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#debra/dexter
neptunian-dream · 7 months
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who even writes debster fic in the year of our lord 2024. me, unfortunately. enjoy my sickness (I need to be put down)
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read HERE
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happy74827 · 6 months
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A New Moon
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[Dexter Morgan x Female!Reader]
Synopsis: Despite his gut telling him he shouldn’t, Dexter can’t help but fall deeper into the trap of his own emotions. And the more time he spends with you, the more he starts to realize what exactly those emotions are. {GIF Creds: beautifulguycollector}
WC: 2889
Category: Slight Lime/Spice, Friends to Lovers + Forbidden Love (if you squint) Tropes
Gotta keep this fandom alive somehow 🥲 (also… why are titles so hard to write? That and the synopsis are harder to write than the actual fic)
『••✎••』
You were too good for him. Plain and simple. You were a smart, beautiful, hard-working woman who had goals and dreams. He was a cold-blooded killer. Not to say that he hadn't been there for you, though. The two of you had been friends since… well, a while. A long while.
He couldn't quite pinpoint the moment he started to notice the changes in your relationship. It was a slow, subtle buildup, and the first time you called him your friend, Dexter thought nothing of it. The second time, it made him pause, but not enough for him to consider what the implications of you saying that to him could mean.
But when you said it again and again and again, he realized the meaning behind your words, the affection they held. Dexter couldn't say that he was particularly close to many people. There were a select few he'd consider his friends, but he wasn’t emotionally invested in any of them. And he didn't think he was invested in you, either.
But maybe he was.
Debs was different, and it made him question how much he was supposed to care about someone. But that was his sister, the one person in the world who loved him unconditionally. That reason alone made his relationship with Deb unique. He was sure of that.
The same went with Brian—his brother, as it turned out. And Harrison, his son. Dexter felt things for those people, but they were different. Those were family, the people he was genetically tied to. Of course, he would care about them.
But you weren't family, and yet he still cared about you. It was a different kind of caring. And it was confusing. Dexter had convinced himself for years that he was a high-functioning sociopath, but lately…
Lately, he was beginning to question if that was true. Simple glances from you could bring an unwelcome smile to his lips. And when he heard the sound of your voice, he could feel his chest getting warm. It was a nice feeling, something he'd only experienced briefly with Rita, but then, that relationship was different too.
It was hard to put his finger on it, but being with you was just… easy. And it didn't feel like work. There was no pretending. Dexter didn't have to act when he was around you. He didn't need to try to be someone he wasn't. It was the real him.
It was terrifying.
Because now, as he sat on your couch, watching as you moved gracefully around your small apartment, the feeling was back, and he didn't know how to deal with it.
He should have been home with Harrison, but the little boy was staying over at Debra’s tonight, so he didn't have any responsibilities. The passenger within him didn’t see it as a problem either, considering he’d just recently “disposed" his latest target.
It was nice, Dexter decided, to relax every once in a while. Work and family didn't give him a lot of opportunities to do so, and now that the two were temporarily taken care of, he felt he deserved to be lazy for a bit.
You didn’t have a TV in your living room, so the two of you settled for movies. Dexter didn’t really have a preference for them. He could watch a comedy, action, drama, or horror and not feel strongly for or against any of them.
Apparently, you didn't mind what he watched either because he could see the spark of excitement in your eyes when you pulled out the case for one of the worst comedy films Dexter had ever seen.
He'd seen it before. Not with you, one of the movies Vince shoved down his throat when he planned a night out with him, Angel, and Quinn.
It wasn't his favorite, not by a long shot, but the grin on your face and the way you eagerly skipped to the DVD player, set the disk inside, and closed the hatch made him bite his tongue.
Dexter had learned a long time ago that you were a very expressive person. And even though most of the time your feelings weren't displayed on your face, your eyes told another story. Such opposites to his own, Dexter often found himself fascinated by the light they held.
You had a passion for life that was rare, and it drew him in. It was a quality he lacked, and he could see it in everything you did. Whether it was talking about the newest book you read or making coffee, you put all of yourself into your actions.
It was something that Dexter had never understood. How could you have such a strong sense of self? Didn't it get tiring, having to live up to a standard of being so… so good?
