#dall asmr

[wizardpigeon]

Those of you in the assorted asmr discord servers I am relying on you to relay it when I say something funny and/or i occasionally pull art out of my arse >:( /lh

[grizzy-ly]

Depths (Nix!Krueger x Reader)

In which Krueger is a *completely* innocent water spirit who just wants to talk to you... C'mon, don't be harsh, sit down, relax, *hold your breath*-- or don't.

[Inspired by Dall ASMR's Nøkken series on YouTube]

I have been frothing at the mouth for more dedicated Krueger content, here is my offering for anyone else who has been put in a stranglehold by the other Austrian war criminal of the COD fandom-- if I had a nickel...

This is my first fanfic I've publicly posted online and my first truly sort-of completed one (may eventually write another part-- *eventually*), also posted it to my ao3: grizz_ly.

Reader is gender-neutral.

Word Count: 3,484

Content Warning: Yandere-ish behavior, attempted murder/drowning of reader, successful drowning/murder of other people, descriptions of drowning

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“Do not venture close to the water,” you were incessantly warned upon first arriving, “Do not speak to it, and do not let it take you.”

When you tried to ask questions the townsfolk would shush you– it was taboo to speak about the lake or what it was. 

When prying anyway, you would get hushed pity directed toward those with sons and daughters who had been ripped from their loved ones; they would stray too far away from the safety of beaten trails and end up swallowed by the lake, spit back out onto the shore with blue-tinged skin and clouded, vacant eyes– now forever young. 

In the back of the local inn, when the locals had one too many, you’d hear the speculative whispers of it…

“... vengeance from a displeased water spirit?”

“... perhaps a curse from the devil himself… a punishment for our sin.”

“... they simply drank too much and believed themselves to be stronger swimmers than they were.”

As the discussions grew louder and slurred they would be scolded into silence, lest they invoke the lake’s wrath or fuel baseless superstition.

Whether one considered the tales of malevolent beings superstition or fact, one thing was certain– no one ventures to the lake. It was not worth the risk. Even the harshest skeptic carefully planned their routes away from the lake.

You too took great care to avoid the lake when you finally departed the village. Stepping onto the beaten grass of the worn path you began your several-day walk to the next point along your journey. As you passed by where the lake would be according to your map you heard the muffled sounds of… music?

You had heard many things out in the forest: birds chirping, the rustling of the brush as you stepped past, the gentle purrs of a rushing stream– but you had not heard music. You had never heard music this enchanting in fact.

You could not help yourself as you stepped off of the path into the tall grass that swayed in the breeze, and now with your movement. Your feet seemed to move on their own. You just wanted to… get a better listen to the music. As you ventured further away from the path you justified it with the notion that you would simply avoid getting too close to its edge. Just a look and listen wouldn’t hurt. How could it? It couldn’t. 

The ground underfoot grew soft as you maneuvered between trees and the tall grass transitioned to a lush moss. You soon found yourself on a raised ledge overlooking the water– though not too far up, the drop is only around half of your height. 

You can’t see the bottom of the lake; its visibility is done no favors by the tangles of weeds concealing the bed and lilies dotting the surface. The lake dazzles with the sun’s rays, though the overlook is dim due to the cover from the trees, which also allows for a comfortable chill to permeate the air.

Despite its serenity, it was… underwhelming.

You had expected something. With how dangerous the lake had been described– as a vicious, indiscriminate killer of the young– it was almost too calm, too peaceful, too… normal.

“Hallo,” a voice called out from a nearby rock peeking out of the water, it caused you to snap your head towards the source.

You size up the man. The first thing you notice is the net covering his face with foliage and other flora tucked into it, his attire besides that being plain garb and a cloak carelessly draped into the water, thus wetting the hem. The second thing you noticed was the instrument, a violin– likely the source of the music you heard.

As the silence dragged on it was broken by the sounds of a few strings of the violin being plucked as the man fiddles with it, “Ach… do not tell me you are too scared to speak? Schade…”

The stillness of the lake is emphasized by the quietness of this moment– why is it so quiet? No chirping birds, no rustling animals, no splashing fish… the only other noise besides your breathing is him slowly tuning his instrument.

“Hm…” you can see his veil shift as he seems to tilt his head, “That bad?”

“What do you mean?” You say slowly.

“What the townsfolk must have said to you…” he chuckles, “I must admit… I thought you’d run off by now, it’s been too long since anyone has spoken with me… the– the verdammt villagers blame me and paint me as a monster, but you– you don’t seem as… quick to assume, yes? Innocent until proven guilty, ja?”

You suppress a flinch at the momentary vitriol in his voice when talking about the townspeople, “I–”

“Please just… stay here with me for a moment and… speak to me? Bitte?” You can hear the hope in his pleading.

“... Alright.” You say with a hesitant nod.

“Thank you,” he says as he focuses back on his violin, after a beat he speaks again with a laugh, “You know… I asked if you could speak with me. I’m sure you have questions, so, ask them– just an idea. Just an idea.”

“Sorry, I–” you try to think of a question feeling suddenly pressured and struggling to find the right thing to ask. You settle on the most obvious, “What’s your name?”

“I go by many names… you can call me Krueger,” he says simply, “Yours?”

You give him your name and he simply hums in response. He is… not working with you here to help carry along the conversation to attempt to force you to speak more.

“...” you steel your nerves and force out your next question, “What are you?”

“Harmless–” Krueger laughs, “You treat me like I am going to bite your head off or drown you, relax some of that tension you’re carrying… I wouldn’t hurt a fly–” “You know what I mean,” you say hesitantly, “You’re not human. At least I don’t think you’re human.”

“Ach, I am offended,” he says shaking his head with a playful click of the tongue, “I am that awful? Not even a person… you hurt me so.”

“You… are you messing with me,” you ask.

“No… no, never, never,” Krueger says as he plucks the strings again before clicking his tongue, “Maybe– only a smidge…”

You then sit in the familiar lull of the conversation– you should get back to the trail, it’ll be a long walk and you start to feel like you’re wasting time.

“I should–” you begin but are quickly interrupted.

“Stay… stay?” Krueger says, “Yes, I agree. Aw… I’m sorry, am I getting to you, I don’t mean to… I just like to have a bit of fun… it’s in my nature…”

“I need to–” interrupted again.

“Is someone expecting you,” Krueger asks.

“...” You wonder if you should be honest, “No.”

Kruger huffs, “Then you do not need to leave. Sit, sit– just for a moment. It is peaceful here is it not? Take in the sights… it’s the journey that matters.”

You want to leave but at the same time… this… man? Creature? It doesn’t matter– Krueger does not seem like the monster you expected. What harm could humoring him do? Besides you feel intrigued by the strange man.

So you sit on a nearby log that is almost precariously close to the water, placing your packed belongings at your feet.

Kruger pauses, “You’re staying?”

