#cuz the rest of them are all amazing to the point they feel kind of untouchable (not morally but ykwim)

[star-of-waterdeep]

all my other f/os have corresponding self inserts, but simon just gets stuck with Actual Me, bc i feel like he’s the only one who’d ever be legitimately attracted to me the way that i am

[envy-of-the-apple]

That what if when ms. moon already has a family but has to leave because of him is so HEARTBREAKING. Imagine moving on from a tramatic situation, meeting the love of your life, having a wonderful kid for all that to just get squashed in a instant. That literally had me about to tear up but imagine her kid was a bit older lets say like 10 (i know the math doesnt add up well with the timeline but its a what if)and then she just has to leave, that alone would greatly negatively impact the kid, just leaving a lasting mark. Maybe the kid would remember gojo’s face and resent him for the rest of their life.

The husband thing is equally as sad because I imagine ms.moon as shes about to leave crying and whispering how much she loves him and that shes so sorry. (Bonus heartbreak points they all breakdown as shes about to leave and she cant even hug or kiss them goodbye because shes being watched). After this incident ms.moon’s pervious family completes spiral down the drain and moon’s mental state goes down the drain with it

In conclusion amazing story but that shit was sad as fuck but I still eat it up with silverware and all

(merging multiple SEM asks cuz i feel so guilty for clogging up ppls dashes lmao)

ughhhh anytime kids are involved it just gets way more depressing, right? It think age 8-10 is like the worst time for this to this to happen because the kid can understand little, but not enough to get the whole picture.

The kid knows that their mom is leaving, but they aren't seeing the wavering tears in Ms.moon's eyes, the shaky hands, as you hug them for the last time. All that they can see is the fancy new car your new lover sits in. The grand ring that sits on your finger. Yeah, your kid will hate gojo for ripping apart your family.

But they'll hate you more, considering you're running off with a man who has more money than their father.

I think the only upside is that gojo might not bat an eye if you send money back to your family, keeping them comfortable. With enough pleading, he might pull a few string to get your kid into a good school. With your indirect help, your kid will have the best education and prosperity. Them resenting you is a pretty small price to pay, right?

in the fic, the case took about three weeks, so it took three weeks for gojo to just snap.

He would definetly try to toy with ms.moon for as long as he can. Despite claiming that he forgave ms.moon, he does carry a tiny bit of resentment. It's kind of a punishment, in that sense.

And honestly the moment he figures out you who are, I doubt you'd have a chance to run anymore. The reason why Ms.moon was able to 'get away' the first time was because gojo was still a teenager, hier of the gojo conglomerate, but still not powerful yet. Now, he has tons of resources available for him. You're not getting away lmao, I think that's why he's so much at ease this time around.

I never really considered the family's response. their reactions is something I'm not really interested in exploring. i don't think they got any characterization other than 'housewife mom' and 'dad who works'. I don't really think ms.moon would even mention gojo's torment to them. It'd be embarrassing, knowing that some kid the same age as you is just lording over your life, right? I did mention that Gojo confronts your family in EKM, but I don't like that addition now, so I'm retconning it. I feel like they'd find out just like everyone else did: From the media. Everyone in your little town knew who the Gojo was, but the fact that their kid is getting married to one of them has so be surprising.

But then again, not something im interested in exploring

If Gojo had managed to find Ms. Moon before, things would certainly have been much different. The gojo now has 'cooled down' and is far less volatile. If they had met again, if they were in their early twenties....things would not be much different from his high school counterpart.

[maimingaffairs]

HII IM DEEPLY AMAZED BY UR WRITINGS CUZ U GOT ME GIGGLING LIKE A SCHOOLGIRL AND KICKING MY LEGS. ANYWAYS!!

I would like to request angst to fluff for Aleksander where they were past lovers but reader was killed just like what happened to Luda. Eventually on the present time (Alina's timeline ig), during the winter fete, Aleksander saw reader's face as Alina was doing her magic showcase ig and Aleksander followed reader outside (maybe for fresh air) and then thats when reader started getting flash backs maybe a headache (DO UR MAGIC HERE LOVE) and maybe when whe wakes up, he's asleep by her side and she just says "Sasha?" in that sweet tone and ALL FLUFF

(SORRY IF THIS WAS A BIT LONG, IM KINDA HAVING AN ENERGY OUTBURST)

hi my anon baby <3 i worked on this for a couple of days. sorry it’s so late!!! i feel as if i’ve seen a couple fics like this and i tried to make it as different as i could while still staying within the margins of your request… i hope it’s okay.

warnings: canon typical violence, character death (kind of?) blood, angst, fluff, all of it. just all of it.

word count: 4.7k

of Wildflowers & Damnation

(aleksander morozova x fem!reader)

-

Some days were easier than others. Just as on the other side of the coin, some days were harder. Inconveniently, today happened to be one of the harder days for Aleksander. He tried to reason with himself often that after nearly five hundred years of living, that he shouldn’t be so affected by loss anymore. 

That didn’t make it any easier, unfortunately. He’d lost so much in his life, that he didn’t mourn so heavily, and then he’d lost you. 

He’d met you nearly two hundred years after the creation of the fold, and to say he loved you would be to say it was only a bit cold in the arctic, which is to say, it was a gross understatement. He loved you more deeply than he ever knew was possible, and perhaps that’s why it was so terribly hard to accept even all these years later, that you just weren’t alive any longer, while he lived on. 

He had tried to bring you back, he really did. Much to his mother’s dismay, for the second time in his life, he resorted to the use of merzost to heal you. But you never woke. 

Aleksander stood silently near his door. It was nearly time for him to find Alina, to join the festivities at the Winter Fete, to show the country’s most influential just how powerful the Sun Saint really was. He knew it was time to go, but his mind wouldn’t rest.  It wouldn’t stop replaying your last day with him. 

-

The two of you walked hand in hand through the forest that was just behind your small home. Aleksander wasn’t normally one for such plain and domestic types of endeavors, but the wildflowers were blooming in the valley at this time of year, and he wanted nothing more but to see you smile at them, as you did every year before that. 

“Do you have a favorite flower, Sasha?” You had asked him softly and looked up at him with a big grin. You better than anyone knew that he wasn’t much of a flower person, but the question was still on your mind as you walked together. 

He thought to himself for a moment as he peered down at your excited face and then he shrugged, “Oh, there’s too many to choose from, my lovely. Perhaps a dandelion.”

“Dandelions are weeds, Aleksander.” You pointed out and he shook his head and nudged your side. 

“They still bloom, do they not?”

You didn’t seem to like this answer, because you simply huffed under your breath and gave his hand a little squeeze, “Okay but I meant a real flower. Not a little yellow weed.” You insisted. 

He thought for a moment longer and then he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to your hairline, “Alright. Poppies.” He finally conceded and you seemed to like this answer much more than the last, because you hummed and sidled up to him sweetly, your head resting against the side of his arm. 

“Poppies. I would’ve taken you for a rose person.” You mused. 

“And why roses?” He asked, curious to hear your response. 

“Because. They’re terribly beautiful, but you wouldn’t dare just grab one recklessly. They’re covered in thorns. You have to be gentle with them, work around the thorns. Then it’s yours to have. Kinda like you. Just gotta work around your thorns.” You replied and then let out a tiny giggle, “At least, that’s what I did. Seemed to work out just fine for me.” 

Your words made his chest feel as if it was flooding with impossible new amounts of affection for you and he stopped the two of you where you walked and he leaned down to delicately wrap both of his arms around your waist. You eagerly wrapped your tiny arms around his shoulders and he moved down a bit more, closer to your level. 

To Aleksander, you were the sweetest thing in the world. Everything from your kind smile to your fiery attitude made him swell with love for you. To love and be loved in return was such a strange concept for him to grasp. Especially when the returned love was given by such a gentle soul such as yourself. He often found himself unworthy of such a love, unworthy of your kindness, your care, your acceptance. You knew of his past transgressions, yet you loved him anyways, always insisting that mistakes get made. Everyone messes up. To the world, he was The Darkling. The Black Heretic. A wicked man with a soul as dark as his eyes. That version of himself even existed in his own mother’s eyes. But to you, he was simply Aleksander. 

He held you even tighter now and he buried his face in your hair for a long time before he slowly pulled away from you and brought his hands up to delicately cup your face. He held your face so gently as if he was convinced it would shatter between his fingers and he watched your eyes, fascinated by you. 

“What a sweet little thing, you are. What did I ever do in this life to have been blessed with such a love?” He asked softly, leaning down to nudge his nose against yours a few times. 

“If I had to guess, it might have had something to do with your sympathy for weeds. I suppose they need love too.” You teased, and he didn’t even bother rolling his eyes at your teasing before he pressed a tender kiss to your lips. You kissed him back and placed your hands on top of his, letting out another little giggle into his mouth. He pulled back and watched you in amusement, a smile spreading across his own face. 

“What could you possibly be laughing at during a moment like this?” He asked and you scrunched your nose up and patted the backs of his hands a few times. 

“Your beard tickled my lip.” You replied gleefully, your eyes meeting his in a mirthful gaze. 

He slowly pulled away from you and took your hand again, pulling you into his side as the two of you started to walk once more, “Shall I cut it then?” He asked and chuckled. 

You practically skipped alongside him as the two of you walked and you shook your head, “No. I think you look handsome. But you might need a haircut soon. You’ve got bangs nearly.” You pointed out and reached up with your free hand to push a strand of hair away from his eyes, “Don’t worry. I can do it for you.” You added and laid your head against the side of his arm once again. 

He laced his fingers in between yours and gave your hand an affectionate squeeze as he led you down along the dirt path, “How have your lessons with my mother been going?” He asked. 

It was your turn to nearly roll your eyes now and you took a quick glance up at Aleksander, “Well. She doesn’t like me much, and I’m still not very good at controlling my fire so… to be continued. Maybe. I don’t know. Perhaps I just don’t want to learn anymore. I have no use for these powers.” You replied and tapped the side of his hand with your pinky finger. 

You were an Inferni, a poor one at that. Normally Aleksander would protest and tell you to embrace your gift but he didn’t this time, resigning to let you speak your mind. If you didn’t want to pursue your abilities, he wouldn’t force you, “I don’t think she dislikes you.” He replied down at you finally. 

“Oh, I think she does. She’s always got a backhanded comment locked and loaded just for me.” You argued with a little sigh. 

Aleksander knew it wasn’t you that she disliked in specific. It was just the fact that his mother disliked the fact that he was selfish enough to let himself love you. She always insisted that he’d ruin you, just like the girl he loved before you. She insisted that he wasn’t meant for you, always telling him to set you free before he inadvertently broke your wings. Deep down, he knew his mother was right. She usually was. But he couldn’t bring himself to ever make you leave. Not now. He was too far in. 

He shook his head a couple of times and sighed, “She’s not exactly inviting. But that’s not to say she dislikes you. Don’t pay her any mind, my love.” He replied and then brought your intertwined hands up to his lips so that he could place a few light kisses to your knuckles.

He lowered your hands back down between the two of you once again and he glanced up over the hill in the distance. You two were nearly to the small valley and he could tell your excitement was growing, because your steps got more hurried and you occasionally would let out giddy squeals and hums. 

A snap of a stick on the path behind you had Aleksander sweeping you in front of him as he turned around to survey the area. The two of you had stopped walking now and he looked around behind both of you, finding nothing. 

“What was that?” You asked quietly and glanced up at your lover, feeling a bit uneasy. 

“I’m not sure, darling.” He replied cautiously and turned back around to glance down at you. 

Your eyes were already fixed up on his face. You didn’t look scared, but you didn’t look like you felt too secure either, and he didn’t blame you. Something had shifted in the forest around you two, there was a strange feeling. You grabbed onto his arm tightly and you gave it a little tug. 

“Sasha, we don’t have to go any farther. We can head back home now.” You whispered, but he shushed you softly and turned back around slowly to check the path behind the pair of you. 

A small snapping sound came again, but this time it was now in front of the two of you. There was a little shuffle and another snap and he felt you yank his arm again.

“Aleksander.” 

He turned around as your grip on his arm loosened and he looked down at your face, which was now drained of color. You wobbled a bit and fell forward onto him, and he swiftly caught you with a shocked exclamation of your name. 

He held you upright and that’s when he saw the arrow that had lodged itself in your back and stuck out through your chest. He wildly looked around and had spotted two men in thick furs darting out from behind a tree. Drüskelle. He had barely a second to move the two of you before they let loose another arrow and he retaliated quickly. 

One of the men let out a yell in their native tongue and Aleksander wasted no time in quickly diving down to the ground with you as another arrow flew. He gently sat you up against one of the small trees on the edge of the path and turned around, and with zero hesitation, finished the two men off easily with The Cut. As they fell to the ground, he looked around for more. When none came, he turned to you and scooped you up into his arms as quickly as he could, not daring to pull the arrow from your chest quite yet. 

“Hey, hey. Y/n. You’re going to be alright.” He insisted. 

