#ddlc poly

[cloud-monki]

I’ve decided to leave Reddit, but I’m too emotionally attached to my posts part 33: DDLC POLY BEST SHIP

[ddlcpoly]

Normally I wouldn’t post stuff from other apps, but cmon. This is perfect.

[koolaidcultistt]

*throws this to my ddlc followers like a zookeeper throwing meat to a big cat* 💫

[looneyllesbian]

the ddlc plus side storys are basically just every girl falling in love with sayori as she’s being an oblivious dumbass in the best way possible prove me wrong.

[timefospookies]

All the Dokis are in love and dating btw. If you even care

MC’s there too

[natyurifan]

Cute ships

Art by @buttercatrho

[nagi-ddlcpolyblog]

Natsuki’s shared residence is, as of right now, occupied by two people. Allegedly, it’s scheduled to be occupied by three more in about ten minutes; the trio’s announced their arrival from the train and are on their way back in a cab, probably. 

It’s been an okay three day period. Sayori makes good company, what with almost always being at home. Save for the place being quieter than usual – the first night would be rough to deal with, were it not for the fact Sayori’s very being screams the concept of comfort by merely existing – Natsuki has been fine. She’s been fine. It’s just three days and that’s not even close to bringing her to her knees; hell, she’s clingy at times, isn’t she? Maybe it’s for the better that some of her partners had some time off.

Her thoughts are cut short by the rustling of keys muffled beneath the other side, making Natsuki’s heart skip a beat. The way she throws herself upwards from lying down to sitting up on the couch nearly makes her dizzy, but the feeling is supplanted almost immediately by the flood of sound; the door comes open, Sayori’s footsteps quicken down the stairs and here are Yuri, Monika and Mabel; holding the travel case, breathing out in relief and dangling the keychain from her finger, respectively. 

For the next several minutes, Natsuki sort of just stares. At the smiles and the hugs and kisses – particularly focusing on the way Yuri bear-hugs Sayori without any semblance of hesitation – and a part of her feels… wrong. Maybe it’s the part of her that thinks this isn’t worthy of so much fanfare, maybe it’s the part of her that yearns to get up and join them.

She allows herself to lean on Monika’s shoulder when she and Yuri decide to tumble onto the couch with Natsuki. Mabel is, it turns out, occupied with being squeezed by the brunt of Sayori’s tight embrace and having her chest nuzzled by a freckled button nose; Natsuki’s gut tingles and, involuntarily, she melts closer to Monika.

“How’re you doing, hon?” Monika’s voice gently falls over Natsuki from above, followed by a kiss on the scalp. 

“I’m fine,” she answers. “I’m happy you guys are back.” 

Monika beams. “Aw, we’re happy to be back too.” 

The nice moment is short-lived, apparently. At the sound of two footsteps hurrying back upstairs, Yuri sighs. “I… believe my body would quite prefer the comfort of a bed right now,” she says. 

Monika cocks her head over; “Yeah, me too.”

There goes the comfort of Moni’s warmth and Yuri’s presence. Natsuki is left to lie her head on the rough angle of the couch’s armrest. 

“Are you coming, cupcake?” Monika stops in her path.

“Uh, yeah. In a minute.”

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

The good news is the house is back to bustling again, and Natsuki enjoys some semblance of respite in that. The bad news is she’s given another pointless excuse as to why she can’t just grow a pair and go upstairs. 

The dishes left over from lunch at the early afternoon did not turn out to haunt her in the evening as she imagined. Just a few plates and a pair of tupperware.

The sound of the water from the faucet mixes in with the water from the shower Sayori is using upstairs. Both of those sounds mostly mask the voices from the other room. Mostly. Every time Natsuki hears a giggle or a murmur when the water dies down, it’s like there’s a bull headbutting the inside of her chest. She’s taken a second to realize just how hard she’s been scrubbing this quite clean plate. The load of dishes is spread around the space surrounding the sink, all clean and lathered in soap. She rinses everything off, rests her fists on the edge of the countertop, and sighs. 

