on Ali. It’s just going to depend who people are more scared of, me or Ali

Ali is literally Going to win this game 2 idols, an idol block, adam’s loyalty, autumn’s loyalty, jakey’s loyalty, secretly a comp beast, British accent, hes so likable He has all the tools of a winner And he downplays it so hard 

I am trying so damn hard to stay alert in this game But honestly I keep feeling like Ali or autumn will strike I don’t think it’ll be this round But next round, I think I’m going to try and make a move It’s time Me Augusto devon tj and double vote or me Augusto devon kendall double vote Don’t know if I can’t trust devon and tj Well we need devon’s double vote And I need jakey to be okay with it cuz if he tips Ali off, I’m gonna go it’s risky af But like we can’t just keep letting him win so Gotta make a move I’m thinking about if it’s better to let kendall go first To help Jakey devon and tj to feel better about it and ease them into it Because Augusto can work tj, we can both work devon, and I can secretly work jakey but jakey is a control freak and might tell Ali to play the idol but I’m gonna trust him This game a is a personal prison I am in mental torment If Augusto and I do this Ali plan for the next round after duncan goes this round And it leaks, it’s over for me But people were gonna come for me anyway So we should try this round is the calm before the storm cuz everyone is doing duncan Next round W A A A A A R 

I just tried so fucking hard To get jakey on board with blindsiding Ali next round If he tells Ali to play an idol, well! Good luck Charlie (I’m Charlie) He is talking about getting everyone in the game to split the vote on me and Kendall, and then me kendal him and Augusto will vote Ali or adam. So I agreed, and went and ratted him out to adam autumn and Ali, cuz I knew they weren’t gonna agree with Duncan’s plan so it was not actually applicable, so I have no choice but keep the course, and now Ali and autumn and adam trust me more, Duncan is gonna be mad, but he played himself into a corner. He lied to me about his alliance, and has always had different motives since he asked to work with me at the start, rip king, I feel so bad cuz he’s actually a really really cool person, but he’s about to get a rude game awakening 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

sometimes the wild thing with depression is looking back and trying to figure out when it started and never really being able to draw a line for anything like "this was the earliest age it All Began(tm)," probably because there's not generally such an On-Off Switch type process to it. i know usually circa ten yrs old or later in the teens is usually what people point to but sometimes more of a period of exacerbation rather than origin, and who can say it's not also having the emotional and psychological capabilities and capacities that young children don't that bring a greater sense of perspective and awareness, idk anyways so i'm not sure if i was ever not-depressed or anything....i know i was always uncomfortable outside what was familiar and "shy" and i know that as soon as i was around other kids in a way more socially organized than running around together, namely preschool at 4 yrs old, i was aware of not feeling like i fit in and noticing i couldnt make friends like other people could. ive been good at bs-ing school from the start and happen to pick up things very quickly so even though i probably had the same habits as kids with the worst grades and had no particular ambitions re: academia (beyond avoiding parental wrath and later maintaining the identity that kinda protected me a bit in school) since i got really good grades and was quiet and pretty much just read in a corner when left to myself from kindergarten through middle school, i was probably considered a usually ideal student. i remember a couple of people who i felt i was genuinely friends with, a kid named michael who i think went to a different school after a couple of grades, and a kid named jacqueline in 2nd grade who was like me so quiet in retrospect i'm not sure if she knew much english but we played legos together and stuff but then we got in trouble for not paying attention during not even a lesson but i had to move seats b/c arbitrary Making An Example and since we were both so quiet we just didnt interact much anymore to avoid further attention. i made other friends technically but generally it took a long time to be comfortable with them and we were never close and in the meantime i dont think i ever much liked school. i remember one random sunday evening just getting upset about not wanting to go back the next day just because it was boring and meantime at home of course it sucked but i didnt quite realize it til i was older and it helped of course being young enough to be able to go outside for hours and be perfectly entertained playing in the dirt and trees and stuff. i read a lot at home too i remember having pretty skeptical thoughts about Life from earlyish on but, besides spending a crap ton of time just in my own head (reading, playing in dirt) i think i had ideas that life and the world was pretty amazing. like earlier on of course it was like "is magic real??" but then later its just stuff like reading in books about how kids had good friends and families and got to pursue their interests and do things and work out drama and have nice endings with a lot of hope for the future. for all i could tell the only thing keeping that from being my life was that i wasnt old enough, or probably i hoped that it was just a matter of time. it was less like i was extrapolating from my own limited observations of the worse aspects of life that life must be great and more like i was already noticing that my world was lacking and just hoping that it would grow out of it; not to mention being given the hint that stuff like abuse was my own fault and shortcomings i started getting more aware of being fed up with things / that they weren't inherently going to change around like late elementary school / middle school but it would take another year or two to really get the extent of it, and in the meantime by 14 or 15 at the latest i was consciously suicidal so like, moving fast there. i probably by that point had already caught on to the fact that my world had just been kind of shitty and that it wasnt going to change or seem better after a certain amount of time like i'd thought it would. and then add also having a better understanding of the rest of the world just by being older and getting more experience and realizing that its a lot more chaotic than initially taught to you and that being depressed and having developed few interests and zero ambitions and having antagonistic parents and very few friends doesnt do much to give you as much a cushion from that chaos as it could tangent: honestly i like programs that teach instructors how to recognize things that look like Behavior Issues as maybe more being signs of external issues. i wasnt the best at paying attention and i was often quiet in school whether in class or not and it mightve been a problem if i didnt get good grades but since i did i could just be in the background. i don't particularly resent this or anything because i know how teaching is and i myself didnt really understand i had serious problems at home until much later, but in retrospect i think i always had signs. i remember one particular incident when i was about 8 really shouldve been a bit of a warning sign. i know nobody can really do anything even if they know things are bad but considering i had to learn what abuse looked like by myself and i didnt feel supported by any adult and even when i knew what was going on when i was much older i still just didnt tell anyone in any position of authority because i had learned i had to protect myself by keeping personal things totally confidential and that if i exhibited any signs of struggling i would be blamed and chastised for it. wouldve been nice to at least be informed what was going on at an earlier time and maybe given some sense of confidence or at least a sense it wasn't completely my fault. turns out what gave me any ounce of confidence at all was being like 19 and being so blamed and maligned that it backfired and i started feeling like if i was as awful as i was made out to be then surely i didnt need to feel ashamed and responsible for everything that was being done to me. if i already deserved to be dead then what more could i bring on myself by daring to be so terrible as to feel i shouldnt be treated like i was! checkmate atheists anyhow, i feel like my Good Concepts About The World kind of evolved from "later on everyone has adventures" to "later on everyone goes to middle school / high school and makes friends and bonds with their family and follows their dreams" to something just more vaguely escapist with abstracted ideas about simply feeling comfortable and nice, with maybe general imagery, usually like summer sunsets or just some nice stars or something. i thought about it once and it made a lot of sense, thinking about stuff in terms of the concept of feeling ok and good things existing in the world and being able to sense it despite it also being at a distance or otherwise removed like dont get me wrong just because i wanna be dead i dont have some kind of notion that everyone else's experience of life is the same as mine i.e. that life and/or the world is inherently shit, i know its no more objectively bad than it is objectively good. i still like to think about the good side of all of it. i think its a total mistake to have the idea that if someone is suicidal or even just depressed that it necessarily has anything to do with what they think of the philosophy of the concept of Life, its more personal and immediate than that. honestly i hate all the advice about how you need to write a poem for your suicidal friend to teach them the magic of life or do some otherwise melodramatic bad y.a. novel shit that'll give them a New Perspective on the wonders of life literally overnight. not only is it always disgustingly patronizing and often counterproductively Tough Love-esque but also totally like unrelated to the root of the problem of "what if i'm worried about a friend making a suicide attempt." if you're personally wanting to do something i s2g literally just provide a distraction. talk about random shit or play online scrabble or go over and make midnight snacks, not like set a flower on fire while dropping a porcelain teapot on the floor and lecturing them about how this Doesnt Solve Any Problems or is a permanent solution to a temporary problem like no. just be a distraction jfc and dont insult anyone by generalizing their experience and guessing at what's probably an extremely complex and personal matter and turning it into empty clichés anyways: this was the longest way to get to the idea that isnt it wild when, like how you can Hear a sound in your head and despite recreating it decently its different from actually hearing it externally, you can sometimes remember what it was like to feel nice about the concept of life? i cant really summon earlier things but sometimes i can remember flashes of having those later sad-person-in-their-own-head moments of thinking of distant abstract concepts like seeing the sky as a medium for connection to the infinite experiences of humanity, and i can get like the equivalent of a visual image of a recreated feeling from back when i still had a few lingering overly-optimistic notions that things would be good soon. don't get me wrong, again im still aware of the good things in life and i still have good experiences and still feel good feelings. but i dont harbor expectations that the course of life must and will average itself out or lean towards improvement for any reason, like knowing that good things happening to you out of the blue is the same as how terrible things can happen for exactly the same reason—namely no reason at all. so i just dont have the same feelings i used to about my own personal life, and i dont feel the things i used to when i hoped it still could be Only A Matter Of Time. so its wild when for some reason i mentally stumble on the memory of having those feelings and theyre still recent enough that i get a moment of recreating the feeling like i do when i can picture something in my head, and its totally different and dissonant than what's currently true for me. it wasn't a more accurate perspective to think that life being bad meant it had to improve, but its obviously a nicer feeling. and it sounds like overused to the point of meaningless comparison but its like getting your head above water for a second in terms of the momentary contrast of sensation tldr its wild when you depressioning 24/7 and dead inside and have an instant of remembering What It Was Like To Feel Things

