#constantly bullied. and even just watching some of my childhood shows/movies and seeing the amount of racist jokes. like i always thought i

[brightokyolights]

...

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

@spanglespants​ said: 

Personally, you are the reason I'm planning on at least one of my fics to include Prof just being out of touch instead of purposefully neglectful to being forgetful. Actually I may redeem him in For a Smeet's Sake' at some point still have not decided how if I do yet. But he did notice something important in the chapter I'm working on. He'll get there.

Personally, you are the reason I'm planning on at least one of my fics to include Prof just being out of touch instead of purposefully neglectful to being forgetful. Actually I may redeem him in For a Smeet's Sake' at some point still have not decided how if I do yet. But he did notice something important in the chapter I'm working on. He'll get there.

Oh lord! That makes me SO HAPPY!

I know that Baddadbrane used to be a more popular take in the fandom. Just cause I feel a lot of people project their parental issues onto him...

But I think what makes Professor Membrane a relatable character for me personally, is that he isn’t intentionally malicious and he makes a lot of mistakes. Some minor, and some huge. 

He’s extremely scatterbrained, neglectful and sometimes he can just say entirely the wrong things.

He misses most social cues and a lot of his traits are very common to someone with autism (aspergers especially, which is why me and @paketdimensioncomic​ made the decision to give him that particular form of autism in our Fics.)

Like me writing Redemption arcs for Membrane and focusing on him as a character study is not me trying to say:

“Oh he’s trying guys... look at the poor suffering dad.. we should forgive him.” 

Like that’s not what I’m trying to say. Like people who think that about my fics don’t know me that well. 

Membrane has the most character shift from the show to the Florpus and he can be an extremely nuanced character when you look at him.

Professor Membrane in my fics and stories are basically me looking back on my parents from an adult point of view, as well as looking back in my childhood.

Because I know as a kid, I would have 100% related to Dib and probably would have not liked the science man if I had watched the show when I was ten years old when it came out. 

I think it’s important that Membrane LOVES his kids. He adores them and would literally do anything for them.

And before you say, “he has put Dib in the crazy house multiple times”

yeah, that’s a huge mistake.

But people forget that Dib attacks children in class. Like way before Zim ever showed up to earth. He chased and cornered a hairy kid up the monkey bars, bullied a kid and said his dad was a yetti, and has a LARGE file in the guidance counselors office ...  

By the time that the SHOW STARTS....  Membrane is used to Dib’s shananigans.... and he tries to be supportive....

Membrane’s dismissiveness here always kinda spoke to me: “ah, I’m used to this... oh well, boys will be boys, what can I do,  I’ll just let him have this...” 

People always forget that Membrane isn’t entirely dismissive of Dib here. Like he agrees with Dib that, “Yes, maybe there is possible life on other planets... but not INTELLEGENT life... and if there IS intelligent life out there.... they are way too far away in light years to engage in communication with Earth”

Like Membrane doesn’t dismiss the idea of aliens... but he sees aliens that exist in the show, something that is entirely science-fiction. 

Membrane doesn’t really understand encouraging imagination in his children... (like Dib is still 9-10) Especially since Dib’s imagination leads to him hurting and being harmful to his other classmates. 

The only reason I feel that he’s so adamant on the: “THERE ARE NO ALIENS” in ETF is because he’s dealt with Dib’s behavior for years over these things.... so.... Yeah... Membrane got frustrated and said “I’ve TRIED to be patient with your unscientific interests...” and by that point... he had been... Like Membrane lost his arms and has probably listened to and tried to be accepting and accommodating towards his son the best he can... (like why would Dib be a chair otherwise... Membrane sucks at putting down boundaries) 

But can you think of the amount of trouble that Dib causes and what he has to answer to... 

It’s not like Dib is engaging with a hobby like art or writing and Membrane is like: “you need a career in a respectable field, son.” 

That is not what is happening here.

Dib’s hobby is one where he is ACTIVELY ATTACKING AND HARMING OTHERS. 

What else is Membrane supposed to do? He’s trying his best to encourage Dib to engage in a less harmful and more productive field. He just wants his son to be excited about what he’s excited about... And I believe he’s completely unaware of the pressure this really puts on Dib...

Why do you think he said in ETF “I’m always proud of you”  BECAUSE HE IS!!!

I think Membrane is completely unaware how much of his encouragement towards “real science” is more harmful to Dib than helpful. But even in Mopiness of Doom.... as much as Dib being involved in his science makes HIM happy, it doesn’t make DIB happy... so he lets him go to “catch that alien” without forcing him to stay.

Membrane is obviously devastated that his son doesn’t want to work with him... but he’s not intentionally forcing him to stay or takes that out on his son...  He blames himself for how Dib turned out. (and he should, honestly at points) but hindsight is 20/20 and he needs to learn a lot more as a father... 

He made a mistake in how he handled Dib’s harmful obsession by just letting the Crazy House for boys handled things... He should have honestly talked to his son personally about this.. Like, “why did you push that boy off the handlebars” “the skool told me you were bullying another kid”  “I hope you’re not roughhousing with your little green friend too much...”. But Membrane doesn’t really know how to handle emotions and feelings and conflicts... This is something he actively is working harder to improve on..

I do think elements are there for Membrane to redeem himself and even then, Dib and Gaz don’t have to forgive him if they want, not really. 

Here’s an expert from Me and @paketdimensioncomic​ ‘s ARM’s fic about the “wishing isn’t scientific son” scene in particular, it’s not cannon, but it might as well be, and it’s probably his thought process (he tried to reach out to his son when he stormed off angry afterall)

I think Membrane is a very complex character, just because there are two iterations of him and he’s really the only character in the franchise to actually get character development. 

I know people when the Florpus movie came out said that version of Membrane in ETF was “dishonest” to his portrayal in the show... but I really think it’s showing that he is trying. And The Comics showed me that’s the Membrane that’s here to stay.

He has a lot to learn... Obviously... I am still dissatisfied with how ETF ended with the “All’s well that ends well” ending, but I always like to see the different directions people like to take the bumbling Professor in.

He’s just constantly tripping his way through parenthood, and I want to see him try 10000000% harder. 

In Conclusion: “Professor Membrane tries his best but still kinda sucks at parenting” is peak characterization for him and I love that more people try to write him like this now instead of intentionally malicious. 

[iron--spider]

I woke up at 3am yesterday to watch The Devil All the Time and I’ve been thinking about it since. I’m gonna put my thoughts and feelings and a review of sorts behind the cut, because I am gonna talk about it freely, so there will be spoilers! So don’t click if you don’t wanna see. I’ll also be discussing the content of the film and I know that might bother people, so that stuff is in here, too! And it’ll be really long because you know I can’t shut up.

So, I loved it. I loved it loved it loved it. I read the book a long time ago when I first found out Tom was gonna be in it, and the only problem I had with the book was that the POVs would change in the middle of a paragraph lmao, but other than that I thought it was pretty perfect. I knew the movie was gonna be pretty brutal, because the book is brutal, so I was prepared.

-BUT I think the critics HIGHLY HIGHLY exaggerated how bad the content was. Like, seriously, they acted as if this was gonna be a Saw movie. I was preparing for blatant, horrific gore, but it didn’t live up to their dramatics at all. There’s blood and nasty situations, but every single episode of Game of Thrones is worse than this movie, as are most episodes of any crime drama on a paid network. I actually thought they were super, super tactful of all their horrific shit. The dog death was off screen and the shot of the body (described by the critics as literally traumatic) was so quick (enough to shut your eyes) and in the dark. I also argue that particular moment is extremely important for Arvin’s journey, because it’s the moment he truly turns on his father and turns on religion entirely, and he carries it with him his whole life (it’s what he flashes back to when he says “I know what my daddy did” because it’s the marker of all Willard’s mistakes) and it winds up being one of the last things he does before he leaves everything behind. Burying Jack’s bones. So, like, I despise dog death or any animal death in my entertainment, but it’s important here and handled well. And all the worst death scenes are either extremely fast (Helen’s and Gary Matthew’s) or shown in negative (all the photos). I think Bodecker’s headshot with Bobo is probably the worst and is also pretty quick. I don’t know if this means I’m a jaded bitch, but God the way they were all whining and crying, I thought it’d be a million times worse. It could have been, with the book’s descriptions, so it was actually pretty tame. Lenora’s death affected me the most and they cut away from that, too. I guess it’ll still bother some people, but there are many, many mainstream things that are far more violent and gory than this was.

-I thought it was a beautiful movie. I never mind films that are slightly slower but I love ones that use their time to lay things out and really show us what’s going on, build the ambiance and the relationships. I loved the narration (which I was worried about), and it really made me feel like we were visiting a moment in time that was important. Like something that was written and should be learned about. Rumors in a town you’re passing through. The ghosts of past trauma and transgressions looming over everyone that’s left.

-I liked the changes they made with Roy and Theodore because I thought that storyline kinda meandered in the book and I’m glad that Roy was actually gone the whole time and not just neglecting to come back to Lenora.

-The only real complaints I can make, I’ll get out of the way here: I wanted a little bit more time with Carl and Sandy. Carl was really creepy, but he could have been much creepier. In the book he was the one looking at the pictures constantly, Not Sandy, and that really showed that he was the one with the sickness, the one pushing them forward and orchestrating it all. I thought they did well with showing how Sandy deteriorated in her efforts with him through the years, but I would have liked to see a bit more of their personal lives together and her fear of him and her genuine feelings about what they’re doing, because the book goes into that a lot more. I also wasn’t a fan of Lee finding the picture early and knowing some about what they were doing, because I liked how it was a surprise to him in the book and yet he still did all he could to cover it up. And lastly, in the book there’s a scene with Arvin after he kills Sandy and Carl where he’s in a motel and he takes like 18 showers because he can’t get the grime of what he’s done off of him, and he looks at the picture and has a nightmare about killing Sandy, and I really would have loved if they’d kept it in. It would have been another ‘acting’ moment for Tom, and it would have been nice for us to see his direct trauma and reaction to everything that’s piling on top of him.

-BUT that’s it. I loved pretty much every single other thing and decision that they made. The cinematography was TOP NOTCH. You could tell they filmed on 35mm film, you could see the grain, and it really, really added to it. Antonio Campos is a very skilled director and I trusted him at the helm of this story. Everything looked so authentic, all the sets and the costumes. The soundtrack and score were AMAZING and enhanced the film. Technically it was just perfect in every regard to me.

-Acting! Acting! God this was like...a massive testament to the casting department and the talent of these people. Everyone was on their A game. Bill Skarsgård has been on my radar since Castle Rock (which I recommend to everybody, both seasons) and he was so natural and great in this role. Haley Bennet was absolutely adorable as Charlotte, I loved her cute face and her sweet relationship with little Arvin. Riley Keough was so great as Sandy with the limited amount of time she had, and Jason Clarke is one of my favorites but he was unrecognizable in this as creepy ass Carl. Harry Melling was a far cry from Dudley Dursley and he did a great job with his screen time, too. Same with Mia Wasikowska, who didn’t have much to do (same as poor Helen in the book) but she was able to garner our sympathy anyway. Seb Stan was slimy and gross but he pulled it off so well. Eliza Scanlen has been one of my favorites since Sharp Objects (another one that’s brutal as hell but I recommend it, she’s so scary) and she was so, so great here. Robert Pattinson was ALRIGHT, everybody talks him up over this but he felt a little hammy to me and a little too over the top, but there’s no denying his talent.

-Now, the reason we’re all here. Tom. My God. As soon as it was over I just didn’t know what the hell to do, I didn’t even know how to....go on, lmfao. We all know he’s talented, that’s why we’re here, that’s why we love him, but his performance in this is just BEYOND all that. Beyond comprehension. The man is only 24 years old and he’s out here outacting people who have been in the industry for longer than he’s been alive. He is SHOCKINGLY good. I knew he’d be perfect for Arvin as soon as I read the book, but he just completely embodied this role in a way that I couldn’t have imagined. He doesn’t show up in the movie until about 45 minutes in (which doesn’t hurt it because of the strength of the leadup, Bill’s performance and the performance of little Arvin’s actor) but God, as soon as he’s there the whole thing comes to life in a way that it hadn’t before. Tom is literally just a shining light, and he draws your eye in every single scene he’s in, and when he’s not there you’re wondering when he’s gonna come back. Arvin, to me, is a very complex character—he has been inherently changed by how his father twisted religion in his childhood, how deeply he betrayed him by his behavior, but he still has a kind heart and a protective streak and the need to be strong despite the pain nearly breaking him apart from moment to moment. Tom is just outrageously good at portraying all Arvin’s little nuances, how he clenches his jaw, how his voice breaks when he’s afraid or trying to convince someone of something or get his point across, how his hands tremble after he’s done something he wishes he didn’t have to do, how his whole body wilts when he realizes he’s emulating his father. And his eyes. Tom can do so, so much with his eyes that it’s unbelievable. He tells you so much with just a simple look, a glance, a wince, a long blink. I’m not exaggerating when I say he’s just an absolute revelation in this, he cements his place in Hollywood with a firm hand and a tender look, and I will not be forgetting what he did here anytime soon. There’s a reason that everyone called him out for being so stunning in this. He is magnificent. He has a gift.

