#do some research. put some effort in
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do people not read the notes of a post anymore before they comment? what happened to thinking before you speak
#just the same question over and over#your brains have been eroded by the internet#do some research. put some effort in#the answer is not even two spaces down from you#myramblings
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Vettonso x Similar Helmets
SV Germany 2012 x FA Monaco 2013: Gold & Dark Red

I think a lot about Vettonso and their mutual relationship witn gold. They're both golden boys, they're both seen lit gold by the sunshine on many podiums throughout the years, both have worn golden boots, and as you can see here: both have worn golden helmets. The parallels in these particular helmets makes me feel insane. Both are: gold with dark red accents, both have their birthplace's coat of arms(Bergstraße and Asturias), both have team animal motifs, and both have symbols to represent their two championships(You by now know the signifigance of the ones on Fernando's helmet, but I think the ones on Seb's are actually a callback to his Formula BMW days when he used to put the smiley stickers on his car for every win.)
And did you know both of these helmets were designed by the same helmet design company? Yep, both of these are JMD helmets. I know JMD helmets are/were pretty popular, but still, there's something to me about Fernando commissioning the same designer that Seb has been using since he was a literal child. Parallels, am I right?
SV Japan 2010 x FA Japan 2023: White with Black & Red

Haha I remember @protocolseben and I discussing this a bit back in September when Fernando's helmet dropped. I honestly think Seb is such an innovator and trailblazer in terms of helmet design, and you can see his influence in helmet design as recently as this past season. I'm not sure if he was the first ever driver to don a matte white helmet with red accents as a representation of the Japanese flag, but it certainly envoked him in my mind when I saw Fernando's!!
I think Fernando's is pretty similar to all of Seb's 2010-2012 Japan helmets but I like this one the most so! I think if Seb wasn't restrained by the Red Bull logo, he def wouldv'e put the red circle where Nando put his so I think Fernando did a really good job, even if unintentionally, at emulating Seb's sense of design.
SV Singapore 2012 x FA Singapore 2012: Sparkly!


Like I said in the one above, it's crazy how much Seb influenced helmet design. He was pretty much the pioneer of sparkly helmets for Singapore, right? It drives me absolutely insane that there's actually pictures of them together in such similar designed helmets. It's kinda funny actually that even though they're pretty deep in the championship fight at this point, and Seb just got one up on Fernando; Fernando is wearing a helmet that is a direct influence from Seb!!! Is that not insane???
Also, Fernando trying to be camp with trying the now in vogue sparkly Singapore helmet, and Seb accidentally completely blew him out of the water with his outrageous light up LED constellation helmet. But god yeah....to have pics of them in matching helmets from this era particuarly makes me emotional ;;;
SV Hungary 2021 x FA 2022: Pink with Dark Blue

I really could've picked any of Seb's 2021 helmets, but I thought this one matched the best with Fernando's main 2021 helmet(with the color pallet.) Also one thing, it's crazy how much control BWT has as a sponsor, I don't think I've ever seen another sponsor go so hard at having a chokehold on individuality. I like that we got pink liveries and pink helmets, but I don't think they should have that much control.
I'm almost kinda sad there wasn't any Miami GP in 2021, because I think that was the only unique helmet Fernando had in 2022. But these match pretty well! Pretty in pink!! It's crazy that their parallels in the 2020s are ongoing even before Fernando actually takes over Seb's seat. Thanks BWT I guess?
SV Abu Dhabi 2022 x FA Abu Dhabi 2022: Fernando's Seb Tribute Helmet


AND HERE WE HAVE THE PIÈCE DE RÉSISTANCE!!! The ultimate conclusion, it literally couldn't get better than this!! This is still unbelievable, like how is this an actual thing that happened!? Fernando intentionally branding his helmet, the only symbol of individuality in F1, with his rival's flag colors, HIS FLAG!!!!! Not to mention the literal "Vettono Best Moments" collage he posted alongside it....and the hand-holding....and everything that happened with them at Abu Dhabi 2022....
But god, after years of incidentally making parallel helmet designs, Fernando decided to officially tie the knot of the red string of fate, and make a helmet directly referencing Seb's. I think it's funny because as I said with two of the previously mentioned ones, those Fernando designs are pretty much inspired by Seb's, and here he is openly making one directly inspired by Seb. I don't really have words for how this actually makes me feel because it's just. Yeah. The most open and clear declaration of love and respect and admiration one could ever make. TO ME.