…

Her heart shouldn’t be beating this much. It reminds her of how she felt at each initial confession back in her high school days (and the single one from college). It’s almost humiliating to feel like this, like some child who can’t be honest about her own feelings; what kind of moron builds a wall around her own wants for some petty idea that she’s being too much? This moron does, and she’s–

Ugh!

Natsuki all but literally throws herself to the side, and she’s found herself in the very center of the open door frame to the bedroom all but one of her lovers are resting in. She peers in like a deer in the headlights, holding her hands together, and as the silence wilts away and the trio of heads turn to face her, the first smile she sees quells the burning tension that threatened to erupt inside her chest.

“H-Hey.” Natsuki utters. 

“Took you long enough,” Monika coos, shuffling as to turn to face Natsuki completely. 

“You okay?” Mabel asks.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, it’s just…” Natsuki’s lips waver, she dares to step forward once, then twice, until she’s hesitating at the edge of the bed.

“Do you mind… if I…?”

Suddenly the soft grasp of Mabel’s hand wraps around her wrist; she yelps as she’s pulled in, skirting on her knees over the surface of the blanket, and soon enough there’s giggles filling the room as she’s put between Mabel and Monika. The latter gently arranges the soft fabric to properly include her in the cuddle pile. 

Natsuki and Mabel briefly exchange gazes; when Natsuki’s stared for too long, when the prickly feeling in her head has gotten too intense to bear, she buries her face into the hoodie-clad girl, finds her hand amidst the mess of tangled limbs, and lets herself feel serenity fill her head to toe when their fingers interlock and Monika’s soft breath warms the back of her head.

“We missed you dearly, darling.”

“Mhm.”

With a sigh, Natsuki breathes weakly, “I missed you too.”

The sound of the shower slowing to a trickle bathes the room in newfound silence, leaving just the faint noise of fabric meeting fabric, of breaths filling the air. In just a minute, Natsuki will be joined by another one of the people that make her happy. 

And, truth be told, considering how fulfilled she feels now compared to before, maybe she really did miss her girlfriends for three days. And maybe there’s nothing wrong with that.

AN: sorry for the wait I've been busy being anxious LMAO

[monikalizzie]

Morning Kisses With Sayonika

My first DDLC fanfic of Sayonika, but there are mentions of the club being one large polycule

[Sayonika] [Insecurity] [Fluff] [Mild sexual tension but other than that, SFW ] [lesbian] [comfort] [Not a video game AU]

If there are any weird text errors, it’s because i copy pasted this from my google doc. I despise thee google docs

Sayori woke up in a haze. She moved and shuffled, trying to get into a more comfortable position, but found that her arms were tangled up in the weighted blanket she fell asleep in and Monika’s limbs. She groaned as she tried getting up, without waking Monika up. She failed in doing so as she woke up with a big yawn. Sayori was looking down at her. One of her many loves. She looked so messy compared to her prim and proper appearance usually. How cute Sayori thought. When Monika opened her eyes she gave a small smile

“Hello Sayori. What are you doing up there?” Monika said with a soft tone

Sayori gave a smile back “I’m just getting up. Untangling myself from you, and this blanket”

“Let me help you”

Monika pulled her arm out and managed to undo the blanket that managed to tie itself around the both of them.

“Alright, get up sleepyhead” Sayori said, giggling as she sat up

Monika slowly managed to sit up and look at Sayori. She laughed at Sayori’s joke.

“You calling me the sleepyhead? You of all people? Come on”

Sayori sat back down next to Monika, wrapping her arm around her, and softly gripping the fabric of her very loose shirt that she wore to sleep. She leaned in and smelled her hair. Still fresh from the shower that she took yesterday. The smell was vaguely vanilla with lemon. Monika never concerned herself with the smells of her hair products and yet she smelled amazing anyways. How lucky. Sayori was also lucky to be able to smell her like this.

