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shippaidan · 2 years

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no one says that they are afraid of love as beautifully as you do

>>chapter: five >>pairings: chuuya x fem!reader | dazai x fem!reader >>genre: angst >>status: ongoing >>words: 4,8k (that's a long one) >>cw: spoilers, she/her pronouns for reader, swearing, alcohol, mention of vomiting, mentions of death/suicide

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a/n okaay so since it's my birthday today, I decided to post new chapter yeehaw also I'm going out this weekend so I'll probably start posting requests on sunday/monday! sorry for the delay!

REGRET.

As expected, everything went exactly according to his plan. The freezing wall chilled his back, his hands were chained with thick shackles, and his spine was a little sore from being in the same position for a long time. It was not the most comfortable experience, that's for sure, but there had been worse. And besides, who was he to complain? He was just a kidnapped man.

After rather unpleasant confrontation with his former subordinate, he intensely analyzed the entire situation he found himself in and decided on the best possible steps he could take. However, the sound of footsteps snapped him out of his contemplations. Elegant shoes appeared in his line of sight, and the echo of the steps seemed to pound into his brain.

"Well well well, who do we have here? Plotting as usual?" That voice. That fucking voice. The familiar man stood in full view at the bottom of the stairs, at which Dazai rolled his eyes.

"Dammit,” he muttered.

"Dazai Osamu." Chuuya spat out with a hint of disgust in his voice. To be completely honest, he was definitely the last person Dazai wanted to see, but deep inside he was expecting this visit. He would never let such an opportunity pass him by.

"Oh, the same old Chuuya. How nice to see you here." Dazai sent him a bitter smile. "What brings you to my humble abode? Forgive the mess, I haven't had time to decorate yet."

"I only came to see you as a sad little prisoner. It is better than I could have expected." Chuuya walked closer to the cuffed man and glared at him with despising eyes. The amount of emotion that filled his body seemed to boil from his intense gaze. Rage, betrayal, hatred. A kaleidoscope of feelings shimmered in his irises as he slowly approached Dazai. Until they came face to face with each other.

"Did you miss me so much that you decided to visit me in my misery? Do you want to look into my eyes one last time before I am sentenced to death? How romantic." The wicked smile did not leave his face.

"Listen here, you may be able to fool Akutagawa, but not me." Chuuya walked even closer to Dazai and with a brutal motion grabbed his hair, clenching his fist tightly and pulling downward. With an intense and also a little bit sad gaze, he stared straight into the almost empty eyes of a former friend. "What kind of sick game are you playing now?"

"Playing? I've been captured and am awaiting execution as a traitor of Port-"

"Cut the crap. The Dazai I know would never get caught through bad luck or carelessness. If you were that stupid, I would have killed you long ago.” Chuuya clenched his fist even tighter in his hair. Holding back in this situation required inhuman amounts of patience and self-control, but he had no intention of losing his cool until he knew the real reason for Dazai's reappearance. The stakes were too high, and Dazai was far too dangerous as a player in this game.

"You overthink things too much, Chuuya. But you've always had a bad habit of doing that." Dazai sent him a sly smile, at which Chuuya scowled and let go of a fistful of hair. Every word coming out of his mouth made him nauseous. "I know you like the back of my hand, Chuu. After all, I wouldn't be such a good partner if I didn't know you, would I?"

"Fucking bullshit. Don’t change the subject." Chuuya grunted with annoyance.

"It’s honestly really nice to see that you haven't changed a thing. I bet you are still just a passive observer of your own life, accepting all the logs that fate throws at your feet? Am I right?"

"Oh, shut your mouth already and stop playing dumb. Why did you let yourself get caught? What are you looking for here?” Chuuya was slowly losing patience. Dazai's mere presence was getting on his nerves to the point that with the remaining strength he restrained himself from punching him. With every second of looking at his stupid smirk, memories of her face contorted from suffering ran through his mind. Her bitter tears, broken bottles and nights sat in the bathroom, holding her hair and stroking her back while she threw up the entire contents of her stomach. Chuuya hated Dazai for how much he made her suffer. He hated him with all his heart.

"The main reason is Atsushi."

"Atsushi?" The unfamiliar name caught Chuyua off guard. For a long time, something inside told him that maybe Dazai had come back for her after all. Maybe he had come back to shatter their little heaven they had carefully built over the past months. That would be something that would suit him perfectly. Thus, Dazai's answer both surprised and somewhat calmed him down. Now he got curious. „Who’s Atsushi?”

"That weretiger you're so obsessed with."

"Ah, that guy?” Chuuya waved his hand. "I'm not a part of this whole kidnapping thing. Akutagawa is in charge. I don't have any details."

"Then why were you so bothered by the fact that I'm here? Why else would I-" Suddenly, everything came together in Dazai's head. He laughed quietly, realizing the whole reason for his former partner's visit. His irritation, nervousness and suspicion. It all began to make sense. "Ah I can see what's going on here."

"What are you talking about, shithead?" Chuuya frowned. He definitely didn't like either Dazai's tone or expression painted on his face.

"It's not nice to play dumb like that when moments earlier you accused me of it." Dazai shook his head with mock disapproval. He sighed loudly and continued. "What a plot twist. The side character of his own life finally got the girl. That doesn't happen very often. You should be proud of yourself.”

"What the fuck are you-" Taken aback, Chuuya tried to interrupt him, but Dazai didn't seem to care.

"Don’t worry, I’m not here to take her away from you. I don’t want her. Although I am a little bit curious about how she would react if she saw me down here. I wonder if she would drop everything and run into my arms. What do you think?” He continued his vicious flood of taunting words, not quite sure why he reacted so violently. Why this thought affected him so much. Why imagining her at Chuuya's side felt so... wrong. So he threw out the worst words he could muster, though he wasn't sure if he wanted to fool himself with them or hurt someone in revenge. Maybe both. Maybe he wanted to hurt himself the most.

"Oi, shut up before you say too much. You don't even know what you're talking about." Chuuya felt such an uncontrollable surge of anger that he clenched his fists with all his might.

"It's a real shame that you only have her because I left."

"Last warning, Dazai. I swear to fucking god-"

"Why, am I wrong? Or does the truth hurt you that much?" The man's fury was like fuel for Dazai at that moment. „I’m really sorry I’m the one who have to break it to you, but she would never choose you, if I stayed. No one would.” Dazai's mocking laughter assaulted every cell in Chuuya's body. He saw red. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. He didn't even fully believe that Dazai would be capable of such a thing. To torment him with such cruel words. Was he really that heartless? „Tell me Chuuya, how does it feel to pick up trash after me?”

And that was the moment when Chuuya snapped. He couldn't bear a single word more from Dazai's mouth. They all bit into his brain and sowed the seeds of doubt with their sharp fangs. So he approached him without hesitation and punched him in the face as hard as he could. Finally, silence fell.

"Try to say one more fucking word, and you won't live to see your execution."

Dazai became more serious. Flames of hatred and betrayal seemed to burn in Chuuya's azure eyes. They stared at one another intensely, as if trying to read each other's thoughts, but neither of them dared to speak a word again. That is until, after a few short moments, the echo of footsteps on the stairs reached their ears.

"Chuuya, you' down here?" Oh no. Dazai opened his eyes wider in surprise. It was a turn of events he had not predicted. His heart started pounding like crazy. No, no, no. This was not how it was supposed to be. She wasn't supposed to come here.

"Yeah, I am." Chuuya replied, completely ignoring the cuffed man, and moved toward the stairs. As soon as her familiar silhouette stood right in front of him, Dazai lost all his previous confidence. For a moment, he even had the feeling, no, he sincerely hoped, that Chuuya's punch was strong enough to knock him unconscious, and that it was all just a hallucination. He was not ready to meet her face to face. However, the moment their gazes met, he no longer had any doubts. He would recognize that pair of wistful eyes anywhere. It was her. The real her.

This did not bode well.

A hot pain spread throughout his chest. She was exactly as stunning as he remembered her. Thousands of thoughts swirled in his head. He carefully watched her escaping gaze, just to avoid looking at him. Her slightly dejected figure. Her lowered tone of voice. As if she was trying to be invisible to him. But it's hard for her to be invisible when she was the one thing in Dazai's eyes worth looking at.

He didn't pay the slightest attention to the conversation between her and Chuuya, but he didn't even look away for a moment. What a torture. Her completely ignoring Dazai was the worst form of penalty. He would have preferred a thousand times more if she had been the one to inflict punishment on him for all the mistakes of the past. Every part of his body begged for her gaze, her attention, her anger. He had to take control of himself and this situation.

"Oh, what a wonderful reunion! Would you like to join our pleasant chat?" He spoke up with an overly sweet smile. She, however, only gave him a vague glance and turned to Chuuya again.

"Give me the keys. When you're done talking to that man, just come to the car." Oh.

"That man? You wound me, darling. Is that how you greet your beloved?" Yes, that's exactly how you should greet someone like me. I should be destroyed. Please, destroy me.

"Beloved? You've got to be kidding me." The note of anger in her voice pleased Dazai. A little more and he'll get what he wants. Please make me feel something again. Make me suffer. Make me bleed.

"Oh don't be like that. It's me, your Osamu. Stop pouting and give me a hug. To the good old days." Just a little bit more.

"I know what you're trying to do and you won't succeed. You won't provoke me." Dazai fell silent. The fake smile came off his face and was replaced by shock, which unfortunately he was unable to hide. She could see right through him, couldn't she?

"Come on, why would I want to provoke you?" He laughed, yet inside he was shrieking, begging for some kind of reaction from her. He prayed that she would scream at him, cry, punch him, make a ruckus and start an apocalypse. Or that she would at least raise her voice a little and give vent to her anger. That she would make it clear to him that he was no longer welcome in her life. Anything, just so he could finally move on.

Please, I beg you, tear me down. I deserved it.

"I won't do it." She said calmly, as if reading his mind. Maybe in fact, she could read his mind. After all, she knew him better than anyone else in this world. She stepped closer to him and gazed straight into his soul with disappointed eyes. "You won't get the closure, Dazai. You don't deserve it now. Are you even aware of what you've done? You left me when I was at my lowest. I lost Ango, I lost Oda and that same night I lost you, and it was your decision to leave me. You don’t get to move on. I just hope you are doing well in your new life and it was worth destroying me completely. I really fucking hope it was worth it."

And the worst part was that... it was not worth it. He was nauseous. Every word coming out of her lips was like a dagger thrust and twisted in his heart. Of course, he was aware of what he had done to her. He wasn't that much of an idiot. But hearing it out loud hurt a thousand times more than he might have thought. He could feel Chuuya's burning gaze of hatred on him, but he didn't care. He focused all his attention on her, like a sponge absorbing the piercing words.

Her voice did not tremble. But Dazai's heart did.

"I don't think I need to tell you where to find the stuff you came here for. I bet you figured it out yourself a long time ago. Just get out of my sight and never come back. I’m not going to let you destroy everything again." And so, the two headed for the stairs without turning back. Leaving Dazai all alone with his greatest enemy. Himself.

From that point on, getting the information he wanted did not require much time or effort from him. The most effort, against all appearances, was to return home. Or rather house. He closed the apartment door behind him and sighed quietly with stale air. It could use some ventilation, that's for sure. He kicked his shoes into a corner somewhere and with a heavy step entered the room.

"I'm home." He muttered to himself. He did every single time, even if there was not a single person to answer him. Not a single person waiting for him. However, he continued this small habit, as if there was still a sliver of hope hidden deep in his heart that one day he would hear the long awaited words. Welcome home.

Home. What a strange word. What was "home" anyway? Everyone certainly has their own definition of it. Was home just a place where a person stored their belongings, spent their free time, and slept under a roof at night? Or was home the smell of a warm dinner, quiet music playing on the radio and more than one pair of shoes by the doormat? What was this enigmatic "home"?

Well, according to Dazai, home was a place on earth. A place where he could return with peace of mind, knowing that he would always be welcomed back and accepted. A place where he could remove all masks from his face and fully be himself, without fear of rejection. A place where someone would be waiting for him, who would wrap him in gentleness and patience. A place where he could die every night and be born again along with the sunrise. A small heaven on earth.

Dazai did not have a home.

Or at least not anymore.

He began to wonder if she had a home these days. Did her snow-white walls still exude the icy cold of forsaken souls and sleepless nights? Did her bedroom still smell of empty promises and broken voices? Did the phantom of the life he left behind seep into the concrete of the walls and haunt her every night?

Or maybe now the frost of her life had been replaced by a soothing warmth she had never experienced before. Maybe her living room was decorated with beautiful flowers and floating memories in photographs where her smile outshone even the summer sun. Maybe the couch was draped with soft blankets and a pile of pillows where she rested at her leisure, watching her favorite movies. Maybe there was a warm dinner waiting for her and the gentle smile of another person. Two pairs of slippers, two mugs of morning coffee and two spoons in the sink, after a late night ice cream snack.

Maybe someone had given her the home that Dazai never could.

He hoped so.

He stood in the middle of the nearly empty room and, for the first time in a long time, looked around carefully. The dark apartment without an ounce of soul was a perfect reflection of him. Devoid of any beauty, it brought no comfort, no sense of security or reassurance. Only empty walls, a bed that hadn't been made in weeks, and clothes scattered on the floor that he didn't have the energy to put back in place. It was his own hell, which reminded him of his misery and solitude every single day.

Or was it not hell? Maybe it was just purgatory. A place where he could atone for his previous life. Even if he wasn't very religious, Dazai was sure, this must be some kind of punishment. Punishment for all the crimes and sins he had committed. For all the lives he had taken, for all the blood he had spilled, for every broken bone and heart ripped from the chest. For every trigger pulled. For every family he shattered. For the fact that he was born.

He sincerely believed that someone like him should never have been born. From an early age, he had been searching for the essence of life, but he couldn't find it in anyone or anything in his path. So he gravitated to people and environments where feelings and emotions were uncannily real. Where no one bothered to mask their worst sides. Where he could observe behavior, and perhaps that way he could learn how to be human.

His biggest mistake, however, was seeking the meaning of life in a place that ended it without hesitation. He hoped that in the raw emotions of the murderers, he would find the truth about what really makes a person human. And all he found was his own downfall.

However, in the midst of this chaos of death and doom, there was also her. In her hard shell hiding a beauty that Dazai was not worthy enough to see. Her cold hands covered in gold so delicately put his fragments together as if he were fragile porcelain. He probably never gave a hint of it, but her every word touched a depth of his soul he didn't even know he had. In her coldness, she was warm like oozing blood, dripping slowly onto the melting snow. She was a breath of fresh air after a midnight downpour. The first sip of morning coffee. She was beautiful. Beautiful in such an incomprehensible way that Dazai never saw anyone like her again.

On a daily basis, she was surrounded by an aura of composure and calm. A determined gaze always focused on the goal. Ready to do anything to achieve it. Confident, unstoppable, merciless. Yet she was at the same time the embodiment of comfort and understanding. She never judged. She made everyone at the bar laugh with her sense of humor, and her breakfasts were the best he had ever had. Existence with her by his side was a little more bearable.

Above all, however, she was too good for him. Too understanding, too patient, too caring. She didn't care for him the way a person would care for a small child. She didn't hover over him, she didn't pander to his every whim, she didn't flood him with a wave of affectionate words. Most of the time, in complete silence, she simply stayed by his side, absorbing together the frost of the morning and the frost of their hearts. And that was enough.

Oh how dare he hurt her like that?

However, Dazai knew that he was no good to her. He was only giving her a substitute for what she really needed. What she really deserved. Even if she was a ruthless mafia executive, ready to pull the trigger at any moment, taking lives exactly like him, without hesitation. She was something more. Or at least in Dazai's eyes.

He did not yet understand the concept of love back then. In fact, he probably still didn't fully understand it. However, at the time, these feelings overwhelmed him. He wasn't used to the racing heartbeat, the burning warmth in his chest and the indescribable attachment that pushed him to spend every possible moment by her side. He wasn't used to it and was terrified by it. He was terrified by the very sound of the cursed word. He was terrified by the dependence on another human being and the prospect that sooner or later he might lose her. How would he survive losing her after exposing his whole heart? He knew that the best way out was to end their relationship before it developed. Nevertheless, he selfishly allowed himself to bask in her presence a moment too long. Then unforgiving fate proved to him once again that everything he ever wanted would be taken away from him.

He realized that his leave from the mafia would bring much suffering. What he didn't expect, however, was that most of that suffering would fall on him. Perhaps it was for the best. After all, he was the evil of this world. An outcast, looking for his own place, yet never knowing how to fully fit in.

Oh what in the world had he done? Was it all really worth it? Was abandoning everything just to fulfill a dying friend's last wish actually his path? Or did he make an irreversible mistake? Regardless, there was no turning back. Nor a chance to make things right again.

He did not predict the consequences. Oh how painfully he did not predict the consequences of this rash fulfillment of a promise. The beginning was not so bad. He disappeared from the face of the earth, holed up in his own world and waited patiently for the smoke of confusion caused by his disappearance to slowly settle. Time, however, verified him. His life completely lost any leftover shine and color, and turned into a pure attempt to exist from day to day. Dazai stopped living. Dazai began to vegetate.

And what's the point in that? What's the point in fighting every morning, only to spend another day in solitude and go to bed with the same sense of hopelessness as the day before? What is the point? The thing is, there is no point. That's why in Dazai's life, death was not a terrifying vision of the unknown, it was like a beautiful salvation, saving him from the burden of life on earth. From the weight of regret, remorse and rejection. He clung to the concept of death like a drowning man grasping at a razor, as his last resort. There were days when he desired it more than anything else in the world. To end this never-ending string of failures and disappointments. To close his eyes once and for all and finally truly rest. From the world, from people, from suffering. From himself.

Oh what a pathetically weak man he was. All it took was a moment, one look in her direction and a few words flowing from between her lips to shake the foundation of the entire new life he had built from scratch. But how could he ignore the blistering pain in his heart and the weight in his throat, brutally falling into his stomach? He couldn't get rid of the memory of her fleeing gaze, just to avoid catching eye contact with him. Her defensive posture, as if his very presence was a threat to her and an agonizing pain. And maybe it was. It probably was.

He saw her in many different situations. He saw rage emanating from her eyes and ripping out of her throat, he saw sadness overwhelming her mind and he saw joy filling the room with sunshine. He saw it all. However, he had never seen her so defeated and retreating. Or at least he had never been the one she was pulling away from. The realization flashed through his mind that he would probably never see her sincere smile ever again. And that thought somehow hurt him particularly deeply.

He began to wonder how their lives would have turned out if he had stayed in the mafia instead. Would they still be inseparable, giving each other every bit of warmth they could ever muster? Maybe they would have been more than just souls suspended in the void, accompanying each other through the hardships of the world. Maybe they would have crossed that invisible barrier and become something more. Maybe they would have learned to love. Or maybe their paths would have drifted apart over time, leaving a bitter aftertaste of shattered hope in their mouths. What if they met now? If they had met when Dazai had already abandoned his merciless alter ego, would their story have turned out differently? Oh how Dazai longed at least for a moment to go back in time and shake the younger version of himself. To tell him to come to his senses, that it's not worth it. That he is irreversibly losing something from his life that will never happen again.

He cringed at the very memory of his cruel words that he sometimes threw in her direction. How he used to reject her without a second thought and throw her out of his life. How brutally he was able to break her spirit time and time again, only to return the next day as if nothing had ever happened. He continually left her in darkness, doubt and despair, making her look for a way back on her own, while he reached out to her without hesitation, whenever he got a little lost. He wasn't being fair. He knew it.

He only hoped that someday she would be able to forgive him. Because he will never be able to forgive himself.

Maybe that was the sign that he had actually changed. Living in the light gave him a different perspective on the world. And because of this, the mistakes he made in the past weighed on his shoulders more than he could carry. So he kept collapsing. Every single day. And there was no one left to pick him up.

Dazai was so painfully miserable.

And now he was alone. Completely alone. Despite his daily conversations with his colleagues at the agency, despite the morning calls from an impatient Kunikida who rushed him to work, despite the smile that graced his face every day, he was alone. Like a clown performing in a circus, his each and every day began to resemble a pathetic performance more than actual life. Pretending as if he had not been dying the night before.

So in the end, was it really worth it? Wasn't he supposed to be happy by doing the right thing? Why was he so wretched, even though he did everything Odasaku asked him to do, letting out that one final breath on his deathbed? Could it be possible that Odasaku was wrong? Is it selfish of Dazai to regret his decision at times? Is it really that selfish of him to want to return to where he was truly happy? Even if only a little? To that questions, and a thousand others, Dazai unfortunately did not know the answer.

Of one thing he was sure. The night that would prove to be his demise, the night he would finally place a delicate kiss on death's lips, he will whisper into the eternal immensity of the sky. He will whisper as if he is whispering in her ear one last time. Hoping that the moon will carry his voice and reach her soul.

I'm sorry I was too terrified to love you.

#dazai x reader #chuuya x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #bsd imagines #bsd headcanons #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #bungou stray dogs #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #dazai x you #chuuya x you #bsd angst #bungou stray dogs angst #dazai angst #chuuya angst #bsd series #xen|series

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shadyteacup · 3 years

Note

Could you write something where reader has a nightmare about port mafia Dazai going after her, when Dazai wakes up to her freaking out in her sleep he tries waking her up and when she does she still thinks she’s dreaming? Eventually she calms down but feels really bad picturing Dazai like that :(( angst to comfort

I'm back from the dead! I didn't use fem pronouns because I didn't have to, but since u requested it, the reader is fem .. I feel that this is more of a comfort fic if the reader is Dazai himself, lol.. Sorry it took so long..

Osamu Dazai x Fem! Reader||Warnings: violence, nightmare.|| Angst to comfort|| Word count: 1482.

Nightmare

You had known Dazai since his mafia days. You were a friend of Nakahara Chuuya, and had bumped into Dazai when the you and Chuuya were meeting up after your school. You knew that Chuuya was involved in gangs and probably violence, but he was your friend, and you trusted him.

"So, how was school?"

He asked you, hands in his pockets. It had been a few weeks since he had contacted you. He looked different, almost as if these past few weeks have scarred him. His clothes were more expensive. You could tell by their fancy look and glimmer. His jacket was probably genuine leather. He adorned a strange but cute hat too.

"It was okay. Where have you been?"

He glanced at you, raising a bow.

"You must have robbed a bank or something to afford that jacket. It looks really dope, by the way."

He shrugged, avoiding your gaze.

Sighing, he began talking as you two made your way to the park.

...

Sitting down on the swing, you gave the ground a light kick, enough to rock you slightly.

Chuuya sat on the swing adjacent to yours.

"So you joined the mafia. Interesting. "

He was confused as to why you weren't alarmed about his revelation.

"And you're okay with that?"

You shrugged.

"As long as you don't get me killed, or anyone I care about is hurt, I'm cool. Besides, you always find a way to fall into trouble. This isn't new."

"Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you."

"Great."

You heard shuffling behind you. Without turning back, you said,

"You can join us, you know. You don't have to keep hiding. You're doing a really bad job anyways."

"Who're you talking to?"

"The spy in the bushes."

Chuuya swiftly turns around, ready to attack, when Dazai peeps out of the green mesh.

"Dazai, what the hell are you doing here?!"

