#don’t have the attachment. I haven’t technically seen it. or even if I have I have not been invested in it

[the-somwthing]

Someone will be like “which hermitship do you prefer scarian or ethubs” and I’ll be like “hmm well I really- ohh wait you said hermitship? Sorry I don’t know them very well”

[sunnys-out]

One for the road | Alex Morgan x Reader

Part 2 of Your damn cherry chapstick

A/N: Again we are going to, again, pretend that voicemails can be this long lol. Tech at work stopped working so was able to write this.

Warnings: Internalized homophobia, slight nsfw, not a happy ending

WC: 684

*Ring*

“Hey sorry I missed your call, just leave me a message and I’ll get back to you when I can! Bye!”

“Hey (y/n), this isn’t technically a text…but you will probably not even listen to this. So, I guess I’ll just say what I need to say for my own sake.”

Pause

“I remember the first time that I had met you…you were way too excited that morning practice…I was not. laughs Then we got paired up for drills and I could barely keep up with you…I don’t think you even broke a sweat”

Pause

“You were one of the few that had class after practice while the rest of us headed back to Clark Kerr to shower and sleep a bit longer. I made an off-hand comment as we were going our separate ways. I had seen a vendor near our dorm on the weekend selling strawberries and wondered when they would be back so I could buy myself some”

Pause

“I didn’t think about it until that evening…you knocked on my door with a small,green basket filled with strawberries. Honestly, I didn’t expect it especially from you...I mean we had just met. You just took one from the basket and took a bite, ‘just one for road as payment’ you said to me with a wink as you walked away to your room down the hall”

Pause

“I think that is when I started to fall in love with you…yeah I loved you…I probably still do…no, I still do. Sigh You became my best friend and I don’t ever think I can be as close to someone as I was with you. When we had our first kiss in the hallway of the frat house celebrating our win against Stanford…I swear I didn’t taste the tequila that you drank earlier but the strawberry you had the day we met.”

Pause

“I fell harder for you every day but I got scared…when you introduced me to Servando…I saw an easier future. You were everything I dreamed of but my career was just starting…I was becoming a poster child and the world is better but- I- sacrificed everything I had with you to have everything I have now. I hurt you I know…it hurts me knowing that. The Gala, I left you the moment I saw the recruiters, my fear came back again and I attached myself to Servando. You would be ok without me was my thought; you didn’t need me…Portland was smart to take you when they got created”

Pause

“(Y/N), I didn’t realize how much what I did affected you until you got injured for the first time in Portland. The eyes you shot at me when I approached you in the physio room to check on you. The force that you used to pushed me away, ‘Don’t fucking touch me’ keeps playing in my head when I remember that day. I really lost my best friend”

Pause

“You said that you remember the way I-...I remember those times too…I haven’t forgotten that. You were more than that to me. That last time…it was a goodbye but I just wanted to be close to you again to just be around you. I wanted to be near you when you had your career ending injury with Portland. That’s not what I did. I kept my distance when I saw you go down and from then on I kept myself from you.” 

Pause

“I did listen to your voicemail if it isn’t obvious…I’m sorry…You’re right when you say that I would think to run back to you if you showed up at the wedding…but it would only be a thought. I’m still that scared university student, fearful for her future but so in love with her best friend. You don’t deserve what I am doing to you, so this will be my last message to you ok? I love you and even if I won’t be in your life anymore…I will always be rooting for you…maybe in the next life we-... never mind. Goodbye, (y/n)”

…

[marlena-immortale]

A Valentine’s Night In

(I’m sorry it’s so late it’s not even February anymore 😭)

Summary: You and Vic celebrate Valentine’s Day with a new toy.

CW: SMUT, facesitting, paddle spanking, thigh riding

Word Count: 1.5k

Masterlist ⭐️ Taglist ⭐️ Kofi

Can’t wait to see you tonight baby! I have a surprise waiting for you ;)

This is the text you woke up to this morning. You’ve spent all 10 hours since receiving it trying to decipher what your girlfriend Vic meant by that, and now that you’re walking up to the front door, you’ll finally be able to find out. 

“Heyy! Happy Valentine’s Day!” Vic greets you at the door, pulling you in to kiss you immediately. When she finally lets you go to step into the house, you can properly appreciate how adorable she looks dressed all comfy in her sweatpants and tank top.

“Since you’ve been so busy lately, I wanted to treat you for Valentine’s Day but everything just seemed to go wrong in planning it, so this is all we’re getting today,” Vic says, leading you into the living room, referencing the various takeout containers on the coffee table. 

“That’s totally okay, I’m just happy I get to spend it with you,” you say, leaning in to give her another quick kiss before sitting on the couch to dig in. 

“I appreciate you putting so much thought into it though,” you tell her between bites of the noodles she got from your favorite chinese food place.

“Well, there’s still one thing I know that can make up for it with,” Vic says with an over dramatic wink before eating another bite of noodles. 

— — — 

After finishing your food, Vic is already attached to you with her arms encasing you and her head resting on your shoulder. 

“You’re so cute when you’re clingy,” you say, looking down at her pretty face and stroking her soft hair. 

“And you’re sweet, but I haven’t seen you in a while and I’m impatient and really wanna show you your surprise now.” She drags you up off the couch and leads you, giggling with a smirk on her face, to the bedroom. 

You’ve missed your girlfriend. And seeing all the sexy selfies she’s tortured you with in your time apart has made you want her even more. So when she kisses you all the way to the bedroom, you’re happy to let her take the lead and push you down to sit in the bed. 

“So I know we said no gifts this year,” she pauses for you to give her the exact look she knows you’ll give her for disregarding the no-gift policy this year. “But, I found a loophole because this is technically a gift for both of us.”

She opens a drawer and brings out a red gift bag with pink tissue paper and places it on your lap. You remove the paper to pull out the gift and find a small black and red leather paddle with a big heart cut out of the center. You hold it in your hands for a moment, feeling the leather and imagining the feeling of it on other parts of your body. 

“We totally don’t have to use it if you’re not comfortable, but I think it could be fun to try it out together,” Vic says, letting you continue to analyze the toy.  

“Yeah, of course I’m down to try this with you. Sounds fun.” 

Vic smiles and takes the paddle out of your hands, setting it aside. “Yay! Okay, your turn first. Take your clothes off.”

“Damn Vic, that was quick,” you tease but start removing your shirt anyway, just as excited to get naked with your girlfriend as she is. 

“Well would you prefer if I took your clothes off for you,” she says, stroking your neck at the edge of your shirt. 

“You know what, yes I do,” you tell her, letting her strip you. She quickly pulls off all of your clothes while kissing and stroking your body, getting you all worked up and impatient in the process. You get so distracted by her affection that you barely notice she’s taking her own clothes off as well. 

She takes your hand and guides you up, positioning you to bend over the edge of the bed with your legs apart, taking a step back to get a good look at your body.

“Damn you look so sexy like this,” she comments, running her hand over your back. Knowing she has the perfect view of your pussy from this position makes you feel both turned on and a little embarrassed. 

You take a deep breath before feeling the cool leather running against your warm skin as Vic lets you get used to the sensation. She only gives you one more breath to get ready before giving you the first spank with the paddle. It’s a sharp sting but not too painful. 

Each slap hurts slightly more than the last hits on sore skin and after a few, she’s got your hips squirming around and hands grabbing the sheets from both the pain and the heat slowly concentrating in your pussy. 

“It leaves such pretty red heart shaped marks on your ass,” she says with a kiss to your warm sensitive ass. “Can I try something else?” 

“Yes,” you whine, “please.” You try to get your breathing back to normal while Vic places her hand on your back and pushes your body into the bed to keep you from moving around. You don’t know exactly what to expect but all your thoughts are put to rest as you feel the sting of the paddle sharply against your pussy. 

“How was that?” she asks, gauging your reaction. It’s a painful shock but an unexpected thrill that you want to experience again. 

“It felt kinda…good? Like I think I want more,” you say, trying to figure out your feelings for yourself. 

“Ohh, okay baby. My little masochist,” Vic teases you while winding up the paddle to hit your pussy again, and again, and again until it’s sensitive and starting to swell. Even though you feel like you could go for more, she stops when tears start forming at the corners of your eyes. 

“Hey, you okay honey?” she asks, putting the paddle down and stroking your cheek.

“Mhm, I’m okay. I really enjoyed that actually,” you respond. “But it’s your turn now my love.” You stand up, getting used to the soreness, and push Vic over onto the bed in the position you were just in. It only takes a few hits to get Vic moaning and squirming over the pretty red hearts left on her ass cheeks. 

“This is fun and all, but I wasn’t kidding when I said I’m impatient and I need to fuck you now,” Vic says, standing up and repositioning you both further onto the bed with her leaning back against a pillow at the head of the mattress and you kneeling by her side. “C’mere,” she says, gesturing for you to straddle her. “Closer.” She pulls your legs in to wrap around the sides of her head. 

You lower yourself and place your sensitive pussy onto her soft pretty lips, feeling your legs get weak almost immediately. You brace your arms on the wall in front of you and Vic’s hands start pushing and pulling at your hips to rock your clit against her lips. The warm feeling in your pussy radiates throughout your body and your hips move on their own, grinding down harder onto Vic’s mouth. Her tongue switches between licking into your pussy and stroking softly at your clit. 

The paddle slaps from earlier have made your pussy so sensitive you can feel yourself getting closer quickly. It’s only a matter of a few more swipes of her tongue to set you off and get you grabbing at the headboard for stability as you try not to let your legs completely give out from the strength of your orgasm. 

Vic barely lets you recover at all before sitting up and repositioning you. “I know I may have worn you out a little, but I have an idea,” she says, propping your tired body up to rest on the pillow while she straddles your thigh. 

“Just stay still baby, I’ll do all the work I promise,” she tells you, knowing exactly the effect she has on you. She places her hands on your shoulders and starts grinding her pussy on your upper thigh, moving higher and higher on each stroke. Her hips grind down on your hard and you try to use the strength you have left to push your thigh up against her to give her more pressure to rub against. She shifts even closer to you and her knee that’s resting between your legs starts rubbing lightly against your pussy and it’s still so sensitive but feels so good. Her legs quickly start shaking and her upper body falls onto yours. You guide her head to your neck so you can feel her breath on your skin and hear her soft moans in your ear. You grab her hips to help her grind on you when she gets too shaky until she falls apart in your arms, moaning so prettily. 

“Fuuck, that was amazing baby, I love you so much,” Vic says, slowly rawling off of you only to cuddle up at your side. 

“Yeah but you’re always amazing,” you reply, pulling her closer. “Happy Valentine’s Day my love.”

