#does he understand i'd die for him but more importantly i'd live for him?

[butters-flower-mom]

I love Butters so much I'm gonna cry and throw up and explode.

[bloodycyrano]

I am extremely mentally fucked right now, so let's see how team tadpole handles their depressive episodes! TW, this will probably be super depressing to read.

Astarion: He thinks he hides it really well, and for the most part, he does. But his motivation for easy, everyday tasks and self care goes absolutely down the drain. You've seen the inside of his tent, you know how it goes. He tries to keep up the image of doing well, keep the smile, keep the jokes coming. He's terrified of people finding out what's underneath, and in hiding it, he feels like he has the upper hand. He doesn't, and he needs therapy. I'd also put money on him hypersexualizing himself for the validation and to feel like he was worth something. After all, Cazador beat it into him that that was all he was good for. Luring in pray with his body. - We also know that Astarion has nightmares, but I'd like to add to this with the reminder that Elves don't sleep. They trance. In the trance, they go over the memories of their past. It's how they keep up with such long lives and how they stay close to past lives as children (For those who dont know, elves don't measure age in maturity, but rather by distance to their past lives- Once an elf can no longer recall memories from their past life, they are considered an adult. They pick their adult name in celebration of the new person and consciousness that they now are). The fact that Astarion can remember nothing of his life prior to being turned by Cazador, nothing of his family, etc., Means that he is so deeply affected by Cazador that those memories are the only things he can see when he goes to rest at night. Every night, in perfect detail, he has to remember all of his worst trauma.

Karlach: Karlach is the sunshine character. She's sweet, and loud and bright with the biggest smile, but you also have to remember that she was a soldier. She was sold off to a literal demon and used as a science experiment essentially for the hell of it. She's not going to open up about what she's feeling immediately, and she's not going to seek help, either. She thinks she has to deal with it quietly and on her own, because since her parents died; that's what she's always had to do. Chin up, no tears, keep fighting. It's going to stress her out to the point where she starts smoking again, but she'll try to hide it or brush it off. Most importantly, she's going to be more focussed on not burdening those around her and trying to take care of you guys and protect you at the expense of her own mental health and physical safety. But her sorrows are noticeable. She can try to hide it, but everyone in camp knows. Everyone in camp is worried. Everyone can see when her eyes stop glimmering, when she stops dancing around in her tent when she can't sleep, when her bright laughter stops, and when she gets quiet. So quiet. She zones out, like she's in another realm entirely. She probably also has post traumatic stress from her time as a soldier, and it's going to weigh on her heavily in battle. Maybe she'll freeze up, have flashbacks, even potentially have small hallucinations now and again. It's going to take a lot of care and reassurance to get her to talk to you about it, but when she finally does, she'll probably have a complete meltdown with all the feelings she's been keeping inside.

Wyll: Wyll self isolates. He gets much quieter, and he probably isn't going to be too open to talking about it unless he's really close to you. He gets a little cold when talking to people, but he's good at resolving things in his head and the most likely to rationalize his feelings to make himself feel better. He also probably writes poetry, or even paints his feelings as a form of expressing his sorrows because he understands he needs some outlet so he isn't bottling everything up. He has the heart of an artist, and this is a hill I am prepared to die on.

Gale: He has a hard time talking when he's sad, and probably has difficulty making eye contact as well. He'd probably be more inclined to seek out comfort and vent than the rest of team tadpole, but that doesn't take away from the complexity of his emotions. He's angry, and sad, and feels so so shitty just about being who he is in general. He's fallen so far from where he once was, and for what? He'll do is best to rationalize, but his anxiety is going to push into paranoia, and rationalizing is going to turn into self loathing. He's going to try his best to be more useful, and show off, and earn the validation he craves because without that, what is he? He was a prodigy child. He used to be so, so great. Even the goddess of magic herself thought so. Now he's rotting away in a camp full of strangers and trying to re-learn level one spells. It's taking a toll on him, and it's noticeable to anyone willing to look.

Shadowheart: She's trying to pray. The goddess she has been devoted to all her life is the lady of loss. There is a great amount of sorrow in the way she worships, and in her suffering, she finds faith. She tells herself it's her next step to becoming a dark justiciar. Delving further into her faith and trusting in the dark depths of her soul, and her pain. All it ever truly does is make her hurt, though.

Lae'zel: Lae’zel is truly a specimen built on stoicism. If you ask her what's wrong, she will tell you but it will also be in such a way that you wonder if she's really processing all of her pain. The thing is, she's thinking about it. She has the emotional intelligence to understand the way she's feeling and how to fix it, but for some reason unknown to her, she can't. And that's what's going to stress her out and hurt her the most. She knows what theoretically should fix the pain, but it's not working the way that it should. She's going to wonder if it's something wrong with her, or the way she's going about it. She might get angry with other people more often, and try to project blame onto someone so that maybe she can find a way to resolve the way that it hurts. But she can't. She'll keep throwing temporary solutions and misplaced anger into the void until she finds something to distract from it. And maybe, after a lot of contemplation and positive outside help from the rest of team tadpole, she may find peace.

[crossdressingdeath]

I really hope that TSatS features Nico and Will having so many issues around being complicit in Octavian's death, and Nico in addition having so many issues around killing Bryce. On Octavian's end these are children complicit in a gruesome death; necessary or no, that sort of thing's going to stick with them! Especially since as far as we see they never tell anyone about it (Nico might have told Dionysus during their therapy sessions, but as far as I can remember that's not confirmed), which means the only people they can discuss the whole thing with is each other. ...Or I guess Michael Kahale—assuming he's still alive post-ToA, since that's not actually confirmed—but I feel like the understanding between him and them is probably that they Do Not Acknowledge It, assuming they ever see each other at all. Anyway. I'm sure being able to share the weight of what they were part of between the two of them would help, but... well, sharing the burden of being a teenager traumatized by your part in a brutal death with another teenager traumatized by their part in said brutal death is only going to do so much. And I feel like more specifically the fact that Will is a healer would make the whole situation so much worse for him; knowingly standing by and letting someone die knowing he could easily save them would be hard for any hero, but for someone who's dedicated to healing people? Yeesh.

And of course on top of that... Bryce's death is a really cool and dramatic scene that goes way harder than I'd expect a children's book to go, but it's also absolutely horrific. Partially because Nico turns him into a ghost with zero sign of hesitation and that is so much, but I feel like for Nico partially because he doesn't remember it. Like, the fact that he has no memory of killing Bryce gets glossed over in BoO, but he turned a guy into a ghost with no hesitation or mercy and he doesn't remember. He was really angry at Bryce for threatening Reyna, and the next thing he knew the guy was dead (and he'd been knocked out for three days). He has no idea how he did it or even what he was thinking at the time! He was either out of control of his own actions or he wanted to kill Bryce, and he has no way of finding out which. That would be a terrifying thought: either he's a willing murderer (while him killing Bryce was to save Reyna and Hedge and I fully agree with it, it was absolutely murder in a way Octavian's death isn't, Bryce was completely powerless and begging for mercy by the end there) or his powers can hijack his body and push him into doing things that he would never do of his own free will, and he'll probably never know which. Which does beg the question of if anything could set him off like that again, which I feel like is something that would weigh on Nico. I'd love to see him admit that he's actually really scared that something will push him over the edge again and either he'll lose control of his powers and kill someone else or (possibly worse) discover that he was in control when he killed Bryce and did it because he wanted to. Now, I don't think Nico could turn someone into a ghost just like that, my theory is that it was only possible in Bryce's case because Bryce was threatening someone he loved using a closely held secret (which Nico understandably took rather personally) and, more importantly, he was halfway faded out of the living world already; I doubt he could've done it if he hadn't been mostly full of darkness already or if he hadn't been overwhelmed with protective fury at the threat to his dear friend. But whether or not Nico knows that is unclear; I can see him being terrified at the very thought that it's possible that he could snap and kill someone again.

Basically given how TSatS seems like it's going to be largely about All The Trauma, it would feel like a huge failure on Rick's part to not go into how being responsible for Octavian's death absolutely would've fucked Will and Nico up, and also how directly killing Bryce absolutely would've fucked Nico up. If I'm remembering right, setting aside Luke's death—Percy and Annabeth supplied the weapon he stabbed himself with, but I wouldn't call them complicit in it the way Will, Nico and Michael are complicit in Octavian's death since it was entirely Luke's decision in the end—Will and Nico (and Michael Kahale but he's not important currently assuming he's even still alive) are the only protagonists knowingly and willingly complicit in another demigod's death, and Nico is the only protagonist to actively kill another demigod! I can accept them not talking about it in ToA, since "Hey, we're super fucked up from the deaths we caused/played a part in and we don't know what to do about that because we're kind of sort of murderers before the age of eighteen and that's really not the sort of thing you just tell people" isn't something to drop on Will's suddenly-sixteen-and-mortal godly father without warning during a serious crisis situation and I can't see anyone they might have told about it off-page spilling the beans without permission either and when it happened Apollo was already in deep shit and so probably not paying a lot of attention to what his kid was doing, so our POV character wouldn't know about it and wouldn't find out (I know he's aware that Octavian's dead, but unless I'm forgetting something—which is. entirely possible, I should reread ToA—he doesn't know the part Will and Nico played in it). But if it doesn't come up at all in the book told entirely from their perspectives, I'm... honestly gonna be pretty pissed!

[suguruuuu]

Thoughts on Gojo's fate at the end of JJK

Originally I thought that Gojo would definitely either a) die or b) rendered unable to fight (by somehow losing his CT, maybe through a binding vow or through grievous injury).

For ending a) that's mainly me wishing for a satosugu tragic ending where they both die to defend their values. However I do agree that I'd prefer an ending where Gojo gets final closure and can bury Geto. The ending wouldn't be satisfying if he doesn't get at least that.

As for ending b) it's me wanting for Gojo to have a full arc, especially as a central part of the story/world. Gojo as a character has for so long been defined by his power and what he provides for other sorcerers. Thr nature of his birth with two techniques made it unavoidable. He's constantly overworked as the only active special grade sorcerer (until Yuta's appearance, but keep in mind Yuta has only been active for 1 year). Though the strongest, he's somewhat stripped of his personhood and used as a tool for the jujutsu world and as a political pawn for the Gojo clan. His power and skill supercedes who he is as a person to his detriment.

Gojo's goal to raise the next generation of sorcerers to surpass him and lead a new jujutsu world is established very early on. During the culling games we see the students push themselves beyond their limit and undergo immense growth even in his absence. I think shows thematically that Gojo's ability isn't necessarily essential for the next generation to progress. Another key point of Gojo's worldview is that he wants all of his students to reach new heights so no one is left behind like Geto was. This possible ending also ties nicely into the most significant line Geto says to Gojo in his defection:

"Are you the strongest because you're Satoru Gojo? Or are you Satoru Gojo because you're the strongest?"

Does Gojo's power define who he is? Can Gojo and his power be distinguished from each other in the first place? Gege and Gojo's VA have said that Geto was the only other person that could truly understand him and in this moment it could not be truer. Geto sees right through Gojo despite the latter having the Six Eyes. Geto's returns in JJK 0 and Shibuya mark him as Gojo's major weakness, but more importantly as one of the few problems Gojo cannot overcome with his power alone. As he said himself, love is the most twisted curse of them all. Gojo overcoming Sukuna with just power seems antithetical to the themes JJK wants to convey. A Gojo that keeps his power in the end still carries the world's burdens and stands alone above other sorcerers.

An ending where he loses his cursed technique allows for Gojo, who's for so long only known as The Strongest, to live as just Satoru again.

[litapeanut]

The retelling of Medusa's story isn't getting better

A review of Percy Jackson and the Olympians season one

I've not read the source material, but from what I watched, the series is a generic mainstream fantasy show, with Percy being the blandest protagonist ever, despite everyone else around him stating he is special, he literally does and says nothing that resonates this specialness.

Particularly, the thing I found irksome is the third episode where Percy goes on to kill Medusa. Sure, the show made a point that she is no mere monster and included her origin story, but, she is still seen as a quest to be accomplished, and she gets beheaded anyway ( just censoring that with the invisible cap doesn't make it less brutal, I also saw people applauding the invisible cap treatment, as if women being brutalised is okay as long as they are brutalised in a more humane way😂), and furthermore, her head is shipped to Olympus like a common parcel. None of the micro progressive changes matter, because she still ends up the way she is in the original story. I'm not against female characters dying, but female characters dying in a tropey and pointless way.

