#childhood innocence disappears so quickly

[sadowlswriting]

I sat alone at that party, on a chair that was the dog's, the blanket was covered in fur, but the dog was curled up on the floor.

There was a spider on the ceiling, and someone used my boot to kill it, and at the time I didn't realise, but thinking back now, I hoped my shoe didn't smell.

There was this girl there, who I'd never met before, yet everyone else knew her from school; I ate a crisp from between her chest and we took pictures that I don't think I have anymore.

We drank WKD and strongbow, filled plastic shotglasses with it and pretended we were somewhere else, or somebody else.

I was the first one to jump over the fence of a locked park, and we pushed each other on the swings; someone got stuck on the climbing frame.

Someone cried for nearly an hour, they were afraid we'd never see each other again; someone comforted them, reassuring them that it wouldn't happen, that we'd schedule dates to meet and hang out.

It would have been nice to believe the things they said as they held them, but as I write and remember, it's hard to deny that they were right.

The person that was afraid we'd never see each other again, is nowhere to be seen anymore.

I went home, carrying a box of leftover pizza, and with the knowledge that I'd never know who anyone at that party would become.

-Owl.

[hyunverse]

wherever you are ☆ hwang hyunjin.

hyunjin x fem!reader. childhood best friends to lovers. slowburn, pining. fluff, angst. suggestive. a hyunjin birthday special.

wc: 12.9k words.

warnings: reader often referred to as "girl," suggestive. mentions of sex.

note: this fic is my baby. it might be one of my favourite things i've ever written so far, please treat it well <3 feedbacks are very much appreciated.

playlist.

Hyunjin promised you that he'll be wherever you are. What do you do when your best friend of years — the only person you've ever loved disappears without saying goodbye? Especially when you've spent your entire life with Hyunjin, you didn't know of life without him.

one.

“Happy Birthday, Hyunjin.”

It was Hyunjin’s 10th birthday. 

Despite already singing him a happy birthday song, you muttered the wish once again in the comfort of his tree house. He sat adjacent to you, feet dangling over the platform, the large leaves hovering over the tree house’s roof providing shelter from the blinding sunlight. 

He hummed in gratitude, eyes busy watching Kkami running around below the tree house. Afternoons with Hyunjin were often spent like this — hanging out in the tree house as Kkami played around on the grass, its barks mirroring its happiness. For years, you’ve spent enjoying the fact that your afternoons were spent like this — were spent with Hyunjin, in childish innocence. 

After letting the silence take over for a while, Hyunjin turned his head towards you, a little surprised once he saw that you were already looking at him. He tried his best to not let his surprise show. 

“Why did you want to come up here? I thought you were enjoying the party inside.” 

Indeed, you were enjoying the birthday party, a little too much for Hyunjin’s liking. The boys from Hyunjin’s school came to the party, and you seemed to get along with them quickly, despite being the only girl at the party. Hyunjin hates to admit it but he was a little envious. He told himself that he’s jealous because he’s your number one best friend, so you should pay more attention to him. It was true, but only partially — he was jealous because they were all boys. Not that he would ever admit that to himself.

To Hyunjin’s question, you responded by extending your arms to him, revealing a white box in your palm. He took it, quickly recognizing it as a jewellery box. He’s received one of them after purchasing a Mother’s Day gift. Quietly, he examined the engravings on the box, and the pristine look of it. Honestly, he was impressed by how clean you have kept it. You had always been one to dirty your white clothes. 

“What’s this?” he asked, answering his own enquiry by opening the box with you sitting close, peering over his hands.

Hyunjin’s heart skipped a beat.

In the box laid two necklaces, black strings with Lego pieces as pendants. They were matching necklaces. The Lego piece of each necklace formed a heart when joined together. His brown eyes widened, in disbelief of the gift. He’s never received something like this — something matching. It made his heart flutter — no, it beat faster than it does while playing soccer. Hyunjin turned to look into your eyes, and it was as though he had found a new revelation in yours. The more Hyunjin looked at you, the more the realization seeped in, until it overtook his senses.

You’re a girl. 

You weren’t just the kid from next door, you weren’t like his other friends — you’re a girl. You like Disney princesses, you have a pretty face, you like Sanrio characters, you have soft hair, you like painting nails, you have pink lips from your strawberry lip balm, you like matching necklaces — you’re a girl. 

A very pretty girl.

It felt like a revelation after having been friends with you for over five years. As though the necklaces in the box held some sort of power to snap one from a trance. Hyunjin realized that you were different from his other friends. For one, you have softer hands. Moreover, you’re someone he can develop a crush on — or whatever girls call it. 

His finger traced the pendants, feeling the bumps of the Lego pieces. He smiled, one that reached his ears. You felt yourself releasing the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. 

“I love it soooo much. Thank you.”

Unlike other boys (the stinky ones from your school), Hyunjin didn’t cringe at the gift. The way he gently examined the necklaces mirrored the appreciation he felt towards it. If he was any other boy, he would’ve probably laughed at the gift, then poked fun at you. 

Then again, Hyunjin had never been like the other boys you knew.

He was different in the way he spoke softly to you (softer than he would to his guy friends), and how he would let you change the TV channel from Snoopy to Totally Spies. He had always been different, that being the reason why you were so fond of him. 

“You like it? Really?” you queried, staring at him. You watched his expressions carefully, trying to sense for any lies.

“Really! Which one do you want?” he answered, absolutely no hesitations. He wasn’t lying.

Hyunjin panned the box towards you, prompting you to pick which necklace. One was in black, the other in white. As always, he gave in to you, letting you be the one to choose. 

“White!”

The sun was setting when you both swayed your legs, wearing the matching necklaces. Hyunjin was genuinely happy, one of his hands wouldn’t stop fiddling with the pendant. The party was still lively inside, but he much preferred sitting with you — his one and only best friend. 

“Yn,” your best friend’s voice broke you from your trance. “What do you want for your birthday?” 

“Hm,” you pondered, tapping your pointer on your chin in a cartoonish manner.

He was looking at you, an expectant expression on his face. You pulled up your legs to cross them as you thought. 

“I think…” your voice trailed, “I want to be the best ballerina in the world and move to Paris!” 

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “at least make it something I could give you!”

You pouted, “but that’s what I want!” 

The boy sighed, laying back on the rough surface of the tree house. He looked up, observing the little glow-in-the-dark stars plastered onto the tree house ceiling. He recalled putting them up with you. You were impossible to deal with. Hyunjin desperately wanted to know your wish — something he could give you for your birthday. Your gift to him made him really happy, and he wished to return the favour. 

“Then, I’ll be the best artist in the world and move to Paris with you.” 

It was such an innocent, child-like answer — straight from a 10-year-old’s desire. Untainted by the boulevard of broken dreams. As if anything in the world was possible, and that the universe was kind all the time. 

“Really?” you chirped, looking at him with disbelief in your eyes. You giggled in glee and plopped yourself down beside him. “Really really? You really really really mean it, Hyunnie?” 

At that point, Hyunjin could only giggle and nod. “Of course! I’ll be wherever you are.”

The manner in which you hugged him expressed your excitement. You were practically suffocating him, wrapping your legs around his waist and squeezing tightly. 

“You’re my best friend in the world!” 

Hyunjin felt like he could die. 

His heart continued beating rapidly, worsened by you nuzzling your face into his neck. Hyunjin knew, it was just you being your usual self. However, the revelation he experienced minutes earlier made the tips of his ears turn red. 

“Hyunjin! Come down here! Your friends are about to leave!”

At that very moment, Hyunjin silently thanked his mother for saving him.

two.    

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

A question which had you staring into space — the walls of Hyunjin’s bedroom for a while. The blue walls were plastered with posters of numerous musicians and self-made artworks.

It wasn’t that you didn’t know the answer. You knew. Ballet had been a part of your life since small, it was your everything. It wasn’t that you were unsure if you wanted to do ballet, you were unsure if you should be doing ballet. 

Uneasiness settled into your stomach, but you tried to keep them in. You were in no mood to be going through an identity crisis.

“Ballerina,” you stated, matter-of-factly. Your eyebrows furrowed when Hyunjin chuckled.

“What?”

“Your answer hasn’t changed,” Hyunjin laughed, but not in a humorous way. Rather, it was in an expectant way, as if he knew that’s what you would answer. 

You straightened your posture and tilted your head. Hyunjin laughed even more, making a comment that you looked like Kkami.

“Have you asked me the same thing before?”

He nodded, “sort of? Kind of. On my tenth birthday, I asked you what you wanted.” Hyunjin cleared his throat and took a deep breath, mimicking the voice of younger you. “I want to be the best ballerina in the world and move to Paris!”

“Oh, shut up!” you rumbled, hitting him with his bolster repeatedly. “That’s not how I sounded like!”

“It so was!” 

Truthfully, you couldn’t quite recall the memory. You didn’t doubt Hyunjin though, it did sound like something you would’ve said. 

You queried again.

“What did you answer then?” 

Hyunjin turned silent. He didn’t like where this was going, not fond of recalling the cheesy answer he gave you. As he looked away from your gaze, you pressed him further. Even threatened to dog-nap Kkami.

“Fine. I said… I said I’ll be the best artist in the world and move to Paris too…” his voice trailed, getting smaller, “said I’ll be wherever you are…”

Your eyebrows raised, scooting closer to him in mock confusion. “Sorry? Didn’t hear you.” 

A pillow hit your head, and you burst out into peals of laughter. It was hilarious, the cheesy answer little Hyunjin gave, but what amused you even more was his face turning red. 

Touches of laughter echoed in the room, and Hyunjin found himself praying the moment would last forever. The conversation quickly escalated into a pillow fight, ending up in Hyunjin leaning against his headboard, exhausted, and you laying on his lap. 

You looked up at him, eyes fleeting to the stubble growing. Mindlessly, you grazed his cheek, feeling his sideburns prickling against your thumb. 

He was growing, you realized it then. You were growing too. Neither of you were little kids anymore.

A fact you didn't want to accept.

It’s the softness of your fingers that froze Hyunjin in his tracks. He held his breath, as if you would stop if he moved. He didn’t want you to, wanted to let your fingers linger, to etch the sensation into his memories. 

In a soft tone, you spoke, “Did you really mean it?”

“Hm?”

“Would you be wherever I am?”

Hyunjin’s breath hitched, a lump growing in his throat. If he spoke, he feared his feelings would become too real. For as long as he could, he wanted to bury his feelings deep down. Life was already risky as it is, he didn’t want to take any more.

It’s platonic. It’s platonic. It’s platonic.

They repeated in his brain like a mantra. Maybe if he chanted it, it’ll manifest to life.

“Yeah,” Hyunjin swallowed, “of course I will. You’re my best friend.” 

Like magic, your worries about the future disappeared into thin air. Would it be foolish to trust Hyunjin so much, that you believed life would be fine as long as he was with you? 

Dear universe, be good to me.

You smiled, one that Hyunjin swore could light up the entire sky. The stars must envy you, for the way you could brighten up darkness effortlessly. 

“I’ll be wherever you are too.”

Yeah, Hyunjin would love it if time froze.

three.  

Don’t be a coward. 

Four words Hyunjin told his reflection as he got ready. He was dressed in a basic tee and a pair of jeans, hair slicked back like the one time you told him it looked good. He spritzed his cologne behind his ears, on his neck, and on his wrist before repeating the four words again. This time, he whispered it, letting it soak into his brain, in hopes his heart would have courage. 

It’s been too long. The feelings he harboured for you piled overtime, the crush he once thought was temporary transforming into fondness. It was becoming too much for Hyunjin’s heart to bear, he needed to let it out. If he didn’t, he felt like his heart could burst. And if it did, it would be confetti-shaped memories of you. 

Chatters echoed outside your ballet academy, Hyunjin watched through the lowered window for your face among the sea of people. He had a plan in mind — he’d open the door for you, put the seatbelt on for you, and tell you about his feelings. In front of your academy wasn’t the most ideal place for a confession, he knew, but God — he couldn’t bear sitting in silence with you as a storm raged in his head. He couldn’t do it. He wanted to say it as soon as he could. 

Hyunjin’s eyes were still busy looking for you when suddenly, your face came in his peripheral vision, along with another face. The other person was lean, jet black hair with bangs and puppy-like eyes. The boy opened the door for you before Hyunjin could. 

Okay, step number one failed. 

“Hey, Hyunnie!” your voice chirped, getting into the car. Your hand moved to buckle your seatbelt before Hyunjin could. He was too busy analysing the stranger in front of the door.

“Hey,” Hyunjin replied nonchalantly, looking at the boy from head to toe. “And this is…?”

“Seungmin. And you?” the boy said, tilting his head. To Hyunjin, he was being challenged. Seungmin’s tone was more daring than he liked, so he felt an urge to one-up the guy.

“Hyunjin. Been friends with Yn since were in diapers.” he replied, the extra detail a pathetic attempt at one-upping Seungmin. 

Seungmin furrowed his eyebrows, nodding as he shut your door, “Uh. Cool? Bye, Yn. And the friend since diapers.” 

Oh, Hyunjin really didn’t like him. 

“Wait, Seungminnie!” you called out just as Seungmin was walking away. He looked back at the car, raising an eyebrow. You turned to Hyunjin with puppy eyes. “Can you give Seungminnie a ride? He takes the bus and I think the next one’s in an hour.”

Hyunjin clenched his jaw, eyes fluttering from your pleading eyes to Seungmin’s figure outside the car. If it was all up to him, he would probably run the guy over. But God knew how much he cherished you, how he would rather cut his tongue than tell you “no,” so he agreed.

“Mm. Sure,” he replied, swallowing back a scoff. 

Your eyes brightened, “Seungminnie! Come, we’ll give you a ride!” you yelled, tempting Hyunjin to mock the nickname you’d given him.

It was going to be a car ride straight out of hell. 

Hyunjin’s knuckles were white against the steering as he pulled up to Seungmin’s residence complex. The building standing in front of him definitely belonged in a gated community, ritzy and luxurious. Somehow, that pissed Hyunjin off even more. He glanced at the unwanted guest sitting in the back seat through the rear-view mirror.

“Want me to drive you to the lobby, or what?”

Seungmin looked back into the mirror, peering at the reflection through his bangs. “Nah. They don’t let random cars in. Here’s just fine,” he mumbled, unbuckling the seatbelt. “Thanks, dude. Appreciate it.” 

The car door closed behind Seungmin, leaving the two of you in the car. Hyunjin sighed, feeling the nerves creeping up him again. Now that it was only the two of you, it was time for Hyunjin to confess his feelings.

Before he could, you spoke, “Seungmin’s my friend in the academy. He’s really smart,” your eyes didn’t leave the crossroad before you, watching as Seungmin walked. 

Hyunjin had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He tapped on your thigh, trying to gain your attention. It worked as you looked at him, batting your eyelashes. “Hm?”

He licked his lower lip, mustering all the courage in him. It was now, or never. “Look, I have something to tell you.” 

“Yeah?”

You shuffled in your seat, tilting your body slightly towards his way. Now that you had your full attention on him, Hyunjin felt even more nervous. He scratched the skin around his thumb, tongue-tied as his brain tried to form coherent words. He’s never done this before, always made fun of his friends for struggling to express their feelings but now that he was in the same place, he wished he could take back all the insults. The brown eyes looking deeply (and anxiously) into yours were profusely blinking, as though he was at the brink of tears. You grew worried.

“Hyunjin, what’s up?”

He scratched at the back of his neck. Why did his tongue feel so numb? Why did his brain feel empty yet so full at the same time? His heartbeats were so fast, he couldn’t quite catch up. Hyunjin was on a rollercoaster — you were waiting at the end of the ride.

Finally, he managed to muster words. “Look, I’ve pondered over —”

Two knocks on the window at the back. They’re followed by the door opening, an exasperated Seungmin popping his head into the car. Immediately, you both looked back, utterly bewildered. 

“Sorry. I left my bag. Thank God you’re still here,” Seungmin said, grabbing his messenger bag and slipping it onto his shoulder. “Thanks and sorry!”

The door closed, thus silence blanketed the atmosphere once again. This time, with unresolved tension. You looked back at Hyunjin, tilting your head in curiosity.

“You were saying?” 

Dazed, the raven looked at you. His face was a mixture of exasperation and confusion. His head? There was a storm raging, along with curse words aimed at Seungmin. 

“Um…” He licked his lower lip, racking his brain to find back the words he wanted to say. They were all lost. He was already at the end of the rollercoaster, the bumps along the way forgotten, and the thrill subsided. All that’s left was the remnants of anxiety. He couldn’t do it anymore, not when he’s forgotten the things he wanted to say, and the moment disturbed by your dear friend Seungmin.

So, he put the gear on to drive. He shook his head and made up a white lie.

“I think I want to try a new ice cream place today.”

four.  

The taste of cookies and cream could not beat the bitterness on Hyunjin’s tongue. 

It may be because the bitterness has seeped into his head. 

“I’m going to your room,” you announced, swinging the front door of his house open. “Hi, Mrs Hwang!” you cheered, running up the stairs after. 

“I’m going to talk to my mom a little bit,” Hyunjin said, hanging both your coats on the coat hanger. 

Nothing could’ve prepared Hyunjin for what was to happen next. 

Both his parents were crowding the kitchen countertop when he walked in, skimming through a piece of paper. They were beaming, eyes crinkled as they smiled. A reminder that Hyunjin resembled both his parents. He blinked in confusion as to why his parents looked so happy. He didn’t think he'd seen them this happy before.

“What’s going on?” he questioned, peering over their figures to look at the paper. 

On the paper were words he’d only seen in his dreams. Never in a million years he would’ve thought it’d manifest to life. His heart skipped a beat as he read the words over, and over. 

“You made it, sweetheart,” his mother’s soft voice spoke, confirming his suspicion. “You got accepted. Beaux-Arts de Paris.”

“Eomma,” he mumbled, as if he was pleading. Pleading for this dream to stop. Somebody’s got to wake him up from this nightmare of a day. “There’s no way.” 

Hyunjin picked up the letter, inspecting it closer. As though if he looked any closer, the words on the pristine white paper would change. Reject him. Or maybe, the logo of the prestigious school would magically transform into a logo of a school in Seoul. Anything, anything, that would keep him here. In Seoul. With you. 

“You did it, sweetheart. Your dreams are coming true,” his mother keenly said, pulling him into a side hug. “I’m so proud of you.”

His dream? It was his dream, and, yours. No, scratch that — it wasn’t truly his dream. It was yours. His dream had always been to be wherever you are. 

He didn’t think he would be accepted. When you told him you were rejected from the Paris Ballet School, he told you that he was rejected, too. He didn’t tell you that he was waitlisted, under the impression that he was never getting out of the waitlist. What was he to tell you now? 

Hyunjin hid his sadness, wanting to make his parents proud, “Yeah. I did it. I’m so happy, eomma, appa.” 

A series of praises left his parents, and he allowed for them to engulf him in a hug. 

“Don’t tell Yn, ‘kay?” he muttered, before excusing himself to go upstairs. The acceptance letter was neatly folded, tucked into his pocket.  

When he swung his bedroom door open, you were standing in front of his full-length mirror. Clad in only his t-shirt, you inspected yourself. 

“Hey, Hwang Hyunjin,” you muttered, turning your body. “Your clothes are bigger than me now. You used to be so small.”

You looked at him, mock dismay in your face. “I was so much taller than you before. You were a dwarf.” 

How was he meant to tell you about Paris?

“I was never a dwarf. You were just too busy looking down on me.”

Giggles left both of you. Silently, he observed the way you were examining yourself. You had the mannerisms of a ballerina, each gesture as gracious as your dance. Hyunjin adored the curves of your body, but God knew he loved that of your smile even more. 

Later, you were both laying on his bed, you in a starfish position. Hyunjin was at the edge of his bed, trying his best to not fall. 

“Ballet was so hard today,” you sighed. You turned your body sideways, burying your face into Hyunjin’s chest. He could smell you in this closeness.

“Are you wearing my deodorant?” he queried, bowing to clasp his nose onto your shoulder. It felt like a kiss to him. “This is literally the smell of my deodorant.” 

You shrugged. “Yeah? What about it? You should’ve gotten used to me taking your things by now, Hwang Hyunjin. I’ve been doing this our whole lives.” 

Touché. The boy sighed, letting you fill in the silence with your babbles. Wordlessly, he listened to your words, letting it be the white noise to his thoughts. 

His head was clearly not there. Unbeknownst to him, you knew of this. He’d been off all day. You’ve picked up on each signal, knowing him like the back of your hand. As much as you wanted to know what was wrong, you knew not to pry. You resorted to comfort instead. 

Your fingertips met at the back of his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. He was never one for physical touch but sometimes, it helped. You leaned your head into his neck. 

Gingerly, you whispered the words you thought he would need. 

“You’re always here, around me. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

The exact words he did not need to hear that day.

How was he meant to tell you of his feelings now? 

Especially when he was leaving — oceans away. 

five.  

Hyunjin had always loved soccer.

Whether it be being in the bleachers, or playing in the field. He loved doing both. There was something about the thrill of watching people play, and the adrenaline as he chased around the field. 

Sitting in the bleachers, Hyunjin watched as his soccer team played. The sounds of his teammates laughing made the blazing sun a little more bearable. He lowered his cap to prevent the sunlight from getting in his eyes, chuckling when he saw Beomgyu falling face-first onto the grass.

He loved his soccer team. Every time he observed them play, Hyunjin’s heart always got overwhelmed with pride and joy. At that moment, he felt melancholy taking space too — the thought of not being able to play with them anymore hurting him more than he thought it would. 

Hyunjin allowed for the melancholy to take space, allowed himself to feel — so much so that he didn’t feel Minho’s presence. Not until the older cleared his throat. 

Minho sat beside him, “Why the long face, Hwang Hyunjin?” 

“Huh?” startled, he looked up, face softening when he saw Minho. “Oh. Nothing. You’re not playing?”

“Nah,” Minho replied curtly. He silently analyzed the younger’s facial expressions before speaking up again. “For someone who’s going to Paris in two weeks, you sure don’t look too happy.”

Of course, Minho out of all people would notice the change in his mannerisms. Always the analyzing one, quick to notice changes in demeanour. There was no point in lying, not with Minho — so he let out the sigh he didn’t realize he was holding. 

“It’s bittersweet, you know?” he mumbled, fiddling with his fingers.

“It’s Yn, isn’t it?” 

“Huh?”

“You don’t want to part ways with her. It’s what’s holding you back.” 

Right on. It was as though Minho was a mind-reader. A heavy weight pulled on Hyunjin’s heartstrings, made his heart even heavier than a few minutes prior.

“Yeah,” he didn’t lie, again. He looked at Minho, and the older could clearly see the uneasiness written all over his face. “If you were me… would you tell her about your feelings?”

“The fact that you like her?”

“Yeah.”

Minho fell silent. He pondered over the question, looking at the sight before him. The sun was setting, orange hues painting the sky. Hyunjin wondered if Paris sunsets would look the same.

“I think…” Minho turned towards the younger. He shook his head. “I wouldn’t tell her.” 

“Why?”

“Won’t benefit you, I don’t think.” Hyunjin raised an eyebrow. “Listen. If you were to tell her, and she accepted, do you think you could get into a relationship with her?”

“I mean —”

Minho cut him, “Realistically, do you think the relationship would succeed? I mean, the time zone between Seoul and Paris is pretty big. The distance, too. I don’t think it would work out. And that’ll be bad, you know? You’ll both be left wondering what could have been.”

The truth hurt. The distance, the time — none of them were on Hyunjin’s side. 

“And, if, God forbid, if she were to reject you… do you really want your last memory with her to be the hurt you’ll feel?”

Hyunjin shook his head. The other sighed, and patted him on the back. 

“There are things better left unsaid. You should take her out. Spend your last time with her nicely.”

Despite Hyunjin’s stubbornness, he took Minho’s advice. It took him a lot of contemplating (and crying), but he followed it anyway. Whether he liked it or not, Minho’s advice had a lot of truth in it. 

Bitter truths, but true regardless.

six.

“Where are we going?” you whined, trailing behind your dear friend. The sun was setting in two hours, orange hues were beginning to paint the sky. “Hyunnie, if you don’t tell me where we’re —”

“Please, stay patient. Will you?”

Hyunjin looked behind. He was wearing a blue knitted vest. In one hand, he held a picnic basket. The other, is your handbag. You never have to carry your own with him.

“But we’re literally in the middle of nowhere!” 

“Please just trust me,” he pleaded. One hand was stretched towards you, a silent offer to hold his. “Come. If you’re too tired, I’ll give you a piggyback ride.”

Ever the opportunist, you took up on the offer. Alas, Hyunjin was left walking the remaining distance, you happily singing road trip songs while clinging onto his back. To butter him up, you told him that he must’ve been a blessing sent to you by God. Although he groaned at the remark, you couldn’t see the small smile on his face.

After a few minutes, you understood why Hyunjin was adamant about going out that day. Before you, green plains stretched as far as your eyes could see. Scattered across viridian shades were wildflowers. Some yellow, some pink. 

Hyunjin had brought you to a flower field.

The picnic basket, and the Polaroid camera finally made sense. 

Without any more words, you jumped off his back and ran into the field. The yellow sundress you wore matched that of the wildflowers. In Hyunjin’s eyes, you blended right in. 

You were as pretty as the flowers. 

“Careful, Yn! Don’t fall!” He called out, his voice echoing in the space. He watched you from afar. There was an urge to run among the flowers too, but he was much more content with watching you. 

From a distance, in silence, he observed your every move. He couldn’t help the giggles that left his lips. The smile that lingered on his lips. He wanted this memory to last, to be ingrained in his brain forever. Soon, he wouldn’t be able to witness your happiness. 

“Hyunnie, you need to come here! It’s so nice!”

Chuckling, he carefully placed the picnic basket on the ground. Hyunjin was done with setting up the picnic spot. He ran towards you, lifted you off the ground and twirled you around. You broke out into giggles and held onto his arms. 

Among the flowers, two silhouettes danced with each other. Swaying to the same melody as the peonies. Despite being a ballerina, you kept stumbling onto Hyunjin’s feet, giggling each time he elicited an “ow.” 

Like a scene from a movie.

Like he wasn’t going away soon.

Before the sun could set, Hyunjin convinced you to sit on the picnic blanket. He wished to dance with you longer, but alas, time awaits for no mortal. 

“How do you want me to pose?” you asked. You were facing him, legs tucked sideways.

Hyunjin scooted closer to you, and wiped breadcrumbs off your lips. He commented on you eating messily. “You can pose however you want.”

You nodded, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Okay. Make sure you get my good angles, yeah?”

“You look good from any angle.” 

Crimson crept up your face. You hadn’t expected that remark. You hoped he wouldn’t see you blush, you would just tell him it’s the sun then. 

“Okay…”

Two clicks, then a flash went off. Your eyes widened, caught off-guard.

“You didn’t even count to three!” 

Your whines were responded to with a giggle. The camera whirled, apprising you of a Polaroid developing. Hyunjin took it, fanning the Polaroid with a grin. He was excited to see it.

“I wasn’t ready!”

“Candid photos are better,” he sighed. “Don’t you know? Everything’s prettier when it’s genuine.”

“So you’re calling me pretty?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “Have I ever said you’re ugly?”

Right. He has never. 

You prayed to God the heat on your face was from the sun and not from blushing.

Once the Polaroid fully developed, Hyunjin made sure he was the first to see it. To your dismay, he held it close to his face, shielding it from you. His cheeks dimpled, illustrating his happiness. You looked so pretty, the sunlight on your face giving you an angelic glow. If he looked closer, he was sure he’d see a halo. 

Hyunjin wanted to keep this forever. 

If he couldn’t freeze the time, he figured he’d trap the memories in photographs.

“Let me see!” you whined. “It’s a picture of me! I have the right to see it.”

Scampering towards him, you waved your hands, trying to get the photograph off his hand. To no avail, Hyunjin had quick reflexes much thanks to his soccer experience. 

“No! You can’t — it’s for my eyes only!”

“Ridiculous! That’s my face, Hyunnie!”

“It’s my camera film. So it’s mine!”

Neither one of you would let up, legs entangling against each other as you fought over the photograph. He was determined to not let you even see the picture. One of your palms pressed against the picnic blanket, the other reaching up towards his hand. Hyunjin used his free hand to push you gently but alas, he underestimated his own strength. In one swift move, you lost your balance, toppling over him. 

“Ow,” he fell back and winced in pain. He looked up, and all the back pain was suddenly replaced by shyness. There you were, on his lap — face just as flushed as his. 

Hyunjin didn’t know what to do now. 

Pathetically, he just stared into your eyes, finding himself getting caught in them. He could feel your hitched breaths against his chest, he was very aware of your trembling fingers on his arms. There was a strong urge to kiss you as his eyes fell onto your lips. He wondered how they’d feel on his lips. He imagined it in his head — missing the way your eyes stared at his lips too. 

If you were a flower, Hyunjin would be a bee. He desired you, eyes tracing the shape of your lips. Over, and over. If he kissed you, would your lips taste like honey? 

He ought to find out. Hesitantly, he inched his head closer to yours. The warmth of your breath against his skin marked the closeness between you.

Numerous scenarios flashed in Hyunjin’s mind. Of him kissing you senseless, then whispering a love confession in your ear. Of your cold fingers pressing into his skin as he tells you each perk of yours that he loved endlessly. The more he imagined, the closer he was. You shut your eyes, waiting for his lips to finally press onto yours. 

