#chanty gets tagged

[blackrevell]

OC Questions

Received a message from @olath124 with quite a few questions chosen for Alt. Tagging my enabler colleague Le @ouroboros-hideout too. Behold the wall!

11. What are small things that make them happy?

Kept promises. Job done well. Working with high quality tools and parts, when it comes to mechanics: bolts tightening up as they should, details clicking together perfectly, seams aligning well, and so on. Last, but not least — delicious baked goods and good new music discovered by accident. she would mention Kurt here, but he is not really small

21. When they’re sick, would they want others to visit them, or they would rather prefer not to be seen at not their best?

Depends on how sick she is. As long as she can get up & work, she pretends she is fine and doesn't need any help. Which naturally leads to the moment when things do get bad enough that she needs someone to check up on her. The good thing is, she'd probably sleep it all off and her friend or partner wouldn't suffer any whining either.

28. What is something that they will never be able to forgive?

She can forgive many things if she understands the reasons behind them and finds them valid. Yet she doesn't forget. The one thing that she neither forgives nor forgets — cheating, in business and personal relationships. Alt values people being direct and honest (especially if it's blunt honesty). She always makes it clear to others as well. In her mind, cheating is someone's conscious choice to use her out of purely opportunistic motives, while thinking she is either too stupid to figure it out or not valuable enough to keep things crystal clear. A sure way to make her cut you out of her life (probably cut you out of your own life too).

37. How would they spend a lazy day when they have nothing specific to do?

Boredom is her worst enemy, so it's hard to imagine her having a day being idle. Everyone she's been in a relationship with complained that she can't let herself rest, but as the time went on, each of those built up her actual confidence and softened her up. She becomes gentler with herself too. "Lazy" movie nights, night drives, chatty walks around the city with snacks in hand, an evening for card games or a set of pool. If everyone else's busy, she will likely brainrot with a book on engineering and mechanics. The mind needs to stay sharp.

44/45. On a party, where would you find them? For an event, would they dress like they typically do, or go all out?

Chances are, you wouldn't find her at a party at all! She is much more comfortable having fun in a small group of people or one-on-one. If dragged into a party nonetheless, would dress casually, unless there's a strict dress code. Another thing is, the Black Sapphire kind of party: Alt perceives it solely as a time to gather information and find potential opportunities for business. She mingles around, trying to keep her distaste for all the phony egos hidden, but essentially it feels more like work than fun. The only entertaining part of it for her is to make bets with Kurt on what kind of drama breaks that evening, who makes a scandalous scene again and how much alcohol a new corpo face from NC will need to start throwing money around. For these occasions, she will dress to impress — she knows well that appearance is one of the important tools in public games.

53. Do they like to sing and how confident they are with their singing?

Alt is confident in her singing and has no shame about it. Not that she is naturally gifted or had vocal practice, no. Yet she is expressive, and her voice is no exception. If she wants to remind someone of the tune of some song, she will do it quite well. If she is out with friends, and they're all hyped by a track, she will sing along. Teasing someone with a few chanty salty lines — just wait for it.

58. In the situation where they had to choose, would they rather stay loyal to their morals or to people they love?

Young Alt held onto her morals until the very end, but as she matured that rigidity lost its strength. Eventually, life shaped her into someone for whom (most of the time) the goal justifies the means, yet the choice of that goal is preceded by scrupulous analysis. She will commit a crime or step over herself in one way or another if the result is, pragmatically, worth it. The only exception is her relationship with Kurt — she crossed many of her own red lines for something that could easily go extremely wrong, while being motivated by her emotions and feelings. She knows that and will openly admit her hypocrisy in that regard if asked about it. Don't expect her to feel shame about it, though; she calls her infatuation with Kurt "the best decision [she] didn't actually make".

[vampirephlebotomy]

!!

For every !! I receive, I'll introduce you to one OC

As a note: I talk about body horror and bugs in the body akin to Jane Prentiss in TMA in this. I also talk about a weird fuckin' church in relation to this. Please be advised!

Chanti Hourle is one of my ceruleanblood trolls! He's a famous Alternian horror actor in both movies and in the occasional theater production, and is a former contortionist in a circus troupe. He's still a part of the old circus he used to travel with, and goes out there for things like holidays and holy days. The (shortened) name of his church is the Church of the Holy Rot. One of Chanti's extra cerulean eyes is on his tongue, and it very much adds to his appeal as a horror actor.

He met his matesprit, Xorsii Colett, (who's a director) through auditions they were holding for a horror film they were working on. Chanti's niche is clown horror and historical horrors on Alternia, and Xorsii was working on something a little more historical for their next film. Chanti is sort of how Xorsii's films (and the movies of the other directors in the studio they're a part of) started to get more traction because he's such a big name actor.

Later on in their lives, Chanti and Xorsii end up returning to Chanti's church to dodge conscription. Chanti, for a very long time, has known his church wanted him to become a replacement home for the lusii that live in what he eventually learns is Xorsii's ancestor. They view his lusus, a spider that reproduces much like the story "Spider Bite" from Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, as a sign he is destined to become their new idol to worship. Xorsii's Ancestor is alive, in a sense, but her body has long since been taken over by the bugs that she and the rest of the church view as holy. He goes on to take her place, and Xorsii helps take care of him and stays by his side despite his distaste for the church and his ancestor.

As usual, I stuck his profile under the cut!

Name: Chanti Hourle (how-earl)

Pronouns: he/him

Bloodcaste: cerulean§true [#003F84]

Troll tag: opalescentCarnivore

Sign: Scoro [Derse/Heart]

Ancestors Title: Awakener Darkhell

Occupation: A very popular horror actor in both cinema and musical theatre

Strife specibus: Canekind + Parasolkind

Fetch modus: Weaver

Hive: A cozy little cabin, hidden in the woods

Lusus: Tunnelweaver

Descendants:

Lyonet Hourle

Quadrants:

Flush with Xorsii Colett

Pale with Avasaz Fetert

Interests: Lace making, Acting and singing, Sewing/Weaving/Knitting, Collecting old jewelry (specifically church-related items), Studying the church and its art, Antique and painting restoration

Quirk: Uses all sorts of scary and horror related puns, like "care" being turned into "scare", or "right" becoming "fright." Otherwise, he uses very proper grammar and syntax, including to abstain from using any form of contractions or shorthand.

(Would-be) Classpect: Muse of Heart

Three Bulletpoints:

• Welcome to the shitshow, shitlord

• He wishes it wasn't showbiz, baby

• Is free will really a thing, Archivist?

[chalantness]

Tagged by @40minutehacker!

List 7 comfort movies and then tag 7 others.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Black Panther

The Lion King

The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

Crazy Rich Asians

Frozen 2

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before

Tagging: @moonguks @natrogersfics @gomustanggirl16 @xo-stardust720 @drunkromanogers @batfamskitty @sassaspazz

[communistkenobi-archive]

lmao are they really playing Vader’s theme whenever anakin gets mad

[xo-stardust720]

Got tagged by @chalantness!

a-age: 30

b-birthplace: Calgary

c-current time: 11:30am

d-drink you last had: regular black coffee

e-easiest person to talk to: my best friend

f-favorite song: currently: “She’s with Me” by High Valley, I listen to pretty much anything though

g-grossest memory: getting sunburned, then watching my skin flake off for a couple of weeks and finding the dead skin on my bedsheets

h-horror yes or horror no: noooooo way

i-in love? yes, with Chris Evans. If I ever find someone half as perfect as him, sign me up!

j-jealous of people?: Nah, I don’t think I care enough.

k-Kangaroo? Sure! Totally wanna pet one at the zoo in Australia

l-love at first sight or should I walk by again?: Love at first sight. I have good instincts about people. I can usually tell right away if we’re gonna get along or not.

m-middle name: I don’t have one!

n-number of siblings: one sister, I’m the oldest

o-one wish: to be able to travel the world

p-person you called last: my mom

q-question you are always asked: “where do you work? What do you do now?” Probably because I have two very different degrees that have nothing to do with one another, and my career of choice has nothing to do with either of my degrees.

r-reason to smile: Everything! Life is pretty good right now. Also, shoes.

s-song you last sang: publicly? Never. But in the privacy of my room? Backstreet Boys, always.

t-time you woke up: 5:30am, fell back asleep pretty quickly though

u-underwear color: hot pink

v-vacation destination: London, and Ireland. Mostly because I have an English degree and I’ve always wanted to visit the places I studied in books.

w-worst habit: biting my nails, and I’m pretty quick to judge based on first impressions (though, this isn’t always a bad thing, imo).

x-x-rays: recently got one to see whether or not my wisdom teeth needs to be taken out.

y-your favorite food: Sushi. I’m always up for any type of BBQ though.

z-zodiac sign: Cancer

Tagging: @mylifeisloki @faith2nyc @sleepygrimm  @heyfrenchfreudiana  @myloveiamthespeedofsound @roaminginspiration

[whatgaviiformes]

What do you think Scott's favourite sea shanty would be?

Ah, yes. Captain Blue Eyes quite enjoys the chanties that his brothers lead throughout the day. Gordon will usually start the day with a tune or two as their crew checks the lines and sails, while later in the evening Virgil will bring out his violin - and it's his bow that leads the crew into the revelry of foot stomps and on-beat clapping (depending on how much ale has been had that night).

Music is a big part of their life at sea, and Scott wouldn't have it any other way.

His favorite shanty goes by "Fish in the Sea" or sometimes "Windy Old Weather."

Youtube links below: here for Storm Weather Shanty Choir here for the Longest Johns here for Assassin's Creed

For the evenings, Scott loves the magic that erupts from Virgil's violin - though they play classical pieces together in the Captain's cabin (Scott plays the cello, while Virgil takes the melody -[think Master & Commander]) - there's nothing like the light of one of Virgil's jigs after a rough day at sea. Virgil has proven that he can play so fast that the crew's hands can't keep up with the beat, and it's a game he plays occasionally. Scott won't admit it, but Virgil's too fast for him too when he chooses to speed up the tunes like that.

Some Virgil violin vibes:

Sailor's Jacket - Jerry Bryant & Starboard Mess Katy Adelson - Swallowtail Jig & Morrison's Jig

