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dxwnfxll · 1 year

Note

heya! can i request scp staff with a trans masc s/o? ty ! :D

Ofc!

Scp staff with a Trans Masc S/O

(Ambrose replaces Shaw/Bright)

••Dr. Ambrose••

-So Jack is already Genderfluid so she's definitely the most accepting on the list

-He's always hyping you up secretly, like she'll leave lil sticky notes on your desk with 'you're a man, if anyone says otherwise go tell them to fuck themselves'

-If anyones transphobic towards you he'll treat them like they're dumb.

-Though I hardly doubt anyone in the foundation would be transphobic or homophobic seeing as a good majority of researchers are fruity

-if you want a binder or top surgery Ambrose is definitely paying for it.

-calls you romantic nicknames like 'Mcdreamy' (he was being silly with that one) or 'Hubby'

••Dr. Clef••

-Clef is a sleezy, shitty rude bastard...but! He's not trasphobic

-apart from Jack, Clef is the second biggest ally. He respects that you may not want everyone to know you're trans, so he keeps his support for you a lil secret.

-He'll leave you emails, texts and notes supporting you and encouraging you to beat the shit out of anyone who tries to be transphobic.

-if anyone is ever transphobic to you in front of him they're going missing. Simple

-he probably has a lil trans flag on his ukulele for ya lol

-he calls you weird lil names like 'Y/n boo boo bear' or 'cowboy'

••Iceberg••

-Iceberg is an asshole but he isn't a monster

-he supports and loves you unconditionally, and is definitely a guy to glare anyone down that says shit.

-His way of supporting you is kinda funny, he'll just send you stuff that looks like the trans flag and go 'hey x this reminded me of you' (i thought it was funny)

-or he'll randomly give you stuff that looks like the trans flag, so now your office is probably decorated with as many blue, pink and white stuff that he could find

-if someone's transphobic to you he's decking them in the face. He doesn't care, they're getting decked

-he likes to just call you 'babe' or 'baby' very simple sociopath man

••Dr. Kondraki••

-Konny is very supportive of you but won't really show it.

-again he is very VERY supportive of you, but he's just a shrug it off kinda guy.

-he'll address you as however you want, neos? Cool, xenos? Okay, he/him? Alright

-if anyone's transphobic to you they're on 682 duty for the rest of the month.

-if you want top surgery or a binder he's paying for it, he insists

-he just calls you 'love' or by your name lolol

••Dr. Rights••

-she's a very kind person and very considerate of your feelings

-she searches up all sorts of stuff to know how to properly address you and such.

-She bought you a lil bear with a trans flag on it <3

-if anyone is transphobic towards you she gives them the nastiest glare ever and pretty much goes

-"is this how you spend your life? Being an asshole? How sad."

-she calls you hers and darling

••Dr. Glass••

-Glass is super supportive of you, always tells you to come and talk to him if you need to

-He's got all sorts of flags in his office so it's a safe place for literally everyone

-very caring towards you and considerate of your feelings

-if anyone is being transphobic towards you he gets kinda like Ambrose, he makes them feel dumb with that sweet smile on his face

-if you ever need to vent you have the perfect boyfriend to do so with

-calls you 'sweetheart' and 'his darling'

••Draven Kondraki••

-Draven adores you no matter what you are, when you first come out he's very caring towards you and even asks what he can do to help make your journey easier

-He got you a lil trans pin to wear if you want lol

-if anyone says any sort of transphobic shit to you he just kinda looses his temper

-he'll yell at them probably even go as far as to knock them out if they continue to say awful shit to you

-he will always reassure you and remind you that you are a man and he'll always love you

-he likes to call you his 'dummy' or 'babe'

••Dr. Talloran••

-Talloran is non-binary themselves so they ofc support you, and they help you with your transition

-they have some money saved up to help with your top surgery if you wish to get it

-Whenever someone is being transphobic towards you Talloran will just take your hand and lead you away, and they'll let you vent to them about how that person was

-gives you constant reassurance and love

-calls you 'love' and 'dear'

••Mikell Ambrose••

-i'll admit it kinda took Mikell a lil to get used to the change, but whenever he fucked up he'd always correct himself

-he may accidentally call you by your dead name but he'll immediately correct himself, if he does so in public he'll correct himself with a "oh shit, hey Y/n my bad thought you were someone else"

-if anyone says shit they're pretty much dead, after all he's an 05 who's known as 'agent cowboy' so he's not to be messed with nor is his partner.

-he pays for your top surgery no discussion

-he likes to call you 'darlin'' usually

Sorry if this seems rushed and stuff i wasn't exactly sure how to go with this so i just put some lil head canons lolol

Hope you enjoyed! (And if you want me to add any specific things pls do tell)

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punch-aholic · 6 months

Text

Double Jeopardy: Chapter Ten - Appellant

ACT ONE IS OVERRRR!

Read it on AO3

Ariel waited a week before making any sort of move. There was a small hope that Harvey would break out immediately and help her, but nothing came. She stayed in his apartment in fear of going back to her own. Nightwing had seen her face, and she knew going back home would only increase her chances of getting caught. She tossed her options around as she attempted to make herself a good houseguest. Not that it mattered, really. While the living room and kitchen areas were kept incredibly neat and tidy, Harvey’s bedroom was a real mess. Dirty clothes everywhere, newspaper clippings pinned to the wall, old campaign merchandise scattered around. Ariel even found a photo of Harvey and a beautiful woman, who she assumed was his ex wife, sitting on the bedside table. It was almost… sad. A memorial to his old life.

By the next Monday after the heist, it was time to move on and find a new plan. With Harvey, Jones and even Dr. Crane gone, she needed someone new to trust. Her options were extremely limited. She only knew two other people who could help her, and Eddie was absolutely a last resort.

That’s how Ariel found herself in the Iceberg Lounge on a Monday evening, dressed in one of Harvey’s white button-ups and a pair of black dress pants that were tightly held up by a belt around her waist. It was more masculine than her usual attire, but wearing Harvey’s clothes gave her a sense of authority.

She fumbled through the crowd before making it to Oswald’s office, stopped by two large guards glaring down at her. She swallowed and lifted her chin up with a stern expression. “I’d like to speak to Mr. Cobblepot. I’m an associate of Mr. Dent.”

One of the men raised an eyebrow before smirking. “Turn out your pockets, love.” he said in a thick accent. Ariel held back the urge to roll her eyes as she turned out her pockets and lifted the leg of her pants to prove she wasn’t attempting anything stupid. They let her into a long dark red hallway before she arrived at the office. A woman sat at the desk chewing gum loudly as she typed something away at the computer. She was tall, taller than Ariel with curly blonde hair that had been tied up in a bun. She wore practically nothing, but it had the illusion of being dressy-casual. The outfit showed off her chest in a way that Ariel knew she wouldn’t be able to fill out if she tried. The woman looked up at her through her glasses and raised one heavily manicured finger. “Do you have an appointment, ma’am?” She spoke in a thick cockney accent, as well. Ariel noticed the tag on her desk read ‘Kitty Scott’. In another world, this would be Ariel’s life behind Penguin’s desk.

“No, but I’m a friend of Harvey Dent’s. I need to speak with him about something important.”

Kitty scowled at her, and a light went off in Ariel’s head. She recognized this woman as one of Harvey’s dates from the first party he went to. “No appointment, no visit. Buh-Bye.”

Ariel’s eyebrows furrowed. She leaned forward and put both hands on the desk. “See, this is my job too, Ms. Scott. I know damn well he’s sitting behind that door not doing a thing right now. Let me in!”

Kitty glared back at the girl and scoffed. “It’s your funeral, darling.” She pressed a button on the intercom. “Mr. Cobblepott, Harvey’s little side piece is here to see you”

Before Ariel could respond to being called a ‘little side piece’, Oswald’s voice came over the intercom. “Figured she’d be here eventually! Send her in, Kit!”. Kitty rolled her eyes and pressed a button to open the door. Ariel smirked and flipped her middle finger at the woman before walking inside. She had no time for attitude today.

Oswald, just as expected, sat on his couch with a cigarette in hand, chuckling as Ariel walked in. “Got yourself in a bit of a pickle, have we? Come looking for a job?”

“More like I’ve come for advice. You and Harvey are friends, can I expect that applies to me as well?” She said, sitting on the edge of the couch as well.

Oswald clicked his tongue and leaned back. “Not quite, dear. You’ve gotta earn my friendship.”

“And how exactly do I do that?”

Oswald smirked and spread his legs a bit. “I could think of a few ways”. His obnoxious laughter rang out through the office, but Ariel kept a straight face.

“Funny. But you know Harvey would kill you. Plus, your blonde bimbo out there would get jealous.”

Oswald laughed again and slapped his knee. “You’re lucky I like you, darling.” He leaned forward with a grunt and put out his cigarette. “You’re wondering what to do now.”

Ariel sighed and looked down at her feet. “There’s only fifteen men left at the office. Without Harvey they’re bound to work somewhere else. I… He could be in there for months. We… had a fight before he got taken away. I feel like an idiot.”

Oswald raises an eyebrow and chuckles. “Sounds like you only have one option. Run the damn thing yourself.”

“What?”

“Look, from what Harv tells me, you’ve been running it anyway. The only thing Harvey does that you don’t is recruit, fight and steal. Now, you don’t need to fight or steal, you recruit men to do it for you. Harvey’s men are loyal, and from what I hear they’re loyal to you too. Are you gonna keep being a secretary or are you gonna be Two-Face?”

Ariel felt a sense of pride well up in her chest. She was running the office. Harvey only showed up to help with paperwork and prepare before a robbery. The men that worked for him had protected her when she needed it… would they follow her? “I don’t know the first thing about being ‘Two-Face’.”

Oswald stood up and grabbed his umbrella cane, walking over to his desk and pulling out a file before handing it to her. “First rule of being a crime lord, make the right friends and don’t make the wrong enemies. In there is a contact list of people you can talk with. Nygma, Quinn, Freeze, even the mob.” Ariel’s heart stopped. “You don’t know how long Harvey’s gonna be gone. So you need to start making your own connections. Figure out what it is that you want, not what Harv wants.”

Ariel swallowed and held the file tightly. This was the last step. If she took this file, she was a crime boss. She could go to jail. She was no different from Oswald or Harvey. Still, Daniel had told her so many times that he was the boss and she was the secretary. She had a rare opportunity to prove him wrong, and to prove her father wrong. She looked up at Oz with a determined expression.

“I want to take down Maroni.”

#fic: double jeopardy #batman #dc comics #Harvey dent #two face #Harvey dent x reader #two face x reader #Harvey dent x oc #two face x oc #original character #punch!verse #Simon writes #oswald cobblepot #the penguin #ariel lancaster

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talesfromsiteredacted · 1 year

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Mystery Meal, Or How to Win Over Your Bosses With Cooking

After yet another visit from the idiots at the Chaos Insurgency, I decide my bosses deserve a nice dinner not from the Site Cafeteria. Several hours and a ton of dishes later, it's time to butter up the bosses, figuratively speaking.

