#doesnt mean she ever stops thinking about him though. all alone on that space ship a million years a way.

[tamaharu]

ten telling rose that jack was "busy rebuilding the earth" is sick and twisted ill give him a slight pass because he told her that while in the throes of a bad regeneration but you knowwww she asked to go find him immediately after the christmas invasion and ten just shot her this look of indescribable, unfamiliar empty darkness, then looked away and told her they cant. jacks too busy. hey, what do you think about new earth? new new earth! get a little past the great and bountiful human empire, see how it all turns out, safe and sound after they fixed it! and normally rose would try and get a real answer out of him, but she doesnt recognize that awful look on his face. she doesnt recognize the easy way he moves on. and it terrifies her. she just spent a whole adventure doubting him, and he terrifies her, and she needs to get over it. so she does. and so she doesnt ask about jack again.

[chicagopd2020]

New Beginnings Are Good For Everyone Ch.6

Jay's P.O.V

I just dont understand why she thinks that she has to do this. We could have easily put in another officer to go undercover and we could have got the same result. I completely understand that she has a history with him & everything but she is my partner & I just do not want to see her getting hurt & with how she said that he took the break up I am so afraid that is exactly whats going to happen. I have got to at least try & change her mind.

"Kim can I talk to you for minute?"

"Sure whats going on" She asks

"I understand your reasoning in wanting to do this but isnt there another way, we can put another officer in there & get the same result"

"Your right, We could put another officer undercover but why not put someone in that has a past with him and that knows how he acts and everything. If we put someone else in that could take so much more time and right now time is something that we cant really spare."

"I just know how you said that your past was with him & I dont want you to get into something that is going to end up bad for you, something that will get you hurt or anything"

Kim can see that worry in Jay's eyes. "Jay I will be fine. Plus I know that the team is just a text away if I feel like I am in any type of danger."

Letting out a breathe that I didnt know I was holding "Yes, we are. If every night before you go to bed after you spend the day with him, if you need someone to talk to. Just call"

"Thanks Jay, I may have to take you up on that"

As everyone is getting their stuff to head home for the night, Voight stops them one last time. "Kim, just because you have only been on the team a couple days doesnt mean anything, if at any point you feel like something is a little to far or you just cant handle something, just call anyone or just text us and we will be right there."

Kim just looks down for a second and then speaks " Thanks Sargent, this one is going to be a little tought but I will be ok, I just want to get all of these men behind bars where they belong" she says right be she starts to walk down toward her car. The way that she sees this is the sooner that she starts this the quicker that it will be over.

Kim's P.O.V.

The ride home was so quiet, left alone with my thoughts and just trying to pull myself together to get my head straight with everything that I was about to have to do. As I arrived at my apartment I knew that I had to have a game plan, you knew that he wasnt the smartest person but he also knew that after what he done to you that he wasnt just gonna buy some bull crap story, so you had to be smart about this one.

Grabbing the 6 pack of beer out of the refrigerator I head for the front door and take a huge breathe knowing that it was now or never. Sending the team a quick text saying that you were going in, I set off to do something that should have been done a long time ago.

Standing here staring at the front door knowing the only thing that i have to do is knock, but all of a sudden my arms seem so heavy for some reason. With a deep breathe to get me into the right head space, I knock on put on the fakest smile that I have ever had on my face. Waiting for him to open the door, I was getting impatient and thought that maybe I would have to try again tomorrow and that was ok with me but right as I turn to walk back to my apartment the door opens. To say that he had the expression of shock on his face would be an understatment. He looked as if he didnt know what to say so I thought that I would break the silence and maybe that would make it a little bit easier.

"I know that I am the last person you expected at your door when you opened it, but I kinda figured since we are going to be neighbors that maybe we should put that past behind us and start over again. What do you say?" I say as I hold that 6 pack of beer up

He was still a little stunned but smiled and says "Sure" He moves out the way and pushes the door open a little more so that I can make my way into the apartment. His apartment wasnt much different than mine, but you could definetly tell that it was a mans apartment. As you sit on the couch and take one of the beers out for him and then another for yourself. It was quieter now than it was at the door, you knew that one of you had to speak or you were going to get no where.

So once again I was the first one the speak "So what has brought you out here to Chicago?"

He finally finds his voice "Just a job opportunity that I couldnt say no to."

"Gotcha" I say as I took another drink of beer. Cause I knew that I was going to need this with everything that I was about do and wasnt fully mentally prepared for.

The conversation finally got to flowing and both of you were asking each other questions just catching up with each other, well he was catching up and you was just trying to get some type of information that you could give Voight. Thinking that it was time to give it a shot about asking what type of work that he was in, even though all those years ago he wouldnt tell you.

"I cant actually remember, what type of work is it that you do?"

"I am in the Shipping business, Ship packages and recieve them from different countries"

"Do you ever deliever them yourself or do you just get the prepared for the shipping?" Trying to not sound like a cop but a friend that was curious

"I usually just prepare the packages,We have other people that works for the independent owner that I am working for. What brought you out here to Chicago?"

"So its not a big company, you always said that you would never work but a big company said that they were all liars. Same as you, a job that I couldnt pass up. Better pay and better,higher up postiion."

"Yeah. Would rather work for someone that I know that I can trust that focuses on the one business he has and not a million different things. What is it that you do again?"

"I am in advertising. No that much fun but I love what I do."

"You always wanted to be a cop what happened to that?"

"Yeah, I just realized that I needed to think about something realistically and find a job that I will be able to make a life for myself."

"I can understand that. I moved here for the same reason a little more money and seems like more opportunities and little more money."

Looking at the time, realizing that you can finally leave and head home.

"Im sorry to cut this short but I have to get up early in the morning and get to work"

"You know this night that this night doesnt have to end...you could always just spend the night"

"As fun as that sounds,I dont think that is a good idea at least not right now, I just have few things that I to do tonight before bed, so I will be ready for the office in the morning"

"OK...Just know that the offer stands whenever your ready to except it"

"I will definetly keep that in mind" You say goodnight as you close the door behind you.

Saying that you were glad that it was over is an understatement.You let out a sigh of relief when you are in your apartment as you rest your head against your door with your eyes closed.

"Was it really that bad"

The voice from the person on your couch scared the crap out of you....

[msiopao]

Sera with the Members

a/n: mark is in this because dream is now a fixed unit and he’s part of the lineup!!!!!!

WATERMELON ADDICT

was the person who made Sera comfortable since he reminded her of home

always asks if canadian bacon is better than american bacon

‘i dONt kNoW, sERa! mEAT iS mEaT!’

she didnt actually cry on stage when he was leaving but she cried when it was just the two of them and he recorded for the last time

it was her idea for hyuck to buy him a big bottle of ketchup

CANNOT believe that mark was a churchboy and ends up acting up in music videos

the duality SCARES her

calls her finny since her name is serafina

sera has her own room but she has an extra bed so he sleeps in there when he spends the night

learned this watermelon shake to help mark’s hangover

english all the time

ever since they met, mark has always placed his elbow on her head due to her short height

sera learned this fried rice recipe from her mom and he goes over to their dorm for breakfast

‘mark bls dont touch anything. get out of the kitchen and go watch tv or something’

always brings up his messed up eggs

‘gordon spitting facts tho’

whenever he feels too overworked or too pressured, sera has always made it a point to come over to their dorm and have a movie night with just the 2 of them with his favorite snacks and drinks

LONJIN

omg these two

sera is typically not mean but when renjun starts, she becomes ruthless

always calling out his fake personality

‘everyone, don’t believe him! he’s 2 faced!’

‘what are you even saying! you act like you’re so quirky and giggly but you yeeted jisung into the wall last night!’

‘YAH!’

so yea, they fight a lot

but its very playful and they know where that line is drawn and not cross it

he talks to her about space and aliens and she listens to every word bc renjun sounds so confident and happy whenever he talks about that stuff

they’re actually 10 days apart but sera acts like she’s 10 years older than him

‘IS THAT HOW YOU TALK TO SOMEONE OLDER?!’

‘okay, granny’

always in awe whenever renjun draws and paints and she really likes seeing him in his element

unbeknowst to her, he actually draws her a lot

wants to frame all of his work 

they go out to the roof and stargaze

he steals her airpods just to watch her go crazy

once hid her phone in the fridge

lives for his vocals

cannot believe how much he’s grown from chewing gum era to now

her heart strings were tugged when he cried in dnyl

renjun always says that he wishes sera was born as his little sister bc they act like they’re siblings

EYESMILE PRINCE

hmm

so their is kinda complicated

sera’s closest to him than all the members bc 1, he was her first friend and 2, he has cats

before, when they still went to school, her and jeno always went together

yes, jaemin and jeno and her went together in the beginning

but jaemin was in the hospital and recovering so it just became them 2

also, she goes to visit his parents so she can see his cats

this results to his parents and older sister adoring her

‘bongsik, nal, and seol are my kids’ - lee sera, 00 line vlive

she always craves for attention and when it isnt given bc he’s too busy playing, she just walks into his room and sits on his lap while he plays

tries to get his attention by saying stuff but he teases her by acting like she aint there