But the way your head lolled to the side weakly made him think otherwise. You didn’t respond to him, but you looked up into his eyes, tears beading in the corners of yours. 

“We’re going home. I’m taking you to my mother, we can fix this.” He promised and didn’t wait a single second more before he was dashing off down the path with you hanging all but limply in his arms. He could feel the warmth of your blood seeping through the sleeve of his shirt and he grit his teeth, refusing to let himself panic. You were going to be okay. You had to be. There wasn’t a chance in hell that Aleksander was going to let you go now that he had finally found you after years upon years of being alone. He didn’t notice the tears gathering in his own eyes until they were falling down his cheeks and you let out a distressed sound.

“No, Sasha. Don’t cry. It’ll be okay.” You whispered hoarsely, and the sound of your voice only made it worse.

He ran straight out of the forest and through the field behind your home before he finally ran through the back door. He laid you down on your side atop the round wooden table in the middle of the room and he yelled for his mother, who came shortly after he called. 

“Mother. We need to do something. Drüskelle, in the forest attacked us, and they-“ he started frantically, only to be cut off by the older woman.

“There is nothing you can do, Aleksander.” She said shortly and then shook her head, “We don’t have a healer nearby. We aren’t healers ourselves.”

He looked over at you, and you seemed so much smaller than usual now, curled up on the table with an arrow still protruding from your back, “Mother, there has to be a way. I will not let my lover die.” 

“There is no way. There is no natural way for us to save lives. You know this. Bid her goodbye.” She said sternly. 

His head perked up a bit and he reached out to make sure you were still alive by touching your pulse. 

Weak, but still there. Just barely. 

“But I can. I can do it, I’ve practi-“ 

“You cannot!” She protested and held her hand up to her son, “You will not! You will take whatever time you have left and say goodbye, for it is only the way of life. We see life come and go and we remain. Not even you can change that. I’ll give you space. That is final.” Baghra said sharply and turned on her heel to leave the two of you alone. 

Aleksander was at your side in half a second, and he crouched down to be level with your face. Tears were rolling across your face and your lip trembled fearfully. 

“It doesn’t hurt, Sasha. Don’t worry about me please.” You whispered and he reached out to brush tears from your eyes. 

“I’m going to fix this. Okay? You aren’t going to die today. I swear it.” He promised, but his faith was running thin. He reached out and he grabbed your arm gently and held you in place, “I’m going to remove the arrow, okay? And then we’re going to heal you.”

“You are not a healer, Aleksander. Don’t do this.” You begged softly and he looked down into your eyes again. He pursed his lips and shook his head a few times. 

“I won’t lose you. I won’t walk this earth without you by my side, do you understand?”

“No, Aleksander, no.” You protested, trying your best to sound stern like Baghra had, but your voice faltered and he knew you didn’t have much time left. 

He ignored your protests and grabbed hold of the arrow and quickly pulled it out of your back, and whatever voice you had left was spent on the wail you let out as your blood began to freely spill out over the table. He quickly threw himself over you, only to find you shaking. He looked down at your face to learn that your shaking was from your silent sobs and he frowned deeply. 

He was going to save you. It was going to be alright. 

He closed his eyes and placed his hand over the bleeding hole in your back, wracking his brain for the strength to use the magic so forbidden that had been abused by his ancestor, to heal you. To save you. 

He let out an agonized yell and finally felt the same cold, pricking sensation spread through his veins that had occurred the day he created The Fold. He felt stinging in his fingertips as he pushed out everything he could from his hand into your wound. Into you. 

At long last, the stinging stopped and subsided, and Aleksander realized you’d gone still under his touch. He felt a little splash of relief and he turned you around onto your back, only to find your eyes closed. He felt his face drain of all color and he shakily reached up to feel your pulse against your throat. 

Nothing. 

To say the days following were that of pure anguish was to put it lightly. He’d taken you to the valley of millions and millions wildflowers and laid you to rest there. At least he knew you’d be somewhere you loved. 

For weeks after your death, Baghra was full of warnings and disappointment for him, chastising him for using merzost once more. 

“You don’t know what you’ve done, Aleksander. You may have very well not healed your lover, but you don’t know what you’ve done. This will come back to you one day. You will regret it. There will be punishment.” She warned.

Not that he cared. 

“Let me regret it. Let it haunt me for the rest of my days, woman. It’s not the only ghost that hangs above my head, now.”

-

You didn’t recall much. At all. All you knew is that one day you suddenly did recall, as if it was the beginning of your life. 

Amnesia the doctor called it. You’d likely had a head injury and forgotten things, that’s all. 

Whatever you were before, whatever life you led, it was erased from your mind without a single clue as to what it had been prior. In the last few years that you started recalling, you’d worked as a dress maker in the city of Ketterdam. When one of your clients had graciously invited you to come to Ravka’s Winter Fete with her and her daughter in trade of two elegant gowns for them, you’d accepted her offer immediately. 

So there you stood, in the hallway of the crowded Ravkan palace, eyes traveling the faces of everyone who passed by. The two girls you’d attended with had gone off to greet the royal family, and you’d stayed back, opting to survey the crowd instead. You’d heard word that the Sun Summoner was going to be putting on a display in only a few short moments, and just as the thought crossed your mind, it all began. It started with a whirlwind of activity, and you watched the Grisha throughout the room showcase their abilities skillfully, and the sight invoked a strange feeling deep within your chest. You had the sudden urge to bring your hands together just as they did, feeling as if you could perform alongside them. You fought the urge back and flexed your hands a bit at your sides, shaking off the strange feeling.

Your eyes travelled to the front of the room and they fell upon a girl and a man, standing shoulder to shoulder, both wearing black. You assumed it was the Sun Summoner and who you had heard to be General Kirigan, the fierce Ravkan general who also happened to be Grisha. As the pair began their display of power, you felt your head begin to ache dully, and once the Sun Summoner’s light lit up the entire room, the pain in your head only grew sharper. 

Everyone in the room seemed to be filled with excitement, and as the display was done, the volume seemed to increase tenfold, making you clutch your head between your palms. 

The pair at the front of the room turned around and when you saw The General’s face, you blinked a few times. A thought clawed at the inside of your mind, begging to be let free. But you didn’t know how. You didn’t even know what it was. He seemed to notice you shortly after you noticed him, and you could’ve sworn you saw a look of complete astonishment cross his face as quick as a flash of lightning.  

Suddenly the room seemed to blur out as if in your periphery and you gasped as little flickers of imagery flashed behind your eyes. 

A field of flowers, the darkest eyes you’d ever seen, and fire. You furrowed your brow together and you leaned your hand up against the nearest wall, your chest rapidly rising and falling with short, quick breaths. Disorientation fell upon you and you found yourself stumbling through the crowd of partygoers and out of the room. The bustling hallway was a struggle for you to navigate, but you eventually prevailed and found the door to the courtyard. You all but went falling out the door and you stumbled clumsily until you reached grass and you held your hand to your chest as you stopped running. You felt sick to your stomach and your hands began to feel clammy and you swore that you heard someone calling your name- though you were unsure how you knew the name was yours- because you hadn’t been called by it before. You couldn’t even respond in anyway before your eyes rolled back into your head, and you were collapsing backwards towards the ground. 

-

Aleksander felt insane when he followed you out of the palace. He’d had days where all he could do was think of you, but never once had he seen your face anywhere but his mind. He called after you, but you didn’t seem to notice, and if you did, you didn’t respond. He walked briskly up to you just in time to watch you collapse, and he lunged forward to catch your falling body in his arms awkwardly. The strange angle at which he held you up at made you look so small and fragile, and he hoisted you up into his arms. It couldn’t be you. There was no possible way it could have been. He didn’t dare look down at your face for a few moments, standing there in the courtyard with his jaw set firmly. 

Finally, he did dare to look down, and when he did, he almost found himself collapsing with you. Sure, you were unconscious and your hair had become a bit tousled, but there was no mistaking the face that he saw. It was yours. His y/n. 

He looked around wildly, trying to come up with an explanation for the mere fact that his very dead lover was here. How you were here. He buried you. He reached up with one hand and he brushed the backs of his fingers across your cheeks. He refused to let himself feel relieved or happy or excited. If this was the punishment his mother had promised him years ago, he wouldn’t give in. But he couldn’t just leave you. Not out here, not like this. He stood with you in his arms for a while longer in contemplation before ultimately deciding he’d take you back to his chambers and wait for you to wake. If you woke. Then he’d proceed to ask who you were, to figure out what was happening. 

He carried you off through the night towards the nearly deserted Little Palace, and once inside, he made a beeline for his bedroom. Once he reached the shelter of his room, he closed the door fast and locked it, looking around to make sure no one was inside. He promptly walked you to his bed and laid you out on it, staring down at you. The urge to lay at your side was consuming his every thought and he ground his teeth together, fighting back a round of tears. 

Yours was the face he saw when he fell asleep. Every night. Some dreams were pleasant. You and him in the flowers, or even in bed together, happily. He’d hear your laugh, your hums, your sweet voice… all of it. Some dreams were not so kind, and these were the ones where he relived your last moments over and over again. 

His endless patience had seemed to run out and his will to remain complacent broke. He’d take the pain of having to lose you again if this wasn’t real, he’d be damned all over again to feel the emptiness of your loss if only just a moment of his time could be spent by your side one last time. 

So he kicked off his boots and removed his black decadent kefta, and he slid down into the bed next to you, his eyes not leaving your face once. He reached out across the minimal space he gave between the two of you and he grazed his fingertips across your cheekbones, up into your hair, down the side of your neck and along your jaw. Everywhere. He traced the outline of your lips and he swiped the pad of his thumb across your chin. Not a single thing had differed from his memory. If you’d told him he’d plucked you out from behind his eyes and laid you out in front of him, he would’ve believed it. 

Oh yes, if he was to be damned with the consequences of trying to save you, then he’d take them. He’d take them graciously if it meant one last night at your side. 

-

He was unsure of when he fell asleep, but he didn’t ever realize that he had until he felt hands on his face. His eyes shot open and he expected sunlight to light up his room, but instead it was dark, with only a glimmer of silver light filtering through the window. He frantically looked across from him on his bed and he reached up to push the hands away from his face, but once his eyes focused in the moonlit room, he dropped his hands and found himself lost in your eyes instead. 

Your hands stayed against his cheeks and you seemed to be at a loss for words. He knew the feeling well. It was mutual. 

The state of unconsciousness you had fallen into had been one of unrest. Memories upon memories began to flood your head all at once. Still, you were unaware of how you were alive and how you had come to be unearthed, but you assumed it must have had something to do with the merzost that you so vehemently opposed him using. 

He reached out to touch your face so gently, as if he thought you were only a figment of the moonlight and would disappear underneath his touch. When you didn’t, he let out a sigh, one that sounded terrified and relieved all at the same time. You couldn’t find your voice while you stared at him, your mouth wanting to form a thousand words all at once. 

Until it settled on just one.  

“Sasha?”

To Aleksander, this was the sweetest sound he’d heard in his entire long life, and he couldn’t help the tears that loosed themselves from his eyes. He could only nod in response as he wrapped his arms around your small form and he pulled you against his chest. 

If this was damnation, then he’d embrace it with open arms, and if this was a second chance to save you from the consequences of his past, then he’d do better this time. Whatever the case may be, he wasn’t going to leave this room until he was sure you wouldn’t evaporate into nothing. He laid his hand ever so protectively against the back of your head and he leaned his own head down until his lips touched your hairline. He could’ve whispered a million things to you at that moment, promised you everything, sung you praises and profess his love until he ran out of the breath to do so with, but he’d never been one for that many words all at once. So he leaned down to press his lips against yours, and it said everything he couldn’t all at once. He pulled back slowly and he tipped your head back a bit so that he could gaze down at your face, unchanged by all this time. 

And so he uttered out a promise, one that he intended to keep this time, no matter the cost.

“Yes, my sweet girl. It’s me, and I will never lose you again.” 

[yoitsjay]

Hi hi!! Can you please do one where crosshair and Hunter are both crushing on their Jedi general, who is a total scaredy cat and shy and of course totally oblivious to their feelings. I can only imagine the absolute drama and chaos a love triangle between these two would be, with how competitive they are with each other 😭😭

Oblivious

Pairings: Hunter x gn! Reader x Crosshair

Summary: Crosshair and Hunter start fighting, again, but about you and this time you hear about it. Now not only are they apologizing, buy they're asking you to choose and are now trying to probe who's better... oh boy...

Warnings: NO CLONECEST AT ALL, love triangle, mainly fluff, flirting, sensual touches maybe, reader picks both

Word count: 965

“Eep!”

A loud squeal fell from your lips as several bugs flew towards your face, you swatted them away, but ended up running behind Crosshair, as he was closest to you at that moment. “Hate bugs…” You muttered, hearing the man chuckle as he turned and looked down at you.

