#critter assist

[putterpen]

"Good morning little buddy, your parents are here to take you home. Lets go say hi."

Showing Cimon (Catnap) and Doug's (Dogday) jobs. I wanted to give them jobs that may seem weirdly opposite their personalities yet something they would also be good at.

Cimon is a pediatric nurse so he gets to work with the babies and newborns at Teddy Paw Hospital. Everyone said that despite his taciturn personality and penchant for dark places...kids love him. And a crying infant always seems to calm down in his sleepy swaying embrace. He usually works the night shift but the schedule can be all over the place. Meaning Cimon is tired a lot but in the quietness of the infant ward that he dutifully guards, he is content.

"Looks like it's almost time for your big send off. Your family worked hard on the arrangements and I know you'll love it. See you later, friend."

Doug is a small guy with a big heart. He has a lot to give which is probably why his friends and many people in Playton Village love the guy. From Bubba's insecurities about his grades to a grieving parent or spouse, Doug seems to always know exactly what to say.

Death also doesn't seem to bother him so somehow he found himself a job as a mortician.

[jusletmedie]

''Someone told me i should tell you to stop eating stuff that looks worse than ussual in the facility!''

- Drone#S4m8Y2 [⚙️]

Oh.

Yeah no I want to I'm bored

[kissingwookiees]

if anyone has gained a new curiosity for deep sea exploration since the titan sub incident i'm gonna recommend one of my longtime favorite chill educational activities which is the nautilus live youtube channel which often livestreams their remotely operated seafloor expeditions. great stuff if you're a fan of marine science.

[phoenix-lich]

Have the plushie I’ve been workin on for the last two and a half months But Horrorboros turned out so cute QwQ Took me a long while to make this as I never use a sewin machine for plushies haha xD When I saw this critter in Splatoon for the first time I knew I had to make a plushie of it Inside the “fryin pan” in its mouth is actually a little speaker that will play the scream it makes ingame... not very loudly tho sadly Big thanks to my good friend and assistant who would go out in hot weather to hold the Horrorboros up in front of these neat backgrounds and to lemme use his backpack for the closeup pics!

[rxzennia]

rare critters

– tales of the voracity pathstrider

✎𓂃 a healthy dose of curiosity (ft. dr ratio) yall if i have to write another report i think i might kms sorry im 3 days late lol i was busy making concept art 

when dr ratio somehow acquired a few rare critters from herta space station, he thought of one person:

aventurine.

if he’s so bad at looking after himself, maybe he could take care of something else instead. and these cat cakes are pretty tame and adorable… seems just right for him.

ratio sent a text to let aventurine know he’s coming to drop off some souvenirs

said souvenirs being these critters

ratio has one on top of his head and two in one arm as he rings the bell

it’s sometime in the afternoon, and you’re not around

(you’re attending a meeting on aventurine’s behalf so he can have a longer lunch break)

(you do that pretty often, actually. that’s why your boss can have entire afternoons or evenings to himself)

nothing would’ve prepared ratio for what he sees when aventurine opens the door

one, no, two? no, three?? faceless serpents slithering around his feet

and one really huge one around his neck???

their maws, aeons, their maws. as stunned as ratio is, he’s also scared shitless

they remind him of a certain aeon and he isn’t sure if he liked the implications

though, that aeon has long since disappeared…

the very moment the serpents sniffed something in the air, they’re all right up in ratio’s face

the trash cakes are definitely scared shitless

they’re quivering and whimpering

ratio is trying so hard to hide his unease

“since when did you have pets, gambler?”

“oh, they’re my assistant’s – don’t bite, please.”

and these dangerous, dangerous noodles listened???

they backed off obediently while still scenting the air again and again

at least they’re not one hair away from ratio anymore?

wait, more importantly…

“you’re living with your assistant?” ratio can’t help but ask. “and… they brought their pets over?”

technically, the slithery creatures around the house aren’t your pets, they’re literally parts of you, but does aventurine want to get into the details? not particularly.

“doctor, it’d be heartless of me to tell them to leave their pets,” aventurine chuckled, “it’s a long story. are these…?”

“i thought pets would do you some good. seems like your assistant has the same idea.” ratio passes the three cakes over to him. “here – from the space station.”

aventurine tells the especially thick leviathan on his neck to get off so he could hold the trash cakes

more like patting its body a few times until it got the signal and slid off of him

the cakes like him!

once he’s passed the sniff test, the cakes are all over him

they do remind him of someone, with those yellow eyes and grey… trash can(?) like body…

he holds them carefully, because unlike your creatures, he needs to hold onto these little guys

else they’d fall

invites ratio in while he’s at it, and he sits down to properly examine them

ratio watches aventurine for a moment, until your serpents catch his attention

oh, he’s so unnerved by them, but also…

he’s so curious! his scholarly senses are telling him to seize the opportunity!

are they really the same creatures as the ones depicted in the scriptures for oroboros?

how did aventurine get his hands on them? or rather, how did you get your hands on them?

and why are they so, so… docile, if they are really what he thinks they are?

what have you done!? how did you get them to be your pets?

his academic interest in you might have just skyrocketed

he engages in a staring contest with a creature with no eyes

somehow, somehow he just knows it’s a staring contest

he’s debating between approaching or not

they look like they would snap his neck before he could even react

“don’t try it, doctor,” aventurine warns, reading ratio’s actions from a mile away, “they’ll probably bite.”

“huh…” ratio makes a sound of pure wonder as he stands still, staring at the few noodles slithering over each other and scenting the air around him. “how did you tame them, then?”

“i didn’t.” aventurine shrugs as he plays with the new critters in his arms. “just sit tight, my assistant should be back soon.”

does that mean you’re the one deciding who gets to touch your serpents and who doesn't???

meanwhile aventurine has taken to the cakes from the space station

they’re so delicate and adorable, with their huge eyes and how stretchy they are

such a contrast to your huge serpents

your serpents are curious about them too, it seems

they keep trying to slither up aventurine’s legs

he has to keep pushing them down, all the while their maws opened and closed

trying to get a feel for the taste of these critters

not trying to outright eat them, just trying to get a taste

ratio is itching to just… grab one of your noodles

he can’t

how devastating

just then, the door opens with a click

“i’m home, aven.” you enter and practically throws your shoes off. 

the sudden need to retain some semblance of formality in your home feels foreign to you now, but you’ve sensed someone else’s presence. it can’t be helped, even if the name aven feels odd on your tongue.

weird, aventurine usually runs out the moment he hears you

when you made your way to the living room, you see him and… some random guy?

said random guy looks like he’s into greek mythology?

is he like zeus or something

no, more like male athena or something

“oh, welcome back!” aventurine perks up as he lifts one of the cakes and shows it to you like a proud parent. “look at these little guys!”

your eyes never quite look away from the stranger, but you also dazedly take the critter into your arms. “this is…”

you immediately catch ratio’s eye – the way you carry yourself, the way the ends of your scarf seem to move on their own, and the way the few serpents find their way up your neck without so much as trying to touch the cake in your hands (even though they’ve been trying to taste it when it was in aventurine’s arms).