‘fine, i’ll go to jaemin’

jeno wasnt supposed to be blonde for the comeback but they were just messing around and next thing they knew, jeno’s tips were bleach blonde

when shes on that,,,, time,,,,, hes the only one in the dorm she listens to

not even johnny, who’s practically her father

collabs with her mukbang show and jsmr

he mentions her like at least once whenever he has lives that she’s not in

steals his glasses all the time just to watch him wander around with this confused adorable face

hugs are so cute w these two and czennies see them hugging in videos and she can barely reach his shoulder 

forehead kisses and sweater paws for daysss

NANA

drop dead gorgeous boy

shes not safe from jaemin’s affections

*cue jeno glaring at him for stealing her*

we all know how much he loves the members and whenever sera breathes, he busts his uwus

takes so many pictures of her

sera buys him lots of lip balms and carmex but he always forgets to put them on

sera hates peaches but she buys him peach flavored sweets whenever she sees them

‘NANA!!’

sera is also an attention whore so she always runs to him and wraps her arms around him and he squeals by how cute she is

bought him an expensive camera for his birthday

has a polaroid picture of him in her clear phone case

actually, her phone background is an old picture of predebut sera, jeno, and jaemin

one of the rare moments where she cried was when she found out that jaemin wouldnt be in a few comebacks bc he was sick

kept visiting him and jaemin cannot repay her enough

the dorm is full of ryan and winnie plushies from the sofa, a tiny winnie plush on the corner of the island counter, and their bedrooms

sera is the one who always throws away the his satanic drink even though it’s still full

‘yah, you need to think about your health and if it your body is tired, dont fight it by trying to drink these to keep your energy’

sleepovers with them are often and sometimes found sleeping on the spare bed in her room

FULL SUN

our big babie

oh boi when he got hurt

sera called him twice a day, one in the morning and one at night, just to check if it’s still hurting and making sure he’s resting

forever remembers when he dressed up as a girl 

‘you see, i’m not the only girl member. dongsuk is just on hiatus right now’

his name on her phone is ‘man-child’

when he went on tour with 127, she really missed him

like she missed him so much that she kept posting on instagram for him to hurry back home

still mad that he moved dorms to be with the older members

when sera got sick, she made him sing ‘no longer’ to her like a lullaby

when he asks sera to do something for him, usually she says no because he asks her to do ridiculous things but his aegyo always convinces her

thinks his color amblyopia is so fascinating and adds more into the unique traits he has

another attention giver and she loves hugging him because he gives really warm hugs

one time, jeno and sera had a fight and it got so bad that hyuck had to be called and he was the only one who got to talk some sense in sera to talk to jeno

but the legendary markhyuck summer fight was resolved because sera yelled at them and cried since they are best friends and they shouldnt be like that to each other

they made up since ‘wow sera cried’ and ‘the members are ready to beat us up if we continue this’

and by members, like all members, including the older ones

sera knows how much being the moodmaker title burdens him so she tries to ease that burden by talking to him just the two of them

DOLPHIN CHILD

look how adorable he is UWU

he is 1/2 of sera’s sons

like she’s whipped for him and jisung and he knows it too

‘noona~’

‘yes, i will give you the world, the stars, and the moon’

thinks his laugh is endearing and is sad that it isnt that high-pitched anymore since his voice got a little deeper

cannot believe how much he’s grown too

when he speaks in chinese, sera thinks its the cutest thing 

‘can we give his scalp some rest? its not healthy for the boy’

trust fund babies

you know how chenle has 3 airpods?

sera went through 4 phones since she keeps losing or breaking it

dont ask how bc shes as clumsy as namjoon

had this phase where he wouldn’t stop back-hugging his noona and she just left it alone

always buys him snacks and cooks him a lot of food bc she thinks he’s too skinny and wants him to be healthy and gain some fat on those cheeks again

on their break, she went to china with jisung and her lock screen is a picture of her and chenle holding his nephew

triggered her baby fever

czennies ship them but he makes it clear she’s the older sister he’s never had

nct dream took a vacation to her hometown and she bought them basketball tickets so chenle could see his idol

his mom practically adopted her since she goes over to his apartment all the time whenever the others are getting too much for her

she misses him so much its not even funny

JISUNG PWARK

our maknae is growing up :(

sera had the whole family sit and watch the first episode of dancing high

so proud of her boy

she called him during the show and it was shown and heard about her telling him to take care of himself and to not be too hard on his body and that she’s waiting for him at home

as the youngest member overall, sera babies him the most

he obvs takes advantage of it and she used to cuddle him to sleep when he was younger bc he had a hard time sleeping

again, cooks for him a lot since he’s a growing boy and making sure he takes vitamins and drinks water and limit sugary things

she calls his mom to give him updates about her son

remember his phone that he used until it actually died?

sera actually bought him a new one before that happened and just casually gave it to him

‘i know this was going to happen so i just took care of it. i have to take care of you, jisung-ah’

hypes him up whenever he dances bc wow this boy is actually talented

doesnt really like skinship but he tolerates it when she holds his hands bc theyre so much bigger than hers

one day just woke up and she got so confused when jisung grew up

‘did you grow in your sleep?’

‘n-no?’

loves his awkward nature and she keeps saying how adorable he is and cute he is whenever he acts cool

god, she’s just so whipped for him

but tbh, who isn’t?

aaaahhhhhh i cannot believe our wish came true and they became a fixed unit and we really getting a comeback and an mv in the 29th!!!

[skips-is-asleep]

Ranking All The Sollux Ships In Character Order

Firstly i wanna make it clear that i headcanon sollux as bisexual (fucking obviously) so genders not a factor in any of my reads of the ships

June/Sollux: This one’s really crack-ey. I used to be super fucking into it but now it’s like…only good in theory i guess. 3/10

Rose/Sollux: Pale? Perhaps. Ive seen some good stuff for them pale, it’s pretty interesting to think about, especially considering how similar he is to Dave and how THEY get along together. 4/10 Potential

Dave/Sollux: Like i said, i read sollux and dave as pretty clear character parallels. Dave might get a kick out of verbally T-Bagging him but i think Sollux would quickly get annoyed, perhaps a spur of the moment pitch fling? maybe theyre pitch friends with benefits but only very rarely and sollux cant stand him any other time? All good ideas! 5/10

Jade/Sollux: I could definitely see it! Theyre first meeting has them hitting it off pretty well, I think sollux would really like her, but i dunno if she’d really like him all that much. 5/10

Aradia/Sollux: Timeless, literally. Flavor is immaculate. I prefer them pale FOR SURE, and i always have. Ive never read any of their relationships, chemistry, or conversations as THAT kind of romantic, but i think its super valid for people who do read it that way 12/10

Tavros/Sollux: TavSol is SO UNDERRATED. It’s SO CUTE. Tavros would be comfortable enough to sass Sollux just right and sollux would be taken so off guard by it, he’d find it hilarious, like a baby saying a swear word. They’re fidusspawn buddies, theyre Friend’s with Aradia Buddies, like theyre actually so fucking cute, open your eyes 6/10

Karkat/Sollux: Do i have to talk about this one. Do i have to– Okay so This is Actually The Best Sollux Ship Ever Ya;ll are Wrong About Everything And I Am Right 20000000000000000/10

Nepeta/Sollux: I dont have a lot to say about this one. Does anyone? I dont know a lot about nepeta and i dont have any friends who love her, so i could only guess if she’d actually want to get along with him, or if his personality would be offputting to her. Then again, she canonically had/has a crush on karkat, so maybe sollux’s Ability To Respect Women would make him look appealing. Maybe she’d ask him for advice on how to ask out karkat and hed WANT to give her bad advice because he wants to piss off and embarrass karkat, but nepeta just looks so innocent and genuine in her feelings, he can’t bring himself to do it 5/10

Kanaya/Sollux: Pale, obviously and WOW, top notch. Theyre very very good friends, good moirails, she mothers the hell out of him and he does little errands for her. She taught him how to mend his own clothes so he can do it himself and not depend on her, but they still do it together. Also if you read that one really dumb fic i wrote, i headcanon that they have tea parties even though sollux doesnt like tea 8/10

Terezi/Sollux: Pale again, very VERY cute. Writing this fic was so much fun, i loved how they interact with each other here. And in the comics, he’s so  surprised that she calls him cool like “oh my god she thinks im cool” AndD WHEN HE WENT BLIND SHE WAS THE FIRST PERSON HE WANTED TO TALK TO THATS SO CUTE WHY DONT MORE PEOPLE SHIP THIS 8.5/10

Vriska/Sollux: sound byte of that clip from Weird Al’s “I’ll sue ya” Do i even need a reason?? 0/10

Equius/Sollux: Okay ya know what, THIS IS A GOLDMINE yall are SLEEPING on equisol. My friends cannot get me to stop talking about this, but i dont think ive had the opportunity here to talk about it. Imagine Equius just flat out not believe that sollux is at all capable as a psionic bc he’s so scrawny and wimpy, and even when sollux grinds his teeth into the pavement, it still frustrates him that he could be so much STRONGER if he put the effort into it, “You could be strong in TWO WAYS, sollux” and yeah that does sound appealing to him, but seeing equius get so fucking mad that he’s not ripped but is still able to knock his ass down is so funny it’s almost not attractive. He definitly doesn’t tell people he has a pitch crush on equius, ESPECIALLY NOT KARKAT ARE YOU KIDDING and threatens equius at gun point not to tell anyone because could you image, suave, cool, adorkable, gets all the ladies sollux is in a kismesistude with EQUIUS, GOD. Have ya’ll even read that paradox space comic with the two of them i swe– 9/10

Gamzee/Sollux: That same fic i linked earlier is also a pretty good interaction between them that i like? Sollux just. Cannot stand him. At all, and it’s so funny. Maybe it’s a little, tiny tiny bit pitch, he just wants to strangle him in a way that’s not ENTIRELY platonic cause maybe he’s kind of hot in a deranged  clown way? 5/10

Eridan/Sollux: Wheres the flavor? i dont taste anything, nutmeg, cinnamon, I don’t tast–No but for real, no offense to fellow homestuck old fans, erisol is kind of trash. I ADORE them when theyre beating each other within an inch of their lives. Like, sollux dropping a mall on Eridan as a “warning” and eridan shooting at him in the sky is GOLD. I prefer erisolkat, perhaps when eridan and sollux are stuck alone for way too long and have to “pass the time” somehow, and by pass the time, see how many times i can stab you before you pass out, and karkat has to take the knives away 4/10

Feferi/Sollux: This one is good, an old classic, but @zeldasoft-art made a really fucking funny post about what if they’re only pretending to date each other to piss eridan off and i lost my fucking marbles 8/10

Jane/Sollux: im not even gonna– 0/10

Roxy/Sollux: hacker buddies, tech buddies, computer buddies. Like if rivalry and one-up-manship, typical kismesis behavior had a red/pale counterpart. I feel like they’d have a lot of fun making projects together  and contests but they wouldnt be that mean or violent.