And that's how you had met your boyfriend. You had seen him in action a couple of times too. It scared you, but you were able to appreciate the human in him.

...

It was pitch black. You couldn't see a thing. Your hands were probably tied behind your back. You could feel the rough threads of the rope dig into your wrists. It hurt. You tried maneuvering your way out of the knots, only for them to grow tighter. Wincing at the pain, you tried to sit up. You were lying on the cold, hard floor of some abandoned building. Your captor was yet to reveal himself.

Pushing yourself up, you quickly got a hold over yourself. Trying to maintain balance, you tried your best to peer through the dark. Soon enough, your eyes adjusted, and you could see that you were in a small room. You could spot the door. Nothing sharp resided near you. You couldn't cut off the rope. Well, you just have to run out of here then. As you were about to reach the door, it flew open.

You gasped, taking a few steps back.

"Thought you could escape? How cute."

Dazai stood at the door. You felt relieved. Maybe he was here to help you! But the look on his face and the sneer at his lips said otherwise.

"Dazai! Thank God you're here. Help me out of these ropes-"

You were cut short as you were suddenly slammed into a wall. The impact and the sudden movement made you gasp.

Dazai stood in front of you, his hands gripping your shoulders tightly, and his knuckles had turned white from the pressure he was applying.

You were sure his fingers would break through the cloth of your shirt and draw blood from your shoulders.

One of his eyes was covered in bandages, while the other was glaring down at you. His entire aura was different.

No. Rather, it was something you hadn't sensed in a long time.

His long black trench coat hung loosely over his shoulders as he towered over your shaking form.

"In case I haven't made it clear; You're not getting out of here. Not alive, that is."

He threw you forcefully to the side. You banged into a wooden desk. The edge hit the right side of your torso. You winced in pain before dropping to the ground. You felt a kick on your stomach. Your entire body lurched forward at the impact.

"Hah! Stop! Please..."

Your words were futile. He kept carelessly plunging his hard boot into your torso. You were sure that you'd broken a few ribs. They had probably pierced your lungs. You could feel blood rise up your throat.

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. what.. did I do..?"

You kept repeating these words, trying to get him to stop. Somewhere along the process your ropes had loosened, but didn't have the energy to free yourself. It would be in vain anyways, since he won't let you step foot outside the door.

After a few more kicks, he finally stopped, crouching down to your eye level.

"You're so pathetic. Goodbye, Y/N."

He pulled out a gun and shot you in the face.

...

You jerked awake, sweat glistening on your forehead and your breaths were shaky and uneven. Dazai woke up from the sudden movement, trying to guage the situation.

"What's wrong?"

His voice sent shivers down your spine, and you scurried off the bed. You placed a hand over your torso, trying to find the bruises that he had probably left.

"Y/N?"

Dazai asks as he slowly makes his way over to you. When you notice him coming tour way, you panic.

"No! Don't come closer! Please! I'm sorry!"

Dazai froze in his place. He knew you were having a nightmare, he just didn't know he was the one making it scary.

"Okay, I won't. Tell me what's wrong."

You stood shaking, back to the wall as you tried making sense of your surroundings. You were able to make out the bed and the bedroom. The room that the two of you shared. It was dark. Probably nighttime. You were just having a bad dream. That wasn't real. This is. Dazai won't hurt you. He isn't in the mafia anymore.

"Y-you won't.. hurt me?"

Your frightened stare and broken whispers broke Dazai's heart. What did you dream? Did you see him as a monster? Is he being a monster to you? Dreams are only reflections of our subconscious minds. So do you fear him?

"No, I won't hurt you."

He says, trying to calm you down.

"Promise?"

You whispered.

"I promise. I won't ever hurt you. Ever."

You gulped down your fear and slowly inched over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. He stool completely still, fearing that if he moved even a little, he might scare you. You placed your cheek on his chest, inhaling his scent. It really was him. It was your Dazai.

When you realized what had just happened, tears began flowing down your cheeks.

"I'm so sorry.."

You managed to say between sobs.

Dazai hesitantly placed his arms over you, gently rocking you.

"Shh.. Don't cry. It's okay now."

"I'm so sorry.."

"Why are you sorry, sweetheart? It was just a dream, right."

You nodded against his chest.

"But I made you the villain. You're not a bad guy. You're amazing. I don't know why... I can't think of a reason why I saw you.. like that.."

Dazai's heart broke a little more.

"Maybe I am a monster. I'm just too good at hiding it."

His ominous tone wasn't meant to warn you. It was a result of his own self hate. He hated that he used to be a monster. If he hadn't known you, then maybe a couple of years ago, he wouldn’t have thought twice before hurting you.

"No, you're not. You're a child hiding under a strong façade. "

Dazai's eyes widened at that.

"What?"

You pulled back, wiping your tears off your face.

"I saw it the first time we met. You were just a child who was asked to grow up too fast. You hadn't lived your childhood. Under all the threats, jests, murders and plans, you're but a scared child."

He just stared at you.

"That's part of the reason why I trust you. I know you didn't mean to harm. You were just told to. Now that you have a chance to do what you truly want to do, you choose to not harm. I really admire that about you."

You caressed his cheek in your palm.

"I don't know why I dreamt what I just did, but if there's one thing I know for sure, it's that you would never hurt me. I trust you."

Those three words.

'I trust you'.

They were enough for Dazai. They meant so much to him.

With a shaky whisper, he muttered.

"Thank you."

You smiled, pulling him in an embrace.

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popopretty · 3 years

Text

Storm Bringer Spoilers (10)

A small part from the Epilogue where Chuuya and Dazai met up with Dr. Wollstonecraft. It was from one of the translation requests I got long ago and this part is fun, everyone is so adorable, so here it is.

Feel free to retranslate if you want. Just note that I am not a native speaker in either Japanese or English so I make mistakes sometimes.

Chuuya went back to the pier, and as he was about to get on his bike, a black car slowly approached him. The window at the back seat slowly came down and the person inside called out, "Chuuya".

That was Dazai. It was a rare sight. He had his black suit and his tie on, the formal attire for guests greeting.

"Work is in five minutes."

Chuuya and Dazai were standing under the gangway of a luxury passenger ship.

That was a ridiculously expensive fancy liner. The ship that Shirase had boarded before that was incomparable to it, both in size and materials. Its paint was chalk-white without a spot, the five-story guest rooms were decorated like the finest hotels. No matter where the passengers went, they would be accompanied by a skilled guide on board. The ship was also known for its navigational capability. Even when it sailed at twice the speed of an ordinary ship, its turbulence was less than one tenth of a normal one.

That ship was called "The Boswellian".

The government's passenger ship that only high-ranking government officials were allowed to board.

The gangway was lowered and delegation descended in front of Chuuya and Dazai's eyes.

First were the guardsmen in black suits. They cautiously looked around at all directions. The bulges around their waists showed that they were all carrying guns.

After that came some bearded men who looked like officials. Old, capable, with gray brown eyes that showed no hints of what they were thinking. Their clothes were of top-quality. A man carrying a cane with a golden spiral pattern on it was pushing the crew who was trying to help him off board with the tip of his cane, so crudely as if he was chasing away a stray dog on the street.

"The noble demons of England have showed up." Dazai murmured in a voice that only Chuuya who was standing next to him could hear.

Those people were high-ranking officials of the British government who came here for the post-incident investigation, the “Assassination King incident" that occurred through multiple levels of state secrets. A team of investigators were dispatched to Japan to investigate this serious case that went beyond a normal criminal case, and report to the government. And Port Mafia had come forward to welcome the team and cooperate with them in the investigation, as a party to the case.

Illegal organization Port Mafia is in charge of welcoming the investigation team of the British government.

It was an odd situation, but there was a certain rationale and calculation of the Boss behind it.

First of all, the one who had the whole picture of the incident this time was neither the Ministry of Foreign Affairs nor the police, but Port Mafia. As from the beginning, the European governments had been trying to hide it completely from the Japanese government. Also from the Port Mafia side, they also had a reason to keep a close eye on the movements of the mighty British government.

That was because they suspected that these people might try to eliminate every person of Port Mafia who was involved in this incident to cover up the "Assasination King incident" that arose from the state secrets.

Obviously, Port Mafia had no intention to reveal the truth and the secrets of the case. But it was hard to tell how much the British would believe in words of a criminal organization. That was why Dazai was sent to greet them. If they really had the intention to eliminate the people involved, Dazai would have to negotiate to stop that from happening. If the negotiation failed, then Port Mafia would have to eliminate the investigation team before the other party had the chance to eliminate them. That was why Chuuya was accompanying him. Depending on the other party's actions, this might turn into an interstate war that involved the whole Port Mafia.

“Well, let the fun deception game begin.”, Dazai said excitedly as he headed towards the investigation team.

The guard men immediately reacted to the person approaching, their hands reaching for their waists where the guns were.

“Thank you for coming all the way here, ladies and gentlemen of the great British Empire.” Dazai's attitude changed completely as he greeted the guests with a fluent and courteous voice. “You must be the members of the investigation team? I know this is sudden but may I ask who your representative is?”

“Representative?” the guardsman whom Dazai directed this question to looked rather confused and tilted his head. "This is the technical advisory unit of the investigation team so if you say representative, I think that might be Dr. Wollstonecraft...”

Dr. Wollstonecraft?

Chuuya tilted his head. He had heard that name somewhere before.

“Aa!” Dazai seemed to get it right away. “I heard that name before. That’s the skilled engineer who designed Investigator Adam Frankenstein, right? Hmm... you must be Dr. Wollstonecraft then?” Dazai followed the gazed of the guardsman and called out to the most dignified and oldest man in the investigation team. He had a shaggy white beard, a receding hairline, and two medals for achievements in the military science sector pinned to his chest.

The old man noticed Dazai’s voice and laughed out cheerfully.

“No no, I’m not Dr. Wollstonecraft. I’m just tagging along. Doctor is... Look! She's getting off the ship right now.”

Dazai and Chuuya followed the old man’s eyes and looked up at the ship’s gangway. At the top of it, an oversized travel suitcase was left there unassisted. Wait...

“Okay. Nice to meet you. I’m Dr. Wollstonecraft... Oh so this is the said country? It looks bigger than on the map.”

The small figure that appeared from behind the suitcase, no matter how you looked at her...

“... How old is that?”

That was a little girl.

Blond hair, white blouse. The suitcase was big, but she was also small enough to be completely hidden behind it. She wore a big pair of round glasses that covered half of her face. And on her chest were more than twenty medals for achievements in science.

“Hey hey...” Chuuya made a drawn face.

“Oh! It's getting interesting.” Dazai laughed happily.

The little girl struggled down the gangway. She was holding the oversized suitcase, or rather, clinging onto it as it dragged her downwards.

“Heave ho! I am.. heave-ho... Dr... heave-ho! Wollstonecraft Godwin Shelley, heave-ho!”. The girl spoke every time she got off one step, still clinging on to the heavy luggage. “People call me the girl with a genius brain but, heave-ho, those are people who don't have the ability to see the essence of things. Heave-ho! My achievements are thanks to my special skill that make any designs possible. Heave-ho! And because I am a genius.”

“Hey, aren't you going to help her with that heavy luggage?” Chuuya couldn't stand it anymore and asked the bearded old man next to him.

“Hahaha. Doctor is the type of person who doesn't want anyone to touch her luggage.” the old man laughed cheerfully. "Even Her Majesty wouldn't be able to take that from her. Because if we do so, she will start crying and screaming, just like a kid who has gone back 10 years in time."

“If she goes back that much, isn't she gonna end up in her mother’s belly again...?” Chuuya said with a tired face.

“Also, she may look like that, but Doctor was really looking forward to this trip. That case is filled with her favorite essentials for this trip. No-one will be able to take it from her.”

“Old man! Don’t go around talking about me like I am just a normal little girl! I might be short but I will be a full-grown decent adult very soon.... heave-ho!”

Dr. Shelley finally got to the end of the gangway. She wiped off the sweat on her face and fixed her clothes with her hands. “Phew! Nice to meet you again, people of Japan. Well... you are Chuuya-kun right? Thanks for taking care of Adam.”

Upon hearing Adam’s name, Chuuya's face looked like he just shallowed a bitter thing down his throat. "I am not sure." , he then said. "The one who was taken care of was me."

The little girl fixed the big glasses to the middle of her face and stared at Chuuya.

“He died saving me... Doctor, Adam is your best work, right? I'm sorry for breaking it.”

“Hmm.”

Doctor Shelley observed Chuuya from the left, from the right, then stared at him closely from the front. Like she was observing an interesting research subject.

"You are right, Adam is my greatest work." , she said with her arms crossed. “Rather than sending him to a good-for-nothing island country like this for investigation, I’d have him in the lab and continue the research to upgrade him.”

Chuuya listened in silence. His expression was not looking at something in front of him at that moment. What he was seeing was some scenes of the past.

Doctor Shelley cleared her throat like a child then continued, “The best thing about Adam is that, he is equipped with the intelligence to think and judge the situation by himself. In other words, Adam chose to sacrifice himself out of his own will, his own judgement.” Dr. Shelley smiled. “Because you are worth it. I believe in Adam. I appreciate your apology, but it’s not something you need to worry about.”

Chuuya opened his mouth, trying to say something but he couldn't put it into words. Just like a child who had forgotten his way home, he just stood there with a stunned look on his face.

Seeing Chuuya like that, Dazai giggled as if he couldn't do anything about it.

“First off, from the beginning I didn't like the idea of using Adam for such a worthless investigation.” Dr. Shelley crossed her arms, looking sullen. “The government is always like that! They send out machine investigators for missions and when they are done with it, they just blow it up together with all the secret information. Even though we could have got the best test data from interacting with different cultures from those solo missions! Just because it's for the sake of human's life, they think that they can neglect science like that?”

To Chuuya and Dazai’s surprise, Doctor Shelley ordered her subordinate for “that” and had a black tube the length of an arm brought to her.

"That's why, such an ill-natured person like me had installed a detachable sub-processor and non-volatile memory. Without telling the government.” She took out the thing inside the black tube. “In here.”

The thing inside the tube that had the length of an arm, was actually an arm.

That was Adam’s right arm, the arm that Chuuya sent flying and stuck into the ground when he was escaping from inside of the Demonic Beast Guivre.

“This is...” , a question mark appeared on Chuuya’s face. “After the incident, I searched the scene but couldn't find it anywhere. Why is it here?”

“I mean, it's rather obvious to do this, isn't it?” Dr. Shelley put her finger on her huge travel suitcase. After her vital signals were verified, the auto-lock was released.

The figure that came out from the suitcase took the arm. And he said as he was attaching it to himself, “Do you want to hear an Android joke, Chuuya-sama?”

Chuuya stood still in shock. He kept his mouth open in surprise. Finally, he took a breath slowly through that mouth. A deep breath, as deep as he could. Then his expression changed as if he was about to burst.

And he laughed, "Hahaha...!"

#bsd #storm bringer #sb spoilers #bsd spoilers #spoilers #nakahara chuuya #dazai osamu #mary wollstonecraft #bungou stray dogs

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sirenascales · 3 years

Text

-> double black [part three] 18+

-> Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai

-> Who knew getting fired from work could lead to this?

-> Content: SMUT, slight angst, violence, murder, swearing

A man is murdered and things get interesting as the investigation starts. [Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai]

2,981 words

note: no smut in this one hehe, but things are gonna get fun. enjoy!

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Final || masterlist

"Hey... are you okay?" Kenji asked me a few days later, noticing the scowl on my face and realizing that I had been tapping my nail on my desk repeatedly for the last fifteen minutes. "You seem... pissed?"

I grunted, closing my eyes and slowly taking a deep breath. "I'm okay, Kenji. Just having a bad day." The others shared looks with each other, but chose not to pry. The frown on my face never left, my fists clenched as my blood continued to boil.

Then that all went away, when I felt a gentle hand against the back of my neck. I looked over at Dazai, who had lazily rolled himself in his chair over to me. He grinned. "I could see the steam coming from your ears!"

His hand never left my neck, moving until his fingers loosely wrapped around the column of my throat. Strangely enough, my anger had completely gone away when he touched me, and it felt nice to finally breathe. "With the day I'm having..." I sighed, the whole world seemingly melting away, Dazai's thumb stroking along my jaw.

Kunikida was clearly unimpressed, the man gritting his teeth. Atsushi looked shocked, his face tinged red while Ranpo and Kenji just touched their own necks gently.

"Does she like to get choked?"

"Who knows, man."

"Hey, I know what will make you feel better," Dazai suggested and I tilted my head, waiting for him to continue. He leaned in and would have kissed me if it weren't for a book smacking right into the side of Dazai's head.

"Do that on your own time! We have a schedule!" Kunikida fumed while I quickly turned around to cover my face, simply to muffle down my obnoxious laughter.

"Oh, dude!"

"Kunikida! What was that for!"

"Public indecency!"

Dazai rubbed his head, whining from the pain while I just giggled behind my hands. Dazai almost looked betrayed at me laughing at him and I just shrugged my shoulders. "Hey, that's what you get for trying to play grab ass."

I purposely ignored Dazai's pouty face for the rest of the day, the man clearly upset that he didn't get to kiss me. I shook my head, glaring at him from across the office while threateningly pointing my pen at him.

"Work, dammit."

"I don't wanna! Bella, don't be so mean!"

I fixed him another glare before going back to my work, finishing up the final report for the last case we were on. After going through and making sure it was perfect, I saved and emailed it to the President, just as the door to the office slammed opened.

"He's gone!"

"Keiko?! What the he- Keiko, what's wrong?"

I stood up from my desk, my best friend standing before me in a frazzled state. She looked extremely distressed, tears falling down her face. I rushed to her, the woman collapsing into my arms as we both fell to our knees.

"He's gone!" she exclaimed before she started to sob into my chest. "He's gone! He's gone! He's gone!"

"Keiko..." I looked up at the others with wide eyes, them looking on with alarm. I turned back to Keiko, rubbing on her back as she continued to sob.

Taichi was killed. He was found in an alleyway with multiple stab wounds. Keiko had received a call from the police after his identity was discovered, the detectives revealing the tragic news to her.

"I'm so sorry, Keiko..." I said to her softly, sitting with her in one of the small areas of the office, separated by simple dividers. "... how the hell did this happen? We just saw him last night when he dropped you off at my place..."

Keiko had finished crying, but the terrible sadness in her eyes was a clear indication of how devastated she was. I clenched my fists, feeling my anger from earlier building up again.

"I'm going to have to make my statement," Keiko said softly, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Do you want me to go with you to the station?" I asked and she shook her head.

"No... it's okay..."

"The thing is, you are also one of the last people to see him alive," Kunikida spoke up, standing by with Dazai and Atsushi. "You'll have to give your account too..."

Sighing deeply, I absentmindedly reached under my skirt, pausing when I didn't feel my knife against my thigh where it usually was. I gritted my teeth, shaking my head to myself before I went back to rubbing on Keiko's back in an attempt to comfort her.

Soon, Keiko and I left the Agency and headed on over to the police station. We gave our accounts of the night before when we last saw Taichi, us talking separately with a different agent.

"Now you know, Mr. Kamiya was in the Port Mafia," the agent said and I nodded. "And they have quite a bit of history with your little organization."

I didn't like the condescending tone in his voice, but I kept my cool. "Of course, but none of us have anything to do with this man's murder, and you have no evidence proving otherwise."

He just rolled his eyes at me. "Well, this is all we need. You're free to go."

I nodded before quietly making my way out of the interview room. I met with Keiko, who looked like she had been crying again and I pulled her into a comforting hug. "It's okay. This will be over soon."

Later on, I found myself back at the Agency, Keiko choosing to go home, despite my protests. My head was buried in my arms, not moving as I felt someone put their hand on my head, lightly scratching my scalp.

"Looks like the police will keep on investigating Taichi's murder," Dazai said and I peeked one eye out to find him leaning against my desk. "Thing is, I'm sure the Port Mafia will also be conducting their own investigation. Ohh, this is gonna get interesting~"

"So is it better if we stay out of this, then?" I asked, sitting up in my chair. "I mean, unless we're asked... we don't have to touch this."

Dazai regarded me for a moment, a mysterious smile growing on his face before he just threw his hands up nonchalantly. "I get it, you were friends with the guy."

"Not really," I corrected him immediately. "Keiko is my friend."

"Ohhhhh," Dazai just hummed, tapping his forefinger on his chin. "Well anywho, the police are gonna have their hands full if the Port Mafia really gets involved! It wouldn't hurt to help, right?"

I hesitated, a small smile soon growing on my face as I nodded. "Sure. Let's start tomorrow."

"How about tonight instead?!" Dazai asked with a cheerful smile while I just glared at him angrily, the two of us now standing in the middle of the crime scene.

"Why do I even bother believing a word you say?" I hissed at him, attempting to kick the man but he quickly side stepped me. I gritted my teeth. "Ugh, plus it's already dark, Dazai. It's gonna be harder to find any evidence." Indeed, the only light we were getting was from the full moon up ahead, and the shitty lights above the side door of one of the buildings. "Are we even allowed to be here?"

Dazai simply nodded his head. "Of course, we were assigned to this case, afterall."

"... you told me the police were keeping it," I said, eyebrows twitching in annoyance. Was he serious?!

Dazai just smiled and threw his hands up. "Guess I was mistaken," he hummed and I sighed deeply, rubbing my temples.

"Okay so... what now?" I asked, finally looking around the crime scene. It was obviously taped off and Taichi's body was removed. All there was left was a giant stain of blood, which I now looked at with a worried face.

"Just by the nature of the crime alone, we can easily say it was a crime of passion. If this was a local gang or rival, he would have been shot, or even jumped and beaten to death. Official word is, he was stabbed over sixty times," Dazai explained, standing beside me and staring at the blood. "There is no sign of the murder weapon, no other physical evidence besides Taichi's dead body and blood. We'll have to wait for forensics to give us their final word, but I can tell... this might not be so easy to crack."

I nodded solemnly, my fists clenched tightly.

"Or... will it?"

I took in a deep breath before turning and sending Dazai a sheepish smile. "Well, we got our work cut out for us, huh."

Dazai chuckled softly. "Yeah, but that's what makes it fun."

"So Dazai," I started, crossing my arms over my chest. "I have a question."

"I may have an answer."

"Have you ever killed anyone before?"

Silence followed after my question and I turned to look at the man. His hands were in his pockets, a weird smile on his face. "I have. Quite a few."

For some reason, the answer didn't shock me as much as it probably should. "How do you sleep at night?"

More silence, before Dazai stood before me. I looked up at him, heart thudding when I saw that same dim look in his eyes. His lips curled up and he leaned in, making me hold my breath as he whispered.

"Like a baby."

My breath hitched in my throat, eyes going wide. I licked my lips nervously, nodding my head slowly. "I see..." Just... wow.

"You know, I could have gone without seeing your ugly face, Dazai."

A look of distaste grew on Dazai's face as the newcomer came sauntering up to us. He wore black, a familiar hat resting upon a familiar head of red hair. Blue eyes stared daggers into my coworker, mouth curled into a displeased snarl.

"Ah, Chuuya! It is a small world, after all," Dazai sang, the glare in his eyes not meeting the jovial tone of his voice.

Chuuya scoffed. "I thought you'd be fucking dead by now, but of course, you always love to piss me off."