As an aside - I think that TAG Scott would have Wellerman as his favorite - though reluctantly. It's a love/hate relationship because it's probably the only shanty he knows, and he probably only knows it because Gordon and Alan sing it to annoy him and it gets stuck in his head.

~~~~

(And then my usual disclaimer for all shanty/music related parts of the Thunderteers verse - as a reminder, many shanties were not written or recorded until much later than our story takes place - while verses we know now may make reference to later events and places, the melodies very well could have existed way before what's known - and lyrics were incredibly fluid. Also, am not an expert, just someone who likes research and tunes. Also yes, some of these are Irish)

More music where that came from - I have plenty of tunes that inspire the story.

[freddiesaysalright]

Just Like a Woman - Part 12

A Roger Taylor x Reader Story

Summary: You and Roger were once in love when you were young. Only, he went on to be a rock star, and you went on to be a lawyer. Now, quite against your will, you’re representing him in his divorce.

Word Count: 3.1k

Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @the-moving-finger-writes, @assembledherethevolunteers, @rose-writes-prose, @queenlover05, @26-7-49, @drowsebaby, @moon-stars-soul, @im-an-adult-ish, @ixchel-9275, @jennyggggrrr, @zyanmaik, @mypassionfortrash, @a19103, @madeinheavxn, @beepbeephardy, @rrogerchxrm, @qweenly, @blisshemmings, @seasidecrowbar, @internationalkpoplova, @ellystone, @takemetoneverland420, @coffeexcigarette, @lookuptotheskiesandsee, @thatpunkmaximoff, @angelkissys, @rocknroll-stolemyass, @simonedk, @anotheronewritesthedust1, @peterquillzblog, @mrfahrenhcit, @joseph-mozzerella, @theprettyandthereckless, @nixfreak, @johndeaconshands, @rogerandhiscar, @queenmaracasandlove, @sunflower-ben, @cubetriangle, @amy-brooklyn99, @scorpiogemini, @kiainspace, @itsabenthing, @bookandband, @makemeyourwife-loveofmylife, @grazessa, @borhapqueen92, @theonsasheart, @vektorivittu, @chanti-frn, @brianssixpence, @dancingcoolcat​, @xviiarez, @irepookie, @lnnuend0, @rogerxmeddows, @vici-xx, @bellas2silly​,@rogerrhqpsody If you’d like to be added for the epilogue, let me know!

A/N: THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER! However, there WILL be an epilogue, so it’s not quite over yet!

Warning(s): None!

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7 Part 8  Part 9  Part 10  Part 11

Part 12 here we go!!!

Two weeks passed. The sentencing was equally as satisfying as the trial. Sully was hit with ten years in prison, but would not be eligible for parole until after serving at least five. You were sure they would appeal, but for now, he was going to be off the streets and Dominique had secured her justice. It made your entire career in law up until this point worth it. 

After the sentencing, Bill called you into his office. You were nervous about it because usually he didn’t have private meetings unless it was serious. You swallowed before walking in. 

“Y/N,” he greeted you. “Thanks for coming up. I know you’re busy.”

“No problem,” you replied. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you for handling this case,” he said. “You took it on with no experience. You also overcame your own hurt to take on Roger’s divorce. You’ve proven just how valuable you are to this firm these past months.”

You blinked, surprised by the flattery. 

“Well, I - um - thank you,” you said. “What’s brought this on?” 

“We’re growing as a firm,” he said. “And with John retiring, I’ve got to start thinking about his replacement.”

John was the other senior partner. He was Bill’s professor, and they began the firm together. Your stomach jolted. Was he saying what you thought he was saying?

He twirled his pen between his fingers and glanced down at a packet of papers on his desk. 

“This is a new contract for employment,” he said. “For you. To become a partner.”

“A senior partner?” you questioned. 

He smiled. “Just partner for now. But that is the track I see for you.”

You almost squirmed in your seat with joy. To become a partner was a dream of yours. To be on track for senior partner was even more pleasing to hear. 

“What do you say?” he asked. “We’re a good team. You deserve to help me run this place, especially after what you’ve recently accomplished.”

A smile spread across your face. 

“I say hell yes,” you told him, beaming.  

“Wonderful,” he replied. “If you read the contract, you’ll see your salary increase.”

You reached out and picked up the packet. You scanned the first page until you found the number. Your stomach did a flip at the offer and your eyes went wide. 

“What?!” 

He smirked. “That’s just a little less than I make. I thought that was fair considering how great an attorney you are.”

“That’s a lot of money!” 

“Nothing that you don’t deserve.”

You put the papers in your lap and looked at him with your mouth hanging open. 

“This is incredible, Bill,” you said earnestly. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” he returned. “I’m looking forward to this.” 

Feeling completely elated, you signed the papers. Afterward, you called Roger to tell him the good news. 

“A partner?!” he gasped. “Y/N, that’s amazing! Congratulations!”

“Thank you, sweetie!” you replied. “I just can’t believe it! I mean, Bill did so much of the work for Dominique’s case, and he guided me through all of it, so I was just really shocked! But I’m excited I can hardly stand it!”

“Tell you what, this calls for celebration,” he said. “How about I take you to a special lunch tomorrow and we can toast to your promotion?”

“I’d love that,” you told him. 

“Perfect,” he said. “I’ll see you tonight, love.”

“See you tonight.”

You hung up and giggled to yourself. You could barely contain your emotion. Everything was coming together, like Roger said. You were looking forward to your future with him, and your promising career as a partner. 

The next day, Jane came into your office first thing in the morning.

“Y/N, Miss -” she began, but Miss Thomas swept by her and marched into your office.

“Miss Thomas needs to see you,” Jane finished, shooting the woman an annoyed glare. 

“Yes, Jane, I can see that,” you sighed. “You may go.”

She nodded and closed the door. You looked at Miss Thomas. 

“Lucy, how can I help you?” you asked.  

“I need you to help my father with his wrongful termination suit,” she said, swinging her hair behind her shoulder. 

“Okay, what does he do?” you asked.

“He’s a primary school teacher,” she said.

“And why was he fired?” you wondered.

“Because he believes he’s Santa Claus,” she told you simply.

You blinked. “I - I’m sorry?” 

“He told the children that he’s Santa - which he believes - so the headmaster fired him,” she went on. “It’s completely unfair. What, just because he’s Santa means he doesn’t have a right to work?”

“You do know that he’s not really Santa Claus, right?” you asked slowly, shock still coming over you.

“There’s no way to prove that he isn’t, really,” she said with a shrug. “Whether he is or not isn’t for me to decide. The point is, he shouldn’t be fired for it.”

“When’s the court date?” you asked, ignoring the ridiculousness of it.

“Tomorrow,” she said. “Can you meet with him today?”

Your eyes went wide. “Tomorrow?! Why am I only just learning about this?!”

“He had another lawyer, but he was terrible so I fired him,” she answered. “You’re the best lawyer I know, so I came to you.” 

“I can meet with him today, but it’ll have to be over lunch,” you said with a sigh. “I’m booked the rest of the day.” 

“Great, I’ll see you at noon,” she chirped. 

She stood up, turned on her heel and sauntered out of your office. You heaved another sigh. You had so been looking forward to your lunch with Roger, but now you were going to have to call and cancel. But as you picked up the phone, you heard the now familiar laugh of the little boy. You whipped around and spotted him crawling beneath the window behind your desk. 

“What are you doing down there?” you wondered, smiling at him. 

You had seen him at least once a day for the past two weeks. You told only Roger, who insisted you see a psychiatrist. Or maybe even a neurologist. You refused because going to the doctor was your absolute least favorite thing to do and you were certain the visions would stop. Only, they weren’t. You were beginning to consider Roger’s idea. Especially now that you were talking to him. 

He only giggled before disappearing as he always did. You shook your head, amused. Then you dialed Roger. The phone rang, and as it did, you got an idea. 

“Hello?” Roger’s voice came through on the other end.

“Rog?”

“Yes, love?”

“Could you meet me at my office for lunch today instead of the restaurant?” you requested. “I’m meeting a last minute client and I could use your help.”

“Really?” he questioned. “Sounds odd. And what about our celebration?”

“It’s Miss Thomas’s father,” you told him. “Can we celebrate tonight instead?”

“I can’t imagine what he’s like,” he said with a chuckle. “Of course we can celebrate tonight. I’ll change the reservation.

“Thank you so much,” you replied. “Get here around noon, yeah?”

“I’ll be there.”

“Love you!”

“Love you more.”

You hung up, humming contentedly. 

He made good on his promise. In fact, Roger arrived before Miss Thomas and her father. You explained to Roger what she had told you that morning, but didn’t tell him the vital question you were going to ask. 

Miss Thomas entered your office, accompanied by the kindest looking elderly man you had ever seen in your life. You wondered how he could have fathered someone like her. He was round, with cherry red cheeks, and a jolly smile. He wore a black peacoat, but you could see the red trousers beneath it. On his feet were black boots. Atop his silvery white mane of hair, he wore a red Santa hat. As he made his way through the office, he wished everyone a happy Christmas. Until finally, he was at your door. 

“Mr. Claus,” you said respectfully. “Thank you for taking time to see me today.”

“Thank you, Y/N,” he replied. “This whole business is really throwing off my schedule. And this is a very busy time of year for me.”

“I imagine so,” you returned. “Please, have a seat.”

“Thank you,” he said kindly, and he sat in a chair across from your desk. 

“Tell me a little bit about your case,” you said. 

“Well, for most of the year, I teach primary school,” he explained. “But of course, the closer the holidays get, the busier I get. So, I told the children this and why I was so busy, and then some parents got upset and the next thing I knew, I was fired.”

“I’m sorry,” you told him. “Well, we’re going to try and get you your job back, sir. Only, we have to prove that what you’re saying isn’t proof of diminished capacity, which is what the headmaster is claiming.”

“I don’t understand all these legal terms,” he said with a shrug. “I just know that after delivering the presents this year, I won’t have the usual children to look forward to.”

“Mr. Claus, have you ever seen this man before?” you asked, pointing to Roger. 

Mr. Thomas laughed heartily. “Well, of course I have! But not since he was a boy! How are you, Roger?”

“Um...fine?” 

Roger raised a concerned eyebrow at you. He clearly had never actually met this man in his life.

“Mr. Claus, do you know Mr. Taylor from his band, Queen?” you asked. 

Mr. Thomas shook his head. “I’m afraid not. Roger stopped writing to me when he was ten, and of course with all the new children, we lost touch.”

“Mr. Claus, how many children does Roger have?” you asked. 

“Why, he’s got two!” Mr. Thomas said excitedly. “Little Felix and baby Rory. Both very good children who will be getting sweets in their stockings this year!”

Roger’s eyes went wide as an owl’s. He looked over at you again. 

“I’ve never shared my children’s names publicly,” he said. “Ever.”

“And of course, there’ll be another next year, though he hasn’t got a name yet,” Mr. Thomas added with a twinkle in his eye. 

You froze as you absorbed those words. 

“I...I’m sorry, what?” you squeaked with shock. 

Miss Thomas looked at you like you were an idiot. 

“You’re pregnant, Y/N, didn’t you know?” she snapped. 

“How could I possibly know, I haven’t even missed a period!” you protested. 

You looked desperately at Roger. The color had drained from his face. You gaped at each other, in complete disbelief. 

“You’ve seen him, haven’t you?” Mr. Thomas said. “Your son?”

“M-my son?” you sputtered. 

Was that the little boy you were seeing? Was that why he resembled Roger with that little piece of you? 

Mr. Thomas’s eyes sparkled again as he winked at you. 

“I...I have been seeing a boy, but I didn’t…” you trailed off, brain muddled with everything you were experiencing.

“He’s trying to get your attention, Y/N,” Mr. Thomas said. “Have you spoken to him?”

“I’ve tried, but he always disappears,” you admitted, unsure what made you comfortable enough to say it. 

“He’s telling you he’s on the way,” he continued. “You ought to schedule an appointment with your doctor.”

You still couldn’t quite believe what was happening. You had no anticipated Mr. Thomas knowing about Roger’s children, much less the one that might exist in the future. And yet, to think that you might be carrying Roger’s son made you happier than you could recall feeling in years. 

“Mr. Thomas, I will take your case,” you finally said. 

“Hold on, this must be a trick,” Roger interjected. “I’m famous, he could have known -”

“Not if you’ve never shared their names,” you cut across him. 

“What if he’s a journalist who could somehow gain access to -”

“Roger, he’s a schoolteacher,” you interrupted again. Then you looked at Mr. Thomas. “And so much more.”

You smiled at him, which he returned. Roger was still struggling.

“This is crazy,” he said. “It’s absolutely mad.”

“There’s only one way to be sure,” you said.

You had Jane schedule you a doctor’s appointment that afternoon. An at-home pregnancy test would not do for this occasion. Roger insisted on coming with you, so before you knew it, you were sitting on an exam table, swinging your legs with anxiety. Roger was pacing in front of you. The results of this would mean Mr. Thomas was telling the truth, but it meant even more for you and Roger.

“Rog, if we are pregnant,” you began with a sigh. “What...what would you like to do about it?”

He looked at you and his brow furrowed. “How do you mean?”

Tears started to well up in your eyes. “I mean, would you want to keep it, or…?”

“Oh, my love,” he said gently, striding over to pull you into a hug. “Of course I want to keep it. It’s our child.”

“I know, but we’ve only just got back together, and we aren’t married,” you went on.

“Would you like to be?” he asked.

You blinked. “What?”

“Married,” he said. “Do you want to get married?”

“Is this a proposal?” you returned.

“It might be,” he replied. 

You frowned. “Roger, I don’t want to get married just because there might be a child. I want you to marry me only if you really want to marry me. And if you are going to propose, it can’t be in a bloody doctor’s office.”

He chuckled. “Don’t get upset, it was just a way to start the discussion.”

A beat passed and he became serious again.

“Y/N, I want to marry you because I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone,” he said. “The only thing more foolish than getting married would be not getting married because we have wasted so much time already.”

Your mouth began to fall open as you looked at him.

“And no, this isn’t an official proposal,” he said. “I know the one you’ve always dreamed of. But this is where my heart is and I want you to know - I’d marry you right this fucking second, baby or no baby.”

“Rog, I -” you began, but then the doctor walked in. 

“Well, Miss Y/L/N, it looks like you are pregnant,” she said. 

The words washed over you. Pregnant. With Roger’s baby. The dream you had always wanted since before you even knew who you were. 

“I...I am?” you asked. “Are you sure?”

She chuckled and then turned the paper in her hand to show you. 

“I’m sure,” she said. “How did you know if you hadn’t missed a period?”

You looked between her and Roger, scrambling for an answer. 

“Father Christmas told us,” he said simply.

She blinked and looked at him like she hadn’t heard him right. “Father...Christmas?”

He nodded. “Father Christmas.”

“Well, I can’t exactly argue with that, can I?” she teased, smiling again. “So, we should start you on a few things to keep you and your baby healthy…”