Dirk/Sollux: This is. A little bit of a guilty pleasure for me. This is basically equisol, but dirk is mean to sollux in sollux’s brand of mean, and shares sollux’s sense of humor. Imagine the two of them getting into hard roasting each other, getting more and more mean with insults until Sollux tries to make a move on him and that last insult hurt a little hard so dirk gets a little pouty or misty in the eyes cause you don’t diss a man’s MLP collection dude, those got him through a lot of rough times. The fact that dirk made Hal at all makes him like 50% more attracted to him 8/10

Jake/Sollux: He would love bullying him, so much. I dunno if there’s any romance in it or if he just hates jake in the not fun away and wants to make him cry 3/10

[dukeofriven]

Fun Jade/Rose Facts (Well... facts.)

Note: These facts are divided between “In-Comic” (Everything from Page 1 of Homestuck (A young man stands in his bedroom...) to page 8128 (The End) and “The Credits” (Pages 8129-8130). If I update this after the Epilogue, we’ll... cross that bridge when we get there.

In-Comic Jade/Rose Facts

Jade and Rose have only five conversations in the entire comic.

1 2 3 4 (2 pages) 5 (2 pages)

Conversation #4 is repeated. We see it first from Jade’s POV, then from Rose’s.

The number of conversations goes up to six if you count GrimBark Jade saying “Bark” and “Hey guys long time no see” to the assembled group in Act 6 Intermission 5 - but since Rose says nothing back, I am not counting this as a conversation.

You may do so if you wish.

After removing dialogue tags (like “TT”) and Pesterlog archival data (“ceased pestering” etc), their shortest conversation is their fourth at 80 words long.

Their longest one-on-one conversation is their third at 571 words long.

Their longest conversation is their fifth. It features Doc Scratch, and runs some 1,170 words long.

All told, about 2,711 words are exchanged in one-another’s chat windows. Discounting Doc Scratch’s intrusion into their final conversation, they speak 2324 words to one-another.

If you are counting the Grimbark conversation, add another 7 words.

6 if ‘BARK” is more of a sound.

By contrast, this single one-page Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory exchange between Dave, John, and Karkat runs some 2188 words - over a thousand words longer than any single Jade/Rose conversation, and only some 136 less than their entire conversation history.

Rose never speaks a single word to Jade aloud.

Rose never uses Jade’s name in conversation with her.

Jade and Rose "share the screen” 15 times during the comic. (I have excluded both Caliborn’s ‘Homosuck’ cutouts and his Plasticine maquette because A) they are facsimiles of an event recited by an even-more unreliable narrator than usual, not the real thing, and B) Seriously: Fuck That Guy)

One of these on-camera appearances was ret-conned out of existence.

In only seven of these appearances are both Jade and Rose conscious.

Here are all their on-camera appearances:

Act 6 Intermission 5

(Don’t think I ever noticed Gamzee hiding in the background before.) Act 6 Act 5

Act 7

(It’s tough to tell but I think the above photo is the closest Rose and Jade ever get in the comic.)

Rose never speaks to Jade again after their fifth conversation in Act 5 Act 2.

Rose and Jade do not converse for the entirety of Act 6.

Rose and Jade do not converse for the entirety of Act 7

Going off “page math” alone. here are some fun facts about Jade and Rose conversations:

5% - or about 1/20th of the comic - passes before Rose and Jade speak.

Rose and Jade spend 39% - 39/100ths - of the comic “in-touch” with one another.    

They spent the remaining 56% of the comic not talking.

Rose and Jade spend approximately 61% of Homestuck not in-contact, not in-touch with one another.

Counting the repeat conversation and a single still panel, there are only 9 pages in Homestuck where Rose and Jade are talking.

0.11072834645669291% of Homestuck - 5,536,417,323/5,000,000,000,000ths - (5.5 milliard billionths of the comic - 5.5 billion trillionths for our American readers. ~11/10000) is devoted to Rose and Jade’s “on-screen” relationship. And that’s counting a repeat conversation and a silent panel.

Rose and Jade “share” the screen - either while message-conversing or literally “in the same shot” in 20 pages of Homestuck.

That’s 0.24606299212598426% of Homestuck. About 24,606,299,213/10,000,000,000,000 (~1/400ths) of the comic.

Homestuck contains about 817,612 words.

Jade-Rose conversations all together comprise some 2779 words, taking into account that the fourth conversation is repeated twice.

Jade-Rose conversations comprise approximately 0.33989227163984875% of Homestuck’s text.

That’s 8497306791/2500000000000ths

Credits Jade/Rose Facts

There is no canonical evidence that Jade attended Rose’s wedding.

Seriously - she’s not there in the pictures. When all the kids are lifting the bride and bride up on chairs as part of the “thing done during the horah that isn’t actually part of the horah guess who just did a deep dive into the history of the horah did you know it’s from Greece via Romania and only dates back to 1930 as a traditional pan-Jewish custom it’s kind of like clan tartans in that it’s a cultural touchstone that feels ancient but isn’t” she’s... absent. Jake is in the picture twice once at the top, once in trickster mode on the bottom. Jade Harley: had better things to do than go to Rose’s wedding?

Jade and Rose are the only two kids to never be shown with Trickster modes.

This following photograph is the only conversation Rose and Jade ever have in-person in all the Homestuck franchise. It is their only moment of contact after Act 5 Act 2. We have no demonstrative way of proving that they ever conversed in-person before John’s 18th birthday party on Earth-C:

This is their only verbal conversation, and their only conversation to go textually unrecorded.

We have no way of proving that this is not Rose and Jade burying the hatchet after a... four year feud after Jade clumsily let Rose know her mother had been brutally murdered. 

This is 1.3297872340425532% of the entire credits video.

That’s 664893617/50000000000ths of the entire credits - because the only good joke is a cumbersome running joke.

BONUS: Snapchat Jade/Rose Facts

Welcome to the land of dubious canonicity. [Update 23/04/19: I’d like to note that I used this phrase before the Epilogues hit. Also, these are now officially outside of even the broader Homestuck meta-canon as far as anyone can tell. Radio silence on this remains aggravating. What were these and what did Andrew Hussie actually want?]

Do you remember the Snapchats? They didn’t stop being a thing or anything.

... well, they did, actually. Who knows if they’re canon any more. [Again: they are not]

That’s why this section is a bonus - its demi-canonical!

Man, remember when we were all excited that the future of Homestuck was going to be snapchats?

We were going to get so many snapped chats.

So many you guys.

Sigh.

Please no walking on the grass. That grass is only semi-canon. We are liable for damages with the rental company.

Jade and Rose appear together in one (1) snapchat photo:

I’m pretty sure this is the only Beta kids group shot in the entirety of Homestuck!

This Jade/Rose interaction comprises 1.5151515151515151% of all the snapchats.

That’s 946969697/62500000000ths.

That’s really all there is to say on the matter.

FAQ Will you cover the Epilogue?

I will, of course, update this most important resource if/when the Epilogue gives us any more Jade/Rose content. Statistically speaking, it won’t take up much space. You missed interaction [X]! Can I tell you about it?

Yes please! Thanks for letting me know, I will add it right away and update my maths.

You missed interaction [Caliborn’s Master Plan]! Can I -? You may not. This seems elaborate and kind of pointless - why would you do this? Because Jade/Rose is a ship and talking about the Jade/Rose friendship is a thing and I... uh... I didn’t get it. But now having done all this work I... ... I still don’t get it. I always questioned Jade/Rose because I said to myself “they don’t really interact much,” and now that I’ve sat down and run the numbers they really don’t interact much. Now if you’re wondering “did you run though every single conversation looking for the times Jade mentioned Rose or Rose mentioned Jade” the answer would be “ha ha ha that would be crazy of course I did.” I am very tired. And... they don’t talk about each-other much. I mean ‘actually’ talk - I’m not counting all the “hey do you know what Rose/Jade is doing” questions asked between the kids or the trolls (though there’s not that many, really) - I’m talking about actual conversations, like when John talks about how he feels about having to marry Rose according to the Shipping Chart or Karkat mutters that Jade maybe kind of meant something to him once. Jade has this to say about Rose - talking to, of all people, Eridan: GG: rose? GG: i do not have a score to settle with rose!!! GG: why would you think that?    CA: oh CA: wwell fuck CA: suppose i wwas guessin it wwas natural to presume somesuch relation like that betwween the twwo a you    GG: i think you are projecting your own attitude on to others GG: just because you tend to hate and/or hit on everyone you meet doesnt mean everyone else is that way GG: rose just sent me a code for a crystal ball, shes my friend and is basically the best!  It’s a very Harleybert sentiment. And sadly it doesn’t add up to anything. At the very least, Rose doesn’t think that much about Jade. Take it from me: a guy who literally went through every conversation Rose and Jade ever had with and about each other: Rose doesn’t think much about Jade. When Jade shows up sleeping at the end of act six lots of people talk about her: Rose’s only comment is to make a crack about Jade ending end-game ships when she wakes up, and also to note that there was Bird Dave and Dog Jade and Cat Rose but No [Animal] Egbert. That’s it. The most Rose ever has to say is the “she has the karma” conversation all the way back in Act 3 - and it’s still really about Dave. When GrimbarkJade shows up on LOLAR... Rose makes no comment whatsoever. Jade does not take the time to go see Rose when she wakes up in the ret-con timeline. Jade discusses Rose with John only in the context of John and his shipping chart destiny. Rose never seems to have anything to say about Jade to Dave or John. If these kids had had a normal sibling existence in the same high school and John had been hit by a car Jade would have remained friends with Dave but she and Rose would be revealed to not be all that close - their common point of friendship is John, not one-another. Rose talks about so much shit - but not about Jade. Jade might say Rose is “the best” but it’s Harley hyperbole more than anything: she didn’t even get Rose a birthday present because she says Rose is hard to shop for! Rose LaLonde is hard to shop for? What?

