#david wants to be the mc so much

[shira-ceres]

Who's the protagonist?

[jerzwriter]

The day 14 prompt from @creativepromptsforwriting's 30-Day Writing Challenge is to write about regret, and my mind automatically went to Wake the Dead.

Book/Fandom: Wake the Dead (Choices) Pairing: Eli Sipes x Zoe Rivera (F!MC) Rating: Teen TW: Death, loss, grief Words: ~1,900 Summary: A cold winter's night ushers in a storm of memories and leaves Eli overcome with sadness and regret. Can Zoe help him to see the light?

A/N: Before I begin, I want to apologize to @coffeeheartaddict2, who sent me a request to write a story for Ethan and Tobias (OH) for this prompt. Tash - it's coming - but I had the perfect idea that fit into my Hopkins era story, which I want to write after this challenge, so I'm going to do it then. I have not read WTD in over a year now, and it's been a while, so I hope I did my little blorbos justice. Participating in @choicesapril2025 Prompt 13: Soft moments or a quiet, gentle renewal amid chaos.

30-Day Challenge Masterlist | Full Masterlist

It was that time of year when daylight was sparse and the night came early. It fell over Olympus like a thick, dark blanket, quiet and still, ushering in quiet and serenity that offered a rare reprieve from the horrors that typically surrounded them. It was cold, frigid even, but the cold was a less formidable enemy than the zombies who would dictate their lives again once the spring thaw arrived. Winter nights like these were almost magical, allowing the colonists to let their guard down a little - just a little - which was more than most ever dared to hope for.

It had become Eli’s favorite time of year, and tonight was no exception. But when he slid the balcony door open and stepped onto the creaky wooden boards, he wasn't at peace. He took a deep breath, as the sound of his footsteps echoed off the blankets of snow in the distance, his heart was heavy, but he was still thankful. He knew the importance of appreciating the little things, like the small break winter offered his body. He'd take it - because he knew there was nothing that would ever provide a reprieve for his mind.

He walked to the balustrade, his weathered hands coming to rest upon the splintered wood, and he stared into the distance - his body as still as a statue that had been carved by grief. His mind wandered, as it often did; a never-ending sentence in a prison from which there was no escape.

He had been quieter than usual all day – even Troy noticed. But he met each friend’s concern with the same response.

"I'm fine. Just didn't sleep well."

Most took him at face value, but there was one person he couldn't fool. And just when he thought that he had made it outside unnoticed, he heard her footsteps creeping up behind him, soft and delicate. He half-smiled. He should have known better than to think he could fool her.

Zoe didn’t say a word. She just stood behind him – close enough so he felt her presence, but far enough away to give him the space he needed. She knew if he truly wanted to be alone, he’d tell her. But if he needed her in any way, she was ready to offer him the only thing she had - herself - fully and completely.

The silence stretched, even as the wind picked up, snapping her long hair against his bare, nearly frozen arms. Eli remained as stoic as ever, and Zoe wondered if she should return inside, when he finally spoke – his voice clearly, but as jagged as broken glass.

“Today would have been his birthday - David’s.”

Zoe stepped closer, and his eyes screwed shut as her hand gently reacehd for his arm. For a man who had learned to endure so much alone, it was amazing how her touch alone could ground him in the best possible way.

“I know,” she whispered, the words catching in her throat. She kept it simple; words could never erase the depths of pain they had endured, but they still mattered, so she pressed on. “I’m here, Eli. You're not alone.”

He let out a breath that shuddered through his entire body and looked down at his shaking hands. Tears filled his eyes, but he’d be damned if he let them fall.

“I was supposed to protect him, Zoe,” he grimaced. “I promised! I promised him that I would.”

Zoe shifted closer, her arm encircling him. She knew the story by heart – he'd told her many times before – she knew he needed to tell it again.

“I was off hunting,” Eli continued, his voice thickening. “Normally, David came with me, but he needed to help my parents repair the roof that day, and we needed food. I thought... I thought I was doing the right thing...” He swallowed hard, jaw tense. “If anything, I thought I'd be the one in danger - heading out alone. My mother, she wasn't happy about it at all. But it wasn't me," he swallowed, his eyes shutting as he took a long pause. "It was them. I should have stayed behind. I should have stayed behind, Zoe... I should have stayed behind to protect them."

Her hands ran up and down his arms, in an attempt to keep him warm and soothe his tattered soul. "You had no way of knowing, Eli. You didn't know a horde would show up while you were gone. If you did, nothing could have kept you away."

He barely heard her - his mind reliving the horror that would never be erased.

“When I came back,” he continued, “David... he was still alive... just barely. His body was tattered and torn, and he knew what he had to do – rule number three. He had the gun in his hand, but he couldn’t do it. He just... he looked at me like he was still my little brother. Like he was waiting for me to make it right.”

A low, broken sound escaped him, and despite his greatest efforts, tears began to flow.

“So I did it. I did what I had to do. I put my arms around him and held him close one last time. I told him I loved him, that I would always be his big brother, then I...”

He pressed his palms against his forehead, as if he could physically push the memory away.

“I killed him. I killed him, Zoe... I killed him!”

Zoe’s throat tightened painfully. She pressed their joined hands to her heart, holding them there - she knew what came next.

“And then inside...” his voice broke completely. “My parents were already... gone. My dad attacked me, and my mom...” he choked. “She remembered me for just a second. Just long enough to make the hell we were in a thousand times worse...”

“I should’ve been there,” Eli gasped. “I could have saved them – or I should’ve died along with them if that’s what it took.”

Zoe pressed herself fully into his side, forcing him to feel her presence, her warmth, her heartbeat against his. She held his shivering body as tightly as if their lives depended on it.

“You didn't kill them, Eli. The zombies did. You... what you did was a mercy... you ended their suffering. It was the kindest thing you could do."

"I should have saved them," he cried.

"You were trying to save them,” she whispered. “You were out hunting alone in the woods, even though you knew how dangerous that was. You were finding food to keep everyone alive, and they knew that.”

Eli shook his head violently, the pain etched in his face. “A lot of good that did. It.. It wasn’t enough.”

Zoe pulled back just enough to look at him. Her shimmering eyes met his as their hearts broke.

“I understand,” she said, her voice barely a breath. "I truly do. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about Anna,” her voice trembled. “I think about the moment she shoved me toward the door in the basement of your old cabin. About the way she smiled at me – trying to be strong - focused on my wellbeing - even though she was bleeding out - she knew her time was near. I think...”

She closed her eyes, the memory slicing open every wound she pretended had somehow healed. “I often wonder... if I had fought a little harder. I don't know - screamed louder. Crawled back to her instead of letting myself be dragged away...” Her voice shattered. “Maybe I could have done something... maybe... maybe she’d still be here today.”

A solitary tear slipped down her cheek, leaving a freezing trail as it fell. Eli raised his hand in an instant, the pad of his thumb rubbing it away from her skin.

“Zoe, no!” He said fiercely. “There was nothing you could have done. You would’ve died, too. If there were any choice, any chance to save her, we would have taken it – together – but there wasn’t. There just wasn't.”

“But how do you know that?” Zoe swallowed. “How do you know for sure?”

Eli cupped her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him.

“Because I was there too. There was nothing we could do. I knew it - Anna knew it, too. That’s why she made you go.”

"She sacrificed herself so we could live," Zoe sobbed, clutching his shirt in her fists and taking a shuddering breath.

"I know," he said, rubbing Zoe's back. "I only knew your sister one night, but she was one of the bravest people I've ever met. She knew what she was doing, Zoe. Her death is not on your hands."

“So you don’t blame me for Anna?” she asked, voice so low he could hardly hear her.

“Not for a second,” he replied without hesitation.

“Then why?" She asked. "Why is it so easy for you to absolve me... but so impossible to you to forgive yourself?”

Eli’s face crumpled; for a moment, he looked so tortured, so lost, that Zoe found it hard to breathe.

“Because I love you,” he said raggedly. “But I don’t know how to love myself the same way.”

Zoe pressed her forehead to his, her heart pounding against his. “Then let me help you," she whispered. “Let me help you, because you need to love yourself. Eli, I wish you could see yourself with my eyes. I wish you could see the strong, stoic man with a tender heart beating under that gruff exterior. Baby, you're one of the greatest, most honorable people I've ever known. I'm so lucky to be yours, and you... you deserve so much love.”

The two of them stood there, clinging to each other tightly as the wintry winds whipped the frigid air into their bones. They couldn't move, and they couldn't let go of each other.

“Maybe we’re both just carrying too much,” Eli finally said. “This world... this world is harsh, and we've all endured so much. Sometimes the pain, the grief, the self-doubt...it doesn’t leave much room for anything else.”

Zoe nodded, her hands rubbing down his back. “You're right," she whispered. "It’s a cruel, unforgiving place that steals so much without remorse."

"But," Eli said, taking a step back to look at her, really look at her. "But we’re still here,” he said. “Somehow, we’re here and that matters."

"You're right," Zoe smiled through her tears. "And maybe... maybe all we can do is hold on to what’s left. Hold on to each other and the love we share for as long as we still can. We have to. We owe it to those who paid the price so we could be here.”

Eli silently nodded. “I think that’s what they’d want... David, Anna, our parents... all of them.”

Something took Eli over at that moment, and he leaned forward to kiss Zoe without even thinking. He kissed her with the desperation of a man who knew just how easily someone you loved could be ripped away, and Zoe kissed him back just as fiercely.

The world may be brutal, but by some strange miracle, it brought them together, and they wouldn't take that for granted. Together, they found a spark that ignited a desire to keep fighting, to move forward - not just to survive, but to truly live.

When the kiss finally ended, Eli wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. They stayed that way for a long time, wrapped in each other, staring out into a broken world that had given them every reason to quit — but hadn’t succeeded – after all, they had each other.

A/N 2: If you made it this far, thanks so much for reading! I have not written for them in so long, and I absolutely loved revisiting their story. ❤️

@choicesficwriterscreations

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The credit card fee victory is a defeat

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me next weekend (Mar 30/31) in ANAHEIM at WONDERCON, then in Boston with Randall "XKCD" Munroe (Apr 11), then Providence (Apr 12), and beyond!

The headline was pure David and Goliath: America's small businesses had finally triumphed in their 20-year litigation campaign against Visa and Mastercard over price-gouging on fees, and V/MC were going to cough up $30B as reparations:

https://edition.cnn.com/2024/03/26/economy/visa-mastercard-swipe-fee-settlement/index.html

But if you actually delve into that settlement, the victory gets very hollow indeed. Here's the figure that didn't make the headline: as a part of this settlement, the sky-high fees merchants pay to process your credit-card transaction are going up by 25%:

https://www.creditslips.org/creditslips/2024/03/the-proposed-credit-card-interchange-settlement.html

The payments system is a hellish complex, rotten cartel, dominated by a handful of firms who have raised their already-high fees by 40% since the start of covid:

https://prospect.org/power/2023-02-07-small-business-credit-card-fees/

These companies who take 2-5% out of virtually every dollar exchange in the American company are wildly profitable, but their aggregate profits are still much lower than the profits of all the merchants they prey upon. More: the combined market capitalization of every company that accepts credit-cards is orders of magnitude larger than the payment processing companies. If we're just talking about sheer economic muscle, the "Goliath" here is "all the companies" and the "David" is "the three companies that process payments for them."

So, how is it that these puny middlemen are able to run circles around this massive retail sector? To learn the answer, you need to consider the fine technical details of the lawsuit and the settlement. That's something few of us are capable of doing on our own, because – as is ever the case with finance – the whole system is wreathed in an enormous amount of performative complexity. It's what finance bros call "MEGO," for "My Eyes Glaze Over." Finance loves things that are made complicated so that they'll be hard to understand – because so many of us will assume that they are hard to understand because they are complicated and just "leave it to the experts."

Thankfully, not all of the experts are on the side of finance. When I want a cheat-sheet for the lies buried in Uber's balance sheet, I look to Hubert Horan:

https://horanaviation.com/publications-uber

And when I want to understand credit markets, I go to Adam Levitin and his co-authors at the indispensable Credit Slips blog – and the Credit Card Interchange Settlement is no exception:

https://www.creditslips.org/creditslips/2024/03/the-proposed-credit-card-interchange-settlement.html

Formally, the fight over credit-card fees is over "interchange fees" – the fees charged to a merchant's bank by Visa and Mastercard. But of course, these fees are passed on to the merchants. If you've ever shopped for a credit-card, you'll know that some cards offer massive rebates to consumers (especially wealthy consumers with great credit scores). These gifts don't come out of V/MC's bottom-line: every time you use one of those Platinum/Emerald/Unobtanium cards, V/MC levy an even higher interchange fee. So ultimately, when a wealthy customer with a "good" credit card shops at a merchant, the merchant ends up paying more to process their payment.

But merchants aren't allowed to charge that back to their customers – and that's the crux of the lawsuit. It's why American merchants pay the highest interchange fees in the developed world.

Enter the $30b settlement. Under its terms, average interchange fees will go down by 7 basis-points (0.07%) over the next five years, while all fees will go down by 0.04% over three years – a reduction of about $3b/year. Additionally: merchants will now be able to levy small, extremely limited surcharges based on either the type of card or the card brand (e.g., "We charge a fee for Visa" or "We charge a fee for gold cards"). If merchants are able to levy these fees and figure out how to max them out, they stand to make another 3b/year.

In other words, the $30b settlement comes from $15b in guaranteed savings and $15b in possible savings, for just five years – while V/MC will continue to charge more than $100b/year in interchange fees.

This litigation began in 2005, with merchants outraged over the sky-high average interchange fee of 1.75%. Today, after the settlement, those fees have climbed by 25%, to 2.19% – and they'll start climbing again after just five years. A 20-year fight over high fees resulted in a victory in which the fees are even higher.

How did this happen? Levitin gives us some tantalyzing hints. Over the two decades of litigation, the credit card cartel were able to peel off different groups of merchants and settle with them separately. Some of those settlements were vacated by courts, and other ones are still pending, but fundamentally, the merchants were not unified in the way the credit-card companies are.

This shouldn't surprise anyone. Hundreds of thousands – millions? – of merchants are unable to coordinate strategies in the way that just two credit-card companies can. Indeed, when you have hundreds of thousands of companies, that represents many, many different kinds of businesses, each of which has different kinds of customers and different labor, inventory, cash-flow and profitability specifics.

But as an industry grows more concentrated, all the firms within that industry converge on a single, homogeneous style of operations. Walmart operates very differently from the mom-and-pop shops it forced out with predatory pricing and sweetheart deals with wholesalers – but Costco, Walmart and Sam's Club are all remarkably similar to one another. As a shopper, that means that if have needs that aren't well-served by a big box store, you're out of luck – and it means that a credit-card settlement that works for Walmart will probably work equally well for Costco and Sam's Club.

Think of the mobile phone duopoly of Apple/Google. These two "competitors" have nearly identical ways of dealing with their suppliers – both charging 30% fees for processing payments (and yes, that's a racket that makes Visa/Mastercard look like pikers). These two "competitors" are also one another's most important business-partners: the single largest transaction either company makes every year is with the other – the $26B that Google pays Apple every year to be the Ios and Safari default search engine, through which Apple exposes every one of its customers to Google's incredibly invasive, continuous surveillance.

Speaking of surveillance: consider the surveillance advertising duopoly of Google/Facebook. Not only do these companies extract the nearly identical (sky-high) fees from advertisers and dribble out the nearly identical (miserly) payouts to publishers – they also illegally collude to rig the advertising market, dividing it between themselves:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedi_Blue

The economists' term for this is the "collective action problem." It's a problem we want corporations to have. The problem with monopolies and cartels isn't merely that they're "too big to fail" and "too big to jail" – it's that a handful of companies can form a cartel to capture their regulators:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/05/regulatory-capture/

The surveillance industry is unified; the surveilled are not. The rewards from surveillance are concentrated. The costs of surveillance are diffused. This is as good a working definition of corruption as you could ask for: conduct that produces concentrated gains and diffuse losses.

Our generations-long failure to enforce antitrust law created monopolies that rippled out through whole supply chains. As David Dayen described in his brilliant 2021 book Monopolized, it's the story of US health industry:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/29/fractal-bullshit/#dayenu

First, pharma companies merged to monopoly and started to gouge hospitals on drug prices. So hospitals formed regional monopolies that could resist these pricing demands – and then turned around and started gouging insurance companies. So insurance companies merged, too. Every corner of health-care is now a monopoly or a cartel – from pharmacy benefit managers to hospital beds:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/01/05/hillrom/#baxter-international

The only parts of the industry that aren't concentrated are the parts that can't concentrate: patients and health-care workers. The monopolized health care sector reaps the concentrated gains, and the patients and workers pay the diffused costs. Those costs are diffused, but they're still substantial – a literal matter of life or death:

https://kffhealthnews.org/news/article/investors-private-equity-nonprofit-nursing-homes-quality-of-care/

Monopolization lets businesses solve their collective action problem, so they can run circles around less concentrated, less organized sectors. But concentration also lets companies solve the collective action problem of lobbying governments and capturing their regulators. A concentrated industry can maintain message discipline in front of regulators and legislators. A diffuse sector will always have credible defectors who'll say, "No, we can absolutely function with tighter controls – my competition is bullshitting you and I have receipts to prove it."

The surveillance industry's massive concentration is why America can't seem to pass a federal consumer privacy law. The last consumer privacy law Congress passed was 1988's Video Privacy Protection Act, a law that bans video-store clerks from telling anyone which VHS cassettes you're renting. But federal law is effectively silent on every other kind of invasion – your ISP, your TV, your car, your phone, your medical implant, your dishwasher and your smart speaker can all harvest your data, charge you for the privilege and sell it to anyone, for any purpose.

That silence didn't come cheap: whenever Congress moots a privacy law, the concentrated surveillance industry is all on the same page for the ensuing lobbying blitz, which it can afford thanks to the massive profits that an industry reaps when it eliminates "wasteful competition."

This is a point that leftists sometimes miss about competition law. The point of competition isn't merely to discipline companies into finding more efficient ways to run their businesses so that their prices go down. Sure, that's sometimes a good thing for the public.

But there's plenty of commercial conduct that we don't want to improve – rather, we want to extinguish that conduct. We don't want more efficient commercial surveillance – we want no commercial surveillance.

Without competition, an industry can outmaneuver the government. Think of IBM: the DOJ sued IBM for antitrust violations from 1970 to 1982. For 12 consecutive years, IBM spent more on lawyers to fight the DOJ's Antitrust Division than the DOJ spent on all the lawyers it employed to fight every antitrust violation in the country. IBM literally outspent the US government, year after year, for 12 years! That let them delay the DOJ's breakup long enough for Ronald Reagan to be elected, and then Reagan dropped the suit.

This doesn't just effect customers for a monopoly's products – it also (and especially) effects the workers for that monopoly. When employers don't have to compete for labor, they can pay workers less and save money they might otherwise have to pay for benefits and workplace safety. Those additional profits can be plowed into lobbying against pro-union laws, and to pay the eye-watering sums charged by scumbag union-busting law firms.

Look at the companies who've gone to the Supreme Court to get the National Labor Review Board abolished: these are giant corporations from heavily concentrated sectors with little competition to erode their profits. And while Tesla, Trader Joe's and Amazon all have very different businesses, they're all similar enough that none of them sees an advantage to courting workers by offering a unionized shop:

https://newrepublic.com/article/179165/musk-supreme-court-nlrb-labor

It's not just leftists who fail to grasp the relationship between competition and the ability of regulators to do their job. Libertarians miss this, too. Even if you're a fully Fountainhead-poisoned freedom-to-contract hobgoblin, you still want a government that can enforce those contracts and defend the property rights they invoke. For a government to force a corporation to abide by its contractual obligations, that government has to be more powerful than the corporation it is charged with policing. Which means that however large you're willing to let a monopoly or cartel grow, you're going to have to tolerate a government that's even larger:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/05/small-government/

The "$30b win" for America's merchants is, in fact, a loss. 20 years of litigation over high fees, and the fees are now much higher. But that loss is surely unevenly distributed. Walmart and Amazon and other retail giants are going to be able to bargain for all kinds of off-the-books rebates, promotions, and other sweetheart deals, meaning that they'll have even more unfair advantages over smaller, more disorganized retailers. That means more of those mom-and-pops will vanish, leaving shoppers with less choice and higher prices – and workers with less choice and lower wages.

The lesson of 40 years of pro-monopoly policy couldn't be clearer: you can either have an economy that is regulated by lawmakers who are at least nominally transparent and democratically accountable, or you can have an economy regulated by totally unaccountable and opaque monopolists. Fail to do the former, and you will always end up with the latter.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/28/concentrated-benefits/#diffuse-harms

[babylon-crashing]

Q: What were your "gateway drugs" when it comes to music?

I'm going to define "gateway drugs" as ten pivotal LPs that opened me up to genres and sounds that I'd never experienced before. I didn't go out of my way to find them but each one changed my tiny little world for the better.

