#daddy bandit makes a return

[bokutosbiceps]

ten years later

monkey d garp x afab!reader | fluff + smut | ~2.4k words

warnings: SPOILER ALERT FOR MARINEFORD, suggestive themes + smut throughout !! use of daddy/baby girl, blow jobs, vaginal sex, hair pulling, dirty talk, cum trapping, creampie

a/n: everyone stfu okay i KNOW he’s 78 yo but HOT DAMN this grandpa could rUIN MY SHIT. RUIN IT. idgaf. anyways, happy birthday to my favorite sugar daddy 🥳😍🤤

18+ MDNI

you had first met garp when he had dragged luffy from windmill village. you had seen an angry man, pinching the rubber cheek of the town’s notorious future king of the pirates and taking the child off to the mountains. everyone was giggling at the banter of the two as they set on the path to the mountains, but you were just staring at the broad back of the silver haired man.

“who's that?” you had whispered to makino. she just giggled at you.

“that’s garp, he's luffy’s grandfather and a vice admiral in the marines.”

you cocked your eyebrow in disbelief, watching as garp argued with luffy like he was also seven years old. you chuckled.

“that man’s a vice admiral in the marines?”

you were fascinated and a bit smitten with him. the silver hair on his head ending in a pointed widow’s peak on his forehead, shaggy hair of the same color above and below his lips, and his broad shoulders and chest. you were young, an adult but still young, and he clearly wasn't. 

nonetheless, you had waited for him to come back down from the mountain, watching the docks for his return everyday after he ascended the mountain. your patience had been fruitful, and you had run out to meet garp as he was untethering a smaller fishing boat from the docks. he had a bag with him.

“where's luffy?” you had asked breathlessly, your hair wind whipped from the way you ran. garp looked up at you with an amused grin, straightening himself to tower over you.

“dropped him off with some friends, they'll take care of him.” garp looked you up and down. “you know him?”

“of course, everyone in town knows him.” you grin back. “though, right now, i'm more interested in getting to know his grandpa.”

garp’s eyebrows rose in smug surprise. “me?” he stepped off the fishing boat, the wood creaking in protest beneath his weight as he stepped onto the deck to get a closer look at you. “and why’s a pretty young thing like you wanting to get to know an old man like me?”

the way garp had looked at you that day made you confess everything to him. you offered him your house, your bed, your body, whatever he wanted whenever he came back to windmill village. he had just laughed loudly, patting your head with a huge grin on his face.

“wait ten years,” he had told you, “and if you're still interested, I'll show you a good time.”

everyone is silent. the mountain bandit who had raised luffy and ace is unleashing her anger on garp and makino is standing beside you as you both watch in horror. the man you had come to know and love is sitting and taking it, a shameful look on his face.

eventually, makino steps in to split up the fight and you grab garp’s hand and take him to your home, a place he had visited many times over the past ten years. but only for food or drink or conversation, or even an overnight stay on your couch. 

garp is passive as you drag him to your living room and sit him down on the couch. you ruminate on what he had done, why everyone is mad at him, all while you make some tea for the both of you. you cover the bottom of garp’s cup with honey, just like you knew he loves it, and hand the steaming cup to him.

after a while, he speaks. “you're not mad at me?” he asks quietly, rubbing his fingers over the tea cup. 

you purse your lips and think for a moment. “don't get me wrong, i miss ace already but…” you sit next to him on the couch and venture to rest your head on his shoulder. “i also know how much you love him, and how hard it must’ve been on you… to be torn between your family and your duty like that.” you sigh and wrap your fingers around his thick forearm. “but after all these years, i could never stay mad at you.”

garp grunts and sets his tea down onto your coffee table, craning his neck to look at you. you give him a reassuring smile and the corner of his mouth quirks up in response. “ten years, actually.”

“what?”

“it's been ten years.” the roughness of garp’s palm meets the heat of your cheek and he shifts just slightly so that his lips are right in front of yours. “i know it's a weird time to ask this but...do ya still feel the same way you did ten years ago? do ya still want an old man like me?”

all you can do is utter the beginning of your confirmation before garp’s mustache is scratching against your upper lip. his lips are rough and heavy against yours, and he immediately pulls you into his lap. your hands immediately find purchase on garp’s cut jaw as you allow him to dominate your lips.

after getting your first taste of the weathered vice admiral, you couldn’t hold yourself back anymore. you keep your lips pressed to his as your hands reach for his waist and fumble with his belt buckle, successfully undoing it and popping open the button of his pants. 

garp chuckles against your lips and wraps your hair in his fist, pulling your head back and away from him. “why so eager, baby girl?” he slides the heel of his hand against your waist and squeezes the plush flesh there.

“you made me wait ten years…” you pant, your eyes glazed over with lust and desire and need that makes garp’s cock twitch in his underwear. the corner of his mouth curls downward as he thinks for a moment.

it’s been a while since he’d been intimate with anyone, let alone a pretty and eager young thing like you. so before he can talk himself out of it, he grabs you by the back of your neck and brings you to his lips again. he growls softly as he feels your nimble fingers working at the buttons of his shirts and then smooth over his broad chest sprinkled with grey hairs. 

he holds your hips down to his own tightly, grinding up against you to feel that delicious friction he’d wanted to feel with you for so long. you break away from his lips, moving your lips to his ear and nibbling at the skin just below it. you press messy, open mouthed kisses down his neck and chest.

garp lets his grip on your hips loosen as you push his shirt off his shoulders and keep kissing your way down his body, stopping at the hem of his underwear. you pull at the elastic with your teeth and look up at him. “c-can i taste you, daddy?” you ask shyly, a bit of drool leaking out of the corner of your mouth.

garp swallows thickly, reaching down to rub his thumb across your bottom lip then open your mouth. yeah, he’s not gonna be able to hold himself back.

“daddy, eh?” garp lets out a belly laugh, making you pout up at him. you were getting impatient, so you tentatively pulled his underwear down just enough to release him. the heaviness of his cock prevented the tip from slapping against his belly, and droplets of his pre cum sprayed across your face. you lick your lips and kneel on the ground before him, licking one long stripe up from his base to his tip. garp bucks against your lips involuntarily, angling his head down to watch you kiss and lick at his erection. 

he grits his teeth and wraps your hair in his fist again, making you look up at him. “you’re sure about this ain’t’cha?”

“very. have been for the past ten years.” you say hurriedly, looking up at the vice admiral with pleading eyes. garp watches the way you’re clenching your thighs together, and he can’t help but notice the little bit of his precum dripping down your chin.

“well, if ya want it so bad, go ahead and take it.” garp grunts, pushing the back of your head down so his weeping tip pokes the back of your throat. you open your eyes and notice he’s barely halfway in your mouth, so you squeeze your eyes shut once more and inhale deeply as you try to press your nose to his pelvis. garp lets out a deep moan, letting his hand rest on the back of your head but no longer pushing down. “that’s it, baby girl, suck like you mean it…”

garp’s hips snap up to meet your lips as you suck him off, and he can’t help but marvel at your hollowed cheeks and tearful eyes. the little moans and mewls you’re making send vibratory waves of pleasure from his tip to his balls and he pulls your head back, his cock being released from your mouth with a slick pop.

you’re about to whine in protest when garp stands up abruptly, bending down to wrap his arms behind your knees and lifting you up against him. he kicks off his pants and underwear and walks with you to your bedroom, throwing you down onto the bed and climbing onto you immediately. 

his brute strength knows no bounds as he practically rips your clothes off, mumbling a half assed ‘sorry’ followed by a promise to buy you new clothes. you don’t care much, though, since you’re only focused on the way garp’s lips and teeth are worrying at your skin. 

“need you on my cock, baby girl.” he rasps between kisses, stopping every once in a while to lick or teeth at your nipple while his hand squeezes your breast. his other hand reaches down and pushes your underwear down, dipping his thick fingers between your folds and shoving two inside you.

you cry out, clutching on garp’s back as he fucks you on his fingers. “i-i thought you wanted me on your cock?” you manage to ask.

“gotta stretch you out first, baby girl.” garp grins up at you before adding a third, then fourth finger until your thighs are trapping his fingers between them, clenched as your first orgasm rips through you.

garp kisses back up your body before sealing another kiss onto you lips. he kneels and grabs your thighs in his big hands, spreading then securing your legs over each of his shoulders. he stops to grin at you as he rubs his dick between your folds, gathering up your slick and shuddering at the warm and wet feel of your pussy.

“you’re so pretty, baby girl. i can’t wait to be inside ya…” garp chuckles excitedly to himself before pushing into your pussy, bottoming out in one go. you immediately arch your back and whimper, but garp is quick to soothe you with a palm to your cheek and a kiss to your neck. 

he decides it’s best to not ease into it so he draws his hips back just to snap them forward harshly, the sound of skin on skin echoing throughout your room. he leans over you and sets a blinding pace, cock pummeling into your pussy and fingers gripping your hips so tightly there will most definitely be bruises in a few hours.

“f-fuck, baby girl, you’re so tight. you’re doin’ so good for daddy…” garp chokes out, feelings his cock get squeezed every time he pulls back or pushes in. you can only lay back and let him use you, your jaw slack and your eyes half lidded as he takes over you. 

you knew somewhere in the back of your mind that garp was in a heightened emotional state right now, that this might only be something fleeting or purely sexual, but you still held onto the hope that this meant just as much to him as it did to you.

between the way your pussy was milking his cock so beautifully, and the little whispers of his name that fell from your lips, garp is cumming in seconds. he fucks you through his orgasm, twisting his hips just right to rub up against that spongey spot inside of you and bring you to your own climax.

he stays kneeling over you, his hands on either side of your head as he pants, keeping his cock sheathed inside you to ground himself. the way your walls are still fluttering around him over stimulates him, and he decides to pull out. he watches in amazement and amusement as his cum leaks out of your stretched out pussy, and he can’t help but use his fingers to stuff it back inside of you. you moan at the sensation of his thick fingers back inside you, after his cock had just blown you wide open. 

he chuckles at your fucked out expression and presses a sweet kiss to your temple, preparing to head out and find a place to stay tonight to give you your space. maybe head up the mountain, even though he’s sure dadan wouldn’t let him near her place right now.

“stay.” you mumble, using some of the last ounces of your energy to lay your hand on his shoulder and stop him. he considers it for a moment before sighing and laying back down, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you to his side. who is he to deny this woman he’d come to love after these ten years? he looks down at your face, noting your closed eyes and the small, blissful upward curl of your lips.

“was it worth the wait?” garp whispers with a chuckle as he brushes his thick fingers over your sweat matted hair.

you hum and nod, snuggling into his side and wrapping one of your legs over his hips. you’re trapping him here if it’s the last thing you do.

“good…i don't think i’ll be able to leave ya alone after this, baby girl.”

“you better never leave me alone, old man.” you mutter, making garp left out another one of this belly laughs you love so much. he squeezes you into his side and sighs.

“yes ma’am.”

taglist: @usoppsstar | @bitchimasnake-sss | idk who else to tag i'm just in my sugar daddy era so :3 hehe

[swee7dream]

ilichil as agere caregivers ! nct 127 x f!reader

warnings feminine nicknames dni if you sexualize age regression in any way . author's note i guess this is my opening to start writing cg!127 and cg!wayv ! mahae can be found here and winwin's headcanons can be found in wayv's when it's out .

moon taeil (´ ∀ ` *)

he’s just so entranced with you and age regression in general.

“wait, that’s a thing you can do?”

he can’t keep his eyes of you when you’re feeling tiny, not because he thinks you’re in trouble or anything, but because he views you as the cutest thing in the whole world!

a grandpa-like caregiver. loves pinching your cheeks and pretending to eat you up! nom nom nom

not a big title user. he’s just moonie and ur his kid! his baby :3 his precious bit of starlight

got a rocking chair just to sit in with you to sing you lullabies when you have trouble sleeping!

what’s the opposite of an iron fist? that’s taeil.

if it’s past bedtime and you’re small or you don’t want to eat a certain food on your plate, you can bet one of two things will happen: a) he just lets you do what you want or b) bribes you with a sweet treat

you can try to bribe him in return the few times he puts his foot down, but he’s surprisingly firm. he’s not a pushover by any means.

“please?” you bat your lashes at him.

“no.” the little bugger puffs his cheeks right back at you.

the worst at playing with dolls /lh

“oh no, we got kidnapped!” you gasp, moving the bingo mini figurine in your hand.

“oh no...” taeil moves bandit in his hand with a voice lacking so much emotion it’s actually impressive.

he’s doing his best. try playing pretend instead! (he likes playing doctor the most)

seo youngho (￢‿￢ )

you got him wrapped around your finger! not that he’ll ever admit it

saw a cute dress? he got it for you. your stuffie’s arm ripped? he’s learning to sew for you.

purposefully hides pieces of the puzzle you’re building and feigns innocence just to see you get mad when you find out his schemes

“how’d that happen?” he pouts, cocking his head to the side.

if he every truly upsets you, he’s quick to apologize, pulling you into his arms and leaving kisses all over your cheeks until you’re laughing again because it tickles so much and he’s holding you so tight you can’t get away!

johnny loves being called daddy! he’s your daddy and you’re his babygirl!

loves cheesy, old-fashioned nicknames like honeybun, buttercup, cupcake… he just thinks you’re sweet, is what he’s trying to say

he loves when you sit on his lap and show him the coloring pages you finished while he was gone. he’ll make up stories off them like the purple elephant that wants to be a trapeze for the circus!

another big fan of playing pretend

his favorite game is dinosaurs, stomping around the house in slow motion with an evil toothy grin. you always manage to sneak away from his t-rex arms somehow but he’ll get you one day!

but johnny isn’t just a big goof. he knows when to put his foot down and is more 50-50 with it rather than taeil’s 90-10.

