#desert dwellers

[a-bluedream-posts]

Journey Through the Desert by Matrixias

[lunawolfewolf]

Chupacabra

Described by many as a Mangy sort of Dog like Creature... The Chupacabra eats or sucks the blood of a variety of live stock like that of a Vampire...

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #24: Before We Were So Rudely INTERRUPTED!

September, 1987

DOMINUS REX!

Namor gonna sue you for using a thing that’s like his thing. God help you if you also have sweet abs.

I like the title of this issue. It feels. Offended. Like the comic was trying to tell a simple story about the West Coast Avengers fighting a doofus and his quirky miniboss squad but then had to go through all this lost in time stuff and is being snippy about it.

Anyway.

HOPEFULLY I can streamline the last time section now that most of the plot threads have been tied up.

Last times on West Coast Avengers: the team got Lost in Space-Time when Dominus tricked them into standing on Dr Doom’s time machine.

They had many hijinxes. Hawkeye and co went to Ancient Egypt and were involved in the background of one of the earliest Fantastic Four stories! And Hawkeye met Khonshu!

In less fun news, Mockingbird got trapped in cowboy times and love potioned by Phantom Rider. After some Hawkeye cosplay brought her to her senses, she was fairly furious and wound up killing or accidental pre-meditated deathing him. Which she does not tell Hawkeye once they’re reunited.

Hank Pym, Moon Knight (sent in the present by Khonshu in the past), and La Espirita eventually retrieved the team with the Fantastic Four’s version of Dr Doom’s time machine. So now they’re all in the present again.

Yup, that’s much less complicated.

Now that we’re back to before we were so rudely interrupted, it’s time for Dominus to be an actual antagonist and not just an inciting incident.

Show us what you got, dude who replaced Lucifer.

... The guy that broke Xavier’s spine, I mean. Not the devil man.

So Dominus decides to explain to Sunstroke all about his alien race and their evil schemes.

Why he does this, I don’t know. Villains just love the sound of their own voices.

So the Dominus and Lucifer race is called the Arcane.

Like the Skrulls, they Secretly Invade planets and conquer them through subversion. Unlike Secret Invasion, the Arcane are actually good at it.

The Arcane are actually pretty obscure on the galactic stage. BECAUSE THEY’RE ACTUALLY GOOD AT BEING STEALTH INVADERS. THEY DON’T BROADCAST THEMSELVES.

It helps that the Arcane have a really effective method of taking over that requires a lot less infiltrating.

They just have one agent go to a planet, build a hidden base, and build a Master Machine suited for that planet. It can take years but once its done, the machine activates and sends out mind control rays that enslave the entire planet.

The Skrulls wish they were this effective and evil.

Dominus also exposits about Lucifer, mostly so he can call him a fuck up.

Lucifer was sent to take over Earth but got thwarted by Xavier once and then the X-Men.

For being a fuck up, Lucifer was banished to the dimension called the Nameless Dimension.

Then Lucifer broke out of the Nameless Dimension and menaced Iron Man. And then later he menaced Falcon and Captain America.

SUFFICE TO SAY, he had some mission creep there. And all these fights with superheroes were definitely drawing more attention than the none that the Arcane would prefer.

So boom, Lucifer was terminated by his people and the Arcane left Earth alone until people forgot that there was an alien named Lucifer who was hugely important in Xavier’s backstory.

What’s funny is that with the sliding timescale, the amount of time the Arcane waited until deciding ‘good enough!’ ever diminishes.

Three years prior to this comic, Dominus decided ‘good enough!’ and came to Earth to do the whole Arcane thing. Except without being a fuck up like Lucifer.

I don’t know that he succeeded because: look: his mission was to set up base in the American Southwest and try not to attract attention from the X-Men or from the Defenders or Rangers.

Dominus created the Desert Dwellers to spy on those three groups and he set up his time machine scheme if any of them found him. Which the West Coast Avengers did which is why they were Lost in Space-Time.

But why did the Desert Dwellers attack the West Coast Avengers at all? They could have laid low and the Avengers would have come and gone, never any wiser about the secret villain plot.

Its not like Dominus ever needs to fight any superhero teams if he gets his Master Machine working.

Dominus, you’re as much a fuck up as Lucifer is, aren’t you?

He says he had the Desert Dwellers lure the West Coast Avengers so he could send them into the past and then destroyed the Fantastic Four’s time machine so they couldn’t be found but, my dude, you are drawing a lot of attention to yourself!

The West Coast Avengers aren’t even one of the groups you were originally worried about so now you still have them to worry about AND you’ve aggroed the Fantastic Four!

You fuck up!

You absolute and total goon!

You complete kneebiter!

Anyway, yeah, the West Coast Avengers are looking to tie off the loose end of the jerk who sent them back in time.

Each of the Avengers and guests gets a chance to have some thoughts about their most pressing thoughts.

Iron Man is thrilled that not only is he back in the present but Hank Pym is back to superheroing. He’s felt really weird about Hank hanging out as a not superhero in previous issues so this is a good turn.

Hank Pym is also thrilled that the Avengers seem to be accepting him returning to superheroing despite uh his past difficulties.

Tigra is also thrilled to be back in the present. Because she’s been wanting to stalk Dominus for sending them back in time. She’s feeling the cat instincts.

Moon Knight is tagging along because he’s trying to figure out what Khonshu is trying to tell him by sending him on this quest and revealing that Hawkeye is the one who made his random bullshit weapons.

