#dean wincehster

[marvelwitchergilmore]

Can you picture it? Us?

Dean Winchester x OC: “How do we keep getting into these situations?” - “Eleven years of friendship and I still don’t know.” After they find a hunt not too far from the bunker, the weird eleven years of friendship that Dean and Mia had shared go from weird to down-right horrifyingly strange. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Sam.” Dean called out after his brother. “Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam. Sam!”

Rolling his eyes at his brother’s constant pestering and finally turned around. “For the last time Dean - What?”

“Sam.” Dean gave a nervous laugh. “I can’t marry her. She’d kill me within a week.”

“So? You’ve died and come back to life more times than I can count.” Sam pointed out. “We both have.”

“Sam. You’re not listening to me-”

“No, Dean. You’re not listening. We need bait and the moment we walked through those doors, the planner thought you two were a couple. You both are our best shot so, you wait here,” Sam instructed holding his hand on his brother’s shoulder, “while I go and your blushing bride-to-be.”

“Not funny, Sam.”

Sam smiled anyway. It was a little funny, he had to admit. 

By the time Sam got Mia to the doors to the isle, he had had the same conversation twice. 

“I’d kill him within a week.”

“He’d be into that.”

Mia rolled her eyes at Sam and picked up the skirt of her wedding dress so she could move. “Lets just get this over with.”

Eventually she made it to the end of the isle to Dean; the pair talking between themselves before the vicar could hear them. 

“How do we keep getting into these situations?”

Mia let out a breath. “Eleven years of friendship and I still don’t know.”

Dean looked Mia up and down, but not in that way...yet, at least. 

“You okay?”

“This..corset.” Mia shifted it around. “It’s too tight.”

“You want me to loosen it?”

“I’d rather you cut it off and burned it, but, sure.”

Dean did so, letting out some of the laces so she could finally breath. However, that was when the vicar was finally ready. 

“I can see you two are excited to get to the wedding night, so should I just skip straight to the vows.”

Both Dean and Mia were taken aback meanwhile Sam was holding in his laughter. 

“No, no. It’s okay. Just...from the beginning, Father.”

And half an hour later, they were married, had shared rings and had kissed. 

“When this is all over, I want my sanity back.” Mia told him as they walked back down the isle, arm in arm. 

“You and me both, sweetheart.”

Sam had found the case two weeks ago. Couples who had just gotten married were suddenly killed on their wedding night. All staying in the same honeymoon suite. 

They needed a couple and the on-hands wedding planner thought that they were the blushing couple and Sam was the best-man. It was the best cover-up they had so, they rolled with it. Well, Sam did. And the other two didn’t have much of a choice. 

“Oh, hi.”

“Hi,” Dean smiled. “We booked room 12.”

The receptionist smiled back. “Yes. The new Honeymoon suite. Congratulations. You two must be so happy.”

Mia smiled, slding her arm around Dean’s back. “So happy.”

The woman behind the desk gave them both a couple of leaflets along with their room key and, before handing over the codes to the hotel spa and pool, she mentioned about their complementary bottle of champagne. 

“Thank you.”

Eventually, they made it into their room to find the bed covered in rose petals with swan towels. 

“Fancy.”

“Yep.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Dean asked her. 

“Oh, yeah. I’m perfect. I am a newly wedded bride...who could possibly die if our groomsman doesn’t find out what has been killing all the couples around town.”

“Sam’ll find something, but, until then...we work.”

From his bag, Dean pulled out their laptops and a couple of books. They had less than 12 hours before their lives would be put on the line. 

They worked for a few hours, Sam was out of range, and Mia started walking around the hotel looking for the stock closet. There had been no toilet roll in the bathroom. 

Clearly, having multiple murders in the suite was enough to scare the maids from going up their alone, even if just for 20 seconds.

“Mrs Winchester?”

Mia turned around to find two women stood behind her. “Hi, we’re the couple in room 10. We just thought we’d come and invite you to join us for dinner tonight, down here. We were married a couple of days ago and we’re in desperate need of people to talk to.”

“Marriage already boring? I shouldn’t worry about mine, should I?”

They laughed. “No. No. We caught a glimpse of you and your husband when you were checking in. You’ve been waiting for this for a long time, haven’t you?”

Mia gave a small nod. “Yeah, sure. Let’s go with that.”

“So, dinner tonight? Shall we say...7?”

Mia nodded. She didn’t know why. 

“You’ve done what?” Dean asked as she got into the room. 

“Got us a dinner date. They just snuck up on me and before I knew it...I agreed. Look, they’ve been here a couple of days, maybe they’ve seen something or heard something.”

“Maybe.” Dean agreed. “Are you sure you’re okay? I mean, I know you’re not happy about being married to me but we’ll be seperated just as quick as Sam threw us under the bus.”

“No, it’s not that. I just...”

“Never thought you’d marry me?” Dean half-joked. 

“Marry at all.” Mia admitted. “A kid dreams, you know, but once I found out the truth...I guess that all disappeared in the smoke of the demons ashes.”

By the time their dinner came around, Dean and Mia had to act, yet again like a married couple.

“You two look cozy.” Sam smiled as Dean walked over to the bar to order a drink. 

“Shut up.”

Sam smiled. “No. I mean it. Have you two ever thought of doing this sooner?”

“She might look happy now but...I don’t know.”

“Late wedding gitters?” Sam asked. “Dude, she’s fine.”

“I’ve never seen her like this, Sam.” Dean admitted. “She’s...scared.”

“Talk to her. That’s what...couples do, isn’t it?”

Dean made his way back to the table, a hand sliding across his wife’s shoulder’s and kissing her cheek. 

“Oh, come on. You’re newlyweds, where’s your newlywed spirit. Damn it man, kiss the girl.”

“Babe, I’m sure-”

“Don’t make me start chanting.”

Dean and Mia gave nervous smiles before turning to one another, Dean holding Mia’s face his his hands before pulling her closer and giving her a real kiss. 

When Sam spotted the pair, he nearly choaked on his drink. People were smiling around them - those who looked anyway. 

And it was safe to say both husband and wife had their heads spinning.

“That’s more like it.”

After that, Addie and Jaz managed to find out Dean and Mia’s love story. They made it up as they went along but, oddly, some parts felt real. Too real. 

“When did you know you loved her?” Addie asked. 

“I- Uh...”

“Babe, I think you’ve pestered them enough for one night-”

Addie shook her head. “No. No, I wanna know. Oh, please tell me.”

And so, after a little more pestering and begging, Dean gave in. 

“It was...” Dean thought for a moment, “maybe five years after we had met. We’d been friends for the longest time. Been thought hell and high water together and, one morning I woke up and she was lay beside me like always - she’d sneak in during the night if she woke up or if I did. I’d been the one to wake up that night, and she stayed beside me all night. And when I saw her that morning...I just knew. I knew I had been in love with her this entire time.” 

Dean placed his hand over Mia’s, constantly looking her in the eyes but it felt like he was looking into her soul. 

“What about you, Mia? When did you know?”

Mia, half-heartendly tore her gaze from Dean’s to look at Addie and Jaz. If anyone was watching them then they might have seen the fear flash across Mia’s eyes for a split second. But Addie and Jaz didn’t. Neither did Sam or Dean. 

“Oh, you...you don’t want to here that. What about you two? When- When - Addie, when did you know you fell in love with Jaz?”

Addie smiled. “I know what you’re doing, but I’ll go along.” 

Addie knew Mia was trying to avoid the question and turn it back on themselves but Addie didn’t mind. 

On the table, Mia could feel Dean sqeezing her hand and for a moment, she looked to him, squeezed back and smiled. 

It seemed natural after that.

Dean pulled Mia’s chair a little closer to him so she could lean against his shoulder and his arm went around her shoulders. His other hand lay resting in hers on his lap and they just talked with Addie and Jaz until they decided to scoot off to their bedroom leaving Dean and Mia to do the same. 

Neither pair let go of one another as the walked towards the elevator, got in and made their way to the bedroom suite. 

But what followed was something they had both - for a split second - forgotten about.

Mia collapsed onto the bed the moment they got inside and just lay staring at the ceiling. Dean was talking to her but she wasn’t really listening. She was away in her own thoughts. 

“Mia!” Dean raised his voice a little louder and she heard him. 

“What?”

Dean was about to repeat what he was saying but decided against it. 

Dropping the hand towel back in the bathroom, Dean strolled back out and crouched in front of Mia. 

“Hey,” 

Dean moved her hand and helped pull her up. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Honestly, Dean. I-I’m just tired, s’all.”

“No, it’s not. I’ve known you for eleven years and you’ve never been like this. I know you’re scared but, please,” Dean begged, “just talk to me.”

Mia sighed, a few syllables escaping her lips but before she could make a sentence, her breath became visible. 

Suddenly, the lights began to flicker and the room grew even colder. 

It was here.

From his pocket, Dean’s phone began to ring. 

“Dean, it’s a-”

“Ghost, yeah we know. We really need to work on your timing, Sammy.”

“Listen, Dean...the woman...cremated...fin..ie...be..ere..oon.” The line was cut off after that. 

“What did he say?”

“I don’t know but I think she’s already been cremated.”

“So what’s holding her here?”

Suddenly, the doors were kicked open. 

“Addie? Jaz?”

“Where is it?!”

“What-”

Dean seemed to get to the conclusion a little quicker than Mia. 

“You’re hunters?!”

“Yep. Where-” 

The bride’s spirit flickered from the bathroom and then to the other side of the bed. 

“Quick-”

They weren’t quick enough. All of them were thrown against the walls of the room before they crashed to the ground. 

“Dean! Dean!” 

Sam turned around the corner, salt gun raised. He shot a round and it disappeared. 

“Nice timing.”

“She was murdered in this room.” Sam told Dean as he helped him up, Dean rushing to Mia to help her up. 

“Aren’t the staff supposed to let you know about that?” Jaz asked. 

“They didn’t know. Some guy just cornered me, he knew why I was here..sorta.”

