#despite this post i just wanna say that i do appreciate all the mutuals that have made me laugh or smile

[donkey-hyuck]

-enigma :: mk.l

inspo by this post *mark having a lil crush is a concept.*

gn reader! | classmate!au | high school!au

warnings: food | language | lowercase intended

~ it’s not that mark lee is mysterious. maybe he is, but he was open— friendly. he was buds with everyone yet no one really knew how or who he was. he was an enigma to everyone around him despite the popularity he carried.

mark was the type to always give back. again, he was a friendly person and was never the type to say no. that would bring him into situations he didn’t quite vibe with but a peep was never heard from him.

just like right now where he’s trying to tutor you in the school library after school. you two weren’t friends but you were also not total strangers. he knew you and you knew him. your platonic relationship was completely mutual. or, more so your classmate relationship because that was all the link you two had.

finals were coming up and you had tried to cram in all of your subjects into your plans of studying and working on extra problems to make sure they stuck in your brain. only, your calculus class withheld you from studying any sort of mathematical analysis and that’s when you asked mark lee for help. more specifically, you asked huang renjun if he could ask mark for you. the two of them were closer friends so it wouldn’t be weird for renjun to ask for you. and of course, mark was completely okay with tutoring you.

in the midst of mark explaining differential equations, the sound of a plastic bag was heard in front of the two of you.

“hey, mark. i asked jeno if he could give something to you, did you ever receive it?” a girl, who you recalled was in your anatomy class, asked him, her face slightly flushed pink.

mark quietly clears his throat and turns to the girl,“i did. thank you for that, by the way. but it was really unnecessary for you to offer me such an extravagant gift.”

it was awkward for you to sit there and watch. it pained you to see the two of them talk just because of how awkward the air was between them.

“oh it was no problem! i almost forgot,” she took the items out of the bag and placed them in front of him on the table. “i also got these for you. in case you get hungry while studying, or practicing hockey, or writing music.”

you don’t see it but you know he smiles. it’s the same smile he gives to all of his admirers when they give him gifts he won’t easily claim.

“thank you so much. but please, don’t go out of your way to get me anything,” he finally sighs, not trying to be rude but trying to affirm his feelings of unease when your fellow peers gift him things.

“oh. i’m sorry i-” she gets cut off by mark.

“it’s okay. but next time please save it for yourself or your friends. i really appreciate you looking out for me but i can take care of myself,” his voice soft yet firm. he’s beyond assertive, and watching him reject a potential lover hurts your soul. if you were her, you’d definitely cry.

the girl from your anatomy class seems more flustered walking out of the library than when she did walking in. probably too embarrassed to even face him any longer. hell, you would be too if you were in her shoes.

“i’m sorry about that,” he sighs and turns back around to face you.

although your heart hurts for the girl he rejected, you slightly give him a chuckle and shake your head, “there’s nothing to be sorry about. you didn’t know what was coming.”

“yeah, well,” he trails off.

“you can’t blame anyone for liking you. and a lot of people do, by the way.”

he knows. and he hopes you’re one of them.

“i know. and i don’t wanna be a dick to them because they don’t deserve it but they just go out of their way to do things for me and i’m just like— no. please,” he awkwardly laughs and scratches the back of his neck.

you drop the pencil in your hand onto the table, “i think it’s cute. they have enough courage to do little things for you in hopes for a glimpse of your validation, even if rejection is all they should expect. i admire them, i really do.”

it’s all the truth. they hold the bravery you could never obtain, hence why you asked huang renjun to ask mark if he would be able to tutor you instead.

you recalled the moment when you asked huang renjun. he made fun of you, as he always does. it was after school, when he was finishing his ceramics project for the art gallery the school was hosting in hopes for some extra funding.

“why would i do that?” he laughed.

“because you’re a good friend and that’s what good friends do,” you reasoned.

“but why can’t you? don’t you have calculus with mark anyway?” he looked over his shoulder to where you were sitting on a metal stool.

“i do. but i’m not close enough with him to ask if he can tutor me.”

“or…. hear me out… you’re just scared,” he gave you a sneaky smile.

as much as it hurt your pride, maybe if you played victim, renjun would sympathize with your need of academic validation.

“i am. i don’t want to talk to him.”

your words made him laugh louder, “you’re gonna talk to him either way, [y/n].”

“so? it’d be easier for me to not ask him if he can tutor me. it’ll hurt my pride,” you subconsciously pout.

“pride my ass,” he started. with a sigh he said, “fine. i guess i’ll fill your need of studying with mark lee.”

you knew he would come around eventually. and you couldn’t risk the possibility of a big fat F on your final.

“thank you! you’re the best,” you jolted up from your seat.

“yeah. yeah. now leave me alone, i need to finish this.”

that’s how everything started and now you’re here in the library, talking to mark lee about his abundant admirers.

“it hurts my wellbeing of a human to reject them, though. i can easily see how dejected they end up feeling after i let them down,” he runs his fingers through his hair.

“it’s not your fault, though. if they don’t interest you then they don’t interest you. plus it’s only high school and if you end up with one of your lovers then that’s just how it’s meant to be. if you don’t, then that’s also how it’s meant to be.”

you sound so pretty to mark. he then remembers last year’s psychology class when you would speak up about the human emotions and the link they have to each other and the rest of the universe.

“how are you so sure?” he asks, eyes more dilated to you.

you shrugged, “the universe has its quirks. i mean, you can chose to believe it or not, but that’s just my philosophy on romantic and platonic relationships.” you probably sound stupid to mark.

you don’t. he can listen to you talk about all of the multiverses that you believe in. if you’d let him. and he damn well hopes you do.

the air between you is quiet for a moment before you check the watch sitting on your right wrist.

“welp, it’s five o’clock. i gotta get going,” you say, packing your stuff into your bag. “thank you, mark, for helping me study.”

his eyes soften, not wanting the moment to go away because this is the only chance he can get. he’s too scared as well. too scared to open up his heart and pour them out to you. but he remembers he has hockey practice at five thirty.

“of course! if you need any more help don’t be afraid to ask.” he means it. “and don’t ask renjun to ask for you,” he adds on which makes you sheepishly smile.

“shut up.”

—

it’s the night of the art gallery. if you were a no-show renjun would definitely hold a grudge, so you made sure all of your plans were cancelled for this special night.

and a special night it was.

“[y/n]?” asked the voice who came from someone you recognized all too well.

you turned around and smiled at the boy, “hi, mark.”

“i didn’t know you were going to be here,” his head slightly tilted to the right.

you laugh, “well, if i wasn’t going to show up renjun would definitely beat my ass.”

mark laughs as well, “i know. he would beat mine too.”

it’s quiet for a moment, the either of you speaking a word and instead turn to the painting held high on the wall in front of you.

it was beautiful, mesmerizing. it depicted the one-sided love a person held for another and in the end, tragic was bestowed upon the two lovers. it was beautiful yet chaotic. mesmerizing yet wretched. much like mark lee’s infatuation with you.

“it’s pretty,” you start, looking to your right where mark is still observing every detail of the intricate painting. “isn’t it?”

he clears his throat awkwardly and wavers his eyes as he looks at you. he takes in everything of you that he possibly can. every glimpse your way and every word mark has said to you holds thousands upon thousands of feelings he has yet to understand. his gaze softens even more than they had before and he blinks slowly, softly.

“it’s very pretty.”

you smile and turn your head back to the painting as the boy never misses a single heartbeat. his single heartbeat.

mark lee is an enigma entirely. no one truly knew the feelings mark had held for even the daintiest of people. sometimes he doesn’t even know himself.

but one thing is for sure: mark’s one-sided love— both enthralling and anarchic— shall forever be a framed painting merely hanging by a hook in his heart.

—

happy thanksgiving <3

[paladin-of-nerd-fandom65]

'Who am I to Complain?'

As part of my own contribution to this year's first day of Spring 2024, aka the in universe birthday of one Richard John Grayson-Wayne, the First Robin and the crime fighter known as Nightwing, I would like this opportunity finally....FINALLY...posting up for you all a fic that's been in my drafts for pretty much the better part of any entire year. Originally meant on being released last Christmas, various forms of delay, writer's block and other general distractions have prevented me from finally finishing such a project. Well finally after such anticipation at least on my end, I have managed creating a final form for this story I think can satisfy.

For very quick context, this story is a component of my long running idea proposing and lore building of my own version of the DC Comics Universe. In particular, it takes within the long storyline both @thattimdrakeguy and I have crafted for the better part of two years, the first part being involved within the hypothetical Nightwing solo book, 'Clipped Wings' and its follow up crossover with Detective Comics proper, "Blue Hawk Down'. For more information regarding the general summaries of events, check out the links here and here.

I shall like to dedicate this story to my mutuals and friends @adalineozie @meara-eldestofthemall @nightglider124 @faesystem @confusedhummingbird @spider-jaysart @mothnem @lightdusk96 @camo-wolf @sbd-laytall @theredheaded-stuff @celaenaeiln @starlightbelle @shootingstarssel @avaraydrake @pin-crusher2000 @sillymanwithocs @batboyblog @bluegarners @tarisilmarwen @orange-s-mario @altinyns-multimedia-museblog @katmaatui and so many others

Constructive Criticisms are Generally Welcome; Replies and Especially Reblogs are greatly appreciated

The Following May Contain Graphic Scenes of Violence, References to Sexual Assault and other themes not suitable for a Young Audience. Viewer Discretion is Heavily Advised

As per usual, All Rights and Copyrights to Characters and Concepts seen in this work are owned by DC Comics, Inc, a subsidiary of DC Entertaiment and Warner Bros. Discovery

With all that....Happy Birthday Dick Grayson....Here's my gift of Grade A angst for you

Sigh. Cough Cough

Look at yourself. Just Honest to God, Dick, just look at yourself.

Take a good look at those cuts, that blood all over your ugly as hell face, that blood pouring out of your stupid, big fat hole you call a mouth. You wanna know who’s Goddamn fault it was for all this? You wanna know who's responsible for you being more pathetic and a freak than you already are? Cough Cough

You.

Don’t try to deny it. Why should you? 

After all, you allowed this to happen to you, right? Not just with what happened tonight but over these last few weeks. You know what I’m talking about. Losing your home and failing to find out how despite insisting you paid for it. What will Kory Cough say now when she comes back and sees that home you wanted to allow her into isn’t even yours anymore? What kind of fiance are you to allow that? 