[yumecel]

the slowest death 💙

yandere!dabi/reader | 1.6k

summary: you didn’t even think the PLF would bother tracking you down. one member proves you wrong

character specifics: slightly ooc for fic purposes i suppose

reader specifics: gn reader

world specifics: probably a far longer gap from dabis video to the war arc than is canon? sorry for any inaccuracies of living under the PLF i wasnt paying attention

tws: stalking, mention of murder via burning, dabi being a creep

a/n: christening this blog with the man thats been driving me wild recently. im so rusty! please forgive me

——💙——

i promise i’m 18+, i promise i’m okay with seeing dark content, i know this will haunt me in the world to come should i lie [yes⬇️] [no↩️]

You can’t stop seeing him.

Skulking into street corners, under flickering lamps, your peripheral vision, all permeated with the silhouette of a man you only expect to see on screens. When you close your eyes, he persists as an afterimage. Blue eyes burn into yours.

You’ve been having trouble sleeping.

Sometimes you lock yourself in your bathroom to watch that video of him, Dabi- now confirmed as Touya Todoroki. You drag your laptop with you and you search up information about him, trying to keep track of his current movements to confirm your suspicions. It feels like there’s eyes everywhere. It feels like he’s everywhere.

It’s not like you haven’t seen him up close before. You think that’s why this is probably happening. Months prior, under the direction of the Paranormal Liberation Front, you’d used your quirk on him- you’d cupped his cheek gently and allowed the soothing water to roll over it, clearing away a minor burn that was nothing compared to the rest of his scars. You remember it vividly because he closed his eyes. That’s not the issue, many people do, but you almost couldn’t believe the expression of tranquility that crossed his face. On the screens, in leaked footage, Dabi often presents himself with a chilling calmness or a maniacal grin. The total relaxation of his features and the removal of defences was foreign. And when it happened, you’d observed closely. Every piercing, every staple, every mark. You just happen to like observing the effects of your quirk on other people, and Dabi was no exception. When it was over, he’d murmured something barely discernible as a “thanks” and walked off. You thought his back would be the last you’d see of him in person, save for a few brief appearances with other PLF members. But he kept coming back to you, minor burn after minor burn, cut, scrape, bruise. He hardly ever talked, but he was so bold. He laid his head in your lap and there was an unspoken understanding that taking advantage of this vulnerability would result in dire consequences for you. Dabi always ensured his absolute privacy before settling down, and you believe you became something of a refuge for him. But you didn’t think there was anything special about you save for convenience, and you certainly had more “regulars” than just him. Dabi didn’t appear to be particularly attached to you as a person so much as your quirk.

Your clientele eventually died, perhaps literally, perhaps they just stopped coming after finding another healer, leaving only Dabi asking for your services. To make money and a future, you had to move, and you did so quickly and without fanfare. You were planning to leave that chapter of your life behind entirely.

But Dabi keeps haunting you.

You think you’re wrong. You should be wrong. You don’t know if you’re wrong.

It’s true that you’re technically on the run from the PLF, but you didn’t believe they would be particularly keen to expend effort on tracking you down. You are after all, only a healer, and have no specific abilities to boost other quirks. Quirks that soothe others can be found everywhere and you doubt they’d struggle tracking down more like them, and there’s already an abundance of regular doctors at their fingertips. Your ability to both soothe and heal is something that can be replaced easily enough.

Put simply, the costs of capturing you far outweigh the costs of letting you run free. The PLF knows they manage secrecy fairly well. They have nothing to worry about.

So when Dabi started lurking around the edges of your vision, you thought-

“They’re going to make an example of me.”

That could be the only reason. Being killed by Dabi is complete overkill. Your quirk may involve water but you don’t stand a chance against quelling his flames. There would be no epic fight, and you’re fully aware that engaging with him would lead to your death within five minutes. That’s if he grants you the mercy of a quick death. There’s nothing holding him back from prolonging your suffering for hours, even days. You shudder every time you think about it, a million ways he could kill you flashing before your eyes.

He doesn’t kill you quite yet. He’s toying with you.

The inside of your shabby apartment starts looking substantially shabbier. He must be letting himself in regularly. Somehow, somehow he has obtained a key, and now he’s snooping around. You accept that death awaits… for the first week, at least. Perhaps he’ll find you have nothing of interest to the PLF and leave. All you do is keep living as normal, praying some great distraction for him will arise and this will pass. Every day, you show up to work- a small, urban spa where you’re free to offer your services of pain relief under the guise of massage, never disclosing openly that you’re using your quirk. It’s custom to do so if you don’t want to draw attention to yourself, but clients generally know through word-of-mouth that quirks are used. The additional layer of protection was meant to shield you from the PLF, but it all seems useless now.

You can hear your phone buzz as you massage a client’s back. You try to pretend it never happened, and she seems undisturbed. You wonder what it could be, since after clearing your phone very few people have your new contact details. You manage to check it once the client shuffles out the door, thanking you airily.

It’s an email. The subject matter reads, “Hi Sweetheart!”

Spam.

But you still open it.

——————

Subject: Hi Sweetheart!

I really couldn’t resist digging around your laptop today. Imagine how flattered I felt when I saw all your previous searches had to do with me. Curious, are we? I can just imagine your scared little face as you scroll through videos of me, wondering when you’ll see me again. I guess what I found cute is that you have my confession video bookmarked. Did you save it for… personal reasons? You had plenty of time to look at me without a shirt on when you were working. I guess you can’t get enough of me.

But I can’t act like I wouldn’t do the same if you were someone I could just look up online- but I’m a good researcher without the internet. I tracked you down without a lot of effort. And I’ve been learning so much about you recently. So much that I’ve reached a dead end. There are things I need to know about you that wouldn’t be found on your laptop or in your apartment…

Maybe I’ll see you when you get home.

You know who I am.

——————

Feeling sick to your stomach, you scroll up, thumb trembling.

It’s sent from your own email address.

——💙——

You don’t have anywhere to go but your apartment, yet returning to it feels like such a stupid move. The police, let alone pro heroes, hardly go to that part of town. You stay an hour longer at the spa. You hope this will throw off Dabi, allowing you to dive in, grab your stuff, and equip yourself to leave forever. The passiveness that came with being a sitting duck has left your body. Confronted with death, you know it’s time to fight for survival.

Your phone buzzes again.

Another email.

——————

Subject: I won’t hurt you

You think I don’t know where you work? I can just as easily come to you and torch the place. I’m willing to play nice, so don’t insist on being difficult.

——————

A coworker remarks that you look sickly and insists you go home. You nod slowly, not saying much as you start to get ready to leave. When you stumble out of the door, the bell above you sounds like it’s ringing several rooms away. Nothing feels real.

Buzz.

——————

Subject: You can email me too

You know that right?

Still holing yourself up in that spa? Need me to walk you home? Coming home?

——————

You send one to yourself.

——————

Subject: Im on my way

[No body text]

——————

Buzz.

——————

Subject: Good.

[No body text]

——————

——💙——

You don’t bother putting your keys in the door. It opens regardless. With a dry mouth, you swallow, looking around and taking tentative steps further into your apartment.

He deliberately approaches from behind, which you were expecting, but you still yelp out when his warm presence meets your back, arms wrapping around you.

“No ‘Honey, I’m home’?” He snickers. You don’t struggle. You freeze, breath caught in your throat. When he holds you a little tighter, it’s like he pushes you over the edge.

“I’m sorry,” You begin. “I can come back. Are you going to kill me? Please don’t kill me. I can tell you anything you need. I don’t know what I can offer you, if, if you want to stay here, I can-“

He squeezes tighter, making a gentle shushing sound. Your body starts to feel like dead weight. You look down, eyeing the scars on his hands and counting staples in an attempt to ground yourself back in reality.

“It’s not about leaving the PLF, doll. Y’understand?”

You nod frantically, shoulders raising, even if you don’t fully understand. He loosens his hold on you on a little, before coming so close to your ear that you can feel his hot breath.

“It’s about leaving me.”

“Leaving you?” You say, voice barely managing to come out.

“You think I wouldn’t miss my favourite healer?” He croons.

“I…” You begin. “… everyone left. I couldn’t make money and I didn’t have prospects.”

“You’re welcome,” He says, inhaling slightly. “I took care of everyone else.”

“That’s…”

Ominous.

“But you just had to leave, right? Before I snapped you up for myself permanently? Before I got to know you better?”

“I’m- I’m not-“

“Shh, doll. I don’t want those hands on anyone but me from now on. Start packing your necessities and get ready to come home.”

He releases you, causing you to fall to your knees with a dull thud. You were at the mercy of the man behind you.

This, you realised, was the slowest death you could die.

[kindlingkeen]

Heyo Keen, I have come to pester you once again. Your post about the Jason amnesia thing got me thinking about young justice (I started watching it recently, it’s very good) and the whole red hooded ninja plot (rip)

I have no clue if you’ve seen the clips (if you haven’t then: spoilers below)

-

Particularly the bit where he’s fighting Nightwing and there’s this whole moment where he says “Gray…son” and he’s told “your memories are returning”.

Anywho. personally I really loved that whole scene/idea even though it was real small. (Also the red hooded ninja design is banger imo) Just the idea of brothers so close yet not even realizing it & the whole amnesia/catatonic thing where seeing Nightwing helps him remember. Also iirc in this he takes care of Damien? (I’m not that far in the show yet so not 100% on that) which is really sweet. Super looking forward to where it goes if anyone picks up the show again.

Do you prefer the whole amnesia/ninja plot or the pit/Red Hood one? I love both and don’t really have a favourite, but I know some people lean pretty strong towards one or the other.

Hey friend! Please pester away! If it takes me a while to answer your asks, it’s only because I’m giving them serious consideration.

I haven’t seen Young Justice, but I’m vaguely familiar with the red hooded ninja story line via art I’ve come across on tumblr and a few fanfics. There’s one in particular that comes to mind where Ra’s contracts Slade to take over the LoA, and Slade interacts with Jay (I can’t remember the title or author, so if anyone knows what I’m talking about, drop a link so I can tag it properly). The first time I read one of these (without noticing the YJ tag listed in the fandoms), I was like ‘what tf is going on here—ohh, Jay with sword, yeah, okay, let’s do this.’

I am deeply and unhealthily attached to the pit/Red Hood story arc for Jason. It’s the storyline I know best in both the comics, dc alt media, and fandom worlds, and it’s the clearest characterization I have of Jay in my head. Part of my process for writing is to set certain ground truths for myself/the story based on comics canon, and then I build outward from there.

That said, the red hooded ninja concept pushes so many of my buttons, namely Jason being under Talia’s wing, Jason and Damian meeting in the League, Jason as a ninja assassin, Jason with a sword (errghhh it’s all sooo good). I also like the younger Dami/older Jay dynamic. Although, technically one of the alt endings to the A Death in the Family movie was Talia giving Jason baby Damian, so I suppose you could wrap that into a Red Hood storyline.