“Was he the husband?” Addie asked. 

“No.”

“So we’ve got the bride of Frankenstien killing married couples, why?” 

“Don’t know but she’s tied to this room some how.”

Suddenly Jaz held onto her head and dropped to the ground. 

“What? What is it?”

After a few moments Jaz relaxed. “He killed her. He killed her on the wedding night.”

“Her husband?”

Jaz groaned in pain again. “Yeah. She’s...she’s protecting the brides but- Argh! - but when they don’t listen to what she’s trying to - agh! - do...they become collatoral.”

The room grew cold once more and this time, Dean was thrown against the wall before Addie, Jaz and Sam were pushed back.

“Dean!”

The spirit appeared in front of Mia when she tried to rush towards Dean. 

“Please...don’t.”

The spirit turned her head a little before her look became darker. Her eyes were almost demon like as she held out a hand and Mia was now the one pushed against the wall. 

It felt like she was being strangled.

“I - I know what he did to you, but Dean --” Mia tried to breathe. “Dean, he’s not like that. He’d never hurt me. Please I know what your husband did and I know that he hurt you but this -- this isn’t right. You - You have to stop. He’s good. He wouldn’t hurt me like yours did.”

The grasp that had been holding Dean down loosened and he could finally breathe again. Jaz, Addie and Sam were still against the wall, however. 

“Please, just let her go. I know you don’t want to do this to people. Please, don’t do it to her.”

Suddenly, Mia dropped back to her feet and was able to breathe again. The spirit slowly moved back in horror whilst Dean rushed over to Mia, holding her up, checking her over before hugging her. 

The darkness that surrounded the spirt disappeared and Addie, Jaz and Sam were free to move. 

The spirit was now in a white dress that was blood splattered and torn, her hair disheveled and just pure fear on her face. 

“He hurt me.” The spirit explained. “He pushed me inside and held me down. I - I felt everything. And -- I couldn’t stop him.”

Though she gained a worried look from Dean, Mia walked towards the Spirit. 

“He can’t hurt you anymore.”

“I came back...but I wasn’t me. And I killed him.”

Sam then realised; the first vics...they hadn’t been the first...the spirit had been. 

“I just...I got so angry and upset. I trusted him...and he killed me.”

Mia nodded. “He can’t hurt you anymore. But you can’t keep hurting people.”

“I know, but I tried to leave...”

“Is there something that could be holding you here?” Dean asked as he walked forward. 

The spirit thought for a moment before walking over towards a loose piece of carpet. Beneath was wedding ring. 

“We’d gotten married and forgotten the rings. I’d left them in here.”

Dean picked them up and handed them to Sam. 

“I’m so sorry.”

The next morning, Sam, Addie and Jaz had delt with the burning of the rings whilst Dean and Mia stayed back in the room to clean up. Neither said much but what was there to say?

“So...what was the whole thing last night? You a psychic?” Dean asked. 

Jaz nodded. “Medium. It hurts when they tell me things but...it helps. Helps us get them to move on and for us to understand why.”

“What about you two? You had your honeymoon ruined-”

“Oh, no, we’re not-” both Mia and Dean explained. 

“It was just for the hunt. We can blame Sam for that.” Mia added. 

Addie gave her wife a look before looking back to Dean and Mia. “For the hunt?”

“For the hunt?”

Sam yelled for Dean to ask him something, Dean taking Mia’s bag for her. This left the three women alone together for a few moments. 

“Well...whoever wins your heart will be a lucky guy.” Addie said. 

Mia gave a weak smile however Jaz could see right through it. 

“Honey, someone’s already got her heart. They’ve had it for a long time.” 

Addie went wide-eyed with excitment but before she could give any other reaction, Jaz sent her with their bags to the car. 

“So, what will you do now?”

“Maybe take a real honeymoon.” Jaz told her. “I know it’s not my place but, have you ever thought in maybe telling him? Because, up until this morning, even I thought you were together.”

Mia gave a slight laugh as she kicked the invisible dirt on the ground. “No. We’ve...Dean and I...we’ve been friends for eleven years and...I don’t know. I guess I’ve lost him so many times before, I wouldn’t want this one to be permenant. I love him so much I...I don’t want to risk loosing him all together.”

Jaz gave a sad smile but a smile nonetheless. She gave a tight hug to Mia, Mia doing the same in return before she walked over to her wife, the pair driving off together but not before waving goodbye to Sam and Dean. 

“If you ever need help.” Addie told them 

Sam smiled. “We’ve got your number.”

“Bye.”

As they drove away and Sam got into the car, Dean turned to look at Mia. 

“Can you imagine it? Us together?”

Mia smiled whilst her heart breaked a little inside her chest. “Yeah...we’d kill each other.”

“I guess that’s why we work well together. I think if I died again you’d bring me back just to kill me again.”

“You know me well, Dean.”

Mia slipped into the back seat whilst Dean took up the driver’s seat and they began the short drive back to the bunker. But Mia couldn’t help but let her mind wander...what if she did tell him? Would she loose him?

[somewheregold-blog]

The Winchesters doesn't feel real in the same way as Supernatural did and it clearly is a story told by Dean. Which I only really realized recently, but it makes sense. It's Dean discovering the real story of his parents and then telling it in a way that makes sense to HIM. There might be parts that he skips over, ignores, chooses to focus on but it's the truth nevertheless.

If he ignores the homophobia of that period, it's a choice, he doesn't want to tell about that. In this story Carlos gets to live freely as a bisexual and non-binary because Dean says so.

[wigglebox]

“I know who you love… what you fear…”

[laurie-stark]

Only A Moment

(not my gif)

Summary: Another hunt goes wrong, but this time it leads to some...unconventional release of anger.

Warnings: SMUT 18+ MINORS DNI

Pairings: Sam Winchester x OC

A/N: you guys on tumblr deserved this too

Once again, the drive back to the motel was silent. A knife could slice right through the tension in the air, and Kath was tempted to try. Bobby had sent them on another demon goose chase, this time in Minnesota. They made it out without a scratch, but only barely. The demon was stronger than average and possessed the body of a little girl. And demon or not, no one wants to hurt a little girl. To Sam and Kath, the answer was obvious. Sam could trick shot the demon back to hell in less than five minutes and they would all be on their merry way. Dean said no. After an hour of back and forth between the boys, Sam decided he was old enough to stop listening to his big brother. The little girl was returned home to her parents before the night was over. And the night was far from over. 

Kath bit her lip in the backseat of Baby the car. She glanced nervously between the two brothers. Dean was stiff as he drove, going well above the speed limit. Sam had his head leaning against the window. It was not often that Kath disagreed with Dean. For most of their lives together she’d follow him blindly. It was second nature. But Sam’s addiction was something they could not find a middle ground on. Dean didn't understand. He was human after all. He didn’t have a disease coursing through his veins. He wasn’t created as the product of all things good and evil. He did not understand. 

The moment Dean pulled into the parking lot, he unleashed weather greater than God on his baby brother. Kath sighed and ran a hand over her face. This was not helping. At this point in their journey, Sam was not in the mood to be chastised. He had saved them, saved everyone. Dean should be grateful. Sam got out of the car while Dean was mid-sentence, slamming the door on his way into the motel room. 

Dean had about a million rules when it came to Baby, and slamming her car doors was a felony. Kath inhaled sharply, not because the sound of the door scared her, but because she could literally see Dean’s face turning a bright shade of red. If she squinted she could see steam coming out of his ears. 

“That little shit!” Dean said, gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles. He moved to get out of the car but Kath stopped him.

“Dean stop,” she said, putting a hand on his arm. “You know as well as I do that we were trapped. If Sam hadn’t done what he did then we’d all be as good as dead.” 

Dean was not listening. “That’s not saying much since Sammy’s already halfway gone to hell.” The sentence stung Kath and it wasn’t even aimed at her. To anyone else, the idea of going to hell was a passing thought. Coming from Dean though, Kath couldn’t believe he’d say something like that. Not after the thirty years Dean endured. For Sam, she might add. Kath opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out. And Dean was already halfway into the motel room. 

Kath entered the musty motel room to the brothers having a catfight. They were shouting so loudly that Kath couldn’t make out what was being said. She almost got trampled by Dean as she walked through the doorway. He pushed past her, got into his car, and drove off into the night. It all happened so fast that Kath got dizzy. She got a grip on her footing and gently closed the motel door, locking it with a click. Sam was pacing across the floor with his hands in his hair. 

“Don’t let him get to you Sammy, he doesn’t get it,” Kath said. She took a few steps towards him so he would stop pacing. It always made her nervous. Sam stopped in his tracks. His hands dropped to his side and he stared at her blankly. 

“Can you shut up?”

Kath’s jaw dropped. In all their years of bickering and pissing one another off, he had never once told her to shut up. In fact, Sam told her on numerous occasions how much he valued her opinions. She was shocked. 

“Well fuck me for trying to be helpful!” Kath threw her hands up in defeat. “You are such an asshole, you know that?” 

“You’d like that wouldn’t you,” Sam muttered under his breath, ignoring Kath’s asshole comment. 

“What?” Kath asked, not hearing what Sam said.

“I said you’re full of shit,” Sam responded. “You think you know me? You think you understand what I am? You have no idea what it’s like to be…to be this.” Sam gestured to himself. “I’m poisonous Kath.” 

“Do I need to remind you that you’re not the only one who learned life-changing information? There is no part of me that’s human! I have been a walking vessel from the moment I was born Sam. So fuck you for saying I don’t understand.” 

The vein in Sam’s forehead was beginning to grow, which meant Kath was really getting under his skin. Normally she wouldn’t dig herself any deeper, but he was rude to her when she just wanted him to know she cared. He had it coming. 

“At least I can say I’ve got some good in me. You’re closer to evil than I’ll ever be.” 

Sam closed his hands into fists. He brought one up to his mouth to bite his tongue. Although his stature would never show it, Kath’s statement hurt Sam down to his core. It was in his nature to be evil and he fought against it in his every waking moment. 

