#did i look at katie mcgrath as a blonde and say you will be the mother of bellatrix who is just you with black hair?

[westershiresauce]

Headcanon: Deus Ex Scuba Gear

Note: Spoilers for Bly Manor. 

So, here is my Bly Manor/Supergirl crossover crackfic headcanon where Kara is Dani and her ex Mike gets killed by a truck when he walks into traffic after Kara comes out to him and breaks off their relationship.

“Mike, I think I’m gay,” the blonde whispers, too ashamed to speak any louder. The man next to her tenses slightly before a look of relief washes over him.

“Oh thank God,” he says, and smiles at a confused Kara.

“What? You’re okay with this?” Mike shrugs and shoots the woman his frustratingly disarming grin. 

“I mean, am I glad I’m being dumped? No. Am I relieved that the reason is you aren’t into guys? Kind of.” Kara wrinkles her brows in confusion and he continues. 

“I mean, I know I’m hot.” Mike grins again and winks at the blonde who purses her lips at his peacocking, “I thought maybe you were just frigid or something.”

“Mike!” Kara looks around to make sure no one is listening. Mike laughs and she shoots him a glare. 

“Hey, you’re the one that decided to break my heart at the corner of a major intersection.” 

He winks at her and she advances on the man, trying to shut him up. He skips away from her, ignoring the fact that he is now in the crosswalk of the intersection. 

“Mike! Stop fooling around!” the blonde pleads but the man ignores her. 

“Hey, were you checking out chicks while we were together?” He waggles his eyebrows and Kara balls her fists at her sides. She refuses to take the bait. The man just laughs at her silence. “Dude, you totally did. What’s your type?” 

He goes quiet suddenly and his face lights up. Kara shakes her head. It is seldom a good thing when the man gets a light bulb moment. 

“Hey Kara,” his face gets lecherous and Kara readies herself for some horrifying comment, “Would you let me watch?” 

Kara’s face blooms red with embarrassment and anger. She steps closer to jab her finger against the man’s face and get her point across. However, Mike anticipates this and he takes another step back, grin still in place even as a truck barrels into his body. Kara stares in shock, midstep and with her finger still in the air as Mike is flung at least twenty feet down the street. The smell of burning rubber as the truck attempts to stop and the blaring sound of a horn being pressed much too late fill her senses. 

Kara: “No, Mike, not gay as in happy. Good lord, dude!”

Kara is at the hospital when Mike is pronounced dead. Rhea never really liked her so she leaves for her apartment, still shaken but confused about how she feels about what happened. On the one hand she feels responsible for what happened, but on the other hand, she almost feels relieved. Until, that is, she goes to wash her hands in the bathroom and sees Mike standing behind her. She screams and when she turns around, he is gone. It isn’t until a few days later that she hears someone walking around her apartment that she realizes what happened. She grabs her trusty bat and walks out, expecting some coke addict rifling through her bookshelves but instead sees Mike, pawing at her bookcase. He grunts in frustration when his hand goes through a book but cheers when he manages to knock one onto the floor. Kara drops the bat in shock and Mike turns around, grins wide and puts a hand up in a peace sign, just like when he was alive.

Mike: “I’m still here, bro!”

Turns out Mike is tethered to Kara and it is a horrible, cruel curse. He is both the best and worst wingman and Kara is still not convinced he doesn’t try to peek when she is getting dressed or showering but he also helps her learn to be more confident. All his shameless arrogance makes him a great cheerleader, at least once they talk about some ground rules.

1. No creeping on Kara in the bathroom or when she is changing. Mike scoffs at this and mutters about being able to creep on hotter ladies. 

2. No unsolicited advice or comments about women that Kara is not interested in pursuing a relationship with. This is added after a week of Mike making comments about women that had Kara blushing constantly, even at work.

3. No watching when Kara has a lady over. She wasn’t sure where Mike disappeared off to when she did manage to have a date come back to her place but he would always leave after shooting Kara another peace sign and telling her to “do the circle thing I showed you.”

It all hits the fan when Rhea gets wind of Kara dating women and she packs up and leaves. She does not want to deal with that fallout and she would rather get a fresh start somewhere else. Where is that where else? London, Bly Manor, American au pair, you know the rest.

Kara: “Yeah, I’m gonna take a one way and gtfo of here.”

Who are our players at Bly?

Our cook Owen Sharma is good old Jack Spheer because sometimes these things write themselves. And who is our beloved Hannah Grose? Why, Lucy Lane. Because she was too good and I always want to see more of her. Plus she can be a stern little spitfire with the kids and ghosties (The kids refer to her to as Major). She takes her fine self and daydreams about the moment that charming Jack came over to get the job as a cook, not dead, just as a useless hetero (is that a thing? It is now...) that can’t fathom for some reason that Jack is totally in love with her.

As for Rebecca Jessel and Peter Quint? Kelly Olsen (the only character with any brain cells half the time) and Andrea Rojas, our muy caliente Scotsman. Is that racist? No, but her horrendous accent might be a crime. This version has none of the controlling assholeroy of Peter and no secretly killing Rebecca. Just good old bad luck in a horror series. Andrea gets drunk and tries to dive into the lake to find the chest of loot she is convinced is down there so her and Kelly can run away to America. 

Andrea: “This is a file on all the reasons you should run away from this haunted ass creepy mansion and come with me to America. Also, there is a map I drew of the lake with an X where the loot most definitely is.”

Kelly: “This is just a picture of you in lingerie and a sheet of paper you colored blue with a big red X in the middle.” 

Kelly dies trying to save her when Andrea starts to get hypothermia and they both drown in the freezing lake. Because why bury your gays when you can drown them? Amiright? Who finds their bodies the next day? This leads to the following section: Next slide, please!

Who is standing in for Miles and Flora Wingrave? Why, Ruby and a tiny Nia, of course. Nia is a sweet baby angel and I want to meet her as a little sister, totally doted on by her big sister, Ruby. Nia sees Andrea and Kelly arguing like lesbians (so much hand waving and crying and angry whispering) on the far end of the lake while their blue popsicle bodies float around. Ruby and Lucy drag little Nia away from the scene.

Nia: “My giant scarf is perfectly splendid! Also, I am baby.” 

Things get really spicy when Kara shows up, ghost!Mike and all. He complains about not being able to haunt the “hot chick from apartment 314” any more, but he perks up at the thought of “British broads.” Kara had hoped he was tethered to National City or something, but it appears he is linked to her. Mike is ecstatic when he finds out Bly is full of ghosts. He is always off somewhere exploring the mansion and only pops in to tell Kara snippets of Bly’s history and its many inhabitants. 

Meanwhile, we get to the real star of this indulgent charade. Lena as the wonderfully fit Irish (let her have the accent!) gardener, Jaime. She is convinced Kara is a corn-fed straighty from America until Kara throws herself at her in the greenhouse because flowers turn on lesbians (see Imagine You and Me and Georgia O'Keeffe’s many works. This is sapphic lore, kids.) She opens up about Mike and Lena smooches her so she doesn’t have to listen to the hot blonde’s delusions. 

Lena: “What do you mean it is too bright? What book? This is a watering can for my gardening activities. So is my fashionable, appropriately sized hat.”

Kara: *OMG she is so hot and cool, what do I do?* “Hey, do you guys do the circle thing in the UK?” 

Meanwhile, things are getting interesting with Mike and the ghosts: Kelly and Andrea, newly minted Bly ghosts, explain that they are stuck on the grounds. Mike, who believes in having the freedom of “you do you,” vows to break the curse. He strikes a heroic pose that makes Andrea roll her eyes but Kelly agrees they need to find out more about the origins of the Bly Manor curse. 

Flashback episode in a horrid b/w tone because I want to show this is old, okay. It’s not like we could figure it out by the clothes. Or the set dressing. Or the fact that the one of the characters died of “the lung.”

Anyway, we have our sisters, Viola and the other one. Their names don’t really matter because they are going to be the brunette one and the blonde one, played by the queen of period series: Katie McGrath.   

Anger-y brunette Katie, getting her smacking hand ready. 

And blonde, sad (but also evil? plot twist!) Katie, lusting after her brother in law. 

And they fight over none other than Daddy Cullen, Maxwell Lorde, because look at that hair, look at all those buttons, look at that big hand! Who could resist? 

The child is baby Lena being twirled by Anger-y Katie pre-“the lung” because let’s just have this turn into a black hole that destroys itself. 

Baby Lena: “Swing me, mummy. Swing me with your good lungs!”

Anger-y Smack-You-Every-Time Katie: “I swung too close to the sky and now this is happening to me.”

So while Kara and Lena are christening all sorts of places at Bly (yes, even the master wing because, of course, the master wing), Mike, Andrea, and Kelly are incepting themselves into all sorts of memories and whatnot. Cue that montage!

404 ERROR. MONTAGE NOT FOUND. 

Whoops, looks like we blew our budget on that black and white filter. Sorry about that.

Once the ghost trio realizes the chest in the lake doesn’t in fact hold some dragon’s hoard of gold, but the key to ending this madness, Mike pops in on Lena and Kara to bring them up to speed. Kara screams at him about the third rule while Lena tries to accept the fact that her girlfriend (yes, they are girlfriends by now, keep up) has a ghost for a best friend. 

Kara makes Mike look away while her and Lena get dressed and after quite a bit of exposition, they decide to pull the chest up from the lake. Lucy and Jack have been off playing hide the croissant or whatever the straights do during their leisure time, but they quickly hop on the “break the Bly manor curse” train.  

There is a fun B (C?) plot where Ruby and Nia steal Jack’s car and drive into town. No one in town cares because they are rich and all the adults at Bly are busy romancing each other and assume the girls are being odd rich kids playing somewhere in the manor. 

The adults are planning how to get down to the chest without suffering Andrea and Kelly’s fate, when they find some scuba gear the kids bought on their last trip to town. It is wholly impractical but the adults shrug and accept the plot hole so they can hurry this along. 

They draw straws and Kara has to dive down and tie some chains around the sunken chest. Lena jumps in front of limited edition Scuba Gear Kara to stop her but the American has to America so she dives into the freezing lake after a swoon inducing “I’ll be right back” kiss. Like, gifable on tumblr, twitter, and whatever new platform there is a hundred years from now.  

Scuba Gear Kara: “Guys, I can’t see anything through this helmet. Guys?“

After a few tense moments where Anger-y Olden Time™ Katie tries to stop Kara, Mike, Andrea, and Kelly step in and use their ghost powers to keep her away from Kara. Jack uses his car to pull up the haunted chest and they pry it open with a crowbar and plenty of moxie. The screams of slap happy Katie of the past ring out around the heroes as the curse is broken. The ghosts cheer, everyone laughs nervously (they know the end is never the end in a horror story) and Kara shivers from the cold until she is next to the fire, dry and cuddled up with Lena.

As her final act of revenge, Anger-y Katie gives Kara the Lung(!) but thanks to the power of Science, our spunky American pulls through after properly completing the full course of treatment and antibiotics. This includes Lena taking sexy care of her girlfriend. *wink*

***** westershiresauce is not a medical professional and their thoughts regarding the health benefits/healing powers of a sexy nurse!Lena are not verified. Don’t take srsly. ***** 

Cut to, one more garden and I can retire, Lena, sitting next to an immaculate shrub, waiting for her wife Kara to bring out the tea and biscuits. 

THE END!

Lena: “I swear to all that is holy, if that tea is shite, I am leaving her. It’s been like thirty years!”  

[writing-imagines]

“Life Imitates Art” A Katie McGrath imagine

When you first read your characters discreption on Supergirl, you thought everyone would hate the character. So it was a huge shock to you that fans liked your character. They even liked you after starting a relationship with Lena Luthor. But little did everyone outside of the cast and your families know, your relationship continued off screen. One day after filiming Katie pulled you aside and asked to join her for dinner. One date was all it took for you and Katie to realize you had feelings for each other. Two years later you two married in a very lowkey ceremony. Even though it was nothing crazy and extravagant the fans still managed to find out and that made Katie very nervous.

“What if they say something? I don’t want to be rude but I also don’t want to talk about what’s ours.” You and your wife were waiting off stage to join the Supergirl panel at Comic-Con.

“You can either answer them or just say you don’t want to talk about it. It’s okay to say no, Katie.”

“I just don’t want to let the fans down. I love them so much and they love me so much. It’s just not-“

“And the wonderful Katie McGrath.” The moderator announced causing everyone to cheer. Katie let out a small sigh before going on stage, taking a seat beside Melissa. Seconds later your name was called and you took a seat beside Katie.

The panel went off without a hitch. All the fans asked questions about how their favorite characters would react in the upcoming season and questions about how you all felt playing your characters. But, your day wasn’t over yet. The Con asked if you, Melissa, Chyler, and Katie could do a small meet and greet for VIPs. You all agreed, considering you didn’t have anything going on that day.

The four of you were taken to a small booth where you talked to fans, took pictures, and signed autographs. A few fans passed by saying how much they loved the character which made you happy. As the line dwindled down you had fans who were more interested in your personal life come through.

