#doesn't matter if he is actually trying to be sincere most people will double and triple think what he says and misjudge/misread entirely | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tolkien-feels · 2 years

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Hi hi omg I saw you say in a comment that you are one of the 3 people who likes Daeron (thank you for revealing yourself), I am also one of those 3 people. And I know at least 4 others so that's 6! Double!

Since your takes and headcanons are amazing can you please talk about him?

Oh there are so many of us!!! 🥺 (Also thank you for your nice words omg this ask has so much serotonin!)

Okay, so I prefer Daeron as Luthien's brother not because I'm opposed to his being in love with her, but because I adore the idea of Daeron taking after Thingol in many ways, and being less beloved for the damning character flaw of not being Melian 2.0 like his sister. But I'll ignore that and focus on the published Silm, because that is also a very good story in a completely different way.

There's something incredibly... pure? is maybe the right word,,,, about Daeron. I can name several cases in Tolkien where a man is in love with a woman who doesn't love him back, but I can think of no other where the woman actually thinks "Of every person I know, this is who I trust most when I need help." And Luthien isn't wrong to trust him? Other than denying her agency, which is admittedly a horrible thing to do, I have a hard time condemning Daeron? I don't know that I would want anyone I love marching straight to the Dark Lord for a person who is going to die anyway, be it in a few minutes or in a few years. Hell, Beren also doesn't Luthien to leave Doriath, he just underestimates her stubbornness and courage, which is not very surprising - between Daeron and Beren, the one who's known Luthien all her life is Daeron, after all.

The thing for me is that Daeron is out there being the best minstrel ever and a loremaster and a linguist and well-regarded in the fairest realm of Beleriand and Luthien's closest friend. This is definitely an uncommonly talented and socially powerful elf. If he had to """fall""", you'd expect it to be out of pride or something of that sort - we've read that story a thousand times in the Silm by the time Daeron becomes important. But his fall is actually a matter of either heartbreak or fearing for Luthien's fate.

I wouldn't even say Daeron falls as much as he... makes mistakes? I don't get the vibe of him having ruined any lives besides his own, and even that is debatable - after Beren comes into the picture, is there a possible happy ending Daeron can get? Maybe if he died for Luthien's sake he might have been happy-ish in Valinor, but that's pretty much it. (Here's a fun little au to ponder: Sauron vs Daeron)

The story very much identifies itself with Luthien, so Daeron comes across as a jealous, untrustworthy, controlling Nice Guy™️ but the couple of things he does in this one story shouldn't overshadow the centuries of him being, as far as we can tell, a genuinely great guy. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not an apologist, I don't take betrayal lightly, but for me that's what's interesting. A lot of Silm character tend to come in the flavors Basically Very Good and Basically Very Bad, with a few You're Doing Your Best But Things Aren't Looking Too Good. I literally don't know where Daeron fits into this. I try to find other characters who are remarkably good, mess up for ONE (01) story and then immediately regret everything and lament forever, and I just can't? Daeron speedruns Maglor's character arc, which is bizarre because Maglor's arc is all about living on and on and on.

I also think it's very telling that Tolkien says he wanders seeking Luthien "in despair." Is it just me who finds that a surprising word choice? He's not angry or bitter or even in pain, he's in despair. Even for an elf in unrequited love, that's pretty intense. It doesn't sound at all to me like we're meant to treat Daeron being in love as a mistake on his part, or as possessiveness. It sounds pretty legitimate, imho? Like I keep saying, for all that he's immortalized as the embodiment of betrayal, Daeron seems pretty damn sincere.

And finally, it isn't really connected to what I was saying but I find this pretty neat

Then she would become mortal, land subject to a second death, even as he; and ere long she would leave the world for ever, and her beauty become only a memory in song.

But seeking for Lúthien in despair he wandered upon strange paths, and passing over the mountains he came into the East of Middle-earth, where for many ages he made lament beside dark waters for Lúthien, daughter of Thingol, most beautiful of all living things.

I get so emotional thinking about how Daeron ultimately lives out the rest of his days offering Luthien one of the few things Beren can't give her, one of the few things that can make the loss of eternity less bitter. And!!! Daeron does that unseen by Luthien. Because she is with Beren. Which is exactly how this entire story began. Like, the parallels, I'm going to s c r e a m.

#does this post even make any sense? i don't know but if it doesn't just imagine me hugging daeron and crying and you'll get the idea #also as an utterly irrelevant aside #daeron is such a pretty name #the sounds flow well idk

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miyaren · 2 years

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synopsis: when Y/n bashes and complains about her new job to the handsome stranger she met at a coffee shop, she doesn't expect for him to be her new boss. And after that, she doesn't expect for the two of them to get along so well, but they do, even when she comes to wish they wouldn't.

series masterlist

wc: 1.5k

a/n: this one goes out to my fellow attention whores who would drink black coffee if people gawked the right way

and if you see a typo, no you actually didn't, you're crazy.

Chapter 1:

Y/n was sure no attempts on her part could make her feel put together. On the inside, she was severely splintered and cracked, and she desperately hoped her outside didn’t match.

She was stable like a house of cards, stood in her favorite cafe waiting for coffee. The cafe was bustling and while Y/n felt she couldn’t be consoled, the smell of fresh grounds had a way of comforting her. But her index finger began to pick at the skin of her thumb, she was about ready to leave. And if the clouds outside were any indication, she needed to leave like, right now. As Y/n heard her order called out, rain began to fall.

Shit.

“Grande black mocha!”

She squeezed between various people and miscellaneous furniture. Housecog was just like that. It was big enough to hold a highschool reunion maybe, but you wouldn’t ever be able to tell just because of how the furniture was arranged. At the counter, she could see her drink waiting to be picked up. She reached for it at the same time another hand did.

Y/n pulled back like she had been burned before she raised her gaze to see the culprit. Her eyes met a chest and it was a nice chest, but she couldn’t hold a conversation with a chest no matter how chiseled. Not in a coffee house anway.

With pursed lips, she craned your head back ever so slightly to see the person trying to rob her of her precious coffee. At first glance, she established that he was handsome and maybe he should steal her coffee if he so pleased.

He mirrored her own expression- not exactly accusatory- but a healthy dose of that’s my coffee, that’s not your coffee. But god, was he handsome. He wore a business suit that fit him well, he could be a model rather than an office worker.

And beneath his clothes. She could just tell he was built.

Y/n became painfully aware of her own appearance. Her clothes, those didn’t really matter. It was business attire: a pencil skirt and blouse; and she was sure they were wearing her anyway. It was her face she was worried about. No amount of cold spoons could make the swelling in her eyes go down. Now here she was, in front of this beautiful stranger looking like a newborn pug.

Beautiful stranger smiled at her regardless and her eyes zeroed in on the dimple that appeared in his left cheek when he did. “I think that might be my order.” He pointed at the cup, which was starting to look lonely sitting unclaimed on the counter.

She wanted to tell him, of course it must be, my apologies my lord. In her heart though she knew it couldn’t be his (and he most likely was not a lord).

She made a noise of acknowledgement, “Oh. Well, it is a black coffee but it actually has a pump of mocha. I think your black coffee might still be on the way.”

There were only so many ways he could respond, she figured it would end with him bashfully agreeing and they would both move on with their lives- different coffee orders, opposite trajectories.

He surprised her. Again he smiled, but right away Y/n could tell this wasn’t the same. It was less mechanical, more sincere. “No way you order your black coffee with mocha. Everyone tells me it's weird and I should just order a mocha.”

“I’ve been defending my coffee order for half my life. It's nice to find someone with taste.” Without meaning to Y/n grinned back, a smile that quickly doubled in size.

“I agree,” he says in a lighthearted adamant way, “But I think you're right and that is yours. I get mine-”

“Black mocha with three pumps”

Her eyebrows raised in understanding as he grabbed his coffee and finally, she grabbed hers.

“Not one but three pumps? Maybe everyone was right?” It fell from her lips before she could process the thought.

Luckily, his soft laughter rang clear in her ears and she watched as he ran a hand through his blonde hair. It wasn’t a natural blond, she was pretty sure it was a box dye job. Still, it seemed just the right color on him.

“It was nice meeting you.” He raised his cup and waited until Y/n gingerly knocked her own against it.

“Likewise.” And she turned her back on him, heading for the door.

Again, she navigated Housecog and its groups of teenagers, stoic businessmen, and poorly placed coffee tables. When she got to the door to leave, it was being held open for her. She did the same routine as before: familiar chest, familiar face. Y/n didn’t want to start up the polite small talk again, she simply wanted to return to the shitty day she was bound to have. With a nod of gratitude, she stepped outside.

The roaring downpour was impossible to miss, there was no way she would be able to go anywhere. She stood under Housecog’s red-orange awning, her index finger found her thumb. Really there was no solution. Y/n could wait for the rain to let up and be late on her first day or she could run to the station in the rain and show up to the office with wet hair and a see-through blouse.

Someone cleared their throat and she was taken out of her thoughts instantly, she had been day dreaming in front of Beautiful Stranger. On another day, her cheeks may have heated up but she was too upset to even muster up embarrassment today.

He cleared his throat again. “You don’t have an umbrella?”

Naturally she thought it was a stupid question with a clear answer.

But he was too handsome to be rude to, “Yeah. I was in a rush and didn’t read the forecast. I’ll probably miss my train too because it doesn’t seem to be letting up anytime soon.”

He frowned as he shook his own umbrella open, “C’mon. I’m headed to the station too. We can share mine.”

Y/n wasn’t in any position to reject such a perfect offer but still she tried. Briefly, she wondered if it was a manners thing or if it was because this man made her nervous- in a good way. Her mouth opened to protest, “I couldn’t-”

“You could. We just bonded in the cafe, c’mon.”

Her brow quirked, “We bonded?”

“We both have the same shit taste in coffee. This way you won’t miss yer train.” He nodded his head toward his umbrella and Y/n moved to join him.

“Let me know if you’re getting wet ok?”

“Ok.”

Together, they began to walk and every so often Y/n felt a drop of water graze her face. It wasn’t hard to keep pace with him and she suspected he might be walking slow for her sake. The rain fell to the pavement beside them in hard pitter patter keyboard sounds, but all Y/n could really hear was the silence between them.

Small talk was bad but the silence was worse. It made her stomach do somersaults. So she told him her name.

He smiled down at her, “Im Atsumu.”

“How long have you been drinking black coffee, Atsumu?”

“Maybe…hmm. I think I started in college. I didn’t even like drinking it, but I really liked the reactions I got from people when I told them what I was drinking.”

“And the chocolate?”

He exhaled a puff of air through his nose, “I liked the attention but I hated the coffee. So secretly I started adding the mocha.” he paused when he saw Y/n holding in laughter, “I know. Ya must think it’s stupid.”