Freddie Redd ~ The Connection. I'd heard of Hard Bop before, vaguely. I had an aunt who loved John Coltrane, but that was as far as my education had taken me. It sounded to my heathen ear like random sax squawking. Then, in Istanbul, in a used record shop, I discovered this and suddenly it all made sense. It was my Rosetta Stone of Jazz, as it were.

Salt n Pepa ~ Blitz of Hits. This is one of my "music that saved my life in Peace Corps" discoveries. I'd seen Push It on MTV, sure, but one day in a little kiosk in Yerevan that was selling bootleg records from Russia I took this home on a lark and boom! "'Cause this is the year all men fear/ Female MCs is movin' up here." Amen.

Herbert von Karajan's Beethoven 9th Symphony. The Glorious 9th. For a long time Classical music = Boring ass harpsichords as found on NPR. The stuff they play in second-rate elevators. Music for people who hate music. The 9th wasn't even from this world, it was a crack-cocaine explosion that melted my brain. I didn't know how to respond to it, it was that alien and new (this coming from a song written in 1824). It was like what Belloq said in Raiders of the Lost Ark, "a radio for speaking to god."

The Clancy Brothers & Tommy Makem ~ Hearty and Hellish! Folk music was what my parents raised me on. Around the time my friends were moonwalking to Thriller I was singing along to songs about the glories of whiskey and aren't the British all colonizing wankers? Peter, Paul and Mary, the Kingston Trio and the Limeliters were also on heavy rotation when my mom was feeling like cutting loose.

The Laurel Love Collection. Another "music that saved my life in Peace Corps" discovery. Without Laurel Love there would be no Indigo Girls, no Tracey Chapman, no Phranc.

Run DMC ~ King of Rock. I was in middle school when this came out. Hip Hop had yet to reach mid-Michigan. NYC was a mysterious world where Andy Warhol lived, far, far away. But suddenly there was this new language that no one I knew had even heard of, with cryptic terms like "B-Boy" and "Sucka MC" and wee little Z was hooked.

The Shining Soundtrack. Like the 9th Symphony I was flabbergasted (yes, that is exactly the right word, so much flabber to gast) the first time I heard these sounds. Wendy Carlos, Penderecki, Béla Bartók. They terrified me in the way that all good horror terrifies: you want to avert your gaze but you just can't. Something otherworldly is now in your life and you keep going back despite knowing that it's going to give you nightmares.

Cyndi Lauper ~ She's So Unusual. I'm a child of the 80s. While my friends were into The Smiths and The Cure and Bauhaus, I was head-over-heels in love with Ms Lauper; my "gateway drug" into early 80s Pop. I have no regrets.

Ida Cox ~ Wild Women Don't Have the Blues. Even as a kid Billie Holiday made me cringe. All those songs about how she'd rather her man beat the crap out her than have him leave. Her version of the Blues was just depressing. Then I found this LP, reissued by Rosetta Records and everything changed. Recorded with The Coleman Hawkins Quintet when she was in her 70s, Ida Cox's Blues, all low down dirty and raunchy, is really the only Blues for me. "I'm a big fat mama/ Got the meat shakin' on my bones/ And every time I shake it/ Some skinny gal loses her home."

David Bowie ~ Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. Last but not least, like the Rocky Horror Picture Show, everything about Glam rock spoke to me: the camp, the spectacle, the androgynous bisexual vibes; and unlike the Heavy Metal my friends listened to, no toxic misogyny, no homophobia, no crappy guitar solos. I don't think I ask a lot from my music ... just blow my mind without being an asshole about it. Heavy Metal, at least way back when, was nothing but assholes.

[jenyifer]

Hum I realized I haven’t shared any of my book recs on here. I know I should watch new bl. I plan on finding something in June.

Since I got broken up I’ve been reading lgbt books. My ex gf had been showing me things about being lgbt that I had never imagined before and without her I still wanted to learn to experience different stories. So I used my love of fantasy and sci-fi and started listening and reading as much as I could. I don’t really care for overly spicy things but I like when the characters are realistic adults. So keep that in mind with this list.

1. The House in the Cerulean Sea 10/10 Fantasy great characters and mc growth. Found family always gets me. The ending was perfect. I’ve listened to it 15 times and forced my parents and uncle to read it. I’m excited for book 2.

2. The Darkness Outside of Us. 10/10 Sci-fi Space. This book made me feel so much. Surprised me. Had me gasping for air in my cube to the point people had to ask if I was okay. Had me running to the car to cry as I listened to the last part. Go in blind and enjoy the space and gay of it all.

3. Dark Rise 10/10 Classic Fantasy It is incredibly rare any book surprises me. Most of the time I can guess the plot a mile away. Dark Rise hit me over the head a couple times had me crying. But it was so epic and adventurous reminded of the feeling I had reading David Eddings as a child. (Not that lgbt as I would have liked but… it was there I assume book 2 a lot more)

4. Iron Widow 10/10 Sci-fi Mechs Fantasy Post Apocalypse I adore a mechs and history. It was extremely exciting. I adore the main couple even though main girl is actually mentally unstable but you love her anyways.

5. The Extraordinaries 9/10 Superhero. The main character is lovably stupid aside from his ADHD which I can relate on. I loved the lesbian side couple. The story was fun felt like it was written for the early college me who loved superheroes.

5. Adam Binder Series White Trash Warlock 9/10. Urban Fantasy. It gives me flash backs to Harry Dresden and Iron Druid but not in the obvious way just in vibe. I love main characters being country. I’m from Mississippi not Oklahoma but I can relate to being a gay in a small town moving to a big city. I love the main couple. The mystery magic system was interesting. I wish it had a bit more romance actually. Just because I love the main couple and side characters a lot and want happiness. I wish I could get more people to read this one it’s wonderful a lot better than a lot of urban str8 fantasy I’ve read and it was my main category for years. The mystery element was decent. I need to start book 3.

6. Ocean’s Echo 8.5/10 sci-fi mystery the main characters are… so wonderful. They are extreme but I love them so much. I’ll protect them to the end of days. I have this book over it’s… I guess in the same universe book Winter’s Orbit because I think the mystery suspense is more intense in Ocean’s echo also much more spacey sci-fi. Romance is also arranged marriage but is VERY different from winters orbit. I wish… I wish this book wasn’t associated with the other because it gets unfairly compared because the narrator is the same etc but Ocean’s Echo is great in its own right and is definitely not a copy

7. Winter’s Orbit 8.5/10 MYSTERY sci-fi edging on fantasy. Arranged marriage. Slow burn. These characters are also 10/10 I love them. I have experienced an abusive relationship before and appreciated seeing a character with the scars a similar past. Often if a character is portrayed as in an abusive relationship they focus on the event but it effects Everything in your world. Even now I have these scars after 8 years. I loved the mystery it was the main focus which I liked. The romance felt natural.

8. Fragile Remedy 8/10 one of the first books I read it made me cry and was a good single dystopian gem. Had a real… divergent hunger games kind of vibe to the world from what I remember.

9. Lightning struck heart 7/10 classic fantasy this is what I said on my insta at the time “It is an extremely comedic fantasy adventure with wizards, unicorns, knights, and dragons. Right up my alley! However the ending was disappointing. I'll listen to the next book in the series and hope it improves. Just found character arch unbelievable in last chapters.”

10. A wish upon a star by tj klune ^follow up books I read like 4 of them 5/10 I did stop listening to it this is what I said on my insta “Well I continued listening the tales of verania series and made it to the original end of the series. I'd say if you want a gay fantasy comedy without too much thinking Listen to the audio. Narrator is the biggest part of why I didn't quit. Idk if I'll read the other books though it is very friendship is magic smooth brain ideas I've read”

Unable to finish (been desperately trying to find a lesbian story and finding nothing)

Girl, Serpent, Thorn 4/10 my review from insta “Unable to finish it. The world is interesting. The first 3rd seemed promising but after major conflict the writing goes way down. But the MC doesn't grow. The f/f is so shallow it made me roll my.eyes until I had to stop listening. Wanted the bad guy to win and kill everyone”

The Midnight Girls. So intensely annoying and childish. I couldn’t do it I think I made it to chapter 3 but it was a struggle.

In the ravenous dark. I got to one third of the audio book and had to stop. The universe was okay but main girl was very annoying. Was kind of hoping her and the ghost would be together not… not the weird bullshit that was going on. Idk what the end of the book was going to be but it was not for me.

I’ll post another with my current to read list. I’m really going through them now because I have to drive two hours a day to and from work. Give me your suggestions though please thank you.

[sweettoothvn]

How would the characters react/do if mc randomly falls asleep next to them after a long day of hanging out?

I bet one of them will doodle on their face XD

Andre puts a blanket on them and makes sure they're in a comfy position, laying down somewhere safe at his house (guest bedroom, couch, etc)

Casey will make sure to carry them home and that they are safe in their bed- he would casually take of their shoes and throw a blanket on them- then slap some stickers on their face and leave behind some candy

Chrys is taking them back to her apartment to lay on the couch. No surprise they get doodles on their face- however being woken up by 5 pods and Tenylia will be- Interesting!

David internally panics but tries his best to get them home, his guardian most likely tells him to not worry so much about it but David doesn't want to leave them alone! Sure he acts like an ass to them and acts like he's better than them but their safety is still important to him.

Eddie draws on their face then lugs them to his apartment, throws them on the couch with a blanket and a pillow then lets his cats loaf on them. If they're allergic then- guess they'll die!

Besides Noble, Kieran is definitely someone who would stress about getting them back to your place. He knows just as well as anyone else in the Intrepid how awful that place is... and then he doodles on their face as punishment.

God finally a way to bring them back to his place- Noble carries them to his shared apartment above Sweet Tooth- they better prepare for some intense pampering when they wake up

Zach brings you to his apartment and keeps you in the spare bedroom he has... which he usually uses as a place to keep his plushies....

[wandering-imp-reads]

(Blush Blush) Cole x reader

Trying to get back in the swing of writing fic after seven years. Cole/reader seemed fitting.

Warnings: Cole being yandere, homeboy kills someone (not super descriptive but ask to tag). they/them used. There is misgendering (Ex continuously calls MC she, and a bitch). AFAB reader, but I tried to be GN for it.

MC is reader, second POV when MC is around. Third when Cole's. mostly from Cole's perspective.

“Who was that?” you’ve long since gotten used to the way Cole just appears sometimes. Same with the almost feral, borderline territorial, tone in his voice.

“Just…my ex,” you mutter. Mood dampened from having had contact with the man. Your ex, Dvid, had been…not exactly the best in the almost two years you were with him. Cole hums. His cold gray eyes never leave the figure of the taller, older man. Plans are already starting to form in his mind. Having only heard the bare minimum of your time with David, he knows there’s more to it. Still…he shifts his gaze over to you. He is able to tell how uneasy the encounter has made you. 

“The one you told me about?” there’s a subtle softness reserved for you, only for you, in his voice.

You sigh, tension leaving your body at the touch of Cole’s hand on your back. You lean into his touch. “Yeah. That’s the one. From a year ago, before we met.”

His eyes soften. He hums once more, shifting to stand directly behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. His chin rests against your shoulder. “Love, you don’t have to worry about him anymore.” A soft kiss is pressed to  the side of your neck. “I promise you I’ll always protect you.” The gentle rumblings of a purr emit from his throat, reverberating through you as well.

“Thank you, Cole.” 

He’s elated to see your smile again. 

“Come on, let’s head home.”

~

In a basement -lit only by a lightbulb hanging from the ceiling- in the center of the room, sits the same man from earlier in the day. Restrained to the chair that’s bolted to the floor. The wood is stained with…a suspiciously dark color in patchy splotches. Metal restraints wrap tightly around his forearms and shins, keeping him from any chance of escape.

Alive, at least.

“Oh good,” a voice from the shadows of the damp room starts, “you’re finally awake.” Cole creeps out into the illuminated area.  Knife in his hand. He twirls the blade in his fingers. 

“Who the hell are you?”

“Me? Oh, I’m no one.” Cole points the tip of the knife at his captured victim. “But you? You’re a very important person.” 

He steps closer.

“You’ve caused my precious darling so much trouble. Just as they start to finally move on and become happy again,” Cole the flat of the knife’s blade to tip David’s chin up, “You show up. 

David scoffs. “You mean that stupid bit-”

“Watch it.” His voice hardens, dropping dangerously low. “MC is the sweetest, the light of my life. If you keep talking badly about them, well… I’ll just have to make sure you won’t talk again.” 

“Oh, come on! She’s just using you for sex! Trust me. She pulled the same shit with me, she’ll do the same fucking thing to you!” David struggles against his restraints a bit. “Once that little bitch gets what she wants out of you she’ll drop your ass!”

With a growl, the knife gets plunged into the palm of the man’s hand, pinning the appendage to the wood of the chair’s arm. “They,” Cole emphasizes by twisting the knife ever so slightly, “are my darling.” Oh how he relishes in the pained scream of the man. If only you could be here to witness this. To witness just how far Cole will go just to prove his love to you. To prove how perfect he is for you. “Keep it up. See where it gets you.”

Cole backs away to a table. He shuffles through the different knives and other instruments he has on it. He hums whilst looking over his toys, enjoying the other man’s screams.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!?”

“Me? Nothing, unless loving my darling is wrong. Which it's not.”

“You’re a fucking freak.”

Cole huffs, eyeing the blade in his hands carefully. “Say, didn’t you stand MC up on that New Year’s Eve date you planned for them? The one that was all your idea, and that you constantly bugged them about until they agreed. Even after they made all the preparations and paid for everything on their own dime?”

David stutters through the pain, incoherent even if Cole was paying attention.

“They did all that for you, following your every command because they loved you.”

“No, something came up, and…and-”

“Lying to me isn’t going to help. Do you have any idea how heartbroken they were over you? How much they cried over you?”

“She cries all the damn time!” Any other words die on his tongue as a knife is thrown. The blade lodges into the wood just beside his neck.

“Shut up!” Cole stalks over to the man, predatory instincts kicking in. There’s an unhinged gleam in his eye. “You groomed them to be your prey! You manipulated their heart until they had no one else to turn to but you, and then you would toy with their emotions until you needed them for your own needs!”

He raises a hand, stabbing another knife into David’s other hand. The battered man screams out in agony again.

“You used them for sex! For your own disgusting game!”

“She’s just as guilty for stringing me along!”

“You’re nothing but a predator!” Finally cole grabs the man by his hair, tilting his head back --brandishing a fourth knife-- and then-

Silence.

You awake the next morning with the warm, comforting feeling of a familiar body entangled with yours. A soft purr drifting in the morning’s tranquility. Cole’s lips meet with the back of your shoulder, followed by the gentlest of nips to the flesh.

“Good morning, my love.” His voice is soft, laced with exhaustion.

You roll over to face him, a sleepy smile on your lips. “Good morning to you too, precious kitty.”

If his pupils could turn into literal hearts you’re certain they would’ve in this moment. He whines while bringing your palm to his face.

“Can we just stay in bed, together, forever?”

“I would love nothing more. You got home late last night,” you gently rub your thumb along his cheekbone. “Is everything okay?”

He nods. Cole nuzzles into your palm, placing a feather light kiss to it. “Everything is just fine now. I hope you’re feeling better after yesterday’s…encounter.”

“I am. Having you by my side, loving me as I am really helps. If we run into him again, I know you’ll be there for me.”

He hums, pulling you closer to himself to hide the same unhinged glint in his eye from the night before. “I will. Though, I doubt we’ll be seeing him anytime soon.”

[dub88dab44]

I finally caught up with season 10 and I have some thoughts. This might be an unpopular opinion, but.....

I really like this season! I originally stopped playing after the first volume cause I created a sweetheart of a character, and that just wasn't working. So for the first time since season 1 I decided to wait until I could binge the season (I got impatient, oops) and let me tell you

S10 works so much better when you're playing it as one big story, rather than having the same issues week after week. But as a whole, here are some more specific thoughts:

(under the cut cause this got looong)

First of all, design. I like MC's design. We've come a long way since whatever that s5/s6 MC mess was. I understand that Fusebox, in order to make this game work, has to prioritize. And keeping essentially the same MC sprite over multiple seasons for the sake of the other characters' designs seems reasonable to me

Speaking of: For the most part the other characters' designs look great! They actually look like real people to me the obvious exceptions being Sophia (why... just why?) and kinda Franki (idk, she looks odd to me) and sorry Hayden (why does he have a hamster mouth)

Moving on to plot: I actually like that we don't couple up with someone straightaway! This plot point is a big one where being aware of it ahead of time helped a lot. I was growing tired of every LI immediately being all in with MC. In past seasons, as soon as you couple up, every LI just turned into the same lovesick mush. Let us work for people's affections!

This also allows for actual character building. I feel like I actually know Ethan, Milo, Hayden, and all the others. Characters having their own consistent personality? Unheard of since s4! I refuse to acknowledge s5 You have to make the coding work somehow and I feel like this is a smart way of doing it and stopping the personalities from melting into each other without doing a forced couple à la Miles/Jasper from s1. If a season wants to draw me in, distinct personalities is one of the most important factors to me.

Jesse!!! That's all.

No but seriously. Jesse is (so far) what Nicky/Seb from s3 was supposed to be. I have been craving a character like Jesse!! A male best friend whom you can genuinely come to for what would otherwise be girl talks. With the option of a friends-to-lovers route but also the option to just hype each other up!

Jesse thinking MC was the cheater during the dirty laundry challenge bc Sophia was spreading lies? Yes please! This is the type of drama that is genuinely important to me. No character, even your faves, are without flaws. This was a genuine fuck up on Jesse's part but I think it's so good for character and relationship building. More drama like this please!

Speaking of characters I love: Lisbeth. First of all, her character design? A+, give whoever did that a raise! Her character? The whole witchy, wanting to live in a overgrown castle, plays in a band and smashed her guitar vibe? A++! Calling her partner a good boy, giving dom-mummy vibes, but also nervous around her crush? Please let me marry her!

Okay hear me out.... I like Sophia as a character. Shitty person! Good character. Because I feel like she makes sense? I've seen many people basically call her cartoonishly evil but I don't think that's true. I think she is just self-absorbed. She genuinely doesn't think about how her actions might affect other people. Not in a fuck-you type of way, it just genuinely doesn't occur to her that when she is happy other people won't be happy for her, or that they might be hurt by the chaos trail she leaves behind. I find that compelling as an antagonistic character, especially since you can choose how sassy or understanding MC is of Sophia's narcissism.

If I were to ever make one of those TikTok hear-me-out cakes, I would put Tristan on it. What can I say, I like a good ratboy! Visually he reminds me of an early Damiano David from Måneskin, and I think that man just fundamentally changed something in my brain chemistry

What I like about the dates is that they are more than I generic "I like you, and I see myself with you and only you, you changed my entire outlook on life, now kiss me". Cause after a while that just gets boring. I feel like we actually get to learn about the LIs on the dates (partially due to them being given actual distinct dialogue!). Please, yes, actually tell me something about yourself! And that boat/snorkeling date? That shit was good!

The challenges have also been really fun so far. I particularly loved the dirty laundry challenge and the fairground (can never go wrong with a blindfolded kissing challenge, and combining that with the tea from the rest of the challenge was a cool thing to do)

Speaking of, the drama is delicious! Genuinely reminds me of s2 (maybe too high of a compliment, but whatever). I feel like we get to be a part of the drama, like how Jesse confide in MC about his feelings and doubts about his couple. I also love the Ethan/Hayden rivalry. And getting to split up a couple? I thought that was a cool new twist although I agree it probably should have come later in the season. I love that as MC, you kind of get to decide how seriously you want to take everyone coming to you with their issues

This is a minor thing, but it makes such a difference to me: Whenever a Thing has happened (date, tea got spilled, announcement, etc.) it's often the boys (lead by Jesse, my heart) who say "let's go for a debrief" FIRST. In past seasons I have been a little frustrated by the constant girls chats, cause like... I might not trust the girls?? Why are you making me do this?? *cough* Amelia *cough* But seeing the boys leave to chat males it so that (a) well, they're busy, might as well go chat to the girls instead of it feeling do forced, and (b) implies an actual bond between the boys - which makes the characters and the world feel more real. Male characters having relationships with each other? Outside of rivalries? What a concept!

I think the gems are well spent. Season 10 still has a bit of an issue with interesting drama only being introduced to you if you spend gems. But that also means that spending gems actually gets you something worth your money. Be it drama, intimate scenes with your LI or an extended scene where you get to clap back - I much prefer this over the alternative aka gem scenes being essentially meaningless (so essentially s5-s7)

I partially created this list because I've grown exhausted with the negativity in this fandom. Sure, there is also a lot to criticise. But despite all I still love litg. We've had unplayable seasons (s5) we've had mid seasons (s6 & s7), but recently we've also had some really good, replayable material (s8 & s9) that rivals the early stuff. And I think that deserves acknowledgement. So I'm gonna be cautiously hopeful for the rest of s10 and the future of litg.