Paris. The one-way plane ticket to Paris.

Against his heart’s desire, his fingers cupped your chin instead. Subtly, he pulled back, eyes trailing back up to your eyes. He ignored the look of confusion in your eyes.

Reaching down, he pocketed the photograph. His heart clenched as he spoke, but he did anyway. 

“I win.”

The two words pulled you from your trance — they tore off your heart like paper. You blinked, watching the playful smirk that graced Hyunjin’s porcelain face. 

“Oh.”

The whole journey home, bitterness sat on Hyunjin’s tongue like the aftertaste of tangerine pulp. Did you want the kiss too, or had his libido fabricated things? 

Nevertheless, he couldn’t kiss you. Not when he had suitcases packed for Beaux-Art de Paris. Not when it’s all his parents could talk about. 

Minho’s words played in Hyunjin’s mind like a broken record. They served as a reminder of what could not be. For the sake of his heart, he told himself that it had all been a figment of his imagination.

Tension cloaked the front door of your house. Neither of you made a noise, save for the jingling keys in your carabiner. You observed Hyunjin, who was busy looking at his shoes. Once again, his mind wasn’t in his head. It had been that way for a few weeks. 

“See you soon?” you mumbled. 

Hyunjin looked up, nodding at your words. He pulled you into a hug, one that almost crushed your bones. Shakingly, he nuzzled his head into your neck, burying his face into the skin like you would dissolve if he didn't. It must’ve hurt his back but you made no comment, instead you wrapped your arms around his neck, in hopes it'll give him solace. By the front door you held him, so tight that it was as though the two of you were one, the curves of his fingers burning through your skin.

You didn’t know that it was a goodbye. It had to stay that way. 

Once more, his heart clenched in his chest. Two hands cupped your cheeks, as gentle as he could be, like you would break. He engraved this version of you into his memory — kind eyes boring into his with a soft smile plastered across the face he'd grown to adore. He vowed to always remember this face. 

Deeply, he inhaled his breath. Preparing the next words — lies to say to you, no matter how tight his chest felt.

“Yeah, see you soon.”

The last words Hwang Hyunjin muttered to you. 

seven.  

One day before your birthday. 

It had been two days since Hyunjin brought you to the meadow. You hadn’t seen him much, just glimpses of him as he played around with Kkami in his backyard. You figured that he was busy.

“Hello, I’m home!” you said in a sing-song voice as you stepped into the Hwang household. Kkami who’d usually greet you wasn’t in his usual spot, so you trudged straight to the kitchen, where Hyunjin’s mother was sitting. “Hi, Mrs Hwang.” 

She looked up, lips twitching into a smile, a cookie-cutter of Hyunjin’s. Under the kitchen light, you don’t miss the dried tears by her eyes. You pursed your lips, wondering if she was watching a sad drama. Hyunjin inherited his trait of easily crying from his mother, after all. 

“Hi, sweet girl,” she looked at your outfit from head to toe. “Why are you all dressed up?”

“Oh,” you muttered, giving her a little twirl. “My birthday outfit! Is it pretty?”

“Of course.”

You smiled at her, fiddling with the hem of your blouse. Keenly, you looked around the kitchen for any traces of Hyunjin. You realized that the house seemed much quieter than usual, emptier than normal. 

“Where’s Hyunjin?” you asked. The reason why you’d come over was to show your best friend your birthday outfit. Now that you were there, he was nowhere to be seen. “Is he home?”

Sympathy materialized in the mother’s old eyes. She tilted her head at you, lips pursing as she thought of the correct words to say. 

“My girl, did he not tell you?”

Confusion would be an understatement. Hyunjin told you everything, everything — from pointless thoughts to his deepest, darkest secrets. You were his secret keeper, his companion — there was nothing he wouldn’t tell you.

Was there? 

It had to be something unimportant, right? Perhaps he was off to an art workshop and forgot to tell you. But looking at his mother, it felt like something big. You grew anxious under her sympathetic gaze. 

“Tell me what?” you questioned, letting out a nervous chuckle.

“We just came back from Incheon Airport. He’s on a plane to Paris,” the lady replied. She stood up, inching closer towards your trembling figure. “Did he not tell you, Yn? I thought he did.”

“Paris?” you asked, blinking. “Like. For a vacation?”

“No, sweetheart. Beaux-Arts de Paris. He got into the school.”

The words felt like bullets on skin, penetrating and chagrining you deeply. It felt unreal — a hoax.

You scoffed, “What? He wouldn’t go without telling me.” Your eyes searched for humour in his mother’s eyes. “Is this like, a birthday prank?”

Her eyes saddened even more. “No, sweetheart. He really went.”

Another betrayal came in the form of tears cascading down your eyes without warning. The emotions hit you faster than your brain could process things. Speechless, you took steps back from his mother, before running up the staircase to his room. 

He had to be there. Sitting in his swivel chair and laughing at your face. He’ll tell you it was a prank and wipe away your tears. 

Hyunjin was your best friend of a lifetime. He wouldn’t do this to you. He had to be there.

When the door to his room swung open, a sob was knocked out of your mouth. 

All traces of life in the bedroom were gone, save for the soft purrs of Kkami sleeping on the bed. The bed was stripped of its bedsheets, and the towels hanging behind the door were gone. The laundry bag was empty. 

All traces of Hyunjin were gone. 

The realization hit harder than his mother’s words. If the words hurt like bullets on skin, the sight of Hyunjin’s lifeless room felt like a knife twisted in your gut. It felt like sanguine dripping from wounds, and Hyunjin’s holding the knife. It felt like a betrayal. 

“Hyunjin,” his name slipped from your lips like a plea. “Hyunjin.” 

More choked sobs escaped your windpipes as you searched around the room. First, it was his wardrobe. The oak material was practically empty, all that remained were a couple of sleep tees and the shirts you’ve left over the years. You rummaged through the hangers, finding that he had brought one of your sweatshirts along. 

The confirmation of his departure was the emptiness of his study table. Each nook and cranny of his table used to feel like Hyunjin, from the stacks of sketchbooks to eraser dust. Everything was Hyunjin — but at that moment, there was nothing. There was only a void — that of his desk and your heart. 

Your best friend was truly gone. 

“Hyunjin,” the name wrestled its way past your lips again. This time, it was out of longing. “Hyunjin.” 

The manner in which you walked to his bed echoed your feelings. Quivering, like a toddler’s first time walking. Your body fell onto the bed, earning a soft whine from Kkami. Gently, you held Kkami in your arms, letting a stream of tears cascade down your cheeks. For the first time in a while, you allowed yourself to cry, to feel, to mourn. 

If someone were to tell you that Hyunjin out of all people would make you cry that much, you would’ve laughed. Never in a million years, you’d say. The only times he had made you cry were from laughter. 

“Kkami,” you cried. The chihuahua nuzzled its head into your arms, as though it could feel your sorrow. Perhaps it could. “I miss Hyunjin.”

The dog whined. It looked up to you, placing its paw onto your arm. You cried even more. 

“I wanted to tell him about how I feel today,” through sobs, you managed to speak. “How could he make me feel so many things in one day and disappear the other? He didn't even say goodbye.”

It felt like the chihuahua was mourning with you — the way it nudged its head onto your arm, letting out soft whimpers. As though it was telling you that things will be okay. 

You weren’t sure that it would. You spent your whole life with Hyunjin by your side, you had never known life without him. Now that he was ripped from your grasp, you didn’t know how to go on. No — he voluntarily released himself from your grasp, without warning. It was worse. 

Physical traces of Hyunjin in his room were gone. There was only his scent — the smell of his shampoo, and his cologne. It lingered in the room, mocking you.

In your melancholic state of mind, you could only weep.

eight. 

“Coffee, or tea?”

A female voice broke Hyunjin from his trance. He looked up at the stewardess standing by his seat, the sweatshirt doused in your scent crumpling in his tight grip. 

“I want to get off this plane,” sat on his tongue and dissolved. He took a deep breath. 

“Um,” he looked at the cart, “Plain water, please?”

Coffee would only force Hyunjin to stay awake, forcing him to listen to his own brain’s torments for 14 hours straight. Tea reminded him too much of you, of the times when you were little and would make him play tea party with you. He’ll think about the times you’d cheekily kiss his cheek, an attempt to woo him into playing with you. It worked each time. 

The stewardess nodded, handing him a water bottle branded with the aeroplane’s logo. He muttered a thank you, yet the stewardess still didn’t walk away. She looked nice, her eyes analyzing Hyunjin told him that he must’ve looked like the epitome of a wreck.  

“First time flying?” she questioned. It wasn’t his first time, having gone on many vacations before yet he nodded. “I see. It’ll be fine, just sit back and relax.”

The woman, whose name tag said Chaewon flashed Hyunjin a hospitality smile — one he didn’t think he deserved — then walked away. Hyunjin pursed his lips, wishing that she hadn’t walked away. He didn’t want to be left alone with his thoughts, he didn’t want to be awake, he didn’t want to be in this plane — there were a lot of things he didn’t want to do, but had to do. 

Hyunjin wanted to turn back.

Silently, he looked out the window, watching as the landscapes of Seoul grew smaller, slowly becoming covered with clouds. He desperately wished to get out, praying to God that the plane would miraculously turn back and the tableau of Seoul would become bigger. Had he told the stewardess named Chaewon he wanted to get off, would they have let him? Had he told his parents he didn’t want to go to Paris, would they have understood?

If he tells you he’s sorry, would you forgive him? 

Regrets and memories clouded his mind, tears making their way down his cheeks. Each thought strangled his heart, and he could feel it physically aching. In a melancholic state of mind he sat, clinging onto your sweatshirt like it was his lifeline, allowing slumber to slowly take over. 

The break from his own thoughts did not last long enough.

Seven hours later, Hyunjin woke up to dried tears on his cheeks. He straightened his posture and glanced at the window, feeling a wave of emotions at the change of landscapes. Hyunjin wasn’t sure in which city they were flying over, but he could say with certainty that it did not look like Seoul. It did not feel like home, it did not feel like you. 

Unable to fall back to sleep, he couldn’t help the thoughts that poisoned his mind. Looking over the landscapes, he came to a realization much too painful for his heart to bear. 

You and him — you were the Sun, and he was the Moon. Two people of different circumstances, who’ll never meet, ripped away from the merciless hands of time. For your timezones were different — horizons even more. 

As a wave of new tears descended, Hyunjin wondered if he would ever forget about you.

The answer came to him one afternoon three years later, as he laid on the couch in his Parisian apartment. 

No, he’d never forget about you. At least not in three years. Maybe not even in five. 

Sunlight seeped in through the balcony, providing Hyunjin the warmth he wasn’t able to receive from a person. His roommate was a French guy who was always out and about, leaving Hyunjin to soak in his own company for hours on end. Sometimes, for days. Hyunjin loved and hated it at the same time. 

His limbs stretched across the burgundy couch, a yawn eliciting past his lips. Brown eyes stared at the canvas in front of him, black and white hues scattered on white, forming a half-finished painting of you. 

Years later, and you remained at the back of his mind — his muse.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

nine.  

There are five stages of grief. 

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, then acceptance. Denial was the hardest for you, having spent your entire birthday staring at the front door of your house, praying Hyunjin would walk in. When your friends sang you a Happy Birthday, it sounded like a morose ballad playing from a broken record. Without Hyunjin, gloom sat at the centre of even the happiest things. 

Then came a sixth stage — one that seemed to exist for you.

Motivation.

After coming to acceptance that your best friend had gone, without any farewell, you spent many hours a day in the ballet studio. Pirouette, arabesque, plié — you managed to polish each move with the amount of time you spent cooped up in the studio. You weren’t born with ballet feet, but the times spent in pointe shoes had somehow moulded you into having them. 

Perhaps, it was distraction, disguised as motivation.

Nevertheless, the tireless hours of practice granted you a position in the Paris Ballet School.

Paris felt bittersweet when you first landed. It was the city of your dreams, but the reminiscence of the person it took from you made you loathe it. 

Withal, life had to go on. To cope with the Parisian lifestyle, you managed to get a job at a cafe near your academy — Desir Cafe. You worked night shifts as a kitchen crew but if traffic was overwhelming in the afternoons, your shitty excuse of a boss would make you come in anyway.

Unfortunately for you, it was one of those days. Clinks and sizzles reverberated in the kitchen, the peg board overwhelmed with sticky notes of orders. You were everywhere in the kitchen, from piping icing on cupcakes to sprinkling chocolate rice on pastries. 

“Yn,” the main baker yelled, “Tell Double C’s we can’t stock up on macarons! We’re out of almond flour!” 

The Double C’s — Charlotte, and Colette. They were a duo who worked as waitresses, always gossiping. Birds of the same feather, attached by the hip. 

Exasperated, you headed to the front, swinging the kitchen door open to see the duo gossiping. Charlotte was leaning in towards Colette, whispering into her ear, earning giggles from the other. You sighed, wondering what the topic was that afternoon. Curious as to who they were gossiping about, you looked towards the direction they were looking. 

Seated alone at the corner of the cafe was a guy, blonde hair gleaming golden from the sunlight seeping through the big window. His utmost focus was on the sketchbook in front of him, frail fingers dancing across paper, entrancing any eyes which fell upon him. You couldn’t help but stare, your face gradually contorting into disbelief.

He resembled too much like Hyunjin — your Hyunjin. 

Your gaze lingered on the man, analyzing each crease of his face, matching it with the one you had in mind. He looked just like Hyunjin, from the shape of his nose to the mole under his eye. The only difference was the hair. Hyunjin’s hair was raven black, but the person in the cafe had golden blonde hair. You felt your throat tighten. If the man sitting at the corner was him, then time had done good on him. He was beautiful, face sculptured beautifully by time’s gentle hands.

“Ooh, look who’s ogling!” a high-pitched voice interrupted you. You looked up to see the Double C’s looking at you, wiggling their eyebrows mischievously. Charlotte smirked, “Think the guy’s cute?”

“Huh? What guy?” you lied, feeling your cheeks heat up. 

Colette rolled her eyes. “The dude over there! Don’t lie, you think he’s cute.” The brunette wiggled her eyebrows even more, subtly pointing at the man. 

You didn’t say anything else, but your eyes travelled back to the familiar silhouette. The sense of familiarity tugged on fragile heartstrings the more you looked at him. Colette could sense your curiosity, so she parted her lips to speak.

“That’s Hyunjin. He’s a student in Beaux-Arts de Paris,” she muttered, unbeknownst to her the mixed emotions that dawned upon you. “He comes here almost every afternoon. Maybe that’s why you’ve never seen him before. He’s cute, isn’t he?”

Excitedly, Charlotte nodded her head. “A total heart-throb, honestly.”

“I mean…” your voice trailed, “He’s quite alright.”

How were you supposed to react to finally seeing the one who got away? Were you supposed to feel excited, or upset? It was like the moon had suddenly dropped down onto your lap. 

You were confused.

Charlotte continued speaking, not realizing the mixture of emotions in your face. “Sometimes, the students have exhibitions about ten minutes from here. His artworks always make it to the exhibitions. I’ve seen them, and they’re really beautiful.”

You turned towards her, “Exhibitions?”

She nodded, still naive as to your shift in behaviour. “I think the school has an exhibition every three months or so.”

Unfaltering, your eyes bored holes in Hyunjin’s back. He was in his own little world, evidently absorbed in whatever piece he was working on. Just like that, the memories you spent years suppressing came rushing back. 

It was unfair, the impact he had on you. There he was, lounging in a corner while your heart grappled in your chest. He looked older, better — and you were still the little girl in the tree house. Swaying your feet as they dangled, as though you had all the time in the world.

Charlotte and Colette exchanged looks as you stared at him. To them, you were simply developing a crush on a stranger. They wouldn’t understand the conflict brewing in you, they wouldn’t be able to comprehend the ache that stirred in the depths of your heart.

“What? You’re interested in him?” Charlotte spoke, breaking you off your trance. You looked at her, blinking. “Don’t even try. I’ve tried. I think he’s gay.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“He’s not gay — oh my god, Lottie!” it was Colette’s turn to speak. Playfully, she smacked the other’s arm. “I asked that guy he’s always with, the songwriter — Felix. Cute guy, that one. Felix told me that he’s got a secret lover or something.”

“Secret lover?”

“Yeah. Apparently, he likes to draw this one girl. His sketchbook’s filled with her,” Colette murmured, glancing at Hyunjin. “Felix asked her who she was, and he said it’s a girl of his dreams.”

Your heart dropped. You weren’t sure to which news you should react first, either Charlotte hitting up on your Hyunjin, or that he has a secret lover. Either way, it made you pathetically jealous. Your heartstrings thrummed in anger as you imagined a beautiful French girl spread out on his bed, and Charlotte hitting up on your Hyunjin.

How could he go on with his life when you spent years mourning him?

Crimson tainted your lip as you bit on it hard, the taste of metal at the tip of your tongue. 

Perhaps, you never made it past the anger stage of your grief.

ten.

You truly tried to be happy for Hyunjin.

For days, weeks — you spent convincing yourself that you had to be happy for him. Sure, he hurt you three years ago. Sure, you spent years in agony, regretting not telling him how you felt earlier, wondering what could’ve been. Sure, you hoped that you’d see him in Paris and he’d tell you that he’s in love with you and kiss you senseless — but those were just desperate prayers, weren’t they? Those were simply hopeful scenarios. You hadn’t expected them to come true, had you?

Hyunjin was your best friend of years. He deserved happiness, even when you didn’t feel happy. You had to let things go. You had to be happy for him.

Clearly, you failed at convincing yourself.

In front of a building you stood, the sound of people walking past becoming white noise. You stared at the banner standing in front of you, the words Autumn Exhibition displayed, with the logo of Beaux-Arts de Paris at the top. You swallowed the lump forming in your throat.

A week ago, Charlotte told you that the university would be holding another exhibition, and Hyunjin’s artworks most likely made it into the exhibition. You knew then, that you had to go. If you didn’t get to see him, then you at least wanted to see his pieces. To not be a part of his life was devastating, you wished to at least witness glimpses of it. 

9:45 p.m. was displayed on your screen, people were beginning to leave the exhibition. There weren’t many people around, which was what you were hoping for. Visiting the exhibition in daylight meant potentially bumping into Hyunjin, and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that.

One day you ought to meet him, but not today. Not when the fragments of your heart have yet to be mended.

After taking a deep breath, you willed yourself to step into the exhibition. A gust of wind hit your face, and you shivered, clutching your coat tight. The art display seemed to be painting-themed, the way frames of canvases were scattered around the building. Baroque paintings were displayed all over, each piece as beautiful as skies at dusk.

The tapping of your heels against the ceramic tiles sounded as you walked, the romantic lighting of the room providing you with a sense of comfort. Wildly, your eyes observed each piece, letting your heart be swayed by the beauty. 

They were all beautiful — but they didn’t feel like Hyunjin. 

Until your eyes trailed to a certain piece.

It was the centrepiece, the piece — little bulbs of lights were installed above the frame, making the piece feel alive. The moment your gaze fell on the artwork, you couldn’t help but feel drawn in, taking hurried steps towards it. You stared, unable to take your eyes off the hues on the canvas.

There weren’t many hues, just black and white. It depicted two figures on swings. You couldn’t see the figures clearly but you could tell they looked happy. You could see through the strokes of paint that they were happy — though the artist not so. There was a certain sadness in the painting, one that screamed nostalgia. 

The longer you looked at the piece, the more you realized. 

It was a fragment of your memory. 

Your breath hitched. In came a memory of you and Hyunjin — running around the park before playing on swings. It was a particularly memorable day, you could recall falling off the swing and Hyunjin kneeling in front of you, kissing the bruises on your knees with the tenderness of a feather. It was the first time you felt so protected, and so loved. 

A rush of emotions overcame you, you wondered if that was how Hyunjin felt when he painted it. Had he thought of you, and wept by his easel? Had he stained his cheeks with charcoal as he wiped stray tears off his face? 

You wondered, so much so that you failed to realize a silhouette entering the display. 

Hyunjin didn’t enjoy art exhibitions in daylight. They felt pompous. The people who visited the exhibitions would usually walk around casually, and took photos. They didn’t harbour any sort of deep appreciation towards art, they didn’t sit and admire.

Therefore, Hyunjin loved revisiting exhibitions in the comfort of twilight. When the expositions were empty, he enjoyed revisiting them, taking his sweet time to admire each piece. 

When he spotted a figure standing before his piece — his most vulnerable piece, he felt his heart drop. He watched from afar as this person observed the artwork, body as still as a mannequin. He had never witnessed someone admire a piece this intensely, especially with it being one of his pieces. He felt flattered, his heart swelling in pride and joy. 

Silently, Hyunjin approached the figure. Usually, he was shy, not the type to approach people first but somehow, he felt the strong urge to this time. Fate was pulling him by his heartstrings.

“That’s my painting,” Hyunjin spoke, ensuring his voice was as soft as possible. 

The sudden voice startled you. You whipped your head towards the source of the noise, eyes widened in shock. They widened even more at the sight before you. 

Hyunjin’s breath hitched. His heartbeats escalated, taking in the figure standing in front of him. His fingers dug into the skin of his thumb, lips quivering. Brown doe eyes mirrored yours.

“Wh — what?” he spoke again, breathless. “Yn?”

A few steps were taken, inching closer towards you. His eyes scanned your face, lips quivering even more when he realized that it was you — you were real, and you were standing in front of him. You looked the same as you did three years ago, except more beautiful. How’d you get more beautiful? The passage of time had seemingly been good to you, the way it had carved your face into one Hyunjin could imagine himself filling his canvases with.

“Hyunjin,” you willed yourself to speak. You ignored the way your eyes watered. “It’s you.”

“It’s you, too. You’re here.”

Another few, brave steps were taken. You, on the other hand, didn’t move an inch. 

“I hate you,” the words spilt past sanguine mouth before you could stop them, its venom contrasting the hushed tone of your voice. They crushed Hyunjin’s heart, though he knew he deserved them. “But I missed you.”

“I’m sorry,” was all that he could say. Hyunjin meant it. He really was sorry. He was sorry as he sent you back from the meadow, too cowardly to bid you goodbye. He was sorry when he packed his bags, stealing one of your sweatshirts for solace. He was sorry when he was on the plane, wishing he could turn back time. He was sorry when he painted numerous portraits of you. He was sorry as he stood before you, watching tears flow down your cheeks because it was the least he could do — a form of punishment for what he had done to you.

You shook your head, palms rushing towards your face to wipe away tears. 

“It’s not enough, I know,” he mumbled, moving closer towards you to wipe your tears, like it was instinct, feeling his heart clench when you took steps back. “But I truly am sorry.”

“You didn’t even say goodbye,” you sobbed, vision blurry. “You didn’t even contact me.”

“I know, Yn, I know — I’m sorry. I wanted to call you, but I couldn’t,” he rambled, cupping your cheeks and rubbing on the skin. You allowed him to. “I swear, I wanted to write to you, but I was too embarrassed, and by the time I had enough courage it was already too late.”

Sobs wrestled their way past your lips, barely able to form coherent words. You kept shaking your head, blurting out the words you’ve kept for years.

“You just left me, Hyunjin — you left me. A day before my birthday,” your whimpers got louder, “I wanted to tell you I’m in love with you, on my birthday. Hell, three years later and I’m still in love with you.”

Hyunjin’s face paled. He had expected curses, and cries — but he hadn’t expected that. Anything, but that. His limbs moved before his brain could process things, lifting your chin to meet eyes. Your eyes were tinted with tears, but you were still beautiful. You’re always beautiful.

“What?” he squeezed your cheeks, “Yn, what?”

“You heard me. I’m not saying it again. It's fucking pathetic.”

“Fuck,” he exhaled. Hyunjin knew he was supposed to feel remorse, but God — his heart bloomed at the words you had whispered to him. You’re in love with him. You’re in love with him, the same way he was in love with you. “Fuck, Yn. You can't just say shit like that.”

Feather-like touches grazed your lips. There was a certain look in Hyunjin's eyes, one that you couldn't quite figure out — they were a look of longing. How could you know it was longing when you had never bear witness to them? You could feel his breath against your face, warm like his fingertips.

“You have no fucking idea how long I've been in love with you. You have no idea how much I missed you. Fuck, I think about you every fucking day,” he whispered, “You have no idea how much I regret getting on that plane.”

At that moment, all you could feel was Hyunjin. His deep, brown eyes staring into yours and his thumb pressing onto your lip.

“Kiss me,” you whispered back, “Kiss me, Hwang Hyunjin.”

And kiss you, he did. His lips crashed against yours with fervour, moving his lips to the same beat as his racing heart. You kissed back in the same manner, letting out the emotions you had bottled up. 

I love you, I love you — each movement of his lips was a love confession, etching his adoration onto the curves of your lips. You caressed his cheeks akin to holding stars in your palms — careful, precious.

Finally, you pulled apart to catch your breaths, bodies heaving against each other. 

“Please, give me a second chance.”

It’s odd the way human minds work, because at that very moment, you were reminded of Colette's words. Ones that mentioned a rumoured secret lover.

“But,” you felt silly for saying it, “Your secret lover?”

“My secret lover?” the boy's eyebrows furrowed. He then chuckled upon realization. The rumour must've spread to you. “Ah, that secret lover. It's you, idiot.” 

He smiled. You didn’t think anyone could look as beautiful as he did.

“It's always been you.”

eleven.  

“Careful — come on, get under here.”

Giggles echoed in the alleyways as two shadows lingered in the darkness of midnight. It was raining, the pavements darkening with wetness and the wind howling a sweet melody. At that particular hour, under the moonlight, Paris looked like the city of love. 

You rushed out of the exposition hall, getting under Hyunjin’s leather jacket. He’d promised you the date of your lifetime that night, and he wasn’t one to break his promises. 

Hyunjin’s back was damp from the rain, but it didn’t matter as long as not a droplet landed on your body. It only took a few minutes (and a lot of giggles in between) to reach Hyunjin’s so-called secret spot. 

Streetlights shone on a bench, and clusters of flowers surrounded a little pond. The spot overlooked the city, you could see the city lights from all the way up here. You gasped in awe, it’s no wonder Hyunjin insisted on coming here.

“So beautiful,” you whispered. Hyunjin smiled softly, moving closer towards you on the bench and wrapped an arm around your waist.

While fondly looking at your visage, he muttered. “Yeah, it’s pretty.”

“How’d you find this place?”

“I found it while I was walking one night,” he explained, resting his head on yours. You could smell his shampoo in this closeness. “I was sad. This garden reminded me of the one we used to go to when we were kids.”

Your heart swelled at the confession. 

“It does resemble that one a lot.”

The skies were still drizzling rain, but you were both a little sheltered much thanks to the oak tree above you. Only droplets dripped, falling onto your head but it was a nice sensation. Besides, you couldn’t feel the cold when you’re nuzzled in Hyunjin’s arm, blanketed in his familiar warmth. You allowed silence to third-wheel you, eyes busied with observing the sight. Silence was always comfortable with Hyunjin. The time spent apart hadn’t changed that. 

He wouldn’t leave you alone, his skin constantly touching yours. It burned against you. You didn’t mind it. Instead, you basked in his love, listening to the sounds of his heartbeats as your head rested on his chest. He intertwined your fingers together, his thumb rubbing against yours. He wouldn’t let go of you, not even when he bent down to pluck a flower, slipping the daffodil onto your ear. 

“I missed you,” he murmured. You weren’t sure how much he’d repeated that phrase but you liked it. “I truly did.”

For the thousandth time that night, you responded. “I missed you too.”

The conversation changed into one about your lives, catching up on each other’s shenanigans. It was comfortable, being with Hyunjin. Topics changed seamlessly. You didn’t have to put much effort into talking to him, you just had to be there.

Softly, his hands moved towards your feet, taking off one of your shoes. He held onto your ankle, tracing his pointer across your sole. You giggled, the feather-like touches tickled. 

“You still have the feet of a ballerina.”

“Of course, silly,” you scoffed, “I am one after all.”

“I’m so glad that your dreams came true,” he whispered, putting your leg down. He cupped your cheek, showcasing a fond smile that stretched to his ears. “I’m really happy that you’re here.”

“Of course,” you repeated. “You told me you’d be wherever I am. It’s only fair I returned the favour.”

The words knocked out Hyunjin’s breath, and it filled his soul with so much adoration, he felt like he could burst. A pleading expression was written all over his porcelain visage, the way in which he squeezed your hand expressing his feelings even more.

“Please,” he pleaded. “I need to be yours.”

You kissed him, for the second time that night.

“I’m already yours, Hyunnie.”

twelve.  

Things with Hyunjin had been going exceptionally well. 

After the fated night, you carried on with so much happiness that you practically beamed everywhere you went. One time when you clocked into work, the Double C’s made kissy noises at you, and Charlotte had whispered, “You must’ve had crazy good sex last night.”

You couldn’t deny it, of course.

Date nights with Hyunjin happened thrice a week, with coffee runs in between classes. The Paris Ballet School and Beaux-Arts de Paris weren’t that far from each other, allowing you to sneak lunches together almost daily. Though you had to admit that even if the universities were far, Hyunjin definitely wouldn’t mind spending extra time just to see you. Sometimes, he’d watch you dance, and sometimes, you’d watch him paint. 

It was like you were both making up for the lack of each other the past three years.

