#don’t worry about the thing with Wiley I’m sure nothing bad will come from that ever /sarc

[ivorydoves]

Elio doesn’t have too much of a presence in Black Friday, but they do end up interacting with Linda a little bit. Thanks to (lore) Elio has, well, “Wiggly’s scent” on them but no Wiggly doll 😔 Not that they want one because they’re a little snot but yk

Their whole storyline in Black Friday is mostly spent with the wonderful @that-dense-idiot ‘s oc Stamps, he’s neat! He helps Elio not die two whole times

Yeah… yeah I put Elio through the wringer in the Black Friday au >:/ This is what they get for being annoying or.. smth

Feel free to imagine the pins on their jacket as whatever! I don’t feel like designing them lmao

EXTRAS :3 !!!

[jamiedc-they-them]

Being Maeve Wiley’s sibling would include

·         

She’s affectionate, in her own way. 

·         Be that: Waiting for you after school, waiting for you if you have detention (which happens a lot), the nicknames (mainly “Dickhead”), or sometimes just listening to you rant when you clearly needs to vent. 

·         She cares about you a lot. She’s protective. 

·         If anyone, anyone, talks ill of you, she’s there to kick their ass. 

·         She’s gotten in trouble for it, but to her it’s worth it. 

·         However, she isn’t possessive.

·         She lets you have your own life. Own group of friends and what not. 

·         Two of those friends are Otis and Eric. 

·         She doesn’t really mind, she can tell that they do some good to you. 

·         Your lives aren’t the best, so she’s just happy that you have some friends. 

·         You know Aimee and are her friend too. 

·         On your bad days, Maeve can tell. Not just from you being her sibling, but also from a read she gets from you. 

·         She can read you like a book. 

·         However, you both hide your emotions, so it normally ends with you both telling the other to fuck off. 

·         Although, after a while, you normally do end up talking. Normally late into the night. 

·         She’s the acedemic, you’re the creative. 

·         Whenever you have an idea for a new story (be it original, or fan stuff) she can see a spark in your eye. 

·         You have a notepad of ideas. One you keep guarded close to you. 

·         She also keeps an eye out for it. 

·         One time, it goes missing. You’re alarmed, of course. But so is she. 

·         Otis witnesses a moment of her being soft as she comforts you:

·         She rubs your arm, “We’ll find it, don’t worry.” 

·         She enlists Otis’ help. 

·         When they find it, she tells you about the clinic. 

·         She knows how creative you can be, so she goes to you to help. Be a kind of PR manager. 

·         So, that’s your role in the scheme. 

·         Maeve, Otis, and Eric mainly let you get on with your life, only bringing you in when you’re needed to drum up some business. 

·         You figure out your own identity (asexual, aromantic) but are unsure on how to tell your sister. 

·         However, she can tell something is bothering you, so she pulls Otis aside and asks him to help you:

·         “You care about Y/N, right?” She asks him.

·         “Of course.”

·         “I need you to talk to them. Do your thing with them.”

·         “Why, what’s wrong?”

·         “I think they’re struggling to tell me something. I – I don’t want to force it out of them, I just want them to be ok.”

·         So, Otis pulls you aside. He sits you down and talks to you:

·         “I’m doing this, as a friend, as a favour to Maeve, and as a sex-therapist. So, what can I help you with, Y/N.”

·         And, you tell him. He tries to explain it, but it doesn’t make you feel anymore comfortable.

·         That night, in the RV, she sees you bummed out.

·         “What’s wrong?” She asks, pouring herself a drink.

·         “Otis tried to help me out today. Didn’t go very well.”

·         She tries not to show it, but she feels a bit guilty for it and hurt that it didn’t work out.

·         “Can I help?”

·         She sits with you as you try and explain it: how you never want to have sex or have a boyfriend/girlfriend/romantic partner.

·         She just sits there and listens, small smile on her face as she sees that spark in you again.

·         She then reaches over with a tentative hand, “Ok, that sounds good. I’ll ward them off for you, then. More for me.”

·         You share a hug, just happy that she’s accepted it.

·         You tell her about Otis’ crush on her, “I know, stupid.” Is her answer.

·         You meet Jackson, and he seems decent, if a bit condenscending at times.

·         Then Sean comes back.

·         Maeve does the talking for you, knowing that this is a sore spot for you.

·         Although, he does try and talk to you.

·         You mainly ignore him.

·         “Maeve –”

·         “Fuck off, Sean. Y/N doesn’t want to talk to you.”

·         As said before, she’s protective and respects your choice.

·         And, again, not possessive, she won’t force you to talk to him if you don’t want to.

·         When it comes to the dance, she looks at him differently.

·         Then it turns out that Jackson had got tips from Otis.

·         You leave with your sister, annoyed at your friend.

·         Then you almost get busted for drugs.

·         Like Otis, Maeve assures Groff that you had nothing to do with it:

·         “Y/N had nothing to do with it, either. Leave them out of it.”

·         “Oh, I’m sure Y/N is innocent, miss Wiley. They aren’t as misguided as you.”

·         They hurt, but she takes them.

·         She is then expelled, but tells you not to worry about it.

·         “I’ll find a job, Y/N. I promise.”

·         So, time goes by.

·         You keep going to school, patch things up with your friends and start a new year.

·         Maeve comes back, much to your delight:

·         “Can I just say that I’m happy to see you.”

·         “Shut up.”

·         “Aw, is Maeve embarrassed that I care?”

·         “Fuck off, seriously.”

·         Then she drops a bombshell:

·         “I don’t think I’m over Otis.”

·         “…Oh, bloody hell.”

·         You stay out of it, letting them do what they do.

·         Now, your mum is back.

·         She, like Sean, tries to talk to you.

·         But, Maeve is having none of it.

·         “You can’t force Y/N to talk to you if they don’t want to.”

·         “I just want them to know that I’m back for good –”

·         “Oh, until you leave again. I’ve got them.”

·         You both seem to fall and care for your younger sister quite quickly.

·         She actually pulls you both closer as you both take care of her when mum is at “work”

·         Maeve introduces you to Isaac. Who you get along with fairly well.

·         Then the big one comes, the party at Otis’.

·         Now, you were on good grounds with your friend.

·         Despite your sister’s crush, she didn’t mind too much that you got along with Ola.

·         She knew you weren’t going to get involved, didn’t really want you to.

·         You both lived your own lives, after all.

·         At the party, someone does hit on you, much to your discomfort.

·         It happens right as she arrives:

·         “Come on, love, let’s go up-“

·         “No….no thank you.”

·         “Aw, come on –”

·         “Hey, they said no. Fuck off and go vomit.”

·         That’s her greeting to you.

·         You do get drunk, but she keeps a watchful eye on you as you let loose.

·         She’s happy for you, having a chance to be free; to be yourself.

·         Then Otis does his speech:

·         “And Y/N. My dear, dear friend, Y/N. They’re torn, really, between myself and Maeve. They’re a good friend, but I expect them to choose her.”

·         That’s just one of the things he says.

·         Maeve walks you home, keeping you upright.

·         She lets you pass out on the sofa.

·         The next morning she gives you some water:

·         “Listen, I have detention. So, take this, stay in today and I’ll see you later, alright?” she says softly.

·         You sleep for most of that day, meaning you miss everything going down with Isaac and your mother.

·         Maeve makes sure to keep an eye on you as you vomit up a lot of what you had to drink.

·         Pretty? No. But, she rubs your back as you let it all out.

·         “Do you want to come to the finals with me today? Get some air?”

·         You go, sitting next to Aimee.

·         On the way, Maeve tells you about her experience, but Aimee seems a bit more confident now. She even gives you a smile and hug as you enter.

·         You watch as they narrowly win, hugging Maeve as she spins you around.

·         Going back, you see what’s happened, with your Mother being taken away.

·         You look to Maeve as you realise what she’s done:

·         “I had to, Y/N. She’s dangerous.”

·         You swallow it and nod, knowing that she is right.

·         And, just like that, your mother is gone. Now it’s just the two of you left.

·         But, you know you can take it on, whatever it is, together.

·         Your protective of each other, just not possessive.

·         You can live your own lives, but you always have a home with each other.

·         Damaged? Sure. But, a home’s a home.

[melchron]

Nightmare Time Episode 3 Thoughts

I usually save this for the end of my thoughts but I have to say this now. OMG MATT DAHAN!!! I WILL NEVER NOT BE IMPRESSED BY HIM! Usually with the episodes I catch 1 or 2 motifs but I swear I caught everyone this time. And they all fit so well. My attention was evenly split between the music and the story this time. It was so freaking good. Matt deserves all the awards like omg.

I think this is the least laggy the theme has been. Good job going all out for the last one!

I said to my mom "Did Shashona record this video?" and she did!! Great cinematography Shashona!!

I also pointed out the Tim's daddy mask. I said "Aww he's wearing a mask for his son!". I guess my mom got confused and forgot Tim's name because she thought I was talking about Dylan's (nonexistent) son.

THE DRILL PRESSES!!

LEX AND ETHAN

I kind of already knew this but I love that Ethan knows cars. I just likes that he has a hobby.

Lex cares about Tom so much I love it.

WHY DID JANE TRY TO KILL ETHAN?!?!?!? TOM DOESN'T WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO HIM!!!! DID SHE HAVE SOME PERSONAL REASONS LIKE WHY!?!??!

That Lexthan interaction was so cute. I love how he saw she was super sorry and scared and he just stopped being mad and comforted her. They are so cute I can't handle it!!

KENDALL!!! Ok so through out this whole thing I know everyone was excited for their favorite character to come back but I really just wanted to see Kendall again. I guess after BF I assumed we would never see her again because I couldn't see them working with children becoming a normal thing. But when the original cast announcement came out I got so happy to see her name. So I was super excited to see her.

Her covering her hair with a beanie looks better than the wig

UNCLE PAUL I'M SOFT I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!!!!

Cineplex Teen is like Larry from tawog. I guess we should start calling him Obnoxious Teen then. Until we get a name.

I love that Tim immediately likes Becky. Wish I could say the same for my stepparents.

Santa Claus Is Going To High School bb. Also I want to hear the rest of that song. Also also how many wigs does Lauren own?

TONY GREEN

Why must they make love to this movie everytime? Can't we simply just watch it and make fun of like normal people? That way Tim can enjoy it too.

Good for Jane for making sure her son doesn't have to eat disgusting school lunch. She gets good mom points.

Aww Becky reassuring him he's not a Dummy

Becky is like really horny this episode. Honestly Tom's into so go ahead girl

JAIME IS JANE

OK OK OK SO Jane said they were driving home from her parents house. Which means they were still alive when Jane died. That was only a year and a half ago so the Perkins parents might have died more recently than we thought. It's like Spring of 2019 right? So Jane died around Fall 2017. I don't remember if this was said in the show (it probably was and I'm saying nothing new) but I think Black Friday takes place about a year after her death. Tgwdlm took place October 2018. They have to have died only a few months before then. How long had Emma been in Hatchetfield before tgwdlm? Maybe there is a possibility we can see a flashback of an interaction with her parents depending on how long it's been. Also that means Emma lost her whole family in the span of a few months omg. And Tim lost his mom and his grandparents in that time. I want to see how they grieved with all of that. Also I know I'm crossing universes here but Emma also almost died the same day Jane did. Some strange force must really have it out for the Perkins family. Good on Emma for surviving like a champ.

Ok so I thought they went scouting for girls because Jane didn't want the man she loved to have to devote the rest of his life to a car. I thought she was trying to help him move on. She was getting good lover points but those have since been redacted.

Jane is definitely bi and I love that for her. I don't care if she tried to kill her new crush. It was new enough for it to mean nothing.

GREENPEACE GIRL

Tom does look like a creep ngl

Jane reminds us she's a car a lot. Like girl we get it.

No. No. No. NO NO NO NO NO NO NOPE! We're not talking about it. I don't want to. I stared at James the whole and honestly same dude. I saw Nick in my peripheral vision and loved/hated that he was laughing. RIP to me watching this with my mom. RIP to Kendall. Actually rip to everyone who had to sit through that. RIP to Jaime and Dylan for having to perform that. RIP to the cursed rehearsals. Matt and Nick seriously took the time to sit down and write that. What the heck you two?!? This made me more uncomfy than the entirety of mamd and Ted's character combined. I wish I was exaggerating. Maybe this was just me but it felt longer than it needed to. The relief and worry I felt when Tim walked in is a feeling I can not explain. Glad he was clueless.

Tim sweetie I love you but SHUT UP

Jane is crazy and Jaime is doing such an amazing job at portraying that.

Yes Tom. Because grave digging is way crazier than possessed cars.

I asked my mom why the didn't just go grave digging for Jane's body but my mom said the body is probably all rotted and gross so that explains that.

Why didn't Becky just go inside? If she went far enough I doubt Jane would have been able to hit her even if she managed to break into the house. Also let's assume Becky's house had an upstairs. There, perfect safety.

Did Becky seriously die in the same woods as Stanley?

Ok so I thought the tree thing was a reference to little Irish girl Becky from the Black Friday sk10 stream. But now it seems like something more serious and bad happened so I'm curious.

DID JANE GET TOM ARRESTED?!?!? It seemed like she could drive herself at that point. Why not let him get out and get Becky yourself? Is this that self confidence thing Tom talked about?

Is she really about to have her son be obsessed with Ms. Becky for the rest of their lives or is she gonna tell him?

This next episode made me physically jump twice. I say literally a lot but I promise you I'm using it correctly when I say I literally jumped.

KENDALL'S SINGING

I saw the thing about the ukelele being a bday gift from the cast so this was super sweet

Ok personal time. My grandmother's name is Pamela and my mom decided to permanently cut ties with her a few months ago due to her abusive behavior. Me and my sibling are still allowed to talk to her whenever we please but we haven't seen her as much as we used to. I got kind of scared watching this with my mom because I was scared this would trigger something. She didn't say anything and I didn't want to bother her about if she was fine so I didn't say anything. Anyway this just kind of hit different for me.

JAIME'S RANGE OMG

"I want to be alone with my man." Ms what are you about to do to your Tv?

DON'T GIVE HER BEER

Duke seems chill. I like him.

LEX AND ETHAN GOT ARRESTED!?!?!? FOR SELLING HER PILLS!?!??! THAT SHE TOLD THEM TO SELL!?!?!? I HATE HER!!!

Does Ms. Foster have a type or is being male good enough?

Hannah's 14? I thought she was the same age as Tim. I could have sworn in the BF commentary track they said she was 9 or 10. Did my brain make that up?

How does Kim change her hair so quickly? She did this in episode 2 too? I could never. I am very impressed.

Curt and Kim talking over the phone while standing shoulder to shoulder was funnier than it should have been

Ms. Holloway is cool. YAY MOSTLY GOOD WITCHES

How does Ms. Holloway know? I need a backstory please!!

Ok so I saw Jon in his cape and thought he might be the with. But then I saw James in his cape I y'know stopped thinking that. Anyway I'm obsessed with Jon and James in capes. Kind of wish Corey had one too.

OH I JUST THOUGHT THIS AS I'M TYPING NOW ok so that tree she was talking to at the beginning was one of the tree people. I'm embarrassed it took me this long to realise it.

Hannah is way too calm about these talking trees and sometimes spider ladies. I respect that.

There was a lot of black and white theming in this episode. More than normal. It makes me more curious about what exactly Hannah's connection to it is.

Hannah almost died in her own mind. I was kinda hating Ms. Holloway in this moment because she forced Hannah to go into her mind. But I know she had to so I'm cool with her again.

THE STARLIGHT THEATER

Did she really say just don't be scared next time? Like miss some actual advice would help.

CAN MS. HOLLOWAY'S MIND LEAVE HANNAH ALONE?? Like I know you didn't get the reaction you wanted out of her but you're seriously gonna give up and go for a little girl instead. Pathetic.

"What's shakin', Banana?" That was the first time I jumped.

WIGGLY

What exactly is that 6-legged girl? I wish we had a visual. Also how couldn't Ms. Holloway help her? What was her issue? Npmd you got anything for me?

Wiley. Just seeing him come up. That was the second time I jumped.

Also everyone already said this but props to Joey for his commitment. Shaving in between episodes like omg sir you didn't have to go all out for this. But you did and I appreciate you for it. Also HE KEPT THE JACKET?? WHAT!??! Just fully committed to this character go off Joey!!

Usually I would laugh at stuff phasing through the green screen but this just made it creepier.

HOLLOWAY AND WILEY/WILBUR BACKSTORY PLEASE

But also I love how the script had him listed at Wilbur above his lines. I remember Nick called him Wilbur once in the commentary track (possibly by accident) but it's nice to have it in cannon. I don't remember I any of the characters called him Wilbur because I'm so used to seeing Wilbur and Wiley used interchangeably but this was just nice to have canonized.

DUKE PAY ATTENTION!! FREAKING USELESS RIGHT NOW!!!

Dang Wiley she was already being choked in the physical world you didn't have to choke her in her mind too calm down

YAY MORE DOLLS

NICK I WAS KIDDING ABOUT AN APOTHEOSIS DOLL

Is the mouth one (I see we've named him Nibbly. Good because his full name is too long to type out) gonna be the npmd villain? The pick color theme seems cool.

ANGELA'S TRANSITION THOUGH!!! Omg she switched roles seamlessly. And her voice too!! Go off Angela.

MARIAH IS WEBBY

This is random and unrelated but I never noticed how big Mariah's eyes were before.

So Webby and the Doll Gang are all siblings? I find it interesting that the were described to all where black. And Webby's color theme is white. Like how the good and bad ukeleles were white and black. This might sound really dumb see as we don't have a 100% accurate visual of the black and white but I wonder if Webby ever left would it be 100% black? Like if Wiggly went through the portal would it become a little less black? Does this make sense? Also I'm starting to see the black and white as less of a bad place. Its starting to see more ominously neutral.

Hannah's favorite show is He-Man no I do accept criticism.

Ms. Holloway is a nerd. She saw Hannah make the reference and was like "Huh. I f she likes He-Man maybe making this hat a reference will make her like me." She would only know if she watched the show. But then again she seems to be stuck in the 80s so maybe she just thinks that's what's popular with the kids.

MS. HOLLOWAY PLEASE GET LEX AND ETHAN BACK

AND ANOTHER GREAT SONG TO END IT OFF

This episode was......a lot. So much happened. Loved all of it. I am scared of Nick and Matt's minds but also incredibly grateful for them. As usual everyone's acting was top notch.

I love this episode.

Also I'm just gonna say it. Jon ruined Nick's season one reveal.

[colorfullfalls]

I will protect you pt 2

Embry Call x Reader

Embry stormed outside the house with such speed that you forgot how fast the genetics made him. Wiley was stumbling to get off of his truck when Embry grabbed him and threw him off to the ground.

Embry was starting to get physical and you knew that the packs secret couldn't get out. You ran outside only to see Wiley shift into a wolf that was slightly smaller to Embry's. Embry stumbled back in shock, turning to you.

"Run to Emily's!" He yelled before shifting into his beautiful wolf. Your heart hammered in your chest as you raced towards the familiar house. You could hear snarks and sounds of the wolves colliding as you raced.

Once you got to the Uley's clearing you started screaming for help. Jared, Quil, and Paul all bolted out the door at your cries. Imprints were sacred and the wolves were all overprotective of any imprint. So you screaming made them immediately alert.

You were bawling as they approached, worried for your lover, "A wolf is attacking Em at their house, go save him!"

Jared and Paul shifted and ran off as Quil helped you inside. Emily and Sam were away for the weekend, so it was just you two left. Quil soothingly rubbed your back as you two anxiously waited.

Embry was the only thing on your mind. You knew he was strong and cunning, but this had been the first time you ever saw him in action. Sure the boys play around in wolf form, but never had he actually been fighting. If he was in pain it would break your heart. You should've stayed with him. Made sure he was okay. Maybe lured Wiley away from him.

No, Embry would have killed you if you had put yourself in danger like that. Would've scolded you for hours saying that he can handle it and that he would be ruined if you were to die.

It made sense that Wiley was a wolf. He was built like the boys and had similar completion. You felt dumb for not saying anything about this situation sooner. The events of tonight may have never happened if you had just told Embry about it.

It was ten minutes before you heard the boys in the yard. You jumped off of the chair and threw open the door. Jared and Paul were carrying Wiley's unconscious body as your boyfriend trailed behind them. Embry looked tired, but he gave you a look of relief as he took you into his arms. You held him tight, swaying back and forth as the boys carried Wiley inside.

"Thank God you're okay," you whispered, hugging him tighter than normal. His warm body heat reminded you that he was fine.

"I'm glad you're unharmed. Him turning into a wolf was the last thing I expected but my first thought was that he was going to come after you." His voice was coarse and deep. It always sounded like that after he freshly shifted back.

You pulled away, "He must have known that I was connected to you guys somehow..."

"Even so he is an idiot for coming on our territory and following you around like that. Maybe his pack doesn't have imprints but he is going to learn not to fuck with ours. I don't want you anywhere near him."

"Shouldn't I be involved considering he was following me?"

Embry growled and grabbed your hand, leading you into the small house. Paul and Jared were working diligently to tie up Wiley. His face was bloody and he had an ugly gash on his side close to his ribs.

You gasped at his state and went to walk closer but Embry pulled you back. Tears formed in your eyes as you looked at the stranger. He needed help.

"Please go to Sue's. I'm begging." Embry tried.

"Are you guys going to kill him?"

"No."

"Yes."

Paul and Embry replied at the same time. Embry glared at Paul for saying yes, "Really fucking helpful Paul."

"He's a creep. And he tried to attack you." Paul pointed out as if that were enough agaisnt someone.

"You're an idiot, stop talking," Quill added in, "look y/n, I will stay here and make sure that nothing bad happens to him. I promise."

"I don't know why you're trying to get rid of me..." Your feelings were hurt by Embry trying to shoo you away like a pesky fly.

"It's not that, I'm just internally freaking out with you being so close to him. Please. I will come get you when we are done." He pleaded.

"Don't bother" you mumbled, walking out.

Sue was really sweet to you while you stayed with her. She made you sweet iced tea and you two sat on the porch swing and talked about anything and everything. It was a good enough distraction but your mind always wandered back to the extravaganza occuring at the Uley residence. The place you should've been.