[tumbleweed-writes]

Death and the Lady: Chibs Telford X Reader. Chapter Twelve

TAG LIST: @youngadult9016  @mrsfilipchibstelford @mamawiggers1980 @ravennaortiz @liveinsteadofdreaming @redwoodmaya

PREVIOUS CHAPTER HERE

18+ Only. Crude sexual language.

======

Chapter Twelve: Lamb

The door to the deputy sheriff’s office in Charming’s local P.D., was yanked open so hard that it could almost be considered a miracle it did not fracture the drywall against the doorknob as it slammed against the wall.

Deputy David Hale stared down at Agent June Stahl, his eyes dark and narrow the words flying from his lips. “You had my guys pull records on Tara Knowles and Y/N Y/L/N?”

Stahl gazed up at the infuriated deputy, her voice calm and cool showing no regard for his anger, she not even caring enough to address the question. “Did you enjoy your lunch break?”

Hale glared down at the ATF agent spotting the files spread out across the desk, his stomach turning at the clear sight of old mugshots featuring both Tara and Y/N along with police reports.

He didn’t understand what angle Stahl was working here. If she was interested in ol ladies then surely Gemma Teller Morrow would be a better choice. 

Tara and Y/N weren’t exactly on the same level as the Queen of SAMCRO. What could they possibly provide Stahl to build a RICO case against SAMCRO?

Both Tara and Y/N having questionable taste in romantic partners didn’t exactly mean they were involved in gun running. 

Deputy Hale slammed the door shut behind him not wanting any nearby ears to pick up on the conversation he was about to have with Stahl. He knew he’d already attracted a few gazes from both ATF agents and his fellow department coworkers by bursting in here clearly pissed off. 

He spoke his voice harsh, as he glared down at her, the agent looking all too comfortable sitting at his desk. “They have nothing to do with this investigation.”

“Oh, David. How willfully naive. They have so much to do with this investigation. You aren’t seeing the possibility behind these two.” Stahl remarked an amused smirk crossing her lips at how worked up the good deputy seemed to be over the mention of these two women.

It seemed that she had struck a nerve in him, and she was unable to avoid the temptation to strike again.

Hale let out a scoff at the comment addressing his first concern. “Tara Knowles left Charming and SAMCRO behind. She might have had a wild past, but she’s cleaned up her act. She went out to Chicago and got a medical degree. She’s not opening beers for outlaws anymore.”

“Oh, we both know that’s not entirely true. All these photos Agent Kohn provided seem to indicate that Dr. Knowles is starting to get a little close and personal with one very patched in Jackson Teller. Those two have a history judging by these police reports. Arrests in the nineties for public intoxication, disorderly conduct, and possession of stolen property, all in the company of one Jackson Teller.”

“They dated back when we were teenagers. We all did stupid things as teens. She left town at nineteen and left Teller and the MC behind. She’s been gone for over a decade now. She only came back because her dad died and she got a job opportunity out here.” Hale snapped Agent Stahl rolling her eyes at the comment.

“She was out in Chicago, David. She was top of the class from the looks of it. Brilliant young woman with the accolades to back it up, just how many job opportunities must those brains and accomplishments have brought in for her? With her background she could take a job anywhere in the country at any hospital of her choice. Why’d she pick Charming? I can’t imagine it's just homesickness that led her back here. She could have stayed out in Chicago and made a hell of a lot more money than Saint Thomas is probably offering her. Why pick Saint Thomas and Charming? I think we both are well aware of Agent Kohn’s real reason for coming out to Charming. Agent Kohn is one sick puppy and I can’t imagine Tara was too keen on sticking around up in Chicago with him hanging around. Tara’s ex boyfriend becomes her stalker and she comes back to a town where her first love has a dangerous reputation. You don’t think that’s a little convenient? '' Stahl pointed out Hale gritting his jaw unwilling to admit that the answer to just why she’d come back home lay in Jax Teller.

He spoke, still refusing to admit that Tara could possibly have any possible information to build a RICO case. “I’m sure Jackson Teller’s boy being premature has made Tara and he take some walks down memory lane, but Tara is no ol lady. She’s not getting any pillow talk about gun running from anyone in SAMCRO. Agent Kohn has been taken care of. He’s heading back to Chicago to answer to his superiors. Tara Knowles isn’t looking to seek protection from Teller.”

Stahl raised a brow at the comments, shrugging her shoulders as she spoke. “That may be the case, but you do have to be a little curious about the similarities between Dr. Knowles and Miss. Y/L/N. Both young women with troubled criminally prone backgrounds who left town only to come back after losing their fathers. Both women have been seen in the company of at least one patched in member of SAMCRO. In fact, both women share some similarities in their rap sheets. Looks like they have both been arrested in the company of one Jackson Teller. I do have to wonder if Dr. Knowles knows that Jax found a new Bonnie to his Clyde in her absence.”

Hale let out a huff at this, his voice holding an edge of irritation as he glared down at Stahl. “Y/N had some difficult years in her late teens and early twenties. Jackson and she shared a bond given her brother’s accident.”

“Yes, Daniel Y/L/N. It’s a shame what happened to him. Miss. Y/L/N dutifully pays those institutionalization bills to keep him cared for.  Looks like he wasn’t on the best path though. He ran around with Harry Opie Winston and Jackson Teller from what I’m gathering from Daniel’s police record. Looks like his first few arrests weren’t anything too grand, arrests in his late teens for possession of marijuana…not enough to get him more than a fine…some drunk and disorderlies around the same time. He was arrested with both Winston and Teller for a drunken brawl out at the Hairy Dog back when he was twenty one. The arresting officer commented that Mr. Y/L/N seemed elated by the violence. Judging by the black eye and the grin on his face in this mugshot, he was in his element. Strange how he never prospected for the MC. Looks like he was as thick as thieves with Teller and Winston before the accident.”

“His father kept him on a tight leash. After that arrest at twenty one he gave him an ultimatum, some tough love to get him on the right path. From my understanding he told him to get his shit together and enroll in community college or lose access to Y/N. His father didn’t want him leading her down that path. Daniel loved his little sister dearly. She worshiped Daniel and their father knew she’d follow him anywhere. His accident was heartbreaking for her. He may as well have died with as hard as she took it. He was more than a brother to her. I'm sure she viewed Daniel as being her best friend.” Hale explained shifting in place his stomach turning at the mention of a young man he’d once considered a friend before Daniel started going down a bad path with Opie and Jax.

“Looks like the ultimatum was in vain. Daniel Y/L/N has his motorcycle accident and that same year Y/N gets arrested in the company of Jackson Teller. She got busted for public intoxication. Scandalous considering she was all of eighteen and Mr. Teller was about twenty three, a little too old to be sniffing around her, but we both know the MC isn't filled morally upstanding guys. Her being barely out of being considered jailbait must have been thrilling for the boys at SAMCRO.” Stahl provided proudly displaying the mugshot.

Hale gazed down at the mugshot of an eighteen year old Y/N, her face still holding baby fat, her hair a faded pink that had gone a peachy tone, a dazed look in her eyes; she was clearly under the influence. He could spot chipped black nail polish on her fingers and a silver stud in her left nostril. The tank top she wore was far too low cut revealing the red lace of a bra. The slight smirk on her red painted lips showed that she felt little shame for her very first arrest.

Stahl spoke again providing more information about Y/N’s arrest record. “She continued to become a frequent flier in your jail cells. Looks like she got picked up a few more times at eighteen and nineteen, drunk and disorderly, driving under the influence, driving under the influence on a suspended license, possession of the tiniest amount of pot which wasn't enough to be an issue if she wasn’t clearly drunk, an arrest for shoplifting a pack of cigarettes and a candy bar where the arresting officer noted she seemed intoxicated. You picked her up more than once for some of these arrests…that must have been awkward for you both. Looks like she got a few slaps on the wrist, some fines, and some court ordered community service along with a few alcohol education courses. Didn’t seem to faze her though as the arrests continued…gotta love a small town police department. Most of this crap would have landed her doing some real time anywhere but Charming.”

“Sheriff Unser respected her father…everyone respected her father for the good he did for the community; caring for the deceased. He was a beloved figure around Charming. People saw him as personable and caring for the bereaved and diligent about caring for the dead. He had a reputation for being charitable to those who couldn’t always afford to bury their dead…made him even more adored around town. People felt sorry for him after Daniel’s accident…people around town felt awful for the man losing his son and having a daughter who wasn’t coping well. Lloyd Y/L/N advocated for his daughter to stay out of the system…Unser felt bad given what happened with Daniel, didn’t want Lloyd to lose another kid…The judge who ordered the community service and alcohol awareness courses felt the same way given Unser’s appeals to give Y/N opportunities to get her life on the right track. I don’t know how he kept her out of any real jail time or any harsher punishments…Unser’s a slick son of a bitch. I’m sure some money passed between Lloyd Y/L/N’s palm and the judge’s at least once. Lloyd Y/L/N was morally upstanding, but when it came to his little girl…he was willing and desperate enough to break his morals…especially given the situation with his son. He couldn't bear to lose Y/N too.” Hale provided, gritting his jaw at the thought of Unser.

Stahl shook her head. “Guess it’s good to be friends with Unser. Looks like Unser’s appeals kept her out of too much trouble, but she didn’t get her life on the right track. There’s a few more arrests here at nineteen. This one is interesting; an arrest in the company of one Alexander Tig Trager and one Robert Bobby Elvis Munson at a truck stop right on the edge of Charming city limits. Looks like she was about to turn nineteen and all three were clearly very under the influence. Trager was driving erratically and the officer noted that Y/N was so intoxicated that she fell out of the passengers door when the officer opened it. Local PD couldn’t prove that either man had provided the alcohol for Miss. Y/L/N, so Trager and Munson didn’t get more than a slap on the wrist for being in the company of an intoxicated minor. You do have to admit it's troubling a girl her age was hanging out with two men that age. Rumors around town are that Miss. Y/L/N was a regular at SAMCRO’s clubhouse. Looks like she was a…croweater? Isn’t that the term the Sons use for the club whores?”

The comment made Hale see red, the man speaking his voice harsh. “She kept bad company back then, but she was not playing the croweater game. She was not spreading her legs for every single guy in a kutte.” 

Stahl smirked at the comment, quickly addressing it. “Sounds like I struck a nerve there, David. You’re getting a little defensive about Miss. Y/L/N’s promiscuous past? One might think you’re sweet on her.”

She smirked all the more as she spotted the way Hale tensed all the more at the comment. She spotted a flash of indignation in the man’s eyes at the implication that Y/N was a club tart. “You arrested her a few times back then, David? That must have been frustrating for you in more ways than one. I bet you wanted to place her in handcuffs in much different circumstances.”

Hale scoffed at this comment shaking his head, his voice tense he refusing to address the innuendo about handcuffs and Y/N the thought making him a little hot under the collar. “I was close with her brother when we were kids. Having to arrest Y/N was not something I found enjoyable.”

Stahl sighed, backing off the teasing as she pulled out another mugshot. “Looks like she was around nineteen and twenty when things got a little disturbing for Miss Y/L/N. Her partner in crime shifted from Jackson and a few members of SAMCRO and to one Nathaniel Gunner Papadopoulos. Nathaniel or Gunner as he goes by is a Son. Looks like he was a nomad at the time, but nowadays he’s fully patched into the Tacoma charter of the Sons. The first arrests with him follow the same path; public intoxication and drunk and disorderly…then things get dark. There were a few calls out to bars around town where the two had some verbal altercations, there were no arrests for these as they vacated the premises and that satisfied the bar owners. Then there was an arrest outside a gas station for being disorderly in public…Y/N is about nineteen here and Gunner is about twenty six…looks like they got into a verbal altercation once again and Mr. Papadopoulos struck Miss. Y/L/N…he was arrested. She was taken in after she tried to argue with the arresting officer and interfere with the arrest of Mr. Papadopoulos. It seems she was frustrated that he was being arrested as she did not want to press charges for the physical assault on her. That was the first arrest for an altercation between the pair where things got physical. Looks like one of the final arrests we have of the pair involved an altercation the two had outside of a diner when Miss. Y/L/N was twenty. You were one of the responding officers from what I see”.

Hale shifted in place, his jaw clenching so tight he looked as though he might crack a tooth. He cringed as Stahl continued. “Chances are you must remember the arrest, but I can refresh your memory. From the police record it looks as though Mr. Popadopoulos and Miss. Y/L/N were under the influence and having a lovers spat in the parking lot of the diner, over the waitress getting a little too friendly with Mr. Papadopoulos, when Papadopoulos struck Miss. Y/L/N. She reacted by hitting him back and it devolved into a full on physical altercation. Looks like she got him pretty good judging by the scratch marks across his face and the bruises he’s sporting. He seems to have gotten her better though given the split lip. The arresting officer who you were with noted past bruises on Miss. Y/L/N and indicated suspicion of domestic violence, but Miss. Y/L/N seemed to brush questions about it off as evidence of rough sexual encounters between Mr. Papadopoulos and her. You noted in your notes on the arrest that you tried to urge Miss. Y/L/N to press charges against Mr. Papadopoulos as her reaction could be written off as self defense..but she was not interested. The two spent the night in jail and one of the Sons, looks like one of Gunner's fellow nomads that was visiting the mother charter, bailed Gunner out the next morning…Gunner then bailed Miss. Y/L/N out…how romantic. The mugshots are not pretty”

Hale let out a heavy breath, his body filled with tension as he gazed down at the mugshot in question. Y/N looked far less proud of herself in this photo. Her right eye was swollen, the hint of a black eye starting to develop. Her lip was split courtesy of one of Gunner’s silver chunky biker rings. She was dressed in another tight tank top and it did little to hide the bruises across her skin, some markings old and some quite recent. Her eyes held an almost empty sense to them as though she was running on autopilot most of the time but disconnected from her surroundings. Her body seemed too thin and it felt as though it was from more than aging. He suspected drug use though he could not place the drug in question without testing her. Her hair had faded back to its natural tone and the nose piercing was gone. She was scowling at the camera clearly filled with rage.

Hale spoke the words leaving him before he could stop them  “I tried to get her to press charges against the bastard. I tried to convince her that he was taking her down a bad path. He had her under some kind of spell or something I don’t know…She left town a few months after that last arrest. Rumors around town said that she was seen using a phone booth near main street looking worse for wear. Her father picked her up and got her out of town.”

Hale took a deep breath, his words harsh he tearing his eyes from the mugshot. “Y/N’s past has no bearing on anything. She has straightened herself out. She’s taken over her father’s business and has stayed on the straightened arrow. She’s grown up.”

“Maybe so…those empty graves that were found back in the cemetery months ago do seem fishy though…given the bodies that disappeared from the Sons warehouse right around the time those bodies from the empty graves were found out in Lodi. Those empty graves were filled by Miss. Y/L/N’s funeral home. Lodi cops seem to have lost steam for the case…and they were satisfied with Miss. Y/L/N’s statements about the incident. Does seem interesting that she comes back to town and just so happens to get involved with a member of SAMCRO right around the time that this whole grave robbing and disappearing bodies situation happens. How convenient for SAMCRO.”

Hale cleared his throat knowing he had his own suspicions about Y/N’s involvement, but he could admit he was choosing to live in denial over the reality of the situation.

He would be lying if he tried to claim he didn’t think of Y/N and didn’t feel some sense of fondness for her.

In some way he still remembered her as the talkative little girl who followed her brother and he around when they were kids.

He thought of her as the lonely child who according to his younger sister never could fit in with their peers.

He'd always felt a sense of care for Y/N none the less. He could remember her being vibrant and brave. She was at times a little too fierce and so unapologetic that it bordered on being rude. He could remember finding the quality somewhat admirable though; her willingness to be so brazen.

As she’d grown she’d seemed determined to follow her brother’s path in the company she kept. Hale had been displeased by her rebellion. He had hoped that her brother's accident would scare her straight but it seemed to push her into a life of chaos. She'd clung to the men who her brother had once run amuck with.

Jackson Teller had seemed willing to take Y/N under his wing and lead her to destruction.

Hale would be lying if he tried to claim he didn’t feel slightly disturbed as he stood aside and watched Y/N grow into an attractive young woman who seemed to be all too comfortable around the local outlaw MC. He’d maybe gone out of his way back then to try to coax her into understanding that she was down a bad path. He'd been a rookie cop back then and had been all too aware of Y/N's bad behavior. He'd tried to reason with her using his past friendship with her brother to coax her into getting on the right path. When Gunner had gotten involved with her that coaxing had increased but Y/N had practically spit in Hale’s face at his attempts to rescue her from her situation.

He’d been grateful when she'd left town. He'd hoped that she was getting her head on straight. When she came back to town Hale had hopes that she’d grown up in her time away. He’d been relieved when it seemed she’d turned over a new leaf.

Hale could admit that he'd been hopeful that she was done with bad boys in kuttes.

He could also admit that he'd felt a sense of attraction for the young woman who had returned to run her father's funeral home. She seemed a far cry from the angry young woman who used to run around with the MC.

He had been stunned to realize that he no longer viewed her as his old childhood friend's rebellious baby sister. She had grown into an elegant young woman who was dedicated to a respectful career.

He had hopes that perhaps her taste in men had matured as well along with the more sophisticated appearance she'd adopted.

He’d maybe even tried to ask her to dinner or coffee once or twice but she’d rejected the offers. He’d told himself not to take offense to her rejection. He'd decided that perhaps Y/N was going through a difficult time, losing her father and being back in a town she probably was not thrilled to be in.

He had told himself to bide his time and be patient. He had hopes that perhaps she would settle into town and then maybe be more inclined to give him at least one date.

He had hopes that perhaps he could shoot his shot with her again, but had his hopes dashed when she clearly became involved with SAMCRO once again. 

When he’d realized she’d chosen Filip Chibs Telford of all men, Hale had been disgusted. The older Scotsman seemed so wrong for her, and she seemed blind to this fact.

It was kind of insulting realizing she'd turned Hale down and chosen Chibs Telford. Though, Hale had a feeling he'd be insulted if she'd chosen any Son after rejecting him more than once.

It was as though Stahl could read his mind because she spoke all too giddy to pull out another file from the stack. “It seems Miss. Y/L/N still favors a bad boy in a kutte and she still likes her men older. Filip Chibs Telford is an interesting man. He has past rumored ties to the True IRA. He’s been arrested a few times in Belfast, but nothing could ever stick. His wife though…he’s still very much married by the way…is True IRA Royalty. Fiona Larkin is third generation True IRA. She got Telford involved in the cause. They were childhood sweethearts from what I know. The two were living as a married couple for a few years before they had their daughter. They have one child, Kerrianne Larkin Telford. She’s about twelve going on thirteen. Looks like they were a happy little family of terrorists for a few years at least. That changed most likely when one Jimmy O’Phalen rose up in the ranks of the cause. Looks like Jimmy O’ didn’t seem to be a fan of Telford. Rumors have it that O’Phalen scarred Telford’s cheeks and took his family as his own…banished Telford from the cause and Ireland. Telford fell in with SAMBEL…guess he didn’t take the threat to get out of Belfast too seriously though it looks like he only remained in Ireland with SAMBEL for a couple of years…he patched over to SAMCRO right around the Spring of 2000. He rolled into town a few months after Miss. Y/L/N left town…can you imagine if he’d made it stateside a few months before she left…the pair would have found each other sooner. Either way it looks like the pair found each other. I spotted them out and about the other day and by the look of affection I spotted him giving her, I would guess Y/N has been given ol lady status by Telford. She doesn't appear to be sporting the crow ink some of the other ol ladies are, but all the same...the looks he was giving her screamed love…do have to wonder if she knows he’s married.”

She paused watching Hale’s jaw tense a smirk crossing her lips before she spoke again. “She knows how to pick them doesn't she? I bet Telford gives Y/N all sorts of juicy bits of pillow talk…sweet little tight thing like her must make him all relaxed and satisfied enough to get those lips moving. Pussy gets men talking; especially trusted pussy that they love. Judging by the looks Telford gives her around town; he’s dedicated. Given his traumatic past and his appearance, I bet it wasn’t hard to get him dedicated. I have a feeling that Y/N doesn’t have to do much to get him talking. Bet she only has to suck him off to get all sorts of information out of him.”

“She’s not going to say a word, if she is an ol lady, she’s been given the orders on how to handle questions about the club. Even if Chibs is giving her details she won’t betray him.�� Hale snapped trying to push thoughts of Y/N and Chibs doing anything slightly sexual from his head, the thought feeling him with both disgust and envy of what the Scotsman managed to have with Y/N.

Stahl shrugged her shoulders as she spoke. “Even if she doesn’t know he’s still married? Bet if we dropped some truth on her about her boyfriend’s current marital status, we might get her pissed off enough to run her mouth. If he betrayed her then well…hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

“And if she knows he’s married.” Hale remarked what Stahl was suggesting make bile rise in the back of his throat. Call it a crush or fondness or whatever, but he didn’t like the idea of breaking Y/N’s heart to get information.

