#do an ultrasound and sure enough I’ve got em!

[dragongeek1]

well friends I have officially joined the Chronic Pain Club, it’s not great to be here, there’s a chance it’s only temporary but my gut says ‘hmm many doubts’ and I won’t really know for a couple of weeks anyway until my doctors appointment. So. Been navigating that for four days and well we’re navigating at least

[captain-josslett]

Hospitalised Part Two

(Part One) 

Summary: Emma gets very ill while having sister night with Kara and Alex.

Words: 4.5k+

Warnings: Vomit, Needles, Mentions of Blood, Pain, Claustrophobia, Angst, Fluff

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor (Eventual), Alex Danvers x Sam Arias

Okayyyy. So I’ve been working on this all week. Humming and ahhing it this was good enough. But I’m just gonna most it. There should be a part 3 at some point! I hope this is okay!

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated.

Taglist: @thewitchandtheassassin , @natasha-danvers , @life-is-hella-unfair , @finleyfray​, @supergirl-writingz​

It has been five days since Emma Danvers was admitted into the hospital and her own private room. Many tests have been performed, one being an ultrasound where the technician confirmed Emma’s gallbladder was overflowing with stones. Causing her sister’s to hug her close.

More tests were scheduled for later in the week after the antibiotics should have taken out most of the infection in Emma’s liver. The test Emma is dreading the most is getting an MRI. Alex had to tell her all the calming techniques she knew to prepare Emma for when she is slid into the claustrophobic space.

But in the early hours of the morning Emma’s jaundice, hazel green eyes snap open as a familiar pain shoots through her body.

“Fuck!” She cries through gritted teeth. She slowly sits up and rocks her body to try and relieve the stabbing pain in her chest, right shoulder and back. But she feels no relief. “Please stop!” Emma whimpers desperately.

“Em?” Kara’s sleepy voice calls out from the bed next to her in the darkened hospital room.

But all Emma can do is respond in pained gasps and moans. She’s suddenly blinded by a light being turned on. Revealing Kara standing next to her bed.

“Oh Em!” Kara reaches out and feel’s Emma’s sweaty forehead. “I’m gonna get help!” Kara turns to rush out of the hospital room but stops when her baby sister takes a hold of her arm.

“Stay.” Emma wheezes. “Button.”

“Duh, sorry.” Kara rolls her eyes at herself, in her sleepy mind she forgot about the simple technology in the room. She presses the button on the wall to alert the nurse on duty.

The corner of Emma’s right lip goes up slightly in a smile and she weaves her fingers through Kara’s. Her sister gently squeezes her hand, hating how helpless she feels and at how yellow and pale Emma looks. How she’s constantly rocking.

“Glasses. Please.” Emma hates her thick rimmed glasses but she hates not being able to see more.

“Of course! Here.” Kara opens up the glasses and places them in Emma’s other hand. Emma puts them on and the room focuses.

“Good Morning Emma.” Emma’s favourite nurse, Sarah, enters the room and approaches the sister’s immediately. Looking over the machines and tapping on her tablet. “Where’s the pain?”

“The usual. Was. Asleep.” Emma gasps out, trying to breathe through the pain. Her head lolled back and forth repeatedly.

“Okay, from a scale of 1 to 10?”

“9.” Emma grits out. Kara gently squeezes her hand again and Emma weakly squeezes back.

“Okay, I’m going to give you some more morphine to help you feel more comfortable.” Sarah quickly gets to work and after a while Emma is able to lean back on the raised bed. The morphine taking effect and helping her body start to relax. “Better?” Sarah asks as she takes Emma’s temperature and blood pressure.

“Yea, a 7.”

Sarah nods and writes some notes on the tablet in her hand. “I’ll contact the Doctors to let them know you’ve had another attack. We’ll need to do another blood test.”

Emma shrugs her shoulders at her. Needles used to scare her but after being poked and prodded so much her fear has lessened.

“Atta girl!” The nurse smiles brightly and starts the process of the blood test.

“So I was thinking.” Kara starts suddenly making Emma look at her in surprise. “I still can’t see why you prefer The Little Mermaid to Beauty and The Beast!”

A laugh escapes Emma’s lips. Knowing Kara is trying to distract her. “It’s because of Ursula. I mean her voice is incredible. And the laugh! Plus I love ‘Part Of Your World’ more than any song in Beauty and The Beast.”

“But the ballroom scene -!”

“Sharp scratch.” Sarah calls out.

“Is wonderful and I still cry at it.” Emma smiles at Kara’s horrified face. She grimaces slightly when she feels the needle go in. “But it always bugs me how a Prince doesn’t know how to read. Or the fact the fairy turned him into the beast when he was a kid.”

“All done!” The nurse smiles at the sister’s and cleans Emma up.

“Thank you Sarah.” Emma says gratefully and she waits for the nurse to leave the room. “Sorry I woke you.” Emma says softly to her sister.

“Don’t be, it’s what I’m here for.” Kara reaches up and cups Emma’s face. Rubbing her thumb over her cheek.

“But you’ve had a busy day.” Emma whines, knowing Kara worked at Catco and then many hours Supergirling around the city.

“The joys of the work I do.” Kara jokes. “But you are so much more important Em.”

Emma smiles but she feels her eyes growing heavy. The painkillers taking full effect.

“Looks like someone needs to go back to sleep.” Kara says while kissing Emma’s head.

Emma nods slightly. She can’t remember the last time she’s slept solidly and feels refreshed after. Which annoys Emma greatly as she loves sleep.

Kara turns to go back to the spare bed but Emma holds on to her hand. “Stay?” Her weak voice broke Kara’s heart.

“Sure.”

Emma budges over and Kara climbs up on the bed. holding Emma close to her.

“Love you.” Emma says while yawning.

“Love you too little one.” Kara carefully removes Emma’s glasses and places them on the table next to them.

“Only a year younger.” Emma breathes out, feeling herself relaxing in her sister’s arms.

“Yea.” Kara strokes Emma’s blonde hair trying to soothe her. She smiles while listening to her sister’s breathing getting deeper and her heart rate slowing down as she falls asleep.

Kara wakes up to the sound of soft voices. The superhero slowly lifts her head and blinks the sleep away. Across the room on the sofa’s is Alex and Eliza, looking over a tablet.

It seems her mother instinct kicks in because Eliza looks up at her two daughters on the bed and sees Kara is awake. Eliza smiles, quietly gets up and makes her way to the bed. Alex follows behind her, still looking over the tablet in her hands.

“Morning Kara.” Eliza says as she leans down and gives Kara a kiss on her cheek. Her eyes shifted to Emma, snuggled into Kara’s neck.

“Morning.” Kara can’t help but let out a yawn.

“I see she had another attack last night.” Alex whispers scrolling through the information on the tablet.

Kara sighs heavily. “Yea, she was fine when we went to sleep but I woke up to her cursing in pain.”

“My poor baby.” Eliza reaches down and strokes Emma’s blonde hair. “I can see what you mean by how jaundice she looks. And you said it suddenly happened?”

“Yes.” Alex looks up from the tablet. “She was fine a week ago, nothing was wrong other than how tired she was.”

“Yea, but she was sleeping a lot more. I just took it as her period was coming up.” Kara whispers as she rubs a hand against Emma’s back.

“But the day she was admitted I did think her colour looked off. I did notice the signs and I’m angry I didn’t do anything about it.” Alex growls in frustration.

“We can’t change what’s in the past.” Eliza says gently.

Alex nods and goes to get a chair for her Mom and herself. Kara happily stays on the bed, being Emma’s pillow. The three women quietly talk until suddenly Emma bolts up.

“I’m gonna be sick!”

Alex leaps into action and grabs a sick bowl just in time. Kara jumps off the bed, aware her body heat could cause Emma more discomfort. She presses the call button again. Eliza holds Emma’s hair back and puts it in a loose ponytail. She frowns at the pain Emma is in. How her baby daughter rocks back and forth as she heaves. The tears streaming down her pale cheeks.

“Another one?” Sarah says as she quickly rushes in.

“Yes, she suddenly sat up saying she was about to be sick.”

“Poor Emma. Here.” Sarah hands Alex a new bowl while taking the partly full one. She gathers more painkillers and anti sickness medication and injects them into Emma’s cannula. “There you go Emma, you should feel that relief soon.”

Emma nods weakly as she dry heaves. Her eyes squeezed tightly shut. “I wanna go home.” She whimpers causing her sisters and Mom’s heart to break.

“I know baby girl.” Eliza tries to soothe her daughter. Looking on helplessly as she rubs her back.

“Mama?” Emma gasps out before throwing up again.

“I’m here.”

Emma subconsciously leans into her Mom, who has to take the bowl as Alex almost had to lean over the bed due to Emma’s movement.

“I’ve got you baby girl.” Eliza coos and holds her daughter close.

Finally Emma stops heaving and Sarah makes more notes. “Pain level Emma?”

“I-I-I do-don-’t-”

Alex and Kara frown at each other. Worried at how slurred Emma’s speech was.

“That’s okay Emma, lean back and rest okay?” Sarah says kindly. Taking the bowl from Eliza and disposing of it.

Emma feels her Mom slowly lay her back down and immediately falls back asleep, holding her Mom’s hand.

Sarah reenters the room and picks up her tablet, typing away. Finally she looks up at the worried women around the bed. “I’ll alert the Doctors immediately. They should be here soon and generally they have a meeting before going around the wards.”

“Is this normal?” Kara asks, biting her lip.

“Generally no. But each case can be different. Unfortunately Emma seems to have the worst end of the stick.”

The nurse leaves and Kara changes into the clothes she brought with her. Both sister’s decide they are going to take time off work and stay with Emma. Both knowing they won’t be able to concentrate with how Emma is deteriorating. J’onn readily agrees and will cover as director and for Supergirl.

An hour later the door opens. All three women look over and they give Sam and Lena barely their smiles.

“Don’t look too happy to see us!” Sam jokes as she reaches Alex and gives her a kiss on the lips.

“Sorry, Emma had two more attacks in quick succession.”

“Oh no.” Sam breathes out and looks at the blonde in the bed. “She… She does look more yellow… Or am I imagining that?”

“No, she has got worse.” Kara says rubbing a hand over her forehead. Her worry for her baby sister makes her feel anxious and helpless. Realising Lena hasn’t said anything Kara looks up at the raven haired women standing at the end of the bed. “Lena?”

The CEO is staring at Emma intently, looking over every part that she can see. Analysing and running through ways she can help the woman she loves.

“Lena?”

Lena jumps when Kara calls for her again.

“Sorry.” She says quickly and sits in the chair by Kara.

“Don’t be. It’s not easy seeing her like this.” Kara wraps an arm around Lena’s shoulder and pulls her in for a hug.

“Have the Doctors been in?” Sam asks Alex, who shakes her head.

“Not yet.” Alex answers softly, running a hand through her hair. “Sarah said they need to get the MRI done so they can have a better picture of what’s going on. There may be a chance a stone has got caught somewhere and we don’t want that getting left behind when they operate.”

“Poor Em.” Sam looks at the blonde sympathetically and focuses on the hand Eliza is holding. She wonders how Eliza is keeping everything together. If this was happening to Ruby, Sam knows she would be a frantic mess.

Another hour passes. Lena and Sam reluctantly have to leave. Lena is especially sad she didn’t get to talk to Emma and feeling guilty for how busy she’s been the past few days. Even though she’s been leaving work in record time to spend the evenings with Emma, it never seems to be enough time. Lena places a kiss on Emma’s cheek, leaving a red lipstick mark, which she quickly wipes off. Not realising her kiss had woken Emma up.

After they leave there’s a knock on the door. Emma stirs more, taking a deep breath in as she starts to open her eyes.

“May we come in?” Dr Stevens asks as they open the door.

Eliza nods and Dr Stevens, Sarah and a few interns filter into the room.

“Ah Emma! You're awake.” Dr Stevens smiles kindly at the blonde. Who gives a weak smile back. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore.” Emma’s voice is low and gruff. She coughs and Alex immediately grabs the cup of water by the bed and hands it to Emma. Who takes it gratefully, taking small sips. Alex picks up Emma’s glasses and carefully places them on her baby sister. Making sure they go on properly.

“What level is the pain?”

Emma thinks for a moment as she assesses how she feels. “Between 7 and an 8.”

“That isn’t good.” Dr Stevens looks down at their tablet. “Sarah, once Emma has her MRI can you set up a morphine drip? That way we can keep Emma more comfortable.”

Sarah nods and taps on her tablet the new information.

“Due to the recent attacks we are putting you ahead of the MRI queue. One of my interns will take you down in a moment. You need to take anything that has metal off, including jewellery, bras, little pieces of metal in clothes etc.”

Emma nods sluggishly at the surgeon.

“Do you have any questions?” Dr Stevens keeps their focus on Emma who looks at those around her.

“No, I think we are okay for the moment.” Eliza says squeezing Emma’s hand.

“Actually.” Alex pipes up causing everyone to look at her. “Have you got the results from the recent blood test?”

“We do, but I want to see what the MRI shows first.”

Alex nods at this and leans back into her chair. The surgeon bids them goodbye and all of the interns follow them out.

Emma reaches up and tries to unclasp her ear studs. When she struggles Kara stands and helps her remove them.

“Thanks Kar.” Emma says gratefully while Kara places them in a small pot by Emma’s bed. Emma turns her head looking at Eliza, who holds her hand again. “Hey Mom.” Emma has wanted her Mom terribly but due to Eliza’s work she couldn’t get to her baby daughter quick enough. Something that has frustrated Eliza greatly.

“Hi baby girl.” Eliza stands and holds her daughter close. A sniff escapes the blonde until the damn breaks and she’s sobbing into her Mom’s arms. The feeling of safety and home overwhelming her.

“Sorry.” Emma chokes out, feeling embarrassed by her outburst.

“Oh Emma. It’s okay.” Her Mom says while kissing the top of her head.

“But it’s stupid.”

“No it isn’t. You’re in pain and very unwell. You’re allowed to cry.”

“Yea.” Alex stands and hugs Emma’s back. Kara reaches out and takes a hold of Emma’s hand. “We don’t think any less of you for crying Em.”

“Sorry to interrupt but I need to take Emma down.” A female intern stood in the doorway. Kara, Alex and Eliza pull away. Emma shoots Alex a look of panic and Alex motioned with her hand for Emma to take deep breaths. Which Emma copies, but she still looks terrified.

“Remember to keep your eyes closed and think of nice things.” Alex says encouragingly.

“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.” Kara starts singing ‘My Favourite Things” from The Sound Of Music.

“Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens.” Emma sings with a smile on her face. They both sing the next few lines to each other.

“Brown paper packages tied up with string. These are a few of my favourite things.”

Alex rolls her eyes but smiles at her two musical loving sisters.

The intern smiles too and steps forward making Emma focus on her. “And I just need to check your clothing for metal. Is that okay?”

Emma nods and the intern lifts the blanket and sheets back. Checking the holes and drawstring in Emma’s sweatpants. They pull the sheet and blanket up over Emma.

“Are you wearing a bra?”

“No.”

“Great! And your earrings are out.” The intern pulls the bars up either side of Emma and everyone moves out of the way. Emma looks at Alex again in a panic.

“You’ll be fine Em.” Alex reaches out and holds Emma’s hand.

“You can have someone come down with you. They won’t be in the room with you though.” The intern offers kindly.

Emma looks at Alex and bites her lip.

“Would you like me to come down with you?” Alex asks softly, smiling at how much Emma looks like the child she remembers from their youth. All wide eyed and scared.

Emma nods and Alex keeps a hold of her hand.

“We’ll be here when you get back.” Eliza kisses Emma’s forehead and holds her daughter close. Next Kara gives Emma a crushing hug. Trying to convey all her love in that moment.

“Can’t. Breathe.” Emma gasps out.

“Sorry!” Kara flies back causing Emma to laugh but reaches for her sister again, pulling her into another, more gentle hug.

“I’m sorry but we really have to go.” The intern disengages the break and starts pushing the trolley forward.

Kara lets go of Emma and stands with Eliza in the room. They watch Emma being wheeled out with Alex by her side.

“Al…” Emma says quietly as they wait in the elevator. Alex looks down at her and squeezes her hand.

“Yea?”

“I’m nervous.”

“It’s okay to be nervous Em. But you got this. The doctors need this scan to know the best way to perform the surgery.” Alex reaches up and strokes her thumb across Emma’s yellow cheek. “You remember all the breathing exercises I taught you?”

Emma nods. “But what if I freak out?”

“Honestly, Em, we don’t have time for you to freak out. You need this scan. Keep your mind busy with things you like and focus on your breathing. The machine will let you know when to hold your breath and all that.”

“Okay.” But Emma didn’t feel okay. If she was linked to a heart monitor she was sure it would be going haywire at the moment.

The elevator doors slide open and the intern wheels them to the MRI room. Emma is immediately intimated by the huge machine, and the small gap in its centre. The technician greets them and goes through everything with Emma and asks the usual questions “Are you pregnant?” Which earned a snort from Emma before confirming she wasn’t.

“Okay, so we are all ready for you. Can you stand and walk to the slab?”

“Yes.”

The intern lowers one side of the railing around the bed and Emma slowly lifts her legs over the side. Alex stands by her side, helping Emma get to her feet. Emma closes her eyes for a moment as the room spins around her. Causing Alex to hold onto her.

“Em?”

“M’okay.” Taking a deep breath she opens her eyes again, taking a few cautious steps with Alex holding onto her shoulders and walking with her. They reach the slab and Alex helps her sit down.

“Going to need you to take your glasses I’m afraid.”

“Okay.” Emma takes them off and hands them to Alex. Her sister leans down and hugs her.

“You’ll be fine.” Alex says reassuringly and places a kiss on Emma’s cheek.

“Thanks Al.” Emma thinks she smiles at Alex, but she can no longer see Alex’s face. Just a blob of colour.

The voice of the technician is what she hears next.“Put these earbuds in, they will drown out most of the noise and you’ll hear when the machine instructs you to breathe and when to hold your breath.”

Emma holds out her hand and the ear buds are placed in it.  Emma puts them in her ear and immediately the noises of the room dims. She then lies on the slab and the technician places a shield over her chest and lower body. She is strapped onto the slab and the technician gives her the thumbs up. Or what looks like the thumbs up.

“Ready?” A muffled voice calls out.

“Re-ready.”

The machine suddenly slides her in and she has no problem seeing the top right in front of her face. For a split second panic floods through Emma and she feels like she’s in a coffin. But Emma immediately closes her eyes and focuses on her breathing.

After a while Emma starts imagining she is on a plane. The hum of the machine being similar to that of a plane. The cold air being pumped around her, reminding her of the air con on a plane. How Emma always needs to wrap up and take a blanket with her. The feeling of being squished into the machine, just like being squished in a small seat on a plane.

She pictures herself sitting next to Lena, on their way to Paris or Rome or Athens. Places Emma is desperate to visit one day.

“When you hear the beep, take a deep breath and hold for 15 seconds until you hear the next beep.” An automated voice calls out. Emma follows the instructions and holds her breath and releases when she hears the beeps. This continues for some time. Emma starts getting annoyed every time the automated voice interrupts her day dream of being in a city with Lena. Like visiting the Eiffel Tower or the Colosseum. All the different foods they could try.

Finally Emma feels the machine sliding her out.

“Well done! You’re a very good breather!” The technician jokes causing Emma to snort.

“Well that's good… I guess.” Emma says while the technician unstraps her and removes the shields.

“Here.” Alex says while holding out her glasses.

Emma takes them and puts them on. She looks up at her sister who smiles brightly at her.

“Told you you could do it!”

Emma smiles back at her before slowly sitting up. Alex helps her to her feet again and they walk to the gurney.

“One of our top guys is looking over the scans now, they should let your surgeon know ASAP.” The technician says kindly as the intern pulls the sides up again.

“Thank you.” Emma smiles at the and waves when she’s being wheeled out. “Please don’t make me do that for a long time.”

“I promise.” Alex says while taking a hold of her sister’s hand. “How are you feeling?”

“Hungry.”

“Unfortunately you may not be able to eat. You will probably be nil by mouth until we know if your surgery will be today.” The intern interrupts.

Subconsciously Emma lowers her head and squeezes Alex’s hand tightly. Alex looks down at her sister, seeing how defeated Emma looks.

“Hey.” Scared yellow eyes look up at her. “You’ll be okay.”

Emma nods but remains quiet, lowering her head again as they make the way back to her room.

“Emma! How’d it go?” Kara’s cheerful voice makes Emma lookup as the gurney is put back in place.

“Was okay.” Emma softly says while Sarah installs the morphine drip.

“When you need pain relief just press this button.” Sarah says and Emma nods. Pressing the button immediately. The movement earlier had aggravated her pain.

A voice Emma didn’t expect spoke next. “Was it as bad as you thought?” Green eyes connect with Emma’s jaundice ones. A small smile breaks across Emma’s face.

“No. Though I didn’t shut my eyes quick enough when they slid me in. But I just imagined I was on a plane.”

“That’s a good way of describing it actually.” Eliza says while sitting next to Emma’s bed.

“And I don’t want to sound rude, but, Lee?” Emma’s gaze focuses back on her crush. “What are you doing here? I thought today you had back to back meetings.”

“I managed to do some rearranging. As it’s Friday many were happy to reschedule as it meant they could start their weekend sooner. And as it’s lunch time I brought everyone something.” Lena goes over to the coffee table and picks up the take away bags with Alex and Emma’s food in.

“Oh! I er…” Emma pale cheeks colour in a blush.

“She’s not allowed to eat anything at the moment.” Alex says as she takes the bag Lena holds out to her.

“Why not?!” Kara looks at her sister outraged.

“Incase I have surgery today.”

“Oh! I’m sorry Em.” Lena looks guiltily at the blonde, putting the bag containing Emma’s food back on the coffee table, out of Emma’s view. Though Emma knows Kara will likely be eating it soon anyway.

“Would you rather we ate somewhere else?” Emma notices Sam by the sofa, already eating her lunch. She quickly looks at everyone, almost laughing loudly at how conflicted Kara looks.

“No it’s fine.”

“Phew!” Kara starts eating again, in record time to make up for the few seconds she wasn’t eating.

“So where did you imagine you were flying too?” Sam asks to break up the silence.

“Either Paris, Rome or Athens.”

“Oo nice! Have you been there?” Sam asks with a bright smile.

Emma shakes her head. “No.”

“Maybe I can take you sometime?” Lena tilts her head at Emma and smiles at her.

“CanIcome?” Kara says with a mouth full of food.

“Kara!” Eliza scoffs.

“Was that in english?” Emma laughs loudly.