But then again, you'd always been better than him. He might’ve been smarter in some regards, but what was intelligence if it didn't come from a place of morality? You were better, purer than him. He knew it, and everyone else did, too, even if they weren’t aware of how pure he wasn’t
That's why this was so wrong. This thing that had been going on for the past couple of months between the two of you. The subtle touches, the longing stares, the late-night calls. It was all wrong.
You were similar to Rita in some ways. You were kind and compassionate, always looking for the good in others. You had a knack for taking care of people, whether they needed it or not.
Dexter could tell that was your nature, and it was one of the things that initially attracted him to you. All the things he lacked, you had. But that didn't mean that you could replace Rita. He didn’t want you to.
And that was the difference. While he may have found qualities in you that resembled the ones he'd found in Rita, you were not her. Rita was gone, and it was his fault. She didn’t deserve to die, and yet she did. She deserved to grow old, to see Harrison grow up.
She deserved better.
The same went for you. You didn’t deserve a monster like him. The more he thought about it, the more he came to the conclusion that he should stay away. It was for the best of both of you.
And yet he was here. On your couch, watching a shitty movie and drinking the beer you'd offered him. Because, despite his efforts, he couldn't keep his distance from you.
He should've known. When it came to you, Dexter didn't have a choice.
His gaze drifted over to your form as you sat down beside him. You were smiling, your eyes bright and focused on the television. A lock of hair fell across your face, and you pushed it back, the sleeve of your hoodie falling down slightly.
Dexter had never been so tempted to reach out and touch someone in his life.
It was a feeling that had been creeping up on him the last few weeks, and now, sitting with you, watching a bad movie, it was at an all-time high. He'd never craved intimacy. But there was something about you, a pull that he couldn't deny.
It gave him a sick feeling in his stomach. Reminded him of that need with Lila. God, Lila. What a mess that had turned out to be. Another thing to add to his growing list of mistakes.
And yet, the longer he stared, the more he found himself leaning forward. He didn’t register what he was doing until his lips were a hair width away from yours.
You froze but didn't move away. The only indication that you were startled was the widening of your eyes. They bored into his, unflinching. He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears.
He was scared. Scared? Yes. That was what he was feeling. Why? He didn't know. Fear was new. It was a feeling reserved for Deb and sometimes his son, but even then, it was different.
But as Dexter gazed at you, so close and so beautiful, the fear melted away. It was replaced by a warmth that he was quickly becoming familiar with. It made his body thrum and his blood rush. It made him feel alive.
You were the first one to make a move. Well, not really a move, just the smallest shift forward, and then you were breathing the same air as him. You weren't kissing. You were just… waiting. Waiting for him to make the final move.
It was like an unspoken rule between the two of you, the power dynamic. He was the dominant one, and you were the submissive. You had never fought against it. You were a people pleaser, and he knew that.
It was one of the reasons he knew this was wrong. Because he couldn't stop, and you would never ask him to. Even now, as he hesitated, you waited patiently. You trusted him.
Why did you have to trust him? Why couldn't you be more selfish, more like him?
But deep down, Dexter knew that it wasn't your nature. You couldn't change, not any more than he could.
So, after another agonizing second, he closed the distance between you.
It was gentle, the way his lips pressed against yours. A stark contrast to the usual forcefulness he applied when taking his victims. No, with you, he was careful. Almost timid.
Your lips were soft and smooth, and the kiss was sweet. Nothing more than a simple caress. Dexter didn’t expect the tingling sensation it would cause, but the slight brush of your mouth sent shivers down his spine.
The kiss was short and chaste, but it was enough to leave him feeling dizzy. The heat spread through him, from the tips of his toes all the way to his cheeks.
Dexter pulled back, and you stared at him. His breath hitched in his throat at the look in your eyes. There was something there, something that mirrored his own emotions.
Was it possible? Was he really capable of such intense emotion?
Maybe he was.
You didn’t move. It was like time had stopped, and the only sound that could be heard was his own uneven breathing. That, and the movie playing in the background, which was forgotten as soon as your lips touched.
The urge to reach out and grab you was there. He could feel the need deep in his bones, in his soul. But instead, Dexter sat, staring. Staring into the eyes of the woman who had somehow managed to break down all the walls he'd spent his life building.