“If the tart is fine with being a mistress then I’m sure we can find some other way to get her lips moving. It doesn’t hurt to give her some pressure and see how she handles it.” Stahl provided a smirk crossing her lips at the rage in Hale’s eyes at the statement about Y/N being a tart.

She spoke again, a chuckle leaving her. “Don’t look so gloomy David, this might work in your favor. We get Telford out of the picture and you might just have a shot. Maybe we push her off bad boys, you can play white knight. You can finally put those handcuffs to use with her in a far more pleasant environment. Of course that might put a stop to the fun we’ve been having together hmm, but who am I to stand in the way of true love.”

He scoffed at the comment, his shoulders tensing at the suggestion as well as the implication of what Stahl and he had fallen into.

Stahl let out a sigh. “She can have you when I’m done. Trust me David, we can always press the ol ladies. No information is useless in RICO.”

Hale cringed at the comment, his stomach turning at this plan. 

He took a deep breath, having the feeling that Stahl was in for a challenge. Y/N was a tough nut to crack. 

Pissed off Y/N didn’t run her mouth. She just lashed out.

—----------------------------------------------

Y/N was surprised and relieved to see the roses left on her parent’s gravestones. She could admit she’d not been to the graveside since her father’s burial.

She’d been to the cemetery plenty enough thanks to her work…but she’d not had the nerve to walk over to the section where quite a few of her family were laid to their final rests.

Her paternal ancestors and their spouses were all buried close by one another. The oldest section of the cemetery held her oldest ancestors and their offspring. 

She knew that one day she herself would most likely be buried here alongside her family. There were already two plots at her parents' side that technically belonged to her.

Her father was always one to plan ahead when it came to funerals and had purchased the plots remarking Y/N could keep them for Daniel and herself or if she married and wanted to be buried with her future spouse she could sell her plot.

She had rolled her eyes at the comment about marriage of course. The idea had seemed preposterous given her tumultuous dating history and how most men who might be ideal for a future spouse showed her little interest aside from gazing longingly at her body.

She’d dated a few guys out in New York. She’d even had one pretty serious boyfriend but it had fizzled out before any serious talk about marriage and the future had come to fruition.

She knew her past held her back in her relationships in New York. How was she supposed to explain her past with the MC in Charming to prospective life partners?

She knew her most recent ex-boyfriend had some suspicions about her past…given her tendency to occasionally flinch during moments of intimacy that got a little too rough. She had never worked up the nerve to go into the full story though. She had a feeling her ex had sensed her trauma but had not been equipped to deal with it when she’d shut down any pleas for information about her past.

She was not quite ready to go into her background with that boyfriend. She was certain he couldn’t handle her past. So, she’d pushed him away the same way she did with most boyfriends. Scaring guys and pushing them out with cold behavior was easier than going into detail about her time as a friend of SAMCRO and the pain she’d endured at Gunner’s hands.

Chibs Telford was the first romantic partner who had any knowledge of what Gunner had done to her as well as her past sexual encounters with both Jax and a few other men.

She was stunned by Chibs’ reaction. He not only still wanted her, but had proven to her that he desired her.

It was not an outcome she had imagined when she’d allowed herself to imagine what might happen if she were to ever reveal the darker parts of her past to a man who liked her.

She kept thinking back to the words Chibs had said to her after he’d eaten her out; that he wanted to show her how she deserved to be treated.

It was a new and exciting concept to her; being treated well by a romantic partner.

She hoped that she’d proven to him that she wanted to treat him in kind. She couldn’t help but to think that with his own traumas he deserved to be reminded of how he deserved to be treated as well. 

She’d been more certain that he deserved all the tenderness and adoration on the planet by his reaction to the knowledge that she was planning on going to the gravesite today.

He’d offered to come along with her. He’d wanted to provide her with emotional support when she’d admitted she’d not gone to her parents' gravesite since her father’s funeral.

Y/N could admit she’d been tempted to let him tag along.

She’d resisted the urge to allow it though. She’d told herself that her first visit to the gravesite should be on her own.

Perhaps in the future though; she might let Chibs come with her.

A morbid voice in the back of her head told her it was the most depressing bring the guy you like home to meet the parents' situation, but she shushed the voice. 

She was also overtaken with the realization that she was an orphan now. She had no living parents…so that made her an orphan didn’t it?

A voice in the back of her head told her it was a dumb thought…everyone became an orphan at some point in their lives, so it wasn’t something that was that unique.

She shifted the red roses aside placing the daisies she’d purchased on either parent’s grave.

She had a feeling the roses left on each grave had been Old Charlie’s doing. Roses seemed more his taste than Skeeter’s.

She was not surprised to see that the graves had been well maintained, any flowers that had been left at her father’s funeral being taken away after they’d wilted. The area was clean and polished waiting for her.

She had a feeling that this was both Old Charlie’s and Skeeter’s doing. The men had most likely been out to the gravesite maintaining it until she felt ready to make it out. It was clear that they’d cared enough about her to make it neat and ready for her.

She found herself sitting on the ground directly in front of her father’s tombstone not caring if the dirt below her got her jeans somewhat dirty. It would be a long while before grass grew over the filled in grave. Grass had long ago grown over her mother’s filled in grave given that the woman had died when Y/N was so young.

She sighed, her eyes lingering on her mother’s tombstone for a brief moment. She rarely visited it. Her father had been the one who had gone out to maintain it.

She’d gone once or twice when she was a teenager looking for some maternal connection that she’d craved. She felt foolish for the action knowing she would not find that connection in a cold marble tombstone.

Her mother’s full name was written on the dark marble stone in neat font: Caroline Hope Y/L/N. Beloved Wife and Mother. Her birthdate and death date were written below the inscription. A small dove had been carved into the edge of the stone. It was a simple stone and Y/N had been certain her father had struggled to choose it as he’d planned her mother’s entire funeral.

She’d never quite understood how he’d had the mental strength to embalm and bury the woman he loved, but Y/N assumed that in her father’s mind it was just the last act of love he could give his wife. He’d made sure she was cared for. Y/N could distinctly remember seeing the clothing her mother had been buried in…a modest blue sundress with a white floral print and a pearl necklace. She had only been four then, but somehow her mother’s funeral dress was a core memory that had stuck. Her father had allowed Daniel and her to view their mother in the casket at the funeral. Daniel had run away from it but Y/N had remained staring at the woman. 

She was unsure if she loved or hated her father’s choice of giving her this core memory.

She tore her eyes from her mother’s tombstone, hating to admit she felt disconnected from the woman. Y/N felt a sense of love knowing that this was her mother, but she didn’t remember her clearly enough to feel the sense of grief she told herself she should feel.

She’d always held the thought in; certain it would upset her father. Her mother had been the love of her father’s life. She’d been his first and his last everything.

They’d met as teenagers and were one another’s first love. Her mother’s father had worked the funeral circuit preaching around Charming and surrounding towns and he’d brought his daughter along. Y/N’s father had been the funeral director’s son. 

Y/N’s parents had met for the first time at a funeral. It was not the most romantic meet-cute, but it was her parents. 

Her father had never remarried after her mother’s death. He’d not even dated. He’d remained dedicated to her even in death.

When Y/N was younger she’d hoped that she might be lucky enough to find love that deep with someone. 

As she’d gotten older though she’d become jaded by the concept.

She sighed, staring at her father’s tombstone, the dark marble was simple with her father's name engraved into the stone: Lloyd Oliver Y/L/N. Beloved Father. Dedicated Husband. Respected Mortician. 

The last addition had been her father’s request. Even in death he was proud of his profession.

She felt her throat grow tight telling herself this would feel cathartic even if she was just talking to a marble stone. “I’m sorry I haven’t been out here to visit…I’m actually sorry for a lot of things I’ve done lately.”

She clasped her hands together wringing them, her voice tense. “I can say without any hesitation that if you were still here right now…that saying sorry wouldn’t be enough with what I’ve done. I know how proud you were of our work…how proud you were that I followed you into the work you loved. I’m afraid I’ve sullied it though. You would hate what I’ve done…I fucked it up again, just like I always do. You know me; family disappointment as usual.”

She bit the inside of her cheek, her voice soft. “I’m sorry though, I really really am. I went down a path you’d hate. I got greedy and now I can’t get out of this…the sick thing is I was given a possible way out of it by Filip and I told him no. I am so desperate to burn in the hell of my own making. I…maybe I just like the pain. I think I deserve it in some sick way. How else do you explain why I’m so impulsive? I let the flame burn me and I never figure out that fire hurts…maybe I know it hurts but some part of me likes it. Maybe I’m sick? You did always worry about me…when I was a kid, I was way too interested in your job…Remember that teacher I had in elementary…fourth grade…she thought I was disturbed because I talked about your job so much…maybe I am. I mean what kind of person is so willing to do what I’ve done? What kind of girl prefers the company of the dead because the living scare the hell out of her? Maybe people around town are right about me? I’ve had a few boyfriends in New York tell me I’m not normal. Maybe at the end of the day I’m not right in the head…maybe I’m fucked mentally. How else do you explain the choices I make? I’ve always been quick to anger, too depressed, too impulsive, too starved for risk. I never know what’s good for me. I’ve had nice guys ask me out…back in New York…hell even Deputy Hale tried to take me to dinner pretty soon after I got into town… and I would rather scoop my eyes out with a melon baller than let a nice guy love me. I push people away because it protects me. I go for guys who don’t deserve me…I go for what hurts me. I let someone like Gunner violate me more than once and I stuck around. Maybe my brain is just abnormal.”

She sighed, shaking her head. “I always felt bad for you…two bad kids. How could such a nice guy have such bad kids? I used to blame you for it when you’d scold me for whatever crap I had pulled…say that you were too damn nice and that was probably why I was so rotten. I tried to say that maybe if you were less focused on your job and more focused on Danny and me then we’d not have turned out so bad. I know it was unfair to turn it back on you. I think I was parroting the perceptions I heard from people around town though…poor charitable respected Lloyd Y/L/N dedicated to his service to the community but cursed with two ungrateful brats. You were always fighting to keep me out of jail or worse…always dealing with Danny’s health after the accident…always trying to balance the job with making sure your kids stayed alive. I know Danny and I both gave you hell…You died thinking that I was finally done giving you hell…but surprise.”

She let out a shaky sigh, her fingers reaching out to trace the birth and death date on the tombstone. “You died thinking SAMCRO was a thing of my past…you thought your biker whore daughter had finally grown up…I know you’d hate me for calling myself that. You never were fond of my choice in language especially when I used it to degrade myself. I know I always tried to take some high ground and claim that I was nothing like the girls that hung around the MC and threw themselves at anything in a kutte…was I really any better though at the end of the day? I may have been a bit more discerning in who I fucked but…I still liked a man in a kutte and a criminal record a mile long. I loved the danger…I loved the chaos. Nice guys who worked nine to five jobs just didn’t do it for me like the outlaws could. I wasn’t satisfied with a dick unless the guy attached to it had a rap sheet.”

She rolled her eyes, the words leaving her. “I know…just what every man wants to hear about, his daughter’s sex life. I guess you aren’t really here to hear it though…I hope you’re not hanging around watching me that much. That would be kind of creepy if you were just hanging around watching me 24-7.”

She let out another shaky breath as she spoke. “I met someone…Jesus, Daddy, you’d hate Filip. You would take one look at the reaper on his back and kill him on sight. You’d ship me back to New York if you were still here. You would not even give Filip a minute of your time to even attempt to win you over. You would look at his appearance and who he is and want me to get away from him. You’d see the scars on his cheeks and the kutte on his back and that would be that, no chance of accepting him.”

She shook her head, a small humorless laugh leaving her. “I know the age difference would make you less than enthusiastic. He’s forty five years old…just turned forty five. He was about sixteen when I was born. If that wasn’t enough to make you cringe…He’s got a wife and a kid back in Belfast…they’re estranged but they are still there…You’d take one look at those facts and shoot him on sight. I’m sure you’d take me for a fool…your poor damaged daughter hooked up with the married outlaw biker who is way too old for her…and if that didn’t piss you off you’d be so enraged about his past in Belfast even if I’d lie and try to tell you it's only rumors. I know you would just look at Filip and see danger. You’d see a guy who is going to destroy your kid. You wouldn’t think he’s good enough.”

She traced her father’s name, her voice soft. “I know what I’d say to you though. I’d say that he's good enough. I would tell you I don’t care about Belfast or who lives there…The age difference doesn’t bother me. I’d probably try to push your buttons and spit out some bullshit about how I am happy to call Filip Daddy even if he’s not quite old enough for that unless he was a teen dad. I’d probably tell you that a man his age has the experience to know how to make me feel so good, that he’s far more gifted in bed than guys my age.”

She paused, rolling her eyes. “I never was appropriate and I kind of lived to make you cringe back when I was having my rebellious years. I figured out that being vulgar and oversharing about anything sexual could make you back off and not suspect the reality of what I was going through. I was always capable of looking like a proper lady but my mouth and my tendency to love shocking people always ruined the prim lady disguise I wear.”

She cleared her throat, her words genuine. “I would be telling you the truth about him being worthy of me…he reminds me everyday that he wants to be worthy of having me. He’s tried pretty damn hard to woo me. I think even you’d be approving of the effort he’s put into it…the man didn’t run screaming when I told him what a trocar was. That’s impressive, you’d have to admit it. He asks me questions about my job; not to appease me or charm me, but because he wants to hear what I have to say. He’s been good to me. He makes me feel safe. I don’t think anyone has ever made me feel safe…at least not a romantic partner. I’ve never felt this protected with anyone.”

She felt her throat grow tight, spilling more of her heart. “I told him about Gunner…told him more than I even dared to ever tell anyone…even you. Pretty sure he’s the first person besides a therapist who knows all the details. I told him every last detail. He didn't run away like I feared he would. I was sure he’d run…or worse he’d look at me differently…like I am in fact just the biker groupie everyone around town thought I was back then. I was afraid if he knew about Gunner and the others…that he would surely leave. I mean…how is a guy supposed to cope with the fact that some of the men he shares a kutte with have fucked the girl he’s dating…how is he supposed to deal with the fact that one of those men, even if it’s a man in another charter…did what he did to me…I don’t know, I’ve always struggled with admitting what the lack of consent with Gunner meant…saying the word. Filip is the one who said the word…told me how wrong it was…even told me he wanted Gunner dead for what he did to me. I expected my past to be too much for him or for him to develop this weird jealousy issue…you know how guys are when they know someone else has touched their possessions… Filip though, his reaction was to feel sorrow for me…he wanted to show me what being shown love is supposed to feel like…he wanted to protect me and get retribution for what happened to me. He offered to kill for me, Daddy…and he meant it. I know you’d probably not approve of the fact that he’s capable of such a thing…but I’d have to hope that you’d approve of his desire to keep me safe…to love me. Filip doesn’t view me as a possession. I know you’d find that really really hard to believe…men in his world have some pretty fucked views of women. I’m not claiming he’s some abnormality in that world. I just think I’m as much Filip’s as he’s mine though.”

She sighed knowing she was safe to say the words here with no one to listen. “I love him…I love Filip Telford. He doesn’t know about it yet…I’m half afraid to tell him. What if he doesn’t feel the same? I keep thinking of what you’d say…you’d probably tell me that if he’s dumb enough not to love me then he’s too dumb for me. I need him to love me though…it sounds so pathetic to say it…I've never claimed to need anyone to love me...I have always been the type to say that people can love me or hate me and I don't give a damn either way...I like to think I’m independent…that I could go back to life before I met him…I, so much has changed in my life so fast over these past months. I resisted his affections so much when I first met him...I was afraid of what he'd lead me to...of falling back in with SAMCRO. He's made it clear though that he has zero intention of leading me back into the pain that I found with his world...I’m scared of how my life has changed over these past few months, of how things have changed since you died and I came back home, but Filip…he makes it feel so much less scary. I’ve opened up to him so much about my past and I have never felt comfortable enough with anyone to do that. I don't feel so alone with him around. I've never felt that...belonging. I always try to pretend that I don't mind being alone. I try to say that loneliness is just a part of life...Filip makes me want to stop isolating myself...and not accept the idea that I just have to be alone. I have never had that with anyone...the sense that they feel lucky to have me around...the acceptance of me for who I am. I don't have to pretend not to be so morbid or so quick to anger. I don't feel like I have to hide the parts of me that scare other people around Filip. I need him more than he knows. I just keep hoping that maybe he needs me just as bad.”

She shook her head reaching up to wipe at a stray tear threatening to spill from her eye. "I can’t say that you’d be fond of Filip… I can’t say you two would love each other, or even try to pretend to get along…but I think that maybe my loving him would be enough for you…I think me being happy with him would be enough. You always worried about my happiness…about me finding my place in the world. I want to be in his world…it scares me, but I trust that he would keep me safe.”

She spoke again, pulling her hand back from the stone. “I’m going to visit more often…even if you aren’t here, I know you’re not really here…I want to bring Filip sometime. He wants to come with me…to support me. I’m going to let him. I am letting him in…you’d like that…me letting someone in.”

She adjusted the daisies in front of the stone as she spoke. “Even if you wouldn’t be proud of me, I hope you’d still love me. You told me once that a father never stops loving his child. I hope that’s true.”

She stood up, wiping the dirt from her jeans as she spoke. “I love you, Daddy. I’ll see you later.”

She turned ready to make the long trek back to her car hoping that she could maybe get a latte somewhere to perk up enough to make it to the grocery store to gather the items she needed for the week.

She paused as a woman approached her. The professional looking woman was thin and tall with straight dark blonde hair and a pantsuit that screamed Fed. She appeared to be in her mid thirties at least. Her lips were thin and she wore little makeup. She had a narrow straight nose and well manicured brows. Her eyes were dark and they were fixed on Y/N.

She felt a chill run down her spine as the woman approached her giving a calm smile that did not match the intensity of her gaze. “Y/N Y/L/N?”

Y/N nodded her head, her voice tense, she doing her best to appear relaxed and calm. “Speaking.”

The woman pulled a badge from her jacket pocket revealing that Y/N was right to think fed. “Agent June Stahl, ATF.”

Y/N sighed  keeping that same relaxed demeanor as she spoke. “Can I help you Agent Stahl?”

“I’m guessing you aren’t here on business? More of a personal visit?” Stahl asked, nodding down at the dark wash jeans and gray babydoll tee Y/N was wearing. 

Y/N spoke her stomach turning at Stahl’s avoidance of the question. “I’m not here for work.”

She paused speaking again trying to sound more assertive than she felt. “How can I help you?”

Stahl spoke as she shoved her badge back into her jacket pocket. “What do you know about SAMCRO?”

Y/N raised an eyebrow at the question. Stahl apparently was ready to jump right into it. She shrugged her shoulders giving the company line Chibs had taught her to give though she’d known the line long before Chibs and she had become involved. “That motorcycle club? Pretty sure they’re just a bunch of mechanics who are motorcycle enthusiasts. Pretty sure they throw a good wild party.”

Stahl smirked at the comment, not surprised by it. “Of course, Didn’t you used to be a frequent attendee of those wild parties?”

Y/N shifted in place, her arms crossing over her chest. “I did use to prefer Jack Daniels to mint tea. Didn’t everyone have a rebellious phase?”

Stahl nodded her head, not missing the chance. “And what a phase it was for you. I have to say I’m kind of annoyed but impressed, Y/N, several arrests under your belt and you served not a moment in a real jail cell. Looks like you got more than a few slaps on the wrist though…guess it helps that your daddy was buddy buddy with the local sheriff.”

Y/N held her head up high fast to respond, keeping her voice even refusing to address how her father had always been willing to appeal to Unser to keep her out of any real trouble. “I am not proud of my past behavior. If I could go back I’d change a few things.”

“Is SAMCRO one of those things you might change? I have taken a look at that rap sheet of yours, sweetheart, looks like the innocent club of motorcycle enthusiasts got you into some trouble back in the day.” Stahl remarked, stepping closer to Y/N.

Y/N stepped back a frown crossing her features. “Like I said, I indulged a little too hard back then…people do dumb shit when they’re drunk.”

“Is one of those dumb things Nathaniel Papadopoulos? Or Gunner…as he seems to insist on being called?” Stahl remarked not shy about bringing up something that she knew would make Y/N cringe.

The mention of Gunner did just that. Y/N crossed her arms tighter, her voice picking up a hint of tension. “I did dumb shit when I drank as much as I did. He was the dumbest. I was nineteen years old when I met him…I wasn’t mature enough to pick romantic partners who were the best for me. Pretty sure most nineteen year olds pick shit men. I wised up and left him. It’s ancient history at this point in my life.”

“What about now? Just what kind of men are you picking?” Stahl remarked a cool smile crossing her lips as she attempted to prod the answer from Y/N.

Y/N sighed fast to respond. “Ones who don’t beat the shit out of me.”

Stahl reached into the professional looking messenger bag she had slung around her arm as she spoke, pulling out a file. “You do pick men with records though. You should have a peek at his.”

