#but sarah jane and jack and do you just pick us up and let us come and leave us when you get bored? is that it? is that it?

[tamaharu]

ten telling rose that jack was "busy rebuilding the earth" is sick and twisted ill give him a slight pass because he told her that while in the throes of a bad regeneration but you knowwww she asked to go find him immediately after the christmas invasion and ten just shot her this look of indescribable, unfamiliar empty darkness, then looked away and told her they cant. jacks too busy. hey, what do you think about new earth? new new earth! get a little past the great and bountiful human empire, see how it all turns out, safe and sound after they fixed it! and normally rose would try and get a real answer out of him, but she doesnt recognize that awful look on his face. she doesnt recognize the easy way he moves on. and it terrifies her. she just spent a whole adventure doubting him, and he terrifies her, and she needs to get over it. so she does. and so she doesnt ask about jack again.

[xawkward-ariesx]

Because it hurts

“They’re people?” “They were, until they had all their humanity taken away… All emotions removed.” “Why no emotions?” “Because it hurts.”

She thinks about that sometimes over the years. After everything. After the walls have sealed them universes apart. After she sees the Doctor one last time but only to say goodbye, to tell her that this is the end, that she can never come back. After everyone moves on and carves a space for themselves in this new world that had left a gap just for them.

She thinks about the Doctor stood before a cyberman’s head as he told her, “An old friend of mine. Well, enemy.” She thinks about the way he couldn’t distinguish between the two for a moment. She thinks about the way he’d spilt about old monsters and the world he’d burned to destroy them. She thinks about Sarah-Jane, an old friend he’d never been able to speak of. 

She thinks she understands some of that now. She wonders if he keeps silent about her the way he did Sarah-Jane. Thinks she’d understand that too. She thinks about Sarah-Jane telling her the Doctor had been called home by the Timelords, how she’d never seen him again. She thinks about the way the Doctor never talks about them; talks about the beautiful planet, the trees, the grass and the two suns it used to orbit.

She thinks about the Doctor screaming at the Nestene, trying to bargain with it even after it’s shown itself to be hostile. She thinks about the Doctor and how his pity for the Gelth had made him blind to their intents. She thinks about the way he wears his scars and if she’s one of them now, or if he keeps her hidden away with his memories of people. She wonders if he still lets his pain and his anger fuel his need to save another planet, another people. She wonders if it still burns a hole through his hand the way there’s a burning in the back of her mind.

She thinks she understands him in a way she never could before as she fights to prove him wrong. Words and numbers falling from her lips in a way that reminds her of Jack, remind her of him. Things come to her easier these days, things she’d never understood before when they’d gotten lost in techno babble back before. Before she’d gotten stuck. Before Jack had stayed behind to fix the Earth. Before they’d left him alone, despite their best intentions.

Things slot into place for her now in a way that she doesn’t understand how but comes from the golden, burning place in the back of her mind that she knows shouldn’t exist. Should be locked behind fortified doors. Shouldn’t still be glittering, but hollow and cold. Shouldn’t leak secrets of the universe into her ears. Should leave her clueless and frustrated, grasping at dead ends in a way that’s expected of a girl off a council estate that never finished her A levels. A girl that had followed a stranger to the stars and picked up a few more along the way because she hadn’t understood then; but she’d seen the same lonely shadow in him that she’d felt in herself.

But she understands things now that she shouldn’t. She understands dimensional travel. Understands the cracks in the walls and the scars in the void that never completely heal if you press just right. Understands the physics and theory better than anyone of her time period should, let alone her. Understands why monsters are easier to face than the ones you’ve lost. Understands why there had been locked doors on the TARDIS in the same way she can’t bring herself to decorate the blank room she’s found herself occupying. 

And she wonders if the fire ever burns out for the Doctor in the way the universe feels a little too heavy for her sometimes. She wonders if he sees her in the way she hears his words in her mouth. And the shadows she’d seen him seem heavier in her own eyes these days. She thinks about her mum’s words on that fateful day.

“You even look like him.” “How do you mean? I suppose I do, yeah.” “You've changed so much.” “For the better.”

She thinks about how it had filled her with pride at the time. She thinks about how she’d thought she was fitting into this new world that he’d shown her. How she’d become more than just another nineteen-year-old girl from the Estates. She thinks about how she doesn’t bother to fit into this world. How she doesn’t try to force this world to make space for her where there is none. She thinks about how that sentiment has become even more true in his absence. She does look like him. From the way she carries herself to the way she carries her scars and her secrets, lets them make her someone else.

She thinks about the worlds she’s seen dying as the stars blink out of existence across reality as she fights her way back to him. She thinks about the way she’s let every single one of them harden her when she couldn’t save everyone. She thinks about the nonchalant way the Doctor had spoken of the empty Earth before the sun had swallowed it whole. She thinks she understands how he’d focused on the survival of the species of the planet living amongst the stars instead of fixating on the planet he couldn’t save. She thinks about the lone survivor of a planet with its twin suns and the little blue box that remains its planet’s only reminders of its existence after the universe moved on.

She thinks about all the people they hadn’t been able to save. About how every single one of them had burned deep inside of her, fueling a resolution to do better next time. She thinks about how the first few fires had burned her before she learned how to put up the appropriate armour up. She thinks about the Doctor and his own armour. She wonders what taught him to put walls up between himself and the fires.

But mostly she thinks about the ways the years slip by her unnoticed, despite her mortality and the way she feels as though she’s never getting any closer to what feels just out of reach. And she wonders if it’s the same for him. She wonders if his immortality weighs on him the way her humanity weighs on her. She thinks she understands now the adamant way he’d spoken of humanity and how it hurts, the way there’d been no room for argument. The conviction in his words as a man burned too many times.

[kits-ships]

filling out the entirety of this ask game for Olive because i love having fun and getting silly

1. what are the basics of your self-insert? name, date of birth, height, etc.?

Name: Olive Madison Birthday: Sept 14, 1947 (Jumped 44yrs into the future) Height: 5’3 Current home: Maine Birthplace: Cincinnati, Ohio

2. when in canon does your self-insert come in? do you have a scene in mind for your entrance?

Between ‘The Ark in Space’ and ‘The Sonatran Experiment!’ The Doctor drops off Harry + Sarah Jane to do whatever they need to do and goes ‘ok I’ll pick you up in a day!!” 

But, when he’s by himself, the TARDIS dumps him in the middle of Ohio and he finds Olive injured after a protest. They go on a single adventure after the Doctor patches her up before she becomes a companion. <3

3. how do the other characters generally feel about your self-insert?

Olive is very sisterly/motherly towards other companions, so she’s generally well-liked by them. Some are confused as to why she married the Doctor, others feel the need to stand up for her when she can’t do it herself, and others are like, “How did you get the Doctor to even flirt with you? Hold on, let me get out a pen and paper-”

Some of the villains are intrigued by her, while others only see her as something they can use to manipulate the Doctor. The alien villains in particular see her as weak because she’s a human- including the Master- but he quickly regretted underestimating her after he tried to kidnap Olive and she bit the ever-loving shit out of him.

4. would you be considered a main character, side character, villain, or something else?

She would be a main character for the twelfth season but, after that, she’s a side character with a few appearances a few times each season. There are a few AUs where she might appear more often than that, though!

5. does your self-insert have any special powers or abilities?

No, not really! She majored in botany and minored in culinary arts, but that’s about as far as her ‘special abilities’ go. I’ve considered having the Master try to turn her into a Time Lord as well, but I like that she’s just a lil human :3

6. does your self-insert have any pets?

Olive had a long-haired, black cat when she was little. It grew up alongside her until she was sixteen!

When Olive graduated college, she adopted a kitten named Celeste a month or so before she met the Doctor. Celeste got to live in the TARDIS for a bit and even came to the future alongside Olive.

In a Doctor/Olive/Master polycule, the two Time Lords adopt two ragdoll kittens for Olive! I haven’t named them yet.

With Olive/Master, they come across two orphaned kittens that Olive bottle raises. The Master named them Artemis and Apollo.

7. would any other characters (besides your f/os) have a crush on your self-insert?

I don’t think too much about this, but Harry and Bill might have little puppy crushes on her that they never act on. River having a crush on her would be cute, too!! (Jack has a crush on everyone so he doesn’t count.)

8. what is your self-insert’s orientation?

Olive is bisexual and polyamorous!

9. who are your self-insert’s closest friends?

Excluding the Doctor/Master: Sarah Jane, Jamie, Donna, and Yaz.

10. how do the other characters feel about your self-insert and f/o’s relationship?

Copy and pasting from before: Some are confused as to why she married the Doctor, others feel the need to stand up for her when she can’t do it herself, and others are like, “How did you get the Doctor to even flirt with you? Hold on, let me get out a pen and paper-”

When she’s with the Master, they’re worried and confused. Did he hypnotize Olive? Is she safe? Should they try to help the Doctor win her back? Only Graham ever gets to see how happy she is with the Master after she showed up at her house one day.

With the Doctor/Olive/Master, they are so confused, but they do their best to trust Olive and the Doctor when they say that he’s changed for the better. Still, though, they’re a bit wary of it all.

11. what kind of outfit(s) does your self-insert wear?

Olive enjoys wearing sweaters, t-shirts, jean shorts, skirts, and short overalls! Her style focuses on being comfortable and being able to garden in outfits without ruining them entirely. She also likes to wear sandals but will put on a pair of boots if she really needs to.

12. how would the fandom view your character?

I like to think that they’d see her in a similar light to Rose and River! You either really like them or you pretend they don’t exist so you can focus on shipping Thoscei.

13. does your self-insert have any information about their family?

Olive does not get along with her parents. They took care of her physical needs when she was little, but were not affectionate or very empathetic. When she went off to college, they tried to get her to major in financial accounting so that she could follow in their footsteps, but Olive just moved out and cut ties with them. Her parents had even offered to pay for her classes if she switched majors, but she didn’t wanna!! She wanted to study plants and bake cakes, goddammit!

14. what hobbies does your self-insert have?

She likes to bake, garden, and dabbles in various forms of fiber arts! Olive also enjoys fostering animals.

15. how does your self-insert play a role in the plot of the story? do they help directly defeat the villain, support the heroes, etc.?

Olive is just there to help the Doctor and be cute.

16. freebie! name a fact about your self-insert that you want everyone to know.

I don’t always draw her as such, but Olive is a redhead! Her hair is a very dark copper color but she always assumed it was just brown. It was Donna who pointed it out to her and Olive was so confused. 

(I think an explanation for this would be books and audio dramas describing her as a brunette despite the fact that she’s a redhead.)

[bardicbeetle]

A Jagged Reflection - Doctor Who ficlet

Oh hello, I have feelings about the Master, as usual.

~*~

“I liked him.”

“Spare me the sob story.” The Master replies, “It’s no excuse.”

“He didn’t deserve that.”

“He didn’t exist. Just a fabrication to keep me safe and hidden.”

The Doctor sighs, steels themself for the argument they’re about to start, and continues. “That isn’t true and you know it. What happens when we do that— it’s not just a fabrication. Those people live and love and—”

“—and die, Doctor. Don’t act as though you have the moral high ground here, you’ve done the same thing.”

“How much of him was real?”

“Oh drop it.”

“Master, how much?”

“This isn’t worth discussing.”

“Koschei—”

“All of him!” The Master finally snaps “Is that what you want to hear? That the fragile human you got to drag around while you left me in a trinket is still here? That part of him lives on? Is there something very wrong with your brain or have you just forgotten who I was before Rassilon decided to make me a living tow rope?”

“I— no that isn’t—” The Doctor sputters for a moment and the Master just keeps going.

“There’s a reason I can’t stand you nowadays. Your obsession with having someone to manipulate is ridiculous. Dragging along anyone you can make starry-eyed just to drop them as soon as you realize they’re capable of independent thought. Do you think I haven’t seen how many people you’ve left the 21st century littered with? That I haven’t run into them time to time, heard the stories that all end the same?”

“I don’t—”

The Master laughs humorlessly, “Don’t try to lie to me. Don’t you dare. Clara Oswald? Running around in between heartbeats because you refused to let time pass as it should? Or what about Adelaide Brooke? Amelia and Rory Williams, stuck in the 1930s in New York because you’re too much of a coward to break your own pointless rules.”

“Stop—”

But he doesn’t. “I know you’ve found a way to rewire the metacrisis you made of Donna Noble, but she’s ‘happy’ at least. The indomitable Saint Martha could never live up to your standards. And sure, Bill Potts was a bit my fault, but that’s what happens when you don’t bother to actually check your navigation. Jack Harkness, abandoned for immortality out of his control.”

“Please—”

“Rose Tyler.” The Master says quietly, mouth curling like the name is sour. “Punishing both her and your own mistake for a genocide done twice over. If that’s all too recent should I check back a ways?”

“Koschei enough—”

“Sarah Jane Smith given hope again and again that you might keep contact this time. Peri Brown—timeline splintered into an unrecognizable mess. Arkytior herself, did you ever see your granddaughter after you decided to abandon her on the hell-hole you call a favorite planet?” He pauses a moment, and then adds: “You are insufferable. Egotistical. Self righteous. Nobody measures up to your own selfish brand of good for more than a single breath. You pick us up and you drop us the moment it becomes inconvenient to you, for whatever reason.”

Finally, the Doctor seems to have run out of the will to argue with him.

“You want to know if the man in the watch was real. You know he was real. But you can’t reconcile the things I’ve done with the person you ran away from Omega knows how many millennia ago now. The person you swore you would see everything with. The person who lost everything, again and again, because of their connection to you.”

“I—”

“—I don’t want your apologies. I want your suffering. I want your understanding. I want you to look at me and see me for what I have had to become. And I want you to stop lying to yourself and claiming you’re any better.”

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Marasmus

Marasmus only has a handful of fics left at Gossamer, but you can find more X-Files fics at AO3 (as finisterre). Some of my favorites of her stories I've recced here before, including one of the most clever fics you could read, Cellphone (here at AO3), and the lovely, London-set A Candle for Katherine (here at AO3, bonus commentary at LJ). Big thanks to Marasmus for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Mine, yes, older XF in general, no — some of that stuff is amazing. Though I wonder how well fandom operates now there is not a plethora of rec sites. I know of yours and one more Tumblr blog and that’s it.  I find it really difficult to find good stories in any fandom unless someone whose taste maps to mine recommends something.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

I look back on it fondly, but it was one of the first things that really hammered it home to me that every grouping throughout life follows the pattern of school.

A lot of people are really talented and funny and kind. Then there are absolute ego-rampaging nightmares who act like lady bountiful in public but do cruel things in private, or chuck their toys out of the pram at the least provocation.

And like school, fandom brings together a disparate group of people who you’re friendly with, but once you leave, the ones you stay in touch with are your friends.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Thank God.

I watched the show pre-widespread internet and mostly when I had almost no money. I didn’t have regular internet access until the third season, and that was only at my incredibly conservative workplace. I didn’t get home internet access until midway through season six. You couldn’t download episodes easily, you couldn’t stream, you just had to wait until it aired overseas. I decided I didn’t care if I was spoiled and that worked for me. In fact for some particularly annoying episodes, I was glad.

I was a newsgroup and mailing list sort of person. Never really did message boards unless a newsgroup counts, though I had a Haven account.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Mostly, how talented people are. I know some are now professional writers, but so many people who didn’t do it as anything but a hobby were also amazing.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I always liked science fiction, oddness and urban legends, so it was kind of made for me. But it was the relationship between Mulder and Scully that kept me around, and after season six, it was the fandom that kept me around. I loved Scully in particular, cos let’s be honest, Mulder can be kind of a twerp at times.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I hung out on alt.tv.xfiles.analysis (a newsgroup), which was one of the smartest boards I’ve ever been on. The threads were full of well-read, erudite people. That led to a site which collated reviews of XF episodes. They mentioned alt.tv.xfiles.creative, and I got there the summer after Gethsemane, which was pretty optimal timing.

I’d take floppy disks into conservative workplace and quietly download the most gloriously filthy fanfic onto them for reading at home on my ancient second-hand Mac.

After that I joined Scullyfic, a mailing list, which was a lovely place to hang out for a while, and got stories through a couple of other mailing lists.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Like my relationship to ice hockey: glad that activity exists and that some people enjoy it, but not watching and not involved myself.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Reading, yes, and writing the odd bit of feedback, but any other fandom involvement didn’t really take. I’ve never found a bunch of people I liked as well as I liked some of the people in XF.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

I am usually more interested in female characters than male ones (the Doctor, Mulder and Jack O’Neill notwithstanding), which is why I only read a bit of m/m slash. I usually develop a perverse dislike for any woobie the fandom loves.  

Some favourites are: Samantha Carter and Jack O’Neill, Granny Weatherwax, Furiosa, everyone from The Good Place, Donna Noble, Sarah Jane Smith, Martha Jones and Yasmin Khan, Maia from The Goblin Emperor, Cordelia Naismith and Miles Vorkosigan, General Leia Organa, Rey and Finn, and lately all of The Old Guard, even Booker...

I like nerds, pining, best friends discovering feelings for each other, second chances, redemption narratives, people being sneaky for good ends and stoics who stay stoic through all kinds of misery, only to crack and start crying when they get a happy ending.

Basically, you know Eleanor at the end of the Emma Thompson Sense and Sensibility? That.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

No. I had about four years there where I made up stories about Mulder and Scully on any commute where I’d forgotten a book, but that’s gone now. I watched two episodes of the revival, but it wasn’t for me.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I occasionally wander in and read a bit on AO3, but nothing that deals with anything past season seven. Not interested in William, not interested in domestic fiction, not even interested in post-col any more, which was 100% my crack during XF fandom days. I did read By the Dim and Flaring Lamps [Lilydale note: by @sunflowerseedsandscience] earlier this year. Love a bit of AU historical.

I read lots of different fandoms, though I am between intense enthusiasms at the moment, which always feels a bit odd.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Yes, but they’re all about 20 years old. Is there such a thing as fandom classics any more?  There used to be a litany of stories that ‘everyone should read’. I wonder how well they hold up now.

I think there are waves of writers who come into a fandom and then leave again: I think I was part of a second wave, with the first wave being Mustang Sally, RivkaT, Karen Rasch, Lydia Bower, Nascent etc.

Then there must’ve been a third wave for the revival (and mini-waves in between). I don’t know that group of writers, so I am probably leaving out people who are really good.

One of my favourite Scully voices is Five Years and One Night [Lilydale note: by Shalimar], because of the contrast between her inner monologue as written and how little she actually says.

I really like quieter, thoughtful authors like Michelle Kiefer, Cecily Sasserbaum, Scullysfan, Cofax, Anjou, Maria Nicole, Kipler.  Love everything Kel ever wrote.

At one point there were also about three authors called Rachel who were knockout. I like to think Rachel Howard is writing professionally because it’s a waste of talent if she’s not. Rachel Anton had a crazy gift for pacing and wrote a good Krycek.

I really liked Branwell’s strange AU novels, which riff off The Field Where I Died (a wretched episode but so much good writing came from it.) [Lilydale note: Condemned to Repeat It by Branwell is a really long story involving The Field Where I Died.]

Everyone who is reccing other people’s stuff here is also a good writer. (and their taste in recs is — mostly — excellent): http://www.thebasementoffice.com/museaxfnet/museans/TitlesAF.html

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I like The Flexible Concept of Tomorrow. I loved trying to work out the timelines. I like the one about airships and cross-dressing which only exists on my iPhone and in my imagination right now.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

Only an AU, if ever. I am completely at sea with canon.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

In my head. Mostly AUs. Everyone has daemons! It’s an airship! They’re exploring space! It’s mediaeval Slovenia!

Most of my creativity is sucked away by work. Which is good I suppose, as writing fanfic never paid my Netflix subscription.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Reading long-form journalism and non-fiction books.  

What's the story behind your pen name?

Well, I changed mine. The first one was picked out of a magazine article about Branwell Bronte, and I liked the shape of the word. Then I got to feel uncomfortable with it because it was a real illness that made people suffer. The current one comes from the shipping forecast when I was a kid.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

No, and also absolutely not. Over my dead body. Over YOUR dead body.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

I took my stories off Gossamer but I don’t remember why. They’re on AO3 now and there are probably stray copies on some archives out there.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

I have made all of these mistakes. All of ‘em.

— On no account offer unsolicited concrit. In fact, do not provide concrit EVEN IF THE PERSON ASKS FOR IT, unless you know them reasonably well and it’s in private.

— Avoid the wank. If you have the perfect riposte to something awful, write it and file it to drafts for two days. If you still want to send it after that, godspeed.

— Write anything you want, and when you start keep going. You can edit later.

— Never put any story into the public sphere unless you’ve had a second pair of eyes on it, preferably the eyes of someone who is willing to say “are you SURE about that?”

Finally, just have fun. Being in the grip of love of story is a wonderful thing, and you never know how long it will last.