Another day, another Insurgency raid. This one was rough. We lost three MTF teams, Dr. Iceberg took a bullet to the shoulder, thankfully it just grazed him. Dr. Gears had to neutralize half a squad. I myself had a few more tallymarks on my hit list. Clef, unsurprisingly, had 10 down himself. In the chaos, even 106 got a few whacks in. I swear he was grinning as he dragged off his last victim. After all that, and treating the grumpiest patient ever, I decide to listen to both my darling and Dr. Glass, and do something not work related. Knowing how hard my bosses and teammates work... I think a nice meal is in order. Off to Site Command's break room I go, the kitchen there outclassed anything us grunts see.

I check the stockpile, gather ingredients. Before I start cooking, I take precautions to be as undisturbed as possible, sticking a "Closed for testing by order of O5. Apologies for the inconvenience." sign on the outer door. It won't stop Dr. Clef, 963, or Dr. Gears, but I shouldn't be too bothered. I get to work. As 90% of Site Command are male, looks like steaks are on the menu. Hmm. I see potatoes, fresh green beans, porchini mushrooms, and a few other things. Perfect. Dr. Clef is always complaining about the overabundance of soup... I pull this off and he'll definitely have something to chew on. Knowing good risotto takes time, that's the first task. I'm just toasting the rice when a familiar three eyed face pops in the door.

"Something smells good. What's cooking, Most Favorite Intern?"

"Sorry, but since you're not on O5, I can't tell you. Let's just call it a nice surprise after a day from Helheim." Clef laughs.

"And this is why you're everyone's favorite intern. You're full of unexpected but delightful surprises. I knew you baked, but I was not expecting to get both a sharpshooter and a chef in one adorable package. Need a hand?"

"You cooking? No offense but it's bound to be anomalously terrible. It's well known you cannot cook."

"Got me there. Fine. I'll just go annoy Iceberg, and forget I saw this. Oh, and for the record... Dr. Gears prefers his steak rare. Good call on the risotto." We share a laugh, and I get back to cooking. After an hour or so, dinner is ready. Everything looks perfect. I pack everything up, and head to the conference room. After setting the table, I reach for the intercom button.

"Attention, please. Would the members of Site Command report to Conference Room Beta? I have a nice little surprise for all of you. Come quickly and come hungry."

Site Command files in, and everybody sits.

"Everybody here? Good. You have a domed plate before you. Would you kindly remove the domes?" Oohs and also.

"Rabbit... do we want to know what's this all about?" Dr. Iceberg asks.

"Well... you all work so hard, trying to keep everybody safe. Thought I'd show a little gratitude to my bosses. So, you all wind up with a free steak dinner."

"Steak? This a 'thank you' or a bribe, Bunny?" Dr. Gears teases.

"Bit of column A, bit of column B. All I want in exchange is a new shotgun. 4 gauge."

Dr. Talloran, after a bite of sirloin, responds first. "Pending approval from Dr. Gears... deal. Pass the A-1, please?"

#scp foundation #tales from site redacted #agent rabbit #bribing the bosses yet again

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aziliang · 2 years

Text

Its Getting Cold Here

April 15, 1911

“WOMEN AND CHILDREN ONLY, GO OUT TO THE DECK AND EVACUATE TO THE BOATS IMMEDIATELY!!!!” The officer assigned to their deck kept on screaming as he knocked on doors.

The announcement woke up Hange and Moblit. Hurriedly dressing up in their robes to go out and check what was happening. The boat was indeed sinking after having a near collision with an iceberg not too long ago. Everyone was rushing to the boats, screaming and crying filled the air, frantically asking for help, and pleading to be saved. Hans couldn’t help but sigh, they were nervous. ‘Is this really our end?’

Mob could only stare at the chaos before exhaling shakily. ‘This might really be the end.’

With a final glance, Mob reached out to hold Hans’ shoulder while looking deeply in their eyes as if communicating through their minds with their souls. A nod and a soft smile of affirmation was all he got in return, he knew their answer.

He led them back to their room, getting out of their robes to just their pajamas, they were once again fit to lay in bed and finally rest after a long tiring day.

“It’s getting cold, my love.” Hans spoke, sitting down on the bed waiting for the other to join them.

“I know darling, maybe the heater is tripping. You can put an extra layer of my sweater instead” He spoke, getting his sweater before joining them in the bed.

He knew that the water was near reaching their deck, he felt the running water under the floorboards as the atmosphere grew colder by the second. Helping Hans wear the sweater before tucking the both of them in bed. They hear water rushing into the space under the door, they feel it seeping through the floorboards rapidly.

“I don't regret ending this beautiful life beside you.” Hans started, snuggling closer to Mob’s embrace.

“You made my life beautiful, darling.” Mob hugged them tighter as he replied.

“I love you so much, my love. Will you be there when I wake up?”

“I love you so much, darling. let's go to sleep now, it'll be a beautiful day tomorrow and i promise to be there beside you.” He gives them a peck on their lips before going to sleep.

That night, RMS Paradis, the unsinkable ship of dreams, sank not long after a near collision with an iceberg. That night, thousands of people lost their lives, some tried to save themselves but failed, others accepted their fate and went to rest.

September 5, 2031

Reading the story of Captain Hans and Dr. Mob never failed to make Hange sob. It’s their birthday today and they have decided to visit the museum of historical events, out of tradition. They always visit during the anniversary of the sunken RMS Paradis and their birthday.

Today was no different from their past visits. Reading their story and staring at the restored portrait of the couple alongside the portrait of their skeleton cuddling on their bed. The story wasn't just tear jerking, it is a crime if you didn’t cry because of their story according to Hange.

They couldn't help but sob uncontrollably, until they noticed a handkerchief being offered to them.

“Thank you...” They sobbed once more before wiping their tears with the handkerchief.

“Are you okay?” The man asked, sitting beside them on the floor.

“Yes, yes I am. Their story is just… beautiful yet sad.”

“That’s true. They accepted their fates, one of the few courageous people during that time.”

“It’s just funny how I spend my birthday here and cry about them. I don’t know, I just kind of feel a connection or something.” They laughed softly, completely recovering from their sobbing fit.

“I do feel a connection of some sort between me and the couple. Happy Birthday by the way, you shouldn’t be spending your birthday crying here.”

“Well yeah, but I have nowhere else to go. I’ve been spending every single birthday here and maybe I forgot how to celebrate it normally.”

“This is definitely a normal way to celebrate, just sad because you’re crying. I’m Moblit Berner, before I forget.”

“Hange Zoe, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Pleasure bumping into you… I- I am not sure if this is too fast but, would you like to go out for some tea or perhaps lunch? To celebrate your birthday.” He offered his hand to them as he stood up.

“Oh gosh, that’s sweet. I would love to go and celebrate, it’s getting cold here anyway.” They accepted his hand, helping themself stand up.

“Here, take my cardigan. We couldn’t let the celebrant get cold on such a beautiful day.”

“My my, thank you kind sir.”

“It’s my pleasure, your majesty.”

It was indeed a beautiful day despite the cold, their blooming bond was enough to warm them inside.

#mobuhan #moblit berner #hange zoe #angst #character death #hurt/comfort #reincarnation #fluff #sort of a titanic au

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ao3feed-scp · 3 years

Link

by EPICNESSQUEEN21

Any SCP Any Doctor Any Guard All Yandere and They WILL Have their Darlings

Stalk Capture Possess

Words: 2620, Chapters: 3/?, Language: English

Fandoms: SCP Foundation

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other

Characters: Various SCP Foundation Characters, SCP-049 (SCP Foundation), Original SCP Character(s) (SCP Foundation), SCP-035 (SCP Foundation), SCP-682 (SCP Foundation), SCP-106 (SCP Foundation), SCP-096 (SCP Foundation), SCP-173 (SCP Foundation), SCP-076 (SCP Foundation), Dr. Gears (SCP Foundation), Dr. Iceberg (SCP Foundation), SCP-073 (SCP Foundation), SCP-999 (SCP Foundation), SCP-079 (SCP Foundation), Jack Bright, Dr. Alto Clef, Dr. Simon Glass, Dr. Benjamin Kondraki, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), everyone, Reader, You

Relationships: Various SCP Foundation Characters/Reader, SCP-035/SCP-049 (SCP Foundation), SCP-049 (SCP Foundation)/Reader, Dr. Gears/Dr. Iceberg (SCP Foundation), SCP-096/SCP-106 (SCP Foundation), SCP-049 (SCP Foundation)/Original Female Character(s), SCP-079/SCP-682 (SCP Foundation), SCP-073/SCP-076-2 (SCP Foundation), SCP Character(s) (SCP Foundation)/Original Character(s), SCP-106 (SCP Foundation)/Reader, SCP-076 (SCP Foundation)/Original Character(s), SCP-076 (SCP Foundation)/Reader, SCP-173 (SCP Foundation)/Reader, Dr. Alto Clef/Reader, SCP-682 (SCP Foundation)/Reader, Dr. Benjamin Kondraki/Reader, SCP-073 (SCP Foundation)/Reader, SCP-096 (SCP Foundation)/Reader, SCP-1471-A (SCP Foundation)/Reader, SCP-035 (SCP Foundation)/Reader, SCP-079 (SCP Foundation)/Reader, Jack Bright/Reader, Jack Bright/Dr. Simon Glass, Jack Bright/Original Characer(s), Dr. Simon Glass/Reader, Dr. Simon Glass/Original Character(s), Dr. Alto Clef/Original Character(s), SCP-106/Original SCP Character(s) (SCP Foundation), Dr. Benjamin Kondraki/Original Character(s), Dr. Iceberg (SCP Foundation)/Original Character(s)

Additional Tags: one shots, headcanons, Scenarios, mini series, Base Headcanons, Yandere, Yandere Various, Yandere Doctors, Yandere SCP, Yandere Guards, Fluff, Smut, Rule 63, Rule 34, Genderbending, genderbents, Marie - Freeform, Mark - Freeform, Michelle - Freeform

#scp #scp foundation #scp fanfiction #scp fanfic #secure contain protect #fanfic

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yandere-mha · 3 years

Note

You’ve covered things he does that seem patronizing, but what things does Stain do or say that shows his darling how much of a worshipper he is?

Well honestly if you’re his s/o, you’re only going to know the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Stain’s obsession with you. Of course you’ll be aware of it, but his obsession with you is not something he normally expresses unless he feels backed up into a corner in some way (i.e. when he’s getting arrested). He’s not someone like Tamaki who will go on long, romantic rants about you. He’s less verbal with this kind of stuff and he likes to let his actions speak for themselves. The way he tells you he loves you is by how well he protects you. The way that he tells you he can’t stop thinking about you is by knowing things about you only a stalker would know. The way he tells you you’re his is by the way he dominates you. I don’t wanna go so far as to say that he only communicates in grunts but he’s not used to being so co-dependent or close to anyone. He’s so accustomed to being a lone wolf that his social skills aren’t the most developed and he’s not comfortable with being all mushy.

TL;DR - While he constantly thinks about how perfect and ethereal you are, he may not ever verbalize that to you.