“Is it true you and Katie got married?” A blonde teenage girl asked you while you signed a picture for her.

“Uh...yeah it’s true.”

“That’s so sweet! I really love you guys together.”

“Oh...well thank you.” The girl moved on and asked Katie to sign the same photo as you did. While Katie was signing the teenage girl’s picture you were busy signing a little girl’s Supergirl cape. Just as you finished up you heard Katie talking about you.

“Yeah y/n is so great. I’m really a lucky girl. Thank you for being respectful, sweetheart.”

Soon enough you met all the fans and were able to go back to the hotel. Melissa and Chyler decided to stay behind and do a few more interviews, meaning you and Katie could go back to your hotel. The two of you exited through a back door and to the car that was waiting for you. You placed your phone in the pocket of the passenger seat and attached it to a charger since it was about to die. As the car drove past the front of the convention center, fans took pictures of the car which made Katie anxious.

“It’s okay, babe. They can’t see through the tinted windows.” You held her hand which always seemed to calm her down.

“Sorry, I just don’t want them to see too much.”

“It’s okay, babe. You didn’t seem to mind the girl from earlier talking about us.”

“No she was so sweet and nice though. She said how happy she was for us.”

“You know a lot of fans feel that way. There’s only a few that are mad or aren’t happy we’re together. Even then they’re just upset that you won’t end up with whoever they ship you with.”

“What the hell does ‘ship’ mean?” She asked with a very confused look on her face. You couldn’t hold back a laugh.

“It’s what teenagers say when they like two characters together. Like a lot of people ship Kara and Lena.”

“Oh! That doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense but okay.” You brought her hand to your lips and pressed soft kisses across her knuckles. Katie blushed before inching closer to you. Her head rested on your shoulder while still holding your hand.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you, Katherine?”

“A few times, yes. You may have said it at our wedding.” You laughed before placing a kiss on top of your wife’s head.

“I really love you, babe. I don’t care what anyone ever says about us. I love you, you’re all I care about.” Katie lifted her head up and looked at you with puppy dog eyes.

“You have no idea how much I love you, y/n.” Your wife leaned over just a little and kissed your cheek. You expected just one kiss, but you ended up getting so many kisses from your wife. You couldn’t fight the blush that crept across your face and honestly you didn’t want to fight it.

When you arrived at the hotel, you climbed out of the car first. You held the door open for Katie and extended your hand to help her out.

“My hero.” She said as her feet touched the ground. You grinned at your wife before leaning back in the car to grab your phone.

“You and your wife are very cute.” The driver said looking back at you just a little.

“She’s the cute one, I’m just the average looking one.” You exchanged laughs with the driver before joining Katie in the hotel lobby.

“What were you and the driver laughing about?” She asked while entering the elevator. Once the doors were closed she leaned against you again. You snakes an arm around her waist, affectively keeping your wife upright.

“About how cute you are.”

“No you weren’t!”

“Mhm. I told him you were the cute one, I’m just the average looking one in the relationship.”

“Shut up, you’re plenty adorable.”

“Whatever you say, baby.” You exited the elevator, to your suprise holding hands. Once you were in the hotel room, you both changed out of your outfits and into comfy clothes. For the rest of the night, Katie stayed wrapped in your arms.

[hitchell-mope]

Ok I’ve been working on something for years that I hope to make it into a tv show one day but probably can’t because once upon a time beat me to it

So imagine

Michael darling single handedly stopped a war that was never meant to end at the cost of his life and to correct “something” the universe sees fit to tear open a hole in the fabric of reality which all cartoons bleed through. Disney Pixar Simpson’s marvel dc blue sky laika everything you can think of are now inhabiting the real world the only humans left are Wendy darling and her close family and friends

Disney’s taken over Great Britain and Ireland. Mickey and Minnie are the king and queen until they see fit to retire

Simpson’s are now in Hollywood Bart is filthy stinking rich and the Whitehouse is his mansion

So on and so forth

Main characters

Jane Ophelia Emerson: now known as Jaime aster blonde hair blue eyes around 5 foot 8 inches. Has magic like the whole of her mothers side of the family. Unlocks it when she meets Peter Pan for the first time. Like her mother and grandmother before her she fell for him hard. So imagine the bitterness when she discovers she wasn’t the first to fall for him and she won’t be the last seeing as he’s fated to be her son in law. She stops her and her friends physical aging process when she’s 16 because she’s terrified of growing up and having to leave everything behind. Gets married to three guys. James pleiades Hawkins from treasure planet. An evil bisexualversion of superman she was forced to create out of two variations of kryptonite (black and pink). William smees illegitimate son that he got from a hooker on the neverland pier. Padraic hutchins. And together they’ve adopted three kids not much younger then them. Youngest to oldest. Timothy Tiberius Turner. Horrid Henry. Alice Liddell. Preferred drink is olive oil until she decides to stop aging then she goes all out on the booze. She really does not like using mjolnir but that’s exactly why she can use it. She killed her own cousin after Peter Pan was taken advantage of. Speaks how she was raised. Posh. But the angrier she gets the more common she sounds.

James pleiades Hawkins: nicknamed Plei shoulder length brown hair turquoise eyes five foot nine. Space cadet. Made a little mistake in that he wished he had magic when holding an empty lamp. This means he’s now a genie but he can appear normal except when angered and he turns an olive green. His lamp stays hidden in Jaime’s blood stream. Very protective of his kids. From montressor but speaks with a middling California accent

Kal: under duress Jaime creates him by combining black and pink kryptonite (according to what I’ve read black turns him evil and somehow pink turns him gay I don’t know why so please don’t ask) so imagine a five foot eleven inch evil bisexual superman built like a tank flirting with anyone he sees. There are limits. He cannot go after anyone younger then Jaime or older then Wendy. Or anyone she is directly related to. Has a side thing going with she hulk (cause of that man of steel woman of Kleenex problem). Looks so much like Clark Kent (blue eyes jet black hair) that once the bitterness has subsided they eventually declare themselves twins. Actually talks with a Kansas accent (it’s a pet peeve of mine) hair goes to his shoulder blades

Padraic Hutchins: five foot ten. Mixed race but unless he showed you a picture of his father (mr smee who is like really white) you wouldn’t be able to tell. Dark black skin (think terry crews) dark blonde waist length hair. Emerald green eyes. Met Jaime when he was working as cabin boy (and hooks personal stool master) on the Jolly Roger. Jaime offered him a deal. Sword fight just him and her. She wins he becomes her butler and all that entails. He wins she becomes his butler and all that entails. It comes to a stalemate. He decides to go with her though. (If you had to wipe hooks ass wouldn’t you leave given a chance) invents a new method of killing when getting revenge on a racist homophobic cop in Springfield. He may look like terry crews but speaks like Katie McGrath (his accent is Dublin posh)

Merida: jaimes best friend. Scottish. Really really curly bright orange hair halfway down her back. Grey blue eyes. 5”8. Harsh rivalry with Clarabelle cow Clarabelle keeps calling her fat by accident. She is not fat. The slightly barrel like figure she has is pure muscle. Moved in with Jaime after an absolutely blow out fight with her mother and hasn’t looked back since. Met Parker through tragedy. The were on an excursion with the parr children and dash died in front of her. Completely destroyed her for months. Tried to change everything about herself to feel better. None of it worked. Cut and straightened her hair. Tried to lose weight (just became addicted to caffeine). She even gave up archery (which if you know her is a serious cause for concern). And through it all Parker was there

Peter Benjamin Parker: the group calls him Parker because there are one too many Peters in the world and they needed to differentiate. Brown hair that grows out to his chin. Brown eyes. 5”9. Splits himself so he can have a somewhat normal life. There is now three of him. The original with Merida. Petey living with aunt may. Spider-Man. Parker actually grows to like the venom suit and through magic is actually able to control it. Realised he was bi when he kissed Padraic to cheer him up after Kal was being a jackass. Then harry arrived. Still has his native New York accent but it interchanges with a British accent after he’s lived in Kensington for some time.

Melody: Danish princess. Daughter of Ariel and Eric. Granddaughter of king triton. Black hair blue eyes. 5”8. Has a thing for blonde men. Was attracted to Cody before he told her he was asexual then she layed off him. Eventually gets with zephyr. Non practicing catholic except in one respect. Jaime gave her her own trident. Loves to swim. She’ll shrink herself down and use a wine glass if she has to. Always wears her hair in a ponytail

Zephyr: French Romani. Blonde shoulder length hair in a pageboy style cut. Green blue eyes. 5”9. Always wears the outfit he had on in his film only now it’s in an older more mature style. Smitten with melody when they met but she had a thing for Cody so he couldn’t say anything. He just got steadily more drunk. Scarily flexible. Likes to hang from chandeliers with his toes. Bit like a blonde Dick Grayson. Non practicing catholic in the same way melody is.

Cody Anderson: Swedish but has spent a lot of time in Australia. 5”11. Blonde hair long enough to braid. Keeps it in a man bun 90% of the time. Asexual. Much rather run climb or play video games then date or sleep with someone. Poor thing has been conscripted as Kals wingman. He absolutely hates it. He just tells the intended targets the truth and if Kal can’t seal the deal on his own merits it’s not Cody’s problem. Apparently can survive on one hour sleep.

Alice Liddell: one of Jaime Plei Kal and Padraics adoptive children. 12 years old. 5”5. Reality warper. Mostly this means she can make a portal to wonderland through any surface. But then she gets magic and all bets are off. Adopted because we birth parents were about to have her committed to an asylum because she kept insisting wonderland is real (it is of course but they have literal Victorian sensibilities and to them Alice has cracked) favourite Dad is Plei. Blonde hair half way down her back. Blue eyes. Actually does look like Jaime a little bit except Jaime’s hair is more of a tawny gold colour and Alice’s is more yellow. Like Jaime defies the dumb blonde stereotype. Uses her powers in very creative ways. Eventually ditches the pinafore

“Horrid” henry: except not really. His biological parents are just jackasses who scapegoat him so the worm is the professed golden child. Reddish brown hair and definitely fulfils the firey redhead stereotype. But manages to use it in helpful ways after Henry’s his own magic. Loves his chemistry set. Many a stink bomb was made from it. 5”4. 11 years old. Green eyes. Favourite Dad is Kal. Again like Zephyr, he always wears the same outfit. Adopted because Jaime could see that he was miserable at his own house and was always happiest when she was babysitting him.

Timothy Tiberius Turner: brown hair blue eyes pink hat. Still has his fairy godparents because Jorgen Von strangle is terrified of Jaime (the girl unionised death). Not stupid per-say but he doesn’t think things through. Favourite Dad is Padraic. Adopted after Jaime went to talk to his fairies and saw his babysitter strapping him to a torture wheel. Definitely the baby of the group being 10 years old

Harry Osborn: 5”9. Black hair blue eyes. Bi. Enters a relationship with Parker and Merida. Hung up on Parker for longer then he’d care to admit. But always believed (as Parker did) that he was straight. Strikes up an odd friendship with Jaime over the “Peters who have ruined their lives” (Parker and Pan) the only difference Osborn is now with his Peter and Jaime doesn’t love her one anymore. He revels in the fact Parker feels the need to protect him and their respective positions in the relationship have changed. Was dying before he used magic to cure the unknown disease that would ravage his body. Couldn’t use his fortune to find a cure because his fathers will stipulates that he’d be disinherited if he tried to cure himself. That and he wanted to defend himself properly should the need arise

Ashton Darling: Jaime’s cousin born in the same hospital month day and the exact same time. Shoulder length tawny gold hair blue eyes same height as Jaime. It’s a running gag that he and Jaime look so much alike they could easily be the same person cloned and don’t think that before puberty when her hair was shorter they didn’t pull pull a twin switch. They even have the same taste in men. Fictional with bright eyes. Expected a bigger reaction from Jaime when he came out to her. She knew and they carried on as normal. Eventually starts dating Jack Frost from rise of the guardians. His parents are fans of that 70’s show. His younger brother is called Topher

Jack Frost: pure white hair blue eyes. 5”9. Always in the same outfit. Guardian of fun. Has a sibling like rivalry with Elsa. She thinks he’s annoying and he thinks she’s boring despite them having the same powers. In Jack Elsa sees what she could have had. Yes Jack was lonely but he made the best of it for centuries and he had people to talk to (North toothania bunnymund and Sandy) whereas Elsa retreated into herself scared of going near others. Though they come to an understanding and when Jaime gives the shovel talk to Jack Elsa gives the shovel talk to Ashton. Ashton and Jack met in similar circumstances to Merida and Parker except the Ashton and Jack’s weren’t nearly as tragic as Merida and Parker

Taran: 13 years old. 5”6. Red hair green eyes. Dalbens ward but somehow ends up staying at Jaime’s (admittedly insanely cavernous) flat more then necessary and everyone knows why except him. Alice has taken a shine to him. He doesn’t quite know why. Gurgis still attached to his hip. He and Eilonwy drifted apart but they are still friends. Has next to no idea what’s going on more than half the time

Felicia Hardy: old friend of Harry and Parker. The friend that would not leave. Her father died and she still is not over it. Cinnamon colour hair hazel eyes. 5”8. Hapless. That is until the symbiote infects her and almost starts a war with the galactic federation.

