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#crush drabbles
uranometrias · 4 days
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✮ꜜ : ❛ you're still a traitor : criminal minds x fem! reader [ pt. 1 ]
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pairing: aaron hotchner x bau! reader (unrequited) | spencer reid x bau! reader | s7 team x bau! reader (platonic)
summary: being in love with your boss was hard. especially when there were so many factors surrounding you that made the possibility of being with him, out of the question. for starters, there was your age gap, and hotch was a stickler with baggage that he couldn't quite disclose to you. hotch was a fantasy, always out of your grasp, that is until emily dies. in the four months that followed emily's death at the hands of ian doyle, you found yourself living a life that you'd only ever dreamed about. hotch was careful, but the proof was right in front of your face as he went out of his way to care for you while you grieved. how stupid of you not to realize something was horribly wrong. but now emily was back, and hotch was back from reassignment in pakistan, and you were all on trial, and absolutely nothing makes sense except for the bitter understanding that you were a pawn in a game that in so few words was "way bigger than you." but at least you had spence.
content warnings: this is literally a barrel of angst. reader breaks the skin of her palms with her nails. mentions of slight! anxiety. follows the plot of "it takes a village" aka the iconic "this is calm, and it's doctor" episode. flashbacks x present day! spencer has been crushing on reader for as long as she's been crushing on hotch. hotch is NOT romantically interested in reader. slight! hotchniss vibes (but that's up to your interpretation. jj x reader angst! reader does not react to emily's return well. mentions of unit transfer / bureau resignation. spencer confesses to reader... open ending making room for a part 2! heartbreak, drinking, crying. best friend! penelope garcia + derek morgan. reader has a sister & niece.
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Your leg shakes violently as you sat just outside the court room, hands balled into tight fists as your nails press deep into the callousing skin of your palms. You couldn't say you were nervous, as far as the previous case was concerned you'd done everything you could to save Declan. You'd take whatever suspension they'd throw your way without batting an eye. You didn't regret the part you played, no, you just regretted the team that you were apart of.
It had been a crazy seven months. You remembered when things turned left, back when Emily started acting weird. She was shorter, snappier, she had less patience with any of you. Long gone were the days of wasting your time with jokes and innuendos. She had a lot on her mind, a lot none of you were privy to, and you remembered how you'd stretched yourself. You'd all tried so hard to show her you were there, to let her know that you could be trusted.
Your face contorts into a scowl, it had become your new resting face in the last few weeks. God, you hated how stupid and naive you'd been back then. Now that everything was out in the open, it was almost too obvious where the deception began. What was the point of taking care of people who had no trouble treating you like some disposable pawn piece to be moved to fit their whims. Damn. You were crying again, you'd been doing that a whole lot too lately.
You scrub furiously at your face, and you hate your teammates a little bit more. JJ had gone first, face devoid of any timidity or uncertainty. Long gone were the days of Jennifer Jareau the Liaison, she was a profiler now, one of you. When she'd come back, you'd been ecstatic. The unit hadn't been the same since she was transferred, you'd missed her so gravely. But now, now the sight of her just reminded you of the secret you'd been holding on the tip of your tongue.
Hotch wasn't the only one who had known about Emily.
You feel a hand moving to rest on the top of your thigh, and you flinch violently. You sniffle audibly, eyes moving to rest on Penelope, your God-given solace. Your best friend. She, Derek, and Spencer were the only ones who wholeheartedly understood what you felt. But even still, Hotch hadn't used their feelings to make them blind, the way he had done with you. He'd played you like a goddamn fiddle, and you'd let him. Because you were weak, stupid, grieving, and in love.
Hotch had never been in the cards for you, not that you weren't beautiful, gorgeous, an amazing agent. You had the stamp of approval of both Agents Gideon and Rossi. Erin Strauss had been (by your request) rejecting every request of transfer any other unit had tried to offer. You were an asset to the bureau, and a major part of this team. You'd been around since the beginning. You'd witnessed doe-eyed Spencer Reid join at age 23, full of facts and anxiety.
You'd seen Derek blossom and break out of his play-boy persona, and become someone that other branches of the law fought to have. You'd been around for so long, you'd witnessed so much, and Hotch knew that. Which you suppose is what you allowed yourself to believe was the reason he'd never shown signs of reciprocating your feelings. He was respecting your future, leaving your options open. But those were the delusional musings of a girl in love with someone she can't have. Hotch wasn't into you, and you knew that.
So why, why, why did you let him convince you of the opposite? For even one measly second? And, yes, of course in the grand scheme of things you understood why he did what he did. But it didn't make it hurt less. In fact knowing his duty to Emily outweighed his duty to anything else just made this whole ordeal feel more like a slap to your face. Penelope gives your thigh a reassuring squeeze, and you're pulled from your running mind. You blink, registering her worry.
"Are you alright?" she asks, and it's the first time anyone's asked you that since the first day. You know they were giving you space to cope, which only seemed to reaffirm your feelings of betrayal and loneliness. "We'll get out of this, alright? And we'll-we'll be able to be a complete family again." she proceeds, and serves you right for believing someone understood what was going on. They'd all misunderstood you. They thought your behavior was fear of the team being dismantled. Some profilers you were surrounded by.
"I'm fine, Garcia." you say, and you can't bite the snippiness if you wanted to. "I just want to get this over with, and get the hell out of here." you add, and you're standing up, Penelope's hand dropping limply as you move your seat. You find a more isolated corner, plopping back into the uncomfortable seat, as the legs squeak slightly. Your leg is back to shaking, only now you've taken to chomping on your bottom lip. You don't imagine Penelope's hurt expression, you know without a doubt that you'll cave. And you can't.
Not this time.
Your phone chirps in your pocket, and you jump once more. Your jumpiness was a new attribute triggered by the amount of sleep you hadn't been getting. Pulling it out you see that it's a call from your big sister, and you curse under your breath. You were supposed to be watching your niece so your sister could pick up an extra shift. None of you had really expected for things to go this far.
"Hey..." you wince, because you can hear the heaviness of your feelings ladled over your words.
"Hey, are you alright? I got a call from Spence." and you're surprised. You look up, searching for the brunette anywhere in the vicinity, and find that he hasn't shown up yet. It's a bit of a shock, especially for someone as punctual as Reid. You did however spot JJ still meandering about, and she's not looking tense at all. Despite your anger towards her, you couldn't deny that she'd quickly fallen into the role of a profiler. It fit her almost like a glove.
"Spencer called you?" you ask, and you hear the tension in your sister's sigh. You imagine that she must be exhausted. Your sister did a lot, and managing a blossoming family was hard. Your niece was five, and she had a new addition to the family on the way. Which was why it was so important for you to be there on the days she needed you to watch your niece.
"Yes, he said something about..." your sister lowers her voice. "Emily." she questions, and you find your head nodding despite the fact she can't see you. "Are you alright?" she asks again, and this time she emphasizes how important it is for her to hear directly from your mouth the state of your wellbeing. Your sister seemed to always see right through you, it was a wonder she wasn't the one in the FBI.
"I'm-" you trail off before you can lie. "I'm sure if they could they'd disband the unit." you whisper, and you look up just as Derek is exiting the court room, Penelope looking terrified as she takes his place. Derek scans the room before he spots you, and his eyes soften. JJ approaches him and the two seem to chat animatedly. Still they look so serious, there was no room for smiles and banter today.
It's not long though before they're looking at you again, and you know that they know. Your self isolation wasn't something you were exactly being subtle about. You immediately look away, focusing in on what your sister was saying. "Bad decisions or not, they're no good without your unit." she says, and pride still manages to swell up inside of you. "You guys do good work. You work because you're together, everyone plays their role." she proceeds, and it's then you shatter.
Play your role. What role exactly did you play? Hotch was the stoic leader that somehow seemed to play the role of pseudo-father so well for every member of the team, with the exception of Rossi and Derek. Derek, was the shoe-in for promotion. The older brother who teased you relentlessly, but would fight til his last breath to protect you, and he always did. JJ, the pretty girl. The one who everyone on the team at some point had been attracted to. But more than that, she was resilient, a subtle glue that kept your unit running.
You quickly slot through everyone else's roles in your head, and huff. What were you except the odd-woman out. The dummy with a crush on your unit chief, and too much knowledge for your own good. You supposed that was why Hotch had to distract you with exaggerated gestures. If you got out of your feelings and really thought about it, you knew that if anyone on the team was going to see through the smoke, and uncover the truth about Emily, it would be you.
So he had to handicap you. What better way than by hanging the possibility of a romance in your face. Still, it was cruel. Just more proof that this was not the family you made them out to be. "Yeah, I'm not so sure." you reply, and you can hear how disgruntled you sound. It smacks you like a ton of bricks, and it's then you truly realize just how hurt you were by everything. Your sister sighs deeply, and it makes you second guess yourself. Were you being irrational? Unfair?
"I know what Hotch did." she begins, "And it was awful to play with your feelings like that." she expresses, and you feel validated. "And nobody's expecting you to just welcome Emily back with open arms after months and months of thinking that she was dead. You were deceived, and I want you to feel however you want, okay?" she says, and you don't respond, mostly because it feels rhetorical. "Just don't do anything rash without thinking it through alright?"
You don't know what she means by that so your eyes roll. "I think we're well past that, if they find us guilty I could lose my job." you remind her, and she chuckles. You don't find it funny, you can't. Your love for the job outweighed a lot of things, so it had been a no-brainer to help Derek seek out Ian Doyle. You wanted his head spinning on a pike, and you weren't planning to take no for an answer.
two weeks prior.
You were sitting across from Derek, steaming mug of coffee in your head that was more french vanilla creamer than anything else. You held the staged photograph of Declan and Louise. Derek's holding an identical photo, a heady sigh escaping him as you both rack your brains for some sort of bullseye. Something that would point you right in the direction of Declan. "Okay, Emily needed to get Declan a new identity." Penelope says as she walks into the office. She sits in the chair right beside you, arm full of stress balls and files. "So she must have used someone that she trusted." she proceeds.
"Alright, well that's a short list, but it's probably not even written down." is Derek's tired reply.
"Even if it was, she's been so many places, with so many different points of contact. " you speak up, and you take a sip from your coffee, praying it kicks in and wakes you up a bit. "It's not gonna be super easy to track and narrow them all down." you say, and you realize your mistake just as Penelope is placing a file in your hands.
"Oh, tell me about it. Two columns, domestic and imports." she says as she passes the other to Derek, who's looking at you with an amused smile stretched across his face. Serves you both right for underestimating the genius of Penelope Garcia. "I accept your apology, cutie." she says, leaning into you as you grin, smacking your lips in a kiss.
