#college is ruining me <3
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at 16 I saw Yato's "don't stress about picking the perfect career because doing something you don't wanna do is part of having a job" and felt comforted, at 19 I was like "man, he has no idea what he's talking about, if you pick a hobby for your career you won't work a day in your life!!" and now at 24 I am back to the first one but in a "YEAAAAH DON'T DREAM OF LABOR SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACKKKKK" way
#yato working class icon <3<3<3<3<3<3<3#noragami liveblog#what changed my mind is that i picked a hobby as a career and college ruined any and all fire i had in me. i don't wanna know what a job#will do considering i will be underpaid and underappreciated
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workin’ on stuff… ✍️
#wip#fnaf#fnaf ruin#fnaf security breach#glamrock freddy#gregory fnaf#vanessa fnaf#3 star family#realized i never posted a wip here so i’m gonna change that!#apologies for lack of art recently.. college prep is keeping me busy!!#anyways them!! i’ve been wanting to make another 3 star fam piece for a while so i am doing just that#the bg took me. so long. i just finished it today but i am loving the turnout so far!#hopefully i can get this done soon bc this has already taken me almost 20 hours 🙏
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So, @silv-paru sent Sherlock Holmes for the character opinion bingo. thanks a bunch for this (and for your patience. my god, i’m answering this a week late. typical me behaviour). you’re a darling :D
Did you know, i used to tell these stories to my friends? they delighted in them AND i got a chance to sort of ramble on and on abt him and watson. it was a win-win, really. ah, those were the days! now i haven’t reblogged much of him this month at all. i miss him. I MISS HIM.
Onto the bingo: well. he’s The quintessence of gender™ to me. and i relate to him so so much. fav character of all time fr. i want to carry him in my pocket at all times & study him. like. do i want to BE him OR am i IN LOVE with him, ykwim? pssh who knows? certainly not me. uh-huh ‘a beast unleashed’ -does this refer to me or him? you choose. oh re: canon, i’m ignoring the part where holmes dies (or y’know, is dead for 3 years). that’s too angsty.
#sherlock holmes#my dearest blorbo#he’s my belovedest chewtoy basically#if i think abt how modern adaptations *looking at you bbc sherlock* have ruined his character i get so angry i have to take deep breaths#*mutters darkly* he is NOT an arrogant cold-hearted bitch like he’s portrayed; well he IS a bitch but not a cold-hearted one!!#see. the thing abt holmes is that he’s SUCH a sweet boy okay. and he’s compassionate#he cares sooo much. that’s the reason people come to him when they’re distressed. they trust him#he hates the police. he is a jester at heart. loves his watson#he’s here to help the truly desparate helpless people even if they have no money to pay him for the case. no questions asked. But-#he fucking despises obnoxious rich men. the first time he meets watson a total stranger he *very excitedly* tells him abt his experiment#it’s very adorable. he never stops trying to impress ever. infact blushes furiously when complimented by him#my guy has 0 knowledge of our solar system but he’s written several monographs abt different types of ASHES. go figure!#OH i almost forgot the most important fact he’s special to me bc holmes is an audhd gay disaster bastard. sometimes he’s even bisexual#but mostly he’s acespec and in a qpr w watson. he’s VERY adhd. behaves like an excited cat and oh so cute when he stims. everytime he does#i go SQUEEE. when he’s depressed it’s a goddamn hashtag big mood. as in many other ways he is me i am him#he’s PASSIONATE and KIND that’s all you need to know#acd stories are about just some guy who loves his job (which he invented himself btw after quitting college) that’s it#i am overcome with an almighty need to squeeze his cheeks#he’s everything to me <3#alright if i don’t stop now i doubt i ever will LMAO bye#acd holmes#if u read till the end u get a cookie and a kiss on the nose i love u
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ahh i feel yucky
#just mad about life again <3#mad that my doctors told me not to go to college yet#and now that i probably could if this medicine works#i dont see the point anymore#what i wanted to do wouldnt get me anywhere#i just found that out without even trying it for myself#like i guess its good cause i dont have loans lol!#but i wish i wouldve had one shot to try it out#like. im a kid im supposed to find stuff out the hard way right??#yeah i got the easy way out financially and time wise but. i didnt even get to try i didnt even get to see what it couldve been like#and im mad i spent all of my youth with my shitty stupid ex that just had to rape and abuse me like it didnt even matter#im mad that he gets to ruin any future relationship i have even though he isnt around anymore#it isnt fair none of its fair#im gonna be 21 next month and all i know is not even getting the chance to fail and not even knowing what love is supposed to look like#what do i have to show for any of it?#i look at people i grew up around and theyre all finding their ways and doing things we talked about when we were kids#ive always felt like im just watching everyone grow up like a tv. im just sitting infront of it and theyre all going#and i thought maybe that wouldve changed by now i thought maybe id catch up#maybe i was naive or stupid to think it would change because it hasnt#im scared that im just gonna be one of those people that just doesnt really ever do anything#and it wasnt even up to me! i had such big dreams and then i had to have some stupid pains#and some stupid doctor had to tell me to hold off for a year#and its like the drain was pulled in a bathtub and everything just started to go down#whatever#im done ill be fine#tbd