  Why stop there? Here you are, without any place to call a house, your face gushing and oozing red as it had been lately, broke, nobody likes you, not a single damn soul cares about you. You wanna know who’s fault it is? Yours. In fact, as you right now are flinging that bottle of peroxide into your ugly face and stinging from it as you deserve, how about we explore what even happened tonight that led to this, shall we? 

  I think I should…Cough

 Three Hours Earlier….

 BAM 

“Ack!” 

“Tell Us Goddamnit, You Blue Wearing Cunt!!” 

As if I would. How do I tell these bastards where the hell Bruce is if I wasn’t even able to speak to him for weeks by now? 

I know what you’re thinking, ‘but are you his…’

Stop right there right now. If you’re gonna pull that whole ‘you’re his son’  bullshit on me, for one thing, at the very most I was adopted, I ain’t his real kid. I never deserved being his real kid at all given who we are. Another thing too; if he were to come to my help, he would’ve done so about…God knows how many times by now lately. I would handle it anyways, what kind of person needs any sort of father or even friends when it was their own damn fault they wound up taking two  bullets to the hamstrings? 

Why yes, that’s what I’m going through and yes it was my Goddamn fault being this utterly stupid and an utter embarrassment with my training for getting caught by those sickos like I was. Now you are thinking, everyone has an off day and…

BAM BAM BAM BAM 

Crap! Two on the calves and two more on my hamstrings, I can tell. 

“Motherfucker….” Damn it all they weren’t supposed to hear that. Great, now they laugh at it. 

The hell’s wrong with me? There’s no time to let them know what’s going with my nerves acting up. 

“You know, guys” (Cough) Keep it in, Grayson! You got something to say these assholes need to hear Damnit! “ You’re getting absolutely nowhere right now. If I knew where Batman was, I still wouldn’t tell you. So what the hell makes you think I do then after an hour and…” 

“Shut the fuck up, Birdfreak!” 

BAM

A kick right to my face? Yeah, another in my long line of failures and that one was justified; I should’ve seen that one coming. Hey, compared to the bullet holes though, it’s nothing really. Besides why even be hurt by that when I have this lowlife staring directly at my ugly mug of a face right now? 

“You know him, more than us here! You have to know where he went! We got a sweet little gig here and I ain’t rushing to see that pointy eared son of a dick trying to ruin it! ‘Sides, you’re in our hands now, so you see; once we’re all done here one way or another, we can get that dough from the cops since they’re looking for you more than us! Now you tell us if he knows about this place and if he’s coming, will ya?! We ain’t got all night and I’m missing my game!” 

Sweet little gig? As in the child trafficking operation they got here right now? Some of those children right behind me behind a cage like animals, forced to see me pinned on my torso and face, taking crap in many ways from them? They call that ‘sweet’ in mine and their faces?! 

“You calling that a game? Selling kids to sexual slavery? I really hate to see what’ll be your idea for a movie if that’s what you.re saying” That quip, I couldn’t help, it was damn true and these creeps needed to hear that. It was about as much a fact as Bruce hates me right now and rightfully so. 

Yet all they do is laugh even harder than before. They’re really….really starting to get on my nerves. 

Their ringleader grins ever so much in my face. His disgusting and unbearable cigarette smoke billows in my face. “So what?”  

So what? So what?? Is that really your best retort to me? It’s unbelievable, just what kind of devils and evils dwell in this city. But it’s evil I hunt for every single night. No one around me sees what I have to or does what I do around these parts. Not Bruce, not Tim, not Kory, no Donna….no one. On that note,  no one should have to. Maybe it’s my failure to stop evil like this and everything I do, everything so wrong and never good enough, that’s why I’m certain Bruce decided just to cut me off. 

No job, no place I can call a house or a home to stay in, no money, no spare clothes, no answering my calls, nothing. It’s been about three months of this so far, a three month test to see if I break if I had nothing, only for the big bad bat wanting me to literally cry my way back home to him. You know what? Screw you too, Bruce. Or whoever was doing all this. I know that, even for you Bruce, ins outs of everything, even you normally won’t stoop this low. It’s not just nothing I’ve been trying to figure out suggests otherwise. Maybe it’s just this….paranoia….no I can’t be paranoid. What’s happening is real and I need to deal with it and…

“Hey Cockscuker, you listening to me??” 

Oh right, this asshole. 

Looking at him, I can’t help myself but make my eyes go towards his own. What does he think would work now to make me talk? 

In his hands was some sort of object. It looks bladed, I can tell based on the glistening of the steel coming from the moonlight coming in through the window. Once he gets a bit closer, I see it now….oh of course….a damn pizza cutter. Oh and just my luck too, in his other hand is a goddamn cheese grater. I guess either this warehouse is for kitchen  tools or just my karma telling me how much I fucking suck and rightfully so again. Maybe the latter. 

The asshole only grins at me. “Okay then, maybe some…slices can get ya to talk. What do you say?” 

I take a deep breath and brace my teeth within my mouth. No use crying out, screaming or any of that weakness than I already showed earlier . This frankly I deserve, and come on. 

I’ve taken a few swings from a baseball bat from Two Face, got injected with Slade’s nanoscopic probes that were shredding my cells inside and out, got blasted by an alternate Luthor, forcibly swallowed a heart paralyzing pill by Slade and the actual Luthor (that bald cunt)….and now just a circular blade and a metal sheet with blades on it on my forehead and face?

Seems fitting enough to take; whatever I’ve done and didn’t do in my vow to protect the innocent and never strive off the path of justice, being a terrible friend, never good enough for Batman as I had always been, letting the only two people that actually had any right to care for me fall to the sandy and hard floor, shattering almost every bone in their bodies when I had only one job to do which was catch them….yeah this is appropriate. This is exactly what I deserve after all of that. Losing my home, my job, and my means to do basically anything for myself, I deserve that.

Who am I to complain, really? 

  Back at the Present Day….

   Sssszzzz….

“Ah Fuck!” 

Peroxide…it never fails to emit any sort of sting on any sort of cut, don’t it, Dick? 

Oh but you gonna start cussing and feeling it now? What the hell’s wrong with you? You can’t handle just a tiny sting of this shit without any yells? 

Suck it up, will ya? You’re acting like a spoiled brat. 

Who are you to complain about really?

Oh and by the way, there goes the last of our Peroxide, just circling down this old bathroom sink drain into God knows sewer pipes along with the blood it splashed off. You're gonna have to fetch some more, Dick. It’s not like Bruce is gonna get us anymore. 

Fuck Him. 

We’ve been putting up with his shit every since we lost are damn place to stay in, then our jobs all over this city, villain after villain breaking out, us being blamed for the Mayor, his wife and girl getting ripped to shreds and blood all over one day with one of your Wingdings, making you hunted down from pretty much everyone (for what only $1.5 Billion Alive? Oh c’mon that's too generous of a bounty for you. I’d put myself at about only 25 cents given your piss poor track record); You know for sure Bruce did all this, all behind the scenes, pulling every string he can to get us like this. 

 And why? Letting him know that you can take care of ourselves that one time and him being this offended by it? Well, fuck it, You’ve been showing him alright! Things are shittybut maybe that’s just how he likes it for you. Nothing gonna change that anytime soon; might as well make it the best for you, because it’s all you can do by now. 

  So now, no shoes, no fucking good socks at all, only one pair of torn sweats, that black tee, suit and toothbrush in your bag, here in this damn blizzard….every breathe getting…heavier….kinda….getting hard to stay awa…Cough Cough Cough

  Hey! Cut it out, Dickface! Cough Keep going at least somewhere! Anywhere out of this snow…so much of it….Wait, that spot there, in this alley. That’ll work for now. 

You hear that, laying on this backpack now….yeah this’ll work….at least not being out in that wind, though…..so much snow….it’s everywhere. It’s been everywhere these last few days. Fitting really, since well you do hear that right?

  C’mon pick it up, Dick, your ears can’t be that piss poor 

Cough

  “May I, as your new Mayor, wish us all in this dear Bludhaven…..”

   Yeah, there it is…..old Mafia boss now politician giving his speech for what today is. 

    “A Good…Merry ... .Christmas…!” 

   Okay, you get the idea. At least that’s one thing you got right….

   Getting sleepy now….

…...pretty cold…..tomorrow might be better….

But at least that’s one thing, Dick….

…this damn city….all of its people….they got a good Christmas….

Gotta close your eyes now…..

Wait….that the Redbird….isn't that….can’t be Timmy…..

Cough Cough

 Heh…looks like he tripped…Not real though….can’t be…..Bruce doesn’t care….you don’t need him…..but yeah….need rest…..you gave them a good Christmas 

Who…am….I….to….Cough…..Complain?

[nobodysdaydreams]

Are you Christian? hope that doesn't sound accusatory

Anon. I love you, but please know there is no possible way to drop into a stranger’s ask box anonymously demanding to know personal information (age, sex/gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, religion, nationality, diagnoses, etc.) without sounding somewhat accusatory or at the very least a little nosey (because why do you need to know that), but reading your disclaimer did make me smile despite my apprehension regarding this inquiry, so I appreciate you adding that in.

This is also a weird one because I genuinely don’t know what answer you are hoping for or if you’re just curious and enjoy dropping into people’s inboxes to ask if they’ve heard the good word of Jesus Christ which I have to admit, is an interesting strategy though not one I’d recommend. I was gonna answer this anon with something like “what are you a cop?” Or “come back with warrant” (classic) but then upon reflection, realized I should probably clear some stuff up in case you are confused. So, uh, to answer the question, yes, I am, though that will require some explanation as religion is not really what this blog is for. This blog is where I dump my hyperfixations, rants about life, links to my fanfics, and maybe make a few friends along the way. Some of the media I engage with like Narnia happens to be Catholic/Christian, or have Christian themes, or be popular in Christian circles, but that’s more coincidental. This blog really has no clear organization at all, I just see stuff I like or personally identify with, reblog, and that’s that, so it’s mostly fandom content, but stuff on neurodivergence and disability slips in a lot because I identity with a lot of it and happen to know a fair amount about it, so it makes sense to have it on my blog from time to time.