She went on, and you tried to pay attention, but the only thing you could think of was the life you now knew existed within you. You looked down at your stomach, thinking of how it would look in nine months. You were having a baby. With the man of your dreams. You looked up at Roger, who was listening intently to the doctor. You were so grateful that you had found him again, you felt your eyes get warm with tears.

“Y/N?” the doctor said, looking at you with concern. “Are you alright?”

You nodded and swallowed the lump in your throat.

“Yeah, um, could we just have a minute?” you choked out.

“Of course,” she agreed. “Just call me if you need anything.”

She stepped out of the room and you looked at Roger through your tears. A shaky smile formed across your lips as you met his gaze.

“We’re having a baby!” you sobbed.

You slid off the exam table and threw yourself into his arms. He laughed as he caught you. Giving you a squeeze, he closed his eyes to the feeling of you against him. This was everything he had ever wanted as well. To be with you. To have children with you. To love you for the rest of his life.

“I love you so much,” he said, choking up himself. “I’m so happy.”

“Me too,” you returned. “Happy Christmas, Roger.”

“Happy Christmas, Y/N.”

You went to dinner that night as planned, only without the champagne. While you were originally intending to celebrate your promotion to partner, you were thrilled to celebrate a more important promotion - to mother. You felt this was the one that would change you the most, and you couldn’t wait to see how.

As you and Roger walked back to your flat, you passed some carolers. Among them stood the little boy. He had a mischievous grin on his face that made you look at his father and smile. The boy looked at you and waved before running off and slowly fading out. The wave didn’t feel like a goodbye. It felt more like “see you soon.” 

You were dragged to a stop because Roger had halted on the sidewalk.

“Rog?” you asked. “What is it?”

His eyes were fixed on the spot the boy had just disappeared from.

“Was that him?” he wondered, looking at you.

“You saw him?!” you cried.

“I did!” he returned excitedly. “He just waved and ran off! Was that him?!”

“Yeah!” you told him. “That was the boy!”

You took a giddy moment together and clasped hands.

“I’ve got the feeling we won’t be seeing him again,” you said. “Until, y’know, he’s actually here.”

“This feels so surreal,” he replied. “I can’t believe we’ve seen him.”

“It does all seem to be so magical,” you agreed. “But I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy. I know you’ve done this already, so -”

He cut you off with a sweet kiss.

“Y/N, no matter how many times I’ve done this, the thrill of being a father again doesn’t get old,” he said. “And to have a baby with you….well, you’re all I’ve ever wanted. I am just as excited now as I was with Felix. Maybe even more so.”

You beamed at him.

“I love you, Roger Taylor,” you said. 

“I love you more, Y/N Y/L/N,” he returned.

You kissed there in the street, caring nothing for the busyness around you. All that mattered was the man in your arms, the baby in your belly, and the future before all three of you.

[corrodedcoffn]

twenty questions

tagged by @sergeantbuckybarnes and @steverrogers thank youuu 💕 and sorry for taking so long

1: what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

chantal, chanty and my south american friends call me shant so i'm cool with it

2: when is your birthday?

July 4

3: where do you live?

I live in Tamaulipas, México

4: three things you are doing right now?

sitting in my bed listening to music and answering these questions haha

5: four fandoms that have peaked your interest?

Glee, 1D, marvel and BoRhap (from the bohemian rhapsody movie lol)

6: how has the pandemic been treating you?

what can i say, among other things it messed with my mental health big time and covid took my grandma so i think you have an idea of what a rollercoaster ride it's been

7: a song you can’t stop listening to right now?

i don't have one specifically but i've been listening to the mandalorian score a lot

8: recommend a movie.

Gone Girl, great rom-com 🤭

9: how old are you?

26

10: school, university, occupation, other?

okay here's the thing, i have different majors (cosmetologist, ESL teacher and i have a diploma in culinary arts) but i don't work on one specifically because i haven't been able to get a job so, sometimes i do hairdressing jobs and on occasions i do make up for my aunt's clients bc she recently started her photography business

11: do you prefer heat or cold?

cold. i hate heat with a passion lol

12: name one fact others may not know about you.

I can't think of anything right now

13: are you shy?

Yes and I used to be more shy when I was younger

14: preferred pronouns?

she/her

15: biggest pet peeves?

People who complain too much

16: what is your favorite “dere” type?

i don't know what's that

17: rate your life from 1-10.

um idk a 6 maybe

18: what’s your main blog?

this one

19: list your side blogs and what they’re used for.

I one sideblog but it's nsfw so I'm not sure I should mention it lol

20: Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

That I'm not good at keeping the conversation going so please be patient

tagging: @buckyshappyending @stckie @80scavill @romaniansweetheart @viking-raider (it's okay if you don't wanna do it)

[frogocado]

prince!damien au kingdom headcanons (2/?)

I had made little hints towards characters beyond Damien and Shayne in chapter two and thought this handy lil’ guide might help you and me with inspiration see each character in the world.

tag list: @latenlghtdevil, @star-mum

Wesley Johnson is the head healer for the Haas Royal Family and has taken care of the prince since he was first born. He is calculated, unsociable, and intelligent. He is one of the King’s oldest and dearest friends, having first met him at nineteen when he was wounded in his uncle’s military raid. Seeing potential in the man, the King hired Wes to run the apothecary and train new healers during his reign. While he is thankful for his job and his friend, Wes also works on projects he knows are less than agreeable.

· Matt Raub runs the iron and ore shop in the main town of the kingdom. He is gruff, menacing, and a perfectionist. He constructs every piece of armor for the guards and often makes his apprentices cry at least twice a day. Think if Gordon Ramsey made offspring with a black bear. He has place an apprentice’s head on the anvil and yelled, “what are you?” at them while Apprentice Grossman tearfully replied, “an idiot smithy,” after he had nearly set the stables next to the smithy alight.

David Moss aka Lasercorn is the bartender of the Lion and is mischievous, stand-offish, and powerdriven. He began his management of the Lion after the previous owner and founder of the establishment disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Moss and the owner had bad history and he was of course, the first suspect. But, he had a motive and after an investigation (since there isn’t any technology for fingerprint analysis, it was mostly just questioning the townsfolk about who they thought had done it. Moss has heard his staff whispering the nickname about him (Lasercorn) and pretends to hate it, but it makes him feel powerful and important.

Courtney Miller is a bar maiden that works in Moss’s pub. She is cheerful, good-humored, and a dreamer. She had been the one that convinced Lasercorn that Y/N was good to bet on, both in terms of waitressing and as a minstrel. Courtney had actually been your biggest supporter before you had even thought about speaking to Lasercorn about performances. After hearing you one afternoon when she had been prepping for the evening and you were singing a song to yourself in your room above the pub. The small, slatted window in your bedroom was open and your voice had drifted through the humid, spring air and caught Courtney’s attention so quickly she had raced to the top of the stairs and knocked hard before you had even finished the third voice of your chanty. When the door opened, her hands were clasped over her chest, her eyes wet with tears, as she asked you to sing more tales of the sea.

Joshua Ovenshire is the master gardener for the royal grounds and grew up with Wes and King Haas. He is proud, goofy, and thoughtful. His father, Joshua Over-Ovenshire had been head of the cleaning staff when the King was then the prince, along with Damien’s late-uncle. Josh would often wander the labyrinth at the edge of the property (which, at the time, was just mowed grass and hedges that came up to his knees) while the King memorized passages of poetry while swinging off of the garden wall. The labyrinth, which now stands fifteen feet tall and spans four acres of the grounds, is his most prized work. Prince Damien has always wandered them ever since he could hold himself on two feet and run from authority. For his fifteenth birthday, Josh gifted Damien with hidden nooks inside of the hedged walls, thinking it might curb his escape attempts. (One of the nooks included a magic kit to drive his own joke further, which was lost to Damien, who would have much preferred a small stage so he could practice poetry or singing.

Mari Takahashi was originally hired to be a part of the kitchen staff, but after arguing with the head chef about what kind of rice really pairs best with crab or other shellfish, she instead became Wes’s apprentice. She is fierce, stubborn, and intelligent. She and Wes barely get along, but he’s also the only person in the entire castle that finds her talent for getting into fights hilarious, as he laughs every single time her voice drops into a gas-fueled flame. Two weeks into her apprenticeship, she realized that she had actually been brought on to pick fights about prices with the merchants that passed through town every other week. While she smashed bottles or threatened to set tents on fire, Wes would borrow ingredients or seedlings for his green house with quick, light fingers.

Olivia Sui is the stable’s keeper for the town (and shrieked like a banshee the day Smith Apprentice Grossman had nearly set all of her horses on fire by sparking their hay). She is brave, eccentric, and rebellious. Having served in the war her sick father could not, Olivia was hired to be a guardsman upon her return from afar. After discovering she was a woman, the city guard had her fired and jailed. The Queen, who attended village trials once every three months or whenever her husband has been most insufferable, was intrigued by Olivia’s story and fierceness. She gave Olivia a pardon in exchange for her loyalty to the kingdom. Her stables were designed by the Queen and Smithy Raub and were built directly across from the city guard’s headquarters.

[enby-hawke]

Summary:

For Lucky Hawke, becoming Champion did not mean consequences from hiding his apostacy from the Chantry. 3 years later, he’s gained his freedom, with stringent conditions. 

Hawke is pissed off and decides to test his luck and gets drunk and parties at in his usual Hangout, The Hanged Man. Templars are alerted and Cullen and he get into an argument about him leaving. Cullen is being nice. Hawke is being an asshole.

Ship: Hawke/Merrill, mentions of past Fenhawke and Hawkbela. 

Words: 7,696

Tags: 

drinking tw, anti-templar sentiments, anti-chanty sentiments, anti-cullen sentiments from Hawke, huge spoiler warning for plot, Modern Thedas, lucky getting in trouble with the chantry again

“Sluuuuuuuurrrrrrrp, slrpp, slrrrrrp, slrrrp,” Hawke and Cullen maintained a death stare, neither one blinking. A crowd was gathering at Hawke’s usual drinking table at the Hanged Man, some recording on their phone as Knight-Captain’s Cullen’s face got redder and redder. An obnoxious, “slrrrp” erupted from Hawke’s Coffee Star extra-large extra-foam double whip mocha caramel smores iced coffee anytime the templar tried to speak and it fell silent as soon as the man stopped speaking. And began when he attempted to speak once more.

“Curfew is-”

“Slrrrrrrrrrrp!” And then Hawke would sigh when he was done looking like he was finished. He had his arm around Merrill who was red as a beet and would grow redder and redder each time he slurped, her elven ears as low as they could go. Her meadow green eyes were giant saucers under all the stares and the cameras that always seemed to follow Hawke.

“Vhenan,” Merrill whispered angrily, shaking him.

“Sorry, it’s just a really good coffee,” He smiled at her as if he was not antagonizing the second-highest ranking templar in all of Kirkwall. He was a little drunk and very pissed off, especially since it was Cullen who decided to answer this call. Fenris and Varric, also drunk, were snickering while Sebastian stared into his water not saying anything.

Cullen grunted. “Really-”

“Slrrrrrrrrrrp,” Hawke made a face of pure bliss. “Mmmm they must have improved upon the formula while I’ve been gone. I can’t stop.”

“Lucky, this isn’t funny,” she shook him a second time. “They could take you back to the Circle! Stop acting like such a child.” He looked over and saw her eyes pricking in worried tears. For a second Hawke thought maybe he did take it too far. Shoulders slumped he looked like a whipped puppy and looked away. “I guess I can take the party back to my place. It’s cleaner. I’ve got better drinks and the floors aren’t sticky.”

Varric whistled. “Mark the day Broody. On the 3rd of Bloomingtide, Daisy made Hawke regret being a total dick.”

Hawke grinned moving to punch Varric but the dwarf pushed aside his fist.

“Actually if you have liquor in your home that’s a violation of your-”

But then Hawke was back to slurping, angrily glaring, trying to drown out Cullen’s irritating voice.

Cullen was shouting now, and pushing his way forward so his nose was almost touching Hawke’s, his tight blond curls falling in his knitted eyebrows, “and if you’re in violation of your probation and I’m going to need to escort you to your mansion to confiscate any illegal contraband and-”

Hawke leaned forward, making Cullen take a step back, still slurping. The flash of cameras and the sound of Cullen’s voice growing louder and louder until-

“ENOUGH!”

Aveline, who told Hawke she was at an important meeting that night, pushed herself between Hawke and the Knight-Captain and she shook Hawke and slapped him.

He turned back to the table where everyone was avoiding his gaze except for Sebastian. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t know who else to call.”

“Fuck you, Choir Boy!” Hawke almost pounced but Aveline stopped him and pushed him away.

“Don’t get angry cause you don’t have sense,” Aveline growled. “What is wrong with you?”

Hawke rubbed his cheek and considered slurping in response, but he knew that was a sure-fire way to get him knocked on his ass. It’s happened before. “I just want to have a drink with my friends like old times.” That was it.

“Wake up, idiot! You’re on probation. You’re lucky, Lucky, that Orsino released you at all. You know Meredith’s looking for a reason to throw you back in but do you listen to reason? Can you see past that arrogant ass you call your head? You have people that care about you and you seem intent on sabotaging anything good in your life. What do you have to lose for you to see that?”

He didn’t know what to say so he looked at the floor as an awkward silence filled the tavern. “I’m sorry, Aveline.”

“Thank you, Guard Captain, for talking some sense into the Champion,” Cullen said running his gauntlet through his hair. Hawke wished he could slurp his coffee.

“That’s not all I’m doing. Turn around,” Aveline ordered.

“What?” Hawke didn’t understand at first but saw she was bringing out her cuffs.

Hawke was furious. “You’re arresting me?”

“Yes, I am Champion. You are 4 hours past curfew. Turn around!” Her voice spoke of finality.

Hawke’s cheeks were burning and at first, he just glared at her. He considered taking Merrill’s hand and locking himself and her in his mansion, never to come out again. But he knew no way would end well.

“Do not make me force you into these handcuffs. I am done coddling you.”

“But you’ll protect him right, Aveline?” Merrill sniffed. Hawke looked back and immediately regretted it. Varric and Sebastian were on either side of Merrill comforting her as fat tears rolled down her cheeks, her soiled handkerchief clutched in her hands.