“veritas ratio.” he stands up before aventurine could introduce him and offers you a handshake. “you might know me as dr ratio of the intelligentsia guild.”

you stare at him without much of a reaction

his hand stays outstretched as he watches you expectantly

after a few seconds, you give his hand a firm shake and introduce yourself

you do know him, actually, you’ve read a few of his works

you quite liked his takes on philosophy and natural theology

he’s very insightful for a mortal

“can i help you?” you ask, because you don’t think ratio would bother talking to you if he hadn't been curious about something.

“your pets are most fascinating,” he gets straight to the point, “may i examine them?”

???

your pets?

the serpents? 

you look to aventurine, who just turns away like he didn’t tell ratio those are your pets

you pinch the bridge of your nose and exhales exasperatedly

then again, perhaps calling them your pets is the best course of action right now

because the other option is spilling the beans about yourself

yeah

so… nice save, aventurine

you set down the critter in your arms on a nearby table and turn to face the doctor

“here.” you pick up one of your leviathans and guide it over to ratio. “they might do… things around you, but they won’t hurt you.”

ratio tries not to flinch when the heavy leviathan slither up his arm and coil around his neck loosely, but he winces and backs away slightly anyway. “how are you so certain?” he watches the creature with so much wonder as it scents him, then lifts its head so he can stare at it properly. or the other way around; so it can stare at him properly. who knows.

a healthy dose of cynicism is always good

it’s not like you don’t understand where he’s coming from

you shrug, because you really have no better answer without outing yourself

“i have them trained.” you say, but at this point you’re just pulling shit out of your ass

aventurine immediately covers his mouth to hide a snort

you shoot him a quick glare

you run a hand along its smooth body to show ratio that yes, he can touch them

its maw opens a little wider and drools a little onto the carpet

ratio carefully puts his hand on top of its head

it turns its head on contact and nudges against his hand

trying to scent the thing touching it (aka ratio’s hand)

but it doesn’t do anything other than what appears to be purely harmless scenting

could this possibly be the subject of his next paper?

“don’t think about it, doctor.” you cut him off the moment you see the telltale glint of academic interest in his eyes. 

“i must disagree; they are of leviathan descent, are they not?” ratio asks, now caressing the big noodle with both hands and handling it with less hesitation than before, “this is of utmost significance; they might shed some light on the mystery of oroboros the voracity.”

you narrow your eyes at ratio

he doesn’t even try to prod around the subject, he just hits you in the face with it

as expected of such an erudite scholar, but still

(aventurine is watching the interaction with much interest while he plays with the cats)

(it’s like he’s enjoying the show)

(the remaining free serpents of yours has coiled up by his feet and fallen asleep)

(since they’ve realized aventurine doesn’t want them near the cakes)

you don’t want to bring too much attention to yourself, or your serpents

you don’t want things about oroboros to spread, either

in fact, you’re quite thankful to the enigmata and the ipc for heavily censoring them 

“with all due respect, i refuse.” you do not allow any room for disagreement. “you are prepared to uncover the truth. is the rest of the cosmos ready?”

that’s not all of your argument, but the one you determine would be enough to keep ratio from conducting and publishing research about leviathans for now. oh, right – you’re not against ratio’s curiosity. you simply don’t want that curiosity to spread far and wide.

ratio frowns, not expecting such a swift rejection from you, but you do have a point. he’s a little blinded by his excitement.

your rejection sounds a little personal, if aventurine may say so himself

to ratio, it is very much just you being overprotective of your pets

as all pet owners do

to be fair, it’s hard to say. ratio is a sharp man

you stare at him, and he stares at you

the leviathan hanging on his neck tilts its head in confusion

if ratio is anything, he’s persistent

especially when it comes to knowledge

he opens his mouth to try to convince you again

you beat him to it and raise a hand to stop him from talking. “you can examine them for as long as you do not make publications.”

ratio is taken aback, his brows furrowing as you give him permission for further interaction with these descendants of ancient leviathans. this is your first meeting, so why –

in fact, aventurine is wondering the same thing

like, why are you getting along with the doctor so well when you’ve only met today

he’s not jealous or anything, he just has a huge question mark on your reactions

you’re usually very, very guarded against people who ask questions

especially about your scarf

but then ratio did see your serpents slithering around

perhaps you see no way of weaselling your way out of this?

anyway

if we’re being honest, ratio also has a huge question mark on your reactions

“i am a fan of your philosophical works,” you say, guiding your serpent back around you, “hence i am willing to satisfy your curiosity… provided you agree to my terms. think of it as an invitation.”

ratio takes a moment to mull over your words. to think that someone under the ipc has read multiple of his works, and has enjoyed them… is that why you are willing to compromise? but, well… you give him a feeling of a learned person. perhaps he will enjoy debating you.

“very well, that is good enough.” he nods, even if he still feels just a little bit disappointed, he’s anticipating a good back-and-forth with you already. “in that case…”

“i will let you know when i am free.” you sit down next to aventurine and let the critters on his lap crawl over to you and knead your thigh with their little paws. “and, doctor?”

it’s apparent to you that ratio has the same thought as you did when you decided to let your serpents drop their disguises at home. you glance towards aventurine next to you, then back at the doctor.

“thanks for the critters.”

[mintsuwu]

MORE SMILING CRITTERS FAMILY HEADCANONS WAHOO!! I do apologize in advance as this post will be shorter BUT THERE ARE MORE PICTURES!!!

Bubba Bubbaphant

Bubba Bubbaphant comes from a family deeply rooted in love, passion, and a sense of responsibility towards others. His mother was a botanist, brimming with a profound affection for plants, while his father embarked on adventurous explorations as a researcher. Despite their differing pursuits, they formed a tight-knit family unit where love and care flourished.

