#does that just cause any hallucination or like shows what they desire?

[ariaste]

listen i've had a 100 degree fever for four days and i have not been able to string any thoughts together except for gently rotating Devil's Minion in my brain and the bleary conclusion i have come to is this:

we know armand is a control freak

we know armand has spooky psychic powers of imposing his desired reality on top of other people's lived realities

the interview is happening despite armand supposedly claiming that he thinks it's a bad idea

Armand gives in to participating in the interview awfully quick. including a theatrical reveal of his true self at exactly the right moment for maximum Drama.

therefore, stay with me here, I will argue that armand DOES ACTUALLY want the interview to be happening. Who else is going to be pushing for it? Louis??? If Louis pushed for something Armand didn't want, Armand would simply wipe it from Louis' mind and move on with his day. He has that power, and yet he didn't USE IT in this case. So that means that the little tissue paper objections are mostly for show and to camouflage his true intentions (see also, though: the scene in Paris where Louis comes in and is playing maitre and Armand offers just a teeny resistance of "oooh but i'm looking at Sam's new pages", so it's a documented behavior pattern). There is one exception, but we'll come back to that in a sec.

So then the questions are: Why does he want it to be happening now as opposed to any other time? What is his motivation for having it happen again at all? What changed between 1973 and now that caused this?

(the rest under a cut bc this is gonna get long and i don't wanna clutter people's dashes too much)

my wild fever hallucination theory rn is that armand (my canceled wife who i stand with) is manipulative and psychopathic enough that he may have looked at daniel at some point in the 1970s and said to himself "you know what, the one thing that I would change about him is if he was like 40 years older, because i'm kinda into that, and also maybe he hates me a little bit, because i'm kinda into that as well" and then set Daniel on the back burner to basically finish cooking into the Perfect Daddy Boyfriend.

so why is he doing this whole charade again? Because the first time Daniel had the interview, the end result was "omg omg omg make me a vampire PLEAAASE", right? So Armand's insane little brain is like "ok, so we do it again, and replicate the same results :) and this time i will win and get everything i want, just like always :))))"

Going back to the tissue-paper objections i mentioned above, the one exception that strikes true for me is when Armand tells Louis that he's lost control of the interview. What control? What control, babygirl? what are you trying to control about this interview? what is the goal that isn't being achieved rn? Are you worried that Daniel seems Jaded and Cynical and Unimpressed nowadays? Are you worried that Louis does not seem to be selling the Allure Of Being A Vampire as effectively as he did back then and that Daniel is not going to beg for it like he used to? Armand is so used to being around people who NEVER EVER CHANGE in hundreds of years and so maybe he has forgotten that mortals do change actually. Oh no. Science experiment cannot be replicated. Results are going awry. PANIC.

this would also explain why he keeps explaining himself to Daniel, censoring the diaries, and lying about his involvement in things. could it be that he thinks Daniel won't play along with what he's supposed to be doing (ie: being deeply into him) if he knows upfront that Armand is Fucknuts Crazy?

that is where he is wrong tho. Daniel thinks fucknuts crazy is irresistibly hot. Daniel "I want BOTH [to survive AND the book] >:\" Molloy, aka Daniel "YOU BOTH FUCKED LESTAT? :DDD" Molloy aka Daniel "Fascinating Boy" Molloy loves mess. he loves mess. he's an investigative journalist who interviews KGB agents and the most dangerous people in the world because he's an adrenaline junkie who sincerely loves the thrill of hanging out with people who might kill him. He has been chasing that high since 1973 (and I use that phrasing intentionally). Every time Armand tries to control the narrative and woobify himself and act like he's not absolutely insane bc actually he's innocent and blameless, he is shooting himself in the foot re: the pursuit of his endgame goals. And that's extremely funny to me. Bc Daniel's love language is "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU [enraptured, intrigued, captivated, fascinated]"

and in conclusion, that's why they're the ship of all time, ur honor. defense rests.

(will this make coherent sense once i'm not sick anymore? idk.)

[rex-shadao]

The Lonely End of Belos

Or why Hunter, Caleb, Evelyn, Lilith, Collector, or anyone that Belos personally wronged didn't get to be the witness to his demise.

I admit, I was a bit unsatisfied with Belos' demise. After all the build up with Caleb hallucinations and Grimwalker bones, I thought he would fall into the graveyard pit, see the ghosts, and realizing all too late it's his fault before he melts into a pile of bones.

Prior to that, before Thanks to Them, I speculated on Belos' fate would be him being hunted down by an angry mob of humans led by Jacob Hopkins believing him to be some kind of cryptid monster either threatening the town... or offer a rare opportunity to get rich on the news. And then he falls apart like an animal.

And when Watching and Dreaming trailer hinted at Belos possessing the Titan, I wondered how they were going to defeat Belos without resorting to revenge or poetic irony (since Belos is this big final boss that the heroes would blow up like with the core). I thought perhaps they would turn Belos into a Palisman tree and make him give back all the Palisman he devoured in a twisted form of redemption. Perhaps they'll remind him of his past and start a mental collapse that causes him to lose control of the Titan as he sees images of Caleb. I was pretty sure Caleb would show up just before Belos dies, giving him the realization that he's damned.

But his actual demise... feels empty. He did fall apart as I expected and there's sense of loneliness in his demise, but... no Caleb. No Evelyn. Nothing hinting to his past. Heck, I don't think the name Philip is even brought up once. It feels like we've been cheated out of a cathartic demise, and I spent the hours since the special aired trying to make sense of this choice and why. Why is there no Wittebane lore.

And ultimately, I make this conclusion:

Belos refused to open up about his past. It's quite telling the Collector spilled everything of his Freudian Excuse from being bullied by the Archivists to being wrongfully imprisoned by King's Dad to his desire for friends and being accepted. Him opening up communications of his insecurities allowed Luz, Eda, and King to empathize and help him. To teach him kindness and forgiveness. To teach him the value of life through death. And through their teachings does the Collector become better and ultimately redeemed.

But Belos? We know he had a traumatic past and a lot of insecurities with his brother. We know he's a lot like Luz and the Collector when he was a child. But unlike them, he never opened up about his insecurities. He forcibly molds them into abstract ideas and rules. For the greater good of humanity. For the good of your souls. He always tries to make it non personal, thinking it makes him selfless and pure.

But what he ends up creating is a caricature of himself. A shallow representation of his former human life. The Hollow Mind portraits released this week on Twitter shows tragedy with the happy memories being free of scratches and burns. Those were the original looks. But in the actual episodes, even the happy memories were scarred and burned. As Understanding Willow reveals, if you burn the memory pictures, you essentially erase them from existence. This means that Belos barely remembers his past. Now that I think about it, Belos never actually used the word brother at any point. Just an old friend. At first, I thought he was trying to avoid triggering trauma memories regarding Caleb's murder, but now I wonder... did he actually forget Caleb was his brother?

Because if he did, then it explains why he never seem to make the connection that Eda and Lilith may in fact be the descendants of Evelyn and Caleb. He only remembers Evelyn's first name but can't remember her face or anything that would link her to the Clawthrones.

And then it hits me. Despite being the big main antagonist of the series... Belos has only one personal connection to our main trio: Luz the Human. Eda, he dismisses her as an Owl Lady outlaw who isn't important in the grand scheme of thing. And King, he thinks it's a weird dog demon, not a baby Titan. But Luz, he's obsessed with because A) she would help him learn the Light Glyph and find the Collector and B) she's the first human he has seen in centuries.

Thus, it is Luz that Belos focuses on the most. It's Luz that Belos wants to form an actual connection since Caleb's death. And when you think about those witnessed Belos' demise... Luz is the only one that Belos has any genuine interactions with. Eda, King, and Raine... they were all background pawns or obstacles, not even worth specializing personal grudges towards like he would with Lilith, Hunter, Evelyn, or even Caleb.

So in spirit, Luz is the last lifeline for redemption and forgiveness. And Belos blew it. He was so obessed with Luz due to her human status but he never gave anything about his past to her (Luz only got Belos' backstory from Masha). He assumes that being human alone is sufficient enough for speaking terms. And he choose the best looking human look for her: A non-broken nose Philip Wittebane. Just as how she saw him in Elsewhere and Elsewhen. The ideal adventurer and hero of the 17th century. He evidently forgot that this bearded Phillip destroyed Luz's respect for him. This Philip lied to her and betrayed her and Lilith. This Philip was not the hero Luz envisioned. After all, the Philip she idolized in the diaries was clean shaven. He could have chosen that form... if he actually remembers that.

And then he sloppily try to make himself sound like he's freed from a curse, sloppily using the term dark magic instead of wild magic, and taking great pains to even say that he did horrible things, even under the excuse of a curse. He has no idea on how to make himself relatable when it's all there within him deep down. He just uses the surface-deep level of relatability and Luz doesn't buy it. And the boiling rain melts away that skin deep humanity, revealing a rotting ghoul barely clinging onto life, screaming of how witches are evil and unforgivable as he crawls to Luz. Notably, he still doesn't give a reason as to why he thinks they're all evil. We all know what it likely is, but Belos never confirms it to Luz.