You didn't speak. There was nothing to say. No words could describe the feelings that had surfaced between the two of you. So, instead, you smiled. A simple, beautiful smile that had him feeling weak.
He could have stayed there forever, just looking at you, taking in the beauty that was you. It was a new experience for him, and it was nice.
“Debra is going to be pissed," you finally said, breaking the silence. “I’ll be bullied into telling her every detail."
He blinked. Once. Twice. Then, his lips curled up in amusement. It was true. Eventually, she’ll figure it out. Maybe she already knew but was waiting for confirmation. Debra was good at figuring out things, even if it wasn’t the most obvious answer.
His sister was good at a lot of things, like being a detective. And, apparently, being an interfering matchmaking nuisance.
At least she wouldn’t call you the things she called Lila.
The thought made him chuckle, and you looked at him in confusion, but it would have to stay a mystery to you. For what was life without a few private jokes between siblings, right?
You didn’t press for answers, though. You did what you’ve always done and waited for him—waited for him as if it was his turn in Chess.
And he did the only thing he could think to do. He kissed you again. And again. And again. And again. Until he had you pinned beneath him, your arms around his neck, and your breath coming out in heavy gasps.
The kisses were still innocent, just as you were. But he could feel the passion behind them, the hunger. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt that. It had been a long, long time.
But the longer he kissed you, the more the heat grew, and soon, he was lost in the sensation. Your hands found their way into his hair, and you tugged at the strands. His heart was racing, and the sound of his own ragged breathing filled his ears.
It was exhilarating.
Your lips parted, allowing his tongue to slip inside, and the innocence was gone. Replaced by a desire that left him trembling. The feeling of your tongue against his, the taste of you on his lips, the smell of your shampoo mixed with your unique scent—it was all intoxicating.
The movie continued to play in the background, forgotten as you pulled him closer. The warmth in his chest intensified, and Dexter didn't fight it. Instead, he embraced it. He gave in to his emotions and let himself feel.
He didn’t go too far; he knew you weren't ready for that yet. The craving was there, and it was strong, but the moment wasn’t right. Instead, he satisfied himself by touching your skin, mapping out every inch of it, memorizing the way it felt under his fingertips.
And, when you finally pulled away, breathless and flushed, he held onto you, refusing to let go. His eyes searched yours, searching for something. Anything. He didn’t know what he was looking for, but whatever it was, he didn’t find it.
He mostly saw fear, anger, and some regret when he had them pinned down beneath him. Of course, that was usually the case with his victims. Fear, anger, and regret were normal emotions—a reaction to being trapped by their own demise.
Having someone look up at him with emotions on the other side of the spectrum was different. Not a bad different, just... different.
Rita had been the first to look at him like that. Lumen did, too, once upon a time. And Lila, well, her emotions were never consistent.
But you? You looked up at him with an expression that was all too familiar and yet not quite the same. Your eyes were full of affection and desire, yes. But they were also filled with something else. Something he couldn't place.
Something he couldn’t understand.
"Dex,” your voice was so soft, a whisper. He almost didn’t hear it, and yet, he felt it. He felt the way his name rolled off your tongue, and it was like music to his ears.
"Yeah?" he whispered back. He didn’t know why he did that; it wasn't like the two of you were speaking in a library or something. Maybe it was the way the light danced in your eyes, the way the colors reflected off the white walls, casting an ethereal glow.
"I didn’t expect you to be… like this," you murmured. You ran a finger over his cheek, down to his jawline. He swallowed thickly. He could feel his pulse quicken.
"Like what?" he asked, his voice rough.
"Not bad," you replied. Your lips curved up, and his eyes were drawn to them. They were red and swollen from kissing, and it was such a contrast to the pale skin of your face.
"You think I'm not bad?" he said, raising his brows. "I'm flattered."
You shook your head. "You know what I mean," you said. "I just meant that you're different than how you come off. I didn’t think you'd be so... bold.”
He snorted.
Bold.
If you only knew.
"I guess I'm full of surprises," he said, smirking. You rolled your eyes and punched him lightly in the shoulder, only for him to catch it and press a kiss to the back of your hand. It was something he picked up from a movie once, and it seemed to be a pretty romantic gesture. And by the look on your face, it seemed to be appreciated.