La Espirita is praying because yeah.

Wonder Man wants to get this over with so he can get back to his big Hollywood dreams.

Hawkeye is also revved up to fight Dominus.

Hawkeye: “You put us through the ringer, Dominus, but all that happened was, you showed us what we can do! I’ve got a team, buddy! I’ve got a team that can take anybody -- and we’re takin’ YOU!”

And Mockingbird is just thinking how much she missed Clint Hawkeye when they were separated in TIME. Annnnnd how grateful she is he’ll neverrrrr find out about that guy she killed.

Yeah, I’m just waiting for that shoe to drop.

When the West Coast Avengers turn the corner in the cave, they find the quirky mini-boss squad the Desert Dwellers waiting.

Except they’ve kind of become a quirky mini-boss army.

Yeah, there’s apparently fifty of them now. Multiples of Gila, Butte, and Cactus. Still just one Sunstroke though.

Dominus can just make more dudes.

(Fun little touch here is Moon Knight’s bafflement at a dude named Cactus. He wasn’t here for the first part of the story.)

Anyway, the Avengers and guests just jump right into without even so much as an assemble.

Hawkeye and Tigra fight a bunch of Cactuses. Cacti? Anyway, Hawkeye shoots a buzzsaw arrow because of course he has one. And Tigra gets punched in the ass by Cactus and winds up with an ass full of cactus needles.

Then she goes angry cat and tears some Cactusi apart.

Wonder Man and Iron Man have another argument while punching some Buttes.

Wonder Man: “One punch! One punch is all I need per Butte!”

Iron Man: “They may have been created in a machine, Wonder Man, but that doesn’t mean they’re not alive!”

Wonder Man: “I’m not killing them, lead-head! Even demolished they don’t die! Why don’t you just get hip to yourself and back off, anyway? Give me some room!”

Iron Man: “Room?!! You’re lucky to be here at all, the way you’re acting!”

While Hank Pym embiggens a baseball bat and starts whacking some Gila monsters, La Espirita flies off to go deal with Suns- well its Sunstroke but she calls him Sunspot.

That’s a completely different dude, Bonita, but its a reasonable mistake to make since she only heard the name once.

Anyway, since Sunstroke is the only unique in this mob, she figures he’s the leader of the mook army.

Mockingbird goes ham on some more Buttes with her battle-staves. Like seriously ham.

Mockingbird: “Now there’s a man after my own heart! I’ve used battle-staves all through my costumed career -- and they haven’t let me down yet! They’ve never let me down, and I’ve never let myself down! No matter what anyone does to me -- they always have to listen to the Mockingbird!”

Hawkeye overhears this and wonders why she’s being so being so intense.

But almost immediately dismisses it as “husbands never do understand wives altogether -- !”

Cool, Hawkeye. Entirely dropping the ball there.

And Moon Knight is still processing all this, while chopping up Cactuses.

Moon Knight: “Hawkeye designed this grappling hook -- ! The Sun is always the same, but the Moon always changes, doesn’t it, Khonshu? Maybe you’re right! Acting as your fist by myself drove me crazy -- drove away the woman I love -- ! Maybe it’s time for the Moon Knight to change!”

So he’s interpreted this whole adventure to mean that Khonshu wants him to have more of a social group.

If he’s reading the situation right, pretty cool of Khonshu to be watching out for Moon Knight’s well-being.

More recent depictions have him less cool.

Anyway.

La Espirita and Sunstroke have a standoff, blasting fire at each other.

He does a ‘we meet at last thing’ and reveals he’s been spying on her. But he calls her Firebird so she points out that he can’t have been doing a great job with it.

And they have a sort of symbolism debate.

She says she’s La Espirita because she burns with “the holy and eternal flame of spirit!” (She has the power of god and anime on her side?)

Sunstroke counters that he has the power of the Sun.

She counter counters that many religions equate god and the Sun so clearly they’re equally matched.

Then he flies off because he’s realized that while they were standoffing, the West Coast Avengers have mopped the floor with the other 49 Desert Dwellers.

Basically: fuck this, the boss man can take over.

The West Coast Avengers chase after him, ascending a spiral staircase that leads up the mountain.

Since they have some time -- it is a rather tall staircase -- Hawkeye tells Hank he’s glad he’s back superheroing.

Tigra picks up the conversation and says that Hank was there for her when she was at her lowest point and is glad that someone was there for Hank.

Hank Pym: “Nobody’s gladder than me, Tigra! Things looked so dark and dismal at that moment, but look at all the brighter moments since -- the moments I would have missed!”

Tigra: “Thanks, Espirita!”

Yeah, thanks Espirita!

La Espirita: “Thank God -- he brought me there!”

Thanks God!

Hank clarifies to the group that he’s just going to be a superhero (although he calls it an adventurer) but he won’t use a codename or wear a costume.

Iron Man: “Costumes don’t mean anything, Avenger! It’s the man who counts! The only exception to those rules is Wonder Man!”

Wow, throwing shade at Wonder Man’s costume when he’s flying right next to you.

But Tony isn’t saying anything that everyone isn’t thinking. Wonder Man’s costume is an abomination.

Look at Hank having a laugh at Simon’s expense. Good to see him smiling again.

The Avengers and guests catch up to Sunstroke or rather he’s stopped running in a big machined room and told them “come and get me.”