#all of my posts subheading should be: 'its probably not that deep BUT-'#i can't believe ive made two deeply researched and beloved posts in a row one day after the other#posts sponsored by: 12 am red bull consumption. my all-consuming devotion and love for vettonso. and my unwillingness to do schoolwork#i mean i felt a lot of emotions and had fun making it but like. hey. could you put this effort into school?#anyways feeling deeply emotionally affected about helmets and their symbolism#i think in the entirety of f1 seb and fernando are two of the most dedicated and passionate about helmet designs and symbolism?#so this post is very special to me :] helmet fuckers unite <3#again: they say they aren't friends and don't share any hobbies and im just staring at them like YOU IDIOTS!!!#its just that spongebob meme of him pointing out the trashcans. like guys. be fr rn. you totally share hobbies#both like helmet design. paddel and pingpong. sustainability. cars. racing. european football. THE LIST GOES ON AND ON#well im glad they swapped helmets at some point(i think nando gave seb two pretty old ones as well. now thats dedication!)#if they werent cowards i bet they couldve also had a 5+ hour long discussion about helmet design ;;;;;;#thinking also about how fernando has one of seb's in his museum >:) but if only it were one of the ones on this list. sigh.#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion#well lmk if theres any other vettonso helmets you think are similar!!! im pretty blind to seb helmets that arent rbr era tbh#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#vettonso#we do a little bit of f1
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Recent life photos
#photo diary#image 1 & 2 - of course these are just cloud images. But a cool pattern of them :0#3 - another word count of game writing... aargh... Still debating about like allowing other people into the game discord or how early#in the process one should do that.. but social things are just so difficult for me lol.. I shall always suffer for my lack of networking an#self promotion skills. 4 - I was forced to get a new phone a few months ago because my beloved phone of like 10 years finally#broke too much. and I always like to go through the emojis and make a little memo with all my favorites. yaay little pictures of things.#5 - I FINALLY finished all the dictionary entries for the game (which has a little dictionary feature in the player's journal to note#any specific terms and keep track of them (like what 'jhevona' or 'avirre'thel' means. or to remember that the world is called Nanyevimi#and the country they're in is Asen. etc. etc.)). There are 75 defined terms so far and it took me a while to do so out of curiosity I put#all the text into a wordcounter thing and lol.. 8000 words isnt that much I guess but the 30 minute reading time is funny to me. 30 minutes#for my little tiny dictionary panel in my quaint little casual visual novel which is not even lore heavy at all. hee hee (though that's mor#like a minute here and there since obv people are not unlocking every term all at once. you complete the dictionary as you talk to people#and hear them mention new concepts over time.).. ANYWAY..#6 - a very soft and beautiful stuffed animal that I did not buy but wanted to at least document their charm.#7 - stimky boye waiting in front of his favorite straw meowring screaming for someone to play with him (he likes to chase the#straw around). 8 - matcha bubble tea my beloved. 9 & 10 & 11 - some cool flowers I saw. also featuring one of my favorites (columbines!)#Anyhow.. as mentioned in the other photo diary post.. I have just been packing and writing mostly.. The evil summer is coming of course#which me and my health issues always dread. Good news though is I finally got my passport in the mail! >:3 huzzah. Now I just need to find#some fellow aromantic asexual living outside the US willing to take one for the team and fake a marriage with me so I can get the#hell out of the country UwU (<joking) (...mostly... as in - definitely NOT my main goal. but if a viable opportunity presented itself I#would of course give it consideration lol). I know that's already highly regulated but I wonder if it's something that will become even mor#locked down as people hunt for any opportunity to flee. People are out here searching for any loophole. Frantically researching their#entire family tree seeing if there's any chance for a citizenship by descent in whatever place will take them. etc. etc. lol#So I wonder if such marriages are a thing that will come up more often. hmm.. ANYWAY..#I have almost all of my stuff packed even though I don't move until another 1-2 months. But that's the point is to have it all sorted early#in the last remaining scraps of ''cooler'' weather so that then I can just relax up until then. I'm going to try doing another scrapbook#/sketchbook this summer as a Mood Boosting effort. Just to find little things to help with the situational political existential dread and#climate woes. So on days it's too hot to function I can just glue little things to pages and doodle lol.. hopefully.. slowly getting things#off my to do list.. I reaaaaaally want to get back to playing games as it's so fun and realxing to me but..rghgh.. 500 other things..
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Probably one of the worst aspects of the Abusive Adam subplot is how it’s a deeply ignorant person’s idea of what an abuser looks like
To quote Lundy Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That? Into the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men:
An abuser is a human being, not an evil monster... The common view of abusive men as evil, calculating brutes can make it difficult for a woman to recognize her partner’s problem... She doesn’t realize that he can have all these positive qualities and still have an abuse problem.
They don’t pop out the gate screaming and swinging, like Adam did at Beacon. Abusers know how to be charming, how to play to the crowd, how to twist someone’s reality until they don’t know which way is up. Lots of folk don’t even realize they’re being abused because they’ve been so thoroughly convinced that the problem lies with them rather than their partner. What else are they supposed to think when their partner is so kind and generous and loving to everyone but them?