She shook her head furiously as she laughed, “No I know exactly why you did it. I think I took up smoking cigarettes for the same reason. I really liked stepping out for a smoke. I thought it might have made me seem a little mysterious.”

The umbrella’s handle trembled in Atsumu’s hand as he snickered, “I think ya might be as stupid as me. But smoking does kill so maybe yer stupider.”

“One, stupider is not a word. Two, I quit after a month. I got too dizzy when I smoked. And three, it was stupid but i did look hot whenever I took a drag of a cigarette.”

“I bet ya did.” Both their gazes lingered for a second too long, “Um, how fast can ya walk with those stubby legs?We gotta hurry if we’re going to catch those trains.”

“Im [your height], not a gnome.” She glared at him as they began to pick up the pace.

But really, they didn’t go much faster because they continued to trade stories as they made their way to the train station.

>>>next chapter

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu atsumu #atsumu x reader #haikyuu fic #atsumu angst #haikyuu angst #haikyuu long fic #atsumu long fic #haikyuu drabbles #atsumu drabble #haikyuu headcanons #atsumu headcanons #hq angst #miya atsumu #atsumu fluff #hq atsumu #atsumu fanfic

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princeescaluswords · 3 years

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Somewhat strange of a comment, but; every time I see someone promoting the positives of tumblr over other ‘social media’ sites, they say we don’t have influencers and I laugh. Because… well, not in the same way as others but… c’mon. We always have Head of Fandoms, and they have a lot of parallel issues with more traditional influencers. Not identical, of course, but still needs said.

Your comment isn't strange. It provides insight.

There is a powerful similarity between the most negative aspects of Internet Influencers and the negative aspects Heads of Fandom, or as I refer to them as BNF when it comes to fandoms.

The primary one for me is that both are insincere.

The public at large has realized this about certain unscrupulous Internet Influencers. We suspect that their positions and conclusions are determined by whichever product gives them the most money or whichever gets them the most clicks. We've seen the unprincipled embrace the most offensive movements because those movements bring them followers. The goal of their popularity is ... profit.

The insincerity of BNF is different. Most of them whom I have encountered do not pursue their activities for profit (I'm not sure that there is a way for a BNF to profit) and most of them aren't in it for popularity, because fandom is very much niche-oriented. Instead, they have an agenda.

I've witnessed them present themselves as explainers of what is going on in a show, as those who reveal the Easter eggs, the secret symbols, the hidden meanings. I love reading stuff like that, but I have to work to tell the difference between those who are trying to push an agenda and those who are actually trying to help their followers enjoy the show more.

For me, sincerity is easy to spot. Those who truly use meta to explore the show can admit they were wrong, and these people simply cannot. They're not interested in saying "well, obviously, it turns out that wasn't going to happen." Instead, they double down in their interpretations in light of contradictory evidence and stretch things farther and farther in order to keep their agenda intact.

From my own fandom of Teen Wolf, here are some theories that were written as obviously foreshadowed which turned out to not be true at all.

There was no mirror verse

Stiles was not the final sacrifice, the true leader, or the real lynchpin of the story

There was no Schism based on differing philosophies

Stiles (save for his brief possession) was not something

Scott was not Anakin Skywalker, the final big bad

Deaton was not the secret source of all evil

Beacon Hills does not belong to the Hales

All these theories were expounded upon with the trappings of convince yet scant evidence, but the predictions were made. And yet, when they didn't come true, the BNF never admitted that they had been wrong. Instead, suddenly the entire show became Scott's unreliable narration, or Jeff Davis was held at gunpoint until he changed his writing, or MTV somehow didn't want popular characters to have a greater role, or something else equally unlikely. They were never simply wrong.

And that obvious contradiction doesn't matter to them because it was never about exploring the mysteries of the show or enhancing the experience of other viewers in the first place. It was about pushing their agenda.

In the Teen Wolf fandom's case, it was about convincing everyone that the show should be about white men.

You can tell that by what doesn't exist. I've never read any in-depth meta from any of these BNF explaining why the text of the show was presented in the way that it was. For example, if we're supposed to grow suspicious of Alan Deaton after season 1, why doesn't any character ever look into his past? Why isn't there a single scene where his motivations are hinted at? And if it's only in the present in the t-shirt colors and posters on the wall, why isn't there a consistent agreement among the BNF as to what it could be?

Because the goal of the meta wasn't exploration -- it was promotion. Among those pushing the Pro-White-Male-Millionaire-Serial-Killer Agenda, Peter Hale couldn't be the bad guy the show repeatedly laid out that he was, indeed, "a ruthless con man who always has a devious plan to hurt everyone around him" (The fact that the show had to come out and lampshade that directly never ceases to amuse me.), it had to be someone else's fault, and as Deaton didn't fit their agenda on the centering of white men, he was a target of opportunity. It didn't matter that the only time Deaton interfered with Peter was to protect the lead protagonist and tell Derek that Peter would be weakened by his resurrection ritual and not to trust him. It was something they could use to promote their agenda.

The problem, of course, is much like the way Influencers are hired to push certain products regardless of ethical considerations, BNF push agendas regardless of ethical considerations. Both of them rely on their audiences 'voluntary participation' to justify these actions.

It's the same process put to different ends.

#teen wolf fandom problems #fandom problems #fandom racism

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dreamiesdotcom · 4 years

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perhaps, Cupid | nct dream

Summary: You lay down in your bed, watch 13 change to 14 as the clock passes 11:59. You close your eyes, sigh, and hope that the world stops at 12:00 before promptly deciding that Valentine's Day is cancelled.

word count: 2.3k

moon's note: idk why but i usually give gifts during occasions... and out of random... but since its v-day and i caNT give y'all any gifts because idk which part of the world you lovelies are at, so maybe you can please have 2322 words of my nonsense? I tried

When Lee Jeno, the infamous Na Jaemin's best friend, walked inside the room to the dance club's meeting room with all sheepish 'Hello's and eye-smiles, you underestimated just how much havoc he could bring into your life. He seemed way too soft for his own good like he had no mischief under his sleeve — the exact reason why when he poked your sides to get your attention and asked you if you'd "help the dumb kids get together", you were more thrilled than concerned.

Right now, you think you should've agreed with Renjun and said 'that's a bad idea'.

Donghyuck, Jaemin's dormmate, wasn't even there when you planned things out, but well, you blame him. Jaemin bitterly staring at Jisung as the younger gets cuddled by Chenle? Hyuck's fault. Jisung blushing incomprehensible whenever it's Jaemin's turn to dance? Hyuck's fault. It's been days and resident sweet boy absolutely makes no move to court Jisung? Hyuck's fault as well.

"This pining is painful to watch," even Renjun can't help but point out even if he didn't even agree to the plan. Jeno sends you a victorious smile. "Jaemin, he's crushing hard on you."

"Yes, but what if he doesn't like me because—" you don't even get to clearly hear his reasons. You shake your head. Jeno's smile falters.

Jaemin sulks a lot about Jisung spending more time with Renjun than he does with Chenle, and asks the other if Jisung has a crush on him. Renjun groans in loathing, asks him to just go and make a move and repeats the same speech for days. Days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months, and absolutely nothing happens.

Oh, well, maybe something did. Maybe along the way, you realized that Lee Jeno is one hell of an attractive man.

"Heaven's, Jeno, stop it! Stop pushing me to the side, I can't see what they're doing!"

"They're reading a book for the subject Jisung's tutoring Jaemin in."

"It's a library. Aren't you just inquisitive? That's why they're here. Now let me see!"

"Y/N!"

"Jeno!" you hiss back, still whisper-yelling turning to decently state at him only to find that he's already looking at you. You tilt away in shock, "Flippity pancakes, distance!"

You see, when you start matchmaking, the goal is to get people together — definitely not fall in love with your partner in crime.

"Just say fuck, no one would kill you," he hisses back. The same whining tone is there as he peeks on the other table, "Saying 'flippity pancakes' in a weird accent doesn't wash away your intentions, so just say it already."

"No."

"I dare you."

"No!"

"I double-dare you."

"Jeno."

"Y/N."

"No."

"Do it," he huffs,"Say 'fuck'."

The way he mouths it as if teaching a child to say their first words make you burst out laughing, and for the rest of the day, you forget the mission and get lost into playing games of your own in the library, muffled hums and all. Renjun decides that he's not gonna get any studying done at this table and waves you both goodbye, and you watch as Jeno smiles at him, an expression worthy to compare to that of a luminous star.

And oh, you're in love.

It wasn't all your fault, though. Jeno was way too pretty, too lovely to not fall for. It just so happens that like the fate of you and all things beautiful, you don't deserve him.

You don't deserve him, so he never gets to know.

###

"Be my date for Valentine's day?"

"Hell no."

Apparently, his family has this little gathering that coincidentally matched that time, and he stubbornly refuses to go alone. Why you ask? No reason. He just doesn't want to 'go alone and be forced to socialize with mean cousins' and you spent most of the time teasing about how he's probably one of the mean kids in his family. The rest of the bus ride on the way to school remains silent aside from the neverending proposals and bribings — "I'll treat you candy for one month! I'll do whatever you say for three months! I'll even do your assignments!"

It would be a lie to say it's not tempting, but oh, isn't this just the perfect opportunity to ask Jisung out? The enthusiasm in Jeno's eyes matches yours, and the answer is obvious here: Exactly.

For a whole different reason, the bus ride home is silent too. You sit side by side in pure quiet, Jaemin tugging at your sleeves every now and then to gain your attention. You brush him off, keeping your head against the glass with your eyes closed. You don't speak even after getting inside his apartment and the indifference makes Donghyuck pause halfway his concerned nagging, deciding to usher Renjun and Jeno out with such lame excuse of buying ingredients for dinner.

You go straight to their bathroom to get some supplies, and Jaemin sits on the couch, antsy. He silently curses Donghyuck for leaving, Huang Renjun and Lee Jeno too, those traitors. You sit in front of him, doing your stuff without making eye contact.

"Please talk to me—"

"Shut up."

A dejected whimper leaves his lips, and you quite possibly break. You sigh as if to calm down, and you mutter a warning: "Don't."

"But why aren't you talking to me?"

Why... why would you even ask that?

"You promised me, Jaemin. You made a promise to me." you coldly say, dainty fingers pressing cotton against the cut in his lip. "You promised me that you'll stop getting into fights."

Realization seems to flash in his eyes. He seems torn between reasoning and apologizing, but first, he chases after the hand you pulled away from him. You shrug him off harshly this time.

"I did, for the longest time, you saw that! But he called Jisung a—" he looks at you with betrayed eyes, as if a kicked puppy. He never liked that tone. He never liked how distant that felt coming from you, so tears brim his eyes. "Don't be so cold to me..."