"'Cause it's so much fun!"

The two men clearly didn't like each other, but that was the least of my concerns. All I could do was stare at Chuuya in shock. Of course, Taichi was one of his subordinates, he would want to find out who his killer was and get retribution. That was just how the Port Mafia worked.

I gulped, carefully trying to back away from the two. They could stand there and bicker with each other all they want. I had to get out of here before-

"Oh wait, meet my new friend!" Dazai wrapped his arm around my neck, wrestling me to his side effortlessly as I tried to break free. He knew I was trying to escape and made sure that didn't happen.

"Hey, let me go!" I hissed, not pleased with being pulled into a damn chokehold.

"Not until you meet my old friend!"

Chuuya growled. "We're not friends, damn traitor!"

Traitor? I grew confused, eyebrows pinched even as I fought against Dazai's hold. Chuuya narrowed his eyes when he finally got a good look at me.

"Hey... do I know you?"

Crap. "Uh..." I laughed sheepishly, Dazai now confused as he looked back and forth between the two of us.

"You know each other?"

"W-well..."

"We met a few months ago," Chuuya spoke up, his eyes widening in realization before his eyes narrowed and he snarled. "Knew you couldn't be trusted."

"Wait!" I exclaimed, making it out of Dazai's hold and holding my hands up to Chuuya. "I swear... I didn't even know about the ADA when we met. It was just as I said that night, I lost my job and was there to drink my pain away."

"Tch," Chuuya sounded, his eyes still narrowed. "And now you work with this traitorous bastard. Lucky you."

There was that word again.

"What do you mean by traitor?" I asked, at the same time Dazai spoke up.

"How the hell do you two know each other?"

Chuuya scoffed. "I fucked her."

I squeaked, Dazai's eyebrows raising.

"Interesting. I'm fucking her too."

I squeaked again, waving my hands wildly before either man could respond. "D-don't we have a murder to solve, huh?!"

It fell on deaf ears, the two men staring each other down, all before their eyes were on me and my trembling form.

"You know... I feel like we've been here before, Chuuya."

Said man snorted. "When you fucked my girls?"

"Like you haven't fucked mine?"

Okay, now I was confused. "Um... I don't understand..."

"Oh yeah!" Dazai exclaimed a bit too cheerfully, putting a hand on Chuuya's shoulder, earning a withering glare. "Chuuya and I go way back. Were the best of friends."

"No we weren't."

"We were partners! The best there was!"

"... tch."

Partners? What the hell did Dazai mean by partners? I looked between the two men, lips formed in a thin line. Then, the answer struck and my mouth fell open in shock. There was no fucking way... Dazai? I swallowed thickly, shaking my head for this was not the time or place to be thinking about this.

"Okay... I can only imagine just how deep this shit goes," I started, the men looking at me curiously. "But we have a murder to solve. Whatever... this," I gestured my hand between the two of them. "Is... it can wait. Y'all can make out or whatever later."

That was my attempt at breaking whatever tension there was, but I was the only one cackling when Dazai and Chuuya immediately protested.

"I will kill you!"

"That is not funny, bella!"

"Ugggh, I don't have the time for this. I should have known that the ADA would be investigating this, and that just pisses me off. You two should just stay out of my way," Chuuya said, hands in his coat pocket. "Though you... word is that you were one of the lasts who saw Taichi alive."

My heart dropped when Chuuya looked at me and I frowned. "And I told the police that I saw him when he dropped Keiko off at my apartment. There are cameras in the lobby that will show that I never left the apartment. We even ordered food in."

"Fuck. And there is no other evidence right now. No weapon, no hints of DNA. It's like the killer just vanished," Chuuya said to himself and I glanced at Dazai, seeing the amused look on his face.

"What if it was an ability user?" Dazai suggested. Chuuya gritted his teeth.

"Shut up! I don't need your help!"

"Really? Are you sure?" Dazai taunted the red head, quickly ducking when Chuuya swung his foot in a wide kick. Dazai didn't get hit, but the wall behind him took the damage, large cracks forming on the surface. I swallowed thickly. Just how strong was Chuuya?

"H-hey," I started nervously, foolishly getting between the two men before they could start a fight. "We're after the same goal, right? Why don't we just... work together?" The fierce glares I got made me shrink. "O-o-or! Or not! That's fine! Just don't fight!"

"Bella is right... fighting is so beneath me," Dazai said wistfully and I sighed deeply.

"Dazai, I'm being serious. This man was my best friend's boyfriend. I want to find his killer too."

"Just stay out of it," Chuuya growled. "This has nothing to do with either of you. The Port Mafia will handle this."

"Let's make it a race then." Both Chuuya and I were dumbfounded as we looked at Dazai, waiting for him to continue. "A competition to see who figures this out, the ADA or the Port Mafia."

"Dazai... what the hell?" I asked in disbelief, Chuuya stepped closer to him.

"What's the prize?"

Dazai smirked, raising a bandaged hand and pointing right to me. "Our bella."

My jaw dropped. "You're fucking kidding me?"

"No," Dazai answered rather seriously. "I'm not."

Chuuya is strangely quiet, his unreadable eyes now trained on me. I fidgeted under his gaze, looking away to find Dazai staring at me all the same. I shivered. I hated this; hated being part of such a stupid competition as a prize, and I hated that I fucking loved it. I screwed my eyes shut.

"Deal," Chuuya finally said and I gasped when I felt his familiar leather clad fingers cup my face, him moving my head to make me look at him. "Gotta say, I didn't expect to see you again, but I'm glad our paths have crossed a second time." I became extremely flustered and Chuuya smirked. "Tell me, Dazai. What was it like having my sloppy seconds?"

I gasped sharply with Dazai only laughing darkly, suddenly feeling his presence behind me. "Can't say it was too bad..." he answered and I just completely clocked out, breath hitching as I felt a bit embarrassed. And turned on. They knew exactly what to say to get me riled up.

"Okay, I'm leaving! It's late and I still haven't eaten dinner yet! Bye!" I was frantic trying to rush away from them as fast as I could. I didn't even turn back when Dazai called after me.

"See you tomorrow, bella!" Dazai chuckled softly, watching me disappear, hands stuffed in his pockets.

"A race? Really?" Chuuya asked incredulously, eyes piercing as he stared at his old partner.

"It will just make this all the more fun," Dazai hummed.

"You're a bastard," Chuuya scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Just stay out of my way. Taichi getting himself killed just ruined the investigation we had on him."

"Oh?" Dazai raised his eyebrows, amused. "Was he being a naughty boy?"

"Shut the fuck up, Dazai."

-End

I have this headcanon that Dazai and Chuuya definitely stole each other's girls and even shared them and had threesomes when they were partners and ya'll CANNOT tell me otherwise.

#bsd x reader #chuuya x reader #dazai x reader #chuuya smut #dazai smut #bsd smut #this case isnt gonna get too insane bc i just write a detailed investigation lmfao #im trying ok this is just lots of smut with a lil plot to make it juicy #anyway I hope you enjoy lol

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ethereal-blossom · 3 years

Text

chuuya & akutagawa

part two of this request: dazai & kunikida on a mission while their toddler gets a high fever.

chuuya word count: 723

akutagawa word count: 728

the sound of bullets were overwhelming, so overwhelming that chuuya didn’t hear his phone ringing. the port mafia executive was surrounded with a red glow and had an arrogant smirk on his face. this upcoming organisation would be dust in a few hours. yes, they were a threat big enough for the port mafia to execute them, but they could never keep up with port mafia executive nakahara chuuya and his ability: the tainted sorrow.

“good job, men” chuuya told his subordinates afterwards. he reached with one hand in his pocket. the port mafia executive did expect a few missed phone calls, yet he didn’t expect one third to be you. why did it feel like you had been desperate to reach him? suddenly, chuuya’s blood seemed to freeze and turn into ice. the numbness spread to his fingers,yet his thumb could still press on the call back button. the phone rang over once, twice, third- meanwhile your husband couldn’t help but think of the worst case scenario.

chuuya’s list of enemies only extended in his mind when he tried to call you back for the fourth time. the thought of his wife and daughter being in danger made the ice in his veins defrost and turn into boiling blood. if anyone had dared to cause his family any harm-

an explosion was caused by chuuya’s ability.

it was useless. you didn’t pick up the phone. your husband then realized you had left a few voice mails. he listened to the last one: “chuuya, damn it, i know you’re busy, but please, pick up the phone. her fever is decreasing though, but she’s asking for you.”

fever? chuuya didn’t waste any second and listened to your previous voice mails. they all explained that his daughter had a high fever.

the port mafia member had been planning to treat his subordinates with some wine after the victory. after that he would have gone to the boss and celebrated it with him.

however, plans changed. chuuya’s priority right now was his family: the beautiful woman he married and the lovely daughter they had.

chuuya felt his phone ring when he was on his way to home. he immediately picked up the phone without sparing the screen a glance. the port mafia member immediately recognized your voice. he couldn’t wait till you finished your sentence and asked: “y/n! how is she?”

you noticed the panic in your husbands voice. “chuuya, everything is okay. i called because the fever is decreasing. i’m taking care of her. where are you?”

“i’m home in five minutes. damn it! i should have checked my phone. i’m such a dumb ass.”

“funny that you think i’m married with a dumb ass. it’s not your fault, chuuya. you were working. i don’t want you to get distracted when you do that. i was just- panicking a little.”

your words didn’t make chuuya forgive himself. he stayed silent for a while, cursing at himself, and then announced he was walking to the front door. the first thing your husband did was looking for his daughter when he reached inside.

he found her in her bedroom. the eyes of his daughter were closed, but that didn’t stop chuuya from hugging his little girl. chuuya felt her forehead with his hand and stated she indeed was warmer than usual. “i’m sorry i wasn’t there, princess.”

“daddy?” her eyes flickered a little. she called his name again, only this time it was a statement.

“i’m here, my little princess. i’m here.” chuuya sat next to his daughter and put her upper body on his one. the toddler snuggled into her fathers chest and fell asleep again.

you observed the scenario that was happening in front of your eyes. although chuuya still seemed tense, the anxiety was slowly leaving his body. nevertheless the anxiety was still playing tricks with his mind. and so you walked towards him, sat beside him and stroked his hair. “such an amazing father.”

“oi, i’m not. an amazing dad would have picked up the damn phone.”

“and yet you immediately rushed home when you got the news, leaving your job waiting.” chuuya didn’t know how to respond to that. so, he turned to his daughter and took in her features- features of you and him.

two girls he cherished the most.

akutagawa went rogue during the mission, what wasn’t a surprise. the man trusted his own strength and believed that he was strong enough to accomplish this mission on his own. he didn’t need anybody. no, he only needed to prove himself. it was for this reason that akutagawa ignored the phone vibrating in his jacket. the port mafia member had no time to be scolded at for going solo.

it took akutagawa an hour to succeed and afterwards he coughed in his hand. the mission had asked more energy of him than he had expected to. akutagawa grabbed his phone out of his pocket to report to his boss, but his eyes widened when he saw that all those missed phone calls were from you. akutagawa didn’t try to show it, tried to build a wall around his feelings, yet his hand slightly started to shake. he had expected that it were other members who tried to scold him for following his own plan instead of his wife. akutagawa wanted to be prepared before he called you, so he checked the voicemails you had left behind.

his boy got high fever.

akutagawa was used to health problems, after all, he had his lungs. how big could this be? however, the stress in your voice was obvious. the port mafia member was ready to go back to work, but froze midway in his step. no, this panic of yours wasn’t how you usually reacted, not to forget his boy was only a toddler, much weaker than him.

akutagawa got a determined frown on his face and turned around, heading towards his family instead.

the port mafia member had contacted his boss along the way. he explained that the mission was fulfilled and that his family called for him. mori didn’t try to stop the man. he was all too familiar with the headstrong akutagawa.

meanwhile the anxiety clammed around akutagawa’s heart, yet he tried to keep that anxiety hidden behind a calm face. nevertheless the trained eye could see how his eyes were wider than usual and how his body was more tense.

you knew your husband was coming home and so you weren’t surprised when he stood in front of you in all of his calmness. you put your arms around akutagawa’s body. he didn’t return the hug. instead he lowered his head and let it rest on your shoulders. it were small gestures like this that made akutagawa feel comfortable into showing affection.

“where is he?” akutagawa asked. you lead him towards the bedroom. your son lied peacefully asleep in his parents bed.

“i gave him paracetamol, made sure he drank something and i’ve been checking in on him. he should be fine. i’m sorry if i made you worry.”

“it’s fine. i should be the one apologizing. i’m sorry for not picking up the phone sooner. i should have done that instead of focusing on the mission.”

you walked towards your husband and rested your head on his shoulder. “hmm, let me guess: you followed your own guts again. how could i be mad about that? that’s just one of the many reasons why i fell in love with you, silly.”

blushes appeared on your husbands cheeks and you smiled. your hand followed the port mafia members spine, making him feel recognized. “i’m going to grab the thermometer, so we can check his temperature again for when he wakes up.” you said, figuring out akutagawa wanted some alone time with his son to fully show the concern your husband must have felt.

and you were right. akutagawa stared at his son for a few seconds after you left the room. then he walked over to the bed and sat down. his hand slowly brushed his little boys face. akutagawa’s eyes widened when his son grabbed his hand and held it tight. the dads face became soft. his features finally relaxed and he lied next to his child, doing nothing except staring intensely at him.

akutagawa maybe wasn’t the best with his emotions, but he could feel love. the love he felt for his family was something he thought he could never feel. yet it was there, present in his chest.

the day that someone would hurt his family was a day feared by anyone, for akutagawa would proof how strong he was towards his enemies.

#chuuya x reader #akutagawa x reader #chuuya x you #akutagawa x you #bsd x reader #bsd #bungou stray dogs #chuuya nakahara #akutagawa ryunosuke

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linkspooky · 4 years

Text

Kunikida + Oda: Death of a Good Man

While Kunikida and Oda have never met in canon they are characters with a lot in common. They both essentially play the same role, as the moral center of their respective groups (particularly acting as a conscience for Dazai). They both share the same strengths and weaknesses. However, one lives and one dies. MORE UNDER THE CUT.

1. Relationship with Dazai

Dazai is a character who has trouble seeing himself as a person. That is, he doesn’t see himself as the same as everyone else. (His ability is titled No Longer Human, surprise, surprise). Oda says as much to Dazai, that traditional values like good or evil don’t really mean that much to him.

“Whether you’re on the side that takes lives, or the side that saves them nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander for eternity.”

...

“Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, then choose to be a good person.” - Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era

It’s not that Dazai is a sociopath, or even unfeeling, it’s just that he is so distanced from his own humanity, and from other people. He genuinely believes he can’t feel the same way as they do. Dazai even described the way he saw himself to Fyodor.

Dazai tells Fyodor that he feels like he’s sperate from everyone else. It’s like he’s the player, and everybody else is pieces on the game board. But, even though he might come up with strategies and move the pieces, he’s not really the one changing things, or affecting other people’s lives because he’s not right there in the middle of things he’s far away.

Dazai even flashes back to Oda and Gide’s final showdown when trying to explain this feeling to Fyodor. Oda his closest and only friend at the time, who he could not reach out to and save. Dazai believes he can’t touch other people, he can’t reach out and save them, because he sees himself as lacking in feelings or a heart. Which is why, Dazai relies on the people around him. Dazai attached himself to Oda when he was in the Mafia, and then again to Kunikida when he was detective agency to essentially act as his heart, his external conscience for him. That’s the relationship he shares with both of them. It’s why the first two light novels are essentially about Dazai, but narrated from the point of view of his partner at the time. Light novel one is about his partnership with Kunikida, and Light Novel 2 is about his friendship with Oda back in the dark age. The connection between them is that both Oda, and Kunikida are good, just men who have tried to understand Dazai in one way or another.

The events of both light novels even mirror each other to an extent. Entrance exam is about Dazai joining the agency, Dark Era is about Dazai leaving the mafia. Entrance exam is about Kunikida failing to understand Dazai, but learning to trust him anyway. Dark Era is about Oda being the only one who fully understands Dazai, but then not listening to him at the end of the story. They both end with a symbolic death, Oda commits double suicide with Gide, whereas Kunikida pretends to shoot Dazai in order to follow his plan.

Dazai’s a master strategist, but he’s not a leader of men, nor does he have any particular ideals he stands for. Dazai was given a position of leadership within the port mafia, and not only did he spend the entire time tormenting his closest subordinate but he didn’t care about the lives of his subordinates the way Chuuya does.

Dazai sees Kunikida as someone having the ideals he does not have, therefore doing what he cannot, and being what he cannot be to others. This is a role Oda used to serve as his one and only friend. However, while they occupy the same spot as Dazai’s most trusted person their relationships with him are very different.

Kunikida is very combative with Dazai and always fighting against him. He personally expects Dazai to be better in all aspects. He scolds him for being lazy and neglecting his work. When Dazai messes with other people or manipulates them, it’s Kunikida who is the first to get frustrated with him. Kunikida also, tends to lack a fundamental understanding of Dazai. It’s a running joke that he’s always a step behind him (he’s the last person to find out Dazai was a mafia member when everyone else already knew). The literal first thing established about their relationship in the first chapter, is that they are constantly fighting with each other. They barely make it through a dinner with Atsushi.

However, Kunikida also listens to Dazai when it’s important. It’s the other way around with Oda, Oda is someone who does fundamentally understand who Dazai really is deep down. However, at the same time Oda doesn’t really try to exert any influence over Dazai until the very end of his life. Their relationship was defined by being distant to one another, and not asking questions.

The reason why Ango and I were able to be by his side was that we understood the solitude that surrounded him, and we never stepped inside it no matter how close we stood.

But in that moment, I kind of regretted not stepping in and invading that solitude.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era.

Him, Ango and Dazai could only keep meeting as the Buraiha at the Lupin bar if they pretended to not know anything about what each other did outside of the bar. They’re different in one main aspect, Kunikida fights Dazai, and Oda doesn’t start fighting until it’s almost far too late.

2. Living and Dying for One’s Ideals

One more direct parallel between the two is that Kunikida and Oda are both characters who strive to live up to the ideal they find in a book. Literally. Kunikida obsessively writes out his ideals in his notebook where he has his whole future planned out.

What are ideals? There are innumerable answers to that question. One could say it’s merely a term, or an idea, or perhaps even the soruce of all meaning. But if you ask me, the answer is obvious. It’s the word written on the cover of my notebook. My notebook has all the answers. It is my creed, my master, and a prophet that guides me. At times, it can either be a weapon ro a solution. Ideals. Everything I am is written in this notebook which I always carry with me. My entire future lies within it - Osamu Dazai’s Entrance Exam

Oda picked up a book and loved it so much he wanted to write the ending for himself.

After worrying about it for so long, I came to one conclusion. “Then you write what happens next.” I decided to write about it myself. I would become a novelist, and write a story about why the man stopped killing. But to become a novelist, I needed to sincerely know what it meant to live. So, I stopped killing. - Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era.

Kunikida and Oda are both characters who find their will to live for the future within the pages of a book. Which makes sense as both characters struggle with lofty ideals and a harsh reality. Oda and Kunikida are characters written about the struggle to be a good man, in a world that is not good. To hold ideals, in a world that is not ideal. This once again ties back to what Dazai said to Fyodor, God isn’t perfect harmony, he’s illogical and absurd.

The world isn’t ideal and orderly. It’s extremely, extremely messy. Kunikida and Oda are both characters who strive to be better, and want the world to be better and because of that they fall into conflict. However, Oda lost his fight, and Kunikida is still fighting. Part of why Dazai got so attached to Kunikida is also because he saw Oda’s ideals within Kunikida, and knew that carrying those ideals could crush him so easily.

“Justice is a weapon. It can be used to harm, but it cannot protect and save others.” -Osamu Dazai’s Entrance Exams

The meanings of Dazai’s words are clear when you look at them in the context of what he learned after losing Oda. Oda decided to throw his life away to avenge the children after Gide. He achieved justice then. However, nobody was saved. The children were already dead. Oda himself wasn’t saved. Dazai lost his only friend.

“Something?” I looked at Dazai. “There isn’t anything, Dazai. It’s all over. Everything. Whatever else happens now is meaningless - just like I’m about to do. AM I wrong?” “Odasaku...” Dazai said softly. “Forgive me for the absurd wording but - don’t go. Find something to rely on. Expect good things to happen from here on out. There’s gotta be soemthing...”

[...]

Oda’s march against Gide isn’t just tragic, it’s a deliberate choice. It was a suiide. He’s given several oppurtunities to just walk away, or wait for something else to give him a reason to live and he doesn’t. His final actions hurt more than they helped. Yes, he did save Dazai in a way by throwing his life away, but Dazai also lost the person who could understand him. Oda could have lived. He could have done more if he had lived. Dazai even says so in dead apple, saving people is the more beautiful path, but you have to be alive to see that beauty.

This is also why Kunikida and Oda have such a connection to Dazai. Underneath their struggles to be a good man they are both constantly dealing with suicidal feelings.

Kunikida is far more fragile than he lets on. Part of the reason he attaches himself to ideals rather than people, is because caring about people hurts, and he is so afraid of failing the people in his life (the same way Oda eventually failed to protect the children) that he can’t admit the depth to which he cares about them.

Kunikida struggles to save everyone in front of him, but that’s also because Kunikida is internally someone who is very fragile. He can’t handle the loss, especially losing those he is close to. When Atsushi is hospitalized after his first fight with Akutagawa, he pretends to be unconcerned. When Atsushi wants to save Kyoka, Kunikida tries to persuade him to not save her. Oda and Kunikida are both avoidant characters, Oda avoided ever stepping inside of Dazai’s loneliness, and Kunikida avoids getting close to others because they fear the people they cannot save. Kunikida cares so much and so deeply, that he’s completely shattered when he fails someone.

Every strategy by the detective agency’s enemies relies on crushing Kunikida because he’s the easiest target. When he fails like this he wants to give up. Kunikida and Oda have this dark underside to their actions where they’re fighting continually to be better, but when they fail, they long to throw their lives away and give up the struggle.

Part of the reason they’re attracted to Dazai is deep down Kunikida and Oda both have the same suicidal feelings. Kunikida knows that his ideals will never live up to the reality.

However, secretly he longs to fail so he won’t have to struggle against it anymore.

“I let go of Dazai. I understand what he’s aying. Perhaps righteousness isn’t something you seek in others, but something you search for inside of yourself. Even then... Miss Sasaki is dead, and so is Rokuzo. All I’ve found in my search for righteousness within myself is a sense of hopelessness.”

Osamu Dazai’s Entrance Exam

The question is can you continue to live? Even if you fail over and over again to do better. Even if the things you try to protect all die. Kunikida’s arc so far mirrors Oda’s. The things he told himself he would protect, he failed to. The promises he made, he breaks. He said he was never going to watch a child die in front of him, and then it happens.

He said he was never going to fail to protect the agency again, but then the agency became the victims of the hunting dogs, and Kunikida had to go completely on the run. He said he was going to throw himself away in a big bang against the hunting dogs to show his ideals would never fail, and instead.