I’m working my way through the 90s Batman: The Animated Series (it’s my fav ‘it’s 10 pm and I’m too tired to do anything productive so I’m just gonna watch comfort TV’ pick right now). Maybe once I get through that, I’ll move on to YJ. 🙂

Thanks so much for the ask! 💙

[its-a-ittle-bit-cold]

Waves

anakin skywalker x reader (sort of)

ahsoka x reader (sort of)

summary: After a hard battle, It’s left to you to carry a message to two Jedi from your past

a/n: this is sort of a character study of the protagonist - you! it’s also kind of a prologue to a series that will be anakin x reader - more details to come! based off of Dean Lewis’ ‘Waves’.

note: please know that i actually don’t know almost anything about star

warnings: angst, briefs descriptions of canon-typical violence, technically minor character death, mourning, non-canon compliant

There will come a time in your life when you will need to let go, when the galaxy stops shifting and the ground under your feet liquifies, it’s your duty to continue to protect. Continue to serve. 

This is what the code tells us.

This is what your Master would always tell you.  He always was referring to the loss of civilians, the failure of a mission that could have succeeded. You never thought it would apply to losing him.

You arrived at the temple older than most younglings — five years old, feisty and strong, very strong in the ways of the Jedi already.  Back home on Onapesca, The Force was used peacefully, the ways taught to their young. You, however had been unfittingly volatile with your abilities, and so, the Jedi found you. 

With already advanced training, it only took you four years to become eligible to have a master, and were taken on quickly by Master Bosque, a human such as yourself, one of the only Sentinels left in the order.

From the age of nine on, you and Bosque had been attached at the waist.

Even after becoming a knight, you went on missions and outreaches frequently with him, even becoming a Sentinel such as him, although your affinity had always been split between healing, The Force itself and your notable technique for sabers, as demonstrated by the three beads that used to hang on your braid. 

His death came to you like an abrupt ending you always knew would come but never thought it would. 

“Master?” 

The young Togruta Padawan interrupts you melancholy reflection, using the title that’s almost yours. 

“My apologies, young one,” you say properly. “I got caught up in my thoughts.”

Ahsoka is her name, and she’s as bright eyed and bushy tailed as you can be, going into an active war zone as a fourteen-year-old. Her braid is strung with a yellow bead — proficiency with that saber she wields. You can feel her desperation to prove herself wafting through the air, and, if you focus hard enough, it comes in waves, ripples in the air. Her energy reminds you of someone you haven’t spoken to in so long…

“You’re okay, Master L/n. I’m just wondering if you know my new master.”

Her new master? 

“Obi-Wan and I are close, yes.”

“Not Master Kenobi, Master Skywalker!”

Your breath leaves you and doesn’t do you the favor of coming back. Anakin with a Padawan? That would not end well, especially with what you’ve heard about his… unique combat tactics. Of course, you haven’t seen him since right after your Knighting ceremony.

But he’s been plaguing your thoughts since after the Siege of Cassiopeia, the prospect of his return to your life, along with Obi-Wan’s a mixture of bittersweet emotions, of feelings that you don’t know if they will stay covered. 

“Anakin? I didn’t know he was taking a Padawan.”

Ahsoka shrugs, sharp incisors gleaming. 

“He’s getting one whether he likes it or not.”

Whether he likes it or not, is for sure. 

“Yes, I know him. We grew up together, trained together since both of us were young Padawans with young Masters.” you pause, trying to formulate an unbiased explanation of Anakin, whose very presence always seems to affect you in the worst ways. “He’s… hard to capture in words, I would say. But… He’s awfully skilled in mechanics and piloting, with his blade, of course, as well. Hard headed, stubborn, irritating, but he’s also funny, and caring and… the most loyal person you will ever meet. Protective, too.”

“He sounds great.”

You refrain from agreeing with her. He is great. He’s just a difficult topic for you to broach right now. Ahsoka keeps darting her eyes at you, then back to her holopad.

“Was there something else, Ahsoka?”

“I’m really sorry about Master Bosque, Master L/n.”

Even just his name knocks it out of you. Everything seems to leave you breathless and gasping for the past you can never return to. You feel your vocal chords tighten.

No attachment.

“Thank you.” 

There’s not much to say about it, at least not to her. You ache to tell someone how you feel, but it seems that a Padawan whom you just met may not be the best choice. 

You grip your lightsabers and close your eyes, searching for a semblance of your Master, a sign, any sign that he’s watching over this journey, that he’s helping to better the tasks ahead.

(he’s missing from The Force, just like he is from your life, unjustly gone from the world that still needs him)

(you still need him)

In the village where you grew, you were taught to respect the Living Force. Your mother, your family, and the population who helped to raise you, the daughter of an important someone or other, had always taught you that the spirits of the lost would always be with you, and that you had a unique gift: you could not only sense the spirits, you could call them, channel them. Later, within your training as a Jedi, you learned that the spirits you once knew were actually The Force, and that the sense you’d had for them was an understanding most grown Jedi strived to reach. 

You feel no such spirits upon entry to Christophsis. 

It’s almost a vacuum of the Living Force, such a characteristic is becoming increasingly common in the war.

The Force beacons to the two Jedi on the planet, where your destination must be. You close your eyes, reaching out to Anakin, looking for the link you used to have, looking for his distinct signal. Like his unique radio frequency, he sends ripples through The Force, the layer under reality that you have the ability to sense. Not quite through The Force, halfway between the realms. 

He’s there, alright.

The link that you have suppressed for so many cycles pulses in the back of your mind like an old memory, which you suppose it is.

You must prepare yourself for the confrontation that awaits.

The front is impossible to break, not without reinforcements, not with the limited resources that are steadily depleting.

Anakin believes that with a little assistance from the Council, they can power through and break the line, though, as sore as it is to admit it, continuing his tactics might have the very very very slight possibility of failing.

Maybe. 

Rex can’t know that he has his doubts, though, because Anakin knows that Rex is counting on him. And Obi-Wan.

Definitely Obi-Wan.

The end of the latest battle heralds another sore reminders of the lack of supplies and dashed team spirit, even for a victory. 

Something’s off. It’s a feeling that started at the end of the aforementioned battle, a stirring in the back of his mind, a feeling that feels familiar, something he hasn’t felt in a long time.

“Sent reinforcements, we have,” Yoda tells him and Obi-Wan. “Bothering you, is something, Skywalker?”

Anakin clears his throat. 

“No, Master Yoda. Everything-“

The hologram cuts out before he even finishes his excuse for distraction. Obi-Wan and Rex are both staring at him. What do they want?What do they have to say?

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan starts. Anakin squeezes his eyes shut. The feeling surges. What is this? Why does he feel it now, after years of trying to reach out, why is this coming back to haunt him now?

“She’s coming, isn’t she?” He demands, somewhat belligerently, feeling like a petulant child, whining to his master. “You feel it, right? Did you know?”

“Anakin, I’m as surprised as you are. As far as I knew, she was still on Cassiopeia carrying out covert operations.” Obi-Wan shakes his head, leaning on the podium. Anakin turns to Rex, hoping he’d heard from his best friend, Y/n’s clone commander.

“Don’t look at me, General, I haven’t heard from Jex since the radios went dead. He told me they were headed back to Coruscant.”

Anakin rubs his eyes, feeling the storm brewing. 

This girl.

It’s almost comical, the expression on both Skywalker and Kenobi’s faces, their confusion when they meet the whirlwind that is Ahsoka Tano. It’s fine, they’ll adjust, she’s a perfect little version of Anakin, (She kind of reminds you of yourself, if you’re being honest) and even if he doesn’t see it, she’s the best Padawan he could have gotten. 

You step away from the conversation, getting a report from one of the Clones in blue - Hach. The situation doesn’t sound good. 

you’ll see what Rex has to say about battle strategy, but you have a pretty good idea of what the next step is.

“Why don’t you take Ahsoka to go observe. Get her familiarized with the ground.” 

“Who, the youngling?” 

“Padawan!”

And so, the three Jedi are left alone, and you finally get a chance to look at them, see how they’ve changed. Obi-Wan, bless his soul, is virtually unchanged, the only difference is his armor. Anakin, however… 

You haven’t seen him since recently after the both of you were Knighted, since the night of the huge argument. His hair is longer, his face rougher, a short scar marked over his right eye. His mechanical hand, one of his many impressive feats of engineering, is scratched up and dulled after many battles. His blue eyes search you, probably trying to gauge the same thing that you are— if you’re still angry.

You’re not, if anyone was wondering. Your anger has strictly faded into a cold feeling of indifference— or that might be the layers of suppression that result from years and years of denying what actually happened that night.

“Y/n, my dear, It’s been quite a while,” Obi-Wan says, warm smile flitting onto his face. 

“It has, Master Kenobi. Strange how the time goes.”

Anakin nods at you. Obi wan elbows him. “Ow!” He rubs the back of his neck. “You cut your hair.”

You smack your lips awkwardly. 

“Well,” Obi wan breaks the uncomfortable silence, already stepping away. “I must go speak with the troops. Anakin, why don’t you update Y/n on the status of the battle.”

You thank The Force for granting you this momentary reprieve from the heartbreaking news you carry, but it comes with the price of painstakingly awkward conversation with Skywalker. 

He’s brash and direct, just like you remember him, updating you on the latest supply shortage, the power outages, the horrors of this war, appearing around every corner. 

“I didn’t know you were off of Cassiopeia. I thought the Siege was still in effect,” He admits. You shake your head, remembering what you need to tell him. 

“We went radio silent during the last stages of the Siege, which reminds me,” you snap your comm out of its slot on your gauntlet. “Can you tune me to your frequency?”

He tilts his head, grinning slyly. 

“Four years and you still haven’t learned how to program a comm?”

“Jex is a mechanic, Skywalker,” You drop the comm into his black- gloves hand. “And for your information, I know how to do it, I just …prefer not to.”

“Oh, I’m sure, and I wasted all that time on Naboo teaching you how to program them, just for you to mooch off poor Jex.”

“No one’s mooching anything! Jex is happy to help me!”

“Oh, I’m sure.”

“What that supposed to-“

You’re cut off by the beeping from both of your comms, meaning Rex’s found something, probably something that’s just going to heighten the risks of the upcoming battle. 

Is there a tactical advantage to sending Ahsoka, the smallest of you all, to sneak past the force field? Sure, yes. Does it pleasure you to torment Anakin with his new spitfire padawan? Of fucking course. 

So the two bickering Jedi set off to set charges  on the barrier, leaving you with Kenobi and Rex.

“What’s the plan, Generals?” The clone asks. You glance at Obi-Wan.

“Whaddya say, old man? the old fashioned surrender?”

He sighs.

“Y/n, I resent it when you call me that, but… yes. The old fashioned surrender should give them enough time.”

You grin.

“Sounds like a plan.”

The downside of a plan going, well, according to plan, is that you have no more time to speak to anakin and Master Kenobi about what will happen upon return to shore leave on Coruscant. 

