#cuz like. that’s her family her kits kits the one thing she’s ever cared about was her kits so like watching tiger try and kill them ofc

[ryderdire]

I don’t know as much as i should about warriors to make this post but . I really like the idea of an au where one of mapleshades kits survives and become firestars grandparent or smth because imagine her finding out about leafpool and seeing ashfur go to starclan would she protect her great grandkids would she even know. so many thoughts

[raddireksstuff]

No one ever expects anything from Airk

First thing we need to establish here is that Kit’s love language is Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch while Airk’s is Quality Time and Acts of Service. you can have a different opinion, but just so you know, I am right. 

Airk loved Madmartigan in a completely different way that Kit does. And in turn he hates Mads leaving in a completely different way that Kit does as well. 

Kit looked up to Madmartigan as the the way he was in the first half of the original movie. The rogue, the adventurer, the brave warrior, the knight who fought in the Battle of Nockmar. THAT’S who Kit idolized.

AIRK, looked up to Madmartigan the King of Tir Asleen. He looked up to the man who supported the newly established Queen Sorsha rebuild a city that had been frozen in time. literally. Airk watched this man respect, support, ground and LOVE his wife in every which way possible. watched him stand up for her when people are being too critical of her, support her decisions and make her see reason when she was being stubborn, and generally just be there for her. He is their rock, their pillar, the one who’s always there supporting and loving and caring! And sure, Mads told them stories about how he was in hey days of being an adventurer, and Airk liked them. He LOVES hearing about them but he liked the Madmartigan that he is experiencing, better. He looked to his father as the way he is right then at that moment. The man that he sees his father be everyday, is who Airk wanted to become when he grew up. Airk wanted to just like his father as he was when he was raising them.

So when Mads left and never came back, not only did Airk see how much it affected Kit but he also saw how it affected his mother because he didn’t just leave his kids behind he left his wife too! And broke it Airk’s image of him as the pillar of their family. 

He. Left. It didn’t matter WHY he did, he just did and he never came back. And THAT was unforgivable for Airk. Kit is a bit more selfish, she felt like he left HER specifically. Airk hated how he abandoned his family. Hated how him leaving hurt Sorsha and Kit so badly, in different ways sure, but made both of them retreat into themselves. 

So what did Airk do? He promised to himself that he’ll be better than his father. 

“... Just be the best brother, and husband, and father, and son that I can possibly be.” 

If his dad is going to abandon them and not do all those things that Airk thought was the best things he ever, then he’ll do it himself. He will take over where he thinks his father failed and do it BETTER. He will be the best son that his mother could ever possibly want. He will be the best brother that Kit could ever possibly need. He will be the best support for his family to prove to himself and his father that they never needed Madmartigan. He will become the pillar that his father couldn’t be.

And by the mother’s did he do his best. Airk did his best in EVERYTHING that Sorsha asked of him. Be there for Kit when the abandonment issues become a little too much. Tried his best to be the bridge between his mother and sister because holy fucking shit are they more similar than they would ever want to admit and by the mother’s Airk is the only one who was doing all the listening during their shouting matches. Airk has spent so long doing his best to fill that gap that their father left. 

The sad thing is that they never notice his efforts. and when they do, they disregard it completely. 

When he said “Kit, I’m not him.” when Kit said that he’s just like their father, that hurt him way more than he let on cuz they never notice his efforts. His mother never notices how hard he tries. How much he wants to be that stable presence for her. Everything he does is never enough, never what they need. And yet he still tries again and again cuz even though they never notice he still loves them even though no matter how hard he tries, he will always be the second fiddle. if not to Madmartigan, then to Kit. 

He’s frustrated and disappointed and angry. angry at himself for not being good enough, at his father for leaving, at his mother for always dismissing him, at his sister for comparing him to their dad. 

He needs somewhere to let out this frustration but unlike Kit, sword fighting does not sound like a good stress relief for him. so what does he do? he looks for any kind of stress relief in every corner of their kingdom. and he found it. by sleeping around. Because man does it feel good to be wanted. If not by his mother or sister, then by someone. anybody who was willing to give. to give to him instead of him giving. to be appreciated even just for a little bit. to be depended on by someone. anyone. after all... no one ever expects anything from him.

[sotogalmo]

1:55

So many thoughts about Web (a new sonic fankid; he's tails and cream's adopted child— he/she/they. Based on Mob from MP100),,,,

Very silly thing; when he meets other kids (mainly other sonic kids), he just. I dunno. He would so look up to them,, @head---ache 's Emmie? Web looks up to her, wants to be outspoken and confident, like her. & Other fankids- Web is a silent supporter of them.

Web trains with Knuckles. Sometimes it's confusing to him tho, since he sometimes sees Knuckles as a brother or a father. But he does know that he sees Knuckles as family (maybe it's more fitting to call him an uncle, but Web doesn't use Uncle much)

Web learns a lot of stuff from his parents tho! They're Not really absent in his life, he just wants to train to take care of his powers well to protect those he loves; which he goes to Knuckles too (yeah Sonic and Shadow might've been good ones too, but Knuckles has that- unwavering loyalty. He's strong too! Sonic is speed, while Shadow is unknown(mainly speed too?). Knuckles is the muscle of the group, and Web wants to be strong in that way too!)

He looks. Quite normal, all to say. He's like- those normal kids and then you see their family and they are related to one of the greatest heroes ever. He's not strange looking or as recognizable.

So- he's a John doe in a sea of bright important people

He might seem like he doesn't emote much, due to his quite nature (and kinda due to his eyes?? They are like cartoon eyes. The pie eyes yk?? Famous old Mickey mouse, eyes. Steam boat Willie eyes) but he is very expressive!!

He and Kit would be. Best of friends ever. (Honestly was thinking of making him a fennec fox, but I went with a dog cuz I can. Normal and plain pet, he's a John doe in a sea of bright important people, etc etc. but I went with a dog that has big ears, to kinda mimic kit's ears! I like the fact that Kit can use them to cover himself,,,, I rlly like that. So yeah)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 306: the beginning of the WHAT

Previously on BnHA: Nana and the Gang were all, “hey Deku, we can read your thoughts and feelings so we should already know the answer to this, but for some reason we want to quiz you on whether or not you’d be down to kill Shigaraki Tomura.” Deku was all, “um okay, well tbh, probably not seeing as Saving People has been my entire thing since literally the start of the series.” The Vestiges were all, “yes that makes perfect sense and again we already knew that, but well, good for you buddy and I’m glad we had this talk. Anyway I guess we should ask these two cryptic fuckers in the corner to finally turn around now before we run out of -- ” and then the chapter ended. Because OF COURSE IT DID.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT, WOULDN’T IT BE SO MUCH BETTER IF I GAVE YOU A CONFUSING CHAPTER WHERE EVERYONE FINALLY LEARNS ABOUT OFA, AND GOES BACK TO THE DORMS, AND THEN THE CHAPTER ENDS WITH DEPRESSED NOMAD DEKU STANDING ON A PRECIPICE WITH GRAN TORINO’S TATTERED CAPE FLOWING IN THE WIND.” Everyone is all, “???????????” Horikoshi is all, “also the parents are moving to the U.A. campus, and Jeanist’s neck is two and a half feet long, for everyone that was wondering.” Everyone is all, “WHERE ARE KACCHAN AND TODOROKI AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHO ARE THE SECOND AND THIRD USERS”, and Horikoshi is all, “:)” and fades away into nothingness like the fucking fae he is. Like a fucking imp who’s kept his end of the cursed bargain. What, the, fuck.

okay guys, so after the longest Thursday of my fucking life, during which I was secretly hoping that my spoiler containment net would be somehow be breached, inadvertently exposing me to theta spoiler radiation, so that I could be all “oh no... spoilers... there’s nothing I can do... I have no choice but to look” (which sadly did not happen), it is finally Friday and the chapter is finally out. so I’ve got my clown kit at the ready and other self-deprecating memes on standby, and I’m ready to go. and I should note that I’m also ready for Horikoshi to pull some absolute bullshit and be like, “oh you know what, we haven’t checked in with Rat Principal in a while have we” and spend the entire chapter on nonsense like that. I’M READY FOR FUCKING ANYTHING so bring it

(ETA: it would be nice if this man wouldn’t call my bluff every now and again.)

oh, right, we were due a color page! wow look at this

isn’t this supposed to be the future?? what’s with all of these staticky CRT TVs

anyway, so! is this the first time we’ve seen Tomura’s stylish finger prosthetic glove thingy in color?? because I didn’t expect it to be red. also, at some point you just have to give in and change your pants into cutoffs or something, Tomura. start a new trend of stylish villain capris

meanwhile Deku is dressed like he’s going on a journey into the desert to find a mystical oasis. actually this cape looks a lot like Gran Torino’s. I have to go back and see if Gran’s is all raggedy like this

(ETA: it wasn’t before but APPARENTLY IT IS NOW. I also forgot that Horikoshi had showed it sitting on a side table in the hospital a few chapters ago.)

lastly, AFO looks like someone’s thumb after they’ve been washing dishes for twenty minutes. you are just the ugliest dude in history, and as always, fuck you

HAHAHA SOB I KNEW IT

oh, Twowy McTwoface is finally starting to turn around? better CUT BACK TO DEKU’S HOSPITAL ROOM THEN. wouldn’t want to accidentally ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS or SOLVE ANY MYSTERIES, god forbid

well, whatever. whatever!! anyway so now someone’s knocking at the door. I say “someone” but we all know it’s Hawks

yep

they were actually standing outside the door for a while hoping they’d overhear another juicy plot conversation, but no such luck this time

lmaooo Jeanist wtf

acting all embarrassed, but you’re really just as curious as Hawks is. making him do all the dirty work for you huh

ARE YOU SERIOUS THIS IS AN INJUSTICE

so like two seconds after Katsuki gets dragged away you open the door for the rest of them!! well, fine!! I really want it to be a more private/personal moment between the two of them anyway so let the other kids check in on Deku first then

and in the meantime, time to see Hawks put the thumbscrews to All Might’s resolve lol

I wonder how much of it Hawks has already put together in the last five minutes. One for All is something connected to All for One that Tomura seems to want. Tomura was apparently targeting Deku. that’s more than enough to make a few deductions right there. I wonder how much Hawks knows about Deku’s quirk. he did watch the sports festival, and he ran into the kids interning under Endeavor that one time

okay well maybe he hasn’t put the rest of it together just yet, but Hawks is making a pretty reasonable pitch here to All Might

also this is a pretty spectacular view. is this a hospital or a hotel??

AHLKJLKJLKJ ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO TELL THEM

OH MY GOD HE IS?!?!

JUST LIKE WE ALL EXPECTED, THE NEXT TWO PEOPLE TO LEARN THE TRUTH ABOUT OFA ARE GOING TO BE HAWKS, AND BEST FUCKING JEANIST

-- LFKLKKLDK ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. ARE YOU --

( •̀_•́ )

[sitting cross-legged on the ground pulling up little clumps of grass and letting them fall from my fingers one by one] yeah. sure. okay. fine. sure

-- OKAY, NO. NUH-UH. NO

everybody better hold tight cuz I’m about to pick up this whole chapter and yeet it into the ocean like a fucking frisbee lol

HORIKOSHI I DON’T CARE ABOUT THESE PEOPLE SITTING HERE WATCHING TV WTF

-- OH

well okay then. proceed. though lord help me if they’re about to reveal the secret of OFA to the whole fucking world skdkj

oh snap

well, there it is. pretty much what I expected, but it’s good to actually get to see this moment with him taking responsibility

though at the same time, thank you Horikoshi for not forcing us to sit through the rest of that

their fucking faces omg. okay but seriously, what nation doesn’t secretly love a good scandal

the Endeavor Pamphlets, part two. thank you for giving the country something to opine about on twitter in these trying times, Enji

so now they’re asking about Hawks and Jeanist but I cannot even focus on anything all of a sudden because what?!

is Jeanist even a real actual human being you guys?! are we sure he’s not three kids sitting on each other’s shoulders?? are you related to that one guy with the really long neck from the Jedi Council?? are you Orochimaru, bro??

so now Hawks is apologizing for the murder of Twice, and for hiding the connection with his dad

the fact that he has to give this serious formal apology and beg forgiveness for the shameful crime of Having An Abusive Father is really something else, though. just. it’s realistic, but I still hate it

moving on now to the one thing he actually does owe the public an explanation for

not to go all “Hawks did nothing wrong” on you guys yet again, but seriously. 100% facts. fandom can (and no doubt will) debate this until the end of time, but if Twice had gotten away they wouldn’t be having this press conference right now because there wouldn’t be any heroes left to give one. anyways though, I’ve already said more than enough about that in previous posts

so now some severe-looking lady with the weirdest fingers I’ve ever seen is saying that her mother was injured during Machia’s rampage

and she’s basically all “a fuck lot of good ‘I’m sorry’ does us all about now.” true true

wow she’s really getting fired up

and now Enji is basically saying that he understands that an apology isn’t enough, and what they really need now are solutions. okay, well! SO THEN WHAT IS THE PLAN THEN

hmmfsdgh

this eloquent PEZ dispenser makes a good point you guys

wait, hold up

CERTAIN citizens?? um excuse me, what??

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit

holy shit. well, this will go over well

okay! so this tells me a number of things, though

basically the minute that Hawks learned about One for All, he realized that anyone connected to Deku (e.g. Inko) would be a target for AFO. AFO wants OFA, meaning AFO wants Deku, and one of the easiest ways to get to Deku would be to target his family

Hawks therefore realized that Inko needed to be placed into protective custody

but the fact that ALL of the hero course students’ families (and is it only the U.A. hero course, or all of the hero course students across the country?) are being given protection tells me that Hawks and co. don’t want to single Deku out as being important. so then it looks like they’re not going to tell everyone about OFA (or at least not the public. which, good). so rather than drawing suspicion by saying “we’ve got to protect everyone connected with this one kid”, they’re making it seem like all the U.A. kids’ families are getting this treatment

but since the heroes are now spread so thin, they can’t just send a protective detail to each and every family, so they’re bringing all of the families to the same place instead to better keep an eye on them

so that’s all well and good, and a very smart move. except that idk how all of this is going to go over with the general public, all of whom are probably feeling unsafe at the moment, and who will probably see this as preferential treatment -- basically just the heroes looking after their own and leaving everyone else to fend for themselves

(ETA: okay so @hanashimas​’ translation clarifies that U.A. is offering their services as an evacuation shelter for everyone who wants it, not just the families of the U.A. students. that’s much more appropriate so I withdraw my previous “wtf” reaction lol.)

anyway though here’s Mitsuki and Inko

can we take this as confirmation that the two of them really are friends? that’s one piece of fanon that I’ve always hoped was true, so I’m gonna go ahead and say it’s confirmed

(ETA: also this means that Hagakure’s parents (or maybe “parents” in quotation marks) will supposedly be moving in as well. sure am curious as to how that’s going to go.)

now someone in the press crowd is asking whether U.A. can provide adequate security, which is honestly the LAST thing I expected these people would be outraged about lol. shows what I know I guess

(ETA: again though, this makes sense if the “certain civilians” thing was just a translation error.)

LMAO DAMMIT ENJI

YOU CAN’T JUST ALWAYS PULL THE “JUST WATCH ME” TRICK AND EXPECT IT TO SHUT DOWN THE CONVERSATION EVERY DAMN TIME YOU ASSHOLE

-- OH MY GOD RED ALERT

TIME TO ANALYZE THIS BECAUSE OMG

WASH CAN’T BELIEVE HIS FAMILY GROUP CHAT IS STILL SENDING HIM FUCKING MEMES AT A TIME LIKE THIS. HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK IF THE DABI DANCE IS TRENDING ON TIKTOK, MOM!!

FOR A MINUTE I THOUGHT MT. LADY WAS HOLDING MIDNIGHT’S TORN-UP MASK, AND BY THE TIME I REALIZED THAT’S ACTUALLY HER MASK AND NOT MIDNIGHT’S, I HAD ALREADY CONSTRUCTED AN ELABORATE HEADCANON IN WHICH MT. LADY AND MIDNIGHT WERE SECRETLY DATING BUT HADN’T COME OUT TO ANYONE YET, AND THEN TRAGEDY STRUCK, AND NOW MT. LADY IS GETTING READY TO SET OUT TO SEEK VENGEANCE. AND WELL, NOW THAT THIS HEADCANON EXISTS IN THE WORLD, I’M NOT SURE IF I’M READY TO GET RID OF IT

MIRKO HAS GOTTEN HERSELF A PROSTHETIC (ROBOT??!) ARM, NOTHING ELSE THAT’S HAPPENING IN THIS CHAPTER IS EVEN SLIGHTLY IMPORTANT!!! HELLO!!!!!

