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noteguk · 3 years

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bad behavior | jjk | m

This is in the same universe as “bad influence.” It can, however, be read as a stand-alone.

— summary; in which staying late to volunteer at a self-help meeting was the best decision you made in a while.

— contents and warnings; smut, the endless adventures of badboy!jk x goodgirl!reader, public sex (in a church…), dirty talk, fingering, degradation (name calling) but also praise, unprotected sex, clothed sex, creampie, cum play, there is a window and also reflections, rough sex, cockwarming, jk being a lil shit because that’s his main personality trait, jk smokes (only mentioned), enemies to fuckbuddies: dawn of the first day

— words; 8.2k

— author’s note; for the anon that asked how their first time was like ;) join me as we explore the lore of this godforsaken couple

It was your mother’s idea for you to find a new place to volunteer. According to her, it had been a long time since you experienced “the invigorating energy of community work” — last time was when you were trying to level up your college application — and it could really “soothe your anxious soul” during the trying times of college finals. Apparently one tutoring program and two research projects weren’t enough to distract you, but you could see where she was coming from.

In the end, you accepted. The old places you used to volunteer in had either shut off their programs or were just too far away from college for you to consider. At first, you decided to follow your mother’s suggestion and tried to work with children — “small miracles”, as she called them — in a local daycare. Which ended up being a terrible idea.

You liked giving back to the community, you really did, but it wasn’t long until you realized that working with infants hasn’t been your wisest decision, and that children weren’t miracles at all. You got tired of going home covered in paint and with pieces of playdough entangled in your hair, and that was when you weren’t unlucky enough to get hit with other, less clean fluids.

So you eventually gave up — both on the daycare and on the faint idea of one day going into pediatrics — and searched for a new place. After having to yell your way through retirement homes, and getting fed up with washing people’s sidewalks, you finally settled in a program that was flexible and light enough for your intense college hours: preparing (and then later cleaning up) a room that was reserved in a local church for weekly meetings.

The entire ordeal took about two to three hours off your day, and more than half of it was spent as free time: waiting for the meeting to end, cramming piles of information in a small room next door. You didn’t really know what the meetings were about since they changed practically every month — they were, at first, a support group for teenage mothers, then it became an AA meeting, then a group for drug users trying to quit. Lately, you were starting to think that the church just gave away the room for whoever had the money to rent it, so it wasn’t a surprise when it was reserved for a motivational speaker to give confidence lessons.

You had researched the guy, some old dude with an unpronounceable name and a sketchy background, and found exactly the type of person you had expected. Yes, you were in the house of Christ, but you were still being heavily judgmental of the fact that he was giving those talks when he had no qualifications whatsoever, and was probably making bank off all the self-help books he regurgitated at least twice a year to prey on vulnerable people. You did share your worries with the administrative office of the church, but they ultimately fell on deaf ears, and you gave up on the idea of kicking his ass out of the holy grounds anytime soon.

It was after one of those pseudo-motivational talks that you walked into the empty room, ready to clean everything up before rushing back to your place, where your roommate had promised to greet you with some wonderful takeout. The chairs were still placed in a circle on the center of the room, where they had been since forever, and you made sure to align them perfectly before you moved on to the litter that had been thrown around the place.

One good thing about those self-help meetings was that they were a lot cleaner than a lot of other attendees, so the “picking up the trash until your back started to hurt” part passed by surprisingly fast. You had just moved on to the snack table, analyzing what you could still save, when your soul almost left your body.

“Hey, you,” you heard a known voice behind you. “What are you doing in here?”

You swiftly turned around, heart thumping violently against your ribcage. You didn’t know how you hadn’t let out the biggest, most blood-curdling scream ever, but that was just the first of many miracles of the night. “Jesus Christ,” you wheezed out, taking one hand to your chest. “You shouldn’t sneak up on people like this.” You swallowed dry, some part of your brain recalling that he had asked you a question. “And I’m volunteering here.”

“I didn’t sneak up on you, you’re just jumpy.” Jungkook scoffed, leaning against the doorframe with that stupid playful smirk curling up on his lips. You didn’t know they allowed demons inside the church. “And of course you are.” He rolled his eyes.

Maybe a few months back, his mocking tone would’ve stung a bit more. However, you had been tutoring Jungkook for about three months then, suffering through endless sessions of his whining and complaining, and you’ve grown used to his passive-aggressive antics already. You learned that Jungkook was a shark seeking for blood, waiting for any crack that would allow him to jump into a perverse little joke — about how you behaved, your priorities, or even the color of your highlighter. You, of course, always stood your ground and threw his comments right back at him — which was his initial plan, as you’ve come to realize. Jungkook enjoyed playfully arguing with you, and you thought that it was another level of strangeness and masochism you simply didn’t have time to dissect.

Still, Jungkook (shockingly) wasn’t the terrible person you once thought he was. Every once in a while — when he was trying to talk you out of teaching him — the conversations you two would have were actually mostly pleasant, and he wasn’t awful to hang around when he dropped the whole badass persona to act like a real human being. You would even dare to say that Jungkook could be actually funny at times, and not in the bitter, sarcastic way he usually was. Sometimes, you dared to think, he could actually be reasonably nice. And also kind of cute. Even hot.

But you would never actually admit any of that out loud. Or even to yourself, really.

“And you?” You asked, turning back around to face the table full of half-eaten food. That looked like a battlefield, and you could already tell that there were only a few survivors left standing. “What are you doing here? Repenting?”

Jungkook chuckled dryly. “You wish. My parents want me to quit smoking,” he said. You could not see him, but you could hear him walking closer to you as you fumbled with the large Tupperware. “We settled on this crap instead of a forced intervention.”

You scoffed. Most of the food before you was unsalvageable — some of the cupcakes had been bitten once and then placed back, and you wondered how someone like that could function in society. “You don’t seem very motivated to quit,” you mumbled.

Jungkook clicked his tongue. “I don’t really care.”

His voice was much closer to you, and you felt the air leaving your lungs for a pitiful instant. You convinced yourself you had only gotten scared again. “You should care about the growing possibility of lung cancer.”

He shrugged. “Maybe. But it’s not really on the top of my list of priorities at the moment.”

“And what is?” You asked.

“Amongst other things…” he trailed off and, suddenly, he was standing besides you, pointing at the chaotic pile of sweets. “I actually came back to grab another one of those cupcakes. The chocolate ones are great.”

You didn’t know why, but his comment broke the odd tension that you didn’t even know that was there, clicking you back into your previous mentality — the one that you just wanted to finish cleaning up so you could leave soon. “All yours,” you told him, “grab as many as you want.”

Jungkook hummed in satisfaction, reaching out to grab one special brown cupcake — an untouched one, thankfully. “I love when you talk dirty.” He almost moaned before shoving the cupcake inside his mouth, taking a huge bite off it. Dramatically, Jungkook rolled his eyes and sighed in delight. “These are fucking great.”

You chuckled, glancing at his direction. Jungkook was dressed in all black, like he usually was, and you were starting to recognize a newfound admiration towards his constant use of leather jackets. What? He looked good. “I’m glad the self-help sessions are paying off,” you commented, swiftly placing the cupcakes inside the transparent container.

Jungkook was paying attention to your actions now, like he noticed you were there working for the first time. “What are you doing with the rest?”

“The church will probably donate it, give it to the homeless or something.” You shrugged. “Or they’ll eat it, I don’t know. I just clean up the place and leave.”

Jungkook laughed at that, taking another monstrous bite from his cupcake and throwing himself on one of the nearby chairs. Your eye twitched a little at the thought that he had ruined your perfect circle, but you’d have to fix that on your way out. “Sounds absurdly boring,” he sang. “And they’re not even paying you.”

You sighed. “After all the places I’ve volunteered in, boring is a blessing,” you told him. You had just placed five hot dogs in the container, and you were starting to wonder if it would be a good idea to feed people in need with those suspicious sausages. “But, yeah, you probably don’t care about any of that.”

“You don’t know what I care about,” Jungkook said matter-of-factly. You didn’t know if he was trying to tease you, but his voice came out so soft and monotone that you couldn’t really be mad about it. It was true, after all: you didn’t actually know what he cared about. Sometimes you thought that he could read you better than you could read him. “Want me to stay here with you? This place is probably empty already.”

You could not hold back your laugh at that, turning around so you could look at him. “Are you offering to be my bodyguard? In a church?”

Jungkook pouted. There was a thin line of chocolate on the side of his lips, which he quickly licked clean. “I’m trying to be nice.”

You giggled, turning back towards the disgusting food. The rest was mostly trash, but you were happy enough with the amount you had managed to find in a good state. “That’s new.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked. “I’m always nice.”

“Always is a strong word.” You smiled, closing the lid of the Tupperware. You had managed to fill three small containers with the leftovers and, honestly, that was a big victory. “But you can stay or you can leave, I don’t mind. I’m almost done anyways.”

He frowned. “Is that your answer?”

You turned around. “What? You want me to beg for your company?” You smiled. ��You’re mistaken if you think I’d ever do that.”

“I’m staying.” Jungkook crumpled up the piece of cupcake wrapping and threw it in the trash can besides your body. He watched you for a moment as you started to throw the leftovers away, your back turned to him and a distracted look on your face. When he broke the silence again, you were throwing the last piece of bread in the bin. “Why are you volunteering?”

“Because I like giving back to the community.”

Jungkook sneered at your words. “Seriously now. Don’t lie, we’re in a church.”

“I do, actually,” you stood your ground. There was a vague sound of crickets coming from the half-open window and the low buzzing of the fluorescent lights above you, but, other than that, the city was covered in absolute silence. Perhaps that was why you felt so at peace. “But my mom told me it would be a good thing to keep myself relaxed. You know, take my mind off college stuff.”

He hummed, and you heard him getting up from the chair. “You always do what your mom tells you?”

You met his gaze. “Didn’t your parents make you come here?”

He smiled. “Not the point.”

Before you could hold yourself back, your lips were curling up. Again: Jungkook wasn’t absolutely awful to be around when he actually acted like a human being. “When she says something I agree with, yes,” you told him. “My ego isn’t bruised when it comes to following someone’s idea.”

He raised his eyebrows. “You’re saying that mine is?”

“I didn’t say that.” You smirked and turned back to the table. You started piling up the used plastic cups, already eyeing all the used plates, forks and knives that you’d have to throw away. The daycare had better eating manners than that. “Thought we were talking about me.”

“We were,” Jungkook agreed. One of his inked hands moved to the table, and you were about to tell him that he could eat more of the cupcakes when you realized that he had started to reach for the discardable plates, throwing them away. You really didn’t think he’d help you. “Finals are coming up, though, and you care about that shit. Shouldn’t you be using this time to study or something?”

“I study while you’re out here listening to becoming your real self or, I don’t know... waking up the giant within,” you said. “I’m fine, don’t worry about it.”

He hummed, his nose cringing up at the disgusting remains of food that stuck to the plastic forks. Jungkook seriously didn’t know how you could do that for fun. “You know there are better ways to relax than cleaning up a dusty room, right?”

“Probably,” you agreed. The cups were already in the trash, alongside with the plates, and there were only a few crumpled up napkins to get rid of before you tasted the sweet nectar of freedom. “But here I am. That’s what I chose for myself.”

“Literally any other option would’ve been better,” Jungkook pressed on. “Isn’t that obnoxious friend of yours in cheer or something?”

“Who? Jisoo?” You smiled at him. No one had ever called her obnoxious, but you couldn’t say that the title didn’t fit. Jisoo could be really… intense when it came to standing up for what she believed in. “She is. She invited me to join her already, if that’s what you’re gonna ask, but it’s not really my thing.”

“It’s a shame,” he mumbled, leaning against the table. It was a beautiful miracle how clean that room had become just by getting rid of the piles of gross food, and you had proudly thrown the last piece of paper inside the trash bin when Jungkook spoke up again. “You’d look really hot in that outfit.”

You stopped in your tracks, taking a second to digest the claim he had so mindlessly thrown your way. Just like all-things-Jungkook, a pleasant conversation could not last long, so you weren’t even surprised that he managed to ruin that talk with such a fuckboy-esque comment.

Also like all-things-Jungkook, he managed to awaken a reaction out of you that you didn’t even know could be there. With a faint heat in your cheeks and a frown blossoming amongst your features, you actually felt a little bit of... satisfaction with the fact that he thought that you’d look hot in that skimpy outfit. At the same time, you wanted to slap yourself for falling into his charms so easily.

In that conflicting turmoil of emotions, all you could say was a monotone, “You cannot be serious right now.”

Even if you kind of wanted him to be serious.

“I’m being dead serious,” Jungkook didn’t back down, much to the elation of your ego. You felt like a schoolgirl being recognized by her crush, and the idea alone made your stomach curl onto itself. What the hell were you even thinking about? Yeah, Jungkook was pretty hot, but he was also kind of a douche and you didn’t want to get involved with that mess of a person. Or at least that was what you were trying to convince yourself of. “I mean…” he continued, “you’re even rocking this knee-level dress right now, can’t even imagine how you’d look if—“

“You can shut up now, Jungkook, thanks,” you interrupted him. Because you didn’t know how to act when he was so blatantly flirting with you, you switched back to the same passive-aggressive behavior that you had given him for the past three months. Call it self-preservation, call it panic, but your mind simply didn’t know where to go from there. “And I’m also done here, so you can skidaddle back to whatever swamp you came out of.”

“Awn, don’t be mean, princess.” He pouted. Jungkook was a master at getting you worked up, and you had just given that to him on a silver platter. Maybe if you had mock-flirted back, he would’ve baked away. You would never know. “I was just fucking with you, you’re too easy to tease.”

You pressed your lips together, hip touching the corner of the now empty table. “You were pretty much harassing me,” you said playfully.

“I was not.” Jungkook smirked, shoving his hands inside the pockets of his pants. When had the two of you gotten so close? There was barely any space between your chests. “But it’s okay, I’m not gonna compliment you anymore, don’t worry. You don’t have to be so defensive.”

“I’m not being defensive,” you said, defensive.

“What, is it the church setting?” He raised his eyebrows, taking a look around. “Is it making you uncomfortable?”

“No,” you answered, crossing your arms before your chest. Jungkook followed the movement and his gaze got stuck on the shape of your breasts for a second too long, making a newfound wave of heat rise up to your cheeks. “Not as much as you’re trying to make me uncomfortable right now.”

He chuckled. “You do look cute when you’re shy,” Jungkook teased, taking a step towards you, and you took another one back, pretending you were just going to lean against the table. You sat on it in a weird diagonal position, with one leg still on the ground and the other dangling over the edge. Jungkook was so close that, when he spoke again, voice just above a whisper, you could feel his breath on your skin. “If you don’t want me here, just ask me to go and I’ll go.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came out. The atmosphere was filled with electricity, your body drowning in the warmth of his presence, the sharp seriousness in his dark eyes, and you could not bring yourself to say anything. Did you want him to leave?

No, you realized in a rush of adrenaline, you didn’t want him to leave at all.

Jungkook raised one of his eyebrows. “Hm? Nothing?” He smirked, placing himself between your legs. Every nerve of your body was screaming for you to touch him, to just wrap his mouth with yours, and you simply could not respond to any of its commands. “You’re full of surprises.”

You found your voice at that comment, heart hammering against your chest. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re a smart girl, you can figure it out.” Jungkook placed one strand of your hair behind your ear, his gaze flickering down to your chest. From where he stood, he could see the beautiful mounds of your breasts peeking under the fabric, licking his lips at the sight. “Can I at least say that I like your dress?”

Jungkook’s palm slithered up your knee before you could even react, moving towards your inner thigh and raising your dress along with it. His touch was electrifying, and you found yourself craving more of it, a sigh caught on your throat at the tenderness of his hot skin.

“Something tells me that your compliment isn’t so innocent,” you told him, leaning your head back slightly so you could hold his gaze. “Aren’t you gonna complete that and say that I would look better without it?”

Jungkook chuckled. “The idea is compelling, I’ll admit it,” he said, rubbing soft circles on your skin. His other hand slithered around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “But don’t need to take it off to fuck you.”

Your eyes grew wide at that, brain short-circuiting. You frankly couldn’t believe that was happening — the fact that Jungkook was so shamelessly trying (and honestly succeeding) to initiate sex with you. In a fucking church too, of all places. “What- what did you say?”

“You heard what I said.” His stare didn’t falter. Jungkook was looking at you like he could eat you whole, and you seriously wouldn’t mind if he tried to. You'd deal with the social and psychological implications of that another time. “Just tell me to stop and I’ll do it, princess. No hard feelings, promise.”

This time, you spoke out and the firmness and certainty in your voice surprised even yourself. “I don’t want you to stop.”

“No?” His voice sounded like honey, so deep and melodic even through the thick layers of his sarcasm. You had never heard him get so serious, so focused, and the thought that it was all for you was igniting a fire inside your guts. “You wanna get fucked in a church?”

You bit your lip, blinking up at him. The point was: you wanted Jungkook, of all people, to fuck you. The fact that it was in a church was just the cherry on top, and you didn’t care about it as much as you should — your mom would be weeping blood if she knew what was going on, but you weren’t planning on telling anything to anybody. “And what if I do?” You asked back teasingly.

Jungkook smiled, knocking the breath right out of you. You could only hope that you didn’t look as horny as you felt, because your pride was still on the line. “Told you that you were full of surprises.” He pushed one of your legs open, making you lose your support on the floor. Now, both of your feet were dangling off the edge, body trapped between his strong arms and thighs on either side of him. “Are you a virgin, baby?”

You shook your head, and your voice reached you a bit later. “No.”

“Naughty,” Jungkook said, leaning in. He stared at you like a lion stalking its prey, his gaze lingering on your parted lips before, at last, he tilted his head to the side, deciding to move towards your neck instead. “But if you have the taste I think you do, you probably had some lame missionary sex with some goodie-two shoes.”

When he started kissing your neck, you almost forgot to give him a response. You had to bite your lip to suppress a moan, instead producing a low, shaky sigh. “And if I did? What’s the problem with some lame missionary sex?”

“No need to get mad, I’m on your side here,” Jungkook said, one of his hands navigating up your waist, between the valley of your breasts, before grabbing your boob. That time, you couldn’t hold back the whimper that escaped you. “Did he make you cum?”

“Sometimes,” you said, slightly flustered. You didn’t think you’d be discussing your sexual history with Jungkook, but, well, there you were. “He was alright.”

“Only sometimes?” Jungkook chuckled, the vibrations of his deep timbre vibrating through the sensitive skin of your neck, his thumb grazing your nipple. The heat between your legs only grew, your entire body practically begging to feel more of him. “That’s a shame, I could do better.”

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t start getting cocky.”

“I never stopped being cocky,” he responded without hesitation. Well, he was right. “And I do have a good track record.”

“Doubt it,” you said, the ghost of a smile lingering on your lips. You knew that you were playing a dangerous game, pressing right at the weak spots of his inflated ego to see how he would react. Perhaps you’d be luckier trying to poke a bear with a short stick. “You wouldn’t know the difference between a real and fake orgasm even if it hit you in the face.”

Jungkook leaned back and looked at you for an instant. You knew he had caught onto your challenge straight away. He liked it as much as you did, there was no doubt about that. “Let’s see, shall we?” he asked. There was no denying the devilish aura that was all around him now, suffocating you with its tempting heat. “How long do we have?”

“I’m locking up the room tonight,” you said, watching as his eyes sparked with an emotion you could not decipher. “But I wanna get home before ten. Have homework.”

You could see him fighting against the natural urge to ridicule you for saying something like that at such an odd time, but, at the end, he managed to avoid it. “More than enough time.” Jungkook placed one hand on the back of your neck, gaze darting hungrily toward your lips. “Come here.”

And then his mouth was on yours, and everything else was white noise. Jungkook kissed you much slower than you had anticipated, taking his sweet time caressing your mouth with his; hands exploring the curves of your body and teasing their way underneath your dress. He sighed heavily against your mouth when you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss, his soft tongue poking out and entering your mouth perfectly. Jungkook was a good kisser, you had to admit it, and he got your knees weak sooner than you’d like.

His body was hot and firm against yours and you could feel the outline of his abs underneath your fingers as you trailed your hands down his torso; his quick heartbeat drumming on your palms. Jungkook’s breathing got heavier as you hooked your fingers on the hem of his pants and tugged him toward you. Instantly you noticed the outline of his hard cock against your inner thigh.

Then, something switched. Just as you had reached out to touch his hardness, squeezing it lightly underneath your fingers, Jungkook groaned against your mouth and bit down on your lip. You had barely any time to react before he was pulling away from the kiss, gaze darkening.

“Such a tease,” he mumbled hoarsely, his breath hitting your mouth in soft waves. His hand was hovering over your heat, his middle finger pressing down on your sensitive nub, making you whimper. “You don’t know what you do to me.”

Jungkook was much quicker than your thoughts and, within a second, the motion of your panties being pushed aside made you fumble closer to him; your hands holding tightly onto his shoulders when he finally decided to touch you.

“Fuck,” he groaned next to your ear, making your mind go blank for a split second. The teasing motions of his digits brushing your entrance were enough to make you whimper, hips thrusting forward in a failed attempt to make him move further. “Look at this, you’re soaking my fingers. Wanna get fucked that bad?”