[mylovingbouquetearthquakewo-blog]

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The answer I seem to get is it can be statistically proven that males are more aggressive,speed and get into more accidents. That may be the case, but I am sure you can prove that a particular ethnicitiy gets into more accidents too, or that people with a particular eye color get into more accidents or that people with an IQ below 100 get into more accidents. So why don't they charge them more for car insurance too? You can say insurance companies have the right to charge more if an event is more likely to happen, like Earthquake insurance is more expensive in California than it is in Michigan. The difference there is that when you charge Californians more there, you are basing it on an uncontrollable act of nature that is almost certain to happen, but when you charge that male more for car insurance you are making judgements about a person's character, making assumptions about his future behavior and financially punishing him for it before he has even done anything. Tell me where I am wrong""

""How much would it cost me for motorcycle insurance in toronto, ontario?""

I'm 16, going on 17 in march, and have my G1. I have a 1984 Honda cm250 custom that has been sitting in the garage and I've decided I'd like my M1 as well. Before I get it I was interested in how much I would be looking at paying for it per month/year. It would be used for pleasure, to get to and from school, and the odd day to go driving, probably less then 12 000km a year. If there's any info missing I'll gladly add it in. Here's all the info on the bike: Years Manufactured: 1982 - 1984 Category: Classic, Custom Engine & Transmission Engine Displacement: 234.00 cc (14.28 cubic inches) Engine Type: Four Stroke Twin Horse Power (kW): 17.00 (12.4) @ 7500 Compression Ratio: 9.4 : 1 Compression Pressure: 170.7 psi (12.0 kg/cm2) Bore x Stroke: 2.09 x 2.09 in (53.00 x 53.00 mm) Valves Per Cylinder: 2 Fuel Control: OHC Ignition System: CDI Cooling system: Air Gears: 5 Number of Plain / Friction Plates (cutch): 6 / 6 Transmission Type / Final Drive: Chain (1982, 1984) Belt (1983) Weight (including oil and gas): 317.5 lbs (144.0 kg) Top speed: ~75 mph (120 Km/h) Fuel Efficiency: ~50 mpg, city (21 Km/L) Engine & Transmission Front Wheel Dimensions: 18 in Rear Wheel Dimensions: 16 in Front Tire Dimensions: 3.25S18-4PR Rear Tire Dimensions: 110/90-16 59S Front Tire Pressure: 25 psi (1.75 kg/cm2) Rear Tire Pressure: 25 psi (1.75 kg/cm2) Rear Tire Pressure (>200 lbs): 32 psi (2.25 kg/cm2) Front Fork Travel: 5.5 in (140 mm) Front Fork Oil Capacity: 4.56 fl oz (135 cc) Rear Fork Travel: 2.9 in (75 mm) Front and Rear Brakes: Expanding Brake (hub) Engine & Transmission Spark Plug Type (NGK / ND): CR7HS / U22FSR-U Electrical System Voltage: 12 volts Alternator Output: 190 watts @ 5000 rpm Fuel capacity (total): 3.3 gal (12.5 lit) Fuel capacity (reserve): 0.4 gal (1.5 lit) Oil Capacity 1.6 qt (1.5 lit)""

""Best insurance company? People with actual experience, having made a claim please.?""

Hi, I am wondering what you consider to be the best insurance company -- mainly for auto, but also maybe for combination auto and home. Please, I need people who have had more experience with the company than just buying their insurance there. I need people who have actually had to make a claim and to tell me how good the company was about it and if they were quick to respond and take care of the situation. Also, did your rates go up as a result? Also, good prices are very important to me. Where did you get reasonable rates with great service? These could be traditional or online insurance providers. I am looking into all options, so I appreciate any input, although like I said before, I need to know from people who have made a claim -- or done more than just pay for insurance. Thank you for all your help.""

