#don’t know about jeanne herself - i don’t know if she ever actually had any relationships? but her sister was a lesbian!

[slugchild]

You Have Beautiful Hands (1929) and Two Women Dancing (1928) - Jeanne Mammen

[hellsvestibule]

Seee if nobody else got me I know @zeravmeta got me. Please please pleaseee….I…insane clown p-ussy...

I think in his interactions w Anyone really. he needs to be read as pretentiously playing the “devil you know.” Like, as you mentioned here for Jeanne this takes the form of like, an unhinged desperate man turning to her for forgiveness. But he changes his personality up a bit w everyone he talks to in a way that mirrors their perceived insecurities. All of its genuinely Him because he has a strong personality, but he also has very strong paralels to every character I can think about him having any sustained interaction w. I can’t even really get into all of them cuz I’d be here forever but I’ll rant a bit about some scenes he has w Jeanne, mash, the one valentines scene w Kama, his general shtick w nursery rhyme. And how murder at the kogetsukan is actually imo important to understanding who he is at heart.

The thing is in each case I can think of where he does this, the reality is he’s more similar to the person he’s trying to disturb than the person whose evil behavior he’s imitating. Or is equally similar to both and kind of bridges the theological gap between them a bit maybe. Like, w jeanne, it’s not just that he’s behaving like Gilles, he is also situationally a lot like Jalter, he himself is some weird horny old man’s botched lab experiment out to avenge himself and others like him, but also, his approach to this feels more abstract and inhuman than Jalter , more adjascent to jeanne herself, and I think that’s meaningful bc she sort of theologically distances herself from Jalter but here is a guy who is batshit in both ways. He enacts good will through force of evil deeds which distance him from being able to hold normal relationships, the type of morality I don’t think Jeanne who holds tight to goodness for goodness sake, or even most normal people, can really begin to comprehend, but it’s also, the same way others can’t comprehend her insistence that she’d hold tight to goodness no matter what is done to her. Both are simultaneously, totally reasonable for latching onto the abstract concepts of good and evil within their own perspective. But totally incomprehensible to anyone who isn’t also. like that. Sure Mephy may have the “selfish” Jalter adjacent motives of a victim lashing out to avenge himself in an undignified attempt to gain dignity. But also, like, fatalistic understanding of the will of god as something he serves at his own expense, means he kind of is a saint and martyr in his own weird way. When I say serving the will of god I don’t mean happily so, he even says to guda he wants to help them kill god, bc. Well, he’s the worst Big Daddy upstairs of them all. But he’s still a big daddy who can smite you like an insect, so you have to play by his rules. Mephy wants to make everyone think he’s evil, bc he wants to become a real devil, bc that’s what he thinks he exists to be, what will give him power to avenge himself, and so he’s purposely denigrating himself to an inhuman construct to achieve it, and a portion of the audience apparently buys it, bc just being an arrogant asshole dressed like a creepy clown is enough to rub a lot of people the wrong way. But imo he holds a similar type of arrogance as Jeanne’s in this regard. He’s holding himself to an impossible standard of both good and evil so he kind of had the right to call it out in her even if he’s a hypocrite, which he is in every interaction w everyone. And also, even the parallel to Gilles has multi tiered meaning, since Faust is often portrayed as a child abuser, and so is mephisto in the Goethe play, and he sort of ends said play lamenting his obsession w innocence and purity and inability to ever possess it being his downfall... and like, our Mephy, i would guess, despite the conflicting framing of him, probably doesn’t want to become that, but might sort of think this is his natural disposition or fate, simply bc the things he’s implied about Faust or at least how he perceives him. So only Jeanne can save him from becoming and committing evil like that right? But like. No. She can’t. Bc he’s not her devil. And she shouldn’t even really be held responsible for Gilles, or any other unhinged guy needing her forgiveness. Mephy is pointing out how many people approach her w this whim that she can make them fucking normal if she just hits them hard in the head w a brick. This is normal to her but it’s pitiful it’s normal and she accepts it as such, which he probably wants her to admit, bc his repeated theme across these interactions is that he just wants people to be happy and reject creeps like him, but tells them in the cruelest way possible. which brings me to. Mash!! Bc it paralels his behavior towards her too.

When he first meets Mash in garden of order, he says a bunch of things that are brought back as specific notes of contention within her dynamic w Beryl during the lostbelts (and also Pepe and Kadoc to some degree) He says he’s like her big brother in an attempt to get her guard down, which Fujimaru chips in instead of letting it fly as ironic or cruel like yeah yeah, you’re like her big brother, encouraging him in a positive way bc Fujimaru believes in everyone’s capacity to be equals, flying in the face of mephistos assumptions Fujimaru only likes mash bc her lack of agency and rebelliousness, so they would consequently hate him for being. Not a nice sweet submissive person. This is true of Mash in this point of the story, she has little agency in the earlier chapters, and if you understand his character you understand he actually relates to this and is genuinely horrified on her behalf, but is phrasing it more like it’s in a pitiful inconvenience than w the kindness it actually needs to be said, the same thing kadoc did which is why I point out it’s not just beryl even if it’s mostly beryl.

Bc he also says he watched his roommate repeatedly sever the arms of his family members every night, and due to his conditioning by Faust sacrificing humans (supposedly to aid in his creation) doesn’t know if this is done as an act of abuse or love, specifically adjascent to what beryl does to her and what she asks after. At this point in the story you haven’t met Beryl, but Mash still clearly dislikes this, she becomes visibly uncomfortable and for a short bit after that is slightly hesitant towards mephisto, but she also like, gets over it really quickly after she sees him attack his “bad” selves, stepping in to be like, oh, ok, I see you are trying to become a better person despite having been mislead and used as a proxy for other peoples violence. She Gets it. She’s the first to sort of commit to the repeated theme w Mephy, that everyone he attempts to harass is actually hesitantly accepting and compassionate towards him and willing to relate to him, he’s the one who most struggles to accept this possibility of having normal loved ones who care and understand him and not just bc they are naive and mislead by him. Bc if everyone trusts him not due to naïveté but due to recognition of everything he embodies. He loses power as a (theoretical) devil. He is obviously, regardless of his status as a know it all, mostly just a petulant traumatized child, with no real power over anyone. That’s both the sad and hopeful thing. Power is bad for him, it’s the corrupting force which will help him actualize into a real devil. But conversely he’s the easiest villain to defeat and in some ways purposefully so, because deep in his heart he doesn’t actually want to win. He just wants to be innocent, if someone does not give him any power over them by reacting with violence or hate, he utterly flounders. Devils only exist if you will them too, but nobody here wants the devil, they want Mephy to be whoever Mephy actually is, some sort of, weird pathetic clown guy who is sort of sweet and sort of an asshole? and that’s incredibly agonizing to him bc he doesn’t know who the fuck that is without Faust. He has very little personhood outside of Faust and yet constantly boasts his independence and freedom, for understandable reasons.

Preoccupation with avenging lost innocence is a good segueway to the valentines scene with Kama I think. Also note, I use Kama and Sakura sort of interchangeably here but I recognize they still separate characters. To me this scene reads as the character Kama wanting to offer something nice to the character child Sakura. But I sort of mush them together when discussing them.

IMO if you don’t understand these characters backstories still haunt them, this scene might fly totally past the radar as anything important, because Kama is trying to downplay her engagement in any of these scenes, so it’s played for silly and awkward in context. But that’s just any scene Mephy is in, and you have to look past it for what it really is. Kama is pretending to be a child at the park w her dad, sort of, mimicking maybe one of the last happy memories of childhood Sakura has, and Mephy is clearly here to play the villain, he doesn’t even really have to Try to be sakuras devil bc he’s already at glance an amalgamation of the worst traits of all the family members who hurt her but. Also. He’s a stranger,,, or more so, they sort of imply they concocted this scenario ahead of time and are just really bad actors motivated by the same wants, who are using each other as pawns for each others evil ends (showing the hypocrisy central to their approach).

However. Your feelings of dread are kind of mitigated by the obvious fact no one here wants to play out a depraved or traumatic scenario bc it clearly hits them too close to home. I think the implication given by their backstories is they are waiting to see if you are a creepy or innept dad towards child kama, because Mephy as we know from how he talks about Vicky Frank in London, is basically itching to smash literally every shitty dads shitty face in. but of course guda isn’t a shitty dad, so they’re left w nothing but a really awkward setup they’re trying to play off as meaningless that kinda screams like, this isnt meaningless and petty at all actually, both really wish their fucking parental figures had taken them to oniland instead of committing human rights violations. They did not get to have normal childhoods and so they implicitly. want this nice little fantasy to play out for child Sakura. without phrasing it as such bc that kind of open admission of vulnerability is forbidden, so mephisto, as usual, will play the villain to his dying breath, bc he won’t ever directly admit he’s traumatized. Neither will Kama of course, but this is -their- valentines scene, which necessitates them revealing more than he does. It goes to show how hard mephisto will self denigrate until the other party confronts their inner demons, and that’s bc the clown in him that exists to be humiliated and despised, which Kama has to give in to bc a god of love can only go so far in that capacity. So it feels like Kama is both. Irritated by the pretentiousness of this . He ends up being less like shinji or his father or zouken and more like Kariya, and that’s still shitty and traumatizing in its own way. Mephisto prefaces this scene as him being creepy but what he’s really doing is going oh poor baby whatever you’re going through is more important than having my own similar problems be understood. And of all things, that’s what fucks this scene up. She’s trying to brush off why this scenario or any of these scenarios exist bc she’s never dealt w this pain and assumed she could preface all of this w ironic detatchment. But still! Going to a park is something kariya and her mom used to do w her and her sister, showing she might not have actually totally forgotten what this type of thing means and holds sentimental attatchemt to the idea of it (a theme park just ups the ante and the fantasy aspect of it) But also do you really think Kama would admit they want this sort of sentimental thing unironically? So Mephy the clown must prove he is a worse more traumatized asshole than Kama , so she can admit by proxy she just wants to act like a normal innocent kid for a day, she doesn’t have to thank him for this role or even care about him, but she still points out hes not evil, that he does this as a pretentious part of being what he is, and she focuses on the one thing that’s Not familiar. Clown. he’s sticking to the act of a horrible despicable clown, even on Valentine’s Day, bc hes a very pathetic man scared of being loved, and would probably sooner die than admit that. kama does the big person thing, accepts the shallow pretense they brought you here w for the paradoxical depth it has, this is a normal scenario of a little girl at the theme park with her dad, who had a brush in with a creepy clown and just wants to feel protected and loved. Both of them are too detatched to tell Why you any of this was necessary, it’s the context of what they’ve said and done before now you need to read into, It actually makes me really sad to think about.

Also this is why I’m convinced Mephy is concious and self aware in murder at the kogetsukan. Even the naming convention and setup follows everything you see from the established patterns of interactions, the names of the violet family have a lot of biblical conventions which feel too convoluted to ignore the symbolism of. (Also, that dancing with Eve and Lilith is something he and Faust do in the play, and gorgon taking Margaret’s face in the same scene, there’s just a lot of weird little meta bits in here) Mephy’s character is named Cain, which imo gives him an excuse to break the fourth wall 4th wall and literally just be a self possessed actor rather than narratively lacking self awareness. Named after Gods grandson, whom God dismisses because his sacrifice of plant instead of meat is deemed less significant, and so he becomes possessed by the devil and enraged, and imo this is paraleling mephistos preoccupation w his doll body, how it implicitly makes him feel inherently objectified and worthless and inhuman. Like. Valentines day he gives you a pet which will explode and simulate artificial death, and tells you he wants you to see it as a mascot more worthy than fou. Or when you give him chocolate he’s like (clown screech) my heart valve is pumping. Constantly reminding you he isn’t human and feels awful about it. He thinks his own life and death is meaningless because he is artificial which is why he’s a self sacrificing individual. While maybe not concious and self aware. Ignore everything Moriarty says abt the faces not being significant? They are, Lancelot is cast as and is subsequently the perfect father to this stand in for mephisto bc he’s also struggling w these same feelings and told it all to kariya back in fate zero, and he’s worried he’s a bad dad who would objectify or traumatize his kid, something you see Moriarty needle him for in grand carnival albeit played for laughs at the fact that usually Lancelot is the one who ends up objectified, but Moriarty is also someone who needles peoples trauma when trying to help them. But Lancelot’s like, not what people assume him to be, he’s a genuinely loving person, and so is his character by proxy, so the second “Cain” realizes this, he has a massive sentimental breakdown where he says he loves his family and wants to save them, and I think this is important not to distance the characters 100% from the npcs in this moment bc it shows major facets of Mephisto and Lancelot that often get ignored or misunderstood, and lets mephisto actually commit to his genuine issue of just wanting a dad who loves him normally and showcases that Lancelot actually is so good he wouldn’t care if he’s in a family unit wher he’s a cuckold or his kid is a crazy loser like him, the things people sort of assume he’s preoccupied w being like the possession of another man’s wife or having the perfect child, but like, no, he genuinely just wants to love the people he’s with in the moment but is hesitant to attempt it. the event isn’t totally uncorrelated to the faces the npcs have at all. For some people at least (Mephy, Lancelot, Moriarty, and Mordred off the top of my head) all had some deep seated desire or other fulfilled by this scenario . (Sherlock npc dies, mordred npc has a dick) I can’t really rationalize the others but these 4 at least are super obvious, and it’s part of why I want to “blame” mephisto bc I think out of everyone his reasons for wanting this and ability to put it into place as a mythological wish granter who concocts dreams, makes the most sense motive wise, and also, the deadly fever guda falls under as well as the fantasy concocted are both things mephistos poison is capable of in faust. But I might be missing something, it’s possible like the drama Cd or something I don’t remember revealed a culprit behind the “it was all a dream” thing, but I just think it’s notable that for mephisto there is no barrier between dreams and reality.

Also I should probably mention the importance of his dynamic w nursery rhyme mirroring the absense of what he and Kama don’t have? She calls him uncle mephy and is clearly like, trying to talk him out of his nihilistic suicidal outlook of reality. Bc well whatever, they are both helpless broken dolls but also, she has reason to form sentimental attatchment to clowns, they -are- familiar to her, Faust was one of the first plays put on by pantomime, clown theatre, as was the goose that laid the golden egg, a story about sacrificing something loyal to you so you can reap the immediate benefits of its labor. and I think the latter was one of the performances where mother goose went from a folklore figure to having a canon physical appearance (and you can see as of fgo she still does not, she’s still using Alice’s appearance) and there’s even more nameplay going on w the paralels to kariya she’s invoking w the uncle Mephy shtick making them like kariya and Sakura, kariyas name means “wild goose” and being sent on a wild goose chase is a euphemism for becoming lost in pursuit of something you desire. Mephy doesn’t seem to accept anything in reality as anything but nonsense and farce, yet he constantly imbues every attempt at nonsense and trivializing peoples problems w a huge load of painful sincerity. mother goose is, itself, a book of mostly nonsense. But its sentimental purpose as a familiar children’s book and folklore brushes against his, saying “you have a home here” something he’s obviously in severe denial of wanting but also manages to make 90% of his personality. Mephisto at the start of faust is literally just a lost dog looking for a home. @zeravmeta mentioned how little of Mephy is even allowed to be himself, and he exists mostly through others and like, yeah! There’s more paralels than there is Mephy at a certain point. every “joke” scene Mephy is in is actually majorly sad and fucked up the moment you take a minute to dissect it. Bc he’s convinced trauma makes him funny, when it only paradoxically makes him funny by sheer force of how unfunny he is.

[barely-alive-shrimp]

About PSP Jeanne d’Arc ’s historical references

You know, Jeanne d’Arc for PSP is a funny game: while clearly not being very historically accurate (orcs and magical armlets in the Hundred Years’ War? Huh, they don’t tell you about things like that on History lessons), it still contains some interesting nods to history, some of which are quite obscure. I’ve collected some of them, mostly about historical figures and some events that I consider to be most interesting. This is going to be a long post, and there will be some spoilers, but I’ll put a warning so you could skip that part if you haven’t played the whole game yet. Oh, and sorry for any mistakes – I’m not a native speaker, so I hope there won’t be too many of them. I tried my best :P

[Note: I kept referring to her as Jeanne d’Arc here, although, as far as I understand, it is more common to call her Joan of Arc in English. I’ll leave it as it is, if you don’t mind ^^’]

Okay, I think I’ll start with the characters. There are quite a lot of characters who were based off real people: aside from the most obvious ones (Jeanne d’Arc, Gilles de Rais, Henry VI, Charles VII and some others), we have the following (I tried to find some paintings and pictures where possible):

Jean and Bertrand are based off Jean de Metz and Bertrand de Poulengy, who were Jeanne’s trusted allies during the Hundred Years’ War. They both had great respect for Jeanne and escorted her on her journey to the dauphin.

Colet’s prototype is most likely Colet de Vienne, a royal messenger who also escorted Jeanne d’Arc on her way to Chinon. Little is known about him, other than that he was accompanied by an archer named Richard – probably a prototype for Marcel. I guess they changed his name so he won’t be confused with the other Richard, who is also a playable character. By the way, it seems that the name ‘Marcel’ means “little warrior” in French, so if game developers chose that name intentionally (and I think they did), that’s a very nice little touch!

Étienne de Vignolles, more known as La Hire, was among France’s best commanders and was one of Jeanne d’Arc’s most trusted allies. Described as quite an arrogant man, he was a fearsome warrior and fought alongside Jeanne at Orleans and during the Battle of Patay. You can also find this prayer of his: “God, I pray Thee that today Thou wilt do for La Hire that which Thou wouldst have La Hire do for Thee, if he were God and Thou wert La Hire.” – perhaps, much like his in-game version, he did have a habit of talking about himself in the third person.

Richard was probably based off Brother Richard, a Franciscan monk who knew Jeanne. I couldn’t find any other information about him, though, except for this design for an opera.

The next one is a bit of a stretch, to be honest. It seems Bartolomeo does have a historical prototype, but it’s not clear who it was; he may or may not be based off Bartolomeo d'Alviano, an Italian captain who fought on the side of Spain against France. He didn’t have much to do with the Hundred Years’ War, though; moreover, he was born after Jeanne was burned at the stake.  

Robert de Baudricourt was a captain of the royal garrison at Vaucouleurs. When Jeanne d’Arc came to him, saying she has a mission from God and asking for assistance, he was very skeptical at first, but since Jeanne was very persistent, he eventually provided her an escort to visit the Dauphin. The game didn’t change it much.