But he didn’t let you respond. The sudden intrusion of two fingers inside your pussy made your back arch, nails digging in the leather of his jacket as Jungkook opened you up. “I—” you tried to speak, but it was hard to think when he started pumping his fingers in and out of you. The sounds of your wetness were a filthy symphony filling the quiet atmosphere. “Jungkook, what—”

“God, that’s so tight,” he groaned, speaking through clenched teeth. His voice was enough to shut you up at the spot, a frail moan dripping from your lips. “Relax, baby, you’re too tense. Let me take care of you, alright?”

You nodded, eyes drifting shut as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of you. You hated to admit it, but Jungkook was already winning against your ex by a long shot: the way his digits brushed inside you, gradually moving apart to stretch you, got you searching — begging — for more. You were sure you could cum around his fingers and, when he curled them up and they dragged against your sweet spot, the idea became a lot more palpable.

“Jungkook, you’re taking too long, I’m gonna cum like this,” you complained, chest rising and falling under the waves of your upcoming orgasm. You could feel it building up in your stomach, ready to snap, and you didn’t want it to happen around his fingers. “I wanna feel you.”

Jungkook breathed out at your needy request, placing a kiss against your jaw. “I’m just getting you ready for my cock, baby,” he said. A loud moan dripped from you when he unceremoniously added a third finger, your legs trembling on either side of his body. “I don’t know if you can take it.”

You scoffed. “Don’t flatter yourself,” you said, only half aware of the fact that your voice sounded more like a whimper than a serious comment. “I can.”

He smirked wickedly. You really were pushing his buttons. “We’ll see about that,” Jungkook responded.

Within a second, right as your orgasm was about to wash over you, he removed his fingers from your pussy. The frustrated moan you let out was quickly swollen by him, his mouth rogue against yours and the sweetness of his tongue intoxicating you — probably those stupid cupcakes, you thought.

“Turn around for me,” he asked.

You quickly did as he requested, putting your feet on the ground before turning your back to him, hands leaning on the table. Jungkook placed one hand on the curve of your spine, pushing you down until you had your chest against the surface, ass perked up and pussy in full display for him. There was a gush of cold air against your flesh when he pulled up the fabric of your dress and tossed it over your waist, exposing your lower body for him.

The boy hummed at the sight, one of his legs kicking your feet apart so he could position himself in the middle of your thighs. “You’re pretty all around,” Jungkook commented, one of his palms grazing your asscheek before grabbing it. His motion was harsh, needy; earning a whimper from you. “Knew you would be.”

Through the dense clouds of your desire, there was still some part of you that managed to make fun of that situation. “You spend your free time thinking about my ass?”

“Won’t answer until I have a lawyer present,” he joked.

You felt his fingers hooking around the fabric of your panties, pushing it further to the side so you had your cunt fully exposed for him to see. The drumming of your heartbeat almost drowned out the low groan he produced at the sight of your flushed heat.

“Princess, your pussy is dripping so much…” Jungkook trailed off, one of his fingers tracing a line between your lips. He felt the urge to eat you out, to lick you completely clean and make you cum on his tongue, but he decided that would have to wait for a different time. “Is this all for me?”

“Yeah, all for you,” you said, weak. There was a thundering exasperation building up inside you, motivated from your denied orgasm and from the way that Jungkook was taking his sweet time.

“Good girl,” he mumbled and your chest was filled with pride. “Can’t wait to fuck it.”

“Then don’t wait,” you practically begged. “Just rush.”

He removed his finger from your heat. “Shh… be patient,” Jungkook told you and you swore you could practically hear the smile in his voice. You could hear him shuffling behind you, the sound of his zipper opening echoing around that still room. “I’m gonna give you whatever you want.”

You whined at the abrupt feeling of his warm cock rubbing between your folds, its tip hitting your clit after every languid thrust. “Fuck,” you cried out, shaky. Jungkook wasn’t lying when he said that he was big, his length was so thick that you were starting to get second thoughts whether you could take it or not. Not that you would ever admit it out loud. “Just put it in, Jungkook.”

But Jungkook was having way more fun just teasing you. “Pussy’s so wet for me.” He breathed out, his hands tightening around your hips. You felt him throb between your folds, and the sensation got you searching for air. “You’re soaking my cock, baby. You want it that much?”

“Y-Yeah.”

Jungkook hummed, leaning in so he could place a kiss on your shoulder. “I’m gonna fuck you like you deserve to be fucked, princess,” he promised, his length still rubbing between your folds. He was so hard and heavy that your mind was spinning, your lungs drowning in expectation. “Gonna fuck you so well that you’re never going to forget it. Do you want that?”

“Yes,” your voice was a pathetic moan, and you hated your body for betraying you so easily. “Yes, please.”

After another pec on your shoulder, Jungkook leaned back. “Be loud for me, alright?” He asked. “Can you do that for me?”

You swallowed hard — what were the chances that someone would hear you? You had no idea. “Yeah, whatever you want, just fuck me.”

“Whatever I want? That’s a dangerous thing to say.” He moved around behind you, making you flinch when you felt his cock align with your dripping entrance. The anticipation was driving you insane. “Might have to see if you’re up for it another time.”

There was an answer somewhere in your mind — you could swear there was — but it was quickly forgotten the second that Jungkook pushed himself inside you. The drag of his cock was a delicious torture, streching you out and filling you up to the brim until you were shaking under his touch, both of you moaning at the sensation.

“Oh my god.” You breathed out, hands turning into fists on the table. Your cheek was pressed against the polished wood, hot breath creating small white clouds on the surface.

Jungkook released a shaky sigh when he felt you clenching around him, your body desperately trying to move closer to him. “Fuck, baby,” he hissed, his hands holding onto your hips for dear life. Gradually, he moved himself away from your pussy just so he could slam back inside, marveling on the way you trembled at the feeling, crying out his name in the prettiest of whimpers. “Your pussy is so fucking tight. Squeezing my cock so well.”

Took you only an instant to realize that you were absolutely addicted to the feeling of his cock inside you, the heavenly push of his hardness in and out of you as he slowly started to set a pace. “Oh my god, I’m—” a pitiful hiccup interrupted you, turning your voice into a sharp cry. “That’s so good, Jungkook.”

Jungkook chuckled behind you, his thrusts starting to pick up speed. Your eyes closed in endless bliss, every part of your brain focused on the sensation of his fat length stretching you up. “Told you I’d be, not my fault you didn’t believe me,” he said, but you could tell that his confidence had started to wear itself thin — he, too, seemed to be much more focused on the way that your bodies met. “Do you touch yourself, princess?”

You almost didn’t know how to answer him, a deep heat rushing up to your cheeks. “W-What?”

“When you’re alone, baby,” he practically hissed. You were bouncing on the table then, your body jerking up and down as he fully pistoned his cock inside your heat. “Do you play with your little pussy?”

“Y-yes,” you stammered, embarrassed. “S-Sometimes.”

“Show me how you do it,” he requested in-between huffs, lust dripping from every syllable. Jungkook spoke to you like a siren, effortlessly inducting you to comply with everything he wanted. “Come on. Don’t be shy, I wanna see you play with yourself for me.”

You didn’t even know if what you were feeling was shyness, but there was a veil of hesitation that covered your actions. As your hands moved downwards, one of them clenching around the fabric of your dress and pulling it up while the other trailed over your mound, you felt strangely vulnerable, exposed. At the same time, you wanted to do what he asked you to, wanted him to wash you over with compliments until your mind was going blank.

So you closed your eyes and focused on the sensation of two of your fingers coating themselves in your wetness, then their pressure on your clit. You whined at the feeling, pleasure exploding in your veins as you started to rub yourself, tracing small circles on your sensitive spot. There was no way you could ever reach that sensation again, the sweet motions of your fingers combining perfectly with the thrusts of his hard, fat cock inside you. You were doomed.

“That’s it… just like that, baby,” Jungkook whispered, obsessed with the sensation of your walls fluttering around him. You had gotten so tight that he thought he would see heaven at any second now. “Feels good?”

“Y-Yeah, so good...” you struggled to get out, “feels amazing, Jungkook.”

“So perfect for me,” his praise shot straight up to your core, making you mewl under him. God, the way that you were tightening around him was going to drive him insane. “You feel so fucking good, I can’t stop fucking you.”

Jungkook took one of his hands to your neck, using it to guide your body upwards until you had your back pressed against his chest; his hot lips assaulting your neck. The new position made it so much easier for his cock to drill inside you, reaching even deeper and hitting sweet spots you didn’t even know you had. It wasn’t long before you were moaning out, eyes fluttering shut as the pleasure overtook you.

“Just take a look at that, baby,” his voice broke you out of your hypnotized state. “Look at you. Such a good slut, just taking everything I’m giving you, touching yourself for my cock… fuck. Could watch you like this forever.”

You had to take a moment to understand what he was talking about, and then you saw it: the window. It stood silently across the room from you, half open, and the glass combined with the darkness of the night gave a perfect reflection of the two of you. You could see yourself, the mess you had become, as Jungkook pounded in and out of you and your fingers worked on your clit; the darkness of his hungry gaze as he followed the motions of your body against his.

Even if you cried out at the sight, your body freezed up a little at the thought of someone walking by and seeing that private spectacle. The possibility itself was minimal — the window gave way to the side of the land, where a big, thick fence separated it from the nearby houses; most of the ground covered by large trees and bushes — but it wasn’t zero. You couldn’t even begin to imagine the humiliation that would come from being seen like that.

He, of course, noticed your change of demeanor right away, and you could see in the faint reflection that he had smirked at that realization. “What is it? Are you worried someone is going to walk by?” Jungkook almost groaned against your ear. His cock continued to pump ferociously in and out of you, and you couldn’t even understand your own thoughts for a moment. “That someone is gonna see you get fucked like a good slut?”

“It’s not—” a moan cut your sentence short. Not like you knew where you were heading, anyways.

“No one is gonna see you like this, know why?” Jungkook was grunting, his fingers tightening around your throat. You cried out at the feeling, your cunt clenching around him in a way that got him fucking you even harder. “Cause this is all for me. Just for me.”

Then he was pushing you back on the table, your chest crashing against the wooden surface and his hands yanking you by the waist. Jungkook was fucking you so hard that your worries left you as soon as they arrived, your mind a turmoil of desires and broken exclamations that didn’t give space to anything else but him.

“You look fucking gorgeous like this, stuffed with cock,” he marveled at the sight. There was a known wave of pleasure hovering over you, ready to crash at any given moment, and you stopped rubbing yourself just so you could prolong its arrival. “Wanna see you cum for me, make a mess for me, baby.”

The words left you in a confusing, broken order, “Jungkook, I can’t… too much… can’t...”

“Shhh, you can,” he was slowly easing you into your orgasm, his cock drilling in and out of your pussy. Jungkook fucked like a machine, fast and precise, and you didn’t think you’d be able to forget that anytime soon. “You told me you could take it, so now you’re gonna take it. Don’t you wanna be good for me?”

“I- I want to… I’m so close,” you cried out, pressing your forehead against the table. You didn’t know how it hadn’t broken yet, with the way that Jungkook was fucking you so mercilessly hard. “I’m so, so close.”

“Cream my cock, baby, come on,” he urged you on, his member throbbing inside you at the thought. Your legs were so weak that you knew you’d fall facedown on the floor if he wasn’t supporting your weight with his strong arms. “Be a good girl and cream my cock for me.”

And that was it. That was all that you needed to push yourself over the edge, submerging you in ecstasy and making you squeeze him so deliciously. “J-Jungkook!” You moaned out his name again and again, unsure of how loud you were being, but also not caring as much as you should. Jungkook realized he loved hearing you call his name more than anything else. “Fuck! Oh my god!”

“That’s it, baby,” he moaned back, his thrusts a sloppy, uncoordinated mess. He was hypnotized by the view of your cunt hugging him, your wetness dripping down your thighs as you rode out the last seconds of your orgasm. “Pussy’s so fucking tight, so fucking perfect— gonna cum too.”

You gasped out at the sensitivity that was starting to spread, every movement shaky as you tried to push yourself against him. “Yes, please.” You looked over your shoulder, meeting his hooded gaze. Jungkook looked like a god, his dark hair sweaty and messy and his lip trapped between his teeth. That image would plague you forever. “Cum inside me, please.”

He groaned loudly, eyes closing for a second. “Fuck, that’s so fucking hot,” he hissed, chest heaving with anticipation. You knew he was close, everything pointed to that, and all that you wanted was to see him reach his high, using your body like it was just a doll for him to fuck. “Didn’t know you’d want to be filled up with cum, princess.”

“I’m full of surprises.” You smiled — a pretty, fucked-out smile that got Jungkook grunting like a madman. “I want your cum inside me, Jungkook, please.”

“Gonna fuck you full of my cum, don’t worry— Shit.” The sounds he was making were heavily: those breathy, high-pitched moans that echoed all around you; broken by deep grunts that had your thighs shaking. Jungkook fucked himself in you like he was meant for it, throwing his head back and closing his eyes as he finally found his orgasm. “Fuck! That’s it, fuck—”

Jungkook called out your name and mixed it with praises and curses when he came, spilling himself inside your pussy. You sighed at the feeling, taking in the blissful sensation of having his hot cum spilling out of you, dripping down your legs as he continued to thrust inside you, milking out his orgasm.

At last, he started to wince from sensitivity. His body collided against your back, his heavy breathing fanning your neck as he tried to collect himself. “Fuck, baby,” he mumbled, “you’re amazing.”

“You’re not so terrible yourself.” You could not help the smile that appeared on your lips, nor the way that you melted against the surface of the table, drowning in his heat.

Still, you couldn’t stay there for much longer: it was already a miracle that no one heard the chaos going on in that room, and you weren’t trying to push your luck for the night. Especially since you had a pile of homework (and possibly — now cold — takeout) waiting for you at home.

You raised your body, leaning against your elbows. “I have to leave,” you told him, taking one of your hands to lay on top of his tattooed one, trying to ease his grip from your waist. “Now if you could just…”

“Shhh, shhh,” Jungkook hushed, unrelenting. He was much stronger than you, and your muscles were too weak for you to try and do much, so you eventually gave up. “Stop moving. Let me feel you around me for just a bit more.”

You frowned. “Why?”

“I like it,” he said simply. His breath was a faint caress against the skin of your neck, and you didn’t have much fight left in you. “We all have our tastes.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re so weird.”

“Don’t kinkshame.” Jungkook pouted, then pressed a kiss against your shoulder. “You just begged me to fuck you in a church, remember?”

“Yeah, I guess I don’t have much place to judge.” You laughed dryly, then looked over your shoulder. “Why is your cock still hard? How long is this gonna take?”

Jungkook groaned, clearly annoyed. “Shut up and enjoy the moment.”

The so-called moment lasted about two more minutes (which was kind of impressive, you thought) before Jungkook softened and slipped out of you. You hated to admit but you kind of liked the feeling of having him still inside you, completing you as his lips danced around your neck; fingers tenderly playing with your hair. You never thought Jungkook would be so gentle after fucking you like that, but you guessed that you weren’t the only one that was full of surprises.

Jungkook, apparently, also liked to admire his work. After he had slipped out of you, he made you sit back on the table just so he could stare at his own cum dripping out of you, a glimmer of satisfaction in his dark gaze. He had pushed his white release back inside you and smirked up at you, asking, ever so kindly, for you to go home like that, filled with his cum.

You, of course, promptly accepted it.

“By the way,” he called when you two had already stepped out of the church, enveloped by the coldness of the night. There was only one solitary light pole illuminating his features, making him look like one of the saints in the chapel — nothing but fake advertisement, in your opinion. “Wanna know how much I got in that immunology test?”

“How much?” You asked.

“Eighty two.” Jungkook smiled brightly then, and you found yourself joining him. “Never saw a grade so high in my life. And that counts all the times I’ve cheated too.”

“Seems like the tutoring sessions are paying off.” You crossed your arms before your chest, the hem of your dress swirling around your knees. The night was weirdly peaceful after everything that had taken place.

“They are.” He nodded. “I’m looking forward to the next one. Helps that my tutor is kind of a hottie too.”

You scoffed. “So I’ve heard.”

“And, by the way?”

“Yeah?”

“You would look better without it.” He pointed at your dress, a sly smile already sprouting on his lips. “Hope to see it next time.”

“Good night, Jungkook.” You rolled your eyes, already turning around — yeah, like there would ever be a next time.

BAD INFLUENCE COLLECTION

TAGLIST:

@taehyungieskith @fan-ati--c @btstrasht @crazy4myself @sashimi-mochi @ft-multi @kooafraid @dianaaviny @ggukkieland @cryinginmypromdress @kissestothesky

#bts smut #jungkook smut #jungkook #bts #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook #bad boy au #smut #reader insert #bts x you #bts x reader #bad boy jungkook #bts au #jungkook au #series #pwp #fluff

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rebelcap · 3 years

Text

We are not just friends — Part 19

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she’s brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy.

This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally.

Series masterlist

Sofía had definitely closed up, she became a recluse in her own apartment and the only thing she did was go to work and back. She felt mostly okay, she wasn't crying her eyes out or seeing a random photo of Chris and crying.

She was hurt, deeply hurt but all she did was avoid thinking about him. This wasn't like the first time they broke up, this felt different. Like, this was it.

She loses one of her most precious friends and gains another failed relationship, another ex that probably will end up resenting her because they couldn't reach her and when she opens up she gets shot down.

After Chris…

Sofia was sure that she was meant to be alone and she was mostly okay with it.

On the other hand, Christopher was devastated—he honestly thought she was the one, he felt it in his gut, his heart, his whole being made him feel that she was the one. She just kept pushing him away in all the ways that she could find and he took it, until he couldn't anymore and that alone made him feel like he was failing her, he didn't know how to help her and she won't let him.

They were so far away from each other—it was exhausting and the fact that he had just started talking with Jenny again made him feel insecure about his relationship.

But he love her with all his fucking heart that it hurt his whole body knowing that she might ever be able to love him back the way he does.

"I miss him," Sofia said, putting her eyeliner on. She was going out as Amanda was very pregnant to even move.

"He does too." She said rubbing her belly. "It's been, how much time now?,"

"Four months , so he's dating Jenny. That's what I heard…" Sofia tried not to get emotional about it but… Fuck.

"Yeah, Luke told me about it… but it's going anywhere and he knows. Not sure about her though."

"He always gets back with all his exes. Got us on rotation, fucking idiot. He wants to commit but he can't actually commit with anyone. Then in the one with commitment issues," Sofia shook her head and let out a groan. "I love him, I swear to you I love him, he's a good friend but he's a terrible boyfriend."

"Right back at you," Amanda laughed and Sofia had to, because she was absolutely right about her too.

"I don't go back with all my exes, though"

"Mostly don't, Chris it's the exception."

"Because I thought it was going to be okay for once." She made a face and began putting the make up back on her little make up bag. "I can't believe he's back with Jenny, she's funny and intelligent and great—but God, I don't fucking like her." Sofia said, throwing the make-up bag on her bag and pout. "I don't want to go out now. More because I know he's here in Boston and it's not leaving until next year and I'm seeing his brother today."

"You don't wanna run into him?,"

"Of course I wanna run into him, I miss him so much but I'm totally not over him yet." Sofia explained sitting on the toilet seat looking at Amanda that was leaning in the door frame. "I don't know if I'm ever going to be over Chris."

"I'm sad now, you're make me feel sad and my boy too—

"I'm sorry—

"Don't be, I'm feeling sad because I can't go out with you and drag Chris's name all over Boston even though he's great but he left you."

Sofia smiled looking down and felt Amanda's hand running through her hair and she sighed deeply.

Sofía was vibing or at least trying, the place was comfy and she knew almost all the people that were there—witch where all of fucking Christopher closest friends and some random girls that the guys bring from somewhere.

Apparently he wasn't coming, which Sofia didn't know if she was actually relieved or not.

"Jesus fucking christ." She murmured to herself tried of her own fucking mind noise. She stood up and walked to the little bar area and started pouring a drink, straight whiskey and downed it all and poured herself a second and then a third walking away with the drink on her hand.

He saw her first, saw her leaning on a wall, talking with some dude —younger than her, brunette and with a fucking man bun, he was built, lean and tall. She laughed, at whatever fucking thing he said she laughed and looked at him with the little fucking straw on her lips. Oh, boy he was mad.

Chris rubbed his face and went about to hang up with his friends and mingle a little bit. But he couldn't stop looking at their direction every fucking second.

"They sure look cozy," Luke said and Chris looked at him. "Did you talk to her yet?"

"I can't talk to her, man." Chris muttered and downed the warm beer on his hand and his friend handed him another. "What I'm supposed to say?, hey, long time remember when I dump you because I'm a fucking imbecile and i cant fucking wait." He said dropping sarcasm on every word.

"That's a good opening," Luke laughed and Chris just stared at him, murdering eyes directed at his very own best friend.

"Who the fuck is that?" he asked referring to the guy she was talking with.

"A friend of Ryan's cousin."

Chris made a face and rolled his eyes. "The fuck he doing here?"

"It's Ryan's house, dude," Luke said and was a little amazed at Chris, he definitely hasn't seen him like this in a really long long time. "Man. .." Luke said, kind of amazed. "You're still head over heels in love with her, don't you?"

"I wonder what gave it away," Chris said, drinking his beer and rubbing his face. "imma talk to her,"

"Ah—don't think it's-uh," Luke was looking at them and saw them share a kiss, it was quick and he kinda went for it.

"What?," Chris said turning around and saw them just breaking the kiss and that's the moment Sofia saw him.

And her stomach dropped, her whole ass body dropped—

"Oh, woow. Are you okay?," Alex, asked her when her knees buckled and he caught her.