Kara swallows before trying again. “Sorry, I said, can I come?”

Alex wanted to kick her sister’s shin and shoot her a glare. Instead she looks at Sam who gently rolls her eyes. Alex smirks into her lunch.

“I’ll take you another time.” Lena smiles at her best friend. Secretly making a plan in her head of taking Emma on a week, maybe two week holiday to these cities. Maybe add a few more in that Emma would love.

“Aw okay.” Kara sighs heavily.

‘So oblivious!’ Alex thinks as she shakes her head slightly.

Suddenly a big yawn escapes Emma. “How am I so tired?” She rubs her face frustrated.

“Cause your body is going through a lot.” Alex says between mouthfuls. “Plus you haven’t been sleeping well. Not good quality sleep anyway.”

“Yea… What is that again?”

“You poor thing.” Kara reaches out and strokes Emma’s arm. Careful not to tug the wires attached to the morphine drip.

Emma smiles at her sister and feels her eyes growing heavy. She blinks, trying to keep sleep away as long as possible.

“Emma, sleep, it’s okay.” Her Mom stands and strokes Emma’s head.

“Lee’s here.” Emma says wearily. “Specially.”

“I’ll be here when you wake up Em.” Lena stands next to Eliza. She watches Emma’s yellow eyes slide close and open quickly before closing again repeating. Reaching out Lena takes Emma’s hand and rubs her thumb over it. “Sleep darling.”

Emma finally can’t fight it anymore and her eyes remain close.

[daniyasocspace]

FAMILY AFFAIR PART 1/?

Summary: Jaeyoung's older brother has been spiraling downwards and the leader is put in a difficult position of balancing his duties as a leader, brother and boyfriend.

Warnings: Swearing, Drugs, Alcohol, Suicidal Ideation

Characters: Jaeyoung, Hana (Mentioned - @starlightoffical​)

He thought everything had been sorted but once again, his father was calling with the urgent plea for Jaeyoung to help his older brother. Daewon had been spiraling downwards for the last year and a half since he caught his fiancée cheating with his - former - best friend. Two people he had trusted with his life, who he had been friends with since high school, who both stabbed him in the back in the worst way.

Jaeyoung had left Hana's apartment in a hurry, guilt pooling inside him; she was struggling too, and leaving her during a vulnerable moment had him feeling terrible.

As he started his car and pulled into the busy street, he dialed Daewon's cellphone number, cursing as it rang and rang. "God dammit, Dae!" He smacked his steering wheel in frustration. He then tried their younger sisters number, who answered immediately. "Naeun, have you been in contact with Dae recently?"

"Yes! He's a complete mess! I want to slap those two monsters for doing this to him! I can't take seeing him like this anymore, Oppa. Mother and Father are trying their best but he's so stubborn and distant now."

Jaeyoung took a deep breath, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. "I'm on my way to see him. I'll let you know how things go when I've left." Jaeyoung hangs up and pulls into the parking lot of Daewon's apartment minutes later.

"You! He is causing trouble again! He's disturbing the other tenants!" The landlord - a strict ahjumma who wasn't a fan of Daewon in the slightest, immediately confronted Jaeyoung as soon as he entered the lobby. With how disruptive his older brother could be, she still hadn't evicted him. Mostly due to the fact that their family was paying double the rent for him to continue living here, otherwise Daewon would have ended up in the streets by now.

"I am so sorry. I will go take care of him. I apologize for any troubles he's cost." Jaeyoung bows multiple times before rushing to the elevator, lunching the button for the fourth floor.

As soon as the door opens, he hears a loud crash of glass and angry voices. When he stepped out, Daewon was in the face of a slightly younger looking man, who looked terrified as he clutched a delivery bag to his chest.

"You fucking... jackass. I should... fucking cut your dick... off right here, right... now." Daewon's words were slurred, his face red and sweaty from all the alcohol he bad consumed. He could barely stand straight.

The delivery boy shrunk back, whimpering. "Please...Pease don't hurt me! I've only come to deliver food, sir." Jaeyoung rushed over, stepping between the two, apologizing profusely to the delivery man.

"Oh, little brother! You're...back again...Yah, cool...Fuck off now." Daewon reached a shaky arm out, attempting to shove Jaeyoung but instead ended up stumbling over himself. Jaeyoung caught him before he could fall, grunting as he draped the older boy over his shoulder and guided him down the hall and back into his apartment. 

"Sit down and take a deep breath," Jaeyoung pointed to the sofa. Daewon snorted, falling onto the couch with a grunt. "Y-you know I'm fine, littl b-brother." He insists, words slurred.

Jaeyoung goes to grab a bottle of water from the kitchen before joining him again, sitting next to the older boy. As he hands him the bottle, he notices a bottle of pulls dumped over onto the coffee table. "What are these, hyung? What were you going to do with these?" He asked, a frantic look on his face.

Daewon slurps up some water, laughing as he looks at the pills. "I was g-going to down them all, the u-usual game, you know?" He laughs again. "Naeun called just as i-i was about to swallow 'em all! Haha!"

Jaeyoung bites the inside of his cheek, shaking his head as he scoops up the pills and shoves them into his jacket pocket. The name on the name on the bottle wasn't his brothers, which concerned Jaeyoung even more.

Daewon was 28 years old, so no longer a young boy. He wasn’t a bad person by any means but he was struggling very badly - his break up had hit him hard, considering him and his ex-fiancée had been together sophomore year of college. As a hopeless romantic, she had been the one for him and he could not picture himself with anyone else. To catch who he thought was his one true love in bed with his (now former) best friend since childhood, it was too much for him to handle. Their family was trying their best to support and help him but it was getting harder and harder, each day.

"What is wrong today, Hyung? I thought you were getting better?" Jaeyoung had started to feel exasperated by his older brothers antics. He worried so much for him - much like the rest of their family - and it weighed heavily on him, making it difficult to balance his new life as a rookie idol and boyfriend, on top of family business related things. 

“That traitor got her pregnant now! Fucking twins, little brother! You know how much that hurts me? You know how bad I wanted children and she always turned it down, saying motherhood wasn’t for her and now she’s happily flaunting her fucking ultrasound pictures all over SNS! I loved her so much. I waited, thinking maybe some day she’d have a change of heart. I was always patient with her.” He looked much more alert and sounded more coherent as she spilled everything out, tears pouring from his eyes now.

“Jesus Christ, Dae.” Jaeyoung murmured, wrapping him in a hug. “I’m sorry, Hyung. You really don’t deserve any of this, but you cannot continue down this path. What about Mom and Dad? Little Mihi ? You’re her favorite brother out of the two of us. How do you think she would feel if she were to lose her favorite person in the whole world?”

Mihi was only twelve and had such a bright future ahead of her. Losing her favorite Oppa would certainly be an earth shattering moment for her. She was Daewon’s little gummy bear, as he always called her. She always looked up to him and he had practically raised her when their parents were far too busy with work.

Daewon froze, a flash of realization in his eyes as Jaeyoung’s words hit him. “How is she doing? I miss her so much, brother.”

“She’s great, from what Naeun and Haneul tell me. She’s excelling at science and math, as to be expected from the prodigy of the family.” Jaeyoung laughs softly, a fond smile on his face. He was proud of their baby sister and how smart she was for her age.

The two talked more and after forcing him to drink more water to help sober up, Daewon eventually started to nod off and Jaeyoung stayed by his side for a couple of hours, just to make sure he got enough rest and didn’t try anything silly.

(To Be Continued...)

[hadestownmodern]

This was literally called “bar bitch so Danielle loves me” In my google docs so here it is

Based off of a prompt I got over at @dilforpheus! Eurydice doesn’t handle women eyeing up Orpheus at the bar very well.   

She’s sitting at the bar, at the very end, textbooks filling the bartop before her. Four weeks into the semester she’s facing her first round of exams, and six courses at a time was providing more than enough to study for. Eurydice caught a glimpse of Orpheus, who just finished his set for the night, as he began to wipe down behind the bar and prep it for closing. She was incredibly proud of him- he balanced his courses, his music, his job, and his love for her- all while never faltering in his positivity or the beautiful smile she was so lucky to see on his face. 

He had just finished another long night of performing. Performing and singing endless praises and declarations of love for her. “My wonderful fiance, Eurydice. Isn’t it so exciting to call her that!” “My Eurydice, she’s all I seem to write about anymore.” “I was always told growing up that when you find the person the universe made for you, you feel this cosmic, otherworldly connection. I was definitely made for Eurydice.” 

Eurydice was sure, that in the next couple of weeks, once they slowly revealed their secret, his praises would include that of her carrying their child and his already deep, pure love for the baby they had yet to meet. 

She’s closing up her planner, crossing another paper off the ever growing list of assignments and exams to study for. Eurydice flips to the front of the calender and runs her thumb over her little black and white picture from her doctor's visit the week before. Eleven weeks now, she thinks to herself as a tiny smile graces her face. This is for them, Eurydice. Do it for them. 

Eurydice looks up, to watch Orpheus wipe down glasses, but her smile falters almost immediately. 

Who the fuck is that.

There's a girl, not much older than her if not the same age, leaning forward on the bar in front of Orpheus. The cut of her shirt didn’t leave much to the imagination, and Eurydice felt the urge to walk over and rip the padding right out of her push up bra. Orpheus, her sweet boy, was making polite conversation with the girl. Even if Orpheus couldn’t see what the girl was up to, Eurydice could. And damn, if it didn’t make her want to rip the cheap blonde extensions out of her hair. 

She slams the book shut as she walks over to Orpheus, tugging on her shirt -his, actually- so it wasn’t too tight around her middle. Eurydice knows she’s ridiculous to be so possessive, he’s marrying you, after all Eurydice, but she couldn’t help it. 

“I’ve always been fascinated by guitar players… so nimble with their fingers.” Eurydice hears the girl purr, eyeing Orpheus like a fresh pastry on display in a glass case.  “And you write songs..so you’re clearly creative. There's something to say about a man who..expresses himself.” The blonde drapes one hand on the bar, the other still on her chin. From where she’s standing Eurydice can see the pristine pink polish and suddenly she’s self conscious about the chipped black on her own nails.  “You looking for a new muse?” She hears escape the girl’s red painted lips, and it takes all she has not to wrap her hand around the girl’s neck right there. 

“Hmm?” Orpheus, clearly deep in thought, responds. Eurydice can see in the way he absently wipes the glass that something is occupying his mind. Probably new song lyrics or a melody for class. Orpheus, oblivious to the carrot dangled infront of him. “Oh? No, actually, i’m working on a song about my Eurydice. Just can’t seem to find the right words, you know?” He isn’t even looking at her, not really, just the polite smile he gives new customers all the time.

“I bet I could help bring a few words to mind..” The woman offers, biting her lip at Orpheus. 

Orpheus laughed  awkwardly, and went back to cleaning his dishes. Still in his own world, he hums under his breath, a melody he’s sang to her every night for a few weeks now, trying to will the words out of his brain and onto paper. It’s the same melody he repeats, over and over, as his thumbs run over his copy of their blurry little ultrasound picture, the one that sits in his guitar case and serves as a muse itself. 

“Yeah, a few words i’m sure. Whore, being one that comes to mind.” The statement falls out of Eurydice’s mouth before she can stop it, before she can think of the implications of what she’s about to do.

“And who are you, exactly?” The blonde hisses, snapping her head to look Eurydice over. And in truth, she knows she doesn’t look like much. She’s tiny and engulfed in his shirt. And she doesn’t feel very attractive, naked face and all. 

“Eurydice!” Orpheus squeaks, settling the glass down. His eyes are wide as he reaches out and takes her hand in a calming motion. He squeezes it, a silent reassurance that everything is okay. 

“All those pretty love songs he sings...who do you think those are about?” Eurydice snaps as she took a step closer at the same time the woman stood from her stool. She stood taller than Eurydice, but it didn’t matter much that she had to look up at her. “Think he’s just singing about blondes in bars?” 

The blonde looks her over, as if she’s sizing her up for a fight. Eurydice, she grew up on a street. She knows a fight when she sees one. She also knows she could win this if it weren’t for-

Well, fuck.

She couldn’t fight, not in this state. As much as she wanted to, as much as her possessive side said to stake her claim. This is her territory, Orpheus was hers. As much as her survival instincts said to fight for what she had- she had to protect that now, too. A feral part of her said to bite, to bring out claws. But something else, something she couldn’t explain, told her to stop. Told her to go. 

“And what, you speak for him? I think he can make the choice himself, and I think he likes what he sees-” 

“Alright, listen here you stupid slut-” Eurydice is slipping her jacket off when she feels a firm hand on her upper arm. 

“Eurydice! I need help. Now.” It’s Persephone, whispering sharply in her ear, though she’s glaring at the young woman before Eurydice. “It’s important.”

Persephone nods to Hermes, who intervenes with Orpheus as Eurydice is dragged away by Persephone. Eurydice cannot hear the conversation, but can see the woman’s hands flailing in rage before she stomps out of the bar. Orpheus is left looking embarrassed and bewildered as Hermes speaks to him now. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Persphone growls, sitting Eurydice down in the chair in the back office. “You are eleven weeks pregnant, you do not get to throw fists in this bar right now.”

“You didn’t see the way she was talking to him..or the way she looked at him!” Eurydice defended, arms crossing over her chest. She looked away, still silently fuming at the interaction that in the past would have been settled with blood on her knuckles. 

“You think I never watched some little intern hit on my husband right infront of me? Some girl in her tiny little skirt acting like you don’t exist.” Persephone’s sitting on the desk, legs crossed and leaning on her arms for support. “Sister, if I threw hands every time I saw it, Hades would be getting me out of assault charges.” She slid her a bottle of water, but the expression on her face remained the same. “You can’t let ‘em get to you. Orpheus is a kind, talented man. Girls are gonna want a piece of him for a long time. You can’t go swinging on all of ‘em.” 

“Yeah, well, she looked at me like I didn’t exist.” Eurydice sipped at the water, still unable to look at persephone without a little shame. 

“And Orpheus looks at you like you spin the world. What would you prefer?” Persephone nudges her foot a little. “He loves you more than anything on this earth. You can’t let some girl get to you. You’re the one he’s gonna marry. You’re the one who’s havin the kid. You can’t worry about every girl who flirts with him. Trust me. Took me long enough to accept it, but look at me now.”

“How’d you get used to it?” Eurydice raises an eyebrow as she notices the smirk on Persephone’s face. 

“...a lot of lunch-break visits.”

[omeliastoriesbyari]

Our baby

This takes place in s16x02 when Amelia tells Link she’s pregnant.

“Link I’m pregnant,” Amelia said very nervously to reaction of this pregnancy.

“Um Amelia the isn’t mines and can’t be mines,” Link said calmly taking her hands in his.

“What? Yes it is you’re the only person I’ve been sleeping with since Owen,” Amelia said taking her hands from his.

“Amelia I’m infertile from chemo therapy I can’t have babies and I know this for sure,” Link said.

Amelia pulled him into a tight hug because she felt bad for telling him she was pregnant with his baby and he can’t have kids.

“I’m so sorry Link I didn’t know,” Amelia said softly.

“ It’s perfectly fine but I hope you’ll still let me be in your life and hopefully your baby’s too,” Link said happy-fully.

Even though Link knew the baby wasn’t his he still wanted to be there for Amelia and support her through every decision. Link really enjoyed Amelia’s company tho they’ve been only been hanging out for a month or two.

After her conversation with Link Amelia went to find Owen. Amelia pulled out her phone and sent a quick text to Owen telling him to meet her at the park they need to talk about something important.

Amelia sat at the park patiently waiting for Owen, she took out her phone and started playing a game when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked up to see Owen smiling above her with Leo in his arms. She smiled seeing her little boy with him cause she thought he wasn’t going to bring Leo.

“Hey you brought Leo with you,” Amelia smiled.

“Yea he really isn’t the biggest fan of Teddy yet so I thought I’d bring him with since he adores you so much,” Owen said taking a seat next to Amelia.

“But what’s up why’d you text me to meet you at the park?” Owen asked nervously.

“Well I was talking to Carina and I find out I’m pregnant,” Amelia said grabbing Leo out of Owen’s arms.

“Aw congratulations,” Owen said with a kind of sad look on his face.

“At first I thought Link was the father but turns out Link can’t have kids,” Amelia said looking at Owen to see if he’ll catch on.

“ Who’s the father Amelia?” Owen asked looking at her.

“Owen Hunt is the father of the baby” Amelia said playing with Leo’s fingers.

“Oh .... Wait the baby is mine’s,” Owen said smiling.

“Why are you so happy you just had a baby and you’re newly into a relationship?” Amelia asked looking at him as if he was crazy.

“Because I’ve always dreamt of you carrying our baby,” Owen said.

“But I think we should continue seeing the people we are seeing and just co-parent this little peanut,” Amelia said placing her hand on her stomach.

“This is what were calling the baby Peanut?” Owen asked laughing.

“Yea I guess since we don’t know the gender yet and the since the baby is little why not,” Amelia smiled.

“Ok our peanut it is,” Owen said placing his hand over hers on her stomach.

Couple months later

Owen has been at all of Amelia’s doctor’s appointment they also know the gender they refuse to tell anyone until the baby is born. Amelia wanted to keep it a secret their baby is perfectly healthy and their little peanut is a girl.

It early in the morning Owen is at home with Teddy, Allison, and Leo.

“Hey Teddy, Leo and I are going to see Amelia we’ll be back later ok?” Owen yelled while he was getting Leo ready.

“Yea sure tell Amelia I said Hello and how is pregnancy doing her?” Teddy yelled back.

Owen told about Amelia’s pregnancy and how he was the father cause he didn’t want to keep it from her. Teddy handled the situation well she understood but she felt as if she was losing Owen to Amelia. Due to the fact that he never misses one of Amelia’s doctor appointments and he always calls and checks on her. Teddy would also caught him staring at Amelia lustfully sometimes and if Amelia tells him she’s having a certain craving at anytime he will stop what he was doing to get it for her. But Owen was good with the kids he is always there when Teddy needs help with Allison and he spends a lot of time with Allison.

At Amelia’s doctor appointment

Amelia is now six months pregnant and looking amazing she has put on about 10-15 pounds this pregnancy.

“How are you feeling Amelia?” Owen asked placing his hand on her growing stomach.

“I’m feeling fat cause peanut is always hungry I think she’s going to be a big baby,” Amelia said smiling.

Leo pointed to her stomach babbling something her and Owen couldn’t make out until he said....

“Baby,” Leo said putting his hand on Amelia bare stomach.

Owen and Amelia just sat there in shock cause they never heard him say that.

“Good job mr.Leo you are correct there is an baby in there,” Carina said as she put the cold gel on Amelia stomach.

“Would you like to help to look for the baby?” Carina said as she reached her arms out towards him and reached for and she picked him up letting him help her.

“When did he learn how to say baby?” Amelia asked Owen who just shrugged his shoulder cause Leo has never said that before.

“Okay there she is and look at what she’s doing,” Carina said turning the screen towards them.

Amelia and Owen looked at the screen so see their baby girl sucking her thumb. Amelia and Owen couldn’t but to smile because it was too freaking cute. From ultrasound they could already tell she had Amelia’s lips and nose and everything else was Owen’s.

Owen looked over at Amelia to see she was crying he smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes. He knew Amelia was scared to go through with this pregnancy since what happened to Christopher. He smiled because he knew how much she wanted this baby and she wanted their baby to be healthy.

“She looks just like you,” Amelia said still wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Thank you Mr. Leo you were a great assistant and Amelia you can schedule your next appointment before you leave.” Carina said before leaving out the room.

When they left the doctor’s appointment they decided they would go baby shopping for the nursery at Amelia’s condo. First they were going to drop Leo off at Mer’s for a little bit cause Leo isn’t the biggest fan of shopping or being patient enough to stay in line.

Owen and Amelia walked through the baby store and picked all type of things out like a crib, high chair, car seat, bassinet, clothes, blankets, bottles, breast pumps, toys, decoration, and etc. Amelia and Owen decided the theme of the nursery would be white and gray with ballerinas everywhere. While they were on their way to the register Amelia saw a beautiful frame that said my family and she grabbed it.

At Amelia’s condo

Owen just got done painting the nursery walls gray while Amelia was washing all the baby clothes they bought for peanut. Owen started working on putting the crib together when Amelia came in and sat in the rocking chair.

“Owen do you have any name idea for our sweet little girl?” Amelia asked folding clothes in the rocking chair.

“Yea just a few you?” Owen asked screwing some screws in the bed.

“I got two wanna hear em?” Amelia said.

“Of course I got one name I really love for this baby,” Owen said.

“Now I wanna know the one name you have for peanut,” Amelia said.

“Okay I really like the name Stormy for the baby’s name,”Owen said.

“That funny cause the two names I had were Stormy and Emma,” Amelia said laughing.

“Then I guess her name is Stormy,” Amelia said looking at her belly.

Owen finished the crib and walked over towards the rocking chair and put his hand on her baby bump rubbing it up and down.

“Hey Stormy I’m your dad,” Owen said.

Amelia laughed but when Owen said that Stormy kicked.

“Ok now that we have a first name what about her middle name I really like Rose or Elsie.” Owen said.

“I like Elsie but how about Emerson I want a strong sounding middle name,” Amelia said.

“Okay I like that Stormy Emerson Hunt or Shepherd- Hunt?” Owen said.

“She’s just Hunt,” Amelia said.

After they finished the nursery Amelia had a surprise Owen and Leo more for Leo than Owen. She told Owen to follow her to the spare room in her condo. She stop at the door then opened it the room was designed for Leo there were dinosaurs everywhere because Leo has been so into dinosaurs lately.

“Amelia he is going to love this,”Owen smiled.

“I hope so I wanted to start spending more time with Leo if that’s ok,” Amelia said.

“Of course why not he freaking loves you,” Owen said.

Owen and Amelia enjoyed their day together Leo stayed with Amelia and Owen went back home with Teddy and Allison.

2 months later

Amelia was sitting on her couch watching a movie with Link. Link had his hand on her stomach Amelia was cool with it but it didn’t feel as when Owen would rub her belly. Stormy started kicking extremely hard and it was starting to get painful for Amelia. Amelia started to shift and turn in her seat.

“Are you okay Amelia?” Link asked.

“Um the baby is starting to kick extremely hard mind talking to it for me?” Amelia asked putting her hand on her stomach.

“Okay Hi baby i’m link your mommy’s boyfriend I can’t wait to meet you and see how much you look like your mommy,” Link spoke which didn’t help at all.

Amelia knew what would make her calm down but she didn’t want to do it since Link was there. Usually when stormy was kicking like this the sound of Owen’s voice would calm her down a bit. Amelia sat there a couple more minutes trying to handle the pain.