She handed the file to Y/N watching as the woman gazed down at it searching for any hint of a chance to pounce. 

Y/N gazed down at the open file in front of her, raising a brow at what was clearly Chibs’ rap sheet. She shrugged her shoulders, keeping her calm not bothering to read past a few lines not shocked by what she saw. “Is this supposed to mean something to me?”

Stahl smirked, nodding her head down at the file as she spoke. “Filip Chibs Telford is an interesting man isn't he…if you believe the rumors around town…I find that most rumors have some truth to them.”

She paused nodding down at the file again as she spoke. “You should flip to page two…the arrests in Belfast. He was court martialed and discharged from the Queens Armed Forces at nineteen. Looks like he had a temper in his youth. The arrests in Belfast continue from there. Pretty sure he got into a few brawls on the behalf of the cause…The True IRA tends to frown upon anyone they think may be a loyalist. Looks like Telford took offense to loyalty to the crown, looks like he was not afraid to fight dirty…then there’s the suspicion of a few bombings that he may or may not have been involved in, can’t get a clear answer on that one. Any investigations went nowhere…There were a few rumors about how he may have taken part in the murder of a Northern Irish police officer but there was never any proof to tie him and his associates to it…speaking of his associates in Belfast…his wife…Fiona, she’s definitely True IRA through and through. Third generation, comes by it honestly. Her mugshot is on page three…she got arrested with her husband for one of those brawls I talked about. She is a fiery one…darker than I expected though for an Irishwoman. Pretty sure she’s the Black Irish we always hear about.”

Y/N felt her stomach drop turning the page on autopilot gazing down at the pretty young woman in the photo and a photo of a young Chibs, his face free from the scars that Jimmy O’ had left him with.

Fiona was an elegant looking woman with wild dark curls and piercing dark eyes. Her nose was narrow and her lips were pressed into a smirk that showed she had no worries about having any mugshot taken. She gave off the energy of someone who was well versed in danger and quite content to invoke it if necessary.

Stahl spoke up, a slight smirk on her lips clearly hoping to strike a nerve. “You did know he’s married right?”

Y/N glanced up at Stahl, her face not giving the reaction the woman was probably hoping for. She kept her cool not letting the information of what Chibs had done in Belfast nor the photo of his estranged wife rattle her. “Yes, I was aware. They’re estranged. Divorce unfortunately is not an option…You know how the Catholics are? I’m afraid I don’t know too much about Filip’s years in Belfast aside from the mundane fact that he was a mechanic and that he left some tragedy behind.”

If Stahl was disappointed in Y/N’s reaction she didn’t reveal it as she replied to the comment. “Yes, a true tragedy. I guess you’ve heard all the rumors that fly around Belfast…Jimmy O’Phalen took Fiona and Chibs’ and her daughter for his own…left Telford with a reminder to not even attempt to get them back.”

Y/N clenched down on the file as Stahl motioned to her cheeks lining them along where Chibs’ scars were embedded into his cheeks. She spoke again, a sigh leaving her. “Telford joined up with SAMBEL after that…Guess he was familiar with the MC before hand, so, they were happy to take him on...even though rumor has it O’Phalen banished him from Ireland…guess the banishment finally kicked in though since Telford came stateside back in 2000. He hasn’t seen Fiona or his daughter since Kerrianne was around four. I’m amazed Telford got citizenship in the states…given his record and the trouble he’s gotten into out here.”

Y/N kept her voice flat as she replied. “America is the land of opportunity.”

“That it is…and what opportunity has he found with you?” Stahl dared to ask a small smile crossing her lips hoping to make Y/N squirm.

Y/N spoke knowing the line to give a hint of snark in her voice, deciding that being vulgar might work in her favor. “I open his beers and suck his dick. Pretty sure most men couldn’t ask for more.”

“And what does he say when you wrap those soft lips of yours around that dick of his?” Stahl remarked, proving she was just as vulgar.

Y/N gave her a smile that she hoped read as confident not above continuing with the line of conversation though she was full of shit…they’d not gone that far sexually just yet. “Pretty sure he’s too busy moaning when I take him down my throat. That Scottish accent of his is hard enough to understand on its own…the second he gets is dick wet I may as well not even try to decipher Glaswegian.”

“And what about afterwards…any juicy bits of pillowtalk? Orgasms tend to make lips loose, I find.” Stahl dared to ask she stepping even closer to Y/N.

Y/N gave her a calm smile, the words sliding from her. “He tends to start snoring after he cums…You know men. You rock their world and they reward you by conking out.”

She paused lying through her teeth deciding that playing up the sexual role would work in her favor. 

It was a game she’d learned to play during her time in the clubhouse…when she wanted to entice a man into giving her what she wanted. 

She found that playing the minx could work in her favor with men and could make straight women intimidated enough to slink back. “I will say that that is the one advantage to getting your rocks off with a woman. Women are a little better at pillowtalk…too bad I like a good thick dick more than a nice wet pussy.”

Stahl smirked giving Y/N a reaction that she’d expected to get if she’d been talking to a man. She sighed, the realization hitting her that Stahl was playing on both teams. She recognized a raging bisexual when she saw one. “I can only imagine…what a shame you have your preferences.”

Y/N spoke as she stepped back, dropping the flirty tone from her voice. “I don’t know too much about SAMCRO. I can’t imagine they’re too interesting. Just a bunch of mechanics who love a good Harley and a crazy party…Like I said, any trouble they may find is usually aided by booze…people do dumb shit when they drink. I’m afraid my party days are over. Most people don’t like the idea of the local undertaker sliding around a stripper pole in a biker clubhouse. Pretty sure Filip would not be too into the idea of seeing me on any pole unless he’s the only one watching.”

“I’ll say it again, what a shame.” Stahl remarked that smirk still on her lips though Y/N did spot a hint of annoyance in the woman’s eyes at the fact that Y/N was still feeding the company line on SAMCRO.

She paused speaking again. “Telford and you make an interesting pair…a funeral director and a biker…just how did you meet?”

Y/N gave her a calm smile, the lie sliding from her lips. “My Acura got a flat tire. We got to talking and one thing led to another. I’ve always had a thing for accents.”

Stahl spoke up, nodding over Y/N shoulder at the gravestones. “You came back to Charming to a big mess from what I heard. Your father left you with some debt?”

“Nothing I can’t handle.” Y/N remarked her voice cool and collected she snapping the folder she’d been holding shut.

Stahl nodded her head at the comment she daring to bring out the big guns. “I’ve taken a peek at those debts of yours. You paid a little chunk of them off in cash…Just where did you get the cash? The payment was in the thousands. Lots of cash to having lying around with your debts.”

Y/N remembered the lie Chibs had told her to tell. She was relieved he’d given her enough background about Clay and Gemma’s finances, so that she could tell a believable story.  “Gemma Teller Morrow asked for my expertise. Her poor grandson having such a frightful entrance into the world got her thinking about her own mortality. Her husband and she were willing to pay me quite well for my time to discuss plans. They know my time is valuable and they took up quite a bit of it…They were willing to make it worth my while as they kept me so busy and out of reach from any of my other duties at work…pretty sure Gemma has some oil investments that give her some nice payouts. I came to them for the plans…made a trip out to the garage to discuss it all and went through the trouble of bringing all of the catalogs I have. They choose a luxury option for their caskets…mahogany and satin. I don’t do home visits for funeral planning, so they wanted to make sure I was compensated for the exception I made for them. They paid me double my usual rate plus travel expenses.”

“That is an extravagant payout.” Stahl remarked her tone of voice hinting she did not buy Y/N’s tale.

Y/N shrugged her shoulders, her voice calm knowing she sounded heartless, but it was better to sound heartless than guilty. “People will pay anything to have peace of mind when it comes to death.”

Stahl dared to speak, nodding again at the cemetery around them. “I would have thought they might shy away from using your services…given what happened to those two men you buried a while back.”

Y/N let out a soft sigh shaking her head. “The grave robberies were an unfortunate incident. The families of those poor men were heartbroken over what happened to their loved ones' remains. I did everything in my power to make sure that they were cared for. The family was far more understanding than they had to be. They know I did my part when it came to the care of their loved ones before their final rests were disturbed. I hope the Lodi police find whoever was responsible for such a gruesome act. If I got my hands on them…well let’s just say I don’t approve of anyone fucking with my paychecks.”

Stahl smirked, hating to admit she was impressed with how quick the response was. Y/N was not an easy nut to crack. “And your boyfriend had nothing to do with those empty graves.”

“Why would Filip have anything to do with it? He’s just a mechanic.” Y/N remarked a small laugh leaving her she managing to make the accusation appear as though it sounded ridiculous to her.

“A mechanic with quite the record. You should hang on to that file, Y/N. Take a good look at it. There’s some really interesting bits of information there. Filip Telford is far from innocent. I think you are smart enough to know that. I am also thinking you aren’t so innocent either…that must be why he’s so obsessed with you. If that wife of his is any indication of the kind of woman he likes…then you are one bad girl.” Stahl remarked, nodding down to the folder still in Y/N’s hands.

Y/N gave Stahl a calm smile shrugging her shoulders. “I’m an absolute angel, Agent Stahl.”

She paused, giving the agent a flirty smile as she stepped around her ready to pass. “At least outside the bedroom. Now, if you excuse me. I have some errands to attend to. If you have any further questions you can find me at the funeral home.”

And with that Y/N found herself heading back to her car the folder she held clutched tightly in her hand.

She couldn’t decide if she wanted to burn the folder or not.

—-------------------------------

Chibs sighed rolling his eyes at Juice as he rounded the billiards table for what felt like the hundredth time. 

He spoke nodding down at the pool cue in the younger man’s hands. “Are ya takin yer damn shot or not? I ain’ got all day, Juicey.”

Juice scowled at the older man, his voice tight. “We put money on this okay? I don’t trust you after last time. I still say you hustled me, talked that damn croweater into distracting me and putting me off my game.”

“Aint my fault yer a shite pool player. I won fair an square.” Chibs snapped back a small smirk on his lips knowing that he had maybe talked the buxom blonde croweater Juice was recalling into helping distract Juice from the game.

It hadn’t been too selfish in Chibs’ opinion. He got Juice laid.

Chibs sighed as his cell phone began to chime he yanking it from his kutte knowing he might as well have a phone call since Juice was nowhere near getting on with the game.

He felt his heart lift at the familiar number as it flashed along his screen. He hit accept call, his voice becoming far more cheery than it had been moments before. “Hen, what are ye doin?”

“I need you, Filip.” She blurted out the comment striking him off guard.

The words were appealing but he was not hearing them in the context he would prefer. Her voice seemed panicked.

She spoke again knowing she sounded paranoid but a voice told her if Stahl was interested in her then who was to say that the feds hadn’t found a way to listen in on her calls. She had little idea how bugging phones worked outside of movies. “I need help with my lamb…seasoning it. You know what to do with lamb.”

Chibs furrowed his brow, thrown off even more by the comment. Y/N didn’t eat lamb.

He’d learned that bit of information when he’d mentioned Half Sack’s vegetarianism to Y/N as well as Gemma’s criticism of vegetarians. Y/N had commented that she was not a vegetarian and didn’t think she would be strong willed enough to be one. She did admit that she couldn’t bring herself to eat veal or lamb though. She had commented that she knew it was stupid as she’d eat the adult versions of cows at least…but she couldn’t get herself to eat lamb nor veal as they were both baby animals. He could remember finding the comment kind of sweet though amusing.

He felt his stomach turn it hitting him she was worried that someone was listening in on the conversation. 

He spoke trying to keep his calm and not fly off the handle at the thought. “Are ya safe, Love? Is anyone following ya? Are ya alone?”

“Yeah, no. You know it. I uh…just ran into someone while I was out…we got to talking as she reminded me of how much a pain lamb is to deal with. I know you know just what to do with lamb. So, I thought I’d call in the expert. I thought I might call Gemma about it…you remember what she told me about lamb back when we met to make those future funeral plans for Clay and her. I figured that you might be the person to go to though.” Y/N remarked still keeping her cool not helping but to feel like a moron for this entire charade.

She had a feeling that Chibs seemed to have caught up on the game though and was intelligent enough to decode what she was trying to say.

He spoke tossing the pool cue he’d been holding down on the table not caring if it scattered the balls and alarmed Juice. “Aye, I’ll be there, Hen. Don’t ya worry Mo ghràidh. I’ll handle the lamb fer ye.”

“Okay, be at my place…I’m headed there now.” She provided saying the remaining words in her head. I love you, Filip.

“Aye, I’ll be there soon.” He replied unaware that she was thinking the same thing he was currently thinking. I love you.

He hung up his cell sending Juice nod as he turned to leave. “Game’s over, Laddie. If Clay asks I’m goin to see my ol lady. Gotta help her with some lamb. Tell Gemma to give me a call. She knows what to do with lamb.”

Juice furrowed his brow as he watched Chibs leave the man not paying him any mind. He spoke to an empty clubhouse completely confused by the interaction. “Lamb?”

—----------------------------------------------

Her lips met his the second he walked in the door.

Chibs let himself into Y/L/N and Sons Funeral Home well past knocking and waiting for someone to allow him entrance.

He’d spent almost every night in the home this past week, so formalites like knocking had been forgotten.

He made his way upstairs nodding to Skeeter, the man giving him only rolled eyes in response.

As soon as Chibs stepped past the sliding door that led him into Y/N’s living quarters her lips met his in a bruising kiss.

He returned the kiss, his hands sliding along her body appreciating the figure he’d been shamefully admiring since their first meeting.

She pulled from his lips reluctantly, her voice sounding frantic now that she was far away from Agent Stahl. “An ATF agent ran into me at the cemetery today. Had some questions for me.”

“Shite, who was it?” Chibs dared to ask, having the feeling he already knew the answer.

Y/N took a deep breath trying to calm her anxieties. “Agent Stahl…fucking bitch tried to push my buttons by asking me about my past…Gunner and some other shit. She was eager to mention your wife…and shit that happened in Belfast. Tried to show me mugshots and your criminal record. She left a freaking file with me and told me to take a look at it so I could learn all about you. She’s trying to make me crack and run my mouth. Pretty sure she thinks that if she makes me afraid of you then I’ll turn and give her enough to go after SAMCRO.”

Chibs clenched his jaw, shaking his head, his hold on Y/N tightening. “What’d ye say?”

“I told her I know nothing about what you were up to in Belfast. I know about your wife and am unbothered by it. I know nothing about SAMCRO. I told her all I do is suck your dick and open your beers…I got pretty graphic on that last detail.”

Chibs smirked at the comment, his hand wandering down her body to give her backside a squeeze he was unable to stop himself. “Aye, ye ain given me that privilege yet, Hen. Probably had to use yer imagination on that one, aye?”

She sighed, shaking her head at the comment though it did make a hint of smile cross her features. “I thought the lewd angle would unnerve her…I have the weirdest sense that it turned her on. Pretty sure I can spot a bisexual from a mile away.”

Chibs rose a brow at the information. He spoke, shaking his head at the comment. “Ye know I would rather hear bout ye gettin a woman hot and bothered if she wasn’t a Fed.”

“I know you would…sadly I’m telling you what I told her…pussy doesn’t do it for me the same way a dick does. I have no interest in muff diving anytime soon, sorry to break your heart.” She commented, not shocked by this line of conversation. He truly was a male through and through.

“Aye, can’t say I’m disappointed…I don’t like sharin.” He remarked, surprising her by the certainty in his voice.

He sighed his hand running up and down her back as he spoke again. “Did ye look at the record? My rap sheet?”

“Not really…She mentioned a bunch of crap you pulled in Belfast. Saw a mugshot of Fiona and you…Stahl loved shoving that in my face. She tried to coax me into looking into the entire file.” Y/N explained noticing the tension in Chibs’ body at the mention of his estranged wife and of Belfast.

He felt his throat grow tight as he spoke again knowing that there was nothing he regretted in that file she was discussing. He had to fear that Y/N might find some things she was not pleased to learn about him…especially during his time with the cause. “Wouldn’t care if ye wanted to look at the entire file…ye probably should know bout the lad yer datin.” 

Y/N spoke so certain of the words that left her. “I know who I’m dating. I’m dating someone who has been so sweet and so protective of me right from the start. I’m dating someone who makes me laugh and as I recall eats me out like his life depends on it…which indicates he’s going to be pretty well versed in doing other things in the bedroom.”

She paused, pressing a kiss to his cheek catching the hitch in his breath at the mention of their bedroom activities. She spoke again, her voice soothing. “I’m dating a man who has known more pain than any human being should ever have to know, but still remains so strong and so compassionate. I’m dating a man who is loyal to his brothers and would do whatever it takes to protect what he believes in. I’m dating a guy who goes above and beyond to look out for me. He rushed all the way over here after I called him ranting about lamb like a nutcase…he offered to kill someone for me because he knows they caused me pain.”

She spotted his hold on her grew tighter at the mention of Gunner. She spoke once again, her lips pressing back to his cheek. “The man I’m dating has listened to me cry over my brother and my father on our first date and didn’t run screaming. He doesn’t care if my job scares the hell out of everyone. He treats me better than I ever believed I deserved. He proves to me each and every day that he wants me to be treated with all the adoration and security on the planet. He makes me feel safer than anyone has ever been capable of making me feel. I know just who I’m dating. I don’t need a criminal record to tell me a thing about him. I know who he is outside of shit he’s done.”

He sighed, his lips sliding along hers relief washing over him. She spoke as she pulled from the kiss her voice soft. “I don’t need a fucking ATF agent to tell me who I’m dating, because I know him better than she ever will.”

She spoke again, her voice firm. “I am not telling her shit. I’m sure it won’t be the last time she tries to press me over this. I know that ATF is up SAMCRO’s collective ass right now. I’m not telling her a thing though Filip.”

“Aye, I know, Hen. I trust ye. Ye did so good, Love. Fuckin gash doesn’ stand a chance with my lass.” Chibs praised her, the comment making Y/N preen somewhat. She was surprised by the feeling. She didn’t think she had a praise kink, but anything was possible.

He pressed a kiss to her lips he fast to speak again. “I want ye to keep tellin her the same thing, Hen. Ye don’t know shite. She ain’ got nothin on ye. She probably thought the fuckin life I was forced from in Belfast was some big secret I was keepin from ye.”

Y/N nodded her head knowing that was exactly what Stahl had been hoping for. She spoke a soft sigh leaving her. “She brought up the empty graves…Kept my story the same as always.”

“That’s my hen. Ye know yer in the clear on that mo ghràidh. Ye’d already be in handcuffs and been carted away if they had shite on that.” Chibs reassured her a sense of comfort washing over at at the words.

She knew he was right. It had been long enough. Lodi had left her alone and she had a feeling the ATF didn’t care about two empty graves when the local P.D. had failed to connect the dots between her, SAMCRO, and those bodies.

She had a feeling the ATF was more interested in the gun running that SAMCRO was secretly engaging in. 

Any pressure Stahl was placing on her was to entice her into slipping up and saying something Chibs had told her in confidence. She knew that the agent was getting nothing from her. 

Y/N would never betray the man she loved no matter how much Stahl irritated her and attempted to intimidate her.

She allowed her lips to slide along Chibs’ , the pair growing lost in the moment. She parted her lips from his knowing that there was only one thing she wanted at this moment that could make this day seem less awful. “I want you to take me to my room and love me so good that I forget all this crap.”

Chibs felt his heart rate increase at the comment, a warm flush of lust spreading throughout him. Was she offering what he hoped? “Aye, is that so? Are ye sure, Hen? Ye want it all?”

She nodded her head stunned at the realization of how badly she wanted this. She pressed her lips to his the kiss feather light before she spoke. “I am so sure. Take me to my room and love me Filip.”

He felt the moan leave his lips as she took his hands in hers leading him from the room to their destination. 

He knew he had every intention of giving her what she was asking for. 

He would give her anything. It was a realization he was quite content with.

[elizmanderson]

For the ask game! 3, 12, 15 :)

in case anyone is interested, click here for the questions: link to Questions About Creating Your OCs

I'll be answering these questions using The Keeper of Lonely Spirits, my cozy fantasy about an old man cursed with immortality who hunts ghosts rather than making mortal friends who will die one day

3. How did you choose their name?

often my main characters choose their own names, but Peter was much less forthcoming with his name, which is unsurprising given *gestures* everything about him

we got there eventually lol but I'm pretty sure he was just "the groundskeeper" for a good while as I poked at baby name sites etc until a name grabbed me

(now he's "the groundskeeper" for narrative/arc/thematic reasons)

...but my next MC is named after a horse, semi-intentionally

(sorry to disappoint all the Horse Girls but it's a totally normal name, he's not named, like, Strike the Gold or whatever)

for surnames, The Keeper of Lonely Spirits borrows heavily from my own family! I found out after writing the book that there's a David Schwertner in the family tree (although not a direct ancestor), so I took a trip to visit his grave since I semi-accidentally named a character after him

12. What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)?

it's often difficult for me to develop relationships between characters, but like, I think it's because I tend to attach to people very quickly? like if you were like "but you just met" I'd be like, idk, we're friends now

so like when writing characters developing relationships, it usually takes a couple drafts before the relationships make sense to people who are not me

I'm sure they still don't make sense to plenty of people, but what can you do lol

15. What is something about your OC can make you laugh?

Peter's, like, a secret sassmaster

well, kind of like secretly a bit of an ass

like, y'know, he's so quiet and gentle and mostly even kind despite the fact that he's all gruff about it and doesn't want to make friends, but then sometimes he says something and it's just like OH. HO. and every time he has a line like that, I laugh about it

and it wasn't even on purpose, he just turned out that way, so I think the surprise of it still amuses me tbh

thanks for your ask!