AIZAWA WITH THE EYEPATCH GOOD LORD. THE WORLD ISN’T READY. HE LOOKS LIKE HE HASN’T SLEPT IN NINETY-EIGHT YEARS, BUT SOMEHOW HE MAKES IT INTO THE HOTTEST THING EVER AS PER USUAL

WHO THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKING GUY. ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW HIM? IS THIS KAMUI?? WAS THAT THING WHICH I ALWAYS ASSUMED WAS HIS HAIR ACTUALLY A HELMET OR SOMETHING WHAT

LOL AND MEANWHILE

you tell me, Dabi! weren’t you the one who said that wouldn’t be enough to kill him? what even is your endgame here. I’m starting to worry about the villain brain cell supply you guys. I feel like Compress took most of them with him when he left

OH??

“when asked about One for All, Endeavor fucking lied through his teeth.” well, well, well

SLKDFJLSKGDJLKLKGJL THE DORMS

( ⁰ ⌂ ⁰ )

SLDKJFLKJWLKJLK

WLKDJSLKJFWKELKSDJLKHGLK

HDSMFLKGKL:GDSELK

OCHAKO’S HAND IS SHAKING OH MY GOD

THERE’S YOUR KAMINARI, EVERYONE!!

RHA’S SCANLATION TEAM REALLY THREW DEKU’S HANDWRITING UNDER THE BUS HERE HUH

HE TOLD EVERYONE!?

WHY THE FUCK IS HE WRITING IT AS A LETTER

(ETA: 9. also if he really wrote every kid in his class then that means the U.A. traitor -- or Hagakure as we like to call her around these parts -- also knows about OFA, and knows that Deku has run the fuck off and isn’t at U.A. anymore. so that’s just great!)

OH HELL NO

the hell does that mean, you must leave. leave to go where. son you are not up and leaving to go power up and lead us all into a timeskip. and I swear to GOD, if you left Kacchan too...!!

MY GOD I CAN’T PROPERLY ABSORB ALL OF THESE OCHAKO FEELS RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I’M TOO TERRIFIED TO SCROLL TO THE LAST FUCKING PAGE, FUCK

I JUST GOTTA DO IT. I JUST GOTTA SUCK IT UP AND DO IT. FUCK

FUCK

WHAT. THE. FUCK

y’all I’m not even gonna waste your time with more keysmashing, JUST ASSUME THAT I AM DOING IT NONSTOP, FOREVER. and let’s just jump RIGHT IN HERE

okay so here I thought that All Might and co. had taken him away somewhere to train, but that is CLEARLY not what’s going on here. this kid is standing here in his Apocalypse Aesthetic hero costume which has CLEARLY seen better days, with Gran Torino’s cloak (GUESS THAT EXPLAINS THAT, THEN?? SO DID GRAN FUCKING DIE EXCUSE ME WTF), and a fucking backpack. this little green idiot has RUN AWAY FROM HOME. this is the absolute LAST THING ON EARTH I ever expected to happen so PARDON ME WHILE I SCREAM CONFUSEDLY INTO THE VOID

he does not look okay. you guys he doesn’t look okay at ALL. he has NEVER looked like this. this isn’t just a “I’m sad because I’m leaving all my friends behind” kind of look on his face, or even just a “Gran Torino died maybe and I’m still having emotions over it” look. this is an EXHAUSTED, dead look in his eyes. something terrible has happened

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARMS DEKU. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING DOWN WITH YOUR ARMS GODDAMMIT

love how this random building is just straight up collapsing, like that’s just a normal thing that happens every day now. lovely

APRIL MEANS IT’S NOW FULL ON SCHEDULED ALL-MIGHT-DYING-HOURS, BUT LET’S COMPLETELY IGNORE THAT THOUGH BECAUSE FUCK THAT NOISE

“THE SECOND USER? WHO KNOWS? CERTAINLY NOT ME” HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD

“BAKUGOU? NEVER HEARD OF HIM!” HORIKOSHI PLEASE

WHERE. IS. KACCHAN

did he go with Deku?? did he get a chance to talk to him before he left?? did he get his own private letter which he read and then promptly blew up in a fit of panicked rage?? is he going to go after him?? DOES HORIKOSHI KNOW WHAT HE’S DOING TO ME RIGHT NOW?? OF COURSE HE DOES, DON’T BOTHER ANSWERING THAT

omg. though actually the fact that we’ve already jumped a few weeks forward makes me hopeful that there won’t actually be another timeskip, or at least not much of one. I’m sure that’ll be the big debate of the week, but I don’t think we can jump too far forward here. for starters because of that All Might prophecy I mentioned. and also because TomurAFO isn’t just going to wait around for months. and also because I’m 100% sure that Deku’s running-away backpack is just filled ENTIRELY WITH NOTEBOOKS and this asshole cannot possibly survive more than 3 days on his own. UNLESS SOMEONE COMES TO HELP HIM THAT IS. OR SOMEONES, EVEN. OMG. omg omg omg. fuck this chapter lmao

[iggykoopa666]

oh yeah by yhe way i eont think i ever talked abojt this here but this little ASS HOLE ruined his dog park privileges within 30 minutes of ever going to one my friend was over and he met her dog and was totally fine and they got along wnd then we took him to the dog park and was playing with yhe other dogs (also all various terriers) and he was totally fine UNTIL he saw a fucking pomeranian and i guess in his brain went "rabbit" cuz he locked the fuck onto that things ear and would not fucking let go and its a good thing my friend was there cuz she was able to get him to unlock his jaw. ans then we got him off of her and then he fucking wriggled oht and bit it AGAIAN this time on the tail. completely ruthless and insane complete instinct dumb fucker. and the lady (elderly) that the pom (also elderly) belonged to tried to get between them and he bit her arm and she was bleeding a lot. and then she pulled out a huge knife and went "im going to kill that fucking dog" and we uh just left . and my friend had to do damage control for a little bit and explained that holy fuck we did not expect that from him he has never been like that before we never would have broight him if we thought he would do that and they calmed down some and thankfully another person there had a first aid kit. the pom was fine btw it was shaken up but it didnt have any injuries. and i know jack russels have a prey drive but i didnt know he had a problem with it i mean like i said he met my friends dog and the other dogs at the park and was fine it was just the fuckjng. pomeranian that made his brain go crazy. and um so yeah i can never return to that dog park bc that lady is literallu there all the time i dont want to meet her again i dont think she would press charges bc she um didnt seem to have any money and also nobody like. saw my car or my license plate or anything im not worried about that but yeah we may be rehomjng him because my dad is worried about him being a liability . but also i knew from the firdt moment he was brought home that he wasnt yhe right dog for our family i told my dad so many times do not get a fucking jack russel you only want one because you think the neighbors dog is cute you do not have the patience to train or the energy to keep up with a jack russel youre 60 years old and work a fulltime job but then he went and got one anyway and then he even named it the stupidest dumbest shit ever so yeah if he does go i will be sad because i do like him but he really does need to be with someone who has more energy to take care of him he needs to like be a farm dog or be with someone who goes hiking or something . anyways im so mad cuz i cant take toby back there either and thats the only dog park around here. fuck this guy

picture from directly after the incident . completely unfazed by what had happened. this man has tasted human blood.

[dachi-chan25]

Haven't done this in a while but I had the time so why not?

1.- Pizza Girl by Kyoung Jean Frazier

🌟🌟🌟🌟

I really did like it, reminded me a lot of "Convinience store woman". Like clearly our protagonist needed thrapy ASAP to help her deal with her dad's death, her pregnancy, her attraction to women and hell just for existing as an Asian woman in the USA, but I liked how messy and obsesive she was and how the author allowed her to be fucked up and take bad decisions, I love to see female characters simply exist, it's also a pretty short read so I definitely recommend it.

2.-The Authentics by Abdi Nazemian

🌟🌟🌟🌟

Daría is a persian teen who is really involved in her cultural background and feels that the most important thing one can be is authentic, so that's the name she and her friends take for their clique. But everything comes crashing down on her when she discovers she is adopted, and soon follows an identity crisis. I loved it so much, it felt pretty realistic, like Daría could be self absorbed and unlikeable at times, but who wasn't as a teen? And we get such beautiful heartwarming moments between Daría and her family and friends. Totally recommend it.

3.- The Mall by Megan McCafferty

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Cassie has her life completely mapped out but nothing goes quite as planned, first she gets mononucleosis and after she gets better gets dumped and fired almost simultaneously. Determined not to let it get the best of her, Cassie gets a brand new job, reconnects with an old friend and even finds a hidden treasure. This one is so much fun, all the 90s references and the growth Cassie goes through is amazing, honeslty i would love to see this as a Netflix movie.

4.- Luster by Raven Leilani

🌟🌟🌟🌟

This book was hard, Edie is a very raw character, at first she seems flippant even when describing disturbing facts about her past or details about her relationship with a much older man she seems to be talking about something that happened to someone else all this to cope dealing with her solitude, her trauma, her self hate. And gosh it was so intresting to see her interact with Rebecca and Akila, especially Akila as Edie finds kinship in this young girl not only cuz they are both black but because they are both lost and afraid.

5.- Lakewood by Megan Giddings

🌟🌟🌟

Lena decides to participate on a financially compensated medical experiment so her mom can get proper medical care and to lessen their debts after her Grandmother's death.

So I had many mixed feelings about this, on one hand I liked that we are adressing how sistematical racism has permited experiments on black people with no consequences at all and how it has been happening for decades, but there were certain parts of the book that I couldn't enjoy as much because they were very trippy like I get we are on Lena's mind as things are becoming muddled up because of the medications and all those mind games and the words they have her memorize and repeat but all of it took me a bit away from the story. Still I do recommend it just be aware there is quite a bit of body horror in this so if you are sqeamish better skip it.

6.-The Voting Booth - Brandy Colbert

🌟🌟🌟🌟

Marva and Duke meet on election day as she helps him find the precint he is registered on.

This is very enjoyable, the story is very straightforward, and it insists on our right and responsability to vote even if we feel our vote alone can't possibly change all the injustice we see in the world. And also the romance was cute and developed slowly as Marva and Duke are just knowing each other. Really cute and quick read.

7.- Such a fun age - Kiley Reid

🌟🌟🌟🌟

Emira works as a babysitter for the Chamberleins' . She loves her little charge Briar, although she feels preassured to seek a 'real job' by her friends and by her own economic troubles. Emira soon finds herself in the middle of a tug of war between her boss Alix who tries to befriend her, and Kelley the guy she is dating.

So much drama. This is a great example of what performative activism looks like, first Alix is completely nuts, from her obsession to be seen as this wonderful understanding girl boss activist and the down right creepy sense of entitlement to Emira's friendship and intimacy. Like it doesn't surprise me she chose to victimize herself instead of recognizing it had all been a misunderstanding. And even then she still wants to seem atractive to the man she feels victimized by. Girl no.

Kelley is the ultimate fake woke ally. Dude Robbie was wrong period, he had no business inviting people over to someone else's house no matter the color of his skin. You don't get to talk over Emira on matters of what a person of color should do or feel on certain situations. That said it was so funny when he and Alix called each other out for their fetishization of people of color and yet none of them actually gave a damn about what Emira thought/felt/percieved. They just wanted her stamp of approval so they could pat themselves in the back for being such good allies.

8.- The Life and (Medieval) times of Kit Sweetly by Jamie Pacton

🌟🌟

Kit is working as a serving wench at the Castle, medieval themed restaurant run by her uncle, though she really wants to be a Knight, not only cuz the better pay would help around the house but because she really admires Joan of Arc, problem is the Castle management doesn't allow for anyone who is not a cis male to be a knight. Kit is set on changing that.

Ok so I feel a bit lukewarm toward this. Kit in my opinion doesn't get much growth, it seems she just can do whatever and her friends have to be ok w it, her romance w her friend feels pulled out of nowhere like Jett at one point tells her he is not intrested in dating her and then he is ???, those GoT references killed me, I get it I watched the show and sometimes even enjoyed it but it's not representative of anything medieval and Kit was always talking about how much she liked the actual history of the medieval times so...

Also as much as this book was about feminism and how we should fight for equal job oportunities, it feels as though Kit only cared about medieval woman who fought physically and not on the badass medieval woman, like idk it feels as a rejection of tradicional feminity like even the girl playing the Princess is a jerk. But I did like some parts, like her decision to confront her asshole dad to help her mom and the girls training together.

9.-Cien años de soledad de Gabriel Garcia Marquez

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

En Macondo, una población Colombiana a un lado del río, vemos como una de sus familias fundadoras crece, se expande y cambia a través de cien años.

Me encanto, hace mucho tiempo que no leía una novela de realismo mágico que me provocará tantos sentimientos. Creo que todos los personajes reflejan aspectos de la humanidad tan diversos y complejos que sería inútil tratar de enlistarlos todos.

Ultimadamente siento que lo que condenó a la familia Buendia a cumplir las profecías de Melquiades fue sus propia naturaleza que ellos nunca tuvieron intención de pelear, siempre sucumbian a las locuras o pasiones que los inundarán sin mesura alguna o consideración por las consecuencias. Y creo que aún así lo prefiero pues es lo que hace a cada personaje por confuso que a veces llegue a ser la repetición de nombres (que para mi es el simbolismo de una naturaleza y destino continuos) único e intrigante. En verdad espero que se den la oportunidad de leer este libro por lo menos una vez en sus vidas.

10.-The Monsters of music by Rebecca F. Kenney

🌟🌟🌟

This is a gender-swaped modern retelling of the Phantom of the Opera.

It was creative to make Mel, our Phantom, a true magical creature, and the singing contest was also cool. Like don't get me wrong I did have fun reading this but it also felt pretty unpolished like most characters were teens on the contest and that kinda made me roll my eyes a bit, like unless it's the Voice Kids age ranges are quite ample on this kind of shows, also kinda clumsy the addition of the magical elements with the modern setting, Kiyo didn't make much of an impression with me even when Christine is my fave on the original book. Still if you are a Phan like me you might wanna check this one out.

11.- Anna K by Jenny Lee

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

This is a modern americanized ya retelling of Anna Karenina.

Not gonna lie this made me cry so much at the end. I really liked Anna and Vronski together so much, and I don't like the love at first sight trope, but here it felt so inevitable. Anna was so self contained until she met him and could truly explore being herself and they really loved each other so much. Also I liked the treatment of the side characters Kimmie and Dustin were well developed and I really enjoyed this one can't wait to get to the second book.

12.- Wonderland by Zoje Stage

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It was ok, but I was actually a bit disappointed cuz I had such high expectations for it. Like for about half the book I was really into the atmospheric vibe the book pulls you into, but as we get the reveal it started to go down hill for me, and the ending left me feeling meh. But maybe it was just not my cup of tea.

13.-Home Before Dark by Riley Sager

🌟🌟🌟🌟

This book is so well crafted!!! I love how it goes back and forth between past and present , first it feels as if history is repeating itself, then as both narratives unfold we start to question and discovering things and the twist at the end was chillin and masterful, I truly and wholeheartedly recommend it.

14.- The Girl with the louding voice by Abi Daré

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Adunni, a teenage girl, flees from her husband to work as a maid in Lagos, though everything she has ever wanted is to study.

This broke my heart, as it reflects how people coming from rural backgrounds get taken advantage of in the City, like similar things happen here in Mexico, but also it made me glad to see Adunni fight and keep her spirit so no one could ever silence her.

15.- The Year of the Witching by Alexis Henderson

🌟🌟🌟🌟

Immanuel does her very best to fit in Bethel, follow the scriptures and the Prophets words, but nothing seems to be enough to erase her mother's sin especially when the Darkwood seems to pull her in. As a plague starts to ravage Bethel, Immanuel has to face her past to save her people.

So frickin' good !!!! This story is great, mainly about the explotation of woman and young girls by people in power (in this case a church), the atmosphere is always tense, Ezra and Immanuel 's relationship is very well developed and one can really see how loyal they are to each other. A great option for horror fans.

[nonbinarysasukes]

Ah congrats on 500!! For the raffle thing, platonic sasuke and parental/mentor kakashi if you’d like??? Cuz that’s one relationship I wish was actually developed in canon but 🤷‍♀️

I’D LOVE THAT HECCCCC!! Kakashi and Sasuke would be the saltiest duo and so cute as a mentor-student bond. (Of course nothing parallels Tsunade and Sakura. But this comes close.)

*peacefully ignores the fact that we’ve now crossed 700 and I’m lazy and finally gets around to writing this*

–

It started like this, so of course it had to end badly.

The sky had been blue and the birds had been chirping. Sasuke had woken up early, the crisp morning air filling his nostrils. He’d headed out to the garden to practice some kata, and had had a pleasant surprise when he noticed his tomato plant had finally borne fruit. After a healthy and fulfilling breakfast of tomatoes, fruit salad he’d made the night before and a bit of rice because one should always get your carbohydrates, he’d set out to the usual waiting place. Even Naruto’s idiocy couldn’t bother him; he felt tranquil. Like he hadn’t in a very long while.

