#damen gives laurent lots of sweets

[lucky-clover-gazette]

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 7

edit: there is much better analysis in this follow-up post, although it does build on the stuff i wrote here

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

There were very few problems, the public killings having been good for the soldiers’ morale.

so where are the people like me in this world who would like pass out witnessing that. just too desensitized to care?

The Veretian herald was named Hendric and he had very strong arms, because banners were heavy.

Damen and Laurent were to ride alongside one another. Neither one of them had the better horse.

THEIR HORSES!! BACK TOGETHER DESPITE ALL ODDS!! because they’re definitely the same ones that fell in love during prince's gambit shut up

Damen was taller, but nothing could be done about that, Hendric had said with an impenetrable expression. Hendric, Damen was learning, had something in common with Laurent, in that it was never a simple matter to tell when he was joking.

give laurent a comedically large hammer and he’ll find a way

‘I hope the injured boy was returned to you safely.’ ‘Thank you, he returned with Paschal,’ said Laurent. For a salve? Damen opened his mouth to say, and didn’t.

throwback <3 but kings can’t have inside jokes :(

In the next moment, the horns rang out, triumphant and lonely at the same time, the pure sound absorbed by the sky and the wide open landscape around them.

“triumphant and lonely” nice detail

He remembered exactly how it had looked, and that was why he didn’t recognise it at first: the forest of broken spears was gone, and there were no gouged ruts in the earth, no men face down in the churned mud. Marlas was now a tumble of grass and wildflowers in the blowy, sweet summer weather, shifting back and forth in the gentle air. Here and there an insect droned, a drowsy sound. A dragonfly dipped and darted.

i like this :) we don’t get a lot of love for nature in this series, so i’ll take what i get. especially nice when nature represents healing and the passage of time.

Lining the hall were two dozen slaves.

oh this is going to be a headache. but it’s a headache worth having, because i’ve approached these annotations so far with integrity and fairness, and i refuse to treat this subject any differently. i don’t want to just ignore the things that are more difficult or less fun to unpack in order to get to the fun shipping stuff, i want to analyze them to the best of my ability and feel as comfortable as i possibly can moving forward.

so let’s set up some context:

1) damen has come a long way from his stance on slavery in book 1. he is actively refusing to partake in this expected custom, and finds the institution disturbing and triggering. he has developed a new appreciation for sex with truly consenting (not trained) partners, aka laurent, and can’t really go back. still, his reasons for refraining here are almost entirely based on his evolving sense of morality, not really relating to his relationship with laurent at all. for more on that moral evolution, see my analysis in chapter 4. further proof of this Really Mattering to damen is the fact that by not taking slaves, he is losing points with his own people. another great hint of his development as a king, making his own authoritative decisions rather than upholding tradition.

2) laurent does not like slavery. he does not think it is morally correct, and has made many jabs at damen throughout the series for disagreeing. he is disturbed by idea of people who have been groomed into relinquishing their own free will. if put in the situation of damen in book 1, laurent would not have been nearly as compliant or allowing—honestly, he probably would have tried to kill his master, and failing that, kill himself.

HOWEVER. vere does not do slavery. slavery had never been a relevant issue to laurent, at least until he was gifted a slave of his own and was made to deal with them in negotiations with patras. slavery is a thing other countries do, to laurent, and his current objective is make nice with a country that keeps slaves. therefore, he knows that his only real option is to keep the appearance of partaking in the custom, even if damen can get away with refusal. and i think we can safely assume that in laurent’s vere, there will be no slavery, even if he’s taking up the appearance of a slave owner now. additionally, i think we can also assume that there will be reform of the country’s pet system, which is an issue much more relevant to laurent’s lived experience.

if the stuff with laurent and slaves here was simply performative and un-indulgent, i wouldn’t need to be writing anything more here. but it is, as it is, one of the few things in the series that makes me feel very conflicted (see also: the garden scene in book 1). because while it’s true that laurent doesn’t actually use isander as a sex slave, and does have this kind of passive disdain for slavery, he does use isander in another way. he uses isander, a non-consenting brainwashed slave, as a way to make damen, who has never actually been a slave, jealous. this is an abuse of power that directly conflicts with laurent’s stated and assumed values regarding free will and individual personhood. we’ve seen things like this before, in arles, but laurent had known that damen was a prince and not a slave the entire time. but isander is a victim of this system—even if isander himself doesn’t know that, laurent damn well does. and laurent historically is someone who advocates for victims. so the fact that his morals here are being set aside in favor of a petty gesture against damen, is… disappointing. everything i said in chapter 3/4 about laurent’s mean girl era still stands: he knows he’s being shitty, and he’s doing it because he doesn’t want to be vulnerable and insecure. better to be a villain than a victim, etc. but laurent being a villain to damen, who laurent knows is perfectly capable of defending himself, is distinctly different from laurent parading out isander the slave just to hurt damen’s feelings.

it’s wrong for the obvious moral reasons, which laurent perfectly understands in the abstract. but it’s not a hill he’s going to die on here, and that’s not just because of the political advantage. this is 100% about personal shit with damen too. and sorry laurent, but slavery does not stop being wrong when it’s useful in creating drama with your ex. in fact, indulging in it for that reason specifically trivializes all of the legitimate problems with the practice. it makes laurent a hypocrite and it crosses a line, in terms of his mean girl schtick. i just want to make that clear—that there is very much a difference between laurent just being kinda cunty to damen in general, and specifically using a slave as tool in that cuntiness.

laurent is, and always has been, a morally complex and often hypocritical character. he has done things that have made me feel uncomfortable to read, like the way he treats damen in the garden scene. and that’s okay, and it doesn’t make him a bad character, or even a bad person. and to be fair, he isn’t doing any practical harm here—if he hadn’t chosen isander to kinda just vaguely flirt with in public and then leave alone in private, someone else probably would have done far worse. and that is an easy cop-out, and it’s not wrong. but still.

the problem isn’t with laurent's actions here, necessarily, but the principle. which is usually what laurent himself cares about the most, as he often values the ends above the means. politics aside, i think that laurent would readily admit post-mean girl era that the ends of making damen jealous did not, and should not, justify the means of using another human being who does not possess free will. maybe he even does that in the text, eventually, and i’ve forgotten.

(also, let’s not forget that isander may have been trained to not have his own feelings, but definitely still has them, because he’s a human being. and it probably makes him feel pretty bad to be chosen and then ignored by laurent. not that it should, because the entire thing is super fucked up, but it’s what he’s been groomed to believe. like, i did just want to throw that in somewhere, even though it’s obviously predicated on brainwashing and a lack of free will. it’s still what he’s feeling, and his feelings matter. just as much as damen’s or laurent’s.)

basically: laurent is failing to be honorable in his usage of isander, even if he’s not using isander as a sex slave as intended. his abstract values about the wrongness of slavery take a back seat to the political and interpersonal advantage of not only passively partaking in the custom, but actively using it to make damen jealous. even if laurent needs to pretend to take a slave to be politically accepted, he does not need to do All That. and honestly, with laurent’s ability to convince and command a crowd, i think we all know deep down that if he didn’t at least want to do this at least a little bit, just to piss damen off, he would find a way out of it. and that is a reality of laurent’s characterization here that i have to deal with, similar to his actions in the garden scene.

and then there’s the other thing that laurent's "performance" with isander has in common with the garden scene:

it’s hot. it’s wrong, and hypocritical, and could have been done in a way that would better suit my personal tastes, but yes, it’s hot. and on top of that, it’s also VERY funny. laurent’s performance, damen’s reactions, and isander’s obliviousness are all very, very funny. and i do want to be able to enjoy them for the petty gestures they are, and joke about them, without constantly having to throw in a “but also this is bad.” so doing this initial disclaimer feels like a happy medium to me, where i’m not ignoring the complexity of the situation entirely, but i’m also conceding that it’s not necessarily meant to be taken seriously, and it’s ultimately written for the reader to enjoy. like, don’t get me wrong, most of the slavery stuff in this series has NOT been written for the reader’s enjoyment—the values here are very clear, especially in damen’s arc—but there are still some indulgent moments. and it is fiction. and these characters aren’t perfect, nor did they create the culture of the kingdoms that they’re about to rule. and they do ultimately change the things that they, and we the reader, know are wrong.

but just like with the garden scene, i can’t quite get myself to write “so it’s totally fine to just have fun with the whole slavery thing” as a conclusion. and honestly, i feel pretty okay about that hesitancy. when i make jokes about this subject in this specific context (laurent and isander), i don’t want it to be forgotten that the subject itself (slavery) is still entirely serious. so instead, i’ll say:

this is fun because manipulative petty lamen mind games are fun. this is hot because manipulative petty lamen mind games are hot. this is somewhat intended as a backhanded insult and display of moral superiority—laurent showing damen how awful he and his culture appear to non-slave owners—but that moral superiority ultimately falls short due to laurent’s hypocritical use of a slave to make damen jealous. all of those separate pieces of analysis are true to the overall experience of reading and interpreting these scenes. it’s a mixed bag, we know it’s a mixed bag, laurent knows it’s a mixed bag, and damen knows it’s a mixed bag. the only relevant person who doesn’t know it’s a mixed bag is isander, because he’s a slave and isn’t allowed to think for himself, and that fucking sucks.

Isander was olive-skinned and lithe as a fawn, with dark hair and eyes: Akielon colouring. He shared that with Nikandros; with Damen.

yeah i’m sure that’s just a coincidence

Male, either in deference to Veretian customs, or to suit Laurent’s assumed preferences.

akielon slave owners, trying to assess laurent’s preferences:

(can you tell my heart still isn’t fully in the humor here…)

Nikandros would never offer royalty anything less than a slave’s First Night.

god, the first night thing is fucked up. in general, i love the lack of like… uh… traditionally conservative (read: christian) attitudes about sex in capri, so the few similarities especially give me the ick. i haven’t read or annotated the erasmus short story yet, but i know it’s going to piss me off too. basically, the closer we get to the handmaid’s tale, the more i want to read complicit characters dying horrifically on the page. nikandros and the other akielons are skirting by for now with the plausible deniability they have re: fully understanding how slaves are trained, but they’re on thin fucking ice.

also, lighter side question, what’s the recommended reading order for the short stories?

sweet grace of a palace slave

gag

‘I like that one,’ said Laurent.

>:(

‘Slaves are trained in the arts of pleasure, but they do not lie with another until their First Night,’ Kolnas said. ‘Here we use the same strict, classical training that is used in the royal palace. Skills are learned through instruction, and practised with indirect methods. The slave remains wholly untouched, kept pure for the first use of the Exalted.’

imagine if real-life cultural customs were built around grooming a certain group of people to be sexually submissive and modest as a thinly-veiled way to control their sexuality and ensure that they are attached to dominant societal figures from a young age without the education or free will to consider themselves actual human beings, so they can unquestioningly spend their entire lives as sex machines and domestic servants defined entirely by their responsibility to the family, and then they die and their headstone identifies them by their status as a possession of their dominant partner. wouldn’t that be fucked up

‘I never did learn how to command a bed slave,’ said Laurent. ‘Teach me.’

guys i wish i could find this hot or funny but now i’m just mad about disturbing stuff in real life that i can’t analyze out of existence. i’m taking a break and eating a chocolate strawberry greek yogurt popsicle and then i’ll try to refocus on the funny toxic gay people

‘They cannot speak Veretian, Your Highness,’ Kolnas explained. ‘In the Akielon language, using the plain form of address is appropriate. To command any act of service is to honour a slave. The more personal the service, the greater the honour.’ ‘Really? Come here,’ said Laurent.

laurent go sit in the corner.

Laurent extended the tip of his boot. ‘Kiss it,’ he said. His eyes were on Damen.

god this is so good. i hate it so much.

to be fair, there is no way to do this that would be more effective than laurent using a slave. because, y’know, damen was his “slave.” it wouldn’t hit the same with some random non-slave guy. laurent wants to fuck with damen’s head, and part of that is making him miss something he most certainly should not be missing. laurent is also fucking with my head, because this gesture is so conflictingly wrong and compelling, a word which in this case means "something i’m embarrassed/ashamed to say that i find hot."

‘Good boy,’ said Laurent, reaching down to pet Isander’s dark curls, while Isander’s eyes closed and he flushed over.

(easy joke to make, but we’re all probably thinking it) damen:

(also, this being the only “good boy” in the entire series is just diabolical. but i get why it is, because i think it might not be the only one—and if it isn’t the only one, that means the regent says it at some point, and that’s exactly why it’s never used in a lamen sex scene.)

Kolnas preened, pleased that his selection was appreciated. Damen could see that the fort’s household around them was also pleased, having gone to great lengths to make Laurent feel welcome. They had considered with intense thoughtfulness Veretian culture and Veretian practices.

i sense some slight snarkiness here—not even from damen, but from the narrative itself. there’s palpable irony in the “great lengths” and “thoughtfulness” of akielions considering veretian culture while presenting laurent with slaves, all while veretian culture doesn’t have slavery.

It was pointless. There were two dozen slaves here, while the number of times Laurent had had sex in his life could probably be counted on one hand. Laurent was just going to be dragging twenty-four young men back to his rooms to sit around doing nothing. They wouldn’t even be able to unlace Veretian clothing.

according to damen:

this is stupid.

laurent is, in all ways but physical, a loser virgin.

he’s going to set out board games for those sex slaves. he’s going to throw them a pizza party. he’s going to answer emails the entire time.

they don’t even know how to unlace laurent’s clothing like i do.

this is stupid.

‘Can he also serve me in the baths?’ said Laurent.

CUNT.

‘And at the feast for the bannermen this evening when they give their pledge, if that pleases you, Your Highness,’ said Kolnas. ‘It pleases me,’ said Laurent.

damen is about to throw up on the floor

Cloth wound around his waist and over his shoulder, the sort of ceremonial Akielon garb that you could unreel from a person by taking hold of one end and pulling while they rotated.

looney toons-ass imagery

He could feel their discomfort, their need to debase themselves; this sort of proximity to royalty permitted only the extreme submissiveness of slaves.

thank you damen for being the only normal person here. you've come a long way.

“discomfort, their need to debase themselves” is something book 1 damen would have found adorable and charming. he definitely wouldn’t have worded it like this, back then.