Sadly, his mother's life was cut short by a debilitating disease that drained her vitality, leaving an indelible mark on Bubba's heart. Witnessing her struggle ignited in him a fervent desire to become a doctor in the future, driven by the aspiration to alleviate suffering and potentially save lives, just as he had hoped to do for his mother.

But even after the profound loss, the relationship with his father remained strong, as the latter balances his adventurous spirit with unwavering dedication to his family. Despite the demands of his work, he cherishes every moment spent with Bubba, recognizing the importance of being present in his son's life. He carves out moments to spend quality time with him, sharing experiences and imparting valuable knowledge gained from his explorations as the young one shares information about the adventures he has with his friends

Mr. Bubbaphant embodies the essence of a true gentleman, extending kindness and assistance to those in need without hesitation. His demeanor and wisdom reflected the refinement and kindness instilled in his son, earning him a reputation as an absolute gentleman.

Their familial circle extends to Kickin'Chicken´s family, as he is friends with his mother, Clucketta, forging a close friendship between families. Recognizing the demands of parenthood, Mr. Bubbaphant would occasionally assist Clucketta by taking on babysitting duties, providing her with much-needed respite while her husband Rockin´ Rooster is away on his own endeavors.

Through their shared experiences and mutual respect, Bubba learns the value of compassion, friendship, and the importance of standing by those they care about.

BONUS: Kickin´ was the only one of the Smiling Critters who got to know Bubba´s mother before she passed away. And after her loss he made sure to be there to support his friend all the way just like the young elephant had done for him in the past.

Kickin'Chicken (Part ||)

Rockin'Rooster is a renowned singer in the Smiling Critters universe and the father of Kickin' Chicken. Despite his fame, Rockin' spends little time with his family, prioritizing his career over them.

Kickin' idolizes his father, despite his older sister Pecky harboring resentment towards him for his selfishness. Though Rockin' favors Pecky, hoping she'll continue his musical legacy, but she rejects his expectations. Instead, she enjoys music with her friends for fun as she even plays in a band with them, but she doesn't seek for fame or fortune. Rockin' later shifts his attention to Kickin', who adores his father but longs for more family connection. The young boy feels overwhelmed by his many younger siblings, as his father's absence is often filled with new additions to the family. But despite this, Kickin' loves his family deeply.

Clucketta, Kickin's mother, once shared Rockin's passion for music, but she now focuses on supporting her family. She sacrificed her own career as a dancer before moving to Jolly Valley (I still have to think of a name for the town though) in order to live a happy and peaceful life... Despite the family's imperfections. And though she no longer wears her Merry Charm, when she does, she keeps her pendant hidden as it makes her feel nostalgic of the times where she could pursue her passion for dancing.

BONUS: Adult Kickin' design! I like to imagine that he becomes some sort of dancing teacher in the future.

[talesofsonicasura]

To Save A DogDay

I couldn't help but write this after seeing the constant dedication of saving the giant toy doggo. So here's something to assist you guys in the effort. I've done some research(even though Google was being an ass) and took a look at this particular post by @dafloof

First off, DogDay is surprisingly big despite being cut in half. If I have to compare his size then think of those giant plushies you win from a theme park or carnival game. Thus the only possible carry for the average person to safely escort him is bridal or hanging off like a koala on the side due to the grab pack. He might be able to shrink himself to a more manageable size if DogDay is similar to CatNap in body structure.

Although that doesn't mean the task is impossible outside of adrenaline. DogDay may be big you got to think about his possible weight. Bigger Bodies are still toys with the Smiling Critters being plushies. How much of him is stuffing and not organs?

The necessary body parts for him to still be alive are the lungs, heart, brain, stomach, and some sort of skeletal structure. Here's a weight chart for the average human. (Although these might be smaller if harvested back as a child than an adult.)

Stomach: 2-4 pounds/lbs

Brain- 2.5 pounds/lbs

Heart- 0.25 pounds/lbs

Lungs- 1.8 pounds/lbs

Human Skeleton- 15-25 pounds/lbs

Average weight here 21.05 - 31.05 lbs. His arm bones might be reinforced similar to the Prototype but they still wouldn't be that heavy. For carrying in your arms, 35- 55 lbs is what the the untrained person can hold. Body weight contributes to how much someone can carry with a 139 lbs untrained woman being able to deadlift around 74 lbs. For men it is 125 lbs for 148 lbs.

Adrenaline can help contribute to this as there have been feats done by people in dangerous situations. One example being a human mother fighting off a polar bear to protect her kids or someone moving a car by themselves to get free. We can do insane things when it comes to survival.

There's also the mental side to this. Our brains actually diminish the perception of how strong we are by 40%. If you carry something you love or cherish like a person, then they can weigh less just from that viewpoint. Sometimes thinking like the Little Engine That Could will make a difference.

Now I am not forgetting the dangerous little critters. There are ways to deal with them and have enough time to bring DogDay along. In his cell, there are two ports they can crawl out of. Blocking these whether by flares or stuffing them with nearby items can do the trick.

Second is bribery. We aren't restricted to the environment like in the game and throughout the facility there are intact vending machines. The toys obviously need to eat but seem unable get into the machines. YOU CAN.

Break the glass and stockpile as much snacks as possible. Finding bags or boxes to carry them wouldn't be hard. Offer these to the little Critters in exchange for DogDay. You can open one bag for further incentive as the chance to get a special treat is something no one will be able to resist.

DogDay might be able to drag himself so breaking the chains with the Grab Pack or a different tool is possible. They are probably rusty thus easier to break. It will obviously hurt for DogDay to drag his body so stealing something like a cushion from CatNap's hideyhole could ease the pain.

Should that not be the case then other options are available. Considering Playcare is a fun house, you might be able to find scooterboards or a platform cart to carry him. If not then a makeshift sled to pull DogDay about is the next best move.

Now there's actually another escape route. A duck ride that you couldn't access in the game due to bugs. I think Mob was planning for a chase down there as it is fully fleshed out with puzzles and an environment.

DogDay can hold onto the boat while you solve the puzzles to get out. For those who hadn't chosen bribery then flares will keep pursuing Little Critters away. Maybe set a fire as you escape since there's plenty of items to make a molotov cocktail if crafty enough.

I suggest finding some walkie talkies as someone needs to look after DogDay. The area under the statue can be a possible safe spot but being able to contact Kissy Missy and Poppy will better the chances of his recovery than just survival. Both know the factory's inner works enough to remain hidden so they might know where to find supplies. A possible ally with valuable info can sway them to help.