“Amelia please just call Owen I know you don’t want to do it cause I’m here and you think I’m going to be upset but I won’t this is his child there isn’t anything I could do about that,” Link said handing her, her phone.

Amelia pressed on Owen’s name and the phone rang three times before he answered.

“Hi Amelia,” Owen said sounding as if he was sleeping.

“I’m sorry if I woke you but the baby is kicking really hard and won’t calm down,” Amelia sound.

“It’s fine I just put Leo and Alli to sleep so put me on speaker,” Owen said.

Amelia did as Owen said and put he on speaker sitting the phone on her belly.

“You’re on speaker phone,” Amelia said.

“Hi baby mommy told me you’re giving her a hard time,”Owen spoke and stormy calmed down entirely.

“I think she’s going to be a daddy’s girl cause she stopped thank you Owen,” Amelia said smiling.

Link saw the smile on Amelia and that said it all she was falling for Owen again and there was no stopping it.

“I’m just going to go,” Link said getting up.

“Why what’s wrong?” Amelia said getting up.

“I know you don’t see it but I do you’re still in love with Owen and now that you’re having his baby you’re falling more and more in love him everyday and I can’t sit here and watch you fall for him. Amelia I like you very much and I want what’s best for you and that little baby and me and you being together isn’t what’s best,” Link said.

“Link I’m sorry I do like you a lot I don’t even know how to stop falling for Owen,”Amelia said about to cry.

Link sat next to Amelia and pulled her in a hug he knew she couldn’t help her feeling but he would continue to support her and be there for her. He knew they could have a very great friendship instead of relationship.

Link kissed her forehead and said.. “Amelia I will continue to support and be there for you as a friend okay?”

Amelia nodded her head little did she know Owen was still on the phone and he heard everything. Owen smiled cause he was still deeply in love with but thought it was best to let her go and be with Teddy.

A month later

Amelia’s labor

Owen held Amelia’s as she walked around the hospital to help her labor going by faster. After while of walking they were back in Amelia’s hospital room. Amelia was handling labor like an champ. Amelia labor lasted 7 hours before she brought their beautiful baby girl into the world.

“Good job Amelia here she is,” Carina said as she sat stormy on to her mother’s chest.

“You did amazing Amelia she’s gorgeous,” Owen said kissing Amelia forehead.

“I know she looks just like you I love you Owen,” Amelia said outta breathe.

“I love you more thank you for bring our beautiful stormy into this world and for loving me and Leo,” Owen said kissing her lips passionately.

Owen and Teddy broke three weeks ago because Owen told her truth about he was feeling they agreed to co-parent and she’s finally with someone who loves her and only her.

An hour later Mer and Maggie walked in with Leo and Teddy and Tom brought Allison too. Amelia smiled she looked at her and stormy family. Amelia asked Carina to take a picture of them case this is the perfect picture to put in the frame she bought for the nursery.

“Okay you have to tell us this beautiful baby’s name.” Teddy said looking at Amelia smiling.

“Alright her name is Stormy Emerson Hunt,” Amelia said looking down at her beautiful baby girl before passing her to Owen.

[4llmywr1tings]

Gender Reveal

365 Days of Jensen - Day 5 Jensen X Reader (eventual) Words 1,225 A/N: reviving my 365 days of Jensen series - and reediting it since tumblr was a jerk.. Tagging: @autoblocked @simplycheyenneautumn @monkeymcpoopoo

After what seemed like only a sum total of three hours – maybe only two of sleep – you were jolted out of a deep sleep when all three of your girls catapulted themselves on to your bed. Even though you thought Harper would be the first to enquire about Jensen, it was Piper – your baby – who was the first to ask questions. “Mommy, who da man on couch?” Was her first question. “That’s Jensen,” Harper replies. “Remember? From my TV show that I love?” “But his name Dean!” your three year old counters. “That’s his name on the TV show Pipe.” Sage replies. “His real name is Jensen.” “Oh. He looks funny.” “That isn’t very nice Piper,” Harper admonishes. You were sure it was because she was as much of a Dean fan as you were. “No. He snorin’. It looks funny.”

“Well,” you stand and get out of bed. “Next time you start snoring we’ll take a video so you can see how funny you look,” you reply. “Go make your beds, and quietly get dressed and go take the dogs out to relieve their business. DO NOT WAKE HIM UP.” You yell after your daughters, who had ran out of the room. Thankfully by the time you had made your way downstairs to the kitchen, the girls were outside playing with the dogs and hadn’t woken Jensen up. After brewing a cup of coffee for Jensen, and cup of tea for yourself, you could hear him starting to stir. “Here,” you reply quietly as you sit down on the edge of the couch. “For the hangover?” “You are a godsend.” He chuckles, taking the cup hastily. “Please tell me that those girls didn’t wake you up and you’ve just been pretending to be asleep?” “No. I’m okay,” he stretches and sits up, taking a sip. “I didn’t hear a thing.” “Okay. Are you sober enough for me to take you back to your truck?” “Busy day today?” “Sorta, I have to drop the girls off at my parent’s house, because my mom is their teacher and then I’ve got to take Dean Winchester to the vet and then I’ve got my first appointment with my new OB. Gonna find out if I get a boy or a girl this time around. Then grocery shopping since I have nothing here.” “You don’t know what you’re having?” “Nope. And it’s just about time to find out too.” You stand and let him sit up all the way. “Are you going alone?” “I’m pretty used to it, to be honest.” “I’m not going to let you go to that alone,” he replies, standing. He places his hands on his knees. “But you’d better drive. I’m not sober enough yet.” “You don’t have to do that Jensen, I know it’s a lot to ask and people could see.” “I don’t care if people can see.” He replies. “I want to do it and that’s that. Don’t argue with me?” “Bossy.” You scoff. After an eye roll, you motion for him to follow you. “Come on, let’s see what we’ve got to make those girls for breakfast.”

It was about twenty minutes before the girls came in, ready for the one scrambled egg each that you had made for them. “Is this it mommy?” Sage replied looking to her small portion on her plate. “Yep. It’s it. I gotta get to the store after I drop you off at grandma and grandpa’s house. I promise that you can have three eggs tomorrow, okay?” She sighs and nods, and looks down to her plate and takes a bite. Everyone – save Piper – is quiet while eating breakfast. Piper is happy to point things out to you and to Jensen as you’re the only ones who will listen. She finds the tattoo of the Jaybird on his arm intriguing and before breakfast is over, your youngest is content to lean into Jensen and hold her hand on his arm.

“Alrighty, who do we have here?” The OB walks in, looking to your file and then to you sitting with Jensen. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N)?” “That’s me.” You give the aging doctor a smile and she looks back to the file. “Perfect, welcome to River Place, I’m Doctor Shepherd. Are you new to Austin, the two of you?” “Uh, no. I’m a local. I’m just joining her, she’s new though.” “And no father? You aren’t the father?” Doctor Shepherd asked. “Nope, he isn’t in the picture anymore.” You reply. “He’ll probably be at some of these. If not my mother or father or my oldest who is thirteen.” “You look good for a mom with teenager. She must not have aged you too much yet.” “She’s only in her first six months of being a teenager so she might age me by the time this one comes.” Both the doctor and Jensen laugh. “Now did you have a birthing plan with your previous OB?” “No, we were about to, but this move was really last minute.” You nod. “Okay. Today I think we’ll start with a check up, make sure you’re okay, and we’ll do an ultrasound. We’ll set an appointment for next week to go over your birthing plan. Do you know the sex yet?” “I was hoping to find out today?” “Of course, let’s see if we can find out the gender today and we’ll go from there.” You give her a nod and get yourself situated on the exam table, pulling your shirt up over your chest and wait. Once you had gotten through the cold ultrasound gel, you waited as the doctor went through checking for a heartbeat and everything essential to your appointment. After a few minutes, she stops and looks to you. “Alright, now do you want another girl, or would you like to have a boy?” “Honestly?” you ask with a chuckle. “I would like a boy, but I’ll take healthy.” “Well, you’ve got a healthy baby boy. It looks like your going to around mid November. Was that what your last doctor said?” “Yeah. She thought before thanksgiving.” You replied. “Well, would you like 3-d sonograms this time around? We like to give em’ out at least once.” You give her a nod and a smile and she wipes away the gel and then hands you a second towel. “Take your time, and your sonograms should be at imaging in about ten minutes. Go ahead and set up an appointment for next week and we’ll start talking more then. Okay?” You give her a nod and smile. “Okay, I’m sure I don’t need to remind you about prenatals and all of that?” “Nope, that one I’m good at taking.” You smile and continue to wipe at your stomach. Your doctor smiles and retreats, out of the room, letting you finish what you needed to do. You look to Jensen who had a big smile plastered across his face. “That poor kid is going to be outnumbered.” “Well, hopefully you’ll help and even some things out. I know that two against four isn’t even, but it’s better than one.” “Of course,” he laughs and holds out his hand to help you down. “I hope that you’ll let me come around more often.” “Yeah. My girls really like you. And I do too. I think I’ll keep you around."

[hannah-khoury-deserves-better]

Take Me Home Chapter 3

Summary: Hannah gets some unexpected news and she and Tammy have to figure out their new reality.

Words - 2180

Warnings: none

Pairings: Hannah Khoury/Tammy Gregorio, Tammy Gregorio/Sebastian Lund (Friendship) Hannah Khoury/Jack Sloane (Friendship), Jack Sloane/Leon Vance, others to be added.

A False Spring

Hannah wandered around  her kitchen, luckily she had managed to sleep some the night before. She could hear Naomi’s footsteps from the hallway, she was up and getting ready for school

“Naomi, get ready we have to leave in ten minutes” she called out.

As Hannah made Naomi’s lunch, happy that her new child had only made her sick once so far, and if she had to get sick again, hopefully would be after she dropped Naomi off at school.

“Mom, are you okay?”

“Yeah baby I'm fine why?” Hannah asked as she put a sandwich in Naomi's lunchbox.

“I heard you get sick this morning and you’re acting weird.” Naomi replied as has came up to Hannah.

“Just a lot on my mind baby.”

“When are you moving in with me and Dad?” Naomi asked, her face tilting up to look at Hannah.

“Baby we talked about this, your dad and I aren't married anymore, remember?” Hannah said as she brushed some of Naomi's hair back.

“That's not fair mom.”

“I know.” Hannah sighed.

“Go get your shoes we're about to be late.”

---

As Doctor Mary Riggen walked in, she greeted Hannah, “Hey Agent Khoury, how are you doing today?”

Hannah who was sitting on the exam table, in the paper gown they had given her “Okay I think, I've been sick a couple of times but the exhaustion is the worse part.”

“Well those symptoms should hopefully die down in about a month for you.” Doctor Riggen said as she looked at her tablet “Your blood test confirms that you are in fact pregnant.”

“Congratulations. But I want to do an ultrasound today, both to confirm how far along you are, and make sure everything looks good. I see on your chart that you’ve had several miscarriages.”

Hannah nodded “I want to do as much as we can, I want a healthy baby.”

“Okay lean back then, sorry the gel is cold.” Doctor Riggen said as she adjusted the probe, “And there is your baby” she said pointing at a small blob on the screen.

Hannah felt some tears prick at her eyes, as she looked at her new child that was growing inside her.

“Okay Agent Khoury, you can sit up.” As she handed Hannah a towel to wipe her stomach off with.

“So you are seven weeks along. Everything looks good, try and take it easy in the field.” Doctor Riggen said as she made notes on the tablet. “I'm giving you a prescription for prenatal vitamins. I want to see you again when you are twelve weeks.”

The front desk will help you make a appointment and give you a copy of the ultrasound if you want it. Do you have any questions for me?” She said as she looked up at Hannah.

“I don't think so, but I can call if needed correct?”

“Yes anytime. We have a 24/7 line here. My extension is 482.” Doctor Riggen said as she left the room.

Hannah leaned back, her pregnancy seemed much more real now, even more than it had before. Her thoughts however were cut off by her phone ringing.

“Yeah Loretta.” She said as she answered it, listening to Loretta speak “okay on the way. I should be there in about thirty minutes. Have the team get started.” She said as she hung up the phone and moved to get redressed and go to the new crime scene.

---

The sun beat down on the ally near Jackson square, the wind was picking up and pushing trash about. Hannah walked over towards the group of vehicles she could see, she pushed through the crowd towards Lasalle, who was waiting for her with her jacket and hat.

“Hey boss, Naomi okay?”

“Yeah, she’s fine, just needed to do something before I came in today,” Hannah replied as she pulled the jacket and hat on.

“So what do we have? And who found the body?”

“Tourists that were coming back from a walk about Jackson Square and found em” Chris replied as they walked towards to the crime scene.  

“Ah, Hannah there you are. We have Captain Gregory Hant he has multiple stab wounds including one to the chest, which I'm guessing is the cause of death.” Loretta said.

“But we also have some type of substance on the captain’s body. Sebastian can try and identify it when I get him back to autopsy.”

The substance was grabbed by the wind and blew towards the team as they listened to Loretta.

“It's okay I've already got a sample of it. I don't think we need to worry.”

“Thanks, Loretta. Street cams?” Hannah asked.

“Camera coverage is light here, I'll ask the businesses if they have angles here,” Tammy said.

“Great, Lasalle, you and I will head back to the squad room see what we can find out,” Hannah ordered.

---

Hannah looked up at Chris “Ready?”

“Yeah what do ya got,” he replied as he entered into the center of the room.

“Captain Gregory Hant worked on the wharves, he was in charge of buying fresh produce for the Navy.” Hannah said as she brought up his file “recently however he's been accused of mishandling funds. Other than that his service records clean.”

Chris nodded “married with a four-year-old son. Wife said he's been distant lately, but was a loving father.”

Hannah bit her lip, “So, no clear reason to murder him?”

“I might have something” Tammy hollered as she walked in, “One of the cameras caught this near the time of death” clicking on her keyboard before gesturing to the screen. There was a man in a dark uniform and he came out of the alley a knife in hand before wiping it down and throwing it in the sewer grate.

“Was that a marine that just killed our victim?” Chris asked slowly.

“Looks like it,” Tammy said.

“Okay, Gregorio get with Patton see if he can find this guy somewhere else, get a better angle.”

Hannah said before turning to Chris, “Lasalle look into anyone who might have had problems with the victim, see if you can find who accused him of mishandling the funds”.

“On it, boss” Chris said as he headed to his desk.

“What about you?” Tammy asked.

“I'm going to the morgue for an update from Loretta,” Hannah said as she left the office.

---

Hannah walked into the JPSO building, looking around for Loretta’s lab.

A warm dulcet voice came from behind her, “Hannah, here for an update?” Loretta asked as she came past her.

Hannah blinked out of her daydreaming, “Yes I am. What exactly are we dealing with here Loretta?”

Loretta gestured  as she made to the table, “We are dealing with a vicious stabbing. The killer wanted to cause maximum pain before allowing him to die. Captain Hant took stabs to his shoulder, both hips and grazes to his ribs and short puncture wounds to his legs,” the coroner pointed to the x-ray photos of the victim’s body.

“The causes of death is dissection of the aorta. The blow to the throats was postmortem.”

Taking a deep breath and pointing to the screen “The substance found appears to be mold of some type, he had also breathed it in shortly before death.”

“How can you know when he breathed in the substance?” Hannah asked.

“It was present in his sinus cavity but there was no inflammation so the body didn't have enough time to react to it,”

Hannah took a deep breath “What about the team? Do we need to be worried?”

Loretta shook her head, hair covered by the purple and tan scrub hat she wore. “No the team should be fine, the mold had degraded below the infective dose, and no one has a compromised immune system.”

Hannah paused in her pacing, “What about an unborn child. What would exposure do?”

“As long as the mother isn't infected the child should be fine. Why?” Loretta looked at Hannah, her dark eyes seemingly seeing through her.

“I'm seven weeks pregnant,” Hannah confessed, looking up briefly before dropping her eyes back to to the ground.

“Hannah that's wonderful!” Hannah smiled softly.

“What does Ryan think? He must be pleased.” Loretta said as she rounded the autopsy table.

“He doesn't know. I got pregnant the day before he signed the divorce papers. I'm not sure when I'm going to tell him or Naomi. Or how.” Her smile dropped as she explained the aftermath of it, her eyes still locked on the ground.

Loretta leaned her head to one side. “What do you mean?”

Hannah took a deep breath before starting “Ryan and I, really wanted another baby after we had Naomi, but I had five miscarriages after having her. The last one five years ago, came after I was at work, helping with this big op, I was almost three months along. That miscarriage was the beginning of the end for us. He blamed me for losing his baby.”

Hannah shook her head. “After the group made an attempt on my life and Ryan and Naomi were nearly killed. I sent divorce papers. He finally signed them but if he knows I'm having another baby. He’ll take custody the moment I give birth.” Hannah turned her head up to see Loretta “I can't make the mistakes I made with Naomi. I want this baby.”

Loretta pulled Hannah into a hug, feeling Hannah's body crumple against her before tears soaked her shoulder.

“Let's get you some tea sweetheart.”

---

Sebastian walked into the morgue looking at a tablet “so I figured out what kind of mold it is. Did you know there's over a hundred thousand types? Which is kind of terrifying if you think about it.”

“Sebastian dear, what did you find?” Loretta interrupted him.

He looked up and found a slightly teary looking Hannah sitting next to Loretta both had tea mugs in their hands.

“Oh, it's Stachybotrys Chartarum, black mold. Unfortunately, it's kind of common, it likes damp and warm places.”

“So all of New Orleans,” Hannah groaned as she put her mug back on Loretta’s desk. “Let's head back to the office, see if the others have had better luck. Thank you, Loretta.”

“You're welcome dear. My door is always open.” Loretta said as she picked up the mugs and went to clean them.

----

Hannah and Sebastian walked into the office together, while he split to the side to upload a map. Hannah turned to look as Chris, a questioning look on her face. “Did you find anyone with problems against the Captain?”

“Kinda. His brother in law, Sam Grady, has fought him several times, the last one two weeks ago, got the police called on ‘em. But he's out of town so he didn't do it.”

“At least not personally.” Sebastian pointed out.

“Also his second in command at the wharfs, Commander Lucas Thiy, is the one that filled the report against him. He's currently working on taking supplies out to a boat, due back in a hour. I'll pick him up then.”

“Okay take Sebastian with you for backup. And talk to him there, just in case.” Chris nodded and gestured for Sebastian to follow him out.

Hannah shook her head and went to see where Tammy and Patton where on finding the suspect.

She walked into Patton’s office “hey please tell me, you have good news.”

“Nope sorry boss, pretty quickly after the first time we see him that Gregorio found we only have a few more shots of him.” Patton said, shaking his head.

“Okay what are you doing then.” Hannah asked.

“I'm running with Gregorio’s help, my new program. It should be able to figure out our killer’s info. Like height weight that kinda thing.”

“Do programs that do that not already exist? And it can be mistaken by things like clothes and thick soled shoes.”

Patton gasped, “Not my program. It's written to take all that into account.”

Hannah turned to Tammy “And your doing what?”

“I'm trying to figure out his training. From how he walks and kills, I'm not thinking marine anymore.” Tammy replied her eyes glued to the screen.

“Okay I'm going to go start tracking the captain’s movements throughout the city the day he died.” Hannah said as she left the room.

----

Tammy walked into the main office and smiled she and Hannah were the only ones left in the building.

“Hey, what are you doing” she asked as she sat on the corner of Hannah's desk.

“Trying to keep up with the paperwork that comes with being lead agent,” Hannah said as she lent back in her chair.

“Oh I never want to do more paperwork than I do now.” Tammy said with a laugh.

“So you want to get out of here. Dinner and a movie at my place?” Hannah asked softly.

“Naomi’s back with Ryan. It's just us.”

“Sure, let me get my jacket.” Tammy said moving back to her desk, before meeting Hannah at the door, the two walking out hand in hand.

[dynowrites]

Dacee Family Surprise

Co-written with @obfuscateyummy

Tagged: @obfuscateyummy @giraffe-puppy @madpanda75 @southern-magnolia @katmstanton @onelovesr @lyssa1385

Word count: ~1.4k

Damian: 7

Dominick: 2

Macee woke up cuddled close to Dante with a smile. She loved waking up next to him everyday, it was a dream come true. As she got out of bed, she went to wake the boys and went to the kitchen to begin breakfast. Dominick ran into the kitchen and went to sit at his seat the the table.

“Morning, mami!” Dom smiled brightly at his mother. She nodded as her son as Damian came in, still half asleep.

“Good morning, Damian.” Macee called as she began to make the breakfast. Macee went to to pour him a glass of milk when she felt extremely nauseous. She covered her mouth and rushed off to bathroom. She got sick and finished up quickly before heading back to the kitchen.

“Mami sick?” Dominick called out. Dante finally came downstairs and yawned.

“What about mami being sick?” Dante asked as he kissed Macee’s cheek softly as he went to help her with breakfast.

“It’s nothing. I’m just hungry.” Macee brushed it off as she gave the kids their drinks.

Macee and Dante finished making breakfast and sat down to eat with their boys. As soon as they were finished, Macee and Dante started to clean up the dishes. They sent Damian upstairs to start getting ready for school. Macee carried Dominick upstairs to get him ready for daycare. Soon, her stomach felt uneasy. She has got Dominick’s pants on and ran out of the room. “Mami?” Dominick called after her as Dante walked past.

“Where is mami, buddy?” Dante asked his youngest son.

Dominick pointed towards the bathroom. Dante soon heard the sound of Macee getting sick. He rushed to the bathroom. He bend down next to his wife and held her hair for her. “Mace, everything okay doll?” He asked.

“Y-yeah, I think I’m just nervous about the case today. I’m not sure we have enough evidence to put them away..” Macee said as Dante helped her up.

“You’ll get em, doll. You always do.” Dante said. He smirked at his wife,

“Are you sure that’s what’s wrong.” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I-I’m not sure… I know we’ve been…” Macee thought as she began to count her her fingers. “I’ve been stressed and I haven’t had my you know what lately. It’s just stress… I’m sure…” Macee said as she flushed the toilet and quickly washed her hands.

“I’ll go to the store after dropping Dom off at daycare. I’ll pick up a few tests-“

“Shhh! Not so loud. I don’t want the boys hearing. I’m just, afraid it will happen again and I don’t want to give their hopes up.” Macee bit her lip as she looked at herself in the mirror.

“Relax, doll. You go get ready for work and I’ll finish getting Dom dressed. Okay? I’ll take Damian to the bus stop. Just relax and get dressed.” Dante smiled as he kissed his wife’s lips before heading to finish getting their youngest dressed.