“You're a Jedi Master and yet you're scared of a few bugs? I don't get it.” The man huffed, and you rolled your eyes. “I am not scared! I just- get grossed out easily.” You muttered, sticking out your bottom lip as you pouted.

You were still walking as you talked with him, no longer paying attention to your surroundings which in turn made you trip on a rock. You started stumbling forward, and Crosshair was about to catch you, but a pair of muscular arms wrapped around you first, tugging you back onto your feet.

You could tell it was Hunter who had saved you from a broken nose, so you spun around to thank him, a big smile on your face as you leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Thanks hunt.” You muttered, cheeks going red after you realized what you had done.

Another squeak fell from your lips, and you muttered an apology before speed walking away, unknowing that Crosshair and Hunter were having a bit of a glaring contest after you had left.

The rest of the team could tell that both Crosshair and Hunter had feelings for you. Echo, Wrecker, Tech? yeah they all knew. But you? you had no clue.

Every action you did, whether it was just bending over to grab something, or leaning over Hunter’s seat during briefings, every action you made drove Crosshair and Hunter crazy. And they started fighting, though typically away from your earshot.

After you got back to the Marauder, you had decided to relax your nerves with a bit of a shower. When it was done, you were about to exit, until you heard Crosshair and Hunter arguing outside the fresher… about you.

“You have no idea who she’d pick! Besides, I'm the better kisser.” Hunter argues, and you could hear Crosshair roll his eyes from behind the door.

They argued more about some random shit before you finally opened the fresher door, and they both turned to look at you, eyes wide as they stared. “Uh… hey guys…” You muttered, trying to squeeze between them as you tried to sneak back to your bunk.

Obviously there wasn't really a point in sneaking, as they both held your waist and kind of held you between them.

You gulped.

“Well you’ve heard it, we love you, and we want you. So who do you pick?” Crosshair sneered, sliding two fingers under your chin as he forced you to look at him. Your face was beet red, and you glanced away, unable to find words.

“Crosshairs right, you gotta pick.” Hunter murmured in your ear, holding your hand in his as he placed it on his chest. You could feel his racing heart beat, and yet again you gulped, your nerves taking over your body as you chose flight.

You pushed them both away and bolted out of the Marauder, force jumping up into the nearby tall trees to clear your mind.

Cuz holy shit what the fuck.

Not only did they both love you and you had NO idea, but they wanted you to pick? you weren’t even sure if you HAD feelings for them. Hunter was amazing, and so kind to you and he always made sure you were alright when it came to talking to other generals or even other clones. But Crosshair?

Crosshair was so different. He was snarky, rude, and standoffish. For months when you had first joined them he refused to even talk to you, and when you’d give an order he'd scoff and walk away, only doing it when Hunter told him he had too.

So really you had no idea Crosshair even LIKED you to begin with, since he was such an ass. And yet you liked him anyway.

You had no idea what to do…

For weeks after that, Crosshair and Hunter would constantly be one upping each other, showing off their skills, or flirting and using different pickup lines. Every time you'd make up an excuse to leave, or you'd just laugh and walk away.

But this needed to stop.

It was hindering the way you performed on missions for the council, and even they were getting suspicious.

So you mustered up all your courage and you pulled Hunter and Crosshair aside one day, pushing them into the cockpit of the Marauder when no one else was inside it.

“Okay enough you two!” YOu exclaimed softly, crossing your arms over your chest. “You are both making it impossible for me to do anything mission wise! I like you both, alot, but you can’t just expect me to pick. So quit it.” You ordered, raising your voice a little to get your point across…

Which seemed to work when you saw their shocked faces.

They looked at each other, and nodded in a silent agreement before turning to you. “We're sorry for making you feel like that Y/n, I guess we- we really weren’t paying attention to how it was affecting you… so again we’re sorry.” Hunter spoke up, and you smiled, nodding before turning to Crosshair.

“We won’t make you choose, and… we will give you space.” He sighed, but you shook your head. “Oh I've already chosen.” You stated, crossing your arms over your chest as moth mens eyes widened.

“Oh?” Crosshair asked, and you nodded.

“I choose both. So you’ll just have to share with me.” You started, grinning at them before you opened the cockpit doors.

“Back to work! plebs.”

➺

Tag list:

Hunter:

Crosshair:

@nyctophobiart

Tbb:

@moomoog017 @only-my-unexistent-fiances

[danses-with-dogmeat]

I love love love how you write! The little details you add into your reacts are amazing <3 I was hoping to ask if you haven't done so yet, what would the romanced companions say in their own version of the "Hi Honey" holo tape? It could be them making their own tape for any reason or to replace the one the SoSu's spouse made becuase it was destroyed or buried with them, it doesnt matter, just thought that would help the angst/comfort factor 😅 have a good day, love <3

Fallout 4 Companions' Versions of the "Hi, Honey" Tape

Okay, I adore this <3

It's a.... bit more angsty than I meant it to be, but it's all happy and fluffy underneath, so, you know... kinda my forte 😅 And also some of them are... more romanced than others, as you'll see, so just a heads up on that. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

Also, I tried kind of a different format for this one, almost like you're reading the subtitles/script for the holotape, so hopefully the unique format makes this one interesting 😁

Oh, and just a quick TW for mention of suicidal thoughts/actions!

Cait:

"Oi, ya fucking-- Does this damn thing even work?"

*exasperated noise*

"Alright. There, I think that's done it."

*muffled adjusting*

"Okay."

*sigh*

"Hey. Sole... I uh, I don't really know how to tell ya everything I'd like to... Before I go through with this, you know. I'm not sure what's goin te happen, but I wanted you to know one thing before I go inte that machine, since... I don't know, I might not come back out as meself. Or, or even at all."

*deep breath*

"I just, in case somethin' happens, I want ya te know..."

(pause)

"I love ya."

*short chuckle*

"I know, sounds strange comin' from me, I'm sure, but... It's the truth. I do, and I have, for a bit, but... I'm not really sure why it took me this long te tell ya. Maybe cuz I was scared. Scared that I'd scare ya away."

*Huff of breath*

"Me? Scared? I know how it sounds, trust me, but it's true. I was... worried about losin' ya. Cuz, truth is, Sole, yer the first person who actually seems to give a damn what happens te me. You know this, I've told ya, I know, but even me own damn parents didn't give a shite about me. An' the ghoul, well, he only ever considered what I could do for him. Knew how to keep me hooked, to keep makin' him money. But you... I had my doubts, I'll be the first to admit, but... You've looked out fer me better than anyone, and you did from the start, with nothin' to gain by doin' so."

(pause)

"I don't know why ye did it. Almost scared me off, the thought of someone bein kind te me fer no reason at all. Thought you were gonna end up worse than all the rest, because there was no way you were just bein' that nice with nothin' te gain from it. But I was wrong. And I've never been so damn glad te be wrong in me whole life."

(pause)

*Deep breath*

"An' I want ye t'know one more thing... I knew about this machine. I knew about it a bit ago. I could've gone with someone else, could've gone on me own, even. Maybe I wouldn't have made it out alive, but it didn't really matter te me at the time. And neither did gettin' clean. I told you I'd been trying to get sober for awhile, but nothin' was workin', and that wasn't a lie, but... Before you, I didn't really want te get clean. There was just..."

(pause)

"There was no point to it. Get clean fer what? I didn't want to feel anythin'. Well, anythin' but the rush of psycho. Couldn't feel anything if I was off it, I was so damn numb to the whole world... But you... you changed that. Somewhere along the way, when I was with you, I felt... somethin' else. I want te feel that again, but I want te feel it all. No psycho, no nothin'. Just you. And I'm hopin' you feel the same, but if you don't... It doesn't matter too much. I just... I wanted you te know."

(pause)

*huff of air*

"So there. I said what I meant to. You heard it. An' whether or not ye feel the same, I... I just hope it means somethin' to ya."

*click*

Curie:

"My love! Look at what I 'ave found! Or... Listen to it, rather."

*giggling*

"But isn't zhis wonderful? I can now tell you 'ow much I love you! Zhough, I do suppose I say it quite often... Still, what better day zhan zhis? I know zhere are many who no longer observe zhis holiday, but it is our first one together and I wanted to do something special. I thought of many possible zhings to gift you, since I feel as zhough I simply could not give you enough!"

*laughter*

"But zhen... I settled on zhis idea... I want you to listen to zhis recording, any time you are not feeling at your best, when I am not around to help you, or whenever else you feel like it, even when I am in zhe room next to you, you will have zhis at your disposal."

"I just want you to know 'ow much I care for you. You are zhe one who saved me, who made me not feel so alone in zhis new world, who helped me not to be afraid. I was afraid, mon amour, you remember. I was afraid to go out on my own, so you stayed close to my side, I was afraid I could never follow my dreams, zhat I could not become who I am today, afraid I would never be able to be with you, to feel all zhat I do when you are near and beside me. I would not be myself without you, I would still be in zhat 'orrible vault, would still be afraid and alone..."

(pause)

"But I am not, and it is thanks to you. You are... zhe most beautiful person I have ever come into contact with. The kindest, the most loving, zhe gentlest, and you are zhe one I love, when I did not know I was capable of such feeling! You made it so, my lovely Sole, and I could not be more grateful to share all zhese new-- all zhese so very human experiences with you. I love you, vers la lune et retour."

*giggles*

"It is amazing zhat I can say such things and mean zhem! I had heard about love, had read about it, and knew of zhe chemicals and such, but to feel it, to say zhese things, to know why I'm saying zhem, who is making me feel zhem, it is a wonderful feeling, mon cheri/e."

(pause)

"Oh!"

*shuffling paper noises*

"And I almost forgot! Comme c'est drôle de moi... I have a poem to read to you! It is one I read from a novel long ago, I had to dig to find it, to make sure it was correct. I did not understand it zhen, not as much as I do now, but now, it is all zhe more beautiful."

*clears throat*

"Je dédie à tes pleurs, à ton sourire,

Mes plus douces pensées,

Celle que je te dis, celles aussi

Qui demeurent imprécisées

Et trop profondes pour les dire"

"I can translate as well! Do not worry! It just sounds so belle en François. What it means is, zhat I dedicate my sweetest thoughts to both your tears and your smiles, all of my thoughts, zhe ones zhat I say to you, and zhe ones I 'ave no words for, zhat are too imprecise. Even zhose thoughts zhat are so deep zhat you cannot say zhem aloud, even zhose go to you, mon amour. I dedicate so much to you, because you 'ave given me so very much since zhe day you and I met. It does seem rather small in comparison, just zhis little poem, after all you 'ave done, but it is zhe truth. I love you so much, my Sole. 'Appy Valentines day."

"Love, Curie."

Danse:

*clears throat*

"I know I'm not very good at these sort of talks in person, and... I'm honestly not sure it'll be any better through this tape. But I feel like I have to try."

"I'm... Well, let me just preface this by saying that I'm sorry for what happened today. You weren't meant to... Well, let's just say that I should've thrown that tape recording away a long time ago. That same day that I recorded it, even. And if it's any consolation, I never paid the contents of it any further mind after our talk at the Bunker. When I think of it now, I..."

*deep sigh*

"Knowing what I do now, what was to come... I can't believe I would've just... Just ended it."

(pause)

"Everything was so jumbled then. After I found out what I was, I felt so lost. My existence, without the Brotherhood, it felt so... purposeless. The words on that tape... they just helped me get everything off my mind. Helped me feel like there was a way out of all that uncertainty, as rash as it may seem in hindsight."

"Then you appeared below the surface. Even with all my defenses... I don't even know why I put them up, if I was just planning to...

*sigh*

"It's not a day I like to remember."

"You are what made it bearable. Not just that day, not just my... whole self discovery, but everything. Without you, I wouldn't have only been dead, but I would have been lost. Everything I truly believe in, all that I've worked for... I felt like less than nothing when it was all stripped away. Along with my identity. My personhood. But these past couple years... you've built me up again. You've made me into something-- someone I can be proud of. Helped me make the difference I thought could only be achieved through the Brotherhood, and I don't know how I'll ever be able to thank you for all that you've given me."

"My life, my belief in myself, the courage to move on when I felt I had nothing, that I was nothing... But I was wrong. I was always wrong. I never had nothing, not even on my darkest days, when I wished beyond reason that I could crawl out of my own synthetic skin. Even on those days, I still had you."

"The day that you confessed your feelings to me was the first day that I began to question a few of the core beliefs of the Brotherhood. With the overwhelming strength and certainty of my own feelings for you, I wondered how the Brotherhood could ever consider me-- my kind, to be soulless abominations. Every day my feelings of fondness for you grow stronger, and every day I stray away from the belief that I'm nothing but a mere machine. I never could've done that without you."

"Ever since the day I met you, I've felt like... somehow, our fates have been tied to one another. Like I was always meant to know you. And it might be strange, to phrase it that way, to think that some... higher power pulled the strings in such a way to ensure our meeting, our friendship, o-our love, but if it hadn't turned out that way... that tape I made would be in the Brotherhood archives, and I would be..."