It’s late, Ahsoka has retired to her quarters on the Resolute, leaving only the three senior Jedi in the common area, reflecting and writing reports of the events on Christophsis. You take in a deep breath, steeling yourself.

“Master Kenobi, Skywalker,” You address them formally, trying to stay detached. “I’m afraid I haven’t been completely… honest about the events of the final battle for Cassiopeia.”

Both Jedi fixate on you, concern evident on their battle-worn faces.

“I didn’t want to distract you before going into combat, and perhaps I was sparing myself the grief of reliving it… but… on Cassiopeia, I was captured.” Better to start off with the beginning of the story. “It was part of the plan, but the tactics of the Separatists were even more convoluted than what any of us could have imagined, so, Master Bosque saw the plan’s acceleration.” You take a deep breath. “It was… sloppy, it was tragic. We lost everyone on the mission, except myself… and Jex.” You pause, to recuperate yourself, to keep your voice from cracking, but it grows think in your throat. “Bosque was killed. I’m sorry. I know how much he meant to both of you.”

You breathe shakily. Kenobi seems frozen, paralyzed by grief. His oldest friend, gone at the hands of this war. Skywalker’s blue eyes have hardened, his mouth turned down. Bosque helped Kenobi train him, as well. He was to Anakin what Kenobi is to you. 

“Upon our return to Coruscant for shore leave, there will be a ceremony, commemorating Bosque, followed by my induction to the Order of Mastery.”

Anakin recoils at this.You know how much he wishes to become a Master.

Deafening silence, the millings about of Clones.

“I should- I want you, Master Kenobi, to conduct the ceremony as my honorary Post- Master. And- and I knew you would want to see him. One last time.”

You hold your breath, partly in suspense, mostly to keep from breaking out in sobs. You have not wept for him. You will not.

You will not.

But these two— if anyone could make you cry for the Master you wish was still here, they could.

So you leave.

You leave them to their grief.

A coward’s move, yes.

But you are a coward.

And you go to your quarters and try to sleep, trying desperately to not feel, not because it’s what the order requires, but because it just hurts too much to feel anymore.

[draggged-leer]

Will was pacing back and forth next to Thalia’s Tree, with Kayla and Austin standing near him.

“Jeez Will, Calm down. They'll be here soon.” Kayla said, crossing her arms.

“And besides, Lee’s at work so he has to get off his shift. And Micheal’s at the university, with Jake. They might take long because who knows what they’re doing alone together.”

Austin nodded his head in agreement.

Will finally calmed down, he stopped pacing back and forth but he started fidgeting with the ring on his finger. The one that Nico had gifted to him.

“Sorry, it’s just that I haven’t seen them in a long time.” He admitted.

Austin looked at him confused. “But they came over for winter break? And it’s April.” He said. Kayla rolled her eyes and sighed.

“That’s still a long time, but still, Will it’s only been like 4 months. Nothing’s gonna be different with them.” Kayla reassured.

Will sighed, “You’re right, I shouldn’t be nervous.” He stopped fidgeting with the ring. “Let’s just wait till they come.”

“Wait, Jake’s coming along with Michael right?” Austin questioned.

“Yeah, but don’t worry he’s not hanging out with us, he’ll be with his siblings.” Will replied, and Austin muttered an ‘ok’

They were talking to each other for a minutes, until they heard yelling, well… someone yelling.

“Oh really? Huh! Well this is why your dumbass always gets hurt!“ when Will recognized the voice, his face lit up with happiness.

“Michael!” He yelled excitedly before running out of the camp boarder to hug Michael.

He practically jumped at Michael and hugged him tight. Kayla and Austin followed behind.

“Hey Willy boy— agh! Will! T-too tight man!” Michael shouted out.

Will let go and rubbed the back of his neck with an apologetic look on his face.

“Hehe… sorry about that Mikey. I just missed my big brother,” Will said. Michael caught his breath, he started to fix his shirt and looked at Will confused.

“I missed you too but, you acted like you haven’t seen me in years.” He said, then Jake shoved him playfully.

“He has attachment issues with you, remember? Like how when we were younger he used to follow you around like a duckling.” Jake said as he looked down at Michael.

Michael rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. And Will nodded in agreement.

“Shut up, you still can’t talk.” Michael demanded.

Kayla and Austin then went to go hug Michael, but not as tight as Will did. Michael returned the hugs.

“Why can’t he talk?” Austin questioned, tilting his head to the side in confusion.

Jake looked at Michael, who was ignoring him and talking to Kayla and Will, then looking over to Austin.

“He’s just mad at me because I said that he’s the one that got us lost on our way here.” Jake claimed.

“Ohhhh okay.”

“Shut up Jake, Austin don’t listen to him, he’s the sleep deprived one here so he has no idea on what he’s talking about, he’s the one that got us lost.”

Michael reassured Austin, as he scowled at Jake.

“Mikey, please, you were leading us, you didn’t even let me try to figure where to go.” Jake proclaimed, putting a hand on Michael’s shoulder.

“Whatever.” Michael scoffed.

“Alright that’s enough arguing lovebirds, let’s get back onto camp grounds before we have a monster attacking us.” Kayla interrupted.

They agreed and walked back onto camp grounds, now only waiting for Lee to show up.

“Jake, not to be rude or anything but, why are you still here?” Austin interjected.

Michael almost bursted out laughing, from how funny Austin had worded it, and Jake looked offended.

“I’m just saying, this is our sibling day, so shouldn’t you go to your siblings? I mean if you want to be with Michael you can do that later, because you technically have Michael all to yourself when you guys are in New Rome.” He continued

Michael then lost it, he was laughing hysterically. “O-oh my gods, hah! Austin you’re the funniest!” He laughed out. But Austin looked at him confused.

“What do you mean? I’m just saying that he should go to Cabin 9?” Austin added.

Michael calmed down. “That’s why, the way you said it was hilarious, and yeah Jake, it’s my day to hang out with my siblings, go hang out with yours, I’m pretty sure Beckendorf is visiting too,” he continued.

Jake rolled his eyes and started to walk away, “Yeah sure, I’ll go away.” He said dramatically.

Michael lets out a small laugh, “love you.” He shouted over to Jake who was halfway down the hill from Thalia’s tree.

“Love you too!” Jake shouted back.

“Aww how adorable! Bleh.” Kayla said, as she made gagging noises.

Michael rolled his eyes at his younger sister’s antics. “Oh shut up, and hey Will, where’s Nico? He usually always with you?” Michael asked.

Will stood up straight, as he was slouching before, “oh um he’s visiting his sister Hazel right now, he said he’ll be back later or tomorrow.”

Michael nodded his head in understanding.

******

“Oh my gods, when is Lee getting here? It’s already been forty minutes!” Michael complained.

Right when he said that, someone came running towards them, yelling.

“Michael! Kayla! Will! Austin!” Lee shouted, as he ran towards Michael first, hugging him and lifting him up in the process, also squeezing the life of him.

“Lee! Gods dude! You’re killing me! And put me down!” Michael demanded, and began squirming in Lee’s arms.

Lee put Michael down, muttering an apology, and then ran towards his younger siblings and pulling them into a tight hug as well, but unlike Michael, they didn’t complain.

Lee had finally let go for what felt like hours.

“Sorry ‘bout that, I just miss you guys so much! I don’t care that’s it’s only been 4 months!” He cried.

“Oh and look at you guys! Will did you get taller? Gods, soon you’ll be taller than me! Kayla did you re-dye your tips green? It’s looks good! Austin, I saw that your music video got five hundred thousands views! I’m Proud of ya! And Michael! How have ya been? How’s Jake doing? Did his arm heal already? Tell him I said hi.” Lee panted, since he blurted that all out, he stopped and took a breather before speaking again.

“And Will! Where’s Nico?” He asked, “he’s not hiding behind Thalia’s tree and tryna scare me right?” Lee guessed.

Will let out a small laugh, “oh no, he’s just visiting his sister,”

“Ohhh okay. Do then, are you guys excited for sibling day? Cause I know I am!” Lee announced excitedly, throwing his arms up.

“Woo!” Austin and Kayla did the same.

“I’m actually surprised Chiron is letting you guys leave camp for the day.” Michael said amused, “Don’t tell me you guys threatened Poor Chiron?” He joked.

“Nope!” Will answered, “it took a lot, I mean a lot of time to work on our puppy dog faces, right guys?” He turned to look over at Kayla and Austin, who were nodding their heads in agreement.

Lee sighed.

“Well, I think we should get going!” He stated, “Where would you guys like to go? I’m sure Chiron gave you guys money right? Maybe we could go over to the mall and look around the stores?” Lee suggested.

Michael shrugged his shoulders, “eh, why not, I mean I stole a few bucks from Jake, so—“ he stopped himself, seeing the disappointed look on his older brother’s face. “Kidding,” he reassured. “I earned a few bucks from Ms Jackson for babysitting Percy’s younger sister, Estelle.” He mentioned.

“And well, Chiron only gave us 50 dollars each so, I think we’ll just have enough to go to one store.” Kayla explained. Lee gasped dramatically and putting a hand over his chest.

“Well no worries my dear siblings! As my job for being your eldest brother! I’ll buy you guys a few things, since I do have money.” Lee preached. Will, Kayla and Austin started clapping and saying ‘thank you’

“Now let’s get going!”

*****

After for what felt like hours, since New York is a busy place, they had finally arrived to the mall.

“Alrighty, what store would you like to go to first? We have a clothing store, many clothing stores actually, jewelry shops, shoe stores, candy stores, and look! a Hot Topic, maybe you can get something for Nico in there Will! He likes Frank Sinatra right? I’m pretty sure they have a shirt about him.” Lee offered, and Will was thinking about it.

Or maybe an antique store? Does Nico like those kind of things?” Lee suggested, after Will introduced Nico to him, Lee was so happy, he says that Nico’s part of the family now so Lee tries his best to try to get to know Nico.

“Calm down Blondie, you’re speaking way too fast, just breathe.” Michael insisted, he then handed Lee a water bottle he got before they left camp.

“Where would any of you like to go first?” Michael asked.

“I mean, I could use some new shoes, the ones that I’m wearing are getting dirty and are starting to rip so I say we should go to the shoe store?” Kayla offered.

“Ok, so, shoe store it is?” Michael asked, they all agreed and headed up to the second floor of the mall since that’s where the shoe store is located.

They all started to look around the store to see if they wanted a new pair of shoes beside Kayla.

After around an hour and a half.

Kayla found a new pair of shoes, and so did Lee. And so they walked out of the store with two separate bags.

“Hey look, one hundred and sixty dollars that’s not bad, eighty dollars for a pair of shoes is a good deal!” Kayla pointed out.

“Alright since Kayla chose a store, who wants to choose the next store we go to?” Lee asked.

“Oh oh! Let’s go to the clothing store! I need to get few clothes to look good on my YouTube!” Austin beamed.

