#child meals

[humanityinahandbag]

Eddie's April Fools joke would be him bringing Steve a baby that he's watching while he volunteers at the foster center (because kids aren't as judgemental as adults and he can actually do some good without getting nasty looks or whispers about satanism and murder behind his back).

He'd show up at Steve's door and hold out a wide eyed, rosy cheeked, somewhat confused baby like, "Steven, I know it's been a few months since our night of passion, but she's yours. I'm taking you for all you're worth!"

And it's such an obvious joke. Such an obvious prank. He'd just been taking this kid out for a walk and getting some fresh air.

But jokes on Eddie, because Steve wouldn't even think before lighting up, reaching out, and snatching the baby to his chest like oh aren't you so sweet, do you want to come inside? Yes you do!

Eddie tries to explain that it's a joke, but Steve just grabs his hand and squeezes it tight and the words die on his tongue.

"Bah phhhfp," said the baby, giving Eddie a look like, dude, you've got it bad.

Steve didn't drop his hand. His fingers were warm and strong against Eddie's. "Where'd you find her?"

"... foster?" Says Eddie. "I'm uh. I'm watching her?"

"And you brought her here?" Steve's eyes crinkled at the corners. His smile was sunshine.

Eddie opened his mouth. Closed it. Nodded. And then nearly fell backwards when Steve brought the hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

"Glooof," said the baby, staring at Eddie. You're an idiot if you don't make a move right now.

Thankfully, he didn't have to. Not when Steve was giving him a tug over the threshold.

"C'mon. Let's get you both inside. I think she needs to be changed. You got a diaper bag hiding somewhere under all that leather?"

It was meant to be a joke. It doesn't land as one. Because somewhere in Steve's head, the paternal switch is cheering, lit up so brightly. Free baby? And the person he liked brought him the baby?

Well. Then there's only one real solution to the problem.

(For Eddie, that solution hits him just as quickly. Especially when the guy he's been in love with since the sixth grade is holding a baby to his chest, shirt speckled in spitup and drool, making coffee the next morning, smiling across the kitchen at Eddie so softly and sweetly. Well. He was done for long ago. Might as well fall all the way.)

Ten years later, Eddie and Steve are sitting on a park bench watching their daughter April try to sacrifice her stuffed bunny on top of the jungle gym.

"You do realize that she was supposed to be a joke, right?" He'd say to Steve, a little teary eyed and so unbelievably happy.

"Jokes on you," Steve would reply easily. "Because I kept you both."

Jokes on him indeed.

[honeybubbletea33]

day 16! apologies for the readability of this lol, but i’m kinda proud of it :)

bonus under cut:

ink: what, like screaming your head off and stamping your foot never got you anything?

error: …touché.

[heybiji]

feral

[solargeist]

Can we pretty please get a Grian and Xelqua meet-up?? I love how you draw Xelqua and Grian and I just need to see what they would do if they meet......for science of course

wait hold on.. goes crazy .. I don’t have a design for Xelqua, that was just Grian earlier, but…. I think it’d go well

I think Xelqua is his patron, so he’d be excited to meet him !

but I was also playing with the idea that Little Grian here is a reincarnated version of Xelqua, but still looks up to him, prays to him, would want to be picked up and hugged by him, the safety of it. (How can he be reincarnated and still have a form here ? Well the divine can be a bit finicky)

[disaster-racing]

Screaming Meals - Long Beach 2.0 (x)

[childofsardior]

Mixology King 🍸

The kids love playing pranks on poor grandad Kamek

I'm having a lot of fun with the ✨ Summertime Series✨ u.u

[heybiji]

mad marlow

[bmoreisapunkrocktown]

"Children should be dragged kicking and screaming to school and the doctor's office and grandma's house and the park" is not and never will be a pro-child opinion.

If your kid doesn't want to go to school so much that they throw a temper tantrum and scream until they go hoarse, and your response is "shut up because you have to go" the problem is still you ignoring your kids needs and you're a shitty parent.

