Who is the Bookman waiting at the Campbell Residence?
I'm back with another theory that bugged me for the last two days I need to put it down. This theory here will contain spoilers regarding Chapter 249/251!
So my theory starts with the following information from the panel above (both from Chapter 222). Lucia says "Bookman has woken up" and:
This scene takes part as Allen was found by Kanda/Johnny, as Allen is on the run for 3 months.
The implication here that it's "just" Bookman. Well, ... which Bookman? As Hoshino confirmed in her last Broadcast Bookman and Lavi are hold hostage for about 4-5 months which will be learn later on, that means around this time of the Story Bookman is still hold hostage by the Noah, same for Lavi.
And for now we know that Lavi will return but not "the same as before". So he is not dead (now), the referenced Junior is Past!Bookman Junior (PBJ for short). There is only one Junior per Generation, so if one is gone another has to be born or the Clan is in danger.
So... who is it?
It's talked about that "Junior" isn't there anymore to carry on the collected memories but also told this will solve once Allen arrives, the scene takes part right after Cross(!) tells Allen to go to the Residence. Mother holds the other key with the Information regarding Zeugle after Allen tells her Cross appeared and told him about Katherina (and we have a huge hint that Cross is still alive by Mother).
So we have an injured Bookman in the twin's old home who was not conscious for quite some time. Bookman Sr. is not injured around that time as Desires just pressures him, Lavi is, but I doubt Lucia would address Lavi as "Bookman-sama" as he is only the apprentice so far, also Lavi is conscious despite being in pain.
You know who is also injured by that time and we all pretty much expect that he is not dead....? Cross. Who was/is suspected to be a Bookman/Bookman Jr even by a lot of people...? Cross. Who has a striking resemblence to Lavi? Also Cross (yes I know some suspect they are related).
Then we have another indicator: Urcampy. It could be that Cross either left Urcampy there (I love the theory both of the Twins have a Golem, but eh) and then we have the information that Cross uses a spell to appear way younger than he is. Another drop of information we got from the recent Broadcast (28.4.24) from Hoshino is that the girl in the panel above is indeed the Lucia we meet in Ch. 251 again and that it has something to do with the Residence. Could it be the same magic Cross uses? But in the opposite direction? To make her appear younger or older depending on how it's needed?
Cross walks upon the lines all the time, he can do as he pleases, he is above the law. He interacts with the Noah casually, Road treats him like an old friend (Vol 27) despite him having not only one but two Innocence (which is, another really interesting information), he has obtained knowledge nobody else has. He can modify Akuma, he uses a Corpse and her Innocence. Why is he not killed despite the fact he knows the true identity of the Earl? He is above the Black Order and Central makes a deal with him, yes he's a good Exorcist, strong and all that. But he doesn't get the "you are a traitor" treatment Allen got, ... what has he going on there?
We don't really know why he cares for Mana, how they met and whatever deal/relationship we have going on (no I don't really go for the Cross = Cyrus theory here). We know by now Cross most likely knew PBJ, but not Past!Allen. As he has no indication on what he looks like aside the age, not even a hair color, personality or anything else aside the information that an Allen is the host and that Mana got told that "Allen" is the key.
This fuels my theory that Master and Apprentice parted, one followed Mana and the other Nea to record their part of history as the both weren't able to engage anymore without trying to kill each other/the Noah side needed to regain anyways after Nea killed them all but the Earl/Road.
So I am back with this panel. This is a Bookman. But which? I had an tad of an idea that this could be 'our' Bookman in younger years but by now I think I was wrong.
Could this be Cross as his role as Bookman? One side of the face is hidden, just like Cross'. Also while we are at hidden face, I am by now sure that Cross mask is a reference to either the same mark PBJ has, or he has the same mark because he is the Master to even that PBJ. In one of the recent Volumes Allen is asked if Cross has a limited vision because of the mask and Allen denies (it's in Komui's Lounge in either Vol 27 or 28... i can't recall it rn I read too many things the last days) and says Cross has a very good vision and can see well despite the mask.
Another point is that Cross is not named Marian Cross, it's a fake identity. We basically know nothing about him. Other than he has forbidden knowledge, even about the hidden side of the war, something only a Bookman should have.