“Mami okay?” Dominick asked as Dante nodded.

“Mami’s tummy hurts her. She’s okay though.” Dante said with a smile as he helped the boy put his socks on.

“Daddy?” Damian said as Dante turned around to see his oldest ready for school. “Where’s mami?”

“Mami tummy hurt,” Dominick said.

“Yeah, mami’s not feeling too well...she’s getting ready for work. I’m gonna take you to the bus stop, and Dom to daycare” Dante said.

“Can we tell mami bye?” Damian asked.

“Of course,” Dante said as he led the boys down the hall to his and Macee’s bedroom.

“Doll?” Dante said as he slowly opened the door. He smiled as Macee said on the bed brushing her curly hair. “They wanted to say goodbye.”

“Bye mami!” Damian said as he hugged his mother.

“Have a great day at school, Damian, I love you.” Macee said.

“I love you too, mami.” Damian said.

Dominick was next, “Mami love you” he said.

“I love you too, baby boy,” Macee said as she kissed him on the cheek..

Dante smiled as he kissed Macee’s lips. “I love you, Mace.” He said against her lips.

“I love you too, cariño. See you tonight.” Macee said as the boys left and she finished getting ready.

The day seemed to drag on. The nausea subsided thought the day and Macee began to think maybe Dante was right. Once she got home, she was first greeted by Luna and Maverick, then Damian and Dominick. “Mami!” The boys screamed running to the door.

“I missed you boys.” Macee said as she hugged them tight. “Where’s daddy?” She asked.

“In the kitchen,” Damian said.

Macee walked into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around Dante. “How was work doll?” Dante asked.

“Stressful. D-did you get the….you know?” Macee asked.

“Yeah, they’re upstairs. Y-you think you are?” Dante asked.

Macee shrugged her shoulder, “I rather be sure.” Macee headed upstairs and Dante followed her. Dante had bought two different brands of tests. Macee took one out of each box. She peed on each test stick. The next five minutes seemed to drag on for an eternity. Once it was time, she looked at the tests shocked.

“Well? A-are we…?” Dante asked Macee as she opened the bathroom door. She looked at the tests before fire her husband.

“This one says negative… but this one says positive.” Macee stared at the tests in disbelief.

“I can run to the bodega down the street to get another if you want.” Dante told her. Macee shook her head and sighed.

“Let me call my sister. Hopefully she’s not too busy and can schedule me in for some type of test.” Macee left the bathroom after cleaning up the tests and heading to the bedroom. Dante nodded as he went back downstairs to finish cooking. Once Macee called Aymee, she waited.

“Hey, Mace! What’s going on?” Aymee said cheerfully. Macee let out a sigh of relief as she smiled some.

“You busy? I need something from you.” Macee asked her little sister.

“I just got off work. Is something wrong?” Aymee asked with concern. Macee laughed softly.

“Uh, not really. I was wondering if I could stop by the hospital and see if you could run a test for me.” Macee asked while biting her lip.

“If you meet me here within the next hour I can get you in. What do you need?” Aymee asked as Macee left the bedroom and began to head downstairs.

“A blood test or ultrasound.” She simply said. It was silent for a moment before Aymee spoke up.

“Are you…?”

“I don’t know. One said yes and the other said no. I called you to see if you give me the real answer.” Macee said as she went to grab her purse. Dante looked at Macee as he began to set the table with the boys.

“Alright. I’ll set a room up for you. See you soon.” Aymee said as Macee hung her phone up. Macee turned to Dante and smiled.

“I’m going out for a bit. I’ll just pick something up on my way home for food, cariño. I love you guys so much. I’ll see you soon.” Macee went over and kissed all her boys before going to the door and heading to the hospital.

Macee got to the hospital and Aymee greeted her at the door. “This way, Macee.” Aymee said as she led her older sister down the hallway to an examination rom. Macee sat on the bed and as Aymee began to speak, “I got a doctor to come and do an ultrasound. Since I’m getting my MD, he’s going to let me assist.”

Macee nodded as she laid back on the bed. The doctor walked in. Aymee assisted the doctor. When she gave Macee the results, she cried. “Promise me you won’t tell anyone, Aymee.” Macee said.

“Just like last time, my lips are sealed.” Aymee said as she hugged Macee.

“Thank you so much, Aym. I owe you big time.” Macee said as she left the hospital. She walked in the door and was greeted by the dogs and boys. Dante smiled wide as Macee kissed him deeply. The boys went to finish watching the movie Dante put on for them earlier.

“So….are we?” Dante asked.

“We most certainly are, babe.” Macee said as she smiled.

“We’re having another kid!” Dante said excitedly.

“Shhhh. Cariño! I don’t want the boys to hear you.” Macee said.

“You still wanna wait to tell everyone, doll?” Dante asked.

Macee nodded, “It happened once, I just don’t want it to happen again.”

“Okay doll, we’ll wait. Another kid. I’m so excited. I love you,” Dante said as he put his hand on Macee’s still flat stomach.

[write-havoc]

This Is How I Disappear Ch. 26

Summary: A girl named Chuck finds herself in the exact place she doesn't want to be, living with violent men in a desolate nursing home. After her former gym teacher finds her, will he be the savior she was looking for?

Fandom: The Walking Dead AU

Pairing: Negan/Original Female Character

Status: Completed (story continues in The Flame Is Gone, The Fire Remains)

Contains: swearing, violence, sexual assault, blood, smut

Readers 18+ of age only

Masterlists in my bio

Negan’s soft humming voice gently rouses Chuck from her sleep the next morning. Turning over onto her other side, she takes in the sight of him. Sitting back against the headboard with a notebook in his hands, he’s dressed only in his underwear and glasses. Chuck takes a glimpse at the clock and discovers it is just past 10am.

“What are you still doing here?” she asks him as she stretches.

“I’m taking the day off today.” He takes his glasses off and sets them on the nightstand along with the notebook he was looking at. “And so are you,” he adds then lays down and puts his arms around her.

“Oh?” she giggles and returns the hug. “I thought I had nothing but days off. Since I’m pretty much a kept woman now,” she jokes.

He laughs. “‘Kept woman?’” He pulls her closer to him and kisses her forehead. “Where’d you get that phrase from? Shit, that phrase was too old for my fuckin’ parents.”

She laughs. “Well? It’s kinda accurate.”

He pulls back and gets out of bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay. My muscles are still kinda sore.”

He walks around to her side of the bed and tries to smooth some of her wild hair. “Hungry?”

“Uh. Yeah?” she answers unconfidently.

“Nauseous?”

“It’s not too bad.” She sits up and stretches again.

“Want some pancakes?” he asks as he holds his hand out to help her from the bed.

“Yeah. That sounds good.”

The pair prepare the food and eat their breakfast. After getting dressed, they head to the infirmary since Carson is expecting them for Chuck’s ultrasound. She asked Negan if she needed to change into her wife clothing to go downstairs, but he said she didn’t have to today. She dresses in her normal T-shirt and jeans.

“Knock, knock,” Negan calls out as he and Chuck enter the infirmary.

Carson looks up from his notebook. “Hello Negan. Charlotte.” He moves to shut the door behind the pair. “I have the vitamins on the counter.” He points to the bottle. “If you’ll change into the gown and lie on the table, I’ll get the ultrasound set up so we can confirm the due date and check everything out.”

Chuck picks up the gown and changes in the bathroom. She comes back out and lays down on the table as Carson gets the ultrasound ready. She knows that as early as she is, the ultrasound would have to be a vaginal one, so she tries to keep herself calm. She doesn’t want to freak out about the awkwardness of the situation.

Carson sets a folded blanket over her legs and takes the wand in his hand. “Come forward a bit and put your legs in the stirrups,” he directs at Chuck.

“Whoa,” Negan calls out. “What the fuck is that thing?” He points to the wand.

“She’s not far enough along for an abdominal ultrasound. We need to go a vaginal one.”

“You’re gonna stick that thing inside my wife?!” he asks incensed.

Chuck is a little taken aback. Not by his reaction, but by the fact that he called her his wife so easily. And so quickly after she had decided to move to the fifth floor.

“Sir-“

Chuck interrupts Carson. “I can do it myself.” Chuck figures that it is the least awkward option to just insert the wand herself. She takes the wand from Carson and readies herself.

“Whoa, whoa. Wait! This is something that needs some fuckin’ discussion, first.”

“Negan,” Chuck starts, “it’s a medical procedure. I’ve had one before for ovarian cysts.”

“What the fuck, Chuck? Why didn’t you tell me this shit? I was expecting the fuckin’ goop on the belly, you know. Not some guy sticking a fuckin’ dildo lookin’ thing up my wife’s pussy?”

“Negan,” she says lowly.

He takes a deep breath and looks from Chuck to Carson. “Fine.” He looks back to Chuck. “But don’t spring shit like this on me again.”

Chuck applies the jelly and slowly inserts the wand as Carson focused on the screen. “I think that’s it,” she says when she feels that the instrument is in far enough. “Is it right?”

Carson gently takes the wand in his hand and begins to move it slightly to get the picture to come up. Soon enough, the screen is filled with something more familiar. “There it is.”

“That’s it?” Negan calls out, unimpressed. “That little bean is my baby?”

Chuck giggles at his reaction. “It’s not gonna look like a baby yet.” She looks back at the screen and studies the picture. It doesn’t look like much. Not yet, anyway.

Carson does a few measurements and determines that she is about 7 weeks along.

“Wait. Seven weeks?” Negan questions.

Chuck knows what he is going to ask before he does. “They count back from the last period. Not date of conception. It’s more accurate that way.”

“That’s correct,” Carson concurs.

“Okay. Cuz we didn’t fuck seven weeks ago.”

Chuck blushes at that.

“Date of conception would have been about five weeks ago. Give or take,” Carson provides.

Negan visibly relaxes. “Alright. That sounds fuckin’ right.”

“We should be able to hear the heartbeat.” Carson pushes a button on the machine, sending the sound of a tiny heartbeat through the speaker.

“Holy shit,” Negan whispers as he leans over Chuck, to get a closer look at the screen.

Chuck can’t control herself and lets out a giggle.

  Oh my god. That’s my baby. It sounds so perfect.

That’s my child.

My child with Negan.

 She looks up at Negan’s face and smiles. He looks completely in awe, with his mouth agape and his eyes wide open. She gently pushes under his chin to close his mouth.

“Fuck, baby girl,” he whispers as he brings his hand up to gently caress her head. “You made me a baby.” He chuckles and bends down to place a kiss on her lips.

“Baby looks healthy,” Carson provides after a moment. He finishes the exam and moves the machine back against the wall. “How are you feeling?” he asks Chuck as she sits up on the exam table.

“Not bad. My muscles are still a little sore from... the fight.”

“Why don’t you have Frankie work her fuckin’ magic on you today?” Negan helps her down from the exam table. “Pregnant chicks can get massages, right?” he asks Carson.

“Yes, of course. Though lying on your stomach will get uncomfortable at some point,” Carson answers.

They all say their goodbyes and head to the wives’ lounge after Chuck cleans up and changes back into her clothes. As they enter the fifth floor, Negan stops them.

“Why don’t you go in, get some lunch, and ask Frankie for that rub down. I’ve got some shit to work on.”

“I thought you were taking the day off?” Chuck teases.

He smirks and lets out a chuckle. “It’s mostly off.”

They part ways and Chuck enters the lounge.

“Hey, Chuck,” Sherry greets from the kitchen.

“Hi, guys,” Chuck responds.

Kayla comes forward from the couch she was reading on. “How are you feeling today?”

“Okay. I’m fine.”

“We were just going to eat some lunch,” Sherry calls out. “You hungry.”

“Yeah, actually. That sounds great.”

“How’s the baby treating you?” Tonya asks with a laugh.

“Okay, I guess. We got an ultrasound today and everything’s good. But it’s not really much of a baby yet,” Chuck jokes as she sits at the table to wait for her food. She is happy that the wives are taking the news of her pregnancy well.

The other women sit down at the table, as well, and start to eat the food Sherry had prepared.

“I never wanted children,” Frankie blurts out.

“Really?” Sherry asks as she swallows her bite. “Never?”

“No. I know everyone thinks that’s weird, but I never thought I’d be the mothering type. I like other people’s kids but... I just never wanted to actually raise one.” She finishes with a shrug.

“I’m the same way,” Tonya replies. “Babies seem like too much work.”

“I always wanted a bunch of kids. I love ‘em. Obviously,” Kayla says with a giggle. “But I’m not sure about that anymore in this world.”

“Did you want kids, Chuck?” Sherry asks.

Chuck takes a deep breath and sighs. “I never even thought about it. I’ve never really been good with kids, so...” She looks down at herself. “I’m a little scared about the whole thing.”

“That’s normal, sweetie,” Kayla coos. “But you’ll have plenty of support here.”

The conversation shifts to more lighthearted fare as the women continue to eat.

“I was wondering,” Chuck starts, “if you could maybe give me a massage, Frankie.”

“Yeah, sure,” she answers enthusiastically.

“Frankie is very good with her hands,” Tonya says with a seductive smirk.

Frankie giggles. “I don’t think she wants your kind of massage.”

Chuck laughs along with the other women as they finish their meals.

“So... You’re a full-on wife now,” Tonya asks to Chuck as everyone clears their plates.

“Uh, yeah,” Chuck begins. “Negan was right. It’s safer up here.” She absentmindedly places her hand on her stomach. “And now... I mean, I guess I would’ve come up here anyway.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re here.” Tonya walks over to Chuck and gives her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you,” Chuck whispers.

The other women come around Chuck and all hugged her, as well, which elicits a giggle from her.

“We’re all in this together.” Sherry says softly. “And we’re all here for each other.”

“You guys are so amazing,” Chuck replies genuinely as the women back away from each other. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you guys.”

Frankie starts to set up her massage table in the lounge after Chuck had said it was okay for the other wives to be there. Chuck changes into a robe in the wives’ bathroom and pulls her hair up into a messy bun, returning moments later to the lounge.

Frankie gestures to her table. “Lay on your stomach and get comfy.”

Chuck does as she is told and positions herself so Frankie can remove the robe. Frankie pulls the garment from Chuck’s shoulders and folds it over her backside.

“Oh my god,” Frankie whispers as she lightly brushes her fingers over Chuck’s back. “Do these hurt?” She refers to the bruises still adorning Chuck’s skin.

“A little. My muscles hurt worse.”

Kayla looks over Chuck, too. “Gosh. There’s so many bruises. I’m so sorry, Chuck.”

She doesn’t want the women to make a fuss, so she decides to downplay her injuries. “It’s fine. They’re really not that bad.”

Everyone is quiet for a moment until Frankie moves forward to begin the massage. “Tell me if you have any pain.”

After several minutes of Frankie working on her muscles, Chuck feels noticeably better. “Wow, Frankie. I’ve never had a massage before and I’m kinda kicking myself. This feels amazing. I wish I had massages like every day before now.”

“We can make this a weekly thing. I already do the rest of the wives every week.”

“Hey!” Negan’s jovial voice comes from the doorway as he enters. “Is this a happy fuckin’ ending kinda massage?” He walks further into the room and plops down on the couch nearest to where Frankie is working.

“No, Negan,” Chuck says, unimpressed with Negan’s comment as the other women chuckle.

“Do you even know what I’m talking about, sweetheart?”

Chuck picks her head up to give him the “really?” look. “I’m not an idiot. And that’s a super old joke, anyway.”

He gives her the “I’m impressed” face and sits back on the couch with his hands behind his head. “How much longer ‘til you’re done there, Frankie?”

“A few more minutes. She’s carrying a lot of stress right between her shoulders.” Frankie focuses on the spot, pressing hard into it.

It is uncomfortable at first but once the knot releases, Chuck feels so much better. “Mmm oh. That feels amazing,” she moans.

“Watch out now, Chuck,” Tonya calls out with a laugh. “Negan’s gonna pop a boner if you keep sounding like that.”

Chuck can feel her blush creep up her cheeks. “Stop teasing!” she cries out with a giggle. “I didn’t really sound that bad, did I?”

Tonya shrugs. “It got me a little wet so I know Negan’s got at least a stiffy.”

“Alright, alright. Jesus Christ, Tonya. Keep it in your pants.” Negan shifts forward to lean his elbows on his knees.

“All done, Chuck.” Frankie calls out and pulls the robe back over Chuck.

Chuck gets dressed and says her goodbyes, leaving with Negan to go back to his room. He stops right outside his closed office door and turns around to Chuck with a smirk on his face.

“I got a surprise for you,” he says in a singsong voice.

“Oh?”

He opens the doors with a flourish and walks into his office with Chuck close behind, her eyes scanning the room for Negan’s mysterious surprise. She casts her gaze to her right and sees a huge cat tree lining the wall. In the corner beside the door is a big fancy covered litter box. And all the cats from outside are milling about inspecting their surroundings.

Chuck lets out an excited noise and runs over to hug Negan. “Thank you.”

He throws his arms around her, too. “You’re welcome, baby girl.” He kisses the top of her head. “But I’m not cleaning a litter box, so that’s your job.”

“I can’t. Pregnant women can’t clean litter boxes.”

He pulls back to look at her face. “You can’t pull the pregnant card already, sweetheart.”

“It’s true. It says it on every box of litter. I swear,” she replies as she giggles. “There’s something in cat pee that can cause a miscarriage, or something.”

“Goddamnit. I wouldn’t’ve brought them up here if I knew that! Looks like Sam and Jose are getting a new job. As shit scoopers.”

Chuck giggles at his comment and bends down to pet the mother cat who has started to rub up on her legs.

“That’s not the only surprise,” he states and beckons her with his hand to follow him into his bedroom.

As she enters, she sees a huge flatscreen tv to her right on the wall with the seating area rearranged to face it. Under the tv is a shelf with various gaming consoles and both games and Blu-rays.

“Like it?” he asks with his arms outstretched.

“Jeez, Negan. This is...” She looks around trying to think of the right words. “I-It’s great. I mean... I feel kinda weird that you’re doing so much for me. Like... you’re doing too much for me.”

He lets out a sigh and walks toward her. “Nothing is gonna be too much for you from now on. You’re my girl.” He places his hand on her stomach. “And you got my fuckin’ baby in your belly. I’m gonna give you guys everything in the whole world.”

She giggles and turns to look at the tv. “Still... We have the power for all this?”

“Yup. No need to worry that pretty fuckin’ head of yours about all that shit. We actually got somewhat of a power surplus with all the fuckin’ solar panels we got. And this factory was set up with that hydroelectric shit from the river nearby. I have guys that know that shit in and out and maintain it.”

As Negan talks, Chuck scans all the games that he had brought up to her. One of the boxes catches her eye and she makes an excited gasp.

“You okay there?” he says with a chuckle.

“Oh my god! This is my favorite game!” She pulls the box out and shows it to him.

“Last of Us?” he asks. “Never heard of it.”

Chuck rips the box open and gets everything turned on and ready for her to play.

“You’re playing this shit right the fuck now?”

“Yup.” Before she sits down on the couch to start, she opens up the door to the office. “Here kitty kitty kitty-“

“Nope!” Negan jumps up and closes the door. “Nope nope nope. No fuckin’ cats in my bedroom. Fuckin’ clawing at my shit. Getting cat hair all over the damn place.”

“Aww.” She looks up at him with wide eyes. “They’ll be good. And what’s the point of having cats if you don’t let them snuggle with you?” she asks sweetly.

He narrows his eyes at her before he speaks. “You know, you always give me that same fuckin’ look when you want something from me.”

“I do?” she asks innocently. She is unaware of what look she apparently gives him.

He steps in close to her. “It’s real fuckin’ good that you don’t have a malicious bone in your body because you got me wrapped around your fuckin’ pinky finger, little girl.” He opens the door up and yells to the cats. “Get your furry asses in here.” He turns back around and plops himself down on the couch, waiting for Chuck to join him.

Chuck giggles and sits down beside him, starting her game. The cats don’t venture into the bedroom for several minutes, still a little wary of their new surroundings. But after a while, they get more comfortable and jump up on the couch. Even though Negan shoos them away from him for a while, he eventually lets them crawl over him and sit in his lap.

The whole time Chuck is playing, she explains the whole story and game mechanics to Negan, who has very little knowledge of what she is talking about. She has just finished telling him about what clickers are in the game when she looks away from the screen to him. He is looking at her with a wide grin and soft eyes.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I don’t understand a single fuckin’ thing you’re saying about this game, but you look cute as shit saying it.”

She brushes off his compliment. “You say everything is cute.”

“Just you.”

She looks at him for a few moments before shoving him away playfully. “Shut up!”

 The next two weeks go by easily, with Chuck’s bruises fading and her injuries all completely healed. It has taken her a little time to adjust to life on the fifth floor full time, but she has plenty of things to busy herself with, including rearranging her new room to her liking.

She hasn’t brought herself to venture back down to the lower floors, though. She knows she’d have to get all dolled up in her “wife uniform” to mingle with the rest of the population and she isn’t ready for all that. But she finds herself almost missing Dr. Carson and the infirmary.

She also misses Simon, who has been oddly absent. Every time she had asked Negan about him, all he would say was that Simon was too busy for a social visit with her. That made her a little sad to hear; she considers Simon her close friend. And he is going to be the first person Chuck will tell about her pregnancy when she feels it is the right time to. With some discussion with Negan first, of course.

“What are you reading?” Negan asks as he sits on the edge of the bed and takes his boots off. He has been out later than normal in a meeting with some of the heads of the outposts and just came home.

“Return of the King,” Chuck answers and sits up a little more on the headboard.

Negan stands and takes his jacket off, throwing it on his couch. “Did you eat?” He asks as he heads into the bathroom.

“Yeah,” she responds. “But I wish I had some pizza.”

“You craving pizza, baby girl?” he calls out.

The sound of him relieving himself in the toilet makes Chuck scrunch her face up. “You could close the door when you’re in there.”

He washes his hands and comes back out. “What’s the fuckin’ point?” he asks with a laugh and strips down to his underwear.

“Decorum?” she answers with a shrug. “I don’t wanna hear you peeing. Or see it.” She closes the book and sets it on the nightstand.

“That sounds like a ‘you’ problem.” He snickers and slides under the covers facing her after he turns the lights off. “Turn around, sweetheart.”

She studies his face for a few moments as he lays there with his eyes closed waiting for her to turn so he can cuddle up to her back. “You’re kinda beautiful,” she says quietly.

His lips slowly curve into a smile, but he doesn’t open his eyes. “Is that so?”

“How different do you think you would be if you weren’t? I wonder how people would treat you if you looked more... plain.”

He quirks his eyebrow and spies at her with one of his eyes. “What are you fuckin’ talking about?” he asks with a chuckle.