Best car for cheap car insurance England?

i'm looking for an affordable car for my first one i'm a 19 year old female, i''ve checked a 2001 ford ka 1.3 and it was the second cheapest one for insurance which was 1500 the only thing putting me off is my friend had one and she said it guzzled petrol :P which i think she means it wasted petrol, the cheapest was a fiat 500 the insurance was 1300 but i really can't afford one so just want a cheap run around until i've saved up enough to buy a new one, does anyone know any affordable cars max price 1500 with cheap insurance thanks!! oh and if anyone has had a ford ka do you recommend one?""

Car insurance?

I have only liability insurance. If I rented a car will liability only insurance cover the car if I got in an accident or do I need to have full coverage?

Car insurance and criminal convictions?

I was recently without going into detail convicted on a public disorder charge of harresment and have just passed my test at 18 and was looking forward to getting on the road and found cheapish quotes on places like lv and aviva etc but ive just realised in the smallprint or insurance assumptions you are not aloud one criminal conviction and cant find anyone that allows them but i know plenty of people that are on the road that have criminal convictions its all a confusing issue can anyone help?

Insurance Quote on WRX for 19 Year Old?

Hi im just curious if anyone out there could tell me what im probably going to be paying for a 2009 Subaru WRX. Im 19, male, and in my second year of college no tickets only one accident which WASNT my fault. Progressive wants to charge me $466 a MONTH. car would be payed off after 1 month and i live at home with parents HELP ME!""

How are home insurance rates in hawaii?

I'd like to buy close to the water (would be impacted by hurricanes). FLA is ridiculous now-cant get insurance near the water for entire home value. Thought Hwi might be better since they dont get hit so much.

Does you're engine being a V-8 vs a V-6 matter in what u pay for insurance?

i'm 16 and want to buy a white mustang, i'll spend the extra money for the V-8 but i don't know if it will increase my insurance costs, will it?""

""Car insurance cancelled,what to do?""

I've had car insurance for around 5 months and because i was late on 2 payments they have cancelled my insurance today. i'e looked for an alternative insurance but because i had it cancelled nobody will take me on. is there any other options,surely somebody being late doesnt mean they cant ever get to drive again??""

Insurance on a scion?

how much is the insurance on a scion? if im a teen and i took drivers ed with safe way.

Can a health insurance company decline your request to cancel?

Here's the situation: I've had health insurance for the past few years through Nationwide, which is/was provided by my employer. The cost is taken out of my check every week. I received a letter from my employer last December stating that I did not have to change anything in regards to the Affordable Health Care Act. Two months later, I received a letter from my insurance company saying that I have inadequate coverage and need to visit healthcare.gov to find different coverage. I found new coverage through Blue Cross Blue Shield through healthcare.gov (I was planning on going BCBS anyway). I asked the woman who I spoke with when I should cancel my previous insurance benefits. She replied Wait a couple of weeks until you get all of your new information from BCBS . Here's where the issue comes in. When I contacted Nationwide (my previous insurance company) to cancel they said I had to fill out and send back a form. Basically, the form asked why I was cancelling. Go figure there was no option for them not having the correct benefits. Anyway, I sent that back and proof of my new policy (they wanted the effective date) Nationwide DENIED my request to cancel stating that I only had 30 days from the time my new coverage began to inform them. Even though their coverage doesn't meet the AHCA requirements, I cannot cancel until my company's open enrollment (December) Can they legally decline my cancellation request?""

Car insurance cover ?

I have Allstate's car insurance (full cover =liability +collision+medical.......) Some time I go out of county but still in USA.Please let me know if my car insurance automaticcaly covers the car rented ?-Liability only or-Liability and collision+comprehensive Thank you

I need a cheap auto Insurance company.?

Can anyone recommend a specific company in California that they use and was either told or knows that they are a low cost agency? Thanks for your help.

What's the point of car insurance?

I've been paying my insurer monthly for several years. I have one relatively small accident where my damage doesn't reach deductible (so I have to pay for my damage out of pocket in full), they pay the other car which was around $1500 or so. They raise my premium for 3 years to an amount where in 3 years I end up paying for the other car anyway, and I still pay monthly as I have for all of the years before that... I'm trying to figure out how that's beneficial - outside of the fact that they paid upfront.""

Does child support cover car insurance?

I'm about to drive but my dad keeps telling me that he refuses to pay car insurance because he says it's in the child support. However, my mom is the one who bought my car... Does child support cover car insurance?""

Medical Health Insurance Florida: Family Plans?

I am looking for affordable medical health insurance plans for my family. We live in Florida.

Price Would Car Insurance?

I have like no idea how everything works.. what would be a good starting car to just start driving in? im 17 soon and ill be going for my driving lessons soon.. and i want to know what the sort of insurance prices would be for an 18 year old..thanks x Sorry if i talk too much lol.

Hidden car insurance add-ons? (for example red paint cost more to insure)?

I know that your car insurance cost more if your vehicle is painted red, and if something that ridiculous is going to up my insurance price, I'm sure it's not alone. So, my QUESTION ~> Does anyone know of any other stupid details that will add to my car insurance bill?<~ (I'm looking to buy my first car and I have to pay for my own insurance. So I'm trying to avoid extra stupidity before it hits me with a financial price-upper.) HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!""

Insurance industry Q&A - what entry level insurance job ...?

what entry level insurance job would be good for someone looking to break into the industry?chicago i have 0 years experience but i have a BA degree undeclared. im fimilar with ms office software.

pet insurance lifetime cover quotes

pet insurance lifetime cover quotes

Is minimum coverage car insurance the same as an SR22?

In Tennessee, is minimum coverage car insurance the same as an SR22? I already have minimum coverage but am now required to get an SR22. Is this something that needs to be added on or will minimum coverage suffice? Thanks.""

I filed a claim with my insurance company and am now being charged a claim surcharge. Is this legal?

I've had a home-owner's and auto policy with Allstate for the last 4 years. The increase was labeled a claim surcharge. The surcharge is almost 500 dollars

Question about car insurance?

if insurers are allowed to stereotype that all males are aggresive drivers and as a result should be charged more, why do asians not have higher premiums too? hasent it been proven that driving below the speed limit is just as dangerous as speeding? i did a quote for a car im looking to buy, and insurance would be about $6000 a year for me (17 year old male), for my girlfriend it would only be $3000. i think thats pathetic! not all male drivers are bad, sure a lot are, but alot of asians are horrible drivers!""

How much would insurance be when you first sign up.?

well im about to turn 17 and the car i have is a 2000 pontiac gran prix with the 3.8L V6. i live in the city and my grade average is 89% and have allot of experience driving. id also only be driving to school and work about 15k a year. and currently the car has 160k on it. i hoping someone can give me a price of what it would cost me, as iv tryed to get insurance quotes online but never recive the quote itself.""

How much is insurance for a 2001 mercury cougar. If I am 16? (EST.)?

Hello. I am looking for my first car. I am looking at a 2001 mercury cougar not the S series just the 3 door coupe.. Now the qoute gieco gave me was $325.01 a month. I live in Minnesota and I am a 16 year old male. I don't have anything on my record at all. I was wondering if 325.01 a month sounded right because I dont think so. That's like $4,000 a year and the car only costs $5,999. Also would it be better to go on my parents insurance plan with State Farm? Or to get my own? Thank you very much for helping me with advice with this.""

