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#do not shame people who need help
majaurukalo · 4 months
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I hate it so much that the Western society has demonised the concepts of helping and asking for help.
We are all so scared and ashamed to ask for help that some of us would rather risk life/health/money/whatever is at risk than ask for help.
I myself am guilty of this too. I try my best to avoid help from people because I’m scared they are going to judge me or think less of me or use it as a future weapon to bargain something. Even when it comes to my family.
Why is it like that? And why, when people are in the position to help someone out, the first thing that comes to their mind is: “What’s in it for me?” Or “What do I earn from helping you?”
I don’t know, dude, just you know, you gain the fact that you did something nice for someone else, maybe a friend or a family member? You made a life easier, you have behaved like a decent, good human being as we are supposed to. Shouldn’t that be enough?
But no, we are so attached to money and any form of material interest that helping someone for the sake of it has become wild.
You know what? When you die, you can’t bring your money or objects with you but you can be remembered by all the people you helped out for being a great and good person, someone who was worthy.
This mindset is really damaging to disabled people especially but non-disabled people are affected too because you never know when you’ll need help for any kind of reason.
And no, the concept of help shouldn’t even come with the reasoning of “I’m helping people because maybe one day, when I’ll need it, they will help me”. You might be the luckiest person in the world and never need help, but you can still help others because that’s what makes us humans. No man is an island, said T.S. Eliot and I think he intended this too.
So, give a lift to your friend who needs to go somewhere, help them with groceries, ask them if they need help with daily tasks if you know they struggle. You can even give money to whom needs it if you are in a position to do so.
Don’t just think in terms of interest.
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uncanny-tranny · 7 months
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Hey, if you have speech impediments, you are so amazing.
If you stutter or have a lisp or misspeak easily or you have a flat affect or a limited verbal vocabulary or if your voice is AAC or if you just have a difference in your vocality, you are so incredibly important and amazing.
Just know that your voice is yours. Nobody will ever be able to truly take it away. Your voice is part of you, and you deserve to make it as true to you as you deem fit. I hope you have the space to grow with your voice and whatever about it makes it unique.
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goldkirk · 4 months
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I'm so proud of myself about finances in the past couple months. I still struggle with money but I did enough meditation and journaling and practicing about it to make myself able to actually face my loans and credit cards and savings and bills and start really truly organizing and addressing them for the first time in years instead of just flying by the seat of my pants.
Like. This is a huge deal for me. I've felt like I'm in deadly danger every time I've tried to think about money for years and years. I'm finally able to look it in the face and stare it down and start to organize and plan on purpose instead of just keeping up with the minimum to stay afloat. I'm so proud of myself.
It's still a refrain of "GUILT (funny link)" every time I think about money but I'm able to actually make spreadsheets and face the numbers and monthly tracking again, and even make a new full budget which I haven't been able to do in ages.
still feel guilt, overwhelm, and helplessness, but no longer feel as much deep elemental shame and terror. that's progress baby
#we don't need to talk about how many months and months of therapy visits and doctor appointments I put on credit cards#among other things#but I had to put my foot down about it a couple months ago and shout at myself a little saying HEY#I AM SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS I AM SHOUTING FOR YOU TO HEAR#OF COURSE IT WAS A TERRIBLE FINANCIAL DECISION BUT YOU WEREN'T EVEN EXPECTING TO BE ALIVE#THE CREDIT CARD DEBT WAS NECESSARY TO KEEP YOU ALIVE AND IT DID AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS WAY LESS IMPORTANT THAN THAT#why the FUCK are you feeling SO ASHAMED for making the best decision you knew how to make at the time???#just because you know NOW that you could have tried some other options doesn't mean you did THEN#you may have known enough to feel shame and guilt yes but you would never in a million years have gotten the help you needed fast enough#by attempting to go another route#you didn't trust anyone besides a very few handfuls of people and even them it wasn't fully#and the stress of running it through parental insurance was so terrifying to you bc you didn't know what that would do#and you never had cosigners for anything your whole adult life. it's OKAY#you fucking DID YOUR BEST#YOU HAVE LEARNED. YOU HAVE MADE CHANGES. YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE BETTER#YOU WILL CONTINUE TO LEARN AND IMPROVE OVER TIME#it is not the end of the world. even the utilities sending you to debt collections etc etc#YOU ARE FIGURING IT OUT ONE PIECE AT A TIME#MORE PEOPLE ARE ASHAMED AND AFRAID OF THEIR OWN FINANCES THAN YOU THINK#if the people who fought and argued with and shamed you for considering student loans much less taking them out#had wanted you to actually be financially safer and healthier#they could have just fucking helped out or cosigned your loans or actively helped you find other solutions#instead of spending months and months telling you it was the worst decision ever and would ruin you financially for decades and such#you made the best decisions you could with the level of terror and knowledge that you had. it was enough to keep you alive.#isn't that enough?#isn't it a victory to survive?? isn't that enough??????#god i'm cringing at sharing this but if it's been this hard for me surely at LEAST one of you has also made financial mistakes or regrets#and seeing me be honest that I fucked it all up too and it's a mess and I'm just climbing back through it as best as I can as I go#will hopefully make at least one of you feel a tiny bit less alone
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age-of-moonknight · 8 days
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“8-Ball,” Vengeance of the Moon Knight (Vol. 2/2024), #5.
