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frozenhi-chews · 11 days

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Hoooookay. Since I have SO MANY ASKS in my inbox, I'm gonna answer all of em. Yeah. Because so many overlap I'm just gonna. Do that. Yeehaw. All under the cut cuz THIS IS GONNA BE VERY LONG

Take this, here we go!!

Ask game here

🍧 - If you had to put a label on your relationship with f/o, childhood sweetheart? married? tell me!

Enemies to lovers, and married. These two are freaking dorks who were obvious even before they dated

🔥- who gets jealous easier?

I would say Starlo. But that's only in the insecure "why can't I be like that, of course she likes them" way. He does get over it pretty quickly though.

💋 - if you two were a romance trope what would it be?

Enemies to oblivious gays to lovers to insufferable married couple

🎂 - how do you two celebrate each other's birthday?

Fitting how I'm answering this six days before my birthday! I actually had planned out a scenario where Pancake gets the whole town to throw a surprise party for Starlo. Stars obviously tries to do the same thing, just in a different way. And it works. Hehe.

Also Starlo gives Pancake a LOT of gifts

🧊 - who sings in the shower?

STARLO. Pancake does too, but she's not as LOUD as Starlo. Pancake knows he's taking a shower, not because the water is on, but because she can hear "LIIIIFE IS A HAAAIIIWAAAAYYYY, IM GONNA DRIVE IT ALLLLL NIIIIGHT LOOOONG!!" from halfway across the house

🔮 - who is more protective?

PANCAKE. Starlo is also pretty protective, but HOO MAN that title goes to Pancake. She's half Terrorvant (an alien species I made up), and they're insanely and aggressively protective of their loved ones. It's like a guard dog situation. It's literally etched into her blood to be protective. If someone even tries to hurt or kill Starlo, or any of her other friends, she will make sure that death is a mercy to the perpetrator. You Do Not Make Pancake Mad. Ever.

🩰 - who is the better dancer?

Pancake is better at dancing on her own, Starlo is better at couple dancing. And he loves to dance with her. Heck it's a chance to teach her, and he loves seeing her flustered face

🎈 - what is your most precious memory with them?

Probably playing UTY for the first time and seeing him for the first time in game. Hooo he's awesome.

🐇 - what kind of pet do you think you could raise together with them?

Cat. Horse maybe. But definitely a cat. Pancake finds a black and white spotted cat, Starlo is REFUSING to look after said cat. And later he's seen napping with Moo on his chest!

💍 - what is their view on marriage?

They both wanted to get married. Pancake has had several failed relationships, but still wants a partner. And Starlo wants a family of his own, despite his heartbreak. It's also that his mom REALLY wants him to get married, and thats a bit of pressure on him. Still, he wants that

🎀 -do you have any matching clothes with them? If so, what does it look like?

YES!! The same matching PJ set. Starlo saw Pancake changing PJs cuz she got too hot with him under the covers, and he's a clinger too. So he bought them matching star PJs

🧸 - favourite gifts from each other?

For Pancake, it's the locket Starlo gave her before they started dating. For Starlo, it's any plush she wins him at an arcade or carnival game

🌱 - how do you make up with each other after an argument?

Mostly by talking, or letting each other process it for a bit. They'll eventually talk it out. Sometimes it just takes longer

🩹 - if you or your f/o got hurts, how would the other react?

Refer back to Pancake being PISSED if you hurt Starlo. She will Not Be Happy, and will probably make herself look like the worse person just to get you to back off from hurting Starlo. If Starlo walked up to her injured, instead of her catching someone hurting him, she'll patch him up calmly and then ask for names. He can't tell her cuz their names will be in the newspaper the next day. Somehow

Starlo would also be pissed. Not as much as Pancake, but he will defend her and bite back. Yeah don't make him mad either. He's not too much of a genuine fighter, but he does have training from Pancake

❄️ - how would you spend Christmas with them?

Cozy, warm, with LOTS of gifts, most from Starlo. Probably with his family too. Eventually it'll be cozy and warm back at home, watching the snow fall with gifts around them and a warm fire in the fireplace. Just cozy

🎃 - what is your Halloween costume? Do they match with your f/o?

Irl? It's a TV head cosplay. I feel like he would also wear a TV head to match. And to try something different, other than Westerns

🌠 - if you or your f/o could make one wish come true, what would it be?

For Pancake, it'd be so Starlo can see the actual stars on the surface. And to be with him forever. For Starlo, it's to see his child Clover again

📷 - do you have any photos of your f/o? do you use it as your wallpaper?

I actually have a Starlo wallpaper. Someone got some fanarts and edited them into a wallpaper. And it's been like that for months. And I have over 1400 images of him saved onto my phone-

🫕 - camping together seems fun, who cooks and who set up the tent?

Starlo cooks, Pancake sets up the tent

🍝 - do you two share your foods with each other? have you try feeding them yourself?

Yes, Pancake's made pancakes for Starlo. And yes they occasionally feed each other

🔪 - if they were a yandere, would you still love them?

I don't like yanderes. And being a yandere is completely out of character for him. (I've seen some yan!starlo stuff. It's so freakishly out of character like WHYYYY)

💄- what nicknames or pet names do you two use for each other?

A-HA!! TRAP CARD ACTIVATED!! Though people already know these, teehee.

Starlo's nicknames for Pancake: Honeybee, Wildflower, Moon Pie, Darlin, Sugar Cube, Hon, Stardust

Pancake's nicknames for Starlo: Stars, Starshine, Rattlesnake, Lemon Cookie, sugar bun

💎 - if you and your f/o were in a fake relationship/marriage, who do you think would lose at falling in love first?

Starlo probably. He just that connection alright?

🍿 - your perception of them and their perception of you?

Pancake's perception: he's kind, loving, sweet, has the biggest and kindest heart of gold. He gets excited extremely easy. He has a lot of weight on his shoulders, and I wanna help him take that load off. I want to see him genuinely smile more.

Starlo's perception of Pancake: She's a shortstack with strength that could easily bend and snap him in half, and that makes her all the more terrifying and hot for it. She's a kind soul as well, gentle and tries to be friends with everyone. Is a little headstrong. Gets things done ahead of time when they need to be. Over enthusiastic sometimes, but that's the way he likes her. She's genuinely sweet. And should see herself in a higher light than she does. He sees her in a very high light, probably higher than she ever will. And that makes him sad. But, she's happiest when she's around him, and he loves that

🌹- if the roles were reversed, your f/o selfship themselves with you, would you two still be obsessed with each other as usual or stronger?

Yes. I've felt it. He definitely would be. THE YEARNING MAN. THE YEARNING-

🍒 - what would your contact names be for each other?

Pancake's would be something silly like "beef" (for boyfriend) or "starboy" or "stars <3"

Starlo's would be something like "Light of my life" or a star/cowboy themed thing

🏷 - what is you and your f/o's ship name? how did you decide on that name?

They actually have two!! Rotten Star and Starcake!!

Rotten Star came from their personas' names. Starlo's being North Star and Pancake's being Rotten Jack. It's essentially their rivalry ship name, back when they were enemies. Hue

Starcake is just their names mashed together. Starlo and Pancake. And yet it's so cute and perfect and aesthetically pleasing!! I love it!!

⏳️ - if you or your f/o travel back in time, is there anything that you want to change in your relationship? maybe some regrets for your actions towards the other in the past?

Maybe stopping the rivalry? Dunno.

And thats it! If any of yall read all of this, here's a cookie 🍪 and I love ya /p

You're amazing!!

#PLEASE have this post. i better not have hit that limit #id be SO MAD #self ship stuff #the cake doth speak #cake asks #starcake #rotten star #🌵💫#fun fact: i listened to the binding of isaac ost while typing this

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the-unrelated-theorist · 4 months

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Noble Vs. Ignoble Bosses

Please note that I am only referencing UTY to highlight my train of thought. I am NOT trying to suggest any connections between UTY and UTDR.

I try not to draw too heavily from AU's, but I noticed a pattern in UTY that made me realize something about UTDR. So, in UTY, almost all of the bosses become op simply to defend their own pride:

Decibat fights us to shut us up so he can go back to sleep. We don't even meet him in Genocide.

Dalv has some hidden power that we never see- he says at the end of a Pacifist that he "held back," which would make us think he would be difficult in Genocide, but he's not. He just assumes he's imagining us and the whole battle plays out exactly the same as in Pacifist.

El Bailador isn't even trying to fight, he just wants to dance, and we get hurt in the process. He doesn't appear in Genocide; presumably, he fled with the other monsters.

The Feisty Four only attack in Pacifist/Neutral because they're mad at Star and taking it out on you. We never even see them in Geno.

Starlo is difficult in Pacifist because he's defending his wounded ego, he's mad at himself but taking it out on you, but we don't even get a real battle in Genocide.

Axis is always following the instructions programmed into him by a monster with a deep-seated hatred of humans.

Ceroba is ridiculously hard in Pacifist because she loathes herself and is taking it out on you, but doesn't even get a proper second phase in Geno.

In all of these cases, the only one they are protecting in Pacifist is themselves (except Axis, who is strictly following programming). When it comes down to facing a Genocidal murderer, they just can't muster enough fighting spirit to do much of anything. Heck, Ceroba is only difficult in Geno because of revenge and pure rage. She says she's protecting monsters from us, but the only real reason she's fighting is because she's pissed at us for killing Starlo.

And... we actually see a similar pattern in UTDR:

Toriel fights us under the pretense of "protecting" us (which never made much sense to me, tbh), and she can muster almost no fighting spirit. It's very difficult to force her to kill you. And we one-hit her in Geno, she does no damage, she has no defense.

Maddie is semi-difficult in Pacifist/Neutral because they claim to be taking revenge for their cousin, but she can't even remember their name, and she flees as soon as Blookie starts crying on her. In Geno, Maddie stops caring about their cousin as soon as they merge with their dummy and become Gladdie. We don't even get a proper Maddie fight in Geno.