John Talbot was an English military commander known as “English Achilles” for his bravery. Despite being one of the most feared warriors, he was respected so much that when he was captured, Charles VII released him without asking for ransom.

Sir William Glasdale was an English captain who commanded the troops in the fort Les Tourelles. Jeanne d’Arc wrote a letter to him, pleading him to lift the siege of the fort, but he refused to do so, and Jeanne’s troops started the assault to take Les Tourelles back. During the assault, Glasdale fell into the Loire River and drowned, as his armor was too heavy. 

Both Georges de La Trémoille and Arthur de Richemont were indeed Charles’s trusted servants. Georges also survived an attempt of assassination – as described, “thanks to his obesity”, and, as you can see in the game, the developers had that part in their heads, as well. :) Here’s a picture of Arthur de Richemont, I couldn’t find any paintings of real life Georges de La Trémoille, but I’ll add a picture of his in-game version a bit later.

There’s an interesting detail about Charles VII himself: have you ever looked at his in-game portrait and thought: “Man, they didn’t have to draw him such a big nose”? Well, that’s probably because real Charles VII was actually described as a man with a big nose! That’s another “well done” to the game developers.

As for Bedford – his actual name was John of Lancaster, ‘The Duke of Bedford’ was only his title. I don’t know, maybe that’s obvious, but I spent a good part of walkthrough thinking Bedford was his name. His real name not being mentioned and all the other characters calling him just “Bedford” certainly didn’t help. :P

                                                             * * *

All right, now I’m going to dive into some historical events and characters’ relationships that might spoil some events of the game for you. Please, go to the “SPOILERS END” mark if you haven’t finished the game yet and want to see everything for yourself.

                                                          SPOILERS

  Okay, first of all, the game heavily implies Charles VII had a difficult relationship with his mother, Isabeau of Bavaria. Real life Isabeau of Bavaria claimed that Charles VII wasn’t the trueborn son of Charles VI, thus couldn’t be the rightful king of France, so I doubt the queen loved her son very much. The game tries to explain it with the demonic possession of Isabeau – still, her last words before she was (presumably) killed by Henry VI/Gilvaroth were confusing and quite out-of-nowhere to me.

Georges de La Trémoille disliked Jeanne d’Arc and, as some historians believe, was involved in a plot against her that ultimately led to her death – both in real life and the game. Of course, we all remember that in the game it wasn’t Jeanne who ended up at the stake…

The Battle of Patay (June, 1489) was one of Jeanne d’Arc’s greatest victories during the Hundred Years’ war. In this battle, the feared “Terror of French” John Talbot was finally captured. I’m not sure if this one was intended or not, but this stage in the game is the last time you see Talbot – well, not until he suddenly reappears late in the game, only to help you and never to be seen again. 

Do you remember the part where Liane went overwhelmed with her great power and responsibility (hehe) and tried to recapture Paris by herself? Real Jeanne d’Arc also tried to break the siege of Paris, but the attempt failed and she and her troops were ordered to withdraw. After that, the nobles’ disappointment with her had reached its highest point, and Jeanne’s fate was pretty much sealed – much like Liane’s. 

And, of course, the darkest nod to the history is Gilles de Rais, known as a serial killer and possibly a pedophile (there are some historians who believe he was framed, but that’s not the point for now). On the other hand, in-game Gilles is a nice and noble guy and never betrays you or does something violent. At the end of the game, he sacrifices himself so Gilvaroth would be trapped inside of his body, and, considering the real history, the demon probably got him in the end. This reference is more well-known and has been discussed at several forums, but I still cannot help but mention it. 

Also, on a less disturbing note – see how Gilles is drawn with a lily? That’s because Charles VII allowed de Rais to add this flower on their family crest, which was considered a great honor, as lily symbolized the power of the Crown (that’s what I heard, at least). 

                                                    SPOILERS END

 These are the most interesting historical references of the game, in my opinion. Thank you for reading and feel free to correct me and/or add the details I’ve missed! My DM is closed for now, but you can correct me via reblogs, if you want. ^^

[bemused-writer]

VNC Chapter 45 Analysis

This chapter had a little bit of everything and I love it. So much. There are also numerous implications throughout and they've all given me some food for thought. The first thing I want to go over is Jeanne, Dominique, and romance. These two are approaching things very differently, which Dominique herself is all-too-aware of. It took Luca pointing out that Jeanne was talking about Vanitas as if she loved him, but once she had the realization for herself, she decided to pursue it wholeheartedly. Not so for Dominique, who has literally known her entire life who she loves and has never said anything. Jeanne is, in fact, very forward now that she knows she loves Vanitas. In fact, her sentiment about love is kind of similar to the description Vanitas gave to Noé.

That's back when Vanitas was pretending to be in love, but judging by how he was acting last chapter, I'd say he now has the "symptoms" for real. Jeanne is a lot more honest; she uses the same description, but only when she genuinely means it. It's also notable that she and Vanitas are handling things very differently (unsurprisingly). Vanitas is utterly horrified and spent the entire day panicking and sulking. Jeanne is excited and planning how to make things go her way. Speaking of making things go her way....

Um, what even, Jeanne? XD The symbolism here is pretty clear: Jeanne is on the prowl and Vanitas is her prey. I've also seen an alternate translation that implies she's more worried about drinking all of his blood? Either way, it's pretty aggressive and it fits in more with Jeanne's "real" personality, so to speak. That straightforward, exuberant child that just goes for what she wants. It sounds like Jeanne's mother was also pretty aggressive, judging by the advice she gave her on how to win over men. Honestly, I feel like this explains so much about Jeanne.... "She got my father by pushing and pushing and pushing until she'd made him hers." It's a little concerning. 8D Maybe the reason she has, um, bad definitions of consent and all that is because of who she's been learning from? Understandably, Dominique is horrified by all of this (and so is Luca). She thinks courtship should be infinitely more traditional than what Jeanne and Vanitas have concocted.

Every single objection Dominique has is completely overruled. Vanitas doesn't want someone who will fall for him? Jeanne will just get really good at acting! Vanitas has been awful to her? He's also saved her! Their courtship is too aggressive? Her mom said it was fine! But Dominique has other things on her mind, such as why anyone would fall for Vanitas instead of Noé and just a ton of personal insecurity regarding herself and her relationship with Noé.

I think Dominique's crush is making itself known... But she thinks about all of Jeanne's good traits, such as her smile and confidence, which all leads to one dreary conclusion: she's the wrong woman for Noé.

This image in particular suggests that Dominique thinks Noé must be interested in Jeanne for her all of that, but also because she's sexually aggressive. She's thinking of her sister, who was basically criticizing her for being a prude. She's basically seeing all of Jeanne's good points as her own personal failings. Now, I find this interesting for a lot of reasons. Originally, I had thought Dominique assumed Noé was interested in Vanitas because, frankly, that makes the most sense to me. But this has made it clear she thinks Noé is interested in Jeanne. And that... actually doesn't make sense? She says "I can see why she'd be on his mind." But we, the readers, know exactly what has been on Noé's mind and Jeanne has not been a feature whatsoever. He has been thinking about Vanitas almost nonstop. He's even talked to Dominique about Vanitas quite a bit. The only memories Dominique has of Noé thinking about Jeanne is when he looked backwards at the Bal Masqué (he could have been looking at Dominique or everybody) and that one time they all had lunch together. But, as far as we know, Noé has never mentioned Jeanne to her. He has mentioned Vanitas. That's why she knows Vanitas doesn't want to be involved with anyone who could love him. And I think this is a blind spot for Dominique. She doesn't understand why Jeanne likes Vanitas. The thought of Noé liking Vanitas is probably so repugnant and insane to her she can't even fathom it. Also, while I know Dominique is wishing she were more like Jeanne, the way she compliments her still kind of sounds like she's interested in her, even if she hasn't realized it. "I didn't know she could smile like that." "It made me think I had to protect her, and yet..." "You can't take your eyes off her." I don't know. There are a lot of romance possibilities in this series. XD I do have to admit that, on a personal note, Noé/Jeanne as a canon pairing would take me by surprise simply because it's so underdeveloped compared to the other possibilities we've looked at? It's definitely not impossible, but I feel like we'd need to start building it up pretty soon to make this feel like a proper ship. Noé/Dominique would make a lot more sense; they have the history, the buildup, the one-sided pining... Food for thought. Anyway. By the end of the conversation, Dominique is obsessively thinking of Noé and how she is nothing like Jeanne and therefore will never have Noé as she dreams. Luca gives her a surprised look and then we cut to Noé himself.

This is incredibly suspicious. 8D But before I get into my guesses on all of that, I'll take a look at Noé and Vanitas's conversation. Noé has a look of exasperation when we cut to him, and I honestly can't blame him. It's nighttime. Vanitas has literally been panicking the entire day. I would be a little exasperated, too. He tries to reason with him by pointing out he'll catch a cold. No results. He brings up a potential curse bearer. No results once more. Things are bad. So, Noé does what he's best at: he tells the complete and utter truth of what's on his mind and gives Vanitas his own personal analysis of events, including his thoughts on Vanitas himself. Astolfo is the first person he's ever met that genuinely hates vampires. It's also the first time we've ever heard Noé say he hates someone. That's kind of incredible to me. But then, even more interesting, Noé follows up with the difference between Vanitas and Astolfo. Noé is someone who can connect the dots and he's immediately realized that Vanitas and Astolfo have eerily similar backgrounds.

Noé: ...and it could have been you I fought in Gévaudan. The butterfly motif brings to mind another image with butterflies:

I've analyzed this picture before, but now I'm thinking those red butterflies might represent all the paths Vanitas could have taken, but the one he did take took him to Noé. Furthermore, Vanitas's path is now Noé's. But probably the most important bit is right at the end. Noé: That day, on La Baleine, I'm glad the man I met called himself a vampire specialist, not a chasseur. And it's followed by:

Noé knows what he's saying sounds awfully fond, knows Vanitas is not in a great headspace for that kind of thing, so he follows up by saying he still doesn't like Vanitas. But he still looks incredibly fond as he says it, so I think it's safe to say he's just trying to spare Vanitas at this point. The expression on Vanitas's face is something like surprise and/or awe. He certainly wasn't expecting Noé to start praising him. But even with that, he still finishes with a compliment. Noé: I'm glad you're the person you are now. I know it's really arbitrary, but I wanted to make sure I told you.

He tells him at a distance because he knows Vanitas likes his personal space. He claims not to like Vanitas because he knows he has difficulty with affection. He knew Vanitas wasn't going to come inside for his health, so he brought a blanket with him. Noé has gotten extremely good at reading Vanitas and it shows in throughout this entire exchange. Vanitas's reaction is cut off, but to me it seems like he's having a hard time believing what he's hearing.

Is he angry because Noé has essentially revealed he overheard his conversation with Roland? Is he sad because, as far as he's concerned, he's being changed by his feelings for Jeanne and literally being rewritten by his mark? Or is it fear because it's pretty apparent Noé does like him and cares about him? Perhaps we'll get a better look at that later this arc. As things stand, Dominique is having a terrible go of things. She was on the rooftop, presumably listening in on Vanitas and Noé's conversation, and almost certainly sent there by Misha, who is disappointed she has once again failed to bring Noé to him. Dominique also has blood on her face. She has attacked someone and is losing awareness of what she's doing.

That sounds like a curse bearer to me. And what was it Noé mentioned earlier? That there was evidence of a curse bearer in Paris. So, my main prediction for this arc is that Dominique is a curse bearer, the very curse bearer causing trouble in Paris. Charlatan took advantage of her unrequited feelings for Noé. Misha is either a vampire or is working for Charlatan and is manipulating her into doing these things. He's now using her as bait to lure out Noé. Of course, the main question is why Noé and not Vanitas? Misha is, supposedly, Vanitas's little brother. Perhaps jealousy? Also, how did Dominique leave things off with Luca and Jeanne? Who did she attack? Did she attack Luca and Jeanne? I suppose I'm going to have to wait to find out.... But, as for Luca, he has a brother for a curse bearer. I wouldn't be surprised if he recognizes the symptoms in Dominique. So, those are my main thoughts. But I would like to talk a little bit about translation here. Some forewarning: my Japanese is not the best, so if a native speaker or someone who is further along in their studies has any corrections, please feel free to do so. The first one is related to Misha. He calls Dominique "Mademoiselle Dominique" and Noé "Monsieur Noé" in the English version. This is ... kind of just wrong. In Japanese it's "Oneechan" and "Noé-oniichan." So, big sister and big brother. It has a far cutesier vibe in Japanese, but the English translation makes it seem like Misha is a refined villain while in Japanese he seems more like there's a disconnect between his speech and behavior. The other thing is when Noé says "Of course, I still don't like you or anything."  In Japanese it's kind of more... like a question? Alluding to there being another possibility than what he's saying? "Mochiron, ore wa ima de mo anta no koto o suki ja arimasen ga?" It sounds more like "Of course, even now I still don't like you, but?" Also, I think it's important to remember that when Vanitas says he "loves" Jeanne or that no one could "fall" for him and when Jeanne says she "loves" Vanitas or when Noé says he doesn't "like" Vanitas, every single one of them is using the same word, "suki." This is something that's kind of hard to do in English, but while Noé is no doubt thinking of that first time he told Vanitas he "doesn't like him" in the above panel, he's directly thinking of Vanitas when he said "As if anyone could fall for a person like me." Basically, you could translate it as Noé saying "I still don't like you" or "I still haven't fallen for you" because in Japanese it's the same word. *shrug* Nobody is saying "daisuki," though, which would be the really powerful confession. 8D And that's all I got for now! I might try to smooth out some of this later; I had so many thoughts... Let me know if you guys have any theories or thoughts (or Japanese corrections...) ^^

[summahsunlight]

The First Step

Word Count: 3320

Characters: Tim McGee, Tony DiNozzo, others mentioned

Summary: Sometimes we just need a friend to help us get back on our feet. Tony and McGee friendship fic.

A/N: This was the first ever NCIS fic I wrote.  Originally posted on FF (which I’m slowly moving away from to AO3). Link to the AO3 story is posted below. As I post more NCIS stories, I will create a master list. Enjoy!

AO3

Timothy McGee could not believe he was about to do this, but he steeled himself and banged on his partner's door—loudly.

It had been four days since anyone had spoken to Tony DiNozzo. He was ignoring cell phone calls, landline calls and emails. Effectively the federal agent had shut himself up in his apartment and off from the world. Abby was in tears most of the time, Gibbs snarled at McGee at every opportunity he got. The poor green agent that had been assigned to the now empty desk had only lasted a day before she ran from the building in hysterics herself.

Everything had fallen apart four days ago. And he wasn't even embellishing like Tony. Ziva's abrupt departure had thrown them all into a topsy-turvy, spiral, where some of them were fairing better than others.

"Come on, DiNozzo, I know you're in there!" Tim hissed. "Abby traced your cell."

Slowly the door to the apartment opened and all fight left Tim as a hallow look peered back at him from heavy lidded hazel eyes. It appeared Tony had not shaved—or showered for the matter—in a week. An unkempt beard covered his face, his skin, which usually had a healthy tan to it, was a gray pallor, and his breath reeked of stale beer and whiskey. "Tony?" He gasped, pale green eyes widening. "What the hell?"

"Oh, nice to see you too, McGee" Tony snapped but there was no bite behind it.

Tim realized he was looking at a man that was defeated. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen Tony quite like this. Not even after the break-up with Jeanne had the man gone on what was most appropriately deemed a bender. Tony was warped into a man that Tim didn't even know anymore. "Listen, I'm sorry. That came out wrong. But your appearance…it's not what I'm used too and we've been worried about you since we got the news that Ziva was leaving. Ducky said you needed your space. But Abby wanted to storm the gates—this was the compromise."

Tony grunted a response and threw open the door, allowing Tim access to his domain. The usually neat and orderly apartment was in disarray. Dirty clothes were tossed everywhere, pizza boxes towered on the dining room table, and beer bottles accented as many empty surfaces as possible. Ironically the only thing that could be considered clean was the goldfish bowl. Kate the goldfish happily swam around her bowl, in pristine water, and Tim realized that there was a sliver of hope that deep down Tony was still Tony—he still cared about something.

For a moment Tim watched as Tony plopped back down onto his sofa, eyes focused on the screen on some movie that the younger man had no idea about. There was a bottle of Jack Daniels on the coffee table and he winced at the implications of that. His partner had moved on from beer to the heavy stuff. He supposed that all men had a breaking point—he just never believed Tony DiNozzo was amongst them. Abby had once said that he was a solid rock. It took a lot to chip him and everything just rolled off of him and he kept going.

But was that a fair description? Tony was, despite the juvenile nature, very complex.

"So, um, Abby and I were wondering if you'd meet us for drinks later," Tim ventured.

Tony reached for his bottle of whiskey and took a swig. "Got plenty of drinks here."

Tim winced. That had been a dumb question. It was obvious that Tony had been drinking since he'd come back from tracking down Ziva. He knew it was none of his business but he desperately wanted to know what she had said to Tony to shove him on this self-destructive path. "We can do pizza and a movie. Or Chinese. It's been awhile since we all hung out. And I think…I think we all need it."

His partner shrugged his shoulders. "Don't feel like hanging out, Probie. You and Abby go and have a great time though. Suppose she's upset."

"Well, yeah, I mean she had to deal with us all resigning and we're not exactly coming back whole, are we?"

"Nope. We're not."

"Listen, if you need to talk about it."

Tony glared at him and Tim backed down. There was a dangerous look in the senior field agent's eyes and Tim was not in the mood to explore it. After all, Abby had requested that he get Tony to come out of his apartment for a few hours, not make matters worse.

Tim looked around the room, listening to the old movie playing in the background. "We can go bowling. Sister Rosita and the nuns bowl tonight. They'd love to have us."

"Sorry, but no thanks. My back hurts."

"Come on, are you going to hole yourself up here for the rest of your life?" Tim sputtered. "It's not the first time changes to our team have been made. You once told me that you suffered through a rotation of agents and then as a two-man team with Gibbs before Kate joined. We'll get through this. It's not reason to drink. We survived Kate's death, we can survive this, Tony."

"This is different," Tony mumbled.

"Of course it's different. It's better, right? I mean, Ziva isn't dead. It's not like she can't come back and visit us."

"She won't."

He was a little tongued tied. "You psychic now?"

Tony shook his head, another swallow of whiskey. "Nope. She made it clear that she needed a clean break. If she comes back, it won't be any time soon. Tell Abby she can stop emailing and begging Ziva."

"How...never mind, it's not important that you knew this," Tim said, putting his hands up in surrender. "What's important is that we get you out of this apartment and...and functioning again."