“Should I g–”

“Bleib, geh nicht!” Krueger exclaims as he puts his arms out in a surrendering motion. He slowly relaxes, clearing his throat before he speaks again, “I mean– Of course, you would stay. Yes, yes. Of course”

You drum your fingers against the log as you watch Krueger. He climbs off of his rock and stands in the opaque water, keeping his violin held firmly on his shoulder.

“How deep is the water?” You ask.

“Not deep, no, not at all,” Krueger says, “Why? Would you like to join me?”

Not deep…

How could so many drown in shallow water? Your thoughts travel to your memories of the words of the townsfolk in the inn.

Krueger…

You feel your stomach sink as you reconsider your decision to stay. Krueger seems to sense your apprehension.

“Would you like to hear a song?” Krueger pleads, “It was my music that drew you here wasn’t it? I am quite the violinist, ja? I’m sure you’d love to hear the rest… surely…?”

You can’t deny that the music had drawn you here, and you did want to hear more.

You wave your hand, “Please, go ahead.”

Krueger adjusts his violin to rest against his shoulder, gently placing his chin on the rest. He moves his net off of the violin and then starts to play. His fingers move across the fingerboard, deftly weaving an intricate melody. The way he plays is hypnotizing. You rest your head on your closed fist as your expression goes from amused to moved. You don’t even notice him moving closer, too consumed by the music to pay attention to him slowly wading through the water towards you.

Before you realize it, he grabs at your bag, splashing away with something in his hand.

Your compass.

“Hey!” You say as you stand up, “You can’t just– give that back!”

Krueger slowly trudges back to the rock he had been sitting on, securing his violin on top before inspecting your compass.

“Ah, your compass is fine,” he announces as he inspects it, “I was just curious– since when was curiosity such a crime?”

You shake your head in disbelief, your features contorting into an anger-induced shock, “You can’t just– give that back. Now.”

He doesn’t seem to be listening to you instead muttering about the quality of the metal and craftsmanship of the compass.

“Are you– are you being serious!?” You yell, “Come back here!”

Krueger laughs slightly as he approaches the edge of the water again, “I apologize here…” As you reach for the compass he pulls his hand away, “-- It truly is a marvelous compass, where did you get it?” He seems so sincere and innocent– like he didn’t steal from you a moment ago.

“Krueger–”

“Oh, I do so love it when you say my name,” he says, “What is it?”

“You know exactly–”

“Ah, yes, your compass? Why do you need it? Wouldn’t you like to stay here a bit longer…” If you could see his face you are sure he’d be frowning.

“Krueger–!” 

“Oh, you spoil me so…” Krueger sighs, “You can have it back…” You put out your hand, but then nearly boil over as he completes his sentence, “If you come get it from me.”

“Give it.” You say.

“Take it,” he retorts, “The water is fine… what harm will it do? It is a nice day.”

You feel a chill run up your spine, “No. I…”

Your body realizes the danger of this situation before you do. You feel the phantom sensation of movement, your legs begging you to leave your compass and run.

“Give me my compass,” you say, but the waver in your voice betrays your faux confidence.

Krueger is still for a moment before he motions with his hand for you to come closer, “Fine.”

You stomp over, teetering on the edge of the lake and nearly losing your balance as you crouch. You seethe with anger as you jut your hand out, “Now.”

Krueger hands it back, you lean forward to try to grab it sooner as he moves agonizingly slow. Suddenly he lunges at you. In a swift movement clamps his hand onto your presented wrist and tugs you harshly. As you lose your balance you topple into the water. Time slows as you fall towards the water.

The lake is deeper than you had imagined– or maybe it just feels deeper as you aren’t allowed to bring yourself back above the surface with Krueger keeping you under.

Despite being under the surface you can hear him laugh as if you were still out of the water.

“What? Can you not swim?” Krueger coos as he tries to ensnare you in his arms further, “Or did you just not get enough air? Ah, did I take your breath away perhaps? … Well if I didn’t I will…”

You flail about in the darkness, your movements sluggish as you try to move your limbs in the water. You try to grasp at anything to orient yourself. Your feet connect with the bottom of the lake as you kick.

“Stop,” Krueger growls as he strains to try to hold you down, “It is not so bad. Stop– stop fighting.”

Panic runs icy hot in your veins.

“I know… I know…” Krueger says as you thrash in his arms, twisting and turning wildly, “Come now… don’t struggle. Don't you want the last thing you feel to be love? Why must you fight me… I just… want to hold you. Tsk, that is not so bad…”

The water stings your eyes.

“Let me hold you. Deep breaths… deep breaths…” Krueger murmurs trying to lull you to just give in, “Let me take you away from it all… rest… rest now… you’re safe… I’m here…”

Your lungs burn as your chest spasms.

Krueger speaks to you in a hushed tone full of affection, “I can’t help it… when I see someone as beautiful as you, I want to hold you, squeeze you, and preserve your beauty forever… wouldn’t you like to be forever beautiful… forever young… forever loved… lass dich lieben.”

Your mind runs amok as you seem unable to form any coherent thoughts not consumed by fear or spoken by your survival instinct.

“This moment would be so beautiful if you– if you would just let it!” He can’t keep his annoyance from bubbling up at your continued resistance.

Your vision vignettes, the dark water growing impossibly black. 

You want to let go. You want to stop fighting. You want to breathe… but you don’t want to die.

Your hands feel fabric and you pull, which elicits a yelp from Kreuger. Krueger stops trying to grasp you as you feel him move back in the water allowing you to resurface.

Your head pops back up above the water and you gulp air as you greedily fill your lungs. Your head reels and your eyes pound in your skull. Your heart hammers in your chest as you splash away, almost losing your balance several times as your feet slip against the slimy rocks lining the lake bed. You crash into the jagged face of the overlook you had been standing on, digging your back against it as you breathe through your bared teeth. You try to scramble up but it’s too slick to get a good grasp on any of the rocks, and the foliage just slides through your fingers.

You reach up to grab a dagger from your pack, brandishing it at Kreuger who is casually readjusting his veil. He is in no rush to get back to you. Instead, he allows you to tire yourself out as you fruitlessly try to drag yourself from the lake, scuffing up your hands and back in the process.

“If you wanted to see me without the veil you could have asked,” Krueger says, “I would have said no, but it’s the thought that counts.”

“You–” You say through harsh breaths, “You– Why?!”

“It’s not personal… you humans always take everything so personally,” Krueger tuts, “You put up quite the fight… impressive, almost.”

“You’re a monster–” “I am not… well, perhaps I am a monster, but not like that… I am a monster with feelings… that you just hurt.” Krueger tries to trudge towards you but stops as you wave your dagger around, reminding him of what the consequences would be if he got too close, “Do you even care that you hurt them? Ach… who is the real monster. Hm?”

“You!” You scoff, “You are the monster!”

“I am not a monster…” Krueger takes a deep breath, “I am simply… following the natural order of things. I am innocent in all of this.”

“Innocent?!” You exclaim, “Innocent?!”

“Yes, yes, that is what I said I am glad you are listening,” Krueger says, “I am innocent. As are you–”

“You are–” You let out a frustrated yell as you try to clamber out of the water again to no avail.