#Anonymous

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theyanderespecialist · 2 years

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Gears "Feelings?" 3 (Scenario) Yandere Gears X Darling Iceberg (SCP Foundation)

#yanderedrgears #yandere #yanderescp #yanderescpfoundation #scenarios #scp #scpfoundation #scpdrgears #drgears #drgearsxiceberg #part3

[Hello My Sexy Muffins, now it has been a hot minute since I have done a yandere Gears x darling Iceberg. So I am now doing it I took THREE Hours debating on what the subject matter should be and I landed to start it on Brief touches. So please enjoy this chapter here!]

(Dr. Charles Gears' POV) (Brief Touches)

I looked at Iceberg as he and I are working together. We are sitting so close. We are almost touching. I can feel the cold coming off of him. It makes me wonder what he would feel like. Not just holding hands or laying in bed together. But my cock buried so deep in his tight hole. (SIR!) would he be a bit cold, room temp, or would that part and sweet tight hole of nerves be hot? The ideas of what it could be like were making me become stiff. I clear my head but then I feel it. His hand touches mine. We both reached for the pins at the same time. I continue and get my pen, taking my time to touch his hand with the side of my hand.

He had taken his gloves off and his hand is cool to the touch. I pull back with my pin and I see a startled look on his face. Oh, he is so adorable. I blink at him and then speak.

"We need to get back to work Dr. Iceberg." I tell him and he nods his head grabbing his own pen.

I kept looking at his hand and then mine. We had touched hands. We were one step closer to holding hands. We continue our work and soon it was time for lunch. I hold out my hand to him to help him up. He stares at it but takes it nonetheless. I did not let go of his hand for a good moment. Finally letting go and there was a light blush on his cheek.

I wonder if did he not want to let go? Or was he flustered at the thought of us holding hands? Or was he shy? I did not know for sure but I admit. I LOVE The blush on his cheeks. I want to make him have that crimson blush all over his body while I lick every inch of him.

(GOOD LORD SIR Get laid!)

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter done, I hope that you all enjoyed this and stay sexy all of my muffins!]

#yandere #yandere dr. gears #yandere scp #yandere scp foundation #yandere scenarios #scenarios #scp foundation #scp #scp dr gears #dr gears #dr gears x iceberg #part 3 #darling iceberg

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theunderneath · 2 years

Note

Can we have some yandere Dr. Iceberg headcanons please?

Ah yes, Mr. Anger Issues. Also sorry if this is bad, Dr. Iceberg is kinda hard from me to come up with things on the spot.

“How are you doing today?”

- he’s the kind of yandere that is nice to his darling (to a dagree) and an ass to everyone else. His natural personality is slight cruel anyways, so some of his comments come out as a little harsh. The fucked up thing is that he means them to be harsh, he wants you to be deterred from whatever you're doing. It’s a from of manipulation.

- He is one for physical punishments as well even though he’s a hopeless romantic at heart (His words not mine lol). He’s the yandere that seems sweet and nice until he grabs you a little to tight, holds your hand until it hurts, hugs for a little to long. The yandere that is nice to you until he isn’t.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere male #male yandere x reader #yandere dr iceberg #yandere Ellis Gill #yandere scp foundation #yandere scp

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leah-halliwell92 · 4 years

Text

Safeword

Summary: Go to what has been dubbed the ‘teaser’ XD.

Part 1

The following morning you woke up wrapped in the bedsheets a strip of the peaking sun hitting your face. You reached out subconsciously as you stretched. To your surprise, your searching fingers were met with the chilled torso of your undead boyfriend.

“Good morning darling,” he said sleepily throwing a leg over your hips and pulling you close.

“It really is,” you say just as sleepily nuzzling into his chest letting the hairs there tickle your nose and face, “I’m surprised you're still here.”

He grunted as he pulled you to his chest, “I’m surprised you didn't stay asleep with all the things we did last night.”

You laughed and tangled your legs with his, “Maybe you didn’t wear me out enough.”

He grinned at the suggestive tone in your voice and was ready to take action when your phone buzzed on his bedside table.

“Damn,” he said letting you straddle him to get to your phone.

“Yes" you said both to him and the person on the other side of the line.

“Good morning (Y/N),” a familiar voice said.

“Good morning Mr. Ditton,” you asked professionally trying to keep the annoyance out of your voice as your ex proceeded to call you at the worst possible moment.

“Oh come now you know it’s Alexander,” he purred, “Or better yet Alex.”

You rolled your eyes at this shifting as Dracula sat up.

“What do you need Mr. Ditton,” you said keeping your voice neutral.

“Was wondering when you were going to get here for brunch,” he said arrogantly.

Dracula rolled his eyes but remained quiet as you handled your boss’ son. His hands were on your hips his thumbs massaging circles into your skin giving you something to latch onto to keep your head level.

“I hadn’t been told there was a breakfast on the itinerary for you and the elder Mr. Ditton sir,” you said making a mental note to call your boss if that is the case.

“No need for such formalities (Y/N),” he said in what he thought was an alluring innocent tone, “Especially not with our history.”

You shrunk into yourself some at the memories he'd just triggered. You remembered the nights alone either waiting up for him in his or her apartment or at a bar where he would leave her alone at the bar in exchange for someone with bigger attributes and even willing mouth.

Dracula you shrink and growled deeply pulling you to him pressing his lips to the spot above your breast where your heart is.

You ran the fingers of your free hand through the hair at the base of his neck taking a deep breath as he breath onto your skin. The comforting warmth that ran through you, despite the chill of his body, filled you to the core and giving you a pep in your step.

“Formalities guarantee for nothing to happen again, Sir,” you said shifting so your legs circled Dracula’s waist.

“What makes you think it won't?” He asked on edge at you denying him.

“If that is all sir, I bid you a good day and I’ll see you early tomorrow,” you said ready to hang up.

“Wait, please!” Alexander called out with an emotion you didn’t recognize on him, “I miss you.”

“Sure you do,” you say more to yourself than to him.

“I really do please (Y/N),” he said sounding desperate, “Meet me for breakfast.”

“It is Sunday sir,” you say withholding an exasperated sigh.

“Yea, so?” He asked not catching on, “Did I make you miss church?”

You wanted to throw the phone at the wall but instead you replied with, “My partner just started working the night shift and this is the one weekend we get where he’s off to be together.”

The line went quiet.

You and Dracula exchanged a confused looked.

You called out to the other line and was about to hang up when loud hysterical peels of laughter filtered through the receiver.

“You...” He gasped as he continued laughing, “A partner! That is particularly funny (Y/N).”

You shrunk into yourself as memories you’d long since made peace with filtered through your mind’s eye. His mocking laughter as he saw you getting ready for an event that required him to take a plus one. From then on his verbal abuse only go worse. He’d laugh them off as a joke but he would make them digs that tore at your self confidence like a knife through butter. You heard his jabs at why even bother with makeup, why bother with lingerie that would never make you as attractive as you thought it did.

Dracula saw this and went take the phone when you started listing off names.

“Sonia, Ana, Maggie, Sarah, Donna, Martha...”

“What are you–”

“Samantha, Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary, and let’s not ever forget Irving,” you finished your voice cold as ice your eyes like icebergs non like Dracula had ever seen on you.

“(Y/N)–” Alexandre tried again now seeing he’d struck a chord he never thought you’d have, “Come on babe, you know a man has his needs.”

“Yea, so do I,” you said coldly.

Dracula met your eyes worry heavy on his handsome face.

You smirked coldly at him and said, “Awww what's the matter scared I actually found someone with a better sexual appetite and looks than you?”

“Watch it (Y/N),” he said voice low and what you’d have called dangerous if it weren't for the vampire you were sitting on.

“I work for your father Alexander, not you,” you said getting up from your place on Dracula’s lap, “If you really want to get me fired, you’re going to need to try really hard.”

“(Y–”

You hung up and throw the phone on the love seat I the room before breaking down fully.

You felt cotton sliding on your shoulders, his shirt, and long arms pull you into a tender embrace.

“Calm my love,” Dracula said pressing a kiss to your crown before asking, “Is he the one you mentioned when we started, as you say, going out?”

You nod quietly and turn to face him.

“I need you to understand why he has such a profound effect on me,” you say seriously.

But before he could ask you anything you adjusted his shirt to expose your neck.

“Darling I don't think–” he aid looking more than a little unsure at what you were suggesting.

“Please,” you say near begging, “You know you can feed from me love but I wouldn’t tell you to do it if it weren’t important.”

He didn't like the idea but knew you are right.

“Lay down with me love,” he said seriously clearly not liking what needed to do.

You did as he asked and waited.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked getting in bed next to you and pulling you close.

You nod and offer him your neck once again.

He settled between your legs on top of you his eyes now red and his fangs out.

You dared a peek and stared in wonder eyes wide at this beast who’d effectively stolen your heart against all odds. You reached up and put your hand on his cheek.

“Do I not scare you dear Bride?” He asked his voice low and enticing, dangerous and husky.

You shook your head and pressed a kiss to his lower lip.

He returned your kiss deeply some before nosing at your cheek and kissing his way to your throat.

“I’ll be quick,” he promised before kissing you one more time.

He’d given you dreams before but this one was different. This one showed you standing in the middle of a ballroom. The musicians were playing and you were wearing a stunning ball gown.

“Darling,” Dracula said as he approached you

“My prince,” you said taking his hand.

He pulled you into his arms to dance around the empty ballroom floor where he looked at you like you lit up his life with your mere presence.

“He will not hurt you again,” he vowed as you danced.

You woke with a start wrapped in your partner’s arms his face buried in your neck as the day filtered through his curtains.

“How are you feeling?” He asked as he snuggled into you further.

You ran your hand over his arm where it lay over your middle.

“Please tell me it’s night time,” you said turning to bury your face into his chest.

“I’m sorry dear,” he said hugging you close, “It is five to six.”

“Damn,” you say as you get up and make your way to the bathroom to do your morning routine.

To your surprise Dracula followed you in and did the same which ended up with you sharing your morning shower.

“There’s no play time,” you say with a sad smile as you lean on his tall frame as the warm spray hit your back the contrast of his icy cold skin and the water was a pleasant and comforting combination especially with what you were sure will meet you at the office today.

“Zoe needs me in the foundation today,” he said with a shrug and soft grin, “Meaning I have work to do today as well.”

“Blood tests today Dr. Balaur?” You asked with a smirk.

His smirk grew to a smile as he towered over you.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish Ms. (Y/L/N),” he said pressing his forehead to yours.

“Wouldn't dream of it,” you said running your hands over his chest, “Plus, you owe me tying you down.”

He laughed fully at that and went back to finishing his own shower.

You finished your shower in record time and left him to finish up. You wore your hair in a neat bun and your secretary’s “uniform” looked every bit as professional as was needed.

“On second thought,” you heard from behind you as you were putting on your earrings. You turned to find Dracula in dark wash jeans and a still unbuttoned light blue casual button up.

“Oh no,” you said with a laugh, “I have time to finish my makeup and get some running breakfast before its too late for me to do any of those.”