-I wanna say, in particular, how much I love Arvin’s relationship with Lenora. Their lives were both marked by such tragedy and pain and Arvin just took up the torch of protecting her from the moment he said hello as a child. He wants so badly to be tough, and he IS, but there’s just miles and miles of love in this boy’s heart, and it manifests itself for his family—for his uncle, for his grandma, but for Lenora in particular. I loved how he just showed up when she was being harassed and just ran in there without thinking, and it’s purely devastating that he was out taking care of her bullies while a worse predator was cornering her. The scene where she was sick wasn’t in the book but it was a beautiful addition. Tom sometimes wears this very open, unguarded, honest expression, and this is the only scene in which he shows it, and it really expresses the love between them and how much she means to him. Arvin didn’t find Lenora’s body in the book, but it was the right change for them to make. Tom was devastating here, and that pain and that moment truly fuel every second of his journey through the rest of the film. “My Lenora”. The saddest siblings. Both Eliza and Tom did so beautifully with this relationship and I hope they work together again.

-Favorite acting moments for Tom: when he’s in the car in the rain after beating up the bullies, when he’s in the church crowd and realizes Preston is insulting his Grandma (the way his face changes oh my GOD), when he finds Lenora, when the cop comes to tell him Lenora was pregnant (this is just....so damn good), when he was telling his uncle to look after his Grandma, THE ENTIRE CHURCH CONFRONTATION (the way he trembles when he’s trying to get his attention, how he speaks the whole time, how he slowly gathers his strength), when he thinks Sandy has shot him, the moment where he’s over Lee’s body and just....pleading with his eyes for him to listen and realize what he’s done. And the last scene, in the car, all the emphasis on his face....once again, he can do so, so much with a look, with his eyes. Someone called out the beautiful last shot in the film, and of course, it’s Arvin’s sleeping face. And it was so beautiful (and devastating, to think of him enlisting. Tom draws so much sympathy that you just want Arvin to have a normal life so badly. He deserves it, he does, but will he get it?)

-Last thing I’ll say, I really loved how, despite turning his back on religion, that God seems to be protecting Arvin the whole time. He’s terribly afraid confronting the preacher and that could have easily gone badly, especially when he tosses the book, but Arvin was somehow able to get a shot off and get the upper hand. And with Carl and Sandy, he senses something is off immediately once they pull off the road, and he would have absolutely been killed had Carl not switched out Sandy’s bullets for blanks. And in the confrontation with Lee, he once again shoots at the same time as him, shoots without looking, and manages to come out unscathed and on top. A few spoiler reviews pointed out that the last person that picks Arvin up is supposed to be a Jesus-like figure, almost like he’s finally been saved. It hurts that everyone around him that he loved is almost forsaken by God, but he himself is protected. It’s such a complicated commentary on religion throughout the entire piece, but it’s so interesting and engrossing.

So I’d recommend this movie to anyone that loves movies, loves Tom, can deal with a gritty story that takes its time laying out all the chess pieces. It is definitely heavy subject matter but it doesn’t go overboard with the horror as it easily could have. Yes, there are triggers to look for, but the critics hugely over exaggerated how awful it was. I can probably go get time stamps for certain things if people wanna ask me after reading this, but if you can get through a Tarantino film or any HBO drama, you can do this. And Tom’s performance is one for the ages and not one that deserves to be passed over or downplayed. It is beautiful and heart-wrenching—a magnificent turn that displays his monumental ability to reach out and guide you into any world he decides to make his own.

I loved The Devil All the Time.

[bakugou-simp]

⚠️SPOILERS for bnha, and the heroes rising movie⚠️

I have rarely voiced these opinions, but I think it's about time I did.

See, there is a fine difference between ships and what is more likely to be canon, for me at least. As of right now I do not believe that bkdk will come anywhere near to being a canon romantic relationship, not only because of the type of manga/anime bnha is but also because of the development and change that would need to happen in order for it to even be possible. For the type of manga, I also believe Izuku or Katsuki being with anyone of the same sex is also out of the question. Horikoshi has put two transgender characters (and supposedly a bisexual character) in his manga, yes, but I do not see us getting anything more than that.

I am a multishipper through and through however, and I ship almost anything you can name that isn't incest, pedophilia, or abusive. Kirideku, for instance, and Todobaku as well. I like those ships, I think they're very cute and make a lot of sense. The only ships I don't like (I won't name them) I dislike purely because of the people who ship them. The way they act completely disgusts me.

But let's take a look at why BakuDeku, in my opinion, is commonly misunderstood.

I think there are a lot of misconceptions about the BakuDeku ship, and I don't say this just because I personally ship it.

Katsuki

Season 1, as soon as Katsuki was introduced I hated his guts. I couldn't stand watching him bully Izuku, let alone telling him to go and jump off of a building. I wanted to reach through the screen and punch him myself. I don't take things like that lightly, and so I thought to myself I will never like this character. Even as time went on, season 2 and all the way up to season 3, I couldn't stand him.

He was an abusive person terrified of his childhood friend becoming something that perhaps he feared that he himself could not. He's disgusting towards everyone, showing only disrespect and arrogance.

When he was kidnapped is when things started to change for me.

Not just his reaction alone-- "Deku, stay back"--but also Izuku's. Izuku is one to forgive way too easily, in my opinion, but I doubt he forgives someone if he truly doesn't think they deserve it. So for whatever reason, Izuku thinks Bakugou deserves his trust and forgiveness.

If you look at it like this-- Izuku knowing Katsuki better than anyone else, not only from his observations but as well from his up close interactions with the other. Taking this into account, maybe Izuku knows something we don't about Katsuki. We know for sure his mother was borderline abusive--as seen from that conversation with Todoroki as well as just how she treats him--, but is that all? We can't know for certain, but it seems that Izuku might.

Let's say that none of that is true, let's go ahead and say that Katauki is just what he seems to be: an arrogant prick with a superiority complex. Even so it's impossible to say that he hasn't changed at all.

Take this scene for example. Just from this scene alone, from this one thing that he tells a kid he doesn't even know, you can see how much he's grown from when he was 14 years old.

This is turning into more of a Bakugou thing rather than a bkdk one, but hang in there. This is important too.

He has gone from believing that he is the best of those around him, thinking that everyone else will only get in his way, to recognizing that he has weaknesses just like everyone else. That in its self is a feat to be praised, but top that off with the realization that if he keeps putting others down he'll never see his own weaknesses and you've got one heck of a character development process. Granted, that won't be enough to make up for things he has done in his past.

So let's take a look at his past, shall we?

Raised in a home with, while loving, a push over father and a brash and aggressive mother. Whether or not she realized what she was doing, or even if she had been raised in the same way and doesn't see it as wrong, the way she yelled at him undoubtedly rooted something not short of some sort of trauma (disclaimer: I am no expert on trauma) into him. Not only that, but she probably pushed him to be better. Constantly; be better, you aren't good enough, you call that trying? So on, and so on.

Being told his entire life that his quirk is amazing, those around him letting him believe he is an undeniable leader, all of that has made him into what we see in the beginning.

Even before he got his quirk he probably thought he was better than those around him and that they also knew that, that they would follow him for protection or some sort of recognition from great power.

So, we have a 14 year old who thinks the world eats out of his hands. He sees Izuku, quirkless Izuku, as something not worth his time. Someone as great as him has no reason to play around with someone as worthless as Deku.

There is obviously the hinted at miscommunication, as shown during the Deku vs Kacchan 2 fight. The fact that apparently Katsuki sees everything Izuku does as looking down on him, mocking him, calling him weak and so on.

As a person who struggles with this, I can assure you it really is hard to tell the difference between someone genuinely wanting to help and secretly saying they don't think you can do it. Obviously I realize not everyone looks down on me, but because of the need to be independent and to prove myself to those around me, it feels like every outstretched hand is going to burn me when I grab it. Katsuki is far worse in that regard than I am, so I can only imagine how hard it is to admit to himself that someone is offering help and not mockery.

So let's say this entire time, their entire lives spent together, Katsuki has seen Izuku--someone who was quirkless--as one of the many people who doubts his abilities. Of course he's going to treat him worse than he treats others, but none of that makes it okay. None of that, any of this, erases what has been done.

That being said it does create a bridge for his redemption, for a deserved forgiveness, and yes I truly do believe he will earn that forgiveness.

It's going to take a long time for him to grow into the fact that accepting help doesn't equal to accepting defeat, and that offering it doesn't equal to the belief of weakness.

Katsuki, in my opinion, started to see his faults around the time be befriended Kirishima. Kirishima is strong, so obviously Katsuki is going to want him on his side, but there is more to it than that. I truly believe that Kirishima sparked the change in Katsuki, or at least held the match for the flame to be sparked.

Kirishima and Katsuki's friendship is what I imagine Izuku and Katsukis's might have been like if Izuku had gotten a quirk, as that is all that mattered to Katsuki. He never cared much about the person attatched to the quirk, only how it might help him. Meeting Kirishima, a person who believes everyone is strong and that they can do anything they want with the resources handed to them, must have irritated the piss out of him. Another person who seemed to think that the weak could be strong.

Being around that kind of thinking will eventually rub off on you, however. Even off onto someone like Katsuki. Especially after seeing Izuku's potential with his own two eyes.

So all of those thoughts of Izuku being a weak nobody turned instead to thoughts of Izuku being a threat to him and his goal. It's better than the first, but it really doesn't do well for them being anything other than rivals.

So, right now in his character development process? BakuDeku even being friends seems like a far off thought.

So now, let's take a look at Izuku.

Izuku

His entire life he's been told by Katsuki that he is lesser, he will amount to nothing, he's completely worthless. That never stopped him from arguing, denying, or wanting to be a hero. Finding out he has no quirk didn't stop him, and being told he might as well die didn't stop him.

Izuku is a wonderful person with a huge heart, a heart that wants to save every single person it comes across, and a heart that sees the best in everyone around it.

He went from being someone in the background, never standing out or doing extraordinary things to a person who will stop at nothing to save one single life. He no longer lingers at the sides, or fears his own abilities. He strikes with confidence in himself, in his peers, teammates, and all of those around him. He uses the hearts of those he wishes to save as a boost to help him win the day.

Meeting Iida and Uraraka, and many other amazing individuals, helped him realize that there are people who believe in him and want to see him succeed. Not everyone will treat him like Kacchan, or only see him as being in the way.

Do I believe that he had to have resented Katsuki in some way for some amount of time? Absolutely. In fact, he might still.

Him forgiving Katsuki wasn't out of the others development at all. It was out of his own achievements, his own confidence, that he was able to come past all of that negativity and believe in himself as a hero. For that reason, he was able to at least not hurt from what Katsuki done to him, if he hasn't yet forgiven him.

Sadly I don't have a lot to say about Izuku's development, or his thought process, but I do know that Katsuki has always been his image of victory, and I do now believe that he can finally see himself as his own image of victory. Or at least, more than just his tormentor.

Heroes Rising

I want to talk a little about the events of heroes rising, dispite it not being a canon part of the universe. It has been said that the movie was what Horikoshi imagined the end of bnha to be, and that is what I'm going with here.

In the movie Katsuki is still his usual superior self, treating Izuku the same as he always has. When there is no immediate danger, and even during a fight neither of them expected to walk away from. Now this may be do to Horikoshi changing it to fit more into just an alternate period of the present instead of perhaps a more time skipping version, but I am not aware of that being false nor true.

Even so, Izuku showed the same amount of care for every individual person as he always does. Katsuki on the other hand, he seemed to care just a little more than his typical self.

Even going as far as to use Sero's actual name when he's calling out, concerned for the other.

Especially, in the way he treated Izuku suggesting giving him one for all just so they could win the battle.

They both knew what this would mean for Izuku, and it's pretty obvious Katsuki didn't want to do it at first, but he's not clueless. He knew that Izuku was right, without two one for all's they and everyone on the island would have died. Throughout the process never once does he say anything about himself, he's only ever concerned about what would happen to Izuku and about saving the island.