(Posted by Lilydale on September 29, 2020)

[lostinfic]

Christmas Eve (stuck) in the Lab

Chapter 12/12 *complete*

Summary: Dr. John Smith and Rose Tyler both work at the Natural History Museum in London, he’s a scientist and she works in the gift shop. They are only friends, but the upcoming staff Christmas party promises developments they’ve both been longing for. However, John and Rose end up stuck with Martha, Donna and Jack in the laboratory, and shenanigans ensue: decontamination showers, cocktails in beakers, a game of truth-or-dare and a Secret Santa rigged by meddling friends.

Tags: mutual pining, friends to lovers, fluff with light angst, found family

Rating: Teen (for now)   |   Words:11556

@doctorroseprompts​

Ao3

The click of doors unlocking interrupted their celebration and made everyone run to the railing to watch the entrance below. Kate Stewart entered the laboratory. She wasn’t wearing a hazmat suit, which must mean….

“You’re safe,” she declared.

Palpable relief washed over the group.

Rose’s stomach untangled. She covered her mouth with her hand, laughing shakily. She had to call her mum.

She turned to John, he was all loud cheers and big grin. He grabbed Rose around the waist in a hug that lifted her off the floor.

When he put her back down, his hands lingered at her waist, and hers on his shoulders.

Kate joined them up in the gallery.

She gave some scientific information they all seemed to understand except Rose. She gathered the substance was not harmful to humans.

Kate handed them an information sheet. “Just in case, be on the lookout for symptoms on this list. Call the number at the bottom if you have any concerns.”

Jack was out the door before she’d even finished talking. Martha, Donna and John left in different directions, to call relatives or pick up their coats and keys.

Rose should have hurried outside too, but she dawdled, feeling oddly nostalgic. She shut down the monitor and covered the leftover food with plastic wrap.

She was aware of John’s spearhead left on the corner of the table, but couldn’t look at it.

She felt bad for disliking it. She appreciated its monetary value, if not its sentimental one. She wished he hadn’t just picked something off his shelf; her gift dealt with in an efficient manner, then dismissed. 

Donna carried Rose’s backpack from her office and up the stairs. She had something else in her hand, too.

“I thought you should know, this is what John was going to give you.”

Donna unrolled a poster with a beautiful map of the world in neon colours. She explained how he’d made it using UV light and special proteins.

It was perfect, bright and creative and just so special. Yet it only added to Rose’s frustration.

“I don’t know why he changed his mind. He really likes you, Rose.”

“But not enough to tell me himself.”

“Or so much it scares him.”

“Well, he knows where to find me if he needs help with that too.” She sighed, regretting her snark. She was tired. “I suppose it’s because of what happened to his parents.”

“What about them?”

He hadn’t confided in Donna, but he had in her. Maybe that meant something. And yet, Rose couldn’t help but remember once again how she’d fooled herself into believing Jimmy’s behaviour meant more than it did.

From the gallery, Rose could see across the lab, down into John’s office. He was still there, talking on the phone.

Her heart softened for him, as it always did.

Perhaps, for once, she should be the one going to him. In her determination to not misread any signals, she’d forgotten to send out her own.

---

As she approached the Doctor’s office, she overheard his conversation with the airline.

“Were you able to book another flight?” she asked after he’d hung up.

“Yes. Later tonight.” He hesitated. “The Mendoza team is counting on me. I can’t let them down.”

“Hey, you don’t need to explain yourself to me. I go out of my way to avoid the street where my dad was killed.”

He nodded and offered a sympathetic smile.

“It’s important work I’m doing every year. I’m helping out labs with less means to preserve their own history.”

“I believe you. I’ll see you in three weeks, then. Drop by the shop as soon as you can. I fully expect you to use those vouchers.”

“I don’t know,” he joked, “maybe if you sweeten the deal with your employee discount.”

“I think that could be arranged.”

“Good. Looking forward to it.”

“Me too.”

Rose shuffled her feet and wrung her hands. John rearranged random items on his messy desk.

“I think I need your help,” she stammered.

“Yes, of course! What do you need? What can I do?”

“I’m not quite sure how to get money out of this.” She held out the spearhead.

John sprang to action. He sent her links to trusted auction sites, wrote a description of the item for her and hunted down the original authenticity certificate.

She had to stop him when he got trapped, elbow-deep in a filing cabinet.

“It’s okay. It can wait.”

“But if you get the money now, you might be able to enroll in time for the winter semester.”

Rose narrowed her eyes at him.

“Did you listen to my conversation with Martha?”

“Er, well, I wasn’t listening so much as voices accidentally reached my ears.”

“Right.”

He sat on the edge of his desk, his long legs stretched in front of him and crossed at the ankle.

“I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to,” he added.

“S’alright. Explains a lot actually.”

“Listen, I know some professors and uni administrators and how to get financial aid.”

“You would help me?”

“Absolutely.”

“And if university isn’t what I want? I mean, I haven’t even got my A-levels.”

He shrugged. “You deserve all your dreams to come true, whatever they are. You’re brilliant, Rose.”

No one had ever said that to her. Not this earnestly.

A lump rose in her throat.

Before she’d found something to say, he offered to walk her home.

“I live in Peckham. That’d be quite a walk.”

“Don’t care.”

---

Fresh air welcomed them outside the Museum. It felt like they’d been trapped inside for years. Early dusk painted the sky a soft lavender, and fluffy snowflakes drifted down over them.

After a few steps, John took Rose’s gloved hand. She smiled and tightened her fingers over his. They laughed shyly for no other reason than the sheer pleasure of having their affection reciprocated.

In front of the Museum’s ice rink, John babbled on about bronze-age skates made from animal shins and references to skiing found in writings of the Han dynasty, in China. Joined hands swinging between them, they laughed more than the fun facts warranted. Their hearts felt as light as the snowflakes floating down from the sky. Simply put, they were utterly giddy. 

They strolled down a quiet street. Decorations twinkled in windows and relatives greeted each other at the door. 

John’s pace slowed down, his gaze turned inward and unfocused.

“I think I might call my former foster family,” he said at last, glancing at Rose for approval.

“Sounds like a great idea. You were close to them?”

He nodded. “The last ones I lived with, they really encouraged me to study. I even had a sister, of sort, Sarah Jane.” He smiled at the memory. “She was a Smith too. We used to pretend we were real siblings… I should’ve kept in touch.”

“Never too late for that.”

They passed by a tube station without stopping. Street lights switched on one after the other, as if only for them. They would have to part ways soon. It was a long ride to cousin Mo’s house, and he had a flight to catch.

At the gate of a quiet garden square, Rose stopped walking. They still held hands, and she fiddled with the cuff of his jacket.

“You remembered Jack’s dare, didn’t you?” she asked him.

“Uh, vaguely. Well, most of it. Where was he keeping that mistletoe?”

Rose waited a beat, but he didn’t say anything else.

“John, you know what you were saying about helping make my dreams come true?”

“Yeah?”

He stepped closer. Her breath quickened. She licked her lips, and his gaze flicked to her mouth.

“Well, maybe there’s a dream you, uh, you could…”

“What?” His face split into a grin. He clicked his jaw. He knew full well what she was trying to say.

“You could kiss me. Shut up.”

She looked away, but John’s hand on her cheek brought her eyes back to him. He opened his mouth, probably to say something smart-arse again. Instead, Rose grabbed his scarf and pulled him down to her. Cold nose tips met pink cheeks. He laughed against her lips. Their arms wrapped around each other, bringing their bodies together, as close as their winter coats allowed.

Rose forgot the cold and the passersby, she forgot it was Christmas Eve. Her hand in his hair knocked off his beanie. A tiny whimper came from the back of his throat, and she found herself with her back to the garden gate being thoroughly kissed. It was probably a good thing they were wearing so many layers.

When they broke the kiss, he rested his forehead on hers. The clouds on their breath mingled.

“Now I regret booking another flight,” John whispered.

“You’d better not forget me whilst you’re gone, mister.” She poked him in the chest playfully.

“Haven’t stopped thinking about you since the day we met— I doubt I will after that kiss.”

“Let’s give you plenty to think about, then.” 

She rose to her tiptoes and kissed him again. An unforgettable kiss.

[saiilorstars]

The Beginning of Everything

Ch. 26:  The Cosmic Butterfly

// Story Masterlist // 

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: 10th Doctor x Female OC

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

Chapter summary: The truth behind the Cosmic Butterfly comes to light and reveals that it's not the only creature created!

Since everyone was set to go find the Doctor, Rose thought it was high time she did the same. She closed the laptop and got up from her chair. She made a quick call to someone on her phone then turned to Donna and her family. "Right! I'm gonna find him."

"No, we're going to find them," Donna corrected her. "I'm coming with!"

"Donna…" Rose began to shake her head but Donna grabbed onto her arm.

"I'm coming with, blondie! Those are my friends out there too!"

"Donna, you can't go out there," Sylvia got up from the couch, along with Wilf.

"I have to, Mum!"

"You go, sweetheart," Wilf told Donna, just like before when she was leaving after the Sontarans. "You go and find them."

Donna smiled softly at her grandfather. She directed her eyes to Rose, leaving no room for further discussion on the matter. The two then disappeared in a flash of blue light.

~ 0 ~

Gabby whimpered when the TARDIS finally stopped. There would definitely be bruises around her body later on, if there even would be a 'later on'. With a groan, she used her elbows to sit up. "I'm getting really tired of landing like this."

Renata was the only one who had maintained her balance because she'd been the pilot this time. She sent an apologetic look at Gabby and the Doctor. "Sorry, I-I couldn't help myself. That was...that was Davros!"

"He's supposed to be dead…" the Doctor slowly pulled himself up to his feet, still shaken from seeing Davros again.

"I can't believe you actually tried saving him back in the war!?" Renata was still incredulous about the revelation. He actually went and tried saving Davros, of all people! She was naturally furious. "He should've died instead of everyone else! You shouldn't have ever tried to save him! That's stupid, even for you!"

The Doctor kept quiet on that bit. She had every right to be angry about that part but he was well aware that even now, seeing everything that had happened, he still didn't regret it.

Renata saw that clearly. She was not surprised. It was just so him. He was always the better one between them. "We're on Earth now, so let's just save it before Davros ruins it. Gabriella?"

"I'm up! I'm up!" the girl assured. "But please, someone, learn how to drive this box a little better!"

"C'mon!" Renata made the gesture for them to follow her, but the Doctor yanked her back by the sleeve of her blouse.

"What happened to 'check the environment'?" He threw her a look. She always reminded him of that, not that he listened to it but that was beside the point. 

"Well, we're on Earth--" she pulled her arm out of his hold, "--and the Daleks have already invaded so safety is pretty much nonexistent. Now c'mon! We've got to find the others."

The trio emerged from the blue box into a solitary street. Gabby felt chills the way the street was upturned. There were cars parked haphazardly on the road, some actually overturned. Scattered rubbish filled their immediate area, but the worst part of it was the silence.

"Absolute silence," Renata whispered. She folded her arms tightly, feeling an unwavering breeze. She hated silence...it was like death.

"Sarah Jane said that they were taking the people. But what for?" The Doctor wished he could just skip the whole 'trying to figure things out' and go straight for the solution because if this is what one street looked like, he didn't want to see what the city was like right now.

"Daleks taking humans?" Renata moved around him, her hands rising as she explained what she thought was so obvious. "It's to hurt them, to kill them. Daleks don't just meddle with humans for fun. They want to kill them."

"Yes but what for?" The Doctor turned to face her. "The Daleks don't just pull planets and submerge them into darkness!"

"They're Daleks!" She exclaimed in his face. "They don't need a reason. We just need to stop them."

Neither of them noticed Gabby's terrified expression due to their thoughts. It was all so normal to them…

The Doctor could concede on Renata's point. "Well, it would be a lot easier if we had everyone with us."

Renata had lifted her shoulders to shrug when she caught something over his shoulder. She shuddered in a breath so faintly that no one caught it. "I think you've overlooked one good thing that came out of this, Doctor," her voice was unexpectedly soft that for a moment, the Doctor wondered if her health was taking a plunge again.

"Yeah, and what would that be?"

An honest, albeit small, smile came to Renata's face. "You'd get the chance to see an old friend." She raised a shaky finger to point at someone behind him.

The Doctor didn't comprehend what she meant but when he turned around to see what she was pointing at, he forgot all about it. It was Rose. Rose Tyler. She stood at the end of the street wearing the biggest smile anyone could ever have. Rose.

Donna had a good sense to move away from Rose and settle her gaze on the Time Lady pulling herself to the TARDIS instead. Donna couldn't even begin to understand how Renata must be feeling. She didn't appear mad, or even jealous, just really sad…

Rose took off, leaving a strong trail of wind behind her. Donna's hair even flipped over her shoulders! But Rose didn't care - she had the Doctor just feet away from her. The Doctor took off in the same force.

"I don't understand who's that," Gabby inched closer to Renata. She noticed the expression on Renata's face and wondered why the Time Lady was so sad.

Renata was about to shake her head and simply go back into the TARDIS, hoping that maybe being on Earth would allow them to search better, when she spotted something rolling in the street adjacent to theirs. Her blood went cold.

"Exterminate!"

"NOOO!" Renata screamed when the Dalek fired and shot the Doctor.

Rose skidded to a forced stop when the blinding blue light passed in front of her. By the time she opened her eyes, the Doctor was already on the ground. She dropped to his side and cradled his head while he convulsed in pain.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Renata's voice, though still a scream, cracked in the end with her emotions. She ran towards the Dalek, ignoring Gabby's and Donna's collective yells for her to stop. Renata couldn't hear anything but a ringing in her ears and a rush of adrenaline under her skin.

Jack appeared only a few feet from Rose and the Doctor and, taking in the situation, he prepared to fire with his own huge gun...only to see Renata halfway there. "Renata, what are you doing!?"

"Exterminate!" went the Dalek again, shooting straight for the Time Lady.

Renata's face was ferocious and perhaps the new unlocked feeling was what brought out the energy that'd been swirling inside her, bubbling like a soup that wasn't quite ready. It exploded around into a radiating light - more powerful and blinding than the Dalek's laser - and blasted the Dalek into pieces.

"Ren!" Gabby called in terrible fear. When the golden energy died, it left Renata wobbly and in a few seconds she fell to her knees. Gabby ran for her, but Donna and Jack got to Renata first.

Renata's face was pale and her cheeks seemed a bit hollow. "I-I don't know...I don't know where that came from...I dooooon…" her words slurred together until she couldn't form a proper word anymore.

"C'mon, up you go!" Jack pulled her up to her feet but had to do most of the supporting. "Don't tell me you're going to regenerate too…"

"Regen...regenerate!" Renata sniffed in and looked both ways before finding the Doctor on the ground. "N-no! Get...get hiiii...him!" She tried pushing Jack away but her arms actually felt like noodles. She'd heard Gabby use the expression once on herself after being unable to play volleyball at a space beach they visited. Noodle arms, how Renata had laughed at that.

Now she fully understood.

"Don't die. Oh my God, please don't die," Rose was teary-eyed and didn't really know what else to do except hold the Doctor.

"We need to get him to the TARDIS!" Jack called. "Now!"

Donna knew where she could better put her efforts into. She rushed to help Rose pick the Doctor up to his feet. "C'mon, spaceman, we gotta go."

"Renée" the Doctor hadn't seen much but he knew that Renata had expelled a lot of the energy they'd been watching. It was exactly what he'd been afraid of, that one day she would do something her body wasn't ready for and would pay the price with her life.

The group got back into the TARDIS and while Gabby and Jack tried to bring Renata to the Captain's chair, Renata shook her head and clung to the console instead. Her legs were buckling though and she kept breathing in as if she was holding her breath.

"Renata, are you going to regenerate?" Jack had to be straightforwards and ask her so that she wasn't so close to the Doctor who would definitely be doing the thing.

"N-noooo…" Renata lost breath in that one word. She swallowed hard and took in another deep breath. "Jusssst….just too...lots of ener…" For now, her body was just growing tired.

"Lots of energy, got it," Jack backtracked from her cautiously, though pointed Gabby to keep an eye on her. "Doc! How we doing!?"

The Doctor's answer came in a groan. He was laying on the floor, convulsing and feeling more layers of pain. He knew what was coming, but he didn't want it. He really didn't want it.

"Got it. Rose, get back!"

Rose wouldn't budge. She shook her head - how could she leave him again?

"Rose!" Jack's voice hardened with urgency. "You know what happens next! We can't be near him! Donna?"

Donna looked between Jack and Renata, the latter already teary-eyed but stuck in her spot. She sighed and looked down at the Doctor. "You got this, spaceman. Good luck." She offered him her best, encouraging smile then scrambled up to her feet to join Renata and Gabby.

"ROSE!"

Rose sniffed and briefly glanced at the frantic Jack. "But he can't... not now, I came all this way…"

The Doctor turned halfway to the side and raised his hand. It was beginning to glow orange. "It's starting…" The orange light spread to his body in a few seconds.

"Doctor, I'm so...sor...sorry," Renata tried to get close to him by using the console as a support but nearly slipped on one occasion. Despite his pain, he still found a moment to shoot her a soft smile, as if telling her that things would be okay.

She couldn't return the favor. All she knew was that he was about to die and they had resolved nothing. And what was worst, she couldn't even be near him.

"Okay, Rose, dammit!" Jack had enough and went ahead to grab Rose himself and pry her away from the Doctor. "Here we go! Good luck, Doctor!"

"Ren, c'mon," Gabby gently pulled Renata farther from the Doctor as well. Donna came to their side and keep Renata steady.

The Doctor managed to pull himself up on his own but had to use the console as support for a moment. He wanted to say something, to look at his friends, look at…

"I'm sorry, it's too late. I'm regenerating," he felt the energy take him over, forcing his head backwards and his arms to his sides. His explosion of regeneration energy blinded the entire group.

Renata could hear the stream of energy but it all seemed to fade to be replaced by a fluttering noise, like wings. In her distraction she almost missed when the Doctor suddenly redirected his regenerative energy into the jar under the console where his severed hand was. And just like that, he stumbled out of the chaos with his same face.

"Now then…" he took in a deep breath and turned to the stunned group watching his every movement. "Where were we?" his grin wasn't enough to pull the group from their trance.

"H-how…?" Renata was the first one to speak, but in doing so she reminded the Doctor that while he had moved on she was still fighting for her life.

"Renée!" His fond nickname of hers just slipped through his lips. He rushed towards her, arms enveloping around her to keep her steady. "I told you not to use that energy!"

"How the...you jusssst….you…" Renata desperately tried to gesture the fact he'd completely cheated the regeneration system. "You break...every ruuuule known to...known to ma…"

"I get the jist, now please take a seat," the Doctor brought her to the Captain's chair and was mindful of her (still) wobbly legs.

Rose watched the gentle movements between the two and couldn't, for the life of her, figure out how this version of Renata could actually travel with the Doctor. Could she truly be that kind like Donna had promised? Well she did destroy a Dalek, the Dalek that nearly killed the Doctor. That did count for something.

"What was that energy?" Jack had to ask because it definitely had not looked like regeneration energy.

Renata blinked slowly, languidly, and turned her head at Jack. "Do you...do you hear a-a flut-fluterring? I hear fluttering…"

Gabby said nothing but her eyes had darted around the room when she thought she heard a faint snippet of that fluttering. That had to be wrong. 

"It's an illness and what Renata just did made it worse," the Doctor shook his head as he straightened up. "It's - well, I don't really know what type of energy it is but it's contaminating her the more she uses it. And she just blew the bloody top off a Dalek for my sake!"

"Yeah, but that Dalek nearly killed you," Rose said, speaking for the first time since their almost reunification outside. "Counts, doesn't it?"

He looked at her not with the same fondness from before, but a more earnest, unhesitating expression. "No."

She blinked in surprise. How could he say that? It was his life on the line!

"Renata could die because of this. I would rather die before she dies for me." His words continued to strike her with shock...and perhaps with a bit of a heartbreak. The way he said it, like he regarded Renata as someone important, maybe more important than a regular companion.

"How-how can we help her?" Jack quickly put himself upfront to do whatever was needed.

"You can start…" Renata began, trying to force herself to stand, "By acting…" her breathing was still short and heavy, "...like I'm stilllll...here. You--" she pointed a finger at the Doctor, "--just wasted...one whole regen...regeneration!"

The Doctor winced. "Yes, but...I have a good reason." Renata raised an eyebrow, asking what he could possibly think was a good enough reason to waste an entire life. "I…" he straightened his tie and grinned, "...quite like my face. Look at me, why would I to change?"

Renata's two hands shook as she rose them just a bit, her fingers curling to air-strangle him. "I...you...you wasted…" she took in another breath, "...whole life for...for…"

"It's best not to even bark up that tree, Ren," Donna couldn't help her smile of amusement. "He's too self-centered."

"Oi," the Doctor straightened himself. "Now you, Renée, sit down!"

"Your hand!" The Time Lady gestured at the severed hand now glowing and bubbling like crazy. "Whole life wasted!"

"But worth it," the Doctor continued to grin. "Lucky for me that my hand was here to send off all that excess energy to, huh?"