“Call in sick,” he said running his hands over your skirted waist and hips, “I’ve always wanted to see why ‘hot for teacher’ is such a popular game.”

You straightened up and turned to face him hands on your hips under his with a brow in the air and smirk on your lips.

“Is that so?” you say and make your way to put on your heels.

“Yes...” he said eying you up like a starved man, “Especially in those.”

You looked down at the heels he was pointing at and laughed, “Maybe this weekend should your schedule let us have my way with you.”

He nodded and buttoned up his shirt as he followed you out.

It was his turn to drive so you did the little makeup you wore in the car on the way to work.

“Do you need me to go up with you?” He asked as the car approached the building you worked in.

You wanted to say no but it would all depend on if Alex decided he was going to make a scene and you let him know before deciding, “Why not Danielle has been bugging me to introduce you for weeks now.”

He laughed at that knowing full well your best friend was a force when her mind was set on something.

He parked near the entrance and walked with you into the building your hand in his.

‘Territory claimed Alex, your ass is his,’ you thought fighting a grin.

The elevator stopped a couple of floors before yours and the doors opened to reveal one Alexander Ditton and what looked like his newest conquest walking in.

His eyes nearly bugged out of his skull at the sight of you.

“(Y/N),” he said as he regained some of his brain back.

You nodded cordially and turned to Dracula who had a question on something he had on his phone.

“But how do you even play this?” He asked poking at what looked like a Pokemon.

“Are you playing Pokemon Go?” You asked with a small giggle.

“Luca said it was something curious and I thought I’d give it a try,” he said with a small pout as the pikachu evaded his poke ball again.

“You should have asked me this while we were at dinner yesterday,” you say with a fond shake of your head.

“(Y/N),” Alex interrupted rudely before Dracula could give an answer.

You looked to find a cross Alex looking at you, “Have you met Missy?”

You looked at the young clearly star struck girl and nodded, “Yes, she works the desk across from me. Morning Missy.”

“Morning (Y/N),” she said with a bright smile she shifted her hair back and that’s when you saw the love bite on her neck.

“Missy,” you say and dug through your bag in search of your powder compact, “Here, we don’t need rumors running rampant through the floor.”

She looked at you confused before she saw you motion to your neck on the side her mark is on.

“Oh! Y-yes,” she said taking the powder and dabbing it on carefully.

The ride to your floor was quiet and tense, you could tell Alex was pissed off at what you’d done to him last night but didn’t do anything lest he cause problems with the unknown, to him, man.

Little did he know he’d dug his grave the moment he set foot on the floor...where his father happened to be talking to another of the secretaries.

00//00//00

A/N: Don’t forget to leave feedback, like and reblog peeps!!! And if you want to tagged hit me up!

Dracula Tag-List: @kaddis-world, @count-snackula, @your-pixels-are-showing, @peachlogiic, @the-life-and-times-of-a-nerd, @lokiisbrucebanner, @deny-black, @drsherlockmoffat, @festering-queen, @ashashashashashie, @hoefordarkness, @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels, @glamrockmonarch, @damesteph, @carydorse, @allis143, @break-free-killer-queen, @bloodspatteredprincess, @dracula-s-bride, @disneymarina @thebeautyofdisorder, @purvana, @hyacinth-meadow, @lets-talk-about-claes-baby

#plot grew #why #I don't know #but it did #claes bang #dracula 2020

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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 4 years

Note

Please don’t take this the wrong way, but why do you only ever seemingly promote your friends’ and mutuals’ writing(s)? I mean, you’re all fantastic writers; with a variety of styles and fandoms/topics covered. This is not meant to be an insult, I’m just wondering if there was something that happened that caused you to isolate yourself from a broader range of authors? (I really don’t want to offend, tried to word this delicately/politely)

I really don’t know what to say in response to this. I don’t know what you want me to say. I know that you are trying to be kind, nonny dear, and so I hope that I’m being kind in response. But all I can say is that it’s my blog. My life. My personal space. So I talk about the writers that I enjoy.

If this is in response to the post I just made about Flynn (my darling my love my life), I will point out that I highlighted two fics that write a season three and ignore The Abomination. I don’t know of other fics that do that. I think there were a couple fics that acknowledged the Abomination’s existence and then tried to fix it, but I don’t want to even admit that the Abomination is out there and happened so, there’s that. I wasn’t pointing out every single writer who has ever written about Flynn in a positive way, I was talking about a specific kind of fic tackling a specific situation.

And I will furthermore point out that Squid, who wrote Make Amends With All My Shadows, is a lovely person but not a friend of mine. She and I are not mutuals. We’ve spoken… I think twice.

Furthermore, I do not read the writings of my friends because they are my friends. I became friends with them because I liked their writing. So.

What you see me reblog of my friends’ writings is actually a very very small portion of the fic that I read. I am active in fandoms that I never post about on my tumblr, because I choose not to. That’s my choice. I don’t want people to know I’m active in those fandoms on other platforms. I have three sideblogs that nobody who follows me on this blog knows about (until now) and I’m not sharing the names of those blogs or what fandoms I’m in on them. I’m not isolating myself. Just because you see the tip of the iceberg doesn’t mean you see the full thing. Ask the Titanic.

Sorry, my autistic brain is obsessed with honesty and facts so I just had to clarify those things. I hope that wasn’t annoying. So tl;dr: I have a right to choose what I want to post and reblog and talk about on here, and these are the fics and people I’ve chosen to post and reblog and talk about.

#mads answers things #somebody's gonna drag me out back and shoot me for this response #I don't know who but someone is #I can just sense it #I really don't know how to answer this ask #but at the same time I feel like I have to give a response #I reblog and talk about the fics that I enjoy #I don't know what else to say #it's as simple as that #and I'm lucky that I've become friends with some of the fic writers I admire #I feel like I need to show nonny my 10+ years in fandom #and show what a lurker I am #lol

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phroyd · 5 years

Link

This is an Amazing Verdict! - Phroyd

BOSTON — A federal jury on Thursday found the top executives of Insys Therapeutics, a company that sold a fentanyl-based painkiller, guilty of racketeering charges in a rare criminal prosecution that blamed corporate officials for contributing to the nation’s opioid epidemic.

The jury, after deliberating for 15 days, issued guilty verdicts against the company’s founder, the onetime billionaire John Kapoor, and four former executives, finding they had conspired to fuel sales of its highly potent drug, Subsys, by not only bribing doctors to prescribe their product but also by misleading insurers about patients’ need for the drug.

The verdict against Insys executives is a sign of the accelerating effort to hold pharmaceutical and drug distribution companies and their executives and owners accountable in ways commensurate with the devastation wrought by the prescription opioid crisis. More than 200,000 people have overdosed on such drugs in the past two decades.

Federal authorities last month for the first time filed felony drug trafficking charges against a major pharmaceutical distributor, Rochester Drug Cooperative, and two former executives, accusing them of shipping tens of millions of oxycodone pills and fentanyl products to pharmacies that were distributing drugs illegally.

And the state attorneys general of Massachusetts and New York have recently sued not just Purdue Pharma, the maker of OxyContin, but also members of the Sackler family who own the company — and who have largely escaped personal legal penalties for the company’s role in the epidemic, culpability they deny.

Also on Thursday, the state of West Virginia reached a $37 million settlement in a lawsuit against the McKesson Corporation, one of the nation’s leading drug distributors, which was accused of shipping nearly 100 million doses of opioids to residents over a six-year period.

Experts said the Insys verdict could encourage other corporate prosecutions and said it demonstrated that the public was willing to mete out penalties for high-level executives at companies profiting from the sales of highly addictive painkillers.

“Just as we would street-level drug dealers, we will hold pharmaceutical executives responsible for fueling the opioid epidemic by recklessly and illegally distributing these drugs, especially while conspiring to commit racketeering along the way,” said Andrew E. Lelling, the United States attorney in Massachusetts who pursued the case.

Abbe Gluck, a Yale law professor, said “the case paints a picture of the kind of troubling industry practices that helped fuel the opioid epidemic.” And the verdict “shows that a jury is willing to punish for them.”

The federal government had previously brought civil racketeering charges against drug companies for promoting their drugs for unapproved uses, said Richard C. Ausness, a law professor at the University of Kentucky who has been tracking opioid cases. Bringing criminal racketeering charges, he said, “raises the stakes by a lot.”

“This could be the tip of the iceberg as far as drug company misconduct is concerned,” he said.

During the 10-week trial, federal prosecutors had detailed Insys’s audacious marketing plan — which included paying doctors for sham educational talks and luring others with lap dances — to spur sales of Subsys, an under-the-tongue spray approved to treat patients with cancer.

Company executives were accused of paying doctors to write prescriptions for a much wider pool of patients than the drug was approved for, and of misleading insurance companies so they would cover the potent and pricey medication. With the drug’s sales soaring, Insys became a darling of Wall Street, generating annual sales at one point of more than $300 million.

In addition to Mr. Kapoor, the other executives found guilty were Richard M. Simon, the former national director of sales; Sunrise Lee and Joseph A. Rowan, both former regional sales directors; and Michael J. Gurry, former vice president of managed markets. Lawyers for the defendants either did not comment or said they planned to appeal.

The former chief executive, Michael L. Babich, had pleaded guilty to conspiracy and mail fraud charges.

Beth Wilkinson, a lawyer for Dr. Kapoor, said she and her client were disappointed in the verdict. “Four weeks of jury deliberations confirm that this was far from an open-and-shut case,” she said in a statement. “We will continue the fight to clear Dr. Kapoor’s name.”

Jackie Marcus, a spokeswoman for Insys, said the verdict was not representative of the company’s mission, but only reflected the “actions of a select few former employees of the company.”

One of the few other criminal cases against drug company executives involved another opioid manufacturer, Purdue Pharma, whose executives pleaded guilty in 2007 to criminal charges that they misled regulators, doctors and patients about the addiction potential of the painkiller OxyContin.

At the Insys trial, the government suggested that executives at the Arizona-based company often operated like drug dealers and that Mr. Kapoor was the ringleader.

“The decisions, the money, the strategy came from the top,” K. Nathaniel Yeager, a federal prosecutor, said during closing arguments.

Details of Insys’s strategy from 2012 to 2015 to target doctors and allegedly bribe them have been revealed in lawsuits and news reportsfor about five years. The trial of Mr. Kapoor and his four co-defendants has brought to light the extent to which the schemes permeated the entire company and its national sales team.

Former Insys sales representatives, testifying for the prosecution, said their bonuses were tied to the dosages of Subsys prescribed by the doctors they recruited. The higher the dose, the higher the bonus. Evidence presented in court showed that sales representatives had to justify low doses to their boss within 24 hours.

Not only did Subsys cost more at higher doses, but patients were also more likely to become dependent on the highly addictive medication. Subsys is up to 100 times more potent than morphine. Abuse of fentanyl, especially black-market versions imported from overseas, have increasingly contributed to the opioid epidemic.

Alec Burlakoff, the former vice president of sales at Insys, pleaded guilty to one count of racketeering conspiracy. He wrote in an email read at trial that patients on high doses would be desirable because they “will continuously refill their monthly prescriptions indefinitely.” Court filings in a separate case suggest Purdue Pharma, the maker of OxyContin, pursued a similar strategy.