Writer: Jed MacKay; Penciler and Inker: Alessandro Cappuccio; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Vengeance of the Moon Knight#Vengeance of the Moon Knight vol. 2#Vengeance of the Moon Knight 2024#Moon Knight comics#latest release#Moon Knight#The Shroud#Maximillian Coleridge#Tigra#Greer Grant#Hunter’s Moon#Yehya Badr#Did Mr. Cappuccio have fun with this issue (I hope he had fun this looks like it should have been fun to draw)#thank you Mr. Cappuccio#Also a Marlene mention (gosh I miss her) and an Age of Khonshu reference within a couple pages is wild to me#and just…there’s something here#about yes Max and Marc were incredibly similar with equally great capacities for hurting those closest to them and helping people#but it’s about what you do with that capacity and the need for a healthy basis on which to grow#as opposed to just trying to ignore the past and jump into someone else’s mold#because while there might be similarities not only must each person do the work for themselves but it’s also going to look different???#It’s not only that Max can’t take on the Moon Knight mantle in this way because it’s a way of dodging responsibility for his past#but also because he’s his own unique quantity who if he deals with things can provide unique insights and talents that only he can#he has an endlessly distinctive perspective that only he has and it would be a shame to lose that because he’s trying to be someone else#and I guess that’s just a theme I love so much about modern Moon Knight comics:#brain chemistry may make it so that others disparage someone as «crazy» but they do not dictate the totality of who one is#or what one does and can in fact provide a perspective that no one can replace
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dennisboobs · 5 months
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i think everyone on sunnytwt needs to be sat down so i can explain to them what basic human empathy is. and then maybe i put them in a blender until they agree to write meta about the characters instead of whether or not charlie day got facial reconstruction surgery.
#ada speaks#u do not exist in a vacuum and your words have the capability to harm others#celebrities may not see your tweets but your balding transmasc mutual and your follower who feels self conscious about her nose will#it is fucking bizarre the way these people conduct themselves online#really. really fucking weird man#and then you see them acting like ppl are 'defending rich white men'#instead of taking issue with the actual shit theyre saying#whether or not you think rcg has been 'under the knife' or not#a) how is this any of your business. you are not entitled to this info nor do you have a free pass to criticize someone's personal choice#b) ask yourself why you feel you need to critique alleged surgeries and how they stack up to imposed conventional beauty standards#c) you do not *own* them. you can have opinions on your own attraction to them but#a person getting plastic surgery or hair plugs or whatever is up to them. not you. if it helps to make them feel better then who cares.#just because it doesn't make them attractive to YOU doesn't mean its okay to point and laugh#if a trans guy got top surgery and it was 'botched' would you act like they were stupid for getting it in the first place?#if a trans woman decided she wanted to surgically shave her jaw would you shame her for that?#it's their body. it's not yours.#for the record i don't believe any of them have gotten work done but think its a stupid thing to speculate on regardless#ive watched family members go through plastic surgeries of varying success. ive seen them get botox and hair plugs and everything#normal everyday people do it and it's not always about vanity#it can be for gender reaffirming reasons (and yes this includes when cis people do it) to alleviate dysphoria#trying to point out alleged surgical alterations made is just. gross#not to mention that holy shit MOST of the shit ppl are saying is like. age. different hairstyles. different facial expressions.#maybe if these people actually watched the show theyd be able to see the gang in action instead of staring at pics like spot the difference
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sennaverstappen · 3 months
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starredforlife · 4 months
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If you fucking morons cared one ounce as much for palestine as you do for this horrid little show.