Kakashi arrived late, as usual. They sparred, Sasuke versus Sakura first. Sakura seemed to have given up on her crush; what a relief. It was a bit of a challenge when Sakura was actually trying and not struck by his looks, but Sasuke won easily. Sakura picked herself up and then rattled off all her mistakes, and even Sasuke was surprised by her analytical skills.

Then it was Sakura against Naruto. That fight was quick; Sakura swept Naruto’s legs out from under him with a stick she grabbed from behind her. She bound him with a jutsu within seconds and smiled proudly. There was some pointing out of where both needed to improve and for once, Naruto drank it in with a vivid vigour.

And then it was Naruto and Sasuke against each other. Of course, that wasn’t about to end well. Because when did anything involving those two ever end well?

The beginning of the fight was actually not too bad. Naruto seemed to have taken Kakashi’s advice and covered his weak points, strengthening his stance. Sasuke had unleashed a few small fire jutsu, enough to singe Naruto’s clothes. He’d teased Naruto a bit - “what is it, usuratonkachi? Are we tired already?” and the blond had fought back with his usual angry retorts. Sasuke had just teased him more and danced out of reach, waiting for Naruto to get angry enough so he could strike freely.

“Scared?“ he had taunted. “Of course; you were always hiding behind someone. Never learned how to stand on his own two feet!”

It had been out of line, and he’d been about to apologise when he realised what he’d said. 

But what Naruto said next was even more unforgivable.

“Your parents sure did a fine job of raising such an asshole!”

Sasuke froze completely.

Your parents did a fine job of raising such an asshole!

Then something started to burn in his chest, acidic and painful. 

He didn’t stop to think before he pinned Naruto to the ground, fire crackling at his fingers already. Naruto choked under his grasp, squirming and struggling. 

“WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW?!“ Sasuke roared. “HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT MY PARENTS?!” 

“I - I - ” Naruto sputtered helplessly. 

Sasuke couldn’t stand to look at his face anymore. 

He jumped up and ran off into the forest, ignoring Kakashi and Naruto’s mingled cries of, “Sasuke!”

–

That’s how he ended up here. Punching a tree till his hands were bloody and full of splinters.

The pain did nothing to stop the tears spilling over from his eyes like water.

“Why?” he whispered to himself brokenly. He didn’t even know what he was asking. 

Why had Naruto said that? Why had his parents raised him so horribly? Why was he crying over it? Why was he so pathetic?

Why was his family dead?

He didn’t know. He didn’t know he didn’t know he didn’t know -

Sasuke screamed and punched the tree again.

“Sasuke,” came a calm voice from behind him. He started, spinning around with five knives at the ready.

It was Kakashi, hands held up in a conciliatory gesture.

Sasuke lowered his knives but still stared suspiciously up at Kakashi. He must look a sight, he thought - hair full of leaves and twigs, eyes red and blotchy, face pink from crying and screaming. 

“I’m not here to say what Naruto did was okay.” Kakashi told him. “And your reaction was only to be expected.”

Sasuke continued to watch his teacher, not responding. He didn’t feel like talking right now.

“You were hurt.” the silver-haired man continued. “And that’s okay, it’s natural to feel hurt.” He glanced at Sasuke’s bloodied knuckles. “You’re literally hurt, too. Give me your hands.”

Sasuke complied reluctantly on seeing the look in Kakashi’s eyes. The man was serious, no joking around. And you weren’t stubborn with Kakashi Hatake when he was being serious.

Kakashi removed the splinters with a quick suction jutsu and dabbed antiseptic from his kit on Sasuke’s raw knuckles. He placed his own fingers on Sasuke’s hands, pressing chakra gently into the wounds to heal them. 

“You know,” he started softly, “it’s all right to let it out once in a while. You aren’t pathetic for it.”

“How do you even know I was thinking that?” Sasuke asked, more curious than defensive.

Kakashi shrugged. “It’s the natural conclusion.”

He pulled back and sat down under the tree Sasuke’d been trying to destroy. 

“Come, sit down.” he called, patting the ground next to him.

Sasuke eyed the leaf-covered forest floor with a suspicious gaze.

Kakashi laughed. “It doesn’t bite. I promise.”

Sasuke eyed it some more. Then he sat down gingerly, ready to spring away at a moment’s notice.

He was startled by a warm arm pulling him into an equally warm body.

“Why are you doing this?” Sasuke couldn’t help but mumble into Kakashi’s chest.

“Because you’re my student, and it’s my job to take care of you.” Kakashi replied, ruffling his hair.

Sasuke wanted to run - but it was so warm - and he was so tired - and Kakashi was holding him like his mother used to - 

The tears bubbled over again and then he was crying like a baby into Kakashi’s chest. Crying for everything he’d lost like he had forced himself not to for so many years. He hadn’t cried then and he wouldn’t cry now, he’d told himself. But he couldn’t help letting everything out in this warm, comforting presence of a person his gut trusted. Kakashi just patted Sasuke gently, mumbling, “It’s okay. It’s okay.” over and over.

And somehow, it did feel a little okay.

Maybe not all right - but okay.

So Sasuke cried himself into an exhausted sleep, and Kakashi held his precious student close until the morning came.

[solangelover]

I Won’t Leave

Solangelo Week 2k19: Day 5 – “Age Regression / Kid Fic” @solangeloweek

A/N: This is my first and probably last kid fic cuz I don’t get children. Also I can’t remember this time well soooo it mostly aligns with canon probably.

 Read on AO3 or FF.Net or Wattpad

Will had lived at camp for some years now. He went home sometimes, but he loved it here at camp. He got to be with his friends! And all his siblings! They taught him all kinds of things, stuff that his old schools never taught. After Apollo claimed him, Will was swept up into the whirlwind that was Cabin 7. People already thought he looked like a mini Apollo, so no one was too surprised. Except Will, of course, who never stopped smiling since the moment the sun symbol appeared over his head. His brothers and sisters whooped and hollered, picking his tiny body up and tossing him in the air as they marched towards their cabin.

Will had never felt so loved and accepted, except by his own mother.

Not long after he settled into the Apollo kid life, Will’s knack for healing became apparent. His innate care for others coupled with his budding powers had his older brother Michael smiling wide with pride. Older campers began calling Will “doctor” just to see him practically glow with joy as he carefully placed band-aids on their cuts.

In Will’s little kid mind, camp was the happiest place on earth. His life outside of camp wasn’t horrible, but the abundance of people, of friends and family, all in one place made his heart swell. Helping in the infirmary and going to classes, Will made sure to get to know everyone at camp.

This included all new, unclaimed demigods that found their way there.

The day that Nico and Bianca di Angelo crash-landed at camp, Will was in the middle of archery class. At this point, he knew he wasn’t going to be the marksmen that some of his siblings were, so really, Will was just enjoying his time in the sun. He blamed his next miss on the commotion coming from the new arrivals.

When everyone rushed over to see what was going on, Will, bless his 11-year old soul, went with one of his siblings to grab a medical kit in case anyone was injured. By the time they reached the crowd, he could hear whispers of two new half-bloods that felt powerful. Will didn’t really know what to make of that, but he did hear that one of them was around his age. He couldn’t wait to meet them!

The crowd dissipated and Will finally got a glimpse of the new kids – the girl was older and talking with a bunch of other girls with bows and arrows, and the boy was the one about his age, talking with Percy Jackson. The boy seemed really excitable and talkative, which made Will even more eager to meet him. But, it would have to wait because Chiron was shooing everyone away to get things sorted out.

It wasn’t until a little later that Will got to talk to the kid.

“Hi!” Will bounded right up to him, bright smile and all. “I’m Will! What’s your name?”

The dark-haired boy turned to him, eyes lighting up on sight. “Hi! My name is Nico. I’m 10.”

“Oh! I’m 11,” Will smiled wide. Then, he noticed the boy, Nico, holding something in his hands. “What’s that?”

Nico gasped with excitement, like he momentarily forgot what he was doing before. “These are my Mythomagic cards!” He shoved them in Will’s face so he could see. “It’s a game! All the characters and monsters are from Greek mythology. Which is real here? Or everywhere, I guess? That’s so cool!”

Will was ecstatic, even if he had never heard of the game before. He nodded enthusiastically anyway. “Yep! It’s all real stuff. My dad is Apollo,” he said with pride.

Nico nodded sagely. “Ah, yeah, that makes sense. I think you kind of look like him. All golden and pretty. I was with him earlier.”

Will deflated a little. “You… you met him?”

“Mhm,” Nico nodded. “I drove his chariot!”

“Oh,” Will looked down and kicked at the grass. “I’ve never met him.”

Nico’s eyes widened in panic that he’d made Will sad. He rushed out, “Well, at least you know who your dad is.” His eyebrows furrowed, as if he wasn’t sure where that came from or if he helped the situation at all.

Will looked back up and met Nico’s eyes. He saw the same sadness and worry he saw in all unclaimed campers’ eyes reflected back at him, the same look he had before he was claimed. He was quick to recover the conversation. “It’s okay! You’re new, and the gods usually don’t claim right away. They’re busy,” he shrugged.

Nico nodded again, but didn’t otherwise respond, a faraway look in his eyes. Will wanted to make everything better, so he blurted out, “Can you teach me?” Nico blinked at Will, clearly confused. “The game. Mythomagic.” Will gestured shyly towards the deck in Nico’s hands.

Will breathed a sigh of relief when he got the reaction he wanted – Nico lit up like he’d discovered buried treasure. “Oh! Yes! Let’s play!” They plopped down right there in the grass, and Nico began chatting up a storm. “Hm, let’s find your dad first! His card looks pretty cool, he’s basically a human sun…” And on their afternoon went.

Will loved his new friend, and his new friend loved camp and the new world he was discovering.

Then, his sister left him.

“It’s not fair!” Nico stomped as he ranted to Will about what was going on. “She just, just left me! Like she doesn’t even care! She joined those hunters that hate boys. They’re gonna make her hate me!” Tears were pooling in his dark brown eyes, but Will wasn’t really sure what to say to make it better.

“You’re her brother – she won’t hate you, Nico.”

“Then why did she leave?” There was desperation in his voice that he tried to cover with anger, but Will heard it loud and clear.

“I… I don’t know.” This was something that he would go to his older brothers for. He had asked the same question about his father, but even then, the only positive response was that he was busy. So many of his siblings resented their father for never visiting them. Will wanted to love his dad, as a kid should, but it was hard to do when he never met the guy.

Nico’s situation was much different from a god. And Will didn’t have an answer. So, he did the next thing he knew to do. Will lunged forward and engulfed Nico in the warmest hug he could muster. Nico was startled for a moment, but he immediately brought his arms up and squeezed tight. It was desperate and fierce, and so very needed. For as long as Nico could remember, which wasn’t much thanks to the Lethe, only his sister ever hugged him like this. Only Bianca knew when Nico needed comfort most. Whether Will was pushing some healing powers out right now or not, Nico felt safe wrapped up in his arms.

“I’m sorry, Nico. But I’m here for you – I won’t leave you.”

Nico smiled a watery smile into Will’s neck, gripping his back a little tighter. “Thanks, Will.”

After a beat, he added, “I won’t leave you either.”

[stormbornspawn]

Winterfell - Season 8, Episode 1 Review

My thoughts on every (I think every? let me know if I missed any) scene from the Season 8 premiere episode.

Arrival - there was nothing wrong with this scene at all. Everything about it was expected. The northerners being apprehensive is exactly what I anticipated. Give it up for Jon and Dany looking regal AF in this scene. Good lord. Arya watching this whole scene play out was really great as a call back to season 1. Love the proud mama look from Dany as her babies fly overhead and scare the living shit out of everyone below. And did you notice her hair is in the shape of a heart? Tyrion and Varys banter is always welcomed and encouraged.

Winterfell courtyard - frosty is the only word that really feels right here. Dany’s trying to make a good impression and doesn’t get pressed when nobody kneels. Jon bent the knee - they should be on their knees, but no worries. She’s gonna overlook that cuz it’s her boo-thang’s family. All in good time. Bran coming up with the - we have no time for this - and dropping the Viserion bomb was way too rushed. This is the first issue I have with this episode. Dany’s dragons are often referred to as her children, yet hearing that one of them has been enslaved is completely glossed over and cut to next scene. This should have been a much bigger deal. Not just for Dany, but for everyone. Jon should have needed to take her somewhere to console her...you know, somewhere private...

The Great Hall - how many times does JOn have to remind these people that they are going to die without Dany’s help? Do they not believe him? I realize there are only a few people that have actually seen the army of the dead, but come on. I don’t expect anyone to be swearing fealty to Dany at this point, but a modicum of appreciation would be nice. She abandoned her campaign for this war and lost a dragon. Why did nobody bring this up? Lyanna Mormont needs to sit down - she almost called Jon a bastard and I was about to come up out of my chair. Sansa whinging about food - like, you knew they were coming and you are just now concerned about this? Dany holding her composure through that took some serious control. Her little clap back was good - whatever they want - that’s right, because they’re goddam dragons. I did like that Jon and Dany seemed to inch closer and closer to each other throughout the scene and the little look while Tyrion was talking was cute. Tyrion was well-intentioned, but they still won’t listen.

Sansa and Tyrion - I was waiting for this reunion and it did not disappoint. I would have liked to see Tyrion quell some of Sansa’s concerns as it relates to Dany. I was a tad concerned about the side eye that Bran was giving Tyrion at the end. Bran knows some things, so I’m curious what goods he has on Tyrion.

Jon & Arya - LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I was prepared to be underwhelmed here, but her jumping into Jon’s arms was everything I needed. The talk about family and Sansa being the smartest person Arya knows - yeah, didn’t see Arya siding with Sansa over Jon, but I get it. How is that dynamic of supporting family going to play out when it’s public knowledge that Jon is not their brother, but a cousin? I was also a little miffed that nobody brought up Littlefinger and that Dany and Arya were not formally introduced.

Euron/Yara/Cersei/Theon/GC - This whole segment of the show was just okay for me. I didn’t care for the dialogue. I love Pilou as an actor, but some of his lines were just cringe - I’m gonna put a prince in your belly. Like, wtf? I kind of felt a little bad for Cersei (well, not really) that she had to sleep with him and Lena brought the power in the after math of that scene. She’s brilliant and it will be the travesty of the year if she doesn’t finally get her Emmy. Theon finally rescuing Yara and making the decision to go and fight for the Starks - let’s get that ball rolling...even though I really enjoy Yara, I don’t think we will see her until way later in the season. The GC - and no elephants - wtf? Well, whatever...I would have rather had Ghost - and that’s the second big thing wrong with this episode. There was plenty of time.

Bronn - why? Completely unnecessary to have all the tits and ass in this episode. I know it’s classic GOT, but we are all over that element, I think, and it could have easily been him in a brothel and Qyburn comes to see him without all that sexposition. I don’t like the crossbow thing especially with all the talk about Dany getting hit with an arrow or a well-placed bolt.

Davos/Tyrion/Varys - can we give it up for Davos finally speaking the truth - Dany is a just woman and Jon is an honorable man - yes, please. Get married, make babies, and save the realm. Why Varys and Tyrion weren’t all over that - I don’t know. Tyrion wasn’t completely opposed to it, but Varys seemed rather extra cynical just then.

Jon & Dany - a lot to break down in this scene. Dany knows Sansa hates her and is really concerned that if she can’t even get her to respect her than the north is not going to fall in line either - that’s my interpretation of the scene. Jon saying that Sansa didn’t like them when they were growing up either was cute. Now, why in the hell are my baby dragons not eating? They hate the north? Or maybe, just maybe, they can sense that their momma isnt quite welcome there and they are feeling that emotion. I am shook that Jon got to ride the dragon (well, another one ;)) before learning about his Targ history. I saw this scene as Dany really letting him know, babe, I love you and I am willing to let you babysit my kids if needed. That 1000 years comment is coming back around again for sure. That waterfall and smooching scene was not for me - I ship them and know they are in love - that scene was for anyone that didn’t really pay attention in season 7 or read any interviews from anyone ever to just solidify that they are truly in love. Okay - it was for me too - I’m on my 3,487th rewatch. My prediction for why the dragons are acting funny - they know momma is carrying that man’s baby and they are overprotective. @me

Jon & Sansa - Sansa, why? All these two do is argue and it’s starting to piss me off. She says she trusts Jon and has faith in him, but then doesn’t trust Jon and has no faith in his decisions. They needed Dany and her armies and dragons and he got her to come there. This is why he left in the first place. She does have a valid question though - did you bend the knee for the north or because you love her? It’s a legit question, JON!! Answer. It’s both. That is the big theme of this season - love versus duty - and Jon can do both and will need to balance them both.

Arya/Gendry/Hound - the Hound and Arya was hysterical and I love the banter between Arya and Gendry. It’s like they picked up right where they left off. Can’t wait to see where this goes.