“i said no. put that back, please.”

his serious voice never fails to cause a shiver up your spine, settling you down within seconds.

when you finally decided to tell johnny, it took a minute for him to understand what exactly age regression is but kept the line of communication open. very open.

once, you were at work and your screen lit up with a message notification from him reading ‘do you like pacifiers?’

you almost beat him up

lee taeyong (.❛ ᴗ ❛.)

worrywart !

doesn’t wanna make your regression feel even the slightest bit off. prioritizes your safety and comfort

at the beginning, taeyong as a cg can be seen as… a bit much

in preparation for his first time caring for you when small, he bought so many things. just anything he saw mentioned just once in all of his research of agere.

from itty bitty gear to middle/teen gear, bubu bought it all. if you don’t use any gear at all and have the ice cold heart to tell him so, you watch the color drain from his face.

poor guy

he just likes to be prepared. there’s nothing he likes more than a good plan.

cooking together is always so much fun. never lets you near the knives or heat but likes to keep you around to be his taste tester!

“what do you think, sweet pea?” “so yummy, bubu!”

loves doing crafts with you, particularly finger painting. you do it regularly, always forgetting that taeyong’s going to make you take a bath when the two of you end up with paint all over your faces and clothes

if you are allow it, taeyong is great with bathtimes !! he’s got rubber duckies and bath crayons to play with while he washes your hair.

cackles like a witch with a cauldron when adding a bathbomb to the bathtub, saying he’s preparing ‘baby soup’

“mommy, stop bein’ creepy.” “sorry, bug (っ- ‸ – ς)”

nakamoto yuta (￣ω￣)

“so yeah, it was just me and this big panther booking it down the forest to get away from this bear.” “and then?!” “i dunno i made it up :3”

an evil, evil man that takes advantage of your imagination during your tiny time to make up stories only to not finish them!

“what do you think would’ve happened next, baby?”

evil, but a good storyteller that gives you ideas for games nearly everyday you suppose….

loves playing dress up and salon

learned to do your hair! it’s an ongoing process… how did you end up with one low bun and one high? don’t ask

your breath hitches because he pulled a little too tight and he drops everything. are you okay? are you crying? he’s sorry, so so sorry. you know what? let’s have ice cream for dinner

likes listening to acid black cherry while doing your (v-kei) makeup! lets you sit on his lap when its your turn to do his

“daddy’s making you a total rockstar, baby.”

lets you draw on him! might get one (or several) of your doodles tattooed on his skin permanently just because he likes it so much

cuddling is his true life’s passion. takes out all the pillows and blankets in the house to make a pillow fort for movie nights. if he has any left over he uses them to wrap you up into a burrito

kim dongyoung （´▽｀）

just smile and wave, doyoung, smile and wave

maybe he shouldn’t have introduced you to his friends… they help add to your mischievous streak

“bunny? kangaroo! …pogo stick?” “doie… ‘s obviously you.” “me?” “yeah! when you can’t get the stuff on the top shelf at the the store so you did like this. ‘member? doie so bad at charades...” “:D ?!”

simultaneously the most competitive and worst player when it comes to video games

says he’s gonna win as you load up animal crossing like ….? okay gramps

hates when you call him that so you do it as much as possible because you live to displease

always knows the right thing to say when you’re feeling big feelings that feel only bigger when you’re small

treats you like you’re made of porcelain, his fingers delicately wiping your tears away silently.

never tells you to not cry or to stop, just tries to makes the process of feeling your emotions as easy as possible by making sure you’re drinking as much water as you’re crying out and making sure nothing could trigger you further

when you first told him about your regression you weren’t sure what his reaction was gonna be. he just stared dead at you in silence for like 8 minutes and then whispered “yeah… that makes sense” to himself

what is that supposed to mean? you know as well as i

jeong yunoh o(〃＾▽＾〃)o

he really just wants you to think he’s cool

that’s his main thing. of course, you being comfortable and happy is first, but you thinking he’s cool is a close second

most of his cg work is actually done behind the scenes; trying recipes, researching agere tips, and learning different crafts so that when you’re finally little again he can see the sweet, sweet sight of your awe

if you two planned for you to have some tiny time after a long time spent without regressing because overwhelming stress and responsibilities, you can bet on jaehyun to have organized an entire mermaid scavenger hunt in your home at a 6pm on a wednesday evening

the reward is always a ticket for something like a veggie-free night or a warm hug (he’ll give them to you whether you have one or not)

he calls them baby tickets

yes, that’s really what he calls them. yes, he chose the name himself.

there’s a reason you don’t let him name your dolls or stuffies

you tried once, this is basically how it went:

“hyunnie, what you think?” “it’s a bear… and pink… what about bearie? like strawberry and bear. bearie, haha. get it?” “…”

likes being called mister! but it’s actually rare for you to call him anything other than hyunnie

“say ‘please’ and i’ll think about it.” “please, mist-”

he’s already swiping his card

dong sicheng ♡✧( ु•⌄• )

read here (when it’s published) !

kim jungwoo (☆^ー^☆)

the silliest!!!!! how can you not love snoopy

your number one supporter in every single thing.

“the way you colored the sky with cerulean blue instead of the standard blue is just a peek into the artistic genius mind you have, my dear. how is every single art piece of yours just flawless?”

your babbles? “you don’t say! you know, i never did like that scoundrel…”

loves playing doggy! he could be cleaning around the house but if you slip that dog ear headband on him he’ll drop everything to entertain you.

he’s shattered a few plates...

he’s the most loyal friend you could have. he herds all your sheep plushies together and sniffs out the clues to help you solve the mysteries!

he also lets you doodle on his face. he’s just so easy-going it doesn’t matter what. whiskers? meow! mustache? hm, yes, it’s quite becoming of him, he thinks. you stuck some gem stickers on his cheeks? he’s an alien from the moon.

likes playing pretend much more than playing with toys.

sulky when you choose to play with your dolls rather than him. when he’s literally right there!!! your best friend :(( your buddy :((

i don’t know how else to describe this other than a dog-like caregiver

energy is always up, even when its bedtime which can be counterproductive sometimes. although? not completely? he definitely helps you tire yourself out until you’re knocked out on the couch

his nickname for you is giggles !! your giggles are his favorite thing in the whole wide world and makes sure to tell you that often.

lee minhyung (ᓀ‸ᓂ)

read here !

lee donghyuck ʕ˙Ⱉ˙‧:ʔ

read here !

extra ! ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹

cg!johnny+yuta is being hit with whiplash every two seconds because they can either be the sweetest people ever or pranksters from the deepest depth of WICKEDNESS AND DARKNESS. they always, always, always tag team too, so it’s not like you can run to one when they other is trying to tickle you to death

cg!jeno+jungwoo is what happens when a baby is left alone with an old, tired dog (jeno) and his younger brother that has all the energy in the world (jungwoo)

cg!taeyong+doyoung has the same power imbalance as djj, leaving doyoung groveling at the ground even when he’s supposed to be the one taking care of the others

[criticallyacclaimedstranger]

Fic: The Birds and the Bees

Read on Ao3

Fandom: The Last of Us (HBO)

Ship: Joel Miller x you (cishet f reader) / Ellie x Riley mention

Tags/warnings: underage child overhearing sex (but it's not weird I swear), queer thoughts, Joel is such a dad, Rough Sex, unprotected sex, piv sex, some mild dirty talk, trying to stay quiet during sex.

Summary: Ellie hears mommy (you) and daddy (Joel) have sex. I guess that's the plot.

Words: 2,257

A/N: WARNING can be a bit spoilery for episodes 6 and 7! Thanks to @rambling-in-purple for reading the Ellie part to make sure it wasn't weird <3

Ellie is almost asleep when something draws her back into the real world, and for a moment she has no idea where she is. Where did these clean sheets come from, this comfortable bed, this warmth? It takes her brain a few moments to realize that she is in Jackson, the safe haven reached yesterday. Today. What time is it?

A sound makes her sit up in bed, heartbeats quickening with growing fear. She had thought this place was safe, but that sound is definitely not reassuring. She reaches for her knife on the bedside table, just as she hears the sound again.

A creak. And it's growing rhythmical. And along with it, muffled moans.

Ellie's first instinct is that there is a fight going on in the next room. A life or death struggle between Joel, you, and a deceitful Jackson resident. Or maybe the infected finally got in? Is Jackson already overrun with infected, or did a roaming band of bandits get in?

Another creak, then a louder moan that gets cut off, and it dawns on Ellie.

Oh. Oh.

Being shown around Jackson, you seemed relaxed for the first time in, well, all the months Ellie had been with you and Joel. It was nice to see you like that, and Ellie wished that Joel could unwind a little as well, but Joel wasn't a person who did that. Maria had taken you and Ellie to the house, Joel had gone to see his brother, and returned in a huff. Ellie, in clean clothes washed hair, had gushed to him about the hot shower, but his demeanor had been so dark that she had fallen quiet. Just then, you had appeared out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, and Ellie had seen the looks you and Joel exchanged. You excused yourself to have an early night and took to your bedroom - the one you shared with Joel. Ellie didn't think twice about you two sharing: she had understood long ago what you were to each other, in addition to the protectors, family, you were to her.

But it's one thing to understand that two people love each other, and know what people in love with each other do, and actually hear it.

Conflicted, she lies back down, turns onto one side, wrapping the pillow around her head to muffle the sounds. It's too intimate, too private. It's wrong to listen to it.

Still, the reverberations travel through the wooden build of the house, and she feels them on her skin. Rolling onto her back again, she lets go of the pillow and stares up at the dark ceiling.

It's not the first time she's heard people having sex. She knows what's going on between the two of you and for what it's worth, she's happy for you. There is something so comforting about your obvious feelings for each other, and how they have spilled over onto her. Ellie knows that she was more or less forced upon you but since that night in the Boston QZ, a lot has happened. You're her family now, and she's happy that you and Joel can be safe and comfortable enough in your borrowed bedroom to have sex.

And it is kind of exciting to hear it, even if it's private. Ellie may be a virgin but she's not frigid. The moans she can hear must be from you, and she wonders what it is Joel is doing that's making you sound like that. Not that she wants to think of Joel like that, God no, that's just gross. The whole idea of a man sticking his dick into her feels gross. But surely a woman must be able to make another woman sound like that? Maybe she could ask you. If she wants to talk to you about sex, and that's a big if.

It hits Ellie that if you're her family now, then it would be like asking her mom about sex. And whatever is going on right now is like hearing mom and dad have sex. And that image is just too much for her teenage brain. When the bedframe starts knocking on the wall between her bedroom and yours, she sits up again and bangs her fist at it.

"Keep it down, you two, some of us are trying to sleep here!"

The noise stops at once, and she grins to herself as she imagines your aghast faces - especially Joel must look absolutely shocked.

"Serves you right," she giggles to herself before scooting down and tucking herself in. Sleepy and amused, she wonders what sex feels like. If she will ever have it. If she even wants it. Is there ever going to be anyone that she'd care to do it with? Will anyone ever find her attractive? Her thoughts stray to Riley, and how sweet it would be to share this comfortable bed with her, whispering in the night, kissing, maybe more - but she quickly brushes those thoughts away. That wound is still too fresh.

A muffled thud is heard from the other bedroom, but she doesn't care anymore. Curling up on her side, she succumbs to exhaustion and the soft mattress.

"Shit!"

"Fuck!"

Your heart is pounding, your mouth is dry, your breathless profanity barely audible against Joel's cheek as he's buried to the hilt in you. He was in a mood when he came back from seeing his brother, and you knew there was no point in trying to make him talk about it. Even in a huff, however, the sight of you in a towel was rare enough for him to stop and stare.

"Take a shower," you told him, seeing that all he wanted to do was pull the towel off of you, "and come to bed."

Strangely enough, he did as he was told, but even hot water wasn't enough to keep him in the shower for more than a few minutes. When he came out, naked and dripping after barely having had time to dry himself off, he joined you between the threadbare but clean sheets.

"It's been too long," he told you, breath hot against your skin, hands already cupping and squeezing and claiming. You hummed your agreement as you let him cover your mouth with yours, sucking the breath out of you as he laid on top of you, his broad frame blocking out everything else. His weight on you, his clean, naked skin against yours... it had indeed been far too long for indulgences like these. You remember stolen fucks and sleepless nights in the QZ, clothed on cold hard floors during runs, but the last time you could take your time like this? And even with all the time in the world, both of you were in a desperate hurry. He sank his thick cock into you before too long and you welcomed him deeper by wrapping your arms and legs around him. When you moaned, he covered your mouth with his large hand and grunted in your ear:

"I know, pretty girl, I know, I feel it too, but you have to stay quiet for me."