"Ah, yeah, yes. Just," She smiled at him and looked at her empty glass. "Little drunk, imma get more—" Sofia made an attempt to leave but Alex, bless his fucking kind heart, offered her to get her those drinks and something to eat.

As soon he leaves that was a cue to Chris, who literally strutted to the wall she was leaning and Slfia just… started.

"Hi," He said, hands on his pockets as Sofia kept looking at him. "How-how are you?"

Sofoa kept quiet and simply walked away from him, ahe couldn't possibly do the whole small talk bullshit they alwaus did and it emeded up al fucking badly. Chris looked at her go and he was the one that stormed after her.

"Sofia, come on," Chris said and walked besides her. "Sof, it's going to be like this?"

"I can't talk with you Chris, like…" She sighed and sat down on a bench, they weren't completely away from the people and there were some girls sitting on a couch messing around with their phones and minding their business.

"Why not?," He asked, looking at her. He just wanted to reach out and hug her, he missed her.

Sofía finally looked up at him and asked him, "How's things with Jenny?," Chris looked away and rubbed his beard and stayed quiet at her question for a moment.

"We're not together anymore," He said and Sofia made a face and sigh. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Are you seeing someone?" He asked looking at the bar where the dude was talking with Ryan, probably giving him the talk.

"Look, Sofia is off limits."

"What?, why? She told me she's single." Alex asked and looked back at where she was supposed to be and found Chris looking back at him with that death stare he did when he was annoyed.

"Yes, she is. But it's also Chris ex and they still didn't figure it out and he's my friend, so kid. Off limits,"

"Do you care,?" She asked, sassy.

"If I didn't I wouldn't be asking, wouldn't I?," He asked right back at her, also sassy.

"Last time I tried that, it didn't go well," Sofia said, rolling her eyes at him. "And the one before that, worse." She said at their obvious relationship and Chris just grunted. But couldn't blame her, it was a mess…

"Yeah," He murmured and dug into his pockets and fished out a packet of cigarettes. "want one?" He offered her and she took it.

"Thanks, we should smoke outside though." Sofia said walking out to the backyard where the other guys were doing the grilling.

They waved at them but kept their distance, not Scott though because it was Scott.

"So…" He said walking up to them and putting a hand on each shoulder. "You two are actually talking,"

"Not really," Sofia rolled her eyes and Chris grunted again.

"Sof," He said, putting those little blue eyes to work on him and it worked, of course it will work.

"Okay, okay…" She agreed and lit up the cigarette giving Chris a look. Thinking that the moment she found him unattractive was when she stopped looking at men all together and dedicated herself to pussy forever.

He was so fucking attractive, jesus fuck.

"Either way, is there a point here?," She asked looking at both of them. "We're good, I guess," She shrugged.

"Are we really good?," Chris asked.

"I don't know, you left me." Sofia took a drag and Scott made a face.

"And that's my cue to leave, I love you both." He said and Sofia laughed.

"And I do too." She wink at him and Chris was staring at her, waiting for Scott to leave.

"I shouldn't have done that—

"Chris, don't." She waves a hand at him. "You seriously need a new woman on your life, this thing about getting back with all your exes ia getting old as fuck."

"Ouch," He said and actually smile and so did she. "I do miss you, you know that."

"I miss you too, come on. We were really good friends for a moment there,"

"Yeah," He smiled and bit his bottom lip, shaking his head. "We fucked up, don't we?"

"Yeah, and I told you so."

"You did. Guess I didn't listen,"

"You never listen, stubborn Gemini man." She said punching him on the arm.

"Yeah, you're right but I don't regret it though."

"Me neither," She smiled and sigh, just thinking for a moment. "So, there's a wedding coming?"

"You mean ours?," He joked and Sofia barked a laugh.

"I mean our better halves, idiot. Besides, we will be divorced in the first four months."

"What?, come on I gave us at least… a year," Chris saif and Sofia made a face, disagreeing.

"Six months, tops." She said and put her hand on his month. "The thought of me being a wife, ew."

Chris laughed out loud. "You look pretty in white,"

"I look pretty in everything because I'm pretty," She rolled her eyes with a smile. "But, jokes aside. Do you see yourself married?"

"I like the idea of marriage but… Honestly, I don't know."

"I preferred to have a kid before marriage, it's just a fucking paper in the end. You can divorce, I think I'll know when I have a kid, if I have a kid."

"We never had this talk before," Chris said and pointed at a little bench for them to sit. "About us,"

"Did you think about it?" Sofia asked as she sat down beside him. Chris was holding his beer between his legs and looking forward.

"Yeah, I mean…" He looked at her. "I have never been this in love with someone like I am with you, so yeah. I did, a couple of times actually."

Sofia was dumbfounded at what he said, and she did toyed with the idea a couple of times…

"I almost propose to you, actually…" He laughed and Sofias head snapped so hard to look at him. "After you met my mom, I bought that ring you liked. I thought that maybe someday…" He shrugged and Sofia's eyes watered up and just stared forward.

"Chris, I…" She whispered and he looked at her.

"What's wrong?," He asked, frowning.

"What's wrong!?," She said, wiping her tears. "Dude, are you hearing what you are saying to me?."

Chris realized it at that moment, what he did. Bomb after bomb he just dropped on her.

"Sorry, I got carried away." He muttered slouching on the bench and drank the rest of his beer.

"You'll find someone, Chris…" Sofia said in a small voice.

"Already found her," He muttered and stood up and walked away.

#chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x latina!#chris evans x poc!reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans x ofc #chris evans x you #chris evans angst #Chris Evans x reader #chris evans imagine

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imagine-all-the-fandoms · 3 years

Text

A dream came true - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Requested by Anonymous: “I don't have a super specific request, just something soft with Bucky (if you feel like writing it, if not thatvs obviously totally fine)”

A/N: I really hope this is okay and you like it :) It’s my first imagine after 3 years of not writing.. but ENJOY :)

Snow. There was nothing more harmless than those innocent little ice crystals, but he connected those with the most painful memories in his live.

That’s where it all started. That’s where he became the weapon he never wanted to be. In the snow of Siberia.

Bucky sat inside the common room of the compound and watched each new snowflake fall to the ground with a sad expression on his face.

It was in the last days before the actual Christmas holidays and every room at the compound was decorated and glowed in all different colors. Tony made sure of it, that no corner is missing the spirit of the Start-Christmas-Feeling.

Bucky never had any good Christmas memories.. well he did not really remember anymore how those days were with his family and friends. The past years have not been as happy for him as well, so why should he be in the mood for all of this.

This year, it was something new.

He had built up a new little family with the other Avengers, which now welcomed him with an open heart. They finally realized after months of doubting that he did not have a chance for what he had done in the past. He deserved a ‘normal’ live. He deserved friends who cared for him and he deserved a home.

Then there also was this woman he liked, but did he have a chance that she would like him back? Those thoughts often kept him awake at night and he wished to just find an answer to this.

Steve watched him from his place at the kitchen. He knew about the struggles his best friend hat. Yet he tried his best to help him and leave his old self behind.

“How many?”, he asked with a smile on his face.

“Wha-?, Bucky turned around, startled from the sudden interruption of the room’s silence.

“How many flakes did you count?”, he chuckled. “Seemed like you were sitting there for a while.”

Bucky’s lips formed a shy smile. “Well I guess too many to get finished with it today”.

The friends then chatted for a while about everything. Missions, live at the compound, the plans each member had for Christmas Eve..

That was until a loud thud made them stop their conversations and sprinted up to where the noise was coming from.

“Jesus Christ, what are you doing there?”, Steve asked as he saw their teammate (Y/N) on the ground.

“Oh well I don’t know Rogers! I just wanted to explore the stairs when they decided to kick me down”, you snapped at him before accepting his hand to get back up on your feet.

“Are you ok?”, Bucky asked her.

“Yea I guess some bruises but I’ll be fine. The stairs seem fine as well”, you chuckled and looked back up at where she was coming from.

“You sure? We can have you checked up and make sure that-“

“Buck I’m fine.”, you interrupted his rant and gave him a warming smile. “But if you really want to make sure, you can invite me for a hot chocolate?”

“Would be my pleasure”, he smiled.

“Well alright, as I’m obviously not wanted here anymore..”, Steve pouted and threw his arms in the air.

“Come on Cap, you’re invited too”, you nudged him.

“No thanks (Y/N), it’s training time with Wilson anyways.”, he said and made his way towards the door.

“So only we both then”, you smiled and went to the kitchen to get 2 cups for her and Bucky.

Oh how he wished he could finally have the courage to tell her how much he liked her. He felt comfortable around her immediately after he moved in and she never gave him the feeling to be different than the others. She accepted him just as the person he is, and not as the monster he felt like he was.

Bucky then went to the fridge to grab the milk, while you looked for the chocolate powder but couldn’t fine some.

“Well”, you started. “Looks like the powder is empty.. so no chocolate for us”

A pout started to form on your lips which made Bucky’s heart flutter.

“Who needs powder when you have the best hot-chocolate-maker out of the 40s standing right in front of you”, he smirked and an idea formed in his head.

“Just sit down at the couch, I’ll be right there.”, he instructed, and you obeyed, still wondering what his plan was.

Bucky remembered the time with his grandma. She often made hot chocolate in her own way, which was absolutely magical. So he hoped it would work as well when he tried.

Only about 10 minutes later, the kitchen and the living room were filled with the most delicious smell you ever smelled. It was like you were in the middle of Charlie’s Chocolate Factory and you loved it.

Then you spotted the well built super soldier on the way towards the couch you were sitting on, with the cups of steaming chocolate and (of course) a little bit of whipped cream on top of it.

“Wow, this looks great.. and the smell”, you purred and reached out for you cup eagerly.

“Wait till you get a taste”, he winked.

“Oh well I wouldn’t bother Barnes”, you chuckled and then he noticed that his sentences could have gotten in another direction as well.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to .. that.”, he started to stutter, which was absolutely adorable, due to his muscular body and his voice getting like a little boy. Which made your heart flutter again, like it always did when he was around you.

“Buck, calm down”, you laughed and made space for him on the couch. “Come here”

You patted the spot next to you and he sat down, still a shade of red on his stubbled cheeks. You took a sip at the drink he made. It was the best hot chocolate you ever drank and Bucky seemed very happy you liked it.

“So, I guess you’re now my personal hot chocolate producer”, you chuckled after you emptied your cup, faster than you wanted, but you just couldn’t stop.

“Okay, I think I can deal with that, doll”, he smiled proudly.

Doll. You loved when he called you like that. You wished that you’d be the only one he called like that.

A man like him, broad shoulders, a well built form, a heart of gold (even if he didn’t notice this himself), his long hair smoothed behind his ears and those eyes. Those blue eyes which seemed to look straight into your soul. How you just wanted to call him all yours.. but a man like him could never fall for a girl like you. That’s what your mind told you all the time.

“What are you thinking about?”, his deep voice brought you back from your thoughts.

“Uhm..”, you started. “Well maybe about what movie we could watch today?”

“You want to watch a movie with me?”, he asked.

“Sure, it’s Christmas and as I have no other plans.. or do you need to go anywhere? Then of course you don’t need to watch a movie with me..”

“(Y/N), of course I’d like to watch a movie with you. Would be my pleasure to spend this Christmas day with you”, he smiled and you felt another wave of butterflies fly around your stomach.

“That’s great”, you grinned. “So, you pick some snacks, and I’ll chose a movie”

“As you wish Ma’am”, he saluted and went to find some chocolate bars, cookies and some other snacks.

Your choice fell on ‘The Christmas Chronicles” on Netflix and Bucky seemed to be satisfied with this decision.

The movie started and you both got comfortable on the couch. Bucky looked around for some blankets, but could only find one. He wanted to put it over your legs but you insisted on sharing it with him.

“You know I’m not freezing at all”, he chuckled.

“But you can pretend to.”, you said as you threw the blanket over him as well and he gave up. Arguing with you was never easy and to be honest, he enjoyed the attention you were giving him and he enjoyed being close to you.

As the movie went on, you both were enjoying your time together, feeding each other with the cookies, laughing at some funny scenes on the screen and you both wished to stay like this forever. Then Bucky shifted on the couch, making him lay down, and you falling to lay in front of him. You were startled first, but as he wrapped his arms around you from behind, you got comfortable in his arms and felt the heat radiating from his body. You didn’t say anything. This moment felt just .. right.

Unfortunately the movie finished way too early and you feared you would have to get up. But Bucky didn’t move an inch. Not sure what to do, you turned around in his arms, facing him. Just to find him staring down at you with a heart-warming smile.

“Thank you.”, Buck whispered.

“For what?”

“For making this the best Christmas I’ve had in 90 years”

You felt the warming feeling in your body come back and as you were about to say something, he put a strand of hair behind your ear, cupped your face in his large hand and leaned down. His lips touched yours in a loving kiss and you immediately kissed him back.

You wanted this since the day he moved into the compound but never thought this would actually happen. And here you were, wrapped in his arms, kissing his smooth lips.

Neither of you wanted to stop, but eventually you both needed air.

He looked down at you with the most loving look you had ever seen. Your lips slightly swollen and your cheeks kept a light shade of red. He swore you were the most beautiful woman he ever met. And he wanted you to be his.

“You cannot imagine how many times I dreamed about this”, he whispered while you ran a hand lightly through his brown hair.

“Me too”, you smiled and that was all he needed to press you even further into his body and kiss you again.

You both didn’t get up from the position you were in. You stayed like that the rest of the day, kissing and cuddling each other until you feel asleep in his arms.

Bucky finally felt peace in his heart, having the friends and family he always wanted around him, and the woman he loved with all of his heart sleeping peacefully in his arms.

#bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes imagine #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #winter soldier imagine #winter soldier imagines #fandom imagine #captain america imagine #sebastian stan imagine #imagine blog

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glassartpeasants · 3 years

Text

Late Nights

Frankie x GN!Reader

Warnings: Angst,

A/N: I managed to pop this one out first cause idk. But here you guy bro @writingfromthetomb sorry if it’s short im rusty. It sucks but oop. Isaac’s and Will’s I’ll try to pop out this week

~~~

As much as you loved Frankie, being in a relationship with the undead man was a terrible challenge. Work always consumed his schedule. It felt like he never had anytime for you. He would always be consumed in his work to even notice your presence. Always talking about how you were annoying him and to leave him be so he could work.

It hurt. You would always make him dinner, which he promptly took a plate before hiding in his room to try and learn more about his target. Not a thank you to be heard. No words exchanged between you two. He said that bounty hunting was a full time job. He was very good at it, which caused him to get more money as he went on. It slowly caused him to be money hungry over the years. He’s a workaholic to the highest degree. It hurts when you try to show him affection, but he pushes you away and calls you clingy.

Wanting a small bit of affection was not clingy. You just wanted to spend time with him. Maybe if you ignored him, he would come to you? Now even yo knew that was impossible. Your heart would never allow that. You love him too much so it’s always a struggle. So here you are, at two in the morning, laying in the bed with your boyfriend by your side. The night is the only time where you would actually be able to feel the comfort of his arms.

It was a time you never took for granted. You were forever grateful for every second that you felt the comfort of his arms. His head would be in between your head and shoulder while his arms were wrapped against your waist. You would intangle your fingers with his and smile stretched across your tired face. You dreaded the morning, knowing that this time with him never lasts long.

“At least I get this time with you. It may not be long but I’ll take it.” You turn your face a bit before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“If only you could accept the love i have to give you.” Your hand moved towards his hair. Your fingers sliding through his soft locks as you slowly massaged his scalp. A soft sigh left Frankie’s lips as his arms tighten around your form and digs his head deeper into your neck. The small action caused your lip to tremble as a few tears slip from your eyes and roll down your cheeks. You close your eyes only for you to be met with the sun shining in your eyes and Frankies side of the bed cold and empty.

“God damnit. HE doesn’t even wait for me to wake up? Why am I even surprised anymore?” Frustration bubbled inside you as your legs move tot he side of the bed, lifting your self up to feel the feeling of the carpet between your toes.

You get changed and head into the living room/kitchen before noticing a note on the kitchen fridge.

Got a big job today, won’t be back till 8pm promise.

-Frankie

Last time he said he promised he broke it when he said he’d be home at 2pm only to arrive at one in the morning. Rightfully so you were furious. You were worried sick about him and all he said was a half assed sorry. It caused a major fight that surely one of the neighbors heard. It wasn’t pretty. It made your spend the night at your friends for a few days. You had gotten a call from Will on the 3rd day, saying that Frankie was more of an asshole than usual and to come back. You gave Will your number since you were friends with him.

It it weren’t for Will, you probably would have broken up with Frankie that day.

It felt like everything was coming back to start all over again. Tears of frustration rolled down your cheeks. Grabbing a couch cushion you throw it to your face before screaming into it.

“Fucking Frankie. I swear if you don’t keep your promise this time it’s over.”

And so the countdown started.

~~~

3pm

...

4pm

...

6pm

...

7:45pm

...

8pm

...

~~~

You sat on the couch watching the door with your phone in your hand, watching the clock count down. SpongeBob playing on the tv while your knuckles turn white before going back to it’s normal color after calming yourself down. He’s probably only a few minutes late right?