Renata's laugh was a small one, but she knew that there was no convincing him that he'd made a wrong choice. On some part, she was a bit jealous of him. He truly loved his life that much. He must be truly happy where he is. She couldn't remember ever living a previous life with that type of feeling.

"So...you're still you, then?" Rose's soft question turned the Doctor towards her. "You're not...you're not going to change?"

"Uh, no...hopefully not," the Doctor smiled at her. "I'm still me."

Rose's face broke into a smile. She hurried up to him for a big hug. He gladly accepted it and took just one brief moment to really process the fact she'd been able to come back.

"You can hug me if you want," Donna bobbed her head at Jack. Gabby's face was comical as she left to be by Renata instead. Jack just laughed, but Donna was in no joking mood. "No, really, you can hug me."

"Can I hug you?" Gabby asked Renata since that was the vibe of the room. Renata chuckled lightly. Gabby turned her head for a moment, eyes lingering on the severed hand. She watched it glow and bubble, the bubbles going big at one point and then so small in the next…

"Gabriella?" Renata noticed the girl had slipped off into a trance.

Gabby blinked away from the jar and seemed confused as she smiled. "Sorry...I thought I just heard…"

Renata watched the girl sort her thoughts with struggle. Rose overheard and when she pulled away from the Doctor, her concerned - yet fearful - expression was not missed by Renata.

"Never mind," Gabby smiled it away, waving her hands that it wasn't important.

Still, Rose didn't look so happy. Renata made her way to the blonde human, more steady now but still having to use the console for support. She ignored the Doctor's plead to get back in her seat.

"Is there...something you knoow...about this?" She asked Rose.

Rose flipped her head in Renata's direction, giving her a quick scan before shaking her head. "No."

Renata raised an eyebrow. "I know we...haven't met...but I'm not an idiot. What do you know?"

Rose kept her mouth shut but she now had the Doctor giving her more or less the same look as Renata. "I don't...why are you looking at me like that?" She frowned at him. All of sudden he was following the Time Lady?

"Because if you know something about Gabby, I'd really appreciate if you told us. I don't feel like losing anyone else."

"I don't know," huffed Rose. "I just met versions of her that...that don't end so nicely, okay? And it starts with fluttering noises." She laid eyes on Renata, almost accusing the woman of something terrible she was yet to do.

Renata knew when she was being accused - previous lifetime gifts - and sighed. "So maybe I'm going to die. That's what the Ood said."

"No, absolutely not!" The Doctor snapped. He wasn't going to let that happen no matter what creature predicted it.

Renata closed her eyes for a brief moment before sighing again. Truthfully, she was too tired right now to argue about it so she just kept going. "He also mentioned something about butterflies, apart from the contamination."

"The Cosmic Butterfly?" Rose asked in a whisper, eyes already glinting with fear.

Renata recognized the look all too well. "You knew about this?"

Rose didn't like much the tone the Doctor was using on her, as if she was at fault for whatever was happening to Renata. "In another world that I crossed! It's those cosmic butterflies!" She turned to the Doctor, almost as if Renata had ceased to exist in that moment. "If she's been contaminated then there's nothing to do. She'll become dangerous, Doctor. She could hurt you!" 

"Already done that without wings, I'm afraid," Renata whispered and turned away.

"No, Renée…" the Doctor tried going after her, an action that left Rose a bit shaken, when the TARDIS' power went were left in darkness.

"What's happened?" Gabby fearfully looked around the place.

"Ah, they've got us!" the Doctor turned to the console but saw little to do when everything was out. "Power's gone... some kind of chronon loop!"

The TARDIS gave another jolt, this time pushing everyone to one side.

"Where are they taking us!?" Donna shrieked after yet another tumultuous shake.

"There's a massive Dalek ship at the center of the planets. They're calling it the Crucible. Guess that's our destination," Jack explained. He shot Renata a concerned glance. The Crucible was not the place that would help her health at the moment.

"So these Daleks are at the center of the planets?" Gabby asked slowly to make sure she understood so far. She was choosing to ignore the constant stare from Rose who couldn't look more afraid of her too. It reminded her of the way River Song would look at her in the Library. What could she possibly do to either women - who both seemed more than capable of taking care of themselves - that could earn their fear? "And you said that these planets were like an engine," she turned to the Doctor. "But what for?"

The Doctor wished he had the answer but since Rose was now there, maybe she had it. "Rose! You've been in a parallel world, that world's running ahead of this universe - you've seen the future, what was it?"

Rose went grim. "It's the darkness."

"The stars were going out," Donna added and, realizing that none of them knew about her whole parallel world trip with Rose, she explained better. "I got a parallel universe created around me by some alien fortune teller at UNIT. Remember when you left me?" The Doctor winced at her sharpness and even more so at her glare. "Rose went to that world. It was terrible. You were dead and that caused this whole reaction chain. But I remember the stars were going out."

"One by one. We looked up at the sky and they were just dying," Rose said distantly. It was such a scary thing to watch in person, feeling that with each star that disappeared they were all one star closer to death. But then she gazed at the Doctor and the feeling went away, because she was there with him and he always knew how to save things. "So basically, we've been building this um... this travel machine, this... uh... Dimension Cannon, so I could... well, so I could…so I could come back! Anyway, suddenly, it started to work. And the dimensions started to collapse."

"And did you ever think that maybe it was the that device you built?" Renata didn't mean for her question to be an accusation. She thought it was a fairly logical thought if that was the real story.

Rose felt the accusation, though, and got defensive. "I didn't mean for that to happen!"

"Of course not," Renata's honest agreement made Rose pause for a moment. She studied the Time Lady for any clue of what game she was playing. "No human could know that. Parallel worlds are supposed to be sealed because of...well, what happened to our world, but you didn't know that. But let's think about it that way and see if we can build a solution from that, shall we?"

Rose's suspicion didn't fade completely, but she would go along if it meant putting a stop to the Daleks. "Right. Well, it wasn't just in our world - not just in yours either - but the whole of reality, even the Void was dead. Something is... destroying everything."

"In that parallel world...you said something about me," Donna said as the parts of that trip came back to her for a minute.

Rose nodded. "The Dimension Cannon could measure timelines, and it's... it's weird, Donna, but they all seem to converge on you."

Donna didn't know to laugh at that due to the situation. "But why me? I mean... what have I ever done? I'm a temp from Chiswick!"

The monitor came back to life with the location of where they were arriving at. The Doctor hurried over to see it first. "The Dalek Crucible. All aboard…"

Of course, they landed with a crash.

"Doctor! You will step forth or die!" they began to hear the Daleks on the other side.

The Doctor turned to face the doors, taking a few steps towards it. "We'll... we'll have to go out," he realized. "If we don't, they'll get in."

"You told me nothing could get through those doors!" Rose accused.

"He lies," Renata said just as Gabby was about to say the same as Rose. And like Rose, Gabby seemed like she was betrayed. "Sorry ladies... that's...how he operates when he wants to keep you safe and happy." As if agreeing with her, the Doctor looked over his shoulder at her with a smirk. She did know him very well and that was something neither of them could deny.

"You've got extrapolator shielding," Jack thought a second later.

The Doctor turned around completely to give them the news of how it was, even if it was pretty grim. "Last time we fought the Daleks, they were scavengers and hybrids and mad. But this is a fully fledged Dalek Empire... at the height of its power. Experts at fighting TARDISes, they can do anything." That was enough to solidify their situation. "Right now, that wooden door...is just wood."

Donna had listened to the first part but as the Doctor had gone off, a different noise started taking over her attention. It wasn't like a flutter, no matter what Gabby and Renata said, but more like a heartbeat. She just couldn't figure out where it was coming from.

"Okay, what about your Dimension Jump?" Jack asked Rose, not quite ready to give up completely.

"It needs another twenty minutes, and anyway, I'm not leaving."

The Doctor, following Jack's footsteps in believing in one last shot, asked the immortal man, "What about your teleport?"

"Went down with the power-loss."

"Okay," Renata rubbed circles against her temples. "So we don't have much of an option then. There's no way out so we might as well go out there and see what they want, right?"

"Right," the Doctor gave a firm nod of his head, though he might have been just as scared as anyone else right now. He'd never been this outmatched and the fact he had too many people be cared about with him made it all the more worse. Dying on his own was okay but dying with his friends - their much shorter lifespans - was not what he wanted to see. "All of us together... yeah."

"What are they going to do to us?" Gabby's question was a faint whisper. Renata saw the terrified girl and moved on over to give her a side hug. Her feet seemed to have reclaimed their balance and her cheeks were halfway to looking normal again. But once Gabby felt Renata's touch, she once again knew that the warmth was back and stronger than ever.

"Donna?" the Doctor called once he noticed the ginger had been staring into space. He presumed it was the crippling fear. Like Renata had done with Gabby, the Doctor went for Donna. Soon as he touched her, she snapped out of her trance. "I'm sorry, there's nothing else we can do."

"No, I know," she gave a quick nod.

"Ren, you're really warm again," Gabby said quietly but the others still overheard.

Renata tried playing it off with a small laugh. "I just expelled unknown, possibly toxic, energy. Minor side effect but I'm fine."

The Doctor watched her carefully, knowing she was lying. She did it so easily, so casually, that he wondered when was the last time she didn't have to hide something about herself? When was the last time she had the luxury to be who she was, to always say how she felt? He never thought about that. So far he'd been very focused on his anger for what she didn't tell him. He never stopped to think about the reasons she was accustomed to being so reclusive. The Assessor blackmailing her, threatening her, to choose their family. Her own family planting values that contradicted her hearts. She grew up that way. She never had a choice.

"I'm fine, Doctor, really," Renata presumed his long, silent stare was just concern.

"There's a fluttering noise…" Gabby trailed off beside her, eyes keen on finding out where the fluttering was coming from.

"Surrender, Doctor, and face your Dalek masters!" the Daleks commanded from the other side.

"Daleks," Rose had no idea how to feel about that so she just laughed nervously. "Ha!"

Jack sucked in a breath, mentally preparing himself for whatever was coming next. "Oh, God!" The one thing they could both agree on, however, was that somehow the Doctor would pull it off. He could save them and everyone.

Their unwavered confidence in the Doctor pulled a tiny smile from him. He gazed at everyone in the room. "It's been good, though, hasn't it? All of us... all of it... everything we did…" he specifically looked at Renata for the last part. It was surprising, considering their pending fallout, but he needed her to know that no matter what he never regretted meeting her again.

"It has," she agreed after a long minute of silence. Her only regret was her past choices, but never meeting him at all. "I'm just sorry that I wasn't the best I could be."

Rose's eyes flickered between the pair with a questionable look. There was a twist in her stomach, warning her that she was missing out on something big.

The Doctor took the lead towards the door, albeit a bit slower than usual. He carefully opened the door and slid out.

"Daleks reign supreme! All hail the Daleks!" the Supreme Dalek began the chant as soon as they spotted the Doctor.

Most of the group was out to see themselves at the center of an entire Dalek emporium, all of them collectively chanting their favorite phrase. "Daleks reign supreme! All hail the Daleks! Daleks reign supreme! All hail the Daleks!"

Renata felt like the air in her lungs had vanished. The last time she'd been surrounded by these many Daleks was the Time War, and that was too painful - too traumatizing - to bring back at a time like this. Her legs buckled again, making her bump into Jack's back. "S-sorry," she quickly said.

"What is going on with you, Ren? Apart from the obvious," Jack came to her aid and put one arm around her shoulders to help her walk. She was hot, literally. Her skin might as well be boiling.

The Doctor happened to look back and saw Renata struggling again. Plus, neither Gabby nor Donna had come out of the TARDIS yet. "Gabby? Donna?" he called to them. "It's no safer in there…"

Gabby was on her way out but she noticed Donna was staring at something, perhaps something no one else saw. "Donna? C'mon," she gently called to the woman.

Donna seemed to blink out of another trance. Like the fluttering, the heartbeats wouldn't stop. "Right…"

Gabby nodded and turned to leave, when the doors literally shut in her face. It actually hurt her nose a bit. Her brow furrowed in confusion and, frankly, a bit of anger. "HEY!" Donna rushed over to her side to bang on the door as well. They were not going to stay inside. If they were going to die then they wanted to do it with their friends.

"Doctor!" Donna roared with each bang she hit the door with.

The Doctor had already ran to the TARDIS to pry the doors open. Renata attempted to do the same but nearly fell from weakness if Jack hadn't tightened his hold around her.

"What's happened!?" Renata cried as she watched the Doctor pull the doors in vain. Gabby and Donna were collectively shouting to be freed, even accusing the Doctor of locking them away, but of course he hadn't done it.

"What did you do!?" the Doctor furiously turned to the Supreme Dalek.

"This is not of Dalek origin."

"Of course it's you!" Renata exclaimed. "Now open the doors!"

The Doctor didn't believe a word either. "Stop it! They're my friends. Now, open the door and let them out!"

"This is Time Lord treachery!" the Supreme declared, bringing the Doctor to a momentary pause.

"Me!?" he repeated, frankly incredulous. They didn't have an actual body but they had a stupid eye stalk to see. "The door just closed on its own!"

"Nevertheless: the TARDIS is a weapon and it will be destroyed." As soon as the Supreme Dalek declared it, a trapdoor opened up underneath the TARDIS and swallowed it whole.

Gabby and Donna both fell backwards on the floor with the harsh drop.

"NOOO!" Renata screamed just like before when the Doctor had been struck by a Dalek. She frantically pushed Jack away and tried running, only to fall with her wobbly legs. Golden energy sprang from her body, though, and hit the spot where the TARDIS had just been.

"Detain the Time Lady," the Supreme Dalek ordered.

"Stay back tin-boys," Jack aimed his gun at them. It might not do much but he wasn't going to let more people get taken.

"Now stop it!" the Doctor was enraged as he turned towards the nearing Daleks. He ran to Renata to help her stand but hissed when his hands touched her body. "You stay the hell away from her! And bring my friends back! Where are you taking them!?"

"The Crucible has a heart of Z-Neutrino Energy. The TARDIS will be deposited into the core."

Renata was lucid enough to understand the implication. She used the Doctor as a pillar to stand again and glared at the Supreme Dalek. "You've taken...the defeeeence...down!" She breathed hard but it would not stop her from attacking if she needed to. "You'll killll...them!"

~ 0 ~

Inside the TARDIS, Gabby and Donna cried for dear life. The fall - wherever they were heading - was picking up speed the longer they took. They each held to a rail and watched as the console lights spark and shoot fires as if they were cooking.

And maybe they were…

Gabby gripped her railing as hard as she could, bringing a white shade to her skin in the process, but if she was paying attention to her fingers she would see a light lavender glow. But she was too scared to do anything but scream and cry, and think about the fact she was going to die.

"The jar!" Donna was the first to see the jar with the Doctor's severed hand glowing like mad. It almost looked like it would finally tip over from all the shakes.

"Donna, don't!" Gabby reached for the ginger when she attempted to get to the console.

Donna had heard the heartbeat again and this time she was sure that it was coming from the console. She needed to know what it was. So, however way she could, she wobbled towards the console.

"Donna!" Gabby shrieked when one particular spark billowed a gray smoke over them. She let go of the rail and nearly fell over the other one. Her best bet was following Donna and be near the Captain's chair.

The two made it just before the TARDIS threw them flat on their stomachs.

Donna shook her head then raised it. Her eyes locked on the jar with a new sense of determination. It was calling to her, in heartbeats. She felt like she couldn't turn away anymore. It needed her.

"Am I crazy…" Gabby was squinting from the smoke, "...or do I hear fluttering -- Donna!" She'd caught Donna's arm just as the ginger had reached for the jar. As soon as Donna touched it, the regeneration energy in the jar wrapped around them until the entire jar shattered. 

~ 0 ~

The TARDIS appeared on a screen for the group to see. It was being submerged into an oozy energy.

"The females and the TARDIS will perish together! Observe," the Supreme Dalek said. "The last children of Gallifrey is powerless."

Renata was destroyed - more than that but she wouldn't be able to describe it if anyone asked her - when she saw the screen. It was too much like watching her family burn all over again. She gripped the Doctor's arm around her, perhaps squeezing it too tight but he didn't notice. He couldn't feel.

He felt utterly powerless as he watched his friends practically burn to death. "Please. I'm begging you, I'll do anything! Put me in their place! You can do anything to me, I don't care, just get them out of there!"

But the Daleks said nothing.

Renata frantically looked between the screen and the empty spot behind them. That was Gabriella - Gabby - dying in there, the girl who'd been so curious about the world that she took the greatest risk of her life by coming into the TARDIS. It was Gabby, the first girl - the first human - to ever make Renata feel fondness towards them. Martha had done wonders but even after her, Renata was always weary of humans...even poor Donna got a taste of it before meeting Gabby.

Gabby had helped change Renata so much and the Time Lady had only realized it up until now. The intoxicated energy inside her was a result of her trying to keep Gabby safe. Never in her life did Renata ever dream of putting herself in danger for a human. Each person she'd met so far had slowly changed her - no one more than the Doctor - but Gabby was a really close second.

And now she was gone. Dead.

"You are connected to the TARDIS. Now, feel it die," the Supreme Dalek said to the Doctor.

~ 0 ~

The regeneration energy exploded and managed to throw Gabby across the room, her back hitting the rails. The golden energy around her had faded as a strong purple glow took over instead. Donna, however, seemed more immune to the regeneration energy. It merely left her to spread to the severed hand now twitching...spreading more...and more...until it formed the shape of a man.

And then suddenly the Doctor sprang up from the floor.

Donna gawked with a mouth fully open. "It's you!"

"Oh yes!"

Her eyes happened to lower and made her realize he wasn't wearing any clothes. "And you're naked!"

It didn't faze him whatsoever. "Oh yes!"

~ 0 ~

"Total TARDIS destruction in ten rels!" one of the Daleks announced. "Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five!"

~ 0 ~

Gabby slowly blinked awake from her spot and saw the new Doctor trying to reach for something on the console. She ignored the question of how it was possible, but she knew it wasn't the Doctor they knew. "Hey - you get away from there!" She lurched towards him, with a hand forwards and accidentally fired a jet of purple butterflies.

It didn't reach the Doctor in time, for he had pressed a specific button on the console, but it did go over Donna who shrieked in horror and tried swatting them away. Gabby brought her hands to her chest, eyes widened and flickering from side to side.

Had she just done that?

~ 0 ~

"Four! Three! Two! One!" the Dalek said just as the TARDIS faded from the energy.

It struck the Doctor more than he would've thought. He felt empty and yet there was an overwhelming fury that began to spread through him.

"The TARDIS has been destroyed. Now, tell me, Doctor... what do you feel?" the Supreme Dalek asked him. "Anger? Sorrow? Despair?"

"Yeah," the Doctor answered through gritted teeth.

Renata sniffed as it truly dawned on her that Gabby and Donna were gone. She started to scream with the same fury the Doctor was keeping inside, only her fury seemed to bring something else outside. Once again, the golden energy burst from her to strike whatever was in front of her. Jack and Rose had to dive in opposite directions and the Doctor had to let go of her before he was burned. Renata's sobs were painful enough to hear, but it seemed like each time she expelled energy it physically pained her. The only difference now was that there were a few (half) formed golden butterflies in the midst of the energy blasts.

"The cosmic butterfly," Rose whispered in true horror. It was Renata. "She's here."

Jack had no idea what Rose meant but he did see more Daleks coming for them - for Renata - and decided to act. He grabbed his gun on the side and fired. "Get away!"

"Exterminate!" the Supreme Dalek directly shot Jack.

"No!" Rose watched Jack fall to the ground. She was yet to learn about his new immortal abilities - the ones she herself granted him. She rushed over to his side, hoping that they'd gotten just a bit lucky and that he would still be alive. "Jack! Oh, my God. Oh, no…"

The Doctor didn't know whether to go to Rose and keep her away from the leering Daleks or Renata who was still crying and bursting with energy. The Time Lady helplessly cried but the Doctor no longer knew if her tears were for Gabby and Donna or for herself being in physical pain.

"Detain the Time Lady in the Vault, along with the Doctor and their companion," the Supreme Dalek commanded.

Renata could see her surroundings from the corners of her eyes and it looked a lot like Daleks. She groaned and put her best effort to standing up without hurting the Doctor and Rose.

"You need to stop," the Doctor hurried to catch her before she fell forwards.

"I-I can't," she swallowed hard, clearly in pain. "It's-it's just coming ou…" Her body lurched forwards again, onto him in the process. He understood she couldn't control it and it scared him that this was her end as well. If the toxins were in too deep then regeneration wouldn't be possible.

He didn't want to lose her twice.

~ 0 ~

The new Doctor had found himself a blue suit to wear and was making mends to the TARDIS to the best of his ability under the circumstances. "All repaired! Lovely. Shh! No-one knows we're here! Gotta keep quiet. Silent running, like on submarines when they can't even drop a spanner. Don't drop a spanner. I like blue, what do you think?"

Donna was completely awed by the fact there was a literal copy of the Doctor in front of them, but Gabby was a bit more angry.