“I’m what?” Krueger just watches you, amused by your behavior, “I know what you are… a fighter, ja? It’d be so much easier if you accepted this…”

You start to swear at Krueger, cursing him out. You internally curse yourself for having gotten into this situation.

“You’re a murderer,” you say, “How many people–” You can’t even choke out the words through your disgust, “How many?”

“I am no murderer,” he scoffs, “I am simply doing what I am meant to do. I am innocent here, merely a victim of the natural order of things. Murderers kill unlawfully, none of what I do is unlawful as it is according to nature’s laws. I am not a murderer by definition.”

You stare at him with wide eyes and brows knitted in repulsed disbelief, your anger momentarily put on pause, “There is no way you’re being serious.”

“I know what you are thinking,” Krueger’s veil moves as he shakes his head, “I do not want you to be hurt, and I won’t hurt you– I am not cruel, I am not a monster. It wouldn’t hurt… you are not thinking straight… you are just panicking… let me hold you…”

Krueger attempts to move towards you again, reigniting your fury.

“Stop– stop swinging that thing about, you are going to hurt someone.” You almost slash Krueger’s arm as he reaches out towards you causing him to snap at you, “Schluss jetzt!”

He tries to lunge again to grab you. You plunge your dagger into the soft flesh of his inner arm.

“Scheißkerl!” Krueger exclaims as he clutches his arm and stumbles back.

You take your chance and grab onto an exposed tree root, hauling yourself onto the overlook in your adrenaline-fueled haste.

“No!” Krueger growls as he grabs your ankle. You had not noticed his claws, but they were impossible to ignore as they dug into you, surely drawing blood, “No! You will not leave! Stay! Stay with me! Stay!”

You flip yourself onto your back and kick at him, your foot connecting with his head. It barely phases him, only making him more desperate. He climbs further out of the water grasping onto one of your thighs with his hand as he tries to use it as an anchoring point to pull himself up, or pull you down– he wasn’t picky.

“You will die out in that forest!” Krueger says, “I am offering you a peaceful death in my arms–! I am offering you mercy– You should be thanking me–! Do you forget you don’t even have your compass?!”

You grab the strap of your pack with your hands not caring to make sure your belongings are secured before you lift it– far too consumed with your need to survive by any means necessary. Your belongings could be replaced, but you could not. You swing the heavy bag at Kreuger’s head staggering him back and causing him to slide down into the water. You crawl back from the lake securing your pack over your shoulder as you begin to make distance. Krueger screams, all pretenses of civility dead.

“You– you!” Krueger says, “You verdammter Wachbirn!”

You jump to your feet and run from the lake, hoping that you can find your way back to the path– praying that you will make it to your next destination. I’ll be fine, you think, follow the path, simple enough.

You are too focused on escaping from your brush with death to listen to the impotent rage of Krueger. “I could get you if I wanted to! You just aren’t worth the effort– you ungrateful– Ach! When you are delirious from starvation I hope you remember how you denied my offer! How you chose to die alone, painfully,” Krueger calls out, “I hope the last thing you feel is regret!”

Krueger grumbles, his face twitching as he watches you slowly fade from view, obscured by the branches and brambles of the woods. He grips the dagger lodged in his arm and wrenches it out with a grunt, too consumed by anger to even fully take in the pain.

“You left your dagger!” Kruger cries but receives no response.

He turns and throws the dagger as far as he can into the lake with a loud bark of frustration.

He slinks back into the water as he takes in the solitude that has been his only lasting companion, “They’ll be back… they always come back…”

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Translations:

Hallo = Hello Ja = Yes Schade = A pity Verdammt = Damned Bitte = Please Bleib, geh nicht = Stay, don't go Lass dich lieben = Let yourself be loved Scheißkerl = Son of a bitch/Bastard Verdammter Wachbirn = Damned/Fucking Idiot (Austrian term for idiot)

[247hypnoslave]

Best Voices of Youtube [Imo]

Title says it all. These are the people and their ASMRs, or general hypno content, who make me melt, every time. This will be updated often, so check back again! In no particular order:

Ycey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0uAHQQMqPY&t https://youtu.be/YXGa_NaYCHE?si=QH6mLn2xqoT7TmCH

Dall: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHuou43X78E https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bN5ZhQz6Nuw&list=WL&index

Secret Subject: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eWeG6wHyIk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgLMRDG_MJg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0GKZR0aUQg https://youtu.be/gRKoTDUGlAc?si=0I4FQ56WPvWmK-YK

Jupiter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ej4nvpIqM_0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YZpbr-vLeA&t https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edHttHvqT5E

Sanguine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9L3V6dLSLyI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CREIiN8mr0c https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLY2eF32nPec33y261uitLsqCvA4gxRMgy https://youtu.be/mBddkONCD-I?si=-0Xrnl2uM6tdpve1 https://youtu.be/acKRVXmIqEs?si=zH3rxDuiH6fl-ASi https://youtu.be/I7L-AUF287Y?si=QmA8Xewy97gP1nxX https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLY2eF32nPec0bAQ_wAQQGrignfa1vcm5w https://youtu.be/cVKEybwWbNE?si=joYiaPykjN5__BNp https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLY2eF32nPec0YvrwOllM3qDRONx5CW80-&si=wl_FrnOw9oA7HAmZ

Wolf Z Row: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66wT2bLfZq0

Modern-Day Mage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtoT0njWvCU&t https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qot23dFdq-k https://youtu.be/EScafLIzaXM?si=o1FckvUkG6MbDXaI

Prince Kairo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Gr8r_TVcx4&t https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CujrbeIMvA&t https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cLU11y3bjE https://youtu.be/BLMcXC-dWVA?si=lhwuOUMWWQCGmKzR https://youtu.be/qImBRV34IHA?si=qX1w1qBRgpbSFzgI https://youtu.be/VwP5mZ6SRz8?si=vS7Xb0kro4u8O7vb https://youtu.be/4-kXruawoKo?si=kQTCtOmZps-Qfx_P https://youtu.be/9xlnHGZDq7g?si=LQ52Ywp_W0gllvRf

Hypnotic Experience: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC5biSBzKzg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4CKEoq8Yq4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk4fAL1aIf8 https://youtu.be/JKg9nhs-b0I?si=68AJp3jxj2h3frpa https://youtu.be/6ZBCboJuMxY?si=iVMaE6z8a9vZC_nf

Redacted audio: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLEm8kgm65Yt6wQGDKhVatOPqyO-wj9CUH

M.A.D.: https://youtu.be/yeYsc0M7gDI?si=wyD-JsAfKmSa8I5K https://youtu.be/OFDp-Mqt4qs?si=K0wrjcJen4Q-ruUc

Monsiuer Laurent: https://www.youtube.com/@MonsieurLaurent/videos

Shadowghast [aka Zombie Cat]: https://youtu.be/yukfUXhIvDc?si=rphbv3aCGZD8SOKl https://youtu.be/nKXxxNKEj0E?si=7QHcANOtvboimDwP