*exhale*

"I just hope that my presence in your life has yielded even a fraction of the happiness, security and support that you provide me with. If so, it'll all have been worth it."

"I hope what I said on this tape doesn't make you uncomfortable, I-I know the subject matter is quite upsetting, but if I can offer further consolation, the tape in question no longer exists. I erased it, in favor of this message. I thought it would be... symbolic. The way our love for one another, and my dedication to you has erased the negative feelings I had for myself, that almost drove me to complete ruin. I apologize again for what you heard on that tape, and it pains me to know you felt guilt for not being able to do more after my... self discovery. The truth is, Sole, you were the only thing standing between me and the ending that that tape promised for my life, and I could never find a way to thank you for all that you've done for me."

"I love you, Sole. More than I thought could ever be possible, even before finding out that I was a synth."

(pause)

*clears throat*

"Anyway, that was what I felt I had to say. I know it was long winded, and I... well, I never know quite how to end these conversations, but I suppose it's worth saying it again. Thank you, Sole. For giving me my life back. The rest of it belongs to you."

Deacon:

"Csssshhhhk this is your captain speaking, yeah, we're gonna be traveling at around fifty eight thousand feet in a minute here, so just wanted to tell you to get comfortable, drop those trays, get out those peanuts, oxygen masks, space suits, and--"

*muffled laughter*

"No, but anyway... Hey Sole, it's ah, it's me. You're favorite crimefighting deathbunny, and partner in all things inappropriate. I... just wanted to make this... I know we don't have the same type of job security or workers' compensation from before the big booms, so just y'know, like an insurance policy, especially now that there's all this added paperwork with our little developing relationship status, it just felt important, y'know? Another record to dust off one day. And... I wanted to be sure you could always have a way to hear my lovely voice, my bad jokes, my flawless singing, you know, just in case... I know how much you'd miss it."

*sighs*

"Look, I... I know it hasn't always been easy, everything you've been through, to add all my problems to the pile. The trust issues, the compulsive lying, those pesky little intimacy problems that make things extra fun, and... I could go on, but I'm afraid the tape would run out of space."

"I guess, what I'm trying to say is... Thanks. Sole. You're everything I needed and never deserved or expected. I had this plan, this idea of what the rest of my life would be like, and you just--"

*breaks into laughter*

"You just waltzed right into those catacombs and blew those ideas to smithereens. Shot 'em down with your charm and your selflessness and good looks, and man... I didn't stand a chance. I can't believe you chose me. You coulda had anybody. Even Carrington, if you kept at it, but you chose to love me, even with how... difficult it must've been-- must be..."

"I still don't know why you did it, but I've never been more grateful in my life. You're my partner in crime, my fellow deathbunny, my bestie, and now you're my husband/wife?! ... It's crazy. Crazy awesome, and I... I never thought I'd tread that kind of path again, not with anyone, and I wouldn't have... if it weren't for you."

"Ahh, you. You're just... The best, and I love you. I know I don't say it enough, and when I do, I don't sound serious. But no matter how uncomfy it makes me feel to say it aloud, it's true. I love you, Sole."

(pause)

"But alright, bestie, I've gotta go. I'm about to have the best sleepover of my life, with this awesome person, I'm sure you know them, and I'm really feeling like I'm gonna get lucky. You can't see it, but I just winked at you. Anyways, wish me luck, and I'll... I'll see you in the field."

"Deathbunny out."

Gage:

“Hiya there boss… It’s…”

*under his breath* “I hope this damn thing is even recording.”

*snorts*

 “But, it’s me. Jus’ wanted to say some stuff…"

*sighs*

“Look, it’s tough for me, I’m sure you know it more than most, but, it’s tough for me to reach out like this. I never… Well, you know this too Sole, but, I never done this sorta thing before. With the relationship and the… I don’t know, man, the arguments. Before, well, fights like this usually meant the end of things, but you said that ain’t how it’s supposed to be. We’re supposed to work through this shit, somehow, and so I… I guess I figured I’d start with this.” 

*deep breath*

“I’m sorry. Sole. There, okay? I’m sorry for bein’ an asshole, for not givin’ you enough credit, not remembering that yer new to this whole raider thing, this whole Overboss thing. And that… well, you’ve probably never been with someone like me before. I sure as hell’ve never been with somebody like you, but… What can I say? It’s hard to find folks like you out here anyhow. You’re your own breed, boss. And that’s far from a bad thing. Jus’... Well, you know me. If you’re your own breed, I’m a goddamn mutt. I’m rough around the edges, not used to tryin’ to make things work. I’ve solved a hell of a lot more problems with my knife than I have with my words, but… I wanna… Well, I wanna make things work this time ‘round, boss… Sole… I mean, you know how I feel about ya, and I… I ain’t never had anything like this, and I just don’t know how I got along so long without you, cuz… Well, Sole, cuz you just make everything better.”

(pause)

“I mean… my life’s not worth a whole lot, that ain’t no mystery or nothin’, but when yer in it… It feels like somethin’ worth having. Not like the rest of my life, oh… stumblin’ around looking for scraps of quick fixes that could make me forget how little my life really means, but… having something worth holding onto, worth bein’ around for… that’s what it’s like with you.”

*dry chuckle*

“And to think, I was stupid enough to think that one little argument was worth losing all this over. Worth losing the only thing in my life that really makes it worthwhile. Cuz that’s what you are, baby. That’s what you are to me. Even though I don’t say it a whole lot… It don’t mean that I… That I don’t mean it, you know?”

*sigh*

“I can’t be the easiest to get along with, I’m sure. I’m so damn hard-headed most of the time, and I always act like I know what I’m talking about, which… Well, you know that usually ain’t the truth.”

*chuckles*

“But somehow you got the patience for all this. All my shit. And… I may not always be the sharpest knife in the drawer, or whatever the saying is, but I know what I got with you. I know what you’re worth, baby, and it’s more than I got, and I know you bein’ with me at all is a charity, but… Well dammit, I hope I got some worth to you too, cuz I just… I need you now, Sole. I wanna be worth the headache and the patience, and I wanna work through the fights and learn how to make it up to you. I never had this before… I never felt this way about no one. I don’t wanna lose it. I can’t… lose you. Things jus’, well, they just wouldn’t be the same…” 

*deep sigh*

“I know I’m going ‘round in circles a bit here, but you know apologies ain’t really my strong suit. An’ neither is all this mushy stuff, but I’m trying all right? I’m trying for you. And I’m gonna keep on doing that until you tell me you can’t stand it no more. It’s just the kinda reckless, hard-headed, stubborn fool I am, Sole. Gonna keep telling you how you changed it all for me, how you’re so damn incredible it makes my chest hurt, how I… Well dammit. Guess I’ve gotta say it now, huh? Look, there. You did it boss, you got it out of me. Damn near slipped out before I could even catch it too. Nasty little words, but… It’s never been truer. I love you Sole.”

(pause)

*comical sigh*

“And while we’re at it, might as well say I’m sorry again, too. There. You got both outta me. Got it all. There’s nothing left for you to take, baby, all my cards just out on the table like that and I forgot how to fucking bluff.” 

*soft chuckle*

“Nah, but… I mean it, Sole. I ain’t nothin’ without you. Next time we fight, just pull this shit outta your pocket and I’ll shut right up, I promise. And… If I’m ever not sayin’ all that… All that I should, if I’m being an ass like I do sometimes, just listen to this while I’m off sulkin’ somewhere. Cuz it’s true. It’s all true, and no amount of me bein’ pissy or stubborn is gonna change that... Is gonna change the fact that… Well, dammit, I do, I love you, Sole.”

(pause)

“Greedy bastard, you’ve gotten it outta me twice now, so you should be all caught up for awhile… Just don’t use it against me too often, okay? Don’t abuse this shit, or you definitely ain’t gonna hear it as much, I’ll tell ya that.”

*chuckles*

 “Alright, don’t know when this thing is gonna run outta tape, but it’s bound to be close. I’ll, ah, I’ll see ya soon, baby.”

*click*

Hancock:

"Heya, Sunshine. It's, ah, it's me. I know it hasn't been all that long since we've seen each other, and I know you're busy. Hard being the hero all the time, hard being the best person there is in the Commonwealth, I get it. But I wanted to tell ya, that... I miss you. I miss you when we're not together, from the moment I see you leave through the Goodneighbor gate, I'm already turning to tell you how much I'm gonna miss you, before I realize that you're gone. That's how bad it is, sweetheart, I-I talk to you even when you're not here."

*chuckles*

"Maybe it's cuz I'm a little nuts, or something, I don't know. Either way though, when I'm alone like this, jus'... thinking about you, I wish I had a way to hear that pretty voice o' yours. So, I thought we could make somethin' like this. Just a reminder, that I'm thinkin' about ya, I'm wishin' you were here, even though I know it's important that you're away."

*sighs*

"Still doesn't change that I want you back here by my side. Or to be out there with you. Kickin' ass. Making a difference. Watchin' you in action, if you know what I mean, heh. Yeah."

(pause)

"Damn this hurts. I get it. I do. I know you have to be out there. I know I can't go everywhere with you all the time, an' I don't mean to make you feel bad, baby, not at all. Jus' want you to know. Know how much it affects me when you're not here."

*sniffles*

*forced chuckle*

"Fahrenheit even notices. Says I'm no fun when you're not around anymore. She's had to drag me outta bed a few times this week... Yeah."

*shaky breath*

"Sorry 'bout this, Sunshine. Sorry if it doesn't make much sense. Brain's kinda foggy right now. I don't mean to make ya feel bad, you know? Jus'... just wanted you to know."

(pause)

"Shit, already said that, huh? Damn, it's just, it's true. I miss you, I love you, baby, and I want you with me all the time."

*muffled* "Oh Jesus. What are you doing?"

"Nothin,' Fare, go on."

*Fahrenheit* "Who are you talking to?"

"Sole. Now go on. Not done yet."

*Fahrenheit* "Sole? Hancock, Sole's not--"

"I know. Leaving a message for 'em. When they are here."

*sigh*

*door closing*

"Jesus. See? Goin' crazy over here, with her hoverin' over me. Need you, baby."

"Now... what was I sayin'?"

*laughter*

"Sorry it's so all over the place. This is what you do to me."

*a breath*

"There's just one thing I'm gonna ask from you, baby. You can go, I know you've gotta sometimes, just... come back. Alright, Sunshine? Come back to me. Do what you gotta do, but just know, now, that I've got you. You're part of the package. The coat, the hat, my whole look, the talk, my title, everything that makes me, me, now you're in that. I can't--"

*sniffles*

"I can't be without ya. Not for good, ya hear? So all I gotta know, is that you're gonna come back to me. Just... Try and think about that when you're out there on your own. Don't take the risk if you don't have to. You're good, baby. The most selfless person I ever met, and I love that about you, but... don't make the sacrifice, okay? I know I'm bein' selfish, but I ain't a saint like you, so I'd say it's pretty on-brand."

*soft chuckle*

"Just don't... Jus' come back to me. That's all I'm saying. It's all I need, okay, baby? Just need you..."

*sigh*

"Think I should probably let you go now, huh? So you can get back to bein' a badass, an' all that. Just one more thing though, before you set this tape aside... I love you, Sole. Just need you to know that, if you haven't listened to anything else on this tape, just know that. I love you, and... I'll see you soon."

MacCready:

"Geeze I hope this thing works..."

*fiddling noises*

"How do you even know if it's recording? Is that...? Hmm."

(pause)

"Okay. Well, here goes nothing."

*Clears throat*

"Hey, Sole. I, ah, I hope this works, because I've got a few things I wanted to... um, say. Wow, geeze, really off to a good start here, huh? I just hope this dang thing is even recording."

*chuckle*

"But if it is... Well, I just wanted to say... thanks."

*soft sigh*

"Truth is, I wouldn't even be doing this if it weren't for you. Maybe one day, yeah, it was always the plan to go back to Duncan, to be with him, but... I never thought I'd be bringing him back to a family. It was... one of the reasons I think I was putting it off. I mean, what do I have to offer? As a dad I-I'm doing my best, but... Is it enough? Will he be lonely with just me? Can I look after him as well as I want to, as well as he deserves? Is he going to be happy, with just me? And maybe he was, and I worried for nothing, but... With you, the decision was so much easier. And..."

*deep breath*

"Well, without your help, I... I might not even have been able to ask those questions. Duncan might not have... You know."

(pause)

"But you helped me. Even when you barely even knew me."

*laughter*

"I didn't think there was anyone like you out there, who would just help me, and not expect anything in return, I didn't think I'd ever find someone out there worthwhile. I mean, after the Gunners, well, they made it hard to see the good in the world, and even when I met you, I know I was... Well, I was a bit of an ass, huh?"

*chuckles*

"But that didn't seem to phase you. No... I don't think anything I could've done would have scared you away for good, once you saw how badly I needed you."

