#does this? count for my art tag? i mean its my tag so sure i guess???

[basilpaste]

keep an eye or two (or maybe just the one) out tomorrow! do you want to hear eight minutes of a guy having a nervous breakdown into a mic? youre in luck!

... maybe thats not a good pitch.

watch the loop fight brought to life! the video premieres at 2:30 p.m. cst on the 24th!

you can find it through this link!

[dragscore]

floating among stars

[botboots]

Saw that your requests were open so what about TFP cons with an adorkable teen human reader? A really close friend (the emotional support bundle of joy™) that is really artistic, kind, understanding and just a pure cinnamon roll, what would be the bots reaction to the lil' human? Optimus, Ratchet,Bulkhead, Arcee, BB, and if you do the kids then the kids. If not the other bots, stay safe!

im back!! so sorry for the long ass wait, had so much going on in my life recently (graduating, going back home, etc.) but hopefully i'll be back to posting somewhat regularly! tysm for the continuous support :] love seeing the notifs pop up every day this is one of the first asks in my inbox (and i completely forgot that the prompt said reader was part of the cons... whoops) and i've wanted to get it done for a while now! have so many more to get through but will get them done eventually - this isn't the best but its cute <3 and you can 100% tell who my favs are lmao warnings: none word count: 939 (GN reader)

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Optimus:

he finds your outlook on things is a nice change of pace compared to the more pessimistic views that some members of the team can have at times

values your compassion greatly, often turning to you as a confidant over the time you’ve gotten to know each other. a mission went wrong and he’s putting all the blame on himself? you’re there to reassure him in a heartbeat, reminding him that he did his best and there’s always another chance; you keep him grounded

has an innate interest in art and writing - he used to be an archivist, after all

so he enjoys watching you indulge in your hobby, your excitement about it reminds him of his younger years of being a clerk at iacon when he would become giddy over a newfound archaic text

he’s very fond of you and makes sure you know it, taking note of the small things you like and getting you whatever little gift he can manage to find - genuinely thinks you’re cute and likes seeing you happy :] 

Ratchet:

while it may have taken him a little longer than the others to warm up to you fully, he grew to start looking forward to your company (despite his his best efforts to hide it)

he appreciates your quiet company; you’re much less rambunctious than both the other humans and his own team - you complain a lot less too, probably one of his favorite qualities about you

like optimus, your bubbly attitude gives him a much needed break from the dreary duties that come with being the autobot medic

you often find yourselves working in tandem, with you sitting on the couch working on your newest project while he stands at his terminal typing away. occasionally you’ll walk over with a nervous smile, and with a roll of his optics he’ll lower a servo for you to climb into and lift you up onto the corner of the console, huffing when you chirp a thank you before the both of you quietly return to your tasks (he enjoys it, really)

while he’s not one to vent his frustrations to you, he’ll always be open to listen to you vent about yours. even if he doesn’t respond with much, he’ll offer logical solutions and observations for whatever issue you’re having

Bulkhead:

the big guy loves art, having been exposed to his fair share of it by miko, and is very encouraging when it comes to your projects

he might not get some of the nuances or meanings of the things you make, but he tries - oftentimes making you laugh a bit at the sheer amount he misses. it’s endearing though, and you appreciate the effort

too fidgety to sit and watch you do anything for too long, but he’ll offer to drive you to a vista for some inspiration while he does his usual scouting routes, miko tagging along of course. she’ll probably bring her sketchbook with her and sit next to you and draw, chattering the entire time while blasting some music from her ipod, offering you one of her earbuds

Arcee:

similar to ratchet she takes a while to get used to you, a little cold at first to your attempts at friendliness

she notices how happy you seem to make everyone else and eventually makes a legitimate pass at being friendly despite how awkward it feels

but with how eagerly you accept it she doesn’t feel as bad, sighing in relief as you immediately start filling her in on how much you’ve enjoyed your time with the autobots

she’s not much of a conversationalist (especially when it comes to humans) so your chattiness is almost a relief - not having to keep up fake interest and energy with someone puts her in a more comfortable position; especially since you’re not one to comment on it like others tend to

will sit and watch you work on whatever your newest project is, a comfortable silence shared between the two of you

rambles about random stuff from her past sometimes - you turn out to be one of the few people she trusts enough to mindlessly dump her thoughts to, both good and bad

Bumblebee:

one of the first to get to know you, overly excited about having a fresh face around

super curious when he sees you working on something, a barrage of questions translated from mechanical chirps and whirrs with the help (and annoyance) of ratchet

he’ll actually try and mimic some of your art on the walls of hidden ditches where he and rafael hang out, excitedly bringing you along to show off his latest work and buzzing happily when you praise it

will eventually, with your encouragement, try and make something original - he ends up finding it pretty soothing and an easier way to feel understood; communicating his feelings without words can be unsurprisingly helpful for someone who can’t use any of his own

you’ll spend hours hanging out and working on your stuff - he likes when you help him with his own art, adding your own brushstrokes to the concrete wall

he’ll let you sit up on his shoulder just to watch him make whatever he feels like making, or even just taking you on joyrides in the desert where he doesnt need to worry about anything going wrong

while it’s usually you, him and raf hanging out he does enjoy spending solo time with you - usually in silence or one-sided conversations, but you understand each other well enough without words

will also figure out what your favorite songs are and surprise you with them; he loves when you get all giddy about literally anything

[soullumii]

masked up | joel miller x f!reader

pairing: joel miller x fem!afab!reader

summary: joel fucks you while wearing his gas mask

warnings/tags: 18+ content MDNI, very self indulgent smut (unprotected piv oops, mask kink 🤭, vaginal fingering, riding joel cowgirl because that is for sure his fav position, little bit of a bulge kink, oral [m receiving]) descriptions of blood and violence, established relationship (married!! whoop whoop!!), making joel call you “my wife” because i’m weak for that shit, soft!joel, protective!joel, this got sappy, pet names galore as usual, NO USE OF Y/N

word count: 4.2k

a/n: i can’t explain how i feel about joel wearing a gas mask. i swear every time he put it on while i was playing tlou pt 1 i moaned /hj. just HEAR ME OUT PLEEK. JUST WATCH THIS (it’s a tiktok edit) OK YOULL UNDERSTAND.

You don’t mean for the mask to become a thing.

But it does. It becomes a Thing™.

It all starts and ends with Joel, like good and bad things usually do. And this thing is no exception.

But it all begins with something bad.

Coming across spores nowadays is few and far between for you. You're not usually on patrol much, your job being to tend to the crops in the greenhouse and feed the livestock. 

Today, though, you’re not so lucky. With Tommy out sick, you’re filling in for him. Thankfully, though, you’re paired with Joel, your very lovely and very experienced in the art of dealing with infected, husband. So you know if you come across spores, your husband will have your back. 

Spores are annoying, but they're manageable with gas masks. When you and Joel enter an abandoned office building on a new patrol route and you catch sight of the little specks floating through the air, you immediately put yours on, Joel doing just the same. 

The floaty fungal fuckers themselves aren't scary, especially not when you have the gas masks to keep you safe. It's just what waits in the shadows that scares you, because where there are spores, there's infected. Lots of them. 

And usually interspersed in that conglomerate of stalkers and clickers are the big, meaty ones. The kind that have been sitting and festering for years. The kind that could literally rip you into pieces, regardless if you have a gas mask on or not. Bloaters, yeah, those big shits. The fucking bane of your existence.

Unfortunately, the one lazing around in this abandoned office building must somehow pick up on your undying hate for them because within minutes of you and Joel looting the place for all it’s worth, it comes clambering out of what used to be a conference room.

It's a big one. Noticeably disgusting, outrageously hideous, growling and slobbering as it slings mycotoxin at you. It's not very fast, and yet it's so fucking terrifying as it lumbers after you, because you know exactly what it’s capable of. 

You're shooting at it with whatever arrows you have left in your backpack (though they’re mostly just bouncing off it’s thick fungal exterior), and Joel's crunching out shot after shot with his shotgun, but neither of you are hardly making a dent.

God, you wish Joel had brought the flamethrower he keeps in his storage room. You’d make a Molotov cocktail, but with the other infected hot on your heels, there's no time. 

A stalker comes crawling out of the shadows behind you, knocking over an office chair in the process, and you whip around to lodge an arrow right between its eyes. Two more come swinging out of nowhere, and you're so focused on trying to get rid of them so that they can't reach you—can't reach Joel—that you don't realize you've left your back unattended until a large, gross excuse for a hand lands hard on your shoulder, lugging you backwards with inhuman strength. 

Joel shouts your name with increased panic, and you hear his gun fire off more rounds into the bloater's back, but it doesn't care, it's hands finding your head and jaw, gripping you so tight you think it might shatter your mandible.

"Joel!" You scream, eyes squeezing shut as the pain in your jaw multiplies.

This motherfucker is about to rip you clean in half—

You think this is it, I'm about to die in front of my husband by being torn from the jaw down, but, thankfully, death never comes. Instead, the bloater releases you with a pained roar as the sound of squelching fills your ears. You manage to back away enough to watch Joel tug the bloater off of you by the handle of his machete, the blade lodged in its chest. 

He pulls the machete out only to swing it down in an arc straight into its head, repeatedly. Blood splatters all over him as he bludgeons the wretched thing. Over his veiny arms, his black mask. It sinks into the fabric of his flannel.

And funnily enough, this is when it becomes a thing.

The bloater crumples to the floor with a gurgling groan as it finally dies, and Joel turns to you, chest heaving and eyes wide and panicked. They soften, relieved when he catches sight of you physically intact, though, mentally a bit checked out.

Whether that’s because you’re in shock or because your brain is rewiring as it files this new image of Joel away, who knows? Maybe it's a little bit of both. 

“Are you okay?" Joel asks, sheathing his machete to look you over. His hands catch your jaw gently, a welcome contrast to the bloater. He turns it this way and that, checking for any damage or possible bites.

A traitorous thrumming starts up between your thighs as he stares you down through the lenses of his mask. 

"I'm fine, Joel," you say, breathlessly. "Thanks."

“Thank god,” he squeezes your arm lovingly, grateful to see you in one piece. “Let’s get outta here.”

- - -

"Do you like the masks?" You ask him eventually, when you're back outside, the setting sun warming you pleasantly as the tall borders of Jackson rise in the distance.

You both took the masks off the minute you escaped the spores, but a part of you secretly hoped Joel would keep his on.

Joel scratches at his graying beard. "They keep us safe. Don't feel much for 'em at all really." He glances sidelong at you, a curious quirk to his lips. "Why?"

You shrug, "No reason."

Just trying to figure out if you'd wear it during sex if I asked you to, that's all.

“Alright, somethin's up," Joel says. "You've got the look.” 

“What look?” 