[fanfictionsweetheart]

World’s Collide

Chapter One

Pairing: Neron “Creeper” Vargas x OC

Summary: Sometimes to stay sober you need to find a way to fill the quiet moments when your demons start to gnaw at your mind once again. That is something Creeper knows far too well. He’s been steadfast but there are some nights when even he still struggles. So he decides to do something new to quiet the voices. He doesn’t know what he expected from this community center class…but finding love definitely wasn’t it.

Trigger/Content Warnings: mentions of addiction and recovery, mentions of a car accident and disability

Word Count: 2456

A/N: my old Fic blog is being hidden and idk how to fix it, so I’m gonna start posting on here more. I hope you enjoy this Fic. Creeper needs more love.

Part of staying sober was finding different outlets for those old habits and cravings. Creeper wasn’t typically the type to show up at a small community center for a class, but it was suggested to him for part of his acclimating to a sober life and on a whim he had signed up for a writing class. He didn’t know why, but it sounded the least oppressive to his commitment to the Mayans. And he also wondered if it would help him cope better to have an outlet.

He had done a lot of bad things in his life. He had fought and killed. He had done drugs and drank heavily for years.

He did his best to stay sober so when he felt that familiar itch to relapse he signed up for a class.

He didn’t expect to get much from this, just something to do every Saturday for a few months.

Walking into the classroom, his Mayans kutte in his car, he scanned the class. He definitely stood out. He was older and had been through hell and it showed on his body. Not to mention the tattoo on his neck declaring his association with Mayans MC.

He sat in the back of the small room, he didn’t want to be noticed by anyone who might know him. He scanned the room again and that was when he first saw her. She was probably ten years younger than him and had a smile on her face as she was talking to who he supposed was the instructor. But even from here she could tell that it was forced. When it fell into an appraising scowl he wondered what that old man had said to offend the young woman.

She grabbed a stack of papers off his desk and took a breath before passing them out to the twenty or so other adults in the class. She saw him and walked over and handed him the packet with a more genuine smile. He truly took her in now. He knew he shouldn’t be checking out a volunteer (as the name tag she wore on her floral blouse declared her), but it was hard when it felt like her very aura called to him.

“Almost didn’t notice you.” She said.

“I did choose to sit out of sight.” He chuckled at the way her cheeks seemed to tinge red when their eyes met, “But you still found me.”

“That I did.” She said, giggling softly.

—

Salacia always got paired with the instructors who hated things like a community outreach class. She knew why, because she cared more than they ever would so it was up to her to keep their adult students who the instructors gave up on motivated. And David Greene was the worst of these instructors. He never said it but she knew he looked down on them for needing to come to a free community center class…and she suspected he had some more racial prejudices that he would never say aloud in a town like Santo Padre.

She wondered why he even lived here let alone taught classes at a community center.

She was passing out the syllabus he had made…that she had secretly edited and translated into Spanish, stapling the translated page to his English one, when she saw the older man in the back of the room. He stood out, yet he kept to himself. She walked over, handing him his small packet and offered him a smile. Seeing the tattoo on his neck, she knew that David would be giving up on him the second he saw him.

She wouldn’t then.

She volunteered to help out a community which had helped her before. She had neighbors who had come to these classes before, the same neighbors who had helped her and her sister when they first moved in. Helping nurse Salacia back go health and giving her rides to physical therapy so her sister could keep working, watching out for her niece as well.

Now Salacia was living in her own home. (After the settlement with the company whose truck nearly killed her when she was sixteen finally cleared) and she was doing her best to give back to the people who had given selflessly to her.

She smiled at the man in the back of the room, her cheeks heating up as his eyes raked over her and he replied to her polite joke with a more flirtatious quip in return. He wasn’t what most would consider conventionally attractive…but his dark aura and deep brown eyes sucked her right in.

She had to keep her composure, she knew. There was no chance he would actually be attracted to her. She was chubbier with an occasionally noticeable limp on her right side. That car accident had nearly crushed her hip on that side. Five pins and she still limped when tired.

Sadly she had to use her stick often, even on good days she had it with her whenever she left the house. It was leaning against the empty table beside the one the (perhaps) oddly attractive man was seated at. She scanned the room and walked over to grab her cane and sit at that table to give her hip a rest.

She felt his eyes on her and sighed, she didn’t look up, she didn’t need to see the pity that she was certain was in his eyes. The look everyone got when they saw the cane and her limp. She hated it. She hated being treated like she was lesser or that she wasn’t attractive...or even worthy of being attractive, because of her leg.

The instructor, David, began to speak. Explaining that the goal of this course was for them to each write a short story to be bound together in a book that will be sold at the community center’s fundraiser. They would also all be given their own copies.

There was one thing that David insisted on though was that people pair up for editing and brainstorming. Usually seat mates. He told everyone that and she could feel the disappointed frustration rolling off of the man in the back of the classroom.

There were an odd number of students. And he was the odd man out.

David noticed and shrugged before saying, “Maybe you could change courses and try again next year.”

Salacia glared at the man in the front of the room, “He just needs an editor like everyone else.” She said standing, leaning on her cane to steady herself, “I’ll do it. He shouldn’t be forced to pick something else just because there’s an odd number of people.”

“You’re a volunteer not a student, Ms. Tianna.” David said with a roll of his eyes.

“Did my name tag give that away? And you’re right I am a volunteer. So I’m volunteering to be his editor.” She said, narrowing her eyes.

“Whatever. Let’s start with going over the schedule.” David said and turned to the presentation he had prepared.

Salacia walked over and sat beside the man who was watching her more intently. Curious about why she stood up for him in that instant. Was it him or did she just hate this instructor as much as he was growing to.

“Hope you don’t mind.” She whispered, “I should have asked.”

“It’s fine.” He said with a chuckle, “I didn’t want to pick something else, took me forever to pick this.”

She smiled at him, “I’m Salacia.” She said.

“Neron.” He said.

His voice was gravely and made her shudder a bit. And his eyes while still dark had a lightness when he looked at her. She seemed to amuse him.

—

The class was now left to their own devices to decide on an idea for their story, jotting down ideas. Creeper was having a hard time figuring out what on earth he could write about. Salacia offered to help.

“I expected some more help from the teacher on how to begin.” He said.

Salacia sighed and shook her head, “You had to get stuck with David Greene. He doesn’t give two shits about helping. That’s why the center put me in this class. Because somebody has to care”

He looked at her as she rolled her eyes, looking over at their supposed instructor who was just scrolling on his phone.

“Well at least someone does.” He grumbled, he hated people like that man.

“Okay, so, what I would suggest since you said you don’t really have any writing experience, pick one of the three basic literary conflicts.” She pulled a new notebook out of her bag and opened it, writing a few things down, “Man versus Man. Two different people having a conflict. The type of conflict doesn’t matter. It could be serious and world threatening or simple. For example it could be as serious as Batman fighting the Joker; or as simple as a brother and sister arguing over the last piece of Halloween candy. This is the most common type of conflict.”

Creeper nodded that made sense. He hadn’t had anyone explain this kind of thing to him before. Or had someone explain anything this well.

“The next is Man versus Nature.” She said, “Which can be a fun one to play around with. It’s a character facing the natural world. For example, think of a man preparing his home and family for a hurricane and then the trials that come with having to weather that at home.”

“Haven’t exactly done that though.” He chuckled,

“How could I describe that?” He was teasing of course.

Salacia laughed, blushing softly, “I’m from Houston, so I’ve been through a few.” She joked, “It could also be getting stranded in the desert or the woods. And dealing with the elements and wild animals.” She finished her explanation.

“What’s this last one Man versus Self about?” He asked.

“It’s one of my favorite tropes.” She said, “It’s about the inner conflict of a character. The antagonist and protagonist are one in the same. Think of someone struggling with mental health issues...or even addiction. The conflict is between the man and himself. It’s a lot about self reflection of the character.”

The man beside her was silent for a moment. He had an idea, but he was worried I would be too dark.

“I...I think I wanna go with that one.” He said, “But I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

“What is it?” She asked and slid the notebook over to him, “Jot it down before you forget.”

“This is yours though.” He said.

“Take it, I don’t mind. I’ve got others.” She said, “I haven’t even used it yet.”

He started to deny it but gave up seeing the sweet determination in her eyes. He jotted down what he was thinking. And showed it to her. How someone could fall into drug abuse and then the daily struggles of staying clean even after a few years.

“Is that too dark?” He asked, “I don’t know if anyone here wants to read that.”

“Are you worried about it being too dark or being too personal?” She asked stunning him at how easily she was able to read him.

“Personal.” He said after a moment, unsure why he felt he could be so honest with her.

She smiled, “I took this class when I was nineteen, my story was about the mental health struggles of having to learn to walk again...of having to use a cane...and dealing with the nightmares and fears of even riding in a car. Let alone on a freeway.” She admitted and motioned to her arm and the pale scars which were easily visible in the harsh fluorescent lighting, “I was run off the road by some psycho in his work truck...I was sixteen.”

He looked at them, sucking in a harsh breath. That was a crazy amount of shit to deal with at that age.

“If you’re unsure of that idea, you can always have a less taxing idea just in case. You know a backup idea.” She said, “Don’t force yourself to share something you don’t want to, just to try and be an artiste.” She winked.

“Yeah.” He agreed and smiled at her.

She seemed to understand him far better than some twenty something should. She wanted him to feel comfortable talking to her. And the strange thing was, he did.

—

The class ended and he had a few ideas that he would be considering until the class got together again. He and Salacia exchanged numbers after walking out together. Him taking his time as she needed her cane to walk. They chatted casually. It was kind of funny how easily they got along.

It was obvious he wasn’t a ‘good guy’. He held himself like the outlaw he was. Dressed simply, and if you looked close enough to recognize the signs he was armed.

While she was in a floral blouse over a pink skirt. With a cane she had covered in stickers and had a glittery, little poof ball hanging off the handle. She was sweet and kind, and did her best to keep a smile on her face.

And yet they were able to hold a conversation. Laughing and simply enjoying each other’s company.

When they parted ways she headed for the bus stop, to catch the last bus of the night. He offered to give her a ride and pointing to his car.

“It’s fine. I don’t mind the bus.” She assured him.

They both knew it was partially the truth but also partially because they had just met. He nodded, accepting her refusal. It felt only right to offer.

“By the way, most people just call me Creeper rather than my first name.” He said, figuring her knowing his nickname might make things easier, less intimate in their conversations.

“What do you want me to call you?” She asked, once again easily able to read him.

It was crazy how she was able to do that. Creeper thought about it for a moment. What did he want her to call him? It had been amazing hearing her saying his real name all night. The way his name sounded falling from her pale pink lips as she smiled around it.

“Call me by my actual name.” He said softly.

“Alright. Goodnight Neron. See you next week. Feel free to call or text if you need help...or just wanna talk.” She smiled and turned slowly walking away.

“Goodnight Salacia.” He murmured at her back.

They were from two different worlds. It was crazy to think things could work as they collided. But he wanted to take the shot.

[jerzwriter]

The Big ONE

Happy Birthday to little Samantha, who turned one on April 20th!

I asked @/artbyainna (IG) to help create artwork to commemorate the special occasion, and I'm simply squealing at the results! While Tobias and Casey are captivated with their little angel, Pietro is all too happy to jump in and get a bit of that cake he's been eyeing all afternoon! I'm just blown away by this!

I wrote a fic highlighting a few moments during Sammy's big day below. I hope you enjoy the sugary sweetness as much as I do!

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Tobias Carrick x Casey Carrick (F!MC) Characters: Vivian Carrick (F!OC), Jordan Carrick (M!OC), Rose and David MacTavish (OCs), the OH gang, and of course, Pietro - the original cat. Rating: Teen Words: 1,700 A/N: @choicesaprilchallenge24 / Kitchen Table

Standing at her kitchen sink didn't typically usher in so much joy, but then, today wasn't any ordinary day. Casey's heart was full as she peered out the kitchen window into her backyard. It was tiny by suburban standards, but in Boston, it may as well have been an acre. The storms that had been forecasted earlier in the week held off, and the bright sun and azure blue skies provided the perfect canopy for their guests who came to celebrate.

The telltale rattle of the backdoor handle interrupted the silence, and Casey turned to find her husband coming inside. He looked so gorgeous in the fitted pink shirt he bought just for this occasion that she didn't initially catch his expression. Was it bewilderment? Vexation? She couldn't quite make it out.

He reached into the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of Sam Adams. Popping the cap off, he leaned against the counter and shook his head.

"I can't believe there's a freaking petting zoo in my yard."

Casey chuckled as she closed the distance between them, her head coming to rest on his shoulder as her arms encircled his waist.

"It’s not like you weren’t warned... albeit inadvertently.”

“Still...” he sighed.

“You know, from what I’ve heard, this place was a perpetual petting zoo in the past. Of course, it wasn’t the G-rated type, but even so... this shouldn't be so foreign to you.”

She closed her eyes and pressed closer against him, relishing the way his chest reverberated against her as he laughed.

“While the stories of my past can be a bit on the wild side, they tend to be overexaggerated, my dear.”  

Casey squeezed him tighter. “I can’t believe our baby girl is a year old already.”

“I know,” Tobias replied with amazement. “It all went by in a flash.”

“It did,” Casey agreed. “Although, some of the nights felt like they lasted an eternity. Especially in the beginning. God, sometimes I didn’t think I’d survive.”

“You?” Tobias marveled. “No way! You had the whole motherhood thing down pat from the start. You're a natural, babe.”

“A natural?” She laughed. “Are you kidding me? From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I was a hyperventilating mess!" Her hands rubbed along the silky fabric covering his chest, and her voice filled with emotion. “If not for your bright outlook and constant support, I wouldn’t have been able to do it. You’re my rock, T.”

The tender moment was interrupted when the door handle rattled again, and several of their friends stepped inside.

“Jesus!” Jackie groaned. “Do you two ever stop with that lovey-dovey shit?”

“Aw! Leave them alone!” Sienna smiled. “I think they’re adorable.”

“I might be more accepting of that adorable title if it was any random day,” Bryce interjected. “But what the hell are you doing inside with this kissy face crap when you have a freaking petting zoo and bouncy house in your yard?”

“Yeah,” Tobias chuckled. “Ma didn’t read the memo when we said we wanted a simple party with our friends."

“She also didn’t get that none of our friends have children, and Sammy’s too young for friends of her own... I don’t know that we needed all this.”

“Are you kidding?” Bryce gasped in horror. Vivian is a goddess! I’ve been in the bouncy house for the past hour, and that little wallaby out there is now my best friend. You two really need to come out.”

“Oh, I will so be in the bouncy house before this day is over!” Casey enthused.

“And I’ll be there to gleefully record every second,” Tobias winked. “But we’re going to set up to have the cake in here now.”

A peal of laughter wafted in through the open window, and everyone looked outside to see Sammy flying through the air—her face aglow as she giggled with abandon.

“Give her back to me!” Tobias’s brother, Jordan, insisted as Ethan swung the little one around again.

“Sorry,” Ethan responded. “She’s made her position clear. I’m her favorite uncle. You’ll just have to acclimate to being number two, Jordan.”

“Number two,” Bryce blurted as he was about to stick his hand into the nacho dip. “He’s not number two! And Ethan’s not number one! Sorry guys, I have to get out there and reclaim my ground!”

Jackie heaved out a sigh. “I suppose I should go supervise the children.”

“And I’ll make sure she doesn’t hurt anyone,” Sienna said, quick on her friend's heels.

Tobias slid behind Casey, wrapping his strong arms around her as they watched the joyful scene unfolding outside.

“Oh, no! Our parents are getting in on this now,” Casey observed as Tobias kissed her shoulder. “We better go retrieve Sammy before she's more spoiled than she is already."

"Nah," Tobias declined. "She's in very good hands, and I want just one more moment alone with my beautiful wife."

Casey turned around in Tobias's arms and gently kissed him, but he turned that little kiss into one with decidedly more passion.

"Keep that up, and we'll end up with baby number two," she giggled.

"Damn, she's on to my plan," he winked.

~~~~

A short time later, the circus had moved inside as the guests crowded into the family's living room to open gifts.

“I was told we were coming inside for cake,” Bryce pouted. 

Vivian, seated next to him, promptly slapped his knee.

“OW!”

“It’s presents before cake, Lahela. Everyone knows that.”

“I don’t think Sammy would mind either way,” he replied but acquiesced when he saw how happy the little girl was ripping into the gift wrap on her presents.

“Look!” Sienna said, tapping Casey’s Mom, Rose, on the shoulder. “She loves the stuffed pony you got her!”

“She does,” Rose beamed. “Although Grandma Vivian supplied the real pony in the yard!”

“Yeah,” Casey’s father, David, laughed. “We’ll have to up our game next year, hon. Vivian here is stealing our thunder.”

“NO!” Tobias and Casey yelled in unison.

“Don’t worry,” Tobias insisted. “My mother is going to be banished from next year’s celebration! We can have some normalcy.”

“Like hell I will be!” she spat as Jordan roared with laughter.

“Please, you have a better chance of Derek Jeter being elected mayor of Boston than you do of Ma missing any of Sammy’s birthdays.”

“That’s right! This fool made me wait almost four decades to be a grandma, I'm not missing any of it now!"

Tobias wrapped his arm around his mother’s shoulders and squeezed her close. “I know you wouldn’t, Ma. And we wouldn't want you to, but... can we celebrate without so many animals next year?”

“I don’t know,” Vivian smirked. “I think it would be wrong not to include your friends.”

~~~~~

A pile of opened gifts sat stacked neatly in the corner as little Pietro played happily with the bits of colorful gift wrap that remained taped to the boxes. But the cat wasn’t the only one excited; after all, it was finally time for CAKE!

“Casey, you look great!” Jordan stated. “But, Tobias, I need you to move a bit to the right.”

“For God's sake,” Tobias groused. “Can you just take the picture already?"

“Can we start singing?” Vivian asked. "I want to sing to my grandbaby."

“As soon as I get this picture,” Jordan replied. “All right! Casey, Tobias... perfect! Now, everyone, help me get Sammy to look this way.”

Everyone gathered behind Jordan, making faces, clapping their hands, and doing all they could to get the precious little girl to look their way. But Sammy only had eyes for one thing... the fluffy pink birthday cake that was just outside of her reach. That is until her feline best friend hopped on the table, stealing her attention and leaving her squealing with delight.

Casey lifted him, placing him gently back on the floor. “Not on the table, Pietro.”

“Yeah!” Jackie replied smugly. “No cake for you.”

The cat hissed at his nemesis as the clamoring to get Sammy to look at the camera continued.

“Oh, for the love of God,” Tobias bewailed. “Can you just take the picture!”

“I sure can,” Jordan nodded. “On the count of three! One... two... three!”

But just as her uncle snapped the photo, Sammy lurched forward and grabbed a fistful of the cotton candy colored icing, and when Tobias attempted to intervene, he ended up with a tiny fistful of sticky, sugary goodness splattered onto his face. A family photo that would be celebrated for generations to come was born.

Beaming, Tobias lifted Sammy off Casey’s lap as her chubby little hands mashed the icing deeper into her father’s beard.

Laughing, Casey pulled her phone out of her pocket to snap some shots of her own. “Our little girl has you wrapped around her finger, T!”

Tobias reached over and pulled Casey close; the sticky icing became a family affair when he kissed her cheek. “She sure does. Just like her, Momma!”

Amidst all the chaos, Pietro saw an opportunity, and he took it! Leaping onto the table, he stuck his paws into the cake and delighted in his sugary bonanza until Casey spotted him out of the corner of her eye.

“Pietro! No!” she hollered as Jackie, the only one who had seen the cat on the table, broke out laughing.

“You saw him and didn’t rat him out?” Casey teased. "What's happened to you?"

Jackie merely shrugged. “You have to admire him. He wanted something, saw an opening, and took it. I’m not about to turn him in for that.”

"Are you and that cat... bonding?" Casey asked.