There. It’s an Emily the Strange t-shirt with Charles Dutton’s head. it took me ten seconds to come up with it you are welcome Jade. You want to ship Rose/Jade? Fuck yeah, man - go for it! You want to write an eighty thousand word fan-fiction on Rose and Jade: BFF Treasure Hunter Essayists? Sounds fucking rad please write that. You want to say that, canonically, Jade and Rose are great friends? I’m going to have to disagree. Homestuck is a story about four friends - it is not a story about four equally friendly friends. Maybe it was meant to be: not going to lie, I like Act 6 and the ending of Homestuck a lot but even I concede that Jade gets shafted in the “having shit to do” department - the fact that she sits out the big Giant Talky Session at the end of the comic? Weird as shit. If she was up and awake and had any kind of conversation with Rose where they seemed friendly and in-touch I would change my opinion in a heartbeat: I’m not some crank who hates Jade and Rose being best of friends because I’m a weirdo. I mean I am a weirdo but for other reasons, not this. No, I just don’t agree with the idea because it’s not supported by the text. Five conversations in seven acts? Less than 3,000 words exchanged in a document running into the hundred of thousands - and some of that repeat, and some of that the words of a giant cueball tool? If Andrew Hussie wanted us to believe that Jade Harley and Rose LaLonde are particularly close friends, he put no sign of that into the text. If I missed something please - tell me. Argue it with me, even, if you disagree with my assessment - or my math.I am not great at math. Regardless - reach out. We should talk about this more. Edit: Updated 10:38 EST April 12, 2019: corrected multiple typos, changed “dismissed” to “questioning,” clarified point about the horah to sound less weird.

[ruffiorocks]

Supergirl Season 2 episode 1 review. The Kara and James relationship. (Or lack of) FYI. Long Post and NOT James friendly!)  In this essay i will.... actually write an essay!😅

 OK so the parts in bold are what i deemed the most important parts of James and Kara non relationship in this episode. In case you don't want to read it all!

2.28 into the episode and Kara sees Mon El for the first time. (IF i was a Karamel shipper i would say this is where James went out of the window. But one look at at an unconscious guy and falling for him is super creepy! )

3.55 in and Kara is over enthusiastic and rambling about her date with James. While the whole time  Alex looks awkward as hell.

4.14 in and Alex is telling Kara she is doing that thing where she is super over eager which means she really isn't but she's trying to convince herself that she is.

4.20 in and Kara is trying to convince Alex that she is excited but seems to be trying to convince herself more than Alex. Alex just isn't buying it.

7.27 in and Kara is rushing to get ready.

7.35 in and Kara is struggling to find the correct outfit.

7.43- There’s a knock in the door and Kara looks in the mirror, takes a breath and looks like she is mentally preparing for this. 

7.58 - Awkward ‘do you want to come in or go out?'

8.03 - James produces Pizza and Pot stickers, Kara snatches the food and honestly looks more excited about the food than she has about James the entire episode so far! 

8.10 - Kara says pot stickers and Pizza are her favorite. To which James replies ‘Which i know about you!’ Well why wouldn't he know that? They have been friends for a whole year, is this supposed to be impressive?

8.17 - James is surprised Kara isn’t watching the Venture launch because ‘I know how into the Space program you are’. TWICE! Twice in the last 6 minutes he felt the need to point out to Kara two things he knew about her. Who are you trying to convince here James? 

8.25 - Kara puts the TV on, seemingly more interested in the food and it than James. She’s way more excited James said she could put it on than she has been about their date so far. 

11.22 - Kara shows way more excitement about seeing Clark than anything she has shown in regards to James and her date. 

11.37 - Kara shows more excitement and joy in teaming up with Clark than she has ever shown in regards to anything about dating James. This here is what real excitement looks like.

12.43 - Winn shows more excitement and heart eyes in meeting Clark than Kara has EVER shown towards James. 

13.29 - Alex, who in a few episodes will realize she’s gay tells Kara ‘your cousin smells terrific’. Alex the soon to be lesbian shows more interest in Clark than Kara has towards James. 

14.19- Winn tells Clark he looks fantastic. (I ship it!) 

15.28 - Clark is telling James that everyone at the Daily Planet has missed him, and he says he missed them to but he likes it in National City. He says this while glancing at Kara who is nervously touching her glasses and looking really awkward. Thankfully Cat rescued Kara from this situation. 

16.44 - James and Kara have another awkward chat about their rushed date, Kara rambles on about how it isn't OK and it was an important step for them and how they will make a plan, execute the plan fully. Even James says ‘that sounds errr. romantic’. Kara is clearly over compensating here, she doesn't want to do this. 

17.15 - Kara says she wants it to work, James does to aaaaaand cue another interruption. 

18.50 Kara meets Lena

19.02 - Lena turns around and makes eye contact with Kara. 

19.06 - Lena smirks at Kara and asks who she is. 

19.09 - Kara is having trouble remembering her own name! 

19.37 - Clark tells Lena her name isnt Smith its Luthor. Cue Kara glancing at Clark  and giving him a curious look, like ‘Come on, thats not fair’. 

19.44 - Lena tells her back story, but she tells it directly to Kara, not to Clark.

20.12 - ‘Im just a woman trying to make a name for herself outside her family, you understand that?’ Kara ‘YES!’ Lena's already showing she has more in common with Kara than i think James has ever had! 

20.33 Lena ‘Just give me a chance Mr Kent, im here for a fresh start, let me have one’. 

20.38 - Clark tells Lena to have a good day, while in the back ground Kara nods approval at Clark’s answer. Almost as if to say, good job for not being harsh on her again. 

20.52 - Kara asks Clark what he thinks about Lena, he says he's learned not to trust what Luthors say. 

20.59 - Kara tells Clark she isnt a reporter but she kind of believed Lena. 

21.17 - Kara asks Clark how he does it all, the Supergirl part of her life is clear but the rest of it isnt. 

20.32 - Clark says You mean Jimmy?’ Cue Kara’s utter (and quite frankly odd) surprise that he knew about this. 

22.22 - Clark tells Kara to trust her heart and if things are right with James she will know it. Kudos to Clark here, he didnt try to push her towards James. (Like Alex will later do with Mon El) 

25.59 - Kara saves Lena and the helicopter and tells Lena she is safe. 

26.13 -back at Cat Co Kara runs into James stating she’s been looking for him, cue more Kara rambling (i swear this is the most rambling in a single episode we have see so far). She goes on about how nothing is getting in the way of their date. All the while James is looking so done with this situation. While Kara is suggesting Italian and she’ll even fly there he interrupts her. 

26.26 - James says its OK, and asks her to just admit that something has changed for her. 

26.30 - Kara gets as far as saying ‘James’ before she is rudely interrupted  by him saying ‘dont tell me im wrong, or im imagining something because i know you, i thought its what you wanted’. Ignoring the fact that this is the third time in this episode alone James has felt the need to tell Kara he knows her or something about her. He isnt even allowing her to speak.

26.39 - Kara finally stops trying to convince herself she want to be with James. 

26.53 - Kara says she doesnt know what she wants. 

26.54 - The smile James had is now gone, even though he was the one who told her from the start of this conversation to admit something is different. Kara does him the curtsy of doing what he just asked her to do and his response is ‘ Well thats honest at least’ and then he walks off, leaving her in the middle of Cat Co. Dude!! You can’t tell people to admit something is wrong, then act all butt hurt when something is in fact wrong. Instead of acting like a mature adult and not a teenager, he doesn't try to discuss it further, no he walks away butt hurt and wounded like she owed him something. 

(honestly if Kara hadn’t realized James isnt what she wants already, then this should have been the thing that convinced her. I would say she doesn't want to be dating a man child, but we all know what she ends up doing later this season!) 

28.06 - Cat Grant tells Kara to dive! 

28.57 - Cat tells Kara they are used to their comfort zones, but in order to live they have to keep daring and diving. Im curious, does this mean that James was simply a comfort zone for Kara? If she had gotten with him would she have been settling? 

30.29 - Kara is comfortable enough with Lena to walk to the naming ceremony with her and Lena is already confiding in Kara. 