Which is an obvious trap but superheroes love running into traps and they run right into Dominus who jumps out of a nook.

The Avengers aren’t exactly impressed because they just beat up an army of 49 mooks and Dominus probably doesn’t have another time machine to trick them with.

Dominus: “Ignorant fools! My race built an empire by enslaving lesser races with the master machine -- and each new race required specific improvements to the machine -- until the machine became so powerful -- it enslaved US! I am Dominus, but I am not this man! I am the MACHINE!”

The man has had basically no story except ‘like Lucifer’ but now he’s pulling a surprise twist when they don’t even know him enough to be surprised.

Anyway, he also blasts pink mind control energy at the Avengers. Plus guests.

Zordon was right.

Too much pink energy IS dangerous.

For reasons, Dominus couldn’t do this the first time the Avengers West Coast barged in. But now all eight of the intruders are under his control. Yup, his sensors indicate that specifically eight minds are under his control. Specifically.

Do you like the Discworld book Carpe Jungulum? I do.

But that’s apropos of nothing.

Tigra thinks that if she were still split between cat and human halves, she could fight against this but alas, she has integrated her selves into one.

With the Avengers and guests slumped and helpless under his control, Dominus, of course, monologues. Villains. Love to hear themselves talk. Et cetera.

Dominus: “The Arcane were the dominant life-form in the universe! When I, Dominus, succeeded in converting even them to my servitors -- I knew I would never again have to watch helplessly as fools like Lucifer failed to put me to proper use!”

Dominus sends Sunstroke off to go do some pre-discussed task while Dominus prepares to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

And then Moon Knight steps forward out of the pack of helpless heroes.

Steps forward and socks Dominus right in his head.

Dominus is baffled by how Moon Knight is fighting against him, especially since the sensors still read Moon Knight is under his control.

Moon Knight: “The Moon keeps one face always hidden, dear boy -- it doesn’t reveal its secrets!”

Dominus tries blasting Moon Knight with MORE pink mind control energy and he’s briefly affected but soon walks forward, saying it doesn’t work on him.

And Dominus flips his shit.

This cannot be, that sort of thing.

Dominus: “I’ve never failed! Not on a thousand worlds! The Arcane always improved me, to triumph over any adversary!”

Moon Knight: “You ain’t never met the fist o’ Khonshu, though!”

Dominus: “A god of the Moon can’t stop me! I’ve conquered whole worlds -- every kind of world -- ! I am all-powerful! I run an empire no one but me can ever guess at! I am DOMINUS!”

Moon Knight: “But I’m SLICK!”

You sure are, Moon Knight.

Dominus tries pulling out a science laser gun and shooting Moon Knight but the caped crusader just ducks under the blast and then grapples Dominus.

As he notes, Dominus is really remote controlling this body so there’s a bit of a lag between intention and action and that makes it hard to actually nail a moving target.

Dominus: “Why can’t I stop you? Why can’t I STOP you?!! WHY?!!”

And Dominus, who is the computer running everything, freaks out so much that the entire facility starts to explode.

Y’know. As one does.

And the Dominus puppet body just collapses.

So how did Moon Knight resist the powerful pink mind control?

He’s got three minds in his brain and Dominus only took over two before giving assuming Moon Knight was entirely immune.

I dunno how this kind of trope comes off on a mental health level but Discworld pulls a very similar trick with Agnes Nitt and her alter ego Perdita X. Dream. And Lapis Stevenuniverse being too depressed to be incapacitated by a depression beam. So I can’t hate it.

Since Moon Knight thinks Khonshu wants him to be an Avenger, he decides to not really explain what happened lest he freak them out with his three personalities thing.

So when La Espirita asks how he resisted the pink energy, he dodges the question by saying that if he explained it, Dominus would stop having a mental breakdown over being fallible.

And also that they need to run before the mountain collapses on them.

And almost as soon as they escape the evil lair, the mountain does collapse.

To reveal a not unphallic looking spaceship blast off with the core of Dominus inside.

Hawkeye orders the fliers Iron Man, Wonder Man, and La Espirita to stop Dominus’ penis rocket from escaping but it soon escapes the atmosphere and the heroes run into trouble.

At first, Iron Man assumes that La Espirita will have to turn back.

What with needing precious oxygen to live.

Except... she doesn’t? She can breathe in space.

Which she, of course, decides is a miracle.

Now here’s the womp womp moment.

Wonder Man can also breathe in space so he assumed no problem with pursuing the penis rocket into space.

But he forgot his back jets are jets, not rockets. So require oxygen to work.

And he goes plummeting back towards the ground, where he would make one chagrined crater.

But Iron Man (and also La Espirita, who’s not going to be the only nerd flying into space) give up pursuing Dominus. Iron Man catches Wonder Man, plays it off with a joke, and Wonder Man tears him a new asshole.

Wonder Man: “You -- you grandstander! It didn’t matter if I fell! I’m invulnerable!”

Iron Man: “Maybe you are! We’ve never seen you fall that far! If you were wrong -- !”

Wonder Man: “I’m not wrong!”

Iron Man: “Mister, you’re about as wrong as anybody I’ve ever met!”

The two stop fighting, only because La Espirita asks them not to argue in front of the others.

Hawkeye notices, but pretends he didn’t.

As far as he’s concerned, this mission was a big success. Sure, they loss Dominus but it’ll take him years to build back up if he comes back to Earth. And they lost Sunstroke but who cares?