“Haven’t you ever thought about stuff like that? How your life would be changed if you looked different? I think about stuff like that.” She brings her hand up and traces the bridge of his nose lightly with her finger. “ You definitely wouldn’t get away with most of the stuff you do if you weren’t so handsome. I’m sure of it.” She traces around his smiling lips. “Maybe you would’ve gotten a job as an insurance salesman instead a teacher,” she giggles. “Maybe you wouldn’t have been married. Or maybe you would’ve had three ex wives and a ton of alimony payments.” She giggles again. “Do you think all these people would’ve followed you so easily if you weren’t so good looking?”

He laughs. “If I had a beer gut and a receding hairline I’d still be a badass motherfucker. It doesn’t matter what I look like.”

“You think? It always matters what you look like.” She pushes her hair back from her face and brings her hands under her head. “I know my whole life would’ve been different if I were beautiful like you.”

He stares back at her, but doesn’t say anything.

“Maybe I would’ve been married before all this.” She shrugs. “I probably would’ve had more friends in high school. Been more... personable. Took up cheerleading instead of music. Got drunk with all the cool kids on the weekends.” She chortles.

“I would’ve never let you hang out with those dickwads.”

“If I had been born pretty like them I would’ve been one of those dickwads,” she jokes.

“Why don’t you think you’re beautiful?” he asks suddenly.

She shrugs dismissively. “Because I’m not.”

“You are.”

“I’m not fishing for compliments, Negan. I’m just saying... I know what I look like,” she states with another shrug.

“And I’m not fuckin’ placating you, Chuck. I’m looking at the same face you do. You’re just too fuckin’ hard on yourself.”

She chuckles nervously. “I didn’t mean for this conversation to turn into a self esteem thing. You still got some of those pamphlets they used to keep in the guidance office I could look over?” she jokes.

“Stop being a smartass,” he murmurs and pushes his lips to hers in a sweet kiss. “Now turn the fuck around so we can sleep.”

Instead of turning over, she shifts closer to him and kisses him again. She and Negan haven’t had sex since before the attack and she misses the intimacy. She is truly grateful that Negan hasn’t pushed her into anything too quickly, but she feels she is ready now.

He brings his hand up to cradle her cheek, seemingly reading her mind of her intentions. “You sure, baby girl?” he asks softly.

“Yeah.” She sits up a little and takes off her tank top, laying back down beside him after.

He gently runs his hand over her hair and down to her shoulder, pulling her into him slowly. Her lips caress over his languidly as she moves her hand down to cup him through his boxers.

“Fuck,” he groans. “I’ve missed you.”

She giggles and tugs at his underwear. He lifts his hips slightly and assists her. She removes the rest of her clothes and cuddles into Negan for a few minutes, just allowing him to hold her.

She starts to place kisses on his chest, working her way up to his neck and finally to his lips. Negan cups the back of her head and fervently kisses her back.

“Negan,” she says breathlessly.

“Yeah, baby?”

She throws her leg over his hip and leads him to her entrance. “Please, Negan. I want you.”

He holds her body close and slowly enters her wet heat. “Fuck,” he growls. “You always feel so goddamn perfect to me.”

She giggles and begins to roll her hips slowly. He meets her rhythm and thrusts into her as he runs his hands up and down her body. The entire time, Negan is soft and gentle, allowing her to set the pace.

Chuck cums easily, moaning softly into Negan’s ear. She holds onto him tightly as he continues to plunge himself into her, seeking his own end.

“Can I cum inside?” he asks breathlessly.

She laughs before answering. “There’s no reason not to now.”

“Fuck,” he groans as he pushes her gently to lay back on the bed, still thrusting into her in a steady pace. “Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum.” His rhythm falters as he paints her walls with his seed. He collapses on top of her, keeping most of his weight on his knees and elbows. They lay still for a while, breathing heavily as they come down from their highs.

“Don’t fall asleep on top of me,” Chuck says with a chuckle after a few minutes.

Negan rolls off of her and clutches her to his chest. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No. You were very gentle.”

“Good.”

“I’m fine. I’m not made of glass.”

“I know, baby girl.” He kisses the top of her head. “But I’m always gonna fuckin’ worry about you. Even more now that you’re knocked up.”

She chuckles. “Did you ever think you’d knock up one of your students?”

He groans loudly. “Jesus fucking Christ, Chuck! Don’t word it that way.”

Her whole body shakes as she laughs hysterically. “I mean, it’s still kinda true.”

“You’re a former student and you’re twenty-fuckin’-five years old,” he growls, but not really angry at her.

“If someone had time travelled back to my senior year and told you that the actual zombie apocalypse was gonna happen and that me and you would have a baby, which part of that story would you have thought was the most unbelievable?”

“Hmm,” he thinks it through, “as long as there was a stipulation that I would knock you up well after you turned eighteen... I’d say the zombie apocalypse would have been way more fuckin’ unlikely.”

“Really?” she laughs. “I would’ve given just about anything a better chance than us sleeping together.” She lifts her hand up and counts off the list. “Aliens visiting... Winning the lottery... Chris Hemsworth leaving his wife for me... Developing ESP...”

“Who the fuck’s Chris Hemsworth?” he interrupts rather indignantly.

“An actor. A big beefy Australian actor.” She looks at Negan and sees that he has no idea who she’s talking about. “He played Thor.”

He scrunches his face up at that. “That dude?! You like that dude?”

“Uh... yes! Definitely!”

“Pfft,” he dismisses.

“He’s gorgeous and buff. And he seems kinda goofy which is always a plus.”

“He’s probably a fuckin’ dickhead.”

She laughs at his reaction. “Are you jealous?”

“I’m not fuckin’ jealous,” he replies quickly.

She giggles and cuddles into his chest. “I promise that if Chris Hemsworth comes sniffing around, I won’t run away with him...” she pauses, “without saying goodbye first,” she teases.

“Oh no you fuckin’ won’t.” Negan flips Chuck over and begins to tickle her relentlessly. Her frenetic laughs only dissipating into moans as Negan begins to pleasure her again, and not for the last time that night.

[atldreaming]

The calm before the storm.

Small sips of my coffee. Trying to give myself a pep talk.

She gives the assignment. With a nod we disperse and make our way to our posts for the next 12 hours.

What will happen I cannot predict.

Her pressure was 60/40 and descending. I’m dialing up the Nicardipine and saying a little prayer every time I recycle her vitals. At least she’s in the 90s systolic now.

We’re getting somewhere.

I wish I could give her my full attention.

I can’t.

I hear EMS bringing me another patient. My overdose patient I discharged less than 2 hours ago. He’s done it again. He’s unresponsive.

I’ve got to go.

I scramble. Muttering nothing but small prayers under my breath.

There’s nothing like the calm that settles before another wave of the storm hits.

The lull.

You’ve taken your critical patients to the intensive care unit. You’re in a good spot.

But you know not to breathe.

It’s not safe to.

You cannot take a breath until you see that clock reach 7am.

Not until you tuck yourself in and pray you’ll get enough sleep before your shift starts again that night.

It’s in that lull that anything could happen.

EMS bolting through the door with a man as white as a sheet vomiting up seemingly all the blood in his body.

Learning how to emergently give blood.

No Typing. No Crossmatching.

Rapid Infuser

Can’t find a vein.

Fuck.

Trying again.

He’s moaning. He sounds like he’s going to hurl blood yet again.

We run a couple units in through the rapid infuser.

He’s more with it now. He says a thank you.

Finally stable.

It’s almost day break. I can do this.

I make it.

It’s another shift again.

He’s yelling at me from his room. He’s stripped naked. He won’t leave.

I’ve handed him his discharge papers.

He doesn’t care.

He’s up.

Naked. Swinging his arms. Raising his voice

Bitch, he’s calling me. Tossing around obscenities like nothing.

He’s thrown the turkey sandwich at me that I so kindly gave him an hour ago.

I bolt and slam the door.

I call out for security.

They drag him out.

I should be relieved. But instead I worry if he’ll be out there.

If he’ll be in the parking deck.

Wondering if he will follow me out and be waiting for me at my car.

I clutch the pepper spray tightly as I dart to my car in the dark parking deck.

I make it to my car in record time, doors locked, tears of exhaustion falling.

Back.

Back again.

It’s the lull of the night but I know not to let my guard down. Not to let myself relax. 3am

They roll her back in a wheelchair. She’s wailing. Trail of blood following her path.

She’s clutching her wrist.

Oh God please. Oh God no she screams.

Arterial bleed.

Not sure what she was doing cooking at 3 am. Using her good kitchen knives.

Two MDs at the bedside.

Ketamine.

We’ve got our shields on.

Blood is splashing. It seems to cover the room.

The doctors are suturing her artery.

Another nurse holds her as I assist the doctors.

I’m wide eyed and panicked.

Trying my best. Doing what I can.

My heart won’t stop beating when I make it home.

It seems to beat out if my chest even as I make it through the door and sit.

I can’t settle myself to sleep until hours later.

Up.

Again.

Bloodshot eyes.

It felt like I had been asleep for only mere seconds.

Back at it again.

Pressure of 70/30.

Paraplegic.

Septic shock.

Fuck.

Can’t find a vein.

Fuck.

Where is that damn ultrasound machine.

Pressure 60/20.

Why won’t they give him a central line?

His mom and sister and aunt and best friend’s boyfriend and who the heck else is in my way. Screaming for answers.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

I finally sternly tell them to leave.

One bag of fluids. Two.

Levophed drip.

All I can hear is the rapid beating in my chest and how his mother won’t stop berating him like all this is his fault.

I’m furious.

Trying diffuse my anger.

Breathe in

Breathe out.

Deep breaths, you can do this.

Another few days off. Savoring the calm that I have left.

Back.

Nearly in tears as I park at the thought of what kind of madness will be waiting for me.

He’s critical. Sedated but not enough. Currently being dialyzed. Pressure drops. 70/30.

Fuck.

He’s not sedated enough. He’s thrashing around. He’s trying to grab the tube that’s down his throat.

He needs another IV.

Propofol drip.

He needs a fentanyl drip too.

We can’t find a vein.

6 hours later. Of fighting. Of panic.

I haven’t even laid eyes my other 3 patients yet. I can’t afford to leave this one. He’s too fragile.

My heart won’t stop beating out of my chest.

Finally I bring him to the ICU. The whole way up I’m afraid he’s going to crash.

We’re here.

I breathe.

6 more hours of this madness is waiting for me when I’m back.

Sigh.

Another shift.

I don’t want to do this anymore.

My heart is tired

It’s not that I’m not strong. I am.

It’s not that I don’t care. I do.

Almost too much

[guttersvillemayor]

A Way Less Sad Happy Ending

[Saying goodbye to Pedro left me feeling like I never wanted to get out of bed, but as usual, life had different plans for me and even if I wanted to do that, I couldn’t. Despite having just been for an ultrasound the day Pedro randomly showed up in Fairhope, the following Monday I got a call from my doctor that she wanted me to come back in. I tried not to worry and convinced myself that it was normal for her to want me to come back and talk about the ultrasound. She hadn’t been there when it happened due to another patient going into labor that day. However, I never could have expected the reason why she really wanted me to come in. Then again, considering the father, I shouldn't have been surprised. It seemed she noticed something off about my results and wanted to do it again herself to confirm as suspicious she had. And that suspicion was that I didn’t just have one bun in the oven but two. Twins! Another reason I shouldn’t have been surprised by this news is that twins slightly ran in my family with my elder brothers being twins, not to mention my father and my aunt being twins as well. Still I felt bowled over when she announced the discovery of my second Sweat Pea. It also meant that I couldn’t run from my family any more. Now more than ever I would need their help.

With the help of Dahlia and Reba, a family meeting was called back in New Orleans and with enough anxiety to make me feel like I was never going to keep anything down even if I wasn’t pregnant, I told my family that not only was I pregnant by a man who would no longer be in my life but that it was twins. It was clear that my amazing sisters softened the ground with some of my older brothers and thankfully Jude and Jesse weren’t likely to judge me as my younger brothers. However, the look on my parents’ faces made me feel like a disappointment and the hurt and shock on Jonah and Wendy’s face only made me feel even more shitty. The few weeks after that were definitely rough and I was very thankful to have Dahlia and Jasper offer me their spare bedroom while I tried to work things out with my parents at least. My friendship with Wendy had definitely been changed for good. The part of me that was so close to her as a child mourned that loss, but the adult in me realized that it was never going to be the same once she was with Jonah and it was only going to further cause problems when she became my sister-in-law if we didn’t acknowledge that the relationship between us had irrevocably shifted. Once I felt on a better footing with my family, I wanted to return to the beach house for some solitude and prepare for the huge change my life was taking.

However, my family rightly worried about me being so far away on my own while pregnant with twins. It wasn’t until Jesse came and told me that he had worked it out with his boss at the piano bar and landlord to take some time off and temporarily move with me to Point Clear, that I was able to go back to my haven on the water. Of course, different members of the family would pop in and out to visit me and spend time in the house that was meant for family vacations as the spring and summer months passed. There would be days that I would wake up marvelling in the two lives growing inside of me, at what our lives would be together, at the feeling of having something of peace and home that I’d been searching for all this time. And then there were other days when I felt like I couldn’t leave my bed, where I was drowning in my tears, when JD had to call Dahlia and/or Reba or even my mother to Alabama to help me. It was in these darkest moments when I missed Pedro and contemplated ruining everything that I had sacrificed and his own life by telling him about our children. Never more so than after ultrasounds when I would see them or hear their heartbeats or the first day I felt them flutter in my belly. The sobs overwhelming me and crushing me, not to mention probably scaring the shit out of poor JD. It was these low moments that made me realize I needed to agree with my parents’ request to move back to their home in New Orleans as it got closer to my due date. The fear that I would fail my children allowed me to get over the embarrassment and wounded pride of needing to ask my parents for help.

The decision definitely was the right one as we were able to figure out a situation that worked for all of us before I started nesting. It was decided that the bottom floor of their home would become my de facto home with my own privacy from the second floor which would be theirs. Yet, the closeness would allow them to help me take care of my precious twins when they came. Who knew how long this arrangement would work out for me, my parents and the twins… but for the moment, I had a plan and a path forward. Throughout the pregnancy, I spent my time working on a photography book covering my travels, although I wished I had been able to cover the eastern half of the country, I considered this book almost a love note to my little Sweet Peas and the journey I had gone through with their father to get to the point of having them in my life. So it made sense somehow that in the middle of the night after having sent my rough draft to a publisher, I awoke with some serious back pain and did my best to get out of bed before giving up and calling out to Jesse in the family room, hoping he’d spent the night on the couch like he’d mentioned earlier. Used to needing my help at random times, my youngest brother walked in clearly still half-asleep and disheveled but more than willing to give me a hand even after having spent the day doing stuff around the house for me.

It’s not until he hears me give a slight cry out that he seems to truly wake up. His hand reach out for the walkie-talkie next to my bed that has been utilized for communication between me and my parents when I moved in. “Um, Mom, I think something is wrong with EJ. She’s clearly in pain.” My words frustrated and pained as I grumble.] When am I not in pain these days thanks to me being the size of a motherfucking hippo. [As if having heard the commotion in my room, Dahlia and Jasper appear in the doorway and it must be the confusion on my face that prompts my eldest brother to answer my unasked question. “We were here late talking with Mom and Dad and just decided to spend the night here with the kids.” Before I can think of anything to say, another horrible pain grips me and Dahlia reaches out for my hand to help me breathe through them. The look between her and Jasper has me fearing that this is more than just the Braxton-Hicks I’d experienced a few times. And I’m not the only one who picks up on the silent communication as my younger brother gives a slight laugh, which I’ll admit pissed me off more than it normally would. “Hey, what are the odds of you having your twins on Friday the 13th?” Realizing what Jesse meant, my eyes go wide and I turn to Dahlia almost in a panic.] You don’t think my bad luck is going to get passed to the twins, do you?

[Jasper is unable to stop himself from snort-laughing, despite the glare Dahlia sends his way before turning her gaze to me attempting to calm me down. “No, Ems. First off, I don’t think you have bad luck as you’ve been blessed with two little ones so if anything you have amazing luck. But the only thing you’ll be passing on to those twins are some beautiful genes and maybe some questionable Mosby habits.” This gets me to chuckle a little bit before I have to bite back a groan from another contraction. My parents now joining the party as I can feel my mother’s warm hand rubbing my aching back. “Hey baby, it sounds like you’re having an eventful night.”] Yeah, I thought why wait for the sun when it’s much more fun to have a late-night rave. What time is it anyway? [I’d been starting to fall asleep at random times and earlier than I’d ever imagined possible before getting pregnant. “You crashed some time around 9, I think. You did keep waking up throughout the night...” My younger brother starts to explain as my father politely escorts him out of my room to give me some space with Dahlia and my mom. “It’s just a little after 5 as Jasper and I fell asleep about 1 or so ourselves.” I groan this time not from a contraction but from guilt at keeping them from their rest. Dahlia’s lips quirk and I know she’s trying to keep from laughing at me.

“It’s okay, Ems. I wouldn’t be able to sleep through this nor would I want to. Jasper will no doubt go lay down with the kids if not Jesse. Now why don’t we change you into some different clothes before heading for the hospital.” Her gaze flickering between me and my mother as if not wanting to take control from either of us but knowing how much I’ve depended on her throughout this pregnancy. If we hadn’t been like sisters before this, we sure as hell were now.] That might be a good idea as I’m pretty sure I just peed myself. [The words are said with a mirthless chuckle which invites a chuckle from both my mother and Dahlia. “Oh sweetie, that’s probably just your water breaking.” I glance towards my mother hopeful because I didn’t like the idea that I couldn’t control my bladder no matter how much people wouldn’t hold it against me cause I was in labor. “We’ve got the car and go-bag on standby when you ladies are ready to go.” My father’s voice comes floating through the door and I hear my mother reply back to him that we’d be out soon while Dahlia helps me out of my pajamas. I won’t lie that I took the opportunity to wear a lot of sweats and baggy clothes when it came to my maternity wardrobe, but I’d never been more glad for that decision than while trying to dress while in the middle of contractions.

It takes a little bit, but eventually we join my dad and Jasper in the family room and we all seem to look around at one another before I release a bit of a mix between a sigh and a chuckle.] Alrighty folks, we better get this show on the road before I have these kids right here. [“Yeah, I’d rather not see that, EJ.” Jesse quips as he walks over to me from the second bedroom door. His arms attempt to come around me in a loose hug as he whispers. “I’ll see you and those kiddos in a few hours. Don’t do anything crazy until then, okay?” A few tears fall from my eyes and I give him a tired smile.] Will do, broham. Give our niece and nephew a good morning kiss from me and their soon-to-be-cousins, please. [He nods and walks off to the bedroom with Jasper, no doubt being given instructions about what to do if he or Dahlia are needed. Somehow we are both quick and yet slow to get out into the vehicles. My dad and Jasper in the front seats while Dahlia and my mom sit in the back with me. Thankfully the drive to the hospital isn’t that long or I’d have started to feel claustrophobic on top of being in pain from the sheer fact that a woman pregnant with twins shouldn’t be squeezed between two other women in a compact SUV.

I want to say that I remember a lot more from my labor, but honestly beyond the pain and sudden fear of being a horrible mother and once more feeling the overwhelming sadness and guilt over Pedro not being there for the birth of his children, I don’t remember much. Of course, Dahlia and my mom were there with me through it all until at last I heard the cries of my children entering this world. The emotion almost knocking the breath out of me more so than the continued contractions. In the end, I was present with my beloved Sweet Peas. A boy and a girl. The fraternal twins resting on my chest as my family was finally able to join me back in my hospital room. “Took you long enough, sis.” The smile on JD’s face belying his words. We'd last seen each other more than 24 hours ago. Visitation keeping everybody by my parents away through the night after I’d finished delivering the twins.] Good morning to you too, Uncle Jesse. [He reaches out for my son and brushes a soft finger over his cheek. “You did good, Emma.” Before he can say anything else, the rest of my brothers arrive trying not to be too loud and wake the sleeping babies.] Looks like the gang’s all here. [I chuckle softly and watch as Jasper and Dahlia help their children, Abigail and Arthur sit on their laps close enough to see the babies without disturbing them or me on the bed. Arthur making a comment about how small his cousins are which has his mother chuckling and explaining that he was that small once himself.] Would you like to meet them, Artie? [His head bobbing enthusiastically as I pull back the caps so he can better see the twins from his seat.]

This lovely lady here is Gemma Aster and she was born at 11:11pm, and this gorgeous guy is Solomon Pedro. He’s a little younger than his big sister coming out at 11:30 on the dot. [“Pedro?” Reba glances over to share a look with Dahlia, who clearly didn’t mean to ask that question out loud. All this time I hadn’t shared who the twin’s father was with my family out of respect for both his life choice and because the pain had always felt so fresh just under the surface. But I knew when I was thinking up baby names that I wanted my children to have something of their father. The question intrigues the rest of my family and I simply nod my head as I brush a soft finger over Sol’s baby hair. My eyes never leaving his angelic face.] Yes, Pedro for his father. [The adults in the room seem to take a moment to process this new piece of information while Abbie and Artie are more interested in seeing more of their cousins. “When will they be able to play, Aunt Emma?” “They are still babies, Artie!” Before this can delve into an argument between the two siblings, Dahlia quickly leads them both away from my bedside with a playful roll of her eyes my way, a smile, and a motion of her head towards my family.]

Would anyone like to hold them? [And just like that, my words seem to bring them back to the present and spur them into action as my brothers almost fight over one another about who gets to hold the twins first. The sight of my family, who I’d worried about accepting my pregnancy at the beginning of the year, falling over themselves to spoil my children with their love causes me to start crying and it takes both my parents hugging me from either side to help me calm down enough to enjoy watching my brothers get to know their new niece and nephew. I didn’t know what else the future had in store for us, but I knew as long as I had Gemma and Sol by my side along with my family, things would be okay because my children were my life, my heart and my home.]

[all-the-love-harold]

Chapter 10 - Four Little Feet

 Master Post

May 21st 2021

 Emily 20 Weeks 

Poppy 16 Weeks 

 The living room was full of people all gathered around two tiny envelops that would reveal the sex of both babies. Poppy held hers tight to her chest and Emily started down at it blankly, it felt almost bittersweet to her, on the one hand she got to see how excited Harry and Poppy would be to find out, but on the other, she was about to find out the sex of the child that she would never really know. Bittersweet. 

 “Who’s going first then?” Anne asked, causing the room to fall into silence, everyone’s eyes focusing on the two women in the middle of the room.

“Well since Emily is due first, maybe she should open hers before Poppy” Addie said from the couch in the corner. 