"Jisung let him be. Isn't that enough hint that it's not worth it?" your tone remains the same. The fear in your chest remains stubborn, and no matter how many times he squeezes the hand he's holding, it doesn't bring you ease. It only urges tears that you try so hard to hold back as you croak out,

"Jaemin, this will not make him fall in love with you."

The world seems to pause.

"But I already love him." He answers quickly, honestly, and the raw sincerity in his tone is just a fine, thorough stab in the gut. "And I just want to protect him."

It's painful how you're not even regretting this as much as you should — maybe, part of the reason you keep on chasing him is because it's painful. True to your twisted self, maybe it's the sole reason after all. You don't know why you keep on doing this to yourself — you hate it. You hate how the more things hurt you, the deeper you fall. You hate how you can't seem to tear away from him as quick as possible because you know that what comes next will be even more painful, and might even destroy you.

With all these thoughts inside your mind, you let him lean his head in the crook of your neck, holding him in the way you always wanted. Selfishly, you hope that it could always be like this.

"I know, Nana..." you whisper, his locks soft as silk as you brush them with your fingers. "and for the exact same reason, I want to protect you too."

You take a deep, shaky breath. "So don't hurt yourself. Not for anyone, not for the world... no matter how much you love them."

Why is it so easy to say the things that'd keep you safe, but so hard to even attempt just following them? It's as if the Universe wants you hurt, wants to see you bleed unshed blood. It doesn't make sense.

The rules have been pretty simple; never fall in love. You're helping people get together — you come later, priorities first. Don't fall in love; not with your partner, not with your other accomplices, and especially, not with the fools you're helping.

The rule has been simple. Only that you think, it was way easier to break them than to follow, and you've failed this rule pretty early on.

Just how can you not adore Na Jaemin?

###

You laugh loudly, almost hitting your head to your headboard as you look at Jisung's post. In the picture, Jaemin smiles bubbly, and the caption's way too cheesy to read. Even though you were the one who helped them get together, it's still hard to believe that they actually did, these messes of human beings. You type out a quick 'Congrats to surviving one year together. Give credits to my brain cells, pls' and then turning the device off.

You lay down in your bed, watch 13 change to 14 as the clock passes 11:59. You close your eyes, sigh, hope the world stops at 12:00 before promptly deciding that Valentine's Day is cancelled.

Your phone vibrates in your hold, and you grumble.

From: not hyuck

It's Valentine's day

Let's use that as an excuse to get ice cream at midnight

You stir, set on ignoring his message, but you quickly shoot up once you hear the sound of something — hopefully not pebbles, God, let it not be pebbles — hitting your window. Seriously?!

To: not hyuck

Is that

Is that you throwing stones at my fucking window

STOP YOU MIGHT BREAK THE GLASS

And that's exactly how you found yourself with sticky fingers from the desert's residue, watching red lights cover the city in celebration of love. It seems ironic. Today of all days, you don't feel dear at all — it's alright, you convince yourself, it's been a year and it's hurting less now.

It's all lies, of course. It doesn't matter that it wasn't this painful all the other days; what matters is that now it hurts, and it fucking hurts like hell.

From up here, if you spread your arms and think hard enough, the wind would make it seem as though you're flying. You do just like that, the flavor of vanilla suddenly so bitter on your tongue as you realize that there's no escape. Oh, how you hate this day. It makes you chuckle.

Renjun sighs, "What's troubling you?"

"Fun. What gave me away?"

"Your eyes." He shrugs. "They sure tell more things about you than your mouth does."

"How do they look?" you ask out of curiosity, unconsciously moving up to feel your lashes. "My eyes..."

"Well, right now... they look kind of conflicted. Sad. Happy. Somewhere in between, like the person who owns them... doesn't really know. And, well, they're incredibly..." Renjun ponders for a bit; beautiful, he wanted to say. "Hard to read."

"Doesn't sound like it if you said that much."

Did it sound so rude that you were nonchalant? Probably. You're too tired to mind, though. It'd be a lie to say you didn't expect this, to feel alone once they get together, to be scared of being erased in their lives, to be afraid of being less important now. You knew none of them would be real, but that doesn't stop you from being afraid. Would it make sense to say you don't care at all, at this point? To say you don't give a damn when truly, you do. You care so much you feel indifferent.

"You liked them, didn't you?"

And then comes along the question you're most afraid of.

"You were in love with Jisung... now, you're in love with Jaemin." he muses to himself, "Yet you're the one making sure they end up together. What the hell are you?"

Since there's no place for lies in friendship...

"Do you see the way they look? They deserve to be happy, and me... well. Well, I..." you search for words you can't seem to find. After all, you don't even know where to go now — isn't this what you wanted? For Jisung and Jaemin to get together. What's this all about? You bemusedly shake your head, "Should've just fallen for you, huh."

Accelerate, heartbeat, flying — you turn to look at his direction — your eyes tell, your eyes say so much... how do you feel?

"You'd catch me, right, Renjunnie?"

"I'm not some back-up plan, excuse you." He rolls his eyes, huffing, "But, why not? Certainly. Would be my pleasure."

You stare at him in wonder, awestruck, amused and amazed. It's just a random joke you made so you wouldn't have to answer him truthfully, but goddamn, this — you feel oddly seen, chosen; as if you've never been chosen before. Maybe he's right. His heart picks up speed as more minutes pass in silence, so he looks away and smiles sheepishly.

Renjun closes his eyes briefly, "You didn't answer my question, though. To do whatever the hell you were doing... what the fuck are you?"

Both poison and sugar linger on your lips as you smile.

"Perhaps, Cupid."

Maybe, yes, right, Cupid. Makes sense. A matchmaker who creates perfect love, and quite possibly, trouble. Always setting people up but maybe not themselves. Renjun agrees, and so he whispers,

"Suits you. An angel."

You stare at him again, only this time around it's soft but startled, and for a brief moment of losing himself, Renjun whispers in his mind — hey, Cupid. Love me, will you?

Instead, in the real world, he gives you the same exact gaze — only fonder. Renjun knows. He knows that you fell in love thrice in this journey; once, with Park Jisung, another, with Lee Jeno, and lastly, with Na Jaemin.

Maybe, just maybe, Renjun wishes that at this tale of Valentine's chapter closed, you'll fall in love with him too.

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loveisneurotic · 3 years

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Kaguya-sama Blind Reaction/Analysis: S1E1

Hello everyone, this is my blog which I am currently using to react to and analyze Kaguya-sama: Love Is War much more seriously than I should analyze any romcom.

I have only seen the first episode of the anime, which this post shall explore using far too many words. If I'm feeling particularly motivated, I may read the manga as well.

My analysis will contain spoilers. If you're thinking of watching this show and haven't seen it yet, I recommend you at least go check out the first episode yourself before reading any further. I don't know what the rest of the show is like, but what I've seen so far has been both entertaining and thought-provoking.

I'm going in mostly blind, but not entirely blind. There are a few images of the anime and manga that I have been exposed to, although without the attached context. Due to cultural osmosis and the sheer popularity of this work, perhaps that was almost inevitable.

Figure 1.1.1: Why did this guy write an essay about a single episode of an ongoing romcom?

Kaguya-sama: Love Is War

Season 1 Episode 1

I Will Make You Invite Me to a Movie / Kaguya Wants to Be Stopped / Kaguya Wants It

Power dynamics in relationships

Figure 1.1.2: Immediately, the mangaka's tastes become clear.

I heard a saying once that really stuck with me: "The partner who cares the least has all of the power."

In the world of dating, I often sincerely believed this saying. You may yearn for someone's affection, but the other person need not give it to you until they are willing and ready. No matter how much you want it, you can't make someone more interested in you, unless you resort to being roundabout, such as adding some mystery and intrigue to your courtship. But is that excessive?

I once felt a potential lover slipping through my grasp, and before I knew it, I found myself chasing after them. As I was yearning for their attention, I felt as if I'd lost my dignity. It was humiliating. Painful. Was it just that they weren't the right person for me? Or was I not funny enough? Not charismatic enough? Not interesting enough? Too clingy? Too talkative? Should I have been more distant and given them more space? Did I seem too weak? Too eager? How should I have maximized my desirability? Regardless, I had surely lost. Perhaps they wanted the satisfaction and validation of conquering me. Playing me for a fool and asserting their superiority by being so distant. Isn't that right? Or is that just insecurity speaking? At what point is it ideal to cut one's losses and walk away?

If someone desperately wants the object of their affection to desire them, does that make them pathetic? Does it make them a loser? If you show more vulnerability and desire than the other person, does that truly make you the weak one in a relationship?

These questions plague our two protagonists and seem to be a driving force behind the main conflict. Since I have also grappled with how much to reveal my own feelings of desire, I find Kaguya-sama: Love Is War to be a particularly fascinating show.

Desire without action

Figure 1.1.3: Our protagonists are gifted with impressively high academic intelligence paired with impressively low emotional intelligence.

The show wastes no time in introducing us to our two main protagonists. Kaguya was born into a family of high stature (and says "ara ara" frequently enough to power a small country of weebs), whereas Shirogane is a "commoner" (Kaguya's word, not mine) who worked hard to reach the pinnacle of the student body. Like timid schoolchildren, they're crushing on each other, and yet they refuse to admit it due to their pride. Instead, they focus on getting their "opponent" to confess their love first.

What stuck out to me immediately is how they both have different ideas of what their relationship would be like. Shirogane envisions Kaguya as blushing, shy, and conventionally cute, whereas Kaguya (thankfully) envisions herself taking absolute dominance over Shirogane (which plenty of people should see coming as a character trait after the anime's very first scene). The bad news about this is that their two fantasies are at odds. The good news about this is that the mangaka has fantastic taste -- you can learn a lot about a storyteller based on the characterization of a love interest or lead character of the author's preferred gender.

In the event that the two of them become an actual couple, I wonder how on Earth they'll reach a compromise as to how they'll treat each other. Perhaps they will have to figure that out before they can even get that intimate.

I appreciate that we get to see both of their perspectives. It hammers home how everyone has a different truth in regards to what they desire and what they experience, and the show does not hold back when it comes to showing just how different these truths can be -- such as a certain lunch-themed sequence that I will talk about later. This works to great dramatic and comedic effect.

That said, when you spend your time fantasizing about what could happen instead of actually taking action, time is not so friendly to you.

Half a year passes.

Figure 1.1.4: Two geniuses dedicate their pride to wasting their life and energy.

Immediately, I got the impression that whoever wrote this segment of the story knows what they're doing. This is too real. And by "too real", I mean I very much appreciate the realism. How many of us have waited for ages (or for eternity) to confess our feelings to a specific someone?

This is the curse of having a crush and being incapable of acting on it. It's also why I hate having crushes.

Manufacturing affection in others, AKA the extraction of vulnerability

Figure 1.1.5: A plan is devised to weaponize jealousy in the name of affection.