“this sort of proximity to royalty permitted only the extreme submissiveness of slaves” building on the damen vs. kingship theme, he thinks he can’t have real love or intimacy or vulnerability if he’s a king. he can’t truly be paired with an equal, because he needs to be exalted.

He had sent away the slaves.

damen you’re the only one i’m not at mad at in this chapter. actually i liked the funny banner guy, we’re chill too. and isander is just trying his best

Laurent, he knew, was rooming in the adjoining suite, separated from him by a single wall. Damen was in the King’s chambers, which any lord who built a fort installed, in the hope the King would stop there. But even the former lord of Marlas’s optimism had not stretched to the idea that the heads of two royal families would visit simultaneously. To preserve their arrangements of scrupulous equality, Laurent was in the Queen’s chambers, beyond that wall.

i’m getting so much whiplash from this chapter like yeah this is funny and cute but also is the slavery stuff just normal to people like i’m aware the series started from a specific subculture and kink and body of literary work, so i guess i’m the weird one and the outsider here for being so distracted??

Isander was probably tending him, gamely doing his best with the laces. He would have to unhook the lacings on the back of the neck of Laurent’s riding leathers before drawing them through their eyelets. Or Laurent had taken Isander into the baths, to be undressed by him there. Isander would be flushed with pride at being chosen for the task. Attend me. Damen felt his hands curl into fists.

i don’t think i need to point out in a note, every single time, that damen being jealous of isander is funny and his possessiveness of laurent is hot. but i will still highlight the passages where it happens.

He turned his mind to political matters.

good call buddy, you and i are going to get through this chapter together

Men and women reclined on couches

(said apprehensively, given the overall themes of this chapter) ...women?

Makedon leaned, selecting a slice of peeled orange. Pallas, the handsome officer-champion, reclined with the easy posture that spoke to his aristocratic blood. Straton had hitched his skirts up and drawn his legs onto the couch, crossing them at the ankles. Everyone whom rank or office entitled to be here was assembled, and with every northerner of standing gathered to give their pledge, the hall was packed full. The Veretians present were mostly vertical, standing awkwardly in small groups, one or two perched gingerly on the edge of a seat.

There was no trumpet flourish or herald’s announcement, as there would have been in Vere.

okay i didn’t realize there was a trumpet flourish in vere. that is very funny in retrospect. a trumpet is not the instrument i’d choose to announce laurent’s arrival. in arles especially, i personally think that a halloween sfx cd would have been much more appropriate

Laurent didn’t rise. He wasn’t required to. He just watched from his reclining couch, as the hall prostrated itself. He had cultivated an elegant sprawl, with his arm draped over his couch back, and his leg drawn up, revealing the arc of an exquisitely clad thigh. His fingers dangled. Silk rucked around his knee.

laurent lean #14. kings leaning.

Isander was prostrated, an inch from Laurent’s casually draped fingertips, his lithe body bare. He wore a brief garment like a Vaskian man’s cloth. His collar fit him like a second skin. Laurent sat relaxed, every line of his body arranged tastefully against the couch. Damen made himself stroll forward through the silence. Their twin couches were next to each other. ‘Brother,’ Laurent said, pleasantly.

no comment

The eyes of everyone in the hall were on him. He felt their gazes, their underfed curiosity. He heard the murmurs—it really is him, Damianos, alive and here—accompanied by the brazen looks, looking at him, looking at the gold cuff on his wrist, looking at Laurent in his Veretian clothes like an exotic ornament—so that is the Veretian Prince. And beneath that the speculation that was never spoken aloud.

at least one akielon politics rpf truther is losing their mind rn. we have gaylor, this world has gaymianos

Laurent was scrupulously correct in the face of it, his behaviour immaculate, even his use of the slave was an act of unimpeachable etiquette. In Akielos it pleased the host for a guest to make use of his hospitality. And it pleased the Akielon people for their royal family to take slaves, a sign of virility and power, and a cause of great pride.

narrows my eyes

Barieus stepped forward. ‘I want assurances that Vere does not hold undue influence over Akielos.’ Undue influence. ‘Speak plainly.’ ‘They say the Prince of Vere is your lover.’

found the gaymianos truther

‘Who we take to our bed is not your concern.’

well i mean if you’re using the royal “we” to represent the kingdom, then yeah… it kinda is?

‘Shall I tell them what really happened between us? They want to know,’ Laurent said. Laurent began to unlace the cuff of his sleeve, drawing the ties through the eyelets, then opening the fabric to expose the fine underside of his wrist—and then the unmistakable gold of the slave cuff.

Laurent leaned his wrist elegantly on the curved arm of the couch, the open sleeve reminiscent of a delicate open shirt collar, its laces trailing. ‘Do I have the question clear?’ said Laurent, speaking in Akielon. ‘You are asking if I lay with the man who killed my own brother?’ Laurent wore the slave cuff with utter disregard. He had no owner, the aristocratic arrogance of his posture said that. Laurent had always possessed an essential quality of the untouchable. He cultivated a faultless grace on the reclining couch, his chiselled profile and marble-chip eyes those of a statue. The idea that he would let anyone fuck him was impossible.

and damen is so into it. love love love the contrast with the description of slaves in this chapter. damen doesn’t want them, he wants laurent. he sees laurent as a complete and compelling person. there is honor in laurent’s performative submission—wearing the cuff—because damen respects laurent’s personhood. but he’s no longer able to see the submission of slaves as honorable, because he knows they’re fucking slaves who have been robbed of their personhood entirely.

Barieus said, ‘A man would have to be ice-cold to sleep with his brother’s killer.’ ‘Then you have your answer,’ said Laurent. There was a silence, in which Laurent’s gaze held that of Barieus. ‘Yes, Exalted.’ Barieus bowed his head, and unconsciously used the Akielon Exalted, rather than the Veretian titles Highness or Majesty.

a vine boom echoed through the court

‘Well, Barieus?’ said Damen. Barieus knelt two steps before the dais. ‘I will pledge. I see that the Prince of Vere stands with you. It’s right that we swear to you here, on the site of your greatest victory.’

“he is simply too cunty for us to deny his authority.”

Slaves brought the food. Squires served Damen, since he had made his preferences clear. It was an awkward arrangement that displeased everyone in the hall.

YES DAMEN!

Isander was utterly in love with his master. He strove continuously to do well, selecting each delicacy for Laurent to sample, bringing him only the best, in small, shallow dishes, refreshing the water bowl for Laurent to clean his fingers. He did it all with perfect form, discreetly attentive, and never drawing attention to himself. His eyelashes drew attention to themselves. Damen made himself look elsewhere.

but that’s not real love, and damen knows it. laurent knows it too. and damen did it way better in nesson-elroy

Laurent said, ‘Play The Fall of Inachtos,’ and a murmur of approval passed over the hall. Kolnas, the Keeper of Slaves, congratulated Laurent on his knowledge of Akielon epics. ‘It’s one of your favourites, isn’t it?’ said Laurent, transferring his gaze to Damen.

diabolical. need this energy for the lamen divorce playlists (they each have their own)

He had always liked the depiction of Akielons cutting down their enemies, as Nisos rode out to kill Inachtos, and take his walled city. He didn’t want to hear it now.

yayyy character development

It was Loyse and not Guion that Jord was approaching. She gave him a cursory look. ‘Yes?’ There was an awkward pause. ‘I just wanted to say . . . that I’m sorry for your loss. Your son was a good fighter.’ ‘Thank you, soldier.’ She gave him the token attention a lady might give to any servant, and turned back to her conversation with her husband.

loyse hiiiiiii loyse (said with appropriate sadness for her current state of grief)

Jord gazed at him for a long moment, then indicated Laurent with his chin. ‘I’m glad you two are friends,’ said Jord.

jord always knows exactly when to show up and make ill-timed commentary on damen and laurent's relationship

‘I thought when he found out about you, he’d swear revenge,’ said Jord. ‘He knew all along,’ said Damen. ‘It’s good that you could trust each other,’ said Jord. And then: ‘I think before you came, he didn’t really trust anyone.’ Damen said, ‘He didn’t.’

also isn’t it like SUPER awkward for jord to be around guion and loyse right now

Isander was bringing Laurent a sprig of grapes in a small dish. Laurent said something approving, and gestured for Isander to join him on the reclining couch. Isander glowed, shyly besotted. As Damen watched, Isander picked a single grape from the sprig, and lifted it to Laurent’s lips. Laurent leaned in. He twined a finger around a curl of Isander’s hair and allowed himself to be fed, grape by grape, a prince with a new favourite.

damen is about to start scratching the walls like a cat confronted with a closed door

He lifted the wine blindly. The cup was empty. Straton wasn’t the only Akielon departing with a slave; men and women throughout the hall were availing themselves. The wine, and the slaves enacting the battle were breaking down inhibitions. Akielon voices grew loud, emboldened by wine.

between the heavy drinking and sex practices, the akielon court actually sounds like my living hell. and we haven’t even gotten to the naked sports chapter yet

Laurent leaned in further to murmur something intimately into Isander’s ear, and then, as the recitation reached its climax, the clash of swords like the hammering in his chest, Damen saw Laurent tap Isander’s shoulder, and rise. I’d wager you never thought a prince could be jealous of a slave. At this moment I’d trade places with you in a heartbeat. Torveld’s words. He said, ‘Excuse me.’

The entire court around him rose as he pushed up from his couch-throne.

“couch-throne”

Trying to follow Laurent out, he got tangled in ceremony, the hall a stifling press of bodies and noise, and, as a blond head disappeared towards the doorway, he was stopped by party after party blocking his path.

okay i’m so curious what he’s meaning to do when he catches up to laurent. yell at him? yell at isander? throw up?

He ought to have brought a slave of his own, then the crowd would have melted away, understanding: the King wished privacy.

i am begging the protagonists of this book to stop using human people as objects. again maybe that’s just a me problem, this isn’t my usual genre and the akielon slavery system clearly doesn’t align with my kink sensibilities, but COME ON

The corridor was empty when he strode out into it. His heart was pounding. He turned the first corner into a section of the passage, half expecting to catch Laurent’s retreating figure. Instead, he saw a stark, empty arch with all its Veretian lattice stripped away. Under the arch was Isander, standing with his fawn eyes, looking confused and abandoned. His confusion was such that for a moment he just stared at Damen with wide eyes before he seemed to understand what was happening, and folded to the floor, forehead to the stone. Damen said, ‘Where is he?’ Isander was well trained, even if nothing was happening as he had expected tonight; and even if, rather mortifyingly, he was being asked to report this fact to his King. ‘His Highness of Vere has gone for a ride.’

well at least if “going on a ride” is laurent code for “feeling morally and emotionally troubled,” that’s… less disappointing, i guess.

also, i do realize that this is the place where laurent’s brother was killed, currently taken over by the nation that orchestrated and benefitted from his death. so there’s probably a twisted vindication in learning exactly how fucked up their culture is (asking about the first night, etc), and getting whatever kind of enjoyment out of the whole situation he can (pissing off damen). but there still had to be a crash, and as soon as laurent was excused from his duties he dipped to deal with it alone.

‘At the stables a handler might know his destination. This slave can inquire.’

i caaaaaan’t stand the way they’re denied use of personal pronouns

Closer; the approach was difficult because it was sharp with memory. Here was the place where their left flank had fallen. Here was the place where he had ordered men to attack the lines that would not fall, the starburst banner that did not falter. Here was the place where he had killed the last of the Prince’s Guard, and come face to face with Auguste. He dismounted from his horse, looping its reins over the cracked stone column of an overgrown pillar. The landscape was old, and the pieces of stone were old; and he remembered this place, remembered the torn soil and the desperation of the fight. Clearing a last jut of stone, he saw the curve of a shoulder in the moonlight, the white of a loose shirt, his outer garments stripped, all wrists and exposed throat. Laurent was sitting on a stone outcrop. His jacket was discarded uncharacteristically. He was sitting on it.

this is a beautifully set scene.

A stone slid under his heel. Laurent turned. For a moment, Laurent looked at him wide-eyed, young, and then the look in his eyes changed, as though the universe had fulfilled an ineluctable promise. ‘Oh,’ he said, ‘perfect.’

a moment of surprise and vulnerability, and then practiced cool again. onto Some More Bullshit, i guess

this isn’t the chapter to really tackle this, but i will eventually write a long essay about how laurent goes through his own mini character growth arc, completely off the page, during the lamen divorce era. it’s just that damen has custody of the reader, so we don’t get to see it—only hints, like this moment here. laurent must have had a lot on his mind, too, ever since their last heated conversation. i have some ideas about what that “a lot” might be, but again, i don’t think i’ve gotten quite enough from laurent yet to really start forming a conclusion.

Damen said, ‘I thought you might want—’ ‘Want?’ ‘A friend,’ said Damen. He used Jord’s word. His chest felt tight. ‘If you’d prefer me to leave, I will.’ ‘Why cavil?’ said Laurent. ‘Let’s fuck.’

ON YOUR BROTHER’S FIGURATIVE GRAVE WITH HIS MURDERER????

‘That isn’t what I meant.’ ‘It might not be what you meant, but it’s what you want.’ Laurent said, ‘You want to fuck me.’ Anyone else would have been drunk. Laurent was dangerously sober.

yeah, no, he’s definitely being going through Some Shit on his own. lots of self-loathing, especially due to the fact that he can’t hate damen as much as he knows he should. yearning, more self-loathing because of that yearning. companionship withdrawals, a return to isolation. a revived sense of grief for his brother, and nicaise, and damen (not damianos) and even his relationship with his uncle, who he hadn’t thought would be capable of trying to kill him. hating himself and blaming himself and regretting things he’s done to push people away. just an all-around bad time, but a necessary time of reflection that he needs to experience on his own. damen can’t just swoop in and fix laurent, laurent has to decide that he’s worth saving first. he’s not there yet, clearly, assuming that damen only wants him as a sexual object. whiiiiich was probably why he went so hard on the eroticism with isander easlier, it was an easy victory to get damen hot and bothered. a game he could win, among the many other games he knows he’s losing—especially the ones against himself.

i’ll put together something more coherent before the divorce era ends. tbh, i kinda think this scene should have been a separate chapter, because there is some pretty massive whiplash here. although maybe not, maybe the buildup of emotional and sexual tension was the point. yeah, it was. the slavery stuff just made it more frustrating to read. never mind.