“That makes sense” Harry nodded, pulling on his lip nervously “Emily” he bowed “Would you do the honours?” 

“I’d love to”, she half smiled and took a deep breath before she ripped the envelope open. Inside was a note from her doctor that read;

“Congratulations; it’s a boy!”

Emily remained silent for a second, forgetting that she was in a room full of people, that wanted to know what that card said more than anything in the world. But she’d gone blank. A little boy, that she imagined looked a lot like Oli was growing inside her and in just a few months she would have to give him up. She knew that this is what she signed up for, but never in her wildest dreams did she imagine it would be this hard. 

“It’s a boy” she choked, forcing herself not to cry.

Harry immediately wrapped his arms around Poppy, who was also tearing up. They were going to have another son, a brother for Oli, a bot that would look just like Harry.

“Oli’s going to have a brother” he said, unable to wipe the grin off his face 

“A boy!” Oli exclaimed, jumping out of his seat, “There’s going to be two Oli’s in the house” 

Gemma giggled “No Ol, the baby will have a different name” 

“But I’m a boy and boys in this family are called Oliver Edward Styles” he said, very sure of himself 

“His last name will be the same as yours Ol” Addie chimed in “But your Mummy and Daddy will choose a different first name for him” 

“What about his middle name?” he said quizzically “Will that be the same?”

“That’s up to Mummy and Daddy” Gemma said “If he’s lucky he will get to share a middle name with you” 

Poppy couldn’t help but smile at the three of them as she listened in on their conversation and Harry was too busy staring at the ultrasound to even notice. 

“I can’t see it” he finally said, pouting a little 

“See what?” Poppy asked, reaching up and taking the picture from him 

“His uhhhh” Harry looked up and saw his mother staring at him so he put his hand up so that it was covering his mouth and whispered “His willy” loud enough for the whole room to hear. 

Poppy and the rest of the women in the room rolled their eyes. Why was that the only thing that men focused on? 

“What?!” he shrugged “Just want to make sure he’s uh… well endowed” 

“Harry” Poppy sighed “He’s your son, he’ll be fine.” 

Harry’s cheeks turned a shade of red she’d not seen them turn before. “Sorry” She giggled 

“Ahem” Harry cleared his throat “Moving swiftly on - It’s your turn Pop!”

It felt too early to be finding out for Poppy, but their harmony test came back the day after Emily had her twenty week ultrasound and it felt right to find out together. Doctor Marshall remained quietly confident that the baby was in the right spot for her condition to affect the pregnancy until later, which is why Poppy was sat here, filled with nerves and excitement. She wanted to know, but she didn’t want to get too attached to the idea if something could still happen.

“You do it H” she handed him the envelope 

“Are you sure?” he asked, hesitating to take it from her 

“Yeah, I’m too sacred” she nodded and he grabbed it from her hand. 

“Alright” he took a deep breath “Gemma, drum roll please” 

“Just open it H” Anne said, growing more impatient by the second. 

“Alright alright” he said, opening the envelope as he spoke pausing briefly as he read it to himself. 

“We’re having one of each” he said, voice cracking a little 

“It’s a girl?” Poppy asked 

“It’s a girl” Harry nodded and all of a sudden it was like there was no one else in the room. Poppy wrapped her arms around Harry and held him there for what felt like hours while she shed tears of excitement. They couldn’t lose this baby now. Poppy was going to do everything she could to make sure of that. 

“That means a sister Oli” Addie said to the child who was now sitting on her lap 

“I like sisters” he said, a smile growing on his face. “Tommy has a sister and he loves her a lot, but I think I’ll love mine more” 

“You will” Addie kissed him on the forehead, astounded by how sweet he was. 

“You’ve got to start thinking of names now” Anne said when Harry and Poppy finally broke from their hug. 

“We’ve got a few close contenders for girls names but nothing for boys” Poppy said “Em, do you have anything you’d like to throw into the mix?” 

“I’ve always loved Oscar for a boy.” she said, feeling grateful that Poppy asked if she could give this baby one thing, she’d love for it to be his name. 

“I like Oscar” Harry nodded “Oscar and Oliver… that’s kind of adorable” 

“Oscar William” Poppy smiled “I like that”

“Why William?” Anne asked curiously 

“Our Dad’s middle name” Both Poppy and Addie said at almost the same time. 

“Perfect” Anne smiled “Seems like you just named your little boy” 

“What do you think Oli?” Popp said looking at her son “Do you want a brother named Oscar” 

“Yeah” Oli nodded “He will be my best friend!” 

 *** 

 June 22nd 2021

Emily 24 Weeks 

Poppy 20 Weeks 

 It had been a year since Harry and Poppy had made the decision to get a surrogate and never in their wildest dreams did they think they’d be having two babies only a year later. Poppy had, thus far, had no complications in her pregnancy. That’s 20 weeks without a sign of miscarriage, no spotting, not cramping, just the little flutters of their baby girls kicks, a reminder that there was life in there, a life that they could finally get excited about meeting.  

 The office at radio 1 was dull today, Ella was on leave, on holiday in the Bahamas, Big Boss Ben was on phone calls all day, Grimmy was only coming in in time for his show, and clara was already on air and Poppy would be soon too. After much deliberation, Poppy and Harry had decided to address the speculation about their surrogacy journey to stop any nasty rumours spreading about them or Emily. And that meant going on the radio, and telling the world not only about their surrogacy but about Poppy’s pregnancy too. This was not something they should have to explain to anyone, but Harry’s job meant that sometimes they did have to explain themselves.  

 Right on cue, as if he knew she was thinking about him, Harry walked through the doors,  a grin glued to his face. 

“There’s my beautiful wife!” he said sliding a coffee across the desk towards her 

“You’re my hero” she sighed grabbing the cup just before it tipped over 

“Good catch” he smiled “You ready for this?” 

Poppy shook her head “Not really, but you’re doing most of the talking” 

“I know” he nodded “I triple checked that Em was ok with this before I came, met her for coffee, felt the baby kick, he’s getting restless” 

Poppy grinned “What did she say?” 

“She’s all good with it, she wrote down some things I could say on her behalf, but she didn’t want to be on the radio” 

“I don’t blame her for that” Poppy sighed “I hate the sound of my own voice” 

“Just don’t put the headphones on,” Harry said, “you won’t know the difference” 

“I know” Poppy smiled “We should head to the studio, Clara just went to the news break” 

 “Good morning to anyone that’s just tuned in, it’s 11:32 and I’m here with a very special guest, radio 1’s very own, Poppy Styles!” 

“Hello! It’s weird being on this side of the glass” Poppy giggled, shifting slightly in her chair 

“It’s weird having you here, I’m used to getting your emails to play certain songs while I’m on air” 

“I’ll request them live today” 

“And we’re also joined by your wonderful husband, Harry Styles” 

“Good Morning!” Harry said enthusiastically, “What a beautiful day to be on the radio” 

“Always” Clara said “Now Harry, Poppy, who is my boss, has told me that you’re doing most of the talking here today” 

“She’s my boss too” Harry grinned at Poppy “and I’ve been told the same thing, so I’m glad we’re on the same page” 

Clara laughed “I’m glad! Now before anyone freaks out, you’re not about to drop a new single are you?”

“I am not” Harry sighed 

“And why is that?” 

“I haven’t written any?” 

“And why haven’t you been writing?” 

“Because…..” Harry paused for effect “Poppy and I are having a baby!” 

“Two babies” Poppy chimed in, matter-of-factly 

“Two babies” Clara sighed “That’s a lot of babies”

“It is” Harry nodded “I’m tired just thinking about it” 

“Me too, but talk us through this, because that’s why you’re here” 

Harry shifted in his seat and  took a deep breath before he started talking “So, it was just before my album Fine Line came out, Poppy and I decided we would start thinking about trying for a baby and by christmas she was pregnant but just after new years she had a miscarriage, which was hard, like we’d spoken to our doctor before started trying and she said that it was probably going to happen, but they said that when Poppy was having our four year old Oli, so we kind of just too it as a grain of salt, until it happened and then it happened again a few months later and three more times after that…” He noticed that Poppy’s eyes were starting to water and he moved his hand onto her thigh, grabbing it softly and squeezing gently, a comforting gesture. “And then we had violet, who was born at twenty weeks and we got to hold her….” he paused for a moment while he composed himself, dabbing the tears from his eyes. “And watch her take her first and last breaths and then the doctors took her away and we left the hospital without a baby and it was about two months after that that we started looking at our other options” 

“Wow” clara breathed “You guys have had a rough few years” 

“It’s been a rollercoaster” Poppy said, giving Harry a chance to compose himself “But we feel like we’re at the end of it now, we’re just about to hop off with two beautiful babies” 

“So talk us through the option that you chose” Clara said, steering the conversation back to surrogacy 

“So we knew that IVF wasn’t going to be an option for us” Poppy started “getting pregnant wasn’t the problem, so we looked into adoption and ran into a lot of dead ends because of Harry’s job and eventually we settled on Surrogacy” 

“And that’s what we’re here to talk about right? Because there’s been a lot of speculation and you wanted to address it” 

“Yeah” Harry nodded “We don’t like to share too much of our personal lives, but there’s been some quite nasty rumours about our surrogate, and that’s not fair on her, she’s doing us the biggest favour anyone could ask for, we’re not going to have the world thinking bad things about her” 

“Right, usually you’d let the rumours slide, but there’s someone else involved here and you want to clear the air” 

“Exactly” Harry said 

“Well that’s start off by telling us how you found your surrogate” 

“So we went through an agency and we met with a few women, two of whom choose not to go with us for this exact reason” Poppy said, finally feeling comfortable enough to speak up properly “And then we met Emily, who right from the second we met her made it clear that she knew who we were and all the extra stuff that would come with choosing us and then she told us that she’d seen my instagram post about miscarriage and decided to be a surrogate, so it seemed only natural for us to choose each other” 

“And that was that?” Clara shrugged 

“Pretty much” Harry said, letting a breathy laugh as he spoke “All the paper work was done and then we went ahead with the IVF and we were really lucky that it worked on the first try. We got a phone call one morning to come over to Emily’s house and she showed us all six positive pregnancy tests and we’ve been in this together ever since” 

“So those rumours that you cheated on Poppy?” 

“So false” Harry shook his head “It took me six years to get Poppy to marry me, there’s no way I’d let anyone get between us now” 

“And Poppy is pregnant now, congratulations by the way Pop, but there’s been a lot of speculation that all those posts about miscarriage and infertility were fake” 

“They weren’t, infertility is a real thing that affects a lot of women. I was told when I was 14 that I would never be able to have children, that my uterus isn’t the right shape to sustain a pregnancy to term, and when I found out I was having Oli I told my doctor about my condition and he referred me onto an obstetrician that specialised in complicated pregnancies and it was complete luck that I was able to carry Oli to 36 weeks. When I fell pregnant this time we didn’t know what was going to happen after having had 5 miscarriages in 12 months, it’s still early days really, but at this stage, the shape of my uterus hasn’t been in the way of the baby’s growth and she’s growing big and strong and that’s all we can ask for”

“And how did your surrogate react when you told her you were pregnant?” 

“Oh Em was great, she was so excited for us” Poppy said “It’s actually been a lot of fun being pregnant at the same time as someone else. And surrogacy is one of those things that immediately brings you closer to a person, so it’s been like being pregnant with my best friend” 

“And your little boy?” 

“He’s so excited to be a big brother” Harry laughed “When we told him Em was having a boy he asked if his name was going to be Oli too” 

“Oh that’s precious” Clara smiled “Do you have names yet?” 

“We’ve named our little boy” Poppy said “ Emily helped us do that, but we can’t settle on a girls name” 

“So Emily is involved in your family life then?”

“As much as she wants to be,” Harry said “we’ve left that all up to her, she’s welcome to be a part of everything but we understand that she doesn’t always want to be, like today, we asked if she wanted to join us here and she said she didn’t really want to be on the radio, so she just wrote down what she wanted us to say if we got the chance”

“Well!” Clara shrugged “Now’s your chance” 

“What a segway” Harry laughed as he fumbled around in his pocket  for the post-it note that Emily wrote on. 

“It’s in dot points” Harry giggled and cleared his throat “Firstly, Emily would like to say that she chose to be a surrogate for us because she’d watched her brother and his partner go through the process a few years ago and thought that that was the nicest thing that anyone could do for another person” Harry paused “Which it is, might I add” he squinted at the note trying to read the second point that Emily had written “Secondly, she’s written in very small handwriting that it is also one of the most selfish things she’s done in her life, because it’s something she is doing purely for herself”

“That’s very contradictory” Clara nodded “But I get it, I love the idea of surrogacy can be really empowering for the surrogate” 

“Yeah” Harry agreed  “I mean it is, Em has all the power here, she gets all say with happens to her body during the process and she had complete freedom to choose who she was a surrogate for when she decided to be a surrogate”

“And she gets to experience this beautiful thing that her body is capable of without having to be a mother at the end of it because that’s not something she ever wanted” Poppy said 

“So Emily gets to do the thing that her body is built to do without the lifetime of stress and worry that comes afterward”

“Exactly.” Harry nodded “that falls on us” 

“And you get double the stress and worry because there’s two babies on the way” 

“You say that” Harry nodded “and it’s true, I’ve never worried about something more than Oli,, but he also brings so much joy into our lives, it’s worth all the sleepless nights to see him grow up and smile and be curious about the world. Being a Dad is the best thing ever, even if I am on high alert 24/7. I love that little boy with everything I have, and I have so much room in my heart for these two babies on the way. We just can’t wait to meet them both” 

“And on that lovely sentiment that has me and Poppy in tears, we’ll go to the news” Clara said.

[gingerambition]

Ginger vs. Labor Day Weekend

While you were in The Hamptons enjoying your last weekend to wear your white supremacy, I was smacking murses butts and gearing up for a sexual harassment case. Just kidding, the only butt involved was my own, at an urgent care, getting 2 shots because, “well, technically you should be in the ER because we don’t do IV antibiotics here, but we’re gonna give you a couple shots and hope that works.” Mad respect for the blatant medical procrastination and pure laziness approach, very ballsy, which I’m usually all about - like that is my healthcare aesthetic to a T and my personal recommendation to replace Obamacare - but it didn’t work. I should’ve known since it typically takes about 4 shots for me to feel anything, including joy.

I spent three days and two nights posted up in a twin size bed at the hospital with a kidney infection. It was like the world’s shittiest sleepover party where instead of staying up until 2 AM playing 20 questions with boys over AIM asking boxers or briefs, a nurse is drawing your blood in the same spot for the 8th time. Hand to God, not the first time I’ve half-asleep said, “try another hole.” The nurses kept trying to get me to walk around the halls in my anti-slip crew socks with my IV poll and I was like F to the no am I walking around braless and hunched over like the evil queen in Snow White. If I can’t at least duct tape my tits together I am not leaving my bed. (Yes, that is an actual thing I would do in college when mesh back bodycon dresses were trendy, and apparently still are if your last name is Kardashian. Nice little duct tape bridge across the mosquito bites does the trick every time. Easy to take off when you’re drunk, hard to explain in the morning when it looks like the dude robbed a Home Depot.) 

This all started Tuesday AM when I began having some aggressive back pain. At first I thought oh my god, are my boobs big enough to complain about my back hurting?! But then I looked down and could still see my feet, so no. From there I assumed, and my primary care doctor agreed, I just inflamed some muscles unpacking boxes of my literal relationship baggage Monday night because my ex finally shipped my stuff and I was thrilled to go through 3 boxes all labeled “wine glasses.” 

Skip ahead like my parents watching “Game of Thrones” to Friday night, and I’m puking, shivering under a blanket wearing an off the shoulder top so I legit look naked, and taking a bean bag to the face for being lame at a pregame. Obviously I didn’t make it out. The following urgent care details, ER visit #1 Sunday AM, and ER visit #2 Sunday PM, are boring and nothing like Seattle Grace, but it was basically multiple male doctors mansplaining a UTI to me. 

Just for a little background info I’ve had an unusually high number of these in my lifetime, probably close to 30, and if you’re a girl you fucking KNOW when you have one. No part of you is like, “Mayyyyyybe it’s a UTI? Idk, I’ll finish my Panera you-pick-two, chug a La Croix and see if I feel better.” No, if you’ve had a UTI your only thought is, is this urge to pee legit or nah. When you finally get to squeeze those two drops out it feels like birthing a thousand hot steak knives like you’re the dishwasher at a god damn Outback. But yes Dr., please go on about “vaginal irritation” after I’ve already told you I’ve had both a UTI and a kidney infection before. 

One of the tests they did was an ultrasound to check out my lady tubing and the doctor must’ve referred to me as a “unmarried young female” like a thousand times. “We run this test on unmarried young females . . . avoiding radiation on unmarried young females . . . paints a really clear picture for unmarried young females . . . “ Fairly certain I involuntarily rolled my eyes every time he said it too. I must’ve looked as crazy as I actually am.

I don’t even known how I got the kidney infection in the first place. Certainly not the fun way of forgetting to pee after drunk sex. Haven’t been chilling in any wet bathing suits or sitting spread eagle in a bubble bath lately either. The last time I had a kidney infection was 2012 while was dating my ex and I thought, if that dick can put me in the ER, that is the dick for me. I legitimately had that on my list of reasons why I thought he was “the [first] one.” I sure know how to pick ‘em, huh?

Anyway, I briefly moved into the hospital, watched a shit ton of TV, ate my weight in cubed citrus jello, and stole a mug because if I am going to pay 10k for this weekend and not leave the state I want a souvenir. Didn’t meet a single attractive nurse, doctor, surgeon, urologist, or food services employee. I barely slept because CT scans after midnight are apparently a thing and if I did fall asleep it wasn’t for long because sleeping with your IV hand under your head fucking hurts. Now I’m home, unable to drink for 9 more days (not that I have a countdown like its Christmas) and have just enough energy to stay awake but not enough to be productive. Good thing I drunk bought a dart board on Amazon last weekend. Until next time tacos and hot dogs.

[nevermindthewind]

the light can get in

37 weeks, 2 days.

Laurel was many things, but early was never one of them.  Since she was a little girl she was always the last one out of bed and throughout college she had a strict no class before 10 am rule.  She was never on time to meetings or dates.  Even her period was always a day or two late. It wasn’t out of disrespect or flightiness (well,maybe a little flightiness); it was just simply part of her nature.

Which is why when she woke up to cramping at 3:00 am three weeks before her due date, the fact that she could actually be in labor didn’t even cross her mind.

This didn’t really feel like labor.  It didn’t hurt, not exactly; it was more annoying than anything. The discomfort was mostly in her back…and in the lack of sleep.

Besides, she would know if she was going into labor, right?

Eventually she tried to go back to sleep, writing the feeling off as Braxton-Hicks. But every time she’d put in the effort to roll over, change position, and begin to drift off, the cramping would return like clockwork.

Clockwork.

Shit.

She should be timing these. Just to be safe.

Dr. Nelson had warned her that many first time moms didn’t deliver until a couple days after their due date.  Knowing her body she had assumed she’d fall into that camp.  But as she timed the contractions and realized they were exactly 12 minutes apart, Laurel started to think her daughter might be more like her father. Her father who was still sound asleep, oblivious to Laurel’s restlessness.  

Laurel thought about waking Wes up, but she didn’t want to wake him until she was absolutely sure.  She knew he’d want to be there for her, but she also knew that as soon as she told him it’d be real. And she wasn’t ready for that just yet.

However after rereading the section on labor in her pregnancy book and consulting the Internet and going through a particularly painful contraction, after another hour Laurel had to admit it.

She was in labor.

It was time to call in reinforcements.

“Wes,” she whispered as she poked his shoulder. Nothing. She poked him again and, again, he didn’t move.

“Weswesweswesweswes,” she repeated, poking him repeatedly until he finally rolled over.

“What is it?” he murmured, still not opening his eyes. She sighed, rolling her eyes.

“I think I’m in labor,” she said pointedly. He raised his head and opened his eyes, confused.

“Wait what?”

“The baby. It’s coming.”

That did it.

He popped up, wiping sleep from his eyes.

“Are you sure?”

Laurel nodded, “Pretty sure.  I’ve been timing everything and my contractions are now 10 minutes apart. Like exactly.”

“But your due date is still, what, three weeks away?” he said, his tired brain taking forever to put two and two together.

Laurel opened her mouth to answer, but just then another contraction started and took her breath away.  She bit her lip as her hands immediately went to her lower back, attempting to alleviate some of the pressure.

Wes’ eyes widened.

“Shit you’re serious.”

Laurel let out a tiny laugh and nodded as she tried to breathe.

“What can I do?” he asked, immediately wanting to help.

“My back,” she exhaled.  Wes quickly moved so he was sitting behind her and began kneading his thumbs into her lower back.  Once he took over he felt Laurel relax the tiniest bit, her breathing becoming more and more regular as she rode out the contraction.

As soon as it was over Laurel leaned into him, taking his hands into hers and wrapping them around her giant belly.

“We get to meet our baby today,” he murmured in her ear, his eyes sparkling. She squeezed his hands.

“Poor kid’s not gonna know what hit ‘em,” she joked back.

“Please, with you as her mama? This kid’s gonna realize she hit the jackpot pretty quick,” he replied, kissing the back of her head. Laurel smiled, but her eyes were still full of anxiety.

God, I hope so.

–

“Well it’s official,” Laurel said as she hung up with her OB. “I’m in early labor.”

Wes popped his head into the bathroom doorway.

“And everything’s ok?” he asked quickly, his toothbrush still in his mouth.

“Yeah, she said 37 weeks is uncommon for your first kid but completely safe and that some babies are just ready earlier than others. But– ”

“Ha! Takes after her dad,” Wes interjected with a smirk.

“But,” she said again, raising her eyebrows playfully, “She said we don’t need to go in until the contractions are five minutes apart or my water breaks. So we have time.”

Wes finished up in the bathroom and then made his way back to the bed.

“Okay good,” he said, scratching the base of his neck. “So now what do we do?”

Laurel shrugged.

“We wait, I guess. Ride it out.”

He nodded, taking her hand into his.

“What do you wanna do?” he asked.

“Right now? I think– “ but once again she was cut off by a contraction. She inhaled sharply as her muscles began to harden.  

And once again Wes jumped into action, kneading her back and reminding her to breathe.

–

They spent the morning in a weird state of limbo.  For the most part it was like any other summer morning.  Laurel stayed in bed, not having any desire to move as the contractions slowly got closer together and more painful, while Wes called into his internship to take the day off, only to have his call go straight to voicemail.

“That’s weird,” he commented as he hung up.

“What?”

“My office is closed,” he clicked his phone to check the time and that’s when he noticed.