Can 15 minutes really save you 15% on car insurance ......?

.... with Geico?

Whats a cheap car insurance In nj?

For a person with a new lisence thats 18 years old

Insurance on a 1275 gt mini for a 17 year old?

My friend has just passed his driving test and I'm trying to help him get a car and insurance sorted. He's determined to get an old 1275 gt mini. I can see why though. I've been getting insurance quotes and they're all coming back at over 5,000 every time. I must be doing something wrong. I'm just wondering if any of yous could help me and give me an idea of what it would cost for a 17 year old male who's just passed his test on a 1275 gt? Thanks.""

Geico homeowners insurance experience?

I have been getting quotes for a new home I am in the process of purchasing. I checked Geico homeowners insurance whiich works through ASI insurance. They quoted me a very low rate. 50% then the lowest of the other companies for the same coverage. Is there something I am missing here? Does anyone have any experience with this insurance?

Car accident? How much should I expect when I settle?

I was in an accident 6 months ago (it was the other persons fault) and I am still going to the chriopractor and doing physical therapy, I got my car paid off which was totalled and this accident has changed my life and many of my plans were changed due to it. Im still in pain and have a scar how much money should I be expecting for my pain and suffering since I already got my property damage. Will I have to pay my medical bills with this money? The other insurance is a branch of allstate (i dont know if that helps)""

""Why after almost 4 years in office, can we not get affordable health insurance that was promised us?

I have a preexisting condition which makes it difficult to get affordable Health Insurance. I have found that it is better in some instances to have no insurance then to have it and not get quality coverage. The limited indemnity insurance does not cover what it is worth to go to the hosipital. Pays $100 on a $4000 bill.

Should I get mortgage life and disability insurance?

I just bought a house on my own and the bank is asking me if I want to get mortgage life and disability insurance. I've got life insurance through work (plus separate life insurance on my own) and disability insurance through work which is at 75% of my pay after 4 months. The mortgage and disability insurance is $47/ month. Do most people get additional insurance on the mortgage? I don't have any kids, husband, parents or siblings living in the same country (they're in Europe).""

How much would the insurance cost for a 2004 Subaru impreza wrx. Not sti.?

Im 17... So it normally costs more for me anyway. My dad and mom has had geico for a while now. My dad says I can't get it cuz the insurance will cost too much on a turbo car. I can't live without a turbo car!!!!!

Part-time job enough to pay car insurance?

Would a part-time job at a mall store or movie theatre pay enough to cover an 18-year-olds car insurance? How old are you and how much does your car insurance cost monthly?

""NO MONTHLY PAYMENTS, underground CAR INSURANCE?""

I heard that there is a car insurance where you only pay $50 one time, no monthly payments, but you get absolutely NO coverage, so if you're in an accident you are basically screwed. it is a legal insurance if a cop pulls you over and check your insurance it comes up fine. Maybe there are other ones that range in fees? Either way does anyone know any companies that do THE ONE TIME FEE .... IT IS TO PURCHASE JUST THE INSURANCE CARD. BUT PASSES CLEAN LIKE YOU ARE COVERED. please help?""

Need help selecting my individual medical/health insurance?

Now let me start by saying that I am a single man at the age of 18. I am starting therapy soon and I need individual medical insurance to pay for the sessions and any possible prescriptions that might be prescribed. But when I try and search online I just don't understand all the info provided. Where can I find affordable insurance (im hoping about $50-$80 a month) that covers me for everything therapy and prescriptions, quick to get, and are easily understandable(if there is). If there are no simple stated insurance company's can someone tell me what I must make sure to have on the plan and what they mean?""

How do you adjust a W2 form for group term life insurance?

I'm working on a project for a payroll class. Our company provides group term life insurance to the employees. The group insurance is carried at 1.5x the annual earnings of the employee. The employee pays $.30 for every $1,000 in group life insurance each month to pay the premium. The remaining premium is paid by the employer and debited from an insurance expense account. The whole project, we haven't made any employer premium expense entries. We've only focused on the employee's entries and the credits into the group insurance premiums collected liability account for said deductions. Now, at the end of the year, preparing the W2 forms, I'm at a loss for how to treat this. Is the amount over $50,000 added to the wages, tips and compensation for the income tax paid on it? I've read through the W2 instructions but I just don't understand it that well if someone could explain it.""

How much should I be expecting from my insurance accident. ?

Hi I'm only 20 years old and last year I was involved in a car accident were the girl turned and hit me ad made me run into a house. I was unconscious until I was in the ambulance and I went right to the hospital were they have done X-rays. I found out that my t-12 lower spine was fractured and I had a concussion. Now my career was working sheet metal and I was told due to my injury I won't be able to continue or else I'll get more injured. The accident was on may 26th 2011 it is no march 17th 2012 I only receive 300$ a month from benefits and I am l looking for a new career now and going back to school. I just did a MRI and I am seeing a orthopedic surgeon in a couple weeks. Now the girl that hit me had no isurance and invalid sticker. She pretty much ruind my life but it happens. I am going through a lawyer here in Toronto suppose to be the best. I'm still in very much pain hurts everyday can barly stay still for no longer than a couple hours. I am doing physio. I was wondering how much I should be expecting. I heard that I sue my insurance cause se doesn't have any, then I go sue her? Is this true?""

Quoted insurance price?

I purchased insurance on the online weekend for my car. I paid the first monthly installment. Only to have a phone call telling me this price was wrong it was a computer error and the policy will cost a lot more. Do I have any rights here? Or must I simply front the rest of the cash to keep my car insured?

Insurance cost for 2.3l fox body mustang 16 year old?

I am 16 and considering purchasing a 2.3l four cylinder mustang. These were made from the mid 80's to early 90's. They have like no power but get good mpg. I am worried that insurance companies would see the word mustang and give me a high rate. BTW my sister is 17 and pays only 50 a month on a family plan for a 1995 suzuki sidekick.

Can I drive the car on my own insurance?

I have car insurance and I am allowed to drive any car with the owners permission,does the car I am borrowing have to have its own insurance for me to be able to drive it lawfully""

Where can I get a free auto insurance quote?

I would like to know of a website that offers a free auto insurance quote?

What is the best Insurance company for car quotes ??? (Cheapest)?

Im looking for a cheap reliable insurance company i can get a qoute for a 2003 Vauxhall Corsa 1.2

My car was stolen....how much is my insurance gonna go up ?

my loan is 25,000""

How much is car insurance for a 17 year old female ?

I am turning 17 on july 6 and i will be getting my license on that day too, my parents said they will pay for the car but i only have to pay for the insurance . how much is insurance?""

pet insurance lifetime cover quotes

pet insurance lifetime cover quotes

Need help with Car Insurance?