Let's look at the original Greek mythology, it is a story so well-known that non-classics-professionals are familiar with. The essence of the story boils down to: 1) Medusa is a victim of feudal misogyny and victim blaming; 2) she is being objectified as a quest to conquer and a weapon to use even after her death. The original story is ugly. If you want to keep the story as it is, you have to keep the ugliness too, no wishy-washy sanitisation is going to make it "better". One good way to handle this is to acknowledge the ugliness and offer modern critique, especially in a fantasy show set in contemporary times. The series' way of handling is dodgy, since it is literally a retelling that preserves the core element of the original story invented thousands of years ago, without any updated criticism. (Well, if I want the original version of the story, I'd read a non-fiction book about this matter, not watch a modern fantasy story.)

Perhaps my disappointment came from my expectation that I hoped Medusa could somehow become an ally without having to die, since it's the 2020's now, we probably moved on from the binary hero-vs-monster trope. I still remember that episode from the 90's Hercules cartoon series I watched as a kid (also produced by Disney) in which Hercules came to understand that not all monsters are malefic, and he makes friends with Medusa in the end; more importantly, Medusa lives. This is yet another good way to reimagine the old myth by taking a wild leap. It's sort of sad that a silly cartoon show made more than twenty years ago has a more nuanced understanding than our current production.

How we view non-human beings in the fantasy world, more or less, reflects our attitude on other people who are different from ourselves in real life.

[chaosthatsmellsgreen]

so here's the thing.

Swan Song is the perfect ending.

it's not a happy ending, it's not necessarily the ending i'd want for either Sam or Dean, but that's not what a good ending to a story is. not all stories have a happy ending. and Supernatural? it's a tragic story. it's a story of perservering in the face of insurmountable evil. it's a story about holding on for dear life, as long as you can. it's a story about making the right choice, even if it seems impossible - even it if doesn't make you happy.

i wouldn't want Sam to be locked up with Lucifer for the rest of eternity. i wouldn't want Dean to fail the one goal he'd had in life, to protect his little brother. but by looking at the narrative of the whole five seasons, it's the ending that makes sense, and while bittersweet, it completes both of their stories perfectly.

Sam had been infected by evil before he was even born. he'd made unforgivable mistakes, he'd been struggling to stay on the path of good his whole life. in the end, the one thing he had to do was to be able to do the right thing. as heart-breaking as that is, the right thing, for Sam, is to sacrifice himself to save the world. the tragedy of it, that all he wanted was an out of this life he'd grown up in, to be normal, to be safe. to get away from the monsters and the darkness inside him. throughout the five seasons, he'd been struggling to make the right choices, he's been trying to deny who and what he is. in season four, he makes the ultimate mistake - and season five, from start to finish is his redemption arc. he knows what he's done, and he genuinely doesn't try to excuse it. even in the last second, he considers himself less than the people he looks up to, less than Dean and Bobby, but he knows what the next right thing is. the only thing left to do. and in the end, he doesn't get to enjoy the normal life he'd wanted in the world he saved, because that's just not his story. what he does get to do is to do right by the world - and more importantly, right by his brother.

Dean on the other hand, had always been fast to sacrifice himself. he was happy with his life as a hunter - keep in mind, even though he starts questioning that through the seasons (same as Sam is questioning whether he could ever be normal), that's where Dean comes from, originally. he's a hunter, it's his job to save people, it's his job to take care of his family, his little brother. that's what he is, that's all he is. and you can see how much of a toll it takes on him. he gives up his life so that Sam can live, but he resents the universe for it. he resents Sam for making the wrong choices, but it's because he feels like it's his responsibility to fix them - but Sam has grown up. he has his own mind and Dean needs to understand, as he does in the very end, that he needs to let Sam be who he is. that this obsession with cleaning up his messes is ruining him, it's pushing him to do things he never would've done for anyone else. and in my opinion, he does the right thing, too. he lets Sam make his own call. he's there, he goes with him to see Lucifer, he goes to where the battle is going to go down, even if there is nothing he can do, just so he's there for Sam ("Well then I ain't gonna let him die alone."). he's not there to change anything. he's there to support his brother. and the thing is, Dean never even dared to want the apple pie life. he was a good little soldier for his dad, he looked after his little brother, he saved people and killed monsters - between all that, anything he might've wanted for himself was just... buried by all the noise.

but Sam knows what it's like to want that. and he wants it for Dean. Dean never let Sam do anything for him, because it wasn't Sam's job to look after Dean. and Sam, whose last act was going to be self-sacrifice, who knew he wasn't going to make it out, he made the last thing he'd ever do be, for once, to look after his big brother. to prevent him from going down a path that would lead to loneliness and madness and the end of the world, again

and after five seasons, after giving up on Sam, on family, on life, on happiness, on the world, Dean finally gives in and lets him. he chooses to honor Sam's wishes, and do the one thing his brother always wanted, the one thing he could never have, the one thing Dean has always been too selfless to even want for himself; he goes and lives a normal life.

i know the series goes on. despite not watching to the end, i know Dean ends up dying and Sam ends up living to an old age. i know they go back to not trusting each other, to recycling their five season long character arcs over and over until narrative cohesion is gone completely. i know there are traces of the Sam and Dean of what i consider to be peak Supernatural in the later series (S8 Sam is very on theme for his character, which is why it's my favourite season from late-Supernatural). but the thing is, Swan Song is the perfect ending. it ends a complete arc, it closes a cohesive story with complex characters, a strong thematic core about love and family and free will, and an - albeit tragic - ending.

there are a lot of posts and conversation around how rare it is to have shows and movie series with a planned story, a story that ends not when it is no longer profitable but when it's supposed to. and Supernatural was clearly supposed to end here. this is my example every time i have a conversation about shows that you shouldn't watch every season of. and like i said, there is a lot of good stuff after this. there is a lot to explore in the world of Supernatural. i personally enjoyed a lot of later episodes, loved season eight and absolutely. fucking. ADORED Fan Fiction (10x05). but i look at all of that as spin off. an alternative way for things to go after the real ending. i often have a loose relationship with canon, and such is the case here. i have my own headcanon about how i'd like to imagine things go after season 5, but that's irrelevant.

Swan Song is a wonderful episode. it rounds out the story, brings it to a bittersweet but complete point. our heroes have made their choices, and Chuck's ending narration says it all.

"So, what's it all add up to? It's hard to say. But me, I'd say this was a test... for Sam and Dean. And I think they did all right. Up against good, evil, angels, devils, destiny, and God himself, they made their own choice. They chose family. And, well... isn't that kinda the whole point?"

THE END

[grazhir]

HL - Sebastian (again)

Some thoughts.

The main quests make us complicit in his actions, whether we learn the unforgivables or not. To an extent I can live with this due to the fact that PC is fresh off the train deadly carriage ride from London and may not have had many friends due to the late-blooming deal. I dunno. (Or at least, not magical friends, because she recognizes literally no student at Hogwarts.)

Sebastian is just a bit cocky, but generally personable at the beginning. No big deal. He's fifteen (maybe sixteen, depending on what month he was born in), and I expect that kind of shit from a teen. The "you got lucky" vibe or the "I could have done that (better than you)" thing he has going.

So we're complicit, because we literally have no choice, even if we side with Ominis every time (I do) and call Sebastian out on his shit (like the cruelty he shows the PC at times).

I can even understand—again, knowing that these people are teenagers—why the PC isn't shouting certain things down (such as Isadora can remove pain, so you can too, why the fuck aren't you helping Anne, when Sebastian is misunderstanding the situation) and the PC unhappily and gravely nodding at the end of the scene.

Spoiler alert: I'm muttering obscenities at the screen at the sheer idiocy involved in all this. And the lack of logic (I know, I know, we're dealing with wixen, who do not historically have even a nodding acquaintance with logic and such), or logical arguments.

In the end (first run) I chose not to turn him in. I as the PC am fucking complicit, forced to be, and I am as the PC a charming, polite, and probably too kind, mass-murdering psycho (what with the hundreds, possibly thousands of humans, goblins, and beasts I've slaughtered over the course of the game). I can't exactly judge without calling the Hypocrisy Police down on me.

[But let's be real. Punting wixen off a cliff is the equivalent of Skyrim's Fus Ro Dah, and hilarious every damn time.]

Solomon was abusive, should never have been guardian to children, clearly needed a therapist, and tried to kill me with no proof I'd ever done anything wrong (aside, apparently, from killing those goblins who were trying to raze Feldcroft to the ground, when really I should have offered tea and nibbles and talked things through while being decapitated or my intestines ripped out).

[Seriously, Solomon's comments during that scene were so out of touch with reality it was awful.]

So the man was an utter dick in the end and I'm not sorry he's dead. It's just the way it was done, and the clear evidence throughout Sebastian's storyline that he was losing his mind over this Dark Arts stuff and his obsession with curing Anne that using unforgivables was somehow "instinct" and not "habit".

Is any of it believable? Yeah, mostly, again taking age into account.

Except for the part where none of these hard-core Dark wixen are using unforgivables. I guess because they want us to suffer as we die? Except, that is why Crucio exists? Huh, I'm suddenly confused.

[Except, you know, like Rookwood (and maybe Harlow? I can't remember), who does, but only for the dramatic "we read about/saw this at the conclusion of the TWT between Harry and Voldemort, so let's do it again and assume every player will assume we all have matching, twin/triplet cores"?]

What truly baffles me is this:

Why the hell does everyone have such a hard-on for Sebastian? We have no proof that he'll reform, that he'll stop this obsession, if we fail to turn him in. He knows Ominis' thoughts on the Dark Arts and more importantly why, and Sebastian keeps convincing him (or getting the PC to do so) to let it slide, what he's doing.

For all we know he'll immediately fuck off after OWLs to hunt both for a cure and what deep shadow Anne went off to hide in, not having learned a damn thing, because he'd rationalize what he's done up until now.

He's like the MCU version of Steve Rogers. And I loathe Rogers. I don't loathe Sebastian, but he's in the same zip code.

Will he listen for once?

Too little information from Sebastian, not enough proof.

Kudos to Anne for having enough of this shit and destroying the book (now that the artifact is already destroyed). And I can take that as both "I'm done with this" and "this is the polar opposite of sanity" as well as "revenge for murdering our really not so great uncle" and "without this maybe you'll come to your senses, along with me leaving".

No, in the end, I care way more about Ominis and Anne than I do Sebastian, and I somewhat resent that both the PC and Ominis (and even Anne) are dragged down this particular dark path, treated poorly, and forced to be complicit.

That said? The whole game is a theme of pain, obsession, failure to listen, mental issues, and lies. With whimsy. Often very amusing whimsy.

I also wonder exactly where Sebastian will be staying during the holidays, because I shudder to think he'd be at the Gaunt home with Ominis. And Ominis now has no decent-ish place to stay (as in, not with his actual family), and Anne? Cursed, random bouts of agonizing pain, and I don't even know where she would go and how she'd survive.

I'm not saying the whole questline is bad, because it's certainly cause for plenty of discussion, and it was interesting. (I don't necessarily place it on a higher level than Natsai and Poppy, though.) It definitely invoked feelings in me (empathy, frustration, anger, resentment, and hurt, so mostly negative), which means someone did something right in crafting it.

That said, part two? I hope the PC becomes besties with Ominis and helps him in a more sane way, even if it's only a shoulder to cry on at what whackjobs his family members are.

[angelofthepage]

From the 50 random character asks, maybe number 1 for Joey?

Canon I outright reject for Joey? Oh this is a tough one!

I think I'm a bit particular about what I consider "canon" in the first place, and that's gonna be important to understanding my answer here. Like, for example, if we're talking about The Illusion of Living, I will not say the canon is that Henry, Joey, and Abby sat on the floor to make Bendy. I will instead say that Joey claims they all sat on the floor to make Bendy in his apartment. Because that's more accurate, we don't know how truthful he's being. He is a fictional human being, he's allowed to have a skewed perspective and lie, not everything he says is the truth. (For the record, I don't think he's lying about this particular event, I do hope that it actually went down this way because it's a great scene, I'm just acknowledging that sources matter.)