Does Bookman sr. knows? Well, I am not sure about that. In Ch. 251 it's mentioned that not all of Zeugle know each other, they could be fighting each other in the same war until they reveal they are from the Clan, so.. it's pretty much possible that the Order has basically 3 Bookmen among them.
Desires might address Bookman sr. that he was friends with the former generation of Noah but ... he can't access his Noah memories, therefore Bookman could play pretend and maybe truly doesn't know shit about Nea or he covered his fellow Bookman aka Cross.
.. so yeah. I needed to get this out of my head. I have literally no idea if any of this makes sense or if anybody would agree with me, but I am certain we have a different Bookman here and that the Bookman Clan/Zeugle play a way bigger role than we thought.
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constantly torn between wishing i was conventionally attractive and wishing i didnt feel like i have to be pretty to be worthy of anything.
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lived my whole life in guilt bc i thought i was responsible for people's feelings. newly realizing that other people are responsible for their feelings and reactions, even if they make it seem like i'm the problem. a lot of the time it really has to do w them and their own emotional regulation. i can't keep thinking i'm not allowed to have space bc of other people's insecurities. like i literally refuse to dim myself. other people are responsible for their feelings just as i'm responsible for mine.
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i love when words fit right. seize was always supposed to be that word, and so was jester. tuesday isn't quite right but thursday should be thursday, that's a good word for it. daisy has the perfect shape to it, almost like you're laughing when you say it; and tulip is correct most of the time. while keynote is fun to say, it's super wrong - i think they have to change the label for that one. but fox is spot-on.
most words are just, like, good enough, even if what they are describing is lovely. the night sky is a fine term for it but it isn't perfect the way november is the correct term for that month.
it's not just in english because in spanish the phrase eso si que es is correct, it should be that. sometimes other languages are also better than the english words, like how blue is sloped too far downwards but azul is perfect and hangs in the air like glitter. while butterfly is sweet, i think probably papillion is more correct, although for some butterflies féileacán is much better. year is fine but bliain is better. sometimes multiple languages got it right though, like how jueves and Πέμπτη are also the right names for thursday. maybe we as a species are just really good at naming thursdays.
and if we were really bored and had a moment and a picnic to split we could all sit down for a moment and sort out all the words that exist and find all the perfect words in every language. i would show you that while i like the word tree (it makes you smile to say it), i think arbor is correct. you could teach me from your language what words fit the right way, and that would be very exciting (exciting is not correct, it's just fine).
i think probably this is what was happening at the tower of babel, before the languages all got shifted across the world and smudged by the hand of god. by the way, hand isn't quite right, but i do like that the word god is only 3 letters, and that it is shaped like it is reflecting into itself, and that it kind of makes your mouth move into an echoing chapel when you cluck it. but the word god could also fit really well with a coathanger, and i can't explain that. i think donut has (weirdly) the same shape as a toothbrush, but we really got bagel right and i am really grateful for that.
grateful is close, but not like thunder. hopefully one day i am going to figure out how to shape the way i love my friends into a little ceramic (ceramic is very good, almost perfect) pot and when they hold it they can feel the weight of my care for them. they can put a plant in there. maybe a daisy.
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learned something about myself lately
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To me it's like this
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Hey wait a minute—
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despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if he’d been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldn’t have helped Falin,
theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didn’t want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.
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NNNNEEEEEEERRRRRRDDDDDD
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tired of being scared which means i have to open my heart again which means i have to feel the fear which opens the door for all the emotions stuck behind it
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actually I do want to talk about Sally Jackson a tad more because one criticism I've been hearing about her book counterpart more recently is "book Sally is one-dimensional: the perfect mother with no flaws" and that just has me biting my cheek because one part of her book counterpart that I always thought was ripe with discussion and didn't make it to the show is that Sally states that it was selfish of her to keep Percy close. It's one of the last things she says to him before she's "killed" by the minotaur.
And there's so much that we don't know about Sally because we view her from Percy's eyes. From his perspective we know that she's exceedingly kind, she never raises her voice to him or even Gabe, and she endured a horrible and abusive relationship to protect her son from monsters (of a different kind).