Two Insys sales representatives made a rap video in 2015 about titration, the technique used to increase a patient’s dose. The main lyric: “I love titrations, and it’s not a problem. I got new patients, and I got a lot of them.” The video, in which the salesmen dance alongside a person in a Subsys dispenser costume, was shown at a national Insys sales staff meeting where Mr. Kapoor was present.

Testimony from government witnesses suggested there were few limits to what the Insys sales team was willing to do. Mr. Burlakoff, who testified for the prosecution as part of a plea deal, said the company purposefully targeted doctors with a history of liberally prescribing opioids. “Pill mills, for us, meant dollar signs,” he told the jury. “It was not run the other way. It was run to the pill mills.”

Holly Brown, a former Insys sales representative in the Chicago area, testified that she saw her boss, Ms. Lee, a former exotic dancer, give a doctor a lap dance hoping it would encourage him to prescribe Subsys.

After doctors had prescribed Subsys, the company focused on persuading insurance companies to cover the drug, which can cost thousands of dollars a month. Jurors heard recorded calls from the Insys Reimbursement Center in which employees posed as doctors’ assistants and invented diagnoses that would smooth the approval process.

“Insurers were told about medical things that never happened,” Mr. Yeager told the jury. “They told deception after deception after deception on recorded lines.”

While the legal strategy may be noteworthy, evidence has emerged that aggressive marketing of opioids is far from unique to Insys.

In a similar effort to hold individuals accountable, the attorneys general in New York and Massachusetts have recently turned their attention to the Sacklers, the family that controls Purdue, filing lawsuits that allege members of the family pushed their company to aggressively sell opioids like OxyContin, despite the high risk for addiction.

There have been nearly 218,000 overdose deaths related to prescription opioids since OxyContin was introduced in 1996, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Insys has struggled to move past its legal troubles. The company’s stock currently trades at around $4 per share, down from a high in 2015 of nearly $45, and it has disclosed to investors that it is at risk of going out of business. Last month, the company — which also sells a liquid form of an anti-nausea drug derived from cannabis — announced it was replacing its president and chief executive, Saeed Motahari, who had joined the company in 2017.

Phroyd

#health #opioids #criminals

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lilacmoon83 · 5 years

Text

Finding You Always

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 178: One Less Problem

Snow released a calming breath, as they spent their short lunch break together outside the Courthouse. It was a warm day and they had sneaked over to a park bench nearby. The press was occupied so far with interviewing Clayton, who was soaking up the limelight they were shining on him. That was just fine, for Snow and David wanted nothing to do with it and were thankful the reporters hadn't noticed them yet. Instead, they focused on each other and spending a few quiet moments together. Snow sat in his lap, resting her head on his shoulder, as they talked softly and occasionally exchanged kisses.

"I hate that you had to relive all those nights that you spent in that cell," he mentioned.

"I know...but it's over now. I just wish it was over for you too. They're going to grill you," she feared.

"I'll be fine, because I'll have the same thing that you had," he replied, as he took her hand and looked up at her.

"I'll have you to look at and you always give me the strength I need to do anything," he responded, as he gently cupped her beautiful face, as she sniffed.

"My darling...what is it?" he asked.

"It's silly," she replied. He smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Your feelings are never silly," he reminded.

"It's just...we don't deserve any of this," she said.

"Of course we don't," he added.

"I just mean...the things they are publishing about us in some of those tabloids…" she lamented.

"Snow...those publications are pure trash," he chided.

"I know...I know...that's what I keep telling myself. But Charming...you didn't read some of the things they are publishing about you. I mean, I always thought men were the only ones that objectified women...but…" she trailed off. He sighed.

"Snow...I don't care what they are saying about me. I'm yours," he said.

"I know that...I know you have never had eyes for another woman, but then I think back to all those nights when I was crying for you and I wondered if you had been cursed to be with someone else," she muttered.

"I wasn't...I was pining for my Margaret, which we both know is really you," he replied.

"Which isn't completely fair to you. If I really was gone...I'd want you to be happy," she confessed.

"And I would find happiness in seeing you through our children. But moving on? Snow...that's not possible for me. The sun and the moon set with you," he confessed.

"I know...it's the same for me," she revealed.

"Then are you really bothered by what they are saying? I know this is a different kind of adversity than we've faced before, but are you really letting some gossip mongers question how much you mean to me?" he asked.

"I know how much you love me...I've never questioned that," she insisted.

"Then what is it?" he asked.

"I just feel like that if you were cursed to be with someone else and I had come back into your life, I would have wrecked it completely," she replied.

"I won't deny that it wouldn't have been a mess, but my darling, you know that I'd always want you. No matter how many cursed memories they managed to put in my head...my heart would never forget you or the way I feel when I'm with you," he said.

"I know...and I would never doubt that, but when I read how they were claiming you got saddled with a mess like me, I wasn't sure I could deny that," she murmured. But he shook his head in vehemence.

"You are not a mess and even if you were, you are my mess. Do you really think you're not enough for me?" he asked in disbelief. She sniffed.

"I guess my time in Dr. Samdi's care did more damage to me than I thought," she replied tearfully. His half heart broke at that and he kissed her fiercely.

"Then when we get home and we will...I want you to start seeing Archie, but there is one thing I can tell with absolute certainty right now," he said, as their lips parted and he looked soulfully into her green eyes.

"Not enough for me? You are everything I'm ever going to need or want beyond my wildest dreams!" he exclaimed. She sniffed and smiled at him.

"I know...I've never doubted your love. I think everything just got to me and then those stupid articles were right in front of me and you know it's like a train wreck to me. I have to read them and then the things they were talking about...I mean they were discussing you. You know, how handsome you are and certain things about your anatomy...and what kind of lover you might be," she said. He rolled his eyes.

"Oh God…" he said in disgust and then sighed.

"I know...I told you it was beyond silly. I'm used to other women looking at you...they just usually make sure I'm out of earshot before they start...discussing you," she added with a giggle. He sighed.

"Well...look at it this way: they'll never know, cause baby you're the only that's ever gonna know the answer to those questions," he said, as he wriggled his eyebrows at her, making her giggle.

"I am," she realized, as she kissed him.

"Mmm...you don't think I've had insecurities about whether or not I'm good enough for you in the past?" he asked. She sighed.

"I know you have, but you shouldn't," she protested.

"You're a Princess...and everyone knows that I'm not a real Prince. They call you the fairest of them all, for Gods sakes. Believe me, there were times when I wondered why you chose me. You don't think I've never noticed the way other men look at you?" he asked. She shrugged.

"I never noticed. I guess we have both always been too busy absorbed by each other to notice any of that nonsense," she replied.

"Exactly...they can print whatever garbage they want in their trashy magazines, but we know the truth and that's why I'm not afraid to get up on that stand today. Because all people are going to hear is the truth about how much I love you and how you were stolen from me. And how evil that man is," he said, as he kissed her passionately again, making her swoon and feel lightheaded.

Unfortunately, it was nearly time to go back and the reporters were now finished with Clayton, only to hone in on them and during a kiss no less. David growled low in his throat, as the intrusive reporters snapped photos of them kissing and Snow in his lap, no less. They stood up and he kept his arm firmly hooked around her waist, as they hurried back toward the courthouse, even as they volleyed their ridiculous questions.

"Detective Nolan...do you have a response to Mr. Stavros' invitation to his gala tonight?" a reporter questioned. Snow and David hurried along back to the courthouse without commenting, knowing that anything they said would be taken out of context.

"Detective...it was indicated by Mr. Stavros that he may seek damages against the department for defamation of his character, citing you as the main reason. How do you respond?" another questioned and he clenched his fist, as they kept walking, especially when they saw Seraphina there, known as reporter Phoebe Cooper in this world, intent on harassing them, especially his wife.

"Detective...if you and your crazy wife have nothing to hide, then why do you continue to refuse to talk to us," she asked. Snow squeezed his hand and her eyes pleaded with him not to respond.

"It doesn't matter what they say, my love…" she whispered to him. He sighed and they hurried inside the courtroom and the press was thankfully barred from entering again. But he knew what faced him on the stand, however, he would face anything for her and his family, especially if it meant helping to make sure Clayton went to prison.

"Court will come to order," the Judge stated, as she slammed the gavel down. So far, the Judge had remained biased for the most part, but knowing that her real identity was that of Madam Leota made him skeptical that it would stay that way.

"The state may call their next witness," she continued.

"Thank you, Your Honor. The state calls Detective David Nolan to the stand," Amara announced. Snow squeezed his hand and he went up to the witness box.

"Detective...can you please describe the first time you met Clayton Stavros?" she asked. Weaver had warned him about this question and fortunately, the curse had created an entire background between him and Clayton that had been inserted into police records upon the inception of the curse, so David made sure he read through everything to make sure he knew all the facts and that they would match the records. The events they were going to discuss never actually happened, but David knew Clayton wouldn't refute any part of it, for he would seem like the crazy one if he told people how they had really met and how Clayton himself was hundreds of years old. He knew the Collector would go along with this narrative to protect his own interests and David could only hope that in turn, it would help put him behind bars.

"It was years ago and I was a very young detective. I was involved in stopping illegal contraband from coming into the country down at the docks. Among the illegal items were artifacts and items that we determined likely belonged in a museum," he explained.

"What did you do?" Amara asked.

"Those involved in overseeing the items being brought into the country were arrested, but we quickly determined that they were just underlings. Captain Weaver determined that the artifacts were in fact stolen from museums overseas. That's when he assigned me to investigate," he answered. He knew this story was fabricated, but Clayton wouldn't refute any of these claims, for it was not in his best interest for people to discover who he really was.

"And where did that investigation lead you?" she asked.

"It led me to Mr. Stavros and his museum. He was intent on adding these stolen artifacts to his collection by any means necessary," David revealed, as the two men glared at each other. Part of him wished he could tell the truth and everything Clayton had put them through. He wished he could tell them that the hell they had put his wife through at the hands of Dr. Samdi was only the tip of the iceberg. He wished he could tell everyone that this man had kidnapped them, held them captive as living trophies, seen to his own torture he had endured to protect his family, and then his forcing Snow to crush his heart to cast a curse to save everyone. But this was the real world where, as far as they knew, magic and curses didn't exist. But evil did and he was determined to make the jury see the evil that he saw beneath his stupid, smug grin.

"Did you arrest, Mr. Stavros at that point?" she asked.

"No…" he replied.

"Why not?" she asked.

"There wasn't enough evidence for a warrant. Mr. Stavros is very good at keeping his own hands clean while he hires other to do his dirty work," David answered.

"Objection, Your Honor. Detective Nolan's opinion has no validity here, nor does the grudge he holds against me client!" Chad protested.

"Sustained. The Jury will disregard that last statement," the Judge ordered.

"So...you've never been able to formally arrest Mr. Stavros on criminal charges of smuggling and grand theft, due to lack of evidence?" Amara asked.

"Correct," David stated.