Dany/Sam/Jorah - This is tough for me. I am a Dany stan through and through, but I did not agree with her decision to burn the Tarly’s. At least not both of them. I do find it hypocritical when people chastise her for something that men have done for ages and hold her to a different standard though. I didn’t care for what she did, but I understand it. Sam’s reaction was expected and I do feel very sorry for him. I wish Dany had exhibited a little bit of remorse. Even if she wasn’t sorry, knowing he is JOn’s best friend, should have made her say - I’m so sorry. Just something.

The Reveal - I hated everything about this. Sam didn’t tell Jon as a friend. He told him in a fit of rage to try and turn Jon against Dany. I’m not okay with this. Jon wasn’t having it either. Jon executed Janos Slynt for much less. And Sam is the same person who told Jon they needed Roose BOlton’s help after the Red Wedding and told Olly to forget about his family being slaughtered by the Wildings. It’s a bit different when it’s your own family, but double standards much? Jon wasn’t having it, so I’m good with that - he’s still gonna have some words with his queen later. The reveal pissed me off because I think Sam should have come at it from a place of tenderness and instead it was bitterness about Dany and this news is gonna fuck her up. He doesn’t know they are together and he doesn’t really know her. I was pissed AF with the line - you gave up your crown for your people - would she do the same? Okay - when is someone going to bring up the fact that Jon bent the knee AFTER she agreed to fight for the north? And, please - she abandoned her fight for King’s Landing to turn her armies north and help fight. So, yeah, she would. This was the scene I was most disappointed with. John and Kit did a great job, but the writing was atrocious. All I can see is that they are setting this episode up to carry all the angst forward until the Night King is knocking on their door and then - just as Jon said - it won’t matter.

Umber - what the actual fuck? But I’m glad to see Tormund, Beric, and Edd.

Jaime/Bran - he’s waiting for an old friend!! GAAAHHHH!! I can’t wait to see the shit storm that his presence is going to bring in episode 2. That preview got my dragon momma heated.

Overall, I’d give the episode a 7/10. It was definitely not the strongest episode in the series and I blame that on choppy transitions and weird almost campy dialogue. Episode two better bring a little more grounding to the show, because I was not overly impressed with those 54 minutes. There were some great things that happened - dragon date, arrival, reunions, and how much was my girl Dany smiling this episode?? I’ve never seen her smile this much in seven seasons. Guess a good dicking down and falling in love will do that to you. The dialogue and lack of timeline really killed it for me though. As well as the glossing over of what I thought were really important storylines.

Let me know if you want to discuss.

[areyouscarletcold]

“I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you.” + hmm... constangreen?

Slight warning for implied homophobia and injuries.

31. “I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you.”

The door flew open before Gary could grab the handle and he nearly got smacked in the head had he not jumped back in time (he’d deny any squeak that left him later on, no matter how hard he was teased about it). Gary frowned and looked up to snap at the trespasser, because really, he was just about to open that and yes, it was pouring but they couldn’t have waited -

Then he realized who he was glaring at and his stomach dropped.

John - Constantine, it was easier to think of him by his surname, to forget every memory that ached because of it - had the decency to grimace and look sheepish at the very least. He also bore a black eye, though, so maybe he was wincing from the pain. “Sorry to drop in you, mate.”

“Did you really walk all the way here in the rain?”

Constantine glanced down at his soaked clothes, most of which Gary had to look away from because of…well, how see-through they’d become. “Not too far from the ol’ Bureau. Raining cats and dogs out there, though, I’ll admit.”

Right. He’d hoped the Legends would be too busy to do any check-ins, as selfish as it sounded.

Or maybe they’d been back for a bit and Ava just hadn’t bothered to tell him.

(Or she’d hoped John - Constantine wouldn’t bother visiting Gary. Ava was surprisingly sympathetic about his moping. Though, now that he thought about it, that might’ve had to do with her ever-persisting distaste for the warlock.)

“Did Director Sharpe punch you or…?”

Constantine laughed, grin a little strained, and Gary’s heart ached at the familiarity of the sound. “No, though I’m sure she’d love to. Went out drinking a bit ago.”

“What does that have to - Wait. You’re drunk?”

“Relax, squire,” Gary swallowed hard and he was pretty sure Constantine watched the movement. Or maybe that was wishful thinking. Dammit, Gary. “Only had two. I know my limit. Now, I hate to darken your doorstep but…” Constantine nodded behind Gary, a curious tilt to his head.

This…was a bad idea.

A very bad idea.

He could practically hear Ava’s disapproval resonating within his mind, her sigh echoing the longer he hesitated.

Gary moved to the side so Constantine could pass and resisted a sigh of his own. “I’ve got clothes in the closet if you need to change. I don’t know how you’re not shivering right now.”

“Thick skin,” Constantine teased, but he wasted no time in shucking off his shirt - to which Gary again averted his gaze because he was weak, okay? - and moving to Gary’s bedroom. The fact that he still knew where it was made Gary…

To be honest, he didn’t know how he felt about that.

(That wasn’t true. He knew exactly how he felt.)

Gary shut the door and his eyes, burying his face in his hands despite how his glasses dug into the sides of his palms. He should’ve pretended he wasn’t home, or maybe accepted Nate’s tentative invitation to dinner with his family tonight. Anything would be better than having to care for his ex.

Or whatever they were. After all, it wasn’t like they’d had a label. Gary wasn’t silly enough to kid himself into believing they were anything special.

Not now, anyway.

Constantine returned five minutes later with his soaked clothes in his arms, running a hand through his hair. Yet another bullet to the chest: did Constantine even realize he was wearing Gary’s favorite sweatshirt?

(Yes, Ava would definitely be sighing right now if she could hear his thoughts.)

“Thanks, squire.” Constantine flashed him a grin, though it was still tight and more tentative this time. Part of Gary, the pettier part, felt a bit vindicated and hissed Good.

At least he wasn’t the only one suffering here. Even if it was a different kind of suffering, perhaps.

Gary cleared his throat and folded his arms over his chest so Constantine couldn’t see his twitching fingers. “Uh, no problem. Really, it’s no problem. I can get something for your eye - ”

“There’s no need for that.”

Gary scoffed before he could stop himself. “Your eye is turning purple. You have to let me put ice on it or let me use the courier to take you back to the Waverider so Gideon can treat it.”

“I’ve had worse blows, mate, don’t worry about it.”

“In this weather, you’re not going anywhere,” Gary pointed out. “Just let me get some ice and I’ll - I’ll be out of your hair.”

Constantine’s brow began to furrow, though Gary couldn’t read the look on his face. Unsurprising, given how much of a closed book he was to the world.

Even while they’d been…whatever they’d been doing. Or were. Gary had been sure that Jo - Constantine would eventually open up; there’d been signs and he’d been so hopeful -

He shoved those thoughts into a safe in the back of his mind and locked the safe before he could dwell on them further. Constantine was still watching him with that weird look.

“I’ll go get the ice,” Gary muttered and he darted off before the warlock could object again.

Thankfully, the first aid kit was still under the sink where he’d left it and the pack was still in the freezer. He was in no mood to go hunting around the apartment. 

The perks of having a dangerous, life-threatening, time-traveling job, he supposed. You knew exactly where the medical supplies were.

Constantine was unusually quiet when Gary came back and handed him the pack. He didn’t even protest when Gary insisted on looking over the eye just in case, though he did assure him that he wasn’t hurt elsewhere.

“Did you get into a bar fight?” Again, Gary couldn’t help but add internally.

“Nah. I was, ah,” Constantine didn’t meet his gaze and Gary’s insides churned before the words even left his lips, “the bloke I came onto wasn’t very appreciative of my efforts.”

He knew he didn’t school his expression in time when Constantine glanced back, but Gary tried regardless to appear indifferent. “Ah.”

“Hence my quick retreat.”

“Yeah, that…that makes sense.”

Gary stepped back and reached for the first aid kit, maybe because he needed something else to look at, maybe because he hated the way everything just hurt, but a hand landed on his and he couldn’t stop himself from freezing.

“You alright there, Gary?”

The sound of his name, so soft and uncertain and unlike John - Constantine, dammit - caused something to spark and Gary met his eyes with a clenched jaw from the effort it took not to snap. Constantine seemed to see the intent still and his mouth twisted.

“Right.” The man nodded to himself. “Tad insensitive on my part.”

“You think?” The words were out before he thought twice and he could feel his face warm.

Constantine snorted and for some reason, the sound attempted to ease his heartache. “Didn’t have to guess. Was written all over your face the moment you saw me.”

Of course. Gary jerked his hand away - why, oh why had he let himself linger? He told himself the flicker in Constantine’s eyes wasn’t disappointment or…

Whatever. It was whatever, right?

“I can go if I’m intruding.” The warlock’s voice brought him back to reality and Gary huffed.

“You’re hurt, you can’t go out there in the pouring rain. Besides, if you came here, you probably came from the bar down the street. Right?” Constantine remained silent, which he took as confirmation. “Whoever you pissed off could be leaving soon or be waiting or… I don’t know.”

“Probably won’t be. Looked more interested in the lady serving him.”

“Oh.” He felt the odd urge to blush. “Sorry.”

“Not your fault. None of this is.”

He hated how contrite Constantine sounded. Gary forced himself to meet the other’s gaze and his heart leapt at how far forward Constantine was leaning, the intense scrutiny in his eyes.

“Right. Because it’s yours for being ‘yourself’, as you put it when you - ?” Gary swallowed as Constantine frowned, looking more than a little taken aback. Somehow it gave him the courage to continue, cruel as it felt. “Like you said when you said we couldn’t see each other? Or is it because you’re ‘a damn cannon waiting to go off’ and you’re trying to prove it tonight?”

“That’s not - ”

“Then why are you here? Why out for a drink here when you could go to London or France or - or anywhere else that’s not here? I’m sure Captain Lance would’ve gladly given you some from that stash I know she has that she made me promise not to tell Director Sharpe about. Why did you need to come here when you could’ve just - ”

“I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you.”

Gary…

Gary couldn’t have heard that right.

The longer he stared at Constantine’s face, the more he felt ill. No, sleep-deprived, that had to be it. He was overworked, overtired, maybe he’d fallen asleep on his desk and -

Constantine shut his eyes and an uncharacteristic melancholy painted his features in broad brush strokes, like the tragic subject of a Van Gogh painting. He lowered the ice pack from his eye and winced. “I thought it’d make things easier to pretend. Cuz yeah, I’m a damn fool. Even Sara’s been a nag about it.”

“Pretend…” Gary searched Constantine’s face for any sign of a prank, some kind of ruse or indication he was dreaming, but there was none. “What do you mean? You told me…”

“I got - I got scared, love.” The endearment did not make his heart skip a beat, no matter what any romcoms he’d watched may have suggested on the matter. “It’s complicated. Demons and hell and…well, all the things you never signed up for. It’s hard to explain in one night, but I lost someone. Someone I thought I could get over this with.” Constantine - John, who was he kidding - waggled a finger between their chests. “And I didn’t want the same to happen to you and… I ran. Like I always do.”

“You…” He stepped forward as John ducked his head, face screwed up into a wretched expression. Was it wrong to hope? “You got scared.”

“Happens to the best of us. Or worst of us, depending on how you look at it.”

Gary laughed. He didn’t stifle the sound, didn’t bother pretending he coughed, he just laughed, a short burst that made John’s eyes snap up in confusion. The sight made him laugh again and he had to hold up a hand so John didn’t question his sanity. “No, it’s fine, I just - I just… Really? You, the greatest warlock I’ve ever met, despite all your moaning and griping and - really? You got scared of me? That’s - literally no one has ever been terrified of me before.”

John’s lips quirked up. “Well, congratulations.”

“I’m not sure whether I should feel happy or relieved or angry right now,” Gary admitted, bringing his hands to the back of his neck so they had something to hold. “Mostly the last two - well, more relieved, I think - ”

“Hang on,” John said, holding up his hand. “I meant what I said. I’m still - ”

“A cannon about to go off? A mistake?”

John winced. “Yeah. That. Not to mention the whole ‘soul going to hell’ ordeal and demons and the lot.”

Gary couldn’t find it in him to care. He lowered his hands and shook his head. “I’ve known who you were since we met. I think we’re past that.”

“I’ve done some terrible things, love.”

“Hasn’t everyone?”

John’s face darkened. “Terrible as in hellish. And they’re coming back to haunt me.”

“We already dealt with demons before,” Gary reminded him. “And dragons and fairies and other magical creatures we now have to take care of or banish at the Time Bureau. This won’t be any different.”

John still didn’t look pleased. Gary sucked in a deep breath and extended his hand to the man’s free one, wiggling his fingers when John hesitated.

“Can’t we at least try?” Gary asked.

And maybe it was the optimist in him, or the part just waiting to get crushed under heartbreak once more, but he had a good feeling when John gave in with a small smirk and intertwined their fingers together.

50 Dialogue Prompts

[raddireksstuff]

Airk Tanthalos, the oldest of Sorsha’s children and yet the second fiddle to both his father Madmartigan and twin sister Kit. The spare prince of Tir Asleen. My sad, beautiful, people-pleaser boy.

Growing up, did you ever want to cut your hair or get multiple piercings just to break the princely façade that your mother wanted you to have? Did you ever think of running away? Or was wanting and getting Sorsha’s acceptance and validation more valuable to you? then again you were never the wild child. never the rebellious one cuz that was Kit. And running away would mean being the same as your dad and that.... that is more detestable than feeling rejected by your mum.

But years of being ignored and being made to stand to the side must’ve been hard for you. Not that you wanted to be the King or whatever but just to be acknowledge and feel wanted. Do you really even like sleeping around? or was that the attempt to get your mother’s attention? You’re not the problem child but have you ever thought of disappearing for a couple of hours just to see if anyone would come looking for you? Have you ever had the thought of getting yourself hurt just to say that it happened? To see if people actually cared? That maybe they’d hold you a little tighter?

You would never do it, but I wonder if the thought ever consumed your mind at all?

Your father. You hate him. You loved him. Would want him back? Would you be happy to see him again? Or would you hate it especially if he does come back and everyone suddenly started acting as if he never left at all? Would you resent Kit for idolizing him and looking up to him once more? As if the hole he left was never there at all. Like the years you spent trying to fill and fix that hurt, to be the man he could never be in your eyes was all for nothing. That the childhood you sacrificed trying to fix things with your mum and sister, meant nothing at all.

Your sister your twin. Have you ever felt resentful and jealous of her? Because she complains about everything but at least your mother pays attention to her. Or do you feel guilty instead? Cuz she’s shackled into place by the duties of being the Sorsha’s heir and you’re free as a bird.

Then you got kidnapped and everything in your being says run the moment you realise who Lili was. You run and you run but the sun and the ruined city is all there is and you just wanted absolutely anything else and Lili says you are important here. You gave in out of desperation but that was some fucked up shit cuz the crone made you fight your sister. made you almost betray your family and kingdom and that makes you feel like absolute shit.

You feel weak and stupid but then you realise.... Kit came for you. She crossed the Shattered Sea to rescue you. She came to save you.

Boy that must’ve felt amazing despite all the shit that happened. Cuz you don’t know how long you were in that city but I’ve wondered if you spent your time there wondering if anybody would ever come for you. If anyone would ever care to come save you. So when Kit came and said all of those things and really properly saved you, I wondered how that must’ve felt for you.

I know you must feel tainted. Cuz of the crone of course but also cuz you hate feeling all these negative emotions about your family.

But Buddy let me tell you this.. you are a good man. And despite all those feelings you love and you love and you love and you love and you care and you care so fucking deeply that it hurts. And wanting that same love be given to you is completely normal.

And maybe love is fickle and easily manipulated. But you love Kit more than you could ever resent her. You love your mum more than she could ever dismiss you. You love your kingdom more than anything the wyrm could ever offer to you. Your love is good. And you are good.

My boy never let go of that love. Cuz if there’s anything more powerful than wyrm in this world. It’s love.

[asahi-no-kagayaki]

Rainbow 6 OCs

I!!!!! Finally!!!!!! Finished!!!!! My!!!! Rainbow 6 Siege OCs!!!!!!!!!!! I’m really happy how this kinda turned out jifjfi my new babies i love them. I’m gonna have so much fun implementing them in r6s universe lmao i’m gonna post my first (r6) fic about them soon lol

Also i cant draw shit so i made their (casual-look ofc cuz cant find military-chara sheet thing) character design using Picrew (this website is really great btw) so dont blame me if theyre looking too anime-y jdojofjfo

More info about OCs below!!!!

1. Beruang (’Bear’ in Indonesian) Real Name: Lukman Susilo Sanjaya Age: 37 (As of 2019) Organization: Kopassus Position: Attacker Birthplace: Tegal, Central Java, Indonesia Date of Birth: January 12, 1982 Height: 5'10'' (1.79m) Weight: 177lbs (80kg) Armor: Medium Speed: Medium

Appearance: He wears standard Kopassus uniform but his face is covered by black half-mask and shades. In his free time, he usually wears bland t-shirt and sport pants. He’s kinda hairy, has a little bit of stubble and scar under his right eye. (Casual look:)

Personality: Serious 24/7. Difficult to approach since he only gives necessary/short answers if asked. He never seeks company of other people, and sometimes can be oblivious about things not related to his job. 