But there are things we can piece together from the text: Sally has known about CHB for a long time, apparently since before Percy was even born because Poseidon told her he wanted to send Percy there; she was told that it was a mistake for her to keep Percy close - who told her that, we're not sure, she only uses the phrase they; she's been in contact with Grover through out the school year; she knows that she can't cross the camp boundary line, which means either Grover or someone else (Chiron? Poseidon?) told her that, and that she understood that there was place that Percy would be safe from monsters.
And all of these little details are so interesting because it does make you wonder just how much she did or didn't know. Was her self assessment right? Was it selfish of her to keep Percy close?
On one hand, she kept him close because she loved him, alongside the fear that if she sent him to camp, she would be saying goodbye for good -- so is it even fair to call the act of keeping him close selfish? Or perhaps, much like Chiron, she assumed keeping Percy in the dark would be safer?
But on the other hand, Percy had been attracting monsters all his childhood, she understood camp was a safe place from monsters, and she had apparently been told explicitly that it was a mistake for her to keep him close.
And then adding in the factors of: Percy is her only family in the entire world, she's been suffering with Gabe for years, sacrificing so much in order to keep Percy safe when he's at home... but even that has a touch of sad irony because when we meet Percy in tlt, its at point when he's not really home at all -- he's been regularly sent off to boarding schools, so much so that he's internalized it as his own short-coming.
And all of this isn't to say "Omg Sally is actually horrible" or to assert definitely that she is selfish... but more to speak to the fact that in the books, she's not an all-perfect 2-dimensional mother. And her self-assessment of selfishness is something that is really interesting to explore and debate given the implications of what she apparently did (or did not) know about the godly world. I feel there's even an argument to be made that Sally being "selfish" could be a reflection of Percy's fatal flaw.
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idk if this is accurate but i’ve felt like in previous seasons riz & gorgug have been one of the inter-bad kids dynamics we’ve seen the least of & this season has been so great in that aspect. gorgug having helped make some of riz’s magic gear. riz helping gorgug with his studies. the shared birthday party. gorgug’s gift to riz being something he himself made to protect riz. riz’s gift to gorgug being something he illegally grabbed to protect gorgug. gorgug who utilizes rage to put his body on the line for his friends & riz who will take deep levels of mental stress for his friends. even though it was within the context of a joke, riz calling gorgug an “absolute sweetie.” like yea they might not be in a band together or both part of a presidential campaign team or owlbears teammates, but they’d go to war for each other, because they’re best friends.
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It irritates me alot when people say that making medic more compassionate is ''missing the point of his character'' when he is literally shown to be in the comics.... did you miss the part where he showed concern for both sniper and miss pauling's well being in comic 5 and 6.
His actions are a combination of genuine attachment + clinical interest and these things do not cancel out one another. He is always pushing boundaries and going against the grain and i think this is what led to him losing his license in the first place. He felt stifled by the rules imposed on him.
He is shown to be extremely passionate so it makes sense that he would use his endless fascination with medicine as a way to show his affection. He loves his friends so he will find a way to make them borderline indestructible. Malpractice is his love language.
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i love my therapist but i hate being in therapy. 10 minutes before my appointment, i'm in a meeting with my boss - we discuss my artistic choices; my boss recommends i artistically choose less. 10 minutes after therapy, i wash my hair and think about everything that was said, and then i have to switch it off, like a lamp, and go back to work again.
i was on a walk the other day and someone had the perfect combination of his cologne and whatever-else. it was almost exactly his scent. i fucking hate that. after all these years, i remember that? i tell my therapist - i feel like a fucking wolf. try telling a middle-aged blonde lady. oh i scented him on the air. i'm 30, and i'm having a panic attack over something that would be a plotline in the omegaverse.
what they don't tell you about mental illness is that if you are lucky enough to survive it into adulthood; it becomes a weird slice of your life. because you do, eventually, have to build a life. i realized in a panic somewhere around 22 - oh. i don't know what i'm fucking doing, because i always assumed i'd just go ahead and die. i didn't die, and i'm grateful for that, and i'm very happy about that choice. but it does mean that i am an adult in an apartment, living with my conditions side-by-side like. oh, that's my roommate, adhd. ignore the glass, bytheway, that's ocd.