"Hey." JJ's at the door of the office, all three of you turning to look her way as she beams brightly. "Have you guys seen, Spence?" she questions, and you remember how you'd offered to bring him a coffee as a respite from the garbage water they served in the bullpen. He'd shut you down politely asking to reschedule as he was going to be spending his day at the Firing Range. You understood the need, he wanted to protect himself, and the team. He had to get better.
"He's at the firing range." you and Penelope speak in unison, making eye contact, as hers narrow. You knew instantly she would have questions about why you of all people knew Spencer's whereabouts.
"Again?" JJ questions as you shrug your shoulders, her eyes flitting towards you.
"Ever since Prentiss died, he..." Penelope speaks your thoughts.
"Right." JJ nods her head. "Uh... did you guys just get a new case?" she questions, hands clasping together in front of her.
"It's just an old one." Derek answers.
"Do you want some fresh eyes?" she asks, and it's painfully clear that she's still figuring out how to feel more like the team again.
"Not just yet." Derek denies, and he's polite, but you knew why he was being this way. You were all for keeping anything related to Doyle under wraps until you were further along.
"Ok. Um, well let me know." she hums, and then she looks back at you. "Y/N, can I..." your eyebrows raise as she trails off. "Can we talk? It'll only take a second." she hopes, and you look to Derek and Penelope for a moment.
"We won't do anything big without you." Derek promises, and you nod, closing the file, and handing it off, before you stand to your feet. You follow JJ out of the office, and down the hallway, stopping just before you reach the heart of the bullpen. You look to her expectantly, a bit confused, but not on edge. You had missed JJ, and in the two months she'd been back, it'd been pretty hard to get some real time with her. You'd hoped a break in the case would help to change that.
"Everything okay, Jaige?" you ask, and you witness how she exhales in relief right in front of you.
"God, it is now." she says, and your eyebrows jump up. She seems to understand the confusion on your face as she lets out a chuckle, dispelling more of her own tension. "You've been calling me Agent Jareau since I got back... not JJ and definitely not Jaige." she explains, as it seems to register for you. "I guess I was just a little worried I'd done something to make you mad at me." she admits, and she's clearly sheepish.
"Oh." you chuckle yourself, and you reach out to hold her shoulder. "No, you've done nothing wrong." you promise. "I've just been a bit in my head these last few weeks, but I'm really glad you're back." JJ beams at your words, and all the remaining tension in her posture dissipates instantly.
present day.
"Hey, everything alright?" you look up, pulled from your thoughts at the presence of Spencer Reid. He's holding a medium cup of a steaming liquid that you can only assume is coffee, and you find yourself smiling despite yourself. "I remember you asked me a few weeks ago about coffee." he holds it out, and you're quick to press your phone to your shoulder, neck craning slightly as you take it.
"Thanks, Spence." you mumble, and you can practically hear your sister's smirk from the other line. "Could you just give me one second, I'm talking to my sister?" you question, and Spencer nods his head, eyes widening in understanding. You smile politely, and he beams back at you, pretty eyes seemingly brightening before he's making his way over to Derek who's smirking like the nuisance he is.
"Hey." you mumble once he's gone, and your sister is snickering. For some odd reason she'd been dropping hints that maybe the guy on the team you should be setting your sights on was Spencer. To your defense, it wasn't like he wasn't attractive. You'd be an idiot to deny his boyish charm and good looks, but after he'd sat you down and admitted he had a crush on JJ, back during his second year, you'd sort of blocked any potential attraction towards him out of your head.
Now he was just Spence.
"Hey, I should go. I just wanted to check in, Spence made me aware of everything so I've got everything figured out on this end." she promises you, and you nod once more despite yourself. "Just think about what I said, alright? It'd be a shame for you to leave behind such a good job." she finishes, and you don't know how to respond to that, so you don't. "Call me later?" she questions, though you know she's telling you more than asking.
"I will." you reply, and she sounds pleased as she exhales.
"I'll talk to you soon." and then the phone is clicking. You adjust your grip on your coffee, using your free hand to grab your phone, and place it down on your lap. The coffee smelled good, it was from that cute shoppe that sold different pastries and always smelled like cinnamon. You'd been there with Spencer and Penelope a handful of times, and they always made your coffee exactly how you liked it. Still, Spencer had never ordered for you so you await a mishap.
The first sip warms you up instantly, and you're knocked flat on your ass by how on point the drink was. Your eyes snap upwards, looking across the lobby towards Spencer, who's awkwardly sitting in a seat, Derek beside him. JJ was gone now, but you figured she was probably with Hotch and Emily, the three of them had been attached at the hip since the team was "back together". You're certain them being gone was what led you to standing to your feet.
You walk towards Derek and Spencer quietly, slipping into a seat next to Spencer as Derek leaned up against the wall. "I didn't know that you knew my coffee order." you whisper, and Spencer turns to look at you. He offers a half smile, you were certain you'd be passing a lot of those back and forth until the court proceedings were done with.
"Of course I do." he shrugs his shoulders. "I pay attention when you talk." he promises, and you wonder why he had to like JJ, and why you had to like Hotch. On paper, and off paper Spencer Reid was the perfect candidate for boyfriend, plus he never pretended to be into you to keep you from finding out the truth. You both fall into silence, there's not much else to say, but you let his words repeat in your head. I pay attention when you talk. It makes your stomach twist.
"You alright over there, pretty girl?" Derek's voice barely reaches over a whispered volume. It seemed you all were feeling the dreary aftershocks of an ordeal like the one you'd found yourselves in. You look up at Derek tiredly, and you don't understand why he's asking you this, not until you feel the scalding heat of hot coffee singing your skin. Two sets of worried eyes are drawn to your cup, it's squished in your palm, brown liquid streaming everywhere.
"Shit." you hiss, and the cup falls to the floor, you're quick to clutch your burnt hand. God, you were really torn up over this.
"I'll get this cleaned up." Derek promises, and he looks at Spencer as if he was communicating something he didn't want you privy to. Spencer falters, only for a second before he's reaching out for your forearm, and guiding you to your feet. You trail after him, walking down the long corridor, listening out for the telltale sign that Penelope was done, and they'd be calling you next. On your route you pass JJ who looks concerned as she looks between the two of you.
"Spence, Y/N?" she says, and you avert your gaze, you're not sure if you're more angry or embarrassed.
"Sh-she spilled some coffee." Spencer explains, but he doesn't stop walking. "Shouldn't be more than a first degree burn, if she soaks her hand for five minutes, everything should be fine." he is passive as he speaks, eyes never quite meeting hers as he continues to lead you.
"Let me take her." JJ offers, and both you and Spencer are quick to offer denials. She looks hurt but masks it quickly. "It's not like you can go into the girl's bathroom with her, right?" she says and it's then you both realize you've got no other choice. He looks to you, trying to gauge how you'd feel about it, and you sigh. Maybe this was for the best, you could finally get things off your chest with JJ. It was only fair. He seems to clock the instant you've decided, and concedes.
"I'll be right out here." he promises, and you nod slowly. He looks like he wants to say more, but he doesn't get the chance to.
"Spence." JJ says his name a bit more sternly, and he resists the urge to cut his eyes in her direction. He ignores her long enough to take in your ailed hand, he saw the way the skin began to redden and swell. He seems cross as he passes you off to JJ, and you feel a bit silly being fussed over for something as minute as a coffee burn. JJ's earnest in the way she takes you to the nearest women's restroom. You hiss the second the cold water comes in contact with your skin.
You don't say anything to JJ though, losing your nerve the second the two of you were alone. She looks like she's waiting for you to say something though, eyes brimming with some sort of unease. She was reading you, using her new skills to profile you. You suppose that's exactly what pushes you to finally speak. "We said we'd never profile one another." you remind her crossly, and she's sheepish. "Just because you're doing it in your head doesn't make it any less invasive." you keep your wrist in place, hissing silently.
"If you would just talk to me I wouldn't have to go that far." she counters, and you blink. Fair, but you had every right to keep your distance from her. Just because the rest of the team was still more or less unaware of JJ's role in harboring the secret of Emily, you'd read right through her.
"What's there to talk about exactly?" you ask. "None of us want to be here dealing with this." and you take the route of the naive girl.
"I'm not talking about with the trial... and the senators." she shakes her head, and she's almost pleading as she tries to catch your eyes in the mirror. "I'm talking about Emily." she deadpans. "Everything that happened?" she proceeds. "You've hardly said a word to her since she came back." she doesn't want to come off like she's scolding you, and so she takes in a breath before her tone can become defensive.
"I don't speak to ghosts." and it's a quiet little dig that she hears all the same. It forces a tense silence to wash over the restroom, the only sound slicing through the awkwardness is the water rushing from the spout. JJ clears her throat, blinking a few times as she adjusts your wrist, allowing the water to evenly coat your burn. Only a few more minutes of this and you could make your grand escape.
"That's not fair." she finally voices her thoughts with a deep sigh.
"Isn't it?" you snap. "Seven months we thought she was dead." and you suppose that was a mistake of hers, getting you started. "Pretty lucky that you were off at the Pentagon, right?" you ask sourly. "Or was it lucky that you were in on the whole scam? I mean you were at the funeral, but you didn't have to cry, you didn't have to grieve." you accuse, and JJ's jaw slackens, clearly surprised at your outburst.
"I lost my friend too, okay?" she counters and you scoff.
"Did you?" you argue. "All those nights I called you crying, all those texts, those check ins... how long did you know Emily was still alive?" you demand, and JJ's feeling cornered, and her heart rate is picking up. She knew there'd be mixed feelings about this, but she'd never expected to ever be at odds with you. You, Spencer, and JJ rounded out the younger crowd on the team, it was your job to stick together. "Answer me." you insist, and you sound so crushed as you speak.
"I knew the whole time." she answers, and you nod your head, because of course you already knew.
"Exactly." you sneer. "You're a liar." you hate how angry this whole thing makes you, but you can't deny it. They'd played with your feelings, all of them, and now you were meant to behave like nothing was wrong. "Did you know about Hotch?" you ask, and JJ flinches. She doesn't answer for a while, and the water seems to rush even louder in your ears.
"I told him it wasn't smart." she finally answers. "But we needed to ensure that Emily wasn't at risk, it was harmless... just some flirting to keep you from getting too close to the truth." and JJ is speaking as if this wasn't some major breach of your position as coworkers and alleged friends. "He'd never cross the line." she reminds you, and the reminder that yeah, Hotch would never be with you makes you wince.
"And he didn't." she says this like she knows for certain. "It was flirting, Y/N. it didn't mean anything, we just needed you to..." and she trails off when she sees how destroyed you look at her admission. "Y/N..." she trails off, and you inhale sharply.
"Don't." you exhale, and you snatch your hand from her grasp. The cool air of the bathroom immediately attacks the welts blooming on your hand. You don't have time to pay them any mind.