"And that's why I love you so much, Sole. You put other people before you, and you don't expect a damn thing in return, and it's so... Gosh, it's so weird that you do that, I've never met anyone like that, and I've never met anyone like you, and I didn't think, honestly... I never thought I'd be able to fall for someone again, after everything, but... I never saw you coming. And I mean... I'm a sniper. So I've got good eyes, you know."

*breaks into laughter*

"Sorry for that one. Sort of. But I can see that face, without you even being here, I can see that amused but... disappointed look you give me when I make those bad jokes. Those 'dad jokes' as you call them."

*more chuckling*

"I love you so much, baby. I didn't think I'd ever be able to say those words again. To say those words and-and mean them, but I can. And... I know you felt the same way, about loving again, after everything you've lost, but... I'm glad you found me. In that dingy old underground bar, where I almost got my butt whooped by those Gunner clowns, where I was spending all my hard-earned caps trying to drown out my problems... You pulled me out of that, and probably saved my life... No, you did save it, cuz without you, if I'd lost Duncan too, I just... Yeah, I wouldn't have been able to go on much longer if I didn't have him. If I didn't have you."

*sniffs*

"But he's going to be..."

*laughs*

"Just so excited to meet you, I mean, I've told you about him, he's just so adventurous and playful, and even when he couldn't talk at all, he loved meeting new people, and he's- god, he's gonna love you. And I'm gonna have my work cut out for me, cuz, I mean... you think I'm cute? Just wait, I mean, I'm never gonna see you again, you're just gonna want to run off with him and leave me behind, I mean-- his eyes, Sole, they're so blue, and his little cheeks, and gosh, there's nothing I love more than him... than you, too, and the thought of you two together? Heck, I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself, I'm not going to be able to handle it all. To handle... for the first time in so long, being actually... happy. Being part of a family again..."

*exhale*

"You know... I think you know that it... It makes me nervous. To be so happy. To have so much to lose, but... I know that you know what that's like. And I just- I just can't wait for us all to be a part of it. No matter how scary it is, or how strange it'll feel to have it again, to have a family, but have it be different, but... I'm so glad it's with you. And I just... I can't wait to see you, baby. Can't wait for you to see him."

*a breath*

"Just promise me... promise me you won't... leave."

*sniffs*

"...That you won't run off with Duncan and leave me behind. I promise, there's enough of him for both of us i-if we ration, you know?"

*teary laughter*

"We can share him, just... Just stay safe, for me, Sole, okay? I don't want-- I can't lose... I just... can't do this alone."

*deep breath*

"But, ah, anyway, I'll see you soon, okay Sole? I'll see you when I-- when we get back. I love you, and the next time we're together... we'll be a proper family."

Nick:

"Hey there, Sole. It's ah, it's your Nick here. Just wanted to make somethin' for ya, to help get you through these next few... days, maybe. I know this isn't gonna be easy, but I want you to know, I'm proud of you. You did it. You made it where no one thought you ever could, and hopefully, it pays off."

*low sigh*

"God, I hope it does. If there's anyone out there who deserves it, it's you. But we both know it doesn't always work that way..."

*exhale*

"No matter what happens in there though, I'm here for you. Always, alright? I don't mean that lightly, Sole. I've helped you come this far... even when it really didn't seem like you needed my help."

*chuckle*

"I mean it was you who saved me first, right?"

*more laughter*

*small sigh*

"Anyway, guess what I'm really saying here, Sole, is that... I want it to go right. I want you to find your boy, I want you, more than anything, to be happy. You've been through so much, more than anyone should have to go through, and I want you to be able to rest, to have the family you wanted, that you deserve, or, part of that family, at least. You're one of the best damn people I've met in all my years, and no matter how this all goes, I'll be by your side to help you face it."

(pause)

"You know... I'm not really sure why you picked me, if I'm honest, Sole. I'm just a rusty old synth, but... I'm a rusty old synth who's... in love with you. Who wants, more than most anything, for you to just be happy. And if I can have some part in making that happen, well, then I guess I shouldn't really question it, huh? But who am I kidding? I'm a detective, it's in my nature to question unlikely things."

*small chuckle*

"Well, guess I've rambled on here quite a bit, but I wanted you to have something. For when you're in there, so you remember that you're not alone. You've got good friends out here, so many people who care about you, who are rootin' for ya. Me, most of all. No matter what happens, we're all proud of how far you've come. No one even thought this would be possible, but since the day I met you, I've been realizing that the word 'impossible' really isn't in your vocabulary, huh? Who would've thought some pre-war vaulty would get as far as you did? Well, you did, and you really showed anyone who thought differently. It's one of the, oh, couple dozen or so things I love about you, darling. You always show those that need showing, always right the wrongs around you, even when some would argue it ain't your business. But you show those folks too, don't ya?"

*chuckles*

"You're just a whole lotta something, there, Sole. I never met anyone like ya, and there's no one else I could think of who could get through everything you've survived. You'll get through this too, I know it. And... I don't know, maybe I'm just losin' a few screws or something, but I believe you're gonna find your boy in there... But no matter what happens in the Institute, just know you got people out here waitin' for ya. Wishin' ya the best. Wishin' for ya to make it back home to us. We all love ya, Sole. And me? I love ya most of all."

"Yours, Nick."

Piper:

"Come on, come onnnn."

*Nat speaking indiscernably*

"That did it? You think?"

*Nat* "Yes."

"Oh. Okay. Geesh, this is why I just wanted to write a letter or something, but Nat said I should... cuz of the tape that you lost, and what it meant to you, and hearing my voice and-- Geeze, already rambling. So unlike me, huh?"

*laughter*

"Uh, anyways, um... Hey. Blue."

*more laughter*

"Who let me do this? This is awful. I wanna just talk straight to you, you know? See that cute little face of yours, that embarrassed smile with the way your eyes crinkle. The face you're probably making right now. Eh? Did I getcha? Are you making that face? Bet you are."

*giggling*

"I guess I know you pretty well by now, huh? Four years, Blue. Four! I don't know how I've put up with you all that time, but also, I... I don't really know what I would've done without you. That day we met... I think back on it all the time. How perfect everything had to be for us to meet like that, to get that great first impression. It always makes me laugh, the way we still give Danny a hard time about it, blaming him whenever we have those silly little arguments, just so we can't blame each other. I wonder if other couples do that? If they have a sort of scapegoat for their silly little..."

(pause)

"Okay, yeah, getting off topic. The reason I made this, well, this tape recording, that I wanted to be a note, that I probably could've just said straight to your face, was so I could just say... thanks. I know I tell you a lot how much you mean to me, but, I also think you always need to hear it. You've been through so much, lived through multiple lifetimes... you really were-- and are, the story of the century, Blue. You're incredible, and strong, and goofy, and absolutely adorable, if I do say so myself."

*giggles*

"Ahem, anyways, um... Where was I?... Oh! Yeah, you're..."

*quick breath*

"You're a great leader, and you could do anything you set your mind to, I mean really, once you've lived over two hundred years, learned how to fight giant monster lizards, how to cure super mutants, travel through someone's brain, and even teleport, I think the sky is hardly the limit."

*more soft laughter*

"Yeah... I knew I'd get just a little off topic, but when it all comes down to it, there's really only one thing you need to know, Blue."

"I love you. And I'm so grateful to have you in my life and as my partner in everything, and though these past few years have been like... the best of my life, I think the future holds a lot for us. Keep being strong, keep being you, and I'll be right here, cheering you on, loving you. Like I have from the start."

(pause)

"Oh, and Nat'll be here too. Rolling her eyes. Scrunching her face when we kiss in front of her and pretending to barf, but... she'll be loving you too. Won't you, sis?"

*Noncommittal noise*

"See? She agrees. Love ya, Blue. See you soon."

(pause)

*whispered* "Which one do I press to stop it? Which one? Oh. Oh, okay, I see--"

*click*

Preston:

"Sole? Hey. It's Preston."

*light chuckle*

"But you could probably guess that, huh? Yeah, well, I just wanted to say a few things. So you have them, so we do, for later, and everything... I'm just... Where to even start with you?"

*a breath*

"You're just... so amazing. You have been, since the day I met you, and every day since. You've taken everything the Commonwealth throws at you, and you've turned it into something beautiful. Something we can help grow, help to make this world a better place. And... you've given me hope."

*light laughter*

"It sounds so simplified when I put it like that, but it's not."

*soft sigh*

"I had no hope, before I met you. It was gone, and I just felt... hollow, but now I see all of the amazing possibilities for the world, for you and me, and the Minutemen. I never would've made it this far without you, and what we're doing now? This big adventure we're taking together? I know... I know you've been there before. That you... had a family before, and I know the way it turned out, and I can't imagine how difficult it is to look past that, and to try again. But... I want you to know I'm here for you. I always will be, just like you were there for me, when I needed you most."

"I want this for us, and you're... God, Sole, you're just so strong to want this too, so brave, and selfless, and-- and you just see the possibilities in life and you go for them, and I love that about you."

"Even just saying all this, it has me smiling from ear to ear. Just thinking about you does that to me, babe. I couldn't tell you the last time I smiled like this before I met you. I don't think I even could, to tell you the truth, but now... I mean, my cheeks hurt. Just thinking about seeing you after this mission, thinking about our talk, about us... settling down... Yeah, it's gonna be tough. Like you said, it's hard to get me to stay in one place, but you like to wander a whole lot too, you know."

*laughing*

"But I don't think I've been more ready, more excited for anything in my life. I love you so much, I almost can't believe it sometimes, but then I see you, and I... Well, I can believe it, because you're just that good. That perfect, that kind and loving, and selfless, and I just can't believe that out of all the other people in this world, I was lucky enough to meet you, and somehow, you wanted to be with me too."

(pause)

"I think I might've told you this already. At least once, but just in case, I'm gonna tell you again... Sole. I loved you from the moment I saw you. I... I couldn't believe it."

*laughter*

"I thought it was crazy, thought I lost my mind or something, but it was true. As soon as you came into my life, I was ready to pledge mine to you. I-I was in love. And as unbelievable as it seemed at the time, so soon after meeting you, that's never changed. And I'm betting that it never will."

"I love you, Sole. So much, and I can't wait to see you back here, and I can't wait to make that pledge all over again, can't wait to start our family, and... And god, I'm so excited to see you, I can't even sit still, I just--"

*muffled voice*

"What? Now?"

*sound of confirmation*

"Already? But I thought--"

*Annoyed sound getting further away*

"No, hold on, I'm coming!"

"Sturges says you're here."

"You're... you're home. You're home early..."

*disbelieving laughter*

"I'm gonna go and see you. Now. Right now, I've gotta--"

*muffled rustling noise*

"I'm gonna go. Sort of. I love you Sole, see you soon!"

X6-88:

"Sole... Ma'am/Sir. This is X6-88. I..."

*small sigh*

"I would like to extend my condolences to you. Your son... I wish you could have known him as I did. As so many of us did, as you never had the chance to. It is unfortunate, but... What I said, before, when I told you that I believe in you... It was not a lie, sir/ma'am. I do believe, fully, that you are meant to take his place, that you will do incredible things for The Institute."

"To be honest, I'm not sure why I felt the urge to record this message for you, but... Perhaps it's because I feel... that you should be able to hear this, to listen to this tape if ever you feel... inadequate, or... alone. You are neither, sir/ma'am, I assure you."

(pause)

"And I also... I know what it's like. To feel that way."

"Perfection is something that's required in every unit that is created to be a courser. It's something hardwired into us, and so is our aptitude for solitude, and yet... Either there is great fault with my programming, or you were enough to bypass all of it altogether. I've never felt less... Well, perhaps not less perfect, but I've never felt... more..."

*quietly*

"Human, than when I'm with you."

"It is not by my own conscious decision, but all of my defenses seem to lower when you are at my side. I've spoken so outwardly with you, I've... laughed, which is something I never knew I was capable of doing. I've come to despise being alone completely. Or... perhaps not alone, but more... without you. It makes my chest feel tight, and my thoughts wander to your safety whenever I'm not by your side. I'm not... I'm not quite sure why I feel so differently about you than I do anyone else I've met, why you elicit these reactions and thoughts, but I do know that they are enough for me to believe you are... exceptional."

*soft exhale*

"There is no one more capable, or better suited to leading us. No one who has had the influence over me that you do. Not Ayo, not Father, not even the... infuriatingly endearing young Shaun."

*short laugh*

"None of them... and yet you, from the beginning, have surprised me. Your prowess in combat, your amusing commentary, your strange empathy and searing wit... It all took me by surprise. Which isn't easy, I'll have you know. I'm a courser after all."

*muted chuckle*

(pause)

"I'm a courser... And yet, you've always treated me like an... an equal. Not a machine, or a weapon, not something to fear or to order around without regard for my own preferences, my own... conscience. It's something I never thought that I would find to be a virtue. Not something that's ever mattered to me, and yet, now... Now anyone who's not you, everyone here who disregards me the way they always have... It tries my patience."