Belos is virtually on autopilot, repeating the mantra of humans are superior and witches are evil. He never speaks about how Caleb was "stolen" from him by a witch. He never speaks about how Gravesfield taught that witches are evil. His memories almost completely erased by his self-inflicted denial, all he can think of is wiping out witches and saving humanity. A caricature of his former self.

And by failing to swayed Luz, he's completely alone. There is no Caleb now. No Evelyn. No Hunter. No Lilith. No Grimwalkers. No Flapjack. Just Luz whose connection he tries to forge is now a shallow parody because of how much he doesn't understand her at all. But she wouldn't kill him since that would give him a known company at his last moment. Instead he meets his end by those that he doesn't even see as personally important beyond pawns. Though they have a lot of personal grudges against the former Emperor and tyrant, Belos only sees strangers at the end of in his long life.

Philip Wittebane is nothing more than a faded memory of a bygone era. He died with his brother Caleb, regulated to just folklore ghost stories told in Halloween of Gravesfield. To some, they may never really exist in the first place since 1613 is a very long time.

The creature that resembles Philip is just Belos and he is little more but a parody of a man, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

[artist-in-training-wheels]

Nice Nexus AU info!

Hello! Here's the info for my team, Au—Nice Nexus. I might change the name because of the information, but I'm keeping it this way! I've made images to go with it, but I'll have the regular text version under the cut! (I also color-coded the names and certain phrases, mainly because I jump through a lot of pronouns, so it helps keep the info straight!)

Nice Nexus AU

By: Artist-in-training-wheels

This kinda starts when Nexus (Moon at the time) was still grieving Solar’s death. In the episode “What if SOLAR LIVED in VRChat” he wakes up in the theatre, right? Well, we know Dark Sun is insanely good at imitating Sun- so who’s to say that he didn’t just, put a (corruption) chip in Moon that caused him to have that initial hallucination!? The one where Solar lived by Sun died. The only time Moon snapped out of the hallucination was when Monty interacted with him- someone outside the hallucination!

Now, the way I see it, the chip slowly corrupts the user, twisting their desires and morals against themselves until they snap. Once they are at their lowest point, Dark Sun is alerted and approaches the individual, much like he did in “Moon’s New Partnership in VRChat.” I also believe that Dark Sun put a similar chip into Ruin, not as extreme but still holding mild corruption (this is important).

It is also worth mentioning that the flow of time is very… weird in the pocket dimension that they reside in. Sometimes it's years ahead, sometimes it’s a few years behind, and sometimes it lines up with the timeline (the main show). So it’s hard to say how long they’ve truly been there (kinda like the time when Sun and Moon were taken away for a bit- but were actually gone for like… 3 weeks or something like that (according to the Lunar and Earth show)). 

Here’s where things divert the cannon. In my redesigns, Nexus has a wither shard on his nightcap. “For experimentation,” as explained to Dark Sun, who allowed it. However, it turns out that wither corruption can cancel out other corruption! Meaning that after some time, Nexus's sanity started to return! Obviously, he never said anything to Dark Sun, only giving Ruin a wither shard, too—again, “for experimentation.” This causes the mild corruption in Ruin to be undone- proving to Nexus that he was indeed corrupted by Dark Sun (cause at the time, he was in denial about it).

Due to his sanity returning, Nexus has a massive panic/depression spiral because of everything he did/said to his family! He knows there is borderline NOTHING he can do to fix all the damage he’s done in hopes of being a part of their family again, not that he blames them… but that doesn’t mean he won’t help where he can! So he’s made the family each their own personalized drone so that he can keep tabs on his family and find ways to help them!

He can’t do a whole lot like this, but he does little gifts here and there for everyone- a book or two for Sun about magic, some interesting/advanced blueprints (mostly of defensive items) for Moon, any and all info he can find about the astrals to Lunar, different accessories to Earth (but she has gotten a lot of different gifts- that seem to resemble apology gifts…), and Solar… well, he’s still working on Solar’s drone, but he’s already gotten a heartfelt “welcome back” gift… it was his goggles and gloves. He’s also in the process of making Dazzle and Jack’s drone, he’s just trying to figure out the best designs for them!

With that all being said, Ruin ends up being the voice of reason, ensuring that Nexus doesn’t make any sudden appearances and keeps them both under Dark Sun’s radar! He’s done it before; now he just has to make sure Nexus doesn’t get them caught. Occasionally, they’ll send the family a note or two about a possible warning (at least in regards to what Dark Sun is doing), but it isn’t often.

[absurdthirst]

Kinktober 2023: October 26th

Day 26: Tentacles, Demons/Angels, Crying

Ezra (Prospect) x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 759

Warnings: Vaginal sex, mentions of injuries, mentions of oral (male receiving)

|| Kinktober List || MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

The first time Ezra saw you, you were laying on the ground. Some little backwater planet he had been working on. Toiling on. Your right wing, a monstrous thing that was both fearsome and beautiful, had been torn nearly off. Bleeding and raw. An ironic mirror to his own injury. 

He had been hesitant to approach, his breathing a bit labored and his mind telling him that his eyes are playing tricks on him. That or the hooch that is served in the lower levels of the Pug is causing a hallucination. 

Still, even though there are two large, feathery white wings protruding from your back bones, he is curious. Marveling at what manner of creature you are and when he crouched down to see if you were alive, your eyes positively haunted him. 

“Kevva sent, angel.” Ezra groans, sweat beading down the side of his forehead and he pants as he continues to thrust. “This cunt is heaven sent, pardon my pun, but you steal the words right from my head.

A hand, his hand, holds onto the neatly healed folded up appendage. Knowing that it will not hurt you and he likes to touch your wings. To stroke the feather or hold onto them as he fucks into you. In exchange for his kindness, which had been freely given, when you had healed, you had in turn returned to him something that he had sorely missed. His right arm. 

It was like no injury had ever occurred. His hand was perfect, just like you were once your wing was healed. Your eyes roll back into your head, moaning softly as your body takes the quite punishing thrusts. You had been told that humans, some of them could pleasure extremely well and you had found the perfect one. On your hands and knees, rocking forward everytime he buries his cock inside your wet cunt like it's the last thing he will ever do. He might not have stamina like you would have with another angel, but he has passion. That’s everything in this lusty exchange. 

“Filthy.” He grunts, chuckling darkly and twitching inside you. “An angel on her knees for me.” He lets go of your hip with the other hand and slaps your ass. Groaning when you moan and clench down around him again. 

Apart from having wings and being a literal angel, with powers beyond everything that he could imagine, you are surprisingly human. You have the same needs as he does, the same desires. He had been shocked when you had asked him to fuck you. 

Not that he hadn’t immediately jumped on the idea. You had given him his arm back, his primary weapon. It doesn’t hurt that you are gorgeous. He had immediately showed you all the filth he could think of and was delighted when you demanded more. 

“You- you like me on my knees.” You huff, looking over your shoulder, past the folded down wings to see him staring at where his cock is plunging into you. You have found that Ezra enjoys watching his cock fuck into you. Your mouth, your cunt, your ass. Whatever hole he is determined to fuck at that time. 

“Especially with my cock in your mouth, angel.” He groans again, cock twitching deep inside you. “You look positively sinful, gagging on my cock.” He had been delighted to find that angels had a gag reflex that he could train. You were apparently perfect for him. 

You laugh quietly, a sound that Ezra has equated to the most beautiful music. He groans and his rhythm increases, his breaths panting out harshly as he rocks into you, his hips slapping against your ass. 

“Touching heaven, angel.” Ezra hisses. “Especially when you could have any mere mortal you wished and you humbled yourself to allow me to touch you.” 

It’s not exactly true but you can’t convince him of that. You find Ezra exceedingly attractive. Dangerous slightly with his less than stellar morals and the silvery scar on his left cheek. One day you will have to ask how he got such a scar. 

“Ezra.” You moan again, dropping down and unfolding your wings to spread out as you start to cum. A harsh, beautiful flap as your cunt clamps down on him and you soak him with your angelic cum. 

You are an angel, one that has fallen in love with a mortal. You don’t tell him that you’ve abandoned your plan to go back, to leave him. You can’t. Not when Ezra touches you like this. 

[actualori]

do you have any theories about joeys esmp s1 ending? cause ive seen people say different stuff about it (or maybe i didnt and are just imagining it) and i was wondering whether you have any theories about it :3 and if not id love to hear somw of your headcanons about joeys character (or you can answer both of these if you want, im not stopping you)

joeys s1 ending was the goofiest thing i’ve ever seen in my entire life i still cackle whenever i think about it. guy falls through a crack of his burning temple and splits his head open then gets awoken by his capital T Toxic boyfriend then go frolicking around exploding everything and committing crimes and then get married.

realistically, it was probably just a hallucination. there is no way in canon that joey and that fugly burnt rat with horns actually had a healthy happy relationship together and got married

HOWEVER we reject canon jornoth it doesn’t exist to us. i like to think either xornoth saved him and took him to another timeline and they had their little romance there or that was the desired future that xornoth wanted when they got “stabbed” by the rune blade.

