Something about how loudly Edwin says Charles' name in this scene has been driving me insane and I think I've finally figured out why.
When Charles finds Edwin in hell, Edwin is rolled into a little ball of misery, covered in blood and quietly sobbing. It's probably a position he's developed over decades, making himself as small as possible, being as quiet as possible, trying to take up as little space as possible. He's almost pretending he doesn't exist in order to stretch out the moments before the spider finds him and the loop starts again.
And then Charles says his name and Edwin looks up and sees Charles, and it's like all of his defenses just vanish. He doesn't whisper Charles' name, he says it, loudly, as if he has completely forgotten where he is and that they need to be quiet. He gets up, unfurls his limbs, slowly standing up to his full height, taking up space again. Every instinct in his body should tell him to stay hidden and as invisible and silent as possible, but Charles has just smiled at him, and Edwin speaks again, asking "Is that you?" and letting out a shaky breath of relief.
He is completely vulnerable and exposed now, like Charles' arrival has made him completely forget that they are in hell and that he could be ripped apart by a spider doll demon at any moment. All the defences he has built up over literal decades just completely crumble as soon as he hears Charles' voice.
And then the spider comes and rips him away, and I don’t think it would have done (at least not yet), had Edwin not alerted it to his presence like that. I think that’s why this moment wouldn’t let go of me, because I always thought it shouldn’t be this easy for Edwin to abandon a survival tactic he has developed over decades of torture. But all it takes is Charles being there, and Edwin forgets everything else.
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you know it's bad when i read svsss and tgcf, stories about just two guys falling in love and getting together, and think, "god i wish i were in between them."
gay little domestic cottage core life with binghe and qingqiu? please and thank you. being sandwiched by hua cheng and xie lian, two pretty men who are hundreds of years old? i am blushing, kicking my feet and giggling
and again, it's not even that i would want only one of them. like in both of the relationships, the two love each other too much to the point it'd feel wrong if they were separated! it wouldn't feel complete, so you gotta be with both of them!
but that's the thing; i just?? i feel so incredibly guilty whenever i think about being loved by these mxtx couples??? like it's so stupid but i feel like i'm intruding in on something and it's like, everyone else seems to just want them together only, not wanna be with them. like it's fuckin taboo or whatever
i feel like with any other character from any other media it'd be fine to simp for and write/read x readers of them, but when it comes to these books, it's off limits! no way, what are you, crazy? yes, yes i'm unhinged and desperately want their love and affection simultaneously. i want to be in a happy little poly relationship with these overpowered beautiful men with long hair.
i can't be the only guy or whoever to feel this way?? to wanna be kissed by these characters? sandwiched?? i have two hands for christ sake and they all look so happy together and im just like "lord i wanna be with them so much". someone tell me i'm not alone cmon <\3
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[Image Description: A digital painting of a Lego Bionicle Rahkshi facing left and stooped over as if tracking its prey along the ground. The background is black with a bright green vertical shape to contrast the character in front. The Rahkshi is holding its spear in its right limb, propping its body up with it as it holds its face close to the ground. It is rendered as a black metallic material with red eyes. Its hunched shape and angular spines stand out harshly against the green background. End Image Description.]
I got a rahkshi recently and wanted to draw it so here's this - kind of an experiment with studying a real life object and how to pose it into a interesting composition and then replicating the lighting
I got tired of rendering this partway through however :P
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Did the wizarding world patronus test again today and got a bat. Was a bit confused (still am) but then I was like “I did think about Sev when they told me to think about my happiest memory.” so I guess I just got my little dungeon bat protecting me from the evil in this world, which is really cute. (I also read a bit about what this Patronus could mean, and at least some things do kinda fit, especially with how my life is currently going).
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