By writing Adam as a purely evil monster with no redeeming qualities, ShawLuna are contributing to the misconceptions surrounding abuse, making it harder for people to understand their situations or be able to recognize when someone they love is in trouble
If you want to read more of the book, which I highly recommend, here’s a link to an online copy. You can also download it as a free pdf
#rwde#adam taurus#blake belladonna#i dont usually tag characters but this is important enough to me that im willing to toss this net further out#and this is yet another deeply heavy and nuanced topic that shawluna did absolutely zero research on#they want to have the aesthetics of mature messages but dont want to put forth any effort into doing it justice#at best they end up saying nothing but more often than not they end up saying some p terrible shit#combine this w that awful speech mrs b gave in the comics where she declares womens purpose is to fix men#like. unironically#shawcross has gone on record to say that everything in the comics was approved by the team so. uh#that doesnt exactly make him look good
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echo - outtake
(This little scene is an outtake from a fic I'm working on polishing. It didn't fit, because the flow of the conversation meandered pretty far from the way I needed the scene to go, and eventually I cut this section entirely and replaced it with one that worked better. But I liked it enough to want to share it, even though it's short enough that I'm probably not going to post it on AO3. Shadowbringers spoilers.)
Once it had become clear that G’raha had fumbled and was continuing to fumble his summoning spell, he had told himself sternly that the Scions were not his friends. Not because he had any reason to dislike them—far from it!—but because he knew them far better than they knew him, and moreover he had stolen them from their rightful lives. No matter how useful their skills, no matter how generously they offer their help, the fact remains that he had done each and every one of them a painful disservice by bringing them to the First.
After their return from the ruins of Amaurot, though—after the second return of the night—G’raha is startled to realize that the Scions of the Seventh Dawn seem to regard him as… a friend?
“Of course we do,” says Thancred matter-of-factly, as the two of them examine one of the Crystarium’s shield generator nodes. Thancred may be no mage, but the generators are also partially mechanical, and with the Facet of Forging staff busy working on some project they refuse to tell G’raha about, he’s the next best choice for repairing fiddly machinery in the entire city. “Our inauspicious arrivals aside—” G’raha winces. “—you were doing what you needed to in order to defend the people under your care. We all understand that. Indeed, we all respect that.”
“I’m surprised to hear you dismiss your arrival so quickly,” says G’raha.
“Me, of all people?” asks Thancred with a shrewd sidelong glance, and G’raha’s ears go flat with embarrassment. “I won’t pretend it was an easy thing to get over. But, well, I like to think that all of us, I’m on the more pragmatic side of things. It was the right choice, and that’s what matters in the end. Wrench, please.”
G’raha hands over the wrench. “Knowing that someone is in the right and thinking fondly of them for it are two different things.”
“They are,” Thancred agrees, and smacks something in the generator’s guts with the head of the wrench. G’raha yelps in protest, but then the generator buzzes to life, and Thancred grins and tosses the wrench back. G’raha fumbles the catch and has to duck down to pick it up. “But the first can lead to the second. And luckily for you, it has. Though, if I may offer a word of advice?”
“Of course,” says G’raha, slotting the wrench back into its rightful place in the toolkit.
“Y’shtola in particular dislikes feeling like a piece on the chessboard rather than a player. If, in the future, you ever come up with a scheme that you think might involve her, ask her for assistance in the planning stage and not a moment later, even if you think she won’t be interested, or won’t be able to help. She may have forgiven you for this one, but she’s better at holding grudges than I am.” Said with a playful wink, it would be easy to dismiss as a joke. But G’raha can tell that it’s a real warning—and, also, a real invitation, to be a part of the group and its various social dynamics, rather than an outsider looking in.
“I shall,” says G’raha, with sincere gratitude.
#ffxiv#my fic#shb spoilers#listen i really liked how g'raha and y'shtola arrive together in dawntrail#i like that they went from y'shtola seriously distrusting him to - apparently - Research Buddies#i like to imagine that he put some sincere and deliberate effort into mending fences with her#and i think that Mr PhD In Spying would have both#1. a vested interest in the group having good social cohesion#and 2. well thought out and practical advice on how to not totally ruin things while you're trying to make amends#is he good at doing this himself in practice? lol no.#but i feel like he at least knows y'shtola (and urianger) well enough to be able to tell g'raha what pitfalls to avoid.
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i can’t be the only one who cares about spy speaking accurate french in fics. i can’t. i can’t.
#do some research#at least put some effort#google translator is not your best friend#especially if you're translating from english to any other language really
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Replika unit idea:
Unit Class: AMSR
Acronym: Abstrafung Managementstruktur Replika "Amsel"
Translation: Penalty Management Structure Replika "Blackbird"
Type: Generation 3 Low-Cost Law Enforcer Protektor Replika
Shell: Biomechanical Frame with Polyethylene Shell and Bullet-Resistant Armor Plating
Height: 200cm
Role: AMSRs are everyday law enforcer Protektor units, serving now under STARs as their commanders. They can be observed patrolling the streets and are equipped to swiftly and directly stop crime. They deal with day-to-day misdemeanours, able to achieve impressive speeds in close quarters, helpful when chasing suspects, and possess homing devices installed for command to always know where and in what state other AMSRs are so that they can get backup quickly and efficiently.
