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#cw: identity politics
steve-needs-a-hug · 2 months
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It's really, really interesting to see how certain people are talking about a biracial mixed-race woman now that she may be about to become the US president.
At the orange felon's rally, Michaelah Montgomery (a Black woman and conservative activist) defended his comments claiming that Kamala Harris had always used to be an Indian woman, and has suddenly "turned Black" now. Montgomery went even further to say that "the same Black people who are mad at Trump for being confused about her race, ethnicity, nationality, whatever, are seemingly forgetting that while you're touting her as a savior for black people, she identifies as an Asian woman, [...] She chose her side, and it wasn't ours."
Someone I know on IG messaged me saying Harris is not Black. I responded that her father is Jamaican, and they responded by stating that doesn't make her Black, and sending screenshots of news headlines touting Harris as the first Indian-American US senator.
As a mixed-race person myself this rhetoric sounds incredibly bizarre. In what world does Harris being the first Indian-American senator and then VP make her not Black anymore? She is Black and she is Indian. It's not complicated.
Although I'm sure there's variety in how mixed-race people conceptualize their identity, I know that even though I'm genetically half-Slavic and half-West Asian, I have never identified as half-anything. I am a Pole and I am a Persian. When I'm singing along to disco polo with my Polish friends, I'm Polish. When I'm on holiday with family eating joojeh kabob, I'm Persian. I've studied identity for the past 3 years of graduate school, and I know that the identity that defines you most in the moment is determined by the context you currently exist in. It's not complicated.
This divisive rhetoric has reached a new level of insane, and I hope to hear more people speak out about it.
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brightsuzaku · 7 months
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it feels like everything is on fire at tumblr today
we're about 2 or 3 days into a second global strike for palestine (and also sudan, yemen, and congo!) and i feel like it's hard to capture even a feeling of hope amidst the continuing death, and with these ceasefires that never happen (but we cannot lose sight of hope! please.)
the freaking harmful "Kids Online Safety Act" (KOSA) is being threatened to pass
TERFs are in anonymous asks and are apparently also harassing trans people (and apparently particularly harassing transmasc folks), and transmisogyny is here as usual too, what with tumblr banning and censoring and trans women and transfeminine people
like dang, i knew the dang TERFs were here haunting this place (and I block'em on sight), but this whole kerfuffle with the CEO showing his whole ass about a hyperbolic "threat" and the continued censoring and removal of regular schmegular selfies like
woof, what an awful wee- IT'S ONLY TUESDAY????
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maskspurpose · 1 year
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i feel like any sort of "discourse" post should come with like a pop-up window on like what the context it was made in is because the last days i saw a LOT of posts about like whether or not detransitioners are valid or not and no context on whether or not this was spurred on by a big(-ish) tumblr account within a certain circle revealing herself to be deep into detrans radfem bullshit
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cannabisexual · 1 year
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actually we do need to be discussing sexuality and gender identity with children because how else would they possibly know or be able to tell if they're being targeted and abused by those who would seek to hurt them?
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boonskicks · 2 years
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me: I don't feel same coming out to everyone I meet, yes it does still suck to be assumed as cis by relatives and strangers, but safety is crucial. I don't want to get forcibly outed in certain situations, but I also do still want my gender identity to be recognized and not dismissed by people within the community.
people: oh that's completely understandable
me, later: I'm bisexual and dating a cis bi man, I'm really happy because he fully respects and acknowledges my gender identit-
people: you're basically a cishet couple, shut up, your struggles aren't comparable
me: ............ wow thanks for misgendering me i guess
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miwakags · 2 years
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gender performance w people you’re out to but who don’t see u as queer is so wacky & headhurty
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samaspic31 · 1 year
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Why do cis people think their opinion on trans topics matters so much. It costs nothing to shut the fuck up no one even asked you
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startrekmemequeen · 10 months
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CW: Politics, homophobia
I live in the part of Ukraine which is currently occupied by R*ssia. Right now i don't have any means to leave this territory. Today r*ssian government enacted a new law. According to it, LGBT+ is a "forbidden extremist organization" (i know it sounds ridiculous but it's what the law says) and any "LGBT activity" is now a crime. Even having a pride pin on your backpack can cost you at least 6 years in prison.
I can't post about this on any other social media because it would reveal my identity which would put me in danger. I'm posting this for awareness. I'm posting this so people from other countries would know what sick shit is happening here. I'm not asking anybody to do anything. I don't know what can be done to stop this. I don't think anything can be done at this point. R*ssia is going down. They've criminalized LGBT+, they're about to criminalize abortions. They've started a fucking WAR, they're killing my people. They're oppressing their own citizens.
I don't know what to do, i can't leave, i have no money, no education yet, and i have a family, i can't just leave them. I didn't ask to live in this insane country with inhumane laws, they came here and fucking occupied the place where i live.
If you're from another country, please spread awareness, educate yourself and don't support r*ssian government. If you're from r*ssia, hold on. I know you're scared, i'm scared too. But you're not alone. Just hold on.
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stiffyck · 6 months
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Hermitblr!
Do you know this artist? Have you seen her art around?
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Do you support this artist? Don't!
She's a homophobe and transphobe and I don't know why this isn't a more know thing! I haven't seen many people talk about this and I found this out just yesterday!
Cw for homophobia and transphobia in the screenshots
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Please do not give bigots like this a platform. If you like and follow her just unfollow or straight up block her.
I reblogged a bunch of her art multiple times and only yesterday did someone alert me to the fact that she is not a good person.
Genuinely don't know why there isn't more people talking about this! Her art gets plenty of notes and I think it's gross that this fandom, which to me seems very diverse when it comes to lgbtqia+ folks, still supports her and that she specifically has it in her bio that she will not talk politics.
queer peoples identities shouldn't be political and it's making me so mad that she's making her bigotry so secretive and that so many queer people like her because they don't know about this.
@/Bantaro-bird is her blog.
I'm putting this in the main tags because i feel like not enough people know about this and I think it's important
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missmeinyourbones · 7 months
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AURORA BOREALIS GREEN
cw: non sorcerer au, college au, enemies to lovers (?) neighbors to lovers, miscommunication trope if you squint (I AM SORRY), reader e to as she/her once, reader wears heels, some light sexual content (dry humping nation rise)
wc: 10k+
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There's something wrong with your upstairs neighbors. 
You've never met them, not face to face at least, but between the times you've hit your ceiling with the end of your broom and the audacity they have to continue to be as rowdy as they are, something isn't right with them. You're sure of it. 
And you're not naive to the fact that your apartment building is filled with young people, either currently in college or just freshly graduated. You're no prude to the dulled sound of late-night party playlists or squeaky bed frames muffled by plaster. 
But your neighbors aren't guilty of these typical noise complaints. No, they're borderline much worse.
The majority of their crimes take place in the day, believe it or not, which makes it all the more frustrating when you actually have shit to do. When it's not boyish yells of victory and frustration, it's footsteps that sound like a herd of elephants (how many people can live in an apartment floor plan for two?). They're relentless upstairs neighbors to have, and though you couldn't pick their faces out of a crowd if you tried, you're sure their lack of etiquette spans across other areas of their lives. 
The tiny clock at the top of your computer blinks a mocking 11:38 AM as you try to study through the sounds of excited stomping and rowdy gibberish. 
You don't know what makes today so different, whether it's the burnt coffee beans you can taste lingering in your usual order from the cafe across the street or the organic chemistry study guide practically laughing at you as you review your hieroglyphic notes for tomorrow's test.
Whatever is in the water has you feeling braver than usual, and instead of reaching for the conveniently placed broom in the corner of your kitchen, you find yourself stomping your way down the hall and up the staircase.
The sixth floor is identical to the fifth — you don't know why it wouldn't be, but you've never put much thought into it — so it's no surprise that your feet find no trouble in naturally bringing you to a door equivalent to yours just a floor below. 
Your knuckles wrap against the wood with three unfriendly knocks, and the joyous buzzing from inside the apartment instantly comes to a lull. You think you hear panicked whispers from the other side, almost as if the culprits are debating on answering or not. You take their choice away when you knock three more times. 
After a moment, you hear the clicking of the lock and the fiddling of the doorknob. You take a deep breath to ground yourself, put on your best customer service voice, and prepare to calmly tell these entitled frat boys to shut the fuck up when—
You're ironically met with the prettiest green eyes you think you've ever seen.
A tall brunette stands before you, about your age, and wearing a look that's both confused and embarrassed. Your eyes quickly flicker across his face in the span of mere seconds, logical thoughts going out the window and now replaced with amazement at how stupidly attractive he is. 
Though you knocked on his door, he speaks first.
"Hi...?" He clears his throat, looking behind you in the hallway, almost as if you have the wrong room. 
His confusion annoys you, and you suddenly remember why you're here in the first place. 
"Look, I really don't wanna be a bitch," you sigh, rubbing the bridge of your nose, "but what could you possibly be doing in this apartment that sounds like an actual full-out brawl on a Wednesday morning?"
Obliviously handsome neighbor's face goes a bit pink and his jaw slacks as he stutters, looking for either a shitty excuse or a polite explanation of the truth.
He opens the door a bit more, gesturing to the living room behind him. You spare a glance to where another guilty suspect stares back at you with big brown eyes and a smirk. There's some video game paused on the screen, ridden with animated blood and a scoped weapon's perspective.
Your attention is brought back to the one holding the door when he mumbles, "I think it's our game."
A bit dumbfounded at his lame answer, you blankly stare at him.
"Your... game?"
Brown Eyes yells from the couch, "Call of Duty!"
As if on instinct, Green Eyes closes the door a bit, shielding you from his roommate and shaking his head in exasperation. He clears his throat awkwardly, "Sorry, are you—?"
You're suddenly hyperaware of the fact that you've been staring at how long his fucking eyelashes are. He's anything but sore on the eyes, but again, you try to remind yourself that he and his roommate make your life difficult at least five out of seven days of the week.
"I live below you," you huff behind a swallow, "and you really don't make it easy." 
He nods dumbly, finally realizing the connection behind your visit. "Oh, right."
You scoff and nod your head. For someone as pretty as him, he's a bit thick in the head. 
Biting your cheek, you begin to walk away from the door without completely ending the conversation. As you're turning to leave, he hears you call out from down the corridor. 
"If you could just — not play video games like eleven-year-old boys," your tone is filled with annoyance, "that'd be great." 
You don't need to turn around to know that the stranger at the door is apologetic and nodding in compliance. Before he can fully shut the door, you hear a quip from his counterpart on the couch.
"She told you, bro."
As the door shuts, you hear the muffled hiss from the other. "You're the one making noise, dipshi—"
…..
Your threatening conversation must have worked to some degree, because it's been almost two days without any sort of annoyance from your upstairs neighbors. You think you almost take it for granted, the way you can study without headphones and enjoy a movie in the living room rather than in your bed with the speaker on high.
The walk back from your class is usually about twenty minutes, but it's closer to fifteen today as you're quicker when it comes to getting out of the cold.
Your chemistry test went alright — maybe not your best work but okay enough that you passed. And that's all you care about as you make your way back to your apartment, intending to crash in your bed and not move for the next few hours.
The winter air leaves a chill up your spine as you swipe into your building and press the elevator button. Your nose runs a bit from the cold as it sits against your knit scarf. Bag on your arm and half-consumed coffee, you can't wait to enjoy a day or two without thinking about covalent bonds and isomers.
You close your eyes and release a sigh as the elevator door begins to close, but before it gets the chance to do so successfully, quick footsteps and a hand jammed between the closing space prompt the doors to reopen.
Not really paying attention to the stranger joining your 30-second elevator ride, you simply step to the side to make more room for them.
It's not until they make eye contact with you that you realize it's your neighbor, the same one you'd borderline terrorized a few days ago for being irritating.
He's out of breath from catching the lift last minute, lungs still adjusting from the crisp air from outside. His jacket is zipped all the way up to his collar and his hair pokes out in spiky tuffs from beneath his hat.
He mumbles out a weak "sorry" before his eyes find the floor and the rickety door shuts, leaving the two of you alone in the suddenly very small space.
You'd cuss beneath your breath if you weren't close enough for him to hear it.
What's the acceptable thing to do in this scenario? You mentally weigh out your options. Sit in an awkward silence? Introduce yourself as if your encounter never even happened? Address the fact that you banged on his door a few days ago and insulted him as a first impression?