Appears stoic, but it’s not because he doesn't have any feelings. He just doesn't know or can't express his emotion to other people except Jasmine. Lowkey insecure about himself, like thinking he's 'not good enough' and people deserves someone better than him.

It's hard for him to have a close relationship with other people other than Kirana because of his insecurity as well his oblivious and stoic personalities. It's not impossible, just hard and take a lot of work before someone could call Lukman their friend or even boyfriend.

Special Gadget: Bear Knuckles - It's basically a pair of gloves shaped like bear paws, used to further increase the power of Lukman's fist (It should be noted that his punch is already strong before he put on the gloves), allowing him to break any surfaces (except steel, for now at least). Yes, it's technically like Sledge's hammer but it's his fist instead lol. Punching a person without holding back with this will likely put them unconscious or heavily injured. 

Unfortunately, it's powered by battery and can only be used a few times before it runs out. It must be charged before he can use it.

Short Biography: As a son of the current Major General of Indonesian's Special Forces Kopassus, Beruang's life was revolved around how to be just like his father. With his incredible strength and agility, coupled with knowledge of various martial arts, a fight without a weapon is what he shines the most. Calm and obedient, Beruang is one of excellent soldier Kopassus had, a War Machine ready to serve under his country.

Psychological Report: Suffers from a condition where he can't express his emotion and low self-esteem where he claimed that he's never good enough. It is believed that harsh training and upbringings from the environment he lived in was the cause of those problems. While he's good at his job, his social skill is very lacking, and he himself appears to be distancing himself with his teammates other than one person.

2. Jasmine Real Name: Kirana Tunggadewi Pitaloka Age: 26 (As of 2019) Organization: Kopassus Position: Defender Birthplace: Malang, East Java, Indonesia Date of Birth: July 18, 1993 Height: 5'5'' (1.65m) Weight: 131 lbs (59kg) Armor: Light Speed: Fast

Appearances: wears standard Kopassus uniform and her face is also covered with black half-mask and shades. In her free time, she usually wears colorful clothes, along with this black-chocker thing she always wear. She has short, neck-length straight short hair.  (Casual look:)

Personality:

She has two personas. A facade she used to manipulates others: Kind, supportive, and positive. And then her real self, which so far only Six and Lukman knows: Lazy, vengeful, manipulative, and cold. She loves gossip, and although usually lazy, she will put a lot of effort into works that beneficial/important to her (such as maintaining her face around other operators or learning 'perfect english' before joining Rainbow). 

But, Kirana is loyal and helpful towards people she thinks as her friends. If they're in trouble, you bet Kirana will try to cheer them up or maybe even hurt those who hurt her friends. She can be easily stressed, which surfaced as paranoia and mild anxiety. She also has abandonment issues, but no one know about this.

Due to her upbringings and her job as a spy, she would do anything to obtain important information she ordered to. Like for example, if someone ask her for intercourse in exchange of information, she would do it as long that information is very important and worth the deal (if not, she wouldn't do it and if they lied about it, she would kill them on site). She doesn't believe in and sometimes even disgusted with people in romantic relationship (like dating/engaged/married/etc), especially those who is in relationship with their workmates, but she's down for one night stand and such.

(It's not impossible for her to be in romantic relationship, but it is very hard to tie her in it)

Special Gadget: White Petals - Five small gadgets shaped together to look like jasmine flower. There's two set of this, one that function like Kapkan's gadget: Putting it on the side of a doors/windows/any openings and watch as everyone that walk through it get electrocuted. It's strong electric surge could even renders someone unconscious. Unfortunately, people could just jumped over/crawled under the gadgets to avoid it when it activates. But the gadget itself is very small, so it can be difficult to spot.

The second set of White Petals is a gadgets that works kinda like smoke grenade, usually used by Jasmine when she have to run. When thrown, it filled the entire room with a special, thick smokes that not even drone could see through. Unfortunately, it last only for a couple of seconds.

Short Biography: Born and raised in a family where her parents worked as spies, naturally Jasmine herself was shaped to be one. Claimed to be one of the best spy her country ever had, she never failed to complete her mission in obtaining and gathering information. While her firearms skill is lacking compared to other operators, her skill of espionage, her cunning thinking, and her good self-defense skill prove herself to be a spy to be reckoned with.

Psychological Report: Her facade personality seems to be a defense mechanism she put up to make herself appears benign and easy to communicate with, which what she needed for her job so she would be least suspicious. On rare cases someone's grow suspicious of her, she would be stressed which resort to anxiety and paranoia. Regardless, she doesn't have any issues in engaging in large group of individuals and offers genuine help and advice to people she care about.

3. Angel Real Name: Florence Marie Walanda Tambayong Age: 31 (As of 2019) Organization: Indonesian National Armed Forces (Land) Position: Defender Birthplace: North Minahasa, North Sulawesi, Indonesia Date of Birth: April 29, 1988 Height: 5'7'' (1.70m) Weight: 143 lbs (65kg) Armor: Light Speed: Fast

Appearance: Wearing standard Indonesian Army uniform, also wears crucifix-necklace. In her free time, she usually wears long-sleeves black/gray/white/pink shirts with silly designs (like some Indonesian words or random bootleg characters) or sweaters and capri pants. If she's on duty treating operators in the medical facility, she wears lab coat, surgical mask, and white gloves. Also her skin is darker compared to the other two ops. (Casual look:)

Personality: Brutally honest but also cheerful and friendly. She likes to socialize/interact with everyone, joining any kind of 'fun' activities, and laugh the loudest at jokes that’s not even funny. She cares a lot about her teammates' condition, so much to the fact that if she ever see any kind of injury or sickness, she will 'fix' them. She doesn't care if they refuse her treatment, she WILL treat them with or without their permission.

She's very dedicated and focus on her works. Even if she lose her limbs, as long she's still has consciousness and able to move, she will try her damnest to treat injuries and sickness.  

Special Gadget: Nightingale - A first aid kit she named after a figure she idolizes. Said kit is filled with numerous vitamins, boosters, bandages, medicines, scissors, needles, etc. It's equipped with every medical stuff you can imagine, people wonders how the hell can all that stuffs are stored in it. The gadget itself isn't very special, but Angel's adrenaline rush make her performs medical operations perfectly whenever she uses this kit on someone, so it's more like a mixture of a very-equipped first aid kit and Angel's excellent determination to save lives, just like Florence Nightingale.

In game, this could heals or revives operators to full-health with additional 30 health points. Unfortunately, it can only be used thrice before it ran out.

Short Biography: Her involvement in medical world began at University of Indonesia where she eventually got her medical degree. After that, she worked as a nurse in a local hospital before she joined Indonesian Red Cross Society and eventually served as medical staff in Indonesian Army. With her excellent comprehension of human anatomy, she vowed to erase sickness and pain from everyone.

Psychological Report: With her optimism and carefree attitude, Angel has no trouble making friends in every place she stay. However, trauma about her failure to nurse injured civilians back to health in 2009 Sumatra Earthquake took a toll in her mental state. This resulted in her strong dedication and commitment in her job, which usually would be a good thing to have but it made her force anyone with injuries or sickness, no matter how small it is, to be nursed by her. She doesn't take no for an answer, in fear of her past experiences. It is best for one to approach her in a healthy condition.

Trivia:

- Jasmine studied in Airlangga University and got bachelor's degree in Psychology, Angel studied in University of Indonesia and got (obviously) medical degree, while Beruang studied in military academy.

- Jasmine speaks Japanese to some extent, like she doesn't know proper grammar for each situation (Japanese has different grammars for any situation, like speaking in workplace or towards elders for example) but she can understand and communicate in it. She studied it all by herself, mostly because she's a weeb.

- As said before, Jasmine is a big weeb. She watches a lot of Japanese dramas or animes, also plays a couple of Japanese's mobile games like Fate/Grand Order and Love Live. This is what she mostly do in her free time.

- All of them like spicy food, although Jasmine likes sweet food a little more. As such, if they're cooking a meal you bet it will be spicy as fuck.

- Beruang loves coffee while Jasmine and Angel loves iced tea. Both Beruang and Jasmine doesn't like alcohol, although Jasmine might drink wine or champagne a little, while Angel is open to trying variety of alcohol drinks.

- Jasmine's hobbies includes cooking and gaming, Beruang's hobbies are reading history or watching documentary films, and Angel's hobbies are treating patients and jogging.

- Regarding their sexuality, Beruang is gay (still in the closet, only Jasmine knows). Jasmine's down to have sex with anyone so she’s more of a pansexual, while Angel is straight but dedicates her life to her work so much she doesn't care about romance or sexual activities.

- As said before in his special gadget entry, Beruang is strong. Literally strong, his fist could destroy wood in a second without him putting his gloves on. Although without his gadget, he can't destroy bricks and such (might leave a dent on it though). If angry (which is thankfully unusual), he can't control his power and might break something he hold at the moment.

- As mentioned in his biography, out of various martial arts' learned, Beruang is great at judo and silat. He would use Judo technique the most in a fight, though.

- Beruang thinks of Jasmine as his little sister, while Jasmine thinks of Beruang as either her best friend or a dad. They have close platonic relationship regardless, although Jasmine had a crush on him a while ago (before she knew he's gay).

- While regarding Angel, Jasmine and her dislike each other. Beruang is neutral with Angel, and Angel regards him as a friend.

- Beruang's favorite animals: German shepherd. Jasmine's favorite animal: any cats. Angel's favorite animals: Parrot.

[ebhenah]

Klancemas December 17: Decorating

 @monthlyklance

Klancemas 2018

"Candy Cane"

Dec 17: Decorating

(A future Klance-Family Fic)

CW: discussion of surgical repair of a badly broken bone

“I wanna go HOME,” Kashi grumbled, “I don’t like it here.”

“I know buddy, but that’s a bad break,” Lance said, ruffling the five year old’s hair, “and they might need to do surgery to fix it.”

“Am I gonna get a cool robot leg like Uncle Shiro’s arm?” His eyes danced with excitement at the thought.

“Ummm... no… and I’m pretty sure Uncle Shiro would have liked to be able to keep the arm he was born with.”

“Uhhhhh… Papi,” Kashi’s voice was… just far too condescending for a five year old. Someone was being a bad influence on his baby and he was gonna get to the bottom of it- as soon as life was back to normal. “Have you even SEEN Uncle Shiro’s arm? Cuz, it is like SUPER cool. He can open the fridge and get a drink from the couch! THE COUCH, Papi!”

“Hmmm…” he nodded thoughtfully, “yeah. That’s pretty cool. I know your regular old leg must seem pretty boring, but you aren’t getting a robot one. Sorry, dumpling.”

“Awww,” he deflated, flopping back dramatically and knocking his pillows to the floor and Lance had to shake his head at him, moving to restore the pillows to where they belonged.

Before he could say anything encouraging, the doctor popped into the room. “Mr. Um… Ko-gain?”

“Ko-gah-nee,” Kashi said patiently. “Ta-Kah-shi Ko-gah-nee… but everyone calls me Kashi.”

“I see,” the doctor said, “thank-you Kashi, but I was actually trying to speak with your dad. Mr. Ko- LANCE?!?!”

He looked up from where he’d been fussing over Kashi’s pillows. The doctor was a pretty woman. Tall, with honey brown hair and kind eyes, but he didn’t recognize her until she smiled, “oh my God! Xo!”

“Lance McClain,” she laughed, “wow- I was not expecting… Hi.”

“Hi,” he laughed, “this is… definitely a surprise!”

“Ummmm… Hi!” Kashi joined in, “Papi’s name’s not McClain, it’s Kogane.”

“Kashi, don’t be rude! Sorry, Xo… or I guess, I should call you Xiomara? I know you hated the nickname.”

“Yeah, I prefer Xiomara… Dios, it’s been… what? 15 years?”

“At least… closer to 20 I think. Wow… you’re a doctor. That’s amazing! Good for you!”

“Says the Paladin of Voltron,” she laughed, “Kashi- did you know that when your Papi was about your age, he tried to build his very own spaceship. He even named it!”

“He did?” Kashi was hooked, he ate up stories about his parents childhoods.

“Mmhmmm… it was… oh! I remember! Mirador De Estrellas,” she sat in the empty chair beside Lance, “not a bad name for a spaceship.”

“Dr. Marichal was very good friends with your Tia Rachel,” Lance explained, “so she was at our house a lot when I was your age.”

“I’m not allowed to say it, but Tia Rachel is my favorite,” Kashi chirped.

“Seriously Kashi? If you KNOW you aren’t allowed to say it, why did you say it right in front of me?” Lance threw his arms out in exasperation.

“I dunno,” Kashi just shrugged.

“Sorry about him,” Lance said, shaking his head slowly, “he’s… one of a kind.”

“Gee, I wonder where he gets that,” she laughed.

“Tia Veronica is supposed to be my favorite,” Kashi explained, “cuz she grew me in her belly… but she’s too bossy… and Tia Rachel lets me eat raw cookie dough.”

“Takashi Kogane!” Lance gasped, horrified. “Please tell me this is from pain medication!”

She glanced at the chart, and looked sheepish, “sorry… unless he has an unusual response, none of the medications should cause… umm… this.”

Lance dropped his face into his hands, “Kashi, dumpling, you are killing your Papi right now.”

“At least we are in a hospital,” Kashi pointed out.

That made Xiomara choke back a laugh. “Oh man… I like this kid of yours, Lance. Should we go over the treatment plan while I get a look at Kashi here?”

“Yes, please,” he said, shooting Kashi a look.

“Right, so, it… could be worse, but we aren’t looking at an ideal situation.” She checked Kashi’s vitals as she spoke. “Ideally we would want to see a nice clean fracture that would be easy to set, pin in place and let it heal. But what we are looking at here is multiple close together breaks, so we definitely need to get him into surgery, and we will be needing to utilize some… uhh… new technology.”

“You mean alien tech,” Kashi said clearly, crossing his arms over his chest. “Doctors hate to say that they are using alien tech… cuz of bigots. We’re not bigots. You can say alien tech.”

“Alright then, yes, alien tech,” she corrected, ducking her head and listening to his chest to hide her smile, “you know Kashi, most kids your age are afraid to say stuff like that to doctors. You’re a brave guy.”

“He is pretty… umm.. Outspoken, in general. But, his sister has Sandacies Syndrome,” Lance explained, “so we spend a lot of time around medical stuff… and most of her care is overseen by the Olkari.”

“Oh. I am very sorry, Sandacies is a tough diagnosis. How old is she?”

“Talia’s eight,” Lance answered, “and thanks. She’s doing really well, though.”

“Has Kashi been tested for Sandacies markers?”

“Talia’s adopted,” Kashi said, “so’s Rai, but me and Thace are surro-babies.”

“I see,” she said with a smile, “so, as I was saying- we’ll be using some new medical tech from Puig. It’s a biofoam. So, once we stabilize the break, we wrap a sleeve around the affected area, place the screws, and fill the sleeve with the biofoam. Over the course of a few weeks, Kashi’s own bone will replace the foam and he’ll be good as new. The surgery is pretty involved, though, and he’ll need to stay here for at least a week afterwards so we can monitor him. We don’t have a whole lot of information on how human dna interacts with this tech yet, so we like to keep a close watch.”

“A whole WEEK?!?! Papi! No!”

“Kashi, if it takes a week, it takes a week.”

“But… CHRISTMAS!”

The doctor looked confused, “Christmas isn’t for more than three weeks Kashi. You’ll be home by then.”

Lance shook his head, “no, he’s upset about missing out on the decorating. It’s his favorite part- putting up the trees and stuff. We help our friends with theirs so it’s kind of a whole thing.”

“Uncle Shiro said it was my turn to do the star this year, and Coran bought a TRAIN that goes IN the tree!” Tears were welling in the little boy’s eyes, “and I’m gonna miss Thanksgiving pizza!”

“Oh, Kashi,” any earlier irritation at him vanished and Lance drew his son into a tender hug. “I know, dumpling, but we need to fix your leg… and if the doctor says that’s how long it will take, then that’s how long it will take. I’ve known Dr. Marichal  since I was your age- she’s almost as smart as Pidge.”

“I HATE RAI,” he wailed against Lance’s chest, “this is all his stupid fault- pushing buttons and pickin’at stuff!”

The doctor checked her chart, “says here Kashi’s leg got caught in some kind of machinery?”

“Yes- he and his brother were poking around in Hunk’s workshop and getting into stuff they KNOW they aren’t supposed to touch. So, now the workshops are completely off limits to the kids. Poor Hunk is absolutely distraught.” He sat back on his heels and wiped the tears from Kashi’s face, “and so is RAI. He feels really bad that you got hurt, Kashi. You know he didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“But it DID, and it’s HIS fault! An’now I’m gonna be STUCK HERE when everyone else is doing fun Christmas stuff! Can’t Allura fix it with her glowy magic?”