After just two weeks of your relationship, you were acquainted with the comfort of Hyunjin’s home. His roommate was barely home, so you felt comfortable with coming over often. Most weekends, you’d spend the night over. 

Morning birds chirped a jolly ballad, waking you from your slumber. You stretched, feeling the heat of Hyunjin’s skin against yours. You couldn’t help the smile that grazed your face when you looked at him, fast asleep under the duvets beside you. Sleepily, you pressed a kiss onto his bare shoulder, then traced the memories of last night, tattooed on his skin in the form of bruises. It pulled a whine from him, moving under the duvet to press himself impossibly closer towards you.

“Flower,” he mumbled, morning voice husky, “I'm cold.”

“Then come cuddle.”

He did as told, wrapping strong arms around you. You felt his fingers ghost against your naked spine, sending heat straight to your core. You couldn't help the whimper that left you, earning a playful grin from your boyfriend. 

“It's too early to get in the mood, no? Baby?”

Flushed, you smacked his arm. “Shut up.”

Hyunjin giggled, leaning towards you to press kisses onto your face. Mornings with him were often spent like this — limbs entangled, as if you were one. 

“Need to shower, baby,” he sighed, “Have an exhibition today.”

To your dismay, he slowly pulled away from you, missing the warmth of his body. 

“You coming to the exposition?”

“Of course,” you hummed. “Go shower. Can I borrow your laptop while you're in the shower?”

“Yeah, baby. The password's your birthday.”

He got up from the bed, and you flushed as you looked at his bare body. Unluckily for you, your boyfriend quickly noticed your flushed face, taking it as an opportunity to throw a pillow at you and call you a pervert. You rolled your eyes, watching him enter the bathroom before getting up, wrapping the duvet around your naked body. 

You walked towards his study to retrieve his laptop, smiling at the artworks displayed on his peg board. One was of you — a painting of the Polaroid he took of you back in the meadow. The Polaroid itself sat at the back of his phone case. He had never taken it out since the first time he put it in back then.

Whilst humming to a melody, you kicked in the digits of your birthday. The laptop unlocked, showcasing the unclosed tabs. 

Your eyes widened at the words written on the screen.

Congratulations, you've been chosen for a student exchange programme to Rome.

Your heart skipped a beat. Repeatedly, your eyes skimmed the words on the screen. You didn't mean to pry but you scrolled through the email, feeling your heart sink upon seeing the date it was sent.

Over a week ago. 

Yet Hyunjin hadn't told you anything. 

After all these years, he was still keeping secrets from you. You couldn't handle it, and so for the sake of your heart you exited the tab, and shut down the laptop. Careful as to not make much noise, you got dressed. 

“Hyunjin,” you knocked on the bathroom door. “Need to be at the academy now. Bye.”

You needed to be away from him — you needed to clear your head.

thirteen.

You hadn't seen Hyunjin for a week.

The texts from him you didn't avoid, responding each time he sent a message. However, you'd been dodging his requests of meeting, under the guise of practice when in truth, you hadn’t gone for classes in a week. You spent your days moping in your apartment. 

Perhaps it was a little childish of you to do, but you couldn't bear the thought of going through what you did before. You'd tasted a life without Hyunjin, and you were certain you didn't want to live through it again. This was your way of mentally preparing for that life again. 

Your limbs lazily stretched across the cotton duvet as a vinyl played in the background. A melodramatic song played, matching the current tune of your heart. You weren't entirely sure what time it was, but the sound of the apartment bell ringing hinted that it was afternoon. It must be the takeout your roommate ordered.

“Reine,” a familiar voice reverberated in your apartment. “Where's Yn?”

“In her bedroom,” your roommate, Reine replied in her thick French accent. “She's been in there moping all week.”

Damn you, Reine. 

Quickly, you buried yourself in your duvet, anticipating the footsteps which approached your room. Soon, your door swung open, and you could smell the white gardenia in his cologne.

“My flower,” his voice tempted you to look, “What’s going on, sweet girl?”

It didn’t help that each syllable that slipped past his lips felt like honey.

You felt his hands pull down your duvet before you came face to face with your boyfriend. He stood before you, hair slicked back and the white blouse he wore accentuated his shoulders. In his hands was a bouquet of flowers, patches of peonies and daffodils peeking from the wrapper. 

You didn’t utter any words, simply looking at him with watery doe eyes. He didn’t miss the glint of tears, immediately setting the bouquet on your nightstand to get onto the bed. Tenderly, he pulled you onto his lap.

“You look so sad,” he mumbled, “Can my sweet girl please tell me why she’s so sad?”

Damn, him. How were you supposed to stand a chance when he was so ridiculously handsome and sweet?

Trembling, you parted your lips to speak. 

“You’re hiding things from me.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What things, baby?”

Your eyes shot daggers at him, bottom lip forming into a pout. Hyunjin had to stop himself from leaning in and biting it.

“You got offered to an exchange student programme,” you finally bit the bullet. “You’re planning on keeping it a secret and just leaving me again, aren’t you?”

Ah.

Hyunjin’s eyes softened. He sighed, caressing your cheek in his hand. He shook his head as his free hand rested on your thigh, massaging the supple skin.

“No, I’m rejecting it,” he answered. “I didn’t tell you because I thought there was no point in telling you if I didn’t even want to go.”

“What?” you responded, voice a little higher than you intended it to be. Your eyes scanned his for any lies. “Hyunjin — it’s a good opportunity.”

“What, you don’t want me here anymore?” he joked, raising an eyebrow at you. “Baby, Paris is already enough for me. I don’t really want to move again.”

You nodded at his words. A huge part of you felt relieved — and you felt awful for feeling that way. 

Love, sometimes, is about being selfish after all.

“Were you sad because you thought I was going?” your boyfriend queried, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

You shrugged. “A little. I was more mad that you didn’t tell me.”

“Oh,” he nodded, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret, I just didn’t mention it because it felt insignificant.”

“I want you to tell me things,” you mumbled, wrapping your arms around his neck. It left goosebumps in its wake. “I want to know these things.”

“Okay," he mumbled. Something about his compliance made you feel fonder of him. "I'll start telling you these things."

A sigh of relief left your lips. You had known Hyunjin for years, but being with him was different. A good kind of difference. It would take you a while to adjust to these changes — but it was the kind of changes you'd want to adjust to.

Hyunjin's fingers trailed to your hips, ghosting over your skin until they reached your thighs. He traced the stretch marks there, leaving goosebumps in its wake. You couldn't help the whine that left your mouth, and the heat that arose, tainting the tips of your ears in crimson. Hyunjin enjoyed this — flustering you with his ministrations. He allowed you to nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, whimpering as he felt your lips litter kisses on his most sensitive spots.

"I love you," he confessed, like honey dripping from lips. "Promise I'll be wherever you are."

disclaimer — © 2024 hyunverse on tumblr. all rights reserved. authors works are protected under the copyright law. do not plagiarize or translate my works. tumblr is my only platform.

taglist: @zoe8stay , @starlostseungmin , @starlostlaiba , @hwajin , @sleepyleeji , @skizzel-reblogs, @jdopes-recorder , @sherryblossom , @cb97whoree , @alyszaen , @aaliyahxsx , @jeonginsyoungestsibling , @hyunluvxo , @bokk-minnie , @ghostyycat7 , @fortunatelyhertragedy @yongbokkari @ameliesaysshoo @seoli-16 @jisungsdaydreamer @soobnny @seolboba @in2heartz @jehhskz @astraystayyh @mnwrld

[kamisatomay018]

Family is Forever

Father Neuvillette- you both have a daughter. Slight angst with lots of comfort. Very fluff, lots of family love!

Neuvillette x female reader

This one is also gonna be a little long haha

“Mama, why is papa not home?” Your 6 year old daughter asked with a big pout, her beautiful big eyes filled with tears. She was a spitting image of your husband, with the same white locks and lavender eyes. Your heart broke listening to those words. Being the Chief Justice of Fontaine was not an easy task, and recently criminal activity had increased a lot in Fontaine for some unknown reason. This resulted in Neuvillette returning home very late for the past 4 months.

He was an amazing husband and father, and he loved his two blossoms- that’s what he loved to call you both- endlessly. You still remembered the way his eyes had teared up in happiness when he first held his newborn daughter in his arms. His happiness knew no bounds, he loved you both more than anything. But his duties had now caused a distance to grow between him and his daughter, which hurt him deeply. He would have to leave early, and come back home very late. Of course by then your little daughter would be fast asleep, and she missed her father dearly. It was safe to say that she was way more attached to her papa than you, and that fact made your heart very happy.

Now faced with this sudden question, you gently picked her up, sitting her on your lap and cooed her sweetly. “Sweetheart, papa has a lot of work, that’s why he gets late..”

“But..but I miss papa..I want him to sing lullaby for me, please?” She said, pearl like tears now falling from her eyes. You hugged her close, feeling helpless. No one was at fault here because you knew Neuvillette was trying so hard to come back home early. You had seen the way he would come back home and go to his sleeping daughter, his eyes filled with sadness as the rain poured outside. He would kiss her forehead, whispering softly telling her he loved her and how sorry he was. Almost every night you would stay awake to comfort him, and at times he would cry because of the guilt he felt. In his eyes he was being a bad husband and father, missing out on his little blossom’s childhood.

“Don’t cry my little flower, papa loves you so much, always remember that..”

“But mama…am I the reason papa isn’t here?” Your eyes widened, and heart shattered at those words. You immediately shook your head, cuddling her so close. “No sweetie, of course not! Don’t say that, you are papa’s little blossom, he loves you so much..”

She looked up at you with her big teary eyes, the amount of innocent sadness in her eyes wounded you. “Really mama? I miss papa, I want him..”

Before you could reply, you heard loud thunder as rain poured like anything. Your eyes widened and you immediately looked back; watching a silhouette hurriedly disappear into the hallways. Your worst fear had come true, neuvillette had come home early after so long, only to hear all this. You couldn’t even imagine how hurt he must be, and the heavy rain outside was only a fragment of his emotions. You stayed with your daughter for a while, quickly making her sleepy and gently tucked her in bed, and immediately made your way to your bedroom.

Making your way inside, you found your husband sitting on the bed, tears falling down his cheeks. Your heart ached at the sight, the father and daughter really were alike. You got in bed too, gently making him lay down as he immediately hid himself in your arms, soaking your tshirt with his tears. On the outside, he was always stoic and composed, never showing emotion. But you knew that his heart was so soft and sensitive, and when it came to you and your daughter, he was never afraid of expressing his emotions.

“Neuvi, breathe love, it’s okay..everything is gonna be okay, I promise..” You felt him shaking his head, and for the first time you heard his voice be so weak and sad. “No..I failed..I’m such a bad father, I made my blossom cry..I made her feel unloved..What kind of a papa am I? I don’t deserve her, I don’t deserve you…” and then came even more sobs. The rain only grew stronger and you felt your heart break.

“No Neuvi, you’re an amazing father..please don’t say that, she loves you so much..She’s young, she doesn’t understand right? She loves her papa so much..I know it’s not your fault love, I know how tired you’ve been, how much you have been missing her..”

He looked up at you, just the way your daughter had done a while ago “but I made her cry Mon Ange…she..she thought I didn’t love her..” You gently wiped his tears, placing soft kisses on his cheeks and forehead. He closed his eyes, letting himself feel your warmth and your tender love.

“She’s only a child Neuvi, and she cannot understand the complexity of our situation right? She’s saying that only because the change in these 4 months has been too sudden for her. Earlier you would tuck her in bed, sing her lullabies and drop her off to school, but now because of the situation you can’t..And I understand that, but she can’t right?”

He nodded at your words, still feeling so sad as he pouted in a manner so similar to his daughter, mumbling softly “but I love you both so much..I love my blossoms more than anything..” You gave him a sweet smile, gently kissing his lips “we love you so much too my love..everything will be okay, she knows you love her. This was a simple misunderstanding honey..we are family right? Family is forever, and our love is forever.”

You felt him ease at your words, the rain slowing down as he nodded at your words. “Yes, you’re right Mon Ange..” he then glanced at the seating in your big room, where two big bags were placed and sighed softly “I bought her favourite chocolates and a few toys while coming back home today as a little apology..” You smiled again, kissing his cheeks. “I’m sure she’ll love them Neuvi” he stayed silent now, just basking in your warmth which he had missed. Work had snatched away his family time, and that angered him. He was more than determined to end this series of criminal activities now. All these months he had been working tirelessly, connecting clues and organising investigations. Tomorrow was a big hearing, and if everything worked according to plan, then he would be free from the shackles of his endless work for a long time.

“I love you so much Mon Ange..thank you for being so patient and understanding, and thank you for marrying me..” he spoke softly, his words being so genuine as he kissed your wedding ring delicately. You chuckled softly, kissing his forehead while caressing his long hair, gently untying the bow to let him relax. “I love you more than anything Neuvi, marrying you was the best decision of my life. You and our little blossom are my everything..”

Neuvillette felt himself relax and calm down even more, your soft caresses and warmth doing magic. The rain stopped, as your dragon felt sleepy in your embrace after a long day. “Sleep my love, you’re tired. We’ll make everything work okay?” He nodded with a soft smile, and you two let the slumber take over.

The next day came by, your daughter’s school had just ended, and she was still sad. Her friend’s father had come to pick her up, and that just made her miss her papa even more. While waiting for you to pick her up, she heard a familiar voice that she had missed so much.

“Is that my little blossom I see?” She gasped loudly, turning around and had the biggest smile ever, her tiny frame running towards her father. “Papa!!” Neuvillette had the biggest smile as he picked his daughter up, hugging her close as he felt his heart smile. “Papa you’re here!!” Her excited voice spoke, as he looked at his little blossom, who was just like him. “Yes my blossom, papa is here..”

Meanwhile you hurried towards your daughter’s school to pick her up, your work had kept you a little busy, and you hoped she wasn’t scared alone. But what you saw just made your heart burst with happiness, your husband and your daughter together, as she clung onto him like anything, refusing to let her father go. The sun shone brightly, as the smile on Neuvillette’s face never left. People around were shocked to see the Chief Justice so happy and smiley, but he did not care. He was finally with his family, his blossom. You approached the two, having the biggest smile ever.

“Seems like no one missed mama huh!” You teased with a sweet smile, seeing your daughter look at you again, giggling cutely. “Mama look! Papa is here to pick me up!!” You saw your husband’s eyes tear up, perhaps with both happiness yet a little guilt, as you joined the hug, kissing her cheeks. “Aawww yes sweetie, look papa surprised you!” “It’s the best surprise ever! I love you papa!” She looked at her father, who was so dear to her. He smiled even more, a tear falling down his cheek which he quickly blinked away, kissing his blossom’s forehead. “Papa loves you so much my little blossom, he’s so sorry for being a bad papa..”

“You’re not a bad papa! You’re my hero! Papa is the best! But can you please stay home with me and mama? I miss your lullabies..” she looked at him with big puppy eyes, making neuvillette chuckle. “I’m not going anywhere sweetheart, papa has taken a long holiday! No more work, only family time now!” Your daughter squealed in excitement, hugging her father even more. “You promise papa?” “Yes blossom, I promise..”

You looked at your husband with slight worry in your eyes, whispering softly “Neuvi, what about the trials..?” “It’s over Mon Ange, the criminals have been caught, Fontaine is once again at peace. Furina was very generous and gave me a whole month off, saying I only need to come to work if any major trials are there, and that she’ll handle the rest.” You smiled so happily, hugging him sweetly. “See? I told you everything would be okay!”

He laughed softly, feeling bliss. He was now home, in the arms of his two precious angels. He couldn’t ask for anything more. “Yes my love, and as always, you’re absolutely right. Now how about we go home? Im gonna make my blossoms’ favourite food today!” You laughed seeing your daughter clap excitedly, your mind now being at peace as they both were so happy.

Family was forever, and it was everything to you and Neuvillette. You just knew he was going to spoil his daughter rotten this month.

[blayresmuses]

love spiral

summary: a turn in conversation has you asking uncomfortable questions that aemond can't help but answer.

warnings: ‘teach me how to kiss trope’, best friends to lovers, light smut

the leaves of the trees rustled above you as you lay with your head in aemond’s lap, your eyes closed as you listened to him read from some history book. the godswood was empty, peaceful - just how you liked it.

these moments the two of you had were sacred, buried away in the deepest chamber of your heart, a place so overwhelmingly filled with aemond targaryen. he was your childhood best friend, the person you’d grew up with through everything. you’d bickered and fought, played and learned together - you thought at times that he knew you better than you knew yourself.

‘i don’t think i’ve ever heard something so dull,’ you whined, opening your eyes and gazing up at him. ‘tell me one of your stories instead, they’re much more fun.’

he met your eye, lips quirked up in an amused smirk at the childish pout on your lips. ‘i don’t think my stories are suitable for a ladies ears.’ he went back to his book, flicking through the pages but no longer really reading. you often had this effect on his concentration, his focus disappearing at your slightest request.

‘now, now aemond,’ you urged, sitting up now and settling into the curve of his shoulder, the bark of the tree rough against your back. ‘you’ve never adopted that logic before so i advise you to tell me something before you bore me to sleep.’

aemond chuckled, a husky noise that settled deep in your belly, a feeling that scared you and excited you at the same time. ‘you advise me,’ he repeated, slamming the book shut and tossing it to the side. ‘i hate to remind you but i am a prince, if anything i should be the one advising you to be quiet and leave me in peace.’

‘where’s the fun in that?’ you took up a lock of your hair that lay on your shoulder, using it to run down his jaw, his lips and laughed as he squirmed. aemond looked so young, carefree and you were happy that in these moments you could bring it out of him, even if it did take pestering him to get it. ‘now tell me, my prince. did you visit the brothel last night? i’ve heard aegon has become a frequent visitor.’

aemond choked as if the air was too thick to swallow. he’d never truly adjusted to the blunt, brash ways you’d picked up over the years. you were a lady in every way but you also had a wickedness to you that he admired, adored even. he shook his head quickly, avoiding your eye. he actually hadn’t gone - he had in the past of course, shamefully often choosing women that resembled you in some way but it always left him feeling dissatisfied and frustrated.

‘what is it exactly that you do there?’ his head turned back swiftly at the softer tone of your voice, the slight vulnerability in your curiosity. he liked that he was the one you came to, the one to receive your thoughts. ‘i mean i have a slight idea but not the full picture-’

‘it is not for me to say,’ aemond interrupted. rough fingers caressed your jaw, his way of softening the refusal. you gazed at him, awed slightly by the thoughtfulness of his actions. you weren't some innocent doe, you'd heard gossip around court and the feelings they spoke of with men was what you were sure you had with aemond, you just had to explore it. ‘your husband. when that day comes, he’ll tell you.’

saying the words filled him with a deep sadness, a terrible sense of loathing at the imagined man who’d take that step with you, who’d show you something special that aemond wished he could have for himself. ‘but i want you to tell me,’ you insisted, resting your cheek in his palm. he couldn’t hide the flurry of emotions that rose in his eyes, his heart beat unevenly under his tunic. pictures of you played in his head, scenarios he’d imagined already a number of times. you rose up onto your knees, inching closer to him and aemond shook his head as if he could rid himself of these thoughts.

he wasn’t pure, wasn’t hindered by feelings of honour and morality like men could be. taking someone’s innocence, others wouldn’t even blink an eye, some would say it was a part of manhood but this was you. this special, remarkable being that deserved every good thing under the sun that sat in front of him and made him feel normal and wanted. the bond the two of you shared was an exceptional, one of a kind thing - even he knew that.

‘show me something,’ you said after moments of his silence. it was a demand, the determined jut of your chin and the spark in your eye told him such. he felt uncharacteristically lost, floundering under feelings and the sense of duty to do the right thing by you. ‘surely my husband would want me to know something, at least. teach me, aemond.’

how the conversation had taken this turn he didn’t know but with every word, with every second that passed with you looking at him so longingly his resolve weakened. he felt each second go past and the urge to kiss you there in the open took over until all that was left was primal need. ‘one thing,’ he agreed hoarsely, stomach turning over as you moved closer, your knee knocking into his as you leaned into him. ‘we can't actually do it but i’ll show you the general idea.’

before you could object his fingers slid through your hair, as gentle as the wind and stopped at the nape of your neck. they were clammy, his nerves really showing when they dug in, gripping you as if he were afraid you'd vanish or run. he had no problems with whores because they meant nothing but this was an entirely different situation, you were an entirely different girl. the two of you took simultaneous breaths as his thumb tipped your chin up. 

a shiver ran down your spine as aemond lowered his mouth to the delicate skin of your neck. you felt him breathe in, his nose nudging against your jaw as if he wanted to commit your scent to memory. your eyes fluttered closed at the sensation, nails digging in to your palms as he left a soft, closed mouthed kiss on your skin. you gulped from the simple touch and aemond paused, waiting for a reaction before he continued. you were shaking already, a fire starting to burn low in your tummy. 

you felt another kiss and another, pressed so sweetly into your neck until you were huffing in frustration. then they got firmer, moving slowly in the direction of your collarbones that were exposed above your dress. his tongue slid against your skin, tasting you and aemond knew already he'd never forget this moment for the rest of his life, no matter how small and insignificant it may seem. his stomach clenched as you sighed, felt you moving slightly, rocking in to thin air as if you needed something to relieve the pressure. it gave him a maddening high, so innocent you were to get so needy from the slightest thing, from him.

‘that's it,’ he breathed. ‘it starts like that but on your mouth, not there.’ reluctantly, he pulled back just the slightest bit. your foreheads touched and he watched as you gulped in air, your cheeks flushed and your bottom lip swollen as if you'd been biting down on it. such a sight it made his heart ache. 

‘i want that, show me more,’ you begged, hands coming to rest on aemonds shoulders as his mouth opened to object. ‘i don't care about how improper it is aemond, i care about you, about this.’

aemond was already weak, he didn't take much convincing and as he moved closer, the pace so slow you thought you'd thought you'd cry out in impatience. tenderly he tucked some hair behind your ear, so close you could feel his breath against your mouth. you suddenly felt nervous, remembering you haven't done this before. you could only sit there as his mouth finally pressed against yours once, twice, thrice - just like he'd done to your neck. 

aemonds lips retreated only for you to follow eagerly, slotting your lips back together. the grip on your jaw grew tight as he fought desperately to keep his control. he felt like he still had it until you moved, climbed somewhat gracefully into his lap like you were born to be there, to be his. he couldn't fight it any longer, his fingers clutched at the heavy skirts of your dress, helping you get settled. if you felt him hard underneath you you didn't mention it, he wondered momentarily if you even knew what it meant, if you knew how badly he wanted you, had wanted you for years. you just slid down until you were pressed right against him and he swore he'd never known a pleasure like it. 

you gasped in need into his mouth as the kiss grew messier. it was the epitome of a first kiss, an inexperienced, clumsy thing that grew more addicting as the time went on. your fingers tangled in his hair and with a confidence you didn't know you possessed your hips moved once slowly against his, testing the waters. a frenzied groan hit your ears, a shy feeling of power radiating off of you knowing that you could elicit a sound like that from a man of such station. ‘there isn't a thing i wouldn't give you,’ he murmured softly.

he didn't even give you the chance to answer before his lips were back on yours. almost immediately his tongue slid into your mouth and it was all you could do to try and keep up, the words having left you in a giddy, dizzied state. every nerve in your body was alive, burning so hotly you could only compare it to dragaonflame. you ached pleasantly where ever he touched, you wanted him everywhere at once. you wondered how far you would have taken it if it weren't for the gasp of horror behind you.

you pulled away as if shocked and aemond took one long glance at you, knowing what had happened, knowing you'd probably never be alone like this with him again anytime soon. your lips were swollen, red and now his, your hair was dishevelled but what really affected him was the panic in your eyes as you turned your head, making eye contact with one of the ladies of the court. he wanted to tell you that nothing bad would happen to you, not whilst he lived. one bad word against you and he'd draw his sword, no matter who it happened to be. the possessive, obsessed side of him reared his head at the thought of other people knowing about this moment, this precious occasion that was so sacred. he didn't want other men eyeing you, wondering what you felt like. it sunk in that he couldn't ever let you go. 

he would have you forever, have your first everything.

the woman stared for a few seconds longer before turning and dashing off. you rose without looking at him, cheeks now red with what he assumed was shame and humiliation. you ran off, away from him. it hurt but he accepted it, only picking up his book again as he tried to process what had happened. he could have chased after her of course, threatened her not to tell a soul but he didn't.

he sat for minutes, listening to the silence, wishing you were there. with a quick change of heart he hoped it spread quickly, a dark thought that made him feel slightly disgraced - but the quicker everyone knew the sooner your father would appear with a marriage offer to sate the rumours.

it all worked exactly in his favour, he just hoped you’d see that in time.

[purpleberiii]

"You belong to me"

☆Prompt: Shalom and Reader has been friends since childhood and Reader has always been in love with Shalom until one day, Reader had to move away and she never saw Shalom again. Shalom hadn't figured out her feelings for Reader but one thing she knows for sure is that Reader belongs to her.

☆Warnings: Possessive Shalom, G!P Reader, nothing too intense, quite an innocent reader, Slight Anne x reader, beef between two of my wives (Anne and Shalom)

Growing up in Syndicate, it was not a good life. You got bullied and beaten every day, made fun of because of the way you looked. When you moved to the East Side, under the care of the Nineth Agency, life became immediately better, and it became the best point in your life when you met Shalom. Together you and Shalom battled the world and every danger it threw at you. One thing you knew for sure was that you were in love with her and when you told her, she replied with this, "Oh? You like me? That's quite unexpected. But I can't give you an answer now. I don't understand how my heart works."

The next day, Shalom disappeared. You knew she wasn't dead, but she just randomly disappeared. You grew up years later, still stuck on that beauty. Even after being appointed Chief, and hundreds of women threw themselves at you, you rejected them, your heart and love was for Shalom. But with recent events, you ended up back in Syndicate, and you met a wonderful doctor, Anne. She was gentle and soft spoken, reminding you of Shalom and slowly your feelings dissolved for Shalom and re-grew for Anne. The two of you started hanging out, it wasn't nothing to serious but you saw potential.

You were peacefully in your office when you got a call from the arrest captain that an unknown Sinner was there. She was accompanied by some members of FAC, meaning that she was VIP. She even requested to meet you specifically and when you entered the room, your heart left your body. "Shalom?" You whispered softly.

Shalom had that gentle smile, one you had grown to love and cherish. "Why isn't it the Chief of MBCC? How have you been, old friend?" She smiled, her smile carrying a familiar warmth in it.

"Cut the crap! Where have you been?! Why did you suddenly disappear like that?!" You approached Shalom and pulled her into a hug. Shalom didn't hug back for a few seconds.

"I've been quite alright. How are you? Did you meet anyone interesting these days?" She smiled, a knowing smile.

Now that you met her again, feelings that you've buried deep down resurfaced back again and you suddenly felt it difficult to speak. "I-uh...I no...yeah...."

"Yes? No? Which one is it? Don't be shy tell me." She chuckled slightly.

"...I can't tell you where I was. But all that matters is that I'm back and yes... I've missed you as well." Shalom returned the hug, and buried her face in your neck, inhaling the scent of your body which made goosebumps arise.

"I've heard what happened these past few months. I didn't know my y/n had the courage to stop two black rings," she sat on the chair as you did on the opposite one.

"It was my duty to interfere."

"Hmm? You've gone cold y/n. Did my absence affect you that much?"

"You-" you gritted your teeth before sighing.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you. Shalom I-"

"Shh~ no need to tell me more. I can clearly see how you feel."

"...what do you mean?" You hadn't realised you were crying until you felt a tear rush down your eyes. Quickly, you wiped it away before returning your gaze to a smiling Shalom.

"Why are you here?"

"I've been sent by the FAC to assist the MBCC on their tasks for the next few months."

"I don't need your help. The MBCC is capable enough to handle our own problems."

"Well... don't tell me... tell the FAC."

Facing the FAC was a big no for you. You already have problems with the Nineth Agency so you don't wanna get under the radar of the even higher ups.

You stood up and motioned for Shalom to follow you. The two of you walked through the MBCC building, showing Shalom around. When you arrived at the nurse's quarters, you were immediately greeted by Anne, who had a bright smile on her face. "Ah Chief, I've wanted to see you," she peeked behind you to see Shalom standing behind you with an expression you couldn't read.

"Who is that?"

"This is Shalom, she'll be assisting us for the next few months. Shalom, this is Anne my um... Nurse."

"Nurse? It's a pleasure to meet you Anne," Shalom smiled bitterly. Anne returned the smile.

"Likewise Shalom." Although no words were spoken after that, you could tell that a battle had started between the two. Anne didn't sense any good vibes from Shalom and Shalom didn't like the fact that Anne was close to you.

"Well uh-we-we-i have to keep showing Shalom around. I'll see you later, babe-um I mean Anne."

Anne looked at you with a raised eyebrow. Why did you change your nickname from babe to Anne. "Are we still on for tonight, Chief? I've bought a beautiful red dress that I'd love to try on for you!"

"Ah, yes yes I-we're still on." You nodded before hurriedly pushing Shalom out. The two of you headed back to your office where you immediately collapsed onto the couch.

"Anne huh? More like babe," she chuckled darkly. You didn't understand why she suddenly changed behaviour but all you understood was that Shalom was jealous and it was radiating off of her like perfume. "Do you think that the higher ups will let this slide, Chief?"