(i like the first one better because i love the idea that both of xornoth and scott’s desired life was living happy together more than the second theory)

it may seem messy and complicated to think of both of those options together but considering how weird all the parallel universes and timelines are it can probably make sense

headcanons below

now i have so many freaking headcanons about joey (i have thought up so much about every s1 character regarding their childhood, parents, relationships, cultures, etc) so i’ll share a few (if you want to hear more or anything specific lmk i’ll be very happy to answer)

- there are no trace of any biological family of his. nobody knows where he came from

- he can communicate directly to gods- including aeor and exor- which is what had gotten xornoth interesting in him in the first place

- he’s the only one with the ability to enter and exit the lost empire without getting lost

- lots of gold and jewellery and riches. loves to dress up xornoth and show them off

- very very touchy with xornoth. will always hold their hand or cuddle or drape themself across them and refuses to let go. however he refuses to touch anyone else

- refuses to wear a shirt. it stresses xornoth out whenever he visits rivendell (he’s gotten frostbite many times. he does it on purpose to have an excuse to have xornoth bundle him up to warm him up)

- comes back to life after he dies. it was a gift from the gods. he is “dead” for an hour or so before the totem of undying magic brings him back. it still hurts a ton but his wounds heal quickly. the reason he died during his ending was because his kingdom and temples had been destroyed, causing the magic to stop working

i’ve got so much more but i’d need more specific questions regarding them to be able to think of them

[undeaddollz]

patrick hockstetter analysis hi, i realize there was spelling mistakes on my henry bowers one but i'm really too lazy to go over it all and fix em so if theres some on here too then ignore it! don't come at me for the hypothetical disorders i'm saying patrick may have, i do believe he probably is on the spectrum somehow and i will not listen to anyone who says otherwise.

patrick is SO INTERESTING, the disorders that i suspect he has is possibly CIPA as he doesnt show much reaction to pain and possibly some sort of BPD or autism but im more sure of CIPA. but it's confirmed for him to have solipsism he doesnt think other people or things are real, the reason he killed his little brother avery is because he felt avery was real and his parents were taking attention away from him. he doesnt like deviating from his schedule, he expects dinner to be at the same time, parents to be in bed at a certain time every day but the baby took away from that and so he suffocated avery to death. i believe he also has a sort of god complex as he thinks he decides what happens in the world. he doesnt think him harming people and animals matters because they aren't real anyways and meerly toys for him so he doesnt get bored. we don't get a lot of background on patrick let alone his parents but the movie gives us jack-shit about him. he's obviously a pyromaniac and doesnt seem to have any reaction to pain, laughing when henry hurts him after patrick sexually assaults him. he has a sort of psychosis, he doesn't love anyone besides himself but its not in a narcissistic way. he doesnt really have attachments to anyone, his family could die and he'd just be worried about whats for dinner. he'd only be upset cause it ruins his schedule. He would be upset if bowers gang died but simply because they bring him entertainment and its someone to bully kids with. I feel he probably was subjected to some sort of trauma when he was younger, possibly sexual or some form of neglect. people arent usually born acting how patrick does and all the adults shown in derry seem to be abusive or neglectful. his favorite past time is to torture kids and animals, he enjoys taking their lives, he has a fridge full of tortured animal corpses, mainly cats. since the fridge is his favorite thing it gets used as a factor of his demise, after sexually assaulting henry he goes to his fridge and is killed by pennywise. he loves to spend time at the barrens/junkyard since thats where a lot of the violence happens, those places being frequent bowers gang hang out spots. Bowers gang is scared of him, most adults are too. theres rumors floating around of patricks hobbies so people often let him do whatever he wants as to not agitate him. I dont know if victor and belch exactly know about the fridge as its a little hidden away in the junkyard but henry knows, when patrick teases henry for "letting him" sexually assault him henry shouts "if you fucking tell anyone about this im telling everyone about your fridge and you'll be taken away" or something similar. Henry keeps him around since 1, hes deeply scared of patrick and doesnt want to anger him 2, he also finds ways to entertain henry, helping him blow off steam from the abuse at home on other kids and sometimes animals. henry seems to be a big fan of animals but when he starts to go crazy after patrick dies he shows similarities to patricks behavior, growing violent with dogs and cats and being more murder-driven with his bullying. patrick seems kind of obsessed with henry but it could just be finding henry useful or a good source of entertainment and he can torture henry to end up getting what he wants. patrick is only fueled by his own selfish desires, he has no exact motivation for doing anything, other than him deciding he wants to. psychosis can be drawn out by not sleeping sometimes and maybe patrick could suffer from hallucinations, in the movie it seems he's scared of what he's killed coming back to life but honestly i dont think thats really accurate as i dont think that is something he would think about and he already feels no guilt about it so i think it was just the movie being stupid again. so if he does have hallucinations i think he would be indifferent to them, maybe only being annoyed they arent always at the same time every day.

[akria23]

Suspect / Character Chart Update:

Nobody:

So this week’s episode moved us off the path of Nuth as he claimed that Nant committed suicide - including some possible flashbacks of the body. This moves my Nobody theory - specifically Nobody: Theory A into sus rank 1.

Do I believe that Nant committed suicide tho? No I’m not convinced yet. I do think he’d have a lot of reasons for suicide - which I pointed out the first time I posted - but there’s so many questions left with that option. Where’s the body? Did nuth hide it? Why? What about a suicide note - not everyone leaves one but it seems strange of Nant in particular to not want to get out to his brother what he’d never been able to say while living.

I do think this does move up other aspects of the Nobody theory tho - they confirmed debt collectors so maybe Nant faked his death & went into hiding, or they harmed him. We still have the possibility of psychological break & Nont and Nant being the same person who just suffered a traumatic experience or drug usage that caused a break in his psyche - I still don’t want this the most but I can see it being this cause it is the safer route to end us off with.

Nuth:

Nuth has moved down in the ranks to the number 2 spot. Hes not lower because while he claims that Nant ruined his life and committed suicide all of his flashbacks of Nant so far hasn’t shown Nant be violent or harmful towards him. He’s pictured supportive, sexualized, and a hurt Nant. That’s not to say Nant couldn’t have harmed him or even made his life worse - it’s just a possibility that Nuth isn’t a reliable source even his flashbacks. We’ve seen him have hallucinations so it’s difficult to say what he recalls or sees as 100 proof of things happening or have happened.

Also…did they ever tell us what the bloody hand print was from… If Nant was selling drugs to pay his debt is it the same ppl Nuth is selling for? Theres also these lines or cages placed over Nuth sometimes and I’m not sure if it’s metaphor for criminality or a metaphor for how trapped he feels. There’s still one of two threads they can pull and circle back around to it being Nuth so he stays on the list.

Prom:

It’s still all vibes no evidence. He doesn’t slip, he doesn’t miss. He’s almost the perfect specimen partner wise in the sense that he has an ability to read Nont in a way no other does. He’s not overbearing, or controlling. He doesn’t try to change Nont’s mind after boundaries are set. Anything Nont says he needs or wants, Prom goes along with - an active supporter (plotting, research, giving him the weapon). But that’s the thing, Nont is more honest with him than he is with any other characters - and he has to see the frayed edges but he doesn’t pull Nont back at all. He enables…he’s supporting his descent.

The question I’m lost on is why. Maybe it’s empathy, relatability- I too am sadistic in my way, I too have rage, I wanna kill someone - and because he’s so good at repressing he admires & desires Nont who doesn’t repress who just acts and reacts. And this is what makes them revenge lovers.

But there’s still always that niggle at my brain that reminds me that Prom inserted himself and then had had influence over the case ever since. The show is always highlighting something off when Prom is in the mix - the music change, the aesthetic of the room, the way they position his def in scenes at the Playboyy with Aob & Puen (which I’m sure is to show us how he’s a source that benefits from the competing nature). He still feels like an invisible hand, still feels like he’s playing chess and seeing moves ahead of his lover. There’s so much mystery surrounding him still that’s it’s difficult to move him off the suspect board.

Porsche:

I still can’t tie Porsche into his death so he stays at number 4 ranking but I still wonder if his sugar daddy had anything to do with Nant that would’ve set them into a competitive nature for his resources and therefore enemies…that’s my mind working theories from what the story has given us thus far tho.

[dangermousie]

Farscape rewatch - A Clockwork Nebari, 2x18

This is an ep I love a for a variety of reasons, but one of them is that it focuses a lot on the relationship between Crichton and Chiana, and it’s one of my favorite relationships in the show.

(How can a scene be both heartbreaking and hilarious - but oh, Chiana’s relief. She got used to being part of a group; you really see how much it messed her up having to be utterly on her own before and slowly after joining Moya, she shed enough of her emotional protective layer to not want to be like this again.)

It’s made clear once again that for Chiana, John has in some ways replaced Nerri - her beloved older brother (the two men definitely share the desire and ability to fight the establishment and to lead.) But the thing is, a replacement is a replacement but it’s made so clear in this episode how much Chiana loves and misses her brother - her face as she realizes he’s alive or when she listens to his message has such a wealth of emotion.

Nebari are horrifying and creepy any time they show up and this is no exception - the conformity combined with their horrific contagion plan? Yikes. Farscape is very consistent in every powerful civilization we come across being evil, isn’t it? 