You knew that the boys were probably interrogating the hell out of the mysterious follower. You were puzzled that he was a wolf. You didn't even know that other wolf packs existed.

At 2 am Sue went up to her room to go to bed, leaving you alone. You sat at the kitchen counter, reading a random book that you had found on different types of flowers. The pretty imagines made you temporarily forget about the situation that was unfolding.

The sliding glass door opened and you turned. Embry stood there, looking handsome per usual.

"I thought I told you not to bother," you mumbled acting invested in the book. Embry slid off his shoes and hoisted himself up onto the counter. His tan hand reached down and shut the book putting it on the other side of him.

"You're upset with me..."

"Understatement of the year, dude."

"I apologise for sending you away. No one was sure of what was going to happen and I didn't want you there if anything went wrong."

You stared at the clock on the wall.

"Y/n, hun, talk to me."

"You made me feel inferior to you guys today, sending me off like that. I am an adult. I can handle shit when it gets ugly. You can't shield me from everything."

"I can try."

You rolled your eyes, "Wow."

"I don't know what you want me to say besides that I'm sorry. Your safety and well-being is my number one priority at all times. I can't help that. I was born that way."

"I want you to allow me to make decisions for myself Em. I was sort of shaken up and all I needed was to be near you. Instead you sent me away."

Embry slid off the counter, "I'm an asshole and I admit it. Wholeheartedly. Let's go to bed and you can come to Emily's with me tomorrow."

"Promise?"

"I promise with all of my heart."

[fanficwriter013]

The Tower: The Queen of Asgard - 2

The Tower: The Queen of Asgard An Avengers Fanfic

Series Masterlist //

Previous

Pairing:  Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 2972

Warnings: None this chapter

Synopsis: The twins are now three and while the Avengers know that Clint and Thor are the biological father’s none of them know or care which blond, blue-eyed baby is related to which man.  When Riley gets the power to control wind and it becomes evident that she is the heir to the Asgardian throne, Elly, Steve, Thor, and Tony take the twins to Asgard to train her.

Not every Asgardian is happy with their king’s choice of consort, nor the impurity of the heir’s blood.  While others expect Thor to make things more official.  What’s clear is, the role of Queen of Asgard is not easily filled.

Author’s Note: 

Chapter 2 - Daddy For

Steve, Wanda, Clint and I all stepped over to the window and looked out at the storm that had sprung up out of nowhere.  We all looked around trying to see any sign of the Bifrost opening or Thor approaching.  Riley and Pietro bounced around, their faces pressed to the glass.

“I don’t know.  Maybe that wasn’t him.”  Clint said.

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders.  “Well, hopefully, Heimdall heard me and passed on the message.”

“Don’t worry, he did.”

We all spun around and the twins ran to him.  “Daddy!”  They squealed.

“Children!”  He said with a large smile, lifting them up easily and swinging them over his head.

They both squealed and kicked their legs and when he drew them back in against him, Pietro scrambled up to his shoulder while Riley bounced in the crook of his arm.  “I missed you, daddy.”  She said, kissing his cheek.

“I know little one.  I missed you too.”  He said.

I came over to him and kissed his cheek.  “Thank you, sweetheart.”

“It sounded as if you might require some assistance.”

“Daddy, I maded da wind.  Woosh!”  Riley babbled, excitedly.

“That’s very exciting,” Thor said smiling.  She raised her hands and wiggled her fingers.  A small breeze picked up and ruffled their hair.  “Look at you.  Such a clever little one.”

His praise seemed to make her even more excited and she kicked her legs.  “Imma make fundah wike you, daddy!”

“You’re going to be like me?”  He asked, tickling her stomach.

“Yes!  Wike you!  Imma fly!”  She babbled.

“Okay, we’ll teach you how to fly, but when you’re older,” Thor said.

“Is she going to need something to channel this?”  I asked.  “Like Mjolnir?”

“I don’t think so.  We should be able to teach her to control it.  I can get her a talisman if need be, but it should not be necessary.”  Thor said.

“Where’s mew mew?”  Pietro asked, patting the back of Thor’s neck.

“I hung her by the door,” Thor said.  “Then I would have both my hands free to hold you both.”

Pietro giggled and Riley wriggled in his arms, trying to get down.  When he let her to her feet, she took his hand and started swinging from it.

“Okay, we should call a family meeting.  Try and figure this out.  Let everyone know you’re here.”  Steve said coming over to Thor.  Thor leaned in and kissed him lovingly.  Steve hummed softly and ran his hand through Thor’s hair before pulling back.  “It’s good to see you.”

“And you,” Thor replied.

“Okay, FRIDAY page everyone.  Tell them it’s urgent and we’ll meet them in the living room.”

We made our way to the living room with Riley dangling off Thor’s arm.

“I gotta say, I kinda love how you just turn into a jungle gym when you show up,”  I said as we walked.

“I like to ensure the children are happy.”  He said.

“They definitely miss you when you're not here.  They just get over-excited seeing you.”

He gave me a look that almost screamed at me about how bad he felt and how hard he was trying to balance this life with the one he had on Asgard.  I felt a pang of guilt for him and I rubbed the small of his back.

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t meant to guilt-trip you,” I said.

“I do miss them.  And all of you.”  He said.  “I try to be here.”

“I know you do.  You’re always here for the big things.”  I reassured him.  He nodded and frowned.  It was clear he didn’t think that was enough.  I couldn’t imagine having to be apart from the kids that long.  It was hard enough being away from any of the others when they were out on missions.  “I just meant they try and make the time count when you are here.”

He nodded again and Pietro patted his neck.  “Daddy, where’s Woki?”

“You know, honey, he said he’d love to come.  He’ll definitely be here next time.”  Thor said.

“Dat’s otay,” he said.  “I dwew a picture.”

“For Loki?”  Thor asked.

Pietro nodded.  “Is a picture of you and Woki and me and Wiley.”

“That’s wonderful.  Shall I take it with me when I go?”  Thor asked and took a seat on the couch.

“Yes, pwease, daddy.”  

“Okay, darling. I can do that for you,” Thor said.

“Fank you, daddy,” Pietro said as he moved up a little higher on Thor’s shoulders and Riley started clambering around on him.

The rest of the group all seemed to come in at once.  Most likely due to driving over in the same car.  “See I told you, it was Thor,” Sam said.  He and Bruce muscled me and Clint out from beside Thor, both of them curling into his side.  Thor chuckled and kissed them both.

“Why are you here, Solntse?”  Natasha asked as she took a seat.

“We had a little incident today,”  I said.

“El,”  Bruce whined and began to wring his hands.  “You can’t just say things like that and not continue.”

“Well, in this case, it might need a little demonstration,”  I said.

Bruce’s eyes flicked around the group, trying to work out what was going on.  “Can we get on with it?”

“Princess, do you think you can show everyone what you can do?”  Thor asked.  “Daddy is right here.”

She moved into the middle of the room, held her hands up and scrunched up her face in concentration.  Nothing happened and she made a frustrated little grumble sound.  Wanda moved and kneeled down on the floor in front of her.  “Hey, bug.  Think about flying and how much fun it is.”  Riley closed her eyes and scrunched up her face again.  “Can you picture it, bug?  When I fly you around the room?”  Riley nodded and opened and closed her hands.  A breeze picked up in the room and circled around her before petering out.

“Did she just…?”  Bucky asked.

“She sure did,”  I said.

“I maded da wind again, daddy,” Riley said, toddling back over to Thor and climbing up into his lap.

“You certainly did, princess.  I’m very proud of you.”  Thor said, giving her a kiss.

“Yeah, so there’s that, basically,”  I said.

“Okay…”  Bucky said slowly.

“She may need to spend time with us on Asgard.  We are used to dealing with this, and we can train her to control it.”  Thor said.

“Asgawd!”  Riley shouted, jumping up and down on Thor’s lap.

I looked over at Steve, feeling a great deal of trepidation.  The thought of sending my three-year-old daughter to another planet to help her train with some kind of magic was terrifying.

“Perhaps a day a week?”  Thor said, gently.  “Alternatively, we would have to install someone here to act as her tutor.”

“That’s not a good idea,”  Wanda said.  “You know how he gets.”

“Who won’t be happy?”  Steve asked.

“Installing ‘someone’,”  Wanda said, putting the emphasis on someone.

I sighed and rolled my eyes.  “Oh jeez.  Thor?  Loki isn’t even Asgardian.”

“Woki come to stay?”  Pietro asked.

“I’m not sure, little one,”  Thor said.

“So… One night a week she’s in Asgard or Loki moves in.  Those are the options?”  Sam asked.  Natasha took Clint’s hand and gave it a squeeze.

“What do you think, Steve?”  I asked.

“You’d get her for what?  Saturdays?”  Steve asked.

“Why Saturdays?”  Tony asked.

“Because they are going to need to start school,”  Steve answered.  “And that'd be weekdays. So the options are either Saturday or Sunday. But she'd need to be back in time Sunday night to get to sleep for school.”

“Yeah go Saturday, come back Sunday I guess,”  I said furrowing my brow.  “I mean... I guess divorced couples share custody.  Just... I dunno... is it weird that I'm thinking that if you take one you should take both?”

“I can take them both,”  Thor said and Pietro nuzzled into his neck.

“What would happen to Pietro while Riley is getting her special lessons?”  Steve asked.

“We'd get him his own training,”  Thor said.  “He can train with the Warriors Three.”

I shifted in my seat.  “They’re three, Thor.”

“There are none better to train them than the Warriors, my love,”  Thor assured me.

“I don’t… we don’t…”  I looked at the others.  “I just... it's a lot.  We need to make sure she can control her powers but ... we wanted to keep them out of that stuff.  I mean... didn't we?”

“Well, maybe we have to do this to keep them safe,”  Natasha said.

“What do the rest of you think?”  I asked.

“She needs training.  Piet could probably use some self-defense skills.”  Clint said.

I pulled my knees up against myself.  I couldn’t believe what was happening.  We had been keeping them so sheltered and so removed from the Avengers stuff and now we were talking about combat training them?  “They’re three!”

“Yes, but, honey,”  Clint said gently.  “They’re the Avengers’ kids.”

“Steve…”  I implored.

“I am not processing this.  At all.”  Steve said.

Pietro climbed down from on top of Thor and toddled over to me.  “It otay, mommy.”  He said patting my leg.  I lifted him into my lap and cuddled him.

“Riley has powers, Mishka.  She needs to learn how to use them.”  Natasha said.

“Yeah.  It’s one thing to teach her to keep her powers in check.  It’s a whole other thing to make a baby a weapon.”  I snapped.

“I’m a big girl, mommy.”  Riley corrected me.

“Not a weapon.”  Thor soothed.  “That was never my intention.”

“Well... I don't... I thought you'd just be helping her channel it.  I suggest Piet go too because then they can both spend time with you and you're just talking training him.”  I said.

“I don't want him to feel left out,”  Thor said.

“I just want them to have as normal a life as they can.  We can’t even agree on a preschool, but what?  You’re all totally cool with fight training toddlers?”

“No,”  Tony said.  “No.”  He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair.  “I don’t… I can’t…”

“What is it, Tony?”  Steve asked.

Tony opened and closed his mouth a few times and Pietro wiggled out of my lap and toddled over to him.  He took Tony’s hand and patted it.  “You otay, daddy?”  Tony picked him up and Pietro pressed his forehead against his father’s and patted his cheek.  Tony rubbed his back and took a deep breath.  “You otay.”  Pietro repeated softly, this time more as a statement than a question.

“I am now,”  Tony replied, just as softly.

“Tell us what you were thinking,”  I said gently.

“I want them to have the best schools, but I also don’t want them to have the same schooling I did.  They also need to be somewhere safe.  Nothing fits.”  Tony babbled.  “And now with this?”

“The school thing is hard because we do need to make sure it's a good one and a safe one.  But they do need to go.  We can't just keep them here and expect normal kids.  But... then how ... how can they be anyway?”  I said.

“We’ll keep them level,”  Natasha said firmly.

“How?  How will we do that when -”  I waved my hands around.

“We’ll figure it out, Elise,”  Natasha said.  “They’ll have their version of normal.  Maybe it will be different but they’re gonna know we love them and have their back.”

“So… so … we definitely need Riley to get control of her thing.  She can’t go to school if she’s going to accidentally take it out with a hurricane because she’s upset one day.”  I said.

"Yeah, she needs to learn. But is taking them away necessary?”  Tony asked.

“Well... so... What are people leaning to, Loki being here or her going away one a week?”  I asked.  Clint visibly shuddered while Riley started climbing Thor and chanting ‘Woki’ over and over.

“Where's he gonna live. Is he chained to the house? Who's in charge of him?" Tony asked.  “How do we know he'd do that?”

“Heimdall would watch over him. But more than likely there'd be another charged with watching him.”  Thor answered.

“That's a lot of people you'd be making live here,”  Sam said.

“Only two,”  Thor said.  “And it'd be a great honor for anyone to get that kind of order from their King.”

“Okay... so that's option one,”  I said running my hands through my hair.  “Option 2 is she goes to you.  What if... can it be less often? Once every two weeks?”

“I'd need her Friday night and would send her back Sunday afternoon then,”  Thor said.

“And -”  I let out a breath.  “What if I don't want them doing any combat training?”

“Okay, we can agree on something else,”  Thor said.

“And... can someone come to see what it's like... just... I mean I trust you with them, but I just want to see what they're doing.  Like how they let parents stay on the first day of preschool.”  I babbled.

“My loves, you are welcome to come to Asgard whenever you desire,”  Thor said.

“Okay.  That might help set my mind at ease.  I guess we need to weigh up the options.”  I said, letting out a breath.  “Which option would you rather have, Thor?”

“I would rather they come with me.  I would like that time with them.”  Thor said.

“It does seem fair that you get to have them sometimes,”  Steve said.  “You are their father too.”

“If the kids go. I'm going.”  Tony said, and Pietro patted his shoulder.

“You are more than welcome, Anthony,”  Thor said.

“Unless anyone is really opposed to it, I think that might be what we're doing then,”  Steve said.

“I want to train on Asgard,”  Wanda said.

“I'll see what can be arranged,”  Thor said.

Wanda grinned and clapped her hands.

My chest felt tight and I winced and rubbed it.

“You okay, doll?”  Bucky asked.

“Just... I mean I know that eventually, they'd be having camps and sleepovers and stuff but... Now it's a reality.”  I said.

“Alright, the other order of business was them starting preschool,”  Steve said.  “We need to choose one.”

“I was the one being difficult. And I'm going to not,”  Tony said.

“So, you’re happy for them to just go anywhere?”  Clint asked.

Tony nodded and I shook my head.  “But like… safety.  Celebrity chasers?  Nat?”  I said.

“So, we get them into one of the celebrity schools,”  Natasha said.  “The discreet ones.”

“Did you forget we live in the middle of nowhere, New York, Nat?”  Sam asked.

“Okay,”  Tony said.  “So we move.”

“Where would we move?  Didn’t we move for a reason?”  I asked.

“Yeah.  But now it’s not working.  So we find somewhere that does.  I still have the Tower.  We could go back.  This place could still be here.  Just do the paperwork and have our home there.”

“I thought you sold the Tower, Tony,”  Steve said.

“Oh yeah,”  Tony said smirking.  “Probably because I lied.”

“Tony,”  Steve sighed.

Tony chuckled.  “Sorry.  Kids, don’t do that.”

“So, back to the tower then?”  Bruce asked.

“Why not?  I can renovate.  Make it more like this.  A home for us.  Put a garden in off the party deck for the kids to play.  It’ll be great.”  Tony said.

Steve nodded.  “We can do that.”

“And we get a dog,”  I said, trying to slip in a request me, Bucky, Clint, and the kids had been making for a while now.

“Why the f- udge not?”  Tony said.

I looked at Clint with my jaw dropped.  “Clint!  Clint!  Did you just hear that?”

Clint’s head whipped between me and Tony and me again with his mouth hanging open.

“Quit doing that before you give yourself whiplash,” Natasha snarked.

“Puppy, daddy?”  Pietro asked quietly.

“Yeah, we can get one, Piet,” Tony replied.

Pietro wrapped his arms around Tony’s neck and burrowed his face into him.  “Fank you, daddy.”  He said as Riley started bouncing on Thor and a breeze picked up in the room.

“Oh, so that’s what makes me the favorite.”  Tony teased.

“So this is what we’re doing?  Asgard once every two weeks.  Tony will go with them and possibly some of the rest of us.  We are going to move back to the city so they can go to a good, safe school.  And Tony is redesigning the tower to make it work for us as we are now.  Also … Puppy.”  I said looking around the room.

“Puppy!”  Riley repeated, jumping up and down in Thor’s lap.

“I'm going the first time they go,” Steve said.  “Since this seems to be the lesser of all evils.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna go too.  I really want to go to Asgard.” I said.  “Plus, I want to see what they’re doing.”

“When will that be?”  Wanda asked.

“This weekend?”  Thor said.

Tony pulled out a tablet and started tapping around.  “Okay. So redesign done by tonight, get approval. Start construction tomorrow.  And then I'm okay for this weekend.”

“And Bucky and Clint, you wanna take the kiddos to a shelter?”  I asked.

“Oh, yes,”  Clint said sitting up straight.

“Yeah, we can take them this afternoon,”  Bucky said.

“Sounds like fun,”  I said.  “And I guess... I'll put in the paperwork for Dalton.”

“I can help with that,”  Natasha said.

“Alright.  We all know what we’re doing?”  Steve asked.  The group looked around and nodded slowly.  “Good.  We’ll see you back here for dinner.”

As everyone started getting up and people said their proper hellos to Thor I realized this was the start of another big life change for us.  I really had no idea how big it would be.

// NEXT

[saiilorstars]

The Girl in the Forest

Chapter 20: Behind the Barriers

// Story Masterlist // 

Fandom: The Originals

Pairings: Klaus Mikaelson x Original Female Character

Pronunciation of OC’s name: Ma-leh-nee

Requested tag: @queenmj10​

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

Chapter Summary: Finn makes his play against his siblings and leaves the ultimate punishment for Maleny: her biggest fear.

"It has been said that all love begins and ends with she who gave us life. A thousand years ago, my mother turned us into monsters, yet still she claimed to love her children, even as she vowed to destroy us. The noble Elijah, tormented by long-buried, shameful secrets. Kol, the wiley troublemaker, out for no one but himself. Finn, the devoted acolyte, his love all too easily walked by our mother's sick hate. Fierce Rebekah, willing to risk everything on the chance that she may one day find happiness. And me, the bastard child. My mother's greatest shame. Now, finally, we have defeated her, giving her the choice she never thought to give us, to live on as one of the monsters she created or suffer the slow, agonizing death she so deserves."

All in the meanwhile Klaus had been talking to Maleny, the blonde had been pouring some drinks into glasses, leaving him to give his common heartfelt speeches. She remembered it was one of his favorite things to do in the past, whether he wanted to admit it or not. After a win (although bittersweet) Maleny figured he deserved that much.

She turned around with a smirk, "You know, any other person would tell you you're an awful person for what you did to Esther…" she started walking back to him, the man leaning against the back of a couch, "...but she had it well deserved. So congrats," she held him his glass.

"That's all I get?" Klaus took his glass and gave her a sharp look, "Congrats?"

Maleny tilted her head, her smirk fading only slightly, "Oh? Like what? And I'd watch your answer because this," she pointed between them, "has only had 3 days so anything beyond a kiss is unlikely to happen."

"I was merely going to ask for a kiss but you apparently think so little of me," Klaus leaned off the couch and started for the threshold of the living room, when Maleny grabbed his arm, of course guilty now she'd judged him.

"Sorry, sorry," she apologetically smiled as he turned back to her, "I didn't mean to come off like that. Understand me a little, please. I'm not sure how to...deal with this thing for us - I don't want it to be different but of course it's going to be different and…" she was cut off by Klaus' sudden kiss.

"Do you know I'd actually forgotten how fun it was to watch you freak out?" Klaus asked afterwards, with his smirk letting Maleny see how he'd basically played her.

"You jerk," she hit his arm, and while he laughed she drank from her glass.

He snatched her by the waist, "Only the worst," he complemented himself, "But you already knew that..."

"Of course I do," Maleny feigned a sigh as she looked to the side, "I knew since we were kids you were a little mischievous devil. Buuuut..." she swayed her head until her eyes landed on his, "...I guess you were always my mischievous devil."

"Hey," Hayley cut into their moment with her call. They both turned to see the brunette hybrid coming into the living room, "So, has there been a plan devised?"

Confused, Maleny came forwards, "Hold on, I thought you were supposed to stay back with Elijah at the safe house…"

Hayley gave a wide grin and took Maleny's glass, "I did something better," she said and drank down the remainder of the bourbon.

"Hayley, this is no time for games," Klaus frowned and walked over to the woman as well.

"Calm down, it was nothing bad," Hayley dismissed his irritation, "So then, plan?"

"There isn't one yet," Maleny finally said, choosing to trust Hayley's decisions, "And the only one we did have Amarrah doesn't want to follow," she added with a huff. They'd tried to make Amarrah leave the Quarter for a while until things died down with Finn but the witch outright refused. She claimed there was no way she was going to let Finn Mikaelson get away with almost murder. She wanted payback, and payback she would get - she promised.

~ 0 ~

In the Lycee, Finn used a hammer to break a skull into pieces. Behind him was his father, Mikael, watching him create a spell.

"She tried to show them mercy," Finn was angrily saying in regards to his missing mother, "If they've harmed her…"

Mikael scoffed and interrupted him, "Esther's mistake was believing there was anything left in your siblings to save," he moved up to Finn, "Together, my son, we can finally destroy them."

Finn was no fool to believe Mikael was suddenly so willingly on their side, but he played along as if he did believe, " Yeah. I'm happy to hear you say this, Father. Such a powerful man. I could use your strength."

There was a clearing of throat by the entrance of the Lycee, and both men turned to see a young woman fidgeting on the spot, "The wolves...they're um, they're gathered at the cemetery," she jerked a thumb behind her shoulder, "At the gravestone you asked for..."

Finn's anger died down slightly at the news, "Excellent, tell them to dig it up. Now."

The woman was visibly confused and made the mistake of asking, "Why?"

"You don't ask 'why' to my orders, you follow them," Finn snapped, angering the woman but this time she kept her mouth shut, "Don't make me repeat myself, Yamilet, dig it up."