“The sex look.” 

You halt in your hike, turning to narrow your eyes at him. “What the hell are you talking about?” 

Joel fails to stifle a chuckle. “You’re horny. That’s the face you make when you want to have sex. Like you wanna eat me alive.” 

Shit. He’s found you out.

“How would you know?”

He blinks. “Honey, I’m married to ya. Of course I’m gonna know.”

Valid. Still-

"I’m not horny," you try to defend, though you've never been good at lying, and based on the self satisfied smile Joel wears, you know he sees right through you. "We almost died, Joel. Maybe this is my 'loving every minute of my life' look."

"I know that look. This ain't it."

Jesus Christ.

You sigh heavily. “Okay, yes. Maybe I am a little horny.” 

"Because…what? We almost died? That gets you goin'?" 

"No," you grit. You can’t even look at him when you say it. “It’s the mask.”

His brows knit. “The...gas mask?”

You nod tightly. 

“I don’t think I’m followin’,” Joel says. 

Is he seriously asking you to spell it out for him?

You take a deep, steadying breath. You don’t quite know how to phrase this, so you just go for it. “Watching you save my life in the gas mask just sort of woke something up in me. It was hot.” 

“Oh.”

Yup. He definitely thinks you’re crazy.

“So, what, you want me to fuck you while wearin' the mask or somethin’?”

Heat pools heavy and thick between your thighs at his words, your heart hammering behind your ribs. “Something like that, yeah.” 

Joel straightens. “...Okay. I can do that.” 

Your head whips up. “Wait, seriously?”

“You’re my wife. If you asked me to fuck you with a damn jester’s hat on I’d do it.” 

You laugh. “Okay, let’s not go that far.”

“I’d really do it for you.”

“It sounds like you actually want to wear it.”

He chuckles, and you two resume walking back to Jackson. “Alright, so, gas mask on tonight,” he says. “Any other requests?” 

“Since you’re asking…maybe you could wear a cowboy hat sometime…”

- - -

"Jesus, you're really lovin' this," Joel muses.

You're laid out beneath him in your shared bed, his long calloused fingers deep in your cunt, his thumb circling slowly over your clit, drawing out your pleasure, stretching it like taffy. Your jeans are still on, unbuttoned and unzipped, and your soiled underwear is pulled to the side as Joel’s hands unwind you. 

You're grasping onto his muscled forearm for dear life, moans leaking out of you in a steady stream as he fucks his fingers into you, curling up to stroke that spot that has you clenching down hard on his digits as the burning starts in your toes, climbing up your thighs. 

He looks so fucking good with that mask situated over his handsome face, his peppered hair flipping out over the straps that keep it snug on him. His eyes are dark through the lenses as they watch you unravel before him, almost black from how dilated his pupils are.

His jeans are still on, his erection straining hard against his zipper. The flannel he wore earlier is gone, giving you the perfect view of his toned chest and the dark hair that dusts it. There's still some blood stains on his mask. Every time you catch sight of them, your body ignites with something carnal and hungry.

"’Cause, you look hot," you huff between moans. 

Joel laughs, deep and rumbling, and the mask warbles it a bit, adding a distortion to his voice that for some reason makes everything happening so much hotter. “I still don’t really get it, but if it’s makin’ you this wet, I don’t care.”

You moan particularly loud at the sound of his voice muffled through the mask and cant your hips against his hand, the combination of his thumb circling your clit and his fingers fucking up into you has you dangling dangerously close to the edge.

“I-I’m close, Joel.”

His brows furrow behind his mask, and he quirks his fingers inside you even more, and you jolt against his hand. 

“C’mon then, baby. Come for me. Show me how much this pretty pussy loves this mask.”

Fucking shit. When you first met Joel, he hardly spoke a single word, and even when you got him to open up more, he was thoughtful with what he said, chose his words carefully. Unless he was angry, then he could be a bit of an ass.

In bed though? Shit, if you can get him to shut up it’s a damn miracle.

“F-fuck, Joel,” you whine, legs stiffening as your orgasm swells inside you, a match striking, lighting up your viscera as pleasure fast-releases inside your veins. 

“There you go baby, that’s it,” Joel purrs. “So pretty when you come.”

You inhale shakily as the last few shocks fizzle through you, your clit throbbing as you come down from your high.

“Fuck…” you huff, trying to catch your breath.

He strokes your thigh lovingly, and if you could see him behind the mask you’d assume he’s probably wearing that soft smile that he gets sometimes that melts you into a puddle of mushy gushy feelings.

Joel leans back on his knees. “Now it’s time to deliver on that promise,” he says, and your skin tingles at the sound of his zipper. 

“Wait,” you tell him, and he stops, looking at you in concern.

“Somethin’ wrong?”

“No I just…I wanna show you how much this means to me.”

“Me wearin’ this mask? It’s not a big deal-“

You sit up and plant your hands on his chest, pushing him down until his back hits the mattress, effectively shutting him up.

You swing your leg over him, situating yourself right on his lap and peel off your tank, delighting in the way his eyes widen and his hands come down to settle warmly on your thighs. 

The muscles in his arms shift as he squeezes your flesh. The drag of the crotch of his jeans against yours has you biting your lip, a zing of pleasure shooting through you.

Joel’s eyes have darkened behind his mask, his pupils swallowing his irises whole besides the thin circle of hazel remaining at the edges as he watches you.

“I’ve never hated jeans more than I do right now,” he says lowly, his gaze dropping to the rapid rise and fall of your chest.

His strong hands slide up from your thighs to your hips to your waist, his dry, calloused skin causing goosebumps to rise in their wake. Finally, his palms cup your breasts, unrestrained by a bra because they’re too hard to come by in this day and age. 

He squeezes gently, and your nipples tighten beneath his palms. And then he rolls one between his thumb and forefinger, and your back arches, pressing you further into him. Your hips grind down automatically, and Joel releases a hazy moan. 

“Maybe,” you gasp when you roll your hips again, reveling in the delicious friction against your clit. “You should take them off.”

“Yours first.”

You don’t press him on it. You want your jeans off. So you lift yourself off of him and the bed to tug at your zipper, and Joel watches raptly as you pull your skinny jeans down your thighs, kicking them off your ankles.

And then you’re only in your underwear, and you throw your legs astride him again, the cloth of your underwear catching deliciously on the tent in his jeans. Joel’s hands find your body immediately, like a sweet tooth to a chocolate bar. His fingers dig into your flesh, and he grips your thighs, pulling them apart to set you on him fully. A shudder wracks your spine at the feeling of him pressed against your throbbing core.

“Goddamn,” he growls, eyes roving over you hungrily. “So fuckin’ perfect.”

You grind down on the hard outline of his cock, and Joel can’t help his reflexive thrust into you, and you sigh. 

“I need you in me, Joel,” you whisper, leaning forward to plant your hands on his broad chest, your fingers messing with the hair dusting his sternum. “Need your cock filling me up.”

“Christ,” he swears, eyes falling shut as he bucks again. “Need’a be in you, sweetheart.”

His hands find your hips and then your ass, squeezing the muscle cultivated there from twenty years of surviving in an apocalyptic world. 

His fingers dip beneath the waistband of your panties, warm and confident. He lightly rakes his fingernails over your skin, running his calloused fingertips reverently over the stretch marks on your hips. 

“So fuckin’ beautiful,” he whispers through the mask. “Wish I could kiss you.” 

You shiver and your arms loop around his neck. His back is scarred beneath your hands, and you rub gently into the muscle of his traps, causing Joel to release a groan. 

His hand gravitates from your hips to the apex of your thighs, and your breath catches in your throat at the warmth radiating from his fingers when he positions them just below where you want him most.

He circles your clit again, smooth pleasure seeping through your nerve endings and your head falls back in a relaxed moan. You grind against the hard outline of his cock and the pads of his fingers against your clit, each slow drag of your hips causing pleasure to fizzle through you, like a flavored tab in a glass of water.

Your hands travel down his chest and stomach, outlining the thick, jagged scar there. Over his dark happy trail that starts just above his belly button and leads down to what your body is desperately craving. A little treasure map. 

You deftly undo the button and zipper and Joel makes a wrecked noise in the back of his throat when your hand brushes the hard outline of him through his briefs. 

“Wanna show you how much I like you in the mask,” you purr as you palm him. “How hot it gets me.” 

“Fuck,” his head falls back when you tug him out of his briefs, stroking his thick length to full mast. “Please, baby.”

You inch yourself down his legs so that you’re face to face with his weeping cock. Joel’s eyes widen and his hand comes up to gently stroke your hair appreciatively, tucking a lock of it behind your ear. He looks at you with adoration, and your heart swells in your chest.

“I love you, y’know that?” He says, softly. 

You can’t help but get a bit misty-eyed, always a fan of Joel when he gets soft like this. “I love you, too.” 

He smiles, and glances down at his dick, maneuvering it so that the head skates across your lips, leaving a trail of precum. His heated eyes find yours again. “Go on and show me then.”

“Yes sir.”

You keep eye contact as you lean forward to give his cock little kitten licks, and his head drops against the pillow with a groan, eyes lidded. “Shit, you can’t be lookin’ at me like that.”

You just smirk, and lick a long stripe up a prominent vein and kiss the tip of his cock sweetly before slowly taking him into your mouth. You take in as much as you can (which isn’t much, he’s pretty fucking big), and your hands find whatever you can’t fit.

You start sucking him in earnest, pressing the flat of your tongue against the ridge of his cock, delighting in the way the hand that had softly petted your hair before is now gripping it tight when you tongue that sensitive spot that always gets him reeling.

“That’s it, honey,” he groans, his hips twitching with tiny little thrusts as he tries to hold himself back. “Just like that.”

You moan against his cock, which has him bucking up reflexively, shoving his dick further into your warm mouth. Your throat spasms around the head of his cock when it hits the back of it, gagging lightly and tears forming at the edges of your eyes.

“Shit, I'm sorry, sweetheart,” he says, wiping the tears from your eyes with his thumb.

You shake your head slightly in reassurance, moaning around his cock again, and he releases a heavy breath, eyes fluttering shut once more as you continue to suck and bob and lick, effectively ruining him.

“Okay, okay, baby,” he says after a little while, lightly tugging on your hair to try and get you to stop. “I’m gonna come if you keep doin’ that.” 

You release his cock with an audible pop and send him a pout, “But that’s the whole point.” 

He chuckles a bit, sliding the mask off for a second so he can pull you up to kiss you softly, his tongue swiping over your bottom lip. You moan gratefully into his mouth when he tilts his head to deepen it, opening up greedily. As attractive as you find the mask, you certainly do miss being able to kiss him. You sigh happily when he pulls back to mouth at your jaw and throat, sucking and nipping his way down. 