You didn't say anything else. You didn't have to. There was nothing else to say. The two of you simply enjoyed each other's company, content to just be together. The movie might've been a failure, but the night wasn’t.
And when Dexter finally left, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief. Not the type of relief he felt after a successful kill, but the type of relief one feels after a burden is lifted off their shoulders. The type of relief one gets when they are finally honest with themselves.
Rita was gone. Lumen was gone. And although his guilt and shame were still there, his self-loathing and fear were slowly starting to fade away. It wasn't gone, it was never going to be, but it was a start.
A fresh start.
A new beginning.
A new moon.
Yes, tonight was the night that changed everything. Tonight, Dexter Morgan learned that maybe he was more than the monster he thought he was.
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zunaki · 11 months
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more Dexter doodles for the five people left in this fandom <3
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atlantisview · 1 year
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jakegyllenbaalz · 2 months
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dexter morgan icons (dexter tv show, 2006 - 2013)
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roemantics · 5 months
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I always feel so so bad for Deb
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norawriteswords · 19 days
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CAT & MOUSE.
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notes:: thank you so much for all your love on my previous post - I didn’t realize so many other people love Brian moser too🥹🥹 this fic is me trying to get back into writing, so I apologize if there’s errors or it’s written weirdly :( there should be approximately 900 words! Fem pronouns are used and i think the terms “girl” and “girlfriend” are in there a couple times. Sorry not a lot happens here but I’m hoping to do another chapter? Also, no use of y/n!!
You sighed and rubbed your eyes, feeling tiredness seep into your body. The quiet ambience of the precinct wasn’t exactly helping your drowsiness either. Distant ringing phones and low chatter faded into white noise as you struggled to stay awake.
You lazily pushed your mouse, switching tabs. You were beyond exhausted, and quite frankly sick of sitting at your desk. At the ding of the elevator you unceremoniously turned your head, expecting one of your fellow officers to return from a coffee run.
Your eyes widened at the familiar figure approaching you. You smiled softly. “Rudy? What are you doing here?” He had clearly just come from work himself, still wearing his white button up and black slacks. He looked more relaxed, shedding his lab coat and unbuttoning the first couple buttons of his shirt.
“Thought I’d see my favourite detective.” He smiled and thoughtfully tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear. “And bring you some of the hard stuff.” He mumbled sarcastically, handing you a cup of coffee and a pastry.
You smiled, exhaling in amusement at his comment. “Rudy… that’s so sweet of you.. you didn’t have to.” you gushed, touched by his little gesture. He smiled, leaning on your desk. He gave you a little wave, motioning for you to eat. You were quick to break into the little pastry, having a bite.
“So, how’s the investigation going?” He asked. He looked around, taking in the precinct. You groaned. “Torturous.” You sipped your coffee, appreciating how fresh it was. “We have absolutely no leads.”
Brian feigned a frown. “Really? You don’t have a shred of evidence?” He asked. He was fishing. You shook your head. “Well… I mean we had something. But it didn’t work out. We got a partial print on a lozenge wrapper- but it’s not in the system.”
Brian’s entire body froze. He blinked. “A lozenge wrapper?” He repeated. You nodded, breaking off another piece of the flaky pastry. “Yeah. I guess our guy is really into lozenges or something because Tucci told us while he was captive he would constantly hear that kinda..” you paused, thinking of how to verbalize it best. “That crinkly wrapper sound. You know?”
Brian nodded. “Yeah. So?” You paused to chew your pastry. Brian was about to lose his mind. “So, we went back to the crime scene, and I found a lozenge wrapper. But like I said, no usable prints.” You grumbled.
Brian’s heart rate steadied again. “Well, that sucks doll. Sorry.” He said affectionately, looking down at you. You smiled, basking in his affection. “It is what it is. I know we’ll nail him one way or another.” Your hopefulness brought a smile to his face. “Atta girl.” So naive.