"T-they don't know."

"How long do you think this secret will be hidden? Eventually, they will find out. I advice you to quit your relationship with that nurse of yours." Something in her tone suggested that she was pissed.

"Okay? And why do you care all of a sudden about who I date huh?" Shalom chuckled as she straddled your lap, cupping your face while stroking your cheek.

"Because my dear Chief, you belong to me."

[steve-faglan]

Breaking and Entering

Reader x Steve Raglan/ William Afton

TW: NON CON, NON CON, NON CON!!!

Summary: You and your best friend, Mike decide to break into the old Freddy Fazbear's Pizza Restaurant to get high and explore the relics of your youth. It's all well and good until you realize you're not the only ones in the building.

PART TWO: HERE❤️

William Afton was widely known to be involved in the disappearance of several children during the years that Freddy Fazbear's Pizza was open. Because of this, he's renamed himself Steve Raglan and taken on the role of career counselor to ensure a security guard for his life's work.

Not only smart but extremely well coordinated, William navigates the halls and secret passageways of Freddy's today just as swiftly as he did in the 80's.

You'd been to Freddy's back in its glory days. You've seen the animatronics in their prime and even witnessed the tall yellow rabbit mascot that used to walk around, though he creeped you out, so you always steered clear.

Lately, college has been taking a toll on your mental state, so you decide to indulge in some good old-fashioned nostalgia in the form of "innocently" breaking and entering at Freddy's. Mostly you're just looking for a place to smoke a joint and think about anything other than your major you wish you'd switched a year ago.

"Come on, you said you'd go with me. No one's ever there, it's been closed since the fucking 80s, man," you plead with your friend Mike to join you.

"The temp agency just tried to get me to work there!"

"So then there's no security, right?!" You drive a hard bargain or maybe Mike's extremely obvious feelings for you influence all his decisions.

"Alright. I'll be over in 10. I'm putting Abby to bed." He caves and you giggle in victory before hanging up. While waiting for Mike, you roll a few joints, grab your CD player, and slide a lighter into your front pocket. The minutes drag by until you hear Mike's piece of shit car pull into your driveway. You bolt out the door and climb into the vacant passenger seat.

Mike can't help but stare at you for a minute. You're easily the most beautiful person in this town as far as he's concerned, but he can't bring himself to make a move considering his ever-complicated home life.

"Thanks for doing this, dude. School is kicking my ass." You smile at your friend, and he quickly turns away, hoping the night is concealing the blush on his cheeks.

The drive to Freddy's is short and exciting. It's been years since you've seen this place. Mike pulls into the furthest, darkest corner of the parking lot and the two of you devise a plan of entry. At the very back of the building, there are two large loading dock doors. With both you and Mike using all your strength, you get it open just enough to crawl through.

"Jesus Christ, what did I let you talk me into?" Mike coughs away the dust.

"Come on, this way!" You drag him by the arm, the blood in his face rising just from your touch. Anyone with two eyes could see how Mike felt about you, except you.

You and Mike sit on the floor, right in front of the main stage. The four, old robotic humanoid animals still occupy their spots, holding their respective instruments or props. Time has been unkind to them.

You spark up one of the joints and pass it back and forth to Mike. You each share a headphone as you stare into the tall, decrepit ceiling of the restaurant.

"You think the bathrooms here still work?" Mike asks, breaking the peaceful silence.

"Surely they do if they wanted you to work here, right?" You ponder the question further. "Maybe check the ones in the office area." You point to a door that you recall from childhood that leads to the "boring" part of Freddy's. You ended up there by accident and swore you heard screaming, so you never went back.

Mike disappears in pursuit of a restroom, leaving you by yourself on the large, open party floor. You light another joint and stare quizzically at the robots. You become lost in thought thinking about how lonely it must be here, after all this time.

"You've been waiting for an audience, haven't you?" You tilt your head. Mike's taking longer than you anticipated, so you grab the other headphone and place it in your vacant ear. The volume is loud enough for you to imagine the animatronic band playing it. For a moment, everything around you melts away. You close your eyes, reliving a carefree time in your youth.

"Y/N!!!" Mike barrels down the hall. He's sprinting around every corner, tripping and stumbling the whole way in fear and adrenaline. "GET OUT!! GET OUTSIDE!!" He screams, but you can't hear him. You can't hear a thing. Just as he's about to make physical contact with you, he's yanked backward. The large, yellow rabbit that used to freak you out drags Mike behind the kitchen doors before bludgeoning him over the head, knocking him unconscious.

"I thought you couldn't do nights, Micheal?" The rabbit man binds Mike's wrists together and drags him through the same doors as before. He securely fastens his restraints to a support beam and stands. Already a tall man, he towers in the suit. William Afton.

William slowly turns his head, looking right at you. You sit with your back to him, on the far side of the room, closest to the stage. He takes two steps before you glance behind you, wondering where your friend is. Your breath hitches in your chest when you're met with a giant bowtied rabbit. You glance behind him to see Mike's motionless body on the floor. Time's moving too fast to tell if he's alive or not, and you scream again before taking off toward the door.

The rabbit man gestures to the stage and begins to slowly stalk toward you.

"Stay the fuck away from me! What did you do to Mike?"

"I'll do a lot worse if you don't stop fucking screaming!" William's voice is robotic and warped through the automated helmet of the suit. He's inhuman to you. Your mind can't wrap your head around the fact that anyone is in the suit, let alone William Afton himself. You try to silence your wails, but you can't do anything to stop the terrified sobs. All you can do is think about Mike.

"I-Is he dead?" You whimper, in a state of shock.

"Not yet," is all the rabbit says before he advances on you, grabbing you with unnatural strength. Your arms are pinned by your sides and he lifts you off the ground with ease. Kicking and fighting does nothing but bruise you up, but you try regardless. You manage to free one arm, and in your hysteria, you knock the mascot's helmet off his head. The helmet falls with a heavy thud, but it's as if it's muted in the background as you stare at William. He stares back, unfazed by his revealed identity. It almost looks like he's smiling.

"W-W-W-"

"William," he growls before placing his steel-covered hands around your throat while you were too distracted to notice he'd sat you back down. You claw at the lifeless metal and cloth, but slowly, your vision becomes blurry, and then... Nothing.

Mike wakes before you. He recovers quickly as he realizes where he is. He searches for you frantically, but you're nowhere to be found.

"Y/N!" Mike screams, but there's no reply. He's alone in silence for a few minutes before the unmasked rabbit man appears carrying your wilted body. Mike begins to panic. "What did you do to her?!"

"Calm down, Micheal. She's just tired. She's gonna need her energy." William grins, sending a wave of nausea through Mike's stomach. "You should feel lucky, you get to watch." He steps out of the robotic suit revealing clothes similar to the ones he wore when he first met Mike, not long ago.

"Watch what?" Mike raises a brow. William doesn't reply, he just starts cutting the clothes off of your body. "What are you doing?! Don't fucking touch her!"

William laughs at him, licking the entire length of his middle finger and sliding it inside you while he stares at Mike. He continues to play with you, rendering Mike into a livid mess. William shakes his head, amused, continuing with whatever dark plan he's already hatched for the evening.

You have no idea how much time has passed, but eventually, you wake up. You groan as you try to sit up, only to find that you're bound to a tabletop in an X formation with your legs hanging off the side where your knees bend. There's a raggedy drape of cloth over your body and the dry, musty smell is enough to make you sick. You scan the room in a quiet panic, unable to move and truly study your surroundings. Quickly you spot Mike. His left eye is swollen and will surely be blacked by the time you get out of here... If you get out of here.

"Mike!" You try to yell, but it comes out as a strained wheeze after the damage William did to your throat. Mike locks eyes with you and that's when you notice how scared he looks, but not for himself. You furrow your brow and look in the other direction. There stands William. He's out of the suit now, standing over you with a devilish grin.

"Breaking and entering isn't a good look for either of you," William chuckles. "But especially you, sweetheart." William places a soft hand on your cheek. You recoil in fear.

"Don't fucking touch her!" Mike thrashes in his restraints. It's clear to you that Mike knows what's about to happen before you do.

"Please, we're sorry. We won't say anything to anyone, just let us-"

"Don't be cliche. You knew what you were doing and you did it anyway. This is someone's stuff, you know? Someone's livelihood."

"I'm sorry," you sob.

"You're gonna be," William hits the joint he commandeered from you, and after a long drag, he flicks it to the side and begins to unfasten his belt.

"No! No, no!" You plead, arching and bucking your hips in hopes of loosening the cables that secure you to the tabletop. Mike causes his wrists to bleed, but he still can't get free. William strokes his erection as he watches your helpless body writhe under the sheet. You accept your fate, horrified and humiliated, you look away, facing the stage. You quickly notice it's empty and your heart begins to race.

"They won't be joining us. This is for my- our eyes only." William releases a deep, taunting laugh and starts pumping his middle finger in and out of you again.

"M-Mike..." You try to ask for help, unsure of what he could do for you at this point, but desperate to be free. He won't even look at you now. He's slouched over, looking at the floor, trying to drown out the sensual wet sounds coming from William's fingers scissoring inside you.

"He doesn't want to save you, sweetheart. He wants to see you get fucked against your will." With his last word, he heaves the entire table closer to him, giving Mike a front-row seat to the show. Panic consumes you. Before you have the chance to beg for mercy again, William tears the unkempt sheet from your body, leaving you entirely exposed.

"No! Wait, please!" Your fight or flight response kicks in, but you're helpless to do either. The cables strain against the table, but you're unable to move an inch. You look back at Mike. He meets your gaze and the two of you share a knowing look before you feel William slide the head of his cock up and down your clit, soaking it in the arousal your body had no choice but to pool between your legs after the ways he touched you.

"You make it hard to believe you don't want it when you're dripping like this, sweetheart," William taunts. You squeeze your eyes shut, embarrassed and afraid, unable to watch the blood rise in Mike's face as he watches you get defiled. Just as you're sure William is about to slam into you with no mercy, he pulls away. You open your eyes and glance at him in confusion, hoping he's realizing he can just let you both go and that would be the end of it. But that's not the case.

William bends to knees, placing your soaked entrance right at the perfect height for him to consume you.

"Let's see how difficult I can make this for you." William buries his tongue in your wet folds, flicking the muscle delicately over your violated clit. You try as hard as you can to fight back any kind of reaction, but you fail. A soft, breathy moan slips from your lips like a note from a music box. William laughs against your sensitive skin.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry." Mike hangs his head in defeat, listening to the sounds of you succumbing to William's sensual touch.

"What are you sorry for? She loves it," William smirks before curling a finger inside you, eliciting another explicit moan from you. He regains his standing position and replaces the head of his erection at your pulsating entrance, waiting. "I've needed this. You have no idea how stressful it is to keep a place like this under wraps."

All you can think about is how stress got you here. All you wanted was a smoke session with your best friend in a cool venue, and now, here you are. You're jarred from your thoughts when William's massive erection drives into you. It's abrupt and painful, but your body gushes with arousal to make up for the stinging, pleasurable friction.

"No!" You scream. Mike fights against his restraints one more time, thrashing and sliding his body in any direction he can, but he's stuck. William throws his head back in ecstasy as he plows into you. He's fucking you like he's eating his last meal. Breathless grunts of focused pleasure fall from his chest. His rough, calculated hands find your breasts, toying delicately with your nipples.

You close your eyes and try so hard to escape the reality of the situation, but William lands a hard, heavy smack across your face, shaking you back into the moment. With a stern hand, he grabs your face and forces you to look at Mike. He's red-faced, enraged, and tired. You can't decide if you want him to look at you or not.

Mike mouths an "I'm sorry" to you, but all you can do is stare at him while William picks up his pace. Your vision is unsteady as he jostles you around.

"You've gone quiet. I think I need to fix that." He draws his hips back and in a split second, your eyes widen in fear before he slams into you at full force. A loud, moaning wail emits from you and the humiliation finally tears your gaze away from your best friend. "There she is," William smirks, steadying his thrusts yet again.

"Please... Stop..." You moan between gasps. Your orgasm is building at break-neck speed. The last thing you want is to climax around William's invasive erection, but it seems as if you have no other choice. The hitching breaths in your chest become loud, sultry moans. Your mind is too frazzled to focus on withholding any signs of enjoying him. Tears stream down your face, but you admit to yourself that you don't want him to stop.

Mike looks away for a moment, but can't help but stare at you. Your eyes flutter shut and your back arches so intensely. He watches the 'O' shape your mouth takes and imagines those same lips wrapped around him. He has to shift uncomfortably, hoping to conceal his already obvious bulge. After you've ridden out your high on William's cock, he slowly slips out of you. Taunting you.

William knowingly reaches under the table and unfastens whatever link was holding each of your extremities. Your hands instinctively find your most delicate, used areas.

"Don't touch yourself unless I say so," he snaps, taking your wrist in one of his strong, demanding hands. His riddance of contact allows your mind to clear from the climax and you're suddenly afraid again. A notorious serial killer is making you his toy.

"Let her go, you've had your..." Mike searches for the words, but he's unsure how to describe the vulgar scene before him. "Just let her go, man." He looks exhausted.

"Don't talk yourself out of a good thing, Micheal," William chuckles before shoving you to the ground in front of Mike. You land with a thud, releasing an involuntary whine of pain when you hit the hard surface. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"No! I-" Mike attempts to protest, but William cuts him off.

"Oh, please. You're not fucking her. Probably never will. Now you get to get off on the idea that it's being taken from her."

"You're a fucking monster!" Mike thrashes against his binds, protectively snapping at William like a guard dog.

"You want me to let her go?" William squats beside the two of you. You lie fucked-out and terrified, curling up next to Mike for some sort of dignity. William grabs your hair and sharply yanks you toward him. You release a high-pitched squeal and allow him to guide your head to Mike's pants zipper.

"What are you doing?" Mike shuffles uncomfortably.

"Don't make me wait," Afton snaps at you and you quickly reach a shaking hand for Mike's pants button.

"What are you doing?! Stop, let her go!" He tries to shake your hands away, noticing the waves of tears falling down your face as you already piece together what William might make you do.

"Mike, I-" you're cut off by William shoving your face into Mike's newly exposed crotch. He diligently bobs your head for you, fist still wrapped in your hair. The second you make contact with Mike's cock, he releases a deep, sensual sigh. Small moans fall out of him left and right, nothing he can do to stop them.

"Tell her to stop, Mike." William waits, but Mike is silent. You squeeze your eyes shut as more tears well up. "Tell her to stop, and I'll let you both leave right now." Silence.

"Mike?" You beg, relieving yourself from the forced fellatio. Mike doesn't look at you, he can't. William smirks and shoves your face back to work. He makes good use of your throat as you take Mike as deep as his shaft can possibly go, ignoring any protest from you.

Mike begins to pant heavily. Little whimpers escape his mouth as his orgasm builds.

"F-Fuck," he huffs before finishing down your throat. When William finally pulls you away, you're a choking, sobbing mess. Betrayal doesn't properly describe what you're feeling right now.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry, I- I don't-" Mike fumbled over his words, red-faced and breathless.

"Shut up, now. You had your turn." William lifts you from the ground with ease and throws you against the same table as before. This time, you're bent over it, presenting your ass to him like a trophy to be won. To be taken.

"Please let me go home. I want to go home..." You sob with your face pressed to the large party table. Mike's eyebrows upturn as he watches you cry. Guilt consumes him, and the helplessness of your cries only amplifies that. He's not sure why he didn't tell you to stop, he knew it was the right thing to do. But he was so enveloped in the feeling of your lips bobbing up and down his erection, how could he ever ask for it to end?

"Shhh, you're doing fine, sweetheart." Afton coos in your ear as he leans over you. He's so tall, it's nothing to him. He plays with your pussy for a moment, slipping a long, nimble finger inside you. His eyes roll back in his head as he tests how tight you are in this position. "Perfect."

William slips inside you, fucking you as if he didn't just screw you senseless not long ago. His large, calloused hand comes down hard on your right ass cheek, and a loud slap echoes through the empty restaurant. You release a cry of pain every time he lands a blow, and he does it a lot. You're fucked out, beaten, bruised, abused- everything.

"Plea-" you beg, but another HARD smack to the ass shuts you up.

"Shut up! I'm so... Fucking..." William slams into you one final time before you feel his cock twitching inside you, filling you up. "Close..."

"No!" You try to kick and fight and do anything in your power to stop him from cumming inside you, but it's entirely too late. You sob loudly as Mike watches in horror. William removes himself from you and his handiwork spills from your swollen entrance. Your weak knees wobble under your weight.

Afton looks at Mike and grins deviously before flipping you over and clasping his powerful hands around your neck. The sound of Mike pleading for your life becomes a dull mumble in the background as you slowly lose consciousness. Once you're out, William readjusts his rolled-up sleeves and lands a hard, knock-out punch on the side of Mike's skull.

He dumps you both in the back alley, unsure if you're both alive or dead. He doesn't care, he just doesn't need you here anymore.

Mike wakes up first, placing a gentle hand on his face and wincing at the pain.

"Y/N? Y/N!" He scrambles over to you and takes you in his lap. You're still naked and you're covered in bruises and scrapes, a testament to how hard you fought and how strong William is. "Please wake up. Please wake up, dude. This isn't funny."

You don't move.

"Please wake up! Wake up, Y/N! Wake up!" He repeats over and over, shaking you and lightly tapping your face with his open hand. Finally, you suck in a big breath. The sound of you inhaling causes Mike to jump, but he quickly pulls you into his embrace, relieved to see you alive.

"Mike..." You groan. He quickly sheds his jacket and wraps it around your crumpled form, hoping to give you some sort of cover. The two of you get into Mike's car and head back to your house. The ride back is mostly silent until he finally speaks.

"Y/N, I- back there, I..." He doesn't know what to say.

"I don't think he would've let us go anyway." You stare out the window in a state of shock, secretly reliving the way William made you feel.

"No- that's not the point. I mean-" Mike struggled with his words yet again.

"Do you think he let us live for a reason?" You finally glance at Mike. It's the first time you've looked at him since he filled your throat with an entire friendship's worth of pent-up feelings.

"I don't know, but it doesn't matter. We're never going back there, I promise." He's attempting to comfort you, but something depraved and demented inside you is already thinking about what he'd do if he got his hands on you again.

[livelaughlovesubs]

Rara’s unholy board story

(But I don’t have his artefact so only the first half-)

Anyway, I made this into a fic and connected some sentences. But I changed some wordings too, cuz they just made no sense or were difficult to read. Hopefully you don’t mind. Also, it could be that I made mistakes cuz it’s so long

Dom!reader x sub!raphael (that’s the direction the story took)

!Warning!: CNC (rape play), Bondage, chocking, SM play, marking, biting, punching, spitting, exhibition kink (he is being displayed in a club) and tell me if I forgot somehting

Word count: 8.5k (can’t believe I actually read through all that, multiple times ;-;)

“Phew...”Minhyeok's sighed, the warm breath formed something white and disappeared into the sky. Although Minhyeok didn't know, there were many eyes watching him nearby. One of the passengers whispered to their friend, “So handsome, is he alone?” “There's no way a handsome guy like that would be alone on Christmas.”A young woman's excited voice scattered throughout the cold, clear air.

“Uncle Minhyeok!!”Between voices of the conversing pair, a particularly loud and lovely voice reached him. The owner of the voice energetically made his way to Minhyeok, a black haired child ran into his arms.

Soon, another familiar voice reached his ears. “I made you wait.” Minhyeok smiled gently: “It's alright.” A man who looked like the child's father spoke to Minhyeok. The father and son also breathed out white air as they stood leisurely next to him. “Brother! You're here! What about your wife?” Minkyeok asked while patting his nephews head. His older brother responded, “Your sister-in-law is preparing Christmas presents at home. She told me to leave quickly before I get in her way.”

Now, it was the man whom Minhyeok called 'brother' who patted the head of the boy who was still hanging on to Minhyeok. That’s right, your best friend also had a married older brother who lived far apart from his parents who lived overseas. Minhyeok's brother was always concerned about leaving his studying little sibling at home alone, and brought his own family and Minhyeok to his wife's family this Christmas. Since Minhyeok knew that his brother was kind, accepted it gratefully. The three had come to a large, nearby park to see a 5-meter tall Christmas tree. It was completely dark and the lights on the trees seemed to shine unusually brightly.

“Is y/n alright?” The slightly taller male asked, turning to look at Minhyeok without even looking at the tree. “Yeah.”Minhyeok answered shortly. “I haven't seen them for a while now. Where did they go on a day like this? That y/n, without saying anything to me.” His tone was more that of a worried parent than disappointmentYou had also hung out with Minhyeok's brother like a childhood friend when they were young, so Minhyeok's brother thought of you as part of his family.

The little brother said, “She has a job to do. Still. She'll be sure to be back soon.”For some reason, Minhyeok couldn't meet his brother's eyes and lowered his own, then took his 5-year-old nephew who was under his legs into his arms as if to hide it. When his nephew's small palms hung around Minhyeok's neck, the child's characteristic warmth moved onto him. “Is she studying abroad or something..?”Minhyeok didn't answer and instead turned to look at the tree, until the little kid in his arms questioned him again, “Uncle Minhyeok, what did you ask for from Santa??”His nephew asked with expectation eyes, his uncle looked right back into the eyes of his adorable nephew, and stroked his flowing cheek with his index finger. “Although I probably can't get anything from Santa now... If I can, l'd like to ask him for the peace of someone precious to me.””Peace? What is peace? Does it mean you get stronger? How can you be at peace?”Those innocent eyes further questioned the male.

Minhyeok smiled gently, “This is peace. Where no one around you becomes hurt or dies, where everyone understands each other, and people can do what they want.” After finishing his explanation, his eyes turned to the star at the top of the tree. The stars were shining under a separate set of lights from the tree itself. “I want her to live like that where she is right now.”Minhyeok's voice seemed wistful. His brother stared wordlessly at him, but his nephew loosened his flowing cheeks into a huge smile. “Let's ask Santa! I hope your wish comes true!” The innocent smile made Minhyeok's eyes into a brighten. “Yeah. I hope it does.”Said Minhyeok, patting his nephew on his head. The star on top of the tree in front of him continues shining brightly.

Abyssos was flourishingly packed on this day of Christmas as well. In Abyssos, a country of gourmet food and a nation of revelers, it was natural to want to do anything that involves drinking and talking. The streets were alive with dancers in samba-like costumes even in the cold, and the smell of delicious food wafted through the air. Loud music was playing and the sounds of drinking and enjoyment echoed here and there.

‘Samba has nothing to do with Christmas though…’ was what passed your mind. It wasn't like Christmas, but it was befitting of Abyssos. In that place of such atmosphere, you felt dumbfounded but relieved at the same time. You came here under the invitation of devils from Abyssos and upon hearing that the Christmas parties in Abyssos were held splendidly, you just had to come.

“You just thought that the atmosphere in the streets have nothing to do with Christmas, right?”Said Naberius, bringing a roast turkey on a skewer he'd bought from a stall to your mouth. He was by no means offended by what you said, since he simply said it because he read your thoughts, but you felt somehow guilty and denied it hard. “No, I wasn't, nope.” But you accepted the skewer, realizing in hindsight that Naberius didn't mean it as a finger wag, but as a sincere meaning of telling you to "eat". Then, Naberius also nibbled on the turkey. “Ooh, this turkey surely feels like Christmas. It's delicious!” You said, after trying it. “I had this prepared as soon as I knew you were coming. I found out that humans eat things like chicken or turkey on Christmas.”Naberius offered the skewered turkey to your mouth again. You lifted it to your mouth and glanced at Naberius, wiping some of the sauce from the corner of your mouth. It was a little embarrassed in retrospect, because it didn't seem at all lover-like... But more like he was treating you like a child.

“Hey! Don't take my juice!!” “Huh? Did this belong to Stolas? I thought it was mine because it was in front oh me.” “I was holding on to it, how is it yours?!”On the other side next to you, Amon and Stolas were fighting over juice made from a bowl of fruit from the stall. Sandwiched between Naberius, Stolas, and Amon, you walked through the streets of Abyssos, barely making any progress as they kept stopping at every stall.

Eventually, you got curious about the well-being of the acting king, “How's Bael?”You felt rather melancholy at the shadow who alone wasn't here, although you wanted to meet everyone you wanted since you were here. “Working. As always. It's sad, although it's Christmas.” Amon responded, a hint of pity flashed across his features. “You have jobs to do too. I'm the only one who was ordered to guide.” Naberious said. Amon only answered out of pity for Bael, but Naberius looked dumbfounded.

“So what? It's been a while since I last went out for Christmas too.”Stolas dug into the meat happily. “Stolas, do you normally not celebrate Christmas?”When you asked dubiously to Stolas, he shook his head. “Hmm. Everyone is simply happy by the fact that it's Christmas for some reason. That annoys me and makes me want to kill them, so I don't go outside.” The black haired male took another bite from his skewer. “Stolas normally shuts himself in a dark room at this time. He's quite mature, unlike his looks.”

Amon said with a smile while recalling Stolas in his normal years, but it seemed to have triggered Stolas' inferiority complex as he yelled back. “What?! I'm an adult! Are you complaining about my looks too?! Shall I kill you then?!”

‘Dissatisfied at people who enjoy Christmas... I think I understand him a little.’ You didn't hate them to the point you wanted to kill them, but you could sympathize with Stolas to some extent. “I also don’t have many memories about Christmas. Y/n, make good memories with me today!” The devil with the unicorn horn nudged your shoulder. Just as you were about to feel compassion for Amon's lack of memories, Naberius slapped the back of Amon's head with a loud thud. “That's because you always hide and sleep, regardless of whether it's Christmas or not! Christmas is noisy like this every year so we have to go and patrol the place!”Even when Naberius blamed Amon, Amon didn't even make eye contact with him, and just took your hand and put it next to his cheek.

“Ha ha... Oh, anyway. You celebrate Christmas in Hell too.”You felt a little embarrassed at Amon's action and spoke up as if to hide it. Naberius walked next to you and looked around. “We're not exactly celebrating anything. We just need a reason to chat. Before the war broke out, everyone was celebrating every day, even the birthdays of people they didn't even know. I honestly think it's good that things are a little more subdued now.”Said Naberius, but he was actually hiding a degree of loneliness.

You hastily changed the subject again at his expression, “Is there no such thing as Santa?” Then, something warm climbed on your shoulder before waiting for Naberius to reply.

“Satan’s here.”Before you could react to the familiar voice, Naberius reacted first. “Your Majesty...!”It was Beelzebub, the king of Abyssos who stood behind the four of you and placed his hand on your shoulder. “You're back?!” “It's his Majesty...! It's his real Majesty...!!”The devils spoke without hiding their joy. When Beelzebub was in front of them, they looked like young men and not soldiers.

“I heard y/n was coming. But humans need Santa on Christmas!”Beelzebub winked, with a white bag over his shoulder. “So, here. Take this. A present for our y/n. I thought you would need it. This is for Naberius. I have something for you too.”the tanned man took presents out of his white bag like a real Santa and passed things around. “Thank you!!”Naberius thanked him, then opened the adorably wrapped small box he was given, he found a doll of a dog with glasses. The doll had a horizontal crack in the center, and you could open it up like a box, which you could open again to reveal a smaller doll of a dog, and you could open it up to reveal an even smaller doll of a dog...

‘A dog Matryoshka?’ You thought to yourself, you had seen similar ones in souvenir shops on Earth. Beelzebub grinned brightly, “I found it while wandering around other countries. It seemed to resemble you.”Afterwards he gave Amon an unicorn keyring, a pendant to Stolas, a T-shirt of the country flag for Bael...

“They all suit them.”Beelzebub smiled like an innocent boy. “Your Majesty! I am elated!! Thank you!!” Naberius stared at the small doll. Stolas hold the pendant in his hand and eyed it up and down, “Ooooh, it's nice. I'll decorate my room with this!”The subjects who received presents were most honored and happy. If they had tails, they would be wagging them like crazy. “I will treasure it until my next life...!” Amon whispered, which you thought was a little over the top.

“Ha ha ha, sure. Y/n, open yours too.” Beelzbub seemed eager to see your reaction and handed the bag to you. “Okay!” You were quite exited too, wondering if your present was a souvenir from another country too. When you opened the wrappings and put your hand inside the envelope, it seemed like there were more than one thing inside. Suspicious, you reached inside and find a devil's red horned headband in your hand. Other than that, there were red wings of a devil, a red leash with collar, a red ball gag, and a devil's tail.

“…What's this?” You hesitated, holding the items carefully. Beelzebub smiled in satisfaction as you grabbed the devil's tail, which had breads at the end to insert into your bottom, and uttered in disbelief. “I thought it would suit you perfectly! You can role-playing a devil with this, or just use and enjoy it comfortably as you want. He winked at you as he spoke, as if he had just purchased a very convenient piece of furniture. ‘It’s certainly something you can only see in hell, getting adult toys for Christmas…’ It was different from the souvenir you imagined, but since beel looked so proud of himself, you decided to protect his ego.

“Yeah, thanks for the thoughts, i’ll…use it well.” You thanked Beelzebub with a small smile, then put his presents back inside the bag and put it between your armpits. “Is this a Christmas miracle that I met his Majesty?!” Said Amon in delight, holding the unicorn keyring to his eyes. “Christmas miracle?” Thanks to Amon, you were able to change the topic at hand. When you returned his unfamiliar words with a question mark, Naberius answered. “Ever since long ago, mysterious things happened to this world on Christmas. So it's natural for strange things to happen on Christmas to us.” He said, hugging the doll-dog he preciously got and nudging his glasses back up.