"You tell me how the hell I conjured butterflies!" She pointed at him as if he was the reason for her new ability, and in pointing at him...she released more purple butterflies that he had to swat away from his face.

"Watch where you point that thing!" he said with a scrunched face.

"How is this possible!?" Gabby stomped her foot. "How are you possible!?"

"Maybe it's what Time Lords do," Donna said after some careful thinking. "Like they lop a bit off and grow another one? You're like worms!"

"No, no, no, no, no, I'm unique!" the Doctor said, sounding incredibly offended. "Never been another like me! Because all that regeneration energy went into the hand - look at my hand, I love that hand…" he wiggled his fingers but that didn't bring any amusement from either woman. "But then you touched it -- WHAM!" he screamed so loud that both women jumped.

"Stop that!" Gabby exclaimed.

"It was an instantaneous biological metacrisis. I grew... out of you," he said to Donna, not appearing to like the reality of things. "Still, could be worse."

Gabby exchanged a look with Donna and without having to tell her to do it, Gabby raised her finger and pointed it at the Doctor. A series of purple butterflies slapped his face.

"Stop that!" He cried.

"Then watch it, spaceman!" Donna snapped. She wasn't going to let some carbon copy tell her off.

"Oi! Watch it, Earth-girl!" the Doctor ended up using the same tone, surprising himself and the others in the process. "Oh!" he was even doing the same gaping mouth expression as Donna. "I sound like you! I sound all... all sort of, rough!"

"Oi!" Donna said, not sure if that was an insult or just something Doctor-y.

"Oi!" went the Doctor in the same exact tone.

"Oi!"

"Oi!"

"Would you stop it!?" Gabby shouted at them both. "We need to get back to the Crucible and save the others!"

But as Gabby reminded them of the pending trouble, the Doctor had come to another realization. His hand was over his chest and there was a completely terrified expression on his face. "You are kidding me, no way. One heart...I've got one heart! This body... has got only one heart!"

That definitely got both Gabby and Donna to freeze. "What?" They even said together.

Donna wanted to verify for herself so she put her hand over his chest and felt the one heartbeat underneath. "You're human!"

"Oh, that's disgusting!" cried the man.

"Would you stop that!?" Gabby once more shouted at him. She was finding it hard to believe that this was truly another Doctor when he was being so incredibly rude towards their kind.

"I'm... part Time Lord, part human…" the Doctor scowled and looked at Donna. "Well, isn't that wizard?"

"I kept hearing that noise... that heartbeat," Donna said, beginning to feel like it was all his fault.

"Oh, that was me. My single heart," he said dismissively as he went back to the console. "'Cos I'm a- complicated event in time and space, must've rippled back. Converging on you."

"But why me?"

"Because you're special."

Donna got exasperated with the stupid answer. "Oh, I keep telling you: I'm not."

"Of course you are, Donna." Even Gabby was agreeing with him which just further irritated her.

"Oh…" the Doctor realized something after really studying Donna's shifting response, "You really don't believe that, do you? I can see, Donna... what you're thinking. All that attitude, all that lip, 'cos all this time... you think you're not worth it."

"Stop it," Donna spat and turned her head away from him and Gabby.

"Shouting at the world 'cos no-one's listening. Well... why should they?"

"Do you really think that about yourself, Donna?" Gabby softly asked. Donna wouldn't look at her but she didn't shake her head to deny it either. "Why? I think you're amazing."

"Oh," Donna scoffed. "Please. You're an artist -- you've got your whole life ahead of you and what have I done with mine? Waste it."

"You haven't wasted your life, Donna. It's been a bumpy ride but there's so much you can do."

"We were always heading for this," the Doctor mumbled in thought, getting both women to gaze at him. "You came to the TARDIS on your wedding day--"

"--I was kidnapped!" Donna said, for a moment sounding like Renata that she smiled for just one second.

"And you found me again," the Doctor went on, referring to the Adipose Industries event. "Even your grandad...and your car!" he was suddenly so excited. "Donna, your car! You parked your car right where the TARDIS was gonna land, that's not a coincidence at all! We've been blind! Something's been drawing us together for such a long time!"

"Stop spinning your crazy man," Gabby physically went ahead and stopped him from endlessly turning in his spot. "And explain yourself."

"You're talking like... destiny," Donna released a breath. "But there's no such thing... is there?"

"The Cosmic Butterfly is a well known destiny," the Doctor said and looked to Gabby who just blinked response.

"Come again?"

"Well it's what I know, what I heard," he said. "Cos see, the parallel worlds' walls have been crumbling for some time and a lot of these things echo into our world, bleed through it. And since I was a complicated event in the time lines, I heard things. You, Gabby, are the Cosmic Butterfly. You are another fixed point in time. You are…" he seemed to run out of breath just thinking about whatever the Cosmic Butterfly truly was, "You are something that...requires a lot of caution."

"Doctor, you're scaring me," Gabby took a few steps back and swallowed hard. "Rose said the same thing about a butterfly…but she thought it was Renata."

"No, it's you. You're the Cosmic Butterfly. Your finger!" He reached for her hand despite having to fight with her to take it. "Your hands! You're already beginning to express those powers! My regeneration energy kickstarted them! They've been dormant up until now. Sorry about that."

Gabby's head was spinning with thousands of questions but the main thing she wanted to know concerned Renata. For whatever that was happening to herself right now, she didn't feel weak like Renata was. The energy was just coming out of her like nothing. Clearly, it wasn't the same for Renata. "What about Ren? She's worse off than me."

"Because she's not like you," the Doctor said, visibly swallowing hard. Fear had etched across his face, his eyes widening slowly. "Word will travel about her. They have in other worlds. She's...something else, something more chaotic..."

"What do you mean?" Gabby felt her chest constrict. The prediction of death, that's all that came to mind.

"They called her...the Vortex Butterfly in the other worlds."

~ 0 ~

Down in the vault there were few noises, and the few were overpowered by the constant groans and cries of Renata. The Daleks had placed her, the Doctor and Rose in three separate 'prisons' in the Vault room - a spacious room - that looked more like spotlights. The Doctor was in-between Renata and Rose, but despite where they were and what was probably coming next, most of the Doctor's attention - if not all - was on his right.

Renata was sitting over her legs, her body leaning forwards as if she were throwing up, and couldn't stop groaning. Every part of her body ached. Because every few minutes her body would expel more golden energy that inflamed her entire prison - blinding anyone around her - and would then leave her in a more weakened state. And when she wasn't groaning, she cried, because of the pain...and because her friends were dead.

"Interesting child of Time," Davros' raspy voice honestly gave Rose the shivers. Perhaps it wasn't all that bad being trapped inside the prison if it meant keeping Davros from touching her. However, he seemed more focused on the Time Lady on their far right. "I assume this is the Cosmic Butterfly Dalek Caan mentioned."

The Doctor gritted his teeth so hard he actually felt the sting of pain through his jaw. "You leave her alone," he darkly warned.

"It is time we talked, Doctor, after so very long--"

"No, no, no, no, no. We're not doing the nostalgia tour. I want to know what's happening right here, right now, 'cos the Supreme Dalek said 'vault', yeah? As in, dungeon. Cellar. Prison. You're not in charge of the Daleks, are you? They've got you locked away down here in the basement, like, what, a servant? Slave? Court jester?"

"We have... an arrangement," Davros barely finished when Renata's loud, raspy laugh cut through the conversation.

She raised her head a bit, revealing her pale cheeks. "Forrrrgive mee…" she drew in a breath, "...for laughing….ha!" She groaned and clutched her stomach.

"You're the Dalek's pet!" the Doctor spat.

Davros turned his chair towards Rose, and in doing the blonde leaned back as if he would cross the prison. "So very full of fire, is he not? And to think, you crossed entire universes, striding parallel to parallel to find him again."

"Admirable," Renata once again cut in, surprising Rose (and perhaps the Doctor for a moment). Renata wished she could stand but she honestly couldn't even feel her legs anymore. "She's...been brave enough...to do what...some of us couldn't. He had toooo leave her...but sheee...she fought to come baaack…" She tried turning her head in Rose's direction in a way that would cause her the least throbbing. "Admirable. Brave."

For a moment, Rose's face softened at the woman. "I've met a lot of versions of you...but you're the only who's ever complimented me."

Renata smiled weakly. "Yeah, well...I'm not a nice person," she sniffed. "In fact...I'm a liar."

"Enough!" Davros snapped but Renata screamed and let the energy flame from her body.

"If I'm dying then I'm gonna say what I want!"

"Renata, save your energy," the Doctor turned to her desperately. "Please, no more talking, no more moving…"

"Ah, forget it Doctor," Renata swallowed hard and turned her body to face him and Rose instead of Davros. "For once...I want to be honest. And if this is really it...I want people to know that I-I did get better. I tried to."

"Don't-don't talk," the Doctor continued to plead but she had made her choice.

"Rose, you have to understand…" Renata shuddered a breath and placed a palm against the invisible barrier. She was going to try to stand. "I-I'm not, I've never been a good person but he--" she made a small nod towards the Doctor, "--he found something good in me. He tried helping me and I repaid him by breaking his hearts."

Rose didn't know why but she was clinging to Renata's every word. She could feel the woman's pain and regret, making her appear more human than any other version she'd met before.

"I-I made...all the wrong choices," Renata scrunched her face as she struggled to stand up.

"Renée, please," the Doctor whispered for her to stop but she just wouldn't.

"And when I-I realized that I...that I made the wrong choice, I didn't do anything about it. I let time pass me by, centuries, until I felt like I was just...floating through. But you, Rose, you were the opposite. Things pulled you apart...but you wouldn't take it - you did something about it. And now here you are. That...that is admirable. I respect you. I didn't before but...well, that's another thing the Doctor and everyone else on this planet has taught me."

Rose actually felt tears in her eyes. She didn't even know Renata enough to cry over something she said about her, but Rose couldn't help it. It was as if she could feel every last bit that Renata was harboring inside her hearts. "There were rumors about the Cosmic Butterfly that didn't make sense to me," Rose almost smiled at the irony. Some would say that the Cosmic Butterfly was a dangerous creature and yet others said it was known to be emphatic and even made it a two way street. Perhaps this is what Renata was doing unknowingly.

Renata was none the wiser. She had started something and she wanted to finish it before her body prevented her from. "You know what? Right now, I'm 756 years old and I realize that I don't think I've ever truly loved my lives. I've lived, almost had a child, but I was never really happy." She paused for a moment, head hanging low before concluding what she wanted to do. She'd managed to stand up but was leaning entirely against the prison's wall. She met the Doctor's gaze with a sad smile. "I confess that I, Renata, Reneé, might just want to die."

Now it was the Doctor's turn to get ready eyed. With their proper tools Renata couldn't follow the true customs of what a Time Lord did before dying. Her confession dial was non-existent and so she would do it verbally. She would confess the last of her secrets to him, to anyone who would listen.

"Please don't do it," his beg was frail but Renata just sniffed and smiled at him, assuring him things would be okay even when she had no idea if that was true.

"I confess that I made the wrong choice centuries ago because I was scared, because I was a coward. I confess that I never truly moved on. And I confess that meeting you again scared me to the bone because I was afraid of falling again. I was afraid of hurting you again. And I did it. And I am so sorry. I confess that I do love you, that I have never stopped, and that is not a regret."

The Doctor wished he could get to her in that moment and hold her. He didn't even think about their argument, much less his anger. She truly felt like she was dying and what was worse is that she wanted to die. She didn't want to live anymore. Her life was so unbearable that she would rather it end. He pounded a fist against the wall keeping him away from her, frustrated that he couldn't do any of the things he wanted.

Renata turned her head at Davros who'd been nothing but silent for the past minutes. Her expression had gone dark, a new emotion she had yet to display. "And I confess that if I'm truly dying, I am going to take down every last Dalek on this ship. You wanted a child of Time? You got the worst one." The flames of energy danced over her body until, once again, it was released and covered her prison from top to bottom.

"Interesting energy," Davros had to confess himself. "The same energy that Dalek Caan spoke of." He pressed a button on the control panel of his chair and revealed Dalek Caan himself planted on a platform in the room.

"She is the Vortex Butterfly," Dalek Caan said in a sing-song manner. Confusion spread across the Doctor's face but a more fearsome feeling took over Rose. She spared Renata a brief glance with widened eyes.

"That's not - that's…" the Doctor did the same and stared down at Renata. She'd crumpled to the floor again, groaning as new flames of energy prepared to burst. "That's the...vortex!" the Doctor almost smacked himself for being so blind. "Of course!"

"What is he talking about?" Rose asked him, eyes flickering from Renata to Dalek Caan.

"The golden energy is the Time Vortex but I couldn't know that because the toxins have mutated it with the Osiran energy. I completely forgot that the Osiran energy's main function is to heal and that's a huge contradiction to the levels of the Vortex inside Renata, not to mention the Block Transfer energy from Zhe's gallery. It's growing volatile the more it combines." 

Rose hated to admit that in times like these, she still could find a moment to appreciate his rambling of light speed.

Renata began to cry again but the burst of energy overshadowed her voice. The Doctor turned to the woman, trying to keep his eyes on her despite the blinding light from her energy. "The Time Vortex, the Block Transfer energy, the Osiran energy...they've created something new. The Vortex Butterfly. The butterflies, Renée."

"The butterflies of death," Dalek Caan giggled, causing a deepened scowl to mark the Doctor's face.

"Shut up!" He snapped.

When the cortex energy dissipated once more, Renata slightly turned her head at him. Her eyes were red and teary from fatigue. She noticed the way Rose was now staring at her. "You-you about this, don't you?"

Seeing who she was talking to, the Doctor quickly turned to Rose, desperate for any information that could help Renata. "Rose? Please?"

Rose didn't want to say anything particularly bad considering Renata had just poured her hearts and feelings out to her just minutes before. It would be wrong but... keeping quiet would also be wrong. "I thought you were the Cosmic Butterfly. The Vortex Butterfly is a far more dangerous creature when it wants to be. I've met many versions of you and...and some of them were like Gabby. These big butterfly creatures...like hybrids."

For a minute, Renata panicked at the idea that perhaps death wasn't coming for her. A space mutation was creeping over instead. "So...so what's going to happen to me?"

"So cold and dark. Fire is coming... the endless flames…" Dalek Caan answered and this time it was Rose who shot it a glare.

"Shut up! I don't understand how you know all that, but--"

"Dalek Caan flew into the Time War, unprotected," Davros explained to her. "He saw Time. Its infinite complexity and majesty raging through his mind."

"And I saw everything," Dalek Caan agreed from the platform. "The Vortex Butterfly draws from the Time Vortex itself and can kill anything in its path. The Cosmic Butterfly can follow in the same path. I saw them and I saw all three of you here, and I know that the Doctor will be here, as witness, at the end of everything. The Doctor and his precious Children of Time! And one of them will die...!"

The Doctor could barely contain his rage, but in the end what was the point of containing it? "Was it you!? kill Donna and Gabby? Why did the TARDIS door close? Tell me!"

Davros was delighted by the sight. "Oh that's it! The end, the fire, the rage of a Time Lord who butchered millions. There he is. Why so shy? Show your companions... show them your true self." The Doctor did not look anywhere but the floor, uneasy. "Dalek Caan has promised me that, too.

"I have seen it. At the time of ending, the Doctor's soul will be revealed," Dalek Caan confirmed, but the Doctor wasn't having it from a ridiculous Dalek that couldn't even move anymore.

"What does that mean?"

"We will discover it together... our final journey," Davros promised. "Because the ending approaches. The testing begins."

"Testing of what?" the Doctor called when Davros turned away from them.

"The Reality Bomb." He brought up a screen for them to see exactly what he was talking about. "Behold... the apotheosis of my genius."

Down in a chamber were dozens of humans crowded into one spot like a herd. The Doctor dreaded what they were planning on doing with the innocent humans, but all he could do was watch.

~0~

"Now you tell me what this whole butterfly thing is all about!" Gabby was rounding on the new Doctor while he madly went around the console, trying to figure out what the Daleks were up to. "Or so help me-" but before she could finish her threat, the TARDIS shuddered and rocked the trio inside.

"It's the planets. The twenty-seven planets!" the Doctor realized once he caught sight of the monitor.

~0~

Renata had raised her head the necessary amount to see what was on the screen. Each stolen planet were bathed in a white glow.

"But that's Z-Neutrino Energy," the Doctor realized first. "Flattened by the alignment of the planets into a single stream - no!" he shouted once he figured out the plan. There were too many lives at stake and they had no care about it. "Davros. Davros, you can't! You can't! NO!"

The planets glowed stronger but inside the chamber the humans were beginning to dissolve into atoms. And just like that, the glows around the planet disappeared, but so had the humans entirely.

~0~

"What...what just happened?" Rose swallowed hard. She could see the Doctor's blind panic - almost feel it herself - and the satisfaction on Davros crusty face meant true horror.

"Electrical energy, Miss Tyler," Davros answered. "Every atom in existence is bound by an electrical field. The Reality Bomb cancels it out - structure falls apart. That test was focused on the prisoners alone. Full transmission will dissolve every form of matter."

"The stars are going out…" Rose quietly realized. It was what was killing the stars, but how could they do it in every world? She turned her head in Renata's direction, tears coming to her eyes. "It was me. You-you were right." Renata met the girl's gaze and, despite bearing no accusation, she confirmed it with silence. Rose felt like her lungs had run out of air once the load truly fell on her. She hadn't created any Reality Bomb, bit her traveling through parallel worlds had cracked the already weakened walls of the world's from the Battle of Canary Wharf. Each time she crossed to a different world, she gave the Daleks access to a new world of experiments. It was HER her fault.

"You couldn't have known," Renata exhaled as if she'd been holding her breath that whole time. "And besides, THEY they-" she narrowed her eyes at Davros, "-are the ones who created this. They stole 27 planets, turning them into one vast transmitter. And they blasted that wavelength…"

"Across the entire universe," Davros finished for her, eager to actually, as if he wanted everyone to know their amazing project. "Never stopping. Never faltering. Never fading. People and planets and stars will become dust. And the dust will become atoms and the atoms will become... nothing. And the wavelength will continue, breaking through the Rift at the heart of the Medusa Cascade into every dimension, every parallel, every single corner of creation. This is my ultimate victory, Doctor! The destruction of reality itself!"

[lyricwritesprose]

My New Who Fic Masterpost For Those Stuck At Home

More fic to take peoples minds off things.  After all, the only things I can do at this point are (a) wash my hands, and (b) entertain.  Please consider reblogging rather than just liking, so that more people will see the post.  And please feel free to comment on AO3 no matter how old the fic is.  Comments feed my ego let me know how a fic works, and they’re also tremendously encouraging.  If you want to know which ones I think are best, I’d pick “Dragons of the Mind,” “Practical Mythology,” and the duology of “They Say” and “Invisible Road.”  But I’m not great at judging my own stuff, so.

Doctorless Doctor Who Stories I think these fit into New Who because they feature some New Who species.  However, they don’t feature the Doctor, and the companion they include is a classic companion.

“They Say” A slave tells a disobedient prince about a planet that eats armies.  Somewhat experimental narration. “Invisible Road” The prince makes his way to the Dark World to save his sibling.  Somewhat experimental narration.

Ninth Doctor Stories

“Homefall” After the Doctor burns Gallifrey, the TARDIS looks for someone who can persuade him to stay alive.  Jossed by later events.  Angsty. “Sense Memory” Rose should try to sleep off the drug.  She doesn’t want to.  Emotional hurt-comfort, mental violence warning for attempted brainwashing. “And Anon Stands For Memory” Outsider POV fic that I wrote when I was still somewhat finding my feet in fic writing.  Basically, the Doctor meets an OC from a world he saved way back in the classic series. “Practical Mythology” Jack’s first night on the TARDIS, and the next morning.  Action/adventure fic with some angst and one of the huge reveal moments that I really love.  Borders on Outsider POV because Jack is new to the team.  Easily one of my most popular Who-fics. “Things of Great Worth” Lighter and fluffier sequel to “Practical Mythology.”  Team TARDIS attends a festival. “Of Strangers and Second Chances” After "Boom Town," Team TARDIS needs to find a place that will welcome an egg with no Family.  Outsider POV.

Tenth Doctor Stories

“Inspiration” Martha and the Doctor try to help with a plague, and Martha discovers something about the Doctor’s past.  Crossover with classic Who. “To Catch Us When We Fall” When traveling with Alonso, Jack gets into an unsurvivable predicament—which is a problem, because Jack will survive it anyway.  It’s a virtually impossible rescue, but Alonso isn’t as alone as he thinks.

Eleventh Doctor stories, Twelfth Doctor stories and others under the cut (there are a lot of them).