"Saying I'm dysfunctional McGee?"

Tim's mouth hung open for a moment. "Well! Look at you!" he gestured to Tony's bum like appearance. He really didn't know what else to say. It was the last card he could possibly think to play at this point.

Tony quirked an eyebrow and swirled the amber liquid around in the Jack Daniels bottle. "Guess I have let myself go."

"You guess?"

"Alright I have. Just a little."

"Just a little?" Tim spat, the pitch of his voice raising. God, I need a mirror so he can see.

His partner didn't offer any counter argument to that and leaned back into the cushions, watching the movie on his plasma television screen. He was really starting to worry Tim. Had Tony been this messed up after Kate died? Tim couldn't recall but at the time he was still fairly new to NCIS and had easily accepted whatever Tony told him. He should have known that Tony did not cope with Kate's death by eating junk food. Tim rubbed his temple for a moment. "Come on, Tony. You need to get out. Hiding away here isn't doing you any good."

Tony threw his head back and took another long swig of the whiskey. Wiping his mouth clean of the alcohol with his sleeve, he narrowed his eyes at Tim. "I know what I need—to be left alone. I'm not going to bounce back like you or Abby or Jimmy. I'm not going to let this roll off my shoulder like Gibbs or Ducky. Because it's different this time. This isn't just a partner leaving. She meant more to me than a partner, than a friend. And forgive me, if I feel like drowning my sorrows in alcohol and old movies."

Suddenly the gravity of his words hit Tim full bore in the chest. He saw the pain, the betrayal and the longing in his partner's eyes. He'd been turning a blind eye now for years. Sure, he'd always known that Tony and Ziva's relationship was different, he just didn't think-or refused to believe-Tony had actually fallen in love with her. Lord does he have a way of falling in love with the wrong woman, Tim thought as he found the easy chair and sat down. "She was Mossad, Tony. You didn't actually think…it was every going to work out in the end, did you?"

"Not when she was officially with Mossad, no," Tony muttered, closing his eyes tightly, "but she left them, to join us because…foolishly I thought it was because she wanted to start anew."

"And you thought, someday, it would work."

"Yeah. Should have known it wasn't going to end any other way. Once Mossad, always Mossad, eh?" Tony spat, bitterly. Another swig of whiskey. "Just another notch on my stupid things I've done belt."

Tim shook his head. "It wasn't stupid, Tony. We can't always control who we fall in love with."

Tony peered at him, thoughtfully. "Look at you, McRomeo. I take it that fair Delilah is treating you well."

"Don't change the subject—this is about you," Tim admonished him. "And besides, you'll bounce back—you always do."

"No, I don't just bounce back. I'm not a rubber ball."

"I don't understand."

Slowly Tony let out a breath, and looked right at Tim. "After Wendy left, I didn't eat for weeks. Gibbs almost literally had to shove food down my throat, pick me up and dust me off," Tony mused. "It was years before I actually went on a date again. Just around the time we met you I think. Oh, don't look that surprised. You've known for a while now that most of the time the women are just apart of the act."

Tim had to admit there were times he was certain that Tony's stories of his dates and his little black book were just that—stories. But hearing first hand affirmation of that shocked him. "And after Jeanne?"

Tony shrugged. "Pretty much the same, except for Gibbs picking me up and dusting me off. I kept the pain private, made it look like that I really had been acting and that I never did love her. Truth was, I loved her—a lot. If we had met under different circumstances, say, where she knew the real me, I might have ended up making a life with her."

"EJ?"

"It hurt that she didn't trust me. Ran from me all the time. But I couldn't let people see how much it hurt. Have a reputation to maintain after all, McGee."

"Tony…why didn't you…God, we would have helped you."

Silence fell between them for a moment, before the SFA put the bottle of whiskey down and looked at his partner, sternly. "You already don't think very highly of me, McGee. I didn't want to give you anymore ammunition to use against me if you saw how weak I'd become."

Tim looked away, embarrassed. It was true. He wasn't always nice to Tony but somewhere throughout their eleven years of working together, the man's goofy charm had grown on him. It was true that at times Tony annoyed the hell out of him, but as of late, he was finding that he really missed the oddball joke or movie reference just to break the tension. "Yeah. Guess I owe you an apology."

Tony shook his head. "No. You don't. I didn't make it easy for you."

"I'll say," Tim mumbled. He heard Tony chuckle for the first time since arriving.

Again they fell into silence, the only sound in the apartment that of the old movie playing on the television, and then the clunk of the Jack Daniels bottle as it was set down onto the coffee table. Tim watched as Tony rubbed his hands over his scraggly face. "What am I doing, McGee?"

Tim cocked an eyebrow in curiosity. "You mean besides locking yourself away, drinking at all hours of the day and watching old Cary Grant movies?"

Tony smiled, sadly. "Impressive, McGee. Didn't know you were familiar with Cary Grant."

"Well, Ducky says you fancy you self the modern day Cary Grant with your dress," Tim replied with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "But back to the point, since your ADD has sent us off track again. What do you mean, what are you doing?"

"I'm sitting here wallowing over a woman that I was never in a relationship with."

"Come on. Not the first time a guy has wallowed over a woman that wasn't his."

Tony grunted, lowly. "Don't try to make me feel better, because this is how I end up—again and again. In the movies it's the pretty girl crying over the jock breaking her heart. My life—it's my heart that's been broken over and over. Wendy, Jeanne, EJ—Ziva—they all left me."

Tim absorbed that bit of information. "Come on, you must have ended a relationship before."

"I've ended a lot of one night stands and long weekends, relationships that really do not qualify as one."

"I could drop a horrible cliché here and say, everything happens for a reason."

Tony shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. "Horribly cliché. Not sure the reason why my heart being broken over and over again is. Guess I should just come to terms with the fact that I'm probably going to be alone the rest of my life. I'm married to the job."

Tim didn't know why but his partner's declaration of damning himself to solo life, stung. Tony didn't deserve all that had been thrown at him over the years and as he sat there with him, Tim was beginning to wonder why the mental breakdown had taken so long to grasp him. Of course, maybe it was always that the thought that someday Ziva would feel the same way about Tony and everything was going to work out that they would get their happy ending. Who knew that the womanizing, play boy, Anthony DiNozzo was really a hopeless romantic at heart? "You just haven't met the right girl yet."

"Ya think, Probie?"

"Listen. If it's going to happen maybe you shouldn't be looking for it."

"Wasn't looking for it when I fell for Ziva."

Tim rubbed his temple. They could easily go around in circles for hours. Tony was good at that. "You said Ziva was different. She was different because she was your partner for eight years. You survived all different kinds of hell with her. There's a small possibly that you love her but you're not in love with her."

Tony reached for the bottle of Jack and took a long sip. "You're not making any sense, ."

"Hear me out."

"Fine."

Tim took a deep breath. "If you were in love with her you would have stormed off that plane in Israel and told her. If you were in love with her you would have stopped her from going on that suicide mission to Somalia. If you were in love with her you wouldn't have waited for Gibbs silent signal to go after her when she stormed out of the cabin in May. If you were in love with her you never would have let the relationship with Ray get that close to marriage and that was only stopped because the guy killed someone."

Tony looked away, briefly. "You forget I went to Africa to avenge her death, I disregarded protocol to protect her when Rivkin was in town, and I spent all those hours trying to track down those damn opera tickets but had to settle for a recording. Does someone who isn't in love do that?"

"You did all those things because you care about her. You didn't want her to lose her job when Rivkin was compromising her, we both went to Somalia to avenge her death, and we both know how much honoring Tali means to her. You leave Nutter Butters on my desk all the time, bring me coffee late at night and Chinese food. Abby gets roses and cupcakes on her birthday, and whenever she's down, I can usually find her here, curled up on your sofa with you watching a movie—does that mean you're in love with us too?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Probie. I do that because I care about you guys."

Suddenly a look of understanding passed over Tony's face. Tim finally felt he'd broken through. God, Tony was stubborn, and Abby was right that he was a rock—but he was a rock wall that needed to be chipped away in order to get to him.

In that moment the senior field agent's shoulders eased and it was as if he finally came to accept that Ziva wasn't coming back, that he needed to move on with his life no matter how much it hurt. Tim wasn't stupid. He knew that Tony wasn't going to heal overnight, but at least he could go back to NCIS and report to Abby that he broken Tony out of his fog.

Maybe now he would come back into work. Vance was being awfully lenient with all of them, giving them some days to sort everything out before returning to work. Tim and Gibbs had not taken the days offered to them, but Tony had. It had surprised them both if they were honest.

"So. What are you going to tell Abby when you go back?"

"Oh, ah, that you just need some time…and space."

His lips pulled into a small grin. "Like Abby's going to listen to that. She'll be here tonight," Tony replied.

Tim winced. "Yeah. Probably. I'm really sorry, Tony."

"Don't be," Tony said, pulling himself from the sofa. "Gives me an excuse to finally clean the place up, maybe shave and take a shower."

"Maybe? You smell like you've been lost in the desert for weeks."

Tony lifted his tee shirt to his nose and sniffed. He made a vulgar face and agreed. "Yeah, maybe I'll shower first."

Tim felt some relief wash through him. "Want me to stay and help?" When Tony threw him a questionable look, he clarified, "I mean with the cleaning."

"Put the pizza boxes in the trash chute on your way out?"

"Sure."

Tony moved towards the bathroom but paused. Slowly he turned while Tim was gathering up the pizza boxes and bit down on his lower lip. "Probie."

Tim glanced up from his cleaning and looked at his partner expectantly.

"Thanks. For picking me up and dusting me off."

"No problem, Tony."

"You do realize that if you tell anyone about our little heart to heart here I will have Abby kill you without leaving forensic evidence?"

Tim couldn't help the goofy grin that plastered his face. It was great to have a semblance of the old Tony back. "Yeah. I know."

Tony grunted and disappeared into the bathroom. Tim gathered up the pizza boxes, left the apartment with the door slamming shut behind him and tossed the trash down the chute. On his way out of the building he shoved his hands into his pockets. He knew that Ziva leaving was going to linger with Tony for a long time but at least now he was moving beyond sitting on his sofa drinking the days away.

And that, he reasoned, was a the first step.

[tivaholic4]

NCIS High School: Chapter Nine:

Lunch went by fast. Abby and Tim worked on their remaining homework from Physics and AP Literature. Tony was showing Ziva more about her phone, seeing as she only knew how to text and call. He showed her all the features in the settings. When the bell rang, they threw their trash away and walked to their next classes. Tony and Ziva headed towards the gym while Tim and Abby headed towards Algebra Honors.

Yesterday, Gym class was awful. Today, Tony hoped it would go better as he cleared some things up with Ziva and now he could really talk to her and show her around. They split off again and headed to the separate locker rooms. Like yesterday, Tony got dressed fairly quickly. He caught the glares that were sent into his direction, but he didn’t care. Jackson and his buddies left him alone today, something that Tony was grateful for. He tied his shoes and left the locker room. Surprisingly, Ziva was standing outside the bathroom next to the gym. He smiled at her gym wear and made his way over to her.

Ziva sensed his presence and looked up to see his green eyes looking at her. More importantly, she saw his eyes rake her frame. Something that sent a shiver down her spine. She liked to have his attention. Something that she never really had before. Especially from a guy. Not to mention a very handsome guy. She practically melted on the inside when he would smile at her, something that he was doing now. She had never felt this way about someone, ever. After her father and brother died, she told herself to never get close to anyone, well except family. Then when her sister died, she promised herself she would never get too close to anybody ever again. She didn’t want to go through the heartbreak of someone leaving or dying. She had enough of that in her life. She wanted something permanent. That couldn’t be taken away from her. But Tony was breaking through that revelation. Breaking through to her heart and that terrified her. Her smile slightly lowered as she realized what was happening. She was letting him in way too quickly. Letting him in at all.

As Tony was walking towards her, her smile faltered. Thoughts rang through his head as he thought of what he could’ve done. What somebody must have told her. He couldn’t think of anything else that would make her angry with him. He was less than 3 feet to her when he spoke.

“What’s wrong?” His eyes were filled with concern. Ziva snapped out of her stupor and looked at him with raised eyebrows. How could he tell something was wrong? Nobody could ever see that because she had always hidden it so well.

“Nothing.” He could tell she was lying. Something was bothering her. Did it have to do with him? Was he being an idiot again? Did one of his other flings come up and talk to her about him?

“Ziva. Something’s wrong. I can tell. You might not want to talk about it, but your eyes won’t shut up.” He knew it somewhat sounded cheesy but it was true. Her eyes were filled with emotion. Filled with what looked to be sadness and...fear? What was she afraid of? Was she afraid of him?

‘No way! This is Ziva. The same girl that kicked the shit out of Slacks. There’s no way she’s scared of me. So what’s bothering her?’ Different thoughts wouldn’t leave him alone. What was going on with her?

“It is nothing, Tony. Let us just get cooled down for gym.” She turned to walk away when Tony gently grabbed her arm, making her turn around and face him. He was having deja vu from yesterday when he had pulled the same move.

“You can trust me, Ziva. I would never hurt you.” Tears breached Ziva’s eyes. No! She wouldn’t cry. She was better than this. Crying was a weakness. She was not weak. Never had been and never will be. She won’t cry just because he showed genuine care for her. She felt that she was falling for him. Something that absolutely terrified her. She wouldn’t let that out. Even if it killed her.

“I will tell you later.” She didn’t know if that was actually true. She might do a revised version to the real thing, but more than likely shake it off like it never happened. Tony gave her a suspicious look, telling her through his eyes that he didn’t believe her. He nodded anyway and she sighed in relief. They entered the gym together and all eyes went on them, more precisely on Ziva. Jeanne’s group was standing in the corner, glaring at them. They were standing closer than “friends” normally would. They didn’t care and they moved to the other side of the gym, ignoring the many looks that were cast their way. They stood in the opposite corner and Tony moved to block Ziva from the mean looks. He didn’t know why but whenever somebody did something to her, rage filled inside of him. Fear that she would be taken from him, even though they were just bullies in High School.

Normally, Fornell wouldn’t arrive until after 10 minutes of class went by. Probably talking to Ms. Diane Sterling in the teacher’s lounge. Everybody around school knew they had the hots for each other but they were always fighting. Maybe that was what was good for their “relationship”. Tony looked Ziva up and down as she was looking around the gym. She saw all the cliques in the class and told herself that she didn’t want to be a part of any of them. She was perfectly fine with hanging out with Tony.

“I have a basketball game today after school. If you want to come we’re playing the school rival. Washington High. God those guys always find a way to one-up us. Not this year. We’re taking it all the way to the finals. Leave them in the dust.” Ziva’s eyebrows raised when she heard his last sentence. In her country, if you leave somebody in the dust, they’re dead. Tony saw her look of disbelief and somewhat fear. Something that was hidden way too far back for anybody to see. But he saw it.

“What?” Again he was scared that he said the wrong thing. Ziva shook her head.

“Nothing. In my place of birth that normally means leaving people to die. It just took me by surprise that is all.” Tony looked at the ground for a split second and then looked back up at her and was about to speak when her phone dinged. Her face was written with confusion as she pulled it out of her pocket. There was another unknown number on her screen.

202-327-1969: Hey Ziva! It’s Abby! Tony gave me your number so we could talk! Hope that’s cool!

Ziva (202-112-1982): Hello Abby. Yes, it is fine. We are currently waiting for Mr.Fornell to get into class.

202-327-1969: Oh yeah! I just saw him in the hallway talking with Ms. Sterling. They need to see what’s right in front of them! It’s honestly so sweet but kinda creepy to see two teachers flirting.

Ziva let out a laugh. It was a wonder that Abby got any work done with how much she talked. She didn’t mind, Abby was becoming a good friend to her. If she liked to talk so be it. Ziva looked up at Tony when she chuckled and saw him looking at her strange.

“It is Abby.” Recognition spread across his face.

“I hope you don’t mind that I gave your number to them. They just wanted to be able to talk to you even outside of school.” Ziva nodded. She looked up at him quickly.

“Did you say them?” She didn’t want many people to have her number, no matter who they were.

“The only other person I gave it to was Tim. Nobody else, promise.” His cheeks blushed a tad as he looked up at her.

“Oh. Well, Tim is fine. Just don’t be giving out my number to everyone.” She let out a chuckle, signaling to him that she was only half-joking.

“Deal.” Her phone buzzed again and she suspected that it would be Abby but it was another unknown number.

‘Must be Tim.’ She figured as she opened the message.

202-913-1978: Hey Ziva, it’s Tim. Sorry to bother you just figured I would text you to see if you were okay. I heard about what happened in the hallway before lunch.

His text made her smile. They cared for her like nobody else had and she wouldn’t let that go. Ever. Tony saw her smile and wondered what Abby had said.

“That was Tim.” Jealousy suddenly fired up inside Tony as he heard Tim’s name. Why was he jealous of his own brother? Tim was in love with Abby, of that he was sure. He didn’t need to be jealous of his computer-obsessed brother. But, he couldn’t help it when it came to Ziva. He didn’t know why that was but he had the suspicion that he was falling for her, and fast.

“What did he say?” He couldn’t help himself from being curious, and nosy. Ziva raised her eyebrow at him but smiled.

“He was just asking if I was okay from what happened in the hallway earlier.” Tony nodded.

Ziva (202-112-1982): I am fine, Tim. Nothing that I couldn’t handle. Tony was there to help me pick everything up.

202-913-1978: Don’t worry about Jeanne and her “friends” they will torment anybody who doesn’t worship them.

Ziva’s eyebrows furrowed. What had she done to Tim? She would admit that she was curious but she wouldn’t ask. Afraid that he might think that she was being nosy. Unlike Tony over there.

Ziva (202-112-1982): Thank you, Tim. I must go, I can hear Mr. Fornell coming. Will talk to you later.

202-913-1978: Have fun in gym. See you later.

Ziva saved both Tim and Abby’s phone numbers into her phone. She liked having them as friends. They seemed like good people. Fornell walked into the gym with the whistle in his mouth and blew on it, signaling that they needed to get in their lines to stretch. Tony and Ziva stretched together today and laughed at Tony’s jokes and movie references.

Today they were going to be playing basketball. Something Ziva knew absolutely nothing about. Tony turned to her and asked if she would be his partner, just like he did Math earlier. She nodded, seeing as she wanted to learn how to play, why not get pointers from the point-guard of the team himself? Tony went over and grabbed a ball and they made their way over to an open hoop. Tony took a shot and swished it in the net. Something that secretly impressed Ziva. She also couldn’t help notice the way his muscles tightened and relaxed upon moving his arms.