You were supposed to be his eyes and ears in the Miami Metro PD, you were supposed to be an object to him. But how could you be an object? You with your smiles and love. God it was sickening how he fell for you. He desperately tried to detach. To use you for your purpose. He lured you into giving him the occasional insight, a little hint, some words spilled over drinks, some stolen peeks at your notebook, but nothing substantial. He was attached to you. He refused to call it love, but rather fondness. Affection. Regardless it was something he didn’t want to feel.
He sighed, wanting to find as many clues about the case as he could, while still trying to seem like an attentive boyfriend. “Any dinner plans?” He asked, looking at a whiteboard beside your desk. Photos of suspects, locations, bodies. He felt a pang of pride.
“No. Did you wanna get something?” You peered up at him, hoping he’d say yes. He smiled, and your heart fluttered a little. “It’s almost one in the morning doll. I don’t think much is open.” You glanced at your watch in disbelief. “Jesus Christ.” You muttered.
He gently tilted your head up to look at him. “You should swing by my place. I’ll cook you something.” He offered. You couldn’t help your smitten expression. “Oh yeah? Like… steaks? And fries?” You smirked, trying to fish for a yes. He smiled, stroking your cheek a little. “Yeah. Steaks and fries.”
“Perfect.” You stood up, pressing a kiss to his lips, standing on your tiptoes. His hands immediately found their spot on your waist as you kissed him. “Give me ten minutes to wrap some stuff up. Wait here.” You ordered. He smiles and held his hands up. “Yes detective.”
As you happily walked away to go freshen up and return some files Brian saw his chance. He glanced around the mostly empty precinct before sitting in your desk chair. He clicked around a little, trying to find any trace of that lozenge wrapper.
He opened up a file, containing a digital copy of the partial print and possible matches. He ran the cursor along the list, deleting every potential match. He shut the tab, immediately switching to another one. He didn’t want you to find out his secret. Not like this. No. He wanted you to earn it. You were a clever girl, and one of his mistakes was no way to catch him.
He stood up and tucked in your chair, shifting his weight. You walked back, holding your coat. “Ready?”You asked. He smiled and nodded, his hand on your lower back as he walked you to the elevator. “Ready.” He pressed a chaste kiss to the side of your head.
You’d find out in due time. He’d made sure. And he was certain you’d get a nice little promotion too. He was helping you! Your career. And moving his plan along too. He liked your little game of unsuspecting cat and mouse.
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maycanady · 1 month
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DEXTER 7.01 "Are You…?"
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megustasqualo · 15 days
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damn dex
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macbethz · 3 months
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was it because of you?
s8 deb attempted murder-suicide by car scene is bad. but the version of it i invented in my head? you cant even imagine
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dexterdefender · 1 month
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My sister doesn't deserve to be in this kind of pain.
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humonculuss · 7 months
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Debra was horribly neglected too... Harry punished her anytime she tried to be apart of things with him and Dexter. Throwing his beer at the walls, making Debra clean up glass and beer on her birthday.
Harry used his kids to vent his frustrations with the system. The irony falls on his moral superiority when you think of all the things he did.
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happy74827 · 28 days
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You Must Be Haunting Me
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[Brian Moser x Female!Reader]
Synopsis: Even after a year, you’re still haunted by the Ice Truck Killer.
WC: 2643
Category: Angst, No Comfort {TW: Not Proof Read 😞}
I did another one!! Are you guys proud of me? 🥹
So, rewatching the season, I forgot how sassy he was so I wanted to really show off that aspect in this one. Then my patience was over it, so the ending is just kinda… bland. But it’s okay because it’s Brian (he seriously needs more attention FOR REAL).
Anyway, for those 14 Brian fans… this one’s for you 🫶
『••✎••』
The dark circles beneath your eyes. The way you can barely stand on your feet, your body so exhausted that you can hardly lift a finger to defend yourself. You’re like a walking corpse, and he's the one responsible for putting you in this state.
It started one year ago. One year ago, you moved to Miami and became the victim of a killer. It wasn't until his brother came along and put him six feet under that you began to heal and get back into the normal, everyday routine. But then he showed up.
It was one of those nights where you’d randomly get a jolt in your sleep. You sat up straight, the sheets pooling at your hips as you looked around the room. Your breathing was shallow, and sweat was beading on your brow. You felt a shiver run up your spine as you slowly laid back down.