He even loses his ideals and his ability to write in the notebook. So, what is the difference between Kunikida and Oda that allows Kunikida to keep struggling where Oda did not. I think it’s not really a difference between them, so much as it’s a difference between Dazai. Dazai’s grown since then and realized his mistakes with Oda, and because of that doesn’t stay at a comfortable distance from Kunikida.

Dazai has grown enough between then and now he’s able to reach people who feel similiarly to him. He understood the suicidal feelings of both Kunikida, and Oda, but he didn’t reach out to Oda until it was too late. However, Dazai has grown to the point where he not only understands Kunikida’s struggle and sympathizes with him, but he’s also able to say the words he couldn’t say to Oda until it was too late.

There’s no such thing as a point of no return. There is no point where everything is already over. Even if you fail to protect someone, even if you fail to protect everyone.

"Anything I would never want to lose will be lost. It is given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it. There's nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging life of suffering."

Dazai is still the same person that said this. Deep down that’s what Kunikida and Oda both fear, that after Oda failed the orphans, that after Kunikida could not save an innocent child in front of them, that no matter how hard they fought all of their attempts to protect someone would fail that way. At which point their fighting seemed to become meaningless.

Dazai knowing those feelings has moved past that lament. He still believes that the struggle may be meaningless, but he reassures them that they can keep fighting anyway.

If there’s no great glorious ideal to live for, if nothing we do matters, than all that matters is what we do. The world isn’t good, the world will never be as good as we want it to be, yet Kunikida can still strive to be good in the face of that.

#dazai osamu #kunikida doppo #oda sakunosuke #odasaku #bungou stray dogs #bsd meta #bungou stray dogs meta #bungou stray dogs theory #bungou stray dogs analysis

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lady-tortilla-chip · 3 years

Note

Happy FFWF! What is the most visceral/evocative scene you’ve ever written? Feel free to share snippets and talk about the headspace you were in when you wrote it!

Hello sweetie!! Happy ffwf!!!

Oh gosh, considering how much I’ve written it’s a bit difficult to narrow down the list of favorite scenes I’ve gotten down. So I’ll share a couple with you that still just…hit me.

From “A Stray Chibi” which is about two years old now(?) and though it’s not the whole scene (because its a bit long) it is the most important part. I’m not sure I can adequately articulate what kind of a headspace I was in when I wrote this scene because it wasn’t supposed to exist. It just…came out of me.

He felt numb. That was why he had the bottle in one hand and the kitchen knife in his other. That was why he was sitting on his kitchen floor, back against the cabinets contemplating death. Wondering if perhaps he'd see red and blue again if he were to succumb to this desire to die.

It was as he looked down at the blade in his hand that he noticed a flicker of orange. Movement. A little bell rang and it took a moment for Dazai to realize the orange mass was Chibi.

The cat.

It's blue eyes watched him intently, tail flicking, nose twitching slightly in curiosity. He was a blur to Dazai but for some odd reason he got the sense that somehow the cat understood. Understood his brokenness. Understood why Dazai was crying and why he may just bleed out in front of him.

Chibi’s presence was strange because it was so reminiscent of his. So much so that when the cat who hadn't previously come near him since Dazai brought him home, came closer and settled itself against his thigh, looking up at him with his blurry little cat face, blue eyes a stark contrast to the orange of his fur, he didn’t hesitate to let the knife slide from his fingers. Hand raised to touch the top of the feline’s head who responded in kind, rubbing back into his hand.

Soft rumbles emanated from the orange mass in front of him.

Chibi was purring.

Dazai was grieving.

But it seemed he wasn't going to die today.

Another scene which hits me a certain way is from a fic I’ve yet to post for a multitude of reasons. Again the subject matter is not the happiest (tho unlike “A Stray Chibi” this fic will end well). But the entire fic itself is important to me because it features the main character finding not only a reason to live — but an appreciation for it. The chosen scene I’m sharing a snippet for though if the opening and something I wrote in a matter of minutes because of how clearly I saw it in my head.

Chuuya didn’t say anything. He never did. Simply slipped the small blade from Dazai’s fingers and set it aside for later cleansing. Then he bent over the tub to examine the damage Dazai had done to himself. Eyes focused on the trails of blood which slowly slid down his forearm.

There was nothing to glean from the impassive quality of Chuuya’s expression but Dazai could tell what was running through his head anyway. His thoughts were always the same after all, he’d just gotten better at hiding them.

After looking over the cuts he stood to grab bandages which he then wrapped around the wounds in silence. He was always silent when blood was actively exiting Dazai’s body as though in order to keep himself completely calm he needed to focus on the injuries first.

Once he’d completed the task of cleaning then wrapping Dazai’s wrists, Chuuya held his arm up to press his lips to the freshly wrapped bandages.That had become part of the routine when Dazai once asked him, “Aren’t you going to kiss it better?” to which Chuuya actually obliged without much fuss and from then on simply continued to do.

It didn’t matter where the harm was, if he’d attempted to lay himself out on the bed with pills in his mouth—Chuuya would drop a kiss to the corner of his lips—or attempted to hang himself—a kiss to the strip of skin on his neck which was rubbed and irritated—or, cut himself—a kiss pressed to his bandaged wrists.

Once he’d kissed both arms, Chuuya stood, pulling Dazai up with him. The brunet followed each movement with practiced ease and stepped out of the tub where he’d previously been seated.

Walking with Chuuya they went over to the bed, Chuuya stopping short of actually climbing onto it to turn and begin stripping Dazai of his topmost layers. The jacket slipped off his shoulders, the blazer, the white button up, even his slacks. Dazai smirked and broke the silence with, “That eager to get me naked huh, chibi?”

Chuuya rolled his eyes with a scoff, “Not a chance, bastard,” before shoving clothes to sleep in against Dazai’s chest. As he went about dressing himself in the more comfortable attire, Chuuya stepped out to put his work clothes in with the other dirty laundry. Where exactly that was, Dazai wasn’t quite certain; he didn’t exactly do the laundry often. (Ever.) He supposed perhaps he should learn seeing as this wasn’t even his apartment.

When Chuuya returned Dazai was already laid out, belly down upon the mattress, limbs sprawled haphazardly over the covers. The blankets weren’t necessary due to the approaching summer and the heat which already permeated their nights.

Chuuya wasted no time in joining him, crawling up to lay on his own stomach beside the brunet, face turned towards Dazai’s own. Blue eyes meeting brown, flicking between them before he asked quietly, “Do you actually want to die?”

And this one which has a quite a lot less emotional meaning to me but I can just see so clearly is this one from an excerpt I shared a while ago. My thought at the time was just, “how do i express the sheer intensity of Zuko’s feelings for Aang?” And this is what came of it.

This? This feeling which sparked light between his fingers and built an endless heat in his core? It’s ruin.

Ruin like a windstorm in the flatlands of the Earth Kingdom. Like the frosting air of the furthest south. Like swirling clouds dancing with light and rumbling with over bearing sounds and exhilarating power.

It’s ruin in such an incredible, beautiful, powerful way and Zuko is easily — willingly felled by it. Readily moved to its rhythm. It’s force.

He thinks it should be impossible that the embodiment of it all is just so small. Small enough to grip in his hands and destroy without thought. But strong enough to never let such a thing occur — at least, not at Zuko’s hand.

#Tw: self harm #tw: suicidal ideation #ffwf #thank you for the ask!!!#ask #answered #zukaang #Soukoku #my fics #my writing #There are more but I decided to leave it there lol #ATLA #BSD

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xo-cuteplosion-xo · 3 years

Text

The Ending of The Everlasting Sun.

Soukoku angst: will have 2 parts, one is Chuuya pov another is Dazai pov (Dazai is part 1 aka this piece. I'll start chuuya's tomorrow)

I’ll do a version for Dazai after (not pov but version so Chuuya can have the dose of Dazai’s pain T_T).

Warnings: Death, gore, violence, angst with just more angst. (idk if i consider dazai ooc but towards the end is mostly how i feel the situation would happen, so kinda ooc)

TBH, I don't know why I wrote this but hey I love feeding peeps and myself angst so, here you go.

The Ending of The Everlasting Sun. | A Soukoku Angst one-shot |

words: 4264

Dazai’s pov- (it swaps between third and first. I know my writing style is weird af)

The sun, a forever gleaming light in life. They say even in death, the sun won’t fade from your view. For light, something that brings reason to a life so pitched in black is everlasting. There is a place that resides within a person the sun that will never leave. Like the memories that one left behind shall forever hold. Memories will not fade, even as the deceased are placed within mounds of dirt, their body left to neatly decompose.

They say it is natural to feel your heart so heavy. To feel so pained when death washes over. Death can change a human, they say, death is rebirth, something shall always come from it. In some ways, Dazai knew the truth of such words. For he’s experienced the death of his light. At least he had thought the brunette, who’d stuck by his suicidal tendencies, his cruel ways, he thought that man had been the light. He had changed, he’d moved on into the light of this world. His heart may still be shadowed in the darkness the mafia left. The memories of those he left may never leave, but he was in the light. He was the light for another now. Still, dark himself, he’d help lead his news pupil to the light. He repeated this so often, yet why, why did his mind travel back to those days, the days when he was alongside that small ginger boy? The boy with anger issues could be heard a mile away, was he important? Why must he feel as if he left behind something important when he’d listened to a friend's dying wish? Surely he was better off now? He felt better, life wasn’t as black or as unlit as it had once been. So why? Why was it always that ginger that popped into his head on those restless nights? He worried so much if he was okay. If he was out there using that uncontrollable side without him. Ever since he left, he’d worried that ginger would do something as stupid as that. So maybe, just maybe, this world had blessed him with two lights. A light to change, that light had left him to save him. Then the second light, the light that showed him he could love and be loved. This world could take both lights to make such a realization, and eventually, this world, so cruel and dark would. Not by fate, but by the hand of an enemy who sought out Dazai’s weakness.

I stood beneath pelting rain, my mind held within it one thought, where was he? Never had the small boy I'd fallen for in my early teens missed a chance to torment me as I had tormented him. Never had he let the phone, to which we still held each other's numbers unblocked, reach the full number of rings before the voicemail kicked in. I had never felt this before. Nor had I the courage to admit such a thing. For feelings were only a danger to men like myself. I am undoubtedly cruel. Even now, in my early twenties, I stand beneath the rain alone. The mistakes of my past hanging over me for somebody to eventually discover. The past profession I had tried to hide and had hidden well for many years was creeping to my heels. The man whom I'd sought help from was gone, his final words my reason to be in the light. If neither side means anything, he told me to help the defenseless, to help the orphans. That is what I did. I left behind the ginger-haired boy whom, I now say with hesitance, I loved. It is a fine point that I was able to decline such things until after I left the mafia, for otherwise, I may have tried to do good whilst in the mafia, so I could stay with my final light within my life. Many have shed their light on me. The orphan I took in has shocked me many times, reading me in a way I thought only Oda, my extinguished light, could. He knew I was mourning that past friend when he found me at his grave. He continues to shock me to this day, the only one who can occasionally see past the mask I've worn since I was 14, since Mori found me. Kunikida has taught me responsibility and morals. There is still a bottle of things I shall never change. Some people can’t change. My mind prevents me from collecting such information about being human. My ability says it all, does it not? It is a perfect description of myself. The intelligence I share with Dostoevsky is merely one of the many things that keep me behind the wall of change. I may do things for another reason, but I am still a shadow over the people around me. I curse them all, I have brought heavy burdens onto the agency, I harm all of those around me. Love is a feeling I'm incapable of. At least, I can not recognize true love, only conclude that is what this pain is. It is a pain like no other, it is not physical, but no sense of being can push away the tangent throb of every beat. It is my mind, and the way I was brought up so young, that initially warped me beyond repair. That is why I am here, running in the rain despite my coworkers protesting to stop me.

Dazai understood the trap he was headed for, but he knew the trap would result in a fatality either way. If it was his death that waited for him, then he was alright with that. If it was painless, and he died a quick death before his mouth could run to say final bidding words to Chuuya, then he’d die. If this taunt was to break him, if he were to be late, he would drop to his knees and beg his old friend, who lay watching over him, to be forgiven for his actions tonight. If some awful being really did oversee this world, let it give Dazai one moment of peace. Let him have one good light stay until he is gone. He couldn’t do it again, the pain of holding a bloodied body within his arms, it would be hell. He knew not of true mourning, the pain of losing the one, who in a storybook, could be considered a soulmate. He knew it, others knew it, so many people knew the way he stared at Chuuya was not a friendly matter. There was lust within his soft chocolate hues, a hidden cave behind closed doors. Secret thoughts hidden in his mind. The things he wished he could have done before he left, the way he wanted to fix things, to regain what he had lost by leaving the mafia.

With every soft patter, Dazai flew between streets and yards. With every step, he grew closer and closer. With every new step, he felt his heart sink. For the area around was brittle and frail. The ground was crushed and indented. Some buildings lay in tattered pieces. Holes the size of beds lay stretched in the buildings and grass. The worst began to form in his head as his legs picked up into a pace he thought he could never take into. His lungs burned with the inhaled drips of water that turned to flames within his lungs. He pushed past the pain, the burn, the tired flail of limbs. His legs grew numb, but he refused to stop until his arms were flying open doors to a building that looked so horribly damaged.

As if I were the show that night, I could remember the lights. My lungs felt like fire, and my legs were ready to buckle beneath my frail body. I had not eaten a proper meal for weeks, my pockets empty from money spent to cover the scars I had littered my body with. The night is a haze within my mind. An unwilling nightmare I wish to set aside and to never look at again. A night I wish could be rewritten. It was a night that even I had thought the same way as Destoveski. My mind was no longer set right, that side of me to which was feared, had ripped from its confines and torn through to confine me to my own mind. I had truly wanted to tear a sheet from the book spoken about so much in this little town of Yokohama. If it meant my lights could come back and this world could change, then I would, I would do it without a blink. I’d make myself the villain to free my light. I would do it for the right reasons. Yet, I could never ruin the lights of others. There would be too many sacrifices to do such a thing at that moment. To this day, I curse myself for thinking like that man, thinking about such things would make me like him. Dostoevsky was no man I wanted to be.

The light pulsed for a moment before illuminating the room in a sharp glow of white. Dazai stood blinded before the room came into focus, the empty space warm in comparison to the pelting rain. For a moment, the world had paused, allowing his mind to make a sharp halt and think. Though his thoughts were not something he wished to hear. The thoughts inside his head screamed an equal verse to the night he’d lost Oda. He had no more time to pause, as soon as he’d adjusted to the blaring lights, he was scanning the room, finding the spots of blood, the corpses littered on the ground. Then, he was running against his will again. The next thing he knew, he was diving forward too quickly brush against the ginger, who’d consumed his thoughts since they reunited all that time ago.

The first thoughts I had when I felt the cloth of his jacket, the same one I had sown hat-rack into when we were 15, were thoughts of panic. I was always the type of man who wore a mask, but that mask only masked my depression. I yearned for death, I lived to be human, and that feeling you have right as you fall victim to death may be my only chance at life. My co-workers were never worried about me. At first, I had shocked them. I remember the way Kunikida halted with his trust, how on my first job he watched me with a hawk's eye. Never once did I not feel the burning gaze of his judgment. I never blamed him, I was a man with an erased past. There was nothing to tell whether I was good or evil. The day I entered the agency, I would have said I was that darker gray that wisps on the side of black. Today, I would tell you I wanted to be the light, to be good, but I am far from it. It shall always be my nature to look up into another and dive within their soul. My hands are skilled in ways of torture. I could shoot down an enemy with my eyes closed. These pieces of me still exist, even though I had locked them to the confine of my mind, a faraway nightmare that haunted me. The faces of the victims who plead because they had family, haunt me. It’s not remorse I feel, it’s a haunting reminder that I shall never see that friend again. When I die, I shall not meet him in the afterlife, if there is one at all. I like to believe that one can look up and think there is such a place. These thoughts, wishes, all suddenly reappeared the moment his body fell to the floor. Yet, even coated in his own blood, his breathing so unsteady I feared he was only a few breaths from death, he remained beautiful. How could I, a genius strategist with an inhumane IQ, let this happen? Why had I not called him, this ginger, ocean-eyed slug? Chuuya, he’d always be those names to me. I still wonder why we call each other such things, but it makes us both feel alive. With him, I could act like a child, as I never had a true chance to be a child. Even now, if I could muster up the courage as I write, I'd twist the narrative so it looked as if I did not care. If I did that, I would dishonor the words we had shared that night.

Dazai rushed over the pavement to grab hold of Chuuya. His hands sliding over the boy's body to pull him over his lap. His eyes are a sea of worry and panic. One of his hands grabbed the boy’s wrist lightly, his pulse was so slow, his eyes were already slowly dropping, but Dazai stayed confident. “Hey Chibi, you’re an idiot.”

The frail form of the boy beneath him cracked a small smile. “You’re the idiot you- his body racked itself with a spurt of coughs, his lips dripping crimson to join the stains on his perfectly pale skin.- d-damn mackerel.”

Dazai dropped the boy's wrist with a chuckle, pressing his hand to the boy's lips. “Yeah, I know Chibi, I know. - The ginger's eyes began to flutter shut.- No Chibi, your eyes have to stay open. Look, I've got people coming to fix you up. So just try to keep yourself awake.” Dazai’s hand moved to cup the other's cheek. “You’ll be okay.”

Chuuya’s breath staggered a wheeze interrupting the shallow breaths he’d been going through. “I’m dying, aren't I?”

Dazai shook his head, feeling his chest sting with the familiar pain of grief. As if somebody took a microscope over the feeling, it continued to grow. By now, he was sure the pain exceeded the total amount of grief he’d gone through with Oda’s passing. “No Chibi, you’re not… you're not dying.” He paused in that sentence looking down at Chuuya, who laughed dryly.

“So fucking optimistic.” They sat in silence, and Chuuya's eyes fixed on Dazai. Though it was unnoticed by Dazai, his clouded tired eyes were on his lips. He was taking into memory the parts of wishes he’d never get. Every passing second, Chuuya felt his eyes threaten to drip shut. He was trying to listen to Dazai, but his eyes were bricks; sleep a melody that sang to him. With the fear of never waking up again, Chuuya lifted his hand from his side to reach Dazai’s cheek, his blood leaving a mark. “Hey, Dazai.” His voice lacked anything but sincerity.

“No Chuuya. No, you’re okay! Just a few more minutes and Yosano will be here! Fuck, just stop moving, keep your eyes open, keep breathing because you’re alright.” Chuuya had never seen Dazai act like this before. So as Dazai’s hand warmly wrapped around his, his head pressing into the cold touch of Chuuya’s, words were spoken.

“Dazai, I. Never. H-hated… you. I. lov-” before those words could finish, his body was shaking. Tears were forming, he was still conscious and very much alive, but his entire system of organs and cells were rejecting him. The use of corruption had been at its limit long before Dazai had touched him. Before his ability had been canceled out, he was beyond death. The way he coughed his hands, flailing out to grab Dazai’s shirt and press their bodies together, made even Dazai emotional. Dazai managed to still the boy's movements. His eyes half-open as he tried to hold onto whatever string was left. “Lo-” this time he was cut off by Dazai’s hand. His head shaking, hearing Chuuya speak would make this far too real.

He wasn’t ready to let him go. For the first time, he wanted to be far from death, far from the pain and suffering of humankind. So as Chuuya smiled and looked to the ceiling, his hand continued to stroke Dazai’s cheek. A reminder he was still alive.

That moment ended all too quickly when Chuuya took a final staggered breath and looked to Dazai. “Loved you.” He finished his sentence before his eyes dropped shut. His hand slipped into a limp state within Dazai’s hold.

It took the brunette no time to jump to compressions. He continuously screamed. A voice that had never once mourned, or shed a tear, now sat in a contorted expression between agony and doubt. His mind was static, for the first time nothing clear could form within his head. He shrieked out for Chuuya. Open your eyes, he had chanted and begged before he no longer had the strength to continue. He simply fell on top of Chuuya, his ear to his chest praying to hear a soft thud. Three minutes passed before his body, devoid of any, and everything was yanked away. Had he been shown a mirror, one would not have recognized Dazai. His clothes were bloodied, his hair disheveled and wet from the rain he’d run in only a handful of minutes ago.

Dazai sat numbly as his co-workers looked around trying to find if there was any danger left. When the scene was clear and Yosano made the final statement, the world truly crumbled. Still, despite having started CPR and rescue breaths, despite having felt the cooling touch of his skin, Dazai had held onto the hope that Yosano would fix this. He watched as she put on a work face. Her heels clicked across the ground as she walked over to Dazai with a doctor's approach, not a friend's approach. She bent before Dazai and began to speak. “Dazai, I need you to focus your eyes on me, alright?” Dazai could read her mind like an open book. His mind, in his numb state, had returned to his 17-year-old self. Devoid of any real feeling, bent on causing pain and suffering. He tilted his head like that child-self would in this situation. For once, he genuinely felt human. “I understand you were close to Nakahara-san. You were also here at the scene. It’s with much regret-” before she could finish, Dazai’s eyes grew cold and clouded, his lips a snarl as he shoved her.

“He’s okay! Chuuya is okay, he’ll wake up! He always does, even when I have to change things in a second advance because I fucked up. He's okay! We’re soukoku, double black. We can’t be put down. We’re partners, we need each other." even Yosano froze at the sudden outburst. The way Dazai cried without realizing the tears were falling. The way he tried to look happy as if he hadn’t watched Chuuya die within his arms. “Right… he’s okay right?” Dazai hardly knew what he was saying, his head foggy, his mind trying to stay collected.

If one could compare him to anything, one would say that moment he'd looked like a child, no older than fourteen, who’d watched a death before their eyes. Yosano collected herself before shaking her head. She decided to take the approach she’d have with a child instead of an adult. For in this moment, Dazai was experiencing what one could call his first-ever truly emotional loss. This was the first time his mind was catching up with him. “Dazai, Chuuya cared very much for you. You know that right?”

Dazai seemed to calm slightly at the thought as he focused on Yosano. “Yeah, he loved me… he said he loved me.” Suddenly, the situation became worse than she’d thought.

“Mhm, and you loved him too?” Dazai took his time to slowly nod before gulping and shrinking down.

“And now… he’s not coming home. No more loud, annoying comments. No more nights at the bar…” Dazai’s voice choked before the sounds of more footsteps followed in.

A high-pitched female voice screamed in a shrieking roar. “Where is he!” Dazai knew that voice. Kouyo, his Ane-san. At least, at one point she’d been his Ane-san. But his eyes stopped looking at Yosano and instead took a glimpse at Chuuya, whose corpse still lay there.

Once more, Dazai’s emotions took control, and he placed his hands over his eyes and shut himself away. Yosano swore under her breath and stood up. “Which one is he?” Yosano stood up rather angrily. She disliked her conversations being so rudely interrupted, even if it were somebody she had a small connection with.

“Chuuya…” the red-haired female stormed over before spotting Dazai first. His body cradled in like a child. A position she’d never seen him in. Her heart could only lurch to the worst. Hesitantly, she looked off to the side and saw it. The bloodied corpse. She spent no more time looking, she couldn’t.

She shoved Yosano away from Dazai, a boy she had once helped to look after and almost raise. Though she resented the boy for abandoning his role as an executive, she knew how much the pair had been connected. So she’d be a mother or older sister for a bit. Something Dazai had never seemed to have. “Dazai, it’s Kouyo, can you look at me? I just wanna make sure you’re alright.”