“Don’t point out my contradictions… that’s not fair!” Sayori whined into the crook of Monika’s neck

Monika laughed a little louder. She wasn’t this used to Sayori in this state as she was the last member of the literature club to join the polycule. Sayori was adorable like this. Pouty and cute. Monika couldn’t help herself

“Awhh is that right? You don’t likey when I point out things?” Monika teased playfully, her hand lazily tracing her stomach in incomprehensible patterns

Sayori scoffed, but couldn’t hide her smile, so she buried her face in the blanket and mumbled some sort of flustered response. Monika hugged her from behind, her soft body enveloping her arms as she squeezed her tight.

“You are so mean to me. I’ll tell Yuri!” Sayori groaned

Monika kissed the back of her neck and squeezed her love rolls a little.

“I love you too”

Sayori mumbled something to the effect of I love you as well. Monika placed her lips on the back of her neck and kissed it and she felt Sayori squirm beneath her. Sayori whined and moved

“It’s too early for this Monika”

Monika hugs her a bit tighter and rests her chin on her shoulder

“I promise, after breakfast we’ll do something”

Sayori perked up a little, smiling widely. She turned to look at Monika

“Breakfast?”

Monika nodded, leaning in slightly closer to give a kiss on Sayori’s cheek, but she moved so that their lips met in the middle. Monika’s eyes widened before she completely leaned in. Placing her hands on her waist before fully reciprocating the kiss. Sayori couldn’t hold in her giggles and in between kisses. Monika felt Sayori’s hands rest on her hips. Her fingers softly pressed against her skin. Monika grunted a little

“Sensitive…”

Sayori pulled her hands away

“Oh, I’m sorry I di-”

Monika cut off Sayori

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it”

Sayori’s confidence surged at that. Monika really liked her, and it made her feel confident to place her hands on her hips again. Monika shifted and stretched, her shirt lifting up slightly. Sayori looked away. She bit her lip trying not to look. Sayori wasn’t the most clean minded person. She loved all the girls and the way they looked. She always wanted to have her hands all over them, but she knew she probably shouldn’t. Monika put her hand on Sayori’s cheek and turned her to look at her when she was done stretching.

“What are you feeling shy about? We just had an entire night of us being stuck together in your bed”

Sayori looked down. Gripping the hem of her own shirt and pulling on it a little.

“Yeah, but I shouldn’t be looking at you like, y’know. Like I did there”

Monika covered her mouth, trying not to chuckle in case she felt that was rude

“We just kissed! You don’t have to hide your pretty face just because you like me!”

Sayori once again couldn’t bear to show her reddening face. She buried her face in her palms groaned

“Monika, you cheeky thing! You know what you are doing!”

Monika nodded

“Yup. And you are unable to do anything about it pretty girl”

Sayori's face planted into Monika’s chest, trying so desperately not to look at Monika. 

“I’m not pretty! You are!”

Monika put her hand on Sayori’s head, intertwining her fingers in her hair, slowly moving her hand in circles.

“You are pretty Sayori. Don’t deny that” Monika said softly, never ignoring signs of insecurity when she sees it

“You don’t have to be so concerned for me y’know?” Sayori looked up at Monika

“What kind of girlfriend would I be if I wasn’t concerned? You are my girlfriend. Me and the rest take care of each other, that includes you darling”

Sayori nodded solemnly 

“Yeah I know… but it just sometimes feels like maybe I’m the odd one out. Natsuki is cute, Yuri is mysterious and pretty and you are so… perfect? I know it’s something you like to show rather than being truly perfect, but that persona is so real to me. And me? What am I to the rest of you?”

Monika listened to Sayori, no longer cutting her off with a compliment, understanding that she needed to talk about this. This was the first time they cuddled one on one without others piling on, so she might feel more insecure when not surrounded by people she loved. Either way Monika was always decent at one on one conversations with people.

“Sayori, what you are is the heart and soul of our group. Our little gay literature club wouldn’t be the same without you. Even when it was us 3 without you, we always wanted you to join our polycule because… what is a polycule without a heart and soul? Besides, you are still pretty. I still love each little bit of you. Sure I know it’s better to appreciate someone for their personality but I’ll be damned if I don’t say that I love your body too.”