“Oh yeah, me too, but instead of YouTube I need to make Drew jealous that I got new clothes and she didn’t!” Michael stated. And Lee rolled his eyes.

“I don’t get the hatred you and Drew have for each other…. But whatever let’s go to the clothing store,” Lee started. “But which one? There’s like twenty different ones.” He questioned.

“I don’t know? Any?”

They walked out of the last clothing store for today, laughing, it seemed like they had fun.

They had been to almost all the clothing stores in the mall, and so they had a lot of bags. Lee had two bags from all day, the one with his new shoes, and the bag for the new clothes he got from a previous store.

Michael had four bags, three of them were from previous clothing stores and the fourth one was small with a shirt he got for Jake.

Will also has four bags, and one of the bags was something he got for his boyfriend, he got Nico a t-shirt with Frank Sinatra like how Lee suggested, and a small snow globe with stars and the moon with two bats sitting together on the small tree.

Kayla had three bags, the shoe bag, a small bag from the candy store they checked out, and a bag filled with new clothes she got.

Austin had also gotten a bag with small treats, he went to the jewelry shop and got a new cool bracelet and a few t-shirts and pants from the clothing stores.

“Man, I think I’m gonna go broke, I’ve wasted a lot of money today, and I emphasize on the word ‘a lot’ if I ever become homeless, you guys know why.” Lee huffed. And then checked his watch. “We left camp around eleven am, and it’s…. Five PM, wow, we’ve been for a long time and it didn’t even feel like it.” He mumbled.

“Well since we’ve been here for so long, I suggest we go and get something to eat?” Will offered.

“Yes! Will, you’re so smart,” Kayla praised.

“Alright then, we’re getting something to eat? You wanna choose what we get, sunshine?” Michael asked, referring to Will.

“Hmmm.. Chinese food? I mean there’s one here at the food court.” He suggested.

****

And so they sat down at a table and started dto eat Chinese food, laughing and having a good time together.

“Wait so are you three the only Cabin 7 members at camp right now?” Lee asked, Kayla nodded, taking a sip from her water.

“What about the others? Yan, Jerry and Gracie? What about them? Where are they?” Michael wondered.

“They’re not year round campers, so they’re still at school. Since today is a Wednesday, they’re still at school. Yan said that their spring break start tomorrow in Thursday, so that’s when they’ll be over.” Will added.

“Ohhh.”

They kept talking and laughing with each other, they left the mall and were carrying their bags the entire way to camp.

******

It was around 8 PM when they got back to camp, everybody else at camp was around the campfire, but the five of them stayed in Cabin 7, acting like middle school girls having a sleepover, braiding each others hair (Done by Lee and Kayla), talking about random things (“would y’all rather get taking by aliens and have them experiment on you or have a cow sit on you?” ….. “Michael, what kind of question is that?”), also them getting into their matching pajamas they got from the mall (they also got some for Yan, Jerry and Gracie so they won’t feel left out), they had pillow fights (“Guys, I think I gave Will a concussion…” “Austin what the fuck.”) and ate some snacks.

Overall, they had fun spending time together as siblings, doing what normal kids would do. They didn’t have to deal with any monsters today, (thank the gods) and they were actually able to be normal kids and not demigods.

Also, I posted this on my Ao3 acc but it got deleted so I posted it on here. (So please don’t accuse me of stealing)

[doonarose]

I wrote sickly sweet mostly PG rated Christmas fic about Crowley and Aziraphale having their first Christmas as a couple (Crowley would like it noted that they are not a couple) and it likely needs an edit and a britpick but have at it until I wake up tomorrow and do those things. Wheeeeeee!

***

“In what universe, did you actually think I would be interested in Christmas frivolities?” Crowley stares down the overflowing box of fake pine branches, metallic tinsel, and flashes of red velour. “Half of all that stuff is literally hell’s own work!”

The box is held in Aziraphale’s arms and he’s looking far too pleased with himself as he blocks the bookshop front doorway and any obvious opportunity for Crowley’s escape.

“Yes, but, well, we haven’t technically stayed together for Christmas – ”

Crowley cuts him off, “Not since 1826 and that was – ”

“That certainly doesn’t count.”

Of course it doesn’t.

Aziraphale clicks his tongue and moves past Crowley to drop the box on the sofa next to the desk. And then he turns on his heel in a flourish of swishing caramel winter jacket and heads back towards the front door. “And we’ve seen each other on Christmases, of course, but never as a couple and I thought, now that we are a couple we could try celebrating properly.”

Crowley staunchly ignores Aziraphale’s emphatic choices. They are most certainly not a couple. They are occult beings who have admitted quite a lot of feelings culminating in admissions of love (adoration, attachment, affection, admiration… Crowley doesn’t start on the ‘Bs) and have determined to spend most, if not all, of eternity together. It’s been almost six months now. They are not a couple.

Aziraphale is bustling back through the door with another box spilling over with hideous Christmas garb and Crowley swears this will be the last time he ever lets him run errands in the Bentley unsupervised. (It will not.)

“Angel, I am not one to celebrate the birth of their lord and saviour Jesus Christ, I’m a – ”

“Yes, a demon, I know,” Aziraphale says with an audible eyeroll. “Can you shift that.” He motions with his chin.

Crowley moves a stack of books out of his way. “What do we even need all this for?”

“To be festive!”

“And why do we need to be festive?”

“Because it’s fun,” Aziraphale positively wriggles with his delight and Crowley has to chew back on his own grin of kneejerk satisfaction to see it. He needs to stop reenforcing this kind of thing.

“I don’t see what’s fun about it at all. It’s the depths of winter except that there’s more winter to come, everything’s more expensive than it should be, and you have more customers than ever.” Crowley sets his lips in a scowl very deliberately. “Bah humbug, I say!”

“Oh Crowley,” Aziraphale huffs and has the absolute audacity to beam at him as he pinches Crowley’s scowling cheek before disappearing back out onto the street to retrieve another box.

***

“If you don’t want to help me decorate, you don’t have to.” Aziraphale’s pouting and Crowley still hasn’t built up sufficient immunity against that well-deployed expression (very, very secretly, he hopes he never will).

He grumbles, “Well, I do, though. I’d feel bad if I didn’t.’

“Lovely.”

They stare at each other, Aziraphale’s eyes a challenge, Crowley’s working hard to convey general discontent.

Which is hard what he’s probably, maybe the most content he’s ever been, and just mildly annoyed about the repetitive Christmas music in the shops he frequents, and at Aziraphale’s ability to infect him with softness. He’s not meant to be soft, that’s Aziraphale’s job, and he likes Aziraphale soft. It won’t do if it’s the both of them, lazing around, being soft.

Aziraphale relents and tilts his head back with a huff. He’s sitting on the sofa, surrounded by the six over-stuffed boxes of Christmas paraphernalia he’s brought back from who knows where. He’s all splayed and flushed pink under the snug collar of his shirt and still wrapped up in too many layers of wool against the cold flurries of snow falling outside.

Crowley considers putting a stop to their Christmas debate and spending quite a bit of time on unwrapping Aziraphale.

“Can we at least do presents?”

“What?”

“For each other?”

Crowley scowls some more, but of course he has a half-dozen gifts he’s just been waiting for an excuse to bestow, soft, besotted, ethereal immortal that he is; presents sound rather lovely. Plus, he’s been looking for an excuse to buy Aziraphale some new socks, various wines and pastries, an undiscovered diary he’s got his eye on that he’s sure belonged to Joyce, a selection of maps he knows have Darwin’s scrawls on them. Also, a cushion for the Bentley, and fingerless gloves and…

��We already do gifts, don’t need capitalism to enforce a due date.”

Aziraphale’s mouth twists up, displeased with that response.

Crowley relents and hopes it’s convincing. “Fine, I’ll buy you something and wrap it up all nice and festive.”

“Wonderful, “Aziraphale breathes out. “And we could go and see a pantomime?”

“I will suffer all manner of tortures besides you, but I draw the line at purposefully bad theatre.”

Aziraphale pouts some more. “What about Christmas jumpers?”

“Only if you manage to knock me unconscious first,” Crowley snarks, his lips tipping up at the thought.

Aziraphale sits forward and steeples his fingers. “There are some very funny ones, you know, and in lovely shades of red, I’m sure we could find something you like.”

Crowley dismisses the idea with a laugh. “What else?”

“Mince pies?” Aziraphale asks, sounding meek.

“Do you really even like the taste of them? All sickly sweet, gummy fruit and your most hated spices?”

Aziraphale’s face falls. “Christmas pudding?”

“Same objection.”

“Well, we can still do a nice roast turkey with all the trimmings.”

Crowley’s grin breaks free again. “Ah, yes, the driest, worst roast that exists. Angel, I don’t know why you want to bother.”

“Because it’s nice.” Aziraphale snaps, becoming stroppy in Crowley’s rejection. It scratches at the back of Crowley’s neck in an unpleasant way because, of course, he’ll do at least some of it, if it makes Aziraphale happy.

“Will we have to cook the turkey and trimmings ourselves?” Crowley grumbles.

“Yes!” Aziraphale tells him. Cooking is mostly new to both of them. They’re awful at it, but more often than not it ends up rather an enjoyable experience. And they have a reliable list of late-night take-aways for backup anyhow. “I’ll make some lists and we can do a big shop together!”

Aziraphale’s face has lit up and it has become apparent that he wasn’t really that hard done by Crowley’s initial rejection and has rather adeptly played him. “And jumpers!” he adds like it isn’t up for negotiation. “Mulled wine, I’m sure you won’t object to?”

“In general, imbibing copious amounts of alcohol is one tradition I can get behind.”

“Lovely!” Aziraphale wriggles again and Crowley works to keep from cocking his head and devouring Aziraphale’s pleasure with a heated gaze. “Merry Christmas, my darling,” Aziraphale tells him.

Crowley’s continues to grin in spite of himself; he shakes his head and feels the blood in his cheeks. “You’re ridiculous,” he says. Aziraphale is ridiculous. They are both ridiculous.

***

“Angel!” Crowley calls for him and balances urgency with easiness. Occasionally, they still make each other panic, they still panic together. Six thousand years of near-death and furtive romance (that’s what it had been, really) and all sorts of trauma will do that.

Aziraphale descends the spiral staircase, into the dimly lit bookshop, multi-coloured fairy lights strewn over surfaces and suspended interwoven into bits of plastic tree providing the main source of illumination.

Crowley holds his position in the doorway to the backroom, one leg bent, one ankle crossed over the other. He has one of his arms cast above his head, leaning his wrist against the top of the doorframe. “In here, angel.”

“Crowley?” Aziraphale seeks him out, a crease between his eyes as he squints to see Crowley backlit in the doorway. “I thought you were in bed already?”

“I thought you said you only had a couple more pages to read.” Aziraphale’s been squirreled away in the spare room for hours and Crowley, having attempted sleep, had found himself too restless for it. “Come here,” he beckons again. “Closer.”