“I wanna be in you when I come,” he murmurs against your skin, voice rough and gruff and you don’t think you’ll ever tire of it. “How’s that sound?”

You moan softly when he bites down on your throat, his beard and mustache tickling your skin. “Sounds…sounds good.”

He gives you another kiss before tugging his mask back down over his head, and your skin ignites, pussy fluttering.

Joel laughs. “I can literally see the cogs in your brain turnin’ when I put this on. You really do like it, huh?”

You shrug with a guilty smile. “The heart wants what it wants.”

And what it wants is him. Real bad.

So you drift a hand down to pull your panties to the side and shift your hips to position yourself over him, the head of his cock catching on your entrance. You sink slowly down, his length filling you.

The two of you moan in tandem.

“There we go,” he sighs.

“Mm, so big, Joel…” you whimper, and his dick jumps inside you.

You both just hang there for a moment, suspended in time as you get used to the feeling of each other. You’ve done this so many times, know each others bodies inside and out, yet it’s still a brand new experience every time.

You always have to adjust to his thickness. 

You break the spell with an experimental roll of your hips, and Joel’s hands clamp down on your hips with a vice grip.

“Christ—“ he swears. “You’re so good, so good for me.”

He’s filling you so fully, so deeply right now, you’re practically speared on him, and each roll of your hips has your clit brushing against his pelvic bone, amplifying that white hot pressure building inside you. 

When you and Joel first started getting intimate together, he was quiet in the bedroom. Probably a bit nervous around you—he was the one that fell first, after all.

But now after years together, he lets it all out.

Grunts and moans leak out of his gritted teeth as you fuck yourself on top of him. He’s dousing you in praises, telling you what a good girl you are. How perfect you are. How lucky he is to call you his wife. 

It’s all so very adorable and very sexy and you just love him so fucking much. 

Joel plants his feet down behind you, just to get some leverage so he can thrust his hips up into you at a steady pace. Your hands find purchase on his chest, keeping you upright while he fucks you.

His large palm slides around the front of your stomach, pressing down, and you can feel the way his cock moves inside you as he does it.

“You see that, baby?” 

You haven’t really looked down, so focused on the way he looks in the mask, how his breaths are coming out heavier and rougher through it. The way he sounds wrecked. But now that he’s asking, you do. 

You look down, only to see a slight bulge in your stomach with each thrust of his hips. 

A pleasant shudder runs through you. “Oh fuck.”

“Love seein’ the way I fuck you,” he rasps.

You watch his cock disappear and reappear with a slack jaw, eyes glazed as his hands stray to your thighs, squeezing and kneading the flesh.

You’re losing strength in your arms, your nails scraping through his chest hair as you try and remain upright, but the effort of matching his thrusts with your own along with the steady ecstasy filling your marrow is enough to have you collapsing against his chest, boneless.

And now Joel can really take the reins. His big hands grip your ass, holding you still as he pounds into you, your cheek smushing against his pecs with each heavy thrust, your clit rubbing against his sweat-slicked skin.

“F-fuck, Joel. Oh my god—“

“Yeah, yeah,” he grunts. “Atta girl.” 

Within moments you’re already there, eyes squeezing shut, brows pulled together in ecstasy as your climax crashes over you in rolling waves. It ebbs and flows within you as you listen to the heated pants modulating through Joel’s mask, watching his eyes gloss over as he chases his own release. 

It’s so fucking good. So right. Your husband never fails to give you exactly what you want.

His thrusts grow sloppier as he follows soon behind you, the fluttering walls of your cunt pulling him over faster.

“I’m comin’,” he grits. And then he’s grinding his cock into your pussy, holding you still against him as he paints your insides with thick ropes of cum, releasing a long, drawn out, wrecked moan of your name.

You lay pliant on his chest, practically drooling on him as you both come down and his cock softens inside you, slick and cum running down the inside of your thighs. His heart pounds under your ear, a steady reminder that he’s alive and here and that you, thank fuck, didn’t die earlier today.

“Thanks,” you mumble against his perspirant skin.

He tugs the mask off, his hair sticking to his sweaty temple. “‘Course, darlin’. Though as hot as that was, I dunno about having sex wearin’ that again. I think I was startin’ to get light headed from the lack of air.”

You giggle, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no. I liked it. But now anytime we have to wear them again I’m just gonna be thinkin’ about this. Gonna get a damn hard-on when I’m on patrol.”

You smirk, leaning up to plant a kiss on his lips. He opens up beneath you immediately, moaning softly into your mouth. 

“Maybe that was my goal all along,” you mumble, smiling into the kiss.

He pulls back with a quirked brow and crooked grin. “You are into some sick kinds of torture.”

“I mean, if it gets you coming home to me quicker…”

“Oh I’ll be comin’, alright.”

Your face scrunches. “God, you’re sick. Why did I even marry you?”

His eyes melt, one hand squeezing your ass cheek, the other stroking your jaw. “Because you love me.”

That causes tears to well in your eyes again, because despite everything, despite all the fucked up things about this world, you do love him. You’re capable of loving him. And you’re grateful that, even with the terrible way life has treated him, he’s capable of loving you too.

“Yeah, I do,” you say.

He kisses you again, sweet and passionate and filled with all the things he never knows how to say. “I love you, too.”

[asa-do-your-thing]

A pillar of support

Michael Gavey x F!Reader 18+ Minors DNI Word Count: 2,3k Tags / Warnings: Smut, loss of virginity, looming sense of me projecting my insecurities about my upcoming statistics exams

“What don't you understand? I've told you five times already, it is one of the easiest concepts. If you just follow the formulae, you’ll manage your assignment.” 

You nervously picked up your pen again, clicking it a few times. “I know, Michael, but… I don't get it. I want to understand what I’m solving.” The numbers on your paper wouldn't want to make sense to you and Michael's bobbing leg distracted you further. 

“They let anyone study here, urgh”, he muttered and ran a hand through his short hair. 

Crossing your arms over your chest, you took his written assignment out of its plastic folder. “Well, I'm not the one that has written ‘This theory has been proven and it is Logical, I shall not explain more.’ You do know that'll be rejected? You've not quoted anyone in all of these ten pages.”

Michael narrowed his eyes and scooted closer to you. “That is why I have taken out my time to sit with you, so you can correct it for me,” he said coolly.

Raising an eyebrow, you laughed incredulously and pushed the paper back to him, getting ready to leave. “D’you think I'll help you out, for free, without anything in return? You're a dreamer.” 

“No, please, wait,” he said and quickly put his hand on your arm. “The thing is that I've tried explaining to you what you've asked of me. I can't make it easier.”

‘So he really does need my help, then’, you thought to yourself and gave him a small smile. “Well, what would you offer me then?” 

You could see his mind racing as he looked over his assignment once more. “How long would it take for you to correct it and give me feedback?”, he asked matter-of-factly. 

Getting up from the small chair in his room, you stretched and let yourself fall onto his uncomfortable bed. “Anywhere between one and two hours. Why?” 

His eyes scanned your body, stopping at your short skirt and your bare, plump thighs. “I'll meet you next Saturday and you can choose what to do, I'll do it with you and pay for it, but only if that assignment comes back at a 85% or more”, he mumbled, a slight blush spreading on his stern face. 

You knew what he was thinking about and it made you want to giggle. He really wasn't as subtle as he thought he was. “Mh, anything?" You turned onto your stomach, looking up at him, batting your lashes. “That isn’t very ‘specific’ and ‘observable’ of you.” 

He rolled his eyes and got up, giving you an annoyed look. “Stop parroting me.” 

You grinned and got up as well, noticing the way his ugly trekking pants started bulging. “Oh, I will parrot you as long as I want to. Not that you seem to mind, anyhow.”

Michael realized what he was doing and quickly stepped back, his eyes widening in embarrassment. “I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable,” he stammered.

You couldn't help but laugh at how flustered he got. He was usually so stoic and uninterested in women that it was surprising to see him blush like this. You crossed your arms over your chest and gave him a knowing look. “It’s okay, I get it…you think I’m seducing you or something?”

He coughed awkwardly before averting his gaze. You could tell he was trying hard to keep his cool demeanor despite the current situation. “Well, uh…it is kind of hard to concentrate when you are…right here in front of me like this.”

“Oh, so you do want me then?” You gave him a mischievous smile. “Well, if you really want my help so badly, then I suggest you seduce me as repayment. If you do it properly, I might even consider teaching you a thing or two about the art of seduction. What do you say?”

Michael stared at you for a few seconds before he finally nodded shyly, yet with a hint of threat in his voice. “Yes, I’ll do it…but if you ever tell anyone about this, I’ll make sure to ruin your reputation.”

You grinned and crossed the space between you two, standing directly in front of him, slipping your fingers through his belt loops. You could feel the tension radiating off his body as he tried to play it cool. You leaned forward slightly and whispered into his ear. “Good boy. Now let's get started...”

Michael gulped audibly as you pulled him closer by his belt loops. He could feel your breath hot against his ear and he shuddered involuntarily. This was not something he was used to, but he couldn't deny how much he wanted it. He had always been a loner, someone who preferred to keep to himself and focus on his studies. But being in your presence made him feel alive in a way that he had never imagined possible.

You could sense his apprehension, but you were not about to let him back out now. You had spent too much time trying to get him to open up to you, and you were not about to let him go that easily. You ran your fingers along his chest, feeling the firm muscles beneath his shirt, and smiled to yourself. This was going to be fun.

You pulled away from him, a coy smile playing on your lips. "So, do you know where to start?" you asked, arching an eyebrow.

Michael shook his head, still a bit dazed from your touch. "No, not really," he replied softly.

You took his hand and led him to the bed, sitting him down beside you. You could feel the heat emanating from him, and you knew that he was just as affected by your closeness as you were. You leaned in closer, feeling his breath hot against your face. "Let's start with a kiss," you whispered, your lips brushing against his.

Michael closed his eyes and leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a soft, tentative kiss. You could feel his hands shaking as he pulled you closer, deepening the kiss.

"N-not bad, not bad at all," you mumbled, breathing heavily.

You could feel his hot breath against your neck as he moved in for another kiss. He wasn't being very forward, but he wasn't too shy either. It was a good beginning, but he needed to do more if he wanted to win.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. "Did you lock the door?" you asked, closing your eyes and enjoying the feeling of his lips on your neck.

"On it," he replied, quickly getting up and locking the door.

You smirked and pulled him closer, hands moving to caress his chest. "Good boy," you muttered, purring in delight as he kissed along your neck.

He got the hint and quickly moved to kiss your lips once more, a bit more rougher this time. You were no stranger to this. You had played with a few men before, and you knew exactly what they liked.

"Now this is the stuff," you thought to yourself as he continued to kiss you, wrapping your arms around his neck.

