#content warnings on post

[multi-lefaiye]

i could ask you to elaborate on why purple boy is slowly turning into a lion monster. and you can answer that. but what i really wanna know is what killed him the first time.

:3c oh i am so glad you asked this question

short answer: his mother. or at least, the creature that used to be her.

long answer: WELL. (cw under the cut for non-graphic descriptions of body horror, discussions of ableism and terminal illness, and also just. straight up. i'm telling you how eden died. not going into graphic gorey detail but yeah </3)

so, eden's mom died when he was 12. famously, that's an event that really helped shape his life, second only to abdiel leaving six years earlier. however..... it's important to know that those two things are related.

y'see. eden doesn't know this. but hannah had been sick for a long time, and part of why abdiel left was to go find a cure for her. that's not what she wanted him to do, of course. hannah wanted him to stay with her so they could enjoy the time she had left. but he was determined to cure her and that he'd have to leave her in order to do so. so. welp. her wishes in this situation would have to wait.

another important part of this puzzle is that abdiel is a necromancer by trade. he knows other schools of magic as well, sure, but necromancy has always been his focus. and he specifically is a major proponent of the idea of using necromancy for healing, rather than simply resurrection. that's what much of his life's work was focused on.

so, abdiel sought to find a way to use necromancy to help cure his sick wife, and he failed, and she died. and eden, who was left feeling worthless and alone after his father abandoned him (and after basically all the adults in his life failed him, one way or another ), decided that part of his revenge would be destroying that work and making it his own.

eden would become the only dr. linnaeus remembered by history, by doing what abdiel had failed to do. by not only reviving hannah, but curing her illness entirely, and then using that to cure anyone else suffering like her who wants to be saved.

of course, by the time eden knew any necromancy magic himself, hannah was long dead. and... from a purely practical perspective, eden was nowhere near skilled enough as a spellcaster to be able to use any traditional necromancy to revive her. so eden decided, instead, to try something new.

he was going to revive his mother through transmutation magic, through the alchemy and artificer infusions he was already learning and showed a great affinity for.

i'll skip ahead in this explanation, but basically eden's idea was to create a new body for his mother's soul to inhabit. he wouldn't be reviving her in her original body, no, he'd be reviving her in one free of the pain and illness she'd suffered from for much of her life.

(before i continue, i'll just go ahead and establish this now: no, eden did not consider whether or not hannah would want to be resurrected. by this point, his tunnel vision on beating abdiel, one way or another, was beginning to consume him. ethical concerns didn't matter so much at that point.)

skipping ahead again. when eden finally succeeded at the ritual he'd created, it... backfired, putting it nicely. the creature he created wasn't hannah, not really--it had her face and it spoke in her voice, but it wasn't her. it was a mass of limbs and teeth, with too many eyes and an enraged howl that shook eden to his core.

he tried to reason with it at first, to get it to recognize him and calm down as it thrashed around his lab. and it lashed out at him, slashing him across the face and throwing him to the floor. and for a moment eden just... lied there, shaking and staring at the monster he'd created. it hurt. that thing wasn't his mother, but it was her face and her voice screaming at him, cursing him for creating it.

and then he was just... angry. how fucking dare this thing attack him? how dare it be such a failure? how dare it ruin everything he was working for? how dare it act like this was his fault?

before he really knew what he was doing, he grabbed a hammer from his artificer tools and lunged at the creature, intending to put it out of its misery so he could try again. clearly, he needed to refine the ritual, but he was on the right track. he just-

(eden managed to kill his creation, but it fought back and mortally wounded him in the process. he shoved its body into the open fire at the heart of his lab, where he'd brew potions and boil water when he needed it. and by that point, he was too exhausted to keep going and try to find help. so he just... lied there, and bled out slowly.)

(as a not-so-fun aside to this. when eden's body was found a few days later, there was an investigation launched by the university. a recent graduate dying brutally in his university-funded lab? yeah that raised some eyebrows. ultimately, though, said investigation determined that eden had killed himself, as by then the creature's remains were burned until they were unrecognizable. everyone assumed it was just some... *thing* he'd been studying.)

(very few people were surprised by that news.)

[tofixtheshadows]

I've been thinking a lot lately about how Kabru deprives himself.

Kabru as a character is intertwined with the idea that sometimes we have to sacrifice the needs of the few for the good of the many. He ultimately subverts this first by sabotaging the Canaries and then by letting Laios go, but in practice he's already been living a life of self-sacrifice.

Saving people, and learning the secrets of the dungeons to seal them, are what's important. Not his own comforts. Not his own desires. He forces them down until he doesn't know they're there, until one of them has to come spilling out during the confession in chapter 76.