You choose the silence. If anything, you silently pray that behind your winter apparel and the lack of eye contact, he doesn't even recognize you.
But that thought goes to shit when you see that he's already pressed the fifth-floor button for you.
You swear the ride to your floor has never been this slow. Seconds feel like hours as you watch the digital number rise like paint drying on a wall. The elevator almost laughs at you as it stops on the third floor and opens itself to find no one there; you curse whoever decided to press the button before changing their mind and taking the stairs.
After what seems like forever, your floor finally flashes on the pixelated screen, and as you feel the elevator come to a stop—
The doors don't open.
You think it's just your dramatic prolonged sense of time until it's been about ten seconds and still, nothing. Just the two of you in a stopped elevator with doors that won't unlock.
You've never been one to believe in karma, but you can't help but think this is the universe punishing you for standing up for yourself. You are quite literally on your floor, a mere sliding door away from the embarrassing situation you got yourself in, but still, nothing happens.
He presses the button meant to prompt open the doors a few times with slight force.
"It does this, sometimes," he weakly coughs out in an attempt to make conversation. "It's uh—a shitty building."
You try pressing the button for yourself, "It's never done this for me."
Green Eyes sighs, slouching against his side of the wall and letting his head fall to rest on his shoulder, "Consider yourself lucky."
You huff, giving up on the button and turning to face him.
Your eyes didn't deceive you the first time you saw him — he is just as pretty as you'd initially thought. Not a great conversationalist, but nice to look at. He avoids eye contact until you speak up.
"It's happened to you before?" you gesture to the doors that won't open.
He catches your eye before nodding defeatedly, "This is the fourth time."
You can't help but bitterly laugh at the situation you're in.
"Maybe it's just you, then," you joke, looking up at the digital five mocking you in the corner.
Though you don't catch it, his eyes soften a bit as they fall on you. The corner of his mouth slightly quirks up when he chimes, "Could be."
You let yourself count another ten seconds before tossing your hands by your sides in aggravation and sighing, "So, what now? Hit the help button or—"
And like a blessing, or maybe a curse, you can't decide, the elevator chimes, signaling its arrival. The doors open swiftly as if there was nothing wrong with them in the first place, revealing your destination floor to you.
You whip your head to your upstairs neighbor, confused and almost asking for his permission to exit the elevator. You don't know why you do so, and you don't know why you only depart after he nods his head and waves his hand for you to continue.
Next time you leave your apartment, you find yourself taking the stairs to be safe.
…..
Your peaceful living is unsurprisingly short-lived. After a few enjoyable days, you'd given your neighbors too much credit as they now return to their usual noisiness. You find yourself rapping on their door once again.
This time, Brown Eyes answers.
Even before opening his mouth, he's instantly friendlier than his counterpart based on body language alone, completely opening the door all the way wide and leaning against the frame in his palm.
He's taller than you, but not as tall as the former who greeted you last time. With light rose-colored hair, he's all smiles and giggles. You'd think he were high if you could smell anything on him.
Oh, he's also shirtless.
"Hey, it's our friend again," he smiles at you before craning his neck backward, and you can make an educated guess on who exactly he's talking to.
You're quick to steer clear, "We aren't friends."
He laughs at your words, completely unfazed by the unwelcoming attitude. He casually sips on an energy drink that looks borderline lethal when he asks, "Were we being loud? You comin' to yell at us again?"
His lack of care for the situation surprisingly doesn't rub you the wrong way. Inconvenient? Yes, but not necessarily malicious, from what you can tell.
"I wouldn't be here for any other reason."
"Sorry," he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. "We don't really have inside voices around here."
You can't help but roll your eyes at the childish excuse. "You should find some."
"Will do," he nods like a child being reprimanded in class, "sorry again."
He salutes you with a metal can in his left hand. Before you can turn your back to him and towards the elevator, you hear the same voice call out to you.
"Hey—!"
You stop midstride, slowly turning around to face the door again. He stands in the same position, leaning against the door frame as he points out the obvious.
"We didn't get your name last time."
You blink at him a few times, not caring enough to connect the dots and extend the nicety, but the friendly one persists. He places a palm on his (bare) chest as he gestures to himself, "I'm Itadori."
You nod with raised brows, "And I'm calling our landlord if you piss me off again."
You hear a soft chuckle from the inside of the apartment. The two of you turn at the sound of the noise, where Green Eyes hides his smile behind the strings of his sweatshirt and quickly returns his attention to his phone.
Itadori, apparently, looks back at you and nods to his friend, "That's Fushiguro."
You breathe out your own name and quickly make your way back towards your apartment. On the ride down to your floor, you find yourself repeating the name — Fushiguro. It tastes weird on your lips, and you hate the way you don't hate it.
..…
His name is Megumi. 
You learn this when a letter shows up at your door addressed to a Fushiguro Megumi. Mail mix-ups are common in the apartment complex, but you can't help but laugh at the coincidence - his name but your apartment number clearly displayed in black ink.
You examine the piece of paper closely. The cream-colored envelope covered in poorly drawn hearts and tacky puppy stickers placed randomly across its front found itself wedged into your door's mailbox. Flipping it over, the return address is a mere surname of Gojo underlined with a smiley face. 
A love letter, you realize. You're not sure why the shift in narrative suddenly fills your stomach with an uneasy weight of disappointment.
You're going out anyways, you tell yourself as you slip on your scarf and shimmy into your shoes. Between stopping at the grocery store for a few small things and dropping off overdue assignments at your professor's office, it's not like you're going out of your way to return the letter to its intended recipient. You're doing the right thing, being a good samaritan, your mind repeats. 
The single flight up the stairs is easy enough and a good excuse for exercise. Approaching the door that mimics your own floor below, the same one you've already visited two times too many, you feel weirdly nervous. Just slide it beneath his door and call it a day.  
As you bend to slip the paper beneath the door, it swings open. 
You quickly stand up straight and back away from the opening, as the shadow in your peripheral startles from your presence and does the same. 
"Shit, sorry—"
Looking up, you lock eyes with the one and only whose letter lies in your hand. Fuck. 
He hesitates a bit when he realizes it's you, doing a double take and immediately assuming he's in trouble again. 
"We—" Megumi, you now know him to be, turns his back to you, quickly surveying his empty apartment to show you, "aren't playing? Yuuji's not even home, so—”
You're not sure why you're the slightest bit hurt by his more than reasonable accusation. The only two times you've been at his door were to reprimand him, so of course he's not wrong to assume this time was no different. Still, it has you feeling guilty as you dryly swallow and raise your arm.   
"I was sticking this under your door," you sigh, handing him the ridiculous-looking envelope. "Got sent to my place accidentally."
His eyes flicker to your extended hand, and when he sees the writing on the envelope between your fingers, his body instantly goes hot with embarrassment.
"Of course it did," he groans beneath his breath, almost annoyed. 
A bit abruptly, he grabs the letter from you and places his hand behind his back, telling himself that if it's out of sight, you'll forget it ever happened entirely.
His uneasiness and slight frustration have you taking a small step back as he snatches the envelope. He senses your hesitation and immediately mourns how he acted out of instinct, sighing and slowly moving the letter from behind him to rest by his side.
He softens and clears his scratchy throat, something you've come to notice he does a lot. "Thanks."
Feeling a bit brave, you raise your eyebrows, amused at his odd behavior. Your words are taunting yet friendly when you nod to the note at his arm.
"You should probably tell your girlfriend that you're in #603, not #503."
Megumi's face is often stoic and downturned, aside from a slight pull of a smile that can rarely be seen on occasion. But at these words, you watch in regret as Megumi's expression mimics one of disgust mixed with pure mortification. 
"Oh, this—" his eyes fall to the envelope he thinks might be the cause of his death, "this isn't from a girlfriend. It's actually a lot worse than that." 
"Worse?" you push.
"It's... from a family friend," he weakly reveals. "Kinda like a dad, I guess." 
You find yourself smiling at the meek yet sweet confession, nodding along and biting back a good-hearted laugh at his timidness. 
"Right, I just assumed with the hearts and the cute stickers that—" you trail off, gesturing to the letter that clearly presents itself as something else. 
He laughs a bit humorlessly and itches the back of his neck shyly.
"That would make a lot more sense and be a lot less humiliating, yeah."
You take a moment to take in his shyness. He's harmless, you decide at that very moment. You make a mental note to remind yourself to weigh the sides of the subject at hand. 
Cons: awkward, obvlvious, bad neighbor, a tad unfriendly at times
Pros: annoyingly attractive, nice enough in actual conversation, respectful in passing, girlfriend-less 
You shake those points from your head, taking a breath and slowly moving towards the elevator. "It could've been worse. The stickers could've been puppies and kittens," you tease. 
You expect that to be all, because that's all it should be, right? An awkward yet friendly coincidence between two strangers who got off on the wrong foot. You're locked in on entering the elevator when you hear his voice from behind you. 
"Sorry—" he shortly blurts out. 
You turn, expecting him to elaborate on the outburst. The look on his face almost reads as if he wasn't planning to until seeing your reaction, where he explains, "That we're loud sometimes. I really do try to tell Yuuji to shut up, but he's just... a lot."
You don't know why your heart swells at the apology. 
"It's fine," you nod softly. Turning your back, you call out to him as you enter the elevator. "You've actually been pretty tolerable this week, but don't let that go to your head."
As the elevator closes, you see Megumi smile before returning inside and closing his door. This time, you don't stop the thoughts that flow through your head.
Pro: cute
.….
You suppose it was only a matter of time before the tables you'd set managed to turn on you, but you just didn't expect it so soon. Because the next time you run into your neighbors, it's them knocking on your door for a change.
The sharp winter wind shakes the sides of your building with rage — the kind that results in creaky panels and systems outages in certain sectors of your building.
After waking to take a shower early this morning and being greeted with piercing cold water that refused to warm up, no matter how long you ran the faucet, you knew today would be a long one.
Clad in layers of fuzzy socks and bulky hoodies, you rise from the couch to answer the banging outside. After opening the door to see who's on the other side, it takes less than a second for the visitor to make himself at home.
"You out of hot water, too?" Yuuji casually brushes past you, walking into your home and stopping in the center of the living room. He looks around the space in awe — as if his own place just a singular level above doesn't mimic the exact same floor plan.
Still in the hallway but keeping an eye on his friend's questionable behavior, Megumi waits in the hallway. He's on the phone with someone, his cell wedged between his elbow and ear. When he begins asking about the building's backup generator, you mentally thank him for being the only proactive one here.
You sigh and turn to Yuuji, who's admiring your wall art and the fact that you have an actual television stand, "I'm out of heat in general."
"Damn," he blurts out without a thought, "that sucks."
You overhear Megumi wrapping up his conversation in the background when your lips are pulled downward in confusion.
"Are you guys not?"
"Oh no, we are," Yuuji continues admiring your apartment with a child-like curiosity, "but we have a space heater that's doing the job for now. How are you so good at decorating?"
You ignore his question, turning to Megumi who now stands on the threshold of your doorway. He makes a face, one of tight lips and sympathy, almost as if he's wordlessly apologizing for both the unfortunate scenario and his roommate's lack of social etiquette.
You further wrap yourself in your own little warmth, crossing your arms inwards. "That's actually really smart of you guys," you manage to croak out.
"You can come up and chill if you want," Yuuji mindlessly offers, eyes scanning over the magnets on your fridge. He can't stop himself from fiddling with a cherry-shaped one that holds up a baby picture of you from kindergarten.
The shock on your face must be obvious because you swear you hear Megumi swallow a chuckle at your reaction.
"You came down here… to ask me to chill?" Your voice octaves up towards the end, almost as if repeating the offer will reveal itself to be a track or joke.
While Yuuji nods eagerly, you can hear Megumi muttering from behind the neckline of his sweatshirt.
"Sue us for extending a neighborly olive branch."
As Yuuji continues to outwardly snoop around your kitchen, his eyes land on your oven-top clock and he whines.
"I actually have class in twenty and need to catch the shuttle to campus, but you're welcome to not freeze to death with Fushiguro, if you want."
You check your phone, confirming the time when you question, "Didn't the last shuttle of the hour leave already?"
You watch the gears turn in Itadori's mind for a second before he smacks a palm to his head, quickly brushing past you and out the door.