Muffet is semi-difficult even after a couple of playthrus, and what's her reasoning? Partly to save the spiders, but her motivation is mostly money- she was paid to kill us. She doesn't give a fig about other monsters at all, just spiders. We don't even encounter Muffet in Geno.

Mettaton. What's his reason for fighting us in Pacifist/Neutral? Purely selfish: he wants to be the star, not just in the Underground, but on the surface. Killing us and giving our SOUL to Asgore is just his way of accomplishing that. He doesn't give up until: a) we blow his arms and legs off so that he can't be much of a star at all anymore; and b) he gets a call from Blookie. Remembering what actually matters in life is what makes him end the fight. And in Geno, MTT becomes a literal one-hit wonder. When he has to fight to try to SAVE the world, he just isn't cut out for the job.

Asgore. Yeah, he puts up a fight in Neutral. He doesn't want to, tho. He's tired of fighting. He's tired of killing. He doesn't really want to go to war against humanity on the surface. So we can beat him. And in Geno? Where tf was he when his entire kingdom was being decimated??? We get to the throne room and he just offers us tea!

Flowey/Asriel, doesn't matter what name he goes by, every time we fight him, he's trying to defend his position as a wannabe god and keep playing with Chara forever. He fights because he has nothing left in the world to live for. He fights because that's the only thing he can still feel, the rage and the joy of killing. As soon as we remove that feeling from Asriel, he becomes a child's ghost, and then back to a flower, but a helpless and innocent one that can't fight at all anymore.

Lancer's first battle is the only time he poses any kind of a threat, because he's fighting for the right to become "son of the month." (And even I haven't ever died to him.) He's really not a threat in the fight against him and Susie, and he starts missing in the battle between him and Susie. He was never really out to hurt us at all.

Clover isn't too difficult because she's basically just fighting with herself and we got in the middle of it.

K. Round is never a threat, either, because they never wanted to fight, they were forced into it.

Susie (when we fight her alongside Lancer) is about as difficult as one would expect by the time the fight happens. She's fighting to maintain her persona as a bully and a bad person. In all actuality, tho... she's not as tough as we would expect from someone who keeps threatening to bite people's faces off.

Jevil is clinically insane, fighting and killing for the sheer fun of it, and is crazy hard.

Spade King is difficult, and his motivation is purely selfish. He doesn't care about his people- I mean, he wanted to throw his own son off a 5-story roof! He only cares about the Knight that put him into power, about maintaining that power status, and about revenge against the Lightners that sealed him away and never returned. His difficulty in battle is fueled by rage, revenge, and a lust for power.

Sweet Cap'n Cakes claim to be on a crusade, but they really only seem to be interested in having fun and making music without restrictions. Their battle is only difficult because all three of them attack at pretty much the same time and cannot be killed. Getting all of them to dance at the same time ends the battle. Their shop in the city disappears completely in a Snowgrave.

Rouxls is... um, can we even call that a battle? You know what, let's just not even try to analyze him right now....

Spamton. His only reason for fighting, in either Normal or Snowgrave, is to become a [[BIG SHOT]]. And we know how difficult Spammy is. In reality, he's no harder in Snowgrave than in a Normal Route. It just seems harder because there's only one hero character to fight him with.

There are only 3 characters between UTY and UTDR that are more difficult in a No Mercy route than in a Normal route:

Martlet is the last boss that is highly unlikely to kill you at all in Pacifist/Neutral. She turns into sans of UTY in a Geno- and that's her second battle. She's pretty OP when we encounter her in Snowdin, too.

Undyne is difficult enough in Pacifist/Neutral, but we have the option to flee. Her reasoning is that, since she is the Captain of the Royal Guard and Monsterkind's Hero, it is her duty to take our SOUL. But in Genocide, she changes completely. Her Determination, which causes her to melt in a Neutral, suddenly gives her the power to completely transform into a god-like character. And why? Because she is the only thing that stands between us and the world. Because she can see that we aren't just a human- we're some kind of demon that will destroy everything. She's not just fighting for monsters, but for humans, as well.

sans fights us for the same reason, albeit far too late to save the monsters. But he realizes that we will tear down the rest of the world if we keep going, and something inside him decides that he can't allow that. We actually don't know why he suddenly decides to care so much, but he does. He uses every ability he has, from karma, to Gaster blasters, to bone attacks, to teleportation, to even sleeping, just to make us quit. Because he knows we'll kill Asgore. And then there will be nothing to keep us from destroying the rest of the world. We NEVER fight sans in a Pacifist/Neutral, only in Geno. So this weird little guy with only 1 HP left to his name stands up to us, knowing full well that one day we will kill him, but he is literally the ONLY thing left to stop us from destroying the entire world. He may be too late, but when he finally steps up, it's for the right reason. There is no more selfishness in his battle than there is in Undyne's. Both sans and Undyne have no interest in personal gain or glory, but in saving the world.

And then there are 3 anomalies, all of them in UTDR:

Berdly is, to my knowledge, the only character to be no more and no less difficult in Snowgrave than in Normal. (Well, maybe a little easier in Snowgrave, but that's just because of Noelle's spells, not because Berdly himself changed.) He puts up the best fight that he possibly can, no matter whether he is protecting himself, or trying to save Noelle. This, to me, suggests 2 possibilities: a) he cares just as much about Noelle as he does about himself; or b) he really was fighting for Noelle in both routes. I don't think the second option is entirely true, since in a Normal fight, he does "hit [Noelle] in the face with a tornado," and talks more about himself and how superior he is to everyone else than he does about Noelle. But even so, I think she always was a big part of his reason for fighting.

Queen is the only character to have a difficult battle (with multiple phases, no less) in a Normal Route, and no battle at all in Genocide, who is not doing it for purely selfish reasons. Granted, it seems likely that she would want to preserve her comfortable, regal lifestyle, but not only does she never cite this as a reason for fighting, she doesn't even balk at having to leave her mansion and move into Ralsei's castle. The only reason she ever gives for fighting is trying to help the Lightners (the exact opposite of her ex-husband).

I say this all the time: Papyrus CANNOT kill you. Not without the player seriously breaking the game. And as I understand, at Undertale's initial release, he could kill you, accidentally, if certain conditions were met; but this happened very rarely and has since been entirely patched out. So. For all intents and purposes, he CANNOT kill you. So the fact that there is no real Papyrus battle in Genocide is kind of a moot point, since he was never going to kill you, anyway. And, as many people have pointed out, Papyrus should be able to kill you, probably even one-hit you no matter your LV, in a Pacifist/Neutral route. But he breaks the game to make sure that doesn't ever happen, whether by lowering his own stats, moving the final large bone in his "really cool regular attack," etc.

Anyway. I said all this just to make some points about the characters: that most of them pretty well parallel real life. Truth is, most people don't give their all for the right reasons. Most people do only fight to protect themselves and their egos, and not to protect others.

#undertale #deltarune #undertale yellow #my analysis #normal route #snowgrave #pacifist route #neutral route #genocide route #pretty much every character in utdr and uty i'm not tagging them all fuggedaboutit

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warningsine · 5 months

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Now that we’ve gotten to the end of Girls5eva season three, there’s just 6 much we’ve seen the girl group sing about: the hotness of boys in space, UTIs, knee surgery. But in the quest to be famous 5eva, one song has to be No. 1. Using a highly scientific process known as “listening to my own taste,” I ranked the output of Girls5eva thus far, focusing both on whether the songs are good as stand-alone songs and whether they are actually funny. For the sake of clarity, I stuck to the music available on the show’s official cast recordings, which does leave off several gems we only hear for a few seconds onscreen. (Why didn’t we get a studio version of Dawn’s song where she uses every possible definition of the word “set”? This is a question I can only yell fruitlessly at the screen and hope for a response.) Until then, we will make do with this list of the excellent Girls5eva material that is available on a music-streaming service near you.

32) “U Ready?” A filler song that is itself a joke about filler songs, you have to admire the number of ways the Girls5eva writers have the group stall for time. The delivery is very funny, and we get all the girls (including Ashley Park) doing their best ready-for-MTV voices to confirm they are, indeed, “in the house” and “ready.” However, the concept is better as an elaborate joke than a song, per se. Best line: “If you’re ready, could you say ‘ready’? Because you could be ‘in the house’ and not ‘ready.’”

31) “Home Alone Doorknob” This is barely a song, but man, it’s a funny metaphor for what happens to your clitoris when you get horny. Best line: “It’s gonna get sexy, so watch out, Joe Pesci!”

30) “The Splingee” Another exercise in specific girl-group humor, Girls5eva describes how to do a “dope” dance move that is supposedly taking the world by storm. It involves whipping your hair, doing figure eights with your waist, blinking with two eyes, and getting all shy like you want to cry. The instructions end with the note that “the only thing left to do is repeat it two more times to make one complete splingee.” Honestly, it sounds like a home workout I should try. Best line: “Grind up on a ghost, then shake it out.”

29) “Who U Know” A solo performance by Jeremiah Craft’s Lil Stinker (who later gets canceled and rebrands as a country act), this is a send-up of name-dropping rap singles, with Stinker just listing everyone he knows, from his mom to his friend’s mom to Alfre Woodard. Best line: “From Zendaya to Zen-die-a!”

28) “No Strings” Gloria spends season three trying to hook up with every type of woman, but realizes that she’s a romantic after all. Here, she’s trying to embrace a no-strings-attached dynamic through a nonsensical folk tune that’s about a couple chasing the moon in an airplane powered by love. Best line: “A morning that never came until the coroner said to the wizard ‘time of death,’ the same.”