There is also the option of coming back to Playcare. DogDay might still be alive as you can hear his muffled cries during the chase. He might be worse for wear due to the little menaces piloting him like a bootleg Megazord. Walkie talkies can help you page Kissy Missy to help with escorting the Bigger Body safely.

It is possible to save DogDay if you are smart or crafty enough to use the environment. The factory offers a lot of potential options to help with that. Do know that you can turn a simple water gun into a flamethrower.

Why follow the rules of the game when there are ways to break them?

[emilyomily]

I created a site to make it easy to see which critters are currently available to catch in ACNH

I hated having to manually look up which critters were available in the current month, and memorising what time I had to look out for them in-game, or going back and forth checking if I had already caught some of them. So I built this site!

Essentially, when you first open the site, it will display which critters are currently available to be caught based on the selected hemisphere (the default is northern). And there are sliders you can use to change the time and month to see critters that are available at any time you choose!

I also added filters for critters that appear all day and all year, and you can also just view all critters available in the current month if you want to!

You can also easily mark the critters you've already caught. (They are saved using local storage).

When you click on any of the critters icons, you will see information about it's rarity, location, shadow sizes, prices, and speed levels. These are all displayed with custom icons to make it easy to see where you need to go and what you need to look for at first glance!

I hope you all find it useful! :))

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hello hello!! I was not expecting requests to be open again so fast, but i am DEVOURING your writing, so i shan't complain!

What about Dogday getting saved by a teenager who’s desensitized to the horrors of the factory? Like of course, they’re perturbed, but aside from initially seeing Dogday(because holy shit), the biggest reaction they’ll give is a cringe and a “eugh” or some other mild exclamation of “that’s fucked up.” Essentially just Dogday interacting with a kid who’s weirdly chill with the circumstances and tries to be silly sometimes despite the persisting horrors.

Thank you so much and have a wonderful day/night!!!

Awe thanks! Have a good day/night too!

.......

"You..you're Poppy's angel..come to save us-"

"Eugh..what the hell happened to you?"

While back in the day, Dogday would've scolded you for using profane language...he finds it understandable considering you discovered him in his....erm..current condition.

The initial shock of seeing him would have anybody from outside the factory deeply disturbed.

But he's surprised that you're not fully freaked out and didn't run away.

Instead you manage to get him out of the Playhouse (while curbstomping a few little critters who tried crawling into his body along the way) and found a safe spot to rest.

Despite his insistence that you should leave him, you point out that he mentioned you saving him earlier.

"When you said "us", I thought that included you, too."

"I-I meant the others. The ones who can still walk..and still have a fighting chance. Look at me, kid. All I'm gonna do is weigh you down."

"....I mean, you are kinda heavy. But I've lifted worse with this grabpack. I got you."

He's confused by how oddly calm you are about everything.

If you were able to get down this far in the facility, you would've had to cross paths with Huggy, Mommy, Catnap, and Miss Delight at some point.

By all accounts, you definitely should've been traumatized at least from seeing all the bloody toys laying around.

Yet you're cool as a cucumber as you try your best to fix him (with assistance from Kissy, Ollie, and Poppy, of course, who are stunned you came out of the Playhouse alive)

Dogday remembers how scared the children were during the Hour of Joy, comforting them as he helped them flee the terror...so to be comforted by a kid now felt strange.

Yet your calm demeanor helps ground him whenever he starts to have a panic attack over Catnap finding him or if he feels like a critter or two is already inside of him, trying to take hold and eat whatever organs he had remaining (but it's just a sensation he feels from time to time).

You snap him out of it by asking rather silly questions.

"What if I stuck a flare in your mouth? Would that deter them?"

"...what? Um...I-I suppose that could work, but hopefully it's not a theory we have to test anytime soon.."

Even if Poppy decided to show you the Hour of Joy tape (which he had to look away from and tried persuading you to do the same), your only reaction is a slight grimace and a simple "damn wtf....you guys think any of those workers were running late or didn't go in that day?"

Dogday is shocked you'd joke at a time like this...but she knows you better and tells him you're just like That(tm).

You do care about them. You do wanna destroy the Prototype and save whoever you can along the way--including him.

It just may take some time for him to get used to your personality.

[msdoodlesposts]

Playcare Assistant Player au.

(The giant smiling critters are robots)

(The playtime factory is a good place to work at-minus a few osha violations)

-Player decides that Rich needs some help relaxing-

(Not dirty)

“Oh come on Rich”

“No, N-O” Rich spoke arms crossing as he glared at Player before glaring at the giant fluffy purple cat known as Catnap looking at him from the equally large cat bed that he lay on.

Player put their hands on their hips “This can be good for you, Avery and the missus says you been more stress lately and cuddling with a cat helps a lot” You spoke trying to get your point across “it could be good for your blood pressure”

“One neither of them should be talking to you about that and two you shouldn’t be running a cuddle ring when the critters are charging” Rich countered back.

Player lightly bit the bottom, ok so they may have been letting lower level playtime co workers sneak into the charging area where the critters were left to charge after playing with the kids but in there defense playtime co shouldn’t have made large cuddly animals and since they started doing that production levels have raised more and even though the critters were charging they still like the attention so it was a win win situation(They might have been also charging 5 bucks for cuddles but that was a different subject).

“Just give it a try Richie it really good for the body to relax and plus the gang enjoys the attention too”

Rich kept his straight face but while he wouldn’t admit it while being lead to catnap aera he did see other employees hanging out with the other larges animals,

Some coloring with CraftyCorn, others with KickinChicken listening to sports on a hand held radio and he was pretty sure he saw Avery hanging with Dogday (traitor).

“So?”

“…Still no”

Player made a bit of a face before signing “You left me no choice…CatNap grab him”

Rich snorted “Do you honestly think I’m just gonna let him grab me-“ he froze a bit feeling the tail wrap around his middle, might have forgotten he could do that.

“Wait-no! Catnap!”

Player grinned as Rich was basically dragged to the cat bed and Catnap settle the grumpy man beside him before playing a paw on his chest and releasing his tail grip.

Player wish they had a camera as they watch Rich struggle under the cat’s paw for a few minutes before making a noise and flop back down with a annoyed expression.

“You can’t hold me here forever!”

“No just till you hour break is over, I’ll see you then!” You spoke and turned around and headed out of the room to do your rounds grinning as you heard catnap purr happily at the company and Rich’s angry mutters.