“It’s the Fourth of July,” he said with a laugh. “Did you know that?”

“No!”  she exclaimed, checking her own phone in disbelief. Sure enough, he was right. She giggled. “Who’dve thought our immigrant baby would choose to be born on the most obnoxiously American holiday?”

“I know,” Wes chuckled.  “Now we’re officially living the American dream.”

Laurel smiled as she shifted in bed, trying in vain to find a better position. After a couple minutes she let out a huff of defeat.

“I think I need to get up and walk around,” she said as she attempted to roll herself into an upright position.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, now that she’s awake and kicking up a storm there’s no way I can get comfortable laying down.”

So Wes came around, helped her out of bed and together they walked. The walked lap after lap around the apartment, always being sure to stop at the table when she felt a contraction begin.  She’d lean over the table, letting her belly hang beneath her as Wes rubbed her back and gently encouraged her.  

Laurel never would’ve expected it, but those hours they spent walking through the apartment proved to be some of the most romantic moments of their relationship. It was incredibly intimate, the way he’d hold her through each contraction. He was so attentive, understanding just when she needed him to hold her and what to say to keep her relaxed.  And in turn she learned to lean on him, trusting that he would be there to fall back to. He was grounding her, and that was no easy task in a time where she could easily begin freaking out at any moment.  

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to have the baby, because she did. She wanted this baby so much it hurt.  As soon as she saw her in that first ultrasound, Laurel had loved that baby more than anything.

No, what terrified her was the fact that sometime in the next few hours there was going to be a person in this world who was her responsibility, who would depend on her for everything.  And Laurel was absolutely petrified of fucking that up.  

–

Around noon her contractions were consistently five minutes apart, and at 12:05 her water broke, meaning it was time to head to the hospital.

It was only a 15 minute drive and, normally, 15 minutes in Philly was a breeze. But when your body was threatening to rip itself apart every five minutes and you had to stay in one very uncomfortable position the whole time?

Yeah, 15 minutes might as well be 15 years.

In contrast, by the time they got to the hospital everything seemed to be moving in hyper speed. The contractions were longer, closer together, and already ten times more intense than they had been when they left.  It was all Laurel could do to keep from crying out in the middle of the waiting room. Upon seeing Laurel double over and clutch Wes’ hand in pain a nurse immediately brought over a wheelchair and checked them in, leading them to a room on the third floor.

As soon as the nurse left Laurel vomited.

“This,” she panted, “is terrible.”

“I know,” he said gently. “But you’re doing amazing.”

“No I’m not,” she replied, shaking her head as she wiped the sick from her mouth. “I just threw up, pretty sure that’s the opposite of amazing.”

“Laurel. You’re literally pushing a human out of your body. Trust me, you’re fucking incredible.”

She just gave him a small smile.

–

Half an hour later Dr. Nelson came in to check her.

“Already eight centimeters,” she said as she took off her gloves. “Baby should be here in a couple hours.”

Wes squeezed Laurel’s hand, excitement in his eyes.  Laurel, however, had only one thing on her mind.

“So am I able to get an epidural or something now?” she asked, a hint of desperation in her voice.

The doctor gave her a sympathetic smile.

“Unfortunately you’re too close to delivery for me to feel comfortable giving you an epidural.  I’m really sorry.”

“You’re kidding,” said Laurel, looking from Wes to Dr. Nelson with tears in her eyes. “But it’s in the birth plan. You said I could have an epidural.”

“I know, but those plans change,” she explained.  “If we gave it to you now it would be too strong and you wouldn’t be able to push.  It’s safer for you and the baby and that’s what matters to us.” She patted Laurel’s leg warmly and stood up to leave.

Laurel just nodded, unable to speak as a new wave of anxiety washed over her.  Sure, women give birth without pain meds all the time, but she’d been counting on that epidural.  This whole time she kept thinking that all she had to do was just get to the hospital and then there’d be some relief.  She hadn’t even thought about having the baby without it. Now here she was about to push a baby, an actual live human, out of her body.  Without any help.

And that was when, for the first time in 11 hours, Laurel started to cry.

“Hey,” said Wes gently, running his hand down the side of her face. “It’s gonna be okay.”

But of course as soon as he said that another contraction hit.  

Up until that point Laurel had been pretty vocal during contractions; she was definitely not afraid to yell or groan or make whatever other noises she needed to make to get the contraction to pass. Occasionally during a particularly rough contraction she’d start yelling strings of profanities, both in English and Spanish. She also was not afraid to take out her emotions on Wes, so by now he was used to her different, well, sounds.

But during that contraction Laurel only let out the tiniest whimper. Tears continued to roll down her face, but her eyes were also filled with something Wes had hardly ever seen on her face: fear.

Even though it was the quietest she’d been all day, it was that little noise that scared Wes the most.  

“I’ve got you,” he murmured, taking her hand and rubbing tiny circles with his thumb as she squeezed. “You’re okay. I love you. You’re okay.”

“It hurts,” she whispered, her voice small, broken.  

“I know. I’m so sorry,” he replied, his voice full of sympathy. “You’re doing so well, though. You’re so freaking strong.”

“I’m not,” she said, gulping in air as the contraction built. Her whole body seemed to be at war with itself and all she wanted to do was surrender.

“You are,” he countered gently. “I know it’s overwhelming and it hurts like hell but there isn’t a doubt in my mind that you can do this.  You can do this.”

He repeated a string of encouragements until finally the pain faded away, giving her a moment’s reprise.  She was quiet for a minute, but then,

“Wes?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m really scared.”

She looked up at him and as brown eyes met blue Wes knew she was talking about more than just the lack of pain meds.

“I know,” he nodded. “But you and me, we’re gonna figure everything out, ok? I’ll be right here the entire time.”

“You’re not gonna leave?” she asked, vulnerability seeping through her voice. It was such a simple question, but to Laurel, who had been left behind more times than she could count, it was everything.

“No, I’m not gonna leave,” Wes replied, his voice gentle, yet steady. He leaned over and softly kissed her temple. “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.”

And for the first time since she could remember, when someone told her they weren’t going to leave, she believed them.

–

Josefina Rose Gibbins-Castillo came into the world two hours later, crying right along with her parents. She was tiny, pink, and perfect.

A nurse placed her on Laurel’s chest. Wes cut the cord.

Laurel was sweaty and exhausted, but the minute they placed Josie on her chest all of that was immediately forgotten.

“Hey peanut,” she whispered as she ran her hand over Josie’s tuft of dark hair.

“I’m so glad you’re here.”

–

Laurel woke up to see Wes facing away from her talking to the baby, who was swaddled up in his arms.

“I’m not gonna lie, I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing when it comes to babies. I’ve never even held a baby before, at least that I can remember. But luckily we’ve got your mama. She’s amazing, your mom. She’s patient and smart and she loves you so much. And for some reason she loves me too.”

Laurel’s heart felt like it was about to explode listening to Wes interact with their daughter. She’d never had a good example of what love was, but now she had two standing right in front of her. She loved them so much it almost scared her.

“The three of us, we’re gonna have so much fun,” Wes continued. “Maybe we can go to the zoo! My mom took me to the zoo when I was a kid. It was my favorite. I always liked the monkeys best. I wonder what your favorite animal will be?”

“My favorites were the zebras,” Laurel interjected quietly, a sleepy smile on her face. Wes turned his head, smiling apologetically.

“Did I wake you up?”

Laurel shook her head, still laying back against her pillow.

“Let me see her,” she said, reaching her hands out towards Wes. It sounded silly, but even though she’d only been asleep for a couple hours, she actually missed Josie. She needed to see her, needed to remind herself that she was real.

Wes walked over and placed Josie in Laurel’s outstretched arms.

“God, she’s perfect,” she said as she studied her daughter’s sleeping face. “She’s got your nose.”

Wes scrunched up his face.

“Really? I think she looks just like you.”

“Nah, there’s definitely some Wes in there,” she replied. Josie let out a little grunt, causing Laurel to smile. “See? She agrees with me!”

Wes grinned, unable to take his eyes off his girls.

“Well, I can’t argue with that now can I?”

–

That night they could see fireworks from their room. Wes moved Laurel’s bed over to the window and the two of them watched side by side on the bed as Josie slept on Laurel’s chest.

She reached down and found Wes’ hand, interlacing their fingers together. He turned his head towards her.

“You ok?”

She was more than ok. For the first time since she could remember she felt completely safe, and it was all because of him. He’d seen her at her most vulnerable, and he stayed. And somehow, he loved her even more.

She simply nodded.

“Thanks for staying.”

He smiled in understanding and planted a kiss on her forehead.

“Always.”

[betta-resplendent]

Warning; Needles, blood. No pics it’s k

i have a super tender bruise on my hand :C

TL;DR: Had MRI. Needed contrast. Was stuck 4 times. Once in the hand. Vein blew. Needed a goddamn ultrasound to the arm to even find a good vein.

Super long post but I tried to make it at least a little humorous for anybody who actually wanted to read it. I kept blood to a minimum. :c

I had to have my MRI rescheduled from Tuesday; I ended up having it on FRIDAY of this week (yesterday), and because I’d already had spine surgery in 2012 they wanted to do contrast. Which means IV.

Now, I don’t know if it’s because of my weight, or I have naturally deep veins, or a combo of both but I have ALWAYS been a hard stick. I usually don’t leave hospitals without at least two bandages where they tried to poke me and failed to get anything. It once took two nurses at a MedPoint to stick me because they can only have 3 attempts before they have to find somebody else to do it. I have scarring on the inside of my left elbow from the amount of times I’ve been poked and prodded. You’d think, after all of this AND two steroid injections in my back (THAT SUCKED OH MY GOD I NEVER WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN), I’d be used to this. However I still have a horrid fear of needles, to the point where usually I have to look away and squeeze something, whether it’s somebody’s hand or the damn chair I’m in (or in this case, the blanket they wrapped around me)

But yesterday was the absolute worst it’s been since the steroid injections. Now, to give the nurses credit they were super nice and clearly felt bad for all the prodding. They kept me calm, even got me multiple warm blankets because between the anxiety and the room being cold AF, I was shaking so bad I could barely speak. I hadn’t slept at all that day, and the appointment was at 8:30. I was exhausted, so I think that amplified the pain by quite a bit. I laid down, the nurse explained what they needed (again), and they started. I gave them a warning that my veins were hard to pin down even with tons of water. I’d even been rubbing the insides of my arm to try and get one to work. The nurse said “Oh that’s alright, we’ll get it.”

Oh boy.

So she wraps the tourniquet on my arm, I pump my fist for a moment and then hold. I’ve done this shit before man. I got dis on lock. She feels around, pressing and rubbing at the skin. Already, she’s getting perplexed. A few soft ‘hrm’s’ here and there as she searched all up and down my arm. I tried to make small talk but I was already trembling like a goddamn baby in a snowstorm, so that wasn’t working out too well. Not to mention I already had the earplugs in so it was hard to hear anything.

She asked about hobbies. I mentioned gardening. She says she has a flowerbed overtaken by weeds. I laughed and said ‘Same.’ We mentioned creeping charlie. I told her about my mint plants. I told her about the dogs. Shit, I even mentioned using fish water for the herbs and talked about Bailey.

Through all of that, she’d gotten increasingly concerned. I think the moment she started smacking at the veins to find something was when she realized ‘this is going to suck’.

She thinks she found one. “Do you want me to warn you?”

“I don’t like surprises when it comes to needles. Yes, please.”

She cleans off the area. She presses again to make absolutely sure she has it. She preps the needle. “Okay, you’ll feel a pinch.”

In it goes. Fucking ow. Anybody who’s had their blood drawn, or gotten an IV, or...dealt with needles at all really (no judgement <3) knows that when you or somebody else misses the fucking vein and start to dig for it, it is the weirdest feeling in the fucking world and it hurts. It starts small, sort of uncomfortable, after the initial stick. The longer it goes, the more it grows. It radiates almost like an itch through the arm. I felt it down in my goddamn fingers at one point because I’m too much of a coward to say ‘enough, try somewhere else’. This goes on for what seems like five minutes (tho i’m sure it was only like, one or two at MOST, probably not even that), before she sighs, “Well, I can’t seem to find it.”

“That’s okay.” She pulls out the needle, wipes away any blood, keeps searching. Keep in mind, I refuse to move my head to look at anything she’s doing. By now another nurse came out and brought a heated blanket to me to help stop the shaking. It helps a little, enough to let them work.

Nurse count: two.

She searches around my elbow. I visibly tense up when she starts searching my hand. I’ve gotten my blood drawn from the hand before and lemme tell you that shit hurts. A friend of mine claims that hurts less than the elbow and man do I envy that because that is not the case for me at all.

I think she noticed it, because she didn’t dwell long on the hand before moving on to my left arm.

Tally: Right arm, 1 attempt.

She starts the process again on my left arm. Prodding at the skin, rubbing, turns into slapping at different points hoping for something to come up. I’m now looking to my right, staring at my glasses and the locker key containing my bag and my cane. I counted the damn cabinets, tried to guess what was inside. Anything to keep my mind off of it.

She’s reaching back onto the little caddy she’s got with all the supplies. I prepare myself for another stick. She cleans, she pokes some more, slaps again, cleans one more time.

“Okay. A pinch.”

Here we go again. She misses. More digging. I’m staring up at the ceiling at a dim, horizontal (vertical, from my position, perpendicular to me) image of a sky. I’m assuming that if I’d been put into the machine feet first, perhaps the image would have been turned on to give me something to look at. Maybe it would have moved? I’ll never know. I don’t even know if my head would stick out of the machine. I didn’t even know you could go feet-first. That was news to me. 

She digs for another minute. My fingers start to hurt. That weird radiating numb-pain is going to my shoulder and fingers from the crook of my elbow and god damn I wish it would stop. She lets out another sigh, shakes her head. “Okay. Well. We’re just gonna go ahead and do the first set of images, and we’ll pull you out, try again, and do the last 3 with contrast.”

“okiedokie”

In I went. They were nice enough to provide a cloth to cover my eyes, the ‘emergency escape ball’, as I call it, and put me in. I stayed as still as possible. I shit you not, I was more relaxed in that loud ass machine than I was outside of it. It was also so warm in there omg. I fell asleep in the damn thing. Granted it was more of a cat-nap that I woke myself up from by grunting (whoops), but it’s still astounding I managed to sleep while the machine was screaming at me and taking pictures. 

After the last picture of the first round was done they pulled me out. The two nurses and another nurse was there to prep me for another run to poke at me. I felt like a science experiment. 

Nurse count: Three.

They spoke pretty quietly. I don’t know what they said really. Their tone was more confused or concerned than anything. With the ear plugs I couldn’t really hear them and you can bet your ass I wasn’t gonna look at ‘em either. They tried my right arm again, poking at it. They could find nothing. The first nurse asked, “Has anybody gotten you here before?” while running her fingers over my elbow. I told her no, not to my knowledge, as a bit of a joke. I don’t think it was appreciated but she gave me a polite chuckle anyway. The heat from the blanket was gone so I was back to trembling  again. The third nurse left, came back with a second blanket, and layered it underneath the first to keep in heat. Thank the Gods for nurses.

The first nurse moved to my left arm again, poked some more. She pressed against the spot she’d gotten previously and sighed, “You’ve definitely got some scarring there.”

“Yeah? I’m not surprised.” Only I was shaking so it was more like ‘Y-yeah? m’n-not s-s-surprised’. Fuck, I felt dumb.

She keeps looking. Eventually she focuses on the hand. Ah, shit. I tensed up again and she says, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Do what you gotta do.” Because who am I to argue with a nurse? At this point I just wanna fuckin go home and sleep. And eat because man I hadn’t eaten for ~24 hours and i was hungry af. 

She pokes at the hand, finds one. Slaps at it a little, pokes it again, nods. All three nurses are around me, one next to the nurse poking at me, and the other watching from the far end by the window in case assistance was needed. The humming from the machine was getting obnoxious, the lights were too bright, I was too tired and I just wanted to go. 

“Warning?”

“Yes please.”

She preps the needle. I try to relax, stare back up at the ceiling again. The cloud looks like a bunny. 

“Okay. Pinch.” 

Oh. My. God.

I could have started crying. Well, I did, but not much. The pain was immediate and instead of dulling for a few before radiating it started at 10 and just went from there. She dug for a few minutes, inhaled sharply. Exhaled just as sharply. 

“Well,” and I looked at her, focused on her face instead of her hands. “I found one.”

“Yeah?”

“It blew.”

Fuck me running. All I could manage was “well that’s unfortunate” because oh my god what the fuck am I supposed to say to that? Tbh it didn’t really hurt, though now I’m wondering if the pain was that bad because it blew or if the vein deciding ‘fuck it’ and going out like an abandoned mine shaft was really painless. It was at this point that the third nurse left the room. 

Nurse count: Two. The second nurse left. 

Nurse count: one.

She stepped back from me and apologized. I, of course, said it wasn’t a big deal. I mean jesus, I did warn you, I kind of expect some difficulty but jesus christ not this much. A few more minutes pass. The two nurses that left return, followed by another nurse, somebody that puts IV’s in frequently. 

Nurse count: Four.

So, now it’s his turn. He starts poking, prodding, rubbing, tapping. His hands are far rougher but he’s nice enough, I figure he’s gotta be kinda rough with it if he has any hope of fuckin’ finding anything in the Girl Who Had No Veins. 

He lets out a sigh and another ‘hrm’. I smile a bit weakly, “how long do i got” which earns a couple wry laughs. That’s all I got at this point, don’t judge me. 

They step away to talk for a few minutes. I’m back staring up at the ceiling. The other cloud looks like a fucked up potato with a stick attached to it. 

The first nurse comes back. “He’s going to prep an ultrasound to see if we can’t find something.”

Oh my god. This is new. A goddamn ultrasound. Tf. Again, I can’t argue I’m in a damn flat ‘bed’ attached to a giant machine and walk with a cane. I have no leverage and no escape.

They detach me from the machine and roll me into the room on the other side of the machine. It’s dark as hell, but that’s okay. Several people are in the room and start standing around me to watch and/or assist.

Nurse count: Fucking six. Why are there so many people back there is that normal or did I become a sideshow somehow?

He gets the machine prepped, uses that nasty gel stuff, and starts pushing against my arm. It takes maybe two minutes to finally find one he’s satisfied with. He presses his goddamn nail against the area for a solid 30 seconds while the other nurses get the saline and contrast fluid. I looked up at him like ‘tf?’ and he just gave a weak smile, “Marking it so we don’t lose it again.”

Fffffair enough. Mark away.

The nurses get back, he does the injection, they push through the saline, then the contrast. “You’ll taste or smell something funky.”

Gross. They were right and I hate it. I don’t even know how to describe it. 

The contrast was put in, she told me it would feel ‘cool in temperature’ which...it really didn’t. I didn’t feel a damn thing. They finished that up, I was wheeled back into the room with the machine, realigned, and we finished the last 3 pictures. They removed the IV when I got out, and I swear I could not have hobbled out of there fast enough. I bought a sandwich at the hospital cafe and ate it the moment we got home, chatted with my girlfriend a bit, and went tf to sleep.

I dislike hospitals. Greatly. I don’t blame anybody really, it was all one big clusterfuck and they were nice, but damn.

/story.

[classycollectorartisanposts-blog]

Taking new car home with no insurance?

"Taking new car home with no insurance?

So the car is in my Moms name and she has insurance, but she has to drive her car home, meaning I have to drive the other one. I don't have insurance, but we are getting GAP insurance. Is this safe? If I damage the car are we covered?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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What all do I really needfar as coverage..I have good medical already...what's the minimum coverage? I have a new HD fatboy 2006 with the 1689 cc with custom pipes. I just wantthe basic coverage. How much is a good premium?

I need insurence to pay for my pregnancy?

I hve NO insurence im only 18 idk how to get free insurance so that i can go to the dr for checkups to make sure my baby is okay or even see my baby in an ultrasound i dont know what a mid wife is and i dont know how im going to pay for the birth of my baby :( help i need answers

Can i drive my dads car without insurance?

Alright so i live in Ontario, Canada. I just recently got my G2 licence, and i am dying to drive the car, but my dad isnt sure if he would need to get insurance in my name on the car which i will drive. he already has insurance on the car, however its on his name. Can i legally drive that car if the insurance is not on my name?""

I am growing my insurance agency. Any sugguestions on how to avoid the time consuming busywork ?

I am good at getting people to buy from me, but hate all busywork . I am licensed and live in California, and sell personal health, life, car, and home insurance. I recognize that by not doing all the work, from running the quote to entering the data, that I should not be entitle to the full sum of the commission the carriers pay. Is there any franchise out there that has people who do all the deskwork so I can sell more? Its worth it to me to trade off part of the commish if I can get more people to buy from me. And I feel confident that I can bring more and more people in. My problem is that I lose oodles of time working their dec pages, typing in all their data to the various carriers.. Note: please dont answer if you are a recruiter. I am really looking for a good honest perspective from someone who has been in my shoes......Thanks so much.""

Which insurance company is best for two wheeler insurance?

Which insurance company is best for two wheeler insurance?

""How much will my car insurance go up for 3,475 worth of damage?""

there were no other cars involved and no police report. i am still a dependent on my father's insurance- 23 year old female, however. i have a deductable- just wondering if I am goign to suffer from this...since I am switiching to my own insurance directly after my car gets fixed.""

I was woundering what do you think is the cheapest auto insurance for first time liscence holders.?

I was woundering what do you think is the cheapest auto insurance for first time liscence holders.?

How can I keep my car insurance policy if I sell my car?

Is there a way that I can keep my car insurance policy active for a low monthly payment if I sell my car and plan to buy another one next year? I don't want to cancel my policy due to all the goodies I get, so cancelling will make me a new customer when I try to get insurance again. Has anyone experienced this situation before? Thanks.""

What happens when two people get in a car accident and one driver has no insurance?

I got into a car accident, the other driver refused to show me her insurance. Her insurance people are calling me that they are investigating her because she got insurance a couple of hours after the accident. What will happen. Also I was found 100 percent liable for the accident because she laid about the accident. What will happen if she did not have insurance at at the time of the accident. Will I get my deductible back? What are the laws for this in CA.""

Taking new car home with no insurance?

So the car is in my Moms name and she has insurance, but she has to drive her car home, meaning I have to drive the other one. I don't have insurance, but we are getting GAP insurance. Is this safe? If I damage the car are we covered?

""What do you think is the best, most reliable, and inexpensive AUTO INSURANCE company?

In the state of FL.