"We just wanted to protect you... and keep Emily safe in the process. The more of us that knew Emily was alive, the more of a liability we'd be while Doyle was still on the run." she says, and you suppose in the grand scheme you understand. As profilers, as special agents working for the FBI they'd done great work. As your friends, as people you'd considered family for years... they'd betrayed you.
Plain and simple.
"Congratulations, you did exactly what you meant to." you say dully, and you sniffle, though no tears are set to come. Instead you feel more anger blossoming in the pit of your gut. "I hope it was worth it." and it's dramatic, but you deserve the dramatics, sidestepping the blonde and leaving her behind just as Emily is stepping inside. She looks at you wide-eyed, before she sees JJ standing there seemingly frazzled.
"Is everything okay?" she questions, and you don't offer her an answer, instead leaving the restroom as your earlier words ring in your head. I don't talk to ghosts. And you don't, and despite your history you'd never allow yourself to. You find your way back to the seats that led to the courtroom, Derek was gone, the only person still there was Spencer. He stands up as soon as he hears your shoes.
"Where's Derek?" you ask quietly.
"He left with Garcia." he answers quietly. "I guess they're dismissed for now. They're in with Dave now." he explains, and your eyes shift to the door. More than likely you or Spencer would be next.
You sit down, and Spencer follows you, sinking back into his seat as his legs just barely brush against yours. "Are you scared?" you ask, and Spencer's head shakes.
"Are you?" he shoots back, and you look away from the door.
"Not of this." you admit. "But of what comes after." you add and Spencer's pretty brown eyes are swimming with confusion. "Can we really all bounce back from something like this?" you ask, and it's rhetorical, but he answers you all the same.
"We've come back from worse." he reminds you, and that faint smile is worming back onto your face.
"Sure we have." you agree numbly. Spencer's eyes drop to your hand.
"How does it feel?" he asks, and you follow his gaze with a shrug of your shoulders. He doesn't look pleased by this approach, and it makes you sigh.
"Just feels like I ran some water over it." you admit, and Spencer chuckles. "A bit anticlimactic if I'm honest with you, Doctor." and you're partly teasing, mostly because it's so easy.
"You'll need some sort of petroleum jelly... there's some pretty good products that aren't at all carcinogenic like the leading brands." he begins on a tangent, and it makes you smile a bit bigger. "That with some gauze is the perfect remedy for such a mild burn." he proceeds and you look down at it. There's a moment of silence between you, before he's talking again. "Can I ask what happened?" he whispers.
You hum, almost like you're pretending you can't hear him.
"With the coffee? Was it not good? I tried to follow your order exactly." he says and you squeeze your eyes closed.
"It wasn't you or the coffee, Spence." you promise him, and without thinking you reach out, small hand resting on his shoulder. "The coffee was perfect." you insist, and he relaxes, but not enough. "I guess I'm just thrown about all of this." you proceed. "No matter how much I try to remind myself that they did this to protect Emily... that their deception was for a good reason, it just makes me angrier. Why is it that I have to rationalize being angry?" you question.
"I have to reign my feelings in for the sake of the team." you're careful not to grow loud. Spencer's eyebrows are pressed inwardly, head shaking.
"You don't." he denies you quickly. "You shouldn't." he corrects.
"You're right." you agree, and your silent for only a second. "I wish everyone could be like you, Spence." you say, and your words surprise him. He feels this familiar wave of adoration that always seems to swallow him whole whenever he was around you.
"Really?" he knows it might be pathetic, to be hopeful for something like this. The chance to hear what popped in your head whenever you thought of him.
"Yeah." you say firmly, and he tries not to look too eager. "You're so smart." you tell him, and he knows this, but it still feels nice hearing it from you. "And you're always nice to me." you add with a quiet laugh. "And you'd never lie to me would you?" you ask, and in truth, it's not a fair question. Spencer wasn't in the position the others were in.
"What do you mean?" he asks, and he fears it may be the wrong response. You don't even react, at least not that he can tell.
"Nothing." you settle on, head shaking from side to side. "Forget I mentioned it." and he doesn't really want to remind you that his memory quite literally makes that impossible. "I heard that you weren't fighting the suspension." you say conversationally, and he's surprised, mostly because the only person he'd told about that was Derek. Which meant you had been talking about him when he wasn't around.
"I guess I just stand by everything we did." he tells you, and your hand still hurts a bit, but it's definitely a problem for a later version of you.
"Me too. I'm glad we got Doyle, and Declan's safe." you exhale, and despite your anguish towards the team, you meant every word.
"And the team's back together." Spencer himself doesn't sound so convinced. You look over at him at this, your own unconvinced expression slowly cracking through his attempt at a cool facade.
"Is it?" you ask, and Spencer's face softens, a small little frown taking over his otherwise usually content face. He couldn't admit it now, mostly because it didn't feel like the right time, but he paid attention to you. He knew all about your complicated feelings for Hotch "I don't want to be on a team with people who purposely keep me in the dark about things." you ask, and Spencer pauses.
"I'm sure they wouldn't if they had another choice." he offers, and it's not how he feels at all, but it's what you need to hear.
"You don't believe that." you deny, and Spencer can't fight his chuckle. "Or maybe you do, you've always been good at seeing the best in people."
"Oh, do you think so?" it's a bit of a surprise. With your job description it would've made more sense for you to tell him that he saw the worst in people. He felt it was a fair thing to say that he was exceptionally good at his job, but it's then he recognizes what it is you're truly saying, or at least alluding to. It makes his face heat up immediately, cheeks blossoming a rosy red that makes him want to roll his eyes.
"Of course." you promise, and then you're looking at him again. Your face is one of the prettiest he's ever seen, and it's not even subtle. You seem a bit uncertain of your own allure though, which to him is a major shock. "You're like the best person ever." you add, and he expects you to snicker or show some sign that you were joking, but you don't. Bad for him, because his deluded mind full of fantasies starring you would take words like those the wrong way.
"I think you're the best person ever..." he's whispered this, but you hear it all the same, and he's lucky enough to witness the way your entire face morphs. Despite the bleariness in your eyes, you beam brightly. He hates though, that you start to cry. It starts with one tear slipping down your cheek and dripping into your lap. The onslaught comes right after, and before you know it, you're choking on sobs.
"God..." he hears the bitter tang of self-loathing that attaches and weaves itself into your otherwise honey-filled tone. "You're making this so hard, Spencer." you huff, and you scrub at your face harshly. He doesn't understand, but he's too frozen in place to ask you what you mean. Lucky him, you seem to know that you've got explain a bit, so you do. "I'm gonna resign." you say this quietly, sniffling as more tears fall. Spencer feels like he's misheard you.
He wants to have misheard you. He flounders a bit, and he's mentally scolding himself, because he has to hurry the fuck up and say something. "You can't!" and he's scolding himself again for sounding too eager. You jump a bit at the outburst, and he winces right along with you. "We just got everyone back." he reminds you, and you exhale, head nodding in understanding.
"I know." you promise him. "Why do you think this is so hard. You think I want to be the asshole that turns the unit on its head?" you ask. "But I can't stay here and pretend that everything's fine... or act like I don't feel thrown about all of this." you proceed, and of course, Spencer understands, he's upset he was lied too as well.
"I understand." he admits with a sigh, and you let out a quiet noise of relief, almost like you were worried he'd be upset with you. He assumes this is just him being delusional again. You look like you have something sitting on the tip of your tongue, so he stays silent to give you the room to say all that you need to.
"Have you ever had feelings for someone?" you ask. You chuckle at the look he shoots you, "Not just for a second, Spence." you proceed. "I mean like... take your breath away, kind of almost-in-love feelings." you indulge, and Spencer's keen to shut his mouth. Yes, is the loud and resounding answer that rings in his head, because foolishly he'd allows you to captivate him like the siren you were almost three years prior. He'd be a dummy to tell you such now though.
"I-" he blinks harshly, eyes feeling too dry. "I can't say I have." he lies, and he remembers your words from earlier, how you'd praised him for being someone who would never lie to you. You don't seem to notice his deception though, and if you do, you're too in your own head to comment on it.
"Good." you say with a shuddered breath. "They're nothing but a headache, especially when the person doesn't want you back." you exhale the words, and it's like a dagger is being lunged into his chest. How dense could you possibly be with all your super smarts?
"Did something happen with Hotch?" he asks, and now it's your turn to be embarrassed, face pinching up as you choke on a breath. "I don't mean to pry, if it's personal... it's just that-" he trails off, seemingly waiting for you to berate him or tell him to back off. You don't, instead your nose twitches, and you begin to look at your shoes. "Y/N?" he nudges you with his elbow, and it's light.
"No." you finally say, head shaking. "I thought maybe..." you trail off, more embarrassment slicing at you as you cringe. "But it was all a ruse, just a way to keep me from getting too close, and figuring out everything about Emily before they wanted us to know." you say and Spencer's eyebrows furrow.
"They?" he pries, and you look at him like he's silly.
"Hotch and JJ." you answer plainly, and it takes Spencer a second. JJ who he'd went to for comfort for ten weeks? He blinks at you, and you shrug. "So you see... anyone that could take my feelings and use them to manipulate me... are they really worth sticking around for?" you ask, and Spencer doesn't want to validate you in this way. He wants to be selfish, he wants you to stay on the team.
He thinks about how devasted everyone would be. How devasted he would be to walk into the bullpen and find that your desk was empty.
"I don't want you to go..." he admits, and it's quite pitiful, the sadness that soaks the words like gasoline. You find yourself chomping on your lip again, nails pressing into the cuts of your palms, and Spencer's catching your bad habits in real time.
It's a bit invasive, the way his hand surges out, and stops you in your tracks. "Please don't do this." and you're not sure if he's talking about leaving the unit, or if he's referring to the gashes littering your hands. When he holds your palm out flat, and rubs his thumb across the bleeding indentations, you find that you understand quickly.
Every few seconds it's ebbing with more droplets of blood, and he's quick to wipe them away like they offend him. Just as he's moving to say something else, the doors to the courtroom are opening, and Dave Rossi is exiting, his eyes immediately on you and Spencer. You must look foolish, hands intertwined as you stare wide-eyed at the team's senior agent. It's probably why Spencer is dropping your hand as you're snatching it away from his grasp.
You still find that your eyes are quick to appraise one another. He's looking at you, and you're staring back, mouths parted as if you'd been caught. Had you been caught? Had there really been anything to catch? You don't have time to answer, because you're being called next. You frown at Spencer, standing to your feet as he feels his pulse threaten to leap to disrespectful speeds.