The woman, Yamilet, nodded, "And then what?" she preferred not to ask anymore questions but she didn't want to have to talk to him again later on.

"Take the body deep into the bayou," Finn instructed with a deep, annoyed sigh. This is what happened when Aiden resigned his leadership for the wolves of the witches. Finn had to go and name another leader instead and unfortunately that one seemed like an even bigger idiot. "The others know what to do, then," he motioned for Yamilet to leave and with a nod she turned away.

Finn then turned back to his ongoing spell and continued working on it, feeling far more confident in his future plans. Revenge would never taste so sweet.

~ o ~

Cami drove up to the Mikaelsons' safe house and looked around the solitary house (or so she thought). She checked the directions Hayley had given her earlier just to see if she'd made a mistake somewhere along the way. Why would Hayley send her to an abandoned house? Or worse, a stranger's house. She stepped out of the car and looked around, focusing in noises and scents she could get a read on.

Eventually, she got a read on two very familiar people and hurried for the front door. She would've came right in but she figured that would only cause tension. Instead, she opted for the polite knock.

A couple minutes passed and no one opened up. With a sigh, Cami turned away from the door and looked about, "I'm gonna kill Hayley for this," she muttered under her breath and made way for the car again. She was only a couple feet away from the car when she heard her name being called.

"Cami, what are you doing here?" Elijah had appeared at the doorway holding a sleepy Hope in arms.

Cami turned around and saw him, momentarily fazed by the baby she hadn't seen in quite a while. She shook her head and took a couple steps towards them, "Honestly, I have no idea," she sighed and let her arms fall to her sides, "Hayley came back to the compound early in the morning and said Klaus wanted me here for something. I just didn't know that 'something' was 'someone'. But don't worry, I'm on my way back right now," she turned for the car actually meaning her words when Elijah gave an unexpected call for her.

"You should come in," he said, surprising her momentarily, "I frankly have no idea what I'm doing…" he nodded to Hope who was slowly falling asleep on his shoulder.

Cami gave a half-smile, "Well, I'm no mother, but...I did learn a couple things from Rebekah. Are you sure you want me to stay? Because I know what you requested days ago - you didn't want me here. And know that I wouldn't have come if I knew this was the place Hayley was sending me to."

Elijah knew she was right and still felt guilty for what he'd done. However, he wasn't very repentent of it as he believed it would've been the right thing to do, "I could really use your help," he insisted again.

Cami gave in with a nod, "First thing's first, we have to put that baby to sleep…" and with that she returned to the house taking on the role of lead babysitter.

~ 0 ~

Maleny strode into Hayley's room where the hybrid and Jackson had been discussing their future mystical wedding. She had finished a rather interesting phone call with Cami and had to come and see Hayley to pay her remarks.

"You sent Cami to the safe house?" Maleny demanded with crossed arms and a tapping foot, "You savage!"

Hayley smirked and glanced at the blonde, "I told you it was good."

Maleny sighed, "She's gonna kill you for this, I hope you know," her eyes flickered over to Jackson and immediately composed herself, "So you're going to marry my friend here? I have to warn you, her moodswings are horrible. I mean, I thought they were just because she was pregnant but it turns out Hayley's just naturally moody."

"Uh…" Jackson nervously looked at Hayley.

"Hey!" Hayley hissed and made Maleny laugh, "They're not," she assured Jackson, "I don't even have mood swings."

"Liiiiies," Maleny sing-songed from her place, "But listen, while I did come in for Cami's sake, I'm the messenger of the people downstairs."

"People downstairs?" Jackson repeated and once again looked at Hayley.

"I may have done a thing," Hayley raised a finger and stood up from her chair.

"She does a lot of things, fair warning," Maleny said to Jackson as Hayley walked past her.

"Mal, shut up," Hayley called from outside, "And go get Klaus."

"The messenger job continues," Maleny swayed her head in annoyance and turned to leave. She rushed over to go find the other hybrid, eventually after coming short in two rooms finding him with Kol - who was now staying with them apparently.

"Of course you two are drinking," Maleny rolled her eyes at the two brothers happily drinking some sort of wine, "Kol, are you even old enough now?"

Kol rolled his eyes while Klaus snickered, "Gee, Mal, like I haven't heard that one before."

"Give me time, I can come up with something better, I promise," Maleny came futher into the room and looked at Klaus, "You should go downstairs - Hayley's brought in vampires and the wolves and I fear for war, honestly."

"What's she done that for?" Klaus frowned at the news. There were so many things to begin doing and Hayley was wasting time with community meetings?

"I don't know but even Marcel's downstairs," Maleny pointed back, "I think it's something big."

The bottle Kol held in his hand suddenly shattered and spilled the wine all over the floor. Everyone looked around for the source of the shatterer to see Finn at the doorway.

"Where is she?" the man demanded, getting straight to the point.

"Well that's a way to greet someone," Maleny made a face and moved back to the other siblings.

"My, my, you look peaky," smirked Klaus who then looked at his younger brother, "Doesn't he look peaky?"

Kol agreed with a sarcastic smile, "He does look peaky."

Maleny rolled her eyes and whacked each brother on the arms, "Enough of the sarcasm," she scolded only to receive scoffs from both of them, "Did I say something funny?" she glared at each of them.

Finn was in no mood to withstand such a spectacle, "Don't make me ask again," he warned, "Where is she?"

"Well, I assume you're referring to our mother. Fear not, she's tucked away somewhere perfectly safe," Klaus promised with a wide grin, "You'll never find her."

"You think you've won," Finn shook his head and opened his arms, "Let's see how long that arrogance lasts, brothers. You'll both fall," he promised and backtracked but not before adding, "And you," he looked to Maleny, "I have something good planned for you."

Maleny swallowed down a lump in her throat and tried to remain at ease of the threat. Finn looked so sure of his threat Maleny could almost believe in it. As Finn got to leaving, Klaus slid an arm around Maleny, resting his hand on her back, knowing she'd been left shaken. It had been his concern that Finn would take leverage against him or anyone else by using the weakest - Maleny.

~ 0 ~

Down in the courtyard, Hayley was still trying to find a common ground between her wolves and the vampires, "You wolves are here because you want freedom. And, I promise you, if you stay, you will be free. But…" she glanced over to Marcel and his vampires, "We need as much help as we can get."

"My vamps and I are willing to stand with you against the witches," Marcel assured, "In return, all I want is a promise that there will be peace between our sides after the wedding."

One of the wolves, Jared, spoke up in outrage, "You're the one who spent the last one hundred years killing and cursing us!"

"Which means you might wanna listen to what I have to say," Marcel snapped.

Finn was coming down the stairs around that time and of course had to interrupt, "I see you're brokering a truce between mongrels and parasites! And just how long do you think that's really going to last? A month? A week? A day?" he laughed, "What you don't yet seem to understand is that the only thing that can exist between your two degenerate species is hatred, war, and death," he backed away towards the exit.

He stopped just outside the border of the compound before rubbing his fingers together and cast a spell. As soon as he put his hand against the doorway of the entrance. When the building stopped shaking, Gia was the first to try to get him only to come crashing into an invisible barrier that started to burn her hands as if she wore no daylight ring.

Finn now wore a clean smirk across his lips, "But, I imagine, given a little time confined together, you'll come to see things the way I do," he gave a wicked wave before leaving the place.

~ 0 ~

Upstairs, Klaus tried to see if the barrier was active as well. He tried getting out through the balcony of his bedroom but felt his hand begin to burn much like Gia's had done earlier.

Kol came into the room full blown panicked, "Did he really just trap us all in here?"

"He certainly did," Klaus turned around, "Which means we have a witch problem. You're a witch. Fix it."

"I'm already calling in Amarrah," Maleny rushed into the room holding a phone in hand, just as panicked - if not more than Kol.

"And what the bloody hell are we supposed to do about this?" Kol turned to her.

Maleny lowered her phone and stalked up to him, "You don't get it, do you? If this barrier stays up for long you and I," she tapped him on the chest, "become a three course meal to those vampires downstairs," Kol's eyes widened in realization, and horror, "Get the picture now?"

"Okay, we're gonna need a lot of help," Kol glanced back to Klaus who was smiling in amusement at the teen's horror. Kol hurried out to give a call out to Davina.

"That was a bit harsh," Klaus walked up to Maleny afterwards.

"And yet, it's the truth," Maleny wasn't too happy herself about the situation, "I meant what I said. If we're stuck in here a long time you are going to be fine but I am going to become dinner for the others."

"Not on my watch, love."

"Let's remember you called me lunch and dinner during the first days we met here," Maleny pointed at him, "Don't think I'm forgetting that anytime soon."

"I meant that playfully," Klaus tried clear his throat and tried putting away his smirk.

He had not meant that playfully...and Maleny knew it.

~ 0 ~

Elijah was leaving what he believed to be the tenth voicemail to Rebekah, now Angela Baker of course, to no avail. It'd been three days since she'd been switched bodies but hadn't made any contact with anyone since. Frankly, he was getting worried and being practically imprisoned in the safe house was driving him mad.

He returned inside the house and followed noise into the kitchen where Cami was bringing down a bottle of bourbon from a shelf, "Yahtzee!" she exclaimed and glanced back with a smile, "Ah-ha-ha! If there's one thing I've learned about you people, it's that there's always a bottle of booze around. Don't worry, though, Hope is down for her nap. You want one?" she gestured as she brought down a glass for herself.

"Sounds delightful," Elijah couldn't help respond with a hint of restraint.

Cami sighed and place down her glass on the counter, "I know you're only tolerating me for Hope's sake but really if I'm bothering you that much I could always just go and compel someone to help you."

"I'm sorry," Elijah looked to the side, cursing himself for doing exactly what he'd wanted to avoid in the first place.

Cami turned around to face him completely, "Did I do something that bothered you?" she asked in plain confusion. She really did not understand why Elijah hadn't wanted her to come along with the others. She tried looking for anything she could've done to offend him or anyone else he cared for but found nothing.

"This is about me, Cami. I assure you, you haven't done anything," Elijah promised her but it wasn't enough for Cami.

"Then why do I feel like I have done something?" Cami crossed her arms, "Is this something of Esther's? What, she told you having vampire friends is also a bad thing?"

"You're not a friend," Elijah sharply corrected her, leaving her startled and frankly insulted for a minute before he continued, "You're family. I'm sorry if I've made you feel anything less."

"I don't want your apologies, I want an explanation," Cami quietly said to him and picked up her bourbon bottle and glass, "And until you can give me one, I'll be in the living room having myself a nice drink - alone."

"Cami," Elijah wearily sighed as the blonde woman hurried past him. He was seriously hating Hayley for ever thinking of doing this foul trick of hers.

~ 0 ~

Amarrah and Davina arrived to the compound at the same time after being called upon by their friends. They stopped just outside of the courtyard where they knew the barrier was active.

"Thank God you're here," Maleny hurried up to the barrier with Kol coming in seconds later.

Amarrah could see the heavy group of people inside the compound and made a face, "Yikes, would definitely not like to be in your shoes," she remarked and earned equal irritated looks from both Maleny and Kol.

"Which is why we'd like to hurry up and get out of here," Kol replied and looked to Davina, "You ready?"

Davina nodded with a smile and looked to Amarrah, "We're ready."

"Please get it right," Maleny stepped back only to be yanked forwards by Kol, "Hey!"

"No, no, love, we're gonna need all the witches on this one," he smirked at her.

Maleny looked at Amarrah who was agreeing with a nod of her head, "He's right. The more power we have the better chances we can get the barrier down."

With a sigh, Maleny stood straight and beside Kol, awaiting to start the spell with everyone else. They chanted together the spell they'd agreed on before coming together and while it seemed not to be failing, it eventually rebounded everyone away from the barrier.

"What just happened?" Maleny fearfully looked around as everyone slowly gathered back together.

Klaus and Marcel went over to check on the progress, "Are we free to go?" Klaus asked urgently.

"No," Kol shook his head, looking at his hands in confusion, "the spell's locking us out."

"Vincent must be channeling something," Amarrah reasoned with her experience, "A dark object, maybe."

Of course neither of them could ever think Finn's source of channeling was coming from his neutralized father somewhere in a crypt.

~ 0 ~

Elijah once more left a voicemail for Rebekah, deciding if after the next time he tried there was still no answer he would be calling Klaus to discuss the matters. When done he entered the living room where, as promised, Cami was having herself a nice drink while scrolling through her phone.

"Do you know you have awful WiFi connection here?" she sarcastically asked without looking up from the screen.

"Yes, which is why I thought you would prefer this?" Elijah waved a Trivial Pursuit box in hand.

Cami raised an eyebrow, "Your solution to this problem - that's your fault by the way - is for us to play...trivial games?"

"It's either that or suffer the WiFi connection," Elijah plopped down on the couch chair beside her and set the game on the coffee table, "Take your pick."

"What I'd pick is for you to come clean," Cami put her glass down on the table as well, "Is that not one of the options here?"

"I ask for time, Cami, please?" Elijah sighed, "I would hate to be stuck inside this house with no one to talk to. Please?"

Cami stared at him a good while trying to put her best angry face on. But as the seconds ticked by and he upheld her look with his soft, brown eyes, she gave in with a small sigh.

"Fine," she raised a hand, and looked away, "but you're no where near off the hook," she reached for the box and began opening it up, "So you should probably let me win," she added with a mumble, making Elijah smile of amusement.

~ 0 ~

"Okay, so maybe we can...put a stronger spell over the one already here?" Maleny was in the middle of saying to Amarrah, Davina and Kol as they all thought of ways to break down the barrier.

"That doesn't make any sense," Kol shot her down with a look of irritation.

"You know what, this isn't what I do anymore, okay?" Maleny snapped at him, used to the more calm reactions of the others in regards to low abilities in magic.

"Maybe she's not far off," Amarrah got to thinking while she paced back and forth, "We just need to come up with something more coherent."

"Great, while you do that, Mal and I will do our best not to get devoured over here," Kol huffed.

"There's still time before any of that happens," Davina tried to calm them down with logical views.

"Maybe there's something in my mother's spellbook," Maleny gasped with the idea, feeling stupid she hadn't thought of it before. She motioned she'd be back and hurried back into the courtyard, bumping into Josh who'd rather clumsily came down the stairs, "Sorry, Josh, I…"

Josh was doubled over in pain but at the fresh scent of blood he raised his head, revealing an almost vamped-out face.

"Josh…?" Maleny, though concerned, stepped back.

"All I can think about is blood!" the young vampire said in what really sounded like agonizing pain.

Maleny looked around for some help and caught a glimpse of Marcel and Gia in the dining room, "Josh, wait here," she said but the vampire was in too much pain to hear. She made way for the dining room and became alert on the fact Josh wasn't the only one who seemed to be in pain. As she walked by, she could feel the vampires' eyes setting on her as...lunch.

"Okay, we have a problem!" she burst into the dining room and slid shut the doors in terrible fear.

"What?" Marcel barely had time to turn to the blonde when Gia fell under the same situation.

"Oh!" she doubled over.

"Gia!" Marcel went over to his friend, missing the wide eyes of Maleny behind them. Soon enough, Marcel doubled over as well and felt the tremendous hunger growing within.

Slowly, Maleny leaned off the doors, her breath hitching, "I think…" of course Finn had something to do with this sudden hunger they were feeling. She quickly opened the doors of the room, "Klaus!" she called frantically.

She hadn't needed to call so loud as he was already making way for the dining room, already seeing the problem at hand, "What the hell is going on?" he demanded as he reached the dining room, "Your vampires seem to think it's lunch-time!" he accused Marcel.

"It'a Finn, it's got to be," Maleny turned him to the courtyard where they saw all the other vampires feeling the same hunger while the wolves were in complete peace, "Do you realize the massive buffet they have…" she slowly hugged herself, "...including me...and Kol."

Klaus wasted no time in getting her away from the courtyard and into his bedroom where he shut the doors, "You're no longer allowed out of this room, love."

"For once I've got nothing against that," Maleny mumbled as he went for his phone sitting on his nightstand, "What are you doing?" she inquired when he began making a call.

"Getting us out of here," he pointed at her for a silent period before speaking into the phone - to Finn.

"Klaus! Willing to concede so soon?" Finn's sarcastic tone exclaimed through the other line.

Klaus rolled his eyes, "I merely seek to negotiate. You want our mother, I want out of this bloody compound. The economics of what comes next should be easy to grasp, even for you."

"You can't give him Esther," Maleny hissed, moving to take his phone away but of course was easily handled with one arm grabbing down her two hands.

"What I want, brother, is to exterminate the plague that is your kind," Finn was busy saying over the line, "What I want is to watch the flames flicker over your smoldering corpse-"

Klaus rolled his eyes at the tedious speech he was being forced to listen to. Even Maleny had stayed put when she caught some of the words being said.

"-What I want is to hear the silence once you finally stop screaming."

In the end, his impatience won the better of himself. Klaus made a static-y noise with his mouth, "I'm sorry, we must have a bad connection. Could you repeat everything you said after "What I want?"

"Oh, I'm so happy to hear that hunger hasn't yet sapped your humor," Finn had a good laugh, 'But, I should warn you, brother, if those vampires even attempt to feed, they'll find themselves ravenous. Unable to stop. So, every moment that you waste with me will only lead you to the inevitable carnage."

"Don't you dare do it," Maleny whispered to Klaus, while locked with his arm still more than ready to put up a fight, "Don't give him E-"

"Esther for our freedom. Do we have a deal?"

"Well, I think I know better than to trust your honesty. But, yes, if I find our mother unharmed, then I might consider granting your reprieve," was Finn's response.

"Saint Roc Number 1. The Delphine tomb," Klaus finally said and promptly hung up, also releasing Maleny from his grip.

"Are you kidding me!?" she erupted into angry shouts, "After everything we went to to put that demon woman down you'll just hand her over!? What in the hell are you thinking!?"

"Your safety if you haven't noticed," Klaus was genuinely surprised he'd managed not to shout back at her, "I'd like to prevent your demise and if that's the way to do it then so be it. Besides, when Finn sees what Esther probably chose she's not going to be escaping any time soon."

Maleny calmed down slightly but still had pursed lips and crossed arms, "I still think this could've been handled differently," she murmured and headed out for the doors when Klaus yanked her back.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I needed to get my mother's spell book for the others to see if there's anything that can help. C'mon, even you know that's a good idea."

"Doesn't mean I like it," Klaus muttered but in the end opened the doors himself, "Let's go - but you're staying upstairs afterwards."

"If nothing works, believe me, I'll be up here out of my own accord," Maleny promised him with a nervous smile.

~ 0 ~

Cami was quite ready to throw the board game out the window with each loss she endured. She read off one card to Elijah, "What three European countries begin with the letter "A?""

"Albania, Austria, Andorra," Elijah replied almost instantly.

Frustrated, she flung the card over her shoulder and read off the next one, "Agh! Okay, hey! Who was the only U.S. president to earn a Ph.D?"

Once again, Elijah answered within seconds, "The rather tedious Woodrow Wilson."

"Oh, c'mon!" Cami went for the next card, "Who rode secretariat to the triple crown in 1973?"

"Ron Turket."

Cami let the rest of the cards fall from her hands as she glared at the man, "No! I refuse to believe that you just happened to know that! You were supposed to let me win because I'm mad at you!" with her pointing she accidentally spilled Elijah's drink on the table and partly on his sleeve, "I'm sorry!" she panicked and handed him a towel to get himself cleaned up while she took care of the table, "Sorry, I didn't mean to. I'm just kind of competitive sometimes and you just know literally everything there is to know which is kind of annoying and…" she trailed off when she noticed Elijah's furious scrubbing over his sleeve, "Elijah? Are you okay? Hey, Elijah," she reached out for his hand but instead was harshly grabbed her wrist. Momentarily alarmed, she remained still.

"I'm not as fragile as the others have said," Elijah quietly said and let go of Cami's wrist.

"I...I didn't think that," she nervously said, slowly taking her seat again. Feeling awkward, she coughed and tried going through more of the cards that hadn't been ruined with her accident. Thankfully, Elijah's phone went off to interrupt them.

"Rebekah," he barely got to say when the woman on the other line began to speak. Cami could hear everything perfectly and so when Elijah hung up, apologizing to Angelica Barker, the Angelica, she was just as distressed as Elijah.

"We need to call Klaus," she announced seconds later, "Because if Angelica is still herself Rebekah is...who knows where…"

Agreeing with her, Elijah began dialing again, this time for Klaus.

~ 0 ~

The vampires were getting restless in the courtyard, having to resist the urge to drink blood from the wolves.

"Things are getting testy out there. Come on, we better move this along," Marcel told Kol and Maleny inside the dining room. Maleny had brought down her mother's spell book for Kol to analyze.

"Okay, so Finn's boundary is too strong. But, we can cast a destruction spell," Kol pointed to an excerpt in the book, "It would temporarily neutralize all magical objects in the compound, including the compound itself. If it works, well, then it will give us sixty seconds to escape whilst the boundary is shut down."

"Alright, alright, that sounds good to me," Marcel nodded and urged them to get started fast.

"Um, there is just one little flaw," Maleny regretted to inform, "If the spell works, it will suppress all magical objects in the vicinity. That means your rings."

Marcel groaned as he realized what it meant, "And if we go outside in the sun without our rings, we're dead."

"Unless you wait for nightfall," Klaus offered but it did not do much.

"Agh," Marcel looked back into the courtyard where the vampires were, "They're also new. They're not going to be able to fight the hunger. We can't wait until nightfall. We're going to have a bloodbath on our hands before we even get close."

"Then we're going to have to start now," Maleny looked at Kol, "Can we do it?"

"Yes, but we'll need some things from the Lycee. I figured since Finn is out looking for Esther Davina and Amarrah shouldn't have a problem retrieving them."

"Good, so go tell them," Maleny nodded for him to go outside.

"What?" Kol frowned at the idea. He was barely calm with Marcel in the same room and she wanted him to cross a courtyard full of hungry wolves?

"I'm not going out there alone," Maleny crossed her arms, "You go. And hurry up," grumbling, Kol took the spell book and went out, making a dash across the courtyard to tell the other witches what the plan was.

~ 0 ~

After putting away the Trivial Pursuit game, Cami found Elijah once again staring blankly out the window in the living room. Though still crossed with him, she didn't stop worrying over his mental health. Esther had really done a number with him after all. If only she knew what he was seeing within his mind.