I am a 17 year old male in california, who just bought a 92 Buick Skylark and I need to no what would be my best bet when it comes to getting insurance, I would like cheap insurance, as cheap as I can get. I have shopped around and its not helping. PLEASE DONT SAY LOOK IT UP YOURSELF CAUSE I HAVE AND I AM ASKING FOR SOME HELP!!!""

Where can a single mother with 2 kids (21 18) get low cost health insurance?

My parents have recently divorced. My father is moving back to Ireland and has to quit his job. My mother, brother, and I were covered under his insurance. But once he leaves the country our insurance will cease. My mother works at home and does not make very much money. We are looking for coverage for the three of us that is not expensive and very low cost as we do not have the means to afford much. We only need it for about a year as I will be graduating and teaching full time as a NYC teacher by next September. *My brother is legally blind, but other than that there are no serious health issues and none of us are tobacco users. *We are hoping to get insurance that would cover quality licensed professionals. *We understand in this economy you get what you pay for, But we honestly do not have much. We are hoping for something affordable without being skimmped on coverage. Thanks :-)""

""My car has been tranferred name, if I still drive the car, do I need to buy new car insurance?""

I am existing car owner, due to financial problem, I transfer my car to my brother's name. However, I still drive the car, would I need to buy new car insurance for myself, or I can still using existing one""

600cc supersport vs 1000cc sport insurance cost?

I'm young and most insurance companies wouldn't insure me on a supersport until I've been riding for 3 years. So i'm wondering if for some dumb reason they'd be more likely to insure me on a 1000cc sportbike than a 600cc supersport bike just because the 600 is a ss. The other part of the question is what's the deal with 1000cc vs 600ccSS with older riders? Thanks love ya guys

Im pregnant and dont have health insurance.?

Recently my boyfriend lost his job and we lost our health insurance. What can i do to get insurance for myself and our two other kids, him? I live in california""

Is it possible to find a health insurance plan with no deductible requirement?

I found the perfect plan for $33 a month, but it has a $10,000 deductible. WTF? Unless I become pregnant and have a kid, or need surgery or whatever, I find it impossible to make a $10,000 bill within a year. That's too much. I've always been healthy and rarely need to visit doctors. Then I was looking at other policies and they were more expensive, but they all had deductibles. One was like $160 a month with a deductible of $5,000. And anyways, I'm a college student and financially independent which means that I am no daddy's girl -I have to work to support myself and pay some school expenses. I don't want to depend on my parents financially in any way (they are willing to, but I just feel like at 21, I shouldn't be their responsibility anymore) so I always worry something would happen to me and they would have to pay hospital bills for me. I can't afford paying a very high deductible or a high monthly quote. Any hope for me? ..or should I move to Canada?""

How do I sue my car insurance company?

I was in a car accident in March 2008 in a parking lot. The insurance companies BOTH decided that we were 50/50 at fault for the accident. During this process I kept getting phone calls asking me to verify WHY a person not on my policy was driving my car at the time of the accident. I repeatedly corrected the insurance companies...yes BOTH of them...saying that I AM AN INSURED DRIVER and I was driving my car. I had no passengers. I was in an accident with another single driver with no passengers. Eventually it seemed like everything was fine. The claim closed on May 2 and I thought it was all over. BUT today, May 29, I received a letter in the mail telling me that policy is being cancelled because WE HAD REQUESTED INFORMATION REGARDING --------- AS THE DRIVER OF THE 03/27/2008 CLAIM. TO DATE, THIS HAS NOT BEEN RECEIVED. I have NO IDEA what they are talking about. He is the OTHER driver. However, they are pretty much ignoring my calls and emails. What can I do???""

Insurance question with two names on the title?

i am in the miltary active duty 22 male. my car is currently back home in illinois sitting in the driveway with storage insurance, which am i under my parents policy. My mother co-signed the loan for the car two years ago with our bank, a relatively large bank not chase of b.o.a. so there are two names on the title, mine and moms. my girlfriend soon to be fiance lives in arizona and she needs my car so i want to have here go to ill to get it and drive it back. so we looked at insurance through state farm, got the quote everything ready to go she would pick up the insurance card as soon as she gets back to illinois. so it will be insured in illinois, we are both licensed in ill but shed be driving it in arizona. MOMS concern is that bc her name is on the title if anything were to happen; girlfriend hits someone and they are seriously injured or killed and girlfriend of we as a couple cannot pay for the bills that they would come after my mom as she is on the title of the car. it seems to me that my insurance would cover this(i forgot to mention this new policy is under my name and my name only) is there any liability on her part at all. her small town insurance said yes there would be and state farm said no none at all... can you through your experience or professional experience please help me clear this up so mom can be at ease with this please...AGAIN I NEED TO KNOW IF THERE WILL BE ANY LIABILITY ON MOMS PART, AS HER NAME IS ON THE TITLE OF THE CAR BUT NOT ON THE INSURANCE POLICY..thanks alot i appreciate your knowledge""

Re Insurance?

I took out an insurance policy with swinton Insurance they quoted me 250.00 I agreed to this amount. I have been driving for over 12 years with no claim made against my policy. Due to the way my previous insurer only counted 5 years no claims bonus insurance that is all they have a record plus three years I was with them. Because the new insurer uses 9 years no claims they now want me to pay an extra 22.00 I know on the one hand this is not a lot of money on the other hand I don't see why I should have to pay it. They are saying If I don't pay it they will cancel it and charge a cancellation charge does anyone know the legal situation whether I have to pay by law or not.

Cheap car insurance in north london?!?

Hi. any advice on cheap car insurance living in north London for a 18 year old female. I am getting ridiculous quotes. Any advise appreciated Thank you.

Why do people hate Obamacare so much?

Because of this law, a lot of people are now able to get affordable health insurance. I'm one of those people. I can buy my epilepsy medication at an affordable price. Why do Republicans want to rip this away from me and go back to the way things were before? By the way, I was on my parents insurance before, but I moved out because I needed to be a man and get out on my own. Because of Obamacare, that is much more affordable now for me. Health care was a disaster before this law. What will Republicans do if they repeal Obamacare?""

How much would insurance cost for a motorcycle?

I'm 16 and I live in va. I was wondering how much insurance would cost for a 600cc and a 250cc. A sportbike. Like the ninja 250. But I'm trying for a 600cc, either yamaha r6 or a ninja 650r. Thanks""

Can I suspend my car insurance?

I am 18 years old, male, clean driving record, good student, going to college. I will only be going home for occasional weekends, and vacations, and I would like to be insured so I can drive my car (saturn 2000 sl) around. I want to have coverage when I need it, but don't want to pay for a whole year of car insurance. I do not know a lot about car insurance but, Is it possible to just call up my car insurance company (MetLife) whenever I want and suspend or unsuspend my car insurance? This way I don't have to pay for a whole year of car insurance when i am only using it for weekends, week breaks, or winter and summer vacations (probably 5 months per year). Is this a normal practice? Thanks!!""