You whined into his palm, and he replaced it with his mouth, swallowing your moans as he thrust into you with a renewed fury. The bed creaked but you were too far gone, too cock-hungry to care if Ellie heard you.

Which she did, of course.

Joel froze at the banging on the wall, and he inhaled sharply when Ellie yelled out her request for silence. Mirth replacing dismay as you recognize the teasing tone of Ellie's voice, you start to tremble with held-back giggles. With a grunt, Joel heaves himself up on his elbows.

"It's not funny," he lets you know in a morose voice. You raise your hands to his cheeks, feeling the heat in them. It's too dark to see, but your tough, no nonsense man is fucking blushing.

"It is a little funny," you whisper back and pull him in for a kiss. "She's fucking with us, you do know that, right?"

"We're gonna traumatize her - "

"This is gonna traumatize her, and not everything else she has lived through and seen?" you scoff. Your hand slides around to the back of his head and grab a fistful of hair. "Wise up, Miller, and fuck me."

"We can't - "

"I swear to God, Joel, if you don't get me off, I'm gonna go naked into the street and find someone who will!"

Your threat, unfounded though it is, gets him back on the right track.

"Yeah?" he breathes in a low growl, lowering his face over your chest, his tongue licking a wet trail around your knotted nipple. "You'd let just anyone touch you? Let anyone do this to you?" He licks your nipple into his mouth and sucks hard, making you arch your back as you clench your teeth against the moan threatening to spill out of you.

"Joel...!"

"Hush, my pretty," he hisses, sliding one hand to your breast and burying his fingers into the plump flesh as he lowers his mouth to your ear. "You have to stay quiet if you want me to fuck you till you cum. Can you do that?"

Your whimpered yes is followed by a choked cry when he slams into you anew, this time wrapping one arm around your thigh to get in deeper. You hold onto the bedding, the headboard, willing it to creak less as Joel picks up where he left off, doing his best to resume his devastating pace yet without causing any more noise. It's difficult, but when Joel puts his mind to something, he always follows through. He braces himself against the bed and you whine when he takes his weight off of you. You want to be deliciously crushed, taken, rendered breathless and immobile, but now you are free to rub your clit as he fucks you. Your slick walls clench around him at once.

"Fuck, that's tight," he groans above you, baring his teeth. "So fucking tight when you do that."

You stare up at him through the dusk, caress his flexed neck muscles with your half closed eyes as the pressure rises inside you. You whisper bitten off words, as if Joel needed your words to know that you are so close to exploding, imploding, the mesmerizing rise and fall that you so desperately need. He dips down to steal your breath away with a kiss and you suck eagerly on his tongue while simultaneously panting for air.

He almost slips out when you cum, your slickness and spasming muscles nearly pushing him out. You press your lips together, will yourself to swallow the sounds that threaten to come out when your body trembles under him. Your body, so sensitive all of a sudden, wants to push him away, but instead you pull him down over you and move with him, desperate and wanton.

"Cum," you beg of him in a whisper that might just as well be a scream, you have no idea as the blood roars in your ears, "cum, baby, cum in me, please cum."

Your overstimulated pussy feels the heat of his load spreading inside you when your words rush him to his climax. The strangled sound he emits is one that you've never heard from him before, and you wrap your arms around him, holding him tightly to you. His heart beats rapidly against your chest, where your own heart trying to match his rhythm, and when he tries to catch his breath there's only a stutter. He's sweaty but you can smell him and it's clean, fresh perspiration. His hair is still damp, and you run your fingers through it, smelling the shampoo which no doubt is handmade of herbs by someone in Jackson. He clearly took the time to wash his hair, which surprises you.

It feels nice. Normal.

"You smell nice," you murmur to him, sniffing his sideburn demonstratively.

"You do too." He brushes his lips across your face in a light peppering of kisses, each one a lingering declaration of love on your skin. "You felt so good, baby, this was good."

You hum softly as he slides out, slick and seed trailing in the wake of his softening cock.

"Might want to go again in a minute," you warn him with a happy smile that you hope he can hear, even if he can't see it. Joel groans as he rolls over onto his back next to you.

"Too old for twice in one night."

You chuckle, feeling the post-coital relaxation weighing you down in the most delicious way. Once was definitely enough. But you wish that every night could be like this.

"You think she's still awake?" Joel asks, and for a moment you have no idea who he's talking about. You had quite forgotten that the two of you were not alone in the house.

"I'll talk to her in the morning," you offer with a yawn. "Woman to woman."

"And tell her what?" Joel sounds both cynical and troubled, which amuses you greatly.

"About the birds and the bees," you giggle, shoving him playfully. "And what happens when two adults like each other very much."

He scoffs but takes your hand and brings it to his lips for a kiss before placing it over his heart. The conversation is over for his part, so you lay your head on his shoulder and close your eyes.

[goodwhump-temp]

Jake Peralta Whump | Brooklyn 99

1x01 Pilot - Manhandled, thrown, held at gunpoint 1x02 The Tagger - Career in jeopardy/threatened 1x03 The Slump - Really bad day, "cursed" 1x04 M.E. Time - Squeamish 1x05 The Vulture - Angry, spanked twice 1x06 Halloween - Falls from the ceiling, concussion, falls into Terrys arms, handcuffed, painfully slams onto table 1x07 48 Hours - Exhausted 1x08 Old School - Very hungover, aches/pain, reprimanded 1x09 Sals Pizza - Punched, manhandled, talks about childhood trauma 1x10 Thanksgiving - Talks about sad childhood x2, manhandled, choked 1x11 Christmas - Santa fight, held at gunpoint 1x12 Pontiac Bandit - Exhausted 1x14 Ebony Falcon - Chest bumped to the ground, worried, punched multiple times, numb arms 1x15 Operation Broken Feather - Denial, feels betrayed 1x17 Full Boyle - Pepper sprayed 1x18 The Apartment - Daddy issues, feels doomed from eventual homelessness 1x19 Tactical Village - Jealous, heartbroken 1x21 Unsolvable - Very sleep deprived, depressed/heartbroken, drunk 1x22 Charges and Specs - Very drunk, reprimanded, fired

2x01 Undercover - Picked up/arrested, punched, balls knee'd, cuts burn/pain, held at gunpoint, bummed 2x02 Chocolate Milk - Head manhandled, back issues from Terrys 'body slam,' exhausted x2, feelings hurt, tortured (forced to eat carrots) 2x03 The JimmyJab Games - Attacked by fire hydrants, still heartbroken 2x04 Halloween II - Robbed by bears, falls, hurt by barbedwire, arrested 2x05 The Mole - Feels betrayed, exhausted, slapped 2x06 Jake and Sophia - Hurts his hand 2x07 Lockdown - Passes out (flashback) 2x09 The Road Trip - Slapped 2x10 The Pontiac Bandit Returns - Daddy issues, gut punched 2x11 Stakeout - Punched 2x13 Payback - Exhausted, collapse, numb, sad 2x14 The Defense Rests - Heartbroken/depressed 2x15 Windbreaker City - Heartbroken/depressed, obsessive 2x17 The Boyle-Linetti Wedding - Finger pain, hearbroken 2x18 Captain Peralta - Major daddy issues, major denial, abandoned, feels hurt, confrontation 2x19 Sabotage - Suspended, feels betrayed, almost hit by a truck, held at gunpoint, kidnapped, restrained, gagged, life threatened, trust rooted daddy issues 2x20 AC_DC - Painful fall, limping the whole episode, cracked ribs/broken toes/thumb fractured, hit by box, extreme pain, addicted to work, hit by a car, hospitalized 2x21 Det. Dave Majors - Drinks really strong drink, annoyed, nervous, hurts his fingers, goat jumpscare

3x01 New Captain - Punched x3, briefly sad 3x05 Halloween III - Witch jumpscare, exhausted, throws up x2 3x06 Into The Woods - Falls, surrounded by poison ivy 3x09 The Swedes - Annoyed the whole episode, disgusted, briefly held at gunpoint 3x10 Yippie Kayak - Diehard situation, punched unconscious, hostage/restrained, headache, held at gunpoint, checked out by EMTs 3x11 Hostage Situation - Handcuffed/betrayed, daddy issues !??! 3x12 9 Days - Has Mumps, constant pain, drunk from cold medicine, delerious, mump painfully poked multiple times 3x14 Karen Peralta - Slams into multiple things, falls, major daddy issues, angry 3x15 The 9-8 - (Making Boyle jealous), uncomfortable between friends, punched, nards kicked, pain, tackled 3x16 House Mouses - Flattened by Scully, knocked unconscious, restrained 3x17 Adrian Pimento - Knife to throat/restrained, jumpscared, daddy issues, talks about therapy, held at gunpoint 3x19 Terry Kittens - Daddy issues, screaming scared, sleep deprived 3x21 Maximum Security - Worried, beaten up 3x22 The Bureau - Exhausted (1 pullup) 3x23 Greg and Larry - In danger, life threatened

4x01 Coral Palms, Pt.1 - Depressed, Holt jumpscare, hit by gokart, weird wrist, scared of snakes, tackled, reprimanded (redepressed) 4x02 Coral Palms, Pt.2 - Punched multiple times, headlocked 4x03 Coral Palms, Pt.3 - Falls over fence, calf scratched, queasy/gagging, (+great Holt bonding), throat punched, held at gunpoint, shot 4x04 The Night Shift - Crutches, hair intervention, picked up by Terry, limping, pain, falls over fence 4x05 Halloween IV - Terry jumpscare overreaction, betrayed 4x06 Monster in the Closet - Falls through roof 4x08 Skyfire Cycle - Relived trauma pantsing people 4x09 The Overmining - Angry 4x10 Captain Latvia - Cut palm (bleeding), thrown against a wall, unconscious 4x12 The Fugitive, Pt.2 - Betrayed, held at gunpoint 4x14 Serve & Protect - Feelings hurt 4x15 The Last Ride - Bruised thigh, crying 4x16 Moo Moo - Talks about depressing childhood 4x17 Cop-Con - Hungover, chest pain, literally on fire, gag/dizzy 4x18 Chasing Amy - Scared, worried, slams into bars 4x19 Your Honor - Claustrophobic, daddy issues 4x20 The Slaughterhouse - Water & milk drugged, extremely jittery 4x21 The Bank Job - Hungover, held at gunpoint, framed, arrested 4x22 Crime & Punishment - Hardcore framed

5x01 The Big House Pt.1 - Life threatened multiple times, jumpscared, aggressively beaten up x3 (limping/cuts), scared 5x02 The Big House Pt.2 - Solitary confinement, daddy issues/panic, blackmailed, life threatened multiple times, on meth, very jittery 5x03 Kicks - Daddy issues, nightmare, prison trauma, confession/suspends himself, sad 5x04 HalloVeen - Jumpscare x2, prison trauma, restrained, betrayed 5x06 The Venue - Daddy issues 5x07 Two Turkeys - Sad childhood + daddy issues 5x08 Return to Skyfire - Tired, painfully thrown to the wall 5x09 99 - Daddy issues 5x10 Game Night Pt.1 - Emotional 5x11 The Favor Pt.2 - Emotional/daddy issues 5x12 Safe House - Stir crazy, throat punched, tear off mustache pain, held at gunpoint, daddy issues 5x13 The Negotiation - Held at gunpoint, hostage, sad childhood, brokenheart 5x14 The Box - Embarrassed, relationship tested, angry outburst, hit by a chair, bloody nose 5x15 The Puzzle Master - Hand twisted, jealous, hand cramp 5x17 Dfw - Very nervous, shared daddy issues 5x18 Gray Star Matual - Intimidated 5x19 Bachelor/ette Party - Sickly drunk, guilt, heartbroken 5x20 Show Me Going - Daddy issues, worried, scared 5x21 White Whale - Stressed, 5x22 Jake & Amy - Life threatened, jealous, emotional

6x01 Honeymoon - Stressed 6x02 Hitchcock & Scully - Trapped 6x03 The Tattler - Annoyed, angry outburst, therapy denial, betrayed, angry 6x04 Four Movements - Body slammed, beaten up and sobbed offscreen, pain 6x05 A Tale of Two Bandits - Emotional 6x06 The Crime Scene - Bad childhood, sleep deprived, losing sanity, looks horrible, guilt 6x09 The Golden Child - Choking, heimliched, probably broken rib, punched unconscious, kidnapped 6x10 Gintars - Nervous, guilt 6x11 The Therapist - Massively in denial, hates therapists, held at gunpoint/captured, confesses, emotional 6x12 Casecation - Daddy issues/bad childhood, scared, life threatened (bomb) 6x13 The Bimbo - Emotional x2, bad childhood, height insecurity 6x14 Ticking Clocks - Arm punched x2 6x15 Return of the King - Feelings hurt, angry 6x16 Cinco de Mayo - Tazed x2, betrayed, emotions manipulated 6x17 Sicko - Career threatened x2, almost bit, insulted 6x18 The Suicide Squad - Punched, betrayed, imprisoned, depressed

7x01 Manhunter - Undermined 7x02 Captain Kim - Stepdaddy issues/trust issues x2 7x03 Pimemento - Scared of heights 7x04 The Jimmy Jab Games II - Falls from the ceiling, pain, trips, ceiling falls on him, extreme pain 7x05 Debbie - Knocked unconscious, restrained 7x06 Trying - Hungover, sad 7x07 Ding Dong - Daddy issues, uncomfortable the whole episode, emotional 7x08 The Takeback - Angry, feels betrayed, smushed, threatened 7x09 Dillman - Sad, framed 7x10 Admiral Peralta - Punched 7x11 Valloweaster - Trips, therapy 7x12 Ransom - Held at gunpoint, kidnapped, restrained/threatened

[its-jaytothemee]

WIP Wednesday

I had an idea for a very late chapter of my ongoing slow burn, and I just can't resist posting part it as a standalone fluff piece as well.