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goodnight baby love
#if u are one of the like three people I need to respond to rn … forgive me for I am mentally and physically exhausted <3 work was bad 2day#also Greta if u post anything after I go to bed pls don’t let it be josh I can’t deal with fomo rn#anyways………..#I applied to go back to college today so#that’s funny#I always said I would rather die than go back to school because college is a scam but we are in some absurdly desperate times <3#so yeah#and I have like. 4 jobs I need to apply for#I’m so stressed and overwhelmed lmao#oh and#have I told y’all I’m moving back in with my parents ??#yeah#they’re building me basically a studio apartment in the basement so that’s fun and funky#but I’m conflicted because as excited as I am for the weekend because no work#my roommate has been gone for a week and comes back this weekend#and I have to tell her I’m moving out when she gets back 🧍🏻♀️#which. under normal circumstances would be fine#but with my roommate ….. there are not normal circumstances#so yeah I’m very stressed !!!!! and my job makes me want to jump off of a cliff on a daily basis so I truly have not been able to rest lmao#I really need to stay with my company for a few more months because I have so many trips coming up but it has fully ruined my mental health!#anyways … if u pray please pray for me rn LMAO I’m going through it 😭😭😭😭😭😭#on a more happy note I see my fav band again 2 weeks from today :)#I get to see my Franniiiii <333 I love and miss her so bad#shoutout to anyone who read all of this LMAO#also I had a background check today for job purposes and the guy who did my fingerprints was very cute !!!!!! THAT WAS SCARY
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kny x tokyo ghoul au
was thinking abt following tokyo ghoul's storyline and making nezuko get organ donor ghoul-ified like kaneki but on second thought that seems a bit boring. the slayer marks (tanjiro's specifically- that one frame in the red light district arc where he looks like hes absolutely lost it) made me think of the sort of insanity thing with centipede kaneki when he started eating ghouls. (nezuko's bout of literally losing control of herself beating daki is probably a bit closer tho) dont know what to do with that. tanjiro being human and having to keep nezuko safe with her new life as a half-ghoul is pretty cool but i dont know. could make it different
#sakonji as coffee shop owner and sabito & giyuu as workers and the fox squad being the underground Good Ghouls makes me kick my feet#goth/alt vibe makomo as the mask maker MWAH and sabito & giyuu playing as regular college kids. giyuu 'eating' out with friends and#sabito drive-by eating his food before booking it (Sabito-! you bastard!) and later when theyre alone giyuu holding his hair back#(you should stop eating my food all the time..) ((im fine- as long as it makes it easier on you))#tanjiro working as a server & nezuko more as#.#i forgot hanae-san also voiced Kaneki#what the fuck is it with him and voicing the main characters of anime about the morality of cannibalism#its not much but its weird that its happened twice#i completely fucking forgot abt that and here i am literally putting tanjiro in his place#as i was saying nezuko has a 'job' there but shes not actually employed or forced to work she just hangs around in uniform like her brother#while tanjiro's the one thats employed. shes the cute mascot of the place and sabito gets hype with her and it entertains ppl#sabito nezuko interactions beloved<3 she makes him go big brother mode#giyuu's behind the counter helping sakonji make coffee so he doesnt have to interact with people (as much)#something something also half-ghoul genya being an antagonist at first until tanjiro & nezuko's bond makes him change his mind#and he becomes the newest employee at the coffee shop. que him and sabito bickering at eachother like children and tanjiro being so#sweetfaced and genuinely kind to him & giyuu being a chill comforting presence he can go to#confides in them his fear about his brother and the guilt he feels for being around them bc it puts them in danger#mm#sweet au. great playing field to ruin absolutely everyone#i should rewatch/read tokyo ghoul its been almost a year i think#do that then decide how i want the au to play out if i want it to try to follow that storyline or if i should do some worldbuilding fuckery#of my own instead to completely change how nezuko & genya's half-ghoulness would happen#i remember i dropped tokyo ghoulre but i dont remember why. didnt bother after that Hide scene in the anime but i dont remember y the manga#i was listening to Seijatachi for writing vibes and stared a bit too long at the album image i put#kny#tokyo ghoul#kamado tanjiro#kamado nezuko#kny x tokyo ghoul au
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my brain is too fried to finish this assignment :')
#welp. i made good progress! almost finished 3 assignments in a week#detailed too. just the last section is. oough#woogh#x.x#@~@#everything#and nothing#it was a good run#o7#or maybe i just need a break#i dont wanna ruin my sleep schedule again tho :(#hope the college teachers nicey to me#posts.nae
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writing smut is so tiring. gn.