To express your truest feelings means being vulnerable. That implies taking a risk and feeling responsible for any potential consequences of rejection, as well as putting our dignity on the line. It would be so much easier for the object of our affection to make themselves vulnerable instead. So instead of being direct and honest, we act indirect. We drop hints. We act suggestively, but not explicitly. We may even place them in situations where we think they are more likely to confess. If they don't pick up on it, we can pretend we didn't mean anything by it. That way, we don't have to risk our dignity. We can just wait for them to make the move.

It sucks.

Incidentally, it sucks even more when both you and your love interest are thinking that way.

It sucks infinitely more when both you and your love interest are COMMITTED to thinking that way.

Someone has to break the deadlock, whether that's immediately or eventually.

If this show isn't one of those romcoms where the status quo never changes ever (judging by the quality of writing, I have faith that it isn't), then at some point, either Shirogane or Kaguya is going to have to be explicit about how they really feel. And it's going to feel scarier to them than anything else they've ever done.

It's gonna be great.

If we could all grow up and live in environments where it's safe and encouraged for all of us to be honest about how we feel and what we want, surely love would be much less painful for so many people.

Chaos theory

Figure 1.1.6: If your prospective lover won't protect you, then your friend definitely will.

Chika is the ideal wild card and agent of chaos in this arena of love.

From a writing perspective, Chika is immensely useful. The mangaka probably could have gotten by without a third character in the mix, but she serves as a catalyst and an unknown element, able to create unpredictability and subversion of expectations. For a comedy-oriented story, this is invaluable.

Blissfully unaware of the mental turmoil that plagues our two lovesick dorks, she is able to unintentionally invalidate whatever schemes that Kaguya or Shirogane spent so much mental energy on, which adds extra comedy and tension for the audience. She is also an effective vehicle for Kaguya's jealousy and projection, as seen in the lunchbox scene which I have so graciously foreshadowed.

Figure 1.1.7: We have confirmed visual on an unidentified fourth person. Chekhov would love this. From their posture, I wonder if they'll be a gloomy character?

Misunderstandings and assumptions

I've heard that most interpersonal conflicts in life emerge from misunderstandings. In the absence of communication, assumptions are born and give rise to misunderstandings.

You may know where I'm going with this. Let's talk about the lunchbox sequence.

Figure 1.1.8 (not pictured because tumblr wishes to deny me of my image spam): Kaguya is too prideful to admit she thinks that a couple is doing something cute.

Figure 1.1.9: Pride is considered a sin for a reason.

From a writing perspective, I was impressed by the lack of romantic intentions in Shirogane in this whole sequence. Not once did he try to get Kaguya to show vulnerability to him. Instead, Kaguya is the only one spinning the situation in a romantic way, while Shirogane's driving force is the misunderstanding that Kaguya is looking down on him for what he eats. Because of this misunderstanding, Shirogane doubles down and makes his food even better, making the situation even more complicated and more stressful for Kaguya. This was definitely my favorite comedy sequence from the first episode.

I appreciate that the show has demonstrated the ability to create these scenarios where one of the characters doesn't even have love on their mind, but there are still romantic thoughts coming from the other character which drives the drama. It gives me a lot of faith in the variety this show will have to offer, and makes me excited to watch more.

When it comes to comedy rooted in misunderstandings, it is important to have miscommunication or lack of communication. In order to resolve a misunderstanding, you need to talk about it. For a pairing as dysfunctional as Kaguya and Shirogane, expecting healthy communication sounds highly unreasonable, which makes them prime material for a whole world of misunderstandings.

Misunderstandings are rooted in assumptions about what the other person meant when they said something or made a certain gesture or expression. When Kaguya glared at Shirogane and his food, he didn't even think to ask "What's the matter?" He just made an assumption about how she felt. I wonder if trying to understand Kaguya's feelings would be considered a sign of weakness by Shirogane?

A prerequisite to initiating an emotional conversation is the desire to understand or be understood by the other person -- assuming that your assumptions haven't already built a narrative for you. It is far easier to make assumptions than it is to attempt any sort of understanding.

In the end, Shirogane fled, unwilling to confront or attempt to understand the intense and passive-aggressive Kaguya. Kaguya feels that she cannot directly ask to try his lunch, so perhaps this is the closest she can get to initiating such a conversation with him at this time. Despite their mind games where they imagine the reactions of their opponent, they still have a lot of difficulty understanding each other.

I am curious to see if this prospective couple's communication skills and emotional intelligence will improve over the course of the story.

The burden of potential romance

Figure 1.1.10: Even the infallible genius Kaguya succumbs to superficial jealousy. It's "mind over matter" versus "matter over mind". That's how the saying goes, right?

Chika is a free spirit, able to ask Shirogane for whatever she wants without being neurotic. That is the power of not being bounded by a crush. Kaguya, who lacks that degree of freedom, briefly loathes her for experiencing something that Kaguya cannot ask for. It's amazing how much someone's feelings for a friend can change without a single word being spoken between them. All it takes is an action, unintentional or not, combined with the raw strength of insecurity. Just as quickly, the status quo can return back to normal too, with the act of properly making up.

To Chika, asking for food from someone doesn't mean anything at all, whereas with Kaguya, it is an admission of defeat. In that sense, a relationship that will only ever be platonic brings peace of mind, whereas a relationship that can be potentially romantic brings leagues upon leagues of anxiety if the outcome is of great concern.

Love is neurotic.

Is love worth the pain? For some people, it is not. For others, the reward is immense -- but only if you can make sure your relationship with this person doesn't end up being a nightmare for your emotional health.

Love and self-identity

The final scene of the episode surprised me in a good way. It's a brief departure from the comedy, and reveals a more heartfelt side of the show.

Kaguya's servant asks her an insightful question. It is substantially more insightful than I would expect from any romcom: "If you fell in love some day, would you wait for that person to confess their love, like now? Or would you confess your love?" I found myself immediately curious to hear Kaguya's answer, since I knew it would be highly informative about her character.

"If that time comes, I would consider the risk of someone stealing him first and come to the one rational conclusion." Even in the realm of love, Kaguya seems precise and calculating. It's as if she hesitates to give a straight answer, but then she confirms: "Of course I would go."

Figure 1.1.11: "Please understand."

It is not embarrassment or rejection that Kaguya fears; it is the absolute destruction of her identity and sense of self. Kaguya is the daughter of a family that practically runs the country. In her mind, everyone yearns for her and wishes to serve her. Turning that around and reaching out to another person to express her own desire would be a direct contradiction of that. It is probably a similar situation for Shirogane, where the infallible self-image he has built up is being put at risk during his romantic duels against Kaguya.

Kaguya clearly feels trapped. She and Shirogane see each other as threats to be conquered, but in reality, they both share a mutual enemy that is much more imposing and insidious: their own simultaneous disgust at the idea of vulnerability.

Their freedom is dominated by their insecurities, and so, even despite their impressive stature, they are still very human. Their upbringing that has lead them to become so accomplished may be more of a curse than a blessing, due to the resulting pride and self-image they likely feel pressured to uphold.

It is hard to cast aside a lie that you have bought into for your whole life.

If our two protagonists wish to have a chance of establishing a healthy romantic relationship, they have a lot of their own demons to overcome first. If they cannot set aside their pride and reach mutual understanding, they have no hope.

Until then, they will both remain trapped in a hell of their own design, however tragically comedic it may be.

My hopes for this story's future

I can tell that the mangaka, unlike far too many writers all over the world, actually seems to have a solid understanding of romance and the conflict that arises within. I've watched too many anime that place huge focus on the "will they or won't they" crap which never runs any deeper than one or both of the characters being too embarrassed to just say what they're thinking, without any sort of convincing mental blocker. In that case, it's clearly just manufactured drama which is designed to pad out the story and waste your time rather than pose interesting questions and themes. In the case of Kaguya and Shirogane, the two of them have substantial communication issues which are depicted in a comedic yet mature way, which I have found engaging.

I very much hope that the show will more deeply explore the themes and questions surrounding the ideas of vulnerability, emotional intelligence, and superiority within relationships. Kaguya and Shirogane have been set up to be great vehicles for such exploration, and I hope the mangaka can capitalize on that, especially if our protagonists can confront these issues directly.

My impression is that the ending will make or break this story. If the mangaka can pull it off well, I can already believe the payoff will be hugely satisfying.

Of course, in order to get to that point, we'll have to see a certain something. It has to do with the most sacred word amongst romcom enthusiasts: "progress". Indeed, after spending chapters upon chapters watching two characters bumble around amidst the same exact status quo, those little signs of advancements in a relationship are highly rewarding.

Underneath all of their aggression, if we can see Kaguya and Shirogane slowly open up to each other and realize the benefits of vulnerability, I think we could witness something really beautiful and really emotionally cathartic.

I've still only seen one episode, but I believe the mangaka has laid a fantastic groundwork for a series and can do a great job developing upon what I've seen so far. On that note, I will surpass our prideful protagonists by opening my heart to this story and entrusting it with my vulnerability, believing it can deliver satisfying development and resolution. You can do it!

Closing thoughts

I did not expect to write so much about a single episode of an ANIME of all things, but here we are. If only I could conjure this kind of power back when I actually needed it in high school English class!

The first episode alone is already so rich with characterization and themes that I managed to find quite a lot to talk about. Given how much I found myself relating to the characters and some of their situations, it's clear to me how this show became so popular. Not only are the animation, direction, and writing excellent, but also many people can probably relate to love feeling like a battlefield.

I do not want to believe in the idea of winners and losers in relationships. That idea creeps into my head whenever I'm having trouble keeping the interest of a new date, and I find myself wondering where those thoughts even come from. Lately, I have been reflecting on the way I relate to other people. Perhaps I've started experiencing this show at a time in my life when I most needed it, and that's why I felt driven to write such a large analysis.

This show poses some very interesting questions about romance that I do not actually know the answer to at the time of writing. I do not know yet how much the show is actually going to explore these themes. Regardless, I appreciate how this show is helping me reflect, and I am curious to see if and how the mangaka will answer some of the questions brought about by the story's themes.

This is a show that I'll most likely have to pace myself with. There was so much to process in this first episode alone. If I went any faster, I'm not sure if I'd even catch all of the details and character moments. I'm excited to move onto the second episode soon.

A highly subjective footnote about my cultured tastes

I'm glad that Kaguya is a sadistic dom with a gentle and vulnerable side, solely on the basis of that being my favorite personality type in a love interest. It also helps that it makes Kaguya's fantasies that much funnier with Shirogane acting so out of character. I feel like this show was made for me.

What was I writing about again? Oh yeah, writing a gigantic wall of text about an anime romcom. Somehow, I spent an entire day on this essay. Hopefully someone got a kick out of it.