[tokyozilla]

🍁✨Theyre here! Please welcome the Voxien!✨🍁 Comes with a unity package, 2 substance painter files, blender file, a PSD with layers for shading/highlights, and more! Further details are available in the link as well as being the spot to snag the avatar! tokyozilla.gumroad.com/l/Voxien Additional HUGE thank you to my friend Jin [@/MamaSnuppy] for rigging and making this avatar come to life, and my beloved girlfriend Scarlett [@/PartyPrat] for redlining and guidance on the direction this critter took!!! ;W;/ Incredibly thankful to these two for their endless help and assistance with me making this vrchat model!

[tinydefector]

Rut Cycle- Jazz

Jazz x human

Word count: 2k

Rut cycle masterlist

Jazz masterlist

Warnings: Smut, Size difference, Alpha/Omega hinted, Heat/Ruts, creampie, Oral

Other info: I've got a vote going for who you guys want next but this is a full on Gen 1 ones hot series I'm making.

__________________

The whole autobot base is on high alert due to everyone's rut cycle hitting. The multiple meeting between the Autobots and Decepticons over a ceasefire truce for Rut cycles. Jazz's Engine lets out a churn of noises as he leans back against his berth, he had decided it was for the best he retire after the meetings, it meant he was less likely to have problems with the scent of the human allies that also roamed the Ark, most of the humans had been asked to go home for the next week and a bit but a few still hung around. 

The soft sound of knocking breaks Jazz out of his thoughts as he moves towards the door to see who it is. Jazz’s visor flickers as he sees his favourite little human standing at his doorstep with a cube of energon on a cart for him. They smile as they look up at him. “Boss bot said you'd be back here, thought I'd drop you off a cube and come hang out if you're up for it” they state while pushing it into his room. 

 Primus they weren't helping the situation despite how much they tried to assist the bots, how close they came To nearly being snatched up by starscream in their meeting early, he knew it was just the rut and how sweet their scent was to the bots but even he was getting close to his limits with how much he could handle before he eventually succumb to the old coding. 

He cycled a deep ventilation, savouring the sweet crystal high grade smell wafting from their form. It makes his sensors ache and his engine whine in need. “ thanks Lil’ Bit. Yer always lookin’ out fer us bots.” He hums as he leans down to grab the Energon Cube. Primus, they stirred circuitry like nothing ever had. 

“Reckon ya better skedaddle now, ‘fore things get outta hand round here. We’ll be right as rain once this wave passes... but it ain’t no place fer a little sweet thing like yerself,  while tension are High with the Cons.” Most of the Bots hadn't Told the humans the reason as to why they had been asked to leave, many believed it was because of the Decepticons, and the Autobots not wanting any harm to come to them, in truth that was only part of the reason, the other part was how their scent made the cybertronians Rut worse and many of them weren't willing to risk hurting any of their allies Due to it. Didn’t stop Jazz from wishing, though, just for a taste, but he knew it wouldn't stop at just a taste.

Slight worry crosses their face as they look up at Jazz.  "Robo flu?, you didn't get that static bug again, or that little critter the Cons made which caused so much issue in the base last time" They teasingly inquire as they press a hand to his plating as if to check him for a fever out of habit. 

a ragged vent of air leaves him at their touch, joints locking to steel against surging charge and wanting to grab them. Plating heated beneath their hand. His visor lit with barely-restrained longing as azure optics peered down at their concerned face. "Ain't no bug, cher," he lamented softly. "Jus' a bit of a... condition we bots get sometimes. Nuthin' t' worry yer pretty headplate 'bout." 

Gentle digits itched to trace the curve of their cheek, taste their skin against glossa sensors gone mad with need. But he'd offlined his hardsuit protocols, locking down his traitorous system until after they left the room. His frame grew hotter with each passing breem. 

"Ya best skedaddle now, sweetspark." His field pulsed bittersweet promise of a raincheck, "And leave you by your lonesome while Prowl's even more foul?, could keep you company and get you energon when you need it, plus don't need you having a short circuit while i'm gone, cant have my favourite DJ sick can i?" The sweet scent on their skin has Jazz nearly drooling as they offer to stay with him and keep him company. 

Jazz cycled a shuddering vent engine whining loudly in need, grip creaking upon his half-empty cube as lithe form crossed their arms as they moved to make themself comfortable on his berth that was now piled with Blankets, tarps, polish clothes. 

His systems flashing warning as the magnetic field begged surrender to baser instincts, he desperately wanted to interface or at least let off some steam before he lost his mind and control. "Gonna hafta refuse that favour, li'l sweet. Y'got no idea ... th' things ya do t'me right now." His digits flexed, aching to caress them, claim. He walks to the other side of the room as if an injured animal that's cornered.  

Optics linger over their temptin' outline, memorising every curve as if famine-struck. "Please, lil' spark. F'r both our sakes." His Field pulsed apologetically for cutting their visit short, but he couldn't risk them. They stand up on the berth as he walks around in circles. 

Worry lingers on their face as they try to calm him down. “Jazzie talk to me, you're walking around like a cornered animal and you're worrying me” they state as he stops in front of them, his frame stiff as he holds off one last attempt to let them leave before he does something he would regret. Jazz nearly purrs as they cup his face looking up at his visor. Their hands feel divine against his faceplate. 

 The last shred of Jazz's ironclad control sheared away as they ran their fingers across his faceplate holding his face as they stared into his optics as sparked couples would. Tender servo curls around their waist as he uses a digit to lift their chin as a rumble resonated from his cracked spark.  "So sweet t'care... but ya jus' don' understand, li'l sweetspark." Trembling digits traced the fragile line of their face, unable to withstand their pull any longer. 

A deep, subsonic field pulsed from his frame. “I think I've got enough of an idea” they state while pressing their lips to his. A thundering roar leaves his engine as he grabs hold of them pulling them up against his frame as his lips desperately move against theirs. Tasting the sweet yet sinful flavour that is their skin. 

 He cycled his systems,warnings flashing critical. but Primus, how he ached to finally seize what haunted his every fantasised line of code...They whined loudly against his lips, his name muttered between breaths.

All of Jazz's fraying restraint snapped like cheap cabling. A strangled keen tore from his vocalizer as delicate grip yanked them flush against Plating as he eagerly pressed them down against the berth. 

He seized their jaw in a trembling servo, glossa delving past yielding lips with a starved groan. They taste like ecstasy and Rust sticks. Another rumble left deep from his frame. 

His other servo scoured down their back in rapture, digits aching to rip through their clothing and discard it across the floor. "Cher..." he gasped against their mouth. Name spilled like prayer as his interface panel snapped open his spike snaking out, straining against their covered form. 