Johnny Storm: like Parker the group just call him storm. 5”9. Mid length spiky blonde hair. Blue eyes. The human torch. Enters the group by happenstance. Works at Oscorp on an intern. When Parker took the fall for what Felicia was blamed for harry had a bit of a panic attack demanding that he and Parker weren’t separated again so to assuage him Parker takes him on a holiday in a private suite in the death hotel. But then Storm arrives with this contract he needs harry to sign and it escalates from there so now Merida has three boyfriends who are also dating each other one of which is in intergalactic jail.

There are a multitude of alternate realities that are accessed through a full length mirror in Jaime’s flat. Some have diffoerent circumstances or flipped morality/genders or different outcomes. For example

Different circumstances: Clark crashed into the Wayne’s greenhouses and the shock set off Martha’s labour. Clark married a one Diana prince and had two children. Oliver Kingston Wayne and Barry Allen Wayne. Bruce is the drink uncle who accidentally joined a big brother program and Clark is making damned sure Bruce is honouringthe commitment. Oliver dances at a club to be self sufficient. Barry meanwhile is obsessed with chemistry. Clark stayed home with a sick Alfred that fateful night and has never forgiven himself. So he became superman to make sure something like that never happens to anyone else. Bruce however became a preteen alcoholic. Chardonnay is his drink of choice. Their pool cleaner a mr Arthur curry and their chauffeur is a mr Hal Jordan

Different outcome: Professor farnsworth took over New New York with an army of bending units aided by his insane son Phillip. Leela is Phillips personal slave. An impoverished Amy Wong is his public slave (Leela is a sewer mutant). Carol Walt Larry and Igner are incarcerated for trying to throw a coup

Flipped morality: Snow White, jealous of her fathers affection for his new wife, killed her father and blamed grimhilde for it. She learned dark magic and killed the queen in a mirror storm then took over the kingdom with only seven diamond armoured dwarfs. All when she was fourteen.

Flipped gender: Cendrillon used as servant in his own home until he’s able to go to the ball aided by his fairy godfather. The princess saved him with a glass slipper

You get the idea

The characters relation ships with their parents:

Jaime and Wendy had a major falling out because Wendy kept trying to put her solutions in alignment with Jaime’s problems. Eventually Jaime moved next door into a flat in Mickey and Minnie’s castle. And now Jaime’s the queen. Wendy is 5”10 tawny gold hair almost always in a bun. Blue eyes and always dressed in blue. Mid to late forties. Edward Emerson. Think Henry cavil in prime superman mode greying at the temples in either army fatigues or black denim. One year older than Wendy. Besides George he is the only mortal in the family and being mortal he can use a magic wand (no one quite knows why only mortals can use wands)

Plei’s mother Sarah looks the same as in the film. Now you need to go through trauma for your magic to settle. And Plei’s trauma is seeing his father Leland a gain in god know how long. It does not go well

Kal have a rivalry with Clark because Kal sees Clark as a wimp who is wasting his powers on helping people and Clark thinks Kal is a no good miscreant. Their parents though treat Kal the same way they treat Clark. Doesn’t matter if he’s a close W he’s their son. In return Kal values them and does not hate them like he hates Kal (high praise in deed)

Smee just wants Padraic to be happy and if that means Padraic being in England in an entirely different dimension then so be it.

Elinor got impatient with Merida taking so long to choose a suitor and then Merida decided to try and find a boyfriend from non options (read as she doesn’t love the clans sons). So they had a hard he blow out fight which led to Merida moving in with Jaime and she’s barely looked back since

May doesn’t know Parker is no longer st school and he is not planning on telling her. And besides she’s got Benji

Ariel and Eric know everything and as long as melody isn’t hurt they’re fine with it

Phoebus and Esmeralda are just like Ariel and Eric

Cody’s mother isn’t in the picture anymore

Alice’s parents tried to have her committed so their relationship is next to nonexistent

Henry’s is his parents scapegoat so his brother retains a veneer of so called “perfection”

Timmy’s parents are negligent and let him be babysat by a psychopath who repeatedly tries to kill him. His fairy god parents are crazy but at least they care

Norman put a stipulation in his will that if harry seeks a cure then he will be disinherited. So try to gage their relationship from that

John darling came out as bi and his wife couldn’t handle it so she divorced him and took Ashton and Topher to New York. John remarries Casey mulligan. Casey is actually Jamie’s ex husband (don’t get worried it was some stupid new law that all marriages in England are legal. Including playground marriages. Jaime and Casey’s happenedwhen she was five and he was nine). So they got a quickie divorce. And as it turns out Casey has a son from his ex girlfriend. Casey junior (get it?). So now John is a 42 year old divorcee remarried to a twenty year old with a 10 month old step son and two teenage children. Annalise got remarried to Ashton’s high school crush, his Australian swim coach

Jack’s family died a couple centuries ago so what accounts for his family are the guardians a boy who remembers him less and less every year. Elsa who sees him as who she could have been and Anna who just wants everybody to get along. Then there’s kristoff who just wants peace

Taran still goes to see Dalben henwen fflewder and eilonwy when he can

Felicia’s last words to her father were “piss off” so she desperate to make amends with his ghost

Well you know about the fantastic four.

Jaime has become a children’s advocate. Simple stuff like babysitting and making sure the recess gang isn’t split up. But she isn’t up to date on slang so when a mourning 13 year old Angelica pickles drunk dials her, Jaime has no idea what’s the girls saying. And she takes it upon herself to punish the “evil children” ie DW Reed, 3 year old Angelica Pickles, manny heffley, Francine nebulon the children the make their older siblings lives a living hell.

Simpson’s:

Jaime aged up the child population of Springfield by ten years. Barts twenty Lisa’s eighteen Maggies twelve and so on. She also given them special powers. Bart has super speed Lisa HAD telekinesis (she abused it so she losed it. Painful rhyme I know) Maggie has electrokinesis milhouse can ghost through objects Nelson can put national monuments on his pinky nail. Ralph can bend reality to his will. Sherri can teleport Terri can fly. That sort of thing. Though some have non active powers. Moe can not die no matter how hard he tries. Homer and barney have regenerative livers (so they can be sozzled all the time) Bart has inherited Montys fortune and company

[doubleedgecat]

I saw Be More Chill

I bought opening night tickets for my birthday and apparently, I bought second row seats. It was a fantastic production. Also, the theater’s in the perfect place. Most (if not all) of the businesses mentioned ARE right down the road (Hobby Lobby, Kohl’s, not sure if Cherry Hill has a Sbarro’s and a Payless, though). I’ll put more info under the cut about my experience. Also, there’s spoilers, so... yeah.

Actors and Characters

I have a list from the playbill, so that’s good. They have cute quotes too. It’s very in character.

Matt Dalton, plays the role of Jeremy. He looks like a nerd, so perfect. Also, he looked amazing in his post SQUIP outfits. His outfit was different than the one you’re probably use to. Still maintained the striped shirt, but the hoodie was replaced with a long-sleeve solid white shirt. He’s a great actor. He maintained a slouch through most of the first act. Plus, he has all of those scenes where his actions are powered by the SQUIP. Fantastic acting. Fantastic actor. Singing was great too. Definitely different from the one you probably hear a lot. Still enjoyable. I think he has a higher range, so less falsetto. Not entirely sure. He’s with Exit 82, so if I go again, I’ll probably see more of him.

Ryan Everett Wood plays the role of Michael. Michael was way more chill. If you’ve heard the original production, Michael’s super happy, eager, and excited like.... in everything. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with a way more chill Michael either. I mean, he does do a lot of pot. Also, he doesn’t show up that much, which if you knew the play you knew that, but watching it I realized he’s really not in there much. During The Play, I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. So expressive as Jeremy has to make the decision. Also, he leap frogged like a pro. He’s a union member and not a part of the theatre group, so I might not see him again, but you know. Mad kudos. (Also, he ran right past me and scared me when he did his first entrance)

Elizabeth Ritacco plays the role of Christiiiine~ Canigula. SHE WAS AMAZING! OH MY LORD HER OUTFIT WAS SO CUTE SHE HAD CAT STOCKINGS! Also, she had great breath control. Also, she was so adorable throughout her performance. So cute! So happy and cheerful! She’s also barely in it, but I feel like she fully embraces the role. Also, there’s the play sign up in “More than Survive” and she was so graceful in the arms of Jake. Edit: Something I forgot to mention because it was in the very beginning, but Christine went to go get her pen from her bag and a water bottle that looked like a refillable slurpee cup from 7-11 FLEW OUT INTO THE AUDIENCE. She remained combosed, so good job.

Sal Pavia is the SQUIP and photographer. Great work on both. He died really well. (spoilers, he dies twice). It was certainly a different experience with him. He sounds quite different from the originator of the roll. I think he has a lower range or his voice is just naturally lower than the other. Still great at what he does. I have no complaints. His timing was impeccable. I’m not sure if there are visual/audio cues for when he has to do his hand movements to shock Jeremy, but it was all timed really well. Then there was this part where he was spinning. He did a great job maintaining eye contact with the audience. Also, he lit up, which was awesome. Sad I might not see him with Exit 82 again.

Jason Arellano played sweet sweet Rich to which he did an amazing job. Very confident. Very small (only a few inches shorter than Matt while slouching). Very sexual. He had a little something extra to his voice that was absent in the originated role. Later when the SQUIP’s influence is gone, he speaks as if he has a retainer in his mouth. Nice touch. He wasn’t as freaked during the Halloween party, but he did some pretty crazy stuff during scenes where he wasn’t the focus. Some of it involved hitting people with his bread machete, which upon introduction, he held in a manner very true to the character. Another, which I thought was cool was this one scene, I forget which, but he was climbing through the high rise like a monster and it was just perfection in physical form.

Lisa Adams played Chloe. She’s really pretty. The people I sat with were disappointed she wasn’t a blonde, but she was really pretty. She had such a nice outfit too. It was so cute, yet mature. Not mature in a bad way, but I guess classy would be more appropriate? She played her role as gossipy queen bee so well. All of her scenes that didn’t focus on her, she had such perfect body language and looked really convincing. Only thing, she didn’t have great breath control and it was noticeable. That’s my only criticism.

Katie Clair McGrath played Brooke. It was really different than I imaged. She had these two buns in her hair and her outfits were kind of bizarre. It was out there, but still cute. She played the role of wounded puppy well. Her delivery on somethings was different, like the Eminem scene, she was not as extra. Nothing really wrong with that, I guess. She was just really different than how I envisioned, but she was still good.

Emily Nielsen played Jenna Rolan perfectly. Oh my goodness. She was perfection. In everything she did she was great. She was an orc clown, which was scary, but her other outfits were so beautiful. She was stunning. Also,her belts were fantastic. Belts as in the singing kind. Also, she had her phone out, gathering receipts(?) like Jenna would. Such great direction and such great acting. Also, Smartphone Hour? Smartphone Hour. It was sooooooo good!

Billy Cardone played Jake. Now this one was super stunning. He differed the most from expectations. However’ that’s not to say he wasn’t still a great actor. He looked like a fuckboy (sorry Billy. I mean that in a good way) which I think fits Jake way better than playboy. Also, he looked more jocky, also more appropriate. ONE MORE THING he said “extra circular” which implies stupid. Another great thing. So overall, I think his character was actually better than the originated role (of which I have no idea what happened because I never saw it, so I’m going off the way people typically depict him) and as such really speaks to Billy’s acting ability and the director since the other actors could have gone off the past performance while he had to portray this different archtype without reference. Also his strength was super impressive. He lifted Christine, which she looked light, but he maintained that lift for a long period of time.

Vinny Distefano played Jeremy’s dad, Mr. Reyes, and the bus driver. He’s scary close to the originated actor. As you can see, he did not play the stockboy. Like, he practically sounds the same, but it’s not him. He played his roles very well, but he had a NOTICEABLE BULGE WHEN NOT WEARING PANTS, but it’s not like. “HE HAS A BONER” more like, “THEY REALLY STUFFED THAT UNDERWEAR SO YOU DON’T SEE HIS DICK” and I couldn’t help, but stare. He was in the “Top 100 Most Sexy Men of Musical Theatre” after all. He climbed a ladder with just socks and I was scared. Then he ran past me with NO PANTS DURING “THE PANTS SONG” and I was scared. Again.

Carly Cosentino, Frankie Confalone, and Bridget Hughes were ensembe stars. I think Frankie played another student (he was fabulous) as well as the stockboy. Bridget played Madeline (she was tres French). I don’t remember Carly in Halloween, but I think she had the super cute punk-ish outfit with the pink hat and she also played the stockgirl (a nice addition to the play). Bridget did a lot of transitions between scenes. Carly did a lot of char taking. I’m not sure what Frankie did, but I think he played a unicorn, so that was something. 