#kaguya sama: love is war #analysis #long post #reactions

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mochikeiji · 4 years

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Mishap Aroma

↠ Pairing: Akaashi Keiji x Reader

↠ Warning:tw: perverted person/anxiety attacks, astraphobia slight angst, fluffy fluff with my man.

↬ Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: Even the baddest day, week, month or year can have the most sweetest taste of goodness by the end. Especially with the person you love and would scare all of these bad aura away.

⇢ Day 4: CoffeeShop AU

Misfortune— it happens at an unexpected time, event, and place. Whether you find yourself having a good day or moment or already in a tight spot, that bastard comes right in to double the penetration to your problems.

For instance, you were just finishing up your daily chores such as going to the grocery to fill in your empty fridge back home. It was all fine, there weren't much people, the line was short, the cashier was kind and patient as you counted your coins frantically. It was all fine.

And then the weather decided to be a bitch.

It started as a hot sunny day and suddenly as afternoon light peaks in the midst of your way home it started to pour. You didn't mind at first and luckily came in prepared with an umbrella and walked while humming a tune in your head peacefully. It was all alright, enjoying the cold weather and water spraying on your face like a child, that was until clouds started clashing to one another, delivering a loud roar from above that made your feet tumble a little on the ground.

You hated it.

On the corner of a building you ran and knelt down, one hand on your dominant ear, the one that was more sensitive to sound and the other having to deal with your shoulder pathetically protecting it. You searched desperately inside your bag, looking for that clear case of your that held two earplugs your mother had given you from her father. But none, you could've sworn you had two pairs of those. One for travel and one for home.

"Ah fuck, I broke them last month."

Raining season was occuring, of course you were using those earplugs before and more often. But the more it stretched when you pulled it out from your ear, it sadly broke. And the ones that were strong and still in good piece were at home.

The pounding from your heart didn't stop with your knees wobbling from your poor position and fear. Getting home was a bit hard with the down pour. Worse was the flashing lights above and the roars of thunder. You'd be down on your knees and you wouldn't even be close home.

You panted a bit, flinching ever so suddenly at the rain ever second, predicting the possibility of a next round of thunder. Keeping your head lowered, you saw your bag lit up brightly inside. Hope flickered inside of you a little when you fished it out quickly and saw the ID message.

Akaashi:

Are you okay?

Where are you?

Do you have your earplugs?

3:33 PM

You teared up a bit in fear and touched by his concern. You only had a few people understand this phobia of yours. Some may say it was childish to fear a simple weather, that was messed up and still made you self conscious. But you were happy and comforted to have your lover tend to this fear of yours. He would always call you if ever and play a tune in the background loudly to distract you and spam you with messages.

You:

I went out to pick groceries.

I don't have.

I'm far.

3:37 PM

You screamed, but was muffled by the flash of lightning and stomping thunder. You knew your messages had few contexts, but you couldn't anymore. After counting a few seconds, you thanked yourself you only had a few things from the store and picked it up and began sprinting in the rain. Not caring how soaked you were getting and how people just stared at you in worry. You ran, praying to reach home. But even so, there were small rumbles above and it still shakens you.

Eventually, you reached a near cafe that had stairs below. It was that cafe where Akaashi and you would study back in the days when you both were in your third years in high school. It looked small since it was placed below, (like the mclarens pub) but the interior was pleasing and welcoming.

You grabbed on the railings of the stairs and carefully but quickly went down, entering the door with the small bell ringing from above. The air condition blasting throughout the cafe, your dhirt beginning to stick to your skin as you hugged your chest with one arm and hunched a bit to look like you were just freezing. Atleast the counter was empty, must be behind the other door preparing. Not many people bothered to look at the door which gave you opportunity to run to your usual spot. Beaming a little at the sight if it being empty and sat down, placing the grocery bag on the table along with your bag and sighing.

The rumbles can be heard, but not as loud as it was outside. Thighs pressed together close and arms wrapping around your cold body, you decided to wait until everything was clear. Even if it meant getting sick and looking disheveled on the corner.

This was yours and Akaashi's personal spot during study sessions. Even dating, this was where you'd celebrate occasionally. It was no surprise some of the employees knew you two, but apparently it seemed majority of them were out and the newbies were on duty. They would sometimes tease you when you would wait alone in your seat, or even Akaashi. Saying how adorable the two of you were and offering discounts during events like birthdays or anniversaries. They even got both your phone numbers and became close friends.

It was no surprise to have your body shivering in seconds despite distracting yourself with warm memories. You mentally cringed when you felt the eyes of a disgusting predator just a few tables in front of you rake through your soaked chest whilst hiding his smug expression behind his steaming hot beverage. It's only a matter of time that guy will walk up to you and have his way to your body with the few people around you who had their own worlds and the counter still empty.

The skies cracking sounds can be heard, louder than the rest of the thunders you've heard a while ago and made you yelp. The lights thag hung on the ceiling of the cafe flickered and buzzed as you tried to shell yourself away from everything when the lurk of anxiety crept in your chest.

Your whimpers were silent, and only you can hear them. The tears were slowly making their way to your eyes followed by the warmth and soft, dried clothing being placed on your shoulders and your left side being occupied by a larger body.

"I figured you'd be here."

Gasping and recognizing that gentle voice, immediately snuggling your soaked form on his dried and heated body, Akaashi snakes his arms around you with his hand cradling your neck along with soft hushes to soothe you.

"T-there was a m-man staring at me.."

His hold tightens, he instantly knew which one was bothering you from being obvious and casts him a dirty glare. Disgusting, he thought inside of his head, not breaking the stare down until the guy eventually gulped from the stoic male a few feet away and left the place.

He hears you whimper on his chest and moved his hand to your back, giving it occasional pats to tell you that it was okay and rubbing to tell you he was here now. You weep on his chest from both relief and embarrassment. Today had been quite tough and now the rumbles outside can be somewhat heard now.

You feel Akaashi's arm move but you didn't bother to loom at it thinking he was just moving it around for a good position. He doesn't mind the fact that you were soaking wet on his side, at that moment he needed to tend to your needs. He didn't want to be like other people to leave you hanging like this. You hear him cooe like you were a baby in his arms and just gave you warm hugs.

"It's okay, you're okay. I promise everything will be okay."

He knows the comforting lines you needed and what you did not wish to hear. He was cautious with his words seeing from the internet reminders how people don't like simple closed minded term or words given to them. He was sincere with his, and wasn't just something to comfort you temporarily.

The table in front of you both made a small thud sound. Blinking your tears away, you hear a small whisper from someone else and Akaashi's head nodding on top of yours. Raising your head a little, Akaashi looks down and presses a kiss on your forehead and smiles at you.

"I bought your favorite."

Your nose sniffles a bit from clogging that was now heated by the steam of your hot beverage, turning away from his chest, you saw your once empty table now occupied with two hot beverages and sweet chocolate chip cookies.

"You love these right? It's been long since we've gotten down here on such occasions."

It was true with him almost being gone 24/7 due to his work and you mostly taking care of the necessities when he was away, there wasn't enough time of weeks or even months to spend the day with him. It was a blessing in disguise that a bad day can make the two of you come back to the nostalgic place once again and finally have that moment where it was just the both of you.

"Wait, didn't you have work today?"

Akaashi took a note of your dampened features and placed a hand on your cheek to wipe away the tears softly.

"I told my co workers that I needed to head home immediately when I heard a loud thunder."

Looking back down then at the table filled with untouched food, you began to feel guilty to be having to pull him down from his work. You didn't expect him to actually run out of his office just to tend to your fears and comfort you. You felt like a child next to him— a spoiled one.

"I'm sorry..I'll pay you back."

He feels you try to pull away from his embrace, but as coincidence strikes again, a loud crack was heard from above, yet you still try to pull away from his hold even though you were obviously shaking in fear. He wasn't going to have this, instead of letting you go free, he yanks you back to his chest with a small sound escaping your lips from the impact and his hand firmly placed on your back.

"No you're not, I know what you're thinking and no, none of this is on you, love."

Always been quite the observer, you thought as you fought back the tingling smile on your face. You wondered how can a guy like him exist in this world and how you even managed yo make him yours and you his. Not a single negative feeling goes unnoticed by him everyday even if he was occupied by his own work and needs, he would always be looking after whats more important.

"I love you, hm? It's only natural I tend to the person I love. I'd be an ass if I just left you after what you've gave me throughout the years. It's a give-give relationship, sweetie. I just want you happy and safe."

Eyes held the most sincere look in them. You thanked the heavens and his parents for making such a beautiful human. His hands started to move around your body a bit to make you turn back around to your now warm treats. Even though you were slightly soaking, he held you none the less on his lap and presses a kiss on your cheek as you grabbed your own beverage.

It's not everyday Akaashi has gotten an opportunity to commence PDA, but there weren't much people other than the smiling woman by the counter who had given him his order. She thought it was adorable seeing you both a minute ago during comforting you.

Munching on the cookie, Akaashi took a sip on his coffee with his free hand rubbing your belly instinctively. He's grown a habit of rubbing any part of your body he can touch, knowing how you loved the skin to skin affection. The same implies to him as he secretly smiles through his cup when he feels your stomach grumble.

The day may have been bad, unexpected. But more on unexpectedly good in the end. You always believed that after a bad day, there was always going to be good. But not a day, either a week of goodness or a month. Because after sharing this day with him, the next day he had announced he was given a week off after finishing a lot of his projects.

But for now, you snuggled deeper in his hold as you blew your drink, looking up carefully to place a kiss on his jaw that made his heart flutter and him stop chewing on his own food.

A little caffeine tastes sweeter after a mishap.

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rainywritingsx · 4 years

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Torn • BNHA X OC • Chapter 8

Finally, a new chapter ^^ I'm so so happy to see that this book is gaining more reads oj my Wattpad each day, and your comments motivate me to write more! I'm overjoyed that you guys are enjoying the story just like I am and I hope that you'll continue to do so in the future :). Anywayyy, onto the chapter now, enjoy!

You can find the prologue for the story here, and on my masterlist you’ll find all of the chapter ^^

Upon seeing my astounded expression, a mischievous smirk covered the stranger's face. For a moment, the both of us were silent, just looking at each other. I was at a loss for words and he just seemed to enjoy watching me being uncomfortable. My breath hitched in my throat as I tried calming down. His eyes were captivating to say the least. My eyes slowly scanned the rest of him, though it was dark there were a few things that stood out, immediately noticing the scars that covered majority of his body. What I assumed were staples were used to keep it all together, and I noticed he also had a few piercings. His hair was dark from what I could tell and he was taller than me.

This really caught me off guard. I definitely did not expect our paths to cross again.

"I see you do recognise me, don't you sweetheart?" The nickname caught me by surprise, which I tried to hide by looking away, but to no avail. He wasn't even trying to help, since it seemed that my flustered state was very amusing to him.