‘You’ve been thinking about it since Ravenel. Since Nesson.’ He knew this mood. He should have expected it. He made himself say the words. ‘I came because I thought you might want to talk.’ ‘Not particularly.’

it almost sounds like laurent played himself, for the millionth time, by getting himself worked up with isander when he just really wanted damen

He said, ‘About your brother.’ ‘I never fucked my brother,’ said Laurent, with a strange edge to the words. ‘That is incest.’ They were standing in the place where his brother had died. With a disorientating sensation Damen realised they weren’t going to talk about that. They were going to talk about this.

"yes, honey..."

‘You’re right,’ said Damen. ‘I’ve been thinking about it since Ravenel. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.’ ‘Why?’ said Laurent. ‘Was I that good?’ ‘No. You fucked like a virgin,’ said Damen,

deserved

‘half the time. The rest of the time—’ ‘Like I knew what to do?’ ‘Like you knew what you were used to.’ He saw the words impact. Laurent swayed, like he’d been dealt a blow. Laurent said, ‘I’m not certain I can take your particular brand of honesty just at the moment.’

oh well this is particularly horrifying with [redacted] context. also i think the quote “i’m not certain i can take your particular brand of honesty just at the moment” says A LOT about how laurent has always viewed damen, for better or for worse. laurent can count on damen to tell him what he needs to hear, not what he wants to hear. so it makes sense that he’s been avoiding damen lately, because laurent is going through his own crisis of personal reflection

Damen said, ‘I don’t prefer sophistication in bed, if you were wondering.’ ‘That’s right,’ said Laurent. ‘You like it simple.’ All the breath left his throat. He stood, stripped, unready for it. Will you use even that against me? he wanted to say, and didn’t. Laurent’s breathing was shallow too, holding his ground.

is “that” just laurent making fun of the way damen is earnest in bed? seems like an overreaction from damen if that's the case, so it’s probably something else i’m missing. maybe laurent is accusing damen of keeping the secret of his identity, even when they fucked, to make things simpler between them? that would support my previous theory that laurent is convinced that damen wouldn’t want him how he really is, as damen really is, with all the complications between them. or it’s a dig about auguste somehow, and i just can’t figure out how it connects.

‘He died well,’ Damen made himself say. ‘He fought better than any man I’ve known. It was a fair fight, and he felt no pain. The end was quick.’

like i said—what laurent needs to hear, not what he wants to hear. even if damen thinks that it’s going to make laurent hate him more, he still has the integrity to say it.

‘You sent your men out to look for me too?’ said Laurent, his mouth twisting. ‘No,’ said Damen, and pushed Laurent hard out of sight, into the shelter of one of the huge, crumbling blocks of stone. In the next second, the troop was on them, at least two hundred men, so that the air was thick with the passage of horses. Damen pressed Laurent firmly into the rock, and held him in place with his body. The riders didn’t slow, even on this uncertain ground in the dark, and any man in their path would be trampled, tumbled, kicked from hoof to hoof. Discovery was a real threat, the rock cool under his palms, the dark shuddering with the pounding of hooves and heavy lethal horseflesh. He could feel Laurent against him, the barely contained tension, adrenalin mixed with his dislike of the proximity, the urge in him to prise himself out and away, stifled by necessity.

throwback <3 i think this is very intentionally placed in this conversation, as a reminder that they are the same people they were in prince’s gambit

‘I know you’re not cold,’ said Damen. ‘You weren’t cold when you ordered me tied to the post. You weren’t cold when you pushed me down on your bed.’

more true things laurent does not want to hear right now! also i like the use of warmth, as the opposite of cold, to signify both vengeful rage and romantic/sexual passion. two sides of the same coin

‘A fair fight?’ said Laurent, turning back to him. ‘No fight’s ever fair. Someone’s always stronger.’

rewinding to their previous argument. aren’t they both tired? i’m tired.

[warcorrespondence]

I know I promised Sherlock reviews for Free Fandom Friday, and trust me, they will come, but first I have to talk about hockey. Oh, and Captive Prince.

Concordia by Ccainao3 is what we'll be discussing today, because I haven't stopped talking about it, nor will.

fandom: captive prince

pairing: damen/laurent

explicit, 123869 words

I'm going to start by saying that if you haven't read the Captive Prince series by C.S. Pacat, it is the humble opinion of this Correspondent that you really, really should. Like, right now. It's epic enemies to lovers villain with a heart of gold Nikki catnip and I will never, ever shut up about it.

But Concordia is something very different. First of all, it's a hockey au, and for all the hockey lovers in the hbowar fandom (@ep6bastogne included)...I am not one of them. I have never once seen a hockey. And yet, as has been discussed, there's...a lot of good hockey writing? So I've read a shocking amount of hockey, and I'm here to tell you that Concordia offers Very Good Hockey.

More than that, it offers extremely good character work. Captive Prince is full of horrors, and in taking the story out of that Franco/Roman fantasy world, Ccainao3 did not remove the horrors--they exposed them. The traumas in all their multitudes are laid bare, and each character is forced to work through them. Damen and Laurent work slowly (very slowly) through Laurent's abuse, as well as each of their complicated relationships with Auguste (who lives). Damen also works through his relationship with Kastor. As in the books, Damen and Laurent are both deeply flawed people, who are trying so fucking hard.

If this all sounds dark and challenging...it is. But it's also so fun and sweet and lovely! Damen and Laurent are just so good for each other, and hard on each other in the best kinds of ways, and it was wonderful to watch them come together and heal.

“Did you think I’d been reporting on you, or something?” “No,” Laurent says, but his face twitches. Damen digs in his pocket for his phone, and tosses it to Laurent, who fumbles it a little but doesn’t let it fall. He looks down at it, and then back up at Damen. “What,” he says, blank. Damen gives a “go-ahead” gesture. “You’re serious,” Laurent says. “As a heart attack.” For a moment, Laurent looks almost anguished. “If your passcode’s four sevens, I’m breaking up with you,” he says finally. “No you won’t,” Damen says comfortably. His passcode is, in fact, four sevens; there’s a click as Laurent unlocks it. “And besides, we’re just friends.” “Of course,” Laurent murmurs. “By any chance, do you have a peach emoji and a heart next to all your friends’ names?” Damen’s face is on fire. “The, uh, the peach emoji’s old.” “And the heart is new?” Damen had added it a week ago on a whim, after Laurent had sent him a text asking him to grab some yogurt on his way home. “Newer.” “I suppose I should add an eggplant to yours,” Laurent says, almost too quietly to hear. Damen thinks he must be eggplant-colored at this point. “Sure,” he says.

[dnana-2809-blog]

hello! 🫂 i just wanted to ask your lovely question back at you: favorite moments from any media that you love (books, anime/manga, tv series, movies, games, etc)? 💖

Thanks asking me back, Kybelles. Here are some of my favorite moments from media (that I remember right now, because I must forget a lot of others) :

1. That scene in "King's Rising" between Laurent and Damen, also become my favorite quote from Captive Prince : "I think if I gave you my heart, you would treat it tenderly."

2. When Sherlock save William in that bridge and give him a new purpose in life. Sherlock said this while hugging William (and falling together) : "Finally— I've caught you now. Liam... Let's both survive. Live on, both you and I..." (Have you read Moriarty the Patriot?)

3. Talking about my favorite moments, there have to be this scene between Xiel Lian and Hua Cheng, and this beloved quote : "The one standing in infinite glory is you; the one fallen from grace is also you. What matters is ‘you’ and not the state of you."

4. "Their bodies simply moved on their own". I'm talking between Izuku and Katsuki from BNHA, where both willingly want to sacrificed their self for each other, because both are "childhood friends"....

5. In Owari no Seraph, when Mikaela needed blood, Yuuichiro offer his own (in this story, Yuu really hate vampire but he still care for Mika,his best friend/family). Now, Yuu offer the blood in his hand, but Mika just "attack" his neck...and Yuu let him.

6. From Buddy Daddies, in the sports festival, where Miri took Kazuki and Rei's hands because all of them are family. It's so sweet (Have you watched Buddy Daddies?)

7. This time is from BL manga called "I'll Meow for You, So Love Me" (don't be fooled by the silly title, the story is so good). Where MC said to the ML (love interest) : "I thought you want to go to find your happy ending" and the ML said : "And here I am, back to get it". (Because finally he realized that his happy ending is right in front of him the whole time).

8. Trisha's speech to Hohenheim in Fullmetal Alchemist : Brotherhood. As she said this, the ending song plays and there were flashback of all the characters (one of my favorite moments from that anime, too).

Sorry for this long answer, and for mostly from anime/manga. Hope you don't mind...

[allthefujoshiunite]

Hi, Nora.....do you mind if I ask for BL recs? A few of my favorite ships are Damen/Laurent from 'Capive Prince' novels (kind, protective, bigger build seme x clever, kuudere, beautiful uke) and Andrew/ Neil from from 'All for The Game : Foxhole Court' novels (both have strong personalities, can be reversible couples, looks weak but actually strong)?

Sorry for this long ask, but can I ask, for BL recs that have the same vibe as one or a few of them (up above)?

Feel free if you want to answer or not....

Thanks so much for your blog, that have become like my guideline (because I'm quite new in BL)....

Thanks again....

Hello! No worries, it's a joy for me to recommend BL and if people enjoy my selection, it makes me all the more happy! However, unfortunately, I haven't read the novels you mentioned... So I feel like my recommendations will be way off the mark but I'll try my best ~

My Dear Agent (Ebino Bisuke): This one has bigger, kind, and protective seme and a cool, beautiful, and funny uke (not a kuudere, though). I not only enjoyed but laughed a lot, and the art is gorgeous so highly recommended! Can be read on INKR (or you can buy it from any place you can get TOKYOPOP titles).

Lullaby of the Dawn (Ichika Yuno): Another bigger, protective, puppy seme with a reserved/detatched, beautiful uke pairing with fantasy elements. I've only read the first volume so far but it's super emotional and beautiful inside and out! Can be read on Bookwalker (or any other place where you can get ShuCream titles).

Our Paradise (Greeneer): My last big & cute, puppy seme with reserved, beautiful uke recommendation that I'm nowadays going crazy over is Our Paradise. You won't regret giving this webtoon a chance! Not only the main characters, but their friend circles and the second couple we started to explore more in 2nd season are also fun & really interesting! And obviously, I need MOAR people to scream about it with me. Can be read for free with daily pass on Webtoon.

Just Love, The Monster (Tsukizuki Yoshi): This is a high school delinquent x honor student kind of story. Both MCs are headstrong and fight a lot obviously, but it was fun to read! It's in Futekiya's library, can be read with your subscription plan.

Total Submission (Tsushiko): This is another delinquent x honor student story with dom/sub element that I love! If you're okay with spicy BL and you love seeing hotheaded characters getting tamed by their sweet and kind senpai, this is for you. Available on Futekiya's subscription plan.

We Aren't Secure (Sojima Yuco): This title is an Omegaverse set in high school. MCs are childhood friends and the story has a bittersweet tone to it, and it's definitely nice to read characters who are on more equal terms in Omegaverse instead of an apparent power hierarchy in between. Available on Futekiya's subscription plan.

BONUS

God is Probably Left-Handed (Mushiba): If you've read any of Mushiba's works before, you might know it takes time to warm up to their stories. They are full of surprises, wacky coincidences, and interesting characters that you don't usually see in BL. But these are the exact reasons why I love Mushiba's works so much, and they are quite unforgettable. God is Probably Left-Handed fits into only one of the criteria you're looking for (I won't mention what it is so I won't spoil the story) but I was sooo surprised the way the manga ended! If you're looking for something different to read, Mushiba is your artist. Highly recommended!

As I have said, I haven't read the novels soI just went with whatever seemed suitable to the dynamics you mentioned, hopefully you'll find something that'll be of interest to you. Thank you so much for the ask and have a nice day!

[sunymar]

41. The only way you're getting off is on my thigh ;)

For LAMENNNN PLSSS you literally write sooooo fucking good like it hurtsssss anyway love your Dom! Damen so much he a snack and bratty! Laurent is the BESTT!!!😋😁👅❤️😭

ahhh thank you so much you're so sweet 🥰🥰❤️ dommy/brat tamer damen and bratty laurent will forever be my favorite dynamic haha and thank you for this prompt!!

Laurent lifts his head with a small sniffle and an inquisitive noise. It makes Damen realize he wasn't listening to him, but nstead of scolding him he decides to wait and pamper him a little more, stroking his spine soothingly and hushing him with soft whispers.

After a couple minutes, he uses his other hand to tilt Laurent's chin up and get a better look at his face. His cheeks and nose are pink and wet, which is a sight Damen gets treated to a lot but one he'll never grow tired of, but his baby blue eyes are still covered by Damen's tie. A part of Damen wishes he could see the regret in them, but the other thinks Laurent looks too lovely like this.

"I said," Damen says, softly, rubbing circles under Laurent's jaw with his thumb, "that the only way you're getting off is on my thigh, baby."

The sound that leaves Laurent's lips is not the sound Damen would expect from someone who just got thoroughly spanked over his knee, but he's not surprised by it. He tries not to smirk when the smallest flick of his wrist has Laurent writhing and sobbing in his lap all over again.

"You brute," Laurent hisses, struggling against his bindings—his own tie, tied around his wrists—and getting nowhere with it. It earns him a second, a third, and a fourth slap on his already very warm and red ass. His hips jump against Damen's leg, rubbing against the towel Damen placed there. He's so hard it has to be painful. "I will—" "Sh, sh, sh," Damen tuts, taking a small break to thread his fingers through Laurent's soft hair. "We still have two meetings left today, sweetheart, and I'm already worried you might not be able to sit all through them without letting my father and everyone in the room realize that you've misbehaved all evening. I wouldn't want to add to that."

Laurent squirms a little more before giving up with a small sigh, and Damen leans down to kiss the top of his head. He stays like this for an entire minute, his lips pressed against Laurent's crown, breathing in the sweet scent of his shampoo.

"Everyone likes my intern so much," Damen says, mostly for himself. "Let's not leave them waiting for too long, yes, sweetheart?"

When a few seconds pass by, and Laurent still doesn't move, Damen lifts his hand again.