The Production The set was pretty simple. It was a two-tiered stage: the stage and what looked like metallic scaffolding. The scaffolding served as Jeremy’s head and as such was dominated by the SQUIP for most of the production. It’s also the place where you’d most likely find the SQUIP. When the SQUIP entered, two circuit things descended from the “ceiling.” They remained there until the SQUIP was defeated. When Jeremy upgraded, two more way larger circuits appeared (which explains how he upgrades). Finally, I think during  “The Pitiful Children,” two more circuits appeared. These were just one line with a circle. The lights would shine on them, making them blue even when the set was lit by different colors. I’m not sure if they disappeared during the reprise of “More Than Survive” and descended as the SQUIP came back on stage. During “Voices In My Head” these circuits were descending as the SQUIP said his final words, ascended when Jeremy reaffirmed himself and eventually went away. Not sure if it was all three sets of circuits or if it was just the first set. I think it was all.

The stage had a moving metal-frame staircase that looked like the scaffolding. It allowed for access to the scaffolding if characters needed it. It moved a lot. On stage, off stage, most notably in the opening number and “The Pitiful Children.” It was so cool.

Set pieces that identified the room were fairly simple. Jeremy had a bed and a desk. Jeremy’s bathroom had a rolling car that acted as a sink. It had toothbrushes in a cup. The bus used yellow chairs. These chairs were reused for any classrooms. School had functional lockers and an opposite wall for sign ups. The play room had a whiteboard. A very well written whiteboard. The school bathroom had a urinal. Two beanbags for “Two Player Game.” The Payless had a counter. (There were lights in the shoe box, which I saw in the exit82theatre instagram). Mall food court had a bench with two fake trees. Very light. Jake’s house had a couch. This was later replaced by his parent’s bed and two windows descended. Bathtub in his bathroom. Two hospital beds for... the hospital... Great set design by Mike Lindenmeyer. Also, shout out to Desiree Davenport the Costume Designer. Every costume was amazing! Highlights: Jenna Roland, Chloe, Brooke, Christine, all of the SQUIP’s outfits, and everyone in “Smartphone Hour.”

Edit: OMG I’m an idiot and forgot the best part. “The Play” closed the curtains and Christine did some audience interaction. It was so cute. Then it opened up and there was this huge blue and white sparkly curtain in the middle of the stage. Table for props and a costume rack completed the set. Then, the curtain fell? The sparkly one and strings of lights came down and everyone held onto them. So goregous!

Music, Dancing, Lines So the band had a really loud trumpet player. Everything else though was great. I could see the conductor (behind the scaffolding) along with other members.

While the original cast recording has some spoken parts during singing (ex. “Because it’s the best!” in “I Love Play Rehearsal”), I believe everything was sung. Nice change. Everyone sung well. Even thought I said Lisa had bad breath control, she had a great voice. EMILY WAS AMAZING! OH MY GOODNESS I LOVED HER! Some parts were quiet, like big group scenes (”The Pitiful Children” was a big one I remember).

Some lines changed delivery. I mentioned some. Chloe was different in “Smartphone Hour.” Still fit though. Then in “The Play” the girls spoke more like they were brainwashed than excited twinsies. I’m sure there were a few others, but I can’t remember. But just because it was different, doesn’t make it terrible. Everything still felt it fit within the context of the ply and as I stated earlier, some of it was even better. It all has to do with direction, which I think Sean Openshaw did a great job with both Directing and Choreography. Lots of jumping on people. Lots of carrying people. Pretty impressive. Also, that staircase in “The Pitiful Children” was amazing.

Personal Stories I went to the Cherry Hill Mall since it’s a midpoint and I wanted to go look at stuff. I got lost in a circle, desperately trying to avoid the turnpike. There was an accident, so I was like, “Of course...” I was almost late. Made it on time. Even better, the play didn’t start until 20-30 minutes later. My goodness it was packed. I sat with a bunch of teens. They screamed a lot. Had to cover my ears. The lady in front of me also did not appreciate the screaming, but I accidentally misgendered one, so karma? I apologized and corrected myself immediately. The same person apologized for screaming a few times, so they were nice.

Post play! So there were these two teens. They were a couple(?). They were holding hands, so I’m assuming so. I saw them earlier holding hands too. I took a playbill sitting on a ledge table thing. It was the last one. I thought “Oh mine’s a little bent.” The two didn’t see me take it, but the one in the checkered shirt looked upset, so I put it back. Checkered shirt seemed really happy it magically appeared.

I was the last one to get merch. They had three shirts: Up Up Down Down Left Right A, a Midsummer Nightmare With Zombies and I L<3ve Play Rehearsal (the heart is a picture of a heart. Not less than three and it is oriented portrait style not landscape). I bought a hat with 82 on it. Last one to get merch! Also, I asked if they were going to release a cast recording. No such luck according to (I think) the Executive Producer, Keely Davenport. Oh well.

So that’s everything. I loved it. It was so great. I drove a total of about four hours (there and back) in pitch blackness and it was worth it. Oh also. I think they’re doing a production of Dear Evan Hansen next year. They did Heathers a year prior. I might go. Don’t know much about it, but I thought I’d mention it just in case anyone wanted to go.

[beingmyownhxro]

tagged by: @alexdanvers-rp​, thank you! ^-^ tagging: @leadershiipskills​ / @fossilis​​, @marsdin​, @i-am-diana-of-themyscira​, @emblemofxfeminism​, and anyone else who wants to~ RULES:  answer the questions & tag some blogs you wanna get to know better !

A  -  AGE:  22 B  -  BIRTHPLACE:   US C  -  CURRENT TIME:  1:04am D  -  DRINK YOU HAD LAST:  pepsi E  -  EASIEST PERSON ( OR PEOPLE ) TO TALK TO:  offline i don’t really have a “can tell them anything” person at this time. online there are and ofc here’s where i get super duper shy since they’ll actually see this. but I have a really easy time talking to ashleigh, elysian, ren, sam, robin, and val. i really love this rp community everyone is so nice ; w; F  -  FAVORITE SONG:  i’m having trouble deciding, but i think i’m gonna go with demi lovato’s “let it go.” (the other contenders are idina menzel’s “let it go” and “libérée, délivrée” [movie version] by anaïs delva YES THAT’S LET IT GO IN FRENCH DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT) G  -  GROSSEST MEMORY:  it’s really fricking gross so i’m gonna put it under a cut at the end to save those of you who understandably do not want to see it. it’s from when i was working in the care field and involves a lot of feces. H  -  HORROR YES OR HORROR NO:  horror no. I  -    IN LOVE?:  does my crush on katie mcgrath count lol J  -  JEALOUS OF PEOPLE:  occasionally i get a little bit jealous of my sister, who’s always gotten really spoiled since she’s the baby. sometimes she gets jealous of me too since i’ve always been given more independence, so it’s just normal sibling stuff. K  -  KILLED SOMEONE:  do bugs count L  -  LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT OR SHOULD I WALK BACK BY AGAIN?: i think you can get a crush on someone right away, but i don’t think it’s LOVE when you know nothing about them. M  -  MIDDLE NAME:  rose N  -  NUMBER OF SIBLINGS:  1 O  -  ONE WISH:  i really really really wanna be a good therapist. P  -  PERSON YOU CALLED LAST:  my mom Q  -  QUESTION YOU’RE ALWAYS ASKED:  it’s not exactly one consistent question, but people regularly mistake me for 14. like when i ask about jobs in person and the person tells me i need to be at least 16 to work there. or when i saw atomic blonde yesterday (r-rated so 17+) and the ticket cashier looked skeptically at my ID for like a solid minute searching for signs that it was fake. and i say 14 specifically because i’ve been told multiple times “you look like you’re 14″ or had my coworkers asked “is she old enough to work here she looks 14.” R  -  REASON TO SMILE:  lena and my awesome threads and friends on here. :> S  -  SONG YOU SANG LAST:  “happy” by marina and the diamonds T  -  TOP 3 FICTIONAL CHARACTERS:  elsa from frozen, lena luthor, and maria torres from trama team U  -  UNDERWEAR COLOR:  ummm white with pandas on it V  -  VACATION:  my trip there was a research project more than a vacation (though i still got to do tons of fun stuff), so i hope someday i can go back to japan as a proper vacation. and i wanna go to disney world sometime. definitely disney world. W -  WHEN’S YOUR BIRTHDAY:  december 17 X  -  XRAYS:  i got a ct scan a few years ago as they were trying to figure out what was causing the sudden horrid pain in my side/back. that was “fun.” it wasn’t anything serious though. (though i had 3 separate men ask me if i was sure it wasn’t period cramps like jfc) Y  -  YOUR FAVORITE FOOD:  it’s a family recipe so nobody’s gonna know what i’m talking about lol. i guess the closest thing to it would be lasagna. it’s made in a casserole dish, and the top layer is ground beef mixed with tomato sauce, then cream cheese + sour cream + cottage cheese + green onion mixed, then egg noodles on the bottom, put in the oven for an hour at 350 F. but we almost never have it because there are so many steps and it makes so many dishes to wash. Z  -  ZODIAC SIGN:  sagittarius

okay my grossest story under the cut, as promised. you’ve been warned.

so this was at my old job, like i said. it involves one of the residents, who was occasionally incontinent (both types -- but it normally wasn’t an issue as she wore adult diapers) to begin with, getting a stomach bug and having diarrhea. she was also blind, so while she was mobile, she wasn’t able to see to clean things up. and her developmental disability was such that she didn’t have a very clear understanding of a lot of things. so you can already guess how fun this day was.

it started off with me doing all her laundry and cleaning the carpet of her bedroom. which wasn’t that bad. but then my coworker, who didn’t clean a single thing in that entire time, decided that this woman really needed to take a bath.           now, quick context. this woman, as i said, was incontinent sometimes to begin with. there had been an incident a couple of weeks ago where as she was taking a bath -- which she can do unassisted except for washing her hair (which she could probably do except she won’t, but she lets us) -- she had a bowel accident during her bath. and proceeded to continue with the bath as though nothing had happened. that wasn’t during one of my shifts so i don’t know why, but yeah, so that happened.          i told my coworker that it was a bad idea -- i thought we were going to have an even more horrid repeat of that incident. she said that no, the woman needed a bath, and i said, more emphatically, “if she tries to take a bath, she’s probably going to have an accident.” the woman tended to take long baths and on this day was having diarrhea bowel movements pretty often. my coworker insisted it would be fine and the woman really needed a bath. now the thing is, someone like my coworker or i could easily get out of the bath and to the toilet if that were us. but it was hard for the woman to get in and out of the tub and to find the toilet to begin with, and add to that the other factors......

sure enough, some time later i hear the woman calling for me from the bathroom. now, thank god she didn’t have an accident while she was in the tub, but she had one as soon as she got out. she felt super bad about it but obviously it wasn’t like she could help it. she said she needed help to get out of the bathroom because she didn’t want to step in it. so i helped her out and to her room and to get dressed, gave her some water, and she went back to sleep. the bathroom was shared with another woman, so i let that woman know that i needed to clean the bathroom and it might take a while so if she needed to use the bathroom she should use the other one. with that, i grabbed a roll of paper towel and cleaning supplies (incl rubber gloves obviously, and a trash bag) and went to see the extent of the damage and get cleaning. to be clear, my coworker did not help me at all. or even offer to help. or even bring me more paper towel when i asked mid-cleaning.

IT WAS HORRIBLE. the next paragraph will continue with the story, so stop reading this paragraph if you don’t want the details. for starters, it was more yellow than brown. actually it was roughly the color of puke. i have somewhat of a phobia of puke, so that was super fun. it was also liquid. i mean LIQUID. it clearly had fallen where she had been standing and splattered into an enormous puddle. virtually the entire surface of the floor was covered. it was on the cupboard under the sink. it was on the bathtub. it was on the wall. it was on the toilet paper. it was on the toilet seat. utterly nightmarish.

but the cleaning needed to be done. i put on some music from my phone -- normally my coworker plays her stuff on the radio and i don’t play my own stuff, but i was like, y’know what i’m cleaning this up by myself she can deal with my demi lovato playlist -- didn’t breathe through my nose, and tried not to think about it too much. i just held on to the fact that i was doing this to help the residents who depended on me and the other staff to take care of them, and hey at least it wasn’t vomit.

i’m a fast worker, especially at cleaning. it took me two hours.

bonus points that the other residents kept like asking me stuff and trying to talk to me while i was doing that cleaning??? which is fine normally -- they’re the first priority, so if i’m doing the dishes or something else that can wait, i didn’t mind pausing to talk to them; some of them have trouble understanding that if we’re in the middle of something and can’t talk at that time, we’re not ignoring them, so i tried to make the time when i could. but uh, this was a special set of circumstances. now you’d think my coworker could’ve handled those things, but no, she was busy playing candy crush or something on her phone.

the real kicker is that after i got done, my coworker left early for no reason (not for the first time) and had left everything from dinner on the table and counters, and told me like 5 other things that needed to be done by the end of my shift. i spent the time between then and my next shift trying to convince myself not to quit until i found a new job -- i’d already been looking for new jobs anyway. but guess what? my supervisor was there and chewed me out because my coworker told her that I made HER do all the work. because my coworker had to make dinner by herself. i hadn’t been going to tattle to our supervisor but since my coworker did that i flat out told my supervisor that she had made dinner alone because i was spending two hours cleaning up diarrhea in the bathroom by myself, and that every single bit of the diarrhea messes all shift i had cleaned up by myself with no help from my coworker.

my supervisor didn’t care and continued to scold me. i handed in my two weeks’ notice the next day. that was too much.

yes, i’m still hella pissed about that.