So with that in mind, "canon I outright reject" for Joey is tricky. But I have an answer! I don't believe in what Memory Joey claims Allison's role is in all of this. During the big reveal of Audrey's origins, he tells us that Allison came into his life, saw good in him, and that was the catalyst for why Allison Angel exists and why he wanted to start a family, and I just, don't buy it. Part of it is that if she saw good in you, and that was a big deal for you, why did you continue to do unethical ink experiments doing who knows what to your failed children until you got Audrey? Like, my dude, that does not add up and you are not helping your case. I have a lot of questions about Allison Connor and the way she's written across the games and books. I feel like she's the right character to inspire this change out of our current cast given there's at least something of a positive relationship there (albeit a confusing one), but she could've used some more development to make it more effective. I'm already suspicious of Allison knowing more about the ink machine than she's let on, and I feel like her just "seeing good in him" isn't enough, I feel like she may have had a more direct approach in telling him that this had gone on long enough, it's time to end the cycle, either from a place of kindness or a place of knowing the dangers of the ink from Tom, her husband, who made the machine and would be concerned about things getting out of hand. Maybe Allison could have helped him try to do something with it.

The way I've chosen to adapt Dark Revival's plot point about Allison Angel and Audrey's birth is that it didn't start as an effort to build a family. I'd prefer to handle it as a band-aid with side effects. Joey has created an entire realm to torture a fictional version of his former business partner, but there's also a number of real people that are likely in there. Sammy and Norman we've seen either succumb to the ink or straight up die within the canon, Twisted Alice we're pretty sure used to be Susie Campbell, and we know that other book characters have become lost ones too, people who existed in the real world and got turned to ink, most likely ending up in the cycle. So Joey has the unique problem of dealing with real AND fictional people, and how the heck is he supposed to make life more bearable for all of them? It's a question a lot of us are asking if Audrey has an answer to for a potential follow-up game. I wouldn't even know where to start in his shoes. Change the cycle to be more habitable? That would make sense. But because there are real people, is there a way to repair their minds, and equally importantly, their bodies to be more human and comfortable, maybe, return them to the real world? That's what I think Audrey started as, a solution. She was the result of testing if you could make ink appear human enough that it could inhabit the real world, and the next step after her was to see if it could be applied to the residents of the cycle. The thing Joey didn't foresee was getting attached, and that is why she's his daughter. It's very found family, accidental, but incredibly powerful. I feel like Allison Angel is a similar deal, created to make things better temporarily while Joey works on another solution. But none of those solutions pan out before his death, and now that responsibility falls on Audrey as the new keeper of the cycle.

I wanted a little bit more from Joey in trying to be a better person, since that seems to be the direction he's going in. He's not a good person, he's not getting redeemed, but the idea that he can do something good and make a change before he died, even if it's not done as well as it could be, that's a really powerful sentiment. A small note about that, a little extra detail, would have been nice. So yeah, Joey's intentions for making a family is the thing I don't buy in canon. Thank you for the question, this was fun!

[pistolslinger]

Put us in your muses house! is there a specific squeaky floorboard? what does the house usually smell like? is it messy/clean? if they have more than one bathroom, which one do they use the most? list what the vibe is usually like there or any headcanons about their home! [[ bonus: this could apply to pre canon / childhood home, during canon, or post canon! :D whichever one really stands out or speaks to you! ]]

CHARACTER QUESTIONS.

the fahey's farmhouse:

i'm diverging from canon a bit because i don't like that leigh described their house as a cabin/hut. like. colm bought aditi a whole farm, acres of land. there was room and money enough to build her a proper home there, too 🙄 it's a bungalow, built to zemeni specifications and architectural style (open, airy, sturdy, designed to cope with southern zemeni climates). it always smels like jurda, wood fire, and leather polish — it is clean, cosy, always full of light. the rooms weren't enormous, but since colm and aditi had always planned on having lots of kids, there is at least four bedrooms :( jesper's favourite place in the entire farmhouse was the kitchen/living room area, as it was the place he spent the most time with his mother.

the slat, and jesper's room there:

its a dinky room because the slat itself is dinky as hell. kaz pays to keep it heated, and to have clean water run through the pipes (bless him), but that doesn't change the fact the walls are paper thin and the way everyone has to fight for a bed. the dregs learn very quickly that they're not gonna be able to win jesper's space by force, which is why his room at the slat is very near a bathroom, and has windows :) nobody gets in without knocking, because. again. WHO is going to square up to fahey or his pistols (nobody! they all know better). there's room enough for a small bed, his trunk of clothes, a locked chest of his personal items, and random tinier furniture (wash basin, mirror, clothes rack etc). its kept clean because messy spaces always end up throwing jesper into sensory hell one way or another, and more importantly: it always smells nice. 'cause jesper douses everything in nice scents to cover the barrel stink, or he'll die

the van eck mansion:

what else can i say abt the mansion except that its smth out of a fairytale. i'm imagining a dutch baroque design, or smth in that vein — kerch culture values austerity, and dutch baroque (smth most of the civic buildings were built to be in that period) fits p well imo! in the books, it's right on the canal, and the van ecks have a boat house for easy travel, so i imagine it has a gorgeous view of the geldestraat. very selfishly, i like to think the master bedroom (the one jesper shares with wylan) overlooks the canal and the beautiful city view. it's probably polished to utter perfection at all times, and jesper's favourite room has always been wylan's music room — its where they retire after dinner or after a long day. also. i'd bet my life savings on it always smelling like some kind of insanely expensive pot pourri

also general disclaimer: every building listed here has indoor plumbing bcus i refuse to accept otherwise. i do not care about realism. i just dont want to think about outhouses or a lack of flushing toilets/running water. thanks for understanding

[packedwithpackards]

The first in a line of Packards: the story of Elizabeth

Building off the last post in this blog, where I pledged to write about more female ancestors, countering past gender imbalances, I'd like to focus on Elizabeth, the wife of Samuel Packard, who came over with a child, likely Mary, in 1638 from Hingham, a town in Norfolk County, England, to Hingham, a settlement in Plymouth County, Massachusetts. Many aspects of her life are an utter mystery. Her surname, long speculated to be Stream, is unknown, and is often given second billing, when it comes to efforts by Packard descendants to remember the past, elevating Samuel Packard above her, even by those than communicated with my grandfather, Bob Mills, or those that communicated with me in the past. The same is the case in contemporary records during the time her husband, Samuel, was alive, already implying was a second-class citizen. But, who was she, and why does she matter?

As I've written in the past, Elizabeth seems to have met Samuel when he moved to Norfolk County, which was north of Suffolk County, where he was born, reportedly in the Red House Farm. I am, to be clear, indirectly descended from both people. Apart from that, she had, at least nine children with Samuel, along with five grandchildren. [1] I tied to break this down into a listing so its much easier for you (and me) to understand those mentioned in Samuel's will:

Elizabeth X, wife of Samuel

Samuel, son of Samuel and Elizabeth, eldest son

Zaccheus, son of Samuel and Elizabeth

John, son of Samuel and Elizabeth

Nathaniel, son of Samuel and Elizabeth

Mary, daughter of Samuel and Elizabeth, wife of Richard Phillips

Hannah, daughter of Samuel and Elizabeth, wife of Thomas Randall

Jaell, daughter of Samuel and Elizabeth, wife of John Smith

Deborah, daughter of Samuel and Elizabeth, wife of Thomas Washburn

Grandchild Israel Augur, son of ???

Grandchild Caleb Philips, son of Richard? Phillips

Grandchild Israel Packard, son of Zaccheus

Grandchild Samuel Packard, son of Samuel

Grandchild Daniel Packard, son of Samuel

In his will on October 29, 1684, Elizabeth received some money from her husband and much, much more. This included gobs and jobs of land, including:

his farm in the town of Bridgewater (36 acres), along with lands and meadows connected to the farm

share of meadow called Bullshole for life

all his goods and cattle

40 pounds for life

20 acres of land lying in Bridgewater between lands owned by James Keith and Joseph Hayward near Satuckett Pond

all money and chattle shall be divided equally among his children and grandchildren after she dies

a feather bed, which shall be given to his grandchild Deliverance Augur after her death

one of the joint executors of his estate along with her son Samuel

That's a sizable amount!

After Samuel died, she married a man, likely in late 1684 or perhaps in early 1685, by the name of John Washburn, a long-time Bridgewater resident. He would die sometime after October 30, 1686, outlining the following in his will [2]:

to my Wife Elizabeth Washbourne one Bed one Boulster one Pillow two pair of sheets one Blanket one Coverlet two chests Six bushels of Indian Corne one bushell of Barley. ffarther with Respect to money which was my wives part whereof I have already laid out for her we are agreed that I should Returne to her two pounds and ten shillings which I have already done.

Of course, she is not mentioned at all in his inventory. [3]

Over ten years after Samuel's death, on October 27, 1694, Elizabeth sold land given to her by Samuel: a 20-acre tract called “Satuckett Pond” or “Sehucket Pond," selling the  the land to “an Indian” living in Bridgewater named Sam James for five pounds. [4] This agreement would be signed by Samuel’s son of the same name, Samuel Packard, Jr., along with two others, while identifying her as "Elizabeth Washburn Widow of the Town of Bridgewater":

Most importantly, in this agreement she explicitly noted herself as married to Samuel, calling him her "first husband":

"...by these presents convent with the said Sam James his heirs & assigners I...at the lime of making over and passing away said Land unto the said Sam James stood truley & lawfully peired and processed with the same & every part and parcel thereof of a good lure, lawfully & absolute Estate of Inheritance, by virtual of my first Husband, vis: Samuel Packard his will, and therefor, I have full power to Bargain, Sell, Grant, alienate, and pass away the piece onto said Sam James.

It goes on from there in legalese, basically saying she has the right to give Sam James the land. This transcription may not be completely correct, so I'd recommend you read the full page below, as I could have made errors:

Many years later, in April 1702, Elizabeth, still a “widow,” would sign a document about John Washburn’s heirs, receiving some rights. I came to the conclusion this is her as she is called "Elizabeth Solo" (widow):

"Massachusetts Land Records, 1620-1986," images, FamilySearch, Bristol, Deeds 1699-1709 vol 3-5, image 304 of 806, page 83, county courthouses and offices, Massachusetts.

That is the last record we have of her. What I have posed here goes far beyond what I wrote in the past. Further recommendations for how I can find more about Elizabeth are appreciated, as I'm planning to focus on later Packard ancestors in the future.

Notes

[1] Last Will and Testament of Samuell Packer, Oct. 29, 1684, Plymouth Colony Records, Wills Vol. 3, Part 2, Plymouth Registry of Deeds, Massachusetts, Plymouth County, Probate Records, Plymouth, p. 96-98, images 585-586 of 616.

[2] "Massachusetts, Plymouth County, Probate Records, 1633-1967," images, FamilySearch, Probate records 1686-1702 and 1849-1867 vol 1-1F, image 49 of 490, pages 84-85; State Archives, Boston.

[3] "Massachusetts, Plymouth County, Probate Records, 1633-1967," images, FamilySearch, Probate records 1686-1702 and 1849-1867 vol 1-1F, image 50 of 490, pages 86; State Archives, Boston.

[4] "Massachusetts Land Records, 1620-1986," images, FamilySearch, Plymouth, Deeds 1712-1714 vol 10, images 183-184 of 651, page 333, 334-5; county courthouses and offices, Massachusetts.

Note: This was originally posted on Dec. 26, 2019 on the main Packed with Packards WordPress blog (it can also be found on the Wayback Machine here). My research is still ongoing, so some conclusions in this piece may change in the future.

© 2019-2022 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.

[grayyxv]

A Comprehensive Analysis of Eustass 'Captain' Kid

I've been wanting to write this for awhile now as Kid is undoubtedly one of my favourite characters in One Piece. Also, I'm majoring in Psychology so I can't help but think about why I love his character so much.

Disclaimer: As we all know, Kid doesn't have much screentime so it's quite difficult to understand his character completely. So, whatever you read will be my own intepretation of his character (based on the little amount of scenes that he has). Of course, you don't have to agree with it but it might give you a bit of a different perspective!