31.30 - Lena is attacked (again), James is at the naming ceremony for some reason. I still dont know why, all he does is ‘save’ someone by helping someone stand up who was already about to do it anyway. Then we dont see him again here. Was this some Guardian foreshadowing? If it was it was s**t!

31.57 - Alex saves Lena from Corbin.

33.22 - Lena returns the favor and saves Alex from Corbin when Kara couldn't. Lena is already showing she is more useful than James has been this whole episode. First she handed over the flash drive, then she saved Alex’s life.

33.36 - Far from looking pissed at Lena for shooting someone, Kara looks impressed. 

33.49 - Alex says ‘ nice work Supergirl’ Er.... Alex? are you forgetting that it was Lena who just saved your ass and she is still standing right there?!! Kara ‘i had help’ she says while looking at Clark in the sky! Err... Kara? again Lena is stood right there! You may have saved the building but Alex is alive because of Lena. This right here unfortunately is just the beginning of Lena saving lives and the world and it either being under appreciated, ignored or Kara getting the credit. A trend that has lasted all the way up to the current season. 

33. Back at L Corp, Lena thanks Clark for writing about how she shot Corbin, Yes Clark! At least you noticed and gave her the credit she deserved! Clark even says he was wrong about Lena. A lesson that will take James a lot longer to learn, while using Clark’s experiences as his reasons. Ironic that Clark was cool with Lena by the end of the first episode. 

34.18 - Lena looks at Kara in THAT way and flusters her once again. She essentially tells her she should be a reporter. Kara in response looks like she just had a religious experience. 

34.31 - Lena. ‘I hope this isn't the last time we talk?’ Kara still flustered ‘ I hope not either’. 

34.40 - Literally the next scene and Kara is telling Cat she wants to be a reporter. Lena, a woman Kara met that day told her she could be a reporter and suddenly she wants to be one. 

Ironically, James spent the whole episode telling Kara all the things he ‘knew about her’ while getting no where. Yet Lena says she thought she was a reporter and suddenly Kara is ecstatic and wants to be one. Lena, a woman who doesn't know Kara, knows Kara better than James does! 

35.20 - Cat gives Kara her CV, it has ‘Reporter’ written across it. Wow.. Cat and Lena had the same realization about Kara the moment they met her! Clever women! Yet Kara’s family, friends and the guy she is about to date were NO help at all in this situation. (Well Clark was a bit! )

36.11 - Cat tells Kara that she inspires her and she sees the hero in her. Lena will later say the same things to both Kara and Supergirl. 

36.53-  Kara meets James on the Cat Co balcony. She tells him that back on Krypton she would be a spinster, something to lighten the mood. But instead of appreciating this, or even acknowledging the fact that, joke or not, Kara just shared some Kryptonian heritage, James is still butt hurt and sulking and he IGNORES her! This prompts Kara into saying she knows she should have things figure out but she doesn't. Last year was about Supergirl, and now its time to figure out who Kara is. 

37.22 - Kara tells James he was right, something has changed. She wanted them together but now her heart is telling her they are best as friends. (and you know what? Thats OK! you can have a failed date with a friend and realize you should stay friends). 

37.41 - James, finally realizes that he has lost this battle and his sulking wont change that, he tells her that they will always be friends and gives her shoulder a squeeze. (Weirdly he does the same shoulder grab/squeeze on Lena’s bare shoulder, but that time is super creepy!)

37.49 - Kara tells James shes’s off to see Clark and invites him to join her, James obviously still sulking says no, but tells her to say hi to Clark for him. Wow... mature James, mature. 

38.03 - Winn is invited to become a permanent member of the DEO. Alex even requested his help at the start of the episode. Id like to take this opportunity to point out that James will NEVER be invited to join the DEO. He simply turns up there and people tolerate his presence. Alex only ever acts annoyed and puts up with James at the DEO,  and pissed at the Guardian nonsense. Winn she wanted there. Even Lena is invited to come and help at the DEO and is welcome there. Why? Because she is actually useful!

39.00 - Clark says he likes it want Kara talks about Krypton. A fact that went over James’ head earlier who didnt appreciate that at all. 

OK! That was a lot. But ive concluded that throughout this entire episode Kara did NOT want to date James. She tried to convince herself she did and that is not good, even Alex noticed this immediately.

Kara rambled and didnt look comfortable with James at all!

Kara had more chemistry with Lena than she did with James the entire episode (or the  previous season). She even showed more interest in her than anything James had to say. 

Kara didnt deliberately mess up her time with James, but he acted like she did. She didnt ask to have the whole Venture, Lena, Corbin emergencies. She even went out of her way to try and fix this. But it was ALL about him. 

James even told Kara to admit there was an issue, he didn't let her speak before going on at her again. Then when she respected him (something he hadn't done) enough to do as he asked, he got butt hurt and walked off like the mature adult he is. 

The writers really went out of their way to destroy whatever spark had been there huh? they couldnt even drag it across two episodes. I have to be honest. I never liked that ship anyway. It took me a while to even remember their ship name! 

[loyalbreed]

      Cent has decided to back away for the time being; because he feels that it is effecting people he has come to appreciate. That he doesnt know how to return such kindness that was given to him in full. And much like the beginning when the catfish thing first happened, he is overwhelmed and doesnt know where to begin to reach out to people. Again like the beginning, the only people who spoke to him about it wanting an answer. Were the people directly effected by it? Myself included, versus people who just kept using it against him?          The Catfish thing was resolved and ended well between many people who were effected actually. The person who owns the blog that is being linked about him is scrambling to delete it since it was kept by her and a lot of others. To make sure it was out there that what had done, did happen. And that it wasn't over looked either; the fact Cent asked to keep that blog up. Should be important notion alone over who he is as a person. It was not to be brought up negatively again and used as a tool to populate someones obsession and anger over him. Since it seems to continue to happen by the same people staring a new issue every so often when he has people comfortably having fun with him. Which makes me upset because it seems that if a community is happy; unhappiness needs to happen.

        I do not like long posts--and honestly this didnt stay short. But I want say how upset I am this happens again. Considering I was one of the close to him when Cent Catfished; its really stupid to see people who had nothing to do with him at the time. Bring this up as if they were really the ones effected most directly from it? Further you are bringing up bad feelings that many people have already come to let sit on their chest and deal with ultimately.        To further delve into my own sense of okay this post is about me, even though this isnt. I need you all to know how Call Out Culture is ineffective and Bad. From my stand point with my experience I want to leave you with a short burst of information about myself and how we handle it along with DCF, a separate government branch, DDS, and her therapists.         My sister is severely mentally disabled. For the rest of our lives we will be taking care of her. She cannot wash herself. She thinks that Star Scream from Transformers is real and often comes to talk to her. I told her once she couldnt date a toaster as a joke, and she threw the toaster at me screaming about it. She really thinks star scream is attractive, and often details herself with obsessions with Aliens and outer space. She thinks God is evil-- because God made her this way. And cant understand why that is a sad thing to say. She just gets frustrated; frustrated is her essence of living. And acting out on it is how she is derived of.          To continue, she has pushed me down stairs. Abused me. Told me to die. Tried killing me several times. Has emotionally abused my little brother to the point we have a separate staff of people in and out of our house for him.           This is nearly every day for me; every day it is. Is kayla alright? did she do something? Did she hurt someone? did she hurt herself? no? Good good. Today was a good day.          How is this relevant toward this situation and pertaining toward things going on; the thing is rather then take my sister out of the house considering how constant this is. The government stresses on keeping her in the home and helping us all as a whole keep together. When a break is needed; and it can be afforded. She goes into Respite Program where she leaves for a week or so. She is actually going to one soon, and is very excited because they are going to go out a lot!            To reiterate the government keeps disabled individuals who may be a threat to the family within the home. With emergency issues and things that need happen--and yes when she says she wants to kill you she means it. As someone she has tried to I can say that much alright.           To make a point; People who are an issue you do not merely remove them and or kick them out. Indeed themes need be addressed and if their are serious manners of which Pedophila is being actually done then we and you. Need to contact police enforcement. They will take you seriously; it is a serious endeavor. You can involve Tumblr Staff as well, there are channels to pull with if there is something volatile that need be addressed. I implore you to. Yet often times it seems when posts are made, the latter is true.              To highlight the issues where, Cent condones or romanticizes these things that are being said. If you read these rules it is not the case. He states that he will participate in these things but does not want just anyone asking him. Nor does he want anyone shipping with the character as he doesnt understand why it is you would? It is weird to think that from these text alone you would take context otherwise-- Especially knowing before this post was presented. Cent talked about how on his Bel blog he doesnt want to make people feel like his Bel is pushing on them or making them uncomfortable. And that he would never participate in noncon. Or that on King Arthur; he does not do any of these themes what so ever. That these themes are only present on the villainous character he does not even participate in roleplaying anymore.              To round this over; it is getting upsetting seeing how this is effecting one another when the general idea is ‘ i just want to be happy and want people to talk/do things with.’ Rather then ‘ i want nothing to do with this person. ‘ So many people are stressed out and want to talk to cent. Reach out to Cent. But are constantly being told otherwise; its sad and im happy to know that people exist out there that know in actuality how dealing with problems work. Versus adhering the idea that you need kick someone out.                    I fear those people. Because i fear letting my sister do something around someone and someone not understanding and condoning her for it when they only have a minuscule of the story. Seeing as people cant even understand someone who makes sense how would you understand someone like my sister? Its cool you can say now ‘ oh But no we arent talking about that. ‘ Yet the only reason why you can feel this way is because you know the story behind my sister, many of you dont know anything about Cent save for interacting with him and that he makes you laugh.          So Im going to Tell you one thing about Cent that for me now that you know my story makes me happy to share.           Seeing that Cent came out from such a bad place, being such a bad person, doing such horrible things but choosing to do better made me believe in others again. It made me believe that even if my sister does all the things she does. There is always a spot and place for her to truly come about and make a better decision too. True, Cent is a more able bodied man and isnt disabled like my sister. But its just the fact that he does and he could and he can. That makes me believe anyone can.           It makes me feel like no matter who you were in the past; you can always chose to be better then that. And no matter how many times or who wants to believe who you are in the past dictates who you are in the future. Wont ever mean as much; That anyone despite the things they have done can always chose to be a better person then what they had been. And cent really does solidify that fact. As someone who knew him from the time as a cat fished. That got catfished by him. Literally back stabbed by him. Only to come down and talk again as friends.                   I feel like I get to say that not anyone else, and Im really glad to be able to say that lmao. He is my closet friend and will always remain to be.             I don’t mind if you feel you do not want to talk to me or think I romanticize his issues as someone who has gone through so much. So much and more, you would not begin to understand. I feel you are more then welcome to believe that but I know there are people who talk to him and know what he does and feels the same. And are comfortable with the rounded world they have created with friends.              And I really ( SHOUNEN VOICE ) I really just believe in people--people change. And Cent makes me realize that this is possible. And you cant just remove people out of your life thinking they wont. And because I know better and because I am an adult with my head well on my shoulders. I can make that decision, i understand if you cannot yet or are afraid or uncertain. I implore you to keep yourself safe just know that some of us feel chill. and we are all alright btw!! So dont feel like we are being attacked or manipulated by cent. 