Dazai peeked from his arms, sniffing in his delirious state as he lunged towards her. Not in a hostile way, but an embrace. Something he never thought he’d need. He felt so human, so alive, but at the same time, he felt so dead inside. He felt as if his life had been torn and replaced within seconds. This feeling he couldn’t place a name on. “I was too late… I couldn’t, and now he’s and I… it’s all my-'' Kouyo was quick to shut him down, muffling her own sobs as she rocked Dazai in her arms.

“Hush child, these things happen. The fault is never that you could not make it in time. The fault lies within the bastard who did this. He always took extremes to protect you, Dazai. So hush now, let yourself grieve.” There was a slight pause as the agency starred in shock. This woman, who most of them knew as a vengeful woman with no remorse, sat cradling a grown man from an opposing organization as if he were her child, no more like an older sister cradling a younger brother. “Dazai, I won’t criticize your reaction, I've seen it many times in the mafia. Little children who witness death at such a young age think they are immune to it. They find another blame or they say they are monsters. You were 14 when Mori took you in. You never had somebody to teach you to grieve. You never needed to, not until now. So listen to me child, you’re going to let it all out, the years of pain and suffering, the years of grief for lost friends, even I have cried in my life. Nobody is immune to pain, some of us just think we are.” As Kouyo spoke, she noted Dazai’s breathing reached a slowing point. He was fast asleep before she finished her words. Her touch was gentle as she brushed a lock of his hair behind his ears.

Next, she walked over to Chuuya and hung her head, murmuring words of mourning. She walked off quickly, but came back moments later with his hat. “He’d want somebody to have it.” Yosano stood beside Kouyo, who choked back her own tears.

“I think it should go to Dazai. He always mocked his hats, even though he loved seeing Chuuya in them. They really were meant for each other. It’s unfortunate such a great pair ended up… in a life like this. Perhaps they will be reborn in an era where they are nothing but students who fall in love. I like to think there is always a second chance for lives that end too short.”

With a nod, they both looked to Dazai, who looked at peace sleeping on the ground.

When I woke up that day after, I could hardly remember anything. I had lost myself completely to the side that was human. I truly did try to live on, but it was difficult. No matter where I looked, I could see his laugh, I hated it. The pain that constantly wrapped around me. Hence, why I sit here with a pen. I never took myself to write my thoughts down. Oda had once ruminated about being a reader, he died before he ever could. I miss them both. I say that, but when I look down at the tear-stained paper, so many of them were for Chuuya. A love I never got to kiss or truly love. Today, I will not wake up. I no longer care about things like making my death overly complex and comfortable. I shall go to sleep with Chuuya’s hat at my side. I shall die with him at my side. That is how it should have been. Chuuya should have lived that night. I shall never know what sparked him to use corruption without me there. All I know is the worst person in the world, Destovesky, who now lay in a ditch from my own pistol, threatened the ginger to such an extent he felt the need to use it. In a way, I have solved several problems with one action. I killed the criminal, and I'm killing the single person whose blood runs more mafia black than any other.

Tag list If you want to be added when I upload fics/HC etc., just shoot me an ask: @jadegreenimmortality

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chuuyasnumber1simp · 3 years

Text

Born of Lies but Learning to Love- Part 3

previous part part one

Warnings: Suicide, Character Death, General Angst but not as bad as you think i promise

Word Count: 2233

“I want you to kill Chuuya,”

The words from the man you hated most in your life reverberated through your head, chilling you to the bone. God, you wished this was some sort of sick joke- he did those often.

“I’ve watched your progress, I’ve watched you grow. I know you’re capable of doing it. I know you’ve formed some sort of attachment to him, and as much as I believe Chuuya can and has done great things, I do believe you can do better. The first step is ridding yourself of your attachment to him, and the best way to do that is to kill him with your own two hands,”

“Chuuya,” Mori turned to the redhead beside him. “This is no offense to your abilities, but I need to think about what’s best for the Port Mafia. Sacrifices must be made for the greater good,”

Chuuya was livid. The ground cracked under the increased gravity, a red aura glowing around him.

For once, you thanked your ‘training’, because currently, your face remained expressionless, while you were spiraling inside.

What were you supposed to do? The consequences of disobeying Mori were steep, he did horrors worse than death. The scars that littered your body were a testament to that. But Chuuya…

What did you feel for Chuuya?

You’d never liked anyone romantically before, it was never even a thought. You didn’t really know how to categorize your feelings, they were just there.

And you let them be, because they were alienated from you, and you didn’t know what to do with them. You observed them from a distance, letting them unfold.

He was so comforting, never demanded you to do anything you didn’t want to. He was a constant you needed in your life, a comfort.

Though, you didn’t quite know in which way,

You loved him.

Maybe, platonically, maybe romantically,

But you loved Chuuya Nakahara.

You weren’t sure how he felt about you, but with him you were happy. So you knew, what you had to do would be the most painful thing you would ever do.

Chuuya was yelling obscenities to Mori. You chuckled at this, you would miss the way he was hard on the outside, soft on the inside.

Stepping forward, standing next to him, you smiled lightly, not enough to be noticed.

Goodbye, Chuuya.

CHUUYA POV:

He barely noticed you stepping up next to him, and he wished he noticed the glint of metal in your hand.

Time seemed to slow from that point on, and to say his heart stopped was an understatement.

A small knife glinted in your hand, and in one swift motion, you drew it across your throat.

He grabbed your wrist, flinging the knife somewhere in the room. Your body crumpled to the floor, already failing from the amount of blood loss. He knelt down, clutching you close to his chest.

“No, no no no no,” he whispered, looking around frantically for someone, something, to help.

“Hey,” you whispered hoarsely, voice box barely working from the cut.

Gently cupping his face with your hand, you traced the outline of his face, fingertips already growing cold.

“Could you take off your gloves? I want to feel you before I go,”

“You’re not going to go, we’ll get Yosano and--”

“Chuuya,”

Tears were streaming down his face now, blending with the blood you accidentally spread on his.

“It has to be this way. Mori isn’t going to let both of us leave this room unless one of us is in a body bag. Thank you for allowing me to be happy. I have a favorite food now. It’s popcorn,”

He chuckled, not wanting the last sight you see of him be that of sadness.

“Promise me you’ll finish When Calls the Heart. One of us needs to know if Jack finally confesses to Mrs. Thatcher,”

Chuuya watched as Mori left the room, most likely aware the once the last breath left your lips, there would be no stopping Chuuya’s Corruption.

“What am I going to do when you’re gone?” His piercing blue eyes gazed into yours, conveying so much sadness, trying so hard to figure out why it had to be you, and not him.

“I’ll never truly leave you, Chuuya. I’ll always be with you, in your heart. You care so deeply, and while many would frown upon that, seeing as your a member of the mafia, I’ve always loved that about you. Please know that I’m doing this because I want you to live on, make sure nobody suffers like I did, okay?”

He wrapped his pinky finger around yours, sobbing quietly. “I promise. I’m going to miss you so much, Y/N,”

He could see the light slowly leaving your eyes, your arm slumping to the ground.

“I’ll see you again someday, Chuuya Nakahara,”

With that, your chest stopped moving, your eyes no longer filled with any life at all. You were limp in his arms, gone.

He screamed, clutching your bloody form to his allowing corruption to take over his mind, drown out his thoughts. He was vaguely aware of Koyou entering the room, trying to get a hold of your body. The red marks swirling around his body grew, and he slapped her hand away, not even trying to distinguish his sobs from his screams. His thoughts rampaged in his head, harsh and unforgiving.

Why does everyone leave?

Why did she have to go, why do I care? Why does this hurt so much?

Why am I so stupid stupid stupid stupid?

Stupid little Chuuya, he liked someone again didn’t he?

Did he not see how it worked out last time?

He left, she died, it’s always the same, isn’t it?

Arabahki’s thoughts mingled with his own, mixing together with the chaos of his grief.

All he had was the Port Mafia, and yet Mori betrayed him, was ready to kill him off. Sacrifice him, was Chuuya even important?

Not to Dazai. Not to the Sheep. Not to the Port Mafia.

Maybe it’s time to go.

DAZAI POV:

Getting a call from Mori that Chuuya was on a Corruption rampage and might kill him and the rest of the Port Mafia, was not how Dazai enjoyed being woken up on his day off.

Dazai pondered his relationship with the short man on his way to the Port Mafia headquarters, wondering how his former partner felt about him, after all these years. Dazai knew how Chuuya felt about what he did to Y/N, but he also fondly remembers the grudging friendship the two had harbored in their youth. Dazai never knew what to make of Chuuya. Though he relished fights and the occasional killing of a man, his personality never seemed to fit the Port Mafia. He held too much compassion in his heart, carried too much sympathy for an executive. Dazai himself, even after attempting to better himself, admitted to himself that he did not possess the same weirdly righteous qualities Chuuya had. As he rushed up the stairs and to the elevator in the building, he wondered if Chuuya would have faired better during a different time, maybe some dimension where abilities did not exist.

He hoped that in some other dimension, you and him had found happiness.

When he stepped into Mori’s office, the sight that greeted him shocked him to his core. Your body lies dead in the center of the room, blood staining the ground around you. Chuuya held you like a lifeline, blood already spilling from his mouth at the use of Corruption. When his eyes caught Dazai’s he lunged forward, fist pulled back. Dazai sidestepped, grabbing his arm and slamming him to the ground.

Corruption slowly dissipated, leaving Chuuya weak and angry. They both sat against the glass, Dazai gripping Chuuya’s hand. He listened to him cry, wondering if he was intruding. He most likely was, but Dazai would be lying if he said that he was not saddened by your lifeless form, knowing that in a way, he was the reason for your untimely death.

Chuuya shifted next to him, wobbly standing up.

“Chuuya,” Dazai called, concerned that he would activate Corruption again.

“Want do you want,” Chuuya all but yelled back, clear malice ripping through Dazai.

“Just an explanation,”

“You don’t deserve one. This is all your fault. Plus, It’s not like you gave me one when you left,”

Dazai hardened his gaze. “You know why I left,”

“Oh yes, I know why,” Chuuya threw his hand up in the air, rounding on the brunette. “But the explanation never came from you. The only thing you’ve ever given me was issues, and in a way, Y/N, but now she’s gone,” His voice broke at your name, a few more tears pilling over. “And I’m alone again,”

“Chuuya-”

“No!” Chuuya screamed, letting out everything he still had left in him. “She didn’t deserve this. She was so scared, and so hurt, and I thought I could help her, but in the end, I’m the reason she’s dead. And you,” He stood before Dazai, heaving, tears freely flowing. “You’re the one who made her this way,”

Dazai stood up, towering over his ex-partner. “I never said I don’t regret what I did, nor did I say I enjoyed it. I was a kid Chuuya, and I had nowhere else to call home. Can you honestly say you have no regrets? That you never did things your ashamed of?”

Chuuya punched Dazai’s arm, though he was too weak for the punch to feel anything more than a tap.

“I hate you,” Chuuya said, eyes downcast.

“No, you don’t. You hate what I’ve done, and you hate the way you still regard me as someone you rely on, but you don’t hate me. You hate the fact that you don’t hate me,”

“You’re a monster,”

Dazai knew that Chuuya didn’t mean what he said, that he was grieving, but his words hurt some deep place in his heart nonetheless.

Dazai wrapped his arms around the shorter man, an action foreign and unfamiliar for the both of them. Yet, appropriate, in some way.

“I know,”

Chuuya sobbed, letting his anger melt away and expose the deep, raw sadness beneath. He practically ripped Dazai’s trench coat with how hard he gripped it, sinking to his knees in exhaustion. Dazai felt a few hot tears slip down his cheeks, something he hadn’t done in a very long time.

YOUR POV:

It hurt.

Dying was more painful than you ever could have imagined, but watching Chuuya tear apart the room and himself while you watched on from the shadows hurt more.

Right before Chuuya started yelling at Mori, you had activated your ability, hiding your real form and creating a second one. You watched as you made it draw the blade against its -your- throat, and watched with tears streaming down your cheeks as Chuuya held you, promising to make sure no one would go through what had happened to you.

It hurt, but you knew the only way to make sure Chuuya lived on was to make everyone think you died. For the plan to work, Chuuya had to be completely innocent of your plan.

Which meant he would think you died too.

You listened to his and Dazai’s conversation, shocked at how hurt he sounded when he brought up Dazai leaving. It hurt you to know you had essentially done the same thing, though your purpose was to make sure he was safe.

Now came the tricky part.

You had only succeeded in doing this once, but it was worth a shot.

Since Dazai was not touching you, he was also under the influence of your ability.

In order for this to work, you had to make them believe that it was normal for your body to fade and disappear as if it was an aspect of your ability.

Your head pounded as you manipulated their minds, knowing Dazai was going to find out your extravagant lie sooner or later.

Once you were sure you succeeded, you let your double fade away, then left the room, keeping your ability activated all the while.

You can’t kill someone for leaving the mafia if they’re already dead.

You trekked through Yokohama in the pouring rain, your nose bleeding at the prolonged use of your ability. You knew your time was running out, but you needed to hold out. Just for a little longer.

Walking up to the door of a small apartment, you carefully picked the lock, concealing your presence, and stepping inside.

Footsteps light, you walked through the house, spotting your targets crying on the couch together.

Atsushi and Kyouka were both crying, and you decided to wait a bit before revealing yourself.

“I can’t believe she’s gone,” Kyouka whispered, and you instantly knew they were talking about you.

Why?

“You know, she was getting really good at reading and writing,” Atsushi sniffled. “And she loved to run her hands through my fur. I thought it was weird at first, but she was always so gentle,”

Better rip the Band-Aid off You thought to yourself, deciding you should just reveal yourself and get it over with.

When you did, Atsushi leapt up off the couch in his half tiger form, shoving Kyouka behind him.

His eyes widened once he realized it was you.

“Y-Y/N?”

“Hey, Atsushi,”

A/N: hey. hey,,,, how ya��ll doin?

Okay but in all seriousness, this aint the end. also the dazai/chuuya action in this was PURLEY platonic (absolutely NOTHING against the ship, i just don’t think it fits this fic :)), a reconciliation of friends if you will. Because yes, I do believe they’re friends. Maybe not by conventional standards, but you just don’t see unconditional trust like they have all the time guys.

So uhhh, how we feeling about this? We did get somewhere with readers feelings!!

But seriously guys, I actually typed this all in one sitting (i scrapped the old version of this chapter because i didn't like it) because i hit 105 followers!! i kinda stole my laptop back from my mom so i could publish this, since i still feel really bad for going so long without posting any new stuff.

Make sure ya’ll drink water, eat food, and take proper care of yourselves!!

#chuuya #chuuya nakahara #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #bsd #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #angst

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ruubles · 3 years

Text

A Bundle of Crimson Roses (Pt.3)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Pairing: Chuuya Nakahara x Reader

Warnings: Cursing , Alcohol , Suggestive Themes , Gore , Blood, Violence

Word Count: 6790

Y/N) stood at the back of the gazebo, her body leaned atop the white wooden rail as she stared out across the well maintained garden. Flowers twisted in the moonlight and swayed in the gentle breeze, rose bushes stood without a branch out of place and recently pruned, and the fountain brought a continuous stream of sound. These little details had been the focus of her attention, the only thing dragging her mind away from the bodiless head sitting on the ground behind her.

She hadn’t brought herself to do anything with it yet, leaving it there in hopes that maybe it was just a hallucination, but the longer she stood the more the realization came crashing down. In her time under the Port Mafia she’d seen, and done, horrible things that were considerably worse than this. Even so, she was shocked that someone would risk their life to get the corpse only to leave its head behind as a warning.

That’s what this was. A warning.

A warning to stay away. A warning to not track these people down. Whoever had been responsible for this murder was dangerous and they wanted the mafia to know that. They not only created a drug that could remove someone’s ability, but they went through all the trouble of tracking the victim down to keep this information from them. It was a basic strategy but well thought for this situation. As long as they left behind as little traceable evidence as possible then it would be near impossible to find the culprit.

“Fuck. That sure explains the missing body.” (Y/N) had lost herself in thoughts of the situation and hadn’t noticed Chuuya’s approach. She didn’t bother to turn around and listened as he approached her, his steps were shallow light as he took the longest route around the head. After a moment she felt him beside her, his arms crossed and laid on the railing. “You should have told me you found something, I was still searching the house!”

He huffed a little as he spoke, eyes focused ahead just as hers were. “Sorry, I guess I got caught up thinking about something. I haven’t had a partner in quite some time.”

“Tch. You don’t have to apologize, I’m not used to a partner either. Last time I had one, it was that shitty Dazai.”

(Y/N) chuckled, her grim face shifting to one with a slight smile. She shook her head at the mention of the suicidal man, he was quite the topic in the Port Mafia, even after he abandoned them. “I was never that close with Dazai, but I knew of him through a friend. It would seem many people perceive him in different ways.”

“Many people don’t like him, and I couldn’t agree with those people more.” Chuuya turned to look at (Y/N), finally acknowledging that she had at some point turned to face him. Her (E/C) eyes met his and he could see that glint in them, not the one of seriousness from this morning, but the playfulness he’d seen in her last night.

“Who are you Chuuya Nakahara?”

The question was a strange question, similar to the ones he’d been asked when they first met only twenty-four hours before. “That’s a dumb question for someone Mori spoke so highly of.”

“I’m no fool Chuuya Nakahara, I’ve looked into the case files of almost every high ranking member of the Port Mafia. You are the person with the least amount of information. I was able to get more from Mori’s own public file than your private one.” (Y/N) backed away from the ledge and took a few steps away from Chuuya, carefully watching her movements to stay a good distance from the head. “I’m working with someone who I know nothing about. Mori knows you’re loyal to him, but I have no reason to believe that you wouldn’t shoot me if the opportunity provided itself.”

“Now why would I do that? Mori made you my partner, and I’m not going to disobey a direct order from him.” Chuuya scoffed and turned to face her. “Plus you’re one to talk about minimal information when your file doesn’t exist. I may not be the most strategic person in this mafia, but I do like knowing who I’m dealing with.”

“It would seem we’ve hit a roadblock then. My files, both public and private, were burned upon request and I assume the missing information from yours is also ash.” (Y/N) stepped towards Chuuya, their eyes locked in a challenge with one another. Her eyes changed rapidly to a dark piercing gaze, as if the trust she’d gained for him had drained at a rapid pace. “I have no doubt that our partnership will be beneficial in this case, but if neither of us trust one another then I see no reason for us to be friends.”

~x~

Chuuya’s eyes remained glued to the road ahead, his ears honed in on the quiet breathing of the seat diagonal to his own. If he focused he could see the faint outline of a person in his peripheral vision, but their body still remained shrouded in darkness. (Y/N) had chosen to sit in the back of his car, to the seat opposite of her was a bloody bag securely buckled down.

They hadn’t spoken even a word after their show down in the gazebo, perhaps newfound apprehension had been built between both parties. Few people knew of Chuuya’s past, but he understood that the mystery made any relations he had with another person difficult. For all (Y/N) knew he was a treacherous fiend that would stab her at moments notice. Though that statement applied for him as well, he had done his digging in the hours before he’d seen her standing alone outside and the stories of her did not disappoint.

The woman without a face, that was the constant whenever they mentioned her. He hadn’t a clue what it meant but whatever it was made her dangerous. Far more than most people of the mafia. Tidbits of information wormed their way into his mind, some of which were likely untrue, but the more he learned the less he really knew. From what he’d been told she’d joined the mafia at a fairly young age, just a little bit before the Dragon’s Head Conflict, and during the conflict was when her true strength had come to light. Mori promoted her just after the whole fight started, but he told no one but Daza and a few people who knew of her.

“Tomorrow I propose we go to the scene of the fight. We could likely find some bullet casings or leftover blood. It could be a lead for where to find these people.” Chuuya could see in his eyes that even though she was speaking to him, she hadn’t turned away from the window.

“We could go in the morning and-”

“Afternoon.” She cut him off. “I have business to attend tomorrow morning and I would much rather not be forced to reschedule. My apologies for cutting you off, but please continue.”

Chuuya rolled his eyes but made no comment on her rude interruption. “Then we can meet up tomorrow afternoon; Do you need a ride?”

(Y/N) hummed to herself for a moment before answering him. “If it isn’t too much trouble. My business is at a bakery on Southwest Street: Kim’s Kreamy Delights. They have some of the best sweets I’ve ever tried, I’m a big fan of their Dasik, but Mrs.Kim only makes them on Lunar New Year. When it’s not around that time, I usually get a kkwabaegi.”

“You seem well acquainted with sweet treats, I assume you know that they aren’t healthy.” Chuuya’s comment was somewhat judgmental, but it seemed to fly over (Y/N)’s head. Her mind still focused on the warm treats she would get whenever she was in town.

“I know that, but I do things for the enjoyment of myself. We are members of a mafia Chuuya, I’ve never expected to live a long life, nor a happy one. If you wish to judge then do so but I will not be changing my habits based on your criticism.” He had thought she hadn’t noticed the backhanded rudeness he’d displayed but it seems as though she had.

There was a strange silence that fluttered through the air of the car as the light of the city finally made its way through the car's windows. Slowly the trees on the outer rim of the city turned to buildings and the streetlamps illuminated the faces, every post passing by in a fleeting second before another one replaced the eerie orange light. Chuuya’s car sped down the street, not one to abide by normal street laws, and every sharp turn brought them closer to the mafia’s headquarters.

After a couple of minutes he pulled up in front of the towering building, its floors spiralling upwards into the stars. Several windows could be seen alive with a blazing light, not a strange sight considering many of the mafia’s business matters occurred during this time of night. Usually Chuuya would be in there monitoring what went on in every crevice of that building, but instead he was heading home to an empty apartment where he’d be receiving regularly spaced messages updating him on what was going on. It had been Mori’s order for him to get some rest, but the work of a mafia member was never done when night fell.

“Are you sure I can’t drop you off at the place you’re staying at? I don’t mind driving a little further.” Chuuya had extended his offer not because he was kind, but because Mori had been clear that someone should be looking out for this woman. He’d gone as far as assigning Hirotsu to monitor her, there had to be a reason he’d want someone of such importance to watch out for someone as capable as an executive.

“I’ll be fine, but thank you for the offer. There’s some papers I want to take a look at before going to my residence.” (Y/N) opened the door of the car, bringing both her legs out onto the sidewalk with a gentle click of her heels. She hesitated before turning back around. Her hand latched onto the top of the sheet that they had used as a handle and dragged the head towards her. “I truly am sorry for my words earlier. One of my bad habits is trying to forget my past, and I let that get to me. If it’s okay, I would like to take back my rude words.”

That was surprising. In the garden, (Y/N) had been so serious and gave off the same feeling that Mori gave off whenever someone questioned his authority. She was authoritative when she spoke of her burned files and her going back on her word of their relationship being nothing more than partners was something he hadn't expected. Thirty minutes ago he’d fully been prepared for her to be just another person he sees at work, but yet here she was apologizing. Every time they spoke it was like talking to another person, but this is the one who he’d met that had no apprehensions brought about by their job; This was the woman who was behind the mask of the mafia.