"Y/N..." he calls after you, and you stop for a second. Eager eyes fall back on him, and he's trailing off, because the look in your eyes says it all. If you got out of this without being fired, you could imagine a world where quitting the FBI no longer made you sick to your stomach. Silence befalls the space, and he shakes his head after a beat. You look disappointed but not surprised, inhaling deep and audibly as you march towards the court room.
Spencer doesn't know what you're going to say, but he hopes recalling all you'd been through in the last few weeks will be enough to make you stay. At least until he has the courage to ensure that you leaving the team doesn't equate to losing you entirely and completely.
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headintheclouds-posts · 7 months
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🔞 MDNI OptionalMale AnyReader
Sexy things that make my back arch
Pressing his forehead against yours after you kiss
How he bites his bottom lip when pounding into you
When he buries his face in your neck to hide his moans
When he tells you that you belong to him when he’s deep inside you
How his hands travel up your thighs when you makeout
His horny morning voice 🥵
His hand on the back of your head when you kiss
The veins in his arms protruding when his fingers are curled into you
Him taking his shirt off with one hand
Also just him unbuttoning a shirt
His smirk when he sees how easily you fall apart for him
The way he rolls his shirt sleeves up
When he undresses you but never takes his eyes off yours
Whispering cusses under his breath when he’s inside you.
They basically can do the bare minimum and I would fold like a garden chair 😏
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margotw10bis · 30 days
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Welcome Back.JJK [m]
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bestfriend!Jungkook x female Reader
Genre: drabble; smut (basically just porn)
Words: 3.6k
Synopsis: After almost two years of military service, you finally meet your best friend again. While you have planned a cosy night, his plans are a little bit on the physical side.
Warnings: oral sex (f. receiving); dom!jk/sub!reader; unprotected sex; rough sex; praising kink; big dick jk; hair pulling; spanking; crying of how good sex is; choking
18 months.
You've waited 18 months to see him again. You diligently mark each day on your calendar, waiting for him. The few weekends he was allowed in the civil life weren't enough to do everything you wanted and honestly, he was so tired that most of the time he just ate and slept.
But today it's different. Because Jungkook is finally free from service. You finally have your best friend back.
You've planned everything for your encounter: cake, embarrassing sign saying 'I CAN TAKE MY BUNNY HOME' and a whole night of snacks, games and movies, just like you used to do before Jungkook got into the army.
You're not the only one waiting for a loved one. A small group of friends and family have gathered in front of the military base, waiting for the soldiers to get off duty for good.
You are clearly feeling impatient, bouncing on one foot to the other. When some squeaks are heard from the crowd, you try to get a visual on the men coming outside by standing on your tiptoes but it's in vain. The only thing you see is a bunch of shaved heads...
It's only when some reunions decide to step aside that you finally see him. And gosh, you are so happy that you could fly. A big fat smile paints your face and Jungkook mimics you when he notices you and your sign.
He looks a little bit tired but he looks good anyway. The months he has spent in the army got him buffer — even though he was already a gym rat — and his military uniform just increases that. His hair is definitely short but he clearly let it grow a little. Honestly, he looks like a kiwi. A cute kiwi.
And his bunny smile is just the same: sweet and feeling like home.
When Jungkook walks to you and hugs you tight, you can't help but shed a tear.
"I missed you so much" You whisper, tightening your arms around his neck — you don't care if you're strangling him at this point
"Missed you too" He whispers back
"And..." You say as you are scooting away to grab the box you left on the ground "I got you a cake!"
Your excitement peaks through your voice, making Jungkook chuckles.
-----
It really feels like old times.
Jungkook's apartment hasn't changed at all. Well, you've been there a few times just to make sure that there wasn't any leaks from the upper flat, or to open the windows to change the air. But you missed it with Jungkook inside. It's like the whole place takes his energy.
As Jungkook takes care of his bag in his room, you settle everything you have prepared on his coffee table: cake and games. Several times a week, you were spending evenings together and you really want to find back this atmosphere.
You happily clap in your hands when your best friend appears in the living room. You light up the candles on the cake and start singing — not so good but you don't care — 'Welcome back, Kookie'.
Jungkook blows the candles and sits next to you on the couch. He has changed his clothes, opting for a style you know very well: baggy black t-shirt and oversized black sweatpants. He must feel good to finally dress as he wants.
"So" You start, already excited about this night "I have UNO, Monopoly, Cluedo but we can also play something on your Switch or we can watch a movie. I heard that the new one with Ryan Gosling is very n—"
"Y/N" Jungkook stops you
You can see he is a little embarrassed at the way he scratches his neck.
"Yes? Tell me" You encourage him, your usual sweet smile on your lips
"I don't want to be rude or anything, because it's super sweet what you've done but..." Your best friend chews on his lower lip — he used to chew his lip rings but they're gone "It's just that... I haven't done it for almost two years and I was expected to, you know, do it tonight"
Jungkook has a light blush on his cheeks that indicates that he is not as relaxed as his manspreading on the couch lets think.
But you're a little confused. You don't understand what he is trying to say.
"You don't want to play the games?" You try and Jungkook shakes his head lightly but doesn't dare to look at you "And you want to 'do it'? You mean going live on Twitch?"
Jungkook growls in frustration. It's so weird to talk about that with you. You're his best friend, it's not really the kind of conservations you two have.
"No!" He whines "God, Y/N, I want to fuck!"
You're speechless. And blushed. Because gosh, you never talk about that and you're also embarrassed not to have thought about it. You totally get that Jungkook wants to... blow off some steam.
You just didn't realize that he might have called one of the numerous girls that were crushing on him before he went to the army and asked her to join him tonight.
"Oh" You manage to say "I—" You clear your throat "I'll get going then. You can call me tomorrow or whenever"
You quickly stand up and try to hide the redness of your face. But Jungkook grabs your hand and pulls you down. You clumsily land on his lap, setting your knees on both sides of his hips last second to avoid hurting him.
Your heart stops at the intimate position. Never in a billion years you could have imagined being like this with your best friend. Your breathing stops too as you get to see Jungkook's face so close, maybe for the first time in your four years of friendship. He is handsome, always has been, so you don't know where to look: his eyes — not in their usual doe shape but way more intense —, his cute bubble nose or his lips. Yeah, your eyes definitely settle on them, especially when he slyly licks them and coats them with a thin and shiny layer of saliva.
You gulp and don't really know what to do. Yet, it seems very easy for Jungkook because his big and warm hands caress your waist, sending shivers down your spine.
"Let me fuck you. Please"
You don't know if he is begging or ordering because his voice is so hoarse. It's really, really hard to resist. And maybe his hot breathe caressing your face makes you a little high because you nod.
You fucking nod at your best friend asking if he can fuck you.
Worse, you feel aroused by the idea if you consider how your pussy is getting wet.
In just one second, Jungkook's lips are on yours. The kiss is not sweet at all, it's rough and urging. You're never witnessed this side of Jungkook and you already can tell that he loves being in control. He always has been the nice and caring friend but right now, he is like a starved man. His inked hand settles at the back of your neck, preventing you from escaping but you have absolutely no willing to do so.
His mouth literally owns yours, pressing his lips so hard that your teeth clink but it's not like you really care — this awesome kiss fogs your brain with horniness. He slides his tongue between your lips and you hum at his velvet muscle against yours.
His hands tightens their grip, bringing you closer to him. Your boobs are pressed against his torso and there is no another place for your arms but around his neck. His short hair tickles your fingers but it feels so soft at the same time. Too bad the kiss completely occupies your brain that you can't appreciate the sensation in your fingertips.
As Jungkook abandons your swollen lips for your neck, his hands are traveling down to rest on your hips as they urge you to grind on his hardening cock. You roll your hips, pressing your core against his crotch and gosh, it feels good. You are so, so glad you've chosen leggings today because you can feel his bulge. You press harder and harder against it, trying to satisfy the need of friction your throbbing clit demands. You are so, so wet that it's embarrassing.
You can't help a sweet moan from escaping your lip and it seems to make Jungkook crazy. He lifts up your body to make you lay on your back and grabs the hem of your leggings, tugging on them and your panties at the same time. You're surprised that he doesn't slide your clothes all the way down but stops mid-thighs, just enough to get a full view of your cunt, already glistening with arousal.
You don't even have time to grow embarrassed at the idea of your best friend looking at your pussy because Jungkook is in a rush.
"Pretty" He whispers with a hot smirk right before he dives into it
His hands strongly maintain your legs up against your chest while his tongue rolls around your clit. It feels so fucking good that you can't think straight. Maybe that's why you can't have enough sense to mutter your loud moans.
Jungkook changes his pattern by taking a big fat lap from your entrance, gathering on his tongue your arousal that was starting to drop through your hole. Your head rolls back and your hips buckle up just to feel more of him.
"Taste fucking sweet" He praises and you don't know why you feel so proud of it
The wet sounds of his mouth on your cunt are sinful and at this point, you don't know if your pussy is covered by your arousal or Jungkook's spit but you don't care. It's even hotter than he is eating you out so messily. The sloppy sounds are scandalous but it arouses so much that you feel like going crazy.
When he harshly sucks on your sensitive bud, you gasp and shut your eyes close. Your hands desperately try to hold on something but there is nothing to help you down the path of this pleasure.
"Oh god, oh god, oh god" You keep moaning
You're close, you know it. Your pussy keeps clenching around nothing and Jungkook's tongue doesn't slow down. His hands grips the flesh of your thighs harder, surely marking you with bruises, so you don't escape from the unbearable pleasure. And then, Jungkook decides to bring you straight to Heaven when his wet muscle enters you as deep as possible, making his nose bump into your clit. Your restrained legs due to your leggings and his grip only add to your arousal. You've never felt so overwhelmed by pleasure before but here you are: being eaten out by your best friend.
"Kookie, wait, I'm gonna— I'm gonna—" But you never finish your sentence
You scream something that sounds like his name as your legs shake in his grip and you cum on your best friend's face. Your walls clench around his vicious tongue that happily gathers your arousal pouring from your hole. You even feel him smirking against your cunt while he takes a final lap.
"Sweet juicy pussy" He says, making your blush "You're cute when you cum on my tongue, baby"
You don't really have time to catch your breathe because Jungkook grabs your waist and tosses you around so you're on your knees. He makes sure to bring your ass up, landing a harsh spank on your flesh. The stinging pain brings tears to your eyes but wetness to your pussy.
You rest your head on your couch, obediently waiting for Jungkook to pursue his needs.
"You're so fucking cute like that, your pussy full on display for me only, right?" He praises and claims you and doesn't miss how you clench
You both didn't know you had a praising kink but Jungkook will sure use it.
"You're gonna be a good girl and let me fuck you dumb, aren't you?"
You can feel the heat on your cheeks and you grow impatient to feel him inside you. Jungkook's hot, that's a fact. And the way he is acting right now makes you know that you won't be disappointed in his sex skills — not really surprising since Jungkook is good at everything.