"Is this how you thank your saviour? I'm really hurt, princess." He said as he faked sadness and placed a hand on his chest, which I couldn't help but giggle at involuntarily.

"Ah, you're not mute. I knew it." he chuckled softly.

"Hey! I'm just... a little shy, that's all." I said as I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"I see." and then it was silent again.

"Uhm," I finally spoke up again. "thank you. For earlier, I mean. I don't know what would've happened if you didn't save me."

"Princess, are you really thanking a villain?" He sighed. "I just did what anyone else would've done. Those bastards are all talk. They think they're cool until a real villain shows up." I slightly tilted my head. a real villain..? That was interesting of him to say. What was a real villain to him?

Hold on, Janie. why were you even curious about this? He's just some stranger that you happened to recognise, that was all.

"Anyway, you should probably go home now, cupcake. These places aren't exactly fit for people like you." I narrowed my eyes at that second sentence. What exactly did he mean by that?

"People like me?"

"Oh come on, doll. You know exactly what I mean, you just don't want to admit that to yourself." I couldn't help but pout. Maybe I did know, but I was just hoping that I was still wrong for some reason.

"Hey, I'm not as weak as you think I am." He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Oh, pardon me." He began, eyes slightly wide and his tone higher. "The oh-so-precious Janie Kotu is of course the most powerful, with her parents being the most notorious villains at the moment. She will definitely become just like them too." He faked a bow and looked at me from below his lashes. "My sincere apologies, milady."

"Look, I know I may seem a bit spoiled, but that doesn't mean that I'm incapable of doing anything."

"You might have strength, but do you even want to become like them? Does your power matter at all if you're not even passionate about what you do?" How did he know that?... Wait, no. For all I knew he could just be bluffing, right?

"I know that right now your heart lies somewhere else. But why? Are those heroes really any better than us? They're all stupid fakes."

"No, that's not true." I protested. "All might is-"

"Ah, yes, All Might." He interrupted "The only one who actually cares. But he's retired as of right now, hasn't he? He can pretend all he wants, but he's not as strong as he used to be."

"Okay, hold on, why are you even saying all of this?" Where did all of that come from? He barely knew me, so why was he just starting to tell me all this? "You don't know me! You may know my name, but I don't even know yours."

"Oh, my sincere apologies princess." He said in a 'sincere' tone and made a fake deep bow again. "The name is Dabi." His tone was lower again, which sent shivers down my spine for some reason.

"Look princess, you just... how do I say this," he thought for a little before looking back at me again. "you just spark my interest, that's all." I could hear the smirk in his voice. "A villain in making who also wants to attend UA at the same time? Sounds pretty interesting if you ask me." upon hearing this a gasp left my mouth as my eyes widened. How did he know? If he knew, who else saw me too that day?

The stranger chuckled, clearly noticing my shocked reaction. "Don't worry sweetheart, I'm not planning on telling anyone." He stopped and leaned down towards me, making me back up slightly. "What I will do though, is tell you that you're making a huge mistake. That oh-so-perfect little world of heroes that you dream of... In reality, it's no better than this here." I scoffed as I crossed my arms, not losing eye contact with him.

"How would you even know that?" He was just bluffing, right?

"I have my ways, doll." He chuckled. "But, you know, I'm not forcing you not to go or anything of course." I frowned and eyed him suspiciously.

"After all, I think it will be quite amusing to say the least, watching you realise all of what I said yourself. You might even regret not listening to me."

"I really don't get you... Can we just go? Please?" I sighed, tired of his rambling that I wasn't in the mood for.

"Alright, sweetheart. Where do you live?" I narrowed my eyes at him. Did he really think I was going to tell him my address?

"Oh, you do have some common sense I see. Good, because your knight in shining armor won't be there for you every time."

"Can you just walk with me until we get to that cat café that's not too far from here?" I said, not reacting to his comment. He chuckled and hummed in agreement before we started walking.

To my surprise, the walk was actually silent and peaceful. Dabi didn't really speak, and I wasn't in the mood of speak. Realisation of how dangerous the previous situation could've been had hit me and all I wanted to do was go home right now.

Dabi probably had sensed my discomfort, because when we got to the café he didn't make a witty remark or use a cheesy pet name on me.

"Alright, Janie. I'll go my own way from here now." For some reason, I didn't like the way he spoke. No, it wasn't because I liked his witty remarks and cheesy nicknames, I just wasn't used to it. Wait Janie, what even was there to get used to to begin with? I barely knew him.

"Okay." Was all I said to him. But there was a part of me that longed to see him again. I wanted to keep in touch with him, I wanted to know more about him. How did he know I took part in UA's entrance exam? How could he read me that easily? So far nobody had really figured that this wasn't what I wanted...

Dabi nodded, sent me a tiny smile before turning around to leave. I turned around as well, going my own way but it still feeling wrong. I stopped dead in my tracks and bit my lip. My goodness, what was wrong with me?

I turned back around, only to see that Dabi was still walking. A quiet sigh escaped my mouth. Why was I hoping that he would turn back around? Why was my heart pounding right now?

No Janie, you just weren't used to this. You didn't have friends, you weren't used to guys paying attention to you. This was just like the entrance exam, nothing to worry about. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts before turning back around to walk back home. I wasn't going to look back anymore. That was nothing. I didn't feel anything.

Once I got home, I immediately went to my room, not being in the mood to talk to anyone. Not that my family was that talkative towards me anyway.

I plopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. Flashbacks of today came to mind, causing me to shiver for a moment. Was I going to tell my parents about this? No, they and my brothers would laugh at me...

Then Dabi crossed my mind. Dabi... Wait, why was I thinking about him? He saved me and was just an interesting person, that was all. nothing else. We happened to see each other twice, but I would probably never ever see him again. Obviously I didn't mind that.

Janie, how naive you were.... I had no idea what the universe had in store from me from that day on. it's all his fault. because of him you are in this situation right now, years later...

.......................................................................................

A few days later, I almost had a heart attack when I checked the mail and saw a letter for me from UA. I didn't think I'd get the results back so quickly! Wait, what if my parents or brothers saw it? No no, they would have told me probably. I wasn't dead yet, so they obviously hadn't seen the letter, right?

In my panicked state I nonchalantly hid it in my bra to be sure that nobody would see it. I put the rest of the letters we received together in a neat pile and calmly went to my room.

As I made my way to my bedroom, my heart was racing. Was I accepted? Was I not? What class would I be in? What would I even do if I was accepted? Was I really going to try living a double life? For how long was that even going to work? What if anyone found out? No wait. I didn't even know if I was accepted into the school at all, so I was not going to worry about other things until I had read the letter.

I entered my room and made sure to close the door before walking to my desk and sitting on my chair. While taking the letter out of my bra it was only then that I realised how strange that was. I couldn't help but giggle at myself as I shook my head.Luckily, nobody had seen that happening.

I looked back at the letter and took a deep breath. I had no idea what my score was at the end of the practical part of the entrance exam, so I really couldn't estimate what class I'd be in if I was accepted at all. I wanted to open it right now, but part of me was also terrified of both of the possible outcomes.

No, Janie, you had to get over that and just do it. Without thinking my hand made its way to the letter to open it, and I gasped when I saw a hologram appear. Woah, it was Present Mic! I didn't know that much about the pro hero, but I was aware that he was strong, and also very, very energetic, which I honestly liked.

"Hellooooo there! My name is Present Mic, I'm a pro hero and a teacher at UA High! I am here to inform you about your results of the entrance exam." My heart was pounding and I could feel my hands becoming clammy. I gulped and bit my lip as my eyes stayed focused on the pro.

"Now, Janie Kagura, on your theoretical exam you did exceptionally well!! So cool!! Your results were in the top 30!" Upon hearing this my jaw almost dropped to the basement of our house as my eyes grew the size of dinner plates. Top 30????? How?

"However, when we take a look at your results of the practical exam," his tone caused slight worry. I'm guessing I didn't do as well on this part as on the theoretical exam. "your score appears to be quite low..." unconsciously, my lips formed into a small pout as I could feel my heart sink to my stomach.

"But!!!!" he said, his voice filled with enthusiasm as a big smile appeared on his face again. "The other teachers and I all agreed that you definitely have some potential there. and it wouldn't be right of UA to let that talent go, right?" I gasped as I stood up from my chair, my hands covering my mouth. Was he trying to say what I thought he was trying to say?...

"So, Janie Kagura, I can happily tell you that you have been accepted into UA High!" A happy squeal left my mouth as I started jumping up and down. Me? Accepted? Really? Oh my goodness, was I dreaming? I quickly pinched myself, giggling giddily when I realized this was actually happening and it wasn't just some silly dream in my head.

"While you weren't accepted in class A or B, you were accepted in class C, which is totally awesome already!" The goofy smile on my face was still apparent. Yes, being in class 1-A would be a dream, but I was already happy that I got into this school with such a low acceptance rate.

"And remember, there are more ways to still get into the Hero Course! UA would never waste any potential!"

"Now, there are a few things that still need to be settled. First of all, the dorms for the new students haven't been finished just yet. There are a few problems that we need to take care of first. But when they're done...." I zoned out at this point as my eyes widened. I completely forgot that UA had dorms... Oh my, I was so screwed... Was there any way for me to be able to cover this up without it looking suspicious? Think Janie, think, I thought to myself as I grew more and more frustrated by the second. I was so dumb for not considering these things before, why did I only have to realize it now?

Okay wait, I still had time. The dorms weren't finished yet, which meant it would take a while until those were finished. I still had time...

"In the rest of the letter you can read the practical and boring information. We can't wait to see you at UA High, Janie Kagura!!" and just as fast as it appeared, the hologram disappeared. I was still astounded, did I really get into UA? Such an amazing school with an extremely low acceptance rate? I got in?

I wondered if those two guys were accepted too... They seemed nice and I would like to be friends with them if i were honest. They were different, but interesting people nonetheless.

Wait, Present Mic had said that there was more information in the letter, which meant it was probably a good idea to read that letter. I sat down on my desk chair again and grabbed the letter. It basically said on Monday most things would be done, like getting our measurements for our uniforms and suits. Our suits... I was going to get a hero suit? Oh my goodness, that felt so surreal. I, Janie Kotu, who was born to be a villain, actually had the opportunity to change my fate. I could feel tears well up in my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away. While I was overjoyed right now, I also did not want to expect too much, as I knew anything could happen that could stop me from following my dream.

Apart from what I just mentioned, the letter also talked about getting the keys to our lockers as well as the fact that we would find out who our homeroom teacher was when we got to the school. All of this would happen next week, and the week after that the lessons would start. I'd also receive my timetable next week. I really hoped there was at least some time between this and the villain school...