Izuku was willing to give up his dream for an entire island, because that is his dream. His dream is to save lives and become the greatest hero, and saving an entire island is exactly that. He trusted Katsuki because he knew All Might would, and if All Might would trust this quirk with a person such as Katsuki, clearly others besides us, Katsuki and Izuku can see his development.

Their Relationship

Now, in regards to the actual conversation of misconceptions. I do believe that at first glance, that being not taking into consideration home life and miscommunications among these two in their own time, any sort of romantic relationship for these two would be seen as abusive. Because right now, if they both weren't more busy with training to be heroes rather than relationships and for some reason decided to be together, that's what it would be. Katsuki has a lot of things to sort through in his own head, and after he gets that settled they both have a long road to being able to be anything close to friends.

So being rivals is the best for them at the moment. They are each others core motivation, the reason they push and push themselves even when there's nothing left to push. Which over time is going to build a strong connection, more than what they have.

Eventually I do believe they could be friends, a hero duo is even more likely as they've already proven just now as training heroes that they work well together.

That being said if anything romantic were to come of it, it would be in a much later date.

Another misconception might be that bkdk shippers either ignore the way Katsuki has treated Izuku or just don't see it at all, which may very well be true about a lot of younger (or even older) people who might just see their rivalry as some sort of romantic tension. Which happens a lot in anime. However many of us see this ship and see the development, the huge development that will take place in order to be something more, and that is something we would absolutely love to see.

Shipping (for me personally)

I think that most ships in this fandom have good reasons for being shipped, and even if they don't as I've said there is a difference between shipping something and thinking it will become canon.

Personally, I think any ship becoming canon would ruin the manga. I see bnha as something that is perfect without any building romance, that being said a little background romance wouldn't hurt.

As far as relationships among the students goes, I'd hate to see any of them actually start dating. At this age, when they're doing things that are far more important, it doesn't seem like the right decision at all. That doesn't stop me from reading fanfictions, or looking at fanart, or saying that I ship two or more characters together. It's all harmless fun, until you turn into an Anti. I have absolutely no respect for antis and I severely hope they never interact with me.

In conclusion

I do not think that bkdk will be a canon ship in the mangas current timeline. That however, doesn't mean I can't ship them or think that eventually something could come of all of their character development.

Like it or not a good part of Izuku, his development, his personality, his dreams and life goal come from Katsuki. They come from knowing him nearly his entire life, from seeing him as a symbol of victory since they were kids and even up until now.

You can dislike bakudeku as a ship, you can ship other things and all that, but to deny that they aren't important to each others entire character-- and yes I do mean both of them, Katsukis's character also revolves a lot around Izuku--is to be blinded by your "hate" for the ship or even for Katsuki as a character. BakuDeku as a friendship/rivalship is way more important than as a relationship, and I think that's something everyone who loves either of them needs to respect.

The entire reason that they are were they are right now is because of All Might, their shared admiration for a strong hero for different aspects of said hero. That he never loses, and that he always saves everyone. Both traits make up their own respective heroes, Izuku and Katsuki happening to be opposites on that spectrum.

Their current existence thrives off of each other. Where they once looked to All Might for motivation, they now find it amongst themselves. As seen many times, when Katsuki asks Izuku "when are you going to hurry up and make that quirk your own?" You can choose to see that as him looking down on Izuku, but all I see is him wanting Izuku at his fullest potential so they can both give their all against each other, while at the same time with each other (though I doubt the second part is what Katsuki is thinking, those are just my thoughts.)

All in all, they push each other to be better, and I can't help but respect that.

(I'm sure there will be at least one person who will come around and reblog this just to say how much they disagree with me and why I'm wrong, so if you're that person I'd appreciate it if you just didn't. Your opinions are your opinions, but I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong so I don't want to see you telling me that. Thank you.)

posted on tue, Aug 25th

[spideyy-girl]

Dating Richie Tozier Would Include...

Request by anon: hey are u writing richie fics??? if so can you just do one where he realizes he really loves her or just a dating richie fic?

Summary: pretty simple,,, what it would be like if you were dating the infamous “trash mouth” of Derry (spoiler it’s fukin awesome)

Fandom: IT

Warnings: swearing, abusive parents are mentioned, serious injuries and talking of death, making out

Word Count: 1480 (4.3 pages)

A/N: so this was requested in May and to the anon who did request this I’m so sorry it took so long! Also, I hope you don’t mind that I did a headcanon instead cause I just had so much to say. But anyways hope you enjoy!

~~~

Dating Richie is just so like nice and just perfect

you guys would've met a long time ago, he defended you when Henry Bowers tried to take your animal crackers in kindergarten

and ever since then you two were thick as thieves

being the closest friends out of the entire Losers club

you started to get feelings for him in sixth grade...

it was one of the many nights when he had come over to your house in the late hours of the night due to his mother drinking again or another family issue

you had stayed up and let him rant to you, holding his hand in yours and gently brushing your thumb against his knuckles as he tried to keep his tears at bay

he hated crying in front of you more than anyone

after he had gotten everything out he was exhausted

he fell asleep right away as you were finding extra pillows

still dressed in his jean shorts and stupid hawaiian shirt

you had seen it many time before but this time it triggered something in you and you knew you were fucked

you not being able to hide your feeling for him and told him two weeks later

you never kept any secrets from the other so it was bound to happen

but thank god he felt the same whoo

and this BOY he was just so EXCITED like YES

after you turn around he definitely starts dancing and pumping his fist in the air

you catch him doing it too

your first date is at the arcade (obviouslyyyyyy)

he teaches you how to play mortal combat

you guys get slushies and it somehow ends up in spilling the entire thing on each other

"SLUSHIE FIGHT"

but as I was saying he's just really the perfect boyfriend right y'know

cause he's already your best friend and you guys aren't awkward and you can trust him and tell stupid jokes to each other

but also Richie has a soft side (fight me on this)

tells you stupid pick up lines, gets you little gifts and flowers, always spoiling you with little things like that

is SOOO into pda but only if you're comfortable with it of course

soft pecks: YES 

forehead kisses: MORE YES

hand kisses: BIG YES

hand holding: ALL THE TIME

hugs: EVERY DAY

always has to be touching you, sorta clingy but in a good way

especially after the events of IT, he is always nervous and always has to have his hands on you

because you got seriously hurt during the events of the Well House in the final battle

this poor boy thought you weren't gonna make it and was just so distressed

staying by your side at your hospital bed every single day without fail (not like he had many other people to be with)

crying silently into your hand when he was alone 

but when you woke up he was so happy he started to cry more

showers you in kisses and cries to you about how scared he was about you leaving him and his nightmares about the clown from the sewers

slips the big L-word while rambling without even realizing it

and even though you guys are young you knew that you felt the same way, but would save that conversation for later

when your nurse walks in to check on you she finds you and Richie asleep on the tiny hospital bed, cuddling

his head was on your shoulder and your hands were threaded through his long black hair, that was pretty greasy but you didn't mind

his glasses fell off a while ago and cracked but neither of you really cared

Richie practically living with you after his household becomes too much so he's just always over

him always acting like an angel when he's around your parents and them actually loving him and basically adopting him

him wanting your parents to think he's a good influence because all of his other friend's parents despise him for some reason

OMG SLEEPOVERS 

your mom and dad wouldn't think much of it before agreeing like once a week since you used to have them all the time when you were younger and before you were dating

you two making out in your room and Richie being really nervous because "what if they just come in?"

(they never do anyways)

doing dumb karaoke sing-alongs to songs like africa and bohemian rhapsody

MOVIE MARATHONS

would usually consist of multiple star wars movies and stupid romcoms that your mom has a stash of

groaning at all the cheesy scenes even though they were exactly like the two of you in real life

cuddling on the couch and sharing a blanket awwww

him feeding you popcorn as you're watching the movies AWWWW

you guys eventually tire yourselves out and sleeping on the couch LIKE JUST SO GODDAMN CUTE WOW

you guys go to your first school dance together

Richie bicycles to your house and makes sure to bring you the nicest bouquet of flowers not so much money could buy

he was for some reason so nervous, like his palms were sweating as he rang the doorbell, and was constantly smoothing down the one regular white button-up shirt he owned

when he sees you in your cute little dress with your hair done in little curls and the small amount of makeup your mother had done for you, he felt like he was gonna faint

how did he get so damn lucky like... SERIOUSLY

little did he know you were thinking the exact same thing as you smiled brightly back at him

you guys had an absolute ball, dancing all night like crazy people, not even caring about the popular kids at school judging you

slow dancing at the end of the night to put your head on my shoulder and it being really sweet

him kissing you at the end, and even though it's still awkward middle school kissing it was just the best thing ever

"I sorta think I may be in love with you"

"I know, you told me last month" 

going into highschool still strong as ever just POWER COUPLE

still being nerds and bullied a lot but also everyone wanted to be you cause your relationship together was PERFECT

you guys had one small fight in junior year because of some nasty freshmen were trying to get him to ask them to prom

the poor boy was absolutely oblivious and didn't know what was happening until you started yelling at him

you guys break up during the summer but just before school starts he shows up at your door with a big teddy bear, a bog full of chocolate, a handpicked bouquet of daisies, and a very practised apology

you couldn't help but run into his arms again

you went through everything in life together after that, graduation, college, getting jobs, finding a place to live, and eventually getting married and having a family together

you guys have one little girl named Annie and she's just so perfect

her being such a daddy's girl and having Richie wrapped around her little finger

Richie is the best dad imaginable, despite his not so similar upbringing, going as far as to play dress up and having tea parties with his little girl

living in a cute apartment together in new york, where Richie worked as a radio host for one of the biggest stations in the country

your loves being complete and everything was just how it was supposed to be finally

well, that is until you guys get the phone call from your childhood friend Mike

when IT comes back Richie insists you don't come with him back to Derry, saying that you had to go watch the Annie while he was away

you gave up after a long few days of fighting over it

never being able to sleep since whenever you closed your eyes all you could see was that stupid clown hurting your husband

always keeping Annie close to you all the time and never letting her leave your sight, even though you no longer lived in Derry, or Maine even and there was technically no threat towards you guys

when he gets home you've never been happier in your life

taking Annie to the airport to pick him up and running into his arms when you finally see him, your little girl in your arms as well

"It's over now, it's gone for good this time"

you guys grow old together, and are both really happy and love to recall useless memories from when you were children and everything turns out great

wow honestly I'm crying at this point

you guys are just so damn perfect and everything is perfect I love this 

okay sorry I'm done now have fun

~~~

TAGS:

Permanent: @phonegalhelp @caswinchester2000 @gwenebear @morganvanilla

Let me know if you want to be added to a taglist!