"And you believe your numerous attempts to catch him created this bad blood between you that ultimately led to his participation in the abduction of your wife and son, as well as his forgery of documents stating he was your wife's brother, in order to keep her in Dr. Samdi's care?" she asked.

"Yes...he wanted revenge on me and he knew the only way to truly hurt me was through my wife and my family," David answered.

"Objection...speculation," Chad interjected.

"Sustained. These are not essay questions, Detective. Please restrict your answers to yes or no," the Judge ordered.

"In fact, you believe Mr. Stavros sought retaliation against you just after you discovered your wife and son were alive and proved he forged papers, is that correct?" Amara asked.

"Yes," he answered.

"Can you tell the Court why?" she asked.

"Just after I brought Margaret and Bobby home where they belonged, a man broke into our daughter's room and held her at knife point," David responded.

"Objection...relevance?" Chad questioned.

"I am getting there, Your Honor," Amara protested.

"Overruled. Make your point quickly, Counselor," the Judge ordered.

"How awful...do you think this thug was sent by Mr. Stavros in revenge?" Amara asked.

"Objection Your Honor!" Chad protested.

"Withdrawn...no further questions," Amara replied, as she took her seat, while Chad approached the witness box.

"Detective Nolan...is it safe to say that you're incredibly angry at my client," Chad questioned.

"Of course I am," David answered.

"Do you want revenge on my client?" Chad asked.

"Objection Your Honor...it is not Detective Nolan that is on trial here," Amara protested.

"It's a valid question, Your Honor. The witness just admitted his anger toward my client," Chad argued.

"Sustained, the witness will answer the question," the Judge ordered.

"No...I want to see justice done and that means that he goes to prison for what he did," David responded. Chad shrugged.

"Some would say there is a fine line between justice and revenge. I know if it were me and someone took the woman I loved from me...I'd certainly want more than justice," he surmised.

"Objection...again, Detective Nolan is not the one on trial!" Amara interjected.

"Overruled. Change your line of questioning, Counselor," the Judge ordered.

"My apologies again, Your Honor. Your wife testified that Dr. Samdi's claims of her dissociative identity disorder is completely falsified, yet before her alleged abduction, it was a tumultuous time in your marriage, correct?" Chad asked.

"No...our marriage has never been anything but solid and amazing," David refuted.

"Let me rephrase then. The tumultuous period involved a man stalking your wife, which Dr. Samdi referenced in his memoir as a possible cause for your wife's dissociation from reality," he replied.

"My wife did have a stalker; a Professor that she worked with and her rejection of him caused him to get violent. Mr. Stavros used that situation as a ruse to take my wife and son on the night of that accident," David explained.

"And the accident you are referring to is the one in which this Professor drove his car off a cliff with your wife and son inside and subsequently the event that led you to believe they were dead?" Chad questioned.

"Yes," David answered.

"Yet there is no real evidence that my client had anything to do with the doctor that committed this horrific act," Chad stated.

"No...but he used it to take Margaret and Bobby, leading me to believe they were dead!" David exclaimed.

"Allegedly," Chad corrected.

"He forged documents that gave him custody of our son and power of attorney over my wife. Not alleged," David argued.

"Yes...and how did you obtain my client's DNA in order to prove those documents were forged?" Chad questioned. David glared at the man, knowing exactly where he was going.

"So illegally?" Chad pressed.

"No...I obtained it from his museum, which is a very public place, as he always advertises," David retorted.

"That seems to be splitting hairs," Chad accused.

"Objection! The Detective followed normal police procedure in this matter and obtained the DNA from a public place as stated," Amara argued.

"Your Honor, the state cannot prove that Detective Nolan obtained his sample from an actual public part of the museum and not say a more private one," Chad argued back.

"Neither can the defense," Amara stated.

"I'm reluctantly inclined to agree with the district attorney, but the state is teetering on the edge here," the Judge warned.

"Your Honor, I move that the forgery charges against my client be thrown out," Chad proposed.

"There is no basis for that, Your Honor. The sample was obtained legally," Amara argued.

"I will review the validity of the sample in chambers after today's hearing and determine such myself," the Judge decided, as Chad moved to continue with his questioning.

"Detective...is it true that you would do absolutely anything for your wife?" he questioned.

"Of course...she's everything to me, as are our children," David answered.

"So it wouldn't be too much to speculate that you would employ any means to obtain that DNA sample, even if it meant doing so illegally to protect her from Mr. Stavros?!" he shouted.

"Objection...he's badgering!" Amara protested.

"Withdrawn...no further questions," Chad said, obviously a bit frustrated and David was the one that got to smirk smugly at the Collector this time.

"That will be all today and we will pick up at nine am tomorrow morning," the Judge ordered, as she dismissed them.

"What the hell...I thought you said you could discredit him," Clayton growled.

"Most of the time I can. Cops are usually easy to get juries to mistrust...but he's different. The jury just eats them up and are obviously enamored by the romance between he and his wife. He's charismatic...so much so that the Jury seems willing to ignore how he got the DNA and focus on the fact that he did it for love," Chard surmised.

"Yes...he's quite charming," Clayton agreed distastefully.

"A trial scientist would find all of this absolutely fascinating," Chad replied.

"Well, I don't find it fascinating!" Clayton growled.

"Relax...the Judge may still rule in our favor on the forgery charges and I've done my homework on this Cassidy Gold that you are accused of putting a hit on. He's a small time thief...and I found someone that will testify that Weaver helped him out financially," Chad replied.

"And you think it will be enough to get an acquittal on the murder charges?" Clayton questioned.

"They have Cassidy Gold's word as their evidence and little more, nor do they have substantial proof of any business mis-dealings or smuggling on your part," Chad said, as they exited the courtroom and saw that Amara was speaking with Weaver, looking very pleased. She walked up to them and handed a file to Chad.

"What's this?" he asked.

"New evidence that the state will be entering in tomorrow and witnesses that will be testifying tomorrow," she replied. His brow furrowed, as he looked at the file and she walked away.

"What is it?" Clayton asked, his smug demeanor finally cracking slightly, as he couldn't hide the trepidation in his voice.

"A problem," Chad replied.

"I can't believe this," David lamented.

"Baby...it's not your fault," Snow soothed.

"The Judge might throw out the forgery charge, Snow. That was our ace in the hole. The rest of our case is circumstantial, because we haven't been able to get any evidence that he was calling the shots when he put that hit on Neal...Cassidy," David said, correcting himself at the last part.

"But we might have just got a huge break," Weaver interjected, as he motioned them to a nearby conference room to discuss something.

"You found evidence?" David asked, with rapt attention.

"Not me...you can thank Belle and her love of research. I don't know how she did it, but she kept digging until she found something," he replied.

"Apparently, the FBI has been quietly investigating the stealing of several prized artifacts obtained illegally from the Yucatan Peninsula, most significantly, Jade statues that have been dated back to the Mayans. Recently, these were supposed to find their way into a museum, but were stolen without a trace," Weaver reported.

"Clayton," David surmised.

"His daughter has been busy since we got to this land two years ago, but they recently caught a break and a video surfaced. My guess is that someone in his operation got careless," Weaver responded.

"Do you think we can connect it to Clayton?" David asked.

"It would be a stretch, but I have called in a favor and two FBI agents have agreed to help us if I can convince a Judge that this photo of Cecily is enough to get a warrant for his museum," Weaver replied.

"That's great...but will a Judge see it as enough evidence for a warrant?" David asked.

"No...but that's where the FBI comes in. Remember those two agents that were trapped in our town years ago?" he asked. Snow's eyes widened.

"Angela and Nick?" she asked. He nodded.

"They weren't specific, but they have something on a Judge here in Seattle, and are willing to overlook it if they can solve this smuggling case. They'll get the warrant and because I asked nicely, they're also going to testify that they believe Clayton was involved. It may be enough for the Jury to convict on the existing charges. And even if it isn't, the FBI will be going after him and his daughter," Weaver said. Snow and David smiled.

"That's amazing...we got him," David said, as he remembered something else he had just said.

"Wait...they agreed to help, because you were nice? That doesn't sound like you," he quipped.

"Charming…" Snow chided.

"What...it's true. He's not nice and I have no tact. Those are facts," he joked. Weaver rolled his eyes.

"Belle was nice...and I reminded them that Regina and your kids didn't have to help them get their hearts back after they helped bring Yzma to town," he clarified.

"That sounds more like it," David agreed.

"The important thing is that it will, with any luck, neutralize Clayton. Then we just have Facilier and Gothel to deal with, as well as breaking the curse and getting home, of course," Weaver replied. Snow blew out a breath.

"I know I'm always the optimistic one...but even with Clayton out of the picture, that's daunting," she mentioned. He put his arm around her and kissed her hair.

"I know, my darling...but we're going to defeat them all and we're going to find a way home, I promise," he stressed.

"But right now, we're going to let the legal system work for us against Clayton and we're going to go watch our daughter do what she loves," he said, referring to the recital that would be starting in less than two hours. She smiled, as he kissed her tenderly and she then hooked her hand on his elbow. They followed Weaver out the back way of the Courthouse at that point and left this behind for today. If there was one thing about them, it was that they were able to be happy, as long as they were together, no matter where and their love always seemed to win out over anything.

~*~

"This place is so different from Storybrooke," Elsa mentioned.

"I know...I definitely miss home," Leo replied, as she squeezed his hand.

"You must miss the reserve so much," she said. He nodded.

"I do...I'm worried that I'll never see it again," he replied.

"No...we will see it again. We'll find a way to get home to the future. Remember, Anna, Kristoff and I managed to get to the past, which means there is a way back to the future," she assured. He sighed and kissed her tenderly.

"You have no idea how grateful I am that you're here. I...I hate what happened during the curse," he lamented. Elsa took his hands in her own.

"What he did to you...he had no right. He's lucky someone else got to him before I could or I would have made him pay for what he did," Elsa said.

"The important thing is he's gone and you're right, we will find a way back," he agreed, as they continued on and soon arrived at Iris' school for her recital. He knew his parents, siblings, and Regina would be along to. They still had a lot to figure out, but he knew his parents were right; taking time to see Summer do something she loved was exactly what they all needed.

~*~

Regina looked up at her sister, who had been texting quite a bit for the last hour, with Chad she assumed.

"Are you sure you're okay with working for me tonight?" she asked. The redhead shrugged.

"I'll be fine...it looks like Chad is going to be working late," she muttered.

"Oh? Problems?" Regina inquired and Kelly rolled her eyes.

"If you must know...his client may be facing more than he thought and there are new things for him to go over," she replied.

"That's too bad...for Chad anyway. If it means Clayton Stavros is going down, then that's a bonfire I'll be bringing marshmallows to," Regina replied. Kelly scoffed.

"Smug doesn't look very good on you. Chad doesn't lose many cases," she warned.

"Maybe not...but this is one he should lose," Roni replied, as she left the bar to attend Iris' recital. She was anxious to talk to Snow and David too, especially if there was something new in the case against Clayton. She hoped beyond anything that might actually make him pay for all he had done. Then the next obstacle was getting Zelena to remember who she was and finding the amulet, before Gothel could get her hands on it. She blew out a stifled breath

"I hope you found that smoking gun, Weaver, because if Clayton goes to jail, that will be one less problem in our way to going home," she murmured to herself, as she merged into traffic.