Eleventh Doctor Stories

“Dragons of the Mind” Crossover between new Who and classic Who.  In a dark, menacing landscape, Ace McShane tries to work out how she’s being played, and by whom.  Adventure, mental manipulation warning.  One of my more popular Eleventh Doctor stories, and also probably the longest. “Little Details” Rory’s first morning on the TARDIS.  Fluff. “Boxing Day” Wilfred Mott meets Eleven.  He isn’t happy about it.  Angst with a happy ending, containing many thoughts about regeneration. “Just Because” Rory doesn’t feel like he measures up.  The Doctor decides to do something nice for him.  Fluff. “Interleaving” A look at exactly what was up with Amy’s Aunt Sharon, somewhat more sympathetic than most fandom interpretations.  Effectively Outsider POV. “Faces” A look at regeneration, set soon after the ending of “The Big Bang.”  Jossed by later events. “Night Terrors” After the events of “The Doctor’s Wife,” Rory is having nightmares.  He talks to the Doctor about it.  Angst with a happy/hopeful ending. “Edge of Human” After the events of “Let’s Kill Hitler,” the Doctor visits River.  Doctor/River. “Sweet Sixteenth or Close Enough” Mels has a good time.  Rory experiences the joys of time-scrambled fatherhood.  Fluff.  Short-term Mels/Jeff. “First Time Flying” There’s a first time for everything, including leaping off very tall structures.  River-centric. “Goodbye” The Doctor visits a dying friend.  (Canonical) major character death, tissue warning. “Definitions of Victory” River has issues with losing.  The Doctor has his own doubts about winning.  But he also has a lot of experience in changing the game.  Doctor/River. “Cheek” River is one of the few people to learn Gallifreyan without being born there.  Linguistic musing disguised as a fic, with a joke at the end.  Offscreen Doctor/River. “In the Winter Woods” Team TARDIS plays around in the snow.  Christmas-y fluff. “Christmas Punch” After the events of “The Doctor, the Widow, and the Wardrobe,” Rory has something important to say to the Doctor. “Freedom and Lies” The Doctor says incredibly disturbing things when he feels like he has to.  An attempt to make an out-of-character idea in character.  Warning for lots of sexual violence in the background of an original character. “Torpor” Vastra and Jenny and huddling for warmth, which isn’t quite as sexy when you have to do it to revive a reptile. “Disaster, Pizza (Comma Optional)” A cracky little crossover with the original Teen Titans show, centered around the fact that both feature aliens with weird taste buds. “A Problem of Background” The eleventh Doctor needs Martha Jones’s advice about a new companion.  Warning: the OC’s background is messed up.  Please mind the warnings.  This is one of the more serious pieces I’ve ever done for Doctor Who. “Always a Bit Left Over” The popcorn button on the TARDIS microwave causes all corn within a two mile radius to violently explode.  Inspired by a tumblr post.

Twelfth Doctor Stories

“Someone Else’s Promised Land” The Doctor promised he would do something amazing in honor of Gretchen Allison Carlyle. “Strange Creatures” Martha and Mickey are looking for an alien hiding at a university.  They find one.  Actually, they find more than one. “Flashpoint” History on the planet Enuan has gone wrong, and it's up to Bill and the Doctor to put it right.  But they're not the only time travelers here.  Crossover with classic Who.

Original Doctor Stories These came about when I was experimenting with the idea of a female Doctor, before Jodie Whittaker was cast. “Polarity Reversal” Unfinished and abandoned vignette that was more a writing experiment than anything else.  Features the same introduction story, once for a male Doctor, once for a female one. “The Lies of Garden” Unfinished and abandoned multi-chapter that began as a sixth Doctor fic and then suffered through me changing all the pronouns to see how it played out.  I think I taught myself some interesting things, and I like the story, but if I ever finish it it’ll probably be by making it into an original dystopia novel.  (Because this thing is about two hundred percent YA dystopia novel.) “Green Menace” Part one of a three-part story arc.  A regeneration story featuring an original male Doctor, a far-future companion, and a classic monster.  Warning: body horror, cliffhanger (continued in the next story, “Maze of Fears”). “Maze of Fears” Part two of a three-part story arc.  Immediately following the events of “Green Menace,” the original companion struggles to fix her mistake and figure out what’s real.  Warning: unreality, disorientation. “Two of Hearts” Part three of a three-part story arc.  A woman named Stella is working at a radio station in a city that seems a little—off.  And then she finds a playing card with a phone number on it, and a note: “The Doctor—call me when it goes odd.”  One classic monster, one New Who monster.

Sarah Jane Adventures

“Du Liebes Kind, Komm, Geh Mit Mir” Crossover with classic Who, slight crossover with new Who.  After she moves to America, Maria Jackson meets young Sarah Jane and gets caught up in an adventure with the Fourth Doctor.  Warning: Mental Manipulation.

[blueboxesandtrafficcones]

The Nuptial Necessity - Chapter 32

A 12xRose Human AU

Despite an unglamorous job description, Rose loves the work she does with The Thistle Foundation, a charity founded by her best friend’s great-uncle.  It doesn’t hurt that her boss, her friend’s father, is easy on the eyes.  With a great job, wonderful friends and a loving family, life couldn’t be better – except for having someone to share it with.

All of that is threatened, though, when the great-uncle dies – and sets a strange condition for his nephew to inherit, jeopardizing the Foundation and Rose’s future, sparking a chain of events that might just get her everything she dreamed of and more.

Chapters will be posted on Saturdays and Tuesdays.  Many thanks to my beta, @stupidsatsuma

Rated: Explicit, for smut

@doctorroseprompts

AO3  |  Masterlist

—

Saturday morning

The trilling coming from the nightstand woke her, and with an annoyed whine Rose stretched out her arm, searching blindly for the offending mobile.  Finding it she brought it to her face, prying one eye open to read the display – it wasn’t quite half seven, and it was an incoming call from Clara.

“Who’s it?” her husband mumbled against the back of her neck, wrapped tightly around her, and she pressed back against him.

“Clara.”

His panicked “Rose, no,” came too late- she’d already swiped to answer the call, Clara’s face filling the screen for a FaceTime call instead of the voice-only Rose had expected.

The small box in the corner showing what Clara was seeing told Rose that her best friend would be able to see (and unable to deny) that Rose and Malcolm were in bed together.  Oops.  “Erm, hi, Clar,” Rose offered half-heartedly, wriggling the fingers of her free hand in a wave.  “What’s up?”

“Please tell me you’re not in the middle of having sex,” the brunette said faintly, and to Rose’s further embarrassment Danny’s face immediately popped up behind Clara, his eyes widening for just a moment before he disappeared off screen again.

“We were sleeping,” Malcolm rolled his eyes, his arm wrapping tighter around Rose’s waist.  “Did you need something?”

Clara still appeared stunned, eyes wide and unblinking, mouth slightly open.  “We usually talk at this time,” she managed.  “It’s Saturday.  I assumed you’d be up- awake!  I thought you’d be awake.”  She shook her head.  “I don’t understand.”

Rose bit her lip, glancing over her shoulder at Malcolm, who nodded encouragingly.  “We… we’re together.  We talked it out and- we’re together.”

“Properly together or fuck-buddies together?”

“Clara!” Malcolm protested.  “Really.”

Rose elbowed him, smiling nervously.  “Properly together.  In all the gooey, mushy, lovestruck glory of a forever kind of love together.”

She waited for Clara’s response, anxious – though throughout everything Clara had seemed on board with the idea, had encouraged them both, at the moment of reckoning Rose worried she wouldn’t take it well.

“But you are shagging?”

“Clar.”

A wide smile spread over Clara’s face, and she began to squeal.  “Oh, really?  Really really really?”  She clapped in delight, turning to yell over her shoulder, “They’re in love!”

Danny’s off-camera reply of “No shit” just made them all laugh.

“Oh, I’m so happy for you,” Clara gushed, leaning forward towards her mobile as if that would bring her closer to them.  “Last we talked you weren’t sure how he felt – what happened?  Tell me everything.”

-

He found her in the kitchen of all places, perched on a barstool at the island next to Jack rifling through a familiar box, most of its contents spread on the countertop while across from them, Ianto worked diligently on building a veritable tower of sandwiches for them to take with them.

“Having fun jewelry shopping?” Malcolm asked, sidling up beside her, but judging by the way she jumped and looked up guiltily, his teasing tone hadn’t come through.

“I wanted to bring Clara something, after the way she found out.  If that’s okay,” she fumbled, peering up at him, and he smiled back in response.

“Oh, sweetheart.”  He brushed a tendril of hair from her face.  “This is all yours as much as it is mine – I was only teasing.  Have what you like, and if you want to give it to Clara, that’s perfectly fine and a wonderful idea.  Have you picked anything yet?”  Tearing his gaze from her he surveyed the countertop, covered in rings and necklaces mostly, gems sparkling in the industrial lighting Jack had installed as they were technically in the basement.

Relaxing back against him she showed him the few pieces she was considering, and when he pointed to one he thought his daughter might rather like, confessed it was her top contender as well.

“What about me, don’t I deserve something pretty?” Jack wanted to know, making Malcolm roll his eyes as Rose carefully returned the other jewelry pieces to the box, selection made.

“You’re the custodian of this place- how would I know what you do with it when I’m not here?” he shot back, arching an eyebrow at his cousin.  “In fact, I’d prefer not to know what you get up to, knowing you.”  His eyes cut to Ianto, who was doing a poor job of hiding a smirk, though he didn’t look up.

Shaking his head, he slipped an arm around Rose’s waist so she had to lean back and tilt her head up to see him.  “Ready to hit the road, sweetheart?”

She nodded, before scrunching up her face.  “Maybe one last walk through the house and gardens first, yeah?”

“I would love nothing more.”

-

They strolled hand in hand, and Rose did her best to soak up everything before they left, only realizing now how little of the house she’d seen.  “I am a little sorry to be leaving so soon,” she confessed, as they stepped out into the garden.  “Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled about our little tour, but I feel I didn’t get enough time here.”

“Well, we can return anytime you wish,” he shrugged.  “It’s not that expensive to come up.  Or we could even drive once, stay over on our way up.  Sightsee in England as well.”

“I love that idea.  Maybe I watch too much American telly, but the idea of a road trip always seemed so romantic.”  She leaned her head against his bicep.  “Have I mentioned lately how happy I am, with you?”

He let go of her hand to wrap his arm around her waist, pulling her tighter against him.  “No happier than I am to have you.  I’ve been dreaming of this, of being with you, for… a few years now.  I never thought it would happen, could happen, but I’m so happy it has.”

“I’ve loved you for so long,” she murmured in reply, slipping her hand around his back beneath his jacket.  “It still feels unreal to be able to tell you that.”

“Can you believe it’s only been a week?”  His hand slid down from her waist to her hip, dangerously close to being a (very welcome) grope.  “Last Saturday at this time we were getting ready for the Gala, and I thought the night would be perfect if I could hold you for several dances.  I had no idea what was to come, but I’m so happy it did.”

Rose smiled, thinking back to that night – how nervous she’d been, how she’d worried that he might reject her.  If only she’d known…  “I did.”

“What?”  He looked down at her, startled, and she laughed.

“It didn’t just happen.  I spent all week wrestling with myself, but I decided to shoot my shot as the cool kids say.  I deliberately seduced you.”  It was fun, watching the emotions play across his face as he digested that, and she was quietly relieved when he settled on stunned delight.

“Really?”

She nodded.  “Yep.  And, you’ll love this – it was Clara’s idea.  She encouraged me.  Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to- wanted you- but she convinced me I wouldn’t be making a fool of myself.”

“Clara?  My Clara?”  He looked adorably indignant, spluttering slightly.  “I don’t know if I should be grateful or annoyed at her interference.”  Then his brow furrowed.  “How, exactly, did you seduce me?”

“I’m sorry, did you see me in that dress?”

“And out of it.”  He smirked.  “You were stunning.”

“Damn right.  That was the point – I wanted your hands on my skin.  And I knew it was going to happen the moment you saw me and did your best impression of a fish.  And then you said fuck me.”  She smiled at the memory.  “So I did.”

He stopped walking then, turning to her, and then his mouth was on hers, tongue easing past parted lips, and she sagged into him, savoring the freedom to adore him, to let her heart sing with love.

“Thank you,” he whispered against her lips, when they finally pulled back for air.  Her brain was foggy, everything forgotten but for the taste of him.  Her befuddlement must have shown on her face because he chuckled, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose.  “For being brave enough,” he elaborated.  “I’m not sure I would have ever gotten up the courage to try my luck with you- I was too afraid of losing you.  I’d convinced myself I’d be happier in the long run pining for you with the possibility hanging over my head than if I asked and you turned me down.”

Rose smiled up at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning closer, glancing around the estate – they were alone in the garden, with a wonderful view of the back of the house, and she thought wistfully of the previous owner.  “I think we have Wallace to thank, really,” she murmured.  “He saw the truth, apparently, and got tired of watching us stand off to the side, too afraid to jump – so he pushed us.”

He dipped his head to kiss her, a small miracle that grew more familiar with every press of lips, though the familiarity did not lessen the impact he had on her – quickened heartbeat, shallow breaths, and an overwhelming desire to find the nearest flat surface.  Not that the last bit was anything particularly new, he had often unknowingly elicited such a response in her, but now, now, she knew he would be in enthusiastic favor of such a diversion.

The future was ripe with possibilities.

-

“We’ll have to keep in touch,” Rose enthused, hugging Sarah Jane goodbye.  It was finally time to go, and the woman had been kind enough to come see them off.  “I have your email, and I’ll write you once we’re home.”

“And call,” the older woman ordered, squeezing her tightly.  “I want to hear all about your tour.  Well, most of it.  No, all of it.”

They shared a smirk that made Malcolm’s ears go red and Jack cough in a poor attempt to hide a laugh.

“We’ve a lot of driving to do today…” her husband tried to hurry them along, trying to shift Rose using his hands around her waist.  “Time to go.”

Rose resisted, though, going in for one more hug.  “Next time we come we’ll bring Clara,” she promised on the fly.  “So you can meet properly.  She’d love to hear your stories about your days in uni- especially if they involve her.”

“There’s plenty of those,” Sarah Jane laughed in response.  “Not all of them are ones she’ll want to hear, though.”

“In that case, I have to hear them.”

Then it was time to say goodbye to Jack, and overcome by an unexpected wave of emotion, Rose buried her face in the man’s broad shoulder.  “I’m going to miss you,” she mumbled.  “I’m so glad we got a chance to get to know one another.”

“So am I,” he said kindly as they pulled away, before glancing over her shoulder at Malcolm.  “Don’t be strangers – we’re family.”

“We’ll be back,” Rose repeated, wiping at her eyes.  “Thank you for everything.”

“Jack,” Malcolm said somewhat stiffly, as Rose leaned into his side, holding out his hand to his cousin.

“My Lord,” the younger man said in reply, before breaking into a smile.  “C’mere.”  The two men hugged, Rose watching on with a watery smile.  “So, where’s the first stop?”

Having played a large part in planning their itinerary, it was an obvious ploy to keep them there a little longer.  Malcolm knew it as well, but indulged the delay.  “Walk through the Old Town in Inverness, stop for lunch.  Rose wants to see Culloden, then we’ll drive along the coast down to Aberdeen, stopping along the way as she likes.”

Jack nodded, lips pressed together tightly, a hint of moisture in his eyes.  “A fine plan,” he managed.  “Travel safe.”

With one more hug it was time to go, Malcolm helping Rose up into the canary-yellow roadster before jogging around to the driver’s side.  She waved as they drove off until they were out of sight, before settling back in her seat and resting her head on her husband’s shoulder.

“We’ll be back soon enough,” he promised, taking one hand off the wheel to pat at her knee.  “There’s lots more to Scotland to explore.”

She nodded, watching the town of Bonnar Bridge fly past, before sitting bolt upright, eyes widening.  “Hey!”

“What?”

“How come we’ve been in Scotland for a week and I have yet to see you in a kilt?”

He laughed, the sound bright and cheerful, before shaking his head.  “I’ve one in my bag, I can try it on for you later if you like,” he offered, grinning.

“Good.  I want to find out for myself if it’s true.”

“If what’s true?”

Her smile widened, hand landing on his knee before sliding upwards.  “What you do- or don’t- wear under that thing.”

“Rose Tyler!”

[deafwestnewsies]

and oh, don’t you want to get better?

Davey reaches the end of his wits, while Jack finally gathers his. 

companion piece to from his lips came forth the world, read that first! both on my ao3 and ff.net. 

jack kelly x davey jacobs

Of things to be grateful for, the fact that Spot’s looks couldn’t actually kill was very high up on Jack’s list. If the hypothetically deadly glares had any weight behind them, he knew that Davey would have been a goner by the time he had stepped into his apartment. 

Spot came stumbling in after Race, groggily rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “I’ll kick yer ass, Kelly, swear on me mother’s gra-” (The gaelic accent tended to rear it’s Irish head whenever the boy was especially tired) Just as his boyfriend had been taken aback, Spot stopped in the middle of the hallway behind Race. His gaping stare was illuminated by the light seemingly coming from the inside of Davey, making him glow in a forbidding way. 

Jack, tired of the evil supervillain act, flicked the living room light on and sat down on the couch. “I found him crying in an alley.” 

This caused Davey to break, sputtering out excuses and suddenly the electricity crackling up and down his body lessened. “Sorry,” Spot cut him off. “Who the hell is yer boy?” 

“My name is David Jacobs, and I am not his boy.” Jack scoffed from his comfortable position on the couch.

“You’re mine enough. I’m not the one wearing handcuffs.” 

“I could have killed you, Jack, do not start-” 

“Who was holding a knife to your throat?”

“Who drives a shitty blue Honda?” 

“Are you seriously making fun of my car right now? You’re my hostage!” 

“Which is totally illegal in the state of New York, by the way!” 

“So is robbery, dumbass-” 

Clearing his throat, Race raised an eyebrow. His facial expressions betrayed the humor he felt in the situation, watching his best friend bicker with the boy who had nearly killed him on a number of occasions. “Babe, if you haven’t caught on already, this is Override.” 

Spot had not caught on because of the exhaustion, but these words roared his brain to life. “You’re Override?” Race placed a gentle hand on his arm, reminding him that this was still an apartment building at three in the morning. “The puny little wimp who hides behind clouds?” 

Since Davey was now available to ask questions and figure out his dastardly plans, Jack was relieved that Spot’s looks could not kill. His fists, however, curling together, were a different story, and possibly just as lethal. “I do not hide behind clouds, thank you very much.” Davey sniffed. “The clouds are under my control. And it’s really an emphasis on lightning.” Jack rolled his eyes, tired of listening to the boy with the egotistical complex speak. He got to his feet and took Davey by the shoulders, steering him towards his bedroom. “Where are you taking me?” He questioned, struggling against the handcuffs. Why didn’t I get super strength instead? What the hell is energy going to do for me? “You have to let me go!” 

“Think of this as penance for the whole throwing me into a rosebush thing, asshole. You’re staying with us.” 

“Where are we going to keep him?” Race questioned, walking into the kitchen for paper towels. The coffee was staining the carpet. 

Metal cuffs. Green wiring. ...Some room for escape. “Materialize.” Before anyone could react, Jack cuffed one of his wrists to the chain connecting Davey’s hands. “Only I can make a key for these, and they’re resistant to your...” The gesture with his free hand was vague, waving at the glow still emitting from the body. “Whole thing. Hope you’re comfortable sharing a twin bed.” 

___

There were flaws in this plan, as there are in any half-baked ideas. The first was getting zapped awake by Davey, stating that he had an eight o’clock class where attendance was mandatory. Next was finding out a schedule for which the boys called ‘Davey Duty,’ where they each went to his classes with him to make sure that he didn’t run at the first chance he had. Last, and possibly the hardest roadblock of them all, was getting the boy to talk to them. 

“I’ll talk to you about literally anything else, but not my powers. I already told Jack everything.” Spot crossed his arms, irritated at the fact that they had held him in the apartment for almost two weeks and were getting positively nowhere. Soon, he was going to resort to making Davey stick his fingers in electrical sockets to see what happens, but Jack had called it ‘inhumane’ and ‘against our code,’ whatever the hell that meant. Race had been totally on Spot’s side. 

Jack and Davey couldn’t be in a room without picking a fight with one another, arguing about the lack of information Davey was giving over, or the fact that Jack had warmed up soup that Davey didn’t like the smell of. They found ways to push each other’s buttons until the other had to leave the room, hands flung in the air, frustrated. When they weren’t together, however, Spot and Race noticed the change in tone when the other boy was brought up. Davey, on more than one occasion, had praised Jack, “He’s good at what he does. There isn’t a hero I’d give the time of day that isn’t him.” On the other hand, Jack stopped Spot from conducting his experiments on the boy, and the couple knew exactly what that meant. If Jack wasn’t up for wacky tests on evil subjects, it could only mean one thing. 

“So r’we gonna talk about you and Kelly?” Spot questioned, casually leaning back in his chair. If he couldn’t do his research, he might as well have a little fun with it. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Davey answered, his tone final. He didn’t want to talk about Jack, the idiot in the latex rainbow suit who had caught him. Especially not since the fighting had been growing worse between them, the air in a room changing immediately the second they were both inside of it. Davey would be the first to admit that yes, he had done some terrible things to him in the past, but he didn’t know Jack was inside of the suit! Like, couldn’t he get over it already? 