“I’m not one for friends.” (Y/N) had tried to hide the slight slump of her shoulders at his words, but he noticed the slight change before she stepped out of his car. She closed the door without turning around and began to walk towards the building's entrance. Chuuya rolled the window down and called out. “But I would like to try one of those kkwabaegi you were telling me about.”

She stopped her motions and turned to face him with the smallest of smiles on her face. “You butchered that name.”

“Oh shut up!” He snapped before rolling up the window and speeding off. (Y/N) watched as his car went down the street and eventually turned the corner. Her (E/C) bleary with a tiredness she’d held for so long. They were far from friends, but in the mafia did anyone really have a friend? A life like theirs was not made for relationships greater than the ones they formed at work and that was a fact (Y/N) had learned a long time ago. She didn’t expect anything from Chuuya, but she hoped that maybe when this was all over that there might be someone who wants her to stick around.

“So are you enjoying your new partner?” The voice was deep and sudden, there had been no one around moments before. (Y/N) showed no surprise of this person's newfound presence; She had known the moment he had appeared behind her. “The kids aren’t mad, but they are expecting you to take them out for ice cream. You’d better not disappoint them or I’ll pour all your wine into a bush.”

“Oh come on Isaac, I may not be the most caring person in the world but I wouldn’t disappoint those kids. Not again.” (Y/N) turned to face her friend. Isaac stood with his head turned up as he let out a puff of air and watched as it turned white and then disappeared. He wore the same outfit he wore whenever he was bartending: A dark gray button up tucked into a pair of pitch black jeans, simple but with the added spice of five undone buttons to reveal a well sculpted body beneath. He was a person of habit. “Did you just finish a shift?”

“No? What gave you that idea?” They walked side by side to one another, Isaac’s hand buried in his pocket as they approached the building.

(Y/N) stopped in her tracks, a deadpan expression replacing the sly smile she’d worn moments before. “You cannot tell me that outfit is the extent of your closet.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean!” Isaac snapped, hand pulled from his pocket as he balled his fingers into a fist. “I have better fashion than you Ms.I-Dress-Like-An-Cubicle-Worker.”

“Oh quit it, you’re acting so childish, Isaac.” (Y/N) shook her head and walked into the building, neither of the guards questioning her presence much. Her comrade followed her lead and stayed close as though fearful of being found for being out of place. “I thought better of you.”

“Oh shut it you hag, let’s just get this over with.”

~x~

“I doubt there’s anything left at the scene of the fight. Especially if you say it's a city owned warehouse.” Isaac sighed and fell back on his chair before continuing. “They’re easy to access and I doubt that someone willing to go through all the trouble of disposing the body wouldn’t clear that place out.”

Mori sat at his usual spot at the head of the table, silent as he listened to both (Y/N) and Isaac shoot ideas off one another. He seemed enthralled in his own thoughts as he considered a plan of action. They all sat close to one another, Mori at the head of his table with one of them sitting in a chair on either side of the table. So close there was no need for their voices to be raised and that meant that anyone outside would have a hard time listening in.

It was strange for someone so strong and hated like Mori to allow an outsider like Isaac to ever be near him, but after all Mori had done for them both he trusted them more than a lot of the members of the mafia. (Y/N) was his executive and by extension Isaac was loyal, though he would not hold his tongue around him like she would.

“(Y/N), you must have an assumption as to who is behind this. Please clarify who it is.” Mori wanted to hear all the information, even if it might be wrong.

“Is that really even a question, Ougai? You’ve had the same assumption considering you didn’t only bring me back here, but you called a meeting with my old partner.” (Y/N) was apprehensive to continue, her idea had a lot of backing and would likely be true. For now it was only that, an idea, but the more they investigate the closer she’ll get to the life she used to have. “I think it was them. That old man is smart and a drug like this isn’t far from something he’d do.”

Isaac gritted his teeth, trying to find an argument for why it wouldn’t be them. Anything to keep the idea of them coming back out of his mind. They’d spent so much effort to escape their past and join Mori that even a possibility of the past coming back to haunt them was pestilent. “There wasn’t anything left with the part of the body they left behind. It’s protocol to leave them with every single body, you know that.”

“Of course I do, but there are exceptions to that rule! Given a direct order from him you don’t have to-”

“And if it is absolutely impossible, I know.” Isaac cut her off to continue his idea. “Something like this, so large, the old man wouldn’t want to let anyone take credit for it. He wants people to know it's them so they’ll be afraid.”

“There were roses in her garden.”

“You said she had a garden full of flowers of all kinds.” He argued back, hand hitting the table a bit too harshly. “A couple of roses bushes doesn’t fucking matter!”

“Enough.” Mori interjected. He’d taken both Isaac and (Y/N) in at a young age, but they both had a tough time before he found them. They may not have been together these past few years but they are still better partners than any two people who ever graced the mafia. Above all Mori sought to keep things neutral between them both so that they wouldn’t say anything they’d regret when things calmed down. “We have to think rationally and take a moment to talk it over. Neither of you are foolish, I’ve seen the things you can accomplish together but tensions are high right now. For now we assume it’s one of the recent organizations who have stood against us.”

It was silent for a moment as the pair thought things over. They’d lived a long life with shared pains but they both had managed to come out better for it. Isaac was raising five kids and smiled everyday as though it were his last, on the other hand (Y/N) buried herself in work and drowned herself with expensive delicacies to erase it all. They were like family and neither of them would blame the other for how things went after Oda’s death.

“If it’s not?” Isaac’s voice was low and gravelly as though he were on the verge of tears. It was weak and pitiful, but it explained exactly how they were feeling. “What if it is them, Mori? Do we fight them? We won’t win that.”

“It isn’t them.” (Y/N) cut in before Mori could say a word. “It can’t be. We went through so much to slaughter them during the Dragon’s Head Conflict. The numbers don’t lie, nearly every branch was pruned because of us. To come back now, and with enough people to even consider facing the Port Mafia, is impossible.”

Isaac slid his chair back and stood up, dark eyes more gloomy than they were glossy. “You seem to forget (Y/N), pruning is done to help a plant grow.”

~x~

Chuuya looked from his phone to the fancy hotel he’d parked across the street from. His eyes held hesitation as he scanned across the messages on his device one final time. Part of him wanted to ignore the messages and just go home, but doing this had become a ritual. A guilty pleasure that helped calm his riled nerves.

‘I don’t have work tonight if you want to drop by our special spot.’

‘C’mon Chuuya, at least let me know if you’re going to show up. I need to know if I should open the champagne sooner rather than later.’

‘Fine. I’ll be waiting, but until then let me leave you with a special present.”

‘Attachment: 1 Image’

Chuuya’s eyes scanned across the image once again, to say it was scandalous was an understatement. There was no face presented in the image, instead the picture captured a woman’s body adorned in a set of elegant hand-woven red lace lingerie. He wasn’t unfamiliar with the outfit considering he’d been the one to take it off her many times before.

Their relationship was nothing more than a late at night call whenever they needed to relieve some stress. Neither of them knew much of the other, their names had come the first night they’d grabbed a drink and their sexual desires came soon after. Though there were a few things he noticed: Her schedule was not linear, he’d get spontaneous messages throughout the month asking if he were free. Most of the time he could clear just a bit of time and make his way here to meet with her for a few hours.

They’d been doing this for months at this point and he still couldn’t wrap his head around the stupidity of his actions. Everytime he said he would end things off and never see her again, then as though he were wrapped around her finger he would be back here: Car parked in the same spot as always and his route to the room the same. A member of the mafia took a risk two or three times a month to visit a woman whose life he hadn’t a clue of.

Using his memory, Chuuya made his way through the lobby, passing by a clerk who offered a knowing nod in his direction. It was the same thing time after time but that familiarity was something he clung to. No one questioned him. No one asked why he did something. No one looked to him for answers. It was the opposite of what he did for work, but it was so much more freeing.

Taking the elevator up, Chuuya watched as the red numbers changed, going up one by one until finally the number fifteen. One final chime echoed through the metal cage and the doors slid open into a long spiraling hallway. Three steps out of the elevator, three doors to the right, and on his left. That path he’d memorized after his third meeting with this strange woman.

With a deep breath Chuuya tried to prepare himself to end this debacle that could become scurrilous if things were to go wrong. He opened the door and slid into the room quietly as though trying to go unnoticed. The sound of a running shwoer gently swayed throughout the room and he knew that she was getting ready for what she presumed to be his imminent arrival. He slid off his cape and hung it on the coat rack besides the door, his hat following suit.

The water shut off and a voice called out to him from somewhere beyond sight. “Oh Chuuya~”

Her voice was sweet as it called, drawing out the a at the end of his name to grab his attention. Getting the message he walked from the main room into the small, but still fairly large, bedroom. There she stood, body wrapped in a white towel that barely covered the most private portions of her body.

Alberta Einstein. She was a beauty to behold; her almond shaped eyes holding the deepest most dark irises you might ever see as if they were shadows coming to life with no light reflecting off of them. Long white hair would usually be flowing down her back and sway gently every time she took a step. Her figure was lean but she seemed to have curves in places that would make any man fall in a matter of moments. Now, standing bare in a bath towel, she was ravishing. Droplets of water dripping from her body and onto the floor, running from her neck down to her towel, and more littering the floor of the bathroom.

“I wasn’t sure you would show.” Her feet sunk into the carpet as she walked towards Chuuya, imprints of water marking her chosen pathway. Once close enough, her hand danced around his top button before easily sliding it undone. Slowly she moved to the second button and slowly began to undo it as well, but she hesitated. “Something wrong?”

Her eyes danced up to meet his, a shade so dark that his light blue eyes could never fathom their depths. “We should stop this.”

“You’re quite right, Chuuya. This relationship is going no where and it never will: We’ve been having casual sex for months but neither of us have caught an ounce of feelings.” She leaned into his lips, heat fanning across his face as she spoke, still continuing to fiddle with his buttons. “But isn’t that the fun part, my dearest Nakahara? Life isn’t about love even if people wish it was; It’s about enjoying yourself so much that you can’t possibly find it in your soul to frown.”

She leaned in and finally met his lips in the softest most gentle kiss she’d ever given to him. Her lips were warm as she pressed her body flush against his. With quick hands she undid the buttons at a much faster pace than the one she’d set before. Chuuya knew better than to let her do this once again but he quickly melted into her touch. Their lips entwined with one another as her mouth parted to let a gentle moan escape.

“I must say your sexual prowess surprises me. For such a short man you truly are skilled in bed.” She taunted his height, attempting to mask it with a compliment. They’d played this game time and time before.

“Tch. Same as always Ally, crude and judgemental so much so that you can’t even acknowledge your own shortcomings.” He moved from her lips to just under her ear, teeth grazing against her earlobe and sending a shudder down and throughout her body. “Last time we were together I specifically remember you getting so worked up that you could barely beg for more.”

She smirked and gulped down a large portion of air. Ally was not nervous, it was apparent on her face, instead she was excited. “That’s because I’m not a beggar.”

Chuuya had a response gliding across his tongue but before it could come out the incessant ringing of a phone bleared through the room. Ally let out an audible groan and pushed Chuuya away, hand lingering on his unbuttoned shirt for just a bit too long. Part of him wanted to pull her back but then he reasoned with himself and realized that his wish of ending things could still come true. With the interference of an outsider he had caught the slipup he’d made many times before.

“What the hell do you want, Thomas?” Ally snapped through her phone, she paced back and forth as she listened to the person on the other line. After a moment she stopped dead in her tracks. “You really are useless without me. Fine, fine I didn’t mean it.”

She turned to Chuuya and gave that smile, the same one he’d often give her when his work called him away from the hotel room. Though this time he was pleasantly surprised by the situation. Furthering contact with someone so wrapped in mystery was not beneficial in any way. If anything it was dangerous and reckless. She meant nothing to him and that feeling was mutual, so neither of them had any real attachments to one another. It was best to end things here so that neither of them had too many hard feelings when things would inevitably go bad in a few more months. Casual sex and a freind with benefits was the closest he’d ever get to a real relationship given his line of work, but even that was something he hadn’t saught after much in his time.

“I was busy.” She growled into her phone before taking a deep breath and calming her nerves. After a moment her resolve and anger faded in one swift motion and she sighed. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes, just wait for me in the meeting room okay?”

With a final goodbye she hung up the phone and tossed it onto the bed. She followed suit with her phone and fell onto the white bedding, face smashing against the soft comforter they would usually be tangled in by now. “This is for the best Alberta. I meant what I said. My job isn’t the most lenient and I don’t need distractions right now, so this is my final goodbye to you.”

She turned to look at him, watching as he redid the buttons she’d worked to undo. Turning over she spread her arms across the bed and closed her eyes. A soft smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “That’s true, my job is also picking up pace right now. We have a big projecting starting and I’d hate to miss out on it because of an outside relationship. Perhaps when things settle down we could meet up again, relive the first we met.”

“That won’t be necessary, when I say final goodbye I mean it.” Her ears perked up and she sat up, realizing now that he had already left the room and slid on his jacket. She heard the door open and then once again his voice rang through her ears. “Find yourself someone who’s actually in love with you, okay? Someone who’s worth your time.”

With those final words, the door closed to the hotel room and she was left alone to her thoughts. Intrigued by the man who she’d enraptured by her beauty. She had no romantic feelings towards him, but she was quite sad that their days of booty calls would no longer be happening.

~x~

Chuuya walked through the halls of the Port Mafia’s building, against the order he’d been giving he returned to headquarters in hopes of catching Mori before he left. Though after travelling up to the top floor he’d come to the conclusion that his boss had already left. He’d likely have gone to get rest for the night or take Elise to do something better than sit around his office.

“Chuuya.” Kouyou’s appearance behind him was sudden, her steps quiet as ever as she approached with her usual long strides. Her dress swayed as she continued by his side. As usual she spoke and moved in a way so elegant that she resembled a goddess. “How is your evening? I could have sworn Mori told you to return to your residence.”

“It’s late Kouyou, you should’ve gone home hours ago.” Chuuya tried to divert the subject from his disobedience, but he knew that even so Kouyou would insist. She was a Port Mafia executive above all else but that did not mean she was heartless. It was fleeting comments that passed by ever so often that reminded him of this; She cared about him in a similar sense to how she cares for Kyouka. “Do you have any idea where Mori might be? It’s late but usually he wouldn’t have left by this time.”

“Last time I saw him, he was meeting with (Y/N) and that handsome young bartender. I always forget his name but he makes the most wonderful cocktails.” Her voice sounded nearly dreamy as she recalled the delicious drinks she’d enjoy ever so often. Kouyou was the type of person who could handle her liquor well, unlike himself, and he’d seen her drink a dozen fruity drinks without ever slurring a single word. It was honestly somewhat startling. “Though I do remember he stormed out and your partner followed close behind. They sounded as though they were having a heated discussion but I was too caught up in a phone call to hear much of what they said.”

“Isaac.” Chuuya said slowly , Kouyou perked up and turned to him with a soft questioning hum. “That’s his name. Why would Mori want to meet with a random bartender? I thought (Y/N) said she was going home.”

The woman next to him chuckled, she pressed the button to call the elevator before turning to him. “I have no clue why Mori would want to speak with that man but I assume he has a reason and we should not question him. As for (Y/N), I’m glad to see you’re getting along with her. You were quite opposed to your partnership during the meeting this morning.”

“Getting along isn’t the phrasing I’d use.” Chuuya grumbled, arms crossing as he turned to face the elevator instead of his mentor. “I don’t trust that woman. She’s hiding something and I’d rather not be staring down the barrel of a gun when I find out what it is.”

They fell into silence, neither of them knowing what to say. Chuuya wasn’t in the wrong for believing she was hiding something, no one who can switch their personality as quick as her is being genuine. Mori trusts her and that is abundantly clear but what isn’t is why he’d never heard of her. Another executive that no one knew of was strange to say the very least. For now he wouldn’t question her much, instead seeing what he can find out without her realizing he’s digging around for information.

Kouyou knew a little of (Y/N), Mori had told her some of the stories about the feats she’d completed during her time in Russia. She knew there was more to the story but if Mori had trust in her to stay loyal to them then it was not her place to question it. One thing was clear to her from the way that her boss spoke: (Y/N) was strong and she is not foolish, and keeping her hidden from everyone was a strategy of the finest creation. He hadn’t told her what his ability is but whatever it was it made her abnormally strong compared to a regular mafioso.

“Your accusation is likely true, she is hiding something from us but I believe that Mori knows exactly what it is. We’ve pledged our lives to the mafia which means we are to have faith in our boss.” Finally after what felt like minutes the elevator door dinged and began to open. “I have a strong feeling that you and your new partner aren’t nearly as different as you’d like to believe… Perhaps I’m just being foolish.”

“You really should be getting some rest, my dear (Y/N).” The voice of Mori coed from the elevator, his slender hands wrapped around her shoulders as he gave them a gentle squeeze. She tried to shrug him off but the further she got from his grasp the tighter his hold became. It was almost as though watching a father taking care of his young daughter, but below the surface they were hiding something. Chuuya and Kouyou had been so enraptured with their own conversation that they hadn’t bore witness to the quiet whisper Mori had slipped to (Y/N) before the doors were all the way open.

“Get off of me you old man!” She shouted, bringing her foot back on his before whirling around. Not noticing his presence, her back bumped against Chuuya’s chest. He stumbled a bit at the sudden added weight but his arms caught around her and steadied them both. Surprised, she turned to face her hero with an utterly sweet smile. “Oh? Hello Chuuya, I didn’t expect to see you again this evening. Did you not have plans to attend?”

Mori perked up at the mention of one of his executives, specifically the one he’d told to take the night off. “Plans fall through often, no big deal. I just thought I’d come to make sure that Mori had been given a full report on what we found.”

“There’s no need to worry Chuuya, (Y/N) has given me a full report and I have faith that your digging tomorrow will bring more information to light.” Mori straightened himself from the endearing man they’d seen moments ago. His voice had a cold demeanor as it always had when he spoke with them, though when he spoke with her it seemed he had a similar attitude to the one he used when communicating with Elise. “I have faith in the both of you to prove your worth as executives. May you prove my assumptions right that your partnership was not in vain, then perhaps I could be persuaded to give you both a raise befitting your work.”

(Y/N)’s eyes searched up Mori, her gaze travelling from his gloved hands up to his rigid smiling face. It was clear to her that he was faking every word and gesture as if hoping to give his two closest advisors a false sense of security. His whisper still rang in her ear, ‘For now, act as if our conversation with Isaac never happened. You are, and only are, an executive of the Port Mafia.’ The message was clear with what he wanted but the intent behind it was a mystery. Had he meant it as a form of comfort to remind her that her past was not to stop her from having a future, or was it a warning to keep up the act as a perfect mafia princess and play the diplomat role, perhaps it was neither and simply a reminder that her life has only ever been that of a pawn. Any way he went about saying it, there was obvious fabrication of joy in his face.

“Thank you, sir.” Chuuya took a low bow before his boss and Kouyou offered a small courtesy. “Though I would like to speak with you about a few things when you have the time.”

Mori looked from Chuuya to (Y/N) as though he were asking her what questions she’d brought about from Chuuya, but all she did was shrug in response. He would either ask about her past and her file or he would bring up the fact that their partnership was not in the best of graces. “I truly would love to speak with you about this Chuuya, but Elise has been waiting on me for hours! Tomorrow morning I should have a bit of free time if that’s okay.”

“That will be fine, thank you sir.”

“Now, as your boss, I must request that you all get some rest. Specifically you (Y/N). I know that bad habit of yours and I’d prefer it if it didn’t interfere with your work.” Mori’s words confused the two people who didn’t know much about her habits, but she understood it well enough. He had made a jab at her constant desire to work and the way she would stay awake until the point of utter exhaustion. It was a bad habit she’d had for a long time; But it was part of the reason she got so much work done. “Please do watch your phones in case there’s an emergency, but if there is not then enjoy your time off.”

Mori stalked away from the group and in the direction of his meeting room. “Well I should be going as well, I’ve got some place to be. May you both have a goodnight.” (Y/N) wasted no time in excusing herself from the situation, wanting nothing more than to find her way to a place she’d been meaning to visit since she returned to Yokohama.

“Do you need a ride?” Chuuya was not fond of (Y/N), and that feeling went both ways, but his partner had done nothing to wrong him yet. Until she did so, he would be kind and offer her a ride. Kouyou smiled to herself but used her fan to hide it; The gesture earned a glare from Chuuya. “I don’t mind, I’ve got a stop to make before I return to my apartment anyway.”

“That won’t be necessary, but thank you for the offer Chuuya.” (Y/N) stepped into the elevator and gave a small wave before the doors began to close and seal her away from them both. “Tomorrow afternoon, don’t forget okay?”

With that she was gone.

#Chuuya #Chuuya Nakahara #chuuya nakahara x reader #port mafia #mori ougai #bsd kouyou #bungou stray dogs kouyou #original character #original work #fan fiction #mature themes #bungou stray dogs #bungou SD #chuuyaxreader #bsdxreader #reader insert #xreader #bungo stray dogs

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nolongerwrites · 4 years

Text

Lemme just repost this because my dumbass deleted it by accident a couple of weeks ago 💀

I know the lyrics are misplaced I’m too lazy to fix it rn

How to disappear

“Cuts on his face 'cause he fought too hard”

“I know he's in over his head”

“But I love that man like nobody can”

“He moves mountains and pounds them to ground again”

“I watched the guys getting high as they fight For the things that they hold dear”

“To forget the things they fearThis is how to disappear...”

It had been almost 4-5 years since you’d last seen him. Last you’d Seen the way he’d smile at you when you would walk in the room. The way you would wrap your arms around him from behind when you thought he least expected it, the way you’d cuddle up against him at night like it was the only way you could sleep, the addictive kisses you’d share when no one was watching.

Dazai and you were inseparable. Everyone in the port mafia knew you two were basically connected at the hip. They would talk about the way you two would sneak off and do god knows what when you were supposed to be working. But that was a long time ago. When he disappeared leaving only a note on what had happened and why he needed to leave, it felt as if your whole heart had been torn up to pieces and set on fire.

You were mad. Upset. Confused. Why didn’t he take you with him? Had everything you’d done together and the time spent with each other meant nothing?

You knew odasaku was his best friend but weren’t you also? It may have been selfish of you to think that way but After Dazai’s disappearance you fell into a deep state of depression. You became a completely different person from the way you carried yourself to the lack of sympathy for others. Everyone in the mafia stood clear of you even on assignments and in the halls of the mafias headquarters.

You killed without a second thought unlike before and It didn’t matter who it was you were interrogating, if they didn’t speak up the first time you tortured them until they spilt the info you were looking for only for you to kill them off brutally.

You had become one of the most dangerous and ruthless executives the mafia had, even chuuya wouldn’t try and mess with you.

“Cry on his shoulder 'cause life is hard”

“The waves came in over my head”

“What you been up to, my baby?”

“I haven't seen you 'round here lately “

Fast forward those painful years and here you were now, On your way to inspect a wear house down at the port that supposedly had some suspicious looking figures lurking around it.

Mori had assigned you to just take a look at take out anyone who didn’t look like his men. But

halfway there, as you were driving in one of the cars belonging to the mafia, you had gotten a call from chuuya.