“Always,” Aveline said softly, her anger fading. “This is to protect him.”

Hawke defeated, set down his coffee and offered his wrists to her. Now he wished he could take the whole thing back but it was he knew it was too late for that.

She accepted this, forcefully and efficiently cuffing him. “If you cared about Merrill, you’d stop doing this to her.”

The cameras and reporters followed the Guard-Captain’s patrol car from the Hanged Man to the Kirkwall Barracks. Aveline opened the door for Hawke from the back of her cruiser, and as soon as he stepped out, the two of them were swarmed.

“Champion, is the Guard Captain taking you back to the Circle?”

“Guard Captain Aveline are you arresting the Champion because you agree with the Knight Commander?”

“Hawke do you plan do lead protests on the Knight-Commander’s new curfew policy.”

Both Aveline and Hawke knew better than to say anything more than “no comment” until they were completely out of the mess. Hawke was getting used to being blinded by flashing lights every time he stepped out in public now, though that did nothing to alleviate his anxiety. Every time a camera flash Hawke would flinch, wondering if an attack was coming. He was sweating through his shirt, grateful that Aveline was there to guide him through the crowd.

A row of Aveline’s guards formed a wall around the Barracks forming a barricade for the reporters. They parted for Aveline and Hawke and closed ranks as soon as they were through. “What a mess you made,” Aveline growled, squeezing Hawke’s arm.

He was escorted to the barracks in silence but he could tell she was fuming. She uncuffed him in a small cold cell with a metal frame for a bed. She didn’t leave though. He could tell that she wanted to say something. A proper apology?

So he started. “So…I fucked up.”

“You think?” Aveline crossed her arms. “But do you actually feel bad or do you feel bad it didn’t go your way?”

“I am trying to say I’m sorry.”

“And I need you to stop apologizing and think things through for once.”

“You’re just full of wonderful insights tonight,” Hawke rolled his eyes.

“And you never know when to quit,” but there wasn’t any anger in her voice. She did sound worried which made him more pissed off for some reason. “I think you need help, Hawke. Professional help. If Leandra saw what I did tonight, I think she’d be crying alongside Merrill.”

Fury hit him and he almost swung. “Enough! You made your point!” The mention of his Mother erupted a pain he wasn’t ready to face and he knew if he kept having this conversation it would turn into more than an argument.

“Then are you ready to act like an adult, now?” she narrowed her eyes.

Hawke threw himself on the bed facing away from her so he wouldn’t have to look at her anymore.

He could hear her sigh, and after a few moments of silence, she said, “I shouldn’t have to remind you what’s at stake.” She closed his cell door and the electronic lock beeped before sliding into place.

He spent the night in a cold cell with a sheet and 4 bare concrete walls a steel door and a toilet. Aveline had either completely isolated his cell or there wasn’t anyone else committing petty crimes in Kirkwall tonight. Completely isolated, he tried his best to get as comfy as he could and fell asleep.

In the Fade, he traveled to Merrill’s apartment, thinking that’s where she would stay tonight and he was right. She was nestled in an uneasy dream. He was back in the Circle, she was crying herself into a Hawke’s pillow, Boof’s head whining alongside her in her lap. He’d done it again. He’d made her cry.

He stepped into the dream and woke her up. The reality of the dream melted away until they were just in her room again, the eluvian reflecting in the corner of Merrill’s night lights. The tears continued to run her down the vallaslin on her cheeks. “I knew you’d come.”

“Always,” he said and reached for her.

She didn’t reach back and instead put her face in her hands and sobbed. “Why did you do that?”

That was a question he didn’t have an answer for. Not a good one anyway. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you alone, again. I’m an idiot.”

“No,” she said angrily and raised her head, glaring. “You’re the smartest man I know and that’s why you should know better. They’re trying to get you now. Don’t you see that? They’re making it personal now!”

She collapsed back into her knees curled into herself as she short ragged sobs escaped from her throat. Hawke sat beside her, not knowing if she wanted to be touched but she leaned into his chest. That gave Hawke the permission he needed to wrap himself around her.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Hawke admitted. She was trembling, tears hit his chest and for a moment he just held her trying to make sense of what was now his life. Before he knew it, he felt a tear fall off his chin and when he wiped his eyes they came back wet. Crap. Was he was crying now, too?

He cleared his throat, hoping Merrill had not noticed, and squeezed out the rest of his tears before they could swallow him, but the same dark thoughts kept plaguing his mind. He always was a loose cannon. His mouth always seemed to run away from him no matter how he tried to wrestle it. He was always impulsive, always blowing up, always paying for consequences he could have avoided if he just. Shut. Up. He didn’t know how long he spent in silence, replaying the night in his head when suddenly Merrill had pushed her way into his face, staring intensely.

“Talk to me,” Merrill pleaded. She cupped his cheeks and pulled his face close her eyes like a lush, cool meadow, The straight bridge of her nose pressed against his as she bore into him. “We can this figure this out if you talk to me.”

Hawke froze, averting her gaze. He couldn’t. The more she knew, the more she was in danger. She was already Dalish. He didn’t know if he could protect her from the Chantry and he wasn’t sure becoming Dalish again would exactly solve either of their problems if they wanted to stay together. That’s all he wanted. Aveline’s always made her feelings clear. Isabela and he hadn’t talked since she told him she was leaving Kirkwall. Things between him and Fenris were awkward and doomed. Anders and Bethany saw him as a monster. He’d already crossed lines between them ages ago. Even Varric seemed uneasy being connected with Hawke at times even though he’d never say that. Just Merrill. She understood without question why he made the choices he made. Their friendship was awkward but so precious to him. He always saw his friends as family, but Merrill was the only one who never questioned it. He liked the way she leaned on him and he didn’t realize all the ways she let him lean too. And he loved her, adored her, worshiped her. People wrote her off as ditzy but Hawke knew better. She was easily the smartest woman he’d ever met. His research to restore Bethany whole would not have gone so far if not for her help. And she had the kindest soul in the world. He wanted to protect her kind heart.

Why did it take him so long to realize she was the one?

When he finally was able to return her gaze, he knew exactly what he wanted and he grabbed her hands, folding them into his. “Marry me, Merrill,” he said breathlessly.

She pulled away from him, confused, and stopped crying. But when she registered what he had just said her face twisted in anger.

“No!” she cried out. “Wait that’s not my answer. Vhenan, what is wrong with you? This is not the most romantic moment.”

“I’m sorry I’m not good at those. When should I ask?”

“Don’t ask me? It’s supposed to be a surprise!” she pushed him but it was more playful than angry. He was happy he could still make her smile.

“I just need a time frame. Tomorrow? Next week? I just feel it’s kind of urgent cause I don’t know if I’m going back-”

“I’m not listening. I’m not listening and I don’t want to talk about that,” Merrill shut her eyes and Hawke shut his mouth quickly. Finally, when there was silence Merrill shook her head. “People call me dumb but that was the dumbest thing I ever saw. Why? Why did you do that?”

A momentary lapse in judgment? Could he claim madness? It seemed like only Anders knew the loss of control he felt when he was around templars especially when they tried to cow him into line. “I just wanted to stay.”

“You know the rules.”

Hawke gulped down. He had heard that maybe fifty times that night, but he could never bring himself to raise any lip to Merrill. She had a way of making him swallow his pride like he was a kid eating his broccoli. “You’re right.”

She blinked, surprised.

“If there’s anything clear to me tonight it’s that I’m an idiot so if you have any suggestions on how to make things right, I’ll listen.”

“To me…” she said uncertainly, pointing to herself.

“I’ll always listen to you,” he leaned over and kissed her forehead making her blush in the way that always made his heart flutter.

“Well…”she started to think, placing her finger on her chin and then turned to him, looking uncertain. “I think you should make a formal apology to Cullen.”

Oof. But Hawke nodded. “I’ll do it.”

“Really?” she said, leaning back surprised. “Then will you clear all the alcohol from your mansion? I’m scared they’ll use it against your case.”

Double oof. But Hawke nodded.

“Then we should listen to the curfew- at least until your probation is over.”

“Well after tonight they’ll probably extend it but, yeah. Yeah, that’s not a problem. Anything you say.”

Merrill smiled mischievously, putting her forehead on his. “Am I the only one that can keep Lucky Hawke in check-Oh, I don’t know if I can handle the responsibility.”

“I’ll try not to be too big a burden,” he teased and leaned into her lips, pressing against her. He wrapped his arms around her to cradle her, but waited, not sure how she would respond.

“Oh, come here,” she said in an annoyed tone and threw her arms around him, pulling him down on top of her.

Lovemaking in the Fade was always an ordeal. There was the threat of demons and curious spirits and they were constantly interrupted, but Hawke had to admit sometimes that made things hotter. After they attracted and defeated a desire demon they decided it was better to just talk. Merrill spent hours just updating him on what happened at work at the Coffee Star, how Orana and Bethany and Bodahn and Sandal were taking care of the mansion, how she was exploring ways to unlock the eluvian and just little stories about their friends that he was missing. She even mentioned Isabela, said she got a text, though the conversation they had was superficial.

The memories of Merrill’s soul merging with his and the memory of her pleasured moans soothed away all the anger he had felt the night before and when he opened his eyes, everything seemed brighter and more colorful. The frame of the metal bed was hard and he was sure he tweaked his back, but he was in a remarkably chipper mood. Merrill didn’t say yes to his proposal, but he knew she wanted to. Now was to just think of something romantic. Surely that wasn’t impossible. He was wondering what the Dalish customs were for courting when Aveline opened his cell. She could tell something was different.

“Good morning Guard Captain. You’re looking rather dashing in that outfit.” He jumped up, brushing himself off, his usual cock-sure grin spread across his face.

“It’s my uniform,” Aveline said warily, waiting for the butt of the joke.

“Well, it always looks fetching on you. So what news? Am I a wretched Circle prisoner again?”

“I don’t know,” she said crossing her arms. “You’re to go home and get dressed and prepare for court. Meredith has called an emergency hearing on your case.”

“She would,” Hawke nodded. This wasn’t good but he could handle that. It would just mean he’d have to think of something more immediate.

“Are you…ok?” she raised a concerned eyebrow.

“So how did Donnic propose again?” He strained to remember. There was something about a picnic and wine on the beach, and how the ring box fell out of his pocket and opened, ruining the surprise, but all the other details were escaping him.

“Is this really the time?” From Aveline’s expression, Hawke could tell she thought he was messing with her.

“Well if I learned anything from my time in the Circle is that it’s precious and shouldn’t be wasted. Every moment is precious, Aveline.” He breathed in the stale air, chemicals and stale blood and some bleach. He closed his eyes happily just grateful to be alive.

“You’re acting weird, Hawke. Should I be worried?”

“No,” he put his hand on her shoulder, grinning. “Just thank you for slapping some sense into me. You’re a true friend.”

Aveline looked utterly confused and she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Do I need to drug test you before we go?”

Hawke was feeling high, though to be fair, he had gone straight into denial, blissfully pushing the troubles of last night far from his mind. He was still free at this moment and he would stay free no matter what it took. He’d kiss Orsino’s ass, Meredith’s ass, even the Divine’s ass if it meant he could just spend the rest of his life with Merrill and if that didn’t work they’d flee. The only thing that mattered to him was keeping Merrill safe and it had felt like his world had just shifted. It was like the sun touching a clearing after a long rain, he could finally see his way forward.

He put his other hand on her shoulder, face completely serious and stared straight into her confused dark green eyes. “You are a beautiful, intelligent, remarkably fierce, and principled warrior and I’m grateful every day to have met you.” Then he pulled her close, hugging her. “Whatever happens, Aveline, I’m here for you.”

Aveline sniffed in sharply, more confused than ever, but awkwardly returned the hug. When Hawke pulled away he was beaming and she knitted her eyebrows together, worried. Finally, she sighed and led him out of his cell. “Let’s go see what damage you’ve done.”

Orana had already another pressed suit prepared when Hawke walked through the manor. Like always, she anticipated his needs before he even had to tell her. He promptly stuffed himself into and when he asked her to start gathering up all the alcohol in the house she wasn’t even phased. “Messere Hawke?” she confirmed with a nod, her blond hair fastened in the usual neat bun. After all these years she still refused to address him as just Hawke. Hell, he’d even take Lucky. She was practically family now, though perhaps he wasn’t doing enough to make her feel the same. “Should I prepare your Mother’s lumpia for the party?”

He considered it, one more wild night before he was dry for good- or until the Chantry was done crawling up his ass. “Actually, I was planning on giving it all to Varric, well for a fair price, but if you could just have Bodahn and Sandal go ahead and get that packed up before court is over, I’d appreciate it.” Hawke knew if it was still here when he got back he’d get thirsty. It was better he kept a clear head, anyways.

It was Orana’s turn to be confused and she widened her light green eyes but nodded. “I’ll inform Messere Feddic.”

He straightened his tie in the mirror, foregoing his usual cartoon prints for a more serious diagonal black and white stripes. He even had time for a haircut so he shaved up off most of it, but left a curly pile on top of his head, though he kept the streaks of pink.

He had gotten out of the habit of dismissing her, and she just stood there waiting while Hawke continued to pick over his appearance, nervously. Finally, when she realized he wasn’t going to she turned to leave. Suddenly he turned around and said, “Orana?”

“Yes?” she asked turning back and smiled sweetly.

“Are you…happy? I mean…is there anything you need to be happier?”

She smiled even sweeter. “I owe you everything, Messere. I wouldn’t dare ask for more.” He didn’t know what he expected.

Hawke hated the way she flinched around him, and he was careful with his temper. When he was upset, she was terrified. She never disagreed, never showing any sign of pain or discomfort and it made him feel like crawling out of his skin. Anytime he asked her opinion on anything she wouldn’t give it until he gave his, always agreeing with him. She was still afraid of him, still waiting for him to turn on her. He tried hard not to leave messes, to leave things out, but he was so very forgetful that by the time he remembered about them she was almost always already done tidying. The only room that she left untouched was the basement and his office which was the only place he left disasters.