Aziraphale moves to him without hesitating and Crowley drops back from the door a half step, keeping one arm raised as he pulls a sleek A4-sized silver box from behind his back. “Early Christmas present,” he announces, with an overly pleased grin.

“Four more days,” Aziraphale admonishes, but his eyes catch on the box and it’s glittering surface and expensive looking red bow. “Is this for me now, though?”

Crowley gives him a slight nod but when Aziraphale reaches for it he pulls the gift back. “Hold on, I’ve got another festive tradition I think I can get on board with.”

Aziraphale’s hands pause in mid-air as Crowley sways back and very pointedly looks up to where his forearm’s still resting against the doorframe.

In his fingers, a spry looking bunch of mistletoe is grasped and hanging, tied together with a festive red bow and twisting back and forth between his fingertips.

Crowley waggles his eyebrows suggestively and lets his lips open around a mischievous smile, his tongue resting against the backs of his top teeth.

Aziraphale tries to school his expression, but Crowley’s intimately familiar with his look of delight. With the look he gets right before he leans in and kisses him. “Ah, you’re trying to tempt me?” Aziraphale attempts to be coy.

“Not at all, this is tradition, basically a rule,” Crowley drawls.

Aziraphale considers, faux reluctance about his lips. “Can’t really go against a Christmas rule, then.”

Crowley tips his face down to meet Aziraphale’s lips in a chaste press, easy in how casual it is, the expected taste of earl grey tea in the crease, and the warm blossoming softness of Aziraphale’s mouth against, welcome and pleasant in a way that spreads all the way out to his fingertips.

All too soon Aziraphale’s stepping back, Crowley’s gift grasped triumphantly in his hands. Crowley grumbles. “This is some grade A fresh mistletoe and I hardly think – ”

Aziraphale cuts him off with another kiss, more momentum, more movement, but still so blissfully soft, little movements back and forth as they slot together and tease at each other to see if, when, they’ll escalate. Aziraphale licks at Crowley’s bottom lip and he’s undone with it, as he always is, his lips going pliant and open so Aziraphale can lick with more pressure in between. Little motions into Crowley’s mouth and up against his tongue until Crowley’s halfway through a moan and rampant, unravelling, overwhelming thoughts, of dragging the angel over to the couch or up the stairs or somewhere. Then he sways too close and is jabbed in the stomach by the corner of the box and he pulls back with an “Ow.”

Aziraphale chuckles at him and then winces as the mistletoe drops from Crowley’s hand and bounces off his head onto the floor beside them.  He gives Crowley a look as he licks his lips and then turns his attention to his gift.

Crowley flushes and is suddenly unsure. This is exactly the kind of dumb shit couples do, he thinks. But so far, not so much, what he and Aziraphale do. Kissing in doorways under mistletoe, exchanging stupid gifts days too soon, without any excuse except that it’s Christmas and they want to.

“What have you gotten me?”

“’S nothing, really,” Crowley caveats.

Aziraphale clicks his tongue like he doesn’t believe it and wastes no time in tugging the bow free and pulling the lid off the box.

Beneath is tartan, deeper red than anything Aziraphale would ever usually wear but crossed through with his usual palette of browns and creams. He presses the box into Crowley’s hand so he can pull the soft cotton garment out and hold it up for appraisal.

“Pyjamas?” he figures correctly.

“’Cause you’re spending more time in bed.”

Aziraphale arches an eyebrow.

“I mean you never used to spend any time in bed, is all.” Crowley’s gaze drops to the floor. “Want you to be comfy.”

Aziraphale pulls the next layer of folded cotton out to find the matching pyjama bottoms. He stretches the waistband, testing the give, and then closes a hand over the edge of the box, deliberately bumping up against Crowley’s. “I love them,” he says and leans forward for another easy kiss even without the mistletoe overhead.

There’s still one layer of soft fabric left, verdant green with splashes of red, glimmering like satin under the Christmas lights. As Aziraphale holds the pyjamas scrunched in one hand so he can pull the rather ridiculous boxer shorts up, Crowley tries very hard to sound filthy instead of ridiculous when he says, “Also because you should be spending more time in my bed.”

Aziraphale snorts and it twists up something like devotion in Crowley’s stomach even as Aziraphale holds the mistletoe adorned silk boxers aloft.

“Really, Crowley,” Aziraphale says as he turns them over in his hands only to discover the inscription over the back of one thigh.

Kiss me under the mistletoe.

“Really, Aziraphale,” Crowley tells him, leaning into it if only because Aziraphale’s laughing and pink-cheeked and happy. “I thought you wanted me to find Christmas traditions I could get on board with.”

“Not sure this counts.”

“Those are definitely Christmas themed pants,” Crowley defends himself. “And if you’d be much obliged and go upstairs and put them on, I can once again demonstrate the requisite Christmas tradition.”

Aziraphale’s smile grows as he huffs out, “Crowley!” and is entirely unconvincing in his scandalized tone.

“Merry Christmas,” Crowley tells him and it’s enough to have Aziraphale laughing again, grasping his new pyjamas and ridiculous boxer shorts with intent, before he mumbles it back, sweetly and softly:

“Merry Christmas.” Then Aziraphale reaches for Crowley and it’s less sweet and soft, as he drags him in for one more kiss before turning and leading Crowley by the hand up the stairs to their bedroom.

[rocketturtle4]

Thai QL Favorites Tag game

This is my first tag game I’m rather excited,

Thanks @waitmyturtles and @lurkingshan for the tag.

My time on Tumblr has been less than 2 months, and prior to this I primarily watched TV for escapism and wasn’t particularly fussed about how closely shows adhered to reality or its values, so some of that will definitely be reflected here. (Previous genres of TV I’ve been invested in are anime and fantasy, I have seen soooo little western romance or queer cinema or high school movies or a lot of things).

Disclaimer: Emphasis on favourite over best

Also I appreciate Thai BL way more since coming to Tumblr but I have seen rather few shows in that time so there’s a ton I need to watch or rewatch with context that I haven’t yet (Moonlight Chicken, The eclipse, Bed Friend, ITSAY, He’s Coming to Me, My School President and more) so I can’t include them on this list like everyone else seems to be!

I honestly think brevity is an extremely envious skill, and I do not have such skills so here goes.

Favorite Thai QL: SOTUS S (Including the Our Skyy episode) or maybe To Sir With Love, It hasn't been long enough for me to tell yet but both those shows made me scream in different ways

Favorite Pairing: I assumed this was like character couple but some Tumblr searching suggests otherwise. I have watched 0 behind the scene’s footage except what rolls through tumblr and my youtube shorts and I am still learning actors names (Y’all have a habit of referring to actors in photos by their pairing name (e.g. offgun) without context on which one is WHICH so it’s hard to learn names that way lol.

Having said that I started watching BL because Between Us was airing and rolled through my youtube shorts and my first 3 BLs were all watched because of BounPrem (BU, UWMA & Cutie Pie) because I liked their dynamic.

Most underrated actor: see previous statement on my actor confusion. I'll sit down and make a list with pictures one day... or maybe not because that seems creepy

Favorite Character: Arthrit. Seriously I have rarely gotten so attached to a single character, I loved him so much, my demi ass had no idea what I was supposed to do with my actual fricken emotions. I finished SOTUS S with 50 screenshots of him FOR NO REASON. Also, Ae in Love by Chance killed me dead.

Favorite Side Character: I’m taking this as a pairing and choosing ForthBeam from 2 Moons 2, a very recent watch of mine. I thought MingKit was going to be my favourite part of that series and then ForthBeam showed up and knocked them straight out of the park.

Favorite scene in a QL: I sat here for a while deciding whether or not honesty was the best policy, and I decided yes it was SO:

It’s from Love In The Air and it’s a scene between Pai and Sky where Sky is sleeping (nearly recovered from being sick) and the camera switches between Sky’s sleeping, somewhat exposed self and Pai and his ever fraying control as he looks at and away from Sky's sleeping form and he leans closer, and closer, even as he tells himself not to, even as he speaks out loud 'not to loose control now' he leans closer still. Then Sky wakes up, just as Pai’s face is centimetres from his, and Sky asks ‘are you going to jump me P’Pai’ and Pai breathes rather quickly and heavily as he leans back stands up and announces that he needs to use the bathroom before walking swiftly away.

THE RESTRAINT, IT KILLS ME OKAY.

(if this wasn’t Thai only Takara-kun to Amagi-kun’s restraint scene would win)

(I did not have to look that up, this scene LIVES in my brain, at all times)

Although Tian & Lomfon’s final confession and kiss has been looping so often it might be a serious contender, It’s just too soon to say.

Favorite line in a QL: It’s not technically one line but AePete in the locker room after the makeout where Ae asks Pete to be his boyfriend (or some variation thereof) SEVEN TIMES wins for me. That boy is determined to have a clear answer.

Most Anticipated QL (& why): I don’t keep track of upcoming BL, that’s 70% of the reason I initially got Tumblr, everyone’s excited for Only Friends so that one. Or there was one with the pair from Bed Friends that looked interesting, or ZeeNew’s actually with the prince.

Healthiest relationship in a QL: I have not thought about this very hard, but WinTeam maybe? Although they need to communicate better. Also ForthBeams relationship actually seems really healthy too.

Most toxic relationship in a QL: VegasPete, although a rewatch of Kinnporsche with additional context might change my thoughts, (also I haven’t seen tharntype)

Guilty pleasure series: Don’t Say No & Love in the Air although I feel guiltier about the second and I love the first more.

Most Underrated Series: I do not know enough about how series have been rated to make a call, but I was shocked to be told La Pluie was doing badly on mdl so that one.

I tried to check who’d already been tagged and not double up so there arent a lot, but feel free to ignore either way! @shouldiusemyname, @plantsarepeopletoo, @troubled-mind @dribs-and-drabbles

[quibbs126]

Can I ask you for some fankid advice? I’ve made a Hollytaya fankid recently, and I need help deciding his “flavor”. I have four/maybe five options so far:

-Coralberry (Super cute, would definitely fit a Hollyberry/Pitaya child. However, I did get the inspiration from your Princess/Raspberry child, so I’m not sure if I should go for it)

-Riberry (Also cute, the one I’m most attached to. Also sounds more masculine/neutral than coralberry, and it’s more reddish than Coralberry. Plus I haven’t seen any other cookies with this flavor, so bonus!)

-Chinese Bayberry (Another one I’m super attached to, but due to the first part of the name I feel like there’d need to be elements of Chinese culture, which I don’t feel fits/makes sense with either parent. Please tell me if I’m wrong, though)

-Sampinit (Looks pretty cool, but related to raspberries more than the two parents. Plus maybe a bit too reddish for a Hollyberry child)

Rambutan (Thought it would be cool, but maybe not. What I read on its Wikipedia entry makes it seem that this fruit would better suit a Pitaya/Longan, Pitaya/Lychee, or Longan/Lychee child better.)