You nod to answer, afraid to moan rather than to form words but it doesn't satisfy Jungkook. Another spank, way rougher than the first one, lands on your asscheek, making your jolt. A red mark in the shape of his palm instantly appears on your plump skin in the hottest way possible for your best friend. A sob leaves your mouth but you don't have time to realize it because Jungkook's tattooed hand goes up to gently caress your cheek, swiping away the tears.
"Talk when I ask you to"
His tone is quite severe and you're surprised how sexy you find it. You're never witnessed the dominant side of your best friend before, since you always saw him as a cute bunny.
"Yes" You reply, so politely, so innocently while your ass is up for your fucking best friend
"Good girl"
You hear some rustling of clothes, a sign that Jungkook is getting rid off of his shirt and slides down his sweatpants and briefs mid-thighs too.
You turn your head just enough to watch him pumping his absolutely huge cock. Your eyes widen as you wonder if you'll be able to take him. You haven't had a lot of partners but they surely can't compare with Jungkook's size.
The slight fear on your face is delightful for your best friend. He can see your pussy is tight and he can't wait to stretch your hole like it deserves to be. Honestly, he didn't plan to fuck you tonight. He thought he was going to text a random girl but after all, you're his best friend and you're the one who has planned a welcoming party.
Grabbing his thick dick at its base, Jungkook pats your sensitive clit with his tip. You jolt but moan, instinctively pushing your hips towards him. Some sticky links connect your pussy and his member in the most sinful way. Jungkook teases you again, rubbing his angry tip against your clit just to hear you groan his name.
However, he knows he won't last long and he has waited too long for a teasing game.
His free hand roughly grabs your asscheek, spreading it so he can fully see your beautiful cunt clenching. He lets a blob of spit slide along your puckered hole and down your pussy so he can penetrate you easily — actually, you are wet enough for that but your best friend just likes it messy.
He brings his cock to your entrance and pushes in. The tip is enough to stretch you out so much that the air is kicked out of your lungs. Your mouth opens, unable to make any sound, and your hand desperately grabs his forearm.
"You're so big" You gasp, another tear rolling down your cheek
It doesn't help that you're in this position: you can feel him better like this, aware of every since inch inside you.
"Too much?" Jungkook asks, genuinely worried
Despite how horny he is, he doesn't want to hurt you. If you tell him right now to stop, he'll do. Even though the way your walls throb are so fucking good, and he has just put the tip.
"No, it's okay. Just—" You take a deep breathe "Just wait a sec" You say
Jungkook nods and draws some soothing circles on your asscheek. And it works: he can feel you relaxing which allows him to slide more inches of his cock into your tight cunt.
You won't lie: the stretch is almost unbearable but the sensation of being so full makes you high. Way beyond clouds. You're feeling completely euphoric of your best friend's dick inside you.
"Fuck, you fill me up so good" You can't help but confess
"You're such a good girl, baby, taking me all" He smirks, rewarded you with a nice spank on your already red ass
When all his length is swallowed by your dripping cunt, you feel him deep, deep inside. You need a minute to get used to his size but it's damn hard for Jungkook to stay still when he has been waiting for so long and when you poor dripping cunt squeezes him so tightly. He can't control how his dick twitches, making you moan and clench tighter.
Your best friend attempts a faint dick stroke, earning a gasp or a moan from you, he can't define but the bliss on your face is unmistakable. This spurs him to pull out more, until just his tip is caged between your walls, and to slam back inside completely.
"Fuck, Kookie" You moan
"You like that, uh?" You nod frenetically, especially when Jungkook provides a rough cock stroke "Who knew you were such a good slut"
You don't quite know what to respond when Jungkook fucks you so good that your brain can't work. You just moan loudly, not caring one bit about Mrs. Kim, his 83 year-old neighbor.
The strength of Jungkook's poundings makes you jolt and if he wasn't holding you tight by digging his nails into the flesh of your ass, you'd be completely resting on your stomach by now. Even though his grip will surely bruise you, you absolutely don't give a fuck, not when you have such a good dick inside you.
"Fuck, you feel so fucking good, baby" He hisses when you clench around him
You're not sure you'll last long. And maybe your body is not connected to your head anymore because it only seems to seek for your release. You start to bounce back on Jungkook's cock, slapping your ass against his lap each time.
Your best friend watches in awe how naughty you become despite your usual innocence and he just wants to see your fucked up face more. For that, he grabs a good amount of your hair and tugs on it. Your back is so fucking arched that it feels like you're going to break in two but you don't care. The only thing you can feel is this good cock in you.
"Kookie, I'm so close" You whine
Jungkook might have the same goal as you: making you cum, because he wraps his other arm around your chest and lifts up against his torso. He makes sure to have a strong hold on you and forcefully provides you his amazing dick strokes.
The new angle is the perfect one, his cock hitting your sweet spot repeatedily and you have no other choice than to gasp. You've never been fucked this good and you don't even know how to breathe correctly anymore.
Jungkook's growls of pleasure as he buries his face in the crook of your neck and the sound of your skins clapping fog your brain. You grab his tattooed hand and place it around your throat. Jungkook gets the message and chokes you.
"You're such a naughty girl" He teases you, bitting your skin as he gives you powerful poundings "I'm sure that you like being fucked dumb, right baby?"
"Yes!" You scream despite your blocked throat
You're high on sex and low on oxygen: the perfect mix to bring you on cloud nine. It's like Jungkook already knows all the things you love about sex. But he is your best friend, he knows everything else so why not that? And if he is so good with you, then you don't mind sharing all your secrets with him.
"You're gonna come for me?"
You nod at that but almost bend over when Jungkook's vicious fingers find your clit despise your tied legs. He is circling it so fast that your legs shiver. Thankfully, his large palm around your air column prevents you from escaping his delightful treatment.
"Fuck, Kookie" You sob, shaking in his hold
"Cum for me, cum on my cock" He urges you "I know that you're a good girl and good girls cum when they are told to do so"
The specific knot builds inside you, and you don't know what you are saying anymore. You are not even aware of your tears on your cheeks and the drool at the edge of your mouth anymore. Your toes curl and you dig your nails in his forearms when you reach your high. White dots paint your vision, even though your eyes are closed.
You might be screaming Jungkook's name but you're not sure. You are just too far gone.
You fall miserably on your couch, trying your best to keep your ass up because your best friend hasn't stopped nor slowed down one bit. He has pushed you all the way through your orgasm and even beyond, so much that it's almost barely impossible for you to take him anymore. His dick is just too big, stretching your walls that are begging to clench.
"Please, Kookie" You beg, tears of overstimulation appearing on your face "Come now, I can't— I can't anymore"
"I'm almost there, hold on for me" Jungkook reassures you, his voice a little softer
He knows that you are taking more than you can right now: the way your body shakes is a clear sign. He is close too and a last slap on your abused ass helps him.
He pulls out suddenly, leaving your hole gaping and stupidly empty, and pumps his soaked with your juices cock to cum on your ass. The contrast between your red asscheeks and his thick white seeds is perfect. Jungkook pants while he looks at his masterpiece, a satisfied smirked on his lips.
Exhausted, you fall on his couch, almost falling asleep right after.
"You're okay?" He worries
"Uhm, uhm" You nod
"It's the best welcome party ever" He brightly smiles at your tired face and you can't help but give his smile back "Thank you so much, Y/N"
731 notes · View notes
ilysmtay · 6 months
Text
☆ꕥ☆
seeing them in the hallway, making brief eye contact. the tension rising between you two without even realizing they think of you the same way at night.
they think about you laying next to them,
naked underneath their sheets,
hugging onto their arm
your scent filling their senses, making them smile.
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bearseulgs · 3 months
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[16:32]
tutor!reader x ni-ki
genre: fluff
wc: 347
warnings: cheesy flirting, reader jokingly calls Riki a "sleaze", statistics class
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You sat in the library, waiting for Riki to arrive. When he got there, you opened your bag and got your work out as he did the same. The table was quite covered with all the schoolwork you needed to cover with him. Leaving your bag open, you made sure to tell the boy, "If any of your belongings fall into my bag, feel free to grab them, no hesitations." He just nodded and you smiled at him.
About an hour had passed, half of your session over already, and Riki seemed to be in his own world as you moved on to the next topic. You rapped your pencil sharply on his textbook, startling him back to reality. He apologized sheepishly as you chuckled at his behavior. "What about this chapter is confusing you?" you asked, returning your attention to the statistics papers in front of you two.
"Ah... all of it together? I know some individual concepts, but once you put in all these words together, like discrete random variables and the Z-score, I get lost."
"Understandable. Let me get some notes out, I think I have an explanation written somewhere." You rifled through your bag, looking for the probability notes that had come out of your binder. Huffing in frustration, you dug further, unable to find them, when suddenly you felt a warm hand on yours. Looking up in surprise, you see Riki holding your hand in his own. "Is everything alright, Riki?"
He smiled, a bit abashed, and brought your hand up to the table. "You said if anything of mine fell into your bag, to grab it, no hesitations." He laughed as you withdrew your hands from his, bringing them up to your face to hide your embarrassment.
When you collected yourself enough to look at him, you mumbled, "Gosh, Riki, you're such a sleaze," not meaning a word you said.
He feigned confusion, innocently replying, "But I was just getting my things out to study statistics." As you rolled your eyes, he laughed again.
"Go back to your textbook, Riki."
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a/n: this was such a great concept in my head and i have no idea how to fully properly convey it in any human language i speak
©️ bearseulgs 2024
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starrystevie · 1 year
Text
it's 2004 when steve finds himself back in hawkins for the first time since he moved away for good. he has a master's degree under his belt, a mortgage on a house outside of st. louis with a dog and picket fence, and a rockstar that wormed his way into his heart next to him in bed every night. he's closer to 50 than he is to 20 and life feels good, life feels settled, figured out in a way he never thought he'd get to see.
"you gonna tell me why you're shakin' like a leaf?"
but sitting across from wayne munson and his sharp gaze is enough to make him feel like a teenager again.
steve takes a sip from his glass of water before setting it down on the end table next to him and watches the way wayne's finger taps against the side of his coffee cup. it's like he's keeping rhythm with something that steve can't hear, like a drum beat in his head that proves that he's the reason eddie has musical talent.
"i'm fine," he responds back to wayne, a stilted smile crossing his face. wayne's gaze deepens like he he doesn't believe him. "i'm fine!"
there's a clock ticking somewhere in the living room and the faucet in the kitchen is dripping quietly and it makes the silence that falls between them even more deafening. steve takes in a deep breath and nods absently as he rubs his palms over his denim clad knees.
"is he in trouble?" wayne asks in a gruff voice, low and to the point. steve shakes his head immediately, stutters out something that sounds like no, and wayne looks at him with his eyebrows pinched together. "are you in trouble?"