[lollytea]

What are your opinions about Jungle cubs? I loved that show as a kid!

hi hello!! thank u for humoring me!! i love getting asks about the stuff im currently obsessed with that nobody really cares about, it makes me feel valid! also i dont have well constructed opinions, i just have a very messy, manic head so i just babble all my thoughts. for that i am sorry 

im not gonna say jungle cubs is the best damn cartoon to hit the tv and maybe its just my own biased love speaking when i call it a good show but it means a lot to me personally. it brought me comfort as a little kid, i came back to it as a teen when i was feeling very alone and came back to it again as an adult just cuz of my recent love of baloo and talespin and needing something to keep me upbeat during the quarantine. 

and ive watched quite a few cartoons i loved as a kid that i dont really vibe with anymore. i tried rewatching gummi bears. its not my thing. but jungle cubs is?? really good?? its just so charming to watch. i love the expressive animation, i love the smooth flowing dialogue, i love the playful and naive tone it has of just a bunch of kids being kids, i love the depiction of these characters, i love the performance of the voice actors, i love the layers it adds to the original film. layers that were never intended to be in there in the first place but isnt that just the beauty of interpretation and ones own imagination. 

its such a formulaic concept isnt it. to take a classic show/movie and make its protagonists babies for a spinoff. but i dunno, i always got the feeling that whoever was the backbone of this story actually cared about the characters they were writing and took a sincere approach to it. 

they thought in-depth about how to devolve them from their current personalities in a realistic way and what aspects of themselves are so core to their being that they would have been ingrained since childhood. the cubs feel pretty three-dimensional and considering theyre cash grab spinoff babies, that is an amazing feat.

but also, i love it for the very very very simple reason of its really adorable. bagheera especially. to see such a stoic and levelheaded character in his earliest stage as a child just Hits for me. cub bagheera is clever, hes cautious, hes a little stuck-up, all traits he has in the movie. hes also not the best hunter, doesnt know how to roar yet, is a little cowardly, sorta awkward at times and is often trying to prove that hes the best even though hes aware that he is nowhere near the best.

like its easy to believe the kind of person he grows up to be but at the same time, its really interesting to see the more childish aspects of himself that he eventually matured past. and hes adorable dude! baby bagheera voiced by EG Daily is the sweetest goddamn thing, i love him so much 

also shere khan who is a fuckin doozy. hes very interesting in this too. everything about his attitude is reminiscent of a preteen who says mean things to you on voice chat while playing overwatch but if you tell him you’re gonna call the police on him, he starts panicking. thats shere khan’s vibe, a real edgy little tiger who thinks hes hot shit cuz he probably caught something bigger than a mouse like one time and its gone to his head. 

hes constantly stalking around, subtly bragging about what a natural predator he is. but at the same time, he’s still around?? hes still hanging around with the other cubs cuz hes ALSO a cub and likes to play around with other kids his age. and he fucking loves his friends. the amount of times he’s scared off bigger animals who were about to harm them. and its really sweet cuz they like him too. while his attitude is definitely annoying sometimes, they still consider him their friend and enjoy his company. its just wholesome. 

plus hes also pretty vulnerable as hes a cub. he doesnt stand a chance when they come across a grown animal as a threat. he gets scared just like the rest of them, hes just so arrogant that he never admits it. 

in fact the appeal of the show in general to me, is the vulnerabilities of all the characters that comes with being in their most immature state. they dont know any better when it comes to stuff. this show is real dumbass hours 

EVERYTHING about baloo is just great. he does not change even slightly. he is exactly the same except hes little and his voice hasnt broke yet. his child voice is amazingly fitting also.

i mean i guess one thing that differentiates him is adult baloo had some semblance of a philosophy. he was wise....in a way. baby baloo does not know shit about shit. he does not think. he just vibes, okay?? i love him mwah

i dont have much to say about the others but i DO like this interpretation of them more than their adult selves. it also just feels bittersweet that they grew up to be such dicks. Haithi is lovely, i love that hes just out here TRYING to be a colonel but he lacks the authority that comes with being a grown elephant and he doesnt have the self confidence to command anybody yet. he is simply babey.

 louie is a very cute little dude, i love him and baloo as just an idiot squad. he also has a very good voice

kaa.....i dont trust. on one hand, hes very sweet as a child but on the OTHER HAND he grows up to be the creepiest fucking creation disney has ever put in a movie so that snake will always rub me the wrong way even when im trying to like him. 

also ONE THING thats driving me crazy about this show is like. it has the best depiction of pre-adolescent boys that i have ever seen in a cartoon ever. just the way they behave. theyre sweethearts one minute, extremely mean the next minute, going from building eachother up to lightly bullying eachother, lots of unprovoked play fighting, laughing over dumb shit, rude to strangers for no goddamn reason, theres just a lot. 

it fuckin knocked me back like 15 years cuz it reminded me so much of kids i used to play with. and these arent even human children whose brain development is documented, these are animals, this show had no business being this spot-on.

i dont like season 2. it has a few gems here and there that i get a kick out of. but as a whole, its really disappointing. since the show swapped production companies, they seemed to uproot it completely and start from scratch. and its kinda sad cuz i think they were TRYING to do something poignant when it came to a future narrative but it just didnt land. firstly there was a huge animation downgrade and looking at the two season in comparison is kinda depressing. 

also they redesigned the characters, some looked worse than others. baloo looked fine but i still preferred his og look. bagheera....was the worst. rip bagheera. 

they all underwent a huge personality change. and not in the way that showed subtle maturity, i mean a vapid exaggeration of their original personality. the only characters who were left relatively alone in this regard were baloo and kaa. and i dont mind gradually changing a character since there IS an adult version of them that they should be growing into. but the season 2 depictions are literally the furthest things from their adult selves that its unbelievable.

 another pet peeve is they changed a few of the voice actors and.....i love these season 2 voice actors in other work theyve done. dee bradley baker and cree summer specifically who are both very talented people. but they did not fit these roles in the slightest. (not to mention having cree summer play an APE and suddenly having her do a LOT of monkey noises that the previous va never had to do. im not gonna get into all that BUT hmm.) and if youre gonna recast the characters to make them sound “older” as least make them sound somewhat similar to the jungle book actors, so you can picture them eventually growing into those voices. 

also the tone shifted so much between seasons. the way they tried to make this jungle more of a “society” with shit like talent shows and sports games and celebrities and like fuckin. STOP. theyre animals. just let them be animals. along with that the writing just feels really off and its just. not fun. i dont like it 

and as i mentioned, they WERE trying to do something here. the fact that the cubs didnt hang out with eachother as much and were starting to drift apart is kinda sad and wouldve liked it see it handled a little better. but instead i got season 2, which was stupid. and im 21 and im petty. 

anyway i am very sorry that ended so negatively and im very sorry that rant was completely all over the place i have no sense of proper organization i just wanted to gush about what i love. but on a positive note i love jungle cubs!! its very dear to my heart and makes me very happy and i wish it had gotten more episodes

[spideyspoods]

minor inconvenience

Pairing: Peter Parker X F!Reader

Request: Combined @astrospideys & @spideypeach ‘s milestone celebration prompt (”a kiss. for good luck.”) with an anon request! “Hello dear! If you don’t mind can you write about peter and his childhood bestfriend being more than friend, but Peter is in dilema because he realized he wanted more but he doesn’t want to put the reader in danger because he’s spiderman. You can decide whether the reader knows Peter is spiderman or not. Thanks a lot!” 

A/N: I’m truly sorry to everyone that this is so late, school’s been kicking my ass. However, I’m kind of proud of this one so I hope you enjoy! :)

Warnings: Fluff.

Word Count: 2k

---

Peter Parker wasn’t one to get distracted during school. In fact, he prides himself on being a great student; one who rarely failed tests. However, he’s noticed that his mind starts to wander whenever he’s around Y/N L/N. They’ve known each other since they were in the first grade and have practically been attached at the hip. Their friendship grew stronger as the years progressed, but Peter couldn’t help but yearn for more.

He remembers May teasing him about how close they were ever since they started to hang out. He’d constantly deny her claims by calling her ‘just a friend,’ but do friends feel their heart leap at the mere sight of the other? Peter’s been stuck in his own thoughts, thoughts of her, for the past few months trying to convince himself that it wasn’t a crush. However, his heart said otherwise.

He wanted to confess his feelings for her so badly, but there was a minor inconvenience to his idea. Y/N had no idea that he was Spider-Man. Despite telling each other everything, he failed to mention his alter ego. It’s not like he wanted to hide it, he just didn’t want to endanger her.

So with that, the bell rang as Peter headed out the door and to his locker. “Parker!” a voice called out. He turned his head and found the girl of his dreams stepping towards him. Her eyes seemed to sparkle, vibrance and sunshine practically radiating off of her. “We’re still on for tonight? Your place?”

“I don’t know, I was thinking of going to Delmar’s,” he trailed off, jokingly. She feigned a pout, crossing her arms. “Rude. To think I was going to bring you some gummy worms-”

“Hm, I guess that sweetens the deal.” Y/N rolled her eyes at the pun, “What? Is my own presence not enough for you?” It is. Peter’s mind went foggy, trying to recover from his thoughts. “I’m joking! Now get to class, I’ll see you later.” She nodded, “I’ll let Ned know. Later, nerd.” Y/N turned before disappearing into the midst of students and left Peter with a lovestruck look. He had completely forgotten Ned would be joining them.

---

“Hey, you know how we’re studying tonight with Y/N?” Peter asked, poking at the tray of food in front of him. Ned nodded, taking a sip of water. “You mean like we always do every Thursday?”

“Well yeah, but this time it’s different. Would it be able to be just me and her tonight?”

Ned quirked a brow, “Why? Wait a minute,” he gasped “are you finally dating? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Peter’s eyes bulged out his head, frantically shaking his head before hushing his friend who may have been a bit too loud. “Because it hasn’t happened yet! I was kind of trying to make that happen tonight.”

“No worries, I got you. I’ll let her know that something came up. But you owe me.”

“Anything!”

“Help me rebuild the death star.” Peter shrugged, that wasn’t too bad.

“Wait rebuild?!”

---

The minute Peter got home, he ran to his room. He took in the sight of opened drawers and papers strewn across his desk. He glanced at his watch. 5 PM. She’d be here by 7. He huffed, knowing that he had a lot of work to do.

---

May set her purse down by the couch and slipped off her shoes. “Peter, I’m home!” Silence. At first she didn’t think anything of it, before seeing that the living room was in pristine condition as if it was a hotel. “Peter?” She opened the door to his room that was now organized; every single item had its place. “I’m not complaining, but is there something going on?” Peter turned from the mirror and to his confused Aunt, “Y/N is coming over.”

“She always does, but this cleaning thing is pretty foreign for you.” Then it all clicked in her head. “Are you finally going to ask her out?” Peter’s eyes wandered to the wall, still extremely focused on adding the right amount of gel to his dark locks. “What no it’s not like that,” he turned to his Aunt “but if I was going to ask her out...does my hair look okay?”

---

His phone buzzed, and he saw a notification from Y/N.

On my way! :) Attached was a photo of her holding the large bag of gummy worms to her head. He smiled to himself, that was definitely her new contact photo. Right as he locked his phone, he got a call. “Requiring back up! Robbery three blocks away-” Damn it. He let out a sigh, but slipped his suit on. “May tell Y/N that I’m going to be a little late!”

“You haven’t told her that you’re Spider-Man yet?”

“No! I just- it’s complicated. I gotta go!”

---

Y/N knocked on the apartment door to reveal Peter’s Aunt. She smiled, welcoming her in. “Hey, Y/N! Peter said that he’d be running late but feel free to make yourself at home. I have a few errands to run, so you’re in charge!” Y/N shot her a thumbs up. “Don’t worry, Peter running late isn’t anything new anymore.Thank you, May!” She breezed out the door and Y/N set her things down in Peter’s room. “Wait a minute.” Peter’s room was actually neat? 

In all ten years of knowing him, he had never been one to tidy up. Not that he was a slob, he just lived in organized chaos. Without the clutter on his shelves, she could finally see the photos in the picture frames. There were a few of him and Tony, courtesy of the Stark Internship, one with Ned, an older photo with May, but one stood out the most.

A photo of her with Peter during their freshman homecoming. Neither of them had a date, and May thought it would be cute for the two of them to go together. Little did he know, that was the day Y/N started to fall for Peter Parker. Sure she had always loved him platonically, but something changed in high school. His chocolate eyes were always gentle and the way his brows furrowed whenever he concentrated was enough to make her swoon. The only thing stopping her from admitting her feelings was the reason that she was sure he didn’t feel the same. Not only that, but what if it made things awkward? So she compromised, keeping her feelings to herself.

Minutes turned into hours and Peter still wasn’t back yet. It was already 10, and Y/N decided to make herself comfortable. Surely he wouldn’t mind if she borrowed one of his sweatshirts?

---

Peter slowly opened his window, before jumping into his room. For some reason, everyone decided to commit crimes at the same time. He froze, seeing Y/N lying in his bed sleeping. He frowned, feeling guilty that he left her all alone. Peter scrambled for his clothes and looked around. Now where was the sweatshirt he left out?

“What the hell?” he heard a groggy voice call out. Y/N was now wide awake, staring back at him. A spandex suit clung to his legs and his face paled. 

“Okay-”

“I knew it! So you are Spider-Man!” she exclaimed in glee.

“No- wait you knew?”

“Well I thought you were and I asked Ned, but he said no very unconvincingly. So there’s that.” Of course she knew.

“I’m sorry for ditching you, wait is that my sweater?” He smiled to himself, and winced before clutching his side. Y/N choked, but noticed that he was in pain. “Yes, but I don’t think that matters right now. You’re literally bleeding and oh-” Past what just happened, she noticed that he was shirtless. Her eyes lingered longer than they should have, before dragging him to the bathroom to find rubbing alcohol.

The wound burned, but the mere sight of her seemed to dull the pain. “You know this reminds me an awful lot about the first time we met.”

Peter sat down on the hardtop at school, with a small lego set in front of him. He had just watched his first Star Wars movie with his Uncle Ben last week, and ever since then he had been enamored by each of the characters and spaceships. For his birthday, he got a small tie fighter lego set and he brought it to school so he could assemble it during recess. He didn’t have many friends, but he was okay with that. A fellow group of first graders approached him and snickered, “Where are the rest of your friends? Oh wait, you don’t have any!” followed by giggles. He ignored them, it wasn’t anything new after all. 

