#crosshair’s bebos

[a-lil-perspective]

*baby Keida toddles along, tentatively*

Crosshair: *to Delana* Look, hon.

Crosshair: The baby’s taking her first—

Baby Keida: *runs up and strangles Asher*

Crosshair: …Life.

[sskim-milkk]

Okay so what if when the batch are just hanging out in their ship laying low and they pass by a pair of Omega’s shoes and they’re just so tiny in comparison to their big feet so they’re just like:

[callme-xo]

July Sketches (HOW IS IT AUGUST ALREADY??)

3 Clones and a Baby after the wonderful modern Au of @sskim-milkk wich you can find here:

[a-lil-perspective]

One of the sniper babies.

[a-lil-perspective]

Asher (5 y.o): *runs up to Hunter with an excited smile*

Ba’vodu Hunter: *smiling real big* Little Man!

Asher: *goes for a fist bump*

Hunter: *bumps Asher’s tiny fist* What’s up, bud?

Asher: *turns his fist over*

*opens it*

*a frog jumps out on Hunter*

Hunter: What’s tha—AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

[a-lil-perspective]

Crosshair has definitely called his bebos his “spawns” before lol.

[a-lil-perspective]

Keida and her papa Cross. XD

[a-lil-perspective]

Other Parents vs Crosshair

I told you sniper baby shenanigans.

• Seeing your child pointing a gun

Other Parents: Oh my God, put that down, PUT THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW, where did you even get that—!!??

vs

Crosshair: *not even glancing up from his paper* Keida, don’t shoot your brothers, it’s nine in the morning.

[a-lil-perspective]

Crosshair: *witnessing Asher and Keida sitting quietly on the couch with seemingly nothing amiss* Hey kids. Dinner in five.

Keida: Yeah okay.

Asher: Thank you, father.

Crosshair: *walks away, feeling suspicious*

Asher: *immediately lets out a panicked breath, checks underneath the cushion to behold Jude laying motionless* *panicking* You think we gave him a concussion???

Keida: *shrugs* I think for his own good, he’s dead.

[a-lil-perspective]

Asher, on the verge of tears, shuffling into Keida’s room at 11:55 at night with his datapad in hand: Hi.

Keida: Bug bro? What’s wrong??

Asher: *sniffling* I forgot to do my Duolingo lessons all day and now it’s too late.

Keida: What language?

Asher, barely holding it together: Porgunese. I was doing so good.

Keida: *holding out her hand* How long as the streak?

Asher, now full on crying: Five-hundred days.

Keida: Stop your crying. I’m a speedster. I can do it.

Asher: ?? You don’t know Porgunese though.

Keida: I do, actually! I learnt it like a week ago when Dad was giving me some boring lecture on responsibility or whatever. I learn at super speed. Give it here.

Asher: *reluctantly hands over his datapad*

Asher: Wait… did you learn this just so you could impress Jude? You know how much he loves Porgs—

Keida: !!!

Keida: …

Keida: I have no personal ties to that young man whatsoever.

[a-lil-perspective]

Keidala, doing a presentation: You’ve heard about daddy and mommy issues, now I give you- *shows a picture of herself* big sister issues.

Asher: What??

Crosshair: Say no more, I’m convinced.

Baby Jude: *blissfully unaware*

[a-lil-perspective]

Keidala: Oh my gods, Asher, what is wrong with you?

Asher: Well, I’m far-sighted to start with—

Keida: That’s not what I meant.

Jude: *interjecting* It’s okay, I’m autistic too!!!

Asher: *squinting* What is Autistic and why am I it.

Keidala:

Jude:

Asher:

Asher: What?

Keida: Did Dad genuinely never get you diagnosed? Or explain why you’re so much like him?

Asher: Diagnosed? I’m not ill. And I’m like father because I’m his son.

Keida: That explains so much.

Asher: *getting irritated* What does that mean?

Jude: *marveling* He’s just like papa!!

Keida: Mhmm, bug bro, we need to take you to a specialist.

Asher, stubbornly: I am not ill.

Keida: I’ve got a PowerPoint—

Jude: Don’t worry Ash!! You’re still the awesomest, bestest brother ever—

Keida: This is giving me flashbacks to when we got Jude his ADHD diagnosis.

Asher: What is autistic and what does that have to do with me?!