It made his insides burn that Jack wouldn’t forgive him for his past actions. He would never understand that he did everything for his family, his brother and sister who worked so hard, his parents who bleed themselves dry for their children. Les was going through a rough patch and he shouldn’t have been punished for this. What was the point of having magical superpowers if you couldn’t use them to saving your own fucking family? The added financial stress began to make his head ache with worry. The next pay period for school was over in four days, and he had to pay both him and his brother’s tuition statements. 

There was no point in asking Jack to go home, even if for a moment, to explain to his parents what might happen. They would just fight and Davey would leave feeling worse than before. He didn’t want to think about the implications of these feelings, the ones he hadn’t felt since Stanley Eidelman wanted to be his lab partner junior year of high school. Stanley wasn’t just a lab partner in the end, but they ended things the same way Davey was trying to end things with Jack: fighting constantly. But that was ridiculous to say, because they were not anything, not lab partners, certainly not boyf- No. They were captor and captive. Tormentor and hero. Good and evil. 

“I won’t talk to anyone but Jack.” He crossed his arms to signify that he was done and he wouldn’t speak to Spot anymore. 

“Thas what I thought you’d say, Sparky.” The smirk on Spot’s face was enough punishment for Davey’s lifetime. 

___

A knock on the door rang through the room, startling Davey out of his quiet thoughts. “Heard you wanted to speak ta me?” Jack stood at the doorframe. 

“You don’t have to knock if you’re the one keeping it locked,” Davey spit at him. 

“Don’t get me started today, Jacobs. You’s the one who kept disagreeing the whole time we was talkin’ about Jane Austen and makin’ everyone feel weird.” 

Davey huffed loudly, turning to face the wall. “It’s not about that, even though you were wrong. She’s a great example of female literature.” 

He entered the room, sitting on his bed. “She believes too much in’er written men, but whatever.” It was strange, seeing his room inhabited by someone else. There were more textbooks on the desk, an extra pair of shoes by the door, the laundry basket piled up faster. He couldn’t find himself to be annoyed by the new additions, however, and he couldn’t figure out why. (You know the reason, his brain nagged at him.) “What’s it about then?” 

“Tuition is due on Friday.” There was no point in beating around the bush. Everyone in that apartment knew the motive behind Override’s evil acts of theft, and had watched as Davey Jacobs tried desperately to fix his family. “If I can’t pay it on time, I swear I’ll kill you.” 

Davey didn’t turn around to face him, and Jack was glad for that. The crestfallen look that had shadowed over his face for a split second was just a sign of weakness. The steely tone of Davey’s voice cut him as he threatened, “I’ll drop you in another lake and make sure you never come back up.” 

“All this for school?” Jack questioned, his tone pleading. 

“You don’t understand!” Davey roared, turning around in his chair. 

Backing up, growing closer to the doorway, Jack held out his hands. “You’re right. But Davey, please. Make me get it. Let me help you.” 

The words he was prepared to throw like bolts of lightning died in his throat at Jack’s soft tone. They reminded him of the days when his father asked him to help with bills, his barely educated mind not understanding what was due when. Or how his mother would look at him and Sarah at the grocer’s till, waiting for them to translate what was expected of her into Hebrew so she could understand. Make me get it. 

“You won’t get it. You’ll never understand.” There was nothing Davey wanted to do more than shoulder his way past Jack and storm out of the room, but he was trapped there. Trapped in this room, trapped by his money, trapped by his own feelings. 

There was a soft click as the door shut and locked behind him. 

Trapped. 

___

He should’ve known the moment there wasn’t an answer to the knock on his door. Assuming Davey was asleep, Jack settled to try later in the day, but no one answered then, too. In a panic he flung open the door, finding an empty room with the window curtain fluttering in the breeze. The broken panes of glass littered the grass beneath it, with no body or blood to be found. Jack breathed a deep sigh of relief, Davey was still alive, he could still be rescued. 

Not that he’d call being held captive rescue. More like rehabilitation. 

It wasn’t difficult to find him, he was being sporadic with his movements and weather patterns. Race tracked him within thirty seconds, giving Jack an address to a park that wasn’t too far away, about a five minute drive if Jack really tried to ignore speed limit laws. (Which he did normally.) Throwing on his suit and leaping into his car, Jack careened down roadways until he pulled up next to Larkin Park. 

Immediately he knew that Davey was still here, the air was charged with energy and the clouds swirled around overhead angrily. He felt damp, like it had just finished raining but his socks were wet, so the discomfort lingered but the aerial magic was gone. “Davey?” Jack called out, the name echoing in the wind. Race hissed at him to be quiet, Davey could be in an unstable state and Jack wanted to have the upper hand in the situation. 

After some rooting around in the trees, Jack came across Davey sitting quietly on the floor. He was surrounded by trees, a carpet of grass underneath him, and looked almost peaceful if it were not for the pile of money sitting in front of him. The image stopped Jack cold, and Race asked if he was okay, his heart rate was fluctuating, did anything happen? Instead of answering him, Jack slowly walked toward Davey. The wind whistled in his ears, hard and fast. 

“Davey?” At the sound, the boy turned around in shock. The speed of the wind picked up, making Jack shiver with terror. He could feel the electricity in the air, he could taste it on the currents. 

“I told you, Jack.” His voice was low. “I told you I would do anything for my family.” 

“But you didn’t! You never said it was about them! It was always about school!” 

His laughter was maniacal and Jack swore his heart stopped beating for a moment. This was not the boy who he had been teasing for weeks, bickering about classic literature and which poptart is the best. This was another man entirely. “You’re a fool, Jack. It’s always been about my family. My parents worked so hard to get here. My sister is a genius, but they won’t see her as anything but the coffee girl. My brother wants so much but I can’t give it to him!” Thunder rolled across the sky to mask the quiver in his voice on the last words. 

“I’ll do anything for them.” 

Grey. 

“It’s a waste to not use what I have for them.” 

Steel. 

“I could do anything for you too, you know.” 

Slick to the tou- What? 

The thought of the throwing knife abandoned itself in his mind as he thought about the sentence Davey had just said, the quiet tones of embarrassment evident. I could do anything for you too, you know. Just as he was about to respond, a gust of particularly strong wind blew the words right out of him and took the pile of cash with it. Money fluttered around them in different directions as Davey howled, desperately grabbing at the air. The swirling eye of the storm gathered most of it and left the boy hunched over on his knees. 

“Davey,” Jack moved to touch his shoulder, thinking the storm had finally passed. 

“No!” He howled, shooting a bolt of lighting back at Jack. He ducked in just enough time, but the energy hit the tree behind them and erupted into flames. The dark, grey light of the storm above was now terrifyingly mixed with the orange glow of the fire, illuminating the tears running down Davey’s face. Jack didn’t hesitate this time. 

Grey. Steel. Slick to the touch. “Materialize,” he whispered, the sound barely audible against the bouts of thunder. He flicked the knife with precision, landing it into Davey’s leg and wincing at the scream of pain. 

He rushed to Davey and hunched over him with care, tears running down his own face, and Jack finally looked into Davey’s eyes. He was defeated. He was tired. Jack was not. “Jack.” Davey tried to speak, but it came out in more of a croak. “I’m sorry.” 

The fire roared behind them, the lighting cracked across the sky, but Jack held Davey in his arms. “Yea, Dave. I got you.” 

I Am Emotionally Drained. Be Ready For Lesbians Next Part Of This. 

[mothchamp]

Things to do during this god-awful hiatus

It's like 2016 all over again: no Doctor Who. At all. But! It's a 55 year old franchise guys, there will always be new content, no matter how much you've consumed.

[Under the cut because I'm not THAT Guy]

Watch the rest of NuWho. Yeah, this might sound obvious to some, but it's come to my attention that a lot of the new fans have only seen season 11! If so, I personally recommend the 11th Doctor (his run starting on season 5), because him and 13 are very similar. Honestly though, just start with season 1, it's really good (never skip 9 was a really big rule back in the day, you know).

Watch the spin-offs! There's three of them now, and yes, there have been some riots about side characters who deserve shows of their own, but the ones we have are actually pretty good! There's Torchwood, following Jack Harkness and his group of alien-fighting friends (a bit more mature that dw); Sarah Jane Adventures, which contains the woman herself, her son, and a couple of friends as they defeat aliens from their attic. This one's a bit more kiddy, being a CBBC show, but I still think it's really good; and Class. There are mixed opinions about Class, but the overall consensus was that it should have been renewed for s2. It has a completely new cast, so you've never see any of the characters before, and it has some really good lgbt rep.

Give Classic Who a go. Honestly? It's up in the air as to whether or not I think these new fans would like it, but if you can see past the... let's say obvious display of a low budget, then it's very good. Yes, 26 seasons is a lot, but you don't really have to watch them all in order, just pick a Doctor and watch his run, then pick another and watch that, etc. It's what I'm doing right now!

Watch the film/read the EDAs. As most people know, 8 (Paul Mcgann) was only around for the film, then disappeared and NuWho came back with Christopher Eccleston. But! Did you know that there are countless novels containing many, many adventures with 8? With new companions and aliens and everything? As a product of it's time, it's actually pretty gay (no spoilers but whew eda fans Fitz's dream, right?) and the writing is really good. Just... see past the obvious crack the writers were smoking.

Read the other books. Read, you heathens, read! Literally there are at least three books from every era just find them online or on Amazon or something.

Have a go at the comics? The comics... whew I honestly would believe it if someone said there were more dw comic issues than episodes. They're in every era with every doctor, sometimes even multiple doctors! Yes they've got 13 content already out.

Listen to the audio dramas. Ok, I'll be the first to admit they're pricey as all hell (I torrent mine shhhh) so you might not be able to access these as easily (seriously just use audiobookbay it's all there) but I really do think you should give them a go. The fanservice is so good it makes me weep honestly. Lgbt rep? Check. More content from your faves? REALLY check (seriously, there's a Paternoster Gang series coming soon, and Missy has one, and River). Your faves being messy? Yup. Your wildest headcanons being achieved? Oh yeah. Seriously. I recommend.

The Faction Paradox. No. No. N O.

Watch the minisodes? I dunno, they're pretty entertaining, but it's not much content at a l l. They're mostly 11th Doctor, season 6-ish era. Kind of slice-of-life shenanigans. If you like River Song there are a few where 11 and her go on some dates.

Is that it? I don't know, honestly. There's always going to be something about Doctor Who that I don't know, but I think all of this content should supply you until 2020. I hope. God please let it be enough.

[javic-piotr-thane]

The whole VORTEX article about the new TW monthlies

The monsters are coming – and Torchwood is ready!

This year’s Torchwood monthly range features something a little different as it ties together Doctor Who with its more adult spin-off series through a number of classic and new series monsters. Producer James Goss explains: “With Torchwood vs monsters we’re doing four stories that show how different Doctor Who monsters behave in a Torchwood world.

“There are less neat, happy endings, a fair number of deaths and sometimes the moral high ground just goes missing. It’s a great way to bring in listeners who’ve never tried a Torchwood before, and it has also proved to be an interesting project.

“We argued over which monsters to feature! Some we included for valid reasons (of course the Welshest sci-fi series ever should do a sequel to the Third Doctor TV episode, The Green Death) and some because we thought they’d be brilliant – the Fendahl one literally happened because we couldn’t stop thinking about the cover. Fans of continuity will be appalled to hear that it’s not too laboured, but Scott Handcock had great fun trying to explain the concept of the Fendahl gestalt to Eve Myles!

“It also allowed us to bring Indira Varma and Annette Badland together for a day, and let Kai Owen have fun kicking plastic monsters.”

---

This fifth series of Torchwood begins in March with Night of the Fendahl by Tim Foley. He tells Vortex: “James asked me if I wanted to do an adventure about Gwen and the Fendahl (codename: Gwendahl). So I pitched some story ideas. I’ve always been fascinated with consequences and I think it’s my favourite thing about this range. Whilst the Doctor zips off when an adventure is over, organisations like Torchwood have to mop up the mess. So what happened to Fetch Priory? Who told its story? Who took its history and its hopelessness and its horror and asked for more cleavage?”

Summing up the tale, Tim says: “We’re on a film set, about to shoot the final scene of a questionable horror. But Gwen Cooper’s in the cast, so unless she’s had a sudden career change that should set some alarm bells ringing. It’s a homage to horror films through the ages, and it’s not a tale for the faint-hearted.

“The Fendahl ramped up the horror themselves, I was powerless to intervene! Paralysing, draining, transmogrifying… the Fendahl’s relentless apathy makes it a much darker threat than some of its contemporaries. In a Torchwood setting we get to lay bare this darkness, smearing this inky black like baby oil. I cannot express the sheer terror and delight I feel about bringing back the Fendahl. I hope people aren’t too disturbed… but then again, I secretly hope they are.”

---

Picking up from the events of 1973’s The Green Death this April comes, well, The Green Life, in which Jo Jones teams up with Captain Jack Harkness to face the giant maggots. Writer David Llewellyn tells us more: “Scott Handcock and I met up for coffee to discuss some other project and he mentioned in passing that they were looking for someone to write their ‘Torchwood vs the Maggots story’ as I think he called it.”

David reveals he was given a very simple brief: “‘MAGGOTS!’ James was very keen that we open with maggots, and that we throw Jack and Jo in at the deep end. We talked through various ideas about what Llanfairfach might be like after all this time. I didn’t want to go down the ‘sad, depressing valley’ route because that’s a bit of a cliché and it’s something we’d already explored in Gareth David Lloyd’s story The Last Beacon. So I went in the opposite direction. Llanfairfach is thriving – in all sorts of ways!’

Jo, of course, is one of the happiest, loveliest characters to ever feature in Doctor Who, which in turn made it awkward to put her into the darker Torchwood world. David admits it was: “Very difficult, actually. The temptation was to make Jo a more cynical character so that she’d fit in, but then James and Scott steered me back to her appearance in The Sarah Jane Adventures, where she’s this ball of energy and exuberance.

“So then it became more a case of how you create tension and friction and comedy and drama out of that contrast, between Jo’s smiley optimism and Jack’s more pragmatic, hard-nosed approach. That really brought the script to life, I think. Jo is enormous fun to write as a ‘fish out of water’.”

---

A new series monster faces off with the bad girl of Torchwood in Sync by Lisa McMullin, as Suzie Costello and Blon FelFotch Passameer-Day Slitheen / Margaret Blaine face off. Lisa says: “The brief was wide open for this one – just an adventure with Suzie and Blon set at some point between the events of World War Three and Boom Town.

“Blon and Suzie are such gorgeous characters to write for because they’re both such devious villains – you don’t know who to root for. And they both have serious ‘daddy’ issues. It was fun looking for ways in which they could bond, to create moments of empathy… whilst they were trying to kill each other.

“It’s a race-against-time adventure caper, as Suzie and Blon have to join forces to track down the survivor of a crashed spacecraft before incoming missiles destroy half of Cardiff. But of course they’ve both got ulterior motives. It’s like an alien Thelma and Louise – if Thelma and Louise wanted to kill each other!”

Reprising her role as Margaret Blaine is Annette Badland, who told Vortex: “Since I started recording audios for Big Finish I’ve been asking when they would bring back Margaret as I just loved playing her, but they told me it would be hard to fit her in because of the continuity. But now, here she is, in Cardiff opposite Suzie Costello played by the lovely Indira Varma.  Before we recorded this I had been to see Indira in a play a few weeks beforehand, and she was just superb.

“I really enjoyed playing Margaret again – people still recognise me for it even though it was over a decade ago. She has such fun doing what she does, and that makes her even more fun for me to do, because I can go with it. You don’t get to be horrible to people in real life, so being able to do it through Margaret is so enjoyable!”

---

In June, Rhys Williams is front and centre in Sargasso, which features the topical issue of plastic in our seas. And when you think of plastic, the chances are you’ll think of Autons.

Writer Christopher Cooper says: “Scott and James already had a clear story in mind for Rhys and the Autons set on a ship lost in the Sargasso Sea. Rhys is on a delivery job to the U.S. which involves a tedious week on a container ship. He fills his time listening to CDs, reading and sleeping… until the engines stop. The crew have vanished and his only companion is Kaitlin, a terrified young American who really should have caught a plane home. And something plasticky wants them dead. It’s straight-up horror in the vein of The Thing or Alien, or The Horror of Fang Rock.”

How did Chris find writing for established monsters like the Autons? He admits: “The Autons were a challenge because on TV they don’t say very much, so translating a very visual baddie into an audio threat took some thought. The key was to think about how they worked best in Doctor Who – they take the form of mundane objects and the terror comes from seeing something from the everyday turn into a horrible murdering thing, so I looked for things you might hear in normal life. But I think it’ll be the silence when you don’t hear those sounds that will be most scary.”

[aion-rsa]

Doctor Who: Previous Guest Stars Who’d Be Great as the New Doctor

https://ift.tt/2W1ERwy

It’s not unusual, in the world of Doctor Who, for the same actor to play more than one role on screen. From classic to modern Doctor Who, Nicholas Courtney, Ian Marter, Lalla Ward, Jaqueline Hill, Jean Marsh, Adjoa Andoh, Eve Myles, Naoko Mori, Vinette Robinson and more have all played multiple parts in the whoniverse. Before she debuted as companion Martha Jones, Freema Agyeman was a Torchwood employee who fell foul of the Cybermen in series two’s ‘Army of Ghosts’. Karen Gillan was a seer in series four episode ‘The Fires of Pompeii’ before she recurred as Eleven’s companion Amy Pond. Even the Doctor has had test runs. Colin Baker played a Gallifreyan commander in season twenty before taking over from Peter Davison. Peter Capaldi appeared in ‘The Fires of Pompeii’ as well as playing John Frobisher on Torchwood before taking up residence in the TARDIS.   

In the search for the new Doctor then, it makes sense to rifle through those actors the show already picked once to see who might be asked back. Continuity can be handled if need be – just do what Russell T. Davies did and make up something about spacial genetic multiplicity, or what Steven Moffat did and pretend it was all part of the Doctor’s plan to remind him to be a good man. In a few cases, the shared genetics wouldn’t even be an issue as the actor in question’s first appearance was either solely as a voice, or beneath too many layers of prosthetics to matter.

Gliding over a few previous guest stars whose current filming commitments likely take them out of the running (Andrew Garfield, Carey Mulligan, James Norton, Felicity Jones, Gemma Chan and Gugu Mbutha-Raw are probably all tied up…), here’s a choice selection of guest actors since 2005 who could all make fantastic, and very different, Doctors.

Chris Addison

Played: AI interface ‘Seb’, who greeted the recently deceased to Missy’s Nethersphere. Appeared in: Two-part Series Eight finale ‘Dark Water/Death in Heaven‘. Watch his stand-up and there’s a real Tenth Doctor energy about writer-director-producer-comedian-actor Chris Addison (The Thick of It, In the Loop, Veep). That probably means his time has come and gone on Doctor Who, as the show isn’t likely to want to repeat itself at this stage. Addison also has his plate full with the third series of Sky/FX’s excellent comedy-drama Breeders, but you could definitely picture him at the TARDIS console, couldn’t you?

Arsher Ali

Played: Bennett, a bookish recent military recruit to a Scottish underwater mining facility in 2119. Appeared in: Series 9 two-parter ‘Under the Lake/Before the Flood‘ Part of a large crew (initially at least) we didn’t see loads of Arsher Ali in his Doctor Who role, but what we saw was enough to convince that he has the presence and bearing of a potential Doctor. He was great as the lead in BBC’s Informer and as a conflicted journalist in the first series of The Missing, as well as in supporting role in Line of Duty‘s best series. Add all that to his breadth of stage experience and he’s a highly intriguing prospect.

Percelle Ascott

Played: Delph, a member of the Ux, humanoid aliens who live for thousands of years and have the power of telepathic inter-dimensional engineering (they can teleport planets). Appeared in: Season 11, Episode 10 ‘The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos‘. Not the only entry on this list with a Doctor Who-adjacent role in his back catalogue (see also: Anjli Mohindra in The Sarah-Jane Adventures), as a teenager, Ascott played science geek Benny in Russell T. Davies’ Wizards Vs Aliens. He was great then, but really showed his range in cancelled-too-soon Netflix supernatural drama The Innocents, where he stole the show. When he popped back up opposite Jodie Whittaker’s Doctor as the wise and conscience-led Delph, it was hard not to imagine what he might do in the Doctor’s role.

Zawe Ashton

Played: Lieutenant Journey Blue of the Combined Galactic Resistance, a solider on the Aristotle. Appeared in: the Ben Wheatley-directed Series 8 episode ‘Into the Dalek‘. A regular on ‘Next Doctor’ wishlists for some time now, Zawe Ashton is a terrific actor who came to fame as hedonist Vod in Channel 4 student comedy Fresh Meat and who’s recently been seen in Hulu’s The Handmaid’s Tale. In ‘Into the Dalek’ she played a ‘shoot first ask questions later’ soldier, but Ashton has the range for serious, absurd and very funny – in short, everything required to make a great Doctor.