“I’m talking to you, dork!” The kid in front of him let out a yell before letting his small foot crush the legos underneath. “No!” Peter whimpered. The pack of bullies started to laugh even harder before they heard a high pitched voice yell. “Stop it!” A little girl with pigtails stomped towards them, “You’re not being nice! Leave him alone!” The blonde kid scoffed, “What? Are you friends with this dork?” She stood in front of a frowning Peter and crossed her little arms, “He’s not a dork! He’s my friend! Go or I’m telling the teacher!” At that, they all scrambled. The little girl turned back to Peter who sniffled. “Hey, I’m Y/N! Can I help you build your spaceship?” Y/N smiled wide, showing off her missing front teeth. Peter wiped away his tears with his sleeve, “Okay, do you watch Star Wars?”

“Yes! It’s my favorite! Do you want to be friends?”

“Yeah.”

Both of them were brought back to reality, a smile dancing upon their faces as they remembered what had happened years ago. “You were cute back then.” Y/N smirked, “Are you saying that I’m not cute anymore?” Peter tensed up. Uh oh. “No, not at all! You’re not cute,” her face fell “That’s not what I- You’re very pretty.” He dug himself in a deep hole. “Well thank you, Parker-”

“You’re also really nice, and funny, and smart. You’re a great person, Y/N.” He huffed out. Now or never, right? On the other hand, Y/N looked down, trying to hide the child-like grin on her face. “I wasn’t aware that it was compliment time-”

“I think I like you. Well not think, I know I like you. I have for a while.” He felt her touch slowly slip away. Great, he thought, you screwed it up. “Did I make you uncomfortable? I’m sorry-” Y/N got up to quickly press her lips to his. It was short, but he could feel the passion and intensity.

“You talk too much.” Their heartbeats echoed in their ears. 

“Wait so you like me?” She nodded, a blissful smile on her face. “For the longest time, I just thought you didn’t feel the same way.”

“I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want you to get hurt because of my job.” He stated, looking into her eyes. “That’s a risk I’m okay with taking.” He tentatively kissed her again, resting his hand on top of hers. “I really like you, Y/N.”

“I like you too, Peter Parker. Now, just because you’re cute doesn’t make up for the fact that you haven’t helped me study for the physics quiz tomorrow.”

---

Y/N and Peter strolled through the halls hand in hand. They approached Y/N’s next class; physics. Both of them stopped by the door with a smile. “Relax, you’ll ace this.” Peter spoke. She bit her lip, “You’re just saying that.” He grazed her hand with his thumb before planting a kiss on her cheek. “Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?” she smiled. 

“It was a kiss. For good luck.”

“That’s cute, I’ll catch you later.” Y/N entered her class, while Peter stood in the hallway. “When did that happen?” Ned called out, but Peter was too enthralled in his own bliss to answer back.

He fell for her hard, and he was okay with that.

---

Thank you for reading! Feedback and comments are appreciated, but not required! My taglist and requests are open as well! :)

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[huangsren]

hs!chenle ; can i call you my everything?

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 ; zhong chenle just wanted to find the perfect nickname for you.

part of @hwangdol and i’s hs!dream au >:))

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 ; highschool!chenle au / childhood-friend!chenle / ft. hs!yukhei / fluffy / lw angsty

warning ; small mention of depression / cutting , (some) swearing / explicit langauge

zhong chenle x (fem)reader

you and chenle have been friends ever since you were both 12 and miraculously transferred to the same school at the same time

at that time, small chenle and you understood it’d be easier to befriend each other rather than trying to squeeze into the already made class cliques

since then, you and chenle happened to experience everything together-

the first crushes, failures, broken bones, embarrassing class reports, school field trips (which surprised you b/c,, what kind of kids go on their first field trip in the eighth grade)

and as you got older, first mental breakdowns, bad relationships/friendships, and bad fights; whether they were with each other, or against other people 

chenle never took you as the soft girl, you wouldn’t hesitate to kick the balls of those big-headed bullies, chenle was more scared for them than himself

you see and meet some upperclassmen that he somehow had the ability to befriend

some characters like the stoner-boy!haechan , playboy!jaemin (both by my bby @hwangdol ), and art-hoe!renjun

it’s inevitable that you two change somewhat over the years, but the one thing that never changed since the very first day you met was how chenle wanted to find you the perfect nickname

like this boy is just so set on finding something great to call you instead of your actual mf name????

the first week alone of knowing him gave you about 20 nicknames that we’re all passed up and forgotten b/c he says they just don’t capture what he’s trying to say about you

so every year, every month, every week, every day is spent with him casually tossing all kinds of names at you

from being names like “maybe i’ll call you chun-li, how about it chun-li?” 

to the most random things like, “so how’s it going, flipstick?” , “my mom said you should come over for dinner tomorrow if you’re free, cheeseball” or “yes! i got a better score than you, small-hands”

and for some reason chenle had this kind of infatuation with your hands b/c god knows why? they weren’t even especially small or pretty either but he would always mention or inspect your hand at least once a day

when he first held and looked at your hands, your twelve year old little heart may have thumped and pulled away

but by the time you two are 14, it didn’t phase you in the slightest, it’s just hands

in the days past he would hold your hand out in front of him, and you’d continue to do whatever you were doing b/c it was no longer unusual

it wasn’t ever odd to feel chenle holding your palm, with his eyes just looking so lovingly at the way your fingers would fold whenever you lost that game you were playing on your phone

he would casually play with your fingers and maybe rub your hand with his thumb b/c he was a naturally touchy person

at times it served a good purpose as it helped you know which girls were genuinely talking to you for you and not for chenle, and it drove away strange men when you two would go out 

and he happened to want to see your hand again

but sometimes it would take a turn for the worse and he’d find that you reached that low you hadn’t in two years, that low where you found it fitting to hurt yourself

on gOd, how much seeing chenle’s expression when he found out you hurt part of yourself gave you much more emotion and pain than that slit on your wrist

so you held it in most times, sometimes for chenle’s sake and sometimes b/c chenle gave you reasons not to

other times, you’re thankful he treats you like he would any other day b/c getting into it would definitely hurt more than the movie he planned to take you to 

since he knows the two of you have been waiting for the release date for the longest time

however, that indifferent, friendly feeling you had with him began to wear down once the third year of high school came by

it wasn’t a special day, no

but chenle came in with new hair, a slightly messed up uniform, a basketball held between his side and his arm, and this more mature look to him that you never payed too much attention to

and you have to admit, the thoughts of chenle and you being more than you are now were growing each time you saw him again

obviously you keep that on the down-low though, there’s only so many friendships to result in a happy relationship versus the amount that are just kept one-sided and unnatural after confessing

and today, you are once again thinking about chenle as more than just your friend

thinking about how it would feel to be together

how being in his arms would feel, how holding his hand in that way would be

the warmth of him all around you, knowing you’re a big part of the reason he’s smiling, running your hands through his hair,

doing silly things like trying to bake a cake? or trying to toss those tiny marshmallows into his mouth?

having the ability to tell him that he’s your sunshine over and over again?

you, without a doubt, know that being with chenle in that way would be one of the best parts of your youth

but you can’t bring yourself to do anything because, what if that feeling goes only one way?

what if the only reason chenle keeps you by his side is because he knows you won’t be phased by his constant clinginess, because he knows you won’t fall for him and stay as his friend without wanting more?

there are countless girls who are obsessed with him and his other group of friends, that’s why that group of boys he’s a part of are known as the “dreamies”

and you aren’t the only girl chenle finds time with either,

sometimes you have to keep yourself from wanting to make plans b/c you hear he’s already made some to go do pranks with his other friend-that-is-a-girl (aka y/n in jisung’s au!)

but when you hear chenle constantly coming up with nicknames for you, you can’t stop yourself from feeling that something

the something in your heart that won’t stop and you admit to yourself that you like chenle

you like the zhong chenle that you knew when you were 12 and you like the zhong chenle that you know now

which hurts so much because after coming to this conclusion, you see how significant the power he has on you is

he has the power to make you sad one second after you were happy, make you happy when you were frustrated just a second before, to make the butterflies in your stomach wild, and even the power to make your breath hitch in his presence

it really doesn’t help your situation when his recent nicknames have become a little more cute and loving than before

just yesterday it had been, “what’s up, buttercup” and he continued with that one until after dinner when you face-timed him for homework help and he says, “you’ve come to the right person, honey bun”

all of it made you cringe just as much as it made you all giddy inside and you internally swear by how much it affects you

“something wrong, ms. casanova?” and his eyes show real concern for the friend that you are and when you look into them through the screen, you know you don’t want to fall any longer into the angelic boy

you are fully aware of how off and silent you’re being, but you can’t stop feeling like it’s wrong for you to like him this way

so you take it into your own hands to stop before you’re in too deep

starting with asking him to put the pet names to rest

“chenle, can you stop?” you pause, “please?”

and he goes silent

his heart aches but he doesn’t let you see, all he does is say, “stop what? we can study more at lunch if that’s what you want, care-bear” and he smiles, trying to comfort you because he senses the way your tone got lower and softer

“no chenle, that’s not what i’m talking about!” you sigh, knowing that he’s intentionally dodging what you mean, “i just- i don’t want the nicknames anymore lele, i’m sorry”

as you explain, you look at your hands and twirl your fingers, not being able to look him in the face- and you’re right to want to avoid his look

because once you peer back up to that face on the screen, he has tears in his eyes and he’s trying hard to find some sort of regret in yours

but he can’t see any because you know what you want for the two of you and you are certain that doing this sooner will stop you from wanting more

“chenle, listen-

and the video call is over and a heartbeat later you get a text from him

“sorry, y/n. good night.”

you burst into tears yourself- full on sobbing

you didn’t realize how dark you’d feel hearing chenle call you by your real name even through a text

you knew it would make chenle sad if you told him to stop but you never imagined to see that pain in his eyes 

you cry for him for the longest time ; your chest taking in big gulps of air before letting it out in a shaky breath and it takes longer than you’d like to stop your upper body from trembling

and you fall asleep with a heavy heart, pillow soaked with the feelings you had pent up in you

but the next morning comes and you’re not ready to face chenle any time soon and thank the lord that instead of p.e. with chenle, you have study hall

so you keep yourself in the library, in the math/science section b/c, let’s be honest, it’s the least popular and the least crowded

while trying to distract yourself from all of chenle, you take out your phone and earbuds to watch your favorite anime

but that shady website just has to give you some kind of hentai pop-up before you even plug the headphones in 

which leaves you wide-eyed and panicked, doing your best to muffle the sound and plug the wire in as fast as you can

then you hear a chuckle from behind you and you turn around to meet wong yukhei, or lucas, the kid who only shows up to his homeroom and p.e. class- skipping all the other periods

and you freak out because this kid’s known for never holding his words back and so you get up out of your seat and walk over to sit next to him

“i’m not doing what you think i am” you say, not looking his way

“i never said you were doing anything” he replies, focus still on his phone

“oh come on, you laughed right after that um, noise went off and i was having a heart attack”

and then you turn his direction and can’t believe that you actually have to shift your gaze upwards because of how tall this kid is

“oh? i was laughing at this meme”

and he motions for you to look at his phone, so you do. and you lean over the arms of the chair to see his phone and chuckle at the fact it’s literally just some shrek shitpost

he looks down at you at smiles, oh what- what was that

perhaps this is what you needed to get over your feelings for chenle

you needed another person that had no relation to him, needed to be around someone who didn’t know you

someone you could rebuild yourself as the real you with, not worrying about how you’d fit with chenle

“stop staring at my eyes you weirdo, it’s just a meme” he says and shoves you back onto your own chair

so you’ve decided. 

“lucas, you wanna be friends?”

“please don’t tell me you’re trying to get dicked down or something” he rolls his eyes

“what? bOy- no i’m not trying that. i just think you’re the perfect person for me to be around until i get over myself” you say, making sure to emphasize that you’re even grossed out he thinks you want him

“okay, go ahead. i cant stop you”

“before you answer, i know how weird this is but- wait, for real? that easy?”

“dude, i couldn’t care less. you wanna skip last period? get some food?” he asks

now he’s standing up and dusting his pants off from snack crumbs and then holds his hand out in front of you

you nod and take his hand before he yanks his out of your hold

“um, i was asking for you to get my charger for me..”