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boltgunkiller-archive · 4 months
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i find it damn near impossible to get mad at santana’s behavior in 3x06 and 3x07 because i genuinely do think she had the right to be lashing out at everybody. sue me idk
#idgaf if she was mean to kurt and blaine when they were “trying to help” in IKAG#they were the first performance & santana was put under the spotlight by the guy who fully outed her to the ENTIRE STATE OF OHIO & now she#-was expected to be just happy and jolly about some bullshit lady music week to celebrate women as if that has anything to do with wtf just#-happened to her by finn’s hands & of course she was upset because she was only back in the new directions because finn basically#-blackmailed her into rejoining like hello!!! so of course she was snippy with them… and tbh i don’t even think she was being that mean.#i think she’d have reason to be even MEANER actually. that reaction of hers was completely reasonable. and honestly it must’ve hurt seeing#-two people who are meant to Get what it’s like.. participate in that? especially when the last thing she wants is her sexuality that she’s#-still very insecure with Being broadcasted. to the whole damn club. it’s already about to be shown to all of ohio with names addresses#-details about her whole personal life etc like she really didn’t need that spotlight right then she needed to have space and love and#-support… none of which she got.#also the glee writers tend to make a character do a bad thing and then have another character do an INFINITELY WORSE THING#and then they’re like “oh but. the first character was being so mean. this absolutely deplorable and wayyyy too far reaction is definitely#-justified now because that was just so mean of the first character ugh!” and basically spins what happened into showing the first characte#-as the most evil person alive??? as if that’s even remotely true.??? and yes this is about santana cause they do this w her#and quinn. a LOTTTT. like a LOT. rn i’m talking ab santana though so i won’t cover quinn sorry fabrayers… one day!#like yes santana was being mean sure whatever. but finn didn’t have an excuse IDGAF what the hell anybody says about the body shaming stuff#it was mean. yes that’s true. but i don’t think you understand how different those two things are#they’re both bad but the outing is infinitely more despicable and personal and filled with malice and it’s so much more endangering in a wa#-that can’t even be compared to the dangers of body shaming you know. like they’re completely different and the outing thing is just too#-personal and Wrong like. idk. just get that through ur head they’re both so different and finn went way too far and personal. he could’ve#-just mocked her looks if he really wanted to get back at her. mocked ANYTHING else. but he chose the worst thing you could do to somebody#who is scared and in the closet and hurting#also yes santana’s written to be rude a lot of the time but her degree of rudeness in those episodes was Overplayed and def not in characte#like it didn’t feel much like santana’s brand of meanness it was 100% the writers trying to justify finn more because they continued to#-paint finn as the good guy who chose the high road… when that couldn’t be further from the truth thanks. he didn’t choose the high road he#-completely blackmailed santana and used her to make him look good basically. so you can’t change my mind on that Def being a writer issue#and just them Hating Women. especially santana. thanks.#also this is all coming from somebody who loves finn. so. 🤣#i fuckingggg hate seeing people say santana was mean and had no right to be doing all of that in those eps.. BITCH YES SHE DID#like in other eps sure (<- nuanced topic/take) but this one? No. she was justified IDGAF. should’ve been meaner
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homophyte · 3 months
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there is a rapidly evolving rhetoric against transgender cowardice that is deeply shaming nd it worries me a lot
#myposts#'medical transition invariably and always will expose u to harm and violence and if it doesnt ur not doing it right'#'medical transition is the single most important thing u can do u have to do it'#what do u mean the first statement makes u hesitant to participate in the second. theres no hesitating in transgenderism#idk man. doesnt seem productive#from like an access barrier perspective or a. compassion toward other people perspective#no consideration for like abusive situations or any other reason someone might not engage w medical institutions#i see ppl who say this act like others are criticizing it because theyre 'forcing people to transition' but tbh#my concern is actually more like. youre making transition seem undesirable and scary and like it will be a negative#ur making it seem like its a loyalty test that is awful but needs to be done#instead of actually promoting it as life saving and vital and doing the political work that entails#ie actually addressing access barriers or abuse or medical trauma or anything really#i guess its easier to sit on the computer and tell other ppl theyre not good enough and especially ahvent suffered enough#making it a point of shame to not be doing X while also portraying X as bad and scary and not doing work to undo the things that make it so#is a bad combination? i think? personally?#its just a bizarre way to talk abt something so positive. as if theres no positives about it.#you just have to do it anyway. for reasons. huh#personally what gets me is that its literally like. yeah if youre a coward theres no room for you. we wont protect or help you.#if youre scared fuck you. heres XYZ reasons to be scared. aww you got scared?? loser#thats what gets me. whats that for what does it accomplish#i mean what is accomplishes is shame but. personally im on the side of the transsexual coward