Kath stared at Sam through furrowed brows. She waited for him to respond, to retort with a snarky comment about how she was acting like a brat or a princess or one of the other thousand remarks he’d made before. His silence scared her. His posture was furious, but his eyes were hurt. She knew she had taken it too far. 

“Look,” Kath started. “I’m sorry. We’re both exhausted. Let’s just forget about it.” She didn’t wait for a response. Kath stepped past him to go take a much-needed shower. With one wrong footstep, she accidentally pushed her shoulder against his. The impact made Sam stumble sideways. She hadn’t meant to push him, but he didn’t know that. He was fed up with her and the way she made him feel. Like he was worth something and worthless all at once. 

Without thinking Sam grabbed hold of Kath’s right arm tightly. He pulled her towards him, her back flush against his chest. He felt her inhale sharply. He leaned his head down to the space between her chin and her shoulder. Kath could feel his warm breath tickling her neck. 

“What are you doing?” Kath asked, trying to wriggle out of his grip. Truthfully, Sam didn’t know what he was doing. All he knew was that he was angry and she was there. And from the way her hips pressed back against him, he could tell she wanted something as much as he did. Sam loosened his grip as Kath twisted her neck to look up at him. Kath’s eyes were wide with confusion, Sam’s looked at her with desire. Their lips were dangerously close to one another. Something in the air snapped and it was unclear who made the first move. But the next thing Kath knew, she was kissing Sam with force she didn’t know she was capable of. 

Sam’s hands were all over Kath’s body, turning her so that she was facing him completely. He brought a hand up to cup her chin, tilting it upward so he could get more access to her mouth. All of Kath’s better judgment had flown out the window. She let Sam devour her, tongues clashing and hands flying. The kiss took all the air out of her lungs. Sam leaned back to let them both take a breath before leaning down to kiss her once again. Clarity washed over Kath as she inhaled and suddenly she was very aware of what was going on. She pushed both hands against his chest, putting some much-needed space between their bodies. 

Sam and Kath stood on opposite ends of the motel room. The light above them flickered in time with their laboured breaths. What the hell was that? Kath was unsure, but deep down she liked it. Something inside her burned and ached for more. She stood a little taller, shoulders back a little straighter. Her mind was clear this time and she took one long stride towards Sam. In one fluid moment, she pulled his head down to hers and their lips met again. This time, it was Kath who enveloped Sam in an embrace. The sudden movements made Sam stumble backward until his back hit the wall behind him. He braced his weight against it, letting it hold him up so he could focus his strength on kissing Kath. Neither one of them knew where all this passion was coming from, but they weren’t exactly eager to stop it. Sam groaned into Kath’s mouth as her fingers tangled in his soft hair, tugging ever so slightly. Kath smirked inwardly at that, making a mental note to do that again later. 

Sam’s hands were erratic, travelling from the nape of Kath’s neck down to her waist. He wanted to explore every inch of her. The tips of his fingers made their way underneath her tank top. She gasped at the contact and pressed her body closer to his. She could feel his heart racing underneath his shirt. She wanted, no she needed to feel him. She had never done anything like this before. Sure there was the odd townsboy she’d meet on a hunt, but she had never done anything more than kiss them. She had no idea what she was doing, but at the same time, it felt natural. Kath broke the kiss hastily and started to tug on the hem of Sam’s shirt, signalling that she wanted it gone. Sam slowly placed his hands on top of hers, stopping her. She looked at him confused. Wasn’t this the natural next step? 

“Do you want this?” Sam’s voice was low against her neck. Kath nodded. “I need to hear you say it, Kath.” In all that she knew about sex, she wasn’t aware there was supposed to be talking. Could Sam not feel how badly she wanted this? 

“Please,” Kath said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Sam pulled back in surprise. “Please?” He echoed, almost mocking her. A dark smirk fell across his face and he tilted his head sideways. “I can work with that.” 

Sam’s hands grip Kath’s hips tightly and he walks her backwards towards the motel bed. She almost trips over it, landing flat on her ass with Sam towering over her. She is reminded of the last time they were alone in a motel room together like this. She’d wanted him then too. Now she could have him. 

Sam gestured for Kath to move up the bed and she complied. He was impressively large above her. He began to crawl towards her, leaving a trail of kisses up her body as he went. When he reached her mouth he paused and took her in. Kath looked different below him. Fragile, but not breakable. He took her mouth once again, this time bringing his knee between her legs as he did. Kath moaned into the kiss as Sam’s body contacted the place where she was most sensitive. Her body had a mind of its own. She ground her hips against Sam’s thigh. Sam felt his chest seize as she did. He kissed her deeply, then began making his way back down her neck, sucking on the sensitive points. He knew he would leave marks in the morning but right now he did not care. 

Kath was making the most beautiful breathy noises Sam had ever heard. He’d give anything to get her to continue making them. Shirts went flying and Sam’s mouth travelled back down the way he came and eventually, he slid off the bed onto his knees. Kath propped herself onto her elbows to get a better angle of him. Her breath caught in her throat when Sam took hold of her hips and dragged her toward the end of the bed. She let out a small yelp. Sam chuckled. 

“What are you doing?” Kath asked for the second time that night. It occurred to her then that they had no idea when Dean might come back. Sam’s hands ran the length of her legs and the thought left her mind. All of her thoughts, actually. Sam slowly began to unbutton Kath’s jeans. Her heartbeat doubled. As if he could sense it, and maybe he could, Sam stopped. 

“Is this okay?” He looked up at her with his puppy dog eyes. She smiled down at him. 

“Yeah,” she breathed. Sam continued to unbutton her pants, taking an excruciatingly long time. Kath fought the urge to whine at him to hurry up. Once Sam had undone the final button, he tugged at the hem of her jeans. 

“Lift.” It wasn’t a question. Kath lifted her hips and to her surprise Sam pulled her pants and underwear off all at once, leaving her completely exposed to him. The sight of Kath’s naked body made Sam’s mouth water. He stayed motionless by the edge of the bed for some time, just taking her in. She was beautiful. Kath felt herself grow a little embarrassed just laying like a pig on a platter. She sat up and scooted towards Sam, pulling him closer to her. He nestled between her legs while her arms linked around his neck. She took the opportunity to study his face. Loose brown curls fell around his face, and she was playing with the ones at the nape of his neck. Kath took to examining his face with her hands, tracing his eyebrows down to his nose and over the one freckle on Sam’s cheek. 

“What are you doing,” Sam asked in a mocking tone. He gave her a smile that let her know he was kidding around. 

“Just looking,” Kath shrugged. 

Sam ran his hands up Kath’s sides and over her shoulders. “You nervous?” 

“A little,” Kath said, breaking eye contact. “It’s just been a while.”

“Have you never…?” 

“Not never, just not…everything.” 

Sam’s demeanor changed completely. His hands dropped from Kath’s shoulders and he pulled away from her. 

“Oh my God, we can’t, I can’t be your first time.” Sam stuttered over his words. 

“Sam, I don’t care about that,” Kath said. 

Sam started pacing again. “I mean, how have you never? Not once?” 

“When would I have had the time to check this off my bucket list?” Kath asked. “I’ve been hunting  for half of my life, sex isn’t really on the table.” 

Sam stopped in his tracks and turned to look at Kath, who was still naked on the bed. 

“Then how the hell did you learn to kiss like that?” He asked with both hands on his hips. The question caught Kath completely off guard. She started to giggle, which then turned into full belly laughs. Sam let his guard down and laughed with her. When they had both settled down, Kath rose to her feet.

“We don’t have time to care about romances Sammy. The most I’ve ever hoped about my first time is that it’s with someone I trust.” 

“You mean that?” Sam asked after heaving a sigh. 

“Do you think I’d be standing buck-ass naked in front of you if I didn’t?” 

That was an answer enough for Sam. Without another word, he bent down to pick Kath up by her thighs. She yelped as her feet left the ground and she was tossed haphazardly back onto the bed. Another laugh escaped her when she bounced. 

Sam was quick to bring the moment back. He kissed her fiercely, framing her head with one hand and running the other along her bare thigh. With each stroke, he made sure to inch closer and closer to where he wanted to touch Kath the most. He could feel her growing impatient below him and relished in the power. Kath stopped kissing him and finally let out the whine she had been holding in.

“What’s wrong?” Sam asked innocently. Kath only frowned in response. Sam gave her thigh a tight squeeze which caused Kath’s breath to hitch. “Tell me what you want from me.”

“Touch me, Sam.” 

Sam needed no further instructions. He gingerly moved the hand on Kath’s thigh to the depths between her legs. He didn’t have to look to know how wet she’d become for him, but God did he want to. Sam quickly positioned the two of them so he was sitting against the headboard and Kath’s back was against his chest. She was almost sweating from the anticipation. She let out the sweetest sounds when Sam’s fingers finally found her. He started off with a gentle circular motion over Kath’s clit. The sensation was sending waves of pleasure throughout her entire body. Kath sighed and let her head fall back against Sam’s shoulder. Sam brushed the hair out of her face with his free hand. He continued to work Kath into a tizzy and eventually slipped a finger inside. Kath had experienced this before with other men, but those moments did not come close to this. She felt like she was a fire and Sam was the fan that kept her burning. 

Sam coaxed another finger into Kath’s entrance. She moaned excessively as he curled his fingers inside her, brushing them against that sweet spot. 

“You feel that angel?” Sam said into Kath’s ear. 

“Mhm!” That was all Kath could get out. 

“No one’s ever made you feel this good have they?” Sam grinned as Kath shook her head furiously. “And to think that I’m the one who gets to take you, you must be really desperate.” 

Kath’s moans were getting higher and more frequent. Sam felt her core pulsing against his fingers. The tightness in his pants grew. Even in her state of bliss, Kath still had the ability to push her body against Sam’s for the sole purpose of getting him harder. The groan Sam let out was reward enough. In retaliation, Sam continued pumping his fingers in and out and watched Kath get closer to her edge. Just as she was about to fall over it, Sam removed his fingers from her. The loss of sensation left her feeling empty - and entirely unsatisfied. 