If having a personality would help, then I can provide one! I don’t have an adult one for him, though; he’s currently a child. He bites people as a love language, loves jumping off of high places to learn how to fly, and regularly gives his parents heart attacks. Basically a reckless, impulsive child/toddler that can fly lol-

What are your thoughts? You can add suggestions if you see fit!

Yeah sure I can try to help

I’m gonna get this out of the way first, there already exists a Cookie called Rambutan Cookie, and it’s funny you mention rambutan working for hollytaya, because while I wasn’t around for it, I do know that after Rambutan came out, people were calling her a hollytaya kid. I don’t know what the general consensus of the whole thing is now, but I know it was a thing

And also note for your other ship ideas, it’s generally assumed that the dragons are related. Even if it’s technically not confirmed, it is a common held idea in the fandom, so maybe don’t go for it. And it’s also a debate in the fandom whether Lychee is a child or not, and as far as I’m aware we haven’t come to a general agreement on it yet, but I could be wrong

Anyways on to your actual question, personally I think I like Riberry the best, and also like you said, probably fits the best with a more masculine character, which I assume your kid is based on the description

…I feel like I should have more to say on the name, but yeah that’s kind of the gist of my recommendation. Hope this helps!

[offdensen]

i wrote a review for army of the doomstar on letterboxd for my third watch (after marathoning the entire show in one day) and i wanted to share it here, too.

spoiler free.

⛧⛧⛧

i think it's time for me to say something actually substantial about this film now that i've rewatched it after having gone through the entire series once again.

the thing is, it's impossible for me to judge this fairly or objectively. my attachment to this series, to the music, to the characters, to anything that brendon small touches means i can never be unbiased about the production of the film. i spent years lamenting the lack of a proper ending, thankful for 2017’s galaktikon II: become the storm providing an infringement-avoidant ending but still left wanting. having a proper conclusion after so long is a wonderful gift, one that’s made me cry every time i’ve gone through it.

what's so incredible about this film is that it’s as if no time has passed since the doomstar requiem. i can certainly feel that ten years have come and gone since this series was unceremoniously cancelled by the powers that be at [adult swim], and i definitely carry at least some of the teenaged bitterness from that still, but army of the doomstar picks up so well from where we left off that it's a testament to the passion and love the cast and crew have for this silly little show about death metal musicians.

you can tell that these characters live in brendon small so intensely after all this time. he picks them up effortlessly, not just in his performance, but also in his writing and direction. tommy blacha is as strong as ever, particularly as a haunted, tormented murderface. how extraordinarily lucky we are to have victor brandt, mark hamill, and malcolm mcdowell returning to give their characters one final hurrah.

visually, it's an absolute treat. army of the doomstar feels cinematic in a way that makes it stand out not just compared to its source material, but also to its [as] contemporaries. it still has that slight titmouse jank that i dearly love, enough that it doesn't feel divorced from its roots; it is the logical conclusion to the art evolution the show had been endeavoring through every season. not showing this on the big screen, even for a very limited run, is an injustice.

music has always been metalocalypse's high-point and it remains true here. brendon small never really departed from that heavy sound during the show’s temporary death, having expanding upon it in galaktikon II with a stronger emphasis on synth. this really shines in the film’s score, balancing its orchestral and guitar-forward metal elements delicately well. dethklok itself is as technically impressive as ever, returning with that more mature sound from the last season. dethalbum IV works delightfully well as a companion piece.

i don’t know how this film would fair to those that haven’t revisited the show since it was still airing new episodes, to those that never kept up with the overarching story, or to those who were particularly married to what we were given in galaktikon II. the grand spectacle of become the storm was traded for something that better resembled the thesis of the show, the thread seen throughout that tied ego and selfishness to loss and destruction, not just to others but also to oneself.

i also don’t think it could be evaluated fairly as a standalone film. truly, how much does it matter how well something stands on its own when it's sewn from a grander piece?

army of the doomstar is different, both in overall tone from the show and plot-wise from its proxy from 2017, and i think this is to its betterment. it is still funny like its origin, but it is also heartfelt, it is genuine, it is sorrowful, it is hopeful. it is a love-letter to the music it was birthed from and to the fans that kept it breathing. it is niche, but it is ours.

thank you, brendon, for not breaking up with us.

[shinypokemonshowdown]

This the anon who disliked My Hero Academia. I mostly made the anti-propaganda because from what I have seen of Izuku Midoriya the Tangla shiny vines are a way brighter color. That’s why I changed the wording “looks a lot like” to “kinda looks like” also while on the topic of polls; how quickly do you usually decide what shines you like? Because I haven’t played the games yet and these polls are usually my first time seeing most shines and I pick almost immediately because if I think it’s a decent shiny. For example of one that didn’t and the other option did: Tangla doesn’t but Murkrow does. Tanga’s vines when green just look like a cartoonish vines but not leaves or anything and I don’t like that shade of green. And I immediately liked the shade if purple of shiny Murkrow.

Hmm, general my favorite shinies come from my favorite pokemon! I have a lot of love for certain pokemon and even if I technically wouldn't like their shiny form on any other mon, because they're my favorite they take the spot. I let a lot of pokemon biases go into my shiny preferences.

However I do prefer teal or dark green shinies, because teal is my favorite color.

Or anything with a blue/pink color scheme. I also like ice blue and grey as well.

There are some shinies I like despite not liking the mon. Toxicroak for example has an amazing shiny, I love the color combo. Would I pick it over Malamar? No

So basically my favorite shinies are based really off my experiences playing the games and mons I've attached myself on throughout the years

[thats-it-im-fallingdown]

Here are my thoughts from my first viewing of Revenge of the Sith (as I watched it) after having seen the clone wars!

-there are heroes on both sides? really? lux left the separatists at the end of the onderon arc, and he’s the only good separatist we see

-oh boy, the kidnapping of palpatine sure sounds exciting! wish we got to see it on screen. i am not even done with the title crawl and things aren’t going well.

-hell yeah, action! I’m usually not fond of big cgi fights because it’s hard to feel a sense of scale, but this one is working for me. i wonder if it’s because cgi like this was more cutting edge and done by professional artists rather than it’s-technically-not-a-sweatshop labor.

-Hayden Christensen is.. so good as anakin. the guy voicing him on clone wars was great done get me wrong, but there’s no beating the og

-I wasn’t even alive when the prequels came out, so i can’t say for sure, but tcw is retroactively doing a lot of heavy lifting here. I’m coming into this emotionally invested in the clones and having watched anakin be nudged further and further into unhealthy attachment. See: obi wan putting the mission to save palpatine over himself and anakin putting his friend above the mission despite obi wan reprimanding him

-even when he’s “captured” palpatine is incapable of not looking like a stuffy old man. he’s shackled to a space throne

-that flip was not necessary. dooku is extra and it’s great

-obi wan is so confident that he’ll be able to take dooku like I haven’t watched him an anakin get the run around from him more than once in tcw

-the cgi of the platform falling on obi wan was. odd looking.

-I’m loving how palpatine is in full on shameless villain mode

-the fluctuations in tone are really funny to me in a way I don’t think they’re intended to be. going from dooku’s execution to “wait a minute we’re smarter than this” is giving me whiplash

-i literally can’t go for more than a minute without spotting a memed line. prequelmemes unstoppable

-about the you’re so beautiful scene between padme and anakin on the balcony.. I’m not a very advanced actor, but I do have enough experience to say that this is what poor directing looks like imo. Lucas, buddy, you have got to give them more direction. even the best of actors can’t fly by the seat of their pants for two hours

-the pearl strands on padmes nightgown look so uncomfortable to sleep in

-people tend to misunderstand why the Jedi forbid attachments, and some of it is western fans not understanding Buddhism, but I think it’s mostly the fault of scenes like the one where anakin goes to yoda about his premonition of padme dying in childbirth. it’s just… not said in a way that makes it clear that attachment should be seen as similar to possessiveness

-asking anakin to spy on palpatine, who he is close to, right when his opinion of the council is at an all time low is just.. really foolish. yes, palpatine is getting to the dictator zone at this point. yes, he’s a concern. but don’t you have someone else you could pick? he was just abducted, and if we count tcw, not even for the first time. giving him a full time Jedi bodyguard wouldn’t be unreasonable, and then you could spy on him!

-the window view cityscapes of coruscant have a beauty to them. it’s a contrast to the concrete brutalism in Andor

-that line about darth plagueis being able to create life— is he just referring to prolonging life, or is there an implication that that was how anakin was conceived?

-I’m a sucker for treehouse architecture, I can’t help but love kashyyyk’s design

-Utapau, good to see you and your wildlife fully rendered!

-getting to know all these Jedi in tcw makes seeing order 66 so much more tragic to watch. I’ve learned who aayla secura is, who plo koon is, who the clones are, so it’s so much worse watching it unfold :(

-yoda being carried by chewbacca.. a) yoda cannot resist a piggyback ride b) him being the size of a child taps into the part of my brain that fantasizes about settling down with a nice girl and having her baby with ivf. what maternal juice drugs is in that species

-tcw was often bad at portraying women (the overly sexualized costume designs, for one), but women did get more agency. I’m an hour and a half deep in this movie and padme has done next to nothing to affect the story. by agency i mean acting upon the plot. padme does not act upon the plot. she is acted upon by the other characters. hope that makes sense!

-the dialogue on mustafar is. uh. not to my liking, i have to say, but towards the end of his one on one with padme when obi wan steps out is when I could begin to see darth Vader as we know him in the original trilogy. yeah, we’ve seen how anakin is being pulled to the dark side, but he tells the council that palpatine is the sith lord. he’s friends with obi wan, practically brothers. here is when i can really connect the two in my mind

-the infamous only a sith deals in absolutes line, which is in itself an absolute. the prequels could have been incredible if only there’d been a script advisor capable of saying no to George Lucas

-the grampas are fightinggg

-the anakin obi wan fight choreography seems okay, so why is it being shot like they don’t want us to see it? only getting to see the lightsabers flashing around like a siren light makes it look like they were trying to fix a sloppy action scene in post when it looks perfectly fine

-palpatine thrown ass over teakettle onto his spinny chair. i love this movie and i wish I watched it when i was high on pain meds after getting my wisdom teeth taken out

-if yoda and obi wan had stuck together, they probably could have taken out palpatine and then vader if it was 2 on 1 for both fights. the only explanation for why they had to split up is that it had to happen for the original trilogy to still work. which isn’t all that satisfying for me

-yeaahhhh lava and volcanoes baby!!

-if i had a dollar for every time obi wan cut off a sith’s legs instead of killing them creating a nemesis with so many Problems…

-allow me to take a moment to appreciate ewan mcgregor’s acting chops throughout this whole trilogy

-the way padme and anakin parallel each other in how she’s creating life while dying and his life is saved by becoming a machine/less alive

-it makes sense to me, because of tcw season 6 finale, but qui gon being to one to rediscover becoming a force ghost must have been such a curveball when this movie first came out

-it’s not just coruscant the sky is absurdly lovely on tattooine as well??