[aheartofwood]

the king arthur movie is SO BAD, guys.

imagine a baby and a kitten got together and tried to edit a movie with only the vaguest idea of arthurian legend based on the backs of the VHS of the disney version and also the lion king for some reason, and also the barest idea of how human brains can accept and understand editing and narrative. imagine a pretty good video game opening for 2001, but watched thru the haze of a really strenuous flu and it’s rented and ancient and was chewed up by at least two dogs so it’s glitching a lot. imagine a knight’s tale……………Reimagined™ (needlessly) by a team of randos who only speak italian and their ideas are being translated by jen from the IT crowd in that one episode where she pretends she can speak italian. imagine a movie with a budget of four dollars (except the budget was HUGE). imagine an opium dream within a dream of robert downey jr’s 2009 sherlock holmes where jude law becomes a boring, leathery king who has a bad habit of constantly sacrificing the silent women he supposedly loves to an undulating pile of lovecraftian horror water ladies that live in his shame toilet in his penis tower basement ONLY to super saiyan into a really bad DnD dude with a motorcycle-insignia-metal skull head and the torso of two The Rocks smashed together (sorry, The Rock) instead of (a much better) watson. imagine eragon, but somehow exceedingly, fremdschamenly, schadenfreudingly worse. not many things get both german expressions, in a gleefully terrible adverb form at that, but this movie——oh, THIS movie——-deserves them. 

the letters of the opening credits roll (or creep?) across the screen. the kerning is bad. all the T’s have a phallic, buffylike, sword motif going on and it renders the names unreadable. the colors and the blurry shots look like something out of monty python. again, who hired this editor? who watched this movie, kissed their fingertips like an italian grandma, and gently set this eldritch horror adrift on the tides of eternity to be received with fear and loathing by millions of human eyes? the elephants from lord of the rings attack the bridge from legend of zelda, and that red flamey eye guy from eragon (mordred, for some reason, in a shake n bake wig) ?? or possibly from inkheart?? is defeated. remember, we know nothing about these characters. feel nothing for them. and the trend continues. katie mcgrath appears, of course, in her standard and splendid emerald green, and then immediately dies. none of the shots in the first 20 minutes of the movie match up, we go from scenes with several people to ultra close ups of faces—-it’s like the “mmmm whatcha say” SNL skit, but serious. the movie continues to not know if it’s playing itself seriously or if it knows how bad it truly is (how bad me be?)

finally we get ONE establishing shot of a sweeping wall (maybe? the camera never stays still enough to tell) and the audience (five people) grounds ourselves, sort of. we get a whip-fast, but not whip-smart, super evolution of arthur’s childhood, in which he shoves coins into a wall (see kids!!! if u just put YR COINS IN YR WALLS instead of BUYING GODDAMN AVOCADOS, U COULD HAVE A CASTLE!!!!) and hearkens back to his character in pacific rim, bc he’s just a scrappy, vaguely appropriative white guy that loves 2 fight stuff. oh, his mom is killed when he’s young ofc. charlie hunnam eventually fucks off to the island w the sword in the sort-of stone (none of the physics makes sense in this movie?? the sword in the stone dropped into a lake, but is now in a chasm on a different island which shows no sign of the ruins of arthur’s childhood town?? in the final fight scene, charlie hunnam is several floors up from scythe-y jude law, but then suddenly they’re fighting on the top of saruman’s tower  scuse me at the whipping sea-level, then suddenly BACK IN THE TOWER bc i guess it wasn’t destroyed????? bc then it gets destroyed again??) of course, charlie hunnam is the One Man who can Grip the penis sword, even though in an interesting turn of events, They are Testing Everyone by shipping them in boats to the island (this seems like an egregious waste of resources). charlie hunnam got in this unfortch sitch bc i forgot, but the guy who put him on the boat chuckled darkly and said he was “”””getting on a different boat””””, but like, doesn’t everyone end up there?? it had the air of the DMV, on purpose, so why was this a threat? how did he avoid it for so long? are there that many people in the kingdom??? also, if i was him i’d straight up pretend i couldn’t lift it tbh and come back for it when They were getting donuts. oh, another inkheart thing—the BLONDE MOM SURVIVES (!!!??? somehow???? unexplained? she had a HOLE THRU HER BODY??) and maybe has memory loss or something and spends her days being somehow indispensable to jude law despite doing nothing but moving a plate. 

i cannot explain the rest of the plot, because i do not understand it. charlie hunnam just EXPERIENCES things with a world-weary, almost kingly worldliness, despite flashing in between being an innocent farm boy who doesn’t wanna do anything and a self-assured wisecracking hustler. there are some good jokes about boring white dude names in a medieval setting, and no more humor forever is allowed in this movie or any movies ever again. a chris parnell lookalike with a hat says he can shoot 75 yards but not 175, then shoots 175 with absolutely no introduction/buildup/continuance/jokes and spends the rest of the film as robin hood. there are some other dudes?????? more women (the brothel ladies that rescue arthur from the river ((not unlike….the prince of egypt…..)) are killed to further manpain, including lucy, who is Special for an unexplained reason. jude law murders his daughter (i guess???), who has a russian name and a tendency to sit around and stroke birds and stare sappily out the window (i feel u, johanna). everyone is wearing medieval versions of suits. there are many iterations of snake, ranging from economy-sized snake to a Giant Fuckmaster Snake Mother. at least five cloaks are cast off. eric bana becomes a literal rock. everything has the vague, shuddering feeling of an improv show where everyone wants the final word/bit. there is grit, there is dirt, there is snake blood, and there is clanking. so much clanking. charlie hunnam is bravely hurling one-liners but no one is listening. what is the sound of only one hand on excalibur???? apparently not as powerful as…………T W O hands on excalibur. 

the editing continues to be bizarre. they keep trying to do the inception thing where they talk about the plan while showing the plan, therefore (in inception, correctly) allowing us to get to the good parts, but there ARE NO GOOD PARTS or even parts at all and they don’t fully commit to the dang method anyway. the shining light of the film, an unnamed mage woman with good bone structure and sweet harem pants (and who COULD have at least been set up as morwen but was not) who can possess animals and also make a lot of dust fly around behind her, becomes charlie hunnam’s spiritual guide?? sort of?? maybe love interest??? she seems to have no interest in him or inhabiting the worldly narrative/plane of this movie. i do not blame her. anyway, she’s got the eagles from LOTR on her side. she dopes the shit out of charlie hunnam (again, why) with a literal snake and he solves his daddy/uncle issues (line @ jude law: “”””you created me”””””) in an incomprehensible nonlinear part of the narrative (she was captured, but i guess jude law let her go before hunnam got to the castle???? bc he’s Not So Bad After All? bc he was bored? eating a sandwich? fuck idk so she could have met him in the middle of fuck knows? i mean if they have medieval lyft or medieval twitter DMing or something??)  also, he may or may not have gone to a ””””””DARK””””””””island, but he did NOT solve his daddy issues there. he did, however, fight some rodents of unusual size from the princess bride. 

ok that is all the energy i have; this movie has sapped me, i am nothing in the great maw of its terribleness. other stuff happens. we have a happy ending, with 4/6ths of the Round Table built (literally and figuratively), and some Vikings conceding to charlie hunnam for no other reason than he’s a bro, i guess. line: how do u scam money out of a viking? u talk to them. SEE MILLENNIALS ALL U HAVE TO DO IS TALK AND PPL GIVE U MONEY or be born the true heir to the throne of (fake england). 

the worst part is that i don’t understand how jude law, who is 44, looks the same the entire movie and watches as charlie hunnam, who is 37, grows up and eventually challenges him. eric bana, who is 48, doubtlessly had fictional charlie hunnam arthur at like 27-35, making jude law the same age in that fiction. i guess men can just ???? play any age????????? forever??????? honorable mentions: the soundtrack, jude law’s eyeshadow, and the preview for atomic blonde. 

[pastelroses]

Here you go @pxrasayo (sorry it's a few days late babe) 1. Who was the last person you held hands with? @pxrasayo 2. Are you outgoing or shy? It depends how I'm feeling really, if I'm really happy and excited I can talk to anyone but most of the time I'm quite nervous 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My dog, my mum and my gf 4. Are you easy to get along with? I'm pretty sure I am, yeah 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? "If you drink I'll probably leave"-my gf about prom 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? I'm attracted to passionate people, often with interesting stories or views 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I'll be in the same relationship two months from now 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Nobodyyy 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Depends who it's with tbh 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My group chat I think 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? 'Two days ago' 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? •I Adore U-Adore Delano •Loved Like This-Tatiana Manaois •Strangers-Halsey ft Lauren Jauregui •I Have Questions/Crying In The Club-Camila Cabello •I Was Made For Loving You-Tori Kelly ft Ed Sheeran 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? I love it when my gf does 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? I'm not sure 15. What good thing happened this summer? The last summer I had I learned a lot about life and myself 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Definitely 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Yeah 18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Nopeeee 19. Do you like bubble baths? Yeah 20. Do you like your neighbors? We only talk to one but he's lovely 21. What are your bad habits? I overthink a lot and I'm so sensitive and passionate about certain issues 22. Where would you like to travel? Everywhereeee-I wanna visit Philippines 23. Do you have trust issues? Idk I don't think so 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Calling my gf at night 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Idk I don't like most of it tbh?? But probably my stomach or legs 26. What do you do when you wake up? I usually get ready and text my gf good morning 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Neither 28. Who are you most comfortable around? Robyn, Lue, Jean 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Not directly but it has been hinted 30. Do you ever want to get married? I would only get married if my gf wanted to, because I'm not religious and I don't see the point in marriage unless at least one of the people getting married is religious 31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yeah 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Adore Delano and Lauren Jauregui (sorry babe) 33. Spell your name with your chin. Aht 34. Do you play sports? What sports? Nope 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? I don't think so actually?? I'm pretty open with feelings 37. What do you say during awkward silences? I'm just silent tbh 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? @pxrasayo 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? The Disney Store 40. What do you want to do after high school? I wanna go to uni for psychology and travel a lot 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Depends what they did 42. If you're being extremely quiet what does it mean? I'm thinking too much probably, or I'm distracted 43. Do you smile at strangers? Yeah 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Spaceeee 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? My dog ahaha 46. What are you paranoid about? Like everything, I'm most scared of my relationship ending badly though 47. Have you ever been high? Nope 48. Have you ever been drunk? Yeahhh 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Nope 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Black 51. Ever wished you were someone else? I've wanted to be Lauren Jauregui a couple times 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? Idk I kinda wish I could change how anxious I get 53. Favourite makeup brand? I don't have one 54. Favourite store? X 55. Favourite blog? Don't really have one I guess just whichever blogs I reblog from most 56. Favourite colour? Blue 57. Favourite food? Idk?? Spicy noodle soup is great 58. Last thing you ate? I don't remember 59. First thing you ate this morning? I haven't eaten today 60. Ever won a competition? For what? I've won a spelling competition and a writing competition 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Nope 62. Been arrested? For what? Nope 63. Ever been in love? I am rn 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? My first kiss was with Charlie because he was trying to kiss everyone at the party and after he kissed me he felt bad because he took my first kiss ahahah 65. Are you hungry right now? Nope 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I love and trust @watduidu a lot more than some of my irl friends 67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook 68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr 69. Are you watching tv right now? Nope 70. Names of your bestfriends? Robyn, Lue, Jean 71. Craving something? What? Tea 72. What colour are your towels? Idk loads of different colours 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yeahhh I do 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? Like 30?? Maybe more idk 75. Favourite animal? Foxxxx 76. What colour is your underwear? Black 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Chocolate fudge brownie 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? White 80. What colour pants? Black 81. Favourite tv show? The 100 even though it's a piece of crap 82. Favourite movie? Moana, Les Mis, HTTYD, Ghostbusters 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean Girls 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean Girls 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Janice?? Is that her name 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Dory 87. First person you talked to today? Robyn 88. Last person you talked to today? It'll probably be my gf 89. Name a person you hate? Lol no 90. Name a person you love? My gf 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Trump 92. In a fight with someone? Nah 93. How many sweatpants do you have? Idk?? 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Like 10 but only 2 are actually mine 95. Last movie you watched? Beauty & The Beast 96. Favourite actress? Emma Watson or Katie McGrath 97. Favourite actor? Idk?? I like Ricky Whittle 98. Do you tan a lot? I don't tan or burn 99. Have any pets? Two dogs, Max and Woody 100. How are you feeling? Pretty ill 101. Do you type fast? Yeah I guess 102. Do you regret anything from your past? Nah 103. Can you spell well? Yeah 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Nah not anymore 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yeah 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? I don't think so?? Maybe 107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yeahhh 108. What should you be doing? Revising 109. Is something irritating you right now? How ill I feel 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yeaaaah I do rn 111. Do you have trust issues? X 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Ummm my whole family whilst watching A Dog's Purpose 113. What was your childhood nickname? Ning-Ning/Spud/AJ 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yeah? 115. Do you play the Wii? I used to but it's broken now 116. Are you listening to music right now? The radio yes 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Yeah I guess 118. Do you like Chinese food? Yeahhh 119. Favourite book? Because You'll Never Meet Me 120. Are you afraid of the dark? Yeah a lil 121. Are you mean? I don't think so?? I can be a lil mean if someone fucks with my best friends tho 122. Is cheating ever okay? No 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Probably not 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? I think you can know that someone is gonna be important to you at first sight but not necessarily love 125. Do you believe in true love? Yeah 126. Are you currently bored? A lil 127. What makes you happy? My friends, my gf, my dog, my family 128. Would you change your name? Nah 129. What your zodiac sign? Taurus 130. Do you like subway? Yeah 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Just keep being friends 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? X 133. Favourite lyrics right now? 'My name was safest in your mouth' 134. Can you count to one million? Probably but I cba 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? Probably something about alcohol like 'I don't drink' 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed 137. How tall are you? Like 5 foot 138. Curly or Straight hair? Curly 139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette 140. Summer or Winter? I like both?? Probably winter though 141. Night or Day? Night 142. Favourite month? October 143. Are you a vegetarian? Ya 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Milk 145. Tea or Coffee? Tea 146. Was today a good day? Not particularly 147. Mars or Snickers? Snickers 148. What’s your favourite quote? 'Sunrise will come. All you have to do is wake up.' 149. Do you believe in ghosts? Nah 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? I'm in a car so I don't have oneeeee