“Kashi! Allura’s alchemy isn’t a first aid kit- she only uses it to heal in the most dire situations. You have a broken leg. We don’t need to use MAGIC to fix that.” That pout really shouldn’t be nearly as adorable as it was. As frustrated and worried as he was, Lance was struggling not to coo at his youngest- because he just looked soooo much like a tiny, angry Keith at the moment, with his furrowed brow and purple eyes and scowl. He stood, mussing up Kashi’s hair affectionately. “When should we expect the surgery?”

She glanced at the clock, “hmmm… technically it is emergency surgery because it wasn’t scheduled in advance, so he’ll be ranked for urgency and then as soon as possible. I would say it’ll be before the end of the day.”

“Surgery?” Keith asked from the doorway.

“Daddy!” Kashi wailed, sticking his arms out.

Keith rushed over and hugged him gingerly, pressing kisses to the top of his head and rubbing his little back. “I’m right here, kiddo,” he whispered, “Daddy and Papi aren’t going anywhere.”

“Keith, this is Dr. Marichal, she’s an old friend of Rachel’s, she’s in charge of Kashi’s case. Xiomara, this is my husband, Keith,” Lance returned to his seat, knowing that Keith wasn’t leaving Kashi’s side until they wheeled him off for surgery.

Keith extended his hand to shake hers, “it’s nice to meet you Dr. Marichal, you were saying he needs surgery?”

“Femur breaks are pretty serious,” she said with a nod before running through the surgical plan with him again.

“I’m gonna miss ALL the fun stuff,” Kashi sniffled.

“No, you won’t, precious,” Keith promised, “we’ll save lots of fun stuff for when you are home with us.”

“Shiro’s PIZZA… and Coran’s TRAIN…”

“I’ll talk to Shiro and Coran. I promise.” He pulled back and looked Kashi in the eye, “have I ever broken a promise to you?”

“No,” the little boy hiccuped.

“Right. So, I won’t break this one. I will talk to Uncle Shiro and Coran while you are getting your leg fixed up and I will find a way for you to not miss out on all your favorite stuff.”

“You promise?” he asked, hope blooming in his amethyst eyes.

“I PROMISE. Paladin’s honor.”

“Okay,” sniffled Kashi, “thank-you, Daddy.”

Lance smiled, he should have known that Keith would be able to put Kashi’s worries to rest. People were always surprised at just how good Keith was with kids. They assumed that he’d be awkward and standoffish with them the way he was with adults, but he wasn’t at all. Lance had yet to see a child that didn’t immediately take to Keith and he’d never seen a kid that Keith didn’t like.

“You don’t have to thank me, Kashi,” Keith soothed, “can you get those papers signed, Tumbleweed? I’m gonna chill out with our little guy for a bit.”

“Sure thing babe,” Lance answered, “alright Xiomara, where do I sign?”

“If you come with me, I’ll get you all set up with the paperwork,” she said nodding toward the door. He followed her to a little room that had a little table and a few chairs. It reminded him of signing the adoption paperwork for the twins. “I have to ask- ‘Tumbleweed’?”

He laughed, “ah... That… I took him on a romantic ice skating date. I thought it would be like rollerblading. I was wrong. He called me Tumbleweed because I couldn’t stay upright until  taught me how to ice skate… then he proposed that day, so it stuck.”

“Well, that is straight out of a Hallmark movie! Very cute. Definitely a keeper,” she said, laughing as she organized all the papers, “Kashi looks a lot like him.”

“Yeah, he’s just a lot like him, in general. Brave, stubborn… blunt,” he laughed, and pulled out his phone, bringing up a picture of all the kids, “Thace looks more like me… or, well… like Rachel, I guess.”

“That’s definitely YOUR smile on that little girl,” she laughed, and passed him the stack. He put the phone away and started scrawling his name on the flagged spots. She smiled at him, “I always get a kick of how much adopted kids end up looking like the people that raise them just because of expressions and mannerisms.”

“Yeah, it’s wild… and it carries over, too. Like, sometimes Rai will open his mouth and I SWEAR he’s channeling Shiro… who raised Keith. Family is…” He shrugged, “it’s a kind of magic, I think.”

“I like that, I might steal it to help reassure parents.” She sat in one of the chairs across from him, “you have a beautiful family, Lance. I’m glad I got to meet some of them- although it could have been under better circumstances.”

“I’m sure you will meet the others in the next couple of days,” he laughed, “we’ve got the whole hospital visitation thing down to an art.”

“So… ummm… Kashi said Veronica carried him? How is she doing?”

He glanced up at her between signatures, “are you sure you want me to answer that?”

“Yes… I mean… I think so… Just.. don’t tell me if it is bad,” she blushed, “I don’t want to know if it isn’t good.”

“Roni is great,” he answered, “she pretty much runs the world- although no one seems to have noticed yet. She’s single right now… but she’s got a couple of on again off again things, so that could change.”

“Good. That’s… good. I’m glad she’s doing well. She deserves it.”

“Want me to tell her you say hi?” he asked, signing the last line and returning the pages to a neat stack.

She gave him a wistful smile as she took the paperwork, “yeah. Yeah, tell her I said hi… and give my love to the family.”

“Will do.”

“You are such a charmer,” Keith whispered, wrapping his arms around Lance. “He’s going to be so excited to see this!”

“You were the one that had the idea AND arranged everything,” Lance chuckled, leaning back against his husband, and resting his hands on top of Keith’s. “All I did was convince the nurses to look the other way about the number of visitors.”

Trudy, one of the nurses, poked her head into the room, “he’s awake. They’ll be bringing him down any minute. Everything looks great.”

“Thanks so much,” Lance said.  He could FEEL the worry and tension drain out of Keith’s frame. “Babe- it’s a broken leg. He’s fine.”

“It’s a broken FEMUR and he needed surgery, Lance.”

“He’s five and still growing. He’ll be back to driving everyone bonkers before you know it.” He turned in Keith’s arms, “you are such a worrywart when it comes to the kids. It’s cute.”

Keith rolled his eyes, “this again?”

“Mmhmm… my husband is CUTE.”

“Lannnnnce… quit it.”

“CHECK OUT MY CAST! IT LOOKS LIKE A CANDY CANE!!”

They both laughed as Kashi was wheeled into the room. Sure enough the fiberglass cast that encased his leg was red and white candy-cane striped. Lance had to remind himself to breathe when he saw the metal frame and the screws that disappeared into the fiberglass- even though he’d known they’d be there, even though he knew they weren’t hurting his little boy.

“Very festive,” Keith said with an encouraging nod.

“See, dumpling? I told you that Xiomara was awesome. How are you feeling?”

“My skin feels tickle-y and I’m thirsty,” Kashi answered, “but my leg doesn’t even hurt!”

“Are you up to more visitors?”

“Sure- is Tia Rachel here? She can see her friend!”

“Sorry bud, no Rachel,” Keith answered as Lance ducked out of the room to gather the others.

A few minutes later Shiro, Coran, Thace, Talia, Krolia, Allura, and Romelle came into the room, carrying boxes of assorted sizes. A chagrined Rai and weeping Hunk followed and made a beeline to the little boy, tripping over each other to be the first to apologize. Hunk was barely coherent until Kashi patted his back and assured him that it wasn’t Hunk’s fault and he wasn’t mad.

Rai didn’t even speak- not that he was a particularly talkative child- and Lance suspected he didn’t trust himself not to cry. Rai HATED hospitals, always had, but he had insisted on being here for the entire duration of the surgery. He climbed up onto the bed beside his little brother and gingerly wrapped his arm around him while they both glared at spots on the bed somewhere in the vicinity of their knees.

Silent tears spilled out of Rai’s eyes and he dug his hand into the big pocket in the front of his hoodie, pulling out a sloppily wrapped rectangle and handing it to Kashi. Kashi took the gift and cautiously tore the paper off of it to reveal Rai’s handheld gaming system. “What?”

“Gets boring in hospitals,” Rai muttered, “and they keep saying you’re too little, so you can have mine. S’my fault you’re hurt and stuff.”

“You’re GIVING me this???” Kashi’s eyes were so huge they looked like they’d fall right out of his head.

Rai just nodded, not looking up. “M’sorry.”

“Rai, it was an accident,” Kashi said after a moment. “Wasn’t on purpose.”

“You were so mad,” Rai whispered, “said you hated me.”

“Don’t be stupid.”

Lance had to bite his tongue to keep from chiding Kashi about calling his brother stupid, but he managed. He knew they needed to work this through on their own.

“Your cast looks like a candy cane… can I be the first one to sign it?”

“Sign it?”

“That’s what you do with casts, bud,” Thace said, earning ‘cool big brother points’ as Kashi’s face lit up.

“Really?”

“Definitely,” confirmed Keith.

“I’ll see if the nurses have any markers!” Talia was already out the door before she finished speaking.

“Cooooool! Hey! What’s in all the boxes?”

“Well,” said Shiro, “you always help us make our places ready for Christmas, so this year, it’s our turn to help YOU.”

“We brought you a little tree,” Allura added.

“And ornaments,” said Romelle.

“I found some battery-powered lights for your room, sweetheart,” Krolia added.

“And I thought that you might want to have a train running on the tree-gown-”

“-tree-SKIRT, Coran,” Lance chuckled.

“Yes, of course! I thought you might enjoy having a train running on the tree-SKIRT until you come home,” Coran finished, twirling his moustache.

“I get to decorate my hospital room?” Kashi was floored, he didn’t know where to look, his big eyes darting from person to person. “Really?”

“Really,” Keith confirmed.

“And Tia Pidge will be here soon with a little Thanksgiving pizza for you and I to share,” Shiro said as he ruffled Kashi’s hair, “if you feel up to eating.”

“Best. Day. Ever!” squealed the five year old, the prospect of decorating his hospital room seeming to have completely overpowered the reason that he was in one in the first place.

Talia returned with two fistfuls of colorful markers and started handing them out to people as Allura and Shiro began unpacking the boxes and organizing the contents.

By the time Lance was able to get close enough to his son to sign the cast and give him a hug and kiss, the room was looking very festive. Keith and Shiro were singing carols. Rai was showing Kashi all the best games on his system. Thace and Pidge cutting red and green construction paper into strips that Hunk was stapling into a long chain.

They’d attracted the attention of some of the other kids on the ward and a few of the more mobile and energetic ones had joined in on their fun. Allura had quietly ducked out to visit the kids who weren’t up to it. The Paladins, in general, had a certain amount of fame, even now, but Allura, the Alien Princess, was a bonafide celebrity.

“This was definitely a stroke of genius,” Lance whispered to Keith, “you’ve saved his Christmas.”

“I made a promise,” Keith answered, his voice matter of fact.

“I love you, babe.”

“I love you, too, Tumbleweed.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #168

“i’ve wished for this, i’ve bitched at that, i’ve left behind this little fact: you cannot kill what you did not create.”