Easton and Emmary: https://youtu.be/GK1FgqpD3zM?si=bdzF-pZGSQx8BDVA https://youtu.be/nz5NvZPcFtE?si=AN4B-9tlH5rAu2_U https://youtu.be/OVu-6YzKfCY?si=fUg18KlYNJ4Hv_A6

Banshee: https://youtu.be/4suviY-o_H0?si=yOW06xm3Q5J8txub https://youtu.be/n_Onx6uwUpU?si=7eDQy3P3XKCoqE1V

[insidereagan]

~brett hand + reagan ridley stim headcanons!~

sfw! altho mentions of stimming, which could cause unwanted/involuntary stimming for some autistic ppl

my chronic pain is rlly bad today so idk I felt like writing this lmaoo

so I hc them both to be autistic but at completely different places on the spectrum. They both stim, but in different ways!

brett:

OH <33 THIS MAN LOVES TO STIM AND DOES IT ANYTIME HE CAN

he used to suck at hiding it, was bullied for it as a kid, and now suppresses them when he can :’(

but now he’s unlearning the harmful things he was taught and is slowly learning to unmask!

HE LOVES VESTIBULAR STIMS AAH

like put him in a room with a spinny chair, and yea, serious and focused brett hand™️ is gone.

HE 100% MAKES LIL NOISES AND GIGGLES WHILE HES SPINNING <33 LIKE “WHEEE!” HE JUST LIKES TO SPIN OKAY

although after about 5 minutes of nonstop spinning, it actually helps him work and even focus better! (the reason why he struggled sm in school was bc he wasn’t allowed to stim) when I’m struggling to come up with ideas (I’m writing the synopsis/bible for a cartoon rn!) spinning helps, and I feel like it would help brett too.

and the smile he makes when he’s finally able to unmask and be,, well,, just be brett is *chefs kiss* 👌🏼

HE ALSO LOVES TO DOODLE IT HELPS HIM FOCUS SM <33

LIKE.. just give brett a piece of paper and a pen, and 5 minutes later, BOOM, you can no longer see what was originally on it, it just has bretts lil doodles. even if it’s for work though, the gang is never pissed at him. they’re just happy he’s finally expressing himself and not surprising his stims

which is why he always he has a piece of paper while he works to doodle on!! so there’s no random drawings of dogs, and cartoon characters on important docs for the shadow board.

he loves fidget toys. I feel like he has a large ass box of them on his desk, and if someone even dares touch them without asking, he’s gonna be mad.

he won’t mind if your a close friend or you ask first tho!

He also 100% has echolalia!! (Repeating quotes)

Some of his favourites are “dall-e!” “To infinity and beyond!” And things like that!!

He also LOVES auditory stims. Music, asmr etc. And then with that, he does lil dances!! Not big ones, just lil sways and things like that.

It’s also canon he’s into smell stims. In the 80s episode with the scented markers!

there’s this shop in the Uk called smiggle which sells kawaii scented markers. They don’t sell them in america, but brett 100% got them on eBay or smth, and keeps them on his desk!

OH <33 AND WHEN HE SQIEEZED THE EARTH STRESS BALL THIS MAN CANONICALLY STIMS

AND HE JUDT LOVES TO BE TOUCHED AND CUDDLED AAH <33

In conclusion, this man loves to stim all the time.

reagan

unlike brett, she still suppresses her stims and is really shy about them. although rand obviously didn’t understand how they actually helped her focus so he never let them stim

she was so damn shy about them as a kid :( she only really was able to stim in her bedroom and even then she was so self conscious

orrin helped her embrace her stims but obviously she can’t remember that. But orrin is autistic too and they’d have lil stim sessions together in between sessions at school. orrin was diagnosed so he had more resources! but sadly his parents didn’t rlly care about him so him and reagan learned about autism together!

speaking of, that’s the reason why reagan is so reluctant about autism. she realised she matched up with all the traits, she told rand, but he shut her down saying that she’s “too smart to be autistic” (which isn’t true btw!!)

but back to stimming, I feel like reagan would really enjoy smelling essential oils. not ones that smell so strong they give yoy a headache, ones that have a nice smell that’s not too faint and not too strong. ones like maybe lavender, ylang ylang and the like.

she also likes fidget toys! but more small/discreet ones, like bicycle chains, slap bands etc

we know she hates hugs, but she melts when people ask her for a hug, and mostly accepts it when she’s asked.

she also has this.. one song she listens to on repeat? idk what it is, but anytime she gets over stimulated, she listens to it.

popping bubble wrap also helps when she’s stressed!! she likes textile stims a lot.

she struggles a lot with hygiene but when she does wash, she feels extremely claustrophobic in showers so she tends to take baths. but if the water is anything under burning, she gets extremly overstimulated.

when brett sees her stimming, she’s so scared, but brett reassures her it’s okay and that he stims too!!

that’s kind of what started her unmasking journey.

she’s still struggling a lot, and rarely stims but she’s doing so well! and brett and the others are so proud of her

I hope you guys enjoyed!! This was a shit ton of self inserting lol

[caw-oticdork]

Ranking Dall-e Mini interpretations of the Fears from TMA based on whether I’d listen to music albums with those images on the cover.

I entered all of the Fears’ titles into Dall-e Mini to see what it comes up, and because of the format of those titles, a lot of those seemed to result in album covers. So instead of ranking the results based on accuracy or something, I’ll rank them based on whether I’d listen to the bands who made those albums.

Most of them veer towards metal, which isn’t really my jam, so they’ll have to try hard. Let’s go!

The Buried:

Aside from the one with the tree and the one with the skull, these don’t grab my attention at all. Maybe the middle low as well? Wouldn’t pay money to get these albums, probably wouldn’t check them out if I had other music available, but do they look like they could be a hit with people that like the genre, so I’ll be generous: 3/10

The Corruption:

While I’m still unsure about it, these feel more like I could like them, especially the ones in the middle and lower middle. Might try these, but no guarantee. 5/10

The Dark

These are badly lit screenshots from some tv show or movie, not music album covers. I guess it could work as covers for the soundtrack of that movie/show? That could be cool if it was something I was a fan of, but I don’t think I would be, those screenshots don’t entice me. 0/10

The End

Ok, now this is what I’m talking about! Still not sure if I’d like the genre (looks like death metal to me), but aside from the lower left and lower middle, all of these look absolutely magnificent! I especially like those creatures! I’d want to have these albums in my home even if I only listen to them once so that I can recommend it to friends who like the genre more. 9/10

The Desolation

These look generic, but might be cool? I’m not really interested. 3/10

The Extinction

Surreal and trippy. Kind of gives off the vibe of environmental themes but still feels chill? These look like my kind of thing. 11/10

The Eye

I like stuff with an eye-theme, and so does this band apparently. I have no idea what the genre is, but I’d probably check these out. That lich-thing in the lower middle looks awesome, so that gets bonus points. 7/10

The Flesh

No thanks. 0/10

The Hunt

Big genre shift! This band seems to like deer a lot. Deer are nice. Good thing I’m not ranking based on whether the images are actually scary, because this very much ain’t. Pretty pastoral. Folk music perhaps? I’d check it out. 8/10