[kassebaum]

Another Supercorp prompt from the wifey - Lena in a suit! Lena and Kara are not a couple, but obviously like each other. Kara attends a gala Lena is hosting and they end up dancing. Lena knows Kara is Supergirl. Based on the pics of the beautiful Katie Mcgrath in a suit :) ------------------------------------------------ Damn… Lena’ Maggie whistled, leaning back on the bar and taking in Lena’s attire. Lena blushed and ran her hands self-consciously down her suit trousers as she walked towards Maggie. Her black jacket was open and she had draped an untied bowtie round the collar of her shirt. ‘You’re not too bad yourself’ Lena grinned, and reached out a hand to bat the red tie Maggie was wearing. ‘Honestly Lena, this gala is amazing!’ Maggie exclaimed looking around the ballroom; lanterns were hanging from the ceiling and a small band played on stage while waiters wandered through the guests with trays of champagne and canapés. 'Thanks Maggie, but I can’t take all the credit. You’re the one who convinced the NCPD to work with L.Corp’ Lena smiled. 'This charity is so close to my heart; to be able to help and give…' Lena stopped talking mid-sentence, distracted by something… or someone… Maggie turned to look in the same direction as Lena, wondering what could have distracted the CEO. She saw Alex wearing a beautiful deep red evening dress with a slit up the side that made Maggie’s stomach flip. Whilst Maggie was aware that her girlfriend was ridiculously beautiful, she was pretty sure it wasn’t Alex that Lena was staring at. Sure enough, Alex moved to the side and Kara moved into Maggie’s line of sight. Maggie couldn’t help but chuckle. 'Put your tongue back in your mouth Luthor’ Maggie teased, nudging Lena’s arm with her elbow. 'You finally guna pluck up the courage to ask Little Danvers out?’ Lena didn’t reply, she was too engrossed looking at the blonde who was wearing a figure hugging, backless, midnight blue dress. She finally registered Maggie had been talking to her and turned. 'Pffft’ was the only retort her brain could manage. 'Nice comeback genius’ Maggie laughed. 'I don’t know what you’re talking about…’ Lena finally managed to get out. Maggie raised an eyebrow. 'Kara and I are just friends!’ Lena insisted. Maggie rolled her eyes 'Yeah yeah, and me and Alex are just galpals…’ Maggie laughed as Lena slapped her on the arm. Her eyes lighting up even more as Alex waved and headed over with Kara in tow. 'Hey babe’ Maggie grinned and walked to rest of the distance to Alex. She stretched up to place a kiss on Alex’s lips. Kara passed her sister and girlfriend; she only had eyes for the CEO at the bar, butterflies having taken up residence in her stomach upon spotting Lena in a suit. 'Wow… Lena, you look amazing!’ Kara gushed upon reaching the bar. Lena blushed. 'You look stunning Kara’ Lena smiled and handed Kara a glass of champagne. 'Thank you’ the Kryptonian replied taking the glass, 'I like this…’ Kara mused, running the loose bow tie between her fingers. Lena bit her lip, wondering if Kara had any idea of the effect she had on her. A waiter with a tray of canapés walked up to the two of them and Lena saw Kara’s attention switch immediately to the food, she could almost see the blonde’s mouth watering. 'Just leave the tray’ Lena chuckled. 'Yes Ms. Luthor’ the waiter replied with a small smile, setting the tray onto the bar and heading back to the kitchen. 'Oh golly, Lena these are amazing!’ Kara said through a mouthful of potstickers. As Kara turned to tray to decide what to eat next, Lena spotted Maggie pointing at Kara. ’Do it…’ Maggie mouthed. 'Ask her to dance.’ Maggie danced next to Alex, just to make her point clear. Lena took a deep breath, it’s now or never she told herself, and cleared her throat to get Kara’s attention. 'Umm, Kara, would you like to dance?’ Lena questioned nervously, her eyes hopeful. 'Yes!’ Kara squeaked and took Lena’s had, practically dragging her onto the dance floor. Lena heard Maggie chuckle as Kara pulled her past. Upon reaching the dance floor, Lena realised the band had moved from their more up beat numbers to a slower song. A waltz, Lena smiled. Kara was unperturbed by the change in tempo and placed her arms round Lena’s neck; Lena swiftly noted that the butterflies in her stomach had recruited friends. At a loss of what to do with her arms, Lena linked them round the small of Kara’s back, closing the gap between them. They swayed together silently, just looking into each other’s eyes, neither of them making a move. A few bars later, Lena noticed they had actually travelled part way down the dance floor and realised subconsciously she had been dancing a basic waltz; she also realised Kara had been following! A small smirk crossed Lena’s lips as she slowly slid her arms up Kara’s sides, noticing the way she shivered, until her right hand was over Kara’s shoulder blade, her left hand sliding into Kara’s right. As Lena raised her right arm, Kara let her left arm slip down; smiling at the realisation that Lena was placing them both into a ballroom hold. Without saying anything, Lena started dancing a basic waltz; smiling as Kara effortlessly followed her natural and reverse turns. 'So where did you learn to dance?’ Lena questioned, continuing the same pattern of steps. 'My parents taught me; back on Krypton’ Kara replied with a sad smile, 'I love dancing and continued to learn when I came to Earth. What about you?’ 'I learnt at boarding school’ Lena supplied. 'Mother always said it was only proper for young ladies to know how to dance’ Lena said rolling her eyes, 'I don’t think me learning to lead in order to dance with the other girls in the dorm room was quite what she had in mind though!’ Lena chuckled. Kara laughed, making Lena’s stomach flip. Feeling braver than she had in months, Lena started throwing in different figures, Kara following perfectly ever time. Neither of them noticed the floor slowly clearing as a crowd gathered to watch; they only had eyes for each other. Lena led a fallaway reverse and slip pivot, coming out into a hesitation. A few steps later she carefully led Kara into a contra check, the applause of the surrounding crowd bringing the pair of them out of the bubble they had been contained in. 'We seem to have an audience…’ Lena observed, 'you ready for a big finish?’ Kara smiled and nodded. Lena pulled Kara back upright, before sending them spinning round the floor. She threw in some pivots, always a crowd pleaser she thought, and smiled as their admirers cheered. She finished with a simple weave before spinning Kara out under her arm. The audience erupted into applause and Lena smiled, all the while looking at Kara. She gently pulled Kara back towards her and lowered her into a dip. The sound of the band and the cheering audience softly tuned out; Lena could only hear her pulse, deafeningly loud in her ears. Her lips were inches from Kara’s and she could see the rise and fall of Kara’s chest; whether it was from dancing or the position she found herself in, Lena wasn’t sure. She watched as Kara’s eyes darted down to her lips. Lena was sure there was no way she could be misreading the signs… The crowd was forgotten as blue eyes stared intensely into green, Lena closed the gap between them suddenly, pressing her lips to Kara’s. Kara froze for a moment, but as she felt Lena pulling back, she placed her left hand onto Lena’s neck to keep her in place. She ran her tongue over Lena’s lip, seeking permission to deepen the kiss. The sound of whooping and catcalls filled the air and Lena suddenly remembered that they were in the middle of the dance floor at a gala, a gala she was hosting. Blushing profusely, Lena once again pulled Kara upright. She took a step to the side and gestured towards Kara, who bobbed into a shy curtsy. As the crowd continued their applause, shouts for 'more’ and 'encore’ were heard. Lena just laughed and took Kara’s hand to head off the dance floor, as they walked off and the band began their next song, Lena heard a certain detective shouting louder than the rest… ‘Just friends my arse!’

[alleiradayne]

Bang Your Head (Cullen x F!Trevelyan Modern AU) Part 59

Catch up on the previous part - part 58 | ao3 Start from the beginning - part 1 | ao3

Dinner before the show. (LET’S TRY THIS AGAIN, TUMBLR!)

Note: I’m playing with multiple points of view here, it’s experimental. I apologize if it’s confusing, it was something I wanted to try. And fair warning, this is a really long part.

Ornate Tevinter architecture soared high overhead, dark corners of the ceiling untouched by the orange glow of the sconces surrounding the room. Olive and brown and bronze reflected the candle light, casting an eerie glow about the restaurant. A host approached them, asking for their invitations with an outstretched hand, gold cufflinks sparkling. Alistair handed over a card, and with the invitation confirmed, the host greeted them and asked that they wait a moment for their table.

“Sia, darling,” he stated, “I asked you a question.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled as she turned to him. “What did you say?”

His massive hand squeezed her waist as he pulled her close. “Do they know we’re here?”

She shook her head as she spoke. “I wanted to surprise Mal. And I didn’t want Cullen to worry or put extra detail on us tonight. The place is crawling with security, given the cast and crew. I think we’ll be fine.”

Alistair laughed his signature chuckle. “Oh, you know the man, he’ll be fraught with worry the moment he spots us.”

“I figured as much,” she commented as the host returned and led them to the rear of the restaurant. He motioned them past and Amodisia stepped over the threshold of a curtained doorway into the dim private dining room, taking great care to lift the hem of her dress. Heavy purple silk hugged her curves, the material clinging, showing off her figure. Bare shoulders and a plunging neckline showed off ample cleavage, much to Alistair’s delight.

“Why did I let you convince me to wear this infernal thing?” she hissed as other invitees of the premiere eyed her from head to toe.

“Because I like it and you love me,” Alistair muttered under his breath as the host showed them to their table. “Or at least, you do a good enough job of pretending to love me, sometimes I can’t tell if you really do or you just like the way I look on your arm,” he jested as he offered his arm.

Amodisia giggled her girlish laugh as her hand slipped beneath his elbow. “Yes, Alistair, you are my trophy husband and arm candy,” she retorted as they followed their host, arriving at a table with a plain view of the entry. Their surrounding guests paid them little mind, and not a single face struck her as memorable. A little sigh of relief breathed between pursed lips as she smoothed her dress over her thighs.

“When will they be here?” Alistair asked as he lifted his menu.

Amodisia followed suit, picking up her menu and speaking. “I’m not sure, it might be …”

“Might be when, dear?” Alistair asked, not looking up.

Words eluded her, evasive and fleeting as she stared at the older man and younger woman entering the room and striding after their host.

“Did you know the Mac Tirs would be here?” she blurted.

“What?”

Terror filled the pit of her stomach at his response, the implied threat ominous.  Golden eyes peered over the edge of his menu to glare daggers across the dining room as Loghain and Anora took their seats at the main table on the far edge of the room.

“Alistair, what is the matter?” she asked. “Why are we not sitting with the Mac Tirs?”

Those golden eyes regarded her, not with pity or disdain or anger, but something else. Something powerful, akin to remorse but not quite, and Amodisia regretted asking the question. When she opened her mouth to speak, Alistair found his words and spoke before she could form her thought.

“I didn’t know they would be here as well,” he muttered into his menu, eyes scanning, unfocused.

“Ali,” she whispered and a tentative hand reached out to touch his. “What’s going on?”

With a wry smile, Alistair said, “We’ll talk about it later, after the premiere.”

Resigned, Amodisia nodded and returned to her menu, but between her shoulders itched an unrelenting, sneaking suspicion with which she was all too familiar.

Cullen stood in the entry of her apartment, waiting, coat unbuttoned and hands in his pockets. Commander sat at his side, and when Cullen considered the giant beast, the dog returned his appraisal with a stare of judgment all his own. Abashed, Cullen gave him a scratch behind the ears, the Mabari’s mouth lolled open, tongue hanging out, and he groaned with delight.