Sayori listened. It started out as listening half heartedly but soon she was invested. Monika always used such complicated grammar when talking with passion. Sayori soon sighed

“Sorry. I got insecure again. I have so many lovely girlfriends and I just doubt myself sometimes”

Monika smiled softly at her

“I wish you could see how gorgeous you are. I sometimes just want to make you look in the mirror and point out everything I love about you while- I’ll stop myself there, it’s too early for me to go lusting away”

Sayori’s brain short circuited at that last part. She knew she was well liked by Monika but she never was told directly that she was lusted after. Monika and her plethora of sayings that Sayori understood, but never would have used herself. She never managed to dance around certain topics since she always stumbled with more complex language. She talked directly so she just blurted out

“You are also hot…”

Monika seemed to pause for a bit, stammer and stumble over her words before she composed herself

“Don’t do that type of thing to me! I know I talk big but you can’t compliment me back like that!”

Sayori realised she now had the advantage, she was way out of her depth, but went for the chance. Her tone became more sultry, almost as if she was dragging her words across Monika’s back

“You do talk big. For what? For it to all come crashing down when I call you a good girl~?”

Monika’s eyes widened, she lifted up her hands, not knowing what to do with the excess of emotions. She protested

“I yield! I yield!”

Sayori laughed at her, with a joking cruel edge, before she put a hand on her lower back and scooted over

“Baby, honey, sweetie, darling~. We both know I have no idea what that word means”

Monika squirmed and tried covering her face

“Curse upon you vixen” she mumbled

Sayori laughed before slowly running her hand up Monika’s back, and then resting it on her shoulder

“We should get dressed”

Monika nodded

[banabiohazard]

Monika: Nat how long have we been together?

Natsuki: Likeee six years, why?

Monika: Do you still have monkey brain?

Natsuki: Huh????

Monika: *snorts through a laugh* when we were first starting off you said you got on my nerves because ‘monkey brain, hot girl equals any attention good attention’ is that still true?~

Natsuki: *rapidly turning red and fidgeting with her fingers* uh well, yknow I mean not any attention! I, you’re, I still like pissing you off but.. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT.

Monika: *shit eating grin of complete satisfaction with herself*

Natsuki: STOP!

[doki-literature-club]

Sorry we haven't posted in a while. We've all been quite busy, but I felt I had to jump on for our American followers.

I sincerely hope it'll be ok, but here some advice if you wish to listen.

Please stay strong. If you are able to leave the country and wish to, that is a good thing for you to do. If you can't, which many people can't, stay strong. If you're in America, don't mention to anybody if you or anyone you know is transgender or an immigrant. Don't talk about politics. That can be ammunition for someone and can get someone hurt now.

If you're religious in any way, feel free to pray. I'm not personally religious, but it never hurts to try.

In conclusion, don't lose hope. He's old and weak. He might not make it to the end of his term, by impeachment, natural causes, or many other means.

Sincerely,

Monika 🎹

[heartbeatbookclub]

About the partners headcanons ask, i meant the latter! sorry if it wasn’t obvious haha

shit this has been sitting in my askbox a while--

I have been thinking about this a good while, but I did also...kinda forget about it for a little lmao...part of the time spent thinking was of how exactly I wanted to format it. I considered doing more of a bullet points sort of thing, but I think in general it's just easier to do this the way I typically explain things on this blog.

Rather than doing specific explanations of the potential relationships between each computation of the girls together, I'm going to speak broadly over each of them and talk about it in a more Poly Dokis sense, since that's typically how I do it anyway. With that intro out of the way, here's my vision in no particular order:

Sayori in general is a very lovey sort of person, regardless of if you're just close friends, or in an actual relationship. As a result, not a great deal actually changes in that respect. She is an absolute cuddlebug and physical touch is definitely her top love language to give, to most people's enjoyment, and some people's slight annoyance (Natsuki). I imagine she works down everyone's personal bubble until it feels weirder to not have a Sayori nuzzling somewhere on their body. She likes playing with everyone's hair. They also like playing with hers; it's a win-win. She's also a big fan of spending time with the others, whatever it is. Anything is fun as long as they're together.