Beelzebub stroked the back of your head and continued. “According to the rumors, they're phenomenon from a human wish being fulfilled or the work of God... But I also think there's no need to think about things you don't know too.”The tanned man spoke lightly, but his words always seemed to be half joking half truth. ‘I don't think anything can surprise me in Hell now...’ after the extraordinary presents you got, this didn’t seem that strange anymore. You were already aware of the fantasy like connection between Hell and earth, so you were ready to accept anything.

“Y/n, go on a date with me on Christmas too.”Said Beelzebub, bringing his face closer to yours. Your heart instantly sped up at the sudden closeness, maybe because of that handsome face, or because you were feelingly slightly uncomfortable. “Wait for me, I'm going to give presents to the others as well...”Said Beelzebub, before he suddenly stopped talking. Then, he turned immediately and looked up at the sky. “Beelzebub? What's going on?”As you turned with him, wondering what was going on, the sky lit up and some of the clouds that had been spread out opened up. Then a flash of light connected heaven and earth, like a path of light in the air.

BAM!!!

Immediately after you perceived it, a deafening explosion erupted at the end of your sight and pummeled your ears. Devils screamed near the place the sound seemed to originate from. It shook the ground, even though it had happened earlier, and wind rustled with the impact.

“What's that.?!”While you widened your eyes and froze with surprise, the two devils moved on right away. “Shall we go?” The king asked his subordinates. “Yes!”Responded the man with glasses. “We'll go first. Your Majesty, please take care of y/n.”At Beelzebub's single sentence, the devils instantly disappeared in the direction of the sound in unison.

You and beelzbub arrived a little later, since he walked with you out of consideration. There it was, the source of the loud sound, you couldn’t make out the figure because it was dusty. The ground on which he had fallen had caved in with many cracks. A shattered stall was covered in rubble nearby, and a devil stood with several meat skewers in his hands.

“Ahh..! Your Majesty! You're here!”The panicked devil in an apron turned pale and ran to Beelzebub. “That guy just fell out of the sky and...! He's been eating my meat and destroying the stalls! He did the same to other stalls, so the neighborhood was pretty much decimated...!”The owner of the stall gestured and pointed to the figure in question that had fallen from the sky. “I see, alright. It's dangerous so you should stay away.”Beelzebub said to the owner and moved closer to the scene.

It was the middle of a street lined with food stalls, and the figure was eating whatever meat he could get his hands on. The devils who were nearby were being protected behind Naberius who had arrived earlier. Naberius bared his teeth and raised his eyebrows to threaten the mysterious figure, while Amon and Stolas stood stern and ready to strike.

“My, this is surprising.” Said Beelzebub, although he wasn't too surprised. ‘Huh? Could that be...!’ You had seen the man in the center of everyone's attention. A blond man with an eye patch and band aids covering the cuts on his face was in the center of the attention. You wanted to ask beelzbub who that was, then your questions got answered by the surrounding Devils.

“I-it's Raphael...!” “Raphael!? Are you talking about Raphael, agent of heavenly punishment!?” “I heard that he annihilated hundreds of devils in armies alone, saying that it's divine punishment...!” “Not only devils...! I heard that he even beheads colleagues if he doesn't like them..!” “He's the Red Angel because he's always soaked in blood!?” “Eek, is that really the angel of carnage? We'll be killed...!!”

The nearby devils stirred with rumors about Raphael and clamored. Standing alone in the center of Abyssos, unperturbed by the chaos around him, the man slowly glared in your direction and bit into the meat skewer in his hand.

“You scum, why are you here? Do you want to die at our hands?”Naberius bared his teeth and snarled with wariness and hatred. Despite his threats, Raphael didn't flinch in the slightest, nonchalantly fiddling with one of his finished skewers. “What for...? Weren't you guys the ones who called me?” Said Raphael, and wiped the gravy from his mouth with the top of his hand. And then, he pointed at each of the destroyed stalls. “It was pretty good, but there were small amounts. That stall is slow in giving me the meat, too clumsy. And that stall over there doesn't have the sauce I want.” Raphael said slowly, folding the skewers in half. “Can you give me what I want?” The blond angel had a threatening aura, he seemed like a beast you couldn't talk to. In contrary to you, Beelzebub stepped in front of you and stroked his chin in observation.

‘What's happening? What is that angel talking about?’ You looked bewildered and said nothing, but so did the devils around you. “Looks like you're not here to have fun. Then... Are you here to have me murder you?” When Beelzebub said with a smile but a murderous look in his eyes, the tension only tightened. “Oh? Do you wish for me to punish you?” A slight smile appeared on Raphael's face. Then, he spat out the meatbone he was chewing at Beelzebub. The bone straight flew at terrifying speed toward Beelzebub, but it missed and hit the wall behind him with a bang.

“You scum, what are you doing to his Majesty!!” Amon put his hand inside his clothes and swiftly drew out a small gun.

Bang bang bang!!!!

Bullet shots could be heard echoing thought the place, but the bullets he shot at Raphael missed him, and dug into the wall precariously behind him. “It missed...!?” Amon looked dubious as though his bullets could never miss, and Beelzebub only stared at him. ‘No way, Amon missed...!’ You winced with nervousness and absentmindedly hugged the bag of gifts Beelzebub had given you.

“Move!!” Ка-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka!! Stolas hugged his beloved Thompsons in both his arms and shot them in quick succession at Raphael. Although Raphael had barely moved, the bullet went off track and dodged him. “Ha!? Why is this happening!!” “Stolas, you should consider the surroundings too!” Naberius warned him. Stolas's bullets hit the stalls around Raphael in turn, creating a honeycomb where there had been no damage before. Just then, Beelzebub who had been watching pulled a whip out of nowhere and attacked Raphael. The curving tip of the whip bounced in front of Raphael like a magnet repelling the same poles.

“Huh...!?” You couldn’t help but gasp out. The definitely strange movement made not only you but also the surrounding devils stir. You were watching nervously in case Raphael used his powers to counterattack. ‘Is there anything | can do...!?’ While you racked your brains in panic, Beelzbub looked deep in thoughts, “Hmm. It looks like that.” The avatar of gluttony murmured and lowered his whip. You stared at Beelzebub's back in puzzlement, as if he had given up the fight. “Beelzebub, what is the meaning of this...? What's like that?” “I told you that strange things happen on Christmas.” “No way... Is it indeed the Christmas miracle?” Wise Naberius seemed vaguely aware of it, though he spoke without as much agitation as you. “Must be. It's a Christmas miracle.” Beelzbub said and turned to look at you. Something clicked in your head, now it made sense, ‘oh…!’

[Ever since long ago, mysterious things happen to this world on Christmas.]

‘Someone's wish must have been granted. But those wishes are always granted in unexpected ways. That's a Christmas miracle.’ That was when you finally recalled Naberius' words. “Does that mean... That's why your attacks won't work?” Raphael frowned and covered his ears with his fingers as you widened your eyes in surprise and spoke in a loud voice. “Shut up... Speak loudly only when you're about to die, human.” At Raphael's lazy, sullen tone, Beelzebub walked slowly toward him and continued. “I think that's why you fell out of the sky. Or, were you banished from Heaven?” Beelzebub sneered.

The angel pointed an uneaten skewer from his hand at the king, “A Christmas miracle...? Shall I try it out? I can keep fighting and kill each other until my attacks do.” Raphael was angry at Beelzebub's behavior and was acting provocatively, while beel didn't hesitate to open his mouth wide in response to Raphael's insolence. Instead, he jammed the skewer Raphael was pointing at him deep into his throat and bit down on it, skewer and all, before Raphael withdrew his hand. The crackle of breaking the thick wooden skewer mixed with the sound of chewing meat. Raphael looked satisfied, and beel swallowed the whole thing, then opened his sauce-covered mouth.

“Alright, follow me. I know a good place. Shall we do it somewhere we can enjoy Abyssos while we're at it?” Beelzebub's smiling face and black aura sent chills down the spines of the devils around him.

“Here.” A few hours after this happened, Bael led you to a store. When Beelzebub said they should go somewhere else, you said you would follow. But Beelzebub looked like he had other plans, “Come here with Bael at night.” And left with those words. He and Naberius helped clean up the wreckage, then returned to the palace to tell Bael about it... And so it came to pass. Anyway, he had left before you could ask him about the location, and it took you some time to find the place he meant. In the end, it was deep into the night when you two arrived.

“That idiot...! He should tell us where if he's going to tell us to come...!” Bael had to figure out where Beelzebub was using only the information he left behind: 'A place to enjoy Abyssos.' The man with the crown opened the door with a trembling hand, as if he was afraid this was the wrong place in the end. “Bael, what kind of store is this?” You ponded, the sign in front of the entrance wasn’t very informative. As you walked through the door and into the store, you were greeted by loud, erotic music and reddish lights. The deeper you went in, the more you heard the customers' devilish cheers.

“Ah, this is the Abyssos SM club.” “Ooh... An SM club... Huhhh..?! An SM club?!” You were startled by Bael's nonchalant reply. “Yeah. Have you never been to one before? That's interesting.” Bael suddenly walked on coolly as though he had entered a karaoke, as if he was used to it, but you in turn felt excited. ‘I always wanted to try. A SM club...! I look forward to it!’ Because you advanced with anticipation, you almost forgot about your original goal. Until you saw a shocking sight in the middle of the room when you entered the spacious interior of the store.

Surrounding Devils were screaming, cheering and laughing, all while pointing their phones in one direction. “Ha ha ha ha! Yeah!” “Resist some more!!” “Look into the camera!” There was a writhing someone chained to a standing seat surrounded by customer devils. His hands were chained together behind his head, and his legs were also bound together tightly. The only thing holding him up was a single leg, and the rest of his body was tangled in multiple chains, immobilized. The bound person was..

“R-Raphael...!!” The angel Raphael who had fallen to Abyssos a while ago. Raphael's pale skin was stained red with chain marks, which seemed to dig into his flesh with every twist and turn of his body. The reddish lights were all on him, he was definitely the highlight of the club.

“W-what's going on?” You widened your eyes at the incomprehensible sight and headed toward the center of the store. Even though he was restricted, he swayed and rattled his chains, looking like a defeated beast in your eyes. “I will kill you!!! Come here!!!”While Raphael groaned and spat, leaving himself to the rage, Beelzebub stood in front of him with a whip and a satisfied look on his face. The moment you and Bael saw Beelzebub, you both ran towards him.

“Beel!” Surprised and confused, Bael reached Beelzebub through the throng of audience devils, and Beelzebub briskly greeted him. “Oh, you're here. Bael, it's been a while. I was waiting. You're late.” “You. What is all this? I thought your attacks didn't work because of the Christmas miracle?” Even though they hadn't seen each other in a long time, Bael was unable to respond to Beelzebub's light tone, as he asked Beelzebub in confusion about what you told him. “We weren't the only ones who couldn't attack, he couldn't attack either. This is probably that wish. I hope everyone can get along or something like that. Anyway, it's a good opportunity, right? If he can't attack, then he can't handle power coming from great numbers, and he went wild as soon as he came so we tied him up, but since we already went through the trouble to tie him up, we might as well teach him about our favorite role-play and have some fun. It was hard tying him up here!”

The carefree man spoke gleefully and struck the floor with a single crack of his whip, the impact of which produced a crackling sound. It wasn't the kind of whip he usually used in attack, but the kind he used for role-play in this shop, with the words [Who the Hell is God?] engraved on the hilt. Now that you looked, the inside of the store was a mess, proof that Raphael had already thrown a huge tantrum.

“The descendant of Solomon is here too!!! Perfect! I will sweep this place at once and bestow divine punishment on both human and devils!!” Raphael exhaled white murderous energy and shook his chained body vigorously, causing a rattling, clanking sound. He was like a furious dog on a leash, and somehow you thought his angry from was pretty adorable. ‘Maybe because this is an SM club... Even when he rebels with wrath, it looks cute.’

“Ha ha ha. How cheerful. True, since he's here, we might as well teach him the fun, devil way or role-play.” Bael laughed at Raphael as though it was funny. He was always gentlemanly and soft toward you, but a devil was indeed a devil. “Right?”Beel also curled the corners of his lips in amusement. “Alright, y/n. I'll leave it to you.” Your heart skipped a beat in surprise at the sudden mention of your name. “Huh? Leave what to me?” “Are you pretending that you don't know?” Beelzebub leaned in close to you and spoke to you in a suggestive manner, his index finger brushing across your chest.

“What we devils all want and like to do, let's have a Christmas party here.” The king standing in front of you closed in, signed into your ear with a low voice, and that alone send a shiver down your spine. For good or bad reasons. “I think you have something we could put to use as well.” He pointed at the bag in your arms. It was the gift you received from Beelzebub earlier, the one you still held in your hand as you ran out of the palace in a panic.

‘Right, I had this...!’ You pulled out the ornaments from your pocket: a devil's red horn, red wings, a ball gag, a necklace, and a red collar. A stereotypical devil cosplay set. Raphael began to struggle more furiously at the sight of the adult toys. “You..!! What are you trying to do to me with that!! Let there be divine punishment!!! No, even if it isn't divine punishment, I-I'll...!!” While Raphael desperately struggled, devils around you laughed and took pictures with their cell phones, you felt a little sympathetic to him. ‘What should I do... Can I do this to an angel...? I wasn’t even planning on using those on him…anyway, SM-play? So I have to take the lead…?’ You fitted the ball gag on Raphael's cursing, yelling mouth. “Shut up.” Your tone was harsh, way more than you intended, you could feel your blood rush at this change of events.

“Mmm-! Mmmph!” Raphael kept yelling under the gag, but you couldn't understand him. While Raphael flailed in all directions, you also put the devil horns on him as well. Damn it, the blondie thought, wondering if he could do anything to the leery chains clinging to his body. Raphael struggled desperately, but whenever he moved, the chains clinked over each other more firmly and tightly. Thanks to them tightening, his movements were even more restrained, you were able to fit the devil wings on him with ease. And when you looked around the club, the sign 'Who the Hell is God?' decorating the walls caught your eyes. It seemed to be the name of the store, which had also been carved on the whip earlier, and the sign was displayed high up as a symbole of this SM club.

“You found something good.” Bael noticed your gaze and took the sign down with his hand. He was also enjoying this strange situation very much. “Thanks.” You took the sign and was about to hang it on Raphael's neck. “Mmm!!! Mmmph!!”The man you were planning on decorating shook his head in displeasure, but the placard which looked like a sign eventually decorated his chest. He glowered even more at you. The look in his eyes said he would never forgive you, a growing and burning hatred present in those red pupils. But that didn't matter to you right now. The devils around you were watching you with expectant eyes, and you had no choice but to do something. Even though you were still baffled by the situation, it didn't stop you from feeling some kind of excitement. What horrible thoughts you were having, to think you weren’t even surprised by the situation. Next, you picked up the necklace and put it on your index finger, twirling it as if to show it to Raphael.

“This will suit you nicely too.” You snickered. “Mmmm-!!” Unlike you, who was in a good mood, Raphael resisted and shook his head vigorously. ‘Don't make me laugh. Do you think I would do anything as disgusting as that?!’ He thought to himself, unable to voice out his opinion. Raphael still growled under the gag, and his spit was already flowing down the ball and his chin. The now furious looking man flailed and struggled to kick you, but his feet obviously never touched you. You took no offence and simply dodged Raphael who kept trying to kick you away. Tugging on the golden cross that adorned Raphael's ear and making him bow his head, then you pressed your lips to his ear.

“Today’s Christmas, isn’t it? Let’s do something fun.”Before he could register your words, you bared your teeth and bit Raphael’s ear. Crunch!! When you set your teeth on Raphael's white, thin ear and bit down, the ear cartilage crunched in your mouth. You receded and blew in his ear. “Ughhh!”Raphael shook his head at your action, and you drew away. His ear had turned red and had distinct teeth marks on it. You looked at the indentation, like the marks of a healed earring hole, and felt a little sad. “I must have not bit hard enough...”

You were deep in thought and looked at Raphael's reddened ear, while he was floundering his chains. “Mmmm!!!! Aghhhh!!” With rage dominating his mind, Raphael was bellowing and groaning like an animal in captivity.

How many humans on Earth would consider him to be an angel?

He looked ready to rip your throat out if only his chains were broken. In particular, he was a Seraph who believed that his beloved God had disappeared because of Hell and humans. This situation where he was a spectacle to humans or devils he considered to be vermin evoked woe and fury Raphael had never felt before. ‘I will do anything to exterminate you!!!’ The angel thought.

Your heart leapt at the sight of Raphael's neat and always scarred face, glaring at you and the devils around you as he glowered at you with murderous intent. The feeling of training and taming a beast who knew nothing other than the feeling of rage filled you, anticipation began to swell in your heart.

‘He really is like a beast...’ That thought flashed your mind multiple times. Even if you felt overwhelmed by Raphael's rage, you thought you would feel like you were losing if you stepped back here.

‘I don't know what exactly I have to do... But let's do what I like first.’ You determined yourself. “I think you need this...” After finishing your sentence, you could feel his eyes wander to your hand. You were unbuckling the red leash and unraveled it completely to loop it into a round shape. Then, you took it behind Raphael's neck while he struggled and kicked, trying to keep you from putting the buckle over him. You payed him no mind, and pulled the end of the belt to make the ring of the collar smaller and smaller before putting it through the hole that fit the size of his neck.

“Ugh, urghhh...”Raphael was being slowly strangled, his scarred face slowly turned red and his resistance weakened. ‘What a pretty expression..!’ You ran your tongue over your lips, your heart pounding at the sight of Raphael being like that. The faster your heart beat, the harder you unconsciously pulled. His consciousness slowly faded as his oxygen was being cut off, but you relaxed your grip at the right time. Then, air began to fill Raphael's body again.

You repeated your actions, chocking him repeatedly. It was addicting, you liked his pitiful expression so much that you felt bad. This continued until you were satisfied, and Raphael's eyes began to bead with tears from physiological reaction.

‘This human... And the devils... I will condemn them with the worst punishment...’ This was the thought Raphael held on to, despite his white, fading consciousness. For you, it was purely an act of mutual pleasure, but for Raphael, it was pure torture. Unlike you and the devils who envied Raphael for his suffering, Raphael's thoughts were filled with humiliation and bitterness. He felt dirty, he felt fury and angry like never before. At least, that’s what he believed.

‘How painful, how pleasant it would feel...!’ You were excited to see him staring at you with tears in his eyes even as he struggled to breathe, it was erotic and fuelled your twisted desires. The uncertainly you once had was now replaced with new confidence. So you smiled at him, all while you felt yourself getting wet between your legs.

“Yeah! He's beginning to make lewd expressions!” The surrounding devils turned feverish at Raphael's pain. Regarding a devil glancing at bills in happiness, you let go of Raphael's neck. “Ha! Cough, cough, huff... puff...”Raphael was collecting oxygen desperately like a drowning man. He wanted more than anything to articulate even under the ball gag, but he couldn't do anything about his body’s survival instinct. You smiled at Raphael who had turned slightly more docile.

“Did you feel good? Everyone is having fun watching you, Raphael. If you make a prettier face, you'll receive even more compliments.”Watching Raphael contort his face in pain made a whirlpool of dark thoughts within you. It’s true that you warmly praised Raphael, but you also wanted to turn him into a complete mess. You reached for Raphael's shirt and slowly pulled it up. Both you and the raucous devils were dazzled by the skin that showed from his abdomen.

‘Pretty...!’ It was a smooth, beautiful one, the reddish lights of the club reflected on his perfect skin. One had no choice but to believe that God made it, a perfection only God could creat.

“Mmmmm!!” Raphael screamed his protests loudly, even to the point of stopping his rapid breathing, but all he could manage was a groan under the ball gag. When his upper body began to emerge from beneath his clothes, it revealed his toned abs, which served as proof of his strength. But what caught your eyes more than his muscles were the numerous body piercings. Chains, buttons, dozens of crosses… all that metal on his body showed his love and loyalty to God, his body was a canvas of his dedication.

“Wow, you have many piercings... It's really sexy.”On Raphael's lightly pigmented body, the silver chain on his belly glistened and looked bewitching in your eyes. Even his devotion to God was only a source of excitement for you here and now, should you feel bad for being a sinner? Raphael had been exposed to the devils and humans he wanted to destroy, and now even his love for God was being watched with an evil eye. This made him feel rage and violation he had never felt before spread throughout his body. “Mmmmm-!!!”The angel groaned endlessly, but you only pulled his clothes up higher. Once you passed the piercings that seemed to be driven into his body, you saw his light pink nipples, and those also had piercings of crosses hanging from them.

“Wow, you even have piercings here!”The excitement was immense, you couldn’t wait and pushed his clothes up to the top, then fixed it under the sign you hung from his neck. ‘Stop!!! Don't touch me!!’ Raphael begged to god in his mind, each time he writhed and struggled, the piercings on his chest also shook. ‘Lovely. Did you... Pierce them yourself?’ You ran your fingers over the piercings that jiggled on Raphael's nipple with a look of pure admiration.

Piercings he wasn't wearing to show anyone, since he never revealed any skin. Watching the hidden thing made you feel as though you saw something special and it bobbed and swayed, the nipples pouted and rose under its weight. Seeing something he obviously had no intention of showing you only turned you on even more. ‘There are piercings on a pretty body. That's so lewd...! I want to make more holes on it...’ This was truly hypnotising, you were drawn into him and bit his nipple, piercings and all. ‘Urgh...!’ Raphael bent over even more. He was chained, so the angle was slight, but if he hadn't been restrained, he would have arched his back further.

‘Damn it..!! Stop it!!!’ Raphael never even contemplated the possibility of anyone other than God or himself touching his naked body. There was a clink of chains hitting each other. You held his waist tightly so he wouldn't buckle and wobble. The grip you had on his was rough, it felt weird and unfamiliar for the angel. You rolled your tongue over his buds, the feeling of Raphael's hard and erect nipple, as well as his cross piercing made you most ecstatic.

‘It's me who's licking, but his reactions are amazing… and the feeling of cold metal is pretty good too…I want to bite it more…I want to lick it more...’ Once you thought so, you couldn't stop yourself. You began to lick his entire body as if washing it with your tongue, teasing him all over. Your tongue traveling from his nipples to his navel then his lower body. At the same time, just thinking about the pleasure he must be feeling made you feel wet between your legs without even stimulating it.

Your tongue quickly reached the soles of his chained feet. He kicked his bound legs as you licked each pierced toe down to the sole of his foot. “Mmmmm-!!!” Licking the soles of someone's feet must be a humiliating act, yet you did it so effortlessly with a look of ecstasy on your face. And Raphael shuddered with disgust and some fear. “There are still many more parts that look delicious.” You whispered quietly. Regardless of his thoughts, you were feeling interested in Raphael’s other body parts. Spinning a thread of saliva, you lifted your tongue from the sole of his foot and tore at the arm of his shirt with all your might. You also tore his pants at the thighs, which had been lifted by the chains. After they ripped, you bit down on his body without hesitation.

‘Don't touch me!!!’ Raphael thought, then squirmed, but you took hold of his foot and bit into it like a fruit. At the same time, you tugged on the piercing at the end of his nipple hard enough to make the pale pink nipple turn red. “Ahhh..!”The poor angel shook in a reaction that was part protest, part pleasure. This sight of a pretty angel being defiled was a work of art. Watching his white skin stain red, his upper body still untouched by anyone's hands, writhing about was so lascivious that it fed your fetishes.

Raphael's reactions heated up the devils in the SM club. One of the devils was licking the end of the whip, as though he wanted to do it as well. Another devil flapped his bills in front of his face and approached Raphael. The surrounding devils started to cheer again, “You really are an obscene angel, I envy you, but thank you that you did this for us.” Then, he tossed the bills in Raphael's face and twisted it in the torn arm of his shirt. Afterwards, a few other devils also approached to add their bills between his torn clothes. Even when Raphael tried to kick them away, it was of no use. He glared at each and every one of them, looking as if he might shed tears of blood. ‘I shall never forget this humiliation..! I will punish them with my life!’

He couldn't believe he'd fallen into Abyssos without knowing why, and he was being punished for it when he was normally the one doing the punishing. Rage dominated to the top of his head, and he unconsciously shuddered. Then, the halo behind Raphael's head began to shine brightly. The light seemed to be shining to purify this store, or to erase everything. But Raphael's reaction only made you happier. ‘What is this...! A phenomenon neither devils nor humans can cause...Looks like there are more fun things lying in wait...!’ You felt your heart thump out of anticipation of what would happen now.

Your eyes moved from the shining halo to stare at Raphael’s side profile as he glared at the devil with the bills in hand. Ptui. Your spit hit the band aid on his cheek and slowly slid down. ‘Look over here too.’

Was all you had to say, you wanted to keep his attention on you, to have Raphael turn to you, rather than the surrounding devils. His gaze did wander to you, glaring at you menacingly, his eyes showed a hint of confusion mixed with anger. Raphael's terrifyingly white, murderous energy was swallowing you whole. You knew the angel, who had been on a rampage up to this point was quietly raging, and the murderous intent was dedicated at only you. When Raphael's halo shone particularly brightly and tried to wallow you…

Slam!!

You hit his stomach with all your might. Although you never hit anyone on Earth or in Hell, you saw Satan use violence with love (you weren't sure, but it looked like it to you) to his colleagues. Since you recalled it, you copied him and punched Raphael. It wasn't an attack. You were striking Raphael's stomach with love like an instructor. While you did that, your eyes were shining red like Satan's.

“Argh...!!”The vigor made both the piercings on his upper body and body quake. When his piercings swayed, you were turned on again. “You shouldn't think of standing up to me.” Whack!! “I just want you to enjoy it.” Thump!! With each sentence, you punched him in the gut. Bruises were forming on his stomach.

‘Ugh, if only I had more power in my arms...! If only | had more power to punish them...!!’ Raphael was feeling nervous, that he couldn't do anything about being overwhelmed for the first time, about his helplessness and vulnerability. You, on the other hand, were tormenting Raphael with your mouth and hands, and yet you were rejoicing in the return of his attention to you.

You pulled the piercing on his belly button and bit the upper half of his body. “Ugh, ughhh...” followed with your fangs which bared and bit into the flesh as if to tear a larger hole in his pierced body. Meanwhile, you stroked Raphael's groin over his pants. “Ughh..!” And his body flinched at that very harshly. His nerves and senses which had only been focused on being bitten by you a moment ago were now focused on his lower part. The unexpected touch of his intime part suddenly added an additional stimulus to the sensations whirling inside his body. It felt even more intense, because he had only been paying attention to your bites. The reaction made the surrounding devils cheer loudly.

Meanwhile, Beelzebub and Bael were biting their lips to stop themselves from laughing with quaking shoulders. “Ahhhhhhh..! That's a cute reaction, even though they only touched it for a second, hahaha!” Beelzbub declared with an amused tone. “Huhuhu, don't laugh too much. Beel. He's an angel so there's nothing he can do about it. Hehe...”

The booing reaction of the two devils made Raphael feel ashamed for the first time since he was made by God. ‘What was that... Feeling just now...!’ He panicked at the stimulation he'd never felt before and the way his body reacted. You had little regard for the surrounding cheers, and the fact that Raphael was panicking was unbeknownst to you. In contrary, you were glad that Raphael was reacting, so you nibbled on him and groped his lower body more feverishly.

“Mmm, mmmh...” Accustomed to the pain of having his body pierced, Raphael began to feel strange at the gentle treatment. Somehow he took a little pleasure in conjunction with the stimulation of his lower body. His member which had grown harder and more erect than when you first touched it began to clearly announce its existence. ‘Why... Why are you getting harder!’ Raphael was crying internally. ‘I'm reacting to it, so does this mean that God brought this pleasure to me…!?’ He couldn’t help but stare at his ever-growing lower body in bewilderment, thinking that there couldn’t be anything meaningless about the body created by the God he worshipped.

“Is it your first time touching it?” You smiled pleasantly at Raphael's novice-like reaction and asked. “I'm presented with your first time? What a great Christmas present...” Almost wanting to hum to yourself, you unbuttoned Raphael's pants and unzipped it.

“Ooooh...!” “Finally...” The surrounding devils gulped as though they were the ones violating Raphael. Their hands were slowly massaging themselves at the sight of the pretty angel. When you unbuttoned his pants, his underwear appeared, and those were stained with his fluids. Your hand cupped his bulge gently, caressing it even. Raphael’s face finally catches colours and flushed, his figure kept trembling and squirming around.

“Mmmm-!” To touch somewhere neither God nor himself had touched… being humiliated like this by devils and the descendant of Solomon who must be the reason God disappeared… moreover, his lower body was reacting regardless of his intentions...!

Raphael felt like he was going crazy.

The despair and terror of losing control of his body was an emotion he hadn't felt since God disappeared. ‘My body turning strange!! It’s all because I touched this filthy being!!!’ In the end, the blond man blamed you for everything.