“What the hell?” Kath whipped her head back to look at Sam.

“You really thought I wasn’t going to take my time with you?” Sam gloated. He brought the fingers that were just inside Kath up to her mouth, tapping on her lips gently. 

“Open,” Sam commanded. Kath did as she was told and Sam filled her mouth. She took his fingers perfectly. “Atta girl, you see how good you taste? I want a piece of that.” 

Kath’s eyes widened at the thought of Sam being…down there. That was further than she’d ever gone before. 

Sam manhandled Kath into his lap and she straddled him easily. She bent down to kiss him and Sam could taste her on his lips. The desire to have her almost made him dizzy. He pulled away and cupped her face with both hands, looking at her with pleading eyes. 

“Kath please,” he begged. “Please let me taste you.” 

Kath blushed. “Well if you want to that badly,” she said. 

“You have no idea.”

Before she knew it, they were right back where they had started, with Kath lying on the edge of the bed and Sam kneeling before her. The temptation to eat her out for hours was strong, but the urge to make Kath squirm was stronger. Sam began to place small kisses along Kath’s inner thighs while his fingers lazily danced through her folds. She was a whimpering mess. Kath’s hand found Sam’s hair and she started pulling desperately on it so that he would do something. 

“You have no patience, you know that?” 

“Sam, please!” 

“Please what?”

“Touch me!”

“I thought I already am,” Sam smirked. 

“I could touch you here.” He pressed the pad of his thumb against her clit. 

“Or maybe I could touch you here.” His finger traced the outline of her entrance. Kath was moaning loud enough to wake the entire motel. 

“Or maybe…I could do this.” 

Kath’s vision went white. Sam pushed two fingers back into her while pressing his mouth to her clit simultaneously. She cried out and her hands flew down to his hair. She was tugging on it as though she needed to for dear life. Sam groaned against her and the vibrations sent a shiver up her spine. Sam matched the pace of his fingers to that of his tongue and brought Kath closer and closer to her edge in waves. 

“Oh my God!” Kath exclaimed. “I think-” 

Her words were cut off by her moans. The final wave finally crashed over Kath and coursed throughout her entire body. Pleasure from her core extended all the way to her fingertips. She was writhing like crazy and Sam had to use his free arm to pin her down. Only once Kath started to come down did Sam take his mouth away from her. 

Kath was panting heavily. Sam used his discarded shirt to wipe Kath off his mouth, although he knew he’d be savouring the taste forever. He gave her a moment to come back to reality and discarded his pants onto the floor. He joined her back on the bed in just his boxers. Sam lay propped on his elbow beside Kath, absently drawing circles across her arm. Kath eventually came to and noticed the state Sam was in. 

“Where did your pants go?” She asked in a very serious tone. 

Sam laughed at her confusion. “We don’t have to keep going,” he said genuinely. 

“Please don’t stop.” 

Sam’s eyes darkened and he leaned down to capture Kath in a kiss. They became a tangle of limbs and tongues and teeth. Sam pressed his hips against Kath’s and she could feel his hardness against her core. The desire that filled Kath’s head was almost unbearable. She began to push her hips upwards against Sam’s. He shuddered above her and buried his head into the crook of her neck. He trailed kisses down it and then he sank his teeth into her shoulder. Not enough to hurt, but enough to make Kath’s head swim. 

“I need you,” Sam breathed into her neck. 

“Then take me, idiot,” Kath said back. 

Sam pushed off of her to remove his boxers, his cock springing upwards as he did. Sam got off the bed quietly to dig through his duffle bag. He pulled out a condom and slipped it on effortlessly. Kath shamelessly checked his ass out while he had his back to her. 

He was above average for sure. Kath couldn’t help it when her jaw dropped and she stared at him. Sam chuckled at her and gripped her chin. He moved her head from side to side as if he was deciding on something. 

“Hmmm, no,” he murmured. “We’ll put that pretty mouth of yours to use another time. Tonight I’m going to take you until you’re screaming.”

Kath had no idea how to respond to that so she didn’t. She simply laid back down on the mattress and watched Sam tower over her once more. He kissed her once, then tapped her thigh. 

“Open.” 

Kath gulped, then slowly began to spread her legs apart. Sam sunk in between them. The tip of him was pressed against her entrance and Kath’s heart began to race again. Sam held himself up with one hand and used the other to line himself up with Kath. He kissed her again, this time tenderly. 

“Are you ready?” Kath nodded. “You tell me to stop and I will.” 

Kath nodded again and closed her eyes. She opened them again to the feeling of Sam’s thumb tilting her head up. 

“Nuh-uh,” he said. “I want you to watch.” And with that, he pushed himself into Kath. Her jaw went slack and a gasp slipped past her lips. Sam let out the most beautiful moan Kath had ever heard. The feeling of Sam stretching her out took some getting used to, but Sam gave Kath ample time to adjust. He waited for her signal to start moving. Kath took a few deep breaths and then nodded. 

Sam started off with slow, gentle thrusts. This was Kath’s first time, of course, he wanted her to remember it. But with each movement, Sam’s ability to control himself slipped away. He kissed her feverishly and trailed his free hand down her arm to grip her wrist. He pulled her hand above her head, pinning it there with his own. The gesture made Kath euphoric. She could tell he was beginning to lose his grip. Now it was he who was holding onto her for dear life. 

Kath was nothing if not a nuisance. She knew that if she reached her free hand up into Sam’s hair he’d snap. She knew that if she tugged on the loose curls that hung by the nape of his neck she might need help walking tomorrow. So naturally, she did it anyway. Sam groaned desperately into her shoulder and the grip on her hand tightened. 

“Kath,” Sam warned.  

“Just let go,” Kath assured him. 

“I can’t.,” he said through gritted teeth.

“It’s okay,” she promised. “I won’t break.” 

Sam tried to hold on for her sake, but eventually his mind cleared. His thrusts became harder and faster as he took her with a force she didn’t know he was capable of. Still, she trusted that he couldn’t hurt her. They moved in sync together, like a choreographed dance. Kath felt the fire begin to grow inside of her. Sam was hitting the right spot over and over and over. When she couldn’t hold on any longer Sam leaned down and placed a kiss below her ear. 

“Come for me, angel.” 

Kath’s body shook underneath Sam as she fell over the edge once more. Pleasure crashed through her and she was close to tears. Sam’s pace didn’t slow, but the strength of his thrusts did. The hand that was once holding her own gently cupped Kath’s cheek. She opened her eyes and found Sam looking into them. His hair fell around his face, framing it perfectly. His skin was flush and he held an expression that Kath couldn’t place. Time around them slowed with what Sam said next. 

“You are so beautiful.” Sam came inside her soon after.

Kath’s heart seized. The euphoric feeling that flooded her brain moments ago was gone. She was not expecting that from Sam. She was used to his snarky remarks, even the names he called her were usually laced with sarcasm. What he said was genuine. It was vulnerable. It was not what she had signed up for. 

Sam pulled out and flopped onto his back next to her. They were both panting, sweaty messes. 

Sam let out a breathy chuckle. “That was something.” 

Kath stayed silent. Sam took it as post-sex brain fog. He got up and headed to the bathroom to clean up, leaving Kath alone with her thoughts. When Sam returned, she quickly stumbled into the bathroom without so much as a look in his direction. 

Kath looked at herself in the mirror. Her bare chest was decorated with purple marks. Her skin was flustered and beats of sweat trickled down her neck. 

What the hell did they just do? 

Kath splashed water from the sink on her face and finished cleaning up. When she left the bathroom the first thing she did was find her discarded clothes. She folded them carefully and put them on one of the motel chairs. Kath pulled her pajamas from her own duffel and pulled them on. Despite the pit in her stomach, she still made a show of bending over to pull the flannel pajama pants on. She could feel Sam’s smirk burning into her back. 

Sam was sitting against the headboard of the bed he and Kath had just christened. That was some of the best sex he’d had in, well in a very long time. He studied Kath carefully as she pulled her pajama bottoms on, making sure to check out the ass she put on display. He flipped the blanket over so she could get into bed next to him. To Sam’s surprise though, Kath made a bee-line for the other bed. 

“What are you doing?” Sam asked. It seemed to be the question of the night. 

“Going to bed,” Kath responded curtly. 

“Come here then.” Sam patted the spot next to him. 

Kath looked at Sam’s hand, then at him, then at his hand again. She shook her head. 

“No, I’m not sleeping with you,” she said. 

“You just did,” Sam responded with a smile. 

Kath’s expression did not change. “No. We’re not, I’m not…This isn’t going to be a thing. It was just a moment.” 

Sam’s demeanor stiffened. “Oh. Okay.” 

Kath got into her bed and turned away from Sam. At some point during this night Kath had stopped being Kath and started being Sam’s. She hated the feeling that was growing inside her chest. It was just a moment. It had to be just a moment. 

[rustys-lodge]

Eating Disorder

Requested : By anon, Hey I was wondering if you could write a dean x daughter fic where she's got depression and has a eating disorder. I struggle with it and I would be v v happy if you write it. Thnku

Warnings : Eating disorder, please, if you’re suffering and still get triggered, do not read this ❤

A/N : If it feels too familiar, this was inspired by the case from 6x6, You can’t handle the truth. Also, sorry if it’s trash, i wrote it in a day.

-----

You tapped your uncle Sam’s thigh twice. “Scooch” Shifting slowly before sitting down at the booth. 

As both your uncle and your father held up menus to their faces, you followed, pretending to read the long phrases that only looked like numbers to you, Calories, specifically. And out of the corner of your eye you noticed the waitress coming your way.

Thank god..

“Welcome to Biggerson’s   ! What can i get you ?”

“I’ll get the fried chicken double che-” Dean couldn’t finish his sentence before you slammed the piece of plastic down on the table and yelled “That too!” In an overly enthusiastic tone. 