Wait, but on Wednesday I was going to go to my parents' work. Crap, what if I had to go to UA that day? If I told them I had to go to school, they'd be able to make sure I had a day off, which was easy considering the influence they had. So yeah, that wasn't going to work of course. Pretending to be sick was also not an option, as my mother would probably get overprotective and end up staying home with me. That or my father would manage to convince to leave me alone at home, which was possible since my dad was rough to say the least so he'd obviously think I was exaggerating. But still, it was risky.

I shook my head to get out of my thoughts. I had no idea on what days I had to come, I knew I had to go on Monday but that was it. Worrying over something that wasn't even confirmed was completely irrational, I knew that. Yet I just couldn't help but feel anxious about this. It wasn't an everyday thing to lie about the school that you were attending and barely anyone knowing about it.

A soft sigh escaped my mouth. I hated the fact that things had to be like this. Yes, I was the one who did all of this stuff secretly, but if only my parents were more accepting, if only they weren't the most notorious villains at the moment... Things would be completely different if that was the case.

Suddenly a completely different thought crossed my mind. I didn't even have a design for a hero suit! Quickly I grabbed a pencil and a few pieces of paper. While I was no art mastermind, I was able to draw a simple person with proportions that were kind of okay? And that didn't matter too much, since they probably mostly cared about the clothing itself.

But how was I just going to design something just like that? I had exactly zero experience with fashion design... Maybe I could try using everyday outfits in a way? And I'd just add a few colours that I loved. Ah, I was sure that all of these heroes in training had been dreaming of what their suit would look like since they were little, if only things were that easy for me... Yes, I had always secretly wanted to save people instead of harming them, but I never even thought it was possible so I never let myself dream, as it would only bring pain.

I just decided to draw whatever, and hopefully something nice would come out of it. I drew outfits I wore often, outfits that I had seen in magazines before and would like to wear, dresses that I would love to wear but were way too extra so I wouldn't wear them anywhere..

My heart stopped when I heard a knock on my door. I quickly hid my UA letter and right after that my mother opened the door.

"Hey sweetie!" she said, her tone high-pitched as usual. "Dinner is almost ready! Oh, what are you doing?" she asked and I could feel my heartbeat spead up. Without waiting for an answer, she entered the room and looked at the drawings.

"Oh, you're designing a villain suit! How lovely!" she exclaimed excitedly as she examined every drawing. "When I got my first villain suit I was so excited! Your grandparents actually chose it and designed it for me, so it was a total surprise." she was quiet for a moment, blankly staring at the drawings before something seemed to cross her mind. She gasped in excitement and looked back at me.

"Your dad and I will do the same for you! You'll get to wear it on Wednesday!" a small frown appeared on my face. Wednesday was only a few days away.

"But that's in a few days already, mother." I said, causing her to chuckle softly

"Oh honey, don't worry about the time! Your dad and I will take care of it." she answered with a bright smile, which honestly raised my concerns even more. But I knew my mother and I was aware that nobody would stop her nor my dad even if they tried their best.

"Now, let's go downstairs, your brothers are waiting already and your dad will be here soon!" I nodded and got up. Once I entered the dining room, the loud laughter and voices from my brothers died down. I decided to act as if I didn't notice it and sat down at my usual spot.

Not too long after my mother and I had sat down, my father also entered the house. I couldn't help but flinch when I saw him, as there was some blood on his clothes. Yet everyone else acted as if there was nothing morally wrong with this. Knowing that getting mad would not get me anywhere, I made the decision to remain silent and just quietly started eating.

"So, how was work today, dad?" Malo asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he looked at my father with a smirk. Chobu jumped up, almost spilling his glass of water in the process.

"Yeah! Tell us about it, dad!" he exclaimed, and Emry just nodded in agreement. I knew that my father wasn't going to give the details, as Chobu and Emry were still young, but the story was still going to be clear and I hated the fact that my father spoke so prideful of his actions. And the fact that everyone else in the house supported it just stung me even more.

As my father told about whatever he did today, I tried to focus on something else, because I really had no intention of losing my appetite today. For a while I was just eating my meal, not really thinking at all. That was until my father said my name. I hummed and lifted my head only to see everyone staring at me. I made eye contact with my father, whose icy stare almost dug holes in me.

"You know, stories like this are important to hear, Janie. You especially should be listening as you are the one who will follow in your mother and I's footsteps." the urge to roll my eyes and tell him to piss off was major, but I was aware that it wouldn't help and, well, I never really said stuff like that.

So... I just nodded in agreement.

"Aw, honey, Janie meant no harm! I'm sure she has a lot on her mind today." my mother said. "Oh! you know what I saw Janie doing today?" she asked, an excited smile playing on her lips. She seemed a little too excited in my opinion....

"She was designing her villain suit!" and I could swear this was one of the rare moments where I saw pride in Malo's eyes. It was so weird, one time he was happy and excited for me, but other times his personality made a whole turn. Like when we went to school together he seemed happier than ever, but then at other times it was as if he barely cared. I couldn't even figure out my own brother... Part of me thought that maybe the times he tried being nice were just his ways of trying to get on my good side so he could have a lot of power in the future. And maybe sometimes that facade would crack, because of his ill intentions.

"Oh, Takeshi, remember when I did that too? When we met I was wearing my first villain suit!" she smiled as she clasped her hands together in excitement. "We can get one done for Janie by Wednesday, right darling?" My mother asked my dad, who nodded. He seemed to be more at ease because of what my mother had mentioned.

"How about you and Malo get matching ones? You two will obviously be fighting together!" I could see stars coming out of Malo's eyes as my mother said this. "I'm sure you two can also bond more when fighting."

"And it's good for you two to gain more popularity." my father added. While yes, from their viewpoint it was a smart move, what worried me was the fact that if Malo and I would join our parents in missions, it meant that my face was exposed to the world. UA was definitely going to figure out who I was...

"But maybe we should keep their identities kind of hidden for the heroes." my father then said, bringing me out of my thoughts. "We don't want them to get arrested already or for the police to already." I was about to jump out of my chair at that remark.

"Hm, I'm sure a mask will be okay. I'll let the designers know!" my mother replied. "Malo, Janie, any preferences you have for the suit? It still needs to gain attention of course so it must be something eye catching!" Malo opened his mouth to say something when my mother stopped him.

"Oh wait! How about you two think about it together after dinner and then let us know? I'm sure you both have wonderful ideas!" Yeah, lovely.... Sounded great... But I knew I didn't have much of a choice so I agreed. I saw a naughty smirk on Malo's lips which told me he was up to no good. Oh, boy...

#bnha #bnha x oc #bnha fanfic #bnha fanfiction #mha #mha x oc #mha fanfic #mha fanfiction #OC #bnha oc #mha oc #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

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cariseca · 2 years

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i read choco boys/swiss bliss... â

Spoilers

To start off. I recall reading a review on a forum saying this story was close to the morris+goscinny era wrt the pacing and the way the story develops as well as the gags and puns. And I'm not saying thats a requirement to rlly enjoy a derivative work, or if that's entirely true bc this may just be koning's way of pacing. But I do think there's some truth in it, except for the fact koning actually has emotional pull in most of the dialogue.

Even if i dont personally enjoy when luke is treated too much like a established living legend/celebrity a la buffalo bill or smth like that, the story makes that fact matter and isnt just for the gags or 4th wall breaks. It works because it's not /his/ story, it's Bud's story, we can see a reflection of stranger's perceptions of the Mysterious but famous Lucky Luke and the dreaded Bud in Straight Gulch, and part of the subtle tension between luke and Bud before their talk by the fire.

Of course Bud loves Terry, but it does seem to me there was an unspoken desire between the two? The admiration and how Luke offered him some vulnerability by admitting he did kill the original Daltons, the morning after Bud told him about his deal with Terry, and his sincere thoughts on why he doesn't kill.

I notice in a lot of Luke's friendships the reason they work is bc he can see eye to eye with the other person ((the comic's) Calamity Jane by both breaking their gendered expectations, Fingers by the end of the story with their banter, Hank Bully with his similar sense of humor and Bud by having something more than meets any stranger's eye just like him. Idk if tht makes sense.

As for the story, it flows nicely and i just rlly like how casually it was a circular story because Bud started off by the duel until Terry interrupted him. It was a good decision to have it be from Bud's POV towards the audience, as if we were the ones trying to thread the story of the "legend" lucky luke by asking people who met him. And the big reveal is that his biggest trait, what makes him be remembered fondly is the protection and empathy he gives to total strangers. Bud sounds so thankful that they crossed paths bc he can be with Terry instead of being intimidated into forgetting about him!!!

And this would all be well and good if it wasn't fucking racist. Like first off I know calamity jane is pretty separate from the historical figure the actual real person. But she is still the representation of a real person in history with a name attached to the displacement of native people. So I really dont think it bodes well at all that she was paired up with a fictional elder native woman.

As for the elder native woman herself and her native companion, it goes to show you can be a super famous for doing transgressive gay art for white europeans but if your gay art does not care to honor or understand native people (who should not be subjected to fitting into western notions of gender/sexuality especially if your setting is prior to these identifiers existing) then your gay art is not as transgressive or inclusive as you think it is. And that was the real failure of this otherwise sweet story.

I also found the addition of the daltons tacked on. Even if it worked for some gags it was hollow and would've been better if they hadn't showed up. I don't like giving a star or number rating but i'd say this is good as a character study for lucky luke as a side character and for double meaning puns.