"Fuck me, see you guys later then—" he hurries, the only sound following him being the swishing of his winter coat and clunky booted footsteps jostling down the stairs.
And with Megumi still standing in your doorway and the sound of the main staircase gate slamming behind Yuuji's path, you could hear a pin drop between the two of you if it weren't for the howling wind outside (which you find yourself suddenly grateful for rather than loathing it).
Megumi shifts his weight on the balls of his feet as he stands. He clears his throat in a way he hopes is subtle.
"You can still come up," he gestures to the hallway with a nod of his head, before cautiously adding, "if you want."
Instinctively, you feel your body curl further in on itself. Megumi must notice it too, as his eyes quickly flicker to your raw hands tucked beneath your arms.
"It's not that bad in here," you weakly dismiss.
He deadpans, "I can almost see your breath."
A sigh leaves your chilled body and you look up at Megumi. Now it's your turn to silently communicate with him — eyebrows raising and wavering between your options, you chew on your cheek in thought.
"You don't have to," he softly adds, hands burrowing themselves in the pocket of his hoodie. "Just wanted to see if you needed anything, I guess."
"What did the landlord say?" your words are muffled from your teeth in your cheek.
Megumi's eyes light up a bit before they find his scuffed Converse again.
"He's sending his guys over, but it's gonna take an hour, at least."
After another minute that feels like twenty, you softly speak up.
"…Do you really have a space heater?"
As he fights off a smile, Megumi gently nods.
.….
You'll admit, the apartment looks better than you'd imagined. Not that your standards weren't too high to begin with, but you're pleasantly surprised.
Megumi unlocks the front door, gesturing for you to enter as he slowly closes it behind him, shivering a bit from the draft weaving through the hallway.
It's clean, relatively. The design of the rooms and open areas are identical to your layout below, but between the decor (or lack thereof) and the overhanging presence of the space, it feels so different.
Their television, the one you know to be responsible for their rowdiness, balances on what looks to be a bedside table. Far too small for the proportions of the TV but just enough to carry the width of the screen's base, it looks silly but does the job.
"You can just…" Megumi waves his hand to the living room, awkwardly trailing off as he insists. "Sit. Wherever you want."
Your seating choices include a felt futon in scrappy condition, two lopsided beanbags, and a busted recliner. You take your chances with the futon.
Surveying the apartment, it's not terrible — truthfully, you'd been expecting worse from college guys. You give them props; aside from a few half-drank plastic water bottles and withering plants on their window sill, there's nothing that outwardly goes against any health violations or suitable living standards. No empty beer cans or pizza boxes, no trashy flags or posters hung on the walls. It's decent.
And the space heater working overtime in the corner outlet is a major plus. Feeling the angle of its warmth blasting on your legs, you exhale at the heat and rub your fuzzy slippers together on instinct.
"Do you want anything?" Megumi stands a few feet away, nervous for someone in the comfort of his own home, "Water or a drink, or something?"
It's sweet how respectful he's being — you think back to whoever sent him that letter, imagining they raised him right.
You shake your head curtly, "I don't take drinks from strange men."
His face drops instantly.
"Oh—right," he swallows harshly, fumbling with his sparse words. "I didn't mean it like that or anything, but that makes sense. I just meant—”
The stoic expression you were attempting to upkeep fails and you can't fight off the smile that pulls at your cheeks. Exhaling a laugh and looking over at him, you apologize, "I'm just kidding, Megumi."
He feels his stomach instantly solidify like cement at your words — Megumi. He doesn't recall you ever referring to him by any name, let alone his first. He feels a wandering heat itching up his neck when he coughs up a chuckle.
He shakes his head, sitting on the opposite end of the futon and leaving the middle cushion between the two of you unoccupied.
"Fuck off," he scratches his jaw to busy his shaky hands. In doing so, you catch a glimpse of a few silver rings wrapping around his knuckles.
As the warmth of the space heater (solely the space heater, you remind yourself) gradually dissolves the chill that's been stuck up your spine for the last few hours, you slightly settle further into your seat.
"So this is the scene of the crime, huh?" you motion to the gaming console propped up on the floor beside the makeshift television stand.
Megumi amuses an exhale through his nose and nods along, "Yeah. I mean, you've kinda seen it from the hallway before."
"Yeah, but this is the real thing, first-person point of view. It's just missing me downstairs hitting the ceiling with my broom twenty times."
The next few minutes are stolen by a whole lot of small talk that holds no weight. Beginning to panic at how the hell you're gonna make it through this entire hour with little to talk about, your eyes fall on the television once more.
"So," you curl into the futon. "Show me something worth screaming over."
Without warning, Megumi chokes on his own saliva as he swallows.
"Huh?"
"A game," you quickly correct, not realizing how your words sounded and nodding to the television before you. "I meant, show me a game that justifies how loud you two get."
The game is fine, nothing revolutionary but admit that you could see how it could be entertaining for some. A standard battle royal concept, Megumi hands you his second controller and walks you through the instructions on how to play.
You mimic the way his fingers hold the controller, how they flex and bend to hit certain buttons for special uses. Throughout the tutorial of trial and error, the two of you naturally close the gap of the middle cushion, now much closer as you copy his movements and use his hands for reference. He even goes as far as reaching over to point out certain buttons to you, skimming your fingers hesitantly as he pulls away.
It's safe to say you don't win, don't even come close, but he's a good sport all the same. He laughs when you're hit by enemies and revives you with little to no mocking. He whispers an encouraging "there you go" whenever you manage to land a hit on someone, followed by an "I got you" when he's covering for your character. It's fun — you freeze a bit when you realize that you like spending time with him, even doing the very thing that caused this entire debacle in the first place.
You don't realize how much time has passed until Megumi's phone vibrates from the coffee table. His eyes quickly glance over the unsaved number, almost as if recognizes the contact and is debating on answering or not.
Your eyes narrow teasingly when you taunt, "You gonna take that?"
Snapped out of his thoughts, Megumi nods, swipes his screen, and holds his phone to his ear.
"Hello?"
The conversation is short, maybe thirty seconds in total. Though you can't make out any specific words, you can hear the rumbling of another deep voice on the other end of the call. Megumi listens half-heartedly, nodding along and chiming in here and there to acknowledge the caller.
"Hey, yeah. That was me. Right, okay. Okay, nice. Thanks, appreciate it."
The call ends and Megumi puts his phone down on the coffee table once more. You swear you can hear a small sense of disappointment in his voice when he breathes.
"That was the maintenance guy," he breathes softly. "Heat's back on."
You feel your own body getting sour with misfortune. Why are you so bitter about the thought of going back downstairs to your own apartment?
Nodding at his words, you slowly stand and do your best to sound relieved. "Thank god," you joke, "I was beginning to think I might have to sleep on this gross futon."
Megumi sneers, rolling his eyes and rising to walk you to the door. Before you step into the hallway, you turn to face him.
"Thanks," your tone is spineless, one he's unable to recognize from you before you elaborate, "for letting me leech off of your heat."
"No problem," he shoots you a genuine look. "Consider it reparations for all of the times we've annoyed you."
"All of the times?" you shoot him a harmless glare.
Unlike most who cower and scowl at your sarcastic quips, Megumi seems to bloom beneath your daggered attempts at pushing him away.
"Fine," he exaggerates a groan, "maybe not all. But it's a start, right?"
A start. The insinuation tickles all air out of your lungs like a feather. Though you pretend to be annoyed and kiss your teeth at his words, you nod all the same.
Leaving his door, Megumi seems lighter than he did when you first entered.
"Sorry you just kinda watched me play video games for almost two hours," he calls out to you as you depart, hands returning to his pockets.
"Don't be," you honestly tell him as your head cranes back to look at him. "It was nice to be up here for reasons other than wanting to strangle you."
.….
A day and a half later when the universe has realigned itself and it's you knocking on their door again, they half expect you to be followed by your stuffy landlord holding an eviction notice.
Much to their surprise, you're alone, rather skittish — and holding a tupperware container of… cookies?
It's Megumi who opens the door initially, but Yuuji is quick to squeeze his way into the opening at the sight of your familiar face and mysterious delivery in hand.
"Ooooooh, what are these?" he inquires, unashamed as he pokes his nose into your space in an attempt to get a better look at the baked goods.
Pulling a bit away from his antics, you swallow back any potential wisecracks.
"Thank you for being neighborly and not letting me die of hypothermia cookies," you keep your voice neutral.
"Are they poisoned?" Megumi pipes in.
You shoot him a scowl, one he's learned is innocent enough, and his eyes crinkle in amusement.
"Shit, can't remember if I added vanilla or vitriol?" your head cocks to the side in faux thought.
Your eyes flicker to him as he chews on his cheek in a half-assed attempt to cover up his entertainment at your quickness.
Yuuji, focused on nothing but having a minimum of five cookies for good measure, snatches the container from your hands and carries it to the kitchen counter.
He's already opening the dish and helping himself as he chews, "I don't even know what that is, so I'm gonna take my chances."
Megumi gives a quick thank you for the cookies, and Yuuji chimes in behind a satiated mouth and crumby lips. You brush off their graces, reminding them it's just you returning the favor for the heating situation.
Just as you're about to see yourself out of their entryway, you hear an authentic offer from the kitchen.
"Hey," Yuuji wipes his lips with the back of his hand, and something about it feels oddly youthful to you, "wanna come over this weekend?"
You look at the two of them for a moment, waiting to see if there's a punchline to come, before carefully treading, "Why?"
"We're havin' some friends over," Yuuji reveals casually before going to take another large bite, "and I guess you're funny enough to hang out with us."
The hesitation in your response must be more apparent than you think because he's quick to chuckle and elaborate on the offer.
"It's not an orgy," he teases at your stiffness before grabbing at another cookie and shrugging. "We get take out, chill, drink a little, kick ass in Mario Kart."
You nod as you listen to his words. He's kind, they both are, and you know the offer to be a genuine one. Still, the situation makes your stomach ache with uncertainty at the thought of mingling with strangers for the sake of your mere — acquaintances? Neighbors? Friends?
"As fun as that sounds," you breathe, clearly trying but failing to convince them of your apologetic tone, "I don't really wanna intrude on you and your friends.
"It's not intruding if you're invited," Megumi interjects for the first time in the conversation.
Looking at where he stands against the counter, his eyes are on you. They're careful, but hopeful in a gentle kind of way. He wants you to say yes — but he'd rather swallow a knife than his own pride and admit it himself.
Your words are unconvincing when you sigh, "Not really in the hangout mood. Next time, okay?"
The two men deflate a bit, one more dramatic and obvious than the other, but they nod at your rejection. Wiping his hands off on his shorts, Yuuji walks you to the door, thanking you again for the sweets and joking about you getting home safe on your long journey back downstairs.
You can't help but giggle at his theatrics, insisting that, "If you need me this weekend, I'll be rotting away on my couch with a bottle of wine and a week's worth of Love Island to catch up on."
Yuuji laughs wholeheartedly, "Your loss, see ya."
Megumi weakly waves as his best friend swings the door shut. Once closed, Yuuji turns to him with a cheeky smile he knows can mean nothing good.
Megumi grimaces at his enthusiasm, "What?"
Yuuji nods to the door, a toothy grin spreading across his face. "Think I'm gonna ask her out."
Megumi's quick to react poorly.
"What?" he borderline knocks over the water bottle next to him on the counter. He catches it, embarrassed by his obvious care for the situation as he tries to cover it up with a nonchalant scoff, "Why?"
Yuuji stares at him for a minute in disbelief before stating what he believes to be the obvious.
"'Cause she's hot and yells at us all the time?"
Megumi scoffs in distaste again. He fiddles with the rings on his right hand, pretending to be careless about a situation he's anything but careful about.
Sensing his roommate's off response, Itadori's quick to add. "Unless you wanna call dibs before I do?"
"Dibs?" Megumi groans.
"Yeah, like claiming—"
"I know what dibs means," he interrupts before Yuuji can dig his own grave any further. He slumps into the palm of his hand as his elbow rests atop the kitchen counter, "I just think that's shitty."
Yuuji, knowing Megumi well enough to sense that he's hit a sour spot, nods and backs off. He joins him at the counter again, oblivious as he grabs another cookie to chomp on. With cautious eyes and a mouth filled with chocolate, he speaks up.
"…So you don't wanna call dibs?"