~~~

9pm: Everyone can be a little late

10pm: Traffic did seem bad today

11pm:....

~~~

You finally fell asleep at the late hours of 12am. Staying up late waiting for him to return all those times are finally catching up to you.

The sound of the door unlocking woke you up. Your eyes flutter open as you see your boyfriend coming in. You turn on your phone to see the time and as soon as the cock turned on screen you body was filled with rage and you only saw red

3am

“Are you fucking kidding me Frankie?! WTF?! It’s 3am! Not 8pm@ WHere gave you been?!”

“Lost track of time. Im back at least aren’t I?” His lack of reaction only fueled your rage.

“I was worried sick about you! You broke your promise again! Listen Frankie, I don’t know if i can take this anymore! Im always worried about you! You come home at ungodly hours of the night and then act like nothing had happened! Can you not understand how I feel?”

“Jesus christ! I always come home don’t I? You need to stop being so clingy!”

“Cling? Clingy?! CLINGY?! It’s clingy to worry about my boyfriend?! It’s clingy to just want to spend time with you?! The only time i spend with you is when we’re sleeping! That the only time i feel like you actually love me!” Tears blur your vision as Frankie’s face became blurry.

“Go to the bed. Im sleeping on the couch tonight.”

“Fine.” Frankie stomps to his room before slamming the door closed. It was when you let out a sigh, that you knew it was time to let go.

#frankie x reader #frankie the undead #creeps #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader

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sometimesiwritebadly · 4 years

Text

The One Where The Doctor Meets You (Ninth Doctor x Reader)

Summary: After saving London from the Autons, the Doctor is surprised when the TARDIS takes control and brings him to meet an old/new friend.

Warnings: None, I think. Unless you don’t like butterflies or butterfly-like creatures.

Notes: it’s the disappearing for months and then coming back with a part two that’s been finished in google docs for weeks, for me. (seriously though, sorry i disappeared for so long. i will post more often, i swear)

Word Count: 2.3k

The One Where You Meet The Doctor

Masterlist

The Doctor closed the doors to the TARDIS, watching with a sad smile as Rose stood on the other side. He’d liked her; despite everything he’s been through, he liked having a friend with him on his adventures again. But Rose had a life, and she’d chosen to stay. That’s fine, she’ll be safer that way. Live a short but happy life with Mickey and her mom. And he’ll continue getting himself into trouble, and doing his best to help people.

The Doctor moved towards the TARDIS console, and began piloting her to a new place. “Where should we go next? 18th century? 39th? How about the 52nd, we haven’t been there in a while…” As he began to pilot the ship, pulling at the controls he knows so well, the TARDIS seemed to disagree. She whirred in disapproval, then seemed to take the wheel herself, despite the Doctor’s movements. “Where are you taking me now?” The Doctor was confused, as he’d never seen the TARDIS act this way, but hey, she usually knows what’s best. So he followed her lead, and flew the TARDIS to where she’d wanted him to go. Eventually, the TARDIS’ wheezing stopped and they landed in the early 21st century, still on Earth. Curious and excited, the Doctor ran to the TARDIS doors and opened them, only to find himself standing on a seemingly normal street in the suburbs. He guessed it was the late 2020s, give or take a few years. Before he could get a better guess of where the TARDIS had taken him, a voice calling his name distracted him.

“Doctor? What’re you doing out here?” He turned to see a girl he’d never met before. She clearly knew him, as she pulled him into a hug, despite his arms being crossed over his body. “Must be early days for you, because I clearly remember telling you that you should park her in my living room.” The girl said as she pulled away from the hug. She ignored the confused look on his face and instead made her way into his TARDIS.

“What do you mean early days?” He asked. That’s probably not the first question he should’ve asked, but it was the one that intrigued him the most. He entered the TARDIS after her, closing the doors, and watched as she easily began flying her. “And who do you think you are to fly my TARDIS? How do you even know how to do that?” As he finished speaking, the TARDIS landed with an impressive lack of violent shaking.

The girl lightly laughed in response, before making her way out of the TARDIS into what the Doctor could only assume to be her living room. “Doctor c’mon, you know I can’t tell you how I know how to fly her. Spoilers, remember?” She paused for a moment once she was outside, waiting for the Doctor to follow her out. Once he did, reluctantly, She made her way into her kitchen, and she started grabbing things from various cupboards. “By the way, where’s Rose? I’ve never seen you with this face without her.”

“Rose? What - Who are you?” The girl finally stopped her actions, from the look of it, she was going to make a pot of tea, and looked up at the Doctor with wide eyes.

“Are you serious?” She said, just above a whisper. When the Doctor didn’t answer, she took a deep breath and looked away, collecting herself. The Doctor could’ve sworn she mumbled something under her breath as she did so, but when she looked up, a smile had been slapped onto her face. “Uh- sorry. I kinda forgot this would happen eventually. I’m Y/N. We’re, uh, friends. Or we will be one day.” At this point, she’d abandoned the tea all together, and made her way back over to the Doctor. She held a hand out for him to shake. “You see, we’re always meeting in the wrong order. That’s why I know you and you don’t know me.” The Doctor held out his hand as well, allowing her to shake it. He didn’t know what to think; on one hand, it’s amazing, but on the other, he thinks he should run for the hills. Knowing your own future is a dangerous game to play, and he doesn’t want anything to do with it.

“I should probably go then. I wouldn’t want to mess up the future.” He said, turning around and heading back into the TARDIS.

“What? No!” Y/N followed him in, closing the door behind her. “You’re not messing with the future by being with me!” She argued.

“Of course I am! You’ll end up telling me something about my future, and then it’ll be solidified. Unavoidable. A Fix-”

“I know how the future works, Doc. You’ve explained it to me hundreds of times.”

“See! Now I’ll have to explain it to you over and over, because you just told me that I did.”

“No, you explain it to me over and over because you like being the smartest person in the room.” The Doctor scoffed at her comment. Whoever this girl is to him, she’s not making the best first impression. “Scoff all you want, you know I’m right. That’s why you’re mad at me right now, because for the first time in forever you’re in a room with someone who knows more than you.” She leaned against the console towards him, a smirk on her face. The Doctor would never admit it, but she’s not entirely wrong.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” This only made Y/N laugh. He almost started laughing along with her when the TARDIS suddenly began moving. “What’re you doing?”

“I’m not doing anything!”

“Well it’s not like she’s flying herself! You must’ve done something!”

“I flew her perfectly! If anyone did something to cause this, it’s the idiot that stole her but never bothered to read-” The TARDIS suddenly and violently landed, causing Y/N to lose her grip and land on the ground. They both stayed silent for a moment, before Y/N quietly spoke, “Do you have any idea where we are?”

“Nope.”

They looked at eachother, and almost simultaneously, smiles grew on their faces. The pair walked over to the door. The Doctor opened it, peaked his head out, and once he deemed it safe, opened the door wider so that Y/N could walk past.

“Where the hell are we?” You asked, taking in the view. You’d landed on an alien planet, that much was obvious- the multi-colored grass and two moons rising in the distance made it so even an idiot could figure that out- but neither you nor The Doctor had been to a planet like it before.

“I haven’t the faintest idea.” The Doctor answered you with a grin slapped on his face. Even though he didn’t know this girl, and all logic said he should stay the hell away, something about her felt right. Especially when you returned his grin with just as much enthusiasm.

“Fantastic. I love a good mystery.” And with that, you picked a direction and began walking, leaving The Doctor, dumbfounded, to follow you. “Come along, Doc, we don’t have all day!” The Doctor only scoffed, but followed the mystery girl anyways.

“So what did you mean by us meeting in the wrong order?” The Doctor questioned, trying to figure you out. “Why don’t I just visit you linearly? After all, I’ve got a time machine.”

“Oh, you tried. The TARDIS won’t let you. Whenever you visit me, she won’t let you land where you want. She never seems to have a problem getting me home to the right time though.” You explained, marching through the tall rainbow grass. “Except for once, we accidentally landed at; well, spoilers. But it all works out in the end, always does. She probably brought us here for a reason too.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Sure, sometimes the TARDIS influences my travels a little bit-” You interrupted him with a scoff, which The Doctor happily ignored- “But she doesn’t just fly herself. Not without help from me. Something else must have brought us here.”

“Oh, so you think a random, seemingly uninhabited planet was able to hijack the TARDIS?” The Doctor would never admit it, but you did have a point. They’d been walking for a while, and so far there were no signs of any civilization. Certainly nothing with the kind of technology to hijack a TARDIS.

“No, I think you don’t know how to fly her properly and you did something to make her bring us here.” He lied. He’d watched her flying, and even he had to accept that she knew what she was doing. But he wasn’t about to tell her that.

“Oh, please-” You cut yourself off, distracted by something happening behind The Doctor. When he turned around, his breath was taken away by the sight. As they had been talking, the sun had begun to set and the moons of the unknown planet began to rise higher. Around them, a flurry of insects had begun flying around. They looked like butterflies, only bigger. Their wings had a faint glow to them, and it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Y/N moved next to him, taking in the sight for herself. Soon enough, The Doctor found himself looking at her rather than the insects. One of them landed on her arm, and she turned to look at The Doctor with a wide grin. Just as The Doctor returned it, however, your grin morphed into a look of pain.

“Jesus Christ!” You swatted the bug off of your arm, where it had left a quickly swelling bite.

“Back to the TARDIS!” The Doctor yelled, grabbing your hand and dragging you back. Now that you’d brought attention to yourselves, the insect swarm seemed to be flying after you.

“What are the odds of these things being poisonous?” You asked as you ran, the TARDIS coming closer and closer.

“I don’t know, but you shouldn’t be worried about them being poisonous.” He answered.

“Why not?”

“Cause you didn’t eat one. You should be worried about them being venomous.” He corrected, despite the dire situation.

“Doc!”

~~~

Turns out, those insects, which The Doctor had identified as Derruliflies from the planet Taurillia once you two had made it back to the TARDIS, weren’t any more dangerous than a mosquito. Besides the initially painful bite and the inflammation, you’d be fine. That didn’t stop you from complaining though.

“I can’t believe the TARDIS brought us to that dreadful planet!” You’d been complaining for a half hour now, as The Doctor tried to bring the swelling on your arm down. Despite the fact that the venom wouldn’t harm you much, Your arm ended up extremely swollen, and The Doctor couldn’t very well drop you off on earth without knowing how long the swelling would take to go away or if there would be any other side effects. So now he was doing his best to remove the venom, despite your complaints. “I mean seriously! What was she thinking? You know, I bet she knew those creatures would bite me. I think this is payback for when I was learning how to fly her.”

“What’d you do when you were learning how to fly her?” The Doctor asked, still focused on your now slightly less swollen arm.

“Let’s just say it took me a minute to figure it out.” You said, with a slight grimace. “My teacher was very patient with me, though, so I got there in the end.”

“You’re welcome in advance, then.” The Doctor assumed he’d been the one to teach her in the future, after all, no one else knows how to fly a TARDIS anymore, but your laughter proved that was not the case.

“Please! Riv-um, my teacher had to kick you out because you kept trying to be a backseat driver. You were worse than my dad when he was teaching me to drive a car.” You joked. “And you and I both know you’re hardly qualified to teach someone how to fly a TARDIS, considering you can barely fly her yourself.”

“That’s not true! I’m an excellent driver!”

“You didn’t even pass your exams!” The Doctor only rolled his eyes in response, causing you to laugh even more.

“Whatever. Your arm is all fixed, by the way. You’re welcome.” He said, dropping your arm from his hands. He’d managed to remove the venom, which had caused the swelling and itching to go away rather rapidly. “You may have some residual itching for a few hours, but you’ll be back to normal in a jiff.”

“Thank you.” You said, genuinely, causing The Doctor to meet your eyes. “Really, you didn’t have to do that.”

“Course I did. I’m a Doctor, and you’re my friend.” He paused, “Or, you will be, I guess.”

“C’mon Doc, you and I both know I’m already your friend.”

~~~

When The Doctor brought you home- you were right, the TARDIS was more than happy to drop you off in the right time- he didn’t really want to say goodbye. He wanted to get to know you more, take you with him.

“You sure you wanna go?” He asked, just before you could open the doors back to your life. Your eyebrows shot up, surprised he had asked. Surely he’d asked you to join him before, right? “I mean, I can drop you off here anytime. Why not stay a while?” You gave him a soft smile, before coming over and doing something unexpected; you kissed his cheek.

“Time machine.”

“What?”

You were backing up towards the doors, still with that knowing smile on your face. “Rose. You forgot to tell her that it’s a time machine.” And with that, you turned around, walking out of The TARDIS. Even though he knew he’d see you many more times in the future, The Doctor was still sad to see you go.

~~~

#the doctor x reader #the doctor x you #the doctor x y/n #doctor who #ninth doctor x reader #ninth doctor #doctor who fic #doctor who series #the tardis

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lawrising-a · 3 years

Text

( continued from here! // @pseudoneiric )

there's a sore sensation nestling against the sensitive skin of his wrist -- not rubbed raw, exactly, considering his tie is too silky to achieve such a feat ( and he, desperately, tried to move as little as possible ) but it still stings. a chiding reminder of what he allowed to happen not even minutes ago. yellow wrapped around him, completely bound and helpless ... it was something he can't say he's done before, not like that. he thinks the correct term would be bondage, but was it? gloved hands sinking beneath layers of flesh to expose the fluttering organs beneath, and expose her own in turn. call him crazy, but that's not what he thought bondage was about. but when was anything with lilian it's textbook definition? he can't blame anyone for his display of vulnerability except himself, completely ensnared with the girl the moment they crossed paths. there were times he watered down his attraction, for both their sakes, blaming her allure for his enchantment. yet lies come clean eventually and here he now perches. the edge of his mused bed, chest rising and falling more then it should as he burns with the black markings drifted upon his ivory skin. lipstick marks painting him in a light he's not used to. he's been stripped of all his warm tones and fake boy scout personas ; left in cool colors. green pants and black marks.

‘and what are you ... the sun?’ whispered a voice earlier, like every hushed word was a secret reserved between the two of them. mat rolls his shoulders, because he doesn't feel that way anymore. never has, honestly. he wants to be beaming lights with a killer gravitational pull, but he ... isn't. the colors on him now is a striking reminder of that : yet he replays lilian's maddening words and fools himself briefly. it's okay to believe lies when she's the one feeding them! as long as she believes it, why can't he humor it? everything she said had been a warped view, a funhouse mirror at those shifty carnivals -- but it was raw honesty from lilian, and he can't turn away the swell of attention. even if he should, even if mat should waltz into the bathroom where she's currently shrouding herself away and spill out the truth. let her know he isn't some angelic force but rather a mockery of one. how matthew naively hopes he can be hers regardless of his lack of good ... it's dizzying, causing his vision to blur, because it's been a while since he's confronted this about himself. the student doesn't like it. but oh, he loves her -- a burning sensation that lights his veins aflame and races his heart.

distractingly, he presses the pad of his rough thumb against the mark on the corner of his lips. a replica of a kiss she once bestowed upon him like salvation itself ( hm, what's with the spur of religious imagery today? hah ). trying to prod away the disappointment that rises every time he feels the wishful want of her actual lips there instead. she has to -- she has to feel something for him at this point, right? that can't be an assumption anymore, can it? questions whirl around as his fingers ghost down his ruined skin, tracing over the words left with his own hands like confirmation. like he's silently saying 'yes, property of lilian eyler.' like he's finally allowing himself a love he thought he wouldn't ever have when he traces, ‘mine. mine. mine-’ that ends with him working his way back up, away from the bulge of his stomach and trembling arms -- away from 'poetry, life, religion' and back to his lips. where he's reminded, with a fuzzy feeling balling up in his chest, 'mine.' almost pushing hard enough to slip a finger through his pink lips, plush and ready for ... mat isn't sure. he just wants her to kiss him there. though he knows she won't, least not today. and even if there's this sickening greed that controls him with a talent, he lets her have that. lets her take all her time in the bathroom and tries not to beg for more. how did she elegantly put in, in all her poetic prose that he's seen briefly in the club? a loyal dog? just for you now, only ever for you, lili--

a shiver rocks his form, startling his hands to the edge of the bed to tear into as he digs his heels into the carpet ( like he once had in the bed, to ground himself, to not buck ). was his pulse racing with the life she declared to adore so much? the man sinks canines into his cheek to hold back from beckoning her out to check. no, no ; he said he'd leave her be. it's a good thing for them both right now. if she had stayed and let the fabric obscuring his view fall from his eyes, he would've reached for her. try to pull them close and he'd ramble like a mad man ... wouldn't he have scared her? some part of him thinks he still has. which wobbles his posture in order to keep his head bowed, like awaiting punishment. almost waiting for pain building in his scalp, because surely she'd card her delicate laced fingers through his hair with a bit more force if she came back out. or was that his gentle throb of arousal wanting that? she got him worked up so easily ; ah, well, at least it's a good exercise for his thinning self control ...

a sigh, shaky and human, whistles out of parted lips. dry due to the fact he can't lick them thanks to the lipstick, though he can't help but wonder if he did -- would he be licking lilian's lips that way? the material touched them ... realizing how wild he is, a thoroughly teased animal, matthew laughs nervously. jesus christ, there's parts of him strewn all around his bedroom, because there's no way mat is fully put together. his brain feels like soupy liquid dripping from his ears and hissing into his scarlet skin. a puzzle of a man that lilian expertly took apart and left half completed. no matter how hard he tries to reel himself in, chase away all the sweetened morbidness delivered, he can't find all the pieces. surely, the clever girl took some with her to the bathroom. she was ... possessive. mat learned that just now. possessive over him, envious of basic things that matthew almost couldn't believe. she'll never know how comforting it was to see. a feeling now nestled happily within because nobody's been possessive of him before! she mustn't of gotten the memo from former friends, didn't hear how expendable he was to everyone who's known him. people don't get jealous for matthew, they don't care how much he sleeps, they don't care if he isolates away -- and they certainly don't care if his eyes linger on a girl with purple hair.

because who would find him special? he's an emotional wreck everyone stays weary of, a boy to eye with skepticism. his jealousy, his rawness, his obsessive love and need is wrong and ugly. you're shunned for those things by society. to the world, mat is anything but special, he's wrong ; so wrong and he's relentlessly tried to change that. but lilian ... she thinks otherwise. feels like he feels. sensitive and lovesick. and while he's always tried to hide before, if the girl with inky hair thinks it's beautiful and radiant ... everyone else must be wrong, because lilian eyler never is! as clever as the devil and twice as pretty, so the saying goes. with a rueful smile, too boyish and gentle for his own sharp face, he thinks it's an accurate fit for his favorite person ever. his throbbing molten core of earth, the darkened reflective surface of his beloved moon.

“im excited about lunch tomorrow, you know?” calls mat, voice as rough as ever ; like he uses it too much. but during this whole date, he fears he hasn't used it enough. “i haven't eaten with another person in a while. i usually just grab an apple and loiter around the library.” did you think i ate with yuri? though the fawn haired male doesn't ask, he quickly kills that assumption if it festered in lilian's mind. “if it goes well, we could ... ah, why don't we eat together from then on? maybe everyday? maybe forever! i think it'd be ... nice.”

the last part is so quiet he's not sure she hears it, but maybe she hears it die off. senses his shyness that bares him like it's her own. matthew doesn't want to dwell in it, so he tries to push forward. telling himself to keep tearing down the walls until there's nothing left ( the bathroom walls or his own? ). she deserves to hear more then his sputters from their little session, brought on by gutting arousal and his own jittery sparks : she deserves the world on an obsidian platter. to know he does want to be owned by her, to understand he'd be so comfortable displaying that label for all to see. and for lilian to be told, sternly, that he'd choose her out of a line up with certainty most would be scared of. love isn't half way for him, ever, and lilian needs to know that. even if his heart thunders and he wants to hear more of her disarming voice instead.

“and i want to be yours ; your idea with the whole 'blindly leading me around' wasn't half bad!” heartfelt chuckling makes him feel like he's vibrating out of his skin, her skin now, isn't it? “i'd let you blind me, i'd let you led me even if i was deaf and mute. you could be all my senses, because maybe then i'd trust them more. you don't know how much i wish these words on me were permanent, lilian --” mat twists his mouth, ruins his hair more. “darling, you just ... i've tried so hard to be normal this year, more then any other, yet you make me so helpless! it's ... how do you do that? do you know how special you are, how beautiful? perfect ... well, perhaps not that ; because you're stupid for worrying about not owning me. isn't it obvious you already do? were these reminders for me, or wishes for you?"

( eyes flutter to words he can barely read on his bared parts, words overlapping due to frenzy. all true. all true )

with a tightening throat, emotions rising like waves and god he could just drown, matthew lays back on the mattress. meekly pulling the tie out from under him, only to drag it over his used wrists. picturing only her. wondering if this sight would entice her to keep going when she comes out. and he wants to say lilian, you've won! congratulations on having a lover for life! or, something like : yuri couldn't pry me from your cold dead fingers! but what stumbles out is something foolish that he immediately grimaces over. hopefully she's too shaken to judge him too much.

“i think you're my soulmate, lilian. i .. really do.” so why would i ever let you go? or deem you unworthy? it's me, im unworthy. not you, never never -- his lashes tickle his skin when he shuts his eyes. breath hitching before evening out. reminding himself to calm down because matthew thinks he'll actually explode otherwise. a bundle of nerves, of her love, is all he really is.

#» death risen ( thread. )#lilian♡matty » i understand what love never could . i forgive what love never would ( pseudoneiric )#v.ddlc ★ and the boy who loves you the wrong way keeps weakening #pseudoneiric #tw suggestive #( okay so. i think this pales in comparison to your amazing answered ask. like pales so hard )#( but i hope this was a delight to read regardless !! )#( thought it was time to reply to this. a lil warm up gift for lilian's bday <3 )#( have some matty being lovestruck and a bpdcore mess for an entire response! )#( and oh! hope its alright lilian was like. in the bathroom. she seemed shaken from being so open that i thought she'd need a breather )#( if thats dumb im sorry </3 )#( ANYWAY hope this was good ik i said i wouldnt write but i lied. its lilian day )

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demonwifey · 4 years

Note

S/O accidentally brings up something in an argument that Beetlejuice was really sensitive about and he CRIES. S/O goes to comfort him but he is having NONE OF IT until a grand gesture of S/O’s love for him comes into play. I don’t know if your doing asks sorry if your not

This ask took me to hell and back and I enjoyed every second of it. And yes I’m still doing asks! Hope you guys enjoy! 💚💜🖤

Warnings: Cursing, arguing

Word Count: 4,494

It was a stupid argument. Something that shouldn’t have been made that serious. Yet, here you were. Having just ended a screaming match with your dead boyfriend. You both were standing directly across from each other with the coffee table being the only thing separating you. Right now your main concern were the words you yelled at Beetlejuice.

You didn’t mean to say it. It just came out. It was an accident. You didn’t even mean it. You just stood there, shocked at your own actions. Your eyes were wide and your mouth slammed shut. Beetlejuice’s expression was basically the same as he stood entirely still.

You weren’t exactly sure what the next move was. Who was going to speak first? Was there about to be more yelling? Was Beej about to flip out? Were YOU about to flip out more? All these questions raced through your head. After another moment of silence, you noticed Beej’s facial expression begin to change. His face switched from utter shock to complete sorrow instantly. But your heart dropped to the floor when you noticed his hair color. While you two were arguing it stayed at a deep burning red color. Now in a matter of two seconds it abruptly switched to a darkened blue.

Following him, your expression changed as well. Beetlejuice’s hair was always a raw representation of how he felt. Even if he didn’t show it in his face, you’d see it through his hair. And over the years you two had been together, you learned to differentiate through the separate colors.

The demon man finally looked down at the floor while you were lost in your thoughts. Obviously now would be the best time to apologize before anything else horrible was said. You moved to walk around the coffee table. Once you were in arms length, you reached your hand up to try and touch his shoulder.

“Beej, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-” But before you could finish, his own hand grabbed your wrist and held it tightly. You stopped in your tracks, the feeling of shock yet again overflowing your senses.

“Bullshit.” The demon mumbled so quietly you could barely hear him. You tried to pull your wrist from his grip but it didn’t work.

“Beej, really. I know that was fucked up but it just came out wrong.” Was all you got out before moving your other hand to touch his cheek. In a repeated motion, Beetlejuice’s other hand grabbed your second wrist. This time, he moved his face quickly to look at you and that’s when your heart shattered into pieces.

Tears. Tears that welled in his eyes and fell down his cheeks. You did this to him. You made him cry. All because you couldn’t hold in your emotions. All because you had a habit of speaking before thinking when angry. This was all you. Seeing his tears made you want to shed your own. You never meant for it to get this far. And the last thing you’d ever want to do was bring the love of your life to tears. You decided to speak again. Maybe you could make this all better.

“Oh, Beej...baby. It’s okay.” You tried to remove your wrists again but his grip only got tighter. You could already feel the bruises forming on the area.

“No, it’s not fucking okay, Y/N. You-you know I’ve always thought about that. A-and now you’re gonna throw it in my face?!” All while ranting, you could see strands of red flash back into the man’s hair. Behind his glossy tears, you could see his eyes glowing brighter than they ever have. You were starting to get scared. You know Beetlejuice would never hurt you, but you just said the worst of the worst. If he was going to do something, you probably deserved it.

“You think I would ever say something like that about you? Is that how you’ve felt this entire time?” The demon’s tears grew heavier and heavier and his voice got louder and louder. He stepped forward, which made you step back. Unable to move away with the death grips he still had on your wrists.

“No, Beetlejuice. I would never think that. J-just listen, ow-” His hands were almost crushing your wrist at this point. You could feel a lack of circulation starting to hit. “Beej, you’re hurting me.”