“I must admit. I do not know how this game works.” She looked sheepishly down at the ground then back up at him, biting her bottom lip. Which unknown to her, did a number on him. He gulped and struggled to control his breathing when she did that.

“That’s okay. I can teach you.” His smile was radiant. Something that was soon stretched across her own face. He grabbed the ball and put his hand on it like he was going to shoot.

“You put your dominant hand in the middle to give it power and your non-dominant hand on the side to keep it in place.” He put his hands in the positions he said and pulled up, causing the ball to end up right above his head. His hands were in the same place as they were when he placed them there a minute ago. He flicked his wrist sending the ball flying towards the goal and it hit the backboard and fell into the net. Ziva watched intently, wanted to absorb this information so she could play this popular game correctly. She grabbed the ball and put her hands like Tony did and pulled it up and fired. It hit the right corner of the goal and went to the opposite side of the gym. Tony ran after it and handed it to her to try again.

“You see the square in the middle of the backboard?” She nodded as she saw the white outline right above the net.

“Hit there. Nine times out of ten it’ll go in.” She set up in her position.

“Hold on.” He moved behind her, put his hands on top of hers, and adjusted them. He then helped her move her legs into a better position so that she could remain stable when she came back down. She felt tingles all around her body as he touched her. She could feel his breath on her neck and gulped as she steadied her breathing so that nothing would be given away. He moved away from her and told her to shoot. She pulled up and shot the ball towards the goal again. This time, however, it went in. Tony laughed and turned to look at her with a smile on her face.

“Nice shot, Sweetcheeks.” He went and retrieved the ball from where it landed after the shot took place. Not even realizing that he called her by a pet-name. Ziva’s blush reminded him of what he said and instantly he tried to defend himself.

“I didn’t mean to say that. I don’t know why I did. I…” He rambled. Ziva put her hand up with a slight smirk on her face.

“It is okay, Tony. Thank you for teaching me.” Tony smiled at her, looking into her eyes and drifting down to look at her lips. Ziva was doing the same thing. Just as his temptation got the best of him and he leaned in, their phones went off. They pulled back looking at each other with smiles as they reached to retrieve their buzzing phones. It was from Abby.

Abby: Hey guys! Figured I would make a group chat for all of us! Tony, you might have to teach Ziva how to use it. Now we can all talk with each other without separate messages.

Ziva smiled as she replied.

Ziva: I know how a group chat works, Abby. Thank you for including me.

The reply was almost immediate.

Abby: Cool! Are you guys going to the game tonight?

This time it was Tony that replied.

Tony: Well yeah, Abbs. I kinda have to be there.

Tony and Ziva looked at each other and laughed.

Abby: Well I know you’re going Tony, but what about Ziva and Tim? It’s going to be a big game tonight. So Tony, you better bring your A-game.

Tony: You know I will Abbs.

Tim: I’ll be going. Come on, we gotta beat them this year. They’ve been celebrating early.

Ziva knew they were talking about basketball and it amused her to no end that she and Tony were standing less than 5 feet from each other. Should be going to support the school and they’re basketball team. At least, that’s what she would tell everybody. She knew she really just wanted to see Tony. Not that anybody but she would know that.

She would go to see how Americans spent their time and the fact that Tony would be there was an added bonus.

[tenroseforeverandever]

The Perfect Blend - Chapter 4

Characters: Tenth Doctor (aka James Noble); Rose Tyler; Clara Oswald; Amy Pond; Jeanne Poisson; Donna Noble; Sylvia Noble; Wilfred Mott; Mickey Smith; Martha Jones; Clyde Langer

Tags: Human AU; fake relationship AU; coffee shop AU; stalkerish!Reinette; hurt/comfort; angst; romance; fluff; Christmas; New Year; New Year’s kiss

Story Summary:

Trying to escape from an predatory ex-girlfriend who will not accept their break-up, James Noble (aka The Doctor) finds himself in a coffee shop where he meets a barista (aka Rose Tyler) who makes him the perfect cup of tea and lends a sympathetic ear to his tale of woe.

Chapter Summary: In which Mickey feels the need to connect the dots…

Chapter Notes: You’d think, with all this time in social isolation, I’d be more productive! Alas…

Hugs and kisses to the brilliant @rose--nebula and mrsbertucci for looking over this chapter. They kindly did this days ago, and I kept forgetting to post! Oops! LOL

Anyway, hope you enjoy. <3

Read also at: AO3; Tsp (when approved); FF

THE PERFECT BLEND - CHAPTER 4

NEW YEAR’S EVE

James felt cold panic clutch at his throat, stealing his breath. Here it was, late afternoon on New Year’s Eve, and he had yet to secure a date for the gala. He’d had no time to continue his quest today, as he’d spent the entire day at the University, setting up his fireworks display and tinkering with the holographic projectors. Then he’d rushed home to change into his (unlucky) tuxedo. Not that he believed in such superstitious nonsense, but he couldn’t help but notice, nothing good ever came of him wearing that blasted black suit.

On his return trip to the Uni for another quick systems check before guests started to arrive, he’d walked by Pete’s Coffee Dimension and, despite running late, had been drawn inside. He’d been tempted by the thought of a nice, fortifying cup of something hot, maybe even the “best cuppa in London”, and in the back of his mind, had been thinking maybe the pretty barista he had met there on his last visit would be there this time too. He’d been hoping to bask in her quiet compassion, even for just a few minutes before his life turned completely to hell.

But the barista hadn’t been there, sadly, just some bloke, who was pleasant enough, James supposed. He’d told James the barista’s name was Rose (a beautiful name that suited her perfectly!) and had just disappeared behind the counter to prepare him a cuppa, spouting some cryptic, vague assurances that he had the answer to all of James’ problems.

James was not reassured. He ran his hands through his hair and down his face. His heart was thrashing out of his chest. Blimey, he needed that cuppa… If he could only get it down his anxiety-tight throat.

Jeanne would be at the gala tonight, on his arm or not. She had her own ticket, he knew. And she would be relentless (proper predatory-level relentless) when she saw he’d come alone.

Despite his many varied (and increasingly desperate) attempts to do so, he hadn’t been able to find anyone who was suitable (or willing) to be his plus-one for tonight. He couldn’t ask his work colleagues. Most of them were considerably older than he and happily married, and he honestly didn’t think for a minute he’d be able to pull off a convincing act of love with any of those few who didn’t have prior attachments. He’d made some hesitant requests of the students and junior scientists he knew from various labs throughout the Science department, but they either all had plans for the evening (quite right, too!) or had just told him in no uncertain terms that they didn’t want to get involved in his dating debacle (also… quite right, too!)

There had been one graduate student whom he’d been hopeful about. She worked in the lab next to his and was sweet and smart, and he had always gotten along quite well with her. He also knew her to be unattached and, while not the sort to party, thought she would enjoy a festive evening at the gala. But Petronella Osgood had nearly passed out from an anxiety-induced asthma attack the moment he proposed his ruse, and James had spent the evening in the A&E with her as she recovered from the trauma. He decided right then, he wouldn’t press the matter with her any further. He didn’t wish to cause her any more stress, and upon further consideration, decided he would rather suffer the horrors of Jeanne on his own, than subject the poor girl to a potential confrontation with the French woman and her nasty temperament.  

With his options rapidly dwindling, he’d even considered paying for an escort, but after some frantic research, he’d discovered that even the semi-reputable ones were ridiculously pricey, and while he would have had no trouble financially, it was a bloody waste of money. Surely Jeanne had already cost him enough. Besides, quite frankly, the idea of using an escort was… weeell… repugnant.

As a last-ditch measure, he’d called on his friend, Jack Harkness, a pan-sexual playboy, and a true friend, through and through. He’d expected Jack to be more than happy to help him stage a fake coming-out, announcing he was gay. Afterall, Jack had been trying to get into James’ pants for years, though not in any serious way. He was a tease, but he understood that James considered him to be a friend only… no benefits of a sexual nature attached. But, as it turned out, Jack had picked this festive season to finally set aside his lecherous ways and settle down. He’d announced to James that he had a new boyfriend, Ianto Jones, with whom he was “exclusive” and had lots of “plans for private New Year celebrations.”  

And now… James was out of time. Doomed. And he was spending his last precious moments of a Jeanne-free life, hiding in a coffee shop, like the coward he was, desperate for a cuppa and a glimpse of an absentee barista.

He heaved a great, sad sigh, and taking off his glasses, allowed his head to sink into his hands, despair overcoming him.

 “Rose! Rose!” Mickey hissed at her through the pass-through.

Rose rolled her eyes at Martha (who giggled in response) and sighed. “Honestly, Micks, can I not leave you alone for five minutes without something going wrong?” she teased as she approached the opening to the coffee bar. “What’s up?”

“Well, I might not bother to tell you now, since you’re being like that.”

“C’mon, Micks…”

“Oh, alright. I have a customer who’d like one of your cups of tea. Wanna put the kettle on?”

“That’s it? That’s what you wanted to tell me?”

“Yup. You know I don’t have the knack you have for making a good cuppa.”

“He’s not wrong,” Martha piped up from behind Rose.

“Oi,” Mickey protested, “I can make a decent cuppa, but as long as Rose is here… Besides, we don’t want the place to get a bad rep from my one substandard cups of tea. Oh, and yeah, it’s for here, so put it in one of the china cups and bring it out when it’s ready, yeah?”

“Bossy!” Rose chided with a grin.

“Someone needs to take charge, otherwise the two of you would be frittering away the time, blathering on about who-knows-what.”

“The nerve! I’ll have you know we’ve completely cleaned the storage room and done inventory, while you’ve made a couple of espresso shots and wiped down a few tables.” Rose turned to Martha. “Are you seriously planning to marry this one?”

Martha’s eyes gleamed. “For better or for worse, that’s what I hear. I guess this is the worse.”

Mickey grumbled at them. “Just hurry and get out here with that cuppa, yeah.” Then he turned and stomped away, out of Rose’s line of sight.

 Five minutes later, Rose rushed out from the kitchen, with a hot teapot of Darjeeling, a couple of complimentary biscotti, and a china cup and saucer on a tray. She paused briefly to pick up the milk from the fridge, then raised her head and stepped out from behind the service counter. She stopped short at the sight before her.

It was him. The Doctor.

She twisted around to look behind her, taking in Mickey’s cheeky grin. “I’m gonna kill you,” she mouthed, her cheeks burning.

“Go on,” her friend mouthed back, gesturing her out into the seating area with a sweeping motion of his hands. Martha stepped up behind him and Rose sighed as she watched the young woman’s eyes light up when Mickey whispered to her who the customer was. She clapped her hands silently together, bounced on her toes, and motioned to Rose in no uncertain terms to move her arse out there and deliver the tea.

Shaking her head at her friends, Rose turned back to the seating area and, taking a deep, fortifying breath, she moved toward the Doctor’s table.

He was sat there with his head in his hands, looking miserable, his gorgeous fringe spilling through his fingers. He was wearing a tuxedo, so she assumed he had somewhere to be tonight and couldn’t help but wonder why he was here instead. Unless it had something to do with that ex-girlfriend of his…

But that wasn’t Rose’s business. He had ordered a cuppa, and she would deliver it to him. That was her job. Nothing more to it than that.

Then why, she wondered, was her heart throbbing somewhere in the region of her throat? Why was her mouth as dry as ash and her palms hot and sweaty? Why did she feel that faint, fluttering hope rising in her chest again, the one she’d felt every time the bell over the door had rung over the last few days? The difference was, this time, the source of that hope was actually sitting right in front of her, waiting for her to deliver him a cuppa.

She fought back her giddiness. I have to remain impartial, she told herself. She’d probably find out he wasn’t as wonderful as her memory (and imagination) had made him seem. He’d probably turn out to be a right arse. And maybe that would be for the best. After all, despite her protests to the contrary, she knew Clara was right: she’d been mooning about him since his first visit, prior to Christmas. She needed to get on with her life, and not spend her time fantasising over men she wasn’t nearly accomplished enough to date. Yes, surely, he was a truly horrible person.

With that fortifying thought in mind, she stepped up to his table.

 James’ head shot up out of his hands when he heard the soft sound of a throat clearing hesitantly. He’d been so lost in his troubles, he’d not noticed anyone approaching his table. His bleary eyes struggled to make out the source of the sound: a haze of pink and yellow. He picked up his glasses and snapped them onto his face.

Instantly, a most welcome sight came into focus before him. The pretty barista… Rose… was standing before him, cheeks flushed the colour of her namesake, and holding a tray that held what he knew was certain to be the best cuppa in London. His troubles seemed to instantly recede in her presence. (Of course, he warned himself, they hadn’t actually receded, just been put on the backburner of his brain for a blessed few minutes.)

“Hello.” She offered him a shy smile and flushed a deeper shade of red.

He waggled his fingers at her. “Hello.”

“Hello…” she bit her bottom lip endearingly, “…Doctor.”

“That’s me!”

She nodded her head rapidly, fervently agreeing with this statement.

“Is that my tea?”

“Oh, blimey! Yeah… course…” With shaking hands, she unloaded the contents of the tray onto the table. “Would you like me to pour?”

He nodded this time, his usually non-stop gob failing him.

She set his cup in front of him and, lifting the little teapot, poured out his tea with a practiced flair, allowing a few bubbles to form on the surface. “For good luck…” she murmured, as she set the pot down.

“I’m sorry… what?”

“Oh… the bubbles… in your cup… they’re supposed to predict good fortune or some such rot. Generally, financially, but if they cling to the side of the cup… erm… like these ones…” her voice dropped to nearly subaudible levels and she averted her eyes from his, “…they foretell romance.”

“Romance?”

She picked at the little knit cozy covering the pot. “Erm, yeah… each bubble represents a… well… a kiss.”

He beamed at her, covering her fidgeting hand with his. It was warm and soft, and fit perfectly under his. “Thank-you… Rose? Right?”

She met his gaze with wide, wondering eyes and nodded again, a bashful smile tugging at one corner of her mouth. “Erm… yeah. Rose. Rose Tyler.”

“Rooooose Tyyyyler.” He rolled the words in his mouth, enjoying the sound and feel of them. “Weeeell, thank-you, Rose Tyler. Not that I believe in superstitions and portents, but I am prepared to suspend my disbelief for tonight. I am more than willing to entertain the possibility that you have changed my fortune with your expert tea pouring. Maybe tonight won’t be the disaster I thought it was going to be, after all.”

“That’s the spirit!” Rose cheered.

“Would you join me?” He reflexively squeezed her hand. “For a cuppa, that is?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’d… I’d like that. I’m sure I can find an extra cup around here somewhere. Coffee shop and all, yeah.”

 Mickey rocked from one foot to the other, his frustration building with each passing minute. “What are they on about?” he grumbled, gesturing at Rose and the Doctor. “Look at them! Look!”

Martha arched her brow at him. “Yeah, I see them.”

“What the hell is he waiting for, then? They’re obviously into each other. He’s holding her hand and they’re makin’ eyes at each other. It’s sickening, really. So why the hell doesn’t he just ask her out to that gala of his? Urrrrgh!”

“I think he may need a little help with that.”

“What? Why? She’s beautiful and available and–”

“Yeah, but from his point of view, she’s at work. And who knows what else is going on in his head. Maybe he just needs another little nudge.”

“Blimey, he needs more than a nudge. He needs someone to connect the bloody dots.”

“Off you go then, Mickey-Matchmaker. Go connect those dots.”

“Me? Why me? Don’t you think this might require a woman’s touch?”

“Look, this was your idea…”

Mickey glowered at his fiancée.

“Not that I think it’s a bad idea. Like you said, they’re obviously… attracted.”

“Attracted? They’re practically undressing each other with their eyes!”

“Right. All I’m saying is you need to go out and finish the job.”

“What about you? You just gonna stand here whilst I make a fool of myself?”

Martha flashed him a cheeky grin. “Yeah, something like that. Consider it moral support.”

“Pffft, moral support, my arse.” He scowled. “Well, since you’re obviously gonna leave me high and dry… here goes!” He took a step out toward the table where Rose and the Doctor were lost in each other’s gazes but pulled up short at Martha’s next words.

“Oh, and by the way, for my part, I already contacted Amy.” She arched a smug brow.

“And…”

“She can’t wait to help out. Champing at the bit, she is!” Then Martha added in a stage-whisper, “So Rose will have no excuses. Don’t let her worm her way out of this.”

 James sat staring blankly at the bloke (Rickey?), a piece of biscotti half-way to his mouth. His brain had surged into overdrive, processing information and probabilities, but it seemed to have forgotten it was connected to his gob, which opened and closed uselessly. He looked over at Rose who gawped back at him with an expression that probably mirrored his own.

He had to admit, the bloke’s plan had merit. He could see himself falling for this girl. If he was being honest, he was already teetering at the edge. He’d just never considered asking a total stranger to accompany him to the gala (apart from his fleeting research into escorts), and he wasn’t entirely sure Rose was even vaguely interested. For one thing, it was all very last minute, the epitome of last minute; frankly, if he could define last minute, this would be it. Secondly, weeell, while she obviously didn’t have any plans to celebrate the New Year, she had plans… working-type plans, plans that were obviously very important to her. And much more important than his stupid University Gala. And, C, no three… thirdly, why the hell would she even want to go out with him? He thought he’d felt some attraction between them, but she didn’t know anything about him… zip, zilch, nada, nought! He could be an axe-murderer for all she knew, a rapist, a–

His rambling thoughts screeched to a halt as he saw her expression morphing from shock and bewilderment to…

“What the actual fuck, Mickey?” she hissed at the young man who stood before them with a proud grin on his face. Her face was now fiery with embarrassment and anger. “How dare you?”

James tugged on his ear and watched, helpless, as Rickey’s grin collapsed. “But it’s perfect, babe, don’t you see?” James had to give the man credit. He’d never be able to face the wrath this bloke was facing, despite having survived Donna (and Aunt Sylvia) for many years. “He needs a date. You need to get a life. Simple.” Rickey (the idiot) ploughed on, clearly oblivious or indifferent to the immediate threat to his existence.

“Oh, I need to get a life, do I?” Rose snarled. “What is all of this, then?” She gestured around the shop. “Seems to me I have a life. A perfectly good life, thank-you very much. I don’t need you–”

“Yeah? Well, me and Martha, we think you do. Babe, you never see beyond these four walls, except to go upstairs–”

“To my home!”

“Home then. My point is, you never leave this building, except to pick up things for the shop.”