#aatalks#started a college!sukuna fic and let him fuck on the first chapter#it's on me honestly#i'll continue RoB with katsuki when the inspiration hits again </3 i don't want to ruin it bc i'm rushing it
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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers! :D!!
peruvian food
a hot shower
spending a day in my apartment
adding a new picture / ticket / scrap of paper to my room's walls
sharing a meal with a friend / friends <3
#1 and 5 both being food-related#i feel like as a kid i always wanted to Leave the dinner table#but now i love talking to my friends#i really just work and do things and live my life#until the next time i get to see an old friend#college ruined me so now i need to see my friends like#...#everyday#thank god for my roommates#but when they go out of town#i literally go through a sad episode#or when i come back from seeing friends i go through a sad episode#i love you i love you i love you#dash rambles#dash answers#thank you for asking!!!#it was nice to think about what i'm recently enjoying <3
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red and blue will never look the same to me…
#lesbian#oc#digital art#art#artists on tumblr#klance#voltron#ive connected the dots#brain is working so hard right now#its 3am#i have to leave for college in 3 hours#WHY DO THEY HAUNT ME#klance ruined my life#god i hate this
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guys if i asked, would you tell me your angstiest y/n moment?
#reinas.inretrograde#i can start. i’ve sent this on anon to saintobio before so if it sounds familiar that’s where#but i was dating this guy in college who was in a fraternity#i wasn’t in greek life but his brothers all loved me and he’d take me to all their socials and formals. like their sorority and a lot of#their greek friends knew i was dating this guy.#and we signed a lease together for an apartment the end of our sophomore year. i went back to my parents house#and that same night his pledge brother called me and confessed that my ex had been cheating on me.#and just in front of their bros and they all had been hiding it but felt guilty bc they didn’t think i deserved it#so he confessed the truths and said that i could never tell my ex how i found out or else i’d ruin his relationship with his brothers#and so when i confronted him. the man who i did almost all my firsts with. who has repeatedly told me i love you. who had mentioned hewanted#a family with me.. instead of apologizing or feeling guilty or anything#his first reaction was ‘who told you? who told you? which one of my brothers said this?’#and the betrayal from his brother outweighed everything and it took another nasty 3 months to separate#but yeah i’m just curious what’s everyone’s angsty y/n mome#*sister sorority#tw cheating#in the tags
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Y’all I went to all my classes
Drop praise in the chat😩
If you wanna see my daily rant it’s in the tags but if any of the subject matter makes you uncomfy then feel free to block those tags :)
#bunny rambles#slight rant tw:#mental health#medication#depression#seasonal depression#yo okay so college has actually been beating me to a pulp???#like#I thought I had gotten into the grove of things but daylight savings happened and it’s dark asf so#my seasonal depression decided to kick itself into gear and ruin whatever plans I had#I’m also on the spectrum so things changing outside of my control absolutely sends me🤡#idk I’m just like really frustrated and tired and ugh don’t even get me started on my medication#like I’m in my third year so I should have my shit together but I just don’t and it’s really just rahhhh👹#and class was particularly difficult today because I couldn’t sit still and the professor was just talking about deeply sad shit and I have#her classes back to back so I’m there for almost 3 hours#in the same🥲fucking🥲room🥲🥲
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when the very small amount of people in my life who know i’m a lesbian still talk about me dating guys 😃 like