The Lonely

Oh, spooky and mysterious, I like it! Would most certainly check these out, especially the ones in the lower row and the top left. Whether I like it would probably depend on how sad the lyrics are, if they’re too depressing I’d probably stop listening. But otherwise it looks like my taste in music. 10/10

The Slaughter

Ok, I should have guessed that there’s at least one existing band called “The Slaughter”, that’s on TMA for not giving that fear more titles. This doesn’t make me want to listen to whatever it is, but I feel bad about the lackluster prompt, so it gets pity points. 2/10

The Spiral

So either this band’s album cover artist isn’t very original with their ideas or these are cover art options for the same album. I’ll assume it’s the latter. Makes me think of hypnotic, ASMR-ish music? I might check it out, but from my experience with that kinda stuff, I don’t have much hope. 5/10

The Stranger

These images put the term “paranormal noir jazz” in my head, and if that is indeed the genre of the music, I would absolutely listen to it. 10/10

The Vast

Space music? Sci-fi tunes? Yeah, that’s relevant to my interests, but these album covers look a bit bland for those themes. Probably art options for the same album. 8/10

Again, probably art options for the same album. Doesn’t really tell me anything about the genre, but I do like spiders, so I might check it out? 6/10

Bonus: Jon

That looks like something I’d check out, but I’m not wild about it. 8/10

[miyata0529]

恋白桃花���んのメンバーシップ用バッジ、スタンプを描かせて頂きました。

[jamessixx]

ASMR crispy & crunchy per dormire. Quindi, Immergetevi in un'esperienza sensoriale unica con il nostro affascinante mondo di ASMR crispy & crunchy. Nella tranquillità del vostro spazio, lasciatevi avvolgere da suoni croccanti e scricchiolii irresistibili. Attraverso un viaggio sonoro avvincente, scoprite il piacere tattile di cibi che si sbriciolano sotto le vostre dita, creando un'armonia perfetta tra suono e sensazioni.

Però, dal momento in cui il vostro sguardo si posa su immagini nitide e avvolgenti dei nostri prodotti ASMR, sarete trasportati in un universo dove il croccante diventa un'arte. La nostra gamma di snack vi offre un'esperienza audiovisiva senza paragoni, dove ogni boccone è un concerto di suoni che soddisfa non solo il palato, ma anche l'anima.

Ogni confezione racchiude segreti croccanti, pronti a essere svelati con il dolce suono della loro apertura. Attraverso l'impiego di ingredienti selezionati con cura e la nostra attenzione alla perfezione, vi garantiamo un'esperienza gustativa senza precedenti. I suoni avvolgenti vi condurranno in un viaggio di relax, liberando la mente dalle tensioni quotidiane.

Inserendovi nel mondo dell'ASMR crispy & crunchy, vi offriamo un rifugio di piacere sensoriale. Esplorate il fascino irresistibile di suoni che catturano l'immaginazione e trasformano il momento del pasto in un'esperienza magica. Concedetevi il lusso di un'immersione totale nel croccante e nel succulento, dove il nostro ASMR diventa la colonna sonora indimenticabile dei vostri momenti di piacere culinario.

Esplorate il magico universo dell'ASMR, un'esperienza avvolgente che solletica i vostri sensi con suoni irresistibili e visivamente accattivanti. Iniziamo il viaggio nell'ASMR, un fenomeno intrigante che ha catturato l'attenzione di milioni di appassionati. Per comprendere appieno l'incanto dell'ASMR, immergetevi nei dettagli dei suoni delicati e delle immagini suggestive.

Alla base di questa esperienza unica vi è la capacità dell'ASMR di generare sensazioni rilassanti e piacevoli attraverso stimoli auditivi e visivi. Ogni video ASMR diventa una finestra aperta su un mondo di creatività sonora, in cui i suoni dolci si fondono armoniosamente con l'immaginario visivo. Grazie a questa sinergia, l'ASMR si trasforma in un'arte che coinvolge non solo l'udito ma anche l'emozione.

I creatori di contenuti ASMR sono maestri nell'arte di catturare l'attenzione attraverso suoni accattivanti e scenari visivi coinvolgenti. Attraverso un'ampia gamma di trigger sensoriali, dall'ascolto di sussurri delicati alla visione di gesti rilassanti, l'ASMR si adatta alle preferenze di ognuno. Inoltre, l'ASMR si presta perfettamente a un'esperienza personalizzata, offrendo una vasta gamma di video tematici che soddisfano ogni gusto e desiderio.

Concludendo, immergetevi nell'universo affascinante dell'ASMR, dove suoni e immagini si fondono in un connubio magico. Sperimentate il rilassamento profondo e la stimolazione sensoriale attraverso i nostri contenuti ASMR che vi condurranno in un viaggio unico e appagante. Scoprite il potere di questa tendenza globale e lasciate che l'ASMR diventi la chiave per aprire le porte di una tranquillità sensoriale senza precedenti.

[crimson-violets]

Madam Red ❤️ x Depressed! Angry!Reader (for me right now)

- Madam Red understands being hot headed and over come with emotion all to well, so if you ask for space she’ll give you space.

- If you don’t want to be alone however, she’ll give you all the cuddles and kisses to your hearts content. 😘

- She’ll make you herbal tea or get you some water.

-Red will give you her advice if you’re bothered by a trigger and will help you avoid it or if unavoidable tackle it head on.

- helps you take deep breaths.

- She’ll wrap you up in a weighted blanket and put on some tv and watch with you and cuddle.

- Red gives the best back rubs ❤️

- An will try to make you laugh with dirty tantalizing gossip and jokes

- when you fall asleep due to being burnt out from depression or anger, she’ll put a weighted blanket on you, kiss your cheek and leave the room so you can rest.💋❤️

[yandere-daydreams]

If you're content starved one of my personal favorite yandere va's are two staples on youtube, "Dark and Twisted Whisper" and "Easton and Emmary Audios". "Cardlin Audios" has some good ones as well but some less known ones would be "Dall Asmr", "Parker Mae Audio", "defrosted" (he doesn't have too many yan audios but they are *chef kiss* very nice.), "CaptainNemoVA", "Lucky ASMR" (gotta search deep for his.) and this new guy "ultratwink" (like out of the womb new.) -Star Anon

I don’t know what y’all thought I mean when I said I’d tried every source of content out there. I have listened to your clowns, and I have decided that when I can figure out what they’re saying, I’m better off not knowing. These court jesters do not impress me. Their inflections are off and their scripts do not soothe nor do they terrify. Cardlin Audios has good endings, but I was barely awake enough to hear them, by the time I finished listening. You bring me fools when I demanded kings, and that is not a betrayal I will take lightly. No one even threatened to whip me! If anything, my pride is hurt. I am lost in a see of mouth-noises and incoherent whispering and I am prepared to read the same thirty-page Yandere Chirstmas Special fic on Quotev until I find my way. 