So, withour further ado, let's begin!

*P.s I'll try to make it flow in but it might end up really messy so I apologize for that*

Note: NOT SPOILER FREE!!!

1. Assumptions

I guess I'll begin with some of the common assumptions of his character based on posts/videos I've seen about his character. They frequently refer to Kid as 'cruel' or 'heartless'. Basically, there are many negative remarks about his character that makes him seem like a total psychopath.

Their reasoning for this would be because:

- He mentioned that he would kill anyone would mocked him

- His high bounty = He's notorious & violent

- The way he acts makes him come off as a bloodthirsty pirate

From another standpoint, I can see why people might think that way about him. The way he speaks and acts does make him look villainous. In addition, his primary role in One Piece is to be Luffy's rival. (I'll expand on this point later.) So, one might think that his morals would contrast Luffy. Whereas Luffy is the kind and benevolent pirate, Kid is the 'bad guy' who is cruel and heartless. The question is, though Kid is rival character, why does that necessarily mean that he would be a bad guy? I strongly disagree that Kid is a psychopath and that he is heartless. Firstly, the term 'psychopath' shouldn't be used so loosely. A true psychopath would have no regard for other's feelings which is not true of Kid because he cares very much for his crew. On the other hand, Doflamingo would be a good example of a psychopath. Next, even if Kid WERE a psychopath, not all psychopaths are violent. So it'd be nice if people stopped misrepresenting psychopaths.

Now, if there is one thing I learned in psychology, is that people tend to make assumptions about a person's actions as part of their personal dispositions rather than because of situation. This would be the Fundamental Attribution Error (FAE). What do I mean by this? Let's take a look at Kid's scenario. He mentioned killing people who mocked his dream. Killing people would make people automatically assume that Kid is 'violent'. But here is a different perspective, what if 'mocking him' had meant that they tried to start a fight with him? Provoking other people repeatedly would cause anybody to get angry. There are many other characters who acts this way as well. Sure, Luffy doesn't go as far as to kill them but I'm sure that many other characters do because they are PIRATES.

In contrast, I think of this situation as Kid standing up for himself. He believes in himself and he would beat anyone up who tells him otherwise. If you think about it, Luffy is kind of similar because he ends up fighting anyone who tries to stop him from attaining his goal.

That is pretty much all the assumptions that people make about his character. It's sad how they don't delve deeper but fret not!! I still have more to say.

2. Pre-Timeskip vs Timeskip Changes/Growth as a character

During Pre-timeskip, Kid is seen as overconfident. I actually agree with this statement quite a lot. His high bounty was a result of his reckless behaviour. He could easily triumph over anyone before the timeskip. That was when he started to become a little too full of himself. Consequently, he suffered heavy losses. His arm was taken by Shanks, his crew was utterly defeated by Kaido (curse you Apoo) and his reputation as the top supernova was instantly lost to Luffy. His true character development was in the Wano arc where we see how he starts to take a step back and re-evaluate his situation. The most obvious evidence for this was when he got captured in Udon. He was quiet (before Luffy's arrival) and deep in thought. So many things had happened to him, you could even argue that he was feeling slightly lost and helpless (not depressed) because he was utterly defeated. The motivation and drive he had in pre-timeskip was shattered- Until Luffy arrived of course. When Luffy arrived, he was battered and bruised but he was still ready to fight. Kid, who saw how Luffy still had his fighting spirit, was somehow inspired to keep on fighting. It's almost as if Luffy is Kid's drive to be stronger.

So, what does this all say about Kid?

I think that this makes his character believable as it can represent real life. There are some points in our lives where we could be the greatest but, sometimes, life can be pretty cruel too. If you get too cocky or overconfident, the world will punish you. I saw a comment that says Kid is Luffy but without the plot armour. That is very true. Kid isn't perfect. He made tons of crappy decisions and dealt which the consequences. I'd say he's as reckless as Luffy, perhaps LESS reckless than Luffy but he suffers more than Luffy does. While Luffy could bask in glory, all Kid got was the short end of the stick. I think that is the reason why I find Kid such an appealing character- because its an accurate representation of real life. Sometimes you can try as hard as someone else but you won't always get the spolight.

The other appealing aspect is his persistence. He made mistakes and bad decisions but he knows that he can't undo them and has to move on. Kid isn't as lucky as Luffy because he didn't have someone like Rayleigh to train him so, he had to put in more effort somehow. The main point is, he had to learn everything the hard way. Yet, he still strives to be the best which is very befitting of a rival character.

3. interactions & Personality

Another thing I frequently see when people Kid and Luffy is that: People say that while Kid makes enemies, Luffy makes allies which is why he has so much support from others around him. I was thinking about this a lot and I can't help but disgaree. I saw another post where they mentioned Kid's MBTI personality is INFJ which made me think even more about that statement. From here on, I will include several headcanons about his character as well.

Let me offer you a different perspective. Perhaps Kid isn't good at expressing his feelings. The way he speaks may come off as cold which makes other people dislike him because they think he is rude whereas he simply doesn't know how to communicate with others very well. Luffy is no doubt an extrovert, seeing how he is easily able to interact with others. Kid on the other hand, if he is an introvert, it could be an explaination to why he doesn't have many interactions with others. I don't see him as someone who's very 'sociable'. So he could experience some difficulty when communicating his feelings. He's shown to be closer to his crew more than anyone else. He is deeply respected by his crewmates because he is sensitive to their needs as well. He isn't the tyrant that everyone paints him to be, he earned that respect by first respecting his crewmates. Also, he would essentially DIE for any of his crewmates. This part is quite self explainatory if you've read the chapter where they revealed what happened to Kid and Killer in Wano.

I just want to add that while Killer suffered so much in Wano, imagine how much it hurt Kid to see his first mate suffer and how he couldn't do anything about it. The expression on his face is perfectly the anger he had towards Kaido, Apoo and more importantly, HIMSELF for not being strong enough. Yet, people call him heartless though he would literally die for Killer.

But anyways, Kid is an excellent listener and he cares very deeply for people he is close to. I just think he's bad at communicating. Look at the way he talks to Luffy. In Wano, you can see how Kid actually does LIKE Luffy as a rival. He just has trouble expressing himself. Anyways, this is just a headcanon but I think that he's rather sensitive to other's feelings- Especially when it comes to his crew. I really like the idea that he's an INFJ because he seems more like the 'advocate' type of character. I still think he makes a very good leader but his approach would contrast Luffy's.

4. Intelligence

I could probaly go on forever about why I love Kid but this is another thing that I see about Kid and kind of annoys me. I'm not sure why everyone seems to think he's a dumbass. Like REALLY. I think he's pretty intelligent. He even kept tabs on the whole SMILE situation and Doflamingo and planned the alliance. He IS intelligent but his recklessness just makes him seem like an idiot.

Kid isn't perfect, he is flawed just like a real human being would be. By no means is he a GOOD person but I don't think he is as 'cruel' or 'bad' as people paint him to be. He cares a lot for his crew. He is very driven by his own personal values and he wouldn't 'change' for anyone. He believes in himself and if anyone tells him otherwise, he would simply beat them up. He isn't happy go lucky like Luffy, he is much deeper than that. He would consider his options and plan- to a certain extent because he is also quite idealistic. Hence, the reason why I feel like his character is such an interesting one is because there is a lot of opportunity for him to grow and stray away from stereotypical anime character traits. His character is believable because his personality is realistic, it could reflect a real human being.

TLDR: Stop sleeping on Kid.

With that, thanks for coming to my ted talk.

Anyways, that's it for now! I'll make a part 2 if I feel like I want to add something. If people like this, I'll consider making another analysis for other characters. Currently I have Law, Ace and Sabo planned in mind but we'll see how it goes.

Thanks for reading!

[ultraclops]

Semi-Live Blogging: Finale Time!

With reaction images this time!

Adoradad

TRAINING EXERCIIISE

Adorabat's practicing her screaming! Bet that's gonna come in handy later.

"Fneh!" Wow what an introduction Eugene

His design is like? Really cool?? He looks practically nothing like Adorabat tho. And why does he have a spade on his stomach instead of a heart??

Badgerclops drew him with a giant ass mustache lol.

Adorabat takes banjo lessons? More importantly, Eugene thought she was at a banjo lesson FOR 8 MONTHS?!

"She scares me" lol

Adorabat ran away from home? Why?

"I thought you were a ward of the state!" Remember when everyone thought Adorabat was an orphan? Yea.

"I thought you were my conscience!" Badgerclops...you've lived with Adorabat for a year...went to her school...AND YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS A PIECE OF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS?!

...why did Badgerclops use Adorabat as monster bait...

I expected to hate Eugene but he's actually really cute and interesting?? Aside from the fact he thinks Mao Mao & Badgerclops are criminals. Love to see him again sometime!

Wow her dad has a whole badass mansion!! Why doesn't she just stay there...

Oh...her mom died...that's why he's so protective of her and was so upset when she left. Also her mom looks amazing & I wanna see a flashback episode with her. For some reason I can imagine her sounding like a deeper version of Scoops?

Aww Adorabat's room is super cool! Also Eugene cracking the door for her asfgjkl

"Do you think that monsters attacking the city are gonna - wait, does that have peanut butter in it? " (Cuts to MM & BC eating ice cream while crying) That's a perfectly rational reaction to losing your adoptive daughter

"I can keep it together!" (Cut to Mao Mao trying and failing to shovel ice cream in his mouth with his helmet on) NSADGEDHAMADH

Wait a second. Mao's eating mint chocolate chip ice cream. ISN'T CHOCOLATE TOXIC TO CATS?!

"But you said I was part of the team!!" "Then you're...off the team."

Adorabat crying while showing Eugene the picture OUCH MY HEART...

"I used to go exploring in those caves with Mom all the time..." I'm guessing those are the caves from the promo?

"She wasn't afraid of anything!" " Well Adorabat definitely takes after her mother...

"And then one day, Sonara didn't come back with you." Ooh her name's Sonara!! Pretty!! I can't tell if they chose it cuz it sounds like Sonar or because it means "pleasant sounding"

Glad to see Adorabat's still a die-hard metal fan, even with Eugene

Oof Mao isn't taking this well at ALL if he's pretending Adorabat's molt is her...

OOH SHIT ADORABAT RAN OFF TO THE CAVES - wait a minute no she didn't. OH NO EUGENE WENT TO THE CAVES

Ooh there's Sonara's looking glass, bet that's gonna be important

Yay Adorabat saved her dad!

Damn Adorabat must be super traumatized after basically watching her mother die. No wonder she tried to murder Boba-Chan!

Oh the only way to stop the monster is by screaming!

(Mao Mao hears Adorabat scream) "ADORABAT?!" ADOPTIVE DAD POWERS ACTIVATE

Ooh her mother's figure appears over her when she says she's not afraid of anyone...maybe her spirit's inside of her or something?

REVENGE TIME BAYBEY

HOLY SHIT ADORABAT FUCKING MURDERED THAT THING

Eugene & Adorabat both apologized to each other I...

"You can't just leave without the most fearless member of the group!" YAAY ADORABAT'S BACK (Also how are we gonna explain to Eugene Adorabat's scared of the dark?)

"I'll mess 'em up real good! So good, their mommies and daddies won't be able to recognize them when I'm done..." Daaammmnnn...

"She scares me :)"

I wonder...is Sonara really dead? Or are they gonna pull a Kipo & have her still be alive but in a different form?

Badge-A-Fire explosion

Uhh...where is Badgerclops? And why is Mao Mao on the top bunk?!

Of course Badgerclops is petty enough to install a fake monster alarm on his laptop to wake Mao Mao and Adorabat up.

"This is a super-serious work meeting, as you can see by the fact that I haven't provided any snacks!" No snacks?! This must be a serious issue!! /s

"As you know, I am a creative genius. Sometimes there's so much natural creative genius that my brain overloads, and I enter a heightened state that I call 'Ultra Focus'..." Oh so basically like hyperfixation?

"...where I break into a creative sprint, inventing super-advanced technology at supernatural speeds, unparalleled by anyone in the entire field of science." Okay maybe only a LITTLE bit like hyperfixation...wait a second, IS THAT WHY BADGERCLOPS IS SO TIRED ALL THE TIME?!