The demon stopped walking. The growing anger on his face switched to worry. The raging blue and red in his hair quickly faded back to just blue. Your boyfriend brought his hands up between you two and unwrapped them from your wrists slowly. You both gasped at the sight. Your wrists had marks shaped like his fingers grooved into the skin. The marks were already starting to turn red as well. You knew you had to catch Beetlejuice before he would freak out.

“Hey, hey. It’s fine. No big deal. They’ll be gone by tomorrow. Beej, let’s just sit down and tal-”

“No! I’m done talking.” The demon interrupted you one final time for the night. Beetlejuice’s face was puffy and soaked with tears. The sight made you want to grab him and just hold him forever, even after his tears were gone. “Y/N, you said some fucked up shit and now I just...”. He couldn't stop looking at your wrists.

“I’ll just go.” His words hit you like a ton of bricks. Go? But you didn’t want him to go. You wanted him to stay so the two of you could talk. So that you could deeply apologize and hold him all night. You shook your head.

“No. No, Beetlejuice. You can’t leave. I’m sorry. Please, I can make this better.” You launched your hands up to his cheeks. Ignoring the lingering pain from your bruises, you wiped some of his tears away with your thumbs. You finally felt your own tears approach as you tried to reason with him. “B, please don’t leave.”

Beetlejuice’s eyes looked down at you. Even though they were filled with a glowing golden color, you saw no expression in them. You glanced up to see his hair was a mixture of deep blue, purple, and black.

“Baby, please listen to me. I’m sorry. It was stupid and-and I shouldn’t have said it. You’re the most important person in my life right now. I would never want to hurt you. It was a major fuck up. But please, Beetlejuice, just don’t leave. I’m sorry. You know I am.” Your voice was shaky as you babbled and finally your tears started to fall. You already knew Beetlejuice made up his mind. He was going to leave, but still wanted to try and stop him. Reason with him in any way you could. If it took begging, that’s what you were going to do.

But the demon’s expression had still remained blank. You had hurt him and he just wanted to be alone. Even as you babbled and begged, it was hopeless. The last thing you heard was “Goodbye, Y/N” before he disappeared right in front of you. Out of your hands before you even had time to register that he said goodbye.

Your whole body was shaking. You dropped to your knees and hit the floor with a loud thump. The whole world seemed to be crashing down around you and there was nothing you could do about it. You lifted your hands to run them through your hair before breaking down entirely. You cried, screamed, yelled. Everything. The love of your life was gone and you didn’t know when he was coming back, or if he was coming back. All because you said those stupid words to him in a fit of rage.

***

The build up came after you were being held at your job longer than normal for weeks. It wasn’t even a part of your plan. There was a major project coming up that called for all hands on deck. Which unfortunately came with loads and loads of overtime. While you’d normally get off at 5 p.m. you found most of your days getting off around 8 or 9 at night. And not only did it take a toll on you, it took a big one on Beetlejuice.

Beetlejuice was always excited when he watched the clock and saw his favorite breather walk through the door. You two had fallen into a routine: you’d go to work, coming home, tell each other about your day, and fuck cuddle until you both fell asleep. You were afraid that Beej wouldn’t be comfortable with the whole ‘stay-at-home husband’ boyfriend type of lifestyle but he loved it. And unfortunately, your job was cutting into that routine.

Working long hours made you tired and irritable. All you wanted to do was eat, shower, and sleep when you got home; and then repeat the next day. You weren’t really in the mood to hang out or stay up all night with Beej. He was starting to feel like an afterthought. His abandonment issues were kicking into overdrive and he was having none of it.

Soon enough you two were having the same argument every other day. Beetlejuice didn’t have a tight grip on reality and it was starting to irritate you. He didn’t understand that you couldn’t just ‘not show up to work’ or ‘not stay’ when your boss told you to. You were constantly telling Beej it was going to end soon. Just a few more weeks but he didn’t care. He was missing everything. Missing the time spent together. Missing your normal routine. Missing you.

The night in particular is when everything changed. Your boss held you later than usual; which was becoming the usual. It was now going on 10:45 p.m. and you were worn the hell out. You hoped seeing your boyfriend’s face would make everything better when you came in. You walked into your apartment and the air felt eerie and hot. When you closed and turned around Beetlejuice appeared in front of you suddenly. He made you jump and turn slightly.

“Jesus Christ, Beej. You scared the hell out of me.” You laughed as you placed your hand over your pounding chest. But the demon man didn’t look amused. When you turned back to him you saw that his hair was a mixture of dark red and blue. That obviously wasn’t a good sign. “B, what’s the matter? Your hair-”

“You’re late, babes.” Beetlejuice growled out. Oh, boy. Whenever Beej’s voice went down two octaves, that wasn’t during sexual activities, you knew something was horribly wrong. The look in his beaming eyes showed anger as well.

“I know. My dumbass boss didn’t realize how much work we had left from Monday. I said I might as well stay to finish it instead of letting it run over to tomorrow, ya know.” You said nonchalantly as you slipped your shoes off. Beetlejuice balled his fists at his side.

“No, Y/N. I don’t know. What I DO you know, is that you didn’t even call to let me know you were gonna be late.” You heard heavy frustration and aggressiveness in his voice.

“God, Beej, you’re upset over 1 hour? It’s not even that serious.” You said brushing past him. You were tired and not in the mood to have this fight with him again. You walked through the hallway to your bedroom and he wasn’t far behind.

“It’s not about the hour, it’s about you not telling me. It’s bad enough you have to stay late everyday.” He said while standing in the doorway. You quickly changed out of your work clothes to pajamas. Your own anger started to run through as the argument continued.

“Okay and it’s not my fault, Beej-” You said as you both walked to the living room.

“I never said it was.” The demon man stopped by the couch. You turned around to look at him.

“Well you're acting like it, B. I don’t need your passive-aggressive bullshit right now.” You threw your hands up in frustration. Disbelief hit Beej’s face.

“My bullshit? And what about yours, babes? Ever since your shit at work, you’re barely here. And when you are, you act like I’m invisible.” You saw the look of sadness and disappointment on his face.

“Beej, I know. But you know I’m not doing this on purpose. I would never want to make you feel that way. I’m trying my hardest to-”

“Well try harder!” Beej screamed at you and it was almost like his voice echoed over the whole apartment. You were taken back. Beetlejuice never yelled at you. But you weren’t going to let it go unnoticed. So you yelled back.

“You know what? Why don’t you get over it?! Find something to do while I’m not here! Go see Lydia and the Maitlands! You’re acting like I’m forcing you to stay here and wait for me!” You moved forward with your voice. Your blood was boiling and Beej’s hair was completely bright red now. His temper was breaking all the way through. He moved forward as well.

“The fact that I wait here everyday for you should mean something, right? I’m trying to show you I care! That I’m trying to comfort you-” He tried to finish but you heard enough. The fact that Beetlejuice was trying to make you seem like the bad guy made you ten times more aggravated.

“I already know you care, Beej! This has nothing to do with you showing you care, and everything to do with you being too fucking needy! All you’re doing is pushing your abandonment issues onto me like I’m the one at fault!” And you stopped. Almost instantly realizing what you said. You wished you could take it back. Erase everything you said. And that’s when you saw a streak of blue appear back in his hair.

****

Your teary eyes looked up at the clock on your wall. 2:35 a.m. You’d been crying for 3 1/2 hours. At first you sat on your knees, crying on the floor before moving to the couch and laying on your side. Sadness overwhelmed you. You just threw your love's biggest insecurity in his face. Broke his heart. Now he was gone. Vanished between your hands. And you felt awful about it.

You wanted him back sooner than later. You should’ve called his name. His traditional 3 times but you knew it wouldn’t work. Beej would show up just to pop away again. He was upset with you right now. Why would he come back so soon? You had no other way to reach him. No way to bring him back. And that broke your own heart.

You sat up on the couch and slumped backwards. You stared at your wrists for a moment before using your hands to wipe your tears away. You sniffed and whimpered before getting up to go to bed. Your appetite was gone so there was no use in trying to make any food. And with Beetlejuice on your mind, you weren’t going to get any sleep all night.

You turned off all the lights on the way to your room. Once in, you rushed to your bed. Just wanting to lay down and wallow in self pity. You plopped face down on your bed and moved to wrap your comforter around you. Even your bed felt empty without him. You felt a lump in your throat before letting a quiet sob. Just before you could let out another heavy cry, you opened your eyes to see a familiar set of black and white stripes sitting on the chair at your vanity desk. You shifted to prop yourself up on your elbow as you wiped your tears. You had to make sure your eyes weren’t deceiving you.

But there it was. Beetlejuice’s black and white suit jacket. Now that you thought about it, he didn’t have it on when you walked in the door. You practically jumped out of your bed to run and grab it. You lifted it up to instantly wrap it around you, taking in the scent. Although Beej was dead for who knows how long, you definitely introduced him to showers while you were together. Even after a shower, the demon man had a delightful musk that drove you wild. So you took in every breath from the jacket as it engulfed your body.

You placed your arms through the sleeves and wrapped them around your body. Forget work in the morning, you were staying here. Out of all the times Beetlejuice asked you to call in, now had to be the worst time. You walked back to your bed and sat down. On a whim, you started rummaging through every pocket the jacket had to offer. Not that you would find anything, you were just being curious. But as you roamed you noticed that almost every pocket, inside and out, was torn open. Whether it be completely ripped apart or having a small hole in it, these pockets weren’t useful.

The whole jacket was a shredded mess, honestly. But these pockets had to be fixed. You moved up from the bed to flip the light switch in your room. You then sat down at your vanity and pulled a small box of sewing supplies from the bottom drawer. After laying the jacket down on the desk top, you pulled out a black thread and needle from the box. You weren’t going to get any sleep tonight so might as well find something to do. Something to distract you. After flinching from the bright lights on the mirror, you got to work.

****

It was the next morning. You didn’t actually fall asleep until 7 a.m. You texted your boss that you weren’t going to be in just before laying your head down in your arms and passing out. While you worked on the pockets you still cried. Not as hard as when Beej first left, but little tears would spill here and there. All you could do was wipe them away and keep sewing.

You slowly sprung yourself awake. You turned your body to the side, cozying up to the cushion of your pillow. Wait...your pillow? You batted your eyes open before flinching as the sun from your window beamed directly on you. You sat yourself up on the bed and rubbed your eyes. When did you get in bed? You just fell asleep not too long ago. These questions went through your head as you looked around your room. Then a sudden thought hit you as you turned to look at your vanity. You remembered Beej’s jacket. Since you were staying home, maybe you could wear it all day and keep Beej’s scent on you.

But you weren’t just met with the demon’s jacket when you turned, you were also met with said demon. Your body froze when your eyes met with Beetlejuice’s. His facial expression was so soft but hard to read. He sat on your vanity chair with his jacket in hand. You weren’t entirely sure what to say or how to react. You looked back down at your comforter, trying to think of your next move. The two of you sat in awkward silence for a few minutes.

“Morning, dollface.” You heard from his direction. This scratchy sounding voice was like music to your ears. You looked up all too quickly.

“M-morning...what time is it?” You asked, trying to look around for your phone.

“It’s 10:45.” He spoke quietly. Like the same time you came home last night. Later than normal. You reached up and moved some hair from your face. “You’re not going to work?” You heard him ask.

“Oh, no, I texted my boss earlier. Told him I was sick or whatever.” You spoke as you scratched behind your ear. “I, uh, I didn’t really sleep last night. So I figured there was no point in going. Probably would’ve been falling asleep at my desk right now.” Beetlejuice chuckled after that. He hated your job for taking you from him. But he did think it was adorable when you tried to fight falling asleep. Silence fell between you two once again.

“You fixed my jacket.” Beetlejuice mumbled quietly but you still heard him. You looked and brightened up a little. You didn’t think it was a big deal but seeing his face made it a big deal.

“Y-yeah. Like I said I didn’t really sleep so I just found something to do. I just fixed the pockets really.” You stammered a bit. You saw him smile at the jacket as he inspected each pocket.

“Look, B. I don’t know how long you’ve been here and I know last night was crazy. But I think we should still talk about it.”

The man froze. Having forgotten about the events for a moment. He came back early in the morning to retrieve his jacket. Assuming you’d be asleep, his plan was to be in and out in 2 minutes flat. Swipe his jacket and go. But when the man saw you laying on top of the jacket at your desk, his plan was halted.

He knew he had to move you, you'd be so sore and cold once you woke up. He bent down to pick you up bridal style and placed you on your bed. But even after that, Beetlejuice stayed. Seeing your sleeping face made his heart soar. But it immediately sunk when he saw the dry tears on your face. So he stood over you, staring. Taking in every part of you. His favorite breather. His only love. His pale hand went to move some hair from your face and slowly grazed your cheek.

After a moment he moved to retrate back to the vanity. He picked up his jacket and immediately knew something was different. He looked at the inside pocket, realizing it didn’t have it’s usual hole. The demon stuck his finger inside to have it stopped by an unfamiliar thread. He looked back at you in your sleeping state in awe. He’d been meaning to have his pockets fixed but he never thought you’d be the one to do it. So he stayed. He sat in your chair and watched you. Waiting for the moment you’d finally wake up so he could thank you.

“Do we have to?” He asked quietly. His green hair was making its way back to blue. You moved to swing your legs off the side of the bed.

“Yeah, Beej, we should. Last night,” You gathered your words. Making sure you didn’t screw up again. “I said the unforgivable. Me throwing that out at you...was uncalled for, childish, and stupid. I said it at the worst time. I was just tired and frustrated and angry.” You tried to say all in one breath. While you talked you saw that he was looking down at the jacket. You could tell he was listening but you wanted to be double sure. You hopped off the bed and walked over to him. Once in front, you gathered his face in your hands. You wanted to be gentle. Making sure not to startle him so he’d vanish again. You moved his face to look at you.

“Beetlejuice, I don’t think you’re too needy. I will NEVER think you’re too needy. The fact that you act the way you do, shows how much you love me. And It feels amazing to be loved by you. I shouldn’t have brought up that stuff about abandonment issues. That was the ultimate low blow. If you’re still mad at me I’ll understand. But I hope you can forgive me. I’m so sorry.”

You said all that while looking directly into his golden eyes. You meant every word and prayed Beetlejuice understood that. You were unable to read his expression and it scared you. Before you could say anything else you felt his cold hands slide to the back of your thighs.

“I’m sorry too, sweets.” His voice rang sweetly through your ears. In your peripheral vision, you saw that the blue left his hair and was now mixed with his normal green and a light pink. But you shook your head.

“No, baby. You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” You said as you gripped his cheeks a little harder. He just smiled sweetly.

“No, I do. I basically blamed you for taking care of your responsibilities. I just got so tired of you being gone for so long. And when you came home not really wanting to do anything, I got even more mad. I was being selfish. And then,” The man moves his hands from your thighs to touch your wrists.

You’d forgotten about your wrists. When he took them carefully in his hands, you saw a faint amount of purple bruising. “Then I did this to you. If I could kick my own ass for it, I would. I hurt you, Y/N, and that’s something I’d never want to do again. I’m sorry for all of it, doll.” You only looked at him. Giving him forgiveness with your eyes. And he understood it.

“Babes, after I left, I just wanted to be back here so bad.” He smiled even wider and shook his head as if he couldn’t believe you were standing front of him. Back in his arms. You matched his smile as your eyes started to tear up again.

“I wanted you back here too.” You giggled. You felt one of his hands move from your wrist and reach to clean your tears away. Once they were gone, he moved it down on your cheek. You two sat in the moment of loving each other’s returned company. Finally you reached down to desperately place your lips onto his. Beetlejuice pushed back with just as much, if not more, desperation. You sighed deeply into his mouth as he pulled you closer.

You felt his other hand let go of your wrist and slide its way to your ass. But before you two could go any farther, you pulled your lips off his. You looked down, smiling at him and he smiled back.

“I love you, B.” You used one of your hands to graze through his hair softly. A bright pink had completely taken over every strand. His dopey grin made you giggle one more time.

“I love you more, babes.” Beej said softly before moving his lips to your neck. You rolled your eyes while looking upward. Beetlejuice just pecked at your skin with earnest desire.

“Beej, I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet.” You said as he made you sigh with each kiss. You felt him smirk on your neck and turned to look up at you.

“Mmm, even better.” He growled out. All you could do was laugh at the dead man.

Thanks for reading!💚💜🖤

#beetlejuice #beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice fanfiction #beetlejuice x reader #beetlejuice requests #beetlejuice asks #anon asks

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alanaswriting · 5 years

Text

Time After Time

Carl Grimes x Reader

Summary: Carl gives you the highschool dance you’ve always wanted

masterlist

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: None really?

A/N: Oh my god, I have not written in forever so please forgive whatever this is but! Enjoy?

Please don’t steal, plagiarize or repost my writing. I work really hard on my writing as I imagine all writers do and it would suck to find out someone else is trying to claim it as theirs

—

“This is so ridiculous.” Your voice comes out soft yet with a hint of humor behind it as Carl takes your hand.

The community of Alexandria was peaceful and quiet as the two of you stood in the middle of the town, lanterns illuminating silhouettes and houses in the distance. It was just the two of you, both of your bodies underneath the stars, hearts beating, blood pumping, and minds racing.

Curfew had already been set but Carl had insisted on the two of you sneaking out and with Rick being his father along with the leader of Alexandria you didn’t see the harm in it. You out of all people knew Alexandria was safer than any place you’d ever been. It was like a piece of the old world hanging at a thread of this destruction you called the new world.

“It is not! I’m trying to do something nice, would you just go along with it?” Carl’s familiar and soothing voice replies to you as his lips twitch into a smile.

Your torso was covered in a dark red dress that was slightly big on you, something Carl had picked out for you. It took tightening the straps all the way and a small belt around your waist to even make it look appealing but red was your favorite color and you appreciated the gesture. Regardless of the sizing it was gorgeous. You were surprised the 16 year old boy had any taste in dresses at all.

Carl had even dressed up, wearing a black blazer along with a white dress shirt underneath. He even had black slacks that looked a little long for him but the attempt was cute. Almost everything Carl did meant something to you specifically because he meant something to you. He always would.

You knew that young love usually died fast but you knew deep in your heart that Carl was going to leave a imprint on your soul. He already had. Carl was going to be someone you would never forget, and in your mind you hoped you never had to. You wanted to be with Carl forever and ever. But you knew how this life could be, and part of you was terrified everyday that one day you’d wake up and he would be out of reach, dead or disappeared.

However you had tonight, and you felt content with that.

“There’s not even any music.” You tell Carl, giving his hand a small squeeze and he raises his eyebrow, almost challenging you as he used his spare hand to reach into the pocket of his blazer.

He reaches inside and pulls out a cassette player, along with a pair of headphones. He hands you the cassette player signaling for you to help him plug in the headphones so he doesn’t have to pull his other hand away from yours. You willingly grab onto the rectangle machine and help him plug in the worn out headphones before he hands you one earbud, taking the other one and putting it in his own ear. It’d been awhile since you’d listened to music like this.

His hands are shaky and you can tell he’s a little nervous about the whole night but you secretly thought it was honestly the most romantic thing the boy had ever done for you in your 5 years of knowing him. Carl was always a little on the awkward side when it came to your relationship so the fact he had set this whole thing up without any help from you was surprising.

You knew his awkwardness came from his inexperience, his insecurities, and his own fear of expressing his feelings. You wonder if any of this would be different if you had found him in the old world, if this hellish phase never happened, would he still be so awkward and shy? Would the two of you even get along like how you do now?

“I didn’t have a lot of options but my mom used to listen to this song a lot when I was little so I thought, I don’t know. It’s kind of romantic? It’s all they had.” He rambles and you only giggle as he puts the cassette player back in his pocket, gently pressing play.

“Plus, it kind of reminds me of you.” Carl admits, clearing his throat. “I lost you once, that’s not happening again.”

Memories of when you two got separated after the prison flash through your mind and you remember how badly your 14 year old heart ached. You had Michonne, and you two became as close as could be in those days in the woods but you couldn’t help but think about Carl. If he was even alive, and god knows you prayed every night that he was.

It took some time but you found him once more, and you don’t think you’d ever been so happy to see that god awful blood stained shirt that used to be his favorite before it was damaged beyond repair. You had hugged him for what felt like hours, afraid that if you let go he wouldn’t be there.

You move your hands to his shoulders and his hands rest awkwardly on your hips causing you to try and hide a grin. This felt silly. Carl didn’t catch it due to the dim lighting and the fact you looked down purposely avoiding his gaze. He rests his forehead against your own, letting out a shaky breath.

“Relax.” You whisper to him, waiting for the music to play.

It takes a couple seconds but suddenly your right ear is filled with an old song from the 80’s. Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper. This causes you to smile immensely because this was most certainly not Carl’s type of music, neither was it yours but, it was sweet. It was romantic in it’s own way. Awfully cheesy but still romantic in your mind.

It was relatable. You couldn’t count the amount of times Carl had pulled you out of a rough place after a cold death of someone you loved, or how many times you had stopped him from going down a path that felt too dark, even for this world.

Carl does as you say and his grip on your hips gets more comfortable and you can feel him shoulders loosen up underneath your touch. You look up at him and catch a glimpse of those blue eyes you adored so much. The ones that you swore were the exact color of Neptune themselves. The freckles spread across his cheeks looked like little stars shimmering behind the bright blue orbs and you couldn’t help but admire him.

“Do you know the lyrics?” You tease, watching his cheeks burn red as he nods a little, giving you a small shrug.