so you pick your stupid life up by the scruff of the neck and you're, like glad for it (so much laughter and light and friends you would have never thought possible, when you were in the worst of it). but it feels so strange to be dancing around these odd little microcosms, these patchwork moments of your symptoms. if you have a panic attack at night, you still need to wake up and walk the dog in the morning. if your depression is making everything boring, well, you don't have any sick days left, and a job's not really supposed to be that exciting anyway. your ocd tears out each individual leg hair, and then, an hour later, you sigh, patch up the bloody bits, and go get dinner with friends. and the life is kitten-quiet, mewling and pathetic, but it's also like - it's yours, so you're fond of it.
and it's like - you're real. so you still enjoy pushing the shopping cart really fast and then riding on the back of it down an empty aisle. and you're not, like, so sick anymore that when you accidentally drop a mug you burst into tears (except for the days you do that. which are bad). and no, you're not allowed around certain items anymore. oops! but you've learned to be good about brushing your teeth most days of the week. and yeah sometimes in the middle of the day you have a little freak-out about how fucking unfair it all is, how fucking hard, how other people can just do this without having to fucking hurt the whole time. and then you sigh and force yourself to sit down and fucking journal about it so you can tell the nice middle-aged blonde woman yeah i had a hard day but i practiced grounding. you still sometimes want to burst out of your own skin, but you force yourself to eat kind-of healthy and to take your vitamins. you let yourself chop off all your hair in the sink in a dramatic poetry of control and relief - and you also have developed good hobbies that help you move your body more frequently. you feel helplessly behind, lost in the shuffle - but you also practice gratitude, taking stock of what you have garnered. because you're trying. even if you're never gonna be normal, you have something... close enough.
and the little kitten of your life, this mangy, starlit tigercub, this thing you expected to rot so young: in your arms, it turns itself over, belly-up. exposing this new soft part, all the organs and guts. like it's saying i trust you now. you won't give me up.
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Contrary to popular belief, when Soap joined the 141, he didn't attach himself obnoxious and irrevocably to his glowering lieutenant. There was no baby duckling moment, no imprinting from the sociable sergeant, no following Ghost around like a lost puppy
For his first few weeks on base, he was bright and loud in the way of the new kid on the block trying to make friends however he could, but he gravitated mostly towards Gaz, a man equal to him in rank, passion, and mischievousness. He sought out Ghost with the same enthusiasm that he sought out latrine duty or paperwork; a part of everyday military life that's easier to accept and move on than fight against. He didn't go out of his way to avoid Ghost, but he also didn't actively try to gain his attention either
Contrary to popular belief, it was Ghost who attached himself to Soap, not the other way around
Ghost has always stuck to the shadows, taken advantage of the brightness of others to stay hidden, to fly under the radar until he erupts with deadly force, and no one was brighter than Johnny. When Soap walked into a room, no one had the wherewithal to even think to check for anyone behind him; he stole the attention of everyone he came in contact with. He was a blaze of energy and charm and excitement, and Ghost shamelessly used it to his advantage, placing himself behind Johnny like he was deploying a decoy flare, knowing that he could rely on the shadow that Soap never failed to cast with his intensity. It wasn't a fear thing, either; Ghost never cowered in Soap's shadow. At worst, he lurked. At best, prowled. He did what he did best, assisted by an oblivious, brilliant sergeant
And when Soap caught on... Price never knew peace again, because Soap turned the glow up tenfold, intentionally creating pockets of shadow for his lieutenant to hide in, the two of them working in tandem until they didn't even have to speak, until they could move around each other with alarming, exceptional ease
Around base, Ghost took advantage of it for fun, or to get out of paperwork, or to avoid social interaction; he could trust his sergeant to distract anyone from anything for long enough that Ghost could slip away entirely unnoticed, with everyone around them none the wiser
In the field, though... They had never been a more deadly duo. There was risk involved, of course, because intentionally drawing attention to yourself in a firefight is less than ideal, but they trusted each other implicitly. Whenever Soap kicked up dust, Ghost took cover in it, hiding in plain sight, secure in the knowledge that the combination of Soap's diversion and his own trigger finger kept them completely safe. No one ever saw Ghost, not when they were too caught up in the pandemonium that was Johnny MacTavish, and then it was too late, because Ghost had already taken them out
And when Soap turned that wildness on Ghost himself, well... Simon could admit that he used his sergeant's influence to his advantage, but he'd never claim to be entirely immune to it himself...
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