[asterargureo]

Sanremo quarta serata: i duetti

Amadeus ci informa che ha pensato di fare cantare canzoni degli anni 60 70 80,ma gli artisti hanno chiesto di inserire anche gli anni 90 e lui ha detto sì. Ah,da quest'anno le cover sono anche in inglese.

Noemi: canta in inglese You make me feel(likes a natural woman),suona il pianoforte, brava, però forse per l'acustica non eccelsa, alcune parole non si capivano

Giovanni Truppi,Vinicio Capossela e il maestro con Nella mia ora di libertà : allora Giovanni ha l'obiettivo di far svenire Enzo e Carla e quindi continua imperterrito a mettere canotte, però questa volta la canotta era rossa. Esibizione degna della festa dell'unità, però avrei chiamato anche gli Extraliscio e offerto lambrusco e tortellini a tutti. Di sicuro qualcuno parlerà di festival dei comunisti

Yuman e Rita Marcotulli con My way: è il momento ballo degli sposi a Parco la Serra,nota sala ricevimenti molto in voga in provincia di Bari negli anni 90.

Le vibrazioni con Sophie and the Giants e Beppe Vessicchio con Live and let die: finalmente è tornato Beppe,signore e padrone del festival. Devo dire che loro sono bravi a suonare

Sangiovanni e Fiorella Mannoia con A muso duro: la Mannoia ha scambiato i duetti per un'ospitata,con lei che attacca serenamente a parlare e Amadeus che fremeva per continuare la gara.

Emma e Francesca Michielin con Baby One more Time: shish!

Gianni Morandi e Jovanotti con un Medley metà per uno non si fa male nessuno: Gianni e quell'altro arrivano vestiti da camerieri e l'uomo dalle manone giganti fa letteralmente cadere il teatro

Elisa ed Elena d'Amario con What a feeling: beh beh beh. Un attimo,mi devo riprendere. Lei bravissima. Elena d'Amario ci ha deliziatə con una coreografia dai sapori peparinani. Per i profani questa coreografia ha come caratteristica: mani al cielo,salti, espressione angosciata,pugni chiusi,mani alla gola o al petto e di solito anche del mobilio da spostare

Achille Lauro e Loredana Bertè con Sei bellissima: se lui non si spoglia,deve trovare il modo di far parlare di sé e lo fa leggendo un biglietto da lui scritto alla Bertè. Lasciamo perdere

Matteo Romano e Malika Ayane con Your Song: molto bravo,un cucciolino

Irama e Gianluca Grignani con La mia storia tra le dita: il duetto più atteso nella speranza di un Bugo gate 2. Irama arriva solo sul palco,con i capelli che hanno visto giorni migliori e inizia a cantare,dopo qualche minuto entra un Grignani un po' imbolsito e barcollante. Il duetto è un incidente stradale, terribile con Grignani che inizia a vagare per l'Ariston e Irama che per terminare l'agonia la butta in caciara. Un momento meraviglioso. Alla fine dell'esibizione Amadeus dà i fiori(oggi ha deciso che anche gli uomini hanno diritto) e Grignani dice: "hai paura a darmi i fiori. Te lo leggo negli occhi". Amadeus si augura che Gianluca possa tornare come cantante in gara dall'anno prossimo e lui " Fratelli amatevi, vogliatevi bene"

Dito nella piaga e Rettore con Nessuno mi può giudicare: brave, però mi aspettavo qualcosa di più

Iva Zanicchi con Canzone: mah

Ana Mena e Rocce Hunt con un Medley: lei è proprio Stella delle Winx come qualcuno su questo hellsite aveva fatto notare,ritrova il compagno di tormentoni estivi e l'Ariston diventa un villaggio turistico. Mancava il gioco aperitivo e l'aqua gym

La rappresentante di lista,Cosmo, Margherita Vicario e Ginevra con Be my baby: che dire? Bravi tutti,poi c'è stato un momento "è questo che di prova ad essere sotto acidi?". Meraviglioso

Massimo Ranieri e Nek con Anna Verrà: Massimo tu sei sempre bravo. Una domanda perché Nek?

Michele Bravi con Io vorrei non vorrei ma se vuoi: anche lui caduto nel bidone dell'olio,ha scambiato Sanremo per la parte ASMR di YouTube,non ho capito mezza parola

Mahmood e Blanco con il cielo in una stanza: questi sono bravi,non ci sono cazzi, scusate il francesismo

Rkomi con Calibro 35 con un Medley di Vasco: lui si presenta a torso nudo e Amadeus gli fa i complimenti per il fisicaccio. Canta delle canzoni di Vasco, sicuro? Alla fine dell'esibizione Amadeus lo invita a fare delle flessioni Albano/Massimo Ranieri style e dice "pompiamo forte" . Sipario

Aka7even e Arisa con Cambiare: (devo ascoltare)

Highsnob e Hu e Mr Rain con Mi sono innamorato di te: ( devo ascoltare)

D'Argen D'Amico con la bambola: andrei a fare serata con lui,la bambola versione tunz tunz

Giusy Ferreri con Andy dei Bluvertigo: devo ascoltare

Fabrizio Moro con Uomini soli: Dio delle città

Tananai con Rose Chemical con A raccontate comincia tu:io nel limone vi credevo e infatti il regista ha staccato l'inquadratura quando le cose si sono fatte più calde

[dil3tta]

Vorrei vivere con te. Vorrei avere una persona con la quale dormire tutte le sere, una persona da strizzare tra le mie braccia prima di addormentarmi e che posso baciare quando mi sveglio a caso nel bel mezzo della notte. Vorrei condividere con te un bagnetto piccolo e carino dove magari ogni volta per passarci dobbiamo farci stretti stretti e io coglierei l'opportunità per farti il solletico. Vorrei condividere con te quei momenti sacri della mia giornata come quando, prima di mettermi a letto, guardo video asmr per farmi chiudere gli occhi. Vorrei che tu mi cucinassi ogni giorno e mi facessi venire voglia di mangiare, ma allo stesso tempo vorrei che non facessi storie quando salto un pasto o mangio poco. Vorrei che mi esorcizzassi i complessi che mi faccio riguardo al cibo e il peso, vorrei che ogni mattina mentre sono seduta tutta accartocciata sul water tu mi dicessi che sono bellissima, e magari io non riuscirei nemmeno a risponderti e continuerei a fare pipì mezza addormentata, ma so che mi cambieresti ogni giornata in meglio. E quando ciò non è abbastanza, quando vengo buttata giù dagli inconvenienti, vorrei che a fine giornata tu mi abbracciassi e mi chiedessi cosa c'è che non va, e allora io probabilmente inizierei a piangere e non direi niente perché non sono brava a parlare, e annegherei tra le tue braccia fino a che ogni mio magone sarà sciolto dalle lacrime. Vorrei che tu mi chiedessi di raccontarti le mie giornate, di ridere fino a tardi nel buio dentro al letto, vorrei che mi facessi trovare dei fiori sul tavolo e dei bigliettini quando esci prima di me la mattina, vorrei ascoltare con te la musica sotto la doccia e vorrei fare l'amore ovunque, nel letto, sul divano, sul tavolo, per terra, ovunque, e girare per casa nudi perché sticazzi del resto del mondo. Vorrei vivere con te perché so che potremmo fare tutte queste cose e forse anche altre che ora non mi sovvengono, vorrei averti in giro ventiquattr'ore su ventiquattro, va bene anche in una casa piccola, minuscola, perché con te ci dividerei un monolocale ma anche un mezzo locale, che tanto so che il nostro amore dilaterebbe le pareti di ogni stanza.