.….
It's Saturday, almost Sunday, according to the cat clock on your wall.
You'd kept your word. Beneath a few blankets and practically one with your couch cushions, you're spending your weekend doing exactly what you'd anticipated.
The television continues to play the stream of episodes you're catching up on. With your second glass of red in hand, you tune in and out of the segments when the good parts catch your attention. It feels good to relax, to do nothing and to be nothing behind tipsy and fatigued eyes.
A sudden knock on your door puts a minor wedge in your plans. Sitting up with a groan, you whimper beneath your breath but move to answer it regardless.
Maybe you forgot to tip your delivery driver when he dropped off your takeout a few hours ago and he's back for revenge. Maybe it's your drunk friends, showing up to ruin your night and attempting to persuade you to join them on their foolish escapades. Maybe it's someone with the wrong address.
Locking eyes with the visitor at your door, it's Megumi. Maybe you're drunker than you thought.
His delicate eyes match yours when he scarcely smiles, "Hi."
Your eyes go to the items in his hands — a few beer bottles, a bag of chocolate-covered pretzels, and a deck of cards.
Giggling to yourself, you stare at him, "I think you got off a floor too early."
Megumi laughs, and when you're able to get a good look at him, you can tell he's a bit tipsy, too. His shoulders aren't as tense as they usually are, he's still broad, but a lot looser now. His eyes are glossed over with a haze you're sure yours mimic. He scratches his nose awkwardly before opening his mouth.
"I—" he cuts himself off, eyes darting to the items in his arms before returning to you, "wanted to see you."
"Me?" you're unable to stop yourself from nearly gawking.
He laughs again, not obnoxiously but easy and natural. "Yes, you. Does someone else live here?"
"Don't you have plans with your friends?" you question, still not letting him inside.
"They're upstairs," he nods, "and no, I'm not here to force you to come up."
At his words, he can see your visible relief. Opening the door fully and letting him come inside, you relish in reassurance, "Good, I really didn't wanna be fake nice right now."
A smile pulls at the corners of his mouth as he sets his belongings on your coffee table. "Fake nice?" he prompts.
"I mean, not that it's fake, it's just like—customer servicey. Y'know? Being kind to people in a way that's not ingenuine but—"
"Exhausting?" he finishes for you, and he's weirdly more talkative with a bit of alcohol in his veins. "Yeah, I feel that."
You sprawl onto your couch and he takes the seat next to you but refrains from leaning back as far. He watches you graze on your glass of wine, your legs crossed childishly as you gaze up at him.
"Are you like that with me?" he puts on a brave face. "Fake nice?"
He releases a breath he didn't even know he was holding when you shake your head. After a hearty sip from your drink, you talk dramatically with your hands.
"Am I even real nice to you? I've kinda been a bitch since the day I banged on your door."
Megumi shakes his head as he laughs, which in return allows you to do the same. He relaxes a bit further into the warmth of your cushions, lolling his head to look at you as he opens himself a beer.
"I don't think so," he shrugs. "You're not wrong for complaining about us being understandably annoying."
Things lighten up as time passes. The night gets a bit blurry but it's fun, carefree. The two of you sit on your tiny couch, passing a bag of pretzels back and forth, and playing stupid card games that bring out your competitive sides and don't have real rules.
Minutes bleed into hours and you're not sure what time it is when it's late enough for Megumi to start yawning. Enjoying a comfortable silence between the two of you, his voice is temperate when he asks.
"Why didn't you want to hang out with us?"
He almost seems mournful, and a part of you feels guilty as his eyes blink heavily down on you. You exhale, readjusting your legs and throwing your head back.
"Seemed like a friend group thing," is what eventually crawls up from your throat. "Felt weird being the only one who didn't know everyone, y'know?"
He considers before nodding in agreement. "Yeah, I guess. But I would've been with you."
His stare feels sharp, like he can see right through your facade and into parts of you you've buried deep a long time ago. You hate it and love it, want to drown yourself in it and voluntarily inhale until your own demise.
Unable to hold his stare, you look into your almost empty glass, swishing around the bleeding wine and ice that remains at the bottom.
"Well, you're here with me now, anyway."
Megumi continues to admire you without words. Pointing an accusatory finger back at him, you nudge his leg with your foot. "So, why aren't you up there?"
"Cause you didn't show up," he doesn't hesitate to respond. Almost as if he regrets his eagerness but still stands by the sentiment, he clears his throat before adding, "Was weirdly hoping you would, but—"
He doesn't finish his sentence, trailing off with a lame shrug.
His eyes look greener when they're a bit more watery. Fuck it.
Slowly, maintaining eye contact with him the entire time to assess his reactions, you move to crawl into his lap. You sense a difference in his breathing pattern, but other than that, he makes no move to pull away from you. He lets you carefully straddle his legs before getting comfortable atop him, when he places his hands on the plush between your hips and thighs.
Leaning in, giving him any chance to reject you, stop you, hate you, you continue to keep his eye as your lips just barely brush against his. He does the same, refusing to look away from you as if he'll never get this opportunity again. As if he wants to take a picture and relish it forever.
"Stop me," you bite through a hushed whisper, daring him to put an end to this before it begins.
His breath is lulled against your own when he whispers, "No."
You kiss him, and he kisses you back. It starts simple, like you're learning all about one another's creases and folds. Between shaky inhales and nervous hands, you lean into one another's touch, savoring every taste and sound you can manage.
Megumi feels brave, and on one particular gasp from you, he prudently skims his tongue across your lower lip before slipping it inside. Rubbing against your own with a fervent need, you open your jaw further for him to have whatever he wants. Between your increased breathing, soft moans, and greedy hands, the two of you slowly become messy and desperate for one another.
Hips wantonly moving against his thighs, he flexes instinctually as you begin to grind yourself down on him. He meets your movements, half hard as he presses into you, both of you whimpering at the new-found friction. The two of you reduce to whiney teenagers, practically swallowing one another whole and dry-humping fully clothed before you open your eyes to look at him.
Megumi, eyes shut and whimpering into your neck, is too good for this — deserves more than this. He's kind, respectful, funny (though you'd never tell him that to his face), and you're both drunk. It feels so fucking good, but it isn't right. It's not supposed to happen like this.
Slowing your movements, you pull back to see his face. Dazed, he opens his pretty green eyes to look up at you like you hold the stars and sun in your hands.
"We shouldn't," you pant, brushing your bangs back and catching your breath. "We should stop."
Megumi, confused and hurt, but instantly moving you off of his lap with a gentle hold, nods in agreement. "Right, right, we're — we're drunk," he whispers, almost ashamed of everything that just happened.
Before you can say anything, he's readjusting himself and standing up. A bit more sober than he was a few minutes ago, he's straightening himself out and making his way to your door.
"Sorry—" he keeps repeating himself, "I'm… I'm so sorry."
He's gone before you can reassure him that there's nothing to apologize for.
.....
You don't hear from him the next morning — or afternoon. 
When night falls, you've given up that there's any hope of saving whatever it was the two of you had going. 
Wanting to drown yourself in your own sorrows, you stare at the text from your friend before you and weigh your options. 
Stay in, cry yourself to a babbling mess, and finish your show
Answer their text and agree to go to this party with them
Thinking back to last night and how badly you fucked that one up, you decide the first choice is off-limits. Hoping you don't regret your decision, it's not long before you're looking decent enough to lock your door behind you and start the commute to your friends. 
The walk isn't terrible, being ten minutes to your friend's place and an additional fifteen to whoever's party you're attending. On the west side of campus, you can hear the muffled music and drunken squeals of the attendees from down the street. 
The party itself is fine, nothing special. The lime seltzer in your hand is still half full when you stray away from your friends in search of the bathroom. 
There's a line formed down the hallway of drunk girls laughing, couples swallowing one another's faces, and a single guy slumped against the wall in his own world. Taking a second glance at the end of the line, you recognize the lone drunk as Yuuji. 
Gently tapping his shoulder, his eyes blink open and he's nearly crushing you to death when wrapping his arms around you in excitement. He lets his animation get the best of him, lifting you in the air and spinning you once before he realizes he can't handle another. Leaning on the wall to steady both you and him, you're smiling at his sloppy yet endearing enthusiasm. 
"What are you doing here!?" he beams, swaying back and forth and reeking of cheap booze. 
"My friends dragged me out of the house," you tease before noticing truly how incoherent he is. Your nose crinkles with worry, "You fucked up?"
He can barely stand up straight, eyes unable to focus in one spot for too long as he blearily looks at you before skimming his body against the wall again. He's talking in slow gibberish, something about having one too many and wanting to talk to this pretty girl from his linguistics lecture before she leaves.
"Hey," you gently grab his jaw to steady his gaze. "Did you come here alone?"
Yuuji doesn't answer, or rather he does but it's nonsensical and impossible to go off of. You sigh, quickly scanning the suddenly overwhelming crowd around you before grabbing his arm and speaking kindly, yet reflective of a mother. 
"Let me take you back to our building, okay?" you prompt him to stand up straight and follow your lead. "I'm going back anyways, I'll walk with you."
Yuuji's eyes light up with excitement at the thought of a journey with his neighbor friend, and it's not long before he's dragging his feet over one another and using your hand as a guide to the door. 
On your walk home, you ache for the comfort of your warm bed, the feeling of taking these god-forsaken heels off, and Megumi's forgiveness. You wonder if you'll see him when dropping off Yuuji at his door — you pathetically hope so. 
However, Yuuji didn't show up to this party alone.
Megumi, who had been grabbing him a drink and caught a glimpse of you two, saw the entire thing without context — Yuuji's hands around your waist, you caressing his jaw, the two of you leaving abruptly together. 
He downs both his and Yuuji's drinks with ease. 
..…
Megumi wasn't home.
Disappointed but relieved to see Yuuji safe in the comfort of his apartment, you help him collapse on his couch.
Turning him on his side and making him drink at least two cups of water before throwing a blanket over him and leaving a note, you close the door behind you with a heavy heart.
A few minutes later, you're a bit more at ease. Feet now ridden of silly high heels and skin against the soft cotton of your bed, you find yourself flooded with thoughts of Megumi.
You wake up to a constant thud on your front door. Picking up your phone, it's almost two in the morning and you're not even sure you're not dreaming when you're feet carry you to the blistering noise of a fist on your door.
Swinging it open with half-closed eyes, you're more than prepared to fight a murder charge to get whoever the hell this is to leave you alone. But before you can curse them with everything in you, you realize it's Megumi.
"Hi," he whispers. It's a start contrast from the violent banging on your door he was responsible for two seconds ago, but you can't find it in yourself to care.
"Hi," you respond, suddenly more than awake and just as breathless. "You okay?"
"Are you sleeping with Yuuji?"
Your heart skips exactly two beats before you can accurately comprehend his question. It's then when you notice that he's drunk, disgustingly so. You're not sure how it wasn't the first thing you noticed - but looking at his green eyes again, you give yourself some grace.
"… What?" is all you can pathetically muster.
"Itadori," he slurs. His face is pale with hurt and the collar of his shirt is all wrinkled.
You can't help but roll your eyes, "Yeah, I know who Yuuji is, but why the hell are you asking me that?"
"Because you shouldn't be," he declares through a heavy tongue and spinning head. You think you hear his voice crack with emotion when he continues, "I don't want you to sleep with him."
You're sure you're still dreaming as you take in his words. Since the moment you knocked on the door one floor above you, sleeping with Yuuji has never crossed your mind. You've been far too busy focusing on thinking about the man in front of you, who's wasted beyond belief and accusing you of something that not only doesn't make sense but hurts a bit.
He fumbles on his words, swallowing dryly and spiraling.
"You shouldn't sleep with him just because he walks around shirtless and invites you to hang out with us."
Your eyebrows pull downwards with what Megumi knows is hurt. He can't stop himself from talking or spewing nonsensical things just because he can.
Your voice is shaky when you plea, "Megumi, what?"
"I mean—he's my best friend, he's great," he throws his hands up to surrender the truth. "But we played video games and—and we kissed. And you're always looking at me with those eyes and—"
"Megumi," your voice comes tired now, cold. "You're drunk."
"You left with him. And you were whispering in his ear and touching his arm." He frowns, feeling sick just thinking about it again. He shakes the nightmare from his head when repeating his prior question.