[s0ym1lk]

I think you've got it inverted! Damen changes the most and Laurent the least! we are told the story from damens POV and he is an unreliable narrator, but even despite that its pretty clear that although he was never a bad guy, he was definitely spoiled/privileged and sort of irresponsible (his long list of lovers, his defending of the practice of slavery to begin with). It only seems like Laurent changed so much because of how Damen saw him and him finally being able to See the true Laurent near the end. Laurent was always kind and sweet, but he had many things (mostly his uncle) not allowing him to freely express that.

(CW: slavery because this subject is hella dicey and potentially triggering) I disagree! I'll give you the slavery thing, that is one thing Damen changes on, but his number of lovers is not presented as a flaw. In fact, his being a caring, generous, devoted lover is revealed to have saved him twice - once when Jokaste saved him by convincing Kastor to ship him to Vere instead of killing him, and again as part of the stability that Damen offers that allows Laurent to eventually trust him. Damen's arc is being thrown into increasingly precarious situations with larger and larger reasons to compromise his ideals, but Damen chooses every time to stay true to himself, and because he does that, Laurent eventually is dragged (kicking and screaming) into trusting him not to betray him. I'd even argue that the slavery topic is in some ways a confirmation of this. In the first book during the exchange with Torveld, Laurent expects Damen to bargain with Laurent for his own life, but Damen bargains for the Akielon slaves instead. And you can see how Laurent is torn in this, because even though he thinks less of Damen for his position on slavery and for not understanding how the system is fundamentally changing the people that are oppressed by it, in another sense Damen sees slaves as human and worthy of life and care, and he commits to protecting them even when it means giving up opportunities for himself.

Laurent in contrast changes a lot. He beats the shit out of Damen in the first novel. He says, over and over again, that he's glad he did it, well into the third book. That's because his hatred for Damen due to killing Auguste is a cornerstone of Laurent's identity. Part of Laurent's redemptive arc is accepting that he can love the man who killed his brother. He still hasn't come to terms with this even when he and Damen sleep together; it's one of the very last changes Laurent goes through.

Another example: one big throughline for Captive Prince is neatly summarized by the "a kingdom or this" line. At the end, Damen chooses "this", which is to say, he chooses Laurent. But that's actually not out of keeping with Damen's identity. Remember, we talked about how Damen threw away his opportunity to bargain with Laurent (and thus maybe escape, go back to Akielos, take his kingdom back) to help the slaves. He nearly gives himself up for Jokaste's baby, regardless of whether it's even his. Damen is reliable in that he always, always puts the welfare of people first. Laurent ALSO eventually chooses "this", but for him it's a true change. His first goal was one-upping his uncle, then saving his kingdom, and finally saving Damen. He gives up everything he's worked for for Damen, after starting the series as a bitter, hateful man that wanted nothing more than to kill him. (And I do 100% believe that Laurent would have killed him, if it didn't run counter to his then-ultimate goal of defeating his uncle.)

Anyway, different takes are valid, this is just my read.

[rosyandraw]

I'm doing a rereading because a long time ago I promised you I would come back with all of my thoughts but then life got in the middle and I lost my phone notes but whatever 🌷✨🎀 I'm back! 🎀✨🌷

Hihi lovely girl!! it's me your Berry anon 🫐🫐 how you doing?? I read you quit your job and that you wrote a whole book? WOW I'm so happy for you.. hope everything is wonderful.

Now.. I came here because before my re reading of nmfy I decided to reread Deliver which is the first fanfic I read from you (I loved it 💛💛 I honestly come back to it every Christmas)

But well my point was that I love your writing and I especially love your Damens. I think no one does modern aus Damen like you do 💖💖 he really feels like if Capri was a romcom / contemporary novel then that how they would be but even more for Damen... soooo i was wondering which one between deliver and nmfy do you think its closer to canon possiblities? and which one did you enjoy writing the most? Haha 👀👀👀

Well that's all for now this time I will come back with an even longer ask of me talking about nmfy last chapter 👀😍 this time I'm for real 😬

Kisses, kisses your now and forever Berry anon 🫐🍒🫐

(can you believe it's been so long that I finally have an actual berry emoji?🫠)

Ps: if you don't feel like answering my question just forget about it haha I just got curious 🧐😘

YAAAYYY!!!!! Omfg I was wondering where you had gone, I hope everything is okay and that you’re living your best life!!

As always you are way too nice and I love you for that haha, what have you been doing with yourself?

OMG YES I WROTE A BOOK! Do you Beta read? I can send it to you after this last draft is done if you would be into dark queer fantasy that’s a little bit ACOTAR x Captive Prince x Kingdom of the Wicked and fancied giving me some feedback haha

Omg you’re too sweet, you don’t have to do that haha! Oooo great question

I think in Deliver there is a recklessness to Damen that Damen could never allow himself in canon due to his position when in Akielos, but which he rolls with pretty easily when he’s “just a slave” in Vere so I leant into that more a bit more. The stakes are lower so his drive isn’t the same and that obviously effects his view of himself and the world.

The NMFY Damen does have a lot of responsibilities so he has stricter rules to live by. He’s still done some bad stuff but he is dedicated all the same. The Auguste stuff has made Damen less blind to the world around him than he is in Canon though. I still think NMFY Damen is probably closer to Canon. For example I can, and have, imagined NMFY Damen punching Laurent in the face like he did at Ravenel lmao. But Deliver Damen would never. But idk, what do you think?

It means a lot to me that you love the way I write contemporary Damen. I think mostly because he’s reduced almost every single time to just Laurent’s Love Interest. Or he’s made into a himbo or a misogynistic prick and I’m just… I fucking hate the reduction of Damen’s character lmao so I’ll always strive to write him as a person (and a crazy nuanced one at that, the way we see in Canon). So thank you, that means a lot to me.

So lovely to hear from you my dear, you always make my day brighter  💕 💕 💕 💕

[enjolrasofficial]

i saw you’re currently reading the captive prince and now i have to ask: do you think it’s worth the read? like i remember reading it at sixteen thinking ‘what the shitfuck is this?!?!’, like i hated it, absolutely hated it. but i have no recollection of the plot or anything other than my dislike. and i have had people tell me that they like it a lot, so i’m considering a reread simply to either cement my dislike or change it. would love to hear your thoughts on it just out of curiosity!

Heyyyy omg thank you for asking bc i have LOTS of thoughts about captive prince and i'm ALWAYS ready to rant about it!!

okay so i have very strong opinions about cp (and i need to warn you i've read it like 30 times in the past 7 years). the thing is. most people who say they hate it read the book with the wrong context notion. especially the first book . which is exactly why i give everyone who wants to read it and asks me about it the full trigger warning list and the disclaimer to NOT read the first book as a romance novel. (which is why i get very angry randomly when i remember that audible sorts the first book into the erotica genre which it decidedly isn't imo)

cp being sorted into erotica makes me so mad bc book one is a lot of things but NOT erotica. everything that happens in that book is to show the recipient the worst parts of both the akielon and vetretian cultures and societies and their practices. it introduces the reader the protagonists (well mostly damen but i will talk about that later) and outlines their struggles and motives. so i usually read the first book as something akin to a thriller and/or critique of the society bc nothing that happens in the first book is happy or sweet or erotic or lighthearted or romantic. it's all terrible, terrifying and just plain horror and i feel like that's also what the first book is SUPPOSED to convey.

book 2&3 are where the protagonists and circumstance both change. the protagonists learn and grow BECUASE they're removed from the awful court society and the circumstances they'd been thrown in by intrigues and fate. non of this change in them could've happened if they'd stayed in Arles. it shows the reader that the way they change each other and grow away from their respective cultures is a good thing bc both societies have MASSIVE FLAWS which are highlighted to excess in book one (and which is also commented on in the bonus short stories)

so yes if you read all three books as romance when you first read them i understand why you would've been disturbed by them as everything that happens in the first book is VERY disturbing and massive parts of the second and third book are quite disturbing too. However if one reads it under the prerequisite one would read let's say the hunger games (or any dystopian novel) under i wouldn't say it gets less disturbing but the reader suddenly uncovers a whole other layer of the book.

also i personally think that they get so much better (not in the sense of that it gets less disturbing but more so which makes the story better imo) with every reread bc you know so much more about laurent and his motives and his reactions and why he acts the way he acts whereas the reader now KNOWS the ways in which damen actively misinterprets laurents actions which is SO BRILLIANT bc it shows us that a) damen TRIES and he's a good guy but also that he's an absolutely unreliable narrator bc his experiences were so different from laurents and b) just how much laurent is struggling with the fact that he KNOWS and i love it i reread it SO OFTEN

also sorry this got a little longer than planned oopsie ly have a nice day 🤍

[pourcap]

thoughts: kr chapter 11

hi! i’m alive. hope you’re all doing well :)

‘Strip her and send her to Vere as a slave?’ Damen didn’t move from the sill. Nikandros said, ‘You don’t really want that.’ ‘No,’ he said. ‘I want it to be worse.’ i get it. imagine the person you love betraying you like this. damen really had everything he held dear taken away from him within just a few hours. i can’t imagine how it must feel for him to see jokaste again after all he’s been through 

‘Put your best soldiers on her door, your most loyal, and choose them from among those who have no taste for women.' lol. smart

He knew what Veretian eyes saw when they looked at him: a barbarian in savage splendour. He did nothing to lessen the impression. He sat on the throne in armour, his thighs and arms heavy with bared muscle. i haven’t mentioned how hot i think damen is in a while, so: he’s so hot

He let him see Laurent too, let him see the picture they presented, royalty united. can’t they just rule both akielos and vere by each other’s sides???

(...) Damen liked it. He liked having Laurent beside him, liked letting the Regent’s herald see that Laurent had Akielos alongside him—had Damianos of Akielos, now in his favoured arena of war. i love them so much, and i love them working together just being a huge fuck you to the regent, and i love that all of this is the regent’s own fault for underestimating laurent and being prejudiced against damen

‘We accept the Regent’s surrender at Charcy,’ said Damen. so snarky. i love him so much.

‘No head in a bag?’ said Laurent. also very snarky. my heart hurts, though. nicaise has only really been in book 1 and i still miss him a lot :( (fuck the regent)

Laurent’s voice was mild. Relaxed on the throne, one leg extended out in front of himself, a wrist draped elegantly on the wooden arm, the shift in power was evident. He was no longer the rogue nephew, fighting alone on the border. He was a significant, newly established power, with lands and an army of his own. god i love him sooo much !!! i can’t believe one of the most cunning, insufferable and cruel protagonists i’ve ever encountered makes me so feel so soft for him. not that laurent isn’t also very sweet and caring and kind, or that his behavior isn’t understandable. he is this weird mix of really vicious and really cute. 

‘Your uncle is a good man. The Council has called for your death, but your uncle will not hear them. He will not accept the rumours that you have turned on your own people. He wants to give you the chance to prove yourself.' i haaaaaate the regent so much. soooo much. 

Laurent only regarded Estienne for a moment, before he turned his attention back to the herald. ‘‘All that is mine will be returned to me”? Were those his words? Tell me his exact words.' ??? i'm not following. what am i missing...?

well. there is no way the regent would let laurent live, even if he showed up for the trial.

‘Ride back to the Regent,’ said Damen, ‘and tell him this. All that is rightfully Laurent’s will return to him when he is King. (...) He faces Vere and Akielos united. And he will fall to our might.' soooo sexy. just. so sexy.

‘You are a patricide. You killed your own father, King Theomedes of Akielos.' honestly, kastor just annoys me. he never really does anything; never even showed up when damen was shipped off to vere, damen said he saw jokaste’s hand in every attempt to frame damen, not kastor’s, and now everything that goes on in akielos is being reported to damen by the regent’s men. even if the regent won at the end of all this, it’d be so easy for him to get rid of kastor.

With sudden double vision, Damen saw Laurent as he was, his true isolation. The Regent had done this to Laurent, had whittled away his support, had turned his people against him. He remembered trying to convince Laurent of the Regent’s benevolence in Arles, as naive as Estienne. Laurent had had a lifetime of this. sometimes i wonder how laurent managed to live through all this. his perseverance and strength are admirable, honestly. i’m pretty sure he was to nicaise what auguste was to him. 

‘I’d get a trial,’ said Laurent. ‘It’s what he wants. He wants me proven unfit. He wants the Council to ratify him as King so that he can rule with his claim wholly legitimised.' too bad that won’t ever happen <3

ugh. so jokaste is another one of the regent’s pawns.

He knew that he was not in control of himself. (...) He looked over at Laurent and said, flatly, ‘Deal with it.' i know i’ve said it before but damen and laurent as a duo are so sexy, and by now i am one-hundred percent convinced they could do anything as long as they have each other. there is so much respect and trust there, now, i can’t believe how far they’ve come.

 The extent to which she and Laurent resembled each other, in colouring, in their cool, intellectual lack of emotion, in the detachment with which they regarded one another, was both unnerving and extraordinary. they’re like ethereally beautiful horror twins

(...) ‘Damianos has sent me his bed boy. Blond, blue-eyed, and all laced up like a virgo intacta. You’re just his type.' obviously jokaste has very intimate knowledge of damen’s tastes, but i wonder if everyone in akielos just knows that their crown prince is a slut (affectionate) for gorgeous blondes. imagine everyone who has a pretty son or daughter with blonde hair showing up at the palace in hopes that damen might want to marry them.

‘I think we both know you weren’t the one fucking him. You were on your back with your legs in the air. He hasn’t changed that much.' now i want damen to bottom for laurent, just out of spite.

‘Confined?’ said Laurent. god, i love him. 

‘(...) But you and I both know that Damen does not make love like that. He took you slowly. He kissed you until you started to want it.' i mean... she’s not wrong. 

‘It’s heady, isn’t it?’ said Jokaste. ‘He was born to be a king. He’s not a stand-in, or a second choice, like you are. He rules men just by breathing. When he walks into a room, he commands it. People love him. Like they loved your brother.' i know she’s trying to provoke laurent but that’s pretty rich coming from someone who’s not even royal 

‘My dead brother,’ said Laurent helpfully. ‘Shall we now do the part where I spread for my brother’s killer? You can describe it again.' it’s so painful to think about how and why laurent can just switch his emotions off at once, to avoid being hurt. i love him so much and he makes me so sad  

Laurent said, ‘Now we are both telling the truth.' i know laurent is just looking to get a rise out of her, but it is sweet that he admitted to feeling that way about damen <3

‘You haven’t asked me about my son.' no way.