Touching Raphael's lower body and watching it get wet, you felt like you were looking at a painting that was getting closer to completion, and your excitement heightened. The thought filling your mind gradually got lewder and more perverted. ‘I want to see more of Raphael's body!’ Your excitement and curiosity gained momentum, and with nervous fingers you pulled down Raphael's underwear. Then, it was revealed that a chastity belt forged in Heaven from heavy metal, surrounded Raphael's cock. You widened your eyes at the chastity belt you had never seen before.

“Is this...” You ran your hand hesitantly around the heavy, metallic chastity belt. “It was true what they say about angels wearing chastity belts.” Beelzebub was watching with amusement, before continuing, “Dedicating oneself to God and continuing celibacy for billions of years. And wearing a chastity belt to keep from breaking it. Hah, angels were doing such strange things, they truly were.” Your gaze clung to the chastity belt at Beelzebub's words. Then you shuddered and felt a rush of excitement as you saw Raphael wearing a chastity belt, as proof of his purity. He seemed so aggressive and eccentric at first glance, but that wasn’t his true colours at all?

The devils around him studied the chastity belt, pretending to approach to insert the bills. Raphael's erect, hard dick was writhing inside the chastity belt, ready to burst, and something was leaking out of the hole at the end. It was transparent, white and milky, but it glowed and had a viscosity. ‘What..Is this...?’ Your cheeks blushed slightly. ‘Could this shining liquid possibly be an angel's cum...?! Is it… his precum? I want to try licking it!!!’ You felt curiosity mingled with excitement at the liquid that was unique to that holy angel. The glowing, melting liquid drew the admiration of the surrounding devils.

[lunarw0rks]

Hi!!! I just wanna start by saying I love your writing so much. I always look forward to seeing what you share next!

Can I request a little something about reader who grew up never really having their birthday celebrated/they always downplay it. Then here comes Soap who loves nothing more than to celebrate his loves ones and reader is touched and basically almost sobs at how he genuinely enjoys making their day special🥺

This is totally not a self-indulgent ask whatsoever. If you can get to this, that'd be sweet but if not that's ok too! Have a great day💗

warning(s); sfw, fluff, hurt/comfort, pining? but still platonic by the end, military!reader, gn!reader, no use of y/n word count: 1.6k // not proofread

TRADITIONS | SOAP MACTAVISH

birthday celebrations were never on your radar, and especially not after choosing such a rugged career.

there often wasn't time for streamers and light conversation; it was anything but those things. throughout your childhood, there weren't momentous parties or cheery wishes thrown your way. it was... not much of a celebration at all.

after you grew out of your innocence, the sting of it disappeared over time. or you learned to ignore it. either way, you never expected parties, gifts, or anything alike.

it was better this way; you'd repeat to yourself.

yet, when passing a park and seeing a child's entire kin gathered to celebrate the milestone—you have that same cramp in your chest as if you hadn't aged at all.

today was akin to any other; exhausting. long hours of PT and drills, paired with new material to study, courtesy of Price. the busier the better, though, because it was less chance of your captain mentioning the big day, even in passing.

thankfully, he hadn't, nor did the rest of them.

it was the peaceful hours before official lights out, when every soldier retreated to their quarters and occupied themselves with something, or simply slept early. you sat down on the thin cot with a beat sigh, unzipping your tight boots and setting them aside—procrastinating shining them by morning.

through all the uncertainty, there's one thing you're sure of—a steamy shower. the hot beads of water cleanse you of the dirt and grime of today and its meaning.

you figure that once you get into bed and tomorrow rolls around, it'll be another birthday stifled and forgotten.

one moment, you're sitting on the edge and applying lotion to your dry and cracked hands, and next, you're startled by a knock at the door. you gazed at the digital clock on your nightstand;

10:38 PM

at this hour, what could it possibly be? with this task force, you'd been conditioned to expect anything, at any time—and that did not inspire confidence at the moment.

"it's open," you replied reluctantly, not wanting to get the doorknob greasy with lotion remnants. with a few struggling grunts, the door finally opened and closed.

his hairstyle, as recognizable as ever. "there ya are." he said with enthusiasm, in the likeness of an over-excited detective that solved a tough case.

"c'mere for a minute," he curled his fingers. despite his cheeky smile, you indulge his request. slipping off the edge, you approach him and supply only a perplexed look.

you were quickly running out of guesses, "Mactavish, what is—"

an explosion; tiny fragments falling like ash all around your body. some landed in your hair, others on your shoulders, and most on the leaden cement floor of the barracks.

you opened your eyes after they squinted from the startle. you grabbed the dainty rain, looking down and seeing rainbow confetti pieces. soap's palm was open, and he was actively chuckling at your shocked expression.

"hello, you in there? happy birthday?" he says, as a question, because you haven't had much of a reaction. to him, it probably looked like you hated the surprise.

a rush of emotions pumped through you; disbelief, gloom, and overbearing all—consolation.

warmth spread over your chest and cheeks, and you're suddenly overcome with all the feelings at once. you fumbled through a sentence, "oh, you didn't have to— really, Soap, it's... wait, how did you do the...?"

"—the confetti?" soap sneers, as if he'd been waiting for you to mention his party trick. "trick o' the palm, i can't tell ye more; it's classified."

for a few moments, you stare at one another. his beam is genuine, but yours is unsure and borderline awkward. when you're literally smacked in the face with surprise, everything feels unrefined and alien. especially birthdays.

"don't be daft, had to help you celebrate. besides, you didn't say anythin' today." lightly, he smacked your shoulder, knocking the silence from your throat.

"I just don't see the point, I guess," you reply, and soften your expression to make it known that you still appreciate the kind gesture. following, you shook off some of the confetti from your shoulders as if ridding your body of the festivities.

soap furrows his brows with genuine confusion, "in what? confetti or my presence?"

"in birthdays." you assert, a stark contrast to his playful nature. "never really celebrated one before."

his shock was authentic and obvious, pulled together with slightly agape lips, "you can't be serious— never?" you nodded, sticking to your story, because it wasn't a story at all. it was your truth. "don't you want gifts? all the attention? what about the cake?"

"it's not from a lack of trying, MacTavish. you can't exactly... want something you've never had." you scoff, looking the eager sergeant up and down.

he does the same, and his heart sinks when he senses no lies. you really aren't lying, and you really are this indifferent about your own birthday.

to him, it's completely unheard of. birthdays were some of his core memories, his own and his family back home. how could you have been deprived of that for so long, and be so... collected?

"doesn't matter where you came from, or why; you deserve a celebration."

his merriment wasn't posed as a question anymore, and you didn't want it to be either. part of you—so deep down you hadn't felt it right away—wanted to be celebrated on your special day.

all of it caught up with you at once, and without any strength to conceal it, tears brimming at the corners of your eyes. a glimpse of your damaged and long-deprived inner child, presented through a grown soldier's body.

he brought you closer, a supportive hand on the nape of your neck as you clung to him tightly. "thank you." you muttered, chin resting on his shoulder.

"aye, but it's nothing." soap pulled you back, forcing you to stare at him head on. a thumb reached up and wiped the salty tears, then smoothed over your cheek. "y'know what, I know what we've got t' do." he breathes, voice dropping to a whisper, as if concealing his idea from the world.

your face scrunched in confusion. "we?"

as if ignoring your question, he kept rambling, "you have holiday coming up. request time off, and i'll take you all the way home with me."

"all the way home?" you queried, unsure of what kind of holiday to be picture. with him, it could be anything under the blazing sun.

he slowed down his speech and affirmed, "all the way home." it dawned on you what he meant, but nothing sour arose from that idea.

"Nana, she'll put on one hell of a party for you, trust me." finally, his rambles had calmed, awaiting your reaction. it was near impossible to refuse his puppyish demeanor, the one he shifted into when he wanted something the most.

"cake?" you questioned, surprising him with almost no argument. the nonchalance had to look uncanny, considering your cheeks were still stained with streams.

he grinned with satisfaction. "aye, 'course there's cake. can't forget the streamers, and best of all—the MacTavish rugrats, and brood, in one place."

well, now that sounded more like a nightmare; your mind filled with the image of a hundred little mohawks reaping havoc on your birthday party. but in the middle of the chaos would be you and soap; the only mildly convincing part of this scheme.

"i can't expect your whole family to gather and plan a party for someone they've never met. let alone m—"

"well, actually, that's the kicker," he interjected, unveiling a new layer to his little birthday scheme. one he could've been planning for god knows how long. "Nan is having a get-together around that time, it won't be a fuss f' her."

you would be nearly stunned if it weren't for a few pressing questions. what he'd said early hit you like a ton of bricks, and now it was full-on suspicion. "wait a minute, johnny. how did you know i had holiday time?"

it all seemed too much of a coincidence. and that's because, it wasn't.

for a man trained to endure the worst kinds of torture, he cracked under the pressure almost instantly.

"may have... done some digging in Cap's office. that's how i figured out your birthday." he figured it better to rip off the bandaid preemptively than have deflected now and have you throwing him out the airplane window.

you gasped slightly, "christ, is privacy illegal in this place? actually, that probably is illegal, MacTavish, i could have you—"

"—are ye goin' with me or not?" soap interrupted.

it wasn't like you said no. just like it wasn't the first time he'd mentioned you to his family. but that was a skeleton to uncover on another day, and hopefully not during the plane ride.

you outstretched a hand, "if you're paying? a deal is a deal."

"see? wasn't so hard. besides, i know i'm hard to deny." he ran an arrogant hand through his hair, instead of shaking your hand proper.

instead of complaining, you knew just how to press his buttons. "come to think of it, johnny." you tilted your head, reading to have the last laugh.

"you have any embarrassing juvenile stories? or better yet, does Nana have any baby pictures i might like to see?" you continued, watching his haughtiness fizzle instantly.

he took a few steps back, cheeks rosy, "you know what— in two hours that birthday of yours will be over, and you know what happens then? first dibs on my knuckles, soldier."

that tells you the answer was yes.

on second thought, this was going to be a very fun excursion.

˗ˏˋ divider cred. - cafekitsune ˎˊ˗

[lucydarkrain]

Title: Memories

Pairing: Luke Castellan x fem!reader / Luke Castellan x You

Summary: You never really figured out how you feel about the now famous Luke Castellan despite spending so much time with him in the past. Memories and feelings are all you have left of him.

Warning: Non-explicit. Short one-shot. Not happy ending.

—————————————————————————

You liked the the shade of the coffee in Luke Castellan’s eyes.

You could lose yourself in them for hours. His gaze was always so soft when they met your eyes, too much to the point where you thought you were in free fall with a warm embrace.

You can always tell when he was excited, the subtle tilt of his head giving away his confidence. It was in those moments, amidst the thrill of the game, that you felt most alive, knowing that you can trust your heart with this dark haired demigod.

He would be the only person to ever notice your injured lip and bruises on your knuckles, and before you could make up any excuses to distract him, he would already be sitting next to you, wrapping bandages around your fingers. In that moment, all you could hear was the sound of birds in the valley and the leaves whistling.

Luke Castellan spoke of his love for the wind, how it made him feel free in this world and how he would put his past behind him, even for just a second.

He told you his fondness for the sunset, explaining that it signaled the approach of nightfall. You know that he felt most at ease in the darkness when no one else could disrupt the peace, exactly the same as you.

Luke confessed his admiration for the rain, particularly when he saw you running carefree with your hair down amidst the raindrops. He said it was the most beautiful scene he'd ever witnessed.

He expressed his desire to go on a quest with you, emphasizing that you were one of the most trusted warriors he could ever be with. You started making it your goal and practiced your battle skills ever since, but you never really told him there’s no one else that you could ever trust with your quest besides him.

Despite everything he said and the way your eyes met, how he would softly whisper in your ears when sharing a joke about Chris, or how he carefully plays with your hair when you’re napping in the cabin…he still left you alone in the camp and followed the dark path without even saying goodbye.

As Luke disappeared into the shadows, his absence left a void in the camp, a silent reminder of unspoken promises and shattered dreams.

You stood alone, the echoes of his departure haunting your thoughts, a bittersweet melody of what could have been.

In the quiet of the night, you whispered his name to the wind, hoping against hope that he would hear your silent plea and somehow miraculously make his grand return.

But the wind carried your words away, lost in the vast expanse of the unknown, leaving you to confront the harsh reality of his absence.

You never really figured out if your feelings for him was just a childhood crush that shared a soft glow of innocence and a delicate blossom of tender affection, or if it is something more.

Something deeper and more profound, stems from each time when he locked his eyes on your smile then quickly turned away the moment you catch it, when you found yourself resting your head on his shoulder and he never even budged, or when he’d instantly know you’re nearby when he was buried in the heavy thoughts and needed some air in the woods.

You never really knew if you loved him, all you remember was the excruciating heartache as if he carved a hollow space within you.

And as the stars faded from view, casting the world into darkness, you realized that some bonds were meant to be broken, some paths destined to diverge, leaving only memories in their wake.

[rebelwrites]

I Will Never Stop Loving You || Part Two

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Summary: Both broken and in pain can one phone call provide Charles with the glimpse of he desperately needs

Part one

As always reblogs and feedback is highly appreciated ❤️

Never in a million years did you expect to be back in your childhood bedroom, hiding yourself from the world but here you were.

For the last three days you refused to eat, you only left the safety of your room to use the bathroom. The time was spent crying, trying to force yourself to sleep but it never came and smoking out of your bedroom window. You knew it wasn’t healthy for you but you didn’t care.

Nothing and no one could replace Charles and that’s what scared you the most. Your hand felt wrong without your engagement ring, everything felt wrong.

Propping yourself against the headboard you took a breath before turning your phone back on, the moment it booted up the string of notification sounds filled the room. Unlocking the phone you started on your missed calls.

CharlieBear 🐻❤️:

49 missed calls

30 new voicemails

P.G

12 missed calls

3 new voicemails

C.S

10 missed calls

4 new voicemails

Clearing the missed call notifications you looked at the little red number next to your messages.

79 new messages

Taking a deep breath you clicked onto the app scrolling through all the messages from your friends, all concerned about your sudden disappearance. You quickly fired off a couple of texts to Pierre seeing how the three little dots started dancing around the bottom of the screen

P.G

📲 Merci putain tu es vivant Thank fuck you are alive

💬 Vivant mais survivant à peine 😢 Alive but barely surviving don’t worry about me P, I need time. Time away from everything.

📲 What happened? I’ve never seen Charles so broken. Can you at least tell me where you are?

💬 I flew home.

📲 Oh shit, here if you need to talk 🥰

Swiping off the conversation you read all the other messages from everyone else but Charles, you just closed the app pretending they didn’t exist just like you had done with the voicemails. You couldn’t bear to hear or read them.

The soft knock on your door caused you to toss your phone onto the bed, watching as your older sister appeared with your niece on her hip.

“What’s going on bug?” She asked, her expression soft but full of concern.

“Don’t wanna talk,” you hummed, fiddling with the sleeves of Charles’ hoodie, something you refused to take off.

“This isn’t good for you, bottling everything up.” She whispered as your niece climbed across the bed for a cuddle.

“Hmm,” you mumbled, watching your phone screen light up with Charles' face as he tried to call you again.

“It’s Uncle Char,” your niece grinned pointing at the phone.

Before you had a chance to move the phone Lucy had swiped it answering the call.

“Hi Uncle Char” She beamed, making you want the world to swallow you up. The moment she put the call on speakerphone you once again had to fight back tears as you heard his voice. “Why aren’t you here with Auntie Y/N?” She asked innocently.

“I’m busy with work.” He sighed, the pain in his voice was obvious to you but not to your niece. “Is your Auntie there?”

“She’s right next to me, you are on speakerphone.” She smiled, leaning against your chest.

Running your hand over your face you shot your sister a pleading look hoping she took over the situation. Luckily she got the message from Lucy. “Go find pops, Luce,” she smiled softly at her daughter.

Soon enough Lucy had disappeared leaving the room in silence but no matter what you couldn’t tear your gaze from the phone.

“Look Charles,” Dena sighed, running her hand across her face. “I don’t know what’s happened between you and my sister but she doesn’t want to talk to you right now.”

“Dena, please.” He whimpered, his voice cracking as he spoke, causing tears to roll down your cheeks.

“I can’t force her to do something she doesn’t want to do.” She said softly, her heart breaking at the pair of you.

“Just tell her I’m sorry please,” he cried, “just tell her I will never stop trying to make this up to her, I can’t live without her.”

“I will do Charles.” Dena said. “Look just give her some time and space and whatever has happened between the pair of you will work itself out. You two are destined to be together.”

“Take care of her D.” He whispered before the line went dead.

As soon as the phone was back on the bed you broke down in your older sister's arms. She didn’t say anything as she ran her hand across your back trying to sooth you.

Eventually your sobs subsided, as you roughly wiped your eyes with the sleeves of the hoodie.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled, reaching for your packet of cigarettes before standing up off the bed pulling the hoodie over the pyjama shorts.

You needed to get out of the room, the four walls felt like they were starting to close in on you and you couldn’t take it any more.

-

The sunglasses on his face hid just how bad things had gotten. He was hardly sleeping, he was forcing food down him when he didn’t want to eat. He just wanted to hide from the world, not race. The last week had been the worst week of his life.

News of what had happened was now spreading like wildfire tearing through the F1 world, every interview he had everyone always asked him about you, where it went wrong.

“What’s your thoughts on today's race?”

“Fucking shit!” Charles snapped, causing silence to fall around him. “At this point what’s the point? Because I sure as hell don’t see any reason in continuing this season.”

Everyone was shocked at Charles' outburst, Pierre quickly jumped into the situation guiding his friend away from the cameras and back into the alpha tauri motorhome as it was closer.

The moment the door was closed it was like the floodgates opened, Charles couldn’t stop the tears from falling. His world was falling apart around him, he knew you meant the world to him but he didn’t quite understand until now that you were the centre of his world. Nothing went right without you.

“J'ai merdé. je ne sais plus quoi faire. I fucked up. I don't know what to do anymore.” Charles sobbed, hiding his head in his hands. “I feel like I’m fucking drowning, I’d do anything to get her back, I’d give up everything if it meant I got her back.”

“Je vais vous donner mon avis honnête parce que je vous aime tous les deux. I'm going to give you my honest opinion because I love both of you.” Pierre said, planting his hand on Charles’ back. “You have a long road ahead, the reason you got to this point was because of the championship, you shut her out.”

“I know, and I hate myself for it.” Charles cried. “What do I do?”

Pierre sighed, he had never seen his friend like this and it was breaking his heart. He had been in contact with you over the last week just checking in and things weren’t much better on your side. He had a couple of late night calls from you in floods of tears.

“I know it’s going to be hard but I think you need to take a step back. Y/N would want you to finish the season, do the best you can and go from there. There’s only 6 more races left of the season.”

Charles sighed, knowing he best friend was right but he couldn’t last that long. Two months was far too long. “Je ne peux pas attendre aussi longtemps, je suis tellement perdu sans elle. I can't wait that long, I'm so fucking lost without her.” He sobbed.

“Mec, elle a dit qu'elle avait besoin de temps donc tu dois lui en donner. C'est quelque chose que tu ne peux pas forcer. Mate, she said she needs time so you gotta give it her. It's something you can't force.” Pierre said softly.

Charles roughly wiped his eyes before pushing himself to his feet, silently saying bye to his friend. He needed to be alone, he needed to get away from the cameras and prying eyes. There was a two week break before the next race and Charles didn’t plan on showing his face to the world. He already had flights booked for Monaco.

Within the next couple of hours he had landed in Monaco, dumping his case in the hallway of his home. Checking his phone for the millionth time, sighing heavily when there were no new notifications from the person he wanted to hear from the most.

Tossing the phone onto the counter he sulked into his room grabbing the other suitcase tossing the clothes he needed into it. After a quick run around making sure he had everything he needed he shut the light off letting the bedroom fall into darkness.

He was only in his home for around half an hour before he swiped his phone off the counter along with his car keys leaving the home you shared. There was no way he could stay here without you, it just wasn't the same, there were too many memories buried in the walls. So he was heading to the one place he would be welcomed with open arms. He was going to stay with his Mum for the two week break.

The journey was only short but it felt like a lifetime for Charles. As he pulled into the drive he shut the engine off, taking a couple of deep breaths whilst he gripped the steering wheel trying to compose himself before he entered his childhood home.

Once he had dragged himself out of the car he slowly walked up to the front door. He didn’t get a chance to knock before the door flung open and his mother was standing in the opening.

Her soft expression broke down Charles’ resolve as he hugged his mum. The feeling of her comfort completely broke him down to tears, cries turned into sobs, his body shaking violently as his knees started giving out on him. Slowly Pascale lowered him to the floor, wrapping her arms around her son tightly. He had already told her what had happened and she had since been speaking to your parents as they were close friends.

“Mon doux garçon. My sweet boy.” She hummed, running her fingers through his dark hair, just like she did when he was a young boy. “Les choses vont bien se passer. Vous sortirez tous les deux de cette tempête plus forts que jamais. Things are going to be okay. You will both come out of this storm stronger than ever.”

“Je noie maman, sans bouée de sauvetage. I'm drowning mum, with no lifeline.” He sobbed clutching her cardigan. “I fucked everything up because I was blinded by the championship. I’m just so lost without her.”

Pascale blinked back tears at the state her son was in, she knew how much he loved you. The pair of them sat on the hallway floor until Charles had controlled his breathing and sobs.

Guiding her son into the kitchen she sat him down at the table, before pottering around the kitchen making them both some tea.

The sound of his phone vibrating against the wooden table was the only sound that filled the room. Charles starred in disbelief as he saw your name flash up on his phone. Quickly he wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand as he felt his heart starting to race.

Wifey ❤️🌎

📲 Can we FaceTime?

Rushing to unlock his phone, he couldn’t believe that you wanted to FaceTime him. Fumbling with his phone he hit the little camera next to your name, setting his phone against the vase in the centre of the table.

The longer it continued to ring the more he started worrying. Did you mean to text him? Did you change your mind? His mind was running a million miles an hour, rubbing his hands down his thighs he hated this feeling.

He breathed a breath of relief as your face appeared on the screen but it also shattered his heart even more. Your hair was scraped back, your eyes were red and puffy, there wasn’t the sparkle in them anymore. It was obvious to him that you weren’t sleeping and he hated himself that he was the reason to start smoking again especially when he knew how hard it was for you to quit.

“Hi,” he said softly, running his hand over his face. “This was a surprise.”

“I’m sorry.” You sighed, taking a long drag of the cigarette.

“Don’t be, Ma chéri.” Charles said, smiling weakly. “C'est bon de t'entendre. It’s good hearing from you.”

“Auntie Y/N, is that Uncle Char?.” Lucy’s voice appeared, making Charles smile.

“Yes baby it is.” You nodded, “I told you he would call, even when he is working he always finds time for your birthday.”

Charles sighed once again, running his hand across his face. How could he forget his niece’s birthday? With everything going on it just slipped his mind. This explained the reason for the contact, it was for Lucy and not you. Once again he felt the familiar pain in his chest but quickly put on a smile as Lucy took the phone from you.

“Joyeux anniversaire, ma princesse. Happy birthday, my princess.” He smiled, leaning closer to the camera as Lucy flashed him a toothy grin. “Did you make a birthday wish?”

“Of course I did silly.” She giggled.

“What did you wish for?” Charles asked, knowing that Lucy couldn’t keep quiet. “I bet it was a pony.”

“Nope”

“A monkey?”

“Nope”

“A F1 car?”

“Wrong again.”

“Oh I know, a unicorn?”

“Nope.”

“Okay I have no clue, what did you wish for sweetheart.”

“I wished for Auntie Y/N to be happy again and for you to be with her.”

It was like the air had been punched from him, he was completely blindsided by a seven year old.

“I overheard mummy and Pops talking and they said you and Auntie Y/N aren’t together anymore.” Her little pout was enough to cause the Monégasque to tear up again.

“Me and Auntie Y/N are taking a little break at the moment darling.” Charles sighed, trying not to break down in front of his niece. Before she could respond her friends were calling her. “Go, go enjoy your party.” Charles smiled.

“I love you Uncle Char.” She grinned, blowing him a kiss.

“I love you too, my little Princess.”

The phone was quickly passed around and your face popped back on the screen. An awkward silence fell across the pair of you, neither of you not knowing what to say, but not wanting to end the call.

“I saw the race.” You said quietly, looking down at something.

“You did?” Charles asked, he was surprised with your confession.

“I did,” you sighed, running your hand over your face. “What happened?”

“My head and heart wasn’t in it,” he whispered, trying his hardest to hold back the tears but one managed to slip, rolling down his cheek. “Do you think we will get back to how we were before this season started?” He blurted out, he knew it wasn’t an easy question but one he needed to know the answer to.

You fell silent as you mulled over his question, his heart was pounding against his chest not knowing what your answer was going to be.

“I don’t know, I hope so.” You said quietly, refusing to make eye contact with him, so you didn’t see the small smile appear on his lips. “I just need some time Charles, we need some time.”

“Prenez tout le temps dont vous avez besoin. Take as much time as you need.” Charles hummed. “Ne m'abandonne pas chérie. Parce que je suis sûr que je ne vais pas abandonner sur vous, sur nous. Just don't give up on me darling. Because I'm sure as hell not going to give up on you, on us.”

He watched you wipe a tear from your cheek, he wanted nothing more than to take you in his arms, holding you until the sun came up.

“Je ne le ferai pas, je te le promets. Mais tu dois aussi me promettre quelque chose, mon Charliebear. I won't I promise. But you have to promise me something as well, my Charliebear.” You breathed finally looking up at the camera.

“Anything.” Charles smiled. His heart skipped a beat hearing the nickname you had for him.

“Promise me that you won’t throw the season away because of what’s going on with us.” You whispered, wiping away some more tears. “I don’t want you ruining your career because of this.” Even though the reason everything was happening was because of the championship you still didn’t want him throwing anything down the drain. “I know there are only 6 races left of the season. Throw your heart into, be the driver that I fell in love with all them years ago. Use your emotions as the fire you need to find yourself on the track again. And once the season is over we can go from there, taking baby steps.”

Your words had reduced him to tears, hiding his eyes from the camera he regained his composure before speaking again.

“I will, for you, for us.” He smiled softly. “Promise you will watch every race.”

“Je promets. I promise.”

“Prends soin de toi mon amour, souviens-toi toujours que je ne cesserai jamais de t'aimer ou de me battre pour nous. Take care my love, always remember I will never stop loving you or fighting for us.”

A small smile tugged on your lips as you ended the call. Charles leant back in the seat letting out a shaky breath, a smile of his own forming as for the first time since his world started crumbling around him he had hope.

Hope he would cling onto for dear life.

[moocheesee]

Bucchigiri?! × Reader Part 2!!

Okay so I'll probably do a part 3 haha

Matakara

✓ okay so

✓ he took interest in you the first time he saw you

✓ it was your smile that caught his attention that day

✓ you're probably in Minato Kai as well, but even if you were in Siguma he'd still try to talk to you (much to Zabus and Komaos dismay)

✓ like a Romeo and Juliet typa shit but not as depressing lmao

✓ always goes out of his way to help you with anything be it school work or with guys bothering you

✓ offered to teach you how to fight multiple times too but he prefers if you just call him for help instead

✓ biggest eyes when he saw you can actually fight really well (you threw a dude across the yard)

✓ follows you around like a dog (Golden Retriever kinda guy😙)

✓ wants you to join him and his friends for lunch

✓ started to fall for you when he realized how easily he could confide in you

✓ you knew everything from his childhood with Arajin to his brother being in juvie now

✓ talking about Arajin you're his sworn enemy now

✓ you notice how Matakara slowly started to dinstance himself even from you

✓ you worked together with Komao and Zabu to find out what happened to him and where he disappeared to

✓ you were so angry for having to rely on Arajin to get Matakara back while you couldn't do anything

✓ you tried to talk to him when he got back but he kept avoiding you

✓ and then Matakara started to beat people up

✓ and there wasn't a damn thing you could do when he suddendly was in front of you while you were out

✓ you were the last straw for Matakara to finally give in to Ichiya when he beat you up

✓ Matakara died internally that day when you didn't even fight back

✓ after the whole thing was over he apologized in tears to you

✓ cried more when you hugged him and accepted <3

✓ some general dating stuff now tho:

✓ always has his hands on you, either holding yours, your shoulder or your waist

✓ his favorite is when you intertwine your fingers and swing his hand around

✓ Y'all have matching nail polish Fight me on that!! Yours in green and he has his ring and pinky Finger on his left Hand in your eye colour!!