#Snowing #SnowxCharming #Charming family #OC Charmings #AU #Snowing & Charming family centric season 7 #Hyperion Heights #Weaver #Roni #romance #family #adventure #finding you always #the epic continues

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sportsanimebreakdown · 6 years

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Breakdown: Initial D

Okay a lot of new fans of the genre will find this a weird one. Not because of the cars (which are aMAZing) or the character designs (which are not) but because the series -along with its ridiculous eurobeat soundtrack- is practically legendary. The memes make themselves. But even the memes are done with good humor because, to be optimistic, I’d say that the fans are very whole-heartedly enthusiastic. (In a pessimistic way, I’d say that the story reinforces a lot of ideas of gender roles and the fantasy of an effortless traditional masculinity and its dual, serving femininity.)

But I digress. Let’s get into the breakdown.

SPOILER FREE ZONE

Initial D: manga 1995-2013 by Shuichi Shigeno, 5 season of episodes alongside at least 4 movies and three OVAs, it’s a big one.

Tropes: Undiscovered Genius, Unbeatable Hero, Technical Sport, Cardboard Women, Teaming Up With Rival

Not-Your-Wikipedia-Summary: Fujiwara Takumi is a kid who’s been doing the deliveries for his dad’s tofu company (illegally) since middle school. Flying through the mountain pass in the wee hours of the morning, he’s developed, unbeknownst to him (though known to his ex-racer father), a killer instinct and technique for mountain pass racing (touge racing). When he trips into the racing scene by defeating one bigshot after another, it leaves everyone watching shook. He’s in for the long haul now, whether he likes it or not.

TL;DR Review: First off, I’d say if you want to get into this series, watch the three “Mugen” (Legendary) movies that have just recently been made because they go back and cover the battles and key plot points of the first few seasons of the series. Why would you do this instead of watching the actual seasons? Because they look like this-

It’s pretty bad. And you haven’t even heard the earworm beats they put this to. Just youtube it, dudes.

It gets better as the seasons go on, and I have to admit that there’s a certain “it’s so bad it’s good” quality about the first season, but yeah if you’re used to the quality of modern anime, definitely watch the movies.

That said, the story holds up well. Maybe it’s because ‘undiscovered genius’ is a catnip trope of mine, but I think it’s still a lot of fun. Unlike a lot of other sports in the genre, racing is a one-man sport so it’s much closer, pacing and story-wise, to something like Hajime no Ippo rather than a team-based story like Haikyuu or Slam Dunk. But, unlike in boxing, Takumi can team up with his rivals, as he does in the later seasons when he joins an expeditionary team.

The female characters, as I’ll get into later, are terribly written. This is one of those series where I skip all the parts where there’s a female onscreen, because they’re so problematic (emotionally weak, bad drivers, two-dimensional, only there to be a sexual/romantic target for a male character) that I’d rather skip them then cringe through them. Like ewoks in Star Wars, I’d rather just pretend they don’t exist than have that shit shoved in my face.

So yeah. Fun story, great races, it’s a classic. Like the Great British Baking Show, it’ll get you seriously into shit that you may never have thought you’d get into.

I’d like to think that’s the first time Initial D has been compared to the GBBO on the internet, and I want some credit for that, thank you.

PS: I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention how huge an impact this series has had on the street-racing and rally-racing scene, by the way. I’ve only heard about the tip of the iceberg, but this series has gotten a shitton of people interested in drift racing and the AE86, Takumi’s car model. Drifting is a thing in large part due to this series. Which I FUCKING LOVE cuz it shows the power of comics.

Objective Score: 6/10 and all of those points are for how awesome the races are. The character development exists insofar as each character has a trope that they represent and stick to, but it’s really just the backdrop for a whole lot of car nerddom and awesome racing.

Personal Score: 8/10 Excepting the ewoks, it will and always will be one of my favs. It helped get me into driving and cars in my teens and earned a spot in one of my top ten by that merit alone.

SPOILER ZONE

Full Thoughts: OKAY. I’ve loved this series for so long that it’s hard to feel that glow again, but I thought that since I’d gone back to watch it again (in between drawing pages and needing a break for the goddamn stress injury in my drawing hand) I might as well do a breakdown.

First off, can we give HUGE PROPS to Shuichi-sensei who somehow manages to make weird-shaped boxes zipping around corners LOOK DYNAMIC? Like how the fuck did he do that srsly

...haha for a moment there you thought I hadn’t actually analyzed it yet. Well joke’s on you cuz oF COURSE I HAVE. It’s actually not super complicated: Japanese sound effects, being one or two-characters long, means that they can be used more easily as visual onomatopoeia for the texture of the sound it’s conveying. He uses that a lot. Then there’s the motion lines and an ability to draw any fucking car from any angle and BOOM there you have it.

But on the flip side, his characters look like this so.... win some, lose some.

In regards to the issues with the women I discussed earlier... well. I can count on one hand with a pinky still left over how many actual female characters who last more than a wink-and-a-nod there are. There’s so few, I can tell you exactly who they are: first is the highschool popular girl who has a crush on Takumi for some strange reason we never discover (and who has Drama because she had a sugar daddy for a long time). Then there are the two-women-who-count-as-one-driver (???) driving team who take on Takumi early on. One of them has Relationship Drama with Takumi’s friend, and the other (an intimidatingly Mature Woman) starts crushing on/hitting on Takumi, providing us with the typical madonna/whore dynamic with Takumi’s crush that Japanese media seems to require even more than American. AND THEN we have the shit cherry on the shit cake, a female driver in the later season who’s actually talented (heyhey!) but OH WAIT she has insta-crush for Keisuke, Takumi’s rival and team partner, and she is now Emotionally Compromised for racing and.... also a total stalker and weirdo and if I hear her say ‘Darling’ one more time to a man who has no interest in her, I’m gonna report her to some sort of HR. EDIT: OH WAIT I forgot there’s two chicks who exist to be relationship bait for Takumi’s loser friend. One of them lasts like 3 whole episodes.

And that’s it! In probably the only sport where it’s impossible to have any kind of gender-based advantage or separation (such as in school sports, where there are girls’ teams and boys’ teams) there are only FOUR WOMEN in the entire series, and of those women only two of them actually drive.

It’s frustrating how common this is, and how it goes by so unquestioned. I mean, it wouldn’t be hyperbole to say that this series changed the sport it’s about. It popularized drifting, probably got a lot of young men traffic tickets, and got me into buying a junker to tear apart with my dad while he pointed at all the parts and taught me what they did.

What else could it have done? What seriously badass female drivers would we have if the author had just not let his misogyny get in the way? “But that’s what the racing is like, man!” someone in the back yells. To which I reply: Shuichi is a STORYTELLER. If he’s big in the racing scene and looks around and says “huh not many women here” it should be in his creative best interest to ask “well what if there were?” Storytellers are here to envision what the world could be, not to enforce the prejudiced systems that are already in place. If he can imagine a 17-year-old kid being able to beat a gazillion 30-somethings at drift racing with no formal driving education, then he can damn well imagine a talented driver with tits who doesn’t exist solely for the sake of sexual interest.

But as they say... if you want something done, you gotta get it the fuck done yourself.

#initial D #anime review #sexism in anime #hello patriarchy #sports anime #breakdown

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shirohibiki · 7 years

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KRUSTY KRAB PIZZA ANON, THY WILL BE DONE. i hate this so much like usual and i’m sorry like usual and i’m sorry it took so long like usual. i always do this smh. :/ anyway, anon asked me to do something related to the krusty krab pizza episode. this is dedicated to my darling @salvagedmoose for their birthday, so happy birthday!!! I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, AND SAME GOES TO ANON AND EVERYONE ELSE <3333

tom ‘IT TOOK THREE DAYS TO MAKE THIS POTATO SALAD!’ smith is throwing yet another tantrum over his food at the krusty krab, taking out his aggression on spongebob. (i had no idea his last name was smith but apparently it is) spongebob is obviously upset by this, and squidward is infuriated by it -- instead of bloodying his knuckles this time, though, he goes to see if he can comfort his neighbor.

it’s actually fascinating how i always write the literal same thing. i don’t get it omfg. this fic is pre-relationship, and while the feelings between them aren’t entirely mentioned, they’re certainly there. not necessarily part of the main storyline, just a one-off. as a note, i had sort of wanted to change rats into some sort of sea creature, but i couldn’t think of any that fit the pun of the movie title, so... i guess... they’re sea rats, or something.

written for my spongebob human AU, info here

“Y’know, I’ve been coming here for a LONG TIME, and I deserve only the BEST food for my loyalty. So what do I get for this? Today, I asked for my kids’ patties to be well-done. WELL. DONE. Y’know what that means? IT MEANS THERE AIN’T NO PINK IN IT, KID.”

Ah, Tom Smith. Easily the Krusty Krab’s most abrasive customer. He had a tendency to be weirdly picky about food – if anything was wrong, you would absolutely know about it. Nothing seemed to anger him more than food and nobody knew why. He didn’t always cause a fuss, but when he did, it wasn’t pretty.

The first time Spongebob experienced Tom’s wrath was long, long ago when Mr. Krabs had invented the Krusty Krab Pizza. He and Squidward had been tasked to deliver it to a customer’s house. It should have been a simple task, but… It turned into a huge journey because the pair got lost on their way. After what seemed like eons, they arrived, and Spongebob proudly presented Tom with the first Krabby Patty Pizza ever. Tom took one look at him and asked where the drink he’d ordered was. The fact of the matter was, he hadn’t actually asked for one, so Spongebob didn’t have it – thusly, Tom’s anger flared. He lambasted Spongebob for not bringing it, subsequently slamming the door in his face. There were to be plenty more incidents after that.

“You call yourself a frycook? I can cook better meat than this! Maybe I should take your job, eh?” Tom loomed menacingly over a cowering Spongebob Squarepants, who only clutched his spatula against his chest. “Go make them again, and make them RIGHT this time, kid. WELL DONE,” he snarled. He then turned on his heel, bubbles forming behind him with the motion, and stormed back to his table to wait with his children who were all, of course, complaining. Spongebob utterly deflated and slumped back to his grill to fill the order.

It was Squidward’s opinion that the customer was almost always wrong.

While many of the Krusty Krab’s patrons were polite, normal people, there were also those who were complete rotten assholes. The horror stories of customer service. The ones you prayed you wouldn’t encounter, but without fail, you would. Tom was undoubtedly the worst of them, and others like Harold were also known for occasional outbursts. It was absurd – they got to treat the employees however they wanted and never had any repercussions for it. They were always served what they were asked for. Customer service was bullshit. It was unfair. It was just plain wrong. These people could whine about the simplest of things – missing sesame seeds on their bun? Throw it out and make a new one. Fries slightly crispier and smokier than usual? Toss it and cook up a fresh batch. Romaine lettuce instead of iceberg? Better get ready to redo everything or make sure you have that refund! Go fetch your manager while you’re at it and consider yourself a failure because one single little detail was amiss. You were wrong and the customer was right. You’d always lose that battle.