Uhh did he get his arm stuck in the front door? HE TOOK THE AEROCYCLE?!

"...I forget everything the next morning." Remember my headcanon that Badgerclops represses his memories? Yea...

"Which is why it's not my fault and I don't think I should be criticized :D" TBH I screamed with laughter at this scene solely because of the expression he made

...HE GAVE THE SKY PIRATES THE GEM CELL?! I mean he clearly wasn't thinking right when he did it BUT STILL?!

"Oh hey, I told you I'd use that weird elevator thing!" Dude you LITERALLY used it in Ultraclops. What are you talking about.

"If the Sky Pirates had the Gem Cell, they would've used it already!" That is a fair point ngl.

Umm...did Badgerclops give Adorabat a BOMB?!

Tbh if my friend woke me up in the middle of the night with weird-looking eyes and handed me a timer while saying something about an explosion I would DEFINITELY not go back to sleep afterwards...

I'm sorry, IS THE WHOLE VALLEY GONNA BLOW UP?! WHAT THE HELL DID HE MAKE?!

Mao wiping Badgerclops' tears I'm

A paper towel dispenser? Well that's not that bad - IS THAT A GIANT PAIR OF PANTS?!

Ooh it's not a shock collar it's a translator!! That makes a bit more sense... "I HAVE NO REMORSE OR CONCEPT OF EMPATHY!" ...if the monster doesn't have remorse or empathy how does it know what those words mean...

Badgerclops keeps telling Mao Mao & Adorabat not to criticize him...hmm...I wonder who criticized his inventions that made him that way...*cough* HIS MOM *cough*

"Are all your inventions this weird?!" "YOU'RE WEIRD!!"

IM SORRY DID BADGERCLOPS BUILD A DANCING MACHINE INTO MAO MAO'S BONES?! HIS BONES?! AND HE MADE ADORABAT A SECOND MEGAPEG?!

What in the absolute hell is going on dgaadhdagdadga

Okay but when Badgerclops clutched his head and started shaking when Mao Mao asked why he made those things...I FELT THAT IN MY HEART I FELT THAT IN MY SOUL

Ngl this scene really hit home for me cuz that's how I act when I have a breakdown...

The timer went off but nothing blew up - WAIT, IS THAT A REPLICA OF MECHA HOSSORAFFASNAKEARANG?!

"Initializing Totally Humane Knockout Procedure." (Proceeds to slam the Sheriff's Dept. into the ground) ajdajdgdad

Ooh...ohh they're on some sort of water park...ride...thing??

"And if I didn't want us to get out, then I made sure we couldn't...with super-strong shoe things." But there isn't any on Adorabat, can't she just squeeze herself out?

Ooh I'm getting Pirates of the Caribbean vibes

There's the Gem Cell, it must be powering the ride! Also the robotic arm slaps Mao's hand the same way Mao slaps Badgerclops' hand in Flyaway skkkk

"My amazing creativity is finally gonna destroy us all..." "Hey, at least we'll be destroyed together!" Fair point, fair point

The shoosh returneth

"I always loved inventing." So he was an inventor ever since he was little? Daww.

YOUNG BC IS SO ADORABLE!! He has a lil medical patch instead of an eyepatch which is def more accurate to real life...but what's the vest for? Protection in case he falls? A pressure stim?

That figure's def his mom since they rejected his ideas & he mentions she was mean to him. Also the theory that his mom's a villain seems a bit stronger since they straight-up hand him a tool kid + a set of blueprints with no regard to his safety...

"Also there was a bunch of other kids at school and some other people throughout my life who mocked me relentlessly." THEN WHY'D YOU TELL ADORABAT YOU COULDN'T RELATE TO HER WHEN SHE SAID NO ONE WANTED TO BE HER FRIEND?! (Also I noticed literally all the kids are other badgers, so I'm assuming Badgerclops grew up sheltered like Mao Mao did.)

So the Ultra Focus is basically a really weird coping mechanism to deal with all the abuse and bullying he went through? Holy fuckkk

"They only made fun of you because they were jealous. Happened to me my whole life!" Umm...

"Even the dance chip I surgically implanted in your brain?" Excuse me the dance chip that you WHAT

"I love you-" HE SAID IT 💗💓💗💓

"I'm finally around people who love and understand me..."

Wait did the cannon misfire? DID IT BLOW A HOLE IN THE GROUND?!

OH HE ACTUALLY DID CREATE AN ANIMATRONIC BAND?! I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE!!

"Take it away, Boss Hosstritch!" (Distorted garbling)

Oof Mao caught all the water

"We hope you all enjoyed being Badgerclops' friend." 💞💕💞💕

Not that anyone cares but I noticed there's a picture of some of the Sweetypies on the monitors, meaning 1. Badgerclops tested it out using them first, or 2. Badgerclops just likes those Sweetypies for whatever reason. Tho that makes me wonder why he'd choose Pinky of all people...

THE SKY PIRATES WERE INSIDE THE ANIMATRONICS THE WHOLE TIME?! THE MAN BEHIND THE SLAUGHTE

Zing Your Heart Out

Why are they giving out rotten sushi??

"HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT ME EATING SOMETHING GROSSLY?!"

Ooh god Chester's gonna be super freaking annoying in this episode, I can feel it.

"What's blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!" BAYBEY

Jesus what a prick. GET HIM MAO MAO

Ngl that background's really pretty...

Oooh no the Ruby Pure Heart's being weird again. Ooh no.

FUCK YEA ROAST HIM BABY - Did Adorabat's eyes turn purple because the Ruby Pure Heart gave her powers?

Oh so the siren in Badgerclops' robo-arm is a backup monster alarm?

More Sky Pirates - and the Pure Heart's being weird again...

"I'd tell you but despite your height it'd go right over your HEAD!" Asdfgghjjk

"For someone with two brains, you're not very BRIGHT!" EVEN BETTER

Kevin said he was raising money for a school trip, then for a trip to the hospital...which one is he raising money for?!

"SILENCE PANCAKE, LEST YE BE BUTTERED"

OOH NO SHE ATTACKED MAO AND BC

"IT FEELS LIKE THE WEIGHT OF ONE THOUSAND PLANETS!!"

"One second, I'm getting mad, and the next thing you know-" Is she freaking possessed??

Wait, is the Pure Heart TALKING to Adorabat?! How?!

Cluckins you don't ask people what's wrong with their eyeballs...even if there is something wrong with their eyeballs

"I CAN'T FEEL MY SELF-RESPECT!!"

The pure 'oh shit' on Marion's face when Adorabat turns to her

Half of the people she insulted showed up to her party! Didn't that mean she loved them?!

Oh god not this bitch again - nvm, thanks Adorabat

"Taking over the castle and ruling Pure Heart Valley forever does sound nice..." This is starting to remind me of that one AU where Adorabat turns evil, becomes the ruler of the Sky Pirates, then convinces them to kill Snugglemagne and becomes the queen of Pure Heart...she isn't gonna kill Snugglemagne, is she?

What did Adorabat tell Snugglemagne?! I WANNA KNO

Why is Pinky stealing teeth...reminds me of this

NO BC DON'T EAT THE TEETH

"I...hate myself! Therefore, I'm invincible!" So the trick to not getting your ego destroyed...is to not have an ego. Sounds reasonable.

"Your bug platter, my king?" Genderfluid Adorabat rights

"Mao Mao, your head looks like a CROW!" (Mao Mao caws) IT WAS A LIE HE ISN'T A CAT HE WAS A CROW THIS WHOLE TIME-

"It looks like a half-melted ice cream cone!!" That is...a strange way to describe your own neck...

"Well, I'm...bad (◡‿◡)" Kinda weird that the canonically depressed character can't even cleverly insult himself

...why does Adorabat's skin smell like old cantaloupe

OH SHE IS POSSESSED!!

HOLY SHIT MAO WAS GONNA FUCKING MURDER ADORABAT TO SAVE THE KINGDOM?! THANK GOD HE SAW HER JOKE BOOK, HOLY SHIT

Positivity outweighs negativity!

"WHERE DOES A 800 POUND GORILLA SIT?!" "Where ever it wants!◝(⁰▿⁰)◜" Curse you for making me laugh...

OOH NO THE JOKEBOOK! - Wait nvm Mao remembers Adorabat's jokes!

I think the reason they used that joke is because it represents Mao Mao and Adorabat - Adorabat is blue, and she wants to be like Mao Mao, who wears red. What is BLUE, and smells like (is similar to) RED paint?

YAAAY HE BROKE HER FREE FROM MIND CONTROL!! And did BC get Thanos snapped in the background?

"Thank goodness you're alright! We almost..." Fucking murdered you? Yea

"Might we have our crown and kingdom back, yes?"

"Sorry for being such a monster today." "You're a monster everyday." Is that a joke because she was today's villain, a reference to Sleeper Sofa or foreshadowing?

I hope Mao Mao and Badgerclops decide to investigate what's up with the Heart in Season Two, cause I highly doubt they'll let Adorabat getting fucking possessed go under the radar.

The visual gag of Mao trying to stomp out his ice cream cone like a cigarette is perfect. This is peak comedy everyone else go home

WHOOP CHESTER'S ASS GUYS

Strange Bedfellows

"So, your name is Boss Hosstrich, but you're not actually the boss?" How long did it take him to realize that

JFC Mao & Orangusnake are REALLY hellbent on killing each other huh...at least the deputies and the other Sky Pirates have common sense.

Hahaha nice Dragon Ball Z reference - and they both got crushed by the monster! Lovely.

...did Mao seriously think he died and went to heaven?

So does Orangusnake breathe through Tanner or do they both breathe independently & Coby can feel when Tanner can't?

Dang those skeletons remind me of the Steven Universe Future episode Growing Pains. And why is Lucky inside of Orangusnake? "THAT WAS MY LUNCH, JERK!" Ooh that's why.

"They're full of these tiny, little cracks or, as they're known in the medical field, 'whoopsie-boo-boos'." AGSADGASGADGDASG

Damn their skeletons are just gonna freaking evaporate huh...

"The doctor said I was very brave :D"

Ooh shit the Deputies and the other Sky Pirates met at the same elevator, are they gonna fight - nevermind, they're still calling time.

JESUS CHRIST ARE MAO & ORANGUSNAKE EVER GONNA STOP?!

"You don't have the guts!" "I have a million guts." That is...mildly concerning

"Yeah, I wanted to be a baker, before I realized I liked hurting people so much." Then why doesn't she just like, help Muffins or something?

Tbh I thought Ratarang was holding a gun and I'm glad it was just a weirdly wrapped banana

CONE OF SHAME. CONE OF SHAME. CONE OF SHAME.

"Aww, y'all shouldn't have - this is empty." "Just like my heart when you injure yourself!!" He loves him sm...💓💓

"Why didn't you bring me weapons?!" "Because this is a hospital, and I'm a good boy (◡‿◡ )"

"I really feel like this could be a turning point in their relationship." (Mao and Orangusnake proceed to try and kill each other again) *sigh*

Ngl Mao & Orangusnake constantly repeating themselves is getting super annoying.

That hospital bed beeping is giving me flashbacks to all the times I went to the hospital for seizures...

"You know y'all could live like this, like, all the time if you didn't go around hurting people, right?" "Pssh! Tsk-tsk, boy. You know I gots to hurt people." Uhh you guys should really listen to Badgerclops he knows what tf he's talking about

UUhh, whose egg is that? "MAMA" ASGagddahDh

Of course they had to land in freaking CEMENT to realize that maybe they shouldn't kill each other

Did Mao just deflate like a ballo- oh nvm there he go.

Boneless Mao. Boneless Mao.

And Mao saved Orangusnake!! By...breaking every bone in his body somehow.

"I'm the kind of hero who wants to save you so I can fight you later...at the right time and place." Just gonna file this along with the credit score scene from Perfect Couple in the 'Orangumao' folder.

Is Badgerclops duct taping Mao to the stretcher? I mean, at least he won't move & hurt himself again but geez

Tbh Zing would’ve made a better finale than this ep. At least it had a sequel hook

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

(Vol. XXII)

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Worry about you

(6x15/6x17/6x19)

Hi my friends! Today I want to talk with seriousness about one of the most hilarious episodes from season 6. And because it was written by Ben Edlund, there's juicy Destiel elements there. I will talk too about episode 18 and 19, near to the end, because I will take some points from those too.