"Elijah?" she called quietly and walked him, "Elijah, are you okay?" she only heard the sharp intake of breath as a response, "Hey, I know you're worried about Rebekah…" she reached to touch his shoulder but he whirled and swatted her hand away. Cami gasped as his faced vamped-out against her as if she were the enemy, "Elijah…?" her tremulous voice called to him but he started going for her, " Elijah? Elijah, please. Calm down," but her calls did nothing as he backed her up against a wall. She shut her eyes in terror, "Elijah, please calm down!" she knew she could put up some kind of fight but the man was an Original in the end and far more skilled to fight. Perhaps one attempt of hers for a kick and he pulled her heart out as an instinct.

After a couple seconds of nothing happening, she opened one eye and saw Elijah was no where to be seen. She released the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and relaxed. She didn't know what to do next but in the end, Hope's cries upstairs called her attention. And needing it herself, Cami rushed to go attend to the infant instead.

~ 0 ~

The witches had gathered up their ingredients to begin the spell that would temporarily bring down the barrier for the wolves to escape from the compound. Behind them things were no better between vampires and werewolves. Fights were ensuing and blood was looming to be shed.

"We need to hurry," Maleny mumbled as she caught sight of even Cami's friend, Gia, getting into the fight. And though she was stopping a friend, she was looking more and more weary of the wolves.

"Okay, we're set," Amarrah announced and rose to her feet with Davina.

All four raised their hands in parallel to the others across the barrier. They began with the spell and seconds later a gust of wind came through and blew out candles they'd prepared. Kol was the first to try out the barrier, and upon seeing it was no more he called to the others, "It's time to go!"

Hayley had her wolves set for the escape and began urging them out, "Let's go! Now!"

Meanwhile, the vampires were glued to the dark corners of the compound, hiding out from the sunlight which would then burn them up.

"Remember, sixty seconds!" Maleny called for any last wolves still in the vicinity before she herself fleet to the other side.

Just as Kol was going to do the same, Klaus yanked him back to the courtyard. On falling down, Kol hit his head and earned a cut of blood.

"Slight change of plans, brother. I no longer have to treat you as anything but the treacherous liar that you truly are," Klaus blocked all ways for Kol to leave the compound.

"What are you doing?" Maleny frowned at this new brotherly antic she thought had just been formed.

"Rebekah is not in Angelica Barker's body because Kol didn't put her there," Klaus angrily explained while glaring at Kol, "Where is she?"

"Please! They'll kill him!" Davina pleaded, the sixty seconds almost up.

"Well, he should have thought about that before he betrayed our sister! Rebekah never made it to her new body, did she? And, seeing as you cast the spell and, well, you're you, I'd hardly call it an uncrackable case!"

"Are you kidding me?" Amarrah believed she would never understand what ran through the Mikaelsons' heads in regards to their siblings.

"Rebekah's fine, Nik!" Kol tried to assure, but his frustration and fear were getting the best of him, "It was a prank, nothing more than anything you lot have done to me, but I bet it's different when it's one of y... aah!" upon trying to cross the barrier he found it was back on.

"Oooh. Barrier's back up," Klaus smirked as the vampires started coming out of their dark corners, "And those vampires look oh-so hungry. Now, I was willing to welcome you back in my home! But you had to return to your petty, selfish jealousies! Well, let's see how well they help you survive when you're stuck in there!" he stormed off ready to go find Finn or Rebekah or whoever came first.

Davina was terrified as she saw the vampires getting closer to Kol, all overly hungry. Amarrah nudged Maleny from behind and whispered, "We can't really leave him there, he'll get killed."

Maleny deeply sighed, "Yeah, I know. C'mon, we need to go find Rebekah or another spell to get Kol out. Either way it's the only way to save his life."

~ 0 ~

Cami had set a restless Hope down in her playpen after a near hour of useless napping attempts. She'd placed a couple of her toys down for Hope as well then walked over to the empty crib to fix it up for when she hoped Hope would soon fall asleep later on. She was rather restless herself. Elijah was no where to be seen, Rebekah was apparently lost somewhere in a new body, Marcel and his vampires were still stuck at the compound going crazy with hunger and she was...babysitting. As much as she loved Hope she wished she could be actively helping in the Quarter.

Hope gurgled from her playpen and made Cami turn around, "Well…" the blonde considered out loud, "Stuck in a house with your innocent self isn't that bad either," she returned to the playpen and tickled Hope on the stomach, causing the baby to giggle, "Definitely not as bad," a couple more minutes passed by before she felt the presence of someone else in the house.

"I thought you left," Cami looked up from the playpen to see Elijah by the entrance.

"I owe you an apology," Elijah came forwards.

Cami shook her head, "I told you I don't need one-"

"Yes, you do," Elijah cut her off sharply, "My sister's missing, my family's in jeopardy, I am... uh, utterly powerless to help them. This is not a state of affairs I'm accustomed to."

"I can tell," Cami crossed her arms, "But, that's not what I needed and you know it."

"Yes, you'd like to know the reason of my sudden request," Elijah came up to the playpen, momentarily looking down to Hope who was more than interested in a teddy bear.

"I would," agreed Cami, "but I don't see it happening any moment. I get it. You're troubled and believe me I don't like seeing you like this."

"And I don't like seeing you scared of me," Elijah said back, leaving her startled.

"I...I w-wasn't-"

"Yes you were, and that is exactly the reason I didn't want you here."

It took a minute for Cami to understand everything but even then she wasn't very clear, "You're ridiculous, do you know that?"

"Am I?" Elijah did his best not to raise his voice for his niece, "It's no use to lie, Camille. I saw your face - you were terrified. And justly so. I didn't want you here because I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want you to see me like this. I am not the noble man you think I am - not the one anyone thinks I am."

Cami smiled a little, slowly understanding his reasons. She moved over to him and put her hands on his face, with thinking about it actually, "Hey, I like you because you're you. I'm not here for the noble stag title, I'm here because you're my friend and I want you to get better. I'm pretty sure everyone else thinks the same. And I get it, I get that you're dealing with things I have no idea about. But if you ever want to talk about it... It's kind of what I do, It can even be over a game of chess if you'd like. But fair warning, you will have to let me win that game or else…"

Elijah chuckled at her, taking her hands from his face and keeping them in his own, "I believe that sounds fair enough," Cami responded with her own laugh, hoping her blush wasn't too visible.

~ 0 ~

Amarrah and Davina were setting up runes of salt on St. Ann's church floor, right in front of the sacristy. The spell was meant to find the location of Finn for Klaus to finally get to.

"Do you guys get the feeling we're being watched?" Maleny came down the aisle from the entrance. She'd been looking out into the newest of festivals the Quarter was celebrating when she felt like there was someone watching her and preferred to go inside where it was a little more safe.

"I doubt it, Finn's too preoccupied blocking our spell," Amarrah huffed in annoyance as once again the spell failed.

"I must say, for a witch of your caliber, your spells are not particularly efficient," Klaus remarked to the French woman.

"Hey, I'm not used to going up against centuries old witches," Amarrah snapped, "We're doing our best."

"But it would help a lot if you would stop standing over us like a stalker," Davina added with a frown.

Maleny sighed and cut into the conversation, "Can we not do the fighting thing? It's a waste of time when we're all reaching for the same goal."

"Really?" Davina scoffed, "Because my goal is to get Kol out of the compound alive. Which seems to be about number ten on his list," she threw a glare towards Klaus who took it in with amusement.

"Number nine, at least!"

Maleny elbowed him for his childish remark, "Be quiet. She's not wrong - what you did with Kol was out of the question. But what he did to Rebekah was also out of the question. So, in other words, both of you," she pointed between the teen and the hybrid, "be quiet and get to work."

"Agreed," Amarrah held a hand for Davina, "Let's start."

Begrudgingly, Davina took the woman's hand and began chanting a spell together. As they chanted however, they began seeing visions of Finn doing his own spell.

"We saw glimpses of him," Amarrah gasped and looked at the others, "He's combining sacred objects. Totems. Representational magic."

"Where?" Klaus asked urgently.

The two witches returned to their spell in hopes of seeing more visions. Davina came to first and replied, "Lafayette No. 1. The Lyonne tomb."

"What exactly is he using for this spell?" Maleny dreaded to ask.

"He's channeling your parents!" Amarrah gasped in horror, "You people are sick."

Klaus hadn't taken it that way with his wide smile, "And here I thought I was the poster-child for least grateful offspring!"

"No time to be cocky," Maleny pointed at him, "With that kind of power under Finn's arm we're going to have some problems - bigger ones than the ones we already have."

"Then we need to get going," Klaus turned back for the entrance doors, but after taking a couple steps he abruptly froze.

"What is it now?" Davina rolled her eyes, unable to see his expressions from behind.

"Klaus…?" Maleny slowly said and turned to him just as he dropped to the floor, unconscious, "Oh my God! Davina!"

"Hey!" the teen scowled at the insinuation, "It wasn't me!"

Maleny frantically got to her knees and tried waking him up herself, "C'mon, wake up! Wake up, dammit!"

"This wasn't his choice, Mal," Amarrah forced the blonde to her feet.

"What are you talking about about?" Maleny shook her off.

"This has to be what Finn was doing with his spell, remember?"

Maleny blinked as it dawned her it was true. Just then her cellphone buzzed in her pocket and upon pulling it out she saw it was Cami, "Cami, I love you, but I don't have time-"

"Elijah collapsed and he's not waking up!" Cami exclaimed abruptly, "One moment we were talking and the next - bam! What do I do?"

"Elijah too? It's one of Finn's tricks, I'm afraid," Maleny ran a hand through her hair, "Listen, just...don't leave the house," and with that she hung up.

"So you have a plan?" Davina asked in high hopes. She realized if this was the case with all the brothers then Kol was left in the compound on his own with a bunch of hungry vampires.

"Hm?" Maleny blinked, "Oh I don't have a plan. I was kinda hoping the Harvest girl and the powerful French witch would have one," the three women looked at each other, completely lose on their next move.

~ 0 ~

Finn had built an elaborate form of prison for his brothers through the mind and was taking full advantage of it to get the information he needed. He did, however, release Kol simply to allow him to tell Marcel and his vampires what would happen at sundown - the barrier would come down and with the ravenous vampires being released into the festival blood would ensue.

"So," he proudly sat on a chair across Klaus and Elijah, "what shall we talk about while we wait for nightfall? Oh! I know! Let's talk about our parents."

Klaus rolled his eyes, "You know, I figured you wouldn't be kind to Mother, but imagine my surprise to learn that Mikael met the same fate! Bravo, brother."

"You see, the parent I was interested in talking about was your father. Your real one? I mean, you longed to know him your whole life, yet at the first opportunity, you murdered him! Why, I wonder?"

"Possibly the same reason you took out Esther. Severing parental ties has a way of freeing one up to recognize one's true potential."

"Quite," Finn agreed, "But, Esther was no fool. She pinpointed your wants, and knowing your true father was at the top of the list! No, something else occupies the top of your list of affections. And it's not your favorite city because I'm about to take that from you, using your own vampires, and I barely get a rise out of you! I thought maybe it was Rebekah, but you remain calm, even when the one who knows her fate probably just met his.

Elijah was making a round in the cabin pretending to be more interested in the decorations, "I am fighting the monumental urge to mount your severed head upon one of these walls…

Finn promptly ignored him and continued on, "I then thought it was your favorite brother, but Mother broke him into a thousand pieces, and rather than fix him, you left him to fend for himself God knows where. And Kol...well, he's not much of your devotion right now, right?" Finn shook his head but momentarily paused, smirking in that devious way the two brothers knew he had something else up his sleeve, "That really only leaves Kol and...Maleny?"

Klaus stalked over to the man on the chair, "She has nothing to do with this! Leave her alone!"

Finn sucked air between his teeth, "It's a bit late for that. See, my wolves are already acting on it."

"LEAVE HER!" Klaus momentarily forgot he couldn't even touch Finn and tried to grasp him from the neck.

Finn produced an aneurysm that forced Klaus to his knees, "I said she'd pay for this as well. That's the thing about her, she's almost a Mikaelson and with all the pain that comes with it. It's only a matter of time."

~ 0 ~

"Wake up!" it was now Davina who was trying to wake Klaus up...only her attempts consisted of hard slaps across the face, "C'mon! Wake up!"

Over at the altar sat Amarrah and Maleny on the small steps, both staring at the teen in resignation. There was nothing to do but wait for Finn to bring down the spell. However, as time ticked by and Kol's body remained at the compound - as the teen hadn't known that Kol had been returned - she grew more and more frustrated.

"Wake up!"

"Aren't you going to stop her?" Amarrah took her gaze off Davina to look at Maleny beside her.

Maleny had her chin resting on her palm and looked far too calm for someone whose practically boyfriend was being slapped by a teenage witch. The blonde hummed, "I figure this is a way for her to release anger. This way she wins, I don't lose either of them, and Klaus won't ever know about it."

Suddenly, the doors of the church opened with a blast and in came a swarm of Finn's wolves. Davina jumped to her feet at the same time Maleny and Amarrah got up.

"Maleny Rowan, we came to collect you," a middle aged woman, unlike the others a witch, stepped forwards.

"Good, no thank you," Maleny shook her head, "You can go now."

The woman rolled her eyes and glanced back to the wolves, "Well, you know what to do."

"Stay back!" Davina had pulled aneurysms on the looming wolves. Amarrah tried flinging others back but there was simply too many. Maleny quickly saw it would be tough to escape.

"Ah!" Amarrah gasped as she was yanked by one of the wolves.

"Amarrah!" Maleny tried going for her but then she heard Davina's gasp as well and turned to see the teen being held by another wolf.

The middle-aged witch stepped forwards once more, this time wearing a smirk as she probably knew what would happen, "Let's try this again, shall we? Maleny Rowan, we came to collect you. Will you go easily or will we have to tear the hearts out from your two lovely friends?"

"Don't go with them, Mal," Davina struggled to get free from her captive.

Maleny ran her hands through her hair as she questioned her best option. It was quite obvious and even she knew what she would have to decide for. With a shaky breath she stepped forwards, motioning she was coming in peace, "I go and you leave them alone?"

The witch gave a nod, "Of course. We've no interest in silly witches and certainly in an unconscious hybrid."

"Maleny, what are you doing!?" Amarrah angrily stopped fighting to glare at her friend.

"It's okay," Maleny assured, "When Klaus wakes up you'll tell him...and he'll know what to do," she lowered her hands and walked towards the group, "I'll go willingly."

The witch looked at the two wolves holding Amarrah and Davina captive, "Hold them until we're out of the building," she instructed and grabbed Maleny by the arm, "And know if you try anything we'll kill your friends on the spot."

"I won't," Maleny gritted her teeth and was pushed out for the doors.

Behind them Davina and Amarrah could only watch as Maleny willingly walked out with the wolves. They all correctly assumed she would come to rue the moment she walked out of the church.

~ 0 ~

"You should realize the trouble you're getting yourself into by doing this," Maleny warned in vain as she was pushed towards a car, now bound by the wrists.

The witch that had taken her, now identified as Ela, snapped her fingers for one of the wolves. She was handed some gray duct tape.

Maleny frowned at what was coming, "Seriously?" she momentarily stopped walking to turn to her but was pushed into a walk by a wolf behind, "You already have my voluntary kidnapping."

"Precautions," Ela plainly said and stopped by the car, opening up the door to the backseat. She pulled on the tape and cut it with her teeth, "Wouldn't want you shouting out to people you're kidnapped. Especially when there's a silly festival going on."

"You get that thing away from me," Maleny backtracked and hit a wolf behind, "No!"

Ela stepped forwards as the wolf behind Maleny grabbed her arms and kept her locked for Ela to place the tape over Maleny's mouth. Maleny now openly struggled against the two and went as far as putting her feet up on the side of the car so as to not be forced inside. In the end however, the wolves overpowered her easily and stuffed her inside. Ela rolled her eyes at the fiasco and got in after the blonde.

"Hurry up," she told the driver, another of the wolves, "Yamilet holds the corpse deep in the bayou."

"Yes," the driver nodded and started the car.

"And I wouldn't think about plotting an escape from the bayou," Ela warned Maleny with a smirk, "Finn has made sure it's very deep. It'll take you at least two days to get to the roadside," Maleny visibly swallowed hard and of course remained still. Content, Ela looked ahead as the car was finally driving off.

Maleny thought about the chances of her making an escape on her own. But there were wolves involved with their supernatural strength and she didn't feel like being mauled to the point of losing a limb. With no options, she had to sit there and let time pass as they headed to God knows where. The moon was up high and bright when the car finally came to a stop, and Maleny felt even more nervous when she realized they were actually very deep in the bayou - as Ela promised.

"Where the hell are we?" she whispered her demand as soon as Ela yanked the tape off her.

Ela got out the car and Maleny was escorted out on her side. The two wolves held her tightly around the arms and faced her in the direction of a cabin.

There was a young man standing by the threshold of the cabin, apparently waiting for them. Ela walked up to him, her eyes making a clear observation of the quietness in the area.

"Is it done?" she asked.

"Yes, just like Vincent, ordered," a young man replied. "She's down."

Ela looked back as Maleny was brought forwards. The blonde was nervously looking around, "What are we doing here? I don't get it..."

The smirk that broke across Ela's lips made Maleny fear there was a horrible punishment on the other side of the cabin door. With a motion of her fingers, the wolves half-dragged Maleny towards the cabin.

"We should get started, then," Ela declared as she entered first.

As soon as Maleny was brought in - and forced to her feet - she could see on a metal table her previous corpse, in perfect condition. Immediately she started shaking her head and trying to back away in horror as she assumed what was going to happen. She whimpered and threw her feet up in attempts to make it harder for the wolves to drag her closer.

"NO! NO! Please don't! Anything but this! PLEASE!"

Ela was clearly satisfied by the reaction and gave a small chuckle, "This is exactly what Finn said he hoped to hear from you."

"Please! Don't make go back to that!" Maleny was near to tears as the wolves forced her onto the table beside the one with her corpse, "I'm begging you! Not the curse! Not the curse!"

"Benson," Ela called and the young man that received them walked over, "Bring her in," she ordered.

With a nod of his head, Benson went into another room of the cabin. In the meantime, Ela walked up to the table Maleny was on and smirked.

"Are you ready little witch?"

Maleny was busy screaming her head off and budging against the ropes binding her to the table, "NO! NO! STOP! NOT THIS! I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK!" The tears fell like rain pouring from the sky. Maleny knew that this time Klaus would not be coming to save her - no one was.

Finn would have his way; he would make her pay in the worst way possible.

[skvaderarts]

Apocrypha Chapter Twenty Four: Discretion

Masterlist can be found Here! Thanks!

Chapter Twenty Four: Discretion

Notes: I��ve just gotta say, I LOVE the comments that I got on the last chapter! Jokes on YOU, I’m crying too! I just use humor to mask my pain like Dante because it’s my only coping method! I’m worried about V, too and I wrote this shit! *Cry laughing*. Oh I’m so sorry, V. Please forgive me!

(-~-)

The coming storm built up momentum as it coated the forest below in a heavy layer of fog and rain. The air cooled down considerably as the minutes ticked by, night settling in earnest across the region and somehow making it even more difficult to see. As he neared the edge of the clearing to make a timely rondevu with the rest of the team, Griffon couldn’t help but shake his head at the insanity unfolding before him. If he strained the reaches of his subconscious, he could swear that he could still hear Nero and Vergil protesting V’s proposal, the plan seemingly unfathomable to them. 

While the concept was sound, the actual execution of the plan depended upon variables that none of them could control. While Nero was a bit more flexible in terms of ideas presented to him, Vergil couldn’t claim anything of the sort. Minimizing dependence on outside factors was quite literally a way of life for him, and the idea that the lives of either of his sons could fall into that category practically made his blood boil. But V’s counter-argument had been difficult to turn down, especially with the prospect of being rid of the cult forever on the table. It all came down to Vergil’s willingness to tolerate a plan that he despised, but he agreed to do so against his better judgement. At the end of the day, this was the best overall method of thinning out the ranks and being free of this threat for the foreseeable future.

At least Vergil still got to cut down his enemies…

Griffon landed with a firm thud, shaking rain droplets off of the tree as he came to a stop before the rest of the group. Being the only one who was experienced with a weapon who they could afford to spare, Nico had volunteered to get everyone out of town and onto the train. She had her own undisclosed plans as to how she intended to accomplish this that she wasn’t disclosing, but that was her primary objective overall. The last two days had been a refreshing change of pace, but there was no way in hell they were staying in town with the potential things had for going catastrophically wrong. While the young mechanic doubted that the city would end up under a pile of ash and rubble like Redgrave City had, she still thought that it was a good idea to round up Patty, Kyrie, and the children and skip town. And it was an idea that the rest of the team wholeheartedly supported. Having bystanders in the line of fire was never a good policy, especially when those bystanders were family.

They were in unfamiliar territory, and fixing that as quickly as possible was a solid idea. As soon as Lady and Trish had returned from escorting Patty and Nico to the relative safety of the hotel, they would return to help back up the rest of the team. But for the moment, Griffon had the stage, and his audience was what remained of Sparda’s descendants. Well, at least those of them that were present.

“Oh boy, I don’t like anything about this plan.” The vibrant blue bird said as he shook his head, totally unsure as to how the situation he currently found himself in was going to pan out,” I got out of there just in time. That cult made off with V right after I left. I heard them say something about taking him back to their base. It has to be that cave, right?”

Dante shrugged, totally unsure as to what was going on. All he knew was that Nero had bolted back into the clearing at top speed with Vergil behind him and that his older twin looked less than pleased about whatever had happened back there. He’d stepped away for a moment to figure out where they had disappeared to, casually mentioning that he was going to figure out where they’d gone. But when Nero had returned with more than a few cuts and bruises, and V hadn’t returned at all, Dante knew that something was terribly wrong. 

Vergil was clearly on edge, despite the fact that he was doing an excellent job of hiding it from everyone around him. Well, everyone but Dante. The younger of the two knew his older twin’s mannerisms far too well for that to sway him. But at the same time, he couldn’t help but agree with the wiley bird’s assessment of the situation they currently found themselves in. The youngest Son of Sparda had precisely no idea what had happened back there and the same amount of input in the plan, but he knew that he was a part of it and he’d take the opportunity to rip Vergil a new one about it after V was safe. 