"Are you sleeping with him?" he asks again, more accusatory this time around.
He watches your eyes fill with water, but it's not long-lived before you're blinking away any sign of weakness and cementing your walls up again.
"If you didn't notice," you spit with venom, "your friend is drunk off of his ass. I walked him home since he could barely stand on his own."
As if you're speaking another language, Megumi dumbly gapes at your confession.
"You—what?"
You press with ice in your words, "Walked him home. He's passed out on your couch right now."
"Oh." Megumi hadn't returned to his apartment before coming to yours. He'd walked home from the shitty party with one destination in mind, immediately talking the elevator to the fifth floor and finding your familiar floor.
He feels stupid, nauseous with guilt, and god, does his head hurt. His heart hurts too when you scoff and cross your arms in defense.
"Wanna go back to the part where you were practically calling me a slut?"
He cringes, "No, no god no, that's not what I was trying to—"
You don't give him the luxury of explaining himself. Turning your back and slamming the door, you take away his chance of redemption.
You sound unrecognizable when you tell him, "Go to fucking bed, Fushiguro."
.….
The birds outside of your window remind you that it's Sunday, and the open book on your desk reminds you that not only do you have class tomorrow, but you have an assignment due before midnight.
Memories of last night's conversation — if you could even call it that — with Megumi make you feel queazy. Nothing happened in the way you'd wanted. It all just spiraled out of control, like water slipping through a cracked ceiling, you'd just watched it leak without remorse.
The continued chirping outside reminds you that it's quiet, something you should use to your advantage. A light in this mess of a pathetic story.
You'll study, you decide. You'll grab a quick coffee from the cafe across the street and get some actual work done. Something you should've done a long time ago, something you’d ignored that ended up with this this heartbreak.
Not even ten minutes later, you're decent enough to slide your shoes on and grab your house keys. Opening the door into the hallway, you're met with familiar eyes.
Megumi looks disheveled, sitting with his knees up against the wall of your hallway. At your abrupt opening of the front door, he's quick to stand up and dust his pants off from the grime of the hallway carpet. You notice he has a paper bouquet of pinks and blues in his hand and an exhausted frown on his face.
When he looks at you, he can almost feel the air leaving your lungs as your stomach drops.
The first words you say to him are softer than he expects, than he thinks he deserves, but still carried by a look of disapproval.
"Were you here all night?" your lip turns with disgust.
"No—" he spews too quickly. Seeing your expression that clearly reads disbelief, he slows himself down. Taking a deep breath, he repeats himself with a bit more certainty. "No, I've been here since like, seven maybe?"
"Why?"
His hand trembles in a way he hopes you have the respect to ignore as he moves to give you the bouquet. "Because I'm sorry," his voice is steady, like he's been practicing in the mirror.
Choosing to make him work for it, your eyes flicker to the flowers unimpressed before finding his face again.
"For?" you cruelly push him further.
But Megumi's determined to meet your forces just as equally. His voice gains confidence as he speaks clearly, "For panicking and assuming the worst last night. I was drunk, but that's not an excuse. It was a douchebag thing to do."
Admiring how your face softens at his apology but still carries creased lines of worry, Megumi half expects your response.
"And?"
This is the part he's a bit unprepared for.
"And for leaving that night," his volume dips with the confession, eyes wanting to find comfort in the floor so badly but refusing to leave your own as he tries and tries and tries to fix this, "I..."
His lips move before he can think twice about his words, "I thought it was what you wanted."
His confession cracks something inside of you, like nails digging crescents into raw skin. Slowly, you gesture for him to come inside. He hesitates but follows when you move towards the couch, the same couch you'd straddled him on two nights prior. It looks different in the daylight.
Megumi's careful with each step, as if he's walking on eggshells, when he slowly sits beside you on the couch. Placing the bouquet on your table, he moves as if you're a predator, as if he'll make one wrong move and you'll snap, lurching at him and sinking your talons into his neck. You hate how it makes you feel.
Your words surprise the both of you when they eventually come. "I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. I wanted you to stay I just—felt bad."
Felt bad? Megumi's mind goes numb at the realization. Felt bad for him? Like when you do a good deed to cancel out a bad one? Did you kiss him that night because you pitied him?
Before his mind runs itself further into the worst-case scenario, he's brought back to reality as you continue.
"We were drunk, and I didn't want that to be how it happened y'know?"
He starts at you blankly, "It?" He lamely asks.
This time, it's your voice that weakens with shame. He watches you fiddle with your fingers, the same ones he remembers feeling in his hair and on his skin. The ones he wants to feel again.
"Felt like I was coming onto you, and you deserved better than that," you eventually reveal softly, correcting yourself with certainty. "Deserve better than that."
And he feels stupid. God, does Megumi feel stupid. All this time, he'd been thinking you regretted the why of the situation, kissing him like you did. He'd never stopped to think about the fact of how you did it. Never thought you'd be so inclined to consider his wishes.
You think he regrets it, and that is the last thing he wants you to believe.
Taking a risk, Megumi lays a gentle palm on your thigh. He does so slowly, giving you a chance to revolt and bite his hand clean off the bone. You don't so he relaxes his hand.
It's not sexual, not desperate and needy like how it was the other night. It's calm. comforting. Another way for him to say I'm still here, aren't I?
"I'm not great with words," he starts, "but I was very much into it. I need you to know that. You didn't—do anything I didn't want."
Softly and ignoring the criticism from the voice in your head for once, you nod.
You recognize the familiar pull of his lips when he softly grins. "Think it's pretty obvious now, but in case it's not," he leans into this whole communicating thing, "I really like being around you."
He thinks his heart grows a size when you weakly smile back at him, "You like being around me?"
He shrugs, laughing at your sarcasm. "Around you, with you. I guess I just like you, really."
You raise your eyebrows, challenging his statement, "Are you still drunk?"
"Fuck no."
You hum shortly. "Hungover?"
"Disgustingly so," he grimaces at the reminder of how nauseous he is.
"Thinking clearly?"
"Never really around you, but clear as I can be."
It's soft and sweet, and this is how you wanted it to be. Naturally, as if you're both magnets being pulled to one another, Megumi is carefully guiding you into his lap as you're naturally making yourself at home in his hold.
The position almost exactly mimics the one you'd found yourself in on Friday night, but this time, it's different. It feels different — golden instead of red and light with a newfound meaning.
With gentle eyes and slight nods from each of you, you kiss once more. His mouth moves the same, eager yet graceful as he leans into you. No wandering hands or drunken hiccups, you feel one another smile into the kiss until it is all giggles and teeth.
"Y'know, if you wanted to ask me out," you pull away from him, accusatory with an underlying teasing, "you should've just asked like a normal person instead of accusing me of sleeping with your friend."
Megumi groans in embarrassment, hiding his face in your neck. You feel the heat of his cheeks when he sighs.
"Yeah, that wasn't my finest moment."
Kisses are stolen and silence is shared until he yawns you remember how awful he must still feel from drinking so much. Crawling off of his lap, you ignore the butterflies in your stomach whines he whines at the loss of your weight.
"Want anything?" you call out as you walk towards the kitchenette. "I have Advil and a bagel with your name on it."
Megumi hums at the thought, not confirming or denying the offer, as his eyes remain locked in on you in a blissful comfort.
Your voice becomes more distant as you turn the corner, "I'll even give you those eyes I know you like so much."
A muffled sound of humiliation can be heard from the couch, "God, please forget I said that."
Putting the bagel in the toaster and reaching up to the medicine cabinet, you laugh carelessly.
"Never."
…..
Yuuji wakes up with a throbbing headache and an acidic burning in the back of his throat.
He groans, turning on his side before realizing that — he's not in his bed. With blurry vision and sweaty hands fumbling to survey the environment around him, he feels for his phone. The screen is far too bright and completely overridden of missed calls and texts, reading a mocking 2:14 PM when he groans.
When yelling Megumi's name a handful of times doesn't work (it usually does), he opens his Find My Friends app and tracks his roommate. Seeing his icon appear right next to his own while ironically hearing your echoing laughter ring from upstairs, he laughs.
Before he closes his eyes again and deals with a hangover from hell, he sends Megumi a text before tossing his phone across the room.
Ur welcome for not actually calling dibs.
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atimeofyourlife · 9 months
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Time after time
written for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt: uncle wayne adopts steve | rated: t | wc: 942 | cw: reference to abuse, reference of canon fake suicide | tags: steve harrington has bad parents, steve harrington needs a hug
The first time they met, Wayne knew the boy couldn't be much older than fourteen. Definitely younger than Eddie, who was fast approaching sixteen. It was early, a little before 6 am, during summer vacation, no less. Wayne had finished his shift and called into Benny's to get a coffee and breakfast, on the mornings he did this, he was almost always the first customer of the day. Occasionally beaten in by a cop, or a firefighter, or anyone else that had been stuck with a night shift. But he had never seen a kid in so early. Sat alone in the corner booth nursing a cup of coffee with an almost empty plate in front of him.
"Mornin' Wayne. The usual?" Benny asked.
"You know it. But, uh. What's with the kid?" Wayne replied, nodding toward the boy in the corner.
"Dick and Linda's kid. They're back in town, and he needs a safe place. So he comes here."
"Why don't you report it?" "You think I haven't tried? His parents paid off just about everyone from the mayor down. Kid's not lucky enough to have any other family around to look out for him."
The kid came over with his empty cup and plate.
"I've told you a thousand times that you don't need to do that kid." Benny said.
The kid just shrugged.
"What's your name, kid?" Wayne asked.
"Steve, sir. Steve Harrington." He replied.
"I'm Wayne. And I wish my boy was as polite as you."
The second time they met, it was in more unfortunate circumstances. Benny's funeral. There'd been weird shit going on in town, starting with the Byers' kid going missing. Wayne didn't believe any of the official stories. But especially not the story of Benny's supposed suicide. He knew Benny so well, and something like that wasn't the sort of thing to cross his mind.  He took his place in the community too seriously for that.
But the kid had changed. A few years older, and a lot more haunted. The look in his eyes giving away that he'd seen more than his fair share in his young life. And he was jumpy, almost always looking over his shoulder.  He kept to himself, away from everyone else there. Wayne didn't see much of him until after. Steve was standing at the edge of the parking lot, his hands shaking as he tried to get his lighter to work.
"Here, kid." Wayne held his own lighter out.
"Thank you, sir." Steve replied, after taking a long puff on his cigarette.
"No need for thanks, kid. You doing okay?"
"I. I think I'm gonna miss him. He's helped me out a lot." Steve admitted.
"That was Benny for you. Always ready to help anyone out. But do you have anyone else you can reach out to if you need it?"
Steve hesitated a moment. "Yeah, sir. I do."
The third time, it was less of a meeting than Steve yelling directions at everyone. Tabitha, a woman who lived on the other side of the trailer park, collapsed in the middle of Big Buy. The kid snapped into action without second thought, checking Tabitha for a pulse, for her breathing. He yelled at an employee to call for an ambulance as he started chest compressions. At another to clear space. At some other customers to block the end of the aisle so no one else could stand around and watch. Wayne approached as Steve gave rescue breaths, before going back to the chest compressions. When he noticed Wayne, he looked like he was about to yell at him, but Wayne spoke first.
"It's okay, kid. She's my neighbor. And I know CPR too, so when you need a break I can take over."
They swapped places a few times before the paramedics showed up and took over.
"You did good, son. You acted quicker than any adults did. You may have just saved her life." "Anyone would have done it, sir. I was just the closest who knew what to do."
The fourth time, it was at the hospital. Steve in the hospital bed next to Eddie's, identical wounds, but Steve's were infected. Wayne got to talking to Steve while Eddie slept.
"I tried to protect him the best as I could, sir. I patched him up, and made sure he got to the hospital in time. I know I should have done more-"
"You did more than enough. You kept him alive, now you need to focus on making sure that you're healthy. And you can drop the sir shit. It's Wayne."
After that, Wayne lost count of the meetings. From sharing the hospital room with Eddie, to being friends, to being more. He would do as much for Steve as he would for Eddie, and wanted to ensure that both always had somewhere safe to return to.
"Steve, if you ever want to get out of that big empty house of yours, you're more than welcome to join us here. We'd love to have you move in with us." Wayne said to Steve one day while they were cooking together. Eddie always conveniently disappeared when anything cooking related came up.