I want to give thanks to my friend @agusvedder , she made the gifs for this meta! Love ya girl!

Ok, let's start this volume...

Balthazar calling Cas as Cassie

When 6x15 "The French Mistake" starts, Balthazar appears in Bobby's house, moving fast as Cas did in 6x03, appearing and dissapearing the whole time looking for things to use in a spell... In the middle of that loud scene, this dialogue is developed...

BALTHAZAR: Raphael is after us all. You see, he's consolidated his strength. And now he's on the move.

SAM: And where's Cas?

BALTHAZAR: Oh, Cassie? He is deep, deep underground. So, good old Raffy put out a hit list on every last Samaritan who helped our dear Cas – Including both of you. And so much more importantly, me. See, he wants to draw Cas out in the open.

First of all I want to say, each episode written by Edlund, shows us DEAN AND CAS ARE IN LOVE, each one of them. The man knew what he was doing writing their relationship as romantic. So, I would say... This wasn't the exception... Why Balthazar would name Cas as Cassie (Dean's first love?) Balthazar doesn't know that, but we do, the spectators.

Dean exaggeratedly eye fucking Misha/Cas

One of the most hilarious scenes was this one here ...

Dean playing to be Jensen playing to be Dean, and the eye fucking. Delightful, just because Dean knows Cas and him do that thing the whole time. So, he plays his role, but because Dean is an awful actor, that's the result.

Pretty interesting Dean is aware of it... Just saying.

Dean starts to worry about Cas

By the end of the episode, Raphael find the boys and Balthazar, but Cas makes his apparition. But why on Earth the camera just took Dean's facial reaction to what Cas was saying and doing?

That's fear and concern in Dean's face... He is maybe seeing things are not good... And he's worry because CAS doesn't tell him the whole thing...

CASTIEL It was Balthazar's plan. I would have done the same thing.

Castiel is in soldier mode these words made Dean be a little mad at him...

DEAN That's not comforting, Cas.

He would expect something different from his friend, like maybe, some kind of protection, and not be used as bait. So here Dean is feeling a little disappointed.

CASTIEL When will I be able to make you understand? If I lose against Raphael, we all lose. Everything.

Edlund is pointing one of the excuses for Castiel taking this kind of decisions and positions. Castiel needs desperately to win against Raphael, and he's willing to everything to fulfill that mission. Even lie to the Winchesters and work with Crowley.

DEAN Yeah, Cas. We know the stakes. That's about all you've told us!

CASTIEL I'm sorry about all this. I'll explain when I can.

Cas would love to count with them and not lie them, but he's at war.

DEAN Friggin' angels.

Edlund's Dean quote each time an angel surprisingly vanish in front of him 🤣

Jealous!Dean attacks again

In episode 6x17 "My heart will go on"

When Fate is attempting to kill Dean and Sam

In that abbandoned restaurante, i noticed something interesting. Remember I mention the colored codification started in this season? Well... We have another Destiel Coded Colored foreshadow. The burner knobs were colored in BLUE and RED, representing Dean and Cas, but toxic, angry Dean. And the whole place exploded... So... What a big and huge foreshadow for the settlement of the bid Destiel fight and break up in the following episodes, isn't?

But we're here to talk about Jealous! Dean, because we love it.

When Cas saves the boys from that explosion, this was part of the talk...

DEAN So we've pissed fate off personally.

CASTIEL If I know her – and I do – she won't stop until you're dead.

DEAN  Awesome. So what do we do?

CASTIEL Kill her.

SAM Kill fate?

CASTIEL Do you have another suggestion?

SAM No, I'm – I just mean, uh...Can you even do that?

CASTIEL Balthazar has a weapon that will work against her.

DEAN Of course he does. Yeah. Boy, that guy's just got it covered, doesn't he?You need new friends, Cas.

Do you notice the shade of jealousy here?? And then...

The dialogue between Fate and Cas showed us again how desperately was Castiel to win the war. And Balthazar was working for him. We see more about how CAS is getting into the dark side for the biggest purpose.

But even so, they showed us too, he's worry about Sam and Dean safety.

By the end of the episode, we had another dialogue between Castiel and the boys...

And Cas lies to Dean...

And then Dean makes a bad joke, and Cas dissapears again.

DEAN I'll tell you one thing about Cas, he does not appreciate the finer things.

Dean says this because isn't the first time he makes a joke and Cas vanishes. But I wonder if is related to Castiel feeling a little bit offended, and you'll know what I mean in the next point...

Dean mocking CAS, just because he enjoys it

In episode 6x19 "Mommy Dearest" we can see how since this scene happened...

So, Cas feel offended, and Sammy pointed that to Dean. Dean gets a little surprised, but...I'm sure this was very enjoyable for him, because then he'll mock him again.

Also... I want to mark here something... If Cas was able to dissapeard by flying here, I'm sure he may do it. Because... I recall that scene in the car in season 5 (last episode) when Dean mocked him about not having sense of humor, he vanished then. And the we had the Kate Winslet's breast joke, and now this one... So...

We had this one here...

Again mentioning babies, because he knows Cas got mad about that, and he repeats the action. He's enjoying it, for sure.

But we will have a sweet Innocent comment, I just wanted to share...

The thing here is the sexual innuendos in this episode, firs the famous "Cas get out of my ass!" And now this one here, so funny the double meaning... And Dean's gay panic face 🤣🤣🤣😏.

Castiel is worried about Dean

This episode showed us too, Cas in his soldier mode, can see things the boys can't. Like those little kids in that police station.

Castiel and Dean fought because CAS wasn't agreed with them in driving those kids to their home.

CAS: Dean, Dean. Millions of lives are at stakes here, not just two. Stay focused.

Castiel in soldier mode, trying to make Dean to understand the danger in his decision, but it was late, because Sam and Dean saw in those kids themselves.

DEAN: Are you kidding?

CAS: There's a greater purpose here.

Castiel's excuse to do the things he's doing.

DEAN: You know what, I-I'm getting a little sick and tired of the greater purposes, okay? I think what I'd like to do now is save a couple of kids. If you don't mind. We'll catch up. Okay guys, let's go. C'mon. (Dean walks out. Joe, Ryan and Sam follow.)

Cas and Dean are in different pages, Cas is cold minded, first killing Lenore as it was nothing, then torturing the sheriff, and now... Because he's feeling worry about Sam and Dean...

But we know he already fix this sending Crowley.

Another thing is, when Eve attacks Dean, the only one calling his name in despair was CAS...

But when he had to heal him, he took his time, studying Eve's dead body on the ground... He was worried there... Because it supposed that monster should be alive to find Purgatory...

But then Sam reminded him Dean was hurt. So he approached him, and the way he heals him caught my attention, he out his hand on Dean's shoulder... As if he wanted to say something... But he didn't. He just healed him. Maybe with a shade of relief Dean was ok...

Just an addition...NUMBER 25

Ok, the number 25 was mentioned a couple of times in this episode. It was the age of the patient that died and the address in which Eve was.

So... What does this number means? It represents the Argonaut in the arcana. The Argonaut is a Greek hero (it could be Cas) but it also represents in numerology the number 7 that means the inner war to choose the right path and the impulsiveness as a dangerous way to make the wrong decisions... It sound familiar, isn't?

To Conclude

Dean was worried about Castiel because he saw how dangerous was Raphael.

Castiel is between his soldier duty and the love he has for the Winchesters. As we will see in the following metas, he's worried about their safety.

Dean enjoys mocking CAS, that's not news...

Jealous!Dean is delightful too...

Castiel lying to their friends for the biggest purpose, as his excuse. And his impulsiveness and desperation to win a war.

I hope you like this meta, I see you in the next Chronicle. 😘💞

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @koshisekisen @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @xsghn @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant

If you want to be tagged, please let me know.

If you want to read the previous season 6 metas, here the links...

Vol. XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XIX, XX, XXI

Buenos Aires, July 31st 2019 9:14 PM

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.04: “Mint Condition “

THEN: Michael's gone. Supposedly. Dean feels bad. Ghosts are a thing. Salt circles. Monster Kaia's magic spear.

NOW: A comic book/collectibles store. The camera pans over a variety of figurines and memorabilia, including a poster for the movie Hell Hazers, which you may remember from Hollywood Babylon, (thank you, Continuity Fairy!) and briefly pauses on a poster for the movie All Saints' Day before showing a television. Someone's watching Shocker TV, showing scary movies "24 hours a day, all week long." We see clips from Route 666 and that movie they were filming in Hollywood Babylon, whose name escapes me, as well as from a movie we will eventually find out is All Saint's Day. Cut to a guy unpacking a box of collectibles under the watchful eye of a long-haired freak right out of All Saints' Day. I keep waiting for this guy to realize he's being watched, but I am the one who eventually comes to a realization - that's not a guy, it's a statue.

The guy unpacks a box and literally drops it in shock. Because it's haunted, right? No, it's just a Thundercats collectible figure Panthro, in its original box. (No one in my house knows anything about Thundercats, but I assume this is a real character.) He stuffs the box in a backpack, and then his phone rings. The incoming call is a video call, which is weird, because people this age don't even call each other, let alone via video, but it makes for better television, so we'll let it go.

The caller is a girl named Sam, who is apparently his boss. She immediately starts berating the guy for his bad customer service, which resulted in a negative Yelp review. He promises to do better and confirms that she's coming over for game night. Stewart picks up his bag and a set of keys on a Batman keyring and locks up the store, under the watchful eye of the creepy statue.

(Boy, this is a lot of recap before we even get to the title card...)

We see Stewart at his house, arguing with a pizza delivery place. Panthro is sitting on a table and he turns and looks at him. It's surprisingly well done, BTW. Stewart turns to see Panthro on the floor, gets closer, watches Panthro swing his mace, and then screams.

Title card!

Bunker. Dean's lying on his bed, eating pizza and watching Hatchet Man: All Saints' Day, which is a gloriously cheesy salute to the 80s. Well, I'm glad he finally got a TV in his room, but does this mean the Fortress of Deanitude is no more? Is it full of refugee hunters now? Aw, that's sad.

{Sidebar: I wonder if this movie is called All Saints' Day because they knew the episode would be shown on All Saints' Day, and were being meta/clever? Or is it just supposed to be a riff on the Halloween franchise?}

Sam comes in and asks what he's doing, and when Dean looks up, he's shocked to see the Beard of Despair is gone. "Why are you so surprised?" Sam says. "Obviously, judging from my glorious scruff, it's been a few days since I shaved. Have you really not seen me in a day or two?" (No, he doesn't really say that.) But Dean says "it's so smooth; it's like a dolphin's belly." And it's not. It's really not. And as much as I love the scruff - which is quite a bit - I'd also like to see Sam's pretty face smooth as a dolphin's belly sometime. Just sayin'.

Sam (still) wonders if Dean's okay, since he hasn't really come out of his room in a week, which I guess explains how he missed the Big Shave. Dean expositions that Cas is "showing Jack the ropes," because if Jack wants to learn how to be a hunter, there's no better teacher than Cas, right? Absolutely no one. And with Monster!Kaia and Michael "in the wind," and his home full of strangers, Dean apparently figures he's got nothing better to do than hole up in his room watching Hatchet Man movies. (Is Hatchet Man the franchise, and All Saints' Day just one of the titles? I'm having trouble getting a grip on this.)

He knows Sam doesn't get it, because Sam doesn't even like scary movies. "Our life is a scary movie," Sam points out. And speaking of which, he's found a case. He shows Dean a YouTube video of a bloodied Stewart describing his Panthro attack, and I wish I could take credit for this catch, but I saw it on Tumblr... look at the left side of the screen. The "Recommended for You" videos are about zombies, a conspiracy theory, and how to clean your sink, which are all very interesting, but look at the "Up Next" video.

IT'S A FUNNY CAT VIDEO. HAS SAM BEEN WATCHING FUNNY CAT VIDEOS?

Oh, Sammy knows just what he's doing, and I love him for it. He's all, we don't have to take this case involving KILLER THUNDERCAT TOYS if you're not interested, but he's got Dean exactly where he wants him.

His smug little face at the end of this scene gives me life.