✓ Matakara isn't innocent at ALL either so he fricking knows what he is doing when you watch him work out

✓ "accidently" pulls his shirt up higher to show you his abs

✓ wants to show you how much stronger he got but he just wants you to feel his biceps

✓ "You can look at me all you want~" and nobodies gonna believe u that it's the same Matakara who acts like that

✓ he's legit gonna be the death of you when you put a hand on his cheek and he grins up at you with the adorable smile of his

Outa

✓ you're prolly the help for the school nurse (that old guy in the "beach episode" lmaoo)

✓ you refused to join any gang yet wanted to do more than just your school work and he offered you to help him out so

✓ Outa, who joined that year with Marito and formed Siguma, brought some of their members over to the school infirmary to fix them up after a fight

✓ the school nurse wasn't there that time so you took over as well as you could

✓ he just watched from the corner the way you work

✓ only got interested in you when Minato Kai guys came to the nurses office too - starting a fight with the Siguma guys in the process

✓ but instead of being scared or overwhelmed you actually put them in their place and they waited in a line like kindergarden kids lol

✓ from then on you peaked his interest and he tried to be around you more

✓ always came to you to get fixed up or letting his fellow members get fixed up

✓ Marito got onto him pretty quickly and teased him about it

✓ you two Always talk about some random things, forgetting the time sometimes

✓ bro laughed his ahh off when he saw you holding fingers up like the school nurse too while checking up on someone

✓ he brings you home from school everytime he has the time and his schedule let's him

✓ always shares an umbrella w u because he knows you don't have one

✓ keeps you from the Siguma guys until y'all officially together bc even you can only take so much chaos😭

✓ talking about it, he confessed on the way to your home - nothing romantic though, he just asked you straight up

✓ if you squint reaaaaaaally well you might see a faint blush on his cheeks

✓ he subconciously pushes you behind him when there's danger around (Hid you from the view of Matakara beating Marito too)

✓ you probably had A LOT of trouble with Mahoro once she joined the school as well

✓ you being with Outa meant you being close to Marito too

✓ saw you as a love rival from then on

✓ you barely can hear now with the way she keeps shrieking into your ear if you're too close to Marito or he's visibly happy/laughing at something you said😭

✓ she didn't stop it either until she saw the way you and Outa looked at each other

✓ you're being tolerated now, she still doesn't like you tho

✓ but you didn't mind when you're walking with Outa, pinkies linked together because he isn't too big on PDA

✓ hugs you everytime you two are completely alone tho and gives forehead kisses <3

𝗕𝗢𝗡𝗨𝗦

Since Bucchigiri said "Screw gender norm" with their characters I wanted to make a Y/N who gives off the same vibe!

✓Hiding behind a Bunny mask you're known to be the schools mascot

✓ are you a guy? Or a girl? Both or neither? Nobody knows besides you

✓ you have the whole school in your hands because your the most popular student there

✓ you're known for your pranks but also for the fact you don't hesitate to throw hands with anyone despite the gender or status

✓ people only ever heard you laugh and say a few little words IF u say anything at all (not even the voice could give some type of revelation on ur gender)

✓How can someone be so attractive and you never saw their face??

[splaede]

AFTER DARK. Armin Arlert (CH. 4)

☰ pairings: Armin x Reader, Slight Eren x Reader

┌─ ✮⭒｡ story summary: Armin was tired of being seen as an innocent, goody-two-shoes, little flower boy. Instead, he wanted to be seen in a more romantic and…sexual light. You just couldn’t turn down a sweet boy like him, so you agreed to hone his charms and teach him special…skills.

And he turned out to be much more powerful (and hotter) than you'd ever expected.

└─ ✩⭒｡ story #tags: fluff, angst, smut, friends to lovers, friends w benefits, drama, jealousy, hurt/comfort, manipulative armin, virgin armin, loss of virginity, childhood friends, lots of tension, nerd armin, and then he glows up, love triangles, unrequited love, gaslighting, lots of buildup

☰ CHAPTER FOUR. armin's confidence

┌─ ✮⭒｡ chapter summary: You and Armin tackle one of his insecurities. Later that night, things somehow get a little too close for comfort.

└─ ✩⭒｡ chapter warnings: none

☰ table of contents | previous chapter | next chapter

Nighttime had fallen at a snail's pace—so horribly and painstakingly slow to the point where you had nothing to do at home but remind yourself about the fact that you had disappeared on Eren and Mikasa. Even worse, you'd left right after your last few text messages, specifically the one saying you had been there.

So far, nothing from either of them. You wondered if they'd even read what you had sent.

The moment you decided to finally apologize and fill them in on your whereabouts, your phone suddenly rang. 

A call from Eren.

Oh, speak of the devil.

It had been two hours since you'd last seen him and since you'd last left with Armin. You hastily picked up his call with fumbling fingers.

"Where are you?"

His voice echoed loudly from your palms, gruff and agitated. He sounded more angry, more frantic than you were expecting, and you instantly felt the guilt creep into your veins. You would've called him sooner if Armin hadn't been engrossing you in an embarrassing story that he told a little too loudly at your restaurant table.

"I'm at home," you answered plainly.

"Sorry, I meant, where were you? Why'd you two leave Trost’s Kitchen?"

You wondered how he knew that you'd left their restaurant. It didn't take an idiot to take a look around and see how that all of the tables were occupied, but the confidence he spoke with unsettled you.

If he knew, then why hadn't he said anything earlier? You didn't blame him, though. He looked like he was having a good time. In fact, you hadn't texted for the same reason.

You were convinced it was as if he called you because he just wanted to hear the reason for himself—as if he insisted you had been somewhere else other than your home.

As if he'd expected you and Armin to run off.

You suddenly blanched at your thinking. You were sure the more rational reason was that Eren probably realized how busy and packed Trost's Kitchen was.

Jabbing at your volume button, you quickly explained, "I'm so sorry, Eren. The line there was long, so Armin and I ate somewhere else. I forgot to tell you earlier."

Then, nothing.

Nothing but the static of your phone and the distant hum of your air conditioning. 

You were so, so guiltily aware of the silence on the other end of the line.

Glancing at your screen, you finally heard Eren's breath hitch amidst the drone of white noise. Then, a breath of hesitance.

"Oh really...?"

He paused.

"You two are always leaving us."

This time, you paused. Pressing your lips together, you let your entire face simmer into a slow confusion.

Always?

In the split second before you had left Trost's Kitchen, you hadn't been the slightest bit hesitant to leave, not when Armin had been holding out his hand so invitingly, but a greedy, Eren-shaped inkling inside of you had told you otherwise—told you that you would've been willing to stay.

You hadn't realized you were holding your breath until long after he'd finished his sentence.

Always…?

His words rang in your head again. You could clearly hear the disappointment in his voice and vividly picture that twitch of dejectedness on his face when something upset him.

"Eren, what do you mean?"

"You two just…always leave together. Out of nowhere."

He stopped himself for a second, and you could only assume he was ruminating over his words.

"Never mind, actually. It’s okay, don’t worry. We can eat together next time, okay? Night, Y/N."

Was he truly upset? You didn't think it was that big of a big deal, nor did you think he'd care. Things happen, right?

"Night, Eren."

You couldn't tell who hung up first.

Maybe it was all just a misunderstanding. Maybe you were too caught up in the scene, saw them both together, and ran with it. Maybe it was a friendly outing and that was the just nature of their friendship—when they were alone, at least.

The nature of their...friendship.

God, you were starting to overthink again.

How could you not when you had witnessed Eren, your best friend (who you liked a little more than a best friend), and Mikasa, your other best friend, getting along in a way that suggested they were more than friends?

Not that you had gotten uselessly butthurt and let it ruin your night, but it wasn’t something that you had expected.

You sighed. Today's evening ended in a certain guilt that you couldn't seem to scratch off. You guessed it’d be better to leave it alone. The night offered you good things, too, like Armin getting a haircut and treating you to dinner.

You needed to thank him for that some more. He had kept true to his words, made up for leaving, and bought you your favorite meal—without having to ask you where and what you wanted to eat.

Armin was such a sweet friend, wasn't he?

"Y/N, you can choose."

As soon as you had gotten off work the next day, you were quick to accept Armin's offer for a movie night. He was at your apartment to pick you up in a matter of minutes.

What was supposed to be a short visit to the supermarket for movie snacks turned into a long rendezvous to fulfill Armin's grocery shopping list. You were hoping he'd stop once you'd passed by the same frozen foods section for the third time, but he continued his trek down the aisle one more time.

Now standing blindly in the middle of a different aisle, you peered at the shelves of big-branded, colorful chip bags. From the corner of your eye, you saw Armin fiddle with a price tag holder as he awaited your response.

"Let's get these," you suggested, extending your hand.

Before you had the chance to pull the bag from the shelf, he reached it first, plastic crinkling in his hand as he tossed it into the cart.

"Good choice," he chimed.

The shopping cart was moving now, rattling in tandem with the taps of his shoes and the mellow syllables of his voice. Your steps fell into a rhythmic pattern next to his own.

Armin turned to you with a smooth grin. "Do you want to eat my mom's cooking tonight, or do you prefer we buy something? We can order your favorite again."

"Your mom's cooking, for sure. I've missed it."

He beamed, eyes creasing cheerfully at the corners. "I'll make sure she makes extra, then."

Armin sounded excited, almost boyish, and you could see the young, childish, long-haired Armin peeking through the cracks of his innocent smile.

As your eyes flitted away from his wide grin and creased eyes, you were reminded of his short hair. You didn't think you'd ever get used to his new haircut, or if you'll ever be not surprised when you see him. It was so weird—but so good.

He looked pretty.

You two were a short stroll away from checkout when you spotted someone you knew, lingering on their phone just a few steps past the cashiers and near the joint Starbucks cafe. Someone with a familiar head of buzzed hair and a stupid, lopsided grin.

"Connie?" you blurted, earning you a weird look from Armin. "Look over there. You wanna say hi?"

The cart rolled to a slow stop, metal rattling against the friction.

“That means he's going to be the first to see my hair."

You watched him run nimble fingers through his blonde tresses. A few odd strands stuck up comically, but if anything, you thought it made him look cuter. His face, strewn together with worried brows, fluttered closer to what you think was trepidation. And maybe, just maybe, you began to see a trace of familiar insecurity.

"Armin, are you still set on it being a surprise?" you jabbed. In return, he smiled shyly, as if you caught him in the act.

"It won't be a surprise after Connie sees. You know he won't keep quiet." Armin chuckled and shook his head. "I'm going to check out first. I'll meet you guys over there."

The smile he waved you off with was angelic. It pulled gently and sweetly at the corners of his lips, but…it was avoidant. Avoidant and insecure at the thought of someone seeing him.

You didn't get a chance to reciprocate it before he walked off.

"Connie!"

At the call of his name, Connie perked up, eyeing you as you strode to him. He was quick to shoot you an eager, crooked smile.

"Y/N? You're here, too? Didn't expect to run into you." Holding onto his Starbucks cup and still smiling, he tapped your arm as a sign of a friendly greeting.

Before you could even muster a reply, your mouth shut quickly, and you were met with the cold, wet feeling of his cup against your skin. You looked to your side, seeing water pellets trickling down the slope of your arm, wet from the condensate of his Starbucks drink.

In front of you, Connie burst out laughing, leaving you to glower at him.

You wiped at your damp arm with a grimace. "You dumbass," you chided.

Connie only laughed harder, loud and hearty, relishing your sour expression. "Sorry."

He most definitely was not sorry.

You glanced around, hoping that he'd either calm down or laugh quieter because he was attracting an unsettling amount of onlookers from the Starbucks nearby. Neither of those things happened when you hear the sound of Connie's "oh shit!" and the clamor of noisy ruckus and plastic.

You looked down. Connie had just dropped his store-bought container of rotisserie chicken.

Now, it was your turn to laugh. "Connie, why the hell do you have a whole rotisserie chicken?" You had seen it earlier, previously wedged between his arm and torso, but it had now fallen to a sad spot on the supermarket floor.

He rolled his eyes. "You already know Sasha is a pig."

You stood there stupidly with an equally stupid smile, shifting in your shoes as you scrutinized the way he picked up the container from the floor. Something weird always happened when you were around Connie.

"Oh yeah, Y/N, wanna come to my apartment on Saturday?"

You shot him a suggestive look, raising a brow. "Alone?"

His face twisted wryly, and he scoffed at your insinuation. "No! With everybody! Unless..." he challenged, but quickly shook his head when you clicked your tongue. "I was just about to tell the group chat. You coming?"

"Yeah," you began, watching him abruptly swivel around when the barista called his name. "I'll be there."

"That's my order." He motioned to the coffee shop, then glanced at the cup that was already in his hand. "I forgot to get Jean's drink."

You sighed. "You're so dumb that it's laughable."

He pretended not to hear you, but you saw that not-so-subtle eye roll. "Whatever, I'll text you the details, okay? See you!"

And Connie was off.

And you were suddenly startled by a voice behind you.

"Hi, Y/N. Connie left?" Armin shuffled up next to you, pushing the shopping cart that was now filled with grocery bags.

"Mhm," you hummed, "He just left."

"Aw, that sucks."

"Did you purposely avoid him so he wouldn't see your hair?"

He strolled past you, barely letting you catch a glimpse of his faint, smug, and cunning little smile. "No. Why would I do that?"

But the warm, sheepish laugh that betrayed him gave it all away. Like a contagious melody to your ears, you couldn't help but laugh along as you caught up to him.

The moment the two of made it past the exit doors, you were abruptly struck with the late-afternoon sunlight.

Summertime had been pretty relentless lately, and you never did like the hot weather. You were willing to push past that hate to enjoy the peaceful afternoon, but everything was far from your goal of peace. You couldn't quite shake off the downcast of bright light, the incessant screech of the rattling shopping cart against the bumpy pavement, and a new nagging thought in your head.

The walk to his car felt...oddly domestic.

You wondered if Armin was aware of it too, the way he coincidentally threw you a glance. You ignored the scrutiny of his curious eyes and faced ahead.

Attempting to distract yourself from your weird thoughts, you turned to Armin. "Connie wants us to hang out at his place on Saturday. We should go."

He nodded slowly in thought, lips curling into a pleased expression. "Sure. I'm free."

Against your better judgment, you disregarded how off-putting his smile looked, and how ominously his eyes glinted beneath the afternoon sun.

"I'll go anywhere you go," he affirmed.

His almost affectionate answer didn't phase you, not in the slightest, not until Eren's words from last night suddenly came crashing down on you.

You two are always leaving us.

Maybe Eren was right. Armin did seem to follow you wherever you go, and you to him. Even when he asked to hang out, you agreed in a heartbeat, and with Armin's admittance, there was nothing to deny about Eren's observation.

God, it really does seem like it, doesn't it?

You realized how much it had happened recently. Armin following you down Eren's stairs when you left to turn up the air conditioning. Armin taking you home after a day of cleaning at Eren's house. The two of you ditching Eren and Mikasa at the restaurant.

Oh, god, another wave of realization.

The air conditioning. Eren's backyard porch. Where it all started.

"Armin?"

"Yeah?" he mirrored, sparing you a curious blue-eyed glance, blinking away the glare of sunlight ricocheting off his pupils. He leaned in ever-so-subtly, attention tuning into you.

"Do you remember last Saturday? When we fell asleep at Eren's house?" You could see your silhouette in the reflection of his pupils, and you could only hope your worry didn't translate onto your face. "What did you say to Mikasa and Eren before you followed me?"

As the shopping cart took a sharp turn toward his car, it fell silent. The only indication that he heard you was his contemplative stare and the hesitant tremble on his lips.

"Um..." He pulled the trunk open, misty blue eyes distant and unblinking. "Nothing. I didn't say anything. Why? Did something happen?"

Eren's words resurfaced in your head once more.

You two are always leaving us.

You paled at the looming insinuation of you and Armin doing something more—being something more, and how it might've seemed that way to Eren. Knowing that Armin hadn't said anything and left on his own accord make it all the more suspicious.

You and Armin wouldn’t be anything more, right?

The rustle of plastic brought you back to the blonde boy beside you, absentmindedly sliding the shopping bags into the trunk.

Lifting a plastic bag from the cart, you dismissed his question, "No, nothing happened."

His lips curled into an understanding smile. At least, that was what you hoped it was.

Trunk slamming shut, you quickly shuffled away to open the passenger door, Armin following suit on his side. Before you could even fully sit down, you peered out the driver's window just in time to witness Armin getting knocked forward by the neighboring car door.

You heard a muffled "Ah!" escape his mouth as he clutched the shirt fabric of his back, and you didn't have time to register your initial shock when the culprit stepped out with hands over her mouth.

Hitch?

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking!" you heard, although still muffled, from inside the car.

Armin swiftly turned around, his shock replaced by even more as they met eye-to-eye.

"Hitch?" The corners of his lips twitched in surprise, bows furrowing incredulously.

Hitch returned his expression, eyes widening until you swear her lashes touched her eyebrows. She leaned closer to his face as her mouth hangs open. "Armin? Oh my God. You got a haircut? I haven't seen you in so long.”

Instinctively, his hand went to grasp his hair. "Oh, yeah...!"

Breathing out a soft laugh, she grinned. "Wow, it looks great. This is really different."

This was a strange situation; you were stuck inside Armin's car, listening and watching as he spoke to Hitch (meeting her was a coincidence in itself) while she was clueless about your presence. In a supermarket parking lot, no less. If Connie were still here (which was a coincidence that you'd met him here, too), it would've been a lot weirder.

Armin pressed his lips together into a shy smile as the apples of his cheeks reddened, discreetly flickering you a nervous glance through the car window. "Thank you," he mumbled.

At this, Hitch shook her head. "You're so cute and innocent. Still the same as ever."

You smiled to yourself. What an unusual compliment. You were sure she meant no harm, but judging by the tension in his stance and the reluctant twitch at the corner of his lips, you started to think it wasn't so harmless.

The moment he opened his mouth to reply, she quickly turned to the sound of her name being called from behind her.

"I gotta go now." She gestured to her friend. "What a coincidence we met here, right? See you, Armin."

With a slow, sure smile, Armin finally eased from his awkward position, offering her a friendly wave. "Yeah, see you."

He shot her one more glance, and then you were suddenly hit with three things all in the span of what you swore was just a second: the door clicking open, the door shutting close, and the shuffle of his thighs hitting the seat.

"What a coincidence," you echoed.

For a moment, it was quiet, only the distant rattle of metal shopping carts and the slamming of trunks. Armin stilled, tense hands hovering the wheel almost ghostly, shrewd eyes unblinking and staring into nothing.

"Is that how people view me?" Armin's voice rang out, a clear tenor resonating in the calm silence. His hands were now away from the steering wheel and instead shoved inside his pockets, fishing for his car keys.

As the jangling and clattering filled your senses, you were left with no other option than to question him. "What do you mean?"

He wedged his keys into the socket, twisting until the engine whirred to a start, overlapping the sound of his exasperation. "Is that how people view me? I'm just so...I'm so cute and innocent. I don't want that. I don't—I don't like that."

You finally saw it now. You saw the shell—the fragile, little shell that he hid behind all this time. It was so clear, so telling, so reminiscent of the timid boy that used to cling to you when his insecurities deluded him.

"It was nice to hear these types of compliments at first, but it feels demeaning now, as if...as if people are looking down at me and seeing some weak, geeky, innocent kid that doesn't know any better. Makes me feel...inferior."

God, you felt bad. You'd be a fool for not catching onto his self-esteem issues—everyone would be a fool for not catching onto his self-esteem issues, and yet no one did anything. It was there, lingering, but never long enough nor clear enough for a real conversation.

You turned away with a frown. "Then, what do you want to be seen as?"

He inhaled sharply, but his final breath is barely audible to you, fluttering out in a hesitant rhythm. His eyes were trained on the road as he squinted and pondered over his words.

This was the second time this week that you were wrapped up in a personal conversation in his car.

Remind yourself to be careful next time.

"I don't know. Just not what I am right now," he muttered. "I want to be confident and, and—"

For a quiet moment, you listened to Armin stumble over his words. And when he finally gulped, he continued in a weighty whisper as you leaned in.

"Not a nerd. Not a lame, good kid. I want to be appealing. I want to be seen in a confident light. In a—in a sexual light." He was almost gulping down his words, shy and uncertain and...embarrassed.

And you, on the other hand, felt your cheeks involuntarily heat up. There was nothing inherently dirty about his words; it was just that you wouldn't have guessed he wanted to be like that.

With a long sigh, you replied, "I understand you, Armin. Um, I've known you felt this way for a while."

You had to know. You were aware of his image. After all, you had seen him grow up, seen the way he talked to people, heard all the things people said about him. Being close to him, you were privy to a lot of his thoughts, a lot of the sides that most people didn't see.

Except for this one.

The romantic, sexual side of Armin. Gosh, you didn't think there was one. Not yet, at least. You needed to be the person who helped him build it.

Even as you pondered what'd he'd be like (Would he get a lot of attention? How would he talk to people?) your thoughts abandoned you and drifted back to that guileless, pure, pretty-boy face of his.

Maybe you were just like Hitch. Just like everyone else.

When you didn't hear him answer, you felt an aching jab of regret swell in your gut.

"Armin, how about…" You clasped your hands together, playing with your thumbs as you cast him a glance. “…we work on it right now?"

"Wh—"

The car suddenly swerved.

You yelped. It sent you rocking to the side, pressing you against the door momentarily and leaving you steadying yourself on the dashboard.

"Armin!"

"Wait, what?"

He sounded worried, voice faltering and cracking a pitch. He looked like he saw a ghost, wide, frantic eyes and mouth agape in a way that confused you as you sat dumbfounded.

"What was that?!" You snapped your head towards him.

"Sorry! I'm so sorry! It's just that—" He frowned nervously, apprehension washing over his face. "Work on what? W—what do you mean by that?"

You sent him a quizzical look, one that almost mimicked his, as he brought a nervous hand to scratch at his neck. "What do you mean?" You jabbed an accusing finger at him.

"Um, you said we should work on it. I thought you—thought you meant...me being seen in a sexual..." he stuttered, cutting himself off as shame seeped into his red cheeks. His mouth was pressed together, and his hand quickly came to card through his hair anxiously. "Oh, God. Never mind."

Oh my God. You felt your face heat up and flush, and you couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or the dirty weight behind his words. He was next to you, shoulders tense and a flustered frown, and you instinctively averted your gaze to the window beside you.

"No, no! I mean, like, we can work on your confidence!" You shook your head. Gosh, how do you even recover from this? "You know, practice talking."

"Oh, oh. Yeah, um, we can do that. I'm so sorry," he rambled, a deep—almost shamefully deep—blush still dusting his cheekbones. Armin rolled his shoulders in what seemed like an attempt to relax, and you unconsciously mirrored him in turn.

"Okay, first, from what I saw with you and Hitch, make eye contact. It's just good to engage, and you'll look more confident. Simple, right?"

"Eye contact. Got it.”

"Let's practice, then." You humored him with a challenging stare. "Right now."

"Right now? But I'm driv—"

"Now."

His head immediately swiveled to you, and Armin briefly met your gaze, fear etched into his crinkled eyes, but the moment ran short-lived before the car swerved slightly. Again.

"Sorry! I got nervous." Armin's worry quickly dissipated into agitation. "I shouldn't have listened to you, Y/N,” he sighed.

You burst into laughter, releasing your hand from where it was clutching the door. "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I just wanted to mess with you."

Armin huffed in regret, but his pressed lips soon succumbed to that familiar, genuine smile. You knew he was weak to your jokes.

"Okay, you ready for the next thing?" You looked at him for affirmation, and he gave you a cute nod. "Next, talk to people like you already know them, like you're already friends. I guess just...try to open up."

"How?"

"Hm, you can tell them about yourself. Depending on the situation, try filling the other person in on what just happened. Don't be afraid to joke around and be sarcastic. But, still be nice about it, you know, be you."

"Oh, okay okay." 

"Oh! And another little thing, mirroring is good. If someone asks you a question, ask it again, and then answer it. It's more of like a teasing thing."

As the familiar array of brick walls and wood paneling and colored roofs filled your field of vision, you realized you were in Armin's neighborhood now. It was peaceful here—it always had been—and you were suddenly reminiscing about your childhood weekends playing on Armin's front lawn.

"I'll use you and Hitch as an example. You'll be Hitch, and I'll be you, okay? Ask me if I got a haircut."

He chuckled and flashed you a curious look. "Okay. Did you get a haircut?"

"A haircut? Yeah, got it yesterday. Feels weird, I've never had my hair this short before."

Armin's head drooped in laughter—and maybe embarrassment, bringing a hand to push back his bangs as he lifted his head. "Wow, amazing acting, Y/N." The car lightly rocked when he turned into his house's driveway, and his eyes drifted to your expectant stare.

"What, you don't like my haircut?" Your lips curl into a frown, and you batted your eyelashes innocently, a likely awful attempt at pleading. You cocked your head to the side.

He briskly shook his head, stammering, "No! No, I think it's great! Wait I mean—" Armin caught himself, smiling and laughing bashfully to himself as he twisted his car keys from the engine. It whirred to a baritone stop. "This isn't even real." He laughed.

His laughter contaminated you, sweetly ringing through your ears. "See, those are the kind of jokes you should make. It sort of flusters the other person. But don't do the face I made. That was a joke."

Unbuckling his seatbelt, Armin grinned wryly. "Trust me, I won't."

Before unbuckling yours, you punch him lightly in the arm. "Real funny, Armin. I like this sarcastic side of you."

The two of you stumbled out of his car, and the snap of the trunk door, the click of the doorknob, and the ruffle of grocery bags all passed in a moment you barely remembered.

Nighttime approached, and this time, it fell much faster and much more pleasantly than yesterday.

With the hours ticking by, you found yourself snuggled next to Armin, arm-to-arm and thigh-to-thigh beneath the weight of soft blankets and the drone of the TV. Some typical, cheesy romance drama. It was your last resort really, and he insisted that you both watch something new.

Armin was mindlessly holding the bowl of chips, fingers laying loosely around the rim as the contents almost tipped over. But you didn’t fix it; instead, you reached out a hand and plucked a chip from the bowl. He looked disoriented, almost entranced—a little too entranced—by the television screen.

By now, his parents had been long asleep. It was just you two in the dim light of his living room.

Just the two of you.

God, you were a hypocrite.

After what felt like an hour of stillness, you finally broke the silence.

"That's going to be you and Annie one day." You pointed at the screen.

Armin stole a glance at your face with sleepy, lidded eyes, pupils shrinking and dilating in the change of light. He peered back at the TV. It was the main couple, who finally kiss after a million episodes. The scene was corny, fake even, and the actors barely looked like they were really kissing.

He snorted. "That's if I get her to even fall for me. I doubt I have what it takes." A sigh slipped from his lips.

"Armin, I don't know what you're so insecure about. I know you have what it takes. And you're good-looking, too, okay?" You ran a hand through his blonde locks. "Promise."

Armin sank into your touch, the weight of his head heavy in your palm. "Feels good when you say that," he murmured.

An unconscious, courteous smile rose to your lips. A beat of silence passed, long enough for you to zone back into the show.

"Y/N?"

You craned your neck to him. "Hm?"

He was already facing you, nose a hair's breadth away from yours. Something curious swam beneath his pupils, startlingly intense and illuminated by the blinding light of the television.

"Would you—" He pulled away tentatively, gulping hard, and then he was quickly back onto you, inching even closer. This time, you feel a ghost of a touch grazing the tip of your nose.

Here it was.

You knew it was coming. You knew he was going to ask you a question—something so personal, so heavy—that only seemed to unfurl when you and he were alone. And you could do nothing but push aside the growing anxiousness that gnawed at your thoughts.

A breath of nervousness, and he resumed.

"Would you ever help me...physically?"

It came out in a hushed, uncertain whisper. His breath swept over your lips, a feeling that made you realize how intimate this was—how you two were so, so close.

You felt your eyebrows raise, because of the short distance from your lips, the way he gulped—the way you gulped, you were starting to think this might lead to something else. He only inched closer.

"What—" you stuttered. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm not really experienced in that—in that, you know, that kinda stuff." His eyes, bright and blue, slowly dragged down to your lips, then back up instantly. There was a new fear in his pupils, like he wasn't supposed to do that. "And—and I don't want to seem inexperienced in front of Annie."

At this point, you averted your gaze, but you didn't move. No, you wouldn't dare.

"Y—yeah," you breathed. "I would."

His face lit up, so subtle that you only caught it because you were this close to him. And it was warm—it was warm, his hand that was gently and carefully sliding onto your thigh. He looked so pure, so friendly. If friends even do this. 

"Really?"

You didn't even realize you had said yes. Your mind was clouded, teetering a fine line between hazy and even hazier. Your heart palpitated against your chest.

His lips ghosted over yours. No, even closer than that. Your lips were just scarcely pressed against each other, almost like the drama scene you’d just watched. 

It was going to happen, and you'd willingly let it happen. You closed your eyes.

And then you heard something buzzing.

Your eyes snapped open, and your gaze landed on the caller ID displayed on Armin’s phone, the brightness of its screen harsh against the darkness of the room.

A call from Eren.

No fucking way.

You reeled back in a daze, fingertips tingling with the aftershock of nervousness. You gripped the blanket with your other hand until it numbed the sensation, hoping it would ground you from what just happened.

Or what almost happened.

And Eren just called. How ironic.

Armin was a little ways off from you, cursing lowly under his breath as he accepted the call. But you sat there. You didn’t listen; their words filled your ears like cotton.

Armin shifted farther from you, head leaning into his phone. The blanket slipped down a little, and a chill ran up your spine and a wave of goosebumps hit you. Goosebumps that you swore had already been there from before. 

Was this it? Was this the practice he was referring to in the car? 

No, no, definitely not—you knew he meant much more. 

If you learned something today it was that one, you'd gotten a good scope of how he was with a girl, and two, you'd been a breath away from kissing.

From kissing. You almost kissed Armin Arlert, your best friend that you promised to help.

You pursed your lips.

Y—yeah. I would.

You couldn't go back on your word now.

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[aquagirl1978]

Chasing Fireflies - Chevalier Michel x Reader (Ikemen Prince)

A/N: Part of the Summer Days Sultry Night writing event I am co-hosting with @violettduchess

Pairing: Chevalier Michel x Reader

Prompt: fireflies and summer festival

Tags: fluff

“Look, Papa!”