27) “Line Up” ”This is the song that launches Girls5eva’s comeback, since Lil Stinker samples “Famous 5eva” on it. We’ll get to their original hit later on, but the Stinker side of it is pretty generic as a placeholder for the kind of song that might sample something from the early 2000s. Best line: “I know you wanna light up, forever 5eva enough.”

26) “Thinking About Myself” One of Dawn’s stabs at songwriting early in season two, this is a fairly direct ballad about self-involvement. It does have some great zealous grandstanding vocals from Renée Elise Goldsberry, though. Best line: “Crying harder than anyone at a funeral for a great-uncle I barely knew.”

25) “Space Boys” In the chronicles of Girls5eva’s adventures in dating, here we have them going on an interstellar boy-kissing mission. Sadly they don’t have a TARS to keep them company, but after checking every planet they can (including “the stars”) they find some space boys (“more exotic than a waiter from France!”). On the show, the song accompanies some flashbacks to a young Gloria trying to avoid making out with actual boys, but solely as music, it’s just a low-key sci-fi jam. Best line: “We found a planet full of girls, but we left!”

24) “Later” An empowerment song in the genre of “Brave,” sung of course by Sara Bareilles, but about procrastination. The drum and piano orchestrations are so inspiring it’s easy to ignore that the message is that you really don’t need to do anything right now. Best line: “Now’s the not the right time, let’s aim for next year when we’ll have no fear, maybe by then the problems got solved by themselves all on their own.”

23) “Boyz Next Door (Puber-Dude)” To match the queasy sexualization of the Girls5eva, this number offers up the chance to objectify the just-recently pubescent members of Boyz Next Door, who have become the “hottest boys in the cul-de-sac” with a “Backstreet’s Back”–style anthem of their own. Who could resist their thin little mustaches, awkward growth spurts, and bland conversation? Best line: “Floppy hair, greasy brow, Adam’s apple going pow-pow-pow.”

22) “Sweet’N Low Daddy” Another vault track: In season three, the adult members of Girls5eva are pretty embarrassed by the message of their old hit about the benefits of dating an older man, but man, it’s pretty catchy, so you can understand why Cat Cohen’s character took it as gospel. Their ideal daddy has parents you never need to meet because they died during Nixon, and, of course, the song ends with the crucial question: “Real talk, when are you going to die?” Best line: “Don’t need to graduate, because we’re elder bait!”

21) “Can’t Wait 2 Wait” Back in the day, Busy Phillips’s Summer and Andrew Rannells’s Kev collabed on this break-out Christian-pop single about the joys of not having sex yet. Its fun hook and a peppy atmosphere bely the sheer grossness of the overall message. Best line: “Premarital urges aren’t itches to be scratched, so look up medical oddities until those feelings pass.”

20) “Daughter Hero” Renée Elise Goldsberry gets to do a groovy ’90s ballad with Wickie in celebration of her own generosity to her mother, never mind the fact that she comes from a solidly upper-middle-class family. She buys her mom a house, a house that’s significantly less nice than the one she already has! Best line: “Daughter hero, like if Jesus had a sister!”

19) “New York City Moms” An obvious sequel to “New York Lonely Boy” (more on that below), this song brings on Ingrid Michaelson(!) to perform an ode to the women of the city who have chosen to wait to have kids. A celebration of the moms who have “bumps poking out of Eileen Fisher” and are “judged by their husband’s out-of-town sister,” the Girls5eva writers can riff endlessly on very niche New York micro-communities, and bless them for that. Best line: “Spent their 20s in a disco, still younger than moms in San Francisco.”

18) “Summer Brings the Fall” Kev’s best attempt at a torch song involves an increasingly convoluted series of attempts at wordplay that I can’t help but respect. It starts out with “thought you were for ev, thought you were for Kev, you were like whatev, now I pray to heav … for strength” and just gets more forced from there. Best line: “Thought I was your male, cause you’re my holy grail.”

17) “Is There a Me?” Season three brought Busy Philipps a short but sweet bit of soul-searching in which Summer questions if she has any identity of her own, or if her personality has just been a series of attempts to please guys. Points for Philipps showing off some vocal training, deductions for the amount of Netflix cross-marketing involved. Best line: “Do I even like The Witcher, or is it just to please a mister? And what is The Witcher? I watched 40 minutes and I’m still not sure!”

16) “Inside My Sweater” Girls5eva’s music industry gets awfully specific with its parody of a Harry Styles–type sensitive boy hounded by mobs of fans named Gray Holland, played by Gossip Girl alum Thomas Doherty (he also played a similar role on the late, lamented High Fidelity Hulu reboot). As far as sound-alikes go, this Harry–slash–Shawn Mendes low-key bob is eerily accurate but also somehow a successful earworm, especially in the way Doherty refuses to ever pronounce the “r” in “sweater.” Best line: “Come dance and cook and make sweet love with me, inside my sweater!”

15) “Welcome to Now” Doherty’s soft-boy star Gray Holland returns, against his own will, in a pop hit constructed by his label “because Clause 46B, Paragraph Q of the artist’s contract grants the company use of postmortem generative voice cloning.” It’s the funnier of the two Gray Holland songs, and the beat’s so sensual you may miss that it quickly becomes an ad for the deals available at Best Buy. Best line: “Best Buy, Best Buy, Gray Holland loves Best Buy. Tablets, projectors, and more. You’re the best, bye!”

14) “Larry’s Song” The girls get their Taylor’s Version moment with this kiss off to their former manager that references many of the show’s recurring jokes about the indignities of early aughts fame, including him promising a steak knife to whoever seduces Carson Daly. The twist by the end is that they’ve finally gotten some financial and personal control, and thus, “everything we do belongs to us.” Best line: “Only let us eat crab, cause you can’t get fat from food that’s so damn hard to get at.”

13) “At the Beep” No, you’re tearing up thinking about a fictional character who died in an infinity-pool accident. In this episode, Gloria finally gives up on her conspiracy theories about Ashley’s death and accepts that she might really be gone. (I do wonder if Ashley Park would’ve been available for a longer run in season two if Emily in Paris hadn’t gotten so big.) This results in a somber number where girls say good-bye to Ashley through her still-active (because Gloria has been paying) answering-machine service. Best line: “It should have been me.” “I did a lot of cocaine, so much cocaine.”

12) “Get It Off Your Chest” In a moment of confession and healing in season three, the women of Girls5eva share their darker secrets with each other and their audience. The result is a series of tightly written jokes from the show’s writing staff: Wickie only likes people who “like me,” “but be careful, if you like me too much, it has the opposite effect and I find you desperate,” Gloria doesn’t trust stand-up comics who are too in shape, Summer hasn’t listened to a voice-mail since 2015, and finally, Dawn delivers my favorite … Best line: “Every year when my son’s school sends out the class list with parents’ names, the first thing I do is Google them to see what they paid for their apartments.”

11) “Momentum” Starting off season two, the girls have got momentum, yeah, um, it’s their moment (bless you, Jeff Richmond) with a song that’s relatively straightforward within the Girls5eva canon but is also a solid earworm. I have to respect that groovy baseline, too. Best line: “Unstoppable, this unst-unst ain’t toppable.”

10) “Tap Into Your (Fort) Worth” A canny marketing move: The girls of 5Eva plot a way to secure a captive audience by writing a song about an American city nobody else has written a song about. The result is a clever ode to Dallas’s overlooked sister, declaring that “cow town is a wild town with a walkable downtown” and trumpeting the fact that the Trinity River is, in some places, now actually swimmable. It’s enough to make you want to consider booking a flight to DFW, maybe just as a connection, but still. Best line: “Some say Omaha Zoo is second-best, but that’s a lie because their red panda is always inside. It’s never out on the tree, yeah!”

9) “I’m Afraid (Dawn’s Song of Fears)” Sometimes you just have to let Sara Bareilles loose with a piano and sing like she’s performing “Gravity.” Here, Dawn’s attempt to write a song on her own ends with her just listing things she’s afraid of, from the fact that she might thrive under Scientology to her fear that she’ll text a pic of her vagina to her dad. There’s something very funny to me about the way Bareilles says “my hummus is fungus” and I have to own that. Best line: “I’m afraid that the second I leave town I’ll get a UTI. Why can’t they sell those pills over the counter? I don’t need a doctor, I know exactly what it is.”

8) “Yesternights” Finally, a full taste of Wickie’s solo album, a work absolutely choked by melisma and sung impeccably by Renée Elise Goldsberry. It’s, as she sings, “gorgeous and sensual” and also “life fancy,” and also “dancing, yearning.” You could probably slip it on a sex playlist and nobody would notice, and frankly, we need an eight-minute version. Best line: “But tonight, there is no night or tomorrow night / Or any future night / ’Cause you’re only in my yesternight of nights.”

7) “The Medium Time” Sara Bareilles wrote the Girls5eva’s season-three finale hit song, which is about being inspired not to aim for immense fame, but a reasonable, medium level of attention. Bareilles is so good at selling the earnest, heartfelt feeling behind the song that you may forget that the wise man who told her this advice, in the universe of the show, was actually Richard Kind. Best line: “The middle is the riddle of it all, and the medium time is just fine for now.”

6) “Dream Girlfriends” The satire of Girls5eva cuts deepest here, in this song from their original run about all the ways they’d be willing to debase themselves to appeal to men. The list includes the fact that their dads are dead, that their moms are overtired so there’ll be no pushback, that they want to watch you play darts and love watching stand-up (but not by women). “Dream Girlfriends” cuts both ways, managing to make the men it’s supposed to appeal to sound pathetic as well. The girls are short so they don’t know you’re bald! Best line: “Tell me again why Tarantino’s a genius.”