"Sir, Wayne. I couldn't put you out like that." Steve replied.
"Nonsense. You're as much my kid as Eddie is, it don't matter who your momma or daddy is. We want you here, you spend enough time here as it is, we might as well make it official."
"I, Wayne. I'd like that." Steve was quite choked up, so Wayne pulled him into a hug. All was going to be okay, with him and his two boys.
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timmydraker · 24 days
Text
CW: so much angst but it’s mainly for villains
Tim had Ana hunt with Bruce who tells him that he’s too young to understand how the world really works, with Jason adding sneakily that he’s also a rich boy who’s never struggled before.
Naturally, Tim takes this as a challenge and decides to help and/or ‘fix’ every villains that he thinks he realistically can.
He goes big straight away with Harley Quinn. He goes to her and pretends to be asking for advice on a friend who’s in an abusive relationship, saying no one else seems to be understanding eh situation but as a score she might. He smoothly describes her and Joker and lets her rant for almost two hours before pulling the rug form under her and saying that Jason forgives his ‘friend’ for him dying by her boyfriend because he knows she was hurt just as bad when she tried to save him.
Harley takes another two months to leave the Joker and places herself in Arkham to contour her role as a doctor for her fellow maniacs.
It takes the help of several doctors but he finds the cure for Freezes wife and hands it over while telling the man that his wife probably won’t forgive him for his various murders.
Freeze understands, saves his wife anyway and accepts her request for a divorce willing, just as long as she stays alive.
He gets Arnold Wesker a real doctor who can better treat his Dissociative Identity Disorder and helps him keep Scarface out of the front by playing along as if rhetorical puppet is real and under heavy custody.
Arnold starts to live for more moments of peace than he has in years, even if there are still some really bad days.
With Poison Ivy he doesn’t actually do anything as Robin, but instead goes to her as Tim Drake and asks for her guidance on how to make his medical company and by association Wayne Industries completely eco friendly and even help to stop climate change. Tim Drake was already borderline political, he might as well lead the charge on action for climate. He does say that if Ivy does any more large scale and fatal attacks he will stop everything, which she agrees to after a week of though with her plants council.
Pamala cries for hours when she sees Tim’s plan to de-plant the entirety of a forest that she had once tried to save.
Tim doesn’t tell his family about any of this until he asks them to visit him in his city office about a gala he wants to hold, his very first, and they find Pamala and Harley helping with decoration plans and Victor and Arnold discussing how their therapy has been going together.
Bruce nearly had a heart attack.
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novacorpsrecruit · 9 months
Text
Unapologetically Steve Harrington
@steddiemicrofic prompt: hole | wc 404 | Gen | cw: needle
Throughout Steve’s childhood, he was told he was mature for his age. He never played in the mud or jumped in puddles. He never talked back in public. He was polite and stayed quiet unless spoken to. They disciplined him in private when he “acted out of hand,” reminding him to be seen but not heard.
Years later, Steve realized when he was “acting out of hand,” he was just being a regular kid. His parents didn’t want a kid, they wanted a perfect, quiet child. A golden child used as a bragging right.
Steve tried actually acting out. He slept around. He partied and drank. Even then, his parents didn’t bat an eye. They perceived him as a ladies man and popular. And sure, he was popular, but it wasn’t who he wanted to be.
In reality, Steve was everything his parents didn’t want. He was a little weird and snarky. He loved to talk back and bitch. He was in love with a guy that they would never give the time of day. He wanted to work with kids, not finances like his dad wanted him to do. He couldn’t care less if he was liked or perceived as popular.
He wanted to be himself.
So here he was, sitting on the kitchen counter, Eddie standing between his legs. He looked at Steve softly.
“You sure you want to do this?” Eddie asked. Steve nodded. Steve wanted to close his eyes, but he thought that defeated the purpose. He watched Eddie’s face, so determined to be strong, determined to be steady. He brought his hand up, gently massaging Steve’s earlobe before bringing the needle up to Steve’s ear. Eddie stuck the tip of his tongue out in concentration as he brought the needle to Steve’s ear pushing through the new hole. Steve held his breath at the sharp pinch, letting out the exhale slowly when he sees Eddie pull away with a smile.
Steve cautiously reached up to his right ear, gently touching the piercing. It was a symbol. An act of rebellion against his parents. A way to show his identity, a way to express himself. His eyes welled up with tears.
“Did it hurt?” Eddie asked.
“No,” Steve said with a smile. “Thank you.”
It felt like Steve could finally let go of the image of the perfect son. He could finally breathe.
He could finally be unapologetically Steve Harrington.
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daisynik7 · 11 months
Note
Hi are you still doing song requests? If so can you do Make You Feel My Love by Adele for Toji? 🥹 please and thank you ☺️
Make You Feel My Love
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Part Two to Photograph
Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!reader
Word Count: ~2.3k
cw: fluff, explicit language, basically all fluff lol
Summary: Toji Fushiguro is nothing like his previous self. He’s become hardened, almost completely desensitized through the years, being used and abused by his own family, the Zenin clan. After the loss of his first wife, Toji takes his son and decides to finally run away to the only place where he can feel like his true self again: home. There, he reunites with a familiar face. 
Author’s Notes: Thank you for this request for the y2k karaoke party! I thought it’d be perfect as a continuation to this story. I hope you enjoy! Thank you for reading. Divider credits to @/cafekitsune.
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“Zenin?”
Your voice is soft, almost breathless, when you utter his name as he stands between the door frame of your classroom, hands in his pockets, a shy expression on his face. “Uh, yeah. It’s me. I go by Fushiguro now.” 
You look between him and Megumi, spotting the similarities instantly. The jet-black hair, the same-colored eyes, almost identical facial structure. A spitting image of his father, who stands before you, much bigger than when you last saw him, but certainly the same boy who’s grown into a man. There isn’t time to catch up as your students file in, greeting their new classmate politely at his desk. Toji clears his throat, stepping aside to make room for the kids to walk in. “I’ll be back later to pick up the kid, if you want to catch up.”
The kid. You hide your giggles, pleased to hear that he still sounds like the same Toji you knew many years ago. His eyes light up at your laughter; he doesn’t remember the last time he heard a genuine one like yours. Sweet, pure, and music to his ears. 
The bell rings, and that’s his cue to leave. There isn’t much to do throughout the day, considering he is now unemployed. He’s tempted to resort to old habits and head to the racetrack to gamble on horses, but instead, he goes to the public library to use a computer, searching for job openings around the area. The day passes quickly and it’s time for him to pick up Megumi. He waits outside, watching as all the other children run towards their parents, most of whom eye him with wary expressions. He’s gotten used to lingering glances like this, aware of his intimidating presence. It doesn’t bother him anymore; he’s used to being seen as some sort of monster. And with what he’s done during his life as a Zenin, maybe he is. 
Megumi is the last outside, hand-in-hand with you, his teacher. You both give him a wave, your eyes twinkling with kindness and a bright smile. You’re the only one who looks at Toji like this. The only one who sees him as human. When you approach him, he places his hand on Megumi’s head, ruffling his hair. “How was it?” 
His son grins, giving his father a thumbs up. 
“You made some new friends, right Megumi?” you say, squeezing his hand. “What are their names?”
In his squeaky voice, he replies, “Yuji and Nobara.”
Toji smirks. “Friends already? That’s great, bud. I knew you’d like it here.” 
Megumi lets go of you, holding onto his dad’s wrist. “Yuji said he’s getting ice cream down the street with his grandpa. Can we go too?”
“Of course,” Toji responds. He looks to you, tipping his head to the side. “Want to join us?”
~~~
You’re sitting in a booth across from the Fushiguros, who share the biggest chocolate fudge sundae they could order off the menu. Eventually, Megumi spots his new pink-haired friend and asks if they can play at the mini arcade together in the back of the shop, to which Toji agrees, passing him money. Now, you’re alone with him, hundreds of questions you want to ask, but are too nervous to. You sip on your milkshake, unsure where to begin. 
Fortunately, he speaks first. “Did you stay in Tokyo this entire time?” 
You shake your head. “I went to university overseas, then I moved back.”
“Overseas, huh? Sounds fun,” he muses, scooping a big bite into his mouth. 
“How about you? Where did you go?” The last memory you have of him is the distraught look on his face, after you shared a kiss together. The next day, he was gone. 
He licks the back of his spoon, collecting all the chocolate off. “Here and there. But mostly there.”
“You were still in Tokyo?” You try not to sound outraged. Deep down, you’re hurt by the way the two of you parted. And if he was truly here all along, you’re even more upset, knowing he had all this time to apologize. Years and years, you wondered if all the little moments you shared together were just that, or something more. Even now, finally meeting him in the flesh, you’re uncertain where you stand with him. 
He senses your uneasiness, sitting up straight to explain. “The Zenins relocated to a more remote location up in the mountains in order to carry out their dirty deeds. I dropped out of school and started working full time as their lackey. I was often sent to Tokyo for duties.” He spreads his fingers, presenting his hands towards you, calloused and scarred from overwork and guilt. “I’ve done things that I am not proud of. Hurt people that didn’t deserve it. I didn’t want to do it, but at the time, I had no other choice.”
You listen to him intently, sipping on your milkshake slowly, giving him your undivided attention as he continues his story. 
“Me and Megumi’s mom had an arranged marriage. The Zenins wanted me to produce an heir once my father’s health started to decline. She was a kind woman, the closest thing I had to an escape. But still, the both of us were trapped. It didn’t matter that we had each other; we were both under the wills of our families.”
“After a few months of trying, she got pregnant. Our lives felt normal during this time. Like we were a regular family. Me, her, Megumi in her belly. My father left us alone. He wanted to make sure I was taking good care of her so that our son would come out strong and healthy. And he did. He was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” 
Toji takes a deep breath, the both of you anticipating this next part. “It was a home birth, per my father’s request. I should have said something from the start, but I didn’t think anything would go wrong. After Megumi was delivered, the bleeding wouldn’t stop.” He swallows hard, throat tight with emotion. “And by the time the ambulance arrived, she was gone.”
He avoids your gaze, staring hard at the metal container filled with napkins on the side of the table. You’re tempted to reach for his hand, to offer comfort, but you decide against it, deeming it inappropriate. 
“My family couldn’t care less. All that mattered to them is that they had their new heir. They didn’t even cry when she passed away.” His jaw is clenched tight, hands in fists, trembling against the table’s surface. “Heartless bastards, all of them. I should have left with Megumi then, but I didn’t. I was a fucking coward, too scared to face the world alone. And with a little baby at that.”
“Why did you decide to finally leave?” you ask.
“They were going to start training Megumi how to fight. He’s only five-years-old, for fuck’s sake. He’s the gentlest, sweetest kid, and they want him to become like me. I didn’t want that. I don’t want Megumi to have the life I did, not if I can help it.” He unclenches his fists, relaxing into his seat, spooning whatever melted ice cream remains into his mouth. 
You lean forward, resting your elbows on the table. “Why did you decide to come back here?”
He doesn’t respond right away, pretending to be preoccupied with the swirly mess of sweet cream in front of him. He contemplates how best to explain himself. If he admits the truth, it may come off too strong. The reason he’s returned home is because of you. The photo of you and him smiling on the beach a decade ago is in his pocket, wrinkled and faded from years of yearning. He had dreamt of this day ever since he left, hoping the next time you reunite, he’ll be free of the Zenin name. Free to do as he pleases, free to love who he wants. And now that day has come, he’s just as nervous as he expected he'd be. 
Not wanting to make a fool of himself, he says, “I know this area well. Figured it’d be a good place for us to start fresh.” 
You smile at him. “If you and Megumi ever need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’d like to help you in any way I can.”
“Megumi is a good kid. Quiet, but good. He doesn’t give me any trouble, so he makes it easy.”
“So nothing like his father, then?” you tease, raising a brow at him.
He chuckles. “Like I said, I’ll make sure of that.”
You reach for him, resting your hand on top of his. “You’re not all bad. You’re pretty great, remember?”
Instantly, you’re taken back ten years ago, moments before that kiss. Electricity sparks between you; his hand shifts beneath yours, his palm turned up now, fingertips brushing lightly against the delicate skin of your wrist. He gazes at you, smiling. The prominent scar across his lips more titillating than it’s ever been before. “Yeah, I remember.”