"You sleep soundly."
His voice caused your heart to stop. You knew who it was, the same man who had terrorized you, who made your life a living hell. Slowly, you turned to your side, staring wide-eyed at the dark figure at the end of your bed. Your hands began to shake and tremble as you reached for the lamp on your nightstand.
"Oh, don't bother."
In an instant, with the sound of fingers snapping, the lamp's light went out. You could hear a chuckle coming from the intruder, and you were paralyzed, afraid to make a move.
I mean, it couldn’t be him, right? It was just some sick joke. He was dead. He couldn’t be here.
He couldn’t.
But, god, he looked the exact same. The curly dark hair, the pale skin. He was just a silhouette in the darkness of your room, and yet, you could tell that the grin he wore was the same grin that he had on the day you met him.
"You look like you’ve seen a ghost." He mused, moving closer towards you. His weight caused the bed to dip slightly, and you could feel the fear begin to take over your body. "Should I start saying boo?"
Your throat was dry, and you couldn’t speak; all you could do was stare at him, frozen in place. He lowered his head in amusement and chuckled, leaving his lips once more.
It was when his eyes weren’t on you that broke you out of your daze. You shot up from the bed, nearly tumbling over yourself as you ran to the dresser, grabbing the nearest thing you could find and throwing it at him. It was a vase, one that held a bouquet of flowers, that shattered against the wall, causing him to look up.
"…Was that supposed to scare me?" He asked, raising a brow as he tilted his head, an almost bored expression on his face. "You’ve got the aim of a blind man."
"Get out of my house!"
The sound of your own voice startled you. Anger wasn’t necessarily the emotion you normally felt, but now it was the only thing that was running through you. Anger and adrenaline.
He stood from the bed, taking a step closer to you, the broken glass crunching beneath his feet. You didn’t care; you took a step back, holding your hand out as if it would stop him from coming any closer.
"Get away from me, you psycho."
He laughed. He actually fucking laughed.
"Psycho?" He repeated, "That’s a new one."
"Stay back." You hissed, feeling the tears well up in your eyes.
He took another step.
"Don't touch me!"
Another. He was only inches away from you now, and the thought of him being so close made you want to vomit.
The annoyed sigh he let out when he noticed your hand trembling was enough to set you off. You didn’t think twice; the only thought in your mind was to get him out, and so you did.
When he was walking towards you, your mind remembered the small kitchen knife that you left on the counter. Quickly, you ran past him, dodging his hands as he reached out to grab you, and grabbing the knife, and in one quick motion, you turned and stabbed him.
"That’s not going to—"
It went right through his chest. He stared down at the knife, then up at you, with that all-knowing expression.
He sighed again, "…work."
What the fuck?
In the next moment, he vanished, and the knife fell to the ground, the clattering against the linoleum floor echoing through the house.
For a minute, you thought it was a dream. That is, until he appeared in the chair beside you, his arms crossed, his eyes boring holes into your face.
"You can’t hurt me." He said, his tone flat, his eyes narrowed, "I can’t either. Not physically, anyhow."
You stared at him. He stared at you.
"I can fuck you up, though." He continued, "In many ways. Mentally, emotionally… The possibilities are endless."
"What the hell is this?" You questioned, your brows furrowing, "Are you some kind of— of, what, demented Casper?"
His expression was unreadable, but then again, he always had that look on his face.
"Casper? Wow, seriously? You remind me why I don't watch movies." He groaned, shaking his head.
"You didn't answer my question."
"And you won't like my answer."
"Try me."
"You’ve lost it." He shrugged, "Completely off the hinges, you know? And that's saying something, considering who you’re talking to."
"I don't—"
"Have a mental disorder."
"What?"
"That's what it's called. When someone has delusions of grandeur, where they think someone is after them. Someone, of course, meaning me." He explained, a grin spreading across his lips. "But, no. It's all in your head. Just. Like. Me."
The words sank in, and you stared down at the floor, your mind processing everything he was telling you.
"No, I'm not crazy." You murmured, mostly to yourself, but loud enough for him to hear.
"You're not? Well, how else would you explain me being here?" He asked, cocking a brow, "I’m dead, remember? My dear brother made sure of that."