(pause)

"I blame you, for that, sir/ma'am. But also I'm... Thankful to you. I'm... glad I've been able to accompany you in your travels, that I've been able to guide you in your new time in this world, I feel privileged that I've been able to witness your transformation, that I've gotten to know you, after all this time, and I... I want you to know that I'm here for you. Now, as you grieve the loss of your son, and in the future, as you take on your new responsibilities as the leader of The Institute. I will be here, by your side. To protect you, to help you, to amuse you, even, if that's what you require from me, since I often seem to do so without realizing it."

*soft exhale*

"I want the best for you, Sole. I want you to feel safe, I want you to be... happy. It's not something I'm used to... wanting these things for another, but as always, you are the exception. If you need anything from me, if you want anything, I will be here. For you, Sole."

"Sincerely, X6."

[aching-tummies]

Corsets

Been seeing a lot about corsets used in this kink and it just so happens that corset-belts have been taking my friend-group by storm. Totally unplanned, but I managed to live out some of the corset-scenarios I've seen floating around.

I got off work early today, so I had plans to rush home, change, and then go out with a friend. They had to help an elderly family member with some appointment-stuff, but timing and efficiency made it most optimal for me to tag along and wait for them while maybe guarding belongings or whatever. The plan was for me to go home, get changed, get picked up, and once the appointment stuff was done we'd drop off the family member back to their house before heading out together. It was a great plan…but I found out while waiting that I'd forgotten to factor something in. Breakfast happened prior to 9AM, work took me until close to 4, and I was in a waiting room guarding coats and bags while my friend and their family member dealt with their business close to 6PM.

When I changed, I opted to wear a stretchy corset-belt style accessory 'cuz I was wearing a baggy blouse and wanted to take the waist in just a little. Also, corset stuff is kind of a new addition in my closet 'cuz friends and myself are only now getting in on the craze and I have so few opportunities to go out--so I wanted to wear something nice instead of my work-clothes. The thing was made of a really wide, elastic-y band with a firmer, harder bit in the front and on the back. Almost like strapping armour on or something.

I was in the waiting room of the unfamiliar building, alone and reading a book, when I realized something. My stomach was growling. There was this constant 'buzzing' I'd been feeling for a while and as I sat there I realized what it was: I was hungry. The corset was applying enough pressure to stiffle everything, but it also intensified the rumbles I could feel…like it was transmuting loudness for feel. It felt amazing. Due to the pressure of the corset and the elastic, I didn't feel too many intense cramps, just the rumbling of my empty stomach demanding food. I didn't even need to rub it or anything 'cuz it felt like the corset was kind of doing all of that for me.

The errand wrapped up without too much fuss and we saw the relative safely home before going out to try and hunt down dinner. After ordering, we were waiting for the food to come to our table when a thought struck me: I'm still in the corset. It's not tight or anything and it looks totally bomb right now and the inaudible rumbles feel amazing…but…what happens during and after the meal? There was a lace-up section right in the middle up front and I was terrified it'd stretch open or something if I ate too much or whatever…so I was trying to pace myself and not over-eat to avoid the embarrassment of it showing on the corset. At the same time, I was fighting the urge to just keep eating because by that point it'd been going on 10 hours since my last meal…and all I had for breakfast was a cheese bun. I paced myself as best I could by taking frequent gulps of steaming hot tea throughout the dinner. We went to a Chinese restaurant so there was basically bottomless tea from a tea pot served alongside various dishes.

After the dinner, as we were walking back to the car, I noticed the state of my corset. The lace-up front was still where it was, no noticeable strain (likely went to the elastic)…but the belt kept on riding up. I'd started the meal with the band basically touching my hips because I had pulled it down that far. At the end of the meal, the belt kept on riding up no matter how much I tried to tug it back down to rest just above my hips.

I'm writing this after having just gotten home. One of the first things I did upon getting home was to take off the corset belt. As soon as it left my body, my stomach let out the loudest, wettest gurgle I've heard from it in recent memory. It honestly felt like everything had suddenly shifted with a wet 'blorp' or something. Like, the belt wasn't super tight on me even after the meal…but I guess the elastic waist-band thingy did enough to have an effect. Once the belt was off, it was like everything inside of me shifted. Like a dam had burst or something.

I'm still quite bloated from dinner, thanks to all that tea, but there's definitely a lot less pressure than when I had the belt on.

[the1975attheirverybest]

To/for all fanfic readers and writers, with lots of love ❤️:

Hey friends 💗 so, as many of you already know, a lot of fans (many of them fanfic writers) have been leaving tumblr lately and our community has been affected by a lot of negativity and stress for the compounding effects of multiple reasons. Though this is by no means the ONLY reason, fanfic writers have recently dealt with a lot of undue hate, unnecessary drama, and not enough appreciation.

Writers don’t only write for validation. HOWEVER, the experience and practice of writing comes with a lot of feelings of inadequacy and imposter syndrome. Moreover, writing is primarily a mode of connection. Al of art is. People who write, paint, make music, build stuff…we all do so as ways to express ourselves and connect with others. And getting to share what you write at the end of the writing process adds a layer of meaning to what you do that wouldn’t otherwise exist if you just saved it in a little folder somewhere on your device. So, when writers feel more stress and drama than appreciation, support, or any sign that the connection they reached out for has been made, it naturally makes us question what we do.

It pains me (and I know so may of my mutuals share this sentiment) to see so many talented and beautiful souls leave the fandom space because the culture of community and support that used to be here is no longer inclusive of everyone. It seems, these days, every time I log on, I’m seeing more and more mutuals saying that they’re going to leave, take a long break, or stop posting. I don’t know about you all, but I know I speak both, as a reader, and a writer, when I say that other people leaving is not good for them, for me, or for anyone who loves this fandom and this community.

What can we do about this?

Writers:

Hello my babies ❤️ I love you all. I see you all.

PLEASE OH PLEASE KEEP WRITING.

You’re doing amazing. You are the glue that holds this community together. You make art. Inspire conversations. Stir other people’s imaginations.

Art produces art. I started posting on here because I read the writing of other talented people on here that MADE ME want to start doing it.

Whether you write little blurbs, take request, writer multi-chapter, long, thousand + word fics, or just concepts; whether you write smut, fluff, angst….whatever it is that you do, you are valid. Important. Needed. Necessary.

When the inevitable “hiatus” occurs or even in between shows….who do you think this fandom depends on for keeping the energy alive? Writers.

Writing can be a lonely and self-loathing experience. We need each other. Reach out to other writers. Lift them up. Support them.

Share your work with one another. Discuss. Fangirl. Celebrate yourselves and each other. No, no, no ,no!! I heard that. I heard that sneaky voice in the back of your head telling you that you don’t have the right to call yourself a writer or to celebrate cuz you’re not even that good. FUCK THAT SHIT. YES YOU DO. YES YOU ARE.

Readers

Y’all are so so so special. ❤️ yes we write to entertain ourselves. Yes we do it cuz it’s fun. But when I tell you that there is no greater joy to me than reading y’all’s thoughts in the tags when you reblog, or seeing your comments or asks….literally means more to me than anything.

Do NOT let anyone make you feel bad or guilty about enjoying fanfiction.

If you like a fic, engage with it. Like, comment, reblog, reach out to the writer and let them know that you liked it.

Bonus points if you let them know WHAT you liked about it. I promise you, you’ll have that talented and slutty and sweet mf kicking screaming twirling their hair and smiling for the rest of the day if you tell them you enjoyed what they wrote.

You are never bothering us. We never get tired of your kindness. It’s never repetitive. It’s never meaningless. Any time that you say something, your comment will pop into our head when we next question whether or keep going or not.

Sooooo….what do we do about this?

I encourage you, whether you’re a new writer or a writer with a platform, please don’t stop because some childish killjoys with inferiority complexes wanna take your shine away. Post your work. Enjoy the unique pleasures of making art outside of the structures of capitalist consumption. Nobody is paying you for this. Nobody is estimating the value of your worth and trying to market your labor. Do you know how rare that is???

Writers support writers. Lift each other up. Share each others work. Give each other feedback. Remind each other of each others talent when you see someone starting to doubt themselves or haters getting under their skin.

Readers: like, COMMENT, FUCKIN REBLOG. it takes an extra second. It’s worth more than you know. Do it. It’s the least you can do for someone who has poured their heart and soul into something and delivered it to you on a silver platter.

Writers, readers, shitposters, fans a like: look out for one another. Take care of each other. Have each others backs. If you see a hateful comment, if you see someone trying to gate-keep, shame, or alienate anyone for any reason, CALL. THEM. OUT. Actions have consequences. If you’re so cowardly as to take yiu hate from one platform to another, you don’t have the write to make people feel like shit and ruin their hobby without consequences. You’ll be called on to answer for your bullshit.

There is no hierarchy within the fandom. You don’t get to tell someone how matty will feel about them as a fan and you don’t get to judge the way that someone participates in this fandom.

This month, a lot of your favorite authors will be posting October/ fall/ Halloween themed fics because of this. I think it’s the perfect time to revisit the way that we do reader and writer appreciation around here. I encourage you all to engage with fanfiction more personally and help make this fandom safe for everyone.

[fbfh]

But what if Francis got his gf pregnant to babytrap her? Cuz he doesn’t want her to leave him.

AAAUGH. the noise I just made was inhuman. thank you so much for this one anon fr fr. (reader and francis are both aged up to 18+ for smut)

no bc it's when Lois finds him fucking you on the kitchen counter that he first gets the idea. the boys had barely gone to sleep when Francis absolutely jumped your bones. you thought it was going to be another one of his usual impromptu makeout sessions paired with flowery ramblings about how incredible you are, how you shine brighter than the north star, how you're the most amazing girl he's ever met, and you're not even a girl, you're an angel. which yeah it did start out like that, then one thing lead to another and his hand was down your pants. next thing you know he’s kissing your neck and he has you pinned beneath you the way he likes and he's telling you he loves you while he hits that spot inside you over and over. you're millimeters away from cumming when the front door closes. Francis doesn't stop. he keeps going and going until he hears Lois behind him.

"Francis!" He finally realizes she's there, and looks up in a panic. "Are you kidding me?! What's the one thing - the one thing I told you when this started?" she demands rhetorically, gesturing at you in reference to when you started sitting for them.

"Don't fuck the babysitter!" Lois finishes. You scramble away from each other and you begin to apologize. All the rage drops from her face as she turns to you.

"Oh, I'm not mad at you, sweetie." She turns back to Francis. "YOU, on the other hand..." She gives him the lecture of a lifetime. It feels like it lasts forever, but eventually, she's said her peace and they watch you pull yourself together and grab your stuff so you can go home. She had a feeling this was going to happen, that Francis would end up falling for whoever she hired. between that and how hard it is to keep a sitter, you already lowkey have her approval. she could see this coming from a mile away, she just didn't think it'd be so soon. she meets you at the front door and hands you your cash for the night. before you can sputter out more apologies, she cuts you off.

"Really, I'm not mad at you. This isn't your fault." You relax a little. "At this point, we should just get him neutered, make it a lot easier on everyone..." You laugh and she sends you on your way. She turns back to Francis. He's ready to get yelled at again, but she just looks at him. She's quiet. This is almost worse. She's quiet when she does talk, but he can tell she means business.

"If you break that girl's heart, I break your neck. She's good for you, Francis, don't mess this up." He looks relieved. "And one more thing. Don't get her pregnant."

he blinks, then laughs.

"I'm not going to get her pregnant."

They both go to bed shortly after that. His brothers all pretend to be asleep even though they heard everything. They can press him for details in the morning. In spite of his best efforts, Francis can't sleep. Not even when he drowns his pillow case with the bottle of body spray he got in the same scent you use. Get you pregnant. He's not going to get you pregnant. He could, of course. In theory. But why would he? So he can see a little bump grow on your tummy where you're carrying his child? So he can see you all cute and pregnant and dependant on him for nine whole months? So you can raise a precious little baby that's half him and half you and be bound together irreversibly for the rest of your lives?? Huh. That doesn't sound so bad, actually. And you'd look cute pregnant. God you'd look cute pregnant. He lays awake, thinking about it so late into the night. When he finally does fall asleep, he dreams about it. It's only for a few seconds, but he can see you clear as day with your sweet smile and pretty eyes all round with his baby, your baby, and when he wakes up his mind is more than made up. He kind of has to now, right? He absolutely does. All it would take is a few holes poked in a condom and boom, dream come true - a dream life where you're tied to him forever and ever. You're coming over later this week, and he makes a mental note to make sure he knows where a safety pin is before then.