Which internet browser do you use? Chrome. Have you ever lived on a university campus? Nope. When was the last time you saw a photo of your ex? *The* ex, when I was going through old photos on my Mom's FB looking for something. Do you play any games on your phone? DragonVale and Pokemon GO. Have you ever shaved your face? Only above my lip every now and then to avoid that dreaded lady-stache. :') What color is your front door? White. What was the last vaccination you got? Couldn't tell ya. When was the last time you were at a party? A year ago. Did you ever get called horrible names like whore, skank, or bitch? The only two I can think of are bitch and martyr. Who’s your favorite rapper? And your favorite song by this favorite rapper? Eminem, "Love The Way You Lie" or "Space Bound." How about your favorite band? And your favorite song by this band? Gah you know the story, I'll just do Ozzy for this one. Hard to say. "See You On The Other Side" probably wins, but "Mama I'm Comin' Home" is on its heels. Has anyone ever made a promise to you that they’d change? Who? Juan, probably. What’s your television addiction? I don't watch TV of my own volition, but I'd be happy to watch The Good Doctor. Have you ever had any painful dental work done? If so, what? Nothing worse than just getting braces tightened. Is there anyone you’d like to apologize to? Dad again to his face about how wicked I was to him and am so thankful he forgave me. I just haven't because I want that in the past and I'd probably break down anyway. What was the last song you listened to that made you cry? Idk. Could you go a month without talking to your best friend? That's my gf, no, I'd lose my mind. Can you make yourself sneeze? No. Is there something that you haven’t told anyone that you actually would like to tell someone? Meh... I think it's better I don't. How has your style changed since you were in high school? Not really. What was the last new drink you discovered that was delicious? Dunno. What’s the most Lisa Frank-worthy article of clothing you own? Nothing, really. What color is the rim around your full-length mirror? Black. What is your favorite way your hair has ever looked? How it is now. What are five things you are good at? Interacting with animals, being there for people, writing I'd like to think, being a great beast mastery hunter in WoW like 1v1 me bro, and uhhhh panicking over the most minute things. What are five things you are bad at? COMMUNICATING, initiating conversation, arguing w/o crying, understanding finances/economics, and math. Do you enjoy drawing at all? I do, but I rarely do it because I'm way too critical and get annoyed. And fixing mistakes cleanly can be hard. I want a drawing tablet one day hopefully in the near future, because I feel like I'd be more motivated to do it.  Quickly fix errors. What was the last thing you were frustrated with yourself about? Oh boy, idk. This is so common. Do you have unusual sleeping/waking hours? No. In your personal opinion, which hair color is the most beautiful? Probably blonde with some darker highlights I guess, if we're talking about natural colors. Actually, for girls, maybe red. How about eyes? Sapphire. Last sporting event you watched? Dance recital. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No. Are you skilled when it comes to working in the kitchen? HA no. Do you listen to music while driving? It has to be quiet or I can't concentrate. What’s your favorite style of jeans? (Skinny, boot cut, flare, etc) Skinny. Are you deathly allergic to anything? No. Who was the last person you had sex with? Or are you a virgin? Jason. Are you Italian? No. Would you ever go vegan? There's no way I could survive. Where’s the nearest GameStop near you? Like... 10-15 minutes? Have you had an argument with anyone recently and if so, do you still have issues with that person? Sara, but only because I said something stupid. No, I have zero issues with her. Who was the last person that asked to hang out with you and what’s the story of how you met that person? Colleen, girl scouts. Is there something you generally always ask for help with? Cleaning the animals' cages. Don't have anything to put them in so I hold them while Mom cleans it. Unfair to her, I know, but I can't do both and Mom doesn't seem to mind, plus she wouldn't hold any of them. Do you own a pocketknife, or any other kind of multi-tool? No. What was the last thing you took a video of? Teddy being a goof. Have you ever been somewhere where you didn’t fluently speak the local language? No. What is your least favorite kind of weather? Hot and humid like fuck off. Describe the 'look’ you did the last time you wore makeup. Uhhh mildly winged liner, black eyeshadow, black lips. If you got pregnant the 1st time you had sex, how old would the kid be now? I don't remember when it was 'cuz I've said before I didn't really. Realize it was sex until literally this year when I looked back on it. But anyway, six-ish. Have you ever polished and waxed your car? N/A As a kid, did you have any friends with parents who yelled a lot? Don't think so. What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken? ODing. Have you ever lived in a small community where everyone knew each other? No. What are some of your least favorite foods? BEANS, mushrooms, asparagus, brussel sprouts, cherries, nuts, etc. etc. etc. I'm picky as hell. Do you give your pets gifts and treats for their birthday/adoption day? Only Teddy 'cuz I actually know his rip. Has anyone ever set you up on a blind date? If so, how did it go? No. Do you believe your ex cares about you? The only ex I feel /sincerely/ does is Girt. What is the strangest type of candy you have eaten? Idk. What would be your most ideal profession? Meerkat biologist. What kind of rides do you enjoy the most at amusement parks? Kinds that don't make me fear vomiting. What is a topic you definitely don’t want to talk about with anyone? Weight. Where do you carry the things you need with you when leaving the house? Pocketbook. What’s the last thing you made with your hands? Uhhhh a drawing? Have you ever been physically or mentally abused? How did it affect you? No. Do you consider yourself a vengeful person? If so, why’d you think that is? Not in the least. Do you own any accessories with your name or initial on them? I have a "B" necklace somewhere from someone, but. Never wear it. Are you nervous/anxious, for any reason at all? Nah. For once. What was the last compliment you received from the opposite sex? Dad said I looked great when I got in the car to go to the theater. Have you ever been to an orchard? No. :c What are your plans for Halloween? I've no clue. :/ Do you plan on carving a pumpkin this year? Yeah. What’s your favorite Halloween movie? Hocus Pocus. What’s your favorite kind of apple? Red. Do you like to roast marshmallows? Yeah. If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work? N/A When was the last time you stayed in a hotel? Where was it? Shit, not since a dance competition at the beach years ago. Have you ever gotten your nails done? Like twice because I was invited. Who was the last family member of yours that died? Idk. Who was your favorite president? Not educated enough on this. The last type of sandwich you made or ate: I believe ham, cheese, and mustard. The last time the weather was just the way you like it: Been a long time. The last time you apologized and the last time you received one: I dunno. I say "sorry" like obsessively, but a serious apology, idk. To me, either Mom or Sara. Do you have a smartphone or a dumb phone, or no phone? Smartphone. Do you own any tapestries, and if so, what’s on it/them? No. Have you ever made a collage for your bedroom wall? No. What types of churches do you find really boring? All of them. On what day is your local grocery store the busiest? I would guess the weekend? What day do you usually go grocery shopping? I don't, Mom does. She doesn't have a regular day. What devotional do you read, if any? None. What is your favorite color for cars? Burnt orange. Have you ever tried writing with the opposite hand? How good/bad was it? Yeah, not good. Do you prefer dark, brown or white chocolate? Milk/brown. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No. Have you ever written a love letter to someone as a joke? That's fucking evil. No. How many true heart breaks have you had in your lifetime? One. Do you have any gay family members? Mom's cousin or something. Who was the last person to sleep over at your house? Sara. Would you ever get a boob job? I DON'T NEED ONE LIKE ONE OF THE THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO MOST WITH LOSING WEIGHT IS NOT HAVING TRISHA PAYTAS TITS. Did your last relationship end because of you or the other person? Me. Have you ever tried to break up anyone because YOU liked the guy/girl? No. What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? My very first "boyfriend" I think actually is. I'd be stunned if Juan, Girt, and especially Jason came out, although Jason would make me fucking cackle. Boy could I say some shit about that. Would you ever take someone back if you found out they cheated on you? Nah son. Have you ever lied to your boyfriend/girlfriend? I've never told a serious lie, but I'm sure I've told like minuscule ones ("I'm fine," etc.) every now and again. Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? Yup. Minority opinion, but. When was the last time you were on a city bus? Never. Do you have a garden? Does it have flowers, vegetables, or both? No. Have you ever burned an ant with a magnifying glass? No. Have you ever had an ant farm? Maybe? I had a lot of those little animal kit things as a kid, like frogs and butterflies. Have you ever had crabs, turtles, or lobsters? Hermit crabs. Briefly turtles. Has anyone ever told you you’re too young for something? No, I think? Maybe. What about for someone? No. How many times have you changed a diaper in your life? Literally once when it wasn't even dirty???? Why did I do that??????????? Has a younger person ever confided in you as an adult? Yeah. Have you ever felt responsible for someone’s death? No. Who knows your biggest secret and why did you tell them? No one. What’s your best memory with your ex? Aaron: group skating rink date. Juan: I'm not sure, probably making him play a Just Dance game with me lmao. Jason: That's like impossible to say with how long we were together. But a time that will always stand out for me is when we were playfighting, I came storming into the kitchen, big time slipped in the middle of "yelling," and he caught me and we laughed for like a full minute. Tyler: Nothing, really. Girt: He was reading a memento in Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs, and I'll say the writing is very unique, and he got to one sentence he read in THE most incredulous voice, and I spat my drink e v e r y w h e r e. I deadass laughed/cried for like ten minutes and still had outbursts afterwards. It was one of those "you had to be there" things. The last time you felt insulted/offended: Dunno. The last time you held a baby: Over a month ago when I had to hold Keegan for whatever reason. The last form you filled out: Something for my new doctor. The last video game you played: So here's a super weird fact about me; as a kid, I loved hunting games, all the while even then hating hunting for sport irl. Not a clue clue why. I recently got more "back" into gaming and I'm working on beating Dangerous Hunts again. What is your favorite type of cat? Persians. What religion were you raised in? Are you still that religion, if you had one? Roman Catholicism, and no. What religion/spiritual path intrigues you the most, if any? Wiccan and Buddhism. What heritage does your last name imply? Scottish. Recently, what artists/bands have you been listening to a lot? Powerwolf, Mother Mother. Do you know any HTML coding? No. Has anyone ever called you rich? HA as if. What makes you feel beautiful? lol How many bathrooms are in your house? One. Last time you were on a plane and where did you go? March, Illinois. Hopping on one again tomorrow!! Are you considered a very sensitive person? Probably by those who know me well. I know I am. Have you ever told someone you never wanted to speak to them again? Dad, yeah. What is the worst name anyone has ever called you? Being called a martyr still hurts, and that was like two years ago. When was the last time you cried out loud in front of someone? Mom around a week ago or something. Have you ever been questioned by the police? No. Have you ever had to be put on medicine for a mental disorder? Yeah. What do you normally drink when eating at a restaurant? Mtn. Dew if Pepsi products, otherwise Coke. Have you ever been in a car accident? One. Are you currently in a happy relationship? YEAH!!!! Do you normally have nightmares or good dreams? Neither. Just weird. What if a friend asked you to go with her to get an abortion? OH WOW I AM *NOT* THE PERSON TO ASK. I really don't know. I've made my opinion on the subject pretty clear, and if the abortion wasn't for your own mental and/or physical health and rather you just not wanting to face the consequences of your actions, idk if I could go. Have you ever had a deep conversation with someone who was high on anything? No. Are you experiencing problems within a current friendship? No. Ever made yourself throw up? No, I fear vomiting too much to ever. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Jason. When at a fast food place, do you usually order a small, medium, or large drink? Medium. Do you dip your pretzels in anything? No. When was the last time you started a new medication? Recently for knee pain. What is your favorite type of nut? None. Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? Literally Domino's lmao. Do you know what year your parents married? No. Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yeah. Do you prefer loose leaf tea or teabags? You know my opinion on tea. What is your favorite place to get Chinese food? I dunno the name of the place Mom goes. Do you part your hair to the side? It's parted far to the left. Is winter your least favorite season? No, it's my second-favorite! Do you know someone who’s a stripper? No. Are you sitting in a spinning chair? No, I'm in bed. When’s the next time you’ll go to a haunted house? I've never been to a "real" one but would LOVE to. How old is too old to trick-or-treat? I really don't care. Honestly believe there's no magic age where it's no longer okay. I still would if not for societal expectations. Have you ever caught a firefly? Yes. Do you own any camouflage? No. What's the next really important thing you have to do? Get to my flight on time. Are you looking forward to anything? T O M O R R O W  A P P R O A C H E S How late is too late for coffee for you? I don't drink coffee. Have you ever written or considered writing a play? No. How about a novel? If so, could you give us the synopsis of the plot? Yeah, as a kid. It was about a family of meerkats of different "breeds" (dragon, fire, ice, etc.) plagued by their king's brother as well as the prince finding love. That's all I remember of it. Who is considered the "black sheep" of your family? Why? Lol me. I'm just pretty different from like everyone with "problematic" traits. What's a color you hate? Puke green. What's an odor you hate? Old garbage. What's a sound you hate? Babies screaming omfg. What's something you'd never ever dare to ask another person? Hmmm. Probably if they've ever been raped or molested. What's something you've always wanted to ask someone but haven't dared? OKAY. So I coulda sworn one of my best high school friends was pregnant in middle school, before I talked to her at all. Then I believe I saw her with her baby once when we were in the gym for something. When we became friends, she never spoke of having a child and most certainly didn't look a bit like she'd had a baby. I never wanted to ask because you know the stigma of teen pregnancy. What is a song you cannot stand? Any country song where the singer has that godawful southern-as-hell twang. What's the worst/best thing you've done without your parents knowing? *shrugs* If you wear earrings, what does your favorite pair look like? Idk, I haven't looked at my earrings in a long time. Have you ever won any money from a scratch card? Like a dollar or so on the rare occasion my parents bought one. How about a slot machine? No. Do you like playing bingo? Sure. What's been the best thing you've found at a flea market? I love this little dragon figure I have. Oh, and my shipwreck lamp! Do you ever glance at people's butts? I'm a sucker for ass tbh okay. Like I'm not a dick that's gonna stare, but I'm guilty of glances, sure. What's something that catches your eye about other people? Their style. What's a random funny scene from a movie that has stuck with you? The first thing that came to my mind is from the Scooby movie where the girl introduces herself as Mary Jane and Shaggy goes, "That's, like, my favorite name" lmao. Oh, the things you miss as a kid. Are you one of those people who will not use a public washroom? I avoid it as much as possible. Have your parents ever disapproved of the person you're dating? No. What kind of things do you collect? Right now, just meerkat and Silent Hill stuff. YouTuber merch will happen when I can afford to buy it myself ha ha. Do you have a thing for body hair? No opinion. Not too into heavy back or chest hair, but still, don't really care. Is there anyone into you that you have no interest in? No clue if Girt still likes me, but if so, I don't reciprocate the feeling romantically. What's the longest you've slept for? Like 11 hours, maybe? Do your parents have a bad relationship with anyone? Not especially other than between each other. Were you raised by someone other than your parents? No. Do you prefer the color pink or blue? Pink. What's the last chore you did? Vacuumed. Have you ever had pet mice? Rats. What is your godmother's name? I don't think I have one. What's the last party you went to? A year ago at Summer's. Have you ever been to a jungle? No. What is your favorite jungle animal? Tigers! When did you first find yourself attracted to someone? I dunno. Elementary school. If you met a genie, what would you wish for? Financial stability, world peace, cure for Alzheimer's/dementia. Have you ever ran away from home? For like two hours or less. Is your father injured? No. He has a bad back, but. Would you be willing to die protecting your country? Like in the military or something? No. Have you ever dated someone from a different country? For less than a day. Are you part Native American? Not that I know of. What are your pets' names? Teddy, Bentley, Roman, Venus, Kaiju, and Mitsu. Do you like to go hunting? NONONONONONO. I'd have a hard time doing it even for survival. Have you ever worked two jobs? No. Who is the oldest sibling in your family? Katie. What are some of your happy thoughts? Being with Sara, imagining a positive future, remembering all I've endured and conquered, etc. etc. What's your favorite pattern for clothes? Plaid, I suppose? Do you ever wear fur? No. Who is the worst boss you've ever had? Why? N/A What are the names of the all the dogs you've ever owned? Trigger, Angel, Teddy, Dale, Delilah, Harley, Cali, and Bentley, I think. Where did you meet your current or last significant other? YouTube. When did you last ride a bike? Years ago. What did you last ask your parents permission for? Uhhh. I dunno. Oh, actually, I was thinking of spending a day with Dad, and I wanted to know if it would bother Mom. She said no, but I don't believe her. I didn't do it, though. Why were you in a waiting room the last time? Psychiatrist appointment yesterday. What's your lawyer's name? I don't have one. Do you own a lot of scarves? Do I even own any??? Would you ever get a face tattoo? No. What kind of car did you take your drivers test in? Haven't taken it. How much was the rent/mortgage at the cheapest place you’ve ever lived? I wouldn't know, I don't pay it. Who in life have you felt the strongest need to protect? Holy shit, Sara. What is the cruelest thing a person has ever said to you? Who even knows. What crime from history fascinates you most? No clue. Who do you think was the worst criminal in history? Maybe Saddam Hussein. Who has the weakest set of values in your family? Idk. What is the most disturbing sound you know of? Bones cracking. What's the shortest amount of time between orgasms you've ever experienced? N/A Which laws would you most like to change? Off the top of my head, we. Need. More. Gun. Fucking. Control. I'm not for a ban of firearms, but jfc, it's too easy to purchase a goddamn killing machine. What the oldest you'd like to live? 80, maybe? After that I can just imagine poor health that would really suck. Which sibling is or was favored most by your parents? I actually think it's me, tbh. Mom and I have an incredibly strong bond and have serious history, and Dad's and mine is very deep and definitely as a kid was the storybook father/daughter relationship, and now that we're reunited, I think we both cherish each other more. What's the biggest surprise you've ever had in bed? Waking up in the middle of the night to Jason groping my boobs. Who is the person you most wanted to have an affair with but didn't? I've never wanted that. Who have you most feared in your life? Dad. What would make you go insane the fastest? Losing Sara for the same reason as Jason. What was the quickest friendship you ever made? I'm not sure. What is your strongest reason for your opinion on abortion? I guess you have the right to be selfish if you're put at risk. You come first. What would you most like to hear from your father? He's proud of how far I've come. What one natural thing would you most like to see? Maybe a volcano erupt from a safe distance. What has been the single most important influence on your life? The breakup. What is the most worthy cause on earth? Seeing all life as equal and actually acting on that. Caring for one another. What would you most easily be driven to kill for? Sara's safety.

[secretlystephaniebrown]

Come On Home: 1/5

After the war, Locus ends up spending his days on Hawaii, where he meets Kai and Grif. Nothing will ever be the same.

I had a lot of Grif feelings after this season, and his dynamic with Locus was INCREDIBLE. So I threw around an AU where Locus got redeemed pre-Chorus through the power of Kai and Grif being a family. I got a shocking amount of support for it, but put it in a drawer because I had too much going on. Fastforward to now, add in a very encouraging @sroloc--elbisivni, and well. Here we are.

Special thanks to @a-taller-tale for being my beta here, and @illumynare, who let me borrow her origin for Locus's scar.

Also on Ao3

Locus doesn’t like this city. It’s loud, cramped, and swamped with tourists. Most are civilian tourists, but others are like Locus. He sees uniforms out of the corner of his eye, recognizes the postures and scars on others. Some are on leave. Those ones tend to gather in groups.

And a few are like him. No home to go to after their tours ended, so when asked to be dropped off, they picked somewhere unlike the war. Somewhere bright and sunny and beautiful.

Hawaii had been Felix’s idea, when they had gone their separate ways. For a moment, Locus had thought that Felix was going to suggest they return to their old ways, to the bounty circuit. But Siris wasn’t interested, and without Siris, there was no reason for them to stay together. Siris had gone home, to Megan and his children. Felix had things to take care of. Locus had nothing.

So here he is, wandering the streets of a tourist trap city on an island. In the distance, a busker is playing music. It’s too cheerful, Locus feels. The crowd is obnoxious, pressing in at all sides. The streets crawl with pick pockets, but the thieves are smart enough to avoid the soldiers, let alone soldiers like Locus. One look at his scar is enough to tell people exactly what he is.

Noticing someone staring at him, he ducks his head and turns into one of the shops that line the street. Half of the wares are out on the street, while the rest are inside the building. There are small statuettes, cheaply painted and obnoxiously colored. Siris’ children might like them, Locus thinks, weighing one of them in his hand. It’s a turtle.

But then he remembers that Siris says he wants to put the life behind him, and he knows that it includes him. He places the turtle back down on the shelf and goes back out onto the street.

A group of children are on the other side of the road now. They’re loud; laughing and shouting and pushing each other good naturedly. A game is starting, but it’s not any that Locus recognizes. There’s a basketball, some chalk, and several jump ropes tied together to form one long rope.

For a moment, Locus just watches. They’re freshly out of school; many of them are still carrying their backpacks. It’s been a long time since Locus has been near children. They’re not common in a warzone, and it’s been years since he visited Siris and Megan and their children.

He turns his attention to the next store. This one is selling used books. Locus browses, looking to see if there’s anything interesting.

It’s a soldier’s habit, watching the children out of the corner of his eye. The noise ensures that he can’t quite forget them, and some older instinct makes him not want to. So he sees it the second it happens.

One of the loudest girls, wearing a bright yellow shirt, trips over something. Stumbling, she falls onto her hands and knees right in the middle of the street, in front of oncoming traffic.

Locus moves without thinking. He charges forward, grabs her by the arm, and pulls her out of the way. The car screeches to a halt, right where she had been moments before.

“Fuck!” The girl yells. Her hands and knees are scraped, and her eyes are wide with fear.

“Are you alright?” He asks. He realizes that he’s still holding her arm and drops it.

She stares up at him, and he’s struck by how young she is. For a moment, she’s perfectly still, and he wonders if she’s staring at his scar, before she bursts into tears, shaking from head to toe with the power of her sobs. Shock, he realizes.

Locus has no idea what to do. In the war, tears were to be ignored. A moment of weakness. But this isn’t war. This is a child, who could have died in the middle of a road while playing a game.

Awkwardly, he places a hand on her shoulder. “Is there…” he struggles, trying to figure out what Siris would say here. “Is there something I can do? Where are your parents?”

She shakes her head, still crying. “Can I walk you home? You need to clean those cuts.”

She manages to nod, her nose dripping. She takes one step and cries out, falling over again. Locus manages to catch her, helping her sit down.

Locus checks her ankle. “It’s sprained,” he says. “We might need to go to a hospital.”

She shakes her head. “No hospitals, Dex says,” she says, her voice shaking.

Locus nods. “Very well,” he says. He certainly knows what that’s like. It’s not his place to ask questions, but perhaps there’s something else he can do. “I… I can carry you home, if you’d rather not walk.”

She gives him a big smile, even if it wavers a bit. “Piggy back?” She asks, almost eagerly. “Cuz you’re suuuuper tall and I bet you can see forever, so it’ll be way better than Dex!”