#no cause i’m gonna tell u guys abt this convo i had w my sister the other day#we were talking abt her dating older guys cause she has a type lmao#and i was like what would you do if i was dating someone more than like 4 years older then me#and she was like ‘i would punch him in the face’#dramatic asf#and i was like ummmmm him ? 🧏♀️🧏♀️#and idk maybe she just got confused cause we WERE talking abt older guys but like i mentioned a hypothetical situation where i was dating#someone and she immediately assumes it’s a guy …..#i know it sounds stupid but like i’m out to less than 3 people i know irl and she just blatantly disregards my gayness ???#GODDDDDDD#like i have to talk about men all the time with EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS AND HER !!!!!#and one of the very few times i talk abt myself and bring up my own dating life ….. and she says hypothetically id be dating a man#it makes me wanna scream just thinking about it again#it immediately ruined my mood#it sucks having no lesbian friends in real life 🤭 like actually devastating sick to my stomach can’t recover type shit#but yk what#one day i’ll make it to one of the like 5 lesbian bars that there are in the US and i’ll meet some friends#ITS GONNA HAPPEN#i’m manifesting it#maybe once i get to college i’ll meet less straight ppl and more LESBIANS#I WANT LESBIANS !!!!#and also i was talking to this other person who’s pan#and they asked me what my sexuality was and i was like im a lesbian#and they go “i like everybody. which unfortunately includes men😪’#bitch …… 😕 you’re kidding me rn#ur joking#pls never say that to me or any lesbian ever#bc i promise u i’ve DREAMT abt the idea of being attracted to men and how much easier that would be#obviously it makes me nauseous thinking abt it but at the same time if i had a CHOICE#since when is there a 30 tag limit i’m trying to rant
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side note for everything tho I start work on monday and I’m so anxious I feel like I’m gonna pass out
#personal#it's not exactly negative but jfc I am so scared for so many reasons#1) what if I lose all my personal time#2) what if I discover that I'm so bad at my job that I can never make it in the field and I have to start over from scrath#scratch after 8 years of college and grad school#and all of that time was wasted#3) what if I ruin everything they've been working on this year and they hate me forever#4) what if my colleague who's in the same grad class as me and is also at this site does such a good job that even if I do an okay or even#mediocre job that I look like an unprepared dumbass who doesn't care about it in comparison#oh I guess this is#negative#I am Afraid!!!!!!!!!!#5) what if I actually /am/ just lazy and unprofessional like my last manager kept implying over and over and over
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i'm still gonna be angry and hold onto this anger for a long time because i was DISRESPECTED. not wanting to be around me and constantly making up excuses was DISRESPECTFUL. acting like "i" was the needy clingy one when i was watching someone i cared about start to pull away and abandon me was DISRESPECTFUL. guilt tripping me and talking about being better off alone and always being left behind by other women was DISRESPECTFUL. lying and gaslighting me about flirting with someone when it happened right next to me was JUST as disrespectful as it happening in the first place!! I don't know where to put this anger!!! I don't know what else will help!!! but acknowledging what happened as something extraordinarily disrespectful and a failure on that person is incredibly cathartic, because i deserved the entire world after everything i went through to keep that person with me, and then they decided to discard me?? no no no they are an ANT beneath my heel now. they are a WORM. a miserable PARASITE.
#i had my whole life going for me. i was fresh out of college at my first Real Job and he ruined it all by getting mixed up with me#a real man would've left me alone to establish myself. a real man wouldn't have fucked around with someone else's partner.#i no longer blame myself because i was vulnerable and traumatized and it was already obviously a mistake on my part#but that person knew full well he had no fucking business getting involved with me and HE KNEW i would fold#everything lead me to exactly where i am right now and some of it is good but it's been the most difficult 3 years of my life#almost as dark as when i was still IN college#it's like i pulled myself out of hell only to be plunged deeper into it
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Having SUCH an on-brand moment rn as my neighbors are all partying for halloween while i lay in bed with an ice pack and ear plugs trying to drive away a migraine
#me a college student: why are college students so loud#to be fair i WAS going to try and do something a little more fun tonight but the head stuff ruined those plans#ear plugs coming in clutch though#i usually get anxiety not being able to hear stuff since i live alone#but god it’s worth it#if i had to hear ‘DRINK DRINK DRINK’ chants one more time my brain was going to explode#hope yall are all having a better spooky saturday than me tonight <3
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