“Mom liked it a lot. I kinda got it stuck in my head whether I wanted it there or not.”

You close your eyes before swaying your body to the beat of the music, enjoying the couple minutes of peace with the boy who had your entire heart in the palm of his hand. You give him little Eskimo kisses with your nose before speaking up once more.

“If you're lost you can look and you will find me, time after time.” You mumble in a sing song tone of voice, waiting for him to finish the lyrics as the apples of his cheeks redden even more.

“Jesus christ.” He sighs before continuing. “If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting, time after time.”

You giggle loudly and he shakes his head, his hair falling in his face as he looks up, staring at the sky as if he regrets this whole thing just from how awkward he felt in the moment. Carl felt embarrassment flooding through his body at the fact he just sang the lyrics of an 80’s love song to the girl who could make his heart skip beats without even trying to.

In that moment underneath the Virginia sky that was clear as could be he wondered what she could really do to him. If she could make his heart stop with a couple of words what else was she capable of that he hadn’t thought about? He was at her mercy without even realizing it up until now, and it was absolutely terrifying and beautiful all at once, to give someone your most vulnerable piece of soul and trust them not to twist and turn it into nothing.

“Carl?” Your voice brings him back to reality and he looks down at you before swallowing loudly.

Carl looks down at you, watching you as you keep your eyes closed, listening to the music peacefully. You looked so innocent. It was hard to imagine you were capable of all the horrible things the two of you had done to survive in this moment, because he swore, maybe even if it was just for this one moment, you looked like an innocent.

“I think I’m in love with you.” He says unexpectedly and you feel your body freeze despite your previously flowing motions.

Carl stares at you waiting for a reply as the words sink into your mind, taking their sweet time, causing Carl’s palms to grow sweaty after a few seconds pass. You open your eyes to see the fear in his one and you realize that this was probably the most vulnerable he had ever been with anyone. It made your heart leap out of your chest and the thought of you being the one who held the key to his heart caused an explosion of butterflies escape in your stomach.

His breathing is quick and you can feel his panic setting in as he goes to pull away from you, but you don’t let him. No way was he getting away from you in this moment, not again. You keep your grip on his shoulders tight before leaning up, pressing yourself up on your toes just the tiniest bit since Carl wasn’t that much taller than you. Your eyes flicker to meet his and you watch as he stares at you with uncertainty. You close your eyes and take a deep breath before pressing your lips against his.

It wasn’t the longest kiss ever, but it was sweet, and it was reassurance. It was reassurance that whatever Carl felt for you was exactly what you felt for him. Maybe you were too scared to say it, or too surprised, but you thought your kiss said more than your words ever could.

Once you pull away you can tell the taller boy has relaxed once more, realizing you indeed felt the same about him as he did for you. He didn’t know to what extent you felt for him but he hoped he hadn’t said too much or made too big of a gesture with all of this. He just wanted to give you something normal. He just hoped whatever you felt was enough to keep you around, maybe for as long as time would allow.

You’d always complained you’d never gotten to go to a high school dance. It was the one thing you’d never get over. You’d complained about it more times than Carl could remember and he used to be annoyed by it but as time went on he started to understand. Missing the experience of that left you feeling unfulfilled and sad, and Carl wanted to give you something to fill that little void in your soul. Maybe it wasn’t a full on prom but, he thought it was something.

“If you fall, I will catch you, I will be waiting,” You whisper, a grin playing on your lips, waiting for him to finish as the song begins to come to an end.

“Time after time.” His voice matches yours, and in that moment, all that mattered was the two of you.

Your time might’ve been limited together, but this moment was infinite. Time was yours.

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whumpiary · 4 years

Text

continued directly from the last section of this post. the lead-up post is vignettey, so you can skip straight to the last section for context especially as majority of the warnings in the post do not apply for that section.

[content warnings: heevily referenced drugs and drugging, referenced past abuse, panic attack, mild dissociation, brief emeto mention]

He wakes up in Lou's bed. He knows it's Lou's bed because despite the chokers and studded boots, her bedroom is all bohemian patterns and peach tones and the doona cover is too. He doesn't move yet. He doesn't have it in him to bear it.

It's a horrible, horrible feeling, drifting away in complete terror and walking up full to the brim of nothing but numbing calm.

It would be disorientating - should be - but honestly he's done this so many times that it feels like a well rehearsed play. His mouth is dry. His muscles ache. If he sits up to fast the dizziness will come crashing in. The headache won't fade until halfway through tomorrow.

What he isn't expecting, when he rolls over to face the window, is Lou in the cane chair in the corner, curled up like a cat with her head on her knee.

He doesn't say anything.

For a long while neither does she.

It's a long frozen minute, falling through space.

"Hey," she says, not raising her head. He doesn't say anything.

Slowly, she uncurls herself until she's sitting, feet on the floor. Her bedroom looks nothing like her but suits her all the same. Crushed bright colors, too many pillows, a collection of knick-knacks too artsy to be accidental. Evidence that she has a soft side beneath the resting bitch face.

Pity that side was twisted too.

"You awake this time, or…?" she trails off, tilts her head to the side as she looks at him. She's got this soft worried look on her face like it matters to her what he thinks of her. Like it matters to her what he's feeling.

"Did I do something earlier?" he asks. It happened sometimes, with sleeping pills. Or powders. Whatever they'd given him. Sleeping, sure, but sleep talking too. Walking, even. He'd heard stories of people driving all the way to work and clocking in before someone clued they weren't conscious. Full on sleep fucks.

"Sorta," Lou shrugs "Just lay there like that and then went back to sleep."

Silence again. She's watching him so carefully he feels like he might shatter.

"Josiah made some pasta," she says, trying for light. It doesn't reach her eyes. He registers kind of apathetically that it looks like she's been crying "I don't know if it's any good but-"

“Not hungry.”

“I can get you some water?”

"You must think I'm fucking stupid."

Lou bites down on her tongue, lips twisted with the way it's shoved between her molars. She rubs her thumb across her temple. Sighs. "Yeah, that’s... fair."

He keeps watching her, like a tiger watching its keeper, and she keeps trying to pretend it isn’t making her nervous. She plays with the rolled hem of her shirt, inspects her nails like she’s considering biting them, smooths the edges of the blanket over the arm of the chair. And Cass just watches.

There’s a bird outside singing out without reprieve. Only it isn’t singing. Not really. It's a shrill sorta shriek. Like it’s screaming and screaming and screaming.

“I really am sorry, Cass,” she whispers, low enough that he wonders if she's hoping he won’t hear it. Cass revels in the fire that burns in his chest as she says it. It’s the stoking of violence and hatred and the worst kind of vindication.

Cass doesn’t say anything. He watches.

He wonders when she took her makeup off. If it’d been last night — or whenever it was he’d been awake last — or if she’d done it just before coming in. A way of making her look more vulnerable. More open.

Look like the innocent flower etcetera, et-fucking-cetera.

“Cass, love. About last-”

“Where’s Josiah?” he says, trying very hard to make it seem like it’s just a question and not a way of counting bullets. She looks at him, almost scoffs just under breath. He watches the inhale, the hold, the exhale. The careful choice of words.

“Um. Last night, any time Josiah came close, tried to touch you... You were um...”

He can’t remember but he can imagine it. He can imagine the pendulum swinging between kicks and bared teeth or begging and pleading. Or maybe he just cried.

That’s the worst one. When he cries.

Lou shrugs, almost trying to wave it off. “We just thought maybe you needed some space.”

Cass considers that. That could mean he left the house. It could mean he’s still here, just the next room over. Depends how much they want to trust Cass won’t leave with just one person watching. Lou sucks in an audible breath in preparation to say something, and he raises his gaze to meet hers, despite himself.

“Look. Last night. Before you fell asleep. When you were, um…” she starts. Stops. Clears her throat. Tries again. Like a stalling car. “Like, when… you know when you weren’t...-”

“After you drugged me,” he says, voice cold and flat. “That’s what you’re tryna say, right?”

Her eyes flick up to meet his and for a second they’re so full of defensive anger and fury that he has to stop himself from flinching backwards. He tilts his head back in the pillows instead, silently dares her to feel righteous right now. But the look fades as quick as it had sparked, replaced by shame and guilt and sorry.

“Stop talking bullshit, Lou,” he says, hopes beyond hope that she’ll give him the small mercy of ignoring the tremor in his voice “Or just stop talking.”

She takes a deep breath, looking at the ceiling. Holds it. Releases slowly.

“After we drugged you,” she says, sentences punctuated by the firm clenching of her jaw, “You kept coming in and out of it. You were…”

He turns away from her as she talks, lying flat on his back. His eyes trace the cornices of the ceiling. This is an old house. One of those good bones sort of places. He’s never really noticed before.

“You were scared. You were really scared.”

Yeah no shit, fuckwad.

“You kept saying things. Like the time you had the fever.”

He closes his eyes, waiting for impact.

“You mentioned… him again,” she says, voice tight and strained “Bergen.”

He can imagine the way her face looks. That pained, apologetic expression that’ll be pointed at the ground and not at him. Pity and heartbreak and baby, it’s okay, I’m so sorry, let me make it better.

Fuck her.

The bird outside pipes up again. Screaming and screaming and screaming.

“Cass, we didn’t know,” she says eventually “I’m so sorry. We both are. We didn’t know.”

Cass snorts.

“Yeah, you did,” he says. He’s almost startled by how strong his voice sounds. Low and steady. Dryly amused.

“Sorry?”

“You knew.”

He turns back to face her and that look on her face — sorry and lost and a little bit hurt — God, he wishes he could photograph it and keep it forever.

“Cass,” she’s shaking her head just barely, deer in head lights, beside the headlights, looking at the roadkill. “I swear to God. I swear to you. Neither of us knew. If we had’ve known what Bergen did to you, if we knew how it was gonna affect you... Look, we would’ve done it different. We would’ve.”

"Okay," he says, nodding like he's considering that. He takes his time sitting up, doesn’t try to hide the dizziness or the way he has to slam his eyes closed as the headache spikes.

“So… remind me, because frankly my memory of last night is a little muddled-" she flinches at that and it sends a thrill through him "-but at any point did you try just giving me the thing and asking me to take it?"

Lou scoffs and looks away, fingers fidgeting together restlessly between her knees.

"Answer me, Lou," he spits. You owe me that. "Did you even once just offer me the fucking pill?"

"No", she says. Low. Flat.

“Why not?” he says, heavy on the faux-ignorance. Like he’s just genuinely puzzled by a weird social phenomenon “Honestly, I’m curious. Why didn’t you just ask me to take it? Wouldn’t that’ve been easier? Could’ve saved the fucking teabag.”

Lou hisses an in-breath through her teeth and tilts her head up to the ceiling, violently blinking tears away that both of them would rather die than see fall right now. “Cass, come on.”

“No, I want you to answer me," he says, calm and low."I want you to think about it and actually fucking answer me.”

When she looks back at him, her face is schooled placid, though her breaths nearly give her away, jumping in little suppressed hiccups in her chest.

"Because you wouldn't have taken it," she says, matter-of-fact, eyebrows arching up in that way they do when she's getting defensive.

He shrugs, like he doesn't get it. “How do you know?”

“Because you’re weird about that stuff,” she says, she sounds almost annoyed that he’s making it spell it out so obviously. “You wouldn’t even eat dinner, you get weird about that stuff."

"Then you knew, didn't you?" he says. In the silence that follows, in the moments it takes for her eyes to close in shame, he can feel his heartbeat start to pick up, caught somewhere between his chest and his throat “You knew, one way or the other what doing that would mean to me. And you did it anyway.��

"Cass-"

"Whose idea was it?" he asks, no chance for another excuse to come pouring out of her "Who came up with the grand plan?"

"Me. I did" but she says it too fast.

"Right, so Josiah, then," he scoffs. It would almost be easier if it was the other way around. Lou usually meant for the best but sometimes she took a misstep. But Josiah. Josiah's meant to be the one who knows.

"Don't be angry at him," she says. Fuck her for making it a plea. "Please, Cass. We were just trying to help you, we were trying to keep you safe. We were scared"

"You were scared?"

For once he doesn’t give a shit that his eyes are burning just a little. Let her fucking see him cry. Let it hurt her. It’s all rage anyway.

"Jesus Christ, you're right. How could I possibly stay mad at you. You were scared"

"We were scared, Cass. We were scared for you" she says, "You weren't eating. You weren't sleeping. You said no hospitals, we didn't want you to fucking die"

"Ah, so it was for my own good."

"Yes," she all but growls.

Cass laughs.

"So where's the line, huh?" he says, dangerous manic smile splitting his face "Would you lock me up for my own good? Send me away? Hurt me?"

She looks away, bites down on her bottom lip, leg bouncing double-time with fury and shame while her fingers grip the edge of the chair.

"You know he did that too?" he says, catching her eyes, watching it wound "He was always doing things for my own good. Hitting me, starving me, holding me down.”

“I’m not doing this, Cass,” she says, a mask of stoic indignation “I’m not letting you get a rise outta me just so you can prove some messed up point.”

“But you’d be so good at it, Lou,” he pushes “Maybe not some of it, but we all know you can land a hit, don’t we?”

She crosses her arms, but she’s still sitting forward on the chair, like her body’s poised to launch up at the slightest provocation.

“I’ve always kinda been waiting for it, you know? I knew you were always waiting to teach me a lesson. I just always thought it’d be with your fists not with some weak-ass pussy bullshit in the bottom of a tea cup.”

“Stop it.”

“It fucking kills you, doesn’t it? That you don’t have control over me any more. You would love for me to be back in a Facility lab, waiting for you to dole out piss-weak kindnesses like some fucking psychic Mother Teresa hypocrite.”

There are tears in her eyes as she shakes her head, speaks through her teeth, "That is not fair."

Another laugh. “You're right. It's not."

“Cass, you never told us-"

"I shouldn't have to!” and he fucking bellows it, humor gone, teeth bared like a beast. Lou flinches the best way a fighter knows how, back straight, eyes wide, hands reflexively jolting into fists for an attack that won’t come “I shouldn't have to tell you about every shitty fucking thing in my shitty fucking life to for you to know not to roofie me.”

His heart is hammering hard, too hard and too fast for what’s happening right now. He has the stupid, irrational thought that he’s gonna go to Penance for yelling like that. But that’s… that’s wrong. That’s old thoughts. Old tracks echoing out from the heaviness of his bones right now.

But knowing that doesn’t stop the way his breath picks up, it doesn’t stop the darkening edges of his vision as oxygen refuses to make it to his lungs. He fixes his eyes to the carpet, tries to steady himself on the mattress because he feels like he’s gonna fall, even sitting.

“Jesus, Lou,” he whispers, words barely squeezing out his throat and he’s sure it’s closing up “You, you drugged me. You fucking… you drugged…”

This can’t be real. This isn’t real. Any second the world’s gonna fall away and either he’ll wake up on the couch with his tea still steaming hot and untouched or he’ll wake up back in Christopher’s lap and everything, all of this, will have been some sick, sick nightmare twisting his heart in the worst possible way.

There’s no way this has happened. There’s no way that he managed to find people that he trusts and he loves and who he thought maybe loved him only to have them do this all over again.

His eyes fly around the room as his breathing mutates into something entirely of its own. He’s not even sure what he’s searching for, what he’s hoping to find. An exit, maybe, or a thing that makes sense. Something that will make this make sense or make it disappear or will prove to him that his life can’t be this fucked up. It can’t possibly be this fucked up.

“Cass-”

He sees Lou shifting forward and he stutters back, pushing sheets down to the foot of the bed with his feet in the rush to fly backwards, the twisted-metal headboard digging into his spine.

“Don’t,” he spits, but it's full of sorrow and fear and he hates that it sounds so weak “Don’t you dare.”

And she freezes. Mercifully. Settles back down in the chair, fingers twitching along the woven cane.

The panic attack – and that's what it is, isn't it? the numbed, rational part of his brain provides him that much – builds and builds, uselessly.

Fear that can’t go anywhere. Adrenaline coming in too late to save him. He interlocks his fingers behind his neck, arms squeezing either side of his head as he closes his eyes, toys curling up, body curling up like that could possibly protect him from what’s happening.

He feels like the terror is never gonna leave him, never gonna stop, he’s gonna be like this forever, body shutdown and mind splintering a hundred, a thousand, a million different ways while the world spins on and on around him. But then all at once, it starts running out, like a dying motor.

This is silly, darling boy.

Like somewhere in his head, he’s decided that’s enough time-wasting for now.

You’ve done this a thousand times, what’s the fuss for?

His breaths stutter and slow and level out into wheezes until he feels hollow and numb. When he opens his eyes, he’s still staring at peach paisley bed-sheets, and he’s equal parts relieved and horrified that none of it was a dream.

This is real.

This happened.

Just another layer of kinda fucked up.

"Where are my clothes?" he croaks out, after a few minutes of hollowed-out quiet. He feels water-logged drained dry at the same time "This isn't my shirt. Where's my stuff?"

"You threw up," Lou mutters, chair creaking beneath her as she shifts "You were hyperventilating and... You threw up. So we had to wash it. It's in the dryer, it’ll be done soon."

"Okay.”

The bird outside had changed its tune. Or maybe it's a whole different bird, he's never been great at picking between them. It keeps giving off a low trill, persistent and badgering. Like it has something to say. He misses the screaming.

"I need water,” he says, the dry husk to his voice a testament to the glass.

"’Course. I’ll go get you a glass"

The look he gives her withers the suggestion straight away, “No, you’ll help me to the fucking sink.”

“Cass, come on.”

“No, Lou,” he snaps. He’s almost startled by the fact he has more in him right now. “You ruined it. You get that, right? You fucking ruined it”

He keeps thinking it. All the cliches.

You ruined it. I trusted you. How could you? I could’ve been happy here. You were meant to be safe.

They all feel so stupid. He feels so fucking stupid.

"Yeah," Lou says, softly. Apologetically. Tears stuck in her throat. Bird changing its tune. Or maybe singing the same one. "I know.”

He swings his feet over the edge of the bed and manages to stand up by himself. But by the time he’s taken a step his legs are shaking so badly he doesn’t hesitate grabbing at Lou’s arm for stability, even at the desire to recoil at accepting the help, accepting he’s weak.

Her thumb runs a little circle along his fore-arm and his shoulder tenses up on that side but he doesn’t move to stop her or tell her any different. Too close to acknowledging he’s letting her touch him at all.

He wishes he didn’t know that he’ll forgive her by next week. He’ll forgive them both. Process, get over it, move on. He wants to hate them forever. It’d be so much easier to hate them forever.

He doesn't know why it hurts so much this time. He doesn't know why he feels not just angry but so, so sad. He doesn't know why and also he does and it's the knowing that hurts.

By the time they’re in the hallway, Cass is crying freely, silently, the only sound the tiny hissing shudder of his breaths as they get caught on the grief in his throat.

“Love...”

Lou reaches up for his face and he pulls back. Not so much a flinch as it is a gentle turn of his face. A pleading for space.

“Don’t,” he says, a little hiccuping sob following the word “Please just don’t.”

She pulls her hand away and readjusts her grip on his arm. She lets him lead, awkward as it is with her arm holding the balance.

He lets the tears slide down his face. He’s too tired to stop them. Too scared. Too fucking sad.

And it’s horrible. The worst.

It’s always the worst. When he cries.

#emotional whump #drugs cw #drugging cw #emeto mention cw #panic attack #past trauma #bad caretaker #betrayal #i trusted you trope #sad boy hours #oof they fucked up so bad #so so bad #cassius #lou

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johnseedfanclub · 3 years

Note

microscope, mixtape, ufo, and parachute for Angel please!!

okay....This one’s quiiiiite lengthy sorry about that 😅😅😅

Thanks for the ask! ♥️

Hope y’all like this one~

microscope: zoom in – describe the little, insignificant details about an OC.

Angel loves Thai iced tea and sweet drinks! He only drinks coffee for the caffeine but doesn’t actually like coffee (he prefers his with a lot of sugar/flavoring to cover up the bitter coffee taste)

Angel wishes he could have a pet but is scared he might hurt them with his bad mood swings

He secretly loves and wants plushies. He also has an attachment to them but never admits it because he’s “too old” for them.

His type is brunette, charming, suave, rich/wealthy men (not literally but is a nice add on yk~) , with light colored eyes (coincidentally it sounds like John but he can’t stand him)

Actually acts out/badly for a bit of attention he usually does it for shits and giggles but does it to receive a reaction out of someone whether it be from the person he’s talking to or the audience watching

He actually wishes people gave him more affection and reassurance. He never truly knows how much his friends appreciate him an a lot of times he feels like they don’t much. He doesn’t tell them the truth though because he doesn’t want to come off as jealous, needy or as an “attention seeker”

Likes dressing feminine more than masculine. He absolutely HATES men’s clothing Hawaiian shirts, turtlenecks, tuxedos/formal wear are the only exceptions (he would pretend to like the boxes of men’s clothing he would receive from friends as gifts. Would never even wear them. Maybe once if he doesn’t want to hurt their feelings)

Canonically he is “blonde” but he’s actually a brunette (light brown hair) but likes to dye his hair blonde instead

ufo: identity! what are some key identifying qualities or traits of your OC(s)? how to they identify in regards to gender/sexuality?