"no, it's not-" steve stands up and paces out some of his nerves, hands shoved into his pockets so that he stops waving them around. he sighs and looks back at wayne. "it's nothing bad."
"if it ain't bad, then just say it."
steve groans and runs his hands through his hair. it's harder to do this than he thought it would be, quite possibly the hardest thing he's done in years and that's including having to admit to eddie that he does indeed like the stupid beard he grew as a dare from jeff. wayne is still staring at him with a determined look, like he won't let steve get away with any of his usual charming bullshit, and looks so much like eddie that it makes something in his heart explode.
"fine! i'm asking eddie to marry me and i need your permission or something. happy old man?" he finally says, or well, shouts. it's too loud in the quiet house and he can see wayne wince from the decibel he reaches but it's out. it's off his chest and he's finally said it.
and wayne is smiling.
seeing him smile is strange, not because he doesn't look good with a smile, but because it's not often that steve gets to bear witness to it. it starts off slow, clipped at the edges before it spreads to his cheeks and crinkles his eyes. steve's breathing hard when wayne stands up and wraps his hands around the tops of his shoulders. he can feel himself shaking under wayne's grip and from this close, he can see the tears that he knows wayne is fighting against.
"it's about damn time, boy. took you two long enough to pull your heads outta your backsides."
getting hugged by wayne is almost weirder than seeing him smile. it's short, to the point, with pats on backs and chuckles that break loose from steve's too tight chest. part of him wishes eddie were here to let him be a part of the moment, but it would ruin the surprise he's so carefully planned, so he revels in the rare time between just the two of them.
"had to wait for somewhere to allow it first, wayne," steve mutters as they pull apart and he feels hope unfurl somewhere within him when he says it.
"well, alright, i guess you're off that hook then. but y'know," wayne's sitting back down in his arm chair and steve does the same, matching grins plastered on their faces. "you don't need my permission. that boy is crazy over you and if you think you ain't a part of this family already, then you're crazier than he is."
steve looks around at the pictures on the shelf behind wayne's head. sees young eddie and wayne with arms around each other, sees a makeshift graduation picture, an out of focus one of the two of them outside their house in missouri, one of all three of them around the chritmas tree in '99 when they had wayne come down to see them, and he thinks, yeah. they're already a family. at least now it'll be paper official.
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Hii dear, how do you think Bucky would react to reader asking him to touch himself while she watches?
I am so sorry, this took way too long, but inspiration hit me and I think you might like it, so here ya go! Let me know what you think.
“Absolutely not.”
Zero room for negotiation. Exactly what you expected when you planned to ask Bucky to try something new. And exactly the challenge that you were looking for, because heat has already started to compress low in your belly at the idea of getting him to cave now.
Not that Bucky comes up short in the bedroom – not at all. But he isn’t the most flexible when it comes to trying new things, even if you are certain that there is a part of Bucky that revels in sexual exploration. After all, with his strong physique and heavy training, in combination with his dark mentality, he has so much potential to take it …far in the bedroom. And the burden falls on you to prod and poke until he allows himself to indulge in all his heart desires – for you to eventually indulge in him.
“Why not?” you plead at him.
He arches a brow at you and continues making the bed with you, arms flexing as he works. “Because why would I masturbate in front of you when I can fuck you?”
Jeez, he truly is a caveman sometimes…
“Because it’s hot, Bucky. I want to watch you torture yourself,” you tell him like it’s the most obvious thing on the planet and this time Bucky pauses before giving you a compressed smile. Maybe torture wasn’t the best word…
“You think it’s hot, because you think masturbating is torture for me?” he asks and you study him, wary all of sudden, since you have a feeling he is about to prove you wrong.
“Buck–”
“No,” he interrupts you, giving the duvet one last shake as he finishes making the bed and turns to you fully. “You want me to fuck my fist while you watch? Fine. You will watch...” A long pause. “ – and only watch.”
This is torture.
“Bucky,” you plead, breathless from less than nothing, “come on, stop teasing.”
He answers with only a smirk and the flex of his hand around his base, dragging it up and pressing more blood to the throbbing head of his cock. You would think him teasing himself would destroy him, but apparently the sight of you is enough to edge himself endlessly.
You buck your hips up and shimmy down on the mattress, tugging at the restraints that keep your wrists tied to the headboard. This position is even less comfortable, but you barely notice over the pleading ache between your hips. He just looks so fucking good pleasing himself. Your breath hitches when you feel your own arousal drip down between your ass and you quickly press your thighs together in embarrassment.
But Bucky’s eyes darken and his stare turns into that of warning. Standing at the edge of the bed, one knee pressed into the mattress and his dark-blue jeans popped open to let his cock bob against his rough abdomen, you swallow a whine at the sight of him.
“Legs open, sweetheart,” he reminds you and you instantly snap them open with the feeble hope that he will allow you to have him sooner. He watches your naked chest rise and fall with frustrated breaths, your hands turning and twisting against the restraints.
Utterly naked and tied up before him as he strokes and strokes and strokes himself until you’re drooling, you feel helpless before him. It’s pathetic how this is the thing that can bring you to a whining and whimpering state. And he hasn’t even touched you. Your skin was already on fire when he stroked his knuckles down your arms after tying you up. All he has done is throw more gas onto it.
His eyes drag down your body to watch your cunt, and it pulsates in answer to his stare, making him chuckle under his breath. Your toes curl into the sheets and you close your eyes to take a controlled breath, desperately grappling for something of power. But you have noticed something.
You were wondering why you were eyeing him so expectantly at the beginning, waiting for something, only to find out you were waiting for sounds. For him to groan, or whimper, or– Fuck it, you would take the sound of a hitched breath. But barely anything made it past his lips and you realise with pride burning in your chest like a thousand suns, he only loses control like that when it’s you touching him.
He’s too stubborn to make sounds otherwise, crack his pride to show you how much you affect him. But you’ve seen him lose his restraint. You’ve seen him gasp with that first heavenly thrust, felt his fist tighten in your hair and heard the filthiest moan known to man against the shell of your ear.
So all you have to do is remind him. You open your eyes.
“Let me lick it,” you tell him and Bucky freezes, his eyes hardening on yours.
“What,” he snaps, teeth gritting.
“Let me taste you,” you continue. “Come on, I can see you want to come, Bucky. Come in my mouth.”
You can see his brain working over hours and you bite back the smug smirk that wants to break through when you see his cock throb and his fist tighten over it. His eyes flash and he crawls onto the bed, shedding his jeans and boxers as he crawls over. It is all you can do not to arch your entire body towards him, the anticipation dripping down into the sheets from between your legs.
“You want to have a taste?” he nearly whispers and crawls between your legs, his lips hovering over yours. And you would wrap your ankles around him and trap him, or tilt your chin and kiss the breath from him, if it wouldn’t put you back to square one of begging for your man.
You nod. Barely.
“Close your eyes,” he commands and you do so instantly. “Open your mouth.” You do.
You wait for the warm, salty taste of him, your breath quickening when you feel the proximity of Bucky and nothing more. It feels like hours that you lay there, waiting for something – anything – from him.
And just when you’re about to protest and tell him to hurry the fuck up, the breath gets knocked out of you and you arch up to the ceiling with his cock buried so deep into your cunt you lose each and every thought. The long, raspy, filthy moan that follows at that feeling gets swallowed by Bucky’s greedy mouth and he groans in response, like a breath he has been holding for over an hour.
“That was torture,” he mumbles against your lips, his resolve clearly faltering. “Watching your drip for me, beg for me, right in front of my nose. Nothing compares to you.”
You sigh at his words and tug at the restraints when he pulls out. Opening your mouth to protest, another sounds garbles out when he pushes in to the very hilt again and every wall of yours hugs him into you further. Fuck, he’s in deep. Slow, steady, with a sharp push at the end that makes your eyes nearly roll to the back of your head. He presses kiss after kiss after kiss to your swollen lips and he whispers and mumbles things to you that you can barely make out as he starts thrusting in and out of you. Some things are in Russian or Bulgarian or–
Fuck, his voice. “I want to feel your legs around me. Want your fingers in my hair,” he grunts and you can barely make sense of his rambling. “Want to feel you squeeze me and I want to taste you,” he lets out a starved groan, “God, I want to fucking taste you.”
In a second, he has pulled out of you, pulled away from you and crawls between your legs. His strong arms and hands manhandle your legs tightly around his head and you don’t get time to squawk in surprise before his whole mouth engulfs your throbbing pussy and you melt into the sheets until you yourself are nothing but silk and softness.
“Oh, Bucky,” you whine and he hums against you in delight, one wide hand spreading over your belly and squeezing as he eats you up.
He licks and nibbles and sucks and devours you whole. And when his tongue pushes into your hole slowly, you writhe against him and hiccup for breaths. Nothing is enough, everything is too much. You don’t know what you want from him, you don’t know what you are or want to become. You only know Bucky is the way to get it. To get relief and extasy and pleasure and warmth and Jesus Christ, this man will kill you.
“I counted,” he mumbles against you. “You watched me fuck my fist for ten minutes.” You gasp for breath as his nose circles against your clit and he inhales deeply. “So I get to make you come at least ten times.”
Oh no, oh no, oh no–  “Holy fucking shit!”
“One.”
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gardenofnoah · 8 months
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cw: MDNI, smut, reader referred to as “her” and a girl once, voyerism, katsuki has a complex (this was a random fantasy that hit me as i was walking down the sidewalk yesterday idk)
“look at me.”
it’s unnecessary, of course, because you can’t see anything but katsuki. broad and hunched over you—you feel like prey. neither hunted, nor caught—you go to bed with the lion willingly.
he keeps his eyes on you when he moves. hips pushing forward only slightly—he drags it out, expression only hungry and eager to see you fall apart as he breaks you open. you whimper, eyelids fluttering and still trying your best to listen, to be good—after all, it’s the whole point of this.
katsuki doesn’t like to share. it was never shocking to you and you’d never thought to push back against his protectiveness—the feeling was mutual. you also weren’t oblivious—the crush eijiro had on you was palpably felt by each of you, with the expectation that it would never be acted upon. it was only after a night spent huddled together, drunk and emboldened by it in the secluded back booth of the bar, that you found out something new about katsuki that did shock you.
katsuki doesn’t like to share, but he doesn’t mind being watched.
katsuki had pulled you into his lap right there in the booth—in front of eijiro—cooing into your ear, alcohol-tinged breath fanning across your skin just to make you shiver. something about show ei how pretty you are for me. you hid your face in his neck and felt how his fingers had bunched up the denim at your waist, pulling up—the fat of your ass spilling out of your shorts in direct view of the redhead across from you. fate had sealed itself when katsuki had run a finger down the seam of your shorts and all three of you groaned.
that in itself should’ve never come as a surprise to you, given the man’s explosive and often attention-seeking demeanor, but he tended to dull that side of himself for you. you were his, and only his. but this was different. underneath him, keening and writhing around the stretch of him, you know it’s different, because eijiro sits 5 feet to your left.
it was strange at first, and you felt a little shy, but it was easy to come back into katsuki’s orbit. you weren’t sure if eijiro could even see you over his view of katsuki’s body, or if it even mattered—you found you’d forgotten him completely until he’d let out a soft groan at your whimpering.