Now, I believe you might be coming into my ask box to ask about this because I recently started following and reblogging a few posts from Christian content creators. The reason for that is ironically similar to the reason I got this blog in the first place. I had no one irl to talk about fandoms and hyperfixations with, and people didn’t want me talking about them irl, so I came here to do that, met a lot of nice people, we rant about fandoms together, it’s a good time. Currently, I’m not around people irl who are Christian, so I’ve started coming here for that too, and it’s worked out pretty great. Met some nice people, talked about headcanons and such, found a few neurodivergent Christians and the intersectionality is nice, mostly good stuff.

The one issue I ran into was that a good number of my established followers and mutuals have religious trauma or don’t like religion very much, so to be sensitive to that, I tag every reblog of a religious post “tw religion” or “tw religion mention” so that they know to block the tags if they don’t wanna see it, and then I save my long rants on Christian headcanons and stuff like that for private DM’s and discord conversations with mutuals who are interested in that. It’s just something I do to try to be respectful and acknowledge that while this is something that’s brought a lot of joy and positivity in my life, not everyone has experienced it that way, and they might not want to see that on their dash, and it can be genuinely triggering for people.

But while this seemed like a good idea at the time, I now realize why you probably feel the need to ask about my religious background, which is why I feel obligated to answer your question. Because… most people who reblog posts with “tw religion” have something to say against it, but people who like religion will just reblog the post. Which I now realize, upon reflection, leads to a lot of Christian creators getting notifications like “uh oh! Someone reblogged your art with the hashtag “tw religion” wonder what rant they have against you” and then they check and it’s just me going “wow nice art, Happy Easter and God Bless You, you’re incredibly talented 🥰, and also TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CONTENT!” and on the flip side it’s also probably weird for everyone who sees the hashtag “tw religion” and is like “haha…nice. A rant against faith. I gotta see this!” only to click on the post and see some really well drawn art of Jesus and the children with a ton of positivity. So um… sorry for confusion?

To make a long story short, yes, I’m Christian, but this blog is mostly fandom content, that’s why I created it and that’s what I’m here for. I do incorporate a lot of Christian themes in my fic writing just like I incorporate elements of my neurodivergence into my writing as well, but my writing is not explicitly Christian, anyone can enjoy it. You’re allowed to like things by different groups that you are not part of while still not completely agreeing with everything that particular group believes. I promise it’s okay, that’s how humans work, none of us will ever think completely alike, but we can still enjoy each other’s stuff sometimes. I promise the world won’t end because you liked a fanfic where I wrote Nicholas’ speech to Martina about forgiveness and how she’s still a good person to parallel God’s mercy and love for us, you can still like it and like the message while not agreeing with my idea of who God is or that there even is a God at all. Most if not all the characters in Wolf 359 are atheists, and I still enjoy the podcast (though I will note before people come in my comments about this, yes, there is obviously some nuance to this atheism as canonically Minkowski is culturally Christian, Doug kinda knows the our father and probably got dragged to church on Christmas/his birthday and Easter at some point, Daniel Jacobi’s name has Jewish origins so the character likely has some Jewish background, Maxwell is ex-evangelical, Hera strikes me as spiritual but not religious, Cutter and Pryce are atheists who left religion but kept all the toxic parts so they could make themselves gods, and this last one actually has no canon evidence whatsoever, but I firmly believe that Kepler is specifically agnostic not atheist, and he goes out of his way to emphasize this by saying stuff like “due to the limits of the human mind, we can never really know the truth about the big picture” or something like that, but I know he has a speech about it. No disrespect to my agnostic followers, but unfortunately I think Kepler would do this).

That tangent aside, I will end by saying this. I have all sorts of people following this blog: Christians, atheists, people of other faiths, members of the LGBTQ+ community, neurodivergent folks, BIPOC, and more, and they followed me for my unhinged rants and fandom content. They didn’t come here to have their identities and beliefs bashed, and due to the fandoms I am in, many of them are also minors. And I am so, so, scared about what my reply to this anon might bring to this blog, no matter the answer, so let me be very clear: if you use this post, or any of my posts, to spread hate and negatively towards anybody, you’re blocked. I have already done this a few times when I’ve seen it around tumblr. If you think it was a mistake, let me know, but I’m not exposing my young followers to that. That’s not gonna help anybody, and there are so many better things you could be doing with your time.

With that said, if the tagging system is not working out, and you’d prefer I put the religious stuff on a side blog my non-Christian followers can block while still enjoying my usual content on the main, I can do that too. Whatever makes it easier for y’all.

*this would be a bummer, because I just hit an even 200, which is tricky to do when all you got is two of the tiniest fandoms alive and not much else. But look after yourself, I wish you well, and I’ll get over it.

[mountsmason]

Platonic Lies

summary: rúben wants to know if he and Y/N will ever be more then friends.

pairing: rúben dias x reader

genre: angst, fluff

a/n: idk why I'm posting this bc it isn't that good but oh well. any feedback is appreciated <33

➪ can be read as a prequel to monaco memories

Every one of the city players were well aware of how you and Rúben were most definitely more than friends. Your actions spoke for themselves; he would bring you coffee every morning, offer to drive you home after work, those glances that lingered slightly longer than they should and not to mention the endless flirting. Despite all that, you were in constant denial, simply dismissing anyone who would say you're not just friends as the tension in the room grew.

"Is Rúben okay?" you asked John, as you fidgeted with the camera in your hand, pretending to look busy.

"Yeah, why?" He took a sip of water from the bottle as you walked beside him towards the pitch for the afternoon training session with the rest of the team.

"I just haven't seen him in a while," you lied. In fact you had seen Rúben but whenever you tried to talk to him, he would make excuses and walk away. Normally, you two would be inseparable but something's changed. Instead of handing you coffee every morning with his bright smile, he would leave it on your desk. You started to wonder if you did something wrong. He was avoiding you and you needed to find out why.

"I can send him to your office if you want," John winked suggestively, a chuckle escaping his lips.

"Shut up," you laughed, pushing him out onto the pitch as you saw everyone return from their lunch break.

The rest of the afternoon dragged on as you wanted training to end quickly so you were able to clear the air with Rúben. The perfect time to do this was after training, in the changing room, as he was always the last one out. Once everyone else left, you anxiously walked in, wanting answers from him.

"Y/N, what are you doing here?" you took Rúben by surprise, as he was ready to leave with his bag all packed.

"Listen Rúben, I really need to-" you tried to explain before he interrupted you.

"John's waiting for me, I should go," he grabbed his bag and walked straight past you towards the door, refusing to stay.

"He can wait a few more minutes, can we please talk?" You held his hands in an attempt to stop him.

"Have I done something to hurt you? Tell me so I can fix it Rúben, I miss you," your voice barely a whisper.

"You've done nothing wrong but I think it would be better if you stayed away from me.” 

"But we used to be such close friends, why can't we go back to that?" you pleaded.

That struck a nerve.

“Friends, huh?” he laughed sarcastically, letting go of your hands as he clenched his jaw and shook his head, "we're not just friends and you know it." 

“I really like you Y/N, and I know the feeling is mutual but something’s holding you back and I wanna know what,” he whispered as his face inched nearer to yours, lips almost brushing. Taken by surprise, you stumbled backwards and you were against the wall.

“All I can think about is kissing you when I know I shouldn’t,” he confessed in a lowered voice, taking a step towards you so that you were trapped between his body and the wall. 

"Rúben, we can’t, I can’t-” you hesitated as you noticed Rúben’s gaze flicker to your lips.

“Why not?” he ran his thumb lightly across your bottom lip.

“Because we’re colleagues and if we start dating-” you rambled on knowing that it was a pathetic excuse, until you were interrupted by a pair of lips crashing onto yours.

After the brief initial shock, your eyed fluttered shut as you eased into the soft and gentle kiss. You gave up pretending that the feelings you had for Rúben were platonic, because they were far from it. He was right, you did really like him, from the moment you first saw him, if you're finally being honest now. You were just overthinking and overcomplicating things—it's what you do best.

Rúben’s hands travelled down to your waist, gently pressing his body against yours. The hem of your shirt lifted slightly and he rested his hands on the bare skin of your waist. 

“Do you want me to stop?” he breathed, resting his forehead against yours.

Without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss.

“I’ll take that as a no,” he murmurs into your mouth as you both smile into the kiss before you hear a familiar voice.

"Rúben, mate, how long are you—woah, I didn't mean to inter—," he paused for a second, before shouting, "KYLE COME AND SEE THIS."

Embarrassed that you had been caught, you hid your face in the crook of Rúben's neck, a soft laugh escaping the two of you.

“Need to take a picture of this moment, I was starting to think you two would never happen,” John mumbled as he unlocked his phone and took a quick photo.

[storiesoflilies]

OKAY WHERE DO I START,

mutual pining is so hawt, please i wanna fucking scream it. It is SO HOT. The little glances in the cafe, the smallest force of attraction and interest in each other bringing them closer, thats enough of a force to fuck up Newton's laws SJDJDJSNSHSH please all the cafe scenes are so delicately crafted, just the right amount of interaction, the pesky college dude giving toji a chance to get closer to her and keep her safe from anything, the bruised and broken knuckles maybe indicates that he actually took care of that weirdo? A.MAY.ZING

Each got thier own chances to get closer to each other, her being a cashier, the little thoughtfully hot cup of green teas, and the protein balls, and tojis chances with the mugs and the creep ass bitch. And finally roped them together with the biomechanics question 😭😭😭😭, im a sucker for slow burn, renders well 🥹😍🥹

The smut hello?!? Lily, you mentioned this is your first time writing smut and this is the softest, sexiest, most passionate smut of tojis, so preciously balanced on respect and pleasure, the flirty teases, the urge to be closer, UGH NEED

Also was the angst foreshadowed with the supernova?

Cause you mentioned her as a nebula before, then a star when she got drunk and finally a supernova when they slept together. And if im not wrong thats on the path to becoming a black hole..? And maybe, hear me out, whatever they had together, toji and her, it didnt matter after that seemingly common razor cut and it got sucked into the abyss of hers, while she was stuck in a abyss on her own worries..? That signalling that she had finally reached the end stage and not even fate would escape from that. When toji gave her no chance to explain herself too, just that.