‘You have sent Damianos’s son to my uncle.' ugh. i think i really do hate jokaste.

[dreamdropxoxo]

Hi,.....if you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from Captive Prince trilogy? And why do you love them? And your top 5 favorite moments from the novels? Sorry if you've answered this question before....Thanks....

Hello lovely!

Thank you so much for your ask and sorry that it took me some time to actually answer. Currently, I'm not able to invest as much time into my writing and blog as I'd like. 😩

My answer is so freaking long, I'm so sorry 😂

To answer your question, and be prepared for the disappointment 😂, I'm not very inventive. My favourite characters are:

Damen -> I simply love him as a character because he actually goes through a deep and difficult development. His starting point is a very black/white worldview. For him, there are only good and bad people, nothing in between. Circumstances don't matter to him and he has absolutely no empathy for the powerless. Not in a spiteful manner or in a I-don't-care-about-the-"good"-weak like Erasmus, but as in he never was powerless and has absolutely no idea what that does to people and how that can influence people to do "bad" things. He was never really desperate in this ugly, I'd-do-anything-to-get-out-of-this-situation kind of way. So, he doesn't understand how some people can let that influence them and that makes him an asshole to people who are not in his "good" corner. He's judgmental and arrogant and his charm and physical power seem to support him in everything he does and says. However, as the story progresses, I think his simple, and somewhat childish, worldview gets shattered, most of all by Laurent himself, who he had firmly placed in the "bad" corner but manages to get out of this place in Damen's mind slowly but surely until he comes to love him with a depth he had never experienced before. That he can admit that he changed his mind on some things and people and would handle some things differently shows a strength of character lots of people don't have and I admire that deeply.

Laurent -> I've been at the point many readers have been probably in that I didn't like him at first. Damen's viewpoint influenced me so badly that I disliked Laurent a lot at first. And then everything changed. Laurent came to be one of my most admired characters in media. His mind, his perseverance and his humanity made him a beloved figure in my heart. He's such a sweet and caring person, driven to the very edge by his uncle, greed of others and loneliness and yet, he fights with everything he has, protects the people he can protect. He humbles himself, he endures the discomfort that comes with being the "bad" guy and "useless" heir to the throne as his uncle makes him out to be, he doesn't allow himself to give up although that would have been easier. For me, he is one of the strongest characters I've read about. He displays an ability for forgiveness I admire a lot, especially considering how often he was hurt and betrayed by others. Forgiving someone and seeing them for who they really are, after having a very clear picture of them because they hurt you badly (like Damen hurt Laurent), is one of the absolutely hardest things imaginable. For me, Laurent is a deeply inspiring character.

Nikandros -> My reasons for liking Nikandros are much simpler 😂. Nikandros' loyalty towards Damen made me adore him, his plain view of Damen's failures made me love him. Why? Well, first of all, Nik isn't in a position where he needs Damen's favour or where Damen rescued him from less fortunate circumstances. Nik is one of the most powerful men in the kingdom by his own right. His loyalty to Damen comes from mutual respect and love and I absolutely love that (yes, I'm a big fan of friendships xD). And yet I believe that Nik is one of the few people who don't hero-worship Damen but sees his flaws. He's stubborn and prejudiced but mostly because he saw Damen do one stupid thing after the other while ignoring his advice at every turn. Imagine having a friend who does stupid shit and you tell them they're doing stupid shit and they do the stupid shit even harder just because? I mean honestly, I admire Nik a great deal.

Jokaste -> Aw yes, Jokaste, she's great. Woman in a man's man's world... So much potential, so much greatness, so much intelligence, but no possibility to achieve the things she wanted to achieve by her own simply because of her gender. As a result, instead of giving up, she decides to do something about it and if people get hurt/are a means to an end, then so be it. It's not as if she got spared hurt and disappointment. I totally stan a woman like her.

My favorite scenes:

When Damen throws his freaking sword to save Laurent. I mean the visual alone!!!

The scene where Laurent confronts Aimeric with his treachery. Goodness, the emotions. I'm going to freaking die.

The scene where Laurent kills a man with a chair (badassery at its finest)

The Okton (does this even need words?)

The moment where Damen almost fainted because Laurent put his boot on his chest in bed? Yeah the good shit xD

I loved this ask so much (I could have rambled on forever) but I think I have to stop here otherwise you will be bored to death 😂. How about you? What are your favourite characters and scenes?

[northisnotup]

I’m late!!

But I am still gonna play! Thank you @kelliealtogether for tagging me in the ‘five favourite fics that I've written (for writer appreciation day)’ 

This was the kindest thing you could have tagged me in, because as much as I love my fics when I post them, I tend to have a distorted view of them later on, thinking that my writing must have been so much worse, that I’m sure I fucked up the pacing, etc. But having now gone back and re-read a lot of these, I like them just as much - so much that choosing just 5 is gonna be hard! 

1. Pan Cookies

Oldest first - and also because it’s the only Dragon Age fic I have and tbh I adore it. Short and sweet, Dorian and Sera deserve to bond over shitty parents - the end!

Dragon Age Inquisition, Gen.

This is the story of how Sera and Dorian became crazy, drunken, selfie-olympics bffs. Enjoy. 

2. Kisseltoe

This was a holiday exchange fic that I still think is really stinkin’ cute. Did it have to be this long, or complicated? No! But I thrive on turning simple plots into drawn out character studies.

Overwatch, Cole Cassidy/Hanzo Shimada

Trapped under the mistletoe, Cole has now kissed every person at this party but the one person he actually wants to.

3. Rita’s Blessing

First rule of thieving: Know what your mark wants.

The Penumbra Podcast, Juno Steel/Peter Nureyev

First rule of thieving: Do your own research.

First rule of thieving: Know what you, yourself, want.

What Peter Nureyev wants is to wake up next to Juno Steel every day for the rest of his life. He wants to travel the galaxy at his side, day after day, until death at last parts them. He wants so deeply and with such fervor it weighs on his heart like nothing else, save the ring, which stays always in one of his many pockets, feeling like a star attempting to collapse in on itself.

And that is the problem.

FOR INSTANCE. This was supposed to be a short and sweet exchange fic for a friend. It wasn’t supposed to take as long as it did (the better part of a year) but it did! And tbh - I love it a lot. I’m glad it took that long. I’m glad I met them. I’m glad I wrote this. I genuinely think it’s one of the best things I’ve ever written. 

4. We often confuse what we wish for, with what is

“You just have to hope that betraying one another is not in their self-interests?” Juno misquotes back to him, dry.

The Penumbra Podcast, Juno Steel/Peter Nureyev

“This is not the first partner, team, group or crew I have allied with,” Nureyev finally says, clipped and crisp. Weary and wary and just him in place of where Ransom would already be soliciting Buddy’s forgiveness. “And I’m sure you are all familiar with the...self serving nature of those in our line of work.”

He nods. “Quite. And once the job is complete, it’s not uncommon to look into the face of an ally and see an enemy instead."

Second FOR INSTANCE. This was a fic I never intended to write. As many of my fics start, this came from the want of using one particular line and having to figure out WHERE that line fit. Juno saying ‘oh you’re gonna want to think so carefully about what you say next,’ was living in my brain rent free and I had to find a home for it and so came forth this Murderbot-Leverage-esque story of Peter Nureyev, master thief. 

...crap now I have to choose between Captive Prince and The Raven Cycle. Wait. No I don’t. Fuck it. I’m going rogue!

5. Attend Me

This is just fun, silly, modern day fluff. I like the world I made behind it, but mostly I just wanted to see how they fit together.

Captive Prince, Damen/Laurent

Housebound following an accident, Damen prepares an important dinner.

6. Here with You

The Raven Cycle/The Dreamer Trilogy, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish

When Adam received the invitation to Declan Lynch's wedding, he'd known that seeing Ronan again was going to be difficult.

This is one of those fics that has a huge, sprawling backstory that I have no willpower or time to fully write. However, I think this small snippit gives just enough of a look into what was and what could be and I really like it for that.

Alright! That’s enough self indulgence from me, so I’m gonna pass this off to @sanerontheinside @themarchrabbit @parakeatswrites @audikatia @rabbitdarling @the-prince-of-tides and @blue-mood-blue happy ficcing!!

[laurentspup]

Friends... Is that what we are? (Lamen AU) Part 7.5

Masterlist

Author’s note: 

Hey it’s been so long since I updated this! It still takes a lot of me to think of dialogue and edit the messages, so this isn’t new content. It is, however, what really happened in part 7 (when Damen went to Laurent’s house and read him a book, and kissed his forehead). I always thought this was better in paragraphs than soc med format, so here it is. I actually drafted this before part 7 and I finished it now! 

I hope you all enjoy this new chapter and I promise I will be back with a new update soon. I just have to get used to driving (just passed my license a month ago), college (it’s my last year), and work (first year in person). 

Okay that was a lot, now onto this chapter full of sweetness and pining.

Part 7.5

It’s past midnight, but Laurent still has a big smile on his face since his call with Damen. It has been a few hours after Damen simply talked about his day, about his brother, about the yacht his parents bought because they had too much money and nothing more to spend it on, anything he could think of. Laurent was more than happy to sit there and listen to his voice. He liked the man too much to do anything else about it.

He is currently studying for his upcoming biology exam on Tuesday. It’s not too bad of an exam, but there are endless terms, endless body functions, and he hates that all he can do is memorize everything. It’s not learning but it does result in an A. His phone buzzes beside him, and welcoming any distraction, he picks it up to see a text from Damen. He’s downstairs.

Laurent runs to his window to check if it’s true. Damen, knowing exactly what Laurent does every time he surprises Laurent with a visit, is looking up at him, waving. Damen’s at Laurent’s door. He isn’t supposed to be home yet, back in this city, but here he is, glowing under the porch light, gorgeous in his hoodie, and everything Laurent ever wanted. He’s speaking but Laurent, shaking his head with a look of disbelief, can’t hear him. 

“Wait one sec.” He whispers with a gesture and turns around to go downstairs in a hurry. Before opening the door, he fixes his hair and assumes a relaxed position, as if his heart isn’t pounding miles a minute at the prospect of Damen outside his house, at midnight. As if this doesn’t happen almost everyday.

Once he’s face to face with Damen’s kind eyes, with the smile that can only be read as extremely happy to see him, his heart hammers harder in his chest.

“What are you doing here?” Laurent breathlessly asks him with wide eyes, confusion and excitement evident on his face, try as he might to mask it.

Damen is also breathless, though Laurent can’t think of any reason why.

“I missed you.”

It’s a punch to all the right places in Laurent’s heart. It’s something he can never say to Damen out loud, but he feels it all the same, right down to his bones. It’s something he didn’t know Damen had the nerve to say out loud to him. 

“I mean-” Damen begins and Laurent’s face twitches. Damen must have caught it because he stops. “I mean yeah. I missed you so I drove back since there’s nothing to do at my parent’s anymore. And I got you this.”

Laurent doesn’t see the Target plastic bag in Damen’s hand until he lifts it. 

“It’s from my mom. She insisted I give you a home-cooked meal since she knows you’re mostly alone nowadays. She doesn’t stop hinting at my dad that she wants to go on a European tour too, see Paris- what? Why are you smiling?”

Laurent doesn’t know he’s smiling. He tries to school his expression even though it’s too late.

“Nothing. You’re here. No- it’s just- I don’t know what I’m saying. Come in.” He quickly says the sentences after the other, making Damen laugh and his cheeks flush. “Shut up.”

“I wasn’t saying anything!” Damen enters behind him, shaking with happiness. 

Laurent leads him to the kitchen, so he can put the food in the fridge. It’s too late to eat right now and he has a few more chapters to read.

Damen gives him the plastic bag and sits on the stool by the island. He stares at Laurent as he unpacks the tupperwares, then puts it in the fridge. A comfortable silence surrounds them, but Laurent is too conscious of Damen’s stare. It’s as if he can hear the dangerous somersaults Laurent’s heart was doing. 

“You still studying tonight?” 

“Yeah. Bio’s kicking my ass.”

“I’ll stay up with you. Nik’s not home yet, anyway. He visited his parents too since he was there already.”

“You don’t have to stay up.”

“No, I want-”

“But you can stay.”

“Well, I’m staying up and you can’t stop me.” Damen is right in front of Laurent's face when he turns to face him. He steps back quickly. “Cool?”

“Do whatever you want.” Laurent replies, heart in his throat, rushing to leave the kitchen and get to his room before Damen sees his face turn dangerously red. 

**

Laurent’s head is bent, back to Damen, busy reading the last chapter for his exam. Nothing is entering his brain anymore, but he has to read all of these at least two times to store it in his brain until his test. He’s been yawning since the third paragraph, and he has a massive headache which began in the previous chapter. 

It has been two hours since Laurent started studying and let Damen just be in the background. He would hear Damen’s little laughs, gasps, or groans at whatever game he was playing on his phone. He feels Damen’s gaze on his back, conscious of him being conscious of his every move. It was a normal routine for them at three am, but somehow, today, it was more. 

Laurent yawns again. This chapter about the reproductive system is very intriguing, but exasperating. He would rather do it himself than read about it. If only the man currently on his bed knew how much he has been thinking about him and this. He sighs at the idea, then hears Damen shuffle on his bed.

“I think you need to take a break.”

“Be quiet. I’m studying.”

“Take a break, Laurent. You’ve been reading nonstop for two hours. I got so bored I started counting how much you’re yawning. It's thirty-seven by the way.”

“That’s weird. Stop staring at me while I’m studying.”

“But I like looking at you all concentrated.” 

Laurent ignores him. “Just shut up. I have five more pages to go.”

Damen stands up and takes Laurent’s book. He holds it up above his head. Laurent rolls his eyes but doesn’t stand up.

“Give it back to me right now.” He crosses his arms like a stubborn child.

“Nope. You can try to grab it though.” The real stubborn child says.

“Just because you’re half a foot taller than me, doesn’t mean I can’t reach it.”

“Bet.” 

“I’m not in the mood for your games, Damen.”

“I’m not playing. Take a break.”

“Dude, I wanna sleep too. Just let me finish.”