Fast and sharp clicks of heels on wood echoed down the hallway, preceding her arrival. A swirl of deep red chiffon fluttered around the corner as a heeled foot strode the last step into the entryway and Amallia appeared. She paused at her coat as she placed her earrings in her ears, then attempted to clasp a necklace behind her neck.

Cullen gawked. He had day dreamed the remainder of that day, wondering about her choice of dress. Did she prefer modesty, with high collars and sleeves? Or more revealing, with ethereal fabric? He imagined no longer, for the answer stood before him, and he stared without reservation.

A layer of deep red chiffon sculpted her torso with the scandalous, plunging neckline of her bodice. More chiffon, thin and sheer, covered her shoulders and the bodice to create an illusion of modesty. Cinching at the waist, the sheer overlay hugged her frame, flowing over her hips and falling to the floor.

She took a half step, still struggling with her necklace, and her left leg parted the fabric of her skirt. The shocking length of pale white against the ruby red fabric set his heart racing, and Cullen took in every inch, from the crook of her hip to her strapped heels. Glittering black straps wrapped around her toes, Orlesian pedicure applied to the nails with a practiced hand.

He wanted nothing more than to stare at her all night, but then she cursed in frustration, reality returning in a rush.

“Fucking … thing!” she hissed.

Cullen spotted the necklace in her hands and he stepped forward with a swift stride. He took the delicate golden chain from her hands and motioned for her to turn.

“Thank you,” she murmured as he lifted the chain over her head and up to her neck.

“You’re welcome,” he whispered in her ear as she lifted her hair and he clasped the chain with ease. Fingers lingered along her collar bone, drifting along to her shoulders. A brush of his lips along her jaw drew a gasp from her chest, heart thrumming in time with his own.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Not if you keep that up,” she said and he heard the coy smile on her lips.

From the rack, he retrieved her coat and helped her into it. “But I like it,” he whispered once more as he withdrew her hair from her coat, fingertips brushing along her neck.

She breathed another sigh, part indignation, part arousal. “And you know I enjoy your touch, but I swear to the Maker, Mr. Rutherford, if you mess up my hair or my makeup, I will end you.”

He laughed a belly laugh as he parted from her, hands held up in defense. “Alright, I’ll keep my hands to myself – for now.”

She grinned over her shoulder as she agreed.

“For now.”

“Alistair, look!”

His head snapped to his left as the curtained doorway parted and admitted a tall blonde man, his presence commanding attention. A trim grey tux and black shoes made up his ensemble, complete with glimmering silver watch on his right wrist and purple pocket square over his left breast. He paused there, seeming to wait as he scanned the intimate setting of the private dining room.

“It’s him!” she hissed, star struck and shaking Alistair by the arm as she grasped him. “The Commander!” she whispered with excitement.

He could hardly blame his wife. Rick Cosnett was easy to look at, warm smile and bright eyes far too charming. And yet Alistair could not resist the temptation to tease her a bit. “You just like him because he looks like Cullen.”

She gasped, feigning offense. “I do not,” she protested. “Besides, you’re no better.” Amodisia gestured with a nod of her head as the curtain pulled back once more.

A dark-haired woman passed through the doorway to stand beside her co-star, as tall as he and grinning to match his smirk. Dark hair curled and tumbling over one shoulder and she also wore purple, but her dress was a sheath of lace. A deep neckline and full sleeves contrasted for the perfect balance as Katie McGrath surveyed the room.

Mr. Cosnett held out his arm and she took it with a delicate hand, shoulders pulled back and chin held high, like the regal couple they portrayed on screen.

And then Ms. McGrath laughed, a boisterous sound that filled the room and drew attention. Mr. Cosnett failed to restrain his own obnoxious laughter as she withdrew her hand from his arm and wrapped it around his shoulder, her co-star following suit. Together, they shuffled through the dining room, and Ms. McGrath waved a quick roll of her fingers, mouthing a surprised hello to the Theirins as she passed.

“Sia, be a doll and fetch me my feinting couch? I may not make it through the night,” Alistair breathed a sigh of longing, exaggerating his infatuation to annoy her, though the attempt failed.

“If that means I get to have them all to myself, I’ll gladly get you your feinting couch,” she jested.

“Touché.”

“Thank you for driving us, Ash,” Amallia commented as they arrived at the restaurant. The woman behind the wheel nodded with a smile in the review mirror as she put the gear in neutral and pulled the hand break. A crowd of reporters and paparazzi closed in for their photos and questions. Too many people, too many variables. It was a logistics nightmare.

“Maker’s breath, why did I agree to this?” Cullen hissed.

“Because I need you?” Amallia muttered as she grasped his hand. “I don’t think I could do this on my own.”

Before he put his foot in his mouth, Cullen bit back his thought. She needed him. He doubted that. But the terror in her eyes told him a different story. Strange, he thought. She was fearless on stage but a few reporters and people with cameras frightened her so?

“Are you sure you want to go? We can leave,” he assured her, a comforting hand covering hers.

She shook her head. “No, I … better get used to this quick. It will be the first of many,” she resolved. “Hopefully.”

Cullen nodded and reached the handle, popping it open. “Ready?”

Jaw set and countenance steadied, Amallia gave him a singular nod, firm and confident.

Bright flashes from the cameras and shouts calling his name – how they knew who he was, he had not a clue – assaulted him the moment his head appeared over the roof of the car. He did his best to ignore everyone, rounding the bumper and reaching for the handle of the other passenger door, unlatching and drawing it wide for Amallia to step out with ease.

She hesitated a second, a deep breath heaving her shoulders, and his own breath caught in his throat as a long, pale leg, exposed nearly to the hip, stepped from the car. A flurry of flashes and the repeated snict, snict, snict of shutters mingled with the shouts of reporters, all vying for her attention.

He offered her his hand and thank the Maker, she took it, squeezing hard and pulling for leverage. Cullen moved not an inch, supporting her without a second thought. With a graceful sweep of her other leg, Amallia stood, rising above the door of the car and meeting headlong the renewed assault of flashing lights.

“Ms. Trevelyan, over here!”

“Mr. Rutherford, give us a smile!”

“Ms. Trevelyan!”

“Mr. Rutherford!”

Their names repeated like a mantra, and though Cullen was prepared to bolt for the restaurant, Amallia moved with slow, deliberate steps, a roll to her hips he had seen only in private moments. He matched her pace, though his instincts urged otherwise. Far too many people crowded the sidewalk to be safe and Cullen could not keep track of all the faces, half of which hid behind large cameras.

“Calm down, sweetheart. You’re not on the clock.”

The smooth and soft hum of her voice withdrew the tension from his shoulders and eased his grip on her hand. Her fingers slipped away to reach for his hip, drawing him closer, and his large grip covered her shoulder. He stood a little straighter, a little taller, chin raising and lips stretching into a confident smile.

“Better?”

Cullen nodded and squeezed her shoulder. “Much.”

When they reached the door, it opened for them, a host pushing the gaudy Tevinter carving wide. In a smart suit, the host greeted them as he confirmed their invitations, then begged their forgiveness as they waited to be seated.

“Ms. Theirin?”

Alistair’s attention followed that of his wife to find a man towering over the opposite end of their table. William Levy held out his hand for Amodisia, and she took it in as firm a grasp as she could manage, her hand so small compared to his.

“A pleasure to meet you,” he chimed with a sparkling grin. He turned to Alistair, greeting him in a similar fashion. “Mr. Theirin, I admit, I am a bit star-struck.”

Alistair scoffed as he took the man’s large hand in his. “You ought to look in a mirror, you do realize that you’re William Levy, all tall and broad and glimmering teeth.”

He had only meant it as a compliment, but the actor blushed all the same. “Still, I’ve been looking forward to meeting the both of you when I’d heard you would be joining us,” he commented, and Alistair noted the look the man angled at his wife. And rightly so; Amodisia was particularly stunning that evening.

“I apologize, I have to …” he pointed to his table where his co-stars were seated.

Amodisia waved her hand, dismissing his concern. “We can speak again later, after the premier.”

He left them then with a nod, another bright smile, and Ms. McGrath and Mr. Cosnett greeted him with warm hugs as he rounded the table. It appeared the three of them were close, friends at the very least for how animated they were during conversation. A drink was set down before Mr. Levy and he took it as he thanked the server.

“Maker, I know they’d all be here, but I never thought we’d meet The Warden,” Amodisia breathed.

Alistair heard not a word she had said, enthralled by the latest arrival.

“Andraste, preserve me.”

His wife turned back to him, following his eyes to the curtained doorway and her jaw dropped to the table.

They paused before the curtain, heavy red velour barring their way. Amallia gave him a sidelong glance as she approached.

“I’ll go first?” Cullen suggested.

For a moment, she considered his offer, seeming to debate whether it was necessary. Then she nodded, releasing his hand and stepping to the side.

“After you,” she said with a smirk as the host pulled back the curtain.

He snorted a laugh with a roll of his eyes, stepping through the opening and submerging in the near darkness beyond. Several seconds passed before he could make out the room, an intimate setting of tables packed close, cast and crew seated together at random.

Across the room, he spotted the leading actress and her co-star. They were seated at a table with the other man who had portrayed The Warden. And a smattering of other faces – Rahul Kohli, Sophia Taylor Ali, James McAvoy, Shannyn Sossamon, Yaya DaCosta, – dotted the room.

Turning back he held out an open hand, inviting Amallia to join him.

“Is that …”

Alistair sighed. His love-struck gaze and soft smile of adoration looked quite ridiculous. But Amodisia felt a flutter in her chest, a thought creeping in from the surrounding darkness to linger at the edge of her mind as she stared at the man that stood by the curtain.

Alistair’s hand grasped hers in a tight squeeze. “Maker, but he is magnificent.”

She wanted to agree, but her lips would not obey, slack and unresponsive. She could only stare at Cullen in his trim black tux with its red pocket square peeking out at his left breast. Behind him, the curtain remained in place, pulled aside as he offered his hand.

A deep, clarifying breath steadied her nerves, exhaling through pursed lips as she placed her fingers in Cullen’s waiting hand, and he held them with a gentle touch. Deliberate, slow steps carried her over the threshold and she was swallowed by darkness.

Hues of orange and red and brown blended in brush strokes across the room as Amallia waited for her eyes to adjust. As she came to a stop by his side, Cullen released her hand and placed his at the small of her back, firm and reassuring. He scanned the room as she did, though for different reasons. Spotting other familiar faces of her crew, she waved and smiled.

Cullen flinched, a subtle twitch of his hand at her back. She regarded him with a loving smile to find his eyes frozen on the nearest table. She swept the room once more, careful not to draw attention, until she saw what he had; the glimmering green of Amodisia’s wide eyes, and beside her, Alistair with the softest of smiles curling a corner of his lips.

Amodisia was on her feet, looking her over from head to toe and Amallia felt a familiar warmth consume her, cheeks tingling and toes curling. The other woman’s deep purple dress clung to every vivacious curve of her body, deep neckline matching her own. But where Amallia was more evenly proportioned, Amodisia was built like an hourglass, large breasts giving way to a severe waist and wide hips. It took Cullen’s voice to pull her attention away.

“You’re staring, darling.”

She heard the devious grin on his face before she saw it. “And you’re not?”

“I was,” he chimed as he gestured her toward the table and Amallia started for it. “But it appears I have more self-control than you.”

Amallia had a retort prepared, but Amodisia’s hands found her arms, silencing her. “Mal, you look exquisite!”

She enveloped her friend in a tight hug. Maker, but she had missed the woman. “Speak for yourself, Sia, you are absolutely stunning, Maker, look at this dress.”

Amodisia parted from her with a grin to embrace Cullen. “Alistair picked it,” she said as they parted. “I must admit, I feel a little exposed.” Her hand gestured to her cleavage.

“I like it,” she replied with a wink and Amodisia’s face colored a crimson so dark she could see it in the dim candlelight. Before she could say anything else, Alistair rounded the table and wrapped her in a tight hug.

“Beautiful, as always, Mal,” he drawled. “Maker, I wouldn’t have stood a chance with Sia if you hadn’t moved away. And look at this,” he exclaimed as he turned back to Cullen and wrapped an arm low on his back. “Mr. 007 over here. You clean up nicely, Cullen.”

If Amallia had not discussed it with him before, she would have seen how obvious it was then. Cullen managed to contain himself, but his embarrassment colored his cheeks as bad as Amodisia’s.

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” he hummed.

Alistair opened his mouth to protest, but all he managed was a soft squeak as Cullen walked away for his chair. The red flush that colored Alistair’s nose spread to his cheeks and down to his neck in a heartbeat, and Amallia knew that embarrassment made it all the way to his navel.

“Alistair?” Amallia asked with a smile. “What is it?”

“Your boyfriend is wicked,” he muttered as he took his seat. “Lucky girl.”

A laugh bubbled up in her throat as Amallia took her seat between Cullen and Amodisia, the two already deep in conversation. Once settled, their server approached, taking drink orders, then hurried away.