"I—"
"And you know damn well I’d never wear this out of the office. It's not exactly the most flattering."
It was then you noticed what he was wearing.
He had his lab coat on. His entire outfit was the same thing he wore the day he met you. You were with Debra to question him about Tucci’s recovery and, god, if he didn't make the biggest impression.
It was pretty hard not to like him when he was giving one of his patients, a little boy, a lollipop from his jar and making a joke.
You remember telling Deb, 'What a nice guy'.
Oh, the irony. The fucking irony.
"What a nice guy." You found yourself repeating before looking him up and down, your lips curling in disgust. "You were just fucking with me the whole time, weren't you?"
He shrugged, "What's it matter now? I'm dead."
"It matters to me."
"Would you like me to apologize? To beg for your forgiveness?" He asked, a mocking tone in his voice, "Would that make you feel better?"
You were silent.
"Wouldn’t do anything." He continued, "And it certainly wouldn't change a thing. But, hey! By all means, you go right ahead and play pretend. Maybe then, you'll sleep better at night."
You scoffed. He was such a piece of shit.
"How much are you gonna torture me, huh?" You asked, crossing your arms over your chest, "Torture me like you did, Debra? Like your brother? Are you just going to follow me around like a bad smell? Make my life a living hell, like you did theirs?"
"I didn't torture him." He stated, a hint of malice in his tone, "He's my brother."
"Like that means shit."
"He was just like me. A lot like me, in fact." He went on, his eyes flickering over to you. "I could see myself in him."
"Well, he killed you." You countered, "That doesn't really seem like brotherly love."
"He did what he had to." He shrugged, "That Harry… he was a real piece of work, wasn't he?"
You were quiet again.
"And Debra?"
"A pain in my ass. Always sticking her nose in places where it doesn't belong." He replied, shaking his head. "But, then again, that was her job, wasn't it?"
"You broke her. You tore her apart." You snapped, the memories of the past year filling your mind. "She really loved you. She really did."
"I know."
"You don't care."
"Not at all." He said, the faintest hint of a smirk appearing. "Not in the slightest."
"Fuck you."
He laughed, his laughter filling the room before it faded out, leaving the both of you in a heavy silence.
He had a different aura around him this time. It might be the aura of a dead man, a hallucination. But he still felt so… present. Even his mannerisms were the same—the way he moved his hands, the way he tilted his head. His eyes still had that glint of mischief. It was so real.
So. Fucking. Real.
"If your just in my head, why can’t I just kick you out?" You asked, finally breaking the silence, "Make you go away."
"Because, even after a year, I still affect you." He answered, his voice low. "Even though you try to ignore it and push the memories back, I’ll always be there. In the back of your mind."
"Why couldn’t you be my dead childhood dog or something? Why do you have to be some crazy serial killer that ruined my life?" You said, shaking your head.
"I'm not boring."
"Neither was my childhood dog."
"Rocky didn't have a single interesting thing about him. All he did was drool and lick himself." He countered, his lips pursing.
"How the hell do you know— oh, fuck this. Just go away." You groaned, rubbing your temples.
He didn't respond, and the room was quiet. For a second, you thought he actually listened. Then, you heard him hum.
"Hm. No."
"Jesus Christ."
"Now, that's really a name I haven't heard in a while."
This was how it became. For months, you would have these random conversations with him, and no matter how much you tried, he would never leave. Everywhere you went, he was there.
Work.
Shopping.
Even at the damn bar.
You had no idea what this was. You didn't know if this was a side effect of the trauma you went through. Whether it was your mind trying to cope or just the result of a lack of sleep. Whatever it was, it was draining the life out of you.
You felt like a shell. Your coworkers knew something was wrong. The way your eyes were dull and lifeless, the dark circles, the slump in your shoulders.
They were concerned—except Debra. She was too concerned about the case to pay attention to anyone else.
You weren't really sure what day it was. Or month. Time was going by, and you were slowly dying mentally, as he put it.
"Is this because I can't sleep?" You asked him one night, staring at the ceiling, your voice hoarse, "Because I can't go to sleep without seeing your face? Or is it because I don't have the energy to live?"
"I would say both."