Known Issues: AMSRs are always on guard, it is not recommended to startle them - it can trigger their figh-or-flight response, and fight almost always wins out, often with use of excesive force.
All AMSRs should be assigned one Gestalt partner that is not recommended to be changed; AMSRs quickly grow attatched to their partners and it has been noted that partners separation due to death or injury causes their Personas to degrade at much quicker rate. Units deployed without partner perform signficantly worse and tend to Degrade at even faster rate than units that lost their partners.
It is also advised to apply monthly district rotation for patroling pairs, as AMSRs tend to grow territorial over time. Such behaviour later on can cause them to be uncooperative when outside of and unwilling to leave 'their' district and lead to quicker Persona Degradation rates when away even for short periods, such as daily debrief.
Identification: Aside from their above-human hight, AMSRs are easily identified by their red berets [imagine Elster's hat but with exact opposite color placement], so that all Gestalts and Replika units know where to find help. Outside of the uniform, they possess red strips around their eyes (see: STARs eye markings) of light-sensitive components. They function both as flashlight, with both standard and UV light, and also can help finding units in dark due their light-reflective surface, working like cat eye and seemingly "glowing" in dark.
#signalis#signalis replika#amsr#amsel#blackbird#all “quirks” are inspired by irl blackbird behaviour and physical qualities (the eye-markings are irl yellow but it wouldnt fit)#the fact that english acronym translates to pms is absolutely coincidental#but gosh isnt it funny#personally i imagine them like mix of MO/ZOMO force in communist ocupation poland an Gestapo in german ocupation#generally portrayed in propaganda as the good policemen only wanting to keep peace on streets#but for the common folk military force with hairtrigger temper you as child hear horror stories about#that can beat you up for hearing you even SUGGEST as a JOKE that what regime is doing MIGHT be not ok#the STAR units emblem gave me idea cause it looks eerly simillar to german empire eagle#and i know that the star units are said to be officer units that deal with riot control#but i felt that they needed some other units under them that deal directly with everyday crime#cause riots wont happen every day but minor misconducts surely will#Edit: i did NOT know somone have already made oc AMSR Amsel units until searching up tags#and honestly their idea is much more original than mine and i like it a lot#but i put so much effort into researching it im not willing to scrap it sooo#it is what it is i guess#fun fact: “Abstrafung” translates as “ 1.penalty; 2.punishment (often out of vengefulness)"#not really important but i wanted to share#my post
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About Pariah Dark...
The year is roughly 352 B.C.E.
One ordinary day, a mother was bathing her young son in the river. She turned her back for only a moment when a sudden cold current swept the child away. He spluttered and cried, but the force and speed of the river was too much for even a mother.
He bobbed over and under the water continously. The world blurred around him until it could only be distinguished by air he could breathe and water he must not swallow. There was nothing he could hold onto.
On and on it went until the water rushed out like a desperate breath out into an enormous expanse of blue. The poor child, after spinning through seemingly endless swirls of the deposit, finally distinguished land from water. His small arms, however, were not strong enough. The river had pushed him out too far, and the current was picking him up again.
He did not know for how long he was floating in that large expanse of blue, letting the current drive his small body. Every now and then he would catch glimpses of heavy, dark trees in the distance. Too far. Eventually, he grew too tired to open his eyes. His energies were only only enough to keep breath within him. His skin, even in the starlight speckled dark of the night, felt hot. Like he was being cooked from the inside, and then from the outside during the day under that suffocating sun.
A sleep deeper than he had ever felt in his short life was overtaking him when many probing, pulling hands wandered all over him. A jumble of voices crowded his hearing, snippets of words he should've been able to understand were simply too far away, too strange, for him to understand. He slept just as the water finally peeled away from his burning skin.
(A/N- this is lore for my DPxDC fanfic How I DIDN'T Become a Villain, but! it works just as well for Danny Phantom only stories. Full story under the cut.)
Young Bhavin was swept away by a river and deposited into the ocean, what is now known as the Bay of Bengal. The current took him from his home of Magadha in North India and all the way to Tamilakam, Chola in South India. He knew his name and the name of his home, but the people who found him did not recognize it as they had never traveled that far north.
So, he stayed, and was raised as part of the Paraiyar.
When he was older, the question of where he came from became a huge hollow inside him. One he feared would never change, for the jungle was dangerous and the waters were treacherous—he knew that his survival all those years ago had been a miracle gifted by the gods themselves.
There came a day, however, when Fate struck again. Bhavin had been out fishing for his village, but he had strayed too far from the coast and a distant storm drew in faster than he had anticipated. At the ocean’s mercy yet again, the currents dragged him further than he’s ever been. Further north than even his birth home, he was found along the coast by a wandering tribe of Celts, who had come from the west with their children to keep them safe from Alexander’s war path. In stilted and accented Sanskrit, the Celts told Bhavin they hoped to find haven beyond the mountains in the uppermost region of India. To Bhavin, it was a call from the gods. To survive the ocean’s raging tempest a second miraculous time and be given a path back to his true home? He must have a great purpose awaiting him.