The young boy proudly held out his cupped hands to his father; nestled inside was a firefly, its abdomen glowing brightly in the fading twilight sky. 

Chevalier smiled softly as he watched his son gaze at the firefly, his face alight with joy, amazed that amidst all the lights and sounds of the summer festival that this small creature captured his full attention.

“What are you going to do with him?” Chevalier asked his son as the firefly crawled along one of his small fingers.

The boy looked up at his father, his attention finally pulled from the tiny insect. “I’ll let him go,” he replied quickly, as if there was no other answer in the world. “I just wish Mama was here to see.”

“Your mother and sister will be back shortly. With a pile of books, I’m sure.” The firefly fluttered his wings before flying away, his flickering light soon disappearing in the distance.

“Goodbye, firefly.”

Something stirred inside Chevalier as he watched his young son wave goodbye to his friend the firefly. Looking back on his own childhood, he couldn’t recall a single, innocent moment like this shared with either of his parents. This. This affection, this connection, this love was everything he had been missing and craving for so many years.

That all changed when he met you.

Chevalier looked up, his smile bright like the firefly, as soon as he spotted your figure approaching. In one of your hands was a small stack of books pressed against your chest; the other hand held a smaller hand, that of your young daughter. 

Warmth filled his body with his family reunited, his queen by his side. No longer a strange feeling, it was something he secretly wished would never go away.

“What did you two do while we were shopping?” you asked, genuinely curious.

“I caught a firefly, Mama. But…he flew away before you came back.”

“Oh, that’s a shame. I wish I could have seen him. 

Something in the air caught Chevalier’s eye; he reached out, his fingers outstretched, quickly closing into a loose fist. He turned over his hand, his fingers opening to reveal a tiny firefly in his large palm. 

“Papa, you caught one!” the boy and girl exclaimed together excitedly.

Chevalier turned to you, proud to present you this prize. He cupped his hands like his son did earlier, careful to not let the firefly fly away just yet. He stood there silently, simply enjoying the childlike joy that filled your face.

Tagging: @redheadkittys @alixennial @rhodolitesroseforclavis @kissmetwicekissmedeadly @chaosangel767 @queengiuliettafirstlady @queen-dahlia @ikehoe @ikemen-writer @talfollowingstuff @kpop-and-otome @kisara-16 @altairring @lucyw260 @lordsisterxotome @violettduchess @umi-adxhira @bellerose-arcana @yarnnerdally @crypticbibliophile @lancelotscloak @scorchieart @tele86 @nightfoxqueen @melodiousramblings @wendolrea @aceuuuu @randonauticrap @aria-chikage

[theediviners]

𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐏𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐜 𝐀𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬

Collaborative PAC between @astrodoll2 , @neptunianrose, @m00nt4r0t , & @daarlingdatura

PILE ONE @astrodoll2

For this pile I’m seeing your strongest psychic abilities is your ability to manifest into the physical whatever it is you desire, you’d also be really good at witchcraft for this reason especially working with herbs and earthly things, a practical routine could suit you very well especially if you’re more of a logical person the more steps there is to something the more you may believe it’ll actually work since your putting effort into something you also without realizing it are putting intentions into it and greater energy which allows the power to manifest. You can manifest very quickly and easily especially with finances and material luxuries. You bring a lot of stability financially to yourself but you attract it most when you yourself are feeling stable and calm within, for as how they manifest whenever you’re generous with your resources and what you have to offer you receive it back 10 fold, you can be very fortunate and attract a lot of good luck but you could lose it just as quickly if you start doubting yourself, becoming worried or rushing/forcing things by being impulsive due to fear, since your mindset has alot to do with what you’re attracting over thinking negatively will do you any favors on the contrary the more you let go the more you bring in, don’t be impulsive but don’t be afraid to be bold and take risks, along with manifesting you can make actual wishes just by summoning your spirit guides and they will abide. How to strengthen this ability, well like I was saying before your mind needs to be at a relaxed state, meditation is recommended for you, don’t hold onto pains or past failures, you really need to let go of a lot of negative self talk or doubts within that create these limiting beliefs and cause resistance to your manifestions, speaking out loud in your room alone what it is you want like making a request to the universe or your guides, subliminals could help, don’t volunteer in gossip since it only attracts that back. Being optimistic and stable in the knowing that it will manifest is how you will bring it to you and once you start manifesting little things and keep seeing it come to fruition it will build your confidence and help you manifest a lot smoother because I see you will be a master at this once you’ve improved on your self worth especially, working on self concept is great but also because I feel like you may subconsciously feel like you aren’t deserving of all these luxuries you could get or feeling like you should work harder because you’ve heard others say things don’t come easy or money doesn’t grow on trees but honestly that is just a mindset which is why alot of people will stay at that point for basically their whole lives, so don’t let it be you, because I see that you’re meant to have all your desires as well all are but for you it will initially come easier maybe because you’ve had past lives where you were extremely good at manipulating energy so it’ll be natural once you get the hang of it. Let go and let flow. PILE TWO @neptunianrose

Beautiful are the gifts that have been bestowed upon you but the best of them all is your healing ability! Your words are melting walls away, caressing wounds, making worries disappear. Specifically, anything that is related to one's childhood and most innocent years can be so easily healed and through your help! You can identify hidden traumas and cuts. There are times when you think you've said the wrong things and get the truth is that you just hit clode to home, even without intending to. I like your energy if I am being honest. Your gift can be used as a weapon as well but that won't ever be the case cause you don't want to create pain. I am reminded of Katara from Avatar and her amazing skills. If you do intent to expand these parts of yourself you could become quite well known for it. There are many energy healing methods, reiki being the first to pop up in my head, which I recommend you to look into. Whichever stands out to you the best can be the gateway to a whole new path that will bring light into your life. Spiritualism seems important for you and your purpose! I usually dislike talking about things as if they are set in stone but you are clearly meant to use your inclination towards the mystical for helping people. Healing can be in itself a way for you to tend to your own wounds and help you process your grief better. I got the six of cups which makes me think that you can specifically access someone's inner child and fantasies. They feel safe enough around you to allow this aspect come to light and be shown to you (and that only tells us what a beautiful soul you have!). I want to say that, as rare as they might be, occasions in which your gift is turned against others are not impossible. Us humans can be defensive when pushed to, even the kindest of all. So don't underestimate your desire to hurt when you yourself are experiencing a big amount of anger. This is just an advice coming from the source to prevent you from causing too much damage (don't forget you are a human though and mistakes can be made).

What I am about to say in this part is very similar to the paragraph above but, with enough patience, you could easily channel any secret or hidden information. You have a psychic ability which you're unaware of that helps you remove the shadows and see what usually lurks inside of them. You have definitely used it unintentionally at times and most likely thought it was just intrusive thoughts but oh my, that is so far from the truth! I do feel like there is more to your gifts that have been revealed today but you must work on these for now before diving deeper.

PILE THREE @m00nt4r0t

okayy so as soon as i lit my incense, the flame was big and continued to grow in size. it was a bit hard for me to blow it out at first, but don't worry, i did lol. to me, this indicates very fiery and passionate energy, and that it must be contained before it gets out of control and engulfs everything in it's path.

what are your unique psychic abilities? i feel like a major psychic ability you possess is the power to avert danger away from you and others. there's this very protective, nurturing essence that surrounds you and basically scares away danger itself. i feel like the reason you have this is because of your emotional, loving and creative nature. you could've gone through some dark, traumatic experiences that have caused you to have this "man-eater" vibe (although the phrase specifies men, i mean it for any gender.) you have a very deep, emotional side to you that is very nurturing and caring, and you protect it with a harsh demeanor. you are a very passionate person and i wouldn't be surprised if you triggered heavy amounts of passion in others by simply just existing and doing your thing. you could be reposting whatever resonates with your energy and this inspires others to step more into the energy that you naturally possess. you are someone who is very influencing, whether you try to be or not. if you have any siblings, whether they're older or younger than you, i feel like they definitely look up to you and admire your style and your way of being. if they're older, then you influence them to indulge in more "youthful" trends and whatnot. okay, i'm also getting that part of your psychic abilities could be making others sick?? like, if they do wrong by you or have ill intentions with you, they become sick or their skin starts to break out, or maybe even someone they love gets sick. you also cause others to fear changes with you? like, whether the change is good or bad, people you connect with tend to be a bit intimidated by you and aren't very good at reading your emotions nor your energy, so they may think that certain things they say and do will cause a transformation in the connection.  also, you have the ability to take on a lot at once. even if you don't think so, you are very good at multi-tasking. i also think that you're most spiritually powerful whenever you're sitting down (or during moments of personal peace and stillness.) you have a lot of passed on loved ones by your side whom are also pretty powerful and they are part of the reason that others get sick whenever they cross you. also, i feel like your power heavily includes your knowledge and your wittiness. you're someone who knows a lot more than they say and this makes you so so so powerful. i feel like people know you know a lot, but they don't know what you know so this can be a bit intimidating to a lot of people. you may also know a lot of secrets which could include other people's secrets and secrets of the universe. i feel like you're more than capable of communicating with those on the other side and you could've been doing so since you were very young. i also feel like your family may be very similar to you in this way, even if they don't believe it. if you have an altar then this is increasing your psychic abilities more than you may have expected it to. lastly… your seductive energy is immaculate and every time you step into this type of energy, it grows stronger and stronger. i'm seeing an aura just expanding and engulfing more and more people within it. i don't want to get to explicit so i'll just say this: if you haven't studied sex magic, you probably should. also, adding your sexual energy into whatever you create will be extremely magnetising, so keep that in mind.

how do your psychic abilities manifest? your psychic abilities manifest in a way that makes others want to cling onto your energy for dear life. people refuse to let go of you. even if they don't speak to you, they will still think of you, check up on you online, ask people about you, be inspired by you, etc.  i feel like there's a lot of people from your past who are "stuck" on you, even those who claim not to like you (they're literally in love with you.) and although i said you avert danger, i feel like danger still lingers. to give you a visual, i imagine danger as some person looking at you through the window of your house; they can't get in, but they are watching. this could be in terms of evil eye and baneful magick towards you. i'm also getting that your abilities manifest in the way that others speak to you and about you. for example, people tend to feel very seduced by you so they flirt with you. another example, people don't want the connection with you to change so they over-explain and basically kiss your ass to stay on great terms with you. this feels kind of obvious but your abilities manifest in forms of creativity and random moments of intense inspiration that you get. if you randomly get the urge to write a song, write a book, draw something or make a piece of clothing, it's because your abilities are looking for an energetic outlet. you may tend to keep your abilities to yourself but they are begging to be released and seen/heard by others (3:33 on my clock) because whenever you do something creating, it is being driven by the powers you have within you and you're pretty much doing magick by creating, even if it is just a piece of clothing or writing on a paper. your abilities manifest in the littlest things you do, whether it be taking a bath, smoking a cigarette, laughing at something funny, dressing up to go out. all of it is, of course, inspired by your psychic abilities because they're so magnetizing that even you tend to get hypnotized by them. however, i do feel like whenever you're feeling extremely angry/sad/bitter, then it can manifest some chaos into your life if you don't release these emotions as calmly and quickly as possible. bottling up your emotions is not at all good for you and those around you because of how powerful you naturally are. i feel like you don't have to worry too much because of the fact that you're very protected, but it's still important to keep that in mind. your abilities also manifest in the way that you love and care for others, so i can definitely see a protective shield around those you love simply just because you love them. your abilities may also manifest in those you love and they become more enlightened in their own ways.

how to strengthen your gifts: as i shuffled an image of someone smoking (specifically a blunt, but could be anything) came into my head, so i think that smoking certain herbs (please study which herbs are safe to smoke) can strengthen your abilities! i feel like even smoking marijuana could be beneficial (when monetized) because it can help you analyze more and open up your mind. but, of course, marijuana does not impact everyone the same, so only take that if it resonates. also, meditate!!! meditation really helps to clear the mind of any excess "junk" floating around in there and helps for clearer intuition. if you already meditate, then maybe meditating for a few more minutes or lighting an incense while you meditate could enhance the effects. deep breaths will help you clear your mind as well. this is a pretty obvious one but the more shadow work you do, the stronger your abilities become. i feel like your abilities get "watered down" after long moments of not doing shadow work; this could be for many different reasons but a specific reason i'm getting is because when you don't do shadow work, you tend to be a bit more impulsive/chaotic therefore your abilities weaken for your own good. your abilities strengthen whenever you challenge yourself and allow some healthy competition into your energy. also, sleep!! when you get the amount of sleep that you need, it's easier to control and hone in on your abilities. whenever you take time to be alone and self-reflect, realign yourself and do shadow work, your abilities strengthen immensely. another way that you can strengthen your gifts is simply by not giving up; this shows that you're more than capable of what you got and that you're ready for more. 

PILE FOUR @daarlingdatura This is an interesting pile, I see that you may be someone who is able to predict loss, disaster, and other "negative" events. You are someone who's abilities are deeply rooted in their emotions & the impressions of energy around them. You're reflective, "like a pond" I heard. It's important that you take ample rest from social situations as necessary. I definitely see here that you may be someone who also knows how to like... take on the minds of other people? You can think through their heads if that makes sense. I also sense that you may be able to channel energy or intentions through your hands to bless, heal, hex, curse, or effect things in some way. It's interesting because I definitely feel like your nightmares could end up often being signs. You may also unintentionally dream walk, I see that you may also be prone to anxiety that isn't yours. It's important you cleanse regularly to avoid any entities taking advantage of you.

I see that you may have many more psychic abilities that you don't fully understand or that are still currently dormant. I definitely see that you are being prepped to develop extremely intense abilities. It reminds me of how in Wednesday her mom is a dove & she's considered a raven. You would be a raven, the way that you tend to pick up on danger & hidden information. You usually see through people very clearly, though at times the images can become distorted if you become close enough to the person. When you become incredibly close with someone there can be a sort of energetic merging. Where you're both in limbo drowning in each other's energy. I heard pathological, your abilities deeply deal with the mind & I feel called to say death as well.

I wouldn't be surprised if you have predicted deaths or if you have dreams where the dead appear to you with messages. I feel this has past life roots, it may be possible that you have a divine connection with death and the dead. You may find as you grow closer to people they are forced to shed old skins and rebirth themselves anew. In some ways you are a catalyst, but in a less explosive way. Your energy reminds me of a snake- which I think is beautiful. In ancient times, especially near the middle east female deities were often depicted as snakes or dragons. So this is definitely giving ancient energy. As your gifts develop you may begin to see/hear dead people, you could also develop insanely vivid visions. Some of the people in this pile have already begun developing this gift. I do have a slight warning here, make sure you regularly cleanse and ground. You are extremely connected & it's imperative that you prioritize your health. Your service or abilities either could already be highly sought after or will become highly sought after.

[simpforboys]

I'm not even sure if u want request for Aonung, but could you write cgildhood friends to lovers. Like they met when they were little kids and had like crushes on each other, but you know children, so then time skip and we see how much they have mature and they finally confess to ach other.

simply growing up

ao’nung x fem!metkayina!reader

summary: from silly childhood crushes, to confessing your love for your best friend

warnings: fluff!! childhood friends to lovers, soft!aonung, mutual pinning, this goes from 5 y/o-22y/o

first ao’nung fic🤞, the end is kinda rushed but it’s okay

5 years old

“you can’t catch me!” you shouted out to the boy, running as fast as your little legs could take you.

the boy just laughed as he ran through the baskets and nets, trying to touch in a game of tag.

his curly hair disappeared as you searched for the boy, heart pounding as you recovered from your run.

“boo!” he popped out behind a rock. you screamed from the jump scare, making ao’nung’s slender eyes fall as worry took over his face.

“it is okay! i am here!” he quickly hugged you, trying to calm you down.

you breathed against him, finally releasing yourself from his grip.

“tag!” he said, trying to get you to relax.

he took off running once again, making you stand in shock as he disappeared within the villagers.

7 years old

ao’nung invited you over for dinner with his family, and while you understood the leadership role, you never took it for granted.

ao’nung sat playing with you, wooden toys as you made them fight. you sat on your knees as ao’nung did the same, making fighting noises come from his mouth.

being a child, he wasn’t aware of beauty quite yet. but for some reason, you made him smile more than anyone else, and for that, you were the prettiest person ever.

“will you be my girlfriend, y/n?” he asked, his voice high pitched. you gasped, a smile on your face.

“yes!” you hugged him, the sound of your wooden toys falling made tonowari look at you.

“dad! y/n is my girlfriend!”

tonowari’s ears perked up, a laugh escaping his lips from his child’s innocent mind.

“is that so?” tonowari asked in a playful manner.

ronal peeked over, seeing the two children sitting side by side. she narrowed her eyes, almost investigating the sight. when she saw ao’nung’s big smile as you made a joke, she felt eywa ping her heart.

10 years old

ao’nung had insisted on playing tag once more. tsireya had already taken off as you followed the girl, laughing as her brother ran after you.

you were around 6’ now, your hair now longer as you kept it down. ao’nung had begun to wear his in a messy bun, strands of curl falling everywhere. he was still around 5’9, and you would tease him every chance you got.

“come on, pup ‘evengan (short boy)! you can’t catch us!” you teased, a big grin plastered on your face.

“over here!” tsireya lead you over to a bunch of bushes.

you missed her leaping over a vine and before you realized it, you already tripped over it.

your foot ached in pain as your knee and elbow were scraped up.

“y/n!” ao’nung called out to you, panic rising in him as you hissed.

“tsireya! go get mother!” worried, the girl took off as ao’nung brought you into his arms.

he inspected the cuts, little drops of blood escaping. the size of your ankle was beginning to expand, tears building in your eyes.

“it is painful,” you hissed out.

“i know, mawey (calm). my mother will be here soon.”

you were leaning yourself into your best friend as he hugged you tight, trying to distract you from the pain as he made silly faces.

by the time ronal had approached, your tears were dry and ao’nung was doing a funny dance. your giggles made her stomach churn, and she realized this was going to be a romantic thing within years.

13 years old

ao’nung had finally reached 7’ as you were well over, standing next to him at 7’6. you would constantly compare yourself to him, poking your tongue out as he pouted.

he had begun to notice your facial features, the way your hair cascaded down your body, and how big your smile was.

“when we are older, i will be taller than you. then who will be laughing?” he playfully rolled his eyes.

you teasingly shook your head, diving into the water to ride an ilu.

“come on!” you called out.

he followed you, reappearing with himself on an ilu.

“how about a game of tag?” you smirked out, your ilu riding close to his.

“tag!” you shouted, tapping his shoulder before you emerged yourself completely underwater.

ao’nung laughed, his ilu spinning around as he chased you.

“faster! you cannot catch me at that speed!” you signed to him.

the feeling of your ilu breathing against your legs only made your own breathing speed up. you held onto the handle, careful not to let go.

but as the ilu took a sharp turn, you were caught off guard and thrown off.

ao’nung had stopped his ilu at the surface, his eyes scanning for you to pop up. you finally did, panting out as hair fell in front of your eyes.

“are you okay?” he asked, memorizing every facial expression going through you.

"that was so fun!" you laughed, causing ao'nung to let out a sigh of relief.

"you frightened me, y/n."

"lighten up, ao'nung. i can handle myself." you shrugged.

his brow bone raised at you as you dove under the water once more, appearing on the other side of his ilu. he grabbed your hand, your body tightly against his as you rode back to shore.

15 years old

ao'nung had finally reached 8'5, leaving you at 8'2. he would tease like you did all those years, using your shoulder as an arm rest, even though you were barely shorter than him.

he was maturing in the face, his jawline stronger and hair neater. he was more well kept and aware of himself, and you noticed it.

you also noticed how your face would grow warm whenever he would make a comment on your height or tease you, your stomach flipping whenever he touched you, and the way you couldn't help but feel happy whenever he was around.

ao'nung observed how he also blushed whenever you touched, teased, or did anything. his pointed ears would fall flat and he would grin, laughing at your jokes even if they weren't that funny.

you grew into one of the prettiest girls of the village, your curls healthy as they bounced with every step you took. your eyes were a gorgeous shade of blue, one ao'nung described as looking directly into the ocean.

other boys had begun to take notice of your appearance, often trying to flirt with you or would grow nervous from your presence.

"hey, y/n." a boy that ao'nung knew had a very big crush on you approached you.

"kaltxì (hello), asen." you bowed your head back, showing him that you acknowledge his presence while you fed the ilus.

ao'nung felt his jaw clench as rotxo continued to speak about a dive he just completed.

"i was wondering if you wanted to take a swim with me?" asen said, a crimson blush on his teal cheeks.

"i- uh..." you trailed off, your ears falling as you looked away. asen was a nice boy, respected by many around awa'atlu. but your heart had started to lie elsewhere.

"we already have plans later." you never noticed ao'nung join you two, but you were thankful he saved you from having to reject the boy.

asen pursed his lips, his eyes switching from you to ao'nung. he opened his mouth to speak, but ao'nung's eyes were reptile like. he nodded, walking away, deciding not to get into it with the chief's son.

"irayo (thank you), ao'nung." you said.

ao'nung obviously had noticed your shy stature, but he wasn't sure if he had said what he said for your sake or his own.

18 years old

"ao'nung, it is around the time for you to find a mate. there are many fine women around the village." ronal spoke to her son.

he grew to his full height, 9'7, while you were stuck at 8'8. he had started to tower over his mother, much to her dismay to see her little boy so grown.

"none of them interest me..." ao'nung replied back, fixing his bun as he stared down at his mom.

"none? not even y/n?" she said knowingly. ao'nung bit his tongue, looking away from his mother's piercing eyes.

"she does not wish to court with me, mama. we are best friends."

"i believe different. eywa has given me a sign when you were adolescents, my son. she is clearly very fawn of you."

ao'nung stared at his mother, eyes wide and ears up.

"i have seen the way she acts around you. mother, and tsahik, always know best." she teased her son, bumping her with her hip as she walked past him.

ao'nung was left alone until you entered, laughing with tsireya as you met ao'nung's eyes.

"what is troubling you, big boy?" you teased.

you had begun to wear your hair with the front strands twisted backwards, shells and pearls in your hair. your hips were fuller and you definitely grew into your face.

ao'nung playfully rolled his eyes as he picked you up, causing you to squeal as he pretended to throw you into the ocean.

"who is troubled now?" he smirked, feeling you hit his back muscles.

he finally put you down when he felt you begin to untie his loincloth, scared the material would fall down. "hey! not fair!"

you were giggling up at him, smile wide with your eyes glimmering.

"i guess you're going to have to catch me in order for revenge." you shrugged, quickly taking off. ao'nung was right on your tail, laughing as your hair blew behind you in the wind.

you had ran a good 50 feet before he caught you, grabbing you in his arms as he began to tickle you.

"stop, stop!" you were laughing as he held you against a tree, your body squirming from the attack of his hands.

ao'nung finally stopped, his eyes staring into yours. it felt as if within the seconds of him stopping, eywa had a gravitational pull that was pulling you towards the man.

you finally snapped yourself out of the stare, looking to the ocean to see the tulkuns returning. you gasped, grabbing ao'nung's arm to pull him towards everyone.

"everyone! our brothers and sisters have returned!" tsireya was shouting from the ocean.

you had dived into the water, grabbing an ilu as you searched for your spirit sister. you had not seen her within 6 months, excited to catch up on everything.

the tulkun called to you, a smile growing on your face as you swam towards the mammal. "sister!" you signed.

the tulkun made a noise back, acknowledging you happily.

"are you with ao'nung yet?" the whale teased, knowing about your crush on the boy.

you rolled your eyes in a lighthearted manner.

22 years old

you sat on the warm sand, taking in the sun rays. your parents were pressuring you more and more everyday about finding a mate, and while your feelings for ao'nung were strong, you were certain he didn't like you back.

you heard splashing next to you, causing you to open your eyes. ao'nung sat next to you, his body language signaling he was stressed.

"i am tired of all this mate talk." he sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"that is why i began hanging here," you replied. you had started to hang out in a secluded area on the village, a place with shade that was quiet. all you could hear was the waves splashing as animals living.

"they just do not understand. they all found their mates immediately, and mine is taking quite a bit."

your heart fell from the boy's words. had he been looking for a mate that wasn't you?

"there are many of awesome women on the island, ao'nung. you are just too stubborn."

"the one woman i want does not want me back, i believe."

his eyes were transfixed on the ocean as he spoke. your heart was breaking, knowing he was speaking about someone that wasn't you.

meanwhile, ao'nung didn't know how to be any more obvious. he was not a very emotional man, but trying to confess his feelings for you was harder than expected.

"who is it?" you questioned.

"because i am sure whomever it is will be very fond of you. you are a skxawng (idiot), but you are good sometimes." you teased, even though your heart was breaking.

"it is you, ma y/n. i have loved you ever since we were children, and it has killed me everyday not being yours officially. i have only ever belonged to you, and my heart will only ever belong to you. i do not want anyone else but you."

the confession didn't process in your head immediately, causing ao'nung to grow nervous. had he lost you?

"i have only ever wanted you, ma ao'nung. always have and always will." you replied.

ao'nung's grin was so wide as he cupped your jaw, his fingers sending shocks into your body as he kissed you gently. you kissed back, the feeling something you had only dreamed about.

"i see into you, y/n." ao'nung mumbled when he pulled away from you.

"i see into you, ao'nung." you whispered, placing your hands on his shoulders to bring him closer to you. he kissed you again feverishly, your heart pounding in your chest.

it took a bit for you to pull away, but when you did, you saw him lift his queue.

"will you be my mate?" he questioned. you grinned at the man.

"of course." you lifted your own queue, finally joining his. the feeling was surreal as you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to feel him. feel his emotions, pain, memories, everything.

he had pulled your body to his, holding you against his. you opened your eyes to see him smiling down at you.

"i guess you finally caught me." you joked, causing him to laugh.

"and i am never going to let you go."

----------

tags: @mayhemories @useryourbut

[64yrsold]

you know where the city is

a bit different today! we're doing write anything that you want to week with @imightgetbetter <3 today's theme is early matty, so i decided to write about hearing "the city" on the radio for the first time :-) hope you all enjoy! - love, 64

I watched his hands jump over each other on the steering wheel, driving us around another winding curve. It was almost a spectacle, watching the light expose his bare arms, travel up his black t-shirt and crawl up his neck, then disappear before it could illuminate his mouth. Then he’d be covered in darkness again, until we reached the next street lamp.

“You can drop me home, if you’d like,” I offered, turning down the radio so he could hear me.

“Come on, stop it,” he frowned, glancing over to me, “We can stay out as long as you want.”

“I think my parents-“

“They’re fine,” he interrupted, reaching a hand to squeeze my knee, “They like me, don’t they?”

“Maybe not after tonight,” I quipped, rolling the window down. The air here always felt like a childhood memory, like after-school walks and first kisses. I liked the way it blew against his curls, frizzing the ends. He pushed a few strands behind his ear.

“I’ll get you home soon,” he sighed, hand firmly planted against my thigh, “Just wanted to show you one thing.”

"Oh, are you surprising me?" my voice wavered with excitement. He nodded, bottom lip wet as he smiled.

"I was out driving with the guys-"

"I don't want to know," I said quickly, earning a boyish giggle.

"No, it was very innocent, babe. I'm behaving, I promise," he stated, but his grin said otherwise. He looked at me from the corner of his eye, finding me unconvinced, "Whatever, I'll just show you."

"You boys need to focus on the band," I scolded, fingers tracing his cuticles.

He scoffed, "You know how committed I am."

"Mhm," I hummed, "You're very good, you know."

"I know," he half-joked. His palm opened around the steering wheel as he turned a corner. Trees were thick on either side of the road, the pavement transitioning to gravel.

"Where the fuck are we going," I whined, "Is this where you finally murder me in the woods?"

"Yeah, I've got the axe in the back," he nodded, slapping my thigh playfully. The radio was cutting out, fizzling with static as we drove further into the wooded area. I changed the station, trying to find one that was intelligible. We approached a clearing, and I switched the station once more, hand frozen when I heard a familiar punctuated bass drum. He slammed on the brakes. I lurched forward, hand against the dash.

"Is this..." I paused, staring at him with parted lips. He threw the car in park, tangling his hands in his hair.

"Holy shit," he whispered, stars in his eyes, "Holy shit!"

"What the fuck!" I yelled, grabbing him by the shoulders.

"What the fuck!" he returned, jaw hanging open. I could see the tears rimming his waterline, and he quickly covered his face with his hands. "I sent this song to every fucking station I know, but nobody got back to me, I-" He interrupted himself with a guttural scream. I screamed back at him, the car reverberating with his voice on the radio.

He dropped his hands to my neck, searching my face wildly. My face was aching from my splitting grin, my pulse crawling up my ears.

"This is it," I mumbled, tears stinging behind my eyes, "This is really it."

"I can't fucking believe it," he cried, grabbing my jaw and pulling my mouth to his. He laughed against my lips, emotions swirling between us. He kissed every unspoken word into my mouth, and I could taste the excitement like pennies on my tongue. He pulled back to scream the chorus, and I joined him, chanting the words wholeheartedly. I dropped my head on his shoulder, finding a sky of milky stars mirroring the faint lights of the city below.

"Don't forget me when you're all rich and famous," I whispered, wrapping my fingers around his.

"Couldn't if I tried, love," he smiled, "How could I ever forget this?"