Specifically, I think it's very significant, in a story about food and all that it entails, that Kabru is rarely shown eating. He's the deuteragonist of Dungeon Meshi, the cooking manga, but while meals are the anchoring points of Laios's journey, given loving focus, for Kabru, they're ... not.

I'm sure he eats during dungeon expeditions, in the routine way that adventurers must when they sit down to camp. But on the surface, you get the idea that Kabru spends most of his time doing his self-assigned dungeon-related tasks: meeting with people, studying them, putting together that evidence board, researching the dungeon, god knows what else. Feeding himself is secondary.

He's introduced during a meal, eating at a restaurant, just to set up the contrast between his party and Laios's. And it's the last normal meal we see him eating until the communal ending feast (if you consider Falin's dragon parts normal).

First, we get this:

Kabru's response here is such a non-answer, it strongly implies to me that he wasn't thinking about it until Rin brought it up. That he might not even be feeling the hunger signals that he logically knew he should.

They sit down to eat, but Kabru is never drawn reaching for food or eating it like the rest of his party. He only drinks.

It's possible this means nothing, that we can just assume he's putting food in his mouth off-panel, but again, this entire manga is about food. Cooking it, eating it, appreciating it, taking pleasure in it, grounding yourself in the necessary routine of it and affirming your right to live by consuming it. It's given such a huge focus.

We don't see him eat again until the harpy egg.

What a significant question for the protagonist to ask his foil in this story about eating! Aren't you hungry? Aren't you, Kabru?

He was revived only minutes ago after a violent encounter. And then he chokes down food that causes him further harm by triggering him, all because he's so determined to stay in Laios's good graces.

In his flashback, we see Milsiril trying to spoon-feed young Kabru cake that we know he doesn't like. He doesn't want to eat: he wants to be training.

Then with Mithrun, we see him eating the least-monstery monster food he can get his hands on, for the sake of survival- walking mushroom, barometz, an egg. The barometz is his first chance to make something like an a real meal, and he actually seems excited about it because he wants to replicate a lamb dish his mother used to make him!

...but he doesn't get to enjoy it like he wanted to.

Then, when all the Canaries are eating field rations ... Kabru still isn't shown eating. He's only shown giving food to Mithrun.

And of course the next time he eats is the bavarois, which for his sake is at least plant based ... but he still has to use a coping mechanism to get through it.

I don't think Kabru does this all on purpose. I think Kui does this all on purpose. Kabru's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder should be understood as informing his character just as much as Laios's autism informs his. It's another way that Kabru and Laios act as foils: where Laios takes pleasure in meals and approaches food with the excitement of discovery, Kabru's experiences with eating are tainted by his trauma. Laios indulges; Kabru denies himself. Laios is shown enjoying food, Kabru is shown struggling with it.

And I can very easily imagine a reason why Kabru might have a subconscious aversion towards eating.

Meals are the privilege of the living.

[cookinguptales]

So I’ve been enjoying the Disney vs. DeSantis memes as much as anyone, but like. I do feel like a lot of people who had normal childhoods are missing some context to all this.

I was raised in the Bible Belt in a fairly fundie environment. My parents were reasonably cool about some things, compared to the rest of my family, but they certainly had their issues. But they did let me watch Disney movies, which turned out to be a point of major contention between them and my other relatives.

See, I think some people think this weird fight between Disney and fundies is new. It is very not new. I know that Disney’s attempts at inclusion in their media have been the source of a lot of mockery, but what a lot of people don’t understand is that as far as actual company policy goes, Disney has actually been an industry leader for queer rights. They’ve had policies assuring equal healthcare and partner benefits for queer employees since the early 90s.

I’m not sure how many people reading this right now remember the early 90s, but that was very much not industry standard. It was a big deal when Disney announced that non-married queer partners would be getting the same benefits as the married heterosexual ones.

Like — it went further than just saying that any unmarried partners would be eligible for spousal benefits. It straight-up said that non-same-sex partners would still need to be married to receive spousal benefits, but because same-sex partners couldn’t do that, proof that they lived together as an established couple would be enough.

In other words, it put long-term same-sex partners on a higher level than opposite-sex partners who just weren’t married yet. It put them on the exact same level as heterosexual married partners.

They weren’t the first company ever to do this, but they were super early. And they were certainly the first mainstream “family-friendly” company to do it.

Conservatives lost their damn minds.

Protests, boycotts, sermons, the whole nine yards. I can’t tell you how many books about the evils of Disney my grandmother tried to get my parents to read when I was a kid.

When we later moved to Florida, I realized just how many queer people work at Disney — because historically speaking, it’s been a company that has guaranteed them safety, non-discrimination, and equal rights. That’s when I became aware of their unofficial “Gay Days” and how Christians would show up from all over the country to protest them every year. Apparently my grandmother had been upset about these days for years, but my parents had just kind of ignored her.