This will eventually be part of the Until I Met You fic, but I'm just too excited to not share this piece of it!

Full fic here: Tumblr AO3

Word count: 2,013

Rating: Mature

Tags: Halsin x Tav post game, Fluff, Daddy Halsin, Innuendos/mentions of sex, Halsin and Tav POVs

Summary: Halsin gets ambushed by a bunch of the children staying with him in Thaniel's realm. They're led by Tav, who can't seem to get enough of watching him interact with his little cubs.

Halsin decided to start the morning by finishing his cleaning of the area outside of the old mason’s guild. When he woke up, Tav was already out for the day and he hadn’t been able to find her yet. Most likely she was out with Lunari, their morning walks had become a routine for her. She was always patrolling, looking out for bandits and thieves who would come to try and take advantage of their vulnerable group. He had tried to assure her that Thaniel’s Realm was far from a desirable location for most, having been surrounded by shadows for years it was unlikely that anyone would even want to attempt looting the area. Still, she insisted on traps and glyphs and magical wards to protect them.

It had been just over a month since he and Tav had returned here with their mass of refugees. Each day was filled with more manual labor than he had done in decades, not to mention the hard work of looking after the dozens of children that had joined them. Plenty of others had joined them as well, all kinds of citizens who had their lives upended by the war with the Absolute, but he saw the children as his responsibility. He was never able to start a family of his own and being here now with all of these orphaned children and Tav…it was still hard to believe it was his reality. The overwhelming love he felt for them made his chest ache. His days were filled with little laughs and hugs from the children as well as some much bigger laughs and hugs from Tav. His ears were always filled with a chorus of happy screams, laughter, ‘Daddy Halsin’ being yelled over and over, and with questions…by the gods so many questions from their little mouths. Their curious minds kept him on his toes, having to be ready to answer any question about magic or music or family or animals or cooking – the list went on forever.

And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

His thoughts were interrupted by some quiet giggles and whispers behind the nearby bushes. The sound brought a large smile to his face.

Oak Father preserve me…what do they have planned today?

***

Tav gently shushed the giggling children with an excited smile.

“Shh! You’ll give away our position!” She kept her voice playful as she scolded them.

They were all looking at her, vibrating with excitement. The first wave of her little soldiers were clutching their makeshift swords, some sticks that they had whittled after Halsin taught them. Her second wave had their tiny practice bows that she had helped them make, their arrows were each tipped with soft burlap filled with grass and hay.

“Okay little ones, remember the plan. The infantry goes in first, charge the Netherbrain and overwhelm him.  Once he’s fully distracted the archers will take care of the rest.” She whispered and watched as each of their heads nodded in understanding.

“General Yenna,” She turned and saluted the little red-haired girl, “the troops are yours to command.”

Yenna nodded in approval, turning her attention to Halsin just past the bushes. She stood up and lifted her bow in the air, pointing it towards him.

“Charge!” She yelled, causing the gaggle of children holding swords to rush towards him. Tav cackled as she saw the horde overtake him. He cried out in feigned shock, unable to believe his little cubs could turn on him so viciously. His large body disappeared beneath the pile of fighters. The kids all giggled as they hit him with their play swords, he writhed in exaggerated pain with each stab and swipe. They all let out their own battle cries against the nefarious Netherbrain beneath them. Tav stood up to call out the next orders.

“Archers! He’s down…hit the Netherbrain with everything you’ve got!” She yelled to her loyal followers. The rest of the army popped out from behind the bushes to launch their arrows. When Halsin caught a glimpse of her he had a look of fake betrayal on his face.

“My own love, turned against me!” He exclaimed, the smile on his lips betraying his false cries.

A small cloud of “arrows” rained down on him. Sort of. The toy bows she made didn’t exactly have a good range, but a few did at least fall in the group tackling Halsin. A few of the kids caught in the crossfire fell over in dramatic defeat.

“We win! The Netherbrain is dead!” A little elf boy named Jareth called out in triumph. Halsin obliged and let out a gurgle before allowing his head to collapse to the ground. The scene caused uproarious laughter and cheers among the children. High-fives and victory dances ensued.

Tav kept her eyes on Halsin as the kids danced around them, celebrating his defeat. He opened one eye to look back at her. It made her heart skip a beat.

I know that look.

Seeing him with the kids just did something for her. He was so soft and gentle with them. He had talked about his regrets in never having a family of his own, and now she could see this was truly where he belonged – here in Thaniel’s realm. Creating a community based on balance and compassion, teaching others to know and love nature, beneath a pile of laughing children. She was coming around to the idea that maybe he deserved just one more…one of his own flesh and blood…

A blush crept over her cheeks as she walked over to stand over his defeated body, placing one foot on his chest to pin him down. She heard a quiet, sultry growl escape his lips from the motion.

“Victory!” She yelled to the kids, causing more cheers and laughter.

Gods their little laughs are so cute. 

Her eyes moved down to Halsin, who was looking over her entire body. She gave him a quick wink before relinquishing her hold on him and helping him back up.

“I’ll accept your complete and unconditional surrender now.” She teased as she brushed some of the dirt from him.

He responded by grabbing her by the waist and kissing her deeply.

***

Halsin could barely contain his heart from bursting out of his chest looking at Tav in this moment. Still kneeling next to the bushes, her head was thrown back laughing at his complete and utter defeat. Her loyal little soldiers taking him down with ease. When they left Baldur’s Gate, she had told him how terrified she was of coming back here. How she felt like she could never help raise children. She was so worried that she would be too strict, too mean, too boring, that she would be useless. She had told him once that she wasn’t good with kids, that she didn’t know how to talk to them. And now…now here she was, leading a small army of little heroes in training against him. So many of them now preferred her company to his, not that he could blame them. Yenna especially had taken a liking to Tav, the two were inseparable since leaving Baldur’s Gate. The sight made his heart soar. He thought he couldn’t be any happier in this moment, then Tav stood up to give another command for a second wave. Toy arrows shot out from their little bows, some of them even making it all the way over to him. Another bout of unhinged laughter rang from Tav.

Oh, once I get her alone…

 Eventually, the children declared him officially defeated allowing him just a moment of rest as he feigned his death. When he peeked out of one eye back at Tav, she was looking at him with a loving expression.

By the Oak Father. What did I do to deserve her?

She made her way over towards her army, accepting salutes and hugs as a reward for their triumph. He could see the familiar flushed color across her face and chest as she got closer.

Caused by thoughts not suitable to speak of here I’d wager.

She rested one foot on top of his chest as he lay there defenseless, holding him to the ground, stirring him to his core. An involuntary growl crept out of his throat. Based on the small smirk that twitched at the corners of her mouth, she heard it. How she loved to test his self-control.

Another chorus of cheers erupted around him as she officially proclaimed their victory and helped him back up to his feet.

“I’ll accept your complete and unconditional surrender now.” Her smile was bigger and brighter than he had ever seen it. Nature’s most beautiful creation.

He pulled her close and kissed her, holding her in place tight against him. She smiled against his lips, moving her hands to wrap around his neck and pull him closer.

“Ewww!” The ever-present crowd of little voices teased from behind them. A gasp followed their cries of repulsion.

“She’s working with the Netherbrain! She’s a mind flayer!” Yenna shouted to her fellow soldiers.

Without hesitation, her once faithful followers turned on her, bringing another storm of wooden sticks and toy arrows down on them. They broke apart from one another, trying to  defend themselves against the unexpected onslaught. Tav’s laugh filled his ears as it mingled with the children’s battle cries. They were both dragged to the ground, being attacked by the kids who were now mad with merciless bloodlust.

Once the small army decided beating him and Tav with sticks was no longer fun, they broke off into their own groups. They started sparring with the toy swords, trying to decide if they had enough participants to start a tournament. The archers picked up their small arrows that littered the ground, taking them over to practice shooting some targets Tav had made for them.

Tav laid next to him, still laughing from their embarrassing defeat. Wisps of her silvery hair were already making their way out of her signature braid to swirl around her face. He tucked the loose strands behind her ears before helping her stand up. She wrapped her arms around him in a hug, lifting her chin so she could look up at him. The sight made him dizzy.

“You’re lucky the children are here, my heart. Otherwise, I think I’d have to find a way to punish this little mutiny of yours.” Halsin purred the words into her ears, careful to keep his voice quiet enough so only they could hear.

“I’m so sorry, Master Halsin. Surely, I can do something to make it up to you.” She whispered with a wink.

“Oh yes, yes you can. Rest assured you’ll beg for my forgiveness by the time I’m done, Tav’ahria.” Tav bit her lower lip in response, he only used her full name when he was desperate to have her. He knew exactly what she wanted, but why stop the fun now? Leaning over to give her a quick peck on the cheek, he reached around her to grab a broom resting against the wall.

“You could finish up here and give me a chance to go gather some berries from the woods.” He kissed her nose before turning on his heels and walking away, leaving her blushing and with her mouth agape.

“You’ll pay for that!” Tav called after him, an exaggerated pout clouding her face. Her arms were crossed over her reddened chest.

“Gods, I hope so!” He teased back as his usual trail of children caught up to him.

He would let her stew just long enough to keep her flustered. Once they finished their work for the day, he’d let her kiss all of his fake wounds from the battle, and he’d do the same for her. Later, he’d pin her down and get her to beg his forgiveness for her “betrayal.” He’d relish in every whimper and shiver he sent down her body until he finally gave in and showed her mercy. He might even have to teach her the lesson a couple of times…just to make sure it stuck.

[ya-boi-haru]

Bored so I'm going to explain some of the songs I added to my Fable playlist, cause thinking of songs for playlist go brrr:

• Meant To Be Yours - (Heather's musical): Corrupted Caspian vibes

• Kiss Your Dreams Goodbye - Derivakat: Enderien vibes

• Saints - Echo's: Trying to decipher which God to believe about the war

• Viper - Derivakat: Season 2, Sculk arc coded

• Nightmare - Derivakat: Villain/Snapped Rae coded

• Daddy Issues - The Neighbourhood: 👀

• Gasoline - Halsey: Rae or Seven (theory)

• Don't make me - MALINDA: Enderien

• Freaks - Jordan Clarke: Lodestone Grove family

• Boyfriend- Dove Cameron: Enderien + Isla

• Treat You Better - Shawn Mendes: Enderien + Isla

• Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths: Centross (Stuck in the End arc, specifically)

• As The World Caves In - Sara Cothran: Resets

• Burned - Grace VanderWaal: Rae, Icarus, Ulysses

• Someone You Loved - Lewis Capaldi: Ghae (Early S2 - Pre-Memory return)

• Dollhouse - Melanie Martinez: Morningstar family

• Just a Man - Epic Musical: Fable

• Look What You Made Me Do - Taylor Swift: Gods at war/Revenge

• God Must Hate Me - Catie Turner: How Rae sees himself vs

• Just The Way You Are - Bruno Marz: How his boyfriends see him

• She - Dodie: Enderien + Isla

• What Was I Made For - Billie Eilish: Isla

• The Hammers Coming Down - Nickleback: Resets

• Satalite - Nickleback: For the couples having their soft moments

• The Grudge - Olivia Rodrigo: Icarus + Quixis

• Killer In The Mirror - Set it off: Icarus

• Assassin - Au/Ra: Icarus & Ulysses

• Devil In Me - Halsey: Athena

• Naked - James Arthur: Wolftross or OciexCentross

• Blue - Derivakat: Athena and their cats vibes

• Would You Be So Kind - Dodie: Any of those sweet little gays trying to confess

• Memento Mori: the most important thing in the world - Will Wood: Centross (Rae, theory)

• Zydrate Anatomy - Repo! The Generic Opea: All the lil science nerds (Rae, Icarus, Ulysses, Aax)

• Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson: For the times they tried to claim back their blissful/calm moments

• Rockabye - Clean Bandit: Isla

• Livin la Vida Loca - Ricky Martin: Souly because when I asked where c!Hayley was Connor said "she's living la Vida loca"

• Love Like You - Caleb Hyles: Centross

• I Found - Amber Run: Centross

• I'll Sleep When I'm Dead & Nightmare - Set it Off: Rae

• Safe and Sound - Taylor Swift: Isla with Icarus and Rae or Alerion & Vivian with Will

• The Quiet - Troy's Sivan: Caspian while Rae was gone (S2)

The others are vibes checks or suit 3 different things (or are obvious lol)

[bonesandthebees]

[“Wilbur’s smart,” he said after a few minutes. “We taught him how to think, so that he could figure out the best way through whatever situation he’s thrown in.”] Techno’s use of ‘we” very much makes it feel more like an uncle Techno situation. But that could still be as a tutor.