He joined them on their journey. With the little Sanskrit the leaders knew, and what little Bhavin remembered from his youth, they were able to get along well enough. They told him stories, of their tribe and their culture and religion. It was with them he first learned of the mysterious figure, one they called the Observer who seemed to watch over them fervently as though a distant and ancient ancestor. Their tribe revered this figure very much and Bhavin was enraptured by its mystery immediately. They also told him stories of other lands, places with buildings so white they reflected the sun’s light like it was their own, and others with structures so tall they seemed to reach the gods. They spoke of the stories hailing from those otherworldly lands, too. But in each one Bhavin heard, he found the Observer there, hidden under a different name and a different time. It was as though he couldn’t escape it.
He asked all he could of the Observer. The more he learned, the less he knew, and the contrariness of it all shook him to his core.
Then, after a long and arduous journey, they made it past the mountains to India. Though greeted with generous hospitality at every village and kingdom they went to, they quickly learned that many of those kingdoms were at war with one another. Some defending themselves, others trying in bloody conquest. Bhavin marveled resentfully at what so many of these kings did with their power.
This was supposed to be his true home, yet it did not seem like the one he dreamed of as a child. He'd dreamed of happiness, of unity and commonality.
As Bhavin spiraled further into his obsession while confronting the bitter reality of his world, he found his solution. The Observer itself. This wasn’t a mere guardian; it was a being of great power. Only something like the Observer, the one thing connecting them all, could create harmony. A place where everything existed under one single power.
And after dedicating decades to this study, Bhavin finally found a way to summon the Observer.
The day came, and before him stood a mere child. A little boy with big, fearful eyes.
The sight flooded Bhavin with an overwhelming sense of power and indignation. He challenged this great, unfathomable being and won with little fanfare. He wrought the ‘crown’ from the child’s head—a simple, wooden circlet—but when he placed it atop himself, the power turned out too much for any living creature to bear. The crown drowned him flames, in a heat not dissimilar to the one that should’ve killed him in those ill-advised waters.
His obsession became him, now evermore twisted and suffocating.
Bhavin was dead.
So was born Pariah Dark.
...
Pariah Dark’s rule influences thousands of worlds with his greed of conquest and unquenchable thirst for power. Countless wars dawned at his will; countless lives lost in his shadow.
Imprisonment came too late. His mark resided in all corners, as sure as a carbon footprint. Now, even defeated, his will continues to live on.
Relentless and unending, until a new one takes its place.
#danny phantom#hidbv#pariah dark lore#b.c.e is 'before common era'#if i got some history/culture details wrong in the backstory pls pls PLS let me know#i read only parts from a few academic/history books + watched a video detailing India's history timeline but- again- i didn't do a full#deepdive- so i may have gotten some things wrong. if you catch it tell me in the notes and i'll correct it!!#the summary is a little vague but only because i don't want to put too much effort into a detailed backstory for Pariah#not because i don't want to (i'd love to) but because it would require a LOT more research into Indian history and culture#and i would want to deep-dive into Pariah's character and really showcase what led him to become Pariah down to the last detail#sadly it's not an effort i'm willing to make atm#if i give myself any more work for this fic im gonna start procrastinating it even more
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2, 7, 19 and 29 for the writer ask thingy?
2 (a character whose POV you’re currently exploring): Bellummmm i’ve jumped ahead slightly in a fic to do a scene from his pov (cant remember if it was originally in his pov or not) and i do enjoy trying to figure out his pov in general, this current one is in the ship oneshot so its both trying to write and figure out how he thinks/speaks plus the challenge of him being nonhuman and figuring out how to describe movement. otherwise i have an eldin ring and a smt iv fic both rotting in my wips somewhere that take a look at the povs of my tarnished and flynn where the neutral route splits off respectively.
7 (your preferred writing fonts): i dont really pay a lot of attention to fonts, i just start up a new word doc and the only thing i might tinker with is the line spacing- i usually end up in some sort of calibri or aptos or whatever the default font is.
19 (the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic): yeah im gonna be totally honest here and admit that i havent done a whole lot of research for most of my fics. i looked up how to block a knife yeaaaars ago and some light stuff about. um. yeah honestly i havent done a lot of research specifically for a fic, i generally look into stuff when it comes up and i deem it important enough to the fic, and since i put the most focus on the characters it generally doesn’t come up. more often than not, i tend to use past, unrelated research and my own existing knowledge, anyways, and play into that more. i do, however, do occasionally smatterings of research into injuries and illnesses and mental illnesses and all of that, partially out of general interest, but also because i like to keep it in mind for fic purposes. i have genuinely considered looking into taking an anatomy class primarily for fanwork purposes (but i do think the subject is genuinely interesting too)
29 (how easy is it for you to come up with titles?): coming up with titles is my achilles heel it SUCKS its a hell of my own creation i struggle with it so bad that’s why half of my loz aus have little placeholder names and why half of everything else is a song lyric or some quote. i only have a handful of original titles and any of the good ones likely took me ages to come up with. i tend to fall back on some flavor of pun.