Out of curiosity, I ended up reading one of the books my grandmother kept leaving at our house. And friends — it’s amazing how similar that (terrible, poorly written) rhetoric was to what people are saying these days. Disney hires gay pedophiles who want to abuse your children. Disney is trying to normalize Satanism in our beautiful, Christian America. 

Just tons of conspiracy theories in there that ranged from “a few bad things happened that weren’t actually Disney’s fault, but they did happen” to “Pocahontas is an evil movie, not because it distorts history and misrepresents indigenous life, but because it might teach children respect for nature. Which, as we all know, would cause them all to become Wiccans who believe in climate change.”

Like — please, take it from someone who knows. This weird fight between fundies and Disney is not new. This is not Disney’s first (gay) rodeo. These people have always believed that Disney is full of evil gays who are trying to groom and sexually abuse children.

The main difference now is that these beliefs are becoming mainstream. It’s not just conservative pastors who are talking about this. It’s not just church groups showing up to boycott Gay Day. Disney is starting to (reluctantly) say the quiet part out loud, and so are the Republicans. Disney is publicly supporting queer rights and announcing company-supported queer events and the Republican Party is publicly calling them pedophiles and enacting politically driven revenge.

This is important, because while this fight has always been important in the history of queer rights, it is now being magnified. The precedent that a fight like this could set is staggering. For better or for worse, we live in a corporation-driven country. I don’t like it any more than you do, and I’m not about to defend most of Disney’s business practices. But we do live in a nation where rights are largely tied to corporate approval, and the fact that we might be entering an age where even the most powerful corporations in the country are being banned from speaking out in favor of rights for marginalized people… that’s genuinely scary.

Like… I’ll just ask you this. Where do you think we’d be now, in 2023, if Disney had been prevented from promising its employees equal benefits in 1994? That was almost thirty years ago, and look how far things have come. When I looked up news articles for this post from that era, even then journalists, activists, and fundie church leaders were all talking about how a company of Disney’s prominence throwing their weight behind this movement could lead to the normalization of equal protections in this country.

The idea of it scared and thrilled people in equal parts even then. It still scares and thrills them now.

I keep seeing people say “I need them both to lose!” and I get it, I do. Disney has for sure done a lot of shit over the years. But I am begging you as a queer exvangelical to understand that no. You need Disney to win. You need Disney to wipe the fucking floor with these people.

Right now, this isn’t just a fight between a giant corporation and Ron DeSantis. This is a fight about the right of corporations to support marginalized groups. It’s a fight that ensures that companies like Disney still can offer benefits that a discriminatory government does not provide. It ensures that businesses much smaller than Disney can support activism.

Hell, it ensures that you can support activism.

The fight between weird Christian conspiracy theorists and Disney is not new, because the fight to prevent any tiny victory for marginalized groups is not new. The fight against the normalization of othered groups is not new.

That’s what they’re most afraid of. That each incremental victory will start to make marginalized groups feel safer, that each incremental victory will start to turn the tide of public opinion, that each incremental victory will eventually lead to sweeping law reform.

They’re afraid that they won’t be able to legally discriminate against us anymore.

So guys! Please. This fight, while hilarious, is also so fucking important. I am begging you to understand how old this fight is. These people always play the long game. They did it with Roe and they’re doing it with Disney.

We have! To keep! Pushing back!

[dangeroustaintedflawed]

[mag200]

(me on a first date) and what do you think of the inherent intimacy of surgery? have you considered the love someone must have to put their hands under your skin and hold the most grotesque parts of you and put them back together nicely? is anyone really closer to you than that? we all get uh a little enamored on the surgery table don't we haha. wait come back

[the-real-google]

For every note this gets I'll personally kill a transphobe with my bare hands

[sugarflow]

i promised that id draw them kissing on twitter so here you go. have content warning and lethal guys smooching and bonkiing

[bamsara]

some scenes in my head for my fic. emotional support lamb.

[scalierpepper]

finally finished!! i've never made something like this before and it took a very long time but it was great getting a chance to test my art skills. (i this say full well knowing i just wanted to draw my favorite guys a million times). hope you enjoy :)

[strangeasexuallegume]

Both of the Pines twins could easily pull Pacifica if they wanted to, it’s simply a matter of if she’d be willing to openly admit she can have feelings, especially after a whole night of admitting her family’s dirty laundry

[screwpinecaprice]

They're on a vacation.

[salt-n-salt]

SHANE BRAINROT DUMP 🤫🤫 i wish i could take a bite out of him like a gummy 💔

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Reasons to play In Stars and Time: Canon Pronoun Warfare.