“bitchass you should have said so, i thought you were being soft lucas”

even if you’re embarrassed, you reach and unplug his charger then hand it to him, rolling your eyes in the process (but really there’s a faint blush on your face)

“you’re kinda dumb for that, and my name’s yukhei”

“i thought you went by lucas?” you say, curious as to why he’d want for you to call him his given name

“nah. i’ll let you call me yukhei. consider it the highest blessing you’ve ever been given”

a month and some has passed since the night of your last call with chenle

but naturally, the pain of losing the friendship you had with chenle was still evident

just weeks before, it’d be heart-wrenching to just know you had to see him, 

but now you can make eye contact and smile a little his way

it wasn’t your willpower alone though, 

you admit that having yukhei by your side and him just giving you an outside perspective on the whole situation opened your eyes

of course he would call you dumb and stupid sometimes when you tell him about why you fell for chenle in the first place

but that one response he had in the macaron place stuck with you and he held a good point

“honestly, y/n, i may be dumb but you shouldn’t have beaten yourself up fro just having feelings. i mean, if you really, truly, like chenle, why did that happen so suddenly? what if you’re just in love with the things he did and not really him and you let yourself fall. i’m sorry if i go over the line, but you were going through, a time. maybe you just wanted to feel something”

that day it didn’t settle so right with you to agree with all that he said

you didn’t want to let the feelings you had for chenle seem so superficial and due to the fact you knew each other for the longest time, but he was right

you thought about how if it were yukhei in chenle’s place, you’d probably let yourself fall for him too.

it wasn’t chenle that your heart leaped for, it was just the things he did?

specifically just the two things he did : the nicknames and the hand-holding

and to prove your theory, you and yukhei made an agreement where he would also hold your hands and call you nicknames, which started two weeks ago

“yup, that’s it. we’ve got ‘em boys. i can’t believe how much i just like hand-holding and nicknames. wong yukhei, i like you” you tease him

truthfully this particular parlor was a spot you and chenle would frequent

but yukhei said he would create memories of it that didn’t have chenle, so here you two are

“oh please, y/n. you know how i actually feel about you. you can’t just say that, i know you like those two things, not me” he says and goes back to shoving ice cream down his throat

yes- lucas had confessed to you 

three days after you started the whole ‘experiment’, in fact

something about how his conscience wouldn’t let him treat you that way without you knowing how he really felt

but he didn’t let you give him an answer, he just told you how he felt and went on with it

you kind of felt bad for him, he was into you and didn’t know where you stood in all of this 

but he kept on helping you in hopes of your feelings to lean themselves in his favor

yet you couldn’t quite place where you felt for yukhei

for sure there were times where you might have wanted to even kiss him, but there were also times where you couldn’t imagine being his girlfriend because, man you two we’re just too close of friends for it to change

and maybe this is the way chenle would feel if you had told him the way you really felt

so after some deep contemplating, you decide that the next time you have the opportunity to talk to chenle alone presents itself, you’ll tell him why you allowed things to be the way they are now

you just didn’t know it’d happen so fast and that it would be in the ice cream parlor you and yukhei were in

“y/n? lucas?” chenle looks at you and yukhei who are alone and sitting across from one another

“oh, chenle. hey”

“sooo are you guys a thing now or..? because if you are i can’t believe you never told me” chenle asks you, pretending he doesn’t have a problem with it

‘i can’t believe you never told me’? he’s the one who never tried to spark a conversation after the whole incident anyways

“no chenle, we’re not dating” you say sharply, only those few words in response

“ahem. i think i remember y/n wanting to say something to you, chenle. maybe i’ll go and order some crepes for a really long time” yukhei says and slips out of the booth towards chenle, giving the boy’s shoulder a pat before proceeding to flirt with the cashier for snacks

“so, how are you darli-” he stops himself, “y/n”

and the same smile that you loved is on his face, but you can hear the sadness behind his voice and you crumble once again

“i’m... i’m doing the same as always. 

and listen chenle, 

i’m sorry for falling off with you after the whole nickname thing. the truth is that i, um, i had feelings for you. i wanted us to be more than what we were but i was afraid of rejection. well, look at us now, you didn’t have to reject me and i’ve already made us like this. i don’t know why i would give up all that we have, and yukhei, i mean lucas- he’s been nothing but kind when i tried to get over you and-”

“y/n. i miss you” chenle interrupts

“i- i miss you too lele”

then chenle takes your hand in his, a gesture you ever thought you’d miss

seeing him like this again, him saying he misses you; were you really only in love with the two things or did you love chenle?

“you have no idea how long i’ve waited for you to say you have feelings for me. you thought i’d reject you? baby come on, you’re the only girl i’ve had my eyes on for the longest time.

even the first day i held your hand when we were 12. i couldn’t believe you thought that was just a friendly gesture” he laughs, “i mean of course we were young, but really? i knew you were naive and i knew how you were hiding your feelings but i never gave up, peanut. especially when other boys would try to get at you, i didn’t suddenly want to see your hands, i was telling them that you’re mine. i even told my friends how much i missed you.

there was this one point where i thought, maybe we are better off as friends, it doesn’t hurt, yknow? but then my older friend mark? you remember mark, right? he set me straight and told me that i did, actually, have feelings for you after all these years. you know the nicknames? i think i have the perfect one. so y/n, can i,,, can i call you my everything now?”

“chenle,” you start, “i said i had feelings for you.”

and it’s true. 

you see the smile he has turn both confused and gloomy

maybe the you a month ago would have swooned into his arms and fell even more in love with his confession,

but time played with the both of you and you realize that you don’t feel the same way despite him pouring his feelings in front of you

you’ve come to terms that, yes, you were in love with zhong chenle, not just what he did

but that’s all in the past ; you had loved chenle, you just don’t the same way now

“is it because of lucas? y/n you’re gonna break what we have for him?”

chenle raises his voice at you and his eyes become a mix of anger and dejection

taken aback by his tone and the fact he thinks you would ever break the relationship you two have built over a boy begins to make your blood boil

“lucas? no chenle, this isn’t about lucas! and for your information, he’s not even a bad kid? i don’t even talk about how your best friends with upperclassmen who are either : 1, high or 2, breaking hearts! chenle, the reason why i didn’t say anything is because i valued what we shared more than what i wanted alone! and if you already knew i was trying to avoid the way i felt then why did you wait so long to do something? i can’t believe the nerve you have to blame this on someone other than yourself? sure it may not be entirely on you, but you’re literally acting like you’ve done nothing wrong! chenle, you were basically toying with my emotions.

you knew how much i loved you and how much it was hurting me. you know so much about me, hell, you have a better perspective of myself than i do! you don’t know how much my heart ached when you would drop our plans for your other friends, have no idea how heartbroken i became when i finally admitted to myself that i liked you. all you did was watch me go through it, not saying a word, not even trying to talk to me about it in person either! let’s be honest, you never thought of me that way until you realized i was gone.”

you take a second to breathe.

“i can’t do this chenle, i can’t. if you have anything more to say then shoot me a text because otherwise? i’m not taking any of your ‘but i love you’ shit.” you vent

and then you take your stuff and move out of the booth towards yukhei

“can we please go, yukhei?”

he sees the tears forming in your eyes and he takes your hands

“you don’t even have to ask. i got you y/n”

then he pulls you through the now crowded ice cream parlor and your head is down, looking at the hold yukhei has on your hands

you and yukhei reach the park near his house after how long of walking hand in hand and sit in silence on the swings

and once you feel stable again you perk up and say

“i guess i really did make new memories in that parlor”

and yukhei looks at you, stopping his motions

“i’m sorry it still had chenle in it”

and his voice sounds defeated, like he failed you

“hey, yukhei, don’t be so sulky” you smile at him, “i don’t want to feel like i have nothing anymore just because i dont have chenle, ya know? at least i have some calming memories in this park now, even if it’s with you.”

“yeah, at least there’s that.” 

[goldenhour-goldenboy]

Hi, I'm obsessed with this movie. I've seen it like 10 times now and none of my friends/family will watch it with me. But I was wondering if you could do a younger benny and his high school sweetheart. Maybe they find eachother again later in life. How they were in high school and how they were before he and Will enrolled Vs how they are now given all the things they have seen and how they are older. I just thought this would be so cool.

My LOVE I am so sorry this took so long but I’ve made it! I actually got a bit carried away by the whole younger Benny thing but I hope that’s alright! The ending is fairly short since I didn’t want to overwrite the whole thing (maybe I’ll do another one where I go into detail a bit more how the service changed him but I have to work through the other requests first and there are some that are asking for the same thing so we’ll see)I had SO much FUN writing this and also broke my own heart bc now I’m sad that there’s no Ben Miller in my life lol OKAY 

also i’m also obsessed with that fcking movie it’s not funny i tell you

High School Sweethearts and Long Life Lovers (young!Benny Miller Headcanons)

When you and Benny first meet it’s like two worlds colliding. It’s not necessarily because you are the opposite side of a coin but more that you’ve never interacted with him and don’t exactly share the same group of friends. While you try to get through High School as fast and as unproblematic as possible, Benny seems to almost celebrate every second of it. He’s not a trouble maker per say but he likes to be seen (and heard) while you try to fly under the radar as much as you can. 

For Benny High School is just a passing point, somewhere he’s stuck until he gets his degree and an environment where the rules are not meant to be broken but defiantly meant to be bent to the maximum. For you he’s just another loud guy that tries his damn hardest to prove to the world of tough and different he is and you’re not at all interested in getting drawn into whatever mess he decided to create this week. He’s not a trouble maker but you think he does mean trouble.

You shoot him down the first time he strolls up to you to ask you to hang out. It’s not because rumor has it that Benny Miller leaves nothing but broken hearts and bruised knuckles behind but because his cocky attitude and constant teasing annoy you, not as much as the stares from jealous girls down the halls do, but still enough to decline. What does spark your first interest is the way he accepts your answer (which really consists of a simple “No”, you not intending to argue with him). Though his gaze is still lingering on you for a second, he backs of fairly fast - faster than most boys you’ve encountered by then and it’s his understanding and the space that he gives you afterwards that you appreciate about him. You don’t like him a whole lot better after that but at least he doesn’t turn out to be a real asshole.

Falling for Benny Miller turned out to be a marathon, not a sprint. Somehow, and you’re still not sure how, he wedged his way into your heart. It’s the little things that seem to come to your attention more often afterwards, how he’s almost always late to the classes you share with him not because he doesn’t care but because he walks everyone else of his group of friends to their classes first. How his face lights up when he’s getting picked up by his brother and you watch them through the windshield, Benny turning up the music and belting out the lyrics to a song where he doesn’t hit every note and his brother just snorts at him. 

His bruised knuckles turn out to don’t come from fighting in the streets and picking fights constantly but from taking boxing classes late after school at a local gym. You find out by accident, your cousin who picks you up from school recognizing his brother William and stopping for a quick chat, mentioning training and Benny being involved. William seems far softer than Benny, though you haven’t talked to Benny any more than his brother. For a second there’s a hint of surprise in Will’s eyes as you introduce yourself and you wonder if it may be recognition as well. As you pull your hand from the short handshake you can’t help the thought that crosses your mind if Ben has talked to his older brother about you, the image sending a soft blush to your cheeks.

A lot of firsts happen in the time you’re with Benny. 

The first time seeing bloody knuckles followed by a first time where you have to patch up said bloody knuckles. This time it’s not from training and it’s takes a bit of questioning until he rasps out that there were those bullies that tried to pick on a kid in his neighborhood. You scoff, telling him that he’ll get in trouble if he goes to School like that the next day and that it’ll only make the rumors worse about him being violent but Benny just shrugs, murmuring that it was worth it and he’d do it over and over again.

The first time you taste the bitterness of beer was on his lips, which happened to be the first time you kissed. You remember how his lips were a bit chapped that night, the music blaring inside the house you’ve been invited to, the smell of cigarettes lingering on the front porch and the railing behind you. You remember Benny’s hands on your waist, at first more hesitant but then your lips parted, a soft sound escaping yours and he gripped your waist harder, pressing his body against you.

You remember the first time you smelled him, face pressed into his shirt as it seems that you just couldn’t stop crying. You felt silly in that moment, balling over the loss of your favorite pet but that bundle of fur grew up with you and though you knew that it’s end would come long before your own it still hits you, hard. Benny was there then, rubbing small circles on your back and holding you steady.

Benny’s seeing a kind of sanctuary in you, something steady in a life that seems to move too fast for him. There are countless nights that he crawls through the window and into your room late at night. Sometimes you’re still sitting at your desk studying, sometimes you’re already lying in bed and the face that suddenly appears in your window scares you to death. 