“what d’you want, baby?” cooing down at you, katsuki brings you back to him—nosing at your cheek and fucking you so, so slowly. it’s overwhelming—it feels a little like torture and you want more of it.
“please kiss me—“ it tumbles out of your mouth fast and pitiful, body spasming with each languid push of his hips to yours. never have you wanted to feel bruising smear of his mouth like this. never have you felt need like this. “—please kat, i need—“
“oh, my poor baby.” his teasing brings tears to your eyes—flushed hot with embarrassment that rapidly gives way to unabashed want. “what d’ya think, ei—should i give her a kiss?”
both you and the man in question whimper—katsuki is being cruel and all of you know it, but it only serves to heighten the tension—in your belly and between the three of you. you hear a rasped laugh from the side of the room. “you’re being mean, kat.”
“shut the fuck up.” it’s muttered without any heat, all of katsuki’s focus on you and the way his words make you clench around him. crimson eyes boring through yours, he makes it hard to see anything else.
you grab at the arms on either side of your head, scraping blunt nails down to the sensitive skin of his wrists. he groans, the sudden, rough snap of his hips seemingly an unconscious response. you hear the faint scrape of a zipper to your left, but you know not to let your eyes follow the sound. you don’t think you could if you wanted to.
you love him—it’s the only thing you can think, looking at the strain of his shoulders above you, the bead of sweat that slips down the curve of his throat. you lean up to catch it with your tongue and whisper your love to the rapid flutter of his pulse.
“you love me?” he murmurs, reaching up between you to cover your throat with a hot palm, guiding you back down to the pillows—“just me, baby?”
“only you,” you feel delirious underneath him—the constant, aching drag of him inside of you and the feeling of his hand around your throat. knowing he’ll never tighten his grip—knowing he doesn’t need to. he has all of you. “you, kat, only you—“
“yeah,” he breathes, nodding like it wasn’t rhetorical after all—like he needed to be reminded—“tell ei how fuckin’ good your man makes you feel.”
he grits his teeth and reaches down to pull one of your legs up over his hip—and oh, it’s too much, like this. it’s a deep grind, and faster—his hand leaves your throat to reach down and rub some of the mess you’ve made over your achy little clit. the hot, wet circling of his fingers pulls something entirely incoherent out of you.
“so good,” you croak through tears, barely audible over the wet slap of skin—grabbing frantically for any stretch of skin your fingers can find, trying to pull him to you. “so so good—please baby i need—“
he indulges you then—leans down and presses his mouth to yours so sweetly and gently that it shocks you into an orgasm that lights you on fire. you sob into his mouth and he swallows it all—holding you close while you thrash underneath him—still bullying his way into walls that threaten to milk him dry.
“there you go,” despite the violence of the way he shatters you he speaks to you gently—lowly in between kisses to your cheeks, forehead, and jaw in a way that can only be just for you. “good girl—i got ya—“
he lets out soft moans that make your eyes roll back into your head as he fucks you through it—the drag of his cock along your insides almost loving, romantic—like he’s trying to savor it. it feels never ending—he keeps moving and you keep cumming until you’re shivering in his arms.
“my baby,” he whispers into your temple, wrapping around you as if to shield you. a secret only for you to hear, coming back down. “my baby.”
he’s still hard inside you, and you know exactly why, but you leave it be. his fingers reach down to drag across your skin, drawing shapes into the curve of your hip. something he’s never done before—something that can only be seen by eijiro.
you don’t know what it means. you’ll ask him about it later, when sleep isn’t dangling over your head.
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teddybeartoji · 2 months
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thinking about burying your face into shoko's chest when the scary movie is getting a litte too scary during the usual sashisu get-together. suguru is acting all calm, (you know his heartbeat is racing, though. he's not as cool as he thinks) surpressing a little smirk while satoru is clutching onto his sweater for his dear life.
shoko isn't focused on the boys, nor is she focused on the tv screen that's filled with blood and guts – your scrunched up face being way more intriguing. she's trying to be smooth, trying to just catch a proper glimpse of you but it's hard without making a fuss. she needs to turn her head and she knows that's gonna get your attention; she doesn't want that. she wants to look at you without you looking back. she wants to study you and your face, you and you expressions, you and your birthmarks and you and your scars. she can't do that if you're staring up at her. she can't study you like that - she'll get distracted.
but c'mon, you're right there – one hand on her stomach, holding yourself up a little while the other is lost somewhere between your bodies. she has to look at you.
and she does. from what she can see, your face is in fact all scrunched up and it is in fact as adorable as she'd thought it'd be. your eyebrows are furrowed, eyes screwed shut as the screaming and yelling continues booming from the tv. your bottom lip is a little jutted out; shoko's lips twitch. so do her fingers.
her one hand is securely holding wine glass while the other... has somehow found its way to your back. for comfort, she thinks to herself. she didn't even realize it was there. instinct, she thinks to herself.
she leans back a mere inch, eager to see more of your pained face but that's when your eyes open; staring right back at her, you feel small. you feel flustered. she has that effect on you. the fingers on your back have now found a lock of hair, twirling the ends between her fingers; surely tainting you with the faint tobacco smell. you don't care.
"scared?" she whispers. her lips move so smoothly, the dark hue of them inviting you in. maroon; the mixture of her own lipstick and the wine - you wonder how she'd taste.
"maybe..." you whisper back. she hums quietly, trying not to attract attention from the boys a few feet away.
"aw..."
it's hard not to burn at her words, her small coo.
"what about you, hm?" you hum back and she can feel it; feel it start from the back of your throat and make its way through your body and then through hers. you're so close. "your heart is beating pretty fast. you sure you're not scared?"
...
it's not often you, or anybody else for that matter, is able to catch her off-guard. this is... new.
she just blinks down at you a few times, her pretty eyelashes fluttering against her soft pale skin. her lips part, yet nothing comes out. for about twenty seconds, it's just you and her. no blood, no gore, no tv, no boys, no noise, no nothing - only her eyes and your eyes. when your own lips quirk up, ready to bark out a tease at her - satoru screams, pulling your attention from her.
while suguru is muffling trying to muffle satoru's awful noises by slapping a palm in front of his mouth and you're trying to keep your laughter from bubbling up - shoko is still staring at you.
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suiana · 8 months
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Had the most meanest idea for Yan! Ex crush
Imagine still being friends with him after he constantly rejected you over and over but as time goes on your treat him like your bestest friend and nothing else and being somewhat touchy way how lovers would with him
(like in a joking way ofc) and slowly driving him insane with those touches when he finally realizes he does like you back
🐄
oh my god bro imagine 😭
"do you like me?"
"what? no way, you're like, my sibling."
the man replies, eyes wide as he stares at you. of course you're just like his sibling! it's not like he notices the way your eyelashes flutter with every blink, the way your hand is so so close to his, your soft, pretty lips... he could just-
"hey what are you doing..?"
your voice snaps him back to reality as his cheeks heat up. he stumbles backwards, hand supporting his fall onto the chair as your cute face scrunches up in concern.
ah, so he likes you more than just a sibling.
shit.
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jude-shotto · 1 year
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[ Gavin and Nines doing something dumb to rescue a kitten. - for Klayr de Gall💖]
Confession time: I read a drabble like this before so this therefore inspired by that so, dear author of said drabble, this is for you much love and kudos!
G9 cat squad! Have Sparky the android cat xD! Update: Here is the drabble in question by the lovely @embershx!
You can check out the days early up on Patreon!
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xielianslver · 2 months
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Waiting for your silly little webtoons to update is like waiting for your husband to come back from war
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Robin never really got boys talk.
When Sarah turned 14 she invited all the girls in band for a sleepover. It started out fun. After her parents went to bed they put on a creepy horror movie and watched it in a huge cuddle pile. They braided each other's hair and did each other's nails and squeezed each other during tense scenes and muffled their shrieks after a sudden jumpscare.
After that they watched another one. This time Sarah sneaked her mother's makeup kit down to the living room, and so lipstick and eyeshadow joined the mess of nail polish, hair clips and snacks already on the floor.
The second movie was different. In the first one, the blood was obviously fake and the acting wasn't the best (to say the least). But the second one was tense through and through. The cries of pain were so visceral that Robin shuddered, and in the end everyone was terrified. It was silently and unanimously agreed upon that everyone had had enough TV for the night. It was already 3 in the morning, but tomorrow was the weekend and right now Robin wouldn't be able to sleep even if she wanted to, and thus began Robin's first real boys talk.
It was funny at first. Sarah pretended to die of heartbreak when "the blond hot one" was unfortunately the second to die. Heather said the nerdy one with glasses and abs was cuter, which started a very heated discussion of whether blond or brown is the more attractive hair color. Robin had to defend her correct "redheads" opinion all by herself.
(When the others got into a stalemate Sarah turned to Robin. "C'mon", she pleaded, "you know that the blond one was hotter. Just tell us which one you found prettier! And don't forget that this is my birthday party."
Robin laughed at the ribbing, played a bit hard to get, until she finally admitted. "I actually found the first one who died the prettiest." Sarah was already halfway through her victory dance, when Robin corrected her. "No, I don't mean the dude. I mean the first one. The girl with the pink purse."
Everything was silent for a moment.
Then Emma laughed. "You don't have to be jealous Robin", she consoled, "you are also very pretty."
"Yeah, especially after our makeover!"
Robin laughed and agreed and continued on as if her world just hadn't been turned on its axis. Because she knew that the stirring in her gut and the beating of her heart had nothing to do with jealousy. She didn't find the blond one hot or the brunet one cute. That was the first time she really knew it. She liked the girl.)
It was a bit funny the first time, even though she couldn't really join. It got less funny the more it went on. Suddenly boys was the only thing everyone wanted to talk about. And worse: it wasn't just unreachable famous boys like singers or actors anymore. Suddenly it was all "oh, Steve Harrington is sooooo cute" or "oh my god, Tommy Hagan had suuuuuuch a glowup" and "I want to lick the sweat of his body after basketball practice" (this last one was applicable to multiple different people, including Steve and Tommy. It was not applicable for Chrissy when she exited cheerleading practice or Beth after football.)