But I insist you stop thinking that trying to get rid of someone is going to solve an issue. People continue living and breathing every day regardless of what you think or want to happen? No one is ignoring the issues or ignoring the fact that stuff happened if you are scared or uncertain as well about them feel free to add me and we can always group convo and you can let your feelings bare. Or anyone really? just be mindful and fair?

This isnt going to make Cent come back i really just feel like. I want these feelings to be known and that if you are ever called out personally I will gladly give you a chance of your own. I can only hope to god, that he would give that chance to my sister one day if something happened. And to anyone and everyone, as well as  teach other people that everyone deserves that much.

[collecting-stories]

The Stairwell - Ubbe Ragnarsson

Your wish is my command😊😉 (because from them all, Ubbe is the one who's most like a Disney Prince for me):YN is a foreign princess, and when Ubbe sees her its love at first sight.BUT, this time, he doesnt share her like Margerethe, and is super protective of her.I Just want to see romantic/adorable Ubbe being happy and having an epic romance.what do you think? 

The Stairwell - Ubbe Ragnarsson

The sounds of screaming alerted you before anything else. It was only when you heard the bells go off that you got to your feet and ran to the window of your bedchamber, looking down to see a man walking through the castle, axe in hand. There had been talk of men and women from across the sea raiding villages and castles but you did not think they would come further east.  

You watched the way he walked toward the wooden doors of the gate, imposing figure towering over the men and women who ran from him. His hair was not in a fashion you'd ever seen before, a long braid tied with leathers going down his back. He threw the doors open and what seemed like hundreds of men and women cut just like him came pouring into the castle walls.  

It took you no time to hide. You ran from the window and crawled across the floor to the tapestry that hung on your wall. Just beyond it was a stairwell that your handmaiden used to travel from your room to the kitchens. You crawled into the space and clamped your hands over your mouth hoping that no one would come looking for you. In the haste to hide you had left your jewelry in its wardrobe and thought maybe they would take the jewels and not think to look for anyone.  

The door to your room was broken down and you heard voices speaking a foreign language to each other as they ransacked. One walked toward the tapestry and you could see his shoes. When he took his axe to the artwork you let out a yelp and, in your surprise, tumbled down the stairwell. The stairs were narrow and winding and you grabbed for the rope that your handmaiden always used to steady herself. The force caused your arm to pull harshly and you laid there for a moment, still and aching. No one had followed you down but you were almost at the base of the stairwell and you heard footfalls again. This time coming up toward you. Just then you let go of the rope and let yourself fall again, crashing into someone who had been running up the stairs and causing him to fall backward as both of you landed in a heap at the base of the stairwell.  

It was the man from earlier, the one who had opened the gate. He didn't break eye contact with you, staring strangely at you as he laid there on the ground. It was only when he heard someone rounding a corner that he stood, dragging you up with him and blocking you from full view.

"Ubbe," the other stopped when he saw you standing behind his brother, "what's this?"  

"I'm taking her back with us." He replied, a shrug as if it was nothing to worry about. "I found her hiding in the stairs."

"She's lovely." The other reached out to touch you and Ubbe smacked his hand away.

"She is mine Hvitserk."

You looked between the two, unsure what to do. You understood none of what they said. You wanted to ask what had happened outside, were your parents still alive, what of your younger brother but you doubted that they would understand anything you said to them.  

"But you always share." Hvitserk didn't hide his pout as he looked over at you. It was purposeful but, looking at him pouting made him appear boyish and it made you smile. "See she likes me more," he switched to Saxon, "you like me more?"

"You speak Saxon?" You couldn't help that you sounded surprised.  

"That is enough." Ubbe pointed his axe at Hvitserk, "She is mine and you may not speak with her or touch her." He still spoke in his native tongue but it was abundantly clear what he was trying to say when he took a strand of leather and began binding your hands together.  

Hvitserk seemed only upset for a moment before pulling his own axe back out of its holster and disappearing down the hall. Ubbe was still holding onto your hands, adjusting the binds so they were not as tight as they had been in the beginning. You took this small act of kindness to mean he would not be lash out at you, certainly he could have killed you, or worse, had he wanted to.

"What is your name?" You used Saxon to ask though it was not your mother tongue.

"Ubbe." He replied curtly, not looking at you. You realized that the other man had called him that in the beginning.  

"Ubbe." You repeated his name back, the word sounding experimental as you tested it. Ubbe gave a sharp intake of breath at the sound of you repeating his name but said nothing. "What is his name?"

"Enough questions. He is unimportant." Ubbe replied, pulling your arm to make you start walking. He led you out of the castle and toward a gathering of men. It was raining again, as it had been the last three days, and you kept your head down to avoid water in your eyes. Also, you avoided looking at the damage your castle, and the people inside it, had suffered.  

Ubbe spoke again in his language and you noticed others who had been tied up, mostly women. You saw your handmaiden in the collection, she met you eyes and called to you in your mother language. She told you that your brother was safe before one of the men hit her in the face with the back of his axe. You turned away at the impact, keeping your eyes on Ubbe instead. He did not look at you, different than he had been in the stairwell. More of a leader and you would have been afraid had you not seen him be so kind earlier.  

The travel back to their hometown was long and the ocean made you sick. Ubbe kept you away from the others that they'd taken, claiming that he did not want you influenced by their talk. Hvitserk did not argue with his brother, knowing it was true that thralls were often harder to control when they first were brought home. Ubbe had not spoken to you since the stairwell though you sat just beside him the whole way and he talked often to others on the ship.  

Hvitserk seemed to have found a loop hole in his brother's directions because he had planted himself across the ship from you and every time you looked over he was watching you. Sometimes, when Ubbe was distracted, he would give you a small wave and you usually waved back. It was odd to think but he seemed nice enough, neither had made any attempt to hurt you in anyway and, while you realized they had been responsible for the leveling of your village, you had trouble connecting the two.

"This is Kattegat." Hvitserk had explained as you climbed off the boat after Ubbe.  

"Where?" You asked first in Gaelic and then Saxon when Hvitserk gave you a curious look. Your throat felt hoarse when you spoke. It had been weeks since you had.  

"Scandanavia." He supplied.  

"Hvitserk!" Ubbe snapped, having realized that his brother was talking to you again. "I have said already."

"It's not fair," Hvitserk replied, no longer speaking so that you could understand him. "You've always shared before."

Ubbe pushed against your back and pointed in the direction of a long building. You took that as meaning that he wanted you to walk and so you did, walking to the structure. This place looked far different from any you had seen before, they did not make houses like this in Ireland. You wandered what would happen if you disobeyed a command from Ubbe. In public you imagined he would be less kind. He seemed to be of great importance and you thought maybe he was royalty. He held himself as such. So you did not try to challenge his command, knowing what it would look like if a prisoner were to disrespect the royalty.  

You were led into a room that you assumed to be his and, once alone, he began to unbind your wrists, gently rubbing the skin as he did. He inspected the red marks, saying something in his language under his breath, it sounded almost like a lullaby. When he looked at you again his eyes had softened, it was not the same look he had given Hvitserk at the dock.

He took a seat at the edge of his bed. "You must be scared." He spoke in Saxon and you had to wonder if they thought you all spoke the same language in the east.  

"Not...scared." You knew you should have been scared but you could not bring your heart to beat the way it was supposed to. On the boat, even when you were sick, the knowledge that Ubbe was right there beside you eased any ill feelings in you though you knew not why. You hadn't felt scared since those men had broken into your room. The moment you had seen Ubbe, even before he had spoken, you were calmed. "You have made me feel very at ease."  

"What is your name?" Ubbe asked, realizing he had never bothered to find out who you were. He only knew that when he saw you there in the stairwell he wanted to ensure your safety. He couldn't explain why, only that he couldn't bear the thought of anyone else finding you and what they might do. So he had taken you back to keep. It was what he imagined his father felt when he had first seen Athelstan, the immediate need to protect the person despite knowing nothing of them.  