SUCCESSFUL MISSION MEANS BARBECUE!

Hawkeye just really likes barbecue.

And he’s thrilled at all the possible new West Coast Avengers hanging around.

But later, when the Avengers retrieve their Quinjet from the Albuquerque airport - where its apparently been just racking in the parking fees - and return to the West Coast Avengers Compound, they find Menachim Heitz, the assistant to Wonder Man’s producer waiting for them.

The guy, with some glasses that can only be described as a fashion statement probably, is completely flustered that Wonder Man just vanished from the face of the Earth.

Menachim doesn’t have time to actually listen to Wonder Man’s thrilling tale of where he was because there’s a MAJOR PUBLIC RELATIONS DISASTER THAT NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED.

That being the public hates Wonder Man’s costume.

Hey!

Finally, the Marvel public has good opinions.

This is so funny. When the new costume was introduced, the book shilled it so hard. Big splash page opening to introduce it and everyone told Simon Wonder Man how cool his new outfit was.

But now, I’d bet, the reactions are in from the readers of the comic book, and they are underwhelmed. So suddenly Iron Man is making snide comments about what a terrible outfit it is and the public has voiced its outrage.

Its like when Danny Chase was introduced to the Teen Titans with much shilling but suddenly Wolfman started having everyone tell him he was a jerk. Nothing is sadder or funnier than the author turning against their own idea because of public opinion.

Wonder Man protests that his producer was the one who okayed the new costume and Menachim admits that it was a bad call but now time to go back to something like his previous outfit which people actually like.

Wonder Man also protests that HE likes his current outfit and the Avengers tries to get his back about how he can wear whatever dumb thing he wants but Simon snaps at them.

Wonder Man: “I have two careers, and I have to think of both of them... and I’m still learning the other one, so I need [Menachim’s] advice! And don’t look at me like that! None of you knows the other worlds I’m operating in now! When you co-star in an Arkon movie, then you can criticize me! And that especially means you, Leadhead! You can keep you advice!”

Hurt and confused by this, the Avengers just kind of shrug it off and tell Simon they’ll be at their celebratory barbecue.

While Wonder Man wonders (ha) aloud to Menachim if it isn’t time for him to leave the Avengers.

Dun dun dun!

Usually I’d say oh no but you’re being a pill, Simon, and we’ve got three people who can replace you. Maybe some time off will do you some good.

NEXT TIME, it would be another pair of crossing over annuals but now I’m way behind on East Coast Avengers and need to sync the books back up so I can do those crossing over annuals.

The work of a me is never done.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because of all this good work I do for you, the viewer. Like and reblog also. Please don’t make me do a telethon for notes.

[jadeseadragon]

Amanda Sage, Earth Guardian

“The Earth Guardian is witness to the flowering and flourishing of humanity awakening to its role as conscious stewards of the earth. Rainbow weavings recognize the spectrum of existence as we gather again around the round blanket to share our gifts and stories. This prayer is seen and in motion. We are remembering the future.”

NFT animation by Simon Haiduk

Music by Desert Dwellers

[calvin-p-s]

The Faceless

a group of bandits, settled in the centre of the fireforgean desert. they are known to raid merchants and travellers passing through their territory, the survivors telling tales of desert demons, clawing for their souls in the harsh sandstorms.

and whilst those rumours are obviously blowing the whole thing up, it is rather true at it's core.

the faceless strike during the cover of sandstorms, abusing the lack of experience their victims have. swiftly they loot the most important items and people, before using the howling winds to disguise their retreat. this way they leave no traces behind... or at least none that isn't already buried deep within the clutches of the vast desert.

and even if they became known for covering their faces to protect themselves from the harsh sands, it also proved to be rather handy in day-to-day life, enabling the members and their families, to have a chance to be treated normally in society, without the association to the ruthless criminals.

[queen-cro-astralnauta]

As someone who lives in the desert, I am so looking forward to the cooler weather kicking in. It will still be warm, but much cooler than the 115+(f) weather of the summer.

[kenneturner]

Last Night Before Overnight Rain

Last Night Before Overnight Rain

Last Night Before Overnight Rain — Image by kenne Desert dwellers wait For the summer rains to fall Refreshing the air — kenne

[beskarfrog]

he convinced him to get in

[bloobluebloo]

So what if I told you, what if I told you right, that framing Ganondorf as an "incarnation of hatred" without any strong narrative justification for his hatred apart from the idea that he was born that way is, in fact, a negative stereotype that is often associated with the vague concept of "average desert dwelling man in a piece of media", especially in recent times. It doesn't help that Ganondorf is also portrayed as someone that seeks complete annihilation and destruction of everything *without any reason apart from burning hatred* (he says he wants to be a king, why would he destroy the land he wishes to rule???). It really leans into the whole "they are bred to hate, they are bred to wish for the annihilation of civilized and decent countries that uphold peace and the rule of law, they want to turn our land into the same barren, backward wastelands they came from".

[sunofaraven]

Oneshot - Let It Be the Last Time

What's this? An angsty retelling of Grian and Scar's Limited Life Ep8? You betcha, it's me after all.

“Wait, you killed Mom,” Scar choked on the realization. He was right in front of Grian now, reaching for him. Whether for revenge or comfort, Scar wasn’t sure. “Scar.” Grian’s tone was a warning. “Don’t make me take you too.” There was a sharp blade angled at Scar’s neck but he lifted a hand and gently wiped blood from Grian’s cheek with his thumb.