And Techno is still right. Thinking is thinking. And it is very much keeping the kid alive. (Though without Tomys’ survival skills both of them would be doomed). The thing is, Phil likely knows nothing about those skills, so has no way to assume his son can survive this beyond hoping for the best. But it’s best to keep hoping until he is proven to be dead.

Also, [He remembered those same hands carding through dark hair on a sleepless carriage ride so many years ago.] YOU DID NOT HAVE TO RIP OUT MY HEART AND TEAR IT TO SHREDS, BEE! THIS CARRIAGE RIDE WILL KILL ME. JUST AS THEIR REUNION WILL!

[“If it turns out Schlatt was responsible for this-“ /“We’ll make him regret it.”] murder, Murder, MURDER!

While I’m talking about Phil, I also want to talk about his messed up parenting. Because he clearly loves this kid so much, yet Wilbur is so terrified of returning home like his father will be anything other than over the moon that he’s alive. Like Phil is probably going to be so, so, so glad (I demand Sandduo hugs, Bee. I need compensation) and probably proud as hell that Wilbur managed to survive and trick the bandits. But Wilbur expects him to be disappointed and angry because he jas no self-confidence and expects his father to have had a better solution than he did, even though he did really well.

And Wilbur does really really love and miss his dad. But when Tomys asks, he skips over him, because of that fear. Which creates a point of connection, because Tomys will now (rightfully) assume that their relationship isn’t so great (probably worse than it actually is) and he clearly has a rather bad relationship with his own parents. So that forms a bond.

Side note: Wilbur feels safe to tell Tomys these things because he’s not at the palace and thus, probably for the first time in his damn life, doesn’t have to worry about somebody eavesdropping and reporting back to his father. So he can be honest without fear. Oh and of course Tomys isn’t good at the political games yet, so he can be told things like this. Hope that never comes back to bite him-

(4/4)

-🌲

oh yeah it's an uncle techno situation. he helped raise wilbur right alongside phil.

but yeah the only reason they really have survived this long is thanks to tommy's survival skills. admittedly, without wilbur tommy probably wouldn't have made it on his own for various reasons, but wilbur definitely wouldn't have made it without tommy. you can only think your way through so many survival problems before you really just need actual knowledge.

had to mention the childhood carriage ride again just for the pain :)

I loveeee phil's messed up parenting in this. he loves wilbur so much but he's so terrible at showing it. wilbur thinks his father is going to be disappointed and is terrified of witnessing that disappointment after he's gone through so much. that's because phil has always been so bad at showing his son when he is proud of him. phil just cannot show emotions properly for the life of him and it's led to wilbur constantly thinking his father is disappointed in him when he isn't. emotional constipation woohoo.

oh yeah wilbur refusing to talk about phil definitely makes tommy think they have a bad relationship. on the bright side, now they can bond over complicated relationships with their dads. but this also means tommy is on a drastically different page than wilbur when it comes to daddy issues.

but man yeah wilbur can finally open up because he has no one listening in on him... the one benefit in this hellish situation they're trapped in

ty for your thoughts as always spruce I have so much fun going through your asks

[moviehealthcommunity]

One of our Patrons, specifically Peter from the $5 tier, came up with an excellent idea for Movie Health Community that I'd like to make happen right here and now: a curated list of movies that are safe for photosensitive audiences to watch! Out of the 1074 movies we've evaluated so far, 130 of them have a Flashing Lights score of 0 or 1, so here is that list of 130 titles, in alphabetical order.

The 40-Year-Old Virgin 80 for Brady Abominable Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret Away From Her A Bad Moms Christmas The Ballad of Buster Scruggs The Beguiled The Big Sick Billy Madison Book Club: The Next Chapter The Breakfast Club Casablanca Cheaper by the Dozen (2022) The Christmas Chronicles A Christmas Story Christmas Christopher Robin Cinderella (2015) Clerks Cocaine Bear Coco Coming to America Crazy Rich Asians Crimson Peak Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon Cyrano Daddy's Home Daddy's Home 2 Dear Evan Hansen Dirty Dancing Dogma Dolores Claiborne Downhill Downton Abbey Drive My Car Eight Crazy Nights Elemental Elf Enemy Ever After: A Cinderella Story Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile The Fighting Preacher Five Feet Apart Gladiator Going in Style The Goldfinch Good Will Hunting Green Book The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug The Hurt Locker The Hustle I Don't Know How She Does It The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild In Bruges Inglourious Basterds Instant Family Interview with the Vampire It's a Wonderful Life Jojo Rabbit Kimi Knives Out Last Christmas The Laundromat Little Women (2019) Lizzie Logan Lucky The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Luca Lying and Stealing Ma Rainey's Black Bottom A Madea Christmas Madea's Family Reunion Madea's Witness Protection Maleficent: Mistress of Evil Mallrats A Man Called Otto The Many Saints of Newark Marriage Story Mary Poppins Returns Mary Queen of Scots The Menu Miracle on 34th Street (1994) Misery Monty Python's Life of Brian Mrs. Doubtfire The Muppet Christmas Carol Muppet Treasure Island Murder Mystery Night at the Museum Office Space On the Basis of Sex Pan's Labyrinth The Perfection The Polar Express The Power of the Dog A Prayer Before Dawn Psycho (1960) Psycho (1998) Pulp Fiction The Report The Rhythm Section Rise of the Planet of the Apes Roma The Room Rudy The Santa Clause The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause Seven Psychopaths The Shallows Shanghai Noon Shaun the Sheep Movie The Shining Shrek the Third Smokey and the Bandit Son In Law Spencer The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) Three Thousand Years of Longing Ticket to Paradise Uncut Gems United 93 West Side Story (1961) The Whale Windfall The Wizard of Oz Women Talking Won't You Be My Neighbor? Worth Zombieland: Double Tap

[nothingunrealistic]

There could be only one Machiavellian daddy standing in the "Billions" finale revenge showdown between Bobby "Axe" Axelrod (Damian Lewis) and his hedge fund usurper (and dangerous presidential candidate) Michael Prince (Corey Stoll). After seven seasons of cutthroat high-finance drama and power struggles, "Billions" went endgame with the titan matchup in Showtime's series finale (now streaming on Paramount+; airing on Showtime Sunday 8 EDT/PDT). But the entire cast of characters featuring ever-evolving allegiances got its due, including longtime Axe persecutor U.S. Attorney Chuck Rhoades (Paul Giamatti), now working with his former nemesis to bring down Prince. The multi-pronged farewell episode even featured former U.S. Attorney Bryan Connerty (Toby Leonard Moore), who hadn't been a "Billions" regular since Chuck engineered his legal problems and prison stint in Season 4 for illegal wiretapping. Connerty made a surprise appearance to receive his reinstated law license, also engineered by Chuck as a peace offering. "This show was for the show superfans; we found the ultimate landing spot for all these characters," says Brian Koppelman, who created the series with David Levien and Andrew Ross Sorkin. The final positions from the "Billions" finale:

Axe made Prince a pauper, and resumed his office chair throne Prince helped orchestrate Axe's downfall in Season 5, which allowed him to get his greedy hands on Axe Capital. As Axe, the heavy-metal-T-shirt-wearing Road Runner of finance, realized he had finally been defeated by Prince, he uttered the line "So this is what it is like to lose." In real life, Lewis was leaving "Billions" to return to life in England for personal reasons. So Axe was written off (exiled to Switzerland) to avoid arrest by Chuck, thanks to a tipoff from Prince. Prince took over Axe's throne and renamed the kingdom Michael Prince Capital (MPC). With Lewis and Axe back for the final season, the downfall script was reversed. Axe returned to New York, with Chuck's help and urging, to join the team trying to stop Prince. The Never Princers, who included MPC's general counsel Kate Sacker (Dola Rashad), conspired to annihilate Prince's stock portfolio while the unsuspecting presidential candidate met the U.S. president at Camp David, as his mobile phone was locked up by Marine security. With the trap sprung, Prince flew into MPC in a rage. Showing the volatile side no one wanted to see responsible for nuclear weapons, Prince threw a printer through the office window of Chuck co-conspirator and ex-wife Wendy Rhoades (Maggie Siff). Prince bottled his rage seeing Axe and an office full of former employees present to witness his financial demise and presidential ambitions crushed in one bad news day. "So yeah Mike, this is what it's like to lose," Axe said to Prince, parroting his own line, with a very different subject. "I bet that felt good," Prince sneered back. "What does it say about someone who wants to throw somebody's words back in their face? Not great things," says Levien of the line. "That's why we found it so satisfying." Big winner Axe reclaimed his office chair with no trumpets, but only his faithful lieutenant Mike "Wags" Wagner (David Costabile) standing just behind him. While Prince hid dark ambitions behind noble ideas, Axe sent his traders out with the capitalist battle cry "Let's make some ... money!" with The Steve Miller Band's ode to bandit living, "Take the Money and Run," playing as the exit soundtrack. "That song felt just absolutely perfect for the show," Koppelman says.

Prince went down defiantly, vowing revenge With Humpty Dumpty falling off the financial wall and Prince's world in tatters, even his loyalists disbanded. Right-hand man Scooter Dunbar (Daniel Breaker) saw the light and realized how far the power duo had drifted in its quest for power. Finding he has been spared financial ruin, Scooter announced he's embarking on his dream of conducting an orchestra. In classic villain mode, Prince admitted defeat but vowed to return and financially crush Axe and anyone else who knocked him. "This country is built on second acts, and when you see mine, you better duck and cover," Prince said. "People like Prince are not laid low by things that would lay all of us low," Koppelman says. "In three years, the guy will somehow have bought The Sphere off James Dolan."

Chuck and Wendy end up laughing over dinner Chuck, the main Axe battler in many season finales, relished the slightly less sexy victory over Prince. Chuck also finally came up triumphant in his personal life. Wendy and Chuck's marriage, and vigorous BDSM sex life, had ended acrimoniously after Wendy worked for years as Axe Capital's high-end performance coach. But "Billions" ended with the two exes smiling as Wendy walked out of Axe Capital moments after turning down Axe's return to work offer. Wendy and Chuck agreed to go on a family dinner with their two children. The final shot featured Wendy and Chuck laughing at dinner with their kids, as noted chef Connerty performed impressive culinary tricks on the teppanyaki (Moore's real-life cooking skills were often highlighted). Wendy and Chuck don't resume life as a couple, "but they settled their issues, coming to a great place of mutual understanding, fondness and co-parenting," Levien says.

[captainschmoe]

give us all the details on the new second gen OCs plz

Hi anon! I’ve been really struggling with several of them, but instead of sitting and around and waiting until inspiration hits me, I’ll just toss what I do have out there, listed roughly in order of most to least detailed in my head :)

Under the cut because it is LONG

Sinjin: Frederick’s son from the future. His initial class is Wyvern Rider. An enigmatic knight with a cool yet relaxed attitude. The hardest to wake up in the morning.

Sinjin was trained to become an Ylissean royal knight and raised alongside his future liege, Lucina. However, he was disobedient as a child, frustrating his father to no end. Shortly before his adolescence, his parents suddenly died in the war following Grima’s resurrection, and with Lucina’s tragic inheritance of Falchion and the crown, Sinjin finally realized that he needed to step up and become the knight his father intended in order to keep his friend and princess safe. He specifically chose to master the axe to cover for Lucina’s lance weakness, and the two stayed firmly side-by-side until they were separated in their journey to the past.

Since returning to the past, Sinjin and his wyvern traveled far and wide as they could, though Sinjin frequently needed to catch up on the sleep he lost from constant fighting in the future. Though happy to see his parents and friends again, he was not particularly thrilled with the prospect of Frederick’s inevitable lectures about his penchant for sleeping in and letting Lucina do some of the daily chores herself.

The Shepherds found him taking a nap in the bushes dangerously close to a turf war.

Kuennen: Kellam’s daughter from the future. Her default class is Thief. An enigmatic woman who can appear and vanish seemingly at will.

Due to being born to a man in a family packed full of boys, Kuennen ended up being spoiled rotten in her youth, and to this day still refers to Kellam as “Daddy” and even “Daddykins” on occasion. She likes seeking attention and approval of others and making grand entrances, but she still inherited her father’s ability to instantly vanish, and used it to her and the other children’s advantage in the future, being extremely difficult to track and capture and stealing from enemies without them ever knowing.

The Shepherds find her while attempting to recover a family’s stolen heirlooms; turns out she was right in the process of stealing them back from the bandits.

Re’ki: Lon’qu’s daughter from the future. Her default class is Myrmidon. An enigmatic swordswoman who never loses her level head.

Prior to traveling to the past, Re’ki never got the chance to leard of her namesake, nor had she ever realized her father harbored any envy for her sword skills, especially as she turned out to be left-handed and couldn’t simply copy his movements. Upon learning just how much effort her father puts into swordsmanship just to try to match Basilio, she deems him the better fighter. Like her father, Re’ki is somewhat repulsed by both verbal and physical affection (although no matter the other person’s demographic). As such, none of her supports build especially quickly.

The Shepherds found Re’ki in a forest clearing after following a trail of dismembered pieces of Risen, which was of course her doing.

Gavin: Gaius’s son from the future. His default class is Thief. An enigmatic thief with a constant craving for spice. The quickest to get stomachaches.