[random111sposts]

CASEY JONES OC IN MUTANT MAYHEM

OK, so I finished watching Mutant Mayhem WAY BEFORE and my favorite character is of course Leo

And I was like "Hey Casey Jones isn't in the movie" so I made an OC named Casey

And Casey would be this character that really loves sports especially hockey and stuff like that

And the thing is Casey actually just showed up because they were hospitalized for a long time (Their teacher keeps nagging about how they should rest) because even though they love sports they are physically weak

They’ve been trying to improve on their physical state by exercising more and eating more

But because of something that has to do with their genetics, they get hospitalized a lot so they have to stop pushing themselves and they have to be careful

Casey is also best friends with a girl named Karai (The class president)

(And yes, this Karai is also secretly the daughter of the Shredder and is trying to infiltrate the school to defeat the turtles thus her getting President role, but she ends up getting really attached to Casey because she has never had a friend before, and obviously Casey knows nothing about the Shredder)

Casey and Karai are best friends in a sense where they are kind of dependent on each other, especially Karai who gets so dependent on Casey to the point where she gets jealous and really insecure and even lashes out on Casey when she sees Casey interacting or having other friends

And Casey knows that this is an unhealthy friendship, but Casey still with her because they don't really have any other friends

They only have one other friend who is a guy (no name yet but he's the leader of the hockey team) but he's the person that would tell Casey “Hey Casey, you are being mistreated by Karai. This is not healthy like bro she shouldn't be jealous constantly like come on this is not OK”

Casey would go on and say “yeah, I know, but I don't really have anyone else”

And then when Casey meets up with Leo and the other turtle brothers - when they officially enroll in the school

Casey initially meets them thanks to April

April doesn’t know Casey that much aside from the fact that their BFF is Karai and that Casey is in the hockey team and gets hospitalized a lot

And of course Casey is a fucking geek and would get along with the turtles

Donnie cuz anime

Mikey cuz comedy and improv

Raph cuz trolling

But the person that Casey ends up being interested in the most is Leo, mostly because despite the fact that Casey has a personality like a jock, not an asshole but more like “I'm gonna have fun and all that stuff”

Casey actually really admires people that try their best to help people and try their best to treat the situation seriously, kind of like a leader. Leader doesn't have to be like super strict and stuff as long as they are reliable

Casey seeing Leo trying his best to be reliable and help others despite his shortcomings inspires Casey

As the story progressive some more and more Casey will be curious about Leo and of course Casey would know that Leo has a crush in April

So Casey is like “All right, I'll help you. I'll help you with April. I'll help you ask her out in dates I'll help you with your confidence and blah blah blah”

And this is because Casey genuinely wants to help Leo like they genuinely genuinely want to have Leo succeed and have Leo be happy

But then later on, Casey ends up developing feelings for Leo so it ends up going from “Hey bro” to “Oh shit, I am actually in love with you”

So Casey ends up confessing to Leo SPECIFICALLY so Leo could REJECT Casey

Basically this

“Hey I have a crush on you but I know you like April so I just want you to know that you are amazing and I have a crush on you and I wanna help you because I want you to be happy and you could rely on me. You don't have to like me back. I know you don't like me back, but I wanna help you as much as I can”

And Leo doesn’t know how to react properly, but he still tries to help as much as he can

[simcardiac-arrested]

can i ask some stuff aboutyour ocs you mightve already said/shown at some point on the askblog . thank you in advance either wayyy

how does NS even "know" to blame NWB for his suffering? how well does he remember the conflux fuckening?

it seems like FTA has seen NS at their happiest post-trauma, which is. sad. why does he hate them?

does Wayback intentionally self-isolate from the rest of his group, cuz it seems like at very least WT would try and humor him, and CD wouldn't care about his productivity.

WAIT IS CD IN THAT ONE ARTIST COMIC WITH NS PRE-VIRUS CD? REAL? actually do their groupmates feel like.. upset about the change in *her*? ok sorry i know this is so many asks are not the best way to do this but i am runnin g away

hi ! totally fine. probably have revealed some of this stuff already but i have the memory of a dust particle so idgaf we Will talk about this once more

1. i think sep remembers that it was wayback’s ‘fault’ because well, that’s Licherally how it all started. like the reason they went through all of this at all was cuz they had to take wayback’s workload as well. i think waves would often talk about how sep needs to be Better than that useless green bitch. but mainly i think that everytime sep would be forced to overwork themself they would also see wayback just doing nothing and having fun and whatever and they’d be Reminded. re: how well does sep remember the conflux fuckening … i will be honest it’s tricky to explain and i feel like anytime i do it 1. completely changes 2. doesn’t make 100% total sense. but also i think that’s ok ^_^ i don’t need it to make total sense i just need u guys to get the gist of it. because like … well memory problems and/or loss in Human brains already kind of works weirdly. and with sep he is both biological and mechanical and literally One Big Superbrain; so basically i’ve always imagined that while his memories and files can just be erased with no consequences like how it would usually happen to a normal computer, i think the biological part of him would always Know to some degree and be aware. i think the best way i’ve ever explained it is that it’s like walking into a mall in the middle of a weekend and seeing it empty. it just feels off, like something is missing, like there should be People there, because it’s 2pm on sunday and everyone fucking loves malls. but there’s no one. you can Tell something is wrong and something is missing but you can never fully Understand, just follow your deja vu and gut feelings. i hope that mostly makes sense!!

2. first of all, fates is just a really reserved and negative person and a Professional Hater, so she can find reasons to hate almost anyone for almost anything. it comes naturally to her. the surface reasons for hating sep would be that he is generally annoying and can be condescending even while helping fates. she just doesn’t really like him as a person, she thinks he Sucks. but the deeper reasons … well. let’s just say maybe fates and wayback have more parallels than u might think (said by a guy who barely draws attention to these parallels (I’M SORRY WE JUST HAVENT GOTTEN TO THAT PART YET !!! UEAHGHH) (completely unrelated. Hi skiddles hi steven)))

3. nope, wayback only self-isolates when he’s Going Thru Shit, which i understand is like 100% of the time but you know what i mean — the thing with his local group is that he’s an Enigma to them. they do not understand him and like a good half of them think he’s just annoying (ris, fta, sep(???)). also to be fair wayback is just not super interested in all the iterator business so he barely checks the local group (even if he dislikes being lonely). and while wt does try to humor him most of the time they are also Quite Old and do not really get what the fuck he is on about 80% of the time. also they honestly just have bigger things to worry about. now with cd it’s a different deal because she and wayback would make amazing buddies, it’s just that she’s actually a really big fan of his weirdass music and therefore is way too shy to ever actually talk to him. also she thinks if she does become friends with him then the whole group will hate her because they all seem to dislike wayback to some degree. she whines to weaving about this often and they just go No one would dislike u man … but she doesn’t believe them. she’s quite peculiar if i do say so

4. yesss cd used to be sep’s artist buddy! and uhmm. to be honest i don’t think most of the group knew cd that well before (ris and soar are not huge fans of interacting and son isn’t either) and/or just don’t really gaf about what happened (fta and ris once more). so yeah don’t even worry about it. i mean i’m sure Someone is upset about it . don’t know really. Who said that. must’ve been the wind

[imogenleewriter]

I would have waited for it to be over to rr the whole thing, write a rant simultaneously and then send but lmfao the ne chapter needs to be ranted about.

(I'm only 2 words in)

Not Louis being smarter than Harry lmao.

Yeah, Louis it's LITERALLY the only explanation my brothah stop lying

'symptoms' BAHAHAHAHA

Not Louis being SCIENCE and Harry being completely inexperienced on falling in LOVE LMFAO

Noooooo Louis knows what those feelings are cuz everytime he triggered then he also felt them himself 🥲🤏

✨Love ✨

Not harry's symptoms being his literal FEELINGS FFS

Nooooo Louis only has a theory. (I need Zayn to somehow find out about this debacle and repeat it at their wedding or to their children (whichever option Harry hates more and Louis is less wary of))

Yeah Louis you're definitely, DEFINITELY misinterpreting this YUP YEAH sounds about right

(side note:- idk how you even ever manage to put so much work into something you do for free and get so much stupid comments for but I will ALWAYS be SOOOO GRATEFUL 🥲 like these are the highlights of my shitty days I can't believe you do it for free TYSM TYSM THANK YOU SO MUCH 💗💗💗)

(also:- a massive, massive thank you to everyone who supports you and helps you because- just- just- LOOK how amazing these are I literally can't rn-)

Knowing for sure that Harry isn't sick, I do kind of understand why Louis is hesitant to assume Harry's just in love with him because imagine your crush is casually dying in your arms out of a heart attack or something and you are just like "dw, bestie, your heart is fully functional, you just have feelings ❤️"

Ok so rn I am at the place where Louis is thinking about how Harry can totally have feelings for him but still not want a relationship and just- *sigh* don't you just HATE it when a character who is clearly miscommunicating still make sense in their monologue based on what their arc and personality is? *sigh again*

It's so funny that the tables have COMPLETELY turned this time around now HARRY is an oblivious idiot but LOUIS KNOWS!!!!

(I love how subtle this shift is btw because I'm not really sure why but in my brain Louis' characterization seemed like he knows his problems and would just rather be in blissful denial about it, yk? But Harry always seemed like a person who would look at others worst emotions when directed at himself but forgive the other person and not himself)

Looking at Louis's inner monologue rn is so funny because he is just like "omg I cracked a case"

Help-this is getting too long for an ask but basically my point is that if I have been procrastinating this ask for ages and I am still stressing over the semantics in it then you being stressed over the complete masterpiece literature you create that I and so many other people are lucky enough to find then IS MORE THAN REASONABLE!!!!

So THANK YOU

I'll just read the rest by myself sorry 😐 I'll add it to the inevitable rant I'll send in your dms whenever I can complete it lmao my life is a fucking mess with me somehow ending up with fucking BOB CUT rn in this economy but I'll send it I PROMISE

Hahaha I love all the comments I get I promiseeeeeeeeee!

Well 99% of them. The other ones I whine about in a discord group to the point they made me my own sticker

Thanks @enchantedlandcoffee

No, but it's honestly a sticker in a group with like 80 people and I love thinking about what the people who don't know me (because the majority of the time I only go in there to complain) think when they open the group stickers and see that one.

ANYWAYYYYYYY

I appreciated all your commentary a lot! I love it when people understand the characters and why they do things even if they don't agree with what they do.

Sorry about the bob-cut, not that I have anything against bob cuts but it sounds like it was not what you wanted.

A few years ago I went to a salon and asked for my hair to be just above my shoulders. The hairdresser was clearly in the middle of something, like maybe a break-up because she was like... close to tears and kept using the phone and stuff.

Anyway my hair but was at the nape of my neck, like if it was any shorter she would have had to use a razor. Without me even complaining- because I just can't do it- the manager gave me a discount. Like I literally didn't say a word about it and she gave me a discount. That's how bad it was.

As soon as I walked out I burst into tears and cried non-stop for at least two days. I literally put on social media if anyone sees me not to talk about the haircut or I'll start crying. It was sooooo bad.

Anyway lol, thank you!!

[stormblessed95]

Hi Storm, it's the once upon a time Jihope anon.

I wanted to express my condolences to you and anyone who knew your friend. all I can say is time eventually helps but me saying that will be no consolation now. Make sure you rest when you feel able and talk whenever it feels like it will help, and for all the other times when your mind's too active to rest and you feel too spent to talk or write or whatever, know that even some strangers on the internet are reaching out to give your shoulder a squeeze.

I'd been not around cuz had nothing to say except a long string of 'hey did you know that I love Jihope and Jikook and BTS from here to infinity and beyond?' and yes that's nice but takes the saccharine to a new level lol

Adding to that I've been finding some parts of fandom life exhausting lately while keeping in mind that no one forces me or anyone to be in this fandom and I could in theory step away at any time, it's real helpful!

So much to be excited and so proud of the amazing men we're all here for lately. Jin in Argentina, wootteo on instagram, JK's performance legit left me in tears of pride. Indigo and Namjoonie's performance in front of just a few army will be beautiful and it's wholly him.

What I love about them all is the authenticity. They can't reveal all about themselves, we should never expect them to, they already give so much but 7 different people just can't all maintain the levels of persona it would have taken them all to maintain completely different versions of them for all the years they've been around. There are sides we see less of naturally and we may even completely misunderstand or rather not misunderstand but if you ask 20 different armys to describe any given situation and what it said to them of them and you would probably get 20 different responses - it's normal.

What was my point? That everything about each promotion round so far has been similar in some aspects but uniquely them with the type of interview and makes me so excited for the rest.

Bittersweet moments to come soon for sure with Jin, and the same again for each of them as they leave.  As emotions got the better of me again watching Jin's recent videos, am keeping in mind emotions are all good whatever the circumstance. And just the way a person can show the capacity they have to love however that is (crying/laughing/streaming/voting/dreaming of particular subunits soon or in 2025/26/tbc) , to show empathy and grace to those around us is something to aspire and something they demonstrate to us so readily.   Things too many around here and elsewhere seem incapable of understanding.  Some people will never learn no matter how hard and patiently we try i think.

For someone who had nothing to say I sure wrote an essay saying not much of use too, a rare talent, yike.