[psykoe100]

day 1: sunflower 🌻

HAPPY MOB WEEK Y’ALL

[needle-noggins]

(CW for SA, suicidal ideation) Here we go. My favorite and simultaneously least favorite panel of Vash and Knives.

I've seen a few interpretations of this scene and before we dive into the one that really struck me, let's start with the more... chill one. We're finally introduced to the third gun of Trigun, Vash's angel arm. And the way we're introduced to it involves Knives forcing him to pull the trigger. Of course, since no one knows anything about Knives, the people of Noman's Land blame Vash for Fifth Moon, and Vash likewise blames himself (this is kinda a spoiler but if you've been paying attention, it's just par for the course). However, he's not the one who pulled the trigger, Knives is. It brings up an interesting moral question of blame - do we blame the gun (and Vash, who is being used/objectified as a weapon here), or the person who wanted it to happen? Guns don't kill people, genocidal twins do!

Now for the awful interpretation, the one that makes me cry and wish Vash was real so I could hug him and pay for his therapy. And really highlights how awful Knives is and how far he'd go for his brother in his own, fucked-up way. I touched on this in a previous post about Legato and the Murder Cafe, and the whole time I was thinking about Fifth Moon but didn't want to say anything for the sake of spoilers.

So. Pay attention to the way Vash and Knives are standing. Knives, when he first grabbed Vash's head, was standing in front of him. He moves behind him to better control him and yeah, he's still controlling him via hand on head, and now he's got his other hand gripping Vash's chest, where feathers/wings are manifesting. Knives is assaulting him. If you wanna get crazy with it and say that the angel arm is kinda phallic, you could say... yeah. This is rape. I heard that specific interpretation once and while I accepted it I also don't know if that would be generally accepted or if I'd be called out for it, so I'm trying to tread lightly here.

It also doesn't escape me that of course the angel arm has feminine features like the plants - the plants that, again, humans are exploiting for their ability to create. There's a lot of feminist commentary to be made here but many people have said it better than me. Specifically I'm thinking of this one post I saw about gender fuckery and Tristamp Vash. Anyway.

Also, the atomic bomb/black hole/sun/whatever that is in the middle... It's just so powerful. It's terrifying. The eldritch body horror here is a punch to the gut. What the fuck, Trigun? I thought this was a funky space western!!!

Oh, and here's more commentary on the following few panels:

Vashussy shot, Knives is still right behind him. Yeah, I wasn't kidding about how bad this pose is for them. Knives, you sick fuck.

Vash shoots himself in the leg (a key difference from '98 trigun, lol), because of course he does, but it doesn't free him from the arm.

The arm's getting darker/the light inside is getting lighter! Stampede did an awesome job with their interpretation of the angel arm and I don't think I would have understood it without that. Also, on my first read I didn't notice that Vash is literally levitating, which is cool, but also terrifying because ?? he's not in control of that either??

Finally. A super painful, minimalist, double-page spread. Nightow loves 'em. Vash thinks he's dying (maybe?) and he wishes he had never existed. It's not suicidal ideation per se, but he wishes he didn't exist at all because he's already caused enough suffering. This is a low for him, because he believes so strongly in the concept of the Blank Ticket. (Come on, soupy brain bitch boy, get it together!) He's a monster, it's just how he was born, and he's not in control. Very specifically too, he says "we", and then changes it to "I"... he doesn't blame Knives at all, and that's very him. I want to shake him! Stop playing the martyr, Vash!

[cupid-tune]

Sometimes I get curious about the alpha troll session, how much we don't know about and can only speculate on. I really enjoy the interpretations people come up with, the multitude of possibilities there are.

I'm especially interested in the events already talked about, I want to know exactly what happened and what caused them. There's so much left in the dark about Mituna's accident, how much of it was an accident, how much was planned.

With the ties Kurloz and Damara have to Lord English's arrival, I'm sure there was a lot of planning that went through to the other sessions.

But an Heir of Doom would've been too dangerous for their plans, able to snuff out the preparations and prepare everyone for battle before they even knew of English's existence.

He had to be stopped before that, it wasn't worth the risk.

So I wonder if Kurloz had anything to do with the actual accident, or he really was just a bystander happening to witness that fated moment.

Who knows if there really was any danger, if Mituna's incident really was something heroic that saved the others.

Or if Mituna played right into the tricks, and Kurloz only created a threat to make him and the others feel better. To give reason to his accident.

I do think he would still feel guilt about what he did, but it had to be done regardless. It's the same with Meulin, Kurloz didn't mean to cause this much damage, nor was it part of the plan. He's shrouded in mystery to the point that no one knows how he really feels, his actions don't align with his grief. It must be frustrating to know all the harm you caused to those closest to you was all in vain, that with the loss of everything you worked so hard for, you really are just a bad person at the end of the day.