In the future, being raised by Gaius caused Gavin to be frequently exposed to candy, cakes, and other manner of overly-sugary treats. Unlike Gaius, though, Gavin is naturally inclined towards savory and spicy foods, and struggles to keep sugar down. Even plain fruit is a challenge for him. One day, Gavin personally witnessed his father being brutally ripped apart by the Risen, and became violently ill from the sight. Ever since then, he has tried to avoid people and Risen alike and can only bring himself to kill if he closes his eyes while dealing the finishing blow and never looks at the corpse afterwards. While in Lucina’s ranks, he was a designated scout.

The Shepherds found him skulking behind a wall, looking for food or treasure, while fending off a Risen attack on a village.

Aries: Libra’s daughter from the future. Her default class is Cleric. An enigmatic cleric frequently mistaken for male. The fondest of smelling books.

Even before the Fell Dragon was reborn, Aries had always had a strong curiosity for why the Grimleal wanted to bring about the world’s end, as not even they would benefit from such a thing. Rather than accept them as an incomprehensible evil, however, she studied as much of the the history and motivations of the Grimleal faith as she could, though she was ashamed of this and desperate to hide it from her parents and friends. After Grima’s resurrection, she only felt more guilty, but her supports show that most of the others are fine with her showing compassion for the Grimleal.

Philibert: Virion’s son from the future. His default class is Archer, and he inherits Pegasus Knight instead of Wyvern Rider. An enigmatic poet with a burning passion for male beauty. The most difficult to startle.

The Shepherds find Philibert leading a small team of men from a rooftop to fend off a late-night bandit attack. Upon learning that Lucina has dropped her “Marth” disguise, he laments the loss of one of the most handsome young lads he’d ever seen… even if Chrom is the one talking to him.

Reuben: Ricken’s son from the future. His default class is Mage. An enigmatic giant of a man with a knack for talking to children. The last one to ever attempt any pranks.

Sylva: Stahl’s daughter from the future. Her default class is Cavalier. An enigmatic apothecary who desperately seeks her purpose in life. The one with the most bizarre dreams.

Aldhar: Vaike’s son from the future. His default class is Fighter. An enigmatic young man who finds himself easily picked on. The fastest puzzle-solver.

Barbara: Gregor’s daughter from the future. Her default class is Mercenary, and she can inherit the Barbarian class as well. An enigmatic woman who can unnerve even hardened men with her overwhelming presence.

Jack: Henry’s son from the future. His default class is Mage. An enigmatic man who just wants to live a normal life. The quickest to earn small animals’ trust.

Bea: Donnel’s daughter from the future. An enigmatic farm girl with dreams of being a livestock vet.

[myshredda]

Hello!✨

Chaos idea: The clump try to have a movie night but spend two hours scrolling mindlessly through their prefered streaming service because they just can't decide on a movie

They end up watching Bluey, that's the only show they all love equally

But then they start fighting about which episode to watch!

Red would probably cry with sleepy time, especially that part where Chili assures Bingo she will be there for her even if she can't see her bcs I firmly believe Red never had his parents tell him that, (he just gives off daddy and mommy issues, specially in the family episode and how most of the time he tries to avoid confrontation like that part where he fires Duck due to pressure). And maybe baby race

Duck would LOVE the episode where Jack and Rusty play army with all those military references that remind him of his childhood and youth (even tho hes like, 30) He would probably like baby race too

I think Yellow would like the butterflies ep, and he would be constantly singing the poor little bug on the wall song as vocal stimming (i know my sister and i did haha!)

Green it's kinda hard… It's maybe because i have not finished watching all the episodes (i just cannot binge watch it because i cry way too much and i end up exhausted) but i can't choose an episode for him… i was thinking maybe the bedroom one, but it's not right enough…

I would probably continue to watch it and maybe when I finish I could give him an episode!

For now, he just likes all of the episodes :D

Oh I cry over every single episode of Bluey no matter what so I'm right there with you.

Yeah. Red would weep every time Chili and Bandit are good parents bc he very obviously did NOT have a good childhood and has basically no relationship with his family/peers. Sleepy Time would make him cry SO BAD man... Poor guy. He's role in my AU really is, like, ending his family trauma with him and ensuring that Yellow and Green have the supportive family he never had, so the bedtime episode would really get him :( poor guy :(

All I could think of during that army episode was Duck lol, he's my go-to army guy now. I think he'd also really like the episode with Chili's dad because he feels kinship with Mort being a crazy old dude that's kind of a curmudgeon but deep down loves his family (bonus points for him being implied to be a veteran)

Yellow loves all the silly episodes and the songs but I think he'd also love Sleepytime because of Bingo's relationship with floppy reminding him of his relationship with Doggie.

Green's a toughie, but I really think he'd resonate with Space the most. He'd love the scientific aspects of Mackenzie pretending to be an astronaut, and also wanting to be the lead explorer. SPOILERS here if you haven't seen this episode, but the separation anxiety and abandonment issues that Mackenzie experiences in this episode remind me so much of Green. They way he feels like it's up to him to save 'the crew' and how terrified he actually is of being abandoned by his family, especially because it's happened before in the past. But he has to learn to trust the people he cares about to care about him in return. (🥲🥲🥲🥲)

[kudosmyhero]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (vol. 1) #30: Sky Highway

Read Date: July 08, 2023 Cover Date: April 1990 ● Writer: Rick Veitch ● Pencils: Rick Veitch ● Inks: Rick Veitch ● Letterer: Mary Kelleher ●

**HERE BE SPOILERS: Skip ahead to the fan art/podcast to avoid spoilers

Reactions As I Read: ● why does this have a Stephen King vibe to it? ● my dad had a ‘57 Bel-Air

● this issue is so weird!… but I don’t exactly hate it ● I did not expect that under his mask! eep! ● 👏👏👏

Synopsis: The issue begins on an alternate dimension interstate populated by some truly bizarro freakazoid drivers, the kind of monsters that Big Daddy Roth had nightmares about. These road rashin', gas guzzlin', gear-shiftin' grognards call themselves Mutato-Heads - and they're out to wreak havoc on the Sky Highway… and any other road that they can find. After Quake-Butt and his cohorts, Diddy Wah Daddy, Rusty Dusty and Bone Ugly have created enough roadkill carnage in their own dimension, they head for greener pastures…

The Turtles and Casey have driven out to the wilds of Massachusetts to enjoy their lunch, but before they can chow down, they hear the rumble of motors and head off to investigate. Sure enough, the Mutato-Heads have arrived in our dimension and are looking to hotwire Casey's '57 Chevy! This doesn't please Mr. Jones, so he and the Turtles haul feet down a mountain in the attempt to stop the heist… but they don't make it in time. With no alternative, the Turtles and Casey climb into the vehicles the Mutato-Heads have left behind and a chase ensues… one that leads our heroes all the way back to the Mutato-Heads' dimension!

The Turtles are more than a little surprised when they find themselves in an alternate reality populated by bizarro freakazoid drivers, but they're on a mission to get Casey's car back, so the guys set aside their shock and put the pedals to the metal in hot pursuit of the car thievin' Mutato-Heads. Raphael has an interesting encounter with Hildagaard Rail.

The guys get into all kinds of hot water, wrecking numerous vehicles and piloting new ones as they pursue the bandits. Eventually everyone ends up in one car as they try to catch the thieves. Unfortunately they discover that there's a bad side-effect to being in this dimension - it's turning Casey into a Mutato-Head! Realizing that they have to get back to their own to save Casey, the guys make one last desperate attack to get the Chevy back.

The Turtles' assault has unexpected results, however, as both the trashed vehicle the TMNT are in and Casey's car go tumbling over the side of the Sky Highway - and like the name implies - there's no ground to be seen for miles! As everyone freefalls into apparent oblivion, they suddenly warp out of the monstrous dimension and wind up in an empty parking lot back on Earth - safe and sound! Thankfully Casey has reverted back to his normal bizarro self.

The guys spot Casey's car and run over to battle the Mutato-Heads… except they don't find the monsters, they find four ordinary men! The one-time car thieves apologize for stealing Casey's car and blame it on being mutated. Casey lets them off and sends them back to their beat up jalopy as he and the Turtles head for home in the '57 Chevy.

The four men climb into what's left of their car and drive off. As they discuss the jobs that they'll be returning to, they discover something that they didn't expect… they liked their lives better as Mutato-Heads! So the foursome heads back into the dimensional portal and return to the Sky Highway, to once again wreak havoc as Quake-Butt, Diddy Wah Daddy, Rusty Dusty and Bone Ugly!

(https://turtlepedia.fandom.com/wiki/Sky_Highway)

Fan Art: TMNT Brotherhood by Blaze-Bernatt

[starfleetteddybear]

Twisting Fates of Balduran's Gates

So, I just published my first work on ao3. Feel free to check it out if it's your cup of tea. I am going to post it here on Tumblr too.

Preview:

"Well, my husband Richard is dead. My friend Gale is missing in action when I need him most. Oh, and when I visit Baldur's gate I get abducted by a Mind Flayer ship. Things can't get worse, right?"

Spoiler alert: it's gonna get way, way worse before it gets better. All the gang's here to support her though! Eventual Halsin romance (we get there when we get there). Our protagonist is an accomplished wizard in her late thirties who can't catch a break. She will be processing the loss of her husband Richard while dealing with romantic feelings for a new person (Halsin). Also, her relationship with Durge gets complicated. Durge will be Durge, but he is trying to be his best self most of the time. Durge has some mental illness/daddy issues, but don't we all? The author has played BG3 many times but will change story events and event timing sequences for the drama. This is not a faithful retelling of the game, but an exploration of how things could play out differently. Let's just have fun with it, and not take it too seriously, huh?

Chapter 1: Seduction and Abduction

The atmosphere was jovial in the Elfsong Tavern. It was just after sunset when all the reputable businesses closed their doors and patrons sought to sate a plethora of different hungers. A large group of dock workers loudly sang bawdy drinking songs and clinked glasses in time to the beat. Young would-be lovers canoodled in the alcoves, flirting and trading hushed whispers.

I miserably sat at a booth in the farthest corner, staring into my cups with a sour stomach. Richard’s ashes sat across from me as if mocking me with their very presence. My lips twisted in disgust at myself and my weakness.

“I couldn’t do it, Richard. Traveled all the way from Waterdeep, dodging bandits and pickpockets. Even minced words with a very handsy coachmen driver to make it to the tourist trap of Sorceror’s Sundries. You would have been so disappointed. It was a glorified gift shop.” I confessed, downing the rest of my cup in one go. Richard, of course, did not reply.

I waved my empty cup at a waitress who made eye contact with me. Her eyes roved over my roadworn appearance, taking in my wizard robes and my pallid complexion from long nights of study. I noted with a twinge of chagrin that her eyes lingered on the bags under my eyes and the new spouts of grey near the crown of my hair. Grief had aged me more in the last few months than my 38 years ever had. 

“No offense love, but it looks like you’ve had enough to drink today. You should go upstairs and sleep it off.” She offered, not unkindly.

An unwelcome chuckle rose out of me. “I already have a room upstairs, and I plan to return once I am insensibly drunk.”

She frowned at my response, her eyes narrowing as if she was considering chiding me. A feeling of embarrassment only grew in me, as this woman at least 10 years my junior was going to scold me. 

“Are you really going to cut me off, in front of my dead husband?” I gestured to the urn next to me with both my hands, knocking over my empty cup in the process. My face flushed from full-fledged embarrassment and all the drink rushing through my body.

Before the waitress could reply I felt a man’s warm hand rest on my shoulder, drawing my attention to his face. He was exceptionally handsome for a human man, with a strong jawline a god would envy. His eyes were so crystal blue it was like getting lost in the ocean. I felt my jaw drop open, and I might have audibly gasped in shock. 

The man gave me a megawatt smile as he ordered, “Bring us two pints of the house brew, and keep them coming.”

If the waitress was going to protest it died on her lips when the man threw down a shocking amount of gold pieces on the table. He slid into the booth with me. His arm wrapped around my shoulders, engulfing me in his warmth and the scents of soft leather and incense. The drink must have all gone to my head because I only sighed and rested my head against him. I closed my eyes imagining Richard next to me instead of a stranger, no matter how handsome he was. 

Soon the waitress came back to our table with a large platter on one arm laden with several mugs of spiced wine, and some fragrant baked goods that made my mouth water at the sight of them. I didn’t hesitate. Grabbing a gooseberry danish in one hand and a mug of wine in the other I began consuming with gusto. The quiet stranger only sipped at his own goblet and huddled me closer. I downed the first mug of wine and quickly moved onto the second hoping the alcohol would make me feel braver than I was. I felt very out of practice with the idea of spending time with a stranger. Was this how single people dated these days?

The man crooned in my ear, “Such a shame for such a beautiful woman to be left all alone on such a fantastic night such as this.” Then he sniffed my hair and his breath sent goosebumps alight on my skin.

I snorted in disbelief, and refused to look at him. “I’ve literally never looked worse. If you are looking for a sweet young thing to warm your bed tonight I’m sure there are plenty of takers with a face like yours.”

“I know a lonely soul when I see one. And any fool knows that women age like fine wine, especially in bed.” The tall, dark, and handsome stranger began kissing my neck, sending sparks down my spine. He whispered against me so quietly I almost didn’t hear his next words. “And I can’t wait to devour the sweetness of your skin. Do you taste as good as you smell? Like vanilla, patchouli, and parchment.”