-beru gets handed a baby out of nowhere and is like :)

hey! i did it. I’ve finally watched all of the main prequel era content. thank you for reading this far, making these posts has been fun for me. next up is going to be seeing Star Wars rebels for the first time!

[badgerstep]

(re: tawnypelt and blackstar)

@aerial-jace so!

presenting my thoughts in the form of a numbered list with some elaboration. under a readmore bc holy shit this is long

1. tawnypaw chose shadowclan out of practicality

i think there’s this assumption that tawnypaw was stupid for defecting to shadowclan since shadowclan was led by tigerstar and she was tired of being in his shadow. this definitely isn’t a wholly undeserved read considering the text never really elaborates on it. however! given that only recently has switching clans been explicitly permitted in the code, and the one example of clan switching tawnypaw would have been aware of would have been graystripe to riverclan because he had blood relatives there (his kits), and given that riverclan and windclan would both have no reason to want to accept her, it makes practical sense for her to defect to shadowclab. her father would want her there, and might potentially be bad optics for him not to accept his chid, and it would be a way for her to escape thunderclan.

i also think that she may have actually been offered blackfoot as a mentor. why wouldn’t tigerstar try to do that? he wanted his kin to be leaders, after all. but, setting up what i believe to be an ongoing thread for her character, she rejected this. she doesn’t want special treatment, she doesn’t want the same shit she was getting in thunderclan but a different flavor. she wants to have a normal upbringing.

this, i could see striking a chord with blackfoot. he’s only ever followed orders, and followed them faithfully. he’s stepped as close to power as the system would let him his whole life because what else is there? it’s something to chew on.

2. tawnypaw stays in shadowclan post tigerstar’s death

this is also interesting to me. she technically had nothing left actually tying her to shadowclan. there’s nothing stopping the new leader blackstar from telling her to fuck off and go back home because all she’ll ever be is tigerstar’s kin, right? or anyone else in shadowclan, for that matter.

nobody does that. she stays. she just fits in. shadowclan is her hone, and might as well have always been. it’s almost never even commented on post-tnp that she used to be thunderclan anyway, iirc.

blackstar’s not a father to tawnypelt, and in all honesty, considering the one she had, it’s probably for the best. he’s not her mentor, either. but she’s definitely well-respected, and enough that she’s chosen to represent all of shadowclan on the journey.

3. she never takes the deputy position

i think this is so interesting. as readers we’re already drawn to tawnypelt as a character and have an attachment to her, we want her to succeed. we kept waiting for tawnystar to happrn, right?

see my first point though. i don’t think she’d want that, not really. (i know canonically she has served as deputy a few times but in all honesty i haven’t read those books yet fkjfjdjd)

but i could definitely see her having an aversion to power. tigerstar’s whole thing was power. one of her sons looks just like him. she’s haunted by him and his ideals and she wants to prove that she’s the one in charge of the narrative, not him. so she names her child tigerkit and just tells blackstar that if he lives to be a warrior to never call him tigerclaw. anything else. and she doesn’t want power because she thinks she can do more good for herself as a regular warrior, unburdened by the thought of assuming power over others. she’s seen firsthand how damaging that can be, she was there for tigerclan.

again, a move baffling to blackstar. he uses his power to try and do what he thinks is the most good and he’s constantly led astray. tawnypelt? she’s consistent. he admires that. and i think every so often he’ll ask what she thinks and she’ll give an honest if guarded answer and that’s it. and choosing her mate specifically as deputy? well. that’s one way to ensure her input remains valuable to the clan without giving her power directly, isn’t it?

but they’re always sort of hovering near each other’s lives. it’s hard not to when you live in a clan but even harder considering, well. [gestures vaguely] both their everything.

and again, i think it’s more interesting if it’s nothing romantic or familiar or mentor/mentee. it’s just that sort of gravitational pull between people who are entwined by circumstance and also so ideologically different from one another and are forced to live together.

(i also like to think she tried to convince him not to stay in the shadowclan camp during the flood in brambkestar’s storm. i don’t recall that book well, only that blackstar stayed behind in their camp. i just picture it as this deeply somber moment, blackstar thinking his fate is sealed and that he can finally be judged between his rights and wrongs, and tawnypelt trying in vain to convince him to keep living because what is her life supposed to look like with half that push and pull missing?)

i just. i find them very interesting and i am 100% rambling on zero sleep but !!! them. no easy words for any of it but i rotate it in my mind

[fluxxdog]

So browsing semi-random vids on YouTube (as you do) and came across the “Meet the Sniper” video. For those who haven’t seen it:

And I got thinking: In writing, how important is it to differentiate the different type of life-enders?

Like when you say “assassin,” it invokes the image of someone not only paid to kill but has standards, supply chains, contingencies, an odd sort of calm. Basically, if your assassin is unstable, you have to explicitly say or show that.

If you call someone a “butcher,” you think of movies like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Blood and guts all over the place.

“Serial Killer?” That’s more or less defined as a white male, mid 20s to mid 30s, intelligent, charismatic, tends to get personal with their victims in today’s media.

It just feels like if you use one of these terms, you really lock yourself into an image where expectations are set and that standard is high. You have to really put in effort to have a character be contrary to that term.

I mean, what would you call someone who has decoded an ancient book of prophecies only to discover that they’ve now started a countdown to the end of the world that can only be averted by going to different places and killing specific people in certain ways, all of them unique. “Killer” is too generic, it’s like saying candy tasted sweet. It’s correct, but doesn’t actually convey useful information. “Serial Killer” is technically correct as they have a pattern, even if that pattern isn’t known, but that’s expecting more for the character than what they are some linguistics expert who read the wrong book. “Butcher” doesn’t work unless the crime scenes are always haphazard and messy. “Assassin” is wrong as well as the kind of expectations that term entails isn’t present with someone who just found out they doomed everybody.

All these different terms have these pretty odd weights attached to them that kind of ruin effectively conveying what they really are. Assassins are people paid to kill. Butchers are those who rely more on dismemberment, like animal butchers. Serial killer simply means someone who murders multiple people over time.

It just feels like some things have too much attached to them when they shouldn’t and it makes writing difficult when a word used for its technically correct definition suddenly adds a lot of baggage that you don’t want. Like getting a hamburger with pickles when you didn’t ask for pickles and sure you can take the pickles off but the burger will still taste like pickles and disappointment.

[sylvies-chen]

What were your thoughts on the premieres?

They were better than I expected and yet still disappointing in a lot of ways, so let me break it down by show:

MED:

Med for me was probably the worst. Dylan’s exit felt really rushed and unnecessary, his relationship with Jo was extremely underdeveloped and the writers admitted to writing him off because they didn’t know what to do with his character anymore which is either racially motivated or so fucking lazy. The Dr. Charles’ patient storyline was fine, except for that doctor on the psych rotation came out of nowhere. I absolutely hate what they did with Crockett, and they’re turning him into a total asshole. Maggie’s storyline feels ridiculous, as if she would immediately be worried about catching feelings for her old baby daddy??? Not to mention the fact that she’s happily married, though we haven’t seen Ben in ages. The camerawork and acting also felt the most soapy. We didn’t even get to see Will testify! All in all, it was a really meh episode for me and the only thing I truly loved was Guy Lockard’s acting, and April’s return!

FIRE:

My thoughts on Fire… so far this has been the most emotionally diverse. Stellaride was great as always, and that plus the Hawkami scenes were the best parts of the episode. Boden’s interactions with Stella were… dare I say out of character??? I don’t know how this storyline with Carver is going to play out, maybe Boden’s being pressured by higher-ups to put Carver on his team or he has ulterior motives, but it was so unlike him to dismiss Stella’s concerns and her opinions about this guy. And then to proceed to micromanage her??? I was very confused. I’m glad she stuck up to him though! But again, I don’t know if that’s leading to something or if it was just really ooc writing so I’m not going to judge that storyline quite as harshly yet. And now, onto the real talk of the town for 11x01, Brettsey. Ohhhhh, Brettsey. You were done so incredibly dirty. I said this on Twitter but I’ll say it here too: the most infuriating part of this breakup to me, apart from the lazy writing in bringing Kyle back and having dragged the LDR out so long before making it all for nothing, is the “the stars just didn’t align” motif that they strung throughout this episode for Sylvie. If your timing is off with someone then fine, yes, that’s ok. Right person wrong time is a valid trope. But “the stars didn’t align”???? Really??? What kind of corny Hallmark crap is that?? It paints love as some fantasy or stroke of fate, and it’s not that. Everything they put in this episode went against the core of Matt and Sylvie as characters, and robbed them of their agency. Love in real life is WORK. It is a CHOICE. It is a COMMITMENT. Sylvie knew what she was getting herself into, and the change in attitude that was so quick and so ooc after the “when yk, yk” moment is the product of extremely sloppy and borderline sexist writing, because these writers have no idea how to write Sylvie and they understand nothing about her. All in all, this was an extremely frustrating episode and though it had more good elements to it than Med, it was still disappointing.

PD:

I honestly don’t even know how to feel about PD. I actually really loved seeing Torres back, I’m so excited to see him interact with the unit and Jay smiling at him was so cute! And I’m not going to lie that the visual/hypothetical idea of Hank Voight walking around this ghost town of a hood like a lone ranger, howling winds, keeping the criminal behaviour at bay, it’s an interesting concept to me. But his shit… his corrupt, violent, obsessive shit… it’s gone on for too long. The fact that he’s doing this as a cop, with a badge on, ruins everything. So whereas I’d say PD is definitely the best produced show, with solid camerawork and attention to technical details, the show paints itself more like an episode of Daredevil or The Punisher, with Voight being the morally grey vigilante. Only problem is, they’re attaching this behaviour directly to the CPD, which makes it— yep, like it’s always been— a copaganda. As for the Jay/Hailey/Voight thing… I don’t know what to think of it. That scene felt so weird to me, it was hard to read the vibe apart from just “tension.” Where do Jay and Hailey stand after this? How are they going to lead this to Jesse’s exit? I don’t know. But I’m getting a liiiiiittle tired of this trio’s drama and their disagreements on policing that have been happening for three seasons now. I liked it for a while, I really did, but now it feels overused and like they’re deliberately sidelining other characters and storylines just to make room for this. I know they need to let Jesse leave but I’m just not seeing the big picture right now. The rough, tough, brutish tension is not enough for me anymore, no matter how complex Voight is.

Anyway, these are my thoughts on the episodes! I’m hoping this sounded reasonably harsh and that you feel free to comment your own thoughts, anon! And to the other anon in my inbox asking about my thoughts on Fire, I hope this ask provides enough answers for you!!