[astrowarr]

the ghosts we knew

double life/life series scar & grian character study

summary:

"To love is to burn," Scar suggests. "That's what it is for you?" "Yeah," he whispers. And then, "Perhaps a bit like falling, too. Falling and burning and… dying, probably." The words are horrifically grim, even to Grian's ears, even with added context. Context like this: loving is falling, but sometimes it means falling in a different way. Sometimes, it's falling like I didn't mind the gap, like a bouquet of wild lilacs and poppies cultivated by scarred hands. Grian doesn't say this, but love hurts a lot like Scar. — Knee deep in their soul bond, Grian and Scar have a lot left unsaid.

word count: 3,044

warnings: none

a/n: character study is the love of my life and i be STUDYING. set in early double life, written with romantic intentions. rbs appreciated for exposure !

ao3 link again

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #17: OUTTA TIME!

February, 1987

How many new super-villains can you spot?

What a fun idea for a cover.

And the answer may surprise you.

But we’ll get there late.

For now it is time for the West Coast Avengers to start an eight issue arc, probably specifically to piss me off.

An eight issue arc is ridiculous in the year 1987!

But we’re embarking on one anyway.

Last relevant times on West Coast Avengers: There was a time when Hawkeye was really trying to get the Thing to join the West Coast Avengers. Credit where its due, it coulda been fun. But he was ignoring (somewhat intentionally) Firebird who was also hanging around wanting to be an Avenger.

By the time the Thing got drawn back to the Fantastic Four book, Firebird decided to take some time away from the team. But its been some time so Hawkeye figures its time to go bug her into joining.

Also, Tigra had been too horny and started dating Hank Pym (and other people simultaneously). But after a quest to hell and demon cat hell, her cat and human souls were more harmoniously merged and now she’s not horny. So she dumped Hank Pym.

Hank Pym was - unhealthily - pinning his entire emotional well-being after his robot son died on dating Tigra. So after she dumped him, he tried organizing a capture of his old enemy Whirlwind to prove that he was still a cool guy even if he wasn’t an action guy.

The plan went without a hitch except Hank falling off a building a little but Whirlwind also viciously mocked him for quitting being a superhero for mental health reasons. Now Hank is contemplating suicide.

And will attempt it. So this is a content warning.

The opening splash kind of sets the tone, I’m afraid.

The West Coast Avengers are living their best superhero lives, about to go off on a rollicking adventure.

Completely unaware of Hank’s dark mood as he chooses to isolate himself at the West Coast Avengers Compound.

Half of this issue is going to be a downer (although as I said last time the downer is going to get interrupted). The other half is going to be a bizarre random encounter with a quirky miniboss squad.

Since the Hank half of the plot is mostly  quick one page checking in on how he’s doing, I’m going to do all the Hank plot together, after the West Coast Avengers stuff.

By the way: even with Tigra’s cat instincts not going haywire and making her hate all strange women, she still kind of hates Firebird.

She thinks she has a “holier-than-thou” attitude. Which is amazing, considering Firebird spent most of her panel time with Tigra confused why Tigra hated her so much.

Anyway.

Hawkeye isn’t taking Tigra’s opinion on Firebird into consideration (although how a group clicks interpersonally really should be his concern as leader of the team), he just finally wants a sixth team member dammit!

Off they go, living their best superhero lives!

Flying way too low, Hawkeye holy shit!

And to pass the time and for dramatic irony, Iron Man starts talking about how cool Hank Pym was in the old days, when he was Ant-Man. When the Avengers first formed. When he used his ants in cool ways and proposed that the team become a team.

Yeah, good ol’ Hank Pym.

Mockingbird wonders if Hank will ever come back to being a superhero which Tigra thinks probably not because of how comfortable he was at just organizing the fight against Whirlwind.

Wonder Man: “Well, anybody who’d choose an identity of ‘Ant-Man’ -- what can you expect? I mean, Hank’s a good guy, but not everybody in the old guard was cut out for life in the fast lane!”

Hawkeye: ‘So you’ve chosen death.’

No, but seriously, shit talking Hank pisses off Hawkeye, who tells him to knock it off, and Iron Man, who is starting to get irritated with Wonder Simon’s newfound confidence.

Like a lot of places Albuquerque just isn’t familiar with superheroes walking around the place. More familiar than some, since the Defenders used to headquarter in the Rockies.

But the Defenders left the area and its been back to normal for a time.

So the Avengers attract a lot of attention when they just start walking around town.

The West Coast Avengers don’t want to mess up Firebird’s secret identity (if she has a secret identity?) by having a bunch of superheroes show up on a Completely Normal Civilian’s doorstep.

So Tigra decides they should go in plainclothes.

Which she makes Hawkeye pay for.

I think she just wanted a new outfit but you know what, that’s fair. Extort Hawkeye for money. He’s the boss, that’s part of being boss.

The comic also does what comics sometimes do. Spend time thinking about how something mundane would work.

The other West Coast Avengers can just take off their costumes and look like Completely Normal Civilians. Tony Stark is a millionaire but I guess people don’t really know his face? Wonder Man is the only one who gets singled out as maybe recognizable but he can turn his glowy eyes off and sure he’s a movie star now but the movie isn’t out and he has glowy eyes in it.