As much as he’d like to tell his frigid twin off for not explaining things to him, a part of him was actually happy that he knew he could depend on him to help him, even without asking him first. Even if Dante would have preferred that they discuss things beforehand, he was relieved to know that Vergil finally trusted him to some measurable degree. He’d been on the fence about it for a long time.

“So what’s the plan then?” Dante asked, looking over his twin pistols idly. He wasn’t so much checking their condition as he was trying to find something to do to occupy his wandering mind.” I mean, there is a plan, right?”

Griffon shrugged, flapping his wings. He was honestly just as lost as Dante was. “Your guess is as good as mine. V didn’t explain the fine details to me. He just sort of does things sometimes and I just go along with them. All he had to say was that “everything was going according to plan”. Cryptic little brat.”

Both Dante and Nero were willing to agree with that statement. Sometimes V really did do things that made them consider that fact that he might be slightly unhinged. Vergil folded his arms, clearly unamused with the entire situation. Did they really have time for pleasantries and small talk considering the situation?

“I assume he sent you to lead us back?” Vergil said as he stepped towards the edge of the woods. He didn’t strictly need the rest of them to come with him. He’d found the cave once, and he’d find it again. He had to.” That part of the forest is thick with dark magic and, as such, is incredibly difficult to navigate. Having an aerial view would be advantageous.”

Griffon nodded and took off towards the sky, double checking the trajectory they needed to follow. Vergil addressing him wasn’t something he was used to, and he got the distinct impression that Vergil was only doing so to further his own goals. Luckily for both of them, they were on the same wavelength in that regard. Everyone present wanted nothing more than to help facilitate V’s safe return and take down the cult that had seemingly developed an unhealthy fascination with him since his return from the underworld. If Griffon could help in some way, then they were glad for it. But how long could the blue bird stay away from his master?

“Well, let’s get out of here then. We can talk on the way, right?” Nero said as he followed after Vergil. “Wasting time here talking when we don’t know what they have planned isn’t going to get us anywhere or help V.” 

Dante returned his guns to the holsters and nodded in conformation. Nero made a good point. Their limbs and mouths worked in tandem. Why not use them that way? V was skilled at adjusting to difficult situations, but if the cult had magic and demons at their disposal, who knew what they could be capable of. The longer they spoke, the more Dante got the feeling that he understood the premise of the plan. And the less he liked some of the finer details of it. Giving the cult exactly what they were looking for was a good way to gain access to their domain, but to what end? How did that benefit them? After all, there was no way that Vergil and Nero would've accidentally left him behind. As he entered the forest behind them, Dante took one last look at the peaceful clearing behind them. He had to agree with Griffon. This particular mission had “bad news” written all over it.

(-~-)

Panic worry and calm vigilance melded into one tense atmosphere as everyone packed their bags in a blind rush in anticipation for the trip home. While they were shaving off almost an entire day from their trip, no one had the time to worry themselves with such trivial concerts and they rolled their belongings into messy tubes and tossed them into their suitcases. They could do this again somewhere else at a later date, but they had to live that long first. 

Lady and Trish watched the door to the room with a level of professionalism born of the kind of experience that came with a lifetime of fighting the denizens of the underworld. Under no circumstances were they going to let anything harm their companions, human or otherwise. While it was true that they didn’t tangle with humans very often and normally stuck to the more overtly demonic cases, they had been forced to take up arms against less demonic foes in the past. The only thing worse than fighting a crafty demon was fighting one that was backed by an intelligent human.

Hopefully this subsect of the cult wasn’t very smart.

“Look, Love, all you need to do is make it to the train station and head back to town. I’ll be there to back you up as soon as you arrive.” Magnolia said firmly from the other end of the phone. There was no questioning the honesty and seriousness from which her statement had been spawned.” I protect my own, and those cultists are going to rue the day they threatened you sweet girls. Stay safe until then!”

Nico nodded in agreement, not considering the fact that the older woman couldn’t see her from this end of the phone. She still had Magnolia’s number in her pocket from the card she’d given Nero before they had departed back to Fortuna with V. The young mechanic wasn’t entirely sure if she was stepping out of line by asking for help, and she didn’t care. Anything that kept the people she cares about safe was a win in her book, and she trusted Magnolia. All she could hope for was that they would arrive back in town safely and that the botanist didn’t have to reopen any existing injuries to save them. Nico didn’t know if she could live with any untimely deaths on her conscience, especially when it was someone who had shown her nothing but kindness. That, and Magnolia was basically Vergil’s only friend. Getting her killed was bound to have negative consequences.

“Don’t work about it, Magnolia. We're gonna leave here as soon as I get off the phone with ya. The train ride is only a couple of hours. Seeya then!” Nico said, trying her best to sound confident and sure of herself. She wasn’t lying, but she did have her reservations. She could practically feel Magnolia’s concerned smile through the phone as she wished her a safe trip and hung up, leaving Nico holding the receiver with nothing but the sound of the dial tone to keep her company. All she could do now was hope for the best and do what she could to help everyone get out of there safe. The gunsmith sighed and turned to the rest of the group, pleased to find that they were all packed and ready to head out. All she could do now was hope that the cultists didn’t know who they were.

“Is everyone ready to go?” Trish asked, giving the room a once over. Lady unfolded her arms and reached down to grab her luggage bag. She shared a similar sentiment. The trip had been fun, but she was ready to get the hell out of there and back to a more familiar place. At least she would have an advantage to use against her opponents back in Dante’s stomping grounds.

Everyone nodded or vocalized in agreement, trying their best to hide their uncertainty. The children were too little to comprehend the danger they were in, and to a certain degree, they were glad for that. The last thing anyone wanted was for the children to have another thing to keep them up at night.

“Yea, were good. Let’s get outta here! The train is gonna be here in like twenty minutes!” Nico said as she helped grab the bags and herd the children towards the door. Someone was going to have to pick Carlo up to keep him from lagging behind or wandering off in the commotion. She just hoped it would be someone else. She didn’t have a hand to spare.

“Okay then! You head down towards the lobby. Trish will lead the way and I’ll cover your backs. Let’s get out of here before they find us.” Lady stood out of the way and allowed Trish to leave the room, followed closely by Kyrie, Patty, Nico, and the children. Moving with a group this large was going to be a challenge.” Paying repair fees to the hotel is not going to be the thing that finally sends me into bankruptcy. Let’s get out of here in one piece, okay?”

As soon as the room was empty, Lady closed the door behind them and bolted after the rest of the group. The only straightforward path in the entire place was the route down to the lobby. If they could make it down there and out of the building, all they had to do was go a handful of blocks up the street. Then they were home free. And she was going to make sure they got there in one piece. She’d never be able to face Nero again if something happened to Kyrie or the kids, and Dante would literally go to hell and back for Patty. She couldn’t let her family down.

(-~-)

“Why are there always so many people willing to jump at the opportunity to join some sort of sinister death cult?!” Nero said as he kicked one of the cultists in the chest, knocking them off the side of the cliff they were facing towards. They wouldn’t need to worry about that guy anymore. “Like, where do all these idiots keep coming from?! Is there a super villain lackey shop or something?!”

“Because it is the nature of humans to seek power beyond their current threshold, and they latch onto those that promise to deliver that to them.” Vergil said as he came to a stop, sheathing Yamato. Half a dozen cultists that he had taken off guard toppled over in a very upsetting way, clearly no longer a factor in the current battle. “All one must do to gain the trust of another is promise them something they do not currently possess that they seek to acquire, and many will see that as enough justification to commit unspeakable atrocities.”

Nero raised an eyebrow, giving Vergil a sideways look before turning to face Dante. “Care to translate, Dante? Your brother is speaking another language again!” 

The youngest Son of Sparda had just finished off his opponent’s summon and was pursuing them. The hooded man was spouting some indecipherable nonsense about something he didn’t care to understand and throwing everything between them at the red coat wearing devil hunter in an attempt to slow his approach. In a way, Dante pitied them. They seemed to be clearly out of their minds, the presence of so much demonic power and the toll of summoning so many demons with so little training had clearly robbed them of their humanity and their sentience. All that was left of them were the shells of what had once been people. But now they were twisted beyond recognition. Despite the fact that they were human, they were more akin to a demon than any pure blooded human should be. He’s seen powerful pure blood demons that could easily pass as more human than these poor husks pretending to be living beings. No. They were like worker ants, more akin to the Empusa than anything from the human world that wasn’t an insect ought to be. And he needed to find out who the leader of the hive was and give them a heavy dose of insect repellent.

Whoever was in charge of this cult needed to be stopped before any more lives were ruined.

“You think I know? I wasn’t really listening! Nothing Vergils says makes sense to me.” Dante said as he closed in on the cultist and finished him off quickly. No need to drag things out. His life had clearly been filled with enough suffering. No need to rub salt in his wounds.” Something about how it’s easy to deceive despirate people into doing stupid things for you, if I was going to make an educated guess. Why don’t you ask him?”

Vergil finished off the last of the demons, grabbing one of the cultists around the collar and slamming him into a nearby tree with enough force to shatter both him and the sturdy oak in two. They groaned and shook their head, clearly dazed.

“You're going to tell me where the rest of your ilk took him, or things will not end well for you.” Vergil said sternly, making eye contact with the young man in the hood.” My companions are patent. I am much less so. Do not test me.”

The younger man stared at him, clearly intimidated. “ B-but Agreus will kill me if he finds out I said anything! I can’t!”

”Yes, I’m quite sure he will. That is not my problem. You should’ve put more care into who you trusted in the first place.” Vergil gave him a sideways glance, allowing a hint of his demonic power to manifest in the form of his eyes flashing an eerie red for a moment.” But I am here now, and while he might kill you, I assure you that if any harm should come to my son, you will wish that was all I did. There are worse fates. Trust me.”

A visible look of horrified shock crossed the cultist as his blood ran ice cold. It was evident to anyone that could see him that he took Vergil’s threat to heart. With a sigh, he raised a shaky hand and pointed in the direction of the cave, barely hiding his worry. In that moment, he was more afraid of Vergil than he had been of anything in his entire short life. Not only was he sure that the Darkslayer could kill him, he knew that he wouldn’t hesitate to do so.

“Follow that p-path towards the interior of the cave. The part you can see here is only the mouth of a greater cavern that stretches several miles under the forest. At the end of the left fork is the cave you're looking for. You can’t miss it! They took him that way, I swear! Something about Master Agreus wanting to understand “what the dark lord saw in him”. I don’t think they plan to kill him, though. No. Master Agreus might be our leader, but he answers to a much higher power. A terrifying power. And that power is what is after that kid. We just do what they tell us to. I’m sorry, I didn’t know they would do something like this. I didn’t sign up to kidnap people! None of us did.”

Vergil yanked the younger man away from the tree and forced him in the direction of the woods before releasing him with a forceful shove. The younger man glanced at him for a moment, wrapped in confusion as the Darkslayer allowed Yamato’s blade to peak out of its scabbard. “Leave before I come to my senses.”

“Your… not going to kill me?” The older teen asked, clearly shocked by his decision. If he had been in Vergil’s place, he wasn’t sure what he would’ve done to the man who had helped kidnap his child.” What if I’m lying.”

“Then you're a fool and you should spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder for me. Now go before I bathe my blade in your blood and leave your corpse here for the wolves.” Vergil said, far beyond the limit of his patience. Was this foolish boy actually going to stand there and look a gift horse in the mouth? Humans were truly something else…

“T-thank you! I hope you find him.” The young man said as he took off running in the direction of the forest. Vergil doubted his ability to navigate in the vast darkness, but he’d made his way out there so there was no way of knowing. Regardless, he was no longer the eldest Son of Sparda’s problem. As the young man disappeared into the darkness, Vergil turned in the direction of the cave and his two companions, both of which seemed genuinely surprised at his decision. Vergil half groaned and passed them, heading into the cave. Dante and Nero shared a glance at one another before following him.

“So Vergil, why didn’t you…” Dante started, unsure of how to approach the topic in a way that wouldn’t reignite his twin’s barely contained blood lust. It seemed that his older brother possessed more restraint than he gave him credit for.

Vergil stopped for a moment, glancing over his shoulder at Nero. While his response was a result of Dante’s inquiry, his response was meant more for his youngest son than his twin brother. “... I don’t kill children, Dante. I see no need to elaborate further.”

With that, Vergil continued towards their objective. It had been entirely too long since they had heard from Griffon, and Vergil was admittedly concerned for what that might mean for his oldest child. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, and as such, Vergil loathed the fact that he had agreed to go along with this foolish plan. But he felt the need to allow Nero and V to prove that they were as capable as he believed them to be. After all, they were descendants of Sparda and they had worked together to bring him down in Redgrave City. Not just anyone was capable of doing something like that.

He just hoped they would all survive long enough to regret what they had done.

(-~-)

Oh, the last two three chapters have been a blast to write! This is the kind of melodramatic shit I live for! Thank you so much for reading this chapter and have an awesome day! I’m thrilled that you’ve all stuck around this long. Thanks for all the love!

[darkspellmaster]

She-Ra Trailer Theory: Cons

Okay I’m going to pretty much put these down as they come. The longer they are the more likely I have a major issue with them, the shorter the comments, consider those more along the lines of nitpicks to meh sort of things. Those would be aspects that I personally may not get but others may like, so meh on it. 

So to start with, we have the weird portal opening up. 

My main issue is, what is the point in showing this? That’s not the fright zone. Certainly isn’t Skydancer mountain, and isn’t part of Mystracor. Is this supposed to be Shadow Weaver casting a spell? It looks a lot like the portal in the 2002 He-man series. If they are avoiding that show, why connect to the portal idea there? Yes Hordak was cast into Etheria but why do the same sort of thing you were doing in the 2002-03 Masters of the Universe show if you’re trying to avoid it. Seems kind of dumb to me in that sense. 

Also, if this is a portal to the Horde Planet, then is this Hordak doing this, or Shadow Weaver again? And is Hordak there or in another location at this time and being called down? Or is this pulling in Horde Prime? So are they aliens or magic users here? Seems more like Aliens which ties into the mini comics, but the designs seem to imply the 2002 He-man. So what is going on here. I don’t like this shot being used as it probably will come off as confusing later on to the viewers who have no idea of the Lore of MotU.

Hordak. Okay, I will admit when I was little I liked Skeletor a lot more because I always felt that Skeletor was funnier due to his voice, and Hodak was creepy. Now, I will say this though, that creepy factor played a big point in what made him a threat. This...what the heck is this? 

This is not Hordak. Sure he has on the Horde logo, but his design is not good. Let me explain, Hordak is supposed to look like a monster. He’s supposed to be creepy as he’s not of this world. He’s the brother of Horde Prime, the ruler of this group. This is not creepy. This is Man-bat from Batman the Animated series. 

Let’s start with his new design shall we. What color is that face? Gray, blue? It’s certainly not bone white, which is what his face is supposed to be. At least the eyes are red, but what is with the hair on the head? His race/species/whatever the Horde are, are not supposed to have hair, save for special cases like Prince Zed. Why is he blue? Then there’s the fact that his collar blends into his ears. That collar is supposed to accentuate the face, not vanish into the head. And what is that collar supposed to be? Metal? Why not go back to his old bones design. Show that he’s a danger. Right now he looks like he would be at home on a ship with the Galra from the new Voltron, or hanging out with the leads from Skeleton Warriors. 

Also, and this is more a nitpick, but what is up with making him metal with the arms. He’s not a robot, you don’t need to put him with Robotic things. This isn’t Silver Hawks. And not showing his snort, come on. Really, that’s a staple of this character. He snorts, it’s part of his thing. Then there’s the added issue of why bother having him in the dark rather than just show him. You’re not hiding anything, we see him a few scene’s later, so what’s the point? 

Then there’s the fact that he’s just on screen. Why? Again, is he not on planet? If not, why? He’s the leader of the Horde. Is he stuck somewhere? Is he still on Horde world? If that’s the case, why? He’s supposed to be a major threat and instead we get onscreen moments. Okay, so...are we trying to be the Light from Young Justice, because if so then we have to talk. 

There’s just something way to weak feeling about this Hordak, and that really really bugs me. He’s dangerous, a creature that can wreck Skeletor as seen in the 2002 MotU series where he manged to cause him so much pain he fell off his throne and down stairs because his head hurt so much. This guy looks more like someone that can be easily removed from play by another character, and I hope that’s not the case. 

I’m gonna be blunt and probably one of the few that hold this opinion. I’m not a fan of the Catra design here. I’m not against it, I just feel like she looks a lot like a character from Thundercats with this new look. Like I can see her hanging out with Wiley Kit and Kat from the new Thundercats series. She looks like she could be Tigra from Marvel Rising. Clothing wise, I don’t like the pants, shirt is fine, headress is fine, I hate the ears though, and again that’s just my issue there. 

Also she’s reminding me of an angry Merle from Escaflowne, and I really don’t want her to become that sort of character. The overly annoying one.  I get that they wanted to show more than just humans working for the horde, but Catra and the one guy in the other shot with her talking to the Horde cadets(?), but right now it’s making it appear that only the monsters are on the side of the Horde, and thus Humans vs Monsters, which kind of sucks because there was a number of non human beings that fought alongside She-ra and the rebellion, and instead the creatures are just given a minor moment in the trailer. 

Shadow Weaver. Screw. This. Design. 

No seriously, I hate this look on her. The dress looks really dumb. Are they supposed to be tentacles that are walking her? Is she just floating, and if so, why? We can see she has human hands, but no feet? 

The top is bad, really bad. It makes no sense to be cut the way it is. It would be a pain in the neck getting it on. There is nothing in this design that works. What is up with the turtle neck? She doesn’t need it if she’s wearing a mask and what looks like a high collar dress. It’s annoying and fabric doesn’t work like that! 

Also the mask, that mask is...ugh. What are we going for here? Phantom of the Opera, Cobra Commander, Destro? M.A.S.K.? Rom Space Knight? One of the X-men? A 90s retro villain from Image comics? Like seriously? What is with this horrible design for her. 

Then the hair. If she’s not a shadow creature like, Kurogiri from My Hero Academia, then why is her hair floating like that? Then it, like Hordak’s, blends into the background. Why are we having her hair float? She’s not a living shadow, she’s a former Princess from Mystacor who betrayed the others for power.

I’m damn sure that they are sticking with that backstory since it’s the most likely reason that the first princess group fell. Unless they make it where her working with the Dark arts turned her into this, because then we’re just redoing what happened to Haggar, and she’s a bit of a redo on several other various characters who go evil when they seek too much power. 

Also, if they are making her the one that stole Adora, or the one to raise her, I will be really mad because that changes a huge important aspect of Adora’s life with the Horde. Yes Shadow Weaver did “raise” her, but the thing is that there was another woman involved there who actually gave Adora her moral code. Now if Shadow Weaver wants her back because she probably is the key to getting them into Eternia, then yes that is right, but if it’s “She’s my daughter and I love her” then the team really do not understand Shadwo weaver at all. Shadow Weaver is a selfish woman who only cares about herself and her desire for power. So I’m not digging this version of Shadow Weaver very much. 

Where the sword is located. This sword is supposed to be with it’s twin in Castle Grayskull. Unless this show tells us point blank that the Sorceress threw that sword into Etheria and it had the vines grow over it I’m calling BS on where she finds it. 

The sword of protection is the twin sword to the sword of power. They are the connecting pieces to that of Grayskull and the power that is given to both She-ra and He-man. We know the sword is connected to Grayskull as she even says it when she does the “For the Honor of Grayskull” which is in Eternia. So why would the Sorcress abandon the weapon that would be the one thing that can defeat Hordak? Again, I hope they correct this in some way and address it sooner rather than later, because they made that same damn mistake with the Snake-men in the 2002 series. 

Netossa...ah Netossa...what have you done to Netossa. 

Now I’m not going to complain about her looks, I’m more annoyed with the fact that she has magic. One of the many cool aspects about Netossa that made her stand out was the fact that she didn’t need magic to be a bad-ass. Hailing from the far north of Etheria, she became an expert with her ability to use nets to capture and hold enemies. She never had magic at all and became one of the best allies in the Rebellion all from hard work and practice. 

When the others had issues where their magic couldn’t be used, she could easily handle things because, again, she didn’t need to worry about it because no magic. 

Now we have this version giving her magic, making it where only the boys are special enough to not need magic to do things. It just sort of annoys me that they took that away from her. She was skilled enough not to need to use magic to make her special and now Bow and maybe SeaHawk will be the only ones that don’t use magic. I get the idea of making her a magic girl too, but I always loved her because she wasn’t like the other characters. She became a bad-ass on her own, and worked hard to be one. 

So, I”m guessing here that the chick with the horns is probably the OC Noelle mentioned. *sighs*  So here’s my question, is she just a background character that stands there and does nothing. Okay fine...I can deal. But if this character starts to play a part and replaces someone like say Flutterina, or Peekablue, it will become a sticking point for me. D&D characters should not be in She-ra. It’s a completely different franchise and personally I do not want that cross over. I don’t want her to become a mary-sue and over shadow the rest of the cast. That’s what worries me. 

Okay this one is a huge sticking point for me. Spirit here better have been transformed by the damn sword before this scene, because if he’s already a unicorn/pegasus, we have a serious issue here and someone didn’t pay any attention to how that sword works. 

The Sword of Protection is a transformation item. Unlike the Sword of Power, Protection can become many things as well as change many things to be used by She-ra. Spirit, her horse, who becomes Swift Wind when he changes, is a normal horse. He’s a ordinary horse, and Adora changes him with her sword to make him become more advantage to her fighting and to connect to the idea of her becoming someone different. (And I’m about to get to that in a second.) 

By having Spirit already a magical flying horse you take a way a big part of the secret identity situation, as well as showing that they change into something more powerful than they are with the sword. By leaving him as a magic horse early on, you kind of screw that up. Also he better talk. 

Speaking of issues about secrets...

Why the hell are we having everyone know who She-ra is! That’s sort of the deal with this. It’s a secret! Not only for the safety of Adora, but for the Rebellion as well! 