"I guess Sammy's birthday is capable of miracles."

~~~~~ 

Hours later, after the final guest had gone home, Casey and Tobias snuggled together on the couch. Sammy slept in her playpen just feet away while Pierto kept a protective watch over her. Despite being exhausted, the proud parents couldn’t wipe the grins off their faces.

“This was such a great day,” Casey smiled. “I knew it would be, but it exceeded all expectations.”

“It was a really great day,” Tobias agreed. “And I think Ma only violated three town ordinances by insisting a wallaby was included in the petting zoo."

“She didn’t break any ordinances,” Casey laughed, her eyes suddenly going wide. “At least, not any that we know of.”

“Well, if she did, we successfully evaded charges, and that's all I can ask for."

“Mmmm,” Casey hummed, snuggling closer to him. “So, do you still want to add another Carrick to all this craziness?”

Tobias sat up, his interest piqued. “Damn straight, I do. Honestly, I want our girls to be close together. Jordan and I had a big age difference, and I’d like Sammy to grow up with her sister, you know?”

“Tobias,” Casey chuckled. “You know we have no way of knowing if we'd have another girl!”

His eyes lit up, and that little dimple Casey found so irresistible took center stage. “Oh, yes, I do. Now the big question... are you ready to have bambina number two?”

Casey sunk back into the fluffy couch cushions with a smile. “Soon? Maybe we can start trying around the end of summer. You know, it might not happen right away, but if we start then, maybe Sammy can have a little sister... or brother... by the end of next year. What do you say?"

“First, sister,” Tobias grinned. “And it will happen right away. Look at how fast it happened with Sammy.”

“Babe, we weren’t planning on Sammy.”

“Exactly,” Tobias grinned, holding Casey close. "I work that damn well when we weren't even trying... you just wait until we are."

Sammy made a funny little noise, and when Mom and Dad realized she was just having a happy dream, they returned to holding each other close.

"Well, I feel a lot better right now than I did a year ago at this time," Casey stated. "I mean, a day of family and friends is a cakewalk next to labor and delivery."

"Yet, you're willing to do it again," Tobias chuckled.

"Yeah, I think I'll make it through," she smiled. "I love our little family, T."

"So do I," he said with a kiss on her forehead. "And I love you."

~~~~~

That's some serious sweetness here, my friends! I hope you enjoyed it... Pietro sure did!

@choicesficwriterscreations @choicesaprilchallenge24 @openheartfanfics

Tagging others separately.

[fictoweirdoesten]

Of course it didn't work out, nothing ever works out for me.

Caleb, oh how I wish you were real.

If you were real, would you love me just the same as you do MC?

I'm not as pretty as she is, and I'm a total mess physically and mentally, but I hope you'll accept me and be just as obsessed with me as you are with MC.

I'm just so lonely, so tired of feeling like I'll die alone, the feeling of having my parents around me yet still feeling alone...like it's exhausting.

I want to feel loved. I want to be wanted.

If I die, will I meet you, Caleb?

I'd die in a heartbeat if I was promised to see you ♡

I love you, Caleb.

[DATE UNKNOWN]

---

I want to watch the world burn with you,

Caleb.

Please save me from this hell. I want to explore the cosmos with you. I want to be in your arms as we race towards the supernova, witnessing it become a black hole before being sucked inside.

I don't belong here, Caleb.

I belong with you ♡

I'll know I've found peace when I draw my last breath. When I look up and see you reaching out to me, your metallic wings extending out into the heavens...

I can't do this alone, Caleb.

I hate being alone.

Where are you?

"The world being destroyed, isn't as scary as being separated from you."

03/24/25

---

As The World Falls Down

cw: suicidal thoughts/ideation. implied death. asteroids and the end of the world. just overall depressing and full of angst with a tiny bit of fluff. gn! reader. reader is self indulgent. reader is indifferent about humanity's end. caleb might be ooc.

a/n: this is basically me trauma-dumping in a creative sci-fi way. I tried to do as much research as I could to not sound stupid, but I apologize if I got something wrong anyway. Reminder that I am not an astrophysicist, just a stupid writer who finds this stuff cool to learn and write about.

I recommend listening to "As The World Falls Down" by David Bowie (highly recommend the slowed and reverb version more) before or as you're reading this. This whole fic is inspired by that song as well as Exit Music (For A Film) by Radiohead.

Thanks for reading ♡

---

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP-

You groan, tossing and turning in your sleep before finally waking up.

You recognize the sound immediately, letting out a sigh as you reach over to grab your phone.

"An amber alert? People suck."

You planned on turning the alarm off and going back to bed, but your fingers pause as you're about to swipe on the screen to unlock your phone.

Your heart begins to pound on your chest as you read the alert message.

"NASA'S PLANETARY DEFENSE COORDINATION OFFICE HAS DETECTED AN ASTEROID THAT COULD POTENTIALLY IMPACT OUR PLANET. THE APPROXIMATE TIME BEFORE IMPACT IS AN HOUR. THE APPROXIMATE IMPACT LOCATION IS-"

You completely black out, and your first instict is to rush outside your balcony to see if you can see it barreling straight towards your location.

But you can't. Not to mention, it's completely dark outside.

You feel a panic attack coming on. You move your hand to your shirt, clenching it tightly as you start to hyperventilate.

Your eyes are glued to the night sky, and the first thing that comes to mind besides the meteor is...

...Caleb.

Your heart sinks to your stomach at the thought of never seeing him again. The way he'd greet you at Destiny Cafe when you log into the game. How he'd lean closer to your screen with a smile, teasing or comforting you.

Caleb wasn't real, but he was all you had left.

And now, that's being taken away from you, too.

Few stars light up the night sky due to air pollution, but you realize that you never truly appreciated how beautiful the sky can be regardless. You wonder if that red dot on the right is Mars. You wonder why the Moon seems larger than usual today.

You wonder how long you truly have left to appreciate such a sight one last time.

Tears roll down your cheeks, and yet you start to feel...at peace, bordering on a state of nirvana.

Your breathing starts to slow down, and you start to feel drowsy instead of anxious. You lean on the railing, your arms resting on the rail as you continue to stare up at the sky, as if awaiting for what comes towards you, accepting your fate.

It's so quiet in your neighborhood for such a life-threatning event, so eerily quiet, it's beautiful. Everything is beautiful right now in this moment.

"You calmed down rather quickly."

A familiar robotic voice interrupts your thoughts, bringing you back to reality.

You slowly turn around, your eyes widening at the man in front of you.

It's...he's...

"Everyone else is freaking out right now in the city," Caleb inches closer to you, his mecha suit clanking as he walks. "I know you don't care to join the 'watch party' though. Some humans choose violence when in the face of danger, of the unknown."

Caleb looks down at you, a gentle smile on his face that washes away any last regrets you've had before the impact.

"You're safer with me."

"Caleb..." You reach out, your hand hesitantly carressing his face. It's cold, so very cold, yet he's still the man you love, that much is certain.

"The asteroid will actually impact Earth in approximately 14 hours, not an hour. You can't see the asteroid until it breaks into Earth's atmosphere, which will happen a few minutes, or maybe even seconds, before impact."

You blink at Caleb's sudden explanation, but you understood everything he told you. You glance back up at the night sky once more, letting out a hum.

"And the sky will turn white, right?"

"Mhm. And it will be beautiful."

You smile and nod, imagining the shape and size of the asteroid coming straight for you.

You've no idea why or how Caleb is besides you at this moment, if he is just an illusion formed by paranoia and anxiety, and honestly, you don't care to know either. You're dying besides the man you love, watching the world end before finally being at peace. You couldn't ask for anything more than this. This is all you ever wanted, after all, and now it's finally happening.

"Pipsqueak," he whispers, leaning closer to you. His violet eyes search your wandering gaze, wondering where you've gone. You slowly escape your thoughts once more, turning to look at him.

"Unfortunately, I don't plan to get rid of you just yet," he jests, letting out a small chuckle. "There's still so much I want to show you."

You tilt your head to the side as you raise a brow. He lets out a soft laugh at your reaction, extending his arm out to you with a welcoming smile.

A smile you've never seen before.

"C'mon, I'll show you what I mean."

You go straight for his hand without any doubt or hesitation, holding it tightly. He pulls you forward to him, and you glance up, his violet eyes looking down at you with yearning you never seen before, it almost took your breath away.

Until you looked further up and noticed metallic angels wings extending into the air, a purple, luminescent-rainbow glow emanating from underneath them.

Now that was what took your breath away.

He brings you to his chest as he holds you tightly into his arms, before flying out into the night sky with you.

It's a quiet ride. The night breeze feels good against your skin as it gently sways your hair away from your face. You glance up at Caleb, watching the content smile on his face.

The two of you soar through Earth's atmosphere, flying towards space. As you cross the Earth's Mesosphere, Caleb grabs your attention once more, his index finger pointing at a dot a bit further away from the both of you, closer to the Moon, but nowhere actually near it.

"There she is."

The 'dot' sends a shiver down your spine. Even from this distance, it's intimidating, and rightfully so.

"C-Caleb, just how big is that thing-"

"Hm? 96 km, approximately anyway. Quite catastrophic, I should say."

You don't feel anything when the word 'catastrophic' grazes your ears, or rather, any level of sympathy for those below your feet.

But not entirely apathy either.

"How come no one spotted an asteroid of that size coming towards us a few years ago?"

He pauses, and when you glance up at him, his expression becomes stern.

"...It was hiding behind the sun."

And he says nothing else, so you don't, either.

The two of you leave Earth's atmosphere and into space, and just a few minutes the two of you land on the Moon.

"I can't believe this..." you mutter, amazed at how fast the two of you were going despite feeling like you were floating the whole time.

Caleb gently lets go of you on the Moon's powdery surface. The first thing you notice when looking around is how black everything is besides the dot traveling towards Earth, and Earth itself. The black scenery contrasts with the gray, almost white surface of the Moon, creating a stunning work of art an artist would dream of making.

The two of you look down at the planet you just left, a bleak gaze in your eyes as your glance over at the dot once more, before moving your attention over to Caleb.

"How am I still alive?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean, shouldn't I be dead by now? How am I breathing?"

Caleb grows silent for awhile, his eyes fixated on Earth in front of the two of you.

"Am I dead already, Caleb?"

"..."

"...Caleb-"

"-You were dead inside until I came for you anyway. If anything, you're alive now, right?"

His teeth clenches as his fists tighten at his side.

"As long as you feel alive now...that's all that matters."

You get it now.

You don't push him further, instead deciding to lay your head on his shoulder, the metal from his suit not bothering you in the slightest.

"Wait, don't doze off yet. We haven't seen the end of the world together," he whispers, his hand moving to your hair and ruffling it gently.

"And after that?"

"We go to another galaxy, experience a supernova."

"And then witness it become a black hole, right?"

"Mhm. It only takes a split second for a supernova to become a black hole, but several hours before we notice."

"...And then after that?"

You look up at Caleb as he glances down at you, hesitance in his expression. You smile, gently resting your hand on his arm to reassure him.

"And then we get sucked inside, yes?"

"...Yeah, we do."

"I'm happy," you mutter, fingers rubbing against his suit. "Thank you, Caleb."

He nods, uncertainty still on his face. His cold hand grabs yours, tightening his hold as he leans in.

"Just...whatever happens to us when that time comes...always remember,"

His hand moves to your chin, gently facing you to look directly at him, your lips only inches apart from each other.

"In life...and in death...we will never be apart."

---

a/n: you can interpret whether or not reader is dead. I don't have a straight answer for that either. I write whatever comes to mind even if it makes no damn sense at all ;)

Also yes, those diary entries at the start are written by me in my own personal diary. I wanted to make this as personal for me as I could, so I added them.

[sharpfamily]

Aesop On the Job

How will a former Auror and former professor Aesop Sharp fare, when faced with the responsibilty to take care of the house and his four chidren for the day after his wife is called away?

Pretty much just 5.5k words of family fluff and Aesop Sharp being a great dad. You can get more acquainted with the kids in their brief summary. Brought to you by @tea-withjamandbread and @aesopsharpmybeloved ❤

word count: 5.5k

tw: tooth-rotting fluff

Aesop didn't mind taking care of everything for the day. Of course he did not, his wife more than deserved this little day off. After all, she was handling the house and the children, and oftentimes assisted him in the shop as well. A renowned magizoologist reached out to her via Owl post, after Ellie Peck recommended her as the person to go to when it comes to graphorns. MC would be helping secure a little sanctuary for the beasts, so that they stayed away from muggles, and muggles stayed well away from them.

The younger woman was unsure whether she should leave Aesop and their children by themselves, but Aesop knew that she wanted to go, he saw it in her eyes. She always had an affinity for these beasts, for some reason Aesop did not understand. So, after some convincing and reassuring her that, while he could never compare to her level of efficiency, he was more than capable of handling the home responsibilities on his own for the day.

The shop stayed closed that morning, and the few orders he had he sent out the previous day using the post office owls.

Aesop kissed his wife goodbye as she slipped out before the children awoke. He of course gave her plenty of Wiggenweld, Skele-Gro, and some other healing concoctions, despite her protests she would be absolutely fine. Aesop wouldn’t take no for an answer, however, unable to keep himself from worrying. ‘Better to have them and not need them, than to need them and not have them’ he insisted to her, and she finally accepted. With one last wave, and a loud pop, she disapparated from their front garden. Aesop spent a minute or two looking at the spot she stood at a while ago, taking in the cool spring air. It had rained the previous day, and the scent of damp earth filled his nostrils, making him relax slightly. As always, it felt like time stood still in the small village of Willow Creek. Droplets of water were glistening upon the evergreen grass and leaves, the light wind made the trees around sing a soft song, and nobody seemed to be up and about yet. One of the neighbourhood cats walked around slowly, looking at him curiously for a moment, before deeming him entirely uninteresting and continuing its route.

It was quite earlier than Aesop usually got up, even when he did wake up to go to work. He considered catching a couple more minutes, maybe even an hour, of sleep, but ultimately decided to begin going about his day. He wanted to make his wife proud, after all.

The former professor made his way into the kitchen to begin preparing breakfast for himself and the children. He got himself a cup of tea first, his eyes skimming over the crisp pages of the Daily Prophet one of the newspapers’ owls brought in soon after he returned inside. He rolled his eyes several times at yet another attempt of David Spavin, son of the former minister Farris, to prove he was a better choice for the office than Venusia Crickerly, simply because his father was the longest working minister. Unbelievable. Venusia was a former Auror, and Aesop worked with her on multiple occasions. She was driven, hard-working, and completely dedicated to her job, while David Farris was the subject of several scandals throughout the years. Best keep that one as far away from the minister chair as possible, Aesop mused.

In a matter of a few minutes later, a pan was sitting upon the stove, and a couple of sunny side up eggs and slices of ham were sizzling away, filling the cosy kitchen with a mouth-watering smell. With a wave of Aesop’s wand, fresh vegetables floated off to the sink and washed themselves, before neatly arranging themselves upon a cutting board, just in time for a large knife to begin slicing them. Popps the Kneazle, lured in by the irresistible scent, began rubbing against his legs, and Aesop took mercy on the family pet and fed her two slices of the ham, before waving his wand to replenish the beast feed in her bowl in the hallway. Popps seemed quite happy with this kind of deal, and with a few more loops around his legs, she disappeared from the kitchen, presumably going to eat some more food, before going to curl up close to one of the fireplaces.

"Dad?" Came from the door, making Aesop turn. His oldest daughter was standing there in her long nightshirt and dressing gown, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes slowly. Aesop couldn’t hold back his smile. His daughter’s hair was sticking out in all directions, there was a bit of drool dried upon her cheek, and her dressing gown was inside out - something the eleven year old failed to notice. "Good morning, love. Have you slept well?" he asked softly, waiting for the girl to reach him, before kneeling momentarily to press a kiss upon her pink cheek and stroke her messy hair.

"I have, thank you," the girl replied. 

Aesop couldn't believe his little girl would be starting Hogwarts in just a few months. It felt like it was only yesterday he first held her in his arms, like no longer than 24 hours had passed since he first saw his wife nurse their beautiful newborn. He didn’t admit so to anyone, but he had no idea how he was going to fare with Magdala leaving to spend 70% of the following seven years at Hogwarts. He might have to take on more orders from the Hospital wing, just so he can catch a glimpse of his daughter outside summer and Christmas.

"Where's mum?" She asked curiously, oblivious to her father’s tiny emotional whirlwind. Aesop gave a chuckle, glad for the distraction: "Is it really so rare for me to be the one making breakfast? Quite the cad I am, I really ought to try to be better." "You cook dinner quite often. And help mum a lot," she said, shrugging her shoulders shortly before jumping up to sit on the counter, her small bare feet swinging slightly. "Watch for the knife, my sweet," Aesop warned, even though the knife was nowhere near the child.  

He pressed a slice of apple into her hand, and his daughter immediately took a bite of the juicy fruit. "Your mum went to help set up a Graphorn sanctuary," Aesop said, carefully flipping the ham and eggs over one by one.Not a second after he said it did Magdala's big brown eyes light up, and her mouth parted, revealing a small piece of the apple inside. 

Aesop’s automatic ‘Close your mouth and swallow your food’ was almost too quiet for even him to hear, but it seemed Magdala did, and she did as he asked, swallowing her bite before speaking:

"What?! Why didn't you tell me?" She squealed, wildly swinging her legs, looking like she was ready to immediately go and teach herself Apparition, just so she could join her mother on the adventure. Aesop knew that if she could, she most definitely would. Wouldn’t even change out of her sleeping clothes... "Because if we did, you wouldn't let her leave without you,” he said kindly, not wanting to upset his daughter, “While I trust your skill to handle beasts completely, I think a Graphorn, not to mention a full herd of them, may still be a little out of your size category, dear. But don't worry, mum took a camera. She'll bring you pictures." 

Maggie’s eyes dropped for a little bit, but it seemed she accepted Aesop's explanation, as a few seconds later, the mischievous spark returned into them: "I should hope so!” she grinned. “Can I help you with anything?"

"As a matter of fact, you can! Open your mouth, I need to know if I didn't put too much salt on them.” Aesop plopped a small piece of one of the eggs into her mouth, and murmured happily when she gestured at him that the eggs were alright. Content, he and Maggie plated the breakfast, making sure the meal was well balanced.

"So. What are we going to do today?" Magdala asked as she dutifully arranged vegetables on her siblings’ plates, making sure everyone had enough. Aesop meanwhile spelled the pan and utensils away into the sink to wash, and had the kettle fill up to make more tea. The one children drank was considerably weaker.  "What do you usually do on a day like this?" he asked. Maggie thought for a while. "Well, mum teaches us until noon. I'll show you where each of us is right now. We should be doing Maths today, and Theo and (FN) practise their writing and reading too."

"Then we do that,” Aesop agreed softly, “School things first, then I'll fix you with some lunch, and maybe we could all take a nice walk outside after that, get some fresh air." Maggie quickly spoke: "The twins need to take a nap after lunch, though. They get grumpy if they don't. That is, (FN) just starts to tear up easily, and Theo starts plotting mischief."

"I can see that it's vital I've got you here, partner. I'd be utterly lost without you,” Aesop grinned at his daughter and ruffled her hair again.

Aesop with Maggie's help made gentle work of waking the rest of the Sharp children. He stood in silent vigil as the bathroom filled with the sound of brushing teeth. Theodore would make frothy-mouthed faces at his father and siblings, and his twin sister seemed greatly amused by them. They got dressed on their own, and all their father needed to do was to fix a wrongly done button, every now and then when it came to the youngest members of the family. After breakfast (during which Theo only fussed about his vegetables a little bit), Aesop decided to give his children an hour of free time, so that they could prepare for their schooling. 

Magdala was ever so helpful in showing him what each of them did, and Aesop often checked with the books his wife left out for him. He had to admit, it was very lovely to be able to witness his children's little successes, and see the joy and pride in their eyes when he graded their assignments. Eleazar's fractions, while correct in solution, were slightly more complicated than necessary, but with Aesop's aid, they were able to find a way for the young lad to make the process a bit neater and easier. 

The twins were still getting used to handling writing with a quill, but Aesop was pleased their hands were only slightly ink-stained once they were done. (FN)'s script was neater and the young girl took her time making sure her letters turned out legible (though Aesop had to remind her to put her tongue back into her mouth), while Theodore had more of a scrawl every time he got distracted, but it wasn't anything too drastic in their father's opinion. 

"Shall I help you with lunch?" Maggie asked after they wrapped up for the day. "Thank you for the offer, my sweet. Don't you want to go outside and play with your siblings?" Aesop asked gently, after setting Theo down from the sink, his small hands once more clean. Maggie's cheeks flushed slightly and she looked at him from under her eyelashes. Aesop’s heart sang. He knew all of his children loved him immensely, like he loved them, but Maggie was a very obvious example of a ‘daddy’s girl’. He found he didn’t mind at all.

"You can help me peel the potatoes if you'd like,” he agreed finally, smiling when the girl’s eyes lit up. “Eleazar,” he called towards the middle child, who was currently neatly stacking his textbooks into the proper shelf. Aesop knew his son loved to have his things nicely organised, even his quills were sorted by size. “Will you keep an eye on your brother and sister?"