You gave your name and title, as you would to anyone who asked, as if the castle you grew up in was still standing and your kingdom was still strong. You watched the expression on Ubbe's face change from one of confusion to shock. He ran a hand over his face and let out a groan that reminded you more of a frustrated animal than a human.  

"You're a princess?" He questioned.

"Yes."

"Why did you not tell me?"

"Would you have left me there if you knew?" You asked. You didn't mean to sound upset. You should have been happy at the idea that he might've left you but honestly this was the most exciting thing you had ever done in your life and something about him made you want to stay here.

"Of course not, someone could've hurt you, those men are savages." Ubbe replied without hesitation.  

"Are you not one of them?"  

"I would not hurt you."

The weeks that followed in Kattegat were not what you expected, though it was hard to really know what to expect with Ubbe. You came to understand that you were considered a slave by the people but Ubbe never treated you as one. When you were alone with him in his room he treated you as an equal, as if you were still princess and that title had not been taken from you. Out in public he was not as kind though usually he just pretended to ignore you and was never outright harsh.  

The only time he had been different with you was during a dinner in the great hall. He kept you at his family's table, sitting beside him and separate from Hvitserk after his younger brother proved unable to listen to the request that he not touch you. Ubbe had left the table to speak to someone and you sat at the table, watching his back.  

You weren't entirely sure what it was that you felt for Ubbe but it was much stronger than comradery or friendship. You trusted him, you knew that much, and the more time you spent with him the closer you and he had become. Both emotionally and physically. Ubbe had never forced you into his bed, instead it was a natural occurrence, slowly you went from sleeping alone to sleeping cuddled beside him under furs, the gentle strumming of his fingers along your back lulling you to sleep.  

Tonight, as you waited for Ubbe to return to the table Hvitserk took the opportunity to sit beside you. He said nothing for a few minutes, just watching you as he drank.  

"Yes?" You finally asked, irritated with his stare.

"Ubbe and I used to have a thrall that we shared." Hvitserk stated. He wasn't going to cut around the brush about it.  

"Shared? As in..."  

"Sometimes she warmed my bed and sometimes she warmed Ubbe's." Hvitserk replied. He leaned in close to you so that his shoulder brushed yours. "I've been told I'm highly skilled."  

"I..." Just as you thought of something to say someone came up on the other side of you, taking a seat at the edge of the bench. You turned your face just enough to see an unfamiliar man sitting there, grinning at the sight of you. Hvitserk put his cup down, shaking his head.  

"She's my brother's." He stated clearly.  

"What Ubbe doesn't know won't hurt him." The man laughed.  

You wanted to tell him that when he had sat down it seemed to peak Ubbe's interest in you again because the prince was right back to his table, standing behind the man. When he suggested that you go with him and not tell Ubbe grabbed the back of his shirt collar and yanked him off the bench, throwing him to the ground. Taking a step back Ubbe stood over the man, menacing even from your spot at the table. This was the look he wore so many months ago, when he stalked through your castle and threw open the gates. A murderous look that you had been sparred. 

"What did you say?" Ubbe asked, even his tone was sinister.

"Nothing my prince." The man insisted, clearly worried, "I thought she was a thrall."

"What she is, is mine and not for you to touch or look at." He replied, "Go."

The man got up and hurried off into the crowd of people there to eat. Before you could say anything Ubbe grabbed your arm, murderous look still in his eyes, dragging you up from the table and through the crowd. He pushed through the doors and out into the cold night of Kattegat. You stumbled along behind him, not knowing where he was headed. As you got further away from the hall you tugged your arm, trying to get his attention.  

"Ubbe!"  

He stopped suddenly and when he turned to look at you he still had that same murderous look in his eyes. You tugged your arm against and it seemed to finally wake him, Ubbe let go of your wrist and rubbed a hand over his face in frustration. He wasn’t sure where he was planning on taking you; he felt like he had blacked out with anger over the idea of someone else even attempting to make a pass at you. He would deal with Hvitserk in the morning. His brother seemed determined to undermine him.  

"Are you alright?" You asked, reaching up to lay a hand on his cheek. Ubbe tilted his head into your hand, turning just enough to kiss your palm.  

"I'm sorry I don't know what came over me. I just..." Ubbe paused, he took your hand in his, squeezing gently, "I just couldn’t stand seeing someone with you."

"Hvitserk said you used to have a thrall you shared." You stated. Despite Ubbe telling you that he didn't consider you a thrall and that he wanted to free you, you were aware that any status you'd had before the vikings came to your castle was gone now. Once you were a princess but you were not that person anymore.

Ubbe tensed, his jaw locking as he took a deep breath, Hvitserk needed to mind his own business. Just because they had shared Margarethe did not mean he would share you. "We did but, that was different."  

"How so?" You asked. He had been reluctant to really say how he felt about you, as if he was worried you would not respond kindly. It was only late at night, when you and he lay under the furs, breathing heavy and exhausted, that he would say things about wanting to make you free or wishing you and he could be together differently. And you knew what he meant but you were afraid to hope that he meant it.  

"She was a thrall, it was-"

"Am I not also a thrall?"  

"You were not always." Ubbe is quick to defend.  

"No, I was a princess once...but you changed that." You replied honestly. "You destroyed my home but you also saved me from the fate that others in my castle suffered. But you won't tell me why. Why you saved me or why I'm different from the other girl Hvitserk mentioned?"

Ubbe took a step closer to you, holding your face in his hands. He leaned forward and kissed you and you responded instantly, kissing him back. Your hands fisted his fur cape, trying to pull him closer. He never showed you affection like this outside of his room and even then, he never felt this desperate in his actions. Even when he finally pulled away he stayed close to you, forehead nearly touching yours.  

"I love you, I've known since I saw you in the stairwell." He stated, "and I want to marry you."

"I love you too." You smiled, leaning forward enough to kiss him again. "And I want to marry you as well."

This just like, got away from me....

[hannahindie]

An Unexpected Epiphany

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Jody Mills, Donna Hanscum Word Count: 1,854 Warnings: It’s a Dean and Donna ship, so heads up if you aren’t about that life. I normally wouldn’t even think about that, but yesterday was Donut Day, and the scene where they’re both eating donuts gives me life, and even though this has nothing to do with donuts, I needed some Dean x Donna cuteness.

A/N: This isn’t beta’d so every mistake is mine and mine alone. I almost didn’t post it but @escabell‘s words made me want to so here we are. As usual, tags are at the bottom, let me know if you want to be added. I tried tagging a different way this time, as it appears my tags have been broken. (If your username is struck through, it means it wouldn’t tag for some reason)

Dean sat quietly at the end of the table, slowly chewing and taking in the scene in front of him.

He and Sam had been on the way home when they’d decided to make a quick detour and stop at Jody’s. Although Jody wasn’t much older than Dean, he had started to look at her like a mother figure; ever since they’d lost Bobby, it was something they’d been missing. Although no one could ever take Bobby’s spot, Jody was there when he and Sam both needed a kick in the ass, a home cooked meal, or just someone to talk to. Dean could tell Sam was excited to stop by, even if he didn��t say anything. They may have had their own place to call home, a place to stay safe, but Jody had become a part of their family.

So when Jody had called and asked where they were, and had told them that Claire and Alex were out for the night, Sam and Dean had jumped on the chance to spend some time with one of their favorite people. However, Dean had been surprised when the door opened and Donna greeted them enthusiastically, her smile bright and welcoming.

And so here they sat. Dean at the end of the table, Jody at the other, and Sam and Donna both sitting in the middle on either side. It wasn’t much different from other times that they had visited; Donna was often at Jody’s house, but the table was usually more full and Dean was always distracted. This time, however, it was quiet. Which meant that Dean’s attention had turned in a direction that he hadn’t given much thought to until now.

He watched as Donna laughed at something Sam said, her dimples flashing and the distinct little snort she made right before she began to laugh in earnest enough to make him smile to himself. He was used to her wearing her uniform, but tonight she was dressed almost like a hunter. Snug blue jeans that fit her curves nicely, a flannel button up open over a plain black t-shirt, the sleeves rolled up past her elbows. Her hair was down and it fell in golden waves almost to her elbows.

“Dean?” He shook his head and looked up to see Sam staring at him.

“What? What did you say?”

Sam laughed, “I asked if you could pass the potatoes. What’s going on with you?”

Dean shrugged it off as he passed the bowl to his brother, “Nothing, man. Just tired I guess.” Sam went back to talking to Jody, and Dean’s attention returned back to his plate as he pushed around what was left of his vegetables. What was wrong with him? He glanced back up in time to see Donna grab her plate and walk over to the counter in order to rinse it off. “Sure looks good walking away,” he thought to himself. Or at least he thought he had; Sam clearing his throat snapped Dean out of whatever place he’d just gone to, and Sam was staring at him with wide eyes.

“Dude...did you just...what was…?” Sam stuttered as discreetly as he could without Jody hearing him.

“Did I say that out loud?”

Sam rolled his eyes, “No, I read your mind. Yes, you said it out loud. What the hell?”

“Nothing, it was nothing. I told you, I’m tired. I was thinking of that waitress from the diner yesterday.”

“Yea, right,” Sam scoffed. “I’m sure that’s exactly what you were thinking about.”

Dean picked up his plate and his glass, then shrugged at Sam, “I don’t know what to tell you.” He walked over to the sink and started shoving what was left over on his plate in the trash.

“Hey, Deano, how was your dinner?” Dean looked over at Donna who was beginning to clean up the mess they had made cooking earlier. She had hastily pulled her hair back into a messy bun and fly away tendrils surrounded her face. Dean suddenly had the urge to tuck one of the strands behind her ear.