5) “Bend Not Break” Near the end of season two, the women of Girls5eva realize their best song is actually about Gloria’s knee surgery. Metaphorically, it’s really about how they have to learn to compromise and acknowledge each other’s weaknesses to support their success, but there is also literally a joke about how she uses a cane. Anyway, it’s got a groove that’s hard to shake and does really make you want to dance (carefully, in a way that doesn’t risk further knee injury). Best line: “We got our secret weapon already, and it’s got eight legs, four smiles, and a cane.”

4) “Famous 5eva” Perhaps the best theme song in the vast universe of television today, here Girls5eva embraces the joys of counting by promising they’ll be famous 5eva — ’cuz 4eva’s too short. Those synths have an addictive crunch, and there’s something about the way they describe the series of cars they’re driving in (first a Lexus, then a Mercedes and then a Maserati) that’s gleefully ridiculous. The show has to make you believe the girls really are talented, and that there’s something joyful about watching them perform. This does both. Best line: “We’re Girls5eva, could we get a high SIX?”

3) “B.P.E.” Put your hands together for a “We Are the Champions”–style celebration of big pussy energy. Girl5eva’s absurdist answer to “WAP” celebrates their “Vitamin P” with some gospel-choir-esque harmonies. And the remix, which outdoes the original, adds in some church bells to heighten the energy. It will make you tap into whatever B.P.E. you have of your own. Best line: “Square feet, I’m going for miles, upgrade, taking up the aisles, open up those classified files from the Department of Treasury.”

2) “New York Lonely Boy” The best of the Girls5eva songs in terms of straight joke-writing, “New York Lonely Boy” applies a Simon and Garfunkel sensibility to the tales of hyperarticulate soft boys who know too much about mixing plaids and the dangers of restaurants on the corner (they just try too hard). Its comedy is sort of tangential from Girls5eva’s overall focus on the music industry, but it’s so perfectly realized that it doesn’t matter. Any show that can deliver such a specific encapsulation of a type — to the extent that I now think of various former St. Anne’s students who’ve became indie celebrities (okay, just Lucas Hedges) as New York Lonely Boys — deserves to run forever. Best line: “His playground is the lobby, has a palate for wasabi.”

1) “Four Stars” If “Famous 5eva” had to establish Girls5eva as it was, then “Four Stars” has to do the work of making you believe the second iteration of the group has come into its own. It does this delightfully well, with an anthem about embracing your imperfections that includes plenty of tossed-off jokes from each of the band members. (I’m particularly fond of “women are an ocean of secrets!”) Plus there’s something great about the harmonies of everyone singing “four stars” together. I have put this on exercise playlists, and it works! Best line: “The best things in life are free, that’s why rich people never carry wallets.”

#girls5eva

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obsessedwithtoomanythings · 1 year

Text

The Terrifying Ordeal of Falling in Love with Leon Kennedy

CHAPTER 9

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x Reader (female reader)

Series Warnings: Minor injuries, Leon teases reader a lot, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Drinking, Drinking followed by driving, DO NOT DO THAT THIS IS FICTION, Anxiety, Leon S. Kennedy has PTSD, Leon has an anxiety attack, Anxiety Attacks, Swearing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nightmares, Leon S. Kennedy has Nightmares, Cuddling & Snuggling, Probably incorrect medical talk, Strangulation in one tiny little scene, Reader's brother was a cop who was KIA, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Grief/Mourning, Christmas Fluff, Mistletoe, Fluff and Smut, Eventual Smut, Arguing, Love Confessions, Looking for Alaska is mentioned, Inconvenient Love Confessions, Penis In Vagina Sex, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Oral Sex, Cunnilingus, Leon loves eating Pussy change my mind, Shower Makeout, romantic smut, Desperate Leon S. Kennedy, They are both desperate for each other tbh, They say I love you as they come, Scar Kissing, Enthusiastic Consent, Always pee after sex, UTI PREVENTION, POV First Person, No use of Y/N

Words: 2.2K

Masterlist

July 2004

Every little thing she does is magic

Everything she do just turns me on

Even if my life before was tragic

Now I know my love for her goes on

-Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic, The Police

The tin of the light music in the background makes me smile, but Natalie’s god awful singing and her attempt at dancing while 7 months pregnant? Now that makes me laugh. And not just any laugh. A full, abdomen hurting, cheeks pinching howl that brings tears to my eyes.

“Love, you’re going to hurt yourself,” James calls from the couch, hands folded over his waist as he watches his wife with stars in his eyes.

“No I won’t, you big baby!” She yelps, hands finding mine to spin me around in a giggle filled twirl, her bright emerald eyes swirling with the childish energy she carried with her into adulthood. Her cocoa colored hair was tied up 10 minutes ago, but now the strands fall out, flyaways sprouting from every direction.

“Did you want to play rummy, Nat?” James suggests, standing from the couch to tower over the both of us, frame not quite as muscular as Leon, but definitely enough that he could throw two women of our size around easily. She squeals happily rushing to the dining table as quickly as her little waddle will allow, resounding laughs coming from James and I as we follow her. James’ caramel locks flow back, especially more so as he runs his fingers through it, and he smiles at his wife still dancing lightly to the quiet music as he adjusts his glasses on his nose, sitting down and shuffling the deck. The scent of the soup in the crockpot wafting toward us.

“Okay, I swear, I need you at my house every single day to cook cause that shit smells delicious,” she practically moans the words, leaning back in her chair with her hands resting on the table. James starts throwing cards down, dealing us all the cards we need before Natalie gets too carried away with her antics. Three rounds pass, muttered ‘fuck you’s and ‘damnit’s flying around like birds in the sky. James starts dealing cards once more, hitting 7 cards in each pile when I hear the lock click, immediately pulling my attention, confusing Natalie and James for a brief moment. The door opens.

“Leon!” I shout, launching out of my chair toward him. He drops his duffel bag to the ground, completely adjusted to the excited greeting he gets whenever he gets home - if I’m awake, that is. Leon opens his arms, welcoming the hug by wrapping forearms around my waist. It’s hard not to smile and release a tiny snort at my feet being lifted off the ground.

“Hey you.” He sounds drained as he sets me back down, soles landing back on the hardwood floors. I quickly give him a once over, not noticing any outstanding injuries besides a small bruise on the left side of his jaw. “I’m good. Just tired.”

“Hi!” Natalie shouts, standing herself with a huge grin that screams ‘who’s the hunk and why is he in your apartment?’, the sound finally catching Leon’s attention, and he slowly removes his hands from my waist, almost as if he’s self-conscious. I then notice James’ confused glare. That may be why he pulled away.

“Hi, sorry I didn’t realize you had friends over,” he utters, glancing back at me before keeping his eyes trained on James and Natalie.

“I didn’t know you were gonna be home tonight, otherwise I would have planned for them to come another night.”

“To be fair, I didn’t know I was gonna be home tonight.” Natalie clears her throat dramatically and I shoot her an irritated glance.

“So are we gonna get an introduction or…?” She giggles, dopey grin still plastered on her face. I hesitate before speaking, talking to Leon now.

“Are you up for some intros, or do you need some time?”

“I can meet some of your friends, then I really need to-”

“Take your post-mission shower?” I tease and he rolls his eyes in response.

“Hi, I’m Leon.” His hand comes up, offering it to Natalie which she takes surprisingly calm, given her usual excitement. Despite being a chaotic jumble of limbs most of the time, I’m grateful that Natalie can read a room, sensing the man’s energy levels and acting accordingly.

“This is Natalie, my little sister,” I explain and watch as Leon’s eyes light up with recognition.

“Ah, sorry. You look different than the picture we have up.” He gestures to it with his arm. She chuckles.

“It may be my hair,” she suggests sarcastically, hands landing on her baby bump.

“Well, sweetheart, I think I figured out where you learned your sass.” The comment isn’t lost on me and I place a smack against his arm. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice James’ eyes narrow, particularly on the ‘sweetheart’ before he stands. He’s only slightly taller than Leon, but suddenly the testosterone in the room becomes thick enough to choke me.

“Leon, was it?” He asks, and I can practically hear Natalie’s ‘what the hell?’.

“Yeah. You must be Natalie’s husband,” he infers, not taking his eyes off of James.

“James,” he supplies. “And you are?”

“James, he just told you-” But I am cut off.

“Oh, I’m not asking his name.” Oh not this overprotective bullshit again, James.

“James, she’s talked about her roommate before.” Natalie to the fucking rescue. She steps forward, placing a hand on his chest. He deflates a little at her touch, finally breaking the staring contest him and Leon had going on to look at her. The atmosphere calms in an instant as if Natalie had some kind of magical powers. James’ huffs a quick breath before turning back to Leon.

“Sorry man,” he apologizes, offering his hand, which the agent takes gratefully, his own shoulders dropping in relaxation. “I worry about this one,” he adds, gesturing to me with his chin. I roll my eyes at the notion but it’s quickly overshadowed as Leon chuckles.

“Yeah, me too. No big deal.” He worries about me? “I’m gonna take a shower and then probably turn in, it was nice to meet you bo-”

“Do you wanna have dinner with us? I made plenty.” I don’t want him to feel like he has to hide away just cause I have people here.

“I don’t wanna intrude, sweetheart.”

“Nonsense. According to Squish, you’re practically family.” Natalie’s arm slings over my shoulders - almost knocking me off balance - before my cheeks burn hot at the use of the nickname.

“Squish?” Leon questions, eyes landing on me with a quizzical smirk.

“Come eat with us, and I’ll tell you the story,” she offers, that small victorious smile still decorating her small face.

“Sure, just let me take that shower.” His back turns then, heading to his room, presumably for clothes and I walk into the kitchen to check on dinner. Nat comes in shortly after, smirk plastered on her lips, as if she knows some huge secret that I’m not aware of.

“What?” I ask, refusing to face her.

“You like him.” My eyes snap to her before changing my expression to say ‘duh’.

“I live with him. Yeah I like him.” If she knows, she’ll lord it over me for however long she can.