I felt myself blush so hard my ears began burning.“M-Mystra’s crumpled stockings, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? I’m old enough to be your mother for goddess’ sake.”

I turned my face to see if he was mocking me, or if this was all a joke to get a big laugh for his friends hiding somewhere in the distance. His gaze was intense and sensual as he looked down at me. I saw no mocking pity there, or even humor staring back at me. He took my chin in one of his large hands, his thumb brushing over my lips. 

“Little wizard, has no one ever seduced you before?” His eyes held a hidden mirth, like only he knew a secret about me. “You seem very out of practice.”

My heart began thundering in my chest like a rabbit spotting a predator. My mouth opened, but no sound other than an embarrassed “huh?” fell out. My drink-addled brain wasn’t doing much better. This handsome man really did look at me like I was something he wanted very much to devour. No other man had ever looked at me that way in a decade, not even Richard. I had always been the one to chase him in our courtship. I was the aggressive seducer in our relationship. It felt…exciting and terrifying to have the shoe on the other foot for once.

I was so absorbed in my thoughts I startled when he surged forward closing the distance between us. His lips were on me like he was a drowning man at sea and I was the last dregs of air. The wave of want hit me so hard it was like a punch to the gut. My hands roved over his chest and his hands sunk down to my bottom pulling me onto his lap. 

“My room is upstairs if we want to take this somewhere more private,” I gasped out of breath when we came up for air. When my make out partner moved onto lavishing my neck with love bites I let out a mortifying moan that would have put sober me to shame.

He made a noise of approval against my neck, and we both hopped up. I wobbled on drunken legs, and stumbled over a chair before he scooped me up in his arms like a groom carrying his bride. A few patrons not so deep in their cups wolfishly whistled at us as I directed him up the stairs and to the room that I rented for the night. A giggle more befitting of a girl rather than a grown woman escaped me as he tossed me onto the bed, and crawled up my body to kiss me more.

“I don’t normally do things like this. Why, I don’t even know your name,” I whispered scandalously, helping him unbutton my robe. “My name is Vanessa. I’m from Waterdeep. Are you native to the gate?”

He tossed his shirt over his head, revealing a well-muscled chest. As he worked off his belt he answered in a frustrated huff, “My name is Tav, and I work down at the docks unloading ships. Keeps me fit, but man is it boring. Are we going to talk the whole night, or am I going to get lucky?”

The conversation stalled as soon as he got his pants off. I pulled him back down to me and we continued kissing as if we were dying. We didn’t bother with foreplay, both too impatient to wait longer than it took to remove our underwear. After only a moment he sunk into me, both of us moaning in delight. His pace was fast and rough as he bowed over me, but he felt so good after being alone these past few weeks. I felt my body reacting to him, but my passion cooled as he gripped me painfully tight with fingers that would leave bruises. Richard knew how I liked being touched without having to tell him. 

Rather disappointedly, the fun ended far sooner than I wished. Tav crushed me to himself right as he finished. He lay collapsed on top of me, breathing hard as I stared up at the ceiling feeling the cold wash of regret crash over me. This was a mistake. And very stupid for a smart lady like myself to do, even while drunk. I didn’t even know this man. And what I really wanted was Richard. His fingers running through my hair as we lay relaxed in bed and talked about our days. The comforting touch of his back against me as we slept. His gifted hands and mouth as he teased me to orgasm. My heart twisted so painfully in my chest I let out a audible sob as if I’d been struck and my eyes burned.

“Well, this was lovely, but I’d like my room back to myself I think,” I coughed, trying to shuck the man off me. 

Tav lifted himself up and his expression was furious. The most alarming thing about him was his bright blue eyes were now frighteningly red. Without warning he wrapped his hands around my neck and squeezed with terrifying strength. I thrashed against him and tried to break his hold with my hands, but he only tightened his grip. I couldn’t think of any spells as the mix of adrenaline and alcohol rushed through me. I would have begged for my life had I had any spare air in my lungs. I felt the blood rush around my temples. The pressure made me feel like my brain was going to explode.

That was when the room actually did explode from some big impact outside. Debris rained from the open holes in the roof and where the window used to be. Tav was knocked off of me, and I lay gasping and coughing in oxygen as the screaming from all directions began. I found the strength to pick myself off the bed. My eyes flashed over to Tav, still crumpled on the ground with his hands buried in his hair. 

“I’m sorry,” He babbled, his blue eyes filling with tears. “I’m so sorry Vanessa. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I-” 

I didn’t wait to hear the rest of what he had to say as I grabbed my still-packed bag off the wardrobe, and my outer robe off the floor as I ran out completely naked except for my bra. I stumbled down the stairs but managed to stay on my feet as I made my escape. No one paid me any attention as chaos like I never heard before blared from outside. Some people were hidden under tables while others were fleeing toward the kitchen cellar.  I was halfway out of the room before I stopped in my tracks.

Richard’s urn sat on the table near the half-eaten food and empty cups. I opened my pack and stuffed him inside, a twinge of guilt hitting me. I didn’t have time to feel sorry for myself because then I heard Tav on the stairs. 

“Vanessa, I swear I wasn’t myself. Forgive me, please!” He begged, running towards me. 

I raised my hands casting grease by his feet. He lost his balance by surprise, not even catching himself as he crashed face-first into the tile. I frowned fiercely as he groaned in pain, hoping he chipped a tooth. I wrapped my wizard robe around myself, cursing inwardly that some of the buttons had been ripped off in our haste. As he struggled to get up I hoisted up my pack on my back and dashed to the door. 

The sky was full of strange tentacled ships, and squid-man creatures were attacking people. I hesitated to leave the tavern, but I wasn’t about to stay to be attacked by a worse monster. I ran through the chaos and confusion, unsure where I was going. Somewhere safe would do. Anywhere away from Tav, and what was almost the last mistake of my life.

It was just my luck that I got grabbed by a mind flayer ship. Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

[the-void-of-my-thoughts]

The Poverty Trap

Jake never wanted to do this. He was staring at the city bank with a gleam in his eyes. 

"Drop everything you have," Jake shouted while barging inside the bank. His hands were trembling while he was holding a gun. The cashier fell unconscious with fear while the other people sat huddled in a corner, shivering. 

"I never wanted to do this, but I am desperate. I am very sorry."  he apologized while twisting his face with anxiety. He collected a large duffle bag, dashed out of the bank, jumped down the steps, and after knocking several passers-by, disappeared into the busy street while clutching the duffle bag.

As he was scampering down the street, he had a flashback of his childhood.

"Mommy, when will you play with me?" little Jake sobbed. 

"Dear, when I would be in good condition, then I'll play with you all day long," his mother said weakly. Meanwhile, Jake's father opened the door and entered inside. His eyes were blotchy and teary. He didn't get his wages for a month. 

"Jake, can you please go outside? Mommy and I need to talk," he croaked. 

"As you wish, Daddy," Jake obeyed and left the room they had rented. After some moments, he heard a loud bang that shook the corridor. Then there was another one. With curiosity, he peeked inside and shrieked. His father had shot his mother and himself.

Jake snapped out of his trance. He had lived in extreme poverty. His mother was diagnosed with cancer, but they were too poor to take her to the hospital. He had been living on the streets since his parents died. He spent his time loitering around the neighborhood till he joined a group of teenage bandits. Now, he was working alone. 

"My days of misery are finally over. Now I am rich," he thought happily to himself. He returned to his hiding place, a gloomy cave outside the city. He lighted a candle, and the whole room glimmered. After counting the money, he was astonished to know that he had stolen millions of dollars. 

"I have never had this much money in my entire life. I will move to another city and own a large mansion. I will also hire servants and make a company. I will become the richest man in the world," he dreamed happily. 

Meanwhile, Inspector Daniel was trying to track the robber with his colleagues. He checked all the CCTV footage, and after several tries, he saw a glimpse of the robber's face while he removed the mask to wipe his sweat. They started tracking the robber.

Jake was too happy for words. While packing his stuff to move away, he heard the thud of several footsteps outside. His heart started fluttering in his chest. He had tears in his eyes while he held his gun to commit the unthinkable.

"Hands up!" shouted Inspector Daniels after barging inside the cave, but his eyes had become round as saucers. He approached the dead body of the robber and pulled out the journal from his pocket. After reading it, he felt sorry for Jake and ordered the others to bury the dead body. 

"I wish this society could do anything about poverty," he sighed.

[awanderingmuse-ficrec]

Always Trust Sokka’s Instincts Series

Fandom: Avatar the Last Airbender

Author: Thisisentertaining

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Violence, Child Abuse, Imprisonment, Strong Language

Word Count:188,824

Characters: Sokka, Jet, Zuko, Smellerbee, Longshot, Pipsqueak, The Duke, Katara, Aang, Chey, Jeong Jeong, Gan Jin leader, Zhang Leader, Canyon Guide, The Gaang, Yue, Pakku, Arnook, Iroh, Zhao, Aunt Wu, Meng, The Fisherman, Zhao, Teo The Mechanist,  Bato, June, The Sun Warriors, Ran and Shaw, General Fong,  Song , OCs, Chong, Lily, Mai, Azula, Ty Lee, Tom-Tom, Mai's Parents, Bumi, Gansu, Sela, Sensu, Toph Beifong, Toph Beifong's Parents, Lee, Jet's freedom fighters

Tags: Jet is crazy, Sokka's instincts, Season 1 Ep 10, Hurt Zuko, Captivity, Non-Graphic Violence, No pairings, Angst, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Zuko and the Gaang bonding, Avatar: The Deserter, Fire Nation, Canon Divergence, Friendship, Bending, Fire Days Festival, Fire Flakes, The Great Divide, yeah that episode, Canyons, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Claustrophobia, Northern Water Tribe, Water Tribe(s), Fighting, Zuko does not like being locked up, Canon-Typical Violence, canon typical sexism, Badass Katara,  Just found that as a tag, That seems repetitve, Episode: s01e19-20 The Siege of the North, Pai Sho, the fortune tellerS1 Ep 14 The Fortune Teller, Sokka is dobtful, Zukos destiny, Basically a character, Ozai's A+ Parenting, Sokka and Zuko Friendship, Firebending  World, bending, Volcano, Avatar: S1 E12Avatar: The Storm, Boats and Ships, Backstory, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, The Blue Spirit, Atla: Season 1 Episode 13, Pohuai Stronghold, Yuyan archers, The Yuyan, Zuko doesn't know how to be good, but hes trying, the northern air temple, theatre nerd!zuko, Angry!Aang, Discussion of destoying relics, Destruction of the air temples, Hurt/Comfort, Bato of the Water Tribe, Daddy Issues, ice dodging, Pouting Aang, Discussions of dead parent, discussions of child abuse, The Avatar State, The Firebending Masters, yup, Two episodes in one,  Kinda, Dragons, Ozai's A+ Fire Lord-ing, Worldbuilding, Sun Warriors, Secret tunnel, season 2 episode 2The Cave of the Two Lovers, Zuko suffers as usual, White Jade Tea, ostrich-horses, Return to Omashu, Omashu, Discussion of contagious disease, Pentapox, The bumi box, Episode: s02e04 The Swamp, Episode: s02e07 Zuko Alone, Episode: s02e05 Avatar Day, Episode: s02e06 The Blind Bandit, The Swamp, Zuko kicks butt, Zuko Alone but he isnt alone, Episode: s02e08 The Chase, Pursuit, Slight Mai/Zuko, Girlfight, Tea, Blue Spirit, Sleep Deprivation, Arguing

Instinctual

Sokka's instincts had screamed at him ever since Jet showed his smarmy, smug, wheat chewing face, but without evidence he couldn't convince Katara and Aang to listen to him. Honestly, as time went on and he couldn't find anything to support his unease he started to doubt it himself.

Then Jet let him in on the Freedom Fighter's biggest secret.

Sokka should have known better than to ignore his instincts.

Divided Instincts

Part of the Instinctual Verse - Please read that first.

The last thing Zuko wants after years of being stuck in that cave is to see any more rocks. Unfortunately, he hadn't had luck since the day he's been born so here they were, staring at world's largest canyon.

Oh well, at least they're flying over it and he won't actually be surrounded by rock walls, right?

...right?

Instincts to Guide in the Storm

Maybe it's the possible impending doom.

Maybe it's the novelty of having someone to tell who might care.

Maybe it's just that kind of storm. The one that makes you want to curl up around a fire to tell stories, and he and Sokka aren't exempt from that even on a perilous ship.

Regardless of the reason, Zuko begins to tell the story that the Freedom Fighters never bothered to even ask about.

A Spirit’s Instincts

Aang should be the one taking care of a sick Katara and Sokka, not Zuko, but the airbender insisted that he be the one to find the medicine.

Now it's been hours, and Zuko is painfully aware that there is a Fire Nation Stronghold nearby that he hadn't been able to warn Aang about.

When the lights of Pohuai light up in victory, he knows without having to be told that Aang has been captured.

Now Zuko has a decision to make.

Could he allow his maybe-friend to be captured by the Fire Nation?

Or was he ready to be the traitor his father had branded him as.