Before either of you can do anything more, Megumi returns to the table, head drenched in sweat, breathing heavily. He grabs the water cup on the table, chugging it aggressively, wiping his mouth with the hem of his t-shirt, fresh from a rousing game of Dance Dance Revolution against his new best friend.
~~~
Toji picks up Megumi every single day after school. He’s adamant about it, claiming it’s important for him to spend as much time with his son as possible, something he never experienced growing up. He accepts a job in construction, working early morning shifts in order to be outside the school steps promptly. 
A few nights a week, he invites you to their apartment for dinner, where you help him cook simple recipes like fried rice or noodles, even little treats like rice balls for Megumi’s school snack. This Thursday night, you stay until bedtime, watching from the doorway as Toji tucks in his son, a small grin on his face, studying the way his eyelashes flutter into a deep slumber. Sound asleep, he sneaks out, closing the door quietly.
You check the time on your phone, disappointed that it’s getting late. “I should head home.”
He walks you to the exit. “Megumi is going to Yuji’s house for a sleepover tomorrow night.”
So far, Toji has kept his distance from you, though you’ve notice subtle glances here and there. You haven’t exactly been forward yourself, too nervous to make the first move or misunderstand what could be friendship and nothing more. Toji feels the same way, unsure if his feelings are reciprocated or if you’re simply this nice of a person. Hopefully, it’s both.  
Your heart beats faster, not sure what you’re supposed to do with this information, waiting for him to elaborate. He clears his throat. “I want to take you out to dinner, to thank you for all that you’ve done for us.”
“You really don’t have to.”
“I want to,” he insists, smiling. 
The following night, he arrives at your house, dressed in a flattering button-up and slacks, greeting your parents formally for the first time in over a decade. They remember him fondly, excited to see him all grown-up. He takes you to a restaurant downtown, ordering the most popular items on the menu to share between you, enjoying each other’s company as you always do. After dessert, he invites you to his house for a nightcap, and you’re a little too keen when you agree. While you wait for the water to boil in the tea kettle, you sit beside him on the couch, looking through pictures of him and Megumi on his phone. 
“We went to the beach the first weekend we moved in,” he says, showing a selfie of the two of them sitting on the sand. 
You nudge him in the arm with your elbow. “Remember that school project?”
He grins, leaning into you. “How could I forget?” He glances at your lips, then into your eyes, inching even closer. You gravitate towards him, holding your breath, ready to kiss. Then, the tea kettle whistles, ruining the moment. 
Chuckling, he stands up to remove it from the stove. You sit back into the couch, sighing, body tingling and flustered. He returns shortly with a hot mug of tea in his hands, setting it on the coffee table. “You should let it cool. It’s too hot right now.” He sinks into the cushion beside you, knee brushing yours. 
“Did you like me back? When we first kissed?” It’s one of the many questions still unanswered, and you decide that now is the best time to find out the truth. 
He smiles, grasping your hand gently. “Yes.”
You lock your fingers with his, filling in the spaces seamlessly. “Then why did you lie to me?”
“I didn’t think it’d be safe for you to be associated with me. Not while I was still a Zenin.” He pulls you forward, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders, noses nearly touching now. 
“And where’s the picture of us?” you whisper, nuzzling your nose to his, wanting so badly to close the distance. 
“I took it. I’ve had it this whole time,” he admits, brushing his lips to yours. You kiss him fully, his grip around your waist, no signs of letting you go anytime soon. You make love to each other right there on his couch, your hot tea forgotten on the coffee table, cold by the time you remember it the next morning. 
For the first time in his life, Toji doesn’t feel dangerous. He doesn’t feel like a monster or a threat. As he marvels at your peaceful form cradled delicately in his arms, Toji Fushiguro feels normal. He feels loved.
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poursomesunaonme · 1 year
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taste you still !
pairing: miguel o'hara x fem!reader
summary: you've been the o'hara's babysitter for quite some time; miguel thinks it's time for a raise!
wc: 4k
a/n: i have nothing to say for myself - i wrote this in two hours off two glasses of wine LMAO
cw: minors dni (pls have ur age in ur bio)!, age gap (reader is in college), drinking (clear for consent tho), pet names (sweetheart, bunny, conejita, little girl), doggy, oral (fem and male receiving), handjob, 69, biting, edging, scratching, size kink, overstim, nipple play, squirting, modified missionary, finger sucking, unprotected sex, creampie, aftercare!
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the tv flickers idly across the room as you fiddle with the hem of your skirt.  gabriella had been asleep for a few hours.  glancing at your phone, you find it’s just past midnight.  it’s a warm, friday summer night.  a soft drizzle begins to come down outside.
classes just finished for the summer.  if it had been any other friday, you’d be out at bars tearing it up with your friends.  however, the single dad you nanny for called you in last minute.  you didn’t mind.
the moist rainy air from the outside defeats the advances of the air conditioner, and it’s beginning to get hot in the living room where you sit.  you’re thankful for wearing light clothes, as it helps with the heat beginning to settle. the warmth and the sound of the rain to help your body settle, and you begin to doze off.
you jump as the lock clicks, signaling the return of your employer.  you clear your throat and check your phone before putting it down, acting like you were watching whatever animal documentary was on the tv.  
2:26am had blinked across your screen.  the father enters the house with a quiet sigh, locking the door behind him.
“hi, mr. o’hara,” you say lightly as he hangs his coat and shakes his umbrella before putting it in a plastic bag to dry off.
“hey, sweetheart,” he says, trying to keep the noise down to keep from waking his daughter as he kicks off his shoes, too tired to care if they land strewn across the floor.
“how was your night?” 
“i need a drink.” he chuckles, his footsteps receding into the kitchen to assuage his desire.  “do you want one?”
he had never offered you a drink before.  of course, you’re of age - it was just uncommon, given your position in his family.  
“i, uh…” you stumble over your words.  “sure.  please.  it’s been a long day.”
“i hope gabriella didn’t give you much trouble.”  the crackling sound of ice breaking under an expensive scotch drifts from the kitchen.
“no, she was great.  she just… she missed you.”
the words unspoken scream that you did as well, but you ignore them.  it was delusional to think of him that way, but you couldn’t help yourself for that split second.  it was rare to spend more than ten minutes with him when you helped him out with nannying - there was no reason for you to feel such an emotion.
“yeah… i missed her too.”
some underlying meaning laces his choice of words.  the sound of his footsteps alert you to his presence before he reaches over the couch from behind you to offer you the glass.  you jump slightly, but accept it.  he sits heavily next to you, the couch creaking under his sudden weight.  you both take a heavy sip of the drink.  it slightly burns your throat, but you manage to choke it down anyway.
you’re aware of his identity, as it was necessary to be privy to such matters when taking care of his daughter.  you had detailed protocols to follow in case of such emergencies and the like, but that didn’t mean that you would ask about his mission.  you assumed the subject was off limits, and that strategy kept you in good graces with the man.  instead, he asks you about how the end of your school was, if there was any issue in securing an apartment for the next semester, mundane things and the like.
you answer all of his questions politely.  as much as you want to inquire about his missions, you refrain from doing so. he finishes his drink in no time, asking if you’d like another.  you eye your drink then finish the whole thing, handing the empty glass back to him.
you swear he mutters “good girl” under his breath.  it makes your stomach churn in a way you could have never imagined.
when he sits next to you with the drinks refreshed, it’s much closer.  you feel the heat radiating off his body.  the alcohol begins to course through your veins, and you can’t control the way your body easily gravitates toward him.  you struggle against the muffling feeling, struggle to keep control of your body that so badly wants to be pressed against his.
“oh, did i make a mistake?” he murmurs when he notices your proximity.  “want me to order you an uber?”
“no, no, mr. o’hara.” you shake off his offer.  “i’m okay.  thank you though.”
he pauses, swishing the alcohol in the glass before downing it swiftly.  “in that case, i’m gonna go shower.  you can leave if you’d like, or you can strip down naked and wait for me in bed.”
so i can finally fucking ravage you is the ending that he wishes to add, but he doesn’t want to scare you.
you’re taking a sip as he speaks, nearly spitting your drink out at his proposition.  however, you keep your composure and say nothing as he finishes his drink in one swift gulp and gets up from the couch, leaving a shivering feeling through your skin.
the second he leaves earshot, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding. 
you’re fucked.
it’s like he knows the way you look at him in those minute moments when he leaves and returns from work. it’s like he knows that you continuously brag to your friends about how handsome he was.  it’s like he knows that you’ve said countless times that you’d jump him if you were ever given the chance.
but that was all just a silly little crush.  you never imagined that he would actually give you the opportunity.
he’d made you an offer you’d be downright stupid to refuse.
which is how you end up splayed in his bed, the cool air of the bedroom chilling your skin.  it was the obvious choice.  your chest rises and falls with anticipation.  the hopes of the man following through with his lewd offer brings on an ever-quickening heart rate.  you adjust your position again and again, hoping that each following pose will please him more than the last and help assuage the nervous feeling gnawing in your gut.
just as you chose the simple option to lay back against the pillows with your legs folded delicately together to one side, the shower turns off.  miguel doesn’t even bother drying off before he emerges from the bathroom in a dramatic billow of steam, wet gray-streaked hair tumbling into his face.  small droplets of water roll off his naked body and splatter against the floor.  the musky scent of his body wash hits your nose.  it makes you dizzy.  combined with the sight of him and the heavy alcohol rushing through your bloodstream, you’re completely susceptible to whatever plans he has in store.  you lose your breath at the sight of his tan, toned body approaching you.
“get on your hands and knees.”  the way he commands you is almost a detached sigh.  you don’t hesitate to obey, however.  without thinking, you get up from the position to poise yourself at the end of the bed in the way he ordered.  your heart speeds up, pounding against your ribcage.  this position already?  skipping to the main event?  you aren’t complaining, just surprised.
that feeling of surprise continues when you hear his knees heavily drop to the floor and his hands cup the globes of your ass and spread them apart.  the cold air hits that warm center and you gasp.  you gasp because the feeling is surprising and his lips press between your folds and you gasp because he groans so deeply at the first taste of you.
you’re fucked.
he takes no time to begin diving into every inch of your cunt.  you clutch at the bedsheets, wincing at the cold droplets from his hair running down the back of your thighs.
“mr… mr. miguel.”  you squeak, unable to muster up the brainpower to say anything else.  he works like it’s necessary for him to keep breathing, like he can’t wait to do anything else, like he’s starving, and you’re the first meal he’s come across in days.  
“is this okay?”  he finally pulls back, drawing a gasp from your lips at the cold air hitting that warm place again.  “just can’t… fuck… hold myself back.”
you make the mistake of craning your neck to meet his eyes at his panting candor.  his face just barely hovers above your ass, hands still spreading you apart.  you gulp at the sight of the shimmer of your essence on his lips.  he pants heavily, broad shoulders heaving with the force of his breath.  his eyes are gleaming, his pupils blown out with lust.  he looks fucking crazy, hair tumbling into his face.
you can feel your face heat up at the sight of him, feel your expression fall as you acknowledge again and again and again: you’re fucked.
a nod is all you can manage to urge him to continue.  you turn around and focus on the shiny silk pillows to ground yourself, bracing for the impact.
he merely grunts and dives back between your legs, splattering the last few drops remaining from his dewy skin onto you.  it takes everything in you not to collapse when he begins working with an increased fervor.  apparently, your words gave him great encouragement, as he intensified the movements, even daring to remove his lips from your folds to plant heavy, open-mouthed kisses on the backs of your thighs - and even daring to nip at the sensitive skin. 
before you know it, you sink down into the comforter, fingers whitening in a death grip on the sheets for support.  miguel doesn’t seem to notice - he’s too lost in the feeling of the increasing warmth on his tongue, of the blood rushing to where your body deems it to be.
just as you’re about to finish, he pulls back.  it draws a whimper from you, but before you can utter a word of complaint, he straightens up and begins to rub his length between the sticky wetness that welcomes him.  you whimper at the feeling, pushing your hips back against him as an invitation inside.  he wastes no time in accepting, pushing into you once he’s amply coated. 
your eyes bulge out of your head and you cry out a stilted moan as he doesn’t stop - not until he’s fully sheathed in you.  you sink down fully into the mattress, only supported by his hands when they grasp your waist to hold your lower body upright.  the beginnings of claws begin to poke into the meat of your hips.  overwhelming feelings circulate through every part of your body.  your mind begins to fog over.  you can’t differentiate the feeling from the alcohol or the pleasure; they work in tandem.
he doesn’t waist time to begin thrusting into you, more surely than he’s done anything in his life.  the rhythm is slow, but deep, and it drives you over the edge in no time.  since he left you hanging from the ministrations of his mouth, the movements of his length deep within you shove you over the precipice of pleasure.