And you cursed yourself a quick second later as you realized your attempt at sounding normal did not only fail, but raised even more suspicion.

Your whole life you had to act normal in front of people, and you couldn’t order a god-damn burger like one ?

“Someone’s excited for their food.” The waitress broke the silence as she turned over to Sam.

You have nooo idea.

“And a salad for uh..my pet rabbit.” Your dad pointed his thumb back at his brother, causing both you and the woman standing beside you to chuckle in response.

“Alright ! Coming right over.” The waitress stepped away before all three of you dropped the show.

“Alright, any progress ?”

“Okay, so…”

As your father and uncle talked about the case you were in town for, you drowned into a storm of thoughts.

Storm wasn’t even the right word for it. As you glanced around at the people filling the place. You realized how hard it has been. How much you wanted it to stop. How much you wanted them to know.

The smell of freshly grilled meat penetrated your nose and you were jerked out of your thoughts. The plate was set in front of you.

You pushed a tired breath out. You weren’t ready. You weren’t ready to puke it all out.

“Eat”

Pulled back to reality again, you glanced up at your father, whose fiery eyes conveyed a testing regard. He wasn’t gently indicating it, as he usually does. He was testing to see how fast you were going to do it.

Something was up.

Your eyes faltered as you answered him with a smile, slowly lifting the burger up to your lips, stopping right before you bit down on it. 

“You got one right in front of you,D. No need to keep staring at mine.” You bantered, hoping to lessen the tension a bit. But your dad wasn’t having it.

“I’m not Dean, I’m dad.”

You sighed, failed attempt. And straightened your slumped shoulders as tears started burning the bottom of your eyes.

You dug in. 

-

It’s been exactly 6 minutes since you finished eating and you could see that you weren’t the only one counting as your father’s eyes have been hovering back and forth (not so) discreetly from the laptop Sam had in front of him to you and back to the laptop. 

You could see that he was looking down at the far corner every now and then, to see how much time has passed by, but you couldn’t wait anymore. You wanted it out of you so you just shot up and headed for the women’s, mumbling an “WC”.

-

“Where have you been ?”

“in the bathroom, it’s disgusting. Sometimes i wonder why i put myself through all this. It doesn’t make sense to me.” You frowned at yourself, surprised by hwo fast the truth came out of your mouth. It was so...easy. 

“And what have you been doing ?” 

“Puking that shit i just ate out. I can’t stand food anymore. It’s like i want to eat the world and i can’t even eat a piece of bread. I hate eating. I love it.” You gasped as you slammed your hand over your mouth. Did you just tell him the whole truth ?

“Why ?” Your father asked after a low gasp of his own. 

“I’m anxious all the time. I’m exhaisted and depressed.”

You gasped again. It was like…the truth was forced out of you.

Horrified, both your dad and uncle stared at you in silence as you stared back.

“I'm...i don’t know how that came out of my....what is this-why did i just-"

Here's your check! ” The waitress interrupted you, hence the smiles all three of you donned. 

And as soon as she turned her back to you, those smiles vanished. 

“Daddy i-i-i i don’t know why-why i sa-”

Your dad shot up, interrupting you before heading for the door. You followed behind. 

“Are you angry at me?” an unwanted mumbled came out of your lips and you just stopped in your tracks, mid parking lot.

“Why would I be angry at you, Y/n?” He couldn’t hide it, could he? Anger was lacing his tone.

You dropped your gaze down as tears started streaming down your face. You couldn’t handle another problem right now. 

You didn’t need this.

A sigh was heard and steps were coming closer to you. And before you could look up two arms enveloped your head and you were stuck in the gentlest embrace.

But you still choked on a sob. You didn’t want to keep crying but you couldn’t stop it either.

“I’m not angry at you, alright ?” Dean’s voice was low and soft. You could tell that he was being honest. 

“Then why do you sound like you are ?”  you muttered shakily as you brought your hands up to his waist, clenching both fists into his shirt. 

“Because I am, but not at you. I’m mad at myself, Y/n, what kind of father am I ? You have been suffering around me and I-”

“But you just found out !”

“That’s really what you think ?” Dean pulled away from you and his eyes glistened, causing an ache to shoot through your little heart. “I’ve been seeing you stare at food with pain in your eyes, the red fingers ? the coughing ? the shaking ? Creeping to the bathroom right after I bring you dinner ?”

Your grip on his shirt tightened as embarassement flooded your face. 

“Then..Why didn’t you say anything about it ?” You lifted your head up and your dad’s fell lower. 

“Because turning a blind eye felt so much better than facing the truth.” He shook his head. “That’s the kind of father I am.”

Dean hesitantly shot you one last glance before turning his back to you. He tossed the car keys to Sam, who was waiting for you in the car.

“I’m going for a walk.” He informed, getting a nod in response before he walked away.

Leaving you, again.

--

Part 2, Dean 

Part 2, Sam 

-------

Hello, anon, i hope you’ll find your way out ❤  I hope this cheers you up, i tried to make it as fluffy as i could; Enjoy. ❤❤❤🌹🌹🌹

[yunggoblin]

FanFic Friday Should Be About...

Another SPN week! Pick who you would like to read about this week for Fan Fic Friday!

[seahorsesfedbyhand]

my gf is cleaning their room rn and they just found the most fantastic bag ever

[bulletsgirl]

wash this is random but i always remember your full name because one time i sent one of your poems into the poem-of-the-day channel in my school's quizbowl server. and that one was signed dwm and i made sure to remind myself it was david washington and not. dean winchesterm because it fully was your supernatural era. anyways storytime over i just wanted to share

HELP...... THATS SOOO. HELP. CAN YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHICH POEM

[leatafandom]

Hi hun

A summer prompt of Sabriel & Destiel for a Bar AU please and thank you.

My original idea was Gabe and Cas run the bar, with cas as a chef and gabe as the drinks extrindaniare

But feel free to take it as you like. <3

Thank you so much for sending me this ask and being so understanding and patient. The muse had too many ideas, but! the third time was the charm! I did keep the versions of this I scrapped so maybe I’ll make some more Bar AUs in the future we’ll see. Since the fic ended up being over 9k I just did the first section here since it felt so long, but the full version is up on my Ao3. I hope you enjoy this love and it's kinda sorta what you had in mind. Happy Reading ❤️

Written for Summer Prompt # 17: Drenched from a Summer Storm + Bar AU + Sabriel and Destiel  

Rated M, full version available here

Tags: alcohol, dirty cocktails, so much sexual humor, fluff getting together, background Midam, flirting, brotherly teasing, socially awkward Castiel, shared love languages, sexual innuendos

Summary: It started with the best burger Dean had ever tasted and didn't stop at just one dirty cocktail.

Snipping from Burgers and Dirty Cocktails

"And one Screaming Orgasm."

Both of the Winchesters stared in confusion and shock at the tall shot glass the waitress placed beside Sam's pint of beer and their shared appetizer.

"Really, man, you ordered a shot?"

"No." Sam glared across the table at his older brother's surprised and narrowed eyes. "I didn't order this," he said, looking back up at their waitress, pointing at the glass. "I just ordered two beers and onion rings." He finished motioning towards the beers and basket.

"I know," she replied, her voice filled with laughter. "The bartender made it especially for you." She jerked her head at the short blonde man behind the bar as he shook a drink with a wide grin at the customer on the stool in front of him. "Gabe always sends cute guys drinks." She looked back at them with an amused smile and a shrug of her left shoulder. "I'll be back to take your orders," she added, giving Sam another once over.

Sam sat gobsmacked before looking back at the tempting drink. He hadn't done shots since he was in college and Jess would drag him to parties. Dean's eyes narrowed on the laughing blonde as he tossed the cocktail shaker and caught it with a skilled flare. Dean huffed out a disbelieving breath, turning his head back to Sam's unsure expression as his little brother eyed the tall shot.

The bar and grill had become Dean's favorite place to come on Friday nights after finishing his shift at the garage. Within a few visits, he had fallen in love with the burgers and steaks the chef made, starting to stick to always ordering the chef's special. He'd come here more than a few times before he had suggested it to his brother, wanting to share the place with Sam after falling in love with the chef's unique take on grilling. His eyes looked over the vodka shot, his lips twisting, not having had a chance to try a cocktail yet. He'd heard everything Gabriel made was supposed to be a match for the quality meals Castiel made in the kitchen.

"He's never made me a drink," Dean grumbled, shifting in his seat. "If you're not gonna drink it," Dean pointed at the Screaming Orgasm. "I am. His drinks are supposed to be legendary."

Sam chuckled, pulling the drink closer to him. "You're jealous he doesn't think you're cute," Sam snarked before knocking it back to Dean's displeasure.

"Yeah. I am jealous that I don't get a free shot hand-made by Gabe." Dean gruffed while Sam savored the shot to spite him. "Dude makes the best drinks."

Sam nearly groaned at the well-balanced drink, barely hearing Dean's complaint. "Oh my god, that's good." His eyes fell closed at the wash of almond and coffee liqueur that balanced the vodka, savoring the drink.

"Don't rub it in, ass," Dean grumbled, grabbing a handful of onion rings.

Unlike his brother Sam had stopped drinking the odd cocktail and shot after college, but he'd never had anything near as smooth as that. "Shit," He cursed looking at the now empty glass in slight awe causing Dean's eyes to roll and steal more rings. "Hey!"

"Shut up. I get the rings. Now I wanna order a shot," Dean grumbled, not looking forward to placing that order. The older man grimaced, looking back at the bar and sitting up more in their booth. "He is exactly your type. Short, funny, cute, and blonde," he commented, shoving another onion ring in his mouth as he watched the bartender.

"Whatever, the burgers better be as good as that shot," Sam grumbled, shoving an onion ring into his mouth before Dean ate them all, still turning through the menu while resisting the urge to turn and look at the flirting bartender.

Regardless of Dean's urging throughout their delicious meal, Sam didn't go up to the bar and talk to the bartender. He had to admit he ended up loving the burger almost as much as the shot the blonde had made him and it didn't take much to convince Sam to make the family-owned bar and grill their new spot for their weekly dinner meetup, flirty and possibly cute bartender or not.