A Fortune Teller’s Instincts

Zuko may be free from Jet, but he is struggling to earn the full trust of the Gaang.

More than that, he isn't sure what do do with his life now that he is no longer crown prince and is no longer facing a life in chains. He used to know his destiny, now he has no clue where his life should go.

Maybe the famous Aunt Wu will be able to help.

Bato’s Instincts

Katara still hates him.

Sokka is following some Water-Tribe-Father-Figure around with stars in his eyes.

Aang is pouting because his friends are paying more attention to the Water-Tribe-Father-Figure than him.

Oh, and there is a Water-Tribe-Father-Figure now. And Zuko has a wonderful track record with Fathers.

Overall, this is a /great/ time to be Zuko.

A Deserter’s Instincts

Part of the Instinctual Verse, please read that first.

It had been weeks since Sokka had freed Zuko from Jet's clutches, and Zuko... he still can't make a spark. He's spent every available moment in the sun, and while his chi is growing stronger, he can do no more than manipulate an existing flame. He's trying not to let on how... concerned he is, but since Sokka maintains that he's a 'terrible liar', he doesn't think it's particularly effective.

He knows that going to the Fire Days festival was probably a bad idea, after all there is a whole wall of wanted posters featuring them right outside the city wall. But honestly, if Zuko never made a bad decision, he'd never do anything, and he wants a taste of home so badly.

What's the worse that could happen?

The Instinct’s of the Airwalkers

Zuko wasn't sure what to think about the tales of modern day figures living and flying in the Northen Air Temple. His people are... thorough. He doesn't want to let Aang down, but he finds it hard to believe that anyone not stuck in an iceberg had escaped the eradication.

When he got to the temple, he hated being proven right. What's more, he hated seeing Earth Kingdom strangers destroying what little of Aang's heritage survived the attack of his people. But the day that the Fire Nation launches a second attack on this once idyllic temple, Zuko hates the most that he has to finally make a clear choice.

He'd thought he'd made this choice already, thought he'd made it several times over, but the question remains when he'd least like it to: Is he willing to fight against his Nation?

Cold Hard Instincts

Part of the Instinctual Verse, please read those first!

Zuko is glad that he had started getting his bending back before they hit the frigid North Pole, but it turns out that the Northern Water Tribe doesn't feel the same way.

They hadn't even gotten close to the city yet and he was half frozen in a block of ice, freezing and bound as his captors ignore Katara, Aang, and Sokka's protests. He really should have known something like this would happen, but as usual he'd underestimated his luck and now he had to come up with a way to convince the Northern Chief to allow a firebender to walk free in his village.

He HAD to, because he wasn't going to let himself become a prisoner. Not again.

The Instincts of the Sun Warriors

Zuko... may have been hasty, when he got on that raft instead of finding his friends and at least seeing if he needed to pull this disappearing act. It was day three of sitting of a raft in the middle of the ocean though, and a little too late for him to do anything about his regrets.

He had other stuff he could focus on, like perfecting the Dancing Dragon and trying to figure out why Uncle was steering them to the northern tip of the Fire Nation.

Meanwhile, the Gaang have left the North Pole and are on their way to pick up Bumi and round out the gaang, they just had to stop and talk to the General Fong guy first. This shouldn't lead to any complications, right?

The Instincts of Healers and Nomads

Zuko is, surprise surprise, on the run once again. At least this time he has Uncle, someone to watch his back and someone he can trust to know absolutely everything about his past, his identity.

Now he just has to find his friends before they do something stupid.

He isn't holding his breath.

Especially since apparently, Uncle is no better than him at identifying what plants are good to make tea out of, and which ones are poison.

Instincts in Omashu (not Bumi’s instincts)

Being on the run is bad enough, but at least they have an Ostrich Horse now. Unfortunately, that doesn't help them make money, and Zuko has to endure begging with Uncle on the streets and put up with jerks who swing swords at (seemingly) defenseless old men.

Or does he?

Meanwhile, the Gaang is braving a very different Omashu than they remember. Aang is faced with the realization that his last old friend had fallen to the Fire Nation, just like everyone else he had remembered. He does have new friends now though, and new promises. He told Zuko that he would remember that the Fire Nation soldiers were people too, and as much as he didn't want to, this was a good place to start.

Zuko’s Instincts

Zuko and the Gaang are separated.

Yes, Zuko knows that it's his fault. Now though, he is travelling with Uncle throughout the Earth Kingdom to find them, all while trying to avoid the sister hunting him down. The way is treacherous and littered with friends and enemies alike. The hot headed teen is faced time and time again with danger, both natural and born of his own making.

At least he isn't alone.

The Instincts of the Chased

Katara thought that Zuko was one of the most stubborn, heard headed people she'd ever meet.

Enter Toph Beifong.

Meanwhile Iroh is trying to figure out how to approach his nephew about his habit of running off alone, which would be easier to do if the younger firebender hadn't run off alone the instant he saw a bit of bison fur.

[maya-malfoy1012]

So... Episode 3 of The Devil Judge... let's get into it! I wrote a page of notes, this episode had a lot to offer. But before we get into it, let's just recap on the ending of episode 2... cauuussseeee

I was watching the UST confrontation, thinking they were going to bang against the windows. I'm minding my own business, just admiring the cinematography - as they had bisexual lighting throughout -

(I can only watch it in the worst quality lol)

Then shit blew up! And they're saving each other like all angsty vampy boyfriends do.

(he should have carried him bridal style... just sayin')

Then we get into episode 3. Which has all of the marks of every Forced Proximity Yaoi story ever! Even includes non-consensual touching and one character (usually the younger) not being allowed to leave or move around their surroundings freely... which is... fun. "It's not like I want to do it" sure, Jan. (also, they keep mentioning their age gap, I think they're into it.....)

This leads to Gaon's Belle arc of discovering what's in the west wing. (The house's decor is super... not my taste). The Nanny/mother step-in character reminds me of Bae Hae Sun's character in Hotel De Luna (Choi Seo Hee). Daddy Bandit is super possessive over his new twink, even going as far as almost shouting "ARE YOU DATING?" to Soo Hyun. super suss. Sun A thinks she's hot. She really had her "step on me, Mummy" glow up and I respect that. Kyung Hee is surrounded by idiotic men BUT that does lead us to her house which is Han Ki Hwan's house!!! I was so happy when I saw it then I felt so sad because... it's where the rich boys go to get emotionally (sometimes physically) abused by their parent. This house is also featured in Stranger and every time there was a scene in THE living room, I kept saying out loud: "that's where Han Joo Won got his heart broken" or "some very sad things happened here" or "NOOO joo won... DONG SIIIIIKKK"... I am pathetic and annoying. (Also, I think the derelict sight is the same location where they shot Lee Sang Yeob's death scene) I will say I like the way TDJ is handling the dystopia themes. It feels very realistic and it isn't too glamourised, which a lot of movies/TV shows do. So, that's a really nice aspect of the show. The court scene is actually kind of funny (not in a bad way)

Trauma Bandit's backstory is definitely a child abuse 101 storyline, even includes a shitty reason for his awful treatment. (the dad is a right twat). I haven't paid too much attention to the older brother storyline but if he and Gaon are related, I'll be pissed. It's an odd thing to include considering Daddy Bandit and Gaon are going to fuck. There's no doubt in my mind that they're going to have sex. And even if we don't see it, it's still happening! Oh, and... just because you're traumatised, it doesn't give you the right to murder people, Daddy Bandit. Anyway, speak soon!! :)

[cue circus music]

episode 02 ending & episode 3. ah yes, the banes of my existence (:

I was watching the UST confrontation, thinking they were going to bang against the windows.

HELPP the UST was blasting through the roof. I honestly loved how they introduced two female leads, starting off with the implication that they're the very possible romantic counterparts and then dunked the whole show into homoerotism and UST.

just admiring the cinematography - as they had bisexual lighting throughout -

listen, the cinematography? it was out of the fucking world. honestly perspective changes, camera tilts that captures imbalance (whether emotional or power) and the f r a m e s. honestly so capturing.

the b i s e x u a l l i g h t i n g (screams)

(I can only watch it in the worst quality lol)

oof help is it netflix 😭

Then shit blew up! And they're saving each other like all angsty vampy boyfriends do.

KJERDXEFKDCX ANGSTY VAMPY BOYFRIENDS Yohan looks very much like some modern Count Dracula --its the bow me thinks

(he should have carried him bridal style... just sayin')

dsjksjdjk perhaps because gaon's taller than him and trauma bandit's but a smol man

Which has all of the marks of every Forced Proximity Yaoi story ever!

the way i did not realise that until now. ohmygod

Even includes non-consensual touching and one character (usually the younger) not being allowed to leave or move around their surroundings freely... which is... fun.

I also do think that the Nurse/Patient trope (which I'm basing off of Back to The Future, but for all I know could be absolutely rare af) is depicted here. Usually in the trope, the nurse and patient are shown to be more susceptible to have feelings due to sympathy and forced proximity (+ if the patient has some incredibly heroic/awing reason for being injured). I think Beauty and the Beast, you've mentioned Gaon's Bella Arc, also features the nurse/patient trope when the Prince/Beast gets attacked trying to save Bella from the wolves.

It is interesting though, that it should be Gaon who's injured and nursed back to life when we have Yohan, who's the primary choice for the Beast/Prince.

(also, they keep mentioning their age gap, I think they're into it.....)

at this point, watching TDJ is just a progression of kink reveals lmao

This leads to Gaon's Belle arc of discovering what's in the west wing. (The house's decor is super... not my taste).

Continuing from before, it's quite interesting that their dynamics are not set in stone. They frequently exchange roles, albeit most of the time it's not prominent.

Also, if we set apart the BATB trope, Gaon's totally the knight in shining armor even if Daddy Bandit denies it (the house.... it's something alright)

The Nanny/mother step-in character reminds me of Bae Hae Sun's character in Hotel De Luna (Choi Seo Hee).

ah i havent really watched Hotel De Luna, i'm putting it off becuz i heard that there's some real sad stuff but I can see the similarities in their character presentation

Daddy Bandit is super possessive over his new twink, even going as far as almost shouting "ARE YOU DATING?" to Soo Hyun. super suss.

my dude's just totally in over his head thinking he's very chill but just a walking talking emotional disaster

on a serious note though, i think he's more than aware of soohyun's friendship with gaon and it was a deliberate poke to dissuade her (or perhaps, in an emotionally/possessive sense to sting her?)

Sun A thinks she's hot. She really had her "step on me, Mummy" glow up and I respect that.

Jung Sun Ah is just a total badass and if I ever meet her I would run far far away 😂

...her house which is Han Ki Hwan's house!!! I was so happy when I saw it then I felt so sad because... it's where the rich boys go to get emotionally (sometimes physically) abused by their parent.

WAIT HELP I DID NOT NOTICE THAT IREFDJKSDJK tbf i was more focused in practicing imaginary archery on han kihwan

"that's where Han Joo Won got his heart broken" or "some very sad things happened here" or "NOOO joo won... DONG SIIIIIKKK"... I am pathetic and annoying.

EJDKEISDJK LMAO "some very sad things happened here" -- some miserable real estate agent of an haunted house, probably

"I am pathetic and annoying" ah yes the self realisation /t no but i have had this same exact thought when i paused the show for the zillionth time to explain the significance of the fucking rain to my friend

Also, I think the derelict sight is the same location where they shot Lee Sang Yeob's death scene

oooh interesting, i wonder how many shooting locations BE and TDJ share hmm

I will say I like the way TDJ is handling the dystopia themes. It feels very realistic and it isn't too glamourised, which a lot of movies/TV shows do. So, that's a really nice aspect of the show.

right?? i honestly adore that it's pretty much covering the escalating socio-political and economic crisis under the dystopian theme? it also feels very much a commentary on the contemporary issues of the world. along with that, in episode one there's a shot with the word "utopia" that reminded me of this book (i haven't read it but i know of the premise) "The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas". It talks of an utopian society that has built itself upon the suffering of a single child. For the society to prosper the child must be suffer. To my knowledge, the Snowpiercer (the film) and BTS's "Spring Day" are based on it thematically.

The court scene is actually kind of funny (not in a bad way)

yeah no i fucking cackled at that scene

Trauma Bandit's backstory is definitely a child abuse 101 storyline, even includes a shitty reason for his awful treatment. (the dad is a right twat)

the dad's a right bastard

but if he and Gaon are related, I'll be pissed.

Dude (gender neutral) I was flabbergasted when they went "Oh Yohan's big brother actually looks exactly like Gaon :D" like??? During Ep 1 flashbacks, I honestly expected them to go with an amnesiac route (where Gaon forgets about Yohan) or maybe "found comfort/helped each other during this tragedy for one day and then became nameless strangers again" route but noooo they had to go with the "ah yes this possible romantic option who is is identical to mc's brother" i blame the bloody censor

There's no doubt in my mind that they're going to have sex. And even if we don't see it, it's still happening!

there's so much off-screen gaps that the possibility of it not happening is lower than zero

Oh, and... just because you're traumatised, it doesn't give you the right to murder people, Daddy Bandit.

Man's just so morally tilted lmao, but ahem, I heard that you liked morally grey characters [blinks]

I really enjoyed this update heh, your brain is just. galaxy and i can't wait to see more of your thoughts hehe