“miguel… please, don’t stop.”  you whimper.  your eyes roll into the back of your head and you feel a great weight press into your back.  his lips appear on the shell of your ear.
“don’t hold back for me, bunny,” is the whisper.  “let go.”
you do as you're told, whimpers muffled against the mattress as you give into the pleasure, squeezing and convulsing around his length.  he licks behind your ear before nibbling on the lobe, drawing an extended moan that takes your breath away.  you can’t muster up any words - no praise, no thanks.  just incoherent sounds that express the feelings that you can’t articulate with the onslaught of pressure.
"mi conejita..."
miguel continues to rut into you like a wild animal.  his body presses flush against your back as his hips move, only going deeper and deeper as he jerks them back and forth.  there’s no relief, no breaks you get from his demanding size, from his desire to puncture you deeper and deeper until he finds his own sense of relief.
just as you finish, you think there will be a moment in the trembling of your legs that miguel will spare you.  however, you’re wrong.  the feeling of you constricting around him ignites a new passion in him, one that results in his lips meeting your neck, your shoulders, your back - one that draws his teeth into your skin.
a gasp escapes at the feeling of him nibbling on that sensitive skin, of the feeling of his hips continuing to mercilessly ram into yours.  you don’t want him to stop.  your hands clutch as the sheets, begging for some stability from the bed, but it doesn’t come.
instead, miguel’s hands wrap around your chest to pull you up as he straightens up.  his grip tigthens as you settle pressed against his sweating, heavily chest.  when you’re secured, his hands begin to move.  first and foremost, they grab your chin to face him and without hesitation, his lips crash against yours.  his fingers squeeze your jaw to pry it open and his tongue shoves down your throat.  you whimper against him.  he eats the sound whole.
his hands don’t stop once they leave your chin, trusting that your lips won’t leave his.  they reach down to pinch and pull your nipples, wander down to rub slow circles into your poor overstimulated clit.  the sound of his hips slapping against your raw skin is overwhelming, you can’t help but lean back into his chest for support, his tongue still craving the inside of your mouth.  he grunts in surprise when you start to suck his tongue desperately.  the sound simmers in his chest as he chuckles.
“you’re gonna be the death of me, little girl.”
you find yourself smiling, find yourself squeezing him as he moves inside, threatening to tear your insides apart.
“fuck,” he moans into your mouth.  “christ, you’re tight.”
you moan and whine into his mouth, and he devours those sounds as well.  the vibrations only spur him forward, only egg him on to continue ramming his hips into your body.  his fingers rub unceasingly against your increasingly sensitive clit.
“i’m gonna-” you manage to slur around his overpowering tongue and teeth.  “i’m gonna cum again.”
he groans, lowly and long.  it’s a lewd sound, one that sends all the heat from your body straight down between your legs.  it’s an encouragement, one that sends you over the edge within a split second.  you moan, legs shaking as you begin to collapse onto the bed again.  you can’t help the weakness, can’t help the fact that your legs turn to jelly as he rams into you with want and need that you can’t even begin to fathom.
you squeal as a fresh spurt of juices flow from your cunt, flow around his length, and down your inner thighs.
he swears again at the sensation of liquid beginning to run down his length, trickling down his own legs.  “shit… shit… i-i need that.  i need you to do that again.”
he pants and pulls out.  you gasp at the empty feeling, but he doesn’t give you much time to process it fully before he lays down on the bed and snatches your waist, pulling you over to align your hips with his face.  before you can utter a word of objection or acceptance, he yanks you into his face, burying himself in the warm grave of your cunt.
you throw your head back and moan weakly, tired and overstimulated from the last orgasms, but he doesn’t stop.  his ministrations are unyielding, even when you plant your hands against his hips to steady yourself.  his hard length stands in front of you, just barely out of reach of your mouth.  you can’t help yourself from drooling at the sight, of precum spilling from the tip and mixing with your juices that still dribble down the veins.
you try to move forward, but he pulls your hips back stubbornly, shoving his tongue into you.  you whimper, opting you reach your hand out to wrap around and pump his length until you can get your mouth on the impressive sight.  he slows as he realizes what you want to do.  he knows how much bigger he is than you.  he slides up the pillows to sit up, closing the distance between you and your prize until your lips suckle on the tip, drawing a hiss from him.  as if an attempt to silence the sound, his teeth sink into your asscheck.
“fuck,” you groan as the teethmarks in your skin join the bitemarks he left on your neck, back, and shoulders, still fresh and throbbing.  you attempt to shake off the feeling and start to bob your mouth up and down on his length, drooling over the musky taste of his precum when your tongue trails down the base, every vein drawn like a map under your tongue.
he doesn’t let you indulge yourself for long before he jerks your hips back against his face once more, drawing your mouth from his length with a soft pop.  you moan in indignation, attempting to lunge back to continue your work.  however, miguel’s grip on your hips, the nails beginning to dig in the muscles, successfully stops you.
instead, you pump down his shaft, hoping that you’re pleasing him as much as he’s pleasing you.  another wave of pleasure rolls over you, and you can’t help but whine at the vibration of miguel’s moans as he gulps down the juices that flow heartily from your center.  his dick twitches in your palm.
“please…” you whimper.  “please fuck me… please…”
“no” is the simple answer.  “you’re cumming on my face, mi conejita.” 
your cheeks heat at his unashamed lewdness, at how he so easily expresses his desire for you.  how long had he been feeling his way?  how long had he wanted to ravish you like this?  he seems so resigned to his desires that he just can’t help himself anymore.
he gets his wish soon enough, pulling you so far onto him that his nose dips into your entrance, triggering an explosion of pleasure within you.  he groans as your legs begin to shake around his face, as you give up on pumping his shaft because you can’t focus on anything else but not losing your mind at how good he makes you feel. 
miguel doesn’t give you a reprieve in his agenda, slapping your ass twice to signal a position change before you can even catch your breath.
“get up,” he growls, and you obey.  he pushes you down on the bed in his place - the pillows are still warm from where he sat, still damp from the juices running freely down his face and jawline to soak the sheets.  without hesitation, he grips your calves and throws them over his shoulders.  you’re completely powerless underneath him when he pushes into you fully, not waiting a split second to begin ramming into you, even deeper than before.
it’s nearly unbearable, especially when he grabs your wrists, crosses them with a single hand, and holds them over your head before his lips crash onto yours.  your moans pour into his mouth, and he takes them without a second thought, returning them with equal fervor.  each pound of his hips forces water droplets from his damp hair onto your shaking body.  the way he presses down into you, the way the weight of him presses your thighs against your chest, the stretch aching, the opening angle of your hips for him to ram deeper into your warmth… it’s too much.
tears bead at the corners of your eyes when you open them to find him watching your face, even as he’s shoving his tongue down your throat.  you feel the corners of his mouth turn up into a smile at the sight of you so weak with want, with desire.  he looks fucking feral.
he pulls back, watching your reaction as he turns his head to press sloppy kisses to your calves, nipping at the skin.  welting bumps appear under his mouth, like he’s decorating you in just the fashion he likes.  when he’s finished, his lips crash onto yours again.  he doesn’t stop, doesn’t show mercy, not even when you’re babbling for him to continue, to push you over the edge once more.
“i gotta…” he pants, finally drawing back from your lips to examine your whole body shaking against the rough motion of his hips bulldozing into you.  a single line of spit still joins your lips.  “i gotta taste you still… fuck.”
he thinks for a moment before his fingers dive between your folds, gathering an ample amount of essence before he raises them to your mouth, spreading the liquid across your lips.  you can barely function at the lewd sight, even when he presses his fingers into your mouth, leading your tongue to swish around them and lap up every last drop.  his face contorts when your lips close around his digits, sucking his digits dry.
his mouth crashes against yours, exploring every bud in your mouth with renewed fervor at the flavor of your cunt all throughout your mouth.  you realize he had let go of your hands and you use the freedom to latch your nails into his back, clawing it to ribbons.  he thrusts into you with refreshing vigor, spurred by the satisfaction of your taste, at your nails sinking into his skin, and the warm, pulsing feeling of your cunt around his length at the same time.  he doesn’t last long, doesn’t make it much more time before he moans and whimpers into your mouth, warm cum spilling into you.  he removes his mouth from your kiss bitten lips and opts to bite into your neck, so hard you’re afraid you’ll bleed - but it’s enough to send you tumbling over the edge with him.  but it doesn’t matter, not when he’s groaning against you, fucking the last bit of himself into you, slowing his hips more and more.
when he’s finally finished, you squeeze your arms around him, removing your nails from his skin, welcoming him an embrace for him to collapse into.  he accepts the invitation graciously, his full weight pressing upon you as your legs fall from their position on either side of his hips.
he sighs into your neck, into the satisfying feeling of his cum beginning to ooze from your warmth, down your ass, spilling onto the bed.  there’s a few moments of wordlessness, the only sound echoing the room is breathless panting.
“well, consider this payment for watching gabi tonight?”
you laugh at his offhanded comment that breaks the silence and press a kiss onto his heaving shoulders.
“no, i’m still expecting the same rate.”
“in this economy?  times are changing, sweetheart.”  he raises his head to meet your eyes as you laugh.  “i hear this is the new salary.  don’t tell me you’re that opposed.”
“i’m not… of course not.”  you laugh nervously.  he chuckles at the sight of you getting so flustered.  he swiftly rises, pulling out of you so fast that you barely have time to process it before he gets warm rags and towels from the bathroom.
he comes back and kisses your forehead gently, wiping the residue of the wild night from your body.  it’s a tender gesture, one that you didn’t expect from the rugged creature.  however, it’s not unwelcome.
“well, if you’d like to stick with me, i’m sure there will be some benefits in the future, if you’re willing to stay on.”  he pauses and grins.  “and it’ll be nice to have you here in bed in case i get called out in the middle of the night. you always sound so pissed at me when i call to wake you up.”  
he dries off your wet skin with a towel before letting all of the material fall to the ground, forgotten.  his body curls around you, the overwhelming size and warmth of him surrounding you.
you smirk, letting out a giggle at the continuation of the joke, heat pooling in your cheeks from the easy closeness he pursues with you.  “of course, mr. o’hara.  i don’t think anyone else could match such a wonderful deal.”
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aro-culture-is · 1 month
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hey all. been quite a while. we recently moved cities, quit our job that was beyond our physical ability, and are about to try to finish our degree in materials science and engineering...
and we're thinking we're gonna try again with this blog. the 700 asks are a little too intimidating of backlog though, so we've decided that we're gonna mass delete prior asks (excluding the one submitted today? fun fact you were the first since uh. january i think) and see how it goes. no promises.
a few things we want to reiterate if you want to submit stuff:
aro in the title is short for the aromantic community as a whole, including anyone aro spectrum, questioning folks, or anyone asking good faith questions about these things. a great resource for questions about words is AUREA.
be nice. to others, obviously, but also to yourselves please! I don't mean that you can't vent ever, but tbh... the huge amount of "aro culture is [hating yourself/others/being aro/etc]" was why we burnt out on this blog. there were so many self-hating things that were being sent in, and there's a limit to how much of that someone can handle. especially a multiply disabled, queer, trans, college-dropout service worker.
as we've said before, the point of this blog was never serious. it was a gimmick blog for funny things. serious stuff is okay, but like... please be silly! have fun. aro culture is green :)
if you truly feel a trigger tag is necessary, and it cannot be filtered on your end, please for the love of everything tell me a damn tag to use. ie, 'spiders cw'
we are radically inclusive for all good faith identities. there is strength in solidarity, and infighting about shit like 'validity' or 'making sense [to you/outsiders]' reeks of respectability politics. be annoying somewhere else, or better yet, consider what is the most materially useful thing you can do to make your IRL community better today. some ideas: call your senators or representatives about an issue, create a group chat for your apartment building so folks can get to know their neighbors, volunteer for an event in your area. Learn about deradicalization, deescalation, and community building. Build a strong community.
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