“This is my dream…”

“Look, Rickey…” James interjected, shooting a glance at Rose, who was glaring at her friend with pursed lips.

“It’s Mickey!” Mickey snapped.

“Right, sorry… Mickey then… Look, mate, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, and I certainly wouldn’t say no to having Rose on my arm at the Gala this evening, but–”

Rose swept around to face him, the fire in her eyes dying out and a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth. “You wouldn’t?”

James ran his hand through his hair again (he must look a mess…) “Weeell, no… no, of course not… I’d be honoured… Would you like to come?”

“Well, yeah…”

“Would you, though?”

“Yeah!”

“I just thought because you don’t really know me…”

“Yeah, I thought because you don’t really know me… and I just… I just work in a shop; you might not want me to…”

“Oh, I’d love you to come,” he gushed.

James sensed, rather than saw Mickey backing slowly away. His attention was riveted on the beautiful, blushing woman sitting before him. She beamed at him, her tongue touching the corner of her mouth. “Okay.”

He beamed in return, but his smile quickly dropped away, doubts racing back to the front of his mind. “But you… I mean, you don’t know the first thing about me….” He glanced down at the remains of his biscotti, pushing the crumbs around with a restless finger.

Rose’s hand closed over his, stopping his fidgeting. “I know a little… and,” she fixed him in her warm gaze, “I’d like to know more… But, oh God… oh no! I don’t have anything to wear. Certainly nothing that would do for an event like this one!”

“All taken care of,” a young woman James hadn’t noticed before piped up from the service counter. “Amy is more than happy to lend you something. It’s all arranged.”

“But, Martha…”

“No excuses!” Mickey added. “You’re going! You deserve to get out and enjoy yourself.”

Rose turned her nervous smile back to James and shrugged her shoulders. “I guess I’m going, then. That is if you’d still like me to come.”

James felt his spirits soar. For the first time in weeks he didn’t feel like he was plunging head-first into the depths of despair. Maybe his tux wasn’t such a portent of doom, after all. “Oh, yes!” He swept to his feet and offered her his hand. “It’s a date!”

“Yeah…” she chirped, standing and lacing her fingers with his, “…I guess it is!”

“Oh, yes!” he repeated. “Allons-y, Rose Tyler.”

[blueboxesandtrafficcones]

Queen of Hearts - Chapter 7

Thirty-year-old Rose Tyler’s matchmaking business is doing very well indeed, bringing her clients such as celebrities, athletes, and the now-happily-married son of the mayor.  All of which brings her to her newest client - one whose royal rank is a far cry above her own title as Queen of Hearts.

Ian, King of Gallifrey, calls off his wedding four weeks before the happy day as he realizes he can’t spend another minute of his life with his betrothed.  The catch - he must take a wife before his Coronation, only a month away.  In desperation, his sister and aunt conspire to find him is happy ever after - and it’s going to take a master matchmaker to do it.

-

Based on the Hallmark Movie ‘Royal Matchmaker’.  Chapters will be posted every Sunday.

As always, beta’d by the wonderful @stupidsatsuma​!  @doctorroseprompts

Masterlist  |  AO3

—

Sunday, April 7th

Sunday afternoon found Rose curled up in the library, reading through the second round of files Mel had produced to cull the herd further.  With a warm throw across her lap and a tea service on the table in front of her, a roaring fire in the fireplace only a few feet away, she was particularly cosy and comfortable – or would be, if she could forget the enormity of the task in front of her.

“Made yourself at home, I see,” a voice drawled behind her, and she startled violently.

“Shit!”  Just barely managing to not spill her cuppa, Rose twisted to see the King standing behind her, smirking with his arms crossed.  “Your Majesty!”  Fumbling into a half-standing position she attempted a curtsy, nearly falling over in the process.  Embarrassed, she kept her head down, hoping he couldn't see the warmth blooming on her cheeks.

Thankfully he looked amused when she dared peek up from beneath her eyelashes, rather than cross.  “Interesting reading?”

“Hopefully, your future wife is in one of these files,” she said, shifting on her feet.

“May I?” the King gestured towards the chair across from her, and she nodded, waiting until he sat to reclaim her own seat, doing her best not to fidget.

When he didn’t speak, she ventured, “Was there something I could help you with?”

“Can you tell me a bit more about your process?”  He shifted slightly, just enough to telegraph that he was, possibly, as nervous and uncomfortable as she was.

“Of course!” she all but yelped, flushing again and tucking her hair behind her ears.  “My assistant, Mel, has compiled a list of potential women for the position.  As I get to know you we narrow that down until we have a manageable amount.  From there we conduct Skype interviews, filtering down further until we have our top several candidates, who will come to Gallifrey to meet you. From there, it’s up to you, really, and chemistry.”

The King nodded, looking deep in thought, and Rose waited with bated breath.  He seemed to be in a more introspective, considerate mood, and she hoped he might let something slip that would help.  “What do you need from me?”

“Sir?”

“What do you need to know?” he clarified.

She’d answered this already, the first time they met, but she didn’t mind repeating it.  “Anything that’s not available for public consumption.  I don’t need to know anything about the publicity version of you – I can Google that.  I’ve worked with many famous people, and they’re almost always different from how they are portrayed by the press.”

“I’m the king, I need to be what my people expect,” he said pointedly, but she refused to go on the defensive this time.

“That’s a role you play for ceremony and photo-ops and… fan encounters like at the fountain dedication.  I need to know you.  The real you.  The one who wears rock’n’roll t-shirts and saves the world when no one’s looking.”

For a fraction of a moment his lips twitched, and she considered that a point in her favor, not that she was keeping score.  “I’m not Superman.”

“Thank God, not sure you could pull off the tights,” she let slip out, before her eyes widened in horror.  “Sorry!”

To her surprise, though, he let out a bark of laughter.  “You’re probably right,” he agreed, chuckling, “though it might be worth trying to see the horrified look on my sister’s face.”

They laughed softly, and Rose let it trail off into silence.

“My life,” he started haltingly, “it’s… a different kind of normal.  In these circumstances, one must learn to be guarded, and careful.  I’ve been burned by putting my confidence in the wrong person one too many times.  You can understand my hesitation with trusting a complete stranger.”

“Well, tell me more about yourself so we’re not strangers,” she teased.  “Simple.”

“You first.”

Rose laughed, thought she cut herself off abruptly when he didn’t.  “Seriously?”

His expression didn’t change, and she swallowed.  “Okay.  Uh, my dad died when I was a baby, so it was just me and mum.  It wasn’t easy, but we made it work.  I was working in a shop when I was nineteen and one night, a gas line took out the building.  In desperation I took an immediate position as an assistant to the owner of a large matchmaking firm, learning the ropes on the fly and working my way up.  After six years I struck out on my own, and it’s been an adventure.”

 “It certainly sounds as such.”

The King didn’t continue, and she raised an eyebrow.  “Right, your turn,” she prompted.

He pursed his lips, leaning forward.  “My mother died eight years ago, my father last year.  Obviously.  My childhood was difficult as well, though not in the same way as yours.  Growing up in the spotlight can be painful – no one wants to read articles critiquing how their pubescent years are going.  Not that they were terribly cruel, but any comment can be devastating.  I shudder to think what it might have been like, in this era of social media.”

He paused, licking his lips, and refused to meet her eye when he continued.  “My mother became sick when I was seventeen, and though she beat it in a year, it sparked a need in me to know more about medicine, to help heal others as she was healed.  With her encouragement I studied medicine at Johns Hopkins, in the States.  I wanted to be totally anonymous, which I achieved there, and in the process gained the freedom to discover myself and my passions.”

“That’s how I felt,” Rose murmured.  “When I first got my own place, away from my mum, I felt like I really knew who I was for the first time.  It wasn’t easy, and sometimes I called her and went ‘how do I…’ et cetera, but I’m glad I did it.”

“Did she do her damnedest to make you feel guilty for it?”

“Yes!”

They shared another soft laugh, and Rose grinned.  “You should do that more.”

“What?”

“Laugh.”  And smile, she thought, watching his eyes brighten.  “It lights up your whole face.”

“As should you.”  An almost embarrassed expression crossed his face then, and he stood, the mood shifting abruptly.  “I’ve taken too much of your time on a Sunday.  Please forgive me.  Will I see you at dinner?”

Rose scrambled to her feet again, feeling whiplash from the sudden change.  “Yes, of course.  Really, though, you don’t have to go!”

“I’m afraid I must.  Thank you for your time.”

Not waiting for her to curtsey, he practically ran away, and Rose stood watching the door for a long minute after he was gone.

What just happened?

-

Ian fled the library, feeling a little absurd at being driven from a room in his own home, but mostly overwhelmed at the level of intimacy they’d just shared.

He’d never told anyone why he’d pursued medicine.  His family had certainly guessed along the way, but in twenty-three years he’d never actually said the words – until now.

What is she doing to me?

A dual cry of “Uncle Ian!” was the only warning he had before being tackled, his niece and nephew throwing themselves at his legs and nearly sending him flying onto his back.

He let out an undignified yelp, arms wind-milling in an effort to keep himself upright, not bothering to glare at his sister when she sniggered.

“Alright there?” she asked brightly, smirking, and he lowered his arms to cup the children’s heads, one in each palm.

Hampered by the little ears present, he resorted to sticking out his tongue and crossing his eyes.  By now she’d well drilled him on behaving himself in front of them, wanting to show the twins a good sibling relationship.

Of course, it only made them drag each other harder when alone.

“Your face’ll freeze like that, and we’ll never find you a wife,” Donna warned, making him groan softly.

“You’re getting married?!” his niece gasped, pulling back to beam up at him, and he couldn’t help the softening of his heart at her wide, semi-toothless grin.

“Yes,” he told her, picking her up and settling her on his hip.  “If that’s alright with you, Princess Sophia.”

The little girl gave him an even stare, tapping one tiny painted nail against her chin in thought.  “Will she be my friend?”

“I hope so,” he answered truthfully, pressing his lips to the side of her head and inhaling.  “I hope you both like her,” he directed downwards, where Sebastian was still pressed against his leg.

“Okay,” his nephew said, popping his thumb in his mouth.  “Can we have biscuits?”

Ian threw his head back in laughter, the pressure in his chest releasing into a warm fondness for his family.  “I’m sure we can find some.”

-

Cosy mood lost, it didn’t take Rose long to pack up her things and return to the suite only to find Mel standing at the corkboard.

“What’s wrong?” Rose asked, dropping the files she held on a chair and walking towards her.

Two dozen or so pictures covered the edges now, connected by string to pins marking their home country.

Mel grimaced, the normally bubbly girl looking tense.  “I just got some bad news,” she worried her lower lip between her teeth.  “Reinette is away travelling.”

“No!”

Jeanne Poisson, Reinette to her friends, was French nobility and their tentative top choice.  “Can we-”

“I’m trying,” Mel promised, “but it’s up to chance now.”

Great.

-

An hour later Rose re-emerged from her bedroom with two distinct piles of folders.

“Success?” Mel asked hopefully, looking up from her laptop as Rose crossed to the corkboard, moving pictures around.

“From over a hundred potential candidates, we have narrowed it down to twenty in just under a week,” she said smugly, removing the photographs of the women she’d declared not right.  “That alone is an achievement; excellent work, Mel.”

“Thank you.”

Once the board was arranged to her satisfaction, they both stood back to stare at it.  “Right.  Next is Skype interviews – I know it’s short notice, but schedule as many as you can for tomorrow.  ‘Mrs. Right’ needs to be here no later than two weeks from today, ideally sooner.”

A knock on the door made them turn, only to see Princess Donna letting herself in.  “I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

“Of course not Your Highness, please, come in.”  Rose hurried around the desk to clear one of the chairs, though the Princess remained standing.  “How can we help you?”

“I wanted to check on your progress, and see if I could be of any assistance.”

Rose and Mel exchanged glances.  “Things are going well,” Rose said brightly, hiding her hands behind her back and picking at her nails.  “We’ve narrowed the list to twenty, whom we expect to interview over Skype tomorrow.  After that our top choices will come to the palace for in-person interviews.  The final round is to interview them myself, then introduce them to the King. If all goes according to plan, your future Queen will be here in the next ten days.”

The Princess smiled, features relaxing.  “Wonderful.  Can I see your top candidate, please?”

Rose grimaced, hesitating only a moment before passing her a file.  “Technically, this is the top match.  Only we just learned earlier today that she is travelling, and we’re working on getting in touch with her.”

“French?”  The Princess wrinkled her nose, and Rose hid a smile at the honest reaction.

“Yes.  But as you can see, she’s a strong match to the King.”

She nodded slowly, flipping through the file before returning to the picture and staring.  “Well, you are the expert, so I will take your word for it. Just… whatever it takes.”

“Yes, Your Highness.  Thank you.”

Rose and Mel curtseyed together as the Princess left, before straightening up and staring at each other again.

“Now what?” Mel asked, and Rose’s teeth caught her bottom lip, worrying at it.

“Whatever it takes, I suppose.”

[magicjesuscup]

I really like your headcannons, may I please ask for some about Jeanne x Siegfried (saber of Black)?

I’m glad you’ve liked what you’ve seen so far. :) So...I can probably only do this because I feel like I know the characters well enough. I kinda ship Jeanne with Arthur, but this would be cute too. I mean, who doesn't love that precious dragon slayer? So now I'm in rare pair hell x2. Lol.

I've seen other people do relationship hcs, and I'm not sure I can write them like that. I don't think Siegfried or Jeanne would be different in other relationships. So if someone asked about Jeanne in a relationship with Arthur or something, I feel like I'd be repeating myself. I can write a separate hc post for what Siegfried would be like in a relationship and what Jeanne would be like in a relationship, but  approached this ask by answering things like, How did they get to know each other?" "What do they like about each other?" and "What happened when they kissed or confessed their love for the first time?" ...I hope that's ok. >_>; It also got pretty long because I got carried away.

I stuck it under the cut because there are spoilers to Siegfried's first interlude and the Orleans singularity.

((This is going to assume that this Jeanne is different than the one in Fate/Apocrypha so I can avoid the love plot she was apart of.))

Both Jeanne and Siegfried tried to take responsibility for Fafnir still being in France. Jeanne believed since her alter brought the dragon to France, it was her duty to make sure it was vanquished; besides, France was her home, and she would protect it always. Siegfried insisted Fafnir's presence in France was his fault. The dragon was only summon-able because it gained fame through his legend. As their master, you suggested both of them accompany you and Mash. After all, the number of servants you could take with you well exceeded three.

While on the mission, Siegfried opened up about himself. Unfortunately, his stories were often cut short leaving Jeanne wanting to know more.

When they returned to Chaldea, Jeanne went after Siegfried and asked him, "You said you had no regrets, but what was there to regret? What happened?" Siegfried didn't seem to want to answer, so Jeanne clarified why she was asking. She too didn't have regrets about her life or how she died; she thought the two were similar and wanted to know more. Siegfried was 100% sure he had nothing in common with a saint, but his curiosity got the best of him.

Jeanne told her story first. She focused on growing up on her family's farm and the friendships she formed while on campaign with the French army while glossing over her trial and burning at the stake.

In turn, Siegfried shared his life. He skimmed over his fight with Fafnir as she had witnessed him fight the same dragon not too long ago. He focused most of his story on the things requested of him. As he agreed to any and all requests, it lead to him doing some not-so-heroic things. "I did those things because the person asking me couldn't, and I was able. I'm afraid back then I did things because I could rather than give any thought to if the things should be done. I would have turned down a lot of requests if I had." He also explained the circumstances surrounding his death.

Jeanne is incredibly inspired by Siegfried. Even though he had done things he wasn't proud of, he turned them into lessons to make him a better person. And what a person he had become! She understood everything he did while at Chaldea were things he wanted to do and determined were things he'd be willing to do. She watched him carry child servants on his shoulders. She saw him indulge Astolfo that one time Rider was curious if their riding skills would transfer to office chairs on wheels if they used them in a race, and who would win (The short answers to those questions, by the way, are "yes" and "Astolfo"). She observed him train with the knights of the round table and listen intently when any of them spoke of their code of chivalry. She spied on Siegfried as he interacted with their master; the way Siegfried slowly came to trust their master and form a friendship was heart warming.

Siegfried was equally impressed with Jeanne. She somehow saw something good in everything. In the few instances where she couldn't, she saw the possibility of redemption. No one and nothing was beyond hope; the only requirement for God's forgiveness was to seek it, and God loved all regardless. Her positivity was a sight unlike any he had ever seen. She made everything seem possible and bad situations less awful. Siegfried was never terribly religious, and was surprised when Jeanne didn't push Christianity on him. She certainly never bothered with any fear mongering. When asked about it, she would say, "Every person's path to God is unique; the only person that can walk your path is you. When the time is right, you'll find Him, and you'll understand how much God has always loved you." Siegfried wasn't sure who or what was to thank for him having met Jeanne. Was it fate? Good fortune? If it was her god, then maybe his book was worth a read.

Her smile was infectious and he often had to turn away from her or walk away least he be left grinning like an idiot. Of course, there was that one time Jeanne followed him, asked what was wrong, and immediately apologized if she had offended him or hurt his feelings. Siegfried quickly explained that she hadn't done anything wrong; it was just that his smile was weird...like serial-killer-weird. Jeanne put her hands on her hips, smiling and told him that wasn't true. She had seen him smile many times while speaking with her, and he didn't look like a serial killer at all. In fact, his smile was actually rather wonderful. Siegfried blushed a bit at that and found himself smiling along with Jeanne. Her face lit up even more and the two walked back to the others.

They were oblivious about their feelings for one another until Astolfo asked if they had made out yet. Both of their faces were bright red and both denied knowing what Astolfo was talking about. He came back with, "Oh, come on. You two have been flirting for months and a bunch of us are kinda invested." When Siegfried asked Astolfo to clarify, he explained that a bunch of servants (the Apocrypha group, a few knights of the round table, Merlin, both Gilles de Rais, and several others) started a betting pool for how long it would take for them to kiss.

Siegfried and Jeanne became super aware of each other after that. There were many moments where one would be staring at the other and turn away when the other looked in their general direction. To be honest, neither were opposed to a relationship, but neither were the type to initiate one. In life, Siegfried was married. He loved his wife, but their vows were only valid till "death do us part," and death parted them centuries ago. He had mourned his loss and since moved on. Jeanne, on the other hand, was a ruler class servant. Her role was meant to be that of a referee, and she wasn't supposed to get overly involved with any one servant in the grail war. However, her role seemed different in the Grand Order as every servant was fighting for humanity's salvation rather than the Grail.