I can’t remember btw if I am hallucinating it, but I think I remember the makers saying that if they got that fifth season they were promised, they’d have made Nebari the villains. Not sure if I am misremembering but I think that would have been a fascinating story.

But yes, I love watching Chiana and John, a quasi-sibling relationship with an edge. 

The scene out of all the scenes in this ep that stays with me is the final scene:

What sticks with me in this scene is that John has both the hard-edged outlook acceptance of the unjust world where you should be happy with at least something, you never get what you want as well as the compassion to comfort the grief this bleak world causes. Crichton can say this because like Chiana, he understands loss. Everyone on Moya does - they have all lost their places, their belonging, their worlds (Zhaan is wanted by her regime, Rygel has been overthrown by his, D’Argo has violated all sorts of taboos by his past match, Aeryn is in shoot on sight by peackeepers territory etc) but none of the rest of them except for John and Chiana have families they love and miss - it is clear that John loves his dad (and sisters) and would love so much to see them again. And Chiana loves and longs for Nerri. They are unique in that as the rest of the Moyans do not have any remaining family or have family they’d rather gut. (D’Argo does have his son but he hasn’t seen him since babyhood so he loves him but he does not know him, unlike Chiana and John who know exactly what and who they miss, what they had and do not have any more, if this makes sense.)

The other thing that strikes me is that this episode echoes the themes of both the season and the show in general - I don’t just mean in the rest of the crew getting a small, unknowing preview of what it’s like to be Crichton (the only way he is not cleansed is for the same reason he survives in Won’t Get Fooled Again - his mind is already claimed) - a passenger in your own body, doing things you yourself would never do (though they do not appear to be conscious of what is happening at least), losing both your mind and volition. 

I mean more in keeping with the theme of the show that staying true to yourself is worth any sacrifice, that it is worth fighting any law, any empire, your own mind, anything - to stay what you think you should be. The happiness induced by Nebari is false peace, not any better than John under Harvey’s control. All the mains fight expectations of their societies - be they peacekeeper, luxan, delvian, nebari etc - whether refusing the basic tenets (like Chiana and Aeryn), fighting the power structure (Zhaan), defying elders’ judgment about piloting readiness (Pilot), or even falling in love with someone you’d normally not supposed to be with (D’Argo.) Even Rygel is very undominar-like. Even Moya gives birth to a warship. And we are not going to get into John. None of them fit, none of them conform. And they fight tooth and nail to stay themselves and they all pay various prices, some of them insupportable, but the alternative is unthinkable. 

Crichton is put through a grinder in this ep and is about to be put through a worse grinder in the last four eps of the season and I want to say how much I appreciate that Farscape, which gives its protagonist so much suffering never ever fetishizes it, aesthetically or emotionally (it does not fetishize it for anyone, actually. Chiana looks horrible tortured here; even someone like Scorpius evokes nothing but pity when he’s tortured later in the show.)

By that I mean when Crichton suffers, he does not do so prettily - he looks like hell because he’s being put through hell and there is nothing desirable about it (it’s not elegant aesthetics of suffering like in a Cheng Yi or a Luo Yunxi drama - which I enjoy quite a lot but is a very specific niche that knows exactly what it’s catering to.) Nor is there anything morally superior it; Farscape rejects the Puritan ethos of perfection through pain.

Suffering does not ennoble Crichton, it does not polish him or make him more worthy. All it does is cause pain. He does not need to suffer to be good, he was already good. All this adds to his character is trauma. There is no glory in it, just endurance. I was mentioning to @andoqin that I find it so interesting how Crichton’s biggest superpowers are actually goodness and ability to endure - the former is the reason he gets the wormhole knowledge and the latter is how he can persevere through all the hells thrown at him - and both goodness and endurance are traditionally female coded virtues. (Side note - how very on brand that the narrative is so much of “road to hell is paved with good intentions” one - ancients were nice to give him a way to go home and he was nice to try to rescue Aeryn, and look what happened - hell happened. If it wasn’t for his knowledge of wormholes, once he escaped from the base, Scorpius would have never paid much attention to him but as is. And of course the final bitter twist ends up being that when he does go home he finds out he does not fit and leaves. Ultimately, since he ended up not wanting to go home, he did not actually need the wormholes; all that knowledge brought him is not fulfillment of his desires but pain.)

But yes, it’s pretty clear that if he stayed on earth and never went through the wormhole he might have been better off - he may have never found out how smart he can be or how strong his will is or how much he can love but he’d have also kept his sanity and his soul uncracked. In any other story, a man who started as an idealistic pacifist would have converted the rest of the Universe to that point of view but not here, here he gets it tortured out of him. (Side note - I love that damage sticks in Farscape. The narrative makes no bones about him being permanently changed and no magic undo button exists for his damage. But it’s a very Meatbun take - where being damaged and changed does not mean you cannot be happy; it’s just that happiness will coexist with scars.)

Oh and also, I do like that Crichton does not look fragile - he looks like an all American guy, built like a football player. And guess what? This does not protect him from being taken apart in every way possible because there is no magic cheat code to avoiding suffering, there is no “type” that is more prone to cruel things happening. His looks or his brains or his goodness can’t protect him. Stuff just happens because it’s outside his control and he can only control how he reacts. I love that Farscape makes no bones he’s permanently damaged - once again very Meatbun (am I the sole person on tumblr who both watches Farscape and reads Meatbun? Hmmm) in that it doesn’t mean he still can’t be happy but the damage doesn’t go away.

PS As dark as this show gets, and it gets very dark, it is also utterly hilarious. This one has many funny moments but this one literally made me choke. 

There are plenty of shows that are very dark and plenty of shows that are very funny. Farscape is close to unique in consistently being both.

[schafpudel]

Epidemiology of the Raven's Blood

Part 0: Prologue

Realistically, the blood does things because it's convenient to the plot of the anime, and no deeper thought needs to be put in than that. However, while it does explain inconsistencies in its writing, it's boring and not fun to my pattern-seeking brain. I like to piece together coherent internal logic to stuff in fiction, even if I know the authors themselves didn't think that hard about it. It's fun to me!

At the same time, Princess Tutu's meta-fictional conceit does give us some wiggle room to borrow the Doylist understanding and smuggle it back into a Watsonian explanation. So...

In-universe, I think, the purpose of the Raven’s Blood can be understood as a plot device to easily convert a separate “character” and their body into a narrative extension of the Raven; that this is why Drosselmeyer would write it into the logic of his story. Bored of a character you introduced previously and want to heighten the stakes? They're a toadie of the Raven now. And when we go a level down in fictionality...

To the Raven, other living things exist to be exploited. The only use you can have, beyond being a meal, is being a pawn who can get it what it wants – and what it wants is to consume. Like some ancient castle-bound vampire or wicked dragon, its power and intelligence are ultimately in service of a simple predatory desire. If you are neither edible nor manipulable, you are simply a nuisance.

Diseases and parasites will manipulate pain and pleasure, fear and love, the body and the brain. But while a real disease or parasite’s goal in psychological and physiological manipulation is to reproduce, to turn the infected into a means by which to spread itself to new hosts... the Raven's curse is uninterested in this. What matters, to the Raven, is that the cursed becomes a minion and a pawn, who can bring its prey closer to its own mouth.

Part 1: Lay All Your Love On Me

Did you know rabies induces spasms of fear and hallucinations in its victims, to get them to bite? That the characteristic fear of water is caused by the virus tightening its victims throats if they even think of drinking, all to the end of preventing the miserable animal from washing away its contagion-rich saliva? It presses levers and pushes buttons of abject misery on the control panel of the animal, on its quest to get what it wants.

One symptom of the Raven’s blood illustrated by Mytho’s progression that fascinates me is pain. This is not simply a magic juice that makes you evil; it is a sickness.

Let’s look at the the scene in episode 19, where Kraehe dances a pas-de-deux with (a clearly pained, unwilling, and unhappy) Mytho to try and convince him to “give in” to the Raven’s Blood and become her prince. She succeeds, causing Mytho to become possessed by Raven!Mytho, who immediately retaliates that he’s owed her love as a prince and that she should love him more, and him alone. (Strange, as Kraehe/Rue has never once indicated that she has any romantic feelings towards anyone else at all…)

What’s odd is what happens immediately after this point. Mytho’s eyes widen, as if what he’s just said has triggered some kind of… realization. We then see him tremble and close his eyes as they shift from pink to gold and back, indicating – as always – either a struggle between Raven!Mytho and “the Real Mytho,”or a struggle by Mytho against the Raven’s blood influence. (It often seems the show isn’t entirely sure whether to treat Raven!Mytho is a corrupted mental state and therefore part of Mytho, or as an intrusive raven persona possessing an agency-less Mytho’s body against his will.)

Mytho, once again under the blood’s control, pushes Kraehe away and stumbles off, clutching himself in a self-hug as he mutters about not having enough love. The crows rejoice as Kraehe looks on sadly.

This is clearly, from context, not just about Raven!Mytho needing to acquire love for sacrifices, because demanding more love from Kraehe would not accomplish that goal. He feels like he needs love, exclusively directed at him, from as many sources as possible. Viscerally, like a hunger or an addiction. And it hurts. The audience is invited to share Rue’s concern and sadness at this pitiful sight.