“Dude?” Damen says, offended. Laurent ignores his tone again. He stares at Damen with eyebrows raised, trying to be intimidating, knowing well that it won’t work on Damen. “Fine. If you go to bed I’ll give it back to you. Even if you look super sleepy.”

“I’m not sleepy.” Just as Laurent finishes the last word, he yawns. 

Damen raises his eyebrows at him. “Thirty-eight.”

“Ha ha. Give me back the book.”

“When you go to bed.”

“I’m not falling for that.”

Damen falls back on Laurent’s bed. Maybe if he offered something else, Laurent might say yes. Maybe Laurent is just tired. 

“You gotta get this book one way or another.” Damen shrugs. 

Laurent stubbornly stays on his chair, staring daggers at Damen. What the hell is his problem? He didn’t ask him to stay up with him, he told him not to!

Laurent watches Damen flip through the book, knowing he hates it because he’s going to lose his spot. Still, he notices how Damen's index finger remains on the page he’s reading. It’s sweet, but Damen still sucks for making him take a break.

“Ugh.” Annoyed, Laurent stands and goes beside his bed. “I’m here. Hand it back.” 

“I have an idea.” Damen answers, not looking at him.

“Damen.” Laurent says, getting more aggravated by the second.

“Look, your eyes are so tired right now.”

“You’re not looking at me, and I can’t see my own eyes.”

Damen ignores him. “Did you even sleep last night?”

Laurent flushes when he remembers the reason why he hasn't slept well at all yet. It’s because of this annoying, clueless brute lying on his bed and he doesn’t even know! All the hours he spends pining for him, yet this is all that ever happens to them. 

“See? You haven’t.” Damen answers, interpreting Laurent’s expression as guilt and embarrassment. “Lie down right now and close your eyes.”

“Stop telling me what to do. I have to finish studying.” 

Laurent can just take the book, but he knows Damen will pull him and force him to lie down. God, if only Damen is going to do that for other reasons, he’d have done it the moment Damen told him to go to bed.

“I’ll read it to you.” 

“You’re going to what?” Laurent asks, genuinely taken aback.

“I'm gonna read to you while you rest your eyes. Saves time. You rest while you still learn. It’s a win-win.” Damen looks at him and smiles expectantly.

“That’s stupid, Damen. It’s five pages long. And it won’t go into my brain.” Laurent is exasperated. He’s losing patience. Hell, he doesn’t even know why he’s still keeping up this conversation. He could kick out Damen anytime. This is his house.

“Yes it would. You take in everything you hear fast.” Laurent opens his mouth to spit a vicious remark but Damen talks first. “Just let me help you. Please.”

Laurent closes his eyes, trying so hard, even though he doesn’t know why, to keep calm. He equally hates and loves Damen for making him take a break and for offering to read five pages of the reproductive system. He grits his teeth because he’s going to say yes, and he’s going to hear Damen talk about sex and sex parts without knowing what it will do to Laurent.

“You’re so annoying.” Laurent sits on the bed. Damen scoots to give him space with a wide smile on his face. “Why can’t I say no to you?” 

“It’s because secretly you really like me.”

He wants to strangle Damen. He wishes he could shake him and look him in the eye and scream “YES I FUCKING DO. DO YOU LIKE ME BACK, ASSHOLE?” Fuck him. It’s true. It’s so true, but Laurent is never going to admit that… first.

“Just read. Annoying prick.” He mumbles and makes himself comfortable on the bed. He makes sure there’s at least a foot gap between him and the idiot beside him.

“You can come closer. I don't bite.” Damen says, staring at Laurent with that glint in his eye, patting the space next to him.

“So fucking bossy.” Laurent says angrily and still scoots over. He’ll get over feeling Damen’s warmth and not being in his arms instead. “If I sleep, you better wake me up or I'm killing you.” 

He huffs as his head hits the soft pillow and his eyes close. It feels good. He thinks he hasn’t closed his eyes to blink in the past hours. 

“Can’t kill me if you’re sleeping.” Damen answers with confidence, settling back on the bed. Laurent feels him move until their shoulders touch, despite the purposeful one inch gap that Laurent left so this won’t happen. Now, he’s really annoyed and conflicted. But he doesn’t move away.

“Give me back the book.” 

“Kidding!”

“Just start.”

“So fucking bossy.” Damen teases. 

Laurent opens his eyes, ready to smack Damen or kick him out or maybe kiss him too, but he opens the book and starts reading loudly. “The penis is part of the male reproductive system. See Damen’s for ref-”

“I’m pretty sure it doesn't say your-” Laurent cuts him off.

“Shh, I’m reading.”

“Read properly, then. And I’m on the top of that page, first paragraph.”

Damen hushes him again. Laurent rolls his eyes but stays quiet. When Damen begins once more, he reads what Laurent told him to. Laurent feels his heart leap at that, desperate to reach out to Damen, put his head on his shoulder and listen from there. But he keeps his hands to himself. 

As Damen reads about functions of the reproductive organs, Laurent soaks in his voice and his warmth. Maybe, this isn’t such a bad idea. He can actually focus better. His eyes don’t hurt as much now, and he can picture the words that Damen reads. His deep voice compels him to listen, and it tugs at his heartstrings at the same time. He can’t even fathom how amazing it is to have Damen read a Biology book to him. 

This can’t be just a friendly gesture, Laurent’s brain nags at him. But he quickly kicks all thoughts of more because he knows Damen. Damen has probably done this with all of his friends. He’s just a nice guy who brings Laurent food and makes him take a break and reads his book for him, and Laurent just happens to like him. There’s nothing more.

He listens to Damen flip to the next page, and shuts off the part of his brain that continues to pine for the man beside him. He’ll take this right now and he’ll think about the repercussions tomorrow. Right now, he’ll let himself feel the warmth and comfort of Damen. Right now, he’ll listen to Damen’s voice, soothing him like a lullaby.

**

Laurent opens his eyes. It’s not dark, his lights are left on, and there’s an unfamiliar warmth beside him, something he’s unaccustomed to when he wakes alone. His head is on a harder surface, not on a pillow but- 

He shifts his eyes to the left and sees Damen's clothed chest. The chest his head is resting on right now. The chest his head rested on while he slept. The chest that’s steadily falling and rising. 

He slept and somehow, he ended up on Damen’s chest. He asked to be woken up if he slept, but he should have never trusted Damen. 

Damen, annoying, clueless Damen, whose clothed chest is under his head right now. 

He wants to move away, badly, but also, he can't. Because he wants to be here too, badly. 

Physically, there were no obstacles stopping Laurent from moving away. Damen’s arms aren’t even enveloping him. Somehow, he slept without touching Laurent, probably because he knows Laurent doesn’t like to be touched without permission. God, why is Damen so?

For a few moments, he imagines this is real. That Damen is his to sleep on, to cuddle with. That if Damen wakes right now, he’ll kiss Laurent sleepily, a lazy smile spreading across his face. So he stays for a few seconds, tempted to move his arm on top of Damen's torso and snuggle closer. He wants this to be what they are. But it’s not.

Before Laurent could do anything that he can’t explain to Damen without spilling his heart open, he sighs and prepares to move away. He no longer wants to hurt and delude himself further. He doesn’t want to think of this as a mistake, but it is. Damen doesn’t feel the same way he does. Damen is his best friend and he should stay that way. 

He moves back a little, but Damen shifts. He abruptly stops moving for a second to not wake him, but Damen puts his arms on top of him and brings him closer. 

“Don’t go.” A sleepy voice whispers as a kiss is pressed on Laurent’s forehead.

Laurent freezes. He must still be dreaming. There’s no way in hell or heaven that Damen just kissed him on the forehead, asleep or not. He swallows, too afraid to look up and find out if Damen did this on purpose or in his dream. In this position, Laurent’s head is even closer to Damen’s clothed chest and he can hear his steady heartbeat, can see the rise and fall of his chest, and can determine Damen isn’t awake at all. 

Laurent is going crazy. That’s it. He needs to leave, right now, but he can't move anymore. What the fuck is Damen doing to him? What the fuck is he dreaming about? Why can’t he just tell Laurent now that he likes him too, that nothing is ever simply friendly between them?

Once more, he tries to leave the embrace but Damen hugs him tighter. 

“Don’t go.” Damen whispers again. “Laurent, I love you.”

Laurent cannot move, cannot breathe, cannot close his eyes. He’s sure now. He’s the one dreaming.  

[laurent-ofvere]

Maya pls drop some Damen and Laurent, hmm any au you’ve been wanting to try or revisit? When you’re free of course and only if u want!!!

I just ugh 😑 your writing saves lives ok. And I know it’s fiction but it just keeps me going!

Also I too, do not want to study statistics (for psychology). So fck me

you have literally no idea how disconnected my brain has been from any new kind of content (I say with absolute fucking despair, ive never been good at coming up with ideas but how do I do ANYTHING NEW) but in terms of revisiting, something I give a lot of thought is the homewrecker au and just damen and laurents dynamic pre fic (like the beginning of laurent and nikandros' relationship) but idk if thats something that would interest you/anyone 🙃

anyways!!!! god bless you baby thats so sweet I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

also @ psych stats literally fuck me this class is my headache but you and me? we got this ok

[deripmaver]

4 5 6 for ALL OF THE CaPri FANFICS

LKSJMDHGVLKSJ ALL OF THEM???

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue? 5: What part was hardest to write? 6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

Ink On Paper (tongue fic) 4. lmfaoooooooo there isn't a whole lot of dialogue in this one oop-

Laurent nodded. The wax softened as he pressed his hand into it, erasing his previous message. Soft, warm, melting under his touch. He wrote again, I need someone who is not afraid to read out the insults I make towards the idiots at court. You have been fired, Damianos.

i guess it technically counts lmfao. i just wanted to show laurent post-trauma still able to make jokes and snipe at his husband so it wasnt all doom and gloom 5. i'm not sure exactly what "hardest to write" here means because like... a lot of these fic have serious gore or otherwise upsetting content, but both emotionally and actually writing wise i find that kind of thing actually pretty easy to write hahahaha. i think i got stuck with the chronology and the decision to make it non-linear made it flow a lot better. for the record writing laurent getting raped and then having his tongue cut out was actually very easy to write, i think i got it out in basically one go. #cancelme the more fucked up and intense the easier i find to nyoom through it 6. my first ever fic in the capri fandom!!!! hehehehhehehe <333333 Level Of Concern (plan B fic) 4.

Before Nicaise could say anything, Laurent spat, “Does he know you had your first heat?”

SURPRISE nic was the one who was pregnant the whole time!!!!!!! 5. this one i banged out REALLY quickly so i cant think of anything here 6. capri omegaverse!!!!!!! i wish there was more of this 🥺🥺🥺 Like Me (what if Auguste was also abused fic) 4. ******CW INCEST MENTION CW ABUSE MENTION******

“Your brother’s stuck his dick in every single member of your family,” Auguste spat out, laughing, crying, and so miserable he thought his heart would stop. His voice rose again, and he felt something burst from him as he screamed for the whole world to hear, “Did you know that? Did you, huh papa? Did he fuck you too?”

dude this line is so fucked up lmfao but i enjoyed writing it so much. actually this entire scene where auguste is having his breakdown was really intense to write and im really pleased with how it came out OR

Auguste grabbed him suddenly, looking up into his grief-stricken face desperately. “Please, Laurent,” he pleaded, voice breaking. “Please. Don’t let him end up like me.”

i felt entirely too clever with this line lmfao. i was like ~ooooohhhhh title drop~ im so dumb 5. i just remember this one like. dragged on for some time. i couldnt figure out what to do with it, how to get everything to coalesce around the final reveal about auguste 6. plot twist!!!!!!! plus auguste angst. i really enjoyed this one, i wrote it after watching the movie Spotlight which is one of my all time faves Softly, Gently 4.

“My King has been overexerting himself again, I presume?” Paschal sighed, shaking his head with a fond smile. “When have I ever done that?” Laurent cocked his head to the side, a wry smile on his face.

hehehehe sassy laurent my beloved <33333 5. honestly im just going to skip this one from now on lskjghmvlksjhglkvsjhdl i just get "stuck" sometimes without rhyme or reason and its usually on boring stuff, but then i cant remember later. the hardest part for me is when my dumb fucking adhd brain wont let me focus on writing but once i overcome that its usually pretty smooth sailing 6. horny omegaverse.................... my beloved............... giving men vaginas for horny reasons my beloved......................... Water of Life (birth fic)

“Do you want to hold him?” Erasmus breathed, eyes glassy. The baby cried, Erasmus bouncing him tenderly in those sunkissed arms. He looked apologetic. “Only for a moment, it’s not quite over yet.” A playful smile danced on Erasmus’ lips, and he brushed away a slick, damp curl from the wailing baby’s head. “A head this big, he certainly takes after Exalted.”

a cute, fun lil line in the sea of horrible angst lmfao ORRRRRR

Erasmus knelt before Damen, before Laurent. He said, “Exalted… Can you command his Highness to push?” Damen froze. “Do you mean…?” Erasmus nodded. “Alpha command.” Damen’s expression crumpled. He said, in a voice that shattered Erasmus’ heart, “I can’t. I can’t do that to him.” Erasmus licked his lips. “Exalted, in this state, he can’t push. His contractions are weaker. He’ll-” “I can’t,” Damen cried, clinging to Laurent’s limp body like a lifeline. “He’d… He’d never forgive me.”

damen is so sweet........ he loves laurent so much...... ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

He stopped at the doorframe, turning to face Laurent with tears in his eyes, and whispered, “How long does it take, your Highness?” Laurent, shocked enough to respond, hissed, “What?” “I still wake up in the middle of the night thinking of it,” Erasmus said, voice thick in his throat, tears burning at his eyes. “How long until it’s over?”

real sad hours if u up click like. i love erasmus and laurent bonding over their shared trauma <33333333333333333333 laurent and erasmus friendship propaganda 24-fucking-7 bay bee!!!!! 6. unironically this is one of my fav fic ive ever written skdljmfhgvlksjdhflmgkvjshldkjfghvmls call the midwife is one of my favorite shows and writing this made me look at birth as something visceral and possibly horrible and traumatic. i wanna write more fucked up birth scenes, SO MANY MORE. ridley scott knew what he was doing Sandalwood (erasmus/kallias my sweet boys i love u so much) 4.