#asks#salty talks#goopi-e#i think the font thing and the research thing make it clear that i am very like. loose with my fic writing#or whatever i get going when it strikes my fancy and generally play it by ear#also i tend to really struggle with research in general like ive had to do it a lot recently for my classes#in particular for some essays ofc (tho i put less effort into my actual Research Essay than some argumentative thing i did a while ago#and got a perfect score on but it probably helped that i cared a bit more abt that subject and there ws more. actual stuff to find)#anyways yeah illnesses and injuries and you can tell i used to be specifically into whump. love to fuck up my comfort character#completely seriously its one hell of a motivator to slide in some mandatory Get Linebeck Covered In His Own Blood event on my aus.#really gets me motivated. thats why ive been thinking abt my mecha au recently#aaaaand thats it im tired calibri is my default font bc its the default font but it does depend on what im writing on
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Really truly the problem with internet addiction is that I need it for all kinds of shit. I can't just quit it like I could smoking or drinking and not have alcohol or cigarettes in my house ever*, I need my phone. I need the internet. So I have my phone and need to actively fight not to grab it all the time.
Even worse when I do need to use it to look smth up, sure I can use extensions and stuff to block tumblr and twitter and youtube but sadly the internet (or even just my phone/laptop) is so full of distractions, I can't eliminate them all - like just now I wanted to look at a picture I'd taken of an info I needed but my pictures are also full of recordings of my cheerleading team so I got distracted looking at our past stunt successes and fuckups.
(*disclaimer since this is the piss on the poor site, I'm not saying internet addiction is worse or harder than alcohol or nicotine addiction, just pointing out this one difference. It might be more difficult in this one aspect, obviously there are a lot of aspects in which alcohol and nicotine are much worse (like them actually being physically addictive substances))
#internet addiction#smartphone addiction#they say accepting you're addicted is the first step to getting better but uh#They don't ever really tell you the second step for things you can't actually fully get rid of#maybe a work phone? work computer? So at least I'm not logged in to all the distracting sites?#And don't take pictures of anything not work/study related on that phone?#don't really have the money for an extra phone but y'know#And even then again. The internet is endlessly distracting. If nothing else I'd probably find some old forum about a topic idc about#instead of researching the thing i actually should research#I tried to make a separate profile on my laptop the other day and tried to like. Block a bunch of stuff on there#But windows is the worst and I couldn't figure it out#I think it's only possible with like? Windows family? So I'd need a whole second windows account? No thanks#Yes yes I should switch to Linux#I'll do Linux on my new pc that I've still not put together#but my laptop... I don't think it's worth the effort it's not gonna live much longer anyway
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hope you feel better soon!
I am riddled with ailments, but I stay silly!
#ask#non mdzs#My health journey has been: Hernia -> acid reflux -> Vocal pain due to aforementioned reflux -> chest infection.#I'm terrified to know what's about to hit me next. Please let it be something kind. PLEASE.#The consequence of living with linguists is that you'll wake up with a wacked up voice -#suddenly you're sitting you down in front of a program called something like Praat having your shimmer and jitter levels calibrated.#They gave me a GRBAS of 33012. I have a fun thing called a pitch break where a whole octave just does not exist.#My vocal pain was bad enough I ended up seeing a speech pathologist and that whole experience was super neat!#I learnt a lot about voice - to be honest I might make a little comic on it after some more research. Fascinating stuff.#For example; your mental perception of our voice modulates the muscles of the vocal folds and larynx.#meaning that when you do have changes (inflammation = more mass = lower frequency)#your brain automatically attempts to correct it to what it 'should sound like'. Leading to a lot more vocal strain and damage!#And it gets really interesting for trans voice care as well - because the mental perception of one's voice isn't based on an existing sampl#So a good chunk of trans voice training is also done with the idea of finding one's voice and retraining the brain to accept it. Neat!#Parkinsonial Voice also has this perception to musculature link! The perception is that they are talking at a loud/normal volume#but the actual voice is quite breathy and weak. So vocal training works on practicing putting more effort into the voice#and retraining the brain to accept the 'loud' voice as 'normal'.#Isn't the human body fascinating?#Anyhow; Now I have vocal exercises and strategies to reduce strain and promote healing.#Which is a lot better than my previous strategy of yelling AAAH in my car until my 'voice smoothed out'.#You can imagine the horror on the speech path's face. I am an informed creature now.#I'm my own little lab rat now. I love learning and researching. Welcome to my tag lab. Class is dismissed.#I'll be back later with a few more answered asks </3 despite everything I'm still going to work and I need the extra sleep.#Thank you for the well wishes! And if you read all of that info dump; thank you for that as well!