On terms of receiving, Sayori very much likes words of affection, though she doesn't always believe them. She needs a lot of reassurance and reciprocation to be sure that she's doing enough in the relationship, and has a constant worry that she's being overbearing, or that her own failures and stupidity makes her a burden to others around her. Regardless of who she's with, all 3 of them try their best to make it clear that she's doing perfectly fine, and they still love her, obviously.

Sayori relies very heavily on Monika emotionally. I think that's a universal truth of their relationship no matter how it's spun. She does her best to be honest with the other 2, hard as that might be sometimes, but Monika is the only one she feels she can truly be herself around, and Monika is more than happy to oblige. In return, Sayori tries her hardest to help her as well.

She genuinely likes listening to Yuri talk about whatever she's passionate about. It makes her happy to hear Yuri so passionate about something, and she's always glad to encourage her to come out of her shell more. She lets Yuri go at her own pace on terms of how they take their relationship and in general gives her a lot of patience, but as long as Yuri doesn't mind, she will take every opportunity she can get to cuddle up to her. Once she gets past her initial embarrassment, Yuri really appreciates her wordless style of affection and makes an effort to reciprocate. Occasionally, she uses Sayori like a weighted blanket.

Sayori understands that Natsuki needs more space, but is quite persistent in her efforts to break her out of her shell, too. Natsuki is initially pretty put off by Sayori's style of affection (go figure) but doesn't exactly dislike it, it's more like...not what she's used to. She initially rebuffs her, but doesn't exactly fight it very hard. She's also glad to have someone to genuinely talk about manga with, though she gets the sense that Sayori isn't exactly reading into it as much as she is...

Monika has never been in a real relationship in her life, and it shows! She treads very lightly, feeling completely out of her depth, uncertain of what's correct or expected, as though that's a normal question to have in a relationship. She's fairly naive and stumbling her way through it to start. Once she finds her footing though, she's happy to be able to provide love to the people closest to her. Maybe too happy. She tries exceptionally hard to be a good girlfriend, with little attention given to herself. This is something the other 3 try very hard to make up for.

Her primary love language has gotta be words of affection. She loves using pet names and giving lots of compliments. Once she gets over the initial embarrassment of saying "I love you", it becomes her most used phrase, and no matter how many times they hear it, it absolutely melts the others every time. She's also a huge acts of service girlie. She loves being able to buy them lunch, or give them a ride, or help them with homework, or something. She's absolutely the type of person to buy you a lunch when she hears you don't have money for one, and won't hear anything about you paying her back.

She is incredibly bad at receiving affection. She'll minimize your compliment, she'll make sure she gives you something in return for any act of service, and she doesn't want to waste your time if you have somewhere else to be. The other 3 work incredibly hard to just get her to accept that they love her, too, which forces her to introspect on the matter. The one thing she doesn't suck at receiving is physical affection, and consequently it becomes her favorite, particularly from Sayori.

Oh yeah, this is somewhat offhand, but she's a terrible kisser, at least to start. Just thought I'd throw that in too

I think the biggest thing I'd like to establish in what the other 3 see in her is that she makes you feel absolutely safe and welcome in her presence. Whenever you talk to her, suddenly all of your problems and everything stressing you out are miles away, and everything is going to be okay. And she is very happy to provide that for other people; hearing that always makes her heart happy.

She tries her absolute hardest to make sure Sayori gets everything she needs in the validation department. Monika and Sayori reflect each other a lot, to the point that they both generally know what the other is thinking even when they don't voice this. Whenever Sayori is refusing to say something because she doesn't want to create friction, but it needs to be said, Monika will say it for her. Monika voices her needs when she doesn't want to, and she trusts Sayori to do it in return.

She vents to Yuri often whenever she just needs someone to listen, and Yuri likes to rub her back to ease her stress. She does her best to listen to what Yuri has to say in return, as well as humor her talking about her interests, but has a hard time saying she shares the same passion she does for them.