He took a deep breath, and hoped that she didn’t notice his awkward pause. “It was delicious. You guys really didn’t have to go to all that trouble, Sam and I could have just stopped somewhere.”

“Psht, of course we’re gonna feed ya! And dontcha try to pretend like ya weren’t excited for it, I saw how you two were puttin’ it away.” Her phone rang and she dried her hands off on her jeans before grabbing it, “Sorry, I’ll just be a minute. Hullo?” She quickly left the room and Dean sighed. He wasn’t sure what he had expected, but it would have been nice to have a moment with her without Sam hovering over his shoulder. He went back to the table and sat down, and tried his best to avoid Sam’s gaze as he talked to Jody about what was going on, and how the girls were doing.

About ten minutes after Donna had left, Jody looked around when she finally noticed her friend was gone. “Where’s Donna?”

“Um, I think she got a phone call earlier, she said she’d be right back,” Dean explained, ignoring the look Sam was giving him.

Jody sighed, “Oh, boy.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, “Why, what’s wrong?”

Jody leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms, “Doug has been calling her. She was handling it well at first, but I think she’s starting to think that maybe they have a chance of getting back together. I told her to forget about that douche, but all she could say was ‘What the h-e-double hockey sticks, Jody! You can’t call my ex that, gosh dang it.’ She’s lucky I didn’t say it to his face.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed, “Doug as in ‘You care more about milkshakes than you do me’ Doug?”

Jody nodded, “Yea. He’s just using her. I’m not sure what he wants, but he’s an ass. I was hoping when she moved here, got a little distance between them, it would help. There’s a nice guy at the station that’s been trying to talk to her and she just keeps putting him off. She won’t tell me why, either. She is oddly shut off, that one.” Jody grabbed her plate and then Sam’s, then walked over to the sink. Sam looked at Dean and raised an eyebrow.

Dean cleared his throat, “I think I’m going to head outside for a few minutes, get our stuff from the car. I’ll be back in a few.” As he left the kitchen, he quickly got into the fridge and took out a couple of beers, then disappeared through the front door. Jody looked over her shoulder at Sam and smiled.

Donna was sitting on the porch swing, her legs swinging back and forth gently as she stared out over the front yard. Dean could tell by the defeated slump of her shoulders that something was wrong.

“Hey.” Donna turned to look at him, tear tracks evident in the dim porch light, then turned away again. Dean walked around to the front of the swing and held out one of the beers, “Mind if I sit down?” She shrugged, but took his beer and scooted over so that he had more room to sit down. “Wanna talk about it?”

Donna sighed, “Not really, no.” They sat and sipped their beers in silence, and Dean couldn't help but notice how comfortable it was. It was nice not to have to keep an obviously forced conversation. “Ya know, I wish every man on this planet would just get stuffed.”

Dean looked at her in surprise, “Every man?”

She took a sip of beer as she glanced over at him, “Maybe not every man.” She began to pick at the label on the beer bottle, “I do wish all of ya would figure out what it is ya want before dragging all us women into it. For cryin’ out loud, I don't ask for much! Just...be honest. Maybe not too honest, because then ya got someone tellin’ ya that you're still too fat even though you're doin’ crossfit every other day, but still.”

Dean looked at her sharply, “Did that happen?”

She nodded slightly and took a shaky breath, “He isn't wrong, ya know. I like my donuts, and you'll hafta pry my beer from my cold dead hands. My self control isn't the greatest.” Dean took Donna’s beer and sat both his and hers on the end table next to the swing. Then, much to both his and Donna’s surprise, he took both her hands in his. She looked at him with wide eyes and he wondered if what he was doing was a mistake. It was too late now.

“If I remember correctly, we had a conversation about this during the first case we worked together, do you remember?” Donna nodded. “Good, and do you remember what I said?” She nodded again. “Doug is a dick that doesnt deserve you. Anyone who says anything like that doesn’t deserve you.”  

Donna looked down to where their hands laid on her lap. “It’s not just them that thinks that though, Dean. I know I gotta do better and I don’t. I put myself in these dang situations, it’s my fault.”

He let go of one of her hands and gently placed his knuckle under her chin so that he could get her eyes level with his. “Don’t ever say that again. None of us are perfect, but who you are is so important. You are a good woman, Donna. You’re smart and brave...and absolutely gorgeous.” Donna gasped quietly as Dean leaned in closer and closer as he spoke. He paused as his lips barely grazed hers, “Is this okay?”

“You betcha…” Dean smiled and closed the space between them. He shifted his hand to tangle in her hair and pulled her closer into him. She felt good against him, soft and compliant and warm. He noticed that she tasted faintly of beer and he gently nipped at her bottom lip before pulling back. She looked at him with awe, her cheeks flushed and her breath quick, and he ran his thumb along her jawline. “Holy moly…”

Dean laughed, “I’m guessing that means that was fine?”

“You bet it was. But...why did ya do that?”

“Because you deserved to have someone kiss you that actually cares about you. You’re an amazing woman. I know that my opinion doesn’t really count for a whole lot, but I’d count myself damn lucky to end up with someone like you. Someone will realize that one day, you know? Sometimes it just takes awhile for them to understand what they’re seeing.” He stood and held his hand out to her, and she took it as she followed him. She stopped him just as he reached the door.

“Dean?”

He looked over his shoulder at her, “Yea?”

She blushed again and her hand tightened in his, “You wouldn’t want to do that again, would ya?”

Dean grinned, “You betcha.”

Forever Tags: @trexrambling @pinknerdpanda @escabell @wheresthekillswitch @emilywritesaboutdean @emptywithout @arryn-nyxx @charliebradbury1104 @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @deanssweetheart23 @canadianjelly @super-not-naturall @aubreyreadsstuff @dean-winchesters-baby @melissaj616 @fandomismyspiritanimal @keepcalmandcarryondean @assbutt-still-in-hell @owllover123 @rosie-winchester @amionthetumbler @duubaduu @hiimaprofessionalfangirl @goldenolaf25 @authoressskr @nanie5 @mrssamfuckingwinchester @zincomms @kathaswings @crazynerdandproud @barbedwireandbubblegum @sandlee44 @boxywrites

Dean Only: @lavieenlex @valkyrieslament @akshi8278 @highonpastries

[stonemedusa]

for the ultimate ship meme: Obisaku

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

OBISAKU

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Well considering how far they’d go for those they care about- forever and ever, death isn't even splitting these two up

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - This’d be a slowburn for sure, they have a lot of issues to work through before anything could happen

How was their first kiss? - desperate, passionate, ‘dont-you-dare-leave-me-too’

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Obito

Who is the best man/men? - Kakashi, but Naruto wormed his way into being the unofficial best man...especially when Kakashi showed up as late as the bride.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Ino, annnnnd Naruto may or may not have henged to get a spot here too, much to Sakura’s amusement. 

Who did the most planning? - Sakura- but Obito was a close second

Who stressed the most? - Obito

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Sasuke No one was specifically uninvited but there were certain individuals whose invitation couldn’t be found after being made.

Sex:

Who is on top? - Obito more often than not, but they do like to switch it up.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Both do whenever they're in the mood or need a quick stress relief after work/missions.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - They’re ninja dude....all night or longer if they get into a playful mood.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Yep! though more often than not Obito likes to make sure Sakura gets off more than he does as he adores the little noises she makes and teh way her body shivers.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - One or two

How many children will they adopt? -Maybe another one, but it depends on what’s going on in their lives.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Sakura but she makes sure to get petty revenge by making Obito get up at all hours of the night when their child starts crying.

Who is the stricter parent? - Obito surprisingly, He only wants whats best for them and he worries okay? He doesnt want them taking stupid risks and hurting themselves.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Obito the mother hen.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Obito since Sakura is usually at work or sleeping around that time.

Who is the more loved parent? - They’re both loved dearly...(but uncle Naruto will always get the biggest grins when he comes around)

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings?- Sakura, and she takes no nonsense and the teachers always come out looking for ways to fix their own problems and better their learning environment so maybe next time she wont have as many things to point out...

Who cried the most at graduation? - Sakura, and Obito may or may not have cried over it at home afterwards.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Uncle Kakashi Sakura, since Obito’s pulling the whole ‘why would you do this??’ thing

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Sakura, Obito mostly just sticks to takeout if left to his own devices 

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Obito

Who does the grocery shopping? - Obito

How often do they bake desserts? - Sakura likes to bake in the spring, and you can almost always find people at their house during this time hoping for Obito to give them whatever he doesnt have room to store.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Both have very balanced diets due to their line of work.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Obito

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Sakura

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? -...Obito

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Obito since he likes clean spaces.

Who is really against chores? - Sakura, she thinks things should be done as they're needed and no sooner, though Obito argues that’s a habit she’s picked up from her mentors since her definition of ‘as needed��� means empty pantrys, a pile of old mission torn clothing that still needs mending and 12 different kinds of old leftovers forgotten in the back of the fridge. 

Who cleans up after the pets? - Sakura,if they get one.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Sakura

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Obito

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Sakura and she’d gloat playfully about if all day.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Sakura

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Obito

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Near every holiday since team Kakashi tends to pretty much live with them either way and why not make it a big deal?

What are their goals for the relationship? - Happiness and to be content with each other. Whatever else comes from that is just a plus.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Sakura after a late shift, Obito if he hasnt got anything better to do that morning.

Who plays the most pranks? - Sakura at first as a way to get him to open up, but then Obito got playful and one upped her after every other attempt.