Also the little physics comparison in addition to the supernatural being of angels controlling your everymove with equations despite physics disproving the existence of angels otherwise, iS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL I ADORE THAT JEUDJDDHDJDBDHJDJRHEJE

Gosh, the amount of hurt i went through went toji blocked/deleted his number, ugh, the way he wanted nothing to do with her, even if she hadnt meant to hurt him, just as blackholes are so unique in nature and and so attractive and destructive, she pulled toji towards her slowly but surely, but at last she was the reason why thier relationship was destroyed too

I am in tears and awe at the same time

Thank you for this art, i love you

Oh my GOSH MY DARLING!!!

I cannot tell you how much I fucking loooooove to read lengthy, in depth comments about something I’ve written. Like oh my god, I made something that made you write all THIS?!? For meeee?!? Like damn, my heart is swooning <3

First off, I’m so happy you loved the smut! It was something I was quite nervous about, so much so that I sent it to my two best friends to see if it was good enough before posting!! And all the things you’ve said about it is exactly what I was aiming for!! I didn’t want to write what I call “mindless smut”, which is just filthy, hot smut. And don’t get me wrong, I do love those too, but I just feel a lot of fanfics these days are just ALL about that with not much story (this is an obvious sore spot for me that I don’t want to delve too much into). I wanted my smut to be something nice, between two people who love each other and want to express it. So thank you for appreciating what I was trying to do :)

Now, I don’t want to get too much into saying what was right and wrong about how and why everything happened the way it did in their relationship. It’s completely up to every reader to decide why they think it ended the way it did, as well as interpreting anything they thought was foreshadowing, but I am so interested and up for discussing all the theories!! The way you’re looking at comparing the MC to a black hole and ultimately destined to destroy everything is certainly an interesting perspective on the story, and I actually didn’t consider it before!!

With so much love for you darling,

Lily xo

[dnangelic]

TSUN! I HAVE SOME CHOICE WORDS TO SAY TO YOU!!!!

you are such an absolute delight to see on the dash and interact with, and that is no exaggeration! I adore all of your muses and even if i don’t know any of their respective medias, i learn about them through your writing and your metas and you talking about them and thats so fun to do!!! ITS ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE THING EVER! I appreciate you giving my dazai a chance despite not knowing bsd aswell as p much any of my other muses sknsksns you’ve been so sweet to me since we first became mutuals and i genuinely love seeing you around so much 😭 i see you on the dash and my day gets atleast 10% better without fail every single time. i hope u talk about your boys forever and ever . ITS SO FUN TO BUILD DYNAMICS WITH YOU!!! anyone is lucky to write with / plot with / interact with you i wont even lie and i genuinely believe that nsjsksnsjssn i appreciate that you show interest in so many of my muses it makes my heart so so so warm . I HOPE WE CAN CONTINUE WRITING NOVELS TOGETHER FOREVERRRRR even though i know im the one who owes you like 2829922 things ksnsksns DW AB THAT . I ALSO WANNA SAY about you writing dark and daisuke specifically i think its so good how much care you put into a series thats really old and like Ive genuinely put the manga on my reading list BECAUSE of the interest garnered from your writing !! SOLELY BECAUSE OF YOU ! u are an absolute angel ( … hehehehensnensn … bejbwnw … get it bc … bc …!2&2!/@/!/82 s hehehehe ) AND YOU ARE ALWAYS SO KIND TO ME and always so interactive and i can’t even beginnnnnnnnnnnnnn to properly articulate how much of a joy you are 2 interact with !!! wishing you and daisuke and dark and yan qing and all ur muses the best day ever . 🙌

OH MY GOOOOOOSH and to think i was sitting here at ur post like 'should i ask permission for nine asking for permission. what if nine doesn't wanna say anything. i hate feeling like im ever panhandling for a compliment. nine should be pouring soup into my lap and slapping dark + calling him a bitch so i can finally apologize but youuuuUUU YOUUUUU ALL THESE FEELINGS R SO MUTUAL!!! I LOVE SEEING U TALK!!! IT BRINGS ME SM JOY TO SEE U POST!!! even the most random stuff. doesn't matter if its long or short. literally dont even worry abt owing me stuff ur presence alone is also a DELIGHT ur fr like such a funny mut and person BUT UR ALSO SO GOOD AT UR MUSES TOO??? LIKE i could go on forever abt how much i respect ur dazai alone and how even if i don't know bsd canon that's probably for the best, bc ur now ur dazai is The canon dazai to me, but u also have like nine... billion... (hehehesbhgbssnsjkdj x2) MUSES ON UR MULTI THAT U ALSO FLAWLESSLY INVEST URSELF IN AND!! WOWWWW WHAT A MUN!!! genuinely im so glad i found u even in this hellsite and that i can just toddle around following u like this everywhere 🐥 every like i leave on ur post is me picking at it for crumbs like a pigeon in a city being tossed bread. keep tossing that bread for me please please. IM CRYING. IM WAILING!!!! BUT SINCE U BROUGHT UP READING DNANGEL LET ME ACTUALLY HELP U OUT TOO??

scans are like absolutely everywhere and most places have the godawful quality fan translations. u can and frankly probably should read the official eng which is available here. dnangel had a weird run where the eng was only licensed and translated up to book 13. 14 and 15 (and beyond) are fan translations, but there's exactly one chapter that's ALWAYS broken on any website you go to except this one. this site doesn't complete the series though so the last link you'd have to hop to is this one. but the entire series is only 20 volumes in total. you could speedread through it in like a day. it's short and sweet and i love it even with its flaws. why else would i b here writing dark n dai. anyways. point is. tysm. im holding u and all ur muses tight. i wont leave u!!!! im so glad i met u!!! uve done sm for me already and i wont forget it!!! MY SO TALENTED FRIEND!!!

[judasisgayriot]

howdy! the way you talk about heroes is just… so real. if i may ask, do i have a specific reason for why you didn’t like heroes reborn? (i’m honestly the same, got bored after the first ep and didn’t bother with the rest) i love reading your longer analysis post, and i’m a sucker for for a good rant!

but if you don’t wanna be a negative nelly, i’ll settle for your smuttiest petrelli headcannons jk, jk

Hi!! Thanks haha I always gotta be Real, like I’m in a 17-year toxic relationship with this show where I do love it but also I’m a hater about a lot of it and it does inspire some real rants lmao, like do not get me started. Me and my gf will literally say 1 thing about scourge of my life heroes nbc and it WILL turn into a 4 hour analysis/yelling session. Or that one time I wrote 1700 words about Nathan Petrelli in response to an ask about him (you just had me reading through my own “heroes ramblings” tag and lmao, why am I actually so hilarious but also unhinged about this stupid 2000s nonsense. Get a grip anni.

ANYWAY that said, I was like really excited and enthused for heroes reborn at the time but it’s been long enough since I watched it (not since it aired, in comparison to ‘heroes classic’ which I’ve rewatched about 5 times since lol) that I honestly have forgotten pretty big chunks of it at this point. I think it being aired only 5 years after heroes ended meant there wasn’t enough nostalgic clamour for its return yet but it was also long enough that people probably kinda moved on already, it’s a really weird one. I appreciated seeing the returning characters but they fucked up or killed most of them anyway and they couldn’t get back some of the major players (including my personal blorbos lol, like cmon you couldn’t have pretended Nathan wasn’t dead just for me???). I also remember just not really caring about most of the new characters, the plot being kind of a stupid mess (I mean what’s new there, looking at you clusterfuck heroes s3, but at least I had my boys the petrellis despite everything lmao) and it just kind of being a giant letdown. Been a while though like I said. Gotta keep it real tho 😂

Anyway re your last point the petrellis are the most compelling thing about the show, the layers of Machiavellian Catholic incestuous unhingedness in that family are everything to me and what keeps me around. Most of the time Peter and Nathan are too ‘on the edge’ and Nathan is too goddam repressed for me to confidently headcanon anything beyond unholy levels of mutual obsession happened between them in canon, EXCEPT the villain!nathan scene where he’s like ‘there’s some things I needed to talk to you about that just couldn’t wait’ and pointedly bites his lip (oh they were about to fuck nasty there, mark my words) AND the entire s2 deleted scene where Nathan despairingly talks about getting young Peter drunk in their treehouse like he desperately wants to forget it but can’t. Man what was that all about. Can someone fucking explain that one to me please. Have that on my desk by MONDAY, Tim Kring-

[taegularities]

heey! please dont take this the wrong way but im genuinely curious why do you feel so empty on tumblr🥺 i mean your stories have more than a thousand likes and theres so many people who are clearly huge fans of your work… whatever the reason is, i really hope you stay on tumblr for a long time because you are really the sweetest:) (not pressuring you though, you do whats best for you!) 🥰

hi, my love!! i didn't take it the wrong way <3 i can explain what i mean.. so, this time it's not as much about interaction bc everyone's been very sweet and talks to me despite holiday season! i still have more msgs than i can answer (keep it all coming tho pls hehe :P), so the issue this time is more just.. how empty tumblr is. i scroll through my dash once and am already at a post that was posted/rbd an hour ago bc nobody's around (ccs and readers alike!!).

so many of my mutuals have left tumblr and so many readers have, too (i miss you all sm btw sigh) and watching tumblr die has been so disheartening. it's gotten very dry? and then, and that's a me problem, i also get so damn insecure all the time. i keep feeling like im unwanted here and get vv scared talking to people, bc there was so much negativity and hate on here for the past year that i constantly think twice before approaching someone. i just hate overthinking like, "does xy hate me? should i rather not interact" lol which sucks bc i like talking to people so much and used to be the most social butterfly.

so the loneliness just comes from the overall desert-like feeling on here combined with my own fears that tumblr's better off without me. it's stupid 😞

also! idc about notes tbh! e.g. i enjoyed dropping cmi11 more bc it got more love than idk cmi9.5 despite getting less likes. sometimes the 'getting thousands of likes' is super cool but also the problem bc of the lack of reblogs etc. (like there's a big difference between e.g. cmi9 and cmi11, even in the comment section). the only thing i wanna say about interaction, though, is: whenever i do attendance checks before posting a chapter, a lot of ppl (and new names) comment that they're excited — id absolutely love it if you reacted to the actual drop, too bc that's often met by silence by those who are super thrilled at first 🥺 and taglist readers!! where are you guysss lol lmk if you read, too!! writing is such a difficult hobby to indulge in, so writers just want to feel like people see it and that their effort is appreciated, even if thousands of words meet just a paragraph of feedback — we still love it 🥺 that's all. atm i don't have more to say about interaction bc everyone's been the sweetest.