Whimpered moans leave them as his servos grip thier clothing, dragging it off their body as he throws it across the room, glossa tracing down their form as he eagerly laps against their skin. 

At their little nosies Jazz’s Optics flared, visor blazing, Trembling servos gentled spead their thighs, pressing gentle kisses along them before he bites down and sucks a mark into the skin. “H-hold on t’ me, li’l one,” he rasped out as his glossa traces along their sex “Jus’ hang on tight. Lemme take care’a ya...” 

Slowly, with far more grace than rationality warranted, Jazz began to rock his Glossa against their pulsing warmth with aching care. A loud groan and engine roar leaves him at the taste of them. His optics drank in every flicker of pleasure stealing across their face as the arch and rock against him.

 His spike aches and leaks against the bedding as he slowly works his little human open with his glossa, preping and readying them.  

Jazz burrowed his faceplate between their quivering legs, purrs interlacing pleasured moans dragging from his vocals. His servo curled beneath their legs, hitching them higher. "Primus, babydoll.. so perfect..." He gasped prayers and profanities, they arch and grip his helm as his glossa continues to drive into them. Their gasping cries, have his engine roaring louder.

He pulls away for a moment as he flips them lifting their hips up as he grinds his needy spike against their back, a guttural moan leaves him before he snarls, gripping their waist firmly. Jazz shuddered out a keening groan as he slowly presses his spike into them, stretching them to accommodate his size. 

so tight - so hot and sweet he feared offlining upon first plunge into their sweet little form, their scent driving him wild as his field lets out pulse of energy.  

He curled his servos around their fragile hips, grinding slowly into them, helm tilted back as he clenchs his denta from how tight of a fit it is. "Frag, yes!" he bellowed, slowly picking up pace as he drives into them. Their hands grip onto the blankets as needy moans and cries fall from their lips each time Jazz thrust back into them, grinding his spike into their Smaller form. 

" So beautiful, so perfect...mmm, my Lil mate..." He gasped brokenly, intake clenching.

His thrusts turned feral, spike swelling. He dragged their joined frames up. Holding them to his frame as he goes into frenzy, slamming brutally home again and again.

"Mine," Jazz snarled ferally. "Gonna overload ya so fraggin' good, li'l cher..."

Another savage buck of his hips sent them keening, body pulsing and bucking as they cry out from pleasure. “Jazz oh God!, Jazz!” They claw at his plating desperately trying to grab hold of his arm as he drives into them as feral snarls leave him. A guttural groan echoed from Jazz's intake as their clamp and fluttered wildly around his spike, 

"Frag, li'l bit-, that it, mmm so good" he moans, His spike throbbed mercilessly within their small channel, Another ragged groan was wrenched from depths of his frame as their orgasm hits, his name falling from their lips as if it were a prayer.

He tenses, another guttural moan leaves him and he presses them back down onto the berth, frantically griding into thier tight body. spike pulsing frantically. With a static-laced keen, Jazz finally tumbled over the edge, filling their much smaller body to the brim with bright pink transfluid. Jazz threw back his head with a roar as their tiny frame rolled back to meet each piston in desperation as he pumps more and more into their needy hole. "Frag, yes sweetspark - take it, take m'transfluid, take it all!" 

He rolled deftly within, overload ripped through wiring in a cascade. Transfluid spurted from them as it rolls down their  thighs onto the berth as Jazz holds them close, smaller whines leavign his intake as he grinds into their shuttering body.  

With one finally thust he settles, fan systems on full blast as his frame desperately tries to cool down as he rolls to his side, cradling their body against his, holding them close, his other servo piles the blankets around their exhausted body as he keeps them plugged with his spike. Little whimpered whines leave them as he leans his helm down to press a gentle kiss to their forhead. His systems are slow to reboot, but one thing was for certain,  he wasn't finished with them and he would be damned to the pits if he let them leave his berth until after everyone's rut had subsided. “don't move Babydoll, ain't done with ya yet” he mumbles voice still static laced as his optics shutter behind his visor. 

___________

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[livwritesstuff]

When Steve returns with Hazel from one of her evening dance classes, Hazel is crying.

Eddie hears it from all the way upstairs and she’s still crying when Eddie makes his way down to greet them and sees that Steve is balancing her on one arm as she sobs into the collar of his t-shirt, her little dance bag slung over his other shoulder.

Steve looks like he’s trying very hard to ignore Hazel’s ongoing weeping, which probably means that whatever she’s upset about isn’t exactly a new issue.

“Hazel!” Eddie exclaims, lifting her chin off of Steve’s shoulder so he can get a look at her face, “What’s wrong, baby?”

Hazel doesn’t manage to get out much more than, “Papa didn’t –” before she devolves into blubbering tears again.

“Papa?” Eddie repeats as he pulls Hazel into his arms, “What’d Papa do to my Hazy-Jay that's making her so upset?”

He says it all dramatic and grandiose because it usually makes Hazel laugh. Not today though, and Steve fixes him with a look that says please don’t make this worse than it already is, so…a swing and a miss on all fronts.

Oh well.

“What the hell happened?” he tried again, directing the question at Steve this time (and in his normal voice).

“Uh,” Steve starts, “Yeah, she’s all kinds of mad at me because I didn’t pull over and stop traffic on a highway off-ramp to let a family of ducks cross over to the reservoir.

Eddie blinked.

Okay, so maybe he can sort of understand Steve’s dilemma.

Hazel has always loved animals, but ever since she was tall enough to see out the windshield, she’d become somewhat of a wildlife protection sergeant in the way her eyes were always peeled for little (and not-so-little) critters that could be in need of assistance. It’s not like Eddie hadn’t been braking for animals before, but if there was a turtle on the side of the road, he probably just carefully detoured around it.

Not anymore.

Now they’re pulling over on the side of the road and helping it get across safely, which is fine, obviously. It’s just not always possible, like on the highway at seven o’clock at night.

Their four-and-a-half-year-old daughter might not be able to see the nuance there quite yet.

“So are they…” Eddie trailed off.

“Let’s change the subject, please.”