-squeezes your shoulder, sends you a hug-

Thank you for all your kind words my sunshine anon. 💜💜💜

[writing-plurals]

Amazing that I found your account! I've been wondering about this thing.

For the past four years I've been working on and off on this book

In the book everyone has some sort of thing that kind of hampers them in the human world, but helps them in their world- kind of like how in Percy Jackson, a lot of demigods have dyslexia and adhd

These hampering things are different for almost everyone and they're often related to a power or ability that you have. A person who has telekinesis may "hear voices" and person who can prophesize things may have an ungodly horrible sleep schedule

One character in particular just blacks out

The idea with her was basically that she has this "side" thar whenever it senses she's in danger, shows up and whoops ass.

This version of her is clearly not her doing the things and then immediately forgetting she'd done them. Her friends make comments about this version of her acting very different, when she isn't in control of her body, she makes comments as to what it feels like. She counts how long she's there for, then, as if nothings happened, she's whipped back into reality

Now with this character, in the beginning, I really didn't want her to be a system. I'm not sure how I convinced myself she wasn't, but now that I've began to understand my own system, understand what's happening, it's pretty obvious she's a system. The only problem is, no matter how much she really hates her mom, she isn't traumatized. Not by her mom or anything else, it's literally a point in the story that all of her childhood was her parents keeping her safe from bad things. There's not really any room for truama

Especially nothing serious enough and that would occur at a young enough age for her to develop did or osdd

Now don't get me wrong, I support systems formed outside of truama, but the last thing I want is for the first book that I've ever written that wasn't a picture book to be a catalyst of a bunch of discourse, I also feel there aren't many clear representatives of did or osdd in the media, and even less that are actually good or accurate

Personally, as someone who identifies with endo system (despite beginning to wonder if undiagnosed osdd is a possibility) I genuinely just think it's only fair that the disordered people are tended to first, then, once I feel they've been represented, I can then chose to represent the non disordered

So my question to you is what you think I should do?

Should I continue with this character not being a system and just this being the magic of that world that causes the weird split

Or should I go back into her backstory and find somewhere to fit the truama needed to make this character representative

(And I just realized this but she's the only character I have really that isn't that representative of anything else the rest of the main cast

Mixed (black and white) + Bisexual + Adhd

Mixed (Asian and white) + FtM + MLM/demisexual + depression

A literal robot + nonbinary + panromantic + has traits similar to autism but I wouldn't call it autistic cause it's a robot

Mixed (black and asian) + agender + schizophrenia

They're all mixed bc they're all mixed with the things I'm mixed with shhh 😔

But like this character

White + heterosexual + Cisgender + literally nothing else interesting about her other than that blackout-different-person thingy

So yeah, theres also that

Hmmm, think of representation like a kinda pie being made for a holiday meal. Just cuz you made a pumpkin pie (endogenic system rep), doesn't mean other ppl can't go out and get what they need for apple or banana cream pie. There's plenty of space for both kinds of stories to exist. The same way just cuz tv has few long running lesbian shows doesn't stop gay ones being made.

Endogenic systems' stories deserve to be told too, and it's okay to wanna tell it with what you have set up. It's not being insensitive to represent one marginalized group over another.

As for other headmates you mentioned, I'm a little too white to help with that, so maybe our followers and other mods can help with that bit!

-Mod Tick Tock

[kiwibubbles5]

Painful Story Time (Unus Annus)

So. I have more strict parents, and I wasn't allowed free reign on the internet and YouTube until... Maybe around the start of high school? So like 2018-ish. I was super busy with school and depression and anxiety lol, so even once I was allowed to watch YouTube, it took me a while to get into it. My brother loved DanTDM so he was one of the main channels I watched. I found LaurenZside and Let's Game It Out, too. And... That was about all I had the brainspace for. I did not go looking for other content. I did not watch recommended videos. I didn't have time to be curious enough to check out new things.

My brother watched a very few Markiplier videos. Showed me Markiplier Makes: Pie. Showed the family a couple Heist paths. I watched them for my brother. I couldn't fathom trying to get into a new channel myself. I heard little whispers of unus annus. Saw an unusual number of black and white spiral profile pics. Heard some boys at school chanting "UNUS ANNUS UNUS ANNUS."

And, look, in truth, I know it wouldn't have really worked. With everything that happened?! The FIRST video was COOKING WITH SEX TOYS. And there was...... just... so much nudity. My parents would have freaked out. I wasn't into that kind of humor at that point.

But looking back now. Knowing. Being able to remember those little whispers. Knowing that I'd seen a couple videos. It just... it hurts to know how close I was. Close to having been there. Having been a part of this beautiful amazing thing, having this thing to share with the rest of the community. Knowing the ins and outs of what happened. Having seen all the videos. I was just... so painfully close.

And now it's too late. I subbed to Mark toward the beginning of 2022. I was a over a year too late. I see fanart, fan videos, compilations. Sometimes it just hits me. I can't say it hurts more than those of you who experienced it, but it hurts in a different, special kinda way. And I cry. I haven't watched the vids Mark and Ethan posted yesterday yet. I will. I know I'll cry. I was so close and now it's so far. So unreachable. Cuz, like, I know there's archives. I could watch them all. But I won't. I couldn't. And if I did, I'd feel awful. It'd feel wrong. I can never go back.

So... I guess for me, Unus Annus taught me to be curious. To investigate. And, to not write off things just because they're mainstream. Cuz even when I knew my brother was watching some Markiplier, and I got most of my YouTube recommendations from him lol, I also knew Mark was popular. And I didn't wanna go check something out and get into it just because it was popular. But what I sorta ended up doing was avoiding something just because it was popular. Never really checking it out for myself. Until it was too late to be a part of this exclusive thing. So, yeah. Unus Annus is affecting even people who can only see the remains, the clips, the ghost. 🥲 Memento mori.

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°

Hey also side note. Something I've been anxiously afraid of being lowkey judged for just because of the weight of ua and the fact I wasn't really there and all but I must confess. I'd seen tons of people making their own unus annus outfits and merch and such, but I am not artistically talented in those ways. So I turned to Etsy~

I wanted something to hold onto, to support and to have and just - even though I wasn't there. Even though it isn't official merch.

It makes my heart feel kinda sparkly

I wear it all the time except at work cuz my boomer manager would yell at me for wearing a hat

[sitpwgs]

Hi. I'm sorry I haven't replied but I wanted to give a quick review on the show and wish you a fantastic trip of seeing great shows! I meant to reply before you left but this will probably be short and don't worry about replying. I hope it's going well so far! The concert was amazing! I think it might have been my favorite show I've been to of theirs and I've seen them about 6 times. I think this was because being in the pit was kind of a fun and different experience with a lot of energy and fans loving the band as much as I do. At one point they were in the back of the pit and we got really close..they even walked right by us at one point getting to the other stage and I lost my mind and started laughing and almost crying in shock so that was really cool. I love the staging and effects..lots of pyro and flames. They tried to include fans in the pit for the last song which was something new. It reminded me a bit of the eras tour cuz they sort of went by eras almost and had a really good setlist..I think they played like almost 40 songs or something. That's also probably why it was my favorite cuz it had a bit of everything. It was really fun and I can't believe it's over! I totally understand everything you said about the stage door and how crazy fans are so I guess it makes sense if you don't want to. I know some of the Outsiders fans are crazy and apparently someone actually followed one of the actors home before. Btw did you try the Stay Gold cookie there? Probably not since you didn't see the show but I recognize it cuz I saw some of the cast was there earlier in the week. But anyway I hope you enjoy the rest of your trip and tell me all of the other cool things that you did! Thanks for the recommendations for tropes too. I admit Gossip Girl is not anything close to what I meant for the last one..I meant it more in a this will never work we are doomed sort of way similar to Aladdin, Newsies or Moulin Rouge, kinda the Outsiders too lol. I do see a bit with Normal People though and it would be hard to come up with a book like that. Also I only watched the first two seasons but Dan and Blair just make no sense to me haha. Like they really feel forced and he doesn't like anything about her or who she really is. I get some of the criticisms of her and Chuck but at least they have the chemistry and similar qualities like the scheming. Honestly Dan makes sense with no one knowing the big spoiler but I do like him and Serena more I guess. I realized with couples and tropes I usually like couples that are similar to each other. Anyway Idk if I will ever finish the whole show though and maybe it makes more sense in the show but idk. I hope you are enjoying Interview with the vampire..I definitely see a lot of gifs on here. I do have Seven Year Slip on my list though but have been so behind on reading lately. Maybe I will try to read something today. Also I just found out about Rachel Lynn Solomon's new book so I guess I'm excited for that although it includes fake dating and marriage, a trope I'm not used to. I've also been listening to Short and Sweet. What do you think about it and what are your favorites? At first I wasn't impressed but it's grown on me now and still has a few songs I really love. I think I just expected a bit more overall but it's fun with some catchy songs. I hope you're having an amazing time!!! 🩷

hi friend!!! i had the best time on my trip! so sorry this is so late + shorter than normal, i'm replying on my phone (which i normally don't do) 🤍 i definitely want to hear more about your concert — what were your favorite songs they sang? were you surprised by anything?

i did not, but i did see it on one of the days i was there! i don't think they sell it every day? i got a peanut butter cup and a funfetti and then realized very quickly that both are way too sweet for my taste :( funfetti was already very sweet to me back in like 2017-2019 but having it on this trip really made me go: oh this is Very Sweet.

ugh no you have to watch all of gossip girl (at least up till the end of season 5) for the full dan/blair experience. they're everything to me. no other relationship on that show comes even remotely CLOSE to them. serenate maybe. i did like serena & nate back in the day! i just finished watching the second episode of interview with a vampire so by the end of the year i'll probably have finished it haha. but i am enjoying it!

i really like short n sweet! it's also grown on me, it's very catchy but i think it took a second for me to solidify my favorites (juno, taste, coincidence). what are your favorites? 🤍

[1d1195]

It’s nice to be noticed and missed! That so sweet of you. Always make me feel welcomed like a long lost relative when I pop in. ❤️

I absolutely understand about the engagement between readers and the stories, I think as a reading community we could stand to show you guys the writers more love, praise and engagement because these amazing stories and worlds you guys conjure are really great. And help as entertainment as well as just something nice to look forward to once or twice a week. But for you Sam, I think you’ve got to take yourself out of the equation here. If I’m understanding you correctly it seems that you’re attaching the engagement a post or story will have with you worth and that’s just not it babes. If one of your stories “fails” (and I use that term very very lightly) it’s honestly just timing. You’ve got a Taylor Swift wide catalog of stories both new and old masterlists and your writing, character and world building has only gotten better as each new piece comes out. You do every thing right, every single time. If it’s not working out it’s just the timing. I’d be willing to put money on it. You yourself are amazing. Your blog is such a safe place for people. And yeah maybe it’s the stories that brought them here in the first place but we—at least me—stay cuz you’re awesome, kind and generous. No matter what’s going on in life, I know that I can count on at least one story either on Monday or Thursday depending and having that to look forward to is such a small and kind gift that you give to people like me.

Who you are and what you’ve got to give is absolutely good enough.

I hope all of that made sense I just wrote and wrote. As for myself I’m doing okay. Told my dad he can’t come to my wedding and he sent me a goodbye and good riddance letter. I think he thought it was going to make me feel guilty or something but I’m so immune to his games now it’s hilarious. But other than that. I’m hanging in there. Trying to take care of myself and be happy, whatever that looks like. And doing some of my own writing (little short love stories) but I’m pretty rusty so it’s not quite what I want but I’m liking rebuilding that muscle.

I hope something I said in all that is helpful. If you take anything away: you’re perfect as it, everything else is just noise. -🐱

You're so logical, I wish I could. You would think as a math person I would be MORE logical but I just get all wrapped up in being emotional I get all flustered.

Everything you said made perfect sense. I'm extremely grateful to you and how kind you are. I am definitely not too kind to myself almost ever so I get very emotional when people are kind to me. Also, I'm a pretty big push over in the real world so people just expect me to be kind and do things for them so it's really overwhelming that you just pointed out like REALLY nice things about me and are making me feel valuable even if I don't see it myself. I'm glad I created a safe place here, that's what I really want more than anything 💕

That's extremely sad about your dad but I'm so proud of you for doing that. Your wedding is about you and you deserve it to be all you want and more. I'm so happy for you 💕

ALSO ALSO YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY I wanted to ask about your engagement/wedding plans but I didn't know if that was still a plan and I think I would have jumped into traffic if I asked and you weren't getting married still.

If you feel comfortable, I would love to hear more details about your wedding! Color, theme, location (nothing specific--beach, barn, backyard, church, etc). I love to hear wedding plans! If my bf ever proposes we will NOT be having a wedding (we are poor-poor) so I love to live vicariously through others and their plans 😍 ALSO I'm so excited to hear you're writing! Writing short little love stories was how I got my start here too so I'm sure it won't be long till you're writing Harry stuff with the rest of us 😉

Thank you for your sweet message. I adore you 💕

xoxo