hope that clears things up... thank you for reaching out and telling me you want me around 🥺 you're so sweet, as well 🤍

[jjunhui]

hi guys, i’m kind of embarrassed to even post this tbh but 🫠 there’s someone going around saying some really inflammatory things about me to my mutuals, i imagine the goal is to get people to unfollow me as ‘punishment’ honestly. i just wanna break it down bc it’s jarring to see all those claims if you haven’t been following me closely, so i want to make it clear that none of them are true

they’re angry about this post i created yesterday, my intention here was to remember the stories of the palestinians who have been forgotten, or who some people never even heard about, and to spread awareness that this isn’t some new, ‘since october 7th’ issue.

in their asks they accuse me of spreading propaganda, but i want to make it clear that everything i said & everything i will say is true and substantiated. i do not post any unsubstantiated or poorly documented information.

they’ve implied that i ‘accuse jewish people of lying about casualties’ and firstly, israelis ≠ jewish people, i believe their intent when using this specific wording was to make me seem like i just hate jewish people when in fact i was speaking specifically on israelis.

it was confirmed that select israelis lied about babies dying, specifically being beheaded, and this was particularly harmful because people are still using this claim to justify what happens to palestinians. even the us president spoke on the ‘beheaded babies’ before his subordinates clarified they have no confirmation, and the israeli government admitted that fact themselves. thus my anger is at the fact that people are still spreading this story while children are actually being brutally killed in palestine. this post details it better :)

they accused me of using derogatory language towards jews, and they were speaking about the phrase ‘from the river to the sea (palestine will be free)’. this phrase is not hateful unless you believe that wanting a free palestine is anti semitic, which they seemingly do. they sent me an anonymous ask with a link from adl ‘educating’ me on the ‘hateful nature’ of the phrase and i did, in fact, call it dumb lol

basically they’re asking people to ‘hold me accountable’ because i disagree with their zionist agenda. this does not mean i hate jewish people. i hate and i condemn zionism. jewish people are not inherently zionists, and i will never sit here and use this as an excuse to be antisemitic. i am anti israel, i am anti zionist. i am not anti religion, i am not antisemitic, i am not anti anyone’s right to practice their religion peacefully because that would make me a hypocrite.

i hope that this concisely gets my point across. i will never stop talking about my brothers and sisters in palestine — but i hope you all know that i do so with no hate in my heart towards jewish people. they are not to blame for this, and they have been some of the biggest supporters of palestine which i so sincerely appreciate

if you see these asks going around and despite this clarification, you are still uncomfortable following me, i understand. but i hope it’s known that i am not that type of person, and nothing you find on my blog will reflect such horrible and harmful views.

[knaivcs]

BASICS ! Name / Alias: Soda, SodaCat, also some variety or deungnamu or deungnamuart Pronouns: he/him, becoming more comfortable with they/them Blog type: single muse | Multi-muse | non selective | semi selective | selective | mutuals only | private | other Type of muses: canon | OCs | both (i have single muse blogs of canon muses and OCs) | other (specify)

GENERALITIES ! Triggers people MUST tag: non-con/rape, the c-slur (please) Interest tracker / checker: I have it and it’s mandatory | I have it, it’s not mandatory but I’m more likely to follow back / interact with the people who fill it | I have one and I prefer it if people fill it in | I have it but it’s up to people whether to fill it or not | I don’t have one | other (specify) Reblog karma: I practice it | I practice it sometimes | I don’t practice it | I always reblog memes from the source | indifferent | other (if i cannot find the source/the source is deleted, I will TRY to reblog from a diff blog but you know what- sometimes I don't wanna have through dig pages of a stranger's blog JUST for a meme, then I'll reblog it from mutuals.) Rule passwords: I have one and it’s mandatory | I have one and it’s optional | I don’t have one | I send passwords | I don’t send passwords

3-5 ESSENTIAL RULES PEOPLE HAVE TO RESPECT Don't rush me.

Do not try to manipulate me emotionally or monopolize my time/energy.

Sometimes I am very slow and distracted, I appreciate patience.

3-5 IMPORTANT PET PEEVES TO KEEP IN MIND Respect my interpretation. If my mutual is just collecting my muse to shove into a mold, I get very annoyed.

Love-Bombing when the muns have never spoken. It makes me uncomfortable because some really fucked up people have tried to become my 'friend' this way and were usually hiding something.

Communicate. If a mutual bugs me to plot and then doesn't respond at all (like PERIOD/NEVER after approaching me first, I have had that happen before), I will consider that a waste of my time and energy. 2-5 THINGS THAT WILL LEAD TO INSTANT (SOFT)BLOCKING Vaguing. Venting is fine! But if the mun is like 'oooh ppl be smutting calm ur asses down horny ppl smh', maybe grow up? This is something I personally see as 'acceptable' in a lot of RPCs and it's just obnoxious. Constant negativity and self-depreciation.

Rapid-fire posting, sometimes I get REALLY overwhelmed. 2-5 THINGS THAT LEAD ME TO UNFOLLOW / SOFTBLOCK A MUTUAL / SOMEONE I INTERACT WITH Not being up front. If I directly ask if there's a problem and my mutual lies and says "nothing", then I find out about it later- Boom. I cannot STAND this kind of behavior. My ex gaslit me all the time by acting like I was being "crazy and paranoid" when I knew there was something wrong and it really fucks with me. I have a very good intuition, so lying and making me question my own judgment because my mutual can't be an adult and talk is a no go.

The mun turns out to be possessive/territorial about their rp partners. We're not married, we are collaborating on fiction together.

The mun doesn't roleplay ever despite being an RP blog.

The mun turns out to be extremely insecure or needs constant validation.

I suspect the mun is sending themselves anonymous hate messages for attention.

2-5 REASON YOU DON’T FOLLOW (BACK) SOMEONE The mun is a jerk from a different rpc.

The blog is a personal and has no rp information or side blog.

The muse has no information/anything I can work with.

The mun's rules are worded kind of asshole-y/like 'tagging is so hard and I NEVER do it why r u trying to censor meee i WrIte maTuRe tHEmES'

The mun seems bigoted in some fashion.

tagged by: @duunswitch! tagging: STEAL MY HEART, PHANTOM THIEF STYLE

[pixiecaps]

I remember like, the first time I saw you. I hadn’t recognized your pfp, and after seeing it a few times on my dash I decided to click. After scrolling a bit, I came to the realization I had followed you on accident (something that happens plenty to me). I usually would’ve unfollowed, but you seemed just interesting enough for me not too. A few months later, I’m surprised when you follow me back, especially since I don’t make original posts, and am not ranboo-centric.

Nowadays, you’ve managed to become one of my favorite mutuals. I always get giddy when I see you in my notifications, and 90% of the time I make note to see what post you liked and/or reblogged. It’s the “I’m getting a good grade in reblogging, something that is both possible to achieve and normal to want.”

We aren’t close mutuals, though I definitely wouldn’t mind it. I’d love to send more asks, however I’m horrific at carrying conversations and also have some social anxiety that makes me nervous. I also don’t want to intrude, as previously mentioned we aren’t close mutuals, and I don’t want to be pushy or annoying, haha. And I would start by responding to some of the posts you make that expect responses, but I don’t refresh my dashboard enough to see them in time. And I don’t know if it’d be appropriate to ask for a discord, which I’m better at checking, because I know it’s usually used for friends.

All in all though, you are funny and witty, and I often to stop and read your posts when otherwise I’d scroll. I like your opinions when you do decide to get serious, and despite some non-common interests, you present them in such a way I can easily engage in anyways. I wish you lots of love and luck, take care of yourself, and keep your chin up, king!

(P.S. sorry for the rlly long message whoops, I hope I’m not too late to send this.)

helllooo anon i think this was for the ask game:0 im sorry i didnt see this hours ago im pretty sure you sent this around the time i went to sleep but yes hii hello!!

“interesting enough” LETS FUCKING GOOO. okay! i usually follow back people i’ve seen around a lot on dash or urls i recognize in my notifs!! i must have recognized you:)

thats so sweet thank you i appreciate it😭 also wanna thank you for sticking around the idea that you’ve grown to rlly be fond of me after accidentally following me is heartwarming

ah dude don’t worry about. look i started this blog because i had horrific social anxiety and my irls were encouraging me to make new friends!! so even though i was shaking and wanted to throw up (that bad ik) i started posting and slowly but surely it wasn’t as scary anymore. it takes time so you can take your time dont feel pressured to interact if you dont want to. that being said i don’t mind if people who arent “close mutuals” send an ask or dms me. you become a close mutual by doing these things ya know😭 oh!!!! you can ask for discord too!! all mutuals are allowed to :) i however suck at holding conversations too so be aware of that lmao

AW TY!! ehehe you like my takes🤭 genuinely though i try to stay away from discourse or serious topics cus it may come off intimidating and thats the last thing i want to come off as but im glad whenever i do make a few posts like that you found it easy to engage:) i will! i am trying my best to take care of myself and for u i shall hmmm i was gonna say go outside but i already have plans to do that so it’d be disingenuous. i’ll just drink a lot of water today 👍 omg have u ever noticed theres no water bottle emoji on ios. i wait every update to see if they added one but nope. i would use that emoji so much…

anon congrats on getting the award of longest ask ever sent BAHSJD i woke up and saw this and my eyes popped in a good way

( also adding this after i posted this. i know anons dont usually like their own asks to stay hidden so i need you to know you seem lovely:D )

[kisssatoru]

PLEASE READ BEFORE

FOLLOWING/READING MY WORKS…

˗ˏˋ welcome! i won’t make this long, so dw. there are just some basic things that i need to make known, mostly as a disclaimer. this blog will contain mature themes, often explicit.

i do not, in any shape way or form, appreciate minors reading any nsfw pieces i may release. despite this, if you ARE a minor reading my nsfw works, don’t make it obvious or i will block you. as someone in her mid 20s, you can understand the discomfort. blank blogs are not welcomed here, either. pls follow my rules, that’s all i ask. ღ

BYF / RULES :

✎… i am most comfortable with she/her pronouns. syia is my pen name and no i will not give out my real name or much of my real info unless i decide to or if we are very close.