Monika is the one who most enjoys flustering Natsuki, and is also typically the most successful. Natsuki, of course, really enjoys turning the tables and flustering her in return. Natsuki in particular finds it funny that Monika has turned to manga as something of a guilty pleasure.

This is something else tangentially related, but I just realized that because I only advanced my DDLC shipping thoughts in a discord server, I never posted this here, so I think an essential part here is that I think all of the other girls have a huuuuge crush on Monika. Like head over heels, for various reasons. Sayori is obvious but the others find it hard to deny, she's like, the perfect woman. Monika has no concept of anyone having a crush on her prior to them admitting this, and is completely shocked.

Yuri has a somewhat warped view of what romance looks like, given to her by media she consumes. Very pure and romantic and dripping with prose. The thought in the back of her head is constantly "I could never do that...I guess I'll be single forever..." and when she actually ends up in a relationship it ends up throwing her entire worldview out of whack in that respect. In general, the others all spend a lot of time reassuring her that they all love her for her, particularly when she's herself, unabashedly weird. Eventually, with enough persistence and some soul searching, she starts to believe it, and comes further out of her shell.

She really likes feeling important to people. She's a great listener, and her favorite thing to do is to just let other people vent about their problems to her. Her primary means of affection is quality time, with some physical affection once Sayori REALLY breaks down her sense of personal space. She'll sidle up to the others like a cat. Sayori finds this absolutely adorable. She mostly just enjoys spending time silently around other people. The others invite her places and just let her vibe. She loves it. I've mentioned it before, but she also really enjoys sending people songs and things that made her think of them. She also likes buying things that made her think of them as a gift. She's very muted in her expression of love, but she spends a lot of her time away from the others thinking of them.

I also think that Yuri kinda sucks at receiving affection, though in a different way than Monika. Monika will instinctively reject it; Yuri has no clue how to respond. It flusters her, every time, without fail, until eventually she gets used to it and her response seems somewhat flat. Although for particularly sweet gestures, she is unable to contain her excitement.

Oh, also she's probably the best kisser out of the bunch, though she is frequently too embarrassed to do much more than a peck on the cheek to start.

Sayori is her go-to whenever she wants to infodump about something she's been really into lately, because she actively listens and tries to engage her, mostly because she really enjoys it whenever Yuri is excited about something. Despite her initial hesitancy, she actually really appreciates the kind of casual physical affection which Sayori employs, because she really likes and wants physical affection, but doesn't know how to ask without feeling awkward.

She likes it when Monika vents to her. She always feels incredibly at ease around Monika, which is difficult for her to find anywhere else, much less with another person, and she really wants to give back in return what Monika gives to her. She feels comfortable enough to freely talk with Monika based on this fact, partially because she knows Monika feels the same to her. It makes her feel wanted, and she likes that.

She really tries her hardest to help when Natsuki has problems, listening to her vent about her dad, or other people, or the world, or anything else that's giving her trouble at the moment. Yuri does her best to help steer her more towards the kind of person she wants to be, and to reassure her that she isn't a terrible person.

Natsuki is averse to being in a relationship on the risk that she turns out like her parents. The only reason she's here is because the others assured her they would help her not to be. Despite her hesitancy, and her pushing back on a lot of what's given to her, she does enjoy it. (She just doesn't think she deserves it.) In general, she's just very awkward at navigating anything and everything related to it, and is very easily embarrassed by the whole thing. It takes time to get her comfortable with it.

She's very acts of service heavy. She likes making things for other people, and spends a lot of time and effort doing so. She derives a lot of joy out of directly providing for people, and particularly in the beginning, she's still convinced that's all she can provide, but she does grow better at avoiding that sort of thinking with time. She also likes spending quality time with people, probably baking, maybe chatting about/reading manga.

She is absolutely head over heels for Monika, despite finding that realization...kind of annoying. She thinks she is literally the most beautiful, perfect girl she has ever met, and despite her best efforts to ignore that powerful urge to heap praise onto her, she can't help but make an effort to impress her, which is frequently successful!...which only goads her on to do it more. She tries to get Monika to read some of the series she's more seriously invested in, because she knows Monika will get a deeper understanding of the themes and subtext.