(Its a nice touch that apparently everyone knows everyone’s identity so they’re comfortable doing this)

Anyway. Tigra is covered in fur and has bestial facial features like teefs and also a tail. So she gets long sleeves blouse and long skirt to cover her up as much as possible. And a shawl to cover her face. And she wraps the tail around her leg because I guess she can’t stop it from doing what it wants? Alas, she didn’t think of the Saiyan tail belt maneuver.

WAIT

DOESN’T SHE HAVE THAT AMULET THAT TURNS HER HUMAN FORM? MAKING THIS ENTIRELY UNNECESSARY?

Or does it not work at all now that her souls have been merged better?

Either is plausible.

Funny exchange happens where Wonder Simon mentions that covering his orange body by bundling up is what the Thing would do.

Tigra: “Thanks for the comparison, Simon! I’ll be sure and invite Sylvester Stallone to our next party!”

Tigra: ‘You two are basically the same, right?’

The West Coast Avengers head off to find Firebird’s place, her address being something that Tony or Clint learned off-panel at some point. Can’t tell, the panel where they’re discussing this is silhouetted but I guess since this trip was Clint’s idea, it makes more sense that he did the research.

Except when the team knocks on Bonita Juarez’s (Firebird) door, there’s no answer. And the landlord says she hasn’t been seen in about forty days.

Alllllso. He wants the rent she owes or he’s going to repossess all her stuff.

Tigra, who has claimed in this issue that she doesn’t really like Firebird, decides that they need to stay in Albuquerque until they find her, to make sure she’s alright.

Also (her tail twitching in annoyance with landlord man), she gets Hawkeye to pay Firebird’s rent.

Hawkeye grumbles about being treated like a piggybank but does it.

You’re a cool person sometimes, Tigra and also Hawkeye.

Next, the West Coast Avengers go to the Office of Social Services where Bonita Juarez works.

Huh, she did mention being a social worker!

Except she doesn’t work there anymore. She was fired a month ago because she missed a week of work. Or rather, she is fired if anyone manages to tell her she is because they also haven’t seen her for probably around the same forty days.

Playing off anything else they know about Firebird, they ask her coworkers about her priest, Father Ramirez and they direct the team to Sister Teresa’s church in Buena Vista.

Which is a very churchy looking church, with the huge buff Jesus on a crucifix hanging on the pulpit.

Father Ramirez also hasn’t seen her for a while, which is weird because she WAS one of his most devout parishioners but she stopped coming to confession.

But she saw someone who MIGHT have been her about forty days ago.

Gasp, the dates match!

He saw someone strange in the chapel late at night praying. And then there was a bright flare from the praying candles and she was gone. And he hasn’t seen Bonita since, if that was Bonita.

Having exhausted their leads, Tony suggests they check with the police. Maybe file a missing person report?

Tigra: “Much as I hate to admit it, guys, Tony’s right! Firebird may be a religious fanatic, but the Avengers have to protect everybody!”

Mockingbird: “I don’t know that I’d call her a ‘fanatic’, Tigra -- but I’m glad to see some signs of the maturity the integration of your two souls brought you!”

What??

Tigra is the one who insisted they stay and investigate the disappearance in the first place!

What is going on with the writing that everybody forgot what happened a couple pages ago?

Anyway, the group of villains teased on the cover show up and gloat that the Avengers won’t have to worry about Firebird’s well-being for long because they’re about to get beaten up by a dumb group of goofy idiots with silly names.

Editorializing a little but come on. One is named Butte.

But yeah, speaking of the cover, here’s the answer.

The rock woman is 1. The lizard was 2. The man hiding in the sun was 3. And for the trick answer, that innocuous cactus was actually a cactus man 4.

Four, four new vilains ah ah.

Despite it being me who was making fun of the names and not any of the in-universe characters, Sunstroke reacts like Wonder Man personally slapped Cactus in the face for having a stupid name.

Sunstroke: “I didn’t name him, Wonder Man -- but why don’t you laugh at him after you’ve fought him?”

Wonder Man: “Look out! He can throw his spines -- hard!”

And Cactus just machine guns them at Wonder Man, who has to defend his squishier teammates by blocking the spines with his invulnerable ass.

... Is Cactus just a cactuar from Final Fantasy? Yes or yes?

C’mon, he even looks like one.

HE PREDATES THEM THOUGH which leads me to the horrifying possibility that Cactuars from Final Fantasy might have been inspired by this... this supervillain de jour who only has five appearances.

Anyway, Gila starts tail whipping Iron Man.

Tigra jumps on Butte but is surprised to learn that the woman made of stone is hard to cut.

And Wonder Man tries punching off Cactus’ arm but the guy just grows it back.

Wonder Man is more than happy to test how often Cactus can regrow his arms (the one and only time that Simon has ever reminded me of Abridged Freeza) but Mockingbird calls for a CHANGE PLACES!

And steals Cactus from Wonder Man.

As she points out, she can.... she can bat his thorns aside with her battle-staves.

Really?

Even though he’s machine gunning them??

Okay, sure.

She tells Wonder Man to help the others.

Tigra says she doesn’t need help fighting Butte but she ditches the rock girl soon enough anyway.

Hawkeye remembers a fun science fact that Gila Monsters rely more on scent than vision. So he shoots a stink arrow at Gila.

Yes, Hawkeye has a stink arrow. Why wouldn’t he have a stink arrow? You sound like a fool.

And while Gila is disoriented by the sudden stink, Tigra ditches Butte and leaps on Gila.