✎… i am in my mid 20s, and only write for adult characters. if you are a writer and you age up characters, that’s your prerogative. personally, i don’t feel comfortable doing that but won’t block or shame. being mutuals is fine with me.

✎… i don’t mind a little friendly banter/harmless flirting (such as: using pet names or cute jokes), but keep it friendly. i do have a girlfriend, and don’t feel comfortable going outside of that boundary, sryy.

✎… i am a black writer, and will not tolerate any kind of poc hate here. i will rip you to shreds, i can promise you that. be supportive of ALL writers on this platform, and keep it a safe place for everyone to read/write.

✎… this section of my blog will come off a bit intimidating, but i promise i am nice and super friendly to talk to! in saying this, my dms are always open for off-to-the-side chats, and/or talking about non-anime/writing topics. i am the mother in all of my friend groups, and have no problem with ppl reaching out to me to lend an ear. safe space, rmr? i’m always here if you need me!

✎… pls try not to spam like. it helps me as well as it will help you bc getting shadowbanned is not fun. for either of us lol.

✎… i will only mutual back active writers or active rebloggers. this isn’t high school. i pick and choose my friends here.

✎… if you follow me only to unfollow, i will know and i will block you.

✎… i reblog a LOT of nsfw content, so if that isn’t something you’re comfy with, then don’t follow me lolol

✎… i want to reiterate that i am a black writer. therefore, most of my work will be black reader coded. my works usually consist of a non-specified reader, but there will be times i will write a black reader. do not come and disturb my peace with “be inclusive” because i will eat you alive. don’t test me. i write what i wanna write. cry about it.

✎… i am not for the drama. do not bring any kind of discourse onto this blog, for ANY reason. i do not care what’s going with other ppl. my only concern is this blog, and my bbs over here. if you do, i will ignore you.

✎… i write at my own pace. i work, and have a whole life outside of this platform. do not rush me, or ask for a part two. i will ignore you and if you spam me with that bs, i will not hesitate to block you (the way i be utilizing that block button chileee). just use your common sense, idk. i got stuff going on, and writing is a current hobby. i can’t make it my main focus right now, so just be patient. all i ask.

✎… i accept constructive criticism. however, if you are going to be mean about it, you can take that shi elsewhere because i will block you, on sight. i like to keep the peace here, and will not accept disrespect. period.

✎… as of right now, i do not take requests for fics. i DO take requests for headcannons, so send those in if you have any!

✎… when it comes to a posting schedule, i don’t have one. not currently… but i would like to have one! i just have things going on, around the clock, it’s hard to pin down a schedule that works so for now, i apologize but i will be posting randomly (meaning, whenever i finish). a schedule is in the works, tho, promise!

✎… last, but not least. i don’t write incest, stepcest, a/b/o, pedophilia, rape, race-play, water sports, furries or aged up characters that are minors in their respective series. (will probably add to this later…)

side note: i’ll be writing for a dom/mommy reader so if you don’t care for that, you are not obligated to read it. ღ (not often, but here and there!)

KISSSATORU © 2023. do not copy, modify, or translate my work, and do not post ANY works of mine outside of tumblr.

[author-a-holmes]

Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals. 🎶🎧💜💙🤗

Is it sad that, despite being best friends, I read "send this to your favourite mutuals" and my instant reaction was:

*Pleading Face Emoji* I'm a favourite?!

Rofl!

ANYWAYS My defunct brain patterns aside, I fucking love sharing my playlists. I know you know this, so thank you for the ask <3

I've not gone with a Work In Progress Specific playlist, mainly because Changeling doesn't have one, and Darkling doesn't have enough songs on it yet, so instead I've chosen my general playlist for 2023. It includes all my current favourite songs, and any new music I find this year that I want to add to my playlist soup.

If I'm looking for a new song for the next chapter, this is the playlist I shove on shuffle.

So without futher ado, 5 songs beneath the cut...

Taylor Swift - Style

I don't know why, but ther way this one is sung just sounds super flirty, and gives old school, silver screen, holywood love story vibes.

You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye And I got that red lip classic thing that you like And when we go crashing down, we come back every time 'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style You got that long hair, slicked back, white t-shirt And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt And when we go crashing down, we come back every time 'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style

2. Nickelback - Someday

One of my favourites of theirs. Which is saying a lot because there's not many Nickelback songs I DIS-like. But I love how the song lyrics make you think one thing, and then you watch the video and it's even more heartbreaking and tragic than it sounds. It really made my appreciate Chad Kroeger as a lyracist.

Well, I'd hope that since we're here anyway We could end up saying Things we've always needed to say So we could end up staying Now the story's played out like this Just like a paperback novel Let's rewrite an ending that fits Instead of a Hollywood horror

3. Demi Lovato - Heart Attack

I cannot believe this one shuffled onto the list of over 350 songs I'm using. It's my THEME song for Reilly Mosswolf from my book, Stolen. When I need to get back into Reilly or Stella's headspace I'll listen to this song or Stella's Theme "Fight Song" by Rachel Platten.

You make me glow But I cover up, won't let it show So I'm putting my defenses up 'Cause I don't wanna fall in love If I ever did that, I think I'd have a heart attack

4. Blake Shelton - Honey Bee

Bloody Hell. My love of cheesy country music is showing here. I'm a closet romantic and Country Music really touches on that romantic streak in my, particularly Blake Shelton's songs. Plus the music video is cute as fuck.

You'll be my sunny day I'll be your shady tree You'll be my honeysuckle I'll be your honey bee. Yeah, that came out a little country But every word was right on the money And I got you smilin' honey right back at me

5. Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)

You can't do much better for a power balland than Clarkson, and her lyrics are usually on the empowering side. This isn't one of my favourites from her, but it always manages to put me in a kickass kinda mood.

Thanks to you I got a new thing started Thanks to you I'm not the broken hearted Thanks to you I'm finally thinkin' 'bout me You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning

I've got over 350 songs on this list, so for anyone additionally curious about my music tastes, I'll link the full playlist HERE.

[dokyungsu]

Who are some of ur favorite people here and why?

💘💘💘 HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO ALL MY MUTUALS 💘💘💘 WROW REN LOVES YOU???? 💘💘💘 HELL YEA SHE DOES !!!!!💘💘💘

i had this in drafts for so long bc i wanted to post it on valentines like di cheesy person that i am so this is kind of like my version of sending u guys a love letter of some sort,,, flowers n chocolates all that… bc i obviously can’t send u guys flowers n chocolates irl 😣😣😣 anyways aasdjhakdkjh this is gonna be long so ima put a read more right here ♥

@zyxgf​ aka jackieMISS JACKIE!?!?!? uhm i say this all di time but she’s my baby girl 🤢🤢 she’s given me nothing but love n affection and laffs for di whole time we’ve been mutuals,,, 💗💓💕💖💞💗💓💕💖💞 she’s so funni n a relateable kween. giffing kween. kween of being cute… superior xingmi n exo m stan wrow… i’m always excited to see if she’s tagged me in stuff (laysoo) or if she’s messaged me or has made posts abt me or has sent me asks…. like she’s rly one of di reasons i love being here :((((( she’s so cute ohhhh my god..  also she sends me death threats abt yixing pls dw jackie i won’t steal ur man… i’ll steal U from ur man.. 😣😣😣 i’ll make him lose his balance n sweep u away 👀👀👀 i also lowkey wished we talked but ajsdbkjashdkj 

@exoistheuniverse aka ali (formerly sooweetlies a god-tier url wow)ALI IS THE SOFTEST MUTUAL EVER !!!!!!!! AND ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE KSOO-LS :(((( everytime i think of her i think about cotton candy and clouds and penguins and ksoo :((( … she’s so talented have y’ALL SEEN HER EDITS??? AND GIFS?? AND HER CUTE KSOO ICONS !!!! when will i ever… her voice is also di cutest… she always sends me love asks and asdhkas honestly how can i ask for more when she gives me di Most… pls i have a lot of love in my hort for her i always wish her the best n hope that she’s always happy 😣😣😣

@pcys-l aka rimi (formerly loeysoul i mean its true loey is in her soul)RIMI di LOve of my LIFE!!!!!! the first ever mutual i talked to because we both cried abt bruise 🤕🤕 meme queen, is Nasty in her tags abt pcy 🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️ THINKS I’M UNLOYAL WHEN I’M NOT but she makes me happy n holds a special place in my hort.. I LOVE RIMI SO MUCH SHE DESORVS DI WHOLE WORLD SHE’S SO FUNNI AND HAVE MADE ME LAFF COUNTLESS OF TIMES AND I’m happy i got to be mutuals w u :(((

@yiffxing aka gabbyPREDDIEST FURRY QUEEN !! YIXING’S SEKSI SHEEP BACK-UP DANCERS R SHAKING !!! even tho we’ve only started talking uhhhh she’s rly di sweetest person ik 🤕🤕🤕 is trash for ksoo but i’ll let her off bc i luv her :\ the person who’ll date will b di luckiest bc uhhh she’s a whole package… fun fact: i was intimidated by gabby at first bc she was too beautiful n i thought i couldn’t b friends w her but 😣😣 I SEND HER LOVE MSGS EVERY CHANCE I GET💗💗💗💗💗💗

@kiungsoo aka livLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i haven’t seen her on my dash in a while bc she’s on q but i miss her :((( she a fellow twenty-four enthusiast so if u wanna slander miss twenty four u gotta go thru US !! 😤😤😤 she’s also another talented mutual :(( y’all seen her countdown bday posts for ksoo?? go check it out binch!!! go d i love liv 😩😩😩 i hope school and studying is going well for u i wish u all di best i love u 💗

@suhopps aka sunnie my SUNNIEshine (i’ve appointed u that nickname there’s lideralee no escape from it) we talked heaps before but everyone who’s… mutuals w me.. like basically everyone in this list knows i am The Worst at keeping convos 😰😰 but sunnie is so so so so sweet and soft and i love when i talk with you :((( we have so many things in common lmfao and she’s such a dramatic gay but i love it !! i always wish for your happiness and i believe that u can overcome any hardships you’re facing right now,,, i love u sunnie!!!! take care always 😙💘

@sophrosynes​ aka robertaI LOVE ROBERTA SO MUCH !!!!!!! I KNOW WE DON’T TALK BUT I HOPE U KNOW THAT I THINK ABT U AND HOPE THAT UR ALWAYS WELL :((( miss sophrosynes was my very first anon and honestly… she’s so thoughtful and considerate and nothing full of love and g od d dd she has a face to match her beautiful hort :(( thank u for sending me love always 💗💓💕💖💞 id die for u.. 