About how much does motorcycle insurance cost?

and is it more than car?...about...

Best overall car insurance company?

In your opinion (or based on any experiences) what is the best kind of car insurance?

EX(executive) class model car insurance?

Is it true EX class model car have higher insurance rate? I want to buy an honda accord 2000 EX.

Provisional insurance for young driver?

Looking to get insured on my mums car but my mums insurance company wont put me on her insurance,,,, could i get insured by a company such as provisional marmalade? Any other suggestions?""

Motorcycle and atv insurance?

Eventually i plan to get a motorcycle (suzuki hayabusa) and atv (yamaha raptor). What is the average cost of insurance for both of those??

Car insurance and CVT?

What is insurancegroup 13? how much would insurance be for a 16yr old first time driver on Mazda MX-5 2.0i 2dr Powershift Convertible. And cvt means the gears change by them self? good/bad? thanks

Auto accident??? insurance?

just wondering how much will my auto insurance go up if i file a claim?? there was no injuries and no damage to the other partys car. my car was estimated $4000 of damage to fix.. me and my mom pay $180 a month for 3 cars. 2 full coverage and 1 is only liability. good thing that i have full cov on the car i used.

Driving points for no insurance?

How many points do you receive for driving without insurance in michigan?

Homeowners insurance vs. property taxes?

which typically costs more homeowners insurance or property taxes?

Will it be more expensive to get health insurance in January?

When I did my income tax they said starting 2014 there gonna start charging a penalty fee for not having health insurance I'm looking for some right now but I'm not working right now and my employer dosent provide insurance so I was thinking in January when I start working Will it be more expensive because there's like a lot deadlines for insurance right now in December

If private insurance companies are so bad...?

Why doesn't the government nationalize life insurance and car insurance?

""Do you think that the government ought to put a cap on car insurance ,and the prices they charge since its law""

car insurance is at rediculous rates. government says everyone has to have it , and insurance companies are making it almost impossible to afford. I have a wife and 2 kids we have to have 2 vehicles. but i can't afford the insurance on either one of them. now i'm breaking a law. what does anyone else think.""

pet insurance lifetime cover quotes

pet insurance lifetime cover quotes

Travelers -safeco insurance..need help?

Hi Everybody .. I am in CA and paying around $2K yearly for Auto Insurance only . I recently got a quote from Travelers and Safeco Insurance for about 1400 yearly (for Auto and Home) . That is a very good saving but I have not heard much about these insurance companies . Any Ideas on how good and reliable these companies are ? Is Travelers better than safeco or vice versa .. Any help is greatly appreciated

Do i need insurance for a project vehicle?

I am looking to get a project car to build until i can drive do i need insurance

How much will my insurance cost?

I know this is going to be different by state, and maybe even by zip code, but all I want is a average, or rough estimate what my insurance will cost. I'm 18 years old,(male)and have had my license for two years, and I have a clean history, and have never had an accident or ticket. My car is a 2000 Ford Focus ZX3, with a 2.0 Zetec engine, and 5 speed manual transmission. I also live in the state of Virginia. So how much would my insurance cost me monthly? I'll be on my fathers insurance aloso by the way. As I said, I know this will not be accurate, but I just want a guess to start with to have an idea on what I'll be paying monthly.""

How much would insurance be for a BMW 3 series from 2001 with 150k miles?

My dad said he'd buy me a BMW if the insurance isn't considerably higher than my brothers, who drives a 2004 VW Golf. I'm a 16 year old male and will probably be driving within a year but I want to know whether the insurance would be considerably higher than a golf. We live in Dallas TX Thank You""

""Mortgage, HOMEOWNER INSURANCE, lost jobs advice.?""

I need some advice! (Please, please keep your advice to constructive criticism, please) We are coming out of a messy situation where we both lost our jobs. But now we have acquired ...show more""

What kind of insurance do i need to get a license in California?

what do i need to get and how do i get it if my parents do not want to put me under there policy and i do not own a car myself. and i am also looking for the cheapest possible insurance

I am 18 and car insurances are too fukcing high (UK)?

hello, my first car will be a peugeot 1007 and most of the quotes offer me 5000 pounds which is a super joke because its impossible for me to afford it and also my mom. I'll be the first one to drive in the family and we badly need a car soon because its so hard to carry a 100 kg. sack of rice for 3 miles from the shop to the train station from the train station to our house with a return ticket. plus also, my mom's been cycling to her work for almost 10 years now and she's getting old and the least i could do is drive her to work. 1.) so my question is, why is this rule or law so much biased and stereotyped against the youth? isn't it time to change our perspectives, to be quite frank the youth of today are a lot more intelligent than the previous generations. 2.) why are car insurance companies and the UK government such a dick? 3.) why aren't there any activists protesting about these prices? that's all thank you.""

What is the best way to shop and compare for disability insurance? 30 year term life insurance?

We want to buy a house and since stated income loans are no longer available, a friend has offered to cosign for us to help us get the loan we need. We want to be sure that no accident will keep me from being able to pay the mortgage so that we all can sleep soundly. Thanks for any advice!""

""How much is car insurance for a 25 yr,female primary driver-Owning and being insured for the first time-Canada""

This will be the first time, I own and insure a car. It will be a new model, either 2006 or 2007 sedan or SUV. I am 25 years old. I am a female. I have had my DL for 3-4 years now. I've only been insured under my mother's insurance (for short times, while visiting her in the States!) Upon, buying my own new vechile, in Canada, I was wondering, what the range would be for: A.) Myself being primary driver B.) Additional, second driver, boyfriend 24, new first time driver! C.) A + B If someone could help me out, I would be greatful on any information or links pertaining to Canadian information. Cheers, Jennifer""

How can i lower my car insurance quotes? just turned 17?

i bought me a 1.4 polo and i dont know sh*t about insurance, can someone give me some tips on how to lower my car insurance?""

Car insurance?

I got my license 2 weeks ago and I am getting a car this week. What insurance company would you recommend that I go with? Progressive, Gieco or AIG. If you have any others, feel free to throw it out there.""

How can forcing people to have car insurance compare to forcing health insurance?

Actually this equates to Slavery by the government??? You do not have to buy car insurance if you do not own a car. Secondly, if your car is paid for then you only have to have liability insurance to protect others not for the repairs of your own car. Yet, forcing everyone to have health insurance would fall on every individual regardless of age, sex, race, income, ect. If you do not have enough after paying your monthly bills you will be fined and even serve prison time with a $25,000 fee. This essentially goes against Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness isn't it? Liberals want to say everyone should have, and the government should provide? Yet, this is not government providing it is government enslaving you to have?? Slippery slope they are weaving and the benefits will be far less than we have today with the government oppression on each individual.""

How much will car insurance be for me?