Maxim Baldry

Played: Dr Polidori, a nineteenth century character who was part of Mary and Percy Shelley’s social circle. Appeared in: Series 12’s ‘The Haunting of Villa Diodati‘, about the summer Mary Shelley conceived her famous science-fiction novel Frankenstein. Baldry’s scored a role in Amazon Prime Video’s new mega-money Lord of the Rings TV series, so his dance card is likely full for now, but he’s just the sort of actor to breathe fresh life into the role of the Doctor, much in the way Matt Smith did back in 2010. He’s probably best recognised right now as Viktor, the asylum-seeking boyfriend of Russell Tovey’s character in Russell T. Davies’ future-predicting Years and Years, but the Russian-British actor has been acting in films since he was a child.

Sanjeev Bhaskar

Played: UNIT’s Colonel Ahmed, a colleague of Kate Lethbridge-Stewart in the fight against Missy’s Cybermen-from-corpses wicked plan. Appeared in: Series 8 finale ‘Death in Heaven‘. This Doctor Who role was just not enough of Sanjeev Bhaskar, an actor-writer-comedian whose role as DS Sunny Khan in ITV detective series Unforgotten has elevated him to the status of national treasure (partly because of his backpack, but mostly because of his decency and warm humour). Bhaskar is playing Cain opposite Asim Chaudhry’s Abel in Netflix’s forthcoming The Sandman series, and there’s series five of Unforgotten on the way, but wouldn’t he be great as the Doctor? As would another member of his family (see below)…

Mark Bonnar

Played: 22nd century miner Jimmy Wicks in the one with the ‘ganger’ clones. Appeared in: Series 6 two-parter ‘The Rebel Flesh/The Almost People’. No, of course they won’t let another funny, clever, slightly scary Scot with a brilliant face be the Doctor so soon after Peter Capaldi, but in a parallel universe, Mark Bonnar would make a very fine Doctor – something that hasn’t escaped Big Finish. He’s got it all (funny, clever, slightly scary, brilliant face) and frequently steals whichever show he’s in. Watch this two-parter, Catastrophe, Unforgotten series two and the brilliant Guilt (series two of which is approaching) for evidence of that.

Kevin Eldon

Played: Ribbons of the Seven Stomachs, a trader in the ‘Antizone’ obsessed with the Doctor’s “tubular” (or Sonic Screwdriver), and the voice of companion Antimony in an animated online adventure. Appeared in: Series 11’s ‘It Takes You Away‘ and 2001 webcast ‘Death Comes to Time’. It just seems a waste for the multi-talented Kevin Eldon to only play just one (or technically two, but just one on-screen) role on Doctor Who. And because his series 11 appearance was under a faceful of prosthetics, it wouldn’t even cause any continuity errors for him to come back in the role of the Doctor. Or a companion. Or another alien. Whatever it is, just give us more Eldon please.

O-T Fagbenle

Played: ‘Other Dave’, an engineer on an expedition to The Library who was eaten by the Vashta Nerada but brought back to life in the computer core. Appeared in: Series 4 two-parter ‘Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead‘ Fagbenle has recently been seen as Natasha’s fixer in Black Widow, June’s husband Luke in The Handmaid’s Tale, and as the lead character in sitcom Maxxx, about a washed-up former boy band member. The man has dramatic and comedy range, a very good American accent (not necessarily relevant here) and excellent screen presence. He’d rock the role of the Doctor.

Siobhan Finneran

Played: 17th century landlady/witch prosecutor Becka Savage/Morax queen Appeared in: Series 11’s ‘The Witchfinders‘. If the new Doctor’s going to be a woman in her early fifties, then it should really go to Jo Martin, but if she’s busy, how great would Siobhan Finneran be? The Happy Valley and Downton Abbey actor’s a treat in everything. She can be equal parts funny and imperious, and you can easily imagine her running circles around alien fiends and having a load of fun doing it.

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Tamsin Grieg

Played: the Nurse who inserts Adam’s infospike on Satellite 5. Appeared in: Series 1 Simon Pegg-starring episode ‘The Long Game’, alongside Anna Maxwell-Martin (who might also deserve a place on this list come to think about it). Tamsin Grieg would make such a good Doctor it almost makes you angry she’s never played the role. She has the dramatic chops to deliver all the world-saving speeches, and the comedic skill to give it all a sparkling light touch. She was chilling in her small Series 1 role, but it only showed a tiny portion of what she can do. Also, wouldn’t she look great in a signature coat.

Suranne Jones

Played: Idris, into whom the ‘soul’ of the TARDIS was poured, making her the ship incarnate until her body died. Appeared in: Series 6 episode ‘The Doctor’s Wife‘, written by Neil Gaiman. Perhaps a bit too similar to Jodie Whittaker to be a likely successor, but you only have to see Suranne Jones in BBC/HBO drama Gentleman Jack to know that she’s made of Doctor material. As nineteenth-century landowner and famed lesbian Anne Lister, she’s cleverer and faster than everybody else, with a fierce sense of boundary-breaking why-not-ness, and plenty of emotion. Look at most of Jones’ roles, including that of the TARDIS itself, and she’d be great in the part, especially if her regular collaborator Sally Wainwright is enticed into the showrunner gig.

Paterson Joseph

Played: the venal Rodrick, who competed against Rose Tyler in The Weakest Link on the Game Station. Appeared in: Series 1 two-parter ‘Bad Wolf/The Parting of the Ways’. Paterson Joseph was famously up for the role of the Eleventh Doctor that ultimately went to Matt Smith, and has been a stalwart entry in ‘Who next?’ lists of this sort ever since, so… this isn’t going to happen, but wouldn’t it have been great if it had? The Peep Show, The Leftovers, Noughts + Crosses actor and Big Finish voice artist is currently showing off his commander chops in BBC One submarine thriller Vigil.

Ralf Little

Played: Steadfast, one of the few crew members of an off-world colony ship who weren’t murdered by nano-bots. Appeared in: Series 10 episode ‘Smile‘. He’s currently solving baroque murders on a fictional Caribbean island in Death in Paradise, but none of that lot ever last long, which could free Little up for another spin in the TARDIS. Little has been a familiar face on British TV for years, after playing feckless teenager Anthony on The Royle Family and starring in a BBC Three sitcom that spanned the entire noughties, but now a little older, with plenty of experience under his belt, it could be Ralf Little’s time.

Susan Lynch

Played: Pilot Angstrom, a competitor in an intergalactic race who meets Thirteen on her second ever adventure. Appeared in: Series 11 episode ‘The Ghost Monument’. You don’t need telling why Susan Lynch would make a great Doctor, just watch any decent British drama from the last decade and she’s in it, showing you. From Save Me to Unforgotten to Happy Valley to Killing Eve to any number of TV and film roles, she’s a scene-stealer who can play mystery, tragedy, power… everything the role calls for.

Daniel Mays

Played: Alex, the unwitting foster dad of a Tenza-in-human-form son, George. Appeared in: Series 6 episode ‘Night Terrors‘ written by Mark Gatiss. RADA-trained Danny Mays can do comedy, drama, has some serious dance moves, and was a Line of Duty guest star, so we know he’d have no problem at all learning the Doctor’s long speeches. If the TARDIS wanted to cast a Gallifreyan Doctor by way of Essex, he’d be top of the list.

T’Nia Miller

Played: The General, Military Commander of the Time Lords, in their Twelfth Regeneration. Appeared in: Series 9 finale ‘Hell Bent’. The Years & Years and Foundation star played a Time Lord in her Doctor Who debut and can even already tick ‘Regeneration’ off the to-do list. Miller clearly has the bearing and gravitas required of the Doctor, looks great even in impractically massive armour, and was the absolute stand-out in Netflix’s 2020 horror series The Haunting of Bly Manor. If they could work out the continuity for a reappearance, she’d rock the role.

Lucian Msamati

Played: Guido, the father of Isabella, a new enrolment at Rosanna Calvierri’s school for girls. Appeared in: Series 5 episode ‘The Vampires of Venice.’ Since appearing in this 2010 Doctor Who episode, Msamati has gone on to appear in major series, from Game of Thrones to Gangs of London and His Dark Materials. He’s an experienced stage actor too, who’d be sure to bring dramatic heft to the role of the Doctor.

Anjli Mohindra

Played: the Scorpion-like Queen of the Skithra, a species that relies on other species for their engineering. Appeared in: Series 12 episode ‘Nikola Tesla’s Night of Terror‘. Anjli Mohindra already has a long history with Doctor Who, having appeared under layers of prosthetics and make-up in Series 12, provided the voice of the Mechanoid Queen for animated Time Lord Victorious series Daleks!, and playing the recurring role of Rani Chandra from series two of The Sarah Jane Adventures. Would that preclude the Vigil and Bodyguard star from stepping behind the TARDIS console in the top role? Nah.

Sophie Okonedo

Played: Elizabeth X of The United Kingdom aka Liz 10 of Starship UK. Appeared in: Series 5 episodes ‘The Beast Below’ and ‘The Pandorica Opens’. One of our finest actors, Sophie Okonedo not only played the future queen opposite Matt Smith and Karen Gillan in Doctor Who, she was also the voice of the Shalka Doctor’s companion in the BBC’s ‘Scream of the Shalka’ animated webcast, way back when. She’s currently starring in Amazon’s Wheel of Time adaptation and voices the key role of angel Xaphania in His Dark Materials, so probably has too full a plate to step into the TARDIS, but casting her as the Doctor would be a no-brainer.

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Tom Riley

Played: Robin Hood. Appeared in: 2014 Series 8 episode written by Mark Gatiss ‘Robot of Sherwood’. Tom Riley played a legendary genius and multi-hyphenate over three seasons of Da Vinci’s Demons so taking on the role of the Doctor wouldn’t really be a stretch. The actor is currently playing Augie in HBO/Sky drama The Nevers, which started life as a Joss Whedon-created supernatural fantasy before the showrunner left the project after the first six episodes.

Danny Sapani

Played: Colonel Manton/Runaway (depending on your perspective). Appeared in: Series 6 episode ‘A Good Man Goes to War’. The River Song/Melody Pond revelation overshadowed much else that happened in ‘A Good Man Goes to War’, but nonetheless, seasoned Brit actor Danny Sapani made an impression as enemy of the Doctor, Colonel Manton, who conspired with Madame Kovarian to kidnap Amy and Rory’s baby. Sapani’s enjoying a long career on screen and stage, with stand-out TV roles in Penny Dreadful, Harlots and Killing Eve, as well as the upcoming part of Captain Jacob Keyes in video game adaptation Halo.

Amit Shah

Played: Rahul, brother to missing person Asha Chandra, both victims of Tzim-Sha. Appeared in: The Series 11 opener ‘The Woman Who Fell to Earth‘. A skilled comedic actor who has a habit of stealing scenes, even in serious supporting roles like this one, or last year’s turn as a doctor experimenting on children in His Dark Materials, Amit Shah would be a great surprise to find in the TARDIS. Experienced but not yet a household name, there’s a Matt Smith vibe about this one. Revive him as a companion, at the very least?

Peter Serafinowicz

Played: the voice of alien warlord The Fisher King (though the character’s screams were provided by Slipknot front man Corey Taylor). Appeared in: Series 9 episode ‘Before the Flood‘. Likely not the photo of Peter Serafinowicz his Nan keeps on the mantelpiece, this is the villain he voiced in a Series 9 two-parter. It’s Serafinowicz out of the make-up and prosthetics though, who’d make an intriguing prospect as the Doctor. Great voice(s), great face, serious presence, humour, loads of experience… what else do you need?

Nina Sosanya

Played: Trish Webber, mother of Chloe Webber, the little girl endowed with the psychic powers of an Isolus. (And in Big Finish audio adventure ‘Aquitaine’ Captain Maynard’). Appeared in: Series 2 Olympics episode ‘Fear Her‘. A regular RTD collaborator, with previous roles in Casanova and Wizards Vs Aliens as well as Doctor Who, Nina Sosanya is a joy to see in any cast, which must be why she’s (thankfully) in everything. She’s great in comedy (Good Omens, WIA, Staged, Nathan Barley) and in drama (Last Tango in Halifax, Killing Eve, His Dark Materials, Little Birds) and would no doubt make a very convincing centuries-old two-hearted big-brained Time Lord. Get her a statement coat and get her in the TARDIS.

Meera Syal

Played: Dr Nasreen Chaudhry, the scientist in charge of an ill-fated deep drilling mission in a Welsh village. (As well as voicing audio stories and audiobook Borrowed Time). Appeared in: Series 5 two-parter ‘The Hungry Earth’ and ‘Cold Blood‘. Actor-writer-comedian Meera Syal, CBE, had a fair crack of the whip in Series 5 Silurian two-parter, but would always, always be welcome back for more. As well as comedic talent, she has the dramatic presence, brains and stature to play the Doctor. Her husband Sanjeev Bhaskar (see above) will just have to fight her for the role.

Joivan Wade

Played: Bristol graffiti artist Christopher Riggens aka Rigsy. Appeared in: Series 8’s ‘Flatline’ and Series 9’s ‘Face the Raven‘. Joivan Wade is currently starring as Victor Stone in Doom Patrol for the MCU, so it may be a while before he returns to the UK, but his two appearances in Doctor Who proved him to be a charismatic talent who’d energise the TARDIS if welcomed back.

Harriet Walter

Played: British Technology Secretary and later, Prime Minister Jo Patterson. Appeared in: Series 12’s ‘Revolution of the Daleks‘ (as well as voicing the role of Beatrice in audio story ‘The Boy That Time Forgot’). Having a Dame in the TARDIS would be quite something; that Dame being Harriet Walter would be off the charts brilliant. Just look at her – the face, the voice, the hard-to-define quality that means the moment she opens her mouth, everybody shuts up and listens. Harriet Walter, stage and screen star of Killing Eve, Succession, The Crown, Downton Abbey and so much more, would make a very fine Doctor indeed.

Marc Warren

Played: Elton Pope, co-founder member of LINDA, a group of humans who meet to swap stories on their encounters with the Doctor. Appeared in: Little-loved Series 2 episode ‘Love & Monsters‘. A very familiar face on British screens, with regular roles in hits including Hustle, Mad Dogs, The Good Wife and The Musketeers, there’s always been something about Marc Warren that makes you think he’d make a really great alien. See him as The Gentleman in Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, or Mr Teatime in The Hogfather, and you’ll agree. Top Doctor potential.

Gemma Whelan

Played: the voice of loads of characters for Big Finish audio adventures, but never (yet) on screen. Appeared in: ‘Ninth Doctor Adventures’, ‘Dalek Universe’, ‘Counter-Measures’ and more. Always a treat wherever you find her on screen, actor-comedian Gemma Whelan is best recognised as warrior leader of the Iron Islands, Yara Greyjoy in Game of Thrones but she’s been great in Killing Eve, Gentleman Jack, Upstart Crow, The End of the F***ing World, and recently, a killer episode of Inside No. 9. If Doctor Who is looking for another late-thirties Yorkshire lass to take on the Doctor’s mantle in future, go Whelan or go home.

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Doctor Who Series 13 will air on BBC One and BBC America this autumn.

The post Doctor Who: Previous Guest Stars Who’d Be Great as the New Doctor appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[thatbluegibson]

CH 55

Liz stood at the bottom of the steps while Jack and Owen weaved themselves around Kyle’s legs. She forced a smile when Jack looked to her.

“Daddy’s here!”

“He sure is, buddy!” she chirped, shooting Kyle a glare when Jack wasn’t looking. She pushed away from the wall and headed for the kitchen where she angrily leaned against the farmhouse sink to text Travis. Kyle set the boys in front of the TV and turned on their favorite show then limped into the kitchen where Liz ignored him.

“What, was I supposed to call first?” he asked, his voice bitter and sarcastic.

“Yes, Kyle,” Liz said quietly so the boys wouldn’t hear her, “You’re supposed to call first… or at least fucking knock!” She turned away from the kitchen window and had to grab the counter top to steady herself. She hadn’t noticed from across the dim living room, but now that he was just feet in front of her she could see that he looked awful. His skin was a grayish pall, his eyes were sunken and glazed over, his sandy blonde hair was greasy and his right hand was covered in a filthy bandage. “Are you okay?” she managed, holding her hand to her throat.

“Oh, now you fucking care about me?” he snapped, stumbling forward a bit.

Liz felt a small tingle of fear run up her spine and consciously went into survival mode. “Come upstairs with me,” she said softly, trying to keep herself from shaking. Keep him calm, keep him talking.

He stared at her a moment, taking in her leggings and loose shirt before nodding. Liz let out the breath she was holding and crossed the floor to him, gently taking his crutches and leaning them against the wall. She helped him up the back staircase and into her bright white bedroom, keeping the door behind them open in case the boys needed her. Her mind was racing as she ran the water in her claw foot soaking tub, trying to remember the signs of addiction he had when they had first met. He definitely looked like he had been using, smelled like it too, she thought bitterly. She looked up when he limped into the bathroom, his shirt already gone and pulling at his jeans. Standing to help him before he crashed into her tiled floor, she undressed him with the cold, clinical-like demeanor of a nurse and helped him into the bath. The tattoo Andy had given him years ago of her name spread proudly across his chest, and Liz resisted the sudden urge to trace her fingers over it like she had done so many times before. The script was in Jane Austen’s handwriting that Andy had borrowed from her published journals, due to Liz’s namesake Elizabeth Bennett and it was a gesture that Liz thought was incredibly romantic when she was twenty two. She realized he was watching her and blushed a little, feeling like she had been caught.

“Andy gave me this one when I got out of the hospital,” he said, resting his leg on the side on the tub so she could see the pinup vignette on the side of his calf. “I thought-“

“Kyle…,” she sighed, trying to stop him before he went any further. She hated the tattoo, she hated that he had manipulated one of her oldest friends in order to get it and she hated how she was portrayed in it.

“You don’t like it,” he said miserably.

“It’s not going to fix this,” she said, gesturing between the two of them. She heard her phone chime in the bedroom and moved to get it, but Kyle’s arm shot out of the tub to stop her, holding her arm so tightly that she whimpered.

“Are you with him now?” he pulled her down so that their faces were just inches apart and gripped her arm so tightly that she whimpered.

Liz calculated how much time she had before Travis arrived. She figured he should be there any second and swallowed hard. “Yes,” she whispered, forcing herself to stare him down in spite of the acute fear she felt. She sensed Travis before she heard her front door open, a skill she had acquired over years of wishing he would leave her alone, but now she felt her entire body relax knowing he was nearby. Kyle had just settled his leg back into the tub when she noticed the tiny scabs running up and down his tattooed arms, confirming Liz's fear. She instantly let out a sob, surprising both herself and Kyle.

“Oh, doll…” he released her arm as she kneeled on the floor next to him and covered her face in her hands. “I didn’t know what else to do. I lost everything when you left.”

“Don’t you dare fucking blame her for your bullshit, Kyle,” Travis growled from the doorway. He picked Liz up off the floor and took her to the bedroom, sitting her on the bed. “Call Dave,” he said quietly, moving her hands so he could see her face, “Now.”

Liz nodded and reached for the phone she had left on her pillow, watching as Travis closed the bathroom door behind him. Her phone buzzed in her hand, but she couldn’t bring herself to answer the call. She wanted to pull herself together before she talked to him, calling him in hysterical tears would be cruel.

Travis is here. I’ll call you soon, she hit send on her text to him and tried to fight back another wave of tears. She listened to Travis and Kyle’s muffled argument for a moment, wondering if she should even tell Dave that Kyle was using again. There was nothing he could do from a thousand miles away, so what was the point in scaring him? She could tell him when she saw him again in a couple months, but first she needed to call her lawyer.

*

Dave paced the concrete on his back patio, trying to convince himself that she was fine, she was tough, she could handle this. It was just Kyle, only her ex that had vaguely threatened her the last time he had seen her. Maybe he was misreading the situation at Dan and Sarah’s. Maybe they were fine and he just wanted to see the boys… the tone of her voice when she hung up said otherwise, though. He tried to wait as long as he could for Liz to call him back, but caved and called Travis instead.

“What the fuck is-“

“She just sent me a message. I’m almost there,” Travis sounded calm, maybe a little too calm and hung up.

He felt like he couldn’t breathe, like his chest was pressed in a vice and he ran back through the house, up to the spare room that he had set his kit up in. Tearing through a cardboard box, he found a set of old sticks and began to hammer out a riff that had seemingly come from nowhere. He wasn’t sure how long he had been at it, but he finally broke a stick and stopped long enough to hear his phone ringing.

“Liz?”

“I’m so sorry-,” her voice was shaky, making him panic all over again.

“What happened?”

“I swear I’m a well adjusted-“

“Liz!”

“I just wasn’t expecting him and-“

“Is he still there? Is Travis there?” He heard her take a deep breath and shakily let it out before hearing her sob and then swear.