“I do,” Erasmus breathes, ducking his head, flushed as though embarrassed. “In the gardens, the perfume from the orange trees all around us on those summer nights.” Kallias smiles behind him – Erasmus knows his body so intimately he can feel it in how Kallias’ posture changes, though he can’t see the soft turn of his lips. “The scent was so cloying I thought it would drive me mad. It made me want to kiss you senseless.” Erasmus laughs, breathlessly, imagining the warm heat of Kallias’ mouth against his. “Don’t blame that on the orange trees, dear one.”

beloved..................... im weeping.......... 6. these two make me fuckign CRY ON THE REG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH MY SWEET BOYS YOU DESERVE THE WORLD- Wisps of Smoke******************* (lauguste fic) 4. ***CW EXPLICIT INCEST*** (i mean....... obviously lmfao)

“Call me what I like,” Auguste growled against his ear. “You know what I like.” He did. Laurent did. He knew everything Auguste liked – the slow flick of Laurent’s tongue on the underside of his cock, that tender spot behind his earlobe, the way Laurent’s thighs looked straddled atop him like his horse – and this. “Brother,” Laurent gasped, desperate, “Brother, please, harder. Harder.”

i wanted the incest to be explicitly part of the kink here lmfaoooooo 6. hehehehehehehhehehehhehe lauguste................... i need to write more of u But I Love It (laurent is allergic to latex fic) 4.

“Laurent,” Auguste said, voice high in warning. Laurent braced himself, stiffening visibly. With what seemed to be monumental effort, Auguste continued, “You know, Laurent. I’m proud of you.”

IM A SOFT BITCH OK???????????????? auguste is PROUD of his baby bro for overcoming his sexual trauma and getting that fat dick 6. SLJHVDLMKJDHGVLK PEOPLE FUCKING LOVED THIS FIC i tried to be funny and i think it worked. plus some softe bits thrown in. i also kind of see lots of humor fic where its a no abuse au, but i wanted to write something comedic where the regent still. existed u kno????? anyways hahahahha i dont think i can write anything like this again but im glad y'all liked it Is It Cold In The Water (slice of life fic) 4.

Laurent opens his mouth to say something cheeky, but instead, what comes out is: “Do you think Aimeric had the right idea?” Damen is quiet for so long, gaze serious and framed with his long, dark lashes, that Laurent wonders if he’d spoken aloud at all – and when he’s sure he had, he realizes Damen had remembered Aimeric after all. When he speaks again, the sleep is gone from his voice. “Laurent,” Damen says carefully, as though approaching a spooked horse, “Is something wrong?”

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 soft,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 6. ruby likes this fic lskjdvhmflgksfjdhmvglkjsdhflkvgmjhlekjfhdvlgskjfhv im a SIMP- The Devil's Got Nothing On Me (AIMERIC FIC LEGGOOOO) 4. there are lots of lil nuggets in here!!!!

Aimeric blinks, and all he can think is, you knew? He says, "I – I just." "I am a patient man," Guion breathes, "I support everyone in my household. Everyone. But Aimeric, you are truly testing my patience. Your mother came to me in tears, begging me to find you. Look at what you did to her! There was nothing I could say until we found you!" "I'm sorry," Aimeric whispers, looking at Loyse, "I'm-" "Look at me," Guion roars.

this conversation was inspired by a very miserable encounter with my boss lmfao. fuck that guy and fuck guion

The regent, blue eyes sparkling - and Aimeric has never thought eyes could look just like a summer sky until now - says to Guion but really to Aimeric, "I was thinking I could take little Aimeric riding tomorrow. Just the two of us." Loyse says, before Guion can speak, voice trembling with relief, "I think that's a wonderful idea, your Highness."

~dramatic irony~ lmfaoooooooooo. WE know of course that this is a bad thing, but it's always fun to have characters make bad choices that they have no idea are bad. i also did this briefly in "Like Me" with auguste's ex wife taking nicaise to church because she was so overwhelmed at home and he offered to help. of course, the regent is always happy to help out. evil evil evil

"-was worried it might be difficult for him." A soft, lilting laugh. The guards had said the regent was in the library, and then there is Guion, right there with him. Aimeric is suddenly angry, not sure why his father is with the regent, who is his and no one else's. The regent responds, "I daresay it's been perfectly easy. It seems you've done most of the work already."

i wanted to highlight the fact that it was aimeric's neglect that lead him to the regent in the first place. hence "youve done most of the work already" - guion by ignoring and neglecting aimeric created the perfect environment for the regent to sweep in and take advantage. like leaving food out btwn 40-140 F is a perfect breeding ground for bacteria LOL. the books touch on that but i wanted to make it explicit

He is so, so ashamed. It's unbearable, the thought of her kind eyes, the way she cried for him, the way he pushed her away. Before he'd left to join the prince's guard, she had taken his hand, kissed it, and said in a voice fragile as glass, "It's been such a long time since I've seen you smile like that," but in that moment he could think only of the regent's letter warm in his pocket.

6. honestly i know ive sounded super conceited this whole time but i kind of tear up whenever i read through the end of the fic lmfao. aimeric is just so fucking depressing as a character and i love that i really got to explore that in this fic. he really didnt have anyone, did he????? he's like a tragic greek character where you just watch him stumbling towards his inevitable end and it hurts the whole time. its even worse on the reread ANYWAYYYYYYY thats it. thanks so much for the ask anon!!!!!!! feel free to send me more!!!

[sunymar]

if there was a genshin au for captive prince what visions do you think the characters would have ?

this is a very interesting question!!! honestly damen's immediately came to mind (might be even a bit unoriginal hahaha but it's how i picture it 😔) but laurent's got me thinking a lot. let's see:

damen: def pyro. this man has pyro written all over it. at the same time i think he's probably a shielder as well 🥹. and he'd probably be a claymore user too. he also probably got his vision like at age 5.

laurent: so the first thing that came to mind was cryo, of course, but at the same time i'm so weak for the concept of him being anemo...though i guess cryo makes more sense because he'd probably get his vision during/after smth traumatic haha. otherwise i like anemo or dendro for him. catalyst wielder.

auguste: he gives me geo vibes but i could also see pyro. baby laurent would be so upset when he gets his vision and it's cryo, the entirely opposite of pyro. sword user.

erasmus: a sweet hydro baby, healer, probably uses bow or a catalyst, has the cutest burst animation to ever exist

jokaste: same vision as laurent i think, whatever it is. catalyst user, probably buffs teammates as well. actually i think she might be cryo no matter what laurent is.

nikandros: hydro for those vaporize reactions for his king ❤️❤️ sword user

ancel: a pyro baby as well and polearm user, evidently.

berenger: tempted to make him dendro for that burning reaction, but i don't have any electros yet so i'll say electro catalyst???

[mfingenius]

Pets and Princes pt 2

Auguste is possibly the only one of the Veretians who feels a little sorry for him; everyone is talking about what happened at the meeting, and Damen largely suspects that it might have already reached Kastor. He doesn’t want to think about what’ll happen when he returns.

The King and Queen seem to not quite know what to do with him, Nikandros is furious, Prince Laurent won’t even look at Damen, and Lazar – Laurent's guard – grins every time he sees him. The Veretian pets also seem to know what has happened, because one of them comes up to him and, quite insolently, says:

“Pet.” Pointing at the earring on his lobe. Then points at Laurent. “Not pet.”

Damen thanks him for the clarification, but wishes someone had given it a lot sooner.

Auguste had been mad at him too, at first, but after a particular – impossibly uncomfortable – diplomatic dinner in which Damen continuously tries to speak to Laurent – and makes a fool of himself every single time – he gets a lot more sympathetic.

“Damen.” Auguste grimaces, after Damen somehow manages to make Laurent go red by calling him virginal. Damen really, really doesn’t know what’s happening to him; he knows Veretian perfectly and he’s never this much of an idiot with words. He’s not Laurent, admittedly, whose words always seem to have three different meanings, but he’s not a helpless teenager trying to woo someone for the first time either. “I am begging you to stop.”

Damen groans, burying his face in his hands. “I’m trying to – apologize, or fix this-”

“You’re making it worse,” Auguste observes and Damen glares weakly at him. “Did you not notice?”

“Of course I noticed!” Damen says hotly. So has everyone else, it seems, because if Laurent and Damen even come close, everyone stares at the scene with great interest, waiting to see how Damen might make things worse. “I’m just – I don’t know why I'm like this, I’m not trying to – anything I say somehow sounds like an insult, and I can never seem to say what I mean and if I somehow do he turns it into something else-”

Auguste grimaces again, this time sympathetic. “Yeah, that sounds like conversation attempts with Laurent.” They both look at the Prince, attempting to stay out of sight in a corner of the room, talking to Lazar, who’s grinning. “Look, when you get used to it, it’s easier. I suppose. He's never actually done it to me, but, well, I've never called him a pet.”

Damen glares at him again, and Auguste grins, slapping him on the back.

“It’ll get better,” he says. “Stop apologizing every two minutes. Stop talking to him at public events; he hates them. Give him sweets, or better yet, take him riding. Try not to call him a pet again.”

Damen blinks. “You’re - helping me?”

Auguste shrugs. “We’re friends, and Laurent has never been interested in anyone, and I think you might be – acceptable.” Damen frowns at him, and Auguste amends. “And he’s still angry at me for threatening you, so I think this might help me atone.”

“So you’re using me,” Damen says, unimpressed.

Auguste rolls his eyes. “Do you want my help or not?”

Damen desperately does.

*

Damen keeps his distance for a few days so that he won’t overwhelm Laurent. He thinks Laurent might need a chance to forget about Damen’s accidental insults before he can try to fix it again. And it gives him time to make a plan.

A Nikandros-and-Auguste approved plan.

Or something like that, because Nikandros votes for the ‘Damen-never-open-your-mouth-again-around-him-and-let's-go-back-to-Ios' plan, but Damen is obviously not going to do that, and Nikandros knows him well enough to know that, too.

“Prince Damianos.” Laurent sighs when Damen enters the library. “I’ve told you you’ve apologized enough times-”

“I’m not here to apologize,” Damen says boldly, sticking strictly to the script he and Auguste have practiced many times. “I’m here for a book.”

“A book,” Laurent repeats skeptically.

Auguste really did know what Laurent would say.

“Yes, your highness,” Damen says. “I read.”

“Do you.” Auguste has Laurent’s dry, unimpressed tone down to a science, even if it looks odd on him, which is why Damen is ready for both the tone and the words. “I wasn’t sure you could, considering nearly every document you signed already had ‘Prince Laurent of Vere’ on it.”

Damen’s cheeks warm. “Yes, well.”

Laurent cocks an eyebrow, and Damen doesn’t continue. Stick to the fucking script, Nikandros had said, when he’d accepted that Damen was going to talk to Laurent, whether or not he wanted him to. 

The script didn’t have an answer to possibly justify his actions.

“What book can you recommend?” he asks, because that is part of the script. “I do not know much of Veretian literature.”

Laurent looks at him for a moment longer, before he shrugs and stands; for a moment, Damen is convinced he’s going to leave, and he’s scrambling for something to say, but he doesn’t; instead, Laurent stands on his tiptoes to reach an old, worn tome, with fading golden letters.

“Here.” He shoves it into Damen’s hands.

Classic Veretian Fairytales

Damen looks up at Laurent, surprised; he’s flushing lightly.

“Well?” he asks. “You can leave now.”

Damen does.

*

“Oh, this is good!” Auguste says. “It’s Laurent’s favorite. If he’s willing to give it to you to read he still at least likes you a little bit!”

“Just to be clear, Prince Auguste,” Nikandros says, arching an eyebrow. “Your brother is angry at you for meddling, so you’re meddling more.”

Auguste hums. “I like to think of it as un-meddling what I meddled in.”

“It’s not,” Nikandros says.

Damen kicks him in the shin to get him to shut up; experience largely suggests he can’t talk to Laurent without Auguste’s help, so he can’t have him backing out now.

“What do I do now?” he asks. “I want him to forgive me, and I want to ask him out.”

“Okay,” Auguste says, sitting on Damen’s bed with a frown. “You’ve already tried practically groveling at his feet.” Damen tries to protest, but Nikandros snickers and nods. “And begging for forgiveness, so let’s not try that again; it’s unbecoming.”

“What has he liked in men before?” Damen asks, with a not-entirely-small spark of jealousy in his chest. “That I could implement?”

Auguste’s frown deepens. “Nothing.”

“Nothing,” Damen repeats skeptically. 

Nikandros, who’s there mostly to make sure Damen doesn’t cause another national incident, real this time, makes a face. “He must’ve liked someone. He’s of age. Has he never taken a pet? Or a slave?”

Auguste grimaces. “There are no slaves here, and don’t bring that up. Laurent hates slavery. As for pets, no. The Council has been trying to force him for months, but Laurent avoids it at every turn.”

“Maybe Queen Hennike is right,” Nikandros says. “And he has a type.”

He and Auguste look at Damen thoughtfully; Damen, never one to be self-conscious but feeling slightly unsure of himself, tries to smile.

“Unbelievably unobservant giants?” Auguste suggests. “Is that a type?”

“I am not unbelievably unobservant,” Damen argues. He cannot really argue against the ‘giant’ part.

“You thought he was my pet.”

“Are we still bringing that up?” Damen groans. “I thought we were over it.”

“We will never be over it,” Nikandros says seriously, and Damen groans again.

“Oh!” Auguste says. “I have a plan!”

*

“Riding,” Laurent repeats skeptically, looking at Damen up and down. “You enjoy riding?”

Not particularly; Damen loves his stallion, which has gotten him through many battles and even more journeys, but he doesn’t generally ride for the sake of riding. Laurent, however, seems to spend most of his time either in the library or on his horse, so Damen will do this.

“I’m certain I would enjoy it with you,” Damen says; from behind Laurent, hiding behind a bush, Auguste frantically shakes his head and Nikandros smacks his hand against his forehead. “I mean, yes. I enjoy it.”

Laurent looks at him critically. “What did you think of the book I gave you?”

He brushes his mare’s hair as he says it, seemingly uninterested, but Damen feels like there’s definitely a wrong answer.

“It was certainly interesting.” Laurent rolls his eyes, and Damen continues. “I had never realized Veretian fairytales were so different from Akielon ones.”

“How so?”