(This narrative choice *gets* at me a little, because we are not normally meant to sympathize with Raven!Mytho. By and large, he is treated as an unambiguously evil Other that has usurped the “real” Mytho’s body and identity. Yet here, he elicits pity. The monster in the prince is pitiful.)

Here’s the same body language earlier, in episode 15, as Raven!Mytho meets Pique to sacrifice her:

Saying he needs her love immediately reads as an act of manipulation: “only you can give me what I need” as emotional priming for the ritual phrase that will turn her into a willing sacrifice. It also reads as simply a statement that he needs her for the purpose of the sacrifice. (It is, of course, able to be said openly because Pique does not have the context to know this, and accordingly run the fuck away.)

But going back after episode 19, this moment (and several others, on a rewatch) feels a little... re-contextualized. All the above is still true, yes. But it also seems that Raven’s Blood Mytho really does feel like he needs other people’s love, on a visceral, gnawing level.

And the Raven eats love.

'I'm in control of the situation', Raven!Mytho said, sweating, "I'm not getting owned,"

If a real parasite did this - if, say, there was some animal that rewired its victims brains in such a way that they could only feel relief from pain when taking steps towards feeding it or its young - it would be internet famous for its insidiousness. Can't you imagine? There'd be a Bogleech.com article and everything.

As Mytho’s condition progresses towards its final stage from episode 21 onwards, we see these feelings explicitly infect the psyche of Mytho further, shown physically trembling as he describes his disorientation and confusion:

By the end of episode 23, Mytho's... condition has run its full course. Yet the pain continues, and it only gets more obvious that these are spasms of literal, physical pain. In episode 24, Mytho shudders in pain as he screams, clutches his chest, does some agitated fouettés, bows over in pain again, and then jumps out the door as he begs for somebody, anybody to dance with him.

We also get confirmation that the physical pain is accompanied by emotional pain, such as intensified feelings of loneliness:

(And, judging from other scenes, as well as Rue's behavior, intensified jealousy too.)

But Mytho cannot get anyone to dance with him, in this state.

(Saying the Raven "awakened" him, in episode 19 - did he mean the suite of demonic powers that the Raven's Blood has granted him? Did he mean the uncharacteristic charisma, eloquence, and manipulative cunning that burned in him like a fever while under its power? Those boons were all just to make it easier for him to seduce prey to feed the Raven. He loses them all once he's outlived that purpose.)

(No need for the infected slowly lure prey in with a silvered tongue and honeyed charms when they have a big strong beak to peck hearts out of chest, after all.)

He is no longer useful as a lure for prey.

His only remaining use to the Raven is as food himself.

Part 2: Serving Your Heart On A Platter

(In its own post on account of the image limit.)

For now, though, our conclusions:

1. Mytho's life is terrible. It is known.

2. Rue probably suffers from magically and emotionally induced chronic pain!!! and has her entire life!!!

Thanks for coming to my Lecture. See you next time for Part 2.

[dazais-guardian-angel]

I hate to nitpick the Atsushi hallucinating scene in the new episode cause it was SO well done otherwise, but I'm still really sad that they cut out Francis being there. Like... it's not entirely necessary, I guess, but it just adds so much to his character and to the scene itself?

The Francis in Atsushi's mind is this looming, intimidating presence, because Atsushi did of course fight against him, he was his enemy at one point, but I think it undeniably says a lot that he's even included here at all.

I'm pretty sure I saw this discussed back when this chapter first came out, but while everything Atsushi's hallucinations say to him are framed as negative, putting him down, they can also be read as letting him know that the burden of responsibility for making such a huge decision isn't on him (hence why he decides to let Fukuzawa decide instead, because he can't make THE choice, but he can still choose to act to let someone else decide, and not simply do nothing), and Francis is no exception in this regard. Since he's naturally haughty and arrogant in his personality, this fake version of him doesn't at all feel out of character, coldly saying that "nobody expects anything of you", but again, I think this line especially can also be read as "you are not expected to do anything". In that way, it feels more reassuring, and maybe even dare I say kind -- the fact that Atsushi even considers him important enough of a figure in his life to think of what he would say to him in this moment means that he counts Francis among his allies now. Yes, they didn't get along at first when Francis lied and told him that he only wanted to revive Margaret just so she could kill Hawthorne (because god forbid he actually admit out loud that he cares about people, smh), and obviously because of the whole almost burning Yokohama down and trying to kill him and Akutagawa thing lol, but I'm pretty sure Atsushi changed his mind about him after he saw the state Margaret was in, and recognized how much Francis cares about her and wanted her to be alright. He probably still remembers him talking about his desire to bring back his daughter and save her and his wife, too. The guy still probably isn't someone Atsushi would want to hang out with and be buddy-buddy with during his free time lmao, but the airheaded vain old sport still has a good heart, deep down, and I think Atsushi has seen this by now, because he's a kind person, and so I think it speaks volumes that he unconsciously looks to him for advice here. Francis is just a really good and underrated character, and this is such a small but meaningful moment that shows his development so well, the only moment with him we've gotten or any of the Guild really in such a long time, so it makes me sad to see this cut 💔

I also just feel like not including him kind of weakens the impact of Akutagawa's appearance here?? Like, there's a progression of the order of people Atsushi hears/sees in this scenes: first, people from the ADA sans Dazai, who are all portrayed as on the same level, because he cares about them all equally, aside from I guess Kyouka (again, sans Dazai, the most important person to him). Then, there is Francis, and not to say that Francis is more important to Atsushi than the ADA, obviously not, but he's one of the last to appear because he used to be his enemy, and so he commands much more of a presence, has more of an impact -- but at the same time, like I said, it's complicated: he's not really his enemy anymore, but something between a rival and a friend, and so for that reason his words carry more weight. He is someone Atsushi, logically, shouldn't trust, after what he did to him in the past, and yet he does, because things have changed since the Guild arc, and he knows he can count on him to be there for him and the ADA now.

And then, after him, there is Akutagawa. Who is basically exactly the same as everything I just described for Francis, but times one hundred. Of course Akutagawa would be last. Of course, if there's someone Atsushi would simultaneously and paradoxically be both intimidated by and yet comforted to hear their advice because of their tumultuous history together, far more than Francis, it would be Akutagawa. The progression of ADA members > Francis > Akutagawa in that order gives Akutagawa's appearance much more weight imo than just going straight to him from the ADA members, especially with the specific framing of him standing in line behind Francis to judge/advise Atsushi.... it's just much more powerful, and I wish they'd kept it like this, for both Francis and Aku's characters.

[so-i-grudgingly-joined-this-site]

Dream doesn't seem to have any good qualities at all unlike his siblings. He doesn't care about people, he's cruel, ruthless and selfish. He blames others for his problems and he doesn't care about those that live in the Dreaming.

Did... Did Desire send this in? 😂 Okay, I'll try and tackle this in three parts: 1) How does he compare in "good qualities" to the other Endless, 2) when does he actually show any good qualities, and 3) addressing the blaming others/lack of care for his subjects.

Note that there are some later-comics spoilers ahead, since I had to pull some examples from there. I have no idea how far you are in the story, so I couldn't limit examples to a specific non-spoiler time frame.

So, to address point #1, it kind of seems like the Endless in general lack a lot of redeeming qualities.

Destiny and Death are truly neutral in everything. Death gets good PR, basically, because she's friendly, but she's still ultimately neutral. Honestly even her friendliness gives me "really good at customer service" vibes rather than feeling like a sign that she'd actually be friendly or nice to anyone in particular.

Desire doesn't do anything especially heroic that we see; the best they do is giving Tiffany their coat when she escapes the burning strip club in Brief Lives. They do save Dream via Alianora in Overture, but even then it's with a nasty caveat. In addition, Desire's the one behind all the Walker family's supernatural problems. Heck, Desire only had the newer generations of Walkers so they could selfishly use them in their plans against Dream. In comics canon they're also a rapist.

Destruction's whole deal is running away from every problem--which indeed comes across as sensible compared to his siblings. He mostly just likes being left alone with his cooking and bad art. But, he has no qualms whatsoever about killing innocents in order to keep running away.

Despair... we don't really get to see her do much so I think she falls under the "neutral" category too.

Delirium is too out of it to really do much intentionally, and what we *do* see her do intentionally is reckless driving and giving an eternal spiders hallucination-curse to the traffic cop who tries to stop her. Her irrational determination to see her brother continues even after it's clear it's actively causing people to get hurt. She doesn't seem to care about people for sure.

So, like. This entire family sucks. I'm not sure I'd say Dream is particularly worse, we just happen to see more of his issues because he's the main character.

Okay, now on to point #2. He does indeed care about others, on occasion, and also has unambiguously heroic moments.

In terms of "caring about others", he's the one who tries to call off the road trip in Brief Lives when he realizes that Destruction's alarms are killing people (although he doesn't find out Destruction is behind the deaths until Death forces him to continue the road trip for Delirium's sake). He seems highly disturbed by Ruby's death in particular, which is part of why I was so peeved at The Sandman Companion giving HIM the blame for it.