Guys, I was so ready for this. A MotW, and Sam giving Dean a hunt he knows he'll enjoy just to help him kick his Michael blues... This is the show I'm here for!

The guys show up at the comic book store dressed like absolute dorks, in short-sleeved shirts and ties. Sam has a pocket protector. I don't know why. But it's single-layer Winchesters and I'm gonna embrace it. Looks like this episode is happening on Halloween and not on All Saints' Day, because they're accosted by costumed children outside the store. Dean comments that Sam still isn't a fan of Halloween (which we've known ever since the pilot; thanks again to the Continuity Fairy). Sam confirms.

Apparently this red mask is a character Jensen voiced in an animation? And of course Jared was in House of Wax. Pretty deep meta here, Show.

BossLady!Sam is there, wearing a red plaid shirt, and Dean comments that she's like Sam's twin. "I don't know what you're talking about," Sam says, as he and BossLady!Sam tuck their hair behind their ears in sync, and I die.

That’s me, in a puddle on the floor.

“Soft, delicate features," Dean points out. "Luxurious hair. She's like your Wonder Twin." All of this is true, Dean, and good on you for noticing that your brother has soft, delicate features and luxurious hair. Sam notices a guy stocking the shelves - black All Saints' Day t-shirt, shortish spiky hair, lollipop just like the one Dean snagged at the door - and says "if that's me, then that's you over there."

Dean's distracted (and delighted) by the Hatchet Man statue, giving him the name David Yaeger. {Sidebar: did you know the word jager means hunter in German?} His doppelganger encourages him to push a button that plays his catch phrases from the movie, including "we all do bad things sometimes." Which is, like Dean's motto. Dean's joy is infectious and adorable.

BossLady!Sam finishes her business with the police and asks what she can do to help the guys, offering "Funko Pops, Magic cards," and given the number of Supernatural Funko Pops decorating my office, I'm pleased with that shout-out. Sam asks about Stewart as Dean asks about vintage Hot Wheels, and Dean, I am very sad to inform you that Hot Wheels apparently never made a 1967 Chevy Impala.

The guys introduce themselves as Ian Gillan and Ritchie Blackmore (Deep Purple, The Husband points out) from Campbell and Sons Insurance (hee!), wanting to speak to Stewart. Presumably not about Hot Wheels, unless he got run over by one. They'd gone to his place, but his roommate said he moved out. Or got kicked out. BossLady!Sam explains that Stewart is an "acquired taste" who makes a lot of online enemies, and he can be found at his mom's house.

I still don't understand why the guys are dressed like nerds. Is it a Halloween costume? Because we've seen them as insurance agents before, and they were wearing regular suits.

Mom's house. Mom puts a couple of mugs on the table - one is a superhero (Flash, maybe?) and one is decorated with cats - and announces that Stewie will be up in just a minute. Dean reaches for the superhero mug, even though it was placed in front of Sam, but the joke's on you, Dean, because we now know Sam likes cats! But more importantly, Dean has added a pair of black Clark Kent eyeglasses to his getup. WHY? I mean, it's hilarious, but WHY?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

We hear Stewart pitching a fit in the basement. He stomps upstairs and sees the Winchesters, and I know the guy in the store was supposed to be Dean's avatar, but this guy is wearing a RED SHIRT WITH A SQUIRREL ON IT. COME ON .

Truly a Red Shirt of Bad Decisions.

We learn that Sam is aware of Fortnight, and Dean notices the smell of burning sage. Stewart explains that he dated a goth chick who told him it would bring good luck, but he broke up before they could "merl." Dean's as confused as I am about "merl," but Sam explains it's MIRL - Meet In Real Life. Dean asks how he knows what that means, and Sam very quickly changes the subject. And this opens up all sorts of interesting possibilities, doesn't it, regarding Sam's online activities and his knowledge of MIRLing, and that would certainly be an entertaining rabbit hole to go down, and I hope some of y'all indulge in that, fic-wise or meta-wise or whatever. I look forward to reading it.

Anyway. Sam asks about the Panthro attack, and Stewart jumps in to say he made it up. When Dean presses, he gets mad and kicks them out of the house and then we cut to an exterior shot and WHAT THE FUCK? NOW DEAN HAS A TACKY CHECKERED BLAZER? It's like he's slowly turning into Matt Foley from SNL. At some point in this episode he's got to say something about living in a van down by the river.

Dean refers to Stewart as "Big Bang," which reminds me that I meant to ask, when we first learned his name, if he was a shout-out to Stewart the comic book store owner on Big Bang Theory. {Sidebar: Would this be a reciprocal shout-out, since that show has a character named Kripke? Is there a connection I don't know about?} Given Stewart's Wiccan girlfriend, they think the toy might have been under a spell, and they decide to check the house for hex bags later. Although I don't know how she would have left any in the house, since they never MIRLed.

Later. The guys are sitting in the car, still outside Stewart's house, when a little lumberjack and vampire walk by. Look, it’s Dean and Benny!

Sam’s instructing someone to use lamb's blood and "stay safe," because he's still Chief, Dean, whether you like it or not. Dean asks "seriously, what is your deal with Halloween," and "don't give me that 'every day is Halloween for us' crap." It's kind of odd that he doesn't already know. I mean, we already know. His life is Halloween. And his mother died two days after Halloween. {Sidebar: Is it just headcanon, fueled by fanfic, that John got blind stupid drunk every year around the anniversary of Mary's death? Or is that canon?} The conversation is interrupted when Stewart's mom leaves the house, and the guys have to duck - toward each other - to avoid being seen. It's ridiculous and hilarious and I love it.

Dean could have just taken off the Clark Kent glasses.

Sam suspects Stewart changed his story because he's being brutally mocked online. And he won't say the word bitch. Is this something we can't do now that we're airing at an earlier hour, Show? Then Stewart comes out of the house, bloody and screaming for help. Dean goes inside, gun drawn, and follows a trail of blood to Stewart's man cave (um, boy cave?). As he gazes at a Texas Chainsaw Massacre poster, he hears a chain saw, which hurtles into the room and barely misses his pretty head.

Hospital. Stewart's mom, still in costume, sits at his side and thanks the guys for saving his life. She wants to go home and get his favorite pillow, but they convince her to stay. "Everything's fine," Dean tells her. "Everything is not fine," he says to Sam, as they leave the room. He says he swept the room for hex bags and found nothing, but the EMF went crazy. So it's a ghost. Hey, guys, you should have watched the "Then." We already knew that. Dean is going to stay at the hospital and keep Mom from going back to the house, while Sam asks around to see if anybody "got dead lately."

At the house, Sam finds the light switch in the Den of Stewartitude doesn't work, even though a lamp and computer monitors are turned on in the room. He laughs at himself for being startled by the Panthro toy and says "nice, Sam, smooth," and for some reason this just almost makes my heart burst open. The toy isn't putting off EMF now, which he finds odd. Then he looks at one of the monitors and sees a group photo of Stewart, LadyBoss!Sam, Dean's doppelganger, and an older man.

Back at the hospital, Dean's doppelganger is standing outside Stewart's darkened room. He is wearing an army green canvas jacket and has acquired some scruff of his own and he's just such a precious little mini Dean; I can't stand it. He asks what Dean's doing there, and Dean says he's just keeping an eye on Stewart. "He must have awesome insurance," Doppelganger says. Which is very funny, and also very Dean, because he says "awesome" so much. I love it.

Dirk explains that Stewart is a jerk, but he's his best friend, and he's there when Dirk needs him. They eat pizza and watch movies and who else does that, my friends? You know who. Then the guys bond over their love of scary movies, and it looks like the franchise is actually called All Saints' Day. I'm sure you were really dying to know. Stewart comments that no hospital would ever be that empty, and Dean says he's been to a lot of hospitals at night, and "trust me, it gets pretty empty," and at first that's just heartbreaking because I figure he was at these hospitals because John or Sam were injured. But maybe he's just thinking about hunts in hospitals. (Again, I need to differentiate fic-fueled headcanon from actual canon.) And then Dean says he likes to watch movies "where I know the bad guy's gonna lose" and yep, my heart is definitely broken.

Sam shows up at the store and asks BossLady!Sam if anyone close to Stewart has died lately. She explains that Jordan, who used to own the store, was kind of a Willy Wonka to her, Stewart, and Dirk (Aha! His name is Dirk! Which is close to Dean, and hasn't Dean actually been called Dirk before?). He died and left the store to BossLady!Sam and Dirk. Not Stewart, because he fired him twice for stealing. But she hired him back because he's a friend. It seems like Stewart has better friends than he deserves. She tells Sam that Jordan was cremated, and then we see something frosting over behind her.

Sam is adorable, trying to look casual as he pulls out his EMF meter and it lights up like a Christmas tree. He tells her it's a carbon monoxide detector and she needs to leave. He starts to tell her she's in danger, and then the David Yeager statue smacks him into the comic book display and knocks him out cold. Even though he hits it with his back. (Handwave!)

When he wakes up, BossLady!Sam is terrified but unhurt. She gets a quick version of the "monsters are real" speech and finds that the door is locked, and Hatchet Man took the keys. He throws something at the door, but it's shatterproof glass. Apparently Jordan was serious about thieves, which explains why he's so keen on killing Stewart, that Panthro-stealing little asshole.

He calls Dean, who's fanboying with Dirk about horror movies, and tells him it's Jordan's ghost. And the David Yaeger figure is on its way. Dean can hardly believe his luck. He pours a ring of salt around Stewart's bed, having given him the speech, and orders him to stay in it. Boy, it's a good thing they reminded us what salt is for in the "Then," or else we'd be really confused right now.

Store. BossLady!Sam figured out what I did, that Jordan wants to kill Stewart because he's a thief. She says she's been taking money out of his check to pay for what he steals, but Jordan wouldn't know that. Sam breaks his lockpick, and then asks if they have any cleaning supplies.

Hospital. Ghost stuff starts happening in Stewart's room, and Dirk panics and flees. Dean takes a hatchet out of a fire emergency box, even though I think that would probably set off a fire alarm. (Handwave!) Dirk's mom is carrying a tray of food from the cafeteria and comes across the Yaeger figure. She drops her tray and screams, just like the woman in the movie. Dirk shows up and puts on a stern face and tells Jordan that if he's going to kill his friend, he has to go through him. Oh Dirk, you sweet little thing, you're channeling Dean so hard now and I adore you. Jordan does come for Dirk, who says "crap" and runs off. There's a funny sequence where we cut back and forth between Dirk and some hospital guards who are watching All Saints' Day and ignoring the actual mayhem happening on their monitors.

Meanwhile, Sam is mixing drain cleaner and something else in a Scooby Doo lunchbox. {Sidebar: I'm not a Scooby Doo fan, but I love the show's constant references to it and the way the Continuity Fairy always remembers Dean's a fan.} BossLady!Sam asks how he learned to do this, and he says "I had a messed up childhood." It's funny because it's true. He hangs the lunchbox bomb on the door and they hide behind the desk. After it blows the door open, they both slowly peek over the desk and simultaneously say "cool." I'm starting to love Sam and his little doppelganger too.

Hospital. Dirk hides in the morgue (no, Dirk, never in the morgue!) and gets a scary hand on his shoulder, but it's Dean. Then a body on one of the gurneys sits up. Yeah, it's Yaeger.

At this point there's a fake movie promo for All Saints' Day III: The Reckoning. It starts out "Three Years Ago," which reminds me very much of a certain scene that starts out "Twenty two years ago." Looks like David Yaeger was killed in a fire on October 31, 1983, which is two days before Mary Winchester dies in a fire. Oh, you clever, clever show.

Back to the show. Dean gleefully fights the Yaeger figure. At least he's gleeful until it seems he's not doing very well. Sam and BossLady!Sam show up, and she's wearing Jared's coat from the EW Halloween photoshoot last year.

Bless you, Show.

She figures out that Jordan must be attached to the Batman keychain. Meanwhile, Dean is cornered, and about to get axed, when precious little badass Dirk stabs Jordan in the back. It doesn't kill him, of course, but it gives Dean a chance to get up and start losing the fight again. The Sams run in and BossLady!Sam figures out that alcohol will help them burn the keychain faster. Whoosh! There goes Jordan, and the statue falls lifeless to the floor.