“Veretian fairytales are quite cold, in comparison.” Both Nikandros and Auguste gape at him. Then, Auguste throws his hands up in defeat, glaring at him venomously.

“Cold,” Laurent repeats; he has stopped in the middle of brushing his mare.

“Yes,” Damen says, pushing forward despite the pounding in his chest. He doesn’t know what drove him to stray from the script, but it’s too late to make up for it now. “Akielon fairytales are more romantic.”

Laurent narrows his eyes at him, and then swings up onto his horse; for a moment, Damen’s stomach sinks.

“Well?” Laurent arches his eyebrows at him. “Come on. You can tell me all about whatever it is you Akielons call romance. You’ll be wrong, but I’m willing to listen.”

“I-” Damen swallows. “Okay.”

*

“Why did you abandon the script?” is the first thing Nikandros asks the moment Damen walks through his bedroom doors, grinning like an idiot.

“It worked, didn’t it? He let me go riding with him.”

“What happened?” Auguste asks with great interest, lying on Damen’s bed. “Is he still mad at me?”

“We didn’t talk about you,” Damen says.

Auguste looks insulted. “What did you talk about, then? You have nothing in common!”

“Akielon fairytales.” Damen shrugs. “Horses. He told me about the apricot trees near the border.” He grins goofily. “Oh, and he invited me to his rooms later.”

“What?” Auguste asks, straightening abruptly. “Laurent?”

“Yes.”

“My brother?” 

“Yes.”

“Oh, it’s happening!” he cries in relief.

“What?” Nik asks.

“Well, I assume he’s intending to bed you,” Auguste says, standing from Damen’s bed and rambling. “And he’s never wanted to do that with anyone before, and I was beginning to worry-”

“Damen’s not going to bed him!” Nik says.

When Damen doesn’t say anything, both he and Auguste turn to him expectantly.

“Damen!” Nikandros exclaims. “This is a terrible idea! You cannot bed Prince Laurent!”

“I’m not trying to!” Damen defends. Nik looks relieved, before Damen continues. “I wish to court him.”

“Wait, what?” Auguste asks. “Court him? As in, real courtship? To wed?”

“Yes,” Damen says, confused. “Is that a problem?”

“Yes!” Auguste exclaims. “You can’t take Laurent away to Ios!”

“I thought you were okay with this!” Damen says.

“I thought you wanted to take him out on a few dates, I didn’t think you’d - not courtship!”

Everyone in the room is silent.

“Okay,” Nik says, slowly. “Maybe we should take a moment to – cool off. All of us.”

“Of course,” Auguste says, glaring tightly at Damen. “A moment.”

He storms out of the room.

“Well, shit,” Nik drawls. “Who ever could’ve predicted this would go wrong?”

Damen glares at him.

*

“Has something happened between you and my brother?” Laurent asks, with great interest, when Damen arrives to his rooms.

“What?” Damen asks.

“He was here before,” Laurent says nonchalantly, leaning against the pillar of his bedframe.

“What did he say?” Damen asks, mouth dry; he doesn’t think Auguste will have told Laurent about their plan – he thinks Laurent wouldn’t be talking to him now if he knew – but he knows Auguste’s opinion carries a lot of weight with Laurent; he’s seen it in the way they treat each other, heard it when Laurent talks about his brother. If Auguste truly didn’t like him, he doesn’t think he’d have a chance with Laurent.

“Nothing.” Laurent shrugs. Then, “He reminded me you keep slaves.”

Damen swallows. Don’t bring that up, Laurent hates slavery.

He wants to smack his friend.

“You don’t sound surprised,” he says.

“I knew before he told me,” Laurent says; he’s looking at him in a way Damen can’t quite discern. “Akielos is a neighboring country, I know all about it; Auguste wanted me to be his ambassador.”

“Oh?”

“Not anymore.” Laurent studies Damen. “He wants me to negotiate with Patras instead.”

Patras? Patras isn’t half as gorgeous as Akielos; in Ios, Damen could show Laurent the city, the palace, the sea; he could take Laurent riding and make sure his skin won’t burn. Laurent could wear a chiton.

“Akielos is better,” Damen says.

Laurent snorts. “Of course you think so.” He pushes himself off the pillar and pours himself a glass of water from the tray on the table at the corner of the room, offering another one to Damen. “Why is he mad at you, then? Auguste.”

Damen says, “I told him I wanted to court you.”

Laurent freezes with his glass halfway to his mouth.

He stares at Damen, who continues because he’s beginning to panic, thinking he’s said the wrong thing. “Of course, if you say no, I would not pursue the matter further, it’s - before, we were getting close, and I thought we could never develop a relationship because if I bought out your contract from Auguste I might risk war, and now - I don’t want to mess up again. If you say no, I’ll leave you alone.”

Laurent stares for a moment longer. “I'm not saying no.”

The corner of Damen’s mouth twitches upwards. “Is that a yes, then?”

Laurent’s cheeks are turning pink. “Yes.”

Damen grins.

*

Things with Auguste are tense. Of course, either Damen or Laurent can break off the courtship at any time, and this early on it’s impossible to say where it will go. Damen tries to tell him that, tries to make him see that even if everything goes well and Laurent comes to Ios with him, that will still be far off; Veretian courtship has fourteen stages, and though every couple can get through it as fast or slow as they want to, it won’t take less than a year.

It doesn’t comfort Auguste at all.

Still, he doesn’t intervene. His and Damen’s friendship is strained at the moment, but he’s civil and doesn’t say a word of it to Laurent, for which Damen is grateful; of course, he knows Laurent has noticed something’s going on between him and Auguste, but he hasn’t mentioned it, so Damen hasn’t offered an explanation.

“So, Damen.” Auguste stabs a piece of meat with his fork pointedly. Shouldn’t you have gone back to Ios by now?”

“Auguste!” Queen Hennike exclaims; she and the king are overjoyed by the announcement of Laurent’s and Damen’s courtship. Laurent had told Damen that it was because King Aleron had always considered him ‘too difficult to marry off’, and though Damen hopes he’s wrong, he cannot say that he is. 

“What?” Auguste asks, blinking innocently. “He’s a Crown Prince. He has a country to take care of.”

“I do,” Damen agrees, a little hurt by his friend’s eagerness to get rid of him. “And I’m leaving in two days.”

“Two days?” Laurent turns to him, surprised. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Damen hesitates before he focuses his gaze on Laurent; he’d really meant for this to be more private. “I - wanted to ask if you’d consider coming with me.” Auguste’s head snaps towards him, and his eyes narrow. Damen continues hesitantly. “For a few weeks. I could show you Ios, and the ocean, and-”

“Laurent doesn’t like the ocean,” Auguste interrupts, glaring at him.

“No,” Laurent says, slowly. “I’ve never seen it. I can’t know whether or not I like it.”

“You’ve never seen the ocean?” Damen is baffled; he can’t imagine having spent no time in the water that way, the waves crashing around, the near-white sand beneath his feet; it’s as close to heaven as Damen thinks it can get.

“No, and he doesn’t need to,” Auguste says defensively. “Because he’s staying here. Right, Laurent?”

“Auguste, you can’t make this choice for your brother,” queen Hennike says gently.

“He’s going,” Aleron says, looking at his son through narrowed eyes. 

“You can’t make this choice for your son, either,” Hennike says with more force.

“Laurent wants to stay here-” Auguste begins, glaring at his father, and Damen leans back; he sort of wishes he were back in Ios already.

“Laurent wants to go-”

“Or,” Laurent says, icily. “Laurent wants to make this choice for himself.” Both Auguste and Aleron turn to look at him. “And I want privacy while I do it.”

He pushes his chair back with a loud scrape and leaves the room. 

“Lau-” Auguste’s face has turned guilty, and he stands up after his brother, but the door slams. 

Damen hesitates; should he follow?

“Don’t worry, honey,” Queen Hennike says, patting the back of his hand. “He’s not mad at you.”

She glowers at her husband and son, both of whom look down at their plates.

*

When Damen opens his door to find Auguste standing in front of him, he’s more than a little surprised. He’s been avoiding Damen at all costs lately, so Damen hardly expected him to seek him out.

“Auguste,” he says awkwardly. “Come in.”

Laurent is sitting on Damen’s bed, cross-legged, and when he sees his brother his eyes narrow. Auguste smiles sheepishly. 

“Hey, Laurent,” he says.

Laurent raises an eyebrow. “Still plotting my life out for me, brother?”

“I told him about – well, everything,” Damen admits guiltily. “The planning, and the meetings, and – all of it. I’m sorry.”

He’d honestly taken it better than Damen expected; he’d seemed – amused, almost, and Damen had been greatly relieved; he hadn’t wanted Laurent to find out in some other way and then hate him, but Laurent hadn’t seemed very surprised at Damen’s confession, so he thinks he might’ve already known.

Auguste sighs and turns to Damen.

“It’s fine,” he says. “I’m here to... apologize.”

Damen shakes his head. “No, I - I'm sorry, I shouldn’t have surprised you like that-”

“It’s Laurent’s choice if he goes or not, and I have no business trying to control what he does-”

“He’s your brother, I know you’re going to miss him-”

“I will, but I know you make him happy, and you really like him, and-”

“I’m right here,” Laurent interrupts, looking disbelievingly at them; they both ignore him.

“Auguste, our friendship means a lot to me,” Damen says honestly. “I would never want you to hate me over this-”

“Damen, I could never hate you,” Auguste says, surprised. “You’re one of my best friends.”

“You’re one of my best friends, too,” Damen says, voice choked. He pulls Auguste into a fierce hug, and Auguste hugs him back tightly.

“Was that a declaration of love?” Laurent asks, lounging on Damen’s bed with great interest. “Because it sounded like one.”

Again, they ignore him, pulling away and clapping each other on the back.

“I’m glad we’re alright again,” Damen says honestly.

“Me too,” Auguste says.

“If you leave me for my brother, family dinners will become very uncomfortable,” Laurent says mildly, and finally Auguste and Damen turn to him.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Laurent.” Auguste grins. 

“Yeah, we’d run away, never to return,” Damen says.

Laurent rolls his eyes and Auguste lets go of Damen, stepping closer to his brother, smacking his leg lightly. 

“Hey,” he says. “I wanted to apologize to you, too. I know I – meddle, sometimes.”

Laurent snorts. “Sometimes?”

“A lot of the time,” Auguste amends, grinning a little. 

Laurent shakes his head.

“I don’t forgive you,” he mumbles begrudgingly. 

“Come on,” Auguste whines. “You can’t stay mad at me, I tried to fix it!”

Laurent looks at him disbelievingly. “You meddled more, how would that fix anything?”

“I was trying to un-meddle what I meddled in!” Auguste exclaims.

“Auguste, that makes no sense.”

Auguste sighs dramatically. “Fine,” he says, mock-resigned. “Don’t forgive me. But then you’re forcing me to take necessary measures.”

“What?” Damen asks, confused, because Laurent glares at his brother.

“Don’t you dare-” he begins, but is interrupted when a loud huff is forced out of him when Auguste drapes himself across him, lying there, motionless. “Get off me, Auguste, you’re heavy!”

“No, I can’t,” Auguste says, voice muffled by the sheets. “You’ve wounded me. I’m dead.”

“I’ll wound you for real,” Laurent threatens, trying to push him off. It doesn’t work.

“No, you won’t,” Auguste says. “You’ll forgive me because I’m your brother, and you love me, and I won’t get off you until you do.”

Laurent glares at him and begins pinching his sides, laughing when Auguste squirms and yelps.

“Hey, that’s cheating!” he exclaims, desperately trying to get away from Laurent’s hands.

“Is it?” Laurent asks, smirking, continuing to poke and pinch at Auguste’s sides until he falls off the bed and onto the floor with a groan.

“Treason,” Auguste tells him from the floor. “You’ve committed treason.”

Laurent looks down at him over the edge of the bed. 

“Sure.” His smile softens, and he rolls his eyes fondly. “I forgive you.”

Auguste grins. “Thank you.”

“Now get out.” Laurent waves a hand at him. 

“Why?” Auguste asks, frowning.

Laurent cocks an eyebrow. “Because I want to make out with Damen and I really don’t think you want to be here for that.”

“Oh, gross.” Auguste shudders and stands up in a panicked flail. “Disgusting, Laurent. Goodbye.”

Laurent laughs as Auguste flees from the room.

“I definitely want to be here for that,” Damen says dumbly, because the moment Laurent said ‘I want to make out with Damen’ his brain stopped working.

Laurent grins and rolls his eyes. “Do you plan to kiss me from over there?”

Damen steps closer to the bed, and when he’s within arm’s reach, Laurent grabs him by the front of his chiton and pulls him closer.

*

“It’ll only be a month, Auguste.” Laurent rolls his eyes when Auguste hugs him yet again.

“Only a month!” Auguste exclaims. “Only a month? I’ll miss your birthday!”

“We’ll celebrate it when I get back,” Laurent tells him. “I promise.”

“Fine, fine,” Auguste says, finally letting him go. “Alright. But you better come back.”

“You know I will,” Laurent says softly.

Damen steps behind him, smiling. Nikandros, next to him, is not smiling. In fact, he looks like he’s dreading the trip. 

“Are you ready?” he asks, wrapping an arm around Laurent’s waist and pressing a kiss to his temple.

Laurent nods. “Yes.”

“I’m not,” Auguste says.

Laurent snorts. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Unlikely,” Auguste disagrees. 

Damen grins and pulls his friend into a hug, which Auguste returns reluctantly. 

“Fine,” he says. “Leave. But write if anything happens.”

“Oh, I will,” Nikandros says. “Believe me. I won’t be able to stand these two alone.”

“Oh, Kyros Nikandros, I thought you were looking forward to spending time with me,” Laurent says, voice sticky sweet. He leans closer to Nik, smiling up at him and fluttering his lashes mockingly.

“Damen,” Nik says, seriously. “Keep him away from me.”

Laurent bursts out laughing.

“He’ll terrorize the palace,” Nik complains, signaling wildly at Laurent.

“Don’t worry,” Laurent says, voice full of mirth. “I’ll make sure to keep a spot open to terrorize you specifically.”

And he gets into the carriage without another word.

Nikandros glares at Damen.

“If you have no Kyros of Delpha in a month,” he says threateningly. “It’ll be your fault.”

Damen laughs.

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