Cat fighting a lizard. Hah.

Sunstroke starts narrating how Butte, Gila, and Cactus weren’t humans before “Dominus” created them “but Sunstroke was -- and Sunstroke created himself!”

So the West Coast Avengers know now that a “Dominus” is maybe behind this possibly.

But the fight is still going on so Iron Man doesn’t have time for 20 questions.

Sunstroke also brags about how he has “a man’s sense of strategy, melded with the molten power of the daystar -- !” and blasts Iron Man with waves of heat, trying to melt his armor off of him.

Except Tony has been fighting jokers like the Melter for years and Master Pandemonium recently, so he’s upgraded his suit’s coating to reflect excess heat and light, right back at its source.

Doesn’t help here because Sunstroke can absorb heat and light to get stronger. Which... wouldn’t that just bring him back to how strong he was before he blasted that energy at Iron Man? Whatever.

It doesn't matter.

Wonder Man has been impatiently trying to decide who needs help and he decided to just do what Mockingbird did and steal someone’s fight. So now he’s fighting Sunstroke.

Deal with it, Iron Man.

Iron Man deals with it by fighting Butte to prevent her from ganging up on Tigra with Gila. But he’s not happy.

Iron Man: I liked it when we started clicking as a team, but this is getting out of hand! Who does Simon think he is anyway? His ionic energy may make him stronger than I am, but we’ve never found that out for sure! It’s almost as if he lumps me in with the “old guard” he dismissed when talking about Hank -- !

Everyone just stealing everyone’s opponents here.

Sunstroke praises that the West Coast Avengers are impressive but claims to be more impressive still.

Sunstroke: “You people are impressive, Wonder Man -- but my veins are filled with fire! My very flesh sizzles and sears!

Wonder Man: “That’s only heat and light Sunstroke -- and I’m -- well, you know -- !

Wonder Man tanks that heat like its nothing. His clothing and jetpack also tank that heat like its nothing. Best not to think about it.

Then he shreds the wings on Sunstroke’s costume. Which he apparently needed to catch thermals and fly.

Sunstroke: “Impossible! You should be charred ashes!”

Wonder Man: “No way, lightning bug! You’re only a sun -- and I’m a star!”

Hah!

Now I’m pretty convinced Wonder Man is going to have a humbling pretty soon. They’re really playing up his ego in this issue.

Anyway, with Sunstroke grounded, Cactus caught in a net by Hawkeye off-panel, and Butte and Gila bonked together... well, look, I never bought these goobers as a threat to the West Coast Avengers.

Some very careful choreography had to be used to downplay the fact that the West Coast Avengers had these doofs outnumbered.

So they’re done. They’re so done that they get suddenly yoinked off the battlefield.

As the fastest on the team, Iron Man jets after them but finds that even at his full speed, the force yoinking them is slowly widening the gap.

But he’s not just a pretty face under a pretty helmet. Iron Man tracks the infrared of Sunstroke and tells the Avengers to get in the Quinjet and follow his signal.

While still tracking the villains, Iron Man finds himself flying into the middle of nowhere, Arizona. Three hundred and eleven miles southwest of where he started, I guess, and only twenty-one miles from the Mexican border.

These villains expeditiously retreating have taken him on a merry flight.

But Iron Man tracks Sunstroke to a hill that looks like a hundred other hills but is in fact a special hill because it’s a hidden base. Iron Man’s Iron Sensors can detect the hum of electricity and a magnetic field from the hill.

The other West Coast Avengers arrive and join Iron Man in storming the cave, expecting the villain group’s boss Dominus to be there to make it a five on five fight.

Dominus is there, yup.

And he’s apparently the successor to the alien Lucifer who Iron Man and I think Professor Xavier have dealt with before.

He’s here to enslave the planet and set up shop in Arizona.

He was worried that Firebird or the Rangers would discover his plan but he’s perfectly happy to eliminate the Avengers if they’re the ones who stumble on him instead.

So as soon as the West Coast Avengers cluelessly walk onto Doctor Doom’s time platform, Dominus just sends them BACK IN TIIIIIIME!

Dominus: “Gone! As simple as that -- gone! I spent months seeking the Latverian’s device in this endless desert -- and then, when I’d succeeded, I found it damaged beyond repair -- so that it only goes BACKWARD IN TIME! Those meddlers can never return to the present! They’re gone -- forever! HA HA HA HA HA”

Y’know what? Sure. I’ll give it to him.

Good job, Dominus.

Tricking the Avengers into walking on a specific spot and then sending them into the past forever? A good scheme.

I’m sure the West Coast Avengers will neverrrrrr be back to punch you.

But that’s the team’s subplot. Now what has Hank been up to?

So the reason why Hank decided to skip out on the Fun Arizona Adventure to put his affairs in order and kill himself.

Because Tigra broke up with him and because Whirlwind sassed him and because of other things. I guess recent events were more final straws.

But he’s going to leave everything perfect for when the West Coast Avengers come back so nobody can say he failed as manager of the compound.

One of the things we see him dealing with is the landscaping.

Yes, it’s been mentioned a few times and I think appeared once, yes there’s a landscaping team. And Hank had BIG PLANS for his vision of the West Coast Avengers Compound. A long-term plan. To make the place look as GRAND as it did as a silent movie star’s palace.