He's also canonically good with children; it's just adults he's terrible with. He's nice to the girl on the plane in Brief Lives, he entertains a group of children on a dream-adventure when we see him going about his duties in The Kindly Ones, and Calliope notes in The Wake that his issues with Orpheus apparently didn't start until Orpheus grew up. In Overture he's also kind and protective toward the alien girl Hope.

As for "heroic" moments... okay, I really had to think for some of these, but they ARE there.

Rescuing Calliope is probably the most unquestionably "heroic" situation he's in, since he was not the cause of the situation in the first place, and also has nothing to gain by helping. But he does help her, nonetheless.

Also, he takes hundreds of serial killers off the streets by stripping them of their beliefs at the Cereal Convention. It's hard to say that wasn't a positive move. Plus, one of the reasons he dislikes The Corinthian could be that Cori was causing so much harm to people in the first place.

Even before his big fishbowl time-out, Dream tells off Hob for participating in the slave trade and disapproves of slavery. (I'm going to ignore what The Sandman Companion says about that here...)

He helps Marco Polo out of the Soft Places desert, even though he himself had just barely escaped the fishbowl and wasn't sure if he had enough power to save both himself and Marco.

In my favorite issue ever, Fear of Falling, he gives Todd the advice he needs to get over his crippling fears in both the real world and the dream world.

Also, his treatment Nuala is a good indication that he's not the worst. Nuala gets gifted to him as a slave, to do "whatever he pleases" with... and his first instinct would be to reject such a gift entirely, but since he is bound by the fae's customs to accept any gift, he just basically lets her live in his castle rent-free. She takes up cleaning so she has something to do; he didn't even ask her to do that! His only demand is that she not use her glamour. If he were truly as cruel and uncaring about consent as some analyses (including parts of The Sandman Companion) would have you believe, it's doubtful that he'd treat an intended sex slave that way.

(Of course, if I were being uncharitable, I could point out that non-glamour Nuala is not conventionally attractive, and it could be something about him only being able to respect a woman if she's not sexually attractive to him... but I'm *trying* to be charitable to Morpheus here, for once)

And now for #3: Not caring about the Dreaming residents and blaming others for everything.

Admittedly, in the comics it is harder to tell specific instances about caring for the Dreaming residents, but there are a few. A big one is that he granted Lucien's wish to become a librarian rather than staying as a raven. Another is Abel's story about how he came to live in the Dreaming; Dream offered it to him as a gift, and when he was lonely he also brought Cain and gave Cain a house as a gift toward Abel.

I've been trying to keep this to the comics-universe for consistency's sake, but the show-universe definitely gives way more examples about him caring about his subjects. He gives Goldie to Cain and Abel to replace their gargoyle he had to absorb, he clearly cares about Jessamy and cries over her death, and he seems more upset about his subjects abandoning the realm as a personal abandonment instead of just a "they're my citizens so they should stay here" type deal. Of course, he also granted Lucienne her wish to become a librarian here as well.

And as for blaming others for everything... whew. That's a big one. Because even though he may have done that on some significant occasions (Nada being the biggest one that we see), ultimately, he ends up blaming HIMSELF for everything to an unreasonable degree. I actually won't discuss further examples on this one because it would be massive ending spoilers, but yeah, suffice it to say he overcorrects on that front.

So yes, for Morpheus, I think I'd paraphrase a line from Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) that I think describes him well: He's an asshole, but not 100% a dick.

[tabithatwo]

Ella Purnell I'M IN YOUR WALLS..... I WANT THAT MOMENT WHERE SHAUNA GETS HER BACK TO BE IN THE FINALE PLEASE GOD. LET'S MANIFEST IT. YOU'RE SO RIGHT THEY ARE SETTING IT UP. THEY HAVE NOT JUST DROPPED THAT STORYLINE THANK FUCK I WAS SO WORRIED THERE FOR A SEC. JACKIE HAUNTING SHAUNA IS SO UNBELIEVABLY CRUCIAL IT CANNOT LITERALLY JUST DISAPPEAR IT WOULD MAKE NO NARRATIVE SENSE WHATSOEVER!!!! I need to calm down but I do think, even if I dislike the creative choice due to my Jackie Bias, that it does make sense for Shauna to temporarily lose the ability to hallucinate her after cannibalizing her and thus feeling the absence of her physical body. Jackie is inside her now but she can't see her so it's not as easy as projecting that false image of her being alive onto her corpse like she was before. Actually kind of excited to see what will allow Shauna to conjure her up again.... In my mind the Jackie we've seen thus far truly was a hallucination because she was so clearly vocalizing Shauna's subconscious desires BUT I desperately want them to actually communicate. I want Shauna to see Jackie and have a conversation with her and for it to genuinely feel like Jackie's ghost. Need Jackie to be tangible I miss my girl so bad. I know she's got shit to say LET HER SPEAK! I know you might not answer this ask but I'd love your thoughts !!!!

ELLA HAS BEEN TRYING SHE'S BEEN LIKE HEYYYYYYY YELLOWJACKETS LET ME OUT OF MY CAGE I WOULD LIKE TO PLAY JACKIE TAYLOR MORE which is why it is so frustrating to me like DAMN i am in the walls of the showtime execs who didn't wanna pay for her ass and/or showrunners who didn't wanna use her WHATEVER. my biggest fear is the lack of her presence (ella or not!) in 2021 HOWEVER i think that this show is very WILLING to do a thing i don't love but need to get on board with i guess, which is completely reshape the way the adults interact with things based on what we're seeing unfold in 96 (nobody come explain narrative storytelling to me PLEASE i beg you, i've learned to give so many disclaimers that i Understand Things now cause BOY do people want to educate you, i understand pulling focus to a theme i pinky promise!!! i just think that, partly because of all the other characters and storylines they crammed into 21, they shift to a degree that Lacks The Level Of Character Continuity That I Desire, okay it is a personal PREFERENCE, if you don't care about that i am SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!) sorry anon, for the obligatory pls know i understand things aside. NOW 96 jackie. yes yes yes agree!! meat shed jackie that we've had was hallucination, with near 100% certainty. i think that if they're planning on delivering on all the threads they start to unravel in this show (which doesn't always happen in any show so i am cautious in my optimism) they have got to do something with 1x10. the cabin guy presence in the dream realm is really a firm suggestion that there are ghosts happening. laura lee can be written off as a dream they would have, but he is NOT. now i DO think they're putting way too much effort into this dream realm to NOT have it be developed or mean something, and i think that the separation between everyone else in jackie's death dream and cabin guy and laura lee coming in and welcoming her is pretty concrete. there is...whatever the fuck the uncanny valley versions of the yellowjackets are (i think they're "it" playing tricksy games personally) and the Actual Dead (cabin guy, laura lee, jackie). SO ALL THIS TO SAY yeah. i think there is real potential for them to pick up that thread and establish ghost jackie. i think there is also potential for her and shauna to communicate. i think PERSONALLY (no one come to my asks to tell me this is stupid i literally cannot handle you today okay give a girl a break i beg) that there's a very good chance that by the end of the show shauna in the 21 timeline sees/communicates with/(joins?) ghost jackie, whether she gets to see her in 96 tl or not. these are my thoughts they have diverted maybe from your point and if so i am so sorry lol along those lines i have RAGING adhd, so when you say i might not answer i hope it isn't because i haven't responded to an ask you've sent me before but if it is i promise it isn't personal! this goes to anyone else too, like i really have 17 things happening at once at all times and i drop the ball sometimes lol but know that i love to hear people's thoughts <3 <3

[ministrationz]

azula's psychosis

now that azula in the spirit temple's release is coming soon, i thought i'd talk a little about my thoughts on azula's psychotic break in the show and how it's handled in the comics.

although we aren't given any indication as to whether or not azula had been struggling with psychotic symptoms before the events leading to azula's coronation, let's just assume that this started only when it was made visible to the audience.

although azula does treat her friends very poorly at times, these issues stem from her believing her mother never loved her and her father never truly loving her. ozai controls everyone through fear, even his children. while this doesn't excuse azula's treatment of ty lee and mai, i think it shows that azula doesn't have a good understanding of what a healthy relationship is like. when azula's friends stop following her every word and through their betrayal show that they aren't afraid of her, azula's view of herself and of her relationships collapses and she loses the only people in her life that aren't ozai. i think this was the beginning of her starting to lose her grip on reality, because her core understanding of how both her relationships and the world works had been completely undermined.

when ozai chooses to leave her in the fire nation while he goes to essentially wipe out the earth kingdom, another chip (and perhaps the final one) in azula's confidence and sense of identity is created. although i would not argue that all of azula's actions throughout the show are driven by a desire to please ozai (i think azula enjoys feeling like she has control and that she's winning. she was also deceitful to her father whens he said zuko killed the avatar and raises her voice at him whens he leaves her in the fire nation), i think azula definitely values his opinion of her, and she put in all the work throughout the show envisioning a specific outcome for herself. azula constantly strives for perfection, and her father leaving her behind fundamentally goes against her idea of what the perfect outcome was. furthermore, her father choosing to leave azula with the lackluster excuse that she would be "fire lord" in his stead demonstrates to her that not only did ozai never really care enough about azula to grant her the "honor" of finally concluding the 100 year war with him, but it shows that all her efforts were not been enough to secure ozai's "love". the perfection she strives for so desperately, a key part of her identity, is ripped from her grasp at the last moment.