“No, you like like him.” Damn her and how well she knows me. I fake a laugh as I face her, leaning back against the counter, blush spreading across my cheeks unconsciously.

“It’d be a little awkward if I had a crush on my roommate, wouldn’t it?”

“Oh my god,” she starts again, jaw practically hitting the floor. “You love him.” The second sentence is whispered, and before I can even argue, she jacks the radio up, ‘Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic’ fading in as she begs me to dance with her with grabby hands in my direction, and I scoff a laugh before taking her hands, joining her in her weird movements that she calls ‘dancing’ in the middle of my kitchen, with the radio blasting, the smell of soup leaking from the crockpot, and a silly little grin on my lips. We quickly take to bobbing our heads to the beat while jumping around, yelling the lyrics a little louder than what is probably acceptable at this hour.

Both so absorbed in the dancing, we don’t notice the men looking at us with amused glances until James let’s out a snigger and I immediately freeze, eyes locked on Leon, seeing something in his gaze that I don’t think I’ve ever seen. Fondness? Admiration? Lo- No. Don’t go there. James moves forward, pulling Nat into a hug and a tender kiss, and I look on, making gagging noises behind them, until Natalie flips me the bird.

“Hey,” Leon says, deterring my attention. His arms open up, and the instinct to let them fold around me is too strong, and I rush forward, pressing my ear to his chest as he envelopes my small frame. His heart is beating faster than usual. “I missed you,” he mumbles into my hair and I find myself looking up at him, chin resting on his pecs, and it takes me a second to realize how close our faces are. The silence stretches on, seemingly like waiting on the other to do something. Anything. I could just lean in…

“I missed you too,” I admit before burying my burning cheeks back into the soft cotton of his tee shirt. “You sure you’re okay?” I mumble into his shirt. Even though it’s a clean shirt, it smells like him, pine mixed with a freshness that reminds me of citrus. He nods against my head, nose pressing into my scalp gently.

“I’m good. This one was alright,” he remarks, before silently adding, “Physically.” I lean up again, getting closer to his ear to whisper.

“Do you wanna sleep next to me tonight?” He chews on the inside of his cheek for a second before nodding, resting his head on my shoulder, arms still wrapped tightly around my shoulders. This moment feels more than intimate, arms wrapped around each other, him breathing me in while I do the same to him, but that intimacy is shattered as my sister clears her throat, a knowing grin spread across her lips as we separate, and I have to silently plead to her to keep her trap shut.

“Food’s done, cuddle bugs.” Bitch.

After a painstaking game of Settlers of Catan, which James won - due to Natalie giving him the win - James steps outside onto the balcony with Leon for a glass of whiskey and his one daily cigarette (he’s quitting) while Natalie and I perch on the couch to watch a rerun of Jeopardy. After 15 minutes or so, I head into the kitchen for glasses of sparkling cider for Natalie and myself. While pouring, I notice the porch door is open, screen closed to keep out the bugs, but their conversation is clearly audible.

“I am sorry about earlier, man.” James’ voice floats across the room. I don’t mean to eavesdrop.

“No, it’s okay. You’re protective of her. I get it.”

“Her brother was my partner. I was there when he died.” He pauses, presumably to take a drink or puff his cigarette. “He died in my arms.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I kinda feel responsible for these girls, you know? Keegan set me up with Nat long before his death, but… It’s hard to not be worried about Squish.”

“You gonna explain that nickname?”

“She sat on a caterpillar once when they spent all day looking for them. She sobbed when she realized its guts were all over her ass, and Keeg started calling her Squish shortly after that.” They laugh, and I feel my heart do a flip at the sound.

“Why can I see that perfectly in my head?” Leon snorts, tone light and teasing. I frown to myself.

“She’s got a good heart. Bit too prone to offer help when it’s not needed but, you know.”

“Oh, I do. First time we met was in January and she pressed me for answers to questions I wasn’t quite ready to deal with.”

“Sounds like Squish.” They go quiet, and for a moment, I debate booking it back into the living room, but then James speaks again and my cheeks flush at his words.

“She really cares about you, you know that?” Silence. I wish I knew if it was because of some unspoken conversation or if Leon truly just doesn’t know what to say. “She loves hard. Friendships, romance, family. Doesn’t seem to matter to her. If she loves you, she really loves you.”

“I know.” What? “God, don’t I know it. She’s one of the few things in this fucked up world that actually makes me think it’s worth it.”

“I saw you, man. I saw the way you looked at her.”

That’s my cue to leave. I stumble out into the living room, trying to rid the conversation from my mind. The boys come back in after 30ish minutes, Natalie and I dozing on the couch comfortably. Bidding them goodbye with hugs and smiles, I watch as they head out the front door before Leon clears his throat, tilting his head toward the bedrooms.

We fall asleep the same way we did the first time I let him into my bed, arms holding me against his front, his breath on my neck, and for a split second, despite his light snoring behind me, I swear his hands cup my stomach the same way James’ held Natalie’s.

Leon: @house-of-kolchek @bonnibuckets @athanasia-day @muffimtv Everything: @chaosandbubbles @kassiekolchek22 @akiramoon8088

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon x reader #resident evil fanfiction #leon kennedy smut

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outtrust · 2 years

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Dateline the life she wanted

#Dateline the life she wanted movie

#Dateline the life she wanted password

#Dateline the life she wanted plus

#Dateline the life she wanted tv

Idris Elba Stuns In Smocked Suit at ‘Beast’ Premiere, “Designed By Me”.

Kevin Hart Dances Solo for ‘Me Time’ & Tequila, Wife Eniko Hart Responds.

#Dateline the life she wanted password

Chelsea Handler Tries To Guess Stranger’s Password In Jumpsuit.

The overall lack of a criminal history and Mallory’s age at the time the crime was committed contributed to that decision I’m sure.” Dateline NBC airs Fridays at 9pm. But the state made the decision to not pursue the death penalty. Harris’ stepfather Charles Cassity said: “Our personal preference would have been that they both would be executed. Mallory and Cervantez were both found guilty of capital murder and sentenced to life in prison. Mallory and some others, would it be smart, would it be wise to bring along someone who could have been blown away by a strong breeze?” Gordon was referring to Cervantez’s slight physical stature. Her defense attorney Steve Gordon argued: “If the intent to murder Ashlea was developed by Mr. Prosecutors claim Cervantez was the mastermind of the murder/robbery plot and that she manipulated Mallory although Cervantez testified that she was raped when she did not do what Mallory wanted. The young couple had robbed an American Eagle store in a nearby mall three months prior, in August, during back-to-school sales. According to prosecutors, Mallory and Cervantez beat and bound Harris to steal the keys to the American Eagle store and planned to rob the store. The two people convicted of her murder were Harris’ former co-workers: Clarence David Mallory, 19, and his live-in girlfriend Carter Carol Cervantez, 25. On the day after Thanksgiving - known in the retail world as Black Friday - Harris’s beaten dead body was found bound in her apartment which was set on fire. The 31-year-old was an assistant manager at the American Eagle Outfitters store in the Abilene mall in Texas. The Dateline NBC episode “Black Friday” investigates the 2014 murder of Ashlea Ann Harris.

Watch ESPYS Pat Tillman Recipient MSgt.

Who Is Barbara Corcoran’s FBI Agent, Football Star Husband?.

#Dateline the life she wanted plus

Bradley Cooper’s Net Worth Wealth Soars, $100 Million Plus.

Khloe Kardashian Keeps Posting Sparkle Swim Bikini Pics After Kim Kardashian Model Coup.

Russell Westbrook Spotlights School Affluence in “Next Chapter” - “Separate Worlds”.

Queen Latifah Flaunts Dope Shirt, “Brother on the Plane Gave It To Me”.

#Dateline the life she wanted movie

First Out Gay Movie Superhero Surge Speaks on Humor, Responsibility.Video: The Speech Ring Inventor on Overcoming Fear of Public Speaking.Do Cranberries Really Help UTI? A Doctor Answers With New Evidence.Burger King Getting Great Reviews on New Cheesy Breakfast Melts, Takes Aim at Wendy’s.Martha Stewart Rocks Yellow Feather Dress In Vegas, Snoop Dogg “Pulls Epic Surprise”.Ellen Pompeo Eats $267 Baked Potato at Martha Stewart’s Chic Vegas Dinner Party.Kurt Warner’s QB Son Missing on Celeb Family Feud, Wears #13 at Div I School.NBA Superstar Giannis Antetokounmpo Performs International Dunk Fest with 3 Brothers For 19K Fans.Dwayne Johnson Honors NFL Number 54’s - Here’s What That Means.‘Stargirl’ Brec Bassinger Stops Traffic In Bustier and Low-Rise Mini Skirt, “Big Slay”.Goop Goddess Gwyneth Paltrow Lathers Up In Shower Scene, “We Worked Really Hard on This One”.Savion Glover Steals Scene from Chris Rock, Javier Bardem in Haunted ‘Look at Me’ Trailer.Richard Branson Teaches Disruptive Entrepreneurship Class, “Screw It, Let’s Do It”.Black-Owned Clay & Olive Skincare CEO Inspired by Iman, “Trail Blazer For All Women of Color”.KIN Hair Hoodies Gets NFL Miami Dolphins QB Endorsement After Shark Tank $200,000 Deal.Politics: A Pennsylvania Voter On What It’s Like ‘In The Swing Again’.Kamala Harris Overlooks Motherhood in Women’s History Month Video, Critics Say.

#Dateline the life she wanted tv

Crude Video of Putin Singing Iconic American TV Song Disturbs Anew.