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rottiens · 2 months
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NO WAY YOU WANNA BANG ENJI TOO. YOU'RE LIKE ME FR FF
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us (we are a reflection of each other)
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lightthatibecome · 1 year
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Re my last rb: don't feel obligated to send if money's tight for you as well, I've been off of work for a nasty cold and mental health stuff and need $2,000 for missed rent and stuff since tomorrow's the 1st
I'll be back to work tomorrow and will be making daily deposits for rent and bills as I work but we're really hurting right now until I can make a dent in that huge amount. If you've got anything to spare please consider doing so, it would be greatly appreciated!
Once we're more financially stable I'll try and pay some back to you or pay it forward on your behalf 💜
C/sh/pp- $angellovinm
P/yp/l- fawnkie00
V/nm/o- MaddieK24
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to be honest i think we need to change how we handle people in our communities with harmful kinks that doesn't rely on punitive justice because that just straight up does not work
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vvizardz · 6 months
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Ya know if blocking people means I get less notes and less interaction then whatever 🤷 I'm just trying to live in any way I can without real harm
Never a single ounce of dignity and self control over optional conversations opted into. Legit just walk away dudes you need to.
Fandom people fr act like I'm their overbearing stepdad they want dead and that's weird af and such a waste. Go take a steamy shit or something to your fave song and maybe you'll feel better idk.
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dmclemblems · 2 years
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dimitri literally is completely suicidal in this game right to the end
is nobody going to actually help this man i mean he literally just said there is nobody he more desires to end than himself and then says he must thank their adversary for letting him kill a phantom of himself
like
is nobody going to help him
not even after this being one of many instances of him being utterly suicidal
i mean he’s very vocal about it
is nobody... gonna... help him...
#Three Hopes#Dimitri#literally like ??? i get that there's only so much time for writing and stuff#but with the amount of times he says suicidal things you'd think they'd have room to like#stick something in there where someone gets super worried#especially after chapter eight I mean you'd think with how strong his support system is#that ppl would be like whoaaaaaaaaaa back up what did you say#BUT NO NOPE NOBODY EVEN SITS HIM DOWN AND TALKS TO HIM and I don't even blame the characters#I blame it on being a poor writing choice bc the characters SHOULD and ABSOLUTELY WOULD#but the writers for some reason just decided not to include it which is kinda lame#he obviously needs a lot more than just a support system alone#as someone who has been in the same mental place and said the same kind of shit just as often#he needs a lot more than just good friends bc good friends are great but that alone doesn't cure the problem#ngl he's the most openly suicidal character probably in the FE franchise and it's a huge shame that#they didn't bother writing in people actually trying to do something about it bc when it comes to#how severe Dimi's mental illness is they did a good job with that esp in AM#but they don't rly have ppl properly helping him through it and you can do that without needing modern therapy#I mean if Rodrigue heard him talking like this you better BELIEVE he would not let it go and would talk to Dimi#it's a shame they basically just left out all the blatant worry and care that everyone would have had
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vlindervin7 · 1 year
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muslims will act violently homophobic in a country that values gay rights and then act shocked when it reflects badly on their community