[maddalenafragnito]

More-than-human whisperings (Pandemic ASMR)

Un dialogo sottopelle per riconnetterci con il resto degli esseri viventi e non che attraversano questo pianeta. Vogliamo parlare con te, è arrivato il tempo di ascoltare.

🎧 ASCOLTA ADESSO

✨ 𝗥𝗔𝗗𝗜𝗢 𝗜𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗔

Dal progetto Oceano Indiano nasce Radio India, il palinsesto radiofonico giornaliero concepito in ubiquità dalle compagnie residenti al Teatro India / Teatro di Roma.

*𝗘𝗫𝗧𝗥𝗔* / 𝗠𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗮 𝗙𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗼 e 𝗛𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗻𝗮 𝗟𝗶𝗻𝗱 Lárusdóttir presentano: 𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗲-𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻-𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 (𝗣𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗰 𝗔𝗦𝗠𝗥)

𝐿𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑢𝑒: 𝐼𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑛𝑜, 𝐼𝑛𝑔𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑒, 𝐼𝑠𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑒 *𝐴𝑠𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑡𝑜 𝑖𝑛 𝑐𝑢𝑓𝑓𝑖𝑎 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑡𝑜 / 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑝ℎ𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑 / 𝐻𝑙𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑡 𝑚𝑒ð heyrnartólum*

📻 𝗹𝘂𝗻𝗲𝗱ì 𝟰 𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗶𝗼 𝗱𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲 𝟭𝟴.𝟮𝟬 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲 𝟭𝟵.𝟬𝟬

L’ASMR ( Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response ), che in italiano viene tradotto con “risposta autonoma del meridiano sensoriale”, sono una varietà di suoni capaci di incidere sul nostro “meridiano sensoriale”.

Un dialogo sottopelle per riconnetterci con il resto degli esseri viventi e non che attraversano questo pianeta. Vogliamo parlare con te, è arrivato il tempo di ascoltare.

📻✨ 𝗥𝗔𝗗𝗜𝗢 𝗜𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗔 | teatrodiroma.net

#TdRonline #iorestoacasa #laculturaincasa

[lunalavicinadicasa]

#ASMR: i rumori piacevoli per rilassarti!

Non sarà sorprendente sentirsi dire che in tanti sono sopraffatti dallo #stress e dall’#ansia. Si, il mondo a volte può essere davvero difficile! Uno schermo ad alta risoluzione con una bellissima visione di una barriera corallina o con una donna che sussurra #frasidolci, potrebbero però farti sentire almeno un po’ più rilassata!

#videoasmr #videorelax

Clicca sulla foto per leggere il resto:

[jamessixx]

ASMR to make you so sleepy: L'incantevole mondo dell'ASMR progettato appositamente per farvi addormentare dolcemente. Immergetevi in un mondo di sussurri delicati, suoni rilassanti e trigger visivi che cattureranno la vostra attenzione. Il nostro ASMR è curato con amore per garantire una calma profonda e tranquillità che vi farà sprofondare nel sonno in pochi minuti. Dunque, che siate stressati, affaticati o semplicemente in cerca di una notte di sonno riposante, il nostro ASMR è la risposta.

Non lasciate che l'insonnia vi rovini la notte. Sintonizzatevi con i nostri video ASMR e preparatevi a sprofondare nel sonno più profondo che abbiate mai sperimentato. Il vostro riposo è importante per noi, ed è per questo che siamo qui per offrirvi l'ASMR definitivo per rendervi così sonnolenti. Pronti a sognare? https://www.thinkwithgoogle.com/intl/it-it/tendenze-e-insight/tendenze-di-consumo/video-asmr-il-piu-imponente-e-piu-sconosciuto-trend-di-youtube/

Sogni di notti serene e riposanti? Vuoi scoprire il segreto dell'ASMR per addormentarti in un istante? Allora sei nel posto giusto! Con la nostra collezione esclusiva di video ASMR, ti porteremo in un mondo di suoni delicati e rilassanti che ti faranno sentire così sonnolento, così rapidamente.

Lasciati cullare dalle dolci melodie dei sussurri, dalle carezze virtuali e dai suoni ipnotici che ti condurranno in un sonno profondo come mai prima d'ora. Pertanto, i nostri video ASMR sono progettati con cura per soddisfare le tue esigenze di relax e tranquillità.

Metti da parte le preoccupazioni della giornata e immergiti in un'esperienza unica di rilassamento. Che tu stia cercando un sollievo dallo stress o semplicemente desideri una notte di sonno migliore, il nostro ASMR è qui per te.

Non perdere l'opportunità di sperimentare l'ASMR che ti farà sentire così sonnolento, così felice. Scopri i nostri video e fai una passeggiata nel mondo del sonno profondo con noi. Sarà un viaggio che non dimenticherai mai. Vieni a provare l'ASMR che cambierà il tuo modo di dormire per sempre!

[pangeanews]

Concita è un po’ psicologa e un po’ Greta Thunberg. Sull’ultimo romanzo della De Gregorio, una raccolta di perle di saggezza buonista

“La storia che qui si narra ha origine nella realtà”. Concita De Gregorio decide di cominciare così il suo romanzo, In tempo di guerra (Einaudi, 2019) ed è come se volesse dirmi: «Quella che ti racconto è una storia vera, e se i fatti rappresentati ti apparissero troppo inverosimili, sei tu che sbagli, è il tuo occhio di lettore che è malato».

Quest’aria di supponenza farebbe uscire dai gangheri anche un bradipo, figuriamoci me, che ho pagato sedici euro e cinquanta per il libro di Concita, e per la stessa cifra avrei potuto comprare due confezioni di Nutella Biscuits. Vi giuro sulla testa di mio nonno pasticciere: la prossima volta porto i miei novanta chili in un supermercato, altro che librerie!

In quarta di copertina Concita scrive, apponendoci la firma, che la storia di Marco, il trentenne protagonista del romanzo, «tiene insieme la storia di una generazione smarrita e quella del Novecento: il secolo di cui tutti siamo figli». Un po’ come dire che a questo mondo esiste una sola grande storia che passa da Che Guevara e arriva fino a Madre Teresa, da Malcom X attraverso Gandhi e San Patrignano, e nel caso di Marco, passando da un bisnonno partigiano a un nonno comunista, arriva a due genitori ex terroristi diventati Testimoni di Geova. Insomma, Concita vorrebbe farmi credere che questa è la storia di uno di noi, anche lui nato per caso in Italia tra gente tranquilla che sparava, manifestava, organizzava riunioni sindacali, e ora che il sol dell’avvenire è tramontato, rompe i coglioni al popolo suonando ai campanelli alle sette del mattino con in mano una rivista che si chiama “Svegliatevi!”.