She's envious of how easily Sayori can make friends with anyone, and finds her to be so sweet it's hard to handle. She is absolutely terrified of ever doing anything to hurt her because she knows that whatever it was, Sayori would never let go. Sayori takes great lengths to remind her that she would never do that, because she is her, not her father. She is initially annoyed by Sayori's very heavy physical affection, but also seriously appreciates it because she would never in a million years ask for a hug.

Yuri and Natsuki's relationship is special. They eventually get to a point where they just understand each other. Yuri will push back on her just enough that Natsuki is confident trusting that what she says is honest, including that she really does love her and will never leave her. She seriously appreciates that. She finds it really fun to try and get Yuri to move outside her comfort zone.

...I might have more posts in this vein to make soon, among other things, but I thought I'd get this out of my askbox now so you don't have to wait in suspense. I'm gonna go sleep. I was sorta running on fumes towards the end here, so if it seems a little more clipped there, I apologizeee

[ddlcpoly]

Natsuki and Sayori: Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow.

Monika: They’re communicating.

[cryptid-central14]

Okay so this was super hard because I'm a little bit obsessed with all of the DDLC ships but this is my ranking. I know this is definitely unpopular and absolutely no offense to anyone who loves the ships towards the bottom. Also MC ships don't count he isn't an actual character to me

[nagi-ddlcpolyblog]

“Just keep hanging in there, alright?” Natsuki’s breathier tone makes her feel as if she's in much more dire of a situation than she truly is. This is not helped by the way Sayori is acting.

Right now, she feels guilt, for a lot of things, and it flares up hard and tight inside her chest whenever Sayori lets out another whimper and curls herself into her own thinly dressed arms. Guilt for not being insistent enough before Sayori left with her, guilt for not being able to offer a spare jacket – Natsuki is struggling enough already and she's two sweaters thick – guilt for even so much as making the suggestion that it would be nice to go for a walk after work even though it might snow.

The solution has come to this: Natsuki walks through the white sheets and through the fall of snowflakes striking them both; meanwhile, Sayori will cling to Natsuki's arm with both of her own whilst one of her hands clings tightly to pink gloved fingers. Sometimes, Sayori will squeeze tight, let out a shudder, and Natsuki’s heart will crack again.

“We're almost home,” says Natsuki. Just a few more streets, just a couple minutes more of getting plastered by snow before Natsuki begins to plunder her purse for the keys and rushes to open the door as if they’re running for their lives.

The door opens, closes and then locks. Natsuki falls back against the wall, Sayori follows suit and, relaxed by the soft lapping of the warm air from the house’s internal heating, melts into her, breathing weakly against the fabric on her torso.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Sayori is warm. At the same time, it seems her body wants to feel covered and filled with molten liquid as to compensate for the past hour. It seems as if she might genuinely achieve this, in a sense, somehow; leave it to Natsuki to create miracles. Strong, fierce Natsuki; who else but her to make Sayori feel so comfortably small when in the grasp of someone smaller?

She's curled up beneath a pile of blankets that add a comfortable weight to sandwich her between them and Natsuki's chest. At times, she'll shiver again, for no particular reason, as if her body is still wearied by the roughness of the weather; Natsuki will tug Sayori closer, bless her with more heat through a warm breath on her scalp, course a hand through her hair, and tell her “It's okay, I'm here, I love you.”

Her other loves are downstairs in the kitchen attempting a hot chocolate recipe they'd found online. Sayori feels some guilt for not being able to help, and she repeatedly attempts to bring herself to open her mouth and propose something as grim as letting go of Natsuki. She’s consistently stopped whenever she so much as thinks about leaving her own body uncovered by fabric or skin.

Sayori mumbles pleasantly, shuffles tighter into Natsuki's cozy embrace, and lets herself melt away into what ends up becoming a nice afternoon nap ending at the starting edges of nighttime.

[ddlcpoly]

I had this photo as my pfp for insta for a few years, lol

fighting off your gf depression like