He’d hired tutors to help her learn to read after learning from Fenris that slaves weren’t allowed to, and she often spent her hefty paycheck on books and movies. Her favorite were romantic comedies and sometimes Hawke would join her and Bodahn and Sandal. Since she never left the mansion, he got her into VR and videogames and she spent most of her free time exploring romantic surrealism worlds, or just mundane character simulations or shooting zombies, which she was not bad at. He often came home to find her on his flat-screen or plugged into the internet, sometimes cussing in Tevene. When she caught sight of him, though, she would always promptly turn it off, no matter how much he insisted she could keep playing. Eventually, she got comfortable enough to be Hawke’s second player but she was always apologizing whenever she perceived she made some mistake no matter how small. She agreed to just about anything he asked of her even when he insisted she could say no, and eventually he stopped asking her to do things. These days let her run the house as she saw fit and stayed out of her way.

Hawke sighed. “Well, if you need anything just let me know.”

“You are too kind, Messere,” Orana said.

He wasn’t, but he had stopped trying to convince her otherwise. That conversation only upset her. He turned back to the mirror, wondering if he had cleaned up enough, and when he saw his reflection staring back, he just wasn’t sure.

“I am sorry,” Orana said suddenly.

He turned around again to see her adjusting her sleeve, a nervous habit of hers. “You have nothing to be sorry about,” Hawke replied.

“What they are saying on the news…I had hoped…” she started and stopped and looked him in the eye. “You don’t deserve this.”

He didn’t know what to say, but she had too many of her own problems to be fussing over him. He gave a cocky grin and said, “Don’t listen to what that headline says. They’re just trying to sell a good story.”

“But-” she realized she was starting to argue and she quickly clamped her mouth shut. Progress.

“Hey up for a game of Wicked Grace, later? I’m thinking of inviting Merrill and the gang over to celebrate.”

“You haven’t even found out what the Judge is going to say,” she said quietly.

“I told you,” he said, still grinning, and he took one more look at himself in the mirror. His demeanor at least looked, confidant. “There’s nothing to worry about.”

Hawke looked at the crates and crates of his super ultra super expensive alcohol collection piled up in the back of the truck and felt like he was going to throw up. But he wasn’t drunk. Maker, he wished he was. And he was especially craving the Ferelden Dragon Piss. Varric told him he just liked it because of its name, but Hawke swore the burn spoke to him, like a dragon fire in his throat. He usually took to burping out flames after taking a shot and he was going to miss that.

Varric whistled, “You have great taste, Hawke.”

“I’m glad it’s going to a good cause,” Hawke laughed, but inside he felt like dying. Why was this harder than he thought?

Hawke climbed up the truck and slid down the door, the metal shuddering as it shut. “This is it…”Hawke pretended to tear up and dramatically wiped his eyes, though if he wasn’t careful real tears would spring. “Just 365 days left until we meet again.”

“I will write a proper eulogy for this moment,” Varric said taking out a handkerchief making a show of blowing his nose. They then laughed, shoving each other.

“You’re so full of shit, Varric,” Hawke laughed. They gave the ok for the Bodahn to pull out of drive away, Sandal was halfway out the passenger seat window as he waved goodbye. As it turned the corner 3 cruisers with flashing lights and a templar insignia pulled up into Hawke’s driveway and formed a barricade around Hawke’s red Volvoroto. In the front cruiser stepped out Cullen with a templar Hawke recognized as Miranda something or other, a new recruit from Ferelden. She had tried to talk to him about being from Ferelden but Hawke shut her down, hard. Now she hated him, like most templars in the Circle. He looked across the other templars, none who he had bothered to learn the names of but instead he kept track of by features: “Bug-Eyes,” “No lips,” “Creepy vibes,” “Baldy #2 and 4,“ and ’‘Braids” but she wasn’t wearing braids today. Nobody looked happy to see him. He just had that charm.

“What are you all doing here?” Hawke crossed his arms at the approaching templars. Varric shifted, his hands in his pockets staying quiet. Some of the templars murmured a hello to the dwarf, and Varric returned the greeting as usual, but the air was still thick with tension.

Cullen wordlessly showed Hawke a court-appointed search warrant stating he was there to confiscate any contraband that Hawke had in his mansion, including alcohol, but not excluding other things Hawke might own that the templars deemed illicit. Hawke looked back up furious. “Look I already followed the order. Ask Varric, I just sold him my alcohol collection.”

“The cheap stuff I’ll keep in the Hanged Man, “donated,” but, uh, if you fine, good sers follow me to my estate I can show proof of sale,” Varric made a motion to his car parked on the street, but Cullen held up his hand in refusal.

“So you’ll still have access,” he said crossly.

“No, I swear. I’m done with the stuff until I’m free and clear. Everything’s peachy.”

Baldy #2 stepped forward with a Breathalyzer and said in a stern voice. “Messere.”

Hawke sniffed angrily and turned to see Merrill coming out of the house. “Vhenan, Varric, why are you taking so long? The food’s getting…” she saw all the templars and froze. “Cold,” she finished awkwardly.

Baldy #2 cleared his throat pushing the machine up to Hawke’s mouth. With a ragged sigh, he leaned forward and breathed into it.

After a few moments, the meter remained 0.00. “He’s sober,” Baldy #2 reported.

“For now,” Cullen snorted pushing past him and Merrill and into Hawke’s mansion. Hawke followed, feeling panicked. Everything had been hidden and they were prepared for a search, but how long were they going to be there? How thoroughly would they search?

“Look, I have nothing to hide.” Merrill crept to his side taking his hand.

“I don’t believe you. And I also believe you’re hiding more than you say you are, so Meredith’s ordered an inspection,” Cullen said. The templars followed closely behind Hawke almost like an escort. They had their hands near their guns as if Hawke would attack any moment. And if Hawke wasn’t careful he would.

Boof must have sense Hawke’s thoughts because he raced down out of Hawke’s bedroom and jumped off the balcony, barking madly.

“Boof, no!” Hawke cried out. The dog rolled as he hit the ground and bounded forward, his teeth baring at the intruders but Hawke blocked Boof with his body. At first, he managed to grab his chest, but he slipped as the dog kept lunging. The templars, including Cullen, drew their guns and pointed it at the dog which Hawke kept blocking with his body. He grabbed Boof by the collar, but the dog was still pulling forward. He snapped at the air, drool flying with unbridled rage in his eyes.

“Restrain him!” Cullen ordered, his handgun still pointed at Hawke and the dog.

“What do you think I’m doing? Put down your fucking guns!” Hawke shouted, which agitated his dog even more and he growled, choking, as his claws raked the ground as he tried to push forward.

“Hey, hey, everyone just calm down,” Varric said looking at both Hawke and the templars.

Merrill’s eyes were wide with panic, but she stepped forward and calmly put her body in between Hawke, Boof and the guns, her hands held up. Her back was to the templars. Hawke panicked thinking she might be caught in the crossfire. “Boof, sweetie,” her shaky voice still sweet. She reached for the snapping dog, slowly with trembling hands. “It’s Merrill. You’re safe right now.”

Fenris, Aveline, Bethany, and Orana had come from the kitchen, their eyes wide in fear as they saw the contingent of templars pointing their guns at Merrill, Boof, and Hawke. He prayed Anders had already gone down through the secret tunnel in the basement, safe, but he didn’t have time to check.

“Merrill, don’t,” Hawke pleaded. “Get out of the way.” It took almost all his strength to restrain his dog, but Boof recognized Merrill, and the dog stopped chomping. Hawke wouldn’t let Boof be slaughtered but he couldn’t let Merrill be shot either.

Boof still growled menacingly, the sound filled the room. She didn’t move closer until Boof stopped lunging. His eyes were trying to communicate something. Hawke was able to adjust his grip, but he dared not let go in case Boof got another idea.

Aveline stepped out marching up to Cullen and pushed down his gun. She was out of uniform now but she was still intimidating even in tank top and jeans. “What is the meaning of this?”

“We have a search warrant,” Cullen explained. “Please do not interfere. We know where your loyalties lie.”

Aveline looked at the warrant conflicted. Hawke knew she was duty-bound to honor it, but she wouldn’t step out of the way. She glared at the templars, fury in her eyes. “You can do your search after you put down your guns.”

Merrill was ignoring this, her focus on the panicked mabari. “Boof,” she said sweetly, and reached over slowly, attempting to pet Boof. A booming bark stopped her. It wasn’t a threat, but he seemed to want Merrill to get out of the way. “I know you’re scared, but it’s ok. No one’s going to harm you or Hawke.”

The dog growled in response, disagreeing.

“Do you have a kennel to put him in?” Cullen asked.

“There’s one in Hawke’s room. We can put him there,” Aveline told Cullen.

Hawke ignored him, focusing on Boof. “Hey, buddy, I know templars fucking suck, but we’re not fighting this battle, ok? I need you to listen. Calm down.”

The dog whined in response, and then returned to growling. This wasn’t working and Boof was going to get himself killed.

“Put him to sleep,” Merrill said, looking straight at Hawke.

It took a moment to register, and Boof growled and barked, and lunged again, trying to break free of Hawke’s grip. Hawke called to his mind great fatigue and channeled it through his hands. The dog barked, and boofed, and then collapsed falling forward on his face and then promptly started snoring. Hawke finally breathed out.

He picked up his 100-pound dog and hoisted him up into his arms, leaning back so he could put most of the weight on his chest. The templars were only now just putting away their guns “What the fuck is wrong with you guys?” he growled.

“Vhenan,” Merrill said, touching his arm and gazing up at him. “Lock Boof up and let’s go eat.”

Her lack of fear puzzled the templars and they exchanged wary glances. She grabbed Hawke’s arm, recognizing that he was starting to meltdown. She said, “Hey, I’m here. Just breathe.”

So Hawke did. He squeezed his dog, the sleeping lug completely limp and just focused on the feel of his heartbeat and felt the coarseness of his long, sandy blond fur. Hawke kept his voice even. “How long will you be here?”

“If you cooperate, only a few hours,” Miranda said. She seemed pleased to see him squirm.

Hawke breathed evenly and slowly, squeezing Boof again. “I am cooperating.”

“Thank you,” Cullen smiled and turned to Merrill. “I’m sorry for this disturbance, Miss. If you’d like, you may continue your meal. We’ll try our best not to disturb you.” It was a little late for that.

Outside of Hawke, Cullen was a perfect gentleman that Hawke couldn’t hate him for. He did kind of start it. But Cullen was an idiot. He didn’t know what was worse, a bad man trying to do good, or a good man not realizing he was doing bad.

Merrill reached up and stroked Hawke’s cheek, bringing him out of his racing thoughts. “Let’s go eat,” she repeated. “Are you coming, Varric?” She was so good at pretending nothing was wrong. How was she doing it?

Varric appeared at Hawke’s side almost guiding him. “C’mon, I’m starving.” Did he look that fragile right now?

Hawke never kept the kennel locked before. It was just a place for Boof to sleep, though he still preferred the foot of Hawke’s bed. He had some difficulty stuffing the dog in, and when he rolled him, Boof started to wake up, his eyes panicked and searching. Hawke kissed his forehead and scratched his ear. “Everything’s ok, bud,” he whispered, and then put him back to sleep.

When Hawke got back to the table his thoughts returned to Anders, but it appeared that he had already slipped away. He breathed a sigh of relief, hoping Anders remembered to hide the passageway behind him, but he was Anders, so of course he did. Hawke tried his best to not look so guilty, but his mother always called him an open book. Did he remember to hide everything in his office? It was a disaster in there anyways, so best of luck finding anything. He kept everything illegal in his portal, and also all his journals, but Templars weren’t stupid as much as he wished they were. What Hawke was most nervous about was the hidden wall in his basement that led to his secret lab and Bethany’s charging station. If they found that they were fucked.

The celebration group dinner had turned into an awkward silence, the clinking of glasses and forks and knives on plates accompanied the sound of Hawke’s closets being turned over and desks being searched through and books being thrown of bookcases. Eventually, the noises woke Boof and his panicked barks and the sound of rattling metal filled the mansion. Orana’s lumpia was delicious and the pancet she made had tasted just like Leandra’s but Hawke could not take comfort in his meal.

Orana’s eyes were wide in fear. She sat next to Fenris, her thin eyebrows knitted together. “Messere, what’s happening?”

“They are just looking around, Orana,” Hawke smiled, but he still looked uneasy.

“Your cooking is wonderful like usual,” Merrill smiled, but she also looked nervous.

“Thank you,” she murmured, looking down shyly. “I’d like to just go to my room if that’s ok,” she was almost whispering.

Hawke nodded, still smiling. “That’s ok, Orana.”

She excused herself from the table to leave when Cullen came into the dining room and halted Orana. “Please, miss, I need you to stay in the dining room until our investigation is complete.” Bug-eyes was behind him carrying some books.

Orana’s light green eyes were wide and she nodded, and she set down on an empty seat next to Fenris, not touching anything. She folded her hands and just looked at her lap, shutting down.

Hawke stood up. “Hey, a friend gave me those.” That friend being Isabela.

“These are illegal literature banned by the Chantry,” Cullen said.

“Which is stupid. It’s just erotica.”

Cullen blushed, his face twisted in disgust. “It’s illegal, some of the material blasphemous,” he stated firmly. “We will also be confiscating your supply of lyrium potions.”

“What the hell for?” Hawke cried. “That’s not illegal.”

“Because of your association with the apostate Anders. We haven’t tracked down how but we know you supply him with resources and help shield him from the law. These may be part of your shipment for the Mage Underground.”

Hawke narrowed his eyes, furious. “Come back with proof.”

Cullen stepped forward, his face stern. “That’s what I’m here to find.”

“Vhenan,” Merrill grabbed his hand, her face worried. “Please sit down and eat.”

They searched the house for several more hours, the group trying to pass time with stories and conversation. Baldy #2 kept guard at the table making the conversation superficial, and other templars would periodically check on them to confirm that everything was “peaceful.” They were instructed to stay in their seats. Time passed slowly, and Hawke kept checking his phone watching the minutes crawl. Somehow, with Merrill and everyone else’s help, he managed to stay afloat.

They informed Hawke before they were leaving that they were taking one more thing, a bottle of Tevinter Spiced Wine that Fenris gifted him for his 26th birthday which was also the year they got together and broke up. It was Fenris’ first gift to him, so he kept the bottle. Fenris thought it was stupid, but Hawke lorded it over him. “Somewhere deep down you like me,” he would tease.

“It’s empty,” Hawke argued. “This is stupid.” He should have put it in his portal.

“Hawke,” Fenris said curtly, his stony gaze hard. “It’s just a bottle. It’s not worth the argument.”

Hawke was hurt. So all this time this was what he meant to him. Hawke dropped his shoulders, releasing the bottle from Cullen’s grip.