Idea affascinante, persino divertente, indebolita da un problema non da poco: io e Marco (e tutti gli altri me e gli altri Marco, con relative famiglie) abbiamo vissuto su mondi diversi e lontanissimi, o se vi piacciono le metafore che fanno vincere i premi letterari, siamo come quei numeri speciali, che i matematici chiamano primi gemelli: due numeri primi vicini ma mai abbastanza per toccarsi davvero. Io non ho avuto genitori brigatisti (sono nato ad Agrigento, la città con la più bassa concentrazione di brigatisti, durante gli anni di piombo). I miei nonni erano contadini e pensavano che quando c’era lui, il mascellone, in Italia si dormiva con le porte aperte. I miei compagni di liceo sono cresciuti a pane e film di Gloria Guida, e ancora oggi che siamo vecchiarelli, le sue docce ci fanno elettrizzare più delle profezie sulla fine del mondo.

L’impressione è che Concita abbia fatto un errore tipico di certe congreghe di scrittori che si frequentano da anni (stessa spiaggia, stesso mare, stessi ambienti di lavoro) e quasi senza accorgersene, si sono così profondamente compenetrati da considerare la propria esperienza come l’esperienza di tutti.

Immaginate due amanti stretti in un amplesso. Quanto conta il mondo attorno?  Immaginate ora che quell’amplesso duri qualche decennio o forse più. C’è ancora mondo attorno a loro? No. Ci sono corpi, carezze, baci, gemiti, sospiri. Ma il mondo esterno è tutto interno, non c’è più. Immaginate infine che gli amanti siano migliaia, un’orgia gigantesca di figli di genitori ex terroristi e nipoti di nonni partigiani e comunisti. Concita De Gregorio è lì con loro, scrive, e ciò non toglie che il suo romanzo possa essere un buon romanzo, ma vi avverto: a voi, o almeno a molti di voi, potenziali lettori, parrà che la storia di Marco non abbia origine nella realtà ma in un paesaggio che faticherete a scorgere, anche se i vostri occhi ci vedono benissimo.

La scrittura di Concita è compatta e uniforme, una scrittura «media», una scrittura «così così» che ci informa su cose che in quest’era digitale bisogna assolutamente sapere. Per esempio: quanti bambini sono stati chiamati Marco nell’anno in cui Marco è nato? Concita ve lo dice: 10861. E qui capiamo di trovarci di fronte a una scrittrice vera, una scrittrice che si documenta, anche se non ci dice dove si trovano certe informazioni. Negli archivi comunali? Nelle liste di censimento? Nei database del KGB?

Un’altra cosa favolosa che ho imparato leggendo In tempo di guerra è l’esistenza di un sito intitolato Cose notevoli che hanno fatto altri alla tua età, dove è possibile deprimersi scoprendo che Bill Gates ha fondato la Microsoft a vent’anni, Steve Jobs la Apple a ventuno, Walt Disney la Disney a ventidue. Ho letto poi che i testimoni di Geova fanno processi per ‘fornicazione’; I Need You di Nick Cave dura 5 minuti e 58 secondi; l’intro del concerto di Piazzolla a Central Park 6 minuti e 12 secondi.

La trama è un collage di avvenimenti raccontati indirettamente. Ci sono i pensieri di Marco, le pagine del diario che teneva da bambino (dove apprendiamo che gli alieni sono vegetariani, non bevono e non fumano), le lettere al nonno, le e-mail alla sorella e agli amici. Tutto questo intervallato dalle risposte di Concita, che lei chiama «le risposte che non ho» e sono un piacevole registro di ricordi personali, riflessioni politiche, musiche amate, personaggi che stima (uno su tutti l’ambientalista Alex Langer, morto suicida nel 1995).

Ovviamente, non mancano perle di saggezza buonista: «Che poi anche tutto questo parlare, non sarà sopravvalutato? Tutti parlano, dicono cosa si deve fare, e come, e quando. Tutti che ti spiegano in modo definitivo come stanno le cose. E ora bisogna combattere questo, e adesso condannare quello. E poi bisogna denunciare quest’altro, e mobilitarsi e vergogna, e partecipa, e firma, e alza la voce anche tu. Ma io non sono mica tanto sicuro, sai, di questi giudizi netti e inesorabili. Io a volte non lo so, come stanno le cose. Preferisco aspettare, capire meglio, studiare».

Frasi della serie ‘Siamo tutti un po’ psicologi’: «Quello che ti serve per diventare la persona che sei è sempre già dentro di te, da qualche parte nascosto».

Echi di Greta Thunberg: «Avete consumato tutte le speranze, come se fosse un banchetto solo vostro. Ve le siete mangiate, e poi siete tornati a casa a scrivere i vostri libri, a presiedere le vostre fondazioni, a coltivare viti pregiate e fare vini».

Parole che sembrano fatte apposta per essere pubblicate in un post su Facebook e raccogliere valanghe di like. E qui si svela un limite di Concita: la sofferenza, anche la più estrema, è sempre in qualche modo edulcorata, anestetizzata, detta piano, quasi con pudore. Avete presente quei video di gente che bisbiglia su YouTube? Cercateli, sono migliaia. Il fenomeno si chiama ASMR (acronimo di Autonomus Sensory Meridian Response) e consiste nel leggere un testo sussurrando al microfono e accompagnandosi con piccoli oggetti in grado di produrre suoni e sensazioni stimolanti: bottiglie da picchiettare con le unghie, involucri alimentari da accartocciare, liquidi da versare adagio, spazzole da passare lentamente sui capelli e – perché no? – pagine di romanzi da strappare.

Io credo che la scrittura di Concita De Gregorio, – che è l’esatto contrario di quella che Charles Bukowski sintetizzò così: «Tirare fuori la morte dal taschino, scagliarla contro il muro e riprenderla al volo» – sia la migliore in assoluto da utilizzare in un video ASMR.

Calmante, molto dolce e in fondo innocua.

Francesco Consiglio

*

Ispirazioni:

Concita De Gregorio, In tempo di guerra, Einaudi 2019.

Adriano Celentano, Il ragazzo della via Gluck, 45 giri, 1966.

Roberto Vecchioni, Signor Giudice, dall’album: Robinson, come salvarsi la vita, 1979

Gloria Guida, Filmografia completa, 1974-1982

Jovanotti, Io penso positivo, dall’album: Lorenzo, 1994

Chiara ASMR, Il potere di un sussurro. La prima guida italiana all’ASMR, Mondadori Electa 2019

Charles Bukowski, Il capitano è fuori a pranzo, Feltrinelli 2000

  L'articolo Concita è un po’ psicologa e un po’ Greta Thunberg. Sull’ultimo romanzo della De Gregorio, una raccolta di perle di saggezza buonista proviene da Pangea.

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