His fingers gently moved past your hair, playing with it as he enjoyed the kiss. It felt nice, but you sensed he wanted to do more. You pulled away, looking at him with a mischievous smile. "Do you want to be more forceful?" you asked.

He nodded, biting his lip as he looked into your eyes. "Y-yes," he stammered, and you could tell he was getting harder with each second that passed.

You could feel him harden against your leg, and you grinned. "Mh, you are eager, aren't you? Well, would you want to take off some of my clothes?"

He nodded again. "Yes, I think I can manage that," he replied, his fingers already working on the buttons of your shirt.

You let him take off the shirt, admiring the view. You didn't dress for anything - after all, you just thought you'd study a bit, yet it seemed like it didn't matter to him at all; his eyes widened at the sight of your tits.

"Now the skirt," you said, unzipping the skirt and stepping out of it.

Michael undid your bra and pulled off your skirt, leaving you in a simple black thong. You could feel his fingers trembling as he pulled it down, your womanhood becoming evident. You could tell he was nervous and shy, but he was enjoying this just as much as you were.

You let him admire your womanhood for a few moments before you pulled away and grabbed his hands, placing them on your chest. "Here, touch me," you breathed in his ear, biting his earlobe.

He nodded and began massaging you, his fingers moving all over your chest. You pushed him down onto the bed, straddling him. You could feel his eyes on you as you grinded against his erection, a grin spreading across your face. "Having fun?" you asked playfully.

He replied with a deep kiss, his hands moving to grab your ass. You let out a cry of surprise as he did it, but you couldn't help but like it. You moved your hips against his, moaning softly.

"Y-yes," he stammered, his fingers digging into your skin as he tried to keep his cool. His hands moved over your ass, gently massaging your body. He was enjoying this, but he wasn't the kind of man to just sit back and let you have all the fun. He pulled you off him, flipping you over and pinning you beneath him.

"O-oh?" you muttered, smiling slightly. You had never been on the submissive end before, but it was evident that he had enough of you toying with him - you had given him enough confidence to take the upper hand and you enjoyed it thoroughly.

He kissed your lips again, only to move to one of your nipples. He kissed around it, teasing you. His fingers traced ever so lightly over your skin, feeling every inch of you. He was enjoying the feeling of your skin beneath his fingers, and you enjoyed it too.

You ran your fingers through his hair, moaning in delight as he kissed your breasts. "Oh...that feels good..." he muttered breathlessly.

His lips began kissing lower and lower, until you felt his lips against your stomach. He wasn't going to stop there, you knew that much. You bit your lip and prepared yourself for what was to come. He smiled to himself, enjoying the view. He kissed your thighs, and then he moved in closer.

His tongue brushed against your pussy, tasting your womanhood. He moaned softly as he moved in deeper, tasting the juices of your womanhood. His tongue began moving in perfect harmony, he was enjoying every moment of it. You could tell that he was enjoying himself, and that made you moan even louder.

"M-Michael..." you moaned loudly, grabbing a hold of the sheets beneath you as you began shaking. He had just begun, but you were already on the edge. He moved in faster, his tongue working wonders against your womanhood. Each flick of his tongue sent shivers down your spine, and you were already in a daze. You moved your hips against his tongue, wanting him to go deeper and faster. "Ohh...M-Michael..."

He moaned as you called his name, and you could feel him quickly coming up again, positioning himself aganist your entrance. "D'you want me... raw?"

You didn't need to answer, you didn't want to and most importantly you didn't care. He slowly began sliding into you, his cock filling up every inch of you as he slowly began thrusting. He moaned quietly against as he began moving in and out of you, his cock sliding in smoothly.

"M-Michael..." you muttered, tilting your head back in pleasure. You had never felt something this good before. He was so big, filling up your womanhood. His cock pushed deeper into you, and with each thrust he made you moan louder and louder.

"A-ah..." you moaned, biting your lip as he thrust faster. He was taking no time at all to push every inch of his cock into you, and you loved every second of it. You could feel his cock thrust in farther, hitting against your deepest places. You could feel his cock throbbing inside of you, enjoying the tight walls surrounding him and you could feel your pussy tighten around him. You knew exactly what this meant.

"O-ohh...I'm-I... fuck," he moaned loudly, his cock twitching within you. He let out a loud moan, pushing himself deep into you before he pulled out, cumming all over your lower body. His hot cum sprayed out over your skin, and you loved it. He leaned forward, his cock still throbbing above your body.  You could feel his heart beat through his cock against your skin, and you could tell just how hard it was for him to hold that back.

He finally leaned down, panting against your neck. "I-I... hope that should be enough for you to help me with my assignment."

You smiled, pulling him closer and hugging him tightly. "Mh..." you replied, leaning up to kiss his forehead. "You did exactly as I asked, I think I'll be able to help you now."

He smiled in delight. "Great! D'you think you could help me tomorrow too?"

You nodded. "I'm pretty much available to help you as much as you'd like," you said.

He smiled, bringing his hands up to your face and gently caressing it. "I... thank you. I'll make sure to get you ready for your statistics exams," he muttered before he leaned in to kiss your lips softly.

[monodramatic-cannibal]

⚠️☣️💛Pinned Post💛☣️⚠️

This is my Undertale au (Mainly Sans aus) blog, my main is @cryingbluez. Will mainly be posting my own artwork, and answer asks. I will sometimes reblog others posts too.

Asks are open, also may do doodle requests too. You can also send me random head canons or thoughts on characters too, I'd love to hear them!

Asks will be open for both me and my characters/aus just make sure to specify who the ask is for. If no one at all is specified and its not clear who its for I will just use any character to answer lol.

I'm also super okay with unhinged asks/tags on my stuff (as long as it isn't nsfw) I'm also okay with spam likes/reblogs/asks. I'm also okay with anons wanting specific anon names e.g. an anon referring to themselves with an emoji.

Also I'm okay with fanart of my characters! :D make sure to tag me and you can even send an ask in to make sure I see it lol. And I'm also okay with your ocs interacting with mine. Either it be through asks or art.

(This blog will have swearing in it. So if that's something you don't like please be careful when viewing my content)

You can call me Monodrama, or just Mono for short. Heres the ref for my skelesona.

Some lore on my sona :D :

Despite the title of ‘Skelesona’ my technically not a skeleton. More so some sort of parasite controlling a puppet/doll that looks like a skeleton.

Monodrama means ‘a dramatic piece for one performer’ (Nickname "Mono"). Given me saying my skelesona he’s actually more of an oc/mascot he doesn’t fully act like me, he's more so a being I can talk through.

His eyes and the bunny features as well as the horn and tail aren’t actually his own, since he’s a sort of parasite he can consume people/monsters and can gain a feature or two that he can use whenever he wants. E.g. he ate someone who had yellow eyes, giving him yellow eye lights, he ate a rabbit monster gaining bunny features, and he ate a reptilian monster for the horns and tail. (Also it explains my blog name lol)

Does have ecto, but rarely has it active

This blog is just a place for me to shove my Undertale au/Sans au artwork, feel free to send asks or doodle requests in. I have a few undertale ocs too :D

I'm open to answering asks about myself or any au/oc stuff I do, I will try to include doodles whenever I can, so bear with me if I don't answer it quickly. If you sent a doodle request and I don't do it please don't be mad. After all it's free art, I get to choose what I want to draw.

I do utau ships, and have my own sans au that I'm working on. Main utau ship I like is CrossMare (Cross x Nightmare), I enjoy drawing Nightmare a lot so you will see a lot of artwork of him. I tend to go for either fandom versions of characters personalities or my own interpretations of them.

Some of my fav bands/artists are, Glass Animals, Vundabar, Girl in Red, Rio Romeo, TV Girl, Machine Girl :DD

My writing style tends to be very blunt, so I try to put in emojis/emoticons. I try not to spam them, but just warning ppl that I don't mean to sound mean I just type like that D: .

I'm still trying to figure out how I wanna draw skele's, so bear with me with that, my style might change.

Some links to posts of mine that I find relevant! :D (will be adding to this as I post more)

Info/boundaries on oc/au ask stuff

OC refs:

My sonas ref (I count him as an oc as well,ik his ref is above, but this is it's separate post)

Raiden's ref (Crossmare ship kid)

Nix-Ceto's ref

Tanue's ref

??? au (No name for the au yet):

Memento Cadre (Omen's team info)

Omen's ref (Omen=Nightmare)

Orca's ref (Orca=Cross) (not posted yet)

Cleaver's ref (Cleaver=Horror) (not posted yet)

Alloy's ref (Alloy=Killer) (not posted yet)

Soot's ref (Soot=Dust) (not posted yet)

Renegade au:

Renegade info (Ut sans au)

Renegade au refs 1 (Can also look at my tag '#Renegade ref' to find refs)

Renegade au refs 2

Tags I use (will be adding to this as I post more):

#Monodrama #Monodrama rambles | These used for posts of my sona, or me answering things, or just random text posts

#Monoart #Monos art #art #digital #digital art | My art tags

#Renegade au #Renegade #Renegade!(insert character name) #Renegade info | Tags for a ut sans au of mine

#ask #asks #doodle response #text response #anon #(insert user of who sent the ask) | tags for asks, doodle response is when I reply with a doodle, text response is when I respond with text (will probs end up using both tags since I have a feeling I will include both text and a doodle). Anon or someone's user is when either an anon sent an ask or whoever the user is that sent in the ask.

DNI Homopobic, Transphobic, Xenophobic, etc Racist, Sexist, Ableist, misogynistic, etc Proshipers, Pedophiles, etc Just basically all the problematic stuff. I also won't be responding much to people who try to start things with me, I will just block people. I just don't have time for it, if your polite about it I will most likely have a discussion with you.

Credits

Page divider (user @.animatedglittergraphics-n-more)

[prettyiwa]

Hunter!Iwaizumi Hajime x Demon!Reader

rating: SFW content tags: Supernatural!AU, Monsters!AU, Reincarnation, Star-crossed Lovers, Hints of Rivals to Lovers, He remembers nothing, You remember everything word count: 1,100 a/n: This is a snippet of a story I may never actually get to. It's set in the same universe as Tear Into Your Soul (mind the warnings). Partially inspired by this art by Jenna Barton

In the distance, he can clearly make out the wolf’s silhouette, similar in size to the mountains she guards. Regardless of what Oikawa may say, she’s phenomenal, something Iwaizumi can only imagine to be created by the divine and not the damned. This world of theirs is scoured by demons and monsters, vastly outnumbering the humans that have thus far survived this hellscape. Even still, he doesn’t believe that all monsters are spawned by evil.