“Thank you,” Cullen nodded shortly, “for your cooperation. Have a good day, Champion.” And then he smiled wryly. “And good luck with your anger management.”

Hawke almost punched him, and Merrill grabbed his arm, bringing him out of his thoughts. “Don’t,” she whispered.

The templars marched out of Hawke’s estate, loot in hand, but found nothing else. He once again had gotten lucky. Hawke threw his hand, summoning a ball of blue flame muttering to himself angrily. Most of it was unintelligible but it was something along the lines of “fuck Cullen,” “fuck templars,” and “fuck the Chantry.”

Orana had slipped away to her room, understandably needing some time alone. She couldn’t handle seeing Hawke like this.

“This is fucking dogshit. Fucking come in my house and almost shoot my fucking dog and fucking everyone like fucking idiots.” Hawke was pacing and using fuck every other word now. This wasn’t good. “This is fucking bullshit.”

“That got a little messy, but Boof’s ok, Hawke,” Aveline stayed back, wary of the fire in Hawke’s hands. ”It’s time to calm down.”

Hawke’s laughs were always loud and boisterous, but in response to Aveline’s request, he chuckled. It was neither warm and inviting in his usual manner, but chilled the room. “Oh I’m calm,” he said, tossing the blue flame from one hand to another while his friends watched nervously.

Varric warily tried to tear his friend’s eyes away from the ball of blue flame. “Right, you are cool as a the Frostbacks. So maybe put down the fireball before you burn your mansion down, again.”

“I know what I’m doing Varric,” Hawke said, testily making the flame bigger.

“Vhenan!” Merrill said crossly. She marched in front of the path he was pacing and firmly crossing her arms and planting her feet squarely in front of him. There was mana rising from her body as she raised her magic in a wa

rning. “Put it out, now.”

Everyone held their breath, especially Fenris. Hawke felt like he had been punched in the gut and his eyes went wide. Merrill was never this direct at him, but here she was scolding him like she was his Mother.

Hawke gulped down, deeply embarrassed, and resisted throwing the flame into the fireplace. He took a deep breath and held it and clenched his fist. The flame choked and sputtered at first refusing to die. Hawke struggled, his anger all feeding the dying flame. “I’m safe,” he reminded himself, trying to slow his beating heart and racing thoughts. He breathed as evenly as he could manage and it wavered and slowly it disintegrated into smoke.

Bethany’s mouth fell open. “What just happened?”

“Impressive,” Fenris raised his eyebrows amused. Great, now his ex had jokes.

“It worked!” Merrill squeaked, overjoyed. She was bouncing up and down her hands clapping and flailing. Hawke had to admit her cuteness was deflating him.

Aveline put a fond hand on Merrill’s shoulder. “Please do that more often.”

“Yeah,” Hawke cringed, “gotta get used to that.”

As the others were congratulating Merrill for a job well done Hawke felt himself swirling into a meltdown and he held his head trying to calm this rage that burned inside him. He signed up for this. He knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but he didn’t know how to corral this beast. He knew he needed to change but he didn’t need counseling. He could do it himself.

“Ugh,” Hawke sat down on the ground and put his head on his knees, not sure what to do now. “You guys don’t think I need anger management, right?”

“Actually, I think it’s an excellent idea?” Aveline said.

“What?” Hawke felt the second gut punch. He looked at the woman he was destined to marry for help. “Merrill,” he whined.

“Vhenan,” she sat down next to him and stroked his newly buzzed hair fondly, “This doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You’ve been through a lot. The Judge was being merciful when he suggested counseling. He might be trying to help.”

“But you heard him. She’s a Chantry sister. This is just some ploy so they can get information out of me. For their fucking investigation. It’s too risky.”

“Then don’t talk about that stuff with her. Talk about that with me,” Merrill said bluntly.

Hawke blinked.

“Merrill, you’re full of good ideas today,” Bethany said putting a hand on her shoulder. It kind of seemed obvious now, but it didn’t mean he liked the idea.

“Not you, too,” Hawke groaned.

“Lucky,” Bethany settled herself next to Merrill and grabbed his hand like they were kids again. It was so nice to be able to hear her voice again and feel her touch again. “You know I love you but…there’s a lot of stuff you don’t talk about and I wish you would. It’s healthy. You need to start learning to let go.”

“I have,” Hawke argued.

“I’ve been in your head. I see it probably better than you do,” Bethany said quietly, rubbing his hand like she used to.

Hawke felt so humiliated he felt like he’d start crying, but then he’d never live that down. He buried his head in his knees and groaned obnoxiously. “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.”

“I’d suggest a drink but your court-ordered sober. I have some dry martinis, some cards, and some royal root all waiting in my car for us to party.” That’s right, they couldn’t take the root away from him.

How did that dwarf always know what he needed? “Varric, I love you,” Hawke said not raising his head.

[gayandaverage]

RULES: Answer 20 questions then tag 20 blogs you want to get to know better.

Tagged by: @icangothedistancee

1. Name - Chantelle

2. Nickname - My family call me chanty

3. Zodiac sign - Cancer 🦀

4. Height - 5’6" I think?

5. Languages - Just English

6. Nationality - English

7. Favorite season - Summer 🕶

8. Favorite flower - Carnations (my mum would always buy them and now they remind me of her)

9. Favorite scent - An open fire 🔥

10. Favorite color - Blue

11. Favorite animal - Dogs 🐕

12. Favorite fictional character - Macgyver for sure he is one cool dude

13. Coffee, tea or hot chocolate - Coffee

14. Average sleep - Depends if I have work... 4-5 hours if I don't have work imma sleep my whole day away (like 12 hours) 💤

15. Cats or dogs - I love them both.... but dogs top it for me

16. Number of blankets - Just the one duvet in the winter I might add a blanket but its gonna get kicked off my bed in the night 💁‍♀️

17. Dream trip - I'd love to take my mum to Barbados or Australia.

18. Blog established - I don't know exactly a long time ago tho if I had to guess I'd say like 6 years ago maybe?

19. How many followers - Not even 300 🙈 (297 to be exact)

20. Random fact about yourself - I think dad jokes are great, probably the second best way to heart is to tell me dad jokes 😂

I don't even know 20 blogs to tag so uhh whoever sees this that actually wants to do it I tag you 🙂

PSA you might have to go to the desktop version on your phone or your computer to copy (did jenna add this cos I was stupid and couldn't figure it out on my own.... maybe)

[midnightechoes]

Jackets (She-Ra fanfic) Ch 1

NOTES:

Hi! Welcome to the first fleshed out, multi-chapter thing I've written in years! I loved She-Ra and the Princesses of Power so much it's inspired this huge burst of creativity, so let's see how this goes! I'm not going to state how many chapters it'll be yet because I'm not exactly sure, but this will probably end up being pretty long.

I'll probably be adjusting and adding tags as I go and think of them. I'll also be using this section for chapter-specific trigger warnings.

Jackets is primarily a Catradora fanfic. It’s pretty plot heavy but I promise Catradora is what drives most of it. There’s also a Pertrapta subplot in it too. Because I love them. 

Okay, so I know that in the summary it says that Jackets takes place a year after the Battle of Bright Moon, but chapter 1 actually takes place only 4 months after the Battle of Bright Moon. That's because chapter 1 is sort of a prologue.

Also, because there will eventually feature explicit sexual wlw content I want to make sure to establish that ALL CHARACTERS DEPICTED are over the age of 18. Speaking of the smut though, don't expect it like every chapter, or even every other chapter. Jackets is very story heavy, if you're just looking for non-stop sex it maaaaay not be the fic for you.

If you enjoy Jackets please consider hopping over to AO3 and giving it some Kudos! Chapter 1 on AO3

TW: emotional abuse; emotional manipulation; violence; excessive Kyle

CHAPTER ONE - RIFT HOLLOW

Adora was staring at Catra’s outstretched hand. The catgirl had a one of her trademark smirks on her face, and Adora couldn’t tell why. Adora had been taken aback by Catra’s choice of clothes. A striking, dark plum colored suit with magenta accents and matching button down blouse. Her bowtie dangled around her neck, untied. Dirty tactics, Catra.

Since the moment Catra and Scorpia had arrived, Adora couldn’t help but fixate on her best friend. Ex-best friend? Friend-with-complications? She knew they were up to something, but so far the best Adora could tell Catra had come just to tease her. And now this. The smirk had gotten bigger, exposing one of Catra’s razor sharp canines. For the first time Adora payed attention to the music that was beginning to play. A jazzy little ballroom number. Adora resolved herself and lifted her hand to meet Catra’s. It seemed that playing her game was going to be the only way to figure this out.

Presentation and ritual were important to the Horde, even in matters of celebration. There were no parties. No spontaneous dancing in the aisles. No raucous chanties spun out of nothing. Ballroom dancing was the liveliest the Horde allowed. Even then, they made you practice it until it wasn’t fun anymore. Except when Adora and Catra practiced together. According to their instructor, Essteare, they were horrible at it. Too much improvisation. Too much laughing. Too many erratic motions. Gliding across that room, swaying and spinning in Catra’s arms, were some of the only times away from Force Captain training where Adora felt truly alive.

Essateare would have been so proud of this moment. Adora and Catra, hands pressed together, free arms bent at 90 degrees behind their backs. Tight. Precise.

Adora hated it.

“I know you’re up to something. I’m going to figure out what,” Adora said as they slowly circled around each other.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just here to enjoy myself.”

“We both know that’s not true Catra,” Adora huffed as she spun Catra away. She turned to receive the next dancer.

There was nobody there.

“Huh.” Adora blinked at the empty dance floor.

Catra slammed back into Adora, resting her head on Adora’s shoulder. “Just us this time,” Catra breathed. “Everyone else is gone.” In one smooth motion Catra grabbed and dipped Adora. Their faces were inches apart. Adora could feel every drop of blood she had flooding her cheeks. “Lucky them.”

“Wait, what?” The statement smacked into Adora.

“They’ve managed to get away from you,” Catra scoffed as she twirled Adora.

Adora was trying to regain her balance. “They’re my friends! They- They wouldn’t-”

Catra slammed into Adora again, knocking the rest of her statement out of her. She grabbed Adora’s hands and led her into a slow waltz. “Wouldn’t what? Want to be around you? Want to be in the blast radius of the inevitable ticking time bomb that is Adora?”

“I- I try not to be,” Adora was struggling to focus. She was trying to pull her hands free, but Catra’s grip was iron tight.

“Even if they haven’t figured it out yet, they will,” Catra sneered. “Getting away from you was the best thing to happen to me. I have friends now. REAL friends, not just someone using me as an emotional crutch!”

“I’m glad you have friends. I’m happy for you Catra, I really am.”

“People respect me now. They look up to me. The Horde believes in ME. All thanks to ditching you.”

Honestly it was shocking how tight Catra’s grip was. Even if she was She-Ra, Adora wasn’t sure she would have been able to break free of it.

Catra pulled her in. Their bodies were pressed together. Adora could feel the heat coming off Catra. “Let’s face it, I’ve done the world a favor,” Catra whispered into Adora’s ear.

Adora pulled her head back so she could look Catra in the eyes. There was something sinister in her stare. Every word Catra said slammed into Adora’s chest. Tearing. Pulling. It felt like Adora’s heart had a python wrapped around it, squeezing the life out of it.

“I don’t understand,” Adora airly breathed.

Catra let Adora go, and slowly backed away. The smirk had morphed into a wild grin. Almost feral. Almost evil. Catra’s claws were fully extended, soaked in red. Adora opened her mouth to plead with Catra to explain what she meant, but nothing came out. Just a huff of air, and a labored grunt.

It was then that Adora realized that she was getting light headed. Her abdomen felt like it was on fire. She looked down.

There was a giant gash in Adora’s stomach. Blood was gushing profusely from it. “Ca…Cat… tra,” Adora managed to push out as she collapsed onto the ground.

  Adora bolted up into a sitting position. Sweat was pouring down her face, tears pooling at the corners of her eyes. Her chest was heaving, unable to catch her breath. She ripped her covers off and patted around her stomach. No blood. No hole or gash. No claw marks. There was no chance that there would be. This was more just busy work to calm herself down.

It was working.

As Adora’s breathing slowed to normal; as she wiped away the sticky residue of tears around her eyes; reality started coming back into view. Her bed. Her dark room in Bright Moon Castle, lit only by the moons high above in the sky. Judging from their positions, it was around 3 in the morning. A cool breeze was wafting in through the open doorway to her balcony. The breeze hit Adora. It danced around every bead of sweat, drawing goosebumps on her skin. Adora spun her legs around and dangled them off her bed. She sat there, at the edge of her bed, intently staring at seemingly nothing.

This wasn’t the first time Adora had that dream. Sometimes it went that way. Sometimes it went in a much more pleasant direction. Adora craned her arm around and gently traced the four gashes that ran halfway down her back, starting from her shoulder blade. The other side of her back had a matching set. It had been four months since the battle of Bright Moon, and the scratches on Adora’s back still hadn’t disappeared. She had for some time now come to accept that they wouldn’t.

Scars.

She-Ra doesn’t scar.

At least, She-Ra never had before, or since for that matter. What damage She-Ra did get never carried back into Adora. Except these. Adora knew that Catra’s claws were something to fear. She’d seen them glide through solid metal as one might run their fingers through water. She’d even been on receiving end of a few nicks from them. Granted, those instances were met with Catra being beside-herself distraught with what she had done, not maniacal glee.

Adora kept telling people that they were a statement Catra was trying to send to her. That wasn’t entirely true though. Adora knew that. They were the punctuation to the statements Catra had told her back during their ordeal in the Crystal Castle. Adora still hadn’t told anyone about what happened there, not even Glimmer and Bow. The entire extent of hers and Catra’s friendship was something Adora tried not to talk about. She thought it would make things between her and her new friends messier than they needed to be. Which meant that the Crystal Castle ordeal was something that she’d kept to herself.

She wouldn’t even know where to start at this point. Catra never summoned just one clear emotion anymore. It was this ball. Lumpy. Messy. That would press down on her chest and stick in her throat. Safer to just not bring it up at all than try sorting through it.

Not that she felt great about lying to her best friends. Then again, her and Catra apparently spent a lot of their lives not being honest with each other. Maybe this was just how Adora did friendship. The thought did something awful to the pit of her stomach. A strong gust of wind billowed in, causing Adora to shiver. Just enough to jolt Adora out of this pit of self-loathing that that she had found herself in. A pit that she had spent far too many nights in recently.

Chances of getting back to sleep were out of the question at this point. Adora got dressed into a sporty tank top and workout leggings. As was becoming a frequent custom, if sleep wasn’t going to happen, Adora decided to do the one thing that still cleared her mind: training.