They got a lot of advice from other servants. Siegfried got his from the Apocrypha crew. Karna was largely unhelpful. Astolfo and Shakespeare often gave bad advice. Most of the useful advice came from Vlad and Chiron, although Achilles added this gem, "Don't listen to Shakespeare...That dude wrote tragedies." Jeanne's advice came from Roman, Da Vinci, her master, and the other saints (most notably Georgios). For as many ideas as they had to kick start their relationship, both were too shy to actually do anything. It all kinda happened on its own.

One day Siegfried told Jeanne that he would likely turn into an evil dragon one day. He was sitting under a tree when he said it. Jeanne planted her left knee by his right thigh and swung her other leg to the other side so she was effectively straddling him. Jeanne replied with, "That's not possible." She put her hand on his chest. "I've seen your heart; it is pure, and it wouldn't permit you to do such things." Siegfried moved his left hand up, covered the hand Jeanne placed on his chest, and curled his fingers under it. Jeanne lowered herself a bit and pressed her forehead to Siegfried's. It wasn't terribly comfortable because of the armor she was wearing, but he would sooner die than complain. He tilted his head and pressed his lips against hers. He wasn't sure if she was ok with that until he felt her free hand rest on his side of his neck. Siegfried ran his free hand up the outside of her thigh before finally finding her lower back. As Jeanne broke the kiss to catch her breath, Siegfried murmured, "Sorry. I had trouble finding you back with my eyes clo-" He was cut off when Jeanne leaned in for a second kiss.

[acuppellarp]

We’re excited to announce that Jeanne has decided to level up Theo Carter from a mumu minor character to a main character! Please go through the checklist to make sure you’re ready to go and send in your account within the next 24 hours. 

OOC INFO

Name + pronouns: Jeanne Age: 25 Timezone: EST Ships: Theo/Chemistry Anti-Ships: Theo/Forced

IC INFO

Full Name: Theodora “Theo” Frances Rose Carter Face Claim: Aimee Carrero Age/Birthday: 27/July 3rd, 1991 Occupation: Personal financial assistant Personality: Cynical, protective, dedicated, judgmental, blunt Hometown: Gilbert, AZ

Bio:

There are a couple key points you should keep in mind when it comes to Theo Carter: one, only legal professionals and her mother are allowed to call her Theodora. Two, she’s the only one allowed to trash talk her brothers and will physically fight anyone who crosses that line. And three, don’t expect anything more than casual indifference from her on a daily basis. Give her a reason to care about what you have to say, or she’ll consider just how much of her time your worth before you’ve finished saying your first sentence.

Theo was the second adopted to Howard and Cecilia Carter, proceeded by her older brother (her mother’s biological nephew) and followed by her younger brother, a little boy adopted as a newborn from Vietnam a few years later. Her parents had been unable to have children of their own, and considered that a sign from God that they were meant to expand their family in the same breath as giving children a chance at a good life. That’s how they came to start the adoption process for Theo before she was even born, having been connected to her biological parents through a mutual friend and agreeing to raise her as their own. It was a closed adoption so Theo knows nothing about the people responsible for giving her life, but she can honestly say it doesn’t cross her mind much. She knows that they were both still teenagers and lacked the financial capabilities to raise her; to Theo, making her a Carter was the best thing they could’ve possibly done for her.

The early years of Theo’s life felt pretty standard, barring the occasional strange look her family would get by people who didn’t understand her hodgepodge of a family. That’s fine though, they didn’t have to understand. The Carter children grew up with a small community of people, all acting as brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles without any legal relationship. As a kid, it seemed perfectly normal, but looking back on it now, and after long talks with her parents, it feels a bit…. well, cult-y is the word Theo would use. Cecilia Carter’s father was a bit of an egomaniac with a charming personality and a hedonistic approach to life, and had been running his own church long before Theo came around. He’d amassed a small but loyal group of followers, including three wives and seventeen children including Theo’s mother. Cecilia and Howard had a massive falling out with the group over money and morality when Theo was eight, and because it had been such a tightly-knit community lead by her grandfather, the whole family was ostracized. Realizing that they were effectively exiled from their only friends and family in Arizona, the Carter parents decided to start over far far away. They settled in New York City after some deliberation

Most decent parents will tell their children that they can be anything they want when they grow up purely for the encouragement rather than an actual possibility, but Theo really could have been anything she wanted. To say she was a smart kid would be an understatement; she was labeled advanced pretty much her first day of kindergarten and continued to excel throughout her school career. She would soak up information like a sponge, and if there was something that the people around her couldn’t explain to her, she would go out and find answers on her own. Moving to New York and finding herself surrounded by more books and culture than anything Arizona could’ve provided her with. While she excelled in most areas, she found herself most caring for math, music, and literature. It was pretty exemplary of her as a person that she maintained high scores in all her subjects but deliberately put more work into the things she could bring herself to care about. If she doesn’t love something, why would she bother giving it her all versus the bare minimum?

She was bumped up more than one grade as a child and ultimately graduated high school at 16, college at 19, and had her master’s degree in accounting by the time she was 21. It’s probably a cliche that she fell into a career that circled around numbers, but it really was the obvious choice. Humanities and social sciences never mattered to her much. Facts, numbers, music, and words were reliable and definitive, much more than people and their feelings could ever be. Even with her genius level intelligence, Theo is well aware of her own strengths. Measurable things, yes. People? Not so much. A therapist might say that she has an innate need for control in all aspects of her life, and the unpredictability of humans goes against that. Ask Theo though, and she’ll tell you that she simply doesn’t have time to deal with others. She’s a busy woman.

After graduating with her master’s degree, Theo became a CPA and was hired in at an accounting firm for some of New York City’s best. She isn’t in love with her job, but she’s good at it and it gives her a steady regularity that brings her comfort though she won’t admit that. She’s briefly considered getting a PhD, solely so people will have to address her as Dr. Carter, but jury is currently out on if that’ll give her something resembling joy. Right now, she’s stagnant, and stagnant for her means content. Work, her mini passions, and coffee are all she needs right now. Ask her if that’s still all she needs in five years time, because she’s not quite sure on that part.

Pets: A black and white rabbit named Oreo Speedwagon. The little guy mostly sticks to Theo’s room when he’s out and hoppin’ about, but Theo has told him it’s okay to bite on contact if anyone thinks about entering her premises.

Relationships:

Lola Alvarez — Theo and Lola aren’t actually related, but after knowing each other for what feels like forever, Lola is Theo’s sister in every way that counts. Lola is the one person outside of her family that Theo will defend with everything she has, and Theo trusts Lola to drag her out of her apartment should she start becoming too much of a hermit. The fact that she trusts Lola at all speaks volumes; she just hopes Lola recognizes her own worth as much as Theo recognizes it.

Blair Anderson — Theo and Blair lived together for the length of a leasing contract years ago. Somehow, despite Blair being what Theo categorizes as “sickeningly sweet”, she managed not to want to kill on a daily basis. In fact, she’d go so far as to call Blair a pleasure. Well, she said that once when no one was around to hear it, but it still counts. She appreciated Blair’s ear and passion for music, one of the few things other than numbers that Theo cares about. Theo moved out a while ago, but she still enjoys catching up with Blair if the two bump into each other from time to time.

EXTRA INFO

theo carter/@ohnotheo/let me make you rich:

Five latest tweets:

@ohnotheo: if you pronounce cabinet w/ three syllables, you’re part of the problem @ohnotheo: a girl in my niece’s class said she was uncool bc she doesn’t have fingerlings so now we’re boycotting some 5 yr old named ashlynn #cancelled #passiton #ashlynnisntaname @ohnotheo: someone - i really relate to holden caufield. me - deletes their number, chucks phone off a bridge @ohnotheo: binge watched tua, i guess i’m now the proud mother of six and the regretful mother of one #guesswhichone @ohnotheo: monthly prayer circle for betty white’s immortality, my place tonight @ 7

[fgodestinyawakenings]

Congrats on getting Jalter~! If you're still taking top 5 requests, can you do Top 5 servant pair or groups? Something like Resistance Trio (Geronimo-Billy-Robin) or couples (Brynhildr-Sigurd).

Thanks! And thanks again for your asks as catalyst that brought her home ^^;

I’ll split your request into two since I’m doing both of them, so no worries!

Couples

Sigurd x Brynhildr

Like everyone, I’ll admit that I also assume that Sigurd would be one who would constantly run away and avoiding Brynhildr from not only what happened in their history, but also her current given Yandere side

But after Gotterdamung lostbelt came out… His interaction with her already won my heart!

It got even amusing with his 2nd skills often used a proof of his strong love to her against her Yandere side

DAMN IT, I’LL BRING HOME YOUR WIFE SOON ONE WAY OR ANOTHER SIGURD!!

Amakusa x Semiramis & Cu Chulainn x Scathach

Definitely thanks to Apocrypha, they are still on my list after both also appearing in FGO too

The fact even in their dialogue shows they still remember what happened in Apocrypha despite Semiramis denying it’s meant for her other self in that world

Damn it I’m reminded at the saltiness of seeing someone pulling both Semiramis and Amakusa home together ARRRRRGH OTL

And it’s hilarious in some fan art with Semiramis FGO version denying so hard about their relationship while Amakusa is totally okay with it XD

For Cu x Scathach… I actually don’t mind either their relationship being mentor-student or something more… Given their historical past together or so 

I like seeing them together, which my one and only complain for America Singularity is why the fuck they didn’t add at least Caster Cu in so that he could reunite with his teacher! That’s a fucking wasted potential since you do technically summoned him after clearing Fuyuki. But nope, he totally never existed even in Solomon Singularity

Bless the writer that did Part 1 Summer 2018… Thank you for adding dialogues between Scathach and Cu!

Mozart x Salieri & Rama x Sita

I’m definitely caught off guard at Salieri’s appearance in Lostbelt since no one expected him to appear

But damn… You can blame fan art and their dialogue about each other shipped them

And what even set sailed way harder is that one scene together in Anastasia lostbelt… I know in canon Amadeus once love Marie but those two has more feels than this!

Speaking of feels, Rama and Sita… Their whole entire backstory is literally screaming to be reunited again

I’m seriously waiting for LB4 to happen and hoping she’s the one who’s that Archer summoned under the crypter

Yet at the same time I don’t want to, which because… If Sita is under the Crypters, Rama will be summoned and sided with us hence… DAMN IT DW, GIVE THEM A HAPPY ENDING ALREADY!!!

Jeanne Alter x Sieg-kun

It’s definitely crack as far as the actual story goes since they got no dialogue for each other

I blame the one scene in Oniland where they were put together…

But, guess it’s a sort of potential that may or not happened between them?

Platonic Gilgamesh x Enkidu

I’m the only person who actually prefers their friendship instead of them being a romantic couple

For me I could relate to Gilgamesh a lot about having that one person whom will take that one role in your heart forever in life. And that person after they passed away, your heart and your soul swore no one can replace their existence

The feels in Babylonia really break my heart since I actually relate so much if I could find a chance similar to bring them even if it means trading my life

And fucking damn it! Caster Gilgamesh own dialogue brushed off at the reunion since he told himself he already lost his chance to speak to him once he took back the throne…

AND DW, WHAT ABOUT ENKIDU’S DIALOGUE WITH NORMAL ARCHER GILGAMESH?! VICE VERSA TOO! THOSE TWO SHOULD AT LEAST HAVE SOMETHING ABOUT EACH FROM FATE STRANGE/FAKE OR SOMETHING!!

So I’m really sorry if I don’t ship them romantic… I did once, but I blame myself after reading their actual history and falling in love with their friendship instead OTL 

Groups by Singularity

Charlemagne Knights

I’m definitely the one who actually prefers this group of knights over the Knight of the Round Table especially after seeing their relationship as a whole in Camelot Singularity and Camelot/Zero

I’m a huge sucker for friendship that becomes your family you love, cherish and wanting to protect for life. A bond that can’t be tear apart and loyalty ties strongly between them

Especially maybe because the fact Charlemagne grieves for all his people specifically his nephew Roland in his death of his poem

Their interaction somehow just reminded me of how Gudas interacted with their Servants like a huge family instead of that stiff title of between Master-Servant & King-knights relationship

So I’m seriously hoping for the rest of the Charlemagne knights to appear for comedic chaos and maybe good dose of friendship fluff between them

Captain Drake’s crew

Literally the theme of family/friendship will always be on the list, especially if they are strong

Drake’s crew in particular especially even if they die or turned ghost, they still willingly followed their boss to the very end to Solomon Singularity to beat up the pillars

And Drake in turn is one of the best captain I’ve ever seen in taking care of men and treated them like one big crazy family in hunting for treasures

Hassan i-Sabbah

Not as crazy as the two above, but their loyalty to each other and the creed is really strong

Especially both hundred persona and cursed arm will do anything to free their youngest comrade, Serenity, out of the Lion King’s prison

And especially the one scene against King Hassan’s trial. Cursed Arm takes his role as their leader so seriously he begs willingly for their founder to take Serenity’s place to do the trial

Damn it, anyone who speaks ill about the Hassan, I’ll kill them personally! They are the best group I’ve seen in Camelot!

Three Goddess Alliance

Though there’s hardly any dialogue between each other, other than the starting, I actually like how they come to work together

Quetz who wants to protect humanity, pretended to be evil just so she could help Gorgon consumed by the hallucination that she’s Tiamat’s reincarnation

Eresh-chan whom everyone depicts as the evil goddess is actually the nicest one among them. Especially making souls in her realm comfortable and loving human life more than a certain spoiled and useless sister of hers

Gorgon definitely despite being the villian driving the first half, she still wins my heart especially her dialogue onwards about Quetz onee-san herself

And even despite being used by Tiamat and Kingu, she still really cares for the latter a lot. Perhaps they shared a lot in common…

Ozymandias & Nitocris

The one sibling duo team definitely wins in this list!

Nitocris’s strong loyalty and determination to protect & serve Ozymandias really had me admired her a lot, even turning to one of my favorite characters in Camelot

Ozymandias despite being Gilgamesh’s tyrannical level ruler, he’s actually also one of the best king to serve especially given he cares greatly for Nitocris like an older brother to his younger sister

Especially near end in Camelot complimenting and telling her to rest after the final blast of Ozymandias’s NP… Their interlude as well with more interaction brings more fluff too!

[frostiifae]

Jalter, Marie, Moriarty, and Drake!

JALTER:

general opinion:  love themhotness level: 10/10 please step on mehogwarts house: ah fuck hogwarts houses oh no i feel like she’s only in slytherin because the thought of being in gryffindor sends her into a violent ragebest quality: jalter cannot help being kind. no - it’s not even that she “doesn’t want to be but can’t help it”; it’s that she can’t deny herself in the end. even her desire as an avenger is itself based in kindness and mercy worst quality: i guess the avenger skill counts as a negative quality :( ship them with: me bryn is cute. feel like bryn makes a good minion with benefitsbrotp them with:  salter obv needs to stay away from: HANS. DO NOT GO NEAR HANS. HE WILL END YOUmisc. thoughts: shinjuku is the best singularity

MARIE:

general opinion: ehhotness level: neutral (Thou Shouldst Be Older)hogwarts house: clear hufflepuff imobest quality: every story needs a “so nice even the enemy can’t hate them” archetype of character, right? worst quality: i’ll be honest i would overlook your naivete were it not for your historical context, but because of that context it makes me actually really just dislike youship them with: marie/jeanne ruler is cute i don’t mind itbrotp them with: not a brotp per se, but I think Marie is one of those Servants that’s very good with the kids and they like to be around herneeds to stay away from: Caesar. Pulling one over on Marie is basically his favorite activity at this point. Do you know how many singularities were caused just by this duo alone??misc. thoughts: A well-meaning institution of power that is looked upon as corrupt is actually one of my favorite themes. Call it privilege if you want, but being somebody who grew up in a white middle class family and has had to learn second-hand how fucked the world is, I’m very interested in narratives that pursue reform but learn along the way that the people in power are more likely to be well-meaning and incompetent than they are to be outright malicious. So Marie’s character is kind of a spit in the face to me. Everyone hates you, Marie. Do you know that? Do you know why? No? You’re just supposed to be innocent and cute and pure and everyone’s supposed to forgive you? Hmmmmm.

MORIARTY:

general opinion: like them!hotness level: pretty hothogwarts house: slytherin lmao don’t fuck with mebest quality: CHARISMA OF EVIL IS MY FAVORITE SKILL EVER. I LOVE THE CONCEPT OF “SO INNATELY CONNIVING AND EVIL THAT HE CAN BEND OTHERS TO COOPERATE WITH HIS SCHEME SIMPLY BY NATURE”. There’s a section in a D&D DM’s guide somewhere that I took to heart as a young writer that explains that evil does not necessarily cooperate with evil; but now, having come so far with that understanding, evil that can make other forms of evil cooperate is so much more terrifying!worst quality: quit playing dumb and clumsy nobody is buying itship them with: moriarity is ace/aro IMO (and because i’m bad with mlm shipping in general). if anyone, i ship him with the concept of evil itself. evil not for any purpose, not even out of hatred; evil simply because it’s funbrotp them with: i feel like moriarty and jalter have kind of an… interesting… relationship, formed of begrudging admiration under a thick layer of being way too proud to express it with any sincerity; jalter wishes she was that suave and cunning, moriarty wishes he was that lively and charismatic (dragon witch EX does outrank Charisma of Evil A); oh the things he could do with such energy and influence!needs to stay away from: holmes, obviously, but I think also he needs to stay away from pretty much everybody. Like, the more people Moriarty is talking to, the more likely it is you’re about to be epic pranked bro, and that’s just no good.misc. thoughts: shinjuku is the best singularity

DRAKE:

general opinion:  like them! hotness level: theoretically hot but not my typehogwarts house: TOUGH CHOICE. she’s probably not witty enough to feel at home in ravenclaw. so that makes another notch in the slytherin column best quality: it’s far from being unique to drake, but the way she treats her crew as family is always the best part of a pirate’s storyworst quality: i dunno i think if she has a bad quality it’s that she’s, y’know, a thief and a pirate. and maybe she went a little easy on blackbeard and shouldn’t haveship them with: alright i had to go trawling for ideas for this one but bear with me, ok? cleopatra. you have a lot of barriers to cross initially, but like, they’re the only people that won’t be impressed by each other’s extravagant taste/sense of vanity, which means they can actually like… engage with each other in a meaningful level, when normally they (especially cleo) would have trouble with thatbrotp them with: drake is very deeply protective of medusa + all sakurafaces. Shinji Is A Fuckboy Solidarity. needs to stay away from: The kids. Drake loves em, and they love her, but… Drake’s idea of “fun” is………misc. thoughts: drake might be one of very few servants in fate/extra that is actually made better by their appearance in fgo 

[flydotnet]

Everytime We Touch

Femslash February 2019 - Day 7: Disaster

Summary: They're all disaster sapphics, aren't they?