Having everyone know means that word will get back to Hordak and pretty much then everyone will know her weak points! That’s damn dumb! Oh sure drama with Catra, for about an episode or two, but other than that, it makes them seem dumb that they can’t beat her. Not only that, but if they know, then if Glimmer get’s taken and Angella has to chose between telling the Horde who She-ra is or see her daughter hurt, (because they will), she’ll probably tell it’s Adora. And if Catra knows, I mean what’s to keep her from telling Hordak? Like is Shadow Weaver that dumb to Hide it from Hordak? Are they really making these guys that dumb?  This is the point of the secret identity thing. It’s to keep her safe and her friends safe, and why Madam Razz, Kowl and Lookee were important to the story. 

Speaking of...why are so many characters missing? 

Okay I can get half of the Princesses missing because they were part timers. But Madame Regina Fancy Razz, Broom, Kowl and Lookee were all part of the show from the start. They were the ones to discover the truth and were the ones to make sure that the Horde doesn’t find out that she’s She-ra. Now everyone in the freaking Rebellion knows, and that doesn’t bode well for story telling. 

Razz could contact the Sorcress, and was also someone that was up their with Shadow Weaver in the magic department. Broom was the one that helped her out with spells and also was someone who gave good advice to Adora about real situations, Kowl was the guy that was friends with Bow and knew his back story and helped him out a lot, and Look-ee, was....well he existed. Missing them though seems like a bad choice in this. Maybe as others have said they will show up in the next season or this one, but still I would think that having the person that was Queen Angella’s second best friend not around is, weird. 

If that is Imp, well that sucks. One, why make him a baby? Unless he’s like freaking Koenma, from Yu Yu Hakusho, where he can get older and has an older brain in him then what’s the point of making him a baby? To give Hordak a more annoying character to hang around with? To make him be a daddy? Come on! Lame. 

Imp is the most reliable of the Horde, even above Shadow Weaver when it comes to doing things. He’s a bit of a jerk, sure, but over all he’s an interesting villain with some comedic elements. Making him a baby just is weird. What’s he going to do? Cry them into a bad situation? I’m sorry, it’s just way to weird. It didn’t work in the 90s when this was a thing, and it sure as hell won’t work now. 

Unless he’s Death 13′s Baby, I’m already dreading this character. 

Also why is Entrapa with the good guys? 

Is this Entrapa? If it is, she better become a baddie because she’s a Horde worker, and honestly having her with the good guys is way to weird. 

Lastly....

Where the hell is the Horde?

Is this it? 

Is the girl with the dreads supposed to be Octavia? She’s the only other female character. Unless that’s a new version of Mantenna? Like the only one that could be Leach is the green guy and he looks more like a lizard or reptile creature than one of the Horde members. 

We’re missing quiet a few: Mantenna ( a  Rebrunk Nuru who has several ray abilities with his eyes and is the scout for Hordak) , Grizzlor (who’s like a were-wolf character), Multi-bot (a robot that can transform with others to create a new sort of monster and armor), Dylamug (who can shift faces and is part Robot),  Admiral Scurvy (Cyborg head of the Horde Navy), Vultek (who is a flying bird man creature that is in charge of Hordak’s zoo where he keeps creatures that he finds interesting -including those that are beings from Etheria), False-Face (A shape shifter that can take on any appearance). 

Then there’s Scorpina. I know there were complaints about She-ra’s look, but if this is about good looking costumes, why does Scorpina have Power Girl’s window in her outfit? Her old one covered more than her new one does. 

Also, straight up, are they going to at all cover the fact that Scorpina owns slaves from Etheria? She’s from the Crimson Waste and was right up there with power in regard to control over Etheria. I just hope she’s actually a force to deal with and not someone who is put under Catra’s thumb because those two would go at it in regard to power struggles all the time. 

Lastly, I’m hoping that Hordak is actually the main villain and not Shadow Weaver. I’m not a huge fan of “Girl’s show must have girl villain to fight against” because if it’s Shadow Weaver as the big bad and Hordak’s just a Doctor Claw like person then I’m going to step away from this show. Hordak and She-ra’s relationship is key to this series as a whole. He stole her from her family, brainwashed her and forced her to serve him. The fact that so much of her history is being stripped here, is not a good thing. She stood up to the person that basically abused and used her, the guy that screwed over her life and fought against him. And I think it would be a sad thing to take away that powerful statement. But that’s just me. 

[ifonlyrhona]

Big Decisions

Robert has to make the decision of his life.

Written for day 6 of Robert week on Tumblr.

Day 6 (9th September) - Write a scene, the way you wished it had gone;

What if Aaron didn't call Katie to come to Wiley's on Robert's wedding day, one way things could have played out.

Not sure I would have wanted things to go this way, as I love angst, but this is what I came up with.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Robert stood at the alter. This was it, the moment when he was about to get everything he'd ever wanted.

Chrissie stood in front of him, she looked absolutely gorgeous, every man's dream of a perfect bride. His brother stood next to him, his Best Man, who would have ever thought that would happen. He felt bad that Andy's own marriage was struggling, especially as he'd played some part in it, he still hated Katie though, would be glad to see the back of her.

His family were all here, watching and supporting him. It was the perfect day. His eyes played over the people sitting there, registering Aaron sat towards the back. He still couldn't believe he'd come, not after what he'd said at Wiley's farm. When he had left him stood there, with tears streaming down his face he'd thought there was a chance it was the last time he would ever see him. When he'd walked into the church earlier Robert had been worried he would do something, say something to ruin everything. But he'd just sat there, silent, his eyes shining bright with unshed tears. Was it wrong to think how gorgeous he looked like that. He looked away quickly, not wanting anyone to see the desire in his eyes.

This was his wedding day, nothing was going to ruin it. He would be set for life after today. He couldn't throw it away, especially not for some fling.

He glanced around the full church again, Vic was beaming at him with pride, Diane even had tears in her eyes. This was the right thing to do.

His eyes drifted back to Aaron, god he looked gorgeous, even if he did look heartbroken. He'd be fine, he'd get over him. He'd probably find someone else soon enough. Fit lad like him, it was ridiculous to think he'd be alone for long. Robert ignored the spike of jealousy that went through him at the thought.

Someone cleared their throat and he realised it was Ashley, who stood there looking at him with his eyebrows raised. He hadn't heard a word he'd said, he had no idea where they were in the proceedings.

"Robert" Chrissie hissed, a little annoyed at his lack of attention.

"Oh s..sorry" he stammered out.

"It's quite all right" Ashley smiled kindly at him. "Nerves are to be expected, this being the biggest decision of your life and all that".

Chrissie glared at him as a few sniggers could be heard behind them.

"I'm sorry" Robert blurted out loudly.

"It's fine" Chrissie reassured him, her features softening when she saw how nervous he was. "Let's just get on with it though".

"No" Robert couldn't believe he was doing this. "I can't do this".

"What are you doing?" Chrissie hissed.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry everyone" he turned to face the congregation, who looked back at him with a mixture of curiosity and shock, no one more than Aaron. He sat with his jaw dropped open, his eyes wide with confusion.

"I can't marry you Chrissie" he turned back to his fiancee, taking her hands in his and looking her in the eye. He needed her to see how sincere he was being.

"What do you mean you can't marry me?" she looked like she couldn't believe what she was hearing, it made him feel terrible.

"I'm...." he took a deep breath, this was it, no going back now, "I'm in love with someone else" he confessed. He heard the gasps but he kept his eyes on Chrissie.

"What.....I don't understand. I thought you loved me" she started to cry.

"I did too" he told her. "But I think I was in love with the idea of you. I didn't know that until I fell in love with someone else".

"You fell in love with someone else?" Chrissie repeated his words back to him, like she couldn't believe them.

"Katie was right" Andy said from beside him. "You were having an affair".

Robert nodded at him sadly, he could see the anger in Andy's eyes, he only hoped he'd not ruined their relationship forever, not when it seemed like they might be getting somewhere.

Chrissie snatched her hand away from his.

"It was only supposed to be sex" he tried to explain.

Chrissie slapped him, hard, his head rocked back from the force of the blow. He heard Victoria gasp in shock but he'd been expecting it, he knew he deserved it.

"Like that makes it any better" Chrissie screeched at him. "Who was it then? Is she here? Is she sat here laughing at me, watching this?" she looked around at everyone, her eyes wild, trying to see who looked guilty.

"Was it you?" she shouted, pointing at Alicia, sat in her bridesmaid dress next to Lachlan. Alicia looked horrified. "Was Katie right? You lying whore".

"Chrissie stop" Robert pulled her back from where she was advancing on the terrified woman. "It isn't Alicia".

"Well who is it then? Are they here?"

Robert dropped his head, he didn't answer but apparently his actions spoke volumes.

"You said you fell in love with her" she sobbed at him.

"I didn't mean to, I didn't expect to, it just happened".

"Oh it just happened did it? I want to know who was worth throwing away everything we have together".

Chrissie pulled away from him to glare at everyone again, tears running down her face, ruining her make up and making her look like a mad woman.

"Who was it? No woman here even compares to me, they're all a bunch of cheap, pathetic whores". More than one person looked offended by her harsh comment.

"Chrissis stop" Aaron said standing up.

"Stay out of this Aaron" Chrissie snapped at him.

Aaron looked at Robert meeting his eye. Robert had avoided looking at him till now, he had no idea what he would think about all this. Aaron looked right at him, his eyes searching for an answer to a question he daren't ask.

"He can't" Robert sighed.

"This has nothing to do with him, you barely know him" Chrissie still wasn't getting it.

"You're wrong, this has everything to do with him".

"Why? Does he know who it is? Has he been helping you cover it up?" she looked between the two of them, waiting for an answer.

"Come on Chrissie" Lawrence spoke. "You're not this stupid". Robert might have known he'd figure it out, as much as Robert didn't like to admit it, the old man wasn't stupid.

The whole church was silent, you could hear a pin drop. It was broken by Victoria's loud voice.

"Aaron?"

Robert saw it, the moment everyone put it together. A few had already figured it out, a couple still looked confused but for the most part they were all on the same page now.

"You've been cheating on me with a man?" Chrissie screamed at him.

Robert stood there with tears in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Chrissie. I'm so sorry I let things get this far. I thought this was what I wanted, you were everything I'd ever dreamed of. Then I met him and...."

"You fell in love with him?" Chrissie sounded deflated.

"Yeah, yeah I did" he looked at Aaron then, the other man had tears streaming down his face.

"Go then" Chrissie spat at him. Robert stood there, unsure of what to do now. "Go" Chrissie screamed at him. "Get out of my sight. I never want to see you again" she started to hit him, her small hands battering away at him, he barely felt it though, he already felt numb. "I hope he's worth it" she spat at him.

"I...I...."

"Just go Robert" Andy said stepping between them. He grabbed Chrissie's hands and pulled her away from him, allowing Robert to back away.

"I really am sorry" he tried to tell her but she just buried her head in Andy's chest and sobbed. Robert put his head down and started to walk away. He could feel everyone's eyes on him, judging him, hating him.

He almost made it to the door of the church when he felt an hand take hold of his. He looked up to see Aaron staring back at him, his face wet with tears.

"Are you sure?" Aaron asked him. Robert leaned towards him and kissed him, it was sweet and short but all the answer he needed to give. Looking down at where their hands were linked together he smiled.

"Let's go then" Aaron said and Robert let him lead him out of the church. Neither one of them turned around to look at the people they were leaving behind, right now none of them mattered.

[donttouchthegun]

Not Perfect

Me, ignoring the WayHaught angst and looking to the future http://archiveofourown.org/works/11715888 *** Nicole laughed at the sight in front of her as she walked into the entrance of the living room, still fully dressed in her uniform. There on the couch, bundled under a mountain of blankets and curled into a ball was her girlfriend, her brunette locks scattered about over her face and her bottom lip poked out into an adorable pout. On the floor close by was Wynonna, her body sprawled out into a starfish-like position, her head tilted back and her mouth hanging open. And in a crib on the opposite side of the room, an impossibly tiny bundle of blankets lay in the middle, containing Wiley Earp, the newest edition to the family. Since his birth two months, so much had changed in everyone's lives. Nicole spent so much time in the homestead, both to help raise Wiley and to support her girlfriend, that she started spending the nights there on week days. Going home on weekends soon became tedious, and eventually it was suggested by Wynonna- Which surprised everyone, especially the officer- That she just move in. Nicole had been hesitant at first. She and Waverly were back on good terms- Better than they had ever been, really- But moving in still seemed like a big step, and she wanted to make sure that they were really ready before they made that decision. But, after some talking and some consideration, she had packed up the few belongings she had that actually still remained at her own house and moved into Waverly's room with her. It hadn't been much of an adjustment, considering that before her move she was only absent from the homestead two days a week, and most of her clothes already had a place in her girlfriend's wardrobe. Dolls and Doc were also over a lot, almost every single day, but they never spent the night, save for the first week Wiley was brought into the house. Since breaking the seal in Doc's ring and defeating the demon Clootie, things between everyone had begun to calm down. The fight hadn't been easy and had resulted in Nicole ending up with a broken leg that still had yet to fully heal, thanks to Mercedes, so she had been on paperwork at the station until a few days prior. Well, the demon pretending to be Mercedes. Despite the best attempts by doctors, they couldn't save her, and though she hid it well, everyone could tell she was pretty broken up by what happened. After her death, they broke the third seal and resurrected Clootie, and after a vicious fight, a shot between the eyes from peacemaker sent him back to hell for good. Wiley's birth hadn't sparked the resurrection of any revenants, they knew that the Earp curse had finally come to an end. There had been a lot that Nicole and Waverly had to get past. It wasn't easy finding out about the kiss from Rosita- It was heartbreaking, if she were being honest- But the officer also was tired of space and she didn't want them to drift apart. It wasn't like she was entirely innocent either. So instead, they had spent an entire night sitting together, just talking. At first, it wasn't about their relationship. It was about anything. Good and bad memories from the past, old crushes and dreams, idols and hero's. There was still so much they didn't know about each other. And eventually, they had come to their current issue. Could they trust each other. It was evident that Waverly didn't like Rosita that way, especially considering she was drunk and hurt, and she felt horrible. And Nicole had only hidden the DNA results to protect her. It wasn't easy, and there were things that they had to work on. But, neither were ready to let the other one go. Because, despite the betrayal, they loved each other. And that was more important to them both. So instead of splitting, they promised to always be honest with each other, and try to go on from there, rebuilding their trust in each other. So far, it was working. Laughing quietly at the sleeping women in front of her, Nicole carefully made her way upstairs, stripping her uniform in favor of a pair of shorts and a spaghetti strap tank top. After running a brush through her curls and discarding the uniform in the laundry room, she made her way back into the livingroom. A soft gurgling noise immediately caught her attention and she made her way over to the crib where Wiley was lying on his back, staring up at her with wide open and incredibly deep blue eyes. Chuckling down at the infant, she scooped him up into her arms and held him close. Wiley was a relatively easy baby. He didn't cry often and when he woke up from his sleep he normally would just make noises until he got what he wanted. He really only cried if no one came within the first ten minutes or so, or if he was tired. Nicole carried him into the kitchen, opening the fridge and warming a bottle up in the microwave. As she waited for the formula to heat up, she held the baby under his arms and grinned at him, pressing a kiss against his forehead. "Hi baby," she cooed, nuzzling his nose with her own. This enticed a spurt of giggling from Wiley and he smiled, reaching out to play with her hair. She couldn't hold back a similar grin and she joined him in his laughter until she heard the microwave beep to signal it was finished. Pulling out the bottle and making sure that it wasn't too hot, she held it to Wiley's lips and he began to drink. She made her way back into the living room and held him under his head, settling down on the floor and leaning back against the couch that Waverly slept on. About 10 minutes later, when she felt a gentle hand in her hair, she smiled and leaned back into the touch, turning slightly to be met with a pair of hazel-green eyes staring sleepily at her. "Hey you," the brunette yawned, rubbing her eyes with her free hand and leaning forward to tuck her head in the crook of her girlfriend's neck. "Hey baby, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," Nicole apologized, leaning against Waverly's head in comfort. "S'okay. Sorry I was sleeping when you got home, I tried to stay up for you but then I just passed out," she pressed her lips against the ginger woman's neck, then smiled down at the baby in her arms. "Hi Wiley," she cooed, reaching down and running her hand across his arm gently. "Don't worry about it. I haven't been home for long," Nicole assured her. As Wiley finished his bottle and let out a sleepy yawn, the officer held him close to her chest a rag over her shoulder as she rubbed his back gently. When she heard him burp loudly and giggle she couldn't help the laugh that escaped her lips, mimicked by the girl behind her. Wiley's eyes had already begun closing and she stood carefully, laying him back in his crib as gently as she could and covering him with the blankets inside. If there was one thing he had in common with his aunt more than anything else, it was that he couldn't sleep when he was cold, and he would whimper and protest until he was satisfied with his covers. When she was sure he was asleep, she made her way back to the couch, where Waverly took her hand and pulled her down beside her, immediately curling into her front. "How was it today?" she asked quietly. She knew it wasn't easy for her girlfriend to be stuck doing paperwork. Nicole already spent so long feeling like her job meant nothing compared to what BBD accomplished, and Waverly wouldn't be able to stand seeing her reduced back down to feeling like she didn't matter. But, she felt a wave of relief flood over her when she saw the ginger woman flash a smile down at her. "Good, actually. No more paperwork for this gal- I've been promoted to patrol, as long as I promise to call for back up before I try to stop anything I see," she laughed with a shy smile. Wavery's face lit up and she leaned in close, pressing their lips together. "Baby that's great, I'm so proud of you," she whispered against her lips, unable to contain her smile. "You're a wonderful cop, you know." "Thanks Waves," Nicole brushed a strand of loose hair behind Waverly's ear, pressing a light kiss to her forehead. "I love you," she couldn't hide her blush at the words. They'd said them enough times, enough that it wasn't an uncommon thing to hear, but it was still relatively new enough that it still made them both feel like giddy teenagers. "I love you too," the shorter woman grinned up widely at the officer, and she nestled into her arms, letting out a loud yawn and burying her nose in the fabric of Nicole's tank top. "Get some rest baby," the ginger coerced her, running her fingers through Waverly's long brunette locks. Only when she felt her breathing soften did the officer relax and let herself close her eyes. They had been through a lot, sure, but this felt right, and there was no denying that. Waverly wasn't perfect, no. But Nicole wasn't. They both made mistakes. They were human, after all. Perfect was overrated anyway. She would take this over perfect any day.

[cosmosogler]

oh man... last night i was kept up by the hurricane. it was impossible to tell if it was daytime or not. when my alarm went off i just turned it off and went back to sleep. i woke up again and saw the window was still dark and rattling and i flopped out of bed to check my clock and it was like 8 or 8:30 so i got up.

i was having bad dreams anyway.

the bad dream was of the variety where i am painfully and noticeably dying (i think i was poisoned by something, but i can’t remember what) and i have to like solve a puzzle or follow directions to save myself. but since i was getting weaker and weaker and less able to focus, the directions became harder and harder to follow. especially since it involved trying to read a phone number that kept changing and dial it into a receiver whose configuration kept changing. and also trying to reset a fuse box?

the way my brain interpreted “poison” pain was “panic attack headache” pain. so just the continuous jolty stabs of static shooting from the back of my neck up and around to my forehead. haaard to focus with that going on!!!

so i was out of bed by 8:30. i think it was actually just 8:01 when i got up and checked my phone. it’s so easy to lose track of time. i gave snoopy some medicine. she’s only got one dose left after this- i picked up some air in the syringe today. it’s not an injection, i wouldn’t do that if there was air... just goop she has to drink.

five taz episodes today. two left. i did cry, a little bit. real solid writing and acting.

not sure what else to say. i’m isolating myself a lot... even online. i feel confused and torn over my desire to be dead and the responsibility of caring for snoopy. like, i’ll have these thoughts of “oh after i fail to wake up tomorrow i gotta give snoopy her meds” and i have to stop myself and recognize that the thing i just thought is nonsense. it feels like nothing is real. i have scratches on my arm but i have no recollection of actually scratching the arm. i guess i just kind of dig my nails in absently when i’m not paying attention and my skin is thin and weak and my nails are relatively strong.

ah, i caught myself doing it when i was thinking about what to write next. it heals fast. if i accidentally scrape my fingers and knuckles during a stressful conversation it’s healed up by the next day.

i need to have friends. it takes so much energy to invest in getting to know someone new. and no guarantee that the friendship will last, and no guarantee of what the person will say or do next.

i can’t imagine being dead? i don’t really have a direct reason to hurt or kill myself? but there’s the opposing “i can’t imagine being alive.” i have no reason not to, either. like schrodinger’s severe depression. 

perhaps more depressing is the knowledge that school isn’t really factoring into “reasons to keep going” the way i want it to. 

and... the fewer friends i have, the easier it is to shrug and say “ehhh, they’ll get over it” when i think about what would happen if i died. and the longer i go without talking to anyone the more my pets, these things that depend on me- eve, snoopy, wiley, doge- bleed out of the picture and become noise. that’s kind of disturbing i guess.

i keep flipping between throwing myself at my work and approaching it with so much trepidation that i can’t move forward. sometimes this happens over the span of a few seconds. it’s exhausting and it doesn’t help me get anything done. i can’t keep going and i can’t quit. 

i know saying stuff like that is worrying. i caught on. i am worried too. i see the psychiatrist in a week. group therapy should start in two or three weeks. 

i wish i was more proactive. but i also don’t know what else i can be proactive about. day to day i try to stay on top of things as much as i can, as much as i have energy for. but during that day i just... don’t remember stuff i need to stay on top of. no matter how much i write it down or put it in front of myself it just doesn’t occur to me to actually look. or i think “i should take a look at my to-do list” and then it’s twenty minutes later and i just didn’t and i don’t know why. 

i guess it’s called executive dysfunction. but i just don’t feel like i fit the profile of most of the things that come with it. 

when stuff like this happens, though, and i tell myself, “i did my best,” i feel like i’m just totally lying. yeah, sure, it didn’t even cross my mind to look at my to-do list today. i did my best! but i should have done something. i don’t know what i should have done, but it should have been something. how can i remind myself to do this stuff when i ignore the reminders about the reminders??? i don’t even know if it’s consciously ignoring this stuff or not! it just doesn’t get done and the best i can do is tell myself it was an accident.

man, who even knows. i feel sick. physically sick, a little bit, my throat’s been just a little sore and my stomach just a little upset for like five days now. like i can feel my body wanting to become sick, but it just isn’t getting there so i am slightly uncomfortable and anticipating another shoe that keeps not dropping. i guess the turbo vitamin c drink stuff really does help! or is it just delaying the inevitable? i can’t afford to get sick during the year any more. there’s just too much work. that i keep not doing.