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bruh, i am apply for MSc in Criminology and Criminal Justice and have got some offers too. if you don't mind sharing, why did you hate taking criminology?
it just wasn't for me! it's an underdeveloped discipline in my country, so no one really knows what a "criminologist" is, and i don't care enough to prove myself. i'd rather do something else anyway
but if it's something you have a genuine interest in, then by all means, do pursue it! it's tough, but if you have motivation, you can absolutely excel in this field 💜
#ask#99liners#it depends on the person a lot#like how much you care and how much effort you want to put into it#it was grad school in particular for me that made me realise that huh i really do fucking hate this!#but i have issues#so i couldn't drop out#and i suffered just for the sake of getting through it#and not bc i actually wanted to do this#but if you are interested#and if you know how to manage your time#and the uni you're considering does actually offer a decent program#then this can be a whole different experience for you!!#i had some good moments & experiences too so it wasn't just pain all the time#but it was tough and i made it harder for myself with my own expectations for my results#and the fact that i hated it lmao#another thing to consider is that grad school for me was very research-oriented#meaning they wanted us to write papers & participate in a lot of research projects#instead of being more practical?#and obviously the theoretical concept leads you more towards studying for a phd later on#instead of finding a Normal Job like Everyone Else#so take that into consideration when you're applying for sure!! just think what you'd like to do with this degree#and if grad school would help you get to that point
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It continues to trip me up how much human brains are just weird organic computers
#thoughts#oni talks#oni vents#additionally wild that the easiest ways for me to explain brain stuff are generally in computer or video game terms despite the fact I’m#notoriously awful with computers (and to a lesser extent video games) although I won’t if my natural inclination would be different if I#didn’t have trauma related to computers/if maybe it’s the classic adhd interest based learning difference? unknown tbh#I still really wanna go to school to study people but academics is fucked as hell so making that work will be a personal hell for me#but also I have so many theories and data I can’t do anything super tangible with coz I’m not in an academic setting so even if i wanted to#talk about stuff and work on it no one would take me seriously w/o that academic background no matter how much effort I’d put in learning it#on my own for my entire life at this point it won’t matter if it’s not on some level acknowledged by an academic system I despise tbh#it’s one of those things that makes me miss my dad coz we used to commiserate together about these sorts of things tho he made it work far#better than I have been able to. i wish i could ask him science questions again.#anyway human brains are so fascinating but also I really wish I was better at explaining myself analysis of people I feel like I’m good#enough at this point to be like partway understood coz I’ve done so much practice on my own coz I tend to rehearse explanations ahead of tim#but its still often misunderstood or misconstrued & it’s understandable a lot of the time coz like most other people aren’t spending a ton#of their free time thinking about and researching how people work/analyzing those around them+themselves vs me whose been doing since like#I dont remember the exact time but I do remember being really young & making the conscious decision to study & analyze my family for example#so that I could be helpful & translate their words to each other better + ppl often don’t see things about themselves that others do#also forever thinking about the human brain/experience in relation to the sims & video game commands lmao#currently trying to explain save states in the human brain to ppl but no one knows wtf I’m talking about#& researching academic terms that are close to what I want doesn’t necessarily work if there’s no academic term for what I’m talking about#hence wanting to do the research myself coz sometimes it feels like there’s all this stuff that’s obvious to me but no one else?? from what#I’ve seen in recent studies they are only starting to scratch the surface of stuff I’ve already known sometimes? other stuff is older & it’s#VERY gratifying when it’s stuff I’ve known but not been listened to about & it actually gets the proper recognition#though getting ppl to actually listen/take what I say seriously is its own journey & I have to be careful myself bc I’m human so my own#understanding/data is constantly updating + I have storage issues so finding the data I have in my brain is its own struggle sometimes#every version of me is interested in people & I think that’s neat even if other people don’t understand that concept#sometimes I feel like an alien/robot whose sole task is just to study & support humanity & it’s very weird tbh
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Learned a scam today
My finances are safe but my time is wasted. I wanted to do something with this fuckass dog. Yote into the abyss with you
#she will be ritualistically burned at the next bonfire#scams#i was so exited. i just wanted to do a comission. i wasnt even fussed about the money#i put my pussy into this. whole week of effort. ugh. well ive had some practice in the process now#stupid ass dog#fuck you @waywardstrawberryprincess#ughh#bitch ass dog. not the dogs fault but fuckk#now i know i can draw dogs#ugh#life lessons learned#but it seems the account got deleted before they could do me any real fuckkng harm#goddamn#why is our modern environment so hostile to artists actually#dont let this kill your passion. dont let this kill your passion. dont let this kill your passion#omg#i hope i feel better once i wake up#fuck this dog#i wasted grandads good paper on this shit🤦♂️#ugh. im so sorry grandad#UGHHH. its fucking embarrassing actually#ffs#do your research guys#thats so embarrassing#im sad. and frustrated. dissapointed#i was so exited to do a commission... and learn. well. ive learned something
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"now i understand why forfy got mad at that one person for saying maximizer is about an ai" it was just a take that lacked so so much context i want to respect other opinions by all means im no authority on series songs im also just a fan & i have limits on my personal knowledge that affects how i interpret them. but it was just such a big disregard to the minor parts of the song & (of course i cant really fault anyone for this when magu has only ONCE directly said anything about aru sekai series being a series & it was bc of harassment & on their locked acc so out of respect i wont be sharing the details) disregards so much of the series as a whole. it was just a little bit frustrating to see it reduced to topics that were explained mostly via reading wiki pages anyway.