"Of course, dad."

And so Maggie once more found her spot on top of the kitchen counter, her little hands carefully peeling the potatoes using a small knife. Her mother and him took the time to teach their children how to handle sharp objects properly, as it was best that they knew how to keep themselves safe before being handed a dagger in their first potions lesson at Hogwarts and told to cut a mandrake up. Aesop kept an eye on his other children outside, the onion in his pot getting aromatic and making his belly rumble. It seemed all was fine, Eleazar entertained his siblings by what looked like some sort of modified game of land-Quidditch. Maggie seemed content to just be with her father, and Aesop wasn't able to stop himself from caressing her shoulder or hair whenever he walked around her. When his hands were clean, that is.

After their lunch of pork and mashed potatoes, Aesop brought his two youngest to their beds. Theodore visibly tried to stay awake, but the hearty meal made his eyes close on their own even before her sister fell asleep. And speaking of (FN), she insisted on holding her father's hand as slumber claimed her. 

With a final look, Aesop closed the door of their room and descended the stairs into the living room. His older children seemed intent on also resting after their food - Eleazar was curled up on the sofa with a potions magazine Aesop subscribed to, seeming very invested in whatever he was reading, while Maggie sat by the ever burning fire in the fireplace, drawing into the sketchbook Aesop got her after she showed her interest in drawing.

It warmed his heart to know his children took up something he too held dear. Maggie's drawings were getting better and better every day, and Aesop had no doubt there would come a day when she'll have reached his own level, or even surpassed it entirely. "What's it going to be?" He asked softly, not wanting to break her focus. "A mooncalf," she replied, showing her father. It indeed began to resemble the large-eyed creature. Aesop gave an admiring whistle. "I can't wait to see it when it's done. Listen, I'll be going downstairs to check up on some brews, and attend to a few orders that came by the mail today. Will you two be alright here?"

A pair of softly said 'Yes, dad's echoed through the space, and Aesop smiled. Before he left, he pressed a kiss into both children's hair. The house was well warded, and so he wasn't worried about missing any of his children leaving the property, or, Merlin forbid, anyone unexpectedly coming in. Besides, he trusted them. The twins were still quite small, and Theodore could be a handful if he wanted, but Aesop knew he was a good lad. A little wild occasionally, but he never misbehaved too terribly, and has always been clever and kind. It was actually (FN) who worried the potions master a little more. She was a shy one, and rather quiet. Nevertheless, her love for her family shone through her words and actions each day. And Theo doted on her and protected her fiercely. 

A memory made Aesop smile as he checked and adjusted the heat underneath his cauldrons. (FN), a few years younger than now, was feeling a bit under the weather after they returned from Hogsmsade one day, a combination of tiredness, hunger and general stress from being around so many strangers, and was still crying softly even after they got home. Theo ran into the garden and returned moments later, holding a single honking daffodil (pinched from Mrs Pruitt's garden no doubt). 

He presented his sister with the flower, and kissed her damp cheek. It was enough for her to stop crying, looking at her twin brother with big eyes. And then, in a moment forever written into Aesop's memory, the flower honked quietly, and his youngest child actually let out a small chuckle.

(FN) would be fine, Aesop decided finally. She not only had her parents, but also her extremely loyal and loving siblings to make sure of that. 

An hour or so later, Aesop ladled one of the finished potions into small bottles, making sure to stopper them tightly and place the proper labels upon them. 

It was surreal, knowing that at this time ten years ago, he’d be standing in front of a dozen or so of students, explaining what the use of Fatigue infusion was, and warning that anyone falling asleep in his class, be it from boredom or potion fume inhalation, will automatically receive a T. He did sometimes miss seeing some of his colleagues every day, not to mention some of the mischief the students caused was undeniably funny, but every single day he was thankful to have been able to resign his post, and leave behind a competent teacher, in favour of being able to see his family only a short while after he closed the shop at half past four in the afternoon, as opposed as having to spend extra time at the school hosting detentions or grading essays. Not to mention it felt great to be his own boss - therefore having a boss who was not an utter imbecile like Headmaster dear.

After making sure everything was well put away and taken care of in his little workshop, he washed his hands one last time and exited the cellar in order to check up on the children. The twins were still sound asleep, Theodore’s small snores reverberating off the walls. The former professor grinned at the sleeping children before quietly retreating to find the older ones. Another hour ticked by quietly and Aesop found himself discussing the potions in his magazine with Eleazar, while Magdala carried on drawing. The young lad was greatly amused by some of the interesting names inventors gave their original brews. 

When (FN) joined them in the living room, Aesop decided it was time for them to go outside for a bit. He made sure his children were well dressed, insisted on all of them wearing a hat (though Maggie complained about having her hair all matted later), and together they set off on a little walk around the village. He held (FN)'s hand, while Theodore ran laps around them, very curious to see everything, despite walking down this trail nearly every other day. Every once in a while, he'd appear holding a twig and playing with it as it was a wand, or, occasionally, a sword. He lost interest in it every time a nicer one appeared. El was being helpful and asked his father every time they came upon some flower or herb whether he should pick them up, and Maggie indulged her little brother every now and then, playing pretend duels with her and Theo's 'wands' and 'swords'. The weather was quite nice, and Aesop thirstily took in gulps of the fresh air. 

After they arrived back home, El decided to play a game of cards with Theo, while Aesop helped fix his girls' hair, and braided it for them too. He'd usually come home around this time. While the kids seemed content to entertain themselves and each other, Aesop did some chores around the house.

He cleaned Diana's perch, and was rewarded by an affectionate peck to his fingers by the dark owl, he dusted the surfaces with a flick of his wand, and made quick work of the laundry. He carefully folded and put away the twins' clothing, and put the older children’s clean garments into their rooms for them to fold and put away themselves. Maggie and Eleazar were expected to take care of their own rooms, and they've been doing a good job of it, El perhaps a bit more so than Maggie. Still, Aesop wouldn't consider his oldest daughter's room overly messy, more like properly lived in. There were a few papers there, some drawing supplies here, the occasional book she left open somewhere, nothing too drastic.

And when the sun outside set, Aesop decided it was high time for him to start making dinner. He decided on chicken with rice, light yet filling. He usually either helped his wife with dinner, or he took it off her hands entirely. He thought about her while he worked, hoping wherever she was was that she was alright and would be joining them soon.

As he cooked, listening to his children play and talk in the other rooms, he thanked his lucky stars. There was a time he thought he was going to die alone, a bitter old man with a lame leg, and all those years ago, he wouldn't have believed that he'd ever have what he had now. A beautiful, kind, and thoughtful wife, and four amazing, healthy and clever children. He thought of the fifth, of their firstborn. He often wished the little one had been given a chance. He'd have a happy home, filled with people who loved him. Clarence was loved still, of course, even though he wasn't physically there. Aesop wondered whether he's somewhere out there, with his own dad and Ashley. He hoped it was the case, and that all of them knew no pain, no fear, and felt the love he held for them.

The former professor cast a heating charm on the pot containing MC's portion of dinner. Aesop didn't know if she'd be hungry when she arrived, but better to be ready.

Once the family was done eating, and Magdala and Eleazar kindly offered to take care of the dishes, they took turns in the bathroom, and Aesop supervised the twins' bath time. This too was one of the activities he and MC split. He knew that the youngest children would soon begin bathing on their own, so he was happy to indulge them in whatever game either of them decided to play in the tub. A collective teeth scrub later, Aesop went to put the small ones to bed. The two older were allowed to stay up a little longer, and both of them chose to use this extra time for some more reading and drawing.

He once again held (FN)'s hand as she slowly fell asleep, and Theo was not at all fussy about going to bed now. His hair sprawled on the pillow like a dark halo, and he was soon snoring quietly. 

When he was done with the twins, he made his way into Eleazar's room to find the middle child already in his bed, waiting for him to tuck him in patiently. 

"Dad?" Eleazar asked quietly. 

"What is it, dear?" Aesop kneed by the bed so that his son didn’t have to crane his head to look up at him.

"Can I help you with the batch of Blood replenishing potion tomorrow?"

"How do you know I'll be brewing that tomorrow?"

"You said so to mum, the day before yesterday."

Aesop laughed softly. Ever since he let Eleazar first assist him down at the potion cellar, the young lad tried to get himself included in his brewing as often as he could. Aesop didn’t know why exactly were potions this fascinating to a boy his age, but he hardly complained. After all, it seemed Eleazar was born with all the natural potioneer instincts and talent Aesop himself only gained through hard work and countless hours of practice: "Nothing escapes you, does it? Hm... I think you could assist me with that one."

"Really? Thank you,” Eleazar said with a soft little smile. The lad definitely took after his mother more, all soft features and gentle eyes.

"Now sleep,” Aesop rose again, squeezing his son's shoulder lightly before giving it a little pat, “I can't have you nodding off into a boiling hot cauldron, can I?"

Eleazar giggled tiredly: "Goodnight, dad."

"Goodnight, my dear lad."

After kissing his forehead, Aesop left the room, leaving his son to rest. Maggie was last. She wasn't in her bed when Aesop knocked on the door and entered her room. Instead, the young witch was still sitting at her desk, drawing. Her father stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame for a minute or two watching how hard his daughter concentrated. However, it truly was getting late now, and MC would hardly be pleased if she found out he let the children spend half the night awake.

"Come on, Maggs. Bedtime."

"Daddy, let me stay up a bit longer?"

Aesop looked at his daughter curiously. It was clear from her voice that she’s been fighting off yawns, and her eyes were small and sleepy in the light of her desk lamp. 

"Come now, dear, you’re tired. Why don't you want to go to bed?" He asked, stepping further into the room and coming to stand behind Magdala, looking at the various drawings she’s done throughout the evening. There were unicorns and mooncalves, but he also recognised Popps the Kneazle in one, as well as something that could’ve been a graphorn, if graphorns were known to look positively cute.

"I want to wait for mum! I would like to see the pictures..."

"Darling, I don't know when your mum will be back,” Aesop said calmly, stroking at his daughter’s back, “she could come back after midnight, or even in the early hours of the morning, you can't be awake the whole night waiting for her."

"Please..."

Aesop sighed. HHe didn’t want her to spend the next day completely exhausted, but he also hated disappointing his children. But then again, the young girl now looked like she was minutes away from falling asleep right there at her desk, and so perhaps he could coax her to at least retire to her cot while ‘allowing’ her to remain awake. He had no doubt the issue would then resolve itself quickly.

“But only a little longer, and I want you in bed. I'll wait with you, how does that sound?"

Maggie luckily agreed to these terms, and began putting her drawings and her tools away. Aesop waited until she settled in her bed, and then sat at the foot of it.

"Do you think I could ever go see the graphorns?" Maggie asked, her arms folded loosely on her chest. "I'm sure you will one day.,” her father replied, taking a gentle hold of one of her hands atop the blankets after making sure they were snug around her, “When you're a little bigger. I know your mum treats them like cats, but you must understand that graphorns aren’t really cats. They are incredibly dangerous."

"So are hippogriffs,” the girl tried to argue back, even though her voice was getting more and more sleepy by the second.

"Yes,” he agreed, “but the hippogriffs you and your siblings come into contact with have known you all of your lives. Wild hippogriffs would not be this friendly, and I doubt the wild graphorns at the sanctuary will take to your mum as easily as those she already tamed."

"...Will she be alright?"

"Oh, of course she will. She'll be right as rain. And tomorrow, she'll show you all the pictures and tell you all about her adventures."

"Why not today?” she argued still, even as her eyes were now more often closed than open.

"As I said, I don't know when your mum comes home. And even if she walked through the door right now, you're entirely too tired to be looking at graphorns right now, my sweet."

"I'm not - “ the girl yawned loudly, “-m not tired."

"Of course you're not."

"Have you ever touched a graphorn?"

"Oh I did. Several times, actually. The ones your mother used to keep. I was not too keen on them in the beginning, but they did grow on me over the years."

"Which other beasts did she keep? Any that she doesn't keep now?"

And so Aesop talked about all of the beasts he encountered in his wife's vivariums, and later in that chest he helped her transfigure into the perfect place for animals. Maggie would occasionally ask a question, her voice quieter and quieter each time, until she stopped asking entirely. Still, Aesop sat with her, looking at his precious little girl. Her face was still that of a child, but her more grown up features began appearing in it as well, and Aesop had no doubt she'd grow up to be a real beauty one day, just like her mother was. He actually saw in her bits of his own mother, Maggie’s namesake, like the gentle slope of her nose, or the expressive eyebrows.

Before he realised his eyes were even closing, the former professor nodded off.

A gentle hand on his cheek woke him and he looked around in the dim room. His eyes caught those of his wife. "Hello, you," she chirped quietly, mindful not to wake their daughter. Aesop stifled a groan - his poor back. It bothered him whenever he fell asleep somewhere that wasn't his bed. MC's other hand held out a vial he'd never fail to recognise.

"You'll be pleased to know that your crate worth of Wiggenweld potions was entirely unneeded. That is, until I came here and saw you. Was this your plan all along?" she asked teasingly, her eyes sparkling even in the dark. Aesop quickly gulped down the potion and welcomed the near instant relief. He gave one more look to his sleeping child before letting his wife pull him to his feet and lead him out of the bedroom.

Once they were outside and the door was shut, he gathered the woman into his arms and captured her lips with his own. It was not a short ‘welcome back’ kiss either, the former professor would not allow his woman to leave his arms until he deemed her sensibly snogged and breathless.

"Hello," he finally greeted, his voice slightly hoarse from both his impromptu nap and the heated kiss they just shared., "when did you get home?" "Just now,” she replied, still holding onto him for dear life, “It's half past midnight. Sorry I took so long, but the beasts are now safe in their new home."

"I'm happy to hear it. Have you eaten? There's chicken with rice in the kitchen."

"I have, thank you. I'll save it for tomorrow. But I could definitely use a bath. One gets sweaty chasing graphorns around."

Aesop chuckled, dipping his head into the crook of her neck, a very special place he considered his home just as much as his house.

"Hm... You smell amazing though."

"And you're a liar, Aesop Sharp."

"I'm not. You smell delectable. I could eat you up."

She laughed softly at his words, keeping her volume sensibly low so as not to wake up half the house. The palms of her hands made contact with his chest in what was st likely supposed to be a teasing smack, but was way too gentle to be seen as much.

"Oh you... Come, let's have a quick bath before bed, she decided, leading her husband away by the hand from their eldest daughter’s room and towards their own bedroom, "How was your day?" "Definitely less thrilling than yours, but I enjoyed it very much” said Aesop honestly, sitting on their shared bed as his wife began pulling off her rather dirty clothes. “The children were lovely and very well behaved the entire day, did their school work without any fuss, (FN) writes very nicely, and Eleazar’s fractions are getting better and better with each exercise. And Maggie helped me cook lunch today."

"Would you look at that. You lot have been busy. I'm very glad to hear it."

"What about you?” Aesop asked, aiding his wife at removing the last bits of her clothing while beginning to work on his own garment. Their clothes immediately floated off to the hamper to be dealt with later. !I can see you’ve been rolling around a bit."

"I had to dodge quickly, some of the males were a little fussy. I've still got it though, only broke a little sweat,” the younger woman gave him a little grin, and Aesop felt himself fall in love with her all over again. It’s been over fifteen years since they shared their first kiss, their first embrace, since they first lay together, and yet a single look and a single smile made Aesop’s heart pick up pace and his knees go a little weaker.

"I'd never dare even mention the possibility of you not having it,” He said finally. Aesop knew she saw right past him, he was hyper aware that she was able to read him like an open book now. She knew all of his secrets, the entirety of his past, she knew where he was vulnerable the most.

He couldn’t wish for a person he’d trust more with this knowledge.

“So, about the bath…”

Hello, and thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this story, we'll be very thankful for any and all feedback, and you can also check this fic out over at AO3, where all of the other Sharp family fics are as well 🥰

[sweettoothvn]

SO! Becca likes Noble. So what's stopping her from kidnapping him? If he's not there, he can't be with MC. Even if she just gets rid of MC how would she know he won't find someone else?

Becca knows something no one else does. So she plays a game of catch and release, she’s kidnapped Noble multiple times— majority thanks to David— but she’s a hunter that enjoys how clever he tries to outthink her so the game always starts over. She views it as she can have him whenever she wants him and it doesn’t matter who he tries to make his; it’s all temporary in her eyes, so he can have his fun with his ‘love’ or Rainn as much as he wants.

She’s too patient for her own good, and that comes back to bite her when you come along, yet she’s still intrigued. It’s all a form of entertainment at the end of the day and only she sees herself as the true winner.

[aurorawest]

Bargain of Blood and Gold by Kristin Jacques - 3.75/5 stars

Reminiscent of Jordan L Hawk's Widdershins series, but with vampires and werewolves. Also takes place in Maine, which isn't a very common setting. Unwittingly, I bought the second book in the series months ago, and I realized as it got to the top of my TBR that I didn't have the first book! I had to scramble to order it and I was happy I enjoyed it since, obviously, I already have the second book.

Ander & Santi Were Here by Jonny Garza Villa - DNF at pg 2

Captive Prince by CS Pacat (reread) - 5/5 stars

Prince's Gambit by CS Pacat (reread) - 5/5 stars

Kings Rising by CS Pacat - 5/5 stars

I think I loved these books even more on my reread.

Gravity by Tal Bauer - 4.25/5 stars

Probably my favorite hockey romance that I've read.

The Modern Mythos Anomaly by Juniper Lake Fitzgerald - DNF at pg 132

I actually liked the story, the characters, and the writing in general, but this book just needed another few edits to slim it down a bit.

Lose You to Find Me by Erik J Brown - 4.5/5 stars

Leeward by Katie Daysh - 4.5/5 stars

The blurbs on this book are hilarious, because they're all like, tall ships people, and then Mackenzi Lee, hailing it as a lovely queer historical romance. This was a really lovely book and I'm excited for the sequel. Also hoping for more kissing in the sequel since this was a serious slow burn.

Riley Weaver Needs a Date to the Gaybutante Ball by Jason June - 3.75/5 stars

Starseer by Katya Hernández - 4/5 stars

Be Dazzled by Ryan La Sala - 5/5 stars

I loved this book so much!! Oh my god. Super funny, very romantic. It revolves around cosplay which is of course a special interest of mine.

Northranger by Rey Terciero and Bre Indigo - 4.5/5 stars

Flying Without a Net by EM Ben Shaul - 2.75/5 stars

The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley (reread) - 5/5 stars

Striking Distance by Sarah Rees Brennan - 4.75/5 stars

I didn't expect to like this as much as I did. The graphic novels were good but changing to a novel format allowed for much deeper characters. Surprisingly devastating and also really funny.

The Old Haunts by Allan Radcliffe - 4/5 stars

The Gay Best Friend by Nicholas DiDomizio - 5/5 stars

Main character is the best friend of both the bride and the groom, and everything surrounding the wedding becomes a train wreck beginning on the weekend of the bachelor party, when the bride asks the MC, Dom, to keep tabs on the groom for her. As someone who is extremely conflict avoidant with friends but not family and romantic partners, I heavily related to Dom. There's also a romance that I really loved.

Romance Languages by AJ Truman - 4.25/5 stars

I think this was my favorite of the South Rock series. It deals with some more difficult topics—Julian's self-loathing over his body image is heartbreaking (and relatable), and Seamus's guilt over the way his gambling addiction hurt his ex was very well done. I'm a sucker for stories where a character learns to ask for help, not to mention difficult parent-child relationships, and this had both. I also appreciated Julian's arc re: sex and virginity.

Darkhearts by James L Sutter - 5/5 stars

Another bandmates-in-love treasure, with a twist—the main character, David, left the band right before they got famous. He ends up falling for one of his ex-friends/bandmates after they reconnect. The author is a musician himself, and it definitely shows (in a good way). I'm really a sucker for The Burdens of Fame, which this book definitely had, but there's actually a really good arc for David and how he deals with his jealousy and resentment over being left behind. Plus he wants to be a carpenter rather than go to college, which was cool.

Brute by Kim Fielding - 4.25/5 stars

We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian - 5/5 stars

What can I say about this book? Why was it so lovely? Why did it make me feel so much? Why can I not rate things higher than 5 stars? It's a million stars in my heart. Aside from just being a gorgeous mid-century America m/m romance (my favorite), this one features an Italian-American main character. The stuff with Nick's family was spot-on. I just loved this book. I felt like I was wrapping myself in a big, comfy, historical gay romance blanket.

Drowned Country by Emily Tesh - 5/5 stars

The sequel to Silver in the Wood. Had a very mythic and sort of folk horror vibe. This one is from Henry Silver's POV instead of Tobias Finch's and takes place two years after Silver in the Wood, which is time that Henry has mostly spent sulking in Greenhollow Hall, sans Tobias. Really highly recommend this duology. Emily Tesh is a treasure.

The Alchemy of Moonlight by David Ferraro - DNF at pg 11