#txt

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Chloé & Buster

Chloé: You coming to Abi's party tonight? Buster: No Chloé: Why not! Gonna be such a laugh Buster: It's not really any of your business, is it, Chlo, but let's be honest even if I was in the country, we both know it wouldn't be a laugh Buster: Abi's probably fucked up already Buster: And that's only one of the reasons why it's a no Chloé: Ooh, someone's moody! Chloé: Unlucky you're out of town babes 😂 Chloé: Family time, is it? Yawn Buster: Fuck off, Chlo Buster: There are other things to do besides annoying my sister, you should try it Chloé: Not in her inbox, am I? Chloé: 😷 Chloé: As if you're doing anything worth talking about Buster: Neither am I so how in the hell would I know, like? Buster: Why do you care so much still what I'm doing? Buster: Sort it out, babe. The who ain't you, but there's plenty of lads in your postcode who would Chloé: Just inviting you to a bash don't get wild about it Chloé: Never see you out these days, not YOUR postcode anymore, no? Chloé: Fake girlfriend still, is it? 💔 Buster: And why do you reckon that is, babe? Buster: Fault's yours not mine. Stop inviting me out, yeah? I'm not here for it. Or you Buster: I'm not sorry I'm busy with my actual girlfriend Chloé: What have I done! Chloé: Nothing but nice to you, and your sister, for that matter Buster: If that's what you think I ain't got the time to change your mind Buster: Nor write you a list, like Chloé: 🙄 The theatrics! Chloé: So, what's she like then? Must be something if you're willing to leave here for it Buster: Draw your own conclusions Buster: I'm not talking about her to you Chloé: Cute 💘 Chloé: Though you don't need to talk that game to me Chloé: Might be able to convince a girl outside the postcode that you're #loyal babes but no need or way that'll wash with me 😏 Buster: Shut up Buster: Maybe the reason I had to go out of the postcode was less to do with me and more about the type of girl there, you ever thought on that? Chloé: Omg Chloé: Admitting you can't handle us? Buster: You wish Buster: It wasn't a compliment, babe Chloé: Whatevs Chloé: You're looking good anyway Buster: Course I am Buster: Is there anything else I can actually do for you or what? 'Cause there's plenty my girlfriend can do for me if we're done here Chloé: If you wanna make me jealous Chloé: so many better ways to go about it Buster: Please Buster: Don't flatter yourself, honestly Chloé: Who's this??? Chloé: [Rio's post] Buster: Your subtlety is astounding Buster: Your sleuthing needs some work though, clearly Chloé: It's on my feed, I ain't ashamed Buster: Give it a double tap and move on, babe Chloé: Yeah, don't think she's your type Chloé: Maybe your sister's, she's always commenting hmm Buster: Like you know anything about mine or my sister's type of girl Chloé: Getting warmer, am I? Buster: In the sense you're getting more desperate, yeah Buster: If this turns you on that's an issue for you to worry about, not me Chloé: Please Chloé: it's fun isn't it Buster: No Buster: If I tell you who she is will you go away? Chloé: Sure! Buster: She's one of my many cousins, alright Chloé: Oh Chloé: That explains it Chloé: Disappointing but don't need to tell you that Buster: Off you go then Chloé: No Chloé: I thougt you were going to tell me who your girlfriend is Buster: Why the fuck would I do that? Chloé: Why would I care who your skanky cousin is? Buster: 'Cause you're obsessed with me apparently Buster: And don't call her that Chloé: Like you care babes Buster: I obviously do or else I wouldn't waste my breath telling you to shut up Chloé: You've said worse about all of 'em Chloé: Oh my Gosh Chloé: Just realised who she is Buster: I can whatever I want. Who the fuck are you? Buster: Congrats Chloé: She is, isn't she? Chloé: The one everyone's slept with Chloé: How shaming Buster: It'd sound more sincere if you hadn't slept with most of Chelsea, babe Buster: One rule for you, yeah? Chloé: I live here, I didn't fly in for the experience Chloé: Why was she even here? Buster: Maybe if you upped your own game the lads wouldn't need her to fly in Chloé: How can you talk about your own family like that you sicko Buster: 😂 Buster: You do have a moral code of some sort then? Buster: Take it up with your boy besties, they're the ones who like to chat about it Chloé: More than you do, clearly Chloé: Doesn't that just make you want to die? How mortifying Buster: It makes me wanna kill them Buster: Thanks for asking Chloé: As if you're any better 😂 Buster: I don't sleep with any girls they care about, do I? Chloé: Yeah right Chloé: Family man now, are you babes? Chloé: Take it up with her if you're so close now Buster: Whatever, Chlo Chloé: More touchy about this than you were with your own sister Chloé: Guess there was no risk of all your mates getting on her Buster: Exactly Buster: And you've missed your chance too so no worries there Chloé: You're so vile Buster: Like you'd be above fucking my sister? Okay babe Chloé: 🤢 Chloé: I'd sooner drink bleach Chloé: thank you Buster: I'm sure she would too Buster: Shame there was none in my glass that night at the party, like Chloé: Sorry to disappoint whatever incest kink you've got going on Chloé: but nah babes Buster: Why? You ain't been sorry about being a let down in any other way Chloé: Shut up Chloé: I was wasted and you're not giving a second chance Buster: If it was only how unfuckable you are, I'd let you off Chloé: You certainly managed Chloé: Trust me Buster: As I've only got your word on it, I have to Chloé: How else do you expect me to prove it? Chloé: DNA test? Buster: I don't care Buster: It happened and it ain't again. End of story Chloé: Whatever you say Buster: There ain't nothing else to say Buster: Unless you've got something you desperately wanna add? Chloé: Just talking to James Chloé: he reckons you're well weird about your cousin Buster: Says the lad who told me in graphic detail what fucking her was like? Okay Chloé: Didn't do it for you? Chloé: Poor boy 😂 Buster: But I'm the vile one, sure Chlo Chloé: Calm down, it's only bants Chloé: You're sooooo serious now Buster: Serious about how much I want you to fuck off out of my inbox Chloé: Can't handle it now or what? Chloé: There's a reason, I know Buster: I ain't never wanted to handle you, babe Chloé: Obvs not Chloé: not related to you am I Chloé: how country 😂 Buster: Fuck off Buster: Excuse me if you slagging off my family isn't a huge turn on for me, like Chloé: Why's it matter Chloé: Not gonna say it to their face am I Buster: You literally did say shit to my sister though Buster: Already forgotten or what? Chloé: No I never Chloé: Mads tagged her Chloé: then everyone else did Chloé: it wasn't me Buster: Back in the day in was all you though Chloé: She say that did she? Chloé: I was the only one who even tried to be her friend Chloé: not my fault she was in love with me Buster: Bullshit Buster: You ain't her type either, babe Buster: Get over yourself Chloé: Hmm not how I remember it Chloé: not like you were paying any attention so what would you know tbh Buster: I've heard it from her now Buster: Not just in Dublin seeing my girlfriend, as you've already worked out Chloé: Thrilled for you both, I'm sure Buster: Act like it then Buster: Leave me alone Buster: And it goes without saying, my sister as well Chloé: Well you see I can't Chloé: Hate to burst your bubble, of course Buster: Yeah you can Chloé: I really can't Chloé: As fun as this has been I have some news Buster: Go on then Buster: Sooner you've said it, sooner you can go Chloé: Ha Chloé: I'm pregnant Buster: What the fuck, Chlo? Even for you that's low Buster: Still going to Abi's party though, yeah? Buster: Bullshit Chloé: God, I can still have fun and A GLASS Chloé: beside the point Chloé: [pics of tests] Buster: Well yeah, you can do whatever you want until you prove it's my kid Chloé: How do you expect me to do that Chloé: and I know it's yours, thank you very much Buster: You might, but I don't Buster: And forgive me if I don't automatically take your word for it after all the shit you've said and done, like Chloé: Well if you weren't being so difficult Buster: Me? Buster: Fuck that Buster: Get a prenatal DNA and get back to me or wait until the kid is born, do it and get back to me Chloé: Wow Chloé: Class act Chloé: That's going to require a bit of cooperation, babes Buster: All you need is a blood sample or mouth swab Buster: I'll give you either Chloé: Done this before, have you? Chloé: Jesus Christ Chloé: it's a child, your child Buster: Not as far I know yet Buster: You having this convo with James and the rest of them too, are you? Chloé: Fuck off Chloé: No Chloé: and don't you dare tell ANYONE Buster: Like I want them knowing about it Buster: Whether it's my kid or not Buster: I've gotta tell my parents though so Chloé: You can tell them Chloé: Mine don't know yet Buster: You should tell them too Chloé: Will you tell them with me? Buster: Okay Chloé: Yay good Chloé: When are you back? Buster: I was gonna skip school but Buster: When were you planning on telling them? Chloé: I don't know, doesn't matter Buster: Of course it does Buster: You need to decide what you're gonna do Buster: They can help you Chloé: What? Chloé: I know what I'm doing Chloé: I've already been shopping with the girls Buster: I thought you didn't want anyone to know? Chloé: I don't want YOU telling people it could be anyone else's Chloé: when it couldn't, how rude Buster: So you've told your friends but not your parents? Buster: Come on, Chlo Buster: Have you even been to the doctors or anything? Chloé: Yeah they'll just fuss and wanna know things Chloé: how cringe Chloé: No point yet Chloé: I think Chloé: it's like 12 weeks scan, yeah? Buster: You can get DNA done at 9 weeks Buster: I've just looked it up Chloé: How long's it been? Buster: If you don't know that how are you so sure it's my kid? Chloé: I haven't slept with anyone else for ages Chloé: if you must know Buster: It is kind of worth knowing, yeah Buster: Fuck's sake Chloé: Don't be funny with me Chloé: I just know alright Buster: Don't tell me how to be Buster: I asked you after if you needed me to take you to the pill and you said no Chloé: Well I thought I was fine, obviously Buster: Well, now neither of us are, obviously Chloé: I'm good Chloé: Drama Chloé: It'll be nice, if you let it Buster: Nice? Buster: Grow up, Chlo Chloé: Well I'm not getting rid of it Chloé: you've done it now, deal with it Buster: Like I said, when you prove to me that it's my baby, I will Chloé: Fine, I will Chloé: you'll see Chloé: anyway, I'm going out, gotta get my nails done for tonight Buster: I'm glad you've got your priorities in order, babe Buster: Jesus Christ Chloé: What? Chloé: I can't do anything, I told you I've got loads of stuff for it Chloé: keeping it at Lindseys Buster: Don't go the party Buster: That's what you could do Chloé: I'm not going to sit at home on a saturday night Chloé: i'm not 40 Buster: Clearly. 40 year old's don't tend to get knocked up accidentally as a rule Chloé: Menopause'll do that to you babe Buster: That's not the point Buster: We need to talk about this you can't just ruin my life and then go do a toast with your friends Chloé: Me ruin yours? I didn't impregnate myself Buster: You're ruining your own by not thinking this through Chloé: I'm not a baby killer Chloé: sorry about it Buster: I don't even have words for how stupid that sounds Chloé: I can't believe you're trying to make me get an abortion Buster: I'm not trying to make you do anything except use your brain Buster: What about uni? Are you still gonna go or what? Buster: Are you gonna get your own place or stay with your mum and dad? Chloé: Wow, 20 questions! Buster: This isn't a game Buster: Fucking hell Chloé: I'm having a baby Chloé: that's my plan Buster: And then what? Chloé: Be a mum? Buster: You know how hard that's gonna be, yeah? Chloé: I think I'll manage babe Chloé: I'm not an idiot Buster: You're an idiot if you think it's easy Chloé: How hard can it be Buster: Very Buster: Babies can't do fuck all and kids aren't much better Chloé: Yeah, I know how to feed it and change it Chloé: Abi's got a baby sister she's so cute Buster: Good for her Buster: I bet she ain't doing the night feeds while her parents sleep, is she Chloé: Whatever Buster: Don't fucking whatever me, Chlo Chloé: Don't you talk to me like that Buster: I can't talk to you right now if you're gonna be like this Chloé: That's good because you're making me late Buster: Fine Buster: Bye then Chloé: 👋

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