[aureum-cordis]

Lost & Found, Part 5

A/N: Midterms rolled around and took me out of the fringe for a bit, but I’m back! It’s amazing how much attention Lost & Found has received, thank you all so much! I really do appreciate the follows, likes, and reblogs! I do have a CatNap story and a story with Kissy Missy and Poppy in the works too! If you’re interested in being added to my taglist for Lost & Found or any other potential stories I plan on writing, feel free to let me know! Check out the other parts here: Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4

_________________________________________________

It wasn’t very long until the other Smiling Critters had followed your lead and fell asleep, the leader being the only one to remain awake. He was relaxed, feeling the warmth from the others as they leaned against him and listened to the soft snores that left you as you slept. He couldn’t remember a time when he had seen the bear or the unicorn as tranquil as they were in this moment.

Despite the positivity in the room they sought refuge in, there was danger lurking within the building. DogDay had studied the routes that CatNap patrolled, his rounds being mostly consistent to the point that he was able to notice a pattern and decide where they would shelter accordingly. His sense of time may have been poor, but his sense of smell was what he relied on in moments like this. They had time, not forever, but enough for the others to get some rest.

His gaze fell down to your small body, still resting in his lap and clinging to his arm like a lifeline. He was careful to not move suddenly to keep from disturbing any of those that laid against him, but a small sigh left him as he looked down at your malnourished form. Food was a scarcity as is in this place, something they had witnessed firsthand.

PickyPiggy had been one of the first to be driven mad by hunger, lashing out at the others in a frenzied state. As horrible as it was, DogDay couldn’t have faulted her for it. It was out of her control, the hunger was something vile and demented that warped any rational thoughts, instincts of neither that of a human nor an animal took over in those moments.

He closed his eyes in an instant, trying to rid himself of those memories and the bloodied outcome that followed. When he opened them, he looked down at you, forcing his mind to return to what he had originally been thinking of before his thoughts took a dark path of their own. It was a miracle you hadn’t starved or expired from a lack of water, something that DogDay was greatly concerned by.

You shouldn’t be alive, not for as long as you must’ve been in the building. But you were, something that he couldn't understand but he refused to question it, he knew better than that. He would accept what was given to him without hesitation, when it meant that what he was being given was you.

This decrepit orphanage was never a home, not for you or any of the children. Those that ran it treated the youth as nothing more than lab rats, willing to run more than a few tests on something other than themselves. The thought alone was enough to cause his hackles to raise of their own accord, a growl threatening to leave his perpetually smiling mouth with enough hostility to make anything with sense cower.

Yet, he stopped himself before a sound even escaped him, noticing the way CraftyCorn shifted slightly as they rested against him in her unconscious state. It was grounding, even if unintentional, and assisted in causing his anger to lessen.

Instead, he turned his gaze to you as he listened to your ragged breathing. His softening gaze traced your small form, finally noticing the bruises that you had upon your arms and legs. Some were near the point of fading as shown by their green and brown coloration, while others were a glaring hue of purple.

There was no telling what you had been forced to endure at the hands of men and women that viewed you as nothing more than a test subject. Some part of him was grateful that you weren’t like them, an abomination or organic and inorganic matter strewn together like a poorly made automaton. He hated what they had all become, but not who they were. That was a thought that never crossed his mind.

As surprising as it was, he didn’t even hate CatNap. Not really, not when he knew that he was just a child following the guidance of what he deemed as a friend. He was misguided and demanded others to follow The Prototype as if his word was law, dispatching those that dared to oppose his deity. DogDay wished that this had never happened to any of them, but sorrow and hypothetical situations were pointless now.

The orange dog was optimistic but he also knew that he needed to be realistic. This wasn’t some cartoon that would have a happy ending, where friendship prevailed. This was a dark and demented tale that would end poorly for one, if not all of those involved in it.

A small sigh left him at the negative swarm of thoughts that plagued him like pests as he remained awake, feeling Bobby BearHug nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck as she slept. He was still for several moments afterward, not wanting to risk waking her. Her breathing settled back down into a slow and steady rhythm, which he was relieved to hear.

In moments like this, he was grateful for the company he had. Even though only three, four in reality, of the Smiling Critters remained and you had joined the bunch, he was still thankful. There hadn’t been time to properly mourn any of those that they had lost, not when they constantly needed to remain on the move and the threat of running into CatNap was high.

There was no true soil to bury any bodies, everything in the Playcare was synthetic to some extent. Aside from the buildings, those were made of true materials. The lights were artificial, even the span of day and night was a projection or perhaps a rotating dome. He didn’t know, he hadn’t ever asked to find out and he doubted that he would get a true answer if he had.

There were plenty of workers that were once in the same situation that they now found themselves in. Trapped, unable to break free from this hellish place of bright colors that hid the horror of what happened underground. Truthfully, he understood CatNap’s desire to latch onto a savior and obey their every word, hoping to be led out from this bleak wasteland of shattered dreams and broken souls. It was a childlike hope, but it was one he understood.

They had nearly lost that hope themselves. As their numbers dwindled, Smiling Critters picked off as if they were nothing more than prey animals, he saw the change in those that remained. Especially because he was unable to do anything about it. He couldn’t bring those back that they’d lost nor could he shake the sound of their screams.

DogDay felt powerless in this situation, even if he tried his best to keep from showing that to the others. He was meant to be the leader, but he felt as if he were restrained. As if the only thing he could do was peer out through the metaphorical bars that stood for his guilt and shame. It felt as though something was tearing him apart from the inside every time he dared to think of the others.

But then, he found you. And that had changed everything. You brought back a side of him that he had all but thought he’d lost. Even with as small as you were, you managed to instill hope in CraftyCorn and Bobby BearHug. He could see it in the way they came alive as soon as you entered the room.

It was obvious even now, as you rested in the center of the trio of remaining Smiling Critters. Even as you slept alongside the other two, it was a clear sign that you would be protected. DogDay would make sure of that and he was more than sure that the unicorn and bear at his side would as well.

You were more than just a child that they had taken in. You stood for far more than that, something you would never be able to comprehend at such a young age. The dog knew that you had never had a true family before, it was obvious. Normal children didn’t have scars along their arms from injections nor were they as pale as you were from living under artificial lights for the short amount of time you’d been alive.

They were certainly no replacement for true parents, as unorthodox as they were. But you would be loved, they would provide that along with as much stability as they could. The leader of the Smiling Critters already felt as much and he was almost certain that the feeling was shared amongst those that remained.

He knew that they needed to be wary of how long they stayed in one place. But it wasn’t a dire need to move at this moment in time, CatNap’s patrols were like clockwork and they all knew that it would be a short while before he made his rounds to this wing of the building. DogDay looked down at you one final time as your grip tightened on his arm, before he rested his head against the red bear’s and allowed his eyes to close if for only a few moments.