“Yes, I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I just-“

“Liz, what the fuck is going on?” he finally yelled.

“Shut the fuck up and I’ll tell you!” she shouted back.

Dave leaned against the window sill and dropped his head, listening to her try to compose herself.

“Okay,” she sounded hesitant. “Dave…”

This is it. She’s going back to Kyle and we’re over.

“Kyle is… Travis is putting him in rehab.”

“What?”

“Like, tomorrow. Or today if we can get him in,” she let out a long, relieved breath, “I wasn’t going to tell you because I didn’t want to scare you, but it’ll probably be all over the news, so…”

“Are you and the boys okay?” he squeezed his eyes shut to brace for her answer. Anything could have happened in the half hour Kyle had been there, and Dave had imagined every scenario.

“We’re totally fine. The boys don’t even know.”

“Where is he now?”

“He’s with Travis upstairs.”

“In your room?”

“Yes Dave, in my room,” now she sounded annoyed. “Can we not do this right now?”

He didn’t answer, knowing she was under an insane amount of stress. She could take out her anger on him if that’s what she needed to do.

“I’m so sorry,” she sighed, “It’s a little weird around here right now.”

He heard Travis’ deep voice in the background then Liz tell him to wait.

“I have to go, okay?” her voice was softer, but sad.

No, it’s not okay. “Yeah, okay,” he managed.

“Hey…,” her voice was almost a whisper now, “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Liz. You’re gonna be okay.”

She forced a small laugh as her voice broke. “Promise?”

“I’ll always promise that, Liz.” He heard her choke back a sob.

“I’ll call you in a bit.”

Dave listened to her end the call and tried to calm his breathing. He felt nothing but rage towards Kyle, towards the beast of addiction that kept raising its ugly fucking head in his life over and over again. He threw the broken drum stick as hard as he could across the room and glared at it as it pierced the drywall.

[donotgogentlyintothatgoodnight]

Stranger Places (A stranger things tale) Chapter 11- Candy Milkshakes

Description: Everything changes when Dustin finds his mother’s lifeless body, but he is quickly reminded that he still has family when his older sister comes home. Though she is not the company he wants, can he learn to live with her? Can she readjust to life in Hawkins?

“Never love a wild thing Mr. Bell,” Holly says. “That was Doc’s mistake. He was always lugging home wild things.”

Joyce smiles as she pops another chocolate in her mouth. Breakfast at Tiffany’s was airing on T.V and she never missed it. It was a calm night, the boys were in early and she could relax knowing everyone was home safe.

There’s a knock at the door. She looks up to see Jim waving from the window. She smiles and gets up to let him in. When Joyce open the door though, she is greeted by a bouquet of sunflowers.

She laughs. “You still remember after all this time.”

Jim smiles. “Well you told me enough times, it would be strange if I forgot.”

Joyce playfully hits his chest, accepting the flowers from Hopper. She gives him a hug. “They’re beautiful thank you,” she tells him. “Want to come in? I have chocolate,” she tempted him.

He chuckles. “It’s tempting, but Jane’s waiting for me back home. Wheeler kid got her a box of chocolates I need to give to her too.”

Joyce smiles. “Ooh, okay. Well don’t let me keep you then.”

“Have a good night, Joyce.”

She goes up on her tip toes and gives him a peck on the cheek. “Thanks again for the flowers, Hopper. Drive home safe.”

He tips his hat at her as he walks back to his Chevy.

Joyce closes the door behind her once Jim hops into his car. She sniffs the flowers in her hand and smiles into them, walking to the kitchen to get them a vase.

“Hey kid,” Jim said into the radio. “I’m on my way home. Those carrots better be gone before dessert.”

He smiles when Joyce slipped into his thoughts. This was crazy; he felt like he was seventeen again. He lets out a little chuckle at himself.

A couple miles up the road, Hopper notices a figure on the side of the road. He checks the clock on the radio that tells him its close to midnight. Who was walking around this late at night. The closer he gets to the figure, he realizes its a woman walking. He puts his lights on and drives up to the female.

Jim rolls down the window. “Excuse me m’am? Do you need a ride somewhere?”

The woman looks up to reveal it was Jacqueline. Her eyes were glazed over and puffy and she was shivering. Hoppers brows push to together with concern. “Jackie what are you doing out this late?”

She laughed. “Decided to go feruh little stroll,” she said, her voice laced with sarcasm.

“Hold on,” Hopper tells her, pulling his car over to the side. Before he hops out of the car, he talks into the radio one last time. “Hey kiddo, I know I said I’d be home soon, but something just came up. Eat your veggies, then I have a surprise for you when I do get home.”

Hopper jumps out of his car to find Jackie still walking. He hurries up next to her. “Jackie, stop.” He tells her she doesn’t listen to him. “Jackie, common. It’s Hopper. Just stop for a minute,” he says grabbing her shoulder. 

“I told you,” she began, tripping a little when she twirled around to face him. “I decided t’ go feruh walk. I don’ wanna talk about it!”

That’s when he smelled the alcohol on her breath. “Are you drunk?” he asked her in a serious tone. “Have you been drinking tonight?”

She scoffs at him. “Water you going to do? Tell my mom?” She threatened him, but her face fell. She wished he could tell on her. 

Jim’s face softened as well as he watches a few tears start to stream down her cheeks. He knew Jackie, she was bubbly and smart and kind and didn’t do stupid things like get drunk and start walking around by herself in the middle of the night. This wasn’t the Jackie he remembered; something was wrong.

“Kid, what happened?” he asked her in a gentle voice. She wiped a few tears. “I came back to Hawkins,” she tells him. “Was a mistake.”

“What about Dustin? He needs you.”

She shakes her head. “Dustin d-d-doesn’t like me anymore. Town hates me too. T-t-t-they treat me like a f-f-f-freak show.” She let out an unsteady breath.

Hopper frowned, taking off his jacket and pulling it around her shoulders. “Come on, Jackie. Lets get some ice cream, sober you up a little.”

The bell on the door of the arcade rang, as Dustin and Kimmy walked out and Keith locked the doors behind them. Dustin couldn’t believe the time he was having. He was never out this late, let alone with a girl.

“I told you I’d kick your ass!” Kimmy cheered. “That game is a piece of cake once you get the hang of it.”

Dustin chuckled. “Yeah, piece of cake,” he agreed, even though he knew very well how many hours he’s wasted trying to defeat the last level.

Kimmy let out an airy sigh as she turned around to face Dustin. “So, what’s next?”

“Sorry?”

“What are we doing now?” Kimmy asked.

Dustin eyes darted around. He hadn’t planned anything else. It was also getting extremely late for a school night. “How about I walk you home?”

Kimmy pouted. “No that’s okay. My mom is coming to get me soon anyway,” she told him declining the offer.

Dustin shrugged. “We can go for a little walk around the block then?”

She smiled. “That sounds nice. We can talk!”

Dustin gave her a wide smile. “Yeah!”

She put her hand out for his. This was new. Dustin took her hand, unsure of himself. They turned the corner towards Hawkin’s oldest building that was a 24/7 pharmacy that served milkshakes and sunday’s no matter how late. Dustin’s smile faded when he saw a familiar face staring out the window. Her eyes were puffy and her skin was pale. She looked so sad and hopeless. Dustin waves at Jackie when her gaze meets his. She half heartedly waves back at him before quickly diverting her stare somewhere new. 

“Do you know her?” Kimmy asks, still holding onto Dustin’s hand.

“Yeah,” he replies. “That’s my sister.”

Kimmy looks at her as well, and frowns. “She looks sorta sad.”

Dustin’s heart sank into his stomach.

“Hey Eddy, two of those candy bar shakes please,” Hopper tells the man behind the counter as he leans against the other side. He turns to check on Jackie, who seems to have fallen into some sort of trance. He sighs, as he walks over to take the seat across from hers. 

“You’ve had one of Eddy’s shakes before right? I used to bring one for you and Sarah when you would babysit,” He tells her, but she continues to stare out the window, without a word. “You’re in for a treat. Eddy’s got these candy bar shakes now that are to die for.”

Jackie doesn’t move when the shake is placed in front of her. Jim decides to try a different subject. “So I heard you’re working at Cindy’s? How do you like it there so far?”

She directs her attention down to the table and shrugs. Hopper takes his hat off and scratches his scalp. “Listen, Jackie. You gotta give me something to work with,” he says in a low voice. “What’s been going on? What happened tonight that got you upset?” 

Jackie’s demeanor changed to nervous, too embarrassed of her actions and decision making that evening. 

“Did you go out with someone tonight?” Jim began to pry. Jackie nodded.

“Did they hurt you?” Tears began to form as Jackie furiously shook her head from side to side.

Hopper heaves a sigh, “But they hurt you.” He nods his head at her. “I get it.”

Jackie sniffles as she wipes her face with the sleeve of her sweater. She felt like all she did lately was cry and it was becoming exhausting.

Jim looks down at his shake. He swirls the spoon in it a few times. “Sweets make everything a little more tolerable. They remind you that even though life might not be easy at the moment, you can always eat your feelings,” and with that, Hopper takes a heaping spoonful and pops it in his mouth.

Jackie looks up at him and snorts. She giggles and Hopper smiles. “There she is. Where have you been Jack attack?”

She shakes her head and lets out another laugh. Hopper sighs. “These people don’t deserve you Jackie. Just remember that. You’re remarkable.”

Her smile faded, as if she didn’t agree with what he was telling her. She picked up her spoon and stirred the milkshake, preparing to eat her feelings.

Hope you all enjoyed this little interaction between Jackie and Hopper. There will be more of them in the future. Next week, I will be going to a festival so please don’t hate me if I forget to post. But there will be plenty of chapters coming this summer so stay tuned!

@10blurredsmoke10 @prettylittlealiengirl @dII0101 @lewistommolommodingdong @cluelesseleven @middlebodyinjury @liamsmithbobo @oddlittlereader @dizyumi @saint-penguin-empire@whysthenameelizapopular @25thcenturygirl @lilias-buckingham@12thatsanumber @julkaglenc @peakyfuckingblinders1919 @lmao-im-hecc-gay @suavelolita

[your-brother-crutchie]

Different Now

A sequel to Domestic.

I’m sorry that this is so long after that fic, I just do my requests in the order that I get them and I had plenty to fill in between these. I’m not sure if this is what you wanted but, you know?

TW: Mentions of Domestic Abuse

Whilst Snow White played almost quietly in the background, Jack watched Crutchie as though he would never take his eyes off him again. His fingers drifted lazily over Crutchie’s forearm, holding him lightly against his body whilst trying desperately not to hurt him; he just couldn’t risk it. Crutchie had only just been let out of hospital ten days before and Jack didn’t want to be too rough with him.

Although Crutchie was watching the film, it was his favourite, after all, Jack couldn’t tear his eyes away from the way that Crutchie held his hands, clasped together, to his chest. He never used to sit like that.

Medda had told Jack something that made him worry and he couldn’t get it out of his mind. He knew that Crutchie wouldn’t want him worry but he didn’t exactly know what he expected him to do. There was no way that Jack wasn’t worrying about him, he’d have worried about anyone if their boyfriend was an abusive arsehole like Will. Crutchie was very lucky to be pretty much fine, just badly bruised and having to be slightly more mindful of his leg than normal, and all Jack could think of was what else could be wrong.

Since Crutchie had came home from the hospital, Jack had been hyper aware of everything that Crutchie had done. That included how much he was moving around Jack’s apartment, where he was staying, but also every time he shifted when they were sat together and Jack felt his downy hair brushing his cheek.

Jack spoke before thinking, regretting it as soon as the words left his mouth, “Crutchie, can I ask you something?” Crutchie, however, didn’t seem too bothered as he only made a quiet humming noise in response, “ . . . I- uhhh. Do you think you’re different now?” He felt Crutchie stiffen a little as he spoke before thinking, seeing his eyes flash  to the remote sitting on Jack’s arm of the sofa and taking the hint to pause the film. He pulled himself up as Crutchie shuffled to face him.

He rubbed almost nervously at his eye, obviously uncomfortable as Jack watched him dedicatedly, “What?” Crutchie’s voice was quiet, almost distant, as his eyes scattered everywhere but Jack���s face.

“You know Medda’s sister? You met her at that wedding?” When Crutchie nodded, Jack took a deep breath before continuing, “Well, she was in this really bad relationship with this arsehole and Medda always says she’s a lot different now, quieter. She says that I shouldn’t push you because you’re probably different, too.” Jack cringed away as soon as Crutchie began shuffling awkwardly.

Crutchie sighed and positioned himself directly opposite Jack on the sofa, pulling his legs up to his chest, “Oh.”

A turgid silence surrounded the boys for a moment as Jack tried to think of how he could respond to that. Eventually finding something to say, Jack threaded his words together in his head before letting go of them, “Are you? Different?” He was only half-way through what he’d had planned when realised that he’d only managed the most important words.

Thinking for a moment, Crutchie tilted his head to the side, chewing at the inside of his lip. Jack could see that he was thinking, actually considering the question, and that worried Jack, “I don’t think so.” If he’d been fine, he would have known. He shouldn’t have been fine, anyway.

Instead of listening to his own thoughts, Jack just decided to go with Crutchie because it was easier. His grin poked at his dimples immediately as he let all of his relief out in one breath, “Thank god.” Jack instinctively reached to grab Crutchie’s hand, the way that he’d always used to, moving quickly around him for the first time since he’d brought him home. His fingers had barely brushed the back of Crutchie’s hand when it happened.

Crutchie flinched back drastically, a tired yelp throwing itself between them as Crutchie clutched his hand to his chest once again. They were still for a second, Crutchie’s eyes, wide and scared and boring into Jack as if he’d just slapped him, eventually settled as he realised that it was just Jack. Quickly, however, when Crutchie realised what he’d just done, that entire process reversed as his body tensed and he turned to face the paused tv as though he could actually still watch the film.

“Charlie-“

“No, just- just leave it.”

The music wasn’t loud and, yet, Jack could still barely hear himself think. Spot and Race had decided to cram everyone into their apartment for a party and the Twister mat was taking up most of the floor space so those that weren’t playing just had to loiter around the room.

Jack and Crutchie had managed to grab the biggest sofa to themselves, lucky to be seated at all, and were just watching the game. They sat, Crutchie’s back to the arm of the chair and facing Jack, with Jack’s hand lying loosely over his foot.

Beside the bookcase, Davey and Darcy were talking about one of the books that they’d both read recently; at the start of their second year in university, they’d set up a book club together. The only thing was that they often fought about which books they should read because they had very different tastes. Darcy preferred Pride and Prejudice and Jane Austen, whilst Davey preferred 1984 and George Orwell. As expected, their ‘discussion’ was beginning to grow into an argument.

Hawk, Bee, and Mouse had managed to claim the floor space behind the Twister mat, occasionally spinning the disk for the group too busy tangling themselves into a knot in the centre of the room. They were chatting quietly in sign language, occasionally breaking into words when they didn’t know the sign but doing a pretty good job. Jack was impressed. Hawk had only been learning for a few months and the others had picked it up quickly. Spot had explained that it was easier for Hawk to learn sign language than to constantly try to read lips.

Speaking of the terrible host, Spot and Race were far too busy for their guests. They were making out on the armchair beside the window, their kitten, Anya, safely nestled in Race’s lap as Spot leaned over him. It was clear that they were both intoxicated, Spot more so than Race. For a start, Spot was the one with the vodka bottle in his hand and he would never have kissed Race in front of everyone, especially not like that, if he was sober.

Watching from across the kitchen island, Jojo and Sarah laughed every time Laces wobbled and crashed into Albert, almost sending the whole Finch and Red tumbling too yet somehow managing to regain his balance every time. Katherine had been with them but she’d picked up Spot’s camera and was going around filming the night. Most of them were far too drunk to remember anything the next morning and Jack had a feeling that she was on the way there herself. She probably wasn’t trying to embarrass them, just keep some kind of memory of Spot’s birthday.

Crutchie had been trying to get Jack involved in Twister since Albert’s had come running away from the cupboard, holding the box above his head and screaming that it was finally his time to win. Jack was the reigning Twister champion, he took part in every game and he hadn’t lost since Romeo had handed him his title when he went to study in England. However, Jack refused to leave Crutchie’s side. He simply didn’t want to leave him alone, especially when it was quite obvious that Crutchie was quieter than usual. Crutchie didn’t need him but that didn’t mean that Jack wouldn’t go out of his way to make sure that he was okay.

A few weeks after Crutchie had come back from the hospital, Jack had noticed that he was slowly getting back to himself. He was opening up when they hung out with the others again and he hardly jumped when Jack touched him anymore. It wasn’t fine but it was better.

Jack snapped the spaghetti, dropping it into the pan of boiling water as Crutchie carefully pushed the baking tray with the garlic bread on into the oven. They were cooking dinner for Medda, who was coming over soon, so they’d decided to make the first thing that Medda had ever taught Jack how to cook. It was quick and it was simple and Jack still hadn’t learnt how to make much else.

Once they’d settled against the kitchen counters for the minute or two that they could relax before Medda came over, Jack suddenly looked over at Crutchie and had that familiar wave of longing, “Crutchie, can I ask you something?” He’d been pushing it away for so long, wanting to put Crutchie’s feelings before his own.

Sighing, Crutchie pushed himself off the counter so that he could stand up straight and face Jack. He rubbed his thumb over the scrap of blanket he’d tied around the handle of his crutch nervously, trying not to look at Jack, “Jack, I don’t want-“

“It’s not about that, not again. I just- I wanted to ask if you wanted to get coffee or something, sometime?” Jack almost let his words run into each other, nerves getting the better of him as he reached across the small kitchen to take Crutchie’s hand in his own and stroke the back of it. He didn’t want him to be uncomfortable so he wanted to make sure that he was calm.

Surprise practically dripping from his features, Crutchie stared up at him as his mouth fell open slightly. Jack drew his bottom lip between his teeth, ready to be rejected and ready for Crutchie to walk out and stay with Davey down the hall, “Oh! Um. O- Okay.”

What he got instead was much more surprising. For some reason, Jack had never expected Crutchie to agree. He couldn’t hide it anymore so he’d had to let it out but he’d expected Crutchie to hate him for it. With nothing else to say, Jack just pulled his eyes away from Crutchie’s hand, a wide smile painted from ear to ear when he saw Crutchie’s sheepish grin.

After getting coffee, Jack took Crutchie for a walk through Central Park. They clutched their takeout cups tightly as the cold air whistled around them, pushing Crutchie’s hair forward, onto his forehead, and making Jack fall in love with him all over again.

When they reached the fountain, Jack took his Crutchie’s hand and led him over to sit on the ledge, fishing a coin out of his pocket and making eye contact with Crutchie as he kissed it before tossing it into the water, “What was that for?” Crutchie’s tilted expression and confused eyes made Jack smile as he just shrugged gently. He knew what he was wishing for, Crutchie would only call him sappy if he told him.

They sat together quietly for a while, huddled beside each other to keep warm and trying not to move too much in case their knocked the other’s drink. For a while they were peaceful, until all hell broke loose.

Crutchie saw him first. He looked up from where he was blushing at his own feet after Jack had taken his hand carefully in his own. His eyes flared in panic, fear flooding them for only a second before they hardened to ice. Will stood over the pair, a cruel scowl hiding his eyes and the person he’d pretended to be when they’d first met him. He reached for Crutchie, making it look like he was trying to take his hand when, in fact, he was deliberately prising it away from his crutch.

“Hey, hands off!” As soon as Jack had noticed him, he launched forward and shoved Will’s shoulder, pushing him so that he couldn’t touch Crutchie at all. He pulled himself up as tall as possible, still barely reaching Will’s chin though not letting that stop him. Crutchie was nowhere near as tall as him and he’d put up with it for months.

Reaching out to pull Jack away, Crutchie stood and positioned himself directly in front of Will, “Jack, I’ve got this.” Jack’s eyes widened as he saw Crutchie cower for a moment until his body steeled itself. He smiled when he saw that flare of courage, the way Crutchie clenched his jaw and held his hands in closed fists, “Who the fuck do you think you are? How dare you even think about coming anywhere near me? If you ever lay a hand on me again, I will crack my crutch over your fucking skull!”

Will glanced between Jack and Crutchie as he started backing away slightly. He glared at Jack angrily, spitting at his feet after seeing a small crowd watching them and obviously deciding that it wasn’t quite worth it.

Just watching him go, Jack shook his head in disbelief before turning to Crutchie with a proud smile, “Shit, Crutch, you did it!” He let out a wild bark of laughter before grabbing Crutchie and hugging him tightly, happy when he didn’t yelp. He hadn’t really thought about approaching him slowly but he was so proud when Crutchie accepted it and hugged him back.

After pulling away from the hug, Crutchie just watched after Will, offering tight smiles to the people watching them curiously. Jack could tell that he was shaking but there was something else. A new sense of self. A new sense of calmness. Almost as if confronting him had closed some doors left open, “Yeah. I did it.”