#complicated feeling

[battlegroundofdreams]

6

Chapter 5

Morpheus goes looking for answers...

Frustrated at being stopped from going inside the Dream Ward, Morpheus pulled his communicator out from the inside pocket of his jacket and tried to get ahold of Melinoe.  There was no answer.  He did not leave a message.  He tried sending her a text communication, and kept his communicator in his hand as he paced the hallway waiting for an answer.  The only issue was, there was no answer coming.  After what felt like too long to Morpheus, he tried calling her again.  When he once more got her voicemail, this time he left a message asking her to call him immediately.  Then once more sent her a text communication.  The longer it went without hearing from her, the more he was convinced she was on the Dream Ward, and that the only way he was going to get answers was to get past that guard, one way or another.  He just had to figure out how.

One hour, two, three…the time stretched on with messages left for Melinoe, Krios, and Andromeda.  None of them were returned.  This only served to cause Morpheus’ anger level to rise and his teeth to grind.  The guard at the door seemed to be keeping his hand on his weapon more when Morpheus was on the leg of his pacing where he was stalking down towards that end of the hallway.  Morpheus couldn’t really blame him, he really did want to bounce him off the walls and strangle him until he got answers.

Sometime in hour four, Morpheus had an idea.  Slapping his badge against the pad outside the elevator, he called one and went to the Medical Ward.  If he couldn’t get an answer from the Dream Ward, there was one other person who might have an idea what was going on with Melinoe on the Dream Ward.  While the Dream Assassin that they had on the gurney had been badly injured, nothing had looked fatal.  Hopefully she would be awake and able to give him some answers.  His rank and years on in should get him some answers before anyone started answering questions.

*****

“Agent Morpheus,” he flashed his badge, “I need to speak to the young female agent who was brought up here from the Dream Ward, where is she?”  The look he was giving the nurse was making her shift uncomfortably as she looked up the information.  This was not a friendly request, he was certainly making it look like business.  Good, she wouldn’t feel the need to inform anyone he’d been here either.

“She’s down in room six, sir.  She should be awake now.”  The nurse gave him a nervous smile after conveying the information.  He nodded and headed down the hall.  Hopefully he could at least get some kind of answer now.  If not, things down on the Dream Ward were about to get very damn ugly.

Taking a deep breath, Morpheus rapped his knuckles against the door to the room.  There was a small female voice from inside that told him to enter.  Here went nothing.

The female agent in the bed looked even smaller than when she had been wheeled by.  There were dark circles under her eyes, multiple IV lines, and monitors were hooked up.  She couldn’t have been more than a year out of the Academy, and something had worked her over hard.  She had an angelic face, and looked far too innocent to face some of the things he’d seen over the years.  Morpheus was thankful to the gods that he had not been paired up with an agent like her.  

“Ma’am, I’m Agent Morpheus.  I came to check on you, and see what you could remember about what happened on the Dream Ward that landed you here.  Do you feel well enough to talk?”  He instantly saw the signs of recognition at his name, that was positive.  At least he didn’t have to explain that, which meant his name alone would get him somewhere with her.  This at least was a positive step.

“Yes, sir.  I’m Agent Rua.  I assume my partner, Agent Lorien, is still down on the Ward?  I remember them saying something about Agent Melinoe was going to have to go help him?”  Her eyes scrunched up, brows coming together as she tried to remember.  Everything after coming out of the realm of dreams was hazy.  “I don’t remember much from being on the Ward before they brought me up here, I’m sorry.”  She sighed heavily.

“Ma’am, please relax.  Do not stress yourself out.  There is no need to remember everything at once.”  She’d already told him enough, he now knew where his partner was, but he wanted just a little more information. The poor girl had been through enough, he wasn’t there to put her through more.  He kept being struck how with her big grey eyes and angelic face she looked more like a doll than an agent who should be fighting Nightmares. “Do you remember what happened in the dream where you got hurt?  You came out of the dream, but Lorien didn’t.”  That was the only thing that he could figure out for why Melinoe would have to go in and help him.  That was an unusual case, something he’d only heard murmurings of.  It didn’t give Morpheus a good feeling.