When his dad gets called for another tour, it’s you Benny turns to. Will calls you first after Benny storms out when he hears the news and it doesn’t take long for the younger Miller brother to show up at your window, cheeks red and breathing furiously. He’s frustrated at first, walking circles into your carpet and cursing his dad and his brother and the army and the whole goddamn world before stopping with his back to you. You can’t see his face but the way his shoulders tense up, hands balled at the side before starting to shake you take a gentle hand to turn him around. The sight of his scrunched up face, tears falling big and heavy to your shirt as his head hangs low nearly breaks your heart and this time it’s you that wraps him in a tight hug and rubs his back.

Normally he leaves after a couple of hours but this time Ben falls asleep in your arms, face pressed into the crook of your neck, exhausted from the fear and the crying while you stroke his head, again and again until his ragged breaths calm down and he stops shaking. There’s really nothing you can say to him that will make it better. After all you’re both just two teenagers, too old to believe in miracles, too grown up to ignore the realistic chance of his father getting injured while being deployed. So you hold him and hope that in the daylight, the fear won’t be as strong.

Benny’s an absolute sweetheart to you in school. It’s not like he was rude before but now he’s taking chivalry to a whole new level. There’s usually an arm around your waist or a hand in your back pocket, stolen kisses between class. Glancing his way he’ll catch your eyes, a sheepish smile on his lips and before you turn your attention back to the board.

You’ve tried studying together for a while but it really doesn’t work that great. It’s either Benny distracting you or your distracting Benny, causing piles of homework to get kicked onto the floor, pencils clattering to the ground as you feel his body pressing you into the soft mattress of your bed, hips grinding against yours as he’s starting to suck with his sweet lips right under your jaw.

Benny accumulates a couple of habits since you’re around. There’s little notes that you randomly find in your backpack or your locker, not everyday but mostly after you had a tough week or a fight. Picking you up and dropping you off becomes a thing as soon as he passes his drivers license and there’s usually a cup of coffee waiting in your cupholder at the passenger side. On your birthday he creates a cd with your favorite kind of songs and it becomes your morning pickup playlist, William having to sit through the same songs over and over again whenever he happens to sit in the car.

Benny learns how to play guitar in those years with you though he swears Will made him do it and he didn’t learn it just for you. He’s can’t play an awful lot of songs, most of the time he can’t concentrate and sit still for the amount of time that it takes to learn a full song and playing the same thing over and over bores him to death very easily. But whenever he feels the need to clear his head, he likes to sit down, guitar in his lap and mindlessly pick at the strings. 

Though he hasn’t played in years the old guitar, that was actually your dad’s old guitar that he didn’t need and gave Benny as a gift, still sits in his childhood room at his parents house. He thought about taking it home but he really sees no point in it since he doesn’t play anymore but at the same time he can’t get himself to give it away either.

You try to go to prom with Benny, you even picked out a nice dress and he got dressed up but the night of the actual prom went a bit different than expected. You even made it to the parking lot but neither of you seemed to wanna get out of the car, instead you kept sitting there and looked at the people lingering around or waiting to get inside. It takes one look at each other and Benny’s pulling out of the lot in seconds.

You end up at a diner that night, with burgers and fries, first alone which you enjoy immensely and later joined by your friends that didn’t seem to enjoy the prom too much, even less without you two being there and Benny raising havoc. Instead of dancing in a very sweaty overcrowded gym Benny gets some change for the old jukebox and you end up dancing in the middle of the diner. And though Benny’s dance moves are a bit questionable at times, he twirls and twists you around that night that you get dizzy, grabbing onto his arms for stability where he takes the chance to steal a kiss from you, leaving your friends hollering and whistling at you two from the background.

Breaking up wasn’t so much a decision as it kinda just happened. Near the end of your High School both of you are met with the question on where to go next in life -  and unfortunately it seems as if fate is working against you. While Benny is set on joining the army with his brother (and this really does not come to your surprise since it has always been his dream) you start to look into Colleges. Both of you are stressed because finals are coming up, the inevitable question on how you should continue your relationship combines with the worries about the future and one fight too many leaves both of you with the feeling that maybe this isn’t meant to last forever.

Maybe if the timing was different, the two of you would’ve had the chance to talk it out one more time but you move away a couple of weeks after Benny gets employed and sent to camp for basis training. It’s your first real heartbreak, for both you and Benny and it certainly weighs heavy on your soul. A breakup is always hard but being this young it defiantly feels like the end of the world and it doesn’t help that you can’t seem to shake the thought of “What if..?”

The next time you see each other happens by accident. You’re back in town for a week to catch up with your family and though Ben has certainly changed you recognize him immediately. His body that just started to gain muscles when you last saw each other now has developed quite well and he’d outgrown his scrawny body but it’s still Benny. His hair is cut short and you catch yourself thinking that it’s even a bit too short for your liking. The sheepishness is still there, though his eyes flicker around the area, and you think to spot a hasty glow behind them, though it’s hard to tell from across the parking lot.

You don’t talk that day, him entering the grocery store and you’re about to pull out the lot, time doesn’t seem to give you a chance. But seeing him stirs something inside of you, the thought of him crossing your mind the following week again and again until you even ask your mother if she heard anything from the Millers, though she doesn’t know too much. Your brain is like a overachieving little helper, serving you memories at the most inconvenient times and it takes a bit for you to store the thought of Benny Miller to the back of your mind again.

It’s been ages now, at least it feels like it, when you stumble into each other, for real this time. You’re in front of a bar, waiting for your friends who want to celebrate your move back to town, though the thought brings nothing but hot shame to your cheeks that you wish to drown in a generous amount of alcohol. It really doesn’t feel like your next step in life but more like you’re taking ten steps back and thinking about moving back in with your parents makes your hairs stand in the back of your neck. 

This time you don’t recognize him immediately. He’s almost inside the bar when your eyes meet on accident, you glancing up from your phone again, trying not to look too long at the bulky dude in the grey sweater passing you by. He stops and you clutch your bag a little tighter, frantically trying to remember what your father told you about throwing a punch, just in case, and you almost take a step back as you hear his voice. “Y/N?” It’s hard to look at him now, his face a collage of colorful bruises, a split lip and red nose and you though you try hard find the boy that you gave your heart to in his eyes it takes you a minute.

You quickly realized that his appearance isn’t the only thing that has changed. He’s still witty and quick with a come back to tease but there’s a lack of his easy going charm and he seems to have lost some of his carelessness along the way. Maybe it’s because you’re not as close anymore, a small voice in the back of your head whispers and you silently agree. After all you’ve grown too, so expecting him to be still a boy at heart might be a bit too much.

You’re chatting for a while and it feels awkward at first, a stiff conversation about nonsense. Your eyes sneak back to his injuries and you can’t help but think that Benny looks .. rough. You don’t ask him how he’s been, the question seems silly to you because what even are you trying to hint at? His time in service? Where’s at now? What the hell he’s done to get that beaten up? 

You part as your friends arrive, Benny scattering away as they get out of the car and you end up not knowing how to say goodbye. It ends in a long nod from him and a small smile from you, fiddling with the hem of your jacket as you debate wether or not to ask if he wants to stay in touch and you get caught up in the excitement of your friends, the group giggling and pushing you through the front door of the bar. As you look over your shoulder you only see Benny’s back as he’s crossing the street, almost at the other side and you break into a sprint to catch him before he vanishes into the night. 

It takes a bit of convincing until he lets you type in your number into his phone. “Let’s keep in touch, yeah?” He nods and you’re almost sure he won’t call. It’s a week later that your phone rings, Benny on the other line, stuttering about catching up (he promises that most of his face looks better now and that he won’t scare the living daylights out of you this time) and suddenly you’re fifteen again, heart racing as you agree.

Find the moodboard for highschool!Benny Miller here! xx

[misterrnobody]

[M4A] [DISCORD] M/M GAY ROMANCE M/M (optional plots included)

Hello! I’m currently looking for someone who’s interested in writing a gay romance with me (don’t care about your actual real-life gender). My preferences are drama, angst, slice of life and so on. For writing, at least 2 paragraphs, proper English, third person only and the quicker you reply, the better (though different timezones are totally okay and real life comes first!). All I ask if that you don’t just disappear on me. If there’s something you don’t like; just tell me. I’m an adult and I can handle it. Expect me to do the same. Character-wise, I’m looking for characters around the age of 25-38. I also require a real-life face claim. I’m into writing with pretty masculine characters, both in appearance and personality.

I include NSFW content, for this reason, I require roleplay partners to be 18 years old or older. As for sexual content; my characters do not take the “top” position.

Due to the fact, a lot of people have had me waste my time writing starters only not to reply; I ask that you write the first starter purely for me to see that you’re serious about writing.

I’ve been roleplaying for 8 years on various platforms and am rather proud to say that people always seem to be amazed by the stories I come up with!

I have a preference for OC’s, though I have 2 ships I’m willing to write out (possible plots below. If these don't interest you we can write something else);

Hephaestion x Alexander (which would be in an ancient setting unless you prefer a modern one).

Visual: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qLzu4ondZU

and Colin Farrell x Jared Leto. (Seriously, you’d make me really happy if you’re into one of these ships : )

I also really don’t mind having a good conversation next to the roleplay itself!

We can either write on here or through discord (the latter being my preference). If you’re interested, please shoot me a chat or pm message.

Plot for Jared and Colin: They meet when they’re both trying to become actors as they play a small part in a movie. Colin used to be an alcoholic and is still drinking at that point as Jared goes along in it. While doing small acting jobs on the side the two of them spend their time partying, drinking and Jared even does drugs here and there. They stay at hotels and sleep with women at every chance. One night, they don’t manage each find a girl to sleep with and end up rather sexually frustrated in their hotel room as Jared suggests in a drunk mood that Colin could just fuck him instead which actually happens. After that, they’re basically too busy with each other to even notice others, though they never call it a relationship or tell each other they love each other even though they do. Eventually, Colin decides he wants to better his life and stops drinking which is rather hard with Jared still constantly drinking. He eventually manages to stay clear for 3 months when Jared slips alcohol into his drink in a drunk mood which causes him to fall back into his addiction. He gets so awfully pissed with Jared he tells him he never wants to see him again and with that, he takes his leave. Years later, Jared finds himself in a deep depression and in a wheelchair due to an accident that’s unknown to the public. (In this time period, you could decide yourself what life events shaped Colin). The idea is that there are options for him to walk again, but he just can’t be bothered to pursue them despite the fact it might be too late eventually if he waits. One of his actor friends throws a massive birthday party and the theme is to dress up as a character you played or are to play as Jared dresses up as Rayon (the transgender woman from Dallas buyers club). That movie is on the schedule for “when he walks again”. Basically, Colin thinks he sees a lady sitting all bored by himself and when Jared seems rather confused that Colin is even talking to him he realizes that the “lady” is Jared and assumes that the wheelchair is part of the character. They engage in a somewhat awkward conversation and Colin gets a little annoyed with Jared’s I don’t care attitude as when the man asks him to get him a drink, he gets pissed. Jared worded it weirdly meaning a glass of water and Colin doesn’t know he can’t walk himself so he literally starts about “how the hell can you ask a former alcoholic to get you a drink” and tells him to walk himself putting him on his feet only for Jared to fall down because well, he can’t actually walk. That lands them in Colin’s hotel room who eventually manages him to get the surgery needed and helps him through the process which causes them to bond and slowly fall in love again. That’s basically the main line of events I have up until now. Feel free to change anything haha.

Plot for Alexander and Hephaestion: Basically, Alexander is around 22, the king of Macedon and a little bit of an ignorant asshole feeling as if he's entitled to everything as he's royal. He never questioned everything his father told him. He doesn't have to be kind. He doesn't have to consider peoples feelings for he is a king and for example: slaves are to be obedient. So imagine that a grand party is thrown as there's a slavery auction. Hephaestion, in this story a slave, is part of what is offered and seeing Alexander is the king he is entitled to look through the slaves first and claim those he wants to work at his palace. Now all slaves are obedient until he stands in front of Hephaestion as when he grabs his arm to check for muscle (as you see in the movies ;p) the man simply janks his arm free and dares to spit in the king's face. Instead of hanging him Alexander punishes Hephaestion by making him his personal slave. Actually getting to know him Alexander starts to question if he's wrong to see slaves as a mere object for Hephaestion has personality and might even be more intelligent than some of the men in his personal counsel. He becomes sure of it when Hephaestion challenges him to a fist fight when soldiers are training and when he wins; it proves to him that slaves aren't all that different. Basically, we would turn it into a romance. It would include a whole lot of character development, especially for Alexander. He could change rules of slavery and allow Hephaestion to choose his own career path as he eventually does become a commander and so on? Now men being with men was actually normal back in the day where they are from, but for a king to be with a slave would cause some backlash and so on. We could add things or if there’s something you don’t like leave things out and kinda see where it goes after that slave auction.