Fandom: Original Work Ships: Raphaëlle (Garionne)/Jeanne/Christiane

Wordcount: 1.6K words

Notes: AU where I fucking know what to do with my 2012-2013 original work/PDV era characters. It's very inspired by my high school years to a point it's unintentionally creepy. (this title is way too ironic not to hurt my 1998-born soul)

Event hosted by @femslashfeb

AO3 version available here.

Jeanne was, for once, the least disastrous of their friend group. It was a very rare occurrence, considering how much she didn’t know how to deal with literally anything that wasn’t coming up with conspiracy theories on the school or the History-Geography teacher.

“I tell you, she’s dating the French teach’, there’s no other way around! You’ve seen Jonquille and Leeht speak together?! There has to be something between these two, and if it isn’t love, I dunno what is!”

“Jeanne, they hate each other.”

“They totally are together and just pretend to bicker, and you know it.”

“Sure thing Jeanne.”

 Jeanne was, for once, the least disastrous of their friend group because she had known for a longer time what was going on. Of course, it could have been because she had been crushing on her childhood and best friend for literally a decade or so by now (wait, had they known each other since they were six? Well… they did, actually), and noticed there was something odd going. So, of course, she told her best adviser: her best friend, who didn’t know anything about love more than she did.

“Hey, bro, is it normal to love, like, two chicks at once?”

“I guess? Wasn’t there this guy of your class who loved every girl in there aside from you anyway?”

“Ludo? He’s gay, he’s just realized it. The guy was in denial all along.”

“Oh, okay. I guessed so, but since I’m not in the same school as you all nowadays…”

 Jeanne had always loved Raphaëlle more intensely than the others. Her lesbian awakening was her own childhood friend, and while she had hopes the crush was somehow mutual, she knew it had very little chances to be so. They had exchanged a few weird looks, blushed afterwards, but it may have just been her. It… must have been her since the very beginning, anyway, but one could hope, after all.

The issue was that she had developed a second crush, somehow, someway. Well, you didn’t have to look too far to find her, but it was odd anyway. She had only known Christiane and her very excited tendencies in middle school, and yet she didn’t see her not spending her life with the purple-loving, tall-nailed girl.

So, she had two crushes on two different girls, and both of them had showed interest in boys. This… wasn’t going to go well.

  Raphaëlle didn’t know how to deal with the disaster that had become her love life: even if she was single, she had, well, fallen in love with a girl. Actually, make that two: Jeanne was her first crush, perhaps in a cliché twist of life, but Christiane had strongly embedded herself in her thoughts too. Two flowers, and theoretically, she could only embrace her love for one of them. She obviously knew Jeanne was desperately in love with her from everything she could have ever said or done towards or about her: protective tendencies, blushing, prone to hugging (too much so, in fact, but she’d have lied if she said it bothered her in any way once she had told her not to do that in public). She could have simply asked her out, even if she was intimidated by anything riskier than walking down her quiet street in full daylight, and it’d have been just fine. She’d just have to hope her mother didn’t turn out to be a raging homophobe. She, after all, had never been a fan of how obviously lesbian Jeanne was.

 Christiane was a trickier case. You simply couldn’t find anyone who looked straighter than Christiane, to put it simply: she fangirled over pretty boys in manga, enjoyed screaming about boys’ love doujinshis, had dated boys and only boys before. Nobody could ever see her being attracted to any girl ever, and yet… And yet she also fangirled on Jeanne whenever the latter took the effort to put on nail polish and complimented Raphaëlle herself when she was all dolled up for a concert. Several times, in fact, if not always and anytime she had the occasion to. There was, simply, something that told her Christiane may have enjoyed being around the two of them a lot more than around other girls, Valentine coming to mind first.

 Her love life was a disaster, but a disaster she would deal with, she supposed.

  Perhaps Raphaëlle was a disaster bisexual girl, but she could always rely on Jeanne. And so they confessed to each other, one day. There was nothing fancy about it, albeit there was a sense of relief to it. This was, for now, a problem less to deal with, after all.

“I love you, Rapha.”

“I know. I love you too, Jeanne.”

“…That was kinda anticlimactic, wasn’t it?”

“It is, but… it’s fine enough, right?”

Jeanne enlaced her fingers with hers and looked to her right from the other side of the café table.

“Yeah. It’s fine enough.”

 But there was something wrong with it all, a lingering tension between them. Perhaps they knew that, deep inside, there was a third part to the triangle who was nowhere to be found…?

“…I thought you liked Christiane, though,” Jeanne told her with the upmost seriousness.

“I do. But, like… don’t you too?”

They sighed.

“Love’s bullshit. She’s straight as a broomstick.”

  Christiane had a very big disaster to deal with, right now.

She was in love with a girl, that was already a big deal on its own. Her brother would certainly tell their parents, and her parents already didn’t approve of her dating a guy, what would they think of her dating another girl? She had never thought of herself as a bi disaster, but that was a thing she was now, apparently. Before she knew it, she craved reading girls’ love manga and wanted to sleep in the same bed as Raphaëlle… and perhaps do more than sleeping in there. She wanted to hold hands and do girlfriend things with her, go on romantic dates, giving flowers and getting given flowers, making her nails and brushing her soft locks between her fingers… Yeah, she totally wanted to date Rapha, that much was sure.

 But then came in Jeanne.

She saw it coming: Jeanne and Rapha were obviously in love and meant to be, from her perspective, and she had no chance of ever dating Rapha would Jeanne remain in the picture. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to hate Jeanne and push her away like a threat to her relationship with Rapha: instead, she surprised herself by wanting to date the blonde and the brunette at the same time, thinking to herself she had two hands, but… That was dumb, and kinda dirty to do. You can’t date two persons at the same time, especially if it’d essentially be smashing into two girlfriends’ relationship. What if she was a third wheel to them? What if any of the two was the third wheel to the two others?

That’d be a disaster, so she sulked in her room, alone, responding to text messages when she wasn’t too busy daydreaming about what could be.

  Christiane, as always, had slipped on her own clumsiness and confessed to her two best friends that she wanted to kiss them both passionately after getting jealous of both of them for dating the other… while getting kind of turned on by watching them peck each other in her back. The sense of secrecy and forbidden love was, she couldn’t deny that, a guilty pleasure of hers and she was totally down to be a side hoe when seeing this.

The stares Jeanne and Raphaëlle were giving her would have been priceless would she have not been on the receiving end of said stares. Instead, she just wanted to bury herself in a hole.

 The silence ensuing was thick, almost unbearable because of how much it smothered them all. The tension was real, and the atmosphere only suffered in consequence.

“Well, in a way,” Jeanne spoke up first, shortly after gulping, “that kinda solves all our issues.”

“How so?! Fuckin’ hell,” Christiane screamed on the top of her squeezed lungs, “now I feel like I’ve ruined our friendship and it’s gonna go to hell!”

“H-huh,” Raphaëlle didn’t dare speaking out too loud, “Jeanne’s right, please let us explain…”

Christiane instantly shut up and got all stiff. Oops, she had done goofed again.

 “When we say that, it’s because, well… I don’t think it was likely by any mean, but it seems like we’re all crushing on each other, and in the end this is all one giant fuckpile,” Jeanne sighed as she looked on the side.

“…oh.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of a stretch, but this is how things are,” Rapha continued. “Jeanne and I spoke about that before.”

“And, what do we do now?” Christiane asked with all the curiosity and anxiety in the world.

“We all date each other, I guess,” Jeanne deadpanned, shrugging.

“Wait, we can do that?!”

“Yeah, we can, it’s called a polyamory triad.”

 Christiane’s eyes started sparkling, but it was too good to be true.

“And, like, that’s allowed? It’s not, like, crashing into your couple and stuff?”

“Nah, as long as everyone consents, I don’t see the issue.”

“Oh. That’s great, then!”

 Jeanne gave the two other girls both her hands.

“Deal?”

Raphaëlle took the first one in hers.

“We were already there, it can’t be that different. Deal!”

Christiane followed through.

“Deal!!”

 As “Everytime We Touch” started playing in the background ambiance of the little café on Dunkirk Street, they all discovered they were disaster Sapphics, but at least, they were disaster Sapphics together. They could work this thing through, right?

[vera-invenire]

VnC Liveblog - Chapter 4

.All chapter liveblogs are linked HERE.

The Case Study of Vanitas, aka, It’s Probably A Really Bad Idea To Get Into  Fights With People Called ‘Hellfire Witch’, Boys, I’m Just Saying

Not much to note in the cover art this time -- we’ve got Vanitas’ standard imagery in blues and blacks, with emphasis on the hourglass earring and his eyes. And the gears, through after the airship we haven’t really had much else that was very steampunk-ish in the story. Maybe that’ll change in later chapters.

Re: the eyes -- we know that most vampires have eyes that glow red when they drink or use their powers (I think that’s how it works?) and they have a link to the crimson moon, but Vanitas is human, so even though he’s got a connection to the Vampire of the Blue Moon, his blue eyes might just be a coincidence. (re: for the  a e s t h e t i c) (though the color matching with that hourglass is a bit suspect on the symbolic level, so who knows)

We get a bit of a peak at the dynamics in Dante’s crew before we jump back into the action --

Johann is very camp. I wonder if the matching suits were his idea. I like his relationship with Dante, though. Riche seems to be their junior member -- at least Johann is looking out for her.

Uh-oh. Luca’s heading back into the fray.

Chapter title: Memoire 4 Love Femme Fatale

Well, ‘femme fatale’ is Jeanne, that’s pretty clear. But ‘love’? Eh? Are we introducing a romance? Or is this the protective love between Jeanne and Luca?

So, Jeanne’s chasing Noé down the back-alleys of the -- was it the riverfront district? Warehouses, we’re surrounded by warehouses.

She catches his foot!

Noé intercepts! \o/

(’may i throw you back’, pfff)

But Vanitas is no slouch himself, even if he is back to being carried like a kitten.

We already knew that Vanitas was aware of Jeanne’s reputation, but this exchange makes me think he knows a bit more than surface level rumors. But he doesn’t seem up-to-date with the no-killing influence Luca has on her.

Vanitas tells Noé to follow the plan (which we are not privy to) as Jeanne finds them again.

'No’, ‘I refuse’, must be Noé‘s favorite words, he says them so much.

(Can you imagine baby Noé just constantly saying ‘i refuse. i refuse.’ all serious-like whenever someone tried to make him put down his blankie, cuz I’m imagining it, lmao.)

Note: Noé‘s teacher is a scary badass. (also what’s he holding? a cane? a switch?? oi, what was Noé‘s training like)

Meanwhile, Noé feels like he’s finally getting the upper-hand --

Uh-oh.

Pride goeth, etc etc

*sports announcer voice* That’s gotta hurt.

But why’s he looking at his hand? I didn’t notice him holding anything before.

“Now... let’s see.” He and Vanitas still have a plan to enact. Also, hi Riche!

So we haven’t had much time with these three yet, but I’m starting to get a feel for their priorities. Dante would never, ever in a million years admit to anything like fondness for Vanitas, or vice versa, but underneath all the mutual sniping I think there’s a small bond there. A teeny tiny one.

Whereas with Johann -- he honestly doesn’t care about Vanitas one way or another. If V were to be killed in front of them, I think Dante would be shocked and frozen for at least a second while Johann would say, ‘welp, it’s been a lark, toodle-loo’, grab his Two People, and get them all the hell out of there, not bothering to look back.

Riche, I don’t know enough about yet. She mostly registers to me as the rookie of this trio, tbh.

Yes, antagonize the massively powerful warrior who just threw Noé through a brick wall. That’s a good plan. (is this the plan, that would be a terrible plan)

Ooo, history, I love history. I especially love MochiJun’s history and how layered and batshit it can get once the reveals start to hit.

So the vampire-human war happened a long time ago -- how long ago, we don’t know. We know that BlueVampire!Vanitas was alive during that time. We know that Jeanne was alive during that time, but was then put asleep.

(Why? Some thoughts: she was a weapon of war and put away when peace came; she went off the rails and had to be subdued; her being put asleep was a condition of some kind; she wanted to be put under, etc. There’s no way to know what really happened yet, but it’s interesting to think about.)

We also now know that BlueVampire!Vanitas used to tell Vanitas stories about the war that clearly didn’t leave out many details. But that wording...honestly, it sounds like maybe Vanitas was a kid when he heard this? Telling stories is something you usually do with a kid, which might make sense because.human!Vanitas doesn’t look that old. Anything that happened more than a few years ago would slide into ‘kid’ territory.

Which makes me wonder...did BlueVampire!Vanitas raise human!Vanitas? Or teach him, at least? I’d be a neat parallel to Noé and his teacher.

(what if they’re the same person, bwahahaha)

Anyway, back to Vanitas taunting the highly aggravated weapon of mass destruction.

Oooo, he’s about to pull out a special move. And he -- dropped the book?

is that thing really there, or is it, like, symbolic

oh shi-

The gloves are literally about to come off...!

That kid’s got horrible timing.

Ohoho, someone woke up from their nap. Was this part of the plan or is it an interesting complication?

Ow.

...IT WAS A TRICK, you sly dog.

also vampires are monsters, huh? or just curse-bearers and bourreaus? i think this distinction may be a biiiiit important. (is this why you’re always so shocked when Noé does/says something decent, oh boy)

LMAO, oh god, I hope this Greek chorus follows Vanitas around all the time just to drag him, wouldn’t that be amazing

Damn, boy -- he really knows how to work the superior disdain, doesn’t he?

I’m still shaky on how these true names work. Do vampires just fall into types, and that’s what gets warped? You’d think something called a ‘true name’ would be more individual than that.

Oi, Jeanne, you aren’t watching? Though I like Dante being all, ‘whatever, I’ve seen this show before.’

ahahaha, OOPS.

That’s what happens when you let your grandstanding get away from you, bb.

oh hey, look who was lurking nearby and NOT HELPING AT ALL.

“...you must be joking.” in this kind of context is like, one of my favorite lines.

Also damn, Jeanne is a badass.

Yeah, saw that coming.

She really shouldn’t have let Vanitas see how distracted she became when Luca wandered into danger.

*snorts* The Greek chorus doesn’t lie.

It’s a bluff, though; no way would Noé agree to harming the kid.

oh my god.

(”don’t forget to cover his mouth as you would a hostage, like so” akfdsajkfhkjf)

Noé, you are too innocent, too pure.

And she folds like a house of cards.

I don’t think even Vanitas expected this plan to work so well.

Oh, a little bit of crazy eyes there. This is gonna be a Thing, isn’t it? Vanitas, who, as far as we know, owes his loyalty to nothing and no one uses this to kick Jeanne while she’s down.

Heh, wonder what’s gonna happen when Vanitas finds something he wants to protect.

That is definitely a plotting look in his eye. He just saw how to use this to his advantage.

1. um what

2. hey, is this the first time we’ve seen him bare handed? It’s nice to know he doesn’t have actual claws under those gloves.

3. speaking of which, is that ‘my strength is suddenly gone’ bit because there IS something magic-related about his hands, or is she just in shock?

4. that is a very unnerving look. Vanitas, what are you doing

...holy crap, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??

Vanitas what are you doing

Shit, this is why the chapter was called “Love Femme Fatale”, oh geez.

dante, why do you look the most freaked out out of everyone?

Alright, I know Vanitas has been set up as being utterly unscrupulous, what with the lying and taking a little boy as a hostage and using a bloodthirsty monster to do his dirty work, etc, but seriously, someone needs to introduce him to the tenants of the #metoo campaign. Sure, fine, she tried to kill him two minutes ago, but this feels like a line too far.

...

Yeah, this ain’t real. The disdain, the fear, the calculation from before -- that was genuine. This is another bluff.

And I think I know why he’s doing it. Fighting Jeanne made it very clear that she is waaaaay out of his league, strength-wise. He only won through guile, and it’s a trick that might not work again. This woman has a well-earned, blood-soaked reputation, and she was gonna walk away from this fight seeing Vanitas as an enemy to herself and Luca.

But Vanitas saw her weakness -- she lets her bonds with those she cares about distract her. She’s a killer, but she’s sentimental. Emotional.

So, if you’re Vanitas, how do you deal with this, knowing that Jeanne the Hellfire Witch might become a problem for you down the line? How do you plan to defeat a potential foe who is so much stronger than you, someone you could never hope to defeat in a fair fight?

Apparently, if you’re Vanitas, you try to seduce them.

Even if the actual seduction part doesn’t work, you can still mess with her head just enough to make her confused, maybe make her a little more likely to hesitate when it’s time for the gauntlet to finally come down.

And a split-second’s hesitation could be all Vanitas would need to make his counter.

(sidenote: i still think it’s  h i l a r i o u s  that Dante is the most outraged about all this kissing and love declaration stuff. Noé apparently can’t hear any of this at all, which I think is very convenient. We don’t get to see his reaction to this kind of game until later, apparently.)

Uh-oh. Looks like this kid is powerful and very, very pissed.

“A large-scale “formula” revision” mmhmm, okay, what’s that supposed to mean? Am I getting an explanation for the magic system yet?

Looks like it’s not just Luca keeping Jeanne from going off the rails -- she does the same for him.

Look at that. She’s throwing death threats but now she’s blushing, she sure as hell wouldn’t have been blushing before he kissed her, the stupid plan is working.

And honestly, aggravation and confusion are probably going to work better than actual tender feelings in this seduction. He’s going to play this role to the goddamn hilt.

Look at that face, the jerk.

Alright, that’s a better face.

Noé has no idea what he’s getting into, the poor soul.

(he didn’t have much of a presence in this chapter, did he. maybe Jeanne is mostly going to be a Vanitas subplot instead of a Vanitas-and-Noé subplot)

Apparently we’ve traded one killer on the streets for another. And even more intriguing -- he recognized this killer. ‘Course, now he’s dead, so I don’t know how useful that’s gonna be.

Whimsical creature of darkness! I did not miss you.

The true threat is revealed with a name -- “Charlatan”. But, you know --

(Charlatan: a person who falsely pretends to know or be something.)