Maybe it’s as Oikawa says and his unwillingness to kill you is at the heart of it, but he’s learning that not all is as it appears, that not all that looks evil is. Hell, there’s probably truth to Oikawa’s belief—even if Iwaizumi’s apparently going soft, it’s you who first showed him what he’s now discovering. The wolf turns her head, scanning the horizon for threats and he’s struck by the distinct feeling that he’s intruding upon something sacred.

“Be careful.”

It should startle him, should have him on his guard, but your voice produces the opposite effect. He doesn’t need to turn to know that you’re incorporeal right now, nor does he need to ask to know what you mean. 

The woods are teeming with predators, all desperate for their next meal. Some are mindless, driven by instinct and the base need to survive, but there are those who are malicious and intentional, cherishing the opportunity to torment their prey. He’s well-equipped to deal with most of them, but he knows there are those who would leap at the opportunity to devour him. Oikawa would argue that you are one of them.

“You won’t protect me?”

There’s a soft snap of twigs behind him, the slight rustling of leaves telling him you’re finally here. “There’s only so much I can protect you from,” you say once you’re right behind him. You carry on without acknowledgment of the shivers you send up his spine, though he knows you’re aware of them. “Besides, I was under the impression you didn’t want my protection.”

He’s not so sure anymore. Without a doubt, you’ll be there should harm ever befall him. You’ve never told him as much, never indicated anything of the sort after your initial meeting, but he knows it with every fiber of his being. If you asked him when he was younger, he would’ve been terrified by the prospect of a demon being there for him, but…

There’s something that soothes his soul, something that eases his anxieties, simply knowing that you exist. Something snapped into place, forcing him to acknowledge that his life without you was incomplete. It terrifies him to the bone just as much as it calms the raging storm that dominates his entire existence.

“Were you waiting for me to be alone, or were you wandering this same forest?”

You step into the peripheral, reminding him of those days when he would see a shadow in the corner of his eye and turn to find nothing. Sometimes you’re like smoke where you’re almost completely intangible, impossible to hold, this only supported by the fact that your true demonic form is obscured by the thick waves of smoke that undulate around you. Other times, you’re painfully real, your presence carrying so much weight it’s impossible to miss, impossible to ignore the way he’s pulled toward you like the moon is its planet. Even if you seem to be little more than a blurry figure at the edges of his line of sight, he can feel you step into place beside him, as sure that you’re real as he is that he’s breathing.

“Are you trying to suggest that this was a coincidence?”

“That’s assuming they exist—”

“They don’t. Nothing is a coincidence and nothing happens by chance,” you say, voice unnaturally cold. “If you allow yourself to believe that there isn’t an actor pulling the strings somewhere, you’ll wind up dead. Again.”

“Again?” he asks, turning to properly face you. You don’t look at him, eyes still ahead though he’s not sure whether you’re seeing what’s in front of you.

You don’t remember, do you?

The words from your first meeting ring in his head and there hasn’t been a time before now that he’s wanted so badly to know what you meant.

“What won’t you tell me?”

“Telling you won’t change anything.”

Grey smoke gathers at your fingertips as it does when you become agitated, though he finds no other trace of agitation on your features. An unusual breeze sweeps through the trees, dragging your smoke with it, leaving you both to watch the unnatural way it moves, circling around you both before blowing in the direction of the wolf.

With it comes a shift in your emotions—that he can sense it is worrying enough. An incredible, soul-crushing sadness swallows you before him and he’s struck by the sheer age of it, by the acute familiarity that comes with it. You two aren’t particularly close, but he feels as though you two have been here a thousand times before and that you two will be here a thousand times more. 

He doesn’t love you, but he feels it in his bones—loving you is an inescapable and immutable reality that awaits him.

Something shifts in the distance, something that sends shivers down his spine and screams danger. The collective breath of the forest is held as the wolf stands, all life waiting for her next move. Her shadow covers nearly the entirety of the hill before her, and he’s frozen in place as she turns, the hollowness of her white eyes sharpening as they settle on him.

There’s but a moment’s notice before he’s engulfed in your smoke, in the thick scent of cypress with the barest disruption of something floral. Everything tightens and it becomes difficult to breathe as he’s caught in stasis until he’s certain the ground beneath his feet is different than it was before. He should be alarmed, should feel angered, but the proximity of you makes that impossible. Your smoke starts to clear and he recognizes this place as on the other side of the mountain, somewhere closer to the settlement, somewhere that puts you in danger. 

“Don’t die this time, Hajime.”

A whisper, carried on the wind, much more natural than the last. He knows that you’re gone, but his feet carry him forward regardless, body searching for you of its own volition until he stops before a bush much taller than he, much older than the surrounding vegetation. 

Before his eyes blooms a single red camellia and the flash of lives he once knew.

[faybellesbeauty]

Intro!!

Heya! The name's Jade, but you can call me JJ. I mainly post Ever After High (and sometimes shifting) :) My main blog is @oldmarriedwife so if I follow you back, that's me. Pronouns are she/her but whatever works for you, works for me!

About me as an EAH fan: Favourite character(s): Wonderlandians, Cerise, Briar Favourite ship(s): Bribelle, Kitty x Cerise, and pretty much any sapphic ship as long as its not Rapple (i see them as friends)! Favourite book(s): Love them all!! Favourite special(s): Spring unsprung and wtw! Favourite episode(s): don't make me choose... Team royal or rebel: rebel through and through! got it from the original mattel test a decade ago and it kinda stuck :)

More about me in general: "I love cats, chocolate milk and art in any shape or form (from visual to performing). My hobbies include skateboarding, horse riding, acting and occasionally swimming (i used to do competitive but had to quit)!! otherwise im not that interesting of a person but if you think im at least a bit cool, that's enough for me" Other socials: Tiktok: faybellesbeauty, charminglydarling Instagram: oldmarriedwife, charminglydarling Ao3: currently none that i post on! will be charminglydarling in the future :) Discord: i'll give it in dms if you actually want it ^^ Boundaries: Asks: always open and okay!!!! please send me asks if you have any thoughts DMs: always open unless i say otherwise :) Pings: please do!! Ask to be friends: sure!! as long as you're a good person (preferably 13-16, but as an actor i pretty much have friends from six to sixty so if you're fine with being older or younger, so am i) Moots: i try to follow people back as much as i can, but if i don't follow you please let me know!! i love having moots and interacting with them :D Other fandoms I'm in: Victorious Mean Girls Grey's Anatomy (+ spin-offs) Criminal Minds Pokémon Killing Eve FNaF Genshin Impact Stardew Valley Monster High Valorant (does it count as a fandom??) My Little Pony + a million others. basically any piece of sapphic media to ever exist, or anything that includes anything even vaguely sapphic canon or not. also probably every medical series, cop / agent series and movie that cate blanchett has been in

More blog related stuff:

my tags - that i use frequently

writing boundaries - for requests

[outcastpack]

Tagged by @transdunbar @chasing-chimeras @thiamsxbitch @ksbbb

Are you named after anyone

I am the like unknownouth [redacted] in a long line of [redacted]

When was the last time you cried.

In general- just over a week ago when i watched 7x2 911. If we talking breakdown kinda crying....... also last week.

Do you have kids

Does my doggo count?

Do you play/have you played sports

Years and years ago. I mean does swimming count as sports?

Do you like sarcasm

Si yeah. I may not realise its been given to me personally but that's just cause I'm an oblivious fuck.

What do you notice about people when you 1st meet them

Erm probably their eyes or hair... depends on me in general coz otherwise I'm staring at the floor being an introvert.

Eye colour

💙💙💙 - Blue eyed gang

Talents.

Does causing brainrot and encouraging the brainrot count? Also, does slowly ageing @transdunbar with my caffeine and lack of sleep count? I occasionally do the writing thing too but thats still up for debate on if its good or not.

Where were you born?

Liverpool, England. Just a lil British boy.

Hobbies.

Writing, (as of rn) Playing Pokemon, Mass effect, cyberpunk and Starfield.... erm not much else tbh. Used to include drawing but on a loooong block for dat

Pets.

A doggo and a Lizard

Height

OK so I've genuinely forgot so.... I'm pretty sure it was like 5'8 - 5'9.

What are your favourite school subjects?

I liked art and the part of my IT cause in college that let us do creative stuff with illustrator and photoshop. Enjoyed history too for my inner lore tycoon.

Dream job

-Currently unknown-

Tagging

@equallyloyalandlethal @wolfboy88 @de-constructmybones and anyone else that wants to. (Sorry if anyone's already done it)

[revenantghost]

[20 Question Fic Writer Game]

Tagged by @faindri and @pancake-breakfast!

How many works do you have on AO3?

18! Most are poetry collections, so a lot of smaller stories in one anthology.

What is your AO3 word count?

75,144

What fandoms do you write for?

Trigun is my main squeeze atm (and biggest in general, I have four projects for it which is double anything else--and the highest wordcount, too), but I've written for KinnPorsche, Sabikui Bisco, Danny Phantom, Vampire In The Garden, Sasaki to Miyano, Cyberpunk: Edgerunners, Goncharov (yeah... yeah), The Night Beyond the Tricornered Window, Signalis, Omori, Lycoris Recoil, and The Executioner and Her Way of Life

What are your top five fics by kudos?

No idea and I ain't looking! Trad publishing has me extremely scarred from some nasty comparison wars, so I have kudo and view counts blocked on ALL fics, including mine. From my kudos emails, though, Hallowboned has to be my top fic for sure. Last time I was paying attention most of my other fics didn't pass into triple digits by a long shot

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do!!! I adore comments, and I love chatting with folks, it really keeps me motivated and chugging along. I am... very behind on replying to the comments on my last chapter rn because I feel so awful and guilty about having to quit writing

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uh... I don't write a ton of narrative fics, and I do love me some tragic poetry, but I guess the angstiest collection might be my Signalis one, Observable System Transcendence? But my Omori poem and the Trined Soul collection might be contenders, too

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mean, Trembling Hands is a Trimax fix-it fic, so? Though the Sasaki and Miyano collection, Effortless Dreams, is definitely the most tooth-rotting fluff I've ever slapped onto the page

Do you get hate on fics?

Oh yeah, I've had my poetry called pretentious and also not good enough to be poetry lol. It's been a hot minute since that's happened, people are just jerks sometimes

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I used to! Porn with plot, my beloved. It would be interesting to explore in poetry format, but we'll see if I have the time who wants to commission some poetry porn from me lmao

Do you write crossovers?

Nah, not my cuppa

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yeah, many moons ago

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but that is one of the coolest things fandom does. Loving a thing so much you spend the time to painstakingly transform that art into something you can read and share in another language, bro??? Translators are amazing

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I've worked pretty closely with artists a loooong time ago, but I've only written fics where I'm the sole writer. I have used other writers' ideas and outlines (with their permission, of course), but that's the closest

What's your all-time favourite ship?