On their way out, after finishing the dessert Dean swore they had to order too, Sam couldn't resist taking a long look around the bar and at Gabriel. He smiled, swallowing slightly at the sight of the short blonde that oozed energy. Sam nearly tripped, when Gabriel caught him and winked with a wide leering grin. The brunette had cleared his throat and offered a small wave, tilting his head down in an attempt to hide his embarrassment and block out his brother's snickers behind him.

full version available here

[destielshippingnews]

Edvard's Supernatural Guide: 1x21 Salvation

The penultimate episode of Supernatural’s first series begins with a scene which had potential to be ominous and atmospheric, but unfortunately suffered a lack of build-up, context, or reason to care. Pastor Jim received one or two mentions throughout the whole of series one, but never appeared on screen before this episode and whom the viewer never even heard speaking to Dean or Sam on the phone. As such, his death is gruesome and unpleasant but falls flat on the viewer because there is no particular reason to care. He has not been especially important to either the story or the Winchesters in series one, nor has he even had a face until he first appears in the same scene Meg kills him. Meg is using him to get to the Winchesters, regardless of the fact Jim does not know where they are, but since the viewer has never seen him before nor seen him contribute to the Winchesters’ goals in any way, it is unclear why exactly she goes after him in particular.

In her own analysis of this episode, Paula R. Stiles adds the fact that Meg going after Pastor Jim now is strange. We have no idea how easy or hard it was for her to locate him, and so we are left wondering why she did not go after him months ago. We are also left wondering why Meg did not simply go straight after dean, Sam, and John: she has managed to get very close to them on several occasions in the past, so what is different this time? The show has neither told nor shown the viewer anything about Dean, Sam, or John using any protecting warding on the place they are staying, and we have no information on whether or not they are wearing any protective amulets to prevent tracking. So what is stopping Meg simply going straight after them? And if she can get to John’s friends so easily to slit their throats, why did she not simply do that to John a few months ago before he got his hands on the colt? This is another instance of Supernatural suffering first draft problems. ...Which would be a problem if I watched it for the plot, but as has been made abundantly clear by now, I do not.

That aside, one thing this episode and the following episode 1x22 Devil’s Trap succeed in is giving demons a presence which they later completely lack. Meg of course is heralded by the wind blowing through the church, causing the candles to flicker, and Azazel is preceded later on by radio interference, electrical problems, strong winds, and creepy paranormal activity in the baby’s room. Things like this should have been a greater part of Supernatural’s aesthetic. People with black contact lenses are not scary, but people with black contact lenses who make candles flicker and die, whose presence causes winds to blow, electrics to fail, and clocks to stop are pure horror material. This kind of presence suggests much which we cannot see, and what we cannot see is scarier than what we can.

I have said before that I do not care much for Meg 1.0, and this opening scene exemplifies a lot of what did not suit my personal tastes. She sounds far too laconic and the dialogue written for her is bland, resulting in her sounding like a bored human. She also has some rather cheesy lines late in the episode which might have been amusing in 2006 but ‘We’re going to rip the skin from your bones’ is both anatomically questionable (skin covers fat and muscle, and muscle covers bone) and yawn-inducing.

That said, I do not think Nicki Aycox is a bad actress at all. I think she did both a good job with what she was given, and gives a very strong performance in 1x22 Devil’s Trap as well as 4x02 Are You There, God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester. She just got given sucky material in this show. I was saddened to find out she never got a long-term acting job, and that she is fighting leukaemia now (August 2022).

One thing I did like about Meg 1.0 is her motivation, determination, and dedication to her family and their goal. I said as much in my review of 1x16 Shadow, and Paula R. Stiles drew a parallel between her and Dean, describing her as a mirror image of Dean fighting for the other side.

Noteworthy in the first scene is that, even though Pastor Jim is a man of the church, he does not invoke either the Abrahamic God nor Jesus nor any other figure from Abrahamic mythologies to help ward off Meg. He does not even refer to the church as a ‘House of God’, but rather calls it ‘hallowed ground’.

Noteworthy is also that John’s tight-lipped withholding of information is likely the reason Pastor Jim and Caleb died: Pastor Jim seemed completely taken unaware and unprepared, and we can assume the same was true for Caleb. Surely if John were half the hunter we are told he is, he would have known that demons would be willing to use his friends and acquaintances to get to him just as they would his sons, yet he told them nothing which could have helped them prepare and protect themselves. John, however, had not made contact with Jim for over a year. Well done, John.

The cold open ends with Jim dead and Meg 1.0 smirking a Bad Ass Baddie smirk, then the scene switches to Dean, Sam, and John who are still in Manning, Colorado where they fought the vampires in 1x20 Dead Man’s Blood. They have been doing a lot of research, planning, and talking about the demon based on the sheer amount of stuff plastered on the walls. Base don their conversation, however, part of it has been conducted by John alone, and that is the research into weather patterns and sulphur, i.e. demonic activity. John reveals to his sons that he picked up the demons’s trail a year ago based on signs like these, whereupon he abandoned Dean (and all his other contacts) without warning or any information which might have helped him or kept him safe. The trail John found was linked to houses burnt down on the day a newborn turned six months old, i.e. the same circumstances surrounding Mary’s death and thereby similar to Jess’s death.

Once more I will refer to Paula R. Stiles here: episode 4x03 In the Beginning… makes it clear that Azazel visited these houses ten years after one of the parents made a deal with him. Mary made a deal with him in 1974 in order to bring John back to life, and Azazel appeared in Sam’s bedroom in 1984, to give just one example. If we assume Azazel stuck with this mode of operation, he would have been making his latest round of deals in 1995 and 1996. John was a hunter while this was going on, and he missed it completely after tracking the demon for over a decade at that point. If we are supposed to think John’s an awesome hunter, the writers are doing a bad job. Bobby also missed it, as did Missouri Moseley, Caleb, and Pastor Jim. How did they all miss loads of houses across America (and it does seem to be exclusively America for some reason, not even Canada or Mexico) burning up like that, and the occasional reports of mothers on ceilings? Surely this is something John would have been keeping an eye out for, and that the others would have been helping him with.

John reveals that he found the same signs, e.g. strange weather, cattle mutilations, and whatever else, in Lawrence and Palo Alto before Mary and Jess’s deaths. Sam, as always, proceeds to make this All About Sam. Sure Sam has psychic powers, and his conversation with Max in 1x14 Nightmare made him aware of other psychic kids whose mother died in similar circumstances, but a person’s response to this should be ‘This is because somebody wants us for something’ rather than ‘This is because of me.’ If you remember my analysis of 1x19 Provenance, I brought up Sam’s bipolar depression and that sometimes he believes he is the scum of the Earth. I can accept that this is a contributing factor to his response here, but only part. The rest is the writers wanting Sam to be the main protagonist and to tell his story accompanied by Sam’s own understandable guilt and trauma, but also his self-centred understanding of events, his self-centred motivations, and his narcissism. Everything has to be About Sam, even when there are dozens if not hundreds of other people effected in the same way.

On the subject of bad writing, Dean, Sam, and John investigate the town of Salvation, Iowa. Signs of demonic activity have been surrounding the town for a few days, and they suspect Azazel will appear soon in a baby’s room on the night of its sixth month. Posing as policemen in order to get information from hospital staff, they try to find out which babies in the area are approaching their sixth month. They split up, one taking each of the three medical centres in the county, and Dean’s first line of dialogue in the scene is just god-awful writing. A good-looking nurse at reception asks Dean ‘ Is there anything I can do to help you?’ to which his response is ‘Oh God, yes’.

I am aware I am supposed to laugh at this, but am I to believe that a man experienced in posing as police officers, federal agents, and whatever else who is on a case trying to find the demon who killed his mum is going to blow his cover almost straight away by acting incredibly unprofessional and turning into a twelve year-old boy who has just found out girls are pretty? Pfft. Miss me with that, show. Who wrote this? checks notes Wait, Gamble and Tucker? That is such a Sera Gamble line.

Apropos unprofessional, the costuming department also failed in this scene. I am to believe that Dean, Sam, and John look like working class or underclass men to the rest of society, and that people spot this straight away. However, all three of them waltz into the medical centres in their everyday clothes which are supposed to look like poor men’s attire, and claim to be policemen looking for information. Is this something about American society which I do not understand?

Rather than finding useful information in a hospital or doctor’s clinic, their breakthrough comes in the form of Sam’s vision of a woman being killed like Mary was. This leads him to a woman in a nice middle-class area of town pushing a baby in a pram down the street. He deduces this woman to be Azazel’s next target after she tells him that her baby is almost six months old.

One thing I wondered while watching Sam’s vision is why the mothers in these situations always have white nighties on. I have a mother and I have never seen her wearing a white nightie.

Moving on, Sam tells Dean and John about the woman and how he found her, which leads John to try chewing his sons out for not telling him about Sam’s psychic powers earlier. ‘Why didn’t you call me?’I wrote ‘chewing his sons out’, but he directed this specifically at Dean, tasking him specifically with informing John of Sam’s visions and holding Dean specifically accountable for John not knowing.

This, of course, after John took off without notice or warning, and then refused to answer any of Dean’s calls, even when Dean was dying. I swear to God, the balls on John would be impressive if I did not want to murder him. Perhaps emboldened by calling John out on his bullcrap at the end of 1x20 Dead Man’s Blood, Dean takes John to task for this ‘order’, calling him out his hypocrisy in demanding Dena call him when John never once answered a call from Dean in the year he was missing. Dean even brings up the fact he was dying in 1x12 Faith and even then John left Dean’s call unanswered. The gall, the impudence, the sheer unmitigated audacity of the man. Once again, I was so proud of Dean for standing up for himself against John.