-- which makes me think there’s proooobably something else behind this guy. He is a fake, after all. (Though, hey, ‘charlatan’ is a nice contrast with Vanitas the doctor, don’t you think.)

That’s all for chapter 4! What a night, eh?

Next, CHAPTER 5.

[bemused-writer]

VNC Chapter 44 Analysis

Well, I think the main takeaway most people had with this chapter is that Vanitas is a lot less collected than we all thought. And I completely agree. XD Clearly, I've given this fellow too much credit in my fanfic.

Anyhow, it almost goes without saying that we learned a lot about Vanitas in this chapter, but we also learned a surprisingly large amount about Roland, so let's dig in.

The first thing that struck me as noteworthy was Noé's complete and utter overreaction. We already knew that he never really had to do things for himself with Louis and Dominique constantly taking care of him when he was young. For example, Mochizuki pointed out that they always helped him clean his room, and he is now terrible at being tidy. In other words, Noé was a touch spoiled. This is relevant because it explains why he has never had to take care of an ill person once in his life, so if Vanitas says he can't continue on then, by Noé's logic, he really must be dying.

Thus, it's completely fair when Manet and Nox wonder if these two are children; they're both certainly acting like it. XD

Still, Noé is coming from a place of genuine concern; he's never seen Vanitas act like this just like we haven't.

Before I move on, one thing I'd like to point out is the difference between Noé and Luca's reaction to the people they care about acting oddly. Luca immediately goes to someone he knows Jeanne trusts--a friend in other words. Meanwhile, Noé goes to the nearest authority figure he can find: Count Orlok. I think this is telling on both their parts.

Luca is someone who was raised to be the authority figure. While he doesn't like it even remotely, he knows he has to solve things for himself. He probably also knows the value of going to someone you know you can trust; he's surrounded by the aristocracy and he knows you can't trust just anyone with delicate information.

Noé has blind faith in authority figures on the other hand. He obeys Teacher without question, accepts Ruthven's presence in his hotel room as something he has a right to do in chapter 19, and he always listens to Dominique no matter what. Both she and Teacher are the ones that choose what his clothes look like according to the extra in the back of volume 3.

I suppose what I'm getting at is that Noé is very comfortable, accustomed even, to other people making decisions for him. He's not the one who has chosen most anything in his life, and I think this attitude started when he was very young. Certainly being sold as a slave and accepting that whoever bought him would be his "master" was a mindset he probably had to develop to survive and he may not have fully grown out of it. I'm sure it was only compounded by being surrounded by people who doted on him and protected him and made sure he never even had to make a decision for himself. His attitude is born of a very strange mix of neglect and indulgence.

In other words, Noé has a lot of potential problems he needs to sort out, and I'm sure his independence is going to be one of them.

Getting back on track, all of this is to say it's not surprising Noé goes to Count Orlok when he can't find Amelia. In theory, he could have tracked Dante down, someone Vanitas sort-of trusts, but he doesn't. It could because it would have been too hard to find him, but personally I don't think it even crossed his mind. He doesn't know what to do; someone else is supposed to handle these matters.

As for Vanitas, he is a complete wreck in this chapter. XD I think Vanitas is the kind of character that likes to act like he's calm, collected, and definitely knows what he's doing. It's even easy for us, the readers, to think the same because he has the book, he has the powers, he knows all about vampires when even the vampire protagonist doesn't, so it would make sense.

But all of that ignores the fact that Vanitas has also shown some definite signs of being slightly unhinged in awkward social situations from the very start. How does he befriend Noé? He stalks him all across Paris. How does he react when Noé gets closer to understanding him? He draws a dagger at him and tells him to go away. Alternatively, he calls him a slur and tries to make him leave. How does he handle Dominique accusing him of loving VotBM? He goes on a full-blown rant in the middle of a vampiric ball and generally makes a fool of himself.

So, the fact that he's a complete mess when he realizes he has genuine affection for someone is actually a lot less surprising in this context. Vanitas is trying to be someone he isn't. In other words, all that pompous know-how is a complete facade. 8D

So, in line with him making a fool of himself at the ball, he proceeds to make a fool of himself in front of Orlok, Nox, and Manet and, frankly, Noé.

Manet understandably wasn't expecting this information, but what's more interesting is that it confirms the fact that Vanitas really hadn't told Noé a thing after Gévaudan. The fact that he has now snapped and is telling everyone in the whole room shows just how affected he was. But what's also interesting is that he only starts to talk about this when there are other people. He couldn't just tell Noé himself. Perhaps because he thinks Noé won't have any advice?

And this is the definition of oversharing. XD Even Noé looks like he's wondering what on earth Vanitas is saying.

Honestly, this is more the kind of awkward, wildly inappropriate confession I might expect from Noé except that Noé would have the sense to only say something like this to someone he trusts, like when he told Dominique he thought Vanitas's blood smelled good. Still not the most tactful thing, but a whole lot better than describing, in some detail, the torrid affair you're having to a room full of people you barely know. 8D

As a side note, this pretty much confirms what I was saying in my last meta: Vanitas didn't enjoy Jeanne drinking his blood previously, at least not all that much. This time he did, and that definitely shows a shift in their relationship. As for how all of that works, it could be because Jeanne is fonder of him as well. Perhaps a vampire's toxin is in tune with that kind of thing? Unfortunately, we just don't know enough at this point to say.

Regardless, it means that when Vanitas went on that long rant to Jeanne in chapter 12 about how great it felt when she drank his blood and how they were definitely compatible, was yet more lying. It's kind of, possibly, true now though, hence his freakout.

Anyway, Orlok and co. decided Vanitas's "emergency" really wasn't that much of an emergency and they were understandably kicked out. I like that they were apparently very careful with Murr and included some treats for him as well. They really do love that cat. Knowing what we kind of know about Murr now I have to wonder: is this some kind of elaborate manipulation...?

But Noé, apparently still taking Vanitas's malady very seriously despite all that weird stuff about Jeanne, is not content with being kicked out.

I suppose the point here is that, despite knowing what Vanitas said was improper, he still isn't quite catching the gravity of things, and he's still convinced Vanitas is dying rather than having an existential breakdown over love.

Meanwhile, Vanitas is walking around in a haze in Paris, thinking about Jeanne, her smile, and the promise he made her. We get a look at his face, and I think it actually gives some pretty solid insight into what he's thinking:

He clenches his fist, his face is flushed, and he looks worried, distressed. The problem here isn't just that he cares about someone and doesn't know how to deal with it. No, it's actually much worse than that: he cares about someone and he promised he'd kill her if she ever lost herself and Vanitas, cursed with a certain understanding of just how bad things can get, knows he might actually have to keep this promise, a promise he may now regret making.

So, he's flustered because he cares, frightened because he cares, but also terrified because he knows things can only go badly from here. And, more than anything else, he knows he might actually be in love.

It only makes sense he'd think of Noé's original question here. It's not just that Noé is the one who's been trying to figure all this out (not Vanitas), but Vanitas knows Noé is the reason he's gotten into this much "trouble" in the first place. Opening up, caring about people, making promises he might not be able to keep... He is definitely blaming Noé for all of that. I wouldn't be surprised if he finds a way of blaming Noé for his romantic entanglement as well, which may be the actual reason he's avoided talking to Noé: he blames him, but he's also supremely embarrassed.

And in the midst of all this confusion and pain who is added to the picture? None other than our one and only Roland!

I think that might be my favorite image of the whole chapter. XD

Earlier in this meta I mentioned that we almost learn more about Roland in this chapter than anyone else, and it's thanks to Vanitas's exchange with him that we do!

The first thing we learn about Roland is something we've already had inklings of in earlier chapters: he's far more tactful and calculative than he would have people believe. He refers to Vanitas as "Vincent" and says Olivier is his coworker. Immediately, he has established that, for one, he's very good with details. He remembers exactly how Vanitas introduced himself and Noé when they first met. Furthermore, he knows Vanitas likely doesn't want to get further entangled in chasseur affairs, so he lets him know that he isn't with a random friend: this is someone potentially dangerous to Vanitas.

Not that it does much good because Vanitas isn't exactly thinking clearly.

This one, singular statement from Olivier is surprisingly revealing! I'd had a headcanon that Roland has had past relationships and it turns out that is absolutely true. Apparently, Olivier not only knows about them, he doesn't care, provided Roland isn't out and about doing anything else. He doesn't say what, specifically, because Vanitas is there, but we already know he's worried about what Roland is doing with the chasseurs and whether he's going to betray the Church. Not so much because he thinks Roland is wrong, exactly, but because he doesn't want any trouble for himself.

These two have an odd relationship. XD Olivier clearly understands the way Roland is, accepts it even, but he draws the line at Roland dragging everyone else into his schemes, hence why he offered to buy Vanitas the coffee in the first place.

Anyway, Vanitas ignores all that because Olivier brought up the only subject he cares about and wants advice on: women.

This is my other favorite image from this chapter. His face is the perfect encapsulation of "What are you doing? I was just trying to get you out of trouble and now you're sitting down? You're going to stay?!" The fixed grin, the panic. This is a thing of beauty.

Naturally, things only get more awkward because that's just the trajectory Vanitas has set for himself in this chapter.

I also just want to point out that the smoking, the string of relationships, the casual dining, the flying, the actual job, all point to Roland being a fair amount older than Noé and Vanitas. Probably mid-20s about? I'm sure that he and Olivier are the same age, regardless, though potentially from different class backgrounds. Olivier is decked out in aristocratic garb and Roland is dressed for flying. That doesn't necessarily mean he's poorer, but the impression I get from him is that he's probably middle class at most. I think there was an extra that mentioned he supports his siblings? I'm not sure now.

Anyway, after those 15 minutes of awkward rambling, Vanitas finally gets around to the question he's been meaning to ask. Apparently, Roland knows all about it.

There's kind of a lot to cover in those three images. Roland has not only had past relationships, he's had several. Judging by Olivier's remark, they've all been remarkably short. One has to wonder if we're talking one-night-stand kind of short or it-lasted-for-a-week-before-my-preaching-became-too-much kind of short. Maybe Mochizuki will enlighten us someday. XD

But the most interesting thing is how hesitant Roland is to discuss Olivier's relationships and how Olivier doesn't even deign Vanitas's question with an answer. Yes, he's popular, but no, he's not going to talk about who he's with and neither is Roland. When Roland says "I'm one thing, but Olivier...?" it could mean a few things: he thinks it makes sense for himself to be "promiscuous" but the thought of Olivier being the same is impossible. Personally, I find this the most likely for now. Alternatively, it's one thing to casually discuss his own affairs, but gossiping about a friend goes against his code of honor and Vanitas is kind of asking a personal question. There is also a third possibility that Roland can't imagine Olivier with a woman. Olivier's popular, but he's not interested. Naturally, Roland wouldn't announce that to the world and it isn't particularly relevant to Vanitas's question anyway.

Whatever the reason, it subtly demonstrates how well the two know each other.

Vanitas finally gets to the heart of things, and it fits in with what I thought happened:

This really was the first time Vanitas saw Jeanne for who she was, as an actual person, and not just someone he can mess with. Before that particular moment, he truly knew nothing of Jeanne. Now, he's finally had a glimpse of her actual personality and it's incredibly genuine, forthright, and strong. Of course, now that he sees that, how can he not find her at least a little appealing? And how can he not now be forced to reckon with his past behavior? He was horrid, there's no getting around it. Regret isn't something Vanitas handles well along with, apparently, emotions in general. Hence his next dilemma:

And at long last, Noé is finally seeing what the problem actually is. He didn't piece it together at Orlok's, but he's now hearing it from Vanitas directly. It's no wonder Noé surreptitiously sits away so he can listen. This whole time he's been wanting Vanitas to explain things to him, not just about the cold, but about love as well.

Roland is trying to be helpful here but, let's be honest, Vanitas is dropping a lot on him out of the blue, so I think it's understandable that he's a little confused right now.

And we finally get to the heart of the whole thing: Vanitas thinks he's a disgusting person. Someone like Jeanne definitely shouldn't love him because the only kind of person who could love him is someone who is as awful as he is and he's now been confronted with the fact that maybe Jeanne isn't. There relationship has a ton of issues, don't get me wrong, but Vanitas isn't seeing that; he's seeing that Jeanne has been kind to him, seems to care about him, and that definitely isn't the kind of person who would love him. Not genuinely.

The whole thing gets even more confusing if we take into account that his decidedly romantic moment with Jeanne reminded him of VotBM. They weren't having a romantic moment, but the discussion of affection, of hugs, were directly intertwined. Until we know more about VotBM I can't say if she was motherly or if things were decidedly more questionable there, but Vanitas must have gotten his twisted ideas about relationships from someone. Did VotBM have a bad relationship with someone? Did his past trauma simply color everything else in his life?

Olivier and Roland are understandably concerned, but it's Noé here that really stands out. He's pieced something together about Vanitas and now understands him a little bit better. After each arc, he and Vanitas have had a small conversation that brings them closer, but so far they haven't had that in this particular arc. My guess is it will be in the next chapter or the one after (since this one was labeled "part 1") and the arc will be wrapped up for good. There is, genuinely, a lot of stuff they need to cover about Gévaudan, Vanitas's relationship with Jeanne, and what they're doing next. There's also the small matter of Noé's injuries....

So, these two are going to have a lot to cover and Roland knows that right now, what Vanitas needs, is someone to talk to that he properly trusts. I almost wonder if he timed his dramatic God speech just so Noé could chase after him to begin with.

This really reads as "Go to him, Gilbert" and that amuses me.

Roland knew Noé was there the whole time (he's observant as we've mentioned) and he knows he and Vanitas have a powerful bond. He himself was inspired so much by it he changed his views on vampires completely. So, logically, he knows Noé needs to talk to Vanitas.

But Roland's motivations are still a bit harder to describe.

This much makes sense. The fact that he's had a string of lovers and doesn't seem particularly dejected by his constant breakups makes it obvious he wasn't particularly attached to any of them. He speaks about love as if he knows what it is, but he's never been that invested in a person to our knowledge. The only person we've seen him spend any length of time with is Olivier and they have a complicated relationship at best. Are we to assume he at least has an attachment to him? He threatened him before, but he also seems fond of him, and Olivier at least seems comfortable around Roland in turn.

And yet, Roland speaks of attachment as if it's a foreign thing to him. We know he has family, we know he has Olivier, he even has God, but like Olivier said: he believes in himself as a follower of God more than God Himself. Perhaps it's best said that the only thing we really know about Roland is that he's confident in himself, his own morals and beliefs.

And I think that's how Vanitas fits into Roland's worldview to a certain extent. Vanitas is a project of sorts: Roland wants to save him, very much in the religious and physical sense, and he knows Vanitas is in danger every day at least physically. Perhaps he worries for his soul as well, not necessarily that he's going to Hell, but that he has lost himself and could "shatter" at any moment.

Oddly, Noé isn't brought up in this conversation whatsoever even though the person Roland showers with blatant affection is Noé, not Vanitas. This could very likely be because he knows Vanitas isn't receptive to that kind of thing; it's a tactic that works great with Noé, but definitely not with his companion and Roland is above all a calculative person.

And that's all I've got for now! I do like that Roland and Olivier dropped their serious conversation about an actual Vampire Eradication Unit to deal with Vanitas's love life. That's pretty supportive. XD Also, there's a Vampire Eradication Unit that Gano is a part of and if that isn't one of the main plot points of the next arc it will be soon enough.

Anyway, I look forward to seeing how Jeanne handled things. It looks like she's done at least moderately better than Vanitas, but most people would. XD

[joshnekuu]

So I know not everyone feels this way, but from what I’ve seen, Sieg/Jeanne is generally disliked by fans of Apocrypha? Or at least, many people seem to agree that it feels forced, for various reasons. And from what I’ve seen and read I have to agree that I feel like Jeanne and Sieg’s relationship, as a romance, seems pretty forced.

The story wants us to believe that it is some dramatic tale of true love. They show us this by having Sieg and Jeanne met at the end of time or the other side of the universe or whatever, a direct parallel to Saber and Shirou at the end of Fate Route- love so strong and true that they are somehow reunited against all odds. But does is ever really feel like it earned that? The novels even say outright that Jeanne and Sieg have only known each other for a couple of days, and they spend a lot of that time dancing around with ‘are these Laeticia’s feelings of Jeanne’s feelings? Who knooooooowwwss~’, along with Sieg not really having enough experience to know what romance even is, let alone how to identify those feelings within himself.

And I think the weirdest thing to me is that on paper, they seem like a pretty solid ship? Sure, call it cliche, call it predictable, but as a concept, the idea of exploring Jeanne D’Arc as a young woman who died for her beliefs before she ever had a chance to consider or pursue love, and therefore not knowing how to identify it within herself, much less properly act on it, is a cute and potentially moving premise. Pairing her up with a young man who has pretty much nothing but his beliefs, and no experience in being human, feels like a strong premise. Jeanne helps Sieg learn how to be human, and in the process, learns more about herself, and over time they start to develop feelings for each other that they cannot really understand because they have no frame of reference- but the human girl that Jeanne is possessing understands, and has to help Jeanne to understand it too. 

This sounds like a good idea? It sounds like it could work? So why does it not work for so many people? I can only speak for myself, but even then, when I look at it all as a concept it seems like it should work and I’m not entirely sure where they go wrong. And I don’t want to say that it’s just ‘Astolfo’, because even though having Astolfo be the one to rescue Sieg and inspire in him the will to live just for the sake of living and become his Servant all kind of wreak of romantic subtext without even trying, there has to be more than just ‘they accidentally wrote a love interest in someone else’ (and not everyone who doesn’t ship Jeanne/Sieg ships Sieg/Astolfo, obviously). 

Is it the pacing of the story? With Jeanne being introduced before Sieg, Sieg being introduced late, and Astolfo meeting Sieg and bonding with him before Jeanne even finds out Sieg exists? Is their relationship just at a disadvantage from the get go? 

Does it have anything to do with relying on Laeticia as a filter for Jeanne’s feelings, while Jeanne’s actual thoughts on love and how it feels to fall for someone for the first time get sort of covered up by that? Are they telling us more than they’re showing, or are they just not showing us enough? 

Is it due to Sieg feeling like a ‘self insert’ to some people, an their relationship essentially being a surrogate or the reader to imagine Jeanne falling for someone like them? Does having a character who is literally a Saint make things feel weird? What about the romance fails to grab people as much as the story wants it to?

Again, I know not everyone finds Sieg/Jeanne forced or dislikes it, but @ the people who just aren’t feeling it, I’m really curious to know if anyone has any thoughts on why the relationship feels forced and doesn’t work.