I DON'T KNOW?!?! Shipping has never really been my main focus of media typically, but when one digs its teeth into me I go rabid in a completely feral but different way each time.

What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will?

))): All of them

Life feels kinda... really dire atm, it's hard to see ever writing again. However! God I want to finish Hallowboned SO BADLY!!! I have so many chapters written for it that I haven't even posted!!!!! Y'all haven't met Livio yet!!!!!! GAH 3:

What are your writing strengths?

Uh... ??? I'll be real, I've got no idea. I feel like I write so weirdly atm, it's hard for me to analyze in that kinda way

What are your writing weaknesses?

I tend to get really excited/into things and flit around and forget to explain or describe things sometimes. Thank god for having been well-trained to edit my own work. Not that I catch it all, but I try!!!

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it'd really cool, but I'd need a native speaker on hand to make sure I don't fuck it up in my own fic

First fandom you wrote for?

I think my first piece of written fanwork was a Danny Phantom Quizilla thing lmao, I'm old. I don't remember what it was about, just that it was ANGSTY

Favourite fic you've ever written?

Ah?!?! Honestly, each project is so different and written from such a different place, I've got no idea. I'm proudest of Observable System Transcendence being my longest, most consistent project (outside of my Smaugust collection, which isn't a fan project), Hallowboned being the first thing that really inspired me in ages--and the most indulgent one lol. But each collection and fic and poem comes from such a different place, and it's hard to pull them apart and pick???

Tagging:

Whoever wants to hop in! :3

[kitnita]

Talk Hockey To Me

(tag game)

tagged by @eliooliver83 @oetter & @txstars!! mwah thank you!!!

1. The thing that got you hooked on hockey

i am a lifelong member of the 'being insane about sports' club in that i still have a poster of my baseball team's 2005 roster hanging over my bed & used to get SO pissed in middle school when boys in my class had incorrect college basketball opinions. but hockey was just? never on my radar?? due to the south texas of it all. then i went to college for broadcast in new york state & made friends with some guys majoring in sports broadcast and was like wait ....... there's a sport they talk about that i can't talk about (i loved knowing more about sports than boys so this was a serious blow) (football doesnt count i decided when i was a kid that i didn't care about football therefore its not real) & a friend of mine with whom i watched the world series was like no i've got you i can get you into hockey. i realize now she just wanted an excuse to proselytize about the new york islanders.

but anyway yeah!! i stuck with being fond of them because of her & then added the stars because as a Texan i had to root for them & also tyler seguin hooked me. i was a casual fan until there were absolutely No Sports in 2020 & i accidentally stumbled upon hockeyblr just in time to get hyper mega insane about hockey before the bubble playoffs.

2. Your first ever fandom friend

like any normal well adjusted person i feel weird calling someone my friend even if we're friendly because what if they don't actually like me (again this is normal & well adjusted behavior) that said tanya txstars was the first hashtag mutual i had in starsblr whomst i feel like i talked to via the tags!!

3. The jersey you would most like to own

wait have i ever mentioned that i own a mooterus jersey. it was like eighty dollars off depop because its a) womens cut & b) a size small which means that while it does technically fit, my tits stop it from looking like, you know, a jersey should look on the human body. so i'd love one that i can wear without feeling ridiculous!! through logan stankoven all things are possible!!! i'm generally a jersey thrifter so i do love the $16 tyler jersey i found but im sure one day ill bite the bullet and buy a non-secondhand otter jersey.

4. YOUR player (you only get ONE so choose wisely)

unfortunately goalies are inherently endearing & then on top of that he's also insane in the most confounding way possible so jake oettinger is My Guy whether he likes it or not

5. A pairing that deserves more fic

as someone who has written just over half of the robotter fic out there in the world: please put more robotter fic out there in the world. also i think robo & otter both deserve to fuck otter's goalie partner. also also it's not technically a pairing but i think we as a people need to embrace delly's clear & evident love for throuples and start sticking him in other peoples relationships. it's what he would want <3

6. Your favourite on-ice moment

jason robertson laying flat on his back on the ice after finishing his first career hat trick lives in my head rent free btw. if you even care. it just plays on a fucking loop up there. also the the dellymiro delly's first goal celly. also also that time those flames fans tried to actually curse jake midgame. like on the one hand what the fuck but on the other hand i actually admire that kind of dedication yk

THEN

link someone else's art/fic/etc that you love & think everyone should check out

i'm still foaming at the mouth over @txstars's rule 63 robotter fic!! also i think it's clear what robo ship i've dedicated myself to but everyone in the roboroope trenches is soooo impressive to me. i see the vision. @winningmachine's stats guy robo fic is a foundational text. thank you @starscelly for also giffing insane random things during games. there's so many other fun people in starsblr specifically & hockeyblr generally but see above re: being normal and well adjusted so You Know Who You Are & also I Love Your Work

AND

link something you made & are proud of & want people to see

my magnum opus ............ the robotter primer. linking anything else feels weird BUT please enjoy my unhinged labor of love. i saw someone mentioned it to that gay hockey tournament blog but didnt want to link it?? please link it places. put how unhinged i was/am about them on blast.

tagging @coffeehound91 @moregraceful @hintzy!!! & also idk who has and hasn't been tagged so if you see this & would like to do it please do & feel free to tag me as the person who tagged you because i am a certified nosy bitch & love seeing other people talk about themselves <3

[cchapsticck]

20 Questions for fic writers

@dreamwatch tagged me and I actually woke up with enough time to do things before I need to go into work

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

10 - Which is very surprising to me considering my reluctance to release anything beyond my google docs for many years.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

142,085 lord

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things (but Eddie Munson in specific honestly) primarily, but I've got some Baldur's Gate and Critical Role in the tubes right now too. The unifying theme here being I Am A Tremendous Nerd Who Likes DnD

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

UNTITLED RECORDING rcd ca. 1987-1988 in the #1 slot by a wide margin, followed by ANACRUSIS ca. 1987, head line, wait, runner, and sunflower broke.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I sincerely try to! I am bad at accepting compliments or feedback so I always feel like I'm giving these sort of boilerplate platitudes and thanks and I wish I could accurately capture me reading every comment about 15 times kicking my leg under my desk. I try to be loudly receptive to the feedback I get. People took the time to read and respond! They don't have to do that!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

At first when I was going to respond to this I thought to myself "I'm not sure I really have a lot of fics that end with angst- oh its dog." Its dog. Its dog at the door. Its absolutely dog at the door. I apparently forgot I wrote it, but its dog.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don't necessarily think of myself who writes things with uncomplicated, expressly happy endings. I think a lot of my work that does end hopefully ends with a kind of watery fragile kind of happy. That probably says something about me but maybe it doesn't. But, to answer the question properly, I think head line is probably the least complicated sense of happy.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not that I've been made aware of. I'm sure that my writing style and my takes on characters are not everyone's cup of tea, but that's just the mark of a healthy fandom ecosystem. I'm also not a very """""big""""" writer so ain't no one looking at me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have in the past, but I've never felt very confident in my writing when I do. I don't really feel like I can craft very erotic or romantic scenarios when it comes to physical expressions of sexuality, maybe its my writing style working against me or its just a generalized internal cringe @ me when I do. So these days I tend to skirt around it or speak more evocatively when necessary. I just feel like a total fucking goober when I start getting more direct and descriptive.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Always curious what constitutes as a crossover and what constitutes as an AU to some - ao3 tagging seems to muddy the waters for me. Because if you tag the source material for your AU it looks like a crossover but maybe you're simply using the world's logic but none of its characters? And that feels different to me than a strict crossover where characters from other titles are interacting with each other. Y'know? Instructions unclear wrote a DnD AU, one's mileage may vary if that's a crossover or not.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

That's a thing? I mean. I guess people translating without attribution or reposting fics on other platforms is a thing. I guess that's that. Huh.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Sort of? Not really? I definitely have played in the sandbox with @cwstau and their work, and have my own little toenail clipping a thing based on that work. I've done a little art here and there, and served as a sounding board, to a certain extent, in the formative stages of that fic's life but all of the heavy lifting is exclusively L's work. And while none of it will ever see the light of day I've also definitely theory crafted entire character dynamics and, sort of, speculative futures with friends in DMs. A lot of Yes And-ing each other about the threads we'll pull on.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Man don't ask me that. I'm all over the road, I'm in the wind. I'll be hard in the paint on one thing and then something old will reemerge on the breeze and I just go back to places I one dwelled and be insane there.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

lol any of them. Seriously, the fact that I have finished and published 10 things this year is a testament to. Something. I have no idea what. Something, because I have never been this kind of productive in many many moons and that productivity is a fickle thing that could leave just as soon as its arrived. My google docs is a graveyard of fics I've started and stopped and had grand plans for and mostly finished or entirely finished but never did anything with.

16. What are your writing strengths?

hahah bad at this question but I think I am good at research, when the fic in question demands it. I like to think I can synthesize that research into interesting things when the fic calls for it. I also think I can do cool things with character voice? At least, I always want to try to be interesting with that.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am very bad at drafting, which is to say I often don't and I get frustrated and discouraged when I can't articulate myself the way I want on the first pass - which is particularly sore spot for me when I always feel like I'm trying to do things very intentionally with character voice and interpretation. I never feel super confident with my dialogue either. I'll write internal monologues for several thousand words but the minute two characters need to have an honest to god conversation I forget how human speech works. I'm also just bad at being concise. I really struggle to just let things stand, it is very hard for me to do those "200 words" writing prompt challenges because I'll start on one concept and my brain branches into a million other places this could go with a lot of detail and intersecting relevance and it can be so so hard for me to kill my darlings.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think there's a due diligence required when writing for and in languages you, yourself, don't speak. Google translate isn't necessarily a viable solution to your multi-lingual needs, which I think everyone knows so its not like that's a bold stance. Seek out native speakers, ask for feedback, etc. When its my own work I try not to overly complicate the matter, if all parties in the fiction understand the language I'm going to keep writing in the language of the fic itself. There's a fandom I'm a part of that, in canon, uses German as a proxy language for a fantasy language - which is a language I am conversationally fluent in - and even then I find myself hesitant to just indulge in peppering in German words and phrases because that's just, in my experience, not how of multilingual people use language. Authenticity sort of matters in that regard, and there's a weird artificial presentational-ness to just jamming vocabulary words of other languages into dialogue or text that isn't justified by the character or the conversation itself. idk where I'm going with this.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Weeaboo past revealed: I'm pretty sure it was KHR but I cannot be sure anymore.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This fluctuates based on which one I'm less mad about when I think about it retrospect on any given day, but I think UNTITLED stands as a testament to me writing in long(ish) form, something I've never done before, and was where I really learned a lot about character voice and how to use it. There's plenty I think I'd change or edit now (honestly, was talking to a friend about making a director's cut of some of the chapters of the whole MH series) but it was a big undertaking and I met a lot of really excellent people through the writing and response to that particular fic.