You picked up your phone and answered it hoping it was just another assignment so you could go home and sleep. You were awfully exhausted.

“What’s up” you stated blankly as you turned a corner. “You might wanna come back. Mori specifically asked for you..” chuuya sounded like he was nervous to talk to you. More than normal. “I’m already half way there can’t he wait-“ you were cut off as chuuya called your name sternly.

“ we have a prisoner that needs to be interrogated, a former mafia member..” there was a pause on your end that racked his nerves to the core, yet he continued on.

“... you can probably take a guess who it is...” the car had stopped before he could even finish that sentence. Your grip on the steering wheel was insanely tight, you were surprised you hadn’t broke it already. Blank clouded eyes stared on into the empty road in front of you and as a few minutes past, you could hear chuuya clear his throat which prompted to snap you out of your daze.

“I’ll be right there.” Was all you said as you hung up and turned your car around. Something inside you said you knew exactly who it was

“All of the guys tell me lies, but you don't”

“You just crack another beer”

“And pretend that you're still here”

“This is how to disappear”

Your footsteps echoed through the hall with every slow step you took. You were full of every kind of emotion you could possibly feel. Your ability felt like it was going to erupt like a bird set free from its cage. With every new step you took, your body was telling you to go back. You wouldn’t be able to handle it. But this was the job you’ve devoted yourself to, and you weren’t going to back out now. Chuuya had warned everyone in the building before you got there so the halls were practically empty.

They’d heard the rumors about you and they didn’t dare cross your path in a situation like this. Before you knew it you were in front of the door to the dark, empty brick room used to interrogate.

You took a deep breath a few times in an attempt to calm the beast inside you. You counted to three before slowly opening the door to the room..Dazai stood there chained to the wall by his wrists, waiting for someone to walk in. Of course being dazai, he was singing some song about a double suicide. It had been a while since anyone had come down here. Worst case scenario, that short asshole Chuuya would come down and maybe give him a punch or two (or more likely try and kill him).

What he didn’t expect however, was to see your silhouette standing at the top of the stairs. The second he saw you standing there, in your black, ankle long skirt and grey ruffled blouse that slid off your shoulders exposing the skin of your collar bones and neck which was covered in black cloth like a choker, dazai felt his whole body freeze.

“This is how to disappear”

His eyes were wide with shock as you stepped foot by foot down the stairs. The black heels you were wearing clicked and echoed through the musty room. Before he knew it you were only about 3 feet in front of him.

You never lost eye contact with dazai even as you stopped directly in front of him. Nothing was said. The silence was deafening. It wasn’t until he let out a shaky breath and looked to the floor, that his smile from before returned. When he looked back up to you he could see the pain and mixed emotions behind those empty eyes.

The same eyes that would look at him lovingly the nights the both of them spent in his bed together. The same eyes that told him countless times that they’d loved him more than words could describe. The same eyes that had touched his heart like no other person could. It hurt him to see that they were so empty and clouded now. A distant gaze that would have him dead if looks could kill.

“Its been a while hasn’t it? You’ve gotten taller..” but before he could continue on about the things that had changed about you, His cheek felt like it was on fire. You were standing directly in front of him in a split second, hand colliding with his face as dark purple serpent created of smoke and poison manifested behind you standing almost 12 feet tall.

but it only stood there unmoving no matter how many times you commanded it to attack. Your hand colliding with his cheek again in a fit of rage.

Before he could even react, your knee reached his abdomen in a striking kick to the gut. Hit after hit, you kept going until you could no longer hold onto the pure raw emotion that was going through your head. And for the first time in years, Your grunting turned into sobs, and sobs into screams.

You hit him until your last punch was nothing more that a slight push. You felt weak. Tears had been streaming down onto your shirt and they wouldn’t stop. Dazai spit some blood on the floor before turning his gaze to you again. You were facing the floor as your body shook and trembled with every sob that wracked through you.

“‘it’s been a while’? ‘ITS BEEN A WHILE’??! Really dazai?! That’s ALL you have to say? After what you put me through after you left!? After everything we did?? That’s all you have to say..?!?”.

Dazais heart felt like it was shattering. When you looked back up to him he saw your puffy red eyes and face. The pain from your assaults were nothing compared to the look you were giving him as salty tears rolled down your cheeks. He said nothing.

Even as the blood from his head dripped onto the floor between you both. In almost a second, the chains and cuffed that kept him against the wall were broken and before you knew what had happened he enveloped you in what was literally was a bone crushing embrace.

You screamed and hit at him in an attempt to push him off you which only made him hold onto you tighter. The serpent faded away with his touch and disappeared into the air. You eventually stopped hitting him as your knees felt too weak to hold your body up.

You both dropped to the floor. Dazai did not once letting his grip slack, even as he carried all your weight. He buried his face into your hair as he rocked you back and forth with each cry you let out.

It wasn’t until you slowly put your hands on his back did you feel his own tears fall onto your shoulder. “I’m so sorry... I’m so so sorry...” dazais voice was barely a whisper in your ear. “I loved you so much dazai... I loved you more than anything... why didn’t you take me with you...?” you gripped his coat as you continued to cry in his arms.

“I’m sorry...”

“The California sun and the movie stars”

“I watched the skies getting light as I write As I think about those years”

“As I whisper in your ear”

“I'm always going to be right here”

“No one's going anywhere..”

#bsd dazai #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #angst #dazai osamu #dazai x reader #BSD #bungou stray dogs #im retarded okay #idek how i deleted it #Spotify #it was one of my first works on here ik its bad

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aarcanechaoss · 3 years

Text

3. Strength

We learn some more about our outstanding team and we find that Ryoko is a strong girl... she just lifted Dazai over her shoulder with ease.

Okay Bokuto was actually very funny Ryoko found. Akaashi was a seemingly less dead inside version of Fyodor and she appreciated that greatly.

“Fukami Aoba Johsai’s captain wants to talk to you.” Higuchi said, venom lacing her words. The pinkette rolled her eyes making Akaashi giggle quietly.

“Alright blondie where are they?”

“Don’t call me blondie you hoarder.” She snapped. “Over there in the light blue t-shirt.”

“Yikes someone didn’t get their daily dose of Aku today. Nice chat boys talk soon.”

Oikawa wasn’t stupid enough to say he wasn’t nervous to talk to the pink haired girl, he’s a confident man, stupidly cocky and competitive but he knows when he needs to back down from the alpha dog. Ryoko being the Alpha dog. She was terrifying, even mad dog stared towards their team in awe. They looked friendly enough but Toru Oikawa was astute enough to figure out something was up with the Yokohama team.

Strong

Fast

Incredibly keen

He needed to know and he was going to ask each and every player on that team.

Hirotsu fiddled with his monocle and watched as the students mingled, called parents or friends and generally did their own things, the Fukurodani coach stepped beside him.

“Takeyuki Yamiji.” He says. “Your team is something.”

“Ryuro Hirotsu. Yes they are.” He smiled. “Fukurodani is quite strong too.”

“In comparison to your lot I’ll definitely take that compliment.” The man laughed. “I’m sure you know half the reason Yokohama was invited was so we could learn your plays.”

“We know.” Hirotsu said smugly.

“Then I must ask why agree? Some of us definitely aren’t near your level we were surprised you agreed to join the camp.” Yamiji wondered.

“Let’s just say our lot needs some normalcy. Our school is very much performance based they need to be good at everything they set their minds too. They can do it they are strong kids but a misstep would... uh... anger them. We don’t pressure them to be perfect in any way- we want them to do well... and they enjoy teaching others. The third years like being mentors, the second years want to show off just a little and the first years want to be seen outside of Volleyball. A training camp gives them freedom.” Ranpo interjected.

“Very well said Edogawa.” Hirotsu laughed. Yamiji nodded in understanding.

“Shiratorizawa’s coach needs to be more like you, he’s stuck in his old ways- should have seen his face when your girls weren’t managers.”

“Ugh.” Ranpo sneered. If only they all knew what the Yokohama team really was they’d change their tune.

“Ugh indeed.” Yamiji laughed. “I should go make sure Bokuto isn’t planning on kidnapping Fukami from you he looks so sad now that she’s gone over to Oikawa and their Ace.”

“Perhaps, she has that affect on people.” Hirotsu smiled. She carries a warmth about her that gets hidden by a stone like shell with cracks running through it. The warmth would be a raging fire if not held back.

All of the Yokohama team was like that- they weren’t normal the school made certain they knew that, no one at that school was. Could you even call it a school? Principal Fukuzawa wasn’t entirely pleased by the governments methods of teaching.... non of the teachers were... it’s not teaching if the kids pass out.

Speaking of Hirotsu should go with the other coaches to check on the food Ranpo will be alright alone.

“Oikawa and Iwaizumi right? Blondie sent me over.” The pinkette said lazily. She could see the side eyes of her teammates it’s not like she was going to attack anyone that only happened once and she wholeheartedly believes Twain deserved it.

“Just wanted to meet you. We’ll play against you tomorrow and since we’ll be stuck together for a while maybe become friends?” Oikawa answered. Ryoko snorted at his tone.

“If you have no intentions of being friends don’t pretend I don’t like liars. You seem like a smart guy just ask your questions.”

“Okay fine you got me what gave me away?” Oikawa laughed, genuinely laughed.

“Iwaizumi’s face.” Said Ace went to speak before noticing the quirk on her lips, she was teasing them. “But seriously what’s up milk bread.”

Oikawa spluttered, Iwaizumi snorted and all else who heard snickered quietly. Okay maybe not quietly Tendo found that comment extremely funny.

“Well I was offering a branch of friendship for volleyball note swapping but after that comment.” Oikawa huffed.

“In other words what kind of training do you all do?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Oh- you should talk to Oda and Chuuya on that stuff. I just show up and hit things.” She chuckled. It didn’t seem genuine if the Aoba Johsai players were honest. Her fiery eyes darken slightly, “Honestly we just work well together, like all of you we train each section, play and style to near perfection but again those questions are best for the Captains milk bread.”

“I’m not going to live that down now.” Oikawa grumbled.

“No way milk bread.” Iwaizumi teased. Ryoko twitched and pulled on her braid watching them with an awfully calm watchful gaze, like an animal studying something new. “Let’s let Fukami go back to her team I think her manager wants her.”

Ryoko nodded abruptly and walked back towards the dark haired man she was near attached to.

Fyodor had been watching, as had most of the Yokohama team or at least the Akutagawa’s, Ranpo, Junichiro and coach- who knows what the others were up to... Atsushi was making friends, Chuuya was grumbling to Dazai and Oda with the Karasuno and Nekoma Captains and vices. Ryoko had been with Bokuto and Akaashi but Higuchi had soured her mood (she was now as motioned before speaking with Oikawa and Iwaizumi).

Fyodor often watched, he had no reason to interact unless necessary and no one was coming over to him just yet thankfully. His pale bony fingers played with the silver band on his wrist, it wasn’t a nervous tick or anything just caution. Ryoko and Chuuya wore one too and stupidly many people just assumed they were friend (they are but that’s not the point) ship bracelets. Nope just some spectacular silver bands to keep the three of them controlled.

Purple eyes caught stark grey ones, Chuuya had been thumbing his own bracelet but had made a motion towards Ryoko with his eyes. Fyodor followed till he caught her tense shoulders. The pinkette’s head jerked quickly and only just noticeable to those who knew it was a tick she gained while trying to keep herself controlled- one Chuuya shared. Fyodor didn’t have ticks, he had intelligence and poise... he had a terrible habit to mumble not that anyone would tell him less they face the wrath of their stoic volleyball manager. Ryoko looked uncomfortable, like she wanted to itch at her skin and pull her hair, she was tugging on her braid is that close enough. Her chuckle fell through the air as Iwaizumi called Oikawa milk bread again, more mutters, then the pinkette was soon by his side again.

“Are you alright Ryo?”

“Fine. You? You’re playing with the band again.”

“You noticed?”

“Chuuya is too.” She said pointedly. “I hate wearing it.” She muttered.

“Alright Burnabitch how about we go get dinner.” Fyodor raised a thin brow waiting for the pinkette to get his joke.

“Oh fuck you Rat Bastard it was one time and Kaji deserved it.” She snorted pushing him out the door.

Sakusa watched too, less sternly than Fyodor but definitely more than Atsumu and Osamu were. The trio was off to the side, Atsumu searching for his favourite short ginger (Hinata where are you?).

“You think those two are together?” They heard Lev ask. Yaku hummed in response watching the two Yokohama students walk towards the cafeteria.

“They most certainly aren’t.” Akutagawa scoffed.

“Sound jealous.” Dazai snickered.

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not Dazai.”

“Are too Akuuu!”

“Is the Yokohama team normally this... chaotic? Their energy off the court is so different to their energy on.” Sakusa grumbled.

“It’s like they get to act like kids off the court or something. They aren’t getting in trouble so maybe it’s normal.” Osamu shrugged.

“Maybe. They just were so scary when we played against them.” Atsumu shivered. “Especially their setter... pretty sure he was going to set dunk my face.”

“You were flirting with the female middle blocker.” Sakusa droned.

“HE DID WHAT!”

“That’s you’re cue to run!” Oda yelled gripping what he could of Akutagawa with the arm that wasn’t in a sling.

“Running!”

The evening seemed to go by stagnantly. Everything moving either slowly or too quick bouncing from person to person.

Dinner was nice, sushi and soft drink with some fried chicken if anyone wanted some. Desert was some ice-cream. Pretty simple thankfully. Now everyone was in their designated rooms chatting and messing around until lights out

Atsushi and Tanizaki were bumbling around chatting quietly, Hinata attempted to join but to no avail the two apologised saying their coach sent them a message and ran off. The poor small ginger he was so confused.

“Uh it’s basically bed time man?” Tanaka said as Akutagawa stood to leave.

“Not for me. Good night.”

And with that the door was slammed.

Again the evening felt odd.

“Gin? Ryoko? Higuchi? Where did they go?” Yachi wondered noticing the three empty beds. With hands on her hips she sticks her head out the door but either girl were in sight. “Have any of you seen them?”

“Not since showers.” Kiyoko answered. The girls brows furrowed- where did they go?

“Dazai you can’t go to bed yet.” Oda sighed.

“But I’m tired.”

“No you aren’t dumbass.” Chuuya kicked him.

“Hey what’s going on guys?” Kuroo and Daichi asked.

“We must go coach needs us.” Fyodor answered cryptically. A knock on the door startled everyone.

“Why does this feel like the start of something bad?” Asahi asked quietly before Sugawara whacked him on the head with a mighty negativity be gone.

“Oi Dazai get up lazy ass.”... Ryoko?

“Ryoko?” Bokuto asked with innocent confusion.

“Sup Owlking.” Ryoko grinned with her hands on her hips. “Dazai get up before I make you everyone else has headed over besides you four.”

“I’m going.” Chuuya and Oda said rushing out the door.

“Don’t wanna.” Dazai sung. Fyodor sighed, Ryoko’s eye twitched.

“Don’t say she didn’t warn you.” Fyodor said.

The third years watched as the pinkette strolled into the room slowly towards the seemingly unmovable Dazai and lifted him up.

No struggles or tugs just picked him up and threw him over her shoulder.

The third years sat gobsmacked.

“How?” Oikawa managed to get out.

“I work out.” She winked before sashaying out the door with Dazai swaying and grumbling over her shoulder. Fyodor just sighed again and followed out.

What the hell is up with that team?

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #haikyuu #bsd oc #haikyuu oc #bungou stray dogs oc #haikyuu x bsd #haikyuu x Bungou stray dogs #Ryoko Fukami

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cakers-2000 · 4 years

Text

~Little Nuisance~ (Akutagawa X Fem!Reader)

I’ll hopefully have Dazai finished tomorrow, for now have some of the salty bean Akutagawa!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"And who are you?"

You smiled nervously at the man who towered above you. His face was cold and devoid of any emotion but pure anger. What was his problem?

"Uh, I'm (Y/N). I'm supposed to meet Mori in his office... Do you know where he's located?"

"Mori?" His face contorted in displeasure and before you could even process it a black shadow like figure surrounded by red shot out towards you, the end sharpened and aimed directly at your throat. "What's your business with the boss?"

"I-I-"

"Akutagawa you bastard!"

There was a loud crunching sound and a chair flew straight towards the man you now knew as Akutagawa's face. The black shadow shot upwards and tore the chair to pieces, effectively protecting him from any harm. He turned around, seeming to recognize the voice as you knew it as well.

Chuuya was charging forward, eyes blazing with anger aimed directly towards the other man. You knew how Chuuya could be sometimes so out of fear, without really thinking you jumped in front of Akutagawa, protecting him from the shorter boys wrath. Akutagawa was surprised at your actions, but hid it well.

It took all of Chuuyas strength to plant his feet on the ground and stop himself from charging headfirst into you. He stopped just inches away from you and Akutagawa, the angry look still in his eyes.

"What the hell do you think you were doing bastard!? You could've killed her!"

"I'm sorry, do you two know each other? I don't have the time for your trivial shenanigans at the moment Chuuya."

"Huh!? Why you-" You gave Chuuya a warning glance and he let out a long, shaky breath as he tried to contain his rage.

"Akutagawa, she's my... sister."

"Sister..." He didn't seem to truly believe the other boys words but didn't argue against it, continuing instead to annoy him. "I thought I recognized that awful attitude." He locked eyes with your own and scoffed. "Why is she here? You know the boss's rules."

"She's a new recruit." Chuuya spoke through gritted teeth and you let out a small, practically inaudible sigh. Why did he have to make such a big fuss about everything?

You listened to the two boys fight for a little while before your eyes fell to the clock hanging above the doorway behind Chuuya.

"Huh? You bastard I'm half the man he-"

He stopped mid sentence as he felt your hand gently grab onto his coat and pull to grab his attention. He turned slightly to face you and you pointed up at the clock. "We're late."

"Shit you're right."

His shoulders drooped, not looking forward to the task at hand. "Alright let's go."

He turned away from the other man who stiffened slightly but still held his cool composure.

"It was nice meeting you, uh..."

You stood in an awkward silence for a few seconds before he broke it with a sigh and averted his eyes from your gaze. "Akutagawa."

"(Y/N) let's go."

Chuuyas voice was harsh and you laughed nervously as you scrambled after him. "Coming!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So I see you've already met each other. How wonderful."

You glanced beside you, unable to take your eyes off of the familiar black and white haired man. He was standing at attention, his eyes glued to Mori who sat at his regular spot behind his desk. Chuuya on the other hand was standing directly next to him, his arms crossed over his chest as he gave the two of you a disapproving look. You were nervous. You hadn't even been in the Port Mafia a month, were you already in trouble?

"Um, Mori-Uh no, boss, sorry," You rubbed the back of your neck shyly and Mori slightly laughed but gestured for you to continue. "Boss, why are we here?"

"Ah, you're just like Chuuya here aren't you? You won't even humor me for a few minutes..." He held a pout on his lips and you watched Chuuya roll his eyes. "I've brought you here because we're making a slight adjustment to your... schedule."

You narrowed your eyes at him, unsure of his plans. "What do you mean by that?"

"Chuuya here has quite a lot on his plate as of late so we've come to the decision that you will no longer be placed under his supervision."

"So then what now?"

Mori leaned back in his chair, resting his leg on his knee and clasped his hands together. "While it did take some convincing Chuuya and I have decided it would be best if you were transferred under Akutagawa's supervision." (One quick look at Chuuyas face told you that he was, in fact, not convinced in the slightest).

"What!?"

Both you and Akutagawa shouted out in disbelief at the same time, which only made Mori laugh once again.

"Calm down now you two. Akutagawa all you have to do is show her the ropes. Whenever you leave this building I want her with you."

Akutagawa let out a 'tsk' but didn't argue against him. "Yes sir."

Mori fixed his gaze on you and you tried your hardest to stand at attention (though truth be told you were extremely bummed out). "And (Y/N), all you have to do is listen. You'll be learning the same things you learned with Chuuya, all I ask is you show Akutagawa the same respect."

"Of course boss..."

"Great! I'm glad we all see eye to eye." He held his hand out towards Chuuya and the smaller boy reached into his pants pockets and dragged out a folded piece of paper. "Akutagawa." He stepped closer to Mori who handed him the paper before shooing him with his hand. "Get going now."

With nothing left to say Akutagawa turned on his heels and stalked out of the room. You shared a glance with Chuuya before rushing after the boy who hadn't even bothered to wait for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sooooo where are we going?"

Akutagawa coughed into his hand and said nothing. You were currently walking down a narrow alleyway and he had said nothing to you since you first left Mori's office nearly two hours ago.

"Akutagawa-"

The boy quickly came to a halt and you had to grind your feet in the ground to stop yourself from colliding into him.

"Aku-"

"Be quiet."

"Excuse me!? I-"

You were abruptly interrupted by a loud banging sound behind you. You turned to face the noise but were met face to face with a man charging straight towards you with a metal rod held above his head. You didn't have the time to move out of the way and so you fruitlessly covered your head with your hands and waited for the impact.

Instead there was a loud shout behind you.

"Rashomon."

And the black shadow figure that he had used against you the day you met shot out from his side, slicing through the man with ease. You stared in complete and utter shock. This was what Chuuya meant when he said he could've killed you. This man really could if he wanted too. He let out a small sigh and turned away from you, continuing on down the alleyway.

"We're almost there."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Intruders! Barricade the entrance! Don't let him in!"

The men had just managed to barricade the door closed and lock it tightly when a black figure punctured a hole through the steel and Akutagawa stepped through, his gaze fixated on the man standing on the railing above the rest.

"Wh-Who are you!? How did you break our door down!?"

"Are you Roxas?"

The man let out a 'tsk' noise and slowly backed further from the boy. "What's it to you?"

Rashomon shot out towards the man, the jaws of the creature grabbed hold of the man's lavish coat and dragged him down to your level before slamming him into the wall. It held him in place while Akutagawa slowly moved forward and you followed after.

His men stood in an uncomfortable silence, none willing to challenge the man that had their boss cornered. All except for one. He had quietly dragged a knife out of his coat pocket and was charging straight towards Akutagawa who had at this point made his way over to the man and was holding him to the wall by his shirt collar.

"Akutagawa look out!"

You grabbed the gun from your side which had been given to you by Mori and pulled the trigger, slightly flinching backwards as the loud bang reverberated throughout the warehouse building you were trapped in.

Akutagawa had turned to face you, confusion evident on his features though it turned to one of slight amusement once he saw the man writhing in pain on the ground, a bullet in his shoulder and your shocked facial expressions. He dropped the man to the ground, watching as he curled into a cowardly ball and strutted back towards you.

"So you do have some fight in you."

"I-I didn't know what else to do..."

He let out a humm noise and turned his head away from you, though you swore you could see the small trace of a smile. "I have to admit, I didn't think you had it in you."

He had no idea what he was smiling about. Or why he had even approached you to begin with. He couldn't even explain his own feelings. He glanced in your direction, a smile on your face as you were nearly jumping in your spot with pride. He felt a momentary surge of emotion welling up inside of him, but it turned to dread the second he heard the sound of a gun being cocked right behind his head.