@kokobaekhyun aka jasmineY’ALL JASMINE’S A WILDT ONE Y’ALL SEEN HER TAGs??? when i thought no one can match rimi in being the Nastiest but.. ANYWAYS i love her either way 🤕🤕🤕 when she’s in soft mode it’s wholesome rly…. WE BONDED OVER MULLET!BBH BC IT’S GOD TIER AND WILL NEVER BE TOPPED anyways yea… love jas… she’s so funny n fun to talk to 😩💘 also if ur in a mood to talk about hard bbh she’S THE GIRL UR LOOKING FOR she’s always in the mood u won’t be disappointed KAJSHDjkas 

@my1ady aka arelyUHMMM NOT TO START BUT SHE’S MY BIGGEST FAN :(((((( WHEN SHE TAGS ME IN STUFF??? AND HER TAGS?? heart n*t :\ I LOVE HER SO MUCH THE LOVE SHE GIVES ME???? i don’t deserve… 😞😞😞 my anons asked abt her a lot lmfao idk why adkjahskj ONE OF MY FAVORITE XINGMIS HONESTLY!! HAS A GOD TIER URL WROW… my_lady_by_exo-m.mp3 amazing.. and uh loves my man so that’s a bonus… we share mans 🤕🤕🤕 love u arely.. 💗💗💗

@byunchen aka melqueen of making me want to d*e bc of soft n sweet bbh/exo imagines :(( also queen of making me want to KERMIT SUE OF SIDE BC OF THE NSFW BBH POSTS SHE MAKES I H*TE akjdhaskdjh SHE RLY BRINGS OUT THE BBH-L IN ME :\  ALSO MY FELLOW TRIPLE STAN??? VALID ! she’s full of nothing but love and AHHHHHHH I LOVE U MEL !!!!!!!! 💗💓💕💖💞

@exosvisual aka cindySHE ONE OF DI LOVELIEST XINGMIS IVE EVER MET PLEASE !!!! we cry about idol producer trainees together but mainly how hot and yixing distracting looks in all of di goddamn idol p episodes :\ I LOVE HER so much she’s rly so sweet and i’m rly glad i got to meet her :(( and also may i add that she’s… rly beautiful  😭😭😭 💗💓💕💖💞

@byunparks aka maddyMADDY WHO I BONDED WITH DURING THE 3 NIGHTS OF ELYXION !?!?!!?!!!! NEVER FUCKING FORGET !!!!! SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE I WAS TALKING AND UH we were both crying and truly losing our minds pls… i haven’t interacted with her much nowadays but she’s one of di best bbh-Ls i know n i love her… thank u for making me happy so i also wish for you happiness ily 🤧💖💖💖

@byunbread aka veraQUEEN VEWWA WHOMST I WUV SO MUCH :((((( not to b dramatic but she’s lideralee one of di best bbh blogs out there… (also random fact; she’s 179cm like… i’m so sorry baekhyun sweetie akshdakjsHDAAKJHDKJA) also uhhh queen of being di most beautiful ??? i’m not kidding :\ altho we’ve only interacted through posts and what not i rly love seeing her on my dash 🤧🤧🤧 i wish you di best for ur studies i wuv u vewwa 💕💕💕

@stanbaek aka ashleyASHLEY !!!!! A-SHE!!!-LY!!! uhm she’s is sososo sweet and her love for bbh is so so wholesome and beautiful and there’s A LOT of it :((( HER BBH BLOG CONTENT IS AMAZING AHH!!! we’ve talked a few times and she’s rly so sweet please.. 😞😞😞 honey i hope you know that you deserve to be happy 🤧🤧 i wish that you’ll always have strength when you experience days that are difficult to go through, i told u that i believe in u okay!!! i love you and i mean it 💞💞💞

@littlechefsoo aka courtneyONE OF MY FAVORTIE KSOO-LS AHH!!!!! i think courtney has been one of my oldest mutuals since i came on tumblr and she’s always been such a lovely person :(( her love for ksoo??? WHOLESOME…. i love it whenever she tags me in di tag games and even tho we’ve only interacted/talked a few times i love her 😣😣💗💗 also have y’all seen her ‘do it for him’ post and the pics were filled with suho’s tiddies from gayo daejun???? YEA MOOD. i love my fellow kyungmyeon-Ls 💖💖💖

@kyungsooslatinagf aka jossyJOSSY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!??!?! i love reading her tags when she reblogs from me pls kashdkahs also another one of my all-time favorite ksoo-Ls ♥♥♥ she’s one of di few people who came to check up on me during… a hard time so thank you for that :(( a fellow shawol-L and honestly miss jossy is beautiful my gosh 😩💘 we’re both tauruses so i think we have a lot in common lmao i wanna b able to interact n talk w u more miss jossy ily 🤧🤧💖💖

[myork]

manny's one year + milestone celebration ♡

i’ve never really been big on celebrating anything, even on my prev blog (jimeanour) i never really celebrated any milestones, even the big ones. so i feel like this has been due for a while <3 and i also realised that i completed one year on here from when i started posting my poetry to writing ff and leaving that altogether and settling for creating visual content. whatever it was that made me stay, im glad, because tumblr has become such a huge part of my everyday life. and despite how constantly engaging on a platform online makes me feel drained, stressed and anxious every once in a while, i’m still glad i have this outlet. and you♡ now here’s how i’ve decided to celebrate-

Here are my rules/ categories ♡

‧₊˚ ☆ enter request here 💌 ☆‧₊˚

now for the mutual(s) appreciation ♡ if you’re tagged, there’s a message for you! happy scrolling 🤡🤡these are things ive been wanting to say for a long time okay

@jimilter miss ashible i need to tell u how grateful i am for your support because you truly make me feel so comfortable and safe and appreciated. you’re such a gem and anyone who doesn’t believe it is LYIN!!!!!! truly one of the best people here ☹️💞ily so much thank you for being so annoying ☹️💗

@gukqi nhi i love you. thats it. thats the post. jokes aside im so grateful to have u as my internet husband you’re so talented and sweet and amazing and ilysm you’re so supportive and sometimes i just wanna run over to u to germany🥺💘 you’re truly one of my lifelines here and you make me want to open tumblr even when im discouraged to ☹️💗

@jeongcake tell i love you so much, you’re one of the best things thats ever happened to me and im so grateful to have u. we really do understand each other on a deeper scale and for that im grateful because i never have to hide from you ☹️💞from our jokes to our rare serious talks, im so happy to have u ily 🥺💞

@seokljin emma angel agenda. thats it. you’re literally like the most supportive person ive ever known how do u do it? how can all of that pixie fairy dust fit inside one angel of a human being? i feel like every time i post something esp jin related im like has emma seen this? and then i turn into a shy blushy school girl uwu. anyways if u haven’t translated it all yet- ily ☹️💗 and im so grateful for you.

@jeonqquk ivy my bby™️ you’re seriously such a whore gem ☹️💗ilysm and im so happy i have you. you’re part of my support system here and im so happy i can count on you. you’re really such a fun person. pls believe your gifs are amazing or ill punch u🥰 (dont u dare say kinky)

@joyfulhopelox maria my fav internet mother idk when you’ll see this but know that i love you and im always here for you 💗 thank you for always being there for me, youre truly such an angel. you’re so so amazing and rmr when i used to joke about you being not real? yeah, good times. sending lots of love to you and nugget and always hoping you’re okay💗💘

@usertae the bestest stella to ever exist 💀💀im kidding, i mean the sweetest, warmest, most welcoming person ever. ily celia you’re so nice and helpful and you were one of my first ever giffing mutuals even when i used to post complete trash💀idk what you saw then but just know that im grateful to have you as my mutual for so long and that you really raised in my standards in mutuals 💀🥺💗💘

@parkdatjimin MINDY BESTEST PERSON!! there, i said it 😤 ilysm and your tags JUST *squeals* *clenches fist* make my day ☹️you’re so supportive and im truly lucky to know you 💞💘💕💗

@still-with-koo lilo you call me a sweetheart when you're the biggest one there is ily☹️💖 you're so so sweet and warm and nice and just such a comfort person, im so glad we're mutuals ☹️💖💕

@itsallaboutzayn ESME SWEETEST PERSON AGENDA 😤im not even kidding, you’re so nice and supportive and i love all your asks, you always have so much love to give to people and i can only hope it’s returned tenfold because you deserve it 💕💘💕

@pjmsdior isa wifey i love you so much, you truly are one of the purest souls here and seeing u in my notifs or in my inbox makes so happy ☹️💗 ilyilyilyily

@dokyeomblr elv best elv favourite elv agenda!!!! you’re the nicest sweetest warmest person to exist and seeing u in my inbox or on my dash makes me light up like a christmas tree ☹️💗ily elvie

@jung-koook im so happy im finally getting the chance to say this, but i admire you so much sky. your dedication is commendable and everything you make is always in top tier quality and on top of all that you are so helpful and kind and i rmr getting a heart attack when you followed me 💀im so so grateful for all your help please know that💗💗

@taeyungie i know we just started talking but em, you’ve made me feel so warm and safe and i just, i feel like i could be myself with you. you’re so understanding and you love animals ☹️ the older grandma sister i didn’t know i needed, tho bullying you about it is more fun 🤡💗

@kimtaegis why so nice!!!!!!! hm?????? WHY 👏 SO 👏NICE????? jokes aside, i lurched off my bed when i saw the notification of a certain userkimtaegis-main following me one fine afternoon, and in true disney movie fashion, my life has never been the same. im just kidding ( or am i?🤨) but anyways annie you are so sO SO talented and everything you make is so pretty from coloring to quality everything. i admire you so so much and im so grateful to have you as a mutual 🥺💞💘

@marvelousbangtan sookies mom i hope i spelt that right😭 crystal ilysm your tags on my posts always make me so happy and your gifs are stunning and on top of all that youre so so so nice :(((((((((((💘💞💘im so happy we're mutuals :(

@gimbapchefs idk when you’ll see this 😭😭 nat *calls for a manhunt* but im so glad im mutuals with you ☹️you’re such a fun person, unproblematic person and i love interacting with you so much. im still so so grateful for the ptd in seoul stream, you gave me such an amazing opportunity and i’ll probably always be grateful for it and never ever forget it 💗i hope you’re doing well, hope to see you on my dash soon with your amazing gifs. imy ☹️💗