No pressure tags for: @cwstau, @nameslikeguns, @greenlikethesea, @dodger-chan

[cliffdivingsblog]

Writer Asks

Thanks for the tag @myfavouritelunatic and @thrillofhope and @pursuitseternal and @demonscantgothere ❤️

1) How many works on AO3?

17

2) what’s your AO3 word count?

889,221

3) What fandoms do you write for?

Rings of Power and the Silmarillion at the moment

Some Star Wars Second Trilogy fics before that

4) what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I could be your King - (1,217) WIP, Saurondriel, Rings of Power AU, 160k, Rated E

I Found You - (233) WIP, Gingerrose, Star Wars ST Cottagecore AU, 66k, Rated E

A mirror so dark and enchanting - (212), Gingerrose, Reylo, Star Wars ST, Fix-It AU, 20k, Rated E

Burn - (176), Saurondriel, Silmarillon, Years of the Trees AU, 14k, Rated E, Part 3 of a Series

The Chieftain’s daughter - (162), Gingerrose, Star Wars ST AU, 16k, Rated M

5) Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I cherish every single one and always respond, even if it might take longer than planned.

6) What fic did you write with the angstiest ending?

I am unable to do really unhappy or tragic endings...even if I sometimes like to read them... Does not mean there is not a lot of angst in my fics. But they always end on a hopeful or happy note. The most angsty is probably Incinerate, my Melkor/Varda romance. But I am writing a sequel that will have a happy ending for them so not sure it counts.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

The Fuel to the fire series leaves Artanis and Mairon at a happy point at their relationship after part three of the series... there will be more to come though (and more drama 😂). All my finished Gingerrose fics have HEA’s as well.

8) do you get hate on fics?

Yes once. I wrote a Gingerrose DubCon story (well tagged) that got me my first and only hate comment.

9) do you write smut? If so, what kind?

YES! 😂 very varied. Sometimes more poetic, sometimes more kinky... I do have some T rated fics as well though. I am a sucker for tension, so expect a lot of build up.

10) crossovers?

Not so far.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Thankfully not.

12) have you had a fic translated?

No, don’t think so.

13) have you ever co-written a fic?

No, not officially, but I love brainstorming with my buddies Marimo and @pursuitseternal And I do a fluffy one-shot series with the wonderful Eastwynds set in the Incinerate Varda/Melkor verse.

And the insanely talented @marimosalad has done art based on scenes from my stories.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

SOOOO hard. But ...probably Zutara and Dramione because those ships brought me to fanfiction.

Honestly every I obsessed about every ETL ship known to mankind at some point. I love crack pairings as well though.

And honestly just the dark guy falling for a strong woman who brings him to his knees 😉

😂 I searched Sauron/Galadriel after the Hobbit movies...Feel so vindicated this turned from crack to canon!

15) what’s a Wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

All of my Gingerrose WIPs I fear. I just kind of fell out of love with the ship.

16) what are your writing strengths?

Descriptions. I am told very often my stories feel very epic and cinematic in scope.

I also love doing different POVs and giving each a distinct voice and feel.

17) what are your writing weaknesses?

Mmh, I am not a native speaker so I feel my dialogue could be smoother sometimes. 

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

Yes, but sparingly. I do hate it myself if I have to scroll somewhere to know what is said.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

Fanfiction.net days... lost the account though... perhaps better that way 😂

20) Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I could be your King is my grande epic and I love it to pieces. I am so excited to see it to its end even if I think it will be a year or two more.

That said Incinerate snuck its way into my heart... I hated Melkor before writing from his POV and now I can’t get enough from the dynamic with Varda and Manwë. This is also the one fic that gives me ideas for a original story I might write one day...

Tagging @coraleethroughthelookingglass@scriberated @eowyn7023 @klynnvakarian @jhalya @rebelrebelwrites @nenyabusiness

[vocaloidfactoftheday]

hello! so hypothetically if someone made a vocaloid art challenge prompt list (like a list of vocaloid songs to use as daily prompts) would it be alright to tag you for it to gain traction? for both the list and a submission form?

(when I say hypothetical I mean there is no list but me and a friend are discussing making one and the logistics lol)

short answer: no, sorry! please don't take any offense, i wish you good luck with your challenge! if you like, you can tag my main blog and i could reblog it there, though i honestly don't think it'd be very helpful either way.

long answer:

i want to avoid using this blog to promote things. which i know sounds hypocritical because i do use it to promote my own things sometimes, but this is just limited to 1. my vocaloid music (which i try to promote very sparingly to avoid spam) and 2. livestreams about vocaloid that i think this blog's followers would be interested in (which i've only done 2 of so far and i don't even remember if i promoted the second one lol...they were respectively "discussing every vocaloid voicebank" and "drawing vocaloids from memory"). once enough time has passed sometimes i'll delete my promos just to clean up the blog

there's a couple reasons for this:

i want to avoid too much irrelevant (i.e. not related to vocaloid facts) content on this blog. this is partially to avoid spam/clutter, which would be intrusive if someone just wants to scroll through to look at facts, but also because this will lessen the chances of the random button (which isn't visible on mobile, but it's on the blog's desktop theme) selecting an irrelevant post when its purpose is to show random facts.

i don't think there's that much of a point to it. promoting my own stuff (particularly the music) does get me a little attention on my youtube channel sometimes, but it realistically makes very little difference. i'm not sure anyone has actually found my music through this blog. this blog has over 1k followers and my youtube channel has under 500, and my subscriber count tends to stay stagnant for long periods of time. i can't imagine it would make much of a difference if i promoted your art challenge - the posts themselves might get more reblogs, but the actual amount of participants probably wouldn't increase very substantially.

i personally find it a bit awkward to promote stuff from people i don't know on this blog. or even from people i DO know, honestly. it just doesn't really fit on this blog. i'd be more okay with doing it from my main, but even then i don't typically promote things i don't pay attention to (like music i don't listen to, commissions from artists i don't follow) or participate in (though a vocaloid art challenge might be different - i don't think i'd participate because i'm a slow artist, but it'd at least be interesting to see the art that results from it)

this kinda loops back around to the "minimizing clutter/irrelevant posts" point - but this is a vocaloid trivia/fun facts blog. this is not a general vocaloid blog, i don't use this to share/post just anything vocaloid related (i do plenty of that on main). if i use up all the vocaloid facts, maybe this will change, but i currently have no desire to stray from this blog's purpose.

sorry for the long response! i hope this doesn't come off as a rant or anything, the main reason i'm posting this publicly is in case other people have similar questions/requests in the future. i appreciate you asking!

[kazoosandfannypacks]

"Open to Interpretation" by kazoosandfannypacks

Chapter 5/16: Perks of Being a VIP Pairing: CaptainSwan Rating: General Word Count: (1.8K/24K) Summary: Emma Swan is appalled at works by modern artist Killian Jones- until a handsome stranger convinces her otherwise- and after introducing himself as the artist in question, he invites her out on a date. As their relationship develops, they find that they might not be as different from each other as originally thought. Chapter Summary: Emma and Killian arrive at the dinner and mingle with some of the guests Tags: au, fluff, captain swan, modern au Author's notes: A lot of my fics are third person limited perspective, and my chapters often jump back and forth between whose limited perspective we're looking at in each section. As you read this fic, you may notice that my chapters themselves take turns with the perspective- Emma's perspective in chapter 1, Killian's in chapter 2, Emma's in chapter 3, ext. This was an intentional decision and challenge on my part, and I thought it felt a little more polished that way- but it also means that I've often spread spans of a few hours in the fic across multiple chapters. Taglist: @zahara @kmomof4 @jonesfandomfanatic @booksteaandtoomuchtv @jrob64 @tiganasummertree @anmylica @teamhook @undercaffinatednightmare @gingerchangeling @lonelyspectator @caught-in-the-filter @ultraluckycatnd @cs-rylie @pirateprincessofpizza [if you'd like to be added to or removed from this list, hmu in my dms or askbox!]

Also on Ao3!

 "Let me get the door for you," Killian said as he parked the car outside the museum.

 "He doesn't have to do that," Emma thought, though she wasn't about to stop him.

 Her door opened, and he held out a hand to help her out of the car.

 "This is certainly a better parking spot than I got the other day," Emma took his hand and got out of the car.

 "Perks of being a V.I.P.," Killian said, holding up his lanyard badge. He then stuck his elbow out to her, and she tucked her arm around it and entered the museum on his arm.

 "Now remember," he leaned towards her and said, "a lot of the people here are gonna be pretentious little snobs- and most of them won't take a shine to your criticism like I did."

 "I'll be diplomatic," Emma nodded.

 "I'd appreciate that," he said.

 They walked down brightly lit hallways to the museum's reception hall, Killian once or twice pointing out some painting they passed by and some bit of trivia he knew about the art, or about its artist or the story behind the piece.

 "Do they have you as a tour guide as well in your spare time?" Emma teased.

 "Sometimes when I need inspiration I roam the hallways looking for it," Killian said, "hoping that something I'll see will inspire me- and it is part of the job to be a bit familiar with the rest of the pieces in the museum as well."

 Emma nodded, "What else does an artist in residence even do?"

 "Promote different events the museum is hosting," he said, "hang out around the galleries in my free time- something about the chance to meet the artist often draws people in. And, most notably, I'm to work on a mural for the museum."

 "And what do you get out of that deal?" "They pay for room and board," he said, "not to mention a few extra grand a month for other expenses, access to whatever supplies I find myself needing for their commissioned painting- and, of course, an extra boost in publicity and the chance to add 'artist in residence' to my portfolio and resume."

 "So let me get this straight," Emma asked, "you get paid to do what you love and the museum gets publicity because they're letting you freeload?"

 He nodded and smiled, "an artist's life is one to love."

 "Imagine what I could do with a setup like that," Emma thought. Though she loved art, she seldom had the time and energy to sit down and paint something while still working forty hours a week and keeping up with housework and her other hobbies. Sure, she didn't ever consider going professional with her art, but she wouldn't mind getting paid to sit around painting whenever the muse struck her. As it stood, she'd scarcely had time to make headway on the painting she'd started a few days ago.

 Once they got to the reception hall, Emma noticed that quite a few people had already arrived, and Killian began introducing himself and Emma to each of them, following a pretty simple formula: introducing themselves, mentioning how great it was to meet them, and some comments about the other's line of work peppered with dry humor, before an "excuse me, I need to go welcome this person over here."