#like i get using wiki. i have also had to use wikis for series context i didnt know.#i sat thru a literal ted talk once bc it had info that was relevant to a part of aru sekai shoushitsu#by all means do your research & site ur sources#but siting ur sources & reading directly off the page are two different things#not everyone can do this & i get that but like ideally IDEALLY#if ur explaining something to an audience u should be able to some extent reword it by yourself#because if someone doesnt understand it & has questions u should really be able to break it down further and/or explain differently#which is a difficult skill to do well but again if ur aim is to explain something to an audience u should work on that#uhhhh but yeah something something minor details in series songs#im used to looking for them at this point and even /i/ miss them#zin pointed out something to me the other week about OUMEN of all songs#we all know im INSANE about that song EASILY the one i think about most.#and yet it pointed out something i totally passed off as being 'just how songs work' when its definitely a detail#theres A LOT to miss even if u know what ur looking for.#but to just give a surface level reading of it & call it an explanation is SUCH a disservice to the effort put in#also hi ur tags made me really happy i screenshotted them for later#all my opinions on touhikou that are up here are probably SUPER out dated i should go back to that song too#theres. a lot. theres so much in touhikou. if u think yamete had a lot touhikou has like double that#[dons a shirt that reads im normal about vocaloid songs series]
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This one goes out to all the bitches who love some good Safehouse Era Horror. It's me, I'm bitches. I want Jon and Martin to be fucked up and eldritch but I want them to be fucked up and eldritch and loved
(Notes under the cut because I can't help myself. Heads up, I do go into some detail of how Jon gets injured so I can explain my thought process for how I designed his scars. All canon-typical and fairly clinical in tone.)
Here's how I picture Safehouse Jon!
He doesn't need glasses anymore by this point, so he should just be wearing empty frames, but I drew this before I settled on my glasses headcanons. This drawing looks better with the reflection anyways.
He hasn't gotten a haircut since before his promotion to Head Archivist. He doesn't love the weight of it on his neck, but he also uses it to fidget, and he really doesn't want to go through the whole process of cutting it. He's disliked haircuts since he was a kid (People: Bad. Small talk: Bad. Touching: Bad. Loud sounds: Bad. People talking all at once: Bad) and since his time with the Circus he's only grown more reluctant to go and get it done.
At this length his hair is naturally pretty curly but he is. Not taking care of it. I actually put a lot of effort into trying to make it look brittle and tangled (I have a lot of experience lol, my hair is quite thick and I've always hated taking care of it. Yes I am also projecting my feelings about going to a hairdressers onto him why do you ask.)
The various scars were a bit of a strange task, but anyone who has seen my takes on The Bad Kids knows I'm not averse to selective realism in my fiction. Easiest one was the neck, I always pictured Daisy making a vertical cut based on "through the voice box". The larynx is longer than it is wide, so I think Daisy would go for the method that dealt damage across the largest total surface area. Yes I am aware that I'm speaking the same way Martin does when he explains his corkscrew.
The worm scars were easy because I barely drew any. There are a few marks on his cheek, but they're just surface bites. I picture most of his encounter with Prentiss showing on his legs, particularly on the right side, with enough damage there that he starts using a cane after the incident to keep weight off his right leg. More research to be done on this particular detail.
Finally the burn on his hand from Jude. This was the weirdest one to figure out just because of the nature of the injury. How do you quantify the damage done to an epidermis by a living manifestation of sometimes-boiling wax that can heat and cool at will? I settled on it being a second-degree burn that healed supernaturally fast, containing the damage to the space Jude had direct contact with. He'd probably have some mobility issues there as well. I know there are ways to help with mobility and pain after a severe burn, but I don't know how much of it Jon would actually. Do. Like I said, definitely further research to be done on these last two.
Hey so I'm gonna ask you to stop and consider the horror of the watcher. The helplessness. The guilt. The inherent terror of being a spectator, a participant by proximity but not by action. The horror of not being able to look away, of being a bystander. Jon forgets to blink sometimes. But wouldn't it be so much worse if there were no eyelids at all? That's how I interpret the description of The Archivist being "All Eyes" :D
I love a good Many-Eyed Jon, so I whipped up my own interpretation here. I think the more he Becomes the more he starts to resemble the thing from the dreams. He has a lot more control of it in S5, but it still creeps up on him and he has to consciously go back to a human shape.
#coffeepaintart#jonathan sims#jon sims#tma#the magnus archives#scopophobia#scopophobia tw#tw scopophobia#the archivist#tma fanart#tma art#if i need to tag any other tws or cws lmk
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