[megamanx1994]

Captain Falcon: The Last Mimeosome Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Battle on the Eagle (Disclaimer! I own nothing of SSB or Xenoblade X!) There was a meeting with all B.L.A.D.E soldiers. “So that’s the basics of it,” I said, “We land on the Father Eagle, take these explosives, then trigger them to explode.” “We’ll split into 3 groups and take each section, that way we can get the task done faster,” said Colleen, “Then we take on Yellow Devil.” Alexa came out with a new remade skell. “Alexa and I have also been working on the skell weapons, and made some new ones out of scratch,” I said, “Now they’ll be able to float higher than before, and with enough power, we’ll land right on top of the battleship.” “Nicholas, are you sure this is gonna work?” asked Yelv, “What if it doesn’t?” “It will work,” said Alexa as she jumped out of the cockpit, “I’m 95% sure it’ll work.” “95%?” asked Yelv, “Well the other 5%?” “The skells fall,” said Alexa, “But they won’t be damaged or anything.” “She’s right,” I said, “A 95% is still an A as far as I’m concerned.” “I can live with that,” said Gwin, “I haven’t gotten a 95% before but its not a bad thing.” “You heard the man,” said Irina, “Stop suckin’ your thumbs and let’s light this candle!” Everyone cheered. I then made a call to Korra to get her friends ready for battle. Warriors from Smoke+Mirrors As a child you would wait And watch from far away But you always knew that you'd be the one that work while they all play In youth you'd lay awake at night and scheme Of all the things that you would change, but it was just a dream! Here we are. Don't turn away now (don't turn away) We are the warriors that built this town. Here we are. Don't turn away now (don't turn away) We are the warriors that built this town from dust. I went to the lab to get the Mark X armor and started to put it on. It was a red button that goes on a top. I pressed it and the armor started to form on me. It had an upgraded arm cannon and photon saber. “Alexa, you still got that prototype?” asked Colleen. “Yeah,” said Alexa. “Give it to me,” said Colleen. Alexa gave her a glove that could produce an energy based shield. The time will come when you'll have to rise Above the best, improve yourself Your spirit never dies Farewell, I've gone to take my throne above, Don't weep for me Cause this will be the labor of my love (my love) Here we are. Don't turn away now (don't turn away) We are the warriors that built this town Here we are. Don't turn away now (don't turn away) We are the warriors that built this town from dust. Cross morphed back into his armor and got ready for battle training with Elma. “I won’t let those guys anywhere near B.L.A.D.E,” said Cross, “I can take them down with one swoop.” “That’s good concentration Cross,” said Elma as she smiled, “But don’t take on more than you can chew.” “Got it,” said Cross. Here we are, don't turn away now (don't turn away) We are the warriors that built this town Here we are, don't turn away now (don't turn away) We are the warriors that built this town from dust Preparations were complete and we started to fly off. “Good luck soldiers,” said Nagi, “And God Speed.” Cross caught up with me. “Getting’ use to the flying mechanics I see,” I said. “Most def,” said Cross, “This is awesome!” We were getting closer to the battleship. “Ok everyone this is it,” I said, “On the count of three, we take the skells and jump on the Father Eagle!” I said. Everyone in skells started to get ready. “1, 2, 3!” I said, “JUMP!” They all jumped. One by one the skells started to land on the battleship. Alexa was the last one to jump. “I made it,” she said. “Now let’s get cracking,” I said. I started to fly in. Bexley saw us coming. “Time to destroy B.L.A.D.E,” he said, “Soldiers move!” C.H.A.O.S soldiers in armor started coming out. “Let’s take them down!” I said. Cross, Colleen and I started moving in. Colleen jumped down and fought off the soldiers with her new shield. Irina’s team was handling C.H.A.O.S soldier as they made their way to their said location.

She was more skilled in hand to hand combat than ever before. As she kept fighting, her hands started to have fire. “I don’t know what this is,” said Coleen, “But it could be useful.” I was shooting down C.H.A.O.S mechs to the ground. One soldier had me on his sights and was about to fire. Someone shot an earth attack at him and he fell. It was Korra. She bought along Mako, Bolin, Opal, and Asami. “Hope you don’t mind if we crash the party,” she said. “The more the merrier!” said Colleen, “Let’s hussle!” The C.H.A.O.S soldiers were no match for Colleen thanks to the training she took with Elma. Elma was in her skell cutting down enemies like a knife through hot butter. Cross was lending a hand. He got out his assault rifle and fired. He was doing barrel rolls and dodges to avoid enemy fire. He kicked one soldier in the face. “We’re almost in position,” said Cross. Elma was about to move foreward but something was holding her skell back. It was Bexley. “Did you miss me?” he asked. “Let her go!” said Cross. Bexley grabbed him using the labranyum and threw him at Elma. She fell out of the skell and was holding on to the edge. Cross got back up and started to fight him. Bexley evaded each of the swings he did with the Photon saber. “Well, I gotta hand it to you Cross, you’re a bigger pain in the neck than I would’ve ever thought possible,” he said. Cross tried to kick him but he stopped him. He then pushed him to the side and grabbed something to use as a weapon with the labranyum. “I consider myself an even tempered man, it takes a lot to get under my skin,” said Bexley, “But congratulations; you won a solid gold trophy.” Elma saw he was in trouble and started to get back up. Colleen, Alexa, and I made it to our said location and started to plant the bomb. “Bomb is set,” I said, “Let’s get outta here before….” Someone fired at us. It was Agent Zero. “Going somewhere?” he asked. He got out his double bladed photon saber. Colleen summoned her shield and I got out my photon saber. Alexa got out her spear. “I will not let you interfere with the mission,” said Zero. “If you carry on with this, B.L.A.D.E will die, and people will get killed,” said Colleen, “I can’t allow this to happen.” Zero was still in his fighting stance. “Don’t make me do this,” said Colleen. He charged up to her and I blocked his attack. The three of us started fighting him. Despite him being outnumbered he was able to handle his own. Cross was still battling Bexley. “I hope you aren’t getting tired already,” he said, “That’s a damn shame, cause I’m just getting warmed up!” He summoned the particles to him and formed a giant. “Let me show you what I’m truly made of. Rock made it to the fight. “Another one of Wiley’s punkers,” he said. He got out his arm cannon and joined the fight. Bexley started attacking and they started avoiding the attacks. Elma grabbed one of her pistols and started to fire.  Link and Saria were fighting off C.H.A.O.S soldiers. Link was amazed at Saria’s airbending skills. “You’re strong,” he said. “I know,” said Saria. Two soldiers had their guns trained on Link. “Alright pipsqueak,” said one of them, “Drop your weapon and we might let you live.” That pissed him off. “WHO YOU CALLIN’ A PIPSQUEAK?!” he said. He pummeled them both. Irina and Gwin saw that Elma was in trouble. “Hold on Colonel!” said Irina. She and Gwin went to help but Bexley pinned them down in traps. He then started to try and tear Gwin’s skell apart. “Oh shit,” he said. Cross noticed that some of the labranyum was falling to the ground. “Wait a minute….” He said, “That’s it!” He went around saving all of his friends from the labranyum trap. “New plan guys, don’t worry about the mask,” said Cross, “Focus on the labranyum, and it’ll fall off the battleship.” “Now that’s a plan!” said Rock, “Let’s do it!” Elma jumped on Cross’s back. “I’ll guide you,” said Elma. “Got it El,” said Cross. “I’ll cover!” said Rock. He shot a smokescreen ball. Bexley got to higher ground. Cross was flying near him. He started to attack. “Up!” said Elma. Cross flew up. “Ready…… NOW!” said Elma. Cross started flying down and punching the labranyum. It started to fall off the ship. Gwin and Irina did their part and fought off the labranyum material. We were still battling Zero. “Don’t do this Zero!” said Colleen, “We’re your friends!” “You’re not my friends,” he said, “You’re my mission!” I started slashing at him and managed to break his saber in half. He kept coming at me. Colleen whacked him with her energy shield. Zero then started to fire at her. Alexa grabbed the explosives and was running to the location, but was stopped by C.H.A.O.S soldiers. “I know you think you have me outnumbered,” said Alexa, “But I’m stronger than I look.” She shot a burst grenade and blinded them all and kicked their asses with the help of her skell. She could remotely control it. While the skell was keeping the soldiers busy, she made her way to the detonator.  Cross was still fighting Yellow Devil using all his skills he learned to take it down. Everybody was doing their part in helping Cross.  Bexley had enough and caught him in a hold. “This ends NOW!” he said. He summoned more labranyum to attack. Something was wrong. “You’re out of Labranyum,” said Elma. Cross broke free. “No matter,” said Bexley, “I can still take you and all of B.L.A.D.E down.” “Don’t be so sure,” said a voice. Bexley looked behind him to see Nagi. “Nagi,” he said, “Have you come to apologize, to save my soul.” “I’ve come back to stop you,” said Nagi, “From what you’re becoming.” “Its too late for that,” said Bexley, “You knew that I was still alive, but when the building started to collapse on me, what did you do? Nothing!” He got out his sword and Nagi got out his. “Let’s end this,” said Bexley, “Once and for all.” He attacked ferociously and Nagi kept avoiding the attacks. “Is that all you got?” asked Nagi as he grinned. “Oh I’ve got more than that,” said Bexley as he attacked again. Nagi bended and jumped over. “Whoa!” said Cross watching, “For somebody his age he can sure move!” “I have failed you Bexley, and I’m sorry for that,” said Nagi. “Oh I’m sure you are,” said Bexley, “But not as sorry as you’re gonna be when I take everything from you.” He pointed his sword at Nagi. “It’s a good thing you’re here,” said Bexley, “Because now you’re going to watch everything you created be destroyed, then its your turn.” They kept fighting. “The war is over, B.L.A.D.E will soon be dead, and once I’ve killed you, you’ll be nothing but a memory,” said Bexley. “Wrong,” said Nagi, “The war for peace has just begun.” Alexa set the charges. “Timber!” she said as she pressed the button. The battleship started to lose altitude. “Its over Bexley, you’ve lost,” said Nagi. “I may not be able to destroy B.L.A.D.E hq, but at least I can kill its secretary!” He charged at Nagi and plunged his sword through him. But something was wrong. Nagi wasn’t phased. As it turns out he was a ghost. “See you around kid,” said Nagi as he started to disappear. Nagi was still back at base and opened his eyes. “Its over,” he said as he smiled. Elma, Cross, and Irina had their guns trained on him. “You’re under arrest Bexley,” said Doug. Bexley saw an escape chopper. “Another day Doug,” he said, “Another day.” He ran and jumped in it. “Let him go,” said Doug, “He’s not worth it.” We started to evacuate and I saw Zero stuck. I jumped down to help him. “Nicholas no!” said Colleen. “I gotta help him!” I said. Colleen joined me. I helped him out. “You know me Connor,” I said. “NO I DON’T!” said Zero as he punched me. “Whoever did this to you has brainwashed you to make you forget us!” I said, “Deep down you have to know who your friends are!” “LIAR!” said Zero. He grabbed me by the neck. “If I go down you’re going with me!” he said. Colleen tackled him and they started fighting. “Nobody attacks my friend like that!” said Colleen, “I swear, those bastards will pay for what they did.” Zero punched her and she blocked. Fire started to erupt in her hands. She blew a punch super hard and fire formed around it forming a falcon. She then had him pinned. “No matter what happens, I’m here for you,” she said. Those words started to ring in his head. Part of the ship fell off and we all fell. Cross scopped Elma up bridal style and they flew off. Zero swam up from the debris and carried us both to safety. I woke up in a hospital bed next to Colleen. And my robotic arm was busted. Again. There were interviews with Secretary Nagi about the near destruction of B.L.A.D.E. Many of the C.H.A.O.S soldiers were arrested or missing in action. Although we completed the mission there was still so much left to be done. I kept training with the X armor while Luna and Alexa were working on more skell weaponry. Elma was also interviewed about thee information. Later we were staring out into the sky. I saw Cross being congratulated for all of his hard work. “Looks like he’s made his mark on B.L.A.D.E community,” I said. I walked up to him. “So, you enjoying yourself?” Elma asked. “You bet,” said Cross. “Oh, I almost forgot,” I said, “This thing has a collection of all the stuff you’ve missed since you were in that stasis pod.” I gave him a list. “I’ll keep this in mind,” said Cross. “Give me a sec to fill out some more information, and we can continue training,” said Elma, “I think you’ll be in for a big surprise.” She gave him a hug. As soon as she left I turned to Cross. “So you think you’ll be on you’re a-game in a week?” I asked. “Yeah, why?” asked Cross. “Well, a little birdie got you nominated to take the skell liscence exam,” I said, “She convinced Vandham that you were ready and he couldn’t agree more.” He smiled. “But I totally understand if you wanna take some time to rest,” I said. “Thanks,” said Cross, “……So when do we start?” I grinned. Thunder from Evolve Just a young gun with a quick fuse I was uptight, wanna let loose I was dreaming of bigger things And wanna leave my old life behind Not a yes-sir, not a follower Fit the box, fit the mold Have a seat in the foyer, take a number I was lightning before the thunder Thunder, thunder Thunder, thun-, thunder Thun-thun-thunder, thunder, thunder Thunder, thun-, thunder Thun-thun-thunder, thunder Thunder, feel the thunder Lightning then the thunder Thunder, feel the thunder Lightning then the thunder Thunder, thunder Thunder Kids were laughing in my classes While I was scheming for the masses Who do you think you are? Dreaming 'bout being a big star They say you're basic, they say you're easy You're always riding in the back seat Now I'm smiling from the stage while You were clapping in the nosebleeds Thunder Thunder, thun-, thunder Thun-thun-thunder, thunder, thunder Thunder, thun-, thunder Thun-thun-thunder, thunder Thunder, feel the thunder Lightning then the thunder Thunder, feel the thunder Lightning then the thunder Thunder Thunder, feel the thunder Lightning then the thunder, thunder Thunder, feel the thunder Lightning then the thunder, thunder Thunder, feel the thunder Lightning then the thunder, thunder Thunder, feel the thunder (Never give up, never give up) Lightning then the thunder, thunder (Never give up on your dreams) Thunder, feel the thunder (Never give up, never give up) Lightning then the thunder, thunder (Never give up on your dreams) Thunder, thunder, thun-, thunder Thun-thun-thunder, thunder Thunder, thunder, thun-, thunder Thun-thun-thunder, thunder Thunder, thunder, thun-, thunder Thun-thun-thunder, thunder Thunder, thunder, thun-, thunder Thun-thun-thunder, thunder CROSS WILL RETURN………. Meanwhile, Dr. Light’s old pal Dr. Wiley was meeting with other scientists. “I don’t think its safe to do this in secret anymore,” said one of his comrades, “If S.M.A.S.H discovers that we’re working for C.H.A.O.S….” “Two sides of a coin that is no longer currency,” said Wiley, “What we have is worth more than they know, and we’ve just discovered the tip of the iceberg.” He was looking at Comet’s scepter. which fell from Mewni. “We can keep the captain and her friends off our tail with our secret work,” said Dr. Wiley, “And then… we will release them.” He was pointing to two test subject who were enhanced by the scepter’s power. One could conduct lightning and move fast. The other could manipulate and control some kind of neon gas. “This is no longer a world of spies, nor heroes,” said Wiley, “It is a world of miracles!”

[cosmosogler]

hi. today i got up on time, which is a surprise, considering how little i actually slept.

i had dumb dreams. i had more to say about them this morning, but before i could write anything down i had to leave for linda and david’s. 

i was playing a very glitchy game. the level forgot to program in an ending, so it just kind of went on forever until you clipped through the floor. then it turned into like some film noir, i can only think “detective” story even though i am fairly certain there wasn’t really a mystery. it was... hard to see, because it was so dark. i remember there was something going on, but whenever i almost remember what the memory kind of slides around like a bar of soap. so whatever.

i showered and drove over to my relatives’ house. they made waffles and taught me how to make berry sauce. we talked about a ton of stuff. more than i can recall and list here. i ended up staying for four hours, which was just a little too long for me. when i got home i realized i was exhausted. i rambled at oz about jim cummings for a little bit and then i had to turn around and go over to gramma’s with my family for dinner. 

dad said something very interesting while we were on the road. mom asked if i had heard back from taylor about comicon. i said no, she hadn’t texted me back. dad strongly recommended i call. i said i would send her a facebook message about it. that prompted dad to start ranting about talking to someone with your voice and how i never know anything and this is why my generation never knows anything.

not only was it nonsense, it was also blatantly untrue and also annoying? he was sure angry about this imaginary phenomenon though!

while at gramma’s my family sat in the living room around the tv and discussed yet again how our glorious leader is “not a politician” and “not a bad guy” and then they started making, like, weird non-jokes about illegal immigrants and their children and laughing. i sat at the kitchen table staring at my brother while he chewed on the fat end of a water bottle.

it’s weird how gramma and grampa work... gramma basically hates foreign people except when she personally knows them. then she’s kind and even sort of motherly. i guess she operates under the “you’re not like the others” policy.

we had pizza. i also had a klondike bar because it sounded interesting more than because i was still hungry. actually there was so much cheese on the pizza that i started feeling kind of ill just feeling it in my mouth haha.

then we drove home and i diddled around for a while. i didn’t want to do anything and nothing updates on sundays. i played fetch with wiley and my brother in the back yard since the sidewalk was too hot to take the dog for a walk. it was over 100 today. 

i saw that my art trade partner had finally posted a reference of her character so i found some nice pokemon mystery dungeon remixes and got to work. she’s probably too young to recognize the jojo pose i used. it was fun looking up images of cosplayers (and araki himself) doing the poses. i had to use people models since jojo isn’t exactly known for its exceptional anatomical accuracy. especially for the stylish poses.

the character has just a few too many accessories that have to all be different colors for me to adjust the color palette well... and she stressed that the bracelets absolutely had to be “hot pink.” three times.

i noticed that these young artists spend a lot of time making sure their characters look like adult women even though they are basically just fursonas. all three of them were pretty... busty in the references i used. i don’t think i’ve ever drawn any of my non human characters like that...

while i was drawing i was thinking a little bit about why i was doing this. like... i know it’s mostly just to make other people happy and not for any personal gain. even though it puts a lot of stress on my wrist and fingers, especially when i use the tablet. like... i enjoy drawing. i guess that’s the reward here. why did i do the coloring page? because i enjoy coloring. 

but that’s not really what i want to be doing in therapy either, you know? my goal can’t be “help me learn to manage my energy so i can give and give and give.” that’s not gonna fly. 

i was so busy all day that i didn’t really have time to sit and do nothing but think about that goal. i guess that’s why i started writing the journal so early. to give myself time to complain my way through my thought process and hopefully arrive at a useful conclusion this time.

and immediately upon saying that i have no thoughts, of course.

i wish... i could get people to see me as a person and not a potential sex conquest or whatever. basically all of my relationships pick one or the other. but my goal can’t be to change how other people think. i can’t force anyone to think anything. all i can do is change how i present myself.

do i need to stop being afraid of judgment? i don’t know how i feel about being judged... i mean, it’s been a part of my life for basically the whole time. it’s gonna happen. it comes with being uncontrollably weird. 

do i need to learn to loosen up and commit? that would really be only for singing and dancing. people wise i run into the same problem as last night. just going to get steamrolled. 

i guess being more confident would help. especially academic confidence. impostor syndrome is deadly for careers. but i don’t think academic confidence is going to help with the underlying “cannot make connections” problem. 

haha. i guess i’m depressed. my brain just said “i could always kill myself. then there wouldn’t be a problem.” i wonder why the “start over” instinct is so strong in suicidal feelings. even if reincarnation was real, losing all your memories and experience could easily lead to you just making the same mistakes over again, even with different life circumstances. that’s not helpful. but then again, carrying your “beyond repair” feelings over isn’t helpful either. i guess that sucks.

should i ask for help from the therapist? as far as “setting a reasonable goal” goes. like, i’m already asking for help in general of course. that’s what therapy is. but again i’m worried about the difference between getting assistance and having my hand held. if i can’t be independent and self-sustaining here, where will that happen? “later”? how far is later? best to work on that now too.

what’s the difference between reasons and excuses? personal opinion, i guess. 

is this a problem i can look up on google? how would i even word that request? “fix my life pls.” “how to make connections.” “suggestions for handling a deep fear of other humans.” should i... be doing some personal research like a google search before asking the therapist for ideas? i don’t really have any other resources. can’t ask my parents. the rest of my family basically says “you have to get over it, you’re smart” when i bring up confidence issues. should i go to the library or something? surely out of the billions of people who have lived someone has had this problem before. 

google says to get people to take you more seriously you have to encourage others to talk about themselves. COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

linda’s advice for academic success was to work harder. as long as you work as hard as you can, things will work out.

i just... i don’t know where the limit is. i seem to have an endless amount of effort i can give and then suddenly i break. but i could just try a little harder if i kept going... i still have energy reserves in there somewhere. i feel like every time i break it’s because i am holding back and not because i am actually sick. like when i try to run. just because i’m tired doesn’t mean it is physically impossible to keep running. i could always just keep going, if i had the mental strength. but i am weak, so i stop running and walk instead. and then i can’t breathe or stand at the end of it because i ran too far i guess.

it’s hard to balance out the knowledge that i am mortal and able to be killed by a mistake with the fact that i have survived everything so far in my life (obviously). it’s not unheard of for people to die after pushing themselves too hard. but i look at that and some insane part of me says “but they were able to push themselves that hard in the first place, and you can’t. because you’re a wuss.”

should my therapy goal be to make better jokes?

but really, all that happens is that i feel like i didn’t REALLY try my hardest, because i have not literally died yet.

maybe i am splitting hairs and not focusing on the real problem when i think about the differences between words, between good connotations and bad connotations. i can’t tell. there’s a lot i don’t know, and even more i don’t understand. there are a lot of questions about myself i need to answer, but i can’t figure out how to think about them in a way that will allow me to give a definite answer. all my answers to hard questions are soft, laced with exceptions and the knowledge that there is more nuance to the situation than i am able to articulate. and then, i guess i get lost trying to navigate that. 

is that what it’s like to be unable to see the big picture? i always thought i was good at that. maybe i am not good at that either.

maybe i am retarded after all. there are a lot of questions i have about myself and i don’t know how to answer them. but i feel like an adult my age should have at least SOME of them answered, and i feel like many of my peers have come to decisions. i’m still trying to figure out what the questions even are. 

or maybe i’m hiding the questions i’ve already answered from myself so i feel less successful. who knows!!!!!

i just want to be safe more than i want to love other people. is changing what i want a good idea? and, if it is, what should i want instead? is throwing safety out the window a form of self harm? smells suspiciously like self harm to me.

if i get hurt again, i guess i could always pretend it isn’t real. or forget about it. but that doesn’t really make me happy either.

i don’t have the strength to back up my requests. evan at villanova made a big show of pinning me against the wall and there was nothing i could do about it because he was bigger than me. craig did his thing and i feel like i could have done something, but chose not to, and therefore what happened is my fault. i don’t remember being able to make a decision because i was so shocked by what was happening. but i should have made one anyway. i didn’t know if screaming would be an appropriate reaction considering there were other people in the room and none of them said or did anything. and when i broke up with craig they tried to get us to “talk it out” so we could potentially “get back together” or at least “be friends.”

what is even the point of having friends if they’re gonna be like that.

i have so many things to say in therapy and NO TIME to say all of them. how do i pick the “most important” things? how do i only pick a few things to talk about and still get across that this has happened for 24 years straight? how do i talk about this stuff when i don’t even WANT to remember it, let alone the fact that i barely remember it anyway?

except, you know, i do remember it very vividly. i just can’t be sure that it’s vivid and also accurate. because memories are persnickety like that. and it’s not like i can just go ask the people who were there what happened. they won’t remember it or they will just straight up deny it happened. like when i told dad that mom used to beat me.

wow it looks like i’m a wreck! how am i supposed to pick one thing to fix when EVERYTHING IS BROKEN?

maybe that’s what the problem is. like trying to fix the plumbing in a house that is on fire.