 Emma met more self-proclaimed "important" people in twenty five minutes than she'd ever met in her life. Mayor Mills was there, along with her business tycoon mother (who Emma was pretty sure helped buy her her votes,) and the elder Mills daughter who was working hard to learn to fill her mother's shoes. Multi-millionaire Adam Gold was also in attendance, along with his associates, Madame Deville and her husband. Among the snobbery as well were a few prestigious doctors, a couple different artists, many of whom Killian seemed to know well, and a few other notable creative minds. Of course, in attendance as well was the curators of the museum, Mr. and Mrs. Nolan- a rather charming couple.

 "You're quite the natural," Killian whispered to Emma as they walked away from their twelfth snobbish conversation, this time with Emma interjecting a few clever but tasteful comments of her own.

 "I'm learning from the best," Emma smiled.

 "Well, don't worry," Killian said, "the next people I introduce you to will be much more charming- Mr. Booth is one of few individuals who make fundraisers like these bearable."

 He introduced Emma next to a couple that seemed a bit younger than most of the other attendees, much closer in age to Emma and Killian.

 "Mr. Booth," Killian held his hand out to the other man.

 "Always a pleasure to see you, Mr. Jones."

 Both men seemed to hold a secret in their eyes, a secret which then turned into a sparkle, then a smile, then a laugh.

 "August and I go way back," Killian explained to Emma.

 "August Booth?" Emma asked, "as in, the author August Booth?" "You're familiar with my works?" he asked.

 "Indeed," Emma said, "I deeply enjoyed your Revolutionary Fairy Tales  series."

 "I'm flattered." August said, "and you are?"

 "Emma Swan," she shook his hand, "pleasure to meet someone interesting for a change."

 August smiled and addressed Killian, "I like her boldness."

 "As do I," Killian said, looking down at Emma and smiling, "we met in my wing of the gallery a couple days ago. Miss Swan was in the middle of insulting some of my masterpieces. I believe the exact words she used were…."

 "'If absurdism and modern art had a child in a soulless void?'" Emma offered.

 "Ah yes," Killian smiled, "and then something about being tasteless with nothing to communicate."

 "But then someone happened along and showed me a new way to look at it," Emma smiled and nudged Killian a little.

 "And I figured if there was anyone I could trust to keep me awake through another one of these dinners, it would be her."

 "How lovely," the woman standing next to August said.

 "Where are my manners?" August asked, "Emma, this is my fiancee, Belle."

 "It's a pleasure to meet you," Emma said.

 "And you as well," Belle said, "I take it this is your first date together?'

 "Yeah," Emma smiled.

 "And you brought her here?" August asked Killian, seeming almost appalled, "do you want to lose her that quickly?"

 "It's a stroke of genius, really," Killian said, "we start with the worst date I can imagine, and then her expectations are so low that the next date seems eight times better."

 "And a second chance dinner's on him next week if tonight goes terribly," Emma smiled, "though so far- especially by the graces of present company- it seems to be going pretty well."

 "Well, I hope we don't change your mind," August said.

 August paused, then turned to Killian, "Unless you're rooting on it going terribly, so you can get a guaranteed second date," he faked a gasp and pretended to be offended, "is that why you introduced her to us? Hoping our raging intellectualism would bore her to death?"

 "Quite the opposite," Killian said, "I was hoping your charming personality and clever wit would make up where mine lack."

 "Some pretty big shoes to fill there," August said, "but I think we can make it work."

 Killian motioned to a nearby table. Each table setting had a name card at it, and Emma quickly noticed Killian's, her own name set next to that, followed by August's, then Belle's.

 "V.I.P. table," Killian said, "it pays to be the artist in residence- and friends."

 He pulled out Emma's seat for her, and she blushed a little as she sat down and he pushed her chair back in. August did the same for Belle.

 "What makes the V.I.P. table better than the others?" Emma asked.

 "Closest to the stage," August said, as he sat down.

 "And closest to the kitchen," Belle peeked around August at Emma, "so they bring our food out sooner."

 "I'm down for that," Emma said.

 "Best part of the evening," August said.

 "Ah yes," Killian said, leaning on the back of his chair, "because the donations to the Humbert Cardiovascular Fund don't matter nearly as much as if our dinner is brought to us three minutes before anyone else's."

 August didn't respond, and neither did Emma, or Belle, or even Killian.

 After a brief moment, Killian excused himself. Soon, the lighting in the room dimmed a little, and the rest of the seats at the table were soon filled- Mr. and Mrs. Nolan took the seats next to Killian's, and Doctor Whale and his wife next to them.

 "I wonder where Killian went," Emma thought, noting that everyone else was already in their seats and things were about to begin, "this benefit dinner seemed to be pretty important to him."

 She then noticed someone stepping onto the stage, and after a moment realized it was Killian, who took a microphone off a nearby stand.

 "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," he said, "I want to thank all of you for coming out here tonight. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Killian Jones, current artist in residence here at the Nolan Blanchard. For those of you who do know me, I'm terribly sorry."

 Everyone laughed, even Emma, who was still trying to piece together what was going on.

 "After dinner's been served," Killian said, "the curators and I will give a brief word about the Humbert fund that the proceeds from tonight are going to. Until then, allow me to introduce to you tonight's entertainment- Leroy and the Lucky Seven."

 Everyone clapped as Killian stepped down from the stage and the band entered from the side wings. Emma didn't take her eyes off Killian though, even noting how he tripped a little as he stepped off the stage.

 Once he took his seat next to Emma, she placed her hand on his shoulder, then spoke into his ear in a hushed tone.

 "You didn't tell me you were hosting this event."

 He turned a little to whisper in her ear. "Hosting, promoting, it's all the same, really."

 "You also didn't tell me you were promoting it."

 "I didn't think it was 'relevant to the discussion.'" he teased, then twisted away from her a little so he could look her in the eyes, "had I realized it would bother you…."

 The band started playing as their eyes met again, something simple and dramatic in both, like the start of falling in love.

 "It doesn't." Emma smiled, "I like a little mystery."

 "Alright then, Sherlock," he said, playfully tapping her nose.

 She smiled and rolled her eyes, then moved her hand off his shoulder, reminding herself where they were, that she was helping him represent the museum tonight, and they couldn't do that if they just sat there ogling over each other all evening. They needed to act professional and maintain some dignified conversation with someone other than each other.

[transmandrake]

Feel like talking about art... I worry a lot that I've passed some kind of 'peak' in my art, not per se skillwise but productivity wise.

'I made a 65 page full colour full shading comic chapter and had it printed! Oh my god, I could never do that now', I think. But thankfully in this age I've seen this exact thing happen to so many artists slightly older than me... intense productivity in school, sudden drop in early 20's, figure shit out in late 20's. It makes sense, art was basically the only thing keeping me together for many of those productive years, and I was miserable.

And now, yeah, I'm back in a high stress environment, but this time I'm managing my own progress and am doing things I want to do on some level, that aren't art. Is it any wonder people go on massive hiatuses when theres no longer One Thing they want to do?

And well also. The classic. It is bonkers the amount of people I grew up admiring who crashed and burned in college and then get diagnosed with, well usually several things but especially ADHD. I'd like to think I'm "learning from other's """pitfalls"""" by nipping that revelation in the bud early (healthcare system tho... pls gimme anything... an appointment, maybe...) but I've been ruminating a long time on art advice and life advice and a lot of the time it's not possible to 'skip' on doing the 'wrong' thing.

So much art advice is like 'man i wish i learned anatomy or x thing when I was younger, so much time wasted' and yes it seems true in hindsight, learning anatomy is pivotal to my current art... but I think I had to *get* to a point art and well growing up wise where that was even something I could fully comprehend. Theres lots of things where, yeah, I'm sure sitting 12 year old me down and getting them excited about Bones and Muscles wasn't *impossible*, but there was like 100 mini lessons that have no names I had to learn first. It's like, a skill tree in a video game. You have to learn fireball I and II before great fireball IV or whatever. It's easy to say man, why didn't I learn Hard Thing sooner, I would have been so much better by now, when in order to be able for Hard Thing you had to learn all the smaller easier things it leads to. Going straight for the big guns isn't impossible, but you'll end up having to go backwards at some point. In fact I feel like that's what's happening to me now!

I'm like, why is my art shit conpared to a few years ago, why am I half-assing everything, and you know what I spent 5 years only doing full colour full shading stuff because that was The Inevitable Artistic Conclusion and doing Less would be Wasting My Time! And I think that was the right choice actually. *Because* it made me learn that thought process wasn't true.

Also ummm FFAK by kosmicdream who I am sheepishly not tagging basically rewrote my brain? A 6000+ and not even half finished comic drawn with maximum speed and not sweating the details? And its great? And at no point did I think the story was worse off for not being polished to 100% 'completion'? Preposterous!

Well, not really. Loads of comics are like that. I knew I didn't want to be like them. But hm, its a conscious choice now rather than a feeling of shame at not completing things. The reassurance that, it's okay to not finish things, and it's okay to do less in order to finish things. Balance. FFAK just really punched that lesson into my skull rather than the light jabs of comics I'd loved before. I can count the comics I read as a kid that actually *finished* on like, two hands max. I reevaluated, what do I want to be, perfect incompletion or finished imperfection. And chose both and neither because I'm a vile little contrarian.

Am I going to finish my comic? Finished doesn't exist, so no. Does that mean my tedious perfection is justified as long as the unfinished work is what I envisioned? Also no, because I am not the same person I was when I stopped lifting the pen and my idea of perfection is also always just out of reach. Also it's. A story. I want to tell it. Not look at it.

Like, just... do what you want. What you want will change, you can't put a box around it. But also develop discipline, because that box helps. It's always breaking and expanding and shrinking but the box has to be there. You have to try. But you won't succeed. And that's okay, because that's not the goal. It's a dance, not a house.

You might want to build a place to dance easier but you've gotta dance. And you suck at dancing but you love it. And if you don't love ot anymore, go work on the house until you want to again, and you'll think, why am I building this goddamn house instead of dancing, and you'll keep forgetting that the house exists to dance in. Then someday you come back off the scaffolding and realise, woah, holy shit, dancing here is going to be so much better.

And you think, why didn't I make the house like this in the first place? Well, because you only started building the house when you didn't want to dance, imagine if you made the house perfect, and then stopped liking dancing? Well you'd be me, you'd knock that house down, and you'd rebuild it all shit, because you didn't need the house to dance, you needed the process of building it. You can make that perfect house all the time, but you can only make a shit house once. No matter how you try, you're gonna figure out why the house is shit, and make it better.

And you'll say, why didn't I make this first before! I'm learning so much! And you'll remember why, it's because everyone said 'man, don't make a house like I made it. Look at my new house, its so much better, do that! I wasted so much time on the shit house!' But they didnt. They learned. You made their perfect house with no understanding of why it was perfect. You had to break it, to rebuild it, to retrace the steps, to learn.