You groaned, throwing an arm over your eyes, "What did I do to deserve this?"
"It's not what you did." He replied, his eyes locked on yours, "It's what I did."
"Yeah, well, thanks."
"Don't mention it."
The two of you sat there in silence before he cleared his throat.
"How are things with my favorite bloodhound?" He asked a curious tone in his voice. "Is he still sleeping with that cute blonde, or did he wise up and break it off?"
"Rita. Her name is Rita." You corrected him, shaking your head, "She’s his girlfriend, not his flavor of the week."
"Hm."
"And, for your information, they're fine. Great, actually."
"How disappointing." He scoffed, leaning back in his seat. He genuinely looked upset, which caused a snicker to leave your lips. "What's so funny?"
"You are." You replied, looking over at him, "You're so pathetic."
He blinked.
"You're a dead man. Dead. How can you be disappointed about his love life?"
"I'm his older brother." He stated, his jaw tightening, "I want what's best for him."
"Really? Then why aren't you in his brain, harassing him?" You questioned, a smile coming onto your face, "You know what? I bet he's sleeping great. He doesn't have to deal with this. Not like I do."
"I would love to give him a good old-fashioned night terror. It'd be easy, too. He's not exactly the most stable." He replied, his eyes narrowing slightly. "But his brain is too messy. He's always been that way."
"I guess he takes after his brother."
"He took after our father. The one thing I did was make him forget about it." He retorted, his tone harsh, "Notice how he never talks about the old man? Or the past? Now it’s only me. That's because of me. I took him from that shitty childhood. I gave him a better life. A better everything. I could’ve given him the world."
You were quiet.
"Instead, he killed me." He spat, the venom in his voice obvious. "Because of that stupid, half-witted sailor mouth."
You honestly had to give your brain props for this one. He was too realistic. He was too Brian.
"You know what?" You began, sitting up, "I really am feeling a lobotomy."
At that, he actually laughed. Now that… that was different from the chuckles and snickers, this was a full laugh, something you haven't heard since you met him. It was loud, it was obnoxious, and it was the only thing you could hear.
It was the last thing you heard before the most amazing thing happened.
You fell asleep.
In the morning, you woke up to a pounding on your door and an annoying ringing. Groaning, you pulled the pillow over your head, hoping the noises would disappear. Instead, they only got louder, and you had no choice but to get up.
"Coming, coming!" You shouted, shuffling out of the bedroom and towards the door, the banging and the ringing still going on.
When you opened the door, you saw Debra.
"Good. You're up." She greeted, her expression annoyed. "Where were you last night?"
"Sleeping. What are you, my mom?"
"I called you. I even sent someone by your house. You weren't here." She stated, a slight bite in her voice, "And I'm not your mom, but if I were, I'd spank you."
"For what?"
"We have a meeting in five minutes." She said, checking her watch, "Get dressed. I'm waiting."
"Shit."
In record time, you threw on some jeans and a shirt, and within the next three minutes, you were out the door and in the car with Debra.
But as she pulled out of the driveway, he appeared directly in front of her.
"Hey, watch—"
But he only winked at you before disappearing. And at the time, you found it nothing but him being a prick. But, later on, you would realize.
This was the last time you would ever see him.
A month went by. And another. And another.
Then, a year.
The visions of the past still came. The thoughts of him were still there. The memories were still fresh. And sometimes, if you listened closely, you could still hear that laugh.
But you weren’t afraid anymore. You had no reason to be. And so, you moved on. You continued living because that's what he would've hated. And that made you smile.
Because, now, it wasn't him haunting you.
It was you haunting him.
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traumatizedsam · 8 months
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love it when little siblings still believe in their big brothers' goodness even while knowing they have killed people
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girl-bateman · 1 year
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Imagine unknowingly dating a serial killer (also your brothers brother), almost getting murdered by said serial killer, going to therapy to deal with the trauma, getting through 2 sessions before your therapist declares that youre in love with your ACTUAL brother, going through all the stages of denial before finally coming to terms with the fact that you ARE in love with your brother, mustering up the currage to confess but instead catching him in the middle of a homicide because he too, is a serial killer
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gayhoediaz · 9 months
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9-1-1 4.13 || dexter 4.09
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