Well I'm 17, I have a 2008, mitsubishi eclipse se, and I've been driving since age 16, no violations or accidents. It will be added onto my parent's account.""

Cheapest way to insure a car temporarily?

I have had a company car for the last 2 years and looking to buy a 2nd car for a little bit of fun on a few weekends a year. I dont want to buy a full years insurance as it is too expensive (looking at a porshe convertable) and I am only 21. Can anyone suggest a cheap way of which i can only insure the car for a few days a year? Thank you, Richard""

Question about Travel Insurance/Health Insurance?!?

Say there is a person living in the US without any health insurance what-so-ever, and they are taking a trip to Europe for a month and want to purchase travel insurance. Will the insurance company sell it to them? And does the insurance cover any medical emergencies while abroad?""

Can I drive my new used car without insurance for 30 days?

I just bought a new used car today. I have insurance on my old car still (in my mom's name). Does that insurance cover my new car (in my name) for a bit do you think? Or should I just not drive it at all until i get it insured?

Can't afford college Health Insurance...?

I need some type of advice regarding my options. I feel like i've hit a dead end. I have a 4.0 and financial aid, however my state requires student have health insurance... and the only insurance my school offers is over $80 a week on top of the $85 a week lab fees, dr visits, and meds because I have a severe blood disorder and need to go get my blood check every week. I also have specialist visits once a month. I have medicaid right now and if I go to school at all I will lose it and I can't afford the student insurance. It would total up to be more than my rent each month not to mention they don't cover pre-existing conditions. I feel totally hopeless. I'm willing to move to another state if necessary where insurance is more affordable. I just really wanted to go to medical school and now I feel like my future is shot all because I'm not healthy.... Also, i can't take out a loan because i don't have credit being so young and although I was born in this country and my parents were from here, they relocated to a foreign country so they can't help me either.""

""I am disabled,my wife is 63 and cant get affordable insurance. anyone know where to look?

she only gets 700 a month ss and shes told if she got insurance it would be about 600 a month.what do we do?

Which is the best insurance policy for premium of 10 or 12k?

life insurance

How to get into a new Car Insurance?

About 1.5 yrs back my wife scratched another car while parking. The claim was settled using insurance. The expense was about $1500. Ever since that the insurance company, AAA, has been increasing our premiums by abt $35 on every renewal. Now I cannot switch or shop with other insurance company since they give quotes much higher than this company. But apart from this one incident we do not have anything else on our record. Also I get discount for Home+Auto insurance. The company increased prices on our Home Insurance too. I am badly stuck with this company now. I would like to buy Auto+home from one company itself. But I really cannot move my Auto Insurance. Please give suggestions.""

What do they test for when getting Life Insurance?

I wanted to get a life insurance policy for my family and myself. They want to take blood and a urine sample. What are they looking for? Drugs, nicotine, disease???? What's the deal?""

Who has the auto insurance california ?

I have a car that I want to sell. I only need insurance for about a month.

Is there anyway to get decent homeowners insurance at a cheap price?

My husband and are in the process of purchasing a small home. We are seniors living on a fixed income and have to watch every penny. We have two weeks to find the homeowners insurance and they all seem to be so high in price. Does anyone have any ideas how we find an affordable homeowners insurance?

Switching car insurance...?

my car insurance policy expires in March and I have full coverage. I had full coverage because I was financing my car. I recently paid it off and would like to switch to a lesser coverage. Can i do this before my policy expires in march or do i have to wait??

Motorcycle insurance question?

I've never been involved in an accident before and I dropped my bike in a parking lot learning 12 o clock wheelies and did a bunch of damage to my bike, maybe even totaling it. What do I tell my insurance company happened? Because they obviously won't cover my bike if they knew I was doing wheelies. Do I just tell them I slipped on some loose gravel and the bike fell or what?""

pet insurance lifetime cover quotes

pet insurance lifetime cover quotes

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/we-res-cheapest-place-get-car-insurance-megan-valenzuela/"

[weebonthe-edge]

Life update; Not personal

Ok whatever the FUCK is trying to screw me over I’m gonna beat. So in like December i wanted to start working out again and i knew if i waited until the new year started i would find some excuse to not do it. So I’m like “ok when i get home from school imma get physical yeah!!!!” And i was like excited bc i was gonna start off slow and pick it up as i improved. Well i get home and I’m feeling like shit. I’m coughing and my nose is all stuffy and I’m a little feverish. So I’m like ok guess I’ll sleep this off and try again tomorrow. So i wake up I’m feeling great. I know that today I’ll be able to do it. I get home and the same shit happens again! This goes on until winter break. Well i really really really hate showing effort to other people. Like i don’t mind practicing and like working at something to get better but i can’t stand the idea of other people knowing about my work toward improvement. Like it makes me sick to the point of physical nausea when people talk about “how proud they are of me that I’m working so hard” like i hate it. So i wasn’t able to do hardly anything during those two weeks. We come back for like 3 days(Friday Monday and tuesday) and i work out those days but THEN THE UNTHINKANLE HAPPens. We get a fucking snow week. Not a snow day a snow WEEK. An entire ten consecutive days off of school starting the Friday before mlk day. Throughout all of this i was fine throughout the daytime but around 5pm i had this really bad cough that would set in and like it just felt like extreme sinus drainage that was irritating my throat and when i would breathe to a certain lung capacity (a little over halfway) it would sound like a freaking Geiger Counter(and like the old ones from fallout idk what newer ones sound like). Anyways that only happened after the sun went down so i decided to exercise as soon as i got home and i was finally able to work out for a solid week (except Tuesday where i waited too long to start and 5:34 hit and i had to stop with only 38 mins in) the next week i decide to work out in the mornings and that goes BEAUTIFULLY i lost like 5 lbs and felt so good. Then Monday came and it was great! Then... Tuesday came. I woke up feeling like shit. I woke up coughing and all that but i wasn’t actually coughing anything up even though it felt kind i should be. I could barely breathe a little bit without the inner crackly sound in my lungs trigger another coughing fit. I go to school but i feel like super hot for a while then i get really cold switching every couple hours and I’m coughing a ton and the crackle is worse than usual so I’m like “ok I’m not going to school tomorrow”. So here we are Valentine’s Day: i was already kinda planning on skipping anyways bc I don’t exactly WANT to want to kms so i tell my mom and she’s like “yeah you’ve been better but now you sound a bad again i was gonna wait until Friday if you didn’t say anythig “ and we went to the walk in clinic. I got some face masks (friccin love those things) and they gave me this vape medicine treatment thing where i vaped for like 10 mins then we waited for the x rays and they were like “pretty sure u got pneumonia ok here’s ya stuff” and we went home. So now it’s the day after valentines and I’m feeling a lot better. I didn’t go to school today or yesterday. The cough is consistent and improving and my lungs don’t sound much like a Geiger counter unless i fill my lungs to Full Capacity. I don’t really wanna go tomorrow just to make sure but at the same time i could probably be fine. We don’t have school Monday. There’s been too many school shootings and close calls lately so they wanna review all the procedures and stuff to make sure they’re actuallyy gonna keep us safe enough if there’s a school shooting.