She thought it would get better when Emma finally confessed to her crush and they actually got together, but no. It somehow got worse. Because "normal boy talk" turned into "experienced boy talk", and Robin wasn't allowed to admit that the only thing that got wet when she thought of Billy Hargrove was her mouth, because he made her want to throw up.
At first she'd say that she didn't have crushes. After a while of people refusing to believe her (even if she was telling the truth! Sometimes.) she started pretending to be into Steve Harrington. Every girl had a crush on Steve, so it made sense that she'd been embarrassed to admit that she was just like everybody else. He was way too far above her league for her friends to force her to "confess" and she could stare without fear when he passed by in the halls with the beautiful Tammy Thompson in his arms. Truly, it was a brilliant plan. It didn't stop the boys talk, though.
So she became a tomboy. She joined football and she hung out with boys and she cut her long hair into a bob. She lost a bit of touch with Emma and Sarah and the others, but she tried not to think about it too much. Instead she threw herself into sports and started hanging out more and more with Matt, the second trumpet in band.
And that was that. Sometimes she missed wearing dresses, but it was a relief not to have her mother insisting she "do something about that hair" anymore. She and Matt became best friends. She even considered telling him for a while. Until he sat her down and confessed his feelings.
She tried to let him down as gently as possible, and they never talked again. The cycle would repeat for multiple times.
Someone out there is laughing their ass off because who would have thought that the dude she pretended to have a crush on would turn out to be the missing half of her soul?
It started out like always. She teased him, he laughed. They suffered through customer service together. He was funny and surprisingly in touch with his emotions and apparently babysat a bunch of middle schoolers, which was equally hilarious and adorable to watch. They both enjoy sports and they both hate Billy Hargrove with a passion and Robin is heartbroken because she knows she can't get attached. She has already been through this too many times to allow it to happen again. She gets close with a guy, they become best friends, he confesses, she can't reciprocate, they never talk again.
This is what is going to happen. She should already be used to it, but it still hurts. It's better for her to keep her distance. To encourage him to flirt with other girls, even if she can see that he mostly does it to amuse her.
And then they uncover an actual real life Russian spy network right beneath their place of work like some fucking blockbuster. And then they are pumped up with drugs and the next thing she knows is that they are both throwing up in a cinema bathroom.
And then it happens. Of course it happens.
He starts his little speech and her heart is already breaking. She surprises herself when she realizes how much she started enjoying Steve's company. He is a dingus, but she is also a dingus and they just fit.
She is already preparing her apology in her head (oh fuck work is going to be so awkward), but what comes out instead is what she wishes she could've said every time this happened. What she wished she could have said every time she got close to another person, every time her parents questioned if she finally found a boyfriend. Something she really tried not to feel ashamed of, but it was so fucking hard when you had to keep it hidden all the time.
(She remembers when she used to train in front of the mirror. She would stare at herself and repeat again and again "I am Robin Buckley and I am a lesbian. I am a lesbian. I am-")
She doesn't breathe as she waits for what she knows what comes next. What has to come next. There is a reason she never told anyone, always kept it hidden and to herself even if she wanted to scream it into the world. He will mock her and he will out her and he will be disgusted and-
"Tammy Thompson?!"
Instead they have girls talk. And Robin finally gets it.
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frickingnerd · 8 months
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i'd stop the world for you
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pairing: toshinori yagi / all might x gn!reader
summary: the pro hero number one, all might, confesses to you and you're a little startled...
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"you… love me?"
you looked up surprised at the number one hero. he was smiling at you with that famous 'i am here' smile and you couldn't tell if he was being serious with you. then again, would japan's number one hero really pull a prank like that on one of his colleagues? 
"i do! that's why i said it"
he kept smiling at you, his lips not even twitching for a second. he almost looked like an action figure instead of a real person, standing still and staring at you. 
"why me..?"
for the first time, he stopped smiling. just for a short moment. he looked at you softly, before resting a hand on your shoulder and smiling again. only this time, he looked much more sincere. it wasn't that smile he gave the press when he came to someone's rescue. that smile belonged to toshinori yagi, the person behind the title of japan's number one. 
"why not you?"
you chuckled amused. 
"if you're asking because i could have anyone as the number one hero, then that's my reply" he paused. "but if you truly don't see what's so special about you, then let me tell you that you are the person i trust most. you are not just my ally but my friend. i don't have to pretend when i'm around you. and i know that you like me for myself and not my title"
you looked up at him, eyes widening as he spoke. that's how he viewed your relationship? you were honored and relieved to hear how much he liked and trusted you. 
"in that case, it would only be fair to let you know that i feel the same way about you too, toshi…"
your heart was beating faster as you smiled at the blonde man in front of you. 
"i love you too..!"
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muertawrites · 2 years
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Same!!! I always have this thought in my head of Wayne telling eddy’s girlfriend or Dustin or just a friend “His mothers dead. And his father is in prison for putting her in the ground.”
!!!!!!!!!!!! that dialogue!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tell the duffers they're out of a job and all it took was a fuckin sentence
i can just imagine like. eddie doesn't talk about his family or his past. just wayne. just his life after ten years old or so.
you don't ask about it. the one time you did he got uncharacteristically quiet. his face totally fell and he got really pale. like all the life just completely drained from him.
"i don't like talking about it," was all he said.
so you avoid the subject.
then one day you're chillin at the house (wayne was able to upgrade after the earthquake) when you find a family picture. they're rare, since what few photos wayne had were mostly lost when the upside down became the right side up, but you can tell this one was salvaged. it's of a younger wayne and a dark-haired woman, sitting at a table. in her arms is an infant with a stark patch of black curls.
"that's julia."
wayne startles you, the way he can always move around so quietly. he walks up next to you and lifts the photo from its place on the bookshelf, holding it so you can get a better look.
"eddie's mom."
"... what happened to her?"
wayne takes you into the kitchen and makes the two of you some coffee. he sets with the photo between the two of you on the table, silent for a while as he finds the words.
"julie was a good woman," he tells you. "had a kind heart. too kind. fell in with my bastard brother thinkin' she could fix him. all he did was beat her blind. when eddie was ten, she was gonna leave. move 'em to chicago. rob found out and wouldn't have none of it. beat her so bad she was unrecognizable. neighbors called the cops, rob was arrested, and julia died in the hospital. i thank god every day that eddie was asleep and didn't have to see none of it."
you notice that wayne's hand is shaking, so you take it to steady him. he grips you so hard your circulation threatens to stop.
"i loved julia like a sister. and she loved her little boy. he's the reason that sick son of a bitch will rot in prison for the rest of his life. went and testified in front of a whole courtroom about the abuse his father did to him. was only eleven."
both of you are weeping at this point. unbeknownst to you, eddie lingers in the hall, listening to his uncle's retelling and biting back his own tears.
"he grew up into a good man. got his mother's soul. handsome as the devil like his father without the evil behind his eyes. smart as a whip, too."
eddie clears his throat. you whirl around, swallowing thickly when you meet his eye. he smiles, the expression half-formed and broken at the edges, and joins you at the table.
"it's okay," he whispers. his voice is choked. "i'm okay."
a few weeks later he takes you to her grave. you bring flowers, and he introduces you to her as if she can actually hear him. maybe she can. the spot is so peaceful, you can almost imagine her sitting there with you, kissing your cheeks and welcoming you into her little corner of bliss.
you and eddie visit julia every year on her birthday after that. you pack a picnic, and eddie brings his guitar and you a book, and you spend the day there. he shares memories of her - how she taught him to sew, how she had the most beautiful singing voice, how her pancakes are still the best he's ever had.
it isn't too many years until you're holding a dark-haired infant of your own, propping her up in your lap as you settle into the blanket for another annual picnic. the little girl giggles as she reaches for her father, tugging locks of his mane and grasping at the guitar pick dangling from his neck (he chuckles when she puts it in her mouth).
you lean in close to the headstone and whisper, so only you and the universe can hear:
"her name is julia."
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spamgyu · 3 months
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I 100% imagine College!OC joking about Mingyu lisp and accidentally letting slip that she finds it adorable
stop......... wait i have been staring at this request for days now and finally got something lkfjsd
College!Mingyu Drabble - glasses and lisps
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no bc college!mingyu as someone who lives down the hall from your dorm and you always run into him doing something questionable
College!Mingyu Masterlist
He was beginning to grow on her.
Maybe it was because of her father and brother's constant need to bring him up in any conversation. Or maybe it was the fact that he only lived a few doors down from her – their run ins turning into her or Mingyu hanging out in each other's dorms.
She hated to admit it, but she considered him as a friend and enjoyed his company – despite his constant need to annoy and bother her.
Mid-terms had rolled around and after the countless of text messages he had sent her, asking to accompany him to the library to study, she had finally agreed. Y/n may have considered Mingyu as more than an aquaintance, but the thought of doing something school related with the chaotic puppy-like boy gave her headaches.
If her brother didn't mention how smart Mingyu was, she probably wouldn't have agreed – she needed that extra help.
"Nice look, nerd." She snorted, taking a seat across from him.
Mingyu looked up from his notebook, sticking his tongue out at the girl. "I ran out of contacts."
Tilting her head, she took in his new look. "Eh, it kinda suits you." She shrugged, unpacking her belongings.
"Really?" He smiled, leaning forward.
"Alright, don't get too crazy now." She held her hand up.
"You like me in glasses, Y/n?" Mingyu continued to tease.
"You like me in glasses." She mocked, making sure to emphasize his pronunciation of his 's'.
The smile on his face fell, leaning back on his chair. "So mean."
"So mean." She did it again.
Mingyu jokingly glared at her, raising his hand up to showcase his middle finger – earning a laugh from the girl.
In all honesty, he didn't care how much she teased him. He lived for it, looking forward to all her snide remarks. She could call him stupid ugly troll and it would send his heart swooning.
"I'm kidding. It's adorable." She mumbled, flipping through her book.
"Adorable?"
Snapping her head up, y/n shook her head quickly. "No, no– shut up. Don't even–"
"You think I'm adorable?" His smile wide, his fangs in full display.
"Your lisp. Not you."
"No, you think I'm adorable." Mingyu giggled, reaching over to pinch the tip of her nose. "You're adorable too."
"Get your hand off–" She pushed his hand away from her face, only for him to move onto pinching her cheek. "I'm going to kill you."
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@thegirlwhoimagined @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @f4iryjjosh @akeminy @yonabutnotyuna @tacosandbitch @vanillacheol @aaniag @bettybotterboughtabitofbutter @xbaekcult @alwaysalmostthere @ashkuuuu @morkswatermelonnnn @isabellah29 @lottogyu @bubbly-moon @lllucere @bo-fairykim
(for some reason it's not allowing me to tag some who wanted to be added to the perm tag list ... cries... pls check ur settings so i can for future posts)
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