[s0phyy]

another victim

[monakisu]

p5 mementos thoughts

i know it's meant to be an adaptation of jung's collective unconscious shenanigans but i think it'd be SO Cool to imagine mementos as some sort of living creature...

it's an amalgamation meshed with tokyo's urban metropolis environment so you'd notice the familiar stuff first, like train tracks and stations, but staying long enough in mementos reveals that it's still very much alive. you're exploring its innards! the walls are fleshy and veiny and pulsate verrryyy slowly to the rhythm of breathing or heartbeats, the wandering shadows can be thought of as bacteria or protein, and the reaper's obviously the immune system kicking in with its very determined white blood cell gunning to eliminate you the virus!!

and i like to think that metaverse costumes not only serve Stamina and Style (the two essentials) but also sorta trick mementos into thinking you "belong" in its body—at the very least, you're not food anymore! like, if the world's luckiest unluckiest human managed to noclip into mementos and somehow avoided evisceration via shadows, imagine if the floors and walls have been secreting a subtle acid and by the time this human notices their sneakers corroding away and how moist and raw their palms have gotten, they finally realize that they've been caught in the process of digestion! but of course metaverse users are safe and sound from turning into a goopy gooey mess :]

i especially enjoy likening mementos to the tunnel in Coraline that connects the real world with the other world + the Mystery Flesh Pit National Park in Texas :D both are creatures so massive that they breach eldritch proportions, and you the human are sooo itty bitty you've basically only been wandering in a single blood vessel out of an entire circulation system! or something like that!!

[solargeist]

eating fruity pebbles rn and I feel like we should give Xelqua some fruity pebbles

fruity pebbles are so good man

Xelqua is pretty picky with food, i think he might like cereal, but not when it gets soggy, so its better for him to just eat it dry

[mac33cheese]

Something something Kubusai being kaidou's parents something something

[heybiji]

wrapped up the Halloween issue of our MASKS game with supermodel-turned-superhero Feral making fun of a team of teenage vigilantes doing their best

[luimagines]

Oh gosh. Feeding the chain modern food. I've actually thought about this a lot.

I think it's a fun idea to give them all these weird and new recipes/food items, but I also think it would probably make most of them sick

Like, (speaking as an American) so much food is processed. Even some of the stuff you think you're getting healthy has been processed or is riddled with additives/pesticides/gmo's

So just. unadulterated junk food? On boys that have never in their lives eaten anything but the cleanest, as organic as it gets, nutritional meals? McDonald's? Some sour candy? I wouldn't be surprised if they puked it up

(I can just imagine Wind or Wild wanting to try some of Reader's "weird" food so badly, and then getting immediately sick. The chain then regards them as having an iron stomach for all the weird stuff they eat without batting an eye.

...maybe not Wild though actually. He eats rocks.)

Don't even get me started on the nutritional adaptation. Like a reader that doesn't ever eat fruits/veggies/drink water?? They'd wonder how they're alive 😭😭

Hyrule and Wild are the only ones who can stomach it.

Twilight and Warrior are wiling to try even if they get stomach aches afterwards. Twilight drinks chuchu jelly. So I'm sure he'd fine in the end. And I'm willing to bet that Warrior had to et some weird things during the war when ration ran low so he can tough it out.

Legend can go one of two ways. He can either tolerate like no big deal or he's taken out of commission for the week. There's no in-between. He's traveled a lot so I'm sure he's been exposed to a lot of different things and can thus handle more- but it's a Russian Roulette of what can take and can't take.

Wind and Four don't last long. They eat bologna and are out for the rest of the day with tummy aches.

Don't even try with Time or Sky. They're the most sensitive. I'm willing to bet the smell alone can make them feel sick.

[aeriondripflame]

viserys iii being the youngest son, second son, eldest daughter and single mother all at once. viserys who was quarantined as a young child with only his mother as company. viserys who believed the lies fed to a child about his father. viserys who could never live up to rhaegar’s example. viserys who taught daenerys about what they left behind. viserys who called her dany. viserys who raised his sister as his own. viserys who sold their mother’s crown to keep them fed. viserys who was ridiculed, who had to beg to survive, who had to protect himself and his sister from assassins while he was still a child. viserys who could never look forward, who was always looking back.

[grelleapologist]

It is literally so depressing when you find somebody has an amazing art related to BB and you go to search their profile, you search Sebaciel.. and you see either reposts or art they made.

I just want to like the cool doodlies but I can't because they're fetishizing a small child and a big demon man that also nearly to the t, resembles his father-