“Yes,sir.  There had been a warning that the pair of Nightmare Assassins that Agent Melinoe had faced on her last mission, the ones that so badly injured her, those…one of them was thought to have survived.  I don’t know how she ever took on two by herself, let alone did enough damage they thought both were dead, but they had. We were told what to look for, Lorien and I even trained for it.  We went through the Academy together and were even friends before that.”  There was a smile and a blush that told Morpheus that at least on Rua’s side there was more than a friendly attraction to Lorien.  It wasn’t his business, but he hoped it didn’t get one of them killed.  Romance was risky in their profession, especially if you were teamed up together.  “But what we faced, sir, it was so intense.  There were demons and dragons all around us.  It was like some fairytale dungeon coming to life and attacking all at once.  Lorien and I were doing good at fending them off, but we weren’t making any headway.  I thought we were going to die.  Then, all of a sudden, I could tell I was out of the dream and there was yelling and screaming,” Rua started to get upset, tears forming in her eyes as she spoke. It was clear that whatever they had faced was terrifying.  Then a sort of calm came over her, “then I felt this comforting presence next to me and heard this calm female voice telling me to relax, that my part of the battle was done.  She would finish the fight.”  She looked up at him, a different type oe tears brimming in her eyes, “she was so calm, sir.  It made me feel relaxed and like it would all work out alright.  She took charge, said she was going to go help Lorien. Then it all got confusing and they wheeled me out.” 

“Thank you, Agent Rua.”  Morpheus inclined his head.  “Please rest and do not worry about your partner.  He is in the very best hands he could be.”  With that he exited the room and headed back to the elevator.  He was going back down to the Dream Ward and he was getting in there if he had to shoot the guard and kick Krios’ ass personally.  What kind of monstrosity were Melinoe and some rookie up against?  He had to agree with Rua, if that is what one of them was like, how in the bloody hell did she come close to defeating two of them on her own?  Her illusions must be damn powerful in dreams.  Hopefully they’d keep her alive till he could get to her.

banner: @cafekitsune

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

License to Kitty.

[bruhstation]

you’re just like the rest of them

[bitchbeast]

I think I was in my teens the last time I went a whole day without eating

[satanicdollx]

they should invent friends that do not live so fucking far

[aueua]

people with siblings: how do you feel about them?

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

[feralforbeanix]

He loved her immediately I'm gonna cry

[shirecorn]

Monsters

Bittersweet Dreams || Perspective || Evil || Fighter

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael and Vanny had wild teen years in FNAF

[notbecauseofvictories]

I'm re-reading the Discworld series for reasons, and honestly the most relatable part of reading these as an adult is how many of the protagonists start out being tired, used to their little routine and vaguely disgruntled by the interruption of the Plot. Sam Vimes wants to lie drunk in a gutter and absolutely doesn't want to be arresting dragons. Rincewind is yanked into every situation he's ever encountered, though he'd much rather be lying in a gutter too. (Minus the alcohol. Plus regretting everything he's ever done said witnessed or even heard about fourth-hand in his whole life.) Granny Weatherwax is deeply suspicious of foreign parts and that includes the next town over; Nanny has leaned into the armor of "nothing ever happens to jolly grannies who terrorize their daughters-in-law and make Saucy Jokes"

Only the young people don't seem to have picked up on this---and that's fortunate, because someone has to run around making things happen, if only so Vimes and Granny and Rincewind have a reason to get up (complaining bitterly the whole time) and put it all to rights. Without Carrot, Margrat, Eric, etc. these characters don't have that reason; they're likely to stay in the metaphorical gutter and keep wondering where it all went wrong or why anything has to change.

............well, that's not quite true. You get the sense that Vetinari knows how much certain people hate the Plot. And as the person sitting behind the metaphorical lighting board of Ankh-Morpork, he takes no small pleasure in forcing the Plot-haters specifically to stand up, and say some lines.

[glacier-shrimp]

Some flowers for you ❤️

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Why self-diagnosed autistics are valid

medical diagnosis can be expensive

humans are the experts on their own minds

family may prevent assessment

diagnosis criteria is a poor checklist of stereotypes

diagnosis criteria ignores gender, race, sexuality, culture & more

medical diagnosis confirms autism, but doesn't create it

discrimination within the medical profession may prevent diagnosis.

Assessment waiting lists often long

medical trauma may make assessment unfeasible

Neurodiverse Journeys

[artkaninchenbau]

People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again

[sunfoxfic]

We were so close to smoking not being cool anymore. We were so close. Then they flavored it mango and now it's taboo to criticize it anymore. People don't ask if they're allowed to vape indoors, they aren't considerate of people who may have health problems that are triggered by the chemicals or if it just bothers them, people don't care that they're supporting an industry built on corruption and greed, they can't see it draining their pockets and much less their health. We were so close to smoking not being cool anymore.

[eeternalferret]

I hate when people get on your back about a ship because it's 'toxic' like bro i said they are in love not that they should be.