_________________________________________________

Taglist: @star-the-rabid-dog @urminebutidontwantyou

[montereybayaquarium]

🎵 Twinkle, twinkle small bat star. Those tiny feet help you walk far! 🎵

Tube feet are noodle-like appendages with tiny suction cup ends that are characteristic of the critters in the phylum Echinodermata—sea stars, urchins, sand dollars, and sea cucumbers. Those delightfully dainty feet are responsible for helping stars cruise along the seafloor, prying open shelled prey, and assisting in respiration. 

Sea stars pull water into their bodies through a hole on the top (the side opposite of the tube feet). By changing the water pressure in their bodies via this hole, called the madreporite, they can move their dozens of nifty noodle limbs. 

While our shooting stars may not be as swift as those in the sky, we shore think they shine bright!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Overtime 3

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: your boss, Mr. Hansen, runs you ragged but you find solace in an unexpected friend.

Characters: Lloyd Hansen, Jake Jensen.

Author’s Note: This one is dedicated to my dearest @thezombieprostitute

Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜

It isn’t until a few minutes after Jensen goes that you dare to taste the latte. You’re still wary of his generosity but why should you be? The few times you’ve interacted with him, he’s only ever been helpful. Yet, that is his job. He’s supposed to fix the printer and figure out why your cursor keeps flicking into the corner. 

It isn’t as cinnamon-y as you expect, in a good way. Not in that way that burns your tongue and makes you scrunch up your lips. You savour the first sip and make sure not to devour it in one gulp. You’ll nurse it for as long as you can. A little sweetener to get through the day. 

You’re surprised as Jensen returns. He's much quicker than you expect. You sit up as he proclaims, “tada!” and puts the mouse on your desk. The box is still shrink-wrapped and brand new. “Put it on the company account and all.” 

“Oh gosh, Jensen, thank you so much,” you grab it and look it over. “You’re a life saver.” 

“Hey, it’s no worries. How’s the coffee?" He hooks his thumbs in his khaki pockets and pushes his shoulders up. You peek up at him then back at the cup. 

“Pretty good,” you admit. “I don’t want to drink it too fast.” 

“Makes sense. Well, if you’re ever down at The Grind, I definitely recommend the salted caramel mocha. That’s my favourite. Oh, and on Thursdays, they have the smores brownies... I really didn’t have a sweet tooth before I started going there,” he reaches to rub the back of his neck. “Um, do you like sweet stuff? You like cookies? Cake?” 

He rambles, not giving you a moment to answer. It’s endearing. He runs his hand up behind his head then brings it around to fix his glasses. 

“Sorry, I’m... blabbering. I just... I’m glad you like it, you know?” 

“I do, thanks,” you chew your lower lip.  

“Critter, where the fuck--” Hansen’s voice blasts through the door as he rips it open. “Huh?” He scuffs out and scoffs as he tilts his head, jutting out a foot as he arches a brow, “well, hello there, JJ Jizzface,” he struts up to the corner of your desk, “and what on god’s shit brown heap are you doing here? I didn’t file a ticket.” 

Jensen stands straight as he faces Hansen. In an instant, his demeanour changes. His affability fades behind his staunch veneer. 

“I don’t need a ticket to be here,” Jensen rebuffs. 

“Oh, you don’t? So why the fuck are you bugging my assistant? I mean, pest that you are.” 

They stare at each other, unflinching. You pick at the lip of the cup nervously and watch. You clear your throat and hesitantly stand. 

“Mr. Hansen, sir, I got you a new mouse,” you slide the box towards him. 

“Good fucking job, critter,” he doesn’t look away from Jensen. “Go set it up.” 

“I can do that. It is my job--” Jensen offers.

“She can handle plugging in a damn dongle,” Hansen insists. “I’m sure you have no idea what to do with yours.” 

Jensen doesn’t say a word. You reach for the mouse cautiously. 

“So why don’t you piss off, tech jockey?” Hansen snarls. 

“With due respect,” Jensen says sharply. “I’m a manager too so I don’t need to take orders from you, Hansen.” 

“With due fucking respect, which is goddamn none,” your boss retorts, “you can suck my nuts.” 

He smirks and shakes his head. His eyes catch on your desk and he hums as he turns. He scoops up your latte and give it a sniff. He drinks and the foam dusts his short mustache. You just stare, trying not to deflate at his thievery. You didn’t get donuts in the break room and you forgot your thermos, and now, your latte has been accosted. 

“I’ll get this set up,” you take the mouse. “Thanks for the help, Jensen.” 

“Mission accomplished, four eyes, now shoo,” Hansen snips and slurps again. 

Jensen doesn’t leave right away but you don’t stay and watch. You only know he’s gone by the familiar squeak of his sneakers. You go into Mr. Hansen’s office and tear through the plastic. As you open the flap of the box, the door slams and signals his entrance. 

“So, why the fuck is that googly-eyed fuck hanging around your desk?” He growls. 

“Sir, he got your new mouse--” 

“Oh, and what did you do for that? You give him a smile? You show some cleavage? Is there anything under that sweater to show?” He spits. 

You focus on your task and slide the batteries into the mouse. You snap the cover on and put it on the desk. You take out the dongle and plug it into the port. Mr. Hansen looms closer and stands at the corner, glaring at you. 

“Sorry, sir, he was only being helpful--” 

“Fucking helpful. You seen that cuck? He’s hoping for a peek at your ass. Fucking geek.” He swigs the coffee and chokes, slamming down the empty cup. “Ugh, that was way too sugary, critter. Go get me an americano from Esther’s.” 

You shove the packaging into the box and grab it along with the empty cup. You nod and look at Mr. Hansen. His blue eyes are like ice. 

“Yes, sir, I’ll go right now.” 

“I fucking mean it, critter,” his voice shakes dangerously. “When I give you something to do, you do it.” 

“I understand, Mr. Hansen.” 

“Do you understand? Do you get what your job is? It’s me, critter. I tell you what the fuck to do and you scurry of to do it. Skitter, skitter, little critter.” He grips the desk as he leans in and his nostrils flare. “Now, I need to wash the taste of that garbage out of my mouth so go and get me some real fucking coffee.” 

You put your head down and leave. It’s your fault. You screwed up. You shouldn’t have transferred the call but you didn’t realise before you hit transfer that it was Melora. You should have screened her like you usually do but you’d been trying to figure out the new Adobe update. 

Stupid, you’re stupid. You should know to just do what you’re told and nothing extra.