hiraeth.
part II.
synopsis: she watches as cassian falls for another, grappling with her own hidden affections and their newly snapped mating bond in the process.
pairing: cassian x fem!reader
fandom: a court of thorns and roses (book series by sarah j maas)
genre: angst
warnings: none
a/n: house of balloons/glass table girls, this is his song... i love him. fluff part two coming up OBVIOUSLY, im not fucking ending it like this i cant do this to my #1 loverboy babygirl kitty princess beloved. @joyseuphoria hi <3
Cassian had always been the beacon of power and resolve, with a demeanor rugged and unyielding. But beneath the surface was vulnerability, and she knew that it was written in the stars for her to remain by his side as his closest friend and confidante, never to become one to uncover that side of him.
But it didn’t make it easier. Watching him as he fell for Nesta’s every glance, every touch, every word that escaped her mouth seemed to throw him deeper and deeper into a trance. And she was fine with that, and accepted it. Accepted that she would never be the object of his softened glances, his featherlight touches, his-
Her thoughts halted as Cassian stormed into the room, frustration radiating off him in waves. She glanced up from her book, her eyes immediately catching the tension etched onto his features. Without a word, she closed her book and shifted, making room for him on the couch.
Cassian collapsed beside her, his movements rough yet familiar. He stretched out, his feet finding their place on her lap almost instinctively. Y/N didn't flinch; instead, she settled into the comfortable silence, waiting for Cassian to speak.
"It's Nesta," he finally muttered, his voice heavy with frustration. "Training with her…it was like walking on eggshells. One wrong move, and she was tearing into me with those ice-cold eyes."
She listened attentively, her gaze soft as she absorbed his words. "It was like she was always testing me," Cassian continued, his voice growing softer with each word. "Pushing me to my limits, making me question everything I thought I knew about myself."
Her fingers instinctively started to massage his feet as he spoke. It was a small gesture, one born out of years of friendship and trust. Cassian didn't protest; instead, he leaned back against the cushions, allowing the soothing touch to ease the tension from his muscles.
As the minutes stretched on, their conversation ebbed and flowed, the weight of Cassian's burdens slowly lifting with each passing moment. Y/N listened, offering words of comfort when needed, but mostly content to provide silent support.
Cassian's breathing eventually evened out, his body relaxing against the cushions. Y/N glanced down to find him fast asleep, his features softened by the serenity of slumber. She smiled softly, her heart swelling with affection.
Suddenly, chains, bolts, and locks shifted, loosening, their weight growing just a little more tolerable. A soul peeked through. Broken, scarred, and trembling — with fear, she realized, but it stretched further and further. Yearning, searching.
It was as though a tether had snapped into place, an invisible thread binding her to Cassian in a way she had never felt before. Confusion flickered as she processed the intensity of the connection, the undeniable pull drawing her closer to him.
She was aware that this was not happening in the slightest. A mind trick. A dream, she thought. betraying once, the jolt of real-time that pushed through her. Burning her cheeks and stealing her breath. How the waking world slipped past the knobby parts of her fingers like a whisper, barely there, because dreaming was just a fancier word for getting lost. It held her there, suspended in imagination and for every second, it felt real. Like she could grasp the outlines and the textures. Like she could touch the weather, drink the clouds, and taste the sunlight.
The gods who had her in a chokehold withdrew.
Death feared her too, it seemed.
He was soaring in the air, and she was on the ground. She tried to reach him but he was far, far out of her reach. Seconds ticked by, and then minutes, and every thought that tried to sneak its way in, through this thick veil, bounced off and dissipated into thin air.
Because she then remembered… that beautiful things shouldn’t be broken. And she had a knack for breaking things.
The soft rays of dawn streamed through the windows of the House of Wind, casting a warm glow over the sitting room where she and Cassian had fallen asleep. As she stirred from her slumber, she found herself alone on the couch, the imprint of Cassian's presence still lingering in the air. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, her mind foggy with the remnants of… dreams? Visions? She felt as though the very fabric of her existence had been torn asunder, leaving her adrift in a sea of uncertainty, but when has that ever stopped her?
So she stood on the ground and longed.
part II here >>
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Dialogue Day
I was thinking it would be fun for us to share a section of dialogue that we like from our own work! It can be funny, sad, ridiculous, mysterious, plot-centric or just characters shooting the breeze…anything! And it can be from a WIP or a posted fic! It can be short or long! Let’s celebrate our beloveds having a chat.
❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜
I shall start with something cute/stupid (cupid!!!) from a WIP:
Carlos curves his hands around TK’s neck. “TK, Look at me.”
“I can’t.” TK breaks, looking anywhere but at him. This being dazzled thing – it’s mutual. And maybe this is the emotional equivalent to how Carlos feels about being physically naked in a public space. He just wants to swim away. “And I won’t.”
“What? Why not?”
“Your eyes are too big.”
“Excuse me?” Carlos scoffs.
“They are too big.”
“Nobody’s ever told me that they’re too big before.”
“They’re so big they see everything,” TK tells him, a little snarly.
“That scares you, huh?” Carlos runs a hand through TK’s wet hair, pushing it up from where it’s flattened against his scalp.
“It would scare you too.” TK wafts a hand at Carlos’ face, feeling foolish and vulnerable. “If it were the other way around.”
Carlos kisses TK’s forehead in a motion that hushes him, and then nuzzles his own forehead against it. The bridges of their noses touch, and they both shut their eyes. “It is the other way around,” Carlos says, “Sometimes I can’t look at you, either. And I mean that as a compliment.”
And I’m going to tag (with no pressure!): @heartstringsduet @goodways @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @reyesstrand @paperstorm @strandnreyes @welcometololaland @liminalmemories21 @ladytessa74 @alrightbuckaroo @rmd-writes @howlingsaturn @tailoredshirt @chaotictarlos @lightningboltreader @meditating-honey-badger @taralaurel @bonheur-cafe @freneticfloetry if you want to share!
Please do tag others if you want to, and send it around!
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Also here’s some other fandom charms I plan to make more of with other characters kyaaa
Very obviously I have frieren god would strike me down if I didn’t draw her actually and I’d willingly throw myself into the abyss. I have a sketch of fern sleeping clutching her staff but I’m I forgot to take a screenie of it LMDAO 🔥🔥🔥
Next is momo ayase because Lawrd. Lawrddd i love Momo and okarun and genuinely the main friend group in dandandan and was gonna also sketch okarun at the time but I fucking hated drawing his possessed form -
I wanted to give her, her semi translucent hands which’s means I gotta understand correctly how Vograce does transparent stuff, I’ll probably make her charm holo as well depending on my mood
Also lastly senku oooooo I fucking finished the manga for dr stone after bingeing the anime again and I am SICK!!! SICK IN THE HEAD!! He means everything to me I fucking love scientist characters just look at modzilla and I love senku + his two girlfriends Gen and Tsukasa because I never see any content for those three 💔
Anywyas I wanted to draw him with his little catch phrase in an dynamic pose an I swear I’ll finish it he means everything to me
Technically I also have a Dipper Pines charm and some Fairy Tail charms (especially of Lucy Heartfilia) but I haven’t found a pose that’s really stuck with me for Lucy and I gotta make dipper’s thing a good bit more cohesive before I decide to move on with the design :3 I hope I’m able to make all of these cool charms tho
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