I was disappointed, however, that the writers gave this specific grievance so little space. This was an opportunity for him to lay into John as Sam did in 1x20 Dead Man’s Blood and rip him apart. John clearly did not care, as his face hardened the moment Dean called him out. The expression John wore said loud and clear ‘Oh look, the door mat’s talking, and it thinks I care’, and Dean should have picked up on this. John apologised to Dean, but what exactly John meant when he said ‘I’m sorry’ is anybody’s guess. Presumably he intended Dean to interpret this as remorse for leaving him to die. Many viewers may understand John’s final ‘I’m sorry’ after Dean reads his articles of accusation as John admitting failure, but I saw it as little more than a weasel move to end the discussion. The fact John embeds his ‘I’m sorry’ in the sentence ‘Although I’m not crazy about this new tone of yours…’ shows clearly he is not sorry. Dean brought up John’s abandonment of him, and John’s response it to try asserting dominance by essentially saying ‘You are my child and my servant, and you will talk to me with respect’.

He did not mean his ‘I’m sorry’, he just did not want not have that conversation with Dean then. Dean had shown that John’s control over him was failing. Abusive parents fear their abused children shaking off their control and one day hitting them back. Given a chance, Dean could easily have John saying ‘I’m sorry’ from the other side of his head. John even tries to reassert his dominance over Dean by talking to him like he is a child:

Sit on a cactus, John. Naked.

Alas, I had to content myself with Dean giving John a minor bitch-slap with his words, a minor bitch-slap which is unfortunately the most Dean ever gets to say straight to John’s face. It is a huge moment for Dean, and should have been a major step on his road to recovering from John’s abuse of him, but… alas.

By the way, Dean still has a gay man’s heart which he got in 1x12 Faith. I just thought it was worth repeating.

A phone call from Meg ends this discussion and changes the subject completely. The conversation involves Meg murdering Caleb and making John listen to him die after she cuts his throat, and then Meg threatening to do the same to all John’s other friends and contacts unless John meets her in Lincoln, Oregon at midnight. It is all very clichéd (and Crowley tries something similar on Dean and Sam in 8x22 Clip Show) and it is hard to care much because I do not know any of John’s friends or contacts, other than Missouri Moseley (and we all know what I think of her). Meg’s actions mean nothing because the people she is doing them to mean nothing to me: they are just more male characters introduced with the sole purpose of being killed. Finding out Meg killed Jim clearly got to John (and he was visibly upset about his death when he found out from Caleb earlier), so he cares, but I do not. I am supposed to see Meg as a scary threat, but the conversation ends with me thinking ‘Shut up, Meg.’

‘The last time I saw you, you were thrown out of a window’ was an amusing line, though.

John devises a stupid plan to try to trick Meg with a fake gun, and gets Dean and Sam to remain in Iowa to deal with Azazel. The dialogue in this scene is awkward and amateurish and functions to spell out the plan to inattentive viewers, and to answer necessary questions. It was so bad that I almost saw actors acting rather than characters in a show. I find Jared’s acting passable most of the time in the early years of the show, but Jensen’s almost always top-notch. As much as I bitch about John, Jeffrey Dean Morgan does a great job with what little screen time he has. In this last part of the (long) scene in the motel, though, even Jensen and Jeffrey felt like they were acting because the writing was so off.

Anyway, Sam spells out the subtext for the viewer that John wants Dean and Sam to kill the demon alone, to which John gives a weirdly melodramatic response (I expect Sera Gamble wrote this scene). ‘No Sam, I want us to stop losing people we love. I want you to go to school [by which I presume he means ‘university’], I want Dean to have a home. I want Mary alive.’ I of course had to pause the episode here because I want Dean to have a home is a hilarious line coming from John who did his best to keep Dean from having a home (e.g. 9x07 Bad Boys) and made him into a man who could never fit into normal society or have a normal home.

We are of course supposed to empathise with John here, as we were in 1x20 Dead Man’s Blood when he admitted some of his wrongdoing, but I do not care about John’s sadness over losing Mary any more. His obsession over his dead wife ruined his sons’ lives.

Dean procures a colt from an antique shop (once again doing the heavy lifting in the episode off-screen) and then urges John to get himself to safety if things go wrong (spoiler warning: things go wrong). Their interaction here seems almost like a normal father-son interaction, and even I wonder whether I have sometimes taken my readings of John’s treatment of Dean too far. After all, Dean clearly cares about John and wants him safe, and their conversation in this scene bears no trace of John’s abuse.

Then I remember 1x06 Skin, 1x12 Faith, 1x14 Nightmare, 1x18 Something Wicked, and all the evidence of John’s abuse seen in Dean’s behaviour and other characters’ comments of John’s treatment of his children. ‘Child abuse, really,’ in Toni Bevell’s words (somewhere in series 12, in the episode where the British Men of Letters were torturing Mary is my best guess). I experience a little of what it is like to have a relationship with an abuser when I remember this. Often the abuser seems completely normal, even charming, warm, and loving. Occasionally that almost makes us forget about the other side of the abuser. It could not have been that bad, after all, surely. ...Except it was, and the abuser’s charm is part of the abuse. It makes us question our own reality and doubt ourselves, even blame ourselves for things being what they are.

(Here is a fan video on this very subject. Spoilers up to and including 15x20.)

Returning to 1x21, John somehow manages to drive from Iowa to Oregon (a journey of roughly 2,000 miles, equivalent to travelling from the north of Norway to the south of Germany) by midnight by car. He turns the contents of a water tank into holy water , then goes to meet Meg and her ‘brother’, left unnamed in this episode but whom I have given the delightful moniker of The Loquacious Terminator. John indeed tries to fool them with the fake colt, but this plans fails when The Loquacious Terminator fires a round into Meg, failing to kill her. John tries to escape them, opening a water valve and spraying the passage behind him with holy water, impeding the demons’ chase of him. For some reason, he stops to gloat over the holy water hose working rather than using that time to get away: once more, why exactly does John have a reputation as a brilliant hunter? His trick with turning the water supply into holy water was crafty, but other than that he is pretty basic and stupid. His car’s tyres are slashed, and before he can manage to get away, The Loquacious Terminator pins him to a wall with telekinesis. John is trapped.

This runs parallel to and interspersed with Dean and Sam’s part of the story. As John is travelling to Oregon. His sons are staking out the middle-class house and family from earlier in the episode. Quite how nobody noticed two men who are (apparently) obviously poor sitting in a car watching a house on a residential street is anybody’s guess. They have fake IDs and can make up a story, but what is the story?

Anyway, stake it out they do, and Sam takes advantage of the opportunity to thank Dean for always having his back and being somebody Sam can rely on. This was indeed a touching, gratifying moment. ...Or it would have been had it come a few episodes ago accompanied with an apology and penitence for shooting Dean twice in 1x10 Asylum, letting him take the fall for murder and assault in 1x06 Skin, and all his other less-than-decent behaviour. It would also actually mean something if his gratitude were reflected in his treatment of Dean, but that very night Sam tries starting something with Dean. As things are, it feels like Sam forcing an awkward conversation to give an empty performance. In Dean’s words, ‘I don’t wanna hear that friggin speech, man’.

This discussion ends with eerie interference coming over the radio, along with the wind outside picking up and the electrics flickering. They deduce it is Azazel approaching (and what presence he has this early in the show) and sneak into the house. Quite why a middle class house did not have an alarm is also unanswered, but within seconds of entering the house, the father attacks Dean while the mother runs into the baby’s room.

Being the drama queen he is, Azazel does not simply snap her neck, but goes through the whole show of lifting her up the wall onto the ceiling. Funnily enough, the same happened to Jensen’s character Jason Teague in Smallville 4x08 Spell, but that ended up with the witch possessing Lana yeeting him out of a window where he would have died had Clark not saved him.

(Jason survived the meteor shower in 4x22, by the way, and is currently living his best life in a committed relationship with Lex Luthor who faked his death to be with him. I will not hear a word to the contrary.)

Returning to the show Jensen left Smallville for, Sam enters the baby’s room in time to stop Azazel killing the mother, but he hesitates a second too long and fails to shoot Azazel. This raises the question of why Sam hesitated for all of five seconds before shooting. I am aware he has a lot of emotional baggage regarding Azazel, but he is an experienced hunter at this point and should not be freezing up like that. I understand the plot needed it to happen, but ‘the plot needed it to happen’ is never a good reason for something to happen.

I understand the plot also needed there to be a clear trail for John to follow in order to lead him to Azazel, but it is far too convenient that Azazel always kills in the same way, leaving the aforementioned clear trail for John to follow. It is soon revealed in 2x05 Simon Says that there are plenty of psychic children whose mother Azazel did not kill, but he killed enough in the same way for John to notice. This is too convenient.

Based on events in this episodes, I can also deduce that Meg and Azazel are not in frequent contact, and she does not know his exact whereabouts, nor he his, though they are supposedly working together. Had they communicated more, they might have been able to work out that the Winchesters were perhaps onto their plan. The Winchesters were now back together and had the colt, so they would have had good reason to plan contingencies for in case the Winchesters found out where Azazel would be. It is true that John has not been able to find Azazel for twenty years, but things were clearly changing and the action was building towards something. If Meg can find John’s friends, she can work out how to track phone numbers, and could have told Azazel the Winchesters were in Salvation, Iowa.

This brings me onto a gripe with demons on this show; they are mostly stupid. The same becomes true of angels later in the show. Meg and Azazel are not stupid, but they are not as threatening or ominous as they could be if they worked together and used all the resources available to them.

Returning to the episode at hand, while Sam rushes upstairs to help the mum, Dean knocks the father out (remember what I have said several times about blows to the head: a blow hard enough to knock a person out is hard enough to cause brain damage or death) and takes him outside. After rushing upstairs to find Azazel gone and the mother panicking, Dean orders Sam to get the other out and rescues the baby from the cot in the nick of time.

Quite why Azazel chose to try burning the baby when he needs as many psychic children as he can get is also a mystery, but as I said before: demons in Supernatural are often stupid.