#Dateline the life she wanted

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s0ckh3adstudios · 8 months

Text

What if we were two guys dressed up and trying to spread joy through our own interests and were also really goofy and enthusiastic

I'm sorry I don't know what this is but I'm too invested to go back

#unironically helped me figure out how to draw El Bailador better LMAO #sort of took my own spin on his outfit. just a little #guys what do we call this #we haven't really decided yet #danza yaoi #LMAO?#undertale yellow #uty #uty starlo #uty north star #uty el bailador #uty ceroba #sock art #uty dancing stars

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djpumpkinsoda · 7 months

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goodnight

#uty #undertale yellow #dancing stars #gay #rarepair #starlo #el bailador

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ameliora-j · 3 years

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sure // rw x reader

words: 1.8k

warnings: smut, overstimulation kinda, finger sucking, size kink if you squint, daddy kink, subspace but not focused, sort of enemies to lovers

a/n: i hate the ending to this i’m not gonna lie but aye first smut

you didn’t really know much. you learned a lot, but you never truly retained the information. after tests and exams, knowledge went just as quickly as it came. however, one thing that you did know. one thing that you were absolutely sure of was that you absolutely despised ron weasley. and nothing in the world could ever change that. you can admit, you did used to have a crush on the redhead... before you found out his true personality of arrogant asshole.

the two of you were in the same friend group, but don’t be mistaken... he was absolutely not your friend. you would first die before ever calling the selfish, pompous, arrogant git your friend. he was so full of himself. you didn’t understand how harry and hermione could be friends with someone like that.

harry and hermione were tired of the two of you constantly bickering and ignoring your—quite obvious, according to them—feelings for each other. and you guess that’s how you wound up in this situation. harry and hermione had taken both you and ron’s wands and locked you in the room of requirement with the threat: “if you two don’t speak to each other and become friends we won’t ever let you out.”

at least they made the room cozy. it was everything you needed, a small room with a bed in the center, and a desk against one of the walls. it was also accompanied with a small en-suite bathroom and water and snacks. you were happily reading in your dorm alone before hermione dragged you here, saying that it was an issue that needed immediate attention.

you had probably been here for about an hour with the redhead, sitting silently and not even looking at each other. finally, you were bored of counting seconds, so you retreated to the desk and opened your book and continued reading where you had left off, still ignoring the tall, muscular redhead laying on the bed.

it was going very well untill you began to see small paper butterflies landing on the desk in front of you. you contained your smile as you watched yet another charmed paper butterfly fly across the room and land in front of you. this caused you to close your book and spin around to face him as you set it on the desk. “did y’need something, weasley?” you asked him.

“they won’t let us out of here unless we talk. and i need to study our playbook for the next quidditch game,” he told you. you hummed softly before turning back around and opening the book again.

“i don’t have anything to say to you. you hate me, you don’t want to be my friend, and i’m okay with never speaking to you again,” you spoke, matter-of-factly as you began reading again.

you heard a deep sigh before ron’s footsteps began coming closer to you. you felt his presence behind you and he put his hand on your jaw, forcing you to look up at him. your face heat up as you swallowed thickly and bit your lip nervously. “we both know that’s not true now, is it, princess?” he smirked devilishly.

you don’t know what it was, but something in his eyes made you want to listen to his every word. do whatever he told you to. submit. you nervously shook your head as you struggled to remember exactly how to breathe. he hummed again, keeping his grip on my jaw as he stared down at me. “tell me, princess. how do you really feel?” he raised an eyebrow.

“nervous,” you croaked.

“nervous?” he hummed. “why nervous?”

“you,” you breathed out.

“i make you nervous?” he found great pleasure in this information as he smirked down at you. you nodded again and he removed his grip from you, moving to sit on the desk in front of you. “c’mere,” he beckoned, reaching his hand out.

you nervously took his hand and moved so i was standing in between his legs. his hands moved your hair away from your neck before landing on your hips and tugging you closer to him. you sucked in a gasp as your senses became engulfed with him. “y’very pretty,” he murmured into your ear before placing a soft kiss behind it. “thank you,” you stuttered as you searched for air.

“‘m gonna kiss you now,” he spoke and you nodded your consent. he tangled his hands in your hair and pulled you impossibly closer as he pressed your lips to his. it was already very clear that he was the one in charge, the kiss just solidified that as his tongue licked inside of your mouth and you mewled against his lips. he stood from the desk and lead you backwards to the bed, pushing you gently down on it and crawling over you.

“‘s this your first?” he asked, and you shook your head nervously. “good. cus ‘m not gonna be gentle,” he smirked as he began to leave kisses down your neck. you tugged gently on his shirt, causing him to sit up and pull it off. the two of you undressed each other as you continued making out.

once ron had your pants off, he began kissing down your body. you whimpered and squirmed slightly as he got down to your thighs. “please,” you whimpered breathlessly. he smirked as he pulled off your panties and left a kiss on your clit. you moaned softly, tangling your hands in his hair as he licked up your slit.

“so wet f’me,” he commented as he circled your entrance with his middle finger. “please, want it,” you whined, bucking your hips into him. he shushed you, pushing your hips back down to the mattress as he finally gave you what you want, pushing his middle fingers into you. you moaned as he curled them and quickly found that special spot.

“fuck,” you whimpered as his thumb came up to rub at your clit. “so good,” you whined as he began moving his fingers faster. you whimpered as his free hand reached up to play with your nipple, rolling the rapidly hardening bud between his fingers.

“you gonna cum?” he asked and you nodded, whimpering out a small “please,” making him smirk at how quickly he got you to submit to him.

“go head, princess,” those three words were all you needed. your eyes rolled to the back of your head as stars danced across your vision and your legs shook as you fell into ecstasy. his fingers fucked you through it and his thumb never stopped it’s circles on your clit, even as you came down.

“please, please, please,” you whimpered as you tried to squirm away from it. “one more for me, princess,” ron hummed. you whined softly as you gripped his wrist, letting out small gasps and whimpers as he practically tickled a second orgasm from your already tired body.

“good girl,” he praised as he fucked you through the second release, only pulling away when you whimpered and squirmed away. “open,” he instructed as he brought his fingers up to rest on your bottom lip. you followed his instruction, lolling out your tongue as he pushed his fingers into your mouth, making you clean them off. “y’ready to take me, princess?” he asked.

you nodded with a small whimper of “please.” he ran his tip up your slit, collecting your slick on him before slowly pushing his cock into you, making you moan at the stretch. ron wasn’t your first, but he was definitely the biggest. you were sure he knew that as you saw him smirking down at you as he kept pushing it in. “is that all?” you whimpered after a while.

��almost princess, halfway there,” he whispered as he leaned down and kissed you softly. you whined softly as he pushed in even further, bottoming out as he hit your cervix. you moaned loudly as you arched into him, begging him to move.

he obliged, setting a quick pace as his arm wrapped around your leg, setting it over his shoulder for a better angle. “fuck. so tight,” he grunted in your ear as he rutted into you. you couldn’t contain your moans as the head of his cock repeatedly hit your spot inside of you, making you beg for more.

“daddy,” you shrieked as he moved your other leg over his shoulder, making his cock go that much deeper.

“oh fuck say it again pretty girl,” he moaned as his thumb found your clit, rubbing in time with his thrust.

“daddy please,” you whimpered as you took his free hand and moved it to rest on your throat. he raised an eyebrow as he smirked down at you. “such a dirty little girl,” he hummed as he squeezed gently.

you moaned louder as you arched further into him, whimpering and begging. “shh. take it,” he hummed as he abused your cervix with his cock.

“wanna cum please,” you whined softly as you felt your lower abdomen clench. “please please please,” you whimpered repeatedly as he continued his assault on your cunt.

“hold it,” he demanded. however, he didn’t let up, causing you to whine loudly as you thrashed about the bed, trying not to release the pleasure ron was currently giving your body. “cum with me princess, now,” he hummed.

the third orgasm hit you even harder than the first two. it was unending as ron continued to fuck you through it, every drag of his cock against your walls intensifying it twofold as you cried his name over and over, feeling his hot cum spurt inside of you. you whimpered softly as you came down, looking up at him doe-eyed. “you okay, pretty girl?” he asked softly.

“thank you daddy,” you hummed softly, ignoring his question. he smiled down at you, pressing a kiss to your lips as he slowly pulled out. you mewled at the ache in your lower body and hissed as you felt the sheets drag against your swollen, sensitive clit.

“just gonna clean you up, yeah? then we can nap,” he spoke gently as he carried you into the bathroom. he sat you on the toilet, making you go so that you didn’t get a uti before he ran a bath for you. he got in behind you as he gently washed you off, careful of all your sensitive areas as he hummed gently to you, bringing you back down to earth.

“ron?” you asked gently as he wrapped you in a big, fluffy towel. he hummed in acknowledgment and you looked up at him. “what does this make us?” you asked shyly.

“how bout i take you on a date first. and then we’ll decide that. deal princess?” he asked as he lead you back into the room and began to change you.

“okay,” you hummed. he smiled as he pulled on a pair of boxers and got into bed with you, pulling you into his chest.

you didn’t really know much. however, if there was one thing that you were absolutely sure of.. it’s that... maybe you didn’t despise ron weasley.

#ron weasley #ron weasley fanfiction #ron weasley fluff #ron weasley smut #ron weasley x reader #harry potter smut #harry potter #harry potter x reader

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reidsnose · 3 years

Text

love letters

overview: spencer has a wonderful idea after finding out that reader had never gone to her senior prom

genre: fluff fluff fluff

a/n: i mixed two ideas that have been sitting in my notes app for this lol but i think its sweet!! i wrote it a little rushed and definitely not bc im not getting a prom this year due to miss rona👀 LMAO but as always please lmk what yall think ab it :)

masterlist

the idea had fully occupied his thoughts the second after the words left your mouth.

it was "the buttcrack of dawn" as you had called it, though spirits were high on the late jet ride home. it was a rare but much needed positive end to the case, and everyone was happily chatting with each other. since the case was involving high schoolers, the subject fell on prom. everyone went around sharing their prom stories one by one, recalling awful dresses and questionable dates til the questions turned to spencer.