Locus blinks, then realizes she’s recovering and resuming her natural... vivaciousness. Maybe this is more shock. But he lets her climb onto his back. She waves goodbye to her friends, who seem oddly unconcerned with her nearly dying, has Locus collect her backpack from a nearby stoop, and then they head out.

She directs him towards the worst part of town, far away from the tourist traps. Locus had wandered here the night before, half searching for a fight. He hadn’t found one then. Six foot three of former soldier is hardly a tempting target for muggers, no matter how desperate.

The house she tells him to stop at is old and kept in just good enough repair to not draw eyes or commentary.

She gives him the key out of her backpack, and he unlocks the door. The inside is exactly the same as the outside. It would be cleaner, Locus suspects, if the inhabitants had more time, but there’s an air of desperation here. They’re cutting corners, pinching pennies. As he sets the girl down on the couch, he realizes everything she’s wearing is brand new and clean, in perfect contrast to everything else. Whoever is looking after her is doing a good job.

He fetches the first aid kit from the bathroom, and sets about wrapping her ankle and cleaning the scrapes on her hands and knees. She chatters the whole time, telling him about the rules of the game they’d been playing and about how stupid tourists never looked when driving down that road anyways.

“I’m Kaikaina,” she adds, when Locus finishes putting the bright pink band aids on her palms.

“… Sam,” he barely catches himself before he says Locus.

She grins up at him. She’s so young, he thinks. So small, so trusting. She doesn’t know what he did during the war, doesn’t know anything about him.

The door was opened. “Kai! I told you to lock the door, for fuckssake—who the fuck are you?”

“Shut up, Dex,” Kaikaina yells back. “This is Sam! He helped me get home!” She stuck out her leg. “I fell,” she adds.

“Dex” is a few years older than Kaikaina. About sixteen, he thinks. Kaikaina has happily disclosed that she’s eleven.His hair is long, and his clothes are in much worse shape than hers, but they have the same face, the same eyes. He’s wearing a uniform of some kind—probably fast food. “Great, thanks, you can go now.”

“Deeeeex,” Kaikaina whines. “He saved my life! The car was totally gonna hit me, you can tell cuz the lady’s bra was halfway off and she had her hands down the guy’s pants! But Sam pulled me out of there and it’s totally fine!”

“Wait, what?” Dex says, and Locus isn’t sure if it’s in response to the detail about the driver or the discovery that his sister had nearly just died.

“It’s fine,” he says. “I should get going.”

Dex squints at him. “You’re a tourist?”

Locus shrugs. “I’m… recently discharged.” His lease is long run out back home, and his things are still in storage, but he doesn’t know if he should even think about going to get them. They feel like they belong in a life long before, a simpler life.

“Where are you staying at?” Kaikaina says.

Locus blinks. “I spent last night at the Aloha Inn.” He’s been drifting around. He alternates between single night stays in various hotels or just sleeping on the beaches. He’s been here two weeks now, trying to figure out where he’s going next.

She wrinkles her nose. “That’s a sex place!”

He frowns at her. “How old are you?”

She sticks her tongue out at him. “I know things!”

Dex stares at him for a long moment. He’s hostile, untrusting, a complete contrast to his… sister, Locus decides.

Kaikaina kicks him with her not-injured foot. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

Locus stares at the two of them, at this house. He doubts that the two of them can afford feeding him. “I should get going,” he says.

Kaikaina pouts at him, her bottom lip trembling. “Please?”

Dex and Locus share a moment of eye contact, and Dex’s shoulders slump. “Yeah. You should… stay.”

Locus ends up sitting on the floor playing poker with Kaikaina while Dex fixes dinner. Locus quietly makes a note to leave some money in the couch when he leaves. He can afford it for now. He’s just drifting anyways. There’s nothing left for him.

Kaikaina is good at poker, and Locus loses all of the M&Ms that she’d produced from a cupboard to her faster than he’d lose money to Felix. He doesn’t complain, just helps her to the kitchen table when Dex announces that dinner is ready.

It’s simple; rice and vegetables, but it’s well made. Dex is good at cooking, clearly, even without too many ingredients or much time. There’s no sign of any plate for a parent, or expectation of one. The house is clearly set up for two people, but Dex is also clearly too young to be legally looking after Kaikaina by himself.

Even just letting him be here is a risk for these two, Locus realizes. His presence threatens everything. Kaikaina might not realize it, but Dex certainly does. No wonder he doesn’t want Locus here.

“How long were you in the army?” Dex asks, trying to look tough while he cuts up his vegetables. He’s evaluating him, Locus recognizes. Fishing for information, trying to see who it is that he’s  allowed into his house and to be near his sister.

Locus frowns, and tries to do the math. “… nine years,” he says. Seven, technically, but there were also those years he had been with Felix and Siris, also years stained in blood.

Dex frowns at him. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-eight,” Locus says.

“And you just got out?”

“Two weeks ago.”

“Where’d you get that scar?” Kaikaina asks. “It looks really cool.”

They hold him down, their language strange and scraping to his ears as they rip off his helmet. They’re laughing at him, but they’re also furious at him. He killed three of them before they caught him, this is payback as much as business.

One of them activates a plasma sword and presses it against his face. They’re playing with their food, drawing out his death.

The plasma cuts into his skin, burning as it cuts, and Sam can’t stop the scream of pain they rip from his throat as they cut the two intersecting lines down the center of his face in a mockery of his helmet.

“Sam? Sam!”

Locus shakes himself out of his reverie. He tries to judge how long he’d been quiet and still, lost in the memory. At least it was a quiet one. He can’t imagine Dex would be looking at him in concern if he had lashed out.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I should go.” He gets to his feet, shame burning through him. It was foolish of him to try to pretend to be ordinary, even just for these few moments. He is far too broken to be near children. Siris had the right of it.

“Do you still have your room at the Aloha?” Dex asks.

Sam shakes his head, too tired to lie.

Kai frowns. “It’s way too late to get a room for the night,” she says. “You can’t just leave!” Her eyes are wide and watering, but Locus refuses to fall for this a second time. They were lucky that his mind only wandered. He’s seen the bruises on Felix after his worse episodes. He refuses to hurt these two.

“I’ll be fine,” he says.

Kai turns to Dex immediately. “Dex,” she says urgently, tugging on his sleeve. “Deeeeeex.”

“You should stay,” Dex says abruptly. “We’ll make up the couch for you.”

Locus shakes his head. “I’ve… imposed on you long enough.” He bolts for the door, and neither of them are fast enough to stop him. They’re children, while he is a soldier. A machine, made to kill, and nothing more.

But now he’s not, but he still doesn’t fit, not anywhere, but especially not in that small house with the two of them.

It’s only when he is settling down for the night, on the soft white sands of one of the beaches about a mile from the small house, that he realizes he forgot to leave money.

Grif knows that Sam is still around, even if he doesn’t see him. Someone left groceries on the porch, and it certainly wasn’t Mom. And some days, when Grif is walking too or from work, he feels like somebody is watching him. Kai says the same thing.

He knows some soldiers come home fucked up—Mom’s said some things. And some of her boyfriends were like that. They weren’t the worst of her boyfriends, but some of them were pretty bad. But he doesn’t know what to do about Sam. Kai really likes the guy, and well… Grif guesses that he’s not all that bad. He’s pretty quiet, and anyone who likes Kai and saves her from a car can’t be completely terrible.

Things are tight this week though, so he can’t exactly complain about the groceries. He’s not sure how a guy who’s sleeping at shitty motels or on park benches (he’s asked around; a guy like Sam tends to stick out) can afford groceries like that, but Grif doesn’t ask.

Kai is the one to find him. He looks worse than he did last time they saw him; he’s got a traces of a beard now, and he looks just a little dirtier and less put together. He’s wearing the same clothes, too, which Grif counts as points for his “homeless” theory.

Kai’s already made up the couch for Sam, and Grif doesn’t say anything, just nods at Sam and goes to start dinner.

Sam spends the evening playing cards with Kai again, and the night on the couch. He screams at night, but luckily Kai sleeps right through it.

But when they wake up the next morning, Sam is gone. The couch is neatly made, and there’s signs that he used their shower. There’s money on the counter too—not much, but Grif puts it in the jar anyways, because every penny counts. Kai cries, and Grif resolves that next time he sees Sam, he’ll punch him.

Sam shows up that night though, in new clothes and cleanly shaven, and wordlessly hands Grif a container of takeout from one of the better places in town.

Grif doesn’t know what to make of Sam. He always is gone in the mornings, but he’s always there for dinner. He puts money in the jar, and it’s starting to drive Grif crazy, because this isn’t supposed to have lasted this long. He’s a tourist. He’s supposed to go home.

But Sam doesn’t ever talk about going to the mainland, or even another island, or going back to space. He never takes money out of the jar, just puts it in.

Nobody stays this long; not Dad, not Mom, not any of Mom’s boyfriends. He wants something, clearly, but Grif can’t figure out what it is. He doesn’t look at Kai (or Grif, for that matter) in the weird, creepy way some of Mom’s boyfriends have. He’s never hurt them or stolen anything from the house (Grif’s checked).

It’s too good to be true, and Grif knows this even more surely after the day he catches Sam driving away those kids who had been picking on Kai. Something in Grif has to relax, just slightly at that. Sure, he’s not going to stick around, but at least he knows that Sam won’t let anything happen to Kai.

But Sam isn’t getting anything out of this. There’s nothing in this for him. There’s no reason at all why he would care, let alone stick around.

So one day when Kai’s at a friend’s for a sleepover, and Sam has shown up with a paper bag full of fresh fruit (he works at a green grocers now, Grif’s finally figured this out, that’s where the money and the food are always coming from), Grif snaps.

“What do you want?” Grif demands.

Sam stares at him, confused. “I… I don’t understand.”

“You want something!” Grif says, pointing at him. “You keep… you act like you care but we both know you’re going to take off to do something else, because there’s no way you’re staying here forever!”

Sam looks perplexed. “Do you want me to leave?”

“I—it doesn’t matter!” Grif snaps.

Sam shrugs. “I don’t want anything,” he says, and he sounds the way he does when he talks about the war.

“Great, then when do you leave? Because Kai’s getting attached, do you have any idea how much she’s going to cry when you leave?” It’ll be worse than the last time Mom left, Grif’s sure of it. Kai’s used to Mom leaving by now. Sam has stayed for two months now, and it’s going to break her heart.

“I don’t have anywhere else to go,” Sam says. “I... like it. Here.”

Grif stares at him for a long, long time.

“You’re,” Sam clears his throat. “You’re skipping school.”

“We need the money,” Grif says automatically.

But it’s not true, not anymore. Sam’s paycheck… helps. A lot. Grif could probably afford to not take the hours during the school day anymore.

“You’ll leave soon enough,” he scoffs. “We’ll need the money.”

Sam doesn’t protest, so Grif feels pretty justified.

“You need to go to school,” Sam insists. “School—school is important.”

“It’s not like I’m good at it,” Grif rolls his eyes. He turns around, expecting the conversation to be over. Sam brought hotdogs home the other day, and they’re the kind that Kai can’t stand. That’ll be good enough for the two of them.

“How about a deal?” Sam asks instead. Grif stops up short.

He squints at Sam. “What kind of deal?” A thousand scenarios run through his head, and the bad ones all make Grif freeze up, because Sam is big, and Grif can’t make him leave if they need to get rid of him.

“You don’t skip school as long as I’m here,” Sam says. “When I leave, you can start again.”

That’s... unexpected. But he pauses, thinking about it. It might be nice not to have to be on his feet all day as well as after school. And... he likes school okay. Even if he’s not great at it.

Grif rolls his eyes. “Fine,” he says. “I guess a few weeks of school won’t kill me.”

[jonsalways]

Thoughts on Jonsa 7x1

So I’d like to take a moment to look at GoT 7x1 Jonsa scene!

I’m not gonna talk about all the stuff people already noticed but there are some points I want to look at ‘cuz they are too precious and I don’t think we’re giving enough attention and respect.

1 - We have Jon asking the Umber and Kastark kids to pledge themselves to House Stark once again, and here’s the line: “To serve as OUR bannerman and come to OUR aid whenever called upon” That’s almost the same line Sansa used in Season 6 when she was talking to Lord Glover. But the thing is: Jon now considers himself as a Stark. He uses the family sigil, and uses the word “our” when talking about House Stark. He finally sees himself as part of the family and sees Sansa as a true relative.

2- Sansa talks about Joffrey and Jon is deeply offended for being compared to an autoritary piece of shit responsible for Ned’s death and putting Sansa under so much suffer, he even stops to face her. When he confronts her, she realizes she went too far and hurted him. Sophie acting says “Oh, I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry” so she gives him compliments about being as far from Joffrey as anyone could be, and how he is a good ruler. Sansa was a hostage at King’s Landing for like forever, she saw how bad rulers act, how they really are. If someone in this show has property to say who is a good ruler this person is Sansa Stark. Trust me. And the moment he realizes she’s being honest about the things she said he gives her that 6x10 look again!

3- When they got to the “but” moment he talks to her softly, his face has a smile and we see he’s not offended by what she was trying to say before. We have the “I will protect you” conversation they had in the previous season again and she reminds him he can’t protect her, and we realize he’s still trying to do that!

4- When Jon tries to keep walking and talking about how she was undermining him, is her time to be offended, she stops, grabs his hand and pulls him closer to force him to look at her face and hear what she is seriously saying. This is a moment of such importance to the viewers that there is a camera closing to the grabbing moment and another closing to the look Jon gives to their hands united .

5- When Sansa talks to Littlefinger she never goes and touch him, he is the one that tries to touch her, and if we look back at 6x10 she avoided Baelish’s kiss and touch but allowed Jon’s. That means a lot. There’s another thing: Sansa is always avoiding Littlefinger’s presence, leaving him alone or telling him politely to leave, but she does the opposite with Jon. This is the second time he tries to leave and she does something to make him stay a little longer. At 6x10 she added that “ hey, Jon, a raven came from the Citadel!” line, and now she touched him so he couldn’t leave her again.

6- They stand very close to each other at this moment like no other couple did at 7x1. Cersei and Jaime have a scene right after and they do not touch each other at all. The camera shoots show them far from each other while Sansa and Jon even held hands.

7- When she said the “I love them [father and Robb], I miss them, but they made stupid mistakes and lost their heads for it” , she was actually saying “I love you, I’d miss you and I don’t want you to die. Be careful” but Jon doesn’t understand that way. When he replies to her, she is not as offended as we viewers are with his response, she just looked sad, not because she wants to rule the North with him, but because she knows it’s dangerous to him not to listen to what she is trying to say.

8- I will not talk about how the moment with the maester is similar to the very first Ned and Catelyn’s scene. We all saw that a thousand times, but I’d like to note the maester bowed to HER before leaving. She is the Lady of Winterfell but truth be told this scene actually reminds me when people bowed to Talisa after talking to Robb. The show puts Sansa at the “wife’s place” at tables and now people bow to her like she is his queen.

9- We need to talk about that scene at the battlements of Winterfell too. At 6x10 Jon and Sansa chatted at the same place about his place as a Stark, who should take the Lord’s chamber and other cute stuff. That scene had an “outside of the walls” point of view, like there was a wall between them. Jon surpasses this wall and goes to face her, touch her, say the “we have to trust each other” line and kiss her forehead . At 7x1 the scene has an “inside walls” point of view, not just to show the viewers that winter came and covered the fields but also to show that now they are closer, closer than Jaime and Cersei are in the following scene, there is nothing between them now and they talk looking at each other the whole time.

10- Here’s another precious thing: “We still have the Wall between US and the Night King. There’s nothing between US and Cersei” “There’s a thousand miles between US and Cersei.” Notice how they use US to refer to each other, they don’t mean “between You and Cersei” like they are thinking about his or her safety only, they are thinking about them, they talk like they are a family, almost a couple. They talk about their own safety almost as they don’t think they will ever be apart, like they are going to be always together at Winterfell. This is too much for me.

11- Sansa then reminds him Cersei is a dangerous woman, he shouldn’t be concerned only about the Lannister army but also with the possibility of his murder under her command. If we take a look at the books for a moment, Cersei actually had a plan to send men to the Wall to kill Jon when she received the news he was elected Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, so Sansa is completely right to think Cersei could find a way to have Jon killed now the he’s the King in the North. Kit’s facial expression seems to show a “Okey, You’re right” before saying she almost seems to admire Cersei.

12- And at last we have this sad and almost ashamed look from Sansa before saying how much she had learned from Cersei. She looks away from him almost like she was saying “I don’t want to talk about it”.

We don’t see the ending of this conversation but it seems to me that her lines actually convinced him. Now we need to wait the upcoming episodes to see how they relationship will develop from here. I’m so sad Jon is heading to see Daenerys this season ‘cuz we’re gonna lose all their lovely moments together.