OC Plot 1: A has been living on the streets for several years. His father made him leave home after seeing him kiss another guy. A started out with the money he saved and ended up in drugs business. A drug deal went wrong, he leaves the city and does not deal drugs again because the chance of running into the people he got in trouble with is too big. Once again going against everything he stands for, he finds himself standing at the street corner one night ready to sell himself to the first person that shows interested. That is B comes in, a rich man who takes a liking to men but can’t openly sleep around because gay rumors could be bad for business. He takes interest in A and takes him home, offering him a to stay with him in his condo, as well as good pay, if he’s available for sex at all times and A agrees, now having a roof above his head and not having to eat from trash cans.

The idea is that the more time they spend together, the closer they get. B, who’s rather selfish, starts to care about A more than he likes. He sees he’s lonely at home; he gets him a dog. He doesn’t have anything to do; he decides to put him in college. What’s interesting is that their lines are already blurred from the beginning, so what’s just kindness? What's part of the arrangement? What’s a hint at love? : )

OC Plot 2: Characters A and B used to be best friends throughout their entire childhood and high school career. In their senior year, people really start to comment on how close they are and the rumor begins that they are a gay couple. B really dislikes this because he is in love with his best friend and has not come to terms with it yet, to the point where he ends their friendship. A, who is a closeted gay man in love with his best friend is not only hurt by that decision, but also feels like B never truly accepted him. While B stays popular, A becomes kind of a loner and all is good until a picture of A kissing a guy goes around the school. B doesn’t really do anything about the bullying and eventually, A just disappears and there’s no track of him.

Years later, B moves to LA/NY due to a new job. At this point, he’s come to tears with his sexuality. One night when he’s at the station, he finds a familiar face putting down a sleeping bag and approaches A asking what he’s doing on the streets. A is rather rude and refuses help as he’s far from the happy cheery person he used to be. B soon finds out that A pays security a small amount of money to sleep there every night and starts with giving leaving him food at the place he knows he will sleep, though A doesn’t accept anything else. That is until one night when B walks home, he sees A get beaten up and after coming in between he takes the man home despite his protests.  A doesn’t tell him much, though it becomes clear that the picture in high school caused his father to find out about his sexuality resulting in him being kicked out of the house. Feeling somewhat responsible for that event, B offers A to stay with him until he’s financially stable enough to provide for himself and A accepts after a lot of ensuring though it proves to be rather hard as A never graduated high school. B covers the costs to get him a proper education as A starts to open up more as they grow closer again as they eventually fall in love again.

OC plot 3: A and B have been chatting and calling for 2 years, though A has never wished to video chat, saying he’s shy and despite disliking not being able to see it, B accepts it. They’ve never declared what they have a long distance relationship, but they’re well on their way. B is an (interesting sports) player and thinks A is involved in the same sport. He’s doing well and playing an important game 6 months from now and has invited A to come to support and see him in real life for the first time. Though before it gets to that, B saves up enough to go and meet A when A confesses that.. not everything he said was true as he is not the guy in the picture. B doesn’t give him much time to explain and gets angry, then blocks him on all social media. 6 months later, after the important game, B finds a bag with the various things he’s sent A over time in the locker room and when he asks who left it and one of his teammates mentions a guy in a wheelchair. Missing the interaction with A, B tries to find him and eventually does and when A gets frantically upset and starts apologizing he decides to finally listen to him and finds out that A did play the (sport of choice), but got in a car accident right before they started chatting and ended up in a wheelchair. Being in a bad shape, he used a picture of someone who looked like him and assuming he’d play his sport again after getting therapy for his legs, he decided to not mention any of that at all only to find out that his family could not afford to put him through the therapy needed. B needs some time to take it in and forgives him, then proceeds to try and help him himself, asking his parents to pay for A’s therapy with the promise he will pay them back after he finishes college. Basically, A starts living with B in his apartment close to campus and they develop love based on truth this time.

(Swimming would be cute, as B could swim with A even if his legs don’t work).

[trippz2ill2ace8itout]

🌙🌙Izzy Here; Your Worth It🌙🌙

🔥⭐️🌈Hey It’s Izzy (obviously lol) Your All Enough && Yo All Worth It, Fuck What The World && Society Tells U && Excpects U To Be xx I help everyone and everything obsessively, but I wish I could change the world , fix everything and everyone. This society disgusts me , this is a lesson I learned in my early childhood, the world is full of hate , salt and sugar look the same, and some people are disgusting, not everyone u associate with is your friend . I wanna save fix help care love be there , be by your side till the end no matter what, I’m here for you, don’t let anyone change who u are, ur not alone . I’m here for all y’all always, fuck all those assholes who try to mess with u . Fuck It Man, I love all y’all, and a big fuck u to all the abusers out there, just cuz u have a bad day doesn’t mean you have to make other people’s day bad as well. You Are You && Theres Only One , Be Kind , U Never Know What Someone’s Going Thru , I’ve been tortured raped and abused most of my life , I have over 10+ mental illnesses, and I’m watching the world being destroyed, yes I’ve fucked up in the past, no one is perfect, yes I’ve been an asshole , but I’m fixing it now. For all y’all who are going through shit and even if you are not, you matter YOUR feelings are valid , thank u for breathing, you’ve come this far, don’t give up now, I’m proud of y’all, and I’m here for u , message me anytime:) stay strong!!-Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez (me)🌈⭐️🔥 🦋🦋TRIGGER WARNING!!!! hey it’s Izzy here, and yes I wrote all this, you are YOU && YOUR AN AMAZING YOU! sure u make mistakesX but that doesn’t define u as a person, if u have a mental illness(es) that doesn’t define u at all, it only makes u stronger , ur stronger than you realize , your battling your mind every day and night , your a warrior , if your thinking about hurting yourself or thinking of suicide, don’t do it , trust me I’ve been there , you may think hope is lost but I’ll be ur hope, as hard as it is to ask for help, it’s one step closer to u not being dead, I know for some of us being alive is painful, dealing with abuse torture rape etc any kind of trauma , and u feel alone, put ur hand over your heart, feel it for about 30 seconds, feel that? That’s purpose , to those of u who have been bullied, I wish I could fix it, but what they say about u is a reflection of themselves, I know it doesn’t make it any better, but they will get there karma, U ARE NONE OF THOSE THINGS AND THERE TRICKING U TO THINK THAT ITS TRUE ! not all people are good and not all people are bad, to those of you who feel like giving up, stay one more night , I know it’s not easy , but I’ll stay up all night with u until ur ok, suicide takes. Away ur pain but passes it on to someone else, u may not think there gonna be affected by it , some won’t but some will, on one of my suicide attempts I never thought my friend cared cus she showed she didn’t care, her dog was wining and howling when I was on the floor and I was fading In and out , my friend called 911. And after that incident the dog passed away , and my friend tried to take there life , I’m glad ur alive hun I’m glad ur breathing that ur here, the world wouldn’t be the same without u , I would miss u. To those of u with mental illnesses ANXIETY: I have this one, your mind is tricking u, u gotta our run ur anxiety , I’ve had anxiety attacks so bad I ended up in the emergency room, I want u to step back , I want u to turn on LoFi Radio (there’s an app) and meditate to it , I want u to breathe In for 4 seconds , hold for 4, and let out 4, but do it slow , and remember WHO THE FUCK U ARE! If any of you are on the urge of feeling out of ur body crawling out of your skin , can’t breathe , everything’s either speeding up or slowing down, you think everyone and everything is after u, it may not be easy . But I’m here for you. BIPOLAR: I have bipolar mixed episodes , and I’m manic and I become dangerous , I feel like I’m on top of the world , what I need u todo is sit somewhere that u can use all ur senses , and use each time one to snap back into reality, sometimes are senses are intensifying and we can’t control it , but u need to see a doctor for medication, and DO NOT STOP UR MEDICATION COLD TURKEY (all at once) it takes a couple weeks for medication to kick in and adjust to your body . Go into the mirror and scream (if u can) that ur a survivor u are strong u are worth it and keep doing it until u believe it, It will take time. PTSD: I have this one as well , first off u are Not ur trauma cx and remember that u will see triggers constantly, think about this, ur not there anymore , u are not who u were back then, I have flashbacks constantly that it happens every day , write a letter to yourself and or ur trauma as a whole , I’m here for you , I know trauma from top to bottom , if ANY of u wanna talk to me about it , u don’t have to , I’m always here. Ur not alone , I go to outpatient therapy, not a lot recently tho , but If u keep bottling shit up it’s gonna explode one way or another ,I’m not a therapist or a professional. DEPRESSION: I have this one to, you feel hopeless, I’ll be ur hope, u feel worthless, u feel like ur drowning in an ocean and u can’t swim, u feel like darkness is controlling you, ur depression is lying to u, u are worth it your important you are enough! U matter ! U are not worthless or whatever ur depression is telling u , it’s not “trendy” to have a mental disorder y’all, ur depression keeps u In bed , u lose motivation so much where u can’t even eat , or lack or to much sleep, I want u to fight it , push thru , I kno , easier said than done, but u gotta force yourself to do it , if u literally can’t move ur body, trust me I’ve been there, I want u to think of something that u would get out of bed for (emergencies, saving someone) something that motivates u more than anything in the world, and count backwards from 10 and I know it’s not easy , but moving around decreases ur depression than staying in one spot , overthinking is something I need to work on. ADHD/OCD/ODD: I have all of those snap your fingers when ur trying to concentrate on something and only focus on the snapping of the finger , OCD fight off the urge to follow thru ur routine and think if I don’t tap my fingers a certain amount of times , is the outcome of not following thru logical? As much As u believe something bad is gonna happen , it’s just ur mind playing annoying paranoid tricks on u. Once again it’s easier said than done. AUTISM: u are NOT STUPID RETARDED SLOW ETC! U are actually the sweetest caring people out there , take ur time c ur doing the best you can, so what if u learn slower than others , ur smart and amazing in ur own way , if u know someone who is Autistic , don’t judge them they are people to, be patient with them! I have high functioning autism. BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: to be honest I didn’t know what this was until a doctor at in one of the mental hospitals I was in diagnosed me with it , then it all made sense, my advice is to remember to NOT let ur emotions and explosions control u , we are Not attention seekers , when u have extreme emotions or emotion and/or intensified emotions is to remember we’re not ourselves when it’s happening, and when u come back from it u regret it , right? And the next time u have one of ur breakdowns is to have someone observe where it starts and when it stops so u know ur triggers . A lot of people think it’s “cool and trendy” to have BPD, newsflash Karen, u don’t know and it makes it harder to have it cuz people like u think it’s cool, step a day in our shoes, if u don’t have it don’t pretend to , and this also goes for other mental illnesses, no one is gonna be impressed by u having a “mental illness” cus u think it will get u places. Don’t let anyone bring u down or change you! INSOMNIA: I have insomnia, what I do is download sleep and meditation apps on my phone , if u want message me if u want some suggestions for apps I use . DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY FUED: I have this one to, I dissociate most of the day, I can’t process where I am and o go to many different alternative universes, I feel like I’m in a dream or a movie , what I do is ground myself and even if I can’t process it I use all my senses together and try to break back into reality. I meditate all day and I snap my fingers and try to process where and who I am , I know easier said than done . ANOREXIA AND BULIEMIA: I have Anorexia, u are not fat ugly etc , ur slowly killing yourself , I can’t give u advice on this one cus I wouldn’t follow it, I would be a hypocrite. MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: I have this one as well, what I do is try to remember who the hell u were when it started , its hard I know , but I’m here for you NARCOLEPSY: I have this, I don’t know any advice cuz I don’t know myself but I would consult a perfessional SCHIZOAFFECTIVE/SCHIZOPHRENIA: I have schizoaffective, study ur voices visions demons alters etc. and drown them out with loud music or just listen to LoFi and meditate I try and snap my fingers by my ear , and then ask myself , is this real? Even if you can’t tell the difference, try to ask someone’s round u, did u hear/see that ? PARANIOA: I have this , same advice I gave on my schizoaffective disorder , ask someone who you can trust if it’s real or not but make sure there around u, scream at the demons . Anyways , thank u for being alive for being here for breathing!me having over 10 mental illnesses makes it hard To help myself but easy to help others I’m here always, Stay Alive_Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez (Me)🦋🦋