Special Qualities: his personality. Angel has a very unique personality compared to everyone he knows. He has this funny, mean/sarcastic, chill vibe to him. He always teases and plays around with his friends, not to mention he’s quite blunt and honest with anyone (even more harsh to people who annoy him). And though he seems like a small angry chihuahua at times, he’s a real sweetheart to everyone. He is never afraid to try anything new, no matter now fucking crazy or dangerous it may be he’s totally down to do it. That’s why both Eden’s Gate and the Resistance fear

Good Traits: He’s comedic (even at the worst times or when you need it), is the best at throwing house parties (even at 30 years old), he can help you with any favor it doesn’t even matter what it is (almost impossible to ask him of something he can’t do), he’ll take care of you when you’re sick/hungover/injured/depressed/having a panic attack, he’s a great cook and willing to share whatever he makes with anyone (if there’s enough), and he’s always generous (a big gift giver)

Bad Traits: He can a bit overly aggressive/rude (sometimes accidentally), he’s bad at remembering/keeping tract of things (he knows everyone’s favorite animal but totally forgets their birthdays and/or names), tends to crack under too much (bad) pressure and become extremely aggressive or violent, holds in his true feelings and emotions, has really bad mood swings, can be easy to piss off, can be too loud (mouthed) at times

Sexuality: Gay (attracted to men)

Gender identity: depends on the way he dresses/his mood normally he prefers he/him/they/them but if he dresses more feminine (wears makeup, tight dresses, feminine accessories) you could call him by she/him, or even they/them. (No pronoun preferences when he cross dresses)

#squad: who’s friends with who? what are the squad dynamics like?

Angel has few friends outside Hope County. The main people he’s friends with are Mary May, Jerome, Staci Pratt, Sharky Boshaw, Hurk Drubman Jr, Adelaide, Faith Seed, the Angel Twins (Jeremiah and Isaiah), the Whitetails, and a few of the peggies of Eden’s Gate

The only squads that Angel are apart of are

Sharky + Hurk = The Bomb Squad

Peggies = Eden’s “Gays”

Angel, Sharky, and Hurk are like the best and worst pairing. They’re all sweet, funny, and humble but can be obnoxious and destructive as FUCK. Anytime they go somewhere to find/finish some mission. It always ends in them leaving a trail of either, fire, gunpowder, or an explosion of some sort (either vehicle, silo, bliss tank, or outpost/building). Don’t even ask or mention what they do for leisure time. More crazy stunts and tricks that could put any normal person with a normal brain in the ER in critical condition. And at the bar? Jesus Christ. They order enough alcohol to kill 5 men but somehow make it through the night. And if they aren’t drinking, they’re sure as hell smoking weed or whatever the fuck Sharky has been brewing in his trailer (it’s most likely a 50/50 chance that you’ll pass out or die from it). They’re definitely one crazy ass group, nothing you would ever even expect, not even out of a crazy...Hollywood...Michael Bay movie. A feminine Latino city gay, an old cheery bomb-rocket enthusiast, and a insane pyromaniac that has a warrant. There definitely isn’t a dull moment with these three. But...you’re good as gone if you’re stuck with them for more than 11 minutes.

Angel and the Eden’s “Gays” are a pretty decent sized group of 6 men (plus the Twins some days) that are the few queer men of Eden’s Gate. Originally they seemed quite closeted because of the cult’s religion and some of its rules. But with Angel around they soon became another loud, obnoxious group of men. Before the whole group was “founded” the original 6 peggies (including John Seed himself) didn’t like Angel at all because of how loud and “out” he seemed (not to mention the carelessness). But as Angel visited the bunkers more often (after he was kidnapped by John) they slowly grew fond of him. Angel would always do kind gestures to learn more about Eden’s followers by helping them with chores, tasks, bringing them food and treats from outside the compound (though he wasn’t supposed to), and even help them find comfort in their own troubles. Though Angel liked a lot of the members he really favored 6 different followers in particular Connor, Michael, Anthony, Jace, and Jefferey (those who were the first followers he interacted with). Now they’re known as Eden’s Gays troublemakers. They sneak out to the Spread Eagle to drink, host secret parties in Hope County, and smoke as well. There isn’t a moment where they aren’t breaking the cult’s rules. They’re the only group of peggies some of the resistance members trust mostly because Angel made a rule of not attacking or harming them and actually enjoy being around. They’re definitely always getting into trouble with both sides too, much like Angel, starting small fights during church/sermons, fooling around on the job, or going around Hope County not to attack the locals but pester the living shit out of them. They almost stop being violent mean peggies and instead just become this goofy comedic group of young men. (Fun Fact: the “Eden’s Gays” were actually a thing before the cult became hostile *during its first few years in Hope County* and John was mostly the “leader” of the crazy group)

mixtape: 5 songs that describe your OC(s) or songs they themselves would like.

Ohohohooooo~

(The possibilities are endless for this one so I’m sticking to a Baddie playlist he would listen to)

May I ~ Flo Mili

Literal Legend ~ Ayesha Erotica

Yikes ~ Nicki Minaj

I like it ~ Cardi B

Sway With Me ~ Saweetie & GALAXARA

parachute: who does your OC(s) trust the most? who makes them feel safe? who would they do absolutely anything for?

Missy (my U.S. Marshal oc), is one of the few people he trusts the most. During the time from when he was arrested to when he was released out of jail (and transferring to Hope County Jail), she was always like a mother figure to him. And though she was supposed to investigate Angel’s murder and drug charges, she treated him kindly and respect, instead of a criminal. Without Missy, Angel might as well been as good as dead since she was the one that helped him move to a psychiatric ward instead of federal prison after discovering who he really was. Even after he was released, Missy still treated him as if he was her own son. She allowed him to stay at her penthouse apartment when Angel told her his father had disown him and he had no where to go. She always cared about him, made sure he ate, drank water, took care of himself, and even helped him get a better mindset. Though Angel still teases Missy by calling her “Mama Bear (Missy)” or “Mother Goose (or hen)” he’s forever grateful she was always there for him.

#deputy oc headcanons #farcry oc headcanons #farcry oc #far cry 5 oc #oc: angel sanchez #far cry deputy #deputy oc #far cry 5 #fc5 #far cry #john seed #jacob seed #joseph seed #farcry 5 #far cry fandom #far cry fanfiction

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jos-corner-of-the-world · 4 years

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Last House on the Left - {34}

{Thirty Three}{Master List}

Over the next few weeks, you and Shownu had hung out quite a bit. He'd taken you to the library he works at and even brought you lunch a couple days at work.

You talked on the phone sporadically and text him about your day.

It wasn't awkward anymore, but I didn't feel like dating yet either. You didn't quite understand, so you took your concern to Mei.

"It feels like friendship." You told her when the two of you were at dinner one night.

"Is that bad?"

"No. He's fun to be around. But it feels weird almost. Like… There are things we should be doing but aren't."

"Like… sexual?" Mei asked.

"What? No! Like... other couple stuff. There's no hand holding or kissing, there's just…us. He did put his arm around the back of the couch the other night when we were watching a movie, but I don’t think it was intentional."

"Do you want him to make a move?"

"I don't know. He's really nice, but I've not made a move either. I'm just worried about how he's feeling, but I'm too scared to ask."

"I get that. Beginnings can be hard. Would you consider him your boyfriend?"

"No. I consider him potentially a boyfriend, but not one yet. I mean, it could look to others like we are dating, but it's more like just hanging out. I'm not upset about it at all, just horribly confused. I don't think the feelings are there." You admitted.

"I think you should just ask him. Pretending the tension doesn't exist isn't okay."

"Ugh, I know. Can you and Allen, like, not go back to China and just stay here. I can't do this without you."

Mei laughed at your pain for a moment before answering.

"We're going to be gone for two weeks. We have to pack up and get everything to the shippers. Then I'll be here forever."

"But two weeks is forever Mei!"

"Sweetie, can I be honest for a second?"

"Well, last time you were honest you told me I had posts for legs. So...sure why not "

Mei laughed loudly before realizing her surroundings and lowered her voice.

"I think if you feel like you need me, your best friends mom, to walk you through a relationship… Maybe you're just not ready yet. And that's okay. I feel like you're trying to make something work that might not be meant to. I love you and I'm more than willing to listen to anything and everything that happens in your life, but it kills me to see this inner struggle you seem to be dealing with. I can talk with you about all of it, but inevitably the decision is between you and Shownu."

You sat quietly for a moment, digesting Mei's words.

"I hope I haven't offended you dear."

"Oh God, no. Not at all. I'm just processing it all. I just feel like if I broach it with him, it'll be horribly awkward. I'm scared to be honest. My last boyfriend, as I mentioned, was straight up not a good dude-"

"I think we settled with bastard, but go on."

"Right" you laughed. "And I feel like the next person who dates me is going to realize how lacking I am as a person. I doubt things and I get self conscious. Jisung has put a lot into my head about who I am as a person, and I fear that's going to negatively affect me in a relationship. I feel like no one is going to want to be there for my highs and lows, because of how extreme they are. I push things away and pretend they don't exist until I have to deal with them or I'll break down completely. The worse I'm feeling, the more annoyingly fine I become. There's no man on the planet who wants to deal with that. I don't even want to deal with that. Shownu is such a nice guy, he doesn't deserve to have a mess for a girlfriend."

You had been staring at your plate through your whole monologue, afraid of what you'd see on Mei's face.

"Y/n, look at me." Mei said kindly.

You took a deep breath before putting your head up.

"First of all, you're an amazing person. Everyone has struggles and deals with them in different ways. All those things you describe make you who you are, and I love you for it. Also, if a man isn't willing to help you through your troubles, he's not worth it. You should know your worth and not let a man, or anyone, make you feel differently. Lastly, that's a lot of decisions you're making for Shownu, for any future partner. How do you know he wouldn't be there for you? How do you know he won't fight for you when you're fighting against yourself? I know you're scared, but you shouldn't make that decision for him. Talk to him, get to know each other and let him decide if he's going to be with you. But just remember, even if Shownu did learn all these things and decided he didn't want to be with you, that's okay. You'll find someone who knows you, knows your struggles and wants to be there for you. Someone who wants to anchor you and hold you when you're falling apart and laugh with you when you're happy. Just make sure to give yourself a chance."

-----

Two days later found you saying your goodbyes to Mei and Allen.

"It'll only be two weeks. Remember what we talked about? There's no time like now." Mei said as she hugged you goodbye.

"Thank you." You said as you pulled away.

"Alright. Don't burn the house down while we're gone."

"We've managed just fine this long, ma." Minghao laughed.

"Alright. We'll see you guys in a couple weeks. Call me if you need anything, anything at all." Mei said, directed more towards you.

"I will. Thank you. Love you Mei."

Minghao turned towards you quickly, surprised to hear the words tumble from your mouth.

"Love you too sweetie. Just remember, you're worth the moon and the stars."

"Um...hello? Your son here? I love you too?"

"Yeah, yeah. Love you Ming Ming." Mei said, laughing at Minghao's irritated face.

---

You were sitting at the kitchen table an hour after Mei left, putting together color packets, when Minghao wandered into the kitchen.

"Got plans tonight?" Minghao asked you.

"Just color packets for the littles for Monday." You told him, looking up at him.

"Want to hang out tonight? I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

"Definitely. I could use a break from...everything." you told him honestly.

"Does this have anything to do with my mom telling you that you're worth the moon and the stars?" He asked, taking a seat in the hair across from you.

"Yeah. She's been helping me with some stuff. My mind is kind of all over the place and she's helping me keep centered."

"Can I help you with anything?" Minghao asked.

"Honestly, no. It's not that I don't trust you or want to share my burdens with you, it's just...this is different. I appreciate it though, I really do."

"I know you do Y/n. I can admit defeat when I see it."

"Defeat? What are you talking about?" You asked, scared that you'd made him mad.

"I've been replaced. I no longer hold worlds greatest best friend status. It's a sad day."

"What? Minghao no, I could never replace you. You're literally the only thing keeping me sane most days. Please don't feel like I've replaced you for anyone else."

"Whoa, hey calm down. I was joking. I was talking about my mom and how close you guys seem to be."

"Jesus Christ Minghao! Don't scare me like that. I thought you were really mad at me!" You whined, reaching across the table to slap his hand.

"I mean, I kind of am serious. I knew you and ma were close because of the dinner dates and late night conversations, but I was really surprised today when you told her you loved her."

"I'm sorry, is that awkward for you?"

"Not at all. I knew you guys would be close when you met. I've spent a lot of time over these last seven months telling mom about you and our life here. She declared you the daughter she always wanted. I'm really happy you guys have connected so strongly. I was never worried she wouldn't like you, but I sometimes worried how you'd perceive her."

"Why? She's literally the most amazing person and mother ever." You told him.

"I know, but you and I are different. She spent so many years mothering me by being blunt and never backing down from a hard conversation. She tells her opinion, whether you want to know or not. Sometimes…sometimes it's what you need, but you don't want to hear. I didn't want her to push you away."

"Honestly, if I'd have met her six months ago, she may have. But the honest conversations I've had with you and Jooheon, hell even Wonwoo, have shown me that I don't need to shy away from the hard things. We had a very candid conversation at dinner the other night about myself and it reminded me a lot of our conversation the morning after Halloween. And what jooheon said about sharing struggles. I've spent the last two days thinking about a lot of things, and I realized that I don't need to hide it anymore. Those struggles and how I deal with them are what make me innately myself. And there's always room for improvement."

Minghao didn't know what to say, so he just smiled at you, happy with the turn of the conversation.

"So." He said after a long moment. "Chicken and beer? Veg out and watch some Gilmore Girls?"

"Yes to chicken and beer, no to Gilmore Girls "

"What? No Gilmore Girls? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, dipshit. Mingyu will kill me if I start season four without him."

"Ugh, fine. How about chicken, beer and John Wick?"

"Oh hell yeah! You order the food and I'll clean up."

"Just leave it, we can finish it later."

{Thirty Five}

#svt #seventeen #fic #series #scenario #minghao #shownu #monsta x #last house #last house on the left #jos corner of the world #34

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ubernoxa · 4 years

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The Token: A GNR FanFic

Chapter 3: You’re Insane

(Masterlist)

Story Summary: Story inspired by the movie She’s the Man. A female Duff is tired of dealing with the bullshit of trying to make it on the strip as a female bassist.

Chapter Summary: Betsie confront Michelle aka Duff about how stupid her plan is. Michelle realizes that keeping up the charade might be harder than she originally thought

Taglist: @smokeandmirrorz

“Are you fucking insane,” I looked up into the bathroom mirror to see Betsie standing behind me. She knew who I was no doubt about it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied before drying my hands.

“Give it a break Michelle, I locked the bathroom door, so it’s just you and me in here. You don’t need to keep up the act,” it was clear that Betsie had seen right through my act, but here was no way I was admitting it.

“Michelle?” I continued my charade hoping she would leave.

“Don’t play dumb bitch, I know your eyes! Don’t forget I’m the one who would do all of your eye makeup when you were apart of Pixie,” she shot back while I remained silent staring her down. Maybe if I don’t talk, she would leave?

“Oh fuck this,” it was in the moment that Betsie jumped towards me and placed her hand on my fake dick.

“Is that a sausage,” I pushed her off of my before he could continue messing with it.

“Well yeah, I’m a guy so I have a dick,” I replied trying to keep it nonchalant. Spoiler, I was failing. I wasn’t ready for someone to lunge at me and grab it.

“Jesus fucking Christ Michelle, I know it’s not real because it’s currently sliding down your leg,” she shouted back. For the first time all night I was glad that the music was loud.

It was there in the bathroom that I admitted my defeat and pulled my pants down to fix my sausage that was currently sitting at my knee.

“Didn’t know you were so religious,” was the only comment I could muster as I fixed myself. There was something wrong with adjust my sausage in front of Betsie, and by something I meant everything.

“Cut the crap, what the hell are you doing?”

“I’m dressing as a guy to join a band. After I ‘left’ Pixie six months back I’ve been apart of 5 bands. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of being treated different than any other male bassist ....People don’t take female musicians seriously, you know that. I just don’t understand why they treat me differently. I’m just a musician no different than them.......this was actually Walter’s idea,” by now the two of us were sitting on the countertop talking.

“He seriously recommended you to do this?”

“Why? You don’t think he would recommend it?” I quickly shot back earning a giggle from Betsie.

“I would pray he wouldn’t. He the most sane out of the three of you,” without thinking I let out a quiet snort.

“I like to think I’m pretty sane,” I teased back causing laughter to fill the bathroom.

“What?” I quickly questioned only earning more laughter from Betsie.

“You? Sane? You have a sausage taped to your fucking thigh! Sane people don’t do that,” she gestured towards the sausage.

“He meant it as a joke, but it actually worked. It was the easiest band audition I’ve ever had. We didn’t play music until like two to three hours into it. It’s different you know. Being a boy musician versus being a girl. I feel like I’m actually apart of the band, not just the token girl. They weren’t dicks when I started playing, and we just had fun!” I sent Betsie a warm smile to only receive a frown.

“You know this is wrong..right? This won’t work! I get you’re able to hide your boobs and shit, but they will find out one day. This is going to blow up in your face, and you won’t recover from it. Enjoy it while it lasts, but one day you’re going to slip up. Everything you’ve worked for will disappear, and you will forever be known as the girl who dressed as a guy to get in a band. Guys will hate you because you pretended to be one of them...they’ll probably think it’s weird as fuck. The girls though..we will never forgive you. You’re betraying all of us. You’re sending the message that a girl can’t make it unless she is a guy,” I immediately cut her off.

“I’m showing the guys that I’m just as good, maybe even better than them. I can play the drums, guitar, and bass, but you don’t see ANYONE coming and knocking on my door asking me to join their band. You wanna preach how I’m betraying girls everywhere? You wanna bring up how I’m not ‘loyal’ to the other female musicians on the strip? Take a moment to look in the damn mirror, and think about what you and Pixie did to me when I was forced to leave the group,” before I could continue, it was her turn to interrupt me.

“We didn’t force you...”

“Oh really? Don’t get on that bull shit! You kicked me out and then spread shit about me. Do you know what it’s like when you show up to an audition and everyone thinks you’re a whore? Do you know how differently guys treat you? Pixie destroyed my reputation with the bullshit lies y’all spread. Don’t you dare give me crap about how I’m betraying the girls of the strip. Y’all betrayed me a long time ago,” I shot back. Silence filled the bathroom as neither one of us was going to break eye contact.

“You can’t just throw us all in a group and blame me for what was said about you too!” Before she could continue, I interrupted her again absolutely don’t with her bull shit.

“When you sat quietly and did nothing while they spread those rumors about me, that’s when we stopped being friends. Actions speak louder than words. Your action of doing nothing spoke volumes,” I shot back.

“They would have kicked me out of Pixie, Michelle.”

“Oh shit! They would have kicked you out of the band? Pixie has never done that before! That sounds terrible...so sorry to hear,” I sarcastically replied. I wasn’t bitter, I was pissed.

“I don’t give a damn what you think of me. All I want to do is to play my bass. I want to do what I fucking love, no matter the cost,” I added breaking the silence.

Betsie nodded her head before she headed towards the door. It must have been clear to her that there was no way she could talk any sense into me that would result in me changing my mind. Before she left, she turned to me and asked, “What are you going to do if you actually make it big? You know you can’t keep this charade up forever.”

I didn’t answer. Not out of stubbornness, but because I didn’t have an answer. The truth was that I had no fucking idea.

“Just promise me you won’t forget who Michelle is,” with that final statement she left me alone in the bathroom as I pondered what the fuck just happened.

After carefully splashing some water on my face and trying to calm myself down, I was left with one question. Could I trust Betsie with my secret? As I stared myself down in the mirror, still not used to my own reflection, the answer was yes. Not because I trusted her or knew she would never betray me or some shit like that. The answer was yes because that was the only answer. I had to keep the charade going. I had to keep being Duff.

————————-

I stood in my uncle’s coffee shop sporting a brown wig as I took orders from the next customer.

The wig was rather annoying and created several problems for me during my work shift. The first was that you could tell it was a wig by the fake hairline, so I had to wear a hat at all times. The second propblem was that it was hot as hell under that wig and my head was sweating like no tomorrow. The third was that I could only pull it back in a low lose pony which sadly was the hairstyle I spotted throughout middle school. Also known as the highly debatable worst years of my life, but who know that might soon change. It all depends on if Betsie opens her big fat mouth about me dressing up as Duff.

“Did you do something to your hair Mic? It looks different?” I perked up at my Uncle’s words.

“Just dyed it. I was tired of the old color and Macy offered to do it for free,” in my defense it wasn’t a complete lie, so he shrugged it off and went back to his office to work.

“What did you really do to your hair?” My coworker Derek quizzed once my uncle left.

“Dyed it a color he wouldn’t approve of,” I answered the questions just like I practiced with Macy maybe it wouldn’t be too hard.

“Ohh how very punk rocker of you. The wig looks realistic thought, where’d you get it?”

“Stripper friend of Macy. How’d you know it was fake?”

“I saw you take you hat off to scratch you head. The hairline is a dead giveaway. Don’t worry your secret is safe with me,” he whispered before heading to the back room to do inventory.

I peeked up at the sound of the door creeping open. Great, just what I needed. I watched as Axl and Izzy cautiously walked into the small coffee shop.

I was thrown for a loop as I watched them get in line behind an older woman who was a frequent customer who seemed to be holding her purse a little bit tighter than she was moments ago.

“Be careful of those two boys behind me. I think they’re up to no good,” I smiled at the older woman and promised that I would make sure everything was going to be okay. I looked around the room and like clockwork my uncle offered to make her order. There was no doubt in my mind that he had a crush on her

“Can I help the next customer please?” I put on a fake smile as Axl and Izzy stepped forward.