The landscaping crew is a little confused why he’s telling them this because there’s so much ground to cover on these grounds that any BIG PLAN is going to take six months to a year of work. They’re taking it one job at a time, the big picture is not really going to help them.

Which is fine! Hank Pym wrote down everything he wanted done and the order he wants them done in!

Just in case!

So if they ever need to know what to do when and he’s not available for some reason, he put the list in an envelope and put it in the desk in his bungalow! Just in case!

The landscaping crew is kinda weirded out by this conversation but also he’s the boss so they don’t really want to engage with it? Not their place to get involved and such.

With the grand landscaping plan scene serving to illustrate Hank putting all his majordomo duties in order, he next sits down to write letters to everyone.

Everyone except Janet van Dyne.

He can’t bring himself to just leave her with a letter and decides to call her and leave her with a cryptic, slightly ominous conversation.

She assumes he’s calling about Avengers business -- maybe the business with Tiger Shark and Whirlwind? Because the East Coast Avengers have just finished up with the Masters of Evil arc so those two were loose ends.

Hank mentions that Tigra and Hellcat beat the two villains, sending Jan asking about whether Hellcat is on the team now and how she’s doing. Hank just answering that Hellcat’s doing fine, she’s married. Annoying Jan because that’s not much detail!

Wasp: “Honestly! You never tell me anything!”

Hank Pym: “No -- I guess I don’t, do I? We never could communicate as well as we’d have liked! I was serious -- I saw the consequences of everything! You were flighty, and saw no consequences at all! Over time, we each grew to be like the other, so I lost sight of consequences and ruined myself -- while you because a chairman! -- chairperson!”

Wasp: ““Hank? Are you all right?”

Hank Pym: “Oh, sure! It’s just -- even when we’d each become the other, we were still in two different places!”

Wasp: “It happens to some couples, Hank! Divorce gets more common every year... I’m sorry to say!”

Hank Pym: “Yeah -- me, too! It was all my fault -- I’ve never denied that. And I want you to know I don’t blame you in the slightest -- for anything, honey!”

Wasp: “Well -- if I’d been a different sort of wife... I wish we could have made it work, Hank!”

Hank Pym: “That’s... that’s what I wanted to hear now! That’s a good way to end it -- !”

Wasp: “Hank? Hank, would you mind if I spoke with Hawkeye for a moment -- ?”

Hank Pym: “Clint’s not here right now, honey! None of them are. Goodbye! I love you!”

Not going to be surprised if Wasp and/or the East Coast Avengers show up at some point to check on Hank.

She was picking up on the vibe by the end of the conversation.

I looked ahead in the East Coast Avengers book and she definitely doesn’t do that there. In that book, she’s going to step down as chairperson to take some personal time after all that Masters of Evil stuff.

Coulda happened off-panel though.

Anyway.

Hank sits down with a gun, screws up his nerve, gets ready to shoot himself, and then gets interrupted by Firebird.

Or La Espirita now, I guess.

Nice new costume, Bonita.

It’s almost funny that if the West Coast Avengers had stayed home instead of going looking for her, they would have had a much easier time and still met her anyway.

Or maybe she wouldn’t have popped out unless Hank gave her the opportunity to play Clarence Odbody and maybe it wouldn’t have happened when it did if the Avengers were hanging around.

Anyway, of the ways I thought this subplot would go, I didn’t expect it to lead to someone sharing the good news about Jesus.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because I hit 20 followers and now I need to do that thing I promised to do at 20 and also I need to remember what it was. Also like and reblog.

[atheadax]

Health update: my body is still feeling always tired weak from my condition. BUT- I finally mustered up enough strength to use my brand new GoPro to film myself riding my bicycle through a town* my region! I have a YouTube channel that I will upload the videos to. I will send out a notice to those interested (please comment down below) when I get the vids uploaded. Thank you for the few of you that believe in me! Lol

Обновление здоровья: мое тело все еще чувствует себя всегда уставшим, слабым от моего состояния. НО!! Я наконец-то набрался достаточно сил, чтобы использовать свою новую GoPro, чтобы снять себя на велосипеде по городу* в моем регионе! У меня есть канал на YouTube, на который я буду загружать видео. Я отправлю уведомление заинтересованным (пожалуйста, прокомментируйте ниже), когда я получу загруженные видео. Спасибо за тех немногих из вас, кто верит в меня! Лол

Оновлення стану здоров’я: моє тіло все ще відчуває постійну втому, слабкість через стан. АЛЕ!!! я нарешті зібрався достатньо сил, щоб використати свою новеньку GoPro, щоб зняти себе на велосипеді через місто* мого регіону! У мене є канал YouTube, на який я буду завантажувати відео. Я надішлю сповіщення зацікавленим (будь ласка, прокоментуйте нижче), коли я завантажу відео. Дякую тим небагатьом із вас, хто вірить у мене! Лол

*It’s not a town, just a trail in the middle of a desert followed by a tiny little town/Это не город, а просто тропа посреди пустыни, за которой следует крошечный городок./Це не місто, а просто стежка посеред пустелі, за якою йде маленьке містечко

[ghostyr-el]

psst hey what if I posted OC art on here

and maybe oc lore maybe huehue

Eka from my very lovely desert dwellers world he's part of a group of three (Eka, Elise, and Francis) and kind of is my favorite woops,,

[hoosbandewan]

Literally how are Ewan Mitchell's lips always so soft and perfect looking? The man has never had chapped lips in his life