  All things considered, Rift Hollow wasn’t a strategically important part of the Horde. It was hours southeast of the Fright Zone, even by skiff. A small farming town, it mainly supplied food for a few of the security checkpoints along the southeast border of the Horde.

Under normal circumstances, reports of civil unrest in Rift Hollow probably wouldn’t warrant even a Force Captain making the trip, let alone Lord Hordak’s 2nd-In-Command. Catra wasn’t concerned with the problems of Rift Hollow though. After the initial thrill of her promotion, the realities of the work set in. While unsuccessful, the assault on Bright Moon had been a great audition for Catra, but it had also left the Horde forces in shambles. These first four months as Force General had been dedicated to refortifying the ranks of the Horde’s army.

Catra’s personal project had been to put together a squad that she could trust. Lonnie, Rogelio, and Kyle had been natural choices. Well, maybe not Kyle, but his inclusion was essential to get Rogelio on board. They’d seen minor field work before, but today was their first big day. Catra wanted to be on hand to see how they performed.

The transport skiff lurched to a stop near the entrance of the town. Catra stood below deck, looking over the status report on Rift Hollow. Above her Force Captain Octavia was barking orders at the squads. Catra rubbed the bridge of her nose. Even now, as Octavia’s superior, something about that woman just grated at Catra. She couldn’t argue with Octavia’s effectiveness though. She was just so damn annoying. Or maybe it was just that this trip had been annoying. Hours of traveling through the Horde countryside just to come yell at some farmers. Or maybe… Maybe it was just everything. Truth be told when Lord Hordak had promoted her Catra mostly envisioned hanging out with Entrapta and Scorpia to come up with plans to take down those princesses, not… reports. Or staff updates. Or overseeing training.  

Octavia was finishing up. Catra let out a yawn before tossing down her notes and making her way up the stairs.

Octavia’s squad of rookies was tasked with securing the perimeter near the skiff and the entrance of the town. Catra led her squad of Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio into Rift Hollow. The townsfolk gave them a wide berth. Their fear was apparent. Catra enjoyed the feeling. They met with a local Horde security officer named Norn near the center of town.

At the sight of Catra Norn stiffened up and saluted. “Force General! Ma’am? So sorry we weren’t expecting you! Had we known that-” Norn started.

Catra waved him off. “Relax Officer, you’re fine. I’m just here to make sure my newbies are ready. Now, what’s the latest?”

“Fourth day of protests. Most of the farmers have halted work entirely.”

“Can’t have that now can we. Where are they?”

“Follow me, I’ll show you.” Norn led Catra’s squad through the town. Within a few minutes they were at the edge of the farmlands where a group of farmers were forming a pretty meager blockade and taunting the one Horde security officer already there. At the sight of Catra the farmers began yelling. The details of what they were saying were lost as too many voices overlapped each other.

Catra snapped her finger at Kyle. He lifted a horn up and pressed the button. A screeching sound filled the area, causing everyone to fall silent. Catra patiently waited until the horn died down. She had everyone’s attention. Even some of the townsfolk were making their way to see what all the common was about.

“Citizens of the Horde,” Catra began.

“You mean citizens of Rift Hollow!” a man called out from the crowd.

“ Excuse me ?” Catra growled. The man was easy to find, especially since as soon as Catra started moving forward everyone else moved away from the man as if he was contagious. To his credit, the man didn’t back down. He did gulp hard as Catra bared down on him, so only but so much credit. “You’re first and foremost a citizen of the Horde. Got it?”

The man mustered all the courage he could. “I was a citizen of Rift Hollow long before the Horde. And I’ll be one after the Horde too.”

Catra didn’t respond for a moment. She examined the man in front of her. Had to be in his mid-forties, easily. Without warning, Catra spun jerked her arm up and connected with a backhanded slap that sent the man careening to the ground.

All of Rift Hollow ground to a stop. Dozens of pairs of eyes were trained on Catra. She flicked her hand in a couple of motions in the general direction of her squad. Lonnie, Rogelio, and Kyle began spreading out.

“Okay. Gonna say this one time,” Catra announced. “Thanks to these little, fits , Rift Hollow hasn’t made its production quotas in two months. You WILL make your quota next month. If you don’t the next visit’s gonna involve tanks. Got it? Now, for the rest of today I’m imposing a curfew, starting now! Everyone go home. Anyone caught protesting, or out at all, will be disciplined.”

A couple of the farmers helped the man that Catra struck to his feet. Nobody was leaving. “We can’t be treated this way. We’re human beings dammit,” the man huffed.

“Yeah, stupid ones. Squad!” Catra called out. On cue Lonnie and Rogelio turned on their stun spears. Impressive weapons that had Entrapta written all over them. Kyle followed suit just seconds after them. Lonnie and Rogelio jammed the closest protesters, who dropped to the ground immediately in pain.

Panic struck the town. People started fleeing in every direction. A few tried to fight back. Lonnie and Rogelio were making those few immediately regret those decisions. Even Kyle was taking control of his area. The Horde security officers were assisting.

Kyle was trying to focus on herding the citizens back to their homes instead of engaging in physical altercations. “Focus Ky. Focus. You can do this. Just focus,” he kept chanting to himself. He came across a couple of surly farmers who didn’t much want to move or go home. “Re-return to your houses now fellas!” Kyle yelped. They just glared at him. “Please!” he added. The two men instead began approaching Kyle. In a panic Kyle jabbed out his spear. Sparks flickered as it connected with the first man, who fell over immediately. He swung the spear to the next man, dropping him also.

“Not bad, Ky!” Kyle assured himself. He spun around confidently, only to realize that another man had snuck up on him. The old man still seemed pretty spry for someone who looked to be in their seventies. He had a big pitchfork that he was rattling at Kyle. “Oh no,” Kyle whispered.

Meanwhile Catra had her attention trained on the man that she had struck originally. He seemed determined to stand his ground. Catra smirked while one hand rested firmly on her hip. “Look at what you’ve done.”

“What I did?! I didn’t threaten a whole town! I didn’t sic guards on people to force them into their homes! I-”

Didn’t get a chance to finish that sentence. Catra’s fist slammed into his face. The man stumbled. Front kick squarely into the stomach sent him back to the ground. She stood over the man and flashed her claws. The smile on Catra’s face was slowly widening.

A familiar screaming broke Catra’s concentration. Without even looking Catra had a good idea what she was about to see, and sighed. Kyle was standing there, a pitchfork plunged into his shoulder. Catra’s interest in the man she was assaulting waned.

Out of nowhere Rogelio appeared and sent the old man tumbling onto the ground. All 6’7” of the stocky green lizard man towered over the elder. Terror washed over his face as Rogelio began cracking his knuckles one by one. Rogelio began stalking towards the old man when he felt something tug at his pants leg. Rogelio looked down to see Kyle.

“Roj, sweetie please, don’t,” Kyle was able to force out. Rogelio reached down and pulled the pitchfork out of Kyle. He scooped the fraile, blond man up and cradled him in his arms.

Catra appeared next to them. “Rogelio, get Kyle back to the transport, and tell Octavia to get her squad over here!” Without hesitation Rogelio took off. “Dammit Kyle,” Catra sighed to herself.

  Before he even opened his eyes, the noises flooding Kyle’s ears were painting a picture. A rhythmic beeping that was keeping time with his heartbeat. The low hum of the various machines in the room. Hissing was sprinkling down from the halogen lights above him. And a constant scratching.

Kyle ventured to pry his eyes open. It took a moment for his vision to come into focus. Everything was as expected. A Horde infirmary. Judging from the better than average state of upkeep of it, he was probably in Horde Command, the military city at the center of the Fright Zone, where Fright Spire, Lord Hordak’s base of operations, resided. Home.

Just to Kyle’s left was Catra, sitting haphazardly in a chair, one leg dangling over the armrest while the other seemingly crumpled onto the floor. Every minute or two her tail would tap the floor. She hadn’t looked up yet from the pad she was holding as she steadily scratched a pencil along it. From his angle Kyle couldn’t make out what she was doing.

“Whatcha drawing?” Kyle croaked.

“Drawing?”

“Oh, I thought you might be doodling something.”

“What am I, 12?”

“You used to love-”

“Reports Ky. I’m filling out reports about today, which you missed the end of. Long story short, Rift Hollow is complying,” Catra gloated. She slowly pushed herself up and approached the side of Kyle’s bed.

“Nothing permanent. Doc patched you up good. Even with Rogelio breathing down his neck the whole time.”

“He worries.”

“I know. I’ll go get him in a minute. He’ll be happy to hear that you’re up. Only reason why he wasn’t here is because I was getting worried he was going to pace a groove into the floor.”

Their conversation died down. They let an awkward silence pass over them for a moment before Catra patted Kyle on the shoulder.

“I’m taking you back out of the field.”

“What? No! I can do this Catra!”

“Kyle, you let an old man wreck you on your first day! Look, I didn’t put any of the details into the report. This isn’t going to affect your permanent record.”

“Really Catra, please, I’ll do better next time! I promise! I-”

Catra waved her hand in front of him. “This isn’t a debate. I even talked to Rogelio already. He agreed, you’ll be safer here. We’ll find something else for you.”

“He’s my boyfriend, not my father! He doesn’t get to decide what I do and don’t do!” Kyle fumed. A fire was bubbling up inside of him and spilling over. This probably didn’t fit very well into the doctor’s ‘rest and recuperation’ plan.

“No, I get to decide,” Catra huffed, done with this conversation. “And I did. Kyle, on your first day you couldn’t even subdue a simple-”

“-Grandfather!”

Kyle hadn’t meant to blurt it out. Both of his hands immediately shot up to his mouth as his eyes bulged in his head. He could only muster looking up at Catra for a split second before lowering his gaze back down. She was silent, glaring at him intently. Her mouth was slightly agape.

He didn’t often win arguments with Catra. Kyle was pretty certain he hadn’t won this either. But maybe. Just maybe, he hadn’t lost it either.

“What?” Catra floated out. It was softer and more inviting than anything Kyle had heard from her in months.

Kyle inhaled hard, sucking in as much air, and courage, as his lungs could hold. “I hacked into the digital records a few years back. I just… I just wanted to know where I came from. That’s when I found them. My family. Four generations, all farmers in Rift Hollow. I’ll be the first to not.”

Catra sat down on the side of Kyle’s bed. “What happened?”

“Don’t know. That part wasn’t in the file. Something , happened to my parents. And the rest of my family had to give me up to the Horde.

“I… I check in on them now and again. Just to make sure they’re okay. My family doesn’t even know I’m alive,” Kyle sniffed.

It lasted only for a brief second, but Kyle was sure he had seen it. A flicker on Catra’s face. The scrunching at the bridge of her nose. The soft frown.

Compassion.

Just for that second though, then Force General Catra was back. “You’re a Horde soldier. We’re you’re family now. The only one that matters at least.”

Catra patted Kyle on the shoulder again. “And that detail aside, I still have concerns about you out in the field,” Catra conceded. Kyle hung his head. Catra scratched the back of her neck. A friend, a loyal friend, was crushed. It was plainly written on his face. Catra didn’t want to leave him like this. She’s better than that.

Think Catra.

Think.

Ah-ha!

The germ of an idea bubbled into Catra’s mind. She looked over to Kyle and gently slapped him on the arm. “Forget field work. You managed to hack into the Horde mainframe all by yourself?”

Kyle perked up. “Huh? Oh, yeah?”

  First came writing reports. Then came filing them into the computer. Catra knew it was probably faster to just write them on the computer in the first place, but she had an easier time collecting her thoughts through a pencil than she did a keyboard.

It had been full day, and these reports had taken her late into the evening. All that was left was Kyle’s. It was getting late, Catra could feel it in her body, which was calling for her bed. A cruel thing, really, seeing as how Catra knew that when she got there all she’d do is lie awake for hours, trying to pick out all the various hums and clanks of all the machines that kept the Fright Zone going.

Focus, or lack of focus actually, wasn’t helping either. Catra kept thinking about Kyle. Well, Kyle’s family.

Family.

Family…

Catra sighed. With a few clicks she found herself in another program. A Horde directory. Only available to the highest ranking members. Something Catra only had available to her for four months now. She typed her name in and hit the little button with a magnifying glass. The results popped up, causing Catra to sigh yet again. Longer this time though. She allowed the sigh to deflate her as she slumped into her chair.

Oh, look, it’s your file. And hey, under “Known Relatives” it lists “None”. Just like the last three times you did this. You and None really need to hang out sometime and trade family recipes or something. I mean, you don’t have any, but maybe they will!

The Horde is your family. This is all you have.

---

[chalantness]

Tagged by @flamehairedwritings!

1. How has your day been?

My day just started, but the last few days have been pretty mellow for me.

2. What is the last thing that made you smile?

I’m giggling right now because I have Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle on! I usually start my mornings like this with a fun movie to put me in a good mood.

3. What’s keeping you entertained these days?

Mostly writing, reading, and bullet journaling, usually with a movie or show going on in the background. I’ve also been doing a lot of decluttering and reorganizing and that’s helped me feel productive.

4. If you’re in quarantine/self isolation, is there anything you’d like to achieve in this time?

The only distinct goal I’m working towards is finishing  “Here, on the Edge of Hell” soon.

But other than that, there hasn’t been any bigger goals, but a lot of smaller, daily goals! I have this thing where I have a task list for the week and then I also have a list of accomplishments, since the tasks I plan to do and the tasks I actually do aren’t always the same. But just because I’m not crossing everything off of a list doesn’t mean that I haven’t been productive. It’s an idea I learned from someone on Instagram and it’s a great little trick to staying positive!

5. Post a selfie if you’re comfortable with that.

It’s not a selfie, but here’s a picture of me being awkward at Disneyland with the Captain America cast member!

Tagging: @xo-stardust720​ @natrogersfics​ @sassaspazz​ @moonguks​ @evanzski​ @gomustanggirl16​ @greenslanterns​ and anyone else that wants to give me a slice of their life these days!

[aworldoforange]

Singular Act 2 Album Review

Here is my track by track review of Singular Act 2 by Sabrina Carpenter. (idk who’s interested but I’m doing this because I want to lol). I will be ranking each song out of 10 points, Feel free to tag this or comment with your fave tracks if you have heard the album.