"what ab you, pretty boy, what was your prom like?" morgan asked, still smiling widely from recalling his own.

you watched spencer shift uncomfortably for a second.

"i uh..i never went to prom." he stammered, a tight lipped smile on his face.

"no! you just dont wanna tell us!" prentiss cried, throwing her hands in the air.

"i graduated high school when i was 12! why would i have gone to prom?" he reasoned.

"you had to have gone when you were older or something! everyone has!" jj countered.

"thats not true, i never went to prom either," you defended, subconsciously inching closer to spencer.

before anyone could even ask you to explain why, spencer got the idea. he mentally left the conversation after you gave your answer. he spent the whole rest of the ride home and the next couple of weeks brain storming and planning.

and casually after work one day, as he was walking you to your car, he asked you if you wanted to hang out with him that weekend; at his house.

you and Spencer had hung out before, but mostly at your house or at coffee shops; he didn't invite people over very often.

of course you agreed but you grew confused when he told you to dress fancy.

you raced home afterwards to raid your closet, looking for any fancy dresses you may have stuffed in there.

spencer spent the whole day preparing his apartment. he put up streamers and balloons. he made a playlist of all your favorite songs. and then he rushed to get his clothes from the cleaners.

and when you knocked at his door the breath that left your lungs struggled to come back after he opened the door.

he stood in a gorgeous suit, different than he had ever worn to work. he rubbed the back of his neck and gestured to the living room, revealing the adorable (albeit poorly made but its the thought that counts) decorations.

"um.. welcome to prom," he said, turning back to you, revealing a blushy smile.

he tried not to stare too much at you, but it was difficult. your eyes sparkled as you stepped inside and looked around. and the dress you were wearing fit you so gorgeously he truly couldnt take his eyes off of you.

"spencer, i..." you trailed off, enchanted by what he had done.

"sorry if it looks bad. or if you think its weird that i did this. i just thought cause neither of us went to prom maybe you wanted to have a little one with me? yeah now that i say it out loud maybe you hate it im sorr-" he rambled behind you.

you turned quickly to him as he got lost in his words, eyes glued to the floor. cutting him off by wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him as tight as you could. you could feel the tension leave his body as he melted into the embrace, returning it gladly. he doesn't like to be touched by anyone really, except for you.

"i love it. thank you," you whispered, giving him one last squeeze before letting go.

he has a spread of snacks lying out on the coffee table which he has mooved to the corner of the room to make space for a makeshift dancefloor.

he turns on the music and you two start talking and dancing and laughing. two fools with four left feet completely and obliviously in love. well, oblivious the the other anyway.

a slower song came on, an old one that you had wanted to slow dance to ever since you were a little girl. and somehow naturally you two came together, his hand dropped to your waist, the other delicately cradling your own. your other hand found its way up to his shoulder, feeling as though a magnet was pulling you two closer. and closer.

he looked absolutely stunning. the soft lights he had strung around the apartment sparkled like stars in his eyes; its was...dizzying, in the most incredible way.

unbeknownst to you, as you stared at the stars in his eyes he was looking at his whole world that he had been somehow lucky enough to hold in his arms.

he held his arm out, allowing you to spin and when he pulled you back both of your arms ended up wrapped around his neck, and his around your waist. you were less dancing now and more...hugging. with your head pressed to his chest, he hoped with all his might that you wouldn't be able to hear his hammering heart. you most definitely could, but it was calming to know he was as nervous as you were. you smiled, listening more to his heart than the music he had played for you.

you were both sure that you could burst from pure bliss. the song ended a little too quickly for either of your liking and reluctantly you let go of each other. and suddenly Spencer was hit with the realization that he forgot something.

"oh my gosh," his eyes widened as he looked around the room.

"what?" you asked, mirroring him and looking as well.

"i can't remember where i left your corsage! i was gonna give it to you at the door but i forgot!" he exclaimed, running around the room checking shelves.

you smiled to yourself. he got you a corsage!

"ill help you look" you decided.

"please do," he chuckled.

"i thought you had an eidetic memory, shouldn't you know where you left it?" you joked, shooting him a smug smile.

"y/n, my brain was all jumbled to day and it wasn't just from being around you," he realized what he had said and quickly turned back to the shelf he was looking at, "could you check in my room please?"

his heart was racing at his own stupidity; how could he just say that so nonchalantly? he had been planning to tell you that he liked you for the longest time he cant afford slipping up and having it be anything less than perfect.

you slipped into his room, your cheeks warm from the idea that you make his big brain all jumbled. he probably didn't mean it like that, you were just looking too much into it.

you sighed as you crouched to look under his bed for it. you found a small wooden box that you slid out from underneath. it had your name on it.

is it normal to keep a corsage in a wooden box? you wouldn't know, you never went to prom.

you shrugged your shoulders, "i found it spence!"

with out thinking you opened the box, except instead of a band of flowers you were greeted with letters, all addressed to you. there were annotations written in the margins with purple ink. you furrowed your eyebrows as you scanned the various letters.

dear y/n,

today you complimented my glasses and my heart skipped a beat. thats dumb spencer dont start like that

dear y/n,

im in love with you. too forward

dear y/n,

you make life worth living. shes gonna think youre a creep

you felt a rush of euphoria fill your chest. did he really feel these things for you? your thoughts swirled in the most wonderful way. a wide smile broke across your face, butterflies running rampage through your stomach as you reread his words. his words addressed to you.

"oh thank God i really thought i lost-oh. oh no." spencer started as he walked through the door of his room immediately walking back out. you followed, blinking your watery eyes at him. "i can explain.

"i think youve explained enough, theres like 20 letters in here!" you chuckled, flipping through them.

"i didnt know how to tell you and i dont want to ruin what we already have and i-"

"it wasnt too forward." you stated, grabbing one of the letters.

"what?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"in this one," you held up the letter, "you wrote dear y/n, im in love with you. and then you crossed it out and wrote that it was too forward but i dont think it was."

"youre not mad?"

"mad? spencer ive been trying to admit the fact that im in love with you since i realized it myself, why would i be mad?"

"youre..you feel the same way?" he looked back up at you, a hesitant smile pulling on the corners of his lips.

"more so," you beamed, stepping closer.

he wrapped his arms around you, "thats good or else the rest of this prom would have sucked."

you chuckled, pulling him impossibly closer to you as another perfect song played.

ultra mega super cool taglist

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @spenxerslut @violetspoetic @aperrywilliams @b-a-utiful @eevee0722 @srhxpci @reidemandweep @imdefinitelyfloating @random-human-person @gurkiloni @luvspence @calm-and-doctor @ssavanessa22 @singularityjc @sydnee-kom-spacekru @sydneekomspacekru

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13uswntimagines · 4 years

Text

Your Ass Is Out of This World (Kelley x Reader)

Request: alex or kelley or sonnett x reader where they've been dating for a few years R is an astronaut for NASA and she gets to go to space

Author’s Note: Special thanks to @literaryhedgehog cause without her, none of this would have happened.

Kelley wasn’t quite sure how she had ended up standing next to a dive bar sipping a lukewarm beer on a Friday night. In her defense, Ali and Ashlyn had convinced her it would be fun and had promised to pay for the Uber rides both ways. It had been fun for a while, dancing with them to some old 70s songs on the light-up dance floor, but half an hour ago they had disappeared off into a hallway somewhere, and she had no intention of third-wheeling (she knew she should have convinced Alex to join them). But she also wasn’t going to leave without them, because she wasn’t convinced either of them were sober enough to take any kind of transportation safely (someone needed to be there to make sure they didn’t puke in someone’s car).

So here she was, standing by the bar waiting for her friends’ sexcapades to be over, nursing her drink. The clink of a glass settling in front of her caught her attention. She blinked at the bartender. “I didn’t order another one,”

The man’s lips ticked up and he shrugged. “Lady on the end paid for it. Said you looked sad,”

Kelley looked up, following the man’s eyes towards a woman standing a few seats down the bar from her. She was also standing alone but was dressed as though for a different event altogether. Kelley had embraced the 70s theme of the bar slightly, wearing a jumpsuit and a scarf around her head, but this woman had just thrown a white NASA shirt--like the one Kelley got for her little cousin at Target-- over a pair of black jeans. As she bobbed her head to the music she met Kelley’s eyes and smiled.

Kelley took that as her invitation to approach. Kelley’s eyes traced her form, lingering on the white material. She didn’t know those came in adult sizes...

“You must be a star, I can't stop orbiting around you” Kelley smiled charmingly as she approached you, setting her beer on the bar beside you and settling in the seat to the left of yours.

“I do believe I was the one to buy you the drink…” you said, your lips twitching as you tried to keep a serious expression. “Shouldn’t I be the one throwing pickup lines here?”

“You bought me the drink, so I get to be the one to woo you. I’m Kelley, are you from Mars? 'cuz I wanna explore you with curiosity.” Kelley said, wiggling her eyebrows at you, enjoying the light blush coloring your cheeks.

“Oh my god,” you groaned, “that was terrible. I mean really good but absolutely awful.”

“At least I got you to smile, but you still haven’t told me your name.” Kelley laughed, taking a sip of her beer. She was prepared to lay on the horrible pick up lines for your entertainment.

“I’m Y/n,” you said, putting down your drink and holding out your hand, “pleasure.”

“They call me the milky way...Pleasure You Can't Measure,” Kelley smiled, shaking your hand as you laughed and pulling you a little closer “Why look at the moon, if I can’t touch it? Why look at your lips, if I can't kiss them,” she said, winking so you knew she was completely joking.

“How do you know so many of these?” You said, shaking your head in awe. “ All I know off the top of my head is ‘do you work for NASA? Because you’re out of this world!’”