After Dean once again does the heavy lifting in the episode, rescuing both the father AND the baby, the family and brothers escape the house moments before the first floor explodes in a fireball. In the flames, a Jensen cardboard cut-out the silhouette of Azazel stands wreathed in flames, watching the boys outside in the garden.

Sam tries to get back inside in order to kill Azazel, but Dean stops him because it would be suicide. ‘I don’t care!’ Sam says. ‘I do!’ is Dean’s reply. It is all moot anyway, as Azazel vanishes.

The final scene of the episode begins in the motel room. Dean is frustrated because John is not answering his phone, all the while Emo King Sam mopes on his bed like a petulant teenager. ‘If you had just let me go in there…’ Not for the first time, I am tempted to reach through my screen and slap some sense into Sam. He failed the first time when he had the element of surprise, five seconds and a clear shot, so why on Earth does he think he could possibly succeed in killing Azazel in a burning building when Azazel knows he is coming? This is exactly the same narrow-minded, self-indulgent, whiny attitude he displayed so clearly at the beginning of the episode, and it is as repellent now as it was then. This would be forgivable if he were a teenager, but he is a twenty three year old man now. Intertwined with this is his self-destructive tendencies, a trait he shares with John, a result of their obsessed fixation on revenge at all costs. Dean himself draws this parallel in the very next episode.

Sam is focused wholly on the goal, that is killing Azazel. Everything which has to be sacrificed along the way is worthwhile, as long as Sam gets his revenge. This is exactly like John. Dean represents sanity and moderation in this exchange: he also wants revenge, but Sam’s life is more important to him than killing Azazel (however, Dean’s life is secondary to Sam’s due to John grooming Dean to be his brother’s keeper).

Interesting is the change in Sam’s character evident in this scene. The scene was undoubtedly intended as a mirror of the scene on the bridge in 1x01 Pilot when Sam’s says ‘Mom’s never coming back’ as a way of dismissing the idea of joining Dean to hunt monsters. Dean gets upset and says ‘Don’t talk about her like that’. The roles are almost reversed in this scene: while Dean is not being dismissive of anything, he is trying to call Sam off the hunt, whilst Sam brings up Mary and Jess’s deaths as justification for continuing.

‘No matter what we do, they’re gone, and they’re never coming back.’ Sam gets all melodramatic, grabs Dean and slams him against the wall (Dean, predictably, offering no resistance). ‘Don’t you say that, not you,’ Sam says, dialogue befitting a soap opera more than Supernatural.

Wanting to protect Sam from getting killed is of course only part of Dean’s motivation for wanting Sam to give up his suicide mission: John is missing in action, and all Dean has left is Sam. If Dean loses Sam, he loses his brother and his sole reason for existing. Furthermore, he will be alone with John if John is still alive, and completely alone if John is dead.

Dean has no hope of ever having a normal life or having anything other than hunting. Paula R. Stiles points out in her analysis of this episode that Dean believes that whatever happens soon, the only life he is comfortable with will end. John is the reason for Dean being a broken mess, and Sam does not like Dean, but dean has nobody else. If Azazel dies, he believes their mission will be over: Sam will return to university, and John will stop hunting. Dean will either have to continue the hunting life alone, or struggle and fail to fit into normal society… where he is a wanted murderer and (unbeknownst to him) FBI agents already know a lot about the Winchesters. If, however, they fail in their quest, they will probably die anyway. Whatever the outcome, Dean’s life is beginning to fall apart, and his mental breakdown which leads to the decision he makes in 2x22 All Hell Breaks Loose Part II begins here.

Apropos John, Sam is a John mirror in this scene in both his obsession and his treatment of Dean. Sam turns his frustration, disappointment, and anger on Dean as an outlet (see above RE: kicking the cat). He is upset that Dean will not support his self-destructive behaviour, and Dean does not fight back when Sam turns his anger on him. Dean does not respond in kind: he could snap Sam like a twig if he wanted, but in spite of rough treatment, chooses care, compassion, and emotional connection to try to help Sam see sense.

It has been a few analyses since I last did this, so please allow me to indulge myself: Jensen’s acting, Dear Reader! Dear Reader, Jensen’s acting! The roller-coaster of emotions Dean goes through is plain to see on his face: steely determination o keep a straight face, then his façade fails and the broken, suicidal man from 1x12 Faith is revealed. He does this so well – and the Widower Arc from 13x01-13x05 – that I worry about him sometimes. ‘Sometimes I feel like I’m barely holding it together, man’ is delivered in a cracking voice of somebody speaking through the onset of tears. It even takes him a while to recover after Sam backs off: once the mask has been removed, it is difficult to put it back on.

Dean’s vulnerability snaps Sam out of his mood, but this vulnerable part of Dean is one Sam always seems to forget exists. His treatment of Dean has not changed since he found out about John’s treatment of him in 1x18 Something Wicked, and through out the whole show Sam simply does not see past the two dimensional idea Sam has in his brain of who his brother is. Regardless, Sam backs off after Dean lets his vulnerability show. This brings the focus back to John, who has still not answered his phone.

Dean makes one last call to John at Sam’s behest, only to be met by Meg on the other end. ‘You boys really screwed up this time… You’re never going to see your father again.’

Cue end credits...

[official-wayward-noctis]

Jack: has anyone seen Cas and Dean?

Jody: Dean is supposed to be fixing the impala

Claire: Cas is taking a nap

Sam: angels don’t need sleep

Claire: well no dip, I rather not say he is fucking Dean right now.

Jack: I regret asking

[rayofsuunshiine]

After rewatching 15.19 for the first time since it aired. I can confidently say this is my ending. Jack leaving with his new role and power, to go find Castiel.

Plus the montage at the end was chefs kiss.

I don’t need the gut punch rebar impalement of watching episode 20 again.

[omnikillr]

Sober

So here is part 1 of my Sam X Dean fic, idk I've really been feeling this ship recently

Sam sighed as he stretched out in the back seat of the Impala, the side of his face pressed against Dean's lap. It was almost perfect; A warm, sunny day, his head on Dean's lap. The only way it could get any better was if their dad wasn't there, watching their every move. He wished he could be hugged up to Dean's chest, cuddling, kissing... riding. His face heated up at the thought, although it wasn't the only part of his body responding to the fantasy. He quickly moved so his hard-on wouldn't be visible to Dean. He knew it was wrong to think about his big brother like this, but he couldn't help it. Dean was so perfect. The hand that had been carding through his hair was soon sliding down to cup his face, tilting it up towards his big brother. Their eyes met, Dean's face holding a loving smile Sam couldn't help but copy. The Impala started to slow to a stop, "We're here," John said and Sam quickly sat up stretching, as he and Dean got out to start helping their dad unpack.

They were finally done unpacking and their dad was leaving, finally some peace. Dean flopped down onto the couch, an open beer in his hand. His emerald eyes were glued to the tv in front of him, and the girls on it. Sam knew Dean liked women, but he still couldn't help but wish his brother would look at him like that. He frowned as he headed toward the fridge, searching for something to take the edge off. He grasped the neck of the bottle taking a long swig, his thoughts scattered. Before he knew it he was surrounded by bottles. His tears were starting to dry as he continued to drink, forgetting why he was crying in the first place. Soon he was a giggling mess, and Dean heard. Dean, wondering what could be so funny, walked into the kitchen to find Sam laying on the floor absolutely waisted. "Sam?" Dean stared down at his little brother for a moment before collecting his thoughts. He quickly kneeled down and pulled his brother into his arms. Sam looked up at Dean and before either of them could process what was happening Sam had connected their lips. Dean froze, he couldn't believe what was happening. He had been lusting over Sammy for months. He didn't think Sam would ever feel the same. Just as quick as it started it was over. Sam was sobbing, grabbing fist fulls of Dean's shirt. He shoved his face into Dean's chest, mumbling something through his sobs. Dean's heart broke, "What the matter, Sammy?", he asked running his fingers through his hair. Sam looked up at him teary-eyed, "Why don't you love me?". Dean froze again as Sam continued, "What do they have that I don't?". Hearing his little brother's sobbed questions Dean came back to his senses. "I do love you, Sam. What does who have?" the only logical explanation for Sam's actions that Dean could come up with was that he was drunk. He didn't mean anything he was saying. He couldn't mean anything he was saying, and Dean wouldn't give himself false hope that he did. "What do the girls have that I don't?" Sam cried out. Dean couldnt even really comprehend what was happening. "Sammy, you are so much better than all of them, and god you don't know how long I've wanted to tell you that. I know you're drunk off your ass and won't remember, but god I love you Sammy. I love you so much more than I should. More than a brother should, Sam. You don't even understand the amount of times I've accidentally said you're name while with these girls. God, Sam, it's fucked." Sam looked up at Dean, throwing his arms around his brothers neck. He shoved his face into Dean's neck and whimpered, "I want to be yours so bad, De.". Dean sighed, "Of course, if you still feel that way when you're sobered up, Sam. Until then let's get you to bed.". Dean struggled to his feet, Sam in his arms. For only being fifteen he was a tall kid, already a little taller than Dean. Dean couldn't help but have a grim look as he carried Sam to bed. Sam may not remember this, but Dean would always have the memory of when he almost had everything. He put Sam down, going to leave when he heard Sam mumble something. He turned around to see his baby brother staring at him with those big brown eyes. He smiled, "What, Sam?". "Stay? Please?" He mumbled out with a look Dean couldn't say no too. For what felt like the thousandth time that night Dean sighed. He quickly pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it, his jeans soon to join it in the floor. He went to the other side of the bed as Sam kicked off his own jeans. He layed down, making sure Sam had plenty of space, it didnt matter though, the boy quickley wrapped himself around his big brother. Dean couldn't help but smile as he wrapped his arms around Sam, he would let himself enjoy it, even if it would be gone in the morning.

I will add part 2 here when it's out

[vesperscas]

are you normal or did you cry to a 7 minute dean amv set to dear john by taylor swift

[eames-with-a-rose]

Well just realized i personally never told anyone i needed them before in my life. Yet dean wincehster, to castiel

[yunggoblin]

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