“Is this a joke?” I crossed my arms as the pair stood in front of me.

“What I’m not aloud coffee?” Axl protested as he seemed determined to keep up the charade.

“Only paying customers are aloud it,” I turned to Izzy before continuing, “What are you here for?”

“Did you dye your hair? It looks different,” I took a deep breath as I nodded my head. There was no way Izzy knew I was wearing a wig.

“Yeah, Macy offered to dye it, so I thought why not. I could use the change. Now cut the small talk, why are you here?”

“We’re looking for Duff, thought you might know where to find him,” Axl admitted after a couple seconds of silence. It was weird seeing him cooperative.

“Yeah, I know where to find him. I live with him. What’s up? You kicking out of the band or some shit?”

“No, he’s one of the best bassists we have had in our band. We have a gig coming up and we wanted to tell him our new practice schedule,” Axl continued before he handed me a piece of paper. I bit my tongue hard at his comment. Interesting on how yesterday he said Michelle was only mediocre.

“Does he have a job?” Izzy’s words pulled my attention from Axl. I didn’t know why, but he was staring me down. I didn’t like it, not one but.

“Yeah, works for Walter’s father. Walter was nice enough to get him a job so he could feed himself,” I was rather proud of how casually I was able to respond with another rehearsed lie.

Izzy remained speechless, but nodded his head. By the way he was staring my down I thought he was trying to look into my soul or some shit like that. Long story short, I felt uncomfortable.

“Will he be able to make these practice times?” Axl asked breaking the awkward tension between Izzy and me.

“From what I’ve heard, he will be working mornings, but I don’t know if that is his entire schedule,” I shrugged back. I was relieved to see that the practices were all in the afternoon which worked perfectly with my work schedule.

“Practice starts tomorrow, so just have him stop by. He knows the address,” Axl and Izzy began to walked towards the door, but before they left Izzy stopped.

My heart sank as he turned around and walked back towards the counter. Luckily I was just cleaning and there wasn’t another customer.

“Do you have a pen and paper?” I raised a brow at his question.

“Yeah,” I calmly replied curious to see what he was up to.

“Don’t worry, it’s just our number so Duff can call us if he can’t make the rehearsal,” Izzy said as he seem to write a lot more than a phone number on the paper.

“See ya,” Izzy said before hurrying to join Axl who was still receiving several glares from customers.

Once they left, I opened the note which caused my heart to sink.

Duff,

Below is our number if you can’t make it to practice.

*insert number here*

- Iz

Also, blonde was a good choice Michelle, brings out the color in your eyes.

Fuck. He knew.

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rebelcap · 4 years

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We are not just friends —Part 13

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she's brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy, lots of fucking (eventually)

This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally.

Series masterlist

Quiet. Sofia was been awfully quiet for the those two days, Chris had tried to contact her even had gone to her place before he went back to LA. she was nowhere to be found and had purposefully left her phone back at her place.

"What happened?" Mandy asked and Chris just felt guilty.

"I cornered her to tell me shit, you know Sofia."

"Ah, shit," Amanda said as she was holding Sofia's phone. She could see all the missed calls from Chris. "Just, give her some time man. She needs time to cool off."

"Yeah, I guess." He sighed and sat down on the couch. "You know where she might be?"

"Not really, she's like my sister but when she's like this, she likes to be left alone. She'll come around,"

"I'm just worried," Chris tell her.

"I know," Mandy sat down beside her.

"Well keep an eye on her, bro. Don't worry," Luke said putting a hand on his shoulder. Amanda had to ask because this was her sister.

"You serious about her?" She asked, "because she had been having serious doubts about it, not going to explain the whole thing because that's between you two. But, I need you to be super honest with me because she's my family and I can let you use her."

"Yeah, Mandy," He said looking down at his hands. "I'm falling in love with her, fuck. I think I'm already in love with her," His eyes gloss over. "I don't want to hurt her but she keeps pushing me away. "

"Loving Sofia is tough, she's worth it because her heart is made of fucking gold."

"Yeah, I know," Chris explained and Mandy wraps one arm around his and laid her head on his shoulder, comforting him. "I feel like she doesn't trust me enough or don't feel safe enough and fucking breaks my heart. I wanna be there for her and she doesn't let me." Chris put a hand on his face, he was feeling useless, rejected, and heartbroken.

"Yeah, that's her, not letting people in all the way… but she cares about you, a lot. Because I know her like the back of my hand." Amanda said rubbing his back and Chris sniffle nodding. "All that I can say is that just give her some time, let her process it for a while. Just keep reaching out to her, let her know what you just said to me," Chris nod and took it to heart.

She did reach out eventually, four days later with a text.

Hey, Chris… I'm sorry I lash out. I don't wanna be trouble for you and I'm most definitely not worth it, I don't wanna slow you down with my bullshit. Just, I'm sorry. Take care, sweet face.

Sof, can I call you?

I don't wanna talk, Chris. I'm giving you a way out men, no hard feelings but it's better if we are friends, if you're cool with it.

Chris was between filming and was about to be called to set. "Fuck, fuck." He muttered and quickly typed on his phone.

I'm about to head to set but, please. Please let me call you after, I can't end this like this.

It's better this way, good luck with filming.

There was a knock in his trailer and he had to leave," Fuck. "

~~~

It's been two whole months, Sofia was been quiet about the whole thing. She was excited for Mandy's baby, her engagement, and the cookout with all their families at Amanda home. Everything was going so well around her, that sometimes she couldn't keep up and had been isolated herself.

In those moments she was sitting on the couch looking at everything is when it hit her, hard. How much she missed Chris. His company, his stupid jokes unknowingly help her out when this happened.

"Why the face? my sweet girl." Amanda's mom, Alice, sat down beside her and she just smiles.

"I'm just looking at everything, I'm so happy ma," Sofia said holding down her tears, forcing out a smile but Alice saw through her.

"I know there's a lot of changes coming up, I know this affects you," She said and Sofia broke down. "we always love you, Sofia. You're like my daughter, the only one that's always been here firm by our side,"

"I know, ma. And I thank you for this, you and Tony helped me change my life around. I'm gonna be forever grateful with you for that, it's just hard sometimes." She sobbed and quickly wipe her tears.

"I know, sweetheart. I know," She wraps and around her and hold her close. "I know that you let go of someone important too,"

"Ma, come on," She sniffles. "It's better that way, too much trouble. Look at me, I'm crying because my best friend it's finally forming a beautiful family and I'm scared to be left out, I mean who does that?" She shrugged and bite her lip. "I'm a mess, Chris doesn't need that."

"If he's men enough he's going to love you through all this, you're not a mess. You're a brilliant woman, don't sell yourself short." Alice wipes the tears from her face. "And nobody it's leaving you out. We are your family,"

Sofía managed to smile.

"Thank you, ma."

~~~

"Hey, thanks for inviting me here tonight, I really needed this," Sofia said holding out her drink as he smiles at Scott, who had invited her along with his friends gay night out. "I haven't been too much invested in the community and everyone I know is straight," She laughed.

"Tell me about it, the only gay kid on the family. I got you, honey. We are so going to hang out more every time I'm here," Scott said and she smiles.

Scott, it's a great and welcome addition to Sofia little tight circle of friends, downside it's that all she was thinking is Chris, Chris, and Chris.

" You can ask, I know you're dying to ask me about it. " She said after a while and Scott almost fell over his chair and she was laughing her ass off.

"Okay so, you broke my brother's heart," Scott said nonchalantly

"What?" Sofia almost chokes on her drink.

"Witch it's been a while, like a whole decade since someone does that, and I know you're super rad. And I can see why he's all over that," He said panning out her with his hand. "why he's in love with you."

"What!?" Sofia felt her stomach twist in knots as Scott talked about that. Fuck, in love? "What the fuck? is he insane? all the girls and he—ugh, he's an idiot."

"Yeah, probably," Scott laughed. "Come on, you're a pretty charming girl, independent, actually don't give a shit about who he is, you love Chris, the Boston idiot Chris not the Hollywood Chris, you see him for who he is—

"Yeah, an idiot. He's in love with me? Jesus Christ."

"And that way he loves you, you're the first woman ever, since weirdo Jessica Biel,"

"I read she's an anti-baxxer?"

"I know right, fucking dodge a bullet there. Besides her being a cheater—

" Did she cheat on my boy Chris? "

" With fucking Justin Timberlake. "

" Ew, "

" Totally, anyways, " He waves a handoff and looked at her." You two need to talk."

" We did, I told him that it was better this way, which it is. Because as you can see I am a mess walking. I was falling for him, pretty hard and fast… "

" Well, he had been in love with you quite a while, my mother loves you by the way and so my sisters,"

" He speaks about me? "

" All the time, when those pictures of you and him leak out he was freaking out, worried about you and your privacy but you keep saying that it was okay, "

"Because it is, Scott. At first, it was a little overwhelmed, people mostly said nice things and people gonna hate. Chris is totally worth whatever they're gonna say. " Sofia explained and drank the rest of her beer. " I don't care, let them talk."

"Girl, you care about him," Scott said and lean on her making her laugh. "You two made me sad,"

"It's me, I swear it's me," Sofia said groaning and flank the bartender. "I'm the stupid one, fuck." She ordered them a couple of shots. "I fucked up, but he deserves better than my stupid ass."

"Hey, I don't know you that well," Scott said and she looked at him. "but I like you, I do think you're good for my brother. You two just need to work it up,"

"It's not that easy," Sofia said downing the shots on one go.

~~~~

I'm sad now

Tag list:

@smediumsmeatbae

@lunaticbarnes

@firstangeldragonranch

@lovepeacefood

@thegirlwithpaperheart

#chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x latina!#chris evans x poc!reader #chris evans fluff #chris evans x ofc #chris evans x reader #Chris Evans x brown reader #chris evans x original female character #Chris Evans angst

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gazebobullshit · 4 years

Text

tell me when

pairing: eddie kaspbrak/richie tozier ( reddie ) rating: teen ( for language ) word count: 2284 summary: Richie and Eddie spend a night in, Eddie asks some important questions. gift for: Christine ( ladystvrk ) for the @it-fandom-exchange ao3 link: here

“Alright, alright Trashmouth!” Eddie’s hands are up, half empty beer dangling from his right. “If you were so sure, then when did you know?”

Richie snorted, his own beer nestled in his lap. “Are you seriously asking me when I realized I had a crush on you?”

“Yeah, well-” Eddie opened his arms out in a challenge, face flushed from the drinks he’s already had that night. “You keep saying since we were kids and I’m calling bullshit.”

Richie can’t help but laugh at that, elbow resting on his knee and body leaning forward to support his chin on his open palm. “I know. Hard to believe that I, Derry’s number one pussy slayer, was in fact very gay for one Mr. Edward Kaspbrak.”

“Please. The closest you’ve been to a naked woman is Bev in her underwear.”

“Ouch Eds.” He pointed with his free hand, “I mean you’re not wrong, but- ouch.”

“C’mon. I’m serious.” Eddie straightened his legs out on the floor, enough to bump his socked foot against Richie’s knee. “When did you know? And be real with me Tozier, no jokes.”

“Fuck. If I’d have known we’d be playing twenty questions tonight I’d have vetoed the booze.” He straightened, hands pressing against his face, pushing his glasses up into his hairline. He could feel Eddie tapping at his knee with impatience and he grumbled low in his throat as a response. Hands dropping enough to let his glasses slide ( somewhat ) back into place. Just enough for him to glare at Eddie over the tops of his fingers. “Give me a goddamn minute. We only got these memories back like four months ago.”

“Bullshit. You’re fucking stalling.”

“So what the fuck if I am? It’s embarrassing.”

“Please Rich. I want to knoooow.”

Richie might have found it amusing, even borderline adorable, that tipsy Eddie got whiny. His cheeks flushed as he took another sip of his drink, shooting Richie a look that’d put the puppies in those adoption commercials to shame.He looked so comfortable, and far more at ease than Richie thinks he’s ever seen him, even back when they were kids.

“Okay. Okay. Just- don’t fucking laugh at me.”

“Absolutely no promises, but continue.”

That earned Eddie a middle finger, which got Richie double the response back.

Richie settled back against his couch, head tilting up towards the ceiling. He knew of course, how far back the crush went. Maybe not the exact date and time when he’d realized it, but he did know a vague enough answer.

“Well, there’s that summer.” And sure, saying it like that’s kind of vague, but they all know what ‘that summer’ usually refers to. Sweet summer of ‘89 with its clown bullshit. “I was kind of ignoring it until then.”

“The crush or the-”

“Both.” Richie shrugged, nail scraping at the label on his beer. “Figured if I just never shut up about how much tail I was getting on the reg’ people wouldn’t notice, you know? Or I dunno, fake it till you make it, I guess.” He flinched, letting his head fall forward again but keeping his eyes squarely off of Eddie’s face. “It took Bowers being an asshole and the clown chasing me through Bassey as that fuck ugly lumberjack for me to think, ‘Hey dickhead. Maybe this is a thing.’”

“So, what? When we were thirteen? That tracks I guess. You were extra annoying that year.” Richie might not have been looking at him, but he could hear the expression on Eddie’s face. That frown of consideration that made the wrinkle between his brows more prominent. “Still not seeing the whole crush on me thing.”

“Eh, I’m getting there.” He exhaled, shifting where he sat, lifting his beer to take another big sip. When the bottle was back in his lap he let his gaze drift, spacing out somewhere in the general area above Eddie’s head. This memory, unlike some of his others, was crystal clear and distinct. The very first one to hit him when he’d walked into the Jade and set eyes on Eddie for the first time. It was almost...too much to look at. The colors are too vibrant, the feel of the wood assaults the nerves at the end of his fingertips. He got a splinter that day and he can feel it now, like it’s been digging itself under his fingernail for the past twenty-seven years. It takes him a minute to wade through all of that to find his words again. “Remember the Kissing Bridge?”

“Of course. Isn’t that where Bowers got Ben the day we met him.”

Richie winces, and nods. “Yep.” He pops the ‘p’ on that, “Well, I didn’t go there to carve up new kids like Thanksgiving turkeys. Call me old-fashioned but I kind of prefered the original purpose.”

“Oh God. Don’t tell me. You fucking didn’t.”

“Oh yeah.”

“Oh my God Rich.” Eddie snorted, “What the fuck.”

Richie finally let his gaze drop to Eddie’s face only to find Eddie trying to muffle his laughter with the palms of his hands.

“Hey! I told you this was fucking embarassing!”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think- Jesus Christ Richie, the Kissing Bridge? Are you serious? You can’t be fucking serious.”

“Fuck you.” He pointed a finger at Eddie, wagging it in the air between them. He’s trying to be serious but the grin on his face and the laughter in his voice is giving him away. “I thought it was fucking romantic, and it wasn’t like I was about to confess my undying love for your hyperactive ass.”

“You’ve gotta be bullshitting me. There’s no fucking way. Nope. I don’t believe it.” Eddie’s head is shaking, and he’s leaning back on his hands. “You know I’m not about to step foot in that town again to check.”

“Hah, but that’s where you’re mistaken. You don’t have to do shit. I took a picture.”

“Bullshit.”

“Get ready to eat your words Kaspbrak.” Despite himself he was grinning as he shifted to pull his phone from his back pocket. Thumbing quickly to clear the screen of the avalanche of twitter notifications and angry messages from his manager. Pulling up his camera roll he pulled up the snapshot he’d taken of the Kissing Bridge just before he’d left town, his old carving done up fresh and standing stark against the wood. “Read it and weep, bitch.”

Tipsy Eddie did not have the sort of hand eye coordination necessary to catch a phone but Richie tossed it anyway. Then laughed as the other man fumbled not to drop it before it flopped face down on his lap. Once he could actually look at his screen, Richie watched as his eyebrows did some complicated gymnastics routine on the upper part of his face, mouth turning down in a frown.

“I can’t believe you’re serious.” He squinted, fingers moving to expand the picture, before he glanced back up. “This shit looks too fresh to be from 1989.”

“Recarved it.”

“You’re joking.”

“Nope.” He brought his beer back up to his lips, drinking the last of what was left in one quick gulp. Tongue dragging out to lick his lips before continuing. “You almost died-”

“But I didn’t.”

“Right, but you didn’t.” He shrugged, “I don’t know, it just felt cathartic. I thought maybe if I carved it again I could just leave all those feelings there. Put them to rest.” He gestured between them vaguely, “I didn’t think- I mean, I had every intention of keeping it to myself for the rest of forever.” He never once thought he’d be here, with Eddie. That talking about all this shit would be so easy, embarrassing sure, but easy nonetheless. Because Eddie knew and Eddie was here, and despite everything Richie woke up with the man of his dreams half tucked under his side.

Eddie was back to staring at the picture, only this time his face was all pinched in thought. “So that’s when you knew? When we were thirteen.”

Richie moved, stretching to put his bottle on the coffee table, before settling back in his spot. “That’s when I accepted it. Realizing it was a lot more fucking embarrassing.”

Eddie looked skeptical. “More embarrassing than carving our initials on Derry’s horny make-out spot?”

“Remember the day we met?”

“No! Richie- Richie we were six years old! No fucking way.”

“I told you this shit was embarrassing!”

“You were not in fucking love with me when we were six.”

“Hey! You’re the one holding my phone. Go ahead, dial my mom, ask her! I swear on Ben’s perfect abs I told her I’d marry you the second she picked me up from daycare.”

“I’m not- Richie it’s like 3 in the fucking morning where they are. No.”

“Then you gotta take my word for it.” He lifted his hands, palms up towards the ceiling. “Your mom dropped you off and you looked so mad about it. I thought you were one of those kids who bursts out crying the second their parents left them alone, but nope! You were just pissed because everything was a mess.” He laughed, and this memory- this memory wasn’t like the other one. It was faded and delicate. When Richie picked it up he felt like he had to be careful or he’d risk tearing it apart, like an old piece of film. Bits and pieces shone through well enough, the things that he’d always liked about Eddie since the start. His loud, fast voice, and animated hand gestures. The way his fanny pack looked too big and cumbersome, especially back then when he was nothing but tiny hips and twiggy legs.

The way he’d looked at Richie like he found everything he did physically repulsive, and yet didn’t pull away. Instead he’d clambered all over him, manhandled him into obedience so he could apply brightly colored bandages to the scrapes and bruises on Richie’s knees. All while yelling about cooties and calling him a dummy.

He expected to hear Eddie laughing, but when he looked up, he was looking at Richie’s phone, thumb pressed lightly to the screen.

“Eds? Spaghetti?”

“Don’t call me that.” Absent and automatic, without bothering to look up.

“Which one?”

“Both, dipshit.” One eyebrow arching up as their gazes finally met for a moment, before Eddie was taking his beer and downing the last of it in a series of furious gulps.

Exhaling, he set the empty bottle down next to Richie’s, and held the phone out. Not like he was handing it back, but so that Richie could see the screen. The picture had been shifted, zoomed in a little off to the side to show a different part of the screen. Another carving, faded with time but still visible.

R, with a heart around it.

“Eddie…”

“For the record. It was that summer for me too.” When their eyes met over the phone Eddie’s were intense and focused. No signs of the alcohol in his system, though he was breathing a little harder. “You told me to look at you. You kept telling me to look at you instead.”

They both swallowed, not really wanting to relive that moment, but finding it bursting through their defenses unbidden anyway. For Eddie it was the way the clown’s hand had felt on his face, the pain of his broken arm, and the smell of rancid breath washing over him. For Richie it was hearing Eddie scream, seeing the clown standing over him with drool dripping from IT’s jaws.

Then it was just the two of them. Richie’s hands on Eddie’s face, his voice yelling at him to look away. Just like it was the two of them right now, only instead of chaos and children screaming, the world was quiet, like it was holding its breath.

“I can’t believe you gave me shit. You’re just as big a sap as I am.” Richie’s voice sounded hoarse to his own ears.

Eddie just smiled, pushing up onto his knees so he could close the distance between them. Dropping Richie’s phone in his lap, before lifting that same hand to tilt up Richie’s chin. “You’d probably think I was body snatched if I didn’t give you shit, admit it.”

“Touche.”

Eddie’s head lowered, Richie could taste the beer on his breath and it made him feel drunker than any of the alcohol he’d had that night. Light-headed and wanting. Head tilting to the side to accommodate the kiss he felt like he’d die without.

“One more question.”

“Jesus Christ, Kaspbrak. You’re going to kill me.” He groaned, letting his head fall back against the couch. This close he could feel Eddie’s laughter like the rumble of a distant thunderstorm vibrating the air between their bodies.

“Do you still love me?”

Richie’s head snaps back up slightly, one eyebrow trying valiantly to reach his hairline. His hands had settled on Eddie’s waist, but now he let them slip down the rough fabric of his jeans. Giving him a brief pat on the ass, before he hooked the back of his thighs and guided Eddie into his lap. “Eddie my love, that is the stupidest question I’ve ever heard.”

“That’s not an ans-”

Richie can only hope that the kiss they share, just like every kiss that came before and all the ones he prays are still to come, will be answer enough. When they pull apart it’s with Eddie’s hands cradling his face, and a dopey smile slowly spreading across Richie’s features. “I love you Eddie Kaspbrak.”

Eddie beams, actually beams, and Richie feels his heart stutter. “I love you too Richie Tozier.”

“Sap.”

“Oh fuck off, Trashmouth.”

#reddie #reddie fic #my writing #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #( in this universe and all others / fanfic. )#( gifts for others. )

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