we see more evidence of azula's struggles with feeling loved and understand what love is during azula's psychotic break, when she sees her mother in her room. her hallucination of ursa tells her that she shouldn't control people through fear, and azula questions what choice she truly has. when ursa asserts that she doesn't fear azula, she loves her, azula reacts in anger. azula doesn't understand how to love people, and she doesn't feel like people can love her. this sense of repressed isolation, caused by both her mother's favoritism for zuko as a child and by her father's generally bad parenting, has haunted her for most of her life, and is finally culminating when she feels that she's completely alone. her mother, her father, her brother, and her two best friends have abandoned her.

azula's sense of identity is completely shattered. cutting her hair is symbolic of her failing to achieve perfection, and of her losing control on both herself and her situation. her deep-rooted feelings of being unlovable reach a boiling point, and the overwhelming sense of isolation causes a break from reality. loneliness and isolation both increase the risk of psychosis and aggravate the symptoms of psychosis even further. we see these symptoms culminate before azula even hallucinates her mother, when she becomes increasingly paranoid of her servants, and li, and lo, and starts banishing them over the most minor of issues. it isn't surprising that once she's pushed essentially everyone around her out of her life that she finally starts having hallucinations.

based on what happens in the search, we can see that these hallucinations continue for years after they start. zuko locks her in an asylum (which clearly only makes her worse) and she starts believing that her mother is collaborating with everyone around her to ruin her life. although i won't go into zuko's decision to put her in the asylum because i think it goes beyond the scope of this post, it's clear that the isolation has not helped her at all. it isn't until azula is actually able to confront ursa in person that her state of mind improves, because someone else (her mother) acknowledges that she didn't feel loved enough.

although i still think azula is struggling with many of the same issues in smoke and shadows (and most likely will continue to struggle with them in azula in the spirit temple), i think it's safe to say the worst of her psychosis is mostly gone. she has people in her life again, although we haven't seen enough of her interactions with them to see whether or not her patterns of behavior have changed. i have a feeling azula's redemption (if it happens) will require her acknowledging and trying to move past the issues that led to her psychotic breakdown.

i think a lot of people disliked how azula was treated in the comics (the asylum), which is understandable. imagery like straightjackets can be very upsetting to some, and for good reason. i personally did not have much of an issue with it because i felt like it was framed as a negative thing that happened to azula and the wrong decision by zuko. regardless, i do find azula's psychosis overall to be very relatable in almost every way, so i may be a bit biased, but i think it's one of the better representations of psychosis in media. the sympathetic lens azula is framed through definitely helps. there's a lot of issues in the fanbase with people calling her "crazy" or boiling her down to just her breakdown, but given that azula was a secondary villain, mental illness is overall poorly understood, and azula is a woman, this is unfortunately bound to happen.

overall i think her psychosis was a necessary step in her character to humanize her and to hopefully lead to her redemption. let me know if you have any other thoughts!

[sparrow-orion-writes]

if you still do the pride month themed oc asks:

3. How did your OC discover themself? Did something cause them to question, or they always know?

6. How does your OC feel about labels? Theirs, or in general?

7. Is there something thaz could question their identity? What?

for any oc of your choice hehe

I love talking about my characters, and I love talking about pride, so! endless questions always acceptable. I'm going with Ari because I love him and also because I'm writing book 2 a lot atm.

Ari is biromantic and asexual, possibly demisexual, or an asexual who likes to give but not receive. He is also transgender.

How did your OC discover themself? Did something cause them to question, or they always know?

Ari has never felt a particular affinity in either direction, for a large part of his life it was just something he didn't think about. He was very much focused on every other element of his life. When he did have feelings for someone, he honestly didn't even process them as romantic feelings at first because the sexual attraction wasn't there. It never would be there for him, either. It wouldn't be until his mid-20s that he would really clue himself in that he actively doesn't desire sex.

During the books, though, he does discover elements of sex that he enjoys. He is very forthcoming about the fact he doesn't like being touched - even non sexually, he finds it overstimulating, he doesn't like the feeling of holding someone's hand or being hugged without time to prepare, and absolutely loathes crowds.

But, there are some things on the more giving side that he enjoys, even accidentally turning Edward on because he was practically using him as a human stim toy...we've all been there.

As for being trans, it was always there at the back of his mind, but he had a dream where he was a man and it haunted him so long that he hallucinated the voice of the goddess coming down to tell him to get the hell out of his little cult town and be free. And so he left, at 16.

How does your OC feel about labels? Theirs, or in general?

Indifferent. Ari isn't very social and doesn't tend to make new friends or meet very many new people - and his sexuality is very much private to him and his partner.

In the world in general, the labels still exist but very few people use them outside of situations it would be needed. It's fairly common and normal for there to be an even spread between straight, gay, bi, etc.

Having said that, Ari doesn't really have the language to explain his sexuality in that sense. A lot of that old world knowledge didn't make it through to the present. The same happens with April, who is aromantic, and January, who is aroace. They both generally self-describe because this is important to them and they're both open to discussing it.

Ari isn't, though, Ari doesn't want words to his experiences and is a very private person. He finds it really difficult to talk about his life, and the person he is.

So whilst April describes himself as "loveless," or "less inclined to marry," and January explains he is "uninterested in the workings of the body as much as the raw material of the mind," (hello can someone spit that sheer poetry at me? Thanks), a lot of the context for Ari's sexuality comes from his avoidance of speaking about it. Or, like, other people's input.

In a conversation between Ari and Eli, he explains that he dislikes the company of most people, which makes it difficult to marry. When the topic of sex is even fleetingly mentioned, he completely throws the conversation away, showing that he really is quite uncomfortable talking about it.

In another conversation, Eli mentions that Ari doesn't pick up on social cues very easily, which makes him more anxious than he lets on, explaining why Ari hyper-emphasises his learned behaviours. Neptune then points out that she knows because she tried to hit on him for two years straight and he wouldn't have noticed if she'd spray painted it on his house.

But when it comes down to it, Edward asks Ari if he'd ever date a man and Ari - bless his soul - basically goes "I don't particularly think gender is a factor in how much I don't want that."

As for being trans, both Ari and Edward being trans is revealed in relative closeness to each other, and neither of them use the term "transgender."

Edward describes himself very typically as "being born one way, and wanting to look another," explaining that he's on testosterone. Edward uses solely he/him pronouns but he is happy with some of his more feminine characteristics.

Ari, here, describes himself as "born a man, in every way except body." in an earlier version, he explains that he could see his mind as being female and his body being male, and some parts of him reflect each - which would probably put him closer to being nonbinary but, hey, we'll see how that turns out together.

Is there something that could make them question their identity?

Short answer: Edward, and new information.

Long answer: Over the course of the story, Ari engages in a sort of shaky trial-and-error with his own boundaries. Largely because he receives new information about himself that he hadn't quite processed before. And that's that he actually does not dislike Edward's company, but, even worse, actually feels like he can learn from Edward.

From there Edward gently coaxes him through the stages of un-repressing his emotions, and that reveals more new information, and so on.

[imadhatt3r]

I'm thinking waaay too much about what pokemon would be the partner of which DS character so screw it, I'm writing it down

Sam- Dewott: A grumpy otter? Like that's just perfect for him, come on.

Lou- Victini: Okay hear me out- I usually don't like assigning legendaries to characters who are just normal people, but DS2 is definitely implying that there's more going on with Lou than we think. Victini is cute, playful and somewhat childlike, just like Lou, not to mention more powerful than it looks like. I also like that victini is the "lucky charm" and victory pokemon just like Lou is to Sam, due to protecting him in BT zones, and I like that it's associated with a lucky star, shining bright, just like Lou does in Sam's life 🥺 and it has these silly little wings like Lou's shirt in DS2 🥺

Bridget- Mismagius: I can see Bridget having a ghost type in general, and mismagius fits design-wise the most. Mismagius can control people's minds and give them hallucinations, which would fit the way chiralium works on people and her role as the leader of the UCA. They can also put people to sleep and lock them in a dream world, which kinda reminds me of DOOMs, and we know she's partially responsible for it existing in the first place.

Die-Hardman- Arcanine: Loyal and devoted, just like he was to Bridget and her dream of uniting America. It's also very powerful and respected, like Die-Hardman is as the president and even before as Bridget's right hand. Plus it's a dog pokemon, one that's commonly associated with warfare and law enforcement in-universe, so it fits his past as a soldier and his political career.

Deadman- Togepi: I think that him having the literal "baby pokemon that's still in its eggshell" would be a cute nod to his association with BBs, since togepi is literally the most baby of all baby pokemon. Maybe once he forms a bond with Lou it can evolve into a togetic, to show his own personal growth. Alternatively I can see him having a blissey since again, it's like THE doctor/nurse pokemon, so he'd have a fully-evolved form to show his status.