How much to insure a car?

im a 16 year old girl that is trying to save up for a car. im hoping to get a car at 2500 max. is there an amount that the registration and insurance would cost. I need to know how much i have to save. thank you :D ps. in utah

Can a 20 yr old college student get medicaid for health insurance?

Her dad is on disability and her mother has left and is living in another state. She gets financial aid and grants. Right now she has no health insurance at all.

Estimate the affordable mortgage and the affordable purchase price for the Bergholts? Please help if you can.

Kim and Dan Bergholt are both government workers. They are considering purchasing a home in the Washington D.C. area for about $280,000. They estimate monthly expenses for utilities ...show more""

What do I have to do to get a motorbike license?

I already have my drivers license, and I am 17. Also, is buying a motorcycle + insurance cheaper than buying a car+insurance? My parents are unwilling to pay for me.""

I'm 17years old how much would it be to insure a Volkswagen Golf?

I'm 17years old how much would it be to insure a Volkswagen Golf?

What happens if I become a part time student while on my parent's insurance?

What happens if I become a part time student while on my parent's insurance?

It is good to Invest in LIfe Insurance than a Bank?

Life Insurance cover -Accident insurance -Death Insurance -Hospital Insurance -and they say you can retrieve the money that you've deposit if you don't like to continue with a good interest. anyway the life insurance that i talk to is sunlife flexilink, they say it is good to invest unlike in a bank please give me an advice, thanks""

Drive without car insurance?

My car insurance just expired I can't reinstate it until I get paid on friday I only have 88 dollars until then. I don't have to drive anywhere until then But I don't have any food or toiletries. The store is 1 mi each way from my house I don't have anyone to take me to the store. Would I likely be ok if I took myself?

How much does car insurance cost?

I am 20 and a new driver. I drive a corolla 2009. How much would car insurance cost in canada? What is your average car insurance? per month or per year? would it be like $100 per month or what? just an estimate doesnt have to be exact

What is the difference between PIP and Medical Coverage?

I am trying to educate myself on how car insurance works and I found these 2 different kinds of coverage, Personal Injury Protection (PIP) and regular Medical Coverage. The way I have seen them both defined is almost identical. What are the differences between these 2, can you get them both, and if so what benefits would having both policies have? Thanks!""

Insurance Tips! Needed ASAP!?

i have to get new insurance before i register my car. i have an 2006 chevy cobalt ive been in 2 car accidents and i haven't had my D.L for more then 3yrs. Could i take some kind of defensive driving class to get the points of my record and a lower insurance payment? if you don't have anything useful to say plz do not answer THANKS=)

""New to real estate, question about auto insurance?""

I drive my parents car but i am not insured, now that i've joined a real estate firm, they want me to have them as an additional insured. So what can I do now? Do I have to get insurance under my name? And how much would it cost to get the firm as an additional insured?""

Where can i find low cost health insurance that can include dental? I am in GA.?

I havebeen looking everywhere for health insurance that includes dental(because I want braces)but they are so much (like 290 for a adult and 2 children) I am 16 years old looking for health insurance for my dad,me,and my sister.""

Friend on my car insurance?

I have a friend (age 21+) who needs to get a car insurance but she only has a learner's permit and she cannot get an insurance herself. She has a car under her name. I am willing to add the car to my insurance and have her as a secondary driver. What are the risks I have? Am I, first of all, allowed to add a car which I do not own? Does my insurance premium go up if she gets into accident?""

Do you sell car insurance? PLEASE LOOK IF YOU DO! :)?

HI! I used to work at Cost-U-Less Insurance in Humboldt county Northern California... about 5 years ago. we worked on commission only.. so if you didn't write a policy you ...show more

Whole life insurance policies?

I need financial opinions on whole life insurance policies and am afraid to ask an advisor for fear that he/she would try to sell me something. We purchased three whole life policies in 1991. I know now that most experts advise against them now because of the high premiums, and advise buying term and investing extra money elsewhere......but we have accumulated a lot of dividends over the years but we're at the point now that we are tired of paying the premiums and thinking about having the dividends pay for the policies until the dividends run out....and then of course we would start paying for the polciies again. Is this a mistake or should we continue to pay the premiums and keep thinking of it as an investment or more money if one of us dies prematurely? Another thought.....we will be having future college bills whereas we can try to get a student loan or borrow against these policies with an option to payback with interest or not pay back at all thus taking away from death benefit. What's your opinion on this?""

How much would taxi insurance cost?

How much would it cost to insure a car essentially as a taxi? Also how much would it cost for a person to be insured in a customers car (any car they drive)?

""If you're 17 and you're borrowing your parent's insured car, do you have to have your own insurance?""

I am 17 and recently got my license and while my parents are deciding whether to get me a car or not, they are letting me borrow theirs. Both of their names are added to the insurance of the car, does my name have to be added too? Or can I simply drive their car on their insurance?""

Car insurance rates for a new teenaged driver?

So we have State Farm car insurance and our 17-year-old daughter is attempting to get her license. She has straight A's and is doing their Steer Clear program. Does anyone have an estimation of how much this will increase our insurance rates?

Is it true that red cars cost more to insure?

I live in Oregon if that makes a difference.

17 years old and my car insurance is way too high...?

I'm 17 years old and I live in the state of New York. A few months ago I had a little accident with my moms cars. My father said he'll buy me a car if I pay for insurance... but my insurance would be 3600 dollars per year which I won't be able to afford making minimum wage. Is there anyways I could lower the price for insurance? I really need some help thank you!

Mustang GT for a teen? insurance question?

When i graduate from highschool my dad is going to buy me a mustang GT 2005 and i was wondering if it was a good choice. when i go to college i am goin to hav a job so will i be able to afford a mustang insurance? How much will it run about (estimate). Thx in advance, ~Key key24~""

Health Insurance for Immigrant 65+?

My parents and I are bringing my grandmother from India and were trying to find an affordable health insurance plan for her. She has never worked in the U.S.A. so she is not eligilble for Medicare or other programs like it. She has pre-existing conditions. I was hoping to get $100,000 of coverage, but I would appreciate all the options I have so please list them all. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HELP!""

Insurance on car group 3?

I'm 17 and only just started driving, i'm looking into buying cars and I can't afford a high insurance price i'd say my top price would be 1800 pounds, i'm looking for buying a car with insurance group 3. Is this to high? will the insurance be through the roof? i'm not very experienced with this so all help would be welcome.""

Taking new car home with no insurance?

So the car is in my Moms name and she has insurance, but she has to drive her car home, meaning I have to drive the other one. I don't have insurance, but we are getting GAP insurance. Is this safe? If I damage the car are we covered?

New driver looking for cheap insurance?

New driver looking for cheap insurance?

Can i get full coverage insurance with a suspended drivers license?

Can i get full coverage insurance with a suspended drivers license?

Why are big company's going to drop health insurance and just pay the government a fee to save money?

obama said we would be able to the same insurance. did obama lie to us?

What is the cheapest auto insurance you have found for Louisiana?

We by far are one of the highest rated states in the US. I am looking for ways to save money and I am sure this is a good way. What company works for you?

Is It A Good Idea To Get Rental Car Insurance?

I was posed that question yesterday when I rented a car.

Can anyone help me find cheap car insurance?

I'm 17 and live in the UK and I'm currently learning to drive. I really want a Fiat 500 when I pass my test, but the insurance is really expensive. My parents say they won't pay for it if it is more than 1000 a year, as I attend a prestigious driving school and they already pay my fees. However, my mum wants a new car and was considering a Fiat 500, so I could always be insured as a secondary driver. What's the cheapest way of doing it and can anyone find me a good insurance quote? I have no idea where to start and my parents won't help until I figure it out myself.""

What does insurance mean?

Well I'm 16 and I don't know what insurance means : so I heard that louis' bum has insurance? What does that mean

Car Insurance rip off?

Just a warning anyone thinking of taking out car insurance or renewing their car insurance with the AA check with many other companies first, the quote they have just given me is DOUBLE that of any other like (Direct line,LV,Barclays ect ect) the AA are brokers and the insurance they offered is supposed to be the cheapest they could fined from LV and when I went on the LV web site to get a quote it was half that the AA had quoted.""

""Driver's license address, insurance address, etc. etc. discrepancies?""

Hi guys. Well, to start out with I have my driver's license address set to my uncle's house in pembroke pines, FL, but I live here in Hialeah Gardens, FL. Why do I have it set to my uncle's house you ask? Well, back when I was 18 (i'm 20 now) my mom persuaded me to set my insurance address (progressive) to my uncle's house so it would be cheaper. It's cheaper by like $100. Now, I'm scared I can be legally held liable or whatever if I get in a crash or whatever the case. I mean, I'm sure there has to be some type of deterrent or punishment so people don't do this kind of stuff like me. Another thing I'm worried about is when cops stop me. Since those two years I have only been stopped three times for minor infractions that did not go punished. Another thing is when I have to apply at jobs. Usually employers don't really care that on the application it says pembroke pines as long as I let them know I actually live close to them in hialeah gardens. I recently applied for my security officer D license and the problem is that in some companies I have to put the address that it says on my license like in any other job but, the problem is that they locate your post depending on were you live. If anyone can shoot me any information it would be more than appreciated, thanks!""

""In CA, would my mom's car insurance cover my car?""

I live with my mom in California and we both have cars. I just bought mine recently under both mine and my mother's name but do no have it insured. My mom does have insurance though. I got in a little fender bender a couple days ago but when the report got filed, I got a citation for not having my own car insured. What I mean to ask here is, if my mom has car insurance and my car is under her name as well, would her insurance cover me, therefore leaving the citation void?""

Life Insurance or Mortgage Insurance?

which one is better. I live in canada (BC) I have income disability insurance but it doesn't cover my mortgage amount. Incase of a death of one partner the other will get anywhere from 30 000 to 100 000 (depnds on how death happens) plus monthly checks of app.2000 for 2 yrs plus funeral expenses. I pay 108 a month for this. Shuld i cancel my policy and get mortgage insurance do most people out there have mortgage insurance? Is it true that you can not have more than one policy? any experts out there pls advise?

Does the monthly payment on a lease vehicle include taxes and car insurance?

I am looking to lease a car but I am on a budget. Ive been looking online at some people that want to sell or transfer their lease because I would only want it short term. Since lease cars are usually new insurance would be too much for me to pay, so I was wondering if a monthly lease payment includes it, and taxes.""

Real Estate career vs Insurance career?

to all real estate agents and insurance agents.... I have my real estate, life insurance and auto insurance licenses... have been struggling in life insurance business and trying to start with auto insurance to see how it will work out for me and if I can cross sell life and auto together... Also I am very much interested in real estate, I feel like I love it more than anything but i am so scared to go after that, I am afraid that it will take another year or so from my life to really understand and have it going.... I have been struggling in life insurance sales but we all know that life insurance is kind of secondary but real estate, we know that everybody is making money to have that American dream but I don't know how it feels like to be in real estate business.... so any suggestions, about advantages or disadvantages, about money, in which area I can earn more money, about the activities and what should I do to earn trust and start selling... please advice which one should I choose and why based on your experience.... please teach me something, advice me, comment, and make suggestions.. I am lost and frustrated and don't know what to do ..I really want to what is for me and work hard to make it work ....""

How does car insurance work in Canada...?

Your rate start at +43%, NOT 0, correct? People under the age of 25 are more expensive because (because they're group has a higher statistic of accidents and yadda yadda...) they are a new driver and they are starting at +43%, correct? But are NEW drivers OVER the age of 25 still starting at +43%? Or the day you turn 25, you go from +43% to 0%... because that doesn't seem likely, but that is how the majority of people explain new driver's insurance. Also what is the average yearly deduction rate? I would assume around 2% on average? ***The +43% is based on ICBC's website (They said that is what ever driver starts at) ***It is +43% of whatever insurance you chose for your age, etc, and then 43% ADDED on, correct? Sorry for the ignorance of this question, but I don't live with my parents and am finally looking into car insurance. Besides, there are no bad questions, right? LOL. Have a good one and thank you!""

Why is my car insurance company charging me 2 premiums?

I go through farmers insurance and last month I paid a premium of 94.42 and now this month I'm being charged a premium of $83.70 plus a renewal adjustment of $7.27 does this mean my car insurance is always going to be this high? It was only $67 last 6 month cycle.

Geiko car insurance?

I want to know from someone who has Geiko car insurance if they like it. I currently have Nationwide, and though I love them, I can get car insurance from Geiko for $40 cheaper a month. I am a college student and with only being able to work certain hours and the expense of college $40 is a lot of money to be. At the same time I want to make sure I get insurance from a company I can get in touch with if I have problems. Thanks for any help!""

How much would insurance cost for a 2010 Camaro?

My mom told me if I get a 3.0 this semester and throw in about 5,000 dollars to help then she would get me a 2010 camaro for christmas next year. She said it has to be the v6 base model. I'm 16 years old, a junior in highschool, a guy, my grades are decent, and the cars gunna be white with black stripes, not sure if that affects the price, but its gunna be automatic and my First car. I know some people think are gunna say im stupid for spending soo much on a first car but I really don't need to hear that from you. All I need to know is how much insurance is going to be since im the one paying for that with a part time job.. so what do you think is the cheapest my insurance will be?""

Info on car insurance for a 17 year old girl?

Hi, I am a 17 year old female who lives in the suburbs of New jersey. I will be driving a 1999 year model car and i want to know if anyone can give me a quote on insurance. The insurance will be paid only by me by myself not with my parents. i really need help or else I will never be able to drive! best answer = 10 points!!!!""

Looking for insurance with marcs and sparks?

I need an insurance for an 82yr old to go to america

Around how much does insurance cost for a sports car?

Hello I am looking to buy a 2007 mustang but my dad is telling me it's a bad idea because insurance is going to be too high. The mustang I'm looking at costs 9,989 and I plan to leave a 1000$ down payment and just pay monthly. I need a new car because I have been driving my 2000 Jetta 5 years and every year it has broken down on me at least 3 times! And last Friday I'm hoping it broke down on me for the last time. I need a new car. I only pay 35 for insurance right now I only have liability and I understand that since I am not paying for the mustang up front I'm defiantly going to need full coverage. Im 22 years old and i finally got promoted at work So I want to get something nice for myself. I still cannot afford a brand new car so I am looking to get a decent used car. I fell in love with this mustang & it's not that I can't afford the insurance (I don't even know how much it cost?) but my dad says I should save money and not get a sports car. I'm just not sure how to go about buying a car. My dad pretty much isn't helping me since I'm really interested in this one so I'm alone on this process. can someone please help me out ?""

California teen insurance question?

How much would insurance for a 16 year old beginning driver in a 25,000 car in California be. Thanks in advance friendly Yahoo Answers users :)""

Republican want to ensure that 45 MILLION Americans have NO Health Insurance part of their 'Family Values'?

These are mothers, fathers, children, babies - who have no access to affordable health care - but who still get sick - and who subsequently (quite often) lose their homes to ...show more""

Im looking for cheap insurance on a land rover series 3 im 17 years old where is the cheapest company?

what is the cheapest insurance company or cheapest option???

Bike insurance on a r6 in the uk?

ok so at the minute im banned 23years of age my ban is up next year so will be 24 when im looking to get insured im not even going to atemp to drive a car i know it will be to dear but have rode bikes my hole life so a big bike head would love to be leagul on a r6/zx6r 600cc sports bike does anybody know what it would cost me for a year for insurance serious answers please no idiots thanks

How much is an oldtimer insurance for a Rolls Royce Silver Shadow II ?

I would like to know how much per month an oldtimer insurance for a Rolls Royce Silver Shadow II or Spirit would cost about per month? I am 21 years old, self employed. Does someone know ?""

Taking new car home with no insurance?

So the car is in my Moms name and she has insurance, but she has to drive her car home, meaning I have to drive the other one. I don't have insurance, but we are getting GAP insurance. Is this safe? If I damage the car are we covered?

How much is insurance on a xr 125?

Hi im 16 with a provisional motorbike license and was wondering how much the insurance would cost me on a honda xr125 worth 2500

Minor accident no insurance ?

I got in a minor accident I'm 17 my dad has insurance but I'm not under that insurance the cop showed up and just told me I had court there was no injuries what am I facing ? My car got chipped the other car was only paint scratches

Health insurance for wrestling..?

hi im a soon to be freshmen joining the wrestling team, and i dont have health insurance.. coach says i do, or i cant play. can someone please tell me a cheap health insurance coverage? my family is not financialy strong.. so please help me out here""

Need help with car insurance questions.?

I'm getting my license in a few months and I am looking into car insurance and so forth. I live in Gulf Breeze,Florida. Taking the drivers ed. class. Make A's in school. What would be the best car insurance company to go with? The cheapest car to insure? Anything really that you know and could give me information on would be greatly appreciated. Thanks""

Car insurance for a new driver.?

How much money would car insurance be for a 16-year old teenage boy? My birthday falls weird so i get my lisence when im sophmore.

Is AARP a good health insurance plan?

I'm in my 20s, any suggetions of a good health insurance coverage plan? hospital, perscription, the whole nine!?!?""

CAR INSURANCE rip off - I was involved in a car accident that wasnt my fault?

Insurance co.deducted $334 from my settlement so the policy is paid in full till July 2010.If I buy another car the policy doesnt transfer to the new car!They have robbed me $334 ? Wont mention the insurance co.(RACV) ooops!

Im looking for cheap or reasonalby priced auto insurance...can anyone give me any tips???

this is my first car and i need full coverage...somebody help me please!

Motorcycle insurance for 125cc?

Hi guys, Just wondering if anyone could help me, I want to get a motorcycle instead of a car - despite what people say I just can't wait to ride to college and back. So I've chosen to get a honda CG 125 which is a decent bike runs from a to b. I'm looking at insurance online and it's around a grand! Is the companies that offer cheap insurance I mean, what's the average price? I'm 18 live in a decent area without much crime - I'm doing my cbt next week and maybe it's fact I haven't been riding (in their eyes) a long time? Any help appreciated!""

""I am turning 16 years, and i really want to drive a moped, how much will my annual insurance cost?""

I am turning 16 years, and i really want to drive a moped, how much will my annual insurance cost?""

I live in pensacola fl and just bought a car how much will the tag and insurance cost?

i just want a estimate also the car is old

How much does affordable health insurance cost?

How much does affordable health insurance cost?

I want the best quotes for health insurance to compare with other insurance company?

I want the best quotes for health insurance to compare with other insurance company.

Braces cost without insurance ??!! HELPP!!! $4200???!!?

Apparently my teeth aren't severe enough for insurance to cover it, but i was told that i still need them. I tried Twice Now (16-17 yrs'ol) in NYC My teeth are similar to hers where on big tooth is a little pushed back and the other forward and the bottom is crowed & one tooth is sticking wayyy out of alignment http://www.public.iastate.edu/~lora/braces_decision.html Iwent to a dentist & they said i would have to pay 4200 for them. Obviously my mom is not going to pay that even with a payment plan, is this the usual cost for braces without insurance coving it ??!!!""

Any good dentists in the Houston area for people without insurance?

My teeth are in awful shape and I would like them fixed before they end up killing me. I hear that happens.

What is a cheap good health insurance company in CA?

hi im 15 years old and i need health insurance for sports and i also need doctor check ups and dental maybe even eye check ups, my parents and i cannot find a company that is cheap and just for me. what is a cheap but good company to go with for health insurance in california?""

Im 17 and i need cheap insuarnce on a 1.0 corsa?

i live in the uk. my parents are not with me..soo this means i cant be a named driver. how am i gna get cheap insurance.. give me tips and cheap insuance companies websites please..

Am I payin the right amount for car Insurance?

I'm 20 years old and I drive a 2006 Hyundai Elantra an pay around $117 for car insurance every month for 6 months. I hear my friends payin cheaper and was wondering if I can get a lower quote. I've been driving for 2 years.

Best Car/SUV/Pick Up-Trucks for Insurance(Young Driver)?

Im turning 20 in a months time, and i will be purchasing a used Car, i will have about $10,000CDN to spend. I found cars/SUV that im interested in, and I've got Quotes off of web sites on how much insurance would be, and so far there all pretty expensive. What Model would be a good choice?""

Why do people keep comparing health insurance to car insurance?

Yes you are forced to have car insurance....if you OWN a car! Why do people keep stating that being forced into buying health care is no different than being federally mandated to own car insurance?

Car insurance 18 year old female in London HELP?

So I'm 17 right now but will be 18 by the time I do my test in a few weeks I Live in London - moving to Colchester in September My dad, who has had tons of years experience, is getting a new insurance policy (he use to be on a mini cab driver insurance but quit so now looking for a new policy) He has a car that needs to be insured, Im not sure what car it is (I do know its a small car with either a 1.4 or a 1.6 engine) but my car is a 2012 Kia Picanto 1 1.0 5DR So far the cheapest insurance on the Kia Picanto I've gotten is 7000 which I refuse to take serious Everything I try doesn't seem to work I've tried: Putting his as the additional driver but me as the main drive Putting me as the additional but main driver Using my colchester postcode rather than my London postcode Tried using 8000 mileage per year I tried using the maximum amount of Voluntary Excess (usually 500) HOWEVER i found a deal on 'Just2Insure' as an additional driver on provisional on the Kia Picanto which was 2000, does anyone know if it will go higher once I've passed and changed to a full UK license? - This will be my dads insurance on MY car though right? If so, what would I be paying because I want to pay the full amount of the insurance thats on my car. - Is there anything I can do to make it cheaper with my dad being on my policy or me being on his? - And how could he insure his car and make me an additional driver but insure my car as well... if thats possible?""

Fee to Drop A Vehicle From Insurance Policy?

I just sold a car, and when I called my insurance company to drop it from my policy, I was informed that it would cost $15 to do so. I know it is only $15, but still that seems a little steep. Just wondering if anyone else has had this experience.""

Car rental insurance in usa?!?!?

I'm going to L.A in october and renting a car for when i'm over there, but was wondering if any1 knows good car rental websites and does this include insurance or do i need to get this seperate? HELLP!!!!. Thanks Joanne""

""Is it just me or when you start searching for online car insurance renewal quotes, a month before the date, do?

the quotes you get go up and up each day? I've got 5 days to go and the cheapest quote I am getting is 80 more than the cheapest quote I was getting at the start of October...is this usual?

Car insurance and license suspended?

i got car insurance on my car i have always had it but my parents say that if i got my license suspended in one state, i dont got car insurance in that very state but i do in any other state, i am totally confused someone please clarify this??""

Taking new car home with no insurance?

So the car is in my Moms name and she has insurance, but she has to drive her car home, meaning I have to drive the other one. I don't have insurance, but we are getting GAP insurance. Is this safe? If I damage the car are we covered?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-average-price-nissan-micra-tiida-including-india-beland-rajka"