In My Bed (10/10): A mellow but moving opener to the album. The song explores the emotions you feel when you overthink something or are overly anxious and it makes you want to stay in your bed or mentally be in bed and not deal with it. The song’s tempo starts slow then slowly increases into a steady rhythm that perfectly fits the moody self-reflective vibe of the song. The lyrics are very relatable anyone doubting themselves or struggling to balance their emotions to get what they want or need. I definitely recommend this track to anyone who asks I think everyone will be able to relate to it in a way.

Pushing 20 (9/10): An upbeat bouncy beat that stays steady with the no-nonsense confident and impatient lyrics regarding someone who is wasting Sabrina’s time and not taking her seriously despite being on the verge of adulthood. Despite the song referring to turning 20, anyone can relate to this song in terms of getting rid of the people in your life who waste your time and don’t give you anything but frustration, The lyrics are sassy and fun with the chorus being chanty and easy to remember so don’t be surprised if it gets stuck in your head.

I Can’t Stop Me ft. Saweetie (8.5./10): A trap inflected anthem about liking what you like and not being ashamed of it no matter what anyone says despite you knowing it may not be the best thing for you.The mixed message and Saweetie’s adlibs cutting off Sabrina’s vocals may make this track offputting on its first listen but it may just be a grower as it took me three listens to get into it. Saweetie’s verse exudes her confidence that comes across as far more mature than Sabrina’s lyricwise but contributes to the powerhouse atmosphere of the song in a way that works solidly. 

I’m Fakin (10/10): This self-confronting song has light hearted breezy slightly tropical production that may hide the true subject matter of the song. Sabrina admits that despite the issues she is having in a relationship she never truly intends on leaving and only says it seem like she has the upper hand when she really wants to stay. For me this song is the easiest to bop along because of its airy yet swift beat that gives this song a pleasant moment that offsets the lyrics that may be taken more seriously with different production and give the song a different vibe. The chorus is a real earworm that may bounce around in your head for a while but you may not mind it at all. 

Take Off All Your Cool: (9/10): This song about liking a person when they act like themselves and not try to put on a facade comes with a unique building production that seems to lead to heavy beat drop but pleasantly surprises you with a chill beat drop that reminds me of the sound of a water droplet dropping into a puddle of water. It feels refreshing after the heated and commanding vocal delivery Sabrina displays in the prechorus that gives the song a romantic and summery vibe. 

Tell Em: (10/10): Tell Em is a sensual and romantic song that is the musical equivalent of a warm embrace. The production may be reminiscent of the R&B influenced songs from Ariana Grande’s sweetener or maybe even thank u next. However, Sabrina offers hushed and intimate vocals that makes the song much more personal and delicate than any of those songs. The song is about knowing the relationship you have with someone but not needing to tell anyone else because it is so valuable between the two of you alone. This is another song I definitely recommend as a must listen song and a highlight of the album, and as a highlight in Sabrina Carpenter’s discography overall.

Exhale (10/10): Raw and revealing lyrics about the true mental state Sabrina is facing power this stripped back ballad about needing to take a breathe from all the stress and tension in her life from her family, record label and her own anxiety and self-doubt. This song handles the topic matter of anxiety in a very raw and realistic way that feels much more like a confessional then a glossy, broad take on the subject that is too generic for anyone to truly understand how the singer is actually feeling. The only problem with this song is too short (2 minutes and forty seconds) but you feel as the song ends you feel Sabrina got everything off her chest and exhaled and the song suddenly feels more complete than before.

Take You Back (10/10): Sabrina jumps back into her sass mode as she snaps at someone in her life who she previously let in but realizes isn’t actually making her happy and only giving her problems so she wants to get rid of them. She relies on lyrical humor to relate getting rid of this person to taking back a product she wasn’t happy with back to the store, calling her decision to be with them a case of “buyer’s remorse”. The title alone is ironic since it may fool the listener into thinking they will be hearing a song about wanting somebody back in their life when it is exactly the opposite. This track is my personal favorite for its lyrical themes and humorous approach alone.

Looking At Me (10/10): The album comes to a powerful close with an upbeat Latin-influenced thumping disco beat about being so confident with yourself that when you’re in a room with lots of people you say know their eyes are all on you because you give off such confidence. Sabrina gives us more playful lyrics and powerful sassy vocals to bring the album to a riveting close. Out of all the songs on the album this definitely seems like the best choice for a single. This song could very easily start up a dance party and get everyone on the dance floor. If you ever need a boost just turn up this song and dance your heart out.

Overall this album was very strong and definitely has replay value in pretty much all of its tracks for me. I definitely recommend giving the album a listen I don’t think it will disappoint anyone who does, 

Grade: A

Must Listen Tracks: Take You Back, Looking At Me, Tell Em, In My Bed, I’m Fakin, Exhale

[lower-east-side]

21 Questions

Tagged by @magpiefngrl for some questions! Thank you for supporting my insomnia

Nickname: very few people use a nickname for me, but a couple say chanty (from chantal) and a few others from my radio days say c-mar (from the full chantal-marie)

Height: 5'2, short enough I have to get help with the top shelf bottles at work, lol

Last movie I saw: Into the Spiderverse, which was super fun

Last thing I Googled: an address where I'm going to drop off a case of cat food for donation to a feral rescue

Favourite musician: John Darnielle of The Mountain Goats

Song stuck in my head: the Game of Thrones theme song because I am binge rewatching episodes

Other blogs: I keep an LJ and DW in case of fests over there, but I mainly only post here. I used to do a personal tumblr but once I made friends in fandom I just started posting personal shit here, ha. I also used to run a transportation disaster blog (historical and current) but it was hard to keep up with once I fell back into fandom. Might resurrect that one someday.

Do I get asks: Not often. If I do an ask meme I'll get a few. I'm always up for asks, about my fic or anything else, though!

Following: 213, I don't follow all that many blogs that don't post original content, or multifandom stuff. (Sorry! You are valid! I have time constraints!)

Amount of sleep: 5.5-6.5 lately, not too happy about that. For instance - today I am fucked.

Lucky number: 28

What I’m wearing: black leggings, grey long sleeved shirt, Jameson hoodie I got from work

Dream job: No job. Not kidding. If I have to work, anything that pays me to travel, including musician that tours. Pretty happy with bartending at the moment, though.

Dream trip: uuuggghhh this one is really hard. I want to show my partner all the place I love that he hasn't been in Europe. But I'll pick somewhere new. Continent-wise, I'm missing Antarctica (never) and South America. I'm waiting for my dad to retire for that one, since he wants to see Peru. I also want to see Cuba, SE Asia, Japan, and any part of Europe I haven't been, like France and Spain. Also I've never been out West or to the Pacific Northwest. Oh! I know! Mount St. Helens, to add to my volcano total (currently at 3.)

Favourite food: any kind of dumpling ever, from momo to pierogi. Other faves include tiropita, french toast, goulash, kibbeh, and key lime pie.

Play any instruments: Guitar and bass guitar, in several bands. Used to play oboe, can hack my way around a keyboard, and vocals.

Languages: I only speak English. I'm not proud of it. I took Latin (lots) and Attic Greek (some) as part of my degrees, but those are not taught as speaking languages and if you don't use it, you lose it. I make an effort to learn at least a few phrases wherever I am going, and I can bluster my way through simple Romance languages when written on a menu or sign. Attic Greek was good for the alphabet and some vocab, but it's way off from modern and not terribly useful.

Favourite songs: She Sends Kisses - The Wrens; You Go On Ahead - Sunset Rubdown; Oceanographer's Choice - Mountain Goats; Violet - Hole; Telegraph - OMD; Plainsong - The Cure; Skip Tracer - Sonic Youth; Busby Berkeley Dreams - The Magnetic Fields

Random fact: I collect old commercial aviation memorabilia.

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: daiquiri, red velvet couch, chai

Tagging @whiskyandwildflowers @restlessandordinary @korlaena and I think this has been up for a few days so I’ll stop before I retag a million people

[enchantment1385]

OC Interview Meme

I was tagged by the gorgorgus @heraldofwho , the great @dickeybbqpit and the wonderful @dinah-myles  Thank you, you darling people! 

1. What is your name? I will answer to, Commander smexy, Captain awesome, “Oi!”, or begrudgingly  Hero of Ferelden... I bet if i’d made Alistair king he’d have given me a better bloody name... 

2. What is your real name? Jereth Amell... I have a middle name too... But the blight will take me before I tell you what it is.

3. Do you know why you were called that?  Not a bloody clue. 

4. Are you single or taken? I’m banging the divine. He says while doing finger guns.

5. Have any abilities or powers? You have HEARD of me, right? I killed a dragon! And not just any old dragon, a mind controlling, blight infested, BIG bastard! Makers shiny arse, I was sore after that fight... Sodding thing fell on me when I poked it with the sword!

6. Stop being a Mary Sue If that’s code for ‘awesome’, that’s just plain impossible I’m afraid. 

7. What’s your eye colour? He goes cross eyed trying to look at his own eyes. Well, they were blue, but this many years after my genlock cocktail, they’re a bit grey... But I’m gonna fix that! ... I think...

8. How about your hair colour? Are you saying I’m going grey?! Cause... That’s just some dead stuff that didn’t wash out last time... 

9. Have you any family members? Got mum and dad, but I haven’t seen them in years though. Bastard templars swooped me off to the circle when I was a kid, see?  Oh! And apparently the bloke who became Kirkwall’s champion is my cousin!  Ha! Small bloody world, huh? I bet the chanty are shitting their small clothes over 2 mages saving their ass--- Oohhh.... Jus .... Just scratch out that last bit...

10. Oh? What about pets? Unfortunately, we lost Barkspawn a few years back. Gotta say that was a bad day. We all ended up getting trashed at the keep and playing fetch while we cried. It was surprisingly soothing. Good news is I recently got, Gen. Blightballs! He’s a good boy. 

11. That’s 🆒 I guess, now tell me about something you don’t like. Spiders, morrigan, the blight, morrigan, caves, morrigan, the cold, too much heat, The fucking deeproads, morrigan, making decisions, walking, hills, bastard trees that don’t do poetry, most Templars, spells backfiring, stepping in dog shit, annnnnd cauliflower. He takes a sip of drink.  To be fair, morrigan ain’t all bad... She’s just a very special type of psycho. 

12. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?   Uuuuuhhhhhhh.... He looks totally confused and scratches his chin. You know what they don’t tell you when you join the wardens, apart from EVERYTHING?  No one ever mentions how becoming a warden will destroy life’s simple pleasures, like sleep for instance. I used to like a good kip, but now, not so bloody much. Imagine the most bloody weird cheese induced dream you’ve ever had and magnify that shit by infinity and you’re close to an average night.  Food is still good, so I guess eating? And playing with Blightballs, of course. 

13. Ever hurt anyone before? Can I count myself? Because if so, definitely. Regularly even. 

14. Ever… killed anyone before? Oh, probably. I don’t really pay much too much attention in fights if I’m honest.  I find if I don’t even know my own tactics, no enemy can find a weakness when they fight me either.

15. What kind of animal are you? A mabari! I’m strong, proud, cute, and I occasionally piss up against a wall. 

16. Name your worst habits. Personally, I’d say none, Nate doesn’t like it when I name my belly button lint , especially at dinner, but he can be a real bloody killjoy at times. 

17. Do you look up to anyone at all? Sten? I had to look up to him. He was a right big bugger. And Shale too. 

18. Gay, straight, or bisexual? I like to bury my head in breasts... So straight, i guess... But if men had boobs, I could be swayed... possibly. *nods*

19. Do you go to school? They shoved me in the circle who... Tried to teach us some stuff?

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day? I got a kid...Apparently... Morrigan buggered off through a mirror. Sigh. Then all of a sudden in MY fault for going missing! I’m not missing! I know exactly where I am!

21. Do you have any fanboys/fangirls? Hero. Of. Ferelden, dude. What do you think?  Of course, I haven’t let any of that go to my head... I was already handsome and charming. 

22. What are you most 😨 of? Pfftt. Blight spiders? Ghost wizards? Ghost spider wizards of blight? 

23. What do you usually wear? The same bloody thing I’ve been wearing for a decade now. So bored of mages armour. I suggested something a bit more fancy, but they others didn’t go for it. I guess I do love the shiny griffon though. I’ve named mine. 

24. Do you 💛 someone?  Yup.

25. When was the last time you wet yourself? What day is it today?

26. Well, it’s not over yet! Why do the good things in life never go on and on like this... *drags hands down his face.* 

27. What class are you? (High class, middle class, low class) I’m chaos class. Yeahhh. Take that. *folds arms and looks smug*

28. How many friends do you have? I dunno... I never counted them? Was... Was that required?

29. What are your thoughts on pie? Fuck - Yes. More pie! Pie for everyone! Hero of pie day! 

30. Favourite drink? Whatever that stuff that Anders and Oghren cooked up a few years back. We called it - The kick in the tit.  .... We were all still suffering the after images of the ‘mother’ and her many, MANY nipples. The name seemed fitting. 

31. What’s your favourite place? In a tavern, with ann ale in hand, in front of a fire, with my head shoved between a pair of boobs. 

32. Are you interested in someone? Huh? Sorry, I wasn’t listening. I was still back at the tavern...

33. What’s your bra cup size and/or how big is your willy? Huge and girthy of course! I’m a living legend. 

34. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean? None. I jumped the out the window a few times in the tower to avoid the pissed off Templars who I’d spent a week winding up, so I’m done swimming in sodding lakes for one lifetime!  And have you seen the ocean? Do you have ANY idea about what crazy shit live in there? Cause 10 years ago I’d have put money on the fact Big ass dragon didn’t live underground. But I’d have been wrong, and then I would have lost 20 silver to my fellow warden. ... What was the question, again?

35. What’s your type? When I was single? The ones who said yes.

36. Any fetishes? The thing with the pirate wench and Leliana was pretty much it. *happy sigh* It’s good to be me. 

37. Seme or uke? Top or Bottom? Dominant or Submissive? I do whatever Leliana wants, because I’m scared I won’t wake up the next morning otherwise. 

38. Camping or indoors? Indoors.  When I’m done on this trip I’m burning every sodding tent I ever see. I am DONE sleeping on the floor. 

39. Are you wanting the interview to end? Yes, I’ve eaten the free biscuits you gave me and I need a piss. Sorry - pee. 

40. Now it’s over! Great... Which way to the latrine? 

Tagging: @keeperscompanionsdai @dreadhobo @goldfishfiasco @sassylavellen @gugle1980 @fade-footprints @tessa1972 @john-cousland @ielmoe @inquisitorsmabari @long-liv-prairies