"You're Akutagawa huh? The Port Mafias dog?" The man let out a cocky laugh and smirked. "I should've figured they'd send you." He pressed the cool metal right onto his head and Akutagawa's scowl only worsened. "I'm gonna finish you off right here and now." His eyes fell to your form, the look of pride no longer there and your gun dropped to the ground in fear, in fear that this man would hurt him. "I'll leave your girlfriend here alive to deliver a little message. It would be wise for the Port Mafia to leave me and my men alone."

His finger slowly pressed on the trigger but before he could fully press onto it Rashomon shot outwards and sliced straight through the man's body. He turned back to face the mangled corpse of the man, a scowl on his features.

"And Mori had said to bring him back alive..." He let out a long sigh and shook his head before turning back to face you. "We'll just have to tell him there was a change of plans."

He walked past you but you stood still, staring at him in awe. How could he be so calm?

He turned back to face you, eyebrow raised as you continued to do nothing but stare. His words snapped you out of your trance.

"Let's get going."

You nodded and rushed over, walking side by side out the door.

The last thing you heard was the loud screaming of the men behind you as Akutagawa's Rashomon tore them to bits.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Akutagawa that was so cool!"

Your eyes were lit up in pure amazement as you walked next to the boy back towards the Port Mafia base. He stared over at you in disbelief though a small smile forming on his lips thanks to your words of praise.

"Was it?"

"Well yeah! You destroyed those guys! All it took was one hit from your demon thing and they were down and out!"

He laughed slightly at your enthusiasm though he tried to cover it and play it off like a cough. "It's called Rashomon."

"Well whatever you call it, I thought it was awesome."

You smiled brightly up at him and he tried to cover his face with his hand as he continued to cough though it was futile as you could still see the small hint of red on his cheeks.

Akutagawa... blushing? Was that even possible?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Akutagawa! Welcome back!"

He smiled as he heard your shout from his living room. He shook his head slowly as he closed the front door behind him. This was nothing new. You always showed up at his place, no matter what time of day. He turned around and spotted you walking towards him, arms outstretched and ready to hug him. He rolled his eyes but hugged you back, enjoying the warmth of your embrace.

"I missed you."

He had been gone for longer than usual this time and he had to admit, he felt the same, though he would never admit that. "You're so needy."

You stayed in peaceful silence for a while, knowing that he was only teasing.

That is until he sighed and gently pushed you away from him. "(Y/N), I have to ask you something."

You looked up at him, head slightly tilted in confusion and he smiled warmly at you, a very rare occurrence. "I want you to date me."

You laughed at his poor choice in wording and shook your head. "Are you asking me, or demanding I be your girlfriend?"

He laughed as well and placed his face in front of yours, so close your noses were touching and you thought your heart was going to leap right out of your chest. "I won't take no as an answer."

"You know Chuuya won't be very happy."

"I don't care."

You laughed even more at him and nuzzled his nose with your own. "If you say so... We'll give it a try."

With one quick motion, out of pure joy, he placed a sweet kiss on your lips. His kiss was rather rough, as if he truly was inexperienced but you didn't mind. When he finally let you pull away from him, out of breath but smiling brightly you couldn't help but giggle.

"Geesh Akutagawa, give me some breathing room."

"Sorry..." You could spot the blush creeping onto his cheeks and you reached up to pinch him.

"You're so cuuuute."

He frowned, the color only worsening. "I am not."

"Are too."

And thus began your roller coaster of a relationship. You had to admit, Akutagawa could be a handful, but you loved him all the same and you would put in the time and effort to show him the beauty of what life and love had to offer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist:

@redflannel

#akutagawa ryunosuke #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa scenario #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader

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midnight-strays · 4 years

Text

His Fault (Part Two)

Knee; meet stomach. Fist; meet jaw. Do try to get along. You could feel bile rising up in your throat, but not wanting to lose what you had eaten, you swallowed, leaving a burning sensation in the back of your throat and a bad taste in your mouth that was quickly overtaken by the taste of blood. “You fucked everything up again. That’s all you ever do these days,” the man standing over you sneered, kicking your arms out from under you so your upper body would drop to the ground without the support. Just managing to save your face from the concrete by landing on your elbow, your glared up at him. “If I hadn’t done it, everyone would have died. Yourself included,” you explained yourself, spitting blood onto the floor, getting a little onto his shoe. Growling, you were suddenly sent backwards by a powerful kick to the face. It was a miracle that nothing was broken. “Now listen here you little bitch. I call the shots around here and you will fucking respect me. It is your fault the mission failed, your fault that you’re beaten on the ground now so shut up and take it.”

You stared down at the ground, jaw aching terribly and bound to be bruising already. ‘Your fault’. It wasn’t your fault. You heard the door open and from the corner of your eyes, you saw a familiar pair of boots. Chuuya. ‘Your fault’. No- he left you. You didn’t tell him to leave, you didn’t hint for him to leave. He just left. Chuuya stood there quietly, watching on in silence to see what you would do. He needed to speak to you, but he was not to interfere with these beatings. Mori forbade it. ‘Your fault’. It wasn’t your fault Chuuya wasn’t allowed to help you. It was his fault. ‘Your fault’. You lifted your head, finally looking up at the ginger man who stood about five meters away from you and his eyes held a simple question. ‘What are you going to do about it?’

“I fucking hate him! Why did he have to come here?! Why can’t he just kill himself already?” You cried out, pulling at your hair while Chuuya adjusted his hat on his head, then brushing off any dirt on his jacket from when he dropped it on the ground. By now, Dazai was definitely long gone, getting the information he needed. “I don’t want to suffer anymore Chuuya. He’s ruined my life. I was fucking happy and he had to go and fuck everything up!” You sobbed, wiping your eyes desperately to rid of your tears. Stepping up to you, Chuuya gave his jacket one last shake before setting it over your shoulders. “He’s here because he can be. You suffer because you allow it. So, what are you going to do about it?”

What were you going to do about it? This couldn’t continue on like this. If it continued, it would only end in two similar ways. They’d kill you or you’d kill yourself. You weren’t going to allow this to continue. You couldn’t allow this to continue. Your thoughts were cut off as a boot jabbed into your stomach out of the blue. You tried to suck in a breath out of surprise- you had really been that lost in thought- only to choke and for your lunch to finally come up and spill onto the floor. Not as much as you had thought though. You managed to keep the rest down but trembled pathetically all the same.

You glance back up at Chuuya who had taken a step back and held a grimace on his face. You could practically read his mind. ‘Ew’. Yeah, you felt that way too. You were pretty sure your throat was slowly decaying thanks to how often you threw up these days. Maybe you should just stop eating? No… No! No, this wasn’t going to continue, remember? You were going to make it all stop. “Get up.” It would all be over soon. You were strong. You would make your status known again. You would return to your rightful place on the Port Mafia food chain. “I said get up!”

Swallowing, you slowly pushed yourself up, earning pathetic ‘praise’ for doing so. You brought your hand up, using the back of your hand to wipe away the spit, blood and vomit on your lips before turning around to face those beating you. You watched as they looked you up and down, struggling to stand up straight, looking weaker than ever and unaware- oh so unaware- of what was running through your head. “You fucked up the mission. Anything you want to say about that now bitch?”

You swallowed again and forced yourself to straighten up. Your back cracked, both painfully and satisfyingly as you stood up straight and without warning, a smirk grew on your face. Not a playful smirk, a dangerous one. A warning. Chuuya, who had moved to watch from a better angle, saw this smirk of yours, and for the first time in four years, he felt hope for you swell in his heart. ‘That’s it. Just like that,’ he thought to himself, leaning against the wall with a smirk of his own. This was going to be good. This was going to be oh so entertaining, watching you put these bastards back in their place and take on your title again. Port Mafia Executive (Y/N) (L/N). Mori never took that title from you, you disowned it. You refused to hold it while you were being beaten like this. You were being beaten because you fell into despair. You fell into despair because of him and now you were going to take back what was yours. Your title, your strength, your pride. It would all come back today.

“Get on your knees,” you finally spoke, smirk growing as you saw their eyes widen a little in surprise as your instruction. As if they were about to obey you. You were a traitor. A weak link. Oh, but you hadn’t betrayed them. No one had been betrayed worse than you. “Get on your fucking knees,” you repeated, but still, they failed to listen to you. Oh well, their loss. You rose your shaky hands, pinching your gloves at the fingertips and pulling them off, chucking them to the side. With every move you made, no matter how slow or how shaky, it sent a shiver up Chuuya’s spine. This is why he wanted you. This is why Dazai should have never gotten you and why you should have chosen him instead. You were fierce, a force to be reckoned with. And if you were the type to lose control, you could very well break every bone in their bodies. Luckily, despite your shattered mental state, he didn’t have to worry about you going over bored. You were weak from the beatings. You wouldn’t have the strength to go that far. Just far enough to put them in their places. He hoped.

“I… am your superior. I am the one in charge. I’m the one who makes all the calls here and I’m the one who told you to get on your fucking knees!” Your voice steadily rose and as you spoke, you stepped closer to the towering men. They weren’t afraid, but they were stunned. They were trying to process what was happening. Everyone knew who you were, what you were capable of, but it seemed people had forgotten while you were in your sad pit of grief. With your subordinates not moving to protect themselves or hurt you, you reeled your arm back, clenched your fist and even without using your ability, Black Mirror, you sent the man before you stumbling back with a powerful punch to the jaw. Your ability would have been useless here, it needed to be activated during the beatings to fully counter them with your own hit later. It didn’t matter anyway. You just needed your own raw strength to do this. You wouldn’t do it any other way.

Chuuya watched on as you beat the three men into submission. He watched as you stumbled from aching legs but made others fall onto their arses from the sheer strength of your hits. After the mackerel left, you never stopped training. You trained harder. You trained harder but never seemed to grow stronger because you were allowing yourself to be punished for something that wasn’t your fault. He watched as you kicked a subordinate across the room, a sickening crack bouncing off the walls after your boot made contact with his jaw. No one got back up. They all sat or laid there, beaten worse than you were. A clear message to everyone else. You were not to be fucked with any longer.

“Get on your knees,” you ordered one last time, lowly this time, watching as all three, slowly moved to kneel before you, giving in. You had won. You were an executive. You weren’t going to take their shit anymore. If they wanted to live, they had to listen. They had to obey. “Good boys,” you praised, leaning down to pick your gloves back up before looking over to your dear friend who started to slowly clap his hands. “I was wondering when you were finally going to do that. Good thing I came to speak to you today then,” he claimed with a grin, that raspy voice of his beckoning you closer as you pulled your gloves on over your bruised knuckles.

“Yeah, well, whatever you need to tell me, it can be done over dinner. Your treat. I’m freakin starving,” you claimed, rubbing your aching shoulder. Damn you were sore. From both beatings. You looked forward to that ever lasting ache in your ribs to finally fade away, for the taste of bile to not reach your tongue until it was justified. You looked forward to the expression on your boss’ face when you walked into his office next, wearing both your pride and title. Chuuya let out a laugh, straightening his hat and nodding his head in agreement.

“I’ve been trying to take you out for dinner for years. I don’t think that’d be a problem.”

#chuuya x reader #dazai x reader #his fault #his fault part two #dazai #chuuya #osamu dazai #chuuya nakahara #bsd #bungou stray dogs #scenario #bsd x reader #reader is strong #reader doesn’t need a man

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straydawg-writing · 3 years

Text

𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖌𝖊𝖙-𝖒𝖊-𝖓𝖔𝖙

ᴅᴀᴢᴀɪ ᴏꜱᴀᴍᴜ.

• bungo stray dogs series

chapter 3: 𝖉𝖆𝖋𝖋𝖔𝖉𝖎𝖑 — 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖘𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌

✥ ⊱ ────── ♔ ────── ⊰ ✥

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊

┊ ┊ ┊ ✫ ˚✩

┊ ┊ ✫

┊ ┊

┊ ⊹ ☪︎⋆

✯ ⋆

˚✩

"COME IN."

it nearly took all of kita's might to push open the monstrous gothic-styled doors of the boss' office. as of late, mori had been assigning her more and more tasks that she readily accepted. she had nothing else to do, no other reason to live, except for dedicating herself to the port mafia.

daylight emanated from a long wall of floor-to-ceiling windows, brightening up the dark space and shining on the royal maroon carpet. ahead of her sat the boss, in all of his dignity and glory.

"you called?" kita began, standing tall when she spoke.

mori was not a man she wanted to appear frail in front of. kita was confident she would win over his trust and respect in due time, and was determined not to waste the chance he had given her when he had taken her in. as a woman in the port mafia, she had to work harder than anyone else to be taken seriously. many believed that she didn't belong there, but she was okay with that. after all, kita had no intention of being mixed with juvenile delinquent men.

"you did well on your last job. but of course, you know that i can't have you rest and let that eager spirit rot away."

"i'd expect that, boss. what did you have in mind?" kita asked, twiling a strand of black hair between her fingers.

"this job involves retrieving the marcello family's confidential files. they've attempted hiding a business of money laundering despite our... how should i say this? our 'small' warning example. the mission should be easy enough."

the sound of tall double doors parting open echoed throughout the room and interrupted kita's response. she felt the presence of someone else coming in, stopping only when they were right next to her.

"hey, boss."

"nice to see you dazai," mori greeted the boy, intertwining his hands and resting them on his desk.

dazai was here. why did she suddenly feel butterflies, when not even meeting the port mafia boss stirred nerves like these within her?

"i don't understand. if the mission is so easy, what is he doing here?" kita glanced his way, startled when she saw him staring back.

"did i forget to mention? although just one person is needed to steal the item, this mission requires two people. the marcello family enjoys their parties. you'll be infiltrating their next one, as an unsuspecting couple."

everything slowed down. kita was sure she misheard, mori's last words hanging on his lips and repeating in her mind like a mantra. go as a couple?

you could ask her to kill an army of men and it would be simpler than this. she had only just met him last night –no– it would be easier if she didn't know him at all.

"is that agreeable with you, kita?"

it wasn't like she had a choice, a job was an order in disguise. mori had that same look on his face that he pulled whenever he was picking out a new babydoll dress for elise. the man was up to something, and she wasn't sure how to feel.

"sounds good to me!" dazai answered for her, shoving his hands in his pockets.

then it was settled. looking towards the bandaged boy, kita shook off her wariness and cracked a smile. she wouldn't mind getting to know him better.

"alright. how bad could it be?"

kita's mirror reflection stared back at her, beauteous and sweet. a silk black dress hung daintily on her hips, and a laced corset traced her curves. ringlets of jet-black hair spilled over her collarbones, the midnight shades creating a striking contrast with her ivory pearl skin that was spellbinding. she sighed as she closed the drawer which held her lipstick. despite her natural desire to stand out in a crowd, kita knew that tonight she would be dressing to blend in. still, she couldn't help but ask herself in the back of her mind if she was dressing to impress.

'it's just a mission. just a mission. just a mission,' she told herself as she twisted open the doorknob of her room. little did she expect to see the man himself, standing right outside of her bedroom door.

"how long have you been standing there?" she rested her hand on her hip, pursing her lips.

"from my perspective, it looks like you were the one waiting for me to get here," dazai said, holding out a single red camellia flower.

"'you're a flame in my heart', huh?" kita observed, taking the flower in her pale hands.

"is that a confession?" he asked, with a cheeky grin.

oh, so he's a flirt.

"that's just what the flower means, stupid."

she took this chance to take in the sight of him. his hair was the same as always –tousled chocolate locks falling over his sweetly intense brown eyes– and you were glad he hadn't changed it. dazai's usual bandages were covered up by the sleeves of his black slate tux. the suit looked made for him, fitting his body perfectly in every crevice. you had to admit, dazai looked a little bit handsome.

"i know, i asked chuuya. who knew he spoke flowers too? although... he did try starting a fight in the middle of the courtyard, calling me an 'enemy of all women,'" dazai pouted, making finger quotations before he quickly changed moods again. it was something she had noticed he seemed to do often. his playful eyes were now dripping with a more flirtatious undertone.

"the boss ordered us to personate two fiances madly in love. so... let's play the part, shall we?" dazai mischievously bowed down to her height, gently taking kita's small hand in his and leaving a kiss on her smooth skin. he knew he had caught her in his trap- she couldn't argue with the boss himself.

kita let out a small exhale, interlacing his hands with her own.

"fine, you win. but drop the 'madly in love.'."

"mr. and mrs. iwazaki-to-be?" the doorman asked for confirmation, with a paper and quill to cross off guest names.

"that's us!" dazai enthusiastically expressed with an arm around kita, placing a kiss on her temple to sell the act.

the doorman, who seemed to be in his late sixties, looked up from his paper and sent the pair a warming smile.

"i miss my girl every day... congratulations." he held up his ring finger to show them, and motioned for them to join the party. "enjoy the night!"

the pair entered the party through a towering marbled creme archway. space had opened up to accommodate a grand scene of painted people with most likely debatable motives, drinking from their champagne glasses and dancing to a luxurious orchestra. a waft of expensive colognes and perfumes flooded their senses. it smelt like the rich. businessmen stroke deals, wives exchanged the newest slice of gossip, and old men watched from the sidelines, whistling for girls in their royal dresses of all colors.

kita suddenly developed an appreciation for not having come alone. the fake engagement ring decorating her ring finger marked her as claimed. in other words: kept the old, perverted, corrupted politicians away. not as if she couldn't beat them to a pulp if need be.

a large marble staircase that matched the entrance winded the perimeter of the main floor, leading up to the room which held their files. but for now, their foremost concern was appearing ordinary, becoming like everybody else of the night. to play the part of the happy-go-lucky-couple-in-love.

the boss had asked her first. this was her mission.

grabbing dazai by the chin who was distracted by the red-velvet cupcakes on display, kita turned his face down to look at her.

"dance with me."

"okey. but yowr sqwuisching mey fasce," dazai replied, face indeed squished as his lips were forced into a pout. she let go with a grin, satisfied with his response.

maneuvering through men in studded suits and women in extravagant dresses that took up half of the floor, a new waltz had begun by the time she pulled him onto the dance floor with her.

"i forgot to tell you earlier, but you clean up really nicely, dazai." kita commented, her arms loosely tangled around his neck.

they turned elegantly, in tune with the slow music, and standing closer than ever before. kita could feel his breath on her skin as he held her waist. this close to him, his natural scent was intoxicating. he was rich, like caramel. a breath of fresh air from the sea of headache-inducing colognes. if by the end of this dance, her breath was taken away, she would know why.

"you look... irresistible," dazai's eyes widened slightly. he kept his attention on her as he whimsically guided the girl across the dance floor, taking her anywhere he pleased– and she let him. no matter what dazai did, he always had the same fanciful air about him. even now, she felt he was taking her into a dream.

the warmth between them continued to increase, along with their rising heartbeats, until the song had faded into the distance and the only thing that mattered was their steps in sync, their breathing one.

'it's all an act.'

"let's find a room upstairs," he whispered in her ear, pulling her out of the crowd and up the staircase once the song had ended.

any guests attending the event were too engrossed in their own party and pleasure to notice them disappear. from where kita stood, she could see them all dancing like porcelain dolls in a make-believe show.

"this one." dazai pointed, opening a door with a plaque that read, 'j. marcello's office.'

time was of the essence, and yet dazai didn't seem the least bit concerned as he strolled over to the mahogany desk that sat underneath a window. he opened one drawer in particular with a mass of cigarettes the owner had never bothered throwing out, and tossed them all into the trash can.

"if he wants to meet his end with an insufferable death, this'll do it." dazai tsked and shook his head as he tossed another one behind him and scored. "couldn't ever be me..."

"don't you think he'll notice?"

"he'll also notice when his papers are gone. i'm simply doing him a favor~" dazai chuckled.

kita was digging through files and trying to distract herself from the taller male as much as possible, ever since the dance they shared so intimately lingered in her mind. she was so distracted that she didn't hear the sudden sound of a door opening, and just as quickly as the door opened, she had been pulled into dazai's embrace and leaned over the desk.

his soft lips crashed into hers, causing an obvious expression of surpise as she felt his warm hands riding up the side of her face, the other arm leaning on the desk behind her and trapping her underneath him– but she guessed it was only to give the mysterious person the wrong idea.

she only hesitated for a moment before kissing him back, going along with the act as she pulled on his tie to regain her balance. the kiss barely lasted about five seconds, but to kita it felt like an eternity. his kiss was so sudden she had already ran out of breath and was running on nothing at all but his own oxygen.

"s-sorry! you can't be in here!" an embarrassed voice called out, shutting the door as soon as it had opened.

when the door had closed, dazai swiftly released his hold on her.

"all that and still no files," he sighed, scratching his head.

"you sure about that?" kita smirked, running her tongue over the lingering taste of sugar-coated lips. peaking from behind her back was a folder that she had stolen from the drawer's hidden compartment.

"kita! oh i could kiss you," dazai's mouth opened in childish awe. if this were an animation, his eyes would have sparkled.

"you already did. guess you couldn't resist huh?"

"aren't you the one who kissed me back?" he raised an eyebrow.

"touché," she clicked her tongue, rolling the folder and hiding it in her bra while walking out of the room with dazai in tow.

"wow, you can fit that in there?" he pondered out loud.

"of course i ca-" she began, before being cut off by a horde of men in black suits, guns pointed.

"IT'S THEM! don't even TRY letting them escape," a voice boomed, with a round of gunshots firing all around them soon after.

kita sighed, uninterested in the new turn of events. she could use her ability now, but it wasn't worth it. they had gotten what they came for, so whatever happened now was of no concern to her. dazai slowly turned around, eyes coming to an emotionless standstill as he allowed the bullets their chance to plunge into him, but always missing.

"geez, your aim sucks." kita stated, pulling her own knife out of a leg garter that hid underneath her dress and sending it piercing through the cheeks of a full line of men.

they dropped, guns casting across the floor. dazai blankly considered them before picking one up for himself.

"i hope you don't mind if i borrow this," he drawled, flipping it over in his hands before stretching out his arm in front of him and shooting the men left. he aimed to kill.

with that taken care of, kita bent down and plucked her knife out of the unfortunate victim's flesh. she wiped it off on the fabric of her black dress.

"p-please. don't kill me," the timid cry of a sole survivor pleaded for his life.

he was bowed to the ground, blood seeping through his suit and making it an impossibly darker shade of vantablack. what a shame he still lived.

with one look from dazai who lazily reached a hand for a crimson-red cupcake, he aimed and shot with the other.

the party was all but dead now.

in the midst of the bloodbath, dazai had taken a bite out of the dessert, and now white frosting dusted the tip of his nose like snowflakes. using her thumb, kita wiped the icing away and licked the sweetness off of her finger.

"hey!"

"you took too long to eat it!" she explained after stealing the cupcake away from him, eating the rest of it as as they stepped out from the bloodied marble walls and into the black of the darkened night.

｡✣✤✥━━━━━━━━━━━━✥✤✣｡

❝𝙰𝙿𝙾𝙲𝙾𝙻𝚈𝙿𝚂𝙴❞

1:05 ──♡────── 2:53

|◁ II ▷|

— ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴘꜱ, ᴍʏ ʟɪᴘꜱ, ᴀᴘᴏᴄᴀʟʏᴘꜱᴇ

ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴘꜱ, ᴍʏ ʟɪᴘꜱ, ᴀᴘᴏᴄᴀʟʏᴘꜱᴇ

｡✣✤✥━━━━━━━━━━━━✥✤✣｡

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