More familiar faces drew her attention as Amallia scanned the room again, consuming as much as she could of the atmosphere, the intimate lighting, the hint of spices in the air, and the architecture soaring high overhead.

When Amodisia handed her a menu, she startled, drawn from the depths of her mind. She took the menu from her, but the other woman rested an insistent hand on her forearm.

“I need to ask you something,” she stated.

Was that nerves she heard, a quaver in her voice? Of course, Amodisia would be nervous. Someone had it out for her and they were in public again, surrounded by people about which they knew nothing. Where was their detail, she wondered?

“What is it?” Amallia asked.

Amodisia glanced across the restaurant and Amallia followed to find Loghain and Anora seated amongst minor cast members. Drinks arrived as her head snapped back before Loghain made eye contact and she whispered to Amodisia.

“Did you know the Mac Tirs’ would be here?” she asked.

“No, but …” she trailed off a second, breathing a quick sigh. “That’s not what I wanted to talk about,” she snipped, irritation evident. “It’s Alistair.”

Amallia considered the man across the table from the corner of her eye. Nothing seemed out of sorts. If anything, Alistair appeared quite happy, smiling as he spoke with Cullen, animated and engaged.

“Is he okay?”

Amodisia shrugged. “He’s fine. Stressed, but fine otherwise. Mal, I think he … he’s …” she stuttered, unable to put words to her thoughts. With an exasperated gasp, she whispered, “Look at him!”

When Amallia considered him once more, she saw nothing different. Amodisia, with her hopeful eyes and brow creeping towards her hairline, nodded with enthusiasm. So, Amallia turned back once more, watching with scrutiny as Alistair smiled and grinned and laughed with Cullen, who mirrored him laugh for laugh, smile for smile. Alistair motioned across the room to the head table and Cullen nodded.

And then it dawned on her.

“Sia,” she started, “Are you just realizing this now?”

“You knew?!” she snapped.

“I … guessed,” Amallia replied. “And it was recent. I talked to Cullen about it.”

“And?!” Amodisia asked, voice rising with excitement as she grasped her arm tighter.

Amallia laughed as she said, “What do you want me to say? They’re infatuated with each other?”

Amodisia gaped. “No. You’re joking. Right?” She looked to Alistair and then Cullen, eyes growing wider with each passing second. “Oh, Maker, you’re not joking. They are.”

Amallia returned her attention to her menu, but failed to read anything there as Amodisia stared at the men across the table. Behind Alistair, their server took orders at the table there, moving on to the next, and continuing down the row until he reached the head table. When Alistair spoke, Amallia startled, despite that he addressed his wife.

“See something you like?”

Before she could respond, their server rounded to their table. Cullen ordered roasted pheasant, and Alistair the cheese tortellini, while Amodisia settled on the butternut squash ravioli. Amallia, torn with the options, decided on a filet and a glass of Antivan red. With orders placed and menus cleared, conversation renewed. Cullen updated them on the investigation with great care not to be overheard and Alistair asked questions as Amodisia and Amallia spoke between the two of them.

Another string of actors entered – Dwayne Johnson, Claudia Black, Tabrette Bethell, Dean O’Gorman, and Nicki Aycox – drawing her attention away from the conversation. Amallia followed them, watching as the newly arrived invitees took their seats. Eyes narrowed, she continued to look, placing names with faces as she considered each of them. But something seemed off, out of place or missing.

Not something.

Someone.

“Cullen,” she interrupted as she gripped his forearm. “Something’s wrong.”

[sylvanas-girlkisser]

Lena Immaculate!

So a couple of days ago i stumbled upon this amazing gifset featuring Katie McGrath as a goth DJ, and it sort of inspired me to write a supercorp fic, featuring Goth engineering student Lena Luthor, and 9 puppies in a cardigan journalism student Kara Danvers.

Can also be read on AO3

Tortuous one, taboos undone

A glittering star on a sea of myriad waves

And a thickening mist, a seductress

Leading lovesick hearts astray

 “Hi, uhm, excuse me. Gosh am I interrupting. I’m so sorry, can I just trouble you for a moment.”

Lena slowly pulled off her headphones and glared at the girl who dared to disturb her sanctuary of study.

The girl looked like she had wandered right out of Pleasantville, all pink cardigans, blonde hair and bubbly smile.

“I’m listening.” Lena said folding her hands on top of her textbook, she wasn’t actually listening, but she figured it was the easiest way to get rid of little miss sunshine.

The girl spent a lot of time looking at Lena with an open mouth, it was probably the rings, or maybe the piercings, Lena wasn’t sure.

The girl opened her mouth to speak, and Lena mentally prepared herself to be asked about her lord and savior Jesus Christ. She had no idea why they kept letting nut jobs like her in at Metropolis U.

 “Uhm, I have to do an interview for my journalism class and I saw you sitting there, and was wondering if maybe you had the time. I’M SORRY FOR DISTURBING YOU I’LL JUST GO!” So not a religious nut, just a freshman in the field.

Lena wasn’t sure why she reached out to stop the retreating girl, she wanted to get back to her studies, not have to sit through 20 awkward, and vapid questions from the neighbor nice girl.

“No, its fine I need a break from the studies anyways.”

The blonde almost flew back. “Really?” She asked with eyes the size of teacups, Lena could have sworn she saw a tail wag between her legs.

“Yes, let me see if I can guess the topic: subcultural life on campus.” Lena sassed, gesturing at her heavy black clothes. She was already regretting agreeing to this.

“Actually it’s about studying engineering as a woman, and what kind of challenges you face, I saw that you were reading all these books about currents and physics and all kinds of clever stuff.” The girl smiled with her whole face, like she genuinely hadn’t realized Lena had just insulted her.

“Oh, uhm sorry for being presumptuous, yes I study electrical engineering I’m on my 3rd year what would you like to know?”

 The interview itself when smoothly. The blonde (Kara as she learned was her name), asked interesting but not too intimate questions. Then proudly showed Lena the notes she’d taken on her reporter pad (“cause I’m going to be a real reporter!”), before waltzing off to do whatever it was girls like her did.

Probably sing to her flock of forest friends while cleaning up after her evil stepsister.

 That should have been that right? Just a minor footnote in the melancholic story of her life.

Except somehow  that modern day disney princess with her locks of spun gold was haunting her dreams.

Lena had known she was gay since the first time her and Veronica snuck up to the old belfry after lights out. Her family hadn’t been near as okay with it, but that was another story.

What mattered was that she was familiar with the term gay panic, even though she had never experienced it herself.

Until now.

 She hadn’t seen Kara since that afternoon in the library 2 weeks ago.

It made sense, Metropolis U was a fairly compartmentalized university, engineering was taught in one end, the humanities in the other.

She had no reason to ever leave the engineering buildings except to study in the larger cross faculty library.

Which she admittedly did often, though it seemed Kara didn’t.

Lena would know she had been keeping a lookout.

 Lena didn’t really have any friends, it was a conscious decision, after first Veronica, then Lex, and then her mom, it just seemed easier to not get attached.

Contrary to what she heard people say behind her back (seriously was she back in middle school?) she didn’t walk around in trench coats and army boots to stand out, she did it to scare people off.

Also maybe because Alice from “Resident Evil” had sort of been her sexual awakening.

The closest thing she had was her roommate Jess, however that was more of a mutual politeness thing.

 Most of the time she was perfectly okay with her solitary lifestyle. Right now she needed someone to pull her out of her obsession, before she did something stupid.

Like exploit the schools poorly managed database structure to gain access to the schedule of all freshman journalism students, and plan to “randomly” stumble into her one day after class.

Not that she would ever do that.

Or debate whether Tuesday or Thursday was more likely to make Kara susceptible to an impulse trip to a café.

That would be stupid, and irresponsible, possibly illegal, and bordering on stalking.

 Lena arrived 25 minutes early outside the classroom.

She had meant to be there at most 5-10 before, just in case the lecture ended early.

Her fear got the better of her, so she looked up what the maximum amount of time school regulations allowed a lecturer to end the lesson too early was.

 She had been rehearsing her speech all morning, yet the moment Kara stepped out of that classroom it all left her.

At that point it was too late to turn around, she was already walking towards Kara.

Lena could do this! All she had to do was smile and be cool.

“Hi Lena, how are you doing?” Kara smiled while she spoke, and Lena swore it was getting harder to breathe.

“Fine thank you, I came by to ask how it went with your assignment.” All things considered, Lena was pretty impressed just how calm and coherent she was being in front of this literal ray of sunshine.

“Oh, uhm, it went really well, Professor Grant called it a mediocre attempt at decent journalism, so I think she liked it.” Kara had this cute little crinkle in her brow as she stared off into the distance, and tried to think about... something?

“I was wondering if you could perhaps be persuaded to tell me more about the assignment over a cup of coffee?” Lena made sure to add a seductive little wink to her proposition, which Kara missed entirely.”

“I don’t like coffee, could we get pastries instead?” Lena was about to politely chuckle at Kara’s joke, before she realized the blonde the blonde was completely serious.

“It’s a date.” Truth be told that last comment was a hail Mary from Lena, if she was going to do it, she was going to go all out.

Kara sputtered and recoiled. “Sorry I, um, I didn’t mean to drag you into something you don’t want, its okay we can just have coffee! I uhm, I, ah.” Lena wasn’t even sure what Kara was rambling about.

“Kara, stop panicking, I would like to go on a date with you, I was the one who asked.” Putting a grounding hand on her crush seemed to prevent her from taking flight through the roof, though her cheeks still looked about ready to spontaneously combust.

“Psh, me panic, no never, I’m the most collected person ever! Wait really?! You want to go on a date with me? As in a date date? As in you might like me date? Like, like me like me? That kind of date! But you’re so cool, and badass, and I’m just silly little me?”

It was weird, but Lena was already growing fond of Kara’s  tendency to ramble.

  They must have looked like an odd couple, walking down the hall side by side. Kara in an ensemble of  pastel colors, with her hair framing her head like a halo, next to Lena in black and silver, with sleek raven hair looking not unlike a widow’s veil.

[justawordunsaid]

Supergirl - TV series appreciation

When I first watched Supergirl, I watched it for Katie McGrath’s part as Lena Luthor, thus I only watched the second season. I wasn’t interested in the TV series per se, I was just Supercorp trash since Lena’s first appearance, but lately I gave in and found some spare time to watch Season 1.

Now, I’m not usually a fan of heroes and their TV shows. So, as much as I might approve the idea of a female superhero, I wasn’t interested in Supergirl’s story. But it turns out the series is not what I heard of it. People were enthusiastic about having a hot and cute blonde wearing a skirt and playing Superman, feminists were excited for girls’ power!, assholes were annoyed at a girl being put on the same level as long-time hero Superman.

I couldn’t care less about superheroes. But I like what they did in the first season of Supergirl. I like that they used it as a metaphor. Call them Superman and Supergirl, but look beyond the powers and they’re just a random sample of a Girl and a Boy. As Cat Grant likes to remark from time to time, a woman in our society needs to work twice as hard to achieve the same opportunity and respect given to a man. A lot of movies and TV shows say that. But most of the time they acknowledge it and then they go on as if nothing happened, as if it didn’t matter. Supergirl speaks it out loud, repeats it out loud, shows it many times, and also shows how despite that injustice women still manage to be successful, more successful than men who got the same opportunities even deserving them less.

It doesn’t say that Superman is not a hero. It does say that he has it easier because he’s a man. It doesn’t say successful men don’t deserve to be where they are and have the respect they have, it doesn’t say men don’t earn what they have; it does say that women have to work twice as hard to earn the same as men do. It doesn’t say that men are not criticised; it does say that women are criticised more harshly and for less.

This series is not about a female hero, it’s about a woman. That’s what I like about it. It shows kids that it’s normal and right for a girl to be strong and powerful and successful, it shows kids that it is not okay to believe someone is better or worse than someone else based on their gender.

I don’t like Supergirl’s suit. Come on, how is a skirt comfortable to fight? The first thing I though when I saw a picture of Supergirl from the comics was “there you go, another woman who needs to show legs and naked skin and a good bosom to be cool”. That’s honestly what I thought. It’s another thing I hate so much about heroes. The men are covered from head to toes – which makes sense especially if their suit is meant to protect them – while the women are always hot and half naked. Now, I understand it can get hot when you fight (I’m a Medieval fencer I would know), but how is it better to just offer bare skin to cut? In the TV series though Supergirl is not half naked. Yes, she wears a skirt and I still think that’s less functional than pants – but then she is the Girl of Steel, right? – but once I got which messages the series was trying to send, I just saw it as a good thing (personally I still very much HATE skirts btw). A girl doesn’t need to wear pants to be strong, she also doesn’t need to be half naked to be cool, it’s okay to be feminine and be bad ass. And that’s a beautiful message, especially for the kids.

Supergirl will never be my favourite TV show, I still very much don’t give a damn about superheroes, but it certainly is a good example of how a series should be and which messages it should send. And that’s why Supergirl is definitely better than all the superheroes series I’ve seen (or refused to watch after catching them on TV).