Keida: *continues to ignore him while pulling up her presentation*

Asher: *crosses his arms* Fine, show me your PowerPoint. Do you have one on sociopathy too?

Keida: Oh, yeah. Anxiety and depression too, if we’re counting all of our mental illnesses. Shoutout to Dad!

*four hours later*

Asher: *pointedly* Father, I think you should seek professional help for your numerous mental health problems. Also I believe I should get screened for Autism.

[a-lil-perspective]

So funny story that I can see happening with Crosshair's kid. Warning for a bad word:

When my mother worked at the elementary before and after school care, this kid was being bullied by another kid. When her and another lead teacher broke it up, the victim kid called the bully kid a 'bastard.'

My mom pulled the poor little kid to the side and basically this is what happened...

Her: Hey, look. I know that kid was mean to you and he is going to time out for it now but you can't say that word, it's a bad word.

Kid: What word?

Her: The word you just called him.

Kid: Bastard?

Her: Yeah, you can't say that word. It's a bad word.

Kid: Oh, well my mama calls my daddy that all the time.

Her: *trying not to burst out laughing* O-okay... Just don't do it again. G-go play. *waits until the kid is gone, goes in the office, closes the door and dies laughing*

OMG LOL I can definitely see this happening with Keida. 😂 Same choice word too. Dee definitely calls Crosshair a bastard. XD

[a-lil-perspective]

OMG I imagine one of Cross and Dee’s kids goes through a phase when they’re really little where they LOVE trucks or cars or construction vehicles, anything like that (my brother had the same phase and for some reason it’s just adorable) and ahhh it would just be so cute and Crosshair would be like “personally I prefer rifles but ya know…” he supports his kids’ interests haha

I feel like it’s especially be funny if, since they’re so little, they can’t exactly get the t-r in truck so instead they say fuck 😂 I think this would especially be funny if this was Asher cuz he’s so chill and sweet and just hearing him say “Daddy, fuck!” in his sweet voice while they walk in the park and Crosshair and Auntie are both equally horrified and amused

Now if it were Keida, they probably wouldn’t be too surprised 😂

Jude, I’m not sure! Probably since Cross and Dee are older at this point (and Keida has aged them significantly faster) so they’d probably just be like “you know what? Ok…”

Omg Anon this absolutely made my night and this is perfect in every way.

Okay okay listen Crosshair would be very sad if one of his little sniper babies did not show interest in rifles (even if it is just a phase). They are his kids through and through. Sharpshooting is in their blood.

So yeah Crosshair is absolutely crestfallen when Asher toddles up one day babbling on about trucks (“fucks”😂) and excitedly pointing them out in passing. He’s heartbroken. XD

Dee has to assure him that it’s okay, it’s normal for Asher to have other interests, and they should be encouraging of whatever his little heart desires. He’s learning and growing. If he wants to be a space trucker for a day, then he’s a space trucker.

Crosshair: …I thought he was our Ramser’ika. :(

It’s a tough time for Cross. XD

Asher’s budding speech definitely rattles them to their core; their precious son shrieking, “Fuck!!” Tugging at Crosshair’s sleeve, frantically pointing to a nearby construction vehicle. “Bu-bu, fwuck!!”

Keida… well, they’re not surprised. XD And she most definitely is not talking about a truck. XD

Also Keida having “aged them significantly faster” Anon you are so right. 😂❤️

You’re also right about their reaction with Jude. XD They just kind of roll with it. He is a cheeky little guy and having Keida as a big sister does not dissuade him one bit. XD If anything, Cross’buir and Delana are chiding, “Keidala…” whenever Jude spews a swear word. XD Yes he’s a curious dude but miss Keida also is very influential lmao.

Thanks for making me smile tonight.

[a-lil-perspective]

All three (3) of Crosshair’s bebos have the nose scrunch™.

[a-lil-perspective]

Asher: Alright baby bro, time for bed. *throws 3 y.o Jude over his shoulder into bed but in slow motion while making sounds like a ship is crashing*

Jude: *giggling*

Asher: *stops mid-throw* Wait, wait, just to be safe— *pulls a toy grenade from his pocket* In case there are any monsters. *throws the grenade under the bed*

Keida: AAAAAHH WHAT THE FU— *frantically trying to crawl out*

Jude: *shrieks happily*