So yeah. I’m gonna start back working out on Tuesday morning and i swear if i catch the goddamn flu I’m gonna be so pissed! Like I’m pretty much gonna lose all the progress I’ve made in the past week and a half bc of how sedintary i have to be for recovery and it’s just like asaighhhhhhhhh!!! Anyways that’s what’s been going on in my life. How bout yours? At least one of y’all should message me or like send me and ask (on or off anon idc) or somethinggg bc imma be bored out of my mind. I can’t touch anything except the fridge and my phone so as not to spread germs and i mean there’s only so many apps to refresh!!!!

[dirtylaundrylooksgoodonme]

Do all of the question you posted because we wanna know everything about you

Ya know what fuck it I’m bored and this might be a laugh1. Are looks to important in a relationship?- yeah to a certain extent but they’re definitely not the most important thing 2. Are relationships ever worth it?- of course!3. Are you a virgin?- lol no4. Are you in a relationship?- nope 5. Are you in love?- I think I’ll always have a really strong affection for my first love but I’m not sure if I’m still completely in love with them 6. Are you single this year?- I had an extremely brief relationship at the beginning of the year lol7. Can you commit to one person?- tbh I’ve never really given commitment a try so who knows 8. Describe your crush- he’s a right dick tbh but sometimes can be a softy 9. Describe your perfect mate- idk cause i think it’s just all about the chemistry you have with someone, there’s not a specific set of physical or personality traits that make someone the perfect person for you 10. Do you believe in love at first sight?- nope11. Do you ever want to get married?- I’m open to it but leaning towards no12. Do you forgive betrayal?- too easily13. Do you get jealous easily?- not really14. Do you have a crush on anyone?- see question 515. Do you have any piercings?- ears, smiley and nipple16. Do you have any tattoos?- mandala on my left forearm 17. Do you like kissing in public?- ehhhhhhhhhhh not really20. Do you shower every day?- only on the days I’m leaving the house lol I’m grotty srry 21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?- I have no idea 22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?- dunno fam 23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?- yeah I think if it was the right person 24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?- no fucking way 25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?- I’m open to it 26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?- nope 27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?- not for me but I have a sneaking suspicion there may be a song or two about me (Christ that sounds arrogant)28. Have you ever been cheated on?- probably without my knowledge my ex was a bag of shit 29. Have you ever cheated on someone?- yeah sort of but it was on my aforementioned bag of shit ex and we weren’t officially together sooooooooo allow it 30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery?- hell yeah I’ve considered pretty much every plastic surgery in the book but I think if I was gonna get anything it’d be lip fillers 31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?- of course 32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?- YES33. Have you ever had sex with a man?-yep 34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?- nope 35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?- yep36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?- oh yah 37. Have you every liked someone who your friends hated?- my friends hate literally everyone I’ve ever liked 😂 38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?- yah and I ended up liking them the most who knew 39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?- yeah i had a massive boner for my old maths teacher ngl 40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?- nope41. Have you had sex so far this year?- hell yeah42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?- idk like 10 minutes? Is that normal?43. How long was your longest relationship?- my only official relationship was like a week long I have a terrible track record i feel attacked 44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?- n/a next question pls let’s move on 45. How many people did you kiss in 2011?- omg I actually know the exact answer to this cause my first proper kiss was in 2011 and that was the only kiss that year so just one 46. How many times did you have sex last year?- idk I wasn’t keeping count…should I start keeping count? I’m gonna start keeping count 47. How old are you?- 1948. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?- why the fuck are you telling me this, why is it your sole purpose in life to emotionally destroy me, you’re a psychopath 49. N/A50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?- HELL YEA I’d probably just melt 51. Is there someone who you would do absolutely everything for?- my best friend y'all 52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?- I haven’t totally given up but I’ve become far less invested cause they’re so far into drugs and just never let me be there for them, but if they ever said they needed me I would be there for them in a heartbeat 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?- you know what it actually seems to have pissed off quite a few people and i have no idea why, but there are a couple people that don’t know but I know that they’d be pissed off if they did know 54. Is there someone you will never forget?- of course55. Share a relationship story- one a time a guy broke up with me because he said he ‘wasn’t;t ready for a relationship’ then two months later he got a girl pregnant so….karma’s a bitch 56. State 8 facts about your body- I’m extremely unhealthy so my body is literally broken that’s it that’s all you need to know it is a broken shell that drags around my dead soul57. Things you want to say to an ex - was I ever special to you 58. What are five ways to win your heart?- spontaneously come visit me, make a big deal about me getting to know your friends, getting to know my friends, watch rlly trash tv and movies with me, don’t ever tell me what i can and can’t do 59. what do you look like?- check my face tag babes 😘 60. What is the biggest age gap between you and any of your partners?- only a couple years 61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?- probably how outgoing they are 62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?- rlly good head 63. What is your definition of 'having sex’?- when ur junk gets involved in any capacity 64. What is your definition of cheating?- I don’t think you can define it you just know it when you see it 65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?- why don’t u come over and find out 😏 66. What is your favourite role play?- have never role played 67. What is your idea of the perfect date?- Netflix and chill tbh 68. What is your sexual orientation?- bi but preference to guys 69. What turns you off?- the patriarchy 70. What turns you on?- 'I’m vegan’71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?- idk too many 72. What words do you like to hear during sex?- NONE. PLS DO NOT SPEAK. OUR YORKSHIRE ACCENTS WERE NOT MADE FOR SEX OK 73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?- buy me nice underwear 74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?- sense of style 75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?- sacked off work to come cheer me up that was cute 76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?- n/a i don’t do sweet 77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?- hey if it ain’t illegal then it’s none of my business you do you78. What’s your dirtiest secret?- i lost my virginity in a field but tbh that’s barely a secret anymore79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?- the guy I’m seeing gives my pets more attention than he gives me 80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?- errrr either the last time I saw my best friend or the last time i spoke to my dad 81. Who are five people you find attractive?- i find everyone attractive ngl 82. Who is the last person you hugged?- ahhhh it was actually this guy I’d met once before and I saw him out on Saturday night and i was fucked so decided that cause we’d met once we were best friends so went up and gave him a big hug lol big up Luke 83. Who was your first kiss with?- this guy who was in my class at school and I had the BIGGEST crush on him and omg felt so lucky when he kissed me but now he’s just a massive chav and probably has multiple children to several women so good job Eden you really know how to pick em 84. Why did your last relationship fail?- cause I don’t think we really even liked each other, we had nothing in common and it was the most half arsed thing from beginning to end 85. Would you ever date someone off of the internet?- yeah as long as I could meet up with them irl