#non muslims pls don’t interract but i’m sooo mad i just need to rant#also prefacing this by saying obvs muslims are not to blame for racism and islamophobia in europe these things would still exist without#all the controversy but omggg#so this group of lgbt muslims planned an iftar for other queer muslims and they had to cancel it bc of the threats they received#and now ofc all the politicians are going on abt how they cannot accept intolerance and this behaviour is unacceptable in a society that#preaches equal rights for queer people#and like… was that not to be expected??? the very muslims who do shit like this will be the first to scream islamophobia but are you making#ANY effort#this meeting was not for you it does not affect you you don’t even have to think abt it but what makes you think sending threats of#physical violence during the holy month of RAMADAN is smth you should be doing#there is nothing surprising abt the far right (who don’t even support queer rights themselves) to jump on this opportunity to make sure#everyone knows that look!! those muslims refuse to adopt our good belgian values#and yk they’d find smth anyway but let’s avoid adding fuel to their fire by giving them real actual reasons to be concerned#and on the one hand it does feel like victim blaming bc marginalised groups shouldn’t be held responsible for the hatred targeted at them#and it’s not muslims’ fault but i’m just so tired like they really can’t help themselves#something so deeply wrong with muslims who make hating queer people their number one priority like… i don’t think you understand what your#beloved faith stands for#it’s just such a shame to have to start ramadan with this kind of discourse everywhere#exactly 0% of this is surprising i could’ve predicted this would happen exactly but it’s just so tiring on all accounts#you want to live your religion in piece without being targeted for it? what makes you think attacking other ppl wanting the very same thing#is a logical response? use your brain and spend some time doing dhikr instead of spreading hate on the internet what is wrong with you
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gatun-gatunesco · 9 months
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Fleabag
"People make mistakes... that is why they put a rubbers in the end of pencils"
#personal post#So i kind of forced myself to finish Fleabag season 1. Since the beginning i knew was not something i would see for pleasure#of course was very difficult as 1) i have become sex repulsed once again and 2) she is really fucked up. She needs a terapist#it was a recomendation from them and i knew i just see them in the character facing similar problems and similar way of thinking#the last episode hurts a lot and hurts me more after what happened between us. the decisions they made. the way it ended again#i know they wanted to talk about this. i shame myself once again as i was so late to do so. But yet again. i was right about my fears#about how i saw them reflected in her. how they were taking a similar bad road in life. how they mental illness was going to mess up all#after what happened with him. how they did not said anything. how they just give it all to please him and make a nice memory for him#after how they let him just go full gallop and basically let him use them in the most vulnerable moment so far...#i can only wish they learn. that they realize. that they finally could apply something from the life of another person. even if is fiction#after finishing this season. i can understand and let the anger that i had in me vanished just as fast as it came#but the sadness will remain. the event will remain. the need for me to stay away will remain. i can not help them anymore#it will only hurt me not being able to help. to feel powerless meanwhile i just see them going a downfall. mistake after mistake#i could not bear to see the person i cared the most being that fucked up and not try to help. but i already did that mistake. it finished u#my role as a caregiver is still so mixed within myself. as since my mistakes i would not force nor try anything without them doing it first#so. for them that are indecisive yet impulsive. that are people pleaser even when it hurt them deeply. naive with a gold heart#that want to be friends with all as they feel so lonely. Prisoners of they body and themselfs...#going that softly versus everyone else who is more assertive (even them in a impulsive moment) was not going to work just with words#but i can not do it in another way. i am more sensitive and delicate than one could guess just by looking at me. is not in my nature#forceful? nope. without caution? no. fast? no. i can not hold anger. i can not be unforgiving. Even when i always remember#i can still do damage. just not in a convetional way and is mostly involuntary. i am far from perfect but i am also far from terrible#i am a person who also had done mistakes. But being honest. excepting one i never did something so bad i could not forgive myself eventuall#and i say all this because even with all the pain that is forcing myself to stay away. i just hope they could find a healthy road again...#without the need to make more mistakes or do such things that they may not be able to fix or came back at all...#for them to not regret still being alive. to be happy in a good way without destroying themselfs#i just hope i can be able to see that one day. even if is just from far away and as a total stranger#because i like thing no one else would see and enjoy they beauty in they own unique way#vent post#vent tag#tw vent
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