How was it fair? How was it reasonable that Tom’s behavior was simply accepted? Why was he allowed to terrorize the person making his food just because the patties were slightly pinker than he wanted them to be? One could only hope he didn’t speak to his loved ones in the same way. As he watched the scene unfold from the cash register, Squidward found his jaw tightening and his fists clenching at his sides. He glared daggers in Tom’s direction. Oh, he was so ready to deck that guy. He’d done it once, and he would do it again if needed. He absolutely could not stand him. The way he treated Spongebob… It incited a fury deep within him. He didn’t quite know why it bothered him so much… He didn’t know why he cared, but he did – and actually, he could feel that he cared more now than ever. No one was allowed to treat Spongebob like that.

No one.

If there was one thing Squidward didn’t like, it was Spongebob being bullied. A tad ironic, since he had a tendency to… Not be so nice to Spongebob… But it was different! No, really, it was different. It wasn’t acceptable when he himself did mean things either, but these people! These people weren’t Spongebob’s neighbor! They didn’t secretly maybe kind of like him deep down! AND, some of them even got physical with him and THAT was just entirely unacceptable. Flats Flounder came to mind. Spongebob did all he could for his customers and Squidward couldn’t stand to see them hurt him. (His own behavior required further analysis, but he refused to believe he was on that level.)

Squidward was still seething as Tom returned to his seat. The wait wasn’t long – a defeated frycook soon emerged from the kitchen with a tray of patties. There was an audible hesitancy in his steps. “Here’s… Your order, sir,” Spongebob said in a small voice, sliding the tray onto the table. The customer sneered at him.

“Yeah, you’d better hope they’re right this time, or I’m taking this to your boss.” Spongebob said nothing as Tom cut one of the steaming patties in half to take a peek inside. Finding they were satisfactorily browned, he grunted, nodding. “Good. You managed not to mess it up. This had better not happen again. Oh, and one more thing, kid – you did remember to put at least seven ice cubes in my diet Dr. Kelp, right?” Spongebob froze with the question at first, praying he had, because he did NOT want a repeat of that pizza delivery… Or worse. Fortunately, he always made extra sure Tom’s drinks were right, so he reassured his racing mind with that fact.

“Yes, sir, I did,” he replied. Doubtful, Tom popped the lid of his drink open to check himself. Everything seemed to be in order.

“You actually managed to do it. Maybe you DO care about your customers!” Snickering, Tom waved Spongebob away. Eyes downcast, the other turned and padded back to his station. Squidward was on the verge of marching right over to the table and slamming Tom’s smug face into the burger – resisting that urge took every ounce of his self-control.

The rest of the day dragged on. Spongebob had understandably gone quiet, and Squidward spent his time thinking about all of the ways he could repay Tom for his immeasurable kindness. At closing time, Squidward watched his coworker leave carefully. “See ya,” the blond muttered impassively as he grabbed his coat and shuffled out the door, not quite paying any actual attention to those around him.

Squidward now had a few options – he could go home himself and forget about it all, he could go have a few choice words with Tom, or he could go see if Spongebob needed…

Comfort.

It seemed Squidward’s feet suddenly began moving on their own – he didn’t even have time to consider or conceptualize his decision. He was already leaving. He didn’t realize what he was doing until he was in front of a pineapple house. He paused to look up at it, wondering for a moment why he was here. It didn’t matter that much, did it..?

The aura of gloom emanating from the house said yes.

Squidward honestly just felt sad – a resonating hollowness in his chest – sure, he got yelled at by customers plenty too, but he deserved it but it was different. The little guy worked too hard to deserve that crap. He wasn’t particularly in the mood to risk getting his ass kicked at the moment, and just going home and ignoring it wasn’t actually an option either because it would never leave his mind. That left him with only one possible course of action. So, with a deep breath, he gave the front door a good firm knock. He wasn’t going to think very hard about how odd this was. He was doing what he felt – what his heart told him to do.

“Come in.”

Opening the door, he found the person he was looking for curled up in a pile of plush blankets on his couch, snacking on brownies and watching television. Gary snoozed away beside him, seemingly unbothered by the disturbance. The room was dark save for the lambent glow of the screen. “… Hey,” Squidward said lamely as he took a few steps inside, noting how tired Spongebob looked. That same unresponsive look was on his face – it was listless and tinged with melancholy. Surprisingly, there didn’t seem to be a single trace of tears.

“Hi.” It was a low, short sound that held no welcome in it. It wasn’t an unfriendly greeting per se, just… Apathetic. Spongebob’s gaze was drawn to his visitor briefly before it returned to his show. The moment hung uncomfortably; Squidward didn’t want to intrude, but… The dejection in those dull blue eyes hurt. He strode over to the couch and sat himself down next to the lethargic lump. Spongebob intruded on his brooding all the time, so whatever! He’d just have to deal with it!

“What are you watching?” Squidward asked as casually as he possibly could while he settled back. He wasn’t going to think about this at ALL. Just go with it, Squiddy. Spongebob flinched a little at the movement before eyeing him curiously, but didn’t seem to question it too much because he nodded back at the TV. He allowed his blankets to fall and pool around his waist, and set the plate of half-eaten brownies down on the table in front of them.

“Um, Ratatouille…”

“Oh?” Squidward took a look – a young man who had just been hired at an upscale restaurant was struggling to cook while a rat darted about, fixing up the food he’d been attempting to make. He wasn’t at all surprised that Spongebob had picked a movie about cooking, even if it had been a subconscious choice. “I’m shocked you’re not crying yet.”

“It’s—it’s still early in the movie.”

“Doesn’t usually stop you,” Squidward teased with a smirk. That smirk fell when he only received a sigh. He watched a few more minutes of the film, seeing Linguini’s ruthless and hateful boss criticize him, and was reminded of what had happened earlier. He wondered if Spongebob was thinking about it too… Must’ve been, with that expression.

It was time to do what he’d come here to do.

His next decision wasn’t one that was normally made lightly – it was something he didn’t usually do, nor was it something he was accustomed to. It was awkward, and if he thought about it too much he’d chicken out. Hopefully Spongebob wouldn’t make too big of a deal over it; if he did, it would reactivate Squidward’s defenses and he would inevitably flee in embarrassment. Squidward took a moment to clear his mind and focused on his sole goal of soothing his neighbor. Exhaling, he reached out and wrapped an arm gently around Spongebob’s shoulders, then tugged him close. Spongebob squeaked in surprise – he’d been tilted to the side and his head was now pressed against his friend’s chest. When he looked up, there was a question in his eyes, but no sound came from his gaping mouth. Squidward merely nodded to him to confirm that it was alright.

Spongebob was left confused – Squidward was hugging him..? Willingly? Why…

… Squidward was so magnificently warm. Spongebob soon found that he didn’t have the energy to deliberate on the implications of this. Ordinarily he would, but… Maybe he’d mull it over later. For now, he experimentally brought the blankets up over the both of them and when Squidward (startlingly) didn’t protest, he tucked himself into his side comfortably while the other kept an arm around him. Grateful for the heat, he nuzzled close.

“Who cares about the customer, Spongebob?”

“… I do.” Squidward caught a tiny hint of a smile tug at Spongebob’s lips when he responded. That pizza delivery had been a rough time, but at least they could joke about it now.

“Well I don’t, and neither should you. Look at that guy.” He gestured to Chef Skinner who was in the middle of lambasting Linguini for the umpteenth time. “They’re just like him. If they don’t care about you, why care about them?” Oh boy, he’d be having a crisis over that statement in regards to himself and his general treatment of Spongebob after he got home…

“Because I like making people happy and I like doing my job right,” Spongebob answered, slowly being lulled into complete relaxation by the sound of the beating heart against his ear, the familiar scent filling his nostrils, the warmth enveloping him, and the beautifully animated city of Paris. Squidward glanced down at his fluffy blond hair, quiet for a moment.

“… You can’t please everyone. You should put more energy into yourself – you don’t need to cater to some asshole’s every selfish whim to do your job right. He shouldn’t have the freedom to treat you like that,” he finally said. Being so unused to comforting Spongebob, his cheeks reddened a little, but he ignored the feeling. He absentmindedly gave Spongebob’s shoulder a squeeze, beginning to rub his thumb in circles against the soft fabric.

“I know… But it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try.” A shiver ran up Spongebob’s spine. That felt nice. That felt really nice. Even the simplest of touches made him happy. Oh, heaven… He sure was one lucky guy!

“Yeah, but you really don’t have to make sure you put a certain amount of ice cubes in someone’s drink. If you don’t want to punch someone in the face for pushing you around like that, I have no problem doing it for you.” Squidward meant that, too. If that meant getting beaten up for Spongebob’s sake… Oh well. The customer wasn’t always right and he would stand by that notion. It hurt too much to see Spongebob like this – it was weird to actually… Want to comfort Spongebob, but it also felt kind of good for some reason. It eased the sorrowful ache in his chest, and he hoped it eased the one in Spongebob’s, too. He couldn’t bring himself to look into his neighbor’s eyes as he spoke, but it became exceedingly apparent that he was staring.

Spongebob gawked for a few moments, having gone scarlet – that was probably one of the nicest things Squidward had ever said to him. The man he loved had honestly just stated that he was willing to stand up for him, to defend his honor, if need be. It was… Wow. Just… Wow. He could scarcely believe it, but no – no wondering about it for now. No causing a scene. Just accept it. Let the happiness wash over you. Don’t think about it – just feel it. “… Thank you,” he whispered, tears rushing to his eyes. To stave them off, he buried his face into Squidward’s collarbone and took some deep breaths, clutching him tightly. Once calmer, he sniffled and did his best to return his concentration to the television. A movie, the comfort of a best friend, brownies, and a sleepy snail. It was a bad day turned into the best day ever!

“Mm.” Squidward said nothing – he instead kept himself preoccupied with rubbing Spongebob’s shoulder and the story of a rat and a man going against all odds and those who tried to smack them down to help each other realize their dreams. They protected one another… Just as he’d try to protect Spongebob. Tom would get what was coming to him someday.

The pair stayed together the whole night, marathoning movies and gorging on junk food. There were tears and there was laughter. As baffling as it was, Squidward had a genuinely good time. Hanging out with Spongebob wasn’t always so bad… And he seemed to be feeling better, which was all Squidward had wanted. He’d deal with whatever weird feelings arose from it later. Maybe -- just maybe -- he could sort of thank Tom in some twisted way, because his shitty actions enabled he and his neighbor to bond and gave him the chance to be a good friend for once in his life. So thanks, Tom. Your assholeishness really brought people together!

#squidbob #my writing #spongeblogging #salvagedmoose #tbh KKpizza anon prolly already got tired of waiting and left omg #burn this its a disgrace #UGHHHHHHHHHHHH #i still have those other fics to write omg rip me #i spent an embarrassing amount of time on this #its disgusting actually wth is wrong with me

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