“Ah, a magician never reveals her secrets,” Kelley whispered conspiratoryly, bringing her hand up to cover her lips. “but my team and I have definitely had flirt offs for bonding nights,”

“Your team?”

“Yeah, I play soccer for the US and Washington,” She shrugged as if it wasn’t a huge accomplishment.

Your eyes widened and you nearly spat out your drink. “Didn’t they, like, just win a World Cup?”

“Yeah, No biggie,” Kelley said, side-eyeing you as she took another sip.

“No biggie? I’m surprised you don’t have a swarm of paparazzi shadowing you, that’s incredible! Weren’t the USWNT like the most successful US team in soccer?’

“Hm, there’s not enough drama for them, but we don’t mind. How about you? What do you do beautiful?” Kelley hummed.

“Oh. I work for NASA,” you said, gesturing at the shirt. “I can’t wait to bring some of those lines back to work.”

“What??”

****

“So do they at least give you a good choice of flavors? So you don’t get bored and stuff?” Emily asked from across the table, licking her dripping I cream cone.

When your girlfriend decided to introduce you to the team after their match against Colombia, you were quite surprised she had chosen an ice cream shop as a venue. But with how food motivated the youngins seemed, you realized how appropriate it was.

“I mean,” you said, your spoon suspended in the air as you blinked at Emily, “ice cream isn’t the only thing we will eat. I’m going to be on the station for like 8 months. Ice cream is not a balanced diet.”

“But it’s the only one they sell in the stores. You don’t have to lie cause the veggie lovers are here,” The defender said, leaning across the table, as though it would prevent the rest of the table from hearing her.

“Babe, you literally love most veggies too,” Lindsey rolled her eyes, using her thumb to wipe a spot of chocolate ice cream from Emily’s nose.

“Actually, I heard they’re a pretty good selection of dehydrated fruits and veggies and MRE’s and Tortillas and stuff. Plus I get to take a few things from home…” You mumbled, leaning back.

She couldn’t be serious right? There was no way she thought you were supposed to sustain yourself on horrible freeze-dried dairy products for that long. Not to mention, freeze-dried ‘astronaut’ products for the most part weren’t actually possible to bring to space, with how crumbly they are. You were more likely to eat actual ice cream on the space station (less chance for an errant crumb being inhaled or destroying an important piece of equipment) than that gift shop garbage.

“Oh yeah, MRE sounds way more likely than just eating the stuff they literally label as being for astronauts…” Emily said, rolling her eyes. “What does that even stand for? ‘Must reject Emily?”

You opened your mouth to answer, eyebrows furrowed, only for Kelley to nudge you softly.

“It’s not worth the fight babe, trust me. Not the brightest lighthouse if you know what I mean,” Your girlfriend made a swirling motion with her finger next to her temple.

You leaned in closer so your lips were nearly touching her ear. “She’s not serious right?”

“I never joke about ice cream,” Emily answered seriously.

You blinked at her, looking to your girlfriend who just shrugged and raised her eyebrows.

“I’m, I’m not sure if they have a flavor rotation system for ice cream flavors. We haven’t been… briefed on that yet,” you nodded seriously.

…...

“Can you hear me?” Kelley said, tapping her fingers impatiently as your face appeared in the video call.

“He- -utiful,” You smiled through the glitchy computer screen. Your waving was broken up like a bad claymation. You leaned in to make out the fuzzy figures standing behind your girlfriend, assuming she was at camp or something.

Normal long distance sucked, but literally being off-planet really made things difficult. It wasn’t like Kelley could just text you when she missed you, or randomly call you when she missed you at 3 am. Sure, she could email and you made a tremendous effort to schedule calls once a month, but it was still incredibly difficult (and slightly weird that a NASA tech dude had to monitor each call to make sure the connection stayed up). And sometimes even the best video-calling technology had issues. Like today (when a giant satellite or piece of space trash would block the signal).

“Are you hav- -un at -amp?” You asked, grabbing your floating water pouch pushing out a sip sized water drop.

“Yeah, it’s great,” Kelley said, watching you munch on your water. When you first got on the station you sent her pictures of artwork you made out of different drops of colored water- specifically making a giant water ‘soccer ball’ for her. Then you tried to boop it around and ended up losing control, amusing all your crewmates who watched you trying not to run into too many walls. “We’re looking forward to playing against Brazil on Friday, should be brutal.”

“We’re set to be ov- Florida on -day, so I’ll try and tune into the ga-. Catch a nice - view,” You nodded, wiggling your eyebrows (which looked more like you having a seizure due to how badly you were pixelated).

While Kelley wasn’t entirely sure what you were saying, she went ahead and nodded. “Let me know what you think!”

“Wh- color -it are you w-ing? Y- look -uper s-xy in the -ue,” you said, floating up in a ‘draw me like one of your french girls’ pose.

“You’re favorite one,” Kelley said, winking at you.

“-es!!” You cheered “-ake p-ture -or -“ the screen flickered dangerously for a second. Before a wobbly picture returned.

“Babe you’re breaking up, I can’t tell what you’re saying. Y/n. Are you there? UGh. I love you! We’ll talk soon.”

“-ove y- -oo”

Kelley blew a slow kiss to her camera before she heard a deep voice saying “Sorry ma’am. The connection was lost. Y’all still have five minutes on your scheduled call- Want me to try calling again? See if the signal improves?”

“Yeah,” Kelley shifted, rubbing the bridge of her nose as typing sounds echoed through the speaker. How she was going to make it through four more months of this she had no idea.

“What if like the ship was attacked by aliens or something,” Sonnett whispered from her left, staring at the blank screen with real trepidation.

“Not possible ma’am,” she heard him laugh. “But I doubt I would have the right level of security clearance to know.”

“great.”

Kelley grabbed a pen and marked a day off the calendar hanging on her wall. So much for ‘phone call with Y/n.’ She sighed. Just a few months to go.

****

Gravity fucking sucked. It was disorienting and heavy and made you sick to your stomach. Space station alums always talked about re-entry and how bad that was, but you thought sitting in a NASA hospital bed while your equilibrium readjusted was way worse than your fireball craft plummeting into the ocean.

“This fucking sucks,” You groaned, again throwing your hand over to pull out the IV. You hated how hard it was to move (and how you actually had to hold up a cup of water to get a drink but that was beside the point).

“Whoa babe, I know you’re a little out of it right now, but that has to stay in. Just try and relax for a little while,” Kelley said, grabbing your hand and kissing the back of your knuckles.

You frowned at her through heavy-lidded eyes. “Don’t wanna be here. Wanna be home with you.”

“I know, but you gotta stay here until the re-entry symptoms have worn off a little more,” She said again. She knew that you weren’t going to be 100% when you stepped out of the spacecraft, but she hadn’t expected you to be so out of it. You were sick to your stomach and entirely unable to walk without assistance.

The doctors assured her that you would be fine (residual effects from not being in gravity for so long and the impact of the landing or whatever), but it was still difficult to watch. It didn’t help that you were a horrendous patient.

“Just watch the game. The US is even in Blue,” Kelley tried to coax. Even she was beginning to grow restless. But you couldn’t leave until you could keep down solid foods.

“I don’t want to watch. You’re not in it,” You said, grabbing the remote from her and turning the television off. Then you tried to set the remote in the air, but instead of hovering like it should have done, it dropped to the ground.

“Alright, commander Y/l/n. It’s dinner time,” one of the NASA hospital nurses said, bringing in a tray for you. Kelley thanked them as they left since you were too dazed to think of it.

“God this food sucks, I hate jello ” you grumbled, lifting the spoon in front of your face (fully expecting it to float so you could take your bite) and dropping it as you want to open the pudding packet instead. “I just want a big juicy cheeseburger. With bacon and onions and-“ You trailed off, your mouth watering at the thought. You hadn’t had proper food in 8 months, and it had been your major cravings food.

“A side of diabetes” she scoffed, picking up the discarded remote and spoon, “And are you going to keep dropping things everywhere?” She asked, carefully filling a spoon with chocolate pudding and guiding it to your mouth.

“Fuck Newton. Things are supposed to float,”

****

You loved the soft skin behind Kelley’s ear. It was so smooth, and it always smelt like a mix of her perfume, shampoo, and something inherently Kelley. It was a bonus that your exploration of the area always sent a shiver down her spine. You ran your nose along the skin there, nibbling on her ear before moving down her neck. Leaving little kisses along your path. Kelley sighed, sleepily scratching your scalp and tilting her head to the side to encourage you to continue.

“You,” Kelley said. “ I like you.”

“Hm, I’m glad. It would be kinda scary if you were doing this with someone you didn’t like,” you mumbled against her skin, unwilling to part with it for even a moment. Kelley giggled at the tickling sensation. How you still had so much energy after you had thoroughly worn her out getting… reacquainted she would never know.

“But what do you like most. Tell me, babe,” You said, moving your lips a little lower, towards where her shoulder and neck met.

“I love… your ass. It’s out of this world.” She said sleepily, reaching around to grab her favorite asset of yours.

“Well, it has been,” You laughed, pulling away reluctantly so you could look her in the eyes.

“Shut up you goof,” She rolled her eyes, grabbing a pillow and whacking you lightly. You fell over dramatically, pulling her so she was on top of you.

“Hm, I’m your goof,”

“Yeah. You are. And babe?” She smiled down at you, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips.

“Hmm?” You hummed against her lips. She leaned back to look you in the eyes, one forearm across your chest and her other hand beside your head supporting her.

“No more space travel for a while?”

“Pinky promise,” You said, wiggling your hand so your littlest finger connected with hers.

“Good. I can’t believe I was dating someone from TEXAS for a while.” Kelley pretended to shudder. “Jus think, one of your coworkers might have been a Houston dash supporter!”

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #literalhedgehog #kelley o'hara x reader #kelley o'hara imagine

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