Amelie- Jirachi: I think that she is one of the examples where having a legendary is justified, plus jirachi isn't even a legendary, it's an even rarer mythical pokemon, so it fits her being a being that's even larger than life on Earth. Jirachi is associated with space and stars, so once again, something larger than Earth, and it's a nice parellel with Lou's victini. Jirachi is also known for granting wishes, and Amelie's choice leans on either fulfilling the universe's wish to cause the extinction, or Sam's wish to keep the world going. It's also dormant for long periods of time, just as the extinction events are separated by thousands or milions of years. There's also it's signature move, doom desire- Explains itself, really.

Heartman- Amaura: Any fossil pokemon would fit, but amaura nicely reflects the snowy mountains Heartman lives in. It's said that amauras aren't expected to live long in the modern, warm environment, but the cool mountains seem like just the right place for one to thrive. Sadly, amauras in general are physically fragile and have a lot of weaknesses in battles, so it fits Heartman's ill heart and his own health issues. Sidenote, but I can see him having a huge, fancy aquarium with luvdiscs as his pets, just because he enjoys his own heart motif so much 😭

Mama and Lockne- Umbreon and Espeon respectively: Look, I know that eeveelutions are kinda basic, but hear me out- They both start out as eevees, so I believe it's a nice way of potraying them as twins. Lockne is painted as the more sociable one, a leader of her community who has a husband and wanted to have a baby, so I think that she'd have a day-based espeon. Mama is more focused on her work as an engineer and is content with being single and not having children, so the nocturnal umbreon fits better- I can see her working up to the dead of night. Both umbreon and espeon have a cosmic theme (moon and sun), and the sisters were named after two lakes that were created when a meteorite fell to Earth and split in two. Umbreon and espeon are also, imo, associated with intelligence and grace, which I think both sisters have.

Fragile- Zebstrika: In general I feel like Fragile would have an electric type pokemon- I thought about a ghost type, but electric pokemon have that playfulness and energy that ghost types often lack. They're often speedsters that hit hard and have weak defenses (aka they're fragile) but they also only have one weakness (they don't break that easily). Zebstrika is fast and powerful, plus it's a zebra, which brings to mind horseback mail carriers to reference Fragile Express. It's black and white with blue eyes, so it fits Fragile's black clothes with blue accents and her fair skin and hair. I can also see her having a more carefree and happy blitzle in DS1 that then evolves into a zebstrika in DS2, to show off her growth and her new more involved leadership role, since zebstrikas are often leaders of packs of blitzles.

Higgs- Cofagrigus: Yeah, yeah, not very creative I know, but if it fits so well then why change it? Cofagrigus, of course, is based on a sarcophagus, aka ancient Egypt, aka Higgs' interest. Cofagrigus is said to be a human that has forgotten all of its memories, kinda like how Higgs transitioned from a normal human to Amelie's servant. They also enjoy eating gold nuggets, which can nicely tie in with all the gold Higgs wears and his association with chiral crystals. They swallow humans that get to close and turn them into mummies, so it's kinda like Higgs killing people and turning them into BTs for Amelie to control. And, well, he literally comes out of a sarcophagus in the DS2 trailer.

Cliff- Houndoom: Like Die-Hardman, a dog-like pokemon shows off his loyalty and devotion, but the addition of dark type ro houndoom shows the price he paid for it. Houndooms are, like I've said, dark types, to show off his associations with the Beach, but they're also fire types like arcanines, Die-Hardman's pokemon. They have a skeleton motif to tie back to Cliff's skeleton soldiers and his own death, plus they are usually seen leading packs of houndours, their pre-evolutions, showing Cliff's leadership over his squad. Houndoom's howl is said to come from the grim reaper and the burns from their fire are said to never burn, so it fits with Cliff's anger and how dangerous he is since he came back from the dead.

[explosionshark]

Okay so bs4/as1 has been a bit hit and miss for me so far (I've generally been watching one Buffy episode followed by one Angel episode whenever I sit down to watch and I've not often had a double bill of hits, but also never gotten a double miss so far so it's not I'm not having a good time even the misses have some stuff I like) but I watched I Will Remember You last night and it was such a banger I loooove the Bangel tragedy and it was such a good one. I watched Pangs right before and I was thinking wow they brought back Angel for this episode (this had so much baggage there was stuff I liked in it but oof)? But it was worth it I guess to get Buffy into Angel for the following one. I kinda wish In the Dark hadn't happened though cause it kinda cheapens the Angel being human in the sun thing by having him be in the sun already just four or five episodes ago and its way better in this one. I thought it was gonna just be hallucinations for a bit when he and Buffy hooked back up, there was no way that could be allowed in the timeline even if Angel vamped up again, but resetting the clock is way better, should've realised from all the clocks they were showing. It was just a real good Angel/Buffy power hour played all the hits, doing what they do best. I ship Bangel primarily in the sense that I love to see that tragedy aspect of it, no desire to see them together long term just burn bright, fast and break each other's hearts. And since it was a heavy crossover episode Buffy and Angel can share the crown of favourite episode yet across Buffy's s4 and Angel's s1.

Spike being fully into his loser era is great I can really get behind that. The Initiative at first glance I thought this is a bit goofy dunno if I'll buy this and then Walsh was the director of it as well as Buffy's psychology lecturer and I decided yes this is just goofy enough to get behind. Riley's alright he's not really got enough meat yet to get me into him yet but the duelling secret identities thing he'll have going with Buffy should be fun, I do find it kinda funny that now that we know who they are the Initiative goons just never wear masks anymore.

I thought Wild at Heart was real good but its wild to me that this feels like the first actual episode about Oz and its about him cheating on his girlfriend, killing the person he cheated on her with and then leaving forever (there's extenuating circumstances but still), wild, also kinda sad there's no more werewolf episodes cause somehow those costumes were getting even more ropey and I was interested to see how much worse they'd get. This was also a day where I got two hits with the Bachelor Party being just a really a fun Doyle episode.

Other hits I've had Room with a Vu, great Cordy episode her insisting to the ghost that she can't scare her cause she's from Sunnydale and refusing to give up on such a good place to live was incredible, and that scene with her talking about how she wants to stop being punished great stuff, and I Fall To Pieces, psychic limb detaching surgeon was wild and unsettling, I also really enjoyed Melissa's work as the victim. Admittedly, Angel is leaning very heavy into the damsel trope now that they don't have to write a show with a female lead. Oh yeah also it does feel a bit like they're playing fast and loose with the whole sunlight thing I feel like Angel's been in sunlight a fair few times this show.

Honourable mention to Fear, Itself, it's got some good stuff but largely it suffered from me thinking its not on the level of the s1 fear episode "Nightmares" and not as fun as the s2 "Halloween", but I didn't hate it by any means just didn't quite hit. And also its not fair to it but I thought going towards the climax it was either gonna be a that the Demon didn't want to be there either (hence saying "Release me" all the time) or that it was gonna be an Anya knowing him from her demon days thing so when it got to oh the demon's just tiny while fun felt like a bit of an anticlimax to what I wanted which isn't really the episode's fault.

Now Pangs, Sense and Sensitivity and Beer Bad those were hard misses. Pangs and Sense and Sensitivity, Pangs at least felt more like a fumble (Buffy sideplot about wanting a good Thanksgiving was also fun) while Sense and Sensitivity felt more intentional with it going hard into if only lawyers didn't get in the way of us beating suspects we could catch so many more criminals. Beer Bad on the other hand just not good (I was admittedly primed for this though I had my vague recollections of that great Sarah Z video essay on that time Buffy made government propaganda, so I knew going in it was not a well received episode) "My brother in law is a warlock" and then just moving past it is a GOAT explanation behind a plot and it was at least goofy and Buffy got to beat Parker with a stick.

Other minor things, Anya's just solid gold she's in the same vague area Cordy was for most of her Buffy run time (which is fitting considering she was introduced as someone who could steal Cordy's life and is now dating her ex) where she can just show up say anything, and its a winner. And I love the infrequent appearances of Harmony just redecorating in her lair she's basically inherited. Also feel like there's not been many cold opens of just slaying Vampires, which I guess fits with the Initiative capturing a bunch of them and storing them under the university. Also also I saw there's episode coming up where Cordelia is magically pregnant and I remember that Angel does not do well when its cast get pregnant so I'm filled with a sense of looming dread.

YESSSS okay. i will remember you is a great episode for folks who ship bangel in that particular way. for me - i love what they mean for each other and the role they play in each other's lives. i think they're just a fun, dramatic, supernatural version of the classic great first love. someone you outgrow, but you'll always love somehow. and i will remember you nails that so well because like - it shows them at their best, their passion and devotion to each other, and also why that's not enough to keep them together.

i'm definitely sympathetic to angel's choice at the end, his reason for undoing things and giving buffy up, but it's precisely why they don't work for me as a long term ship. his decision to protect her by making this choice for her, by taking the memories from her is just classic angel. it's something buffy would hate if she knew. for him, it's duty and selflessness. for her it would be a betrayal. it lays bare a kind of unavoidable paternalism that infects their dynamic from the beginning.

hard agree re: spike i always like him best when he's fully being the show's resident buttmonkey. put him in silly clothes! have him be a little pathetic and snarky! make him run around with that smoking blanket pulled over his head!

glad you're having fun so far and getting through it! the initiative will remain kind of weak, but there's still some really great stuff coming up in s4. hush, this years girl, and who are you remain series highlights imo.