Aftermath. The guys tell Dirk and BossLady!Sam that everyone is safe now. The Impala scene starts with Dean thanking Sam for "giving me a win." Sam asks him to stop hiding out in his room. "What happened with Michael, you said yes for me, for Jack, for your family. You did the right thing." He says nothing Michael did afterward is Dean's fault, and he needs to stop blaming himself.

"I'm never gonna get over it, okay?" Dean says. "I'm just not." And once again, Sam could say "yes, I understand how you feel, because I've been there too," not to make this all about him, but just to commiserate and show Dean that he's not just blowing off his horrific experience, he knows how bad it was and he might have some good ideas about getting past it. And once again, he does not. But that's okay. What isn't okay is what happens next. Dean asks again why Sam hates Halloween, and Sam tells some ridiculous story about having a crush on a girl in sixth grade and throwing up on her at her Halloween party, and you know what? I just refuse to accept this. WE KNOW WHY SAM HATES HALLOWEEN. AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH A GIRL IN SIXTH GRADE. I don't know why you're doing this to me, Davy Perez. You're usually so good about canon. I cannot accept that Sam Winchester, whose entire life has been Halloween, whose mother died two days after Halloween, is distressed because of something that happened in sixth grade. I'm going to pretend this part never happened. Who's with me?

Dean says that next year, he and Sam are going to wear couples costumes (and if you happened to be wearing your shipping goggles, I think I heard you squealing). Batman and Robin. Bert and Ernie. (!) Rocky and Bullwinkle. (!!) Shaggy and Scooby. Turner and Hooch. Ren and Stimpy. Thelma and Louise. "We just it in drive and go." {Sidebar: Who wants the show to end that way, Thelma and Louise style?}

Meanwhile, back at the hospital, one of those useless security guards finds the Yaeger figure in the morgue. The guys left it there? Oh well. It's a good horror movie ending.

So! For the most part, this was just what I needed after three episodes of mytharc. A good MOTW with lots of humor and nods to canon. On the other hand, there's that one thing. But since I'm ignoring that one thing, I guess this was a fantastic episode! What did you guys think?

Please help me stay unspoiled, thanks!

[themadpoet]

The Scenario: What If We Met Again?

Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to be meeting my dad after all these years. Not that I need him, but I can't help but picture it in my head. I usually think of us sitting in this lonely cafe in downtown city. He would look at me like he was sorry, and I would look at him nonchalantly as if I didn't understand why he would have that kind of look on his face.

It was not the first reaction that I could picture myself making. I used to imagine myself furious. Or maybe cussing out loud and causing a horrid spectacle out in the open. I could also picture myself questioning him with teary eyes.

1. The Questions

"Why did you leave me?" "Am I not worthy enough to be your daughter?" "If you are sorry then why not come sooner?"

There were times in my life when I would contemplate over the questions that I'd like to ask if I happen to see him again. Maybe he would tell me how he met mom. Or stories about when I was a baby. These are the kind of things that I never got the chance to hear in my life. I can't stop imagining what happened before it all went downhill.

But most importantly, I would like to learn how not to become an individual such as him. Growing up, I was always told that he was an intelligent person capable of higher education. He is a lecturer in a prestigious university, after all. However, people seemed to forget that he is also the same person who has no sense of responsibility to look after his abandoned family. Being smart academically doesn't equal the ability to be a good parent. He is a living proof of this statement. The fact that he might be giving out 'good advice' to people that look up to him sends shivers down my spine. Talk about a man who doesn't know how to taste his own medicine.

If I could only ask one thing before I die, I really want to hear his answer to this: did you ever feel guilty knowing that I tried to kill myself when I was 16? I heard that you teared up upon hearing the news. But what if I did? What if I died back then? Because even if I did, it wouldn't mean a thing to you, would it?

Don't come to my funeral. You do not know me. You never do. Just know that you aren't supposed to cry for a stranger. So keep your head up. You do not deserve to cry.

Take the advice that you told me on the day that mom died.

"Let her go. Just let her go."

2. The Wrath

Another scenario that I tend to play out in my head is me being enraged. I have imagined splashing water onto his face just to see how he would react. Causing a scene is definitely a top-tier possibility. Who doesn't want to let go after years of bottling up?

I would let my heart out and shout just to get this thing off my chest. But then, again, a question kicks in: will that be enough? I never really react explosively. More often than not, my reactions are all internalized because I barely know how to express them. I will usually take a timeout to cool off and get back to what angers me with patience. Another question pops out: does he deserve my patience? Because last time I checked, he does not.

In all honesty, I even tried fantasizing about how I would like to off him. I can't even count how many times I have killed him in my head that I got tired of the thought of him dying. All I saw was the same pathetic face filled with regrets. What is more disgusting than that?

I thought my hatred was reasonable. It is like a teenager's anger towards her parents who didn't raise her well. But the more I grew up, the more critical I became, and the rage that I felt towards my dad clouded the way I viewed my mom as well.

Maybe if she were more thoughtful and self-aware, she wouldn't fall for someone like my dad. She would marry someone entirely different and have an okay family. I know it means I wouldn't exist, but God, isn't that a better scenario? Imagine not being born just to endure all of the mess that I'm not even responsible for.

My mom ended up the way she did because she was stupid. Yes, she is the reason why I'm still alive. But that is one of the cruelest things she had ever done to me. Why kept me alive when she barely knew how to raise a kid? She was already in a lot of pain, so why bother having me? The urge to tell her to abort me is astronomical that it hurts me physically sometimes. Whenever I think about how a little choice could jeopardize my entire existence, I still am in awe.

3. The Ignorance

Above anything else, I can’t seem to find a proper way to react in this kind of scenario. I think I have grown numb and used to holding myself back. I indeed always feel the need to constantly put myself in check just because I don’t want to put anybody in an uncomfortable situation (I had people dealing with my unpleasant outbursts and afterward I felt so stupid for letting myself go like that.) So the one inevitable scenario roses up. It is the will to not give a fuck at all.

I consider myself as somebody that is calm and collected. At least the more I grow old the more I learn to control my impulses. And throwing tantrum in front of him like that doesn’t sit right with me anymore. I thought by doing that I could show off my dominance, but if I take a look a little closer, what is happening is pretty much the opposite: I’m letting him control how I feel, which is the worst-case scenario of all time.

The one who should be in charge of how I feel is myself, not others. And showing a hint of emotions—be it sadness, rage, disgust—meaning that I’m giving up the control I have over myself, to him. What is more horrendous than that? After all these years I have come to learn that I shouldn’t give away too much control to people because it is the only way for them to get a hold of my thoughts and feelings. The more power you let somebody have over you, the more influential they become in regard to your emotions. I don’t fancy this kind of interaction. What I fancy is being in charge of my own behavior. And being mad at my dad like that doesn’t contribute to this particular intention.

Whether people believe it or not, the only thing they can control is their own actions and responses. I can’t change the fact that my dad is a jerk and my mom might be a hoe when she was still alive, but it is entirely my choice whether I must react to this or not. And these days I have chosen that the best response to this is not to react at all.

Recently I’m thinking that I would just be sitting there with vacant eyes, staring at my dad as if he was a mere stranger. We would talk a little, and maybe the fact that I’m unbothered by his presence baffles him. Who knows that he had been expecting my outbursts and rejection? But no. The more I think about it, the more I realize that he doesn’t even deserve my time and energy, let alone my wrath. Being in pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice. And I have suffered enough, so why would I want to let myself be mad over him? The moment he walked out of my life I should have realized that it was also a time that I must consider him dead. Because that is what he is now to me: dead and rotten.

It all seems to be the most logical response ever, and I like the idea of it. But at the same time, it got me questioning myself. Am I being practical or would I react that way just because I’m way past numb to even care at all? That’s precisely what I have been feeling recently. I don’t hate, I don’t love. I just exist for the sake of existing. I feel no joy, no sadness. Just vacancy, and maybe sometimes bitterness. That’s the only emotion that I’m capable of. Disgust and bitterness. Worst yet, I don’t even know why I feel that way.

Maybe deep down I would like to believe that he doesn’t influence me at all. I hate it when I realize that I’m letting other people dictate how I feel. It might seem benign for most, but for somebody with a fragile mentality, this is a huge deal for me. I have come to a point where I’m convinced that I might be quite of a control freak. I’m not referring to the undeniable desire to control others, but it is all about me wanting to control myself, and get myself together. Letting people influence my thoughts and emotions is definitely a no-go for me, not when I’m aware that it has the potential to fuck me up eventually. It is the same thing with opening up: if it won’t change a thing, why bother doing it? If being mad and holding grudges against my dad won’t cure my mental illnesses—and might actually worsen my situations—why bother being mad at all?

The last thing that I could do to myself is to let others control me and tell me what to feel.

As I’m writing this down, it reminds me of a sentence that I have encountered in one of the most peculiar books I’ve read. In the book it says:

We all want revenge. We’ve all been hurt one way or another. But the best thing to do is keep on going as if none of it matters. — Grotesque, Natsuo Kirino

I would like to be a living embodiment of this train of thought. I want to just move on as if nothing has ever happened to me. Because the more I feed this revenge, it will eat at me and I’m not going to let that happen.

I have been through enough, at least that is what I believe. And if to move on and play dumb is one way for me to maintain my sanity, why the hell not?

I am in control of my own feelings, as I should ever be. I don’t need anybody telling me that feeling mad or sad—when it comes to this scenario—is okay because it is not okay. Having somebody else undermine one’s sanity will never be okay. And in this case, my sanity is the only thing that I’m holding onto tightly. I’m not letting anyone ruin it. Not in the name of love, let alone revenge.

None of this would matter in the end, so why bother at all?

[inthedreamatorium1]

You're one of the few people on here that, like me, would be happy to see Aaron and Rob raise Seb. I think the story they're telling is Aaron coming round to being Seb's Dad and falling in love with him. It sems they're going to kill Rebecca (sorry if you're a fan but I think that's happening) which would be shitty but also fit the sense of the plot, because Seb losing his Mum would soften Aaron to him and make him want to protect Seb. I'd love to see a slow story of Seb becoming a son to Aaron.

Hi, can I marry you?

I can most definitely see it play out the way you describe. I haven’t spoken much on Rebecca –I honestly have been steering clear of talking about Rebecca because I know how people are really intense when it comes to her. I’m neutral so I wouldn’t be horribly sad to see her leave. Even if they have it that Rob isn’t the father, I don’t think they could keep her around and have Aaron and Robert reunite. She has to go and ultimately, I think you’re right: I think she’ll die and I HATE that idea. I would prefer to see her leave town with her tail between her legs but I also realize we’re watching a soap so they’re going to go for the extreme and shock value.I think there are really great story potentials for any and all outcomes (minus Seb dying. No no no!). One of which is Aaron learning to accept and love Sebastian. I truly believe Aaron does not hate the baby. He’s incredibly hurt and sad because he’s seeing Robert in a role that he had dreamed of sharing with him: fatherhood. But that doesn’t stop him from rebuilding a friendship with him. I think it’s really telling that it’s Aaron who has been doing the reaching out. Rob has been keeping his distance (well, I mean, as much as one can do when you’re horribly in love with someone) and has let Aaron come to him. Despite having hurt feelings, he is choosing to approach Rob (he did so TWICE!) and be a support to him. He is choosing to tease him (calling him a muppet, AARON, I swear), he’s going to be “amused” at Robert giving parental guidance and he’s going to be horrified to hear what Lachlan has done. And most importantly, he’s going to go to bat for Robert to Rebecca and tell the woman he probably dislikes more than anyone else in the village why she should give Robert a second chance with Sebastian. Aaron is the only one who really truly understands Rob and knows the type of person he is when he loves. Aaron believes in him so much!!At the end of alllllllll this, Robert is going to come out a different man, a broken man. And even if he has Sebastian at the end of this, Aaron will be there for him. He is going to recommit himself to Robert despite all that Robert has done. And because we’re being told Rob is the father, that means he’s going to reunite with Robert and his son. And this most certainly means he’s going to accept and love Sebastian as his own. I think this could be a really beautiful story of forgiveness and acceptance. I’m really looking forward to watching this story play out –whether Rob is the father or not, whether Rebecca lives or dies. There are just so many amazing things that are going to come out of this. I can’t wait.