@jiminswn you’re really gonna make me repeat my giffing classes agenda huh 😔 jokes aside, miss alice im a fangirl. there i said it ☹️ you have the prettiest 16k ultra hd gifs and your colouring is gorgeous 😭😭ive been following u for so long, even before i started giffing and sometimes even now i wonder how u do it 🥺💗 any time i see u in my notifs, i get butterflies okay? ☹️💞

@min-boongie apart from being so pretty inside out *sobs* you're so nice reka and so so helpful. i meant what i said all those days ago, i look up to your content so much, your colouring is always so beautiful☹️💗💞💞💘

@heybaetae i was so scared to do this but miss kelli apart from your content that is prettiest in all the land with all the pretty colours and the highest quality sharpening, i feel like i actually screamed like a fangirl when you followed me back, more so when you rbed a set of mine with “#TALENT” yeah, im gonna get that laminated 😔

@rkivedfiles miss erl i love your gifs so much and your coloring is just so pretty and distinct i feel like i can recognise it from a mile away💗im so happy im mutuals with you :( you’re so nice and i still go back to look at that jimin set you made me ☹️💗

@hannahbee12719 miss hannah i think you’re literally nicest person ever😭 your tags make me feel so warm and appreciated and im so so grateful that im mutuals with you. i love and respect you so much 🥺☹️💗💘💕🥺

@hobeah flo ik you must be a little confused because we’ve interacted but also not too much but you HAVE to know how much i love your gifs. truly top tier content with the prettiest colouring and the quality just blows my mind even on the app 🥺💗

@userjiminie i had to tag you okay? i love love love your gifs so much miss rafa and you’re also so talented like esp your pinned post 😭 how do u do it☹️💗seeing your tags on my posts just makes my day okay? and you saying u like my content made me sob for 17 miniutes 😔🤧💕

@minieggukie apart from being the jikook™️ blog on here, miss kris i tagged u because i wanted you to know that you just have a very pretty coloring style okay? 🥺💕it just so soft and pretty and you even manage to gif lq videos so well 🤧 we don’t interact but pls know that i love your gifs so so much and i actually squealed when u followed me back *sniffs*

@sugajimin i tagged you because i wanted you to know that you have amazing gifs and your a-z with jimin is my fav thing on this hellsite 😭 and even your gfx are amazing!! you’re really so so talented, the quality of your gifs just makes me gasp sometimes, thank you for following me back 😭💞

@rosebowl miss sharika you just seem like a very cool person okay? your gifs are really really pretty and i just love looking at your 100days of seokjin series ☹️i hope you’ve been well 🤧💕

@kth1 miss maggie i know we don’t interact much but i needed u to know that i really really love your gifs <3 your coloring is vv pretty and your gifs are always in such high quality ☹️🥺💗

@sopev we’ve never interacted that much but miss daphne i tagged you to let you know that 1) idk how many times i’ve opened your blog to stare at your header 2) your gifs are stunning. stunning. period. they’re so colourful and so hq ☹️💕💘

@taechnological miss sae you’re just very cool okay? there i said it 😔 but apart from being so funny and cool i think you’re just a really great person to interact with and i absolutely love all your threads, your dedication is so so appreciated ☹️💗💕

@textsfrombangtan how does it feel to be the funniest, most iconic person on this hellsite? 😔 you have to know that i love your tags so much 🤧 and i sometimes stalk all your posts because your memes just make me really happy okay? ☹️ily hope you’re taking care of your (iconic) self 💗 or else 😤💪

@jinv my tag for you is coloring genius valeinstein💀 and rightfully so because miss val your coloring is truly something else, i got a bit dizzy when u started following me because ive been admiring you and your (amazing) content from afar for so long ☹️🥺💞💕

@cherryvmin kheer my darling, the absolute queen of moodboards i miss interacting with you but you have to know that i love your content so much and you’re really just so so nice and warm it melts my heart ☹️💗💘💕

@jiminie-and-his-pinky-finger nani my bb how are you 🥺💗i hope you’re doing okay. i tagged u to know that i love you and im so happy to be mutuals with you for so long 💗💘 anytime we interact, it fills me with so much warmth because you’re truly such a sweetheart ☹️💗

@jimijimimie pristine my darling imy okay? ily☹️💘 you’re so so talented and your tags on my posts just muah 💋 i hope you’ve been well, just know that im always here for you 💗💗

@tekootine val my baby i hope you’re okay ily so so much 💗☹️ you’re a total sweetheart whos so talented and im so happy whenever we interact because seeing you in my inbox brings the biggest smile on my face 💘💞 you’re just very precious okay? 🥺😭💕

@softbobamilktae zee i hope you know how much i appreciate you. we’ve been mutuals for quite a while now and i hope you know im so grateful for your support esp during that time in my dms 💗 you’re also so relatable in your tps omg 😳💞

@introlxv onyx bb we haven’t talked properly in so long but i just want to tell u that i love and appreciate you so much 💗☹️youre so fucking talented and amazing and im so happy i know you 💗💕💞pls never forget that 🥺💗

@moonsclover ahana my adopted bb ilysm and you're truly such a sweetheart i love love love your moodboards so much and anytime i see you in my inbox, it just brightens up my day by x323239💘💗💕

@fluffyydumplings fluffy i know we’ve completely stopped interacting but pls know that im so happy we’re still mutuals and that you’re so so talented and your voice oml is beautiful(i just remembered your narration(?) for that one fic). i hope you’ve been well 💗

@vopegist kyo dough i love u. thanks for coming to my ted talk. im just kidding, ik we haven’t talked in a while but just know that ily and am always here for you titty 💀☹️💗🥺

@rkivian miss kiri you’re such a fun person and im so glad we’ve been mutuals for so long ☹️ you really stole my heart when u dmed me all those months ago hskdjsks besides everything, i really love it when you tag me in games okay? makes me feel connected to you even tho its been so long since we interacted ☹️💗

@parkjiminxfloor jans idk when you’ll see this bb but know that ily and im forever grateful for your support🥺💞thank you for all your sweet asks and tags, they always make my day 💗💗you’re amazing 💫

@alpacaseok star we just became mutuals but know that i really appreciate you and you’re just really a very sweet, supportive person 🥺💞

@thornedswan ik we’ve barely interacted but pls know im always so so grateful for you reblogging my gifs 💗

@cosyserendipity sonjaaa you’re so so sweet and i think i already told you this but im always so so grateful for your reblogs 🥺💗 and that the fact that you tag me in games, i love those!💘💗💞

@crispy-chan jas my absolute darling favourite baby ever 🥺💗i love you so so much and i miss you and our conversations a lot ☹️💗 youre such an amazing person and on top of all that you’re literally so talented and sweet. i hope you’re taking care of your precious self (hows apple 💀💗) miss you and love you tons pls know that i tagged u last so that u could find yourself amongst all these bts blogs 😭

[chanluster]

hello all 😃

I was gonna post this at midnight on the first day of 2022, but real life is a bitch and in truth i forget things really easily now.

still, as 2021 has ended, i feel as if i had to come out of my hibernation and say a few things about this blog, and its impact.

first of all, i saw my fics hitting new milestones, and i couldn’t even believe that despite me being barely here i receive so much love and appreciation from you people. it means so much, and truly so much, that every single one of you take the time to read my mostly horny ramblings and leave a like, comment, reblog or ask 🥺 to know i am appreciated while i am not here has been one of my greatest achievements.

second, but most importantly, i wanted to mention a few people who have definitely impacted my 2021, and the fics they brought with them.

@mocimori — CHIAAAAA, LOMLLLLL TREASURE OF MY HEART 😭😭😭❤️❤️😭❤️😭😭❤️ you are another ive wronged with my terrible replies but now i see why you complained about uni 😭 that shit SUCKS but ever since you sent in those Paris asks you have managed to make me a complete SIMP of you and every artwork you’ve made of SKZ and genshin makes me wanna like retweet reblog bookmark comment subscribe EVERYTHING !!! you’re so insanely talented and to top it off you are literally one of the nicest people I’ve ever met????? pls pls forgive me for never replying and pls let’s write that anti hero! skz fic we are not doing it justice w all those theories we had 💀💀 i love you so so much and i hope you’re doing amazing ☹️❤️

@bruh-changbin — oh my fucking god . SKY. My Bitch. My Love. the few crackers i will love and appreciate in my life 🥶 no but seriously you are one of tumblrs few treasures I’ve experienced and this is a big one cause tumblr fucking SUCKS 😭😭 you’ve become such an important person to me and despite u sending me terrible #girlboss memes ur every tiktok, random traumatic moments of your life and twilight memes send me off the edge 😭 thank you for being a funny sexy mf and i promise ill watch twilight soon I PROMISE 💀❤️❤️ ps. pls reply to my tiktoks i want attention 🙄🙄

to lysol — @soobmint @honeyju @hyuckworld (+ all ur other personalities on tumblr 😻) — you fucking three holy shit i hate you all so much because now im obsessed with three stupid americans from across the world who i have never met but would give my kidneys for 😐😐😐 but seriously you three are the reason i haven’t given up on writing ☹️ you guys encouraging me, our constant borderline racially motivated bullying (call me currymuncher one more time alice addy 😐) and just being unforgivably yourselves have become such a comfort to me, and I genuinely wouldn’t know what I would do without you all. Thank you for being in my life. I actually mean it this time 🙄❤️❤️ (no but really i love you so much y’all are the reason for my attachment issues)

special mentions to @healinghyunjin @scxrlettwxtches @aliceu !! i know i never reply and am so so so dead on here but i promise y’all be living in my head rent free !! all of your fics are the reason i have faith in stayblr cause imma be honest with yall stayblr has a draught in good fics💀

now i know i don’t have an abundance of friends or mutuals on here, but the people ive mentioned here, and my readers and supporters are the reason ive given myself a small belief that I can do something with writing. university is being a pain, i am tired, but you all give me strength to hopefully become active again.

i apologise if all of this sounds a bit random and all over the place, but that’s because it’s midnight and i feel like im about to pass out — a mf needs her sleep 💀 anyway, i hope you all have an amazing 2022, and please stay safe ❤️