#completely harmless

[rambler-in-limbo]

how did Whupeh steal Peppino's rolling pin?

Like so.

[shadowjimbo4]

random reminder that centipedes are completely harmless and are the cows of the insectoid world

[mrslittletall]

Some people really are not happy when they don't throw a temper tantrum every few minutes, huh...

[vonplundercat]

I have decided to officially retire from drawing Monster Pinups and move on to exclusively drawing Confectionery with Vauguely Threatening Auras.⁠

[proto-geo]

look at this extremely ominous ad on my feed that doesn't even name a product or company

[sysig]

Chewtoy (Patreon)

[larsnicklas]

"you touch either 9 or 19 and the other one's gonna come flying in." + bonus: matthew cannot and will not stop yapping...

[goobygnarp]

i saw the most fuck ass house centipede in my bathroom last night like I was in some horror film.

here i am, taking a witching hour piss, I get ready to leave and look at the mirror hanging on the door. look at my face to see if anything is growing, ya know, facial hair.

and what do i see at the corner of my eye? some anomaly lined across the shower curtain wall but a FUCK ASS HOUSE CENTIPEDE.

and i don't mean some small boy minding his business, I can tip my hat to those fine lads, but the devil was out for me that night.

call me a believer i couldn't keep her if I tried, but I believe when YouTubers say don't do shit at 3 am,

DON'T PISS AT 3 AM!!?!?!

cause this boy was over my head the entire time I was wizzin and I never noticed.

the way I turned my head back like i owed this guy money and he finally found my tax-evading ass, how I faced the guy while I backed out of the bathroom, eyes trained on him like some weeping angel mess in lethal company, my hands feeling up the wall like we were making out while I searched for the light and fan switch.

i aint pissing at 3 am again.

[camelspit]

my biggest hope for the next book is that maruca actually gets to use her power without gisela going "oh ho ho! youre doing exactly what i want you to do >:) youve fallen right into my trap"

[thinkingabout-girls]

i love lying on the internet

[weepylucifer]

When i started disco elysium i thought, well, obviously Kim is normal and regular (I would later be proven wrong), so his clothes must be what regular cops wear in disco elysium world. But then we see other cops and they’re wearing like... black suits. Uniforms. And THEN it turns out that what Kim is actually doing is closet-cosplaying as a pilot of an airforce that doesn’t exist anymore. This is like if someone came to work in complete Civil War reenactment costume. Why does he do this? Because he just wants to i Guess

[fjordfolk]

Cant want for this person to realise that breeders also make others people's dogs, rear them, and lay experiential foundations that will follow them for the rest of their lives

[ruthlesslistener]

Why are primal aspids so cute but so Evil :(

Typical logical fallacy of cuteness = goodness applies to them as well. Same universal operating principle that dictates that bunnies (universally viewed as adorable) are capable of giving you lifelong scars simply out of spite, but tailless whip scorpions (typically viewed as the devil on earth) are incapable of so much as inflicting a minuta of pain unto you, even if they willed it (which they don't)

[actualbird]

apropos of nothing, but i suddenly remembered this baffling encounter i had with acupuncture back when i was in college. my mom got acupuncture and it helped her quit smoking (which, yay! whatever works, works!) and then she made me go to try to see if it'd cure a neurological condition i have (which uh, im neither here nor there over alternative medicine and whatnot but in her defense, i had had countless inconclusive diagnostic tests abt this condition so she was very much grasping at straws here for anything that would help me) and since im a good boy who follows what his mother says, i said "okay" and it was a pretty alright experience. i was and am currently still not very squeamish with needles so it didnt bother me very much. if anything, i just took the weekly acupuncture sessions as an hour to nap (with needles in me). but then one day, one of the needles (that went into my abdomen) had a....thingy at the end of it. it looked like a large-ish cork thingy balancing atop of the needle. and i was like "huh, what is that?" but i didnt say it out loud because of my debilitating anxiety and worry and i didnt wanna come off as the weird guy who asks too many questions at the acupuncturist. so i didnt ask. and the acupuncture guy thusly did not explain.

then he set the thingy on fire. and then he left the room.

i dont know about you, but in general i was taught that fires should not be left unattended. that goes for normal fires, but this was a fire lit perilously at the end of a needle sticking out of my abdomen. i guess i was the person attending to the fire, but like, i couldnt move. because of needles in me. it was a harrowing hour. i could not nap. there was an on fire thingy connected to my body. i spent a whole hour laying down alone with my thoughts and also with a small on fire thingy as company.

theres no moral to this story, it's just one of those things that made me go "hey what was that all about" but i never asked because i dont wanna be the weird guy whos not cool with fire needles

[pendinganchor]

why do antis think it went:

- steve lies

- billy breaks a plate over steve’s head

when it actually went:

- billy gets smacked around, called a slur, then threatened all by his father because max ran off on his watch

- billy had to drive all around town to track down where she is, while he’s supposed to be on a date

- max sets the tone by saying “he can’t know i’m here. he’ll kill me. he’ll kills us.” (which babe way dramatic jfc)

- steve (a borderline 18 year old) lies about the whereabouts of max (a 13 year old) to her stepbrother. he also lies about even knowing who she is!!!

- billy calls him out for lying

- steve says “oh shit”

- billy sends steve to the ground for being weird

- flirting

- billy goes inside

- billy sees that not only was max with steve but three other boys as well (boys that billy has only ever seen making max upset)

- billy sets his sights on lucas who he already told max to stay away from (we can talk all about the racist undertones of this interaction but that’s not what this post is about)

- billy pushes lucas and tells him to stay away from max

- lucas kicks billy (rightfully so tbh)

- billy makes a threat that 100% was not serious (you think he would actually kill a child? be fr)

- steve punches billy

- billy’s reaction to steve punching him is laughing (LAUGHING but we don’t have time to unpack allll of that)

- more flirting

- billy swings at and misses steve

- steve punches billy again

- steve punches billy a third time while the kids cheer him on

- billy is still laughing

- steve punches billy a fourth time and backs him into a corner

- like mother like son billy breaks a plate over steve’s head

- the fight turns and now steve is getting his shit rocked

- max stabs billy IN THE NECK with a syringe with an unknown substance in it (this easily could have killed him)

- max threatens billy

[zevranunderstander]

the one thing I always think of when I think back to dragon age is the dialogue you can have with zevran in dao that triggers when you decide to leave all mages to die a horrible death in the circle? the way that he completely starts questioning your authority, explaining to you that you are an atrocious person for doing this and thinking like this and especially that this is the one time trying to flirt with him backfires completely because he calls you a fucked-up manipulator for it? like i love that so much because he not once stands up for HIMSELF in dao, he's very passive to what happens to him, but in this moment he decides to throw away any dignity he has and BEGS for these people's lives - he doesn't know ANY of these people, but he is the only one who stands up for them out of all companions you can bring along (some do actually protest your choice a bit and you might lose some friendship points but NOTHING like the conversation with zevran)

anyway yeah he's my favorite character