[cosmosogler]

i’m so frustrated i want to scream.

i had a dream about high school. i was hanging out with a japanese girl. i couldn’t understand anything she said and i was trying to figure out a good system to communicate but i couldn’t remember anything or focus on how my hands were moving. i have never had this much trouble with a language barrier and i could not figure out what she wanted. 

that was just the start of the day though.

there was that thing with dad, of course. and i’ve been feeling crummy and sore all day. it has never let up. there was a period of about an hour where it hurt so bad i couldn’t move this evening. i felt so sick i couldn’t even feel restless. it was like all my limbs died.

i have had pms symptoms worse than this, of course, but never while actively on birth control. and definitely not when it’s not even the right week yet. i still have two more days before the pill schedule says i’m actually supposed to start. at least i caught it right away and that was, er, uneventful. i do so dislike bathroom adventures.

gotta... set up an appointment with my doctor. again. try something else.

walking wiley was pretty miserable. i had no energy and every time he pulled on the leash my whole upper body ached. thankfully he didn’t seem to find anything especially interesting on our usual route today so i could focus on just moving forward. i think some kids wanted me to stop so they could pet wiley but i just waved at them and kept going because i didn’t want to deal with people. their parents didn’t look too enthusiastic about me coming over at least.

tomorrow i gotta get up an hour early for therapy. so i am writing a little early. after therapy dad wants to go to his mom’s house. i haven’t seen her since, like, before she killed her dog i think? i have never volunteered to go with dad. i think my dad knows i don’t care for her company. then we are picking up asher to start studying for the gre a little bit.

i was completely unable to focus all day despite not moving too much. i didn’t start looking at math gre materials until like twenty minutes ago. i’ve got a couple things bookmarked now... hopefully spending some time on khan academy will help boost his confidence. that’s mostly what the gre is about. not letting it psyche you out. the general gre doesn’t really cover anything over high school, or freshman year of college level. i took it without studying at all and i did way better than i did on the subject test despite spending five months pretty religiously studying. 

the worst part about standardized tests is how soul crushing they are. you still feel like you’re bad at it even when you score in the 80th percentile. or you feel like you did pretty good and get 40th percentile. just like my grades!!!

i was hoping maybe since i didn’t have to go to school this semester i could relax a little more. but here i am with my head in my hands worrying about my grades and my lost opportunity and how rusty i’m getting with numbers. i can’t... find higher level physics material to practice with on the internet. where do i go to just, do quantum physics problems every day?? and i gave my quantum book to hogan, so he could keep up with the material... maybe i’ll ask for it back... i’ll have to go back to flag at some point anyway.

i’m too ashamed to even log into facebook because maybe i’ll have gotten a notification from someone i know. or maybe someone will see me online and try to talk to me and they’ll figure out how much of a useless bum i am. i’ve forgotten to even change my skype status from “away” for several days now. i don’t talk in the discord channels...

that feeling of “i feel like a total loser” never went away. i think having to miss another semester of school broke me. it’s hard to motivate myself to even do little things. like send emails. or look at the physics stuff that i ASKED MY PROFESSOR TO SEND ME AND HE KINDLY DID. or heck, even watching tv is a chore! sitting and reading for too long makes me feel sick. i should really be wearing my reading glasses, that might be the problem with the reading. but whenever i think about doing anything i just want to cry.

i feel stupid even talking about anything but work on my tumblr, where i go to talk about how i’m feeling. it’s great. like, i could say i played a lot of pokemon and got extremely frustrated with the luck i was having at the battle tree, but i play pokemon every day. mom and dad judge me pretty hard.

it’s hard to find anything to enjoy when i know that if it’s not work related my parents are going to complain that i don’t do anything useful. i can’t get any fun out of things i used to have a great time doing. i don’t really sit and think in the shower any more, i just kind of stand there and stare at the wall and yell at myself to wash my hair already. i can’t write or draw. well, technically i physically could do those things, but i can’t... put the paper down in front of myself. when i think about it, i just don’t do it. i guess it’s hard because making art again would mean i am trying to take steps to feel better. but i wouldn’t be feeling better fast enough and mom and dad would be like “why did you draw when you could be applying for jobs” and then i would feel even worse.

i can’t start new books or tv shows and i have trouble even picking up new short stories/fanfiction because i would spend time and energy thinking about and talking about that stuff when i could be applying for jobs!!!

i can’t even crawl out of my depression hole good enough. it would be easier for everyone if i was dead. then at least my parents wouldn’t have to spend so much money on me. and my friends wouldn’t have to watch me complain about nothing all the time. and i wouldn’t have to sit here and be myself all day.

haha, the dream i had... i was singing a song and i mixed up the lyrics. it reminded me of last may when i went to comicon and i liked someone’s cosplay and tried to point it out to taylor and i got the character mixed up with a different one right in front of everyone in the elevator. i bet i looked like a real fake gamer girl!!!

not only that, but it was an undertale cosplay, and i know how... intense the fans can be. i wanted to melt into my dress and through the floor.

i hate the way my body looks and it’s so hard for me to cosplay. i get judgmental looks when i try to play along in character a little bit because i don’t commit enough, or i commit too much, or i get disappointed looks when i don’t play along because i’m too nervous. i’m lucky if one person asks to take a picture with me. i should really make my own costumes... i could probably put in just a little more effort and maybe people would like my costumes. but i can’t sew and mom never taught me how to do anything i could use to take care of myself.

everything i learned about how to take care of myself i had to teach myself... i don’t even know how to put on makeup. i have never even once done it myself.

mostly because it’s bad for my skin and i hate the way it feels on my face, but also because i was afraid of doing it wrong and having to wear it that way all day.

i guess, i got so used to doing things wrong on purpose, like playing video games just badly enough or getting pop culture references wrong to look just the right level of Not That Nerdy, and Letting the Guys Be Right, that when i actually put in effort and tried to win i couldn’t any more. the only thing i can do on purpose is lose. and i guess... losing on purpose gives me some control over whether i won or not. since i’m gonna lose anyway, may as well let myself down easy, you know?

but i keep trying for some reason. because i’m stupid i guess. dedication and stubbornness are the same thing.

actually one time it was kind of funny. i was just starting high school and wanted to not look like an unapproachable hermit. so i was talking about tv shows with a guy. i think it was long hair jake. he brought up dragonball z. i have seen the show before, and i had only the most tenuous grasp of the plot, but i liked some of the characters enough to be familiar with their names and personalities. i watched toonami a lot in grade school. but i was so afraid of looking like a nerd, because he was so cool, you see, that i deliberately “forgot” all the characters’ names and basic things about the show. getting it wrong on purpose and letting people judge me for that is easier than trying earnestly and getting it wrong anyway without even noticing. at least when i do something on purpose i have some say in what people think of me, because i did for sure act a certain way.

i ended up being an unapproachable hermit anyway and during my second year i actually got yelled at by the dean of students for being “too egotistical to spend time with my classmates.” 

honestly i think that actually truly damaged my self esteem. here i had clearly established myself as the worst student, and was too afraid to hang out with literally anyone, and everyone thought i thought myself too high and mighty for those lowly mortals! gaze upon me and despair.

man, i hate me. i hate having to deal with me. i hate listening to myself all day. i hate the way i keep getting up and trying again even when there is clearly nothing to be gained. i wish i could just die already.

and yet... i appreciate the way eve keeps going like there’s nothing wrong even though she is clearly aware of how old she is. i appreciate that she still asks to go on walks even though she’s always sore and tired afterward. that she still wants to spend time with me despite everything.

haha i’m crying again, good night everybody, i’ll be here all week. i can’t see again, my eyes burn so bad. god it hurts.

i am just a little early tonight. but i have to get up to go to the bathroom so often every night that i’ll probably end up not getting enough sleep anyway. it wasn’t as bad last night, so maybe the medication is finally starting to help.

[cosmosogler]

hnngngh it’s already 12:20. i was going to start writing as soon as i finished the picture but the internet went out for like 15 minutes.

i got up at 10... my dreams were ~wacky and silly~. there was a musical number. it was about as good and relevant as this one:

at first i was stuck in a dark mansion with a bunch of people i haven’t seen in a long time. i was also naked. i was also looking for a wet swim suit to put on. there were lots of second hand sweaters and pool noodles and board games stuffed into every closet but i needed that wet and sticky swim suit i guess! the last part was like a cross between mary poppins and peter pan. i was doing the chimney sweep dance with a bunch of chimney sweep guys dressed in black when pirates showed up and wanted us to walk the plank. there were suddenly children in pajamas there. i got shoved off the plank since i was procrastinating about jumping off but a chimney sweep caught me at the bottom of the building so i guess it was fine.

i woke up irritated and exhausted. i only slept for maybe 7 and a half hours.

i don’t really remember what i did all morning! i was on the computer. i received some emails from my new classmates about studying for some kind of intake exam which immediately stressed me out a lot. i scanned in my art so i could digitally color it after therapy. i microwaved my leftovers from yesterday. oh, and i showered.

i got to therapy on time. it was hard to focus on my daily check in paperwork. when asked about which medications i was taking i just scribbled “the usual suspects” and was unable to figure out what my goal was for the session.

i was able to avoid talking about myself for quite a while! but unfortunately everyone else finished with time to spare so i had to talk about how i was feeling. or rather, not feeling, i guess. we talked about how i seem to be unable to form normal relationships with other people. my therapist said i rarely ever talk about myself, but i worry that i talk about myself too much around friends. i guess that’s the point she was making.

for some reason my mind wandered to craig. he wasn’t the start of the phenomenon of course but... definitely the worst offender aside from maybe mother, but that’s mostly just because i have spent far more time with mother. i quickly brushed over our relationship saying he “did stuff” before trying to move on but the therapist stopped me and asked what he did. 

i guess... while i was trying to describe the many fun experiences i had with him, particularly the whole “ignoring my firm no to climb on top of me” episode, i started crying really hard? it was embarrassing. i don’t know why it was so hard to talk about at that moment. i have talked about it before without that violent of a reaction. i’ve been so dang weepy all evening since then. i cry more over my dogs than anything else. 

i kept getting upset over and over again while i drove home and fed the dogs and cooked a semi-nice dinner for myself and walked wiley. remembering stuff. i’d forgotten that mom blamed me for everything that happened. it wasn’t important for other people to know. i kept getting the urge to, like, email the group therapist with everything i was thinking about, but i don’t really want to spend all my therapy time whining about stuff that doesn’t matter...

like... hanging out with other people, getting to know them, learning about their lives, i don’t want to think about this stuff! it’s upsetting. and i don’t want to upset them. craig was very careful to tell me i was “too much” anyway. 

all my interests are stupid. i mean, i don’t think they’re stupid, but other people will think i’m stupid for liking them. all my friends already treat me like i’m a kid. i’m “cute.” how is anyone ever going to take me seriously if i tell them i like pokemon?

i know that my friends, like asher, say “cute” with the best intentions. i’m glad they like what i do, i guess. and i am small and get flustered easily. but it dovetails so nicely with the “aww, sammie’s growing up!” comments whenever i bring up anything vaguely sexual as a joke. i’m not 12. i’m 24. i know what a dick is. i have a large mental collection of really stupid bedroom ideas from urban dictionary. “how/why do you know that?” my friends ask. like i don’t come across these things just by existing on a college campus.

like, if they’re not going to take me seriously anyway, why bother with anything but stupid jokes. my “no” doesn’t mean anything obviously. no one in my life, for so long, wanted to hear about anything i had to say. i can count on my fingers the number of times i got someone to listen all the way through a monologue. i don’t know why my middle school friends stuck around. maybe there wasn’t anywhere else to go. i certainly wasn’t nice about it.

it’s so hard to accept the idea that people might be interested in something i am also interested in, and want my opinion on it for real. asher at least humors me, though he does remind me often that he’s not able to follow my long diatribes on steven universe or adventure time or stock science fiction plots. and i’m afraid to make new friends in a fandom. what if i don’t like it as much as they do and i turn into That Guy? what if they also immediately decide i’m “cute” and that’s all i am after that?

it’s easier to just show people things they will think are cute. cute emotions. cute stories. that sex subplot in that story was really out of place. you should cut it out. cute jokes. cute personality. cute dreams (nightmares). cute approaches to problems. cute anxieties.

i might sound angrier than i actually feel right now. i’m actually just really tired. and i do think my jokes are pretty funny. it’s not that those things aren’t genuine. but they are also cherrypicked from the overwhelming noise to make other people less unhappy. and when i get negative feedback i load up on the “cute” so that the bad thing is... less.

maybe that’s why i’m so miserable. it’s hard to make connections because i feel like people wouldn’t take me seriously anyway. and then they stop taking me seriously so it’s hard to make a connection.

i’m not entirely sure though. i mean, yeah, that’s probably exactly why jay was kind of a dick to me. but at the same time, i feel like i do make, if not entirely, then at least a little more serious, connections? or do i always water down my emotions when conveying them to other people? do i only tell people things i don’t care if they know on purpose? when’s the last time i told someone something really for real private about how or what i think?

it was craig, wasn’t it. i bring up concerns with other people now, things relevant or likely interesting to them, not secrets.

but why would anyone listen to something i say if it was only about me and nothing else? that’s not useful information.

before i left my therapist asked if i was going to be able to rest better tonight than last night. i said probably not. it’s after 1 again now. tomorrow i’ve got a party with raven and my other graduating classmates at 6... i wonder if i’ll be able to sleep.

the group mentioned self care. asmr, soaking in the bath, using essential oils, that kind of thing. i don’t really like any of those things. i was thinking about that... i don’t like feeling relaxed. paradoxically, the thought puts me on edge. i just drew my picture for a couple hours instead and i hurt my hand and fingers because the tablet is so low quality haha. but i finished it, and i practiced with the tablet a little bit, and that has to count for something, right? even though it was so that it could be used by someone else. i mean, i draw my own characters for myself, but... 

everyone thinks my characters are “cute” too. even kyral i guess? i mean, there’s a degree of “not taking it too seriously” to all my stories. and kyral does, objectively, overreact to almost everything. but if i didn’t goof off with the characters a little bit i’d just make myself depressed. it can’t all be horrible. even my life isn’t all horrible.

i tried to at least stay hydrated. and have some chocolate milk, because i like chocolate milk. but the box exploded on my desk so i had to mop up chocolate milk instead of drinking it. i didn’t have as bad a stomachache today as yesterday. i tried to play it a little safer food wise for dinner. that may have helped.

i will try to sleep now. at least i talk more or less honestly about myself on the blog. there are probably things i don’t realize about myself that i don’t write about, but that’s because i haven’t thought of them yet. but of course, as always, reading my blog is totally optional. i try not to talk about my friends too much though, even when i do think about them, because it’s not generally nice to talk about people while they’re not around. i just spend a lot of time talking to asher is all.

i hope he is doing ok in canada.

ok, going to bed for real. i think i said everything i wanted to say. i hope you are also doing ok.

[cosmosogler]

hi guys. today i got up at a less unreasonable hour.

convenience stores often make appearances in my dreams, but rarely do my dreams revolve around them. i spent the majority of the end of my dream in some kind of convenience store/restaurant trying to order ice cream. i’m not sure what was stopping me. i think there was no one behind the counter. i didn’t really want it bad enough to try stealing it. i was mostly interested in the conversation i was having with a “classmate.” 

i don’t think this classmate was anyone i know in real life... maybe someone from christian school. i don’t remember their face, or if i even saw their face at any time. the conversation was surprisingly coherent, but i do not remember what we were talking about. it was either something i thought was odd about the dream, or something i thought was odd in general.

anyway i got up and checked my emails and then i went to individual therapy. i tried to plow through everything that’s happened in the last two weeks and my ongoing guilty-ish feelings for being an asshole teenager like ten years ago. i just wish... i could un-hurt them somehow by apologizing. like maybe i hurt them and they’re still hurting. there’s nothing i could really say that would be an appropriate reason to find and contact most of them...

we also talked about motivation!! i made a short list of things i’ve been doing to move forward and we talked about scheduling some time to draw in the evenings. i mentioned i didn’t really have anything i wanted to draw and then i remembered that i’d pilfered some coloring pages from the group therapy’s resources folder. 

on the way home i stopped at gamestop to pick up the pokums. i also saw some switch games that looked like they would be fun. i was about to buy a used copy of one when i remembered that my family does not have a switch. i talked to mom about it and she said maybe at christmas. you know, when i won’t be living at home any more!! when i got home i made lunch, signed my lease, and wasted time on youtube.

i watched a speedrun of yoshi’s island and i remembered how much i like that game. it’s just a cute, well-made platformer and i’m glad i had it as a kid. i kind of wonder if there are any rom hacks based around that engine. i feel like there’s a lot of potential there. might have to pick up an emulator again...

mom made the other quiche for dinner, along with some garlic bread and peas. i managed to eat most of it! and i ate all of my mac and cheese that i made for lunch even though i really wanted to stop eating!! i felt really awake afterward so i took wiley out for a walk... for 50 minutes. when it got too dark to see we went home. i bopped to some music on my ipod while i was out. 

after i took the dogs out back for a few minutes i went back to my room and goofed off on youtube a little longer. no one has anything interesting to say about adventure time except uncivilized elk and he hasn’t finished his big review for elements yet. everyone else just summarized what happened. i know what happened! i watched the show!! this guy talks about, like, themes and goes into theories about what will happen next and how it relates to stuff that happened a while ago.

at around 10 i settled in and loaded up some music and started coloring. that continued until about 11:45. i am a little over halfway done with the page. i need to figure out which colors i want to use for the little details. might do that tomorrow morning since i don’t think i have any chores i need to finish before group therapy.

now it is 12:10. i will try to get up and go to bed at 12:30. that’s much closer to my target bedtime.

i think the coloring did help... my hand is all cramped up but i feel like i did something productive. and... it just feels nice to draw and color. pencils feel good to use. i have a lot more control over my hands when i make traditional art than when i try to use my tablet, even after like 8 years.

diogi is about the same as yesterday. at least she’s not worse. she’s always excited whenever i feed her anything though, including coconut oil. she’s kind of weird. i am considering buying them more “fun” snacks tomorrow while i’m out, maybe. i mean, what’s the point of living if you don’t have interesting experiences? and since i can’t take her or eve out for walks any more the best i can do is let them try a new treat. right now they just have dry rice meal and lamb or chicken cookies. all three of them went nuts for the chicken jerky strips i brought home the other week.

eve didn’t throw up again today. she’s still not drinking much water, but she never really has. i was still a little more gentle with her today just in case she still wasn’t feeling 100%. 

i can’t figure out what i want to bring up in group tomorrow. i guess... the guilty feelings might be a good idea. start talking about/working on the self loathing a little bit. 

i am a little worried. i have been in therapy for a while now and i still am not sure where the line between “getting help” and “having my hand held” is. i don’t want to be too needy, but i also just can’t really figure this stuff out on my own. leading questions for me to think about might be helpful i guess. i know i gotta make some decisions about which feelings are healthier to spend time thinking about, and change or build some habits around managing my anxiety and depression, but i feel like i am just not there yet. i am going to try to start using the anxiety box i think. i will have to find a suitable box or jar tomorrow. 

it’s basically a way to schedule your worry. you write down an anxious thought you are having and say to yourself “i am not going to worry about that right now. i am going to worry about it for five/ten minutes at 5:00″ or whatever time you want. you put all the thoughts you get over the course of the day in a jar or box, and at the scheduled time you pull out one of the thoughts and think about it for five or ten minutes and see if you can do or figure out anything useful. if you can’t, but it’s urgent, you can think about it for ten or fifteen minutes. if you don’t take care of it, you put it back in the box and try again tomorrow. if you resolve the cause of the feeling, or the feeling itself, then you can throw away the note and pick up a different one at another time.

i noticed that my headache mostly went away when i ate enough food. not entirely, because my headaches are often caused by grinding my teeth and not dependent on how much i ate. but i did feel a lot better when i got most of a meal into my stomach. one thing i noticed that helped me keep my appetite (besides possibly the extra anti-nausea meds) was that i ate a little bit of several different things. so if i got sick of a taste after two bites i could eat a few spoonfuls of peas and then come back to the quiche later and try again. it will probably be important to keep my meals a little varied and small in each portion going forward. i think i can do that. i might need to figure out some, like, full meals styled that way that i can make. 

http://www.whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com/veg.php

that will be helpful.

or i could just go eat thai food every day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!